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greenglowinspooks · 7 months

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(DCxDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent

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Tw: vivisection mention (not in detail), bad Fenton parents

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Pt. 2 here) (Pt. 3 here)

(Masterlist/subscription post)

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It was a dark, cold, miserable night, and Scarecrow, Jonathan Crane, wanted nothing more than to be home, covered in blankets with the heater set to max as he worked on his most recent strain of fear toxin.

Instead he was at the docks, standing in as backup for the Penguin as he made a deal with some sleaze-bag smugglers. Something about some sort of body armor for his hired help. Crane hadn’t really paid much attention to the Penguin’s words, only caring enough to show up because of the reward.

But honestly, he couldn’t care less about the money at this point.

He was cold, and miserable, and his leg hurt something fierce (he’d had chronic pains ever since being mauled by Killer Croc some time ago), and he was so, so close to a breakthrough with his new toxin, and he really couldn’t stand the Penguin anyways. The only thing keeping him there was his reputation as a rogue.

Just as Crane was deciding that the whole ordeal wasn’t worth it, he heard the sound of a chase a few blocks down. With a deep, heavy sigh, he moved from the wall he had been leaning against, looming in the alleyway as he waited for the potential threat to reveal itself.

A few moments later, a boy came careening into the alleyway, sliding to a stop when he noticed the Scarecrow, his eyes growing impossibly wide. Beneath the mask, Jonathan grinned.

The boy swore, loudly, glancing between Scarecrow and the exit of the alleyway. As the echoing sound of footsteps grew closer, he chose to face the way he came, turning his back to Scarecrow.

What an idiotic way to get killed. Either the boy was a complete and utter fool, or there was something out there worse (to him, at least) than the Scarecrow.

Jonathan Crane tilted his head slowly, considering. He could just cut his losses and leave, Penguin be damned, or he could stay and see what had the boy so spooked.

Eventually, unfortunately enough, his curiosity won out. He shifted, bringing a hand to his side where he kept several canisters of fear toxin.

Crane had to bite back a groan when the boy’s pursuers entered the alleyway.

It was those damned idiots in white suits.

They had been tailing him for weeks now. They were easy enough to fight, but they were annoyingly persistent, and always seemed to have a way to find him. (Not to mention, the Riddler had strong opinions on their outfits, and if he had to hear the white-suit-in-Gotham rant one more time he was going to throttle him.)

Led by the men in white was a woman in a teal hazmat suit. Jonathan had seen her around, too, though less frequently than the others. He had honestly assumed that she was just a new C-tier rogue and avoided her like the plague.

Her eyes went wide as saucers when she saw Jonathan standing a few feet from the boy. No one moved a muscle.

“Danny,” the woman spoke softly. The boy, Danny, flinched, glancing between her and Scarecrow, “come on, we can talk about this. Your father and I only want to help you.”

He was running from his mother?

Scarecrow paused after that revelation, choosing to fully take in the boy’s appearance.

He was lean, almost gaunt, and wearing clothes several sizes too big for him, probably stolen. His entire body shook, from fear and cold both, and he clutched his stomach with one hand. At first, Scarecrow assumed that it was due to being out of breath, but as he looked closer he could see blood staining the dark fabric of the boy’s shirt.

He was injured, underweight, and running from his parents.

Something that felt a lot like rage swelled in Jonathan’s heart.

“Danny, you don’t get it! We’re so close now. We can fix you, and then we can go home, and everything can go back to normal,” she said, smiling in a way that was clearly supposed to be reassuring. She took a few steps forward, the men behind her clearly readying their weapons.

The boy backed away from his mother, inadvertently coming closer to Scarecrow.

He glanced up at Crane again, his blue eyes shining in fear, but not of him.

Sickening. Sickening.

In one fluid motion, Jonathan grabbed the boy by the wrist, pulling him behind him, and threw a large canister of fear gas into the group who had been chasing him.

The liquid in the container turned to gas as soon as it broke open, billowing out and filling half of the alleyway with a thick yellow smog.

The boy gasped, pulling his shirt over his face in a pathetic attempt to filter out the toxin. It would have to do, though, Scarecrow thought, rushing forward to force the boy’s aggressors to breathe in the gas.

The fight that the men put up was pitiful. The few individuals who didn’t breathe in the toxin immediately were clearly unused to fighting hand-to-hand, and dropped like flies in Scarecrow’s wake.

Just as the men began to spasm and shout in their terror, as if on cue, the familiar wail of police sirens reached the Scarecrow’s ears.

He heaved a heavy, irritated sigh, fingers twitching for a cigarette. He was trying to quit as of late, but he felt that after today, he might deserve one.

Though now was not the time to be thinking of cigarettes.

Jonathan approached the boy, mindful of any signs he might run off.

The boy didn’t seem to notice his approach in the slightest, just staring at the woman in the jumpsuit as she writhed on the ground.

Right. That would most likely be traumatic for a child to see, wouldn’t it?

Scarecrow moved in front of the boy, blocking his line of sight. The boy looked up at him now, his face completely blank.

“The police are on their way,” Scarecrow spoke, his voice low. The boy didn’t acknowledge him in any way.

“You don’t want to be here when they arrive, do you?”

After several moments pause, the boy shook his head slowly. He looked numb.

Dissociation, most likely.

“You’ll come with me, then.”

It was a statement, not a question, but he waited for the boy’s response regardless. As soon as he nodded in agreement, Jonathan lifted him up, carrying him out of the cold, miserable alleyway.

Scarecrow paused briefly to warn the Penguin of the incoming officers through the comm he had been given, and then he was off, weaving through the streets and alleyways towards his getaway car.

…

The drive back to his safe house was quiet. The boy didn’t look over at him once, instead opting to stare out ahead of him.

…

Luckily, they were able to make it back without detection. Jonathan ushered the boy into his small apartment, sitting him down on the dingy couch that had come with the lease.

“Wait here, alright?” Jonathan said, the boy nodding once in response.

With that, he retreated into the small kitchen, looking for some sort of warm beverage.

It was nearly three in the morning now, so coffee was out of the question. He was completely out of the hot chocolate he had bought for whenever Eddie or Harley came over for a visit, so that was out too.

He supposed the only option was his chamomile tea. Did teenagers like tea? He supposed it didn’t really matter, the kid was on the run from his parents in the house of a Gotham rogue. Surely he had bigger things to worry about.

Jonathan made the drinks quickly, leaving the kitchen with two mugs in hand. He gave one to the boy, who looked up at him in surprise, before settling into his own seat.

It was an incredibly comfortable old leather armchair that he had gotten some years ago and stubbornly held onto ever since. He usually had one of the rogues he was at least somewhat friendly with pick it up when he entered Arkham.

Whenever Eddie and Harley were over, they would call it his old man chair, and he would tell them to leave.

The two of them sat quietly for a while, drinking their tea slowly. It was clear that the boy was leaving whatever headspace he had slipped into, becoming more alert (and uncomfortable) by the second.

“So,” Crane began, pausing before speaking more quietly when he saw the boy flinch, “you knew them.”

It was not a question.

The boy nodded, curling in on himself. He held the mug close to his chest, no doubt soothed by the warmth.

“They’ve been following me around for some time now,” Crane continued, “and you’re going to tell me why.”

The boy looked up at him, a pained expression written all over his face.

“You won’t believe me,” he murmured, curling up even further.

His clothes were soaked. Jonathan should have put down a towel before letting him sit down.

“Sure I will,” he said, ignoring the blood and water seeping into his furniture.

The landlord would not be happy.

“It’s gonna sound crazy.”

“I’ve been to Arkham.”

The boy paused, before mumbling something quietly.

“Again? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said,” the boy huffed, quickly changing his tone when he remembered who he was talking to, “they…think you’re a ghost.”

“A ghost,” Crane repeated flatly.

“I told you it was gonna sound crazy!” The boy protested, before wrapping his arms around himself.

“Well,” Jonathan hummed, “it’s not the strangest thing I’ve heard in Gotham. Explain it to me.”

The boy paused, glancing up at his face, no doubt looking for some sign of mockery. He found none.

Then, he opened his mouth, and explained everything he could.

Ghosts, the portal to another world, the GiW, his parents. It was all incredibly far-fetched, but also far too consistent to be made up on the spot, and Crane could tell that the boy genuinely believed what he was saying.

“…but, if you don’t believe me, fine. I know it probably sounds stupid and fake,” he mumbled, looking away.

“I’ll believe you for now,” Crane said. The boy whipped his head up, staring at him in shock.

“If I do trust that what you’re saying is true, though, then why do I show up on their equipment as a ghost? I’m not dead, and never have been.”

“Um,” the boy hummed, looking somewhat nervous. Understandable, really.

“Well, have you by any chance been involved in any lab accidents recently..?”

Jonathan Crane froze, his face dropping. The boy noticed his change in demeanor, flinching slightly.

“Penguin,” he hissed out, his voice slightly inhuman. “Cobblepot, that motherfucker.”

“Wait—calm down! The angrier you get, the easier you’ll show up on the radar!”

Crane glared down at the boy, seething with rage. He once again flinched, looking away from him. With an extraordinary amount of effort, Jonathan slumped back down in his chair, breathing deeply in an effort to calm himself.

When he cracked his eyes back open, the boy was openly staring at him, curiosity written all over his face.

As soon as he noticed Crane looking back at him, he glanced away, straightening in his seat.

“Well, you’ve given me a lot to think about. In the morning, we’re going to discuss this in a lot more detail,” he said, standing up with slow movements. The boy stood as well, hands clasped together.

“For now, though, you’re going to let me take a look at that wound of yours, and then you’re going to take a shower and go to bed.”

The rest of the night went rather quickly.

The boy was rather hesitant to show him his wound, instead assuring him that it had been properly sewn up and that he was fine. Crane was having none of it, though, and gave him a once-over just in case.

It was, very clearly, the kind of cut used during an autopsy. Danny didn’t offer any information, so Crane had to assume that he was either back from the dead, or he had been vivisected. Either was possible in Gotham.

At the very least, Danny hadn’t lied about the stitches, and the wound was already beginning to heal.

With that, Danny showered quickly (he leapt out with a shriek the moment the hot water ran out), and went to bed in borrowed clothes without much complaint.

Thus, Jonathan was left with cold water for his shower, and slept on the still-damp couch so that the boy could have a bed to sleep in. Somehow, he found that he didn’t mind as much as he thought he would.

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #dc x dp fic #liminal scarecrow #AWWAWAW IM DONE #FINALLY #this was super fun to write btw #edited while I was sick in bed so if the paving’s still bad there’s not much I can do about it HDKFNSJDJF #*pacing

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illustratedartist · 6 months

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Jervis Tetch A.K.A The MAD HATTER 🎩🫖

OK So someone sent me an ask on here and unfortunately I can't find where it disappeared to-SO I'M VERY SORRY!

This person asked if I could make a reference sheet of my Hatter and share some headcanons, if I had any. I've never really done this before, or even had many headcanons so please bare with me lol. I didn't go into too much detail, Im not really a writer so I just tried to get the main points through.

Down The Rabbit Hole:

Has paranoid schizophrenia, and often hallucinates, especially when stressed. He mostly sees characters from Alice in Wonderland, seeing the Cheshire cat or “Alice” the most.

When very stressed or feel like hes losing control of a situation, he begins to stutter horribly. His words get jumbled in his mind, and thats when he starts reciting quotes or poems from AIW relevant to the situation hes in. Before he became the Mad Hatter, and became a criminal he stuttered constantly while speaking to anyone.

Jervis controls people by drugging and hypnotizing them, But the strongest form of mind control he has are the masks he puts on his “Guests”.

For goons or regular street thugs he manages to get, he mostly uses cards on them instead of wasting materials to make masks for them. Figuring It would be easier than having Batman break them and forcing him to constantly remake the same ones over and over.

Also its a chance to call his thugs the “Card Guards” which amuses him.

His goons don’t matter much to him, but if he assigns you a specific character, you are highly important to his “Tea Parties” and are at risk of being forced to attend indefinitely.

For his “Tea Party” guest list, he has crafted actual masks for them to wear, in correlation to the Character he assigned to each guest. He does make sure the guests are drugged with his special tea before putting the masks on them. Wouldn’t want to risk having you manage to break free of his control during the party! Or ever.

March Hare=Scarecrow, Dormouse= Riddler, White Rabbit= Ventriloquist, Cheshire Cat= Catwoman, The Dodo= Penguin, Mock Turtle= Mr.Freeze, Queen of Hearts= Poison Ivy, The Walrus= Bane, The Jabberwocky= Batman

He customizes the masks so they even resemble the actual people.

His closest friends are Jonathan Crane, and Edward Nygma, his March Scare and Dorrat.

Jonathan was a psychologist so he knows how to handle Jervis, and can tolerate him for the most part. Edward on the other hand may think Jervis is a useful ally, but he's not nearly as patient with him as Jonathan is. Neither of them like being called by their "nicknames" Jervis gave them.

Jervis fell in love with the woman he had been working with, before he became a criminal, that put everything into motion. Her actual name wasn't Alice, but they both bonded over their fondness for the story, and he started to call her Alice as a fun nickname or inside joke. Though his obsession with her had already begun.

After losing it, and becoming a criminal and kidnapping "Alice" he was defeated by Batman, (Much like how it happened in BTAS). "Alice" fled Gotham after this, but Jervis doesn't know that, and is too far gone to realize that she would leave him. SO he roams the streets of Gotham looking for his beloved "Alice".

OK THAT'S IT! At least these were all I could think of. Obviously my Jervis is heavily based off the Arkham series and BTAS. But I love this little crazy guy.

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maxwell-grant · 2 months

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So... Thoughts on The Penguin trailer?

youtube

I'm trying to reign in my optimism a bit and be a little more cautious, but so far: ahahahah oh man, oh man oh man, I'm really excited for this.

God I gotta get back on my Sopranos watch, I gotta start making time for it again. I mean, it's been a terrific show so far, I'm not just watching it because of this, but out of everything we've seen so far this trailer is the biggest "we're doing The Sopranos" thing I've seen from them yet.

I love the mention of Rex Calabrese here and the recontextualization of his character, and how Oswald views him. For comparison's sake: In Batman Eternal, Rex Calabrese was brought up as a brutal ruler who ripped throats out with his teeth and terrified all the other cops and crime families into obeying him and who understood the natural order through which he was supplanted by Falcone, who was then supplanted by Penguin. But here, he talks about Rex Calabrese as a childhood hero who helped people, who was given a funeral parade as a show of love from the people. That's the kind of person Oz idolizes, the kind of life he wants and is starting to think he will never get to have.

Here's one of the big reasons why this is already the best take on Gangster Penguin there's ever been, and the thing I love the most about this trailer, and something that absolutely defined him in the movie as well: Oswald is completely delusional about what being a gangster actually means.

Oswald here is a guy who had his heart broken in the movie because Falcone, the guy he followed and obeyed and looked up to with every breath, turned out to be a backstabbing piece of shit, with Oswald clearly kept in the dark about the nastier things Falcone got up to. He gets very offended at the suggestion he murdered Annika or that he did the Riddler's serial killer rat maze trap, and in that deleted scene where he tries to pay Selina and keep her from going underground, he clearly wants to be the guy who treats his staff allright and pays them what they need and tries to shield her from the grubby animals downstairs that he on some level finds disgusting (even though they're on his club, and he's providing them with what they want, and he's shielding the worst one of all).

And now he's sitting here talking about his old hero, a gangster from his neighborhood who reached out to people in the street and helped them, who died with his pride in hand and was beloved by his community for it. The kind of guy that Oswald emotionally talks about as someone he wants to be like, as he's getting ready to go to war and shoot and stab and blow up people in a crumbling nightmare city.

This is, in spite of everything, a guy who is very, very preoccupied with being some kind of gentleman, or at least more of a gentleman than the criminals he cavorts with, and a guy whose vision of himself doesn't match the reality of what he does, and a guy who has made a ridiculous cartoon of himself in order to try and forcing that childish idea into reality. This is a Penguin who lives and dresses and acts as an absurd child's idea of a rich and powerful man, except what that entails has changed.

Instead of wanting to be the romantic aristocrat, instead of playing the cultured gentleman thief, this Oswald wants to be the friendly gangster. He wants to be the neighborhood king who runs soup kitchens and helps old ladies cross the street and inspires beaten-down insecure loser kids like him to strive for more, the mafioso who looks out for women and kids and isn't scared of the cops and gets funeral parades for being such a swell guy who just does a little crime ova here every now and then, eeyy, c'maan.

Oswald here has the same dream as Giorno Giovanna, from JoJo Part 5, and he saw Rex Calabrese as the distant mysterious gangster who looked out for Giorno and invisibly kept bullies from picking on him and made the neighborhood treat him decently, who showed him what real power, power to protect himself and others, looks like, and he very clearly wanted to project that kind of fantasy onto Falcone, who is an actual gangster, and thus doesn't act remotely the way Oswald thinks they ought to act.

Oswald here wants to be the Depression-era honorable mafioso, just as outdated and fictional and mismatched a character in our time as the gentleman thief aristocrat was to the 1940s, and to me that feels like the first time anyone's really made Penguin-as-Gangster be a concept worth it's weight and play into makes him so engaging a character. It's just instead of being a burglar and crimelord who reads Raffles and quotes Shakespeare, this Oswald is a Tony Soprano who prays every night to be Don Corleone once he grows up.

And he might even get his chance! Because the way things are going in Gotham, with the city destroyed and in need of rebuilding, with the entire infrastructure crumbled and the mob having lost their figureheads and supply, and Oswald holding one of the few structures not completely totaled, he has the opportunity of a lifetime here to swoop in and play the Capone/Dillinger to this Depression-flavored Gotham.

And I'm really curious as to where he's heading within the show: whether he's going to make this fantasy of his work and be the reasonable flexible-but-unbeatable crimelord and the sole player remaining in town, or whether the downfall of organized crime in Gotham and the rise of the weirdos means that our beloved waddling freak is going to have to come to terms with what he actually is, and grab his colorful suits and his new name and make some umbrella guns to embrace and ride his bizarre awfulness into the sunset.

#replies tag #superheroes #dc comics #batman #penguin #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #colin farrell #matt reeves #hbo max #the batman

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le-sluagh · 21 days

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#5 Incorrect Batman: Vigilante (My AU)

Riddler: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Scarecrow: Okay, but in my defense, Mad Hatter bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Riddler: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

*****

Penguin: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Riddler: What?

Penguin: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.

*****

Scarecrow, in Harley Quinn’s window: I knew we would find you here!

Harley Quinn: Why didn’t you use the door?

Joker, climbing past Scarecrow: Where would be the fun?

Harley Quinn:

Scarecrow:

Joker:

Harley Quinn: True.

*****

Riddler: You call yourself my best friend, but where were you when my riddle, I post on internet, only had four likes?

Catwoman: Making four accounts.

Riddler, tearing up: Really...?

*****

Harley Quinn, searching on internet, and see “updog” everywhere: Guys, what is an updog?

Riddler: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Penguin: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Two Face: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Mad Hatter: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Scarecrow: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Poison Ivy: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Harvey Dent: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is-

Joker: It’s a joke.

Everyone: Wh-

Joker: It’s really just a joke. So please, stop destroying the fun here.

*****

Scarecrow: I think Riddler was right.

Mad Hatter: I'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Scarecrow: He wouldn't say that.

Riddler: You're right, Scarecrow. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Riddler: *turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'Riddler Told You So' on the back*

*****

Riddler: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Harley Quinn: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Joker: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Mad Hatter: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Scarecrow: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Two Face, annoyed: You are disappointments

*****

Riddler: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

*****

Joker: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Lex Luthor, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Joker:

Joker: fsh

*****

Alfred, driving Bruce and Dick: So how was your day?

Dick Grayson: I almost got surprise adopted!

Alfred: What?

Bruce Wayne: He almost got kidnapped.

Alfred: Oh, okay.

Alfred: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

*****

Harley Quinn: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Penguin: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Joker: Oh wow, my past memories! Thank you for finding this!

Poison Ivy: I knew I lost that hope somewhere!

Two Face: My moral code, is that you?

Harley Quinn:

Harley Quinn: I was just gonna show you this cool toy trunk of my childhood, but do you guys need a hug?

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mariailoveyou-guerin · 1 month

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I love them so much y’all don’t even understand every couple of years decades really there’s a couple or on screen ship that’s so insanely good with palpable chemistry and sexual tension that my brain chemistry gets altered in way that’s not for the sane people the serotonin and buzz be so strong no dr*yg could ever make me feel that way! that even tho logically I’m my mind I know it’s just acting and they are doing their job incredibly annoyingly well I still believe it with all my heart that they are in fact dating and are happy and aren’t just saying anything because they don’t wanna let people in on their life which is fair I know it’s wrong and silly and just very dvmb bc it’s just acting very very phenomenal brilliant acting but damn and 80% of the time they were or ended up as couple later on sure few weren’t and didn’t but it all started with JD/WR BP/AJ Sandra x Keanu, Jake x Anne Kiera x James(James with anyone really Christina Anne) Anne Kiera with anyone too, Margot x Will, Ian x Nina, Sophia x Austin, Ryan x Sarah (this one hurts still bc wdym they dated longer then they was alive on the show?) sometimes the actors be doing not even a bit to much but wayyy over the board to much actually, Nicole x Micheal then came stonefiled then came Haesoo jisoo x haein and now we are here in this dilemma that should get into a psych ward next to the riddler joker and penguin with lukenewton and nicolacoughlan they are the worst too

I fight with my mind constantly telling myself it’s just acting then I be like really is it? Is it really just acting that kinda of unhinged chemistry brilliance cant just be acting it’s to much to be acting only😂! be careful the brain plays tricks on you and so the actors bc to them it’s just a job while to others(me) it’s a straight jacket signs and mental illness signs! Clear sign of breakdown

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sister-lucifer · 1 year

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what’s wrong with you based on your favorite batman villain

(don’t take these too seriously)

(sequel to this post)

The Riddler: Holy shit shut the fuck up for two seconds PLEASE. i know you have a touch of the tism and crave to derail every conversation to talk about your special interest but no one else is having fun. this is why you don’t have any friends. You also have a very niche and the second most expensive taste in clothing so you only have like 3 outfits to mix and match. You either dress like you’re going to the Met Gala or like a dad on vacation, no in between

The Penguin: STOP FUCKING IMPULSE BUYING!!! YOU HAVE TOO MANY TRINKETS!!! YOU DONT NEED IT JUST BECAUSE ITS PRETTY!!!! You have the most expensive taste in clothing, especially victorian undergarments, and spend an embarrassing amount of money to dress like a vampire. And stop being so hard on your body. It might not always be the perfect image of what you want, but it’s doing its best, even if you have to help it out a bit.

Harley Quinn: Sweetheart, I promise you are more than just your sex appeal. I know you grew up around misogyny and were raised to be a housewife but you’re free now!! Well…you would be if you stopped picking the shittiest men. A relationship does not define you, stop settling for assholes because you feel ashamed for being single. Have you tried dating a woman? No, seriously, try it. You deserve it

The Joker: Stop using your humor to deflect from your trauma, i bet your back hurts from carrying the weight of being the funniest person in your friend group. You’re a big time maximalist who spends an hour picking out a hundred accessories to wear and wind up being late because you couldn’t choose which kandi bracelets were best for the occasion. You’re still holding on to the last shreds of your teenage edgelord phase. Also clean your damn room and throw away those old drink cans, nasty ass

Catwoman: How does it feel to be the sexiest person in the room at any given time? Not good, I bet, since you struggle to make friends because of how often they wind up to only be after your body. Sorry you can’t catch a break. You’re probably still carrying money saving habits you got from your parents when you were a kid even though you don’t need to now. Also please try wearing a color besides black, it’s almost summer, you’re gonna die of heatstroke. Nice eyeliner though

Poison Ivy: Dude, so many people are crushing on you rn, how do you not see this?! You’re so hot but soooo emotionally unavailable, christ. A boy in middle school said something uncomfortable to you once which was then reinforced by the misogynistic micro aggressions you were subject to as a teenager and it’s kinda tainted your entire view of the male gender, which is fair but also kinda sucks.

The Scarecrow: Daddy issues, daddy issues everywhere. He was scary as fuck, wasn’t he? Your fear was valid. You really love to analyze people which wouldn’t be an issue if you could actually be subtle about it. Stop staring, you creep. Also, that flannel doesn’t look as good as you think it does, you look like a depressed lumberjack. Like please just buy a cardigan. Halloween is your favorite holiday and you get really annoying about it around mid august. And remember to brush your fuckin hair for gods sake

The Mad Hatter: You get like…reeeeaaaally weird about your crushes, man. Like whatever you’re doing it’s not normal. You can just talk to them, you know. You have the weirdest sexual interests but they’re more so hyper specific and niche than gross or unsettling. That’s better, I guess? You gotta leave your headspace and live in reality for a bit, man. I know it kinda sucks, but there are real people here! Also you’re short. Gross

#batman #batman rogues #the riddler #edward nygma #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #the joker #the scarecrow #jonathan crane #mad hatter #jervis tetch #poison ivy #pamela isley #catwoman #selina kyle

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pastrydragon · 1 year

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What do the rogues smell like? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I know you probably asked this as a joke but I thought deeply about it anyway so here you go!

Riddler:

Lemon and lavender soaps.

Edward's dad was a hoarder and so Edward has a thing about his space being clean.

when he got his first apartment he kept it obsessively clean and as a side effect of this the place always smelled like the lemon and lavender cleaning products he'd scrubbed the place with.

And since this was the first place Edward ever felt safe, he ended up associating those scents with safety.

So all his soap and cleaning products to this day are either lemon or lavender scented, so he inevitably ends up with a near permanent air freshener like scent.

Scarecrow:

Pumpkin pie now but used to smell like chemicals.

Harley got him a basket of pumpkin spice everything as a gift for his birthday one year after he developed a toxin variation that was particularly pungent and he wasn't gonna waste perfectly good hygiene products!

And he has a genuine love for pumpkin taste so he keeps cans of it around to put in his pancakes every morning.

So yeah, The Master Of Halloween smells like thanksgiving.

You can still smell the chemicals if you get close though.

Mad hatter:

“Iris Poudre” by Frederic Malle, he doesn’t care that it’s a women’s perfume, he wants to smell like a sexy flower garden and everyone else can mind their own business.

Under the perfume he smells like whatever tea he drank that day and possibly like whatever sugary treat he baked to go with it.

Unless he's been in his lab all day, then he smells like metals and plastic.

And once in a blue moon when he needs to do some intense testing, cool ranch Doritos.

Except he never brings food down there with him so how....?

Mr. Freeze:

His condition causes him to have a permanent fresh snow smell which he was pleasantly surprised by.

Like the other scientists on this list carries a kind of "laboratory smell" with him.

His suit smells... weird. Like you can smell that a person was there but there's no sweat smell and its honestly a little off-putting. Luckily he cleans it very regularly.

He used to wear “Angel’s share” by Killian because Nora has good taste and wasn’t gonna let her husband smell like detergent and nothing else.

He'll start wearing it again when she wakes up.

Penguin:

“Tobacco Vanille” by Tom Ford mainly. The man wants to ooze class.

He also wears it because he always has a cigar after his lunch and dinner so he needs to wear something he knows won't clash scents with his Arturo's.

And if you're thinking that smell is strong, that's on purpose.

Oswald has a small group of birds in his atrium that he cares for personally out of affection, and because of that if you get right up close to him you’ll smell bird cage. Not great.

He might also smell like seafood after meals but not really in a bad way, more in a "Well fuck, now I'm craving Red Lobster!" way.

TwoFace:

“REPLICA jazz club” Because before he was Twoface he was a snazzy lawyer who wanted to smell like how big band music sounds.

There's also the medicine he puts on his acid burns which smells exactly how you’d expect it to.

The two mixing together isn't unpleasant but it is a bit confusing to get a whiff of if you don't know who it's coming from.

It smells kinda like an expensive hospital room.

He might also smell like Bloody Mary's if he's had a bad day.

Harley:

“Tutti Fruity Candy” by Bath and bodyworks

Unless she’s going to one of Oswald’s fancy parties, Then she wears “Into The Night”…. Also by bath and bodyworks.

She also smells a bit like bubblegum.

She smells like how a slumber party feels I think.

Just smells like fun!

Catwomen:

Has accumulated an impressive collection of expensive perfumes as gifts from various gentleman friends over the years and uses them almost at random so literally no one knows until she shows up.

She also smells a bit like cats.

Poison Ivy:

ROSES

Like a very aggressive rose smell.

Like you aren’t allowed to wear rose scented perfume in Gotham because it makes people try to evacuate the area.

Ivy could smell like any flower she wanted of course.

But who doesn't love roses?

Bane:

Harley strikes again and got him Dr. Squach products because he's Mr. manly man and she thought it was funny.

He shares John's "waste nothing" philosophy and used all of it, then bought more because he liked it.

His favorite scent is alpine sage but he changes it up sometimes.

He also smells like 24 hour fitness, because obviously.

He might also smell like peanut butter protein shakes.

Bookworm:

Musty dusty book smell.

He smells like a socially awkward moth eaten carpet.

He smells like an old arm chair with a cat sitting in it.

He smells like cocoa butter because he is an ashy bitch who needs to be moisturized.

Please buy him some cologne.

Killer Croc:

Waylon's home may be in the sewer but his home also happens to be beachfront property, so he smells like ocean mainly.

With all his free time between heists and such, Waylon often takes on elaborate cooking projects with a focus on BBQ and smoking meat. Which means he smells like a plethora of kitchen spices, smoke and herbs.

Maybe it's the alligator skin, maybe it's the jackets he wears, but he always smells a little like leather.

So the entire effect is "Bar and grill by the ocean with those really nice leather booths"

Please make him into a cologne.

Music Meister:

He avoids scented products to avoid irritating his respiratory system in any way.

So He just smells like a clean human.

Possibly lemon and honey from trying to soothe those vocal cords with weak tea.

Joker:

Is also a basic bath and bodyworks bitch, he wears “Among The Clouds”.

He does class it to the roof for formal events though and switches to "English Promenade 19" By Krigler.

If you catch him without any scent on he smells slightly acidic and some other rogues would describe him as smelling "sickly". He's not physically sick as his doctors can attest, in fact his chemical bath raised the PH across his body so he can't even get most diseases anymore.

Because of this he can tend to overdue it on the scent to hide the sickly and chemical smells.

Like Jervis, Joker often smells like his baking projects. (Except the project is almost exclusively some sort of pie.)

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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 6 months

Note

Hi, I love your writing, could I request fluff hcs for Riddler, Penguin, Scarecrow, and Two Face with an S/O who loves stroking their hair?

"Hair Stroking" Riddler, Penguin, Scarecrow, Two-Face x Reader

Absolutely, love! Let's see what we can cook up for you today. I relate to this on either side, I love having my hair stroked by someone I trust and I like doing it.

TW: None

Riddler

Oh. Oh. The very first time you do it, he's melting. Full on in his seat, sinking into whatever chair he's doing. If he was speaking, it slowly fades out to a comfortable hum. A love-struck smile on his face.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure?" He's almost singing your praises. It's been stated on this blog before, but Edward is affection and touch starved. Something small and intimate like that would be such an emotional reward for him. Kissing whatever parts of you he can reach depending on position, the mellowed out sigh on contact.

He's almost catlike in the way he'll enter a room on a bad day and insist on laying with his head in your lap or even sitting on the floor in front of you (despite his bad knee). Then practically grabbing your hand to put in his hair. Stroke now, please.

Penguin

Insists he doesn't need all that. At first he makes the assumption that you're doing it for him rather than you. Wanting to show him you don't mind touching him, past self esteem issues, etc etc. He'll feel... rather embarrassed finding out that you just like to do that. What narcissism- Who is he, Nygma?

Once he knows it's something you genuinely enjoy, he'll give you plenty of opportunities in private to do that. Perhaps even during meetings as a power-play. You in a slinky outfit, one arm over his shoulder and the other playing with the back of his hair as he talks down to some bit player in the city.

One way he really likes it is if the two of you are in the tub- He'll move over to sit in front of you, careful to not put his full weight on you- eyes closing as you massage in shampoo with the hair stroking. Makes him feel like royalty.

Scarecrow

Tells himself at first he allows you to do it because you obviously like it. Man can be prickly, whether he intends to be or not. The first time he may have even jumped a little at the contact. Not out of fear, no, he insists to himself. A majority of his life this sort of affection has been missing. It's strange to get used to now.

It's when he leans against you while the two of you are on the couch and you just sort of... absentmindedly do it. It's so soft and genuine he can't help but enjoy it. He doesn't notice he's putting his dead weight on you unless you say something. Then he's quickly sitting up as if he's forgotten himself.

It'll take time for him to fully relax into the hair-stroking. He ends up really enjoying it when he's reading and you're either watching something or reading over his shoulder. The two of you laying together. Every once in a while he'll gaze up for a kiss.

Two-Face

Harv will say it's goofy and he doesn't think it's necessary. If you want to, sure, but don't expect him to fawn over like some people. This is before Harvey realizes how much he likes it and gets enjoyment from it. Winding down after a rough day of running things in Gotham and here you both are, a glass of wine in his hand and your hands in his hair. It's pampering that he deserves.

Once Harv has seen this a couple times, he feels irritated. No, he doesn't care, if Harvey likes it and he doesn't that's fine- Yet he pushes himself to the front of speaking while you're doing it to Harvey at some point. He growls low out of the scarred side of his face. Don't say it. Don't say a fucking word about him being jealous. Just... keep doing what you're doing and kiss him already.

Between the two of them, Harvey still enjoys it much more it's true. It's very affectionate and puts him in a fantastic headspace. Fuzzy and warm. Harv wants it when he's feeling more vulnerable and needs a bit of reassurance. There are times when the two of them sit "side by side" within their mind and bask in the love. Watching Columbo reruns or Matlock.

#Riddler #Penguin #Scarecrow #Two-Face #foxwriting

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aflamboyanceofflamingos · 18 days

Text

So I've been dealing with a really bad fever for the last few days, and apparently i had written something i have no recollection of writing so here it is:

~~~~~~~

Tim had dug himself into a hole.

To anyone that knew him, that fact wouldn't be too surprising. Tim had always been a very capable individual, but every now and then he became too in love with how capable he was and he would trip over his own ego. Usually the boy could get out of the messes he created, the sudden humbling giving him a clear head, but this time, he didn't think he could climb his way out on his own.

The first shovel of dirt of this metaphorical hole came over 4 years ago, lining up with the first shovel of dirt of a literal hole.

Jason Todd had died. Robin had died.

Batman was in shambles.

And 13 year old Tim Drake thought that because of the knowledge he had, it was his responsibility to fix him.

Batman needed a Robin, and despite what Nightwing had implied, Tim was nowhere near cool enough to be Robin.

So what would make Batman get his own sidekick? If his enemies had one! Batman would be forced to find someone else to deal with the sidekick while he dealt with the actual Rouge.

The Joker was obviously out. Beyond the fact that the Joker was horrible, Tim may be joining up with a villain but that didn’t mean he wanted Batman to hate him.

That meant he needed to find someone Batman didn’t enact a lot of violence on. That got rid of the Scarecrow and the various crime bosses (Black Mask, the Penguin, etc.). Bruce had been close to Harvey Dent, but a 50% chance of death was a percentage that was just a little too high for Tim (oh how that would change). Most of the lower tier Rouges (Kite Man, Mad Hatter, etc.) had gone under after the got wind of Batman's fury, not to mention that Tim really didn't want to spend his days smelling like ketchup. Poison Ivy and Killer Croc were cool, but their skills weren't exactly ones Tim could replicate.

That left Mr. Freeze, Catwoman, Harley Quinn, and the Riddler.

The Mr. Freeze was more gentle with kids, their “villiainly” being based on the actions of adults, and the latter three were in it for their own interests rather than the purpose of killing or invoking fear, Catowman wanted shiny things, Harley wanted chaos and fun, and while the Riddler didn't share the same soft spot for kids, he respected intelligence.

Tim chose Catwoman; the least lethal, and the closest with Batman. The skills she could teach him would also be more helpful in other situations.

It took about a week from the day he knocked on Selina Kyle's door to convince her to train him, but soon enough, a couple days before his 14th birthday and a few more calls to 911 about petty thieves left in the wake of Batman’s grief then Tim would have liked, “Stray” entered the scene.

And his plan was working!

The first time Batman had seen the second pair of cat ears he had paused mid ass-kicking of a carjacker and followed the duo, leaving the guy with more teeth then the others.

Slowly but surely, as time went on, the punishments the Batman inflicted started to fit the crime. By the time Tim was 15, he even thought he had seen a small upturn at the corner of Bruce’s mouth as he witnessed a bit of friendly banter between the two cats!

This was when the young villain had started to become a tad bit overconfident. In his defense, he had managed to keep his identity hidden from even Oracle! Lifts in his shoes, a voice modulator, make-up to disguise his facial features, along with a set of the same goggles Catwoman had kept and physical information from being revealed, and Tim Drake never interacted with Selina Kyle so there was no reason that anyone should have suspected him.

That overconfidence is what led him to replicate his plan. If one Rouge sidekick had benefits, then two Rouge sidekicks would mean double the benefits!

Solving riddles wasn’t too hard for the young boy, being able to see double meaning and red herrings was a skill taught to him by Janet Drake, and he took to the escape-room-esque plans for his heists quite easily. The thing he couldn’t figure out was creating riddles of his own. Mother had taught him that knowledge was power, you only reveal it if there was something to be gained, so purposely revealing information about his intention, helping his opponent was not something Tim was accustomed to, not bound to the compulsion to always tell the truth.

If the boy truly wanted to replicate the Riddler, then he would have to learn from the man himself.

Convincing the enigmatic man to teach Tim was easier than it had been with Catowman, the impressive display of bypassing the puzzles that hid the location of the game-playing criminal certainly helping.

Now, 15 years old with an unexplained skill boost in his AP Lang class (the lessons on wordplay were a definite help), The Riddler’s protege, ‘The Puzzler’ became the newest addition to the Gotham Rogues. He resented that name by the way. It was supposed to be Sibyl or Sphinx, they were on theme because they spoke in riddles and though he would deny it, the use of greek figures were his own little way of mocking Oracle, who still couldn’t figure out his identity. But apparently Poison Ivy and the Riddler had brunch once a month (something about being the green Rouges?) and she had heard the Riddler refer to him as “the little puzzle piece” when he was talking about his apprentice and the puzzle theme stuck despite how uncreative the name was.

This is when things became a bit hectic. Not only did Tim have to hide his nightlife from Batman and his parents, now he had to keep his two mentors from realizing that their mentees were the same person.

He managed to convince Selina that the reason he was so busy lately was the AP classes that came with sophomore year, and while it wasn’t a lie, it certainly wasn’t the full story.

Nygma was easier to deceive. Tim had refrained from sharing his actual identity with the man (just because he would tell the truth in his puzzles for the sake of theme didn’t mean that he would be sharing personal information if it wasn’t needed. The only reason he hadn't hid it from Selina was to gain her trust, something that wasn’t needed with the Riddler) so just saying that he was busy was enough.

All the effort was worth it though. Things kept getting better.

Nightwing was seen in Gotham more often, and Spoiler (someone who Tim initially thought was trying to steal his thing by being a sidekick of the Cluemaster, only to realize she was working against him) had been seen fighting alongside the Batman one or twice.

On an unrelated note, Stephiane Brown suddenly had her tuition for Gotham Academy paid for in full by the newly created Jason Todd Foundation.

Since things were going so well, he decided to push his luck a little further.

Unfortunately for Tim, he would soon realize the reason he was known for his bad luck in the future.

It started off like other times. Tim convinced Harley Quinn to take him under her wing, and “Ace” made their debut along with Tim’s 5 in AP Psych (Thank you Dr. Quinzel).

Steph and Tim happened to share a few classes together, and went from study buddies (Tim helping her in Chem, and Steph helping him in American History) to close friends.

Spoiler officially joined the Bats, and there were rumors of another bat joining the clan as well. Well there were no actual rumors, but the newest Wayne kid, Cassandra, had started joining him and Steph at their lunch table so her becoming a new bat wouldn’t be too surprising.

Soon enough though, things went to shit.

To start off, the first time Spoiler met Ace, she threw a brick at his head.

Second, His parents had caught him sneaking out and had grounded him, meaning that he now had to wait until they did their last check on his room at 12:00 to sneak out.

The lack of sleep was starting to catch up to the highschooler. Handling 3 separate nightlife identities was hard enough, but doing so while exhausted was even harder.

After pulling an all nighter to study for a test the night before, he had gone to Selina’s apartment dressed as Ace, and had both costumes not been mostly black he would have been undoubtedly caught before he managed to fix his mistake.

Puzzler once spent a whole night sounding like Stray, and he didn’t think that his “sore throat” lie was all that believable.

Tim accidentally made a cat pun instead of a bat one when engaging in vaguely flirty banter with Spoiler as Ace and Harley had set him down to have the talk, stating that she would love him no matter who he liked and she would be happy to serve as a wingman for him and Catwoman’s protege. It would be funny if it wasn’t so embarrassing.

Third, Cassandra Wayne definitely knew something.

Tim’s “rumors” were right. 2 weeks after Cass had first joined their table Black Bat made herself known. By pinning Puzzler to the ground.

The next day Cass spent the entire lunch period staring at Tim. When he attempted to throw her off by invoking a mix of Stray and Ace’s mannerisms she stopped staring, instead choosing to freak Tim out more by smiling knowingly. At his wide eyes she mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key only throwing Tim off further. Cass was too smart to not have known, but there was no reason she wouldn’t tell if she did know, right?

Last, but not least, and the worst of all:

Jason Todd was alive.

~~~~~~~

I have no clue where i was going with that last line, but i see a vision, so I'm hoping it will come back to me, but if not, any suggestions or constructive criticism (or a better puzzle themed name for tim) would be helpful

#If there are grammar issues i blame the fever #also i am now more concerned about my dc obsession #Cause beyond the fact that i apparently wrote this #i also kept hallucanituion Diana Prince (voiced by Grey Griffin) working through the problems on my AP CSA Exam #I might be in a little too deep #tim drake #batfam #dc #selina kyle #the riddler #catwoman #edward nygma #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #fanfic #wip

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bat-writer · 1 year

Note

Hi! Couldn't find rules so I hope this is alright!

Could I please request Bruce Wayne getting close to a suspect just to see if she's going to be dangerous but ends up falling hard for her? She's not dangerous but she's a bit of an anti-hero and is an accomplice to a bigger villain, how's that like for him? She doesn't really do anything bad, she just doesn't do anything when the villain she's accompanying does something bad

Ty!!

A/N: I'm not sure if this is exactly what you were looking for but I hope you enjoy! 😭

Warnings; language | ~~~~: time skip

‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿ ‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿

"Hey Alred, how have you been since the last time?" you ask taking the tea cup he served you. Now this was not a regular visit to just a friend. No, no, this was an interrogation.

By the Batman.

Now you weren't villain but you also weren't a hero. Not your style. You just needed benefits to get by, get fed, and have your bills paid. You'd pair with villains and simply get the information they needed. Bruce's issue with you is that you knew too information. The way that he would find out information is the same way you did. Only you were faster, more detailed and you always slipped away at the last minute.

Luckily you didn't provide information that would put other people in harms way. Although sometimes you did end up stealing or blackmailing those of higher social class into benefiting those who really needed it. However, he can't hold you to any crimes since, you never committed them nor were you an accessory at the scene. It has gotten to the point however that you come to the Batcave often to be asked questions. Even Alfred and you interact and even trade secrets to house keeping and cooking.

"So batman, what do we have questions about today?" you ask as the tall stoic hero comes into the room.

"You're aiming for certain organizations. Ones that are in charge of rebuilding a school. Why?" he asked with his signature glare

"looks bats," you sigh "those organizations aren't what you'd think they were. Sure they're made to look like they're for a good cause, but in the end they're all greedy assholes"

He huffs underneath the mask "So, stealing from-"

"The corrupt rich correct." you smile "And it's not just limited to snobby rich boys, but bigger villains like Penguin, Two-face, even Riddler had a couple of dollars to take just to name a couple."

"They don't donate," he added

"I know, but I need some way to keep my rent paid and keep them from blowing shit up, causing more work for you." you smirked at him

"I'm keeping you here for a couple of days just to lighten things up" he said as he pushed the buttons on his panel to open a clear cell.

"Ugh the cell again?" you groan "Wasn't I doing what a good citizen does though Bats?" you ask as you walk along side him. This wasn't the first time you spent the weekend with the Bat. But, since you weren't a threat to society, yourself or him, he was pretty relaxed around you. He opens the door for you to enter but you stop before stepping in

"pay me a visit after you patrol?" you said looking up at him seductively as your hand slides over his armored chest. You just loved teasing the ever so strong hero of Gotham "I get lonely ya know" you smile

"For now the books will keep you company. Alfred is here if you need help." he said stepping away.

Under neath that mask and armor was also a man who would yearn for the feeling of love. However, because of who he was, what he was - it was complicated.

"Alfred I'm heading out"

"Of course sir, anything I should be aware of?" he asks

"Nothing that I can recall. Y/N is in the cell for today and tomorrow night" he said getting into his bat mobile

"So no love affairs for tonight then?" he asks as the advanced vehicle closes with a hiss

"Keep things in control please" he asked dodging the question. This wasn't the first time this has happened. There has been playful banter, some flirting and maybe even a kiss on the cheek. Alfred would tease the hero in his own nonchalant way. And just like that, the billionaire hero skids from the cave and into the night.

"Looks like it's you and me tonight Alfred" you wave at the butler with a smile.

"I do believe there is a new episode of butlers 7 bucks tonight miss Y/N, would you care to join?" he said changing the large screen in the cave causing you to smile

"Of course I would"

~~~~~

Walking into the bat cave he didn't find much but you were right about villains pilling money for their own personal gain. But from the other organizations? He'll figure that out as Bruce Wayne. Looking over into the cell he sees you had fallen asleep, curled up to be as comfortable as possible.

Opening the door he takes off his cape and drapes it over your figure. Over to the next day he lets you go early since there really wasn't much more information you could give. Since you were somewhat a target for his usual villains, he'd check up every now and then to see if you were safe.

"So I'm free to go Batman?" you ask waltzing out of your cell "or is this another interrogation?"

"No more questions but I will pop in every now and then."

So every now and then he'd drop by your window and sometimes he'd stay a while and listen to you about your day. There was even one time where you had a pretty rough day and without asking you were comforted by this typically cold and quiet hero.

He held you much longer than a hug that was. You didn’t complain or push away, this felt more than a pity hug. There was want behind it, you felt his warmth. You look up at him with those e/c he loves to look into. Almost as if it were magnetic your lips come into contact with one another in a slow short kiss.

For what felt like hours staring into his eyes while his nose brushes against your own, you could feel your heart skip multiple beats. This then started happening multiple nights in a row.

Some night were sweet and innocent with some pecks or playful flirting. Some were even close to hot and heavy. Carrying you over to your countertop to enjoy your make out session as your bodies stay flush together. He’s sometimes stay a bit longer outside of your window until you fell asleep, as a precaution.

On a certain night however you were in this strange state of a passionate but also very delicate kiss. As if you had kissing for both the first and 100th time. His large hands cradling your face as he practically made you melt on the spot. You pull away to finally speak up on how you felt but, before you could even focus your vision or get your head straight he was ready to leave.

“Wait! Batman! Come on you can’t just leave like this!” You stop him

“…this Wouldn’t work Y/N. You know why…” he said trying not to sound defeated

“…i know but….couldn’t we try?” You ask teaching a hand out but drawing it back in hesitation

“We Can…but you won’t like what May come of me…” he said looking over his shoulder

“…but I could learn to like that version of you as well…” you try and plead with your eyes to him. He looks as though he wanted to elaborate on things but held himself back

“Take care of yourself, know that you aren’t in harms way” he says as he swoops off into the night.

“Ans just like that, the bat is gone” you groan as you “UGH. What am I thinking ?! This is the Batman not some guy I met at a-“ you stop as you see something stuck to your windowsill. A single piece of paper with a note

“Friday at 6. Dress nicely. -B”

“Huh, but bad bats…not bad at all” you from as you shut your blinds for the night. Tomorrow first thing in your list was to buy a dress.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

I hope this was somewhat what you were looking for! -Kitty 🐈‍⬛

#batman x reader #bruce wayne #batman #bruce wayne x reader #batman x fem!reader #dc comics #batman fanfiction #bruce wayne fanfiction #bruce wayne x fem!reader

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arabriddler · 8 months

Text

Part 4 ( find part 1, part 2, part 3 here )

Punching Edward Nygma was all Oswald needed to pick himself up again. Almost immediately , he pulled up The Penguin mask and began his siege on black gate. Reading the inmates and the guards, creating alliances, looking over deals and business. Heck, he even managed to secure some alcohol! He’s been careful about it, or tried to at least, last time he fell down the rabbit hole his best friend betrayed him and his empire was in ruins.

It was going as well as it can in Black gate. Except, every night, one image haunted him. The last look Ed gave him. Laid on the floor, looking up at him as Oswald pulled his punches long enough to register the expression.

Empty. Dead.

It was a shocking look. It shook him enough for the guards to pull him away.

Despite all the betrayals, his heart ached every-time he remembered that look. He’d known Ed at his best and his worst. Eyes lively and expressive, and if not, they were deep in thought. They always look way ahead, forward, but this time they just… gave up.

He worried about Ed’s well-being.

He was always the first to read through the Gotham Gazette newsletter , looking for anything that mentions the riddler. Thankfully, his ex-friend was always there, causing so much terror to Gotham. Oswald understood it was his feelings taking over, unleashing the storm that is Edward Nygma. Ed was mourning, just as he was.

It hurt.

One day, Oswald was snuggled up in bed when the alarms bladed loudly. He woke up in alarm and looked around nervously as all the gates opened. Was someone trying to escape? He wasn’t made aware of that. He knows all the going ins and outs of Black Gate.

Before he could inspect this further, a man barged into his cell. Guard clothes and gun in hand. In the darkness Oswald could barely recognize his face, and before he could even try to comprehend what happened, the man shot at him. He managed to barely dodge the bullet but it lodged itself in his arm. Oswald, despite the pain, was quick to to react and jump on the man to stop him. He managed to push away the gun, but his assailant roughly pressed the bullet wound and used Oswald’s pain to flip him over.

He waved a knife in hand and slashed Oswald’s right eye. He aimed again, definitely for a kill this time, but just before he could plunge the knife, he was pulled off him.

Oswald sat dumbfounded as The Riddler himself pinned the man to the floor. He took the knife from his hands and stabbed him, over and over, a feral cold look on his eyes.

As far as he knew, Ed never killed before. Whether that was a lie or he changed in the period they were apart, Oswald wasn’t sure, but it was..enthralling to watch.

When Ed stopped stabbing the body that was long dead and just a pile of shredded skin and blood by now. He sat there breathing heavily and staring at it. Oswald approached him carefully, as much as he can with the burning in his arm and eye, but the moment he called out to him and touched his shoulder, Ed turned around rapidly and pinned him to the wall.

“ why are you here, Edward?” Oswald asked, and it took a couple of times of repeating the question before he got the answer.

“ This is a planned attack, a couple of GCPD officers wanted to get rid of troublesome inmates, especially if they can operate from within like you.”

“ That’s a little extreme.”

“ I made it in time.”

“ Let me guess, so you’d kill me yourself?”

“ Yes.”

Oswald lifted up his chin, giving Ed all the space he wants.

“ Kill me then.”

But… Ed didn’t, just as Oswald suspected. He seemed to struggle for a moment, unsure what to do.

“ Why are you really here, Edward?”

“ I�� I don’t know.”

“ why did you kill that man?”

“ I don’t know!”

Oswald put his hand on Ed’s cheek, faced him openly and asked again,” Why are you here?”

“ I still love you”. Ed admitted tearfully,” I tried to hate you, I really tried but I couldn’t”.

“ Edward..”

“ You broke me.”

“ you broke me as well.”

It was hard to hear, but it was… true in a sense. They hurt each other, deeply. Betrayal from your closest friend is bitter, cruel. How could they?

But Oswald can fix this, if he can… if he can show Ed that he too is… they could go back to how it was, true and honest this time.

The words were too heavy, too hard. Oswald creased Ed’s cheek and leaned in for a kiss, but Ed shoved him away, calling him cruel and heartless for continuing such games.

“ it’s not a game!” Oswald tried desperately to explain, eyes full of tears,” I fell in love with you. Sometime, someplace. For a long time, I did, and I only realized it too late.”

“ Stop lying.”

“ I’m not lying!”

Oswald tried to touch him again, but Ed pulled away, creating a good distance between them,” I can’t. I just.”

Ed looked away, and Oswald stared at him, broken and hurt all over.

“ I missed you. “ Oswald admitted,” You were my best friend, my only friend, and I lost you,”

“ You were my friend as well.”

“ then can we pretend nothing happened?”

“ we can’t. The scars run too deep.”

“ how about we move past it? Through it then past it.”

Ed glanced at him then looked away. Looking at the body and surveying Oswald’s cell before saying,”I’ll break you out of here.”

Oswald shook his head,” No. I need to complete my sentence.”

“ but—“

“ I need to come out of here with a clean plate, a clean name. I need to rebuild my brand.”

“ Okay. Let me at least take you to the infirmary. Stay on guard until I’m sure it’s safe enough.”

“ thank you. Don’t worry about the body, I have people here to take care of that.”

In the infirmary, as Ed sat beside him, Oswald reached out to hold his hand. Ed’s hand shook in his grasp. That was definitely his first kill.

He was thrilled at the thought that Edward Nygma killed a man for him.

“ I’m sorry.”

“ I’m sorry too.”

When he woke up the next day, Edward was gone, like a dream.

(Next)

#Oswald cobblepot #The penguin #edward nygma #the riddler #riddlebird #bee’s art #nahlaverse #tw blood #I kept telling myself to keep this simple ( writing wise ) but i can’t

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finniestoncrane · 10 months

Text

💜🍴 Finnie's 1.5k Follower Event 🍴💚

CLOSED by health inspector

even though it felt like this took forever it really didn't because i've only been on here and writing for just over a year, and i'm so grateful that people still follow me despite my personality as a whole lmao, i wanted to do something silly and goofy so here's my prompt list for my milestone ;-; hello and welcome to the vill-inn, gotham's newest restaurant (and definitely 100% not a money-laundering front for nefarious rogue activity no sirree u-u) please come on in and peruse the menu and let us know what you want to eat!! send in your order + reader/insert gender/pronouns/genitals too! the restaurant is now closed as well as writing headcanons and drabbles, i'm also doing a little give away! so anyone who asks off anon (or not, check the specials menu below) i'll enter into a little silly draw for a 1k commission and pick 3 winners u-u 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block)

Hello, welcome to Vill-Inn, how will you be DIE-ning with us today?

Sit-In [drabbles/short fic]

Takeout [bullet-point/free form story/headcanon style]

Delivery [surprise me]

Great! Wonderful! What can I get you to drink? And don't say fear toxin! (I'm this close to quitting...) (pick 1)

Water [hurt/comfort]

Soda [angst]

Milkshake [fluff]

Signature Cocktail [smut/pwp]

Black Coffee [doesn't matter/surprise me]

And what will you be having for your MAIM course? (pick 1, feel free to specify the version)

Question Mark Shaped Nuggies [riddler]

Sushi Platter [penguin]

Pumpkin Ravioli [scarecrow]

Surf and Turf [two face]

Arroz con Pollo [bane]

Steak [victor zsasz]

Cucumber Sandwiches [mad hatter]

Garden Salad [poison ivy]

Gut Buster Burger [harley quinn]

Gazpacho [mr freeze]

Plain Noodles with Butter [john doe]

Gumbo [killer croc]

BBQ Platter [captain boomerang]

And what loyal side(kick)s are you having with that? (pick up to 4)

🍟 Regular Fries [waking up with them]

🧇 Waffle Fries [sex in a public place]

🍠 Sweet potato Fries [visiting them in Arkham/Blackgate]

➰ Curly Fries [only one bed]

🍁 Poutine [slow dancing]

🥔 Potato Skins [at a party]

🍕 Pizza Bites [tending to wounds]

🍗 Chicken Wings [confession/confessing feelings]

🍔 Sliders [exacting revenge]

🌭 Mini Dogs [hate/angry sex]

🍤 Popcorn Shrimp [hugs from behind]

🐔 Chicken Strips [oral sex/how they give and receive]

🍿 Cheese Popcorn [bite marks/marking kink]

🥒 Deep Fried Pickles [sloppy kisses]

🧅 Blooming Onion [being rejected]

🍘 Rice Crackers [choking]

🍞 Bread Rolls [blood play]

🧄 Garlic Bread [straddling]

🥖 Breadsticks [neck/wrist kisses]

🥪 Half Sandwich [giving/receiving praise]

🥣 Soup [argument]

🍜 Noodles [cuddles]

🍚 Steamed Rice [denial]

🦪 Oysters [rough sex]

🍣 Sushi Sampler [edging/orgasm denial]

🌽 Corn on the Cob [instructional masturbation]

🥕 Honey Glazed Carrots ["open your mouth"]

🥗 Green Salad ["do you need a hand?"]

🍅 Tomato Salad ["i have to go"]

🍏 Fruit Salad ["i shouldn't have to ask"]

🍆 Roasted Veg ["i've never done this before"]

🥦 Seared Broccoli ["i hate you"]

🧀 Cheese Platter ["it's too late"]

🍖 Meat Plate ["i've never wanted anything more"]

🍄 Sauteed Mushrooms ["do you want it rough or gentle?"]

🥑 Guacamole ["please don't leave"]

🥜 Toasted Peanuts ["i want to hear you"]

🥓 Bacon Bits ["i didn't say stop"]

💚 Specials Menu 💚

I'm Here For A Blind Date [tell me a bit about yourself and i'll do a character pairing for who you're having lunch with]

Can I Get A Seat At the Buffet? [i don't have an idea/want to ask off anon, but i want to be included in the draw - this message won't be answered]

thanks for visiting, and please feel free to tip your wait staff 💜

#finnie1500 #I’m hoping this inspires me to write a bit more!! I AM EXCITED #NOW LET US NEVER SPEAK OF MILESTONES AGAIN FOR AT LEAST FOUR YEARS HOPEFULLY #I kept looking at the follower account too much #finnie shouts into the void

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like-rain-or-confetti · 8 months

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Imagine Gotham rouges with a very Aloof S/O lol

Uh oh😂

Aloof.

The Riddler: "You should consider yourself lucky to be with me." He needs the validation. No, seriously. His brain does gymnastics because you're NOT praising him. If you're not praising him, then not only is he clearly doing something wrong, but so are you. What kind of moron gets in a relationship with a genius and fails to acknowledge the genius? That's just ridiculous, and you need to show your worth and appreciation to him. Now go away he needs to figure out something to woo and impress you.

Scarecrow: "its been 45 minutes and neither of you have said a word to one another. Trouble in paradise?" "Of course not." Such a weird couple. Neither give much of a conversation yet you two are in love? No one can see it most of the time. See when Jonathan isn't in the mood for chatter, no one -unless you were the Riddler or Jervis- could comfortably keep a conversation. Yet your apathy seemed to make it look a breeze.

Two-Face: "Get over here. We shouldn't have to ask you twice." It kinda works. It kinda doesn't. So, on one hand, when they want the space, It works well for both. Until they decide they want the attention. There isn't a middle ground it's all or nothing. Meanwhile, you're one a constant contentment of keeping your distance. This might be a bit annoying on your end because why is he so demanding all of a sudden but you don't really have a choice but to go along with it so you don't get on his bad side. In more ways than one.

Black Mask: "Are you even fucking listening to me!?" hot-headed crime lord for the mob and his apathetic significant other? Not exactly the best of both worlds. It often meant Roman got incredibly angry, and his significant other had nothing to say... making it worse and Roman spiral. Which in all honesty makes the pair really bad for each other, almost toxic. The one win is that Roman can cheat all he wants, and you won't care or you won't notice, and he'll probably do it more to try and get you to notice.

Penguin: "Can't help but notice how one sided this is. I'm giving you my heart and soul- and my money- and I barely squeeze a hug outta you." Oz -when it comes to his loved ones- is a people pleaser. He'll give you his money, his time his very soul just to feel a little bit deserving of love. The good news is, it'll be rather easy to convince him of your love. The bad news is the poor man really could use the TLC and it often looks more like a sugar daddy/sugar baby inspired relationship.

#batman #request #batman villains #batman scenarios #the riddler #scarecrow #two face #black mask #penguin #edward nygma #jonathan crane #harvey dent #roman sionis #oswald cobblepot

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maxwell-grant · 2 months

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This feels like the kind of ask someone should've gotten around to a million years ago, but it seems it falls to me: The Shadow vs. The Penguin. Is there anything there?

Anonymous asked: How would pulp heroes like the Shadow or Green Hornet respond to The Penguin. Characters like Joker or Ra’s I can see them gunning down but that feels weird to do with Oswald “Pengy For President” Cobblepot

(Penguin by Mike Mignola. The Shadow by Lela Dowling)

It's amazing, really, what you've built here. You had a vision and made it real. Every Batman in existence respects you for it, Oswald. In fact, I'll tell you a secret…people assume that Batman's last enemy on most worlds out there is Joker. Maybe Riddler, or Ra's…but it's you.

See, you grow this crime empire until he has to deal with you. - The Batman Who Laughs #3

What there is here is a bit of an impasse, because yes obviously this is brutally, comically one-sided against The Penguin. Pitting most if not all Batman villains against The Shadow is going to be already one-sided in The Shadow's favor. Pick a Batman villain, even the big ones that make Batman the underdog like Ra's and Bane, and you can name a similar threat that The Shadow already defeated. Even if you don't count superpowered cheating with whatever abilities The Shadow has this moment, he's already dealt with most of everything they can do, he's beaten these strategies and puzzles and countless death traps at their own game, and yeah there's the fact that he's known for the fact his villains don't tend to come back for round two even when they don't die facing him. Villains that he faces tend to die specifically because they try to kill him and he returns their fire (it's important to establish here that, unless his enemies have guns drawn on innocent people, The Shadow rarely shoots first - they always have a chance to lay down their arms and walk away, a chance that most obviously never take), and Penguin's known for his unwillingness to go down without a fight and for his signature move being a concealed sneak attack, which means his odds of dying are near dead certain.

In fact, The Shadow already fought a Penguin-esque guy as one of his few reocurring villains, via The Wasp, Gibson's latter day attempt to make another Voodoo Master/Shiwan Khan. The Wasp is a "Napoleon of crime" whose body and strange buzz voice and antics and operations are themed after his namesake animal/insects, who uses a concealed weapon part of said theme (an electric "sting" on his hand powered by batteries on his belt), who connects Cranston to The Shadow and was also the only villain to figure out that Kent Allard is The Shadow. He was cleverer and more resourceful and harder to defeat than most of the typical Shadow villains, and to his credit he did achieve a thing nobody else really achieved in the run, and it didn't really do him that much (learning the secret identity tends to be a death sentence for vigilantes, but for The Shadow it's really not that big a deal, given how easily he can make new ones) and he still went out like a chump, and he's only really remembered as the less impressive of the reocurring supervillains, lacking the outright superpowers of the others. It seems like a fairly closed case.

Problem is, the more comically one-sided the odds are against Oswald, the more likely he is to actually win or at least survive because of that. Going up against people who should have his goose cooked, getting away with things he absolutely shouldn't, slipping away to survive and put one over Johnny Law, that's his thing, it's been his thing from day one. He is no stranger to dealing with vigilantes or people much bigger and stronger and scarier than him, it wasn't that long ago he was walking off getting shot at point blank and later faking his death. Penguin is no common criminal, and he isn't just a guy who's unusually smart and competent at it enough to waddle among supervillains either. In his narrative domain, The Shadow is unbeatable, but in his narrative home, The Penguin is unkillable, and not just because he's a comic book villain who survives by editorial demand. He has protagonist survival clause now.

In his ups and downs over the years, he survived in large part by becoming a fixture of Gotham, someone impossible to uproot from the setting, with his ignanimous transformation into stool-pigeon and banal crimelord in part a consequence of said survival. After more or less retiring from villainy, the next step was to very gradually join the likes of Catwoman, Azrael, Harley Quinn and Renee Montoya in their careers as independent Gotham-adjacent protagonists, which is why he now gets to have his own tv series (the second one at that, because Gotham exists and if it achieved anything, it was proving that there's an audience for The Penguin Show - and yes it still is very much shitty, but also not remotely surprising, that the instant they made a version of Oswald thin, that guy became a critical and fandom darling overnight). The Penguin wormed his way into becoming irreplaceable and they tried, they tried very hard over the years to replace this guy, and he's taken some brutal lumps and fell off very hard from the Bat-villain totem pole, but even that just enabled him to ascend to a different pole and one that makes it he can't really be just another gangster or supervillain to be knocked around, and one that's almost specifically built to ensure his narrative survival. Someone who serves the story better by being alive.

Has The Shadow ever dealt with a guy like this? Yes, yes he has. The Shadow is no stranger to criminal protagonists, or the concept of nuance, or redemption. He is certainly no stranger to the gentleman of crime who is more than what he seems.

The man who entered was tall and well built. He had the manner of a gentleman. He was attired in a perfectly fitting dress suit, which he wore with the easy air of a man of the world - Kings of Crime

The gentleman of crime arose, picked up his hat and coat and reached for his cane. There, his form obscured, The Shadow stood close enough to overhear what Graham Wellerton was saying. The gentleman of crime was talking to members of his mob.

What was Graham Wellerton's purpose? How and why had the gentleman of crime parted from his men? Why was he no longer engaged in robbery? - Road of Crime

To all appearance, George Ellerby was a gentleman; and he was actually qualified to prove such a claim. But tonight, he was to be a gentleman of crime - Battle of Greed

"I wonder," said Sandersham, slowly, "just how much The Shadow can do, or intends to do. Who is he, Krengle? How powerful is he?"

"No one knows who The Shadow is," replied the lawyer. "But he is death on crooks, they say, and he considers crime to be much broader than its legal implications." - Battle of Greed

There's about 5 Shadow novels that specifically touch on the topic of redemption. There are others where it comes up, plenty of others where The Shadow goes the extra mile in giving criminals a chance, and stories that highlight the lines that The Shadow draws in deciding how to deal with criminals (“To murderers, The Shadow dealt death: to such schemes (robbery, fraud, etc), he dealt ridicule.” - The Third Shadow), but those 5 make a focus of it. In all of those 5, we meet characters that can be called a "gentleman of crime". They are cunning, respectable-looking young men who use their smarts for crime, largely because of social circumstances that force them into using criminal tactics for dealing with life-consuming problems that the law has failed them in, and The Shadow assists them in addressing and rectifying said problems and turning their lives around.

In Kings of Crime, blackmailer and swindler Hubert Carpenter. In Road of Crime, the protagonist Graham Wellerton, "bank robber deluxe". In The Broken Napoleons, engineer Curt Sturley. Battle of Greed opens with George Ellerby, although he's not really the protagonist and is stopped before he commits his first robbery, and that story has two other redemptions that pull more focus. And in House of Shadows, Kid Pell, whose tragic demise opens the story. With the exception of Carpenter, all of these young men are given understandable and even sympathetic reasons for having become criminals, as all of them became criminals specifically because the law failed them profoundly and allowed them to suffer horrible injustice and ruin upon their lives and families, while shielding those that inflicted it upon them and provided no other recourse for them, and The Shadow goes out of his way to directly or indirectly steer them away from the paths they're walking.

Out of these, only Hubert Carpenter had a body count: he is not a murderer outright, but his past deeds had pushed victims to suicide, and The Shadow fully intended to let him serve his sentence in full. It is through the involvement of innocent parties (he took a dive to get the money to his family, he was betrayed, and his wife fell ill, making him break out of jail and desperately try to get the money for her treatment by robbing an old man who turned out to be The Shadow in disguise) and Carpenter’s own serious efforts to reform himself and assist in the downfall of his far crueler former partners that he’s able to redeem himself and face a new life (The Shadow delivers a government pardon so that he serves a month instead of 10 years).

“Somehow, he knew that The Shadow would not see the innocent suffer for the guilty.” - Kings of Crime

Kid Pell, who had already shot at least 6 people and killed 2 before the story began, wasn't quite so lucky. Dying of blood loss after trying to shoot The Shadow, his last words are a plead for him to get the guy who pushed him into this path, and keep an eye on his brother Denry to stop him from going down his path (which ends up happening, but The Shadow is able to save Denry in time).

"They called me a public enemy," declared Pell. "What else could I be, after my first kill? You know what it is to be quick on the trigger. That's the way I am" - he hesitated, his smile dwindling - "or was."

"I tried crime," said the Kid. "It didn't pay. But I was in it - deep. So I stayed. I've got no excuses. I'm not even blaming the fellow that started me in it. What I did was on my own. Understand?"

"Do me a favor," muttered the dying man. "Let me be forgotten - as Kid Pell. I rigged this hideout, so I could close accounts. Let me go through with it the way I want."

The Shadow's whispered tone gave agreement. Pell's face relaxed. In the glow of the lantern, his features lost their forced hardness. It was easy to see why he had been nicknamed the Kid. His age couldn't have been more than twenty-two.

Even his surroundings spoke a pathetic story. The shelves of the trailer were provisioned for a long stay; and among the canned goods were a few jars of homemade jam; probably the very sort that he had swiped from his mother's pantry only a few years ago.

There were books, too, that dated back to boyhood. Even when he had embarked on his career as a public enemy, Kid Pell had taken these along. He was looking at them, eyes open, the jam jars and the books, and he was smiling again, Kid Pell was. But the dampness from his dying eyes was forming into little beads, like raindrops. Suddenly, the Kid's lips stiffened.

A hand was resting on the Kid's shoulder. He could feel the power of its grip: the hand of The Shadow, merciless to men of crime. To this dying youth, murderer though he was, the pressure of that hand had the warmth of friendship.

"Maybe, Shadow" - The Kid was choking the words - "I ought to have met you before. Maybe… if I had-"

The grip tightened. It brought an end to regrets that could not be remedied. It steeled the Kid for what lay ahead - House of Shadows

-the words that The Shadow delivered held Sandersham rigid. Never in his life had the millionaire listened to such pointed accusations; such words that jogged his memory, nor such tokens of prophecy. "Rupert Sandersham," came the voice, "you are a man condemned by your own avarice! You are a master, not of finance, but of greed!"

"While your wealth grows greater," resumed The Shadow's voice, "your life grows shorter. As your schemes expand, your soul shrivels. You have physical comforts, yes"—the tone was mocking—"but who knows how long you shall retain them?"

"Your power, Sandersham, is not equal to the strength of the law. There have been loopholes in your schemes, that certain eyes may discover before your attorneys plug them". - Battle of Greed

Is The Penguin sympathetic? In some ways, yes. Is The Penguin redeemable? Not a question I'm remotely interested in handing a firm "Yes/No" to, because it's kinda both and neither, redemption tends to be conditional and fickle like that, and also irrelevant to the matter here: We've established that The Shadow (again, speaking for the pulp version here, it's what I tend to do) does not go out of his way to execute criminals, but doesn't hesitate to kill them when they try to gun him or others down. Would The Shadow extend The Penguin an olive branch and spare his life in the hopes that he'd come around and use his impressive intellect and resources and drive for the better? No. It would be useless. The Shadow doesn't deal with that kind of "hope", and The Penguin would not be interested in doing so either.

There have been occasions where The Shadow was caught in a bad enough situation that he had to momentarily pause the pursuit of a criminal, but The Shadow does not compromise, nor does he ever really need to, and he knows a true villain when he sees it. He is not keeping Oswald around as a informant, because he doesn't play by Gotham City rules where that seems like a reasonable thing to do. The true villain of most Shadow stories is always the person who stands to profit the most from said calamity, and most of the time they operate beneath suspicion. There is 0% chance of him underestimating Oswald the way Oswald prefers to be underestimated.

There are two ways Oswald Cobblepot would walk away from meeting a quick death at the hands of The Shadow. The first would be if he never killed anyone, or did anything that led to anyone's death ever again. He'd have to commit to undoing the ruin he brought onto people's lives and give back as much to the city and his victims as he possibly could. Such was what The Shadow did in Battle of Greed to Rupert Sandersham, a millionaire who got a kick out of ruining others financially. He is not the villain, nor is he a murderer, but The Shadow manipulated and terrorized him into making amends and repaying all the people he destroyed. These would be the best, most impossibly nice terms The Shadow could offer Oswald, along with him serving time and spend his whole life looking over his shoulder when, and if, he gets out.

"Look at yourself, Sandersham! You are wearing stripes! In front of you are bars! Beyond you, the outside world. Regard it as an omen, and make your choice. Amend the past; rectify the wrongs that you have done—or face the future consequences that your present methods will bring you!"

Rupert Sandersham was staring downward. His startled eyes saw the stripes that The Shadow had mentioned: those alternate ribbons of dark and light, that came from the setting sun. They had turned his gray suit into a convict's garb! Could it be that he, Rupert Sandersham, might find himself within a prison cell?- Battle of Greed

And that is not happening. There is not a single version of The Penguin who would accept these terms or accept this as a thing he's going to do. Short of the most kid-friendly media and even then, much as I argue that he should have rules of conduct, I don't think there is a single version of the Penguin who'd balk at murder or who hasn't committed it with little to no remorse. Oswald Cobblepot may carry much bitterness and heartbreak, but The Penguin loves what he is too much to accept being anything else. He isn't scared of any of these terms and would find them deeply absurd, because who is this, trying to tell The Penguin he isn't allowed to rob this thing, or kill that guy getting on his nerves, or ruin that rich asshole over there. The audacity of this laughing clown! As if he didn't have one too many to deal with!

The other way he lives, at least for a while, is if he turns out to be right about the way Gotham City works, and it turns out that he really cannot be removed from his position without far worse things growing as a result. I don't think The Shadow would have issues with the Batman villains individually, but neither do Batman or most superheroes. It's Gotham City that's the real problem here, and it's a problem that Batman hasn't solved in nearly a hundred years, and neither has Superman or any of the billion superheroes in that universe, a problem that will never be solved so long as there's a profit to be made on Batman. The Shadow can and has cleaned cities of organized crime before, usually by manipulating it's players into destroying each other, but even he has limits and Gotham City is no mere gangster-ridden town, much like how the man who claimed it is no mere crimelord either.

So the final matter at play here is whether The Penguin is right, and if so, whether The Shadow can afford to kill The Penguin, when there are other more pressing matters. Because the biggest reason Penguin's able to position himself where he is, as a necessary evil in-universe and a reocurring side character/even protagonist out of it, is by never being the nastiest or most urgently threatening villain in the room, and therefore always being the one that the heroes have to compromise with or have to defeat quickly to get moving. He has weaponized a Kingpin-esque idea that he is a necessary deterrent, because Gotham can always get worse, and everyone else who can take power in Gotham from him is much worse than him, and therefore you save the most innocent lives by allowing him to do his thing under a leash. Refer that line above, about how The Shadow will not suffer the innocent for the guilty.

There has been at least one Shadow story where he's dealt with this dillemma, in Face of Doom, as I elaborate here. The Shadow defeated the Face through taking the long way around, disarming his individual lieutenants, luring them into traps and disguising himself as The Face and all kinds of strategies necessary to checkmate the guy, but in the process also giving The Face enough time to regroup and strategize and target his agent(s). A similar thing happened when he had to take down Benedict Stark, and had to considerably slow down the operations to rescue Rutledge Mann from kidnapping. Issuing any kind of harm or death to The Shadow's agents guarantees him unleashing carnage on you personally, refer to Gangdom's Doom where he obliterates organized crime in Chicago in response to the death of Claude Fellows, but The Penguin can play smart. He can refrain from doing that, and buy himself more time, as The Shadow goes after those that think they have what it takes.

I think The Shadow vs The Penguin would probably pull elements from all of these stories I'd mentioned. If The Penguin is right, The Shadow would have to defeat, or at minimum stall, crime in Gotham City in a way that could then remove The Penguin from the picture, which means The Shadow would have to go through the rest of Batman's Rogues Gallery. Difference being, he's not going to fight those guys forever, he might not even fight them at all.

For The Shadow, he's up against a particularly smart, resourceful and powerful "gentleman of crime". One with personal tragedies and codes of conduct, one who might have even been like the ones he'd been able to reform if life hadn't twisted him, but who at present poses an active danger to the lives of people of the city, and stopping that is the bigger concern. He's taking down not just one crime king, but an empire that the crime king holds at bay, and god knows how many crime kings in the way, and possibly others who would see the innocent suffer for the guilty and keep this stalemate forever. The Shadow doesn't do stalemates, and Oswald Cobblepot is going to repent for all he's done or die, and nothing in between.

For The Penguin? He might very well be in heaven. He's dealing with death itself arriving from nowhere to give him the greatest challenge of all: surviving. Which just so happens to be the thing he does best and takes the most pride in doing. It might even be the kind of thing that makes him feel alive again. Facing down someone every bit the implacable wall of terror the Bat is, but who is less about the martial arts brute showdowns and more about god knows how many other subtler espionage chessplay and psychological mind tricks, and zero hesitation in putting a bullet in his head.

And possibly taking it's sweet time wiping out all of the competition, going through the long list of wiping out all of Oswald's hated rivals and competitors for him, and possibly a few unfortunate friends. Years, decades of playing the long game, gathering his assets, putting pieces in place, keeping his head low, letting the Bats and the others walk over him and forget he's there, and he's rewarded with the game of a lifetime! To be the arch-criminal who took on The Shadow and won! You'd almost think he'd have planned for The Shadow to come after him, and getting very angry if Batman shows up to get on the case to stop this because huur I'm a big selfish brute who wants to hog all the fun, duuuh Oswald you can do better, we don't kill around these parts Shadow huurgh, god, Batman, *waugh* can you BE any more of a self-important killjoy?

Sure, if no divine intervention comes, he's absolutely going to die, he is not walking out of this confrontation alive even if The Shadow has to go through Gotham ten times to get to him. But, you know, the real problem with Icarus was that idiot drowned when he fell, because he forgot to pack a bathing suit.

And you know what penguins do best, right?

*WAUGH WAUGH WAUGH*

#replies tag #the shadow #superheroes #dc comics #batman #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #shadow magazine #pulp heroes

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