#but i thought christopher diaz needed some appreciation
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Recovery
For day two of Flufftober2023: Family, Friend, Loved One and with the bonus/extra prompt: “You’ve told your family?”
AO3 Link here
“-do you think they are?”
“Well, that one is our grandson –“
There’s a solid smack to someone’s body. “Ramon, I know that.”
“And that one is Buck.”
“I know that too. But who is the woman and the child?”
“Helena, I know as much as you do.”
The voices don’t make much sense as Buck transitions from sleep to wakefulness. There is a familiar ache in his body that has been there since he had woken up in the hospital after being struck by lightning. Buck knows that when he moves it will become more pronounced and so he simply allows himself to stay in the limbo between sleep and awake. He can feel fingers in his hair and there is a solid weight on his chest. Jee-Yun, if Buck’s sluggish mind is correct. And the smaller body pressed against his side, radiating a comfortable warmth, a head rested on his shoulder. That would be Christopher.
There is the sound of a door opening and closing and the rest of the noise is lost on Buck as he slowly sinks back into sleep.
“Mum, dad? What are you doing here?”
Buck feels himself pulled out of sleep once more at the sound of his best friend’s voice.
“We decided to come for a visit,” Ramon answered. “To check up on you and Christopher. And Buck of course, too.”
“Oh,” Eddie said, and he sounded flustered. Buck willed himself to wake up further, but he was so comfortable and the thought of dealing with his aching body made him stay where he was.
“Who are they?” Helena asked.
“Well, you know your grandson, Christopher,” Eddie started to say.
“You and your father are not funny,” Helena huffed.
“You know Buck. That’s his sister Maddie and her daughter Jee-Yun.”
“That doesn’t explain why they are asleep on your couch, Eddie,” Helena said, her voice strained. “Buck shouldn’t be on the couch. He should be in bed, not squashed up like this with the little one his chest.”
“Mum,” Eddie said softly. “It’s been a very long week, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t wake them. They need rest. All of them and if they get that on the couch, then I’m happy to leave them there for the time being.”
“Oh sweetheart, I just don’t want him being sore –“
There was some shuffling, and the voice grew weaker and then Buck was lost to sleep once more until fingers started poking at his cheeks. He snuffled, snorting and blinked his eye opened. He blinked away the film that coated his gaze and when it cleared, he found himself staring at his niece.
“Buck,” Jee-Yun cooed, poking her fingers at his cheeks again.
“Jee,” Buck’s voice came out rough and sounding like gravel.
“Wakey, Buck. Snack time,” Jee-Yun said as she pushed herself up on Buck’s chest, her little fingers curling into the hoodie he wore.
Buck gasped as Jee-Yun’s hands pressed into his lightening scar which was still tender to touch.
Maddie jerked awake at the sound, her fingers tightening in Buck’s hair, yanking tightly.
Buck let out a strangled yelp that startled Chris awake, his elbows digging into Buck’s still broken ribs. Buck let out a groan as everyone struggled in the tight puppy-pile they had created for themselves on the Diaz couch.
“Oh, shoot! Buck, I’m sorry,” Maddie cried, releasing her fingers from Buck’s hair, petting him almost frantically to sooth the pain.
Jee-Yun was struggling to change her position, her knobbly knees digging right into Buck’s groin.
Buck let out a strained, pained noise in the back of his throat, arm tightening around Jee-Yun to get her to stop. Another wave of pain flared through his side as Chris attempted to wiggle out of his spot where he was still pressed up between Buck and the couch.
“Jee! No, stop!” Maddie cried, trying to shift out from where Buck head was in her lap.
“Everyone, stop.”
At the sound of Eddie’s commanding voice, the living room of the Diaz home fell still. Buck realized that the commotion must have brought Eddie running from somewhere deeper in the house. As Buck looked at Eddie, and he could see the way he was assessing the situation like he was out on a call. Buck could also see Helena and Ramon hovering nearby, hovering uncertainly.
“Alright, come here Jee-Yun,” Eddie said, his voice soft as he reached for the toddler.
“Dee Dee! Snack time,” Jee-Yun told Eddie as she was scooped off Buck chest, the pressure easing off his groin instantly. It still smarted but at least her knees were no longer digging into his sensitive area.
Eddie pressed a kiss to Jee-Yun’s cheek, making a growly noise that had her giggling before he set her down on the floor. He made sure she had her balance before turning back to the couch.
“Okay Chris. You’re next. Arms up,” Eddie said.
Chris didn’t protest, knowing the no-nonsense tone Eddie had taken on. He stuck his arm up in the air, careful not to hit Buck as he did. Eddie leaned over Buck (and Buck swallowed at how close Eddie was to him and tried not to let his thoughts drift into something entirely inappropriate for the situation he was currently in) and Eddie placed his hands under Chris’s armpits. With a small grunt, Eddie hoisted Chris up from his position, careful not to let Chris brush against Buck in anyway, and into the air. He whirled Chris around, gently depositing him feet first on the floor.
“You good?” Eddie asked Chris, smoothing a hand across his hair that was sticking up in all directions.
“Yeah,” Chris said, clinging to Eddie for a beat before he was pushing himself away, shuffling over to Jee-Yun. Buck watched as Chris took Jee’s hand in his and the sight made his heart melt and the pain lessen.
Eddie turned back to Buck, giving a little grimace. “Are you okay?”
“I’ve woken up in worse ways,” Buck grunted. The pain had faded to a dull throb, but he knew that if he didn’t have something for it soon, he would be worse off for it later.
“Maddie let’s get him up,” Eddie instructed gently.
“I’m so sorry,” Maddie said, dipping to press a kiss to Buck’s forehead. “Ready?”
With the help of Maddie and Eddie, Buck was shifted into a sitting position. By the time he was upright, he felt as if he had run a marathon.
“Buck? Are you okay?” Chris asked, watching Buck worriedly.
“Yeah, superman. I’m good,” Buck smiled at Chris. “That was a pretty good nap, wasn’t it?”
“One of our best ones yet,” Chris agreed, a bright smile lifting his cheeks.
Buck laughed, the pain seeming to ease in the wake of Chris’s comment.
Maddie smoothed a hand over Buck’s back before she climbed to her feet. She moved over to Jee-Yun and Chris, pausing to run a hand over Eddie’s arm as she passed him. When she reached her daughter and Chris, she took each Jee’s other hand in hers. “How about I get us some snacks?”
“Snack time!” Jee-Yun cheered, jumping up and down on the spot.
“Can we have the yoghurt pouches?” Chris asked, perking up.
“Yep! I brought your favourites,” Maddie smiled. “Do you want your crutches, Chris? Or can you make it on your own?”
“I can do it,” Chris said, walking forward but never released Jee’s hand.
As they headed to the kitchen, Buck heard Chris say – “What kind of snack does Buck want?”
“Pain scale?” Eddie asked quietly, sitting down on the coffee table opposite Buck. Buck looked down as Eddie’s knee pressed against his own and his thought’s drifted as he got lost in how good it felt.
“Buck?” Eddie prompted, dragging Buck to reality.
“Oh, uh, yeah. Pain. I have some.”
Eddie snorted, giving his head a little shake. He tuned to look at his parents and Buck started as he realized they were still there, watching the whole scene. He cheeks flushed hot, and Buck ducked his head to avoid their stares.
“Dad, could you grab a glass of water and the pill box on the kitchen counter. Maddie knows where it is,” Eddie instructed.
“Of course,” Ramon said. “I’ll be right back.” And then he was disappearing through the door to the kitchen.
Eddie’s strong palm landed on Buck’s thigh, gently smoothing back and forth in a comforting motion. Buck’s mind was still a little sluggish after waking up (and the doctors assured him it was normal and as he healed it would get better) and Eddie touching him was distracting in a pleasurable way that wasn’t helping the situation.
“You with me?” Eddie asked softly.
“Getting there,” Buck admitted. “You left?”
“To get some groceries,” Eddie explained. “Maddie was the only one awake when I left. Guess your puppy pile was too good to resist.”
Buck hummed. “Should have joined us.” Then Buck’s mind caught up with what he said, and he flushed pink.
Eddie squeezed his thigh, a smile flickering at his lips. “Next time.”
Ramon was striding back into the living room before Buck could give it anymore thought. Ramon crossed the room, handing the water to Buck and the pill box to Eddie. In a routine they had become familiar over the years of one of them having an injury, Eddie placed the pills in Buck’s hand, and he swallowed them down.
“Thanks,” Buck said, handing Eddie the glass of water.
Eddie took the glass, handing it off to Ramon who took it easily. When Eddie’s hands were free again, he placed them back on Buck’s knees.
“Do you need to eat with those pills, Buck?” Ramon asked, drawing Buck’s attention away from the heat of Eddie’s palms.
“Yeah, I think so,” Buck said, looking to Eddie who nodded with confirmation.
“I know your sister was talking about snacks,” Helena said. “But I’ll get started on some dinner for you all.”
“I can cook –“ Eddie begun to say but Helena cut him off with a wave of her hand.
“Nonsense! Like you said, you’ve all had a big week. Let us take care of you boys,” Helena said and before Buck could form the words thank you she vanished into the kitchen.
“I’ll go get your snack,” Ramon chuckled, following his wife into the kitchen leaving Buck alone with Eddie in the living room.
“When did you parents get here?” Buck asked, frowning with confusion. “Did you tell me they were coming?”
“No, I didn’t know either,” Eddie shook his head, smiling softly. “They came down to check on us, see how we were doing after everything. To check on you.”
Buck was still trying to connect the dots, feeling as if he was still two steps behind. “Why would they come and check on me?”
“Because you’re my partner and they want to make sure you’re okay,” Eddie said gently.
Buck’s only been out of the hospital for a week but in those moments when he was waking up from his coma, he and Eddie had finally come together in the way they had been building towards for years. It was still new, still so fresh, but it felt so right. Eddie had been the one to bring him back to Diaz home and get him set up for the long recovery (and Buck suspected that if Eddie had his way, Buck would never see if loft again. He couldn’t say he was too disappointed by the thought).
“You’ve told your family? About us?” Buck asked, looking at Eddie with surprise.
Eddie squeezed his knees. “Yes. I love you, Buck. This is it for me. You and me.”
Buck released a long breath, staring at Eddie with wide eyes. “I love you too. Eddie, I love you so much. I can’t believe you told your mum and dad about us.”
Eddie ducked his head, cheeks flushing pink. “Me either.”
Buck chuckled and he leaned forward, capturing Eddie’s lips in a light kiss. “I’m so proud of you. I love you.”
“Love you,” Eddie repeated, kissing Buck one last time before pulling away. He lifted a hand from Buck’s knee, cupping Buck’s cheek instead. “I’m so glad you came back to us.”
Buck leaned into the warmth of Eddie’s palm; eyes fluttering shut at the wave of emotion that crashed through him. “Me too. I’m glad I didn’t miss out on this. On us.”
Eddie’s thumb stroked Buck’s cheek, the touch, the safety of being in Eddie’s hands, and the rhythm of each stroke lulled Buck into a light doze.
“Hey,” Eddie’s voice was soft but firm. “Don’t fall asleep. You need to eat.”
With what felt like a herculean effort, Buck forced his eyes back open and blinked blearily at Eddie. “And then we’ll take a nap?”
Eddie chuckled, Buck’s favourite smile lighting up his face. “Yeah, sweetheart. Then we can take a nap.”
“You owe me one,” Buck said, taking Eddie’s hand from his cheek and linking their fingers together instead.
“That I do,” Eddie grinned.
“Okay, I have snacks,” Ramon said, coming back into the room. “Buck, are you okay to eat there or do you want to move to the kitchen?”
“Kitchen,” Buck said, squeezing Eddie’s hand. “I want to eat with my family.”
Eddie’s smile lit up his whole face and Buck’s heartbeat was loud, and so wonderfully alive, in his chest at the sight. Recovery didn’t seem as hard now, not with his family by his side.
#9-1-1 fanfiction#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie 911#9-1-1#9-1-1 fandom#buddie#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#flufftober 2023#christopher diaz
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Random thoughts about 6x13 before we can move on with life again
OMG. That whole episode was chaotic perfection!!! I really love those "filler episodes" that are just wacky calls, mingled with some domestic firefam shenanigan, a lot of Buddie goodness, and some heartfelt drama. Like, girls (gn), we've been FED this whole episode.
Here a not at all ordered assembly of what was going through my mind, watching the episode:
Human Calculator Evan Buckley
I do hope Buck gets to keep his math skillz a while longer. And I'd really love to see it come in useful on a more serious call, too? But oh well, a fangirl can dream. Chimney asking if he did math "in his head???" was sending me. Just like Eddie's facial journeys during the math homework scene. Like, he's such a muppet.
On a more serious note, I wonder what they are going to do with that, moving forward. They laid on pretty heavy with the whole theme of figuring out the equation (hence answers in life), missing the assignment, and how Buck's skills may only be temporary. So it might be that he'll lose his way again (the same way his math skillz may leave again). We'll have to see. But it's... intriguing.
Babytrap and Sugarbaby
Like seriously. They stole this straight out of fanfic, I'm not even kidding. Eddie is babytrapping Buck so hard, only to start hustling together with him, and Buck happily handing over the money. Eddie Diaz, I'm in your walls.
Love to see Eddie being like: I will use your abilities, for evil. This guy (affectionate).
For real, though. What is the point of all that if not to give those two a nudge in the right direction (aka each other's muscly arms and taut tummies)? Eddie taking out Buck for poker dates... Them doing crime together... Them doing homework over at Buck's apartment... Buck being alone with Christopher to make cookies for school??? What is even happening??? And what's the point if not the BUDDIE AGENDA???
Also, Eddie Diaz, wear some sunglasses, your hearteyes are showing. Geez, wear some protection, you freak.
The Man with the Answers
Speaking of which, Buck's journey this season has now taken him to the stage where he feels like he is the one having the answers he's been seeking for so very long. He began this season, reading self-help books and asking e.g. Hen for the right answers. After his coma dream, Buck figured out some things about himself. He learned to appreciate his inherent value and could let go of the ghost of Daniel haunting him ever since that revelation.
Which is to say: They're moving the chess pieces in the right position, for the strategy to fully unfold. And I do believe it is the Buddie Agenda, I do.
I think a big hint was Eddie telling Christopher that the point of doing the homework himself instead of letting Buck run the calculations is that this is what's for Buck in store as well. Buck will only truly learn and get those life lessons he's so desperately seeking if he's the one to find the answers. He can't rely on self-help books or the opinions of others. He has to figure out that equation entirely on his own. He has to figure himself out.
Details that pointed me in a similar direction:
Buck telling Eddie why he didn't just get more gas: Because figuring it out was "more fun". AKA the getting to the destination is actually the goal. Buck is already where he needs/wants to be.
Eddie pointing out that those "superpowers" aren't permanent: Which may indicate that Buck will find himself struggling further down the road. Once he doesn't have the answers anymore (or rather, has them, but doesn't know how to act upon them).
Buck asking Eddie if he thinks Buck knew math all along (which is why it's actually no secret superpower via lightning ex machina): Because yes, Buck, you knew all along how to solve the equation, you're just running the wrong calculations right now. But I have faith in you that you will figure it out. Maybe just use a different measuring system!
Christopher pointing out that Buck may get more superpowers the stronger he gets: Which may be the big hint that Buck can have so much more than he currently has (more powers), the moment he understands that he already has these things (the family unit with Eddie and Christopher). He just has to claim his winnings.
I tend to believe the upshot is going to be that Buck has the answers, he just didn't put them together yet. It's like he has all the puzzle pieces, but he has to stick them together to see the grander picture (the secret ingredient). And my guess would be that it's going to be the resolution of the sperm donor storyline as well. He's looking right at the solution, and yes, it's Eddie and Christopher. And it has been all along.
The Sperm Donor Storyline(s)
Speaking of which YET AGAIN, I do find it interesting that we got this donor parallel (or antithesis) with Nathaniel and Denny vs. Buck and Kameron's and Connor's baby. Like, they now established that Nathaniel will get to play some role in Denny's life, because that is what Denny wants.
Which makes it hard for me to believe that the writers will choose the same route for Buck, also for the plain reason that they seemingly put Buck and Connor on different trajectories. Whereas Hen and Karen had an agreement with Nathaniel to keep his distance, Connor keeps sending sonograms and what not. He involves Buck actively in this whole "process" or "experience", which makes for an entirely different premise of how they are going to negotiate Buck's future role in Connor's life as well as that of Kameron and the child.
Which is something I honestly didn't see coming, I'll admit. I figured they'd take the route that him and Kameron would rather try to push Buck away (while he'd try to push into their lives). Because they chose someone as their donor who's not as much part of their social circle as Buck may have been, back when he and Connor were still roommates. The point being: I thought the storyline was going to be that Buck has to (painfully) accept Connor and Kameron having chosen him as the donor also because he'd be "easier to cut out of" their lives (and that of their child by extension). But that's not the route they are taking thus far.
But in the light of how they chose to have Nathaniel interact with Denny, I guess it makes sense. Because that'd be repetitive, in a way. Which isn't to say that Buck won't overstep and try to insert himself more into their lives than he should. I actually believe he will (it's been foreshadowed with the baby cozy and all). But Connor actively involving him thus far gives me a different vibe from what I'd previously estimated.
I'm interested to see whether they wish to explore how hard they make it on themselves, by Connor having Buck be that invested. Even though the reality is that Buck's always going to be donor not dad for that child. Like, I see great potential there. Just like I see potential character development for Connor, say, in a scenario where he feels like he's not the child's dad or so. And how he may come to struggle with that (or may even project that on Buck). There are many paths this could go.
But to turn this back to Buck here, the Nathaniel-Denny-storyline fits in so damn neatly. And I personally hope we get that kind of antithesis by the end of the season (because I'd find that very neat storytelling, is all). Namely, that Buck will do the opposite thing and extract himself from the child's life, having finally solved the equation that his family equals NOT Buck + baby but Buck + Eddie + Christopher. Because that is the stark contrast with Nathaniel. He doesn't have the family Buck already has. So that'd be the kind of bittersweet finale to that storyline I'd love to see, personally.
The Wilsons and Nathaniel
I still love to see the show standing true to exploring the different shapes family can take, now also by adding Nathaniel to the mix, portraying the tough reality that comes with this. It felt very real to me, how anxious Hen and Karen were that their son was slipping away from them.
I also liked to see Nathaniel owning up to his actions (albeit belatedly) and apologizing for his irresponsibility, without demonizing him. That guy feels very alone in this world, it'd seem, and to seek out that connection with Denny... It felt very human. So I loved to see them making it out to be just that, people making mistakes, but those mistakes being motivated by love.
And I LOVED to see Toni's growth as a character. Like, she's really trying to be there for her family, she serves as the messenger between Denny and his moms. And now she's seemingly also part of the rules Hen and Karen are setting for Nathaniel and Denny to safely interact. I love to see her safeguarding her family by opening up conversation and accepting people for who they are and how they feel. LOVE TO SEE IT. LOVE IT.
Also, loved how the Wilson family seemed to visually match, when they went to see Nathaniel at the hospital. Like, we saw a lot of yellows and blues, which signified to me that they were being there as a unit. Which tells me they're gonna be alright. Or as Toni said, they just need to figure out the right way.
Chimney's Journey to Healing
First of all, loved to see his interaction with Denny and with Hen. He's such a supportive uncle and friend (note: VERY different from what we see Buck and Christopher doing this whole episode, coz Buck ain't his uncle!!!). Like, I loved to see how he showed understanding for Denny and even let on about his own troubled feelings about his father. Even though that must still be heavy on his mind.
I do find it interesting that Chimney and the Buckley children seem to follow the same path: Which is not to forgive their parents, but to choose to let that anger/grief not control their lives anymore. Chimney has a family of his own and it's wonderful. So him coming to terms with his troubled relationship with his father in an effort to embrace the future he has as a family father is great for him. I do hope it pans out like that.
It also shows how the next generations (Chimney, Maddie, Buck) try not to repeat their parents' mistakes by holding on to e.g. grief but to choose to move on and embrace the future instead. Like, Chimney recognizes his father's humanity, well aware that this man's not changed one bit and did the terrible things he did and still does not see his son for what his son sees him (a fallible human being)... it highlights the long way Chimney's come and the great person he's become. And that's owed to the family he's found and his own strong character.
Like, I love to see that we get different versions of breaking vicious cycles.
With Eddie and Ramon, they seem to take a different route, in that Ramon seems to show genuine interest in reconnecting with Eddie, trying to find a better way for them to be father and son again.
With Toni and Hen, we see a similar thing. They reached a level of healing. Also, in that, Toni is stepping in and actively supporting her daughter and her family.
But then we still got those absentee parents who are seemingly never going to get past themselves. Which I feel is... very real in that way? You will have those people in your life. Some of them may even want to change, but they can't, past a certain point. And buying your son a new couch won't mend that relationship because you still haven't taken full accountability for what you've done in the past. Showing up to one family dinner (and being an absolute pest about it) is not going to mend things either. That's as much the reality of troubled family relationships as are the examples where there is a moving forward, together.
3 Minutes and 17 Seconds
That one's still sending me across the universe, right into a black hole. Like, they are nudging Eddie and Buck in a certain direction, but neither one is seemingly ready yet to solve the equation. Eddie knows down to the second how long he lived in a world where Buck was dead. And he feels the need to point that out, unprompted.
I honestly thought they'd have Captain Mehta point back to the shooting regarding the matter. But again, I guess timing is of the essence (maybe also signified by Buck's and Eddie's fancy watches). But after they were told that Eddie was welcome back without Buck as his human calculator, maybe we will see a second poker scene to get us there?
Like, there is something very purposeful about bringing the actor for Captain Mehta back after he left acting, really. You wouldn't do that if it didn't serve a purpose, right? And up until now, I haven't seen it. So maybe Eddie will play poker without Buck. And then Captain Mehta will say something about the shooting that either we as the audience don't know yet (e.g. Eddie lied to Buck about how little he remembers and he's only ever shared that in the poker family) or Eddie doesn't know (what Buck was like after he got shot, something that Captain Mehta witnessed first-hand).
Performance Anxiety Underway
Something that struck me was that Buck was, on the one hand, rather confident in his abilities that he started to hustle with Eddie. On the other hand, he seems very unsure about them (and what they may mean, or if they're meant to stay, or if they've been there all along). It gave me similar vibes to Buck being unsure if something's wrong with him, when the doctors did more and more tests, without telling him what may be wrong with him.
We got a hint in the previous episode that Buck still has a way ahead of him in dealing with his trauma. Right now, he is more caught up in those "new sensations", and doesn't know how to move on with his life. At the poker table, I also had a feeling that there were those moments when he wasn't just confused (as he often tends to be) or putting on a poker face. I felt like he feels out of place in a way, like he doesn't yet know what to do with his abilities/with his life, after this event. He is still doing lists to be sure he's back to reality (back to life), after all.
Deep-down, Buck is immensely insecure. And the moment he felt like something he used to be confident about (his abilities to sexually please his partners) may actually hit closer to home than just... you know, ego. They played it for laughs, having him call the women he's slept with. But they might actually turn this around to be something more serious (i.e. a symptom for something else).
Like, Buck is hellbent on pleasing other people, so potentially not being satisfactory in bed may just be the kind of performance anxiety we may see in the next episode. It ties in with Buck's previous fear that his donation isn't good enough, so he spends weeks being horny and hangry thanks to green smoothies.
If I remember correctly from some of the interviews, Buck has no intention to dip his toes back into the dating pool and will basically have the shutters on for now... Which makes it unlikely for me that he's gonna start sleeping around, to be sure that he's good at sex after all.
But if it wasn't just for laughs, I could see the theme of "having the answers already" coming back into play here. Though I'm not sure how. There's just something to that theme of Buck needing his body to be functional, and how it may give him serious anxiety, feeling like his body isn't doing what it's supposed to do (or rather, what he always believed his body was supposed to do).
On a side note: Buck telling Christopher that he likes to measure everything to feel like an actual chef hit a similar mark to me. Like, Buck is overthinking things, which may make him miss the assignment for now. Buck seemingly feels like he's only pretending at things right now (which may feed into his insecurities, really), or like he has to seize control (measuring things, calculating everything, doing those lists, and texting Bobby). Like. There is something there. I just can't wrap my wee head around it just yet.
So yeah, I can very well see Buck continuing to have performance anxiety. And I'd love to see more of that, in all of its awkward facets.
Healing Starts in the Kitchen
Kitchens continue to be the places to be for meaningful conversations for characters, and it seems to be back in full swing for Buck and Eddie. Last episode, Buck found himself finally relax when he was at Eddie's (and on Eddie's couch, hopefully soon just on Eddie). The conversation with Eddie in the kitchen definitely helped him in some ways, but the road ahead of him is still long.
It's an interesting choice that we continue to see Eddie, Buck, and Christopher being this domestic in the kitchen/at dinner tables. Like, we started out this season with Bobby's infamous lasagna and Boggle, and now we're here for math and popcorn and more math and cookies.
Others have already pointed this out, but Buck learns to express his care by cooking for his loved ones (contrast that with takeaway for his parents and waffles for Taylor at a point in their relationship where they were basically done for already). So having him repeatedly cook for/with Christopher and Eddie is just SUCH a big thing, I believe. We're shown that Buck's not just the uncle to come pick Christopher up when Eddie's car's broke. He is alone with Christopher, baking cookies for school with him. He is not just a donor, not just legal guardian (AKA the backup plan) here. And I do believe that part of Buck's journey is going to be to figure out that part of the equation.
We've already established in previous seasons that Buck's apartment is a safe space for Christopher, and it continues to be a second home for him. In the same way Eddie's house proves to be the same for Buck (as we were reminded last episode). Which has me think that part of the equation for Buck is to fully embrace that, or rather, see it for what it is, namely his path to happiness that's been there all along.
Honorable Mentions
Here's a list of things that was sending me:
Everyone of the firefam is a himbo, except for Athena and Karen. Which drives the point home that they're the only ones with the brain cell. Like honestly, Bobby and Chimney instantly jumping on detective work like that??? Buck calling his past sexual encounters??? They're all himbos, your honor!
Denny, take your damn shoes off when you are in bed, you little punk!!! Your moms raised you better than that!!!
Hen at the hospital being like "My husband? The heterosexual audacity!" was everything.
Buck continuing to creep people out with random knowledge now fueled by the power of math. We stan a himbo icon.
Eddie interrupting Buck thinking about women he's had sex with, like "I did not take you out to sexy poker night for you to use your brain for that right now, you traitor!"
I guess RIP to a favorite headcanon of mine that Buck's gonna blurt out at some point that he's screwed with plenty of guys in the past. Because he specifically started to think about the women he's slept with, though the guy was talking about partners (gn), I believe. If the writers wanted to keep that door open, I guess he would've said people or partners or whatever, too. But I shall keep it for fanfiction purposes forever and always. Because that scenario is always sending me places.
Chimney asking if Buck did math, in his head??? No, Chimney, he did it in yours, now get the hell out of here.
Buck calling the women he's had sex with... oh, those phone bills. Also: We stan a himbo icon yet again.
Buck and Eddie, doing crime, dressed in blue and red, looking damn fine. I'm here for every damn second of it.
Christopher's sass being back in full swing. We stan the one true icon.
So yeah, that's it. For now anyway. I guess I'll ramble a lot more. But I rest easy in the knowledge that Buck and Eddie marrying in Vegas just became a possibility.
Cheers!
#buddie#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#911 spoilers#911 season 6#911 season 6 spoilers#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#eddie diaz#meta#kinda#it's more “in which I ramble and make it everyone else's problem”#but oh well#it's fun
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All I Want for Christmas is You
Fandom: 9-1-1
Rating: General
Pairing: Buddie, Eddie Diaz x Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley
AO3
Masterlist
Summary: Eddie’s mom and ex-wife are up to no good at his Abuela’s Christmas Eve party, good thing Buck proposed he go to the party as Eddie fake date to keep them at bay.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Unbelievable!” Eddie shouted down at his phone in his hands.
He was currently sitting upstairs at the station, halfway through a twenty-four hour shift, tired as shit and now mad as hell to boot. As soon as he read the text and had a moment to stew on the couch where he sat alone, he dialed.
“Hello, Edmundo, it's so good to hear from you!” His mom picked up on the second ring, but hearing her extremely upbeat tone did not help his mood. “We got our plane tickets yesterday, well be flying in on-”
“I just got a message from Javi telling me that you invited my ex-wife to the party at Abuelas on Christmas Eve?!” He cut her off, not even caring about the flight and their trip into LA for the holidays right now. “Cancel with her right now!”
“Edmundo, I know I raised you to have better manners than this. I can't cancel now, it would be rude.”
Eddie scoffed into his phone and shook his head. “I don't care if it's rude, Mom, she's been rude since the day she walked out on me and Christopher! I do not want her there!”
“Edmundo Diaz, you cut your tone and listen to me. She is Christopher's mother, your wife-”
“Ex-wife!” He screamed into the phone, face red with rage, and stood beginning to pace the area in front of the couch. “And she has made it very clear over the years that she wanted nothing to do with me or Chris. I do not want her at the party, even bringing her up stress’s Chris out and I will not have him upset on Christmas Eve because of her. So call her and tell her she's not welcome.”
“I am not doing that. This is absolutely ridiculous, you need to see each other and fix this.”
“There is nothing to fix, call her now!”
“Edmundo-”
Eddie didn't let her finish and hung up, then plopped himself back on the couch, slumped forward with his head in his hands.
His uncharacteristic outburst had also gained the attention of his entire crew, who were now all looking on from the game area upstairs, and very concerned. Eddie never freaked out, not like that.
“Buck,” Hen nudged him where he stood beside her, “you gotta fix that, baby.”
“Hen’s, right,” Chim added, “something is clearly very, very wrong, and you're his best friend. So go talk to him, make sure he's okay.”
Buck stood there watching Eddie for a few more moments. His head was still slumped over, his shoulders hunched in, his hands rubbing up and down his face. He knew this look, he also knew that level of freak out. The rest of the crew might have no idea what's going on, but Buck knew Eddie better than anyone, so he knew exactly what was going on. He also knew that Eddie would need someone to vent to, and of course he would be that person.
“Okay,” Bobby waved a hand at them, gesturing them away, “everyone clear out, let's give them some privacy.”
Buck hung back a beat for everyone to clear out, Bobby to his office, and Hen and Chim downstairs to work on the trucks and ambulance, then he walked over and sat on the couch beside Eddie.
“So,” Buck started when Eddie didn't look up, “what did they do this time?”
“Probably the worst thing they've done yet,” he answered, finally sitting back to look at Buck, “my mom invited Shannon to the Christmas Eve party at Abuela’s.”
“Are you serious?!”
“Yeah,” he shook his head and sank deeper into the couch, “I got a text from my cousin. He told me my mom had invited her, thought I'd want a heads up so I wasn't showing up to the party blind. But it's an ambush, Buck, I know it is.”
“Why would your mom invite your ex-wife to your Abuela’s party?” He asked.
“Because my mom never approved of my getting divorced. She thought that Shannon and I should have just worked out all of our problems, but how am I supposed to do that when she left us in the middle of the night?!” He ran his hands down his face again, trying to calm down. “And I know I wasn’t the best husband, I was away a lot, wasn't there for her and Chris when they needed me.”
“Eddie, that's bullshit,” Buck scoffed, “you were deployed and fighting for your country. It's not like you were off cheating. You were risking your life in another country so that her and Chris could live free and safe. If she didn't understand that then that's her problem.”
“Thanks, Buck,” he smiled over at him. Buck always had a way of making him feel better. “But even still, Shannon and I were always doomed, long before my deployment. The only reason we stayed together really was because of my mom, who is now trying to stick her nose where it doesn't belong.”
“I don't think your Abuela will be too happy about this either,” Buck added, “from what I remember from talking to her about it, she is not a fan of Shannon’s.”
“No she is not,” he agreed, “she saw the toll it took on Chris when Shannon left, how much it stresses him out when his mom is brought up in any way. And if he sees her at this party he's going to get all upset, and the thing that kills me is that obviously my mom and Shannon don't seem to care. Chris has been looking forward to this party for a month and I don't want him all worked up because of this. Why now is she all of a sudden wanting to show up at family events? You know, after she left I tried for years to get her to come see Chris. I invited her to birthdays, Christmas, holidays, school events, and she never wanted to come to any of them. So somethings up, and I'm sure my mother is in on it too.”
“Why don't I go with you?”
“Really?!”
“Yeah,” Buck shrugged, “and just to really screw with both your ex-wife and your mom, why don't we pretend it's a date?”
“A… a date?” Eddie swallowed hard, a lump suddenly finding its way into his throat, his skin hotter than the fires he fought. “You want to pretend to be my… my boyfriend?”
“Why not?” Buck asked, as if it was no big deal. But to Eddie, it was a big deal, a very, very big deal. Eddie had wanted to ask Buck out since day one, but everytime he got close he chickened out. Now Buck was asking him out, well kind of, but it was all going to be fake. A taste of what Eddie wanted, of what he could have, and Buck didn't seem to think of it as being anything more than the fake out it was, just a show put on to keep his mother and ex at bay. And if that was the case then maybe Eddie had been lucky that he was such a chicken all those years, maybe Buck would have said no if he'd asked him out for real. Then he was brought out of his quickly spiraling thoughts by Buck's voice again. “If you want me to, I'll go with you to your Abuela’s party and while we're there we'll stand real close, hold hands, snuggle, make them both super uncomfortable, and just have a really good time. It'll drive them both crazy, trust me. And as an added bonus, Chris can't possibly have a bad time if I’m there!”
“You know what, yeah, let's do it.” Eddie had thought of saying no, because how could he possibly let himself live in a fake fantasy for one night only to have it violently ripped away from him once their mission was complete, but Buck was right about Chris, and this was really all about him. So Eddie pushed his feelings aside so his son could be happy. “And you're right, Chris will be thrilled to have you there. So if all else fails, at least Chris will be happy.”
“It's a date then!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
In a matter of four hours Eddie had tried on all of his three suits probably ten times each. Normally he wouldn't care so much, it was just a family Christmas party at his Abuela’s house, no big deal. Except this one was a bigger deal than all the other times. Not for the fact that his family was flying in, not for the fact that his ex-wife was going to be there, but for the fact that he was going to the party with Buck. Buck who was his best friend, who was Christopher's second legal guardian, Buck who Eddie had been completely and utterly in love with since his first day in the 118. And Buck was going to be there in less than fifteen minutes to pick him up for the party, and still Eddie hadn't landed on which suit to wear. God, they were only fake dating for one night and already Buck had him in shambles.
“You should wear the dark blue one, Daddy.” Eddie turned to find Christopher standing in his bedroom doorway, all done up in his own beige plaid suit that he had picked out for the party a few weeks back, with his curls brushed neatly to the side. He had insisted on getting himself ready all on his own, and though he didn't let it show when he had told Eddie as much, it broke Eddie's heart just a little bit that Chris didn't need his help anymore. “The blue one makes you look the most handsome.”
Eddie nodded with a smile, it would seem his decision had been made as he slipped into the navy blue pants and matching jacket, then walked over and knelt in front of Chris. “Thanks, kiddo, and you look very handsome too,” he smiled and reached out to flatten the collar of his jacket.
The doorbell rang then, and Eddie looked down at his watch. He was right on time.
“Who could that be?” Chris asked, looking a little put out. “We have to leave now or we'll be late for Abuela’s party, why is someone at the door now?”
Eddie just laughed as he stood and guided Chris down the hall. “Why don't you go open the door and see who it is.”
Chris sighed, a slight bit overdramatic, but conceded. “Okay, fine.”
Eddie stood back a bit and watched Chris shuffle his way over to the door, and he had to laugh as Chris mumbled under his breath about ‘not having time for guests right now’, then smiled when he opened the door and his entire demeanor changed in an instant.
“Buckey!” Chris shouted, instantly lifting his arms up to Buck.
“Hey, kiddo!” Buck shouted back, just as excited to see him, and lifted Chris into a hug.
“Are you coming to the party with us, Buck?” Chris asked, tugging on Buck’s jacket which got Eddie's attention.
Eddie looked up from his son to Buck, and he was sure he would have to pick his jaw up off the floor. Buck looked great, amazing, and there was no way Eddie was going to make it through this party unscathed. He was wearing Eddie's favourite colour on Buck in the form of a dark maroon suit, which clung to Buck in all the right places. The jacket and button up underneath were stretched tightly across his chest, accentuating the broadness of his shoulders, a feature of Buck’s that Eddie wished he could get his hands on. And the matching pants were more than a sin. They were, if even possible, somehow tighter then the jacket, and Eddie’s eyes were suddenly caught on the firmness of Buck's thighs. God, how many times had he fantasized about those thick muscled thighs being wrapped around his waist while he-
“I sure am!” Eddie registered Buck answering Chris's question, and quickly darted his eyes away from Buck’s thighs and back to his face. Then Buck, the usual goofball he was, grabbed the collar of his jacket and turned on his heels once. “How do I look? Party ready?”
“You look great, Bucky!” Then Chris turned back to look at Eddie. “Doesn't Buck look great, Dad?”
“I…” Eddie felt his cheeks suddenly heat up. There were a lot of things Eddie could say about how Buck looked right now, though many of them were not appropriate for the ears of his child, so instead he went with, “Yeah, you look good, Buck.”
Buck flashed him a smile, and Eddie even thought that maybe he saw a bit of pink in his cheeks too, but it couldn't be.
Then Chris's eyes caught on something on the ground by Buck’s feet and his eyes lit up again. “Are those for me?!” He asked and pointed to the gifts.
“They sure are!” Buck bent down and grabbed some, reaching up to hand them to Eddie before going back for the rest.
They walked in and tucked them under the tree quickly, then Buck stood to watch Chris with a smile while he awed over all the gifts Buck had brought.
“You didn't have to do that, Buck.”
Buck just turned to Eddie with a smirk and a shrug. “What's the good of having friends with kids if I can't spoil them a little?” Eddie just shook his head with a fond smile, then Buck pointed to the new pile of gifts under the tree. “There's a few in there for you too.”
“You definitely didn't have to do that.”
“Just some fun stuff I thought you guys would enjoy,” Buck smiled and took one more glance over at Chris and asked, “so, should we get going? Abuela hates it when we’re late.”
“Yeah, just…” Eddie walked past Buck and over to the couch where he had draped his tie over the back. “I just have to figure out this stupid thing. I was never good at this, I should have just gotten a clip-on like the one I got for Chris.”
Buck laughed then reached out his hands to take the tie. “Here, I'll do it for you.”
“Oh, uh… yeah, okay.”
Buck reached out and wrapped the tie around Eddie's neck and tucked it under the collar of his jacket. His nimble fingers worked the tie into the intricate knot, and Eddie was fighting back the urge he felt to lunge forward and attack Buck’s lips in a kiss, which was more and more difficult to refrain from everytime Buck's fingers grazed the skin of his neck. Then all too soon he was done, pulling the tie tight and adjusting the knot against his neck, and his hands were gone and Eddie suddenly felt cold.
“Okay,” Buck clapped his hands, ripping Eddie from his frozen state, “Chris, are you ready to leave?”
“Yeah!” He shouted, pulling himself away from the tree and over to Buck. He lifted his arms up to him again, and again Buck lifted him into his arms without any hesitation and carried him out the door. It always made Eddie's heart flutter when Buck carried his kid like that.
Eddie closed and locked the door behind them, and then skipped ahead to switch Chris's car seat from his truck to Buck’s jeep. While he did he had the thought that he should just get an extra seat for Buck’s jeep, Chris was in there often enough, and that way they wouldn't have to go through switching the seat from his truck to the jeep and back constantly. Maybe he'd go out after Christmas and grab one, Buck would probably like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time they got to Abuela’s, the party was already in full swing. The house was packed with Eddie's family who had all flown in for Christmas, as well as some of Abuela and Peppa’s friends from the street, and suddenly Eddie was feeling a lot overwhelmed.
As if Buck could sense it he leaned in closer to Eddie so their shoulders were touching. He gave him a slight nudge and Eddie looked over to him. In that moment he was so thankful that Buck had come with him, because if it wasn't for that smile he was giving Eddie right now, Eddie probably would have grabbed Chris and hightailed it out of there before anyone saw them. But Buck had this supernatural way of calming him with as little as a glance, or a quick brush of their hands. He needed Buck more than he knew, he just wished he could get the courage up to tell him that.
“Ah there are my boys!” They both looked over as Abuela came marching through the crowd toward them, her arms outstretched, and she instantly took Chris into a hug. “Chris, why don't you go into the living room and play with your cousins.”
Chris didn't need to be told twice as he quickly took off to find the other kids, then Abuela moved on to Eddie.
“Edmundo.” She kissed both of his cheeks then moved over to Buck to do the same. “And Evan, mi amor! I didn't know you were coming, but this is such a wonderful surprise! We always love having you.”
“And I love being here,” Buck smiled at her, then leaned in as if he was about to whisper some state secret, and asked, “there are tamales right?”
“Of course, mi amor. And,” Abuela leaned in just the same as Buck had, Eddie laughing to himself as their heads were nearly pressed together, “since I wasn't aware that you were coming tonight, I made an extra batch of them for Eddie to take home for you after the party. They're in the fridge, and you know where the microwave is.”
“You're the best.” Buck fist pumped and leaned in to kiss her cheek again, before backing up to stand beside Eddie.
“Also, Edmundo, you should know your ex-wife is here.” Eddie groaned and leaned a bit further into Buck, and his Abuela grimaced as she added, “And she's been looking for you since she got here, so heads up.”
“Of course she has.” Eddie sighed hard, hoping that she hadn't already gotten her claws into Chris while he wasn't looking. He could feel his anxiety riding up again at the thought, so he looked up to Buck to feel that instantly calming relief, and was met with a smirk and a wink.
Buck then turned back to Abuela as he wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist and pulled him in even closer. “Why is she so eager to see my boyfriend?”
Eddie couldn't help but smile and hide his face a bit in Buck’s collar as he watched Abuela’s eyes widen, her hands shooting up to cover her mouth. “Are you serious?! You two?!”
Both Eddie and Buck nodded with beaming smiles as Eddie answered, “We thought it would be nice to tell everyone at the party tonight. But yeah, us two.”
“Oh dios mio!” She shouted, holding her hands to the sky before going in for more hugs and kisses. “This is fantastic news!”
“See, I told you she'd be happy for us,” Buck said, and completed the fanfair by turning his head and placing a sweet kiss against Eddie's temple.
Abuela squealed when he did, and Eddie blushed impossibly harder, then she turned and took off through the house shouting, “I have so many people to tell!” And then she was gone, Buck and Eddie laughing after her.
The rest of the party went fairly well with little anxiety on Eddie's part, mostly thanks to Buck. Since they had arrived, Buck kept in constant contact with him, either with his arm around his waist or his hand in his, and Eddie was thankful for it.
He spent the better part of the evening introducing Buck to all of his family, so far successfully being able to avoid both his parents and ex-wife, but Eddie just focused on the giddy sensation working through him everytime he announced, “This is my boyfriend, Buck.”
Eventually Chris came looking for them, or rather looking for Buck, and he found them in the dining room. “Buck!” He happily walked over, reaching for Buck's hand to start dragging him back to the living room. “Come do Christmas crafts with me, Abuela wants us to make ornaments for her tree.”
“Alright, buddy, I'm coming.” Then Buck turned back to look at Eddie. “You alright on your own for a bit?”
“Yeah, you guys have fun,” he smiled to reassure Buck, then watched them disappear into the living room hand in hand.
Eddie turned back to the table filled with all his favourite foods cooked by Abuela, and started making himself a small plate, and of course now that he was alone the ambush could begin. As soon as Buck wasn't attached at Eddie's hip anymore, he quickly found himself in the company of his mother.
“What is this I hear about you and someone named Evan?” She sounded just as pleased as he expected her to.
“It's exactly what it sounds like, I'm here with my boyfriend,” he shrugged and moved over to the doorframe so he could lean and watch Buck and Chris at the now designated crafts table in the living room. As soon as Eddie's eyes landed on Buck he looked up, as if sensing Eddie. He gave him a look that asked if he was okay, Buck’s eyes flitting over to his mom for a quick second then back to Eddie. But Eddie waved him off, so Buck smiled and turned his attention back to Chris and the ornament he was making.
While Eddie watched them together he found that, just like every other time he would stand back and not so sneakily spy on them together like this, all of his woes and worries completely melted away. At this moment it was just the three of them, and Eddie was completely content with it being that way for the rest of his life. Him, Chris, and Buck, all together and happy, that was all he wanted for Christmas this year.
He leaned a shoulder on the doorframe, his eyes never leaving either of them, and he couldn't help but laugh when he caught the giant smear of red glitter across one of Buck’s cheeks. Buck was such a big kid, but Eddie wouldn't have him any other way.
“That's him there,” he pointed Buck out to his mother, who he had almost forgotten was still standing beside him, “I can introduce you if you want to meet him. But he doesn't like to be called Evan, it's Buck.”
His mom only scoffed and turned away from Buck. “And you leave him alone with Christopher? Just like that? How well do you even know this man?”
“Mom, I've worked with Buck for years,” he started, honestly a little shocked at her overly aggressive tone, “Buck saved Chris in the tsunami, he picks Chris up from school if I’m busy, watches him if I pick up an overtime shift, he reads to Chris at night for god sake. There is no one in this world I would trust more with my son than Buck. And Chris loves him just as much as I do.”
“You don't love him-”
“Yes, I do,” he stopped her, and no words had ever rang more true, “I love him, and nothing will ever change that.”
“You have a wife, Edmundo,” she all but growled at him.
“I have an ex-wife, Mother,” he shot back, “and she doesn't belong here. She left us, she made her choice.”
“She's family.”
“No she's not,” Eddie shook his head. As far as he was concerned, the day she sent him the divorce papers, she made a definite decision to not be included in the family anymore.
“So, Shannon, the mother of your child, is not family, but this… Buck is?”
“Yes,” he answered firmly, not a doubt in his mind, “Buck is family, he's my family and he's Chris's family. And Abuela and Peppa like him too.”
“Edmundo,” she sighed and crossed her arms, trying out her best disappointed mom look on him, “I will take no more of this nonsense. Talk to your wife and fix this mess!”
“Again, ex-wife, Mom, she is my ex-wife,” Eddie sighed and rolled his eyes, then turned back to look at Buck and Chris again, just in time to see Buck use his thumb to smear a matching streak of red glitter straight across Chris's forehead. He couldn't help but laugh helplessly as both of his boys erupted into a fit of giggles where they sat on the floor, tucked under the coffee table, and Buck took out his phone to take a selfie of the two of them in their matching glitter face paint. “And the only mess I have to worry about cleaning up will be Buck and Chris when I get them home later. I have a feeling that glitter isn't going to be coming out of their hair as easily as I hope it will.”
His mother fumed at his nonchalant attitude over the idea of trying to ‘fix things’ with his ex-wife, and as if she had been summoned like the devil himself, Shannon took that moment to start making her way over to them.
His mother caught sight of her as well, then turned fuming eyes on Eddie, he was sure if they could change colour they would be red. “Here she comes. Fix it, Edmundo, I mean it!” Then she walked away, as if threatening him and giving them privacy was going to change anything.
“Eddie,” Shannon sneered as she came to take up the place his mother had just left.
“Shannon,” he snipped back.
She took a moment to eye him up and down, then crossed her arms over her chest. “I hear you've brought a man with you to the party.”
“I have brought my boyfriend with me to the party, that is correct. His name is Buck.”
She scoffed, much in the same way his mother had when Eddie had corrected her only minutes ago, adding in a shake of her head.
“What was that for?” Eddie asked, though he was sure he could figure it out without much help.
“You don't have a boyfriend, Eddie.” He just made a face at her, letting her continue with her bullshit explanation of why she knew he wouldn't have a boyfriend. “I don't believe a word of this, you don't like men.”
“Is it really that hard to believe I've found happiness in someone that's not you? Not that we were all that happy when we were together.”
She glared at him for a moment before deciding to ignore that last comment. “You're not gay, Eddie. We have a kid, we were married, you've never shown any interest in men before, so I find it awfully convenient that you find out I'm coming to the party and suddenly you have a boyfriend that no one knew about.”
Eddie shrugged and nodded, “First off, you're right about some things. You're right about the fact that im not gay, but there are plenty of other ways to identify what I am, maybe I’m bi. Second, why would I have ever told you if I did have any interest in men, that's absolutely none of your business. And third, Buck is my boyfriend, I love him very much, and if you don't like it or don't believe it, then frankly that's your problem.”
She didn't say anything, just crossed her arms tighter over her chest and deepened her scowl.
Wanting to just get this ridiculous charade over with and get down to the real reason for her being here, he asked, “Have you seen Christopher yet?” Though he already knew the answer.
“No, there's something I wanted to talk to you about first.”
Ah, and there it was. Eddie knew there was something behind this visit, something that she had been scheming for this entire time. He also knew that she would go right to him, because she knew full well that if she so much as attempted to try and use Chris to get to him, the answer would be no before she even asked. So here they were, the real reason for her sudden need to be included in family events.
“So talk,” he said, eyes still on his two boys at the table.
“Look,” she shifted, trying to get in his line of sight, between him and his boys, “my parents were pissed when they found out that you and I split up-”
“You mean when you left us,” he gestured between himself and Chris and then shook his head at her, “we didn't split up, that was all you.”
“Whatever,” she waved a hand in his face, “this isn't about that. You know how traditional my parents are, and the point is they are not happy at all. I spoke to them about a month ago and they said that they discussed my failed marriage, and told me they have made the decision that if I don't get myself sorted out and fix my marriage, be a good mother to my son, then they are going to cut me off and write me out of their will. So-”
“Okay, wait a second,” he stopped her, holding his own hand in front of her face, “let me just get this straight here. What it sounds like to me is that you want me to let go of everything I have here right now, that being my happiness with Buck, and just let you waltz right back into my and Christopher’s lives like nothing even happened?! So that you can, what, fake your way through being a happy, devoted wife? A good mom? All of this ridiculous charade you want us to play, just so you don't lose your inheritance?! You want me and Chris to take you back for money?!”
“I…” She struggled for what to say next, Eddie assumed trying to come up with some kind of excuse to make it sounds less snake-like then it did, but in the end she just went with the truth, probably knowing Eddie would see right through it anyway. “I want my inheritance, okay. It's going to be a lot of money, and I want it, this is the only way I can get it. And if you do this, when the time comes and I can collect my inheritance, I will give you ten percent of whatever I get. After that, you and Christopher can go your own way, and I will go mine.”
“Are you seriously trying to bribe me?!” Eddie balked at her, his plate falling out of his hand and landing at his feet. He was yelling now, but he hadn't noticed that the entire house around them had gone silent, all eyes on them. “I knew you were a cold hearted bitch, but I never thought you'd stoop this low!”
“It's going to be a lot of money, Eddie,” she tried to reiterate to him, as if it was going to change his mind somehow, “surely you could use that money to pay off Christopher's medical expenses when I do finally get that money.”
“I can't believe you right now!”
There was suddenly a solid presence at his side then, a familiar one, which he leaned into as if it was already muscle memory to do so. Buck. He had obviously heard the commotion, as had the entire house more than likely, and he was now beside him with an arm around his waist, firmly anchoring him, instantly calming him.
The entire thing earned a scoff from Shannon who was just shaking her head as she watched them.
“Babe, you alright?” Buck asked, pulling Eddie closer against him.
Eddie caught Shannon’s head shaking out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't even find it in himself to care. The thrill it sent through his body to hear Buck call him babe was enough to have him forgetting the entire world. Not to mention that Buck’s scent was surrounding him, all over him, and he couldn't help but turn and nuzzle his nose into Buck's neck. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Buck smiled down at Eddie, even lifted his chin a bit to give Eddie more access so he could breathe him in as much as he wanted. Then Shannon was suddenly in his line of sight, trying to weasel her way between them. “Hi,” she grunted out, shoving her hand close to Buck’s chest, “I’m Shannon, I'm Eddie's wif-”
“Ex-wife,” he corrected her before she could even finish, shocking her back a few steps, “yeah, I know who you are.” Then buck turned more into Eddie, lifting his chin with his fingers to look onto his eyes. “You sure you're alright?”
Eddie beamed up at Buck, having completely forgotten all about Shannon and her outrageous offer, and was even more blissed out when Buck brought a hand up to cup his cheek. “Yeah, I'm fine now, Buck.”
“Good,” Buck smiled down at him, then leaned in and engulfed him in the tightest and most secure hug of his life, and whispered in his ear, “trust me and follow my lead?”
Eddie gave him an almost imperceptible nod, then let Buck pull back, but he only pulled back just enough to see his face. They were still close, still wrapped in each other's arms, then Buck leaned in and captured Eddie's lips in a soft kiss. It was as perfect as Eddie had always imagined it would be. Their lips slotted together so perfectly it was like they were made for each other. And the way Buck wound his arms around Eddie's back, pulling him in as close as he could possibly get him, every inch of them touching, Eddie was sure he was in heaven.
Eddie slid his hands up Buck’s muscled shoulders and wrapped around his neck, arching into the kiss. Then suddenly they heard the slam of a door behind them and they parted for just a moment. Eddie shook out of his daze and realized that Shannon was no longer standing beside him, though to be completely honest, he had forgotten about her the second Buck's lips touched his. He quickly peered around Buck and toward the front door, Abuela was standing there with a beaming smile on her face giving Eddie a double thumbs up.
Eddie scoffed a laugh at her then turned back to Buck, their noses touching again, and breathed, “Buck, she left, Shannon’s gone,” yet he couldn't find it in himself to let go of the grip he had on Buck’s neck, especially when Buck was showing no signs of moving either.
Buck just shrugged and smiled, then his eyes darted back down to Eddie's lips. Before he knew it, Buck was on him again, kissing him harder and deeper than before. Then Buck’s tongue slid across Eddie's bottom lip and he eagerly parted his lips for him. Their tongues danced and Eddie licked into Buck’s mouth just as enthusiastically as Buck was licking into his. And Eddie found he didn't care who was watching or how many of his family members were around them, because this was the best night of his life, and even though it was all fake, Eddie figured it wouldn't hurt to pretend it wasn't for just a little while longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Midnight rolled around before they knew it, and Chris had long since passed out on the floor in a pile of his cousins. Buck had insisted on carrying him out to the car. They were stopped at the door by Abuela for a kiss goodnight for Buck, and a kiss on the cheek for the still sleeping Chris in Buck’s arms.
“I'll take him to the jeep and get it started, take your time,” he said to Eddie, then smiled at Abuela one more time as he passed by, “good night, Abuela, thanks for the great party.”
“Good night, Buck,” she said as he passed her and headed out the door, then she turned to Eddie and engulfed him in a hug, “Edmundo, I am so happy you're finally happy. I could always tell you never were with Shannon, but when you're with Buck I can see true happiness in your eyes, and Christopher adores him. He is a wonderful man, Edmundo.”
Eddie looked out to the jeep and watched Buck ever so gently place Chris in the carseat in the back, then placed a blanket over Chris and leaned in to kiss his forehead before hopping into the front seat. “Yeah,” Eddie smiled fondly, “he is pretty great.”
“You better hold onto that one, Mejo,” she patted his arm, “he's a very, very good man, and they don't come around all too often anymore.”
Eddie nodded to her, she definitely wasn't wrong, Buck was one in a million.
He gave her one more hug and took the container of extra tamales she had packed away for Buck, then headed out to the jeep.
~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't take long before they were pulling into Eddie's driveway. Chris was still dead to the world in the backseat, so Eddie decided it would be safe to give Buck the full explanation in regards to Shannon’s scheme.
“I can't believe she tried to bribe you, and pulling Chris and his medical bills into her messed up plan,” he shook his head as he put the jeep into park, “that's crazy.”
“No kidding,” Eddie scoffed, then got out of the car. He walked back and opened Chris’s door to start getting him out of the car seat, but Buck moved him out of the way insisting on carrying Chris inside.
As they walked up the steps to the house and Eddie let them inside, Buck took a chance and said, “Honestly, Eds, it's probably a lot better that you and Chris were able to get away from that. You guys are better off without that much negativity in your lives.”
“You are not wrong. And you know,” he said as he closed the door and followed Buck down the hall to Chris's room, “the whole time she was there she never even said hi to Chris. I asked her if she was going to and she had zero interest, all she cared about was trying to find a way to get her money. I knew she was up to something, I just knew it.”
“Good thing I came with you, then. Hopefully she wont bother you anymore, especially now that she thinks you have a smokin’ hot firefighter boyfriend.”
“Don’t let that go to your head, Buck,” Eddie laughed, “and don’t even try to sound intimidating, you’re a giant teddy bear.”
“Well, yeah,” he shrugged, “But I at least look intimidating right?”
Eddie could only smile fondly at him and roll his eyes. Once they got to Chris's room, he stood back and watched as Buck gently laid Chris back in his bed. He pulled the blankets up and over him, then leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his head before whispering, “Good night buddy, and merry Christmas.”
It was such a sweet and heart melting sight, Eddie wished he could see it every night. That it would just be commonplace for the two of them to tuck Chris into bed each night, then head off down the hall to go to bed themselves, wrapped up in each other.
Eddie crossed the room and kissed his son good night as well, then he and Buck left his room and made their way back to the front door. And suddenly, it was awkward.
The crushing weight of the situation and the realization that, as much as Eddie did not want it to be, the fantasy was over. Buck would go home, probably have Christmas with Maddie and Eddie would spend Christmas with Christopher. Then they would go back to normal, like none of it had ever happened, like they hadn't… had never kissed.
“So uh,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, deciding it was best to just get it over with and cause himself as little pain as possible, “thanks for coming with me tonight. You were right, it did solve my problem with Shannon and my mom, and Chris was very happy that you were there. He had a great time, and it would seem you did as well if all this glitter is anything to go by.” Eddie reached out and ran his thumb over the now hardened patch of glitter on his forehead and Buck laughed. “Good luck getting it all out of your hair, by the way.”
Buck chuckled again. “And did you have a good time? You know, despite the whole Shannon thing.”
“Yeah, I did,” and it wasn't a lie, “it was probably the best time I've had at a family event like that in years.”
“Good.”
They smiled at each other, and it was once again awkward. They stood and shuffled their feet for a few minutes, neither of them really knowing what to say or what to do, and all Eddie could think about was that kiss back at the party. He wanted more of that now, but he didn't know if Buck…
“I, uh…” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck and stepping out the door, “I better get going. It's late and I'm sure the little man will have you up bright and early to see what Santa brought him.”
“Yeah,” Eddie chuckled and ran a hand down his face, “crack of dawn every Christmas morning.”
“Well, you better go get some sleep then,” Buck smiled and started down the porch steps, “merry Christmas, Eds.”
“Merry Christmas, Buck.”
Eddie stood at the door and watched Buck get back in his jeep, and waited until he drove down the road and out of sight before he closed the door. Suddenly he felt empty. In a way, watching Buck drive away was like the final straw in the end of this fantasy. It was over, the kiss was a mere tactic to scare away Shannon, and it had worked exactly as they had planned. But Eddie didn't want it to be over, he didn't want to go back to being just Eddie and Buck, best friends and co-workers. Tonight was a great night, he hadn't felt so free and happy and himself in such a long time, and now he was going to have to spend the rest of his life trying to accept that fact that he would probably never have that feeling again.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure enough Christopher was jumping on top of him as soon as the first hint of sunlight was peeking through his curtains. But he was exhausted. He barely slept, all he could think about all night long was Buck, and all he could dream about was that kiss. But Chris was pulling on his arm and squealing about Santa, so as the good dad he is, he forced himself out of bed and let Chris drag him to the living room.
Chris lost his mind as soon as he saw the heap of presents under the tree, and hurried over to sit in front of it while Eddie took a detour to make coffee. He quickly downed one cup, then poured himself another before going over to the couch to watch Chris open his gifts.
“Hey, Dad,” he turned back to look at Eddie, “can open one of the presents from Buck?”
“Yeah, buddy, of course.”
He grabbed the biggest one that said ‘To: Chris, From: Buck’ and ripped into it. It was a huge fire station that had all the bells and whistles, literally, it made all the sounds, and it came with two fire trucks and a few firefighter figurines.
“Wow, Dad, look! Just like you and Buck!”
“You'll have to thank Buck the next time you see him.”
Chris turned back to the gift he had just opened and was suddenly a bit sullen. “I had fun with Buck last night, I wish he was here now.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said, leaning further into the side of the couch, “I wish that too, buddy.”
The doorbell had the both shaken out of their momentary sorrow, and both turned toward the door. Eddie looked at the time on his phone and made a very confused face. Who in their right mind would be at his door on Christmas morning, at not even seven am?
“Do you think it's Abuela?” Chris asked with a bit more excitement than he had a few seconds ago. “She said she was going to come over to see my presents.”
“Maybe, I just didn't think she would be coming over this early.” He got up to open the door, a little startled when whoever it was rang the bell a second time then immediately resorted to knocking. “Okay, okay, I'm coming… jeeze.”
He opened the door ready to give whoever was so rudely interrupting their Christmas morning a piece of his mind, but he was stunned out of words when he found Buck standing in front of him, looking an odd mix of bewildered and nervous.
Eddie gave him a quick once over, taking in the disheveled mess of his hair, looking like he'd just rolled out of bed and ran here. “Buck, what-”
“Don't…” Buck held both of his hands up, stopping Eddie in his tracks, “don't talk, I just… I just need to try something.”
Eddie obliged, but Buck just stepped inside the house without another word. He just stood there, staring down Eddie, when suddenly he just decided to go for it and lunged forward. He grabbed Eddie's face in both of his hands and kissed him, and it was even more electric then it had been at the party. Eddie couldn't help but wrap himself into Buck, pulling him as close as he could get him, tangling his fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He hummed into the kiss as Buck tilted his head and deepened it, licking into Eddie’s mouth with a fire that shot through his entire body. Then just as quickly as it had started, Buck pulled back.
His hands were still holding Eddie's face close to his own, their panted breaths mixing between them. Buck just stared at him with this look of pure love in his eyes, and when he couldn't seem to find any words, Eddie breathed out, “Me too, Buck.”
Buck just smiled and lunged forward to taked Eddie's lips again, and moved his hands to wrap around Eddie's waist as tightly as he could manage.
Eddie had never been happier, this was real, their fake date ended as soon as Buck stepped outside his door last night. So this, everything Eddie had ever dreamed of having, was finally all his.
“Does this mean Buck can live here now?!” Chris asked excitedly from the living room, and both Buck and Eddie just smiled into the kiss and held each other tighter.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Part three of Buddie Ficmas 2022! I hope you guys enjoyed this one! If anyone wants to be tagged for the future Buddie Ficmas posts, let me know and I would love to tag you. And as always, thanks for reading <3
#buddie#buddie ficmas#911 buddie#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#eddie diaz#buck buckley#evan buckley x eddie diaz#evan buckley/eddie diaz#buck x eddie#buck/eddie#eddie x buck#edmundo diaz#911#911 fandom#911 fic#911 fanfic#9-1-1 fanfiction#9-1-1#buddie fandom#fluff#christmas#buddie christmas#911 christmas#christopher diaz#chris diaz#bobby nash#911 chimney#henrietta wilson
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Prompt: eddie diaz + seasonal allergies?? If u want
((I hope you like this anon!))
***
The allergy season was here and with it came Eddie’s misery. He had been sneezing and coughing all morning, lying up in bed, with a box of tissues and a bottle of Vicks. His eyes were so swollen that he could barely see and his nose was so stuffed that he couldn’t smell anything. In short, he was miserable.
Right now, all he wanted was to cuddle with his boyfriend and complain but Buck annoyingly was missing from their bed, busy doing God knows what. Eddie wanted to call out to Buck but his voice was scratchy and sore from all the coughing.
Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long. Buck was soon there with a tray. He smiled as he sat the tray down on the dresser, and then came around to Eddie and kissed his forehead. "Sit up, I brought you soup," he told Eddie and fluffed up the pillows behind him after Eddie sat up.
"I thought you were coming back to bed." Eddie most definitely did not whine.
"Let's get some food and antihistamines in you first and then we can cuddle," Buck told him.
Buck brought the tray over to Eddie and sat it down in front of him.
"Egg drop soup?" Eddie sniffled as he looked up at his boyfriend. He wasn't sure it was the allergies that were making him teary-eyed.
"Yeah, I know it's your favorite," Buck replied and kissed the top of his head before sitting next to him on the bed. "Now have your soup." He chuckled as he turned on the tv and wrapped an arm around Eddie's shoulders.
Eddie had the soup but he couldn't taste anything because of his stuffed nose. He kept going, though. Buck had made the soup for him after all.
"You don't have to finish that if you're not feeling up to it," Buck assured him as he picked up the bottle of Vicks and rubbed it on Eddie's exposed chest.
"Thanks," Eddie said both for the Vicks and the soup. He took the antihistamines, and then gave the tray to Buck, who put it aside before getting back into bed. "Did Christopher get to school okay?" Eddie asked, as he lay his head down on Buck's chest and wrapped an arm around his middle.
"Yeah, he did," Buck replied as he wrapped his arm around Eddie's shoulders again. "He has that big test today. Poor guy was so nervous."
"Shit, I forgot about that." Eddie panicked a little and pulled away. "I always help him study for his tests."
"That's okay." Buck calmed him down and pulled him back in. "I helped him study."
"But you don't have your magical Math powers anymore," Eddie couldn't help but tease.
"Funny," Buck said sarcastically. "I helped him with my normal Math powers. Besides, he didn't need much of my help, anyway."
"Thanks, Buck," Eddie said appreciatively. "I've always been alone with my awful allergies and worried Christopher who didn't know what to do. But now with you..." he trailed off, leaving the words unsaid.
"I'm always here for you, baby," Buck assured him and kissed the top of his head again.
Eddie smiled and felt grateful for Buck's comfort and care. He stayed with his head on Buck's bare chest. He kissed right below one of the nipples and closed his eyes, feeling the tension ease off his body. "I love you, Buck."
"I love you too, baby boy," Buck replied and turned around, wrapping both arms around Eddie, and holding him close.
***
((Send me an ask or a message if you have any Buddie fic requests! My only requirement is that the plot be Eddie centric))
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 on fox#911 on abc#911 abc#911 fox#fluff#fanfiction#aashnas drabble
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You have such great insights about Eddie Diaz and his parents! I was watching another show where a man was telling his young son that he needed to be the man of the house while he was away because his mother was struggling with depression. The shows a couple decades old, and the spirit of this interaction was not intended to be toxic and was portrayed as “sweet.” On the same show, one of the female characters was telling her daughter that if something happened to her, she would have to take care of her father. But no child, male or female, should have that idea put in their head, even if it is meant to be symbolic (because let’s face it, a child’s not going to suddenly learn to drive before their time or start paying bills!). Very few, if any, children under 17 have the emotional intelligence or capacity to shoulder an adult’s burden, no matter how “mature” they might seem. I think Ramon’s behavior is indicative of a pattern of parenting that was just sadly common in the 90s, and still might be in some families. But good on him for trying to correct it. It is Helena’s turn right now, I know we’ve had limited screen time of her, but she epitomizes toxic femininity IMHO
Hi Nonnie! Oh, thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate them SO much! And I’m so happy you like my views on Eddie. They’re just my own, and people like @gatergirl add their own invaluable insights, so I’m really grateful to everyone talking to me about our fave boys! ^u^
I’m wondering whether you wouldn’t mind telling me which show it is? I’m just so curious if I might have come across it. On the one hand, it sounds familiar. On the other hand, you’re right and it was a very common mentality in older TV show, films and books, just this idea that a kid stepping in for an absent parent is a wonderfully mature step. I think the movie Finding Neverland does a decent job at deconstructing that idea and pointing out that the moment a kid actually has to do that, they have something stolen from them for good. A piece of childhood and of innocence that they will never get back, a sense of security, of being protected by their parents, that’s gone forever. And now I’m thinking of little Eddie forced into that position (and in a different way, Buck as well, since without an actual parent, and Maddie only being able to step in to a degree, he also kinda had to become a bit of his own parent) and my heart breaks all over again.
I’ve not heard the term “toxic femininity” before, but I think we can all instinctively get what it means, and I agree with you so much. It would explain so much about Eddie’s mother, for example it would be a part of why she was giving Shannon a hard time, ‘coz Shannon was “failing” her “duties” as a wife and mother in Helena’s eyes. And then without that feminine mother figure there, Helena wouldn’t be able to conceive how her son would be able to raise Christopher on his own, let alone do it well. Which also fits with why in 315, it very much felt like she was the one leading the Diaz parents’ charge on their son and the pressure to hand over Chris. This POV really makes me wanna see some insights and a breakthrough on Helena’s part even more.
Thank you so much for sharing your own thought about Eddie with us, lovely Nonnie! Hope you have a good day! And as always, here is my ask tag! xoxox)
#buddie#911meta#buddie meta#911 meta#9-1-1#evan buckley#eddie diaz#edmundo diaz#evan buck buckley#christopher diaz#diaz parents#helena diaz#ramon diaz#ask#anon ask#fandom love#kindness#thank you!#<3333#911onabc#911 on abc#911abc#911 abc
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Buck and Eddie's Relationship: Is It Queerbaiting?
This is going to be a relatively long article with my thoughts on whether queerbaiting really exists on 911 and whether such a presentation of a bisexual couple harms the community.
I don't want to argue about whether this show has queerbaiting. Undoubtedly, there are some factors that correspond to this marketing technique.
two guys raise the son of one of them
call each other best friends
don't have restrictions on personal space for each other
stare at each other like newlyweds
It is, and no one - not one - no none can deny it. There's a chemistry between Buck and Eddie that we feel on an almost physical level. And for this, actors get aggression for queerbaiting. Although, in fact, it should be aimed at screenwriters.
But I don't wanna talk about that. I want to talk about why I don't think Buck and Eddie's relationship is queerbaiting.
There's a concept of unvoiced feelings in fanfiction, and I think it is. Let us consider in more detail the main character-forming moments from the life of guys.
This is Evan Buckley.
Evan Buckley is 26 years old. Evan Buckley loves sex. Evan Buckley wants to try to build a relationship, but starts it off the wrong way - first sex, then a phone number and a date. Evan Buckley isn't a bad guy, he simply didn’t have a parent who would teach him to communicate with women, to appreciate them. He wasn’t taught to build relationships. His examples of relationships in childhood and adolescence (when the frontal lobes are forming) are parents who are too grieving to see that their living son needs them more than the dead one. And the sister who left for her husband, and from sunny Maddie Buckley, turned into a broken Maddie Kendall. Evan Buckley doesn't know how to be in a relationship.
Then he has Abby - it seems that this is his first serious relationship. And let's be honest, he's growing as a person. He respects Abby, takes care of her and her mother, supports them, makes them laugh and is just always there. And then Abby leaves. She doesn’t even leave him, but just leaves, and for several months Buck cherishes a ghostly chance for the return of the old relationship and the happiness that they had. And then Evan Buckley gives up. But it continues to grow.
He has other girls, but none of them accepts him for who he is: with his work, character, attitude towards family, friends and himself. Of course, you cannot be completely satisfied in your partner, but immediately trying to change him for yourself - this shouldn't exist.
This is Eddie Diaz.
Eddie Diaz has a son with a form of disability. Eddie Diaz went through the war and outlived many of his acquaintances. Eddie Diaz and his disabled son were abandoned by his wife, who cut off all ties for several years. Eddie Diaz is a wonderful father who takes his son on a West Coast adventure in hopes of changing their lives.
Eddie misses Shannon. Christopher misses Shannon. And I'm sure that as a child, Chris often asked at first where his mother was and why she wasn't coming back. And every time Eddie Diaz's heart broke from the words "she doesn't love me?" or "mommy just doesn't want to see me anymore?" And Christopher asked, because at his age, children measure everything by their own measure.
And then Shannon comes back. And it's damn hard for Eddie to pretend that there weren't those years of silence from his wife. That she didn't go anywhere. His broken a few years ago heart cannot believe that if he let Shannon back into their life, she'll remain and will always be with them.
“A broken pot can still hold water” - the amazing devil “pray”
And Eddie gradually begins to trust her with himself and his son. And then they both lose Shannon for the second time. Forever and ever. And again they are left alone, although she promised to always be with them. Of course, it's not her fault that she died. But when you lose a person, at some point, grief changes to anger. "You promised not to leave me!" and so on.
Eddie Diaz has years of service in Afghanistan behind him. In civilian life, Eddie Diaz gets shot at (such horrible sounds, he heard them in the service). Eddie Diaz has taken hostage (the feeling of fear and panic is almost like when they were under siege). Eddie Diaz finds himself buried alive under 12 feet of earth while rescuing a boy his son's age because he hopes that if he isn't there, someone will save Christopher (sand gets in his mouth and eyes, just like in the Afghan desert). For three whole minutes of his life, Eddie Diaz looks at his best friend, dying from the inside, and thinks that his most beloved person in the world died during the tsunami, and he was not to save. He saved others (it turns out that he put the life of his son below the life of a stranger?). Of course, he didn't, of course Christopher survived and escaped with nightmares, but for the whole three minutes of his life Eddie thought differently and tried not to die from a broken heart.
Eddie Diaz enters Evan Buckley's life at a time when he feels like his life is falling apart. That he's not good enough for Abby to stay and let Buck make her happy. He doesn't feel like he's good enough for Abby to believe that together with Buck, they can get through everything in her life. And of course Evan Buckley is wonderful and deserves the whole world, but now he doesn't believe in it, because again he wasn't important enough to stay with him.
Evan Buckley enters Eddie Diaz's life at a moment of stress from moving and the beginning of a new life for him and his young son. Eddie begins to associate Evan Buckley with a new beginning, a new life. He bursts into the lives of both of Diaz with a burst of laughter and his brightest smile. Evan finds a common language with little Chris, becomes for him the same parental figure as Eddie is. Buck cares for and raises Christopher along with Eddie. Not so much because he has feelings for Eddie and not because he pities the disabled child. But because Evan Buckley is a good man, perhaps the best in the life of the Diaz family.
They met each other in difficult moments of their lives, experienced the most terrible trials together, and they continue to hold on to each other, because they feel boundless understanding and trust.
And it certainly started with friendship. Strong and forgiving, about which books are written, and which one can only dream of. And then it develops into something more, and it seems to me that they themselves are not understand, at some point they stop looking at each other as at a friend. That is why none of them makes an obvious first step towards.
Once again, there are no clear first steps. Perhaps for each of them, those words and moments that they create together mean the first step, but it’s too scary to openly talk about feelings.
When you like your best friend, you begin to see his every word and action romantically. Even if it wasn't meant to be. And you're scared because you're afraid to misunderstand and let yourself cross the line of friendship. But what if your friend was just acting normal, but your loving mind decided to treat the situation as if the feelings were mutual? Self-deception and false hope. What if you decide that your feelings are mutual and take the first step towards meeting, and this turns out to be a fall in love brain perception error? Friendship will be destroyed. Not immediately, of course. But tension and awkwardness will snowball until it crushes both of them. It hurts when your dearest person doesn't love you back. It hurts when you can't return the feelings of your dearest person. This is a double-edged sword, and this situation hurts everyone. Of course, your feelings may be mutual and everything will be fine, but what if not? What if the confession destroys the friendship and takes the person closest to you? Both parties will feel guilty, but no one will really be guilty.
“No one will never fight for my son as hard as you. that is what I want for him“ - s4ep13.
“There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you“ - s3ep3.
And this means that he infinitely trusts Evan in every sense. Because Eddie trusts him with the most precious thing in his life: his son. And Evan may like to think that Eddie's attitude towards him has changed towards romance, but he is afraid that this is just an illusion. Eddie only meant what he said: Buck is his best friend, and his best friend can be trusted with everything.
Buck spends hours looking for the missing Christopher in hysterics. Dive to pain in temples and burning in lungs. He does not notice the water and how heavy the debris that he removes to find little Christopher. He screams the name of the child until his voice is hoarse, in a panic rushes to every person he meets on the ruined coast in the hope of hearing that Christopher was seen alive and well, and now Buck will be able to hug him and exhale - Christopher is alive. And every time he sees similar hair, height, clothes, he rushes to the person, praying that it was Christopher. And every time his heart breaks when it's not him. Evan rushes around the camps, forces himself to look into the black bags, but Christopher is still missing.
Evan meets Eddie in a moment of desperation. He needs to be told that he lost Chris. That it was his fault for not keeping an eye on Eddie's baby. That Eddie lost his son to Evan. And of course Christopher is fine and after just a couple of minutes of talking he is already in the arms of his father. But Evan thought all day that Chris died because of him. The child he raised, whom he probably perceived as his son.
Of course everything is getting better. And they go through all the difficulties together, but they only unite them. And this makes the possibility of losing each other because of three words even more scary.
Eddie doesn't know how Buck looks at him when Diaz isn't looking.
He doesn't know how Buck panics when Eddie is in danger. He doesn't know how Buck dug the ground with his hands, although he knew for sure that he could not reach the man through 12 feet of earth. He doesn't know how Evan's heart broke when he found Eddie in a ruined room in tears and panic. Eddie doesn't know how willing Evan is to die for Eddie. He doesn't know how much Evan Buckley loves him.
And Evan doesn't know how Eddie looks at him when Buck isn't looking. He doesn't know how grateful he is for Christopher's smile. Evan doesn't know how happy Eddie is to see the smile on Evan's face. Evan doesn't know how strong Eddie's belief is that he can forgive Buck for literally anything.
And Evan is trying to add a touch of romance to his words and actions. Hoping that if Eddie like him too, then Diaz will realize that Evan is in love with him and say that it's mutual. And then everything will be fine.
But Eddie, who likes Evan so much, is scared that it's just his loving mind deciding to take every smile, look, and touch in a romantic context. So Eddie just adds a touch of romance to his words and actions. Hoping that if Evan likes him too, then Buckley will realize that Eddie is in love with him and say that it is mutual. And then everything will be fine.
And this vicious circle is inextricable. They both found each other at the moment when they were alone. Therefore, I think it is incredibly scary for both of them to feel rejected, abandoned and unnecessary again. And I think that's why their relationship revolves around innuendo and doesn't move forward. It's very scary. And we've all experienced it at some point.
In addition to a completely justified fear, we should not forget this: even if it’s the 21st century, we don’t know how our environment will react to the fact that your loved one and you are of the same sex. It's one thing when your friends make gay jokes or tease you about your friend. But another thing is the fear of how they will react to the fact of the relationship, and not just a joke about them. It's the same with parents. When you make coming-out, there is a big risk of losing a good relationship with your parents. They may love you but not accept the fact that LGBT is not a disease. Just because they've been told otherwise all their lives.
I'm bisexual and asexual myself. And I'm not afraid to talk about it to friends or, if the subject comes up, to strangers in a bar. I'm not afraid of their reaction, I can stand up for myself. In addition, I quickly and painlessly cross out people I don’t like from my life. I just can't attached with people. But! I still haven't told my parents that I had relationships with girls because I know that I will lose my parents' good attitude. Of course, I know that over time they will accept me for who I am, even if they do not understand. But the months or even years it will take for them to accept - it scares me. But there are other parents who can disown their children for this.
I think Buck (even though he says he doesn't need parents) is afraid to feel like a disappointment to his mom and dad again. And Eddie is probably afraid of being judged and that they will try to "fix" him, because his family looks quite traditional (and he also has a bad relationship with his parents).
Often in movies, we are shown how characters fall in love, and this is almost always mutual. If this is not the case, then the rejected person quickly switches to another person, and now, after a couple of weeks, he deeply in love with a new person. As if there were no those months or years of torment by unexpressed feelings.
In 911, we see relationships as they are in real life: awkward, reckless, intimidating. They give an ocean of emotions, and these emotions are not always positive. In 911, we see how people face the fear of rejection every day and choose to try to live the way other people live.
It's not queerbaiting, it's a different way of looking at the situation. I love it when the characters talk openly about their feelings to each other, when the writers introduce open LGBT characters. And it's right. But we should not forget about those of us who are afraid to speak about themselves and their feelings because their environment isn't understanding enough. We must not forget the people who choose a long life of safety over a short life that can be interrupted by an aggressive man on the street at night or a religious father with anger issues. Such people need to see that their love for another person is still real feelings, their sense of calm from the person next to them and the joint upbringing of a child is still a family, and sometimes you don’t need to talk about love in order to just love.
And I'm sure that the relationship between Buck and Eddie will develop further and at some point they will become a couple, they will live together and openly talk to each other about love. In the meantime, we are shown the development of the characters in the way that the relationship of real men would develop, whose hearts have been broken a million times, and who have experienced more than a person can bear and not go crazy.
We'll get everything we want, but it takes time. So I think the characters should get all our love. And also actors should receive our love, because their acting skills are at the highest level.
And the pairing fans need to stop cyberbullying Oliver Stark because he's acting out the script, and the only ones to blame for the relationship taking so long are the show's management team.
This shouldn't exist. He is a wonderful actor and a wonderful person. No one should feel or hear that.
#buck 911#eddie 911#buddie911#911onfox#evan buckley#eddie diaz#edmundo diaz#evan buck buckley#christopher diaz#buck and eddie#eddie and christopher#buck end christopher#incorrect118#text post#oliver stark#911 show#my work#my thoughts
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@911week 2020 - favorite character (day two)
↳ christopher diaz
#911week2020#christopher diaz#eddie diaz#diaz family feels#tv: 911#911 on fox#911 fox#sorry this is late#but i thought christopher diaz needed some appreciation#hes the best#legends only#my free choice is eddie diaz appreciation stay tuned#maddie makes things
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In which Eddie assumes creative control over Christopher's dorm room.
Read this chapter and the rest of the interior designer!Eddie verse on ao3!
XXI
“Buck, I thought you said you talked to him.”
“I did, Chris.”
“He brought his custom measuring tape. It’s freaking out my roommate.”
Buck winces, eyes drifting to where Eddie is scouting the perimeter of the room, jotting down dimensions in his mini travel binder, muttering under his breath. Andre, Christopher’s roommate, had made the egregious error of mentioning his interest in a loft bed within earshot of Eddie. Said roommate is now huddled in the corner of the room, wide eyes following Eddie as he commandeers the space.
Christopher whacks Buck’s shin lightly with one of his crutches, pinning him with an unimpressed stare. “Buck.”
“What do you want me to do about it, Chris?”
“Something. Anything. Please.”
Buck huffs, pats Christopher’s shoulder, and then approaches his husband.
He clears his throat. “Hey, Ed.”
Eddie has a pencil wedged between his teeth, but he grunts in response as he slides the tape measure up the wall.
“You’re, ah . . . you’re kind of making a scene.”
He presses the button to retract the tape measure, jots down a few notes, tucks the pencil behind his ear, and turns to face Buck. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, this isn't HGTV. This is a freshman dorm room.”
“Andre mentioned he wanted a loft. Somebody has to make sure all these puzzle pieces fit together.”
“Right,” he says, slowly, “but maybe this is something Andre and Chris need to talk about together, considering they’ll be the ones living here?”
Eddie purses his lips, brows furrowing, like this doesn’t compute fully in his brain.
“I appreciate the help, Mr. Diaz,” Andre pipes up, wringing his hands. “But, I think I’m gonna ditch the loft idea. Just stick with the bed as is.”
“You sure?” Eddie flips through the binder. “It’ll be a tight fit, but I think it would leave enough room for everything if you wanna go that route.”
“No, I’m sure. Thank you, though.”
Eddie shrugs, and Buck exchanges a relieved glance with Christopher, who sidles up to his father and nudges him with his shoulder.
“We have some orientation stuff soon, Dad. Maybe we can pick this up tomorrow?”
Buck tries to ignore the flash of heartbreak across Eddie’s face, because if he doesn’t, he’ll start thinking about weeks and months on end at home without Christopher to liven up the place, and he’ll completely fall apart. As it is, he steals his face into something passably brave and steps up behind Chris, planting his hands on his shoulders. “We need to check into the hotel anyway, Ed,” he says. “And Chris needs some time to acclimate.”
Eddie’s eyes flicker around the space, his fingers fidgeting with his tape measure. “Fine,” he relents. “We’ll be back tomorrow. Target trip. So put your game face on, okay?”
Buck can’t think about the fact that it's the last Saturday Shopping Extravaganza they’ll all three have together for a while.
It takes another five minutes to usher Eddie out the door, but Buck manages to pry him away from the dorm building and drive them to the hotel. They order Thai food and pick up a six pack of beers and put on a trashy C grade horror movie. There isn’t much conversation. Eddie drops his head on Buck’s shoulder and Buck runs his fingers up and down his arm and it’s a weight, all around them. A privileged weight that Buck gets to feel, a weight that means he has Christopher, that he has all of this, his family, but even love can be heavy sometimes.
They migrate to the bed a little after eleven. Eddie’s laptop is charging on the nightstand, and he has his mini white binder in his lap on top of the duvet. Buck feels the first tiny prick of restlessness against the periphery of his awareness, derived from the knowledge that Christopher isn’t within arm’s reach, isn’t just sleeping down the hall.
He drops his phone against his chest, staring at the ceiling. “It’s weird.”
Eddie hums beside him. “What’s weird?”
“The . . . silence.”
And Buck doesn’t have to explain, because Eddie gets it. They understand each other in the way that partners who love each other fiercely, and who love the same kid even more so, do.
He reaches across the space and tangles his fingers through Eddie’s free hand, the one not scribbling through his notebook. “What are you working on?”
Eddie’s tongue pokes out, runs along his bottom lip. “Gotta make sure his room is perfect. That he’ll have everything he needs.”
“He’ll be alright, Ed. You raised him right.”
At that Eddie smiles, nudging Buck under the blankets with his foot. “I guess you didn’t do too bad a job yourself.”
“You guess.”
“Always room for improvement, you know what I say.”
“Mmhm.” He draws their intertwined hands onto his stomach and sets his phone on the table, switches his light off, and searches for a comfortable position against the pillows. “Don’t stay up too late, okay?”
“I won’t.”
And Buck won’t call him out on it, but he wakes up at least three times during the night, and Eddie is wide awake for each of them, pencil clutched in a death grip, gaze pouring into his binder.
After four hours in Target, they find themselves situated in Christopher’s dorm room. Christopher had, apparently, warned Andre ahead of time, so he’s spending the evening with his parents and handing all creative control over to Christopher, and by extension Eddie.
Buck settles into the desk chair and Christopher pulls himself to sit atop the desk, both of them watching Eddie navigate the space.
“You did warn your roommate that his design choices will be overridden, right?” Buck asks.
Christopher huffs. “It was the second thing out of my mouth. ‘Hi, nice to meet you, my name is Christopher. And just so you know, my Dad is a lunatic and already planned the layout of the room.’ You should have seen the way he looked at me, Buck.”
“Your dad was very proud of himself,” Buck smiles, following Eddie’s sharp, deliberate movements about the space. He finishes setting up what he affectionately dubbed the Cuisine Corner, with a Keurig next to a microwave, both resting on a dark wood crate with the snacks stored inside, and takes a step back to admire his work with his hands on his hips.
The two beds are shoved against opposite walls, and Eddie even bought a comforter to color coordinate with the one Andre had brought with him. The shag rug somehow looks trendy and not tacky. Both desks are ornamented and positioned catty-corner to the beds, leaving enough space for a floor lamp in the gap behind the desk. In the weeks leading up to Christopher’s move, Eddie had imposed a self-seminar on minimalism and the Illusion of Space, and Buck would never admit it outloud, but it had definitely paid off.
Christopher waits until Eddie leaves to retrieve something in the car before saying, “Hey, Buck?”
“Mmhm?”
“I know you will, but . . . just take care of Dad, okay? He’s probably not gonna take this well.”
“I’m not gonna take this well, Superman.”
He rolls his eyes, smiling. “You know what I mean.”
Buck tips over just enough to rest his head against Christopher’s side, and his son’s arm snakes around his shoulders. “Don’t worry about your dad, Chris. I got him handled.”
Buck parks the truck in the driveway at around ten o’clock that night. The both of them just sit there, for a moment, letting the new silence reshape around them. Eddie’s head digs into the seat behind him, eyes shut, hands balled into fists in his lap.
Buck watches his own hands, white-knuckled where they wrap around the steering wheel.
“He has everything he needs, right?” Eddie murmurs, without opening his eyes.
Buck swallows hard. “Yeah, he does.”
“We didn’t forget anything?”
“We didn’t forget anything.”
“Okay. Good. Good.” Another breath, one, two more, and then he turns his head to look at Buck. In a quiet, small voice, he whispers, “I miss him already.”
Buck grabs his hand and kisses his knuckles. “Me, too.”
Eventually they slide out of the truck. Buck slings their shared overnight bag over his shoulder and they march up the walkway to the house. Eddie unlocks the door, and they kick off their shoes, flick on the lights, exist together in a way that feels slightly to the left of normal. Eddie mumbles something about changing into more comfortable clothes, and hunches toward the bedroom. Buck leaves the overnight bag in the foyer and enters the kitchen, trying to think of something quick and painless to put together for dinner.
When he hits the light, he stops in his tracks at the familiar white binder laid open on the counter.
His first thought is that Eddie left it open from one of his many pre-sending-Christopher-to-university spirals, but upon closer inspection he discovers a note tacked to the page, covered in Christopher’s loopy scrawl.
Eddie pads up behind him, the creaking floor disclosing his presence. “Did I leave my binder out?”
“No . . . baby, come here.”
Eddie wraps his arms around Buck from behind, propping his chin on his shoulder. “What am I looking at?”
The paper is wrinkled and torn, and Buck hasn’t thought about it in . . . five years, maybe more. Not since Eddie originally drafted the idea. It was around the time they moved into their new house. There was an oddly-shaped room tacked onto the back of the house, like an afterthought, and Eddie had overflowed with an overabundance of Pinterest board deep-dives and manic late-night Target visits to come up with the perfect outdoor room that he’d always wanted to make for himself, whenever he finally had a mortgage and not a lease. Of course, life got in the way, and then college loomed closer, and the Outdoor Room Fund became Christopher’s College Fund, and the sheet of paper was ripped out of the binder to make room for more feasible projects, and ultimately forgotten.
Well, not forgotten entirely.
Buck holds up the note so they both can read it.
Dads,
Thanks for always being there for me, and for not being mad that I want to go to college, even though it’s expensive and the house will be so boring without me. I found this in the trash all those years ago and kept it. You’ve done so much for me, and I’ll be okay, so do something for yourself. Love you guys.
-Chris
Buck resolutely does not cry, but he is very, very close.
Eddie tightens his arms around Buck’s waist, and they rock gently in the kitchen, reading over the note, looking at Eddie’s old design page for the outdoor room.
“We could go to the store tomorrow, get breakfast after,” Eddie suggests. “Make a date out of it.”
The AC clicks on in the background, and a dull hum percolates through the space. “Only if you quit being stingy and buy me that coffee I like.”
“Deal.”
Buck smiles, and turns around to wrap himself around his husband, who still smells like the evergreen air freshener in the truck, and like the taco stand they stopped by on the way home for a snack. “We’re gonna be okay, right?”
“Yeah.” Eddie presses a kiss to Buck’s neck. “We’re gonna be okay.”
#kitkat writes#buddie#a drabble#interior designer!eddie#happy buddie breakdown friday to all who celebrate
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“I felt it shelter to speak to you.” for Buddie
This was...not supposed to be this long but all the recent promo content has been...inspiring. Anyway...on ao3 here.
The first attack happens on a Saturday afternoon.
There’s nothing special about the day, nothing strange. Christopher is at a friend’s birthday party, Buck is off somewhere with Taylor, and Eddie is grocery shopping before he’s meant to meet Ana for an early dinner.
His shoulder aches a little—that’s what he notices first—but that’s not too unusual. It happens sometimes. Even as physical therapy has helped him regain strength and mobility in his arm and shoulder, a high caliber sniper round ripping through his upper chest is no minor injury. Plus, while he’s hardly ancient, he’s not even as young as he was when he was shot the first time, and those bullets left behind their own patches of scar tissue and occasional twinges.
So. His shoulder aches. It’s fine. He ignores it and moves on. Goes through the store, checks out, put his bags in the backseat—
There’s a glare off a window in the apartment building across the street.
Eddie reaches for the handle of his door.
Suddenly, his fingers start tingling, uncomfortable pricks of icy numbness traveling up his hands like they’ve fallen asleep, but shaking them out doesn’t help. And then, without warning, pain lances through his chest, sharp and acute, and he can’t breathe properly, as if his torso has been trapped in a vise that’s slowly tightening more and more.
His vision swims. He sways on his feet, grasping at the door handle with clumsy, numb fingers to keep himself upright.
He feels like—he feels—
He feels like he’s dying. It strikes him with sudden clarity. He’s dying. Dying in a random parking lot—he always assumed he was too young to have a heart attack but the symptoms fit and he’s just—
He can’t. He can’t die. Not when he’s survived everything else. This can’t be—
“Sir?” There’s a woman with a station wagon parked in the space next to his truck and she’s looking at him with no small amount of concern. “Are you okay?”
Eddie’s mouth is so dry and his breathing so irregular that it takes him a moment to respond.
“I—I think I need to go to the hospital,” he grits out as another wave of dizziness threatens to send him to his knees.
She calls 911. Eddie spares a moment to be grateful that the paramedics who show up a few minutes later aren’t from the 118.
As it turns out, he’s not dying. And he didn’t have a heart attack.
“A panic attack?” Eddie’s voice is distant to his own ears as he stares at the ER doctor in disbelief, his stomach flipping with a new kind of dread. “Are you sure?”
“Your symptoms resolved on their own and your EKG is normal, Mr. Diaz,” she replies as she flicks through the screens of his chart on her tablet. “And nothing in your prior history or other recent tests indicates that there’s anything physically wrong with you—you were healthy before you were shot and your recovery has progressed smoothly up to this point.”
She pauses and looks back at him. “Have you...spoken to a therapist? I noticed that your treating physician made a referral for counseling when you were originally discharged, but…”
Eddie clears his throat roughly. “Yeah, no, I, uh...with the PT schedule and everything else going on, I never followed up with that. But I’ve been fine. It never seemed necessary.”
“With all due respect, Mr. Diaz,” the doctor says, “you’re in the emergency room because of an acute stress response in which your brain tricked your body into believing you were in danger to such an extent that you thought you were dying. I’m not sure you’re as fine as you think.”
There’s probably some truth to that. Eddie can admit that much. But that doesn’t mean he needs—he’s been shot before. He’s been in a warzone. He didn’t need therapy to move forward from it then and he shouldn’t now. He can—he can handle this. He can make himself get over it.
He’s already spent months leaning heavily on everyone around him. The thought of not being okay, of asking for more help when he’s finally easing back into working, when things are finally getting back to normal, when they all have their own issues to focus on—
God, it makes him want to throw up.
So...no. He’s okay. Because not being okay isn’t an option.
He’s fine. The panic attack was...a fluke.
“I appreciate the advice,” Eddie says finally. “I’ll think about it.”
He can tell the doctor doesn’t believe him when her lips thin.
“You know, more likely than not, the panic attacks will keep happening if you do nothing,” she points out. “Ignoring this won’t make it go away.”
“I understand,” Eddie replies. “If that’s all, does that mean I can get out of here?”
The doctor sighs. “Sure.”
Eddie’s phone rings while he’s in an Uber on the way back to his truck. It’s Ana.
He swears under his breath as he sees the time—he hadn’t called anyone, hadn’t wanted the hospital to call anyone either, but that means he’s now late for a date that he doesn’t really want to keep after everything and further doesn’t leave him with any good excuses for his absence except the truth which...he doesn’t really want to admit.
Before the shooting, Carla told him to make sure he was following his heart. And he’s been too exhausted and focused on his recovery to really think too hard about that. But now—
For a moment, Eddie considers it. Telling Ana the truth. Showing her some of the dark, messy, ugly pieces of himself. Being vulnerable.
The very idea makes him recoil. Not because he thinks she would run away necessarily, but because he just...can’t.
He can’t. Not with her.
And if he’s that uncomfortable with the idea of letting in someone he’s been dating for over half a year, if he can’t imagine himself ever actually being comfortable with that...then what the hell is he doing?
He calls her back when he gets to his truck.
“Hey—I’m so sorry, I had a little emergency—yeah, everything’s fine now, but I’m not sure I’m up for going out. Can I meet you at your place? ...okay, great. See you soon.”
He may know even less about ending a relationship than he does about dating in general, but he figures he at least owes it to her to end things in person.
*
Eddie goes to work on Monday feeling fine. Great, even. He sleeps well the night before, he gets Christopher off to school on time, traffic is light enough that he gets to the station early—
Everything is fine. By all accounts it should be a good day.
At least, that’s what he thinks right up until all of them get different emergency alerts sent to their phones and they find out the city’s systems have been hacked. From that point forward, everything is chaos. Damage control. Twenty-car pile-ups because stoplights are being messed with, an outbreak of animals from the zoo when the electric locks on their enclosures released—
Eddie’s fine though. He’s fine. It’s nothing he can’t handle—in fact, he’s usually great with chaos. He’s focused and sure and capable. Nothing else matters but the work, certainly not himself. When he’s busy, he has no time to think about anything else.
The gradually worsening tension in his shoulders can be ignored. The way he has to clench his hands into fists to keep them from shaking in a way he hasn’t had to do since his earliest days in Afghanistan can be brushed off. He doesn’t have time to think about anything but the jobs in front of him, which means he doesn’t have time to think about his own state.
Brush it off, pick yourself up, keep moving forward. That’s what he knows, that’s what he can do.
Except, then they end up at the hospital and—
A medevac helicopter falls off the roof. Bobby nearly joins it. Buck and Eddie barely manage to get him back.
A cold sweat breaks out on Eddie’s brow as Bobby leans heavily against the wall next to the roof access door to catch his breath. His stomach roils. He doesn’t feel fully connected to his own body, caught somehow between present and past, a rooftop in Los Angeles and a desert in Afghanistan.
He breathes in. He tamps down on the rising panic.
Bobby is fine. The helicopter pilots and their patient are fine.
He’s fine. He’s fine.
“Are you okay?”
Eddie jumps at the question, his head whipping around to find the source. Buck’s brow furrows as he holds up his hands.
“Sorry,” Buck says quietly. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”
Eddie swallows hard and shakes his head. “You’re fine, don’t worry about it.”
He glances toward the door. “You know, I think I’m going to head back down,” he says, hoping Buck won’t notice the fact that he hasn’t answered the original question. “I want to make sure the pilots are holding up alright.”
“I can come—” Buck starts to offer, only for Eddie to cut him off.
“Someone should stay with Bobby,” he replies. He forces a smile as Buck’s eyes search his face. “I’ll be fine.”
Buck glances at Bobby, then back to Eddie before he finally nods.
“Okay,” he says. “But here, take the radio. If anything happens—”
“I’ll let you know.”
Eddie makes it down one flight of stairs before he decides to take the elevator the rest of the way down. The numbers on the top of the doors tick down, down, down—
And then, abruptly, the elevator lurches to a halt, throwing Eddie off balance and into the wall as the lights go out, plunging him into total darkness.
His ears ring from the impact.
He’s trapped. Trapped in a metal box in the dark. A box that could easily become a coffin if the emergency stop failed and sent it careening down to crash at the bottom of the elevator shaft.
Eddie’s breathing speeds up against his will. His chest starts to hurt.
Not again, he thinks vaguely. Not here, not now, not again.
But. He can’t move. He can’t breathe. Some distant part of his mind recognizes that what he’s feeling isn’t real, that he just needs to calm down, but he can’t—
He’s going to die. He’s going to—
The radio crackles in his belt.
“Eddie? Eddie! Can you hear me?”
Eddie’s mind latches onto the sound of Buck’s voice like a lifeline in an ocean of distress. It takes him a moment to make his trembling hands work through their numbness, to remind his fingers how to work the buttons, but eventually, he lifts the radio to his mouth.
“I’m here,” he says. His voice shakes. “I’m in the elevator. It’s—I don’t know which floor. Or if I’m between floors. I don’t—”
He shudders. His eyes close, not that it really matters given how dark the space is already.
“It’s okay,” Buck replies. “It’s okay, Eddie, we’ll find you. We’ll get you out, don’t worry.”
“I don’t want to die here.” It slips out of him before he can pull it back. Buck takes a sharp breath on the other end of the line.
“That’s not going to happen,” Buck says firmly, although his own voice seems less steady than usual. “I would never let that happen. I’ve got your back, remember? Always.”
A shudder rips down Eddie’s spine and he slides against the wall to sit on the floor. The walls still feel too restricting, like they’re closing in on him more each moment that he looks away.
The radio crackles again.
“Eddie. What can I do? What do you need?” Buck asks.
I don’t know. I don’t—I can’t—
“Eddie.” The fear and desperation in Buck’s voice cuts through the fog in Eddie’s mind.
He never wants Buck to sound like that.
“Keep talking?” Eddie replies. “I—just keep talking to me. Please?”
Don’t go, is what he really means. Stay with me.
He’s never allowed himself to say those things though. Not during the early days of the pandemic when they were sharing a bed in Buck’s loft. Not after he moved back home with Christopher and the other side of his bed felt too empty for sleep to come easily. And certainly not after he started dating Ana.
During his recovery, he never had to ask Buck for anything really. Buck was always just...there. Even though he was with Taylor, he was still there with Eddie and with Christopher whenever Eddie needed him. Like he knew somehow. Or maybe as if he needed to be there as much as Eddie needed him there.
Eddie hasn’t looked too closely at any of that. He’s not ready to. It’s too much, too complicated, too—too—
Dangerous.
“What do you want to talk about?”
Eddie swallows hard as his head rests against the wall. As he allows the sound of Buck’s voice to wrap around him like armor. Like home. Insulating him against the panic and isolation.
“Anything,” he says quietly. “Just keep talking.”
And Buck does. He talks about everything and nothing, random facts and stories from his past that Eddie hasn’t heard before, he talks and talks and talks until his voice grows hoarse in Eddie’s ear and the pressure on Eddie’s lungs eases.
Eddie exhales shakily and takes a few deep breaths as he continues to listen, as his body shifts from hyper-awareness and panic to wrung out exhaustion. When Buck finally cuts off, it’s because there’s an ugly screech of metal as the elevator doors are pried open, as light filters back in.
Eddie’s legs are unsteady as he gets to his feet. He trips on the edge of the elevator door when he exits—
Buck catches him before he can fall. Because of course he does.
“Thank you,” Eddie breathes into Buck’s shoulder as he finds his balance.
Buck shakes his head. “I promised we’d get you out, didn’t I? Besides, I—I shouldn’t have let you go alone.”
“I decided—”
“I shouldn’t have let you,” Buck repeats, low but insistent. His eyes meet Eddie’s and Eddie swallows hard.
“You weren’t okay. Were you?” Buck asks. And Eddie—
He wants to lie. Part of him does at least.
But he can’t lie to Buck.
Not to Buck.
“No,” he confesses. It’s half a whisper. “No, I wasn’t.”
Buck bites his lip and nods once.
“Okay,” he says. “We’ll figure it out.”
And somehow, Eddie believes him.
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I just. I just need to talk about Buck realising that Eddie very rarely ever does anything for himself. Rarely ever does anything because he's the one who's going to enjoy it most.
Movie nights are whatever Chris wants to watch and when Chris isn't there its whatever movie Buck spent the week rambling about wanting to see.
The truck might be the closest thing, but Eddie so clearly had Christopher's comfort and accessibility in mind because the backseats are roomy enough for spindly teenage legs, the flatbed has more than enough space for a skateboard scaffold and Chris' telescope, and there's a custom-installed ramp to aid Christopher in getting in and out.
They order Thai and Mexican most often but that's because, while Eddie does love Thai and Mexican, those two restaurants offer the most vegan options for Buck, and Eddie makes a point to rarely ever eat meat in front of him, even though Buck knows that Eddie's love affair is with the KFC a few blocks from the station.
And Buck? Buck decides that's gonna to change, and its gonna change today.
He enlists the help of the others and Eddie's family to find out what little he doesn't already know about Eddie's favorite foods, what fabrics he likes the most, what movies he loved watching growing up. He recruits Christopher as his secret spy agent because the kid is surprisingly sneaky and incredibly observant and immediately has no qualms in selling out his Dad for the greater good.
On Monday, they have a BBQ at Athena and Bobby's house. Buck proudly helps because he can actually cook now, thank you, Maddie, and Eddie arrives to more mozzarella sticks, fried chicken dippers, crispy chicken bites and breaded cheese balls than he could ever hope to eat in one day.
(There's vegan mozzarella sticks, fried tofu dippers and crispy tofu bites for Buck. Eddie gets BBQ sauce in his eye and Christopher laughs so hard he almost falls off his seat.)
Friday rolls around and Chris is more than happy to stay the night with Hen and her family so Buck and Eddie can settle down and binge the entire list of cult classics that Eddie nerded out on for his surprisingly geeky childhood, before he became Eddie The Soldier and Eddie The Father.
Eddie rarely does any activity that isn't accessible and safe for Christopher, but Buck is nothing if not determined and it takes him less than a week to collaborate with the local rink so they can all go ice skating, because Eddie loves it but the closest he's come to skating in years is when they had that call about a skate buried in a dancer's chest.
(Buck spends most of his time sprawled on the ice and is one giant bruise by the time their hour slot is over, but its totally worth it to see the way Eddie smiles the whole night.)
Buck even manages to pester the station into switching the fabric conditioner to the strawberry and lily scented one, because Eddie always complains about the powdery smell of the generic one.
Just Eddie being treated like the King he is and being able to do things/having things done for him not because its easier for everyone else, but because its what Eddie wants. What Eddie likes to do. Eddie has always put everyone else first but damnit, no longer!
Firstly thank you for this ficlet of some nice Eddie love which is coincidentally perfect timing for Eddie Diaz Week that's going on. Not participating sadly, I'm busy being backlogged a bit lately.
Buck and Christopher along with the others all loving and supporting Eddie doing what he wants and loves for a change. You're right in him doing a lot for other people and his boys would see and rope his family in to help. They'd show the Eddie that they love how much he's appreciated.
Secondly feel free to share thoughts about characters because even if I have a different headcanon it's nice to get some different perspective and views, plus might adopt yours too.
It was wonderful waking up to this in my inbox and I loved this.
Some more Eddie love in here.
Let him be taken care of by the one he loves and trusts the most. He doesn't have to always be tough and in charge with them. He's allowed to relax and live a little. They've got him and now he just needs to try doing some himself even it it's not easy. He'll take his time and they'll be right there beside him. Buck and Christopher love him so much and want to see him just as happy as he makes them and others.
Crying this morning but these are happy tears for these boys.
#Eddie Diaz Week#Eddie Diaz Week 2021#Eddie Diaz#buddie#anonymous#ask#asks#answered#ficlet#written by anonymous#by anonymous#diaz duo#Christopher Diaz#Evan Buckley#evan ‘buck’ buckley#evan 'buck' buckley
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Washed Away pt. 5
Title // Washed Away pt. 5
Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader
Warnings // Mentions of death and a missing kid.
Summary // Who knew hanging out with Buck and Christopher for a day would lead to a life or death situation?
Word Count // 2.5k
Prompt // Hi! Can i request a fic where you were with Buck & Christopher when the tsunami hit? They could be dating or crushing on each other. If nothing comes to mind, then it’s completely fine to ignore this request! Have a nice day!’
Author’s Note // This is the final part of the Washed Away series. || Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4
Tagged List // @aprildecker-blog @coffeewithoutcaffeine @daddysfavoritesexkitten @chenfordlove @comeasyoudar @carnationworld @averyhotchner @evanbuckos
The sun had set. The day was over, but that doesn’t mean the situation is. You and Buck had been wading through the water for hours, heading to the last place someone said they saw Christopher.
Exhaustion was starting to settle in. You were sore all over too. It felt like you just finished running up and down a flight of stairs non-stop while carrying a bookbag full of weights. Your shoulders hurt, your legs felt like they were going to give out any time soon, and your body was so dehydrated from soaking up and drinking in a lot of saltwater that you pretty much felt delirious.
Finally, civilization was within reach.
A makeshift help spot was set up near the bakery where you and Buck were headed. Water bottles were being passed out and you reached out to grab one. How could something so common look so precious, like it was made of gold?
You twisted off the cap and downed half of it in three big gulps and handed the rest of it to Buck. He finished off the water, nearly gasping for breath by the end. He was exhausted too. You didn’t even know how long you two were walking and the little help was most appreciated.
The people around you looked worse for wear. You couldn’t imagine the struggles they went through to try and save themselves or what their story could be. You were sure it was similar. Everyone lost someone or something in the tsunami and you knew it was going to be hard to get over that.
Then again, did you really want to?
The whole event gave you a new outlook on life and appreciate what you have. You didn’t appreciate your job enough, but you were grateful now. You were a school nurse and you realized you love those kids that you looked after. You loved Christopher, having seen him and checked on him many times thanks to his worrisome father, and it would break your heart to never see that little boy again.
Now is not the time to think about those things. You didn’t know for sure. Let’s not focus on the what ifs.
For a moment, Buck swore he saw Christopher. He saw a little boy clinging to the leg of some woman, and he let out a relieved sigh, only for his eyes to play tricks on him. It wasn’t Christopher at all.
“Mister, are you okay? You’re bleeding,” a nearby passerby said, and Buck glanced down at his hand.
Sure enough, he was.
There was a cut of some kind, and the two of you didn’t even realize it. You frowned, mentally kicking yourself and cursing yourself out for not realizing Buck’s injury. The ex-firefighter sat down, looking worse for wear and you grabbed his hand carefully while examining it.
You ripped off a strip of your shirt to use as a bandage and Buck’s eyes sort of glazed over. Due to his adrenaline, he probably wasn’t feeling any pain.
“What am I gonna do?” Buck whispered as you tended to him, “how am I gonna tell Eddie?”
You said nothing, because you knew whatever you did say wouldn’t exactly be helpful. However, you were there. Side by side, you were there with Buck and Christopher today and everything Buck did was for that little boy. You never seen someone care so much the way Buck does. He has such a good heart and for once, you were hoping against hope that things would work out in his favor. He didn’t deserve this.
After a bit of a break, including some water to get both of your heads on straight, you two were back to the grind. This time, you didn’t have to walk for long.
There was an old mall or hospital, you couldn’t be sure, that somehow turned into a makeshift triage center not too far from where you and Buck were. The two of you practically dashed over to the building and its tents, being careful since there wasn’t a lot of strength left between you.
Buck was looking in the beds, glancing around for anyone that even remotely passed Christopher. You hijacked a few clipboards, searching for Christopher’s name anywhere you can but you both came up empty.
“Eddie dropped Christopher off with me,” Buck began talking to you and you could hear the defeat in his voice. It sounded like he was fighting the feeling of giving up, but he was on the cusp. “He thought it would get me out of my apartment and… out of my head. And you know what I did? I brought him to the pier. I had him, I kept him safe. And then the three of us were on top of the ladder truck and the water receded, and for a moment I felt like I got this. I had you, I had Christopher, and we would be fine. And now Christopher is gone. We checked everywhere. And now I realize I failed. I’m a failure no matter how you look at it.”
You could hear your heart cracking as you listened to him, and you knew nothing you said would change his mind. He was beating himself up over this situation. He did everything he could, and he was still handed the short end of the stick.
Finding Christopher at the makeshift hospital was the last bit of hope he had and now it was gone. You could see the defeat that wavered in his voice and how it hid behind his eyes.
And if that didn’t help the situation, there was Eddie Diaz, tending to a few patients himself. He wore blue latex gloves, had the navy fire uniform on, and was directing a few people into the hospital. Buck nearly choked back a sob as the realization of what to do next was hitting him faster than a wall of bricks.
He had to tell Eddie, and you were going to be right by his side when he did.
However, Buck dashed behind a white tent, pulling you along with him. Turns out he wanted to hide instead of face Christopher’s father.
“Buck,” you said slowly. Your voice was hoarse from lack of water and from shouting Christopher’s name all afternoon with Buck. You felt like your vocal cords were ripped to shreds at this point, but you soldiered on. Now was not the time to accept defeat. “You have to tell him.”
“How?” Buck answered as he looked at you. His hand slowly slipped into your own, and you squeezed his fingers tightly. “How do you tell your best friend that you lost his son?”
“He’s his father. You have to tell him that Christopher is missing,” you said, knowing this was the only chance he had right now.
Buck shook his head, not wanting to hear it. “No, I need to keep looking for him. I need to find him.”
One of your hands instinctively went up to the side of Buck’s face, caressing him lightly. You still couldn’t believe the man in front of you wasn’t giving up just yet, even though maybe he should. You hated the train of thought you were currently on, but Buck was exhausted, and he lost some blood. Plus, it didn’t help that he was severely dehydrated, much like yourself. The two of you were in no condition to continue searching. You probably wouldn’t make it if you tried. You both needed to rest up and regain your strength.
“Buck,” you heard the voice before you saw who it belonged to and your head whipped around to see Eddie. The man was heading outside to continue helping and he looked a bit surprised to see his best friend standing there. Then his eyes fell on you, and the look of surprise seemed to double. “Nurse Y/N, what are you both doing here? Are you okay? Wait, where’s Christopher?”
There was no time to prepare a giant speech. Eddie Diaz was right there in front of you both, and it was now or never. You let go of Buck as you turned to face the father of one of your favorite patients, ready for what was about to happen. This was a conversation you were dreading, and you couldn’t imagine the internal conflicts Buck must be going through as he mustered up the courage to say what happened.
“Eddie…” Buck interjected in between Eddie’s many questions, and the army vet stopped talking.
For a moment, the two best friends stared at each other, like Buck was hoping Eddie would get the hint without saying anything, but you knew that would be the cowardly way out. If there was one thing you learned today, it was that Buck was not a coward. Not now, not ever.
“Me and Christopher… we were at the beach, and I swear to you…” Buck was choking on his words and you squeezed his hand again for support.
Eddie was nodding, trying to understand, but the look on his face was heartbreaking. It was like if he didn’t hear it, it wouldn’t be true.
“I tried… and I just… but I… Eddie, I just don’t know how to say it. Um, he… he um…” Buck couldn’t get through it. He was stumbling over the words and Eddie’s eyes were brimming with the threat of tears as Buck tried to get the words out.
What made it even worse was that Eddie couldn’t even look at Buck. The army vet was looking behind his best friend, like he needed to avoid eye contact with what Buck was saying.
“Christopher?” Eddie questioned softly, like he needed clearance on what Buck was saying, but your gaze followed Eddie’s. A woman had stepped off a truck, carrying a small child. Your heart almost stopped, and you pulled on Buck’s arm to get him to stop talking.
Eddie slowly walked past you and Buck, and he approached the woman. Slowly, Buck turned around to follow Eddie feeling like this was Eddie’s way of coping with denial.
“Christopher?” Eddie called again, and like music to your ears, you heard the little boy shout for his dad.
The woman was carrying Christopher the entire time, bringing him to safety. Tears exploding out of your eyes once you realized what was going on and you stole a glance at Buck. Buck looked elated, like he was about to cry from relief as well. Christopher was alive and in Eddie’s arms, and there was no greater feeling than that.
“Buck, what happened to you?”
Suddenly, the fire crew of Station 118 popped into view. You didn’t know them personally, but you could venture a guess who from all the stories Christopher was told you during his visits to your little office at the school.
Captain Bobby Nash stood in front of the two of you, and he looked deeply concerned. He looked back and forth from you to Buck before asking, “Are you two okay?”
However, your exhaustion was caving in, along with Buck’s. The two of you practically collapsed to the floor and the fire family scrambled to hold onto both of you. That was the last thing you remembered, passing out next to Buck in the arms of his old crew.
It took a while, but the city was in clean up mode. You and Buck had a nice, extended stay at the hospital, hooked up to fluids and oxygen before given a clean bill of health. You were discharged first, since Buck had some lacerations that needed stitching up but the two of you texted nonstop while he regained his strength.
You went back to your job as the nurse at the elementary school, although you also became sort of a guidance counselor to the kids. Turns out, when you were checking for lice or fevers, they needed someone to talk to and you could just relate to them in a way. You were a familiar face in all the chaos, someone they needed to hold onto in order to make sense of things.
Christopher’s appointments never stopped either. In fact, they seemed to be increasing, only because Christopher wanted to talk to you and hang out with you.
“Honestly Eddie, he’s doing fine,” you spoke to Eddie on the phone about his son. You were sitting at your desk, making your daily calls to parents and Eddie Diaz was no stranger to the phone calls. “He’s in good spirits. Nothing is wrong with him, he’s pretty perfect.”
“You know, I never got to thank you,” Eddie’s voice crackled in your ear, “for what you did. Christopher told me how you and Buck saved him, and you have no idea how much I appreciate that.”
The two of you hung up, although there was promises of talking tomorrow. Talking to Eddie was a recurring thing in your life at this point, and you could use the stability.
“Knock knock,” a head peeked into your office, “these came for you.”
The secretary opened your door and placed a bouquet of colorful roses on you desk. There was a white card attached, looking strikingly clean in the middle of the rainbow of flowers.
You pulled off the card and it only said two words.
Come Outside.
Curiously, you stood up and grabbed your stethoscope, draping it around your neck. You never went anywhere without it now, and you weren’t sure what kind of situation you were getting yourself into. You rounded a corner and pushed open the heavy steel door that led to the front of the school. There, standing in all his glory, was Evan Buckley with the most beautiful smile you had ever seen.
“Thank you very much for the flowers,” you said as you smiled at him in return. “Why didn’t you tell me you were out of the hospital. I would’ve sent you some breakfast or something.”
“That’s part of the surprise. So, surprise!” Buck said happily as he approached you.
You just smiled at him, letting his arms snake around your waist as he hugged you tightly. Your arms draped around his neck and it felt so good. It felt familiar.
As you pulled away, you were greeted with something else. Buck, with no hesitation whatsoever, leaned in and captured your lips in a sudden and welcomed kiss. It was all you wanted, all you were waiting for, and you let yourself melt into his arms as he kissed you with such force and determination, you knew you would be a puddle of goo by the end of it.
“Let me take you out on a date,” Buck whispered against your lips, his lips brushing over yours with each and every word, “a real one this time. Just me and you.”
Your heart felt like it would leap out of your chest and you couldn’t manage to bring any words out. Instead, you nodded as you leaned in to kiss him again.
This was all you wanted. You’ve never been happier. You finally had the moment you wanted with Buck and now, a date on the horizon. With your luck, it would be the first of many, you were sure of it. There was no way you were going to let this man go, ever.
#Buck#evan buckley#buck x reader#buck x you#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley x you#oliver stark#9-1-1#9-1-1 on fox#9-1-1 fic
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bad enough for you
find it on ao3
“Itʼs a good look on you.”
Itʼs Friday, lazy evening after a long, very tiring shift; theyʼre at Eddieʼs house sprawled on the couch, watching some movie played on TV. Itʼs nothing new, really. Lately, it has become kind of a tradition—because Buckʼs here almost everyday. Eddieʼs not complaining; in fact, heʼs the one who invites him to his house with a simple you coming with me? Buck agrees excitedly and they usually end up on the couch with Christopher, watching TV or playing games
—and his excitement to spend time with Buck is priceless to see.
This evening was no exception. The only thing thatʼs different is that Christopher is already asleep in his bed and theyʼre alone in the living room. Buck stepped out of the shower like ten minutes ago and he smells like Eddieʼs favourite body wash. His hair is quite disheveled and still a little wet which made them more curly than usual. Thereʼs a nice stubble on his cheeks because Buck hasnʼt shaved for two days and Eddie wonders how this stubble would feel between his thighs. His cheeks are burning at the thought. He tries to think about something else, something other than his best friend in different positions in various states of undress. Itʼs hard, though. Not like his dick when he wakes up in the morning, covered in sweat and frustrated because of the dream heʼs had but still. Itʼs hard because Buckʼs sitting next to him and the dim lights of the lamp standing in the corner make his skin glow. Heʼs in his sweatpants and Eddieʼs old shirt (he has his own in Eddieʼs house but he just likes that particular shirt) that is a little too tight for him but it doesnʼt bother either of them. It does wonders for the blonde because it highlights his broad chest, his biceps and now itʼs a little rolled out and exposes Buckʼs skin.
“What?” Buck asks sleepily and opens his eyes. Eddie realises he said those words out loud.
“Uh... I said itʼs a good look on you. Yʼknow, the curls and the stubble.” He replies sheepishly. He didnʼt want to lie and besides, itʼs completely normal to appreciate your friendʼs good look, right?
Buck runs his hand over his hair nervously but then smiles shyly.
“Thanks.”
Itʼs only one word but itʼs filled with so much joy, Eddieʼs glad he shared his thoughts with Buck.
Eddie wants to kiss him.
Days later, Buck shows up at the station and Eddie almost drops his phone when he sees him. His friend is already in his workʼs clothes (this navy t-shirt really brings out Buckʼs eyes) but he looks different. His hair is extremely fluffy and very curly. He also has a nice scruff—a little more visible than the other night—and it suits him. And when he notices the Texan is staring at him, he winks.
“Eddie, youʼre drooling.” Chim laughs and he pretends heʼs wiping off the drool from Eddieʼs chin.
He should be embarrassed, horrified that Chim caught him checking Buck out. The thing is, heʼs not. He doesnʼt care if the rest of 118 noticed that too. Heʼs too happy, too giddy because apparently Buck likes this.
“Funny thatʼs coming out from your mouth.” Eddie teases. “Youʼre the one whoʼs drooling over another Buckley.”
“Hate to break it to you, Howie, but Eddieʼs right.” Buck laughs and goes to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.
“If youʼre looking for coffee, itʼs already waiting for you on the counter, red firefighter mug.” Eddie informs him.
“How domestic.” Chim mutters, rolling his eyes. Diaz pretends he didnʼt hear it but the tips of his ears turn red. Buck takes a sip and groans with pleasure because the coffee is exactly how he likes it. His friend knows him too well.
“Youʼre the best, Eds.” He says and sits right next to Eddie. Theyʼre so close their shoulders and legs are touching even though thereʼs still a lot of space on the couch.
“I know.” Eddie mutters. He enjoys their closeness, maybe even a little bit too much. He can smell Buck’s—wait, is that his favourite body wash? It definitely is. And from the smirk on Buck’s lips, it seems like his best friend knows what he’s thinking about.
He feels the heat is slowly taking over his whole body and suddenly, he’s more aware that he sits with Buck like they’re glued together. And they are in a way. It has always been like that. Personal space? Never heard of it. He just didn’t pay too much attention to it at first but over the years he discovered that Buck’s closeness, touch and smile have a huge effect on him. Sometimes it’s still hard to admit it and he tries to deny it but his traitorous body has a different opinion.
Jesus, he desperately needs to regain control over his own mind and not picture Buck sprawled on his couch again. Fire station is not the best place to fantasise about his best friend.
“Earth do Diiiiiiiaz!” Chim waves his hands right before Eddie’s face and Eddie immediately snaps out of his thoughts.
“You were saying?” He asks and takes another sip of his coffee.
“Actually it was me.” Hen answers; there’s a very knowing, smug smile dancing on her lips and Eddie suspects this woman really can read his mind. “I was asking if you’re free this Saturday, Denny wants to meet with Christopher and I thought it’s an amazing idea. They haven’t seen each other for a while.”
“Oh, it is a good idea. And we have nothing planned so we can definitely meet.” Eddie states and then turns to face his best friend. “Buck, you’re free too, right?”
Chim looks at him incredulously.
“What do you need him for?”
“Buck is Christopher and Denny’s favourite and they haven’t seen him in a while too so I figured they would be happy to see him.” Eddie shrugs nonchalantly.
“Wasn’t Buck like literally yesterday at your house? Because I swear I heard you inviting him over. And I definitely saw you two getting in Eddie’s car. Just like everyday.” Chim inquires, looking suspiciously at Eddie.
“Do you keep notes on how often I go to Eddie’s house?” Buck asks, clearly amused.
“No, but it’s hard not to notice that you basically live together. Albert claims he rarely sees you anymore. He told me that last time you didn’t even sleep in your own bed because he checked it and you didn’t come back!”
“I should’ve known that Albert would be just as nosy as you.” Buck mutters, shooting a very murderous glance at Chim.
“You and Hen have never heard of a sleepover? Never had one?” Eddie asks with a dose of sarcasm in his voice.
“Ha ha, very funny, Edmundo. We have sleepovers... Just not every night like you and Buck. Those kinds of sleepovers I have with Maddie.” Chim responses with a smirk.
“Oh, you donʼt want to know what we do during these sleepovers.” Buck blurts out. Both Chim and Hen freeze like they didnʼt expect this kind of response. Eddie stifles a laugh because they look hilarious with almost identical expressions on their faces. Heʼs glad Buck found a witty response to shut them up because this conversation was getting more ridiculous. And it was getting harder for him not to think about inappropriate things again.
“I think we broke them.” He gathers.
“Finally.”
Buck’s grinning at him, obviously very proud of himself. He’s usually the main topic of Chim and Hen’s jokes so when the tables turned, it must have been a nice feeling.
Eddie feels the urge to kiss him again and he has to physically restrain himself from doing it.
This is getting more ridiculous too. He needs to keep it together. Somehow. He has to.
“Whatʼs with the weird faces?” He hears Bobbyʼs voice who just came up the stairs and looks at his coworkers with curiosity.
“Oh, Hen and Chim just had a taste of their own medicine.” Eddie explains and points at Buck.
“Part of me wants to ask. The other part says knowing would be more disturbing than anything I could ever imagine. So I wonʼt ask for details.” Bobby says carefully.
The whole shift is a nightmare. Oh, they donʼt have too many awful, difficult calls. Itʼs just a nightmare because Eddie is quite distracted.
“Wise choice, Bobby, wise choice.” Chim mutters and just shakes his head.
Itʼs all Buckʼs fault because Eddie canʼt keep his eyes off him (which is not that uncommon). Hen only rolls her eyes when she notices that he stares at his best friend again. Chim just pretends not to see this even though heʼs clearly curious and he opens his mouth from time to time as if he wants to ask but he decides not to.
It seems like Buck knows about Eddieʼs inner conflict and he does things to torture him.
He definitely loses his control when theyʼre back at the station and they change their clothes.
All of the touches, looks and smiles are nothing out of ordinary—they share it on a daily basis—but it still feels a little bit different. More intimate, more private. Itʼs just the way Buckʼs lips curl in a smile when he catches him staring and he subtly changes his position to be more seen, like he wants Eddie to have a full view. Itʼs the way Buck shoots him a quick look whenever their arms brush. Itʼs the way Buck bites his lip while looking directly at him. These are all small things, almost a details but Eddie pays attention to every one of it.
Eddie can’t help himself but glance at his best friend when he unbuttons his uniform. He’s seen him shirtless countless of times already but it’s not like he will be complaining about it.
“See something you like?” Buck asks teasingly, noticing that Eddie stares at him. Again.
“Oh, for the love of—” Chim mutters under his breath and he definitely looks like he’s about to hit his head against the lockers but Hen pulls him away and whispers something in his ear. Then, they quickly make their way out of the changing room and Eddie’s all alone with Buck.
This is definitely not helping with his internal crisis. He doesnʼt trust himself and he feels like heʼs just one step away from dragging Buckley to a more private place where they could release the tension that has been building up between them for years.
Hell, he could easily just come closer, push him against the lockers and—
“Cap says you two can clean up the fire truck before dinner.” Donnellyʼs voice snaps him out of his thoughts quite harshly and he feels like he was just caught red-handed. He nods at his coworker and turns his head to see Buck.
“We should be quick, I heard Bobbyʼs doing carbonara today.” He says, trying to sound as normal as he can. He hopes that his friend wonʼt notice the blush on his cheeks thatʼs definitely here.
“Will you just kiss me or youʼre only gonna keep staring at me?” He asks, his voice teasing and amused.
“Please, when were we not quick?” Buck asks with a smile. “Letʼs just get to work.”
Cleaning up the fire truck goes quite smoothly. Buckʼs right; they are a very good team and they always work very well, no matter if itʼs a rescue or doing more mundane things. They work in silence, solely focused on finishing the cleaning soon. Eddie really tries to keep his mind off Buck and things he wants to do with him but he fails. He glances at him discreetly—or at least he thinks itʼs discreet but after a while, Buck stops working, leans against the car and turns to face him. Thereʼs a very mischievous smile on his lips and a spark in his eyes.
“I—” Eddie wets his lips and looks at Buck. The question catches him off guard and for a while he does nothing. Buck just waits patiently, still smiling like he knows Eddie wonʼt back out.
And Eddie doesnʼt.
He takes a step closer until Buck is pinned against the fire truck completely and crashes their lips together. Itʼs definitely better than all of his fantasies. Buck tastes like cinnamon gum and his lips are incredibly soft, softer than heʼd ever imagined. He can feel Buckʼs hands on his belt, tugging him closer. Eddie gasps when Buck rolls his hips and they can both feel how turned on they are.
“Jesus, Buck.” He says, voice all hoarse when they break apart to catch a breath. Buck doesnʼt give him time to think because he already starts to kiss his neck. His stubble scratches a little but itʼs not a bad feeling. In fact, he even enjoys it and closes his eyes, letting Buck do whatever he wants to.
“You know, I kept thinking...” He tries to say but itʼs very hard to focus and not to moan loudly when Buck moves with his kisses near his earlobe. “I really wanted to know how your stubble would feel.”
His best friend stops and raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, really? Good thing I didnʼt shave then.” He grins and thereʼs something in the tone of his voice that Eddie picks up immediately.
“You planned this, didnʼt you? You were fucking with me today on purpose?” He asks with disbelief.
“Hey, the fucking part is still ahead of us.” Buck corrects him, still grinning. “But yes, I was flirting with you and I did keep the look because I figured youʼre really into it. I just wanted to push you a little and convince myself that I didnʼt make up all of this.” He says, pointing out their swollen lips, flushed cheeks and their bodies tangled up together.
“You know how hard it was for me to keep my hands off you and not to drag you to the nearest bathroom or closet and do all the things I had in my mind just because you were all cute and flirty? Youʼre a menace, Buckley, you know that?” Eddie says. He still cannot quite believe that he was just making out with his best friend, that it wasnʼt just a dream. But he wants to repeat it, though.
“You and I both know you like it anyway. Just FYI, you can drag me whenever you want and do whatever you want, Iʼm very much interested.”
“Good.” Eddie comes closer again and before he kisses him again, he adds. “Because Iʼll definitely do it.”
They kiss again for God knows how long; itʼs like once theyʼve done it, they just canʼt stop. Eddie feels like heʼs a teenager again, all giddy and excited and definitely horny but he doesnʼt mind it. Kissing Buck definitely lands on top of the list of his favourite things to do and he suspects he will add a few more very soon. Heʼd do it even now but he still remembers—somehow—that theyʼre at work and they need to wait just a little longer. He does not remember that theyʼre not alone in the station, though, and Chimʼs voice definitely surprises him.
“Guys, where are you? If you donʼt hurry up—Oh my god.”
Chim sounds almost horrified and both Buck and Eddie look in his direction. He covered his mouth with his hand and his eyes widened when he realised what he walked into.
“Sorry, Chim, weʼll be done in a minute.” Eddie promises. He doesnʼt even care that Chim caught them kissing and neither does Buck.
“I really wanted you two to finally resolve this sexual tension but I definitely didnʼt want to witness that.” Chim scowls. “Now I need something to erase this image from my mind.”
“Consider it a repay for all your never-ending teasing.” Buck says smugly. “Just be glad it was only kissing.”
“Ew, Buckley. Next time Iʼll send Hen, I canʼt be the only one traumatised by the two of you.”
“Youʼre suspiciously sure there will be a next time.” Eddie notices.
“Weʼve seen you dancing around each other for three years, three years of pent up sexual tension doesnʼt disappear suddenly after one making out session. I doubt youʼll be able to keep hands off each other for a long time. Do what you want to but please, give man a warning first.”
“I think we can do that.”
#911#evan buckley#eddie diaz#bobby nash#henrietta wilson#howie han#buddie#buck x eddie#buddie fic#buddie ficlet#911 fic#buck x eddie fic#lucy writes#lucy's attempt to write#i know it's silly but here we go anyway#buddie fanfiction#911 fanfiction
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that's what i want for him
post-eddie begins | eddie meets with his attorney to change his will | a little feelings realization | a little pining | a little buckley-diaz family moment
4,097 words
AO3 link
The day that Eddie has his appointment with his attorney to alter his will, he’s sick with nerves.
He thought he had made peace with his own mortality a long time ago, when he enlisted and found himself pinned down, a world away from his family and bleeding out in the middle of a warzone — but something about the official stature of a will has always made him feel nervous.
He’s still young, and he has no plans to die anytime soon, but who really does? Shannon certainly hadn’t planned on it either. Dealing with grief is hard enough as is, especially when it’s the loss of a parent, and if Eddie can make that experience any more bearable for Chris, then that’s what he’s going to do.
Ever since Shannon died, he’s had his parents down as Christopher’s legal guardians should anything happen to him. It wasn’t a decision he ever felt comfortable with — but he didn’t have anyone else, and he didn’t really have a choice. He had to make sure that Christopher had someone in case things went wrong on a call.
But since the well came down — well, before that actually. Ever since the tsunami, ever since the lawsuit, ever since the skateboard accident — Eddie’s known that he needs to adjust his will, because in none of those situations were Eddie’s parents around to make sure Christopher was okay.
Buck was.
It wasn’t that they didn’t care. They certainly called Eddie after they heard the news about the tsunami. They asked if Christopher was okay (not him, Christopher), and made their usual comments about how Texas would be so much safer for him — they hadn’t had both an earthquake and a tsunami over the last year. They made sure they did their best to let Eddie know that he was making a mistake keeping Chris there, that he was making a mistake not relocating him after he lost his mom, that Chris was going to get seriously hurt one of these days and it would be his fault. They said all of the things he knew they would.
But they weren’t there.
The well was a close call — too close — and in that moment when the mud came down on top of him and the water started to fill his lungs — he realized he couldn’t leave Christopher with them. Not when there was someone else right there, someone who loved Christopher the way he did, someone who would do anything for him, someone who understood him.
He’s still reeling from the accident a bit, as he sits in the office, bouncing his leg up and down and trying hard to tamp down his nerves and failing, as you do after near-death experiences. He keeps having to remind himself that he’s not down there anymore, that there isn’t water all around him, that he can breathe perfectly fine, that he’s on solid ground now.
He has to remind himself that when he fell, Buck and Hen were there to grasp his hands and pull him back up. He’s okay.
“Mr. Diaz?” A voice calls to his left. He looks up to see his attorney in the doorway, standing with her hands clasped in front of her. She smiles at him politely.
She’s a tall, fairly nondescript woman, with soft, quiet features, and thick curly black hair that’s always pulled back into a bun. She always comes dressed in suits but leaves her suit jacket draped over the back of her chair, moving about her office and greeting clients in soft cashmere sweaters.
She always seems to be wearing a smile — but not in an unsettling way. When Shannon was still around, when Eddie was warming up to the idea of welcoming her back into his life, Eddie had made some comment about her having middle school teacher energy — the kind of middle school teacher that still enjoyed working with kids but also took them seriously and didn’t allow any room for bullshit — and Shannon had laughed at him for using the word energy. She said something about Buck rubbing off on him and he rolled his eyes.
It’s just that she reminds him of someone, someone from his past — but he just can’t ever place her. He’s always been bad with faces. But there’s something familiar and grounding about her, something that helped Eddie feel calm when he first met her. But today, she doesn’t calm his nerves.
He feels sick.
He hasn’t seen her since Shannon died.
He stands up and wipes his shaking hands against his jeans, following her into her office.
When Eddie imagined an attorney’s office, when he was a little younger and more naive, he imagined it being small, cramped, with overflowing filing cabinets against one wall and bookshelves filled with boxes of legal documents and binders and books filled with rules and statutes that he could never dream of understanding. He imagined it as something that would make him feel small and cramped — and that the lawyer on the other side of the desk would peer over their tiny wireframe glasses at him and scrutinize every decision he made.
But Stacy’s office is different — it’s calmer, more minimalist. Her walls are a cool white that contrasts against all of the black furniture. The boxes on her shelves are a uniform grey with white labels with little script that’s illegible to Eddie. She even has a little bonsai tree on her desk. It reminds him of a therapist’s office — one that Shannon tried to make him see earlier on in their marriage, between deployments. Sometimes he can appreciate the universe’s weird sense of humor. Today he doesn’t.
He hates having to be here, having to deal with all of the weird legal aspects of living and dying, but he’s doing this for Christopher, so he swallows his nerves.
“I understand you’re wanting to change your will?” Stacy begins, pulling Eddie’s file onto her desk and flipping it open. He nods.
“Yes, I just want to make an adjustment to the legal guardianship — for Christopher,” She nods for him to continue. “After last year, I changed it so my parents would be his legal guardians. I’d like to change it again.”
Stacy smiles softly at him again before pulling something up on her computer. She opens a drawer and retrieves some blank paperwork and sets it on her desk.
“And who will you be changing it to?”
“His name is Evan Buckley. He’s...my friend. Coworker, actually, but...he understands Chris better than they do. Or ever could, really.”
Stacy nods, writing Buck’s name down on the paper before setting the pen down, folding her hands together again, and studying Eddie.
“So, last year when we adjusted your will after your wife passed, I remember your parents being here with us,” She says, and it’s not unkind or pointed in any way, but her words still make Eddie shift in his chair, like he’s done something wrong.
“That’s right,” Eddie says, clearing his throat.
“And Mr. Buckley isn’t here with us today.”
“No,” Eddie says, picking at a loose strand in the hem of his jeans. “He’s working a shift today.”
“I see, are you sure you don’t want him to be present for this? It’s a big decision.”
Eddie blinks at her before shifting his eyes around the room.
“Does he need to be here?”
“No, not at all. We normally encourage both parties to be here, but I’m sure you’ve gotten his consent already, it’s just a formality, really,” Stacy smiles and turns back to her file, picking the pen up again, and opening her mouth to ask another question, when Eddie interrupts her.
“Do I need to have, um, written consent or something to do this? I don’t remember my parents having to sign anything.”
Stacy looks back up at Eddie. For a moment neither of them says anything. She slowly sets her pen back down.
“It’s not required, but it is recommended. This is a big decision, as I’m sure you’re aware. Trusting someone as your child’s legal guardian isn’t something to be taken lightly — especially when they’re not family.”
Eddie frowns — he’s not taking this lightly. It’s all he’s been able to think about for weeks. Every morning when he sits down with Christopher to have breakfast it’s a reminder that he almost lost this. Every time he comes home to Christopher after a long day of work there’s a sense of relief that he’s never felt before — he got to come home again. When he sees the drawings of Shannon that Christopher did that Eddie keeps locked in his nightstand — unable to throw them away, but definitely not keeping them anywhere where Chris could find them again — he remembers how close Chris came to losing another parent.
When he thinks about Chris being uprooted, ripped out of this life they built in California just to be dragged back to Texas, with parents like his who always think they know what’s best but never allow room for adjustments, with parents he knows will stifle him — it’s heartbreaking. He knows this is the right decision.
But Stacy doesn’t give him the opportunity to say all of that, and she continues to press, gently.
“You have had a conversation about this with him?” Eddie shrinks in his chair a bit.
“No, we haven’t — we haven’t talked about it. But, look, you don’t know Buck, okay? This isn’t,” He pauses, waving his hand while he tries to figure out what to say. “A couple of weeks ago, I was in an accident. It was pretty bad, and — I could’ve died. I was drowning and all I could think about was how I couldn’t leave Chris alone. And then, if I did die, how miserable he would be with my parents. I mean, you met them.”
Stacy doesn’t respond.
“Well, I was raised by them, so — I know what they’d be like, and I don’t want that for Christopher. Buck would do anything for Christopher. Already has. He’s...it’s him. I want him to be Christopher’s guardian, you know, if anything ever happens.”
Stacy nods and sits back in her chair.
“Eddie,” She starts, breaking formality. “Listen, I understand. This kind of thing happens more often than you’d think. There’s a kind of clarity that comes to people when they have a close encounter with death. I imagine it was especially clarifying for you, so soon after your wife’s death.”
She sits up again and studies Eddie carefully.
“I just want to make sure that you’re aware — if something happens and you haven’t told Mr. Buckley, he could refuse.”
Eddie shakes his head vehemently.
“No,” He says confidently. He looks at Stacy again, dead in the eye so that she knows he’s serious. “He wouldn’t do that. Believe me.”
“And if your family tries to fight it?” Eddie looks away then, and his eyes get a little distant. He smiles a small, private smile, before looking back at Stacy.
“They won’t ever fight as hard as him. Trust me.”
Stacy holds his gaze for a moment.
You learn a lot about people when you’re in her line of work — people come in all of the time and show her their hands, inadvertently pouring their hearts out, and revealing everything that’s most important to them as they sort out their estates. She’s seen plenty of people make weird, terrible, stupid, and callous decisions in the event of their death. She’s seen plenty of people come in after a close call and make hasty, half-baked decisions that she doesn’t have the power to counsel them against.
But, with her admittedly limited understanding of who Eddie Diaz is as a person, he’s not the kind of person who makes hasty, half-baked decisions, especially not when it comes to what he loves most — Christopher. They’ve only seen each other a few times: when Eddie first moved to LA and was altering his will, and when Shannon died. She’s seen him worn, tired, dragged down by grief. From what she sees, he’s a man who’s burdened by the need to do what's right for everyone else around him.
When he came in with his parents the year before, he had seemed small, and it had struck her. She remembered him from their first meeting as an army man with strong shoulders and a jaw set with stubborn determination — but then he just seemed like a child.
The man in front of her now is somewhere in between, softened by the home he’s clearly made for him and his son here. He’s still worn, a little shaken after his incident, still clearly grieving the loss of his wife, but the look in his eyes is strong and sure.
And as much as she would prefer that Mr. Buckley, or Buck, as Eddie keeps calling him, were here, she can clearly tell the difference in how Eddie feels about him versus his parents by the way he talks. He didn’t say much when his parents were in her office, just nodded along to what they said and made quiet, reserved comments to affirm their decisions. At the time, she wasn’t sure if it was the grief or their presence that was making him small — but she gets it now. Buck clearly understands Eddie in a way that few people have before.
She just hopes that Eddie talks to him about it soon — because the man does seem to be a kind of magnet for life-threatening situations, and she would really prefer not to have to break the news to a surprised, grief-stricken Evan Buckley herself. That’s her least favorite part of the job.
But she doesn’t press any further — Eddie’s made his case and Stacy’s certain she won’t be able to convince him to hold off any longer to at least talk to Buck, and they finish sorting out the paperwork.
Stacy sends Eddie off with the promise to get in touch with him when the changes to his will are finalized, and a gentle suggestion to talk with Buck soon.
He’s out the door feeling a dozen pounds lighter.
Eddie considers telling Buck after that, he really does. He understands that it’s probably something he should hear about sooner rather than later. But something holds him back, something makes him want to keep those cards close to his chest, and he’s not sure why.
He doesn’t tell anyone, not for a while. He really should tell his parents — and he will, eventually — but he’s not really looking forward to that particular conversation. He can already hear their arguments in his head, how Buck is in just as dangerous a profession as he is, how Buck is a stranger — not family, how he’s barely known this man for two years when they’ve known him his whole life — that one will make him laugh, he’s sure.
The first person he tells ends up being Carla.
It’s a few weeks later and he’s chatting with her on the phone, chopping up vegetables in the kitchen, helping prep dinner while Chris and Buck are playing games in the living room.
He’s been thinking about broaching the topic all night, now that he’s gotten a chance to be alone with Buck, but he feels a little anxious at the idea — even though he knows Buck won’t refuse. It just feels like a big thing that they probably won’t ever have to deal with — it’s not like he plans on dying.
But the idea is fresh in his mind, so it shouldn’t be that surprising when Carla asks him what’s new and he responds, “I changed my will.”
She doesn’t say anything for a second, and Eddie glances down at his phone to make sure the call didn’t get disconnected on accident.
“Oh?” Carla asks, clearly surprised. “What made you change it?”
“The well,” Eddie says, sliding some chopped carrots off the cutting board and into a bowl. He hears Carla hum in acknowledgment, then smiles as he hears Buck shout from the living room. Chris beat him, again. He’s alive, he’s okay.
“What exactly did you change?”
“Christopher’s legal guardianship...you know, if anything like that happens again and, uh, I don’t make it,” He tries to say this casually, but his throat starts to close up again at the end. He coughs.
“Who’d you change it to?” Carla asks, her voice soft. Eddie pauses, then steps away from the counter, peeking around the corner to check on Buck and Chris. The volume of their game is loud — too loud, really — but they’re engrossed in it, and Eddie’s comfortable with the thought that they can’t overhear his conversation. He walks back to his phone.
“Buck,” He admits quietly.
“Did you talk to him about this?” Carla asks, eventually, and it strikes Eddie how well she knows him. She doesn’t even sound surprised that he made Buck Christopher’s legal guardian.
When he doesn’t respond, he hears Carla sigh.
“Eddie, this is the kind of thing you should talk to him about. If something happens and he suddenly finds out from your lawyer—“
“He’s not gonna refuse,” Eddie says confidently.
“No, and I didn’t say that he would. It would just be fair to him to tell him before, God forbid, something happens to you and he has to hear it from a stranger instead of his best friend.”
“I’m not planning on dying any time soon, Carla,” Eddie says, and he wants to feel confident as he says it, wants it to come off light-hearted and joking, but he’s still terrified and his voice betrays him.
“I know you’re not, honey,” Carla says sympathetically. “But we both know that anything can happen to any one of us, any day. I know I don’t need to remind you of that.”
Eddie nods, even though Carla can’t see him, and continues chopping vegetables.
“It’s just,” Eddie pauses, working out his words. “I don’t — should I tell Christopher? Maybe he should know first.”
“How did you do it when you changed it with your parents last year?” Eddie shrugs.
“Wasn’t really my decision. They were here, they decided it should be them, they told Christopher, we went to my attorney and made it happen. This time...this time it was my choice. And I don’t really know what to do here.”
He lets out a shaky laugh and finds himself, surprisingly, wishing Shannon was here.
It’s one of those things that happens after you lose someone you love — you forget all of the bad parts of your relationship and start to miss the good. He wishes she was here right now, chopping vegetables, teasing him for being useless in the kitchen. He wishes he wasn’t having this conversation right now. He wishes he didn’t feel so old, so marked by death.
He hears Christopher’s victory shout from the living room again, and his heart races to latch onto it. As long as he has his kid, everything’s okay. He wouldn’t take anything back — not for this. Christopher’s happy now.
Then he hears Buck laughing good-naturedly, hears him lowering the volume, and then listens as Chris tries to wheedle another round out of him.
“Come on, buddy, it’s time for me to start dinner. I gotta make sure your dad doesn’t burn any of our dinner in there, or accidentally chop a finger off cutting vegetables. Let’s go get you washed up and then we can help him out, okay?”
Eddie doesn’t hear Christopher’s response, he imagines it was something like a groan and a not-so-subtle eye roll, but he registers the sound of the TV cutting off and Buck’s weight lifting up off the couch. A couple of seconds later and there’s the sound of running water in the bathroom down the hall, and Christopher giggling over the noise.
Everything’s okay.
“Look, Carla, I’m sorry to cut this short but — Buck’s here and he’s about to come help me out in the kitchen, so, I gotta—“
“Just breathe, Eddie. You’ll figure it out, okay? Just make sure you tell him soon.” Eddie hums, noncommittal, and he’s pretty sure he can hear the way Carla shakes her head fondly. “And give that boy a kiss for me, will you?”
“Christopher or Buck?” Eddie jokes before he can stop himself. He freezes, knife hovering mid chop. He hears the water in the bathroom shut off and starts to panic, for some reason he can’t explain. That’s a normal joke to make about your friend, right? Carla would totally kiss him if she was here.
“Whichever one you want,” Carla says after a while, quiet and knowing.
“Hey, is that Carla?” Buck asks as he enters the kitchen.
“Great, thanks Carla, bye,” Eddie rushes, flustered and scrambling to end the call. He turns back around to face Buck, who’s looking at him quizzically.
“I was just gonna say hi?” He says, tilting his head to the side. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Great,” Eddie says, unconvincingly. Buck raises an eyebrow. “Um, fine, just — not sure...how many...potatoes you need me to chop?”
Buck doesn’t take his eyes off Eddie. He studies him, eyes flicking over his face, mentally running through his memory to see if Eddie’s been off lately. And, well, he has — he almost died a couple of weeks ago.
Eddie’s caginess isn’t hard to read — but Buck’s gotten pretty good at knowing when’s the right time to push and when’s the right time to sit back and wait, let Eddie come to him. As much as he doesn’t like it, this is a sit back and wait kind of situation.
He regards Eddie one last time before stepping up to the counter next to him, his hand hovering behind Eddie’s back. Eddie really wants to know why that makes him nervous all of a sudden. They’re close to each other all the time, practically touching each other constantly, but right now proximity to Buck is making it hard to breathe. Buck’s only got a couple of inches on him but it feels like he’s towering over him. It’s making him a little dizzy.
“I’m pretty sure this is enough,” Buck says, sliding away from Eddie and pulling a tray out of the cabinet by the stove, blissfully unaware of the way Eddie’s heart is racing in his chest. “I told Christopher he could help so I figured he could season the vegetables? I’ll measure the spices out for him so we don’t end up eating pure salt like we did last time.”
He sends Eddie a wink as he says that and then turns around, pulling spices out of Eddie’s cabinets and grabbing these tiny bowls that Eddie didn’t even know he had. He’s stunned, watching Buck move around the kitchen with ease, like this isn’t the hundredth time Buck has been over to cook them dinner.
It feels a little like he stepped into some alternate reality, like everything is exactly as it should be but something’s just slightly off. Something’s shifted, but he’s not sure what.
When Christopher comes in moments later, Buck gets him set up at the table easily, letting him sit himself and setting his crutches to the side, placing the tray down in front of him with all of the spices in reach, and pointing out what each of them are and explaining how they flavor the food.
He drizzles the oil over the vegetables and then lets Chris go for it, dumping the bowls over the tray and then getting in there with him, using their hands to coat them all evenly. And that, of course, is Christopher’s favorite part. While Eddie’s still processing, the kitchen’s filled with the sounds of Christopher laughing and Buck laughing along with him, encouraging the way he tosses each vegetable around to cover it in spices.
Eddie stands at the counter, still stunned, but warm all over. This is the kind of thing that keeps him going, the kind of thing that keeps him fighting when things get hard. It’s the kind of thing that Eddie will tuck inside his heart as a precious memory that will come back to him in the future whenever things inevitably get dark again.
He doesn’t want to tell Buck about the guardianship yet. He’ll tell Christopher first, and then his parents, and then, whenever the moment’s right, then he’ll tell Buck.
He’s not in any kind of rush. Things are perfect right now, and he just wants to enjoy that for a little bit longer.
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Happy belated International Firefighters’ Day, everyone! Thank you also to the gorgeous and lovely @diaz-eddie who introduced me to the awesomeness that is 911, Eddie Diaz, Christopher and Buddie. So this one is for you, my dear.
Professional photographer Caroline Forbes and firefighter Klaus Mikaelson keep running into each other. It’s either the universe playing a joke on them or Katherine’s ‘accidental’ matchmaking. Or maybe it's a bit of both?
Smoke Signals
“You, you must have been looking for me...sending smoke signals"
Round 1 - Ocean Beach, Sunday 7:53pm
“Now, we each have to cut off a lock of hair and throw it into the fire.”
“Excuse me? I know there’s been a few tequila shots consumed already but we have to do what now?”
Caroline knew from experience that any Katherine Pierce idea was most probably a really bad one. Tonight was case in point.
She’d been best friends with her since first grade when Kat hit Liam McKenzie for taking Caroline’s turn on the slippery slide. So, she was pretty much indebted to her from the outset. They were also currently roommates and business partners so Caroline figured she had the requisite knowledge to call this latest idea one of her very worst.
Kat’s latest distraction, a rather buff looking Mason Lockwood, had decided to leave town to pursue a career in Las Vegas. Given those barely clothed, impressive attributes she’d stumbled upon in the kitchen at breakfast she figured stripping was most probably that vocational change.
Katherine insisted they were just having casual fun, and she didn’t doubt it given the excess noise emanating from her bedroom, but she decided that any break-up needed to be acknowledged hence their impromptu visit to the beach on a cool November evening.
Katherine decided she needed to sacrifice some things to cleanse herself before moving on to the next possibly half-dressed guy, hence the fire.
“I am not sacrificing my perfectly good hair for Magic Mike.”
“What have I told you about calling him that?”
“Sorry, too soon. Although, I thought after burning his best, gold g-string we were done, Kitty Kat.”
“We have the worst luck with guys, Care, we need to completely purge ourselves and start over. So, what better way than burning something meaningful as a way to do that.”
Caroline realised she really should have confiscated the tequila much earlier.
She also wasn’t too sure what she was starting over from given she lived like a nun compared to her roommate. When Caroline was out, she was either on location taking photographs or busily developing them in her dark room. It had been her passion since she was twelve and nothing made her feel more at peace than capturing those beautiful but brief moments in time.
It also didn’t hurt that she was one of the most sought after photographers in the Bay area and had her own studio and gallery on Bartlett Street along with her partner and public relations expert Katherine whose vision and services complemented the business.
“Well, as much as I appreciate the concept, I think there are probably many other things we could do to purge ourselves of bad choices.”
“Like?”
“I don’t know, maybe not make them again? And by that I mean you.”
“Cute,” Kat growled. “We didn’t come all this way to the beach to make false promises, we need to burn something as a memento. I read somewhere that...”
“Okay, crazy, arsonist lady. I have no intention of sacrificing anything, especially my hair or this Victoria Secret, lace, push-up bra I nabbed on sale last week.”
“Well, that’s probably a good thing given this is an illegal bonfire and the fine would probably dwarf the cost of it.”
The interruption was unexpected and she was immediately hostile, even if that crisp accent was kind of annoyingly attractive. Caroline turned around, not expecting the voice to match the, uh, body. She decided to blame it on the fact she was otherwise distracted by the fluorescent, yellow, stripes on his jacket that could never be considered attractive. Ever.
Unfortunately, he still was just that; the glowing flames from the fire highlighting a pair of amused, crimson lips, the perfect amount of well-placed stubble and was that a stray dimple she spied?
Even so, this guy had a nerve interrupting them.
“Should I be worried you know how much my underwear costs?” Probably not the most important issue right now but it was the first thing that came to mind as he produced an official looking notepad.
“It probably wouldn’t be professional to respond to that particular question,” he replied, eyes cast downward as he wrote on his pad dutifully. The dimple she wasn’t completely sure existed made an unexpected but brief reappearance.
Read the rest on AO3 HERE
#happy international firefighter's day#smoke signals#klaroline fanfiction#klaroline fanfic#misssophiachase#diaz-eddie
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♡ touch me and you'll never be alone ♡
Summary: Buck is tired of being left behind and he's terrified that one day he'll be all alone. Eddie is going to show him how wrong he is.
Set after 03x16: "The One That Got Away"
Pairing: eddie diaz/evan "buck" buckley ( 9-1-1 )
Words: 1.7k
Warnings: Angs, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
AO3 LINK
｡･ﾟ ﾟ･｡. ｡ ･ﾟ♡
Buck hates funerals. Everyone hates funerals, that's not really uncommon, but he’s currently at a funeral, and maybe he's too emotional but he feels tears in his eyes. He hasn't known Red for long, barely at all, actually. But the death still hit him right on the heart like a freight train. He passed away in his sleep less than a couple of hours ago. Full of regrets and alone.
As his body is laid in the ground, no mourning descendants are gathering around, no family or a wife. Everyone in there is or has been a firefighter. Now Buck saw it for what truly was, Red was a hero, yes, but he also was a really lonely and sad person.
"Hey, are you ready to go back home?" Eddie asks him once the whole ordeal is over. Buck feels terrified that this is his future. He's not ready at all, he's not okay, but he nods all the same and follows Eddie to his truck.
The drive is silent, not in a weird or awkward way, but comfortable... peaceful. Eddie always knows when Buck needs to just think and be alone with his thoughts. Buck appreciates the space, but he knows his friend won't stay quiet for long, he'll want to talk about what's really bothering Buck.
And if someone knows Eddie Diaz, that is Evan Buckley. As soon as they're in Eddie's house, he asks how is he really holding up.
"Talk to me, please. Chris is with abuela and we have the day off, so just talk to me, Buck. I know you're not okay."
"I just... I don't wanna end up like Red: with a life full of regrets and no one by my side." His voice cracks on the last sentence, and he has to blink the tears away. "I'm terrified that I'll lose all of you once we leave the firehouse or whatever."
“Evan, cariño,” Eddie says, all gentle and loving. He pulls him into his arms, and Buck lets him. There’s nothing more comforting than a Diaz hug and honestly, he's a little touch starved. "You are not alone now and you won't be alone in five years, ten years, or even fifty years in the future. You know why? Because you've got me, and Christopher and Maddie. And Bobby, Athena, Chimney, Hen... all of us. We love you, we are your family and we could never leave you behind."
"But you will, though! I know you guys are my family, believe me, I do. But you all have your own lives, your own people to come home to. What do I have?" Buck really hates how broken his voice sounds but he can't help it, still, in Eddie's embrace, he buries his face against his best friend's shoulder.
After a few minutes, they pull away and go to the couch. Eddie makes mugs of chocolate, Buck's favorite, and adds some extra marshmallows for Evan, in the hopes that maybe that will cheer him... at least a little.
Eddie moves their mugs to the coffee table and slides his hand gently along Buck’s back, “You won't end up like Red, Evan. That's impossible, I would never let that happen. Don't you see that? You are not just a hero. You are not just your job. You're a brother, a son, Christopher's favorite person, a best friend... you are everything, Buck. You act like it's so easy to leave you, so easy to forget about you but it's not. Trust me."
Buck can't help but to shake his head, a strangled bitter laugh escaping his lips. He wanted to yell at Eddie, scream hr was lying. Because as much as they may love him now, he knows how this story goes. Time is a slow and merciless killer and maybe they would stay in touch for the first month or two, then it would be less and less until finally, it was only the occasional phone call or message promising a meet-up that would never come. Just like Red had told him. Buck knows he’s not enough to make someone stick around. Never been, never will be.
Buck tries to respond, but the word “I” is swollen with tears and it's too late to stop them. Eddie pulls gently and Buck comes easily across his broad chest, his face coming to rest in the crook of Eddie's neck. The first sob sounds painful like it's being ripped from his throat, and Eddie can feel him tremble in his arms. He strokes a hand down Buck’s spine, his other petting his hair, and Evan succumbs. The emotions ravage his body like they’ve been growing inside him for so long they have to break him open in places to get out. Everything he's been keeping bottled up, the tsunami, the stress of the lawsuit, the fallout after that, every person who ever left him... Buck just lets go of his feelings, trusting Eddie to be there for him. Eddie's always there for him.
Eddie holds him through it, whispering comforts into his ear, “It’s gonna be okay. I’ve got you. I’m right here. You’re okay, Evan. I'm here, querido. You are not alone.”
For all that Buck collapsed into him through his tears, once he regains control of himself, he stiffens. Eddie doesn’t want to let him go, but Buck pulls away, curling in on himself with his damp face hidden in his hands. “Man, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what- I shouldn’t have… I’m so sorry!”
“Hey, none of that,” Eddie gives Buck’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze and is rewarded with his face rising from his fingers. He watches the emotions play across it, the pleasure, the need, the shame. "You know you don't have to apologize to me, Buck. You don't ever have to apologize to me, not for being vulnerable, not for how you feel."
The moment is intimate, their faces close and Eddie is looking at him so soft and worried, concern clearly in every inch of his face. Buck wants to believe his words but he still doubts. 'You're exhausting' he hears like an echo, cutting deep down through his heart. He probably should let it go, say thank you to Eddie, and a nod to the comforting words.
But of course, Buck can never leave it well enough alone.
"I thought I was exhausting." His voice sounds so small and broken that for a moment he doesn't recognize himself. But then the look of utter hurt and guilt on Eddie's face brings him back. He wants to apologize, he wants to make Eddie smile. Laugh it up so his friend will stop stressing about all of this.
"Evan... "he sighs shakily. "I was mad, I was furious that I couldn't talk to you. That I couldn't be close to my best friend. I said things that I didn't feel and that I don't think they're true." He glances at him, swallowing nervously, "I could never be tired of you."
Buck hesitates, slowly facing away as he processes this really intense conversation. Eddie is patient. Buck finally turns back, “Thank you. I mean, I know I can be too much sometimes but thank you for not giving up on me. For staying."
"I couldn't go anywhere else, even if I wanted to," he replies softly, his hand reaching to press against his shoulder and neck, and Buck relaxes a little at the touch.
Buck turns his eyes to his friend. He can feel tears in them and he doesn’t know how long they’ve been there at this point. “You’re a really great person, Edmundo. And I’m really glad you’re here.”
"You make it easy." Eddie shrugs it off but then hesitates a little bit. He searches for something in Buck's eyes and whatever it is, he found it because he then continues. "You know I love you, right? I think I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. Except for Chris, of course."
Buck stares at him, eyes wide, and then he gulps in a breath because apparently, he wasn’t breathing. “Yeah?”
"Yeah. So there you have it. You will never be alone because you've got Chris and you've got me and I'm so in love with you that I don't think I could ever stop-" Eddie stars rambling and his hands start shaking, he obviously wasn't planning on confessing his undying love today but Buck wasn't complaining.
"Eddie-"
"And I know this is possibly the worst day I could've chosen to say this to you. I mean, we were just at a funeral, for God's sake. But also, you need to know, you need to believe that you won't end up alone. Because yes, I have Chris to come back home to but so do you. And you have me. And..." Eddie huffs, laughing shakingly.
"Eddie, shut up, please." Buck is smiling softly, slightly amused and Eddie shuts up immediately. "I'm in love with you, too, you idiot."
Buck reaches up, hand cupping Eddie's cheek, and he’s looking him in the eye with a request. Eddie leans in, their eyes fall closed, and their first kiss is a chaste press of soft lips and warm breath. Buck melts into it, tangling his fingers into Eddie’s hair and pulling him closer.
Whether he kisses him like that for minutes or hours, Buck can’t say, but when he breaks the kiss, it’s too soon. He doesn’t let him go, though. He brushes his lips across his face softly, enjoying the moment. Buck can't believe that his day started so awfully horrible and now he's kissing his best friend, the guy who he's been pining after for years.
“I have wanted to do that since the second I saw you,” Eddie admits.
“If you had, it probably would have saved us a lot of trouble,” Buck breathes. Eddie chuckles and Buck grins dumbfounded.
"You probably would've punched me in the face. You hated me when we first met."
"Lucky me you brought me to my senses."
Eddie hums against his mouth, pulling his lip into his mouth. They still have a lot to talk about and Buck's insecurities won't disappear just like that. But they have each other, so they'll be alright.
#911onabc#911edit#911 fanfic#911 buck#eddie 911#buddie 911#evan buck buckely#evan buckley#buck and eddie#buck x eddie#eddie diaz#edmundo diaz#buddie#buddie fanfic
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The Storms That We've Braved
Summary: Buck visits the Diaz household in the middle of a school day and is greeted by a guilty-looking Eddie and a happy Christopher who is watching movies instead of being in school like he should be.
A/N: I love post-tsunami fics and wanted to write something that focuses on how Eddie is doing after it and this happened!
AO3
Buck knocks on Eddie’s door, his other hand holding the takeout coffees. He had been using his day off productively by running some errands and had stopped at their favorite coffee place after, deciding that instead of going home, he could visit Eddie. It’s a school day so Christopher won’t be home, but Buck can see Eddie’s truck on the driveway and knows that his friend is in the house.
It takes a moment before the door opens, and when it does Eddie looks surprised.
“Buck?”
“Hey,” Buck greets and moves past Eddie into the house. “I thought I’d stop by.”
Eddie closes the door and when Buck looks at him again he can see that something is off with Eddie. He looks tired and as Buck studies his best friend’s face closer, he can see that Eddie looks almost… guilty?
Did he interrupt something?
“I can leave,” Buck says slowly. “If this is a bad time.”
“It’s not-” Eddie starts, but he’s interrupted by Christopher appearing from the living room.
“Buck!” Christopher says happily. “I didn’t know you were coming over.”
“Hey Superman,” Buck says and crouches down to greet Christopher with a one-armed hug while he’s trying not to spill the coffees. Eddie sees him struggle and takes the cups from his hand, and Buck is able to hug Christopher properly.
If the hug lasts longer than normal, no one but Buck needs to know that it’s because last night he woke up at 4 am screaming the boy’s name.
It’s been two weeks since the tsunami. The physical scars have healed and Buck’s back at work - albeit in light duty. He doesn’t exactly like it but he’ll endure it if it means that he’ll eventually be back with his team.
It’s the mental scars that are taking a little longer to heal. As if the trauma of being in a natural disaster wasn’t enough, he’d been there with Christopher, and on a day when Eddie had left him alone with the kid for the first time.
Buck lets go then, before the thoughts get a tighter hold on him and he’s unable to do it at all.
“It’s a surprise visit,” he tells Christopher. He knows that the boy should be in school right now but he doesn’t want to ask him why he isn’t, in case it has something to do with the tsunami and he would bring up bad memories when the boy is smiling so widely. “What are you up to?”
“Dad and I are watching movies!” Christopher tells happily. “You should join us!”
Buck looks at Eddie who still looks like he got caught doing something he shouldn’t, but Eddie nods and it’s all Buck needs to be able to answer Christopher.
“I’d love to,” he says. “You can go on and continue watching the movie, I want to talk to your dad first.”
“Okay!” Christopher says and disappears back to the living room, using the wall for balance as he walks.
Buck nods towards the kitchen and they both walk there, and Eddie places the cups on the counter.
“I know he should be in school,” Eddie says immediately, like he thinks Buck needs to know that he knows. He leans his hip against the counter and Buck mirrors his position next to him.
“Why isn’t he?” Buck asks kindly. “Is he sick? Did he have another nightmare?”
Buck knows he’s not the only one who’s been struggling with nightmares. Eddie told him at work that Christopher has been waking up some nights, scared and crying. After a particularly bad one, Eddie had called him at 2 am apologising profusely at waking Buck up, but explained that Christopher was refusing to go back to sleep until he heard that his Buck was okay.
Little did Eddie know that Buck hadn’t been sleeping either.
“He’s fine,” Eddie says. “I think talking to that therapist has helped him. He hasn’t had any nightmares for the past two nights.”
“Then what is it?” Buck asks.
Eddie’s silence is worrying, but Buck doesn’t push him. He seems to be struggling with whatever it is and Buck doesn’t want to make him shut down when he’s about to say something.
“It’s me,” Eddie says quietly. He rubs a hand across his eyes and looks down to their feet, looking almost angry with himself. “I had a nightmare and I couldn’t send him to school so soon after it. We were eating breakfast and I kept thinking about spending the next few hours without him and I didn’t want that. I needed to be able to remind myself that he’s okay.”
Buck is about to say something but Eddie continues speaking. It’s like he’s trying to get it all out as fast as possible before he loses the courage.
“And I know it’s selfish,” he says. “I know his education is important and that he has friends at school he likes to spend time with and that he genuinely enjoys most of his classes. I know all that.”
He looks up at Buck then, like he needs Buck to understand that.
“I know,” Buck says. “You love that kid and you want to do what’s best for him. But it’s okay to do what’s best for you as well. What happened wasn’t easy for you either, and if you want to keep your kid a little closer than normal, no one can blame you. Missing a day of school is okay. I think having a small break and spending time with you might be good for him too.”
Eddie doesn’t say anything and Buck isn’t sure if he believes his words, so he decides to change the topic for now. But only a little.
“Do you want to talk about that nightmare you had?” He asks. He’s half-convinced that Eddie will just brush him off because Eddie doesn’t like to be vulnerable. But he also thinks that Eddie looks like he might want to talk this time, and Buck will do all he can to make it easier for him. “Was it about the tsunami?”
Eddie nods.
“I wasn’t even there,” Eddie says, and he sounds so damn guilty Buck wants to shake him and make him see that he did nothing wrong. “I didn’t see the horrors you two had to see, I didn’t experience even a fraction of the things you two went through. I should be able to be strong for him.”
“Eddie,” Buck sighs. “It’s understandable that what happened shook you as well. You might not have been there when the tsunami hit, but you had to stand at that field hospital and listen to me tell you that I had lost your son and-”
“You didn’t lose him,” Eddie interjects. “It was a natural disaster and it took you two away from each other. None of it was your fault.”
Eddie’s voice is strong and he looks Buck in the eyes as he says it, making sure the words are heard and understood.
���Thank you,” Buck says, because replying with I know still feels a little bit like a lie. It’s something he’s working on, and he appreciates Eddie’s help. He wants to be able to help Eddie too. “But my point still stands. There was a moment when you didn’t know where your son was and what might have happened to him. All you knew was that he’d been in the eye of the biggest natural disaster the state has had in years. I can’t even imagine the fear you felt in that moment.”
Eddie is quiet for a moment before he says, still looking at Buck intently.
“I don't think you need to. I think you know.”
Buck gives him a sad smile in reply.
“What happened was traumatic for you too,” Buck summarises. “It’s okay to be affected by it.”
“When did you get so wise?” Eddie asks, obviously trying to lighten the conversation up. Buck allows it.
“Therapy,” he replies with a smile on his face. “I can recommend a good therapist if you want to.”
To his surprise, Eddie seems to be considering it.
“Maybe,” he says. “But now I have a movie to finish.”
Buck laughs.
“I can leave you to it,” he says, happy to see Eddie smiling again and glad that he was able to make him feel a little better. “I know you want to spend time with Christopher.”
Eddie’s smile falls after those words.
“Stay,” he says. Then after a short pause, “Christopher’s not the only one I want to spend time with after last night.”
Buck looks confused for a moment before he understands. He was in Eddie’s nightmare as well.
“You mean a lot to me,” Eddie says, and Buck tries to ignore the way his heart stops a beat. If only Eddie knew how much he means to Buck. But this is not the time for that conversation, so Buck listens as Eddie keeps talking. “And sometimes I worry. With Christopher it’s easier. I can be there for him when he has a nightmare and if I have a nightmare, I can walk to his room and make my dumb brain believe that he’s okay.”
“I told you that you can call anytime,” Buck reminds him. “I meant if Christopher has a nightmare but I meant if you need it too. Anytime, Eddie. And for any reason.”
“That goes both ways,” Eddie says. “And before you try to say anything, I’ve seen the dark bags under your eyes. I know that you don’t get enough sleep. And I can fathom a guess why that is.”
Buck doesn’t try to argue, knows it would be pointless. He also knows that he loves Eddie more every day.
When Buck’s words fail him, he trusts his actions. He steps closer and pulls Eddie into a tight hug.
“We’ll be okay,” he says and he truly believes his words. “All three of us.”
Eddie holds him back just as tightly, “We have each other.”
Buck’s heart warms at being included, and he holds the hug until he can feel Eddie pulling back.
“I think we have a movie waiting for us,” Eddie says with a warm smile and nods towards the living room. “You take the coffees, I’ll grab a juice for Christopher.”
Buck does as he’s told and they go to the living room where they settle comfortably on the couch, Christopher in the middle.
By the time the credits roll around, all three of them are asleep on the couch, in various states of leaning against each other. It might be a very uncomfortable position, but it’s the best rest Buck has had in two weeks.
#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#9-1-1#911onfox#my writing#in which the author ignores canon details and only uses parts that fit her idea
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