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saturnsbabyboii · 11 months

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🧿Ruler of the 12th house Through the Houses🧿

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

🧿Meaning and Symbolism of the 12th House🧿

The Twelfth House is the House of the Unconscious, the House of the Unseen, the House of Sorrow, Loss, Shadow, the Inner World, and Invisible Enemies. It is ruled by the sign Pisces and the planet Neptune (Jupiter in classic Western).

The unconscious state can help us create successes and cope with failures. This house could be called the House of Retribution and Fate because it is here we review where we have been, where we are, and decide where we are going. It also discusses hidden strengths and weaknesses. While placements in this house have an active role, the sign that resides over it and its planet of rulership and placement acts as a gateway into our psyche's deeper and hidden aspects. Our subconscious works tirelessly on our behalf to make sense of our lives. This shadow play is slow, drawn out, and frequently fraught with fear and pain. We are confronted with our sorrows, suffering, and the secrets we keep from ourselves and others.

Here we meet the outcomes of everything we've done. This emphasizes repressed desires and restraint even more. What we have created in our lives is a significant theme of the Twelfth House ruler placement, and we will deal with it both consciously and unconsciously. The unconscious can teach us a lot. We will be prompted to be charitable in its most noble form. We are better equipped to move forward if we learn our lessons, both past and present. The Twelfth House compels us to seek spiritual closure to aid positive growth. The twelfth house shows how you undermine yourself. It's also referred to as the house of secret enemies. But if you think about it, these enemies are very often in the place where you'd never look for them: in yourself. It contains many patterns of behavior that don't serve us Or are straightforward destructive! Loops that are repeating themselves over and over harm us in many ways. The worst is that you aren't even aware of them, and it often takes years to realize that something isn't right (this is why I love astrology, it quickens up the process of self-discovery).

Often, you build your own prisons. Most people are the captives of their own limitations and false beliefs. A way to let go is by finding the connection with the source. The twelfth house in your natal chart suggests issues holding you back. The last house ruler also recognizes where we can feel stuck and confined. It governs places that restrict freedom, such as prisons, hospitals, institutions, and asylums, to name a few. Danger, secret enemies, and secret affairs add to the lugubriousness of the Twelfth.

On the other hand, this house champions positive transformations. This is where we stand on the ridge and decide how to proceed. We can learn about the future by visiting the unconscious and meeting with the past. If the 8th is the house of cycle death and transformation, the 12th house is the house of the ultimate end, soul ascension.

-Note: This is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as professional advice.-

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 1st house🧿

The ruler of the 12th in the 1st can indicate that you have a deeply spiritual and intuitive nature. You may have a strong connection to the subconscious mind and are highly in tune with your emotions and those of others. As a result, you may naturally tap into the spiritual realm and receive messages or guidance from higher powers.

Mirroring yourself and being aware of your surroundings have been significant issues in your life. Depending on the signs/placements/aspects, you may be overly concerned with yourself, the impressions you leave, your place in the world, who you are, and how you can improve or change yourself and the world as a collective. This placement can also suggest a tendency towards self-sabotage or self-destructive behaviors, so staying grounded and aware of any negative patterns in your life is necessary. You need to be more open to expressing yourself and be completely authentic. Understanding grief, pain, solitude, loss, escapism, and the unknown and becoming aware of self-defeat and destructive behaviors will improve the relationship between your outer conscious persona and your inner true unconscious self.

Your emotions are one of the first things people notice about you. You wear your heart out for the world to see; even though your first impression is mysterious and difficult to pin down, your emotional state radiates through. This may make you feel like an outcast or an extraterrestrial. As such, you can form an internal image of yourself as a victim or someone who has suffered enough from the outside world. Your ability to express yourself is limited by your worldview and other people's perceptions. You may withdraw from your surroundings to maintain a sense of self and identity. Be wary of falling victim to constant daydreaming, escapism, and substance abuse (in extreme cases). You draw attention to your suffering, and your outlook on life is shaped by your encounters with unexplainable supernatural or paranormal events. You might feel isolated. People notice you as you have a spiritual perspective with a mystical and difficult-to-fully-grasp aura.

Be wary of associating with people who do not have your best interests at heart, as you undermine yourself. The 12th house deals with secret enemies, and yours may influence how you present yourself and your appearance. Don't fall victim to alleged healers, abusive lovers, enablers, difficult therapists, and associating with people of an unsavory caliber. Keep an eye out for red flags and people that force getting to know you hastily. Trust your gut feeling and intuition regarding what enters your life and what you're willing to share.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 2nd house🧿

The positioning of the 12th ruler in the 2nd suggests that there may be some hidden or subconscious fears or anxieties around money, possessions, or self-worth. As a result, you may feel the need for privacy and solitude when it comes to financial matters.

Finding solace, engaging in psychic activity, and recognizing self-sabotage all contribute to financial stability, defining personal values, and accumulating possessions. On top of that, incorporating meditation, dream work, and spiritual practice can positively impact your self-worth and self-esteem. However, experiencing intense grief and loss can have a negative effect on your self-esteem and make it difficult for you to recover from hardships quickly.

You may feel the urge to escape from the reality of working for a living, particularly when you can't afford the things you desire. This can have a severe impact on your mental health. Consider working in an environment that aligns with your intuition or imagination. You may also have a strong attachment to your belongings and a desire to become one with them. Engaging in dreamwork, meditation, spirituality, and counseling could help you increase your income or attain financial security. It's important to recognize that your escapes from reality can influence your financial stability, but you can use your alone time to increase your net worth and earn more money.

Having time alone is crucial for your well-being, as seclusion and isolation play a significant role in your spiritual growth. You may attend retreats to boost your self-esteem and self-worth. Participating in charitable work can help you put things into perspective and align your purpose in life with your values, particularly when loss and grief impact your values. When it comes to self-worth and money, it's easy to lose your boundaries. An unhealthy attachment to money and possessions can lead to self-destruction.

You may spend money as a way to escape, numb, or improve your mental state. However, depleting your resources can lead to stress and dependence. You may also fantasize about having more money. It's important to take time for self-reflection and trust your intuition when making financial decisions. Seeking the advice of a trusted financial advisor or therapist may also be helpful. Your spirituality, constant desire for growth, and good use of intuition are qualities to be proud of. Prioritize your well-being, and don't let money or possessions define your sense of self.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 3rd house🧿

The placement of the 12th house ruler in the 3rd house can significantly impact how a person thinks and communicates. This placement suggests a tendency to keep secrets and maintain privacy in daily interactions, as well as an interest in spiritual or mystical topics and a desire to uncover deeper meaning in intellectual conversations.

Furthermore, this placement can aid in communication, information gathering, and everyday interactions by providing solace, escapism, and awareness of self-sabotage. Those with this placement may be drawn to topics such as psychic and paranormal phenomena, conspiracy theories, folklore, kidnappings, and missing persons. They may even write about their experiences in prison or mental institutions or on topics related to mental health, spirituality, and the paranormal.

Individuals with this placement may work in fields such as hospital dispatch, prevention helplines, school counseling, or group-focused healing. They may also have a talent for singing and prefer one-on-one communication over group settings.

However, this placement can also lead to preoccupation with sorrow, grief, and loss, which may affect communication in everyday situations. These individuals desire meaningful connections with others and often incorporate their dreams and fantasies into their conversations and writing. Walking is a way to connect with the inner selves. However, they may also have experienced loss in their relationships with siblings. They can also be hidden enemies. Placing the 12th house ruler in the 3rd house can provide a unique perspective on communication style and internal information processing.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 4th house🧿

According to astrology, the ruler of the 12th in the 4th may cause hidden emotions or past traumas to affect your home life and family relationships. To improve emotional security, familial relationships, roots, and heritage, it is recommended to release grief and sorrow, practice solitude, and become aware of self-sabotage. Loss and grief can impact your psychological makeup, while loneliness can affect your emotional security. Dreams also have an impact on your emotional well-being.

You may experience sadness and loss through family relationships and grief and sorrow through parental relationships. You might welcome people down on their luck into your home and volunteer at a homeless shelter. However, you might also live with people who do not care about your well-being, and your secret adversaries might be right in your own home.

Privacy and alone time are important to you at home, and family ties can sometimes contribute to self-undoing. Encounters with your ancestors or roots may also contribute to self-undoing, as it is a family tradition. You might have a dreamy or otherworldly presence in your home and family, and you may practice spirituality, prayer, and meditation in the privacy of your own home.

Addressing these issues and working on healing is important to create a more harmonious living situation. This placement also indicates a need for solitude, introspection, and the potential for psychic or intuitive abilities. Exploring these spiritual gifts and utilizing them in your daily life is recommended. Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from trusted friends or professionals.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 5th house🧿

With the position of the ruler of the 12th in the 5th house, you have a strong inclination towards expressing your creativity through spiritual or subconscious themes. Your personal experiences in finding solace, escape, engaging in psychic activity, and even self-sabotage are all influential factors in the way you channel your creativity, hobbies, risk-taking, romantic pursuits, and interactions with children. Notably, even your grief and sorrow can contribute to your creative work, such as music, art, theater, photography, or dance, which can have a dreamlike quality and may even involve entities from other worlds.

Your passion for physical self-expression is evident in your participation in sports programs and artistic endeavors and your involvement in charitable activities related to it. However, when alone, you tend to express your spirituality through creative pursuits, such as writing spiritual music, creating spiritual imagery, and meditating on paintings. You also have a strong interest in surreal photography and exploring spirituality and the paranormal.

It is important to note that your relationships with children may trigger feelings of grief and sorrow, and you may struggle with self-sabotage in matters of pleasure and romance. Therefore, to experience personal growth and fulfillment, you must delve deeper into any underlying fears or limiting beliefs that may prevent you from thoroughly enjoying these aspects of life.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 6th house🧿

The positioning of the ruler of the 12th in the 6th house indicates that you may have a tendency to withdraw from work or health-related activities and prefer solitude. This could make it difficult for you to maintain a routine or a healthy lifestyle, leading to feelings of guilt or inadequacy.

You find solace, escape, and psychic activity in activities that help improve your health, work, routine, and animal interaction. Your interactions with animals may lead to feelings of sadness and loss, but they also help you connect with your spiritual side. You receive health advice through your dreams and working with charities is a regular part of your routine. However, working in places like hospitals, prisons, or other institutional settings is also a regular part of your job, exposing you to grief, loss, and sadness. You deal with grief one step at a time.

Your desire to escape reality affects your work. You dislike routine, office jobs, or conforming to set schedules. You may be unfocused at work and daydream a lot, but you bring creativity to your daily work. You may feel loss and sorrow through interactions with coworkers and employees. They may be your secret enemies, and you are more likely than others to lose your job due to your own undoing or that of a coworker. You want your work to be a part of you, but it may also bring you suffering through servitude.

You feel more comfortable completing daily tasks when you are alone, but you need to work on being more methodical when it comes to your health. You approach your interests from a spiritual perspective and practice meditation to improve your health. Health problems may cause you grief and loss, and too much alone time may also be detrimental to your health. You have a creative approach to nutrition and health. You communicate with spirits through animals, have a strong appreciation towards spirit representations of animals, and build strong emotional bonds with animals. However, your self-undoing may also come through animals.

It is important to remember that self-care is crucial to your well-being, and seeking support from others can help you overcome any challenges you may face. So stay positive and persevere to find a balance that works for you and achieve success in your personal and professional life.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 7th house🧿

When the ruler of the 12th house is positioned in the 7th house, it can indicate a significant correlation between concealed apprehensions and intimate relationships. This specific placement may suggest that the individual might encounter difficulties in releasing past traumas or hidden secrets within their relationships. Furthermore, it can indicate a desire for privacy and a need to keep certain aspects of their relationships hidden from others. Releasing grief and sorrow, solitude, escapism, psychic activity, and becoming aware of self-sabotage serves cooperation, conflict, significant partnerships, and negotiations.

You experience sadness and loss through substantial relationships. You get in touch with your spiritual side through marriage and committed partnership. You marry an ex-con. Dreams show you your marriage partner. You have an otherworldly, spiritual connection with your significant other. Involvement with people who need help affects your significant relationships. Your grief and sorrow affect your relationships. You express sadness to your partners. Your approach to significant relationships is dreamy and unfocused. You bring imagination to your partnerships. You sabotage yourself in significant partnerships. You want to experience complete bliss with your partner. You experience complete merging with your partner. Your partner desires to escape from reality as much as you do. You lose your boundaries when it comes to significant relationships. You transcend boundaries through significant relationships.

Your experiences with loss and sadness fuel a business venture. You become a lawyer on behalf of a hospital or charitable organization. Your interest in paranormal and psychic phenomena affects your significant partnerships. There is a tendency to trauma bond and develop a codependent relationship.

You experience loss, grief, and sadness when relating to others. Your desire to escape reality affects your ability to maintain a serious relationship. You experience spiritual connections with other people, particularly angelic or ethereal beings. You find release through getting to know partners intimately, whether through couple therapy or something small such as playing question and relationship games.

It is highly recommended for individuals with this placement focus on addressing and releasing any concealed fears or emotional baggage to sustain healthy and fulfilling relationships.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 8th house🧿

When the governing planet of the twelfth house is situated in the eighth house, it can exert a profound influence on an individual's existence. This celestial positioning implies a pronounced inclination towards investigating the enigmatic aspects of existence, such as the subject of death and the afterlife. Such persons with this placement may possess heightened levels of intuition or extrasensory perception, facilitating their immersion into the world of the unseen. They may also gravitate towards spiritual pursuits such as meditation, yoga, or energy healing.

However, those with this placement tend to be highly reticent and guarded about their private lives. They may harbor deeply rooted fears and insecurities, which they keep concealed from the outside world. Owing to the twelfth house's proclivity towards escapism, these individuals may be vulnerable to self-destructive or addictive behaviors.

On a positive note, this placement also signifies the potential for immense personal growth and metamorphosis. By confronting their fears and traversing the depths of their subconscious mind, individuals can attain an enhanced comprehension of both themselves and the world at large. They may also possess a natural talent for counseling and aiding others who may be undergoing similar tribulations.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 9th house🧿

If the ruler of the 12th house is located in the 9th house, it suggests a strong inclination toward seeking spiritual knowledge and higher education through introspection and solitude. In addition, this placement implies a deep interest in exploring foreign cultures and beliefs and a desire for travel and adventure. However, it is important to note that individuals with this placement may tend to escape or avoid responsibilities, as the 12th house ruler signifies a need for retreat or withdrawal from the outside world.

Engaging in activities such as seeking solace, exploring psychic abilities, and becoming aware of self-sabotage can help broaden horizons, travel, publish, and explore foreign cultures and belief systems. However, recognizing that traveling and meeting people from different countries can lead to exposure to grief and despair in the world, which may lead to feelings of sadness and loss. Moreover, one's belief system may also contribute to self-undoing, mainly if it is dogmatic or rigid.

Higher education can provide a path toward spiritual exploration, while dreams can serve as a means of travel and awaken one's, inner explorer. Religious practices may also be approached from a spiritual or otherworldly perspective. Nevertheless, loss and sadness may affect one's relationship with faith and religion and interactions with people from other cultures.

Fascination with paranormal and psychic phenomena may also influence one's belief system, while interest in such activities may fuel the desire to travel. In addition, it may inspire individuals to become journalists. First, however, it is vital to ground oneself in practical realities and pursue spiritual and intellectual interests while fulfilling responsibilities in daily life.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 10th house🧿

The ruler of the 12th house in the 10th house could mean that the person is strongly inclined towards being alone and reflecting on their career or public image. It suggests that they might have an unconscious desire to withdraw from the world and seek inner peace, but they may find it challenging to balance this with their work life.

Attaining acknowledgment and discovering a rewarding occupation can be aided by surmounting grief, isolation, evasion, and self-sabotage while heightening extrasensory perception. Nonetheless, interactions with authoritative figures may also instigate feelings of melancholy and deprivation, and aspirations and societal status can lead to self-defeating behavior. Similarly, parental bonds and reputation can also evoke sorrow. Striving towards spiritual objectives can enable you to channel your creativity and actualize your aspirations, even potentially leading to a position as a CEO. Your spiritual outlook toward career and achievements brings mindfulness to your professional pursuits, yet your encounters with sorrow and despair may impede your ascent to the top. Your fascination with paranormal and extrasensory phenomena, alongside your losses and publicly expressed dismay, may be widely acknowledged. Escapism could obstruct tangible accomplishments, rendering you renowned for your escapist tendencies. You may yearn for absolute elation and unification with your public persona, but this may result in the dissolution of boundaries and transcending them while pursuing your dreams.

To achieve a sense of harmony between these two seemingly divergent paths, these individuals must discover methods to honor their need for privacy and reflection while simultaneously pursuing their aspirations and objectives in the public sphere. Through conscientious attention to both their inner and outer worlds, those with this placement can successfully attain both personal fulfillment and professional achievement.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 11th house🧿

If an individual's ruling planet of their 12th house lies in the 11th house, they may tend to avoid social situations and feel disconnected from groups. This can pose a challenge in forming deep connections with others, despite having a strong sense of the collective unconscious and a desire to aid others through spiritual or humanitarian activities. Furthermore, this placement may imply a need for solitude for clarity and rejuvenation. Through the release of emotions and embracing alone time, one can form connections with like-minded individuals, work towards social reform, achieve long-term goals, and foster friendships and admirers. This arrangement also allows one to explore psychic abilities and overcome self-destructive behavior.

Participating in social causes and making friends can positively affect one's ability to cope with feelings of sadness and loss. However, group participation can also lead to self-destructive behavior due to mob mentality or groupthink. Therefore, balancing the internal world and social interactions is crucial to enrich one's life. The desire to become involved in spiritual activities with like-minded people with similar interests and goals can be a powerful motivator to become a social reformer. Dreams can offer guidance toward achieving objectives and becoming a force for positive change. While partaking in group activities can be advantageous, it is essential to ensure that one's friends share similar interests and aren't merely a means of escapism. Striking a balance between solitude and social interaction can result in connecting with one's spiritual side, forming meaningful connections with others, and accomplishing objectives.

🧿The ruler of the 12th house in the 12th house🧿

If the ruler of the 12th house is also situated in the 12th house, it could signify that the individual possesses a deep sense of introspection and spirituality. Such people may tend to withdraw from others and feel compelled to engage in self-destructive behaviors. For individuals with this placement, it is extremely important to prioritize their mental and emotional well-being since they may be susceptible to depression and escapism. It would be beneficial for them to dedicate time to dealing with their sorrows and pain, spending time alone, exploring their psychic abilities, and identifying any self-destructive tendencies that they may have.

Dealing with grief and sadness can be overwhelming and leave you feeling lost and confused. It's important to give yourself permission to process those emotions instead of trying to suppress them through meditation or isolation. While solitude can provide some comfort, it can also worsen feelings of sadness and loneliness. You may find comfort in connecting with your spiritual side if you have psychic abilities. Additionally, involving yourself in social work or charitable pursuits can help you better comprehend and empathize with those who are experiencing grief and sadness. Remember, seeking support and assistance whenever you need it, whether incarcerated or hospitalized, is perfectly acceptable.

Excessive isolation, confinement, acts of altruism, and intense emotional bonds with individuals or spiritual practices can cause self-undoing. Additionally, being overly susceptible to unconscious forces can exacerbate this issue. In such circumstances, an elevated state of awareness may encounter difficulty discerning actuality from deception.

If you wish to connect with your spiritual side, you can take two distinct paths. The first option is to fully dedicate yourself to a monastic lifestyle. The second option is to delve into the depths of your subconscious through your dreams. This process allows you to tap into the collective unconscious and better understand yourself and the world around you.

You possess a deep spiritual understanding, as evidenced by your approach toward prisoners. By counseling those in need, you can offer guidance and support to those who may feel lost or alone.

Your imagination is truly remarkable, and it's clear that you possess a high level of sensitivity. These qualities allow you to connect with others on a deeper level and to offer unique insights and perspectives that others may not be able to provide. Overall, your spiritual depth and insightful nature make you a truly remarkable individual. However, with a heightened sense of self-awareness and a solid commitment to personal growth, individuals with this placement have the potential to access profound insights and spiritual wisdom that can significantly enhance their lives.

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I hope you enjoyed this post. Please let me know what you think, I appreciate the feedback. (Even if I don't respond 😅)

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renaissanceramblings · 9 months

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All I ask is anything with M!Kylar- anything at all. I'm totally not obsessed with him or anything that would be crazy ahahaha totally don't want to hold him in a storage closet and milk him dry as I kiss his tears away

yas queen slay

I made this more of a reverse comfort + sex thing bc I need it soz

M!Kylar x AFAB!Reader

~+~

Taking Kylar to the mall was the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever done.

Godfuck, you knew he wasn’t popular, and you especially knew that your classmates weren’t kind, but you were never expecting to be in a situation like this.

Walking home quietly with his hand in yours, pretending not to notice his poorly concealed sobs and teary face.

The cruelty of the town you live in is always there, but sometimes it’s a bit easier to forget and pretend things are okay. Sometimes it’s a little easier to think that things can be good and kind.

But then you see people talking about Kylar, and prodding and poking at his every insecurity, every failure, every unsavory moment he’s ever had until he’s breaking down in public and people are looking at him as if he’s the weird one for it.

So here you are, at the door of his house pulling fucking garlic necklaces out of your bag so you aren’t torn apart by your lover’s parents while said lover is still choking on his tears.

It isn’t until you get to his room and you’re both sitting in his bed, still in silence (silence in the asylum, no one but yourself. too quiet so quiet make it stop make it stop make it stop-) that you decide to look at him.

His mouth is trembling, forced into a line to presumably hold back his cries. His face is stained with tear tracks, and his brows are furrowed, eyes red and watery and still spilling tears.

It breaks your heart.

Your hands cup his face, thumbs pressing into the skin of his cheekbones and rubbing soft, soothing circles into his skin. You look at him with a pitying, gentle glance.

“Oh, baby.”

And Kylar breaks.

Because everyone in this godforsaken place is vile, and you are his only salvation. Because everyone here is hard, and cracked around the edges, and you are gentle and soft. Because here, where he is safe, the rest of the town is outside, and you are here, with him.

He’s leaning into you, hanging onto you like a lifeline, and it’s all you can do to keep yourself from crying, too. (How long has it been since someone has held you without intent to hurt? How long since someone besides Kylar had held you so gently? Lovingly? Adoringly?)

You don’t realize you’re crying too until Kylar looks at your face and starts crying harder, at which point you’re both messes.

You hold each other with the kind of tenderness that only two broken people an possess, and you’re not sure whether to be grateful for this connection or mourn what had to be done to he two of you to achieve it.

“I love you.” You’re not sure who said it.

“Love you, love you, love you, love youloveyou-“

Your lips smash into his and there is no more words, only the desperate whines and pants of your lover and yourself.

Your legs come up on either side of him, straddling him and grinding down. His hips buck against yours wildly and his hands bruise you in his tight hold, but you can’t bring yourself to mind. (You are each other’s beginning, and you will make sure he is your end.)

Kylar lets out a moan against your lips—you swallow it greedily. Your hands tear at each other’s clothes and caress the skin underneath.

He removes himself from against your lips to mouth at your tits, your hands finding a home in his hair as your cunt drools against his thick cock pressed up against you.

“Kyla-ahn!”

He flips you over; desperate, frenzied, frantic, licking and biting like a man starved. He sucks bruises onto your skin with a passion, thinking of you all pretty on his cock, marked up as his, his, his. You’re moaning and writhing against him and Kylar thinks that the events of today may have been worth it, if he gets to see you underneath him like this.

Pressed flush against your skin, he thinks he’s going insane. (He thinks he already is.) “Let me fuck you, please let me fuck you, please please please-“

With lidded eyes, you look up at him.

“Fuck me, Kylar.”

And that’s all he needs.

One second you’re making eye contact and the next your head is thrown back as your cunt clenches around him.

God, he’s so big. No matter how many times you fuck, he always manages to force the breath from your lungs with the stretch that follows.

You feel like you’re breaking apart, he’s tearing you into two. And still, you want more, more, more. (More of his love, more of his devotion, more of his absolute worship of all things you. He’s going to ruin you for anyone who isn’t him again and you can’t fucking wait.)

His head is forced in the space between your neck and shoulders, drooling and babbling about how you’re his, and no one else’s. About how if someone tries to get in the way he’ll fucking end them and their entire bloodline, because he loves you. All the while he is rutting into you like an animal, grinding against your cunt as you swallow him whole.

He is frantic. You are desperate. Only one thought pervades your minds. You were made for each other. (A match made in hell. Pray that no soul is unfortunate enough to attempt to come between you.)

You are sent over the edge, spasming and shaking, moaning like a whore. Kylar soon follows.

You are filled up, hot and thick cum painting your walls white as his cock twitches and jumps within you. You hope he’ll never leave you.

Heavy breaths fill the room. He lifts his head up and leans it against yours. The two of you are sweaty and exhausted.

You look at each other, and a single word reverberates throughout the room.

“Mine.”

(You’re not sure who said it.)

#dol x reader #kylar the loner x reader #degrees of lewdity x reader #kylar the loner #dol #kylar dol #dol kylar #degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity kylar #kylar x reader #kylar the loner dol

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queerautism · 2 months

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This is absolutely fucking sick and disgusting. The government of this country is irredeemable.

The people dealing with these kids didn't even pass proper DBS clearances. They are not qualified and do not have proper checks and balances in place, this is an absolutely huge safewarding concern with such a vulnerable population.

They are also fucking over a lot of people with perfectly legal, valid claims for asylum.

They were producing and sending the interview invitation letter and the failure to attend interview letter on the exact same day. They are also apparently operating on unpublished secret policy, to deny people their claim, that contradicts their public published policy. This has already been found unlawful for them to do in the past, but it's still happening.

They are quietly pausing applications of people who meet the entry requirements and just. Not telling them they've done so. Leaving their whole life in limbo for no reason, without their knowledge.

The Home Office is genuinely fucking evil.

#uk news #Kinds just want to fucking scream

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devsgames · 3 months

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On Scoping And Idea Management for Games

I started my teaching gig (which is incredibly chaotic but I'm very much enjoying it despite that) and I noticed a really consistent theme with some student project pitches around the idea of planning and scoping projects. Some advice that I gave them that I think is worth repeating and reinforcing here:

You are not a AAA studio. Do not plan to make games like a AAA studio.

If your concept, premise, pitch or idea of a game that you actually want to finish contains elements, mechanics or concepts that is predominantly executed by AAA studios, please for the love of god don't expect to be able to execute them without brutally interrogating them first.

Things like: Soulslike game balance, 'open world', heavily systemic design, online multiplayer, complex mechanics, etc. You know, things you largely only see AAA studios (or very experienced dev teams) complete with any semblance of success. There's a reason many of these are only executed by large teams.

This isn't to say it's impossible to execute on these ideas or that it's not worthwhile experimenting with it a little, but if you're going into it with little previous development experience and expect to come out the other end with a 'finished' thing, you're overscoping and setting yourself up for failure.

Ever notice how AAA studios even struggle to execute complex concepts like that? It's not (always) because of mismanagement, but also because it's often overscoped for them too and they are incredibly hard to execute. AAA studios often work on concepts and premises which require a lot of resources to do so effectively. Indie studios don't often make these kinds of games for the same reasons, because conceptually it will easily explode your scope out of the water. Some try, and you can often feel how stretched thin they were.

The point is, you (assuming as a reader that you're an individual with no 'fully' shipped titles) are equivalent to...basically 1/2 a person at an average indie startup. If you have a team, then you're basically the size and scale of a small indie team. Realistically, in all likelihood, you do not have the knowledge, experience or time to do it anywhere nearly as well as a full-time studio production.

And I get why people fall into this trap!

We draw inspiration from what we see most and what we like, and don't often challenge our assumptions about them - it's why we see something like a Batman Arkham Asylum combat system or Photorealistic graphics and say "yeah I could do that easy" without realizing it's actually really really hard to do in the first place, let alone really get right. Studios are notoriously secretive about process, and the reality is there's months and months of unseen work behind pretty much everything.

We also tend to use blanket terms we're familiar with to define our works, as opposed to more fitting terms. For example, some people might call something like Journey an "open world" game, despite the fact it's not strictly an "open world" but rather a linear one with a non-linear presentation.

As a solo developer I too constantly make this mistake of over-scoping or underestimating just how hard it can be to execute on certain concepts or ideas.

Avoiding It

So how do you get around accidentally writing cheques only well-equipped studios can cash? You need to interrogate your ideas a lot more.

Okay, now ask yourself: Is it mostly a premise that is done by people operating at around your level of resources, or by dedicated groups with tons and tons of employees? Has anyone done your mechanic at a small, simple scale? How many studios have done it? What size were they? How many resources do they have? If anyone has executed a similar idea, how many resources did they seem to have to do it? What corners did it seem like they need to cut to get there? Ask yourself how often you see concepts like yours, executed at scale like yours. Ask yourself why that might be.

A generic example to run with: "I am going to make an open world exploration game where you can climb anywhere, with tons of content and things to do".

Ask yourself some of the above questions, and also interrogate all your definitions. What do you define as "open world"? "exploration"? "tons"? "anywhere"? "Climb"? What do these words, specifically, mean to you? Are these reasonable and realistic expectation for the amount of time you have for this project? Have you already executed on any of these before, and how many are unknown to you?

"But Devon, my idea is unique and no one has done it before! I have nothing I can compare it to!"

Nope. Sorry, just no - you're wrong. Maybe they've not done it exactly like you envision it, but I promise you that at this point in time someone has done virtually everything in games before, you've just not heard of it yet. I have yet to hear someone describe a game that didn't do anything I hadn't heard of before to some degree or another. Ask some friends for references and take more time to do research - you'll find parallels if you dig enough.

Execution

If by now you've realized you might be in over your head, you might still be able to do it if you plan very smartly around it and accept scoping down.

I could talk forever about how to break down your scope into something that is more manageable (and probably will in the future), but I'll keep it focused on this idea of interrogating definitions for now.

Running with the "open world exploration game where you can climb anywhere, with tons of content and things to do" example.

Plan to do only one of the verbs in your game really well.

"Climbing" - you could spend forever building a game just around that verb, and people have! Getting Over It With Bennet Foddy. Doodle Jump. Grow Home. People have done this, and even those games tow the line of being complex to make.

"Open world" - this one is very heavy, but make it just about walking around. Challenge the assumption that an open world isn't enough and that it needs 'content' - just make walking around the world really fun. Dear Esther, Proteus, Passage, Beginner's Guide.

"Exploration" - this verb is vague and takes many forms, and while it can easily be dangerous if it gets too big, it can still be small and engaging. A Short Hike, Umurangi Generation, Hidden Folks. You don't need mechanical complexity or depth to make something fun.

Start from that and then expand. Maybe you get to a point where your climbing is really fun and good and you don't even need to add tons of things to do, or open-world mechanics. Maybe your open world is so easy to do that climbing becomes the thing you spend your time on.

---

Essentially the point here is to not assume that because you've seen something done before it's easy to execute on, nor that you should simply run with concepts without fully understanding what you mean when you come up with them first. It's going to not only save you a lot of time and stress, but also more likely to put you in a position where you'll be able to actually finish what you started.

This is also only the tiniest portion of my thoughts on scoping here, so I'm sure I'll add more to this down the road. :)

#gamedev #game development #game dev #indie games #indie game #gamedevelopment #indiegames #indie dev #indiedev #thoughts #advice #production #game production

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decolonize-the-left · 4 months

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Hey y'all please watch this and share it around, my father in law is so proud of this and Im proud of him for it. Look at him getting them in frame, he's so excited to contribute and doing work on the ground!

If you love people or hate ICE then watch this and skip to 13:30 when the conference starts

Alright so this group helps asylum seekers at the southern border by providing things like food, drink, tents, and shelter. They have formed a small tent city at the border as well because the asylum seekers are told that if they leave the outside detention site they'll get deported.

This is them addressing bold face lies that San Diego county has told in addition the failure to meet expectations and provide things themselves.

One of the lies is that the county claims the money being used to support asylum seekers come from taxpayers but it was THIS GROUP and others who raised funds. Upwards of $60k.

This is after they ignored the groups request for funding.

They touch on the corruption of sending funding to a large, unhelpful nonprofit where most funding goes to staffing rather than people migrating. They amount was $6 million and the Free Shit Collective is surprised at how fast the money is going without any substantial changes for the asylum seekers.

Also if you helped them earlier in my previous post, there's a thank you for anyone who donated. Bonus: you are now personally involved in the lies that San Diego is telling about the border and claiming YOUR donations dont exist and that the money is actually from the state.

Also resource links and how to help! I know how much y'all love those!!

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the-modern-typewriter · 1 year

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Okay so I recently went through a break-up so I'm a thirsty gay guy looking for some content and you're my absolute fav on this app :) Could you (if you wouldn't mind of course) write about a hero who has fallen over heals for a villian with low self-esteem who doesn't realise he isn't all that bad and was forced into this life? Maybe with some cuffs just for the spice😅 Preferably mlm but I'm a sucka for the person who won't stop flustering their crush by over complimenting them😭

"Well," the hero said. "Here we are again."

The villain looked up at the hero, standing over them. His hands were already cuffed behind his back, and, honestly, he was feeling thoroughly dishevelled. It had all happened so fast. He'd lost so fast.

The hero barely had a perfect hair out of place. He hadn't even broken a sweat! It seemed very unfair.

The villain half expected to already hear police sirens in the distance.

"You know," the hero said, hands on his hips. "I'm starting to think your heart isn't in this scary criminal thing."

"What, because I'm crap at it?" The villain wanted to sink into the floor.

"Mm, no. You're very good at it, actually. I think you just don't want to hurt me." The hero flashed them a smile. "Thank you for that, by the way."

The villain looked down at his knees and away from that smile, from his failure. He tugged at the cuffs.

His powers, such as they were, were the explosive kind. He could detonate buildings and the ground where the hero stood with a flick of his hand, obliterating the large majority of his opponents immediately...providing he didn't actually mind obliterating them. Killing them.

He was supposed to be fine with that. Didn't he used to be fine with that? The villain's jaw clenched.

"It's not an insult," the hero said, a little softer. "I don't mean it as an insult. Compassion - kindness - is an admirable quality. You know that, right?"

"Are you taking me in or not?"

"No."

The villain's gaze snapped up, wide-eyed.

The hero crouched down in front of him, putting their faces level.

The villain swallowed. "No?"

"No," the hero said, oh so casual. "Don't think that would do you any good."

"Lunatic asylum, then?"

The hero smiled, faint and crooked and something unreadable. "No."

The villain's brow furrowed. Surely that didn't mean...the hero had never seemed the type to kill. The villain tensed.

"You're remarkable," the hero said. "Smart. Powerful." The small smile grew a fraction. "Gorgeous."

The villain hated the immediate and unstoppable blush that burned their cheeks at that; like each kind word, each terribly sincere piece of flattery was its own bomb going off somewhere in the villain's body. "So you're...keeping me locked in your basement?"

The hero laughed. He sobered a little at the villain's expression.

"No," the hero said. "God, no. I meant -" The hero bit his lip, and the villain's treacherous gaze followed the movement. The hero's eyes brightened. "No," the hero said. He placed a hand over the rabbit-thump of the villain's chest. "I mean that you have a kinder heart than you give yourself credit for. If you'd like to do something else with your life than - this - I would help you. In anyway that I could. I'd like to."

The villain stared at him.

"You're asking me to join you?"

"No," the hero huffed. There was something warm, fond, to his tone. "I mean, you can if you like, you'd be very welcome. But to do something else. Whatever you want."

The villain's head spun. "You don't think I want to do this? I've - do you - you do know who I am?!"

"I know your history, yeah."

"Then you'll know - you'll know that I can't just up and do something else!"

"Why not? You're certainly talented enough to try your hand at reinvention."

"I'm a killer. I am literally made for killing and burning and destroying things!"

"You didn't kill or destroy me."

"And I lost in all of three seconds for the weakness."

The hero considered him at that; his panting, fevered, broken defence.

The villain yanked at the cuffs, desperate to run, to get away from the look on the hero's face. From all of the hero's shining expectations.

"If that was it, you can uncuff me now." It sounded a little too much like please, please, please.

The hero settled back on his haunches, warm hand falling from the villain's chest. "What do you like about your current profession?"

"Are you serious right now?" Absurdly, suddenly, the villain could feel tears pricking his eyes. Frustrated things.

"Perfectly."

"It pays well."

"And that's what matters to you?"

"You've seen me, right?" By all accounts, the villain liked the finer things in life. A nice bespoke suit felt like some small compensation for everything ugly about the rest of them.

"Oh, yes," the hero said. His gaze roamed over the villain again. "Handsome, but not very happy, I don't think."

The villain's face burned all over again. "Stop it."

"Hm?"

"Stop - complimenting me. You're trying to distract me!"

"I can't just be complimenting you?"

"No!"

The loudness of it felt like a confession, and the villain squirmed. He yanked at the cuffs again, hard enough to hurt.

"Easy," the hero said, quieter.

"If you're not going to turn me in, let me go!"

"You really hate me complimenting you that much?"

The villain glared at him, the effect largely no doubt ruined by the distress coming off in waves.

"Huh," the hero said. "Because it's me or-?"

The villain yanked at the cuffs again, even harder. Blood welled up on his wrists. He could feel his breath quickening. He could -

The hero leaned in, and the lock clicked. The cuffs sprang open.

The villain was on his feet in an instant, several large steps between them, poised to bolt completely.

The hero stayed crouched, practically on his knees, hands raised in placating surrender in the air.

The villain gawped.

"Easy," the hero said again. "I'm really not trying to upset you. I didn't mean - I didn't expect that reaction. Are you okay?"

And the villain believed him, which was far worse, because what was he supposed to do with that? What the hell was he supposed to do with the hero's compassion? His smiles, and his compliments as if the villain was in anyway worthy of any of it.

"If you're embarrassed about being flustered," the hero said, "you don't have to be. You look lovely flustered. It's really endearing. I'm not-"

The villain covered his blushing face with his hands. He wanted to claw out of his flustered skin; find some control again, find a way to make the terrifying leaps of his heart settle. To stop hoping. To stop aching for - more.

"Shut up," he hissed.

The hero shut up.

The villain didn't get to have more. Not after everything. He certainly didn't get to have someone like him.

He raised his hands from his face, and waited for the hero to flinch at the threat of it, to betray the underlying horror of what the villain was, to brace himself for death.

The hero did none of those things. He simply continued to track the villain's movements - knowing who he was dealing with, but not afraid. Never afraid.

The villain's hands faltered again.

The world did not erupt in smoke and madness.

"Easy," the hero murmured, a third time. "Can you - can you explain to me why you're upset? So maybe I can help?"

The villain gave an agonised little scoff, and fled.

#possibly not that spicy #but hey ho #what happens happens #hero x villain #villain x hero #heroes #villains #writing #story #story snippet #writing snippet #creative writing #fiction #fic

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cobra-diamond · 8 months

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My "Big Nos" For Spirit Temple

With Azula in the Spirit Temple nearing publication, here are my “Big Nos” for the story that, if any happen, will cause the book to be a failure for me:

1. The Kemurikage are not purged

2. Azula continues attacking the Fire Nation as a terroristic, stateless actor

3. The asylum is not criticized for its treatment of Azula and the Kemurikage girls

4. Azula does not criticize Zuko from a nationalist, old-regime perspective, instead just whines about him like a sore loser

5. Azula’s villainy is blamed on her personality, not the war

6. Tyzula is established without regard to Azula’s or Ty Lee’s established characters, and it becomes a distraction

Keep reading for details.

1. The Kemurikage are not purged

I don’t mean they need to be killed, or literally made to vanish, but the Kemurikage as a concept needs to end. The dressing up in costumes, throwing smoke bombs, and doing dastardly things not only needs to stop but it needs to be acknowledged as a mistake. Azula and the asylum girls can still be friends, maybe even remain a “group”, but the connection to Smoke & Shadow needs to be severed, which leads to the second no:

2. Azula continues attacking the Fire Nation as a terroristic, stateless actor

This has to stop and be acknowledged as a mistake. Full stop, it ends here. It should never have happened and Azula needs to feel bad for going down this path. Either Azula fights Zuko via a legitimate civil war, or Azula has to accept the country has moved on. She cannot act as a self-serving bandit harassing her country for mind-numbing reasons. The connection to Smoke and Shadow and all it was trying to do with this must be severed. Azula can rage about the events that caused her to go down this path, but she cannot continue down it, which leads to the third no:

3. The asylum is not criticized for its treatment of Azula and the Kemurikage girls

If the abuse at the asylum is whitewashed or ignored or even justified, that will be too much internal inconsistency for me to handle. The Search already tried to establish that the asylum experience was horrible for Azula and tried to break her. Azula can desire revenge, but not against her country and her people. She knows they don’t have that power. She has to hate the people chiefly responsible for putting her there, and letting her rot there, which leads to the fourth no:

4. Azula does not criticize Zuko from a nationalist, old-regime perspective, instead just whines about him like a sore loser

Princess Azula needs to show up. The one who is willing to use fire and lightning to kill people and conquer cities. She needs to hate Zuko on political grounds. She can acknowledge positive personality traits in Zuko that cause people to “like” him more than her, and she can complain about him as would an angry sister who has had her friends and family “stolen” by him, but she does not compromise her deeply held beliefs that the war, her father, and country were right and that Zuko and the Avatar were wrong, because she has not gone through that sort of journey yet, which leads to the fifth no:

5. Azula’s villainy is blamed on her personality, not the war

This better not happen. Azula having a personality that caused people to chafe around her is not villainy, it is a flaw. Azula was a villain because she furthered the Fire Nation’s war as one of her country’s leaders while being a model example of what her father and country expected from her, in other words, everything Zuko was incapable of being. The show even said this. Lording her “rightful” power over Mai and Ty Lee and having no respect for Zuko’s "weakness" is not villainy, it is, once more, a flaw.

If the narrative blames her interpersonal flaws for why Zuko turned against his country, why Mai and Ty Lee betrayed their crown princess, why she mentally broke and ended up in an asylum with Zuko replacing her as Fire Lord, and all the other events that have functionally destroyed her life as she knew it, then that leads to unfortunate implications. It means if only she had been nicer, Aang would have been defeated and the Fire Nation victorious and Zuko would be alongside her and their father helping dominate the Earth. It means if only she had been nicer, she would have been a more effective villain because she would have had allies to help her kill Zuko and Katara during Sozin's Comet. It means the war would have been fine as long as Azula was more like Iroh, smiling and drinking tea while razing villages and conquering cities instead of doing it with a smug smirk that makes grown men (and the viewer) feel small. And through all of it, Mai and Ty Lee would have been at her side, helping take over the world as loyal, loving friends, all because Azula was nicer.

Azula’s contribution to the Fire Nation's war and her belief in Sozin's legacy is why she had to fight the heroes, is why she lost to the heroes, but if it is blamed on her being an “abuser” rather than a military officer trying to take over the world, then this will be blatant character destruction that also diminishes the roll of Sozin and his war in corroding the spirit of the Fire Nation and its royal family, which leads to the sixth and final no:

6. Tyzula is established without regard to Azula’s or Ty Lee’s established characters, and it becomes a distraction

Azula could be a lesbian. She isn’t in the show. Azula and Ty Lee could fall in love, but the franchise decided to make Ty Lee hate Azula’s guts and Azula not have anything to say about it. In fact, Azula’s love life has nothing to do with the critical elements of her character that have caused her life to fall apart. Therefore, I can only conclude that Azula’s love life does not matter since the franchise doesn't think it matters. If this happens, it will be Korrasami pinkwashing to cover up franchise failures all over again. The internal inconsistency will be too much. Azula having a girl crush on “Beach” era Ty Lee is cute and makes sense, but Azula being a self-loathing, sexually frustrated, dark lesbian who is bitter she can’t have Ty Lee makes zero sense given all that has not happened to support either of them harboring such feelings for each other, and it will inevitably end up as the focus of Azula’s character development to the detriment of all else about her.

In conclusion, I don’t know what will make Azula in the Spirit Temple a good story, but I know what will make it a disappointing one. Faith Erin-Hicks was handed a massive task. I hope she was successful.

#avatar the last airbender #azula #avatar comics #atla meta #azula in the spirit temple

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jacquesthepigeon · 5 months

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Adrien as a victim is handled so fascinatingly Bad. He’s Perfect™️ bc he doesn’t fight back or hold resentments against his father to a significant degree, he just pouts and makes it somebody else’s problem and he’s not even portrayed in the wrong for it. He is Loving and Dedicated to his father despite having little reason to be. And when he isn’t he is Punished for it. Heck, the one time he stood up for himself and it worked out well was bc Gabriel had a change of plans completely unrelated to Adrien standing his ground; realistically, if not with the outside factors influencing Gabriel, Adrien would’ve been punished for it again. And they have the gall to make him go “I should’ve done this all along!” as if the fault for his failures in facing his dad lie in him and not the fact that Gabriel is a used soggy diaper. (Don’t get me wrong I want the boy to grow a spine but realistically he’d be powerless against his dad). Adrien is sad and traumatized bc of his upbringing except now that they’re trying to portray Gabriel positively, it doesn’t matter. Heck, Adrien should be thankful that Gabriel is so strict and controlling bc otherwise he’d have ended up evil! For fucks sake. So now Gabriel’s dead and, after his last interaction with him was being trapped in an asylum-style room and having his image used against his consent, Adrien wants to be like him. Breaking the cycle of abuse who? Even with Gabriel in eeby deeby, Adrien is not allowed to resent his father, to have complicated feelings regarding his father, to acknowledge his father as the root of his trauma, he cannot Disrespect Gabriel’s legacy in any way. That’s how he stays a Perfect Victim and not a Problem Child deserving of their abuse. I hate this show.

#sorry for the word vomit i just wanted to get this out and couldn’t be assed to organize it better

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blackautmedia · 2 months

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Per the Tweet:

In today’s episode we follow the journey of Abdul Bakhit which exemplifies the unique struggles and aspirations of each migrant and refugee, individuality amidst inhumane circumstances only invites us to humanize their stories, honor their struggles, and recognize the inherent worth in each life affected by displacement as today in Sudan. Victim of the shipwreck off Tunisia 7.2.2024.

🧵 6/40

Abdul Bakhit Khamis Muhammad, born on December 6, 2000, in Central Darfur, Wadi Saleh Garsila locality, was the fourth child in his family, with two elder sisters and an elder brother. His father, a retired wounded veteran soldier, and his mother, an ordinary farmer, still reside in Garsila. He attended Soba East Secondary School for Boys.

Due to tribal conflicts in the region, he and his family faced instability and financial difficulties which forced him to leave Sudan on December 15, 2021, for Libya. In Tazerbo, Kufra, he was held captive by human traffickers demanding 2000 Libyan dinars in ransoms. After his release, he moved to Benghazi, then Tripoli, Qarabulli in March 2022.

He registered with the UNHCR in Libya as an asylum seeker and worked in farming to sustain his livelihood. By August 2023, he departed Libya for Tunisia, where he sought refuge in Zarzis with limited success. He then went to Sfax, where he for three times attempted to cross the sea.

In early October he paid 1500 Tunisian dinars for the sea crossings but was caught up at sea by the Tunisian National Guard. In late October he tried again and was intercepted. The third attempt was in mid November only to be intercepted and returned. His final attempt came along the other 42 others among whom 40 died with him included.

While browsing on his Facebook account, we saw that his last publication dating back to 17 April 2022 talks about dignity, success, fatigue , failure and despair: “First, maintain your dignity, even if it costs you, you will not become friends with the walls of your cell. You will not reach the pinnacle of success without going through stations of fatigue, failure and despair. Stay at ease with the details.”

Image ID: Abdul Bakhit looking down toward the camera. He is wearing a white shirt standing before a bright, blue sky.

#sudan

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dirtytransmasc · 1 year

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Ooh what about a Snow White Spider au where he was instead Raised by the animals of Pandora. Idk how he would have gotten separated from everyone but just love the idea of a Jungle Book, Mowgli situation. Just a little baby feral(even more so here)Eywa blessed Spider. 💕💕

TW - pregnancy, childbirth, death, etc. sorta did that here but she only adopts him when he was 8. so it would be a little different right form the get go, and by get go, I mean right after he was born.

lets say that paz tried to flee when she found out about the suicide mission to attack hometree and wanted nothing to do with it, maybe she finally came to her sense and fleed to eywa, to jake and the few other humans on the na'vi side, hoping for some sort of asylum. maybe she just wanted her son to have a chance. maybe she was just fleeing to flee, self-preservation overriding any sort of thought or logic. whatever the case, she flees out into the forest, hoping, praying, begging whoever will listen to save her child.

eywa listens. maybe for her sake, maybe for the childs, maybe just out of curiosity. but she listens.

she watches Paz struggle to birth her child, screaming "it's too early" all the while. eywa can feel her fear, can tell she's scared and doesn't know what to do. she watches as paz gives her all into it and still teeter on the verge of failure, of killing herself and her child, and assists her, connecting to the women through her roots. paz would think she was tripping, but really it was just eywa, one mother helping another.

when the baby is finally born, which was no easy task, even for the Great Mother herself, paz worries he won't be able to breathe. but eywa already had it handled. spider cries, loud, beautiful cries, drawing the attention of all the flora and fauna in the area. a viperwolf watching the pair from a ridge, not lurking a target, but rather curious of the small thing wrapped in his mother's arms. paz wants to scare it away but finds herself too weak to do so, and then a surge of clam fills her, Eywa telling her it will all be ok.

paz can feel herself dying, some complication or another, she was a high-risk pregnancy to begin with, and she had just delivered early in the middle of the damn forest after running god knows how many miles. while she would rather not die, leaving her premature son alone in these woods, she isn't surprised. instinct makes her want to beg, but as she slumps against the mossy tree trunk she propped herself against, she feels oddly ok with it. again, for the record, does not want to die, but she has this gut feeling her baby will be ok.

she wraps him in her military-issue jacket and holds him for as long as she can. she brushes a finger over his little nose and lets him hold onto her little finger with his entire tiny hand. she prays for her child, despite never having been religious. when she feels herself being on the last few steps of the stairway to heaven, she places spider next to her, so she doesn't risk dropping him.

the las thting she see's is that viperwolf approaching her, calmly, looking back to her cubs half hidden don't he ridge she stood on before. they look each other in the eye, and paz knows, against all rational thought, the way a mother knows, somehow, some way, things will be fine. she lets go, she goes to eywa, leaving her son behind. she was right. eywa was gonna look out for the little one.

~~~

spider was hidden away from the war by viperwolves; they were best inept for handling him so young, so tiny. they hid him in their burrows, amongst their other young, and the whole pack would watch after him. they made sure he was clean and fed, much like Lupa had Romulus and Remus back in old earth tales (an old roman/italian myth, look it up). even as he began to walk and explore, they kept him well away from the na'vi, upon eywa's orders. spider wouldn't be safe there, not yet at least, not till he could hold his own. he wouldn't be accepted, not in a way that would be any good for him. so she would keep him out in the forests, away from anyone who could think of hurting him.

he was raised by all the creatures of the forest how to survive, how to stalk pray and hunt, how to find shelter, how to find clean water. he picked up habits of each creature.

he kept to packs like viperwolves, but hunted alone like thanators. he was closely bonded to the herds of titanothere's that roamed the woods and learn to be a gentle 'giant'.he got his speed and agility from slintsh, watching how they raced through the tree tops with grace, learning to copy them, if even at a fraction of the speed.

once she accepted spider would have to be aware of other na'vi, for his sake, she started connecting to him, not for comfort, but to teach him. she started teaching him language and songs (not of the creatures he considered family, but of the na'vi themselves). she taught him most basic concepts in the form she had taken to appear visible to the child. she told him of his mother, how she was a good women, at least in the end, how she was a good person caught up i bad thing. they talked about what they meant, what spider felt that it meant about her. he didn't know. he wanted to hate her, for his his Mother, for hurting pandora, but also pity, because she was forced, in some ways. he would meet her one day, when he was ready, Eywa knew the day was coming, as he asked more and more questions. that was ok, little bird had to fly the nest one day. even if she hated the idea.

spider was aware of the world out there, was allowed to venture towards it, around 13 or so, but he chose to be cautious. Eywa said there was nothing to fear, not now at least, but he didn't want to approach this unknown world. he did venture closer, stalking up in the trees and watching hunters go about their days, children playing. one day he met kiri, who kept his secret after many desperate pleas. she called him odd, said the way he walked, almost bipedal was strange, and the way he made sounds rather than words more often, or how he didn't know what fire was. spider said that was the way things should be done. she didn't disagree, just smiled at him, copying his actions every now and then.

spider had a lot of little quirks. he tipped and chirped and almost barked, imitating to the best of his ability the sounds of the creatures that raised him. he could walk 'normally' but found it easier to crouch and use his hands. he didn't hunt with a knife or a bow and arrow, instead used primitive stones and teeth, long shards of bone, and ate his foods raw. his skin was rough, not only from the sun and heavy use, but because he caked himself with dirt to make it more durable, avoid sunburn and bugs, and to better blend in. not to mention his naturally primitive way of living; sleeping up in the highest branches of trees, with nothing but the loincloth eywa forced him to make and start wearing when he was first capable of doing so.

thats not to mention he shock when he named most animals in his territory, when he was friendly with all fo them, when he could ride the apex predator of the forest and considered vipewolves to be his family.

when kiri would leave, promsing to tell no one, he would go to eywa and ask about the na'vi. she would share stories with him, even have him meet ancestors, like tsu'tey and eytukan, who he really liked. he also met kiri's mom, grace, another human. she taught him a lot about who he was, what it meant that he was human; but she also shared her fascination, a human boy raised by 'wolves', was the greatest of revelations.

one day spider would venture into the village, after months of getting to know kiri and eventually lo'ak and finally neteyam before he got ratted out by a hunter sent to find out where he children of the chief were hiding away. he would stand in front of jake and tell him Eywa was his mother, just like the viperwolves and the titantheres, and a woman named paz who was a good person and did bad things without knowing just how bad they were. jake would stare in shock at this wild child with golden hair and dirt roughened skin, would listen to his stories, follow him out into the woods and find they were all true. spider would refuse to stay in the village, but would quickly take to his new life; the boy who came and left as he pleased, who was the marker of a whole new chapter of the na'vi people.

#if anyone watches tlou the beginning was very last episode inspired #avatar 2 #spider socorro #miles socorro #miles spider socorro #avatar the way of water #while spider's still a wild child in this #I think eywa would have his best interest in mind #so while she would wait until he could defend himself #she would at least introduce him to human life #slowly but surely #eywa #kiri sully #lo'ak sully #neteyam sully #jake sully

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