#but I don't see what wrong with having a little variety!
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I have been informed by a mutual aid that you are a henghill enjoyer. You've single-handedly gotten me to care about Gepard and I would love to hear your thoughts on Cowborg Menace x Dragon That Can't Catch a Break
Aaaaaaaa I'm really flattered!! I have also been informed by a mutual aid that you have good taste (read: rvb enjoyer) and I need you to know that part of the reason I treat Gepard the way I do, like messing with him constantly, is because he makes me think of Wash. Poor dude was doomed the moment I got my grubby little mitts on him sksjkskdjd
But anyway yes, henghill! They really got me by the throat out of nowhere in 2.2. They're just. Surprisingly sweet?
The two of them get along very well, they see eye to eye on a lot of matters and have some similar mannerisms, they can hold long conversations together, and they have a shockingly swift understanding of the other in a very small amount of time! Platonically or romantically, there's a lot to dig into there. ♡
And I do mean a lot this basically ended up becoming a big long ship manifesto I'm so sorry zmjzznkdjd
Like first of all they're both fucking nerds over each other. Boothill's adoration for the Xianzhou alliance is already well-documented in his About Dan Heng voice line, and is appropriately pointed out in the fandom as sounding gay as all hell.
We know what you are, Boothill.
But then! He further cements it by trying to use Xianzhou sayings in front of Dan Heng haha
Not only that, but Boothill was able to recognize the Jade Abacus of Allying Oath for what it was like immediately, and instantly took it as proof of Dan Heng's identity as a Nameless. The validation of the Xianzhou is clearly a huge deal to him.
And Dan Heng plays it cool but like. I don't think he's actually much better JFKLASJDKL
The in-game Data Bank, which is supposed to be written and maintained by Dan Heng himself, has a pretty positive glowing review of the Galaxy Rangers.
And I feel the need to point out that like. The Galaxy Rangers are essentially a vigilante justice group..."group" being a pretty loose term, there isn't a whole lot of organization in there. Not everyone has a very good view of them because they're outlaws and there's a pretty wide and wild variety of individuals in the mix there, Boothill even confirms it as such.
And that archive entry is a hilariously stark contrast to the one for the Masked Fools, who Dan Heng does NOT seem to respect. So you can tell he puts a lot of his own opinion into the data and you can really see where his preferences lie KFDLAJFKLD
He does let his fanboy slip when Boothill first announces himself as a Galaxy Ranger though, just a little bit haha:
They're like the equivalent of when your favorite big name fandom person follows you back, you feel me fjkdjasflkdjskal
Which. I feel like it does make sense that he would really idolize the Galaxy Rangers and see them as heroes. Dan Heng is someone who was a victim of centuries of wrongful imprisonment and political power plays, and it would have been way worse had Jing Yuan not gone above the preceptors to protect him. He is someone that the system failed, and horrifically so. Of course he would like the idea of righteous heroes who stand for justice and travel the cosmos freely to help people.
And as @hydrachea, CEO of Dan Heng Enterprises and Super Genius with Giant Wrinkly Brain pointed out, this background DOES lay the foundation for Dan Heng to relate to Boothill a lot. You see this displayed beautifully in his Keeping Up With Star Rail video, where Dan Heng gets really protective of him, I adored it so so much. ♡
In it, Dan Heng not only comments that he originally came because he thought he was giving a presentation on how to be friendly with Boothill, but every time the IPC tries to paint him as some violent dangerous ruthless criminal, Dan Heng speaks up to explain his way of thinking and to defend him. It was really sweet!
And Dan Heng is protective of people anyway. He serves as the Guard of the Astral Express for a reason. He had nothing and no one before Himeko took him in, and now that he's found companions to love he is viciously defensive of them. You see it in the way he guards March 7th during fights on Jarilo-IV, in how he goes out of his way to bring important info to the trailblazer, in how he left the safety of the Express and infiltrated the Luofu because he was terrified he was going to lose them. But there's maybe a little extra layer of Understanding in the way he so persistently speaks up in Boothill's defense.
And I'm sure that this is a part of him that Boothill really admires, too, because Dan Heng also displays these instincts in Penacony. He makes the decision not just once, but twice, to use the Jade Abacus to save the Express Crew. And we know from Boothill's earlier reaction to it that like. The Jade Abacus is a Big Fuckin' Deal. It is something of immense value. Even with everything that's at stake, Boothill urges him to really make sure he wants to use it.
And this was something that really got me in the heart later, because! In Ena's Dream, Dan Heng once again decides to use the Jade Abacus, and. I'm not quite sure I can effectively put it in words, but there is something just so so sweet in the way that Boothill tells him no, Dan Heng should keep it. This is a get out of jail free card that could save his life down the line, he wants him to have it in case he finds himself in danger again later.
It really gives the feeling that Boothill actually wanted Dan Heng to not have to rely on this before, but there was no other way at the time. But now there IS something Boothill can do about it, and he wants to do something about it. A sorta-kinda "let me protect you this time"-ish feeling. If that makes any sense. He doesn't want Dan Heng to have to make that sacrifice.
Because I think Boothill would consider that a really admirable and respectable action, especially given his background. The IPC eradicated his homeplanet. He lost his parents, his siblings, his daughter, his home all in one fell swoop, and he has been on a fully dedicated revenge quest ever since. How could he not be a little awed by someone willing to give so much to protect his home and his family?
I think it's something the two of them understand in each other, because as it shows in the dialogue the first time Dan Heng decided to use the Jade Abacus, Boothill caught on immediately. He already knew what Dan Heng was planning before he even said so. And it's not even the first time he does that! Even as early as their initial entrance into the Reverie, Boothill is able to tell when Dan Heng is stressed, why he's stressed, and he backs off and gives him space without any fuss.
And it works! After the Express Crew are safe, they go from Dan Heng correcting him to more just kind of going with Boothill's flow, and I feel like this is a much better basis for their interactions.
Also I'm crying about Dan Heng blabbing that the trailblazer is a vessel of a Stellaron, gossipy little dragon fjdkasjfdklsaj
Like the two of them just GET each other! And so quickly and easily! It's ridiculous! Dan Heng is able to explain the methods behind Boothill's madness. Boothill is able to read Dan Heng like a book. They both had the same reaction to learning Acheron was a Self-Annihilator. They both really believe it's just fine and normal to have a weapon out if you don't trust someone yet- Boothill pulled his gun on Acheron the second he saw her, Dan Heng got his spear out and poked Sampo the first time he met him (valid). And they both act Like That because they're similar flavors of wary and cautious. They had to prove their identities to each other when they first met before either of them could relax.
They're both frank, and blunt, and will openly call shit out or question it when they see fit. They both believe in answering the call to action, and share a lot of their ideologies of The Hunt, like upholding justice and saving the innocent and protecting the weak. Boothill lives to fuck over the IPC and keep them from colonizing more planets like his, Dan Heng didn't even consider his own wants and asked to go to Edo Star to help the population there. They take their creeds seriously, and dedicate themselves to them, enough to be offended by imposters. Dan Heng dislikes Boothill claiming to be a Nameless, Boothill was literally hunting down Acheron for parading around as a Galaxy Ranger.
And all throughout 2.2, Boothill displays an immense knowledge of Paths and Aeons and even Emanators, and Dan Heng is a huge nerd an archiver and a collector of knowledge. The conversations these two could have!! They've both been to a lot of places and seen a lot of things, and I think Dan Heng especially would love listening to Boothill's stories and then adding them to the data bank. They can probably relate on rough travel, too- Boothill refers to the Astral Express as "bunkin' in luxury" and Pom-Pom once said Dan Heng was "used to sleeping on the rope." When March 7th takes the trailblazer to look for Dan Heng, she even phrases this as though he and Boothill have been talking together for quite a while!
Hell, even when they awaken in Ena's Dream, they arrive together:
They were together for almost the entirety of 2.2; literally the very first scene of it was their introduction. They only truly separated when Dan Heng went to help in the fight with The Great Septimus and Boothill to gather the Rangers (and then go shoot Aventurine full of holes fjkdlsajd) but! I'm really hoping we'll get to see more of them together in 2.3! They were a really cool duo, and it was so fun to watch them all through this update, I really want to see more of them now and explore their relationship dynamic more! ♡
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#dan heng#boothill#hsr#I know they're probably going to be like how Dan Heng and Luocha never interacted after the Luofu main quests but LET ME BELIEVE#I'm just a sucker for ships where they quickly get each other. all the more if they're largely regarded as difficult people by others uweh#(Dan Heng is called cold and reticent and Boothill is a wanted felon fjdlksajflkdas)#this got way longer than I meant it to. thank god I take so many screenshots. I basically have all of 2.2 in stills jfdksjdkl#and I edited and sorted through a lot of them plus all the writing so this had better convince at least one person dammit!!#henghill is one of those ships I can really enjoy platonic or romantic they're just very sweet either way
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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I’ll be honest, when one party’s aiding and abetting the genocide and the other’s outright gonna kill all my friends, I don’t really care if the fascists “win”. They’ve won already.
You know who would be delighted to hear that? Trump and Putin. The US far right and the Russian government have poured lots of time, effort, and money over the last decade+ into convincing US leftists and liberals that things are hopeless, there's no point in even trying to make things better, and the Democrats and Republicans are functionally interchangeable. They do this because one of the easiest ways for them to win is if the left gives up and stops trying. Every person on the left they can convince to give up in despair brings them closer to complete control. Defeatism on the left actively supports victory on the right.
I think your statement is wrong on a number of levels, both factual and emotional. It comes from not understanding what the actual options are for the US government and the President specifically, either at home or abroad. And it will allow actual fascism to flourish and make the world far worse than it is now.
On an emotional level, the way to address this is to stop doomscrolling. Stop focusing on the worst things happening in the world. Don't ignore them! but don't let them consume you. Start looking for the things that are going well. Find places in your community that you can get involved in making things better. Even if it's only on a small scale like volunteering in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, it will help you realize that you aren't helpless, that there are things that can be done to make the world a better place. Stay informed about things on a local, national, and international level, but limit how much time and attention you give to things that depress you that you can't affect. Instead of sitting there thinking about all the ways the world sucks and how awful things are, look for things you can do that are productive, and then do them. You'll feel better and you will have made your corner of the world a little better. And you will be a lot less likely to unintentionally fall into the despair, nihilism, and passivity that the fascists want you to be consumed by.
Always remember that the worlds problems are not resting solely on your shoulders, or solely on America's shoulders, and neither is the hope of fixing them. Everyone has things that we can do to make the world a better place, but there are also things that are beyond our control. We can control what we do; we cannot control what others do. We can and should try to make the world a better place, but focusing on the things we can't change has no positive benefits. Focusing on things we can't change accomplishes two things: it makes you feel bad, and it stops you from doing the things you actually can do to make things better. Neither of these things is good for you or anyone else. Look for things you can do and do them. Keep informed on the things you can't change, but don't focus on them.
On a factual level, let's look at "aiding and abetting genocide," shall we?
First, it's important to remember that the US President is not the God-Emperor Of The World. The US government has limits to what it can and can't do in other countries, and both legally and practically. If the US wants to intervene in a problem in another country, there are a variety of things we can do that boil down to basically four categories. It's a lot more complex than this in practice, of course, but in general here are the categories of things we can do:
Send in the troops. Invade, either by ourselves or as part of a NATO or UN operation. (Or maybe just send in a CIA wetworks team to assassinate the head of state.) I hope you can see the moral problems with this option, and also, we've done this a shitton of times over the course of the 20th Century and pretty much every time we've done it, we've made an already awful situation worse. On a moral level, it's pretty bad, and on a practical level, it's worse. Sure, we could stop the immediate problem, but what then? Consider Afghanistan and Iraq. We got rid of Saddam Hussein and the Taliban, and everything went to shit, we spent twenty years occupying Afghanistan with pretty much nothing to show for it. (The Taliban is back in control of Afghanistan.) Things were worse when we left than when we arrived. So this option is pretty much off the table (or should be).
Diplomatic pressure. Now, the thing is, they're a sovereign nation, they don't have to listen to us if they don't want to. We have a lot of things we can leverage--including financial aid--but the only way to force them to do what we want is to invade and conquer, and that only works temporarily. Since we can't force, we have to persuade. This requires us to maintain our existing relationship with the country in question, and possibly strengthen it, because that relationship is what we're leveraging to try and influence them to do what we want them to do. If we do not maintain our relationship, they have no reason to listen to us.
Cut ties and go home. Break off any existing relationship and support, loudly proclaim that they're awful and doing awful things and we wash our hands of the whole situation. This keeps our own hands lily-white and pure, but it also means we have zero leverage to work on any kind of a diplomatic solution. They have no reason to listen to us or care about what we think. We can pat ourselves on the back for doing the right thing, but we destroy our own ability to influence anything. Not just now, but also in the future. Let's say the current crisis ends, and then ten years later there's another crisis. If we want to have any effect then, we would have to start from square one to start building a relationship. Cutting ties would be great for making Americans feel better about ourselves, and there are times when it's the only option, but it should be a last resort. If there is any hope of being able to influence things for the better this will destroy it at least temporarily.
Cut ties and impose sanctions. Break off any existing relationship and support, loudly proclaim that they're awful and doing awful things, but also use the might of the American economy to isolate and punish them. We've done this a lot over the 20th Century, too, and it has never actually resulted in the country in question buckling down and toeing the line we want them to. What happens is the sanctioned country has an economic shock (how long it lasts and how bad it gets depends on a lot of factors) and then pulls themselves back together economically, except this time they're more self-sufficient and less reliant on international trade and financial networks. They tell themselves that America is evil and the cause of all their problems, and so not only do they not listen to us, they actively hate us. And they have fewer international relationships, so fewer reasons to care about what the international community thinks about them. So they're most likely to double down on whatever it is they're doing that we don't like. This one is completely counterproductive and utterly stupid. It's great for making Americans feel better about ourselves, but if we actually care about being able to use our influence for good (or, at least, to mitigate evil) this option shoots us in the foot. It encourages other nations to do the very thing we're trying to stop them from doing.
So, with those four options in mind, both option one (invasion/assassination) and option four (sanctions) are off the table for being immoral and counterproductive. That leaves "breaking our relationship and going home" and "using diplomatic pressure" as our only two viable options.
Biden has chosen option two, diplomatic pressure. Yes, he and our government have continued financial support for Israel ... but with strings attached. They have put limits on it that have never been put on any US foreign aid before. They have taken legal steps to lay the groundwork to target Israeli settlers (i.e. Israeli citizens who confiscate Palestinian homes and businesses). We've been hearing reports for months that Benjamin Netanyahu (Israeli Prime Minister, and a far-right-wing demagogue) hates Biden's guts, because Biden is pressuring him to stop the genocide and work towards peace. Biden is maintaining the relationship, and he's using that relationship to try and influence things to curb the violence and pave the way for a just peace settlement of some sort. Biden has also mentioned the possibility of a two state solution where Palestine becomes its own completely separate country. That's huge, because up until this point the US position has always been that Israel is the only possible legitimate nation in that territory. If Biden stopped US support for Israel, it wouldn't force Israel to stop what it's doing ... but it would let them ignore us. It would remove any leverage or influence we might have.
Biden's hands aren't clean. But the only way for them to be clean would be to also give up any chance of influencing the situation or working to protect Palestinians now or in the future. Only time will tell if it works, but I personally would rather have someone who tried and failed than someone who didn't even try. You might disagree about whether this is the right course of action, and there's a lot of room for honest disagreement about the issue (there's a lot of nuances that I'm glossing over or ignoring). But please do acknowledge that Biden isn't supporting Israel because he supports genocide; he's doing it so that he can continue to maintain diplomatic pressure on Israel to stop the violence.
Which brings us back to "aiding and abetting genocide." Trump is not like Biden. Trump is good friends with Netanyahu and backs Israel to the hilt. Trump thinks that all Arabs are terrorists (and all Muslims are terrorists) and genuinely believes the world would be a better place with them dead. Biden is continuing to support Israel, but using that support as influence to get them to stop or slow down. Trump would be using that influence to encourage them.
And those are the two choices. Someone who is trying to curb the genocide, and someone who actively supports it.
I really hope you can see the significant and substantial difference between those two positions.
But let's say that you're right and Biden's policy towards Israel and Palestine is every bit as bad as Trump's would be. If there was nothing to choose between them on foreign policy grounds, there would still be a shitton to choose between them on domestic policy grounds. You admit that the right wants to kill your friends, and yet you don't seem to think that stopping them from killing your friends might be a good thing to do.
"We can't save Palestinians, so we might as well let Republicans destroy the rights, lives, and futures of LGBTQ+ people, women, people of color, people with disabilities, poor people, non-Christians, and anyone else they don't like." "We can't save Palestinians, so why bother to try to save the people we might actually be able to save." "We can't save Palestinians right now, so there's no point in trying to build up a longer-term political bloc that might drag US politics to the left over the long run."
Do you get why there's a problem with that line of thought?
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Who Do You Think I Am
This is my newest Eddie x Reader x Buck imagine, I hope you will all like it. Let me know what you think.
Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread@musicistheway@avada-kedavra-bitch-187@luula@missdreamofendless@bradleybeachbabe@woderfulkawaii@amberpanda99@daggersquadphantom@marvel-and-chicago-fan@angryknightstatesmantrash@minjix@lyjen@kmc1989@itsmytimetoodream@noonenuts@hiireadstuff@ashie-babie@classyunknownlover@jayyeahthatsme@sp1ritssz@dumb-fawkin-bitch@oliverstarksbae@gimatida@heart-35@supernaturalstilinski@stefansalvatoresgf@kyky9103@wutheringhearts2275@gay4hotmilfs@itshamleth@chaoticnosleepinfluencer@gs29@wh0reforsmutstuff@mel-vaz@natashamea18@chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena@targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19@marvelmenarebeautiful@gillybear17 @zoeybennett
Eddie Diaz Masterlist
Evan Buckley Masterlist
Summary: When one of their kids isn't well, Buck goes to collect her from nursery and the 118 come to make sure she's okay. And there are more than a few choice words for the nursery staff about how they've acted.
Enjoy.
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"Are you going now?"
Glancing over her shoulder, (Y/n) scanned her eyes up and down Eddie's frame while her teeth sank down on her lower lip. He was wearing his work uniform, he didn't usually get dressed at home. He got changed into his gear once he got to the station, he must either be in a hurry or he'd brought his uniform home to wash it the other day.
Her arm tightened around the toddler sat on her hip who was cuddled up into her chest like some sort of baby monkey.
"Yeah or I'll be late. You still want me to pick you up tonight?" Eddie finished pouring the coffee in his travel mug and screwed it on tight before he looked over at (Y/n).
"Yeah- baby can you take a look at her before you leave, please?" Her arm bounced Ellie on her hip and her eyes travelled from the toddler back to Eddie.
She watched the way he glanced at the kitchen clock before he sucked in a deep breath and nodded. It would have to be quick, he was running out of time and he really didn't want to be late for the change from A to B shift.
He set his mug down near his keys and walked round the kitchen island, reaching his hands out for their youngest. Ellie was curled into (Y/n), her chest tucked into her mother's chest with her arms bound tight around the teddy in her arms. Her eyes were barely open from how tired she looked and she didn't even smile when Eddie stood in front of her.
He gently lifted her from (Y/n)'s arms, causing the two year old to grumble as Eddie sat her down on the counter and crouched down to be level with her.
"What's wrong?" He directed his question at (Y/n) while he pressed his hand against Ellie's temple, noticing she was a little warm but nothing to indicate a temperature or a fever.
"She's coughing a lot and she, I don't know, she doesn't seem herself." (Y/n) didn't want to worry.
They had done enough worrying over Ellie from the moment she was born three months premature. The first two and a half months of her life she had spent in the neonatal unit at the hospital and ever since they got her home, Ellie had been a happy but sick baby. She picked up any illness or infection going round. She held onto infections longer than usual and they wore her down.
She had been on a variety of antibiotics and she was only two years old.
(Y/n) didn't want to worry but she couldn't help it and she didn't want to send Ellie to nursery if she was coming down with something. If Ellie picked up a bad infection, they had to keep her home and get the doctor's advice on medicines. When one of the kids in Chris's class got the measles, they had to bring Chris home and isolate all the kids at home so none of them got it and passed it onto Ellie.
"Baby girl, let me look." Eddie pressed his finger to Ellie's lips until she opened her mouth. He then felt her throat and listened to her breathing.
(Y/n) could see the debate in his eyes. He didn't know whether sending her to nursery was such a good idea or not.
"Send her. If she was really bad she'd of been crying by now, and it's Buck's day off. If she feels worse he can bring her home."
"Okay."
Today wasn't such a bad day for childcare. Considering they had four kids in the house, the three of them did well to work around childcare. And it was Evan's day off today. If Ellie was coughing up a storm or had a fever, they wouldn't have to cancel shifts, Evan was here to care for her.
But they may as well send her since she wasn't complaining and if Ellie was very ill, she would of been crying and begging to stay home. It was worth getting her into the routine of nursery since she had only just started going two months ago and she was there three days a week.
If she felt worse, Evan could go get her, no problems.
"Alright, I love you both and I'll see you tonight." Eddie pressed a sloppy kiss to Ellie's cheek and lifted her up, gently settling her back down in (Y/n)'s arms.
He pressed his hand to (Y/n)'s chin and tilted her head up to meet his so he could steal a kiss from her lips. He bit down on her lip before he pulled back and he murmured a soft "Thank you," when (Y/n) handed him a slice of toast. She knew he hadn't eaten yet and wasn't likely to if he was going to walk right into a busy shift.
He headed out the kitchen, grabbing his flask on the way, and made a beeline for the hall that looked as packed and cramped as a school hallway.
His eyes trailed over his troop, smiling down at them as they were all getting ready. Chris was sat near the front door, tying up his shoes with his bag perched next to him. Lola was leaning back against the wall with one foot up on Evan's thigh so he could tie her shoelace for her since she couldn't do it herself yet.
And Maria was stood to one side with her backpack on and her hair in two pigtails so she could twist her head from side to side and have her hair bash against her cheeks. It was her way of stimming.
"Who's driving us?" Maria looked between both dads with a smile. She could tell that since Eddie was wearing his uniform, he was going to work whereas Evan was dressed casual. He was wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt, and when she looked and saw her mum walking through, she could tell her mum was also going to work.
"I'm driving, and we're dropping mummy off at work today too." Evan patted Lola's leg as a sign that he was finished so she could stand on both feet again.
He had been at work until eleven o'clock last night but his silver lining was he had the next two days off. So he had the house to himself until he went to get Ellie from nursery, then he would pick up the rest of the kids and have the evening with them until Eddie and (Y/n) came home.
"Alright troop, I gotta go." Eddie grabbed his keys before he turned to the closest child, who happened to be Maria. He kissed her cheek, then moved to Lola, then finally Chris, giving them each a kiss and whispering a quiet 'love you' to them all.
He finally turned to face Evan who had his own keys swirling around on his thumb and his hand in his back pocket somewhat casually. He brushed his thumb across the side of Evan's neck and reeled him in for a kiss before he weaved around Chris to get to the door.
"Everyone be good for pops."
Eddie left the door open behind him for the rest of them to head out and get in 'the bus' as the kids always referred to it. Since they had a family of seven, they had what was effectively a mini-bus, something (Y/n) hated to drive but what was child's play for Evan and Eddie. Considering they could manage driving the trucks at work.
Both Chris and Lola followed after Evan and when he opened the back door, they climbed up and went right to the far back. There were two rows of three-seats in the back, and then two up in the front. Plus two seats in the boot that could fold up or pull out so they could effectively fit ten people in the car.
They strapped themselves in while Evan picked Maria up and clipped her in, and (Y/n) moved round to the other car seat to get Ellie strapped in. (Y/n) pursed her lips and sighed when Ellie didn't say anything.
The toddler wasn't always loud, but she usually babbled quite a lot and today she had barely spoken a word. She just closed her eyes and coughed quietly into her teddy.
"All good?" Evan looked over at (Y/n) when the pair of them climbed in the front.
"I don't think Ellie's very well… can you be on standby, if she seems unwell at nursery?"
Evan took a glance in the rear-view mirror as he began to drive. Ellie didn't look unwell, but she didn't look herself either. He turned the radio up to see if the music might liven her up. All the kids loved to sing, whether it was early in the morning or late into the night. The only time they didn't sing was when they were sick.
"Yeah, course I will."
(Y/n) nodded and managed a smile when Evan reached across and curved his hand around her thigh. When she was at work, she couldn't always answer her phone and both the school and nursery always seemed to ring (Y/n) first before they rang the boys. They even rang her regarding Chris because he thought of her as his mum and Eddie had added her and Evan to Chris's school record.
But she knew Evan would tell the nursery to ring him today, he was the only one with a day off who would be able to answer his phone straight away.
When he pulled up on the curb, (Y/n) leaned across and stole a few kisses from his lips before she looked in the back. "Alright, have a good day, I love you all." She blew a few kisses towards them before she hopped out, her work was first on the journey. Then the school, then the nursery on the way back because the older kids had to be at school before Ellie technically needed to turn up to nursery.
It didn't take long for Evan to arrive at the school and he got as close as he could to the gates.
He opened the back door and unclipped Maria first since she was the closest to him. He picked her up and set her down on her feet, helping her hook her arms through her bag straps while Lola hopped out, followed by Chris who bashed his crutches into the back of Evan's leg as he got out.
"It'll be me picking you all up today. Have fun and be good please."
"Bye papa."
"Bye baby, love you." Evan kissed the top of Lola's head and did the same to Chris, following them a few feet up the path until they were at the gates. But he looked down to his left when Maria pulled on his hand and started to sway back and forth on her heels.
"You love me too, papa?"
"You know I love you, sweetheart. Go on, good girl." He kissed her cheek and gave her a little nudge, waving and watching until they all got safely to the doors before he headed back to the car.
He opened the other back door and poked his head round to check on Ellie. He had been busy getting the girls up and sorted this morning while (Y/n) saw to Ellie, so he didn't know if she had been complaining she felt ill or if (Y/n) just noticed something was off.
"How's my baby, hm?" He leaned in the back and kissed her forehead which was a little warm. And his heart swelled when he got a smile out of her.
It was habit that all three of them referred to Ellie as the baby, even though she was now two years old. She was their youngest, and since she had been born premature, they were used to friends and family constantly asking 'how's the baby?' As everyone had been worried she wouldn't make it. And with all the infections and rough illnesses she picked up, she worried them even more.
"We go bed, papa?" She snuggled her face down into her teddy and smiled brightly when Evan started peppering her face with kisses.
"Hm, maybe later. You're going to nursery this morning, but I'll pick you up and you can spend the afternoon with me, how's that sound?"
He could see it in her eyes that she didn't want to go, but she didn't have the energy or the will to argue either. Ellie had grown up thus far being ill and constantly being cared and doted on by one of her three parents. Going to nursery was a change she wasn't too keen on. She didn't like being parted from any parent, but they were slowly getting her used to it.
It was hard on all three of them too because they were constantly worrying about Ellie and wondering if she was alright.
With a lasting kiss to her cheek, Evan closed the door and got back in the driver's seat. He turned the radio up a little more, but he felt his heart quicken when Ellie didn't sing or babble or even laugh. She only coughed and gave the occasional, cute sneeze.
Evan had a feeling she wouldn't last the whole day, something in his gut just told thim that he would be picking her up early.
Nursery didn't last as long as the school hours. The plan was usually for Evan to pick Ellie up first, take her for a drive or a walk somewhere, just the two of them. Then he would go get the other kids when they finished at half three.
But Evan didn't like being home alone, especially with both (Y/n) and Eddie at work today. So he would be relieved to pick Ellie up early, maybe after lunch so she at least had the morning at nursery. Then he could have the afternoon with his baby and then the rest of his kids.
He was going to end up seeing Maddie this morning anyway since she wasn't at work and Evan didn't like being alone.
"Come on then, baby. Off we go."
Evan gently unclipped her and swung her navy blue Fireman Sam bag on his shoulder as he let her curl up into his chest. She was tired and he was more than happy to cuddle her than have her walk inside.
He winced when she coughed into his neck, but she wasn't snuffly or finding it hard to breathe which was a relief. Her arms cocooned around his neck and she breathed softly against his neck as he walked into reception.
"Is it Ellie?" One of the women was halfway between the reception area and the play room with the other kids.
"It is," Evan gently eased her down to her feet and took her hand so he could walk over and put her bag on one of the hooks. The one thing he liked about this nursery was the fact that they didn't have too many kids here at a time. It wasn't too many kids to overwhelm or make Ellie nervous and that also meant there was less chance of her getting ill.
He let Ellie take the lead and drag him into the room before he crouched down in front of her and pulled her close.
"Be a good girl, I'll be back soon, okay?" He took a deep breath when Ellie flopped into his chest. She tucked her face into his shoulder and clung to his neck, leaning all her weight onto him so her legs bent and went floppy. "Go on, baby." He encouraged, kissing her temple before he tried to unhook her arms so she would go play.
She didn't seem too sure or very keen when one of the assistants came over and took her hand, but Ellie let herself be guided away from Evan.
Once she was out of sight and earshot, Evan moved his hands to his thighs and pushed up to his feet again. His sights set on the woman who led them inside and he plastered on a smile as he walked over to her, tucking his hands into his pockets as he walked.
"Hi, uh, Ellie's not feeling well. Her mum and her other dad are at work, so if she needs to come home, you'll just have to ring me today and I'll come back and get her." He knew if Ellie heard him say any of that, she would start crying and ask Evan to take her home if she knew he was willing to come back for her at any point.
And he didn't want them trying to ring (Y/n) or Eddie and panicking when they couldn't get hold of either of them. There was no point calling them when Evan was off and was the easiest to access his phone. And he was already panicking that Ellie was going to get upset and want to come home.
The only reason Evan had brought her in was because he knew he couldn't keep her home whenever he suspected she wasn't one hundred percent. They could play things safe with Ellie more than the other kids, but they couldn't always keep her home and try to smother her to protect her. They had done enough worrying about her already to last them a decade.
"Okay, I'm sure she'll be fine but I'll make a note."
"Thank you."
***
A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips and he hung his head down when his spine clicked into place. He felt like someone had run him over with the truck. He was glad Evan wasn't on shift with him right now to see the discomfort he felt or Evan would fuss like a mother hen.
He shrugged off his shirt and grabbed a fresh one from his locker and the towel which he slung over his shoulder. A hot shower would do him some good and make him feel a bit more lively so he could get through the rest of his shift in one piece.
His head snapped up and crashed into the locker door, causing him to yelp when his phone rang.
That was lucky. He usually turned his phone on silent and kept it in his locker, he must have forgotten this morning.
With one hand cupping his temple which was now throbbing, his other hand rummaged around in his bag to find his phone before it stopped ringing. His eyes narrowed into a frown that set deep into his features when he looked over the caller ID.
Why was Ellie's nursery ringing him? Why did he already have a missed call off them from two minutes ago? They shouldn't be ringing Eddie when he was at work and Evan was the parent who was dropping off and picking Ellie up today. Why weren't they calling him?
"Hello?"
"Mr Diaz?"
"Yes… is Ellie okay?" He could feel his guts twisting themselves into knots while he sat down on the bench in front of the lockers. He arched his chest forwards to curve his spine and try to straighten out the tension he felt while he waited to know what was going on.
"Ellie was coughing this morning, but now she's started wheezing and she says her chest hurts. She isn't breathing very well, we think it'd be best if you could come and pick her up."
She wasn't having chest pains this morning, Ellie barely even coughed or croaked when Eddie looked at her this morning. To go from looking groggy and tired to wheezing was a little drastic and extremely worrying. But Eddie couldn't go and pick her up. He was at work. They should be ringing Evan and telling him this.
"Has she been sick? How bad is her breathing?" There were a million things coming to Eddie's mind about what the problem could be and what was happening. One of which was Ellie had just coughed a bit too harshly and given herself a bit of chest pain from straining. He hoped it was that. He prayed that was what was wrong.
"She's not been sick, but she is gasping and wheezing and she's getting herself upset."
"Okay… I'm sorry but why are you calling me, not my partner?" There was no question that Ellie was going home. Evan was going to have to go and pick her up.
"We couldn't get hold of her mother, so we called you."
"No, I get that but- you've rang me twice to get hold of me, why didn't you ring her other dad, Mr Buckley?" It felt so strange to hear Evan's last name passing through his lips. It had been a long time since Eddie had called him Mr Buckley and that was only when they were at some sort of formal place like the doctor's office or when they were registering the kids for school.
Surely if (Y/n) and Eddie hadn't answered the first time around, they should have tried Evan too. Was he alright? Why wasn't he answering? He had dropped her off this morning, hadn't he spoken to them when he took her in?
"We tried her mother first, then we tried you. It's protocol to call the parents-"
"He is her parent! Ellie has three parents and Evan is one of them. He dropped her off this morning for God's sake. I know you've got him on file."
Eddie could feel his blood beginning to boil.
They couldn't be serious. They couldn't be doing this to them. They had four kids together, Eddie had added (Y/n) and Evan as Chris's adoptive parents at his school. They had registered all the girls together at each nursery and school they went to and they rarely got this problem.
The one main issue they had was when they had Maria registered at a preschool and she had an accident. They kept insisting they could only speak to 'the real father' and didn't accept that both Eddie and Evan were equal fathers to Maria. They took her out of that school the same day and registered her somewhere else.
Sure, they got a few odd looks when they first applied and went to look round, but most of the staff had been accepting and a little curious. No one had been this rude to them in years.
"I- I'm sorry…?"
"It's fine, I'll ring him and he'll be there in five minutes." Eddie crudely hung up the phone, snaking a hand through his hair as he scrolled to find Evan's icon and call him instead. He couldn't be bothered to argue with the receptionist, not when he was at work and needed to go get changed ready for when the bell sounded.
Evan wasn't going to be happy about this, Eddie could already feel the anger and he hadn't even spoken to his partner yet.
"Hey babe, everything okay?" Evan didn't usually get phone calls from Eddie when he was at work. It wasn't that often that they did split shifts, they were usually on shift together, even if their schedules only lined up for half a shift and one left and the other stayed.
With (Y/n)'s job it was different, she could call them and have a conversation while she was on shift. But Eddie never rang while he was at work.
"Babe, can you go to nursery and pick Ellie up please?"
"What, why?"
Evan sat forward on the sofa, his back hunching over while he dragged his free hand along the back of his neck. What was Eddie talking about? Why had he been talking to the nursery? They were supposed to ring Evan if there were any problems and he had been a little worried that he hadn't heard anything from them by now.
"They called me, she's having breathing problems and they're worried, you need to go get her."
"No one rang me." The hurt was evident in Evan's voice and it made Eddie wince.
"I- I know babe, I know. I've already told them you're on your way, just let me know how she is when you get there please."
Evan muttered a quiet 'Will do' before he ended the call and grabbed his keys. He had a gut feeling he would be heading back to that nursery earlier than planned today, but Evan thought he would at least get the call himself. They had seen him drop her off, he had spoken to one of the girls who worked there. They had him as one of Ellie's contacts, he was one of her dads.
His fingers drummed against the steering wheel and every now and then he moved his hand to scratch his jaw and drag his nails down his neck. He could feel the anger radiating through him and it was bustling out of him in waves.
What was wrong with her this time? Was he going to have to make another trip down to the emergency room?
Evan hated taking any of the kids to the emergency room on his own; he would have to call (Y/n) at work and ask her to meet him there. He would ring Eddie back and check whether the hospital was busy today or not. An ambulance might be quicker than sitting in the waiting room.
He dragged his hand across his face to liven himself up and see if it would somehow wipe away the angered, hardened expression he found staring back at him in the rear view mirror.
By the time he climbed out the jeep, he was shaking and his hands were balled into fists which he shoved in his jacket pockets.
He stormed into the reception he had been in less than six hours ago and drummed his hand against the counter as he waited for someone to talk to him.
"I'm here for Ellie, what's happened?"
"Someone to collect little Ellie."
Evan's eyes darted to the double doors ahead of him when he realised there was a lady leaning out, obviously waiting for someone. She nodded and beckoned Evan over. It was the girl he spoke to this morning. She held the door open for him for him and he hurried after her and followed her through the main room.
"She's right this way."
He could feel a wave of relief wash through him at finally seeing a familiar face. He would finally get some answers out of her and find out why no one called him and be told exactly what was wrong with his daughter.
"We tried contacting her parents-"
"Who do you think I am?"
The words flooded past Evan's lips before he could stop himself and he found his hands curling back into fists to try and calm himself down. His nails punctured into the palm of his hands and his head tilted to the side when the woman turned around to face him.
"I- I'm sorry?" She paused, one hand on the door that led into the small kitchen at the back. Clearly they wanted Ellie out the way of the other kids to try and calm her down.
"I've dropped my daughter off here before work a hundred times, I brought her in this morning and spoke to you. I told you if there were any problems, call me. But no one did, I had to find out second-hand that something was wrong. Who do you think I am, the babysitter?"
Did this girl honestly think Evan was the babysitter or Ellie's uncle? Did she think Evan was just a friend of the family who helped out and brought Ellie here on his days off? She had seen Ellie cling to him and kiss him goodbye. When Ellie was in her brighter mood she would kiss him on the cheek and say goodbye papa.
Did all of that mean nothing or go in one ear and straight out the other with this girl? What did she think happened or was going on when three different people brought Ellie into nursery and Ellie seemed attached and referred to them all as her parents?
At the very least, Evan thought this lady would have gotten the wrong impression and thought he was her stepdad or her mum's new boyfriend if she was that confused. Clearly she didn't think he was anyone of importance.
"I- well, um,"
"Her name is Buckley-Diaz and I'm Mr Buckley, that doesn't give you a clue, at all?"
Evan waited with raised brows and hunched shoulders but when the girl just stared at him and gawped, Evan sighed. There was no point debating this any further. Clearly they didn't care to work out what was going on or come to grips with the fact that Ellie was lucky enough to have three loving parents and not just two.
"She has two dads, one of them is me. If you have a problem with that, I won't hesitate to switch childcare providers."
With that said, Evan moved past her and pushed open the kitchen door and briskly walked inside. His eyes landed on Ellie straight away. His youngest was sat on a little plastic chair near the window, leaning forward like she was about to fall asleep sitting up. But the way she was trembling and cuddling her teddy to her chest told Evan she really wasn't well.
As soon as Ellie lifted her head, Evan saw the tears streaking down her face and he suddenly realised she was wheezing.
"Papa!" The word was breathless and crackled like static and she unhooked one arm from around her teddy to reach out for Evan when he knelt down in front of her.
His hands found her waist and he leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek while he rested her elbows on his knees and balanced back and forth on his heels. His thumbs brushed across her sides and he managed a calming smile when she looped her arm around his neck and tucked her temple against his so she could press a sloppy, gasping kiss to his cheek.
"Hi baby. What's wrong, hm? Tell me what's the matter." Evan kissed her again before he gently sat her up straight so he could look at her properly.
He watched her unhook her arm from his neck so she could tap her chest while she dropped her teddy to rest on her thighs. "Chest hurts, papa. Sore." She patted her chest before she moved her hand near her throat and back down again. Everything hurt. Breathing was a struggle, she wanted to cry but it made her gasp and her throat felt raw and broken.
"Let me see, baby."
Evan cupped one hand on her neck to check her pulse and he moved his other hand to gently cup her chin. He pressed his thumb against her lower lip to get her to open her mouth so he could take a look. Her throat looked red raw and inflamed and he didn't like how hard it was for her to breathe. Her pulse was quite high too.
With pursed lips, Evan leaned back, trying to stay calm so Ellie wouldn't panic as he rummaged around in his back pocket for his phone. But when he went to stand up, Ellie stretched her arms out and made a loud, croaky scream that had Evan shuddering and cringing.
"I'm not leaving, baby. Come're, shh I'm right here." In an instant, Evan leaned down and scooped Ellie up into his left arm so he could cuddle her into his chest.
He moved to stand near the window, gently bouncing Ellie in his arms every few seconds while he made a phone call. He leaned back so she could curl up on his chest and he felt her fingers scrunching up in his shirt as if to make sure he wouldn't dare put her back down.
"Buck, how is she?" Eddie's panicked voice came through the receiver within two rings and Evan guessed he had kept his phone in his pocket rather than his locker for any news.
"I'd guess tonsillitis, I'm taking her down to the emergency room, again."
"Again- fuck, that's the third time this year. Buck, I can come down and get you in the ambulance, then you won't have to wait, the emergency room was packed this morning when we dropped a few patients off. We can come down, just stay there."
That would make the third time that Ellie had gotten tonsillitis, and the doctors wouldn't do anything about it unless she got it at least seven times in a year. All they would do was give her antibiotics and tell them to keep her home and keep her fluids up. If she got worse or got a temperature, they would be back to the doctor for an inhaler, more meds and a chest X-ray.
Eddie couldn't see why they wouldn't just remove her tonsils and he done with it. This wasn't fair on her, always getting ill and forever getting chest infections, but there was nothing they could do to persuade the doctors otherwise.
"You sure?" Evan knew what that meant. He knew that meant the team would come down to this if Eddie made it a call out.
More to the point, the team would find out that Eddie and Evan were in a relationship together, and that they had kids. That they were in a poly relationship with someone else.
The team were open minded and always easy going and understanding, but the boys thought it better to keep their lives private. They didn't know what kind of looks they were going to get. It was bad enough that Evan's parents had reacted horribly to the news and used to ask Evan to find out if the girls were his or Eddie's.
And with Eddie's family being devout Catholics, they hadn't been impressed he'd entered a relationship with two other people at the same time. The team were loving and caring and understanding, but the boys didn't want any strange looks or frowns from the people they thought of as their family.
"We're coming down to you right now, babe. Call (Y/n), get her to meet us at the hospital. I'll see you both soon."
Evan found himself smiling and he leaned his cheek against Ellie's head and continued to sway her side to side. When he scrolled through his phone for (Y/n)'s contact, he stopped and looked down at Ellie as her hand scrunched up in his shirt and gave a small tug for his attention.
"We go home?"
"No, baby. Daddy's coming down to see us, you can see him in his uniform and ride in daddy's ambulance."
***
"Where are we going?"
Eddie ran his hands up and down his thighs and tilted his head back into the headrest when the truck took a right turn and had them all leaning to one side. He glanced across at Ravi who was switching between looking out the window and glancing over at Eddie and Chimney.
"My daughter's not well, we're gonna go take her to the emergency room." He moved his hands to grip his knees and he scratched his nails through his overalls.
He hadn't expected Bobby to say no when he approached and asked if they could go on a personal call. The moment he explained his daughter wasn't well and needed a trip to the emergency room, Bobby understood. He understood Eddie didn't want his partner or child to be waiting in the queue that had been out the door.
Not when Ellie could barely breathe and she was a high priority. Whereas if the team assessed her and took her, they could take her through the paramedics entrance at the hospital and she would see a doctor sooner than being in the waiting room for hours.
"How come?" Chimney had learned that they could ask Eddie questions about his private life if he opened the door and started the conversation. Otherwise, no one pried because he clearly liked to keep things private. They knew he had a partner and kids, but that was it. No no one had met any of them.
It was the same with Evan, no one asked him about his private life because he wouldn't offer anything up.
"She was a preemie, born three months early." Eddie tilted his head to the left and looked out the window as his hands left his knees and rung together between his thighs. "Picks up any infection going and nursery said she's not breathing well."
He couldn't have been more relieved when the truck pulled up outside the nursery.
Eddie had been expecting him and Hen to arrive in the ambulance while the rest of the team waited back at the station. But Bobby said they would all go and treat this like any other call out, and if they got another call on the way then everyone would be together and ready to divert after Eddie had been dropped at the hospital.
He climbed down and grabbed one of the medic bags from the side compartment before he led the way inside. Eddie grabbed the reception door and flung it open with haste and an air of confidence that almost rattled the walls.
His head turned to the left and his lips pursed when he watched the receptionist look him up and down with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. It was Daphne, the lady who had called Eddie less than an hour ago about Ellie, the one Eddie rarely spoke to whenever he dropped Ellie off.
"Mr Diaz," The surprise was evident in her voice and she darted to look towards the main room and back again. Clearly Evan hadn't told them he had called for back up.
"Where's Ellie?" He didn't have the time or the patience to play nice. Eddie wanted his family and he wanted to get out of here.
"In the kitchen."
As soon as Daphne pressed the button to unlock the door, Eddie stormed through with Bobby and Hen hot on his heels.
He didn't bother to smile at the carers or the toddlers who stopped to see who was storming through. Eddie didn't feel like smiling. He felt like screaming. not only had they pissed him off by disrespecting his boyfriend, they clearly hadn't called for any help or thought to contact a doctor whereas Evan clearly thought Ellie was bad enough to need to go to the hospital.
The sight in the kitchen was enough to melt Eddie's hardened exterior and his lips managed a smile when he looked around.
Evan was sat at the small round table, slouched back in the chair with one hand on the back of Ellie's head and the other hand on her back to try and keep her stable on his chest. He had his lips smothering the top of Ellie's head, but the moment they both heard the door open, the toddler was looking off in that direction.
"Daddy!"
"Hey little girl." Eddie grinned softly and dropped his medic bag on the middle of the table.
For a second, he forgot that the rest of the team were following behind him. He didn't think before he acted, not that it really mattered anymore, and he curved his hand around to cup the back of Evan's neck. His lips pressed down on Evan's forehead and his thumb glided over the back of his neck until he was shivering from the contact.
Eddie reached out with his free hand and grabbed the wooden chair behind him and dragged it over so he was sat in front of Evan with their knees bumping together.
"Alright, let me take a look at you, little one." He waited for Evan to spin Ellie around to face him before he reached out to cup her chin. He felt that her throat seemed a tiny bit swollen, unlike this morning, and he could already see the inside of her mouth was inflamed.
Ellie let him check her temperature and she stayed limp and mobile while Evan leaned her forward over his arm so Eddie could use the stethoscope to listen to her lungs and how croaky her breathing was.
"Buck?" Bobby stood in the corner of the room and moved his hands to his hips as he raised a brow. Eddie never mentioned anything about Evan being his partner. He could have sworn Eddie had mentioned the name (Y/n) more than once. Maybe he had gotten it wrong.
"Are you-"
"This is our daughter Ellie." Eddie didn't want to wait around and have them play the guessing game or stand and stare, trying to study and figure out what they were to each other.
He whipped the stethoscope from his ears and chucked them back in the bag before he rummaged around for a blood pressure cuff. With Evan here to hold her, Eddie might be able to get a reading. Ellie hated her blood pressure being taken and neither of them could blame her, it wasn't a nice feeling.
But Eddie paused and looked back at Ellie when her hand batted against his shoulder. She waited for him to look at her before she started to pat her chest and whimper. It was hurting again. And they all watched with sympathy in their eyes when Ellie started to croak and cough which turned into gasping cries from the pain it caused.
"Hurts,"
"I know, I know little one. Alright, let's get her in the ambulance."
When Eddie stood up and hooked the bag back over his shoulder, Evan turned Ellie around so she could cuddle back up into his shoulder with her face burrowed into the crook of his neck. But his eyes went straight back to Eddie and he watched his partner turn to face the care assistant who was still stood in the corner of the room.
"Don't expect us to bring our daughter back here again."
Evan pushed himself up onto numb legs and grabbed Eddie's hand, squeezing tightly as he led the way out after Hen and Chimney. He had seen the look of thunder on Eddie's face the moment he walked in here and he had heard the frustration in his voice over the phone.
If they weren't going to be understanding or even try to listen to them, they weren't bringing Ellie back here. They had to understand that she had three parents and they had to listen to each of them. They couldn't just make presumptions or ignore Evan like they had done today.
Eddie wouldn't stand for them being so rude to his boyfriend like that.
A tender smile flickered onto Evan's face when he felt Eddie's hand on his lower back and his partner follow close behind until Eddie's chest was almost bumping into his back with each step.
Bobby and Ravi headed back to the truck and took Eddie's bag with them while Chimney climbed in the driver's seat of the ambulance. And Hen opened the back doors, beckoning the boys to hop in before she followed after them.
Evan perched himself down on the gurney and sat Ellie on his lap with her back slouched into his chest. His hands splayed out on her chest and tummy and he smothered his lips into the top of her head while Hen and Eddie sat down in front of them.
"Is she your only child?" Hen scanned her eyes between the boys who both shared a look while Eddie bit down on his lip, leaving Evan to answer this one.
"You're the baby, aren't you?" He murmured into the top of Ellie's head. "We've got four. Chris, Lola, Maria, and then Ellie."
While Hen muttered a quiet "Damn." With wide eyes, Eddie looked through one of the drawers on his left and found a steroid inhaler. It was a very weak dosage that would do Ellie some good to try and get her throat and airways open so she could breathe easier.
"Let's try some of this, see? Big breaths, like daddy, and it will feel better." Eddie pressed the white pen-like inhaler to his lips and took a deep breath. He tried to smile and stop himself from coughing at the taste, but he knew if he or Evan didn't try it first, there was no way Ellie was going to believe them and have a go herself.
She squirmed back into Evan, whining and shaking her head until Evan kissed her cheek. "Be a good girl for us, hm? Then we can tell mummy how good you've been."
"Mummy?" Ellie tipped her head back into Evan's chest, coughing and croaking as she stared up at him.
"Yeah, mummy's gonna meet us at the doctors, you wanna make her proud, don't you?"
She scrunched up her nose and curled her lips, but when Eddie pressed the inhaler closer, she didn't pull away. Her eyes sparkled when Evan sucked in a deep breath and puffed out his chest to get her to imitate him while Hen grinned at the pair of them.
Ellie copied Evan and reached both her hands out to hold Eddie's wrists as she tried to breathe in the inhaler. But as soon as the powdered steroids got into her lungs, she gasped. Her short nails scratched the back of Eddie's hands and she wriggled back into Evan, screaming as much as she was able to with the little breath she had left.
"Baby please- Ellie no- okay, okay all gone, see? It's gone now." Eddie wrenched out of her rather tight grip and handed the inhaler to Hen so she could hide it.
He dropped his head down and sighed, shaking his hands to get some feeling back from where she gripped him and his thigh burned from how she had kicked him in her panic.
"You're a little fuss-pot, you know that?" Evan murmured quietly as he rubbed his chest that now felt bruised from where she bashed her head back into him. It had only been an inhaler, it wasn't as if it actually hurt to take it and it must have made her feel a little better, even if it didn't feel normal for her. She knew they weren't trying or going to hurt her.
"I wonder who she gets that from." Hen dead-panned as the three of them felt the ambulance pull to a stop.
"Not me. Come on, let's go find mummy." Leaning over, Eddie gently scooped Ellie up from Evan's lap and climbed out the back. He felt Evan's hands on his shoulders and both of them found (Y/n) straight away.
She was stood to the far side just shy of the ambulance entrance, leaning her shoulders and one foot up against the wall. With her arms folded over her chest and her bag hanging off one elbow.
When her eyes locked on them, her lips curved into a soft smile and she pushed off the wall to aim for her guys and their youngest baby.
Evan reached her first. He weaved beside Eddie to meet (Y/n) halfway and his hands found her hips while his lips attached to her forehead. Their phone call had been brief but (Y/n) had immediately agreed to meet them here at the hospital. Ellie would need all of them if she was going to be seen by a doctor because they could guarantee she would get distressed and have a meltdown or some kind of tantrum.
She gripped Evan's waist and leaned up to kiss his cheek before she reached out for Eddie. His arm curled around her waist and she pecked his lips while Ellie scrambled to get into her arms.
"Mummy,"
"I'm here, baby. Come on, what have you been doing, hm?"
When Evan turned his head to the side and noticed the smile playing on Hen's lips, he could feel his cheeks flushing pink and a blush crept up the side of his neck. "We'll introduce you all later."
"Hm, I'm counting on it."
#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley#eddie diaz x reader#911 imagine#imagine#evan buckley imagine#buck x reader#buck imagine#eddie diaz imagine#eddie x reader#eddie x buck#buck x eddie
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Make Me Feel
Premise: What's that? The well trodden trope of weird potion creates problems of the - ahem - 🍆 variety? Well if you insist.
• Astarion x gn!tav • 18+ • E/M rating
They/them pronouns, Potion mishap!, interrupted masturbation, handjob, bj/deep throat, embarrassment, tone shift, mild canon trauma discussion, connection, enthusiastic consent, communication, dirty talk.
4.1k words
Edit: RAHHH! You're all so wonderful for getting me over 200 notes 😚 it may be a small number for some but to me it's a lot. Love you! 🥹🖤
Editedit: Over 400 notes?! Excuse me as I ugly cry 😭😭😚✨
Thank @northernolddragon for the beautiful screenshot 💜🥵
•°•°•
Tav was on watch with Shadowheart this evening, not that they really needed to with Gale's wards keeping an alarm on things coming in or out of camp but they all slept better with a night watch.
They'd enjoyed company and conversation as they spoke about everything and nothing. Mostly about Tav, since Shadowheart had very little memories to share.
A friendship had steadily grown with them, so much that she'd revealed herself a Sharron - which wasn't really a shock.
A low alarm pulsed and they went to investigate to the left of camp but after a little cooperation between Tav's survival skills and Heart's perception, concluded that an animal had triggered the alarm - hence the low pulse and the fresh animal tracks belonging to a rabbit.
Tav paused a moment, a thought flashing across their mind. They called to Shadowheart, "Hey, did you hear Astarion come back in from hunting?
"No, he didn't go out tonight. Said, 'he had something else to attend to'."
Again, Tav paused. Oh, shit. Had they promised he could feed tonight and completely forgotten?
"Are you supposed to be 'dining tonight'?" Shadowheart asked through a smirk.
"I don't think so.. maybe? Oh, gods. Maybe I did say." Said Tav, trying to think back on the day.
"Go check on him, see if he's waiting up for a midnight snack. I'll stay on watch." She pursed her lips and swished her long braid as she walked to do a patrol of the camp.
~~~
Tav quietly made their way passed the tents of their companions, who were softly - or loudly - snoring. Astarion's tent however still had a candle going and made no sounds of sleep, or revery but rather stranger noises. Hissing sounds from the side of his mouth and what seemed like a painful gasp.
Their brow creased with concern, Tav stepped up to the entrance of his tent. The noises intensified.
"Astarion?" Tav called through the fabric in a hushed whisper, "Are you alright?"
A choked noise of frustration replied to them first, "Uh-yes. I'm perfectly fine. Why do ask?" He retorted a little too sharply, despite his usual lulling tones.
"Shadowheart said you hadn't gone hunting and I couldn't remember if I'd agreed to let you feed tonight."
"Ah, you're such a sweetheart.. while I always delight in our little nightly visits, I've rather got my hands full with something at the moment." He strained, like he was in pain. Something wasn't right.
"Astarion. What's going on? I know something's wrong. What is it? What have you done?" Tav asked, exasperated.
"Ughh, it's nothing just-Arghh" he let out a muffled cry.
"I'm coming in." Tav announced, pushing their way inside the dimly lit interior.
"No, no, don't!" But it was too late.
Tav's mouth flew to their face, shocked at the view.
There, on the floor, in only his ruffled shirt and barely covered in his grotty blanket was Astarion. Although, the blanket was more of tent itself with what it was shielding.
"Oh! Oh, shit. Sorry-sorry! I'll leave." Tav blustered at the sight of the half naked pale elf on the floor before them. They'd clearly not been sounds of pain, and the frustration was aimed at them not leaving him to masturbate in peace.
"No, stay. Please." He croaked, desperate, "I don't know what else to do; I need your help."
"With what?" Tav questioned, averting their eyes to afford him some sort of privacy.
"I appreciate the gallantry but we can do away with the charade, you know what I was doing." He sulked, shifting his weight to sit up, the ruffles on his shirt bristling as he heaved himself upwards.
Tav's eyes tracked the movement and flitted down to the protrusion, unwavering in it's vigil against the thin protection of his grey comfort rag.
Hot flashes of memories seared their mind; remembering how it felt in their hands, hot and cool at the same time. Harder than rock as he'd moved within them, expertly stroking their sweet spot while feeding openly on their blood.
Tav bit their lip, then jolting back to the situation, looked away.
"Um, you said you needed my help. I don't know how I can-"
"I have been.. doing this to myself for the past three hours. It's incessant."
"Jeez, Astarion. I don't need to know that."
"Not for my own selfish good. I-" he growled to himself, it made Tav's stomach flip uncomfortably, "I drank something. It looked like a normal potion, but it tasted a bit off.. and now, this." He gestured to the distinct lump, "It's unbearable and painful if it's not being.. used." He paused, discomfort clear on his face.
A blush flooded Tav's cheeks, "Aaand, you want me to help by..?" They trailed, needing more explanation. Because if he was suggesting what they thought he was suggesting...
"Ugh, I don't know. This obviously isn't helping! Find something that can? Another potion, a spell? Anything!" He waved his arms helplessly into the air.
Astarion looked up at them; his shirt in disarray, his legs gently folded with the blanket tucked between them, with guilty but adamant eyes. He looked helpless and adorable.
A feeling was stirring in Tav's chest, something rumbling and loud but it wasn't arousal, it was laughter. They caught a snicker behind their hand, trying to hold in their amusement.
Astarion's face changed to surprise, with a big frown cutting across his beautiful features.
"Well, thanks a lot. Glad the bleeding heart thinks it's funny." He pouted.
"Oh, come on Astarion. It's pretty funny."
Astarion's eyes narrowed, "How precisely is this funny?" He demanded.
"It's so unfunny that it's funny again. It has to be laughed at how ridiculous this is. I mean, come on." They tried to explain, "you drank a strange elixir and now you have an erection that won't fuck off." Tav barely made it through the last word without sniggering, "You've been beating yourself stupid and it's not going anywhere. It's a fucking ridiculous situation to be in and if you can't laugh about it? Fuck." They shrugged, smiling brightly and encouraging him to see the funny side of this ridiculousness, "I thought you said Lae'zel was the one with no sense of humour."
"Actually, Lae'zel is hilarious. She just doesn't realise she's being hilarious," The frown on his face softened, a smile clearly fighting to spread across his face, "I suppose it is absurd. Most men would kill for this."
"Most people would pay good money for this problem!" Tav squeaked, "Oh gods, the old men that have given all their gold for this problem!" They whined out before coming down to kneel on the floor.
"All of them furiously masturbating to get rid of it after their mistress has left and their wife will notice." He chuckled.
"Oh, the scandal." Tav flourished.
"What would the neighbours say?" He jested, opening up to the idea that the incredulity of it all needed to be laughed at.
He mimed trying to push it down only for it to spring back up with a pop sound effect provided by him and they fell about cackling together.
It was nice. Seeing him smile.
~~~
They sat laughing for a while, trying to come up with unfortunate scenarios to find yourself in with this predicament. Each as hilarious at the next.
Howls turned giggles, and giggles turned to titters, until eventually they were all laughed out.
There was a comfortable silence between them for several moments. Tav glanced back at him.
"Did that help? Taking your mind off it?" Tav asked, hopeful.
"I'm afraid not. Still there. Although, it's taken away the urgency of needing that release."
"That's a start at least. What the hell's did you drink?"
"I don't know, it was in the pack from today's adventure with the hag."
"You drank one of the hag's potions?" Tav chided, incredulous.
"Of course not! What do you take me for?"
Tav raised their brows and wordlessly gestured to his lap.
"Point taken," he relented, "but, no it was a regular looking potion bottle. I needed a little healing, so I.." he trailed off, loosely waving a hand.
"You drank a random potion from today, before we'd had a chance to examine it and expected nothing to go wrong. You brought this on yourself." Tav pursed their lips mockingly.
"Yes, thank you for stating the obvious, dear. What am I going to do?" He asked, exasperated.
"Well, masturbating yourself sore hasn't worked, so it can't be about orgasming it out of you."
"Oh, I haven't orgasmed. That's what I was trying to tell you before, but in my feverish haze didn't get out into words properly."
"After three hours?" Tav asked, wide eyed.
"It was more stop/start than powering through. I'm drawing the assumption that while this potion grants me this bloody thing, it doesn't heighten the sensation much."
"Maybe it deadens it? To keep it going longer? That's why you couldn't.. yuh know." Tav mimed the action for affect. They shared a small titter through their noses.
"I haven't a clue. Although, I'm not really.. versed in this sort of thing. It's not something I do, not something I've done for centuries," he admitted, shrugging, "Self pleasure wasn't high on the list when the thought of touching anyone, let alone yourself made your skin crawl-" Astarion caught himself, his eyes widening.
Tav's mouth gaped, "What?" The question came out breathy and low. Hurt struck painfully into their heart, "So the night we spent together you were disgusted-"
"-No. No. Well, at first it I was a little but-"
Tav's eyed widened and they recoiled, wounded. He knew he'd revealed too much and Tav could see that flawless mask of his was trying to slot back into place after it's momentary lapse.
"Don't." Tav urged, "Don't pretend you didn't say it."
"It wasn't like that-I didn't mean you, you're wonderful. I meant in Baldur's Gate with Cazador. The manipulation, the decite. I couldn't. I never." He stopped himself.
Tav softened, the harm still stinging but this was important. Astarion had never spoken about his time with Cazador apart from being a slave and using sex to lure people back. He hadn't elaborated more than those facts. Obviously he would have sexual trauma. And he'd opened up a chance at the conversation.
"It's alright. I'm here to listen. Go on." Their tone was low and understanding.
His face full of uncertainty and shame, Astarion shook his head and refused to look at them.
"I don't want to. Not yet. Not now. I mean.. I just want this thing gone." He motioned to his still swollen member.
Tav's brow knitted and they shrugged heavily.
"Apart from distracting you from it, I don't know what I can do." Tav raised their hands in exasperation, "I mean if you can't do it after three hours, what am I supposed to do-"
"Trust me, you'd be able to help." He said darkly, almost to himself. His gaze darted back, scared by another accidental confession. Tav's confused expression must have been clearly legible.
"What do you mean?"
Astarion averted his eyes, clearly debating on letting more of his secrets out.
"Shit." He cursed. There was a pregnant pause that Tav refused to break.
"You-" he stopped himself, "the other night at the party was- it was-" he shut his eyes and sighed through his nose, "I can't do this, you can leave. I'll just keep this forever."
"Astarion.." Tav said softly, gently reached a reassuring hand to the floor beside him.
He took a deep, cleansing breath and swallowed.
"It was the first time I've known actual pleasure in almost 200 years. Where I actually enjoyed myself, much to my surprise."
Suddenly feeling relieved and very flattered, Tav remained stone-faced silent, encouraging him to keep going.
"My existence has been about having my body used to lure back pretty things for him. To get them to trust me and let their guard down, then.." he trailed off, "I tried to make the most of it and relish in the copious amounts of sex I was having.. It didn't last long. I got extremely good at pretending I did, they never suspected a thing." He said with a sneer.
"I became numb to the entire experience. It was nothing to me. A dance. A deception. It became second nature and I got used to the disgust I felt, I used it to push through. To hold onto some semblance that I had one shred of humanity left. As long as I despised myself for what I was doing, there was still hope."
"So imagine my shock when I actually felt something different with you. Something good." He finally looked in their eyes, "You are a bastion of firsts in this newfound freedom of mine. My first true blood, the first person who has let me indulge in my instincts and helped me grow in my power," Astarion swallowed, "the first person in so long to make feel something.. anything.. during sex that wasn't hatred and self-loathing."
Tav's throat closed and tears threatened to brim but they blinked them back.
"You offered your neck to me, your life blood to me and I felt something.. it wasn't like our usual feeds.. it was something immense.. something transcendant and I.. I lost myself in you.. wholly. Pleasure had returned to my body and I froze. I didn't know what to do."
"Nothing else existed outside us.. and I could have spent the rest of my life buried inside you," he paused, closing his eyes as if the memory over-powered him. Tav sat there, breathless, mesmerised by his beauty in the candle's soft glow.
"I think I came back to consciousness when I saw my seed over your beautiful body. You looked just as shocked as I felt. It was all over your chest, your mouth.." he was breathing heavily now and the air around them shifted. Tav swallowed dryly. They remembered.
The grunting, ecstatic moan he'd made when he came over them echoed in their mind long after. They'd pulled back from lavishing his thick, pale cock to pause for breath and to whisper sweet words to him. He'd erupted on them with no more than a silent gasp and a hand fisted in their hair.
Staring deeply into Tav's eyes, Astarion continued, "You took me so well," he brought a hand to their bottom lip, grazing it lightly with his fingertips, "With your mouth.. with all of your holes, actually. Your wonderfully tight holes." He moaned through a sly smile.
Tav's mouth was aridly dry, as all the blood in their body waved and pooled to their core. Heat radiated through them and quickly made breathing steadily a problem, and logical thinking was non-existent.
"I know you could do it again, if you wanted to." he closed his eyes and snaked himself closer against Tav's neck, inhaling deeply. His breath cool raising gooseflesh, as he pressed his lips against the shell of their ear, "You could wrap those soft lips around my cock and suck me like you did in the forest. So deep and so warm."
Tav's thoughts were like wading through thick, soupy mud as Astarion's words clouded their mind and flooded their body with desire.
"I've never been devoured quite like that, you fit yourself around me so well.. you were such a good f-"
Tav quickly brought their hand to his mouth. He had to be silenced. His seductive power was too much to leave unbridled.
Mentally shaking off his charms, Tav came some what back to their senses.
"In one breath you tell me how disgusted you are with sex and the next you say about wanting my 'tight holes'? What is it that you want, Astarion? You can't have it both ways."
"Of course I can, darling. Now I can. Things have changed. Lots of things. I have my body back and I decide what to do with it. And right now.." he moved with the lithe limbs of a panther to sidle himself beside them, the grey blanket gently pulling back to reveal his thick, swollen manhood. He exhaled at the softness leaving him, "I want.."
Tav swallowed hard, their lips parted. Another wave of euphoric desire swept over them as the cool touch of his skin ghosted against theirs.
Astarion reached over and grasped their hand and placed it on his engorged cock.
"This." He hissed as their skin finally touched, his cool hardness welcome in their palm.
Gods, he was so erect. The veins in his thick shaft pulsating. The velvet softness of him thrummed with desperate need.
He was so close to them, so close now.. they could kiss if he wanted them to. Astarion breathed against Tav's mouth, "Touch me."
He started to move both their hands in short bursts over the head of his penis, Astarion shuddered out a gasp and screwed his eyes shut, "Touch me. Please."
Tav willingly acquiesced, bending down to spit on his painfully erect cock and began to work.
He made a staggered, breathless moan as he leaned back on both hands, exposing himself to them. Tav pumped his rock hard length in a steady rhythm, remembering back to the Tiefling party that he had appreciated the gentle building of friction, to fruition.
His head was purple and looked sore from his abusing himself for so long in search of relief. Tav generated salvia in their mouth and spat on their other hand to use on him.
The sweetest moan they'd ever heard sang from Astarion's chest.
"Yes-yes-use your hands on me.. make me feel like before.. make me feel-" he gasped through the last word so ferociously he inadvertently bared his fangs.
Tav used their hands in symbiotic motion; pumping the bottom of his shaft with their non-dominant, while teasing and playing with the head between their deft fingers, all the while keeping his entirety slick in saliva.
Gods, they wanted to use their mouth on him properly. He looked so beautiful, unmasked before them. He had been so unexpectedly naked and raw with his past. Revealing hard and difficult truths regarding his lack of control, and autonomy of his own body.
And Tav had to respect that, no matter how aroused they were. They would show that his trust was placed rightly in them.
"Astarion?" They called softly to him.
He answered back with a broken, "Mhm?"
"Thank you for telling me what you did. I won't tell anyone else, you have my word."
"Mm-mm-thankyou, Tav." He managed, his voice tense.
Tav slowed their pace and Astarion let out a whine, balling up his fists in frustration.
"Don't pretend with me. Don't force it."
"I'm not, I swear." He gasped, looking directly at them, a light sheen of sweat appearing on his upper lip.
Tav smirked, "Promise you won't."
"Yes-yes, I promise. Please speed up again." He pleaded through gritted teeth, thumping his head back on the pillow.
"I will. But I'd like to use my mouth on you aswell, would that be okay?"
He let out a pent up huff of air, "Oh gods yes, yes, yes-please use that gorgeous mouth on me. Swallow me. Take me."
Tav smiled and quickly got into position, propped between his legs, "I'd also like to play with your testicles, if that's agreeable."
Astarion wrenched his red hot eyes open, making contact with theirs again. Tav irked a suggestive brow.
A devilish grin crossed his face, once again his fangs shone in the dim candle light, "Oh, my dear. That would be most agreeable." He purred through steadier breaths now they had paused.
"One request from me though; don't push my head down, I don't like it. I'll respect your wishes and you respect mine. Deal?"
"Deal." He smiled and reached down to collect his shirt up to reveal his pale, chiseled body. Tav looked hungrily at his toned flesh, desperate to snake it with their tongue.
They took a breath to ask but Astarion interrupted, "Yes, gods please yes! Lick it, kiss it, bite it, suck me. Do what you want with me.. I'll tell you to stop if it's too much."
"I'll hold you to that." They crooned with a serious edge, as they spat on their hand again, then manoeuvred themselves to be able to kiss his beautiful body, and pump the head simultaneously.
He twitched at the increase in contact and laughed hungrily through strained teeth, "Uhhgh, fuck yes."
Tav languished their lips and tongue across the defined muscles, gently sucking and nibbling occasionally for added sensation. They kissed and dragged their tongue up and down the V in his hips, paying equal and excruciating mind to each side, making Astarion moan and buck.
Tav firmly pressed kisses on the creases of his pelvis, breathing hot over the area. They took their time, languishing over his form with their mouth and exploring the contours of his hips and thighs with their spare hand. Astarion groaned in vexation.
"Ooh, don't tease me. Please."
"The potion is making you impatient. You enjoyed this last time." Tav reminded him.
"It's not the bloody potion-Gods above-AUGH-I'm asking nicely. Don't keep me waiting any longer, I've already been edged enough. Show me-make me feel-let me feel-"
Astarion gasped as Tav collected the precum that bloomed at his tip, and licked their fingers clean, before deftly angling themselves to engulf his thick cock as much as they could.
The noises that were illicited from the pale elf were unlike any they'd ever heard before - strained and trembling, through gritted teeth and grounded fists - and the sloppy, wet sounds that their mouth made around his unyielding cock were intentionally and debaucherously pornographic.
Momentarily retreating, they began flicking their tongue over the slit, Tav moaned from the back of their throat like he was a tall mug of water quenching debilitating thirst. One hand holding his length steady, the other lightly grazing his testes.
Astarion's thighs fluttered and tensed, as Tav heard a smile through his own moan, "Ooh, that's new."
"Mhm."
Gathering more sleek, Tav ran the flat of their tongue up the smooth underplane of Astarion's cock from base to tip, and encircled the head. His member twitched unconsciously as he let out a warm, low rumble from his chest.
"Is that alright? Not too much?" Tav asked, checking in. They kissed the crease of his frenulum, while nimbly massaging and squeezing his sac.
"Mm-mhm-yes. I'm gaining quite an appetite for your skills in this area." He cooed, shifting underneath them, "but I remember a rather more deeper approach last time."
Tav grinned at his less than subtle request, "Oh, my darling. We're just warming up.. but if you're ready for more. I will, of course.. oblige."
Unhinging their jaw like a snake preparing to consume their pray, Tav gorged on the willing partner in front of them.
Astarion sucked in a gasp and Tav felt a hand on the back of their head briefly, before being removed hastily. Tav heard his fist pound into the bedroll beside him. They moaned in thanks, vibrating against his solid shaft.
He replied with a deep rumble from his chest, "Yes.. that's what I've been missing. This is what I needed.."
Bobbing and dipping, taking just a little more in their mouth each time. Sucking and stroking his perfect length. Their mouth salivated and filled with lubricant, anticipating the meal in front of them. Finally meeting their lips on their pumping fist, working together harmoniously.
Tav relaxed their throat further and began swallowing the last length of him, suppressing the need to gag until it would afford the most pleasure. They flattened their tongue and swallowed, sucked and gagged as Astarion whimpered and moaned, unconsciously jerking. Tav placed a hand on his hips to steady him, to not ruin the mood by choking unexpectedly.
They pressed down just above his pubic bone as their lips bottomed out against him, tears forming wet stains under their eyes at the challenge of taking his full size. Tav gulped and gasped against his cock, enveloping him with their tongue and throat working in tandem, coating him in liquid slick. The debased, vile sounds coming from their meeting wet and loud and hot as the hells; pushing him higher, dragging him under, coercing him to cum.
He gasped and raised his head to look down at them. Tav met his tear-streaked, claret gaze, with their own.
"Ohh-yes-yes-look at me as you devour my cock-take it all the way down your throat-such a good-nasty-AHH-YES!" He gargled the last word through moans and his hips pulsated and thrust wantonly as he bunched his shirt in his hand, the other fisted around his greyed rag blanket.
His brows creased, his face wracked with pleasure and pain. His face contorted and twisted as he writhed and moaned. He panted and heaved and shook his head from side to side.
Concern furrowed their brow at his expressions, while he seemed to be "enjoying himself", they were reminded of his words from their conversation, that his sexual conquests couldn't tell that he was pretending.
Tav pulled back to breathe through their nose. They reached out with the tadpole and gently stroked his mind, seeking reassurance that this was what he wanted. That he wasn't pretending. That this was real. That this was what he wanted.
"Yesyesyesyes-oh gods-please don't stop-choke on my cock till you can't breathe-ARH-going to cum down your throat and taste myself on your tongue-fuck!-fuck my hard cock deep in your throat-do it-do it-doit-doit-doit" he repeated, trailing off in whimpers against his soiled comfort blanket.
That enthusiastic consent was all they required.
This was a challenge that they would unabashedly attempt to conquer. They had no idea if they could; he hadn't fed on them this time and the potion was an unknown quantity for help, or hindrance. They had no idea. But damned if they weren't going to try. Tav steeled themself and took a deep breath.
They made no illusions at a slow build in tension, they went straight for the kill.
Straining down his hard length to the hilt, making the most illicit and disgusting sodden noises as they consumed him, squeezing him with the throat that tried to resist his intrusion.
Astarion growled and whined and shook with the tension in his body coiled so tightly.
Tav stretched their jaw to lap their tongue against his balls, which tightened due to the expected feeling. He rewarded their efforts with another mumbled, half coherent onslaught of praise and explicit desires.
They re-applyed the pressure on his pubus, pushing down firmly against his taut skin.
A breathless gasp shot from his throat as the hand bunched in his shirt now flew to grasp their hand with choruses of, "yes-yes-yes!"
He was so close, they could feel it. His precum tainted the back of their throat. His jaw was tight and his glistening fangs were bared.
Tav remembered back once more to what had unexpectedly tipped him over the edge when they'd made him cum the last time.
Concentrating hard on keeping the fast-paced rhythm, tears streaming from their eyes, they flipped their hand to hold his properly.
Tav reached out through their connection and whispered, "I've got you, Astarion.. you're safe. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, I promise.. I have you.. Cum, Astarion.. cum, my love."
Astarion stilled, his every muscle contracting and seizing, his chest rising off the floor as his spine curved.
A gentle, surprised gasp escaped from his mouth. He squeezed their hand so tightly as their name died on his lips.
Suddenly Tav felt warmth shoot against the back of their throat as he came hot and quick, filling their mouth and spilling out the sides and he thrust wildly, unable to control his movements. His cries of pleasure muted and gasping.
Tav gagged and slowed to a gentler pace, swallowing him down. Astarion twitched and quivered as they saw him through his climax; still holding each others hand.
His soft, whimpering groans dissolved into laboured heaves as he relaxed into the lull of his orgasm.
A moan shuddered from him as Tav expertly extracated his thankfully - slightly - softening member from their stretched throat.
They tenderly cleaned him up with their tongue, as there was quite a lot that had spilled from his heavy, metallic-tanged load, while Astarion lay there in stunned silence.
Tav dried their eyes and gently rested their chin on his thigh and sighed deeply, their hands still joined on his stomach.
They kissed his cool skin, "Are you alive up there?" Tav asked, jokingly.
Silence.
If he wasn't already dead, they'd have thought he'd died.
"Astarion?"
"M'alive." He mumbled in a stupor.
"Good." Tav said through a wry smile.
They looked to their left where his cock was already starting to swell again and sighed.
"I don't think it worked, you're getting hard again."
Still nothing.
Tav furrowed their brow, "Do you hear me up there?"
Still nothing.
Starting to worry, Tav raised themselves up and started padding their way one-handed up towards his face. His crimson eyes were fixed on ceiling of the tent, drying tears still streaked down his temples.
"Are you alright? Was it too much?" Tav asked, worried they'd gone too far.
He finally blinked.
"My body feels like it's.. weightless and.. empty. My head feels like.. I've been zapped with a.. shocking grasp.. and my ears are ringing." His tone was high and dazed. His every move tinged with exhaustion. His expression one of pure contentment.
He was fully in an afterglow bubble. That was better than potentially traumatised.
Tav pursed their lips with pride, "Sounds like a good orgasm then. Was it?" They asked, feigning innocence.
Astarion gave a long blink and turned his gaze to Tav, who lay to the side of him.
"You've rendered me paralsyed. I think we can call that a success, don't you?"
Tav chuckled, "Well, a semi-success. You've still got your problem." They gestured a thumb towards his now alarming erection again.
"Oh no, that's not the potion. That's me."
Tav jerked their neck in questioning confusion, "Eh?"
"I'm laying here sprawled on the floor after one of the best orgasms of my long life. Two of whom have been granted by you.. and the only thing I can think of.. is that I need to do that again."
Tav bit their bottom lip through a grin spreading across their face.
"But we said that that night was a one-time thing and this is an extraordinary circumstance.. this isn't supposed to-"
His pale pink lips came up to capture their first kiss of the night and from the passion and force behind it, it was not to be their last.
Astarion slid his fingers to their umber trousers and cupped them through the fabric. Tav gasped against his mouth as they twitched within his grasp, the damp spot of their arousal staining their clothes. They sucked in Astarion's bottom lip into their mouth and cursed.
"Well, apparently that arrangement needs to be renegotiated." He smirked, as he kissed them deeply, sweeping his tongue to taste himself there.
He brought his hand to the buckle, "And these definitely need to come off."
•°•
#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion smut#bg3 astarion#bg3 smut#smut#astarion x tav#astarion x gn!tav
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ADHD money/budgeting system I'm currently using for my benefit is going well (I've been using it for like half a year now?), and I wanna recommend it.
You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT. 10/10 do recommend. Uhhh rambling about it and my generic disclaimers + gushing extensively under the cut but TL;DR I think it's great for ADHD ppl, I've used it for 6+ months now and I find it super SUPER helpful. also weirdly fun.
DISCLAIMERS:
Budgeting helps you understand/know your money, it can't make money appear where there is none.
Everyone should learn to budget even if you don't have much money (especially then)
This is NOT a magic trick solution. Just like everything else, it is an assistive tool. This is one of those adult things we can't simply opt out of without negative consequences, though.
My advice is based on something I am currently able to do. That is, I can spend an amount of money on this specific thing that works well for me. If you have no extra money to spend then previously I was tracking things in a notebook. So you can still do this.
I believe Dave Ramsey is a fundie fraud/hack and no one should listen to him about money.
DID YOU KNOW THEY CANCELLED MINT???
Okay? OKAY.
Ahem.
You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT.
It is called YNAB for short. The first 34 days are your free trial, and that is my referral link. If anyone uses it and then signs up for a subscription, we both get a month free. Also you can share a subscription with up to six people (account owner can see everything but individuals can pick and choose what they share amongst each other) so like...idk your whole polycule can be on one account. Or your kids. Whatever.
If you are a student, it's free for a year. If you aren't, a subscription is $99 for a year (paid all at once) or $14.99 monthly, which is equivalent to paying Amazon prime. Go cancel Prime and get this instead tbh.
They got a whole article just on ynab and ADHD. They also have like...a big variety of ways to access their info? They have a book, podcast episodes, YouTube videos, blog posts, q&A's, free live workshops you can join (you can request live captioning), emails they can send (if you want) a wiki, and so on. They got workshops on all kinds of topics!!
So whatever ends up working for your brain. It also has a matching app.
If you lost Mint this year they have a gajillion things for moving from Mint.
Also they have a "got five minutes?" Page which has a slider so you can decide how much attention/time you have before going on lol:
They only have 4 rules of the budget, they're simple and practical, and it doesn't get judgey or like...mean about your spending.
1. Give every dollar a job 2. Embrace your true expenses 3. Roll with the punches 4. Age your money.
THEN THEY BREAK THESE DOWN INTO SMALL STEPS FOR YOU! They even have a printable! Also these rules are great because there's built in expectations that things WILL HAPPEN and it's NOT all or nothing with a fear of total collapse into failure. Reality and The Plan don't always align, especially if you have ADHD. So it's directing our energy towards the true expenses and not clinging to The Plan!! over reality.
You can automate a lot of shit (you can sync with your bank accounts just like mint, but also automate tagging the categories of regular expenses/transactions). And if for whatever reason you accidentally do something that makes the budget look weird or wrong:
A) you can usually fix it somehow OR b) they have like, a button you can press that gives you a clean slate and archives the previous version of the budget for you.
So if you forget for a few weeks or months, or accidentally input something wildly wrong, or just don't want to look at a really terrible month anymore and feel like you need a fresh start you can usually either fix it or start fresh which is really nice.
The app also (for whatever reason) scratches my itch to have things like...have incentives or little game-like goals in a way mint never did? I don't know why. Filling up the bars or putting money into the categories to cover my expenses is satisfying lmao. You can also make a big wish expense category for all the fun shit you want, and fund it whenever you can and then you can see the little bar go up and that's fun.
Anyways I've been using it for like 6+ months now and I think it's really helped me when I use it.
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I'm seeing a number of people defending the use of a logitech controller being used in the Oceangate sub claiming it's totally normal for heavy machinery to be controlled by such devices and I feel the need to yell from the rooftops that, while it's faaaar from the worst factor at play here...
NO, IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO USE A BUDGET THIRD PARTY VIDEOGAME CONTROLLER TO DRIVE A SUBMARINE
Listen. I hear you. You can use a commercial videogame controller for a lot of surprising things. They're ergonomic, incredibly easy to use, highly familiar to a massive portion of the population, very adaptable to pretty much any system you can slap a usb drive to, but do you know what they're not?
Reliable
They're made with cheap parts and are NOT built to last. I've had to replace dozens of videogame controllers for multiple different systems and for a variety of reasons. Compatibility issues, degrading input accuracy, unresponsiveness, all the way down to plain old wear and tear. Shit, I had to replace a dualshock 4 controller this month because holding directly up on the left analogue stick would have the input wavering 8~ degrees left or right.
I watch a castlevania speedrunner on twitch who uses the Logitech f310. It's an extremely similar model to the one used in the Oceangate sub. He talks about having to replace it every couple of months because they wear down so quickly. These are not devices made to steer one of the single most dangerous vehicles humans have ever created. Let me reiterate, even professional videogame players and speedrunners don't trust their controllers to last longer than half a year at best. Not that Mango is going to be using the sub to practice his tech skill but it says a lot about how temperamental these things can be.
The fact that it's got those little dongers on the analogue sticks for more precise movement should tell you everything, really. They recognise that the accuracy of that thing simply isn't good enough. It's not even a digital input modifier like hitbox controllers have, it's a cheap ass 3d printer looking plastic cone on a third party video game peripheral. It's not a budget issue either. If they needed more accurate fine controls the could've gotten a steering mechanisms with more accurate fine controls.
There's so much wrong with the Oceangate sub that it's a miracle anyone thought it was a good idea. There's no seats. You're bolted in with no way to open the sub from the inside. All the controls are digital with no mechanical backups. There's no distress call system. There's no black box equivalent. The one porthole isn't rated for depths even half as deep as they're going. Communication is demonstrably unreliable. All issues way more likely to cause a catastrophic incident. I would be surprised if the logitech controller specifically was the root cause of this one incident but don't let the truly comically bad engineering of the sub in almost every other sense trick you into thinking that it's acceptable for such an expensive and dangerous vehicle to be steered by a device many wouldn't trust to control mario with a consistent level of precision.
#oceangate#titanic#the titanic#logitech#we should be talking about the migrant ship that sunk off the coast of greece instead anyway#600+ dead and I feel like I barely know what happened
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I'm seeing a lot of people saying stuff like
"it makes me sad that he's mean :(" "I'm scared that my au is not accurate anymore" or "I got my interpretation of him wrong"
And I think you should put this new information about the DCA at a side for a moment, go talk to friends and info dump about your original AUs and ideas, brighten up a little bit that spark that makes you create your art and just have fun talking about it. Because the fact that he's sassy in one game doesn't mean that that's the only trait to his personality now.
He can be mean, he can be anxious, short tempered, good intended, caring, dramatic, a little bitch, a cinnamon roll... He can be all the things you can come up with, in this fandom he's always been all of the above and more in different ways, in different stories. And you can still write him the way you want, people can still interpret him the way they want, don't let canon or other people or your own thoughts stop you from creating your AUs.
Instead use it to get inspired, get new ideas and create new stories. They turned the tables, you can turn them back up. He can be mean because of the virus but get softer to you with time, you can make a story about self-confidence and worth, he can hate and love his job simultaneously for different reasons.
The AUs where he's soft and caring are still going to be there, the fics where he's good with kids and patient are still going to get written. Keep writing those fics, don't stop just because canon says otherwise. I stopped writing my steampunk AU when the mimic was revealed to be burntrap and not Afton because "it wasn't canon anymore so my AU is not accurate anymore" and I'm still with that thorn stuck in the back of my head for not continuing writing even if it wasn't canon accurate anymore. Because I actually got excited about writing that AU but for the way my brain see things "if it wasn't canon accurate it wasn't worth it" and let me tell you that's a shit of mentality.
So please
Please please please please
Don't give up on your stories and creativity like that.
The immense variety of characterizations and AUs is one of the pillars of this community and one of the coolest things. The fact that you can come up with any concept for these two dorks and make it an investing story and you have a whole catalog to choose from what you're going to see next. Don't let that stop.
I love this community even if I don't understand it sometimes and I barely interact, I love seeing people having fun making their AUs, going nuts making fanarts and gifting art to each other just because it makes them happy.
Don't let this limit you.
Now I don't care how you share this, if rebloging, or reposting it, or rewriting the whole thing but shorter in your own post but just share this feeling with the community. It would be so sad if all the things that makes this place special crumbled because people aren't confident anymore in how they write the DCA because of a game that came out yesterday.
#for me. I see the hw2 Sun as the piece I was missing for my interpretation and I feel it will help me write him better and more comfortable#but I'm also a BIG. SUCKER. for a Sun that goes soft or a Sun that a bit sassy because of stress and when he gets to know you he softens#I just like people getting along in fiction#help wanted 2 spoilers#help wanted 2#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#long post#lyna rambles
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"Shhh.... shhh...."
The baby in your arms doesn't calm, even as you gently bounce him in time with your soft shushing. He's fussing, letting out shrill little cries of complaint and the occasional sob, his chubby cheeks flushed a harsh red and his round blue eyes welling with the glimmer of tears.
"Oh, poor baby," you whisper, running your fingertips through the dark, downy hair at your son's temple. He sniffles weakly, grabbing a fistful of your shirt and clutching it with all his might in his teeny tiny hand, another pained little whimper slipping out of his pursed lips.
You glance over to the other side of the nursery where Tobio stands, watching you with a concerned pinch to his expression, his hands unconsciously gripping the material of his sweatshirt over his diaphragm. His eyes—swimming with a palpable, but unspoken worry—are on the baby in your arms, and they don't waver.
Tobio hasn't calmed since he woke you frantically an hour prior.
"Hey..." his voice had called for you, crackling unmistakably with panic. You could feel the mattress dipping as he kneeled at the edge of your bed, an urging hand on your back to rouse you. "Please wake up."
Your son's cry was the next thing you registered—the piercing sound of your baby shrieking from a few rooms away. Tobio's frightened face met you when your eyes finally snapped open
"What is it?" you asked, sitting up suddenly in bed. Your voice was still thick with sleep, but you felt terribly, horribly awake in that moment—your husband's expression enough to startle you into the firm grip of consciousness, the prick of panic's gnarled claws spearing through you.
"There's something wrong with the baby," he had rasped next, and if you'd not immediately stumbled out of bed towards the nursery you might have caught the sight of tears beading on his lash line.
There isn't anything wrong with the baby, at least not anything serious, in spite of Tobio's initial panic. He is teething, though—rather intensely if the fierce red flush to his cheeks and his his tears are anything to go by—and nothing seems to be working to calm him down.
"It's okay, Tobio," you say softly to your husband, assuring him at the same time as you soothe your wailing 7-month-old with those continued gentle bouncing motions.
"He's so upset," Tobio replies quietly, swallowing hard. "I tried to calm him down but I didn't know what was wrong, and he—nothing I—he just—"
"Hey," you cross the nursery towards him, keeping baby tucked up against your shoulder and rocking him gently. "You didn't know. It's okay."
Regardless of your assurances, Tobio looks defeated.
"Tobi, why don't you go get one of his teething toys?" you suggest, shifting your son so you can get a better look at his distraught little face—rubbing your thumb against his chubby cheek to clear away some of his tears. He squirms in your arms in protest.
"Okay," the man beside you replies immediately, his head bobbing in a nod. He heads hastily towards the door.
"Maybe grab a cool compress for his cheeks too."
He nods again, dashing away.
"Poor little one," you sigh, cradling your baby to your chest as you tote him over to the chair in the far corner of his bedroom. "It must be so hard to be this small, huh?"
Tobio comes racing back into the room a few moments later, a variety of different teething toys and a baby-sized washcloth dampened with cool water in his hand.
"What's all this?" you ask him, watching as he drops his hoard of items on top of the dresser next to you.
"I wasn't sure which one he'd want," he says, looking down at the wide assortment of teething toys. He glances over at you sheepishly from the corner of his eye.
"Why don't you pick one out and see if he likes it," you say with a soft smile. Tobio nods resolutely, a determination in the set of his jaw. He looks down at the multitude of options he'd grabbed and considers them for a moment.
You watch as he reaches for one—a firm rubber toy shaped like a giraffe, designed for babies to chew on to soothe the ache of cutting teeth. You remember the day Tobio had picked it out, a look on his face not dissimilar to this one—intensely focused on the task—when your son still just a little bump, a fervent hope, hidden away under a Schweiden Adlers sweatshirt. You remember thinking the giraffe reminds you of the character on the milk he used to drink at lunch in high school, all those years ago.
He holds the toy up for you to see.
"I think that's a great one," you agree.
Hesitantly, Tobio approaches you and your baby in the chair, kneeling on the ground beside it. He slowly offers the little giraffe up to your son, whose eyes are heavy with the sleep that can't come to him through the pain of teething. The infant in your arms stops fussing momentarily, contemplating the toy held before his face with round, curious eyes.
He looks so much like Tobio.
You've thought it since the day he was born, but the fact becomes more true with every passing day. Sometimes you see a bit of yourself in his little face, an expression, or maybe something in the shape of his nose, but for the most part he's a carbon copy of his father.
But you don't really mind that.
Tobio watches with identically round blue eyes as your son pulls the slobbery little hand he'd been gnawing on from his mouth and uses it to reach for the toy. Both of you hold your breath.
He pops the giraffe immediately into his gummy mouth, head first.
It's too soon to breathe any real sigh of relief. You're both all too familiar with how quickly the tides of a baby's temperament can change—discontent flooding back violently just when you least expect it. But there's a palpable ease in both of you. A bit of the stress of the situation receding from the shore.
Tobio's eyes are still on your son, resting on your chest as he gums the toy his papa picked out for him. He's fussing less now, and when Tobio reaches up and gently pats the cool compress against his chubby, ruddy cheeks, the baby's eyes begin to slowly but surely flutter closed.
It's quiet in the nursery. Just the occasional gurgle, or slobbery little noise from the teething toy to be heard.
"He's so little," Tobio breathes, lifting the compress off baby's cheek now that it's mostly warmed through. He says it like he almost can't wrap his head around it, or that it's news to him, even though it's a remark he makes to you at least once a day—and has since the day your son was born.
"He is," you agree.
"I can't believe he won't always be this small," your husband goes on to add, and part of you wonders if this is the exhaustion talking. You stifle a laugh, letting your head loll against the back of the nursing chair to peer over at him.
"We'll miss this someday, y'know," you remark quietly, your tone a bit wry. And you mean it. All of it. Even the late nights and the loud crying and the panic.
The corner of Tobio's lips turn down ever so slightly, and you watch as he rubs at his chest, like it pains him.
"I feel like I already do sometimes," Tobio admits. "Like I miss him even though he's right there."
Your son's breathing has begun to slow to a normal, even pace, and his eyes have properly shut. You rub a little circle into his back with your thumb, your hand wide enough to span its width if you splay your fingers out.
Tobio looks at you with beseeching eyes. "Is that normal?"
You laugh lightly, reaching out to cup his cheek with the hand not holding your baby to your chest. He leans into your touch instinctively, his nose brushing against the heel of your palm as his eyes seek yours.
"I don't know," you admit to him quietly. After all, you're still new to this too. "Maybe."
Tobio nods a little with his face still cradled in your hand, his eyes fluttering down to your son once more.
And as you watch your husband carefully pry your sleeping son up from your chest and into his own arms; watch how he holds him in his big, big hands like there's nothing more precious in the world; watch how tenderly he sets him back into his crib, making sure the little giraffe is still safe in his little grip, a flash of pride behind his eyes at how attached the little boy is to the toy he chose for him; there's a warm, achy feeling that blooms underneath your ribs.
And you can't help but think that even if it isn't normal, you understand exactly what he means all the same.
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# #. GROCERY STORE !!
featuring : heartslaybul - octavinelle ! going grocery shopping is usually a mundane task, boring and usual. that is until the twst boys want to join you in your outing. you just hoped nothing would go wrong this time… for once…
pt.2 !!
and can I just say- OMG TYSM FOR LIKING MY WORK??? LIKE AKSHHDJAJUW???? I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDSS
# #. RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
Taking Riddle out grocery shopping is like taking a very well-behaved child out. He never strays away from you or the cart, and is oddly silent the entire time. However if you look closely you can see a small smile on his face.
He's never been to a grocery store before, due to his mom usually keeping him inside the house and getting them herself. So he can't help but be fascinated by the variety of things and contents of whatevers in the store. He definitely makes sure that no funny business goes on within the store though, he makes sure that everything he does is in order- it's kind of funny how stiff he is in a grocery store.
While out with Riddle, he will absolutely go to the mini bakery, inspecting the cakes, tarts, breads, and cookies. The aroma is enough to put a smile on his face. He probably picks up some ingredients for Trey too, and maybe for himself, if you'd like to help him in creating a tart that it?
10/10 he's so cute the entire trip and pays for you!! Consider it his gratitude for the strawberry tart you bought !
# #. TREY CLOVER
Trey probably needs to pick up some baking supplies while out with you, meaning that the two of you spend a lot of time in the baking aisle or in the mini bakery of the store. It gives him some inspiration when seeing all the different types of sweets and goodies around, perhaps he should bake some of them for you!!
Trey is always helpful, and it applies even more so at the grocery store. He helps store workers, random costumers, you. He tries the best he can, either by helping pick up grocery bags, or by carrying the slightly heavier stuff for you. Trey also walks around with the cart, going through aisle and aisle with you, never once complaining about being there for too long.
With him you don't really have to worry about anything either, he makes sure that you get everything on your checklist and that you don't buy unnecessary or unimportant items. It's kind of like going with a parental figure- or someone really calming.
10/10, man's bakes you a whole plethora of sweets- and going with him is one of the most calming trips ever.
# #. CATER DIAMOND
Cater makes Grocery shopping an experience. You know those pictures of people in carts? Or the ones where you're standing in an aisle doing something stupid? Yeah that's him, one hundred percent.
It's always so fun to go out with him though, no matter what kind if shenanigans you get into. He for sure buys a few spicy instant Ramen packs while out, actually he just buys a bunch of spicy stuff in general- not that you're complaining of course. Maybe he'll even buy some actual ingredients to try and recreate his favorite recipes with you!!
Cater tries to help out as best as he can too, by helping out with checkout or carrying certain things! He also has a nack at finding pretty- or the most appealing looking foods- due to his magicam, he knows how to get good angles and can find some of the best quality foods there is. The pictures he takes can make that one package of strawberries look like the most delectable thing ever.
8/10 he's a fun guy to go Grocery shopping with!! And you get to make Ramen with him once you get back home!
# #. ACE TRAPPOLA
As a contrast to Riddle- Ace is a big baby when going out Grocery shopping. He walks behind you, trying to annoy you in every possible way ever.
He purposely walks in front of the cart when you're about to move, has a grumpy face when being in the healthy section for too long, grabs a buttload of junk food- you don't mind but he'll share none of it with you. He does all of this with an annoying little smirk on his pretty boy face.
Although shopping with him has its downsides, he knows how to make it fun for you. He's the type to sometimes hijack and blast music into the store's speakers, dragging you along with him for a dance. He makes you sit in the carts basket, running around the store while pushing you. Does it make up for not sharing his snacks with you? Maybe. That cute smile on his face certainly does though !!
He's an annoying little shit but I love him for that. 6/10 just cause he's a stinky butt head <3 Oh and he does end up sharing his snacks in the end!
# #. DEUCE SPADE
Deuce is one of the best people to go shopping with. He trails behind you, only ever walking off when he needs to get something. He probably knows this grocery store like the back of his hand even though he's only been there like once.
Deuce knows the best deals to get as well, going grocery shopping with his mom definitely helped out a bunch. He knows what to do during a sale- running and squeezing through crowds of middle aged women to get that last carton of eggs. Think of miyamura from horimiya!!
He carries the bags back to the car, no matter how much or how heavy. Deuce also tries to split the bill with you, there's something so domestic about it, and he absolutely loves it. He always has a smile on his face whenever shopping, especially when it's with his favorite prefect!! Honestly Deuce's perfect date is probably going grocery shopping then riding off into the sunset on his blastcycle.
10/10 he's a very helpful and reliable man, its cute. He's cute. And with him you'll never forget your eggs.
# #. LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
I don't know what possessed Leona to want to go Grocery shopping with you and not just make you or Ruggie do it for him, but let's say he goes because he needs something.
He walks quietly next to you, looking out for what he needs while walking through the aisles. Unfortunately, after he gets whatever he needs he's a total asshole. He complains about being there for too long, and how he'd much rather be napping then in a store.
It's confusing because it was his car that you took here- he could easily just go sleep in it- or straight up leave if he wanted. Well I guess he was being nice enough to not just leave you in the dust. You wouldn't be surprised if he just randomly decided to lean on you whilst you walk, or he might knock stuff over and over for you to keep picking up. He's quite literally a cat.
4/10 he's another annoying shit- but its not so bad cause he's hot. Well at least he pays for you- right?
# #. RUGGIE BUCCHI
Ruggie is probably tagging along with you because he needs to get something for Leona. And he has to be one of the greatest shopping companions to have graced this world. He points out some of the best products that are also cheap, and knows how to get good deals and haggle with store owners.
Like Ace, he also makes the trip fun, well for him at least. Ruggie's idea of fun definitely contains snatching some wallets or free food while out. If you're at Costco he will take more samples than humanly possible. It's pretty funny- if you forget about the snatching wallets part.
Ruggie will also pay for you- using Leona's wallet!! He tells you over and over that Leona wouldn't even notice your purchase of groceries- no mater you end up getting. The hyena also knows how to get the good stuff for cheap, real cheap. It's honestly kind of a life saver to go shopping with him- he helps with everything.
8/10- he somehow can haggle a grocery store worker so you get everything for cheap- although you wished he wouldn't swipe wallets when with you--
# #. JACK HOWL
Jack is the Grocery man. He probably asked to join you just because he wanted to help out, no hidden motives or questions asked. He's so helpful it's honestly so sweet.
It's kind of funny to see a big beefy wolf man dragging around a grocery cart with a happy smile on his face. Honestly he just loves grocery shopping, its so him. He gets all the healthy stuff and protien shakes that'll help out with both of your bodies, he makes sure to leave room for some junk food in the cart though. Jack always helps out with the heavy stuff too, he carries the water cartons, soda, the eight cat trees you got just for Grim- It's like a mini workout for him!!
I can imagine him rushing when at self checkout, he's scanning those tomatoes like it's an Olympic sport. Oh- and he always gets some cactus seeds just in case !!
9/10 helpful wolf man for the win !!
# #. AZUL ASHENGROTTO
It's honestly so confusing why Azul would want to go Grocery shopping with you, did he want to start a farmers market or something?? You doubted he had anything to gain from it either. Like- who goes Grocery Shopping for a scheme??? Azul.
Other than thinking he's gonna do something behind your back while walking around the store, he's a pleasant companion! He basically just sticks to himself the whole time, pointing out things he finds interesting, or things he'd never seen before while in the sea. He's very fascinated by the variety of human items and stuff in just one store. Azul does try to be helpful sometimes, like picking out things that would benefit you both for the right price. Something tells you that if he ran his own grocery store everything in it would be way too overpriced--
He has to be scheming though, you can see him mumbling to himself while looking at the pricetags for certain items, and that gleam in his glasses isn't helping clear him of that suspicion one bit.
6/10 he's honestly not that bad- but you just know for a fact he's plotting something behind your back.
# #. JADE LEECH
Jade joins you on your endeavors to try and learn more about the surface. Of course, they have grocery stores down in the sea, but the things they carry are far more different from the things up here. He finds this a learning experience, like many other things.
Jade is they type to like a flea market the most, or an outdoor one at that. Being outside while shopping with the perfect is probably one of his favorite pastimes. He- like Azul- is pretty silent the entire time. He just enjoys being out in nature while exploring the vast marketplace!! If you're out at a flea market he might also try and haggle with the prices, well he wouldn't try- they'd just give it to him for cheaper because of his face.
He probably buys the two of you a bunch of mushroom including foods, and he probably buys some mushrooms just for himself. Perhaps they two of you can make some foods including them later, yes? That would certainly be a fun experience!
8/10 a very relaxing experience- a lot different from the others, but it's not like your complaining!
# #. FLOYD LEECH
Floyd either tries to squeeze into the baby seats of a shopping cart or stands on the side of it, towering over like the giant he is, letting you drag him around with a silly little smile on his face.
He puts whatever he wants into the cart, showing off things that you definitely don't need. Matching eel phone charms? He's making you buy it. A gummy candy in the shape of shrimp? Well duh he needs that!!
When not clinging onto the cart he's running around the store like a madman. It's quite scary if you think about it- a 6'1 eel man running around a grocery store, bumping into people without saying sorry. He makes it his mission to scare you. Popping up out of nowhere and shoving stuff into your face? Sounds fun!! Sneaking his head into the aisles you're in and watching you from afar like a creep? That's his favorite pastime!!
5/10 its fun to go out with Floyd- but also a hassle. Be forewarned before you agree to go out with him…
.
Honestly- why did you even say yes to shopping with them in the first place??
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts#trey clover#cater diamond#ace trappola#deuce spade#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech
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Love to Keep Me Warm
tara carpenter x reader — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
summary: you spend christmas with your girlfriend
warnings/themes: baking (burned) cookies, dancing around the kitchen (cliche but… I WANTTT), watching holiday movies, kissing under the mistletoe, matching pjs & sweaters, cuddles, and… a little bit suggestive convo at the end i guess???
words: 1.2k
me posting another fic then dipping for month/s 🏃💨 —divider not mine
Hallelujah, it's almost Christmas! the TV announces as the snow falls outside your window.
In the living room, a towering christmas tree stands, adorned with twinkling lights and sparkly ornaments. The smell of baked cookies wafts through the air, but the aroma is not as appetizing as you'd hoped.
Tara, standing beside you, looks at the black-burned cookies with wide eyes. “I followed the instructions, but these cookies are ruined! I waited 12 minutes for this?! It says 12 minutes!”
You sigh, knowing your girlfriend's cooking skills all too well.
“We tried, didn't we?” she mumbles, still staring at the burnt cookies.
With a smile, you say, “Let's give it another shot,” taking the pan and dumping the burnt cookies into the trash, ready to give it another shot. “Who knows, maybe a second time's the charm?” You pulled a new mixing bowl out of the cabinet and grabbed ingredients to start over.
“I don't understand why this keeps happening,” she says with a laugh. “I swear, I've never made a good batch of cookies in my life.”
“Well, you know what they say—the best cookies are the ones that come out of the oven, burnt to a crisp,” you joke, trying to cheer her up.
“Ha ha, very funny,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “But what do you think went wrong this time?”
“I'm thinking we might need to switch up the oven temperature,” you say, turning down the thermostat. “A lower temperature could be the key to perfect cookies.”
She nods in agreement, and the two of you continue working together on the cookie madness, having a laugh and chatting it up while mixing, rolling, baking, and waiting for the cookies to finish.
“Hold up a minute,” you say, grabbing your phone. You browse your spotify christmas playlist for the perfect tune. “Christmas simply wouldn't be complete without these Christmas bangers.” You placed your phone on the counter.
You dance around the kitchen in matching pajamas and your matching ugly christmas sweaters, giggling and singing along to the christmas playlist. You dip her and spin her around, making her laugh hysterically. You both twirl and prance, bumping into each other like two drunken elves at a company party.
You're having so much fun that you completely forgot about the cookies until the timer went off. The two of you rushed to the oven, excited to see how the cookies turned out. When you opened the oven, you were delighted to see perfectly golden-brown cookies. They smell heavenly, and you can't wait to taste them.
“Ahhhh, this is the best Christmas ever!" Tara exclaims, picking up the first cookie and taking a bite out of it. “I think Santa is going to love these cookies,” she giggles.
“They're perfect.” You take another bite, licking the chocolate chips off your finger with a satisfied smirk. She gives you a small kiss on the cheek and then takes another bite of her cookie.
“Oh, we have to decorate these.” She grabs a green frosting tube and squirts it recklessly onto the first cookie.
You laugh and join in, squirting red, yellow, blue, and other colors onto the cookies until they are covered head to toe in messy frosting.
“We need to add sprinkles!” Together, you run to the cupboard and rifle through the bags of sprinkles, trying to find the perfect ones.
After a few minutes of frantic searching, you come up with a variety of glittery, sparkly, and edible colors that you toss all over the cookies.
“Voila!” Tara says, holding up a cookie for you to see.
“These are the most horrible, beautiful christmas cookies ever.” you say as you examine the colorful, messy, and probably delicious masterpiece.
“You know what would make this even better? Some hot chocolate,” she says, grabbing a pot.
You both grab a mug and fill it up with hot chocolate. The steam rises from the cups, and the fragrance of chocolate fills the air.
“To another year of cookie disasters,” Tara says, raising her mug.
“To cookie disasters,” you reply, clinking mugs.
—
At last, you two finished cleaning the kitchen. The counters are empty, the dishes are washed and dried, and the oven is turned off.
“Looks like everything was a success,” Tara says, admiring the clean kitchen.
You pick up the cookies and hot chocolate, inviting her to join you on the plush couch.
You sit on the couch with blankets wrapped around you, hot chocolate in hand, and cookies on the coffee table.
“Let's see what we have on Christmas eve.” She reached for the remote and flipped through the channels, eventually finding a holiday movie to watch.
Snuggled under the blanket, you sip your hot chocolate and eat your cookies. The movie is heartwarming, and you both feel your stress melt away.
“You know, I've always wanted to spend Christmas like this,” she says, leaning her head against your shoulder.
You smile and wrap your arm around her, pulling her close to you. “Yeah, me too,” you say, kissing her on the forehead.
You glance at her, trying to hide the shy smile on your face.
She quirks her eyebrow at you, her full lips curving into a playful smile. “What?” Her hand sliding onto your arm and pulling you closer. “Are you admiring the scenery?”
You quickly stand up, pretending to check something in the kitchen. You can feel Tara's eyes on you, waiting to see what you're up to.
When you return, you're holding something behind your back that Tara can't quite identify. You sit next to her and reach behind her head, placing something on top of both of your heads. A mistletoe.
“You really know how to surprise me.”
She leans in, placing her finger on your jaw and pulling you closer until your lips meet hers. The warm, sweet taste of a mix of chocolate and marshmallows fills your mouth.
With your free hand, you reach behind her head, pulling her closer to you. She wraps her arms around your neck, bringing you even closer.
Your noses touch as your lips stay locked together, and the warmth of each other's breath sends shivers down your spine.
Tara pulls away, breathless and flushed. You both sit there, stunned, savoring the moment and the feeling of being so close to each other.
Finally, she breaks the silence. “You know what would make this evening even better?” She asks you with a sly grin.
“What? Are you hungry for more already?” you respond with a laugh.
She stands up and walks to the entrance of the bedroom. Reaching the doorway, she looks back at you, arching an eyebrow as if she's daring you to follow her.
Before you know it, you're following her into the bedroom. The door closes with a soft click, shutting out the rest of the world.
But you're greeted by the unexpected sight of Tara peacefully sleeping in bed. You can't help but let out a disappointed sigh.
She sees you standing over her then gives you a mischievous grin. “What? Were you expecting something?”
You shake your head. “No, no, I just thought…”
“Thought what?”
“I thought we were going to…” you begin to say before trailing off.
“Oh, you thought wrong,” Tara says, throwing back the covers and inviting you to join her.
She opens her arms wide and smiles at you, inviting you to cuddle up with her.
“But you know what?” you say, burying yourself in the crook of her neck. “I think I prefer this.”
tara:
dsajhdahda anyways... (advance) merry christmas! <3
#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega#jenna ortega imagines#jenna x reader#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter#scream vi#scream#merry christmas#tara carpenter imagines
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Currently losing my mind a little bit trying to find an alternate name for the Recursive Transform Array/Abstract Convergence Manifold regions in Five Pebbles/Looks to the Moon respectively. I think both names mean roughly the same thing.
(Left: Coils in the Recursive Transform Array, Right: Coils in the Abstract Convergence Manifold)
(Theorizing under the cut)
Both regions contain sets of large transformers (or inductors, they both look like coils) arranged into different groups. I assume the function of this region is to receive power from an iterator's power source (how iterators get their power isn't exactly clear- but at least in Pebbles' case it probably comes from the Linear Systems Rail) and step up or down the voltage so it can be distributed to the different electronic components of an iterator's superstructure as needed.
Stepping up/down voltage is the function of a transformer, which is where I assume the "transform" part of "Recursive Transform Array" comes from. In Moon's case, "abstract" in "Abstract Convergence Manifold" is a synonym for "transform" or "change", one thing is being abstracted, or changed into something else.
"Recursive" means "repeating" (and "repeat" is a synonym of "iterate", funnily enough), so this part probably refers to the multiple similar transformers found in the Recursive Transform Array.
In terms of the Abstract Convergence Manifold, either "convergence" or "manifold" could correspond to the "multiple similar things" meaning. The objects in question are "converging", coming together, or being similar.
"Manifold" is a bit trickier, the general definition means "variety" or "many", but the word has other uses. In typography, it can refer to the process of making copies of a document (via a carbon copy), and in engineering it can refer to a component that distributes gas or liquid to different parts of a system. So in this case, I'm going to assume that "manifold" means "copies" and/or "distribution". This makes sense if the Abstract Convergence Manifold distributes power (or maybe even Void Fluid) to different parts of Moon's structure.
And finally, "array" in "Recursive Transform Array" means a group of things arranged in a pattern. This is also probably what "manifold" in "Abstract Convergence Manifold" means; a group of copies of things.
Based on this, both names basically mean "group of similar/repeating things that change". This might not just refer to the groups of transformer coils, but also to the big square structures that both Pebbles and Moon have in these regions:
(These rooms are very dark, I'm only showing Pebbles' here because it's better lit than Moon's.)
This thing looks like a big computer chip, maybe a Central Processing Unit (CPU). I theorize that this room is where the majority of an iterator's processing takes place; where the actual iteration (in terms of computing: repeating a process) happens. So the things that are repeating and changed could be the actual iterative processes (simulations, thoughts, calculations) are carried out, altered slightly, and repeated again.
(Side tangent: I've always wondered what Pebbles was referring to when he mentioned his "processing strata". It might be layers of processors located in his Recursive Transform Array, possibly in the same big room as the square thing. Personally I think the processing strata are the little blinking lights you can see in the background of this room, but I could be wrong. If anyone actually knows the answer please let me know.)
TL,DR: If you have an iterator OC and you want to give their internal regions names but you don't want to simply copy existing ones, I'm pretty sure the naming convention for the transformer arrays uses synonyms for (similar/repeating) (change) (group). For example, "Sequential Flux Assemblage", "Parallel Modification Cluster". These sound silly, but basically everything iterator-related is silly technobabble, so I think the moral is to have fun with it.
Thank you for reading, and let me know if you have any ideas. I enjoy talking to people about random Rain World theories.
#this is another theory spiral I fell down while trying to flesh out OC lore. enjoy#rain world#iterators#rain world iterator#rw iterator#personal#delta’s wild lore speculation corner#rain world theory
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— 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 ⊹
characters. albedo, budo masuta, ganyu, kusuo saiki, neito monoma, raibaru fumetsu, teruko tawaki, + wanderer/scaramouche
desc. how some of my favorite characters would react to you wiping away their kiss for a prank!!!
notes. i love this idea so much and i want to try it out (if i actually had a life)
𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐎 ⊹
we already know that albedo is a little bit of a tease. although he may not show it in his face.
he'd probably catch on as soon as you try anything. which is why you need to do this when he's tired. after he's done a lengthy experiment is the perfect time to try this out.
he comes back home to you, waiting for see your face. that's all he really cares about right now. you peek from your room, seeing his face down the hallway. you smile and speed towards him, throwing yourself onto him while giving him a big hug.
"hi, 'bedo. how was your day?" you ask, seemingly innocent.
"it was alright," he sighed, quickly pressing a small kiss on your temple as he walked to put his things down. he looks up in the mirror to see you wiping his kiss away.
he definitely was not expecting that, especially after you almost tackled him from running so quickly down the hallway. there's a few possibilities he'd think might be the reason for this.
— you're mad at him because he did something.
— you're mad because someone else did something and you're taking it out on his kisses.
— no one directly did anything, so you're mad at everyone.
— this is a prank.
and, from the way you turned to look at him and immediately snapped your head back when you made eye contact (don't think that he didn't see your smile), he figured it was the last one.
but he was definitely feeling a little scared at first. he thought he did something wrong and couldn't tell. he just looked at your with his signature blank expression with a slight smirk.
"what are you doing?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"hmm?" you slowly turn around, doing your best to hide your smile. although you're doing it quite well, albedo notices everything.
you barely notice as he grabs your hands quickly, before placing a kiss in the exact same spot as earlier. he holds your hands firmly, not allowing you to move them.
you decide to take it a step further. you nuzzle into his neck as if you're giving him a hug, and wipe the kiss yet again, using albedo instead of your hand. he doesn't know how much more obvious you could make it that this is a prank.
as soon as you look back up again, you are attacked by a kiss. with absolutely no warning. he gives you no time to react, therefore leaving you with no time and no way to remove the kiss.
"it was a nice try," albedo says. "maybe, next time—you don't make it so easy for me to understand."
you glance at the teasing look he has on his face. it's amazing what little variety his facial expressions have, yet you can still tell what they are.
"that's not fair, 'bedo." you sigh.
he chuckles lightly before kissing you once again.
𝐁𝐔𝐃𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐔𝐓𝐀 ⊹
he's the sweetest boy. there's no need to do this to him.
oh, but how you love to torture him. he puts up with it, so there's no harm. he understands it's all playful.
he loves giving you kisses. just passing by you in the halls, meeting up in his clubroom for lunch, seeing each other after school... none of them are complete without at least a quick smoochie.
so, of course, you try and prank him.
you're walking around the school after your last period, and you're calmly walking when you get the idea. he's already got an arm around you, so it's inevitable that he'll lean in to try and land a kiss on your cheek.
you know him so well. he does the exact action mere seconds later. you don't even spare him a glance as you wipe it away, but you give him a quick giggle.
he stops dead in his tracks. "did—did you just..?"
"did i just what?" you say, turning around, with a confused expression plastered onto your face.
he's just thinking what he possibly did wrong.
'is it because i didn't give them any of my lunch??'
'or, maybe i said something and didn't notice!!'
he's lost in his own thoughts. his hand is on his chin, and he's looking down to the ground, going through the entire day in his head.
you kind of just stand there... waiting to see if he'll realize. but, he's completely out. he can't hear you whisper his name to get him out of the trance.
"budo..!"
you wave your hands, but not even motion is getting him out.
you give in, officially throwing in the towel in terms of carrying out the prank.
you throw your arms around him and press a long, sweet kiss to his lips.
"sorry, budo. i was only playing." you smile, placing another one directly on his forehead.
he blinks a couple times before sighing in relief, taking your face in his hands before kissing you again.
"don't do that, y/n. i thought i was going to drop dead right there." he sighs before laughing, his hand on his forehead.
"i'll drop dead before i actually wipe your kisses." you grin, reassuring him with a big hug.
𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐔 ⊹
she will definitely react the most out of them all.
she's already nervous about everything, no need to make her self-conscious about her kisses!!
yet, somehow, you thought that pranking her would be a good idea.
you're both sitting on one of the cliffs in liyue. you're smelling the clouds through your nose, as you lay your head on ganyu's shoulder.
she's already partially asleep, but she wakes herself up enough to give you a kiss to your temple. you, with a sly smirk, then brush the kiss away.
she doesn't believe her eyes, at first. after that, she goes into full panic mode.
her eyes are wide open as she stares off into space. she is going insane in her head.
'nooo. no. did i do something?? do they hate me?? am i a failure???'
her hands move to rest on her cheeks on the sides of her face. hee face is slightly turning pink at how much she's embarrassed.
'is it my breath?? should i have eaten sweet flowers instead of qingxins this morning?? i knew they were too bitter..'
you can literally see the steam coming out of her ears. putting her through any more of this would literally be a form of torture.
you gently turn to grab her hands. you hold them in yours and bring them down, encouraging ganyu to look you in the eyes. you whisper an apology as you press a kiss to her nose.
she honestly looks relieved just to see that you don't hate her.
"i was pranking you, ganyu. 'm sorry.." you sigh, bringing her in closer for another kiss.
she nods and strokes your hair, smiling at you. "that's alright, y/n."
you slightly back up and motion to your lap. you gently pull her down so that her head is laying in your lap, soothing her mind as you place another kiss on the top of her head.
𝐊𝐔𝐒𝐔𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐈 ⊹
he's wearing his germanium ring. it's time to strike.
you couldn't help but notice saiki seeming a little more at peace than normal. if you could consider his normal at peace.
of course, it's all due to the thought-cancelling ring. so, you took the opportunity to finally be able to do something without him catching on.
you crept up next to him, snuggling your head into his neck. he'd never been one for physical affection, but this was the only way to coerce him into giving you a kiss without explicitly saying it. and he was smart enough to figure out what you if you would've told him.
he opened an eye to see you, and then lightly pecked you on the cheek before returning to his activity... whatever it was.
you casually wiped the kiss off, slightly turning your head to make sure saiki saw. he definitely did.
his eyes intensify as he stares at you with an extremely surprised expression.
"hello. i go out of my way to kiss you, something you're always begging me to do, and you wipe it off?"
you raise your eyebrows at his immediate reaction.
"what are you talking about?" you ask, trying your best to appear clueless.
his face looks a little gloomier now. he sighs and turns away.
you smile at the reaction, but feel a little bad. so, you crawl over to him and give him a small kiss on the lips.
"sorry, i thought it would be funny." you whisper, smiling softly. he grumbled something under his breath and pulled you in for another kiss.
"it wasn't. if you do it again, i'm sending you to point nemo."
𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐌𝐀 ⊹
you were finally settling down after a long day of training. stretching your back and reaching your arms until you felt relief, you twirled into your bed, directly into neito's arms.
"hm? did someone miss me?" he smiles, beaming at you. "of course you'd love me. i'm much better than everyone in that stupid class 1-a. i'm sure you were dying to see me."
"and just when i thought i could get some peace..." you groan dramatically, turning towards his chest.
"it's your fault for being in class 1-a, you should ask for a transfer to class 1-b!! you'd fit in a lot better than with those losers!!" he laughs, tapping you on the nose.
"neito..." you say, with a warning tone to your voice.
"sorry, sorry," he smiles, pressing a soft and sweet kiss to your lips. poor boy, he had no idea what you were planning. he'd fallen right into your trap.
with a seemingly straight face, you wipe the kiss with the back of your hand, dragging it out as long as possible without making it obvious that you were playing with him.
"excuse me??" he gasps, raising his eyebrows and lowering his jaw. the look on his face was comical. "what was that?"
"what was what?" you say, still able to keep your smile contained. "i didn't do anything."
"did... did you really care that much about what i said about your classmates??" he had a whiny look on his face.
you let out a small laugh, but it sounded like more of a 'pfft' than a 'HAHAH'. you bit your lip in hopes of preventing the rest of it from escaping, but you'd already failed.
"ha ha ha, you're so funny. keep my kisses." he says with a squint, applying several more kisses to your face, moving at a quick enough pace that you were unable to block him.
"ahh!!! neito!!!" you squeal, fanning your hands at his face in an attempt of getting him to relieve your face.
he'd already gotten you immobile as he plastered dozens more of kisses onto your face. your face felt breezy by the time he was done, letting you know that no part of your face had been left unkissed.
𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐔 𝐅𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔 ⊹
she notices everything. if she can sense someone 5 feet away with a knife, she will definitely notice your little trick.
but that fact doesn't stop you from trying.
you're sitting at the school fountain with her, eating lunch. she feeds you a dumpling as you thank her with a mumble, covering your mouth.
she chuckles and kisses your cheek, and that's the moment of action. you dramatically drag your hand across the side of your face, causing her to turn her head towards you.
her eyes are open wide, but she doesn't look sad. simply surprised. "y/n? what'd you do that for? did you not like the dumpling?" she asks, looking towards her food.
you shake your head and shrug. "the dumpling was really good... what are you talking about?" she notices the trace of a smile on your lips, and then her face returns to normal.
she sighs with a laughing smile on her face. "y/n, was that really just a prank??"
"what? was what a prank? i don't know what you're referring to." you look away, kicking your legs as a distraction.
"hello? the kiss!" she giggles, setting her lunch beside her. "why'd you wipe it away?"
"i don't know what you're talking about, rai." you sigh, straightening your posture. you're just totally telling the truth.
she doesn't think you're this clueless. she quickly leans in and sticks another kiss on your cheek. you reach to get rid of it once more, but she catches your hand.
you're doing your best to keep down your laugh. you reach with the other hand—almost nonchalantly. before you know it, she grabs that one too.
she smiles and simply looks at you, waiting to see what you're going to do next.
you can't hold it in anymore. you start laughing so hard, you fall forward and knock raibaru off the bench. which, in turn, only causes you both to laugh more.
so, passerby can look to the fountain to see two students laughing in shambles.
𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐔𝐊𝐎 𝐓𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐈 ⊹
after being with you, she realized that kisses are actually one of her favorite activities. you can lure her out of her room with a promise of a kiss.
and she will hold you until you melt. you can literally just be sitting there, and she will pepper your face all over. so... of course, you decided to mess with her a bit.
you were doing your own separate activities on the couch. you were reading, and she was simply resting. suddenly, you heard the couch creak and felt teruko's body turn.
you expected what was coming next. you felt her lips rushing to your cheek, leaving a small spot. you knew she hadn't closed her eyes yet, so you seized the moment.
you wiped the kiss away with your wrist, returning to your book as if nothing happened.
and she. is just. flabbergasted??
you.. huh?
she slowly orbits her head towards your face, giving you the worst glare of the 21st century. you can literally see the shadow falling onto her face.
"y/n." she says, still holding onto you, pressing slightly harder as a caution. "i'm going to need you to explain."
she's already got trust issues. what is she supposed to do in this situation?? she can't really take your kisses hostage.
you sigh, discouraged that you were already discovered. "aww, you caught me." you put a fake pout on your face, finally looking into teruko's eyes. they're very scary.
"that's not what i asked." she says, lowering her voice further, turning you to look up at her. she's hovering over you, very obviously expecting an explanation.
"well... it was only a prank." you smile. you can't help but let a giggle escape at how passionate she was about a simple peck.
"uh huh. show me." she snaps, furrowing her eyebrows as she lowers herself closer to your face.
you smirk and press her face closer, finally giving her the kiss she wanted. "you don't see me wiping away your kisses," she grumbled, pulling away and leaning back into the couch.
she had a satisfied look on her face, though, and she hugged you tighter. but, if you ever do that again, don't expect her to be so patient with you. she will pounce.
𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑/𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄 ⊹
"you're exhausting..." you heard from behind you, the bells on scaramouche's hat jingling softly.
"i'm just trying to be healthy, explore nature. it'd be good for you to touch some grass sometime, ya know?" you tease, a giggle escaping your mouth.
"you—never mind..." he grumbled, getting closer to you and putting his arms around you.
"someone's awfully clingy today." you slip, giving him a playful glance.
"would you really prefer it if i wasn't?" he asks sweetly, pressing a kiss to your temple. he's almost being too cute to mess with right now.
but, you had priorities. with a huff, you brush your hands where he kissed you, wiping it away. you didn't look directly at him so that it'd be natural, but in your peripheral vision, you saw the most devastated look ever.
his jaw was on the ground. "you did not just do that." he growls.
"do what?" you smile. then get tackled by an angry scaramouche. "—hey!!" you yelp.
he traps you in his arms, holding you close and tight. he kisses you with no warning, straight on the lips, going for the gold. you could've sworn that he was more passionate than some normal kisses.
"you," he says in between each long kiss. "are not allowed," he grumbles. "to get rid of my kisses." he says firmly, looking you in the eyes.
you giggle at how easily he gave in, getting so angry at the prank.
"it was a joke, dummy." you tease.
"this definitely isn't." he smirks, leaning in close as he amorously kisses you one last time.
notes. guys keep in mind i'm only like one episode into season 6 of my hero so monoma may potentially be a little ooc (as well as others)... but i'm catching up as fast as i can i'm so sorry 🤧🤧
anyways... guys what do i do if i get the same req in different fonts (not literal fonts) 🫡
#albedo#albedo x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#budo x reader#yandere simulator#ganyu#ganyu x reader#saiki k#budo masuta#kusuo saiki#saiki k x reader#scaramouche x reader#monoma x reader#scaramouche#mha x reader#tdlosk#monoma neito#monoma#bnha x reader#budo#yandere simulator x reader#raibaru fumetsu#budo masuta x reader#raibaru x reader#teruko#teruko tawaki#danganronpa#teruko x reader#reader fic
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Hi! Really love your stories they always scratch my brain (*≧∀≦*)❤️, so I got an idea and wanted to ask what you think about it
I got this question with Sunday on the minigame/event (idk what to call it lol)
"Just as you're about to pull a dusty hard-leatherback book, you hear a gentle whisper within earshot, "Averoy Rosewood's works are notorious for their obscurity," the Oak Family Head Sunday faintly smiles at you. "Perhaps you need more elaboration."
(I couldn't put the image since anon asks don't allow me to put images😮💨, but it's from a Board Encounter in Cosmodyssey)
and when I read it my brain immediately went WHAT IF SUNDAY FILLS THE READER WITH A VIBRATOR ON THE LIBRARY, and him just watching in amusement as he talks about books and asking her questions about them while he plays with the levels of vibrations with a control on his hands and she just struggles to make sentences, so he goes and asks "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" To tease her and remind that she's in a public space and can't make much noise unless she wants everyone to know about what they're doing.
Hmm... I wrote this about Sunday, but I feel like maybe it could be about Jing Yuan or Aventurine 🤔, anyways sorry if it sounds weird my brain sometimes goes into unga bonga mode when I think about these men.
Sincerely,
An unhinged anon.
Thank you for telling me. I experienced this event and read the content of Sunday helping us in the library!! Wrote a little bit, I hope you like it 💗🫶
cw: yandere, non-con, abuse of power, abuse of credit, vibrator, harassment
How about you being the librarian at The Family Library? A nerdy librarian. The Family claims that this is a library open to everyone to read and borrow, covering a variety of books and hologram collections.
Sunday, the leader of the Oak Family noticed you. He can accurately talk to you about your interests, hobbies and ideals, and encourage you…but one thing is that you are not religious enough in your belief in harmony. You are too withdrawn…and cannot integrate into The Family. Sing hymns, participate in activities, and protect The Family, others can do it, but what can you do? He cannot allow you to continue in this position under these circumstances. You panicked, grabbing his sleeves and pleading with him through tears. "W-what, I really believe Lord Xipe…I need this job badly! Please Mr. Sunday…"
He offered a plan. He used his gloves to push a delicate small box in front of you. You must put two vibrators in your underwear while on duty to test your professional abilities. If you can tolerate sinful sexual pleasure, you qualify for this position.
"But… Mr. Sunday, can I-can I take a break?"
"Of course. I'm not here to torture you. This is for your and everyone's happiness and harmony, I hope you understand." His words ignited the hope in your heart. "You have 2 hours a day to take them down. Allocate your own time. After get off work, you head to my office and I will check on your progress. You must do this every working day."
"Check?" Your heart sank into the starry sky and was crushed. "Okay. Mr. Sunday..."
These two vibrators… are pearl white and have an angel wings pattern on them. It's silent, but it delivers a surge of pleasure to your private parts, sometimes fast and sometimes slow down. It's not much better when it's slow - it's a long, quiet torture that gives you no relief. You kept your legs still and sorted your books and documents, your underwear getting wet. Every half minute, you check like a hawk to see if you have wet your clothes, fearing that it has become a joke in the eyes of others…
He occasionally wanders into the library to check on your work and ask you to recommend books in a certain category or answer questions about the collection.
"What's wrong? Are you feeling uncomfortable?" Sunday approached you with caring eyes and ruthlessly pushed the controller frequency to the highest level. You lowered your head, holding back tears, your legs trembling. "I-I'm fine. Mr. Sunday. Thank you for your concern."
This kind-hearted gentleman and leader offers to take you to another secluded corner of the library to rest. On the road, Sunday dials down the vibration frequency and doesn't crank it up until you get to the corner. The intense ecstasy immediately hits you to the extreme and stimulates your nerves. You endured your moans, trembling in Sunday's arms as you reached orgasm. His hands caressed your hair like a lovable pet. He commented that your ability to endure needs to be improved.
After you get off work, Sunday asks you to take off all your clothes in the office and fold them on the table. He uses white gloves to inspect and rub your private parts, circling them with his thumb. In the watery light, those fingers slowly inserted between your legs and twitched. He clicked his tongue in disappointment when he realized that his fingers were already wet enough to slide into the inner walls before being inserted. "Not religious enough, are you? What are you thinking about? You're letting pleasure take over your body."
"...I'm sorry!! Mr. Sunday, Please give me a chance…" you begged with a sob, then cummed hard at his disappointed sigh.
#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#sunday x reader#yandere honkai star rail#honkai star rail x you#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#honkai x reader
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I need to vent about Watcher, endure it if you can
Relax, this isn't a parasocial thing, but it is a long ass post, which suits me as a long ass human.
I need an outlet to discuss the terrible business decision Watcher has made by announcing their plan to leave YouTube, and this long-forgotten Tumblr account reached from its grave to grab at my ankle.
If you didn't see their video, good for you. It's extremely cringe-worthy in its sentimentality and editing, with blurry shots, pensive pauses and obligatory sad piano.
But at least there's no f'ing Ukulele.
Although, I think we might get the Ukulele in a few months.
Even though anyone who reads this is probably familiar with what the "Ghoul Boys" have done, I feel as though I need to add a little history.
WATCHER HISTORY
You can skip this part if you've been obsessively following the shenanigans, this is for the noobs who were never a "shaniac" or a "boogara".
Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara used to work at Buzzfeed. They hosted the successful Buzzfeed Unsolved shows. In 2019 they followed in the footsteps of the Try Guys and Safia Nygaaard and left Buzzfeed to create their own YouTube channel named "Watcher".
They brought along Steven Lim, another Buzzfeed person who is most known for the "Worth It" series. This series followed Lim and his friend/s spending obscene amounts of money on obscenely overpriced and indulgent products.
Think of it as being similar to the $100 V's $10,000 Sidemen content, only without the self-awareness and British "bad lads" humor.
Notably, even the Sidemen seem to have cut back on those adventures, perhaps understanding how bad it looks when so many people are struggling to pay their essential bills.
Steven became the CEO of Watcher while Shane and Ryan continued to create and present for the new channel.
They were wildly successful by YouTube standards. At the time of their self-spanking on Friday they were close to achieving 3 million subscribers, in just 4 years, based on basically only 2 cornerstone shows. If Social Blade is still a reasonably trusted source in everything but estimating income, they were gaining thousands of new subscribers every week.
Their most successful shows were Ghost Files, Puppet History, Too Many Spirits and Mystery Files.
Ghost Files is the only one of these shows which requires heavy investment, travel, a large crew and impressive production costs. These videos are shot on-location and require a lot of work. The rest are basically Good Mythical Morning style, just the two hosts and their banter.
Aside from Ghost Files, their content could be created with 3 cameras, 2 lapel mics and a good editor.
They were massively successful, solely because of Ryan and Shane.
THE DEMISE
So, what did they do on Friday 19th April? They decided to announce the launch of their own subscription platform.
Not a Patreon for extra content, behind-the-scenes, audience interaction etc, (they already had a Patreon with 6,000 paying subscribers earning them at least $50k a month), but a bespoke streaming platform which looks like a clone of Netflix.
The cost is $5.99 a month, or $60 a year.
Comparable to Netflix.
And by that I mean the price is comparable to Netflix while the content is comparable to a 4 year old YouTube channel.
Don't get me wrong, their production quality is incredible. The quantity, however, is not.
From the end of May viewers will have to pay to be a subscriber on their own platform in order to watch their shows.
They'll still be posting their trailers on YouTube, and the first episodes of new shows, but to watch it all you'll have to pay up or miss out.
Edited to add: Variety originally reported the Watcher crew were planning to remove all their existing content from YouTube to monetize it on their own platform. It's since been confirmed they will not be removing their old content. Fans are undecided whether this was a back-track after the announcement or a misunderstanding by Variety. You be the judge.
Of course, they're entitled to do this. They are creating a product and you can either enjoy it or not. No one is entitled to see it, for free, whenever they like.
Why did they do this?
Half of the sombre video gushes about their "humble beginnings" as "struggling young guys in a big harsh world", which comes across as extremely self-indulgent and ego-stroking.
A quarter of it explains how insanely successful they've been on YouTube and how this is all thanks to the fans who stuck with them after Buzzfeed, how it's allowed them to hire 25 people, how it's given them the freedom to create what they enjoy making and what the viewers want to see, and - most importantly - how it's allowed them to increase production quality on Ghost Files.
The final quarter of the video explains that this isn't good enough, the quality isn't high enough, the finish not glossy enough, it's not "TV caliber" enough! They want more, they need more, you have to give them more, mostly (apparently) because their CEO Steven Lim wants to bring back his show where he flies around the world with his bestie sipping Champagne and eating gold-leaf-covered lobster.
In short, they want more money to make even bigger things, even though their audience never asked for that.
WHY IT WILL NOT WORK
Oh my goodness, this is going to be a ride so strap in.
I'm not a YouTube creator so there are a lot of things I do not know. Having said that, I know a little about business.
This ain't Buzzfeed, y'all
Watcher became successful because of Ryan and Shane. It was their friendship, their personalities, and the content we loved to watch featuring them at Buzzfeed, that brought us along for the ride.
The audience they poached from Buzzfeed is there for them and Ghost Files. It's not there for Steven Lim and "Worth It". His show worked under the Buzzfeed umbrella only because they had numerous sub-categories in that community to support it.
The Try Guys left and created their own channel from their Buzzfeed fans.
Safia Nygaard left and created her own channel from her Buzzfeed fans.
Shane and Ryan left and created Watcher from their Buzzfeed fans.
Steven Lim left and became the CEO of Watcher. He didn't take his audience with him.
The audience of Watcher is not the audience of "watch me fly around the word with my pal and spend $100K on hand-reared, Whiskey marinaded, diamond-encrusted Kobe steak".
And... IN THIS ECONOMY?
Steven chose to become a CEO instead of a presenter. He's missed the opportunity to take that Buzzfeed audience with him.
This is made clear by the Watcher channel itself. Their "man eats food" content rarely breaks 500K views while their Ghost Files breaks 2 million consistently.
If a million of their viewers followed them from Buzzfeed to Watcher, the other 2 million have joined them since, based almost entirely on their spoopy content.
Not only did they base their channel on this genre and format, they have distilled their audience further ever since the creation of their channel and no matter how hard they try to diversify into "man eats food" it's just not working.
This ain't Netflix, y'all
As mentioned, the $5.99 charge is comparable to Netflix and just about every other streaming platform. Only Watcher can't give you even 5% of what a competing platform can offer for that price.
Other platforms also tailor their content and their pricing based on geographical location and localized economics.
You're paying far less than $5.99 a month if you live in an economy where the median household income is $300 a month. YouTube has a global audience. Their subscribers don't all live in a stable economy where $5.99 is considered disposable income.
We don't know the numbers, but I would guess only 60% of their subscribers are based in the USA, Canada, and the UK.
Even for those who do live in a stable economy, their audience is predominantly young adults and students. Most young adults are currently facing the reality that they will possibly never own their own home, they're living day-to-day trying to budget.
They've instantly priced-out a large % of their audience.
I confidently predict that diehard fans who can't see anything wrong with this will sign up for $5.99 a month, binge watch for a couple of weeks, realize there's no new spoopy content and cancel.
They'll come back when a full season of Ghost Files has arrived, pay again, binge it and leave.
Steven Lim thinks they're gonna get $5.99 a month, every month, from thousands of subscribers. In reality they're going to get maybe $12 a year, from people signing up to binge watch what they want, then leaving.
This will then decline naturally as attention wanes during the months where there is no spoopy.
This ain't good marketing, y'all
They're going to be posting "trailers and season pilots" on YouTube.
Sure, I bet YouTube is gonna be totes okay with a channel doing nothing but trying to hijack traffic for an external site.
Posting nothing but trailers and season premiers will mean maybe one full video per month during busy seasons. That's not enough to remain relevant for the algorithm.
If 80% of those posts are also just trailers saying "leave YouTube and come here", the channel will be smacked down quicker than a crypto scam using an AI generated Elongated Muskrat.
Their channel was growing steadily, but that was with full content regularly posted. When the schedule drops off, and when most of it is considered spammy by YouTube, it's going to collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
A streaming platform needs a constant flow of new subscribers just to replace the gradual drop-off (maybe ask Rooster Teeth about that). When your global audience at YouTube is gone, where are those new subscribers coming from?
The platform is also an additional overhead. It's going to cost thousands a month to keep the servers going.
This ain't good financial management, y'all
I don't know if they've already spent hundreds of thousands of $s on Lim's "men eat food" gamble, but I suspect they have.
I know they have spent hundreds of thousands of $s on a new season of Ghost Files, flying to the UK to host live events while filming those episodes.
This means they've over-extended their finances just at the moment where they've cratered their opportunities to see a return on investment.
Just that, on its own, is enough to destroy a production company.
They do not need 25 employees any more than I need an editor and proof-reader for this long ass post.
They do not need a production studio in Hollywood any more than I needed an office to write this.
They do not need to spend tens of thousands of $s on glossy graphics that appear on screen for maybe 4 seconds in one episode any more than I needed to add screengrabs to this painfully long essay.
By leaving YouTube they've lost:
Adsense revenue (which might not be much on a per-video basis but adds up with a back catalogue over years of productions)
Sponsorship deals, which allegedly contributes almost 50% of their annual revenue.
Merch sales, which is about to crash if the only people they can promote merch to are already paying per month in their smaller ecosystem.
Patreon. Why would someone pay $5.99 twice, for the same or less content?
And they've abandoned all of this for maybe a few thousand people who will probably end up paying just $12 a year when a new spoopy season arrives for them to binge.
I'm no Will Hunting, but no matter how hard I try to make the numbers work they just don't, and I don't need Robin Williams to tell me it's not my fault.
This ain't nice, y'all
Some of you are feeling like Ned's wife right now, and some of you will have no idea what that's in reference to.
Most of you will hate that I made that reference more than you hated the SNL skit.
I get it.
Maybe the worst part about all of his, from a viewer's perspective, is the dismissive nature of their sign-off.
They didn't mention the Patreon members once, not one single time in the whole video. It's like they consider the Patreon "too YouTube". They're the deformed cousin locked in the attic. They're the relative who wasn't invited to the wedding because they can't afford a Tom Ford suit. They're the colleague who isn't invited to the staff night out because they only work in accounting and no one has anything in common with Janice anyway.
These are diehard fans who were actually paying them extra to support them and enjoy a little bonus behind the scenes, and the boys didn't even consider them worthy of an utterance.
They also finished with "If you don't follow us and pay up it's been real, peace out". I'm paraphrasing, but that's basically what it was.
They spent so much of the video saying how awesome and great it was that the fans and YouTube got them to this point, but they didn't thank their Patreon members, and they ended with a blunt suggestion that if you don't follow them and pay more then you're not a real fan anyway and they don't really need you.
"Thanks for getting us here, sucks to be you, bye now!"
You made them wealthy, you helped them hire 25 people, you helped them increase production value to "TV caliber" even though you didn't ask for that, but your job is done and now you're superfluous. Only the real fans are wanted.
In the words of the great George Carlin - "It's a big club, and you ain't in it".
They're okay losing the vast majority of the people who got them here if a few thousand of those are comfortable enough to be able to pay $60 a year for a YouTube channel.
Can it get worse? Sure!
We've had a weekend to enjoy the constant heat of this bonfire and it's predictably worsened with each hour of silence from the company and its employees.
The fact that they haven't back-tracked, despite almost unanimous agreement that this is badder than the baddest thing that could happen to their company, suggests they're okay with it.
Consensus seems to be that they knew it would be this bad, and they're cool. They predicted 90% of people would scream "Boo to you good sirs! Boo indeed!" and they could still survive on the 10% who don't see a problem here.
The lack of response reinforces the narrative that they're totally fine with discarding almost their entire audience if they can just squeeze the cash they need out of whoever is left.
This ain't fixable, y'all (maybe)
Note: I don't want this to be mean, but it's going to sound a little bitchy no matter how I try to say it.
If they'd brought out the Ukulele on Saturday, or even teased Ukulele's on their socials before putting out a video on Sunday, they probably could have survived this with much hand-wringing and a little groveling.
But now I think they've grilled this Kobe steak for far too long.
They've lost 100K subscribers, and counting. The venom among Patreon members is allegedly worse than the public comments section under the video, which is startling. Dozens of YouTubers are torching them harder than a $100 crème brûlée.
People are scraping their channel content in case it's nuked.
Shane "eat the rich" Madej's sentiments over the last few years look disingenuous, to say the least. To shamelessly steal someone else's comment: "Imagine being all 'eat the rich' right before throwing yourself on the plate". He's silent while his McMansion burns down, at his own hands. "Why not!?" indeed.
Steven "I drive a Tesla" Lim's socials now make him look like a tech-bro try-hard and his use of words like "early adopter" and "soft launch" in the video only compound the belief that this was all his brainchild. He is the CEO, and that comes with responsibility and the associated blame. You can't steer the ship into the Bermuda Triangle and then disappear without looking like the bad guy.
Okay, you can disappear, but that convoluted metaphor is a mystery for someone else to solve.
Ryan "TV caliber" Bergara now sounds like an elitist who thinks YouTube is "too pedestrian" for his big plans, not big enough to meet his artistic vision. You see, he's more James Cameron, while YouTube is more like your student film club. He's grown beyond this pesky platform with billions of daily hits offering exponential growth with almost zero financial risk.
Even if they released a video today admitting they messed up big time it's still going to be hard to get the taste of this Ghost Pepper Warhead out of the collective mouth of their viewers.
This hasn't just burned their shared brand, it's singed their individual reputations among an audience upon which their careers rely.
What they should have done, on Saturday, is release a video (Ukulele or no) confessing their error. They should have announced their new platform will instead just be a bigger and better Patreon, with early access to everything, behind-the-scenes content, extra features, audience interaction etc.
They should have reversed to make clear their YouTube channel will stay the priority, their main source of revenue, but that you could get more on their own platform if you want it.
And, maybe, over time, people will pay for that. If they grow their channel to 6 million subscribers in the next 4 years there will be a couple hundred thousand of them willing and able to pay $5.99 a month for 8 years of shows, 8 years of behind the scenes content, 8 years of community involvement and regular early access to new episodes.
Maybe then they could try out their "privileged guys eat expensive food in expensive places" show and see how it does? Maybe a majority of people won't be living on the cusp of poverty by then and it won't look as tone-deaf as a 13 year old YouTuber trying to cover Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah"? Maybe then they could hire another 50 people and make Bergara's "TV caliber" (I still don't know exactly what that means) game shows and reboots?
The clock has been ticking since they hit that "publish" button on their career ending video, but that clock is about to count down to zero and silence will permeate throughout their previously lively community.
That 1980s basement set needed someone crying in the corner, right?
The problem is, their own platform is not a terrible idea. Really, it's not the worst thing they could do. The badness came in the timing, the switch, the middle finger and the f you. They could have released this as an extra, their own Patreon alternative, waited, developed it over time into something sustainable and established.
They could still try to do that and hope this dark chapter is forgotten.
Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe Lim is a financial genius with more skill than the management of Rooster Teeth and their corporate parent company combined? Maybe this gamble will be wildly successful despite all streaming services down-sizing or just going bankrupt? Maybe they won't be back on YouTube in 3-6 months begging for views after having to lay off 20 of their employees?
I know this... if I were one of those 25 employees blind faith would not be enough to stop me from looking for another job.
I suppose this will, for now, remain... a mystery.
EDIT:
I'm not writing another essay about this, but I'm glad to see they've backtracked and made the right choice to use WatcherTV as any sane creator would - to host early access and exclusive content in addition to their YouTube channel.
Over time, while promoting it in every video, building up that trust and fan base, it can be a secure and long-term financial bonus helping them to expand their business incrementally as finances allow.
Why this wasn't the plan all along is anyone's guess. Gambling everything on this was never the sane decision.
I still think they need to scale back on costs. I still think the food content is not currently a viable source of income while being a serious drain on resources. I still think they need to stop hiring all their friends and they need to hire one person who doesn't have personal relationships with everyone there and can make the tough business decisions.
No one likes firing people, it's ten times worse when it's a friend. But this is a reality of business and just wishing it wasn't so isn't going to make it go away. It would be awesome if we could all run a business where we can hire all our friends and family, never have to rely on any outside funding, make whatever we want, make a great living in one of the most expensive cities in the world and continue to grow.
That's just not the reality.
Their apology was genuine, in my opinion. I just hope they can work out the right financial balance.
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Something Wicked | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, implications of verbal parental abuse
Word Count: 4885
Series Rewrite Masterlist
The two boys were bickering over coordinates Dean had received from an anonymous number.
“Dude, I ran LexisNexis, local police reports, newspapers, I couldn't find a single red flag. Are you sure you got the coordinates right?” Sam asked.
“Yeah, I double checked. It's Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Dad wouldn't have sent us coordinates if it wasn't important, Sammy.”
“Well, I'm telling you, I looked, and all I could find was a big steamy pile of nothing. If Dad's sending us hunting for something, I don't know what.”
“Well, maybe he's going to meet us there.”
“Yeah. ‘Cause he's been so easy to find up to this point.”
You sighed. You weren’t about to get in the middle of this argument and tuned the rest of it out. Alas, Dean won the argument, as he often did.
You stopped for some coffee along Fitchburg’s main street. The town itself was small, but it was quaint. A little too Middle America for your taste.
“Well… the waitress thinks the local freemasons are up to something sneaky, but other than that, no one's heard about anything freaky going on,” Dean sighed, handing you and Sam your respective coffee orders.
“Dean, you got the time?” you asked him.
“Ten after four. Why?”
You nodded in front of you at the playground you were looking at. “What's wrong with this picture?”
It was deserted aside from one child climbing on the jungle gym.
“School's out, isn't it?” Dean questioned.
“Yeah. So where is everybody?” Sam added. “This place should be crawling with kids right now.”
You and the Winchesters walked over to a woman on a park bench reading a magazine. Dean approached her, saying, “Sure is quiet out here.”
The woman sighed, “Yeah, it’s a shame.”
“Why's that?”
“You know, kids getting sick, it's a terrible thing.”
“How many?”
“Just five or six but serious, hospital serious. A lot of parents are getting pretty anxious. They think it's catching,” she explained.
All four of you watched the little girl playing by herself, and the wheels in your head began to turn. Why would John send you all the way to Fitchburg over a few sick kids?
The three of you made your way up to the pediatrics ward of the hospital to investigate the sick children. Dean and Sam donned suits, and you wore a pencil skirt and heels. You couldn’t lie to yourself, Dean looked amazing in his suit, but you much preferred his usual leather jacket and biker boots.
“See something you like?” Dean smirked at you.
Your mouth opened and closed, unsure of what to say. He just snickered in response while your cheeks burned.
A doctor approached you and the boys before Dean could taunt you any further. You introduced yourselves and headed down the corridor with the man. “Well, thanks for seeing us, Dr. Hydecker,” Dean said.
“Well, I'm glad you guys are here. I was just about to call CDC myself. How'd you find out anyways?” the doctor asked.
“Oh, some GP— I forget his name— he called Atlanta, and, uh, he must've beat you to the punch,” Dean lied.
“So you say you got six cases so far?” you asked.
“Yeah, five weeks. At first we thought it was garden variety bacterial pneumonia. Not that newsworthy. But now…”
“What?”
“The kids aren't responding to antibiotics. Their white cell counts keep going down. Their immune systems just aren't doing their job. It's like their bodies are... wearing out.”
“Wait, but are there any signs of leukopenia?” you asked. “Any history in these kids of that?”
Dean looked over at you, confused by what you were saying. You continued to talk to the doctor.
“No, actually,” Hydecker answered.
“What about neutropenia?”
He shook his head as a nurse handed him a clipboard full of papers.
“Then, whatever this is would have to be attacking the bone marrow as well as the respiratory system… Have you done biopsies?”
“No, we haven’t,” Hydecker answered. “I’ll give that a try.”
“You ever seen anything like this before?” Sam questioned.
“Never this severe,” the doctor said. “And the way it spreads… that's a new one for me.”
“What do you mean?” asked Sam.
“It works its way through families. But only the children, one sibling after another.”
“You mind if we interview a few of the kids?” Dean questioned.
“They’re not conscious,” the doctor replied.
You were shocked. “None of them?”
“No.”
“Can we, uh, can we talk to the parents?” tried Dean.
“Well, if you think it'll help.”
“Yeah. Who was your most recent admission?”
Hydecker directed you to a man sitting on a chair against the wall in the waiting room. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He explained to you the oldest girl was first, and then his youngest. He told you that her window had been opened, but there was no one who could’ve done so except for his daughter because her room was on the second floor.
You and the boys headed out of the pediatrics ward and back toward the car.
“(Y/N), how’d you know all that stuff?” Sam asked you, referencing your conversation with the doctor.
“I like to read,” you shrugged. Sam smiled at your response and walked a little ahead of you.
Dean came up next to you. “You were really serious about nursing, huh,” he said softly enough so Sam wouldn’t hear.
“I guess. I really do just like to read, though,” you smiled. “I think I just wanted to stick it to my dad. I always thought I’d be happier not hunting. But, uh, I just don’t think I could ever go back to being ‘normal’.”
“Yeah, I get that,” he responded.
Sam turned back to you and his brother. “You know, this might not be anything supernatural. It might just be pneumonia.”
“No way,” you shook your head, “pneumonia wouldn’t be lowering white blood cell count. It’d have to be elevated for it to be true pneumonia. Infection and all that.”
Sam hummed. “Okay, so then what’s your theory?”
“Honestly? Not sure.”
“I'll tell you one thing,” said Sam. “That dad we just talked to? I'm betting it'll be a while before he goes home.”
***
“You got anything over there?” Sam asked Dean. The three of you had climbed through the home of the last two kids who had gotten sick looking for clues.
“Nah, nothing,” the older brother answered.
“Yeah, me neither,” you chimed in. You moved over to the window and paused. “Hey guys? I really don’t think it’s pneumonia.”
The boys came over and followed your line of sight to a rotted handprint with long, tendril-like fingers.
“What the hell leaves a handprint like that?” Sam asked.
Dean seemed to get pulled away into his own mind for a moment before he began to look a little sick. “I know why Dad sent us here. He's faced this thing before. He wants us to finish the job.”
Dean raced down the stairs to the window on the back of the house you’d climbed through. You followed him close behind. You would ask him what had happened to him in the little girl’s bedroom later.
Dean explained to you on the ride to the motel what he thought you were hunting: a shtriga.
“So what the hell is a shtriga?” Sam asked as Dean pulled into a motel parking lot. This motel was a little cuter than the ones you’d visited previously; centered around a white cabin with green shingles.
“It's kinda like a witch, I think. I don't know much about 'em,” explained Dean.
“Well, I've never heard of it. And it's not in Dad's journal.”
“Dad hunted one in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin, about sixteen, seventeen years ago. You were there. You don't remember?”
Sam shook his head.
“And I guess he caught wind of the things in Fitchburg now and kicked us the coordinates,” Dean went on.
“So wait, this…” Sam paused, waiting for Dean to remind him how to pronounce it.
“Shtriga.”
“Right. You think it's the same one Dad hunted before?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“But if Dad went after it, why is it still breathing air?” Sam’s brows furrowed together.
“ ‘Cause it got away.”
Sam scoffed. “Got away?”
Dean was beginning to get frustrated, and you knew it was a cover-up for whatever was going on inside his head. “Yeah, Sammy, it happens.”
“Not very often.”
“Well, I don't know what to tell ya, maybe Dad didn't have his wheaties that morning,” snarked the older brother.
“What else do you remember?”
“Nothin'. I was a kid, alright?” Dean said defensively. You followed him into the motel lobby only to see a little boy watching TV in one room and a boy around ten or eleven walking out of it.
“A king or two queens?” The boy asked, looking between you and Dean.
“Two queens,” you and Dean answered quickly. “And one king, actually,” you added, stepping aside to reveal Sam behind you.
A woman entered smiling at you both. “Checking in?”
You nodded to her.
“Do me a favor, go get your brother some dinner,” the woman instructed the boy.
“I'm helping a guest!” he protested, but turned away under his mother’s hard stare. “Two queens. And a king.”
“Will that be cash or credit?” she asked you.
Dean took out his card. “You take MasterCard? Perfect. Here you go.”
You watched him look behind the woman at the boy pouring his younger brother a glass of milk. And there he went again; pulled into what you could only assume was memories of himself and Sam.
The woman before you held out his card to zoned-out Dean, and you took it from her instead. “Uh, thanks.” She handed you the keys, and you nudged Dean to bring him back to reality.
***
Dean explained to you and Sam what shtrigas fed off: children, most commonly. The only thing that could kill them were specially designed wrought-iron rounds while the thing was feeding. They often take the form of something unsuspecting; like an old woman.
“Hang on,” Dean said. “Check this out. I marked down all the addresses of the victims. Now these are the houses that have been hit so far and dead center?”
“The hospital,” you noted.
“Now, when we were there, I saw a patient; an old woman,” Dean continued.
“An old person huh?” questioned Sam. “In a hospital? Phew. Better call the Coast Guard.”
You giggled at Sam.
“Well, listen, smart-asses, she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall.”
You and Sam stopped snickering and looked up at Dean. He raised an eyebrow at you.
And so, you headed to the hospital. Fortunately for her— but unfortunately for your hunt— the old woman with the upside down cross on the wall was just cataract-ridden and crotchety. Upon your return to the motel after thoroughly freaking out the old woman, you pulled Dean to your motel room for a talk before bed.
“What’s up?” he asked, sitting on a chair in your room.
You sat on the bed across from him. “Where do you keep going?” you asked.
“Huh?”
“Sorry, I just realized how stupid that sounded. You keep, like, disappearing into your own brain,” you responded. “Like in the motel lobby. You zoned out looking at that kid and his brother.”
“Oh, that,” he said quietly. “I, uh, it’s stupid.”
“Dean,” you leaned over your crossed legs and rested your hand on his knee. “I’m asking you. It’s not stupid. I just care.”
“Oh, come on—”
“Dean,” you said. “You made me a pinky promise at that scary asylum. You promised you’d tell me. Please?”
He huffed out a small laugh. “You know how I said my dad hunted this thing before?”
You nodded.
“Well, I’m the reason it got away.”
“How? Didn’t you say it was sixteen, seventeen years ago? You would’ve been ten, dude,” you responded.
“Yeah, but it’s complicated. My dad left us alone in motel rooms all the time. He made me repeat to him what I was and wasn’t supposed to do every time he would go out on a hunt. Sam and I would fight over the last bowl of Lucky Charms from the groceries Dad got us for the week; y'know, stupid kid stuff,” he chuckled. “But it’d been days. I was climbin’ the walls, (Y/N). I had to get some air. I went to an arcade to just… blow off some steam, I guess.
"When I came back, the thing was over Sammy’s bed. I was frozen. My dad came in and shot it a couple times, but it got away. Dad just... grabbed us and booked. Dropped us off at Pastor Jim's about three hours away, but by the time he got back to Fort Douglas, the shtriga had disappeared; it was just gone. It never surfaced until now. Y'know, Dad never spoke about it again, I didn't ask." He looked away from you attempting to swallow his emotions. "But he, ah, he looked at me different, you know? Which was worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order, and I didn't listen; I almost got Sammy killed.”
“Dee, you were a kid,” you said softly. He went to cut you off, but you stopped him. “No, let me talk. I know how that feels. My parents left me with Stevie all the time. I would've done the same thing you did. We were kids. We had to take on parental responsibilities. Anybody would be going stir crazy, especially at ten years old like you were.”
“(Y/N)—”
“No,” you told him, grabbing his hand. “You cannot blame yourself. I won’t let you. Would you let me?”
He shook his head.
“Exactly.”
He held your intense stare and rubbed a thumb over your hand. The two of you awkwardly pulled away from each other, and Dean cleared his throat. “Uh, thank you, for, y’know—”
“Yeah, any time,” you said, walking him to the door.
***
The next morning, you and Sam were teasing Dean about the old woman from the hospital the night before. You were headed to the car to go get some breakfast.
“ ‘I was sleeping with my peepers open’?” Sam laughed heartily, remembering the old woman's strange way of talking.
“I almost smoked that old girl, I swear. It's not funny!” Dean grunted.
“Oh man, you shoulda seen your face,” you giggled.
“Yeah, laugh it up. Now we're back to square one.” He looked over to the ten-year-old blond boy sitting on the bench behind his mother’s office. “Hang on.” He led you over to the child. “Hey, what's wrong?”
“My brother's sick,” he replied.
“The little guy?”
He nodded. “Pneumonia. He's in the hospital. It's my fault.”
“Ah, c'mon, how?” You could tell Dean’s mind was racing just based on his tone.
“I should’ve made sure the window was latched. He wouldn't've got pneumonia if the window was latched,” the boy lamented.
You watched, frowningly thoughtfully, as Dean looked away from the boy.
“Listen to me. I can promise you that this is not your fault. Okay?” Dean assured him.
“It's my job to look after him,” the boy frowned, tearing up.
His mother hurried out of the motel toward her minivan. “Michael, I want you to turn on the 'no vacancy' sign while I'm gone. I've got Denise covering room service, so don't bother with any of the rooms.”
“I'm going with you,” he protested.
“Not now, Michael.”
“But I gotta see Asher!”
Dean responded before his mother could. “Hey, Michael. Hey. I know how you feel— I'm a big brother, too— but you gotta go easy on your mom right now, ok?”
His mom dropped her handbag in haste, cursing under her breath. You rushed to pick it up for her.
“Listen, you're in no condition to drive. Why don't you let me give you a lift to the hospital,” Dean offered.
“No, I couldn't possibly—” she answered.
“No, it's no trouble. I insist.”
Michael’s mother handed Dean the keys and thanked him before addressing her son. “Be good.”
Dean turned to you before he went over to the car. “We're gonna kill this thing. I want it dead, you hear me?”
You and Sam watched Dean pull out of the motel parking lot, driving much more carefully than he ever did when you and Sam were in the car.
“C’mon,” you said. “You got the keys?”
“Yeah,” he threw them to you. “Where we goin’?”
“Wait, you’re letting me drive?” you asked Sam.
He shrugged.
You squealed childishly and jumped into the driver’s seat. You couldn’t lie, you loved this car. You loved how the steering wheel felt in your hands and the way the engine rumbled.
“Seriously, where we going?”
“The library,” you answered. “Town records, national records, internet, anything and everything. Dean wants this thing dead, and I intend to get it done tonight. And I gotta tell you, dude, something’s really bothering me about this whole thing. I mean, I never even formally went to nursing school, but I knew it couldn’t be pneumonia immediately. Why would pediatric doctors be unable to figure that out?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, but I get you. Something isn’t right.”
***
You and Sam poured through as many books you possibly could as quickly as you could. Sam was at his computer, scrolling with a furrowed brow when his phone rang. “ Hey. How's the kid?... We’re at the library. We've been trying to find out as much as we can about this shtriga… Well, bad news. I started with Fort Douglas around the time you said Dad was there?... Same deal.
"Before that, there was, uh, Ogdenville, before that, North Haverbrook, and Brockway. Every 15 to 20 years, it hits a new town. Dean, this thing is just getting started in Fitzburgh. In all these other places, it goes on for months. Dozens of kids before the shtriga finally moves on. The kids just languish in comas, and then they die… Ah, I don't know. The earliest mention I could find is this place called ‘Black River Falls’ back in the 1890s. Talk about a horror show.”
Your brain began to make connections between all of those events. “Wait, Sam, put Dean on speaker.”
He did so.
“Okay, you’re gonna have to stay with me on this one. This could just be me spitballin’, but—”
“Just say it, (Y/N),” Dean said through the phone.
“I’ve been thinking, why wouldn’t Hydecker immediately rule out pneumonia? If he’s such a spectacular and caring doctor, why wouldn’t he know that pneumonia ups your white blood cell count; not depletes it? And the chance of all six kids having a pre-existing condition that lowers your WBC is incredibly low. I mean, why else wouldn’t he biopsy the kids?”
“Okay, WebMD, what does that have to do with anything?” Dean asked.
“I told you to stay with me.” You began typing in your computer searching for articles on the earliest case Sam had found in Black River Falls. “The point is, I think Hydecker’s our guy. Think about it— the center of the kidnappings is the hospital. And any pediatric doctor would be familiar with what pneumonia actually does to a kid’s body.” You smiled sourly at a photo you pulled up of doctors surrounding a child’s bed in 1893. You turned the computer around to Sam. “Boom.”
“(Y/N), that is huge.” He leaned over and lightly punched your shoulder. “Good going.”
“Thanks!” you grinned. “Dean, meet us back at the motel. Don’t deck the guy in the face, please. Not yet, anyway.”
“No promises,” he grumbled.
“Dean—”
“Fine.” He hung up the phone.
“Alright, we gotta get back before Dean explodes,” you told Sam. “Can I drive again?”
“Sure, why not. Just don’t tell my brother.” He tossed you the keys and you giggled.
***
“We should have thought of this before. A doctor's a perfect disguise. You're trusted, you can control the whole thing,” Sam said.
You and the brothers were back in the motel room.
Dean threw off his jacket and paced agitatedly. “That son of a bitch.”
“I'm proud of you for not drawing on him right there,” you said.
“Yeah, well, first of all, I'm not going to open fire in a freakin' pediatrics ward.”
Sam nodded. “Good call.”
“Second, wouldn't have done any good, because the bastard's bullet proof unless he's chowing down on something. And third, I wasn't packing, which is probably a really good thing, ‘cause I probably would've just burned a clip in him on principle alone.”
Despite the situation, you found Dean aggressively grumbling about guns very attractive.
“You're getting wise in your old age, Dean,” Sam quipped.
“Damn right. 'Cause now I know how we're going to get it,” replied Dean.
“What do you mean?” you asked.
“Shtriga works through siblings, right?”
You knew what he was getting at. “No, Dean, I don’t like that.”
“What?” Sam asked, clearly not picking up where you and Dean were at.
“(Y/N)—”
“No, dude, we gotta get Michael out of here. I’m not letting you use him as bait.”
“Dean, what?! That’s out of the question!” Sam protested.
“It's not out of the question, Sam, it's the only way. If this thing disappears it could be years before we get another chance.”
“Michael's a kid. And I'm not going to dangle him in front of that thing like a worm on a hook,” Sam scoffed.
“Dad did not send me here to walk away.” Dean turned away from you and Sam and gripped the edges of the dresser.
“Send you here? He didn't send you here; he sent us here,” Sam replied.
“This isn't about you, Sam. I'm the one who screwed up, all right. It's my fault. There's no telling how many kids have gotten hurt because of me.”
“What are you saying, Dean? How is it your fault?” Sam paused, taking a moment to calm down. “Dean. You've been hiding something from the get-go. Since when does Dad bail on a hunt? Since when does he let something get away? Now talk to me, man. Tell me what's going on.”
Dean proceeded to explain what he had to you last night. Sam gave him the same lecture about how it wasn’t his fault, but Dean began to protest again. “Don't. Don't. Dad knew this was unfinished business for me. He sent me here to finish it.”
You were surprised at the tough facade he gave his brother in contrast to the way he was vulnerable with you.
“But using Michael— I don't know Dean. I mean, how 'bout one of us hides under the covers, you know, we'll be the bait,” Sam tried.
“No, it won't work. It's gotta get close enough to feed— it'll see us. Believe me, I don't like it, but it's gotta be the kid.”
***
Michael was completely against the idea and even threatened to call the cops on you. You and the boys returned to their motel room dejectedly.
“Well, that went crappy. Now what?” Dean groaned.
“What did you expect? You can't ask an adult to do something like that, much less a kid,” the younger brother sighed.
There was a knock at the door, and you opened it to reveal Michael.
“Hey,” you said, surprised.
“If you kill it, will Asher get better?”
“Honestly? We don't know,” Dean told him.
“You said you were a big brother,” Michael started, “You'd take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?”
“Yeah, I would,” Dean replied quietly. Your heart swelled at how much Dean and Sam cared for each other.
The young boy nodded. “Me, too. I'll help.”
Dean had hooked up a security camera to the boy’s room, and you and he watched the monitor closely. You were beginning to feel cross-eyed from how tired you were. It was around three in the morning, and your body protested against your will to stay awake.
“You sure these iron rounds are gonna work?” Sam asked his brother.
“Consecrated iron rounds, and yeah, it's what Dad used last time.”
“Hey, Dean? I’m sorry,” the younger brother said softly. “You know, I've really given you a lot of crap, for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it.”
“Oh, god, kill me now,” Dean groaned.
You giggled to yourself, eyes returning to the screen. “Dean, look.”
There was a bit of movement off to the right of the screen outside of the window. You and the boys picked up your guns, holding them tightly and waiting for the right moment.
“Now?” you asked.
“Not yet.”
The shtriga moved closer and leaned over the bed. You could see Michael tense under the covers and draw them closer to himself. The creature leaned over the bed, pushing the covers down.
“Now?!”
“Now.”
You and the boys burst through the door and began to shoot the creature after Michael rolled away. It flew off Michael’s bed and fell to the side you couldn’t see.
“Mike, you alright?” Dean asked the kid.
“Yeah,” came his muffled reply from under the bed.
“Just sit tight.” Dean approached the shtriga, his gun at the ready. There was no movement for just a moment, before the shtriga shot up and grabbed Dean by his throat, throwing him across the room.
“Dean!” you cried, trying to run to him. The shtriga threw you to the side against Michael’s bed. Your back protested as you tried to roll and grab your gun that had fallen out of your hand in the chaos. You noticed the shtriga leaning over the top of the younger Winchester. Sam’s body went limp and began to go gray as the shtriga began to suck out his life force.
“Hey!” Dean gruffly spat. The shtriga turned to the older brother just to get shot straight between the eyes.
“Nice!” you said. You rushed to Sam’s side and smoothed a hand over his messy hair while he tried to catch his breath. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “Thanks.”
“You okay, little brother?” Dean called from behind you. You thought it was adorable how much he cared.
You and Sam stood and you tried to help hold the tall man up on his unsteady legs. You guided him over to the shtriga, and Dean shot it three times at point-blank range. The shtriga’s body fell in on itself, disintegrating.
You looked up at Dean, whose face was still set in hard lines.
“It's okay, Michael, you can come on out,” Dean told the boy peeking out from under his bed. He rose to stand beside you, smiling tentatively. Dean put a hand on the boy’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. You looked on, feeling your heart swell at what you knew was a full-circle moment for Dean. You knew these moments were few and far-between in a profession like yours, and you had learned to savor them in your memory.
***
You and the brothers returned to your rooms to pack now that the monster was dead. As usual, you were finished packing before the boys were and leaned against the Impala waiting for them.
You watched Michael’s mom’s car pull up in the motel parking lot. At that moment, the boys came out to join you.
“Hey, Joanna. How's Asher doing?” Dean asked the mother of the two boys.
“Have you seen Michael?” she asked him.
“Mom! Mom!” the child in question ran up and hugged him. “How's Ash?”
“Got some good news. Your brother's gonna be fine,” she smiled down at the boy.
“Really?” Michael grinned.
“Yeah. Really. No one can explain it; it's a miracle. They're going to keep him overnight for observation, and then, he's coming home.”
You smiled as Sam asked, “How are all the other kids doing?”
“Good. Real good. A bunch of them should be checking out in a few days. Dr. Travis says the ward's going to be like a ghost town,” she explained.
“Dr. Travis? What about Dr. Hydecker?” you asked.
“Oh, he wasn't in today. Must have been sick or something.”
You shot a knowing look to the boys.
“So, did anything happen while I was gone?” Joanna asked her son.
The boy looked to Dean before responding, “Nah, same old stuff.”
“Okay.” Joanna smoothed a hand over Michael’s blonde hair. “You can go see Ash.”
A wide grin spread across the boy’s face. “Now?!”
She nodded at her son, who ran into the car. “I, ah, I'd better get going before he hotwires the car and drives himself,” she told you and the boys. The three of you watched as Joanna’s car pulled out of the parking lot. Sam and Dean turned to you and placed their bags in the trunk next to yours.
“It's too bad,” said Sam.
“Oh, they’ll be fine,” you assured him.
“That's not what I meant,” he shook his head. “I meant Michael. He'll always know there are things out there in the dark— he'll never be the same, you know?” He paused. “Sometimes I wish that....”
“What?” Dean questioned.
“I wish I could have that kinda innocence.”
Dean walked to the driver’s side door. He leaned on the roof of the car and said, “If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too.”
Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @davina-clairee @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @stephshaww @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @here-for-the-extravaganza @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @rei0812 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @more-espresso-less-depresso-og @mysticmyth @favoritefandoms27 @star-yawnznn
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