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#as you can probably tell i did some very bad editing on this one
quinn-pop · 11 months
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Mayta Knight day 4 - Loss
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this is one of those comics you can easily tell was unscripted but 1. the loss of one’s self is probably one of my favorite themes ever and 2. i infect everything i draw with fluff (apparently)
bonus:
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cosmicmunsonwrites · 9 months
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reader gets super drunk with the pogues so they have to call rafe to get her. And he wasn’t very happy
lets have a good time
pairing(s): bf!rafe cameron x gf!fem!reader , the pogues x reader
warnings: alcohol, pet names, almost a fight
summary: after having one too many to drink, your friends are forced to call your boyfriend.
authors note: thank you for the request!! enjoy :)
not edited
do not copy my works. i do not condone rewrites, translations, or edited versions. all my content is my content that i wrote.
not my gif
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“c’mon, sarah. please?” you whined.
“babe, you’ve already had way too much to drink,” she said with a chuckle.
you began to pout. “but rafe never lets me drink and we haven’t all been together in sooo long,” you dragged. “this is like—like the one night we can have fun. so why not enjoy it.”
“you’re enjoyin’ it alright,” jj joked, taking another sip from his beer.
that gave you an idea. jj always drank with you.
you turned to him with a smile and the two full shot glasses. “jj?”
he could never turn down alcohol. “why not?”
you cheered and handed him one of the shots before counting down, connecting your lips with the glass and leaning your head back as the burn slid down your throat.
the two of you high fived each other before starting to pour yourselves another.
“you think we’ll have to call him tonight?” john b asked, standing with pope, sarah, and kiara as they watched the two take more shots.
sarah nodded. “definitely. she’s not walking in this state.”
“he’s gonna be pissed,” pope said.
“so pissed,” kiara agreed.
sarah sighed and shifted her weight to one foot. “who’s gonna do it this time?”
john b and pope put their fingers on their noses quickly. once kie noticed, she did the same.
“not fair,” the blonde said. “i don’t wanna text him.”
kiara laughed. “he’s your brother. if he hears it from us, he’d probably run us all over on the way here.”
she sighed but pulled out her phone and began to search for his contact to call him instead while you and jj were still drunkenly stumbling around each other, laughing uncontrollably, dancing to the music and taking another shot.
“what do you want?” he asked, voice louder now that he was on speaker.
sarah rolled her eyes. “can you come get y/n? we’ve all been drinking, some more than others, and i don’t think its a good idea for us to drive her home.”
“what the fuck, sarah? i told you about this shit already. stop—“
she hung up before he could get another word out. john b reached into the cooler and grabbed out some beers, handing one to each of the three. “we’re gonna need ‘em for this one.”
“it’s like a ticking time bomb,” kie said. “we’re basically sitting ducks right here.”
sarah shook her head. “he won’t do anything too bad. you know she doesn’t like when he gets all mouthy with us,” she replied, referring to you.
and in record breaking time, the big truck was pulling into the dead patch of grass on the side of the chateau.
you gasped when you saw your boyfriend approaching and immediately run up to him, without stumbling and tripping as much as you can, flinging your arms around him and holding yourself close to him. “hi, rafe,” you slurred against his chest.
“hi, baby,” he said softly. your balance was completely off. he wrapped his arms around you to ensure you wouldn’t fall then looked up to his sister and the rest of the pogues. “are you kidding me?”
sarah shrugged. “she was having fun, rafe. let her.”
“what did i tell you about this? look at her. she can barely even stand,” he spat angrily. “i told you to watch her. and you didn’t. you’re supposed to monitor how much she’s drinking so she doesn’t—“
“hey,” you mumbled quietly, leaning off his chest and stumbling back slightly to look at him. “‘s fine. ‘m fine. i was jus’ havin’ fun with my friends and—and i had a little too much. sarah even—even told me i was drinking too much. ‘s fine though. can we jus’ go home?” you slurred between hiccups.
he took a deep breath. he could never say no to you.
“c’mon,” he said softly. you waved goodbye to all your friends and with a hand on your back to keep you steady, he led you to the car. his hands found your waist to help you up into your seat, strapping you in then shutting the door and hastily walked around to the other side.
you giggled when he got in. “i had sooo much fun today, rafe.”
he smiled to himself and began to reverse out. “i can’t wait to hear all about it, sweetheart.”
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UK Politics Rundown: BoJo's Bizarre Exit Edition
Ok, so, people keep asking me to explain what's going on in the UK right now, mostly because they're seeing Brits just revelling in the levels of fuckery going on. So, a brief bullet pointed run down:
Most of you have probably heard of the Sentient Mop that is Boris Johnson, former Prime Minister of the UK
Most of you probably know about his penchant for lying to the public and basically not giving a fuck about it
This culminated in a huge police investigation into literal parties this man held while we were in Covid lockdown. Including one the night before Prince Phillip's funeral at which the Queen sat alone. And if you know how the press reacted to that one, you know he was in the shit for it.
Anyway, he lied about many of those parties, got fined for attending those parties, and is still technically under Parliamentary investigation for lying to Parliament while stood on the floor of the House of Commons (the room where they yell about laws every day).
There was also a Vote of No Confidence, which is a way in which the Conservatives can remove the leader of their party if they think he's terrible. Boris won this, but by a smaller margin than he would have wanted. No new vote can be held for another year based on the current rules (more on this later)
Fast forward 2 weeks from the end of that to last week and we get some news about an MP (Chris Pincher) who initially seemed to have got drunk and done *something* (as yet it was undefined) and he was suspended from the Conservative party pending investigation.
The following day (Thursday) it emerged that it was because he had allegedly sexually assaulted two men while drunk at a Conservatives club, and that there had been reports of this behaviour before. So he had the whip (basically the ability to vote as a Conservative MP) removed.
On Friday tons of Conservatives did the rounds on the news with 'oh we didn't know he was Bad. Boris definitely didn't know or he wouldn't have appointed him to his position'
On Saturday Boris does an interview where the reporter challenges him and says 'you were told about this in December 2019), Boris then admits to knowing about it but says he 'forgot'.
People are piiiiiiiiiiiised
Fast forward to Tuesday this week (5th July 2022). Late Tuesday, two Cabinet Ministers (think of like the Secretary of State/Housing etc in the US, it's roughly equivalent) Rishi Sunak (Chancellor of the Exchequer) and Sajid Javid (Health Secretary) resign, citing Boris lying to them about many things but this being the final straw.
I mean sure lads, everything else was terrible but this is what did it huh?
Don't worry about it. Their resignations were designed to do exactly what's happened so it was a calculated move.
This kicks off what you've seen in the last 48hrs, with Cabinet Ministers, Senior Ministers, and Junior Ministers all resigning. At one point it was 6 resignations an hour.
The previous record for most ministers in a 24hr period resigning was 11 in 1932. Boris did 53.
Current total of resignations is 59. He fired Michael Gove (who's been hired and fired by the last 3 Prime Ministers, so congrats on that achievement Michael!) So it's basically at 60.
There are not enough ministers in jobs currently to run most departments
Press didn't know what to do with themselves and everyone in the UK was on Facebook marking themselves as 'attending' Boris' leaving party, and generally just having a great time with governmental collapse
Yesterday Boris refused to go. You may have seen footage of the entire House of Commons telling him goodbye very sarcastically. This is the normal levels of shithousery in the House of Commons, but it's also very funny.
Boris was still refusing to go late last night, saying he had a mandate from the people. You got this in 2019, love, it doesn't count anymore.
Literally everyone was writing letters and going on TV telling him to go, including people who'd got new jobs from him 24hrs before
Anyway, between 6:45am and 8am another 10 people resigned, which is how we got to 60 after yesterday's bonanza, and by 9:15am Boris said he would resign as PM and Tory Party leader
He is literally blaming everyone but himself at this point but no one is listening to him anymore
This has triggered a Leadership election, where untold horrors await us because that person will be the new Prime Minister....until they're forced to call a General Election
However, Boris still remains as Prime Minister for now. He said he'd stay until there was a new leader elected. So he's down, but he's not yet out.
But the fun doesn't stop yet! The 1922 Committee (the backbenches of the Tory Party in Parliament) has elections for positions on Monday and they might (and probably will) elect people who want to change the rules so that another Vote of No Confidence can be held. If that happens, the rules can be changed in less than 24hrs and they'll hold another vote to oust him before a new leader is elected. Personally, I hope Theresa May wears another ballgown to this vote after she did to the last one. Boris was the one who ousted her to become leader, so she's revelling in shithousery and it's fun to see Tory on Tory violence.
Highlights of all of this include: Reporters interrupting each other to say someone else just resigned, the people heckling Boris from the gates of Downing Street, the one guy who resigned while in a Parliamentary Committee meeting with Boris that was to discuss all the lies Boris has been telling (and informed him during this meeting. He's a Tory but the balls on that man jeez), Hugh Grant (yes, film star Hugh Grant) paying a bloke to go play the Benny Hill theme tune on Live speakers around Parliament, reporters interviewing Larry the Cat who is literally a cat and responsible for keeping the mice at bay, and every single person in the UK making memes/jokes/videos and just generally having a fantastic time as the government implodes.
Will a new leader change anything? No
Are the British public scared or worried about this? No
Is it just really really fucking funny? Yes. So funny
And that, guys, gals, and non binary pals, is the current account of what's going down in the UK as of 7th July (late afternoon).
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justkindalivin · 1 year
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Roommate trouble
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summary: Your roommate Jesse and his girlfriend Dina fuck..a lot. loudly. When you finally get fed up after being woken up by their nightly “activities”, you go to Dina’s dorm for some peace and quiet only to run into her roommate, Ellie. 
warnings: Smut (18+ PLZ), Language, modern!au, college!au, making out, thigh riding, fingering (r rec), oral (r rec), dom!ellie, teasing, sub!reader, not edited well (I can’t think of anything else but lmk if you find something I forgot!)  
wc: 2.7k 
an: HEY YALL!! It's been a hot minute, sorry about that! The shotgun series is still ongoing but this idea popped into my head and I just had to write it. I tried to activate my asks or whatever but I’m still kinda new to how tumblr works haha. I wanna meet people in the TLOU community and make friends so come say hi!! Anyhoo I hope you guys enjoy, have a great day I love you ♡ - Lottie
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You loved Jesse, you really did. Starting from move-in day, you guys did everything together, knew everything about each other, and he quickly became your absolute best friend. When he first introduced you to Dina, a girl he met during orientation, you were so happy he found someone as sweet and open as she was. She always greeted you with a hug and smile, even going as far as inviting you to hang out with her and Jesse on whatever date they had planned. Eventually, you and Dina also got very close, going on your own little “friend dates” as she called them where you would go to dinner or just watch a movie. You always joked that if she ever got tired of Jesse all she had to do was say the word and you would sweep her off her feet. As much as you loved them though, there was one thing about them that you couldn’t stand. They fucked like rabbits. Literally 24/7. You actually didn’t even know it was medically possible for two people to get it on this much. You come home from a class and boom- they’re in your dorm going at it. Trying to take a nap in your room? Think again, here comes Jesse and Dina tearing off each other's clothes. You tried to be cool about it at first because you didn’t want to seem bitchy, but you were quickly reaching your limit. And tonight was the night you lost it 
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You had a long fucking day, filled with back-to-back classes that seemed to last an eternity and mountains of homework that took you hours in the library to complete. Practically as soon as you got to your dorm and your head hit the pillow you passed out, which is probably why you didn't hear Jesse and Dina come home. What you did hear, however, was a weird grating creaking noise that roused you from sleep. Blinking the blurriness from your eyes, you start to come to your surroundings. The creaking started to get louder and as you become more and more awake, you begin to notice soft moans and grunts coming from the direction of the creaking... - NO. FUCKING. WAY. 
“You little fuck gremlins, you’re unbelievable!!!” You exclaim, hucking your pillow in their general direction. The sound of a startled grunt and scrambling from Jesse’s bed fills your ears as they try to cover themselves up, and finally, you turn your bedside lamp on to glare at them. Both of them sit on his bed, messily wrapped in blankets with a light pink dusting on their cheeks, chests heaving as they try to catch their breath. At least Dina looks apologetic, Jesse just looks annoyed you interrupted them. 
“I’m so sorry, I-” Dina starts apologizing, but you hold up your hand to stop her. 
“Jesse, you're like a brother to me and I love you, but I can’t deal with you right now. Like, just give me a heads up when you two are gonna fuck and I’ll leave, this is traumatizing.” Jesse slightly rolls his eyes but nods, and you can tell he does actually feel bad that they woke you. “and Dina, just give me a chance I’d treat you so right, just say the word. You’ve done nothing wrong ever, and I love you.” 
Jesse shakes his head, throwing his hands up indignantly “Why do I get scolded like a toddler and Dina gets hit on?!? Where’s the justice?”. You shut him up with a glare, then focus back on Dina.
“Dina, where is your dorm and would your roommate mind me staying there? Y’all can finish what you started but I’m getting tf up outta here.” After getting the building name and room number, you quickly pack a small go bag with essentials, wrap a blanket over your shoulders, and begin to trudge across campus to Dina’s building. About halfway there you think about how crazy you’re going to look to her roommate, a girl you’ve never met before but Dina had mentioned in passing a few times. The only thing you knew about her was that her name was Ellie and she was an astronomy major. Fuck, what were you even going to say when you got there?? Hey! Our roommates were having a fuck fest in my room, mind if we have a sleepover? You spent the rest of the walk overthinking and trying to come up with something to say when you saw her until eventually, you found yourself on their floor. Wandering down the hallway, you finally stumble on a light wooden door that was decorated with colorful bits of paper cut into the shape of mushrooms that held both Dina and Ellie’s names. Keeping in mind the mini script you made of what to say when you were walking over, you take a deep breath and raise your hand to knock on the door.
After a moment of silence, clattering and distant swearing come from the other side of the door before it swings open. Your mouth goes dry, all the words you had rehearsed flying out the window as you take in Ellie for the first time. Her short auburn hair falls messily around her freckled face and as she lifts her hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes, you catch a glimpse of a tattoo on her forearm. Wearing just a white cotton tank top and black boxers, it was clear that she had been sleeping peacefully before your rude awakening. As you continue to check her out, you’re startled when her voice cuts through the quiet of the hallway.
“Dude, I was sleeping. The fuck do you want?” Ellie’s voice is still thick with sleep as her gaze falls on you. Oh shit, she must think you’re so creepy, just some rando waking her up in the middle of the night and then staring at her. You hastily blurt out your name trying to seem like less of a weirdo in front of Dina’s smoking-hot roommate
“Dina and Jesse woke me up with their... sex stuff? And they go at it all the time and I was kinda fed up so I asked Dina if I could sleep in her bed for tonight and she said yes so... now I'm here and-” Your awkward rambling was cut short by Ellie bursting out laughing, doubling over to clutch her stomach.
“No way dude that's fucking heinous! You poor thing get in here.” With that, Ellie grabs your arm and pulls you into the room, her hand finding the small of your back as she guides you in. “Welcome to our humble abode, that's Dina’s side so you can just dump your shit over there, and that's her bed.” She says, gesturing to the left side of the room. Shoving your backpack to the ground, you make your way to Dina’s bed, observing the room as you go. Ellie’s side is filled with drawings and posters, as well as a guitar that leans up against her bed rail. Pictures also litter the walls, some of her and Dina, some of her other friends, and a few of her with an older man you assume is her dad. Suddenly feeling the night catch up to you, a huge yawn leaves your lips and you crawl into Dina’s bed, letting your eyes fall closed.
“It's nice to finally meet you, Dina talks about you all the time. She didn’t tell me you were pretty though”. Your eyes fly open and you can feel your cheeks growing warm at the compliment. 
“Dina talks about you too. It's weird we’ve never met before, Dina always said I would like you” You reply, rolling over to face her to see that she was already looking at you. 
“Listen any time those two are annoying you, come over here. You’re always welcome” she tells you, a wide smile stretching across her face
“Thanks, Ellie”
“No problem pretty girl”
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“Ellie they’re doing it again!! They were literally eye fucking all over the room so I made my escape before my vision got assaulted. Again.” You yell, bursting into Ellie's room without so much as a knock. On that first night you stayed in Dina’s dorm, the two of you talked for hours, only stopping once daylight began to leak through the curtains on the windows. She talked about her adopted dad, Joel, what she wanted to do with her life, and her love of dinosaurs. With each word, you found yourself more and more enamored with her. You’d never met anyone like Ellie and from that day on you guys were close friends. Well... you don’t know if friends is the way to describe it. Ellie was almost always touching you, from wrapping an arm around your waist when you were walking together to pulling you down onto her lab when there was not enough room on the couch. At parties, she’d keep close to you, warding off creepy men with a snarl and her arm around your shoulders. You’d both shared countless kisses, some light and playful, others deep and passionate. There was something unspoken between the two of you, you saw it in the way she looked at you, the way she was protective over you like no one else in your life has ever been. You’d never labeled what you and Ellie had, too scared that if you talked about it, she’d get so weirded out by you reading too much into it that she would leave. 
“I keep telling you babe, set boundaries with them. As much as I love having your gorgeous face here, you gotta tell them when you need the room.”
That was the other thing, the nicknames she gave you. You don’t think Ellie has called you by your name once since the night you met. It's always pretty girl, gorgeous, or your personal favorite, babe. Wandering over to where Ellie sat on the edge of her bed, tuning her guitar, you flop face down next to her. Hearing her place the guitar down with a dramatic sigh, you feel Ellie’s body moving toward where you lay on the bed. Rough hands grasp your waist, rolling you until you’re laying on your back. Ellie kneels over you, one hand stroking the skin of your waist while the other glides up the side of your body to brush your hair out of your eyes. 
“I’ll beat the shit out of Jesse, will that help?” She offers, only half joking, earning a small giggle from you as she smiles. 
“My hero” You joke, hand rising to cup the side of her face and squeeze the flesh there. “You don’t have to, I just have to stop being a pussy and tell them. Maybe we can make a schedule or something, I don't know.”
“Oo a fucking schedule, how romantic. I’m sure they’ll love that” She teases and you shove her away from you playfully. Before you can fully shove her away, she grips your arm, using the momentum to pull you onto her lap. Her back leans against the wall and she picks you up slightly by your hips so that she can slide her thigh between your legs. 
“Shut up I’m trying okay?” You giggle raising your hand to push her once again. This time though, she catches it and laces your fingers together. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to catch your breath from being WWE slammed into a cuddle session and you could have sworn you catch Ellie’s eyes flutter between your own and your chest. Did you wear a low-cut tank top and booty shorts on purpose?... maybe. Was it working? Hell yes. 
When Ellie finally looks up from your chest, you raise an eyebrow mockingly at her and her face immediately flushes a dark red. You laugh as she averts her gaze and clears her throat, leaning down to rest your head in the crook of her neck. Her hands migrate to rub your back, moving the fabric of your shirt to rub soothing circles on your soft skin. From her neck you try to sneak a look at her face, only to find that her eyes are already locked on you. With a small smile, you once again bring your hand up to cup her face, this time just caressing the skin there instead of pinching. Ellie removes her hands from your back and uses them to grab the hair at the base of your neck, bringing your head up to face her. After only a brief look from your eyes to your lips, Ellie surges forward and meets your lips in a searing kiss. 
She bites down on your lower lip playfully, taking advantage of the small gasp you let out to explore your mouth. Without realizing it, you begin to grind on Ellie’s thigh, desperate for friction. You only register you’re doing it when Ellie brings her hand down to grope your ass, forcing you further down on her thigh and quickening your pace. You break the kiss with a soft moan, getting lost in the pleasure until suddenly you find yourself on your back. Ellie slots her body fully over yours, eyeing you up and down with flush cheeks.
“Fuck, babe you’re so fucking beautiful.” She says, tracing her hand along the waistband of your shorts, toying with the fabric. 
“Please Ellie” You whimper, practically writhing under her despite the fact that she's barely done anything yet 
“Please what pretty girl? Use your words.” 
“Touch me, Ellie, please! I-I need you!” You cry out and with a smug smirk, she slides her fingers under your waistband and between your folds
“It's okay baby shh, I got you. Fuck you’re so wet, is all this for me, gorgeous?” All you can do is nod pitifully as her fingers sink into you, a harsh moan tearing from your lips. Her fingers slide easily in and out, your slick walls clenching around her as her face moves to suck marks onto your neck. The pleasure is too much, clenching your eyes shut all you can focus on is the rough pounding of her fingers within you. 
“Fuck, Ellie.. feels so good f-fuck” You incoherently babble as she curls her fingers, hitting your sweet spot and making your vision go dark. Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave, your whole body clenching and shaking around Ellie’s fingers as she praises you. 
“That's it pretty, you did so good for me. You’re so fucking hot, babe.” Ellie removes her fingers and immediately puts them in her mouth, sucking off your slick with a contented moan. “Fucking delicious, will you let me taste more baby? Please?”. Not finding yourself able to speak yet, all you can do is nod and Ellie wastes no time. Clambering off the bed, Ellie grabs your thighs and pulls you to the edge, kneeling before you now bare core. Throwing your legs over her shoulders, Ellie dives in, attaching her lips to your swollen clit with a harsh suck. You loudly cry out, hands flying to the back of her head as her tongue begins to rapidly lick and suck all over. You feel your orgasm approaching more quickly than before and you unconsciously begin to grind down on Ellie's face to chase your release. However, your trance is interrupted by a loud shriek
“OH MY GOD! What the fuck guys, what are you doing?!?!” Dina yells from the now open door, shielding her eyes with her hand. You scramble to cover yourself with Ellie's comforter as the woman herself lets out an annoyed groan.
“Is this what it feels like!?! Jesus, it's like walking in on your parents. I’m so sorry, I’ll come back later!” Dina rushes out and slams the door behind her, leaving you and Ellie alone once again. After a moment of silence, Ellie starts to laugh
“Well, at least she knows what it's like now. I doubt they’ll be causing you problems again.” She says between her giggles, grabbing a pair of her boxers to dress you in. You shake off your embarrassment and begin to laugh as well, taking Ellie's hand and tugging her into bed with you. As Ellie wraps you in her arms, you can’t help but think you might have to thank Jesse and Dina for being such sex maniacs.
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an: I love you guys so much, thank you for all the comments, likes and reblogs on my previous posts. Let me know if you guys can access my asks, I wanna get to know yall!! this is my first time writing smut, yall can probably tell LMAO but all feedback is appreciated  ☺︎ 
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rendezvouz-fling · 1 year
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Astro Observations #21
Moon signs edition part 2!🍂
Having dated a few Leo moons, I’ve noticed they have a thing for acting more vulnerable and caring with their partners in private then acting the complete opposite when their friends are around because they think that vulnerability is only for their partners to see.
I’ve noticed some Taurus/Libra moons tend to have greedy mothers who are keen on good looks and manners or their mothers might gravitate towards friendships with people who have money. 
Let me know if I’m onto something but, I believe Saturnian moons (Cap/Aqua) and their relationship with their mothers often times also depends on their Venus sign. E.g. my sister is a Capricorn moon with a Sagittarius venus and although she has the typical Saturnian moon qualities/issues, her mom still has never really been verbally affectionate and treats her bad. Whereas I’m an Aquarius moon with a Pisces venus and although me and my mom aren’t the closest/on the same page and yes I also carry the typical Saturnian moon qualities/issues, my mom is very caring and affectionate.
Pisces moons can be somewhat gullible at times due to their very giving and affectionate nature!
Virgo moons at 3, 15 or 27 degree in the 2H are the biggest over thinkers!! Always constantly worrying or thinking about a comeback to an argument that happened a week ago. They can also have stress eating tendencies.
Gemini moons are those best friends you either talk to everyday or just once while! And when you do talk to them there’ll most likely be something crazy happening in their lives. They just give off an air of being restless and pretty much always on the go.
Yes Sagittarius moons are normally really funny but have you talked to one while they were drunk?😭🤣
Aries moons are the type of friends who are ready to let go of everything and just run away with you to another country meanwhile they haven’t figured out how they’re going to survive over there or anything.💀 Ily guys! 😂
Scorpio moons are very generous, most of them have their guards up and I feel like it’s because they get easily hurt and sometimes their expectations of people turns out to be unrealistic.  
Taurus moons and Aquarius moons aren’t the types to apologize!💀 Taurus moons will just try to offer you some of their food or they might soften up to you a little orrr even try to engage in a conversation with you a few moments after an argument. Whereas Aquarius moons won’t apologize if they don’t feel like they did/said anything wrong and they’ll tell it to your face too then tell you exactly what they said and how they don’t see any wrong in it. 🧍🏽‍♀️
Virgo moons with Cancer risings only really truly apologize if they feel like they’d hurt your feelings.
Also I’ve noticed most Air moons tend to not have parental supervision specifically at a very young age. Or their parents (normally their mom) usually leaves them with their family while they go out and do whatever.
Saturnian moons especially Aquarius moons really be out here having mothers who put their boyfriends on pedestal and they barely pay attention to their kids. Then when the kid (Saturnian moon) confronts their mom about it (wether in the moment or years later) the mother will down right deny it and try to make it seem like all their attention was on their child or make excuses about having to go to work because they needed income, etc…
Some Virgo moons I’ve seen with Air/Earth venuses tend to have aggressive or very critical mothers.
Some Cancer moons I know have emotionally manipulative mothers or moms who do them wrong then gaslight them.
Water moons when underdeveloped can be immature and mean.😭
You know that one friend who’s very artistic or just listen to music a lot, is very playful and can sometimes be unreachable or on the go? They’re probably an Air moon.
That one friend that always validates your feelings and tells/shows you they care about your opinions? They’re probably a Water moon.
That one friend who’s probably the class clown, loud, always cracking jokes to make people laugh and is pretty popular? They’re probably a fire moon.
That one friend who loves exchanging ideas, almost always has strong accurate opinions and has a calming vibe to them? They’re probably an Earth moon.
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no-nameno-face · 1 year
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Taken Care Of Audio (read story first)
TAKEN CARE OF (WITH AUDIO)
Pairing: Reader x Ellie Williams
Summary: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, minors do not interact. You will be blocked. Ellies had a long, hard day on patrol, and after stitching her up she requests some TLC. 
Warnings: Smut heavy, sub!reader, dom!ellie, face riding (E!receiving), oral (E!receiving), masturbation (R!), cum eating (kinda)? Praise kink, minor blood kink, pain kink, stitches, boob play (E!receiving), first time smut writing, did not proof read (but probably should have...)
Author's Notes: Soooo I've never written smut before, lmfao. I made the audio first, for my thirsty Ellie girls on tiktok but this audio got a bit… out of hand (wayyy too graphic) so I didn't want to post it on there. I had a whole scenario in mind with the audio so I figured I might as well write it down and share it here. I am also very obsessed with Ellie receiving so I subconsciously brought that to life while editing the audio. I know it's not great, but it was very fun to make and write soo.. Please be nice to me, I'm sensitive. Lol. (I put in the story when the audio clip applies, the story starts with context) I’d like to improve my writing cause this was a good time so any advice would be appreciated!!
I hear the door downstairs creak open and shut, a bit louder than normal. I can track the footsteps marching to the stairs and I listen with a small smile as the thuds make their way up. I hear soft profanities getting closer. Ellie is home. 
Sitting on our bed I turn my head right in time to see the door open, grinning at her as she walks in. She has that crease in her brow that I recognize as her tell-tell sign that she had a shit day. She shoots me a sly glance before looking away to take her flannel off leaving her in a white tank, dirty and disheveled she pulls it over her head. 
My eyes trace down her back, scarred and bruised. Muscular, and toned. Heart flutters, and a familiar heat builds. It's crazy how after all these years just seeing her still triggers these primal feelings. She just does something to me. She always has. My eyes stop wondering when I see a deep fresh cut following the curve of her hip. 
“Shit els? What happened” I get up and pace towards her keeping my eyes on the wound. 
She bends over pulling her shoes off, losing her balance a bit and mumbling a frustrated “fuck” under her breath. Now behind her, I prod at the gash and she swears again. I can feel her flinch. 
“I'll go get the stitches, sit down.” I say pulling her to the bed. She hits the bed with a thud and leans her elbows onto her knees.Shaking her head “it's not that bad babe, im fine.” She looks up at me and gives a half-hearted smile.
“I know you're fine,” I say, giving her a gentle look “I just don't want it to get infected, okay?” 
“Anything you say doc” she says with a smirk before turning to address the cut herself. She touches it lightly and winces when her fingers make contact. I head to the bathroom across the hall from our room and grab the small white kit from the medicine cabinet, and make my way back to our room. She's still sitting at the end of the bed, now rolling her neck side to side. 
I plop on the bed behind her, “okay, are you gonna tell me what happened now?” trying to distract her as I begin stitching the gash closed. Her back flexes and I hear her sharp intake of breath. Heart flutters. 
“Fucking stalkers. I hate those things” she says, shaking her head and looking up to the ceiling. “I was on patrol,”
“With Jesse right?”
“Don't remind me,” she says with a scoff that is cut off by another huff as I add a new stitch. Damn. Every breath in sync with the sutures releases a morbid butterfly into the pit of my stomach.  “Yeah, I was on patrol with jesse. We were checking out that one restaurant by the lodge, and I found an entrance to the attic. That place has been cleared out for like forever, so I went up on my own and got jumped by a stalker.” she shrugged her shoulders. “Fucking thing nailed me into an old piece of plywood. Piece of shit.” I tie her last stitch off, and give her a gentle pat to tell her she was finished. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to put the kit back.
I turned in the doorway on my way out, “Maybe you should’ve been more careful.” She swings her head at me with squinted eyes. I shrug and turn, heading to the bathroom “just saying!” 
“Fuck off” she calls back, I lightly laugh.
Back in the bedroom, she's lying on her stomach, head resting on her hands. “And then of course Jesse had to give me a fucking lecture about not going anywhere on my own, team communication! All that bullshit.” She turns onto her side propping herself up with one arm, “I’m just so fucking over it.” she looked absolutely exasperated. Oh how I love her dramatics. I sit facing her and her free hand falls to my hip. She looks at her hand, then up to me. Those green eyes, familiar and warm. Home. I smile at her. 
“That sucks. I'm sorry. I mean Jesse should know by now, there's no getting through that thick skull of yours. What's a lecture gonna do?” I smirk at her.
“Ouch.” she sneers at me, one brow up. She lets out a quiet laugh, and looks back down to her hand on my waist. “Thanks for stitching me up babe.”
“You know I don't mind.” I say casually. She smiles, an inside joke painting a picture on the walls of her thoughts. 
“So weird that you're into that.” she chuckles
“I'm not into that.. I just..” her eyes darted to mine. My heart pounded in my ears. She's right, but it was just so blunt. “There's just something about a strong woman who needs my help.” I say fawning innocent eyes, partially joking, but subconsciously egging her on. She sees right through me.  
She raises her eyebrows, taking her hand from my hip and pushing herself up so she's sitting opposite of me. She smiles, “so stupid.” her eyes drift down to my lips, then back to me. I feel red flush my cheeks. Her gaze darkens slightly, noticing. She tilts her head looking at me. “I mean it's okay that you are, i'm not kink shaming” Her hand meets my thigh, electric, and she gives me a sideways smile. I gape at her, trying to make light of the tension building between us.
“So you like taking care of strong women? Yeah?” she says quietly with a smile in her voice as her eyes trace down my body to her hand. Her thumb started circling the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. “Funny, you're normally the one that begs to be'' she looks up at me teasingly “taken care of.” Fuck. I feel heat pool in my belly. My knees squeeze together by their own volition. She feels it and her teasing gaze turns to something else as her eyes shift to them. She bites her lip subtly. This woman. 
Her hand moves to the button of her pants, “well i did have a hard day,” she undoes it and glances at me with an evil smile. “And since you enjoy taking care of strong women” she pulled on her zipper. “Mind doing me a favor?”
Jesus Christ.
“What do you have in mind?” I say, wide eyed. I try to sound cool but my voice comes out hungry. Starved. I watch the switch flip in Ellie's eyes at my words. 
“Take your shirt off.” she demanded with raised brows, and before I could think I was pulling her baggy shirt I was lounging in over my head. I'm left sitting there topless, with nothing but my black underwear on. She rolled famished eyes over my bare skin for what seemed like an eternity. Her eyes settled back on mine. I fidgeted my hands in my lap, feeling suddenly too vulnerable. She leans in slowly without breaking eye contact and my breath catches. Inches from me she whispers “Take off my pants.” 
Immediately I am in her service, at her beck and call. She knows all she has to do is ask. I'll do anything for her. She leans back onto her hands and lifts her hips slightly as I peel her jeans down the soft, yet lean, curves of her hips. Down her thighs, over her knees, and then calves, my eyes tracing every line of her legs. I toss them on the floor, and look back up to her awaiting further instruction. Her eyes are smiling with a dark inflection. 
“Lay down.” I looked at her confused, thinking I was the one taking care of her. Her tone was not a question however, so I obliged. I centered myself on the bed and pulled the nearest pillow under my head, keeping my eyes on her as she stood up and took her white boxers off. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her. Pretty, untamed. My knees squeeze, I don't try to hide it. She looks at them, and scans back up to my eyes. She stares into me as she walks around the bed to my side. I bite at my nail anxiously. 
“I want you to take care of me, make me feel good m’kay? Can you do that for me?” she asks with a small smile. I nod.
She looks over me once again (START OF AUDIO) “fuck, you look so pretty.” She climbs onto the bed, looking at me like prey to a predator. “Be a good girl for me” she whispers, as she swings one of her legs over my head. Shit, I get it now. Her pussy meets my lips and she lets out a soft “fuck” at my eager mouth. My arms wrap around her thighs, hands gripping soft flesh. She starts to move, pleasuring herself on my tongue. She moans softly, “needed this” she says desperately as her eyes drift close and her head drifts to the ceiling. Her taste envelopes me, her wetness growing by the second with the addition of my saliva wetting her folds. 
“Okay,” she moans, picking up her pace, grinding against my face. She looks down at me, before her eyes dart shut “There!”  I feel her body pulse at the peak of her thrusts and I know she's found her spot. Her bud flicking roughly over my tongue. “Oh shit.. There. There we go” she continues at her pace for a moment. Her pulsing getting stronger. Her eyes snap open and peer at me “Jesus, you feel so good.” she says as her head rolls back and her eyes closed again. She continues her rhythm as I pull my arm from under her leg and skim my hand up her body “okay” she says lost in the sensation. My palm cups her right breast and I squeeze impatiently, then rub a loving thumb over her nipple, circling it. “Damn… yeah” she sighs then her hand meets mine and squeezes the sensitive flesh with me “Baby just like that.” she bites her lip with a whispered “fuck” as she rides my face. 
Her moans and the graphic sound of her wetness fill the room. I reach my other hand down into my underwear and begin circling my own clit firmly, unable to avoid the tension building within my own body. “Fuck me.” she whines into the air, before looking down to me with adoring eyes, “that's my good girl.” her eyes tighten, “lets go” she whispers as she begins to grind harder and faster into my mouth. “Come on.” My hand on my core meets her pace. “Good. There. Okay. There we go” I love how she talks mindlessly when we fuck. Her voice is enough to bring me closer to my own apex. I begin moaning beneath her, unable to contain my own pleasure. She looks down at me “shhhh shh shh shh” she hushes as she pulls my hand from my aching clit before I can reach my undoing. I whimper in disappointment as she pulls my arm from beneath her leg and takes my other one from her chest before pinning them above my head in her strong hands, deepening her weight into my face. “Shut up” she corrects. 
Her rhythm continues and I can tell the new pressure she's added is building her quickly. “God damn.” she says as her eyes squeeze shut. “Okay” That same wrinkle between her eyes deepens again, this time out of pleasure. She rides harder pushing the back of my head further into the pillow. Her moans grow louder, more animalistic. her hands on my wrists tighten to the point that I am sure that there will be a mark. “Holy fuck” she gasps. She pushes hard against me and I can feel the pulse intensify, her sounds grow and grow until suddenly her hands let go of my wrists and bury deep into my hair, pushing me even further into her just at the right time when her head falls back in quiet breathy moans, she rides out her high on my mouth. Her legs shaking and clit pounding as I suck against it,  encouraging her. Tasting her. Worshiping her. She lets out a whimpering breath at the end of her climax and looks down at me beneath her. “Oh my god babe.” She slowly lifts off of my face and I see her flinch slightly at the air touching her sensitivity. She takes a breath before looking at me with a lazy smile.
 “All right. Your turn.”
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heartsteel-heartbeats · 6 months
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More dating Heartsteel Kayn HCs (Birthday + Halloween Edition! ft. Rhaast)
Brief mention of drinking, but doesn’t go into full detail.
(( Happy birthday to this silly guy!! 😚😚 )) ~ OBBY 💗
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You’ve known Kayn’s birthday was on the 30th and not the 31st thanks to a certain K/DA member texting him at a very unfortunate time, but you did enjoy the idea of celebrating both days in general. Kayn, on the other hand, prefers the 31st because that is what he says his birthday is. It doesn’t hurt to just simply indulge him. If he wants his birthday on the 31st, who the hell are you to say? Don’t let that stop you from doing something fun on the 30th though. Try to take advantage of the fact he has a habit of staying up very late. As long as you two aren’t caught, perhaps you could get away with a thing or two. Maybe a little spray paint to liven up this boring alley right?
Kayn might catch on to what your intentions are and he will tease you about it and telling you his birthday is tomorrow, but he truly does appreciate what you’re doing. Any moment he can spare just to be with you is everything to him.
“Is this for my birthday? You know that’s tomorrow.” “Whattt? Of course I know that.” “This is for my birthday, isn’t it?” “Totally not.” “It’s totally for my birthday!” “It’s past midnight anyway! It’s your birthday right now!”
On the 31st, do expect Rhaast to make an appearance. In fact, it may or may not have been his idea for you to dress up like him. He thinks it’d look cool, and luckily for both of you, some people seemed to have the same idea to dress up as him. Of course, it’d be obvious to tell which one was the real Rhaast, but you? The media can just say you were just a “mysterious talented artist” who practically nailed the costume. At least they never got a picture of your face or even your name, and they’ll never know that you actually got help from the man himself.
Rhaast does eventually escape from the crowd just to go to you and drag you onto a rooftop to watch everyone else. Does he make fun of other people’s attempts to dress up as him? Absolutely.
“[name]! Look at that one over there!” “A for effort, at least.” “No, that’s too high! Bump it down to C tier.” “Hah! That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? Not even low B tier?” “Not at all!” “Oh come on, look at that one. That one’s not that bad, right?” “Ugh, more like cheaply made.”
Rhaast himself is pretty anti-paparazzi. Not in the “literally blinding in the camera” kind of anti-paparazzi, but rather the one that tends to scare them away quite literally. Popping out of nowhere with a loud “BOO!” and a boisterous laugh. Although in general, Rhaast is just really hard to get a good picture of if it’s not during a show. I mean have you seen him? Look at him go.
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tbh he’d probably scare some kids too
Since we’re talking about Rhaast, let’s talk about your relationship with him. He loves you. In fact, he’s the one that pushed Kayn to approach you when he realized how Kayn felt about you. In a way, you could say this relationship is polyamorous. Rhaast still gets very jealous if he’s not let out to have time with you, though it’s not so different with Kayn. Both of them can get pretty jealous in general.
“You’re such a wimp! Just do it!!” “No..!” “Oh come on!! They’re perfect! You even thought it!” “Well-! Yes, I did! But-!” “They even love the way I work things! If you want them, you have to get them before someone else does! Have you seen how that other guy was looking at them earlier?!” “I am not doing it.” “What’s that saying? “The worst they can do is say no”? Just do it Kayn!!" “Ugh! Fine! Tomorrow." "Pussy."
Rhaast was Kayn's personal alarm that next morning. He wasn't going to let Kayn forget the plan. Let’s just say he was a bit of a mess when he finally came to you thanks to Rhaast, but when you said yes, he was ecstatic. Kayn struggled trying to keep a straight face when all he can hear is Rhaast yelling triumphantly. That was also the day you realized Rhaast wasn't just his "alter-ego," but rather a whole other person that only Kayn hears and lets out time to time. Well, you did like Kayn, and you did like "not simply an alter-ego" Rhaast, so it worked out.
He definitely tried scaring you a few times. Maybe he succeeded, maybe he didn’t, but he’s done a handful of things to you and others to try and get a reaction. Maybe you grew a resistance to it overtime and your reactions gradually changed.
Rhaast does let you snap some pretty cool photos of him which probably includes him doing dangerous stunts. Still, seeing him go do what he loves to do without anything to stop him was nice. That didn’t stop you from being worried if he’ll actually get hurt, though. He sometimes teases you on that. To be fair, he does this all the time and comes out unscathed.
Heading towards your next destination (which would be wherever they had agreed to celebrate his birthday) had to be done with the two of you doing in different routes so that attention wasn’t drawn to either of you, or to you specifically. Wouldn’t want too many speculations now, though it is fun to see the fans create their own thoughts on the matter. They were either entirely wrong, or they were so close to the truth. You were going to meet up again a few blocks from the location, and of course, he was there first waiting for you in a wall just to kind of surprise you. You were greeted by Kayn instead of Rhaast, and he lifts the mask on your face to give you a kiss.
“Hey there gorgeous~” “Hey yourself. Were you just standing in that wall the entire time?” “Guilty as charged. You’re so slow.” “Says the one who can walk in walls.” “Yeah, but you love it when I do it.”
Serves as good time to just walk and chat now that you’re away from the crowd. Most people, and kids, would be at home and maybe sleeping by now, so the streets are rather empty.
“Not that I’m complaining, but are you here because Rhaast is tired?” “If I let Rhaast drink to his heart’s content, none of us will be going home.” “Since when did that ever stop you?” “Yeah… But Yone won’t be letting me off the hook, so I’m unfortunately at a limit.” “And on your birthday. What a shame.”
Whether this is your first time meeting the rest of Heartsteel or not, it’s safe to say you get along with them fairly well. Ezreal wanted all the details, but gets cut off by Kayn who would pull you away from him. K’Sante and Alune are always fun to talk to, so if things get too rowdy, you can run to them and chat for a while.
You’ve spotted Aphelios taking pictures of some stuff happening, like how Kayn and Ezreal are still bickering which he’ll post somewhere later. He’ll probably go to you to show you some photos he took of the others a few days or weeks prior. There was even a photo of Aphelios and Kayn beating Sett with plushies and pillows (Ezreal took the photo). He’ll send it to you if you ask.
You know those little charms he has on his belt of Rhaast and his shadow assassin form? Your gift to him were matching charms of you and him. He wears the charm of you with so much pride, he loves it so much. You're even placed between the two he already had. No one would suspect a thing either if they see your little charm of Kayn. It's normal for people to have silly pins and charms of their favorite artist, and if anyone asks where you got it from, just say you made it yourself. It wasn't a lie after all.
It’s safe to say both Kayn and Rhaast had fun on their 48 hour birthday.
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sidekick-hero · 2 months
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(steddie | teen | 2.3k | tags: rockstar!eddie, addiction, rehab, journaling, only Eddie's entries turn into letters to Steve | Part 2 to Carry You | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost by @yournowheregirl | AO3)
Edited for a big shout out to @steves-strapcollection whose lovely OC has a little cameo here. If you want to know who Tig is, you can find out here. Spoiler: he's amazing and we love him.
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Day 0
Dear Steve,
Hi Stevie,
Apparently, it's not good to "bottle up" your feelings. They say it makes drinking or drugs or any other addiction so tempting. It makes it easier to keep all that stuff inside you and let it fester until you need more and more of whatever it is that helps you cope. So the first rule of rehab: Talk, don't take.
That's a long way of saying I need to keep a journal like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. It's either that or a daily crying session with the other "inmates" here, and I'd rather not have to tell Terry the old gossip my own tragic sob story. She already told me the life stories of two other patients here at dinner.
Instead, I decided to write to you. You're the one person I regret the most pushing away, and even though you'll probably never see this, it feels good to tell you these things now. Like a dry run. Because, baby, when I get out of here, I swear I will let you in. I won't make the same mistakes.
You will never go another day without knowing how much you mean to me.
How much I love you.
You only left an hour ago and I already miss you. I can't believe I've survived six months without you. Well, I barely did. I wish I could call you, but phone privileges are only for those who make it through their first week here.
I know we chose this center together knowing that they don't allow visitors for at least three weeks. Maybe longer if my therapist says I'm not ready. Fuck, three weeks didn't sound so bad when we talked about it, but now? In this ugly, impersonal room that smells clean but is totally clinical. You know, that mix of disinfectant and sterile air with a hint of medication lingering in the background. It sounds like an eternity and then some.
Nothing here feels comfortable or warm, and I miss your face so much it physically hurts.
But I promised myself I'd do whatever it took. For you and Wayne, for the boys and the kids.
So, day 0, the journey begins.
Fuck, I almost forgot: I'm supposed to answer three questions every day.
How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.
See above. I miss you, that's how I am. I want this to be over. I hate that I'm here and even more that I'm the one who got me here. I feel like a fuckup. It's hard not to when I see how I've ruined everything good in my life. But then I remember the way you kissed me goodbye. The smile on your face when you told me how proud you were of me. The way you kissed my hand because you couldn't let go and whispered, "I'll see you soon," and I want to have hope.
What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?
Get through the day without doing anything I'll regret.
What are you grateful for in your own life today?
You. That you didn't give up on me. (And the Gummi Bears you hid at the bottom of the bag, you minx. Thank you.)
Day 4
Sweetheart,
I'm not doing so well. It's hard. Who am I kidding? It sucks. My body hurts from how much I want to use. My brain is so very loud, Stevie. So, so loud. I try to remember how you managed to calm me down when my brain got like this. What helped the most was to wear me out by fucking me senseless, but that's not an option. But maybe I will try to go for a walk or even do some of those exercises you always tried to get me to do. The ones that usually led to fucking because I could never behave.
My therapist is nice. Her name is Laura, and so far she's taking everything I throw at her in stride. Talking to her feels like pulling my own teeth and I feel like shit afterwards, but I sleep better. Who would have thought, huh?
I miss you.
How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.
Not good. I wonder if I can really do this. It doesn't feel like it right now. I'm afraid I won't make it. That I will screw up again. That if I do, it'll kill me and I'll be grateful because I couldn't live with myself if I did.
I don't want to die, Stevie.
What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?
Talk to the weird kid who always sits by himself during meals. He looks lost. Maybe he knows DnD.
What are you grateful for in your own life today?
Still you. Every day. Wayne, for taking me in when I felt like a failure too. Unlovable. Worthless. He never stopped believing in me. Even when I gave him every reason not to. I don't know how I deserve him or you, but I am so fucking grateful.
Day 7
Fuck, I missed your voice. God. I'm sorry I lost it like that. I didn't want the first thing you heard from me after a week apart to be me ugly sobbing into the phone.
I wanted to tell you so many things. I had a plan, you know? But hearing your voice when you said, "Hi, baby," it just broke me. You sounded like you missed me too, like you were relieved to hear my voice too, and you didn't even realize how scared I was that you wouldn't.
We just hung up, but I want to call you again. Just to hear you breathing on the other side so I know you're still there. Waiting for me. Your hand still gripping mine so I wouldn't get lost.
You said, "I'll hear you tomorrow," like it was set in stone, no doubt about it. It made me feel, fuck, I don't even know. Like this is real. I didn't die on that bathroom floor, and you giving me another chance isn't some kind of hallucination or afterlife dream.
I'm rambling, sorry. Even in writing I can't help it.
One day I'll write it all down in a way that makes sense, I promise.
I love how patient you are with me. No one has ever been. I was always too loud, too distracted, too weird, too complicated, too much. But not to you.
I wish you were here to take me in your arms, it's hard not to fall apart without you holding me together.
How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.
Better. Fucking determined to get through this and get back to you. Still scared.
What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?
Have a real conversation with you without breaking down on the phone. Here's to hoping. Detoxing and being sober has given me a hair trigger on my emotions, it seems.
What are you grateful for in your own life today?
Your patience. Your grace. Your voice in my ear. That you still haven't given up on me. DnD, for giving me a purpose when I needed one, a tool to give others the help I so desperately wanted. The weird kid's name is Alex, and he does know DnD. We'll try to find more people for a campaign.
Day 16
Steve, baby,
I am so fucking sorry. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm such an asshole. Please pick up the phone. I need to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean it, I was just scared. When you said that maybe Laura was right and you shouldn't come to see me next week if I wasn't ready, I thought you didn't want me anymore. That you finally got tired of holding my hand and watching me do those damn baby steps. It's been over two weeks, why am I not better? Why am I not done with this shit?
I want to be done, I swear.
Please don't leave me.
Please pick up the phone.
Please, please, please.
How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.
Fuck this shit, what good is it if I keep hurting you?
What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?
Stop being a fucking asshole.
What are you grateful for in your own life today?
I want it to be you, but I'm not sure I even have you in my life anymore.
Day 23
Stevie,
I'm scared. Isn't this the stupidest thing you've ever heard? A few days ago I begged to see you. Fuck, I was so desperate to see you that I almost ruined everything. I'm still sorry, I hope you know that. I know, I know, you said that it's okay and that it can't be all smooth sailing, that you forgive me. That you'll keep forgiving me as long as I keep coming back to talk to you, to explain, to show you that I mean it.
And now I've got the all clear for you to come and see me, and I'm too scared to tell you.
I'm still not the man I want to be. The man who deserves someone like you.
Laura told me that love isn't something you deserve, it's something freely given. We don't decide if someone can love us, only they do. And that I have to stop pushing people away because I'm convinced they can't love me. It's their choice and I shouldn't try to take it away from them.
I think about this a lot.
I want to let you love me, I do. It's just hard for me to understand why you would want to do that at all. It's something Laura wants to work on with me as well.
There is so much work to do. I hate to bother you with it. To make it your problem. I wanted to come in here and two weeks later walk out a new man. A better one. One you can love easily and who can love you back in a way you can understand. A man Wayne can be proud to call his son. A man Gareth and Jeff and Grant want to have as a friend, as a bandmate. A man the kids can look up to as much as they look up to you.
Laura said I should take the hand you are holding out to me. It's a decision I make every day. I took it in the hospital. I took it when you drove me here.
I should take it by letting you in, letting you see the work in progress that I am right now.
I think I will call you after dinner to tell you.
How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.
Fuck if I know. It's a lot to feel when you've numbed your feelings for so long. I remember why I did it, but I won't do it again, I'll learn to deal with it.
What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?
Take you in my arms and hold you. Let myself be held by you.
What are you grateful for in your own life today?
Your hand in mine. The thought of you that keeps me going. Your bravery. Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas. They call me all the time, you know. Asking me about my first campaign here, telling me about their lives. Keeping in touch, even though I failed them almost as much as my old man did me.
Day 31
Steve, my love,
You're on your way to pick me up and I can't believe we made it here. It's not done, it probably never will be. I know that now. I have to keep working on myself and being well. But it's so fucking worth it, Stevie.
I'm glad that Laura agreed to stay my therapist even if I leave the center. I trust her. She gets me, she knows when to push me and tell me the ugly truth, and when I need time to process things.
I haven't told you yet, but I'm not going back to Corroded Coffin. At least not right now. I talked to the guys and they all agreed that it's best if I take some time for myself. And for you. For my family and friends. They actually have a guy named Tig who auditioned while I was here and they like him. He's good, they sent me a demo. They asked me if it would be okay and I said it would be. It's true, even though it hurts. I have to do this for myself.
Because I am going to give this to you later, I want to tell you something here before I lose my courage.
Steve. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't always shown you the way you deserve. Hell, some days I certainly didn't act like it. My worst days. But I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.
But I also learned to like myself a little better here. I no longer want to punish myself for things that were out of my control, like my mom dying or my dad not caring enough for me to stay. I want to be loved. I want you to love me. I want to let you.
I want to finally leave the past behind and allow myself to think about the future. And whenever I do, you're in it. You're the anchor, the epicenter of all my plans.
Stevie, sweetheart, I want to marry you.
Don't worry, I'm not proposing. This is just something I needed to tell you. Someday I want to be your husband, if you want me.
You are my past, my present and my future.
This is me taking your hand every day until I die or you stop reaching for me.
How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.
So fucking excited to have you all to myself again. Seriously, I'm going a little crazy. I'm also hopeful about the future. And in love. I'm so fucking in love with you.
What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?
To start our life together without forgetting what came before.
What are you grateful for in your own life today?
My second chance.
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Note
Happy with the staff content this year but am I the only one who is disappointed with the PV we got? It's basically a slideshow of art we've already seen, major downgrade from the year 1 PV that had literally all the events. There was a drop in quality of the anniversary PVs over the years and it really shows this year. Sorry if you find this too negative I don't mean to hate I just wish Twst would do better for it's ANNIVERSARY.
[For everyone's reference, here are the anniversary PVs in order of release: 2021 / 2022 / 2023 / 2024]
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Mmm, now that you mention it, I noticed this trend with the Halloween PVs 🤔 For year 1, there was a video that showed all members of the NRC casy, even those that did not receive cards at that time. There were then several short variants of the PV released for year 2/Endless Halloween Night (part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4). Altogether, they feature all of the characters, including the students from year 1 but heavily shadowed and with glowing eyes to indicate ghostly possession. Even Glorious Masquerade features all of the students that get new cards for the event plus Rollo, although there are notably more still shots here. The Stage in Playful Land CM, by comparison, is significantly shorter and only shows us the three SSRs (Ace, Ortho, and Kalim) as well as the two new characters (Fellow and Gidel).
As this anon has said, the anniversary PVs have changed a lot over time too. The first one was the most animated and integrated several event outfits. The second one was also animated a fair amount, but you can tell corners were cut in some places where they transition to photographs/still images. This alone works thematically given that the player is a photographer, but you can still catch dips in quality when it comes to the art style. I remember finding Deuce running and the Kalim + Silver flying scene odd, as well as Jade and Trein's faces strange in general. Then the third PV rolls around and it only features the third years; the animation also seems to be much more sluggish (although this could be a stylistic choice; not sure). A friend actually recently pointed out to me that Lilia's pose looks like he was pulled straight from other assets; his artwork in the animation is almost the exact same as his smiling expression in the game. This year's is the most different (+ most static) and, like year 3's PV, only provides "new" content for a select few characters (the dorm leaders). They also reuse pre-existing illustrations already found in the game that don't seem to be picked for any particular reason (like, there are random Master Chef/Culinary Crucibles groovies in there). This direction, I'm guessing, is less costly and more efficient than making an entirely original animation, which is what was done in previous years. (Not that Disney or Aniplex is hurting for money to fund this, lol) Would I have preferred another PV in the style of year 1's? Yeah, for sure. I want to see other events and their outfits animated! Was what we got this year bad? Not necessarily; I think the production and editing was very technically impressive, but I'm still sad we didn't get anything substantially "new" to chew on (as someone who isn't a fan of most third years or the dorm leaders). Maybe it's just something we perceive as a deficit only because year 1 set the bar so high. It is what it is; whoever was in charge of the anniversary PV was probably doing the best they could with whatever budget they were given 😔 Let's hope that next year's will be a return to form, or that at least the money/effort is being redirected to other bigger projects (maybe the anime?).
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 1 month
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This Is Where You Stand With Me (part 2)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader
Warnings: none
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Part 1 here
Y/N's POV
"Hola madre!" I say jokingly as my mother answered the phone.
"Too much influence from Sophie's boyfriend or what?" She chuckles.
"Yeah, something like that." I laugh adjusting myself on the couch. "How are you? What's new?" I ask.
"Nothing much, I'm just going back home from work. What's up with you?"
"I'm enjoying my day off from work." I say biting my lip not sure how's she going to react to my new "job" which I haven't told her about yet. But I'm certain she's not going to be thrilled about it.
"What do you mean y/n? What work?" As soon as she says "Y/N" I know there's no joking anymore.
"Well," I take a deep breath before I continue. "First of all, don't freak out, it's only my temporary job, you know while I'm here in Monaco with Sophie. And second of all, I started working for Ferrari practically. I'm managing their social media."
"Explain it a bit better, please. What does that mean?" She asks confused.
"Basically, I'm spending a lot of time with their drivers. I'm filming them for social media, like when they're getting ready for the race, asking them some questions, filming behind the scenes like what happens before the race, filming them training and stuff like that you know. And I edit those videos and then post them." I try to explain to her as simply as possible. but my mom, like most others, is not on the internet, she is not interested in the world of social media and probably still does not understand why anyone would be interested in any of this.
"So who are you filming then? Sophie's boyfriend and?"
"Carlos and Charles." As I say his name my mind wanders briefly to Charles and the grand prix from last weekend. I wonder how he is, and if he talked to Ava. and what happened between them afterwards. I also wonder if he has already thrown somewhere the bracelet I gave him. As I've already said, you just never know with him.
"Y/n?" My mom's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"
"Sorry my thoughts wandered for a moment. What did you ask?"
"I asked if you are satisfied with that job? Are you treated well? What are those boys like?" Like any mother, she worriedly asks a million questions and I, like any other daughter, of course, will not tell her everything in detail.
I have always been close to my mother, but I never liked to share every detail of my life with her, even though she wanted to know it. But I just wasn't comfortable with her knowing all my private things. I believe that you can be close to your mother, without her being involved in all your decisions, attitudes and thoughts. We talk more or less about everything, but I have set some boundaries for myself about what I want to share with her and I think that's exactly why we have a relatively good and healthy relationship.
"Yeah, I mean it's not something I'll do forever, it's just a temporary type of thing, so while I'm here I might as well earn some money." I say. "And everybody's nice to me, of course, I already told you that Carlos is a wonderful person and boyfriend to Sophie, and Charles..He's not so bad either."
"You don't sound so convincing with the other one." She says referring to Charles.
"Don't worry really, both of them are very nice, it's just that I don't know Charles very well yet and I haven't spent much time with him so I can't say much about him." I say honestly.
While talking to her on the phone, I get up and head to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. While walking to the kitchen, I pass by the mirror and almost get scared when I see what I look like. Shaggy hair in a bun, without a hint of makeup, braless in an extra-large t-shirt with a print of Los Pollos Hermanos that also serves as my nightgown and house slippers on my feet. I guess I'm not one of those ex girlfriends that has a glow up after a breakup, but oh well.
"Well, as long as you're happy and safe, I'm fine with it." My mom says. "And besides, I think it's good for you that you left Manchester for a bit. Stay as long as you want."
"Really?" I am a bit taken aback and surprised by her words. "How come you think so?" I ask while waiting for coffee to be poured from the machine into the cup.
"I-I.." Just as she was about to say something the doorbell rings. Sophie went to lunch with Carlos, I doubt they forgot their keys.
"Mom, there's someone at the door, I'll have to call you a little later, okay?"
"Okay, we'll talk later, bye." She says and I hung up the phone.
I leave my phone on the kitchen counter and just as I'm about to go into the hallway to open the door, I accidentally pull the cup with my hand and spill hot coffee on my right thigh.
"Ouchh!" I almost scream in pain while the hot coffee continues to pour down my leg. "Fuck!!" My eyes get watery from the pain and stinging. Cursing my clumsiness I grab a cloth and wipe my thigh which is burning more and more and the doorbell keeps ringing. I go and open the front door when none other than Charles is standing leaning against the door frame.
"Charles, what are you doing here?" I ask with a sniff. I don't open the door all the way, but just peek out with my head. The last thing I needed is him here while I'm crying over my coffee burn and looking like I got mowed by a tornado.
"Y/n, are you alright? Why are you crying?" He asks, his expression immediately turned serious as he tries to enter.
"I just spilled hot coffee on myself. Please don't come in.." I really don't want him to see me like this.
"Let me help you." He says ignoring me and coming in anyway closing the door behind him.
"No, Charles..I-I'll be fine." I say pulling my t-shirt down with one hand and still holding the cloth with the other one.
"Let me see." He bends down and removes my hand with which I'm holding the cloth. "You got burned well." He says.
"Yeah, I can feel it. It hurts pretty bad."
"Come here." He waves his hand for me to follow him into the bathroom. It seems like he has already been in this apartment before. They probably had some gathering at Sophie's, so he knows where everything is.
"Sit there." He says pointing to the tub as he takes a small towel from the shelf under the sink and soaks it in cold water. I briefly feel a sense of relief as he kneels down in front of me and places a wet towel over my burn.
"You know, I really appreciate your help, but I feel terribly uncomfortable-"
"Yeah, I already saw that you don't have a bra on." He cuts me off and my cheeks instantly get as red as the burn on my thigh.
"You don't have to point it out like that.." I can't help but chuckle a little at his nonchalant response.
"You really do have to stop embarrassing yourself in front of me." He laughs.
"Why did you come here in the first place?" I ask shaking my head.
"I'm here to pick up Carlos. We agreed to go to the gym together, and he said he would be at Sophie's." He says taking the towel off my thigh and soaking it again. "So here I am. Where are the two of them anyway?"
"They went out for lunch. I think they should be back any minute now since they've been gone for a while." As he comes back with the cold towel I notice that he's wearing the red bracelet I gave him last weekend. He puts the towel over my thigh again and gently presses it.
"And what are you doing alone in the apartment, except destroying it?" I really like this funny side of Charles. For I moment I wished he could be like this all the time.
"Certainly not waiting for you." I playfully answer back.
"Yeah, sure you aren't." He says confidently and I roll my eyes at him. "I'm going to clean up that coffee you spilled on the floor." You can see the kitchen from the bathroom, so he definitely made sure I knew that he saw the mess I made.
While Charles is cleaning up in the kitchen, I quickly go to my room and put on shorts and a bra under my t shirt. Since he's already seen me at my worst, I decide not to fix my hair but to leave it messy like this. It's already too late now to look presentable anyway.
"Have you put on a bra yet?" He asks shamelessly as I enter the kitchen.
"Has anyone ever told you that you can be very inappropriate?" I honestly ask him.
"Quite rude thing to say to someone who just helped you."
"Thank you. Charles. For your generous help." I say slightly sarcastically through gritted teeth. "Do you want me to check when they're coming back?"
"Why? Can't wait to get rid of me?"
"No." I roll my eyes. "I'm just asking if you're in a hurry."
"I'm not. I'll wait for him. I hope they'll be back soon." He says taking a seat on the high chair at the kitchen island.
"Do you want something to drink while you wait?"
"A glass of water will do."
I reach for a glass from the top kitchen unit and in the process I scratch the injured thigh on the handle of the lower element. I wince in pain and curse under my breath.
"Be careful, where is your towel?" Charles asks me getting up from the chair. Before I can say I left it on the tub, he's already back from the bathroom with it. "Sit there." He almost orders me and I do it obediently while he soaks the towel again in the kitchen sink. He moves my hand from my thigh and puts the wet towel over it.
I don't know why, but I decide not to tell him that I can do it myself. And he doesn't say it either but proceeds to hold his hand a little longer over the cold compress looking down at it and gently pressing on it. I lift up my head to look up at him and for a second we lock our eyes together without saying a word.
"I-I.." In a moment of nervousness I wanted to say something just to break the silence, but luckily I hear the front door open. Charles quickly moves his hand away and goes to the opposite side of the kitchen island clearing his throat.
"Hello..guys..?" Sophie says as Carlos and her enter the kitchen looking very confused at the scene before them.
part 3
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kandavers · 9 months
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Kandavers Nation, I’m very sorry to say, but this Art Theft thing has been stressing me out a good amount lately... I used to feel very Happy and Safe being able to post artworks without the need to put a large/noticeable watermark on them, but now I’m embroidering my username onto the characters’ clothes and everything, and though it’s a Cool and Fun Idea, it really is actually out of spite. As a result, I feel like the Love I put inside my Art has plunged significantly because of it :(
I’m not saying I’m quitting Art or going to stop Drawing Welcome Home content or anything (Although I actually considered it for a second...), but, once again, I am Kindly requesting you to report this thieving channel. And one more thing you can do for me is go onto each of their reels/videos and comment asking them to at least give proper credits to the artists they stole from or take the videos down. Mention the artists, if you know them. For example, "this art is originally made by kandavers! this account is a repost account so please stop supporting them and support the real artist instead!"
PS. PLEASE DON'T ATTACK THEM! Just kindly tell them to take the video down, okay?
i feel like if a lot of people comment smth like that, the more likely for it to surface at the top of the comment section and more ppl will see
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The pure disrespect they have for me is unreal. They post shorts with no captions, no nothing, and get tens of thousands of views they dont deserve. And not to mention... the poor choice of audio... and overall extremely low quality editing... It makes me sad. There was no justice for me.
I would usually have no problem with comic dubs or edits, or anything, but please please please ask me first and have the basic decency of properly crediting me!
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And someone even had the gall to reply to my post about an art reposter and say I'm the bad guy for wanting to get the videos where someone stole my art taken down. I literally can't with these people.
"What did they even do to you" Umm... They stole my art? This person with the gacha life Wally x OC pfp wanted people to report me for wanting to take down a repost account. I can't do this anymore 💀 They probably don't realize that if I ever stop drawing, half of the repost channel's content will be gone. Literally. Imagine defending reposters and then insulting my emoji usage too. (This is why I hate minors /hj)
Usually I wouldn't pick fights or escalate things when I don't need to, but this is genuinely upsetting me and I literally filed a takedown to YouTube so that the reposts will go away.
In the meantime, I think I'm going to need a break for a couple of days to gather myself again. However I managed to cook some art for you to enjoy over this weekend! Hopefully that will fill your Kandavers Art Needs while I am away.
Thank you for your help! And see you soon.
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samkerrworshipper · 6 months
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togetherness | pt.2
part 1. | part 2. | part 3. | part 4. | part 5 |
longawaited and has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now cause i wasn’t quite sure if i liked the direction it’s gone in… but highliting different issues n stuff so i hope y’all enjoy! again i’ve edited this on my phone whilst reading from my kindle lol so not going to lie i’m aware that the editing could be shocking… there’s a few more parts sitting in my drafts so lmk if y’all want more
warnings: child exploitation, themes of sexual assault of minors, just general hurt with protective n supportive tillies
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“Now that we’ve settled that, is there anything, anything at all that you’d like to tell me that I could help you with?”
I gulped, there were about six things I could think of just off the top of my head. I was tentative though. I could feel tears starting to form in the back of my eyes as I tried to make the decision in my head.
“No judgement?”
Sam’s immediate nod in response was comforting and apparently enough to get me talking.
“It’s going to sound stupid and I don’t even know what you could do about it considering that I’m probably somewhere in the wrong with it as well.”
Sam looked like a mixture of intrigued and perplexed.
“Y/n, even if I can’t do anything about it, you look like you just need to get it off your chest, I can be that for you as well, just tell me what’s been bothering you so much.”
I sniffled and nodded at Sam, this situation was so abnormally vulnerable for me.
“You know that I was rough around the edges when I got here, I know you haven’t heard the whole story, to put it simply I went through a rough patch when I was 14 and 15, before I got here. I’d just had spine surgery, I thought that I was never going to walk again, let alone play football. I turned to a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, anything. I ran away when I was 14, I don’t remember much of it, just that when I returned home my parents had had enough and they sent me off to the AIS for Tony to train me. Anyways, I’m rambling. Somewhere along the road I sent some explicit videos, photos and texts to my ex boyfriend, graphic ones, there’s a lot of them. He’s been posting them on reddit and twitter and they haven’t gotten any attention yet but with all the media coverage and bad press I’ve had recently I’m worried they are going to be brought up and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Sam’s expression was one thing, completely deflated and shocked. She was typing furiously into her phone whilst she was listening to my story. It took a few minutes of silence for her to reply to me.
“First off I want to start off with telling you how grateful I am for you sharing that information with me, it can’t have been easy and you are incredibly brave for telling me. I’ve got some follow up questions that I need to ask, you don’t have to answer them, I’d just appreciate it if you could try your best, okay?”
I nodded quickly in reply to Sam.
“Okay. How old were you when you sent these videos and how old was your boyfriend at the time?”
“I was 14 or 15, he was in his mid twenties.”
“So that puts him in his late 20s or early 30s right now, if my maths is correct. Did you take these photos and videos or did someone else?”
“I took most of them but he took some.”
Sam nodded at me again.
“Okay based on that question I can tell you that this ex boyfriend of yours is legally in possession of child pornography, that’s an indictable crime. If you want this to well and truly stop then we can go up that path. I want us to talk about this with Tony, it’s ultimately your decision but I think it would be very sensible to take this up with him at the very least. Y/n, you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I need to stress to you how important it is that you understand that. No one is going to blame this on you, because it isn’t your fault, you are a victim of a crime. That isn’t something light. I promise you that I have your best interests in concern when I’m telling you this. I have to ask, have you talked to anyone else about this? Your family? A therapist? A friend? Leah?”
Leah Williamson, my arsenal team captain and my best friend/mom/girlfriend. I shook my head at Sam, I’d wanted to tell Leah, she was the only person I probably trusted enough to tell but I hadn’t seen her in weeks.
“Do you want to talk to someone about it?”
“I was going to talk to Lee about it, eventually. Just with her ACL and us being in different places it didn’t make much sense, plus this stuff is so fucking stupid I didn’t want to bother anyone with it, I’m sorry for bothering you with it, Ellie was right I’m being fucking selfish.”
Sam’s face was unreadable, it was clear she was pretty deep in thought. She sat across from me for a few minutes, in thought, before she stood up and walked around the table, sitting herself down beside me.
“Can I give you a hug?”
I nodded and relaxed a little bit as I felt Sam’s arm snake its way across my shoulders, inevitably bringing me closer to her and into her chest.
“Williamson would want you to tell her, she’ll probably be mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You are not being a bother to anyone, you have human emotions and this situation you are in is a hard one. You aren't being selfish, you are asking for help, which is a very human thing and you very clearly need it right now, there is nothing wrong with that. Now, how about I call Williamson for you, I’ll see you if you can get down here? I’m going to call Tony down here, I’ll brief him and he’ll help, okay?”
“I don’t want to tell Tony, he’s going to be mad and he’ll probably tell me this kind of behaviour isn’t wanted on his team and then I’ll get sent home.”
I could feel the material of Sam’s jumper that she must have thrown on after training soaking up my tears, that was embarrassing.
“I know you don’t want to, and I can promise you that Tony is going to be nothing but supportive, you’ve done nothing wrong. There is nothing illegal about what you did, now or then. Tony is not going to send you home, I promise. Now, do I need to call Williamson or can you do it?”
Realistically I probably could have, but I really didn’t want to.
“Can you?”
Sam nodded at me immediately, which comforted me a little bit.
“I wouldn’t have offered it if I couldn’t. She should be in Sydney right now to watch the Lionesses play tomorrow night, yeah? I’ll talk to her and we’ll see what we can work out for you. I don’t have her number though, so can you call her on your phone and I’ll talk to her.”
I nodded quickly, shakingly pulling my phone out of my pocket and pushing it out onto the table. I very quickly pulled Leah's contact, I’d called her last night so it wasn’t hard to find. She was the only person in the world that I could talk to when I was at my lowest, the only person who actually cared about me. So last night, whilst I was mid panic attack, on Ellie's and I’s ensuite floor I called her and she’d talked me through it. I should have told her then, it probably would have saved me this whole interaction with Sam, but I hadn’t wanted to worry her anymore, so I blamed it on pressure of being selected to start this week and she’d accepted my answer.
We’d been texting most of the morning, her asking me if I’d gotten sleep and if I was feeling alright, I’d answered shortly with an array of 'yes', because I didn’t want to worry her anymore. I passed the phone over to Sam once I found her phone number and she clicked the call button before pressing the phone up to her ear and standing up from her seat, starting to pace between the seats.
“Hey Leah, this is Sam, Sam Kerr, from the Matildas. Look, I’m here at our Sydney training facility with Y/n, we’ve just had a pretty serious conversation with her about some problems that she’s had recently and I was wondering if you were around so you could be here for her.”
Sam pulled out her own phone again as I assumed she listened to Leah’s response. It amazed me as to how fast her fingers danced across her own screen, it was a different kind of multi tasking.
“Yup, Mmm. Alright, I’ll send you the address, it’s not far from you guys hotel from recollection. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being able to do this for her, I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it then.”
I gulped as Sam said her farewells and then hung up the phone before walking back over to me.
“She’s coming down, should be here in fifteen or so. She sounded worried about you, mentioned something about you having a panic attack to her on the phone last night and that she was concerned about you. I’ve texted Tony, he’s finishing up with Ellie and then he’s going to be down here. I’m going to get Steph to meet Leah downstairs when she gets here and she’ll bring her up, Y/n, we’re all here to support you however you need, alright?”
Me and Sam stayed silent in the room until about ten minutes later there was a distinct knock against the door.
“Sam, it’s me, unlock the door.”
Steph’s voice was pretty distinct, even through the heavy door. Sam stood up almost immediately, walking to the door and unlocking it before a grumpy looking Steph and a flustered version of Leah made their way through the doorway before Sam had the opportunity to relock it. Leah’s eyes went straight to my own, her whole facial expression was very controlled, she could command an entire room with that face, I knew from experience.
“Are you okay?”
Her words were directed at me, and only me. I pressed my tongue against my front teeth and lip, trying to decide how to answer the question.
“There’s some stuff that’s been happening that I haven’t told you, I’m not in trouble, or at least that’s what Sam is telling me. It’s some stuff from my past, when I was a kid. Explicit images and photos, on the internet, from when I was a kid. They popped up a few weeks ago, starting when I was in Spain with you before we came here. I didn’t bring it up because I thought I was at fault for it as much as the person who has possession of them. Sam told me that it isn’t, that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry, I know it was fucking stupid and I should have told you about it or not done it, I don’t even remember taking any of the photos or videos, it just happened and now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want it getting out to the public and I just, I don’t know how to deal with it.”
Leah’s face relaxed a little bit as I progressively talked and rambled. Once I was done she walked over to my spot, seated on one of the chairs and wrapped her arms around me.
“Hey, it’s alright, we’re going to sort this out. She’s right, you didn’t do anything wrong and you should have told me earlier but I am so grateful that you are telling me now, yeah? You are so brave kiddo, that’s child exploitation and whoever has possession of those materials is the one who’s in the wrong, okay?”
I nodded into Leah, Steph and Sam were whispering between each other behind us.
“You have to take legal action though.”
Those words made me feel like I’d been stabbed and my guts had been ripped out of my body cavity.
Leah let go of me very gently and pursed her lips.
“Because this isn’t going to go away if you don’t, and I know that you are strong but you aren’t going to be able to live if you know that this person who has possession of these materials is still out there. You’ve been checked out for weeks now, since before Mallorca. You aren’t going to check back into your life until this goes, I know it. I need you checked in, I need you to be my girl, not the skeleton of your own body that you inhabit as a coping mechanism when something bad happens.”
I think Leah would have said more if it wasn’t for the incessant knocking against the door that came again. Sam was the one who went to the door again, letting Tony in. He looked flustered as well, and a little bit worried. I’d known the man since I was 15, he’d seen me in some pretty interesting situations. Sam intercepted him before he could say anything, pulling him aside and giving him what I assumed to be the rundown of the last hour.
“I don’t think I can handle this getting out, it will, if I take legal action this is going to get out and then I’m going to be Y/n Y/l/n, the Matilda’s exploitative rookie and I’ll never be back here. My career will be over, Jonas won’t want me back, everything I've worked for will be done.”
Leah took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around me and working her hands through my scalp and hair.
“If you take legal action you will be supported, I’ll make sure of it. We are a part of a community of women that uplift us for everything you do, this won’t be any different. There will be some who judge, there is always going to be someone there to judge you. Y/n, you need to do this for your sanity, I won’t lose you to your mental health again, not like last year. Kerr has done the right thing here, bringing this up, it shows me that she cares a lot more about you then you think, it also shows me that she knows what’s best for this team and you. She wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t think this was the best course of action.”
I nodded into Leah, trying to convince myself that her words were correct. Eventually, after Sam had given Tony the full rundown he sat down across from me, exactly where Sam had been beforehand. Sam and Steph both stood behind me and Leah, Sam’s arms resting gently on my shoulders, it was grounding.
“Sam’s told me about what’s happening. First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, it’s not something that anyone should have to deal with, ever. Second of all I want to let you know that this team, this whole nation is in support of you. Look, it’s too late for me to take any action now. I’m going to get the police to come down tomorrow morning, you aren’t in trouble. I just think that they are going to have a better understanding of this situation than any of us could. They’ll come down, we’ll have a talk about all of this, they’ll ask the questions they need to. We don’t need to make any decisions now, we’ll talk to them, Sam and I will be there to advocate for you. After that we can make decisions about taking legal action and whatnot. Otherwise I just wanted to tell you genuinely, from the bottom of my heart how much we all care about you and value you here, we are all going to be here for whatever you need in the future, you are a valued part of this team and family and we are all here to look out for your needs, okay?”
I gulped, I could feel fresh tears springing to my eyes again. I was petrified of the police, to say the least, but Tony’s voice was so reassuring. He was the father that I’d never had and when I was 15 and he’d met me I’d been in a bad place, I’d needed him to be that figure in my life and he had been. He gave me a routine, gave me something to wake up for every morning. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Tony. He’d given me a chance when no one else had been prepared to and for that I would always be in debt to him for.
“Okay, I’ll get in contact with the police, we’ll get a constable down tomorrow morning and we can have an open conversation with them about it, you are not in trouble, nothing is going to happen that will end in consequences for you. I think though that you need to head back to the hotel and get some proper sleep, your body needs it. So head back, don’t worry about any of this, because I’m going to sort it out and we’ll talk about it in the morning with a clean slate and mindset, alright?”
I nodded at Tony, I didn’t really have much to say.
“Thank you Coach.”
He nodded at me, before standing up and walking around to the other side of the octoval table and giving me a pat on the back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t worry about this anymore, it’s going to be okay. Get back to the hotel, we’ve got an early wakeup tomorrow.”
I nodded at Coach, watching as he left the room just as quickly as he’d entered it.
“I’ve talked to Steph, her and I are rooming together so we’ll switch, she’ll stay with Ellie and you can come and room in with me, I think we’ll keep it that way for the rest of the tournament.”
I looked over at Sam, nodding along with what she was saying. Leah reached her arms around me, a big bear hug.
“And I am here, I expect you to check in with me, at least twice a day. When you guys head off to Melbourne or Brisbane I’m not going to be able to be there, so I need you to stay in contact with me, okay? Anybody does so much as look at you wrong I want to be the first to know, okay?”
I nodded at Leah, half in fear, half in adoration. She was the only person in the world that I actually trusted in. Our bond had been forced, when I’d moved to London to play for Arsenal I’d been moved into the spare room in her apartment and in a very short amount of time we’d created a bond that extended beyond the realm of friendship. I loved her, she was the first person besides Tony to give me a chance and he was obligated to give me on, Leah had chosen to fight for me and to stick by my side even when it wasn’t easy, she was a good person, better than I was sure I’d ever be.
“We’ll drop you back to your hotel on our way home Williamson, it’s the least we could do considering you got here so quickly, can you just give us five minutes to grab our things from the locker room?”
Sam’s voice held no room for argument, she was insisting on giving Leah a ride home and Leah didn’t try to object.
“Please, call me Leah and if it’s no trouble I would really appreciate it. I can meet you guys down in the foyer in about five, I need to go to the loo, so whilst I’m doing that how about you guys go and get your stuff together?”
Sam, Steph and I all walked back down to the change rooms in a comfortable silence. It was when we actually made it back to the rooms that I realised I still had my boots on, the cleats that were spotless from not even getting any wear at training. The cleats that a few hours ago had seemed impossible to tie up. I made quick business of pulling them off of my feet, throwing them into my kit bag and pulling out the pair of Nike dunks that I’d worn in earlier when we’d all come down here for our match analysis. Sam and Steph both made quick work off slipping out of their training kits and changing into sweat pant duos that matched with me. After they’d gotten changed and refreshed we all grabbed our bags and whatever other things we had lying around before making our way down to the foyer.
Leah was waiting for us, tapping her foot violently against the marble floors. When she spotted the three of us out of the corner of her eye her stress ceased almost immediately. I’d learnt a lot about Leah in the amount of time I’d known her. One thing about England’s captain was that she was not as fearless as everyone credited her as being, she put on a brave face, a bloody good one, but she was just as human as everyone else and sometimes it showed, especially when she felt uncomfortable in a situation or she didn’t think she deserved to be where she was. I’d moved in with her initially just before she'd led the Lionesses to their victory at the euro’s, and at the time Leah had been a basket case to be nice. I think that was how we’d bonded, through our similar insecurities of not being good enough to fill the shoes that had been passed down to us.
“C’mon cap, let’s get going.”
Leah smiled at me and nodded. We’d been keeping our relationship under wraps for a few months now. Neither of us were insecure in our situation and we were happy to enjoy our private, happy and blessed life together. Plus we hadn’t really seen much of each other in the past month or so, being caught up with our obligations to our national teams. Leah was also very committed to her rehab and I couldn’t be there for every step of that so we’d spent some time apart. We’d both agreed when the new Arsenal season rolled around that we’d tell the team, but still keep it under wraps from the public for as long as we could. Neither of us were worried about the public finding out, I was out, had been since I was 14. Leah wasn’t officially but she’d also never dated a man and in the eyes of the female soccer world that pretty much means you're gay. It would come out when it did and we were prepared for that to happen.
We walked out to Steph’s car, piling all of our bags in the boot before Sam and Steph slid into the passenger and drivers seats whilst Leah and I both took seats in the backseat. Somewhere along in the drive her hand made its way to my own, resting gently on top of my knee cap. I interlocked our fingers and smiled up at her, this was the part of a secret relationship that I liked, getting moments just between the two of you that only the two of you understood. The sweet nothings. I felt my heart plummet a little bit as we arrived out the front of Leah’s hotel and I realised that I was going to have to say goodbye, potentially for a few more weeks. That was the suckish part of being a professional athlete messing around with another professional athlete, there wasn’t always a timeline on when you’d see each other next, sometimes it was just situational.
I made the call to walk Leah to the door of the hotel, when we got to the doors I gave her a hug, a big, long hug. She hugged me back, tightly. Leah was good at hugs. When we finally had to come apart I looked up at her, with my big green eyes and apparently she couldn’t resist because she reached down and honoured me with a peck. It was nothing more, a small gesture but to me it was everything.
“I love you okay, be safe, text me, call me. I am always here for you, don’t keep me in the dark on things that you think are going to burden me, they aren’t, call your therapist, please.”
I nodded at Leah, she was using her captain's voice with me that she knew I couldn’t refuse.
“When you get back to the hotel I expect you to eat some proper food, not of those bloody granola bars that you insist are nutritional, proper food. Hydrate, at least a litre of water. Sleep, you deserve to sleep, let yourself sleep. Call me in the morning and tell me how you are feeling, okay?”
I gulped and nodded at Leah, an action that I was becoming aware I might have done too much of tonight.
“Love you too, thank you for being here for me.”
“Anytime, I’m only ever one call away, now go home.”
I gave Leah one final look before walking back to the car, closing the door behind me only to be bombarded with googly eyes from the two co captains sitting in the front of the car.
“You and Williamson?”
Sam’s voice was the first one to break the sound barrier, it scared me a little bit.
“Yeah.”
I made it sound like it was a non fact, like every person on the planet knew that I was in the bed sheets of the Lionesses Captain.
“Fuck, I knew it, McCabe owes me fifty quid.”
Steph’s voice was steadier and surprised me a little bit.
“We all had bets, how long have you guys been together?”
“We’ve been dating for 6 or 8 months, fucking around with each other since I joined Arsenal so about a year or so.”
Steph’s eyebrows rose to the top of her forrid, obviously very surprised by my answer.
“You're trying to tell me that you and Lee have just casually been hiding a relationship behind closed doors for months.”
“I mean we’re roommates, it wasn’t that hard to hide, plus we just aren’t rabbits who need to fuck on every surface unlike Sam and fucking Kristie, I’m never going to be able to mentally burn the image of you two getting at it on the pool table after the olympics, that was fucking traumatic.”
Sam’s face had flushed, we constantly brought it up with her. After our bronze loss to the US in the olympics a lot of the team had gone out in celebration with the Americans, what I hadn’t expected to find that night when I’d walked into the room that I thought was the bathroom was Sam eating her secret girlfriend out on the table. It had messed with my brain permanently.
“Hey you're the one who’s always bringing it up, maybe you were secretly into it, secret fantasy between you and Williamson.”
I loudly gagged from my spot in the backseat, extremely displeased by Sam’s imaginative imagery.
“Nobody thinks that Sam, it’s just you and all of your lost brain cells.”
There was something so comfortable about the dynamic between Sam and Steph, something so sisterly and bonded. They were like family, they messed around with each other and pushed each other but they loved each other and the both of them knew that at the end of the day. They might not have been the closest on the team, they weren’t each other's best friends but they were family and that was all that mattered.
“Whatever you say Stephy.”
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balioc · 9 months
Text
Thoughts on the Barbie Movie
Hoo boy. Here we go.
This is long. Spoilers abound.
I
The movie is not, in any normal sense, a Barbie movie (like this or this or this or whatever). It is not a story of Barbie doing the kinds of things that Barbie does in stories. It is an endlessly postmodern and self-referential movie about Barbie, which is to say, about the Barbie franchise and its role in culture. Which is, at least plausibly, an interesting thing for a movie to be.
You probably knew all that already. But it does give us a baseline of "this movie kind of had to be political and discourse-y, one way or another." Or even, to be more specific: "to some large extent this movie had to be about feminism, explicitly, if it was going to exist at all." How could you talk meaningfully about Barbie's role in culture without touching on that stuff?
II
The evaluative TLDR:
Barbie is very ambitious, and in many places very fun. It is also deeply confused, and fragmented, about what it's trying to say and do. Often it raises genuinely interested problems/scenarios and then totally fails to address them, or else addresses them in ways that are incoherent. The text knows that it's doing this, and on several occasions kind of apologizes for it; a couple of times it more or less looks into the camera and says "sorry, we're not going to deal with this properly;" but, well, that's not a substitute for dealing with things properly.
There is also a streak of genuine political nastiness running through the film, in a place where the story really cannot afford it. It...doesn't match up, tonally or thematically, with some of the surrounding material. I have no background at all in cinematic stratigraphy, but I would be fascinated to learn about Barbie's editorial history, because I have the vague sense that a more-cogent (and more-interesting) story got hacked apart and then Frankensteined together into something much cheaper and worse.
III
The opening sequence of the movie is wild. You've seen most of it -- or you can, if you haven't, and you want to -- because it is the film's first teaser trailer. Girls are playing listlessly with baby dolls; a giant Barbie appears like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey; and then the girls enter a frenzy of destruction, bashing their baby dolls' heads against the ground.
I don't know whether I would have found it as disturbing as I did, if I didn't actually have a baby of my own. But speaking from the standpoint of a parent...yeah, wow, it's more viscerally horrific than most actual horror I've seen recently. The narration says some stuff about Barbie providing a new and more rewarding set of imagination games to play, but the visuals by themselves tell a message loud and clear, which is: Barbie will turn your daughters into infanticidal maenads. It wouldn't need any editing at all to be part of a shock-you-silly Reefer-Madness-y moral panic film.
Which is really good! And really interesting! It starts us off on an undeniable thematic note: there is something primal and powerful and very dangerous about Barbie.
IV
The very best part of the movie is probably the part that comes right after the opening, when we explore the movie's depiction of "Barbieland" by going through Barbie's Typical Day, before we get into any of the notional plot or metaphysics. It's joyful and charming in a consistent way. The gags are (mostly) great. The movie is in love with its base premise, and that love is palpable.
This sequence makes one thing very clear:
Barbie treats Ken like absolute dogshit. She is a bad girlfriend.
And it's taken seriously. I mean, it's played for laughs, almost everything in this movie is played for laughs, but...it's not mean-spirited, not here. It's not, like, "ha ha, Ken, what a contemptible loser." He's Pierrot, asking for very basic forms of affection and attention and respect, and getting the door slammed in his face over and over. It's honestly kind of heartbreaking.
That colors everything that comes later.
The movie doesn't forget this, or fail to acknowledge it. At the end, after everything, Barbie does apologize to Ken for her treatment of him. It's a halfhearted and supremely unsatisfying kind of apology, especially in context, but...it's there, in so many words! I'm not making it up! This thematic foundation was laid down, not-very-subtly, right at the beginning!
V
This movie, which is at least trying to be ambitious, is juggling a million themes. Many of them are dumb at their core, and have no real promise; many of them lack any kind of narrative synergy with the others. But there are at least two which, I believe, (a) are genuinely worthwhile individually and (b) work well together in a story.
One is: What does it mean to be a symbol rather than a person? To exist, not for your own sake, but for the sake of influencing the dreams and culture of entities that you don't know and can't really understand?
The other is: What is the proper ordering of the relationship between Barbie and Ken?
I've seen a number of Takes in which people say, essentially: Couldn't this have ended with the Barbies and the Kens just being decent to each other and treating each other like humans? Couldn't there have been equality and mutual respect, instead of the weird uncomfortable girlboss-supremacist stuff that we got? And I sympathize with that impulse tremendously, but the honest answer has to be: No. We cannot have simple equality and esteem between Barbie and Ken, not in a movie like this. That would be a lie. Because this is a movie about Barbie-as-symbol, and when you're looking at Barbie through that lens, it is true and unavoidable that Ken is an appendage and an afterthought. You can have toys for boys; you can have dolls for boys (even if you call them "action figures" or whatever); for that matter, you can have dolls of boys for girls, so that girls can tell stories centering on male characters; but that's not what Ken is, and never has been. There are no Ken stories, and no one particularly wants them. Ken exists to be Barbie's boyfriend.
(One of the most painful moments of the movie comes during the resolution wrapup. Ken wails to Barbie that he has no identity outside her. She says, basically, "you have to find one, because I'm leaving you." And he...acts like he's had an epiphany, and does a little silly celebration. But his "insight" is just literally "I'm Ken," there's absolutely nothing there, and of course it's the most hollow and awful thing in the world because he really does have no identity outside her.)
VI
The movie's metaphysics are not even slightly consistent. The nature of Barbieland, and the ways that it affects and is affected by the real world, are completely different in every scene. In large part because the film can't ever pass up a gag, whether or not it's funny, no matter how much damage it does to the narrative and the theming overall.
The worst part is that the movie is not capable of saying anything remotely coherent about the real world, because its version of the "real world" is as weird and fake as its Barbieland. Will Ferrell's CEO of Mattel character is more of an absurd cartoon than any of the Barbies or Kens. Mattel HQ is some kind of surreal labyrinth tower out of The Matrix. A random receptionist can handle herself like James Bond in a car chase, for reasons that are [handwaved in a gag].
VII
So. Yes. There is the sequence in the third act where Ken takes over Barbieland with the power of patriarchy. This is pretty much as bad as it can be. And I say this as someone who thinks that the movie probably did actually need a plot thread doing roughly that kind of thing.
Almost as bad as it can be. The wannabe-patriarch Kens are gleefully goofy in a way that you can't help but love, or at least, I couldn't help but love it. Which has something to do with the writing and something to do with the charisma of all the Ken actors. The main Ken, Ryan Gosling's Ken, really seems to believe that being a successful patriarch has a lot to do with riding majestic horses and wearing a giant fur coat without a shirt, and when he takes over Barbie's Dream House he names it Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House -- that kind of thing.
But. Apart from that, it's real unfortunate. The justification for Ken's ability to conquer Barbieland with patriarchy, instantly and effortlessly, is -- in almost so many words -- they had no defenses against it, it was like the American Indians encountering smallpox. I...don't think I need to spell out the problems with that.
Worse yet, the whole sequence is soaked in, uh, let's call it "2014-era upper-middle-class social-status-oriented feminism." The real bad behavior on the part of the Kens, the stuff they do when they're not being adorably weird, is: mansplaining their extensive opinions about cars and movies, and wanting to show off how helpful and knowledgeable they are to "damsels" who are having trouble using machines or computers. Apparently that's the real problem at hand, the causus belli of the gender wars. The way that you deprogram a patriarchy-brainwashed Barbie is by...ranting to her about the stereotypical social irritations of upper-middle-class women (e.g. "you have to keep yourself thin but not act like you care about being thin," "you have to be a confident leader but also be nurturing and supportive," etc.) [note that the Barbies of Barbieland have never encountered these irritations, at least not at the hands of men]. And the girlboss victory montage consists of having the Barbies put on deceptive manipulative bimbo acts to stroke the Kens' egos, which sure is one way to depict girlboss feminist victory.
But the most unforgivable thing of all is the depiction of the patriarchy-brainwashed Barbies. They're lad-magazine caricatures, endlessly offering their Kens "brewski beers," dressing up as French maids, gazing on in cow-eyed adoration as their Kens mansplain stuff to them.
Barbie does, in fact, have a problematic history with the patriarchy. And it does not look like that.
VIII
@brazenautomaton:
Barbie isn’t someone who had to fight through the patriarchy to be seen as good enough to be an astronaut even though she’s a woman. Barbie’s a fucking astronaut because she’s fucking Barbie of course she’s good enough to be an astronaut.
That is...one aspect of the deep Barbie lore. It is the Barbie-nature that Mattel was trying to push, as far back as my own childhood; it's certainly the Barbie-nature that Mattel is trying to push in this movie. But there is another side to Barbie, even older and even more fundamental than Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie, and you can't make a postmodern movie-about-Barbie without addressing it.
This is Barbie the fashion doll. The Barbie who is an icon of ultra-consumerist teenage girlhood, whose life is defined by her fancy clothes and her fancy car. The Barbie whose most salient traits are her hourglass figure and her long blonde hair and her feet that are always posed to fit into high heels. The Barbie of "math class is tough!" The Barbie who is kinda vapid and shallow and, yes, boy-crazy.
How can you tell a story about Barbie wrestling with the culture of patriarchy, and not talk about that? How can you depict Barbie falling victim to the patriarchy and have it look nothing like that?
...the movie does bring up the specter of Vapid Consumerist Barbie, briefly. When Margot Robbie's Barbie first comes to the real world and meets with the sullen teenage daughter character, she has a litany of That Thing thrown in her face, and it makes her sad. But nothing is ever done with it, and it goes nowhere.
IX
And it could all have fit together so well. That's the hell of it.
You can imagine the version of the story in which Ken conquers Barbieland with patriarchy, because the Barbies are actually vulnerable to patriarchal narratives, because Vapid Consumerist Barbie is the chthonic serpent that gnaws at the foundations of Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie civilization. He successfully makes them all forget that they're senators and astronauts and veterinarians, and turns them into airheaded teenage fashionistas who think that math class is tough.
And this avails him, and the other Kens, nothing. Even within the "patriarchal" version of Barbieland, Ken is still an afterthought and an appendage. He still gets treated like dogshit, just in a different idiom.
Because the thing that has always been true of Barbie, though every age and every phase of her mythos, is: she is the main character of her own story.
This is what the movie was telling us all the way back in the horrific 2001-pastiche prologue, right? Even when Barbie was just a swimsuit model, the point was that she let girls tell stories about themselves (or idealized/aspirational versions of themselves), not about boys or babies. That is a truer, and more powerful, feminist message about the meaning of Barbie than any message the movie actually bothers conveying.
The gag scene practically writes itself: the brainwashed Barbies are sitting around in a giggly slumber-party huddle talking about how dreamy Ken is, and actual Ken cannot get a word in edgewise, he can't even get them to notice he's there, because even Vapid Consumerist Barbie is fundamentally centered in her own life. Her narrative is not about a boy, it's about the experience of being a girl (mostly engaging with other girls) who likes thinking and talking about boys. Which is very much beside the point, if you started out with the complaint that your girlfriend never paid any attention to you.
Patriarchy hurts men too, indeed.
X
The movie ends, as I've intimated, in a disappointing squidge of thematic confusion. Barbie announces that she never really loved Ken, and leaves him, because...well, because these days the smart-set target audience is allergic to romantic narratives that Produce the Couple, as far as I can tell. Then she goes to the real world and becomes a real girl, a move that means nothing and is nonsensical even by the standards of the Barbie metaphysics, because the storytellers don't know how to end her arc and Becoming a Real Girl is the sort of thing that feels like a meaningful conclusion.
The Kens...sigh...the Kens ask for equal rights in Barbieland, more or less, and get told, "nah, but we'll throw you some bones." And they're happy with this, more or less, because they're dumb and don't really care. The narrator says, approximately, "maybe someday they'll make as much progress as women have in the real world." Haw haw.
It's probably too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something substantive about responsibility and kindness in relationships. It's almost certainly too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something about the nature of love symbols and love narratives. But all the pieces really were there, laid out very conspicuously. The movie could have wrapped up with: Ken doesn't need to be more important than Barbie, he doesn't even need to be as important as Barbie, he just needs to be treated with human decency. And if little girls are going to play with Barbies, and fantasize about having cute guys hanging all over them -- maybe they should have functional models of romance and human connection in which to root their fantasies, and not terrible ones.
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s0ckh3adstudios · 4 months
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howdy!! for the undertale gold au, i was wondering if we could see more of dalv? (or starlo, dalv and rover!! like the family portrait)
if not thats ok :) i just wanna see more of how these sillies work in the au
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TA-DA!! Finally, after days... UTG Dalv! I Am So Sorry.
Disclaimer Corn Yaoi IS canon in this AU and for those who don't like it. I am sorry HEHEKGHLF It's too late for me to go back and I thought it'd be funny to include it. Too embedded in the lore now
You find out Dalv's backstory not through recorded tapes, but through his diary! You know, how he has one in the Ruins? In turn, Chujin still records tapes.
I actually wrote Dalv's diary entries and will be leaving them under the cut so you can all get your dose of exposition, but I'll give a summary of it below the Diary Entries if you want a TLDR!
Also, I apologize if the writing isn't very good- I tried my best to keep Dalv's character and write out what happened, but I'd probably edit a couple details if I wasn't lazy LMAO
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SUMMARY:
Dalv and Starlo own a large farming area together where they grow crops for monsters to buy. They were given an opportunity to expand the farm, and their business by association, to the Snowdin area. Starlo was unable to meet with the people in Snowdin about it, so Dalv had to go. He was a bit nervous to do so, Chujin offered to join him! As long as he got to test out his latest project; Axis, a funny little robot. Rover, Dalv and Starlo's kid, also joined them! They wanted to visit Snowdin and play with Chujin's robot. Dalv and Chujin left Axis to watch and play with Rover while they had their meeting. But this is when danger struck. During the meeting, a human came through Snowdin and attacked Rover, even taking their hat. Despite Axis already chasing after the human and Chujin giving Dalv warnings, Dalv ran after the human as well to find his kid's hat.
Dalv did find the human... who was very injured after seemingly having had a run-in with Axis who was oddly nowhere to be found in that moment. When Dalv encountered in the human... something shifted in him. This human hurt his child, they could have taken them away... Seeing them... He felt angry. Without thinking, for reasons he can't really explain, he attacked the human and finished them off for good. In a panic, mortified at what he suddenly did, he stole the soul. He didn't want to admit it, even if this was what monsters were meant to do to humans. The soul was declared missing and Chujin was blamed; there was concern over how much damage Axis caused and the fact that he seemingly killed the human so brutally that he also destroyed the soul which they NEEDED.
Dalv decided he was going to try and use the soul for good and try to infuse its power into his crops! He thought if monsters ate them, they'd gain enough power to last against humans AND possibly bypass the barrier. He couldn't do this alone... So he ended up coming clean to Chujin about what happened. Chujin was VERY mad but figured if he helped, he could maybe get his job back. The two worked on the project and when sprouting their first soul infused crop, a cob of corn, Dalv offered to test it.
....It made him very sick.
When Dalv fell down, he had left a message to Starlo in his diary, telling him to read it after he died. He told Starlo to return the soul and shut down the project entirely. The farms are already in danger just for supposedly having some sort of illness in the crops that Dalv seemingly ate (a lie). But Starlo...... didn't listen. He felt bad that it didn't work out for Dalv and felt bad that he felt horrible about it. He wanted to do it for him. Carry on his legacy. Cling to what left he had of Dalv and what he was working on.
....But it was never meant to be.
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sovereignjojoz · 1 year
Note
hi! i really enjoyed your headcanons about the Bucci gang and reader with a scary but nice Stand. would it be okay if i request that same thing for Josuke, Okuyasu, Rohan, and Jotaro? :D
Scary but sweet stand: part 4 edition.
Pairings: Josuke x reader, Okuyasu x reader, Rohan x reader + Jotaro x reader
Notes - I’m so sorry this request took so long anon! I’ve had writers block for a while. Hope you like it🤍
Higashikata Josuke
He jumped back and covered his eyes, your stand literally looked like something out of his nightmares.
Unfiltered, he blurted out, “the heck is that thing!”
If you become saddened by his reaction, he immediately changes his tune and puts on a lopsided grin (as best he can), he doesn’t wanna make his s/o sad.
But even so for the first few times he meets your stand he’s going to keep his distance until he gets over his wariness.
But believe you me once he’s over it there’s no separating him and your stand, like when it hovers over him he’ll become a chatterbox even though the stand can’t verbally response.
“I know! But then you won’t believe what Okuyasu did next, the idiot-”
He might punch someone if they insult your stand.
And I can’t get it out of my head that crazy diamond would love to play fight with your stand all the time.
And chase your stand around too.
Definitely has tried to play fight your stand.
Honestly your stand definitely squished cd’s cheeks in a scolding manner at some point, it’s just obsessed.
Oh, and if it wasn’t obvious before if you ever get injured the first one by your side is cd, ready to heal you.
Nijimura Okuyasu
Initial reaction: run.
He doesn’t mean to! It’s just he’s never seen a stand of the sought and he didn’t know to react so his first reaction was flight.
He definitely ran straight to Josuke’s house and Josuke gave him a look like: wtf is up with you.
After he apologises and depending on how mad you are he might take you to Tonio’s as an apology.
But when he finally warms up to your stand, he really warms up to your stand.
Like almost to the level that they’re inseparable.
He’ll use the hand to erase the distance between you guys if he thinks your too far away.
And he likes to try and scare your stand too to see the reaction it will bring out.
Probably tries to prank it too like by throwing water on it only to get scared after it reacts.
Tried to hug it a ton.
Honestly just a new bestie for him.
Kishibe Rohan
When he first met your stand, he couldn’t really hide his emotions very well.
His throat constricted and he let out a strangled gasp, just taking a long look between you and it.
He really didn’t understand, you were muse like material so what was that! Why did you manifest such a stand.
He doesn’t really sugarcoat so he might be a bit blunt!
He loves you, but not your stand (at first) so when it tries to come into contact with him he’ll dodge.
After a while though he see’s it’s not that bad and best believe if his actions are making you sad he’ll stop his diva-ish act.
He’ll pat it’s head and stuff and say thank you for all the additional acts it does.
I feel like an activity he’d like to do with your stand is clean for some reason, he likes that it’s silent and gets the job done (better than you too, he might even tell ya that!)
He loves drawing you however every one word in a while he might draw your stand too, sometimes when he thinks fondly of it, or to get character inspo since it’s so unique looking.
other times he’ll just leave a drawing around the house of it and notices how your stand jumps for joy.
Overall he does quite like your stand, but he likes you more.
Jotaro Kujo
He grimaces. Hard.
But he tries to keep a straight face and a neutral reaction as best he can, he’s seen weird stands before but yours is something he never would have even thought of.
Star platinum on the other hand mirrors his true expression.
He’s gonna act like your stand doesn’t exist for a good while as a result until your stand starts doing nice little things for him like readjusting his hat.
He’ll still act unbothered however he might give a nod of appreciation.
However one day your stand wasn’t how wrong around him like usual and immediately he noticed something was off.
He supposed he had gotten rather used to your stand assisting him he hadn’t truly approached it’s value.
Definitely see’s that your stands value in battle which makes him come to like it a lot more.
So the next time your stand was there he pat it’s back in an effort to show his appreciation.
Honestly though your stand just looks to star platinum to see his feelings and is quite pleasantly surprised to see they’re mostly positive.
Oh! And your stand most definitely plays catch with star when there’s time.
And probably also plays with it’s hair.
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shadow4-1 · 5 months
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Man Thoughts - Konig Edition (SFW & NSFW)
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Once again, I'm just doing some practice on how these men think. These are thoughts König would probably never voice outside of his head and are translated into English because we all know he thinks in his native language. (NSFW under the cut - mdni)
- They make me get up for this? I have seen torture before. Why do they need me to- oh...and who are you? And why are you tied to that chair? Where did they get you from? What? The 141? You are one of them? You hardly look big enough to hold a knife, much less be a hunter.
- Ohh, you are a fiesty little one! I can still see your footprint on O'Conor's face. I hope they will let you live. One day I would like to see you again.
- Why did they bring you into the gym? To use you as practice?! No. This is unfair. You are exhausted and unarmed. To treat you like a toy is...no. I will not stand for this.
- O'Conor can be as mad as he wants to be. I will not let him do anything else to you. You have been through enough. You should go back in your cell befor- d-did you just...talk to me? People do not talk to me! What? Why would you thank me? I-oh...you are...hugging me? Why would you-this feels...you are warm.
- You are crying. You are so strong, why do you cry now? I know I can be scary. Did I scare you? Should I apologize?
* * *
- You are so very pretty. I am sorry you have to stay in this cell. If I had my way I would keep you in my room. And then you could sleep on a real bed and be happy. And smile at me more. I like when you smile at me.
- I know I should not do such a thing but, Hutch is asleep. I could get the keys and let you out for a moment. It is not like you would go anywhere, you would be caught immediately. You could come with me. I could feed you. You could stay in my room for a time. You would like that, wouldn't you?
- You look so nervous. I know I have many knives. I would never use them on you, liebling. Strong men do not need to use violence to bed a woman. See, you are already here, in my room. I am right.
- Ohh...you look so good in my shirt. It is too big for you. I like that. You can take off the remainder of your clothes now. You are safe in here. Safe with me.
- What do I want from you? Should I be honest? If I tell you that I want to fuck until sunrise you may get angry with me. Should I tell you I want to taste you? Would that be better? I have no idea what a woman wants to hear.
- Oh! Oh, you are a bad, bad, horny little girl! I haven't seen a woman's chest in a long time. You want me to touch? I can do more than that.
- I love the little noises you make. So quiet, so sweet. I want to hear you cry, beg me, say my name. You haven't said my name yet, liebling. Do it, say it louder for me!
- I am good at this! You have orgasamed many times, and I am still hard! You tell me no more, but your body is still leaking out on my mattress. You could use more. At least one more. You are strong, you can handle it.
- My seed is...all over you. I can hardly think. You look so...like a goddess. It is on your face, and your tits, and- all inside you. I am sorry, I know you are sensitive, but I need to see it. It is leaking out, I don't like that. You need to stay full, full of me. We will go again in an hour. This time I will not leave you. You will be full of me. You will be mine...forever and ever. Mhm, yes.
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