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#but I've been feeling much less motivated to build
eggshellsareneat · 9 months
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Alright lads, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Geometry Dash 2.2 might be releasing tomorrow.
For my non-geometry dash followers, this godforsaken game is coming up on its 10th anniversary, and has surpassed Six Entire Years since the previous update. The official Youtube channel has released a premier dated for tomorrow at 22:00, has 22 icons on the thumbnail, and a trailer that's 22 seconds long.
Level creator "ilrell" has a video on the "Best Level of Every Month". It shows just how increasingly insane creators have gotten in order to make standout levels. For instance, the best level from early 2.1 is something like Glyph--
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Which, I mean yeah, it looks pretty good. It's got some great colours and flashy movements. As a matter of fact, the creator of that level (Optical) would go on to build a career in graphic design.
I mean, hey, let's flash forward to today. Surely levels aren't that different, right? After all, what's releasing right about now?
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...oh
If you don't want to click on that video, you're missing out. Cytokinesis is an alien/lab-themed opus themed around controlling two players simultaneously (check the second half of the video!) It's not even the most ambitious level coming out.
I cannot stress enough how completely this game has changed due to the community constantly striving to one-up itself. Want some more? Here's a level made in fourty-eight hours, here's an ori-themed level with a frog at the end, here's a god-damned level layout.
So I'm a bit uncomfortable with 2.2 coming out. As is everyone, I think. Sure, it adds much needed optimizations to the game, and we're all hyped about the brand new "free fly" and "spider orb". But outside of that, it adds enough features to transform the game entirely.
It's a bit unsettling. I've been playing ever since the 2.0 update, and I feel like we all contributed to make the game into what it was. The game wasn't updated in the past six years, but as a community we turned it into our own.
And by that regard, the game being updated feels oddly paternalistic. It feels almost like the developer is coercing a certain style of level and gameplay. It feels like we're being robbed of what made this game so unique.
But on the other hand, this update adds so many new tools to be creative. I've been waiting for the newfangled "spider orb" for YEARS, and we're getting optimizations and increased limits on pretty much everything.
It's an interesting place to be in. I guess we'll find out tomorrow.
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hyperfixatedbastard · 2 months
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do you write hypnosis stuff?? it's not specifically against the rules but idk it's kind of an iffy era for a lot of writers-
if it's okay with you, could you write some Vox x Singer!Reader who he uses his mind control on to sell their soul to him so they remain under the VoxTek label? (im sure remaining with him is an ulterior motive of his as well lol)
thanks :]
I can absolutely do that! I’m a little iffy about NSFW hypnosis, but I can do a SFW oneshot :)
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siren songs
Obsessed!Vox x Singer!GN!Reader
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Word Count: 1.4k
WARNINGS: Yandere-ish behavior, hypnosis, manipulation, toxic behavior, all that good stuff
A/N: I told y'all I'd be back with some toxic Vox!! I wasn't entirely sure how to end this one, but I've spent enough time rewriting it to stop caring. This one is only romantic in theory - nothing actually romantic happens between Vox and Reader, it's more mutual pining than anything else This is also my first time writing obsessive behavior, so I hope I did it well!
Dividers
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You’ve been working with the Vees for years now. You were originally recruited by Velvette, who’s like a bloodhound for new talent. She saw some popular videos of your singing online, and she made you famous.
But you don’t work with her that much, oddly enough. Over time, you gradually started to see her less and less. Vox was the one to take her place. By the time you noticed, there wasn’t much you could do about it—you’re certainly not an equal to the Vees, so there wasn’t much you could do. Sure, you could’ve quit then and there, as you’d never signed a soul-binding contract, but you really liked your job. You were getting to do what you loved for a living! Who wouldn’t want that?
Well, you. You don’t want that anymore. You’re getting burnt out. You feel like you’re out of creativity for writing songs, and singing no longer has the same appeal it used to. It feels like a chore. Getting on stage doesn’t get you excited—it just fills you with dread.
Then you saw the videos of the annual clown pageant down in the Greed Ring. How Fizzarolli, Mammon’s favorite little jester, just…quit. Just like that. 
Can you do that?
You don’t have backup like Fizzarolli did. There’s no Prince of Hell to protect you if the Vees lash out in response to your resignation. But the Vees aren’t Mammon. They’re powerful Overlords, sure, but they wouldn’t kill off an easy cash grab like you. And they don’t have any leverage to use against you—you’re a fucking superstar, you learned to stop keeping secrets a long time ago.
Yeah, you can totally do this!
You spend the next week making a plan. You currently live in V Tower, so finding another living arrangement is a priority. Luckily, your standards are just as low as before you got famous, so snatching up an apartment doesn’t take long. You’ve been building up savings for some time now, just little bits here and there that wouldn’t look suspicious among your bank withdrawls, so you have enough money to last you a while. You’ve made a go-bag, but you’re not too worried about bringing anything with you, as you have enough cash to just buy new shit. By the time the end of the week comes around, you’ve got your escape plan ready to go. All that’s left is to actually quit.
You decide that directly speaking to Vox is your best option. Velvette and you don’t have the same rapport that you used to, and Valentino is just… no. During your time working with Vox, you like to think there’s some sort of friendship there. The two of you chat amicably, and he always makes sure you’re okay when it comes to creepy fans and the like. You feel like there could be something more than just friendship, but you don’t plan on staying long enough to find out. As much as you like Vox, you’re not willing to spend the rest of your afterlife hating every second of your job just for him.
You stand outside Vox’s lair, mentally preparing yourself for this conversation. You take a deep breath, and right before you can knock on the door, it opens.
Okay, here goes.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
You aren’t as sneaky as you seem to think you are.
A normal boss wouldn’t have noticed the small transactions in your bank account, or the little trips you’ve been taking to go look at apartments. But Vox isn’t a ‘normal boss’ by any means. And he noticed.
From the moment Vox set eyes on you, he knew he wanted you. You’re beautiful, and fuck, your voice—he just can’t get you out of his damn head, no matter how hard he tries. And he really fucking tried. But he couldn’t avoid you, thanks to VoxTek being such an integral part of your performances. And you’re like a damn siren with that voice of yours, even though he’s supposed to be the hypnotizing one here. Eventually, he just gave in and accepted that he was more than a little obsessed with you. That’s why he started drawing you closer to him, pushing away Velvette and taking control of your brand. He doesn’t like sharing.
Obsession isn’t a particularly new feeling for Vox. He certainly has… tendencies. But this isn’t like whatever the fuck he’s got going on with that deer-headed, old-timey bastard Alastor. It’s not a lust thing, either. You’re certainly attractive, and Vox most definitely would sleep with you, but that’s not the main factor at play here. This is a deeper obsession than any of that bullshit.
Vox knows that he doesn’t own your soul. He’s well aware that he can’t truly stop you from quitting. Even if he managed to trap you inside V Tower, he can’t force you to keep up the performances. If he had you under a proper soul-binding contract, though…
He would own you.
Now, he’s not Valentino. He doesn’t plan to take that kind of advantage over you. He doesn’t want to change a damn thing. He just wants you to stay.
And he will make you stay.
He knows when you approach his office, and he opens the doors with the touch of a button on his desk. He plasters that casually perfect smile on his screen and turns to face you as you enter. The doors shut behind you.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you today, my dear,” he lies easily, the charismatic mask fitting into place like it was never absent in the first place. “How can I help you?”
You hesitate, your anxiety starting to get to you. But you’re determined to do this. You clear your throat and step forward. “I’m resigning.”
Vox’s smile doesn’t falter, nor does his screen glitch. His demeanor is…unnerving, to say the least. You’ve known him to be temperamental, emotional. You expected some kind of reaction. But he’s just smirking at you like he always does.
“I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to change your mind,” he replies smoothly, tilting his head to the side just slightly.
“No,” you confirm, trying to sound confident in your answer. You’re not sure if you succeed. “I’ve already made my decision.”
Vox sighs, though he doesn’t sound very defeated. His smirk hasn’t gone away, either. “Well, then. It’s been a pleasure working with you, darling.”
He holds his hand out for you to shake. The gesture immediately worries you, as it’s the well-known sign of a deal. But you reassure yourself that there’s no deal being made here. Hell may be chaotic, but there’s rules when it comes to these kinds of things. Neither of you have offered anything, therefore there’s no harm in shaking his hand. It’s just a respectful gesture of a boss wishing their employee farewell. It all feels too easy, but you’re too relieved to think too hard about it.
You go to take his hand, but as you lift your head up to meet his gaze, everything goes fuzzy.
Vox grabs you by your wrist before you can shake his hand. He’s not rough with you. He’s careful of his claws, ensuring they don’t put too much pressure on your skin. Not that you’d notice, either way—your mind is far gone at this point, thanks to those spirals in his eye.
“In exchange for your soul, you’ll remain under the VoxTek label and continue working for me. Your work will remain the same as before. You’ll forget about leaving. You will want to stay here. You will want to stay here with me.”
A golden scroll appears out of thin air, and it floats in front of you as it unfurls. “Sign it.”
Your body moves on its own. You sign your name on the line at the bottom of the page.
Vox releases your wrist, and takes your hand in his own as his eye reverts back to its normal state. When you come to just moments later, he’s shaking your hand with calm professionality.
“I’m glad we got that sorted out,” Vox remarks smoothly, his smirk looking almost proud now. “I look forward to your next performance, my dear.”
You blink a few times as you become more lucid and aware. “Uh, yeah. Can’t wait!”
You smile, and Vox releases your hand, seemingly satisfied with your answer. You don’t remember what exactly you came in here for, but you’re happy with the outcome.  “Perfect.”
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fizzfags · 2 months
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EMIZEL/FIZZFANGS ANALYSIS
the long awaited. under the cut bc its really long and im fucking insane. (this does not necessarily focus on them as a romantic pairing, just the way they interact with each other. interpret it in whichever way is most compelling to you/what you see fit.)
EMIZEL:
the most notable thing about emizel is the fact that he is mainly motivated by status and climbing the social hierarchy in whatever situation he is currently in. in his human life, that was climbing the ranks within the demons. after he dies, he doesnt really understand the social hierarchy within vampire society, but he does understand that its very important to at least be in good standing.
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(episode 2)
he has an inherent disrespect towards authority, also seen with his father, (which i will get to later) as seen with this interaction with arthur. he's insistent on meeting the important figures within vampire society in la, and prioritizes this over, say, learning how being a vampire actually works. in the same episode, he also tells arthur "It just seems like we have similar goals, you know? I clearly don't know what I'm doing in vampire society. You do. So I need to learn. And you did say you'd take responsibility for teaching me." keep in mind that this is only a week or so after he was turned. things become interesting when we see him interacting with said important figures.
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(episode 4)
in a stark contrast to arthur, hes relatively polite and respectful. obviously, this is to build favor for himself within the community of important and respected figures. also notable, he is lying out of his fucking ass. this is probably my biggest piece of evidence against the people that genuinely believe that emizel is unintelligent, because he clearly knows what hes doing.
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as stated in the tweet, he gets killed/injured makes stupid decisions so often because he's used to operating under the rules of the demons and normal human society, and he hasnt learned that consequences and rules are enforced much harsher in regards to vampires. his rash and impulsive personality/decision making skills/opposition to authority figures that he doesnt like just isnt compatible with vampire society, and this leads to him getting hurt (see any and all of his interactions with edward)
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(episode 4)
so, we know he lies to get what he wants (status, respect, etc) and doesn't feel bad about it. now is time to address his upbringing. obviously, it was not great. he has a very negative relationship with his father, and it wouldn't be too big of a stretch to describe it as potentially abusive. "Listen, I've lived with this guy my whole life. He's always kind of been a piece of shit to me, so do what you want - I couldn't care any less. But, if you're making me choose between my wellbeing and his, then I'm always going to choose me. Besides, I can't do any of that mind shit anyways." (episode 2) we can most likely assume he joined the demons relatively young, as a way to escape or have a place to stay other than his dads house. this is also probably the source of his opposition to authority, especially those that act negatively towards him.
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(episode 6)
episode 6 is very interesting. emizel risks his life to go back to the unseen one to ask a very specific question: "why did i get abandoned with my father, and why did shilo get to stay?" also noting that his most precious memory is one he had with the demons. when shilo asks about this question, he gets very defensive, because he knows that shilo would have an answer for him, but its not the answer he wants. if he tells them, they wont let him go back to the unseen one. of course, his question is left unanswered, and he asks it again in episode 10.
another very interesting thing happens in episode 10: he willingly gets rid of all memories of his father. he had a lot of other things he could have given up, but he specifically chose his father. with the definite negative impact his dad must have had on him, and how highly emizel prioritizes strength, it wouldnt be a stretch to say that he viewed the trauma of living with his father as a weakness, something to get rid of instead of grow and heal from. it would take time, a resource he isn't willing to share.
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so, why is emizel so motivated towards power and status? with all this, the answer is pretty obvious: he wants to be able to build the life he was never able to have. power and status means money means opportunities means choices means a better life. he wants an escape from la, from his father, from everything he's had to deal with growing up. hes constantly reminding himself that its not fair, its not fair that shilo got to live that way, its not fair he was abandoned and stuck here. so he wants to make it fair for himself and the rest of his posse. those he considers his family. his jealousy motivates him.
so of course a wrench is thrown in everything when he loses that emotional connection to most of his friends (except theo. which i will get to) and finds himself just not caring anymore. the thing hes built his life around, spent years climbing the ranks - all for nothing. but what else can he do but continue on. find another distraction, find another goal.
THEO:
we don't know much about theos past other than he (supposedly) lives in the suburbs and has rich parents. (referenced in episode 8) though this is debatably canon, i think its interesting if it is because it brings up a lot of questions. most notably, why did he join the demons? the most obvious answer is that it's the same as emizel: his parents suck. though of course none of this is canon, so moving onto the things that are.
the first major event that happens to him is emizel being turned. he sees emizel less, "No shit, really? You know Emizel? How is he keeping up? He's kinda, been disappearin' every night." (episode 2) and we can assume emizel is a big part of his life. (which i will get to later) and then, thanks to shilo, a core aspect of his personality is stripped away. his entire life is essentially turned on his head, and he can feel something missing. so, as seen in episode 5, he turns to alcohol. its no surprise why, he's lost the sense of normality, his routine, everything he was used to. so he may as well do this. a lot of theos more interesting aspects only really show when hes interacting with emizel, so time to get to the fun part.
FIZZFANGS AS A WHOLE:
a very interesting thing is that emizel and theo act very differently when talking/interacting with each other than any other character. dialogue-wise, they both talk a lot faster and "messier" around one another, interrupting themselves and eachother to finish each others thoughts.
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(episode 3)
just by their conversations, you can tell they're very close. this particular instance also has two other interesting things in it: theo asking what he can do to help emizel, and condi specifying that theo would be the only person emizel would tell about being a vampire. to address the first part, here is a complete list of all the times theo asks emizel what he should do/what he should do to help/etc (and this is an incomplete transcript, so ive probably missed a couple.)
"Alright, you lead the way man, let's do it." (ep 1)
"What's going on here? What do I do? What do you want me to do, man?" (ep 1)
"No man! I'm not leaving you, man! I can take him. I can still take him." (ep 1)
"I'm not leaving you, man!" (ep 1)
"Well, how can I help you with the non-soda related-?" (ep 3)
"Yeah! I mean... What should I do first?" (ep 3)
"So you just let me know whenever you need? I got you, bro." (ep 3)
"So, uh… Anything I can help with?" (ep 5)
"Don't worry, man. I got you. Where am I taking you?" (ep 5)
"So, um… how, c- how can I help you, man?" (ep 8)
this fucking crazy interaction:
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(episode 3)
so it goes without saying that theo would do anything for emizel. and he does, he stays in the alley even after he gets hurt, he stays even after he watches emizel die. and when emizel crawls over to him, dazed and hungry for blood, he doesnt run. he only runs after emizel tells him to. another really important thing about their relationship is the fact that they're both a constant in each others lives.
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(episode 8)
its kind of like they sort people into two boxes: "theo/emizel" and "everyone else." and the other will always be their highest priority. emizel drives to the other side of la just to see theo. after emizel dies in the club, his first instinct is to go find theo. theo is the only person that the unseen one appears as to him. in episode 8, the first step to his plan is finding theo.
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(episode 6)
even if he hadn't just lot a good amount of emotional connection to the rest of his friends, i think he would still be a lot more urgent to go save him. and again, his first thought is to check if theo is there. if theo's okay, if he's safe.
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(episode 5)
and theo does this too. he insists that emizel is his only friend, the only one he trusts. speaking of trust, that is the most crucial aspect to their relationship. they trust eachother a sickening amount, they regularly put their life in the others hands. when emizel drinks theos blood, its not "is he going to hurt me?" its "how can i make this the safest?" because theo trusts emizel not to hurt him, even after knowing he's killed ~12 people.
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(episode 3)
and here, emizel trusts that theo loves him enough to be okay with this. note that arthur doesn't even bring up love, emizel is the first to. arthur only brings it up after emizel says that. because emizel knows that theo loves him and trusts him, emizel knows that theo would do anything for him.
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(episode 9)
and emizel, notorious for not letting anyone close enough to hurt him, tells theo that if he wants to, not needs, wants, he can kill him. that theo can kill him, if he wants. because emizel doesn't fully trust himself alone, but he trusts himself when he's with theo.
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and theo trusts emizel too. despite seeing what vampires can do in a frenzy, he trusts that emizel wouldn't hurt him, just as emizel trusts that theo would stop him before anything could ever happen. and emizel is a notorious liar, so we can assume that he doesn't/wouldn't lie to theo, which would explain why theo trusts him so much.
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basically, they'll always be there for eachother and theo would do anything for emizel and emizel will always come back to theo in the end and they love eachother and despite everything they are together. theyre completely inseperable.
tl;dr: emizels main MOTIVATION is status, while the most IMPORTANT thing to him is theo
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disregardcanon · 11 days
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this probably seems like a weird question from your end,but why do fanfic writers care so much about comments? aos already tracks hits and likes, sorry ""kudos"", so why are comments such a big deal to the point that people will stop writing?
okay, so i'm going to take this question very seriously and i promise it's not to make you feel bad. this is a comprehensive explanation of reasons that comments are important for me, both as a writer and as a reader
engagement vs numbers game
seeing trends
buy-in
community building
engagement vs numbers game
let's look quickly at two different fics of mine. this is the kudos count for a fic called Of First Kisses and Burnt Lips
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it's old. it's been up on ao3 for almost 11 years now. 258 people liked it enough to leave a kudos, 12 people liked it enough for a bookmark, and it's been clicked on 3,859 times.
i have no clue what almost any of these people on ao3 THINK about it. beyond "huh. sure. i'll kudos that". compare this to its crosspost on ffn, where i got 5 reviews
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3/5 mention it being cute. 3/5 give appreciation to me for taking the time to write it. 2/5 praise the writing itself from the attention to detail with grammar to the craft. 1/5 is an "um..." which is hard to decipher but appreciate and 1/5 is a silly reaction, but it's a reaction! look, someone felt a felling reading my thing! that made me giggle!
looking at the stats here from a purely numbers perspective, my fic DID better on ao3. it got a lot more kudos than it ever got faves or reviews on ffn. but those ffn comments are still what i think about when i remember this fic.
sure, a shear number like hits or kudos can be comforting and motivating. i'm definitely not telling you to NOT leave kudos! but the fics that i've come back to, recently, are the ones where i don't have a lot of kudos but i do have a few people who are invested in the stories and leaving comments to tell me
2. seeing trends
lets look at a few of the comments on my fic The Maid of Honor Made Them Do It
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so just in these two comments, we see both commenters hone in on the same detail: my choice to include a special christian music playlist that this characters' friends made for her. a few other people in this thread mentioned that same detail, so i know this bit really worked well! it's great feedback that lets me know that a good chunk of readers agree with my characterization here.
these readers zoom in on specific details that they really liked! things that made them laugh, the absurdity of the concept, enjoying reading it, and that they could see it staged, which is a HUGE compliment for a work in a fandom for theater.
i've always had trouble with imaging where characters are in a space, how they're occupying it and moving, and how to use that for characterization purposes. however, i got more than one comment on this fic about how people could see it staged! that means that i'm improving in an area that i've always struggled with. that's huge. it makes me want to keep working on this thing! it makes me feel like what i'm doing here matters, because lots of people are picking up on similar things! they're invested enough to give me a comment! and it makes me want to keep writing for the hatchetfield fandom because some people are invested in my work here. that is BIG! seeing trends in the way that readers experience your story helps a lot with writer buy-in for a project and also for writers self-analysis.
as a commenter: this helps me JUST as much. when i really dig into what i enjoyed about a fic to tell the writer about it, that helps me analyze and articulate the strengths and things i might want to take away from the storytelling, and that makes my writing better too!
3. buy-in
this is a comment on a series that has less than 100 kudos across three fics, but has thoughtful, appreciative comments on each work. it's called Melting Pot
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the commenter deleted their ao3 account. they may be one of the people who commented on the next fic, which i posted recently. they might NOT have been! honestly, it doesn't matter that much to me. this person gave me a gentle and nudge about a fic that matters to me and mattered to them at the time, and they were part of the push i needed to get back to it.
from a commenter perspective, i know that hearing a kind word can help someone keep up their motivation to write, even when i can't write in depth comments the way that i like to!
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just recently i only had the time to comment "nice update" on a favorite fic of mine called Teeth That Turn. but they know that i come and i read and they know and talk to me by (user)name. because they know i care about this thing they care about! and it's way more fun to do something like this when i know i can chat with the author about theories and thoughts and ideas. and this isn't a "wow aren't i so cool other writers like me! tehehe" bragging thing, it's just evidence for the case of why comments matter?
if i didn't want this to be a two way buy-in, i'd ONLY read published fiction, you know? we're all playing in the sandbox on the playground and i like what they made. they like that i like what they made :) we're scheduling a play date to fight with sticks after school my mom said it's okay!
4. community building
now i know that i just mentioned above here why i like being a commenter and how it helps authors, as well as why i like HAVING commenters as an author. i'm still arguing those things as a lead up to this section, where i have two other points to make about community building here too.
1. you can comment on OTHER comments! if you go through and read to see what other people are saying, you can agree with them. you can add some commentary! sometimes you can make a joke! and i've only ever had fun responses from something like that. authors tend to love that their fics are getting such a response that people are talking to each other about it! like look!!!!!! my thing got you to talk to someone else about it holy shit?!??!
2. commenting on fics in your fandom builds you a good reputation and makes other authors you comment on more likely to read YOUR fic. i'm not going to post any screenshots on this one because it would be embarrassing for everyone involved, but there have been authors that i really admired who gave my stuff a try after i commented on theirs. and they've told me that's why they tried it! like obviously it's not just networking or whatever, but it's really nice to have someone give your stuff a try because you've been enthusiastic and thoughtful about theirs.
and you make friends this way! fandom friends! who want to talk about your blorbos! you get to go on little play dates in cyberspace with cool people who like what you like. you don't ever HAVE to be a writer, of course. if you don't want to throw your hat into the ring or make art or edits or gif sets or anything, that's cool. no one ever has to participate in fandom outside of their comfort zone! but if you want to, you know that you'll feel more welcomed if you have some people in your corner for it, and making friends in a space, screaming about how much you love the characters you love, and remembering that fic authors especially are just fans too will help you feel like you "deserve" to exist in the space. maybe you don't write, but you go here too. you've got a space in the fandom and your comments don't have to be, like, perfect literary essays for authors to appreciate them and get a motivation boost from them still existing and us being able to go back to them and go!!! look!!! i don't suck!!! this person liked what i did so i'm okay! :)
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villainofmyownstory · 11 days
Text
Day Zero
chapter 3: The one when you met
masterlist
taglist
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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x plus size fem!reader
summary: Meeting another person after 2 years of loneliness was not supposed to be like this.
tags: AFAB reader, plus size reader, dog german shepherd, alcohol, weapon
author's note: I don't know... I'm not satisfied with this chapter. I think I reread it and edited it too many times. From this chapter, what happens after days 730... will be in the present tense because, for example, in the next chapter we will return to day 64, of course it is described in the past tense, so it just seems logical to me. I'm not changing chapters 1 and 2, I hope you don't mind. I think I've been spending too much time on this story and I'm starting to think too much.
Thank you all for your positive feedback. You don't even know how much this means to me <3
The next chapter will be posted on May 11 or 12.
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Chapter 3: The one when you met
Day 730
Ghost
There are plenty of things in this damn city that he will never run out of. When Ghost was left almost alone, with Riley by his side of course. Already in the first days, the man noticed that there were things here that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Even when he's gone, many of these items will remain in his warehouses for years to come.
Ironically, what he needed the least, alcohol and clothes.
He was never a demanding person. He didn't expect much from life. He was a rather simple man. A roof over his head, a supply of food, a place to train and peace of mind. So when he realized that this city was only his, he was very happy and satisfied. Not that he hated people. It was just better when they were as far away from him as possible. Somewhere in the background, preferably far from his sight and hearing. For many years he felt irritated by the closeness of another person. Of course, there were a few people who managed to get under the lieutenant's shell and understand his moods, behavior and motivations. However, there were few of them. That's right, they were.
In the army, he worked with several people. For many years he had no one outside of work. No family. No other relatives or friends. So when the captain sent him to a well-deserved rest after another long and hard mission. Ghost couldn't find his place for the first few days. He was simply irritated by mundane, everyday things. Going to the bank, store, clinic or even the gym. Too many people. Everywhere. Constant conversations, gesticulations. Noise.
Too much.
So he was grateful for the development of technology. When he could finally sit in front of his computer in the comfort of his own home and get things done in the office or via an app on his phone. The less contact with other people, the better. That's what he thought.
Now that Riley is missing, the soldier wonders about the meaning of his life. If the world had in some way done him a favor by removing other people from his surroundings, why did he have to take away the one being that made him feel alive. That his life has any meaning.
He wasn't a monster. Of course not. It wasn't like he was hoping for some kind of annihilation of humanity, that he would be the sole survivor on earth and be able to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He just wanted some peace, on his terms.
However, he felt no sadness or regret as he patrolled the empty streets or checked another empty building.
He had lost too many loved ones in the past to grieve over nameless strangers now.
He shouldn't drink. He knows it perfectly well. Two years. 730 days of sobriety. He had promised himself that big day, he had promised Riley, that he would never feel that burning liquid in his throat again. So that he won't become such a madman when alcohol starts circulating in his system again.
So that he does not become his own father. He couldn't even think of this person as someone close to him. Disgusting creature. Reflective sadists. Sperm donor and that's it. Which should never have existed. He buried that monster a long time ago. Just like Ghost buried his own self.
Apart from losing Riley, this was the man's greatest fear in his life. That by drinking alcohol and getting closer to people, he would show them who he really was. That he was just like his twisted psychopathic father.
And he didn't want to be like that, he couldn't. He preferred to hide behind the façade of a domineering, boorish lieutenant in a mask. Pushing others away from himself. The further, the better. He didn't want to hurt anyone.
He preferred to be alone.
He wore a mask almost all the time. He hid his face from the world. He never showed his true self. He hid his identity and the man he was behind a piece of cloth.
Now that it was just him and the dog, he didn't have to cover his face.... And although sometimes in the morning he was looking for a black mask on the nightstand out of habit, he got used to the pleasant feeling of air on the skin of his face. If necessary, he placed a few masks here and there. Just in case someone, somehow showed up in his town.
Now, standing in the pantry with his heart pounding, he unhesitatingly reaches to the back of one of the shelves where he hid the alcohol.
He purposely hid the bottles in the back of the cabinets behind other things so that every time he looks here, he won't notice the colorful bottles at all.
So that nothing would tempt him.
Pulling out a bottle of bourbon, he moved the cans of food and didn't hesitate. He feels that if he does not immediately drown his sadness in a glass of amber drink, he will not be able to bear the pain of another loss. Looking at the label, he smiles to himself. Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve 15 years 107 proof*. Searching the homes of these rich people had some benefits. Rich motherfuckers who didn't know what to do with their money bought everything expensive. The more zeros in a line, the better.
When he returns to the office, he doesn't even look at the surveillance system.
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Day 731
Ghost
He lost himself. He drank himself unconscious. It was long after sunrise, it is even after noon.
“Dammit”
Ghost mutters, slowly getting up from the chair he fell asleep in a few hours earlier.
He should have been looking for the dog since dawn. He shouldn't give up. He shouldn't lose hope. However, when he lost sight of the dog, something inside him broke. It reminded him too much of the previous two times he'd lost loved ones. He lost control again. Something thwarted his plan. He lost his stability. Monotony, life according to plan.
Barely walking, tripping over his feet and knocking several things off the dresser, he reaches the bathroom. He doesn't care about anything anymore. Everything is the same to him.
When rinsing her face with water, he does not look at her reflection in the mirror. He can't look into his own eyes. Again, he directs his steps to the pantry. To get another bottle. Ghost has already lost count, another bottle to forget.
It didn't matter. It's just that nothing makes sense anymore.
Wobbling on his feet, he returns to the small room, sits in the chair at the desk and takes a few sips straight from the bottle. Regret - he finally feels it. Another sip. Drown, drown. And he only hopes that alcohol will soothe this feeling, that it will help him fill the void he feels after Riley's disappearance.
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Day 732
Ghost
Another day of drinking. Once he touched his lips and felt a sharp substance with his tongue. And he fell into a trance again. It was hard to break out of it. Constant drinking. Vicious circle. Another bottle and another. Let it burn, sting, hurt. Just to feel something. Physically.
Finally, as if something was calling to him, he struggled to get up from the chair and dragged the body to the kitchen, he decided he had to do something. Anything other than just sitting here. With a lot of thinking, wondering, blaming. He's not a victim, he's not. He has to look for the dog. Keep going. He can't show weakness. Even before himself. He felt a little embarrassed. That he gave up again. Too quick and easy. He looks at the mess he probably left behind the night he drunkenly tried to make himself something to eat.
“I'll deal with it later,” he muttered, heading towards the dressing room. Trying to keep his balance, he stops in the hall, next to the small surveillance room, and freezes.
One screen was active. Detected movement.
"Fuck..." Ghost is angry with himself, pissed off. That he hadn't thought about sitting in front of the screens and looking at the city earlier. But now wasn't the time to blame himself or dwell on the situation. He must finally take action.
Looking at the screen, the soldier can't believe his eyes. He not only sees his beloved dog on the screen. Who slowly walks through one of the streets. In the live footage, he sees a figure walking.
Person.
Alive.
Without thinking, he quickly runs to his room to change and grab his gun. It's definitely an ambush. No one in their right mind would wander in the middle of the street in a strange city in the middle of the day. With a dog by my side.
Bait.
Surely the rest of the group was waiting somewhere outside the city or on the roofs of buildings. He has to do something, he has to get Riley back. Adrenaline stimulates his body, his thoughts flow in one direction. Bring Riley home. Punish those who had the nerve to steal his dog.
He had never driven under the influence of alcohol, but he had no choice. It would take him too long to walk downtown, and he couldn't let the intruders get any closer to his house. Or worse, they'll leave town with his dog.
Besides, the only danger in driving a car in such an environment was himself. And he doesn't care about his own health and life.
Before leaving, he checks the camera again, the figure slowly approaches the City Hall building.
"Easy target" Ghost smiled, plenty of space to capture. He loads his gun and runs out the door as fast as he can, his fingers firmly wrapped around the sniper rifle.
While driving through the city streets, he tries to focus on driving straight, but at the same time he is constantly looking around for a potential threat. It definitely has to be a larger group, Ghost is expecting several people. To his surprise, however, he doesn't notice anything unusual.
Finally he stops and he leaves the car a few blocks from the town hall and starts walking towards it. He hopes he's not late. That the intruder and his dog hadn't moved too far.
There were rather low buildings near the town hall, so a block earlier he turned left and headed to one of the skyscrapers, from where he would have a better view. A better place to attack. However, there is no time to enter it. He freezes in place because he hears Riley barking and then a human voice. A woman's voice.
“Shit…”
He muttered through his teeth. Of course he might have expected a group of travellers to send a woman or a child out to scout. To stir up sympathy only to have someone lose their guard.
He has to play it differently. He looks around the street and decides to enter the restaurant on the corner, remembering that there is a passage inside and he will have a perfect view of the street where the town hall was located. As he walks through the abandoned building, he mentally curses himself for drinking so much. Adrenaline helps him focus and stay upright, but he fears what will happen if he ends up having to aim his gun. When he reaches the storefront overlooking City Hall, he freezes.
Woman pets Riley tenderly and happily says something to him.
Dog seemed to sense his presence because it sits on its hind legs and looks towards the building where the soldier is.
Without thinking, Ghost raises his gun and takes aim.
He must get the dog back and show the strange travelers that they cannot take what is his. That he is in charge.
Fractions of seconds. Ghost pulls the trigger, shoots. The woman falls forward. Without even realizing the threat standing in the dark building in front of her. She falls, but not from the shot. There is not a single drop of blood. No screaming in pain.
It was Riley who pulled her over. He saved her. He protected her from the bullet.
Assessing the situation, Ghost quickly leaves the building and continues to aim his gun at the lying woman.
He didn't expect this development, of all the possible scenarios that went through his head. He did not foresee, despite years spent on the battlefield, reading thousands of training materials.
That the dog would be against him and protect some random stranger.
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Day 732
You
Everything happens so fast that it is impossible to rationally connect the facts: the shot, Riley pulling the leash and the fall. So much, in a split second.
But the only thing that is echoing in your head right now is whether or not Riley is okay.
So you don't notice the massive, tall and masked figure slowly walking towards you... The first thing you should do is check the condition of the dog. Riley. That's all that matters to you. You sit on your lap and look closely at the dog.
“Riley, oh boy, are you okay? Show yourself".
You check the dog, and after making sure that the dog is alright, you find no trace of blood or the slightest injury. Relieved, you slowly get back to your feet. Straightening up, you finally see with horror the figure standing in front of you who wanted to shoot you a moment ago. And now it's starting to dawn on you what just happened. What is really happening and that you are in great danger. You open your mouth and then close it, repeating this action several times, you want to say something. But what can you say at a time like this? No words come out of your throat.
“Stand where you're standing and let go of the leash”
The masked man growls lowly, slowly turning his gaze from you to the dog, slowly stepping closer to the two of you.
“Raise your hands above your head and don't move.”
You shiver with fear, chills running through your body. The sound of a man's low voice, any human voice other than yours after many months. Weird feeling. Irrational.
After a while, you finally recover and slowly raise your hands.
“Let go of damn leash!”
You look at the man with fear. It occurs to you that this must be the same man who left the letter on the tower. Anyone else could be masked and not call themselves Ghost. He was tall, well built. He was dressed in tactical gear, a bulletproof vest and... a mask. This was no ordinary balaclava. A skull was attached to the material. The front part, with a fragment of the upper jaw, eye sockets, and forehead. It must have been a human skull. You involuntarily shiver harder in fear, trying to take a deeper breath. This was not what meeting another human being was supposed to be like. This wasn't what you expected.
Ghost will raise his gun higher, still pointing it at you.
“Riley. Heel.., come here"
He calls to the dog, breaking the terrible, prolonged silence. The confused dog stands up and takes one step towards the soldier. But he doesn't go any further.
“This… this dog is mine”
The words finally fall out of you, you muster up your courage and whisper, keeping your eyes on the man
“Don't take him away from me. Not again.”
“Your dog? I think you've got something wrong"
Ghost growled, clearly annoyed. His arm muscles visibly tense, this entire exchange makes no sense to him. Waste of time.
"Y-yes, he's mine..."
You start to say, trying to control the emotions you're feeling. You slowly lower your hands.
“I can prove it. Just let me”
Regardless of the fact that the gun is constantly pointed at you, you have to prove it to him and keep the dog with you. No matter what, at any cost. You want to reach into your backpack and take out that old worn-out photo that you still carry with you to this day. One of the few souvenirs you have kept from your past life.
“Hands up, damn it, I'm not playing any games. Give the dog back and leave town."
Ghost shouts, you can see that he is becoming more and more irritated by your behavior.
“You can take everything you find and leave my city. Riley stays where he belongs - with me."
You shake your head negatively, swallowing the lump in your throat, trying not to cry
“No, the dog is mine.”
“Oh, damn it, I don't have all day for unnecessary discussions. Tell your people not to come back here again. Or at least have the courage to show up in person and not send a woman. Pathetic".
As he says this, he finally lowers the gun and pats his thigh, trying to get the dog's attention.
“Riley! Heel!”
Thinking little, or probably not thinking at all, you reached into your backpack and opened the zipper, looking for a photo.
“Dammit, kid, you don't understand what I'm telling you. Leave the dog and fuck off."
You don't care anymore, if you were to leave this city without your dog, you'd rather die here. Now, at this moment.
You take out the photo, which you have carefully secured to prevent any further damage. You raise your hand, holding the photo, and try to stop it from shaking. Despite your emotions, you calmly say to masked man
"Look, this is my dog. Mine. Look, Riley's missing a piece of his ear. You see? Dog in this photo doesn't have it either…”
The man hesitates for a moment, but decides to approach and take a closer look at the photo in your hand.
“That doesn't prove anything,” Ghost starts to say, but you interrupt him
"What do you mean? How many dogs of this breed have such a wound? How many have a black collar with an engraving on the back, with the exact name and phone number?"
As you say this, you state what is written on his collar
“You could take this off him and read it.”
"How do I know there's something written inside?"
There was silence. Another long, tiring one. You looked at each other without saying a word.
The man was taller than you and towered over you, his broad frame creating a shadow above you, his dark eyes narrowing as he looked at you. As if he was trying to read what was going on in your head.
You feel a little dizzy. The whole situation was so strange, so surreal. This wasn't what my first conversation with another human being in two years was supposed to look like. This wasn't how the first meeting was supposed to go. At least it wasn't what you imagined.
There's something wrong with the man across from you. Weird, dark, terrifying. His attitude irritates you and something inside you finally breaks. You explode.
“Ghost, listen…”
You started, raising your voice slightly
“I don't know what your intentions are, why you're so defensive about this town and this dog. But I came here alone! ALONE! I haven't seen a living person in two fucking years. I don't understand what kind of travelers you're talking about and why you don't want to admit that this dog is mine. But... but I don't want to leave, not after finding Riley."
When you say this, you look at the dog that sat between you and the soldier. Riley lay down, as if he was also tired of all the strange interaction between two people he knew, through which he was confused.
Ghost remains silent, never taking his eyes off you, as if wondering what to do. Pros and cons.
Finally, the sound of the watch interrupts his persistent gaze, and the man sighs loudly, as if resigned, and says
“Let's just say… I believe you. Temporarily”
The man secures the gun and hangs it on his shoulder. Seeing this, an involuntary smile appears on your face.
“Come on, kid, it's late. We have to go” 
Ghost points to the sun, which is slowly starting to hide behind the buildings
"We'll finish this conversation somewhere else. Come on, both of you."
He waves his hand and points in the direction to go.
“Go ahead, I'll watch your back.”
The walk to the car doesn't take long, and you're glad that you won't have to walk another distance on your still scarred and aching legs.
"No way!"
You scream in shock when you see a large, dark pickup truck parked in the cul-de-sac.
“You have a working car! I couldn't find..."
Standing at the passenger door, a man interrupts you, stands next to the trunk and you open the hatch
“Riley, get in. You sit in the back too”
He points to the trunk of the pickup truck
"What? Are you kidding me?"
This man was behaving absurdly. You guess that years of loneliness made him unable to behave socially. He forgot what it was like to interact with another living person.
“Just. Get. In. And don't whine unless you want to walk to the tower. You know the way.”
The man looked at you without blinking.
“To the tower? Why are we going to the tower?”
You say in disbelief, letting go of another exchange of words, slowly climbing into the trunk and sitting down next to the dog. Ghost closes the trunk, making sure the dog is safe, and gets behind the wheel.
“We need to visit your companions. Since they're not in town, they're probably waiting for you there. You know my name, so you must have read the letter.”
As the car starts moving, you start to wonder if you did the right thing by getting into the trunk. Letting a stranger take you away, God knows where. There was something wrong with this man. He thought Riley was his and that you weren't coming to town on your own. Maybe he too, like you, has been living alone all these months. And he clearly couldn't cope with it. You hug the dog, just hoping that when you reach the tower, the man will finally believe you and let you stay.
Nevertheless, you did not want to be left on your own again. Only now did you feel how much you missed another living person. How much you needed to feel someone's presence. To know that you were not meant to live in isolation. You felt that the burden that had stuck with you through those many sleepless, weeping nights had finally fallen from your shoulders.
Maybe it was destiny.  This was your fate.
So, you accept it already.
Even if from now on, you will have to live with this strange, mysterious man in a mask.
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I haven't seen it yet but full hc for the m6 with an MC on the ADHD spectrum
The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who has ADHD
~ @themushroomgoesyeet hope you like these! I'm writing half from personal experience, half from what I've read and heard. Please let me know if there's anything that need correcting! ~
Julian
ADHD is a less familiar subject for him, if only because his areas of specialty so far have been contagious diseases and battle wounds
He's also not really one to judge you for difficulty keeping a sleep schedule, self-medicating with caffeine, or spending days on end obsessively learning everything you can about a specific subject
What's abundantly clear to him, though, is that you do not deserve to live with the guilt that comes from your own brain hijacking every commitment and interest that it doesn't prioritize
He knows what it's like to feel guilty for something that wasn't your fault, and he doesn't like seeing you live with it
The way he sees it, he's even more to blame for his shortcomings than you are, because you're actively working against your own brain and he's just ... sad (you'll have to tell him that this is not true)
This is going to become one of those shared challenges you tackle together as a couple
He'll write down all the bad effects of too much caffeine to motivate him to reduce your combined intake
You remind him to go to bed with you at a decent hour and call it "poetry time" instead of "bedtime" to trick both of your brains into not thinking of it as the end of the day
Asra
They love you. They love you so much. They never, ever want to get in the way of your preferences and vision
He enables you maaaybe a little more than he should
Staying up late is a great idea! Spending the entire day on your current fixation with no break to go outside or talk to people? Hey, don't let them ruin your fun ~
Thankfully, he cares about you far too much to leave you to engage in anything genuinely self destructive
Once the amount of caffeine you've consumed goes from "inadvisable" to "concerning," once your sleep schedule goes from "not ideal" to "dysfunctional", they'll step in in the gentlest way
Another cup of coffee? Let him get you some soothing tea. Another all-nighter? Snuggle him first, let him help you meditate a bit and see if you don't get drowsy
Nobody can combat executive dysfunction like this magician
All it takes is them feeling the slowly building dread through your bond, and they're lovingly poofing you off of the couch/floor/counter and into a very ticklish hug
His lifestyle is heavily ADHD coded as it is. He remains completely unfazed by the roller coaster that your brain can be
Nadia
To her, you are the best possible version of her opposite
She has a hard time changing between trains of thought. You reboot yours every time you walk through a door!
She sometimes forgets to slow down and appreciate the small things in favor of the bigger picture. You, on the other hand, are constantly pausing to notice them
And don't get her started on how much she admires your capacity to learn so much specialized knowledge in such a short period of time. It's truly astonishing and she adores it
However, she can tell that leaving it unchecked and untreated will make it difficult for you to function in the Palace's normal setup, much less follow regular routines
Quick to find a specialist in your condition and set up a few sessions with them, coming up with ways to work with your diagnoses and exploring medication options that you like
Insanely good at helping you keep your mind on track and regulate your attention and focus levels, even when it means pulling you away from a task that's about to eat up half your day
Likes to idly study the chaotic way you manage your personal spaces and try to figure out what the method to the madness is
Muriel
What, you think he's not used to living with a chaotic being that'll start three projects in a row before randomly walking out and not reappearing for several hours? Please.
Truthfully, there are some small things that annoy him. He likes predictability, and your base state of functioning is taking the next random tangent. That's not easy to not worry about
However, he knows that living with him takes plenty of patience as well. As long as you two can be patient with each other's quirks, and respectful when you lovingly intervene, that's what matters
He still loves hearing you ramble
He likes watching your eyes light up, listening to the excited lilt of your voice as you infodump all the new specialized knowledge you've gobbled up
That aside, he does love learning. Each of your new fixations is a new field of education for him by proxy
He's also someone who thrives on habit and routine and isn't afraid to put his foot down when your wellbeing is involved
He will scoop you up in his arms and lovingly carry you to bed when the bags under your eyes get too prominent and you start to nod off mid-sentence
Portia
Portia looks at you like you hung the moon. Portia thinks that every magical thing you do is mind-blowingly amazing. Portia assumes that all of your little quirks and non-habits are just you being you
Hey, if finding one specific food and eating it and only it for days on end is something you want to do, cool! Maybe it's secretly satisfying some magician's craving!
You're going to think about one thing and one thing only and learn everything there is to know about that thing? That's some badass scholarly behavior right there.
Well - except for the part where you forget something exists as soon as it's not in your hand anymore, or where time really does seem like a social construct, or where you somehow get physically and mentally stuck in one spot without being able to move
That looks ... miserable
Nobody can manage chaos like she can. She'll help you snap out of it, she'll remind you to eat and sleep and take your meds, she'll regularly ask when last you went outside or took a bath
And when you mess up - when you miss an event, or fall behind schedule, or leave things to pile up until they're too much - she'll be right next to you with an encouraging smile and plenty of grace
Lucio
This works either really well or really poorly, depending on the day, how he's doing, how you're doing, what you're both supposed to be doing, what the weather's like ...
It's unpredictable, but that's the fun of it!
Much of the time, your strong points support each other. There are few feelings Lucio hates more than boredom, but with a brain like yours around, there's always something new to try or think about
Few things cause the kind of bone-deep discouragement and guilt that constantly missing things does, but nobody values the importance of trying again like he does
On the other hand, sometimes you accidentally enable each other
Lucio's still learning the self-regulation involved with choosing to do something unpleasant and important over doing something enjoyable and completely useless
And if your brain decides that said pleasant thing is the only thing it's going to function for, well, not getting sidetracked is almost impossible. Good luck to you both
Thankfully, you both have a lifestyle that allows for unusual schedules and working styles. As long as you have each other to keep trying growing, you'll never get stuck for long
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genericpuff · 3 months
Note
Hey puff you have a day job right? How do you keep the motivation/discipline to create comics regularly and be an active blogger?
I've mentioned this a few times before and generally try to be as transparent as possible as I can when it comes to my real life circumstances and how they affect - and allow - my comic production schedule, because when it comes right down to it, I'm in a very privileged position that allows me certain luxuries that other comic creators simply don't have. And I don't really like the idea of someone seeing what I do and like... thinking that's a bar they have to meet because it often comes with a complete misinterpretation of what circumstances I'm in that may vary extremely from their own. Y'all are seeing a tip of a very large iceberg, y'know?
I do have a day job, I work as a tattoo artist, however my schedule is very much my own to control and while that comes with a lot of pressure to find my own work, it also allows for me to have flexibility with my other projects. That said, I'm only able to be that flexible because when I'm making money, I'm making really decent money (and with far less hours than I would need to make my living if I was working in retail still) and when I'm not, I've got a partner who makes a more consistent living that may have a much smaller hourly than what I get hourly for tattooing, but is still a decent hourly compared to minimum wage that he's able to handle bills while I get back on my feet (and there have been tons of times where our situations have been reversed, where I've been making good money and he's been needing extra help; it's honestly kind of some cosmic prank, the two of us can never seem to be doing financially well at the same time lmao)
Right now, we're just starting to come out of a slow winter season, so I've had more time than ever to sink into my personal projects. It does get stressful at times having such inconsistent payouts through the ebbs and flows of tattooing, but I try to be at peace with those slow seasons because it allows me to work on my passion projects. Especially when I've got not one, not two, but three separate tattoo expos (so far) to do this summer, which is gonna be (hopefully) three separate 30 hour weekends of straight tattooing haha And while I say hopefully (because yay good money and good publicity!) it's also gonna be extremely stressful and exhausting so I'm trying not to take the slower season for granted, because I know I'll be wishing for it again when I'm in the midst of it. And that's not even including all the other events I have booked this year that are purely for vendoring (so unrelated to tattooing) that are also gonna be crazy.
That said, the past couple years have felt particularly hard, but I know it's because we're unfortunately in the midst of a massive economic recession that has seen people spending less on luxury things - and that includes tattoos. But my comics and other personal projects give me a great outlet for my ideas and thoughts, and while projects like Rekindled are unfortunately not something I feel comfortable monetizing, they are ultimately projects that bring me a lot of joy and I think that's the best I can ask for nowadays while I wait in the hopes that things get better soon in the real world.
As for getting that motivation/discipline, I don't really have one solid answer. The reality is just that I've been doing this for a long, long time, so not drawing comics feels like not doing any other established good habit. What you may feel wondering how I manage to work so long on a single comic project with such hefty updates is undoubtedly pretty close to what I feel wondering how the fuck people manage to go to the gym LOL It's taken a lot of routine building and repetition and it's as natural as breathing to me at this point, I just feel gross when I've gone a day without drawing comics in some form. That routine has helped me get better and faster at creating as well. When I started my first long-form comic series, I started out just drawing a page a day - often taking 3-4 weeks to complete a chapter - and by the time it was done 7 years later, I was putting out a chapter a week. And then that turned into 60-90 panels of full color art a week... nah, I don't recommend anyone do that on their own like I did, I can't even do that anymore and looking back I'm in shock how I was able to pull that off, and not in an amazed "why can't I do that anymore, I used to be so awesome!" way, but more in a "oh god why did I do that to myself, no wonder I'm burnt out" way.
And honestly that's kind of the reality of it, while I'm putting out consistent updates of Rekindled that are in full color and are - in my opinion - some of the best work I've put out in the last few years, I'm also struggling to rebuild habits with my original project because I've simply fallen out of practice. I'm one person responsible for all the work I've put out, and yet when it comes to looking at the projects I still have sitting on the backburner, I still feel a sort of internalized version of Person A looking at Person B and asking "how the hell do you do it???" just like you're asking me now lol I'm working on it though and trying to get back to it little by little, day by day. On rare occasions I actually get something productive done and make progress LOL
That said, none of it has come without consequences. I've spent the majority of my artistic journey working on the same project which I feel has severely stunted my outreach and set me back in my growth; after all, we only ever see and judge the merit of webcomic projects based on the 1% of people who got lucky and achieved some semblance of fame and recognition out of it, you never see the people who have spent years still picking away at the same project from the bottom with little to show for it besides the work that's going unseen. I've also already got way more back and hip pain than one should have by their late 20's and that's definitely a consequence of spending so many hours every single day working on comics. As much as I've built some great habits that have made my comics and art better, I've also ended up with some very bad ones that a lot of people don't see because all they see is the results from the good ones. So that's something that I hope I can at least warn people about, even as a reminder to stand up and stretch every now and then and get their proper amount of sleep LMAO
And then when it comes to the blogging... I'm an AuDHD person with a lot to say and I can type at 137/wpm. So that's all there is to that ♡( ◡‿◡ )
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sadesluvr · 6 months
Note
William afton nsfw alphabet from the movie please
William Afton / Steve Raglan - NSFW Alphabet
A/N: Thanks for the request! This was interesting as I wasn't feeling him at first but I've slowly been converted ... Slowly! Some of these were insipired by @hoshikoe ! 🫣
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Depending on what mood he’s in and the dynamic of your relationship, he can either be very warm and intimate, or quite dismissive.
B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His hands. They’re big, they’re powerful, and they’ve done unspeakable things, murderous or sexual. Yours are small compared to him, and it makes him feel like a God. On his partner he’s a thigh and ass man, he loves to rub and grab them and leave them raw from his manhandling…
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
Likes cumming in you because of the power aspect, but definitely does not want kids! Cumming all over your face after a blowjob is like crack to him, especially when it drips down your chin and he makes you lick it off his fingers. Also likes to see it trickle down your thighs or ass.
D = Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He’s given you a plushie with a camera in, and is constantly surveying you. Likes watching you undress, masturbate, even have sex with other people without you knowing. Even mundane things like music choices, he’ll play a song that you like when you're around and chalk it down to a ‘coincidence’…
E = Experience (How experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He’s VERY experienced, and loves that you’re inexperienced compared to him. If you’re a virgin he loves it even more, and he promises to be your teacher - Just do exactly what he says ;)
F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)
The Lotus - Having you in his lap where he can hold you down and use your lower body as he pleases is his vice, and it’s a position that works anywhere - In his office, at home, in a car, wherever. The Eagle in second as he loves watching your boobs bounce with every thrust as he chokes you.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Not goofy at all. He takes sex very seriously, and it’s one of the few times he can be ‘himself’ - Ruthless and dominant.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
A significant amount of hair, but it’s not too wild as he keeps it trimmed (when he feels like it). Has a greying happy trail…
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
It depends on his mood and your relationship. If he was married/dating you he’d tell you how beautiful you are and how much he ‘loves’ you (whether he can feel it or not), but if you’re having an affair/forbidden relationship he’s less cuddly and sluts you out.
J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)
Loves jerking off, even if he has you. He does it to his secret footage of you, or will call you into his office/bedroom and make you watch him until he cums. Intense eye contact. If he hasn’t fucked in a while then his loads are heavy, otherwise they’re a normal amount.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
He is KINKY. Off the top of my head - Power play, dom/sub, role play, light BDSM, cucking (with him as the bull), phone sex, corruption and age differences (not p3dophilic adjacent). Bring it up and he’ll probably try it.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
His office. The risk of someone walking in is a turn on, and it’s convenient for him as he can keep his *real* life private.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
It’s not explicitly sexual, but someone who is shy/introverted/naïve. He loves the idea of building you up with compliments and attention yet breaking you down so that you become obsessed with him - Feeding in to his love for power play and corruption. Outside of this, short skirts/tight fitting clothes/glossy lips always get him going.
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Piss/scat play. Incest stuff (Stepcest is a grey area). Letting you be dominant.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Receiving. He’ll happily give it (as long as you’re in 69 or to get you to experiment with oral sex if you’re a virgin) but nothing beats the image of you between his legs. He likes losing control and facefucking you.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He always starts of slow and sensual, but he always loses control and fucks you like a ragdoll.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Loves them. He’s a horny old man and will get it when he wants and whenever he can. The different locations and risk of being caught turns him on.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
He’s a literal serial killer, risk taking is in his blood. He will experiment with everything regardless of location or kink as long as he’s in control.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
He’s got great stamina for a man his age, so he can last for an average of 3 rounds, but it depends on the intensity of your session.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Yes, probably only something simple like a vibrator or a nipple clamp. His cock is his favourite toy, and prefers the power of him being the only thing that can make you cum. Doesn’t use any on himself.
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
A BIG TEASE, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT PLAYS INTO HIS POWER/DANGER KINK. Will touch your panties under your skirt at a restaurant/when working or brush past you ‘accidentally’. If you tease him, you will be punished.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Depends on the situation - If you’re having a secret relationship, he’s good at being quiet, but if not/you’re alone, he’s vocal, but not loud. Says dirty things in your ear and grunts when he finishes.
W = Wild card (A random headcanon for the character)
He has a cucking kink. Would cuck his wife and your boyfriend…(Not naming names👀)
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Slightly over average in length and girth; but nothing dramatic. At the end of the day he knows how to use it!
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
HORNY AS FUCK. Like a teenager. Will take you anywhere and everywhere. He basically has no boundaries.
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Depends on the situation. Can fall asleep pretty quickly at home but has intimacy issues so he might get up and do something after. If you’re in a forbidden/taboo relationship he’ll just leave, sorry.
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autisticlifelessons · 8 months
Text
Tips for boosting driving confidence in Autistic people
For some autistic people, myself included, driving anxiety can be really detrimental to your ability to get around and be independent. However, this year (10 years after starting to learn and 9 years after passing my test lol), I have been working hard to improve my confidence and whilst I still have a ways to go, my anxiety isn't nearly as bad as it was and I've driven places I would never have dreamed of this time last year.
The following tips are aimed at autistic people, but I think they'll apply to anyone who considers themselves a nervous driver.
Practice makes perfect! - if something makes you super anxious, the natural thing to do is avoid it if at all humanly possible, right? Well, it might make you feel relief in the moment, but over time this just reinforces your anxious thoughts and can make it harder and harder to break the cycle. As much as it sucks, the key thing is to just. keep. driving. Start with just short journeys on familiar roads and build it up from there. The more situations you encounter the more your skills will improve. For various reasons - including issues with visual processing and sensory overload - it's natural that some autistic people take longer to feel comfortable and confident at doing something, so just keep working at it and you'll slowly but surely notice a difference.
Leave yourself plenty of time - being late is a massive trigger for me, so if I find myself in a situation where I have to drive somewhere in a tight time frame it really freaks me out. Give yourself plenty of time to get where you need to go, so you know you have wriggle room if there's unexpected road closures or if you make a wrong turn. This is especially important if you're going somewhere unfamiliar as you will probably already be anxious about this. Plus, if you arrive early you will have some time to regulate/decompress yourself in preparation for whatever you have planned.
Set out your boundaries - Ok driving alone but having people in car with you sends you into a flat spin? That's fine - say no to passengers for a while and then if you feel ready have a trial run with someone you know will be kind and supportive. Equally, if you find having someone in the car with you is reassuring, that can be a big help - just be sure they understand you are feeling anxious so they don't pressure you to go routes you aren't ready for. Also, some people are overconfident in their driving abilities and may try to get you to do things that are unsafe - don't listen to them! Trust your own judgement.
Set a goal - having something specific to work for can help motivate you and give you a measure of your confidence improving. Maybe you want to drive to an out of town shopping centre, or take a road trip with a friend? Just make sure your goal is realistic and you give yourself a big pat on the back once you achieve it.
Practice self compassion - driving is stressful for some people and that's totally ok. I've accepted that while I can safely get from A to B, I'm probably never someone who is going to want to drive for fun. Remember, you are in charge of your life, no one else. Whilst I'm ok driving short distances, if I have to go to another city I would always opt for public transport if at all available. I know it'll make the whole thing much less stressful for me (and is better for the environment, too). Also, if you've been trying for a while but driving just isn't for you, that's totally ok, too! It sucks that the way our society is built means not having access to your own car is inconvenient at best, but remember we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and deciding not to drive doesn't make you a failure. You can bet the minute I can get hold of a (reliable and affordable) self-driving car, my life will be made so much easier!
And there you have it! I do hope my tips brought you some comfort or reassurance if this is something you've been struggling with. Remember, these tips are what have helped me personally - I am not a driving (lol) or medical professional, and I certainly don't claim to speak for all autistic people.
Your support is hugely appreciated xx
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the-eeveekins · 5 months
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The 24th Day of G-Witch: Unrelenting Tenderness
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Screenshots can't really do this scene (or much of the Calibarn's scenes) justice because of just how fast it moves, but Suletta is just really incredible during this fight. I can be hard to see with the speed, but she's actively blocking, punching and kicking the Rebuild's bits away instead of destroying them because she knows each one contains a child of the coven.
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I've read analysis on why Lauda's motivations make sense from his point of view and why he's doing this, but it's very hard to care when he's such a minor character and this has absolutely no bearing on the main events of the story happening right now. Almost to drive home how far removed this fight is from the main story, Guel and Lauda are having this fight by themselves, completely away from Quiet Zero and everyone else.
It's just hard to care at all about any of this when it's really just an excuse to keep Guel involved to some degree in the finale, and give the Schwarzette some screen time to sell model kits.
And to be fair, the Schwarzette is an absolutely awesome mobile suit, one of my favorite Gundams (It's also a REALLY DAMN GOOD gunpla kit). It just oozes cool during this fight and I wish they had found a reason to include it earlier (Like Guel piloting it against Shaddiq in episode 20). It almost feels like they had to nerf it by giving it to an incredibly unpopular character (I attribute Lauda's popularity bump post-series to the Schwarette).
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Ericht is trying her hardest to push Suletta away, but Suletta won't have any of it. She doesn't want to see her beloved family members do something awful that could kill so many people. She vehemently rejects Eri's plea for her to forget them and go back to school, because Suletta desperately don't want to lose her family and wants to be there for them, even in difficult times.
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Finally realizing that she can't convince Suletta to leave them alone, Ericht resorts to threatening Miorine and Suletta's friends to try and push her away, but she's stopped by someone else within Quiet Zero.
Now we know this is Elan (4), and for the connection to Suletta next episode, that certainly makes sense to a degree. But I still really wish it had been Notrette, protecting her daughter. Sadly, despite her connection to Quiet Zero, her goals, motivations and what caused her death largely remained a mystery.
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I really thought Guel was going to die here, but G-Witch firmly rejects death as atonement, and Felsi comes in and saves the day. Every Gundam series needs a Felsi to come and stop someone from dying a stupid death due to a misunderstanding and miscommunication. Guel and Lauda owe Felsi drinks for the rest of their lives.
But I hope to see her and her fire suppressant gun play a role in saving lives in a future Super Robot Wars.
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Okay, as a long time Gundam fan, I've grown to expect the sudden giant space station laser. It would be more of a surprise if a Gundam series DIDN'T invoke this trope at least once. And it does serve an important narrative goal: Prospera is NOT the ultimate antagonist, and Suletta needs something to fight in the final episode as a culmination of her arc, but that culmination needs to be non-violent. The SAL Laser fits that role perfectly. I just wish they had done a little bit better of a job building up the SAL throughout the series instead of largely dropping minor details in the background here and there. The laser didn't need a huge amount of build-up, but I feel like they should have hinted at it at least once before this episode to make it feel a little less like an ass pull.
I would like to point out that while the SAL clearly has a lot of pull, they're not all-powerful, and they don't have the influence to do as they please with impunity. They didn't have the military strength or political power to suppress the Benerit Group until they had evidence of Quiet Zero and Peil split off, and needed to resort to secretly aiding terrorist attacks against their own people while framing the Group to generate the necessary support to intervene. And they needed to frame firing the laser and destroying the L4 fronts as an accident instead of just blatantly firing it off.
The point is: Even if the laser wasn't destroyed at the end of the next episode, it's not like the SAL could keep using it with impunity. Their actions of funding terrorist attacks were outed, as well as their intentions of wiping out millions of their own people on purpose to seize power. We don't see it because it's not a focus of the story, but the SAL was probably neutered/dissolved by the sovereign governments and corporations that made up it's membership after the leaders tried a blatant power grab with terrorism and mass murder.
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A shame we didn't get to see it (thanks episode 15), but Suletta clearly informed Miorine about Prospera's plans and Ericht after their reunion. I love how frustrated Miorine gets over Prospera focusing on Eri to the detriment of Suletta. She knows how scared Suletta is of dying, but that she loved her mom and sister so much she was willing to board the Calibarn and fight for her life for the chance to talk them down and bring them home to be a family.
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Lynn and Mamiko Noto have both pointed out how incredible Miorine is in this scene. As Suletta's fiance, it would be easy for her to simply tell Prospera to love Suletta more, but Miorine knows how important Eri is to both Suletta and Prospera and tells her to love them both equally. It's incredible that she would take that into consideration, but it's because Miorine has already accepted Eri and Prospera as members of her family with Suletta. Considering what Prospera did to her, something I think 99% of people would consider unforgivable, it's incredible that she loves Suletta so much and respects Suletta's desire for family so much that she's willing to accept not just her sister-in-law, but her mother-in-law as part of their new family. She's not being vindictive, or snarky, and it's not just for the sake of trying stop Prospera in this moment. Miorine genuinely wants them all to be a family when this is all over.
And it's notable that Miorine does not include Delling as a member of her future family.
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This is the most ridiculous coincidence in the entire show. Notrette was the type of woman to leave a backdoor into her super weapon(?) just for her daughter, with the password being the genetic code for her strain of tomatoes. Something Miorine apparently never considered looking up and only knew about because Rouji just happened to decide to take a look at it? Why did we have a pointless fight between Lauda and Guel instead of learning more about this woman.
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Unrelenting Tenderness. It's Suletta's unrelenting love for her family that won't let her back down and forget about them while they potentially terrorize the Earth Sphere. It's Miorine's unrelenting love for Suletta that she's already accepted Eri and Prospera as family and wants them all to have a happy future together. And finally, Eri's unrelenting love for her mother and sister means she'll do anything to protect them both, even sacrificing her life to save them.
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csuitebitches · 7 months
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Hi! You're amazing and your page is amazing. I'm a girl who's really interested in growing and building my life. My mental illness has taken so much from me, so I feel I am starting life over this year like a little baby while everyone else is an adult. I often feel VERY insecure around friends who are normal and have achieved so much and have not made the many mistakes that I have.
I now have been isolating myself because I usually feel so ashamed of myself when I'm with them. I barely have any cooking skills as a female, I've never held a real job, I never network or connect with anyone, I have felt so miserable with a scowl on my face everyday, and I barely know what I'm doing with my life now in college.
As I am now working on my character flaws, how do I still feel I am loveable to my friends, stop pushing everyone away, and stop feeling like hiding when I'm with them?
everyone was once in your shoes. Were your friends born with their job? Were they born accomplished? Was Gordon Ramsey born with a knife in his hands? Have you seen the video of him crying because of his mentor Marco Pierre White?
Ive lightly burned my fingers, my food, set off the university dorm fire alarm because of my initial cooking skills. I’ve melted a spatula. I’ve burned countless toasts, broken glass bottles, had a whole bug infestation because I forgot to close the fridge tightly when I left uni for summer. Then I learned. I watched more YouTube videos. I practiced cooking. I can objectively say I cook better than my mom today because I made the effort to learn.
A master was also an amateur once.
“I never network with anyone” it’s good that you can admit the things you need to work on. The way you address problems like this is:
a) are there networking opportunities near you?
b) can you look up conferences and opportunities near you?
you assume that your friends have not made as many mistakes as you have. Do you go on a radio show and tell the whole world about every mistake you’ve made in your life? Even with close friends, one does not always reveal every single thing or sometimes, doesn’t feel the need to.
your journey is your own. The exam paper of your life does not have the same answers that your friends have written.
you’re not going to magically wake up accomplished, you’re going have to work towards it. And the best part is, you’re in college! That’s such a great stepping stone because you’re in an environment that’s programmed to help you grow if you can use your cards right.
can you join any extra curricular clubs or activities? Or ask your professors or the counsellor for internship opportunities? Can you organise an event like a bake sale or something for the local charity? Can you take up volunteering opportunities?
your insecurities are holding you back. You’re not any less lovable than the friends and family in your life. You have control over your own life. When you choose to actively put yourself out there, start socialising, engaging with people - which can be difficult for some people but always rewarding - you’ll start seeing change.
unfortunately the world doesn’t revolve around us. If you’re unhappy with how things are, the remote control of your life is in your hands.
you’re already working on yourself which is great. That means you have the intrinsic motivation to do something. It’s time to stop moaning and whining and start creating a plan of action.
tackle things one thing at a time. Don’t start with 10 things.
From your message it seems like:
You need help with adulting - cooking.
job - ask your college counsellor/ professor of your favourite subject for internship opportunity, on campus or off campus.
purpose -find a hobby, sport, volunteering cause, something that you like that you actually enjoy.
look at these three problems in the best positive light. It means you get to learn all these things you didn’t know! It means you’ll be able to meet new people who could become really good connections!
make your life simple. Progress doesn’t mean going from burning the kitchen down to cooking a three course meal. It means taking one week to learn how to fry an egg. It makes taking a week to learn how to make a decent pancake or some rice. It means screwing up 10 times and then finally getting it right on the 11th.
allow yourself to make mistakes. Acknowledge to yourself about them and move on.
Do not let your shame hold you back from living your life. We torture ourselves in imagination more than we actually suffer in real life.
I’ve felt embarrassed countless times in my life. I’ve slipped up, messed up, forgotten things, done what I wasn’t supposed to, held my tears back, been scolded, full blown cried, scribbled aggressively in my diary, ranted to my mom, had dramatic fights with my imaginary boss in the shower, woken up late, screwed up royally in important meetings. These are not original experiences. These are universal experiences. Anyone who is telling you that they have never felt this is a dirty liar.
I wouldn’t exchange those mistakes for the world.
How do you think I’m able to give you advice on this if I didn’t go through those similar experiences?
If you want to make changes in your life that badly, start today. Set three simple goals that are achievable. Set deadlines. Be your own parent. Get your life together.
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 5 months
Text
In honor of Christmas spirit, I will present you with things I love about my moots and why I appreciate them. Hope this there's you guys up no matter what you're going through right now, you deserve to have something good said about you, I love you guys <333
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A/n: please excuse the few ones because now I've started to drink.. vodka mule.. hope I don't say anything too weird and I know I'm kinda a weak drinker, still building my tolerance and all.
Alright, let's start with my most favorite moot..
@puff0o0
🩷 You are so pretty love, how dare you ever say anything otherwise. The curly hair and it's beautiful color, facial features that look like they've been carved by a sculptor and down to your sweet voice. Physically hurts me to know that you're gonna say otherwise :((
🩷 Your writing? Fucking top tier fluff ever, those mean comments about it? Screw them, your writing got you to almost 3k followers and they're just jealous because they don't have that.
🩷 You are such a good friend, always caring for everyone and not asking anything for in return. Also please love, give yourself a break and please rest. Never will forget the first time we interacted because you are by far the sweetest creator who so happens to be well known.
@connorsui
🩵 Christmas is the time of giving right? It's time to give some back to you. I'm gonna get this out of the was, sweetie you are the best kind of reader I have ever come across and there's really only one of you, I wouldn't have it any other way.
🩵 You are the kindest and funniest person ever, your commentary keeps us writers motivated. I mean this genuinely, I find myself always looking forward to what you have to say on my works.
🩵 I'm sure many writers you've reblogged will agree with me, your commentary has honestly been the best, you sure know how to make me feel better about what I write. Also I'mma need some of those memes you use, you're so iconic and funny I can't.
@simp4konig
❤️ You don't give yourself enough credit for how much you help people boost their works, saying you haven't done much but commenting, talking to me and just interacting with my work does so much.
❤️ You are literally so nice to me, I don't even know where to begin with the list of things you've done that you refuse to be credited for.
❤️ You're so funny and another great writer, I hope that I see more of your writing along the way.
@blingblong55
❤️ First of all, who gave you the right and talent to be such a good writer? Genuinely, what kind of drugs are implemented in your writing.. you got me to like Makarov.. you're that powerful. I know I'm into villains but I wouldn't be surprised if you got me to like shepherd too... Please don't. (This is not a challenge please 😭)
❤️ How can I say this without sounding like a total fangirl? I'm obsessed with your work as you can tell, so much so that you're one of the creators who inspired me to start writing again and still as of now I think of your works while writing my own.
❤️ I DEFINITELY WASN'T SQUEALING AND KICKING MY FEET IN MY BED WHEN YOU FIRST INTERACTED WITH MY WORK...
@anonymuslydumb
🩵 Love you as the first Filipino person I had interacted with within this app that doesn't happen to be my school friend or relative.
🩵 Mangangaroling po, blue and yellow bills only. Pwede din po through G-cash and ShopeePay, pero no less than 1k pag-ganon AHAHAHA CHAROT, KIMI LANG.
🩵 Mwah <3
@shadofireshinobi
🖤 You are so special I can't even, you're my first ever mutual, first request and first person that I can genuinely talk to here before anyone.
🖤 You've made me feel so comfortable in my own skin and I know you're facing difficulties with your own that I am too but you're in so much more difficulty. I really do wish the best for you, love.
🖤 You are so strong, confident and resilient, you've been through so much and gosh you are the definition of a powerful woman who I wanted to be when I was young. Child me would be the happiest knowing that a motherly figure is looking after her.
Past Friends and Relatives <3
@marshmallowinamess
💚 Do I even have to say this? You are the best person in my life, my soulmate forevermore, we've been through so much together that I don't know where to start. I wish I was able to express how much I love you.
💚 You have been there for me through thick and thin for the most difficult times of my life, you've saved me countless times and though it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough, I made a promise to myself that I will make it up to you even if it will be the rest of my life.
💚 You are the only person who stood up for me when I needed you the most, I just.. don't know what else to say because what can you give someone who's done so much for you? Who has treated you better than anyone in your life, better than your parents? What can you possibly do to repay someone who saved you from yourself?
@ysalinedevreux
❤️ I know we've had conflict and drama in the past and I just wanna say I'm thankful that you contacted me again because we would've missed out on the friendship we were supposed to have.
❤️ A lot has happened and yet you stayed strong and we both learned from our past.
❤️ Happy holidays my dear <3
@rabblebite
🧡 What more could I say to my most favorite cousin in the world?
🧡 Thanks for being there for me always, you've made heartwarming promises and we still have a lot of adventures together (we're both drunk right now)
🧡 Honestly I wish my dad would take me here more often because then I'd get to spend more time and gossip with you guys. Thank you for comforting me like you always do when I needed, immediately noticing the change in my voice and that I'm crying.
Special mentions:
@azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @trepaika @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @thesnowurzikdjinn @legallymentallyillfuckers @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb
You guys are always there to support my works and I want reciprocate that as much as I can, each and every one of you are so talented. I wish I can write more and do you guys justice but my eyes hurt so much and this is overdue. You guys are such good writers and even more amazing mutuals of mine who I know have been through some tough times. Know that all of you are welcome to talk to me when you need to and that my page is open to comfort as much as I can from a distance <3
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space-writes · 10 months
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Obsidian Templates For Writers
it is once again Posting About Obsidian time, and I figured I'd do something useful and share some of the templates I've been using in the Valloroth Vault!
I like using templates because then all my info gets organised in a consistent way, which makes using it way easier. Some of these do use a bit of css to make parts work, which I'll link with the template and explain how to use at the end of the post.
Also, some of these shamelessly just riff on the structure of the Forgotten Realms wiki pages because i am who i am and i spend way too much time looking up lore for dungeons and dragons.
Included below the cut are templates with examples for the following:
Character profile (wiki style page)
Character profile (for writing with)
Country
Organisation/Group
Chapter outline
Let's go!
Character Page (wiki style)
pastebin / infobox css
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This is the main profile I use for characters! Here you can see the markdown, the preview, and a fully filled out example. For minor characters, I cut the sections I don't need, but so far for major characters, I find that filling out all these sections is very helpful.
At the top of the page you can see the metadata I use, which is what I've settled on after a few iterations as 'the things I actually want to be able to see and use'. Feel free to adjust/adapt to whatever is actually useful to you!
The cssclass is some tweaks I have for my personal obsidian css, so I've left the classes out in the template for you to add whatever you'd like yourself, or you can remove it entirely.
The 's' tag is to remind me to tag new character with the series they're in, e.g. Aliyne would be 's/rp' because she's from the Renegade Prince series. The 'character-sheet' tag is so I can filter out character sheets in searches or queries if I need to.
Character Page (for writing with)
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This is the page I use for tracking a character within a project. I need all the wiki info for character building, but I don't want my plot threads, character arcs, motivations, and other key info lost and buried in there whilst I'm working! This lets me pull out that info into a shorter, easier to read section.
The double :: are for use with the dataview plugin, because that way I can pull them into tables to track with the rest of my book information
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Here's an in-use example with Aliyne again. The 'br' tags are to get things to show up on seperate lines whilst still counting as one line for pulling into dataview, so if you're not using dataview you don't have to use those
Country Template
pastebin / infobox css
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I use the same basic kind of template for all locations, just removing or adding sections as I need. I don't always fill all of these out, it depends on how important the place is and how much worldbuilding/research I feel like doing!
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And here's an in-use example, with Zhirasea (very much still wip). You can see how I use tags for organisation here: location and sublocation, and the status of the note. I never use a 'done' tag because it's never done. When something's ready I just use 'active'.
I have a variant of the template for regions, settlements, and buildings as well, just with less categories in each as needed, and then I log which kind it is under the 'type' field in the metadata.
Organisation / Group Template
pastebin / infobox css
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This one's for fictional organisations! Heavily lifted from the FR wiki but you know what? It works.
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Here's an in-use example, with my crime syndicate, the Zarahmin! You can see I added a collapsible callout with the 'Zarahmin Code' in it as well, since this particular organisation actually has a code of conduct.
Chapter Outline
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This is a fun one - my current chapter outline! This is very much a living document, but it's what I've found useful for this project so far. It combines a few different outlining methods (MICE threads, Promise/Progress/Payoff, One Sentence Summary) as well as leaving me space to be flexible.
The template contains questions and explanations for various sections of the outline, to remind me what I'm looking for/need to fill in.
I found this most useful after finishing a first draft with a rough outline. It's very much a thing I recommend doing for a second draft, since otherwise you'll bog yourself down trying to have all the details in place.
Here's an example of filled out meta info for the prologue of Renegade Prince:
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(I use the section with 'Arcs' to list plot tags using :: dataview queries so I can pull them into tables, but again, if you're not using dataview, you can ignore that part!)
How to use the CSS Snippets
The infobox snippet is part of the ITS theme if you use it, or you can install it seperately by doing the following:
Go to this link and download the 'Callouts.css' file
In obsidian, go to settings -> apperance -> CSS snippets, and open the folder with the little folder icon
Paste the 'callouts.css' into that folder
Hit the refresh option in obsidian settings, and toggle the new snippet to on
it is now installed! any callout you insert with [!infobox] will now display with the infobox settings. if you want to tweak how it looks, you can poke around in the css file and see what happens
Oh boy that was another long post - I hope this was useful! As always, if you have any questions about the templates, or obsidian, feel free to shoot me a message.
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stargeode · 4 months
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Music Box Memories
This is my first spicy fic I've written so I hope people like it. Feedback is appreciated. Thanks @walkingchemicalfire for beta reading and being a great friend.
This is a BuckyxReader fic with the reader intended to be female. Possibility of Stucky later. I do not intend to include r*pe or Dead Dove in this fic.
TW: Marvel, Hydra, memory loss, action (if I missed any warnings, please let me know so I can include them)
Reader's POV
Adrenaline rushes your veins as you find the empty house. Everything about the place feels familiar, but not. You can perfectly envision where pieces of furniture that live as vague imprints in your memory would have once stood. It hurts when the memories hit you like this, but you can’t stop chasing them, feeling like you’re missing something important. Something that is supposed to be yours, and once was, but is not anymore. Perhaps Hydra took it, like they took most everything else, but it is hard for you to tell. All you really know is the memories hurt, but they feel important, and you can’t stop chasing them.
A sound catches your attention, the advanced hearing gifted to you by Hydra and their motives allowing you to follow the noise that a normal person might not notice. You move mechanically as you pick your way through charred remains of what was a building you once knew, but do not know anymore. The headache returns as you enter the bedroom. Your room, though you have no recollection of ever sleeping anywhere but the frigid cells and random motel rooms. You somehow know, almost instinctively, that it is your room though. The soft sound of a music box floats through the room, tickling at your thoughts. You recognize the melody, and can almost summon the words that pair with it.
Opening a drawer to a charred dresser reveals the source of the sound. The music box looks pristine, untouched by the destruction around it that happened so long ago. It appears to have been cared for, however, you were not the one doing the caring. A prickle floods down your spine. Danger. You sense it now and curse your foolishness at being here, searching for answers to forgotten questions. It was a trap, that much is obvious to you now.
A floorboard creaks behind you as a weight greater than your own rests upon it. Your movements are instinctive as you whirl and reach for a holster that you no longer carry. You recover the mistake quickly and pull a pocket knife from your jeans. The blade is small, but sharp, and you have killed with less ideal weapons. You have been made to kill with less ideal weapons.
“Easy.” His voice is soft, and vaguely familiar. You focus on his form through the darkness, and sparks of recognition hit you as you take in the blond hair, the piercing blue eyes, the gaudy uniform of red, white, and blue. He is familiar to you, an enemy of Hydra, and by extension, an enemy to you. Captain America is his name, and being this close to him is dangerous.
He doesn't seem intent on attacking you at the moment, and you take the time to assess your options. You didn't come for a fight, you didn't expect anyone to even be here. His frame is blocking the door, but in the remains of a building that had been struck by fire and the elements, that's hardly a deterrent for escape. Thinking quickly, you grab the music box and dive through the hole in the wall that held a window at some point.
“Wait!” The Captain's voice calls after you. “I'm here to help!” His words do nothing to stop your fall from the second story however, and your roll cleanly to your feet on impact. Your advanced hearing picks up rustling nearby, and a faint voice through a com. She's made a run for it. You take off in a dead sprint, heading away from the house that was yours once, maybe, and towards the clearing where you left the stolen motorbike.
You're fast, your smaller body allowing for you to move through the foliage faster than the Captain can hope to you. You know this, and use your surroundings to your advantage, putting as many obstacles between you and him as possible. What you could not predict, however, is his companion.
Bucky's POV
“She's made a run for it.” Steve's voice crackles through the com in Bucky's ear. He can hear Tony, Sam, and Natasha acknowledge, but he keeps quiet as he hears the girl land near his hiding place.
She looks oddly familiar still, his botched memories telling him that he knows this rogue asset, but he cannot recall her name or if he ever worked with her. There's no time to dwell on it as the girl takes off running. He can get his answers after she's safely in their custody.
She knows she has a tail, that much is obvious as she applies evasive maneuvers. Bucky keeps as close as he can, following her doggedly. Memories flair in his skull as he catches sight of the tattoo on the nape of her neck. She was Hydra's Deadly Nightshade. And the Winter Soldier knew her code words.
⋘ » ☆ « ⋙
Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!
Thank you for reading!
Taglist: @walkingchemicalfire. @ordelixx
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thebramblewood · 5 months
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What advice would you give to a simmer just starting out writing stories with their sims? How do you build engagement with your posts? How do you write such addictive stories?
Wow! Okay. Buckle in because this will be a long one. I think the most important thing is writing for yourself first and foremost. Don't let your passion be driven solely by engagement (though it's impossible not to be motivated by it a little bit!) but by your own desire to see your project through. I've been a creative writer forever, and 75% of that writing has been written for an audience of one. But sometimes a character or concept will grab me by the throat and refuse to let go, and that's what keeps me invested. I unfortunately can't tell you how that happens. It usually feels like a happy accident. But when it does, it comes through, and readers will want in on it too. That being said, here are some tips for actual presentation:
Engaging visuals. I don't think Reshade or fancy editing is a requirement, but I can't pretend I didn't see a huge uptick in engagement when I started using it. Now, that may also be because I started thinking more about the composition of a shot. Diversify your angles and perspectives, and don't be afraid to zoom way in or out! Move that camera around as much as possible! I know very little about the technicalities of film and photography, but I think the more you practice, the better your eye becomes for what looks dynamic.
Legible captions. I'll be brutally honest: when I'm scrolling the dash, I'm less likely to stop for story posts if the text on the images is not immediately readable. I've by no means perfected this, but I've tweaked my own text over time to make it larger, and I find that very light colors with a black border is almost always the best option. I also try to visualize leaving space for the text to fit as I'm taking shots (though I sometimes forget).
Text-only transcript. My controversial opinion is that I don't like reading transcripts because it's easier for me to engage and follow along if I can see the images and words interacting. BUT I still think it's important to include them, so I always have one under the cut. If you'd rather not do captions on images at all, I personally find it more engaging for the text to be broken up throughout rather than in a big chunk at the end. This is especially helpful if you're writing more descriptive prose, as most people (including me) unfortunately have very short attention spans.
Adaptability! It's helpful to have an outline (whether it's in your head or written) of where you want to end up and how you're going to get there, but the most fulfilling part of writing for me is in giving myself license to follow new ideas or let old ones evolve, even if that means going a bit off-track. Also, it's tempting to establish a formula and lock yourself into an aesthetic from the start, but if you feel like something isn't working, don't be afraid to change it up! You'll be unhappy if you stick with it just for consistency's sake, and you'll rob yourself of opportunities to experiment and have fun. I think readers also appreciate a shake-up so that things never start to feel stale.
That's a lot, I know, but hopefully some of it helps. I've only been doing this here for a few months, and I'm also still figuring things out!
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spnhunter4life · 4 months
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Winchester's Girl
A Dean hockey AU. I went to a game with my coworkers last night and came up with this idea. However, since I have neither the motivation nor the knowledge of the sport to write out a full-fledged fic for this, have a bullet pointed summary of what I came up with. (What would this be called? An imagine maybe? I feel like I've seen posts similar to this called imagines.)
A/N: Ok, so this turned out to be longer than I anticipated (imagine that). This is a bit more actual story and less summary than I expected when I started this. I still think it fits better in this format though, because it's easier to skip around where I want and not put the effort into combining it all together somehow. Also, just a heads up, this is tagged friends to lovers because I think that's the best way to describe it. I also think the lovers part tends to imply that there will be smut, but that is not the case here.
Word Count: 3.5k
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You and Dean have been friends for so long, you can barely even remember life without him. You met in eighth grade when your family moved to Kansas and immediately clicked. You had a lot in common, but you especially bonded over your shared love of hockey. You were there to be proud and support him as he transitioned from the local high school team to the college team, and then again when he made it to a professional team. Nothing made you more proud or excited than hearing that he had become center for the Kansas Hunters.
All the guys on the team knew you. You were even pretty good friends with a few of them. Since you attended more of his games than you might care to admit and had even been known to attend a practice or two if you and Dean had plans after, the rest of the guys jokingly referred to you as Winchester's girl.
"Hey, Winchester! Your girl is here!" They would call out to him when they spotted you entering the building on practice days. It was Benny who said it the first time, and it just sort of caught on from there.
"Who is that girl?" Cas's new girlfriend asked one night, spotting you at a party following a big win. "I think I've seen her at every single one of your games." Cas barely even needed to glance in your direction to know who she was talking about. "Who, Y/n? That's just Winchester's girl."
A couple years ago, during the off season, Dean decided it was time to take you skating. Despite being a lifelong hockey fan, you'd never actually learned to skate. You were a little nervous about falling over a lot and making a fool out of yourself, but mostly you were excited. You loved watching Dean on the ice, the speed and ease with which he moved. It was like he was flying. You wanted to be able to experience that freedom for yourself.
Despite his laughter and teasing -- "How can someone who spends so much time at a hockey rink be so terrible at skating?" -- he was a very good teacher. He had endless patience and was familiar with the way you learned which made it easy for him to pass on the secret knowledge of how to balance on two blades in a way you quickly understood.
By the end of the first lesson, you were a little bruised from falling so many times but had also figured out how to stay upright and move around. And if you were still moving at a snail's pace as you got used to things while Dean zoomed by you, at least you were on your feet.
You and Dean have this years-long running bet of sorts. It started in high school when the two of you were in chorus together, you because you enjoyed it and wanted to be and Dean because he had to in order to get his fine arts credit -- although you suspect that no matter how much he denies it, there was a small part of him that enjoyed it. Your teacher had a requirement that at the local band/chorus contest, everyone must participate in at least one small group piece on top of the pieces you sang as a full choir. Dean pestered you for days before you finally agreed to do a duet with him. "But," you told him, "only if you score a goal within the first three minutes of the game tonight." You weren't sure why you decided to make him work for it instead of just agreeing. After all, you knew he was a decent singer and would make a good duet partner. Not to mention you enjoyed spending time with him, so working on a song together wouldn't exactly be a hardship. But you'd already offered the deal and weren't about to take it back. Of course Dean's eyes lit up at the challenge and he immediately agreed. That night, just over two minutes into the game he scored a goal. He immediately looked up, finding you in the crowd quickly since you tended to sit in the same place, and winked at you. You knew it was his way of gloating in the couple seconds he had available to do so, and you rolled your eyes at him but couldn't contain your smile.
After that it became a thing. If there was something Dean wanted from you -- something he wanted help with or something he wanted to do that he knew you'd enjoy but you were a little hesitant about (like going to homecoming with him) -- he'd use the "if I score a goal in under three minutes" challenge as a way to get it.
After a while, it evolved into more of a silly game. It became an almost every game occurrence. He still brought up big things once in a while -- "if I score in under three minutes tonight, you have to go talk to that cute guy from the library you won't shut up about" -- but it was mostly little stuff. "If I score in under three minutes tonight, I get to pick the movie we watch this weekend; If I score in under three minutes tonight, you're buying me a pizza; If I score in under three minutes tonight, you have to come with me to the show my friend and his horrible band are putting on. If I have to suffer through it, so do you."
You suspected that he liked the challenge of it, that he wanted to give himself a reason to really work hard. While he definitely wasn't managing to score in time every night, he managed it enough to gain a reputation for himself as an early game scorer. "Watch out for Winchester in those first few minutes of the game," you'd heard people say. "If he gets anywhere near your goal, he will score."
Just like the first time, if he won the challenge, he would find you in the stands and wink at you. In the college years, this led to the more intense fans -- particularly the young women who knew what he looked like beneath the helmet -- to speculate who he might be winking at and why. In the last couple years with the Hunters, it led to even more teasing from the guys about you being Winchester's girl.
It has been a brutal game against the Hunters' biggest rival the Leviathans. More fights have broken out than you've seen in probably the last three or four games combined. One of the Leviathans' defenders broke his wrist in the first period. The score has been neck and neck, neither team able to gain a lasting advantage over the other. There is about a minute and a half left in the game when Dean scores a goal, putting the Hunters two points ahead, the biggest gap of the whole game. The crowd cheers, none of them louder than you, you're sure.
It happens in the middle of the next play. One second Dean is flying down the ice, all fire and determination. The next, there's a collision of bodies. You don't think anything of it. It happens all the time. Until three of the bodies pull back and the fourth is left lying on the ice. You can't do anything but stare as the big black 67 of Dean's jersey stares back. Fear holds you prisoner and you can't move, watching helplessly as the coach steps onto the ice, followed soon after by an EMT. He manages to find his feet and is escorted slowly off the ice. You're on your feet in an instant, heading for the locker room where you know he'll be looked at.
You pace back and forth outside the locker room, not daring to actually go in. You know you're not allowed. So you pace, biting your fingernails as you listen to the final moments of the game and wait for some sort of news on Dean. The buzzer sounds, signaling the end of the game, and you know it's only a matter of time before the rest of the team is here. Maybe then you'll get some answers.
"What are you doing back here?" A hard voice demands. You look over to see the Leviathans' coach staring you down. He must have been passing by on the way to the other locker room. "You shouldn't be here," he says, not giving you time to answer.
"I know, but-"
"Get out of here," he demands. You know he's doing the right thing. He's probably dealt with overzealous fans before that wait for players outside the locker rooms and is only defending the privacy of the opposing team. But you don't appreciate his tone, especially given the circumstances.
"She's fine," a second voice says before you can answer. You look over the coach's shoulder to see Cas standing there, the rest of the team behind him. None of them look happy.
"Novak," the coach says. "I was just trying to make sure you weren't bothered. Fans shouldn't be back here."
"You're right, they shouldn't," Benny agrees. "But that's Winchester's girl. If she wants to be here, she has every right." The nickname that at first made you blush and now makes you roll your eyes never sounded so good. It's like a badge of honor. In a way, the team sees you as family. They will defend you and let people know you belong here with them. With Dean. The coach backs off.
"Just tell me how he is," you ask, turning to Benny and Cas with pleading eyes. Of course they don't have any more idea than you do, but you just want them to go in, assess the situation, and come back to tell you what's going on.
"Why don't you go find out for yourself?" Benny answers. You look at him in surprise. "I can't go in there," you tell him.
"Sure you can," Kevin disagrees. "Nobody's undressed in there. You can be in and out before we've got our pads off." You wait for only a second to see if anyone will protest and when they don't, you rush inside. Your eyes zero in on Dean immediately, sitting on a bench and talking with the EMT, who turns his head at the sound of the door opening. A look of surprise crosses his face and he stands up. "Young lady, you can't-"
"Yes she can," Dean cuts him off. His eyes are looking slightly unfocused, but they are fixed on you. You hear the rest of the team file in behind you as you make your way over to Dean, slowly, like you're afraid he'll break if you move too fast. You look him over as you move. His helmet, gloves, and skates are off. He looks ok, except for the eyes. "What happened?" You ask, sitting carefully beside him. "Are you ok?"
"That depends," he responds. Fear fills you again. Is the injury that bad? "Depends on what?" You ask. On if he has surgery to fix it? On if he never plays hockey again? The horrible possibilities flood your mind.
"Did we win?" He asks. You're too stunned to answer. You replay his question in your head a few times, sure you must have misheard him. "Are you serious?" You finally ask.
"Yes, I'm serious," he responds. "Did we win?"
You let out a frustrated breath. "You were up by two with barely more than a minute left. Of course you won," you answer. "Then I'm fine," he says. You feel like you could smack him. Why must he be so difficult? Why couldn't he just answer your question.
"Dean. What happened?" You demand. You can hear the edge in your voice.
"It's just a minor concussion. It was nothing. I'll be fine," he says dismissively.
"It was not nothing," you argue.
"It's hockey," he answers, as if that is explanation enough. "People get hurt. You should be used to that by now."
Sure, you've seen lots of players injured throughout the years. You've even seen Dean injured. But it was always something minor. Bumps and bruises, a sprained wrist, a broken nose one time. It wasn't the same. "I should be used to seeing you laying flat out on the ice and not moving?" You demand. Something in your voice alerts him to the fact that you're done with the joking and avoiding.
He sighs. "What do you want from me here, sweetheart? It's over and I'm fine. There's nothing more to do about it."
His question catches you off guard. What do you want from him? For him to never play hockey again? No. That wouldn't ensure he was never hurt again, and he loves it too much. There are many reasons you could never ask that of him, not the least of which being you have no right to ask. Do you want him to assure you that he's alright? Because he's already done that. So, what then? If you're being honest with yourself, what you really want is to hold onto him for a while, and for him to hold you back while your brain works on accepting the fact that he really is ok. But you can't ask that.
Instead, you agree with him. "You're right. I'm sorry. You just really scared me out there."
"I'm sorry you were so scared," he says sincerely. "But I promise, I really am ok."
"I know," you say with a forced smile. You give his hand a squeeze before leaving the room, giving the rest of the guys the privacy they've been patiently waiting for.
It's a couple weeks after the concussion incident. Things between you and Dean have been the same as usual, except they haven't been. Not really. You can't pinpoint what it is that's different, but there's definitely something. It's New Year's Eve. You're at a party with Dean and a bunch of guys from the team. Dean has been at your side all night. You wouldn't go as far as calling it weird, but... it's definitely not usual. You've attended a lot of parties together and while you make a point of knowing where the other person is and even spending a fair amount of time together, you do usually hang out with other people too. Not that you're not hanging out with anyone else. It's just that apparently you're staying together while doing it. Not that you're complaining.
The midnight countdown is fast approaching. You're not currently dating anyone so you've resigned yourself to not having a midnight kiss this year. You don't mind. You don't really see it as the big deal a lot of people seem to. You think to yourself that Dean better find someone very quick if he plans on kissing someone though. For some reason, that thought doesn't sit quite right with you. You're not sure why. You've never cared before who Dean kissed.
The countdown starts. You watch the people around you as they scurry to be near their partners. The count reaches two and you turn to Dean, preparing to clink your beers together in celebration. The count reaches one and Dean's free hand goes to rest on your cheek as he leans in and presses his lips to yours. When he pulls away, it leaves you breathless. The room explodes into cheers and the clinking of bottles and glasses.
"Why'd you do that?" You ask, ignoring the celebration going on around you.
"Should I not have?" He asks. It's a mild question, but there's a challenge in it. As if he's daring you. But daring you to do what?
"No, it's not- I didn't say that." You're not sure what he was hoping you'd say, but this is clearly at the very least not the wrong response. He waits for you to continue. "It's just... we've both been single on New Year's Eve before. You've never kissed me."
"It's never been right before," he shrugs. He sees your confusion and explains. "You and me, I think we've been heading in this direction for a long time. And I think everyone but us could see it. It's why the guys tease us so much. It's why there's a bunch of hockey obsessed girls out there who are insanely jealous of you even though up until now there hasn't been anything to be jealous of. I think it's why all of my girlfriends haven't liked you very much and your boyfriends have hated me."
"I wouldn't say they hated you," you protest. You're not sure why. It's probably the nerves at the implications of what he's saying. It makes you feel better to say something, unhelpful as it may be. He just gives you a look before continuing.
"I don't know if we honestly didn't know we felt this way or were just lying to ourselves about it. But you can't tell me things haven't been different between us lately. I know it's not just me." Was he right? Was that the change you've been noticing? You're not sure if you would have come to this conclusion on your own. After all, this was Dean. Steady, reliable, Dean who you've never seen as more than a friend. But now that the possibility has been brought up, now that he's kissed you, you can't deny what you're feeling.
"Things have been different," you admit. "I just..." How to finish that sentence. You just what? Never saw Dean in that way? Not untrue, but what was the point in bringing it up? Objectively you've always been able to clearly see why other girls fought tooth and nail for his attention. And now that you are looking at him that way, it is a pointless statement. You weren't expecting it? Also true, but obvious enough without having to say it.
Dean is usually good about letting you sort through your thoughts at times like this, but today he doesn't have the patience. "You just what?" He prompts. "Didn't expect the night to go like this?"
"Well no, I didn't. But that's not what I was going to say."
"Then what?"
"I don't know," you sigh, frustrated at your inability to find the words you want. You start speaking without really thinking, and thankfully the right words come to you. "I guess I just didn't realize why things were different. I noticed it, but I couldn't figure out what it was."
"And now that you know?"
You give him a little mischievous smile, feeling more confident after having some time to process. "Being just friends was getting a little boring anyway. Too predictable. I think it's about time we change things up."
Dean grins back and it lights up his face. You nearly catch your breath at the sight. Having your eyes opened to your feelings is like peeling a film off your eyes that you've lived with your entire life without knowing it's there. It's like seeing him for the first time, and he is the most stunning man you've ever seen. "Alright," he says. "Let's change it up then. If I score in under three minutes at the next game, you have to go on a date with me. Maybe you even have to kiss me."
You stop your jaw from literally dropping open, but you know he can read the look of disbelief on your face. "Your next game isn't for four days." You point out. "You're really going to make me wait that long?"
He shrugs, but you can see the teasing glint in his eye. He's all talk. "We've waited for ten years. I don't see what another few days could hurt."
"Screw that," you say. You set your beer on the table next to you and throw your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you. His hands settle automatically on the small of your back, arms around your waist, and you can feel his smile as he kisses you. You can't help but to smile back.
You're soon interrupted by a shouted, "Hey, Winchester finally got his girl!" from a drunken Benny, followed by whistles and catcalls from the rest of his teammates. You can't fight the heat that rises to your cheeks, but you sit through the ensuing teasing and congratulations as patiently as you can. Thankfully it's short lived as there's more exciting things happening -- it is a party after all -- and Dean's arm around your waist certainly helps calm your nerves.
"Don't be embarrassed," Dean says, knowing you've never been one for PDA. "You know they don't care." You aren't so embarrassed that you won't get over it in a minute or two, but you appreciate his attempts to calm you nonetheless. "And look on the bright side," he adds, brightening at whatever he's thinking. "At least now we're all on the same page the next time they call you my girl."
You smile. He's right. 'Winchester's girl' has a whole new ring to it now. It might have taken us a while to catch up, but they were right. You are, and always were, Dean's girl.
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Secondary note: I realize I switch tenses halfway through this. I don't really feel like fixing it though. Also, I've tried to at least keep the present tense section all present tense, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm switching back and forth. I usually write in past tense and found myself reverting back to it without realizing multiple times. I've reread it to try and catch anything, but it's late and I'm tired, so I probably missed some. I'll probably read this over again sometime in the next day or two to find any errors, but I wanted to get it posted. Hope you enjoyed!
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@123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28
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