#but in 100 or so days i plan to begin the process of starting T
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hey!! im gonna humor you (but also im just really interested), how’s your capstone? it sounds compelling:>
i think its SO cool and interesting but I may be biased i've spent the last like,, six months on this researching and planning and im starting statistical analysis next week (planning to do a t test several times over, if I have to do ANOVA i'll cry. I could settle for pearson correlation coefficient theyre not terrible)
(can you tell im a STEM guy through and through)
short version: i'm studying how often a pair of jeans should be washed based on accumulation of bacteria over a period of time, the project itself was conducted through seven consecutive days, being worn for a minimum of three hours a day, however I do believe this information could transfer over to "wears" instead, so instead of three consecutive days you could wear them three times over maybe two weeks and get similar results (in theory, this is inference made based on my decent amount of research)
longer version:
the whole reason clothes need to be washed beyond removing stains is because of odor. how does that odor get there? bacteria, baby! there is a large amount of bacteria residing on your skin (which is wonderful for your immune system, first line of defense!). The amount, types, and variety/biodiversity of bacteria is determined by many factors, including but not limited to pH, temperature, and moisture. how do these bacteria survive on your skin? sweat! sweat is inherently neutral and has no odor, it gains an odor as a byproduct of bacteria metabolizing it.
this odor is transferred over to clothes through the sweat, it wics into the textile and attaches to the fibers, bringing the bacteria along with it, they will just exist together for the most part, creating a malodor but nothing intense for now, the real fun part happens when the sweat dries. as the sweat dries, the solutes and compounds that the bacteria metabolize are severely concentrated, so the bacteria can access more of it quicker, giving it much more energy than it previously had access to, allowing irreversible adhesion to take place, which when built up can cause a lingering malodor, discoloration, loss of textile strength (thinning) not related to natural wear and tear,
the material a textile is made of will impact how sweat, sebum, and bacteria interact. most clothes are made with any combination of these three things: cotton, polyester, and spandex/elastane, each with different properties and attributes causing. ive read some journals/studies suggesting spandex to have a degree of antimicrobial properties, and for denim/100% cotton to have a degree of antifungal properties
cotton and polyester differ in many ways due to being natural vs synthetic, with one being hydrophilic and the other hydrophobic, different hygroscopicity, and general structure, as well as preparation for textile making. this results in different sebum distributions as it dries, polyester causing a uniform distribution with no respect for being face up/face down, while with cotton it dries into spherical droplets, face down, which could lead to implications and suggestions with and about bacterial behavior and odor formation (different bacteria cause different odors!)
the dyes used for clothes can also impact bacteria, it can accelerate or decrease bacterial growth/quantity/malodor, for example black jeans will gain a unique malodor that blue jeans may have. different dyes and dying processes can impact the integrity of the textile to begin with, such as stonewashing or acid wash which compromise the health of it, and traditional/classic indigo dye will strengthen/better it, with its natural antimicrobial properties. ultimately, different dyes will also have chemical properties that will affect how bacteria, sweat, and sebum interact and absorb (adsorb?)
jeans can have a different washing rate than say, t shirts, for a few reasons
one, denim is in reference to how the fibers are weaved to form the textile itself, a different structure means sweat and sebum (oil from your skin) will interact differently
two, where and how you sweat! sure you sweat everywhere for the most part, but it accumulates and acts differently in some places compared to others, the most prominent sweating is at the armpits so it has all these processes happening quickly creating a greater need, compared to your legs where it may not be happening as quickly, if at all
so with all that background knowledge, what did I actually test?
I had a person wear the same pair of jeans for seven days, minimum of three hours a day, medium wash, indigo dye, 100% cotton. i took samples on day 0, 1, 2, 6, and 7. I could not get data for days 3-5 due to reasons out of my control, but it ultimately may not matter because there was no seemingly visible difference in amount of bacteria compared to day zero and one until day seven! at day seven it was intense, easily reaching fifty colonies per plate (two sections per day, each section gets played five times), compared to the one to ten colonies, <= 2mm on the first few days,
i predict that my statistical analysis will not show a significant difference (probably p value <0.05) until day seven, but i may be entirely wrong either way, i think its going to be very interesting!
in theory it would have applications in determining optimal washing frequency, based on a variety of factors (significant physical activity or sweating would decrease amount of time between washes) to create the longest possible lifespan of the jeans, especially with the effects of fast fashion and planned obsolescence
washing too frequently can also negatively impact the lifespan of a textile and make it degrade much quicker, and not washing it frequently enough will cause bio deterioration
I would love to do this project again another time, perhaps with more people, or exploring other %make ups, brands, and dyes/colors
#apollo answers#capstone#i love science i love math#thank u for the ask#i never get to talk about science with a few rare exceptions#i hope this was coherent theres like several base facts that need to be established that have no relation until later which makes figuring#out a natural flow order for a linear essay like this difficult#for my poster i might do a flow chart instead of a bulleted list of facts#id love to answer any questions btw !! this is my pride and joy ive been doing this since like. october.
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Pick A Card ~ What is stopping you from finding fulfillment?
Disclaimer: This is just for fun and not to taken as serious advice. And there is a general reading if you are not drawn to any of the pictures or if you'd like extra! :)
Pick from left to right - 1-6
Photos taken from Pinterest under the keywords "stop aesthetics"
General Reading
It's is to no avail that the cause of blockage from any and all activities to due towards the self. How does one negate that? Well, sit with it. Feel it. Something inside ourselves is the underlining reason for not finding fulfillment, it needs to escape. The more the resistance the bigger the blockage.
Melancholy comes in mind when felt as it's full force. No need to contextualize it or overanalyzing the why or how it came to be. Just let it happen, feel the unproductivity, rest on it. That and only that will be able to clear the way for finding one's own fulfillment in anything.
Pile 1 - Stage Guitar
Too many hobbies. The fact that your deeply in so many activities has caused you to stop your findings for fulfillment. This is not a sign to stop all of your hobbies, of course not. But to limit to do 1 per day. It's imperative to find that one hobby that your genuinely most interested/intrigued/motivated by to be your main focus. That way, it leaves room for figuring out your own fulfillment of life.
Will this be difficult? Of course it would. It's probably impossible to just only do 1 hobby in a day at the very start. Best course of action in the beginning, how do you feel after doing that specific hobby. Record that somewhere and see the ones or "one" that makes you feel most alive.
Pile 2 - Pond Cat
Overthinking, your tendency to ponder ever little interaction, nuance, and decision has paralyzed you. Paralyze by overanalyze is what they call it.
Best course of action would be to write everything that your thinking and then throw it away. Yes I do mean everything, and this works best with a pen/pencil and paper. This will be difficult cause it's kinda impossible to write out everything one is thinking of course. But right when your in possession of a writing utensil and paper, write whatever comes to mind first and don't stop until you've filled up a full page. If you can't think of anymore to say before you finish the page your on the right track, of course you can stop before hand.
Although if you filled up a full page and need to write more in the back. Keep writing until you can't think of any more to write. Although if you do get tired in the process please rest, it's not imperative to strictly follow through this to a T.
Instead of overthinking your ways to a fulfilled life your on the course to fulfilling your life through the act of writing it mostly down, throwing it away after of course is an option.
Pile 3 - Forest Swing
Not planning. You've taken to much of a ease to things. Going with the flow of life basically. Your not feeling fulfilled in anyway cause you've let life take you by the reins. You don't have to get all practical and plan out a whole 100 year plan for you life. Or even as less than a year. But planning what your gonna do in the next hour however is in your perceptual grasp. Not saying to plan your life every single hour of the day. That's absolute torture. Just plan your next hour once a day. Doesn't matter if your planning the next hour at 7 pm or 3 am, what matters is the act of planning.
It's fulfilling when we follow through with a plan and succeed, so little success will catapult you to finding your ultimate fulfillment. Of course that's gonna take time but it's always the journey that counts.
Pile 4 - Messy Games
Unorganized. It is purely an assumption that your room is highly unorganized. Could be just plan out messy or just needs some rearranging. Causing an unorganized/ uncoordinated life style bringing no sense of fulfillment.
So of course the obvious course of action is to clear the clutter. Easier said than done, but throw away one thing that's laying in the room that you need to throw away. Then the next day 2 things. The next 3 things. Etc. Etc. If it ever gets to the point of "wait, I have nothing in my room that needs to be thrown away" Then you'll create space for your findings of fulfillment. Even if it's just a little bit is a great start.
Creating an organized space however is another matter and calls for categorizing similar things together in the room but only when your done decluttering. Life will begin rushing in with the attainment of pure satisfaction and that feeling is everything.
Pile 5 - Bright Cloth
Nothing actually, weird to come across this reading when nothing's really stopping you from finding your own fulfillment.
Although, your might be doubting the direction your heading but don't. Don't stray from the path your already heading towards. It's the right one and believe it to be so.
Pile 6 - Old Candle
Relying too much on others. Your sense of dependence has taken a toll on you. Filled with imperfection. Of course, life can't always be perfect and well, you've been highly independent before. And two sides of being highly dependent and highly independent has done you more harm than good. It's fairly difficult to find a middle ground.
First things first, you've been relying on the wrong people. So how does one change that? Distancing yourself little by little. Doesn't have to be abruptly but can be. Start meeting new people, easier said than done but finding community events happening in your area is a great start.
Second, rely on the right people. How does one ever do that? Low expectations, then anything they do there after is phenomenal. And well, do they have integrity? You can describe that word in anyway you like but simplicity this: "Being able to Improving oneself, better than they were before" it could go anyway in interpretation but that's a start.
When you have the right people around, life and fulfillment skyrockets.
#at this point I'm literally using the keyword aesthetics for all my picture findings lmao#pac#intuitive not tarot
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hi there, i just wanted to say thank you so much for answering my previous ask. i took some time, and i have a pretty good idea how i want to start writing the story that has been plaguing me for years (since i found HSH around 2021), but im still hesitant to start T-T
if you dont mind another question, what's your writing process like? im just curious, and also looking for examples bc i dont know what my own writing process is lol. for the longest time i just write whatever comes to mind without rlly thinking abt it
-👁
Welcome back, eyeball anon!
Honestly, that is a lot like what my writing process is, too. I usually get a scene stuck in my head while I’m driving to work, or I’m in the shower, or I’m listening to music and working out. I let it play out a few times before getting it down into words. Sometimes that works, but other times something that looks cool in my head comes out like trash on the page and I’ve gotta let it go.
Some people do really well with an outline. Other people will write an entire summary of their story, chapter by chapter, and then use that as a jumping-off point to begin writing their story in earnest. I personally find that planning kills my writing buzz, but some people really thrive with that kind of order and organization.
Regardless of what your approach is, the most important part is: Write!! Write good things. Write bad things. Write some thing that will show up in the final draft as-is. Write something that you might trash two days later. Write 100 words, write 1000 words. Don’t let the fear of the blank page paralyze you. The more you write, the easier it becomes, and the better you will be at it. 
Above all: write for yourself, and have fun with it!!

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with the news that just hit the US, i think it’s time for me to share my abortion story, or at least what i remember of it.
genuinely i feel so sick to my stomach right now. if this all actually goes through, people will die, people will become very preventably permanently physically disabled, people will suffer grievous emotional/mental trauma, from being forced to attempt to carry out a pregnancy.
this is something that is absolutely terrifying for everyone who can become pregnant, and i can’t help but think about how it’s going to impact trans men and other masc genderqueer people who can become pregnant especially. there are already fewer options for us for reproductive care than there are for cis women because of transandrophobic healthcare systems, and it’s terrifying to think of how many of those already limited options could be taken from us.
recounting of the events under the cut. cw for childhood pregnancy and for very shaky consent practices (also with a child)
i am someone who has had an abortion. i was a freshman in high school. i was taken advantage of by many people back then. i was so dissociated through most of the encounters themselves that i barely remember anything, but i remember how absolutely terrified i was when i saw the ‘positive’ line on the drugstore test i’d gotten from the school health center.
i was 15. i was a 15 year old boy who was trying his best to cope with very severe untreated mental illness and who already didn’t want to be alive. i was a 15 year old child who was pregnant after a sexual encounter that i had at least not given clear-minded consent to, maybe not even given any sort of consent to at all. i didn’t even remember when/how i’d gotten pregnant, exactly, much less who the other party was.
i was so, so, so fucking scared. i don’t even know how to describe it. early high school is very fuzzy for me, but there are so (relatively) many moments in this sequence of events that i remember vividly.
i remember wrapping the test up in almost half a roll of public school toilet paper and almost putting it in the garbage before i changed my mind, not knowing if i’d have to ‘prove’ to someone that i was pregnant.
i remember begging my best friend at the time to skip the rest of the day’s classes with me, which she did so willingly, even though she knew she’d get in trouble. i remember sobbing in terror into her old Slayer hoodie while we just sat in a side hall in the middle of fifth period, and that at one point a hall monitor started to come up to us, but left us alone once she realized how clearly devastated i was.
i remember telling the rest of my scraggly group of suicidal druggie friends, and how they all told me that they were there if i needed anything, but what could they possibly do to even begin to make this better?
i remember calling Planned Parenthood in my best friend’s tiny apartment while her mom was at work, and how her one and a half year old brother was in the room with us and yet had no way of being able to realize the intensity of that situation. i remember that i wouldn’t tell the person on the phone what my name was and that i refused to speak in anything but hypotheticals, even as i was borderline begging her to say that they could help me, that they could get that putrid clump of cells out of me. my best friend had her arm wrapped around my shoulders the whole time.
i remember how gentle the person over the phone was with me. i was trying to sound older than i was, but in hindsight, i’m sure i failed miserably. i’m sure she knew that she was talking to a kid, especially when she asked for information about my insurance or annual household income that i didn’t have the answers for.
i remember how, going into the call, i was 100% resigned and accepted to the idea that i’d have to pretend to be a girl throughout the whole process. i was pre-t, pre-op, still presented pretty femininely because that’s what was the safest and most comforting to me at the time. it was already enough of a hassle trying to have my gender respected in everyday situations, i wasn’t even going to bother trying to say anything about it while trying to access care for a ‘woman’s issue.’ but she went out of her way to ask me about my pronouns and gender identity, and so did every single other Planned Parenthood provider that i worked with during the process.
i remember that i took the metro bus to my appointment while i was supposed to be at school. i had to do it that way because i hadn’t told my parents. almost 5 years later, i still haven’t told my parents that any of this ever happened. the only time i could get out of the house for long enough to go to an appointment without my mom trying to track me down was during the school day. she’d only get the robocall that i’d missed class that evening, long after i was in the clear. i remember hoping with all my chest that she’d take it at face value when i told her that i’d just been skipping with my friends like usual when she asked me why i wasn’t in language arts. she did.
i remember how scared and alone i felt, walking into the Planned Parenthood building all by myself, hunched over myself in my hoodie and trying to drown out my fear with the Fall Out Boy music in my shitty earbuds. i remember how the receptionist smiled so kindly when she saw me, and the reassuring looks on the faces of a couple others in the waiting room as they saw a kid coming in for reproductive care, clearly petrified and with no one to hold his hand.
i remember that the doctor was lovely. she showed me all sorts of 3D models and diagrams of what happens in the body when an early-stage pregnancy is terminated, and told me that there would be no invasive procedure, that she was just going to give me two pills, and that it would be like i was having a bad period, and after that i wouldn’t be pregnant anymore.
i remember that, even though i’d been told over the phone that i would not be expected to pay for the care i received, i was still so worried that i’d misunderstood and that i’d try to leave and they’d hand me a check that i’d have no way of paying off. i remember that i swiped $20 from my mom’s wallet, just in case they asked me for money, even though i logically knew that that probably wouldn’t be nearly enough if i was presented with an actual medical bill. Planned Parenthood never asked me to pay, but it was a good thing that i had the twenty anyway because i had a blood pressure drop right after the appointment and needed to get myself a snack and some water.
i don’t really remember actually taking the pills that vividly, strangely enough. i remember that i did it at a sleepover at my best friend’s house for emotional support, that’s kind of it.
but i remember the euphoric relief i felt when i dared to take another pregnancy test a couple days later, just to make absolutely sure, and it was negative.
i remember my abortion story as being a gentle, loving, caring, respectful salvation that came when i needed it, during the terrifying, horrible, emotionally excruciating experience that was an unwanted pregnancy at age 15. i know how lucky i was to be able to have that experience. i know that so, so many people either cannot access abortion, or cannot access it in a way that was as comforting and affirming as my experience was.
i want as many people as possible to have abortion stories like mine. the US national government is taking steps towards placing barriers between people who need/want abortions and the ability to access them at all, much less in as therapeutic of a way as i was able to.
do what you can. reach out to your local officials. protest. include and uplift the voices of all who are impacted by laws like these, not just cis women.
abortion saves lives.
#i've never ever gone through the whole experience like this before and i am crying like a baby right now#my abortion isnt something that im ashamed of but ive never recounted it like this and i didnt realize how much emotion is still here#please be kind. this took me a long time and a lot of bravery and emotion to type up.#this is okay to reblog if you think it would help someone in any way#my goal in putting my story out there is to hopefully help people see how important abortion is#and what a huge difference accessible and respectful safe abortions can make in someone's life#so maybe someone will care just a little bit more about the issue#make take just one more step to combat the attack on reproductive rights that's happening#i want my story to help people#abortion story#reproductive rights#reproductive justice#reproductive care#trans healthcare#terfs dont touch#terfs dni#radfems dni
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Days 1-9
Imagine that, me with a late start. ANYWAY. Where to begin? I guess just stating what I’ve been up to and my goals. I made the choice to take control of my life and make a real change this year. I have a purpose and the motivators to get me where I need to be and I’m determined to lose this weight and become a healthier me before I’m 35. I’ve struggled with my weight and relationship with food a really long time. A couple of years ago I lost about 50 pounds, but life happened and depression beat my ass up a little bit so I teetered. This battle with BED (binge eating disorder) is a rough one and it seems never-ending, but we out here. I’ve been focusing on a bullet journal format to keep track of my goals for the year, but I also wanted to incorporate some type of daily reflection to help keep myself accountable and busy (so, Hi!).
For the month of January, I am solely keeping myself accountable for my calorie deficit. My current cut is a big one, mainly because I’m not exercising yet and I work 40 hrs. a week at a sedentary job. I was trying for 1650 calories a day for the first week and was having trouble meeting that and needed to add in more protein so I upped it to 1700 calories. Baby steps seem to bring me the best results so I start out small. I’m also trying to get back into the swing of meal prepping, so there’s a lot going on in my head right now as I create recipes and try to balance all my calories for the day.
During week one, I had a meal prep that consisted of 2 rotating meals for M-F and daily snacks since I don’t really like to eat breakfast. Snacks were yogurts, fruit, cottage cheese, and nuts.
Week One: Meal One
2 Trader Joe’s Sweet Apple Chicken Sausages
100g Green Beans
5 oz. Sweet Potato
Week One: Meal Two
4 oz. Trader Joe’s Carne Asada
1 cup Jasmine Rice
92g Roasted Broccoli Florets
As you can see, for the most part I’m trying to stick to a whole diet. I want to try and reduce the amount of processed foods I’m eating and the amount I’m dining out because it’s really gotten out of hand. As long as I meal prep, it seems easy though and I really like that. I created a “picking” grocery list to assist in grocery shopping and meal planning for the week. I’m trying to spend an average of $100/week on my grocery trips to help save money.
This week I took a little more time to look back on my mistakes from week one. I added more protein to my diet. Although, week one was a success. I lost 10.4 pounds as of January 7th. WOOOHOOO!!!
Week Two: Meal One
Perdue Grilled Italian Chicken
Bird’s Eye Roasted Potatoes with Garlic Butter
1 cup Green Beans
Week Two: Meal Two
3 oz. Lean Taco Meat
1/2 cup Jasmine Rice
1/4 cup Black Beans
1/4 cup Corn
50g Avocado
1 T. Salsa
2 T. Sour Cream
I purchased some Ghost Whey Protein....and OH. MY. GOD. The “Fruity Cereal Milk” flavor is the bomb.com, literally like drinking the milk after a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. This week I’m trying to have my daily intake be something like this:
Breakfast: Protein Shake with Fairlife 2% Milk +/- Coffee
AM Snack: 2 Hardboiled Eggs with Mustard and Pickle
Lunch: Meal Prep 1 or 2 +/- Fruit
PM Snack: Yogurt with Almonds
Dinner: Meal Prep 1 or 2
Late Snack: Cottage Cheese with Strawberries
This time I just gotta stick with it. I’m gonna show up every day and hold myself accountable. I’m going to take baby steps and forgive myself for bumps along the way. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. Until tomorrow!
xo
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Web Design At Its Best
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Getting Lost with the AOT characters!
Levi:
-I think it's fairly obvious he's going to stay silent and tell you to shut up everytime you try saying something because he knows you're clueless
-he's just flipping the map upside down, right side up, to the left to the right
-you will get back and it won't be because of the map, you two agree to stalk a bird out of the forest😭😭😭
Eren:
-he gets so frustrated. He has no idea how he got it wrong, he's retracing his steps and can't remember crap
-even though you're panicking yourself you have to remain calm because of how this boy sounds. He sounds like he's on the verge of getting electrocuted
-The whole time he's demanding you follow him because his memory is good and you just threaten to knock him out and carry him.
Bertholdt:
-he's somehow good at it, like he's been in the forest so many times that he knows it like the back of his hand
-since it's getting dark he smiles reassuringly and holds your hand so you don't lose him
-Okay but you two heard russling in the bushes and found two squirrels having seggs 💀that scared you more than the monster you were expecting
-sorry that headcannon was out of NOWHERE
Reiner:
-he's brave and shit until it's dark and gloomy and you two are in the middle of nowhere
-He BAWLS the moment he realises his phone has no signal so calling anyone is not possible
-is clinging onto your hand and denies it when you ask if he's still crying.
-at one point he thought he saw a ghost so he threw you over his shoulder and DARTED aimlessly while you wailed at the top of your lungs
Jean:
-he carries a compass around with him 100%, is jokingly trying to scare you with myths
-I personally think you guys would get lost for the day and since it's night time you can't see anything so at that point he starts a fire and you both continue your journey in the morning
-turns out the exit was right in front of you but you know our baby horse💀 always a dunce
Armin:
-he wouldn't cry or panic he would probably stand still and try to come up with a logical plan
-he most likely would help you climb up a tree to see how far away from the entrance of the forest you guys are
-I mean if it begins to get dark he can get very pale and paranoid, like the man kept walking into trees
-reminds you every 2 seconds that he's got you
Erwin:
-He's been keeping track of everything there's no way you could get lost
-he remembers things the old way, like a child. Something like:a red musbroom, then a tree stump, bridge, etc.
-NOTHING scares him, there could be a tiger inside that shit ass forest and he'd just 👁👁 hello
Zeke:
-he insists on climbing somewhere high to see everything beneath him, like you can't climb so you waited for him on the ground
-monkey man- He just needs his hands to climb, nothing else
-you did trip and hurt your knee so you got a piggyback ride on the monke man.
-you get back home faster than expected
Porco:
-Not good to get lost with him, he gets so frustrated. He's so mad that he crumples the map and you just deadpan because it's the last piece of info that can save you
-Get a load of shit with you if you go hiking with him because there's a 90% chance you'll get lost and he'll either blame it on himself or rage like an animal
-at some point your friends find you because it had been too long and Porco just goes "Fucking finally" with his arms raised completely💀
Hange:
-She doesn't give a fuck LMAO
-"Hey um, honey... we're lost..." you say, staring at the map as if it were an alien language. She stops her staring contest with the wood pecker and turns to you with an amused look. "Are we now?" She hums, returning her gaze back to the animal hidden within the shadow of the towering trees.
-Like I said, she can survive up to 3 months in the wild by herself
-Let's just say sometimes it's quick, other times you get Erwin and Levi to try and find you
Pieck:
-She sounds like a middle school teacher 💀 "Oh deary me... we're lost." She taps her chin and looks around in thought.
-I imagine you'd be the calmer person in the relationship but you'd lose your shit in this scenario
-She's just stroking your head while you have a full on panic attack, chuckling about how much you're overreacting and how the both of you will find your way back
Mikasa:
-She's 100% the best person to get lost with
-Like Hange, strong and intelligent enough to survive in the wild but she'd rather not live like that and find a way out
-Tells you to stay behind her incase anything creeps up
-her words are so reassuring and true. Like if she says 'we'll make it out of here' she ain't playin
-Miss gurl here wouldnt sit her ass still SHES SEARCHIN THE WHOLE DAY
Mike:
-Is rambling on how he's an expert on hikes and how he would never ever get lost.
-Chill we get it just find a way out😩
-He did make notes on what he saw on the way so that slightly helps but Mike seems like the type of person to move away from the exit by accident without even realising💀
-you could be telling him how the both of you are going to a different location and he just tells you to 'trust the process'
Sasha:
-you're terrified, she'd eat anything she deems edible tbh
-because you don't want that happening you both try to find your way back using the map yet you still fail
-However when she takes control of it, she begins to pull out knowledge that you never knew she had
-she's pretty fast at navigating her way back and protects both you and her surprisingly well
Annie:
-curses under her breath and begins to try and remember her steps, will probably tell you to shut up even if you aren't saying anything
-like she's even scaring feral animals away from you guys💀
-eventually it's almost night time and she lets it out by wailing 'DAMN IT' at the top of her lungs with birds flying out of trees💀
-her last resort is to just keep walking even if it's almost nightime and thankfully you somehow make it out together
Kenny:
-He's making weird noises as supposed to groaning, realising you're both stuck in this shit ass forest
-I can tell you, he runs so that he can find the way out before night and worst part is he grabs your hand so you're just dying from the amount of sprinting he does
-He assumes everything is there to attack you both, a cat popping out of a bush? He wrapped his arms around you and squealed.
#levi ackerman#reiner#reiner braun#kenny x reader#jean kirstein#eren jaegar#zeke#mike zacharias#pieck headcanons#porco galliard#porco#annie leonhardt x you#armin arlet#reiner braun x reader#reiner brainrot#erwin x reader#AOT WARRIORS#aot veterans#aot scouts#mikasa#hanji#sasha braus#annie
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hi hi ! first off, just a tip if you'd like more requests/asks in general you should prob turn on anon since this is like the only time i've sent a non-anon ask. but anyways, i'm assuming requests are open and i'd like to ask if you would write either just ranboo fluff in general or something like the tommy confession headcanons but w ranboo :D what you've posted so far is great <3
Thank you so much for letting me know! I thought I had anon turned on already, but it’s 100% turned on now! Regarding your request I got a little carried away and wrote both some general fluff and some confession headcanons for Ranboo so this post is a little long... Hope you enjoy! :D
(It’s important to note that these headcanons are a combination of ones pertaining to his Minecraft character in the dsmp and him outside of the dsmp roleplay!)
General Ranboo Fluff
- Dreamsmp Ranboo -
The first time Ranboo cries in front of you is when you confess to him and he is so happy and relieved that you reciprocate his feelings. He even smiles through the pain of his tears as you panic to cover the skin beneath his eyes, so your hands catch his tears to stop the pain.
Ranboo likes to ask if you need any resources from time to time and once you finally give in and answer, he spends the rest of his day trying to collect as much of it as he can. This has led to a few incidents in which you came back to your shared indent in the snowy mountain to find a chest stacked full with polished stone and countless ores. You’ve scolded him but the way he responds with big puppy dog eyes wishing to “just be helpful.” Sets the butterflies caged in your chest free every damn time.
Ranboo in addition to asking you for want you want he is also very observant in noticing what you need. Any tools close to breaking? Brilliant, he’s already got three more of the same tools ready for you to grab when you need it. He also names them using the anvil to some silly super cheesy pet names.
One of his favourite things to do with you is stargaze. You both travel to the top of your snowy mountain and clear out a space free of snow to lie down and simply hold each other. Ranboo has started asking Techno (on the nights you are away) to point out the stars and tell him their corresponding stories. He happily relays all of this information to you in exaggerated detail, looking at you in awe as your expressions change with the twinkling lights above.
Ranboo almost always carries a little umbrella around with him in case it begins to rain. Most of his friends notice and all start to buy him some. He now has a full collection that line his wall just next to the door. It’s those small things that allows him to remember who his real friends are.
Ranboo LOVES having his hair played with. He will fall asleep within minutes of you beginning to tousle his hair as he rests his head in your lap. He may make soft enderman noises, but you don’t dare tell him. Content on keeping that little secret to yourself.
Ranboo has to be kinda careful around snow considering that if it melts it will hurt him. Meaning he has to sit out on any snowball fights that occur. And they occur more frequently than you would think. It usually starts with Phil throwing a rogue snowball at Techno when Phil notices him slumping his shoulders. Which means it doesn’t take long until it’s a full-blown war. You usually find yourself smack bang in the middle of it and have to dive down to avoid getting pummelled in the crossfire. Ranboo will call you over to hide behind Techno’s house. As the onslaught continues between the two. you giggle and commentate over the fierce battle together.
- Outside of Dreamsmp Ranboo -
Ranboo enjoys watching you whenever you are focused on something. He’s incredibly observant and finds himself mimicking the small little nuances he sees you exhibit. He gets incredibly flustered whenever you notice that he’s picked up on them, but he doesn’t bother to deny it.
Ranboo finds himself staring at you a lot. He doesn’t mean to but he can’t help it. You catch him frequently, “Watching me real closely, hm?” He tries to stutter out an answer to defend himself, but you just smile and tell him it’s okay.
Ranboo finds a lot of comfort in doing ‘domestic’ activities with you. However, one of his personal favourites is when the two of you go out to get groceries together. His mum will give him a small list and he’ll try his best to dawdle around the store whilst swinging your intertwined hands to make the visit as long as possible. It makes him think of a future in which the two of you get to do this every single week and that alone warms his heart.
Ranboo always has to be near you, he doesn’t have to be physically touching you but he prefers to just be stupidly close to you. It always makes you laugh when he sits just close enough to you that you don’t touch, so now he has to do it forever.
Your laugh is one of his favourite sounds. To the point that if you giggle or laugh at something, he will just keep doing it over and over again for as long as you keep laughing at it. Which eventually leads to the both of you red-faced and gasping for air.
Ranboo is a terrible cook. But he tries so hard to follow recipes and they always flop. He also for some reason, cannot attempt cooking without making an utter mess of himself. Whether it’s spilling flour all over himself, getting egg yolk splatter somehow in his hair or just spilling copious amounts of milk on the floor so that he slips. This boy is a walking, talking kitchen DISASTER. So now he can only cook with you supervising him. Which turns out, wasn’t as much of a punishment as it should have been. As your tutelage seems to have slightly improved his cooking skills. However, now you also get flour spilt all over you as well.
Ranboo Confession Headcanons
- Realising he likes you -
Ranboo denies he has feelings for you at first. Believing that you’re just a good friend whose company he really enjoys. But the more he focuses on your friendship the quicker he realises he would prefer if you were more to him than that.
This thought alone sends him into a little bit of a spiral for a few days. Grappling with the thought of rejection and the guilt he would feel if he ever hurt you.
He spends most of the time grappling with his feelings he continues to try and act as normal as possible around you. You finding out would be his worst nightmare.
Ranboo realises he has absolutely no history in the dating department and desperately needs some guidance. He may ask Phil on a whim who would try his best to give the poor panicked boy some words of wisdom. Ranboo takes the advice to heart immediately, promising Phil he will update him on how his feelings for you turn out.
Ranboo finds himself writing about you in one of his many journals. He finds putting words on the page seems to help clear his mind. He tries to script his confession a few times. Desperately floundering to find the right words, but he always seems to fall short. He usually ends up scribbling all over those pages until you can barely tell someone had even written on them. Hoping to somehow erase the thoughts in the process.
He even tries drawing you a few times when he finds himself with enough spare time. He doesn’t think they’re any good though. Sure, the sketches look like you, but they don’t make him feel the way you do. When he looks at the page his chest doesn’t tighten because of your beauty, but instead because of the way you’ve made him feel. Which he comes to the sad conclusion is something he simply cannot capture in his words or his drawings. He has to show it through his actions. Not exactly his strong suit. But he’s determined to do right by you. So, he devises a plan.
- Confessing to you -
This boy plans the whole day down to a t, he has multiple back-up plans just in case his first one falls short.
Ranboo invites you over for lunch. Arriving at his place you notice how clean it is. He spent the last few days cleaning it top to bottom.
You spend a few minutes in the house chatting. You notice Ranboo is on edge almost immediately. Shoulders a pinch too tight, his smiles a little too wide and none of them reach his eyes.
You ask what you’re going to be having for lunch and he reveals a wicker basket from his kitchen. “A picnic!” Your heart warms, “I would’ve brought something if you’d told me beforehand.” He smiles at that, “Exactly. I even cooked without you, you should be proud.”
He shuffles on his feet a little, wishing to be praised, “We’ll see how the food tastes first, maybe then I’ll tell you how proud I am.” You tease, moving to elbow him lightly. You notice the way his face flushes as you move into his space. His mother appears from upstairs, “Are you two leaving? I could drive you, y’know!” “No thanks mom!!” He is quick to grab your hand and practically drag you out of the house and away from his all knowing mom.
The bus ride is on the longer side and you find yourself feeling brave enough to scoot a little closer to Ranboo. “Hey, is it okay if I?” You gesture between your head and his shoulder, the cute, shocked expression he sends you causes you to grin. “Uh s-sure!”
You softly press your head against his shoulder, “Thanks, pretty comfy shoulder you got here should’ve asked you to share it sooner.” You tease, nuzzling his shoulder lightly just for a reaction. And you get one alright, his skin goes such a lovely shade of red all the way up to the tips of his ears. You giggle softly, trying your best to hold it in and failing miserably.
You even manage to fall asleep despite your own heartbeat quickening at Ranboo’s closeness. You are tapped awake by him, “Hmm?” You rub one of your eyes knowingly appearing adorable and the way he looks at you makes it all worth it. “It’s our stop soon, we gotta get up.”
You nod and lazily stand and he follows suit. Only for the bus to brake abruptly, promptly shoving you into his chest. He wraps his arms around you quickly to steady you whilst you desperately cling to the wicker basket, “You okay?” You both mumble to each other before laughing it off and nodding. “Oh crap.” Ranboo grabs your free hand and you both scramble to get to the front of the bus to hop off. Sparks fly up your arm at the extended contact, even as you jump off the bus.
Ranboo happily leads you to a spot he had picked out earlier in the month. A soft patch of grass below a large willow tree that now sways softly in the warm breeze. You set up your carefully packaged feast with haste now that your stomachs are grumbling.
Ranboo forcefully tries to make himself relax knowing you’ve probably noticed his tense state by now. But you choose not to push him on it, taking an educated guess on why he’s so stressed.
You are quick to compliment his cooking skills when he divvies out a freshly baked quiche. Even though you know his mom for sure did most of the work. It’s the thought that counts. You hope that may snap him out of the stupor he seems to be in. However, no such luck.
“Hey Ranboo, do you want to talk about something?” Ranboo goes into full panic mode. He did not have a plan for you asking something like this. He thought you weren’t confrontational!! You watch as his expression changes rapidly. You look away, “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay. I just thought you might want to-“
He takes one of your hands in his. Why is he doing this??? This isn’t part of the plan at all! “I…” His throat goes dry. All those hours obsessing over what he was going to say to you are sent out the window when he finally meets your eyes.
“I think I like you.” He hasn’t realised he’s even said it until its waaaaaay too late. Your eyes widen, you didn’t think he’d actually admit it to you. You squeeze his hand as you watch his eyes seem to lose focus, “I like you too.” He is silent for several long moments until he starts blinking rapidly, “Huh!?” The look of utter surprise on his face causes you to burst out laughing.
“Wait, wait, wait you’re serious?” He grabs your arm as a grin slowly starts to creep onto his face. “Sure am.” And as you meet his gaze you realise that his grin actually reached his eyes, for the first time in a long while.
“So, you gonna kiss me now or what?” You tease as his face shines a dark red. “W-well I, uh-“ His stuttering only allows for you to sneak closer and press a firm kiss to his cheek. Somehow, he grows even redder and you sigh pleasantly. “My heart definitely made the right choice with you Ranboo.”
Meanwhile Ranboo is too busy freaking out over the fact that you weren’t even meant to find out he liked you until you were stargazing together later tonight. His plans are utterly ruined! But as you squeeze his hand again to bring his thoughts back into the present, he wonders that perhaps spontaneity isn’t such a bad thing sometimes.
~My ask box is always open if you’ve got any requests or just want to vent about the dreamsmp lore!~
#mcyt#ranboo#x reader#ranboo x reader#fluff headcanons#mcyt x reader#confession headcanons#mcyt imagines#mcyt headcanons
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Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Laito Maniac [Prologue]
ー The scene starts in the living room of the Tsukinami Manor
Carla: ーー I doubt I need to remind you, but we are keeping an eye on you two at all times.
If you try anything funny, or fail to carry out the plan on time.
My Familiars will have no mercy ripping both you and that woman apart as per my command.
Laito: Yeah, yeah, you don’t need to tell me a million times.
I thought you said yourself that I’m not an idiot, remember?
Carla: That is exactly why.
Laito: Eh?
Carla: Fools do not even think. However, you are different.
In other words, I realize that there is always the possibility that you will change your mind.
Laito: ...Hmー Well, thank you for the compliment. Although I think you might just be giving me a bit too much credit.
ーー Shall we get going, Bitch-chan?
Yui: Yeah...
( Is this really the best decision...? )
*TIMESKIP*
Shin: Nii-san, why didn’t you have him leave the woman behind with us?
Didn’t we need her as a hostage?
Carla: He is serious.
Shin: ...Aren’t you putting a little too much faith in him?
Carla: Think about what might happen after he kills Karlheinz...
Shin: ...
Carla: That woman might be our way to put a stop to it then. (1)
Shin: I see...
Carla: Either way, the Familiars are keeping a watch on them.
If an unforeseen situation arises, we can easily deal with it.
Shin: I trust you. However, I’ll head to the Demon World as well, just in case.
You should return to Banmaden, okay?
Carla: Yes, very well.
Shin: Well then, I’ll move with haste. I’ll lend you a few Familiars just in case something happens.
Carla: ...
ー The scene shifts to the forest in the Demon World
Laito: I didn’t think we’d find ourselves coming here, out of all places...
Yui: Laito-kun, where are we...?
Laito: It’s Richter’s castle.
Yui: Richter...He’s you guys’ uncle, right?
( If I recall correctly, he’s Karlheinz-san’s younger brother... )
Why would Carla and Shin tell us to come here...?
Laito: I assume that he’s working with the two of them.
He absolutely loathes that man after all.
Yui: Right...
Laito: My family is a mess, don’t you think? Fufufu.
Well, no point in standing here talking forever. I’m not too thrilled about this, but I guess we should head inside?
ー They enter the manor
Richter: ーー Welcome to my castle.
Laito: Thank you for having us, Uncle.
Yui: Pardon the intrusion...
Richter: I heard you will be staying for a while. You haven’t been in the Demon World for quite some time, haven’t you? Take it easy.
Laito: Heeh. You’re being rather kind.
Richter: I’m generous towards those who share the same objective as me.
Yui: ...
( Objective...Does that mean he’s out to kill Karlheinz-san as well...? )
Laito: Oh geez~ You gave me goosebumps just now. Please don’t get the wrong idea.
I’ll kill him for my sake, you know? Not for yours, or for that woman’s.
Richter: Do not refer to your own mother as ‘that woman’!
Laito: Fufufu, my ‘mother’, huh? I’m not quite sure when she ever acted as one though.
Yui: L-Laito-kun!
Laito: Ah, sorry, sorry! I can’t help myself in front of this guy, you see?
Richter: I’ve heard enough. Get to your room.
Laito: Good idea. That’d probably be best for both of us...
Let’s go, Bitch-chan.
Yui: Yeah...
Laito: ーー Aah, there’s one thing I forgot to ask.
Richter: ...What?
Laito: Are you sure you don’t want to do it yourself?
Richter: Do what?
Laito: You hate him, don’t you?
Richter: ...One cannot kill a fellow Vampire out of hatred. You know so as well, don’t you?
Laito: I see. You’re scared, huh?
Richter: ...!!
Laito: Sorry, sorry~ Slip of the tongue, you see?
Yui: ( Haah... Will things be okay like this...? )
ー The scene shifts to the bedroom
Yui: ...Laito-kun. Richter-san is letting us stay at his house, so you shouldn’t provoke him like that.
Laito: Haah, I’m sorry, okay? I just end up recalling memories I’d rather forget when I see him...
Yui: ( ...Laito-kun... )
However, I’m worried the two of you will get into a fight.
Laito: You’re right. I should have just punched him across the face instead of beating around the bush.
Yui: Y-You can’t...!
Laito: Ahー ...My bad. I honestly just got irritated...
I wonder if it’s because of the lunar eclipse? That woman’s face keeps on flickering through my mind...
Yui: I see...
ー She embraces him
Laito: Bitch-chan...?
Yui: ( I wrapped my arms around him without thinking... )
I was hoping I could soothe your anger even just a little.
Laito: ...If anything, it has triggered a little something inside of me...Nfu~
Yui: ...!?
*Thud*
On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.
“You really are a ‘Bitch-chan’, pulling me into a hug like that.”
“Say...You don’t mind, do you? Of course you don’t. I ‘love’ you after all...”
Laito: Woah there, you’re not getting away~
*Rustle*
Yui: Kyah!
Laito: You’re the one who enticed me, so you can’t back out now.
Yui: B-But...Right now is...
Laito: Nfu~ Is that a no? But just look at how much I love you...
Yui: ...!!
Laito: I want your blood. Right now...Please...?
*Rustle rustle*
Yui: Laito-kun, sto...
Laito: Bitch-chan...I love you...
Yui: ( This ‘I love you’ is different...He’s only saying it to silence me. )
( Just when I thought we were finally on the same page. )
( I don’t want him to take out his frustrations on me like this... )
*Rustle rustle*
Yui: Stopーー
Laito: Don’t・want・to!
*Rustle rustle*
Yui: ...! I’m serious, cut it out!
*THUD*
Laito: Wawah...!!
Yui: Ah...!!
( Oh no...I pushed him a little too hard by accident... )
I-I’m sorry, I acted on instinct...
Laito: ...
Yui: A-Are you alright?
Laito: Haah...I’m the one who should apologize.
It’d be fine if you were just pretending to dislike it as part of the fetish, but you were serious just now, weren’t you?
Yui: I...I truly am sorry...
Laito: Don’t sweat it. More importantly, why did you oppose me that strongly?
You have a reason, don’t you?
Yui: Well...
Laito: Tell me.
Yui: ...To me, it appears as if you’ve become desperate.
Laito: Desperate...? In regard to what?
Yui: Well...Yourself...
Laito: I see...
I see...That’s how it comes across, huh? Is that why you refused me?
Yui: I don’t want you to try and cover up a serious matter...By acting like your usual self.
Laito: I’m not covering anything up. Besides, what do you mean with ‘a serious matter’?
Yui: T-The thing about Karlheinz-san. Are you actually...going to kill him?
Laito: Good grief, you’re saying that now as well?
While it may come across as overly desperate because I decided it on the spot.
However, I’m calm. I will kill him because that’s what I want to do.
Yui: Uu...
Laito: There’s nothing desperate about it.
Yui: You’re lying...
Laito: ...I’m not.
Yui: I can tell...That you’re afraid of losing me...
That’s why you’re willingly going to face Karlheinz-san...
You’re hoping that...You’ll lose your life in the process, don’t you?
Because that’d be easier on you...
Because it’d liberate you from your suffering...
Laito: ...
Yui: That’s exactly why I’m saying you’ve become desperate...!
Don’t run away, Laito-kun...!
Laito: Haah...I’ve lost my touch.
Yui: ...
Laito: I didn’t think you’d ever be able to read me so well...
Yui: Laito-kun...
Laito: Bitch-chan, you see...I just want everything to end.
I don’t want to lose another person I hold dear.
Yui: ...Uu...
Laito: Of course, I won’t deny that the love I felt for that woman was nothing but lies and fables, that didn’t get rid of the sense of loss I felt when she passed.
I’m terrified...of experiencing that same feeling again.
The reality that one day you will pass and leave me behind by myself...It scares me.
Yui: Is that why you say you want to die...?
Laito: Exactly. I’m weak. Because I know that,
I’ve always lived in denial of love, never letting myself grow attached to anything or anyone.
...I figured it’d be easier on me...If I never had loved ones to begin with. I wouldn’t have found myself in this current situation either.
However, then you were thrown at me.
I’m stuck in your thorns... (2)
Yui: ...Laito-kun...
Laito: I wonder if I should just kill you instead...?
By doing so...I might be able to escape this fear...?
Aah, but when I think about what will happen to me by doing so, I feel like I’m about to go crazy.
I don’t want to lose you...Yet I’m contemplating killing you myself...
I realize it’s contradicting, but that’s just how much I feel driven up a wall.
Of course, I realize you might not understand as the one who would leave me behind...
ー He embraces her
*Rustle*
Yui: ...What should I do?
Laito: You don’t need to do anything. This is my issue, remember?
Everything will be resolved once I’m gone. If I die...No, I want to die.
Yui: Don’t say that...
Besides, I don’t want you to die. What will happen to me...? I’ll be left behind as well, you know...?
Laito: ...
Yui: ( Why won’t he answer my question...? )
You’re being selfish...
Laito: Yeah, you’re right.
Yui: ...I would never leave you though...
Laito: Fufu...
Yui: Why do you laugh?
Laito: I mean, that’s...Right.
ーー You liar...
Yui: Uu...
Laito: Fufufu...
Yui: ( Why would he say that...? )
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
Translation notes
(1) Carla says that Yui might become a ‘checkmate’. I’m not 100% certain on what is meant with this line, but perhaps Carla knows that Laito could inherit Karlheinz’ powers upon killing him and plans to use Yui as a back-up plan then.
(2) I found this line to be quite tricky. Literally he says that he can no longer escape the ‘thorn’ (いばら) being Yui/the MC.
→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!
<- [ Dark Epilogue ] [ Maniac 01 ] ->
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can u do some oikawa or bokuto getting kinkyyyy in public like in the bleachers or smth 🥴🥴🥴
I’m sorry it took a while to post these, i’ve been setting up a haikyuu discord server so we can all thirst together so i’ve been slacking on requests :( but i really hope you enjoy them! ALSO I DID OIKAWA AND BOKUTO BECAUSE I COULDN’T DECIDE >.<
Public sex Headcanons - Oikawa and Bokuto
Warning: 18+, smut, public sex(duh) and a little bit of degradation.
Oikawa
- He’s had the whole thing planned since you’d agreed to come to the game with him. You’ve usually been pretty open to trying new things with him but he knew that if he’d warned you about his plan you would’ve chickened out.
- So when you’re sat at the back of the bleachers looking down at a particularly boring match and his hand find its way beneath your skirt, you couldn’t help but tense up and look at him with wide eyes.
- “What do you think you’re doing?” You’ll hiss at him but he’s just going to carry on watching the match as if his fingers weren’t caressing your inner thigh and inching dangerously close to your core.
- Fucking tease.
- Your eyes would be darting around checking to see if anyone had noticed what was happening but he’d chosen a secluded spot right at the back so the nearest people were at least 5 rows in front. It’ll click in your mind then that he’d planned this.
- “ Tōru , this isn’t funny, someone coul-“ you won’t get to finish your sentence before two of his slender fingers easily move your panties to the side and slip between your folds, sliding into you with ease.
- “Someone could see, huh?” You wanted to wipe the shit eating grin off his face. “If you were so worried about that then why are you already so fucking wet for me when I’ve barely even touched you? I think you love the risk of being caught, don’t you, you slut?”
- His words would have you shuffling in your seat as his fingers pick up their pace, his thumb now circling your clit, making that familiar ache build in the pit of your stomach.
- Gripping his thigh and digging your nails in won’t dissuade him, he’ll just continue to watch you from the corner of his eye with a smirk. He loves seeing you squirm.
- “T-tooru, I’m g-going to...I’m gonna...cum.” The words were almost incoherent, but he knew what you meant.
- “Ah ah ah, we can’t have that now, can we? You wouldn’t want to do something as dirty as cum all over my fingers in a public place now, would you?” He’ll pull his fingers out like the fucking tease he is, leaving you empty and unsatisfied.
- Annoyed and flustered, you’d get up and go to make your way past your idiot boyfriend but before you could get around him, he’s pulling you down into his lap, one arm firmly around your waist, securing you to him.
- “Don’t make a sound, don’t move unless I tell you to and don’t close your eyes. If you do any of those things I’m going to bend you over that seat in front of us and fuck your sopping little cunt right here for the whole gym to see, do you understand, sweetheart?”
- You wouldn’t even be able to process what was happening before for he growls “Answer me.” as his hand palms your ass. The only thing you could do was nod.
- That’s all he needed. In seconds he’s lifting you up ever so slightly so he can free his cock from the confines of his trousers, before pulling your panties to the side and easing you down onto his throbbing length.
- His cock isn’t the longest but his girth makes up for it, stretching you in the most delicious way possible.
- Your eyes would almost roll into the back of your head at the feel of him filling you but you couldn’t risk them closing, though the thought of him fucking you in front of a large group of people as they watched does spike your arousal.
- Your pussy is going to be clenching around his cock so tightly that he knows it won’t take much for either of you to find your release.
- “God, your cunt feels fucking amazing wrapped around me like that,” he’ll whisper in your ear, “but let’s get those hips of yours moving so I can fill you up with my cum.”
- Then his hands are on your hips, moving you back and forth against his cock as your nails bite into your palms.
- “That’s it, I can feel how close you are. Cum for me, cum all over my cock while we’re surround by all these people, you dirty little slut.”
- Then you’re both coming undone, you almost biting through your bottom lip in an attempt to stay silent while his hands have a death drip on your hips.
- “Fuck, you’re such a good girl. Now let’s get out of here, we wouldn’t want my cum dripping out of you and ruining these seats now, would we?”
- Make no mistake, as soon as you get home he’s going to absolutely destroy you.
----------------------xxxxxx--------------------
Bokuto
- Bokuto has never really thought about fucking you in a public setting before, but seeing you in a skimpy swimsuit for the first time as you slowly test the water of one of the tide pools at the far end of the beach is too much temptation for him to resist. As lust begins to take over, it’s almost like he becomes a completely different person.
- He’ll watch as you lower yourself into the crystal blue water, slowly submerging yourself until your feet hit the rocky bottom. Luckily the water just comes up to your chest so you’re still able to lean your arms on the side of the smooth rock as some of the boys begin a new match on the sand a little further up the beach from you.
- Bokuto’s going to use the fact you’re distracted by the game to silently slip into the far side of the pool before dipping under the water and making his way towards you, fully submerged.
- When he surfaces he’ll put a hand over your mouth and his other around your waist, pulling your body flush against his in a flash.
- As you start to struggle his breath is going to brush against your neck before his familiar chuckle finds your ears.
- “Easy now, little bird, it’s just me.” He’ll say before removing his hand and pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder, causing you to shiver against him.
- ‘Little bird’ is only something he calls you when it comes to sex so you immediately know something’s going on.
- The hand that was covering your mouth will snake down the front of your body, making it’s way between your supple thighs that he loves burying his face between.
- When you tense up he just smirks against your skin, his breath fanning against your neck.
- “What are you playing at, Kou?”
- Another chuckle. “Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to just slip these to the side” his fingers trace the fabric covering your now throbbing cunt, “and take you right here and now, while our friends are just over there?”
- He’ll grind his hardened cock against your ass as he says it, causing you to arch into him, your head falling against his shoulder.
- He’ll use that to his advance and cover your lips with his own.
- And you know he’s going to take that moment of distraction to hook his fingers into the material of your swim suit and tug it to the side so he push the entire length of his cock into you in one quick thrust.
- It’s a good thing his mouth is covering yours because the feel of him stretching your walls is going to have you moaning against his lips.
- “Geez, would you guys get a room, you look like you’re about to fuck!” Someone who sounds suspiciously like Kuroo, calls from the direction of where the teams were playing, but the only thing you could focus on is the slow rock of your boyfriends hips against your backside.
- You should be embarrassed, maybe even ashamed that your boyfriend is about to fuck you while your friends aren’t even 10 meters away from you, but the risk of being caught is only making you that much more turned on.
- “You better say something to him before they come over here and investigate, little bird or they’re going to see what a cock hungry little devil you are.” He’ll whisper in your ear, his cock continuing to throb inside of you.
- From where the boys are positioned it would just look as though Bokuto was innocently cuddling you and being a doting boyfriend, but if they came any closer they’d see that beneath the surface of the water he was buried inside you as his hand made lazy circles around your clit.
- “~ahh, umm-fuck you, rooster boy. You’re just j-jealous because i’d be getting some.” Yeah your voice isn’t going to be stable as you say it but luckily Kuroo doesn’t question it and returns to the game.
- “Mmm, that’s a good little bird.” He’s got your fingers gripping at the rocks in front of you as your orgasm starts to build faster, his hips trapping yours against the hard surface in front of you as he slides his cock into you over and over again.
- “Fuck, Kou. You feel so fucking good, I’m close.” You’d whisper, knowing he’s a sucker when it comes to being praised.
- Even though it’s not the usual crazy sex that you’ve grown accustomed to with Bokuto, the slow build up of your orgasm has you covering your mouth as it finally washes over your body.
- Within seconds you’ll feel him release inside of you as your walls clench around him, filling you with his hot cum and his arms tighten around you.
- “Holy fuck, y/n. That was...so hot. I can’t believe we just did that.” Immediately he’s back to his usual self.
- He’s going to spend the rest of the day walking round with some extra bounce in his step and he’ll probably even blush whenever he looks your way. He really can’t believe he did that.
-------------------x-----------------
Ngl I’m not 100% happy with them but then again I never am 😂 I hope you liked them! If you have a request, feel free to send it in! ^.^
#Anon#ask#answered#bokuto#haikyuu#hq#my writing#haikyuu headcanons#bokuto x reader#oikawa x reader#bokuto headcanon#oikawa headcanons#haikyuu imagine#oikawa tooru#bokuto koutarou#oikawa#bokuto imagine#haikyuu smut#bokuto smut#oikawa smut#oikawa imagine#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu blurbs#haikyu!!#aoba jōsai#fukorodani#vixenscribbles
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A (short) pantser outlining guide
The Backstory
When I started writing, and researching how to write, I was bombarded with tons of extensive guides about how to plan your novel, your characters, your plot and basically everything about a book.
I even came across some blogs that made 100 questions for your characters, world, etc. that you absolutely have to know before starting writing your book.
These lists are made to help writers, so I believed that if I didn't do them, if I didn't prepared myself like, apparently, other writers did, I was set up for failure before even beginning to write.
But the truth is, we are all different and what works for others may not work for you. I'm 100% a pantser and planning kind of kills my creativity. I like not knowing where the story is going and having a vague idea about what I'm going to write.
But I wasn't finishing any stories this way, so I thought I was doing something wrong.
I tried to follow a couple of outlines, but they all felt excessive and very strict to me, specially the ones that have a set of chapters already. I could never filled them completely and if I can't even finish my outline, how the hell was I going to finish my book?
It was discouraging and I procrastinated writing a lot, to the point of barely writing anything at all, and when I did write, my inner critic destroyed every word I typed.
And then, one day out of the blue. I decided that I was going to write.
Just write.
No outlines, no plan, just my laptop, a Wi-Fi connection and a 32 oz bottle of water. I managed to write 26k words in a span of a month and, most important of all, I had fun writing them.
When you're starting out, it's important to try different methods of writing and don't be afraid to even create your own! Ignore every single guide out there or follow them to a t! Discovering your writing process is just the first step of becoming a writer and the less restrictive, have fun with it!
My Writing Process
Disclaimer: This is my writing process, is nowhere near professional or backed up by research, it's just what works for me.
Before Outlining
Get an idea.
Daydream about it.
Make a document titled "The Brain dump"
This takes off a lot of pressure during the firsts writing sessions as opposite naming the document Zero or First draft. The Brain dump is just exactly that, a space to write (badly) my book, because nothing in the brain dump is set in stone.
I write the opening scenes that first popped in my head and go from there until I don't know what else to write.
This could also count as a brainstorming process but instead of simple bullet points I try to expand as much as I can of the story. This also helps me to find the main character's voice and little details such as where they live, how do they feel about their relationships, neighbors, politics views, etc.
My outlining process
When I have written enough to know where the story is going I like dividing it into chapters instead of worrying of having every element of a novel just yet. Plot holes are a second draft's problem.
This is the scheme I follow:
Chapter (#) - (Tittle)
Plot event
How characters feel about it/ how does it affect them
Introduction to (New character/information [if any] ) and what they bring to the story
Summarize the scene(s) in one sentence.
How the character act about it/them.
The results of their actions
Did it created a new obstacle for them?
Do they need to change their plan / goals?
How are the relationships affected?
Main character
Antagonist
Minor character
New Place
As every writing advice, take this as a grain of salt, incorporate what works for you and discard the rest!
What's your writing process? Is it unique? Tell us about it!
Masterlist
#writing#writing process#writeblr#writeblr advice#pantser#outline#outlining#writers of tumblr#writers block#writing advice#Writing tips#vividly creative#Vividly blogs#nano#nanowrimo#plot#wip#wips#work in progress
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Chastity Tips by Candi Jane
These tips are coming from the perspective of a sissy(me😀), these things still help without the sissy element.
I have been hearing sissys keep saying that you want to do long term chastity, but are too weak. I am hearing about how you want to feel helplessly desperate and horny. But as you get too horny and before you reach helplessly desperate you grab the key, unlock your little clitty, and jerk off. Then you have to start the process all over. Ideally you would have a keyholder, someone that forces you to keep honest, but most of us are not fortunate enough to have one. So here are some things that may help. Notice how I always use the plural for keys? Chastity devices come with more than one key, so make sure you are keeping them all together😁
Mail your keys to yourself:
Pretty self explanatory, take a self-addressed envelope, put a stamp on it, seal your keys in the envelope and mail it away. This is a great one to get the keys completely out of your possession and away from you for a period of time.
Though I recommend at least using your real address so the keys get back to you 😜
Depending on how the mail runs in your area this could be a 2-5 day event, for the cost of an envelope and a forever stamp. If you mail it on Saturday night after pickup, the mail will not get picked up until as early as Monday, so that is an extra 36 hours. There are also holidays to consider in which the mail doesn’t run, so if you mailed your keys after pickup on Saturday of Labor Day weekend, the earliest the mail will pick up your keys will be Tuesday. By that point you will have already had almost 3 days of chastity, add that to how well the mail is in your area, you may end up in a week in chastity! That is not even mentioning mailing during the holiday season when the mail is at its busiest, at that point you may be hoping that the keys did not get lost in the mail 😬 Which is one downside to consider when mailing. How well do you trust your postal service? Sometimes things do get lost in the mail 🤷♀️
Freezing your keys:
This one does require you to have a fridge/freezer that you can use to freeze your keys. This one is a bit difficult to do if you share your fridge/freezer. Unlike mailing the keys to yourself, the keys will be with you, so there does require a little bit more restraint, but this can be a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun experimenting with this one, a proper sissy school girl doing proper sissy science 😚 So first and foremost don’t do what I did first and use a glass bottle. I first tried putting the keys in an old glass liquor bottle. That was a horrible idea
DO NOT USE A GLASS CONTAINER
As I learned, as water freezes it freezes from the outside in and expands which makes the frozen water less dense than the liquid water which is why ice floats. I also learned that it is a really strong force and will break the glass, as I learned when the bottle neck broke in my hand and crashed to the floor 😨 I was not injured😅
So next I used a plastic gallon jug, which has a couple of pluses. First and foremost it will not break into harmful pieces(at worst crack open), and second a gallon is more than twice as large of volume as the normal 1.75L that the large liquor bottle has (3.785 liters = 1 gallon) so it will take longer to defrost. Second mistake I made was dropping the keys in the bottom to freeze.
As everything melts from the outside in, this would be the first to defrost and makes the size of the container mostly obsolete. Solution: I tied the keys to a string, lowered it down until it was halfway in the container and taped the string to the jug.
Do not fill it to the top, remember water expands as it freezes so be sure to give it room. Freezing takes about 24 hours. I recommend checking in on it periodically, because ice freezes from the outside in and you will see your keys floating surrounded by its ice prison, and if needed you can add more water.
The first time I froze the keys in the gallon jug(keys at the bottom), I checked how long it took to defrost at 74F in the shade, and it took less than 8 hours. Those that are familiar with cooking meats, know that ideally you wouldn’t defrost at room temperature, but allow it to defrost in the refrigerator. After 24 hours of freezing I put the jug in the refrigerator. Following times are based on my fridge being set at the factory recommended coolness.
After a day the water on the outside has melted, so if my keys were at the bottom I would be able to pour them out at this point.
After 3 days the ice has defrosted enough in which I can now start to see the keys trapped in its frozen prison
Every day I see a bit more ice thawed, slowly and slowly seeing my keys becoming closer and closer to freedom
Finally after 7 days I see my keys floating freely in liquid water
Only one problem
The ice above is not thawed enough to let me pull the string out 😫 So I put it back in the fridge, and five hours later my keys were free!
From freezing to thawing was just over 8 days of chastity.
So the numbers I have for a gallon jug of water is: freezing - 1 day, thawing at 74F in shade ~ 8 hours, thawing in the fridge ~ 173 hours.
During this time you can start focusing on doing important things. At the longest it is 8 days, and that is plenty of time to accomplish things. Many sissys have maid fantasies, well use that time to clean your home, not just a little clean, but really deep clean your house(bonus if you have a uniform). Imagine your mistress/master will be inspecting it later. Ask yourself, “Would I want to serve someone that accepts this kind of work?” or “If I paid a couple hundred dollars for cleaning service, would I be satisfied?” whichever🙃 As you are locked up and cannot jerk off, you can start practicing on your blowjob and anal skills. Use this time to learn to deep throat, or work towards that ever elusive sissygasm. Set goals at the beginning of things that should be done by the time the keys are defrosted.
Because the keys take 8 hours to defrost at room temperature, certain tasks can equal x amount of time out of the fridge. Such as if you are practicing your deep throat skills, every time your nose touches the wall/floor equals five minutes out of the fridge. 8 hours would be roughly 100 times, or even for every second your nose to the wall/floor is five minutes. That gives over a minute and a half total of your throat being filled 😄 Cleaning your home can work in similar point systems too. Each chore is x amount of points, some may be more than others, as cleaning the bathroom takes a lot more than doing laundry(unless you are washing by hand). They don’t have to be sissy/sub tasks. You can make some of them for your better wellbeing. Such as, maybe you are someone that needs some motivation to get in shape. Have each mile jogged/walked/run can equal half an hour. Or can go simple and for the amount of time you spent working out is the amount of time spent out of the fridge. The plus side is you can work on your sissy figure and improve your regular quality of life 😁 These goals can really be for anything that you may need to work better on yourself, like reading more(yes I am talking to you), learn/practice a new language, learn/practice an instrument, even things that will help improve your career(insert your own examples lol). These are only a few examples. But make some tasks/goal(what needs to be accomplished) and rules(the rewards of completing a task and punishment for failing). Simple punishment is it goes back in the freezer. Remember to make sure your tasks/goals are realistic, and don’t try to tackle too many things at once. So often people get this huge motivation and think of all of these things they are going to do, but then when things aren’t working out the way they planned they give up. Schedules get made and when we can’t maintain them we give up. That is how those 10 dollar gyms are successful, their pay plan only works when the majority rarely/never show up. So if you set a really high goal that is unrealistic, say from never exploring anal to wanting to take Captain Ameica’s cock(see Chris Even’s cock) in that time period, maybe unrealstic. Or spending an hour a day working on your blowjob skills. Or the working out goal, you plan to run 2 miles every day, or every other day. That sounds great in theory, but if we fail to meet it we have a tendency to give up. You start out good for a day or two, then on day three you make an excuse on why you cannot and by day 5 you feel your goal is too far out of reach and give up. If that is the case, then adjust your goal and the tasks along with it, the first one may have been too ambitious. So if your goal/task is too difficult, instead of giving up on it, adjust it. Maybe I should be a Sissy Life Coach lol 🙃 Make the goals realistic, try to better yourself as either a sissy or even in your regular life. These are just some of my ideas on this.
I say this as doing this by yourself, but this is something that can be done in a keyholder relationship. And the keyholder can devise the tasks that serve them best.
Freewill:
Now freezing does take some freewill, there are plenty of ways to cheat, and get around things. It isn’t instant, but still freewill is required. Freewill doesn’t require you to freeze or mail or anything. So this last tip I have is: try to get better than the last time. I say this over and over, but remember baby steps. I did not go from buying my first chastity to 60+ 24/7 consecutive days. It took time and practice. I went an hour, then maybe two hours. If I got too horny or it got too painful, I would take it off. The next time I would try to go longer. My first attempt to sleep in chastity I gave up not even halfway through the night, it became too uncomfortable. I worked my way from there, now I prefer to sleep in chastity. So each time try to get better than the last, and if you fail, unlock and jerk off, or if you complete the time and are rewarded with unlocking yourself, well that’s a perfect time to work on becoming a cum eater 😛(again baby steps). If you always lose the urge after, then try to push yourself to at least bring some of it to your face, after that push yourself to taste just a little, and then go from there until you are eating it all 🤤 It may take some months but keep working at it😀
Have fun and drink cum ❤❤❤
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Eclipse, Chapter 2 (Ethan X MC)
Description: Five years after the birth of their unexpected twins, Ethan and Olivia are expecting their third child. Even if they planned the pregnancy this time around, they learn that not everything goes as planned.
Rating: PG-13
Preview: Ethan’s hand brushed against her warm forehead. “You’re not nauseous from the pregnancy. Zoey and Jonah are both sick. They’re throwing up and have temperatures of 100 and 100.2.”
Olivia sighed. “I should’ve thought of that. The stomach bug is going through their school. They can sleep in here if they want to. You should sleep somewhere else so we don’t give you the plague.”
Ethan shook his head. “I haven’t had a stomach virus since I was ten.”
“Oh, yeah. You’re the Dr. Infallible Ramsey, immune to all human ailments. You have a golden immune system.”
Previous Chapter
On Sunday afternoon, Ethan read a book on the couch while the kids played and Olivia was out for lunch with Sienna. He looked up when he heard footsteps and saw Jonah and Zoey walking into the living room, both wearing their little lab coats and carrying their toy doctor’s kit.
“Daddy, can you play with us?”
Ethan set his book aside and nodded. “Sure.”
“What are your symptoms, Daddy?” Zoey grabbed a stethoscope, one of Ethan’s old ones, and knelt next to him on the couch. She touched the stethoscope to his chest and listened.
Playing along, Ethan pressed his lips in thought. “I have a terrible headache. Can you take care of it?”
“Yep! Jonah, get the Band-Aids!”
Jonah grabbed a box of bandages from their bag. “Got em!”
Zoey dug a Cookie Monster Band-Aid out of the box and unwrapped it. She stuck it to Ethan’s forehead and nodded in approval. “Okay. We’re done with you.”
Ethan feigned a frown. “A Band-Aid for a headache? Don’t you think you should be more thorough?”
“It’s a Cookie Monster Band-Aid,” Zoey supplied, shaking her head as she put the package back in their bag.
Jonah wrote some numbers on a piece of construction paper. With a mischievous smile, he handed it to his father. “Here’s your bill! That’s gonna be two hundred eleven dollars and… eight cents.”
“Did you even try to bill my insurance?”
“We don’t do that here!”
Ethan arched a brow. “I think this clinic is corrupt. I come in with a severe headache and I don’t even get an MRI?”
“Nope,” Jonah responded, trying to contain a laugh.
“Hmm. Why should I pay this bill?”
Zoey shrugged. “Okay, then. If you don’t pay, you can’t keep the Band-Aid.” With a giggle, she peeled the bandage off his forehead and tossed it aside.
“I think I’d like to see your medical licenses.”
Jonah shook his head. “I lost mine!”
“And you’re still practicing?”
“I’m just the bill person now.” Jonah shrugged. “I get to be the doctor next.”
Zoey handed him another sheet of construction paper with her name scrawled on it. “See? It says Doctor Zoey Ramsey on it!”
“Hmm. I still think this is medical negligence.”
Both kids laughed. Jonah took the stethoscope from his sister and leaned against Ethan’s knee. “Alright, I’m the doctor now. Make up a new sickness.”
When the front door opened, the twins looked up and waved. “Hi, Mommy!”
“Hi there. What’s going on in here?”
Jonah held up their doctor’s kit. “Medical negligence!”
“You can’t have a fun Sunday afternoon without that.”
“How was your lunch?” Ethan asked as she sat down next to him.
“Good. The baby made me eat tacos. We’ll see if they make a reappearance later. So far, I’ve only violently puked three times this pregnancy.”
“Here you go!” Jonah opened the Band-Aid box and stuck a Big Bird one to her abdomen.
“Huh. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be amused or offended at the Big Bird implication.” Olivia ran her hand over her stomach when she felt a soft kick.
“Is our sister kicking?” Jonah asked.
“Uh huh.” Olivia took each of their hands and guided them to her stomach. “Feel it?”
“Yeah!” Zoey’s brow pinched in concentration. “It tickles my hand.”
“You two kicked a lot, but you didn’t start it until a little later. I’m pretty sure you were trying to kick each other.”
They laughed and picked up their toys before they left to play in their playroom. Olivia rested her feet on the table and leaned against Ethan, making herself comfortable.
“How are you feeling?”
“Alright. For now I just want to focus on controlling what I can. Even if she has to have a major heart surgery, we don’t have all the answers yet. Worrying 24/7 won’t change that.”
Ethan slipped his arm around her. “We’ll find out more at your next appointment.”
She nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. “Aside from being treated by five-year-old doctors, how was your day?”
He chuckled. “Uneventful. They asked for chicken tonight.”
“I agree with that.”
That evening, she helped Ethan fix dinner. Even though the chicken and potatoes looked and smelled mouth-watering, Olivia could feel the beginnings of nausea and she ate lightly to avoid unsettling her stomach.
Some time after they’d gone to bed, she awoke with an uncomfortable churning in her stomach. She grimaced and curled up on her side, willing the feeling to pass.
It didn’t, and she lurched out of bed when bile rose in her throat. She made it to their bathroom just in time and dropped to her knees in front of the toilet. A gag escaped her as she emptied the contents of her stomach.
Awoken by the noise, Ethan joined her in the bathroom. He held her hair back and rubbed her back with his other hand.
Olivia groaned. “I think I jinxed myself. Morning sickness just struck at one in the morning.”
“It happened like that last time. It’s not common for morning sickness to start in the second trimester, but it’s not unheard of.”
“It should be.” Olivia cringed and wiped at her mouth. She brushed her teeth to get the bitter taste out, then yawned and sleepily made her way back to bed. “Can you get me some water?”
Ethan retrieved a bottle of water from the kitchen and took it to Olivia. “Here. Keep yourself hydrated.”
Olivia sipped slowly from the water and yawned. “I guess the baby decided she doesn’t like tacos. Or chicken and potatoes.”
In the hallway, a door swung open. Ethan heard footsteps darting into the hallway bathroom. He left their room to investigate and found Jonah hunched over the toilet, throwing up.
Uh oh.
Suspecting that they were in fact not dealing with morning sickness, Ethan followed his son into the bathroom. His expression softened when Jonah looked up with a sad frown. “Feeling bad?”
“Yeah…” Jonah made a face as he leaned over the toilet again. Ethan knelt next to him and pressed his hand to his forehead, finding it warm to the touch.
Zoey ran into the bathroom with her hands clasped over her mouth. Seeing her brother leaning over the toilet, she dropped to her knees and retched into the trash can. “Yuck…”
Ethan found the thermometer and checked their temperatures. They were elevated, but not badly, to his relief. “Let’s get back to bed.”
He picked them up and carried Jonah to his room first. He tucked him into bed and moved his trash can next to his bed in case he threw up again. “Here you go. I’m going to get your sister to bed, and then I’ll bring you something to drink.”
“Okay…”
Ethan repeated the process with Zoey and made sure both kids were settled before he returned to his bedroom.
Olivia emerged from the bathroom, her expression sour. “I thought I was empty, but apparently not.”
Ethan’s hand brushed against her warm forehead. “You’re not nauseous from the pregnancy. Zoey and Jonah are both sick. They’re throwing up and have temperatures of 100 and 100.2.”
Olivia sighed. “I should’ve thought of that. The stomach bug is going through their school. They can sleep in here if they want to. You should sleep somewhere else so we don’t give you the plague.”
Ethan shook his head. “I haven’t had a stomach virus since I was ten.”
“Oh, yeah. You’re the Dr. Infallible Ramsey, immune to all human ailments. You have a golden immune system.”
He shrugged. “Either way, I’ve already been exposed to all three of you. There’s not much point in isolating myself now.”
“Fair enough.”
Ethan left the room to check on the kids, finding them both awake and purely miserable. He carried them to their bedroom and set them down on the bed. They immediately ducked under the covers. When Ethan lay down, Zoey and Jonah snuggled in between their parents and closed their eyes.
“I think a king-sized bed was the right choice,” Olivia yawned, closing her eyes and pulling the covers up to her chin.
“Are we gonna have to take medicine?” At the thought, Zoey wrinkled her nose.
Ethan shook his head. “It wouldn’t help a stomach virus. All you can do is stay hydrated and try to rest as much as possible.”
“Okay. Are you gonna get sick, too?”
“No.”
“Daddy never gets sick,” Jonah reminded his sister.
Olivia snorted. “We’ll see if that theory is true in a few hours.”
By four in the morning, they had a pile of vomit-soiled clothes and sheets. Eventually, after a few hours and cups of ginger ale, they drifted off to sleep and slept through the early morning hours without waking up to throw up.
Despite the long night, Ethan’s internal alarm woke him moments before sunlight spilled through the window blinds. He stifled a yawn and gently untangled himself from Jonah’s arm thrown across his chest and Zoey’s leg draped across his stomach.
He gathered the pajamas and bedding and started the washing machine, then emptied all of the trash cans and put clean bags in them in case they had a round two of last night’s occurrences.
An hour later, Olivia yawned as she joined him in the living room. “Did you call in?”
“Mm hmm. For both of us, and I called the school.”
“I’m lucky to have someone who’s programmed to run off of two minutes of sleep. I refuse to wake up before the sun when I have a day off.”
“Habit. I try, but my brain isn’t wired to sleep in on days I’m used to going to work.”
Olivia nodded as she opened the fridge and poured a small glass of ginger ale. She took a tentative sip, drinking it slowly in case her stomach decided to expel that, too. “The kids are still out cold. None of us have thrown up for over three hours.”
“The worst of it is probably over.”
“Well, we did have a doctor who made a night-long house call,” she chuckled. “Even if it meant letting three contagious people sleep in his bed all night.”
Ethan laughed quietly. “Sounds like a good doctor.”
Zoey and Jonah shuffled into the kitchen, both yawning and wearing Ethan’s old tee shirts from Hopkins. They climbed into their seats at the table. Ethan didn’t want them to risk unsettling their stomachs again, so he gave them each a cup of Pedialyte and some toast to try.
He poured himself a cup of coffee and raised the mug to his lips. When the scent of freshly brewed coffee hit his senses, he paused. Normally the smell was inviting in the morning, but today it made him blanch.
Olivia gave him a curious glance. “You look like I did last night.”
“I think I feel that way, too.” Cringing, he set the mug down and poured a glass of ginger ale instead. He took a few sips, only to set it down moments later. Olivia followed him when he left the room and found him throwing up in their bathroom.
“I’d say I told you so, but I know that would be a little harsh right now,” she teased gently, laying her hand on his back.
Ethan winced in disgust and took a swig of mouthwash to get rid of the taste. “I suppose my ego had me convinced I wouldn’t get sick. I stand corrected.”
She squeezed his shoulder. “Well, I’m feeling better than I did last night, so I think I can manage Zoey and Jonah for now. They’ll probably just nap most of the day.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I am.” Taking over, Olivia gripped his shoulders and steered him toward the bed. She urged him to lie down and pulled the covers over him. “Let me get the kids settled in and I’ll be right back.”
“Alright.”
She made her way to their bedroom door and paused, glancing back at him with an accusatory frown. “Oh, and by the way…. I told you so.”
Next Chapter
Tags, part 1
@princess-geek / @lapisreviewsstuff / @msjpuddleduck / @silverlitskies / @paulfwesley / @dr-brianna-casey-valentine / @junehiratas / @choicesstanblog / @trappedinfandoms / @justanotherrookie / @bellcat2010 / @desmaranj / @lion-ess24 / @nooruleman / @caseyvalentineramsey / @xee-na / @edith-eggs1 / @oofchoices / @schnitzelbutterfingers / @tefigranger / @jlynn12273 / @laceandlula / @crazy-loca-blog / @somegdchoices / @sanchita012 / @forthebrokenheartedthings / @lilyvalentine / @parkerattano / @drramseysownsme / @misswhit12 / @drethanfreakingramsey / @juneiswriting / @macy-ray85 / @swimmingauthordreamerbonk // @myusualnerdyself / @siaramsey / @takemyopenheart / @queencarb
#open heart#ethan x mc#ethan ramsey#ethan ramsey x mc#tw: pregnancy complications#pregnancy complications tw
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You Bring Me Home—Chapter Eight: Don’t Worry Baby
a/n: hello hello!!! a massive apology for this one being so late it’s been such a hectic week for me, so I really appreciate your patience <3 Thank you for sticking around and for the continued love and support you have shown to this story. It really means the world to me :’) I hope you enjoy this chapter, feel free to chat with me afterwards, I’m intrigued to see where y’all think this story is going now👀 there is certainly much 2 think about... Much love, Mel <3
Pairing: Hawai’i!Harry x Original Character
Warnings: swearing
Word Count: 4.5k
catch up on parts one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven
The faint clanging of pots and pans, Freddie barking, and Pua’s laughter rouses Alani from her peaceful sleep. She sees nothing but pink as her eyes peel open and momentarily thinks that she’s gone blind, but her vision soon focuses on the vague outline of black ink. With a curious dent between her brows, she removes the sticky note pressed to her forehead and turns it over.
GOOD MORNING!
MAKING BREAKFAST DOWNSTAIRS. SEE YOU THERE :)
♡ H
Her mouth, still puffy with the touch of sleep, curls at the edges as she clutches the note to her chest. One hand slides over to the indentation left in her bed by Harry and it’s still warm, which means that he must not have been gone long. Alani climbs out of the covers and races to the top of the stairs where she can hear him and her sister having a playful exchange.
“I don’t think you put enough chocolate chips,”
“What do you mean? It’s about 90% chocolate right now,”
“So make it 100%,”
As she creeps down the stairs, she spots Pua perched on a swiveling chair at the kitchen island, Freddie snoozing in her lap, while Harry meticulously sprinkles chocolate chips into a bowl of pancake batter next to the stove. The scene makes Alani’s heart swell, so she silently observes for a moment before interrupting.
“Is this more to your liking, Your Majesty?”
“Much better. Even Freddie thinks so,”
“I thought dogs couldn’t have chocolate,”
“Must you question everything I say?”
“I think he’s right,” Alani confirms, stepping into the kitchen to tussle her sister’s hair and pet Freddie. Harry lights up at the sound of her voice and immediately sticks his cheek out for a kiss. She gives him a peck and accepts the chocolate chip that he holds to her lips, letting him have a taste as it dissolves on their tongues.
“Please, don’t stop on my account,” Pua grimaces.
The pair separate and Alani pokes her tongue out at her younger sister, making Harry chuckle beside her.
“Hey, no fighting,” he warns. “Or no one gets pancakes.”
“She started it!” both sisters defend in unison.
They share a laugh and dissolve into their own antics while Harry returns to the stove with a cheerful whistle. He methodically shapes the pancakes into hearts on the skillet, playfully swatting Alani’s hand away from the bag of chocolate every five minutes or so. Freddie waits patiently at Harry’s ankles during the entire cooking process, praying that the human will drop a scrap of food his way.
“Sorry, Mr. Mercury,” Harry apologizes, reaching down to give the dog a gentle pat. “These aren’t for you. Take it up with Mother Nature,”
Alani fills Freddie’s bowl to relieve Harry of his dog-sitting duties before hopping up onto the counter beside him. He slots himself between her legs, flashing a cheesy grin that makes her giggle, and her fingertips trace over the faint shadow of stubble around his jawline and above his lip.
“Can you grow a beard?”
“Do you want me to?”
Alani shrugs, considering the idea. “I was just wondering if you were capable,”
“Hey,” he pouts. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She smiles innocently, pinching his chin. “Nothing, I like the fresh face. But stubble’s kinda hot,”
“Noted,” Harry winks.
“I like spending my mornings with you,” Alani admits quietly. “And the whole chef thing you’ve got going on is definitely a perk,”
Harry’s dimple resurfaces and his emerald eyes gleam. “Me too, sweets. Did you like the note I left you?”
“Yes, it was a very nice touch,” Alani confesses, heart still soaring over the sentiment.
“Didn’t wanna wake you. Looked so peaceful drooling, hair all in your face—”
“—Hey!”
“Did you know that you kinda talk a little in your sleep?”
“I do not!”
Harry kisses the wrinkle in the middle of her forehead and it eases. “Do too. It’s cute, though.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Alani grumbles with a small, affectionate smile. “Let’s eat.”
Both Pua and Alani compliment Harry on the restaurant quality of his heart-shaped pancakes, and he accepts the praise with a bow that makes them both giggle. The three of them gather happily around the dining table, sharing jokes and analyses of each other’s dreams from the night before. Of particular interest is Pua’s dream about her teeth being replaced by kernels of candy corn, which Harry explains is a warning to cut down on the sugar before bed.
“You’re no fun,” Pua teases with her arms crossed. “Only had a pint of ice cream last night,”
Harry snickers. “As opposed to?”
“Alani, can you date a dairy farmer next time?”
“Hey!”
Alani rolls her eyes, but her smile reveals her true amusement. “Be nice,”
“Thought I was your ‘favorite singer,’” Harry sulks.
Pua’s eyes dart to her older sister. “You told him?!”
“What?” Alani asks innocently. “It was sweet,”
Harry’s brow furrows. “Why wasn’t I supposed to know that?”
“Cause you’ll get a big head,”
“Too late. I won your sister over, even though she’s way out of my league,”
“And don’t you forget it.” Pua cautions with a friendly tussle of his hair before standing with her empty plate.
Harry chuckles lightly. “I thought we were friends,”
“Sisters before misters,” Alani shrugs, grabbing his plate and utensils to put in a pile with her own. “So whatcha doin’ today?”
“Good question,” he ponders, tapping his chin. “Get dressed, we’re going out,”
“Where to?”
“It’s a surprise,”
“I don’t like surprises,”
“Tough,” Harry maintains. “And you’re a liar cos everyone likes good surprises,”
Alani traces a heart onto the back of his hand with her fingertip and sighs. “But I need to know what to dress for,”
“Dress for the perfect afternoon with your favorite guy,”
“James Marsden’s coming?”
Harry purses his lips and stands. “Alright, I’m leaving now,”
“I’m kidding!” Alani giggles, offering an apologetic kiss. “I’m sorry, sunshine. Please don’t go,”
“I wasn’t aware that James Marsden made you these pancakes,” Harry dodges her affection.
“Or that he had your face as his screensaver,”
“You do not!” Alani counters, eyes wide.
She gasps when he holds up his phone to reveal her unflattering selfie. “Why?!”
“Because you’re so cute, that’s why!” Harry explains with a delicate smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Even when you’re mean,”
Alani playfully swats his arm and pulls him closer by the pocket of his hoodie. “I’m sorry, ku’uipo. You’re the sweetest. Thank you for breakfast.”
“Welcome, dove,” he beams. “Now grab some clothes, we gotta stop by my place first.”
********
Alani slips on a pair of platform sandals and smoothes out her skirt while Harry pulls on a white t-shirt with a blue bandana secured around his neck. The polka dots on her yellow dress bring a fond crease to the corners of his eyes as he swipes a pair of black sunglasses from his dresser and pushes them into his unruly curls for the time being.
“Give us a twirl,” he requests, whistling when she obliges.
Alani spins into his arms and her hands smooth over the soft material of his burnt orange button up adorned with white lilies. “Digging the white tee, babe. How very James Dean of you.”
“Only the best for you, doll.” Harry shoots back in his best American accent.
As they make their way to the back of the house where the Cadillac is parked, he queues up a song that he hopes will bring a smile to Alani’s face. “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” begins playing as loud as his phone speakers will allow and he flashes a cheeky grin in her direction. “Bit of a theme song for you today,”
“You’re such a cheese ball,”
“Don’t act like you don’t love it,” he teases with a pinch of her thigh.
“Never said I didn’t,”
“Fair enough,”
“So, are you finally gonna tell me where we’re going now?” Alani asks, batting her eyelashes.
Harry shakes his head and tuts in mock disapproval. “Are you gonna try to ruin every surprise I plan for you?”
“I just wanna know what to expect!”
“You’ll like it, promise,”
“A hint?” she bargains. “An itsy bitsy, teenie weenie one?”
Harry captures his bottom lip between his teeth and thinks. “It’s for something in your room,”
“That’s all?” Alani blurts. “That could mean anything!”
“You said one hint and I delivered! So why don’t you just sit back and enjoy the ride now?” he suggests, laughing to himself when Alani crosses her arms with a huff.
The drive is scenic and the weather is especially nice, which explains why the beaches they pass are more crowded than usual. Alani checks “beach” off her list of possible locations, racking her brain for the items in her room that could have possibly caught Harry’s attention. She wonders if he noticed the various scented candles perched on her nightstand and dressing table, deciding that a candle shop probably isn’t likely. Momentarily, she recalls the pile of books on her desk and her mind flashes back to their conversation about one of their mutual favorite authors, Angela Avery. Getting warmer. Harry remains tight-lipped and merely offers a coy smile or a whistle each time Alani ventures a guess. But just when she started to believe she would wear him down, the two of them pull into the parking lot of Moku Records and draw her speculation to an end.
“Of course,” Alani surrenders, stepping out of the passenger door that Harry opens for her. “I should’ve known,”
“Came here my first week. The day after I met you, actually,” he explains bashfully.
Alani’s cheeks warm at the sentiment, and she laughs at the way he swings their joint hands softly as they cross the empty parking lot. Harry pulls the door open and she takes a curious step over the threshold, noting the hint of jasmine and sandalwood mixed in the air of the little shop. Her eyes immediately land on the A-B section first where she spots ABBA and The Beatles, and her fingers tenderly run over the cover art.
“Like a kid in a candy shop,” Harry observes fondly. “Pick out whatever you want,”
“Are you serious?” Alani asks, eyes wide.
He shrugs nonchalantly. “Course. Wanted to make a contribution to your collection,”
“I don’t know,” she smiles sheepishly. “I don’t want you spending a lot of money on me. I really appreciate the offer, though,”
“So what if you pick some out for me, too? Then we can think of it as compensation for your generous musical recommendations,” Harry puts forward.
“You make music for a living,” Alani scoffs. “What do you need my recommendations for?”
“What, you think musicians are born knowing every song that exists?”
“Okay, fine. Who can we credit for your music taste, then?”
Harry mulls it over for a second, a gentle hum vibrating in his Adam’s apple, before he responds. “My mum, mostly. Some friends—”
“—Any exes?” Alani fishes.
“Yeah,” he confirms shyly. “Some I guess. You?”
“Same, pretty much,”
“Right, well now you’ve gotta tell me where you picked up all of these albums ‘cause I don’t wanna be buying shit your ex-boyfriend introduced you to,” Harry teases to lighten the mood.
An amused exhale escapes from Alani’s nose and she shakes her head. “No, I meant your exes also inspired me,”
She holds up a record with the numbers “1989″ and a familiar blonde on the cover, and Harry shoots her an unamused look. “Okay, now you’re just being mean again,”
“Long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt,” Alani sings as he turns to walk away.
“Keep it up and you’re gonna be buying your own bloody records!”
“Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style,”
Harry gives her a sharp side-eye, but the faint curl of his lips betrays the intended message of his glare. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because it’s a good song,” Alani giggles. “And you’re just being a hater,”
“Thanks,”
Alani turns on her heel with Harry’s palm pressed firmly against hers, and continues to sort through the collection of vinyls. The two of them snake through the aisles and pull albums that they think the other person would enjoy. Harry grabs one from Wings that has been in his recent playlists while Alani explains that he absolutely must own the vinyl version of “AM” by the Arctic Monkeys. He picks out a Shania Twain and highlights the track “You’re Still the One,” which Alani counters with The Mamas and the Papas.
“Wait,” Alani stops, pulling another record excitedly. “You gotta have this one as a starter,”
Harry accepts the copy of Queen’s “A Day at the Races” and adds it to the growing pile. “A classic, of course,”
“And I already have its sister album, ‘A Night at the Opera,’ so we can share, ” she suggests, turning back to her browsing.
Harry’s phone rings and he shuffles the albums around in his arms before lifting it to his ear. “Hello?”
“Hey,” Jeff’s voice carries through the speaker. “Film crew’s here. Are you on your way?”
“Shit,” Harry curses, eyes shutting tight.
“You forgot?”
“I’ll be there as soon as possible,”
He had completely disregarded all of his previous plans in favor of spending every possible minute with Alani. One of those plans, however, was a mini documentary following the formation of his debut solo album which would start filming that day and continue over the course of the week.
“No worries,” Jeff continues. “Might wanna give Alani a heads up if you bring her, though.”
“Thanks, mate. See you soon.” Harry says before ending the call.
Alani had only been half listening, still admiring the artwork of the vinyl covers. “Everything okay?”
“Music thing I forgot about. Gotta go back to the house for a bit,”
“Okay,” she nods understandingly, though it pains her to do so. “So you can just drop me off at my house and we’ll hang tomorrow,”
“Tomorrow?” Harry repeats. “I can pick you up after work, it’ll just be for the afternoon,”
Alani shakes her head apologetically. “My dad’s picking me up on his way home from the airport. He’s getting back from his trip tonight and he’ll wanna see me and my sister,”
“Oh,” he relents, defeated. “Okay, so tomorrow morning?”
“Well, tomorrow afternoon. I work the morning shift,”
Harry groans. “Twenty-four hours?”
“We’ll be fine,” Alani chuckles, taking some of the records from his hands to lighten the load.
“Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that,”
“That’s a load of bollocks,”
“Bollocks? God you’re so British,”
“And you are so American,” Harry pouts over the sudden derailment of his romantic afternoon plans. “God, this sucks,”
Alani offers him a kiss to soothe the sting, which he accepts with a hum. “Majorly. But hey, what can you do? The music calls.”
They check out and she carries the bag on her hip, the temporary relief of retail therapy distracting her from the disappointment of their time cut short. Harry checks the time and calculates that he’ll be a little later than promised, but he’s more concerned with making every second with Alani count. There’s a bit of cloud coverage over his usual sunny disposition, so she tries her best to cheer him up by lifting their intertwined fingers and pressing gentle kisses to his knuckles.
“Thank you for the most perfect afternoon,” she murmurs against his skin.
“Wasn’t supposed to be over for a few more hours.”
“Every minute with my favorite guy is like heaven.” Alani admits, watching intently as his smile slowly returns.
********
“How’s California?”
“You know, it’s kinda growing on me. My nana and pops send their love,”
“Aw, miss them,” Alani smiles, shifting the phone to her other ear. She decided to spend her free afternoon catching up with her best friend still on the mainland, though her thoughts occasionally drifted back to Harry. “Any cute surfer boys?”
“Maybe one,” Maleah confides. “But it’s nothing serious,”
“And you’ve been holding out on me?” Alani gasps.
“His name’s Max, he’s a lifeguard,”
“I demand photos immediately,”
“Sure thing,” Maleah giggles sweetly. “Speaking of boytoys, where’s yours? I thought you two were attached at the lips at all times,”
Alani walks her toes up the wall, a soft grin easing onto her face when she spots the pink sticky note from earlier. She turns her head to Harry’s spot and takes a deep breath to soak in the lingering scent of vanilla.
“Working, kinda,”
Maleah frowns. “Doing what exactly?”
“Some music thing. I guess they’re filming a behind the scenes mini-film or something, I’m not entirely sure. Harry was kind of cryptic,”
“That’s weird,”
Alani sits up. “Do you think it sounds fishy?”
“No way. Mr. Perfect would never,” Maleah assures her. “But you know him best. What does your heart tell you?”
It hadn’t even crossed Alani’s mind that Harry might not be telling the truth, but for a brief, guilt ridden moment she considers it. She quickly closes that door after considering all the things he had already been so open about. “He would tell me if something was up,”
“Then there you go,” Maleah says decisively. “That’s good that you guys are so open. Communication is key as they say,”
“Yeah, absolutely. Mind if I gush for a second?”
“Of course not, spill!” Maleah urges her.
Alani recaps the events of the last couple of days, from the painting and the heart-shaped pancakes to the record store. The weight of Harry’s absence grows heavier with each passing minute until it forms a lump at the back of her throat, but she swallows it down.
“Wow,” Maleah swoons. “What planet did this guy come from, and are there more of him there?”
“Sometimes I think he’s too good to be true, like I made him up or something,”
“Can you make me one like that, too?”
Alani giggles. “What about Max?”
“Well hey, maybe we can all double date sometime,” her best friend suggests eagerly. “He’s kind of coming to visit when I go back home,”
“I thought you said it wasn’t serious?”
“Yeah, well, I just didn’t wanna jinx it,” Maleah explains shyly. “So whaddya say? Think Harry will be in town a couple more weeks for us all to meet up?”
Alani searches her brain for any mention of Harry’s travel plans and it suddenly dawns on her that she didn’t know how long he planned to stay, or where he would go once he did eventually leave the island. He had said once that he considered London his home, but it hadn’t exactly been a straight answer. The thought of his inevitable departure makes her stomach turn, so she musters up a more hopeful answer than what reflects her worries. “Definitely.”
********
Harry rushes into the house and runs a hand through his disheveled hair. The voices of his manager and friends mixed with the unfamiliar chatter of another person echo from the kitchen, and he takes a deep breath to steady his nerves.
“I’m sorry for being so late,” he apologizes with an outstretched hand towards one of the strangers he’d only conversed with over emails. “It’s nice to meet you,”
"Paul,” the man offers warmly. “Paul Dugdale,”
“Harry,”
Paul introduces the rest of the film crew that will be following the band for the week and Harry extends a gracious welcome to each of them, despite secretly wishing that he’d never agreed to the project in the first place. Every minute on camera, he realizes, is another agonizing minute away from Alani.
“So listen,” Paul instructs. “Based on everything we’ve discussed in our creative meetings, we’re gonna approach this very fly-on-the-wall style. Very little intervention, you won’t even notice we’re here,”
“Good deal,” Harry nods.
“We’ll save the interviews for when you come back to London in two weeks,”
“I’m sorry, what was that you just said?”
Paul’s brows furrow. “About the interviews?”
“The two weeks bit,” Harry clarifies.
“Oh, right. Well we’re gonna need you back in London in two weeks so we can film the sit-down interviews that will sort of guide the narrative. But don’t worry, we already scheduled it around the Dunkirk shoots so there shouldn’t be any conflicts.”
Harry’s head spins. He had been living in such a carefree bubble with Alani that every other responsibility in his life career-wise had slipped his mind entirely. There was no way on Earth that he could pack everything up and leave just when things had started to fall into place for them. With uneasiness burrowing a whole in the pit of his stomach, Harry musters up a pleasant smile. “Course, sounds great.”
The film crew sets up quickly and urges Harry and his friends to go about their usual business, but nothing feels natural about the clock ticking away inside the singer’s mind. He had always known that he was living on borrowed time in Hawai’i, but he hadn’t planned on finding something worth sticking around for. There had to be something he could do, some way that he could stay even if it was just until the end of summer before Alani would have to return to school full-time in the fall. Despite the uncertainty surrounding his plan to buy more time, one thing is certain: he can’t tell Alani until he has a solid course of action. Harry is fully aware of the risk he runs by leaving her in the dark, but it seems less daunting than the possibility of her ending things because of the sudden expiration date put on their relationship. And no matter how long Harry is able to extend their time together, he knows it won’t be easy to leave Alani and everything they had built together behind. His anxious fingers fiddle with the strings of the guitar resting in his lap as he imagines what it will take to prove his feelings, wishing all the while that he could just hold her in his arms and hear her say that everything would be alright.
********
Alani yawns, but she rubs the drowsiness out of her eyes and returns her fingers to the keyboard. She isn’t sure whether she should go through with the Rolling Stone submission, but writing has always been her way of processing her thoughts, so she decides not to let the material that she already has go to waste. Her phone buzzes on the nightstand next to her cup of coffee and she lifts it gently before reading the caller ID.
“Hey, sunshine,” she murmurs.
“Did I wake you?”
“Nah, just doing some writing,”
A smirk tugs at the corners of Harry’s mouth. “Anything I would like?”
“It’s about you,”
“Love it already,”
Alani giggles softly on the other end and it makes Harry’s chest ache. “Funny that you called. I’m actually having a bit of writer’s block,”
“Alright, let me help you out,” Harry clears his throat. “Harry Styles: aspiring musician, fashion novice, phenomenal lover—”
“—And the most humble person I know,”
“Yeah put that, too,” he adds playfully. “Hey, what time are you working tomorrow?”
Alani yawns and closes her laptop for the night. “Eight to three,”
“Shit,”
“She works hard for the money or whatever Donna Summer said,”
Harry checks the time on his phone—23:39—and he decides to act quickly. “Can you stay awake for another 20 minutes?”
“Yeah, I guess. Why?” Alani questions, taking a sip of her tepid coffee.
“Just don’t fall asleep. I’ll call you back in a few.”
“Okay.”
She assumes that Harry must have gotten busy again and puts on a movie to keep her awake. Fifteen minutes pass and her eyelids are as heavy as bricks, but the ringing of her phone nearly causes her to jump out of her skin.
“Hello?” she answers weakly.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! Or a ladder, preferably,”
Alani’s face scrunches in confusion. “What?”
“I’m outside, sweets,”
She quickly jumps to her feet and makes her way over to the window at the opposite side of her room. Sure enough, Harry is waiting below with a thumbs up and she chuckles to herself as she lifts the windowpane up.
“What are you doing?”
“Climbing this tree I guess, since you’re no help,” he explains, already finding his footing in the Acacia Koa outside her window.
“We have a front door, you know,”
Harry swiftly maneuvers from branch to branch, which frankly surprises himself as much as it does Alani. When he finally reaches the window and hoists himself inside, a victorious grin spreads across his face punctuated by a dimple on each cheek. “Can James Marsden do that?”
“You’re crazy,” Alani muses, an incredulous look in her eye.
Harry shrugs and reaches behind his back to close the window gently. “Only about you,”
Alani wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a warm kiss, humming when she feels his strong hands smooth up and down her spine.
“Missed you,” he whispers against her lips, tickling her sides lightly.
She giggles and tightens her embrace. “Missed you more,”
Harry kicks off his shoes and follows Alani into her bed, his head tilting when he spots a familiar picture tacked to her ceiling. “Is that—?”
“—An original from my favorite up-and-coming painter, Harry Styles?” she questions, completing his thought. “Why yes, it is. But it’s not for sale, so don’t even think about it,”
“Right next to the O’Keeffe one,” he boasts. “I’m honored,”
“You should be,”
Harry searches his memory to no avail. “Where did you say the original was?”
“New York Botanical Garden,” Alani murmurs against his neck, fighting the fatigue weighing on her muscles.
“I’m gonna take you one day,”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” he affirms with a feathery kiss to her temple.
Alani sits up and rests her chin on his chest, peering down at him with sleepy eyes and a sweet smile.
“Can’t wait,”
“I should probably go,” Harry breathes deeply, his own exhaustion settling in. “Let you sleep. I just wanted a good-night kiss,”
“No, stay. I’m not even tired,” Alani pleads.
“Your droopy eyes say otherwise,”
“So tell me something to keep me awake,”
Harry swallows. He searches his brain for something to say other than the news that he isn’t ready to break yet. “Like what?”
“Liiiike,” Alani sighs. “Why One Direction broke up,”
“It’s not a very interesting story,”
“I don’t believe you, but whatever. Tell me a secret, then,”
“A secret,” Harry leans in close, the tip of his nose brushing agains the apple of her cheek. “I really wanna kiss you now,”
Alani pulls back the slightest bit to steal a glance at his mouth, already parted enough for her to slot her lips between his. She buries her fingertips in the soft curls at the nape of his neck and the taste of Harry’s spearmint washes over her tongue. His hands brace each side of her neck as he plucks needy kiss after needy kiss from her generous lips.
“I can’t believe we didn’t even make it a whole day apart,” Alani jokes when they pull apart slowly.
“It’s after midnight,” Harry mumbles against her skin. “So we kinda did.”
She chuckles and plants a delicate peck to his forehead. “I love the way your mind works.”
#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles writing#harry styles x oc#one direction#one direction fanfic#ymbh
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Saving Private Ryan (1998); AFI #71
The next film on the list is one of the best films of any genre, Saving Private Ryan (1998). This is what I consider the best war film of all time despite how overwhelming it is to watch. Maybe it is because it is so difficult to watch, since the movie was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and received five trophies. Because of the ensemble cast and almost complete lack of women, the film was never going to garner much in the way of acting awards. Like the soldiers who they hoped to portray, these actors shouldn’t have expected much individual recognition. This movie affected me greatly, and I would like to delve into that after going through the story line.
MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!! BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OF THE FILM, EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE REVEALED AS FAR AS PLOT IS GIVEN AWAY BELOW!!!
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In the present day, an elderly man visits the Normandy Cemetery with his family. At a tombstone, he falls to his knees in anguish. The establishing shots showing the mass of grave stones is overwhelming from the get-go. The movie transitions from the graveyard to a landing boat at the battle of Normandy. Be prepared because it is about to get rough.
On the morning of June 6, 1944, American soldiers land at Omaha Beach as part of the Normandy invasion. Everything goes bad immediately as machine guns and mortars literally tear the landing soldiers to shreds. Soldiers are screaming for their mothers as they die on the beach. There is no going back into the ocean so the soldiers have run into the machine gun fire. Captain John H. Miller (Tom Hanks) of the 2nd Ranger Battalion leads a breakout from the beach that makes it through to the German encampment. It is about 15 minutes of carnage and nobody will blame you if you want to forward through this until the action cools down. Elsewhere on the beach, a dead soldier lies face-down in the bloody surf; his pack is stenciled Ryan, S. It is at this point I would recommend taking a breather if you need one.
Continuing on, we are shifted to Washington, D.C., at the War Department (keep an eye out for Bryan Cranston with one arm), where General George C. Marshall learns that three of the four sons of the Ryan family were killed in action within a short time of one another. Daniel Ryan in New Guinea shortly before D-Day, Sean Ryan at Omaha Beach, and Peter Ryan at Utah Beach: all dead with letters arriving the same day for their mother. The fourth son, James Francis Ryan, is with the 101st Airborne Division somewhere in Normandy. After reading Abraham Lincoln's Bixby letter, which is meant to comfort grieving parents, aloud, Marshall orders Ryan found and brought home.
Three days after D-Day, Miller receives orders to find Ryan and bring him back. He chooses seven men from his company for the job—T/Sgt. Mike Horvath (Tom Sizemore), Privates First Class Richard Reiben (Edward Burns) and Adrian Caparzo (Vin Diesel), Privates Stanley Mellish (Adam Goldberg) and Daniel Jackson (Barry Pepper), T/4 medic Irwin Wade (Giovanni Ribisi) and T/5 Timothy Upham (Jeremy Davies), an interpreter from the 29th Infantry Division. The group moves out to Neuville where they meet a squad of the 101st engaged against the enemy and both Ted Danson and Paul Giamatti show up. THe group searching for Ryan bump into a stranded French family who try to give over their children but a German sniper breaks up the party. Caparzo is killed by a German sniper, who is then killed by Jackson (who makes the most amazing shot that legends are made of). They locate a Private James Ryan (Nathan Fillion), only to learn that he is James Frederick Ryan. On the point of giving up, the Captain starts asking random passing soldiers and learns that Ryan is defending an important bridge in Ramelle.
Near Ramelle, Miller decides to neutralize a German machine gun position at a derelict radar station, despite his men's misgivings. It does not go well and the medic, Wade, is killed in the process. They take a German soldier that they name Steamboat Willie (Joerg Stadler) who gives up willingly and pleads for his life. The men are angry and want to kill the soldier since they can’t take any extras, so, at Upham's urging, Miller frees the surviving German soldier. Losing confidence in Miller's leadership, Reiben declares his intention to desert, prompting a confrontation with Horvath, who threatens to shoot him. Miller defuses the standoff by disclosing his civilian career as a high school English teacher in a small Pennsylvania town.
At Ramelle, they find Ryan (Matt Damon) among a small group of paratroopers preparing to defend the key bridge against an imminent German attack. Miller tells Ryan that his brothers are dead, and that he was ordered to bring him home. Ryan is distressed about his brothers, but is unwilling to leave his post. Miller combines his unit with the paratroopers in defense of the bridge. He devises a plan to ambush the enemy with two .30-caliber machine guns, Molotov cocktails, anti-tank mines, and improvised satchel charges made from socks. It is basically suicide so the bridge is wired to explode in case it can’t be held.
Now is a time to take a breather if you need one because it is about to get bad again. Elements of the 2nd SS Panzer Division arrive with two Tiger tanks and two Marder tank destroyers, all protected by infantry. The small American group holds off the force the best they can, Although they inflict heavy damage on the Germans, nearly all of the paratroopers, along with Jackson, Mellish and Horvath, are killed. It turns out that Steamboat Willie joined the group and he personally kills Mellish with a Nazi youth knife (it is horrible) and shoots Miller Captain Miller as he attempts to blow up the bridge. Miller crawls to retrieve the bridge detonator, and fires ineffectually but defiantly with his pistol at an oncoming tank. As the tank reaches the bridge, an American P-51 Mustang flies overhead and destroys the tank, after which American armored units arrive to rout the remaining Germans. With the Germans in full retreat, Upham emerges from hiding and shoots Steamboat Willie dead, having witnessed him shooting Miller, but allows his fellow soldiers to flee.
Miller tells Ryan to “earn this” before dying from his injuries. As the scene transitions to the present, Ryan is revealed to be the veteran from the beginning of the film, and is standing in front of Miller's grave expressing his gratitude for the sacrifices Miller and his unit made in the past. Ryan asks his wife if he was worthy of such sacrifice, to which she replies that he is. The final scene shows Ryan saluting Miller's grave and fades to the American flag gently waving in the breeze.
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I really have a hard time getting through this film without pausing and taking a breather. I saw the film in the theater when I was 18, so my friends and I were all around the age that these soldiers would have been that rushed that beach and retook France. It was truly terrifying. Now I am old and have back issues, so I wouldn’t be put on a front line, but the kids that I work with and care for would be the exact age to be caught in a draft and that scares me even more. The creative ways in which man finds to kill one another is the greatest threat to humanity.
The first two times I saw the film, I did not realize that it was the same German soldier that the group had captured who eventually killed many of the group we were following. It really changes the message in the end. I had thought that Captain Miller had showed his humanity showing mercy, but it turns out that this mercy is misplaced. Now it seems like Spielberg is saying that neither humanity, nor religion, nor innocence, nor skill, nor even intelligence can save a man in the heat of battle. The only way to live is to watch the back of your group and protect each other like family.
There was a little bit of a travesty that occurred at the Academy in early 1999, because this film lost out in the Best Picture category to Shakespeare in Love. This is the same year that also saw Saving Private Ryan, The Truman Show, Life is Beautiful, Elizabeth, and The Thin Red Line. There had to be something behind that because I wouldn’t consider the winner even in the top 5. Shakespeare in Love is considered one of the worst Best Picture winners along with Crash and The Artist. Oscars are not everything and this movie is one of the best examples of this.
When I say that some of the scenes from this movie are difficult, I really do mean it. There was a hotline set up for people who have PTSD that was triggered by the film. One of the actual members of the 101st Airborne, Major Richard Winters, was consulted about the occurrences surrounding the attack. He said that it brought up many memories that he had worked hard to suppress because he had been taught that war veterans couldn’t express the psychological pain of battle. He also said that it was an important film that revealed what war was really like.
On Veteran’s Day in 2001 and 2004, ABC aired the film uncut with limited commercial interruptions. Living in California, I was able to watch the film on both of those occasions and remember getting my girlfriend at the time to watch in 2004. The film has become like a memorial to Americans lost in the European Campaign during WW2, so I treat viewing as a badge of honor and understanding, no matter how difficult it is to watch.
This film is a pretty easy answer when it comes to the standard questions for the most part. Does this film belong on the AFI top 100? Of course. It is the new benchmark for which all American war films will be judged. It is historically accurate, it is beautifully shot and directed, and it leaves a lasting impression far longer than just about any movie I have seen. Would I recommend it? This one has an age warning. It is not appropriate for young children because the first and last battle scenes are nightmare fuel. Even worse, they are apparently very realistic. It is hard to recommend something that is so scarring, but it will keep people for glorifying battle. It is horrific and should be avoided as much as possible. And that is a lesson that I believe this movie teaches better than any other. So please give this movie a watch and feel free to take a break if you need it.
#tom hanks#saving private ryan#d-day#veterans#best director#1998#war films#steven spielberg#normandy#introvert#introverts#matt damon#vin diesel#bryan cranston
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