#because of an innocent sin committed through desperation not to separate.
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finished persona 2 innocent sin. fucking devastating.
#vi rambling#sui ment in tags.#KILLING MYSELF. HEAD IN HANDS. WHEN THE GAME IS SO GOOD AND COMPLEX#the. the. the most precious people in your life meeting you against the gods fucking will. your meeting being against the will of the world#because of an innocent sin committed through desperation not to separate.#HEARTWRENCHING. LEAVE ME ALONE#being forgotten is worse than death but if its to save everyone else i am willing. fuck it. fuck it all. their lives may be fixed now but#they dont have EACH OTHER ANYMORE. SO IS IT REALLY FIXED#well. the themes are so rich the idea of rejecting a god forefather through the founding of these precious bonds against fate. well. w#most of this cast new favorite characters of the persona series. just to say.
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My Brother's Keeper (VII)
Knives, despite it all, I do indeed pity you. You horrible creature. More than you might imagine anyone would dare.
I said some time ago that Knives has agency and Vash doesn't, and that the Eye of Michael's dogma demands sacrifice.
One lives. One dies.
When Knives tells Vash to leave humanity, it's at that very instant Vash realises the truth: that this isn't about the Plants versus humans. It was never about that, ever, and trying to dissuade Knives from continuing his descent by arguing from that premise isn't ever actually going to work.
It's about how discovering Tesla broke them in two. It broke reality, cracked the singular unit they once believed themselves to be in half, and sent each half down forever-separate paths in both space and time.
Vash, through Rem, decided he could face the future. Even despite this discovery, how apathetically cruel the world is to the innocent, the future is always ours to shape as long as we live to choose. Rem showed him that through acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the pain of the past, even if once ignorant or complicit, one could learn and heal, and therefore work to be free of it. Not perfect. Never perfect. But still better.
Nai only saw potential pain. The fear of facing the world where it could be inflicted, and of those who'd done so, consumed him. He would erase both by returning to the past, the innocence and ignorance of having never learned the frightening truth. He'd thus build a paradise, an Eden, where no sin was committed and no sinner would set foot. He alone, in his own singular perfection, was fit both to assume this task and the power - and thus the right - to fulfil it.
Since when have we been so different?/Who are you? We've become so different I don't think I even know you anymore.
Vash begins to cry because he sees now that Nai… Nai is gone. Maybe he ran for too long, or maybe the Nai he thought he knew never existed. It doesn't matter anymore. There's nothing of his brother left to love in this monster before him, who's done everything that he's done and isn't sorry and wants to keep doing it by seizing control over Vash's own body. (Even though they look more like each other now than they have since they were kids, which still absolutely ruins me.) Vash grieves his brother, his brother's love and their togetherness in the past, but he finally knows for sure that they're gone, and he must define his own identity, and move beyond them.
His declaration that he'll always run isn't about running from humanity, anymore than Knives is truly fighting for the freedom of the Plants.
Seriously, Knives isn't fighting for the freedom of the Plants. He thinks he is, because he thinks that justifies controlling their bodies and consuming their power and benefiting from their suffering, but he's reversed cause and effect. He acts and so they suffer, but he believes their suffering is what motivates his actions and not his fear and his greed for the power to destroy whatever he fears. It's circular, and it's entirely self-centred.
It's the logic not of a liberator but of the entire system of oppression.
Knives's paradise, the home to which he's so desperate to return, no longer exists. It never will again. Not for him or for Vash or for the Plants. Knives himself broke it. Knives himself ripped it out of the heavens and plunged it into the earth, shattering it, so he could reshape the pieces into something that he alone controlled. Knives will always assume control, and he won't stop if you give what he says he wants, because he won't admit or even try to understand that it's not the truth.
He wants to stop being scared and alone. He wants his brother to need him and never leave him. He wants his mother, but she's gone. (He killed her. Over and over and over again he kills her and she's still always gone and he hates her for always being gone. Why is she gone? Why didn't she stay? He asked. He gave her a choice.)
(Yet in Vash's memories and in the people he loves, Rem's spirit lives on, and always will. She still loves him, her perfect boy, even still protects him, just as she promised she would. Did you guys know Vash's coat is bulletproof? Did you guys realise Vash literally still walks around kicking ass in the protective embrace of his mother? I actually had to take a minute, when I figured it out. It made me tear up.)
I was rejected?
Let me back in! Take me back.
Knives wants to go home. To be a child again with Vash by his side. Innocent, together, in paradise. But once you've grown up, you can never really go home again. It's a fundamentally selfish desire to want everything to go back to being the same forever - what it means is that because it was good or kind for you specifically, everyone else has to conform whether it was good and kind to them or not. There's always danger in nostalgia even when it's not misplaced. It encourages destructive nihilism, malicious and ignorant apathy. If the best can only ever be behind us, there is no reason to try to go on.
Vash is not nostalgic. Vash will run, and run, and keep running. For a lifetime if he has to - and a Plant's lifetime is a long one. It's not that he hasn't made a choice, but that he'd already made it long ago: to be free of Knives, to live and to fight for independence from his brother's abusive care, and to find a way to unite humans and Plants, the purpose he's been eager and happy to serve since the day he found it. Rem's dream is one he longs to fulfil, and he finally knows he has the power, intelligence, resilience, strength and above all, the right to take up that task.
He's just acknowledged and accepted that it's not also his purpose to help his stupid brother, not if this is all he gets in response. Dismissed, ignored, insulted, his grief and compassion mocked; abused, put down, smothered, injured, rendered permanently disabled, scarred, violated, traumatised. Forced into the shape that Knives imagines he should be in, pieces cut away until he fits the image in his brother's head.
It's very sad that after all that Knives has done to him, Vash doesn't value his own life and wellbeing enough to care for himself as much as he cares for everyone else in the world. But it still beats Knives trying to do it for him. He's so bad at it.
In the past, on occasions such as this, when Vash demonstrated like... the capacity to sort of almost disagree, Knives would yell at him suddenly and loudly enough that Vash would freeze up in terror, and then Knives would do whatever he wanted regardless. My man isn't good at hearing the word "no". If yelling or insults failed, he'd do something physically violent. I've seen a lot of takes on how funny and/or gay it is that Vash's reaction to Wolfwood grabbing his lapels and threatening to torture him to death is... this.
But understand that when Vash suggests an alternative that doesn't involve mass murder, his brother tends not to agree to it. Or stop at threats. Vash's arguments with Knives always make Vash sound a bit pathetic and dumb because Knives doesn't actually engage Vash - he shuts him down or insults him, telling him he's too weak and stupid to even speak. He has no respect at all for Vash's opinions, abilities, or as a person - honestly, I wouldn't treat an animal this way.
When someone finally respects your beliefs and abilities after they've been coldly or violently dismissed so many times, that's… how it feels.
Knives assumed that Vash had no powers so he was weak, and then when Vash did demonstrate powers, that Vash was weak because he was frightened of them. As usual, the trauma he's inflicted maybe being the problem never entered his mind; it's always Vash's fault. When Vash finally has both power and the will to assert control of it, he finally has the capacity and strength to enforce his refusal. And that leaves Knives finally exhausted of any means to break his will.
Except one. One final choice.
Vash is right: the plan has failed and this is over. Knives can never again have the power he desires, and what's more, Vash would rather be shot at for another hundred years than be together with his brother in paradise.
In spite of everything Knives has done to destroy it, the independent identity of Vash the Stampede yet survives. And so.
One lives.
One dies.
Nai is dead.
There's no turning back.
(The stars are falling down.)
And no one ever really goes home.
If you want to tell me Stampede is a poor quality adaptation, it's not funny and it's shallow and Vash is a loser now and there's no Milly and they're just exploiting the property and if it just hadn't been called Trigun maybe... maybe...
Maybe! You're entitled to an opinion. I'm open to the discussion. I do always try to assume good faith.
However, I'm still probably not going to agree.
And I'm done. Now I need to lie down on the floor and cry over my beautiful disaster twins. Thank you very much for reading! I encourage you to be as insane in the tags as you feel moved to be, because I crave validation.
(Extreme Lesbianism for Meryl Stryfe: Coming Soon.)
(Part I)
(Part II)
(Part III)
(Part IV)
(Part V)
(Part VI)
#trigun stampede#tristampparty#millions knives#vash the stampede#trigun meta#hundreds spoons#vash is in fact perfect#hundred spoons is a yellow-bellied baby who needs his mommy#throwing a tantrum trying to blow everything up#maybe if he'd tried the ramen in july he'd be less on fire#TOO LATE NOW#loser#i cherish them both#full disclosure the shot where knives is launched through the rem-plant-thing's face is only there because it makes me giggle#on a scale of millions knives to one how graceful are you in defeat#meta: my brother's keeper
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Good Omens breaking my heart in more ways than one...of course the futile attempt at communication, the desperation of the kiss, the agony of separation...but also in Crowley's loss of innocence, mirroring those of us who also asked too many questions.
Crowley before his fall shatters the heart because it was me, it was any of us who once believed, committed to one faith or another but then questioned. That glee, that exuberant enthusiasm to be part of something greater than myself, doing my part. Crowley creating stars on behalf of god, me serving god with naive, selfless abandon.
But then, like Crowley, too may questions asked. I wondered about that which was not to be questioned. Left the path. Lonely on the outside. Cynicism set in. Seeing the world differently, seeing a world in which god/heaven is not all good...
And Crowley, delicately showing Aziraphale how toxic heaven can be…as we may want to show those still entrenched in the toxicity of fanatical beliefs but cannot bear the destruction of their innocence, their optimism. Crowley, watching Aziraphale realize the horror of God intending to kill Job’s children with no compunction. And the internal torture experienced by Aziraphale after telling a beneficial lie, reminiscent of minor infractions seen as grievous sins. The good act irrelevant as going against God is the greater sin for the faithful.
Crowley can see right through the Metatron, aware of his evil schemes which does not sit well with the Metatron. Like any religious/cult leader, he needs to make sure he still has his grasp on Aziraphale. And all Crowley can do is watch in pain. He cannot force Aziraphale to see. It must happen in its own time...
#leaving cult#good omens 2#crowley#aziraphale#religious trauma#religious abuse#deconstruction#spiritual abuse#ex hare krishna#ex religious#ex evangelical#ex cult
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Obviously the Falcon show should've shown Bucky coming terms with the fact that he should write his OWN name in his book of victims.
It should have been made visually clear by the end of the series that he doesnt have to apologize for heinous crimes committed by Hydra hijacking his body and obliterating his bodily autonomy to incomprehensible levels, easentially using him like a criminal pump n dump. Every new assignment, new agonizing training, new puppetry, another violent rape of his body and mind.
Bucky is not at all even akin to say Tony Stark, who suffered immense guilt during the entire Infinity Saga regarding his former life as a weapons dealer. Tony's (valid) guilt resulted in a compulsive desire to protect the earth, ultimately ending in his voluntary death. Tony is time and again shown as a tortured hero despite his initial complacency in his morally bereft actions. Bucky gets no such luck- even though Bucky, in his former life, committed no such atrocities and in fact was likely one of the most heroic pre-superhero normals in the MCU.
Bucky was a well-liked, smart, athletic, happy boy who cast aside any manner of social expectation to throw in his lot, time, and energy, again and again, with chronically ill, disabled, social menace Steve Rogers. Bucky canonically nursed Steve's injuries, was his stalwart companion through all life's difficulties (his illnesses, his mother's death, Steve's psychological inferiority complex and mental anguish resulting from his social standing) and the Crash, and mostly importantly, Bucky did not want to go to war.
He was drafted (something that seemingly would have been key to bring up in Falcon re: his lifetime as an unwilling soldier). And, emotionally, Bucky ardently tried to dissuade Steve from joining the army, for fear he'd lose him. Despite not wanting to fight and being tortured, Bucky stayed in the military post-rescue from Azzano because he could not fathom leaving Steve. He planted his feet in a burning building shouting "No! not without you!" refusing to leave without Steve even after his rescue from months of torture. Til the end of the line, regardless of what happened to him.
For the next three entire films we see the frankly epic level of value Steve places on Bucky's devoted companionship. How desperately Steve valued Bucky's goodness and innocence (even above his own life, reputation, and safety).
Bucky doesn't have to cross out names he feels guilty about as if atoning for his own sins - and while the thought behind this narrative choice may have been to depict some semblance of retribution, this notion would have been much better expressed in another way. Such as: members of the public or others who were vicitmized in some horrible manner (domestic abuse, sexual abuse, scapegoats, other victims of Hydra etc) coming to Bucky instead to comfort him, welcoming him into a group designed to alieviate this solitary mental burden, or at least comiserate in some manner. Showing him he was not alone and who, exactly, he could be fighting for should he ever choose to fight again. The voiceless and disregarded, who only have Bucky who understands.
Also (though it seems to have engendered some faction of fandom vitriol), the removal of Bucky's arm during battle deserves consideration. This visual act was obviously narratively intended to show the unmatched prowess of the Dora Milaje and the justifiable premeditated cautiousness of Wakanda re: the generous rehabilitation of a dangerous mass weapon.
Though, it has the double-edged effect of showing how Bucky is still not an agent of his own bodily autonomy. His mental and physical freedom, his very ability to do his job and make his own choices therein, is still under the jurisdiction of someone else. His disability is his opposition's advantage (whether well-intentioned or not). Essentially, he is mistrusted. And it doesn't matter how much therapy he goes to, how much he atones for his "sins", his mind is still considered not to be fully and truly his. This is one of the most injurious of all things Bucky suffers - even those who rehabilitate him doubt the complete success of his healing. Therefore, his entire arc in the series is at best questionable simply with that alone.
His entire arc should clearly have been reframed to display his victimhood, and how the fact that he is mistrusted is also another burden and misfortune that he can work through and call others out for, instead of absorbing the guilt for that too.
Falcon does a poor job of showing how this "Bucky can't be trusted" mindset is highly injurious to his status as a victim, while mostly asserting it is a byproduct of his (alleged) villainy. It does not separate "alleged villainy" and "propensity for villainous actions as result of the abuse his suffered for 70 years". Instead of clarification on this for the viewers and Bucky himself we are, among other things, posed with the question - is the Winter Soldier still in Bucky?
Right there, you know the show was not intended to show much closure for the character, but rather wring-out, refresh, and even retroactively assert his alleged villainy over his victimhood in anticipation of perhaps his own solo series (where the Soldat is reactivated). Yet, we are also oddly simutaneously expected to accept that Bucky is "healing" somehow, although we never witness anything truly happen him, internally, to suggest this.
Bucky plays an almost angry motherly role to Sam at the start of the series, initially chastising him for not accepting responsibility. Bucky sees himself as the protector of Steve's legacy, and is disappointed in Sam's (later he learns, complicated) reluctance to wield the shield.
In the end, Bucky is approving of Sam and proud of his rise to the Cpt America mantle in that same manner - bookended with approval from a distance where he almost, again, stands off to the side as a proud mother. He seems to see himself as a mentor in Sam's journey towards self-actualization. Why is he so happy Sam has become the hero he always was inside?
His newfound friendship and respect for Sam as his own hero, of course. However, it is also his love of Steve which is the next obvious answer, his deep pride in who Steve was and what he accomplished, but this is inferred and never said - thus taking away again, from an oppotunity for Bucky's emotional growth and healing. The writers didn't even know where Steve was (or if Bucky knows his whereabouts) but they could have indicated something to that effect.
Once Sam has embraced Cap, the series ends. However, despite the jubilant setting of the finale, Bucky is still narrartively unmoored. We are left with the image of him lighthearted and hopeful, but without much substance towards its sustainability and so there is not much satisfaction in it despite the sweetness of its visual impact. But its depth? We are unsure. This is because Sam's ultimate advice to him, that he "serve" others rather than enact vengeance, strips away another truth about Bucky's situation.
That Bucky's desire for retribution and vengeance against those that abused and tormented him is valid and a real victim response. Bucky's perspective is seen as "wrong" instead of a well-documented step stone on the path to solid mental survivorship. Bucky could eventually want to serve -- but serve who?
Again, obviously the answer is: other victims like himself. But the show won't call him a victim at all, and thus Sam's advice feels hollow (serve... the vague and faceless Greater Good?) and Bucky's emotional security at the end of the show feels as if it lacks substance and permanance for the audience.
The payoff for Bucky's healing is almost nonexistent because no one will ever say why he was hurt in the first place (a victim).
Could go on and on about how this is because of Disney's terror of Bucky's perceived compromised masculinity (victimhood, captured, mentally damaged in WWII and present day), visual femininity (hair, slapped by men for insubordination, physically touched and moved against his will, soft spokeness, powerlessness in the narrarive), queer subtext (Steve, his origin as Arnold Roth Steve's gay jewish best friend, perceived jealousy of Peggy, intense affection for Steve), his juxtaposition to Steve and role in Steve's narrative, and their desire to wipe his slate clean with a new Masc Bucky.
Hint: it doesn't work.
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“Let’s talk!”
In this post, I’d like to examine why the words chosen to sway and stop Eren in chapter 133 didn’t resonate with some readers, as well as with Eren.
Disclaimer #1: This isn’t a justification of any kind. I merely tried to look in a critical way at the individual parts, because while reading them, I felt a disconnect with what the 104th thought could get to Eren. As I read, it felt obvious that what they were saying wasn’t gonna work. So I asked myself, Is Isayama such a bad writer that all his characters say is so obviously inappropriate or ineffective, or is this on purpose? (I still don’t know the answer)
Disclaimer #2: I realize that the 104th was suddenly brought in front of “Eren”, so they were surprised, and didn’t have time to sort through their reasonings, but I’d also say they have had plenty of time before. Also, maybe the suddenness of it all was actually a good thing, so we could see how some of the characters really felt.
Let’s start with Jean:
“We’ll figure out the rest from here” and, after Eren says he won’t stop, “Why not? Are you saying you can’t trust us?!”
First of all, Eren has been feeling like he was partially* pushed to this outcome, because in 4 years they couldn’t figure out what else to do to save the island in the long term. They still cannot come up with anything better than “we will be left alone for a while”, so Jean’s words offer an empty promise. It has been established that Eren won’t settle for “a while”, he wants a “forever”. Never mind that a temporary solution would still require for Historia and her kids to be sacrificed.
*Eren also feels like it was his own fault, due to “his past self wishing for everything to disappear”. We are still not sure what this means exactly, and if it is true (I’m thinking of Paths shenanigans here).
Then, Jean talks about “trust”, particularly in comrades in arms. This is a topic that has been explored repeatedly since the beginning of the story, through Levi’s “make a choice” speeches, and Eren’s harsh experiences. Basically: when Eren decided to trust in his friends and comrades, in the forest of Giant Trees, Levi’s squad got killed, Eren captured, Levi injured. All in all, it resulted in many losses, and Eren has felt a deep guilt for that outcome ever since those events, all the way through Uprising Arc and probably even later on. No matter that it wasn’t his fault, he felt that it was. So the next time he had to decide whether to trust in himself or in his comrades, he decided to trust in himself. The story also calls back to the time he “chose wrong”, as if it wasn’t an obvious parallel already.
Eren is rewarded with his friends safe and sound.
So it is no surprise that, as much as Eren - I believe - would love to trust them, experience told him that he cannot, or the price to pay will be their lives. Eren has been entrusting the SC to find another solution to the Rumbling for 3-4 years, and in the end Marley was close to declare war on Paradis. Eren isn’t averse to trusting his comrades, he just feels like he cannot, not on this one choice. (Albeit I think he’s trusting them to do the choice of stopping him - but there is something he needs to do alone).
When it comes to Connie, I feel like bringing up Sasha’s death wasn’t the best of choices. Eren feels guilty about that. He broke down in such a helpless, desperate way, that I find it hard that Connie’s words would absolve any of that hatred and guilt he must be feeling. “We are the same” - both Eren and Reiner have acknowledged this about each other, and if it has even a bit of credibility, then no amount of apologies for not understanding them, or forgiveness for what they did, is gonna make them feel any better about the death and destruction they have both caused and feel guilty about.
It was when Reiner threw himself to the ground and refused to accept Eren’s understanding and forgiveness that Eren reiterated they are the same, after all.
Hence why Connie’s words couldn’t have had the desired effect. (Also, guys, look, the “let’s band together against a common enemy is RIGHT on this page...lol)
Now, Armin’s words.
To me, it seems like he doesn’t really know what to say. Or rather, he tried every idea that bounced in his head at that moment, without a clear strategy. He didn’t have time to form one, and besides it’s difficult to decide whether to use an objective approach or an emotional one when it comes to your best friends. But even then, I felt like the reasonings, and reasons, he brought up, failed to reach Eren in a significant manner. And by this, I don’t mean that Eren wouldn’t want to just drop everything and hug his friends... we all know he would, under normal circumstances, because there is no doubt he loves them deeply... but it seems to me he has resolved to push his own feelings down and just...move forward - which is in a direction away from his friends.
Armin starts with logic, “Eren has brought so much destruction that nobody will interfere with the Island for centuries”. Except, Armin has no proof. On the other hand, Eren has probably seen that there are still enemy forces advancing in their attack of the Rumbling, so if he were to stop the Rumbling now, they’d attack Paradis. “The island is fine now.” It isn’t. I think Armin is aware that this was a lie on his part.
Armin immediately realizes that’s not good enough, and that he’s wrong, and Eren knows, so he switches to the emotional route.
“We were wrong. We forced you to this point”. It would not resonate with Eren, because Eren is too aware of the fact that what he is doing is not because his friends never understood him. As bad as they acted toward their friend, they aren’t the cause for this war. The Rumbling exists because there are people who were ready to destroy Paradis.
This prompts Jean to bring up another elephant in the room: “Eren is doing this for our sake”…which isn’t wrong, but telling Eren he doesn’t have to do it for them just won’t make Eren stop. Eren has repeatedly stated that he wants them to live, and be free. Armin has just reminded him that if Eren stops, that freedom will be crushed, along with their lives. Eren, of course, cannot accept that.
After Eren refuses to stop, Armin gets in full desperation-mode, saying they will be forever together. This is untrue, and I am not sure Armin fully realizes in the moment (how could he not, though?), because Eren will die in 4 years, Armin in 9. Besides the more pressing matter that the island can be attacked again, if Eren stops.
Lastly, “Don’t go any futher away from us than you already have”.
This is a sentiment that Armin shares with Mikasa, since all the way back to the Clash of the Titans Arc. At the time, they thought back on how Eren was always rushing forward, leaving them behind. Mikasa’s argument, in chapter 133, also touches on this. I said “argument”, but it’s more like a confession. The chapter is called Sinners for a reason, after all.
So yeah, Mikasa.
Amongst all the ineffective argument that were brought up, Mikasa’s words are the ones that took me aback the most, honestly. I am not sure if I am interpreting this right, but she sounds like she’s okay with falling to Eren’s level, as long as she can be with him. Nothing new here, but more specifically, the worst sins Eren has committed, for example killing innocents and children, which is what Mikasa focused her horrified shock on in Liberio, she is willing to do herself. That’s how you share a burden of sins, by taking part in committing them. And that’s what she acknowledges. What she wants. She says it quietly because she seems ashamed of that. Because she wanted to be like Eren, to stay close to Eren, and to share his sins, she killed and enabled Eren. So now that she has “committed the same sins”…? She has conquered a spot next to Eren? So he should stop and come back. This seems to be her line of reasoning. This is horrifying, I understand why she didn’t have the courage to yell it.
We know that Eren’s fear is that he may have enslaved her to his will, and whether he still believes it or he has just a few doubts left, seeing Mikasa admitting to something like this, must have reminded Eren of exactly why he wants Mikasa to be separated from him. ‘Cause this isn’t healthy.
Eren surely can’t feel any better by knowing Mikasa had followed that logic - maybe unconsciously. If he tried to be firm and cruel once to get her to “abandon” him, it can only get worse.
The second part of Mikasa’s little speech isn’t any better, as far as situational context goes.
In the text, Mikasa has embodied the concept of family in regards to Eren, just as much as Armin instead embodied their childhood dream of freedom.
And sure enough, Mikasa repeats what she told Eren in Liberio: “Please come back (home)”. Well, at least the Japanese version is the same, lol.
It is (still) her wish (it seems like nothing has changed in 30 chapters). But other than that, it brings up memories of Liberio, and of Mikasa’s disappointment and pain for Eren’s actions. The fact that Mikasa is willing to forgive (or better, accept) everything just because it’s Eren, may make Eren feel like she’s still not free from his influence. He may be feeling as if he brought her to accept killing innocents as something that can be partially overlooked…And I doubt it is what he wanted.
Besides, it seems that the story wants Mikasa to learn to let go as well. If Mikasa has kept on trying to keep Eren close, and it’s now become even as explicit as saying, literally, “come back home”, that “itterasshai” at the beginning of the manga counters this need and seems to imply Mikasa (who I suppose is the girl saying that) will learn to let Eren free to “go far away from her”.
“Itterasshai”, in Japanese, is a wish for someone to be safe on their journey, whenever they go out, with the expectation that they will come back. Mikasa is soflty smiling, meaning that she is okay with Eren “going out and away”. Meanwhile, the Mikasa who costantly repeats that she wants Eren to come back, to stay close, is a Mikasa who suffers and cries.
And finally, Levi. What a lacklustre moment.
It feels like Levi believes no word can sway Eren (he isn’t wrong, but still…).
Levi has never been averse to “talking it out”. He has always mostly resorted to talking, before anything else, when it counted. With minor characters such as Dimo Reeves, but mostly with regards to Eren: when the first Levi squad was about to attack Eren, Levi tried to talk them down; whenever Eren was in doubt or set on hating himself, Levi reasoned it out with him, with heartfelt little words that hit Eren’s core at the right angle. Even when Eren was out of his mind and high on adrenaline, fear and rage on the rooftop in Shiganshina, Levi opted to try and talk to him first.
The point is, he has always tried to understand Eren so that what he ended up saying, it would help the situation or resonate with Eren, or so he hoped.
This time, he doesn’t say anything of the sort. He merely admitted, in a very roundabout and lacklustre way, if not a bit too parodic for my tastes, what everyone else has said: that he would forgive Eren if he stopped now. Which isn’t bad, per se, but it’s not even close to what Levi used to be, or how he used to approach Eren.
Where Eren’s friends have missed out on what their words could achieve, potentially, due to a mix of not understanding Eren fully, and a concoction of feelings (panic, desperation, frustration) making them spout things that had no significant influence on Eren in that moment, Levi on the other hand didn’t even try this time, even though he has always done so before.
I am not sure if it’s because of Isayama’s total disinterest in Levi’s character as of late, or if it’s due to Levi himself not caring anymore - albeit it doesn’t seem the case, because he has kept on trying to find alternatives to killing Eren, so I don’t understand why he didn’t even try...
...unless he already knew it wouldn’t have worked out how Armin&Co wanted (and here I have conspiracy theories but let’s end it here lol).
Anyway, I hope this wasn’t too boring, I just felt like breaking down the scene a bit. Let me know what you thought of the various things the characters said in Paths, and if you agree with me, or if I am the only one who was disappointed by the scene, lol!
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Mindless/Soulless ; Obsessive/Possessive (#12)
Characters: Nozaki/Nobushige ♦ Region: Ishgard ♦ Time: Present
Hosted by: @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast
Warnings: mind-break, blood, mild mention of body horror; non-canon compliant
I had a purpose. A reason for being here—now; drenched in sweat and cold frost. There had been a reason why I ran through the bitter storm and dark unfamiliar streets. Something I had been searching for. Something important.
But the moment I turned my gaze upwards into that second story window, my purpose had filtered away like treated water. My legs lost their balance and my knees hit the ground hard. All that rage and anger which led me here in the first place had been cleansed from my mind, and all that remained was a blank space. A vast, white void where my thoughts used to spiral out of control. I couldn’t think anymore—nor ration these turn of events. For in the closed window of what seemed to be a manse, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes.
And I could not bear it.
I saw my brother.
For years, I had thought about what I would do if I found him again; what it would be like. What I would do and say…how I’d run to greet him and with that one embrace, all the sins I had committed until that point would be expunged from my back. But now that it was finally happening, I couldn’t do anything at all but stare.
He was running a comb through his wetted hair…slowly and with care. Just as I would do for him when we were young. With him seated atop my lap as I wove a damaged comb through his hair gently so as to not tug on any knots. His hair had grown much longer since then. And the comb he used now was of far better quality. Every time he brushed his straight hair down, I felt more of my consciousness slip away.
My ambitions and fears, returning to dust. And then, his neatly tucked night-robe slackened over his collarbone as he set his comb down onto the vanity afore him and made to tie his hair up in a loose ponytail. The white of his silk gown nearly matched the tone of his skin—his smooth, unblemished skin. He appeared as if an angel. A winged goddess of the sky. Even when he rose to stand, his full frame now in view, I felt unworthy. I was but an ant, and he, the radiant sun.
Don’t go. Don’t go.
As he walked away from the window and my image of him began to wane, I pleaded silently for him to stay. My legs knew they could yet run—run to him and force a reunion—but it was as if my brain had willingly severed the connection binding my limbs to my will. I was kept hanging on a thread as he vanished from my sight. Hanging, and so desperately wanting. Wanting, for the noose to tighten.
Like a shotgun pushed against my head, the trigger seconds from being squeezed, he appeared before my eyes once again. A book held affectionately in his slender hands. Forgo the cold and my sub-temperature body. I was at peace. And soon, I would meet my end. As he reclaimed his seat by the window, his thumb making to turn the cover over…as his fingers trailed atop the paper inside…I heard it. The sound of a trigger popping. Bang.
His thin white gown clung tautly against his curved figure, soaking up the remnants of water post bath. The tails of his robe decorated with ornate lace befitting a queen. Nothing like the rags we had worn as children. Everything like what I envisioned him wearing whenever I laid eyes on him after a day riddled with strife and woe. He was beautiful, and I could stare forever at the way his untucked bangs curled and slid against his scaled cheeks. With each flip of the page, I found something new—something old—about him to admire. I had once protested against him wearing his hair up until I realized I could better see his smile. I had wanted him to stay wholly dependent a while longer, until I saw that the first thing he walked towards was me. I had urged against teaching him vocabulary, until I heard him call for me with his fragile, sincere voice. I had fought and fought and fought against his freedom—his separation from me—until this moment. When I was faced with how absolutely transcendent he had become.
Was I finally freed? Forgiven for all my grievances? Was it all worth it?
Bang.
----
Of course I had known. For all my life…you have been a part of it. Though we have both went our own ways and been changed during the journey, I would never have been able to forget you. My dear, older brother.
I let you watch whilst I feigned innocent ignorance to your presence. I needn’t sight to know you were there—gazing through mine window entranced. For a moment longer, I thought. For this small moment more, let us enjoy a tranquil reprieve. Let us forget the truths of our damaged worlds and become sheltered in a temporary lie. For his sake. My brother’s—the one who gave up everything and more for me.
I would smile, as my fingers traced the braille of the page I dedicated to memory knowing that this too was a lie. I was not able to read with my eyes anymore, unlike when I was a child still in his care. My lips curving upwards in a sweet fashion only because I knew he was enjoying this time. That surely, he felt at peace in watching another one of my many acts for him. I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. For him to know that he was safe…and that he would always feel this soothing bliss whenever he returned home to me.
However, this time…I was resolved to put an end to this fabricated fairy-tale. And I hoped that when I did…he would still be mine.
A voice rang out from below. One of the attendants serving at this manse. A woman’s voice, calling out into the front gardens. Demanding that the man laying half-prostrate with his head turned up leave at once. Nothing unreasonable, given the late hour…however…I lowered my head and closed my eyes in knowing farewell. It was time. Time to end this charade. To say goodbye to who I once was, once and for all. And to wish all the best to the me yet to come.
The once certain voice that resonated from the room underneath mine cried out again. This time in horror and desperation. Her screams broken and airy—begging for anyone to help her…until her voice called out no more. A pity, yes…but there would be no one person put to blame for her unfortunate suffering. She had simply been at the wrong place at the most inopportune of times. Mourning her would come later. For now, I had to prepare.
So that when he pushed through my door, he would be made to understand.
His footsteps were already roaring through the long corridors of this stone manor—climbing the stairs in rapid pace as if even gravity couldn’t halt his ascent. Mindlessly, he would barge through each door along the way, having forgotten which room he spied on from below…but fortunately enough, they were kept unoccupied.
When at last he reached the wooden door which served as meager barricade between him and I…
I…
----
Failure. Failure. Failure. I failed him. I failed him. I’m a failure.
He was—he was; he was…
That fractured bliss which had been shot through my skull only mere moments prior had ricocheted in my brain and sent bits of metallic shells shooting through my synapses. Each one becoming a word—a phrase. A torrent of impossible guilt.
It’s not—it’s not. It can’t be. It’s not possible. It can’t be.
Hurt. Wounded. Sliced—wounded. His arm, his arm, his arm.
All that blind fury had instantly subsided; all my control surrendered.
His skin—white, white, pure white. Purple? Black? A purple-black—torn apart and nearly skinless.
An animal? Monster. Beast. Man. Claw marks. Who to blame? What hurt; hurt; had hurt my brother?
Me. I did. It was all me. I did this. I. Did. This. I did. I didn’t stop them. Couldn’t stop them. Hadn’t stopped them. My brother—my little brother—had the skin of his left arm from his wrist to his elbow peeled off and and and—his chest was marked by a horrible scar. I was a failure, I was, and I couldn’t deny it anymore. I failed, I failed, I failed—
----
I…
I slowly pulled my robe back over my arms and tied it around my waist. Covering myself in beautiful white silks once more before I stepped towards my ailing brother.
I…realized that I too needed this. I needed to witness my brother’s collapse to know that…I had done the right thing.
Wrapping my arms around his shaking self, I was soon brought to my knees as his weight crumbled down atop of me.
“There, there…”
I lovingly caressed him as he squeezed me so tightly he might as well have broken my spine. But surely he came to that same realization too, as his grip waned into more incessant trembling. My fingers stroked through his short, unkempt hair as I held him against myself. His warm hands soaked with the fresh blood of the woman lying dead in the foyer. Staining my white gown in his black-red.
“Big brother…I’m here. You’re home...”
Our horns pressed up against each other, nuzzling in a reminiscent manner. This scene, although set in the present…was no different than it had been in our past. My dear brother…returning home to me after a traumatic affair which struck his very core. Falling onto me in the absence of his mind. Crying pathetically as he clung to me in desperate need of my pure, untarnished love. Whilst the latter was no longer true…what mattered was that he still saw me as such. I was not broken, so long as I viewed myself through his eyes. I was still his god.
And while I yet drew breath, I would never let him go.
#ffxivwrite2021#ffxiv rp#nobushige#nozaki#the scene in canon went quite differently however this conveys their unhealthy relationship better imo
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oh.fuck.yes (sorry btw i did an oops and deleted the actual ask buttt here it is)
so stay with me. sub ethan is bluffing. he’s always been in control. always been the one calling the shots. and he likes it that way. likes to see you shaking underneath him and seeing his massive length plunge into your wetness and you not being able to stop him. loves seeing you wrists tied up, arms above your head, desperately begging for more. he lives for that shit. but when you mention wanting to be the one holding the reigns sometime he gives you a low chuckle. it had hurt your feelings at first, his eyes squinted shut with this mocking smirk on his face. he was mocking you. literally laughing at the fact that you even asked him such a question.
“yeah we’ll see...maybe. if you can convince me. but don’t think this is gonna be a normal thing. you know who the boss is,” he pats your leg with a large hand, belittling you. bluffing. the bitch was bluffing. afraid of losing control when he’s always had it. he’d never been in the hot seat and he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle not being able to put his hands on you when and how he wanted. so his result was hurting your feelings like a dick, something he apologized for later. but you remembered. because it was so out of character for him to be rude to you of all people. but you could see it was just a crack in his shallow little box of masculinity. he didn’t wanna lose control. well. you were gonna show him just how fun not having control can be.
so you wait in the living room for ethan to come home from filming all day with gray. you’re sitting on the couch, wrapped up in one of ethan’s t-shirt’s, so big on you it drops to the middle of your thighs and comes down all the way to your elbow. it made you feel happy to have his smell always wafting around you when you walked through the house, the spandex underneath making it appropriate enough to wear in front of grayson.
you know this is the moment to finally show him what he’s missing because he’s normally so tired and irritated when he comes home from filming that he just wants to snuggle and be held and rant for a bit. it’s a lazy day after filming. he likes his lazy days too. but not tonight. you know he’s not gonna have that normal eagerness to flip you over and ram into you for hours on end. you figured you would take care of him in a different way for a change. just sit him down and go crazy, pull out all the cards and lay them on the table.
You even went as far as to go lingerie shopping with your best friend.
you sent gray a short text earlier asking him to busy himself for a little bit - knowing he would understand that he wouldn’t wanna be here for what you had planned. maybe your text would give him a hint that the surprise you planned wasn’t one he was invited to. he told you not to worry, he was going to take some pictures and go to his surfing lesson with a friend anyway, excited to have some more practice and not have ethan nagging him in his ear. it was more relaxing because he knew he wouldn’t be teased if he messed up.
when you see his reply, a smile broke out on your face. relief washed over you in a wave that this might be your shot to prove to ethan not having control can sometimes be the best thing. you know they had taken separate cars but thought maybe it was for a video idea, not that gray already had plans. you were thankful. you then flick to ethan’s name “bubba ❤️” in your phone.
you: hey bubba when you gonna be home?
bubba❤️: 30 minutes tops baby, it went a little longer than we thought but I promise we’ll get to watch that movie when I get there. And I’ll stay awake this time.
you: you better, see you in a bit. be careful. love you.
bubba ❤️: Love you too
you jump up from the couch, rushing into the bedroom and yanking open the bottom drawer to pull out the beautiful lace set you got just yesterday. It has a cover up but you know you’ll only dropped it to the floor when he walks through the door. pulling the lace up and over your body makes you feel different, like an angel about to commit a sin. it’s white and delicate, but revealing and hugs in just the right places. your hair is flowing in long waves down your back, just how he likes it. you’re twirling in front of the bathroom mirror, making sure he would like this or think it’s too much. while tugging over the coverup you decide that he will damn sure like it and want to rip it off of you within seconds. but he won’t be able to.
that’s when you hear it, the familiar rumble of the jeep pulling into the driveway and parking, a gentle purr falling into the night before shutting off completely. you ruffle your hair a bit before you determine if you’re ready and quickly run to the bottom drawer again, making sure to grab the silver handcuffs ethan loves so much. you’re trotting out into the living room to lean against the beam in the enterance of the hallway. you’re facing the door - in plain sight, right where you need to be...want to be. you don’t want to torture him for God’s sake, just make him want you so bad and get angry he can’t take matters into his own hands. you want to be the first thing he sees when he walks through that door. devil in disguise.
the keypad beeping makes your heart rate pick up, knowing he’s coming in and refusing to let self doubt creep in when you’ve spent all day preparing to prove to him he’s dead wrong about being a sub. it’s both freeing and feeling trapped all at once. it’s riveting and adrenaline shoots through you with every passing second. when he opens the door, it swinging open and closed quickly. you can hear a sigh flowing from his lips and the jingling of his keys as he places them on the hook beside the door. heavy footsteps leading to the living room. he stops dead in his track when he sees you, shocked expression evident. he is met with his angel staring at him with sensual eyes.
show time.
“Is there something going on i’m unaware of?” he sounds hesitant but excited, confused and intrigued, tired but awake.
you give him silence, he doesn’t deserve an explanation. you’re the boss tonight. you’re pushing off from the beam facing him head on, walking towards him while inching the coverup down your arms to rest on the wooden floor.
his hands are still by his sides, dangling, not knowing what to do when your waltzing over to him in a new white lingeri set. his eyes all but pop out of his skull when he sees the lace wrapping around the body that he loves so much. it’s delicate but naughty, flimsy but covering the places he wants to see. he wonders why you picked white, but fuck is he thankful because you look so damn good it in.
you stop in front of him, leaning up to give his lips a soft kiss. he has no idea what’s coming. you continue to pepper his lips with kisses, slowly pulling him backwards until you’re in the dining room, just the place you invisioned this exact situation. the chairs are sturdy and that’s exactly what you need for the act you’re about to perform on his unknowing man. his hands are on your waist, squeezing when the kiss turns hot and heavy, lips clashing - tongues teasing each other. but you can’t give in. he’s tugging off his shirt, shorts, and boxers in quick motions, throwing them to the floor carelessly. he doesn’t even notice the cuffs dangling from your hand. his bare chest affects you differently in situations like this. of course you see him bare all the time. but it’s different. especially when he’s going to be unable to use it to his advantage. he’s broad and fit, something that drives you crazy daily. but you have to admit he looks very intimidating with the dark look he’s giving you, his towering height almost making you back out.
“i think one of us is far too dressed,” he chuckles, reaching for the hem of the lace top. that’s when you turn him around quickly, having to use more force than normal from him being so big. you snap the handcuffs around his wrists while you still can, taking advantage of his shocked state. when he turns around slowly, he’s glaring at you. you know he’s angry.
this should be fun.
“sit down,” you demand, pulling out a yellow chair and raising an eyebrow at him, untying the thin tie of your lace top, letting it drop to the floor to join his other clothing. you stan bare chested in front of your half hard boyfriend, shooting daggers through you.
“wow you’re really serious ab-“
“i said sit the fuck down ethan,” you push against his chest, assertive tone going right to his dick. he never thought you ordering him around would be something that would have that affect. but something is happening he must admit.
he’s stumbling back to land right in the chair, smirking up at you. the back of the chair hits the table lightly when he sits, the force of his body dropping roughly in the chair pushed him back a bit. you know that if you get him angry enough he will snap those handcuffs like twigs, but you hope and pray he’ll let you live out your fantasy, and maybe even end up liking it.
“finally that cocky ass mouth shuts up,” you grin at him, tugging the lace bottoms down your legs and stepping out of them with a smile. he’s giving you a dangerous look, a look that reads watch yourself. but it’s too much fun.
you’re sinking to your knees before him, his head dropping down to gaze at your swollen lips from kissing. he wants to run his thumb over the reddened skin, but gets angry once again when he realizes he can’t. but that thought is erased when your tongue runs up the side of his dick, warm and wet.
he’s holding a groan in while looking at your eyes staring up at him, looking so innocent but the exact opposite as you’re dipping him inside your wet mouth and bobbing down until your nestled right against his balls. you’re playing with them a little to really get him going. he can feel your throat closing and constricting as you try not to gag. you hold yourself there for a moment, wiggling your tongue on him on the way up.
“let me hear you baby,” you utter before moving faster, finally starting to hear his little whimpers from your soft sucking. it’s a different sight you must say, seeing him all bound up and helpless. you’re bobbing your head while he tries to rock his hips into your mouth. no. you hold his hips to the yellow seat, rubbing your thumbs over his thighs to let him know you’re going to take good care of him. you notice for a second his thighs are shaking gently. the white lingeri must have worked.
“so helpless,” you hum when he twitches in your mouth, sucking a breath through his teeth and desperately trying to stop himself from giving you the satisfaction of him cumming already. it was just so hot seeing you so sure and desperate to do anything you wanted without his say. he’s gonna get you back and he knows that but it’s still very hot.
“fucking hell- if you don’t do something i’m gonna make you,” he is heaving in the chair, veins popping out in his neck, face red with determination not to cum.
“you’re gonna do what now? make me? how do you plan on doing that bubba?” you tease him, knowing he can’t do shit and loving his empty threats even more. that’s when you raise to your feet, swinging your legs on each side of his thighs, grabbing his dick and simply rubbing it between your folds, looking straight into his brown eyes while you rock on him - never slipping inside.
he’s so close to dipping inside your pussy but he can’t do shit about it and it’s driving him nuts. his head has fallen back, eyes closed, small pants coming one after the other. he’s trying to tug on the handcuffs, knowing he can break them but also knowing this is the hardest he’s been in a long time and he’s addicted to the way your hands are resting on his shoulders and the motion of your hips.
“please.” it’s quiet, almost too quiet, but you heard it. your hand comes to grab his chin and bring it to your lips, still rocking your hips slowly. you leave a gentle peck against the swollen lips, darting your tongue out to lick at his bottom lip.
“do you need somethin’ baby?” kiss after kiss against his mouth you travel down his neck until you get to the spot that drives him nuts, just by his collarbone. you discovered it a while back and it’s been your weapon ever since. gets him to do anything. kiss that spot? he’s done for.
he’s not answering, wiggling in his seat when he thinks you might slip him inside and sighing out when you don’t. it’s the anticipation that’s driving him crazy. not knowing when you’ll let him fuck you, if you’re gonna let him go, or if you’re going to sit there make him watch you ride him until he blows.
“gotta tell me if you want somethin bubba, wanna be in me?”
he never thought this shit would happen, thought you were kidding. but fucking shit he needs to feel you wrapped around him.
“ride me please,” please isn’t a word he uses a lot. but the way he says it is through his teeth and urgent, whiny and caught with a moan is unlike anything you’ve heard. he’s giving in but he doesn’t give a fuck when you nod and finally slip him inside and rock yourself all the way down.
“you liked that lingerie didn’t you? got it just for you e,” you’re whispering in his ear while bouncing up and down up and down on his length, churning your hips in circular motions on the way down. at one point your ass is near clapping when you sink down and he wants nothing more than to reach around and smack it - praise you for being such a good girl and giving him what he wants.
you can see from the look in his eye when he watches his cock disappear into you that he isn’t going to be forgiving when you release the cuffs. you know it’s gonna hurt to sit down for at least a day and your tits will be scattered with marks. it’s what you want. you’re basking in this moment, loving the whimpers that keep falling from his lips. the way his eyes flutter makes him look so relaxed, but you know he’s anything but that.
“fucking loved it,” he finally musters up the strength to answer, “looked so sexy- fuck that’s it babygirl keep- fuck keep doing that.”
you feel that familiar feeling in your stomach - warm and threatening to turn into a strong fire. you speed up your movements, hopping on his dick at this point and he’s loving every second. he’s given up the pouting game now - far too desperate to cum to care. you’re screeching at the depth he hits with every rock of your hips, hand on his check and rubbing lovingly for the naughty act you’re doing. but he is your man and you’re so thankful he’s (kind of) letting you get your way.
“faster baby just a little-yes yes yes yes...” his moans crescendo, stomach tightening, hair flopping from you slamming down so hard, table rocking behind him from the back of the chair slamming into the wood, dick twitching, so close.
“you like this don’t you? now you know how i feel,” devilish little shit just keeps moaning, nodding with no energy left to say anything anymore.
“i’m gonna cum,” he’s stuttering out, lifting his hips up, and this time you let him.
“cum with me baby, let go- yes fuck oh yesss,” you cum around him, walls fluttering when he shoots hots spurts into your pussy, head falling against your chest while he groans and bucks up some more to milk himself dry. it’s so much cum it’s dripping out from around his cock, white and creamy strands falling against the hot skin of his thigh.
your arms are wrapped around his neck, playing with his hair softly, hoping he’s not too mad at you for tricking him. but he asked for it for mocking you.
you wait for him to catch his breath and raise his head to look at you. you know he just had a hard climax, one of the hardest you’ve seen him have. you’re expecting him to look tired from how hard he busted in you but you’re gasping when he looks you dead in the eye with a smirk.
“you’re so fucked.”
#e!concepts#asks#so long for what#sorry about this#and for the horrible writing#hope i satisfied your ask
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The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 17: MJ is LYING to Peter (when she knows she shouldn’t)
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One of the most egregious elements to AMJ is the incredible casualness in which the story treats MJ lying to Peter. In this post I will unpack just why this is seriously out of character.
Let’s be clear. Lying to your partner is in general just not a great thing to do, especially when you’ve only recently gotten back together. Lying to your partner about potential risks to your safety, other people’s safety and crimes that have been/are being committed, really, really not a great thing to do; and that’s when your partner’s job isn’t fighting crime.
Now in fairness MJ has lied to Peter about various things over the years. However these occasions (to my recollection anyway) have rarely included Mary Jane withholding information about out-and-out criminal activities from Peter. As I’ve exhaustively demonstrated, Mary Jane understands Peter’s ‘original sin’ and shares his sense of justice.
There were two notable exceptions though, the first occurring in ASM #286.
To fill the vacuum left by the departure of the Kingpin NYC’s mobsters engaged in a humungous gang war. The war involved various costumed types including Hammerhead, Jack Lantern, the Hobgoblin, Daredevil, the Falcon, the Punisher and of course Spider-Man.
Physically and mentally exhausted from putting out fires throughout the city (as well as his recent tussle with the Punisher), Peter returned to his apartment where Mary Jane helped him somewhat recover. As he slept Lance Bannon dropped by, intending to pass on a hot tip about a major gang meet that was to happen that night.
MJ took the message but out of concern for Peter deliberately chose to not tell him about the meeting.
The meeting turned violent causing a distraught MJ to finally tell Peter about it. She was horrified by the extreme violence and placed the blame squarely upon herself.
At the end of the story an even more exhausted Peter once again returned to his apartment. MJ admitted that whilst she was frightened for his safety she also acknowledged that his heroic acts were wonderful. However as Peter collapses on the coach MJ tries to point out to him one person who did in fact die in the incident, a young rookie cop.
This incident, being unique even amidst MJ’s unique life, would stick out in her memory.
It’s a huge lesson for MJ about the horrible consequences of lying to him about potential criminal activities. Noticeably in this situation MJ knew criminals were simply going to meet up and talk to one another, which isn’t (to my knowledge) actually a crime unto itself. And yet in AMJ #1 Mysterio and his crew collectively are actively committing various crimes (evading the law, identity theft, fraud, etc.) but MJ still lies about them.
The other example where MJ lying had horrible consequences is admittedly much more contentious. During Howard Mackie and John Byrne’s run on both ASM v2 and Peter Parker: Spider-Man v2 they initiated two subplots regarding Peter and MJ lying to one another. In Peter’s case he lied to Mary Jane about resuming his role as Spider-Man following his seemingly permanent retirement.
In MJ’s case she lied to Peter about a mysterious stalker who had begun making threatening phone calls to her. The stalker aggressively professed ownership of her and also threatened Peter. MJ presumed (for some reason?????) that the stalker was one of Peter’s enemies and thus kept him in the dark in order to protect him and maintain the normal life she believed they had. I admit this doesn’t make much sense but that’s a discussion for another time.
These lies (from both parties) majorly contributed to a creating a big schism in Peter and MJ’s marriage. They also, obviously, harmed MJ’s mental and emotional health through scaring and upsetting her, rendering her terrified of the phone.
MJ’s upset and horror at the situation escalated when her stalker went from threatening phone calls to invading her workplace to leave similarly threatening written messages.
This was very quickly followed by more violent acts like the stalker triggering explosions in the road where MJ’s limo was driving. It is implied several cars are totalled in the explosions, potentially injuring or killing innocent people and leaving MJ’s friend Jill Stacy scared and potentially mentally traumatised.
By this time Peter and MJ had��independently learned they were deceiving one another. Peter rescued MJ from the stalker’s attack prompting the couple to briefly argue over their deceptions. It was clear that during this argument they held one another in poor favour for never fessing up, further damaging their marriage.
Not long after MJ’s stalker escalated things again, this time by causing various bombings near MJ’s home and around the city. He even publicly announced he was doing it to ‘have’ Mary Jane and that more attacks would follow. The situation became so serious that the authorities became involved and confirmed that there were innocent casualties resulting from the bombings.
The stalker was so extreme though he even attacked the police station MJ was being kept at for her safety, injuring yet more people and prompting MJ to flee for her life.
Unbeknownst to her, the stalker, posing as a cab driver, picked her up. MJ realized the truth when the stalker took her to the Bugle and locked the doors. Revealing another bomb counting down, he began to ramble about ‘proving his love’ to her and made moves to touch her. MJ escaped and yelled for civilians to clear the area. She escaped just in time as the cab exploded, seemingly killing the stalker.
Obviously such an experience would be upsetting enough, but it got worse because the stalker wasn’t actually dead!
When MJ boarded a plane the stalker (posing as a civilian) drugged her, took her off the plane, then faked her death by causing the plane to explode mid-flight and murdering everyone on board.
The stalker then held Mary Jane prisoner for six months. It was implied that in that time she was confined to a singular room. Even if that wasn’t strictly speaking the case it was confirmed that in all that time MJ was totally denied human contact, the stalker not even talking to her.
She was driven to such desperation that she practically begged her captor to just speak to her. When he did she exclaimed her thanks to him in spite of the situation.
After this the stalker revealed the details of his origin, motivations and plan (which aren’t really relevant right now). These details horrified MJ, none more so than the revelation that he killed everyone on her plane and that Peter was the stalker’s real target.
When Peter showed up the stalker used his psychic abilities to place MJ into a coma, one that would’ve been permanent had he not died shortly thereafter.
MJ barely survived and was seemingly intent upon restarting her normal life. However, she was left (temporarily) traumatised by the experience. She was frightened of phones when they rang and practically had a panic attack when the door to the attic wouldn’t easily open.
In part due to this trauma MJ opted to separate from Peter, eventually heading out to L.A.
In a much later story MJ would reflect that the time they were separated was one of the worst in her life.
The entire saga of the stalker…well actually it doesn’t make sense.
For various reasons Peter and MJ simply would never have lied to one another in the first place. Even excusing this many of their actions within that context didn’t add up.
Nevertheless it provided the foundation that later (much better) Spider-Man stories built off of and nevertheless provides at least food for thought.
Those thoughts being how the experience clearly illustrated to MJ that she made a mistake in lying to Peter.
Innocent people, her friends, her family and her husband, were physically, mentally or emotionally harmed by her stalker and her 'death'. At the very least the passengers on her plane lost their lives, though other victims of the stalker’s bombings might also have died.
MJ herself suffered a shitton of harm and emerged from the events with outright PTSD.
ALL of this likely would’ve been avoided if Mary Jane had simply told Peter or the authorities about the phone calls earlier than she did.
Whilst Mysterio and his crew might not do anything as bad to her as the stalker, it’s all too possible that they could harm someone if remained unchecked. And lying to her romantic partner is a HUGE part of enabling them to remain unchecked!
Not to mention on the most basic of levels, lying to your romantic partner is 9/10 simply bad for any healthy romantic relationship. Indeed, the stalker saga illustrated that in it’s own clumsy way but its just common sense. Outside of exceptional circumstances couples should be honest with one another. Peter has to routinely lie as a matter of practicality and yet even he knows that in general it’s something that should be avoided, as evidenced by ASM #310.
I’m not saying there aren’t times where withholding the truth is ultimately the best option for everyone involved but AMJ is obviously not one of those times. There is a huge difference between MJ deciding to not mention that she was briefly tempted to sleep with another man when nothing actually happened...
…verses not telling him the guy who faked his Aunt May’s death is walking free.
One avoids awkward or hurtful feelings in a romantic relationship. One potentially seriously endangers innocent people.
There is a counterargument to all this though. Couldn’t MJ be lying out of concern for Peter?
Answer: Definitely not. But that’s a topic big enough to justify it’s own instalment.
P.S. I am aware MJ has at times lied to Peter about other things. But my point is there is a huge difference between a little white lie or a lie that is intended to not rock their marital boat (e.g. not telling him about Jason Jerome) compared to potential life and death stuff like the above or AMJ #1.
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#Amazing Mary Jane#Leah Williams#Peter Parker#Spider-Man#mjwatsonedit#mary jane watson#Mary Jane Watson Parker#MJ Watson#Mysterio#Quentin Beck
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Roy Mustang - a military man.
Hey, my lovely friend @prettywitchiusaka asked me to do a post all about my interpretation of Roy Mustang so here it is!
This post is all about the Roy presented in the 03 anime for the record. (Roy’s character is quite a bit different in Brotherhood. A little more heroic and a little less broken and a little more consumed by revenge.)
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Let’s see... Roy is part of the military. That is his most significant characteristic. Yes, the military defines him. The military is a pretty messed-up institution in the world of FMA. The country is always at war and it will slowly be revealed that there’s no good justification for it. Wars have been happening because people want to obtain the forbidden power of the Philosopher’s stone.
Roy’s arc throughout the story is all about coming to understanding how broken this system he’s dedicated to is even while his life is completely tied up in the military. All his friends and companions are his fellow soldiers and Roy is rarely ever shown wearing anything but his uniform. The military defines his life -he’s been part of it for a long time - and it is hopelessly corrupt.
The first eye-opener for Roy was the Ishval war. He sees great atrocities committed... and he participates in them, following the orders of his superiors. He’d likely believed all the lies he’d been told about his ‘enemies.’
He hates himself for it but Roy is a dutiful soldier in Ishval. (The only exception we see is helping Dr. Marcoh to escape.) We specifically see him blowing up a young boy with a gun (in a PTSD flashback) and his execution of a pair of (Amestrian) doctors. He confesses to Hughes to killing a lot of people in Ishval.
For his work, he is rapidly promoted through the military and we meet him as Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame alchemist and hero of Ishval. At first he seems like an arrogant, teasing person with a goofy side around his close subordinates. Towards Ed, he really gets under his skin with his smirking knows-everything attitude.
Secretly, Roy is filled with self-loathing and drinks and even considers killing himself. He makes a promise to himself to fix the military, aided by his closest friend Maes Hughes. Of course, Roy wants to reform the system from the inside and to achieve that he aims to become the Fuhrer - that’s his goal for the series. He feels its the only way he can justify living and making up for his sins. (Also, as he expresses to Winry later, that he wants to be in a position where he’ll never have to follow unjust orders again.)
While he may have done terrible things, he is not a bad person. At least, that’s not how others see him. He has a loyal team surrounding him who want to help him to achieve his goals. Havoc, Breda, Fuery, Falman and, of course, Riza Hawkeye. They all greatly respect him. Riza makes it very clear that she is aware of the things he’s done in Ishval and chooses to follow him anyway. She does not condemn him. Besides them, there’s also Armstrong and Hughes.
Roy tries his best to be good, to improve the world even as he’s trapped by his own demons. He’s given up his innocence to get into a high-up, influential Military position. It’s not easy for him, we really see his struggles and we’re slowly shown that, yes, the things he has done are awful and he can’t necessarily expect forgiveness.
Roy is a people person who can be very charming. He goes on lots of dates with girls and has been very good at becoming a rising threat in the military as he works his way up the chain of command. He is seen as power-hungry by many who don’t know him well. (Sheska views him this way for much of the series given his inability to open up to her when she wants to help.) These relationships are fleeting things compared to the trust of his team however.
That brings us to Edward and Alphonse. Roy’s relationship with them is quite unlike anyone else - they aren’t Military, they’re still (clever, somewhat jaded) children. While Ed does join the Military on Roy’s suggestion, he keeps it at arms length. Edward never wears a uniform and makes it very obvious that he sees joining the military as a means to an end - he’s only after the stone. The Elrics have never experienced war and Roy wishes that he could make it so they never will. To that end, he’s protective of them, keeping them in the dark about Liore and about Hughes’ death. While he’s caring, he has the inability to be very effective about it. He’s a soldier who struggles to relate to the boys.
After the Nina tragedy, and facing a crying, distraught Ed in an alley, Roy is harsh and tells Ed to just get over it and move on. This disconnect resulting from alternating between being overprotective and treating Edward like one of his men is partially why the two have a rather strained relationship throughout the series. (And why I don’t much care for a parental!Roy. It’s not that he doesn’t care but that he doesn’t care successfully.)
Their relationship is further complicated by how they’re both basically using the other for their own goals. Ed only motivation is fixing his brother and he’s joined the military for its resources so he can search for the Philosopher’s stone. Roy is sympathetic, of coursem but his discovery of the prodigy Fullmetal alchemist for the military definitely earns him some points in the eyes of the higher ups. Additionally, Ed is reporting to Mustang - he can find all about the Philosopher’s stone through Ed; he knows it is somehow connected to the military as he used an incomplete stone in Ishval. The information that Ed is seeking out is valuable to Mustang. Later, it will be Ed and Al who will tell him that the Fuhrer and his secretary are both Homunculi and that they have been causing wars purely because they have been after the stone this whole time.
In the first half of the series, Roy is motivated by guilt over his actions in Ishval. He believed he could fix things by gaining power. But things change with the death of his dearest friend Maes Hughes. It’s at that point he begins to realise how deep the corruption in the Military goes. Hughes’ research into the Ishval war led to his death. Working to slowly reform the military from the inside is starting to look more and more like a hopeless dream when it’s hiding so much evil - such as the fifth laboratory and their special ops soldiers they turned into chimeras after they started a war. (The Ishval war, naturally.)
The Fuhrer’s genial demeanour had fooled many soldiers into maybe thinking he might be what he appears to be - a kind grandfatherly sort of man who cares about the military. It’s only a closer look that shows that he’d been constantly throwing the country into pointless wars in order to gather ingredients for the stone and to cause people to lose everything and become desperate enough to seek it out. (Mustang and his team talk about it in episode 44). It is at this point that they are growing aware that the Fuhrer who they have been serving is their true enemy.
In the above scene, Riza describes how Mustang can use his destructive flame alchemy to prevent a riot breaking out. Despite Mustang’s best efforts to be a soldier who can keep the peace and protect others though, he isn’t able to prevent Liore from turning into another Ishval. He wasn’t able to protect his best friend, Hughes. Ishvalans are still being persecuted by the military. He can’t even protect the Elrics from war.
That’s why he ultimately has to give up his dreams. He wanted to become the Fuhrer to fix the military and prevent all the unjust suffering and the deaths of innocent people but his plans of reforming it from the inside are too slow and they aren’t working. Maybe they’d never work if it’s been the Homunculi ultimately pulling the strings this whole time. Whatever the case, he decides he can no longer justify his position as the dutiful soldier.
He decides instead to assassinate the Fuhrer. Yes, it’s about avenging Hughes but it’s also about justifying his own existence and doing what’s Right. Standing idly by as more wars are started would be selfish in his mind; even his dream to become the Fuhrer would have become selfish.
He and Edward cross paths once more. Edward is on his way to fight the Homunculi because he cannot stand by either. His goal of fixing himself and his brother is now secondary to stopping evil. Likewise, Mustang’s new motivation is to stop the evil corruption that plagues the country at the source.
It is only now that the two of them can come to an understanding. Right as both of them go their own separate ways to potentially face death. I like how in the above scene, Mustang initially thinks to give Ed a military salute but then changes his mind and offers him a handshake instead. A nice little symbol showing how they’re a bit closer and also how their not tied to the military anymore. (Ed goes for a handclap because he’s contrary and it lightens the mood.)
Roy’s loyal men are staging a coup for him, directly waging war against the corrupt military. Meanwhile, he and his closest companion Riza sneak over to the Fuhrer’s home alone. (I like how he’s not in his military uniform in this final fight.)
It is fitting that Roy has to face Pride at the end because he has had to let go of his pride, his dreams, to come here. Ed explicitly states that he’ll never be able to become Fuhrer if he goes through with this. His whole identity as a military man is being thrown away here and he is at peace with the thought.
The Fuhrer’s last actions involve taking an innocent child down with even as the innocent boy leads to his own defeat. It is not a perfect, bloodless victory.
Interestingly enough, it is Archer who takes out one of Mustang’s eyes. Archer operates as a foil to Mustang, a man who was jealous of Mustang’s prestige from Ishval and wanted Liore to be ‘his’ ishval. Archer is cold but clever; most people can’t stand him but he nevertheless rose to power following Hughes’ death. Yeah, a good man like Hughes gets replaced by a power-hungry snake such as Archer. While Mustang is a military man, he does not enjoy and embrace it as Archer does.
Archer was described as the ideal soldier because he is a man who likes war. His most faithful man was Kimblee (who loves to cause chaos and suffering). It’s a pretty good symbol as to how much Mustang messed up in his relationship with Ed when Edward decides to willingly turn himself over to Archer’s command rather than stick with Roy (who was being controlling). By the end of course, Archer has been turned into a crazed half-machine and he’s killed by Riza, who was defending Roy.
But in the end, when Roy has finally killed the Fuhrer and finally given up on the military that has so long defined him? When’s he severely injured?
Well, they’ve finally reversed the Ishvalan policy and the finally reforming State is actually helping them to rebuild.
Riza is closer to Roy now that they’re both out of uniform. She’s taking care of him and letting her hair down. They were always very close in the military but there was a wall between them. It seems to have dropped.
Things are still imperfect, Roy acknowledges as much. The world is beautiful for it’s imperfections, he says.
Roy? He’s happy now.
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And that concludes Roy’s arc in the series and some of my thoughts on his character. Like all characters in the show, he’s pretty defined by past tragedies. He’s one of the most complex characters I think, so I tried to keep this pretty focussed. I see him as the main character after Ed and Al so we see a lot of him in the series. His relationships between the various characters is pretty varied and I didn’t want to go into every one in depth but I hope this works as a good overview.
#fma#fma 2003#roy mustang#cheers for the request#wow this turned out long#i never expect these things to be so long#but of course it turned into some analysis of the series as a whole#or something#and I somehow failed to actually properly share my opinions#why do i always go for such a detached tone?#well you got my impression of what I thought his character arc and motivation was#my actual thoughts on him?#It's basically Oh Roy! Why are you being so mean to Ed?#Don't smirk like you're better than him!#Yeah he's far from a favourite character for me#I like the scenes where he interacts with Ed#Because Ed's in them#He and Roy have an interesting dynamic#like friends who get under each other's skin#And Ed brings so much chaos into Roy's life#Ed is a very colourful person#and I've digressed too far now#(Yes Ed's my favourite)#meta#myposts
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Trespass
Chapter Twenty-One: Blue Moon
Pairing: Hyungwon x Reader
Word Count: 2236
Summary: You would think that one would be able to trust their soulmate, be able to love them unconditionally, and know them better than yourself. But that isn’t always the case. Who was H.One, and why did the universe think you could be soulmates?
WARNINGS: Abuse/torture, swearing, mentions of dying
Trespass Masterlist
Hyungwon’s been on edge ever since he could only see black and white. The colors have come back since then, so he knew you weren’t dead. But with every passing day the colors became darker, more dull, and he was in constant pain. The throbbing never stopped, it only grew exponentially worse.
He had a lead, finally. It only took three months, but Changkyun was able to locate where Youngjae sent all those texts to you. He and a band of fifteen people were on the way there. Maybe they could find something more. It was unlikely they’d find you, but if they found another lead they’d be one step closer.
The men they had captured wouldn’t talk, and when they did, they had no idea what they were saying. Most were driven mad and killed, completely useless to the cause. It came as no surprise really, because these were men who had been captured before the kidnapping took place. YG stopped trying to stir trouble the day he took you.
Jooheon’s men weren’t very successful either. It was like he said, they all died. It didn’t take long for them to be caught, something to be expected from amateurs desperate for money. The money loss wasn’t a big deal because Jooheon got most of it back within a week after their death. It was interesting, their deaths. YG had the audacity to send their bodies back with a note. It was always something like ‘Quit trying to stir trouble’ or ‘Look how bad your men are’ and ‘I don’t have what you think I have.’ It was all bullshit.
He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t a normal house in a normal neighborhood. It seemed too innocent for the sins that were committed.
The three vans carrying everyone stopped in front of the house, and everyone piled out onto the street. It was the dead of night, and since no one was awake to see them, they didn’t care how messy they currently were. The only thing they might have had trouble with was the CCTV, but Changkyun would take care of that.
Hyungwon led the group, wasting no time in picking the lock of the front door. Once it was open, he signalled for half the men to stay with him, while the other half follow Shownu to the back.
He entered the house, finding nothing out of the ordinary. He was disappointed it was so normal. There had to be a basement, or an attic, or a secret room that had something in it. Two of his men began rummaging through the living room, while another went to let in the other half. He took the remaining three upstairs, letting them branch off into separate rooms.
He was just entering the master bedroom when Changkyun spoke in his earpiece, “Boss we’ve got trouble. The NIS is coming down the street.”
“Fuck,” Hyungwon cursed, immediately leaving the room. “It doesn’t happen to be our guys, does it?” He asked, hoping that on the off chance it was. He rounded up his men, getting them all to gather in the living room.
“No. It’s Red Rose’s dad.” Changkyun mumbled.
Hyungwon was about to lead them out through the back, but the front door burst open and in came Hyungwon’s only lawful enemy.
It took two seconds for the detective inspector to recognize who was in the room, and another second to command arrests. He walked up to Hyungwon, pointing his finger. “I’ve been chasing you for years, and of course I find you here.” He ground out.
Hyungwon didn’t say anything. In fact, he was waiting to be arrested, so he could play his trump card.
“Of course, this is where texts from my daughters stalker originated from too. I should’ve known it was you. It makes sense that you’d take her from me.” Your father accused, taking handcuffs out of his pocket. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you around her neighborhood. I’ve reviewed all the CCTV videos leading up to her disappearance, you’ve been there.”
Hyungwon had to laugh at his accusations. To him, they were so ridiculous because he knew the truth. He knew what he was doing in your neighborhood, and not once was he there to hurt you. It would seem your father was blinded by his passion to enforce the law to realize that. “How’d you find this place?” He questioned, deciding to play guilty a little longer.
“What? Did you think your texts would be untraceable?” Your father mocked.
“Yes. In fact, I know they’re untraceable.” He replied, rolling his eyes.
“Clearly they weren’t.”
“Clearly they still are. What? Do you think I’m Youngjae?” He chuckled, shaking his head.
Your father pushed him into the wall and put his hands behind his back, putting the cuffs on him.
“Evidence shows you are.”
“There is no evidence showing who I am. Although, there is a copious amount of evidence pointing to your daughter being my soulmate.” Hyungwon replied nonchalantly.
“Bullshit.” The detective replied, “Don’t think that for one second I’ll believe you.”
“If you arrest me, you won’t find her alive.” Hyungwon warned, “She’s dying, at this very second, and if you lock me up, I won’t be able to find her in time.” His voice cracked at the end. The thought of you dying...no, he wouldn’t let himself think like that. He’d get to you. He still had
time.
“Give up your attempts to trick me now. You don’t want me to add to your slew of charges.” Your dad spat, pulling Hyungwon off the wall and pushing him toward the door. “And for the record, she would’ve told us if she’s met her soulmate. When I last talked to her, she was upset because she hadn’t.”
Hyungwon through his head back in laughter, though there was no humor in it. “She didn’t tell you beca-” He stopped mid sentence, his knees buckling beneath him as his entire convulsed. The pain in his arm magnified, spreading throughout his entire body. His head throbbed while his limbs cramped. Shownu broke free of the grasp the agent had on him, one wrist cuffed while the other remained free. He ran in front of Hyungwon, blocking him from everyone’s view.
“They’re torturing her right now.” Shownu met your father’s eyes, “When he opens his eyes again, the world will be darker, and Red Rose will be one step closer to death.”
Hyungwon whimpered on the floor, unable to curl up or do anything to attempt to alleviate the pain. He was a pathetic sight to behold. Here he was, a strong leader of the mafia, on the floor crying from a pain that no one could understand.
It could’ve been funny, had the situation not been so dire. He was a powerful man -someone who didn’t let anything ruin him. That is, until he met you. You were his kryptonite; the one thing in the world that could completely destroy him. To the world, he was callous. He was cold and ruthless, incapable of showing emotions (with the exception of malice). But to you, he was soft. He was gentle and nurturing. He was able to communicate his feelings and show just how much he loved you.
“Okay, maybe he is missing his soulmate, but it ain’t my daughter,” Your father clearly did not want to accept that he really was your soulmate. He watched as Shownu reached into Hyungwon’s pocket, taking out his cell phone. “The universe wouldn’t pair my angel with such a monster, with-”
His voice cut off when Shownu showed him Hyungwon’s lockscreen, a picture of you smiling freely as you stared up at the night sky. Shownu then unlocked the phone, and showed what the home screen was, a picture of you and him sharing a kiss. There was no denying it now. No doubt he was your soulmate, and any argument that Hyungwon didn’t love you was quickly demolished.
“You mean to tell me, that he is like that, because something is happening to my daughter? Right now?” It seemed as though your father had the wind knocked out of him.
“Yes, and H.One is the only one capable of saving her.” Shownu pocketed his friend’s phone.
“What makes him the only one capable?”
“They’re bonded. It’s as simple as that.”
Hyungwon stopped his wriggling, breathing heavily. He was terrified he’d open his eyes and see black and white. Deep down, he knew he wouldn’t, because there was still a great amount of pain in his arm, but the prospect of not seeing colors kept him from coming back into the world.
He felt himself being freed of handcuffs and sighed in relief. It was about time. He knew he had to get up now, so he slowly stood up and chanced opening his eyes. It was dark enough in the house that he couldn’t tell if there was a change in the colors or not. He was grateful for that.
“I want you to know,” Your father started, “that if it wasn’t for my daughter, you’d be dead right now.”
“I would’ve already been dead by now if it weren’t for her.” Hyungwon replied breathlessly, wiping sweat off his brow.
“We’ll need to work together on this, so in the meantime, you can refer to me as J.” Your dad held his hand out to Hyungwon.
He grasped it firmly and shook it, “I’m sure you already know, but H.One.”
This night marked an alliance, however temporary, between the two of them. Their goal was to find you, alive preferably. Together they would get closer.
A week later, Wonho came home with a package for Hyungwon.
“Hey Boss!” He called out as he walked through the front door, “You got a package! Don’t worry, I already checked if it was poisoned, or if it was an explosive.”
Hyungwon came down the stairs, confusion written all over him. “Where’d you get it?” He asked, coming to take the package out of his friend’s hands.
“Someone left it at the bar in one of the clubs.” He answered, “Don’t worry, we’re already checking the security footage to see who it was.”
“How strange…” He had a bad feeling about whatever was in this package. It didn’t seem heavy, in fact it was very lightweight, especially for the size of the box. He gently shook the box, listening to hear the contents move around. It didn’t sound terribly fragile. “I’ll open this, then let you all know what it is. Something tells me I’ll need to be alone for this.” Wonho nodded, clapping his friend on the back before walking towards the kitchen.
Hyungwon stared at the package as he walked back upstairs to his room. The only lettering on it was his code name. There was no return address, no hint as to who it was from. Once in his room, he shut the door and went about trying to find something to open the box with. He ended up finding a set of keys to use to open the package.
He took a deep breath before slowly running the key along the tape. Dread filled his stomach as the tape ripped open. Inside was a CD, sitting in the bottom left corner. He took the disk out and looked at it. Written on the disk was a date, 20180705. That was a month ago...now Hyungwon was even more hesitant to see the contents.
Still, he pulled out his laptop and slid the disk into the DVD player. It took a second for the computer to read and load the contents. Before he pressed play, he took a deep breath to prepare himself for what was on the CD. When he let the video play, his nightmares came true.
There you were, nearly naked and strapped to a table, screaming and crying. You looked so pale, so skinny, so disregarded. Even in the dim lighting he could tell you had been beaten, that you were suffering. What made it all worse was that they were using your fear of thunderstorms against you.
He watched, stunned, as you flinched and panicked at every crash of thunder, every flash of light. He ached to reach through the screen and hold onto you, to whisper reassurances and sing you songs, to rock you in his arms and kiss you so you could forget the world around you. His heart constricted, his breaths becoming shallow; he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see.
The video was two and a half hours long...they made you suffer for two and a half hours. Were they at least providing you proper medical care? Surely after being exposed to so much water nonstop you’d be susceptible to many diseases. They were caring for you. They had to be. Deep down, though, he knew that wasn’t the case. He knew they were neglecting your health. That’s why you were so skinny, why he could barely tell the difference between colors now. He had to get to you. He had to find you now. He couldn’t waste anymore time.
He slammed the laptop shut, throwing it across the room. He heard something crack, but that was the last thing on his list of concerns. He stormed out of his room, and began to form a plan. He’ll find you. Just watch.
#kpopwonderlandtag#kloversnet#mxnetwork#thekpopnetwork#monsta x#hyungwon#chae hyungwon#hyungwon x reader#changkyun#i.m#jooheon#kihyun#kpop fanfiction#minhyuk#kpop#kpop fanfic#monsta x fanfic#monsta x fanfiction#trespass#hyungwon fanfic#hyungwon fanfiction#monsta x mafia au#monsta x soulmate au#mafia au#soulmate au#hyungwon angst#angst#hyungwon fluff#fluff#monsta x angst
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Lady Macbeth
William Oldroyd’s Lady Macbeth is a film that lends itself to a variety of readings, too many of which are quite troubling to actually be able to fully endorse the film. It is these readings that make Lady Macbeth seem to not really gel with itself after starting off so promising, before devolving into a possible damnation of female sexuality. In watching Lady Macbeth, I get the sense that this is not what Oldroyd and the source material were intending to communicate - that a woman being in control of her sexuality leads to her becoming increasingly selfish and desperate to hang onto it, even if it means killing a kid - but it is the reading that most prominently sticks out in the film. Even an alternate reading - that the men’s repression of Katherine (Florence Pugh) has created a woman who merely reciprocates their viciousness because it is all she knows, given her treatment as a mere sexual object and property - does not really leave the audience with much of a warm feeling. This film would be far better off heading down a path where Katherine fights back against the patriarchy, instead of becoming somehow even more malicious once she is “liberated”. It is this troubling thematic content that proves to be the achilles heel of Lady Macbeth, in spite of the great cinematography, costume design, and acting.
With regards to the positives, Florence Pugh is a powerhouse in this role. Restrained and delivering a great emotional physical performance, Lady Macbeth’s final establishing shot of post-murder Katherine staring into the camera in a black dress is one of the more chilling moments in recent cinema, in large part due to Pugh’s chilly and dead stare into the camera. It is a spine tingling moment and one that benefits from the great visuals of the film and the great score of the moment, but that is sold through Pugh. For the entirety of the film, Pugh towers over the film, seemingly biding her time to take control over the men in her life before finally finding a chance through lover Sebastian (Cosmo Jarvis). Turning in a strong and thoroughly empowered performance, Pugh earns an early calling card in her career as an actress, one which is likely to only get better as the years go on and her star status increases.
Lady Macbeth is further successful with its visuals. Putting a premium on symmetry, costume design, and production design, Lady Macbeth is visually lush. Often capturing Katherine in the center of the frame or just keeping the camera stationary as Pugh moves about the frame, Lady Macbeth is a film that is hard to not find appealing visually. Even the more adventurous shots - such as a long-take of Katherine rushing through the surrounding territory after using a handheld camera as she ran out of the home - land quite nicely and capture the pristine setting beautifully, while being nicely framed and captured shots in their own right. The film’s costume and production design is a further success, both capturing 1860s England perfectly with great details - such as what a woman wore under her clothing - and dress designs that are both period accurate and as elegant as needed.
Where Lady Macbeth struggles is in its themes. The first half of this film seems to be going in a different direction than the second half, leading to a confusingly communicated message, which only lends itself to negative interpretations. The opening of this film is flawless. Introducing us to Katherine on her wedding day and night, the film shows the expectations put upon her shoulders by husband Alexander (Paul Hilton) and father-in-law Boris (Christopher Fairbank). Dressed by servant Anna (Naomi Ackie) and prepped to lose her virginity to her groom, Katherine is asked to strip by Alexander, which she complies with. Once her nightgown is off, Alexander goes into bed and falls asleep. A similar occurrence happens a few days later as Alexander asks her to strip and face the wall, before pleasuring himself as he stares at her. Not only does this prove to be quite degrading for Katherine, stripping her of her sexual agency and desire in favor of him fulfilling his own pleasures separately, but Alexander spreads word that Katherine is not satisfactory as a wife. Boris and other men openly discuss Alexander and Katherine’s sex life, Boris demands that Katherine stay awake in anticipation of his son’s arrival in the bedroom to be available for him that night, Boris lets Katherine know that Alexander has informed him she is not fulfilling her wifely duties, and Alexander - after a time spent away - returns to just call Katherine fatter than he remembered. It is a tragic portrayal of the strains of being a woman in this era, as not only is she forced to have her hair painfully combed and wear a suffocating girdle, but she must prepare herself for her husband on a daily basis while coping with the community knowing of their sex life. It is a humiliating way of life, and one she is damned to as Boris bought her for Alexander. These expectations are not just sexual, as we later see a Priest chastise Katherine for not being in Church recently, while her own issues with men are ones that are universal as Anna is tied up while nude and put in a sack by the me who work on Katherine’s land. It is a distressing and tragic portrayal of the cruelty of men in this era, the expectations put upon women, and the degrading way in which women were treated.
By the time Katherine fights back and kills both Boris and Alexander in favor of keeping her lover Sebastian around, the audience is with her. Boris and Alexander are disgusting, while Sebastian represents her sexual liberty and her own control of her sexuality, neither of which were possibilities with Boris and Alexander around. However, it is in these moments that Lady Macbeth begins to hint at her sociopathic tendencies. Poisoning Boris and forcing Anna to listen along with her as he dies, Katherine scars Anna so much that she becomes a mute. Later, as she bludgeons Alexander to death in the bedroom with Sebastian watching - after Katherine tried to have sex with him right in front of Alexander - the audience begins to see the hideous beast within. By the time she suffocates a small boy who was getting in the way of her sleeping with Sebastian, Katherine finally shows her true colors and Lady Macbeth becomes all the more troubling. Committing three sadistic murders - including one absolute tragedy - in the name of lust, sexual freedom, and to keep control of her own individuality, Lady Macbeth seems to equate women wanting control of their own sexuality with women being murderous savages. The more liberated she becomes, the more animalistic and depraved she becomes, turning the film into an apparent message that women she not be liberated but rather kept locked away for the use of men. While the men in the film are shown to be just as horrible, Lady Macbeth happily damns them for their sins, demonstrating no forgiveness for their horrible actions and this is fair. However, as the film turns on a dime from “Katherine fighting the patriarchy” to “Katherine murdering an innocent child”, Lady Macbeth loses the thread, turning the audience into accessories to the murderous rampage of this newly freed woman. In watching Lady Macbeth, it is not hard to imagine that director Oldroyd likely wanted to solely communicate the horrible conditions for women in the time and the lengths they had to go to in order to find themselves, but by having such horrible murders and savagery, the film winds up going the other way and demonstrates a fear of what a liberated woman could do to the men around her. Not only has she killed three men, but lover Sebastian - who was part of the group torturing Anna - is given redemption as the one with guilt and remorse over his actions, confessing to the police and trying to implicate Katherine only for Anna to be dragged down with Sebastian as the suspected killers.
It is this troubling thematic development that turns Lady Macbeth into a confused and muddled film that seems to lose sight of what it wanted to accomplish, in favor of shock value. This tale of a woman rebelling against the patriarchy that had, for so long, kept her locked away for their sexual pleasure, turns into a cautionary tale of letting women have more power. Visually terrific with a commanding lead performance by Florence Pugh, Lady Macbeth is a perfectly paced and quiet work that should be excellent, but due to confused direction, it winds up being a rather average work in the end.
#2017 movies#2010s movies#film reviews#film analysis#movie reviews#william oldroyd#florence pugh#lady macbeth#cosmo jarvis#naomi ackie#christopher fairbank#paul hilton
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Why give rika a good ending? she doesn't deserve it
Okay, anon... I understand where you’re coming from. Yes, Rika did some pretty bad, disgusting stuff in her life. However, that does not mean that she is 100% not worthy of any sort of redemption.
I’m going to probably end up doing some sort of long analysis on Rika here, so stick by me...
Note: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR THE SECRET ENDINGS IN THIS.
Rika was mentally ill. Of course, all of what she did cannot be pinned upon just that. All of the RFA members seem to hold some semblance of mental issues, but I’m going to be talking about just Rika here.
From what it sounds like, she has worked persistently through her life to improve the quality of the lives of others over her own. You can tell by some of the CGs in the game. For example, this one with Yoosung:
The thing is, her life wasn’t perfect, perhaps leading to why she wanted to help others. It is indicated that her adoptive parents end up disliking her, meaning that in terms of family, Yoosung was the only one who wanted her around. That must have been horrible, knowing that not even the parents who wished to grant her a second chance to have a family in life don’t want her, with it only being her adoptive cousin who feels as though she was worth something. That could have made her depression so much worse than it could have been if she had a proper, full family wanting to support her.
Also, to add on to this, her life becomes worse following the death of somebody important in her life: her pet dog, Sally. This is like a trigger for her, as she blames herself entirely for not letting Sally get surgery to fix her eyes, leading to Sally running out in front of a car. She must have felt like it was her own dog committing suicide just for the sake of getting happiness that could only be achieved otherwise by receiving the surgery.
This leads to (what may be coincidental, because of Sally’s blindness) V’s eyes being attacked by Rika. However, he is not innocent with this matter. I do feel sympathetic for V, and believe that he was dumb for not taking up Jumin’s offer for surgery... But he did bring this upon himself.
This is a conversation which they had in part 3 of the first section of the secret endings:
And for just in case it doesn’t load:
V: You can never hurt me, Rika. I love you more than you can ever imagine. I don’t have a single shroud of doubt in my mind. I love you, I desperately want you.
Rika: You want me when I’m like this? I’m always depressed. I have so many problems...
V: They are nothing compared to my love...
Rika: I can’t believe somebody would love me so much. V... are you real?
V: You can test me until you believe me. Even if you strangle my neck, BLIND MY EYES, and destroy my limbs... I love you. I am your sun.
V is genuinely trying to help her, but is going the complete wrong way about it in my opinion. He says that she can never hurt him, but feeling hurt is good in a natural, healthy relationship, so long as the hurt isn’t constant or permanent. He then, as I emphasised in bold, italics, and capital letters, says that Rika can blind him to prove that he is real and that his love is real. V, for god’s sake... That will not help in the slightest. He did feel as though he was doing good for her, and proving his love...
But still, in a way, that may have been another trigger for Rika in setting her off in her delusions of achieving happiness. Being able to influence V’s happiness in such a way may have made her feel she had the power to bring about happiness for all.
On top of this, this was most likely at a point after V had influenced Saeyoung into joining the intelligence agency. That meant that she had somebody else to test out her happiness ideals... Saeran Choi, a vulnerable, abused, and sickly teenager. Her promises to him for happiness through assisting her and getting his revenge on Saeyoung for leaving is what led to him becoming completely loyal to her, in turn making her feel more powerful in terms of achieving power, and making her delusions of power worse, leading to her calling herself a ‘Saviour’.
On top of that.... Rika used the RFA to assist in the creation of Mint Eye, her ‘Paradise’. Chances are, she used the lists of guests to find people who would be willing to join and support the group. This can be supported by something which V, who is aware of Rika and Mint Eye, says in the Christmas DLC to Jumin. He asks for Jumin to illegally obtain information about people who attended the first RFA party... Specifically the bank details.
He’s vague with his reasons, but I have a feeling that this is to fund Rika’s Mint Eye. I mean, the ‘medicine of salvation’ which Rika ends up with must have been created through some sort of funding, and I have a feeling that V knew that if he could get the support of those who are no longer associated to the RFA - AKA those who could tell Jumin, etc. that something is going on, he could support Rika’s paradise.
Again... Not the best thing you could’ve done, V. And even then, I think Jumin still does it for him, because of his loyalty to his friend.... V is so blinded by his love for Rika, he just wants her to be happy. I understand that feeling which V has of being so in love with somebody that I would want to do literally anything for them, but if Tobias started a cult which drugs and brainwashes people? Hell nah, I would never help him with that, I’d try to talk him out of it!
But even then... He probably knew that Rika now had the power to kill him. She has disciples at this point, people who would be willing to kill him just to make her happy. He can’t lie to her...
But anyway, I want to kind of go into Rika’s delusions of power now. As I mentioned earlier, through (most likely) Saeran and V, she feels powerful and as though she is one of the only ones who have the power to make people happy, hence her taking on the title of ‘Saviour’. She attempts to ‘save’ people, and ‘cleanse’ them from the ‘sins’ of society. As she has influence by this point, she feels more and more powerful.
She has nothing to ground her to reality.
She abandons the RFA, which V covers up at a suicide to protect the lives of the RFA. He doesn’t want them to know, he can’t afford to let them know, or else their lives would be put in danger by her pulling them into Mint Eye. But it was the RFA who grounded her to reality. People who supported and loved her, and became a second family to her who relied upon her.
Yoosung, her cousin who looked up to her. Jihyun, her lover and fiancée. Jumin, a close friend or both her and Jihyun. Zen, the rising musical actor who she had supported since he was nothing but a small name in the industry. Saeyoung, the boy she assisted in church before he became a hacker. Jaehee isn’t so closely tied to Rika, only being a part of the RFA through association to Jumin, but chances are she probably understood and empathised with the love and adoration which the others had for her.
The only way in which she could be brought back to reality...
Was being made to witness something which could only happen in reality, and not in her paradise.
V being killed by Saeran.
In her paradise, V would have remained a ‘loyal’ disciple by her side (it is indicated at times that he is simply just a mole in Mint Eye under the premise of a disciple who does as she asks to avoid his death at her hands, trying to gather information to protect the RFA), until his natural death He would have been made to stay with her as he turns blind, and have been at her every whim.
He didn’t die how she intended for him to die.
It breaks her. She doesn’t know how to react. But unfortunately, that is how she can be grounded to reality.
After this, Rika is completely silent. Even when Zen and Yoosung are watching over her, she remains mute. She’s in shock. She is too shocked and horrified to react to Jihyun dying, and her only way of reacting to that is smiling and being silent. I assume that she is smiling and happy because that’s what Jihyun wanted her to be like when she was alive. Happy.
It’s only at his funeral, where people are talking of V in a positive light, that Rika begins to speak again. She talks about the sun - what she and V called each other.
Then, of course... She was able to be sent to Alaska for a year of residential therapy by Zen and Yoosung, before she is arrested for her crimes as a cult leader. She doesn’t resist, as she likely would have done if she was still at Mint Eye.
And we can only assume, due to how the secret endings finish, that one of two things happen.
She is helped with her mental illnesses in Alaska
The therapy doesn’t help, and makes things even worse for her.
I, in my honest opinion, hope that it is number 1 which occurs.
But anyway... That’s enough of my rambling... I’ll summarise what I said here:
Rika is mentally ill.
Yoosung is her only family member who supports her, not even her adoptive parents.
Sally’s death is one of the main triggers of her worse actions, as is V’s attempts at helping the one that he loves.
She feels that, through doing her best to make V and Saeran happy, she can make everyone happy, leading to delusions of power.
Mint Eye is a result of that.
The RFA was what grounded her to reality - leaving them to work on Mint Eye completely separated her from reality.
Only one thing was possible to ground her to reality, making her see the problems in her actions - V’s death
She becomes mute, but comes across as happy - WHAT V HAD WANTED FOR HER THE WHOLE TIME.
She doesn’t resist being sent to therapy in Alaska, but it is unknown what the outcome of that is.
Aaaaaaaand... Thank you for sticking with me.
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BTS complete theory: Stigma Solo + Short Film
This whole theory is about BTS and their music videos, short films, solos, lyrics. The pictures of the boys are ALL FROM THE MUSIC VIDEOS. I do not own them.
I will only explain their meanings and connections.
(There are mentions of death, suicide etc. If you are uncomfortable with that, then I would not recommend reading this.)
I will post the explanation to each mv separately but please be careful to follow the order of the explanations because otherwise it won’t make sense at all.
Read BTS complete theory: Lie Solo + Short Film first.
Stigma:
This song expresses Tae's thoughts/emotions during the time he was still between good and evil (in RUN JAP VER he chooses the evil side but before that we often see him going back and forth between those two) But as of now, V is still in between, which is why sometimes he contradicts himself (you'll see)
I've been hiding it, I tell you something
Only so you can keep it secret
I can’t hold it in anymore
I don’t know why I couldn’t say it then
It hurt
So I really couldn’t have held it in anymore anyway
At first, he is talking about how he killed his father and had been hiding it. Until he finally tells someone because he can't hold it in anymore:
That someone being Rapmon. So those lyrics again show us that he really talked to him about killing his dad.
Now cry
It’s only that I’m very sorry towards you
Again, cry because I couldn’t protect you
...
Stop crying, tell me something
Try saying to me, who had no courage
"Why did you do that to me then"
"I’m sorry"
Okay, this might be a bit confusing now but I'll try my best:
That -Now cry- is directed towards Rapmon, because:
We know that V calls Rapmon after killing his dad to ask him for help and to tell him what he has done. And we see how Rapmon reacts – he drops the phone.
But we never really see Rapmon responding in any kind of way – we don't see him confronting V or something like that. Probably because of how devastated Rapmon is and because he doesn't know how to help him and what to do.
But V expected Rapmon to help him in some kind of way. When that help didn’t arrive, V was completely alone and the guilt and everything else started to destroy him and in the end, V committed suicide.
He felt betrayed that Rapmon didn't do anything. In his most desperate time, Rapmon hadn't helped him.
Now as said before, these lyrics are Tae's thoughts/emotions during the time he was still between good and evil. But right now, bad thoughts start to cloud his mind, thinking about how Rapmon "betrayed him". V slowly starts to resent Rapmon because he "let V down". He starts to convince himself that Rapmon is partially the reason why he drowned in guilt during his lifetime. Because Rapmon didn't stand by his side. V started to go crazy because of the guilt and the pain since he was all alone and when he had wanted help from his "brother", Rapmon didn't come. That’s why V, who's angry and disappointed, starts to resent Rapmon. (Also remember the special bonds:
)
And the fact that he allows these emotions to manipulate him into "thinking badly" shows just how desperate/devastated V is and how hard he's trying to prove his innocence by blaming someone else or just in general not accepting everything (remember in RUN JAP VER how he tried to erase/correct the bad things written on his white walls)
And because of these thoughts/emotions, he tells Namjoon to cry. In the sense of "feel guilty now since you were the one who let me down in the first place" This shows that V starts to lean towards evil. Because Rapmon isn't actually at fault. How else was he supposed to react after finding out that V had killed his dad? But V still partially blames him.
Now the thing is, Rapmon does feel guilty and thinks that he failed because it was originally his job to take care and help the boys, but with V he couldn't do anything.
(This all might sound like I interpreted too much into the whole thing but just wait there are certain things later on that all indicate what I've just written)
It’s only that I’m very sorry towards you
Again, cry because I couldn’t protect you
Now I am assuming that these two lines are from Joonie's point of view (in the sense of: he says that), because otherwise it wouldn't make sense at all. And also, they completely suit Namjoon since these two lines show that he feels guilty because he couldn't protect V.
…
(there is something that comes in between these two lyric paragraphs but I'll leave it out for now)
Stop crying, tell me something
Try saying to me, who had no courage
"Why did you do that to me then"
Just like with the -Now cry- this is also directed towards Rapmon, V tells Namjoon, who is crying (guilt etc), to stop doing so, because he wants Rapmon to answer him and tell him why he did that to him. By "Why did you do that to me then" V means the fact that Rapmon let him down. He's talking about how he didn't help him.
And Rapmon answers:
"I’m sorry"
But of course, this short exchange of words between Rapmon and V did not really occur in real life since V was already dead by then (which is why Rapmon is feeling guilty – he couldn't help V and that’s why V committed suicide.) This convo is just a way of showing that V is feeling angry/betrayed and that Rapmon is feeling guilty.
Now to the part between the Now cry and Stop crying:
Deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper
Like pieces of broken glass that I can’t reverse
Deeper, it’s just the heart that hurts every day
(You) who was punished in my stead,
You who were only delicate and fragile
In the first line, V is talking about the guilt and the suffering that he's going through, which worsens day by day and the second line indicates his father's death because: First of all, broken glass always indicates death (connected to Demian) but the reason why it's about his dad will be explained in V's short film.
That I can't reverse => he can't undo that death.
(You) who was punished in my stead,
You who were only delicate and fragile
You see, even though V believes that his innocence will be restored after death, he still thinks that death is also something like a punishment since it separates him from his loved ones (Jimin etc.) But because of what he has done, V believes that he deserves that "punishment". But apparently, that person ("you") he's talking about doesn't. Now, there are two other people who died like him. Jin and Jungkook.
Him talking about Jungkook wouldn't make sense, because in this whole story (and also in Demian) there aren't really any incidents that connect V and Jungkook in a special way. So it would be very weird if V suddenly were to talk about Jungkook.
So that only leaves Jin and that would make sense because for V, Jin is actually innocent and doesn't deserve that "punishment". Unlike himself, Jin didn't kill or harm anyone. And also, Jin was always the one who kept V from losing control when it came to his dad (is mentioned in Demian and the mvs), which makes him even more special for V. That is why V is like: I deserve that "punishment" and should be punished but you (Jin) don't deserve it.
Forget it,
what right do I have
To tell you to do this, or that
He's talking about Rapmon. Because before that he had asked Rapmon:
Stop crying, tell me something
Try saying to me, who had no courage
"Why did you do that to me then"
As said before, V acting this way and wanting Rapmon to feel guilty, shows that he's leaning towards the "evil" side (since it is not right of him to blame an innocent person who was going through a hard time because of V himself)
But now he suddenly says "Forget it" and is talking about how he "doesn't have the right" and this shows that V realises that what he's doing to Rapmon or better said - the fact that he is blaming Rapmon is not right. And this proves what I said before: V is going back and forth between good and bad. He is desperate and confused as to what he should think and feel.
I’m sorry I’m sorry
I’m sorry ma brother
Even if (I try to) hide it, or conceal it, it can’t be erased
"Are you calling me a sinner"
What more do I have to say
These lyrics are directed towards Jin (it might seem very out of context but he also mentions his sister after that). V starts apologizing for what he's done, saying that it can't be reversed no matter what. Why Jin? Because he was the one who had tried to help V the most when it comes to his father.
The only thing V can say is "Are you calling me a sinner" It's like: V actually knows that what he's done is horrible, which is why he can't fully oppose to being called a sinner. But he also can't fully accept it either. (that’s also why he tries to blame someone else, tries to erase the things written on the walls in RUN JAP VER etc, but he also apologises, saying that he can't erase it) That's why in the end all he can say is "Are you calling me a sinner" . He can't oppose to or accept being called a sinner.
I’m sorry I’m sorry
I’m sorry ma sister
Even if (I try to) hide it, or conceal it, it can’t be erased
So cry
Please dry my eyes
The fact that he mentions a sister means that the woman in his short film and also in I NEED U is not his mother (as some thought) but his sister. Just like with how he apologised to Jin, he also apologises to his sister for what he's done. V, who's drowning in guilt and regret, starts to cry, desperately wanting someone to help him and dry his eyes. I’m not okay :’)
That light, that light, please illuminate my sins
I can't undo them, the red blood is flowing
Deeper, I feel like dying every day
Please let me be punished
Please forgive me for my sins
Please
Light means good and innocent and V wants that light to illuminate his sins, so he wants to regain his innocence.
We know that your innocence can only be restored by death. (I NEED U) And V also says that he himself cannot undo his sins (red blood flowing => him killing + not being able to turn it back (keeps flowing).), meaning that the only thing that can save him is death.
And in the next line, he expresses that he wants to die because the wound keeps getting deeper and deeper. He wants to be freed from his sins that hurt him (wound getting deeper).
Now, remember what I said about the meaning of death for V?:
That's why in the end, he asks to be "punished" and freed from his sins.
But as we already know from RUN, that didn’t work out.
:’)
Short film:
His short film is about before he decided to commit suicide. During that time, V is trying to get rid of his guilt and pain by letting it out in a negative way (vandalizing or whatever – just bad stuff. Basically, he is very desperate etc.
We see V vandalizing a garage door? (i don't exactly know what it is tbh) but he is writing ABRAXAS on it.
Abraxas is a god that is both evil and good, meaning that he accepts both. In other religions, it is usually said that you have to supress your "evil desires" and try to be good only, whereas Abraxas accepts "the evil in a human" (lol im sorry if my explanation is weird but all of this is from Demian). I'll show you a paragraph from my Demian doc:
So basically, the god Abraxas is okay with everything.
Now why is V writing Abraxas?
We know that V regrets killing his dad and he wants to undo his sin to be innocent again. But V knows that it's impossible to be freed from his sins just like that. So he starts to get interested in Abraxas, the god who accepts both good and evil. In the paragraph from the book says:
(the first marked sentence is another person and the second one is another person)
But in V's case it wouldn't be only because he detested his father. It was because he was abusing his sister and him. In his case, would killing his dad, according to the person saying that (above), still count as a mistake?
Would V still be a "sinner"?
I don't think so, because he would have had a good reason to have killed his dad. It wouldn't be considered a wrongdoing/sin. (in Abraxas' eyes)
And this is the exact reason why V starts to get interested in Abraxas. He is desperate and wants to be freed from his sin. If he were to follow Abraxas, he could live a peaceful life, knowing that what he did "isn't wrong".
But we know that in the end, V still commits suicide in order to restore his innocence/be freed from his sins. Let me explain:
You see, from the point of view of someone who completely follows Abraxas, there wouldn't be a problem with killing if you have a "good" reason (since having that wouldn't make the act of doing so a mistake). For them it would just be another thing that their religion allows/that they're allowed to do.
But for someone who does not follow Abraxas, it would be considered a sin (if that person is religious). So even if you were to get interested in Abraxas (like V), it would be hard to completely get rid of the guilt. You need to be fully convinced of Abraxas' way and give up on your hopes of becoming innocent in the "eyes of the god who only accepts good" (in the sense of getting rid of your old beliefs). But even if V would try to convince himself that Abraxas' way is right, the other boys (Jimin etc) wouldn't accept it. They all would still see him as a "sinner". And that would make it even harder for him to get rid of the guilt of killing.
And that's why V didn't choose Abraxas and committed suicide. But in this short film, we only see the time he was tempted to accept Abraxas.
Also, before we move to the next scene:
Remember Blood Sweat & Tears:
For someone who is convinced of Abraxas' way, drinking from that chalice may not be a sin, but for those who do not it is.
Moving on:
Then V gets caught by the police for vandalizing stuff.
Doesn't that sound familiar?:
RUN:
Jin seeing that scene indicated V's condition in the real world. While V was doing it for fun in Jin's dream world, in real life, he was drawing Abraxas due to him killing his father.
But what about Rapmon? In RUN, we never see Rapmon vandalizing together with V. He just stands there and watches. And then, when both of them are caught, V's expression changes from this:
To this:
Let me explain:
Jin saw both V and Rapmon together. V was vandalizing stuff (graffiti) and Rapmon was standing next to him, watching him. And this was another hint for what was happening in real life. Because during that time, V was drawing/writing Abraxas in the real world (Stigma – that garage door or whatever it is) since he was getting interested in Abraxas (leaning towards the evil path). And Rapmon knew that V had sinned since V told him that he had killed his father. And he also knew that V's condition would get worse (V being desperate etc), but he still didn't go to him to help him. That’s why in that scene in RUN (so Jin's dream world), Rapmon is only watching V and not stopping him.
Now, in both videos someone gets arrested. In RUN, its V and Rapmon whereas in Stigma it’s just V. Now there was another hint in Jin’s dream world which indicated that Rapmon does not get arrested with V/is not by his side. That being V’s smile.
Because just as they were getting arrested, V was smiling and looking at Rapmon until suddenly he stopped (pictures above) and his eyes widened (in shock and realization maybe?). And that is because, in real life V had realized that Rapmon won’t be by his side anymore. That he wouldn’t help him even though he was supposed to since he was his brother. That, of course, deeply affects V in real life (Stigma lyrics) and is one of the reasons why he leans more towards the evil path (Abraxas).
And we also know that everything that had a big impact on the boys' life was indicated/hinted at in Jin's dream world.
And that is why we see that V stops smiling in Jin’s dream world.
Moving on.
The police officer asks for V’s name and he answers. Then at minute 1:19 he touches that thing with his hand and it makes a noise (that noise is important so please don’t forget)
After that, we see V running around as if he’s lost and desperate.
BTS LOST V’S PART:
This is too hard for me
Is this path right for me
Here, he is talking about Abraxas. Remember from before:
He also says, “Lost my way”, which indicates that he’s in between good and bad and doesn’t know where to go unlike how it was before Jin had died and he had killed his dad. (when Abraxas’ way wasn’t even an option for him)
(can also be seen in stigma):
I swear this whole short film is killing me on the insiDE V LOOKS SO SAD AND DESPERATE SOMEONE SAVE HIM
Then the police officer asks him about his parents:
Right after that:
V is seen getting hit => abusive dad
Now this image of that woman with her child is connected to Jhope’s short film and also to Demian. So yeah, no explanation here I am really sorry.
V is still getting hit then he answers the police officer, saying that he doesn’t have anything like that.
This is seen next.
Remember that telephone booth from RUN?
But in Stigma its locked.
Meaning that V can’t call Rapmon anymore, because even if he were to call him, Rapmon wouldn’t pick up since its locked. So, no matter how often V tries to reach for Rapmon’s help, Rapmon doesn’t hear him. He doesn’t come to help V.
Then V remembers the time he was with his father. There is a flashback to that time his father was abusing him and his sister which is why that “Why did you do that to me then” is probably directed towards his dad (in this context).
After that he starts singing and a white dog (puppy?) appears.
But first, what does that cage mean?
So basically, when V killed his dad “he wasn’t himself“ since Jin had died and in one moment he lost control (=> accident).
He is in the cage, guilty and ashamed.
Later on, we see the white puppy leaving whereas V is still locked in the cage. Now to be honest, I am not completely sure when it comes to the meaning of that dog, but I believe that it means innocence (white) and since dogs are commonly associated with companionship it could just be that. While V, who killed his dad because he lost control, is locked in the cage, his innocence and companionship leave him (dog leaving). That companionship being Rapmon (or all of the boys but Rapmon would make more sense).
Then there is another flashback and we see these scenes:
His sister getting hit. And:
Stigma:
Danger MV:
What was shown in Stigma was just a flashback, meaning that this hair scene originally happened in Danger. Since his sister getting hit is also a flashback in stigma and is connected to the hair scene, we can assume that the hitting scene also happened during Danger.
Now what does the Danger MV mean?
First of all, do you remember the reason why Jin got depression and was suicidal? It was because of a relationship => Boy meets Evil/Girl lyrics + I NEED U lyrics etc. Just like those songs, Danger is also about Jin’s relationship.
Basically, he’s talking about how that girl doesn’t love him as much as he does or how she doesn’t take their relationship as serious as he does etc (just read the lyrics), meaning that the Danger MV is during the time Jin was dating that girl and had started to feel as if it wasn’t a proper relationship. (Later on, these feelings and thoughts turn into depressive and suicidal ones tho)
The flashbacks happening in Danger mean that during the time Jin was having relationship problems, V was being abused by his dad. This is just proof that the abuse had been going on for quite some time and that the reason why V exploded and killed his dad is because of Jin’s death since it happened after he lost Jin even though, as said before, the abuse had been going on for quite some time.
Moving on:
V drops the glass bottle and then we hear glass shattering.
Now remember what i said about the lyrics of Stigma:
The fact that the glass shattering is heard right after V drops the bottle indicates his father’s death since he killed his dad with that bottle. And I know you might think it could also just mean that the glass bottle he dropped broke :‘)
But the fact that its pointed out like that (the glass breaking picture) shows that its more than just the bottle breaking since almost the same image and sound are used for the deaths of the others as well.
So this is one part of the lyrics of Whalien 52.
If you don't know what that song is about: it's a whale that calls at the frequency of 52 Hz, what apparently is very unusual since that pitch is a much higher frequency than that of other whales, meaning that no other whale can hear it. That's why people call it the World's Loneliest Whale. (If you want to know more about it then Just type in Whale 52 and that's it)
I think it's just used to kind of show that there is a little bit of a connection between that song and V since both the whale and V are pretty much alone (V doesn't have Rapmon anymore) and even in the lyrics of Whalien 52 they talk about how it's lonely and no one can hear them. Just like how V doesn't really have anyone anymore.
tHAT EXPRESSION KILLS ME
Here he asks the police officer if he can make a phone call.
And the explanation is in Rapmon's short film (so basically very soon)
V’s sign? Circle? You get me.
Next: BTS complete theory: First Love Solo + Short Film
#bts#bts scenarios#bts reactions#bts jimin#bts v#bts jungkook#bts jhope#bts rap monster#bts suga#bts jin#jimin#junhkook#taehyung#namjoon#yoongi#hoseok#jin#bts snaps#bts texts#bts theory
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epiphany | jjk
pairing: jeon jungkook + reader
genre: fluff/angst + college!au
word count: 3.6k
parts: 1 | 2 | 3
you hated his guts, especially after he ruined your chance at getting a good grade in one of your toughest classes. but why did your heart beat a little faster every time you saw him? and why did he feel the same way?
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you a failing grade, Y/N.” Mr. Ransford frowned, “You should’ve saved your work somewhere separately you know?”
Your lips parted in complete shock as you gaped at him, his words suddenly coming crushing down on you.
“B-But you don’t understand! It wasn’t my fault— ” you stammered, your hands flailing around in a frenzy as you attempted to explain your dire situation to your psychology professor.
“Y/N, I’m sorry I’m afraid we can’t discuss this right now. I have a class in 2 minutes. We’ll talk later, hm?” he said as you sighed, your shoulders slumping in utter defeat.
He patted your shoulders in sympathy as you walked out of the door, tears welling up in your eyes as you thought of all your hard work that was now flushed down the drain. All because of one boy.
That damn Jeon Jungkook.
//
“YOU!” you raged as you approached the boys, a deadly glare in your eyes. Grabbing Jungkook by the collar of his t-shirt, you pulled him up from the belachers where he and the rest of his friends were sitting. A chorus of gasps followed, mouths going agape as they witnessed their golden maknae get physically handled by you.
“Y/N~ What a pleasure,” Jungkook mused, giving you a lazy smirk.
Your blood boiled at the audacity the boy had, to address you in such a way after he had destroyed your chance at a good grade— heck a good year of college. Without thinking first, you lifted your hand and slapped him across the face, the contact shooting vibrations of pain down your arm as the noise echoed in the air. Immediate silence followed, everyone looking at the two of you with rounded eyes as Jungkook himself, was in shock.
You stood there, your chest rising up and down, breathing heavy as you glowered at him. His hands flew to his cheek as he let out a stream of curse words, his gaze landing on yours, fire kindling in his eyes as he reddened in embarrassment.
“What the FUCK Y/N?!” He raged as you pulled your hand away, surprised at your own actions but not an ounce of regret in what you did.
“Jeon Jungkook, Do you have any idea how damn hard I worked on that paper?!” you screaamed, your lips trembling as you bit your cheek from crying in front of them.
“I haven’t had proper sleep for the last 72 hours cause I’d been working on that every minute I could because I genuinely, unlike some of you—,” you glared at the rest of his friends, “—care about their damn grade and wanna actually pass their classes!”
As Jungkook shut his mouth, his face contorted into confusion as he blinked at you innocently. You scoffed at the fact he could do what he did, such a horrible thing to you and yet sit there with a guiltless look in his doe-shaped eyes.
“I don’t know what I did to you Jungkook,” you voice finally cracked, tears falling down your cheeks,“ I don’t know why you hate me so much, but even this was low. This was way low.”
Clutching your bag closer to your side, you whispered, “I can’t believe you.” before you spun around, running away before the rest of them could hear and see the sobs that racked through your petite body.
Jungkook looked after you, a conflicted look in his eyes, as he felt his heart crush into the smallest pieces in his chest.
He didn’t mean to make you cry, he didn’t realize how big of a deal it was, and by the passing second as your figure disappeared from his sight, the immense feeling of regret came crashing down as the sight of your tear stained face was imprinted in his head.
“Fuck.” he exhaled, as he hung his head down low in complete shame.
“Damn Kookie, you have her pissed! I’ve never seen Y/N that mad before!” Taehyung chortled as Hoseok laughed beside him.
Jungkook shot a glare at Taehyung, as he grunted, “Shut up hyung.”
“Why are you so upset? I thought you always messed with her—”
“But she’s never cried before! And she’s never been this mad—” Jungkook yelled as he got up from the bleachers, “A-and…And..”
“And what?” Jimin spoke up for the first time since you left, looking up at Jungkook as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“And I just, I don’t know, I think—”
“—you like her.” Jimin finished with a slight shake of his head as Jungkook shut his eyes closed tightly, yet nodding at Jimin’s words.
All the boys around Jungkook around him all let out loud groans, Namjoon started to yell at the younger for his stupidity while Yoongi sat there shaking his head at him.
Hitting the back of his head, Jin scolded, “Why would you act that way if you liked her you idiot? This isn’t no rom-com movie where things magically workout like that, stupid!”
“I–I don’t know! I just don’t know how else to talk to her without messing with her and her reactions are always so cute, her nose crinkles up and her lips turn into a pout and–”, Jungkook stammered out, “God, Hyung what am I supposed to do?” sighing into his hands in exasperation.
“Go tell Mr. Ransford first and then apologize to Y/N and see if you can fix her grade, you ass.” Jimin remarked.
Jungkook nodded and said,“ You’re right, I should probably do that—”
“You know you're going to get into big trouble for this right?” Taehyung asked.
Jungkook let out a humorless laugh, “I deserve it don’t I?”
With that, Jungkook slung his backpack across his shoulder before walking off, leaving the six boys behind as they all looked at him with mixed looks of pity, disappointment, and sympathy for him.
“Is it just me, or did he deserve that slap?” Jimin snorted, the others laughing in agreement.
//
“Y/N, are you sure you’re okay?” Seulgi asked you for the tenth time that day as you sat in the middle of your bed, your eyes dry of tears, looking absolutely lifeless.
“Yes. I’m fine,” you said monotonously, not even moving once.
Seulgi sighed and sat down in from of you, “Y/N, I know you worked really hard on this but don’t you think you should’ve saved it on your laptop too?”
Scoffing, you narrowed your eyes at her and retorted, “Kang Seulgi, are you saying what Jungkook did wasn’t his fault and was mine?!”
Shaking her head quickly as she sensed the anger rising within you, something she desperately did not want to experience ever again.
“No!! Of course, it’s his fault!! It’s just—you should’ve been more careful Y/N...” she trailed off softly, shooting you a sheepish smile.
“Ugh, whatever, just leave me alone.” you moped as you slumped back against your pillow, pointing towards the doorway, “Go have fun with your boyfriend or something.”
//
You were laying flat on your bed, mindlessly playing with the ends of your hair when your cell phone rang beside you. Not bothering to check the caller ID, you picked up, sighing into the phone.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Y/N?” your professor's voice said questioningly into the phone.
Shooting up from your bed, you responded immediately, “Yes! Yes Mr.Ransford, it’s me, Y/N!”
“Ahh yes, I was hoping I would get the right number. I just wanted to tell you that I would like to meet you tomorrow 15 mins before class starts in regards to your paper.”
Biting your lip, you thought, Is he going to let it go? Will he really not give me an F?!
“Y/N?”
“Oh! Yes! Of course Mr. Ransford! I can definitely come!!” you grinned happily on the other end at the thought of a possible chance at explaining yourself and getting a decent grade in return.
“Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yes, I’ll be there!” you gleamed as you ended the call, falling back against your bed, sighing in relief at the thought of tomorrow.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
//
Today was not any better than yesterday.
Making your way towards your Psychology class, with a hint of hope left in you, you saw Mr. Ransford talking to a student who’s back was turned to you. As you walked inside, the student turned around at the sound of you opening the door, his brown eyes meeting yours, making the rage within in you emerge again.
“What are you doing here?” you demanded, walking towards him, as he winced at your tone.
“Now Y/N…” Mr.Ransford warned as I let out a frustrated sigh and protested, “Mr. Ransford, you do know that he’s the one who ruined—sorry destroyed my flash drive that had my paper on it!”
He nodded, a frown on his face as he looked at Jungkook who stood beside you, his hands clasped together in front of him in shame.
“I’m aware of the situation, Y/N, as Jungkook here came to me yesterday and told me everything that happene—”
“Then why aren’t you doing anything?! I mean this proves it right? That I didn’t do anything wrong?!” you questioned angrily, ignoring the look of regret that plagued Jungkook’s face.
“Well in the least it is still partially at your fault as a responsible student would have it saved in several places, so in compromise, I’ve taken away both your papers for the quarter grade and am going to assign the two of you a project which will be completed in 3 weeks max,” Mr.Ransford announced, a finality in his voice.
You were at a loss for words.
You, of all people, did not deserve this. What did you do for this to happen? What sin did you commit in your past life to deserve this?
“Mr. Rans—?” you started.
“Wai—! ” Jungkook said in alarm.
“No buts the both of you. I will not have students with such hateful relationships in my class. You know how I treat all of you, like my own family. So you two are going to figure out your differences and work together for this project, and that is final.”
//
“I don’t know if you know by now, but I hate you,” you grumbled as the two of you walked out of Mr. Ransford’s class, waiting outside for the bell to ring.
He rubbed the back of his head and said slowly, “I’m sorry about your flash drive, I didn’t realize it would break—”
“Right, throwing it across the hallway against the wall would leave it completely intact,” you retorted, your voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I swear to god, Jungkook, give me back my flash drive.” you seethed as Jungkook tauntingly tossed your flash drive from his left to right hand, back and forth.
“You mean this?” he dangled in front of you, as you reached up to get it, your height being an evident problem as he was a good bit taller than you were.
“Jungkook, please...” you pleaded, really desperate at this point. You had worked so hard on this paper and if he didn’t give it back to you, you didn’t know what you’d do.
“You good at catching?” he offered as you raised your eyebrows at that, “What are you sayi—NO!”
Your flash drive flew mid-air towards you but at a distance too high for you to reach, even if you were as tall as 7 ft. You jumped as high as you could, but seconds later, you flash drive hit the wall behind you, when you heard a small crack.
You stared at your flash drive in horror, as it now was several pieces scattered on the floor.
“Shit…” a voice murmured behind you, as you turned around, the boy giving you a quick wide-eyed glance before bolting out of the scene, leaving you standing there in unregistered shock at your now destroyed flash drive.
Giving you an apologetic smile, he said, “Guess I underestimated my strength?”
“And your aim…” you muttered folding your arms against your chest as you thought of how horrible the next three weeks were going to be for you.
//
“Where are we going?” Jungkook asked as he followed you like a lost dog, while you walked on forward not even looking at him.
“My dorm room,” you stated when Jungkook chuckled nervously, “Wow Y/N…I didn’t know you were like tha—”
“Hey!” you exclaimed as you hit his shoulder, you face flushing red as you realized how provocative that had sounded.
“Man, do you have a habit of hitting people or what?” he complained, as he rubbed his shoulder where you had hit him.
“Do you have a habit of ruining peoples’ lives and destroying their grades?” you retorted back, rendering Jungkook speechless as he shut his mouth in an instant.
“I swear it was a mistake, I really didn’t mean to do—”
“Y/N! Babe!”
At the sound of the voice calling your name, you went still as Jungkook started to look back when you pulled his arm forward.
“Please don’t look back and just ignore him,” you begged in a whisper when you heard him call your name again. Jungkook complied, yet a small frown filled his face as his curiousity itched him to ask you why.
“Hey, why you ignoring me babe?” the voice asked, much closer than before, as he grabbed your arm and spun you around, a small yelp escaping your lips as you faced him.
“Dongwan! Can you please leave me alone…okay?” you pleaded, as you tried to pry his hands off of your arm.
“Y/N, why won’t you just listen to me? All I want is one date, one date to show you how good I can treat you, how good I can make you feel,” he said, giving you a lazy smirk that made you recoil in disgust.
“Well I don’t want to and I’m sorry, just go ask someone else—” you started when Dongwan sneered, “I don’t want to ask anyone else, you little b—”
“Hey, bro, can’t you get a hint when a girl isn’t interested in you?” a voice beside you piped up, as you looked at Jungkook in surprise.
Dongwan smirked, “Jeon, nice to see you sticking up for your lady friend here but I saw her first.”
Jungkook grabbed Dongwan’s hand from your arm and forcefully pried him off, shooting him a deadly glare, before saying, “Well, honestly I could care less, but you're making my lady friend uncomfortable and I don’t think I can stand that.”
Dongwan scoffed as he pulled his hand away, giving you a look of disgust before saying, “Whatever, you weren’t even worth it. It was just a bet to see how long it’d take me to get you in bed.” as he turned around, a string of curse words leaving his mouth.
You stood there, biting your lip as his words started to haunt your mind when you heard Jungkook call your name.
“Huh?” you said, looking up at him with wide eyes.
“I asked you if you were okay?” he said softly, his eyes searching your face for an answer when you nodded slightly, holding your wrist where Dongwan had held you, his tight grip leaving an aching feeling behind.
His eyes drifted down to your wrist as he gently took it in his hands, rubbing the spot where Dongwan held you, as you looked at Jungkook in bewilderment.
Was Jungkook being nice to you?
Pulling your hand away quickly, you cleared your throat and mumbled a quick thank you, before making your way to your dorm, your cheeks flared with embarrassment. Your heart was beating quicker than usual, and for some reason you decided to ignore it, not wanting to admit the truth to yourself that it was because the boy following close behind you.
//
“So what have we done so far?” he questioned, as he spun around on your chair, chewing on the end of his pencil.
“You mean what have I done so far?” you asked incredulously as he shot you a look of disbelief.
“Hey, I did some work too!” he protested, his lips jutting out in a pout, causing you to let out a small laugh as he resembled a little boy, a smile making its way on his own face.
It had almost been two weeks since the two of you had been assigned the project, and since then you’d been working on it every day, it being an exhaustive and long project that involved way too many steps and requirements.
But even through that, it surprised you how easy it was to talk to Jungkook, besides the usual bickering and arguments. You almost forgot that this was the boy who you hated with a passion and couldn’t stand just weeks ago, as he transformed into a whole new person in front of you.
“We still need to send out the surveys to people to get some data for the research,” you commented as you stood up from your bed, and walked towards your desk, leaning over his shoulder in attempts to open up your pre-made survey.
You heard him take in a sharp breath when you realized just how close you were to him, your face just centimeters away from his own, making your own breathing shallow.
“I—,” you gulped, “It’s in t-that folder.” you pointed out before backing away, finally able to breathe as Jungkook, usually full of words and talk, simply nodded and opened up the folder with the surveys in it.
“So should we print them and send them out, or digitally email them?” he finally asked after a while, as he pulled up the document that had a series of questions about your project.
“I think we should just send it as a link into all the group chats we have, and maybe even the school facebook page? We could get results faster that way,” you suggested, as Jungkook nodded in agreement.
“Let’s do that then, and do you wanna make the online survey or—?”
Waving your hand in the air, you replied, “Yea, I got it.” as you slumped back against your pillows, pulling up a survey maker on your laptop.
As you looked at the time in the corner of your screen reading 12:30 am, you let out a small yawn, one which Jungkook didn’t fail to notice. His lips tugged upwards into a small smile as he saw you rub your tired eyes, blinking as you started to type away onto your laptop.
You weren’t sure when it happened, but minutes later, your eyes had started to droop and you were fast asleep within seconds.
“Y/N, I finished the rough draft for our intro, do you wanna proof-read it?” Jungkook asked as he continued to look straight ahead at his screen, finishing typing up his last sentence.
At the lack of response from your side, he started again, “Y/N, did you hear me—Oh.”
Raising his eyebrow, he bit his lip from laughing aloud, as he noticed your sleeping figure on the bed, your head hanging to the side as soft snores escaped you.
Walking towards you, he took your laptop from your lap and made sure to save your work before putting it away. Gently lifting your head, in careful attempts to not try to wake you, he slowly moved you so that you were now laying flat, placing you in a more comfortable position.
You let out a small sigh, causing Jungkook to freeze in his tracks, your eyes fluttering at the slightest, just to hum in content before snuggling deeper into the bed.
Jungkook had the widest grin on his face as he felt his heart swell in his chest at how adorable you managed to look, your nose all scrunched up, your hair framing your face in soft curls, bringing out the faint blush on your cheeks.
Tucking you in, he pulled your blanket up to your neck before he turned away when he felt something grasp his wrist, tugging at it. He turned around, eyes widening in alarm as your hand tightened, a small whine slipping past your lips, muttering something along the lines of ’don’t go.’
His lips parted in surprise as you tugged him harder, pulling him onto your bed within an instant.
“Y/N!” he yelped softly as he tried to get off when you whined again, pulling him even closer when he realized that you were still asleep and doing this subconsciously.
Several thoughts ran through Jungkook’s head as he knew this was a bad idea, knew that if he stayed things could go very wrong when you woke up and that he could possibly even ruin the budding friendship between you too.
But he couldn’t help himself.
Not when you looked that cute, your soft pink lips parted slightly, your breathing steady as he could feel the warmth radiating from you, seeming so inviting.
“Fuck it,” Jungkook muttered under his breath turning off the lights as he slid in next to you, laying down on his side, facing you.
Immediately you leaned in towards him, snuggling against his body, a sigh of content escaping your lips as Jungkook felt his heart thunder in his chest. Jungkook couldn’t help but smile warmly at you, tugging the stray pieces of hair behind your ear gently, as he stared at your face in wonder.
How were you so pretty, even at ungodly hours like now?
He wrapped his arms around your waist, gently pulling you closer to him, inhaling your vanilla scent that he came to love so much.
Just for a little while, he thought. He’d wait till you fell asleep completely and then he’d leave, at least that’s what he told himself. Placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he whispered, “Good night Y/N,” before his own eyes closed, sleep consuming him.
#bts#bts scenarios#bts one shots#bts drabbles#bts fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook one shot#jungkook drabble#jungkook fluff#jungkook au#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#taehyung#v#jimin#hoseok#jhope#namjoon#rapmonster#jin#seokjin#yoongi#suga#spring day#not today#you never walk alone#bangtanboys#bangtan soneyondan#taehyung scenarios
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[SF] Matilda and the River Styx
Matilda were left being stripped of time essentially, as the flames of over-ambitiousness consumed her thoughts once more in the night. She took odd satisfaction at observing modern Rome crumbling, as it furiously burned to the ground into fine ashes. She would marvel at the horrific infernic display: wondering why such a destructive fire had even been started, and particularly blaming herself: as the Indigenous Warriors were no longer allowed to practice Traditional methods in burn control. Matilda wished she were allowed to be half as egotistical as the Boar: crowned king, and watched in an ominously silent: female rage. Matilda smiled weirdly at the man she had kindly named Herostitous, as he unwisely continued desecrated the lands she proudly called: her temple. She followed his dim orange glow as they meandered in the dark, as she had tricked the Boar into entering the place she called the non-zero: simply by asking him for an interview, and feeding to his absurd need for fame.
Matilda lead the Boar to Hades, and approached the chambers heavily guarded by an odd-looking two headed monster. One head announced false prophet...the other announced the return of the Mack. She asked the pestious beast for entry, as to escort the Boar to the river of Styx: for the Boar believed he had finally died of old age. Matilda had created a Matrix for him specifically, as her mission was only to let the Boar to believe that their reality were true, and she watched as the Boar began to abuse his power, and successfully bankrupt an entire Nation. She had only done this in proposal to improve the advanced fields of experimental psychology, and with the blatant intentions of using technology to prove fidelity in human consciousness. Matilda had relied on her own scientific reasoning, and had successfully manifested: the Singularity. Matilda ordered a false gold city built, as to implement her Trueman Theory. Matilda began lying and banging her head upon the wall, as she watched the entire project be scrapped and unravel by the fault of the fake citizens. These spectators travelled far and wide to seek her gaze, and she began to notice their inability to let her live in peace: unveiling the double-blinded potential of project. She began avoiding contact or eye contact with these losers, and still found they’d break their necks to force her to look upon them. Just as the Boar: the fake citizens only participated in the experiment in the abstract denials...that they were insignificant, and believed immortality would be reached by achieving temporary fame.
The beast that stood guard: now stood at attention at the sight of Matilda...finally viewing the dutard animal she shepherded: as the Boar had rivaled their own sexual depravity. The beast began to twitch in heat: having been exiled from the land, for holding citizens hostage as they starved and branding women. Matilda asked the beast why it failed to control its libido, and began laughing at the false prophet that had destroyed the privileged lives of his flock...to hide his obvious inability to hold erection. Matilda had chased this monster through time, and the last incarnations had been famed for his toothbrush mustache, and she for being his young lover and relative. Matilda had even warned them: she were watching and gave fair warning of her arrival in their dreams, and observed how this judgement caused the horrific creature to stir once more. The beast had been given chance to repent, and instead...began falling back to its own twisted habits. This error rendered her invisible: letting her pass by the perverts unscathed. It seemed she needn't injure the monster, as it were now blinded by the justice, as the citizens had finally deemed the pair a duo-headed monster once more. She chose to lasso the two heads of the beast together: standing upon its back dropping without fear: swinging downward like tarzan: falling through the small hole that held their heads separated at the elongated necks. Matilda had used her favorite slip-knot method to further bind the male and female individuals together: conjoined forever at the cheek and held fully accountable for their matching crimes.
She escorted the massive beast to the river Styx, and waited for a boatman to arrive. This man had once been known as Toth in her past lives: a kind man openly known to the world as a legend, for his soothing voice and endless questions. Matilda had summoned him successfully after thousands of years: simply by asking the river itself for personal favor...needing it to appear magically. She had waited a thousand lives over: with only the luxury to summon its waters with each death and granted one shot to answer a single question… “what is the river Styx?” The lean boatman finally appeared from the fog within her Golden Fleece: indicating that Matilda and the Boar were given permission to finally board the boat. She held no coin to pay the toll for passage, and so she traded him ownership of the beast named NXIVM, as a token if he ever needed to present future riders with questions pertaining to dangerous cults. The man agreed with a kind nod and requested an appointment with Hades, as he politely escorted them through the underworld: where Matilda and the Boar were expected to hold trials for their crimes.
Upon entering a massive fortress: Matilda began to shake violently with anxiety, and momentarily sensing that she was vehemently somewhere that her Papa wouldn't initially approve of. Her childish need for approval: had became a heightened sixth sense, as she had admitted her sins of lies by getting naked with pride and rapping about her struggles through literature. Her thoughts ran amok as she scavaged her brain to produce words in a foreign language and hustled the obese Boar to his public trial. She had created shitty epic poems and used her friends as pawns: the sins of a traumatized orphan in denial of personhood. Matilda climbed steep marble stairs and poked the wide butt of the Boar with a large rod: she admired her own abilities in self-taught critical thinking. She only hoped that the dark would light up with the twinkling lights of Christmas once more: missing the good company she held on such a grand day, and grateful for all those true friends she had met as a performer and future cosmonaut...all believing in the her asinine hope of becoming famous.
Her eyes filled with static the more she ushered the Boar along, until she were inevitability stunned in fear of the future, as she approached a false image of her Papa and felt her mind and body give out at last. The silhouette were true to scale,but his face appeared off: his eyes beady pacing with preditoral excitement, and his smile insincere. Matilda turned herself to stone and laid upon the floor and wept once more: unable to comprehend his presence. She took the aid of a handful of tools and her blind stupidly: forgetting that she needn’t attempt such a dangerous mission alone. Matilda stole her identity back with each battle: proving with a single manuscript...that she could resurrect herself from Hades by way of randomized recurrence. She had instructed her Kness to call her bluff as his task were to unscramble her words, and create timeline laid in proper order. Matilda had found way to reawaken the voices of the people: only by using the echoes of her own disturbing past and a Boar that lived as a false king...void of wealthy and all businessman savvy. Her grandfather approached Matilda with his wicked-filled laughter chasing her through her dreams, and admired her competence, as she had finally stopped running: ready to return to her Redwood forest, as it were the only way to repent for her crimes.
Her book of life: now gave the chaos of this world reason, and even calculated for her absurd existence: meaning that its trueness alone had made it an Ancestor simulation. As an Indigenous Warrior could destroy the world with their individual anguish: with only the words describing the Genocide they fought daily. Matilda knelt down iver the Boar: drawing only the condemning words... central park five: upon his forhead. It had been this orginal sin that would grant the spoiled child a Presidency, as he used his own money to demand the exonerated citizens be “Executed": even after science had proved them innocent, and the true rapist having confessed to the crime. Matilda cast the Boar at the feet of his new captor as she ascertained for his sins with the successful capture of a famous Desperate Siren simultaneously. The performer portrayed a racially -biased district attorney: now exiled from her position at a prominent University, as the actress Siren accused of fraud pretended to hide her crimes by standing in plain sight. Matilda wrote her arguing statements in the quiet, and began to hold court with the man named Hades...known as Shug because he told endless lies to please the masses. A defamed father figure…always slyly smiling in his preverse pride and held unaccountable for his worst crimes: pedophilia. She removed static from her eyes and ears at last: pulling the golden flowers free from behind her ears, and wept openly, as blood was left pouring freshly from her scalp. Matilda had only seen him on two occasions in her life: his unregistered status giving her equal anxiety in the day, as he were still unchecked and unleashed as threat to the general public. She tied the Boar to the man and attempted to leave the two pacing perverts to be hypnotized forever...unaware of her own ability to outwit her male adversaries. As Matilda reached for the door to leave the dome: she found that she had committed sins strong enough to hold second jury: her only crime...believing that she alone, and that she was the unique exception and unaccountable for her life of crimes.
Matilda had already caught up with her readers on these gory battles and trials: allowing the muse to advance with a minuscule sliver of dignity. She had finally freed herself from limbo, with the aid of a humble friend, a man she had once seen in the non-zero...a man know known for his dog and Wick. She had used him as a catalyst to conjoin the ten dimensions that held her under lock and key, and inspired diverse writers to help her ascend from her coma-like state: whenever she looked up in daydream thinking of one of her favorite planets...Jupiter. She stripped away the ten winds that held her crew captive, and admired the citizens that now began to believe in her once more as they read scientific works. She instructed her best friend Jolene to enter the dome, and watched in silence as she casually bent over the Boar sitting on all fours: swiftly used Traditional method of halal once more: as were the orders outlined in their mission. The Indigenous Warrior would only perform this slaughter...after the Boar began to openly destroy democracy, and attempted to brainwash his ignorant followers to “demand" he stayed in office indefinitely, as the leader of their oppressive Republic. She had known the tasks were completed with the arrival of a bright baby named after the light they had chased, and his sweet smile and battle cry would give Matilda hope once more. For the Indigenous Warrior was born similar to her, as a weakened premature baby: fighting for life...with every breath. Matilda now wrote stories as she held herself captive in the Hell of her own making: her only crime: admitting her sins on paper...with no expectations of ever achieving fame.
Matilda looked around the room: able to usher her family to safety as they exited at last, and she left her grandfather in the domed room with the corpse of the Boar. She began to wadger if the idiot would take credit for the gentle knife work of the famed Indigenous Warrior...always deemed number one but left without the verbal appraisals from men. Matilda stood outside of the transparent dome and watched with boredom as the Boar laid dead and undead on the floor. She let an albino peacock into the open space, and watched as Hades grew animated once more: his love for Hera serving as a spinning token to his inceptioned state. Matilda wondered if the woman had grape drink dripping from her tits: as her lightest sins were child abuse, and a false maternal character that evidently tricked countless men. Matilda knew her grandfather only loved the woman because he coveted anything he thought belonged to his older brother. The famous brothers had once been found and named in a science fiction story that were still haphazardly held up as law: an evil book that brainwashed droves of individuals to commit heinous and unnameable crimes.
Matilda instructed her niece to aid her in the next deed of correction: knowing now that people rarely change for the better. She instructed Mama Bear to place a spiked collar marked “Child" upon the neck of Hera and a peach cloak bedazzled with sequins upon the shoulders of the man they both shared ancestral DNA with. Matilda blinded the young girl once more and borrowed her sight for the pair of vapid lovers to use momentarily. Matilda began to laugh without fear as both began to speak and attempt to justify their sins without remorse. She muted their nonsense and watched as the lovers lived the same sins over and over again. The man always ehaculating on the woman diguised as a child, and she...always physically abusing him with her claws or scorching waters. Matilda took the false reality from the eyes of her grandfather, and saw his smile disappeared at the grotesque sight of his lover: covered in the sticky substance that implicated him with scientific proof of his child molesting crimes.
Matilda asked Hades why he had sold her mother, and her two aunts into prostitution as children, and said nothing as he began to justify child rape with financial misgivings and his nattle with alcohlism. She then asked why he had joined in raping his own children, and watched as his beady eyes dangerously focus on the strange woman that somehow knew the entirety of his past. Matilda waited for his words, but knowing there were no words to describe the evil that he encapsulated. She asked Mama Bear to hand her the metal weapon from her magic purse, and finally excused the beautiful young woman with a kiss on her cheek. The girl deserved to hear the truth, but were still too young to witness the dysfunction of their heritage. Matilda had promised to never use the metal weapons of the dead-eyed savages, but this weapon had been created as a contradiction to justice, and broke the law...simply by existing. The weapon was etched with the bold word “STAND": intended only to threaten Matilda and her family, and its sleek design, defaced by stripes and stars on its handle and chamber. Matilda had travelled in time looking for this illegal weapon: laughing at her own citizens once more: criminals by choice, as they flaunted their false patriotism and blissfully ignored Title four addendum eight with pride. Their pure ignorance famous.
Matilda was bound by the laws of Olympus, and unable to eradicate the monster that called himself a grandfather, as his blood was needed to duplicate her genome in the future. He began to prod at her ego, and asking her why she had been ashamed of the name Tila, and informing her that the dead-eyed savages wouldn't ever respect her and her endless self-loathing. He asked if her chosen English name “Matilda”: had given her any form of peace at night, as the prayers of her citizens kept her awake whenever they reached for her in their desperation. Matilda knew that he was evil beyond words: reminding him that she had already made US aeronautical history, and that her English name were now permanently associated with the land. To this new information: he fell scared in self-muted silence, as nobody in their family had ever used their free-will to improve the world...until her. Matilda knew this achievement was never going to be acknowledged, as the Smithsonian Museum still blatantly refused to uphold their promise and house her supersonic rocket: let alone acknowledge her name in writing. Luckily: those who believed in science would always praise her for her feat, and assist her in finding employment under a Blue Shield that brought Hope to mankind. Matilda: proudly accepted that she needed to operate the false star that orbited the Earth, as the first female Indigenous American in space, as it were to be her second act of making history. She had survived seventeen years of abuse and sexual assault all to demand the world see her at last, as a lost child that chose to be without wickedness each day: for the sake of hope and all it provided to those forced to live without. Matilda believed in the inherent goodness of her citizens and the general people, and relied on the fact that her ability to try “too hard” would eventually mean something...to a lot of young female scientists. Matilda intended on making being the first in advanced aeronautics a hobby, as she was still confined to the wrong dimension and her boredom unending. Her lingering guilt holding her captive, as it provided admittance to unspoken crimes.
Matilda didn’t have time for this shit, and so she muted the pervert once more and leaned into his evil with short monologue. She swifty stood behind his beloved witch and finally held weapon to the back her head...crying silently, as she finally forced herself to pull the trigger. The wicked albino peacock now spattered her with burgundy blood, as Hades blinked his eyes slowly with shock and Matilda locked eyes with Hades as her tears turned to relief: finally transforming into laughter. She needn't paragraphs of empty words, and so she cracked her neck from side to side and informed the perverted monster at last: “The name's Ms. Paint. Bitch.” Matilda had left herself endless clues and hid her pilot name within a golden web: to be kept safe and admired for infinity and beyond by all those who believed in hope and love. She closed her eyes gently, and made her last wish...to be thirty one in spirit and body once more, as she had aged herself intentionally in the shame of what her ancestors had done, and allowed to be done to their children at the hand of evils unnamed. She opened them with grace and caught herself from crying at the tragic end scene of the love story of Hades and Hera. The man finally collapsed in a heap: desperately attempting to gather the corpse of his beloved, and she stood taller than ever: towering over the frail evil man. Matilda had finally found a way to forgive herself for her past life as an orphan: her existence no longer burdened by past filled with crimes.
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Yeshua on the mount...
The Bible study Saturday, on a Friday!!!!
Praise God on High!
Thank you God for blessings us with another day.
Thank you God for keeping us safe.
Thank you God for shielding us from the evil ones.
Thank you God for protecting your Patriots.
Thank you God for covering your people in the blood of Yeshua.
Thank you God continuing to guide and mold us.
Thank you God for forgiving us, open our eyes and mind; in order to receive your word.
We praise you in the great name of your son, Yeshua Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Book of Matthew 5:1-7
a. Yeshua Jesus Christ sermon on the mount.
These text from Matthew 5-Matthew 7 are Yeshua teaching. I encourage others to read. I think we can all apply these teaching to today times, our lives, and maybe see what improvements we can make. I say say this, well if there is teaching this must mean there is something to be learned. I have never met anyone, at any level that could not stand to learn something. We all are at different learnings in our spiritual life, so let's try and be patent with each other. I admit sometimes this is even frustrating for me.
Sometimes, I ask questions to others hoping to receive maybe a different point of view or an expansion of what I may feel I am learning; only to be disappointed. Then I remember God gives us all certain lessons. God grants us all certain educations. God has purposed us all for different blessings and missions in life, so who am I to get frustrated with others who may not have the same mission as I? I admit it would be nice to meet someone who is one the same mission as I, but sometimes and many times we read in the Bible persons of God that were separated. Separated from friends and family. People of God who were misunderstood by many. Persons of God who were even shunned or put to death for their relationship with God. So I guess sometimes the cheese really does stand only. ;-( (little humor)
(a). Yeshua goes up to the mountain. Before he begins the sermon, Yeshua prays, seeks Gods, and only then does Yeshua begin. Matthew 5:3-7
Even Our great and wonderful Yeshua sought God before delivering a message. Even Yeshua sought Gods communication before he spoke to people. People from all walks of life. I have been asked "if Yeshua is God made flesh, why he needed to pray to himself of spirit?" Honestly, asked at the time I didn't have answer. I'm not sure I even have the correct answer now, but I think I might be somewhat close.
Yeshua was flesh. God is spirit. God is forever energy. God is forever living. Yeshua at one point would be a sacrifice on earth. A shedding of blood as payment for our sins. That means all of our sins. From the first sinners; Adam and Eve------all the way for us here and now. God had to make himself "less than" in a sense; to be among us. Just as Adam and Eve were made less than they formally were in the garden; when casted out. God made a promise to Adam and Eve. That he knew people/human would sin and go against him. God know he would have to at some point, send himself to earth in human form and die for a rebirth of our relationship with him. God set up certain guidelines for us. What would guidelines be if God himself did not stay true to his own word. Thus, why Yeshua prays to God. "Seek God in all this" God's greatest commandment,"Love God with all your mind, heart, and soul."
5(3). "Blessed are those poor in spirit" What does it mean to be poor in spirit?
5(4). "Blessed are those who mourn" (different types and levels)
Those who have had great suffering in their earthly life.
Those who have had great grief.
Those who were maybe looked down upon.
Maybe we can understand this as the "under dog", will win in the end.
What is the ultimate prize?
Being in the bosom of God.
Making it to the kingdom of heaven.
My question is , what of those we seem to have/ or do have the more easier life on earth? What happens to them? DO they make it to heaven? I think sometimes, many of us want an easy life. A life free from hardship and pain. I can say, yes that would have been very nice, but would not have been what's best for me. And if I am being completely honest, most of my hardships were from my own mistakes. Mistakes in not having a strong relationship with Yeshua, God, and the Holy Spirit. SO I guess we can't blame everything on Eve eating that darn fruit from the tree of knowledge. ;-). God turned Eve and Adam from the garden. Eve and Adam had known bliss. They also had known pain and what it was to be out of the presence of God. But, even in the darkness God takes pity on them several times, going so far as to make an additional promise to them. A promise of restoration. After they completed "their walk in the desert"; so to speak, they would be returned to the garden, thus returning to the presence of God. AS shall we. Everyone in the Bible has a "time in the desert ", but afterwards they receive God's kingdom. Thats something to look forward to . ahhh the necessities of life.
5(5). "Blessed are the meek"
Definition (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meek)
meek adjective
5(1) : enduring injury with patience and without resentment
(2) : deficient in spirit and courage : SUBMISSIVE
(3) : not violent or strong : MODERATE
5(1) Do we blame God for our injuries? Do we blame others for our pain? Do we lash out in anger?
5(2) Submissive..... well This one is a difficult one for me, personally. I am anything, but submissive. Submissive, would not be something anyone who has met me would describe me as. !00%
I am left wondering if it matters of what or to whom; someone is submissive/ towards? Wife to husband. check. Child to parent. check. But, I could never see myself being submissive to an abuser, a user, a thief, a liar, a cruel person. Nor, could I stand by and watch someone be mistreated. I am not built that way at all. I think God's word is leaning towards those who aim to create peace, rather than hunger for power and war.
I am sure we have all met persons who just love to argue. Persons who for some reason crave "drama" in their life. Persons who somehow are at the certain of troubles constantly. Side note: how exhausting that must be.
Anyhow, this leaves me wondering is this something I need to work on? Being more meek, submissive, moderate? I do plan to pray to God for direction this matter.
That being said, I can see why I am someone who has always defended those who were meek. I was never one who could watch someone be hurt in anyway and not speak up. I praying that counts for something. I guess only time will tell. I am sure many of us out there have a defender heart. We aren't built to watch wrongs or unlawfulness be committed. Maybe it just depends on the situation and the intentions behind the or an act................ time. time. time.
5(6) "Blessed are those who hunger/thirst for righteousness"
I am with this one completely.
When we are hungry and or thirsty, do we sometimes become desperate? Will we reach for something that is not quite the best for us; just to feel the "need" satisfied? Let's be honest, now. How many times have we been lonely and just jump at the first opportunity, without consulting God first? How many times have we bought a cheaply made product, just because of a price cut? How many times have we taken the easy way out of a situation, to receive a false peace; only to bring more pain upon ourselves?
Sometimes it is draining to be patient. Sometimes it is difficult to resist a "shiny" object. But I ask: what is our end goal? It is not easy to live a righteous life in this world, but that is what sets us apart. This seeking of righteousness is what makes us so very special. As much as we hunger for that win....we should be hungry for God. As much as we thirst for that new new.... we should be thirsting and seeking God's word.
"Seek God in all things" Just because something is easy, doesn't always mean it is of God. Only through knowing God, can we truly know what is meant for us. If we are with God every need will be for filled. AMEN!!!!!!!
5(7) "Blessed are the merciful"
(https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mercy)
Definition of mercy
1a : compassion or forbearance
also : lenient or compassionate treatment
b : imprisonment rather than death imposed as penalty for first-degree murder
2a : a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion
b : a fortunate circumstance
3 : compassionate treatment of those in distress
works of mercy among the poor
I am receiving word from the Lord Tonight!!!!!!!!!!
Confession: I can understand a person not giving someone mercy after a certain point. Not that we will go out of our way to harm or hurt someone that has wronged us or an innocent, but let's be honest. Sometimes...... someone...... can bring us to a point...... were we .....are just so very disappointed or even angry. Maybe we tried several times, several ways; to help someone only to be betrayed. Maybe we help someone out of a situation; only to be used. Maybe .....Maybe.... Maybe.... We had the best of intentions and still got blasted.
We should compassion to someone who didn't understand the value of our compassion; maybe? Have peace my friends. Have peace. God knows our hearts. God knows that his people would sometimes be taken advantage of, mislead, mistreated, or abandoned. Let God settle our scores. Sometimes the best action we can take is to pray for others. This is one of the greatest acts of mercy we can give. Being able to ask God to guide someone and bless them even though we are in pain. Asking God to touch someone's heart so they repent; is a gift for them.
Maybe it's not being as harsh with someone as we want/feel we should be.
Maybe it's holding back the "I told you so."
Maybe it's letting someone realize their troubles/ sins; their own time.
Maybe it's blessing someone with an extra act of kindness.
Going out of our way to help a stranger.
Coming in early for work/staying late.
Maybe it's treating someone kind; without an idea of a return in mind.
Let us pray.
Tonight God, we pray for those who are in need of mercy; receive it.
Tonight God, we pray for those who are meek; be covered and protected.
Tonight God, we pray who stand in the gap; be shielded.
Tonight God, we pray for wisdom, guidance, and discernment.
Show us your ways Lord.
Lead us to learning of you. Let us follow your heart all our days.
Thank you God for being so very good to us. We pray to be more like your son Yeshua.
God heal us who are broken. Save us who are not saved. Let us praise you all the day and night each and every way.
In Yeshua's great name.
Amen
Prayer from 13 Feb, 2019
Let us pray and seek God: Lord, today I pray those that are being targeted by demonic or evil ones be shielded by the blood of Christ. God I pray for those those are being attack, not be fearful. Not be scared. Not be frightened from your love and protection. I pray Lord, those who are receiving challenges also receive growth, wisdom, and discernment.
I pray WE rejoice in your glory God once again. I pray your people wake each and every morning with a song of your love in their heart. I pray this song carries them through their day. In there comings and going God. I pray the light of you that shines from your people blind the enemies and repels any evil person, things, or evil ones from being able to even getting close to them. God I pray, those who are in need of healing receive not only healing, but nourishment of you Lord.
I pray everything and or person removed from us be replace with Godly person and things. With you Lord there is no void. There is no lacking. There is no hunger or thirst. We are complete in your love God. I pray each and everyone who reads this receive a shield of protection in their waking and sleeping life. Let no evil come to their side as they rest, pray, and or seek you God. I pray this in the great name of Yeshua Jesus Christ. Seal with the blood of Christ. Amen.
RECAP: I will be using my Second Edition Fully revised and expanded book: The Jewish Annotated New Testament. I purchased this book from Barnes and Noble a while back. I have provided the link below incase anyone is interested. No, Im not paid or sponsor by this book, editors, or writers, or Barnes and Noble, just sharing information. (Plus, as a side note I personally don't like it when information of where to look up reference with held when I am watching others on channels etc, so I try and provide the sources of which I am gathering information.) https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-jewish-annotated-new-testament-marc-z-brettler/1125563566 This is just me doing my part to share THE GOOD NEWS, from a study Bible new Christian study person view of the world, experiences, and study bible sorts. So I completely understand any others interpretations, but this is my blog so obviously that interpretations I write with my views and applications to my life, from my life. I pray this helps others. I pray I can help further God's kingdom here on Earth. I pray God be with us in our study and guide us to wisdom, knowledge, and discernment; for our souls shake. In Yeshua Jesus loving name. Amen. I will be going through this study bible book by book, verse by verse. While comments are welcomed, any negative and evil comments will not be tolerated(towards myself or others) by me. I don't aim to divide, but bring us together as sisters and brothers in Christ. I can accept different points of view, but evil words will never be tolerated or welcomed. It is ok to disagree, but not to attack. It is ok to have a different view or interpretations, but not to curse(spiritual definition). And as always if others have information to add, or thoughts to be considered, please post in comments sections. Thank you friends and Christian family.
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