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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years

Note

Can you do a reader x Damon salvatore where everyone thinks the only reason they are together is because damon sired her, but she gets angry and tells them the truth that she always had feelings and didn't say anything because she knew he liked Elena...

Sire Or No Sire

damon Salvatore x reader / masterlist

summary; it is easily perceived why you look at Damon the way that you do, though most people think that is an affect of him having turned you to save your life. And that is the last straw of you realising that they know nothing / warnings; mentions of Damon x Elena, mentions of Damon x Caroline, jealousy, angst, mentions of the sire bond, mentions of sex, swearing, angst, breakup, toxic friendships

Their voices, their aloud opinions, brought you nothing but pain, the tragedy seeping into your vervain allergic veins, as you shook your head. It was as though they thought that you were unable to hear their chatter, but you knew that they would be wrong with assuming so. You were no longer weak, with human senses flooding your every whim, you were a vampire.

An immortal. It felt strange to think that you would no longer age in physical layers, instead, your mind would be the only participant within your body to forever grow with the various memories that you would be collecting through the next decades. Though, you weren’t the only one, Caroline was in that room, reprimanding Damon for saving your life.

You could hear her words loud and clear, as the Salvatores and the rest of your friends stood by, some agreeing with her, such as Elena, whereas others remained silence, such as the vampire that had turned you in the first place. The viscous tone hissing out of the blonde’s mouth scathed you emotionally, and ended with you thudding back against Damon’s bedroom door, before entering the room, and ensuring that it was locked behind you.

“The two of you are only together because of the sire bond. You turning her, had become nothing more an excuse to fuck and put a label on it!”

Did she think that she was defending you? Because to you, it didn’t sound like it, but that was Caroline for you, always insistent of her opinion, though, you two did get along. The pair of you understood what it was like to be on the sidelines, whilst perfect Elena played the victim every time, and got any guy she wanted, even her friends were swayed with the young gentlemen first.

Elena Gilbert was the epiphany of perfect; she was the damsel in distress, giving the opportunity to whomever she sought after to come and save her. You weren’t her, dissimilar to the whiny brunette, you were prepared to fight the monsters that threatened your life, human or not. And that included Damon long ago, before you saw how sweet the over century old man was.

One thing that you had never done though, was date someone and bluntly flirt with their brother. That was crossing a line, you appreciated honesty, especially in this lifestyle, and Caroline had declared her thoughts. She spoke truthfully, believing her own words, though they were far from facts.

They needed to know that you weren’t invested in a relationship with Damon because of him turning you, it was something you had never asked for, nor dreamed about. But it had happened, and whilst it brought the pair of you closer, there was no maker bond, instead, there had already been a flirtatious brewing between the pair of you whilst you were still human.

You becoming like him gave the two of you more time together as he trained you to breathe idly in and calm your bloodlust. Or how in the middle of the night, he would come by your house, and awake you from a terror, afterwards taking you for an innocent stroll through the woods.

Without him, you’d have been on a path to nowhere, lost and unable to find a route to continue on, wading through the life after death with no direction, nor set course to keep you in line. Surely, you’d have murdered many a man or woman, if you were dependant with surviving with her bewitched curse of immortality, digging into their inviting throats with your dagger canine teeth, that pulsed to be fed.

“That’s a load of- you know what, think what you want to think, you have a history of jealousy filled, toxic and werewolf involved relationships, you are not exactly the best person here to judge me on my healthy and loving romantic partnership with y/n!”

Damon half yelled at the vampiric blonde, however, another tone was fast to respond to his defensive outburst and cause the both of you a disgruntled pair of expressions. “She was turned by you brother, that runs the risk of a sore bond appropriating her feelings.”

Oh, noble Stefan. He had caused you to snap, thrusting the door open to his brother’s bedroom open, making its hinges weaken, as you whisked through the halls in seconds, joining the compendium of mystic falls in the living space, all eyes turned to you, well aware that you had heard all their smart mouthed and toxic opinions.

The sire bond wasn’t something that was too uncommon, however it affected nothing in your life. It was just for them to pick at something that was good, they could never allow something that was actually decent to revel in existence. They had to be the ones with the perfect prissy lives, not others.

“Shut your mouth, ripper!” Yes, you pulled at that string of his life, dangling it degradingly before his eyes, watching as his eyes that were focalised into you turned sour. “I love your brother, and just because you loved the love triangles the pair of you would be involved in with bitchy Gilbert over there, or bloody Katherine, does not make any other people that he or you are with invalid!”

Elena stepped forwards, her doe eyes boring with contained anger towards you. Though instead of speaking to you, her words were directed at her ex, and she wanted to gouge your reaction. “You promised me that we were going to last forever, are you going to do the same to her?”

“No, because I don’t need a time span to appreciate her presence in. I don’t need to tell her lies nor make selfish promises, because with her I am a better man.” Damon sneered at her, coming to stand beside you, protectively wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“It’s the sire bond.” Elena stated furiously, hating the fact that she was not getting her way. In turn, you laughed, shaking your head at her incessant denial of allowing Damon to move on.

“Shut the fuck up, if you had maybe given a shit about me in the past, you’d have realised that I would stare at you enviously when you were at his side. But maybe you knew, and you just wanted to brag, but I can prove that there is no bond other than the one we already built together.”

“Yeah, and how are you going to do that?” She pestered, and with a sorrowful glance directed at Damon, you dropped your head, anything but proud with what you were about to do. Swiftly you turned, watching as Damon’s eyes widened.

“I’m going to leave.” Whence you began to walk, a hand grasped your wrist, keeping your feet locked where they were. Caroline’s voice broke through the air, her eyes were filled with regret, from all the things that she had said, and all the opinions that she had formed.

“You’re not serious! You’re gonna break up with him because of us?” Stiffly you nodded, watching as Damon felt a taken back. He gaped his mouth open, in shock.

“I’d do anything for my friends, despite the circumstances not being reciprocated. I’m not even allowed to be in a relationship with the man that I love because you are all endorsed with the idea that it’s some stupid bond. Yes, we have a bond, but it’s not a sire one.”

“Baby, don’t.” Damon practically begged, watching as you yourself were torn and conflicted in regards to the situation. A sad smile monitored your face, as you slipped out of his grasp.

“We might have to wait another lifetime until we’re allowed to be together without resorts of undermining and people that don’t really care about us. Some people want there to be a whole ass agility course to separate us, but maybe if we wait, we can prove how wrong they are, if they’re not dead by then.”

Caroline felt terrible, once again Stefan had taken his brother’s life from him, and Elena, well she felt accomplished. She went to reach for Damon’s arm, but he threw her consoling manner and herself across the room, heading straight after you, with a bottle of bourbon.

If you could leave them to prove a point, so could be; he loved you. That was enough, especially for him, he could leave those doses of poison behind, if he would grant himself permission without asking, a peaceful life with you.

#damon salvatore angst #damon salvatore fanfiction #damon salvatore x reader #damon x reader oneshot #vampire diaries damon x reader #Damon x reader angst #damon x reader imagine #damon oneshot #tvd damon x reader #damon imagine #damon salvatore x y/n #damon salvatore one shot #tvd angst #tvd one shot #tvd request

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years

Note

We can get like a/b/o part 2?? Pretty please bubby 🥺

LEMME SEE WHAT COULD BE DONE FOR UU TILL THEN HAVE THIS LIL WOLFIE H BLURB I WROTE ALONSIDE THE COMPANY OF BITCHY CRAMPS

Harry’s head bobs at the deviating aura of Harry's surrounding, shedding from the lucid perfectness of quite to the homey whimsicalness due to the presence of his bubbles in his house.

His already warm ears perking up tuning into the chirpy chattering taking place downstairs at her arrival as his pack greets her with hugs, though he gets fussy over their blarney because he doesn’t want his human to be littered in anyone’s scent except his.

He’s a jealous poor thing.

He chuckles amused when Niall grunts down at Y/N's cat and she hisses back galloping away from Y/N's arms how much she tries to keep her in place, yeah ... a cat around many wolves isn’t one of the greatest idea but for Y/N, Harry had to make amends with Ozymandias.

An almighty name for a kitten who’s extra clingy and clever to get you to pet her.

He flops onto the neatly pleated duvet on his bed, leaning into the heels of his palm to wait for her and his brows stickers into confusion then they sink down in realization upon sniffing the scent that's getting closer and closer to him.

It’s like when puppies are born but less daunting; the aroma that confesses his tender assisduousness will be needed that he has to be extra caring with his lovie.

“Hi.” Harry’s eyes gleams when she pops up infront of him tuckered out, skin pale, eyes watery and hair messy with her hoodie squeezed around her small head.

“Hi poor lug.” Harry sighs breathily with a pout arms instinctively looping lazily around her waist to pull her down on his lap, she straddles his thighs in order to squish herself closer to him hiding her face into his woody smelling crook of neck.

“Missed youuuu.” She groans dragging her nose in gentle strokes to the side of his throat, eyelids closed feeling herself divulge into his warmth as if dipping her toesies into a carnelian bubbling bathtub, “Heyyyyy who’s the puppy here??” His whines muffled from peppering mellow kisses to her temple patting her bum to get her attention getting a disgruntled response in return.

“I know bubbles, I know -- moon-phases sucks.” He coos sweeping her hoodie down to feel her hair against his palm, “What?” She murmurs and he gives her a sheepish smile.

“Wolfie language.” He pecks her cheek when she giggles softly and Harry tipples off into the mattress dramatically when she smashes her face into his chest whimpering when another cramp hits her in bottom.

Harry shakes his head and tries to wiggle her off to bring her something to relax, “Don’t gooo,” She pouts wrapping herself around him like a spider web, a burrito bread where Harry’s a tall chicken tender.

He cackles loudly at which she smiles, when she crooned sweetly, “You sooo toasty.” Harry runs his hands up and down her arm not liking the way she’s all brumal.

“Not goin’ anywhere baby just bringin’ y'a heating pad.” He lays her on her side and suckles in his plushy lip to stop himself from cracking a silly joke when she blinked up at him owlishly, “How d'you know that ‘m on periods?” Harry glances down at her comically while fetching the pad from his nightstand.

“We could sniff onto satan sacrificial waterfalls from miles away.” She laughs boisterously at his gelastic statement shrinking into a shrimp next moment when her cramps starts getting more painful, “Are y'okay?” Harry asks worrisome immediately scooting back to her reach and rubs her tummy in soothing circles in effort to do anything possible to get her comfy and in unknotted position.

“It feels like a fat man’s sitting on my uterus.” She huffs and Harry fawns at her coodling her against his chest, sandwiching the heating pad in between his bicep and her tummy.

“How ‘bout we take a nap then binge eat ‘cos the fridge’s loaded with goodies Rikoo baked today, hmm?” He nudges her socksied feet with his own socksied feet tangling them from ankles then gradually sliding his thigh between hers to give her something to squeeze on.

“Sounds good ‘cos you’re really warm ...,” She yawns knuckling at her eyes, “Can you shimmy the curtains away there’s a lil dreamwork of silvers outside -- wanna see your wolfy ears.” How’s she has mastered an art to makes him this shy and giddy with these little innocent requests!? He’s very whipped for this clumsy, teensy and adorably sleepy human.

“Your wish me command.” When he’s exposed to the twinkling light there are two floppy cute ears buried into his tufts the soft fur on them matching the colour of his chocolate brown curls and his body gets warmer with his body getting slight furry.

“Can’t believe I get to have such a cutie boyfriend.” Y/N grins sleepily scratching under his ear and he gives out the softest yet most appealing purr against Y/N's cheek that's getting balmy from attaining his heat.

“Bubbles...” Harry scolds her locking his elbows around her neck to keep her head in one place and to stop her from squirming, “Y’need to rest baby.” Shakes his head in defeat when she still manages to pop herself out from his grip.

“Promise me that the ears will be still there when I wake up.” She quips and Harry strokes her cheek with the back of his knuckles and smacks couple kisses at her lips giggling when she tries to have the sensation for longer.

“Promise.” When she gives him an unsatisfied whine he hooks his pinky with hers and brings it to his mouth pretending to kiss it but instead nips at her soft flesh with a wolfish growl making her squeal and fall into spurts of giggles.

She’s grateful that with every hard day she gets to experience how caring and loving Harry is.

#WOLFIEEEEEEEEEEE HARRYYYYY #YAHOO YA YA #SOMETHING I WANTED TO WRITE FOR SO LONG #SORRY ANON BUT ABO PART WILL BE SOON I JUST DONT HAVE ANY CREATIVE IDEAS FOR IT SEND ME SOME IF U GUYS HAVE #harry styles #cute harry #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #fluff #harry angst #hsh #dom harry

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girl-of-many-fandoms · 3 years

Text

Forbidden 3

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You’re Tony’s sister and you just so happen to be very attracted to the one man that gets on your brother’s nerves, Steve Rogers. Unknowingly to you, the older man also has his eyes on you despite your circumstances.

Warnings: Gun violence, mentions of blood

REPOST because Tumblr has been acting up!!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

MASTERLIST

———

"Guys Y/N's still here" rolling your eyes you took a swig of your beer as the team grumbled

"Great another week of you being bitchy, just what we needed" Tony chucked a peanut in your direction and you couldn't help but laugh at their behaviour

"Oh come on, I told y'all that I didn't need to have sex, I was just having a bad day" unbuckling the straps of your nude heels you kicked them off, stretching your legs out on Thor's lap

"More like a bad week if you ask me" Steve piped up eyes flicking down to Thor's lap ever so often

"You're one to talk old man"

"Yeah Steve when was the last time you got any? My body still hurts from training a couple days ago, you didn't hold back man" Sam plopped down on the sofa next to the blonde man who downed the remaining of his drink

"You guys back off alright, I'm pretty sure Capsicle here has had his fair share of romance"

"Tony I don't think a kiss from 1945 is considered a fair share of romance" the group bursted out laughing at the man's depressing love life

"You guys are ruthless" giggling you crossed your legs and Thor placed his hand on your knee as if this was a common thing between you two

Thor started telling stories about life on Asgard and how many times Loki had tried to kill him. During this particular story you felt a heated gaze focused on you from across the room. Looking up you and Steve locked eyes, you noticed the fire hidden behind his eyes as the God of Thunder continued to rub his hand on your legs

Is he jealous? He can't be right?

There is no way that Steve could have the same feelings towards you

"Y/N why don't you be the one to show Rogers a good time?" Clint joked and Tony smaked him upside the head

"I would rather gouge my eyes out before I ever let that happen"

"Why though, I mean look at him" you don't know if it was the alcohol talking but you sure as hell couldn't back out of the conversation now as the room fell silent, all eyes on you and Tony

"Y/N the man is ancient"

"Your point?" flabbergasted Tony stared at you, completely lost for words while Steve held his hand over his lips to disguise his smile

Natasha smirked at you, ready to say something when gunshots rang out, glass shattering around you from the stray bullets. Thor immediately shifted you both off the couch and onto the floor, shielding your body with his as your attackers continued to fire their weapons

Reaching below the coffee table you grabbed the loaded gun that you always kept there in case something like this were to ever happen. The bullets stopped as heavily armed men invaded the room through the broken windows

Thor summoned his hammer as you and Natasha started firing at the men. Steve engaged in hand to hand combat, easily disarming his target before knocking them out. In the corner of your eyes you briefly noticed the familiar metal frisbee a few feet away from you

"Cover me!"

You moved as fast as you could towards the corridor, trying your best to stay low. You grabbed onto the cold metal and called out to Steve as you lauched the shield in his direction, he ducked as it knocked out the man

More gunshots rang out, this time they came from behind you, you quickly dived behind the bar taking cover. The gun cocked and you took the chance and popped up, firing your weapon. He fell to the ground as another shot went off, hitting you in your side

Groaning you stood your ground and shot him point blank before sliding down to the floor, pressing firmly onto your wound. Every fibre of your being burned from the excrusiating pain

Bruce came to your aid, trying his best not to turn into Hulk. He replaced your hands with his as he applied firm pressure to stop you from bleeding out on the floor

The fighting came to an end as Steve knocked the last guy unconcious

"Guys Y/N's been hit"

"I'm fine" brushed Bruce's hand away, hauling yourself up to your feet, you barely made two steps when your legs gave out beneath you, Steve catching you before you could hit the deck

He gently picked you up in his arms as Banner rushed you to the infirmary to get the bullet out and patch you up

Not even five minutes later you were laying on the bed while Banner started locating the bullet that's still inside of you, the rest of the team sat around in the room still trying to wrap their heads around what took place

Steve stood next to you the entire time, his hand brushing against yours debating if he should hold onto yours while Bruce was stitching you up. You subtly slipped your hands into his and he half heartedly smiled down at you

"Okay, you'll survive just try not to pop any stiches during the next three weeks and you'll be alright" Bruce finished applying the patch over your stitches and you moved to sit up but Steve shot you a stern look, silently telling you to not do that

"What the hell was that?" Natasha asked, picking fragments of glass from the soles of her feet. Your brother furrowed his brows, the wheels in his brain working over time, reaching into his pocket he pulled out his phone

"You guys aren't going to believe this"

Tony flipped his phone showing us the video message he received from the douchebag you guys had captured on your last mission

"My friends, I hope you all hadn't thought that you all had seen the last of me. My apologise for the mess, I had to make sure you all were going to give me your undivided attention"

Going against Steve's demands you sat up as the video played out

"You all took something that belongs to me and I want it back or else the Avengers would be a thing of the past" the video ended and we all shared the same look of confusion

“What the hell is he talking about?” Rhodey broke the deafening silence, Steve crossed his arms over his chest, deep in thought

Kage was known for selling high teach weapons on the black market off the coast of Africa. He had been on our radar since we were on the hunt for Ulysses Klaue when Ultron was a threat. The first time we crossed paths with him he managed to escape while we were being mind controlled by Wanda and since the we hadn't seen him until he finally slipped up a few weeks ago

"I remember going through his case files, nothing stood out from what we already knew"

"We missed something" groaning you swung your legs over the edge of the bed ready to get to work despite being slightly buzzed from all the alcohol

"We've got our work cut out for us, I suggest we start digging. Romanoff, Barton, go over the interview from his arrest see if he gave any clues. Stark and Banner, start looking at satillites, cameras anything that we could use to track his movements. The rest of us would be going over the files that we have on Kage" Steve assigned us our tasks and everyone dispersed leaving you and Steve behind

"Let’s get to work” standing up you were about to walk to the door when he held onto your wrist

“Not you” spinng around you collided into his firm chest and he steadied you, breath fanning against your face with each breath he took

"Cap I'm fine" looking up at him you shot him a small smile, placing your hand on his forearm giving it a reassuring squeeze, enjoying having Steve so close to you

You're eyes flickered between his eyes and lips, mind flooding with thoughts of kissing him. Steve did the same feeling himself start to lean in but he caught himself in time. Clearing his throat, he backed up putting distance between you both, snapping out of his trance

"Okay…but you should change into something more comfortable" your heart dropped as he straightened up, you tried not to show your disappointment as you headed out the door with him trailing behind

A smile played on your lips as you replayed that moment

Steve does have feelings for you

-----

Tag list:

@madisondelstan @thenumber1simp @mac99martin @n3ssm0nique @sltwins @artisancowbells

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bbykeijis · 3 years

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PLAYiNG AMONG US !

# kei tsukishima, kozume kenma, kōtarō bokuto, & tōru oikawa

summary: when you play among us with your boyfriend & you become the imposter ;)

author’s note: this is an updated version of one i did awhile ago on my old page,, i hope you guys enjoy it <3

genre: fluff, bokuto & oikawa being dramatic

TSUKISHIMA | YELLOW

you guys decided to play on the way home after tsukki's volleyball practice,, so it was getting pretty late,, the darkness was perfect for this kinda shit

you put your name as fatco0chie & picked your favourite colour,, if your fave colour was yellow u kicked him and chose another one lol

lmao as soon as you saw the start countdown you hid your phone from him and he's like ??? and ur like >:|

the game starts & tsukki mumbled that he's a crewmate,, you believe him because you are an imposter hehe

you almost vent in front of him and a bunch of others in electrical so you wait for the others to leave so you can murder your boyfriend lol

"where are you right now?" tsukki asks mundanely, "these downloading tasks are so bor-"

he freezes mid word and looks at his phone screen emotionlessly as he watches your f/c character snap the neck of his yellow one.

you remain silent as he sighes deeply and turns to you.

"you're gonna pay for that."

KENMA | RED

you guys have been playing for hours and he's literally been the imposter everytime which results in you being killed everytime

"kenma don't do it- fUCK YOU!" "hehe."

after like 20 games and a quick name change to "kenmasucks" and he rolls ur eyes @ ur childishness (he thinks it's cute tho dw)

the countdown starts and you prepare urself to be a vulnerable crewmate again but you see the red letters and you're fucking ready

you can hear kenma sigh because it's not him and he reluctantly does the tasks,, he hates them bc they're highkey boring ngl

after a few seconds you sabotage the reactor and everyone but you and him go to it,, "i can't be bothered lmao" he says

you follow him to electrical and kill him straight away in front of someone else but you don't care,, u just wanted revenge tm

kenma just kinda stays silent and looks at you emotionless as you cackle

yh, anyways you got voted out,, stupid ass

BOKUTO | WHITE

the two of you are in class but it's super boring,, you decide to text your boyfriend

babe, i wanna play among us" "say less"

you guys load into a waiting room,, your name is yumthighs and his name is thighguy (bokuto is a thigh guy,, we been knew)

bokuto types into the chat,, "babe ur not gonna kill me if ur the bad guy right??"

you don't reply >:)

you load into the game and akaashi is in the game too,, the guy looks at your from across the classroom with a smirk and a nod & ur hyped tf up

whenever you play among us bokuto likes to flow you around so he can 'protect' you so it's kinda hard to like,,, yknow,,, commit murder <3

suddenly there's an opportunity,, you, akaashi and bokuto are alone in electrical and akaashi locks the doors

bokuto literally screams like an extra motherfucker as you shoot him and vent away with your accomplice

oops now he has detention :)

OIKAWA | PINK

yes, pink.

this mf probably names himself selener too in the hopes someone says 'i gotta keep an eye out for selener' in the emergency meeting pjahaja

it’s 2 am on a saturday and the two of you are cuddled together in his bed as you wait for the game to start,, he wants to keep you close so he can see if you'll kill him

“oops, looks like i'm the imposter" *nervous gulp*

you've never killed him before because he gets sooo bitchy when it happens so you let him be for the first half of the game

soon the game is down to the last few people so you decide it's time to pull out your final move so you can win hehe

"y/n, if you do this i will never speak to you again," oikawa says as you follow him into admin.

no one else is there which means it's the perfect time to finish him off, you both knew this.

you turn to face your boyfriend with a small frown, "you think i would kill you, baby? i love you too much for that."

oikawa immediately calms and kisses your cheek.

"thank you so much- you fucking demon!"

yeah, you lost bed privileges (the mofo kicked you off the bed, oops-)

#haikyuu #hq x reader #haikyuu imagines #oikawa imagine #tsukishima imagine #bokuto imagine #kenma imagine #haikyuu!!#fluff #among us

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gerrymike · 3 years

Note

how do you feel about olivermike

yet again LETS GOOOOOOOOO God they are so much also. to start. i feel like GO is max tender min (but not zero) bitchy. GM is mid tender mid bitchy. and OM is max bitchy min (but not zero) tender. it’s about the configurations

to break out of the bizarre minmax pair stats i chose to start this reply with. i feel like yes canonically oliver and mikes arcs are like. same same but different sorta. they have the same drive and the same Harassed By Eldritch Entity chic and in the end all they wanted to do was get free of that so i feel like definitely they understand each other’s situation as if it were their own.

re: mike’s avatarhood, gerry Mr Morals keay for example probably needed time to fully get it. bc he’s spent a lot of time and turmoil growing this set of ethics and he’s confident enough in them that he won’t forsake them for someone he loves. which is very fair BUT i think oliver recognises the necessity + the back-to-the wall desperation + knows the exhaustion and resignation that resulted in mike’s vasting because it’s HIS as well!!! they are mirrors!!! they both know the horror of having only one choice and being so so tired

and yeah i think headwise they‘re pretty similar people. they’re both methodological in finding their solutions except where mike’s solution you could probably nod along to if you heard it (i.e. find magic book. use magic book’s magic to get rid of magic thing chasing me) oliver’s solution isn’t even CLOSE to rational (though it makes perfect sense. yes these can coexist) (i.e. assume identity of chemist who has perished in a tragic accident. board a research vessel. sail to the most inaccessible location on planet earth. have the most banging nap i can get. wing it from there). what i’m saying is they are both at similar degrees of intelligence and unbalancedness

so re: both their avatarhood. i think they are both just very tired. and they find rest with each other no matter how strange the landscape of their relationship. they’re fond of each other because they operate on similar wavelengths and really they have about the same skeletons in their closets. plus they have some pretty good bants. mike in particular can get pretty mean but oliver can give as good as he gets which is exactly what mike goes nuts for! and oliver is more difficult to rile up than gerry so mike welcomes the challenge. despite all the snark they hurl at each other they do have loads of respect and admiration for one another; i think mike has a thing where he’ll think to himself What Would Oliver Banks Do? and then act accordingly

also. more of my opinion on them as people. i think canon kind of presents vasted mike as a little extravagant in his dress and i feel like that’s true of his life in general because what’s monsterhood without the decadence. oliver too i think is fond of the entity gimmick business even though he’s not as ostentatious as mike. sure they both think of their avatarhood as paying eldritch bills and they don’t fancy themselves grand supervillainous cultists BUT. but. they both lean into the aesthetics definitely. oliver’s an econs major turned goth by the gift of oneiromancy. mike fell off a building one time and now he takes all his boyfriends to skyscraper rooftop restaurants. they’re perfect for each other. the two of them are locked in a never ending contest to take each other out on wildly refined dates and it’s so competitive that they regularly forget to enjoy themselves during them. i think they’re that one couple that will sit dead silent for the entirety of a function and then later you find them shut in on the floor of some empty guest room playing the host’s kids’ monopoly set with their wineglasses of champagne beside them. oliver Econs Major banks is winning also because mike keeps forgetting to collect rent and no way in hell is oliver going to remind him

i have to go look at vectors because i was supposed to finish this practice half an hour ago but i might say more later. good ask thank you very much

#olivermike #oliver banks #michael crew #tagging this because the people must know actualyl #the magnus archives #ask

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cruecifymesixx · 4 years

Text

Love and Leather /part eighty three/

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Enjoy! Feedback is appreciated!

Warnings: SMUT, language, angst

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @anntheboneless, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39 , @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, , @broke-n-bitchy @thanks2pete, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @outdated-titty-milk101, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @oskea93 @unknownoblivion @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @youretheonlyonewhomakesme, @xxisxxisxxis, @dogmom2014, @cruesixxlover1991, @xpoisonousrosesx, , @m0rnlngstar, @love-struck-aries, @findingmyths, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl,, @motleycrueprincess, @redlipscrystalskies14, @samanthadegaro @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @thechangingme, @patheticgay69, @idkmanhereisshitilike, @makaelahdelvalle

~St. Valentine’s Day ‘96~

Nikki hissed, pulling against the restraints wrapped around the bed frame and attempting to shake off blind fold made out of his own bandanna, “Van c’mon princess, you’re killing me here.” He spoke through gritted teeth, moaning louder when the hot wax dripped onto his chest again.

Vanity giggled, straddling his lap as she watched the red liquid drop down, “But you were the one that suggested this baby.” She leaned over, pressing her hips into his crotch and kissed the front of his neck, her tongue running up his Adam’s Apple before kissing his chin.

“Fuck..” Nikki groaned, bucking his hips up, “Come on!” He gnawed on his bottom lip as her hands pressed against his skin when she sat up again, purposefully grinding her ass into him.

“But I like seeing you like this Nikki.” Vans words slid off her lips like honey as she scratched her nails up and down his skin and leaving visible red lines in their wake, “Knowing you can’t touch me even if you wanted too. Does it hurt baby? I bet you want to just bury your cock in me like you always do don’t you?”

“Then unlock these so I can, bet that pretty pussy is just screaming for my attention.” Nikki laughs deeply, pulling on the restraints again until Vanity wrapped gold painted nails around his throat to keep him down.

“I can wait it out unlike you, Sixx.” She whispers against his lips before nipping at his bottom lip and tugging at it. Van hummed hearing his breathy whimper as she sat up straight and grabbed the melting candle. She tipped it slowly watching it pour against his abdomen and the bead of wax rolling down before it hardened. Each time she felt his thighs tense up and saw the veins pop out in his arms from turning his hands into fists around the cuffs.

How did Nikki get himself in this spot when these restraints were put in place for her? He doesn’t know. They came back to the hotel room he had booked for Valentine’s Day after having dinner at their favorite steakhouse. The two started off with a bath full of bubbles, rose petals and laughter while splitting a bottle of champagne evenly. Then they were in bed fooling around and next thing he knows Vanity’s asking him to put on the blindfold and he’s asking her to pour hot wax on him.

“Baby, please?”

Vans eyebrow raised into a perfect arch as she heard the begging followed by the quiet whimper he tried hiding when she poured some more. She reached up and pulled the blindfold off as he blinked a few times to adjust to the light, “That wouldn’t be Nikki Sixx begging would it?”

Nikki rolled his eyes, adjusting his hips under hers as he took in the lingerie she was wearing. The same set he had gotten her a few months prior at Christmas time, “We can switch Princess it’s only fair.”

Vanity laughs at him, “I’m not the one with a pain kink, Nikki.” She smiles at him, watching his eyes close and hearing the muttered fuck as she presses her ass onto his crotch. Vanity eyed him before putting her hand into her panties, moaning when she touched herself in front of Nikki.

Vanity let out a heavy sigh as she brought some relief to herself, “Fuck..” She whimpers grinding her hips against her hand which only resulted in more pressure being added to Nikki’s crotch. Van dipped her middle and ring fingers inside of her feeling the stretch but would rather have it be his fingers instead. She smiled at him as he stared in awe and brought the fingers to her mouth, sucking on them and treating them as if they were his cock.

Vanity peppered kisses and small bites up his chest and neck before meeting his lips. Nikki moaned into her mouth, tongue finding hers as he tasted her essence on her lips. He groaned when she broke the kiss, attempting to press his lips to any part of her that he could. She reached over his head grabbing the key chain dangling off the post, “I think I’ve had enough fun torturing you..” She sweetly pecks his nose as she unlocks his hands.

It takes no time at all as Nikki pulls her panties down, barely hanging on at her foot until she kicks them off, “You want it?” He looked at her rubbing the tip of his cock against her, “Beg for it.”

Vanity moans, feeling him move even slower “Please Nikki.”

He tsks, pulling away “I know you can do better than that. You want me to fuck you? Make you fucking cum over and over to the point where it hurts. Till you’re reduced into tears and whines begging me to stop? Then fucking beg for it baby cause you have the whole night ahead of you.”

*Next Morning*

Vanity gets out of the car jumping in surprise and reaching Nikkis wrist when he smacks her ass, “Quit doing that! It hurts.” She huffed, rolling her eyes as she opened up the front door.

“Oh don’t be a big baby. There’s only a few bruises unlike me who has welts going down my chest.” Nikki retorted, slapping her ass again as Arianna came running from the backyard.

“Mom! Daddy!!” She exclaims, Mick gingerly following in with Anarchy behind him, “I missed you!” She ran to Van first, colliding into her legs as Van picked her up.

“I missed you so much more! We’re you good for uncle Mickey?” Van kissed her cheeks before Nikki took her out of her arms.

“Don’t call me that.” Mick warned, “And yes she was a peach. Went to bed like she was suppose too after story time and then demanded French toast this morning.”

Vanity smiled, “Thank you Mick and sorry, I should’ve warned you. She loves French toast for breakfast and has it almost every day.”

“Mommy you have a booboo on your neck!” Arianna pointed out as she jammed her finger into the side.

“Ow!” She gently pushed Ari’s hand away, “Babe that hurt!”

“I’m sure it hurt more to get.” Mick mumbled, making Vanity’s cheek turn a shade of pink.

Nikki laughed as he put Arianna down, “Thanks again Mick for watching her on such a short notice. I appreciate it.”

Mick waved him off, reaching to grab his jacket from the couch “No problem Sixx. She kept me moving and I need that sometimes. I’ll see you guys later. You be good, turd.” Mick smiled brightly at Arianna and ruffled up her already messy locks before he left.

“Daddy! Can we have our tea party now?! Pleaaaaasseee!” Arianna begged as she grabbed Nikki’s hands, attempting to pull him over to the dining table.

“Tea party? I don’t remember being invited to one?” He smirked lifting Ari up on his feet and taking giant steps as she giggled.

“Yes! But you have to bring everything! And dress nice too!”

Nikki scoffed, “A party and I have to bring everything? What’s the point in that?” He grinned, picking her up and setting her down in the chair, “Let me get everything ready for the prettiest princess in all of the kingdoms, alright?”

“I’ll go get my dress! And your party hat!”

Vanity chuckled, stopping in her tracks so she wouldn’t get ran over as Arianna booked it up the stairs with Anarchy in tow. The flashing lights of the answering machine caught Vans eye as she went over and pressed play:

“Van! It’s Clem! I need you to call me back right away please!”

“Vanity! Call me immediately! It’s dire!”

Van chuckled and picked up the house phone, dialing Clementines number, “Hey, it’s me! Sorry I’m just now calling you. Nikki and I just got back home. Is everything okay?”

Clementine smiled wide, glancing at Tommy as his smile was even bigger, “Van-oh thank god! I’m sorry I called so many times but something happened and I gotta tell you!” She covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.

“Uh...ar-are you okay? Do I need to come over? Are you at the hospital? Did somebody die?” Van grabbed Nikkis arm when he walked by with Arianna’s plastic tea cup set.

“What? Who is it?”

“I’m fucking pregnant!!”

Vans eyes widen as she gasps before letting out an excited scream, “Oh my god! Are you serious?! Are you sure!? Oh my god Clementine!”

Nikki grimaced when she started smacking his chest, “I need to check if my ears are bleeding now.”

“Clementines pregnant!” Vanity smiled at Nikki as he made a unamused expression, “Does Tommy know!? Please tell me Tommy knows!”

“Yeah, he knows. I told him last night after dinner. He started crying.”

“I did not!”

Vanity laughs, “I’m so happy for you both. Nikki says congratulations too.” Van glares when he rolls his eyes and mouths bullshit, “Aren’t you suppose to be getting a tea party ready?” Van raises an eyebrow as Nikki flips her off and heads to the kitchen to get Arianna’s apple juice and some cookies.

“I’m really happy for you Clemmy! Just let me know if you need anything okay? I’ll help you get set up with a good doctor and everything when the time comes.”

Clementine smiles as Tommy comes over and holds her tight, peppering her shoulder in kisses, “Thank you. Maybe we can have dinner tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah just come by later tonight and we can celebrate. Love you!” Van hangs up when they say their goodbyes and puts the phone back on the receiver.

“Mom!” Arianna yelled running to her with her arms stuck in one hole of the dress, “Help!” Van grabbed her elbow and pushed it through before adjusting it, “Daddy are you ready!? We can’t be late!”

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming. Well don’t you look pretty.” He smiles at her as they sit down and have their tea party. Arianna handing Nikki a bright pink crown to wear as he reluctantly took it.

Vanity watches them for a minute before deciding to catch up on some laundry. She groans seeing Nikki and Arianna’s hamper overflowing as usual. She grabs Nikki’s pants, going through the pockets as he’s notorious for leaving bass picks and candy wrappers behind. She dumps the trash in the garbage and puts the picks in a little glass jar that’s about half way full.

Van glances at a shred of notebook paper, thinking it might be a lyric written down as she knows Nikki does that. However she wasn’t expecting to find Donna’s name written and a cute little heart next to it, followed by her number and “Don’t loose my number this time. Call me whenever.” under it.

She took a breath in, holding it before exhaling and dumping the rest of his clothes in to the washer. Almost half tempted to dump the bottle of bleach in but decides not too. She slams the washer lid before leaving the laundry room.

“Hey Nikki?”

“What’s up baby?!” He calls for her, laughter in his voice as Arianna talks to her stuffed pig and gives him some juice, well, tea and a bite of the cookie.

“I think you might need this.” Van says, placing the paper down in front of him. Eyes ablaze and cheeks red as she’s forcing herself not to strangle him.

Nikki looks at the paper, his heart dropping to his stomach as he looks up at her, “Van, I-“ His words are futile as Vanity is already walking away from him and heading up the stairs, the slam of the bedroom door echoing after.

Therapy was going to be fun next week.

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galos-writing · 3 years

Text

@pursuit-of-comedy asked: Hi there!! I see that your requests are open, and that you’ve never gotten any Jimmy Emmett requests!! Could I possibly request the reader asking Jimmy to the prom?

Sure thing, hun! This req is so cuteee I had a lot of fun writing it! Enjoy!

«So as I was saying-» a girl was chatting with you, and you were listening to her while you were absently leafing through a magazine. Suddenly, your cheeks began to glow a fiery red as your (E/C) eyes met the silhouette of a specific guy, the one that had been made your heart race like crazy for some months.

Jimmy Emmett, not one of the most popular boys in school, but you surely knew him. Some rumors about him said that he was a maniac, that he liked to jerk off over everything; some rumors even said that he was “dating” a married woman, that Suzanne Maretto that came in school for a niche TV program, one of those bitchy loaded blonde bimbos.

You immediateky hid your face with your magazine, and your friend looked at you with a puzzled expression.

«(Y/N), what the heck are you doing?» she asked, kinda offended because you interrupted her. You bit your lips, as you heard him passing next to you, laughing and chatting with Russell. You followed him with your eyes.

«Can I know why are you acting like this? What’s the matter?» your friend asked again. You lowered your magazine and sighed.

«Nothing, I just didn’t want Jimmy to see me...» you replied, awkwardly scratching your neck and giggled.

«Who?»

«Jimmy Emmett, that guy with long hair and...» you smiled, blushing again. «And, oh, gorgeous blue eyes!»

She gasped, and covered her mouth. She approached your face not to be heard by someone else.

«Him?! Do you know he has fucked with Mrs. Maretto!» she whispered, playing with a lock of her blonde hair. You snorted and rolled your eyes.

«That is a fake rumor, Mary, fuck you! I don’t know why I act like this, but I lose control when I see him!» you covered your face, feeling it become warmer and warmer.

«But, does he know you?» she asked, filing her nails. You weren’t sure.

«I-I guess so, we were in the same French and Chemistry class last year.».

«Wow, such a great friendship!» Mary sarcastically said, rolling her eyes. She spotted the prom announcement, what would be held in two weeks. In her face, a malicious grin appeared. You noticed it.

«I don’t like that face.» you stated. She made you turn and look at the announcement. You looked at your friend again.

«No, you’re not asking me that.»

«Ask him to come with you to the prom! It’s the perfect occasion to confess your feelings!» she exclaimed, excited.

«You’re nuts! I’m not asking him, it’d be too embarrassing!» you made an effort not to scream. Your cheeks were blushng, this time for the embarrassment.

Mary rolled her eyes again. «Keep staring at him and sigh like an old widow lady forever, then!» she crossed her arms, full of self-confidence. You rubbed your eyes with your fingers, sighing again.

«You’re sighing so much that you seem a steam train. So what will you do?» she exclaimed again, her patience was ending. You gave another look at Jimmy.

------

Into the canteen, you and Mary tried to find him: he was sitting on a table at the end of the room.

You stepped back.

«I-I’m not so sure this is a good idea anymore...I think we should sit elsewhere...» you murmured, trying to leave the canteen. Until you saw him loooking at you for a bit, then he smiled and greeted you, inviting you to approach him. He was surprisingly alone.

Mary roughly pushed you, hissing a “Go!”. Your legs were trembling, but you didn’t want to renounce the opportunity. You sat next to him, again after a few months.

«Hi, (Y/N).» he greeted, eating some fries from McDonalds. You asked yourself where did he find those fries, but it was irrelevant. You greeted back.

«Where are Russel and Livia?» you asked, trying to break the ice. You tried so hard to hide your embarrassment, but you couldn’t help but hardly blush.

«Russell had something he doesn’t like, so he went arguing with the cooks. Livia followed him, to make sure he doesn’t punch somebody» he absently replied, mixing some ketchup with a fry, and raised his shoulders. You nodded.

«So, uhm, you are going to the prom with them?» you asked, it felt like a bomb exploded in your heart. He looked at you with his gorgeous eyes, making you feel goosebumps, and chuckled.

«Proms are for geeks, we’re not coming. Have fun, I guess.» he simply said, raising his shoulders again. You felt the floor fall under your feet, but you didn’t want to give in. You instinctively grabbed his hand. He looked at you again, making you feel goosebumps again.

«I-I’d really like you to come. I promise it will be worth it.» you squeezed his hand, approaching again, and blushing. He smiled. «Is it an invitation?» he suddenly asked, squeezing back your hand. You nodded, and he took a sigh of relief.

«What?» you asked, and he blushed.

«Nothing, just...I kinda hoped for someone to invite me and I’m so glad that you did...» he murmured, and blew a kiss on your cheek.

«Why..?» you asked again, approaching more. He approached yoo, shyly smiling.

«Jimbo!» Russell called. He turned and got up.

«Sorry, I have to go. Let’s meet there at 8, I’m telling you there!»

------

«Hey! Sorry, I’m late!» you awkwardly exclaimed. Actually, you were late because you wanted to be as pretty as possible. And it worked, since he was almost hypnotised by you.

«Don’t worry» he murmured, awkwardly looking around «I feel a bit embarrassed by saying this, but I have to admit that you’re gorgeous!»

You giggled and took his hand.

«Are you ready?» you asked. He nodded like a kid.

«Oh, why you wanted me to invite you?» you asked again, hoping for him saying that he liked you.

You widened your eyes, when he suddenly approached you, hugged you and kissed you.

«Claro?» he laughed, blushing like crazy.

@pursuit-of-comedy

#request #Joaquin Phoenix #joaquinphoenix #Jimmy Emmett #jimmyemmett #todiefor #to die for #to die for movie #jimmy emmett scenario #jimmy emmet x you #submission

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chickensarentcheap · 3 years

Text

Never Gonna Be Alone- Chapter 11

Title: Old Wounds

Warnings: none. But there’s always profanity, just an FYI

Tagging: @alievans007, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @tragiclyhip

“Well I’ve got good news and bad news,” Tyler announces, as he descends the stairs later in the evening, pausing at the front entrance to switch off the foyer light and lock the door and set the alarm before joining his wife in the living room. “Which do you want first?”

Esme glances up from the mountains of clean laundry that takes up residence at her feet and on the already cluttered coffee table. Laundry baskets of differing colours are scattered around the room. A larger one that consists of their clothing and smaller containers labelled with each of the kids’ names; the latter eventually being placed in intervals on the stairs in hopes they’ll be carried up to the corresponding rooms. For the most part, the kids are good at getting their assigned chores done. The littles enjoying a ‘sticker chart’ that signifies a treat or toy of their choosing when full, and the older ones satisfied with decent sized allowances. Despite an extremely healthy bank account and money constantly flowing in, they’re still expected to ‘tow the line’; being taught responsibility and learning skills that will help them become self reliant and well functioning adults.

She wrinkles her nose and scowls. “Depends. On a scale of one to ten, how bad IS the bad news?”

“Considering it’s our kids we’re talking about?” He drops heavily onto the couch, wincing at the stiffness in his right knee when he stretches his leg out and places his foot on the edge of the coffee table. The cold weather is aggravating it; causing the arthritis to flare up and bringing with it an incessant ache that seems to have burrowed into the bone. Two reconstructive surgeries and a host of complications later, it’s as good as that leg is going to get. Already told to be prepared for a third surgery before he hits sixty. If he makes it that far. “I don’t know. I guess a four? Five at the most?”

“So that means no broken bones, knocked out teeth, and no one is unconscious or bleeding. In other words, it’s a relatively tame night for our house. Still…” she tosses a pair of mismatched socks into Tanner’s basket. He’s particular; socks always scrunched into a ball, never matching, and his other clothes separated by colour yet not folded, preferring to do it himself once he takes the basket upstairs. “...tell me the good news first. It’s been a weird day.”

“The good news is that all the little ones are already asleep. Tanner’s on his way out but he’s sleeping in the tub in the boys’ bathroom again because TJ and Declan are being too loud. Not even the headphones and locking himself in his happy place were doing the trick. I tried.”

“Well, at least he finds ways to cope and make himself happy, I guess. The bad news?”

“Millie and Alannah are showing no signs of slowing down. So if you’re wanting to actually get some shut eye, you might want to camp out down here. It’s going to be a long ass night.”

“Maybe I’ll borrow Tanner’s headphones,” she says, then grins at him over her shoulder. “That should help fend off your snoring too.”

“It can’t be THAT bad. You’ve been sharing a bed with me for twelve and a half years. I notice you don’t ever head for the couch. You put up with it.”

“Do you know many times in the past twelve and a half years I’ve been tempted to smother you with a pillow? Many. Many. MANY times.”

“Yet I’m still here.”

“Mostly because I wouldn’t do well in jail. I’d never survive in there. And prison jumpsuit orange is NOT my colour.”

“And here I was thinking maybe I’ve survived because you just love me THAT much.”

“It plays a small part in it. But just a small one. Just so you know.”

“You’d miss me. If I wasn’t around.”

“Like a migraine,” she teases, and yelps when he lands a playful yet solid backhand on one of the cheeks of her ass. “That’s not nice. That’s not friends.”

“Is that what we are? Friends? That’s as far as we’ve come in twelve and a half years?”

“Friends with the best benefits,” she chides, and snags an unfolded towel from the pile of laundry on the floor and smacks him upside the head with it. “I wouldn’t complain if I were you. You wouldn’t suddenly want to find yourself facing an extremely long dry spell.”

“I’d be alright. I have three wank files on my phone now.”

“Three? What do you need three for? And how do you even have that many pictures of me in the first place? Are you sneaking them while I’m asleep? Because that’s just...creepy...if you are.”

“Bold of you to assume that it’s just pictures of you.”

She drops her chin to her chest and stares at him pointedly.

“I’m kidding. I only need pictures of you. No one else. Well, there’s a couple of videos too, but…”

“I swear to God, if anyone ever goes into your phone and finds those? I will kill you. In the most brutal and painful way possible. Why do you need videos anyway?”

“Homemade porn. Best you can get.”

“You can’t watch regular porn like regular people?”

“I mean, I COULD. But I don’t want to. I want to watch you. Unleashing your inner porn star. Getting all freaky and kinky and shit. You should watch them with me. Be kind of hot, don’t think? Watch them and make a new one?”

“You’ve got issues. Serious issues.”

“I can’t help it. I can’t help that my wife is a total MILF. That she looks all tiny and cute and innocent but is a freak in bed. You shouldn’t have been so eager and willing if you didn’t want me scooping you up at that quick.”

She smirks. “I thought you said I was a B plus?”

“You were. Until I got a hold of you. Now? Solid A plus, plus, PLUS.”

“So you’re finally admitting that you DID corrupt me. After twelve and a half years denying it.”

“I merely helped you build on your skills. Improve them. I was more than willing to let you experiment on me.”

“Mmmhmm. You know, I was a good girl until you got a hold of me.”

“Like fuck you were. Good girls do NOT bang a guy...for five days straight...that they barely know. Unprotected.”

“I admit, that was not one of my finer judgement calls. But I trusted you. You didn’t seem like the type that didn’t take precautions. I mean, looking like you do and having women in different ports all over the world? That was a given. But you didn’t strike me as the type that wanted kids all over the world. Or STD’s. I trusted you. For some reason.”

“You just wanted the dick. Admit it. You were willing to sacrifice all your morals and standards for it.”

“I will admit to no such things. You were just as into it as I was. You didn’t exactly turn sex down. You didn’t seem too concerned about the whole protection thing. How did you know I wasn’t some hoe crawling with Lord knows what? How’d you know you weren’t going to get the burn?”

“I trusted you. Against my better judgement.”

Smirking, she cocks her head to the side and regards him with a mixture of disdain and amusement.

“You were all cute and tiny and innocent looking. Boy did I learn. Quick.”

“Something tells me you wouldn’t have kept me around if I was TOO cute and innocent. I knew just enough to make you want it, yet still gave you a pretty clean slate to work with. You must be so proud of yourself. Corrupting me like you have. Moulding me into some freak in bed.”

“Babe, you had a freak inside of you, just took good dick to bring it out. You are some of my best work though. You didn’t turn out too bad.”

She gives a derisive snort.

“Aren’t you glad you went along with Nik’s fucked up idea? Was it not the best decision of your life?”

“I don’t know about the best,” she teases, and drops a load of clean wash in his lap. “But you’re on my top five list.”

“Well for what it’s worth, it’s definitely the best decision I ever made. And you have to admit, the whole lack of protection thing? It didn’t turn out too bad.”

“I don’t know about that. She’s turning into quite the hell beast. You know those hellhounds on Supernatural? Millie could be their ruler. In fact, they’d be scared of HER. Although I have figured it out. Why she’s been extra bitchy lately.”

“Please tell me it’s not boys. Bad enough we had one phone here. I don’t want to find out there’s more.”

“It’s not boys. Although…” she drops down onto the couch beside him. “...that will come soon enough. Puberty. It’s puberty.”

“Excuse me?”

“It hasn’t happened yet. The big event. She hasn’t gotten her period.”

“We are NOT having this conversation.”

“As uncomfortable as it makes you, we have to have it. Because it’s going to happen. Soon.”

“She’s eleven.”

“She’ll be twelve in March. I was just shy of twelve when I got mine.”

He turns his attention to the pile of laundry in his lap. “I do NOT want to hear this.”

“I’m just trying to prepare you. The mood swings? The skin breakouts? The fact she’s starting to develop and has already asked me to take her shopping for bras…”

“Don’t. Please don’t. I’m not listening to you. I refuse to listen to you.”

“...means that things are going to happen. Soon. And we need to be prepared. Especially you.”

“Why me? Why do I need to be more prepared than you?”

“Because I’ve had my period for almost thirty years. I’m obviously experienced in these things.”

“And I’ve lived with you for twelve of those thirty years. Who is the one that bears the brunt of the shit storm when you get all mean and moody and shit? Who’s the one that’s been bringing your bitchy ass chocolate and ice cream? Who’s the one that will massage your back and bring you a heating pad when the cramps are bad? Never mind that, who’s had to go to the store and buy you woman stuff?”

“You’ve been very good about it. But in all fairness, if you really think about it? I haven’t had my period that much since we’ve been together. You may have done all those very sweet and amazing things, but you’ve also gotten me pregnant with seven kids. In twelve years.”

“That is a very good point, actually.”

“All I’m saying is that things are going to happen. Soon. And I just want you to be prepared for it. I know it bothers you to think about it. Your baby girl growing up. But she is. Growing up. And she’s doing it very quickly. You need to step up your game and be ready for anything.”

“I really hate you right now.”

“Do you, Tyler? Do you REALLY?”

Leaning into her, he presses a kiss to her temple. “No. Not in the slightest.”

“I just want you to be prepared. In case it happens when I’m not home. So you know what to do.”

“You’re not leaving the house from here on out. Until she DOES get it.”

“You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure everything is in the house that you’ll need in case it does happen. I remember when Riley was going through puberty. My mom was totally useless. It was a disaster when I started mine. She would have been more than willing to just let me bleed all over the place. I had to stuff toilet paper in my underwear and steal money out of her purse so I could go to the store and get necessities.”

He grins. “My wife the felon.”

“So I made sure Riley would never have to go through that kind of humiliation. I made up this basket for her. Pads, tampons, a heating pad, chocolate bars, some pain killers. Everything she’d need. I’ll do that for Millie too. And I’ll put it somewhere where you can find it. So you’re ready if it happens and I’m not home.”

“Do we really have to keep talking about this?”

“Stick your head in the sand all you want, husband. It’s going to happen. Whether you like it or not. I know she’s your little girl. Your miracle baby. But she’s growing up. And it’s happening very fast and there’s nothing we can do to stop it, I’m not exactly happy about it either. This is all happening way too quick for my liking. Where the hell has the last twelve years gone? We’re going to have a teenager. Very soon.”

“Not to make things worse, but we’re going to have three in the house in just over two years.”

“You’re not helping. Seriously though. Where has that time gone? Some days it feels like we just met, don’t you think?”

“Now that I think about it, there are days you drive me as fucking nuts as you did that that first day in Dhaka.”

“Fuck you! I was cute and charming.”

“You were a pain in my ass.”

“But I was a CUTE pain in your ass. You can’t deny that.”

“You were something alright.”

“Look, just because you were having the feels for me and didn’t know how to handle it, that’s not my fault. And for the record, I would have been able to handle myself. In the market. If things went south.”

“Sure you would have. You would have been just fine. All five foot nothing and a hundred pounds of you.”

“Good things come in small packages. You didn’t need to watch me that closely.”

“Yes. I did. I very much did. You know what would have happened if Asif’s thugs got a hold of you? The end result would not have been pretty.”

“I think you use that as an excuse. I think you just wanted me that close because you WERE having feels for me.”

“I am neither going to admit OR deny that.”

“You don’t have to. I’ve caught on to you. You can keep lying to yourself about your motives back then, but I know what you were up to. And it’s very sweet. That you wanted to keep me safe and sound because you had feels for me.”

“Do you want me to be totally honest?”

“Always.”

“I really just wanted to keep you close so I could look at your ass. And because I was hoping to get laid. I needed you to be safe and in one piece for that to happen.”

She stares at him pointedly.

“I’m just saying. You want honesty? There’s your honesty. You were cute and had a wicked body and I was horny as fuck and wanted you to fix that. And boy, did you ever fix it.”

“And I'm still fixing it. Twelve and a half years later. You lucky bastard.”

“I am lucky.” A slow smile spreads across his face. “Very lucky.”

“It’s weird.” She turns her attention back to folding the laundry at her feet. “Sometimes it DOES seem like it was just yesterday. Where DID the time go? How did we end up old enough to have a pre-teen? I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel old enough for that.”

“The way my body is? I feel old enough to have a kid in college, never mind becoming a teenager. Which leads me to the other bad news.”

“Oh God…” Esme groans. “...there’s more?”

“These?” He reaches into the pocket of his sweats and pulls out a pair of reading glasses. “Don’t do shit anymore. I can see up close, but I can’t see fuck all far away. You know what that means?”

“Your eyesight is shit. Which I’ve been telling you for the last three years. Is it just your right eye?”

“That one’s worse.” It’s a mixture of things. The knife that Nathan had dug into his face -the sharp blade cutting deep and causing problems with the surrounding nerves- and the multitude of concussions suffered over the years. The last one five years ago had been the tipping point; causing permanent and extensive damage to the optic nerve. “ But they’re both shit.”

“When we get home you’ll have to call and schedule an eye appointment. And while you’re at it, you should call and get that hearing test done.”

“I don’t need one done. I know my hearing is fucked.”

“Fucked or not, you need one. So you know what you’re dealing with. You might need a hearing aid.”

“That’s a huge ‘fuck no’ from me.”

“I know it makes you feel old; glasses and hearing aids and arthritis and all the aches and pains. But you ARE getting close to fifty. And you’ve had a hard life. There’s been a lot of damage done. Isn’t it better to get on top of those things? So they don’t get worse? I just want you to have a good life. I want you to be around for a long while. And if that means you have to wear glasses on a permanent basis and get a hearing aid…”

“I’m sorry. Are you talking? I couldn’t hear you. It’s my old age.”

“It’s not old age. You’re just an asshole. Always have been, always will be. But you’re my asshole and I want to keep you around. And I know YOU want to stick around. Especially for your kids. So do it for them? Get your eyes and your hearing tested. Please? Because we love you, you insufferable, stubborn pain in my ass. And us loving you? That’s not going to change because you need help hearing and seeing.”

“I’ll be ugly as fuck. If I have to wear glasses all the time.”

“It’s impossible for you to be ugly. In fact…” she plucks the glasses from his hand and slips them onto his face. “...I think you’re quite sexy in them.”

“You know, you’re not half bad looking when I can actually see.”

She laughs and shoves him back against the couch. “You’re a total dick.”

“Fuck you, you love me.”

“I do. Despite my better judgement and the warnings from friends and family.”

Smirking, he lays a hand on the back of her head and pulls her into him; speaking with the tips of their noses pressed together and lips mere inches apart. “Why are you so mean to me? You’re always so mean.”

“I know. You have it so rough. I am the worst wife EVER. I’m horrible. Just horrible. How you put up with me defies all logic.”

“It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. It’s my cross to bear.”

“You poor bastard,” she laughs, a palm coming to rest on the side of his face when he kisses her. Long and slow and sweet, followed by a series of small pecks and then concluded with the press of his lips against her forehead; her eyes fluttering closed and a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. It’s always been one of her favorite things; those feathery kisses placed on her brow and the weight of his hand on the back of her neck and the warmth of his body so close to hers. It’s sweet and it’s pure; intimacy at its most basic and innocent of levels. And her smile widens when a calloused fingertip softly traces the slope of her nose and his lips press against the tip. “You and your freckles.”

“Well technically, they’re YOUR freckles.”

“You’re staring at them aren’t you.”

“Not staring. Admiring.”

“Admiring what? They’re ugly.”

“They’re adorable. And you’re beautiful.” He presses a kiss to each corner of her mouth, hand smoothing wayward strands of hair away from the sides of her face and neck.

Her eyes flutter open. “Why do you look at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like THAT. How you’re looking at me right now. Just so...I don’t know...I don’t know how to describe it. But you always do it. Your face changes. So does the colour of your eyes. It’s like you’re looking at me for the very first time all over again. Even though you’ve seen me nearly every day for the last twelve and a half years. Yet you still do it. Look at me like that. Like I’m the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen.”

“Maybe you are. Maybe to me you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. Maybe all I see is you. Maybe because everything that is amazing and perfect in my life is because of you. All this? A place like this? My kids? Us? None of that would exist if it wasn’t for you. If you hadn’t stuck around on that bridge…”

“But I did. I DID stick around. And if it happened a thousand times, I would make the exact same decision. No hesitations. I did the right thing. No one can ever tell me different.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you put your ass on the line for a guy that was a complete and utter fucking mess.”

“Well I guess I just saw the potential,” she chides, and then kisses him; fingernails lightly scraping along the bottom of his hairline “You know what I really want right now?”

“I’m hoping you’re going to say sex, but I have a sneaky feeling that’s not it.”

“Leftover Chinese food. And my last chocolate croissant.”

“And then sex?”

Laying a hand on the side of his head, she pulls him closer; placing a series of feathery kisses along his jaw and then grinning against his ear. “Maybe.”

*****

An hour later they sit in the sunroom; the remnants of a late night meal on the coffee table, the area illuminated by strings of multi-colored Christmas lights lining each pane of glass and the soft glow given off by the space heater. It’s the kind of quiet and relaxation that is extremely rare to find especially during the holiday season; one that comes only when everything on your ‘to do list’ has been checked off. It’s a relief to have it all done; every last minute gift snagged, almost all the wrapping relegated to a very accommodating and willing Desi, fridges and freezers stocked and the house fully decorated both inside and out.

It had been a learning process; getting comfortable with celebrating the season while still harbouring painful childhood trauma and the memories of six Christmases with his first child. But Esme had made it easier; never pushing him to ‘get into the spirit’ and knowing what lines shouldn’t be crossing and learning to step back when the trauma of the past would begin to fester. Seeing her enjoyment of the holiday had helped; the excitement she shows over something as simple as a walk or a drive to look at other peoples’ lights, the joy she gets in buying things for the kids and keeping the magic alive and seeing their faces light up on Christmas morning. And he’d come around a little bit at a time; a distaste for the holiday becoming more bearable as the years went on and eventually being replaced with actual enjoyment and appreciation. And now that the hard work is done, it’s time to relish in accomplishment; a quiet house and the ambiance and the press of her head against his chest and the feel of her hair as it slowly slips through his fingers. He’d gladly stay there all the night; away from the giggles and chatter that drift down from their daughter’s room, lulled to sleep by the familiar weight of his wife’s body against his and the warmth that radiates from her. Nothing sexual about it; just quiet, soft intimacy in its purest form.

His eyes flicker open when he feels her move away; head lifting from the back of the couch and as her hair slips from between his fingers. “You okay?”

She gives a sheepish, almost nervous smile. “We need to talk.”

“So no, you’re not.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m okay.”

“Babe, nothing good ever comes after ‘we need to talk’.”

“Everything’s fine. The kids are good, I’m good, we’re good. Just something has been eating at me all day and I wasn’t even going to bring it up but I just know it’s going to keep me up all night if I don’t get it out.”

“How bad is this thing that’s been eating at you? Because the way you said ‘we need to talk’...”

“It’s not bad. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, it’s maybe a three. A four. At the most.”

“Okay. What is it? What’s going on?”

“Before I tell you…” she turns her body to face him. “.... there’s some other things I need to say. First, I want you to promise you won’t get upset.”

“It’s obviously worse than a four if you think it’s going to upset me. It takes a lot; for you to piss me off.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘pissing you off’. Just I can totally see why you might take it the wrong way and get defensive. And there’s no reason for you to be. Defensive.”

“It’s not about the job is it? Because we already talked about that and I already said I would stay home. Or at least if I did have to go somewhere, I’d stay completely behind the scenes. So if it’s about that…”

“It’s not about the job. That’s water under the bridge. We dealt with it. And may I add, we dealt with that very well. EXTREMELY well. You didn’t get worked up and we didn’t fight and that’s a big thing for us. A huge thing. And that’s a REALLY nice change; it shows we’re a lot stronger now.”

“So if it’s not about the job…”

“I need you to promise. That you won’t get upset. That you won’t get defensive even though it might seem like you need to be.”

“I promise. I’ll keep my shit together.”

“Second, I need you to know that I love you. More than I ever thought I could love someone. And you ARE the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Hands down. You’re an amazing husband and an even more amazing father and I couldn’t have asked for a better dad for my kids. And I appreciate you so much. Everything you do for us. For our family. How you care for us and provide for us and…”

“As nice as it is to hear all this, you’re rambling. And while I normally find that cute, it’s actually really unnerving right now. So maybe just spit it out? What’s going on? Why are you so edge? What’s got you all worked up?”

“Okay. I’m just going to ask and hope for the best. Just remember, there’s no reason to get defensive and I’m NOT accusing you of anything. It might seem like I am, but I’m not. I promise.”

“Are you going to get it out sometime today or…?”

“How friendly were you? To that neighbour the other day?”

“What neighbour?”

“The new one. The single mom. At the park. Natalie. The tall blond who looks like Sephora threw up on her face? Remember her?”

“What about her?”

“How friendly WERE you with her?”

He can’t help but laugh. “What?”

“You said you talked to her. What did you talk about?”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“There’s a reason I’m asking. I’m not just asking to ask. I knew you met her and I know you talked to her and…”

“And what? What ARE you trying to ask? Because you said I shouldn’t get defensive and it seems like maybe I should. ARE you accusing me of something?”

“No. I’m not. I am not accusing of anything. I know you, Tyler. I know your heart. I know you love me and that you’d never, EVER cheat on me. So I am not accusing you of that. I never would.”

“So then what the fuck? What do you mean how friendly was I? When have you known me to be friendly with ANYONE? Especially people I don’t know. Are you suggesting I did something? Because that is totally it, Esme. I fucked her...in the dead of winter...in public...with my son twenty feet away. Is that what you WANT to hear?”

“No! God no. And that’s not what I’m suggesting at all. I just want to know. What you talked to her about. That’s it.”

“Why? What the hell does it matter? You’re always on my ass about how I should be more social and make an effort to meet people. Now all of a sudden you’re changing your mind? ‘Cause you’re worried about some neighbour? What the hell…?”

“Hear me out, please,” she begs, and takes both of his hands in hers. “This isn’t about me being neurotic and my self esteem issues and my weirdness about other women.”

“Seriously? Because that’s EXACTLY what this is about. This happens every fucking time we go somewhere. You get all worked up because you think women are paying attention to me. Because you think all these housewives and mothers are so thirsty they’d actually give a fuck about me. You think way too highly of me.”

“Okay, first off, no I don’t. You happen to be incredibly attractive. The blue eyes? The smile? The body? The whole vibe you’ve got going on? The resting bitch face? The tattoos and the scars and the whole intimidation factor? It’s very sexy. Whether you realize it or not. And I know you can’t help it. You’re just naturally beautiful. I’m not blaming you for that. But I do have a reason. For being the way I am. For having the issues I do.”

“Yeah, your brain is fucked up. Just as much as mine is.”

“You may not see it...all the women that check you out and thirst over you...but I do. All the time. But we’re not talking about the soccer park or the school yard. We’re talking about the park. And Natalie. The pretty single mom.”

“She’s not pretty. I don’t think she’s pretty.”

“Are you blind? You must be. Your eyes must be worse than my thought.”

“She’s not pretty. Not to me. She’s not my type.”

“You don’t have a type. In fact, your type used to be anything that walked with a wiggle.”

“I’ve had a type for the last twelve and a half years. If you want to call it having a ‘type’. You. You’re the only one that matters to me. You’re the only woman that I give a shit about. You might as well be the only one that exists on the entire fucking planet. All I want is you. That’s it. So what the fuck…?”

“She showed up here today. Asking for you.”

“Who did?”

Esme sighs in exasperation. “Natalie. The neighbour.”

“She came here?”

“And asked for you. She came calling on another woman’s husband. You don’t find that at least a little bit strange? That she would do that? That she would show up on our doorstep looking for you? You don’t find that even a little weird?”

“I find it a lot weird. I don’t know why she’d come here. I wasn’t THAT nice. It was small talk. Nothing more than that. I was my usual pleasant self.”

“Well, you certainly made an impression on her. Enough that she felt comfortable coming here. And talking to your daughter AND your wife. Let me just say, her social etiquette needs some work. She’s not as charming and witty as she thinks she is. Her people skills are a tad rusty.”

“What did she want?”

“To talk to you. To give you her cookie.”

He chuckles. “Is that a code language for…?”

“No. She literally brought you cookies. That she made for you.”

“What kind of cookies?”

Esme’s eyes narrow.

“I’m kidding. That was a joke. Probably not the best time to make one, mind you.”

“Oatmeal raisin if you need to know ALL the details.”

“Worst cookie EVER. You don’t know betrayal until you bite into one thinking it’s chocolate chip and you find out it’s THAT.”

“I’m pretty sure she was also offering up HER cookie. On a silver platter.”

“And if she was? Who the fuck cares? I don’t want anything from her. I talked to her at the park. Welcomed her to the neighbourhood. That was it. Everything else is on her. If she read too much into it, that’s her problem. Not mine. I made small talk and that was it. And you know how much I hate small talk.”

“I know YOU didn’t do anything. I know you. I know who you are and what you’re like. I wasn’t suggesting that you made a move on her or led her on or anything like that. You know that, right? That I’m not accusing you of anything?”

“I know you’re not. But it does seem like you are.”

“I know. And I don’t mean for it to sound that way. It just upset me. Her showing up here. Asking for you. That is so many shades of wrong. Why would someone do that?”

“Why would a man follow someone’s wife home from the post office? Someone’s noticeably pregnant wife.”

“That’s NOT the same thing.”

“You’re right. It’s not. It’s worse. You were pregnant with my kid. You told him you were married. And he still followed you home.”

“And you took care of it. You scared the shit out of him. Knocked him on his ass. All’s well that ends well.”

“Doesn’t mean I liked it. The fact some fucking asshole followed my wife home. You say I don’t notice things? How come you never notice all the men that pay attention to you? I notice it. Why don’t you?”

“It doesn’t happen that often.”

“It happens all the fucking time. And some of them are actually brave enough to be right out there with it. That takes a lot of balls; being that bold in front of someone’s husband. You think I like THAT? When men check you out?”

“You never say anything. You never act like it’s bothering you. If it does, why don’t you just say something?”

“Because I trust you. Because I’m secure. When it comes to knowing how you feel about me. I don’t see these guys as competition. A pain in the ass. But not competition.”

“That’s because they’re not. I don’t give a shit about any of them. I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I am perfectly happy with you. I love the way things are. With you. None of them matter to me.”

“Then why does it bother you what other women do? Why does it bother you so much? You don’t trust me?”

“What? No. I do. I DO trust you. You are not the problem. They are.”

“That doesn’t make ANY sense. How can they be a problem when I won’t let them be? I don’t give a fuck about any of them. How can they cause issues if I won’t let them? What do you think they’re going to do, Me? You can’t steal someone away unless they WANT to be. And you know what? As much as you drive me fucking insane, I am perfectly happy where I am. With who I have.”

“You don’t know what it’s like. Being around that. Those women. You don’t…”

“I DO know what it’s like. Guys check you out all the time. Do you see me going all neurotic about it?”

“Well, being neurotic IS my thing,” she sheepishly admits.

“This needs to stop. You being like this. It has been twelve and a half years of this, Me. And it’s tiring. I love you. And I have to tell you until my very last breath that I love you and I don’t want anyone else, I’ll do it. But it doesn’t mean it it doesn’t grate on my fucking nerves.”

“You knew I was like this. You knew my issues. Going into things. If they pissed you off THAT bad…”

“They don’t piss me off. Is it annoying, yes? Can I live with it? Also a yes. I will put up with it. Until my dying day. Because I love you. But I would give anything to put an end to it.”

“I can’t help it. Being like this. I’m not you, Tyler. You’re secure and you’re confident and you’re able to just ignore other men.”

“Because I trust you.”

“And I trust YOU. You are NOT the problem. And I know it doesn’t make any sense to you. Me worrying about other women when I know for a fact you’d never cheat on me. But I do. Worry about them.”

“Why? Tell me why you worry about them? What do you think they’re going to do, Esme? Tell me. What do you think is going to happen?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“That is NOT an acceptable answer for anyone over six. Try again.”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t know what I’m thinking. But you don’t hear what they say. The women at the soccer park on the school yard. I do. I hear it. I hear them talking about how ugly and plain and boring looking I am and how they can’t understand why someone like you would be with someone like me,” she struggles to hold back a threatening flood of tears. “They don’t hide it, Tyler. They don’t talk about these things in secret. They make sure I hear it. And you know what? It hurts. A lot. And if I tell you something hurts me, you don’t have the right to tell me it doesn’t.”

“I’m not doing that, babe. I’m not saying it shouldn’t hurt you. And I’m sorry. That it does. That you hear stuff like that.”

“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault. You can’t help what they say.”

“Do you want me to say something? To them? The next time I pick the kids up? Because I will. I’m not shy when it comes to telling people off. You know that. And when it comes to protecting you…”

“It would just make things worse. I can just hear them now. Talking about what a cry baby I am and how you deserve a real woman. Don’t say anything. It’ll just set them off. Things are bad enough as they are.”

“Why don’t you tell them to fuck off? You usually don’t back away from shit like that.”

“Because that’s our kids’ school and we’ve been on the principal’s shit list before and I don’t want to make things hard on our kids. But it does bother me. Hearing that stuff. And it DOES hurt.”

“But it shouldn’t. That’s what I’m saying. Just let go in one ear and out the other. Who gives a fuck what they think? What does it matter? I love you. I have always loved you. I always WILL love you. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Isn’t that enough? What I think? Why isn’t that enough?”

“I don’t know. I want it to be. And I know it should be. I know you love me. I’ve never doubted that. Not even during those six months. Even then, I knew you did. You just needed to get your shit together. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I don’t why I’m like this. Why I can’t get past it. I think I’m getting better and then something happens and it’s back to square one.”

“Your mom fucked you up. So did Mark. You went through a lot of shit. Especially with him. But I’m not Mark, Esme.”

“I know. I know you’re not.”

“Do you? Because sometimes I’m not sure you do.”

The tears come freely now; body trembling with the force of the emotions that accompany them. And he places a hand on the back of her neck and pulls her into him; a forearm across the small of her back as her body presses tightly against his and her arms immediately circle his neck.

“I’m sorry,” she sobs against his shoulder. “I never meant to make you feel that way. Like I was comparing you to him.”

“I know.” One hand repeatedly strokes his hair, the other settling at the small of her back. “I know you didn’t.”

“Because you’re NOT him. You’re nothing like him. And I’ve never thought you are. I’m sorry, Tyler. For making you that feel that way. I never meant it.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s okay, Me. He fucked you up. Badly. I’m just the guy that came after. The one that has to try and clean up his mess. And if it takes the rest of my life to do that? Then I’ll deal with it. I can’t make it better. I can’t take it all away; make it like it never happened. I wish I could.”

“I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to be crazy and neurotic and a freaking mess.”

“Well if it’s any consolation, you’re a beautiful mess.”

She manages a small laugh. “I don’t know what to do. To make this better. To make ME better. And it’s not fair to you. To have to deal with this shit.”

“I’ve brought more shit to the table than you have. And you’ve always dealt with it. I figure it’s the least I can do. Put up with your crap.”

“I don’t want to be like this. I can’t live like this for the rest of my life. I just can’t. But I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to fix me. And it shouldn’t be up to you to do it.”

“You’re my wife. You’re the mother of my kids. I love you. It’s what we do. Help each other. Fix one another. You’re not in this by yourself.” He presses a kiss to her temple and tightens his hold on her. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out. We’ll get you past all this.”

“What if we can’t? What if it CAN’T be fixed?”

“Then we live it. I spent the rest of my life constantly reassuring you that I’m not going anywhere. That I love you and think you’re the most beautiful in the world. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. I’ll take one for the team.”

“You’re so generous,” she chides. “Always so willing to sacrifice yourself.”

“Well, we do crazy shit for love. When we get home, you should go and talk to Doctor Klein. Tell him what’s going on. How you’ve been feeling. If anyone can figure shit out, it’s him.”

“You’ll come with me, right? I think you should. Come with me.”

“You know I will. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

She pulls away to look at him, sitting back at her heels. “Nothing?”

“Nothing,” he declares, and lays his hands on the sides of her face and uses his thumbs to wipe away the lingering tears.

“I know all snotty nose and puffy eyed isn’t my best look, but maybe we could have sex now?”

He grins. “Maybe. Would it make you feel better?”

She nods. “Being worshipped ALWAYS makes me feel better.”

“What can I say? I’m always willing to cheer you up. Besides, your body’s a temple, babe. It deserves to be worshipped.”

“It’s a temple, alright. Ancient and crumbling. Probably haunted.”

“It’s beautiful,” his hands move to the front of the plaid shirt she wears; enormous and baggy on her tiny frame. “And sexy.”

“Even after seven kids?”

His fingers tend to opening the buttons on the shirt. “ESPECIALLY after seven kids.”

“You always have the right thing to say. Your sweet talking is improving.”

“I thought you preferred dirty talk?”

“I do. Dirty talk is my favourite. Especially YOUR dirty talk. That voice? That accent? I’m wet just thinking about it.”

“Yeah?” With a playful smirk, he forcibly shoves her onto her back; a palm on either side of her head as outstretched arms brace his much heavier and bulkier frame. “In that case, shut up and let me fuck you.”

#Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Extraction fan fiction

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ugly-anastasia · 3 years

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The Last 10 Years | Oneshot

Note: for the October Jekyll and Hyde task (write a one-shot featuring your character as first the protagonist and then the antagonist) I had an idea to try and tell Annie and Charlie’s story in the style of the musical The Last Five Years, since that is kind of the goal of that show’s storytelling style. Basically the premise is the same story told from two different perspectives, one in chronological order and the other in reverse-chronological order. Just wanted to clarify that in case the format is confusing. Enjoy!

Warnings for: alcohol, references to hazing, lots of messy/unhealthy relationship dynamics, misogyny, some nsfw topics

2021, Annie

The last time Anastasia Tremaine saw Charles King, he was shimmering.

The morning light got in her eyes, Tennessee June out in all its glory as Annie loaded the last box into the Uber that would take her to the airport. Out of the corner of her eye, Annie could see Charlie bending down to give Harlynne and Jaxson each one last hug. The early summer sunshine seemed to sparkle on his Dri-Fit Vanderbilt Tennis shirt because of course it did. The world seemed to part for Charlie King and everything that made Annie squint and stumble and fall just painted him in brighter glory.

It was what she had always liked about him, wasn’t it? That she could look at him and see the sun? Annie’s life had always been defined by the people she surrounded herself with. Rodmilla Tremaine’s screechy daughter, Ella Ashbourne’s bitchy stepsister with the bad fake tan, and then Charlie King’s perky young wife.

Maybe that was her mistake from the beginning. How was she going to define herself now?

2011, Charlie

The first time Charles King saw Anastasia Tremaine, she was shimmering.

Literally. Covered in silver sparkles. The glitter bomb was a new ritual to welcome the Alpha Phi pledges, replacing the traditional surprise Jägerbomb after a lengthy hazing investigation that left the sisters scrambling to replace their traditions with those less explicitly related to alcohol. Of course, it was the first mixer of the year, so alcohol of all kinds was flowing through the Kappa Alpha house, just with enough plausible deniability to say that technically nobody underage was encouraged to drink.

Luckily for the majority of the attendees at this mixer, they tended to have the kind of connections to get a good enough lawyer to get out of that stuff.

Charlie saw Annie sparkling as she stood on the coffee table and glitter rained down on her, shrieking in disgust (but maybe soaking up the attention just a little bit). And he knew that was his girl. She was attractive in a self-conscious kind of way, with her long legs and big nose, like maybe she was afraid she stuck out too much. It was easy to see through fake freshman confidence, and Charlie could already see her posh British accent impressing his parents.

He hung back. He didn’t say anything yet. But Charlie had a feeling he would run into Annie Tremaine again.

2019, Annie

It was really quite plain and simple: Charlie was cheating.

Annie believed she was justified in going through his phone, because he was cheating. The signs were everywhere. He was always “going out to happy hour” after work even though he hadn’t been interested in “happy hour” since he’d started at the accounting firm six years ago. He seemed distracted lately. And his little icon always dropped off of the map on Find My Friends the same time every day.

So when Charlie was in the shower, Annie reached across the bed and unlocked his phone. Unknown number.

Tonight again?

No, not tonight

When??? 😩😩😩

Tomorrow?

Ur gonna make me wait until tomorrow

The anticipation will make it sweeter 😉

And there was her proof. “CHARLIE!” Annie roared, jumping out of bed and pounding on the shower door. She was justified. She had-- what was it they called it on those police procedurals? Probable cause? Annie had probable cause. Charlie came stumbling out of the shower, wrapping the towel around him and looking at her blearily. “Whaa-”

“Explain this!”

Charlie just stared at her. “Did you go through my phone?”

2013, Charlie

The plain and simple explanation was that Annie asked Charlie out.

Two years after that first party where they locked eyes, after Annie had attracted a few whispers for stumbling through some on-off relationships with the more sensitive of the KA brothers, Annie went right up to Charlie at homecoming and asked him out. Charlie didn’t plan on getting tied down to a college girl right after he graduated. And no, he didn’t leverage any kind of power he might have had, because Annie had just applied for an internship at the accounting firm he and his father both worked at. That was her choice. Wasn’t that what feminism was all about or something?

Annie asked Charlie out with the brazen confidence of a brand new Co-Chair of Philanthropy, a confidence she would confess, taking a sip of her cosmo, actually came from Charlie’s encouragement. Last spring, right before graduation, Charlie had told Annie to go after her dreams, and Annie had decided that her dreams lied with Charlie King.

That was what Charlie had to explain to people when they raised eyebrows at his relationship with Annie. She had asked him out. It was even possible she was playing him to get her foot in the door at the firm. Right?

2015, Charlie and Annie

Charlie and Annie had a fight the night before their wedding. It started at the rehearsal dinner, when Charlie’s best man, a lanky KA brother named Ross, got into a tiff with Drizella over something political, and then Annie whispered to Charlie to shut him up, and Charlie didn’t, and now they were in their individual hotel rooms, shouting at each other on the phone.

“He’s my friend, Annie, I don’t control him!”

“I’m not asking you to control him, but you could have pulled him for a chat! Told him to tone it down!”

“Annie, why would that--”

“You have no problem doing that with me when I’m being a bitch! And I’ve done it with you when you’re being stupid! What’s the difference?”

“Annie, I--”

“I know why. It’s because you care more about fitting in with your stupid friends than you care about me! Grow up, Charlie, you’re getting bloody married!”

“Annie!”

Silence.

“Look, Annie, I don’t know what you want me to say. I can’t travel back in time and do it different.”

“I want you to say you’re sorry!”

“Alright, Annie, I’m sorry.”

More silence. For a moment, Annie had a burning feeling that something might not be right. On the other side of the wall, Charlie had the same feeling.

They both wrote it off as cold feet. And the next day, they had a beautiful wedding, and it even made the society pages, and Annie had never gotten so many likes on Instagram. And Charlie’s mother was proud. And the fight was forgotten.

Until it wasn’t.

2013, Annie

Annie asked Charlie out because her mother said she should, and because her friends said that he was a sweet guy but he would never make the first move, and because a cute self-help book she had read said that if Annie didn’t take control of her destiny now, destiny would take control of her. Annie was a strong woman, and Charlie was cute and well-connected, and maybe he was a lot older, but that was the kind of man Annie wanted, anyway. Someone mature. Someone who wouldn’t walk out when things got hard. Charlie seemed steady.

And yes, maybe she told him that she had gotten her confidence from his little drunken pep talk that he gave her right before he graduated, even though that wasn’t really true. And maybe she faked it the first time they hooked up... and the second and third time, too. And maybe Annie swore she listened to all of his mixtapes, even when she found them quite boring. Men had fragile little egos, and Annie knew she could use that to her advantage.

It didn’t matter, because at the end of things, Annie knew that she and Charlie would be perfect together. What was a little white lie here and there, a little corner cutting? It was destiny and she was just helping it along.

2019, Charlie

Cheating didn’t look good. It never did. Charlie had a kid, and another on the way, and a wife who was perfect on paper. Ross’s stare across the table at Buffalo Wild Wings (an old heartbreak haunt from the Vandy days) said all of that. But Charlie believed he deserved some sympathy.

“She’s crazy, man!” Charlie argued.

“Charlie, you’re not supposed to call women crazy anymore. Erica--”

“I don’t care what bullshit Erica read on TheSkimm!”

“Charlie! That’s my wife you’re talking about!”

“Sorry,” Charlie grumbled, biting into his buffalo wing morosely. “But I think if she was paranoid enough that I was cheating on her that she had to go through my phone, then there’s a bigger problem. And, I’m just saying, she could’ve just asked me.”

“And you would have told her the truth?”

Charlie hmphed and threw the bone down on his plate, reaching for another wing.

2011, Annie

The first time Annie saw Charlie, it was from behind.

But what a glorious back of his head it was! Thick chestnut-brown hair, gelled into a perfect side part but not too much that it couldn’t be tousled a little. A pink golf shirt-- there was nothing like a man who knew how to dress. And he was moving with purpose, with animation, like he knew he was the brightest star in the room and everyone around him was so lucky to bask in his light.

He was the shimmering outline of a boy you could fill in with all your hopes. And the other girls had told Annie to stay away from the older boys, that they would play with your heart and drop you by Christmas to ring-by-spring a girl more their speed. But Annie could see the pieces clicking into place. She had been raised to believe if you worked hard and wanted something badly enough and if you weren’t afraid to get your hands a little dirty, you could have whatever you wanted. And Annie wanted this. Badly.

Annie was tired of standing in the shadows. She wanted to attach herself to a boy who commanded the light, so she could shine, too. And she had finally found him.

2021, Charlie

The last time Charlie saw Annie, it was from behind, as she climbed into the car and didn’t bother to give him one last wave before speeding down the highway with the life he had spent the past ten years building.

Annie had gotten everything she wanted in the divorce. It was hard to sympathize with a cheater, especially one who already seemed to have a backup life ready to go as soon as his ex wife and kids were out of the way. Charlie didn’t really feel that way. He mostly resented Annie for blowing this up the way she had, turning one little affair into a marriage-shattering event, fleeing the country with both kids in tow. Charlie didn’t care what Ross said. She was crazy.

Mostly, Charlie mourned what could have been. He could have gone on having it all. He was doing a good job of balancing it. And he had been raised to believe that if he just managed everything tactfully enough, he could skate through life unencumbered, with nobody to say no to what he wanted. For the first time, he couldn’t. And it made Charlie livid.

But maybe it was time for a fresh start. He had Jenna, his beautiful girlfriend. He had his house, still. He had his Nashville friends, who had eventually come around to agree with Charlie that he was in the right (and Charlie believed that they liked Jenna better, anyway).

The worst thing that Annie had done, Charlie decided, was think too highly of him. He wasn’t a man of principle or honor, he just projected that image in the settings where it was necessary. And she had been naive enough to believe in that.

Charlie went back in the house and pulled up Jenna’s contact on his phone. From now on, he wasn’t going to lie about the kind of man he was. And hopefully, that would prevent him from repeating this whole mess over again.

#this was interesting bc i intended to make each character seem sympathetic from their own pov but tbh i think each character is LESS #sympathetic from their own POV #idk what that means but interesting #also i intended to make them equally sympathetic but tbh i don't know if i pulled that off lol #the more i wrote charlie the harder it was to justify anything he did even from his pov lol #but i think annie did some unsympathetic things too #anyway i tRIED MY BEST #idk how much i pulled it off but it was a challenging and fun exercise #bdrptask

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1zashreena1 · 4 years

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I Am Having a Sad -9

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess has a bad and lonely self-esteem day. Diego goes too far too fast from 2500 miles away and she calls her safeword for the first time in her life.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

FEELS. the L word, SAFEWORD, depression/anxiety, self-esteem issues, sensory processing issues, sel-expression difficulties, plus size woman+fit man, soft!Diego, overwhelmed Princess, is a relationship happening?? apparently. Leftover high school Spanish.

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic @symbiont13 @nicke0115 @bunnykjm @rosee-sensuelle @girlpornparadise @mandoplease @heresathreebee @xxsteph-enrixx @jetiikad @joalsglasses @mutantcookiesecrets @demoncatstone @squidlywiddly87 @lockedoutofmyotherblog @poeedamerons

I am having a sad. This is normal and okay. I just have to wait it out. I do not need to text him. This pep talk would be more effective if you would stop staring longingly at the last selfie he sent you.

It isn't working. All you want right now is to be smothered in Diego but he is in a different time zone. And you don't want to be clingy. And demanding. And needy.

Surely making yesterday's selfie your new lock screen will help, right?

With a big sigh you flop backwards into your bed. You eye your phone like it's a live grenade. It hasn't even been eight hours since the last text and. And you have this… pain? In your chest? What if I'm annoying him?

He has to be super busy, I should just wait. What time even is it in LA right now?

You snatch up the phone and check. 7:46 pm PDT. You wonder what he ate today. Did he have dinner yet? What shirt is he wearing? Does he have a headache? He always says he has a headache when he gets back to New York. And then you rub his head, stroke through his soft hair, stretch out his solid neck, break up all the adhesions in those broad shoulders.

Bitch, this is not helping. What do you hate about him?

Oh yeah, that list is blank.

You open up the text conversation and stare at the blinking cursor. Just one text can't hurt, right?

You look at the selfie again. He's in bed, deep plum sheet tucked up under his chin, all sleepy chocolate eyes and a soft little smile. His face is relaxed, leaning against his left hand. His beard is ruffled on one side, flattened on the other from where he must have slept on it. You can feel tears welling up again.

How the fuck is he so gorgeous? Why is someone who looks like that sending me selfies? I have no right to this. I don't deserve this.

You reach out and trace one finger down his cheek. His right dimple is visible under the stubble. Minimizing the picture, you go back to the cursor. The screen is blurry until you blink and one tear slips out.

You type out one hasty 'hey' and hit send before you can quadruple guess yourself. This is stupid. He's too busy for your little drama queen hissy fit meltdown.

Sorry, should've asked if you're busy first

Send.

Enough time passes that you flip the phone screen-down and plop it on your heaving chest. You bring both hands to your face and press into your closed eyelids. Just as you reach back down with a huge sigh the phone vibrates.

Princessssss. You know I'm never busy to you

You choke out a sob-laugh and try to breathe normally. Okay, now a decision. Idle chatter or metric fuckton of feels? While you waffle about it, Diego initiates a videocall. Oh, hell no. You jab 'Decline' so hard it bends your nail back.

What is wrong? Why can't I see you?

I just look like shit rn. Please don't

That has never been true. Mi princesa bonita

Always quick with the compliments. You sniffle.

I just. I guess I just miss you. Tonight

Perfect, you hit send before could have deleted it. Great job. Wonderful. Brilliant.

Is everything ok? This does not sound like sexytimes

Oh, Diego.

Yeah, I'm fine. Mostly. I mean nothing is wrong, its just me

Just me having feels

… should you have sent that? Probably not. Do you regret it? Yes, instantly. In fact, if preemptive regret were possible you would already have drowned in it.

The phone is quiet for a minute. Good job dumbass, now he IS annoyed.

What kind? Sad feels? Headache feels? Work is stupid and frustrating feels? Huffy feels that require cheese? You have many feels. At all times. It sounds exhausting

Yep. I'm annoying and clingy. You chastise yourself rather effectively.

You're right. Sorry. I got this

Does that sound bitchy? Is it bitchy? Oh my god, I need an off button.

Nonono. I asked. You have to answer. Its a rule

Your laugh is sharp.

Since when do you care about rules lol

When they're your rules. We agreed to answer direct questions honestly, yes?

Well fuck. He got you there. You had agreed to that. When you two sat down in your living room after the Emotional Spanking*™ and had a 'groundframe setup' discussion. Sometimes you were fairly certain he mangled phrases just to watch your eye twitch violently. Little shit.

OK fine. I'm feeling shitty about myself. Happy??

Now that is bitchy.

FORBIDDEN

And no, that does not please Diego

And is that why I exist? To please you???

Before you can stop it, your temper flares.

No Princess. The other way. Let me please you

Oh no. Oh shit. What. Is. Happening?? You are royally fucked now. This entire conversation has gone so completely off the rails that you can't even define a 'train'. Those little bouncing dots have not stopped yet.

Should I tell you how I miss you? How these stupid meetings and these stupid people and my stupid sister bore me when I would rather be listening to you read a dictionary? Or sing every word to every song ever played on the radio? Or explain the differences between cat breeds?

Or maybe I could say how ridiculously empty this bed is with only me in it. How there are no tiny socks hidden under the comforter. Not a single lip balm in sight.

Perhaps you need a list of everything I would touch. The soft lips. A little bitty hand. That tiny ribcage. Those thick thighs. With my beard, ofc. Your forehead with mine?

Oh. Ohh. Oh no. This is not fair. This is an attack. How did he just break me like this? Your face is flushed and you are crying outright now. You have to stop this right now.

Stop.stop please. Diego no

Diego yessss

You can't take anymore. This isn't funny. You can't even form words. When autocorrect suggests the picture of a pineapple you stab it and then hit send in rapid succession.

Pinnaea🍍🍍

………………………...

Your phone emits one aborted ring then it cuts off.

Can I call? Please

You're trying to figure out a way to calm yourself, to stifle the heaving gasps and whiny sobs. You're nodding. Not useful, idiot, you scold yourself.

No video. Just talk. Please Princess

You can't say no to that when he is trying so hard.

Ok yeah

You barely see the message load on the screen when the ringing starts up again. Smacking the green button entirely too hard, you hold your breath to stop the pitiful sounds.

"Princess?" His voice is cautious, tone soft.

"I'm h-here." Is all you can manage. Any more and you'll burst into sobs again.

"Are you in bed?" Keeping it short and precise. Yes or no answers. Nothing too demanding.

"Yeah. S-s-sitting." He is being so sweet. How is someone like Diego so sweet to you. Something rustles in the background.

"What was it? A specific word? Or just too much?" His voice is hushed, like he might be in a small room…

"Are… are you in a c-c-closet?" Is he really…? You hold your breath.

"Si. Your closet is too small. I was going to send you a picture." He answers.

You absolutely cannot deal with this man.

"Baby, I--" Your stupid soprano voice gives away how emotional you really are. He was going to send you a picture of a closet big enough for you to hide. Probably a panoramic shot so you could fully visualize it. Your chest compresses and you gasp.

"Princess? Talk. Make a noise. Something!" He sounds panicked. You suddenly remember he can't read your face this way. He can't see your pleased smile.

"That's. That's just. Diego, I love you so much." Its out before you can stop it. Even though you know he can't see it, you still hide your face.

"Love." He breathes softly into the phone. "Tell Diego what you need, my good little girl." His voice is quiet, controlled. He is letting you lead him where you want him. Everywhere. Forever.

You feel safe enough to actually confess, "I just have a, a really hard time believing… all of. That." You wave your hand in the air vaguely. "Not that you're lying!" You rush to clarify. "Just that anyone could actually like, well seems to, at least, everything…?"

"Did that make any sense?" You chew your lip anxiously.

His soft chuckle makes your stomach flip. "Well, it was technically English." Your snort sends him into quiet giggles.

"I like hearing you laugh." You whisper. He goes silent. You tense up.

"Perfect little princess. No one has ever told me that before. Most people are frightened of my laugh." He seems a little bewildered by his own words. Like he didn't mean for that to come out but now he definitely wants to hear the reaction.

You cover your smile, then pick up the phone so you can lie down. "Apparently I'm not most people." You feel around blindly until you locate TMP (Tiny Murder Panther) and tuck the stuffed animal under your chin for cuddles. "I like your voice, too. Like when you talk to me. Sometimes its just the words. Or rather my ingesting of them of that trips me up." Your quiet sniffle is hidden in silky black fur.

"The words are the problem? Do I need a, a…. The book with words that all mean the same thing." He bites out.

Sometimes you forget that English is his second language. Then things like this happen. And its fucking adorable.

"Thesaurus. Synonyms, baby." Your smile is audible.

"I know!" He huffs in mock indignation.

"I know you know. That's cute, though."

"So are your little 'aqui's and 'si's and 'ahora's."

"Fine! Gawd!"

You both dissolve into laughter. It fades into easy silence while you rub your cheek over faux fur.

He sighs gently into the phone. "Was it the forehead touching?" His voice trembles a bit, like he is unsure that he should have asked. As though afraid. A little overwhelmed, just like you.

"Um. Yes. Actually. That was. Yeah, that did it." You blink back tears. "We have a thing. We're a 'we'."

"That is what you want, yes?" Diego sounds cautious. As if he might accidentally utter an irreversible spell or something. Then, a quiet whisper, "It's what I want."

You suck in a deep breath and decide to just force it out. Just take what you desire. Jump already.

"I want you. I don't think a typical, um, relationship would work. But, people can define themselves. Relationships should operate the same way."

That… that actually sounded decisive and authoritative. Wow. You're really that bitch tonight, huh? You are very pleased with yourself. You can hear something sliding against the phone but can't identify the sound.

"There she is." The wide smile in his voice stabs directly into your heart. It was his beard rubbing the phone when he smiled. You laugh with his approval, pleasure burning through your veins.

"Maybe I can write some stuff down. For discussion purposes. Maybe you can write some stuff down for me. Reading it makes it seem more real to me."

"If that is your royal decree, Princess." He shuffles around, you can hear clothing rustling.

"Do you really like finding my orphan socks?" Your voice is sly, like a kid springing a trap question. He likes that smirky tone and you know it.

"They are cute. Just like the tiny feet. You are so very little, Princess." Oh, but he knows exactly how to flip the trap back onto you. The sound of muffled tapping comes through the line. "Tiny feet. Added to the list." His voice echoes the smallest bit, he must have you on speaker so he can access the note app. "Next item: fat ass."

You explode into guffaws. "Damnit Diego!" Your wheezing almost drowns out his husky laughter.

"Wait! I almost forgot! Fan-tasss-tic. Rrrrack." He sounds out the words as he types them. You lose vocal control again, giggling like a child. Logically you know these juvenile jokes shouldn't be this amusing, but clearly you both have the same maturity level.

"Baby, you are my favorite pervert." Your declaration is met with haughtiness.

"I had better be your only pervert, Princess." The possessive tone straightens your spine with shock. "You are mine!" He growls fiercely.

Everything is quiet for a very long minute. You seem to have consumed every butterfly, hot sauce, and poprocks-and-cola mixture on the planet when you weren't paying attention.

You think about all the gifts. Designer purses, specially tailored clothing, the six pairs of redbottoms you now own, how the last ring he gave you still twinkles up at you from your right hand (he took great pleasure in ensuring it fit your middle finger so you can still be pretty while you flip him off).

You remember all the places he has taken you. The Michelin starred restaurants, that hole-in-the-wall Mexican place where they know him by first name is your favorite, the stupid stores he wanders through with you, the cheesy tourist traps where he always gets you a hideously clichéd souvenir.

Your memory flashes through a slide show of his laughter. Gleeful giggles at your horrified reaction to the neon orange lipstick he presented in Sephora. His wheezing delight when you gagged on the seaweed appetizer he shoveled into your mouth before you could object. The gentle, knowing chuckle when you pulled TMP out of your bag to take a nap two weekends ago.

You realize he is entirely correct.

"Yes I am, Diego." Is your quiet confirmation.

"Bicki. I." He seems startled. You stay silent and let him gather his thoughts. The swallow is audible before he continues hesitantly, "I will see you this weekend, mi amor?"

All the ways this man says 'I love you' are so many more than just the actual words. Your pleased smile stretches your cheeks so far it hurts.

"Yes please!" Your shameless request ends in a yawn. "Sorry."

"You need to sleep for work, Princess. I have one last meeting here then I will be there tomorrow."

You wish he was here now but keep that to yourself.

"OK, let me know when you're here."

I am so not wearing panties under that new maxidress for the flight up and demanding that he pick me up personally. Yes. A perfect plan. You amuse even yourself with your scheming.

"Be careful tonight, Diego. I want you to come home to me." The thought of anything happening to him crushes your throat.

"I, I want that, too. Love you." All comes tumbling out of him in a rushed confession of quiet hopefulness. It makes you so happy that tears well up again. Fucking stop this, woman.

"Love you. Bye, baby." You whisper warmly, hoping he can feel even an ounce of how deliriously happy he makes you.

"Goodnight, Princess." The reply is sighed, full of self-conscious relief and pleasure. His rough voice is so calm and soothing that you nod off before the line disconnects, face tucked into his miniature proxy.

…………………………...

Incoming text

Friday 12:09am

From: Murder Panther

🥰💋💟💯🔜

#damnit diego #murder panther #24 fucking 7 hours in this house #the feeeeeels #zash writes #i hurt myself with this one guys #safewords aren't just for physical stuff

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tripstaysnoided · 4 years

Text

Flow Just Like Water

youtube

Story and writing-related transparency update and my many shames...

The Question on Everyone’s Mind

“Hey you haven’t updated No Stars over Uptown in almost a year...”

Hmm, I hate it when you’re right. (This section has been rewritten ad-nauseam to curb back the bitchiness by the way)

So back in early/mid 2018, the idea was to divorce Uptown from a person who influenced it (and myself) heavily. She was my most important audience member, the closest friend I ever had, and unfortunately someone who used her power to bully, ostracize, and hurt others with my help. I cut contact when the hurt + some self-awareness finally reached me. Apologies were made and I feel like my work will never be done with it, but there was still Uptown.

Between censored comments, entirely recasting Axel’s save, different plot threads, and a load of disclaimers, there was nothing that would scrub her influence from the story. There was no way to cleanly drop everything because of how deep her influence went. It disgusted me to look back at it, and I had to private the blog because I feared what it endorsed, even if just in the past.

I pulled back from that sims writing community. I had its main thread on the Official Forums removed too (I guess if that was a mystery to anyone). It was a surrender that I never wanted to do, but I had it in my mind that if I was gone, then she wouldn’t be there either. Uptown became this cursed item, and as I quietly retired it, I noticed that she went quieter too. Not gone, but enough to make me sleep easier at night and even occasionally say hello to old friends.

And I hope deep in my heart that no one else is getting hurt in my place, but now this is gonna haunt me all day huh!

The two paths forward...

1) Complete Uptown rewrite that I’ve been threatening everyone with all year. While it won’t ever be clean because I can’t undo time, I do have a sound outline for a story that is much more true to my actual vision and how I’ve evolved, with a few necessary boundaries in place that are going to be there for all stories moving forward: no more casting calls and no more collaborative efforts. I am not going to open myself up to this happening again, even if the people have changed.

2) Same as above, but I continue the original Uptown as a favor to loyal readers alongside the rewrite. I would try to put the effort into it that I initially did, but with no promises on an update schedule and no advertising. I did ask myself “is there Patreon but without pledging money, just the private posts function” but it could operate as part of a private forum, a members-only part of a website, etc.

Also readers of the original would be beholden to a rule of “don’t spoil the rewrite for new readers, c’mon guys”. I mean, not really, but it is a good courtesy to extend to people.

Priority on this isn’t high but you at least will see what is!

I will probably make the blog public again either way due to the many broken links on my Tumblr but we’ll see. There are other things to deal with as I shall list!

Where Life’s Been Regardless

Been spending more time with my grandpa every weekend. Life’s pretty good and he’s warming up to my dogs.

Shiny New Webbed Site

Cucumber Fields Forever is a site I own now. We have a full domain, cucumberfieldsforever.com, a blog with one post, and the framework needed to host stories the way I want to and still through WordPress. The functionality of likes, comments, and following should still be the same but you know...I’ll take feedback too...

The main blog still has an undefined purpose though I do have drafts sitting around about:

The maybe/maybe not hoax band that was on the Metal Archives and the history of Funeral Doom Metal.

The curious case of when Sims 4 babies get their genetics and my only collaboration (read: was talking about it with a friend and might quote her if needed, it’s actually a bit of a doozy)

Amazon.com’s fake dried udon noodles, an actual issue by the way.

Things I’m reading! (This’d be a monthly feature if so)

For the sake of unity, I am thinking of solutions for hosting old and shameful content there including Uptown and for the real fans in my followers feed, Eight Cicadas...a world I totally have plans for too (not really). I don’t want them to be front-and-center, and that’s why I mentioned forums/members-only content. I finally have that power! Maybe.

Ooooh but what are the costs? Not too much to handle, that’s what. 😉 (Like really, I don’t need any hand-wringing about this, I can manage my finances)

Project Queue (In Order of Confirmedness)

Outrun the Scythe: have you seen me post out-of-context Sims 3 pictures? Did you want more? Did you hope it was Linda in Custody? If the answers are yes, yes, and “meh, whatever you want”, then you’re in luck.

Outrun the Scythe is a Sims 3-based tale of a young gay man and his zombie grandma, as they are both offered separate roles of being the undying intermediaries between the world of humans and the influence of a race of space daemons. It’s pretty familiar if you’ve been following me pre-Uptown, taking some cues from stories I’ve kept under lock and key like Eight Cicadas, The Chains of Lyra, and the not-so-locked-up Ironstar Immortals (of which Outrun is just the direct sequel to sans any retconning...ah the smell of early 2013 and performative heterosexuality)

Ah, back to my roots.

It’s a hybrid of gameplay, story, and lore about my little race of daemons with a lot of my own idiosyncrasies that I’m not really ashamed of: basing it off a super-polarizing Sims 3 challenge from a site I moderate, using a lot of EA’s pre-made townies and their genes, lots of unnecessary posemaking, stupid references. It’s a comfort to have in my roster.

While the first few chapters are in the middle of revision, I have around six in the queue and will be making this public when I have ten. I’m guessing December then?

Undocumented Black Widow Challenge: I just did this for fun/forum kudos (yes, in fact I have joined many forums), there was going to be a short story but it was quickly becoming something against my code of ethics. I mean, sims die and all. (read: I had to choose between “heterosexual widow” and “widow with some same-sex marriages that still end in tragedy, reinforcing negative stereotypes to the public for the sake of me not getting bored and detached during gameplay” so there were no good choices. Except for her affair with the mailwoman, 10/10) I hope to finish this before October ends and get my medal on Boolprop, I’m pretty far through it all. I might upload the sims involved anyways. This is for TS4.

I mentioned it because it’s keeping me busy. But not for long!

NaNoWriMo 2020: Dipping my toes into that again! It’s not sims-related, just a tale of lesbians, nosy neighbors, a haunted beach house, and some light murder and kidnapping. And I actually got my brother to scout out locations for me this weekend. If there’s any demand, I can share chapters as the rough drafts are finished, especially for the sake of proofreading.

Not saying I’m publishable, but wouldn’t it be nice? Will keep me occupied for much of November.

Untitled “Dear Diary” Challenge: Tired of feeling left out of the fun on the Boolprop forums, their “Dear Diary” challenge was the one that appealed to me the most on first glance. Why? Probably once I found an idea that let it be set in the early/mid-2000′s to begin with and explore some interesting characters through diary entries (which I have mixed feelings on as a literary device but I think that’s just me saying “well I didn’t like Dracula”, yes you get bonus points for writing it like a diary)

Also writing is the one skill I’m good at across multiple games. Wanna hear me bitch about the cooking skill tree in TS4 or riding in TS3? I’ll spare you.

I guess I could have included “spending time on Boolprop with old and new friends” in where my life has been. It’s a nice lil community if also a place with its own idiosyncrasies as well. So it doesn’t feel like I’m promoting another community if/when I make a thread there for Outrun the Scythe, I want to have a couple chapters of this ready to go by Outrun’s release, though it’s not gonna be the highest priority compared to it nor as long because I think I can blast through the gameplay quickly.

This one will be played in TS4 due to it having the easiest writing skill/I dunno variety is the spice of life. And hopefully another December release.

Defunded or Forgotten?: Oh shit I actually released stuff in 2020 and told no one? I do have a “mortifying ordeal of being known” sinking feeling whenever I get a site hit because it’s not my best work (but good enough) and veered sharply into issues I may be over my head in, though I try to be a good noodle with research and listening. Maybe hiding is bad after all.

Being based off a very flawed and incomplete Sims 3 challenge I found in the annals of the Official Forums, there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes work just making sense of things. And I’m scared of working on reconstructing the house but I haven’t abandoned the project yet. The story has eight chapters so far and is pretty game-based with some additions here and there. Scared of how long it could be though!

Date for this unknown.

Untitled Sunlit Tides Decadynasty: another year-long abandoned TS3 project with a much stupider reason why. Last update was about Hua getting ready for her wedding, and I wanted to do some poses for a bait-and-switch wedding chapter because to put it mildly, her real one was an absolute disaster.

Blender decided to fuck up its interface again, I got discouraged (this probably does account for some of the Uptown delays too), and when I decided to plow forward, it was for other projects instead.

Meanwhile I played all the way to Gen 5′s teenhood and the only thing stopping me is time (it takes almost 30 minutes to load the file right now, though they’ll be looking at moving towns in a couple gens) and maybe fear of the Logic skill.

Date for this also unknown but it’s easy to pump out updates once I’m in the groove for it. My third heir had a difficult life so maybe I’m just trying to bury it.

Also I just noticed the view count there was really good and probably because I linked it here on Tumblr last year. Thank you so much guys. I can’t really fret over views on Carl’s forum these days thanks to the years-long death spiral pretty much every forum anywhere has been riding on. But it’s a nice surprise. And it’s an alright little challenge recap to read during your lunch break or whatever.

The Wawas

I figured I’d end on the real news everyone wants! Both the chihuahuas are a year and a half now and reached their adult size around a year ago. For the most part, they are happy and healthy dogs.

#state of the uwunion #long post

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