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pikahlua · 2 months

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MHA Chapter 417 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

tagline 固く閉ざされた死柄木に迫るデク…‼︎ かたくとざされたしがらきにせまるデク…‼︎ kataku tozasareta Shigaraki ni semaru DEKU...!! Deku approaches Shigaraki who remains firmly closed off...!!

1 何がどうなってんだ⁉︎ なにがどうなってんだ⁉︎ nani ga dou nattenda!? "What's going on!?"

2 もう　よくわからん mou yoku wakaran "Yeesh, I don't really understand."

3 緑谷出久が指の塊をかきわけて中に入ってったんだみどりやいずくがゆびのかたまりをかきわけてなかにはいってったんだ Midoriya Izuku ga yubi no katamari wo kakiwakete naka ni haittettanda "Izuku Midoriya pushed his way through the mass of fingers and was going inside."

1 与一…⁉︎ よいち…⁉︎ Yoichi...!? "Yoichi...!?"

2 ブルース…！ BURUUSU...! "Bruce...!"

3 …万縄… …ばんじょう… ...Banjou... "...Banjou..."

4 俊典… としのり… Toshinori... "Toshinori..."

5 私だけ…弾き返された…⁉︎なんでーーー… わたしだけ…はじきかえされた…⁉︎なんでーーー… watashi dake...hajiki kaesareta...!? nande---... I was the only one...who was bounced back...!? Why---...

1 安心しろよおばあちゃんあんしんしろよおばあちゃん anshin shiro yo obaachan Don't worry, Grandma.

2 あんたもしっかり憎んでるあんたもしっかりにくんでる anta mo shikkari nikunderu I fully hate you, too.

3 憎まれてるからじゃないにくまれてるからじゃない nikumareteru kara ja nai It's not because I'm hated. (Note: This is Nana, and it connects with her lines at #6-7.)

4 行かないでええいかないでええ ikanaideee Don't gooo!

5 お母さああんおかあさああん okaasaaan Moooom!

6 これは kore wa This is

7 私の弱さだわたしのよわさだ watashi no yowasa da my weakness.

tagline No.417　志村　堀越耕平ナンバー417　しむら　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 417 Shimura Horikoshi Kouhei No. 417 Shimura Kouhei Horikoshi

1 知ってどうするしってどうする shitte dou suru When you know, what will you do?

2 過去を暴いてかこをあばいて kako wo abaite When you uncover the past,

3 何が変わるなにがかわる nani ga kawaru what will change?

4 死柄木から見た僕の姿… しがらきからみたぼくのすがた… Shigaraki kara mita boku no sugata... My appearance as seen by Shigaraki...

5 を使って喋ってるのかをつかってしゃべってるのか wo tsukatte shabetteru no ka which he's using to speak, huh?

6 わからない！でも知らないまま終わるのは嫌だ！わからない！でもしらないままおわるのはいやだ！ wakaranai! demo shiranai mama owaru no wa iya da! "I don't know! But I don't want this to end without knowing!"

7 死ねしね shine "Die."

8 おじゃまします ojama shimasu "[Pardon] the intrusion*." (*Note: This is a common greeting in Japan spoken when entering someone's home or office or otherwise when possibly interrupting someone.)

1 わっ wa "Wah!"

2 っぶねーな‼︎ガキどもォ親ァどこだバっぶねーな‼︎ガキどもォおやァどこだバ bbunee na!! GAKI-domoO oyaA doko da BA "That's dangerous! You brats, where are you parents?"

3 物理的に⁉︎干渉してるぶつりてきに⁉︎かんしょうしてる butsuriteki ni!? kanshou shiteru Physically [touched]!? I'm interfering.

4 死柄木の深層意識に入ったんだしがらきのしんそういしきにはいったんだ Shigaraki no shinsou ishiki ni haittanda "We entered Shigaraki's deep consciousness."

5 君も継承者として精神が形取られてるから干渉し合うきみもけいしょうしゃとしてせいしんがかたちどられてるからかんしょうしあう kimi mo keishousha to shite seishin ga katachidorareteru kara kanshou shi au "As a successor, your spirit also has taken shape, so we will interfere together."

6 7代目…‼︎ 7だいめ…‼︎ 7daime...!! "Seventh...!!"

7 私だけまた弾かれてしまった… わたしだけまたはじかれてしまった… watashi dake mata hajikarete shimatta... "I was the only one who got repelled again..."

8 すまない…！ sumanai...! "Sorry...!"

1 ーーでも側にまだいてくれて僕嬉しいですーーでもそばにまだいてくれてぼくうれしいです --demo soba ni mada ite kurete boku ureshii desu "--But I'm glad you're still by my side."

2 ここはいわば死柄木の核…… ここはいわばしがらきのかく…… koko wa iwaba Shigaraki no kaku...... "This place is Shigaraki's core, so to speak......"

3 原点オリジン ORIJIN (kanji: genten) "His origin."

4 最も繊細で柔らかいところだもっともせんさいでやわらかいところだ motto mo sensai de yawarakai tokoro da "It is the most delicate, soft place."

5 ここでの死柄木は恐らくここでのしがらきはおそらく koko de no Shigaraki wa osoraku The Shigaraki here is probably

6 脆いもろい moroi fragile.

7 触れて奴の原点を打つんだふれてやつのげんてんをうつんだ furete yatsu no genten wo utsunda Touch him to hit his origin.

8 ……原点… ……げんてん… ......genten... ......Origin...

1 だから死ぬだからこうなる dakara kou naru (kanji: shinu) "That's why something like this will happen (read as: you will die)."

2 ステイン‼︎ SUTEIN!! "Stain!!"

3 何を背負い何をつくる⁉︎ なにをせおいなにをつくる⁉︎ nani wo seoi nani wo tsukuru!? "What burden will you carry, and what will you make!?"

4 計画はあるのか？けいかくはあるのか？ keikaku wa aru no ka? "Do you have a plan?"

5 ない！どけ‼︎ nai! doke!! "I don't! Move!!"

1 ��ーーーひみつだよ ----himitsu da yo "----It's a secret!"

2 この人おばあちゃんなんだってこのひとおばあちゃんなんだって kono hito obaachan nanda tte "This person, [I heard] she's our grandma."

3 写真… しゃしん… shashin... The photo...

4 弧太朗…！こたろう…！ Kotarou...! Kotarou...!

1 お父さんに内緒で姉妹ヒーローになっちゃおう！おとうさんにないしょできょうだいヒーローになっちゃおう！ otousan ni naisho de kyoudai HIIROO ni nacchaou! "Let's keep it secret from Dad and become sibling heroes!"

1 あの黒いのは死柄木⁉︎ あのくろいのはしがらき⁉︎ ano kuroi no wa Shigaraki!? That black one is Shigaraki!?

2 "拒絶"‼︎ "きょぜつ"‼︎ "kyozetsu"!! [His] rejection!!

3 弾かれる…‼︎ はじかれる…‼︎ hajikareru...!! I'm being repelled...!!

4 あと一歩なのに…！あといっぽなのに…！ ato ippo nanoni...! It's just one more step...!

5 あれはおばあちゃんじゃない are wa obaachan ja nai "That is not your Grandma."

6 子どもを捨てた鬼畜だこどもをすてたきちくだ kodomo wo suteta kichiku da "That is a demon who abandoned her child."

7 ーーー…そうか ---...sou ka ---...I see.

8 持ちたくて持ってたんじゃないもちたくてもってたんじゃない mochitakute mottetanja nai It's not that you had it because you wanted to have it. (Note: I think she is talking about the photograph.)

1 いいかヒーローというのはな… ii ka HIIROO to iu no wa na... "You see, heroes are those who..."

2 捨てられなかったんだ…… すてられなかったんだ…… suterarenakattanda...... It's that you couldn't throw it away......

3 他人をたすける為にたにんをたすけるために tanin wo tasukeru tame ni "in order to help/save* others," (*Note: There is no kanji for tasukeru, so the meaning is likely meant to be purposefully ambiguous.)

4 ずっとー… zutto-... For so long-...

5 家族を傷つけるんだかぞくをきずつけるんだ kazoku wo kizutsukerunda "hurt their families."

6 ずっと捨てられなかったんだずっとすてられなかったんだ zutto suterarenakattanda It's that for so long you couldn't throw it away.

7 私がつけた傷がわたしがつけたきずが watashi ga tsuketa kizu ga The wounds I caused

8 死柄木にまで広がったんだしがらきにまでひろがったんだ Shigaraki ni made hirogattanda spread to Shigaraki.

9 ーーAFOに勝ってーーオール・フォー・ワンにかって --OORU FOO WAN ni katte --If only I had won against All For One

10 お迎えに行けてたらーー… おむかえにいけてたらーー… omukae ni iketetara--... and gone to get you--...

1 ごめんね弧太朗ごめんねこたろう gomen ne Kotarou I'm sorry, Kotarou,

2 志村さん!!! しむらさん!!! Shimura-san!!! "Shimura-san!!!"

3 お母さん弱くっておかあさんよわくって okaasan yowaku tte for [your] mom being so weak.

1 ごめんね gomen ne "I'm sorry"

2 お迎えに行けなくておむかえにいけなくて omukae ni ikenakute "that I couldn't go get you,"

3 ごめんね gomen ne I'm sorry.

4 おばあちゃんのせいでーーー… obaachan no sei de---... This is Grandma's fault---...

1 やだ… ya da... "Can't stand it..."

2 僕もうやだよぼくもうやだよ boku mou ya da yo "I can't stand it anymore,"

3 モンちゃん MON-chan "Mon-chan!"

tagline 原点。崩壊のはじまりげんてん。ほうかいのはじまり genten. houkai no hajimari [Its] origin. The beginning of Decay.

#my hero academia leak translations #mha 417 #bnha 417 #my hero academia manga spoilers #final arc spoilers #i love the trippy shit I LOVE IT #but also can we like #not do the dog thing again #*please*

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daftmooncretin · 4 months

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spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

#spock baby im sorry but it looks like the backdrop of one of those alpha male podcasts #nurse chapel is stronger then me because if i saw this frat boy ass decor i would have immediately gotten the ick and left #the lack of coherent design is so funny #ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW TO CURTAIN IS COVERING THE SHELVES WHICH IS SUCH A SMALL THING BUT IT MAKES ME SO MAD WHY SPOCK WHY #i hope bones never saw this room because he would have a fucking field day #star trek #star trek tos #spirk #jim kirk #spock #tos

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endusviolence · 2 months

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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

#transgender #trans history #transsexual #transphobia #Magnus Hirschfeld #holocaust #holocaust denial #book burning #j.k. rowling #jk rowling #just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed #and we will always exist #if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit #queer history #queer #lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt #lgbt history #edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month #also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it #it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs #and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had #also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2 #Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices #considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived

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liones-s · 1 month

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one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

#this is my experience so I know it won’t work for everyone #like all things there is no universal formula #we all have different capacities and capabilities #but I like sharing things that work for me in case they can also help someone else #studyblr #study motivation #study tips #university #academia #uni tips

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 5 months

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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

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bananonbinary · 5 months

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also worth noting that "abusive" doesn't actually mean "irredeemable" either.

there's a lot of people that have done things in the past that were bad, because they weren't taught any better, or they were in an overall toxic situation where EVERYONE was shitty (like a cult), or they were just at an especially low point and hurt others for it.

you don't have to forgive them. you don't have to ever speak to them again. you can be angry with them until you die if you want.

but society cannot function if we don't allow them to move on. to change their behavior and fuck off somewhere else and build meaningful relationships without bothering you again. we need a path for people to change, or nothing ever will.

#like re: the last post #npd SHOULDNT mean 'youre an abusive person'#but also people who have abused people in the past can still become better people in the present #you know?#and as i metioned vaguely in that post. the way we currently treat people with NPD probably CAUSES THEM to lash out at and abuse others #if u abuse someone they lash back out at you and suddenly theres fun mutual abuse happening #so they need a way out of that cycle

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amalgamezz · 4 months

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ALT

#aromantic #actually aromantic #aro #aro pride #love loses #good job everyone. im so proud of us <2 #edit (12/31): also pls do not quote 'not all loves are romantic/sexual' at me #1. aros have always been the first to dissect the definition of love. we are likely to know that before you.#2. are we gonna keep pretending that aros aint only an afterthought to the 'love wins' and 'love is love' crowds.#3. im loveless aro. i do not care for love whether its romantic platonic or familial etc etc.#one can do good w love. one can also do evil w love. love =/= morals. stop acting like it is.

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utilitycaster · 5 months

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"why should I get invested in shows if they'll just get canceled" I was deeply invested in Heroes (2006) and it was not canceled, it just got really terrible. I also got really invested in the sandwich I had a few weeks ago despite it only lasting like 15 minutes. You must embrace the ephemeral. You must be willing to love things that may not love you back, that might betray you, or that may die an untimely death. As the great philosopher Mr. Mitchell Lee Hedberg said "I'm not gonna stop doing something because of what happens at the end."

#now granted he did die of a drug overdose but you know. one can take the good lessons #anyway. point being i understand being deeply frustrated with the state of the tv and film.#but also we can admit that for every gem canceled there's like three real duds too #idk if you want something that's guaranteed to have a bunch of seasons and you know the ending for go watch shows from the 70s #the number of adults on this site who lack the emotional wherewithal to watch an ongoing narrative is. yikes.#queue

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lazylittledragon · 1 month

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if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

#i'd have like. five. which isn't a lot but IT KEEPS HAPPENING #stranger things #platonic stobin #steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #here we go again boys #i've had this floating in my head for a Minute and i was like #nah i'm not gonna do it #maybe i'll anonymously write a fic #but no we're mombin posting on main #i think on twt we agreed it's a 'what's the worst that could happen' situation #platonic co parents can be so so so personal #also i have One more stobin wip and then bg3 again i swear #when i have a baby i Will be putting my giant black wings on beforehand #they have to know what kind of family they're coming into #cw pregnancy

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ruporas · 3 days

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your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)

#farcille #falin touden #marcille donato #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #coming face to face with the consequences of acting out of love - marcille u will always be famous #dunmeshi is really a series that keeps on moving bc it's about so many different characters and centered on the journey #rather than like... introspectively on one singular individual so i dont think we see marcille dwell on it but we can see her fatigue #her shock and surprise in the recent ep “don't hurt her she's just confused” Gah. desperately trying to grasp everything thats going on and #not to lose hope. bc undoubtedly the remains she put together was falin's - that short moment of reprieve the party had was with falin #she was able to bring her back her magic did it!! but the violence the fatal swings was not falin at all.#just pondering about holding that guilt... it's such a huge responsibility to be in charge of life in the first place and yet it is #a burden she'll keep trudging with. defying the natural orders to keep the people she love alive... i Lauv her...#also shared sentiment with the rest of the fandom but God. Chimera Falin... she is Everything....#ruporas art

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inkskinned · 5 months

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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

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