#being trans was a complete disregard for his character or something? and then said he wouldnt elaborate followed by a fire emoji
Text
some idiot said sonic being trans was ooc yesterday so i made this lol stay mad
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#rawky art#trans rights#his top surgery scars glow ive decided#and im going to use this all the time#just to spite that fucker cause oh my god#listen#tw transphobia#this is the one time a transphobic comment has actually made me laugh hysterically#they said something like#being trans was a complete disregard for his character or something? and then said he wouldnt elaborate followed by a fire emoji#i was HYSTERICAL#AND I NEEDED THAT AFTER THIS WEEK BECAUSE THE REST IF THE TRANSPHOBIC SHIT IVE SEEN HAS NOT MADE ME LAUGH WHATSOEVER#BUT IT ACTUALLY LEFT ME FEELING GOOD TO DUNK ON HIM I DONT NORMALLY DO THAT#LIKE EVER#anyways sorry for tag spam enjoy the png explosion
522 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ok so I know you haven't officially trans anyone's gender in any of your Hazbin fics, but I lowkey get really trans vibes from Alastor in most of your fics?
Idk, it's a little hard go explain but what really tipped me off was his... distaste? Disfavor? Aversion? To his "male body" in one of the 666 fics. (I think the line was something akin to "the male body being what it is" in reference to Alastor getting hard fairly quickly).
There's honestly a lot of interesting things to speculate in relation to how Alastor views his body. Especially with his relationship with touch, and how he initiates touch and how he actively dislikes it (depending on the person).
Not to mention his feelings regarding his non-human features. How he doesn't inherently dislike them for being what they are, or rather, that they're "abnormal", but more so that they're not what they're "supposed to be", and not "what he was before" (though I do think that his dislike of his deer features is linked to his dislike of how he died, being viewed as something so easy to be put down - an animal).
Which also relates to how dressed Alastor constantly is. How he shields away his body using clothing, a customizable thing that he takes great pride in making sure is up to his standards (notice how when his coat is damaged he immediately goes to get it fixed, even though the ends of his coat is already damaged. He seems to have very complex opinions on how, exactly, his coat is supposed to be damaged)
I do think that Alastor's preference to being so dressed is linked to his dislike of vulnerability, but I also think it's a very trans(tm) move, lol.
(And I also do think that his dislike of vulnerability is tied to his transness, kinda in a weird "chicken and egg" scenario.)
I find it really interesting how Alastor's true feelings are revealed by his shadow, a being that can transform to look different, is mostly hidden, and is internally mysterious. Idk, it's just very trans(tm) to me!
I also think that Alastor's transness is linked to how he views masculinity, how he seems to automatically like woman, while automatically disliking man. How this is also tied to his parents. I've noticed in your fics (and could be completely wrong about) that Alastor seems to relate femininity (and his mother) with "safety" (how he compares the gentle touch in your last fic with feeling like his mother and his like of jambalaya).
I'm not sure if I would say that Alastor is a trans woman, but I also wouldn't say he isn't. Overall I think he has a very complex view of gender, but it's definitely something he doesn't put a lot into. Which relates to him not knowing what asexuality is.
I have a lot more Alastor trans thoughts, but this ask is already getting pretty long so I'm just gonna cut it off here. I hope I made sense, and that you're comfortable with me speculating on a character you've written about gender. (Totally valid if you're not though! If so, then please disregard this ask!)
I'll take "asks that made me realize I'm out here accidentally writing a character as nonbinary" for 300, please! Please prepare yourself for the mistake of letting me have a keyboard and talk about gender after 9pm, so sorry to literally everybody else.
You're gonna get a real fuckin' kick out of the first bit of the next 666 that I'm gonna post tomorrow. ;) It's definitely the point where I finally acknowledged to myself that I have a strong urge to inject some genderfuckery into Alastor in the form of him continuing to use his thing with Vox to explore his own relationship with, like, existing in his own body, and then also threw those feelings all over Angel Dust like a fistful of glitter while I was at it.
Like you said, I wouldn't say that I've ended up writing him as a trans woman, but I think I have seen him from the start as a character who is not exactly cis in a wibbly-wobbly way I have not previously defined but that I think I would perhaps characterize as "gender: monster condescending to play at humanity."
I don't think he eschews masculinity entirely, for what it's worth. He definitely strikes me as a person who aligns himself with the image of a smiling gentleman (if a hellish one) as the proper way for a person like him to be, and for whom that is an important, comfortable, and satisfying part of both his identity and how he relates to both his female friends and to men. However, he also strikes me as someone for whom that part of his identity is what he shows the world on purpose, presented as he would like it to be seen, rather than as something that reflects his bodily preferences. To put it another way, if he'd been AFAB, I think he would put just as much into his presentation, just in the direction of femininity, and it wouldn't make him any more or less comfortable with himself.
You're right in that I've definitely written him with a faint distaste for the mundane physical reality of his body, and a lot of this comes through in how he alternates between short moments of fascination with what new things his body is doing as he explores it and decides whether or not he likes it, and his much longer moments of utter disregard for the same thing. It also extends to the rest of his mundane humanity, though: his physical limits, his adrenaline-rush of fear, etc. He values the coat, the cane, the reality-bending static, the smile - but whatever he sees in the mirror when he gets undressed or whatever doesn't function to his purposes, he can take or leave.
I see Alastor as someone who defines himself first and foremost as the radio demon: not a person, but a monster and an enigma. A voice and a personality. Everything else is more or less incidental, and he would prefer to keep it set aside, thank you. The occasional dysphoria isn't just about his sex, it's about the humanity of his body as a whole.
#ask#alastor#hazbin hotel#personal#vengeful-velvette#vengeful velvette#long post#gender#my writing#meta#anyway I don't think I'll be tagging him as nb because idt he would identify himself that way even if it was explained to him#(unlike the aroace thing I suspect)#but! jazz hands! now you know!#all of this said I would be REALLY down for writing ftm Alastor if I hadn't already committed to him possessing a dick lmfao#but that version of 666 would have even less internal acknowledgment of his body from his narration
61 notes
·
View notes
Note
I don't know that much about superboy so forgive me if this is a silly question but what's the deal with Magdalene Visaggio?
not a silly question, dw!! if you haven't read many kon comics it probably doesn't look particularly noteworthy but OOF. OOF.
the tl;dr of it: despite being paid to write him once, she also hasn't read kon comics and it really, really, really shows. i'm talking geoff johns levels of flagrant disregard for the existing character - maybe even worse than geoff? which i say only because i know geoff did read sb94 even if he didn't act like it. but that's off topic; this isn't a geoff hatepost. this is a magdalene hate post.
under a cut for length, lets goooo!
so we start out with her canonizing supermartian. already off on the wrong foot - that's a ship out of yja the tv show which is a completely separate continuity from main comics and a completely different kon than main continuity kon. despite supposedly knowing that, she still shoves them into a relationship in main continuity, despite them never having actually interacted on page in main continuity.
she then goes on to characterize kon as angry and entitled and uncaring, and also in high school again. not only does she directly contradict all of his preboot existing characterization (which is important because kon-el never got reset during flashpoint - he was in another universe and thus dodged that bullet. current kon-el is canonically the same kon-el as pre-flashpoint/postcrisis kon-el.), but also she directly contradicts both young justice (2019) and superboy: man of tomorrow, which are in current continuity, leading one to really wonder if she has read a single comic kon appeared in at all. it's also worth noting that the asshole with anger issues characterization is, once again, much truer to the young justice animated tv show than any comic kon.
also worth noting is that the infamous red hair dye streak? well, uh...
yeah..............
on her twitter, she once said something about kon-el not being a good name because it's "still a name someone else gave him", called him "the jason todd of the superfamily", and insisted that the meaning of a trans narrative is "burning down your life and reevaluating your place within it":
kon-el is a name gifted to him to signify his acceptance into his family (superboy (1994) #59) and he was so overjoyed to receive it that he cried. overall, the superfam are very supportive and loving, and introducing strife just to make him run off and live with jinny hex instead of them just because she thinks one can't transition and retain previous relationships is... not it, lol.
her pitch also contained some outrageously egregious christianity bullshit, like villains named "saint", "shepherd", and "savior", as well as direct comparisons between clark and jesus christ. this is... sorry i really just have to say this is Fucking Cringe. i guess the more polite way to put it would be "incredible gauche" (considering the jewish origins of the superfam) but i just can't call it anything else. This Fucking Sucks Dude. i won't even get into the weirdness about genetic bullshit she leans into by introducing kon's "brother" who's also part luthor, part superman, but "luthor-dominant" (lol?) (do you know how genes work even a little bit).
she has quoted the one panel from reign of the supermen where kon says "don't ever call me superboy" a few times, claiming it's the first thing he ever said and no one listened. to me this essentially reads as her going "i've read one of his appearances and i would like to throw out the like 200 issues of character development he had since then in favor of making him my own self-insert to explore MY transition and religious trauma".
basically she doesn't seem to know how to write a story that's not about herself. as a trans person with a positive relationship with my given name (because as a first-gen kid of two diasporic immigrants, it provides an important tie to my family's cultures, to me) and with trans friends who involved their parents in picking new names and so on and so forth, i honestly find it very reductive and white to insist there's only one trans narrative and only one good way for trans characters to be named. i also find her putting her own christian religious trauma into a superfam story off-putting and . well. fucking cringe. i understand and respect that that is her story, but it sure ain't universal and i won't be able to respect her as a writer until it becomes clear she gets that.
#answers#noon-shadows#i feel like i'm still forgetting something i wanted to mention which is ridiculous bc this is already so long#but oh well maybe if i remember i'll come back to add it!#kon
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Let's discuss: Queerness in Tokyo Ghoul!
To start off, I just want to mention that these are things I have noticed. Nothing is necessarily canon (or non canon) but it's something I'm very interested in. I've been learning a lot in the queer horror club I'm in and it's been really fun dissecting Tokyo Ghoul in the same way!
This will go character to character. It's not going to be a complete list as there's SO much to cover but...
Kaneki: Not to state the obvious but his friendship with Hide surpasses a Lot of what heteronormativity usually allows. I don't think he's even fully aware of his attraction until after he meets Touka. Because Hide had been such a permanent fixture in his life growing up, they never really had ever been apart. Their bond is deep and strong and definitely can be looked at from an extremely queer perspective. (I'm not trying to say that all men who show affection to one another are queer because that is simply not true.) Once he becomes a ghoul and he has that separation from Hide, I think that is when his sexuality is fully recognized. Especially in the manga, his bond with Hide runs deeper than with almost every other character. I'd say the exception to that rule is Touka in :re. In the manga during the death kiss, he didn't even know if Hide was real or not. He was in such a state of disorientation and confusion but Hide was still the one that he saw. Of course, Hide was actually there with him. But because Kaneki was in such a delirious state, surely he could have hallucinated the death kiss to be with Touka? Or anyone else? Why specifically did Hide come to mind during that time? Again, he was in a moment of crisis and Hide had always been that stability for him but it's just curious to think about...
Hide: I've seen and read so many different rumours about how Sui Ishida intended for Hide to be canonically bisexual. However, I can't find that interview or confession ANYWHERE in a way that makes it clear that Sui Ishida actually said that so we will disregard that for now. Setting that aside, Hide has a very intriguing point of view of Kaneki. His insight on Kaneki's life is the closest we get to an outside perspective of Kaneki's behaviour from an intimate view. Obviously we see other ghouls, CCG members, etc. studying the way Kaneki behaves but we never see it in the same way that we do with Hide. That boy has been taking notes on Kaneki since he first started acting odd. He caught onto Kaneki being a ghoul with ease (ofc this depends on the version as well. We are ignoring the live action version because it screws up the source material.) No matter how hard Kaneki tried, he could not get Hide to stop caring and stop observing. Hide went undercover in both the CCG and ghoul world to make sure Kaneki was okay. His life centred around Kaneki. That in itself is a confession of love and not in the platonic way.
Uta: Setting aside the way he looks at Renji for a moment, his entire being breaks the norms which is what queerness and queer history has always been. Uta quite literally makes masks so ghouls can create a whole other identity surrounding their otherness. His entire presence screams queer-coded.
Tsukiyama: I don't think I need to explain this one much tbh but his obsession with Kaneki cannot be overlooked. It is obviously super creepy in a lot of way and he crosses a TON of boundaries. However, that level of obsession is definitely not in a "you're my guy pal, let's go lift weights at the gym" (idk what cishet men do I'm sorry). His fascination with both the male and female ghouls feels very queer to me even though it is to an extreme that needs to be observed and dissected with caution.
Nico: He is the embodiment of a gay stereotype. Obviously not all rep is good rep but he definitely fits the mold and he is definitely queer, no doubt about it.
Mutsuki: Without a doubt, he is trans. Many people argue "oh he only transitioned so he could become a Quinx Squad member and change his identity better blah blah blah." HOWEVER. I raise you: once Urie found out his assigned gender at birth, why did he feel so deeply uncomfortable? Obviously, he was worried that Urie would tell everyone and their mom but even after Urie kept that a secret, he was still nervous. It's almost like he didn't want to be treated differently because of his assigned gender at birth and transition... There is a lot about Mutsuki that could have been handled better but I also think that him keeping his preferred name, pronouns, etc. is so important. Not once did Urie question it, he just wanted Mutsuki to keep doing his job well. Mutsuki is a very complex character and you can dissect his storyline from a million povs but I think first and foremost that he is trans and that there isn't really a question as to whether or not he wants to be referred to as a man or not
Overall, all these characters are only a small part of an even LARGER queer analogy! Tokyo Ghoul is about a man learning to grapple with being both ghoul AND human. Taking this into account, a ton of queer people have to be worried about being 'found out' or 'outed' because we live in a world where it is dangerous for queer people to exist still (much like it is dangerous for ghouls to exist). Kaneki is coming to terms with the fact that he might not be fully human (or the societal norm). Learning to deal with that, especially when you feel like you're the first EVER because you have no prior experience or relationships with other members of the LGBTQ+ community is terrifying! That feeling of 'otherness' or 'monstrosity' is unfortunately something a lot of queer folks have to go through. The CCG has a very religious/governmental parallel to it and could even be used as a metaphor for the hate that queer people receive from institutions that benefit from our suffering. However, Akira AND Amon both empathize with Takizawa eventually and are subject to abuse and rejection because they love and care about someone in the 'other' community. Haise's transition and morphing with Kaneki is a beautiful metaphor for how many queer people will try to be 'normal' or conform to society for protection but you always kind of know your identity is there. As mentioned earlier, Uta makes masks for other ghouls so they can create a separate identity to protect themselves when trying to exist. That feeling of two separate identities, two separate worlds that you think cannot combine is SO common in the queer community. Kaneki feeling like he isn't enough of ghoul OR human to fit into the world at all is often how queer people are treated too. Being told you're not enough of something and being rejected by communities who allegedly were there to protect you. To conclude, I'd like to say thank you for reading all this (if you did) and also feel free to add on, debate, or include things I'm missing! Also I wrote this very very sleep deprived so I'm sorry about my grammar. Okay goodnight oomfies
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Character for the meme: Rufus.
For the Opinion Meme || Still accepting!
Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual with a strong leaning toward gay. I usually see Rufus as shading pretty heavy on the aromantic spectrum as well, but mostly because he sees literally everything in terms of:
President Shinra's people
Rufus' people
Liabilities/unknowns
And he will go to war for people who fall in that second group, which would be an absolute requirement for anyone in a romantic relationship with him. Now, if they're very good, they might manage to carve out a group of people of their own, which would mean Rufus would see them as being an equal on the playing field instead of a token in need protection or a liability that can be used against him.
Gender Headcanon: I am super boring and HC most of the FF7 characters as cis, but I will say, I can absolutely see the case for Rufus as a trans man. Now, I don't write him that way, so for me, I'd have to say cis male.
A ship I have with said character: Ohhhhh boy. Oh boy. ... I realize it says a ship, but here.
Witness my marina.
Rufus/Reeve - Rufus sees Reeve as, and this is going to sound more pretentious and poetic than I mean it to, but he sees Reeve as the literal builder of dreams and fantasies. Reeve has taken the absolute impossible-- a floating city-- and manifested it. And not just manifested it, but manages her day-to-day running and the reactors that are the lifeblood of the company, and Reeve is the one person that Rufus can't get an outright declaration of loyalty from because they both know that their first loyalty will always be to Midgar.
Rufus/Tseng - So my general take on their relationship is that Tseng meets Rufus when Rufus is about 12 and Tseng is 17, and Tseng realizes that for all his running from his destiny in Wutai, he's effectively come to Midgar to bend a knee to who will be the new world emperor instead. And barring any story-specific ships (like Tseng/Sephiroth) happening, my "standard" HC is that Rufus probably decides they're sleeping together once he's 16/17, and Tseng can't exactly tell him no, which is the beginning of Tseng's transition from 'mentor' to 'right hand.' Now, that completely disregards BC canon.
Rufus/Reno - This is a surprisingly fun one, but really it's mostly because Reno and Rufus are the same age in my HCs and Reno is capable of showing Rufus the side of Midgar that no one will ever let him see. Reeve built Midgar and Rufus will rule her one day, but Reno absolutely pulses with Midgar's beating heart, and if Midgar was a person... well, Rufus is pretty sure she'd be an awful lot like Reno.
Rufus/Tifa - Ahh, the dethroned king and the barmaid. No, but seriously, if I have a post-canon ship, it's Rufus/Tifa and Rufus/Tseng/Tifa. Which is unsurprising to literally everyone. I can ship Tifa with nearly anyone. In this particular case, I think she's really good for Rufus, although to be fair, they probably need to work out the whole, "You tried to have me executed," thing.
Rufus/Tseng/Tifa - This is my usual "endgame" ship for Rufus and Tseng both. Post OG, post AC, post Dirge... when everything has fallen as it will and they're left picking up the pieces, I see Tseng and Rufus relying a lot on Tifa, and Tifa being surprised at just how much she enjoys seeing them when they stop in. And eventually, something develops there. Also though, I'm firmly of the opinion that Tifa just ends up in bed with all of the Shinra crew that's left. Reno/Rude? Yep. Elena? Absolutely. Tseng/Rufus? Well now. She's not sure how it happened, but she's fairly sure the five of them set out to seduce her and have thoroughly emotionally tangled her up with them.
A BROTP I have with said character: I think Rufus and Elena get on like a house on fire and Tseng has no idea what to do with it. Elena does things like lets her temper get the better of her and Tseng is all, "I'm going to have to talk Rufus about this," and when he does, Rufus just sighs and looks at her and is like, "Please don't do that again."
And Tseng side-eyes both of them. Because somehow, Rufus using that soft steady voice actually does seem to chasten her?!
In terms of during the height of Shinra's power (i.e., the era I usually write in), I can also absolutely see a literal broship happening between Rufus and Lazard if the two of them can manage to get some time alone together to put aside their masks.
A NOTP I have with said character: Hm... A NOTP for Rufus... I don't know that I have one, but to be fair, I don't have very many of these for anyone.
A random headcanon: @ladykf-writes has a wonderful OC named Drew Morrison, and just... He has slotted in so nicely to my Rufus characterization. I've always had the HC that before Tseng arrived (sometime between when Rufus was 8 and 12, depending on story needs), Rufus' training and general security was handled by SOLDIER. Which meant he more or less had a personal SOLDIER guard. I pretty much exclusively use Drew for this role now, mostly because he gives Rufus a little of the affection/acknowledgement that he's so clearly starved for.
General Opinion over said character: I love Rufus Shinra. Is he an absolute ass? Probably. Do I love him anyway? Hell, I love him because he is.
BONUS! A song I associate with the character:
You play girls like a man, but your eyes are like a child
Your face is cool and calm, but your hair is wrecked and wild
You hide behind your metaphors and pray that no one sees
The fare behind your poker face: your dark and twisted needs
The girls all think you love them, but they make you feel sick
You smile and whisper in their ear but drop them just as quick
The bottles 'round the back all contain the hearts of lovers
Lipstick stains on the pillow and lies under the covers
Let me in, wear me out [x4]
Your fragile heart and your paper skin
Such a beautiful boy filled with so much sin
Your reflection is your very worst enemy
Behind the glass is an angel, but the devil's beneath
-- Maniac, by Phoebe Green
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some of my head canons/ opinions
1. Zim has a good grasp on earth fashion-
It makes sense to me that for his first few years on earth he would completely disregard any style conventions and rules. His disguises look wack. But fashion on the surface can be broken down into rules that I think he would find easy to follow ie. Matching body types to necklines, sleeve lengths, finding complimentary colors for skin tones, eye colors, ect. I can definitely see Zim and Gaz clothes shopping together. Dib is hopeless
2. Dib is trans-
This seems to be fairly common in a lot of fics I’ve found. I can’t remember where I first saw it but when I think of him I unconsciously think of him as trans. I’m going to do a gender/ sexuality headcannon post later for all the characters I’ll be using on the regular where I’ll go a little more in depth.
3. The Membrane siblings don’t have a mother-
Going to put it in the previously mentioned gender/sexuality headcannon post but Professor Membrane is Aro/Ace. He definitely made those babies in a test tube with half his own DNA and half randomized DNA that he made himself in a lab and screened for any potential diseases and genetic conditions to make sure Dib and Gaz were as healthy as possible. The only reason Dib needs glasses is because the Professor does and that was just the luck of the draw wether he inherited it or not. Both kids were told when they were quite young
4. Zim gets tall-
I love the idea of Dib growing to be like 6”2’ and Zim staying short and only reaching his knees. I love to see fanart where the height difference is just ridiculous. But I also love the idea of Zim being tall. It’s a direct result from being on earth and it’s strange and difficult for him. It has its upsides and it’s downsides but it’s something unique, even more unique than a defective pak
5. Zim is defective-
Not really a headcannon. He cannot function in the way an irken soldier is meant to function and is therefore defective. This usually seems to be a given in most fics I’ve read but enough have said it outright as if the reader wouldn’t know that I’ve decided to include it in this list. I’ll add that being defective is the only reason he can feel affection for Dib. The pak acts like a second brain and the way I see it the pak is half the irken and the body/ organic brain makes up the other half. Neither are complete without the other, they are one fused being. But the pak controls emotional regulation. Zim has always felt his emotions a little stronger than normal for an irken because he is defective.
Feel free to ask any questions/ clarifications. I’ll do my best to answer them and I will probably be back with more of these
59 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello!! If you don't mind, may I send in a matchup for Into The Spiderverse, Brooklyn 99, and maaaybe Percy Jackson too? I noticed you said you know a little less about Percy Jackson so feel free to disregard that one if you'd like <3
Some things about me..! My name is Reis (Spelled Ra'ees by my family), I'm a trans man and I go by he/him pronouns- they/them are also okay, however! I'm Persian and Malaysian and currently trying to embrace more of my Persian heritage 🫶 I'm pansexual! I, personally don't view love based on gender, I just love whoever I love ^^
As for my personality; I'm generally very quiet and never speak unless spoken to. Not to say that I'm shy, though! Once we start talking I become a little more outgoing. Never loud or obnoxious because it freaks me out (and I don't have the energy for that 😭 I'm ALWAYS concerningly tired, like I will literally fall asleep in the middle of a nuclear war if given the chance.)
Unfortunately, though, I do have a bit of a temper. I usually appear calm until someone ticks me off and I go fucking ballistic. If people give me some space I'm pretty good at calming myself down and dealing with my anger healthily, though <3 I'd also like to say I'm good at calming other people down! As long as they don't get physically aggressive, I'm able to stay calm and put other's at ease ! (As long as I'm in an okay mood, that is)
As for my hobbies, I LOVE horror stuff. Often times you'll find me reading some psychological horror book, playing horror games, or watching videos/reading articles on horror video game or book analyses. Speaking of- not much of a hobby- but I have a strange habit of psychoanalyzing people when I first meet them. One of my biggest hyperfixations is psychology!
Extra information!! Despite me always being strangely tired and fatigued, I have these random manic episodes that make me super energetic, I'm basically vibrating with energy. Whenever I talk during one of these manic episodes it's almost impossible to interrupt me because I'm talking so damn fast.
I HOPE THIS WASN'T TOO MUCH INFORMATION?? I have a habit of oversharing pls forgive me 😭🙏
Hi lovely, thank you so much for the request! i did indeed leave out percy jackson, i made a short post about it here. i tried my best with the other two and i hope you like it <3
Spiderverse:
I match you up with Miles Morales
I feel like once you warm up to him a little more, your dynamic will be wonderfull and compliment eachother quite nicely.
Miles knows all about having two different heritages, and i think he would love exploring your culture with you!
i could see you guys having dates/hangouts were you're watching or reading horror stuff and Miles is sketching, maybe he'll even makes some drawings based on the characters in the horror games you like.
I also think Miles would definetly not mind the random energetic manic episodes. sure, the boy will be completely lost on what to do, but i think he would still listen to you with all his attention and make sure to remember the things he deems important to remember.
Brooklyn 99:
I match you up with Rosa Diaz
If anyone knows how to deal with a temper, its Rosa. I feel like when there is something that is really messing with you and making you angry, she knows all the right ways to fuel that anger towards something else.
Your love for horror stuff would also pair pretty well with Rosa. Eventhough we know she's a bit of a hidden softy inside, the girl is still full of spice and i think she would love horror books.
I think Rosa would also like listening to you psychoanalyze people (especially if its Gina your psychoanalyzing). I think she would enjoy learning about some hidden things you notice in people, and she would most definetly ask for your help in the halloween heist.
#writers on tumblr#amateur writer#matchup request#brooklyn nine nine#into the spider verse#miles morales#rosa diaz
0 notes
Text
today i read requiem of the rose king!
in a few words, body horror. terrific. ABSOLUTE angsty drama. an intersex protagonist who has his body demonized by others around him. i love love how many times this story made me contort in agony in my bed. i binge read it in one all-nighter, i could NOT sleep. i had to finish it in one go and stayed reading until lunch, 12 PM. that's how on edge all the crazy, thrilling events of this manga, richard's story, made me. i knew it'd be a painful ride, but don't regret reading this manga, not one bit!
that being said i'll try to resume the some feelings i have about it.
i started reading requiem of the rose king (or baraou no souretsu) when i found out about the intersex main character, something i never had seen in my life, and was craving something... angsty. trans angst. which richard happens to be an expert. born with both male and female body characteristics, richard is despised by his mother since birth and is considered a "demon" child.
although he's very loved by his father, the lack of his mother's love and her abuse are things that greatly affect richard, of course, and make richard hate himself and the "cursed" body he was born in. it's very heartbreaking to see how many traumatic experiences richard has to go through because of it. he's a very likable character (imo), which makes everything more upsetting, because we want to see richard being happy, free. accepted.
it almost seems an impossible task. even among the many people who fall in love with richard throughtout the story, there seems to be some... disregard about how richard feels about his identity. listen: he is a man. not even once richard doubts his gender: he. is. a man. ugh i was filled with disgust whenever a character mentioned richard "woman's side", how they didn't understand he wasn't a woman and that what they wanted to be true did not matter, richard will continue to be a man, regardless. no, he's not "both" a man and a woman. he doesn't have a man side and a woman side, as if splited. go to hell. if richard wanted to embrace both genders, it wouldn't be a big deal, but he is CLEARLY uncomfortable being perceveid as anything but a man. i'm telling: i was so fucking pissed off. and hated some characters because of it.
now the plot of the story did live up to the "inspired by a shakespeare's play" thing. it was full of twists, schemes, unexpected encounters and dramatic, very dramatic elements. there was also a lot of weird, freaky, questionable stuff happening all the time, but i just gone with the flow and didn’t waste my time mulling over them. oh, and the ghost of joan of arc is there too, occasionally haunting richard! lovely. it's such a dreary atmosphere that as readers we instinctively know: it's a story bound to end in tragedy... right? initially, yes. but there's a certain seed of doubt in the story that makes us hope... if we think about it, it's not impossible, right? richard's happy ending route. or as happy as his ending could be.
yeah... quoting baraou: "hope drives people mad."
me. i am people.
in many ways joan's ghost was a metaphor for richard's inner thoughts, so she was mostly quite mean and vocalized his gender dysphoria. richard is literally haunted by his thoughts.
that's the end of my spoiler free recommendation review(?) so stop reading here if you don't want spoilers!
alright.
here some things that have been tormenting my mind. i want to clarify that: more than just about the romance aspect, i believe my sorrow is about how richard is perceived by others and himself. these two things are connected.
let's talk about this route: the way shown by a white boar; the way, a person. his name is henry. someone i'd argue, in my humble opinion, is richard's uhhh the one.
i will now be completely and unapologetically biased.
richard and henry's relationship is one that feels like a fairytaile. their "accidental rendezvous" at the forest, the solace and peace they found in each other, burdened by similar fears, childhood trauma and loneliness. everything gets better, bearable, when they're together. many times i found myself crying whenever henry said exactly what richard needed to hear. when others scorn him and curse him, call him a unwanted demon, henry explicitily shows how much he likes richard's companionship, he hugs him, comforts him. when both didn't have anywhere they can return to, henry said richard was his home... that richard was his angel.
:(
henry said those words without any ulterior motive, it was genuine. and just... that was it. that was exactly what i wanted richard to hear, that he was no demon, no abomination. "there's nothing wrong with you" i wanted someone to say that to him, and only, only henry was able to. i cried when reading those sweet scenes and i cried again after finishing the manga and looking back at them.
...there was a fucking reason the damn magical white boar kept guiding them to each other. they just... were each other's chance to be happy. a once in a lifetime chance. one that was missed by many misunderstandings, miscommunication and timing. oh, right person wrong time, wrong family, what a delight to read! it makes me feel better to put them in the star-crossed lovers category though. that's what they are to me, and deep in my heart i believe that if not for henry's delicate state of mind, he would've accepted richard. he actually did, until richard's mother brainwashing surfaced. it's also a fact that richard would've run away with henry, despite knowing his true identity, that was how much he loved him... i cried sooo much, it’s not even funny, when richard revealed the secret of his body and asked henry to love him despite… and from start to finish, henry is the only person richard willingly shared his biggest insecurity. when his life seemed dark and bleak, his light was henry. i'm saying: star-crossed lovers.
IT'S JUST SO SAD AAAFSGGSGAAAAAA!!!!! I'M INSANE!!!!! I'M TEARING MY HAIR OUT IM SRS BRING THEM BACK TO ME
their relationship was so tender that it overshadowed the next relationship (again, imo)... so. i had such high hopes for buckingham, i liked his first appearance and in the back of my mind i noted: he wouldn't be bad route, he's the one who sees richard's king potential.
well... it just keeps going downhill. what a stupid ass motherfucker.
obs.: i will just be absolutely ROASTING buckingham in the next paragraphs. it's more of a rant than anything. i need to let my anger and hatred out.
buckingham is the total opposite of henry, but that isn’t necessarily bad (in theory). he is ambicious, determined and he's not ashamed of being "evil". not a bad set of traits, huh? so why. how. HOW did it go so wrong?! i'm actually a fan of characters who embrace their ugly side, the wicked desires and yada yada... but no. not in this story, the story of someone who was conditioned by society to think he was diabolic, just for being born with a different body. and specially because buckshit character acted so stupid. he was so manipulative, encouraged richard to do all sort of deeds to become king and sworn to be his loyal man... and then, in the end, he just fucking realizes what he really wanted all this time was richard and that if he wants to keep him by his side he has to make richard give up the crown?? THE ONE THEY FOUGHT SO HARD TO OBTAIN LIKE. he puts richard on a dress and shackles him, imprisions him in his house like a fucking shitty third rate bl male lead and suggests richard to live his life as woman just so he can give birth?????? GO FUCK YOURSELF HONESTLY DIEEEE. CAN YOU BE ANY MORE SELFISH??? everything was wrong with him FROM THE START. but i tried to ignore the fwb to lovers pipeline that i absolutely HATE and just focus on the fact richard was happy for finding someone that could be with him. i tried to ignore that miserable line about "has the woman part ever been loved?" TO RICHARD WHEN THEY WERE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX!!!!! BUT IT'S JUST SO DISGUTINGGGG HOW HE KEPT IMPOSING ALLUDING TO A SUPPOSED "WOMAN" IDENTITY RICHARD HAD BECAUSE OF HIS PRIVATE PARTS I WAS SEETHINGGGGG.
idgaf about the problematic stuff, as we can see i did read baraou no souretsu after all, the real problem to me was that it was just plainly distasteful. the kingsmaker was too dislikable and their relationship just felt so shallow. he was the worst choice richard could have made, it wasn't good for him, from an objective analysis this time.
literally any other romantic interest would have been better. catesby and anne were right there. (that kid henry's son can fuck off, for misgendering.)
it's just so crazy to me the contrast between richard's first love SWEET HENRY, who would've been richard peaceful good ending, and richard's "other half" (MY ASS he is), who was ultimately the route that would slowly lead richard towards his downfall... even when richard got what he thought he wanted, he wasn't happy... because he did not love himself. because he just learned to accept himself as a demon, as an abnormality, unloved, unnatural, despised by god, by the people. and that's just...... no. he is not an evil demon just because he's intersex. and i HATE buckingham teached him how to embrace this side, his "demon" side. when he was NEVER one to begin with. i hate that the premise always was "embrace the ugliness" when... what's so ugly about his body? that's not what i wanted, i didn't want richard to think he was born broken, i wanted him to realize he is beautiful the way he is... the way henry told him he was. that he could be light and home to someone.
no matter what path richard chose, i'd accept it as long as he loved himself, i really wished he had learned how to earlier. i wished that richard had spent more time with the people he loved, because they were all gone too fast, regardless if i liked them or not.
but of course what i want does not matter! :D instead, he was tormented until the end and lost everything he held dear.
well, that being said, the story has a tragedy tag for a reason. just because it didn't go the way i wished it doesn’t mean it wasn't good. i went CRAZY reading it, but in a good way. i liked it a lot and the whole 30-40 chapters alone make it worth the read and, after that, i know how to enjoy a good villainish protagonist. would i have liked it better if buckingham didn't exist at all? yes. but the manga is good and i was just too invested in richard to just not read everything until the end. (what already makes me last more than mr stupid ass name, ha.) i'm loyal to my king!
#my thoughts on#requiem of the rose king#i’m sad and venting about fictional characters again helpp#i hate buckingham bruh#baraou no souretsu#shoujo#trans#lgbtqia characters#lgbt themes#manga
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
I think it's somewhat amazing that David did happily play Lump. I watched this yesterday and went through a process of unbelieving delight. Ever since Doctor Who he is in the position to turn down every role offered to him, he can choose from a large number of projects, he has that standing now and has had it for years. And then he gets this absolutely ridiculous script, reads these lines, and thinks 'the voice of the naughty and shameless heart of a lesbian who doesn't want to die a virgin and tries to get it on with her nurse? Sign me up'. This isn't something he got a lot of money for, this isn't something that's going to get a lot of attention, this isn't, without meaning to disregard the creative process, a piece of big artistic value, it's really only fun. Do you know what I mean? I don't know how to phrase it better and in a way that doesn't sound too derogative, because that's in no way how I want to come across, I just think I'm not the only person who wouldn't have watched this by reading the premise alone, if it weren't for David's name in it? I also think I only enjoyed it *because* of David's voice acting, which really had me giggling a lot and made the whole thing so funny and charming in the first place. The fact that this role wasn't something he turned his nose up at/that this script wasn't something he thought of as too ridiculous... that's just so amazing to me, in the best way? Although I don't know why I'd even be surprised, seeing that David has never been scared of doing comedy and that he's always been willing and able to put on silly costumes and say the most absurd lines, all the while still managing to absolutely sell it. It's just never awkward with him. Somehow it's always art and high level acting, even if we're talking about an indecent, lewd, glaswegian vital organ. Incredible.
Hello, Anon. First of all, “Lewd Glaswegian Vital Organ” is totally going to be the name of my new punk band. Point blank, period. So thank you for that glorious turn of phrase.
I completely get what you are saying about David taking the role of Lump, and if I may offer my interpretation: It’s the fact that he doesn’t think the role is beneath him. Like you said, he was in Doctor Who and has had his pick of parts ever since then. He’s done Shakespeare, for crying out loud, and I’m sure we could list at least a few Shakespearean actors who would consider “lowbrow” humor to be beneath them.
But it is a testament to the kind of actor David is and the kind of person he is that he has never thought of himself as being “too good” for a comedic role. It makes me think of the joke in the movie Galaxy Quest, with Alan Rickman’s character Sir Alexander Dane:
“I played Richard III. There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it! Now look at me. Look at me!”
Another example is the Tony Awards several years ago, when it was hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, and the epic opening number he did where several celebrities in the audience were part of the act. He bounced over to Al Pacino at one point and joked, “Al Pacino. You’re way too famous to participate in this bit!” And that is the exact antithesis of David, who has never acted like he is “too famous” for anything.
The other thing, too, is what you said about David not being scared to do comedy. He doesn’t write it off as a “silly” thing or give it less weight and/or attention than his dramatic roles...he actually takes it seriously. A wonderful example of this is his role as Davina. While that was before he was famous, the role existed in the context of a comedy show, yet David played it seriously. He didn’t play her as a caricature or a mockery of trans women, but as a fully realized character. David made Davina funny because of how she was able to fuck with the other characters and be better/smarter/wittier than them, not because of her being trans.
He also did the same thing with Crowley. David never made Crowley’s genderfluidity the butt of the joke, and made Nanny Ashtoreth a real character. The humor in Nanny wasn’t from David being dressed in drag, but from singing a lullaby about pain and death. He is a talented actor because he is dedicated to every role he plays, to understanding those characters and turning situations into humor, rather than people.
So yes, I agree with everything you’ve said here, Anon. We are so fortunate that David is as wonderful as he is, and we are lucky to have him...
#anonymous#reply post#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#heart to heart#doctor who#good omens#crowley#rab c. nesbitt#davina#this is why i love this man#a talented actor and a wonderful human being#even if he does make Shakespeare incredibly slutty#bless#Acting™#discourse
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
Danganronpa is a very interesting thing honestly. A lot of it is bad, but most of the biggest things are people trying to apply western concepts to it as well as disregarding when it was made (especially thh).
Take like Fujisaki for instance. His entire character has been worn down to a gender argument by the fandom because a lot of the (mostly English speaking and western) audience correlate crossdressing with being trans when that wasn’t the point at all. Obviously things like how they treated Fukawa/Syo, Hifumi, Tenko, etc. was very wrong and I get why people are mad about them, but it is definitely a weird issue where there have been a lot of misinterpreted criticism along with the actual controversial stuff so it’s just a giant clusterfuck at this point.
It is a very interesting thing though with how certain controversies pop up in fandoms due to westernized misinterpretation. Idk if you’ve ever seen/read Ouran High School Host Club, but even though there’s a good amount of issues, a big one is that the main characters dad is a drag queen of sorts where they use the t-slur in reference to his workplace. Everyone is fairly uncomfortable with it, but the original meaning was meant to be interpreted as a worker who crossdresses or something of the like.
Idk it is just very interesting ig
I've seen the take that he is trans (which I don't agree with), but I assumed the more credible argument about transphobia has to do with the connotations toward it that go unaddressed ? The notion that only weak men act as women to "hide" ? I know that's wholly missing the point of his character, but when the argument was brought up to me I can't say it didn't sound a bit like the flipside of that JK Rowling book about evil men who dress as women.
That being said, I think every "problematic" fandom is like that. In our very own; there are creators who've done things that definitely justify disliking them - I won't deny that - but those aren't the posts that make the rounds, it's complete fabrications (or misrepresentations at best) that become core to what makes us and the people we support "bad" (or any variation of such).
Westernization is... interesting. As an east Asian I don't know if I'll ever fully understand it, but even simple things like translation gaps in anime are fascinating. I remember being so baffled as to why Pokemon was calling onigiri "jelly donuts," but it makes sense from an American (or otherwise western) perspective.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Harry Potter Confession/Rant
Ya’ll are free to ignore it if you want. I’m putting it under a Read More so it won’t clog up the dashes of anyone who doesn’t care about it. If you DO click the Read More, be warned, this got really frigging long.
Firstly, I want to say I love Harry Potter. Like, I really love it and it means a lot to me.
It was an introduction to fantasy for a lot of people. It’s created amazing communities, connected people around the world, and spread a ton of wonderful, uplifting messages.
The kind of power that comes from Love, that something as simple as caring can make huge difference for another person.
Harry Potter has gotten a lot of people to think critically about the world around them, and reminded them that things aren’t always as wonderful as they first appear.
It touches on things like racism and classism in a way that people can understand. It tackles things like morality and how it is different for every person who sees it. That doing what’s right wasn’t easy, and sometimes even the best intentions could make things worse instead of better.
The stories are amazing and suck people in. The foreshadowing is done well in each book and lends itself to the stories in subtle and fantastic ways.
No one had written a series like hers and took off as well as what she’d created. There had been other Magic School-type stories before, but she’d found the right channel to send it out. And now it’s something everyone can name and talk about.
For me, the great thing about Harry Potter was the doors it opened.
How modern fantasy for kids could be written. How a magical community could work in modern world (along with all the good and bad things that were in it). How something as amazing as magic could stay hidden for as long as it had (and the effects it had on everyone involved).
It’s community and the people mean so much to me, and it’s become a strong center to my own views and life.
But that doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to it’s flaws.
Looking at the way the world works, and the relationships of the people in it, gives a very clear view of Rowling’s flawed world view.
And people have written entire essays on all the flaws of her writing, so I don’t think I really need to go into tremendous detail about them all. But I think I can sum the basic idea of it pretty well.
Yes, she can write a great story. But that doesn’t mean she wrote a great world. (As all of her post-story retconning shows.)
Looking back, I openly admit many instances in the books had red flags that showed how bad things actually were.
From character relationships to the corrupted government, the racism and classism, the sexism and abusive undertones. Even just the shitty tracking of things between stories and blatant ignorance of how schools and societies should function!
There are so many flaws and screw ups I can hardly keep track of them all.
So many of the character relationships read as abusive or horribly fractured, that would leave more broken hearts and hurting feelings than should be let stand.
Ron/Hermione is one “couple” I can think of. They’re constantly fighting and at each other’s throats, and had only ever tried to get along due to being friends with Harry.
They’d be that couple who would always be fighting and breaking up with each other and separating, then forcing themselves back together because “This is how love it supposed to be, right? We always fight because we love each other. It’s why everyone said we were like an Old Married Couple. Right?”
(No, that’s not how it works. I know some people still ship them, but I feel like they’re better off friends than lovers. It’s less hurt for them both.)
Or Mrs Weasley, who ruled her house with an Iron Fist and would force her family to follow whatever plan she had set up for them.
From destroying the twins projects and trying to force them into a Ministry job, or her obsessive coddling of Ron and Ginny, or even forcing her husband to not talk about his hobbies/passions and making him need to work in the shed just to enjoy things he liked.
She drove of BOTH of her oldest sons away from home with her overbearing nature, yet so few people seem to see the problems with that.
Remus and Tonks getting together out of grief and just about falling apart when she got pregnant. I honestly don’t know if they were in love or were just together to deal with their grief. (Which would definitely cause problems later down the line if they’d lived.)
(And let’s not get into Harry and Ginny. I think that’s one pairing that everyone else has already beaten into the ground.)
The fact that all of these are the GOOD GUYS, the people that usually show some form of ideal the writer has, says a lot about how Rowling thinks love should be.
The Ministry is so blatantly corrupted and poorly planned, it’s a wonder the Wizarding World hadn’t just flat-out collapsed on itself yet.
Rowling goes out of her way to argue against everything she’s set up that would have made it possible to save the Wizarding World from it’s own corruption. From ways to get around the Truth Serum to blocking people from entering minds to find the truth.
She’s making thousands of excuses for why she didn’t use her own tools to make things easier for her character, but the actual reason is simple. So simple that if she just said it, she could have avoided all the problems people had with it.
She wanted a corrupt government for the story she was writing.
That’s it. That’s why there were no trials with Veritaserum. Why prisoners weren’t interrogated by people who could preform Legilimancy. Why no one had to swear magical oaths to prove they were telling the truth or weren’t on the Dark side.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but if she had just said that instead of making excuses, I would have been fine with that. Sometimes, as writers, we have to admit that the reason we didn’t do things that would have made it better for our heroes is because we needed things to go bad.
AND THAT’S OKAY. Not every story needs to have a million well thought out arguments for why the bad guys were able to get as far as they did. Sometimes we just need to say “they were really corrupt/clever” and that’s fine.
Rowling was really bloody lazy, had no idea how to do things practically, and had a ton of sexist/racist/toxic views that she really should have just kept her mouth shut about.
A ton of the issues in Harry Potter go back to this.
Her researching skills were terrible even when the things she needed to look up would have been as simple as looking at the weekly paper. (The price/value of gold is literally something you can look in the weekly news paper to find.)
She never looked at how culture differences would have effected things when she talked about “international” magics and said things that were just plain stupid because of her lack of research.
(The Mahoutoko School of Magic. ”Mahoutokoro” literally translates into “Magic School”, meaning the school is called “The Magic School, School of Magic.” I don’t think I need to explain why that’s stupid.)
She had no idea how to arrange a schooling/class schedule and was completely oblivious to how understaffed her magical school was. None of the class schedules made sense, none of the arrangements made sense, and even the number of students in the school makes no sense.
(Without getting into how many schools of magic there are in the world when you consider the size of the human population.)
Then, of course, there are the racist/anti-lgbtq+ stereotyping done through the magical beings of HP. From Goblins to werewolves, there’s a lot of poor, negative, and outright offensive representation wrapped up in there. (Really, her Anti-Trans stuff is just the tip of the iceberg there.)
That said, I still really love Harry Potter.
I know it’s flawed. I know there’s a ton of bad shit wrapped up in it. I’m not saying people should excuse it.
It’s a flawed work by a flawed person, and people should remember that.
We shouldn’t try to erase or ignore those flaws by trying to explain them away or claim someone else wrote it. Because that allows for complacency.
It implies that we can excuse these things in other works if we like them enough and that they aren’t problematic. If we can ignore them in one place, we can ignore them in other places. That they aren’t as bad if we can pretend they aren’t there.
And that is a problem. People need to accept that, just because they don’t like something, they can’t just disregard it and act like it isn’t there.
It’s real. It’s there. And we need to acknowledge it.
But just because the series isn’t perfect doesn’t mean people can’t still enjoy it.
We shouldn’t magnify the bad things in it until that’s all that can be seen. Because that would erase all the good things people have come away with from this series.
People shouldn’t be shamed or put down for liking Harry Potter.
There are people who’ve discovered importing things about themselves because of Harry Potter. People who found strength to get past difficult and traumatizing events in their lives. People who have found their best friends and even love because of their connection to this series.
There are even people who have found the confidence to embark on their own writing and artistic journeys because of Harry Potter. That it inspired numerous wonderful and amazing things created by it’s fans.
And I think that’s just as important as all the flaws that Rowling’s stories have.
We can still love something while admitting that there are bad parts to it. Books and media don’t have to be perfect. They don’t have to be utterly flawless to be considered “enjoyable”.
We don’t need to act like everything has to be black and white, perfectly defined good and evil, to be good. We can still love things while accepting that there are problems with it.
I just wish more people could understand that.
TLDR: Just because Harry Potter is a flawed, imperfect series written by a flawed, imperfect (and kinda shitty) person doesn’t mean people can’t still like it. And I really wish more people would accept that.
#rosie rants#rosie rambles#harry potter#world of harry potter#wizarding world#jk rowling#I just really needed to go off#a lot of the hp confessions I've been reading have been getting to me#so I needed to let this out
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sleeping in Sunshine
So this is my Christmas gift to the ever fantastic @ace--writes and boy has it been an ordeal to write this. I started out thinking it would be 2000, maybe a bit more, words, and now here it is at... more than 10000, so... yeah, fair warning it’s long.
other things to note, this may be a fae au and set sometime in the past but i’m playing fast and lose with the rules of both of those... so...
and also, while I am not cis, i am not specifically a trans man so if anyone that is finds something insensitive or disrespectful please let me know and I will try and find a way to fix it! anygay~
Fandom: Thomas sanders
Relationships: Remile
Warnings: Emile’s parents are Not Great, an arranged marriage, cursing, trans male character, misgendering, anxious thoughts, please let me know if i missed something
Read it on AO3: here
Words: 12,061 it is longggg (for me)
The four times Remy asked for Emile’s name and the one time he gave it
1
Emily Picani was a smart girl. She knew how to read (after her parents had realised that she was basically blind and really did need glasses), and she knew a lot about people, and she knew not to go into the forest alone.
However, while Emily was generally a smart girl, she did not always make smart decisions.
She’d been told dozens of times by her parents, neighbours, and most especially her grandmother that she shouldn’t go into the forest. She knew they were afraid of it. She knew all of the stories- she’d read dozens of books telling sometimes delightful and sometimes gruesome tales, and she knew very well all the reasons why she shouldn’t.
That didn’t mean that she didn’t.
You see, the forest fascinated Emily, and so did the concept of The Others that lived there. Not that she would ever admit that anyone out loud.
Yes, her family’s little farm was all very interesting, but she didn’t much like the sorts of things her mother had her do or the sort that her father wouldn’t let her. So instead, she did exactly what she shouldn’t, and spent far too much time exploring the trees and hollows and hidden paths in the forest.
Oh, sure, she filled her pockets with iron filings and holly berries, to be safe, and copied the little rituals her grandmother practised for protection, but one is never truly safe with these kinds of creatures, only left alive for the moment.
But Emily had complete confidence in herself, in the way that only children could. She had explored the area of the forest nearest to her house inside and out over her childhood, and really, never found anything that mysterious, or dangerous, or in any way indicative of the strange creatures she’d been warned so much about, and secretly wanted to learn more of.
That was, until one day, when Emily suddenly wished she hadn’t been quite so bold.
She had been playing, enjoying a story of her own devising, where she was a great wizard with power over the elements. Her story called her to find sacred objects to return power to the land, (which in reality were different, particularly pretty looking rocks) and it also pulled her deeper into the forest than she had ever wandered before.
She was just mumbling to herself the dramatic, musical climax of her story, with various dums, dees and das, as she jumped around, when she noticed that something was wrong.
Suddenly, the area around her felt colder, despite the warmth of spring that had surrounded her just prior.
She froze in place, watching her breath puff out into the chilled air in front of her. She saw the briars, with thorns that looked as if they were coated in sharp, deadly metal, and the trees that seemed that much taller, now towering over her even more, and she heard the eerie silence that had overtaken the bird and bug song.
“This is fine,” she said, quietly but cheerfully to herself, forcing a smile onto her face, as she tried to decide what to do. Her hands found their way into her pockets, grasping at the iron filings
She heard a branch snap behind her, and she spun, a scream on her lips, not considering how much more sense it would make to remain quiet.
She expected to see a monster standing there- a beast with a large gaping maw, come to gobble her up, or one of the strange, ethereal moonlit beings of her fairy tales.
Instead, she saw a boy, about her age, although much stranger, grinning at her
“You know,” said the boy with a smile filled with too sharp teeth, “It’s kinda rude to lie in company that can’t.”
Emily felt her jaw drop and her body freeze up once more. This boy looked nothing like the tales she read. He had no skin woven of moonlight or eyes hewn of gems and blessed with stars. In fact, he looked rather like a normal person, but just slightly to the left enough to be unsettling. His limbs were just slightly too long, and his teeth just slightly too sharp, his ears were pointed, and twitching, and his curly red hair looked like it had strings of gold and amber woven through it. Had he not addressed her so, and had they met anywhere else, she may have thought him human.
“Staring is also considered rude in most places, but I’ll let you off with that one, considering I am particularly cute,” the boy spoke again.
Yes, his teeth definitely were far too sharp to be human.
“Um, Hello?” Emily said, finding the voice that had until then died in her throat, and trying her best approximation of a curtsey, the way she had seen her mother do it. (She only managed to trip over her feet and settled for a bow instead).
The boy’s smile, somehow, widened further, and he stuck out a hand for her to shake- his left hand, actually, which he didn’t seem to see a problem with. She shook it as quickly as she could, and then returned her own hands to her pockets, playing with the iron filings.
“May I have your name,” the boy asked, and he looked like he was trying to remember something he had to recite.
“You can call me Em,” she said after some deliberation.
He looked slightly disappointed, and Emily knew it was because she had seen around his trick, although, he brightened momentarily.
“Oh well,” he said with a grin and a shrug, “It was worth a shot. I didn’t really want to trick you anyway.”
Emily didn’t know how to respond to that, blinking owlishly at his sudden change of mood. This boy was very strange, she thought, and not at all easy to understand like most of the people she knew.
“What shall I call you?” she asked eventually, when she realised that he seemed to be waiting on her.
“Oh, huh, I hadn’t thought of that. You’re very clever,” he said looking truly taken aback. He paused a moment, sticking his tongue out through his teeth as he thought, “You can call me Sleep, I guess.”
“Sleep it is,” she murmured, wondering silently why he would choose something like that. She really shouldn’t wonder so much; she might start asking questions. And she figured, that by now that might not be a smart decision.
But then again, Emily Picani wasn’t known for smart decisions.
Although, it seemed she wasn’t the only one with questions.
“So, Em, what are you doing out here? The forest really isn’t safe for little girls, you know,” he said, fake-serious. He really should have been real-serious.
“What about little boys?” she shot back defiantly, delighted when this caused him to grin rather than glare.
“Well, little boys shouldn’t be out all alone either. Good thing we found each other, huh?” he said waltzing forward and grabbing onto her arm. He was surprisingly strong for someone who looked so gangly.
He was so strange.
“You’re not human, are you?” she found the question past her lips before she had even thought it over.
He laughed at her, bright and clear, “Oh you are clever. I like you. No, I’m not human, but why does that matter? I have a bright and charming personality regardless, which is what should matter.”
She was surprised that he would admit it so honestly, but then again, she had a feeling that perhaps Sleep wasn’t particularly normal by human standards, or his own people’s for that matter.
“I’m sure you light up some people’s world,” she said, the pun coming to her naturally, but surprising her with the ease that she spoke to him. The way that he laughed and smiled back only encouraged her.
“Oh, I do, I do like you little Em,” he crowed, “I think I should keep you around… It would be nice to have someone to play with.”
She frowned a little at that. She didn’t have any intention of becoming a plaything for the good neighbours. She had enough sense at least to try and avoid that at least.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind playing with you, Sleep, but you would have to let me go home, if you wanted me to come back and not simply pass out from exhaustion,” she said, trying to avoid any firm promises and also trying to sound smart, one thing she had learned from her grandmother, and one she was trying to convince herself of.
He looked for a moment like he was considering something very important.
“Well, I know that you come to the forest every day to play. If you agree to play with me whenever you come here, then I will let you go and do whatever it is you humans do for the rest of the time, no harm done.”
She looked him carefully up and down, trying to find any hint of malice in his face, or any twisted meaning to his words. Seeing none, she decided, as children very often do, to disregard most of her earlier concerns in favour of a new playmate.
“It’s a deal,” she said, grinning, forgetting one fundamental rule in that moment.
And she would not remember this mistake for some time, if at all, in favour of playing with Sleep.
Because, with him around, the woods, even the darker, sharper and more dangerous sections didn’t seem as scary. He had a way of putting the situation at ease. He lifted up the briars with a stick longer than he was tall, grinning and making a show of wounding himself, even as not one thorn scratched him.
He dragged Em the long way around a stream because he swore up and down there was ‘something in there out to get him’ that she ‘probably didn’t want to see if she didn’t want super super weird nightmares’.
Quickly, Em discovered he was quite the drama queen, and more than a bit of a scatterbrain, although that only made her laugh all the more when he fell out of a tree and complained that he ‘would never ever ever in all his life come back here,’ because he was ‘not going to put up with such dishonest and bullying behaviour’ from the tree.
At the same time that he was completely unlike any human she had ever met; he was also very much like every human child she knew. He was strange, but she couldn’t find it in herself to mind. Instead she was intrigued, filled with as many questions as she was ideas for games to play.
What felt like hours later, when the sun began to set, Sleep even helped Em to find her way home. It took a little convincing first, because he still wanted to play not even feeling a little tired, but at Emily’s insistence, he guided her through various paths from the darker, mysterious part of the forest, into the part where trees were just a little bit too big instead of dangerously so.
When they reached the edge, he stopped, not passing the line of trees.
“You’ll come back tomorrow?” he asked, eyes pleading.
She nodded, unable to stop herself from smiling.
“Then I’ll meet you here,” he said patting the tree he leaned against. “I’ll find you. I don’t want you to get lost in the woods and have one of my family find you instead. They care a lot more about those traditions and weird adult word games than I do, and I don’t want you to get hurt. So, it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to wander around on your own.”
Quietly, Emily thought that it hadn’t been a good idea for her to go out in the first place, or to meet Sleep again either, but she just nodded, and smiled, and ran towards her house ahead of her, in the setting sun, throwing a wave over her shoulder.
That night she was uncharacteristically quiet at the dinner table, not recounting the many adventures of her day and instead focusing on her meal far too intensely. Her parents barely noticed, too busy corralling her five other siblings. And she herself was too absorbed in thought to see the look her grandmother gave her over the tops of her glasses.
That night when all was quiet save for the shuffling of her sisters in the beds near hers, she thought she heard a whisper, from somewhere far away brushing against her ear.
“Sweet dreams,” it said, “Sleep well.”
2
Emily Picani was a smart girl. She learned how to knit and sew far faster than her sisters, she could easily tell a liar from someone telling the truth and she knew that fae were dangerous.
Emily was not, however, known for putting her wisdom into practice.
If you visited the fae once or twice and still remained completely aware and not charmed or, more likely, dead, then perhaps you could be excused. But Emily didn’t just visit once or twice.
She found herself in the forest almost every day for three years.
She would finish her chores and her mother’s lessons as quickly as she could, (which was much faster than you would think, because Emily was a smart girl) and then she would run off to the woods before her parents could find something else for her to do.
They barely noticed she was missing, really- or rather, they noticed she wasn’t around but were grateful for the reprieve from her loud and boisterous manner and incessant questions and weren’t particularly worried that she would get hurt.
So, she was free to disappear and play with a friend that no one, especially not her grandmother would approve of.
This day was no different from any other. She had finished mending the boy’s clothes and cleaning the house and setting out things for dinner, before she bolted from the house, ignoring any calls her grandmother threw after her.
She got to their tree, as usual, earlier than Sleep, and rummaged around inside the hollow that had become her hidey hole for anything important. And, most important and relevant in that moment was the pair of pants she kept there.
Her mother and sisters liked to insist that ‘she was a young lady that should dress like one’ and while she rather liked the pretty colours and stitching that complicated ladies skirts sometimes had, she did not like the fact they were… well… skirts, so she had stolen a pair of her brothers too small-pants, and had made much better use of them than he did, if she did say so herself.
She changed, and then slumped down by the tree, staring up at the pretty jade green leaves and daydreaming about nothing in particular, when she heard a thud and saw Sleep land, and stumble a little, in front of her, after jumping from one of the branches above.
Immediately she jumped to her feet, giving him a large hug.
“It took you long enough!” she exclaimed, grinning.
“Hello to you too, sunshine,” Sleep said with a laugh, “I’m sorry I was late, there were some… issues.”
His smile was too sharp and brittle to be real.
She looked at him, concerned, and frowned.
“With your family or The Others?” she asked, poking and prodding him, trying to check for injuries.
“It was fi-“ he cut off and frowned.
“Ok, maybe not but like, you totally shouldn’t worry about it,” He amended.
“Well, it’s clearly not fine if you can’t say it.”
“It is no longer a problem.”
She chewed her lip worriedly. It was always concerning to hear about drama with the good neighbours. Of course, she knew that it was perfectly normal with them, but she didn’t want Sleep to be hurt.
“Well, let it be known that I am concerned, especially because you can’t even say that it’s ok out loud, mister”
“You’re like, overreacting and stuff,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“Well, don’t go getting into trouble again, then.”
He smiled a little, “I don’t think either of us could stop me if we tried, Em.”
“You know- you know what that’s probably fair.”
“Yes, exactly. Now!” he said, suddenly clapping his hands together, “I have an idea.”
“And what would that be, Sleep?”
“Well, it’s like, our third anniversary of meeting each other, did you know that?” he said grinning, “And I heard that you humans get gifts for each other on anniversaries or whatever, so I thought hey, maybe we could do that.”
“Well first off, that’s for people that are romantically involved, which we aren’t so jot that down, and second off, even if we did get gifts, that’s today and I don’t have anything for you,” Em said, frowning.
“You could always give me your name,” Sleep said, mischievously.
“I- oh so that’s what this was about you cheeky little- urgh! No, I’m not giving you my name!”
“But Emmmmmmm,” he said with fake puppy dog eyes that immediately told Emily he was kidding and found the whole situation hilarious, “Aren’t we friends?”
Her grandmothers warning danced through her head, as they did every time Sleep pulled one of his silly tricks, but she found herself listening to every one of them less and less. Especially, ‘You cannot be friends with the fae’.
“Of course we’re friends, silly, but I’m not going to give you my name any more than you would give me yours.”
“What if I did give you mine,” Sleep said, grinning wildly.
“Then I would probably have to eat my rock collection… Well, maybe not quite so extreme, rose quartz would not be a fun thing to try and eat, if you’re me- because yes Sleep I am aware that you eat various dumb things that I defiantly couldn’t”
“Oh, all right then. But, like, for real though I did have an idea for something that we could do, because, like, three years is a long time for you humans, isn’t it?”
“Well, I guess, but how long something is really is relitv-“
“Fantastic, that’s perf,” he says, grabbing Emily hand and pulling her through the woods.
“What exactly are you thinking?” Emily gasped between panting breaths and laughter.
“That we should totally,” Sleep said, picking her up to jump over a new fallen tree in one of the many familiar paths of the forest, “Build a tree house.”
He set her down not a moment later, in front of a huge, solid old oak tree, that would take several people with arms stretched right out to wrap their arms all the way around it.
It was not unique in a forest as old and full of magic as this one, but it was still pretty damn cool to look at.
Emily stared at it, stunned for a moment, then turned to Sleep.
“Is this in a part of the forest where you can like, change things easily?” she asked, “Because I don’t think I could manage to take very much from my parents, and I’d feel bad if I did, so I can’t really help much that way.”
“Nah, you’re fine Sunshine,” Sleep said, already climbing up the tree, and onto one of the huge branches, and beckoning Emily to follow, “You’re on ideas duty, considering you have all those fancy stories in your head.”
Emily clamoured up into the tree after him, already thinking a mile a minute. They sat together in the tree for ages, making countless plans and moving about, figuring out which branches would be good for what things.
When Emily went home that night, she was still buzzing with excitement, as sleep promised that for the next day he would have (somehow) found everything they could possibly need to make their tree fort.
And, as she had become used to over the past three years, that voice whispered into her ear, “Sweet dreams, Sunshine, and good night.”
And indeed, he did have the materials (mostly magical ones) the next day, and over the next several years, the treehouse became a safe haven for both of them. It was one of the only places deeper in the forest that Emily could get to reliably, with some exceptions, because they’d trodden the path solidly into the forest’s memory.
They upgraded it and added to it as their interests changed. They added back entrances, rope sings, blankets and cushions stolen from both homes and usually worn half to death. Sleep added glowing lights and pressed magical carvings into the wood getting more interesting and complex and strong as he learned about his magic (he was, after all, a child just like Em, even if a different kind). And Emily painted stories from her books of tales, (all now stacked in their hideaway, out there instead of in her room) and her grand imagination all across the walls, and they both often found they were more at home there than with their families.
It was a space that was truly theirs.
Emily might not have given Sleep her name, but some would say she’d shared something even more precious.
3
Em Picani was smart- able to read, write, tell stories and charm people within moments of meeting them, but also intimidate them with that intelligence.
Because being smart wasn’t something girls were really supposed to be.
Em was a lot of things girls weren’t supposed to be. She was outspoken, loud, brave, and loved the outdoors. She was secretive, charming- but not in a sweet or demur way- a little cunning and bold. She hated dresses, but loved bright colours, and would rather wear pants than skirts, she wanted to be able to write and create and be smart without being written off.
Em was a lot of things girls weren’t supposed to be, and especially smart… Smart enough to realise that he wasn’t a girl. Emily Picani was intelligent and sharp and witty and… Not Emily Picani, he decided, but Emile.
He knew, that even if tomorrow the world was turned on its head, and everything that he was girls were allowed to be, he still wouldn’t be one. He was a boy, and he’d finally come to terms with it.
Emile was a lot of things that boys were supposed to be, except for recognised as one.
Because, yes, Emile was a smart boy, but he lived in a world where no one else thought that.
Well, he hoped that after today, there would at least be one somebody.
Yeah, sure Emile knew he shouldn’t be going into the forest, his grandmother had drilled that into him since before he could walk. And sure, he knew better than to tell the fae secrets, at least in theory, but it had been years since he had kept anything from Sleep. He was his best friend, after all and he was often (if not always) more comfortable around him than the extended Picani family.
Sleep knew him better than he knew himself a lot of the time- and whether that was because he was fae or simply because they were friends, he would never be able to tell. But he trusted him. He trusted him to understand him when no one else would.
They’d done so much for each other. Emile had all but given up lying because it made Sleep uncomfortable, and he’d long since stopped carrying iron filings in his pockets. The only fae repellent weapons he kept were stored safely in a place that would not damage Sleep, but Emile could access if there was a squabble with another fae. Which had never happened yet, with Sleeps dutiful protection.
And Sleep, well Sleep had welcomed Emile with every single one of his quirks, his intelligence and interests. He’d found or made trousers and shirts that more suited Emile’s clothing sense, and made the tree house a safe haven for both of them. Even though he surely could have killed Emile in an instant if he tried, now, or tricked him into some other bond, he’d never tried.
Sleep wasn’t a child anymore, and neither was Emile, and yet against all odds their friendship persisted, even as Sleep’s power and Other nature grew, and Emile’s responsibilities pulled him away from the forest more and more often.
So yeah, Emile had little doubt that Sleep would accept him for what he had learned of himself, but that did not mean he wasn’t still hesitant to tell him.
The day he decided to commit to it, was a day just like any other for them- they met much later in the afternoon now, because Emile had to do the work of a proper ‘lady’ in the house, not just a child, which meant it was often not until into the afternoon that he could sneak away.
And it was indeed late afternoon that found him waiting as usual under their tree- not the house, but the one at the edge of the forest, where he’d wait sometimes if he didn’t trust the path.
“Hey babes, what’s up?” is the first thing he’s greeted to by Sleep, who appears as usual from nowhere. It was much harder to spot him in the late afternoons of autumn, with so much of him blending in. (Some of it was natural- his hair changing like the colours of the autumn leaves, shining and mesmerising, and some of it was the magic he pulled around himself to disappear and torment Emile).
Emile managed a slight grin, pushing himself from the tree and wiping his damp palms on the skirt he had no choice but to wear when coming from home.
He opened his mouth, ready to greet him, ready to tell him, ready even to say that he had something to tell him, but he found all the words died in his throat.
“I dunno. Just thinking about some stuff, I guess,” he said, and the lie felt like acid on his tongue. One would think he’d been cursed to tell the truth, rather than it being self-imposed.
“Uh-uh gurl that is an absolute indicator that we need to sit down and talk about stuff, don’t you try and pull that shit with me. If I say shit like that you jump straight to trying to solve my problems so now I’m gonna have to return the favour,” Sleep said, and linked their arms together, he didn’t seem to notice Emile’s flinch at the address.
He pulled Emile along the path, well warn between the tree line and their house. Em’s caution on that day was in fact proven justified, when they found part of it blocked off with the thorn bushes that looked made of metal and were still intimidating to this day. To Sleep, of course, they were nothing, banished with barely a wave of a hand, but Emile would have had far more trouble. And staying in one place that was not the tree house was decidedly dangerous in a forest like this.
There were no other issues however, and Emile found himself quickly ushered up the ladder of the tree house and pushed unceremoniously straight down onto one of the many pillows they had borrowed or otherwise relocated.
“So, babes, spill,” Sleep said, arms crossed.
“It’s not that much, really,” Emile found himself saying before he could help it. Lying really was second nature to humans, even the ones who schooled themselves so hard to be honest, it seemed.
Sleep scowled, clearly seeing the blatant lie. (Just because Emile could lie didn’t mean he was particularly good at it, you know).
Emile looked down at his skirts and then looked up at Sleep again.
“Do you know what? I’ll tell you, but you need to let me change first. I can’t stand to be in this a moment longer, and it is rather relevant,” he bargained, standing and moving towards one of the other small rooms they had created.
“Fine, but don’t think you can avoid this forever, sunshine!” Sleep sighed, slumping back against pillow and wall, absolutely undignified.
It always made Emile laugh a little when he did something like that. To the best of is knowledge, Sleep actually held some kind of importance in his court, and often had moments of that ethereal grace so often accredited to the fae, and yet there were plenty of other moments where he was simply all gangly limbs and ‘please believe I’m badass’ attitude.
He returned five minutes later, pants replacing skirt and hair tied back in a much more comfortable and personally acceptable manner.
“All right,” he said, sitting back down.
“Ok, gurl, what the Ef is up?” Sleep asked, staring him down.
Emile flinched again, just a little.
“Ok, yeah, uh here’s the thing. I’m not. ‘Gurl’ that is. I don’t consider myself to be a girl. I’m a boy,” he said, repeating himself, but not stumbling over the words.
Sleep looked at him blankly for a moment.
“So this is you like, asking me to use He and Him and seeing you as a boy, I’m guessing?” he asked and frowned at Emile’s hesitant nod, “Wait a minute, is this another one of those bullshit human things, do you guys not think people can be different genders? You seem like, far too nervous about this if that wasn’t the case.”
Emile felt something in him truly lighten in that moment. He hadn’t thought Sleep would completely reject him, but he hadn’t expected him to think it was so, well… normal.
“Yes, I would very much like you to do that… And, uh, no, not really…”
Sleep blinked at him owlishly for a moment, “Well, that’s stupid. But if humans don’t do that, then what made you realise if you don’t mind my asking?”
Emile shrugged a little sheepishly, “Well, I’d always felt something was a little bit off, you know. And, uh, it wasn’t all me really. Last week, when my family went into the village for the autumn celebration there was like, travelling performers there. And one of them- a sword swallower, he was a guy like me, and I had spoken to him briefly, obviously curious about his life, but then my parents pulled me away.”
He sighed a little, “They think that people like him- like me are sick, that they’ve been cursed or cursed themselves I guess.”
“Well, you know, this is just adding another tally to my ‘list of reasons why humans are dumb’ you know. If you say you’re a boy then you’re a boy, it’s not that difficult really. Like sure you guys can lie and stuff and that’s cool, but that’s just a total dick move. And we’re the ones with a reputation for being sadistic, honestly!” Sleep said dramatically, draping himself more horizontally across the pillows.
Emile laughed. It was just for a moment, but in that second he swore his heart would burst with love for his dramatic friend, he was so strange and funny, and the fact that he could say that with such confidence when he could not speak a lie, truly warmed Emile’s heart and calmed his fears. Emile loved Sleep and his ridiculous personality and ridiculously handsome face. Well. Ok, maybe that was a thought to categorise for later and Not Think About.
“So,” said Sleep, righting himself, “Babes, have you picked out a new name for yourself, I’m sure it’s super cool just like you.”
His grin was pointy and feral, and Emile laughed, shaking his head, so very used to his antics by now.
“C’mon Sunshine, you should totally tell me your name!” he was laughing now, clearly not even trying to be taken seriously.
“Real nice attempt there, buddy, perfect form, but no, not this time.”
Sleep made a show of being wounded, but eventually returned to a normal sitting position for him (which was to say, he splayed himself across the floor like some sort of cat stretching).
Emile laughed at him but ignored his antics in favour of picking up one of his books. It was a gift he had received recently, and he was yet to finish it.
“You know,” Sleep said, after a while of them sitting in companionable silence, “This probably means that even if you had told me your name before, it wouldn’t count anymore. And anyone that still knows you by that name has even less power over you than before.”
Emile looked up at him and smiled.
“That’s surprisingly good to hear… Thanks.”
There was another long silence.
“Do you like having long hair?” Sleep asked suddenly.
“What?” Emile looked up, confused this time.
“I said do you like having long hair, keep up Sunshine.”
“Well, I mean, no not really. I’d much rather have it shorter, but I’d be worried I’d make myself look ridiculous, and my parents would kill me.”
“Well, I can make it look good,” he said waving his fingers about in a gesture that Emile could only interpret as ‘look at me I’m special I have magic’, “And quite honestly your parents can suck it.”
Emile had laughed at first, but with even the barest hint of an agreement from his lips Sleep pulled him about and got straight to work. His first action was to chop clear off the braid Emile had been wearing, and hand it to him triumphantly, smiling at the rope of golden hair. Then, he had gotten to work, doing stars knew what, removing large chunks and small strands, fluffing, smoothing and running his too long and bony fingers all through it. When he pulled back and announced himself done, Emile was suspicious of the results, but upon seeing himself in the mirrored glass he was presented he couldn’t help but gasp. He hardly recognised himself- definitely in a good way. He looked, almost, like his older brother, with the curly blond hair now cut short, curling around his ears and just bushing his eyebrows when not pushed back.
He leapt from his chair at a moment’s notice, squeezing Sleep into a tight hug.
“I love it,” he said, slightly tearfully, “Thank you.”
“Then, I give you this gift,” Sleep said, resting his hands on Emile’s head, “No strings attached, no payment needed, that for as long as you wish it, your hair shall not grow any longer than this.”
That was another thing he knew he wasn’t supposed to do with the fae- thank them or accept gifts. But it was Sleep, and he’d honestly just done one of the most amazing things he’d witnessed in all his life, so it really would have been remiss of him not to thank him.
After a few more moments of Emile’s tearful hug, they honestly spent the rest of the afternoon as they always did, sitting around, talking and sometimes doing their own thing in silence with each other. And that night, even as dusk began to fall, Emile was unwilling to leave. He didn’t want to go home and have to pretend to be someone else again. He knew he had to eventually, but for now he wanted to hold on to that sense of peace one moment longer.
And so, without even realising it, he drifted off to sleep on the floor and cushions of a tree house that had always felt that much more like a home than where his family lived. Distantly, he knew his parents, and especially his grandmother would be furious, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
That night, for the first time, he knew he could truly hear the voice when it whispered in his ear, “Good night, Sunshine. Sleep well,” while the body it belonged to carefully covered him in a blanket.
4
Emile Picani was a smart boy. All the people from the village asked him for advice on their problems, even though he was just eighteen, he could tell stories that enchanted the young and old alike and that was barely scratching the surface of the many, many things he could do.
Most people thought he was fantastic, if exceedingly odd. Of course, most people also thought that Emile was a girl, and spent his afternoons painting in the fields or reflecting in nature, which did detract from their opinions just a little.
And Emile was happy with that, mostly. He was happy to exist as he was, as long as he had the opportunity to escape, as he did as often as he could with Sleep.
Sleep, his best friend since childhood who he knew as well as he knew himself. Sleep, the boy he had watched grow from baby face to… strikingly handsome, and borderline beautiful. Sleep, the fae who strayed closest to the forest’s edge, and who knew enough about what he was to do it properly now, and still never used his magic against Emile. Sleep, who had done every single thing inside his power, which only extended so far out of the forest, to make Emile more like the man he was- who cut his hair, and found him clothes, and charmed his voice, and loved and accepted him as he was.
Sleep, who Emile had realised- or rather, admitted to himself- four months ago that he was in love with.
It was still strange to think about, that he’d finally owned up to it. (he hadn’t said anything to Sleep though, of course not, what do you think he was, an idiot?). It had taken years, and multiple thoughts that he had decided to ‘think about later’ and then never got around to.
But he was. He was hopelessly in love with his best friend, who also happened to be a fae of importance in his court.
He was in love with his beautiful face, freckled and sharp, his curly, autumn toned hair that shone in the sun, his perfect brow and his long, admittedly slightly gangly limbs. But he was also in love with the way he made him laugh, the way he didn’t always understand human things, but made an effort if Emile cared, the way he felt when he hugged him, and the sweetness he would speak to him with.
Emile could probably name any trait of Sleep’s and declare himself in love with it, because he was. And trust him, he knew this wasn’t a trick or curse. As soon as he was willing to admit it to himself, he tried every magical method he knew to detect or lift a curse, to learn about meddling magics and everything he could possibly try. And none of it helped, and he was forced to admit that it was all him, and his… feelings.
Usually Emile was good with feelings, though, apparently that didn’t apply to his own.
And after his brief tirade of trying everything under the sun to rid himself of a curse, he started returning to the forest again, and for every time he refused to answer Sleep on his absence, his heart grew a little heavier.
But he adapted, and accepted it, and internalised it, because there was no way someone like Sleep would be interested in me. I’m mortal. My friendship is one thing, but that was quite another. So, they went on as normal, and if Emile noticed the Sleep noticed that something was wrong, neither would admit it.
Emile wouldn’t dare to disrupt something that was already working so well. Why do that for some simple feelings when the friendship they already had was so important.
So, it was normal. For a while at least. And then Emile’s parents had to go and destroy all of it.
He’d been told on a perfectly normal winters morning. He’d just finished cleaning up the hearth from the night before and getting ready to light a new fire for the rest of the day, when his mother and sisters had pulled him away. They’d refused to tell him what for, wittering away between each other as they pulled him and sat him down at the kitchen table.
His grandmother sat behind them, frowning at their antics, and throwing worried glances his way. He wasn’t sure how to interpret that, his grandmother had never seemed to like him, until recently.
Eventually, his mother stopped dancing about, and grinned widely.
“Darling, darling we have such wonderful news for you!” she announced, practically dancing in place. “We’ve found you a husband.”
Emile felt cold. This was terrible. He had tried so, so hard to avoid this. He had walked out on more than one conversation about it and had done everything in his power to ensure that none of the men in the village would be interested.
He didn’t want a husband, not just because he was in love with Sleep, but because he knew that they would want him to move away, to live in the village or some other farm, and leave his forest, and Sleep and everything that really mattered, and the only person that understood and accepted him as a man.
“Oh, look! She’s in shock, it’s so sweet!” twittered his youngest sister, Mary, who despite being only twelve had wanted a husband and her own family since forever. “Oh, I’m jealous, you’re so lucky Em, I thought we’d never do it!”
“Yes, it really is quite a miracle, it’s almost as if she’d been trying to avoid it,” Annie, his other sister said, with as much dry bite as she could manage, looking down her nose at him.
He squirmed in his seat.
“Now, girls,” his mother said, hushing them, “Emily may have made it a little difficult, with the short hair, and the pants, and the disappearing and the… general lack of approachability to suiters and…”
Emile knew that she was trying to find a way to say “and everything else” without sounding rude. And honestly, he was proud of that. Half of that was just who he was, but the other half had been a deliberate attempt to ward off such suitors. And it had apparently worked until now.
“Yes, that is rather a lot of difficult things to contend with, isn’t it,” said Annie, primly.
“Oh, but it’s soooo romantic that he decided he wants to marry her regardless, don’t you think Anne? I’m sure she’ll just love him- He’s so handsome! And I think that he like, thinks he’s rescuing her,” Mary said dreamily.
From behind them, in the doorway, Emile’s grandmother spoke up.
“Do you girls plan on hearing what Em has to say on the matter, or are you content to continue gossipin’ about the engagement like village hens?”
Emile was surprised, he’d never heard his grandmother speak in his defence in that way before.
They all looked in shock at their grandmother, before turning back to Emile, now waiting for him to say something.
“I think,” he said, hating how his voice shook, “I think I shall have to spend some time contemplating this. In nature.”
Then he stood from the table roughly and hurried out the door, ignoring the many calls after him and the clattering of his chair.
He hurried past the tree line, into the forest, and down the path. He had no idea if it was safe that day, and he didn’t care. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, all he knew was that he needed to be not here and rather there. There, at the treehouse, there with Sleep, there away from that nightmare.
He stumbled along the path, basically running blind, and up, into the treehouse. The first thing he did was change out of his dress, the second was collapse in a heap on the cushions.
Not too long after, he felt a hand on his arm, and without thinking threw himself towards it. He could tell in a moment that it was Sleep, from just the touch, but even more so for burying his face in his shirt. He smelled of crisp autumn leaves even in the winter, and soft, earthy scents like mushrooms.
Emile barely managed to get his story out, between gasps for breath and his body shaking.
He was sure that Sleep could tell, just by listening to his thoughts. The thoughts screaming, I don’t want this. I want anything but this.
Sleep gently stroked his hair and listened to him speak. When he was done, he pulled him tighter against him, and calmed him gently.
“Babes, what do you want me to do?” he asked, seriously, his jet dark eyes glinting.
“There’s nothing you can do… I can’t… there’s nothing I can think of that will fix this- I can’t, my family will disown me if I don’t…” he sighed.
“You could stay with me, Sunshine?
“Don’t be silly, Sleep. They’d come looking and take me away. And then they’d be after you too”
“No, babes, I meant it. You could stay here with me. You promised me, back when we were kids, that your time here in the forest would be spent with me. If you stay in this forest, they can’t take you away from me, if you don’t want to go. Promises with the fae are binding, you know that,” he said, seriousness coating his features in an unfamiliar pattern.
“Oh,” said Emile, for a moment, hope blossoming in his chest, only to be crushed by reality. “Oh, I wish I could Sleep, but… I don’t belong here. I can come, and visit you- you’re not the problem, but I’m… I’m just a human. I couldn’t truly live out here…”
It hurt. There wasn’t much flowery language that could dance about that, he was, simply put, sad.
Sleep frowned.
“I’m sure I could find a way to work around that- I have magic, I have people who know magic. I could, I could find something. I could do something, anything. I would- I’d do anything to keep you here with me Em- Hell, if only you’d tell me your name I could end all this right now and-” he said frantically, hands dancing around, and voice clipped.
In that moment, Emile could really see the fae shining through- he wouldn’t lie and say it wasn’t a little scary. He’d never really believed Sleep when he’d asked him for his name before, never thought that there would be a moment when he would actually fear the question, and it scared him. But after a second, he calmed, he breathed deeply like Emile had taught him for dealing with bad emotions and steadied himself.
“If it is what you want, Em, I will find a way to stop this. Be it keeping you here, or some other way of removing him I will do it- but only if that’s what you want. I will look into any option- What’s the point of being a prince if I can’t, find a solution to this- but I won’t use any of these options without you asking first. I swear it to you,” he declared, and the rush of magic this time was palpable.
Oh. Oh, he thought. Sleep is a prince, he thinks first, stunned. His second thought could not be distilled down into so simple a sentence. It was more a vague amalgamation of emotions- gratitude at the offer, regret at having thought he would ever hurt him really, doubt in his ability to do anything, and mostly pure, shining love.
“Thank you,” he whispers softly, “I- I don’t think that I can choose that but thank you…”
There’s a long moment of silence, and he realises in that moment that he can’t leave with these things left unsaid.
“I- Sleep, you’re my best friend in the world and it would hurt so much to be apart from you but… I couldn’t stand to be with you all the time either, because- because-” he felt like he was choking on the words, like his throat was filled with precious stones that didn’t want to come forward, until they all spilled out in one moment, “Because I’m in love with you and I couldn’t stand to have you so close, all the time, and not, not have that, but I know I can’t, because you’re- you’re you- you’re fae, and a prince apparently to boot and I’m just the mortal boy who fell into every stereotypical trap. So, thank you for the offer, but I can’t.”
And then he turned and fled for the second time that day before he could even look at Sleep’s face. He cried, alone, in his room that night, when even his sisters were avoiding him.
When he fell asleep, he didn’t expect to even hear the voice that whispered in his ear, but he did. And it said, “Sleep well,” but it felt like it was calling him home. It felt like, “I miss you,” and “I’ll protect you.” it felt like his heartbreaking, and he couldn’t do anything to fix it.
+ 1
The day that Emile met his fiancé was not a good one.
It was freezing cold, but his mother hand forced him into the fanciest dress he owned, which was far thinner than was appropriate for this kind of weather, and they expected him to walk into the village with them.
The walk felt longer than usual. He tried to focus on something other than the cold air stinging his lungs or nipping his skin. So, instead, he thought. He thought about his fiancé, his fate, and future. And the niggling reminder of Sleep’s promise. Well, he tried not to think about that one, honestly. But out of all his concerns, that was the only one that didn’t leave him feeling as cold as the winter he walked in.
He still knew nothing about his fiancé, not even his name. There were a dozen eligible young men in the village it could be, and Emile would be happy with… none of them. Not a single one.
Once, he thought he could have accustomed himself to the idea. And then he realised two integral things to his whole… being, and suddenly he didn’t think he could.
These thoughts were such a dark, spiralling hole he barely noticed when they finally arrived in the village, and his mother and sisters pulled insistently at his arms to guide him.
There was only one other family at the village square, that morning, everyone else inside like smart people, and in seeing them- Well, if Emile had been cold before he was practically frozen now.
With no one else in sight, there were no other options, and the panic bubbled lowly in Emile’s stomach.
Fredrick Jackson, and his father, grandfather, mother and sisters, stood by the frozen village fountain. Fredrick, whose family were known for being hunters and trappers and their cold, cruel nature. Which was all well and, well, bad on its own, but the Jackson’s were also known for something else, something that Emile thought was easily worse, to him at least. They didn’t just hunt animals; they hunted the supernatural- and especially the fae.
Emile stopped dead in his tracks. The glare his sister threw him was withering, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
His mother grabbed his arm roughly and pulled him forward, pasting on a brittle smile between the jab to his ribs. He tried his best to school his features into…impassivity… he couldn’t manage sweet or happy and he knew it.
“Ah, and there she is!” Fredrick exclaimed loudly, “The not-witch.”
Emile flinched at the name. He knew he’d been called it in the village for years, but not many were game enough to say it to his face. They didn’t want to risk his anger if he were a witch and didn’t want to feel the guilt if he wasn’t.
“Jackson,” he said, schooling his voice to neutrality.
“Oh, yes, yes, you were right Maria, you cheeky little minx. I can practically see the magic on her, oh she will be a challenge.”
Oh, Emile could hardly stop himself from bristling.
Fredrick’s mother, Lucinda, ran her eyes over him savagely, and then sighed pointedly.
“Yes- you can see it in basically everything- the hair, the voice- just,” she paused gesturing her up and down, “All over. Either she is a witch or has consistent contact with something else of strong magic.”
She said that as though it made a bad smell appear under her nose. Emile barely contained the urge to bolt.
“Yes, mother and that is what will make her a challenge. I’m sure you’ll make a proper Jackson spouse of her eventually,”
“I happen to be a person, not a challenge, Fredrick, and would appreciate if you would treat me as such,” Emile said, voice firm despite his mother’s glare.
Fredrick waved his hand dismissively.
“What are her hobbies, again, Mrs Picani? How does she spend her free time?” his sister, Maria, asked.
“Well, she’s quite good at painting and writing, and telling stories... and likes walks in nature and the like. She’s also quite skilled at embroidery.”
“I happen to be able to talk for myself!”
His mother jabbed him in the ribs again.
“Hmm. Well, we will have to teach her a few things- respect, namely it seems. And dispel that awful charm on her hair, but this could work,” Mr Jackson said.
“Oh fantastic,” his mother said, ignoring the slight in the words, “It would be an honour to join our families Mr Jackson. My husband would be happy to discuss negotiations with you, while I discuss wedding plans with Lucinda.”
Emile squirmed. He just wanted to be at home, with a book, or with Sleep or really, anywhere but here.
Mr Jackson nodded curtly.
“Wonderful. Girls, why don’t you return home and give your grandmother of the good news.”
Emile immediately turned to flee.
“No, not you Emily, you should stay and get to know your future husband,” She said tightly.
“Oh, it’s no matter. We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other after the wedding,” Fredrick said with what he probably assumed to be a winning smile.
Emile shuddered internally.
“Indeed. In that case,” she said making a face but waving Emile off.
He turned on heel immediately. He walked as fast as he could without looking like he was running. There was something welling up inside him. He couldn’t tell if it was panic, disgust or something else entirely.
His sisters trailed behind him, gossiping between themselves and giggling into their gloves. It didn’t take long to completely lose sight of them.
When he made it home, he collapsed at the dining table, not even with enough energy to make it to his room.
“Is he as bad as his father?” a voice asked from the doorway. Emile looked up, startled by his grandmother’s presence.
“what?”
“I said, is he as bad as his father. Fredrick, I mean.”
“Oh… well, that depends on what you think is bad.”
“Abhorrent personality, stuck up, hates anythin’ magical unless it’s one of their own weapons,” his grandmother suggested.
“I mean, yeah, he’s all of that- wait, don’t you hate magic grandmother?” he asked, confused.
She stared at him for a long moment, her wrinkled face set in a mask. And then it broke, as she laughed.
“Hey- what are you- what’s so funny about that?” he exclaimed.
“Oh, oh you think that I hate magic, little one? That does explain some things, indeed. No, of course I don’t hate magic, how could I? I’m a witch.”
Emile stared at her.
“But- you- but when we were younger, you told all those stories and- and…” he trailed off, more confused than before.
“I told you stories so you could protect yourself from the good neighbours, and other people usin’ magic against ya, kid. Not that you listened to a single one, mind.” She said, pinning him with a knowing stare.
He squirmed.
“Why do you think I taught you all those ways to test for magic- they’re magic in and of themselves, boy. Anyone can carry iron and holly berries on them, but it takes magic and will to do the rest.”
Emile’s head spun. And then, he paused, and something stuck out to him.
“Wait, what- what did you just call me?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer, but hoping so, so hard.
“Well, I called ya boy, and I ain’t calling you man, because you’re still far too young for that, kid, but it’s what ya are aren’t ya- don’t think I can’t tell these kinds of things. I thought we just established that I use magic. An’ speaking of, I think it’s about time I knew what name to actually call you, kid.”
“How did you know? When? I never said anything and- why did you never say anything… I thought that no one would understand… I… I’m Emile…” he said, surprised, sadness and hope warring for equal place in his tone.
“I knew before you were born. When you mama was pregnant with you, I tested, just as I did for all your brothers and sisters, and the magic told me you’d be a boy. Your parents thought I was looney when you were born, but I haven’t been wrong before or since, I knew it was just a matter of time…”
“Then why didn’t you say something, if you knew, why didn’t you… help me?”
She looked at him, and laughed, “You wouldn’ta accepted my help if I’d offered boy, don’t think I don’t know that. You were scared of me for years, and weary and distasteful after tha’. I knew my place. An’ besides, that boy of yours in the forest seemed to do a damn good job of it anyway.”
“He’s not my boy- wait, you know about Sleep? I thought you hated the fae, how can you be so nonchalant about me- me being friends with one of them?”
As if that day couldn’t be any more confusing.
“Of course, I know about your boy- what kind of witch’d I be if I didn’t know about my grandson traipsing around in the woods with the prince of the fair folk. I was keepin’ an eye out for you. Now, this don’t mean I like them, mind, but he’s… he’d good for you, Em. I’ve seen him lookin’ after you, in a way that none of us here could. I don’t trust him… not for me, but for you… you help each other, don’t you?”
“I mean… I like to think so… but that doesn’t matter, anyway… I probably won’t be able to ever see him again, after I’m married.”
His grandmother snorted.
“I have no idea how your mother convinced the Jacksons to even talk to us- they’ve been out for my blood for forty years- but please tell me you ain’t actually thinkin’ of going through with this just ‘cause it’s what your mama wants, boy?”
“What else am I supposed to do, then? I can’t say no and stay here, and the only other option I have is… well…” he trails off, staring out the window at the forest in the distance.
“Ah, your boy has a way out does he?”
“He’s not my boy,” Emile repeated, “We’re just… friends…”
“Of course, you are, sweety, I haven’t seen you pining for months or anything.”
“Hey! I’m not that obvious- oh, oh darn…” he sighs, “I mean, yeah, he has a way, but I wouldn’t be able to leave the forest again, I don’t think… and he almost certainly hates me now, after my last visit.”
His grandmother levels him with a look for a very long moment, before sighing and resting a hand over his.
“There ain’t nothing here for you honey, I think we both know that. You’d be miserable with Fredrick, you ain’t no wife and you ain’t no Jackson, you’ve had magic in your veins since before you were born, an’ that boys only strengthened it… An’ if you ain’t either of those things, I think you’ll find it’ll be hard to be with the rest of this family, anyway. An’ that boy, he gave his word to protect you, if you wanted it, I can sense these kinds of promise’s Emile, an’ the fae ain’t gonna make them lightly. He loves you just like you love him,” her eyes were grim, but the hand on his was warm, and comforting.
He sighed, resting his head in his free hand.
“You’re right, probably- about the protection, not the liking me back- but I don’t- I can’t… what about you? and what about them they’ll come looking for me, I know,” he said, voice small.
“Don’t you worry about me, boy. I’m old, but I still got enough left in me. I’ll come an’ visit you in those woods of yours,” she said with a strange grin, before her features turn serious once more, “An’ we’ll deal with them others, don’t worry. I have a plan.”
When his family returned that night, Emile joined them in their ‘festivities’. He pretended, as well he could when every lie still felt like a betrayal to a promise, that he was happy, that this was what he wanted.
He ate dinner with them and tried to ignore the burning the feeling of the letter in his pocket, that felt as though it would burn a hole through the cloth, and the thought of the bag, packed upstairs ready to flee.
He waited until both his sisters had gone to sleep before he dared enter their bedroom, changing as quietly as he could, pulling on warm, thick trousers and a coat. He took the bag, and crept downstairs, thinking his parents to be in bed. He laid the letter down on the table with the words, written as neatly as he could have in a shaking hand, face up, for the world to see.
Dear Family,
Know that I love you, and will miss you dearly, but cannot remain. I cannot marry the man you have chosen for me, and I cannot continue to live a lie. I love another, and am not who you think I am. Please do not look for me, you will not like what you find.
Your daughter, and sister, Emily
Your brother, and son, E.
He couldn’t bring himself to lie, in his final message, and that strike through was the only alteration made.
The letter was his goodbye to his family, and as he took a moment, to have what he knew would be one, final, look around the kitchen he had grown up in, he said his goodbye to that place, and walked out the door.
He left the warmth of his house in favour of the cold, dark, outside, and began his trek into the woods.
Perhaps if he had taken a moment longer to look around that room, he would have noticed his father watching from the doorway.
Halfway to the tree, Emile heard noises. It was shouting, the yells of men and the bays of dogs. He turned and saw lights in the distance.
Oh. Oh, no.
He ran. Before, he had been content to walk, but now, he fled with purpose. The path was dangerous at night, and the thorns reached for him at every opportunity, but he ignored every one that made contact. He had to go.
His breaths came in loud, puffing gasps, sending mist spiralling into the cold, and the crunch of his feet on snow was just as loud in his ears.
But then, ahead of him- More lights, not the ones of pursuers, but ones of safety. He tumbled into the clearing with the tree, and threw himself inside the house, still so cold, and curled into a shape as small as he could manage, on the pillows.
He hoped with every shred of his being, that Sleep would come, that he would know, and he would find him.
He could still hear the yells, the cries to split up or stay together, but in some moments, his frantic breathing overtook it.
Stop this. He told himself. You know better than this. Breath. Breath properly Emile.
He focused and schooled his breathing into something resembling normalcy. He steeled himself. He could do this. He was strong enough for this. He would hide, and they would not find him, or they would, and he would refuse to leave. He could do this.
Then, there was a hand on his shoulder, pulling him up. He wanted to scream, but there wasn’t enough air in his chest. And then he saw Sleep, and he stilled.
“Hey, hey babes are you ok, hey babes c’mon, what’s wrong?” he asked fluttering his hands all over Emile, checking for injuries.
“I’m- I’m here because I can’t do it, I can’t marry him. I missed you and I hate him and there’s nothing there for me and I love you enough that I could- I could be happy to be with you even just as your friend, but I can’t go back. I won’t.”
“Oh, oh Em, sunshine, darling, I wouldn’t ever make you go back,” he said, a hand on his cheek, “Of course I want you here with me. However you’ll have me… because… I love you too, my Sunshine.”
Emile’s heart stopped. He loved him. Sleep loved him. He could cry. Gods, he wanted to kiss him so bad.
“Hey! Over this way, there’s light!” he heard a yell, in the distance. Even from here, he could tell, it was Fredrick.
“Oh, no- oh- Sleep, that’s him... he’s- darn, no. I’ll have to face him, convince him to leave,” he jumped and started to pace, thinking
“Absolutely not, I might look like a lanky bitch, but I am stronger than you! and besides-” Sleep was cut off as Emile whirled around.
“I am not a damsel in distress, Sleep, I came out here to save myself, and besides, he’s a magic hunter- He, if anyone, can hurt you, but he won’t touch me!”
“I was going to say- ‘besides, I told you before about your promise’. They can’t take you, it’s against the magic.”
Emile’s mouth formed a comically round ‘O’. For a moment, he looked relieved, and then he blanched.
“Wait, is that- is it as strong as gifts you gave me for my hair and my voice?” he asked cautiously.
“About the same, yeah, babes,” Sleep said with a cocky grin.
“Then that won’t work, he- His family seem to know how to dispel those kinds of things- I don’t know if it’s true but… I don’t like the risk.” He sighed, pacing again.
Sleep frowned.
“Well… then, babes… I was going to wait to suggest this… but… I- I was trying to find a way to, like, make sure they couldn’t take you if you did… come back, and to… be able to keep you with me, forever, after that.” He said slowly.
“And did you?”
Hesitance.
“Well, yeah babes… but, it’s a- it’s like a whole commitment and a half. It’s a lot. It’s a spell, old, fae magic. To take a human partner and give them the life of a fae while they remain bound to their… partner… only- only like super powerful fae can do it, and totally don’t like to brag, but I think that I can manage it… for you. No other magic, or dispelling, could remove that…”
“There- that has to be her, she’s not dumb enough to wander around in the dark out here,” the voice comes again, closer now.
“I’ll do it,” he says without thinking, not that he needs to.
Sleep looks startled, but nods and pulls Emile to the middle of the room, and laces both his hands through Emile’s.
“Here, in this moment, I call the world to witness me, as I ask you to join in my eternity. I ask of you three things, that I will return in kind, to bind us together, truly and fully. I ask first of you a proclamation of your heart, your feelings laid bare with no dishonesty,” Sleep didn’t waver in his clear recitation, staring directly into Emile’s face.
“My feelings… My feelings for you, with no dishonesty, are love, and trust, and loyalty. I love you, once as a friend and now as… whatever this is,” Emile’s voice did waver, as he tried to put to words the love he felt.
He also felt a little lightheaded, this was all so fast but nothing about it felt… wrong. On the contrary, it felt like exactly where he needed to be.
“You are, quite literally my Sunshine. You brighten my day and everything around you, you make me as happy as I’ve ever been and there is nothing, I’d have over you. I’ve loved you ever since I’ve known what love was, as a friend, and now… as this… My sunshine.” He takes a deep breath and continues to recite as the yells outside carry closer, “I ask second of you that you swear your life and loyalty to me, that will last as long as this bond.”
“I swear my life and loyalty to you, the love of my life, with no regrets,” Emile said, feeling almost bold as he could sense the magic coursing through the air around him.
It felt like it was digging into his skin, taking root, and pulling him forwards. He leans towards Sleep, feeling like he had his own pull of gravity.
“And I swear my life and loyalty to you, with no regrets, my cheeky little human, who clearly is trying to outdo me in dramatic declarations of love, which is quite clearly criminal,” Sleep laughs, releasing his hand to rest a palm against Emile’s cheek, tenderly.
Emile leaned into the touch.
“I ask, third and finally of you, your true name, freely given in exchange, to bind us as one,” Sleep said, face so close to Emile’s he could barely focus on anything else.
“My name- My true name,” he said, breathing deeply, “Is Emile Picani, and I give this freely, in exchange.”
The magic around him clashes then, sudden bursts of sparks along his skin, searing but not burning, and leaving pleasant warmth in their place. It surges, and surrounds him, and it moves and pushes, it pushes him towards Sleep and then in a moment- it freezes, and it holds, and waits, like a wave caught just before the crash, a second away from spilling over and waiting for the push.
“And my true name, freely given, is Remy,” says- says Remy, and the magic falls.
It’s like a tidal wave, and a tree falling, and a hurricane. It catches on every part of him and pushes them together, their chests touch, their fingers still laced and Remy’s other hand still on his cheek, and it’s almost like they’re falling into exactly where the world wants them to be.
Their lips meet, and it would be remiss to say that it was like magic- because it wasn’t just like magic, it was magic, zipping through them at every connected point, like sparks between their lips.
It was wonderful, and everything, and perfect, and just a little awkward to experience so much at one time. And then it was over, and the magic dimmed, and it was just them, and something between them that Emile could only assume was whatever… that had been building.
And their second kiss was just as good as the first, less signing fire and more slow, tender caring, and understanding.
“I love you, Remy,” Emile said quietly.
“I love you too, my beautiful Emile,” He smiled as if the taste of his name on his lips were like wine, “I’ve waited years to be able to say that, and now, no one will stop me again.”
Emile could still hear the shouting, but as he rested his head on Remy’s shoulder, knowing that this- this bond was unbreakable, he didn’t fear. He was strong, and standing side by side with Remy, he was stronger, and he wasn’t going back. He had everything he needed right there.
#remile#remy sanders#sleep/remy#emile#dr emile picani#fae au#trans!emile#fae!remy#cursing#friends to lovers#four and one#writing#fanfic#emo writes things#sanders shorts#cartoon therapy
286 notes
·
View notes
Photo
it's officially July but I'm still on pride mode!!! can't stop won't stop
Here are my lgbt+/queer hcs for class 1(g)A(y)!!! Here's what they are in case you don't recognize all of the flags (bc let's be real before I started coloring this I wouldn't recognize at least a few of them either ;^; ), strap in bc it's going to get l o n g:
(also they’re listed in the order they’re shown in the deviantart post rather than this one oop)
- Ojiro is trans!! I feel like he prefers being stealth but still celebrates with all his classmates because it's such a special occasion :')
- Tooru is pan and a demigirl!!! It's her first pride and she's hyped!!!! And full of love!!!!! Love Is Stored In The Tooru!!!
- Todoroki is a gay demiboy!! His trauma has made his experience with gender rather vague and blurry but he's still happy to have a label to somehow describe himself!! He's using End*vor's credit card to buy all of his friends pride merch!!
- Midoriya is bi and trans!! He's been so happy to see his friends discover themselves and even more so to see them celebrating :')
- Iida is bi!! As the second of the three members of the Rich Kids Club, he also wants to support and reaffirm his friends by buying them pride stuff!!
- Kirishima is gay and trans!! I hc that he's been basically the class' go-to for gender identity/sexuality stuff bc he's been out-and-proud since Day 1 until pretty much everyone had a big coming-out ("I'm gay!" "Cool! I think I might be bi! :0c" "I...might...not be a girl???" "I'm pretty sure I'm [ace/genderfluid/etc.]" "What's that?" "Oh, it's [...]" "...might have to look into that. I think it might fit me too?" " :'D !!!!! " ) (he probably cried bc he was so proud of everyone) and then things calmed down a bit . He's a tinsy bit sad ppl no longer come to him for it but he pushes it down because he's just so!!!!!! happy to be surrounded by so many ppl like him!!
- Bakugou is gay, trans and demisexual!! The last part was the hardest for him to figure out and he spent a lot of time being confused at other people, it was when Sero shared his own orientations that he thought maybe he wasn't as alone as he had thought :')
- Uraraka is bi!! She's spent years thinking her crushes on girls were just her being jealous/wanting to be friends with them/not as important/stong as the crushes she's had on boys. She's getting over that internalized stuff now and I'm proud of her!!
- Tsuyu is a trans girl and a lesbian!! She's been very open about wanting people to call her "Tsuyu-chan" because she chose that name herself!! And she's so happy that everyone here is supportive of her and each other!!
- Yaomomo is also a lesbian!! This is her first pride, she's so excited to see all these people with different identities and experiences come together, and while she could easily create pride merch herself she much rather prefers supporing the indepentent LGBT+/Queer creators selling their own! (Hence why she bought two different variations of the lesbian flag for both her and Jirou!) (and probably many more of the stuff you see everyone wearing lol)
- (Speaking of,) Jirou is also also a lesbian and also nonbinary!! Her only connection to girlhood is her love for other girls, but other than maybe updating her wardrobe a little she doesn't mind presenting femininely.
- Sero is asexual, demiromantic and genderflux!! He's v. chill about everything, he probably found out and was like "Oh. Ok cool. I'm hungy" like he has a very laid-back attitude abt his identity/orientation but he Will defend his friends' to hell and back. Group mom heck yea
- Kaminari is bi and nonbinary!! He was scared shitless to the point of losing sleep when he started figuring out that he miiiight like boys too, and even more so when he realised he might not even be a boy?? Thankfully being surrounded by so many supportive people (and having Kirishima as one of his closest and more trustworthy friends) helped him accept himself :')
- Mina is pan and trans!! She's always been very open about being a Romantic™ but rather than being the Disaster Pan that gets flustered around everyone, she's the Disaster Pan that flirts shamelessly using Terrible pick up lines ("If we were dating...heh.....let's just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore ;) " was the first ever thing she said to Kirishima, which earned her an extremely confused and somewhat flustered "I'm????ga y???? ???????" (it was the first time he'd admitted it out loud so he kinda thanks her for that) )
- Tokoyami is bi and trans!! A while back I read a fic that happened to have trans Tokoyami in it and was like "You know what. Yeah I can see it!" Emo culture is probably what helped him realize, with it playing around with and disregarding gender stereotypes and everything.
- Aoyama is transmasculine, genderfluid and aromantic!! For the longest time he'd much rather have people mistake him for a feminine/gnc boy rather than a girl. It took him a while to come to terms with his aromanticism, since pretty much everyone expected him to be gay- he kinda expected it himself too, since he never liked girls that way, so?? But when he found out about the term "aromantic" it was like a weight lift off his shoulders.
- Shoji is netrois and androsexual!! He knew he liked boys early but he's avoided dealing with figuring out his gender out of fear that he'd be disappointed- he's only ever seen nonbinary/genderqueer people depicted as androgynous and much smaller in stature than himself, so he thought he'd never fit. Seeing everyone else come out (especially the other nonbinary classmates of his), he stopped hesitating and starting working on coming to terms with himself!!
- Satou is asexual and panromantic!! I don't really have much reasoning for this, I never really thought about it (or Satou himself) but when the time came to draw this I was like "Satou likes baking.....and puns are ace culture......FOOD PUNS!!! OF COURSE!!!" I'm sorry glkjhklhfdlkhj;
- Koda is a trans boy!! He's had trouble recognizing it at the start because he's always been soft-spoken (almost nonverbal) and timid and kind, and """"those aren't traits of a boy""""" but he was so happy when he hit puberty and started growing So Much in stature due to his genes and people started "mistaking" him for a boy!! He came out to his parents almost immediately bc compassion and kindness seems to run in the family and he knew he'd be accepted even if they didn't completely understand!! He was more scared to come out to his classmates but when two, three, four of them come out and are accepted for being trans boys, he knows he'll be safe with them too.
- And finally, last but not least, Aizawa is gay and trans!! He might act somewhat aloof about this stuff, but secretly he's very happy that his kids students all have eachother's support, and most of them their families'. Part of him is a little bitter and wishes he had the same kind of support system in their age, but he's going to be there for them if they need him nonetheless. He has his own support system now, and that matters a lot, too.
But wait!! There's M O R E !!!!!
- I always love love LOVE how fanartists/editors give some of the characters more animal-like features, so I did that too!!! I went Full-on-Frog with Tsuyu (and I'm rather proud of how she came out (lol) ), but also I gave Mina some Sharp Chompers and a Fluffy lil' tail bc It's What She Deserves, and Ojiro a lil' toof poking out and ears that sharpen a lil bit at the tips? I hc that as he grows, other than his tail he'll start growing more animal features like that- sharper teeth, longer ears, claws and also, get ready.....pawbeans........the last ones give him Heck when they start growing out, and he needs his palms massaged at least once a day while they do :'( His legs get weird too and they end up looking more like a wolf's back legs :0c
- I gave a lot of them freckles!!!! bc I Love Freckles!!!!!! also, as my sister very eloquently pointed out, I gave Uraraka "A R M S,,,,," bc. let's be honest. the girl got martial training she's not a twig
- Sero is holding the polyamorous flag behind himself, Kaminari and Mina bc.. u guessed it,, they're all dating each other,,,,, lotsa smooches and cuddling and shenanigans bc there's only maybe one(1) braincell between the three of them and most of the time sero has it
- Todoroki, Midoriya, Iida, Kirishima, Bakugou, Tsuyu, Yaomomo, Koda and Aizawa are also autistic. Yes all of them. No I won't explain. (unless you ask in good faith and want to share your own hcs pls ask me then I'll explain everything and you can expect it to be as long as this description!!!!!) (I might draw something about it when it's April again maybe *thinking emoji* )
- Oh!!! and Tooru, Kaminari and Mina are ADHD. Kirishima is also dyslexic.
- Bakugou has been losing his hearing ever since he entered U.A.- sure he's always used his quirk but never freely to that extend and with so much power behind it, so getting into fight after fight with such close proximity to explosions that big really did a number on his ears. He can hear a little better with the right one than the left, so Kirishima has gotten used to walking by his right side before his custom hearing aids came in, and then just stuck to that. Bakugou's custom hearing aids block out any noise above a certain volume bc let's assume technology has advanced to do that. When he and Kirishima started thinking about working together as heroes even after they graduate, Bakugou requested custom ear protectors with similar block-out features as his hearing aids for Kirishima so his ears aren't damaged by working so close to Bakugou (Kirishima cried).
- I'm actually quite flexible on which of the two I hc as trans, or if I hc both of them to be. The "both gay + demi Bkg" is pretty set in my interpretation of them, but I find it interesting how their friendship/relationship could manifest and grow somewhat differently depending on if both of them are trans or if only one of them (and depending on which one of them it is). They're still the same loud rowdy boyes we know and love but there's different conversations to have and difficulties to tackle between them based on that factor alone, and frankly? I Adore It.
Okay that's all!!!! I think. Thanks for reading, if you did!! And if not, I completely understand lol
I hope you had a great pride month!!
#des draws#queerart#lgbtplus#artists on tumblr#serokamimina#serominakami#kamiseromina#what's their ship name......#todoiideku#tsuchako#kiribaku#momojirou#ojitooru#do i tag all the characters?? i dont wanna gkldfhgkjds#boku no hero academia#bnha#aizawa shouta#midoriya izuku#todoroki shouto#iida tenya#bakugou katsuki#kirishima eijirou#uraraka ochako#asui tsuyu#ojiro mashirao#hagakure tooru#yaoyorozu momo#100#500
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
I don't wanna start anything but I've seen the lack of love for POC ships happen in dozens of fandoms now and I just gotta say you can't fault people for not liking what you like bro. You could make a show full of diverse representation but no one's truly gonna care unless the characters are actually interesting. I'm black but I'm not gonna enjoy a show JUST b/c there's a black person in it. If I don't like them I don't like them and them or me being black has nothing to do with it
okay so racism tw , supergirl, anti supercorp fandom, anti supergirl fandom. long post for ts
no, it’s okay, you are free to express your opinion, just like I’m free to get annoyed at the tag being filled with Lena and Lena and Lena I haven’t watched a show that has an ace character in it, Sex Education, because it’s not my kind of show and it bores me (though I do reblog gifsets of the Ace Scene and I am so happy about it. Because I do care about ace representation, I try to promote these things and also to share so that it might reach people who are interested in shows like that and will get a kick out of it. But I’m not saying everyone has to), and I’m not saying you must like everything, but at the same time a fandom like ours simply ignoring the plot of entire episodes because… what, they only find one character interesting and they couldn’t find ANY other worth mentioning, is something I personally found ridiculous.
And that’s kind of the thing, isn’t it? You raised a great point. If this was a part of the fandom that from the beginning had simply said ‘I like this because of my tastes, and everyone has different ones’ I wouldn’t be exasperated, but given how it actually went, nope, THEY said it wasn’t just about people’s tastes, it’s about having representation and supporting fellow lgbtqia+ fans. So good part of my frustration depends on this specific fandom and how it behaved in the past.
For more context, it bothers me that the loudest (even if small) group of fans left watching supergirl on tumblr are the ones yelling about how Kara and Lena not being together is homophobia, and how they are being queerbaited and how the show (and non supercorp fans) is against gay people, while the tag itself is full of posts either complaining about the lack of Lena, and writing posts about Lena, and completely ignoring the amazing wlw couple there and the trans character there, and in fact those episodes with little Lena but focused on those characters get downvoted/boycotted/ignored by the fandom, and while they hate on all actors and writers if they so much as point out it’s not canon or that they are being bullies, and attack minorities, people of colors, transgender people, people with mental illnesses all day long to defend their ‘rights’. Not to mention that it’s the same group that back in the day accused people of shipping Kara and Mon El, also canon, together because they were against James, who is black, and so it was because ‘racism,’ and then turned around and hated James as soon as he was canonly together with Lena. And there is proof of them being racist as well like when they photoshopped James’s actor as an ape* next to Lena’s actress, and how Raul who played Lena’s ex also commented on that behavior. They use social issues to attack everyone and then show they don’t really care about supporting a show that actually has the representation THEY say they are not getting.
I was bored by James and Kara. Nothing to do with him being black. I found him cute with Lena at first but then it became a bad relationship for him to keep. But if you (always a general you, not YOU-YOU anon) accuse me of shipping Kara with someone else (Mon El) only because I’m racist and don’t want her with James, that’s the only reason, and then you start insulting James like hell for being with Lena, you basically said it yourself that it’s racism, and on top of it you used his being black and the ‘you are racist’ card as props to attack people, and then disregarded him and the actor as soon as you didn’t need it anymore, and that sounds also racist to me. As well as how pretending to care about trans issues only to ignore the trans character after you stop needing it is using that character/actress and it’s transphobic, if you ask me.
I’m not saying it’s everyone, I’m not saying it’s all those shippers, I’m not saying personal taste doesn’t count, but come on. Just admit you only care about your ship and it’s not about ‘moral’ reasons, that’s fine, but make it a social issue, and then turn around and ignore episodes about canon representation and downvote them and ask people to boycott episodes. How can you also not find ANYTHING but Lena interesting in a show that isn’t about Lena? So many choices, and yet.
At least this is my opinion, and seems to be the opinion of all the people who liked posts and reblogged. Again, there is a lot of stuff to talk about so the answer is chaotic, but to sum it up:
1) if you build a whole case around the fact that your fanon ship (Kara and Lena) is about representation too, about gay rights, and how much you care about it, and have spent years telling everyone else that they are racist and homophobic because they ship other things, and then you don’t even make a peep about the representation you are getting and just complain about your fanon ship, which by the way up until now involves a white, straight, woman, you are using social issues to prop a ship you like and you don’t really care that much about them outside of it. Admit from the beginning it’s about your tastes and that you just like those two women together, it’s not about a show giving you representation, and it’s fine, but you can’t have both. You can’t tell people that your fanon ship is all about representation AND if they don’t like it it’s because of homophobia, and if they like another it’s because of racism, AND simultaneously ignore everything you get that isn’t about said fanon ship.
2) the cast was attacked in the past with racist and transphobic tweets so some people, not everyone, are also motivated by them. Also really, you are telling me that all these people who like Lena but do care about social issues just happen not to like Nia, a trans woman, and not like her ship with Brainy, a man of color, and not like Alex and Kelly, and not like about the whole plot about the guy going after Nia because transphobic, there is just NOTHING interesting to talk about? Either they are using social issues to their advantage which is kinda homophobic and racist and transphobic in itself, or this is a giant coincidence, because there isn’t one of these plots that is worth a post or that won’t make them not complain about the lack of Lena in a show that has all these characters together.
3) for me it’s frustrating to get all this good stuff and then find nothing but comments about Lena in the MAIN tag, where one usually goes after an episode to talk about the episode itself. That’s how tags work in all fandoms except this one.
4) I’m white, that means that I can’t declare that tumblr deciding not to ship biracial couples in nearly every show where there is one is a matter of tastes or is a matter of racism, it’s not for me to decide, and my personal opinion is that it depends on the person but there is such a racist culture in some places that it can’t not have a role in it. And I’ve seen people of color bring up that yes, it’s about tastes too, but since I’ve also seen many others instead bring up the issue that it’s just happening too much to be a coincidence, that every single time people say a ship is platonic if one of them isn’t white, I feel like it would be racist of me to dismiss those concerns. Because it is a trend and because the racist insults thrown at actors more than once do say that while for some people it is a matter of tastes, for others it’s definitely not just that. Just going to leave this as a little example that represents that hundreds we saw in years:
*
edit: and
#Anonymous#ele answers#it's been YEARS of this which I can't sum up in one answer#so it's kinda hard to believe that they are ALL being like this without any maliciousness#and that they do care about representation that much and that their insults were in good faith#when they ignore 100% of canon representation#none of it interesting#because their fanon one isn't happening#transphobia tw#racism tw#long post for ts#long post tw#anti supercorp fandom#anti supercorp#anti supergirl fandom#pics from facepalmong-since-chernobyl
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Trans] Writer Okouchi interview from Resurrection pamphlet
Taniguchi’s interview: https://mononoke-no-ko.tumblr.com/post/182977225429/trans-director-taniguchi-interview-from-movie
--How did you work over the plan for "Code Geass: Lelouch of the Resurrection"?
Okouchi: At first the idea was to make a movie with "Geass". The so-called reboot technique which starts over the story from the beginning so that even those who haven't seen "Geass" can understand it, another route that was supposed to pick up from "Stage 26*" onward, that was written when it was broadcasted at late night slot... etc. I tried to write a few things but in the end I thought of it in a simple way; "What people want to see, isn’t it the characters' life afterwards?", and so it became a sequel.
* it’s this https://rainfall.dreamwidth.org/107694.html
--Then next, you thought about what kind of continuation you're going to write?
Okouchi: First of all, I didn't want to write about some war that is set in like, 100 years in the future, that has nothing to do with Lelouch and the others at all. To begin with, there was "Want to see the characters' life afterwards" at the root after all.
--The old characters unite and head towards the new enemy, a country named Zilkhstan. Regarding this country, how did you conceive it?
Okouchi: Because Britannia and Chinese Federations are nations that have lost once, they aren't intimidating anymore. Considering the length of one single movie, we can't afford to globe trotting. From there it's then decided to make a setting that there's this very strong country. But what is a "very strong country"? It's strange for a country to possess tremendous military power. A country that was ignored during the previous war, even. Moving from there, I came up with the idea to have Geass users as the country's head. There are two battle stages in the world of "Code Geass"; physical battle and geass battle. With this, then both characters from physical side like Suzaku and characters from geass side like C.C. can play active roles.
--Chamna and Chalio from Zilkhstan are siblings like Lelouch and Nunnally but the reverse.
Okouchi: At the time I wrote the last episode of TV series, Lelouch didn't manage to say his farewell properly to Nunnally. Nunnally also didn't manage tell Lelouch the things she wanted to tell him. They understood each other in the end, but by that time it was already too late. I thought if I got the chance to make a continuation, I wanted to settle those unsettled parts. Moving from there, to draw afresh Lelouch and Nunnally's relationship, I deliberately made the enemy the reminiscent of their past selves. Chamna loves her younger brother, but it's a wrong, one-way kind of love similar to Lelouch in the TV series. Disregarding Chalio, Chamna decides on her own what it is that he wishes. Chalio also being Chalio, "This must be what Nee-san thinks/wants. That's why I'll do my best" and strive for it on his own. Lelouch in the TV series was also like that. He says "for Nunnally", but Nunnally herself doesn't wish for it. I wanted to draw Lelouch and Nunnally using those two relationship as a mirror.
--Lelouch's driving force is always Nunnally.
Okouchi: After Lelouch was revived, where would his motivation lie? Should he fight for justice? I don’t think Lelouch is that kind of person. But, if it's for anyone who's important to him, he would go to save them right? Then, who would that be? The options that came to my mind were C.C., Nunnally, and Suzaku. Among those three, I thought it should be "go to save Nunnally" after all.
--Not the one who's made captive, Suzaku?
Okouchi: I didn't want Suzaku to become a heroine. I wanted the two to be equals, and when he learns that Lelouch is alive, I think, won't Suzaku be angry? To be Zero is, maybe, something that's supposed to be crazy hard once you try to do it. He has to wear mask all the time, and not just fighting, he would also get asked to do things he isn't good at. But, because he's Zero, he can't say he can't. Because it's a promise he made to the late Lelouch, he wouldn't throw that away, and continued to work hard at it, but if that Lelouch turned out to be alive, I think he would go "Did you trick me again?!". Even though he understands the situation, he would want to say "Then, you become Zero." These two won't be able to join forces unless this gets settled. I thought with a drama that resolves this matter, I could draw something that's just like these two, and it could also be the point of the movie.
--This work is an all-star movie through and through, but what did you pay attention to while moving the old characters?
Okouchi: I wanted to make an alliance among characters I couldn't form alliance with at the time of TV series. Like Kallen and Lloyd for example, they actually didn't have much scenes together in TV series. Others such as combination of Ougi and Cornelia, it's not anything strange for them to meet yet I never wrote a scene where they conversed with each other. "If these two people converse with each other, it's like this" "Aah, this person speaks with formal speech towards that person", I think it’s fresh and interesting. It's a part I had fun while writing and put a lot of thoughts into. "Back then they were friends/enemies, but now the position is also different huh" "they couldn't say it but they've always regretted it" "well both have been betrayed by Zero the same after all" and so on, I thought I could draw the various feelings and their one year that has passed.
--This also has been mentioned earlier, what was in your mind as you think about the way to portray Lelouch?
Okouchi: I wanted Lelouch to look undignified up until he gets resurrected. At first I wrote him to be more like a baby. With things like his meals and excrement scattered all over the place. But everyone ended up telling me "That's too much, he's supposed to be the protagonist", so I fixed it (laugh). As to why I wanted to do it, I didn't want to make him out to be someone who's living comfortably after all he's done. I wanted him to live miserable life, I wanted him to receive his punishment accordingly. Above all, I wanted Lelouch to be someone who was prepared to die at that time. If his resurrection is a scheme he included in his plan, then that resolve and smile, all will become a lie. I think that would be an act of betrayal not just towards Suzaku and the others who believed and cooperated with Lelouch, but also towards the fans, and I absolutely didn't want that.
--Such Lelouch, from Okouchi-san's perspective, what kind of person do you see him as?
Okouchi: As a friend he's annoying, but as someone you make anime with, Lelouch is wonderful.
--The standard is "someone to make anime with", I see (laugh).
Okouchi: I think it's good for anime directors to be annoying (wry smile). Taniguchi-san is exactly like that. Even if I tell him "Taniguchi-san, the flow will be good if you do it this way", he just replies "I don't like it" or "No, it goes against my aesthetics". Life can't be breathed into the work unless you reinforce your will even if you're disliked by your surrounding, a stubbornness that you yourself absolutely won't yield. For example if you make anime together with Schneizel, it may achieve commercial success, but as a work it will be buried with time.
--What if you apply that theory on "Code Geass" world?
Okouchi: Sounds like people who work with Schneizel will be happy. It seems you'll be able to get paid properly, and the workplace also looks "white". In comparison, working with Lelouch sounds tough. He says big things, but it's unclear whether it'll make money or not, and it looks "black" too... I think as a profession, it's not really something you can recommend. But the experience of having worked with him, regardless of whether it resulted in failure or success, will be the one page in your life you won't ask for exchange. What Lelouch tries to do in this movie too, the thing about thoughtlessly going to Zilkhstan with only 17 people, I think if it's Schneizel, he will probably prepare more people, or he will tell these 17 people "I've prepared this much money and military power. I’ll also prepare the after care. That's why, please do it." But Lelouch doesn't do any of that. He just goes "Sorry, just do it". Normally, you wouldn't do what he said, right. After all, you may get killed and there's no compensation either. Even so, 17 people will follow him, probably because Lelouch is charming, a moment of the life that he lived was something that is hard to get anywhere else.
--There's a considerable number of people who will follow him knowing they'll probably never come back, and they are Kallen, Suzaku and the others.
Okouchi: Up until now, Lelouch has killed people, he also lies to his allies. Honestly, he's not someone you can call a good person at all. He has no sincerity either. However, he's faithful to his own pride, and he has softer sides more than what he shows through his actions. I think because they see charm in such Lelouch, even though there are a lot of annoying sides to it, 17 people will still follow him.
--Do you think Lelouch is annoying too, Okouchi-san? (laugh)
Okouchi: Yes, very (laugh). I was always having thoughts like "Lelouch, if only you do this, you can go to the next scene without having to make preparations. Do you really hate lying to Nunnally that much?". Even if I asked Taniguchi-san, he would say of course Lelouch can't do this or that. With Lelouch and Taniguchi-san, it felt like there are two pundits. But it wasn't just limited to Lelouch. As we’ve made 50 episodes TV series, "how the characters should be" has been completed. They're supposed to be the characters that we made, but they're not just ours. They're the characters that are completed by the staff and the actors who breathe life into them, also the fans who have supported us. They already let go of our hands, and take a life of their own.
--Please tell us what you made as the point in this "Lelouch of the Resurrection" movie.
Okouchi: In addition to what I've mentioned earlier, I guess I wanted to make C.C. happy. For Lelouch's resurrection, the one who made the greatest effort, the one who was drenched in the mud the most, is C.C. after all. I didn't write every details on the script, but it's pretty tough to travel with baby-like Lelouch all the time. Of course the are things to be settled with Suzaku and Nunnally too, but I think the relationship that Lelouch left unresolved the most is his relationship with C.C. I'm not thinking to make everyone in the show happy. Some people aren't supposed to be happy, I also think there should be some unreasonableness in the world. It's just, "I want to make C.C. happy". I thought "Isn't it fine for her to get rewarded any time now" as I wrote that into the script.
--You have written "Lelouch of the Rebellion" for 10 years now. What are your thoughts at the beginning?
Okouchi: When I wrote "Lelouch of the Rebellion" for the first time, I was still young. The me from that time, standing next to Lelouch, getting angry together with the Elevens who're being stomped. I guess the me from that time had a strong inkling that I have to fight against "the upper folks" or "the powerful people". "If I don't make something that exceed my seniors' works, I won't be able to survive. I'll disappear". But 10 years have passed since then, now I can afford some allowances. If that time I was on high-school student level, now I guess it feels like I'm on 2nd or 3rd year in member-of-society level. I got to stand on my own feet economically and mentally, I learned to do my job well too. This movie is like an invitation to an alumni reunion which arrives at such time. This time, I met with Lelouch and the others on a script for the first time in awhile, and thought "So that's what you're doing now?" "You haven't changed at all, that's relieving". Then some of them take out photos from high school days, and everyone gets excited.
--It seems you want to look back on the TV series from the beginning again.
Okouchi: Now when I look back on the first episode of TV series, I think "Lelouch and the others are so young", the me who wrote it and Taniguchi-san who wrote it together with me also feel young. Staff who spent our days together in the studio, including the voice actors, it was such a young job. Fortunately for "Code Geass", many of the voice actors and animators are still active in the industry. Hence we were able to make this movie with almost the same staff lineup. It's great. At that time, I strongly felt that it was a good thing to be able to work together with this group. When I go to the preview screening and meet with everyone, it really feels like an alumni reunion. It's fun to be able to get everyone together, it really makes me happy.
82 notes
·
View notes
Note
for the ask meme (TES, obvs): 3,9, 13 (for naemon), 23!
thank you!! i wrote this all last night and i havent checked for coherency or errors so forgive me if it’s a bit scatterbrained at times (although yall should be used to incoherency coming from me ghhgfg.)
____
3.) Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?
someone said that they didn’t like serana and i was already sitting on the decision to unfollow them for other reasons and that. that was just the Final Straw.
but i think that’s it…? im so petty + impulsive (deadly combo) at times that maybe i did unfollow over a TES opinion another time but i can’t remember hgufuhfhxdfh
____
9.) Most disliked character(s)? Why?
OOF this is a hard one, ill list the ones that come to mind rn;
molag bal. needs no explanation
darren guitar or whatever his name is. im sorry to anyone who likes him but i just.. can’t. he’s so obnoxious. he was toned down in summerset, probably because different people were writing him if i had to guess but in the main and daggerfall covenant questline? awful. his goddamn womanizing jokes at every second of the day was “kim, there’s people that are dying” at its finest.literally one or two “haha ladies amirite fellow man ;)/haha ladies amirite……… lady ;)” jokes can be.. bearable albeit still annoying but there was so much more than that. or they were so obnoxiously written that it seemed to be more frequent than in actuality, either way, darren guitar? 0/10also my view of him hasnt gotten better since someone sent me a rude ask about how darren had more personality than prince naemon in-game due to me joking about how i don’t like him and then subsequently blocked me for being irritated about the rudeness of the ask + the fact that im 99% sure they were the anon that appeared in my fucking inbox defending darren guitar every single time i breathed a single word about him
i completely forgot he existed until you listed him as disliked and now i hate him even more. that fucking. bard from the bannered mare. the one that harassed carlotta until you told him to fuck off. i hate that dude. always have
abnur tharn. mildly obnoxious with some amusing lines until you find out what he did to queen ayrenn like. small dick mannimarco joke is now renounced, little man. Perish.my view on Estre is Complicated because she’s a really neat character and villain and ranks as a favorite in the latter department but from like, a moral standpoint i loathe her.also while it wasn’t like. pelidil levels of shittiness i’m not fond of how she hurt naemon– but then again……. now that i think of it, i really don’t know what’d she COULD do other than keep him in the absolute dark until he inevitably gets caught up in the Shitshow otherwise. i wouldn’t suppose naemon to be 100% willing to join in her efforts or even keep completely quiet about them if she did decide to talk to him about it or let him know; and for all we know, she could’ve planned to do so eventually in some way– but the suddenness of the AD hero’s infiltration of the veiled heritance probably ruined any semblance of a plan she could’ve had. so on second thought, even from a “naemon is a perfect being and i will protect him with my life and loathe all who hurt him” standpoint, i don’t dislike her too much. let’s just reduce estre to like.. honorable mentions on my “disliked characters” list then lmao(also “moral standpoint” as if queen ayrenn is anything close to the pinnacle of absolute morality. estre is objectively worse on that front, though, so i suppose i still stand by that)
speaking of which i really… don’t like pelidil. again, moral standpoint. and “naemon is a perfect being and i will protect him with my life and loathe all who hurt him” standpoint. otherwise, he’s a neat villain and the quest in which you cut him down was one of the more impressive quests in the game IMO, or even in the entire game series. good build-up.
this is getting too long so i’ll cut it there, that’s all the characters that come to mind rn anyways hfhgdhg
____
10.) Unpopular opinion about XXX character?
hmmmmmm
i guess if you view it in such a way, liking him is kind of unpopular– while there’s still a lot of those who even if not actively talking about him as a character, have praised his character/took his side/whatever, there’s also a good amount who don’t. not really in considering him a poorly written character, but rather from a (sorry to bring this phrase up so much so far) moral standpoint.
also, considering him in a semi-unironic “he did nothing wrong” way, which i do, is kind of unpopular– and i can understand that, in some ways. i dont think him snapping at the scene of the orrery was under his 100% control nor was anything subsequent, but there’s still the fact that he still is in an “i deserve the throne, fuck off” mindset in coldharbour, which, unless he’s STILL affected by the mantle and/or the orrery, is obviously a negative change in viewpoint compared to the “i’ll swallow my bitterness and remain loyal to my sister and the dominion, she is the rightful queen and i am just her shadow” you saw prior.
granted, i’d argue that even then, you have to consider the influence that pelidil had over him prior (as some have accurately put it before– whispered poison into his ear). especially with the fact that naemon’s quite young for an elf at… 26? around that age-range. i dont think altmer’s minds work in the way that, say, hobbits do, in that they age slower and this includes their mental capability, decision-making, etc.. (they obviously don’t) BUT, compared to an elf with more experience, there’s a bit of an… imbalance there. pelidil WAS the one who served naemon instead of the other way around so you’d figure the opposite if anything, but again, naemon = impressionable and emotionally vulnerable at the time.
anyways, got off-topic; my point was that naemon, when you consider the influence that pelidil and any other secretly heritance people that interacted with him, even when you use the fact that he still seems “corrupted” in coldharbour to frame him as bad… that ain’t it. there’s also the fact that he is being tortured, at that moment. big part of it. he PROBABLY isn’t in the right state of mind, to put it simply. but then again, i mean, one could still argue a whole “cool motive, still murder” take on it, so whatever. i dont know man ghfghduhbdfg
YIKES i rambled, holy shit. sorry. but otherwise, i dont think i have too many? there’s not much in the prince naemon…. sub-fandom, at least not enough to be able to render one opinion as unpopular compared to the next
(and i. Guess that headcanoning him as trans definitely has the potential to be unpopular. but i dont really talk about it or “enforce” it much other than off-hand comments that might imply such, drawing him with top surgery scars, etc.. so it hasn’t exactly been given any room to be considered remotely unpopular. haven’t gotten anon hate, snide comments, etc.. about any of it at all so it’s cool. but i’ve brought it up because… you know how fandoms are; if there was more to the prince naemon “fandom”, theoretically, it would be and therefore kind of IS an unpopular opinion. “does your arm hurt from reaching cassius” ok look, i just felt like i needed to provide one more unpopular opinion about naemon and i couldn’t figure out any other than that. but yes. yes, hurts a little)
____
23.) Unpopular character you love?
unpopular as in commonly disliked, or unpopular in… amount of people that like them? with the latter, it’s def naemon. i love him with all my heart gfigufhgdugdfh but then again who didn’t know that
with the former… hm. the thing is a lot of characters disliked in this fandom are disliked with good reason IMO– nevermind. almalexia. not to open any #diskhorse wounds but almalexia’s one of them ghdfhguhg jot that down
and i’ve heard some talk that veya is kind of unpopular, what with the recent summerset developments? yeah, fuck that, veya’s one of my favorites. this fandom (or. any fandom lets be real) has an awful tendency to praise any goddamn male character’s flaws or “negative” depth as redeemable character complexity and something that can be looked past, and yet, you see even REMOTELY the same amount if not more character depth in a female character and they’re hated. pointing this out is nothing new but it’s truly just…. something to behold.
and on that note im just going to renounce my prior statement of “a lot of characters disliked in this fandom are disliked with good reason” that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever said. or perhaps an addendum stating that it’s only applicable to male characters is more in order? or that it’s the opposite for male characters: liked with bad reason. or… liked with over-exaggerated reason disproportionate to the actual amount of depth, complexity, and/or likeability said character actually has, paired with hatred for female characters with the same amount of complexity. “bruh don’t you obsess over prince naemon–” Yeah And What the Fuck Of It
anyways moving on sorry i got distracted hgdfgyfgh. that’s all the characters that come to mind? disregarding characters that are unpopular in an unappreciated sort of way rather than a disliked way, i really dont have a lot
____
salty fandom (elder scrolls) opinions
14 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
small-littlefrog
R0ck3t (frogz) 🍉
badnotbad
badnotbad
josolei-blog
tired
piscessheet2
The Love of Lundsgaard 247