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writer-in-theory · 2 years

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The Moment I Knew (Spencer Reid x Reader)

summary: when spencer misses one of the biggest nights of reader's life, she wonders how much more of this she can take. series summary: a series of oneshots to celebrate the release of red (taylor's version). 19 songs, 19 fics. pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst with happy ending content warnings: a bit of language, sexual allusions(maybe? kinda? very subtle) word count: 4.4k a/n: and with this double feature, we are officially caught up from my oopsie last week. i genuinely cannot believe there are only three days left. someone tell me how this happened. but also, thank y'all so much, i really cannot explain in words how happy your comments and tags and such have made me. i love seeing what you think of my fics and i'm so glad we're all having fun in this lead-up to red (taylor's version) bc i know that i'm definitely not ready for that album. it's gonna be so great. so thanks for letting me share this with y'all 💜

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“Now I just wanna be alone, but your close friends always seem to know when something is wrong..."

It wasn’t obvious how much Spencer Reid changed your life until you were standing in front of nearly every person you love, wishing he was there.

It wasn’t fair, really, how much you could come to love one person in such a short amount of time. Accidentally meeting Spencer that one morning turned into something far greater than either of you expected, but something you would cherish for as long as you could. He’d been trying to meet up with one of Savannah’s coworkers to grab something for Derek, so when he’d seen you in your scrubs at that coffee place he’d run right over. It hadn’t taken long to figure out the confusion but afterward, you’d pestered Savannah at work until she told you everything about Derek’s best friend, Spencer.

If you knew where it would lead you to, you might have told your past self to skip the coffee for the morning if only to avoid him. This was the worst feeling you’d felt in years; a deep disappointment gripping tightly to your heart and preventing the joy of the night from reaching you.

Spencer was late.

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, you found yourself worrying your hands in each other, constantly positioning yourself in conversations to keep one eye on the front door of your apartment. Every little noise had you looking, hoping to see your boyfriend walking through that door with a bright smile on his face. Each time it wasn’t, your shoulders dipped and you tried to keep the smile plastered on your face; because this was still your family and friends. They’d all shown up to celebrate you and deserved to see you happy.

“So when are we meeting this guy of yours?” one of your closest friends and coworkers asked, nudging your hip with theirs playfully.

“Hm?”

“Spencer. When do we get to meet him? You’ve been talking about how great he is for months, I gotta meet the guy that’s been making you that happy and annoying,” and normally you would have laughed at the playful teasing in your friend’s voice.

Instead, after checking the door again only to see it hadn’t moved, you only said, “He’ll be here.” It was more for yourself, you knew, a gentle reassurance that Spencer wouldn’t miss tonight. He’d be there for you, he had to be.

It might not have been so disappointing, had Spencer not gotten your hopes up in the first place. The entire party had been his idea, so it broke your heart more at the thought that he wouldn’t be there to see how happy it had made you.

Spencer made it obvious when he wanted to talk to you about something important. He would never make you wait, instead always coming out with it right when the thought came to his head. It was something you appreciated about him, the ability to be so open with important matters.

That skill hadn’t always come easy. In fact, the lack of it at all had once nearly destroyed any chance at a relationship the two of you had. Now though, you woke up in his arms and knew from the little glint in his eyes that he had a question for you.

So you pressed a kiss to his lips in good morning, keeping your legs tangled together and pressing as close as you could to him while still looking into Spencer’s eyes.

And when he was ready, he asked, “What are we doing for your birthday?”

It had stunned you, honestly. That was something he considered to be this important? It was the first birthday you’d be spending with him—and that thought alone surprised you as it often felt like you’d known Spencer for lifetimes—and honestly, you hadn’t considered it at all.

“I don’t know. We don’t need to do anything big,” you answered, shrugging as best you could from how to lay, “maybe just takeout and a movie?”

“What do you mean? You don’t want to celebrate?” Spencer asked, seeming too much like a heartbroken puppy over something as trivial as a birthday.

“I never have before,” you admitted, “with the day being so close to Christmas, it usually just gets forgotten with the holiday. It’s never really been important enough to celebrate.”

That did Spencer in. Immediately he was tugging you even closer, your face dug into the crook of his neck and arm coming up to wrap in his hair. He pressed gentle kisses against the parts of your face he could reach until you were giggling at the sensation.

“Spencer, what are you doing?” you laughed, trying to pull away but his arms around your waist wouldn’t allow it.

“I’m showing you how important you are to me,” he answered simply, “I’m sorry no one’s celebrated you before now.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me,” and suddenly the look in Spencer’s eyes seemed far too serious as if this was about something a little more important than a birthday celebration. “We should celebrate every year that the world gets to have you.”

“Spencer.”

“We’re having a party. We’ll invite all of our friends. I can finally meet your family and coworkers. It’ll be the night before your birthday, so you’ll have everyone you love around you the second it turns midnight,” Spencer told you, and it was hard not to buy into the fantasy. You’d never felt the need to celebrate the day before but Spencer was making you believe in it.

“You’re too good to me,” you answered, rolling the two of you so he was on his back and you were straddling his waist.

“What are you doing?” Spencer asked, hands hovering just over your thighs.

“It’s my turn to show you how important you are to me,” you answered easily, bending down to press a long kiss to his lips.

And as the two of you found a reason to stay in bed a little longer, you found yourself looking forward to your birthday for the first time, all because of Spencer.

When it hit midnight and your friends cheered, you swore they could all hear your heart shatter. You stood there in your favorite dress—the one you only wore on very special occasions—staring at the door with a sudden realization that it wasn’t going to open tonight.

Spencer wasn’t coming.

As you smiled and laughed for your friends, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly naive. How could you have ever expected any other result for tonight? You’d always been patient with Spencer’s job. He was literally saving lives by catching people who did unspeakable things, how could you ever fault him for missing something as trivial as a date here and there?

Except, it stopped being here and there. Suddenly you learned not to actually get dressed for dates because, more often than not, you’d get a call saying Spencer had to stay late or was being called out on a case. He’d started teasing you about how you never started to get ready until he was already at your apartment, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him the reason why.

Spencer loved his job, how could you ever ask him to choose when he’d worked there for over fifteen years?

Now you were blowing out the candles on your birthday cake, wishing for the one thing you knew you couldn’t have.

You should have known better than to get your hopes up. Any other year, you would have been ecstatic over this party. You would’ve cried and cried in only the best way, thanking everyone profusely for choosing to spend their night with you. You’d lose yourself in the fun, wondering why you’d never celebrated like this before.

Screw Spencer Reid, for ever letting you think he’d be there for you.

So when you felt the tears start rising even as you smiled at everyone you knew, you did the only thing you could. You made a couple of excuses, hoping no one saw the way your eye makeup was beginning to smudge. You nearly sprinted down the hallway to the safety of your bedroom, your legs giving out as soon as you got there.

It was only after the first sob tore through you that you even realized someone had followed you. Two someones, actually, and neither of them was who you would’ve expected. Two of Spencer’s closest friends stood there, sympathy filling both of their expressions.

You’d met Derek through Savannah first. The moment you met him, you knew he would be perfect for your friend and coworker. He was one of the kindest people you’d ever met, almost always willing to see things from the other person’s perspective. While there was no proof, you were sure it was Derek who had pushed Spencer to ask you out.

It was Derek now who was crouching down in front of you, strong hands guiding you into a hug. “I know, let it all out,” he gave you permission and it was like the dams had burst. Your body shook against his and you only had the brief sense of mourning over the shirt that would now carry mascara stains on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you cried, your fingers digging into the fabric and holding him closer. It felt strange to be comforted by your boyfriend’s best friend, but then again Derek always did seem to know when something was wrong. You’d blame the profiler in him, even though he hadn’t been one in years.

“Hey, what are you apologizing for, sweet girl?” Derek asked, keeping his voice as light as possible, “None of that, okay?”

“I’m ruining your shirt,” you whined.

That was when the other person made her presence known. She stepped fully into the room, shutting and locking the door to offer you as much privacy as possible. “Don’t worry about that, Pumpkin. I’m an expert at these things, I can get any stain out,” Penelope reassured you, trying to smile even though you could clearly see tears of her own slipping down her cheeks.

While you absolutely adored everyone who was, or used to be, on Spencer’s team, you had to say Penelope was one of your closest friends out of them all. She’d been the one to pull you in and make you feel like part of the family when Spencer finally asked you to meet them all.

“He was supposed to be here,” you spoke up, voice wet with thankfully slowing tears. You pulled out of the hug but Derek stayed near you, always ready in case you needed more support.

“I know he was, I’m so sorry he’s not,” he told you, face tensed with everything he wasn’t saying. And though you weren’t a trained profiler, you knew enough to notice the frustration behind his eyes. He was mad at his friend, he was hurting with you. Maybe Derek was simply remembering those first few months of his and Savannah’s relationship when he’d once prioritized his job too.

“I may not work there anymore, but I can and will track them down,” Penelope vowed, causing you to laugh through the pain and shake your head.

“That’s okay, Pen. I know where they are, Spencer just promised he’d fly back early if the case wasn’t done,” you explained, watching as both of their faces crumpled at that.

This was not a time when Spencer simply went on a case, unable to help it. This was a time when he expressly promised to do anything to be there, had made a plan for what to do if his job got in the way, and then ignored it all.

“There could be a really good explanation. Maybe their flight got delayed?” Penelope tried, but all three of you knew better. It was a private jet, the likelihood of them being delayed was slim. Besides, if that were true then he would have called.

No, Spencer just once again picked an unsub over you. “You know what I wished for tonight when I was blowing out those candles?” you asked, scoffing at yourself and fiddling with the bottom hem of your dress.

“What, Pumpkin?”

“I wished that once, only once, I would be Spencer’s first choice.”

Then Derek was bringing you in for another hug, holding you tight as the tears renewed. Penelope joined in, and soon enough you were sitting on the bedroom floor with two of Spencer’s closest friends, all of you mourning his disappearance tonight.

And when you were ready, Derek would leave the room to help get the word out that you were okay. He’d send in Savannah, and she and Penelope would get to work helping you fix your makeup. Soon enough, you were heading back to your party with no sign anything had ever happened.

Everyone knew, but thankfully they also knew not to say anything about it.

So you spent the rest of the night with almost everyone you loved, coming to the painful conclusion that there was a decision you had to make.

The party didn’t last much longer, after that.

While you’d put on a brave face, your friends knew you well enough to notice when you were hurting. So they’d wrapped up quickly, giving you hugs that lasted a little longer than usual as they left.

Savannah and Penelope stayed under the guise of helping you clean up. In reality, you understood they just didn’t want you to be alone; and honestly, you didn’t want to be alone either. The three of you blasted music as loud as you could without getting a noise complaint, cleaning up your apartment, and talking about everything but Spencer.

And when you were done, the three of you set up a giant pile of blankets and pillows in the living room. You’d piled in and chose the saddest romantic movie you could come up with. It felt good to cry, uninhibited and without an ounce of embarrassment.

It was nearly morning when the phone call finally came.

“Should you answer it?” Penelope asked, the three of you crowding around the phone you held in both hands.

“If Derek had the nerve to do this to me, I’d make him sit with it for a few more hours,” Savannah suggested.

As much as you wanted to, you knew what that would do to Spencer. That had been his one request when you two got more serious: please, just tell me when you’re mad, don’t shut me out. Spencer had lost so many people, had been abandoned without any word of warning. You’d promised to never do that to him. So you answered, but put the call on speaker so your friends could be there to properly support you.

“I’m on my way, Y/N, I promise. We just landed, I can be there in half an hour,” Spencer spoke rapidly as soon as you tapped the ‘accept’ button. At least he sounded guilty.

“The party’s over, Spencer, you missed it.” You were shocked by how neutral your voice was, almost distant sounding. It was easier this way, to disconnect yourself from the surge of anger and hurt that was swirling in your chest.

“It’s still the same day, I can be there. I’ll be there to celebrate, I promise. Just give me thirty minutes, and-”

“I gave you all night,” you sighed, running one hand through your hair. Why didn’t he understand how much this had hurt you? For a genius, Spencer seemed completely oblivious to the gravity of the situation. “I kept waiting for you to show up, and you never did. Do you know how humiliating that was for me, do have to explain that my boyfriend with near-perfect recall forgot about me?”

“I didn’t forget about you, Y/N, I’d never forget about you,” Spencer rushed to blurt out, and you could hear the panic welling up in him. Normally you’d comfort him, reassure him that you weren’t going anywhere.

You’d had that tough conversation before, laid nearly bare against each other in the middle of the night. Spencer had opened up to you about his wrongful conviction, about how sometimes it felt like he didn’t deserve you. How sometimes, on those bad days that never seemed to completely disappear, Spencer feared that one day you’d wake up and realize you deserved better.

You didn’t deserve more than him, but you did deserve more than this.

“I made a breakthrough in the case, I had to stay and help finish it out,” Spencer explained as if that would help matters at all. As if that hadn’t shattered the pieces of your heart into something that felt horribly irreparable.

“That’s so much worse, Spencer,” you told him, biting your lip as you tried not to cry again. He wasn’t worth it, you told yourself, even though this relationship had made you the happiest you’d been in a while. “You chose your job over me again.”

“It’s not like that,” he immediately protested, “I can’t just give up this job.”

“I’m not asking you too,” you shot back, “I would never ask you to give up something you love. All I want is to be a priority for you at all. It feels like I’m always your backup plan.”

“What do you want from me, Y/N?”

“I want you to actually act like you love me! Everyone else on your team has been able to set professional boundaries and have lives outside of their job. Why can’t you? Why aren’t I good enough for you to choose, Spencer?”

You heard the choked gasp through the phone, knew he likely had tears clinging to his face that matched your own. You tried to picture it, him standing in the BAU office at his desk, one hand holding the phone and the other gripping the strap of his bag tightly for comfort. The others would be around him, checking up on their friend who was so clearly upset.

Would they blame you for everything falling apart? Would they look at their lifelong friend, who’d been beaten down and scarred by the world so many times, and blame his broken heart on your selfishness?

“Something has to change. I can’t keep doing this, I can’t get my hopes up only for you to let me down every time,” you spoke softly, voice shaking through the tears.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” and Spencer’s voice almost sounded pleading, as though he desperately needed you to know he realized what was wrong with this situation.

You couldn’t do this.

“Yeah, I am too,” you whispered, hanging up the call and allowing the other women to hold you.

Spencer wouldn’t be there for you tonight, but his friends would be.

Two days later, you were sure Spencer had made his decision. When there was absolutely no word from him it was clear: he’d chosen the FBI over you.

It wasn’t like you were all too surprised. Spencer was good with his words, always making sure you felt loved and cherished, but when it came down to actions they spoke far louder than anything he could say.

By midday, you still hadn’t gotten out of bed. After thanking them on the morning after the party, you’d said goodbye to Penelope and Savannah then immediately curled up into bed. You didn’t move for two days except to get bits of food or water. The two of them texted, and you promised you were okay, and they saw right through it but didn’t say a word. They’d let you come to them when you were ready, and you were so thankful that you had such amazing friends.

You hoped you could continue to be friends with Penelope after Spencer and you inevitably break up. Briefly, you wondered if Spencer would have the guts to do it in person, or if he’d leave it at that last conversation. You genuinely weren’t sure which was worse.

The knock on your door was decidedly worse than anything you’d been thinking about. You let out an annoyed groan, figuring it was Savannah or another coworker doing a wellness check. You swung the door open harshly, lips parted and ready to reassure your friend that you were perfectly okay.

Instead, Spencer was standing at the door in that suit with the red vest you loved, pink roses in his hands.

You blinked, wondering if you were hallucinating from dehydration. The image stayed firmly rooted in front of you though if a bit more nervous looking as the silence dragged on.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer spoke, and you shrugged.

“I know,” was all you could think to say because you’d heard those two words so many times before they’d begun to lose all meaning. “Why are you here, Spencer?”

“I missed your birthday.”

“I’m aware of that, thanks for the reminder.” Why did he come here? Was this his attempt at giving you the kindness of an in-person breakup? If so, you would’ve preferred leaving it at that phone call.

“I don’t have a good reason for why I missed it and I wish I did,” Spencer spoke, hands fiddling with the little tie around the flowers. “Because then there would at least be a reason for why I hurt you.”

“I do too,” you answered, because what else were you supposed to say to that? Because it wasn’t just this one time, it was all of those times he’d missed something important. It was every time he promised you something then never followed through. It was the way you loved him so much, the way you were exhausted from being hurt by him.

“I don’t want this to be the end, but if you want to break up then I’ll accept that,” Spencer started, “but first I’d like to show you something.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a g-”

“Please, just trust me, Y/N,” Spencer pleaded, suddenly realizing what he held in his hands and offering them out to you. “Pink roses can symbolize an apology. They can also be a symbol of gratitude and devotion. You’ve made me happy in a way I never thought I’d get to be, and I am so thankful for every day I get to wake up to you. I’m so sorry I made you feel like I didn’t care.”

“Spencer,” you tried, feeling tears well up as your fingers curled around the flowers. He’s good with words, your brain tried to remind you, this part has always been his strong suit. It was your heart though, reaching out to the nearly broken look in Spencer’s eyes and begging you to make it go away.

“Please, let me show you how important you are to me.”

And you were brought back to that day, laying in bed together watching the sun peek through the windows; gentle touches and even gentler words passed between you. It was a day filled with so many beautiful promises whispered but never fulfilled.

You wanted to refuse. You wanted to shut the door and tell him to find someone else to prey on. Instead, you stepped forward and shut the door behind you with a quiet, “Okay.”

“Really?” You watched hope light up Spencer’s entire expression, pulling his eyebrows up and creating a shine in his eyes that for once wasn’t tears.

“It’s not forgiveness,” you clarified, making sure he understood the boundaries you were setting for each other, for yourself, “not yet.”

The walk to Spencer’s apartment had never felt so long. You didn’t live too far from him, but even now being this close to him sent pulses of tension through every muscle of your body, as though you were preparing to run when things looked bad.

And when you got there, both of you stood outside his apartment door, Spencer actually looked nervous. His hands shook as he fumbled with his keys, eventually guiding you into the cozy apartment.

Now, standing there in sweatpants and an old CalTech t-shirt you’d “borrowed”, you were reminded of something your mother had once told you before bed. You’d asked her why she and dad had a fight and if that meant they were going to divorce like one of your friend’s parents had. She’d laughed and shaken her head, explaining that love isn’t a straight path but eventually you’d find where you were meant to be.

You hadn’t understood what she meant until now. You turned to face Spencer, who’d shoved his hands into his pockets and was trying to hide how nervous he was about it all. “Happy birthday, darling,” he told you, and that was the only invitation you needed to close the distance and wrap your arms around him.

“You didn’t have to do all this,” you told him, wondering how long it had taken to put up the decorations. They were all red, your favorite color, and were all a little crooked but absolutely stunning to you.

“Yes, I did,” Spencer countered, finally wrapping his arms around you in return, squeezing just a little too tightly. You’d let him though because finally, he was showing you how much this mattered to him beyond just beautiful words. “I love you, Y/N, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me,” you reassured, your hand finding its home in the tiny curls on the back of his neck, “I love you too, Spencer, I promise.”

“I can’t promise I’ll be perfect right away, but I’ll make changes. I’ll try to be home more often.”

“I don’t need perfection, Spence, I just need you,” you murmured against his neck, allowing your bodies to sway to the music that wasn’t playing. It was the dance you’d hoped to have on your birthday but somehow felt more special now. This moment was just for you two; a careful demonstration of how much love there was between you.

“Hey, Spence?” you spoke up after a few moments of peaceful silence.

“Yes?”

You were sure of it now. The decision had been made, and in this moment you knew the truth about what you wanted for the future. “This is forgiveness.”

SERIES TAGLIST

@samuel-de-champagne-problems @alexlovescriminalminds @reidsbookclub @givemeth @fightingdragonswithreid @eurydice-but-gay @girloncorneliastreet @silverhetdanes @just-a-human-witha-pen @shemarmooresfedora @rexorangecouny

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer x reader #spencer reid one shot #loving you was red #my fics

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask. Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

#.camgirl

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emgene · 3 years

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Pocky Challenge With Enhypen

Requested okie dokie lets keep this soft and fluffy for obvious reasons (bc i wanna add the maknae line but dw it's all appropriate i promise) lmao why am I so awkward when it comes to this shit Warnings: probably swearing, kinda tedious, I keep saying little??, not edited

Jungwon -Meet awkward baby #1 -You suggest this game and he completely shuts down -His heart is beating out of his chest the entire time -He gets a quarter of the way there before freezing and it's up to you to finish the job -Your lips touch and he like... squeaks? and pulls back -Embarrassed~

Heeseung -He thinks you're joking when you bring it up -But then you pull out a box and he just kinda chuckles -I can't see him backing out of this -And even if you end up trying to back out, he won't let you -Hee is gonna get his kiss lol

Jay -Dude he totally came up with the idea -Jay seems like a tease and I can see him getting bored and going "aight let's see what happens" -If you try pulling away, he'll grab hold of the back of your head -Idk but imagine you do end up actually pulling away and he just stares at you and chuckles with the last bit of pocky still hanging out kinda like how people hold toothpicks with their teeth yk? -I KNOW IT SOUNDS DUMB BUT JUST TRUST ME LMAO

Jake -Meet awkward baby #2 -I'm 90% sure he'd find it fun but he's also a little awkward so I mean- -When you two get rlly close he grabs hold of your arm and gets really giggly -Tbh I can see him pulling away at the last second bc his body tells him to nope out of the situation -Don't take it the wrong way, he's just a little awkward and can't really stand the prolonged lead-up

Sunghoon -I'm not entirely sure how Hoon would react -I think he'd play just to make you happy -Another one to pull away at the last second, but that's just because he wants to see your little pout before going back to kiss you -Sorry his is so short :/

Sunoo -I can see him buying a whole bunch of different pocky flavours just because he wants pocky, then they arrive and he just goes °O° iDEA! -He calls you over and presents the giant pile of pocky boxes on his bed and tells you to choose one -He probably likes this "challenge" bc 1. he gets nom noms 2. he gets little kisses -What can I say? Baby loves the attention

Ni-Ki -Oh lawd there he goes I've never seen a toddler run so fast -This kid seems so goddamn confident but as soon as you mention this, he's g o n e and now you gotta put out missing person posters -jkjk but honestly you might have to pin him down to get him to even think about playing -You gotta bribe him with food (bungeoppang) and even then he does that loud ass high-pitched scream -Your lips merely brush and he yeets himself backwards and out of existence

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atsvmi-x · 3 years

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my personal characterization of eren bc i’ve been thinking about him a lot🥰 this is all modern!au bc canon literally never happened.

these aren’t x reader headcanons but i have more than enough thoughts about eren in a relationship to provide those soon!

General

Loud, brash, and loyal to a fault - you either love him or hate him (or if you’re Jean, you both love and hate him)

Those that he allows into his inner circle are friends for life. He’s easy to piss off but he’s quick to forgive when it comes to friends and family. If that doesn’t apply to you, or you cross those closest to him, he’ll hold a grudge long after the issue is resolved. You’re on his shit list for life.

He wears his heart on his sleeve. It’s literally impossible for him to conceal his emotions. If he’s angry, sad, annoyed, happy, literally anything his feeling you will be sure to know.

The same goes for his opinions. Blunt beyond belief. If he thinks something is stupid he won’t hesitate to say so. He’ll backtrack to soften his delivery if he notices that it offends other parties though.

All of these factors can lead to awkward moments. 99% of the time he’s confident enough in his stance to ignore how others might receive him but the other 1% of the time you might catch the rare sight of his cheeks heating up.

Contrary to popular belief, Eren is actually smart. Not to the same caliber of Armin, Erwin or Hange when it comes to critical thinking and analysis, but it is still above average. That being said, he doesn’t necessarily apply himself to subjects that don’t immediately interest him. However, he has impeccable game sense, making him quite the accomplished athlete.

Anger issues. Clearly. It made him a difficult child... for most of his life (and probably the reason he’s an only child) but as he’s gotten older he’s learned to manage his temper. It’s still easy to rile him up though, and it’ll be a cold day in hell before he backs down from a challenge. But for the most part his attitude is a running joke between those he’s closest with.

He has a strong moral compass and sense of justice. Not in the sense that he’s conservative, far from it. His personal ideology is: as long as it’s not hurting anyone people should do what they want. and anyone that messes with that is wrong. He’s a simple guy

Bad at flirting. He can be super oblivious and when he does catch on, he’s not smooth at all. But he’s tall and pretty so it comes off as endearing 99% of the time. It’s his boy-ish charms that save him every time.

Childhood

Cute as a button as a baby. Poor Carla and Grisha were blindsided when he hit his terrible twos.

Had no friends besides Armin until middle school when his parents adopted Mikasa.

Before Mikasa, he and Armin were the black sheep of the neighborhood kids. Eren easily alienated himself from the neighborhood kids and his schoolmates due to his brash nature. Looking back on it, he still stands with his decision since it meant he found his first friend.

(Armin didn’t fit in for his old soul thanks to being raised by his grandparents)

Super curious and didn’t realize how small he was in such a big world. On several occasions he wandered off because of his curious nature. Would have been a leash kid if leash kids were a thing when he was growing up.

Could technically be considered a school bully for talking down to kids on the playground. HOWEVER, he was smaller than other kids for a while, meaning his haughty attitude resulted in petty school yard fights that he lost most of the time. Still, he never cried and never learned his lesson.

Since we was never against a fight, he made it his mission to take up for Armin. When Mikasa joined his family he did the same for her when their peers made comments about her different looks. As we know, those roles soon reversed with Mikasa taking on a protector roll

To try and find a suitable outlet for his excess...energy...Carla and Grisha signed him up for every sport under the sun. Was pretty good too but excelled at football and track and field.

Teen

Was on a first name basis with administration during his school years for getting too invested in classroom debates. His fired up nature easily boiled over outside the classroom resulting in several fist fights

Got suspended once for said fights, but more often than not Mikasa saved him before he could get into more trouble.

So angsty. Literally a textbook case of teen angst from the loud music, dark clothes, to butting his heads with his parents he was truly a nightmare. (He recognizes this and is forever apologetic to his parents for being so difficult during this time)

Started to grow out of his rebellious phase by his junior year. There was no real explanation for it he just...did. That’s not to say that he was any less combative, he just knew what battles to pick. Good job Eren.

By the time he graduates he’s such a mama’s boy. He’s always loved him mom but now his eyes have been opened to how much of a handful he was growing up. He’s embarrassed anytime she brings up old stories but he knows it’s all in good fun.

He’s also had a major growth spurt by the time he graduates and his years of playing sports have definitely paid off. He’s a total heartthrob by his senior year and unintentionally a heartbreaker. Again, it’s hard to break into his circle, nothing personal.

Young Adult (College/Post Grad)

Commits to playing football exclusively. Not out of hopes of going pro but he just really likes the sport. He’s well known around campus between sports and his personality.

Still, he can be found with any one member of his crew at any given time. It’s rare to find him by himself unless he’s in his dorm room. He’s a total extrovert and gets bored easily when left to his own devices.

BUT he’s not a total party animal. Definitely prefers kickbacks to partying. But he will show his face if someone personally asks him to come.

Smokes and drinks the normal amount. Knows his limits and isn’t a lightweight for either. But under the right conditions (i.e. drinking games, bets, etc.) he’ll over indulge. Far too touchy when he’s under the influence.

Struggled to find his “calling” in school. Most of his friends fell into majors that they clicked with but it wasn’t that easy for him. He probably ends up with a fifth year under his belt. since he didn’t officially declare a major until maybe junior year.

Graduates with a political science degree! 1) He fooled his parents into thinking he’d go to law school which satisfied his doctor dad. 2) While he doesn’t exactly know how, he wants to improve daily life for the less fortunate and he thought this was a good step to do that. 3) He loved being able to argue for a grade during in-class debates

I know we all love streamer!Eren but I really do think he’d end up going down a creative/independent route where he’s not tied to a desk 9-to-5. It really stressed him out to think about doing thing for 50 years and then being able to enjoy life after retirement.

Other

Like previously mentioned, his music tastes were pretty narrow. But as his social circle grew and he was exposed to new genres his musical pallet has expanded. His go to genres are still heavy, but he’s not against asking what song just played if he liked it (unless you’re Jean, he’ll never give him the satisfaction).

I feel like his celebrity crush is Doja Cat. I have no evidence I just feel like he’d be into her.

Baby can NOT dance. if he tries hard he can bust a two step but usually he doesn’t usually put forth the effort though. It just gets worse if he drinks.

Very much a night owl but surprisingly, he doesn’t like to sleep in either. Feels like there’s too much stuff to do in a day to just waste it in bed. He contradicts himself though bc he can spend all morning in bed playing around on his phone (he’s addicted)

#could you tell that i love him?#eren #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren x reader #eren jeager scenarios #eren jeager headcanons #eren yeager scenarios #eren yeager headcanons #aot x reader #aot scenarios #aot headcanons #my writing

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kkoongiee · 3 years

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enhypen scenarios — jungwon as a boyfriend

prompt, Can you do a jungwon as you boyfriend 🥰

notes, gender-neutral, fluff, cursing + this is bad .. i tried?? sorry :( prolly gonna knock out inna second

jungwon is the cute boyfriend that everyone wants!!

he is so cutee and he’s squishy so it is just a +1

i also feel like he likes to brag about his partner??

like phone is out 24/7 and he is showing off you and ur just literally everywhere in his life LOL

photos in the phone, wallpaper & lockscreen, photos in his room 😭 he is sorta obsessed w u

gives u anything and everything

jungwon is maybe likeeee the third simp of enhypen mostly because i think jay & sunghoon would be the worst

(might have to invest in this idea about simps of enhypen)

the relationship might consist of never rly big days out, but a movie or something 🧍u guys r young so it’s never been a big thing like other relationships to go out for lunch or anything lololol

he’s got gifts for everytime he sees u, he does it without any sort of special occasion or holiday??? jungwon is the gift guy for anyone idk

just like that cuddling prompt ... YES jungwon likes that too hehe :3

kitty cat jungwon?? he is very mean in a relationship too .. but kitty cat in a way like ur the mouse and hes the mean cat

hes that boyfriend who always makes fun of his partner 😭😭

jungwon loves to tease u and make fun of u, like when u do something that makes u look dumb or u trip or get food on ur shirt 😐

jungwon is right there to RECORD YOU?? and make fun of u for it

he loves it when u get pouty too or fake upset

u having to beg jungwon for his jacket or hoodie because that boy loves to pile on the layers

he will eventually give it up,, mostly because ur annoying him and pulling on his clothes every chance u get

also i just feel like jungwon likes outgoing people but yknow i could be wrong ..

i just think he wants all the energy around him since he has such a stressful position in the group

ur his lil’ sunshine 😭

he will tell u many times that u help him get energy onstage or during shoots

ur everything to him n knowing ur watching him is just making him want to work harder

hmm,, as for something i think that becomes a habit between u two is just asking if jungwon did a good job today :3

it could lead to fun convos or a bit saddened convos, he vents to u about things or rambles on abt the things he did today

lolol u guys are just content with these small questions or the little things u do, i don’t picture jungwon wanting anything extravagant done for him

he likes to hold hands, lay his head on ur shoulder, or just sit and talk - he likes to snuggle and whatnot, for a good five minutes he’ll stay there before movin around

end of the day - all he wants is for u to be happy and have a good time with u & just know all abt u, the worst thing u could EVER do to this precious boy is try to hide ur feelings or do something just bc he wants to do it - if ur not feeling it that day jungwon wants to just stay w u, it’s completely fine to him

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chuckaf · 3 years

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Chuck Fic Rec List: Updated

So my fic rec post was in my notifs again the other day, and I noticed a while back that the formatting on the post has gotten all messed up and it’s also had like three reblog additions to it anyway meaning there are three versions out there lol. so, I wanted to do another list of chuck fic recs! I’ll keep the other one up still, so I’m not gonna repeat every fic here, just some I really recommend. I’m also adding the fic summaries, which I didn’t on the old post, and some more of my own opinions so, buckle up for a long post!

Chuck Versus the Steampunk Chronicles | Steampunk.Chuckster

1896. A world powered by steam, where humans and machines coexist, and airships are the fashionable mode of transport. The US Empire's deepest and darkest secrets arrive at Chuck Bartowski's doorstep. Have they fallen into the wrong hands? Or will the inventor prove his mettle, even while he's forced to hide from the very people he's protecting? AU, ongoing chronicle, Charah.

A genuinely incredible AU story, with an entire crafted world and universe, so detailed it frequently blows my mind. There is heart and family and infuriatingly brilliant slow-burn, plus a buttload of danger and super fun historical/steampunk action. Oh how I LOVE it.

Chuck vs the Charade | somedeepmystery

When computer nerd Chuck Bartowski returns home to an empty apartment and a dead girlfriend he finds himself embroiled in a deadly game of espionage and deceit. Everyone around him is playing a part to get what they want and when he starts falling for the new woman in his life, he can't help but wonder if he can trust her or if she's the one he should fear the most.

An action and twist-filled AU based on the movie Charade, which is just such a brilliant fic concept I absolutely adored it from the start.

Two Sides of the Same Coin | dettiot

When you're a spy, there's all kinds of occupational hazards when you work with another spy. For Sarah Walker, though, one mission becomes a life-changing experience. Because working with Charles Carmichael leads to protecting Chuck Bartowski.

The first time I read this fic my mind was just blown to its genius. Such a brilliant interpretation of what the Intersect and its concepts set up in the show could be, and ooooof the Chuck/Sarah interactions, my HEART. Related to it, its companion piece:

A Flip of the Coin | dettiot

What made Charles Carmichael agree to become Chuck Bartowski? Well, to start, it wasn't as much of a change as you'd think. A companion to the early chapters of Two Sides of the Same Coin from Carmichael's perspective.

Chuck vs The Butterfly Effect | n7agentbartowski

Chuck Bartowski is a normal guy who just hit rock bottom. No girlfriend, no career and no super computer stuck inside his head. It isn't until Chuck meets a gorgeous stranger on the beach that he begins to think his life is about to change for the better. An AU Chuck fic without the Intersect. "Change one thing and it changes everything."

I said it on the OG post, but this story has one of my top 5 Chuck/Sarah fic meetings. So funny, so... very Chuck. The story is a little angsty overall, but a great read.

Chuck vs the Rogue Spy | Crumby

When a rogue spy from Chuck Bartowski's past shows up to help him during his first solo mission, Chuck hopes that he'll finally find out what happened to Sarah Walker. Post-S2 AU.

There’s a lot of Season 3 fix-it fics out there, which I don’t usually read bc I actually love season 3 lol, but this one’s a good one! A twisty deviation from canon, but still feels really true to character.

Chuck Versus the Nerds Rewrite | Steampunk.Chuckster and David Carner

What happens when two nerds talk endless hours about their favorite TV show? A new take on the show you know, but with the flair, twists, and turns you've come to expect from Steampunk . Chuckster and david . carner. Somewhat canon. Charah.

As the summary says, a different take on the show, which honestly makes a couple changes I would too, but also adds a bunch of fun twists and plots that make it totally new and fresh. Seeing Chuck and Sarah’s thoughts in the more canon sections is just delicious, too.

The Trapped Assassin | SarahsSupplyCloset

After a mission goes awry, the CIA's most lethal assassin is ordered to take vacation while her superiors figure out what to do with her. But when she meets a disarming tourist, their immediate connection only adds to her disillusionment with the agency and her career. Will he be enough for her to finally take the plunge and leave the only life she's ever known? Charah AU

A warning for the very justified M rating if you don’t like that sort of thing, but this is definitely a plot-heavy fic, too. A really neat Sarah-heavy AU, with a whole lotta Chuck/Sarah fancy French vacationy goodness.

Chuck vs the Second Chance | malamoo

AU from mid-season 2 and onwards. Chuck and Sarah part ways only to be reunited years later. COMPLETE.

Literal, crying-at-my-screen angst. Not even a super happy ending. But a brilliantly written, part-reflective/flashback fic, exploring what would’ve happened if Chuck and Sarah’s relationship really was an assignment all along-- and the aftermath. It’s heartbreaking. But if you want a little heartbreak, this is your fic.

Ready at Your Hand | dettiot

In the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, a Catholic plot against the queen comes to the attention of spymaster Sir Francis Walsingham. To protect Elizabeth, he develops an unusual plan: hide the passing of intelligence between two agents by a false romance. When Lady Sarah Walker and Chuck Carmichael meet, though, their pretend flirtation becomes much more.

I love Chuck fic for the very reason that it’s inspired such adventurous and totally unique AUs. Here’s some Elizabethan fake-dating Chuck and Sarah! They have to be so Proper, it’s like that hand moment from Pride and Prejudice but Elizabethan and times a billion. The pining!!

Sarah Versus Getting Married | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker is getting married. Canon. Charah.

I’d recommend all of SC’s fics if I had the room, and I’m already recommending a ton sksks but most of my fic recs are AUs, and this one isn’t! It’s canon, and covers some of in the gap in 4x24, with Sarah just before the wedding itself. Super sweet, heart-tugging, brilliant.

A Chuckmas Carol | Mikki13

A new twist to Dickens' beloved "A Christmas Carol". When Sarah begins to shut out the world around her, three spirits come to show her the error of her ways. Season 3 AU.

Another Season 3 AU, this one written pre-series so it definitely doesn’t fit to canon, but it’s still wonderfully rich in character depth and angst and it also made me cry. Plus, festive!

Chuck Versus Thin Ice | Steampunk.Chuckster

On the doorstep of the Olympics, top American curler Sarah Walker has lost her mixed doubles partner and her boyfriend in one fell swoop. Her coaches throw newbie Team U.S.A. curler Chuck Bartowski onto her team and thrust them into the Olympics, hanging America's curling hopes on two people who only have a short amount of time to learn to trust one another. Charah AU.

Do you like curling? Or the Winter Olympics? It doesn’t really matter because somehow this fic made me extremely invested in both of those things, as well as Chuck and Sarah and them being INSUFFERABLE. Catch me now knowing a ton about curling thanks to this fic.

Walker’s Eleven | Moonlight Pilot

Not the same plot as the movie. Sarah Walker never got out of the con game or became a spy, and now she's on her final con. What happens when true love and betrayal get added to the mix? Twists, turns, and Jeffster!

Con!Sarah always interests me, and this fic is full of her. Lotta con plot, lotta Chuck and Sarah.

The Detective and the Tech Guy | thecharleses

Sarah Walker is a Pinkerton detective. Chuck Bartowski is an electronics genius. They wouldn't have met except for a case of mistaken identity and murder. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man film series. Formerly co-written by Steampunk . Chuckster and dettiot, now ONLY Steampunk . Chuckster.

Everyone in this fic is so damn cool. There are so many martinis. But also great heart and family and like, standing up for who you love, and later also Chuck with Baby Clara content which frankly the show robbed us of. Also, PI!Sarah!!!

Gravity | Poetic4U

AU. Sarah makes a decision that altered her life forever.

This is just a one-shot, which many of these stories are not, so a good one if you don’t fancy a big read! Just because it’s short, though, doesn’t mean it’s lacking; a really awesome what-if AU, and heavy on the Chuck and Sarah.

A Yuletie Tale | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker was dumped the day before Christmas Eve, and her Plus One at her work’s annual Christmas Eve Soiree is now officially a Plus Zero. Her best friend Ellie Bartowski has a solution to her problem, and Sarah finds she isn’t quite as sure about it as Ellie is. AU Christmas Charah.

I’m particularly in love with this fic because, instead of beginning with a meet-cute, it involves Chuck and Sarah already two years into a friendship-- Sarah is Ellie’s best friend. And she’s been crushing harrrd on Ellie’s brother. Also Chuck is in a tux. It’s pretty.

Set, Spike, Dive! | Frea O’Scanlin

Chuck never expected to even make it to the Olympics. Everything is working against him: he's too tall for a diver, too inexperienced for a medal, too much of a wildcard to really make his mark. But an unexpected meeting at the airport, some intriguing new friends, and a whirlwind romance on the sand just might set up London 2012 as the time of Chuck Bartowski's life.

A London 2012 AU, because why not. This is just a fun Olympic-y ride!

OTP (One True Pairing) Prompts | David Carner

A series of Prompts I found online about different times and places in Chuck and Sarah's life. Mostly AU, mostly one-shots. I assume mostly fluff, but I might get deep. I doubt it, it's me. Charah...ALWAYS (It says complete, but if an idea strikes me...)

If you’re not so into long stories, this fic is perfect. Individual set-ups and stories, all Chuck and Sarah, and all super cute. You could dip in and out and just pick a scenario you enjoy.

Chuck vs The Frontier | ninjaVanish

AU: Chuck was enjoying a simple life as a 19th century watchmaker until an encounter with a beautiful Secret Service agent thrust him into a world of intrigue and adventure he never wanted. But then, with Agent Walker around, it can't be all bad, can it?

This fic gets props for being historically-set but still including the Intersect. Again, a historical AU, so the pining!! the need to be Proper!!! But besides all that, there’s a lot of action fun as well.

Chuck Versus The Crosswalk: Remastered | WvonB

Will a last minute mission help our two favorite characters finally get together? This is the remastered version of my first story.

The original version of this fic is on my first list; this is the updated version! It’s not a complete AU, instead a story that diverges from canon, so if you’re more into canon characters and setting than a new AU scenario, this is a great fic for that.

Little Girls, Paper Wreaths, and Choc Chip Cookies | DanaPAH

Very AU: Sarah Walker is a single mother whose Christmas spirit needs a boost after a tough divorce. She isn't quite ready to go looking for romance, but her little daughter's affection for their new neighbor may lure it right to her doorstep, anyway.

An incredibly sweet AU one-shot where Chuck and Sarah are new neighbours, and Sarah has a super cute little girl. So much sweetness and love and hope. I love this fic so much it literally led me to write my own neighbour-kid-AU, so, not to toot my own horn but I’ll link it here anyway.

May Your Walls Know Joy | halfachance

Looking for a fresh start after some tough times, Sarah and her three-year-old daughter move to LA. When they meet a sweet curly-haired nerd who lives next door, though, Sarah realizes they might just find more happiness than they'd ever imagined, if only her past doesn't catch up to her first. AU.

It’s what the summary says; if you wanna read, feel free!

Chuck vs the Sound of Music | quistie64

AU. Chuck, nerd extraordinaire, is a man with seven children and Sarah must protect them all from Fulcrum's evil designs. Warning: there will be singing.

I mean. Not much mystery as to the concept with that title and summary lol, but this is a super fun, soft ride with a lotta sweetness, and yes, singing.

Just Two People | David Carner

Meet Sarah Walker PhD, Psychologist, specializing in personality traits. Meet Chuck Bartowski, man who has left THE electronic company of 2020. When Burton Consultants tries to figure out what is wrong with the morale of Orion Industries, what happens when a guy named Chuck meets a woman named Sarah. I'll give you a hint, it's me writing.

David’s done something pretty special with this fic. It’s Chuck and Sarah centric, but very much an ensemble piece, too, with a lot of Team Bartowski and other familiar faces throughout.

Chuck Versus the Con Game | Steampunk.Chuckster

AU. Chuck and Sarah are partners in the con game. It's an existence wrought with danger and violence. Every day could be their last. Every mission could be the end of the line.

This is where I freak out SC and declare this fic the reason I ever got hooked on Chuck fic and then wrote Chuck fic, and the reason I still love it today but. that is true lol. Just so. so good. It’s also written with the chapters out of chronological order, which is super fun from a reading perspective. But con!Sarah AND con!Chuck?? Best. The kind of fic you will be thinking about for days (if not, y’know, years).

As you can tell by the repeats, I highly recommend just about anything by Steampunk.Chuckster, dettiot, or David Carner, but there are a TON of amazing Chuck fics and authors out there. I’ve never known a writing community so wildly creative-- there are so many unique AUs and canon explorations and story concepts that this show has manifested, and it’s all so much fun.

Most of the Chuck fic community is still over on FFN rather than AO3, so if any of these whet your appetite, feel free to have a browse there for more stories. I’m sure you’ll find something great. Personally, all the incredible writing there has also led me to write a buttload; I’m at halfachance on FFN, so if you see any of my stuff or wanna chat fic, feel free to message me there or here.

Happy reading, folks!

#chuck #fic rec #chuck fic #nbcchuck #praying if i edit this to add to it or i reblog it to add to it all the links stay and the line breaks don't disappear sksks #the old one still looks okay on desktop but it's messed up on the app and on mobile and it's just all generally messy #so i've been wanting to make this for aaages lol yay to finally doing something! woo!

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 3 years

Note

Yo, so I flew through Wrong Number, Asshole (which is 😙👌) and I thought his quirk going off over the phone was so cute. But do you think he’d be insecure about it??? Like about holding hands or trying to keep it together if his s/o says something embarrassing? And what else do you think would he be embarrassed about with s/o?

omg tysm!!! i love writing that story so much so i’m glad u enjoy it!!! we do love a good soulmate au here hehe

aNd wow what a good ask thank u for this im obsessed with it and this is gonna be soooo long omg soz

-okay so first. yes. 100,, 10000% embarrassed about it. he feels like he should have his shit together with his quirk since it’s what Bakugou’s so proud of,,,, and like that’s mostly true???

-except i personally hc that his quirk also ties into intense emotion the same way regular sweating does,,, like, if he feels rlly strongly about something, instead of normal sweating it’s just straight nitroglycerin. and he has to like actively learn how to get a handle on it as he grows too!! so like anxiety sweating? sure he’s got it under control, been there done that. scared sweating?? only gets scared in battle and he’s already exploding things by then so its all good. but love???

-oml has no iDEA how to handle it!! i fully believe bakugou’s idiotic mad brain doesn’t fall easy, but when he does , he falls hARD. so lets say he has a major major crush for the first time ever, and he’s just sweating everywhere and his skin feels like it’s on fire - mans just pops. like a bacon griddle. not full on explosions bc he’s not actively setting them off ,, but if u do something cute, something that gets his heart racing just right he’ll pop

-i kinda imagine it’s bc Bakugou can’t understand what he’s feeling bc he’s a big dumb angry person so instead of just accepting his crush he’s like “oh. my palms are exploding by themselves. and i think about s/o constantly. huh. both things at the same time must mean i want to fight them- yeah that’s it. i just wanna fight ‘em real bad.” which only leads to more little explosions.

-pLeasE heLP hIm

-but anyways, you better not say a sinGle thing about this if u see it or hear it. bc man’s is not one to be embarrassed without putting up a fight,,, and this is about explosions , something he knows,,, so he’ll be like “yeah? wanna fuckin’ make fun of me, huh? i’ll show u what to fuckin’ make fun of!” and then just decide to set off a close range explosion in his hands or blow something near u up to high hell

-what can i say, he’s an idiot??

-congratulate katsuki on the explosion tho,, tell him it was really big and scary and thats when you’ll get him reaLLY embarrassed and keep him embarrassed

-speaking of hand holding tho,, he’ll be super nervous to try at first. like he doesn’t want u to end up feeling the little pops bc you’ll ask and then he’ll have to embarrassed and explain and he just isn’t a fan of that idea alright?? quickly comes to realize tho, as he experiences it, that if you hold his hand you’ll actually smother the little explosions??? like just- nothing will happen bc there’s not enough oxygen for anything to combust unless he makes it combust. which he won’t. obviously.

-oooO and here’s sum other “embarrassing” things he does that you’re ~not allowed~ to comment on

will stare in private. just generally zone out and stare at you- don’t say anything tho!!! bc otherwise he’ll get all huffy and “what the hell are you even makin’ that stupid shit up for! I’d never be caught dead starin’ at an idiot like you” - all said while still simultaneously staring at you.

tries to impress you. like if other people are around that he think u might like, he’ll challenge them to like weird physical feats or intelligence tests or he even somehow turns telling jokes into a competition??? and he’s so competitive it’s obvious too, but u can’t say anything about it. just let him express his love through borderline violence and victory lust ig bc there’s pretty much no stopping him

will cook food for you. don’t comment on how good it tastes tho bc for some reason he finds how much he wants to take care of u majORLY embarrassing

being physically affectionate. man’s almost never grows the balls to initiate hugs or hand-holding or cuddling bc he finds it mega embarrassing to be needy so if he does?? and then you make a joke like “oh, you’re so clingy today, huh” ?? man’s will throw u away from him and never touch u again unless u ask, so just don’t say anything. pleASE

remembering small details. Bakugou’s actually pretty smart and if he likes u then he actually listens to what you have to say,,, this means he’ll remember 3 weeks ago when u said u had a test that day, and ask u about it when he sees u- don’t say any “oh! im suprised u remembered!’ or anything tho,, he’ll get huffy

-and finally, here is a lil list, as a bonus just for u my love, of normal person behaviors that you do that ??somehow?? embarrass immature and emotionally-stunted bakugou katsuki:))

If he sees you do anything embarrassing like trip, or drop food on yourself, or swallow a drink the wrong way and end up coughing, etc.,, if it was literally anyone else Bakugou would just laugh, loudly, bc he’s an ass,, but ur not just anyone else. ur his s/o and suddenly seeing you do that stuff feels so intimate!! esp bc he would’ve never even seen if in the first place if he wasnt paying so much attention to u!!!

saying hi to him first when he’s with other people. like, example, lets say he’s with the bakusquad and they’re just all just hanging out in the common room, right,, so u walk in, see them all sitting there and wave, but u say “Hi bakugou, hi guys!” just bc u were excited to see him. man’s will go rED SO FAST AND HIDE HIS FACE

bending down to tie your shoes. no explanation needed- he’s a guy.

if you go to the store and ask him if he needs anything. it’s literally so simple but for some reason his heart just seizes?? like?? ur thinking about him the same way he thinks about u all the time???? and ur concerned enough to get him something if he needs it??? please he’s goNe, just a whole-ass pile of blushing

if you’re sitting in a group and you look at him everytime something funny is said. bc ofc he’s already going to be looking at u to see ur reaction, so when ur eyes meet and you’re laughing and smiling bakugou just gets so flustered!!!

wearing an outfit he knows nobody else has seen before. this could be new clothes, his clothes, pajamas, old clothes u wouldn’t wear in public, even halloween costumes before a party???- point is, if Bakugou knows nobody else has seen you like that, and only he gets to?? boy is sO SOFT and embarrassed about it

tysm again!! this was such a fun ask!!!! <333

#bnha bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou headcanons #bakugou hcs

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ringmyheart · 3 years

Note

Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

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leejeongz · 3 years

Text

nsfw a-z CHOI HYUNSUK (treasure)

🔅highly requested so i hope that you’re all happy with this and it’s what you wanted 🥺 these are so fun to write🤗🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the nicest boy on the planet. he’ll get you water and will clean you up. he becomes your little puppy and would do ANYTHING for you. he asks you if you’re okay a LOT and is super soft and giggly with you. also tonnes of compliments 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes his mouth and what it can do to you. using it on any part of your body has you moaning… even just gentle kisses. he likes that he has that influence on you and uses it to his advantage.

on you his fav is… he doesn’t have one? he can’t find anything he likes more than the rest, everything about you is perfect to him and he tells you that regularly. but he is a big fan of your legs and how sexy they look 👀

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

on your face, in your mouth or on your chest. not really a fan of finishing inside because 1. he prefers safe sex 2. HE DOESN'T WANT A CHILD YET and so doesn't wanna cum in the condom either lol just in case. likes to cum on ur tits because it looks nice and it makes him cum thinking about it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes sending and receiving voice notes. it’s easier to get off to when you guys aren’t together and faster than texting. enjoys phone calls too but doesn’t have time to think before he speaks on the phone so that’s why voice notes >>. plus they last forever, he can return to them at any time.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

keeps it on the low because he doesn’t wanna make you think you have to “live up to previous partners” or “he’s just using me as a statistic” but he’s had a lot of sexual partners. most were romantic partners (as romantic as 3 month relationships can be) but he’s probably had to relieve stress with other people on occasion. he knows what he’s doing, but he doesn’t wanna compare you to other partners so he keep all of his experiences separate from whatever you’re doing together if that makes sense.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes hitting it from the back, doggy all the way. his hands rest on your ass and spread your cheeks occasionally. also gives him the best angle to spit on his dick before pushing it in (doesn't just rely on spit alone as lube tho, he learnt that the hard way).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t call him goofy in the moment, but he’s not serious either. he’s just having a good time and so are you. he still remains the same person you see everyday, fun loving and sweet.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

the first few times he knew you were gonna do stuff, he shaved or at least trimmed. but the care slowly started fading out and he stopped doing anything down there. if you don't like it, that’s your problem, not his, it’s a lot of effort to go to for someone who clearly doesn’t accept him for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

everything you do, it’s full of love, and it shows. he treats you like his queen and nothing less.

sometimes he can be distant tho, especially during quickies, he has one goal and that is to cum, you’re simply there to assist at that time. but after he’ll show you all the love in the world, he’ll even thank you hehe.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he does it in the shower most of the time. it’s private and also reminds him of times he’d had sex in there so it’s a winner.

the idea of having sex or looking back at sex is mainly what he gets off to, but he uses porn ocassionally when he’s jacking off in bed.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

PRAISE (giving)- likes to tell you when you’re doing something well and likes to let you know that you look good throughout. it’s his favourite thing to do because he means it. he tells you that you look good on your knees because you do, he tells you that he loves the way you moan because he does. he recognises that this makes him vulnerable but it builds trust.

daddy- only if you’re okay with it bc some people don’t really enjoy it for obvious reasons, but he likes you calling him daddy. he likes your voice anyway, but dropping “daddy” innocently into sentences not only turns him on but also makes him eager to please. you’re his baby girl so it’s only natural that he’s your daddy. he has to treat you right.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s up for it anywhere when he’s in the mood. he loves shower sex. although a little impractical and kinda annoying at times, he loves being able to make out with you in a hot and steamy room and fuck you agasint the shower glass.

he’s also a fan of just basic on the bed, on top of the sheets. it’s convenient and hard to mess up.

both places mentioned he considers quite romantic too, which is why he likes them.

very very very turned on by the idea of fucking you in a bathroom or dressing room backstage but he isn’t sure if you’d be up for it or not, definitely something you’d have to initiate but he’s love it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your voice and your moans - you turned on = him turned on. hearing you moan or talk in the way you know he likes… HARD ON STRAIGHT AWAY!!!!!

running your hand through his hair - it sends him crazy. his eyes roll to the back of his head and he has no control over himself when you do that.

wearing his clothes - especially if you wear nothing underneath. he’d encourage that shit too, constantly giving you hoodies and t-shirt’s to wear when you’re at his place.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that puts your safety at risk. you are his happiness and seeing you suffer, even if it something you enjoy, he hates it. he also isn’t one for receiving pain himself. i think he’d not only be hurt physically but also emotionally… like why would you do that to him?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

likes to keep it equal, always repays the favour. actually enjoys eating you out tho and it’s his ✨forte✨. let’s just say he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. he likes to hold your hand when he eats you out, like in a romantic, intimate way.

when you suck his dick, he’s the type to have his hands laced in your hair. he wouldn’t be too forceful and would let you go at your own pace. he never expects you to suck his dick, he’s not one to request a blowjob all too often, but he would never refuse one.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he would start of steady, letting you adjust and what not, before making you set the pace. you can back into him as slow or as fast as you want but after a few seconds he’ll be there to steady it out again. he’d be quite rough even though he’s attempting to be romantic, but it’s just to add a little spice.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

oh he LOVES quickies. they turn him on, even just thinking about them turns him on (and usually leads to one when possible). sex is sex and he’s game for any at anytime. most of the time these happen when people are in earshot. he tells you to be quiet but neither of you want to be. the idea of getting caught fucking you in his dressing room turns him on.

he’d actually prefer quickies to dragged out sex. fast fucking to get the job done is more appealing to him than dragging it out sometimes.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he likes to stick to what he knows. he’d rather know that what he’s doing is good and is actually making you feel good rather than experimenting with something that could go wrong.

he does take risks in the sense that he’s gonna fuck you where you guys could possibly get caught but not as far as to inflict pain or injury.

saying that, he isn’t opposed to trying something that you want to try, or something that you’ve brought from previous experiences.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he drags out the whole thing if you have the time to, spends a lot of time on foreplay. although this doesn’t happen very often, this type of sex is once in a blue moon.

as mentioned above, he loves quickies, they’re his most favourite type of sex since they happen when either of you need it, not when it’s been built up for god knows how long because he’s too busy for that.

he usually can go for two+ rounds but chooses not to. once he’s started on his aftercare, there isn’t a chance you’re getting more dick after that, you’re gonna have to wait (unless you tease him ofc 11/10 would recommend).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s in two minds about them. if you already own them, he wants to see you use them and might use them on you too. if you don’t have any but you want to incorporate them, he’s not opposed to it but he’d rather you found out what you liked in relation to toys first. if you didn’t want to use them he wouldn’t even bring it up.

if you wanted to use some on him, he would let you try it out, but he wouldn’t force himself to enjoy it. if he doesn’t enjoy it he’s not letting you use it again.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a tease outside of the bedroom but during sex, everything is as you see it. he doesn’t want to waste time teasing you, especially if you don’t have the time.

he likes teasing you when people are around. seeing you getting all clammy in front of your friends or his friends to assert his power over you. his favourite thing you do is wink at you and smile. so innocent yet it means so much more to you than it would to someone else when he does it.

sometimes teases you unintentionally. he puts his hand a little too far up on your thigh and before you know it you’re wet and he’s just having a laugh with his friends, not even noticing what he’s done to you. time to take him to the bathroom and show him i think ;).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

loud! groans and moans a lot, he’s not afraid to do it either, he doesn’t hold back. he knows you get turned on by his groaning just the same as he gets turned on by your moans and so he takes great pride in not being shy to make some noise.

dirty talk is a must among you pair once the initial shyness has gone. you could get off to each other’s voices alone. add that to some amazing sex and you’re all set for orgasm after orgasm.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

(i have a strange feeling that someone has written something like this before about hyunsuk (but better obvs and in more detail) but i can’t remember who… if that’s the case i promise this isn’t me stealing their idea or anything malicious).

“i’ve never done this before” you confessed, opening up your laptop to the screen he’d caught you on. you were really embarrassed that he’d caught you watching porn, but he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest, in fact, it really turned him on. that’s why he suggested you watch it together.

“we can try it together” he encouraged, pressing the spacebar to continue the video. you turned up the volume a little, making sure you could both hear.

it took you both a few minutes to really become comfortable with the situation. you’d gotten back to imagining yourself and hyunsuk in that situation, while he studied it to pick up on anything that you might be into.

“oh” he looked over at you who was clearly deep in thought “you like blindfolds too?” he asks.

“yeah, it’s hot” you reply, not once taking your eyes off the screen.

hyunsuk looks around your room when his eyes land on your sleeping mask. he hesitates for a second, thinking he might ruin the atmosphere if he springs in on you straight away. he decides to not ask you just yet, he’s a little too tired to have sex right now, but remembers it for the next session.

you glance over towards him, his trousers and hands catching your eye before noticing that he wasn’t even watching.

“are you embarrassed? i can turn it off if you want” you question. he slowly removes his hands from over his pants and instead replaces it with yours. you begin to palm him while steadying the laptop with your other hand. the laptop was soon moved to the end of the bed. your hand was now in your underwear and his was in his boxers. the experience was surreal, it was a lot of firsts for you, you’d never even thought about rubbing one out while your boyfriend did the same next to you, but you were definitely enjoying it.

“don’t cum until i do,” hyunsuk ordered. easier said than done. “i wanna cum listening to your moans, baby”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's smaller than average…4-5” with average thickness but he gets the job done and it doesn’t affect the pleasure he can give to you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

proper sex, 1-2 times a week. he can be horny whenever you want him to be and you both know that, but he doesn’t always wanna have sex. sometimes he’s just happy with getting you off, especially if he’s tired.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he gets a little hyper after sex and wants to stay awake just to be around you and show you how much you mean to him. falling asleep is the last thing he wants to do. if you haven’t actually had sex, just a little fondling and playing, he’d fall asleep pretty much straight away afterwards. the whole reason you pair didn’t go all the way at the time was because he was tired so…

#treasure #treasure smut #hyunsuk #hyunsuk smut #choi hyunsuk #choi hyunsuk smut #smut

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fbfh · 3 years

Text

magnus chase relationship and intimacy hcs

I genuinely found zero magnus hcs and it made me really sad

Also might not be as in character as my hoo posts cause I haven’t finished the series my library is closed don’t come for me-

As with all steamy/nsfw works, all characters are aged up to 18+

Warnings: moderate descriptions of ptsd symptoms and emotional recovery,, also like boinking and dicks obvs

1.6k words uwu

‘,:)

So he absolutely definitely has ptsd

I don’t remember norse demigods being mentioned as having adhd and dyslexia so correct me if I’m wrong lol

I mean his mom was brutally murdered, he was fucking homeless, then he was killed and taken to valhalla

So yeah

Ptsd

He’s really defensive and jumpy at physical contact for a while

But he’s also incredibly touch starved

He’s super whipped for you

So it makes him really frustrated when he wants to be affectionate and vulnerable with you but he just,,, can’t

He has a lot of emotional walls up too for obvious reasons

You have to have really clear communication with him

Which you do,, and he appreciates it a lot

You baby step into affection and intimacy

And let him take the lead a lot

It takes a while

But after a bit he gets these bursts of affection where he’ll cuddle and make out with you for like

Five minutes or less

Then it starts to feel weird again

You try to do small stuff like hand holding or blowing him a kiss or putting your head on his shoulder to help melt that ice

And it works

It goes from feeling weird, to weird but nice, to nice but kind of weird, to nice enough to ignore the weird part

As soon as he can be,,, he is an affectionate fiend

He likes to bear hug you a lot

He keeps a hand on your cheek or jaw line or the back of your neck when you kiss a lot

He still gets a little weird about his back or stomach or neck being touched which you totally understand

So you kiss his shoulders and collarbones and run your hands over his chest and arms a lot

Once he had a really bad dream and couldn’t sleep cause he didn’t feel safe bc

~‧₊˚; *‧.₊˚ flashbacks fucking suuuuuuck ~‧₊˚; *‧.₊˚

So you played some home renovation show and spooned him and whispered

“It’s okay, I’ve got your back”

He didn’t have anymore nightmares that night

He really likes back hugs after that, as long as he knows it’s you behind him

He gives really nice kisses

It’s like a big full kiss

Idk how else to describe it but it’s very unique to him

He’s super protective over you still in a healthy way

He’s super fuckin pansexual and you can pry that from my cold dead hands

So he has a lot of hoodies and denim jackets

And bracelet stacks and weird dad thrift store shirts

And you can get him more of these things no matter how many he has and he will love it an equal amount

Which is a lot

He gets kind of insecure and feels bad about all his weird symptoms bc he minimizes what he’s been through a lot

It’s kind of a why can’t I just get over it and be normal feeling

You remind him a lot that it’s okay and his feelings and experiences are valid and he’s safe now

He needs to hear that a lot

Once a lot of that ice has been broken he gets really touchy really fast

You two were just like

Chilling on the couch watching a movie or something

And he nuzzles into your side to cuddle

So you lay down a little more and he rests his head on your chest

You keep watching the movie like that for a while

He props himself up and just kind of looks at you for a minute

He can’t remember feeling this warm before he met you

And now he feels really really warm

And tingly

You’re about to look over and ask if he’s alright when he just

Presses his face into your neck and starts kissing you

You let out this breathy flustred little laugh he’s never heard before and he wants to make you make that sound again

He kisses up to your face and his hair is all in his eyes

So you brush it out of the way and tuck it behind his ear and his face nuzzles into your hand

He bites back a moan

You end up making out a lot

Which leads to,, other things

You don’t question it or ask where that came from

You just give him a lot of love and reassurance

Once he feels comfortable,,,, I hope you’re ready bitch

Cause you’ll be under him

And on top of him

A lot

Like a lot lot

He doesn’t have a lot of experience so he likes it when you take the lead

Big fan of showering together

I almost fucking forgot

He thinks you look hot in everthing obvs

But if you wear his boxers

He goes apeshit

If you wear bras he likes the unlined sheer ones best on you

He also thinks you look really nice in boyshorts and cheekies

Esp the invisible microfiber ones

He likes how soft they are and how they just kind of seamlessly glide over your hips

If you play with his hair he practically starts purring

If you tug it really gently he moans

Just thought you should know that

Things get really intense in a good way with him

He gets very caught up in the heat of the moment

Has broken the bed before

And would do it again

Blitz and hearth almost walked in on you two cause they heard a loud crack and thought someone broke in

It was a very very close call

You laughed about it a lot later

He also likes things to be really soft and fluffy

So sleepy morning sex is definitely in his vocabulary

When he gets more comfortable he loves when you rest your head on his tummy and he can play with your hair and touch your shoulders

He also likes when you have your hand resting on his lower back

He finds it really grounding

Gives a lot of back hugs

Sometimes his head is resting on your head or shoulders

Sometimes he’s sucking on your neck

Just kinda depends yk

Really really likes it when you straddle him

Esp when you play with the hem of his clothes

You really really like to straddle him too

It’s a nice seat if you get what I’m sayin

Kind of wants to have shower sex with you but is also really scared of slipping and getting hurt

Settles for romantic bubble baths instead

Kind of stubbly, esp in the morning

It’s really cute

But kind of ouchie on more,,, sensitive areas

He’s usually fine staying a little stubbly, unless he’s planning to surprise you

You get a little excited when you see him shaving extra carefully

He sees you staring and just kind of looks you up and down and winks

Alksdjafskfja

He likes having his hair longer

So do you

So you show him different ways to do little buns and stuff to keep it out of his face and stop it from getting tangled when he sleeps

Ngl you haven’t lived until you’ve seen magnus hard in his boxers kneeling over you hastily throwing up his hair so you can have some fun

That image is thankfully burned into your retinas for all eternity

You get palpitations thinking about it

You’re the only one allowed to play with his hair or call him maggie/mags

He sometimes borrows your scrunchies and it’s really really cute

You end up with this little routine of swapping them when they stop smelling like the other person

If you don’t wear scrunchies you get him some and he thinks it’s adorable

You also steal them and swap them out when they don’t smell like him anymore

He loves having picnics outside with you

Especially to go stargazing

Yeah rooftop picnics are a thing

Plus people can’t really see what you’re doing and no one really goes up there so uh

As long as you can stay quiet you’re never bored

Sometimes when you’re stargazing his hand will just kind of gradually go from resting on your hip to wrapping his arms around you and having you lean against his chest

You sometimes raid the fridge together in the middle of the night

You took him to mcdonalds at like 2am once

It was not the last time that happened

Totally the type to love getting matching pj bottoms with you

Really loves it when you hold his hand with both of yours

It makes him feel really loved and masculine in a good healthy way and generally good

On days when he just Needs a Distraction you try any hobby or activity you can get your hands on

His favorites so far are painting each others nails, random online flash games like papa’s, finding the best climbing trees (weather permitting), and binge watching and reviewing the weirdest shows and movies you can find

Including but not limited to flava of love, josie and the pussycats in outer space, lightning point, and clone high

The movies are usually really low budget, or questionable teen romance movies like twilight, sierra burgess is a loser, the kissing booth etc.

You still quote clone high to this day

He’s very excited for the reboot me too, magnus, me too

Doesn’t stop clowning on TJ bc of it

TJ has no fucking idea what he’s talking about

“For the last time Magnus, I’m just named after him. I’m not a clone. I don’t know John Kennedy or Abraham Lincoln, and how could I possibly know Cleopatra??? Where are you getting this from, you understood this like a week ago-”

He really likes just kind of hugging you from behind and smooching wherever he can and swaying back and forth

Tells you he loves you a lot

Really really grateful you’re in his life

Does everything he possibly can to be the best boyfriend

Cause you deserve it

Did i mention he loves you a lot lot lot

Cause he really does

Treat him right, give him a lot of love

He also blushes really easily shhh

#magnus chase #magnus chase x reader #magnus chase headcanons #magnus chase dating would include #magnus chase smut #mcatgoa

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horace-pokemon · 3 years

Text

Don’t Leave Just Yet - firstfriendshipping

I haven’t posted this on ao3 or wattpad yet so hey you guys (as well as the tokigou server) get a look into some of the fic until I’m home to publish it! <3 The full posted one might be different depending on if I edit the beginning chunk (which I wrote in November which is like the first half of what’s here so </3 Also I use gou bc it’s just what I’m used to and yeah) Anyways, hope you enjoy! ^ ^

(Edit: Full fic posted to ao3 on SAMURAl (i is an l)

--------

Thinking. It was always something that quickly turned negative, at least whenever he was left to do so in silence. The quiet, often uninterrupted moments, always had him sinking further into the depths of his worries. First it was if he should even trust Ash, then it was if doing so would end badly, only leading him down the road of what he thought had taken place with Tokio. Now, just as things were beginning to properly align for him, Gou was thinking of the stories Ash told him of previous companions. Ones that he left behind for the next region.

So, would that mean... no! Shaking his head he tried to get rid of the thought, rolling over from his stomach onto his side, sad blue eyes looking at the moonlight that shone into the room. Letting out a shaky breath he clutched a handful of his shirt, eyes narrowing as he tried not to let it get the better of him. It could happen though. He was friends with everyone he traveled with, so what if he was just another companion? Biting the inside of his cheek Gou could feel tears poking at the corners of now-watery blues, hand trembling as he pulled his legs up higher.

“Agh! Shut UP!”

“Gou? Gou, was that you?” Arceus, he said that out loud… stupid emotions! Internally cursing himself the boy quickly pulled the sheets over his head, curling further into a ball, tightly shutting his eyes and trying to steady his breathing. Just stay quiet and still until Ash falls back to sleep. Simple, right? The creak of a bed from below had him panicking, teeth pressing hard against the other row, holding himself back from letting out the smallest sniffle. “Gou, I know you’re awake. You never talk in your sleep.” Why was he suddenly louder now?

Sucking in a deep breath he wiped his eyes from under the blanket, slowly pulling it down to peek at the foot of his bed, shocked and panicked to see Ash leaning over the railing that the ladder was attached to. Quickly Gou narrowed his eyes, putting on a tired and annoyed expression, pouting out his lips to even add to it as he looked away. “It was just a bad dream where you talk my ears off, is all. Go back to sleep.” Giving a huff he tried to keep acting, shutting his eyes and pressing the side of his face into the pillow.

He’ll leave you too, you know.

That cruel mind of his kicked in yet again, mouth agape for a moment as he shook for a moment, a weird but pained sound coming from the depths of his throat. Dangit! “What’re you waiting for? Just… just go back to sleep!” Barely holding himself together now, Gou slightly raised his voice, words only cracking as he spoke them in return. His composure quickly crumbled down as fast as he had put it up, pulling the blanket up over his head again as tears threatened to slip down cheeks.

The bed sunk by his feet as he could sense Ash moving closer, freezing up when feeling a hand grab his one cover from the world, hearing a sigh before the bed then sunk right behind him. “It’s okay if you’re sad, y’know. You can just tell me what’s wrong.” Trying to comfort Gou, the trainer moved a hand to rest on his back, fingers gently caressing in slow smooth circles. Ash didn’t understand what could put the boy in such a small and pained state, though. Was someone making fun of him again? Maybe it was the past creeping up on him? Piecing possibilities of what could be wrong was proving to be difficult, finding it hard to properly read Gou, only knowing for sure that he was sad. At first the catcher had each and every page to his book in plain sight, and now it seemed as if he put a lock on that with no key to be found.

“I-It’s, um… it’s stupid, r-really.” Weakly laughing he wiped his cheeks using the sleeves of his pajamas, tears staying back at the corners of his eyes, growing before spilling over yet again, emotions feeling like a running faucet dripping to the ground. He already admitted this was stupid, so why couldn’t he stop crying? Wanting to check that Ash was still there he glanced behind him, feeling a tightness grow in his chest when their eyes met, the hand on his back now feeling too hot for comfort. It felt bad to lie, but…

Ash got just a moment to see the small shimmer of wet stains on Gou’s face, dim moonlight just barely shining through, trying to offer a small sweet smile as he scooted over beside him. “Gou, if it has you this upset, it’s not stupid... you can talk to me. I’m your friend, right?” Intending for the question to come off as reassuring, he watched as instead the boy’s body tensed up, looking further away from him now.

“Why?” Now pulling his knees up and closer to himself Gou tightly held onto them with his arms, nails pressing against legs as he finally let himself to fully look at the other face-to-face. Seeing Ash’s confused look he couldn’t help but feel frustration begin to grow, pressing rows of teeth against each other before opening his mouth again.

“Why did you leave them, Ash? They were your friends, I- I’m your friend! If you cared so much then… then why would you leave?” Started as a shout he only felt the anger die out as fast as it arrived, voice breaking multiple times as he continued on, throat dry now as he searched in his mind for answers. “Are... Are you going to leave me too?” Barely speaking at a whisper now he couldn’t bring himself to ask anything else. He couldn’t even figure out if he’d want answers to anything else anyways.

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kiefbowl · 3 years

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ew why tf are you dating a scrote

okay this is clearly a troll, but I’ll answer anyway since this seems to be a topic of interest to people lately. I wrote a lot and talked about sexual assault, so go ahead and skip it if that’s not your jam. disclaimer: I don’t have a problem or think there’s anything wrong with people who don’t want to follow me bc of the bf. that’s legitimate! please do what suits you. I think some of my responses have been perceived as snarky in the past but I only try to be snarky when I suspect a troll, I really don’t have a problem with people unfollowing me b/c of the bf or even telling me about it.

I worked with Malcolm for about a year and a half before we go together, but we got together for the first time 5 months after I had a brief but intense love affair with a meth addict that ended in big traumatic ways after he started using heavily again, which eventually cultivated in him raping me (not that it was the only sexual violence I experienced with him but that time was particularly horrific because I was heartbroken and he was high on meth). he was also a man, and the reason I started dating him isn’t so clear to me except that I was looking for a way to live recklessly and self harm. There’s a longer story there but the details can’t be told concisely and it’s no one’s business. In any case, everything that happened with him is not worth recounting, but it was long and complicated and continued even after the rape. To give some context about how bad it was, I also had worked with the meth addict (I’m not using his name on purpose), and part way through our relationship he got a new job. a couple weeks after the rape, he lost that job and got his old job back. yeah, imagine being dumped by a meth addict and the being raped by him and then he starts working with you when you know he is using now. not fun, pretty sad to think about.

I was in a very traumatized state for months. It’s hard to describe what it’s like, except you don’t feel like you’re living. You can feel very foreign to your own life. I felt like something inside of me was constantly pressing against me to get out, and if it did it would be me screaming. Like, my skin had become a suit to mask the babbling lunatic underneath. I would have random outbursts where I would wince in pain and people would ask what was up and it was just that the emotional pain was felt so sharply it became physical, but I felt like I couldn’t be honest with people. I did go to therapy, it felt like life and death. right around the time before Malcolm and I together, so a few months into therapy, my therapist gave me permission to feel okay seeking out love, sex, and relationships, because I was feeling very guilty that I might be using someone if I did. In any case, Malcolm showed up to my bday party, and was one of the last to leave, and I just was ready for the next thing after the meth addict bf. Every day I didn’t have sex, the last person I had sex with was him. I wanted to be normal again. I was feeling a little better, less freakish, but still so sad. So I said, okay Malcolm, come home with me and he did. It didn’t seem so bad to take Malcolm home with me because I wasn’t very interested in him long term, so it seemed like low stakes to end up hurting him. Low investment. Yadda yadda.

Malcolm was also convenient, he lived walking distance. he was nice, friendly, easy to hang out with. our emotional intimacy was very low, it was low low low low maintenance dating. Malcolm felt very safe, he was the polar opposite of the other bf. we had a casual, boring, unintimidating fling for a few months that sputtered out. if the other bf was like riding a roller coaster that was condemned, Malcolm was like taking a nap on the bus back home after a long exhausting day at the amusement park. I know, it’s not very sexy. But it was nice to feel like a human again, have proof I could be normal, proof I could do unsexy things like watch tv and go to brunch and it didn’t feel like I was a freak for trying after months of feeling like I had a neon sign over my head that said “idiot adult woman dated meth addict like it wasn’t going to end up fucking her over HA HA.” I was ready to go out with my new sense of normalcy and have fun with people I might be, er, to be blunt, more interested in.

BUT the most amazing thing was we stayed friends after the break up, which I had never had before. and even though the first few months of dating helped me feel normal again in a way, it turns out being raped by your meth addict ex leaves deep, painful welts. who could guess. Seeking out other relationships from scratch ended up being exhausting. When do I bring up that I’m not even a year from a meth addict raping me? Date two? I tried with other people, and it wasn’t working. I dropped dating, and focused on friends and work instead. But I missed him some days, and as things around me were starting to feel like they were crumbling again, he was there and around. He came over, smoked weed, taught me MTG, let me make him dinner, took me out to bars, listened to me cry, had gentle sex. Soon we were seeing and talking to each other every day. We spent enough time together that it became clear we were dating again, and this time around it was more enjoyable and more intimate. It felt easier to invest in our relationship the second time around because he already knew the baggage. We started dating and eventually, out of the sake of convenience, moved in together.

But if it makes you feel any better, anon who is probably not reading this, the state of my relationship is not great atm. It feels like we’re very good friends that share a bed. I always had doubts about this relationship from the beginning, I was never really crazy about Malcolm and was tentative about being exclusive. I rationalized the relationship with thoughts like “you don’t know until you try” and “maybe this love is different love, and it doesn’t feel like previous love because I still need to learn more about love.” I don’t think that’s quite it anymore. But, we live together in an unpredicted pandemic, so I sort of made my bed. Plus, it’s hard to decide to break up with someone who isn’t bad just maybe not good enough. Maybe it’s my fault? some days I wake up and think, “oh well am I really giving him 100%? if I tried harder maybe it would be better.” Maybe it’ll get better? What’s life post pandemic and when is it coming, I can’t know. I’ve been depressed, will I get better? Will it change things? I also adore his parents, they’ve been amazing to me, they inspire me. they’ve opened their hearts to me. losing them weighs heavy. I love Malcom very much, he’s been a good friend and we’ve built a nice little life together that has a lot of parts working. How do you decide what day to hurt someone you love? Idk...I guess I entered this relationship to learn.

The Meth Addict has loomed large in our relationship and casts a long shadow. I’ve talked about it with Malcolm but I’m not sure he fully understands it. almost 3 years since my birthday we hooked up. That’s a long time. It’s as long as the relationship I had with my first love. I can’t predict the full story Malcolm and I will have, but I can see a potential break up looming closer. I struggle with it every day. Some nights, like tonight, it’s seems pretty clear cut. If I think this way now it pretty much proves I want to break up, right? But tomorrow morning he’ll make me tea and we’ll talk about our weekend plans and I’ll think “oh this is so nice, what was I even thinking about last night? I’m getting in my own head.” So I don’t know! I think about women a lot. I think about how I talk frankly about my bisexuality on tumblr and yet my experiences with men outnumber that with women. I feel like I’m cheating sometimes, like I’ve lead you guys to believe something that’s not real even though I’m not lying. I think about how I never want to cheat on Malcolm but I get crushes and I want to sleep with women and I wonder if I should be a mom and I think about his parents and it gets confusing. I feel guilty about thinking about our convenience because that’s cheating him and cheating me, but sometimes I wake up happy and much happier than I’ve been in 10 years.

So I guess the reason I’m dating a scrote is because I’m complicated and have a bit of a messy life, and I live day to day, and we make micro choices that lead to macro choices and then we make macro choices that lead to micro choices, and I haven’t pulled the trigger on breaking up with him yet. He was part of the healing journey because, well, he was here. In my real life. It turns out the women we follow on tumblr are very very human with lives far more complex that can be summed up in a few posts on tumblr. Maybe ask me in 50 years why I dated Malcolm, I’ll probably have a better idea why.

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hopefully-intuitive · 3 years

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kun soulmate reading

as a birthday special for each idol of nct/wayv and bts, i’ll be doing soulmate readings! i missed Kun’s birthday on the 1st, so i’m doing his now since he’s my wayv bias and i didn’t want to wait till next year to do his. maybe i should have waited bc now i’m super curious on who his soulmate could be. this person is not what i expected, but at the same time it is? anyways, i hope you enjoy!

disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only. these are not factual and are only my interpretation of the cards.

five of cups reversed, ace of wands, king of pentacles reversed, two of swords reversed, eight of wands reversed, page of wands, emperor, four of pentacles

Kun's soulmate is definitely a character. They're this tornado of passion and energy that doesn't really care what they destroy in their path. Don't get me wrong, they're fun to be around and will be the kind of person that takes you on crazy adventures, but don't expect them to be there as a shoulder to cry on.

While they are quite energetic and a risk-taker, they still take the time to plan things out. They're highly motivated and financially savvy. Rich and powerful. This is someone who was most likely born into money. They're quite materialistic and greedy. They have more than enough, but they're the kind of rich person who hoards it. (You know the type that you see at the dollar store with a designer bag and drives a tesla.) This is someone who exudes that regal energy that makes people intimidated by them. Their quite assured and confident in themselves. Quite flashy too.

They just have this very Regina George energy and people eat it up! Everyone wants to be their friend. They're just so charming, wild and fun. While people may think they're stuck up, they're actually quite friendly. Very extroverted. They love attention and feel like they deserve it, but thats all they want. They don't want friends. This is someone who is actually quite a loner. They get bored of things and people very easily. They also are the kind of person who forgets to text back and are usually running late. I can see them being very stubborn too. They like things their way and will not hesitate to tell you why they're right and you're wrong. While they make a good peacemaker for others, their own stubbornness gets in the way in their own personal issues.

While they're quite assured financially and socially, romantically is a different story. This is someone who doesn't like making emotional decisions and just can't understand it. They don't like committing to something that they don't know is going to help them in the long run. Love is an investment to them and quite a hefty one at that. Because of this, I don't think they've been in a relationship. They'll probably be quite bossy in a relationship though. I can see possessiveness too, but they're the kind of person who takes care of what they consider "their's" and will probably shower that person in gifts or acts of love.

Physically, this is one hot person! They're very regal looking, but still have a wild vibe to them. They love wearing designer clothes, but something like gucci which is more funky and flashy in style. I feel like their style is something that an art student would wear. It's over the top and a little strange with mixing patterns and funky vintage pieces, but still looks effortlessly cool. Quite tall and lanky. While they're physically fit, this is someone who probably exercises not to be healthy, but so they fit their own idea of beauty. They definitely use their looks to their own advantage. They're a bit narcissistic. Definitely younger then him. If they have a "wand", it could be quite large or if it's someone without that appendage they could just have that kind of energy.

It looks like this relationship has been delayed so it might not come into fruition, but if Kun does end up with this soulmate, he'll have his work cut out for him. They're quite quick to anger and don't like making compromises. I can see them getting into arguments a lot because of this. I've always heard people say that Kun emits Daddy energy so maybe he'll like the brat aspect, but I didn't really read into anything of that nature.

archetypes

trickster - Transcending convention, stuffiness, and predictable behavior.

This is someone who is a bit of a misfit. They don't care what others think as long as it makes them happy and they don’t hide behind lies. They'll fight back against anything that doesn't serve them.

mediator - Gift for negotiating fairness and strategy in personal and professional life. Respect for both sides of an argument.

They want harmony and balance. They observe what's going on and will detach themselves from the situation to give an honest and unbiased resolution. Is that composed middle ground between to warring sides.

samaritan reversed - Exacting appreciation and recognition for the help you offer.

They don't do things out of the goodness of their heart. There's a price for everything whether it be good reputation, favors, or money. They decide who's deserving of their "charity" by this.

student reversed - Arrogance in the pursuit of destructive knowledge. Unwillingness to translate knowledge into action.

They could be a serial student who is constantly switching majors or could mean that they've learned something (possibly how to manipulate people) and are misusing this skill.

oracle cards

gibbous moon - You’re very close to achieving your goal.

As long as they keep working hard, things could be going very right for them. They're headed down the right path and this could even mean a possible meeting with Kun.

new moon - A new start is coming!

This is a yes card! Even if there's delays in their meeting, it's going to happen one way or another! They might even be entering a new cycle in their life that could lead to Kun.

what would love do?

While this person is not very vocal about their feelings, it'll be very clear to their s/o when they are in other ways. Like I said earlier, they will be giving gifts and doing little favors for their love because they want to when usually they would want something in exchange for this.

love is never in vain

They don't want to fall in love at the moment. They think it's a hopeless investment, but once they do it's going to change everything for them. It's going to make them realize that not everything is about what you're getting in return. I think this kind of even eludes to the fact that it might not work out with Kun, but instead be a lesson.

#wayv #wayv tarot #kpop tarot #kun tarot #kpop soulmate #wayv soulmate #kun soulmate #kun soulmate tarot #soulmate reading kpop #qian kun #qian kun tarot #nct tarot #nct wayv tarot #nct soulmate #kun #kpop soulmate tarot

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kyotarou · 4 years

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Hi!! Can you write osamu atsumu and suna with their s/o at amusement park? If it's too much you can just do one or two, thank you💕💕

amusement park date headcanons

characters: osamu, atsumu, & suna

warnings: light swearing, lil innuendo in atsumu’s but what can you expect

a/n: I don’t have Suna on my character list but I might have to add him now bc he’s adorable ahhh (* ^ ω ^)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　osamu, atsumu, + suna　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Osamu

It’s date night and you bring up the idea of going to an amusement park. Osamu’s response?:

“Who do I look like, Atsumu?”

“Well, yeah. That’s like the whole point…”

“I hate you.”

You manage to convince him by talking about the food there: funnel cake, hot dogs, pizza, you name it!

Osamu agrees since the thought of it makes you really excited and he wants you to be happy. Once he says yes, you attack him with hugs and kisses and he starts to regret his decision (but deep down he really likes these moments).

At the amusement park, you’re holding hands, practically bouncing around, pointing out all the different rides. Osamu can’t help but smile at how happy you are and you notice this.

You start teasing him about it and he goes stoic again but his heart is so warm cause this boy is so in love with you.

He insists on eating first since you forced him on this date, even though you want to go on rides and relax later. He almost caves until he sees another couple with a tray of the most delicious looking nachos and suddenly he’s just:

“Head empty, no thoughts, only nachos.”

So he buys two trays, one for you and one for him cause he still loves you after all and would never leave you behind. You only eat half and give the rest to him but you grow concerned with how much he’s stuffing into his mouth since you’re supposed to go on rollercoasters after.

He assures you and says he can stomach it. You disagree, but Osamu is stubborn.

You’re having so much fun as you drag him ride after ride. When you look over he is pale. This man is GHOSTLY and he’s starting to look a little green.

“Uhm, let’s take a break.”

He nods and you lead him to a bench, rubbing his back while he stares blankly at the ground. He gets up so suddenly which makes you jump, announces he’ll be right back, and slips into the bathroom.

It’s been about ten minutes and you’re starting to worry, phone in hand ready to call him when he comes out, color on his face restored.

“Did you throw up?”

“Yep.”

You both went home after that.

Atsumu

When you ask Atsumu to go to an amusement park with you, he combusts bc he is so excited. His inner child is screaming like !!!yes!!!please!!!

In the car he’s super giddy and starts rambling about all the cute couple stuff y’all are gonna do and it gets you excited too.

You’re staring at him in awe bc you love this boy so much and he loves you <33

Even though it was your idea, he’s the one taking the lead, going on ride after ride until your legs are shaking and you think you have a concussion.

You mention this to him with a dry ass voice because of all the screaming and his snarky little ass is like:

“I can think of another ride that’ll make you scream ;)”

“Tsumu, there are kids here!”

“Why don’t we have our own?”

“I hate you.”

You become his chaperone cause he gets distracted by everything he sees, especially in the arcade area where those giant teddy bears catch his eye.

He gets this smug look on his face and drags you to one of those game stands and pays up. The worker hands him three basketballs and you’re like, “Tsumu wrong sport-”

He winks at you and this mf SETS THE BASKETBALLS… AND MAKES IT IN!!!

The worker is like WTF since those hoops are purposefully rigged but it’s whatever.

Atsumu hands you the giant teddy bear he won and you nearly collapse because it’s almost as big as you.

A few people stare and scream, “Couple goals!”

Both of you are like, “Hell yeah, that’s my s/o.”

You go home, worn out but glad the two of you had a fun date.

Suna

Before you can ask, Suna hits you with a, “No.”

“?? I didn’t even say anything?? But okay if that’s what you want.”

“Wait no I’m sorry baby please tell me.”

You bring up the idea of going to an amusement park for date night and he says no again.

He prefers spending time with you alone and in more intimate settings, like a sweet candlelit dinner or cuddling till you fall asleep.

But the sad look on your face changes his mind and he reluctantly agrees.

At the amusement park, he’s pretty quiet and lowkey scared of the rides (especially the ones that have those crazy corkscrews) but plays it off as laziness.

You beg him to go on at least one and he ends up having a blast but doesn’t admit it. His legs are a little wobbly afterwards, but you catch him, and he presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

You go on more rides, holding hands and nuzzling your face in his neck.

After each rollercoaster ride, you check the screen in the gift shop where they display all the pictures, and in every one Suna has the most unamused face while you’re laughing or screaming.

He’s also dead silent on rides. Sometimes you forget he’s there until the end.

He seems to enjoy the food and arcade more since he can be alone with you. When you’re playing those shooting games, he gives you a back hug and rests his head on top of yours with the most gentle expression.

Suna starts growing tired so you end the date pretty early. At home, the two of you curl up in bed, him being the big spoon.

“How was it?” you ask

He places a kiss to the back of your head and whispers, “It was okay.”

You feel his smile against your hair. He won’t say it out loud, but that was the most fun he’s ever had.

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