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eightmakesonebraincell · 6 months

Text

ateez as royals who fall for you (hyung line)

read maknae line here

genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes

length: 12.8k

c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)

a/n: this has simultaneously been the pride and joy of my life and the bane of my entire existence for the last 2.5 months 🥴 and tumblr is an inept incapable CLOWN who cannot handle the full 24k worth of bullet points so here is the hyung line first - maknae line coming soon (yumi @sorryimananti-romantic can vouch for my unsuccessful 3-hour attempt at formatting them into a single post)

hongjoong

pov: you're the king's royal courtesan

“fuck,” hongjoong lets out a deep growl from within his chest as his head dips down to rest against the crook of your neck. “you’re just as tight as last time”

when your hips involuntarily buck from the pleasure, he nudges your thighs further apart and keeps your wrists pinned above your head

he can’t help but let out another groan when he feels your walls clench around his cock as you adjust to his thickness

“i thought- god,” a moan escapes you after he thrusts his hips against you, “thought you never fucked the same woman twice”

“i don’t,” he simply says

and it’s true

hongjoong is one of the youngest princes to have ruled during the kim dynasty, having risen to power after the previous king succumbed early to an unknown illness

he has the choice and selection of all the courtesans available within the palace and outside its walls

hongjoong also has a reputation of being highly sought after by everybody, not just amongst courtesans

it’s not only because he is devilishly handsome, knows how to properly fuck somebody dumb, and is the literal king

the main thing that makes him so desirable and unreachable?

he never sees the same courtesan more than once

“yet here you are,” you hook your legs around hongjoong’s waist to gain leverage and meet his thrusts with your own hips, “between my legs for the second time”

you smirk when he curses and throws his head back

his grip on your wrists tightens and his voice drops dangerously low

“the first time doesn’t count because i was meant to see lady chae. so really, this is the first time i’m requesting for your services”

he silences you from retorting by pressing a bruising kiss against you, lips messily attaching to yours before trailing down the sharp angle of your jaw to bite your neck

you are a courtesan for people of nobility and royal status

part of the ‘house of flowers’ and commonly referred to as ‘flower courtesans’, you and the other women are highly-sought after for the companionship you offer

you are well protected by the house of flowers though - the services of companionship that you provide is requested by your client, but is ultimately accepted or rejected by you

lady chae, another of the flower courtesans and one of your closest friends, is requested by the king for her services

it is quite clear what it is going to entail and you both spend several of the following nights giggling and whispering scandalously to one another

whether the rumours about his stamina will be true

whether lady chae will be the first to break his one-fuck rule

except when the day of the meeting comes around, she spikes a sudden fever

lady shin, the head of the house of flowers, takes all but one look at her before ordering her to bed rest despite both of your attempts to, albeit unconvincingly, persuade lady shin that chae’s fever would only serve to help make the king’s dick warmer

lady shin is not amused to say the least

with the last minute hitch, the king agrees for you to be sent out to him as a replacement instead

and you end up being the flower courtesan who he breaks his reputed rule for

(lady chae is initially jealous, understandably)

(but very quickly, she appears to be even more excited than you are as she combs through your undergarments for the “sluttiest set” that she can find)

your attention is brought back as hongjoong flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, continuing to drag his length in and out of you while your back arches off the bed

you tease in between short breaths, “are you really bringing up another woman’s name while you have your cock inside me?”

“you brought it up first,” he reminds you, accentuating his answer with timed thrusts

you grind your hips against his, chasing more friction against your clit as you feel your high approaching

“why?” he snakes one of his hands down between your connected torsos to rub messy circles against your clit, smirking as he asks, “are you getting jealous already?”

for that, you clench down hard on his cock, immediately feeling the way it throbs inside of you as you bring him closer to his orgasm too

“as if. fuck off”

your words are hardly audible from the whines that are leaving your mouth due to the added pressure of another finger against your clit from your retaliation

“i’m close,” hongjoong releases his grip on your wrists so that he can straighten his body, anchoring his hand on your hip instead so that he can fuck you and rub your clit with his other hand with renewed vigour

when you hear him groan, “cum for me,” the string snaps and your whole body quivers in his hold as your orgasm washes over you

hongjoong’s hips gradually stutter to a pause, an occasional thrust inside your clenching pussy as he milks out the rest of his cum inside of you

he finally eases himself out of you and hums in satisfaction as he watches his cum slowly leak out of you

hongjoong drops down beside you, toned chest covered in a sheen layer of sweat as it rises up and down with his pants

when your fuzzy mind has cleared a little from the blissful haze of your orgasm, he strokes his fingertips along the side of your thigh, along the curve of your ass, and over the dip of your waist just under your breasts as he says, “you better not be jealous. first one to get jealous loses”

“if anyone’s going to get jealous first, it’s you,” you scoff back

he raises an eyebrow

oh yeah?

he shoves his leaking cum back inside of you and fingers you to another orgasm

now that shuts you up

for a man who barks, he sure has no bite, because you find yourself being notified by lady shin several days later of yet another request for your services under the king’s name

and another request turns into another

and every single time, hongjoong makes sure that the only word leaving your lips for those many hours is his moaned name

but at the same time, the more you and hongjoong meet, the more he just savours in your simple companionship

he asks you to teach him how to embroider because you’ve mentioned before it’s how you like to spend your free evenings

he rifles through your bag of materials that you bring

you smack his hand away at the carelessness with which he’s upturning everything

“what’s this?” he holds up a large, wooden hoop before trying to fit it through his head, “a necklace?”

“i wonder if people know they appointed an idiot to be king,” you say as you gently unscrew the hoops and demonstrate how to align a piece of fabric between the rings

he watches with interest as you screw the outer hoop tighter until the fabric is nice and taut and then repeat the process so you both have one to work with

you have to help hongjoong thread his needle too, because apparently the king’s fingers are only good for scissoring you open

you weave your own needle through the fabric at a slow pace whilst telling him the different names and uses of the stitches you’re showing him

except, when you look up to see if he’s following?

his own hoop has been abandoned to one side and he’s leaning against his hand as he gazes cheekily at you

“were you even paying attention?”

he sounds a little too confident when he answers not at all

in return, hongjoong shows you how to write hanja the next time you meet

he positions himself behind you with his hand over yours as he guides you through different characters stroke by stroke

he claims that there are specific ways of applying pressure to the brush so he has to be holding your hand at all times

you most definitely roll your eyes several times but you indulge him anyway

there are a lot of giggles and teasing pushes when you accidentally dip the end of your sleeve into the ink and you try to spread it onto his robes too

(the calligraphy may or may not become forgotten when hongjoong pins you down to stop your cheeky behaviour, because things naturally escalate whenever he has you under him)

you two do eventually manage to finish one decent-looking scroll of characters which he ends up gifting you so that you ‘don’t forget’ about him when you’re not with him

when you walk back into the house of flowers, the hanging scroll perks lady shin’s interest as you walk past

“hongjoong taught me how to write my name today”

lady shin waggles her eyebrows at you suggestively because of how casually you refer to the king, for which you nudge her with a shoulder

she laughs then asks to have a look

you unravel the paper to show her but then she makes a funny noise

“that’s not your name? these are the characters for- oh,” she cackles scandalously to herself, as if she has made a secret discovery

“what does it mean?” you hurry to clarify

you wouldn’t put it past him to have taught you a crude phrase instead, like ‘best tits’ or ‘biggest ass’

lady shin lets out an amused exhale, handing the scroll back to you

“it says, my flower”

you’re looking at those exact characters from where you lay on your bed when a knock sounds on your door several days later

lady shin steps into your room with a warm smile as you greet her

“you have an appointment with lord min tomorrow, but the king has just inquired about your service availability for tomorrow,” she informs you. “would you like me to give him the usual answer?”

this isn’t the first time a clash has occurred, particularly with the increasing frequency with which hongjoong requests to see you

you have always told lady shin to ask for hongjoong’s pardon and to offer him an alternative time or day, because in the end, you still need to maintain a professional and admirable reputation as a flower courtesan

and as you open your mouth to tell her ‘yes’, your eye catches the scroll hanging on your wall

my flower

you hesitate

“actually,” you look away from the hanja, “i’ll see hongjoong.”

lady shin gives you a motherly smile as she nods in understanding and closes the door behind her

the next day you see him, he excitedly points out the large tambour frame in his room that he bought just a few days prior, claiming you two can work on a big embroidery patch together now

you give him one look then demote him back to the small embroidery hoop because he still hasn’t learnt his basic stitches yet

(that’ll teach him to not pay attention when you’re demonstrating, ha)

you relent and end up going through the different stitches with him again anyway

and you find that he’s actually not that bad with embroidery once he’s actually focused on the task at hand

it’s nice, basking in each other's presence while he threads his little square of fabric and you work with the large frame you have now essentially claimed as yours

not that hongjoong minds; he did buy it solely to make you happy

and then you offhandedly mention that someone had gifted you a handkerchief with your initials embroidered on one of the corners the other day

“i actually have it on me, in fact,” and you take it out from where it’s tucked into your waist so that you can show him

he juts out his chin as he peers down at the delicate letters, huffing, “it’s pretty, i guess”

then as an afterthought he tacks on, “bet i could do a better job”

“are you jealous right now, kim hongjoong?”

said man is hellbent on avoiding your eyes as he picks up his needle and thread again

“no i’m not!”

“whatever you say,” you smirk

after that day though, you don’t receive another request from hongjoong to meet until two weeks later

which, in the grand scheme of things, really isn’t much

but in comparison to the frequency at which you are used to seeing him, the frequency at which your body is used to having him, it is much too long

you are almost beginning to wonder whether you shouldn’t have brought up the handkerchief gift

yet, he greets you with his usual teasing squeeze of your waist, dangerously close to your ass

you make a move to follow him through the doors to his chambers but he turns around to produce a silk cloth

he starts to blindfold you, whispering sultrily, “i have a surprise for you”

you feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise at his tone

guiding you inside, hongjoong gently pushes you down so that you sink into the plush duvet of his bed

“do you trust me?” he whispers

trying not to dwell on the urge to lick your dry lips, you answer, “of course”

you feel him tugging slowly on the string that holds the front of your corset together, loosening your dress with tenderness like you are a fragile gift

you shiver when your shoulders are suddenly exposed to the cold air

and then the sensation is followed by the warmth of hongjoong’s soft exhales along the expanse of your collarbones as he leans closer to fully disrobe your shoulders

you have to remind yourself to keep breathing

“you can look now,” he tells you

you remove the silk cloth from around your eyes, unsure of what to expect

it takes a few blinks to readjust your vision to the room around you but then your eyes finally focus

and you gasp

there, hung on the wall with its striking viridian green, shimmering threads and intricate swirls on glorious display, is quite possibly the most stunning dress you have ever laid eyes upon

“try it on,” he encourages

but as you step closer, you realise the lacing across the front of the corset and running down the sleeves of the top dress is in fact, not lacing

it’s patchy

it’s uneven

it has empty areas

but it is no doubt embroidery

“did you…did you make this?” you reach out a hand to lightly caress one of the embroidered flowers, not quite daring to believe that hongjoong would go to these lengths for you

“of course,” he wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a light kiss against your temple, “i’m not losing to a lousy handkerchief”

“is that why you disappeared for two weeks?”

you let out a laugh, sinking into his embrace, because the image of the great king holed up in his chambers for days on end, hunched over your dress with a needle, thread and frown on his face is just too endearing

he lets out a warning huff as he turns you around in his embrace to face him

upturning his hands, he shows you the tips of his fingers and grumbles, “i poked myself so many times for you and you laugh at me?”

you bring his hands closer to your face, pressing light kisses to his fingertips as you smile, “thank you, joong. i love it so much, i really do”

he looks at you impossibly soft

under his tender gaze, something suddenly rushes to your very core

you hold one his hands steady in front of your lips then swirl your tongue out in an experimental lick over his fingers

it’s almost captivating how quickly his pupils dilate and zero in on your tongue

so you dare to bring his fingers into your mouth

you suck on them a little harder

a little deeper

and then you moan around his fingers, “i want you”

he lets out a groan himself, feeling the front of his breeches tighten as his cock twitches

“i- fuck, i didn’t give the dress to you in hopes that it would lead to this,” yet despite his words he is stepping you backwards so that he can pin you against the wall

“i know, but i want you,” you palm his growing bulge, your knees going weak at how hard he already is. “and i need you. now.”

he doesn’t need further encouragement

he shoves the remainder of your clothes aside before inserting his fingers roughly between your folds

it doesn’t take long for him to bring you to your first orgasm, curling his fingers relentlessly as you ride them

he spreads your cum over your pussy and you buck your hips with a whine when he circles over your clit briefly

then he’s turning you around and bending you over, one of your hands bracing against the wall, your other arm held behind your back by hongjoong’s firm grasp

“fuck, you’re so wet,” his whole body shivers with pleasure as his cock slips right into you

the obscene sounds of his hips slapping against your ass and your slick being pushed back into your hole over and over again fill the room

and to the clenching of your pussy from another orgasm, hongjoong also cums into you with a guttural groan of your name

he gently carries you to his bed and lays you on top of the covers

he leaves your side for a moment and you listen to him rummage through something while you try to regain control of your quaking legs

when he comes back, you feel him gently spreading your legs and then the ticklish sensation of a soft cloth along your inner thighs

a whine escapes your lips when he rubs over your sensitive clit and hongjoong grips your thigh a little tighter

“be careful what pretty sounds you’re making if you can’t handle another round”

it isn’t until he finishes cleaning you up and lies down next to you to start wiping himself down that you look over and realise what it is that he’s been using this whole time

your mouth drops in disbelief

when hongjoong notices your expression, he smirks, “the man who gave you this has no idea his handkerchief is being used to clean my cum off your thighs”

“hongjoong!” you flush with a laugh. “you are definitely jealous, aren’t you?”

“yes, i’m fucking jealous,” he growls, “you’re the only one i want. you’re the only woman i’ve been requesting for since i’ve seen you. and i want to be the only one who gets to have you, too”

you confess, “well, you can have all of me. because i’ve started refusing other people just for you”

he looks at you for another moment before he’s suddenly straddling your hips

“change of plans,” he says breathily, “i need you again”

“very good plan,” you grind up against him

and then you pause, mirth starting to bubble in your throat, “one last thing though”

hongjoong looks down with amusement in his own eyes, wondering what could possibly be so funny

“that handkerchief?” you start, struggling not to laugh when his eyes immediately narrow, “i never said it was from a man. it was a gift from lady chae”

seonghwa

pov: you're his royal guard

as soon as you notice the movement out of the corner of your eye, your body reacts straight away

you murmur seonghwa’s name with a tight voice and move to position yourself in front of him, unwilling to risk the prince’s safety

one of your hands grasps the hilt of your sword, ready to unsheathe it at the first sign of danger, as your calculative gaze darts between the two young men stumbling closer on the dirt path and the line of forest trees from which they appear

they are wearing simple tunics and breeches with their colour faded and seams loosening from wear

from what you can discern, they are simply commoners, but that does not rule out the possibility that they are bandits

seonghwa seems to think otherwise, though

unsurprising but still grating

the prince places his hand on your shoulder gently in a silent reassurance and request for you to step aside

albeit reluctantly, you force yourself to move to his left

it becomes clear to you as the two figures stop just shy of a few feet away that the term ‘men’ was pushing it - their faces are young and they appear to be no older than seventeen or eighteen

the young strangers dip their head in greeting, one of them apologising as well as he pulls out a tattered map that he extends out for you two to see

“my companion and i are traveling to the village norshaw but seem to have lost our way. would you be able to point us in the right direction?” the one with the map asks

“of course,” seonghwa offers with a kind smile

you watch as the three of them step closer together to look more closely at the map

on high alert, and just as you are predicting, you see the companion shuffle closer to seonghwa, hand inching towards the leather pouch that hangs from the prince’s belt

you catch the subtle motion of seonghwa’s eyes flickering down just an inch

because of how well you understand his body language, you know that it means he has already noticed the thieving intention

but because of how well you understand seonghwa, you know that he isn’t going to do anything about it either

so you strike in his stead

your hand darts out to snatch the thieve’s wrist, twisting his forearm upwards so that he is forced to lean awkwardly towards one side to prevent his elbow from snapping

his partner drops the map, letting out a string of curses and hesitating for all but three seconds before he turns around to flee

scoffing, you threaten the one who is still in your hold, who then bolts with his tail between his legs after you release him

"did you really need to scare them off like that? it's not like i had any money in the pouch anyway," seonghwa chastises with a chuckle

"yes," you deadpan. "i did not spend the last two hours of our trip pausing every fifty meters to wait for you to pick up a rock because you thought it looked pretty, only for them to be stolen by a pair of petty thieves"

"it would have been funny to imagine their faces after realising what they stole," seonghwa grins

“mhm,” you hum, “and the next thing you know, you’ll wake up to your palace ransacked, because word in town is that you can steal from the prince and get away with it”

he levels you with a boyish scowl, “you’re so dramatic. what are you, my mother?”

“no, but i am your royal bodyguard”

“exactly. you are my bodyguard, not my brainguard. if i am to be swindled of my pretty rocks, then so be it”

you roll your eyes out of exasperation, but everything is swiftly forgotten minutes later when you point out a heart-shaped rock and seonghwa rushes over to pick it up

it has been like this ever since the incident occurred - him, the sunshine; you, the sunshine protector

it has been almost four years since it happened

somebody had attempted arsenic poisoning of not only seonghwa, but also those working under him

you had noticed strange discolouring of the silverware in the kitchen and on the table serving his dinner, which prompted an investigation and subsequent discovery of the perpetrator

an act of betrayal and treachery by one of his closest relatives - his very own uncle

seonghwa was - still is - too merciful and tender-hearted to punish his uncle, even if the severity of his uncle’s crimes warranted execution

to have his trust broken so shatteringly hurt seonghwa more than if he were to actually have been poisoned

you still remember like it was yesterday; the sight of the prince slumped against the wall, weighed down by chains of turmoil and despair as whispers fly through the palace of the weak-hearted prince who is unable to deliver fair judgement

it is the sight of the prince looking so small and lost that drives your feet forward to stand before him

as the soft draught coming through the windows tugs gently on your tresses and the flickers of candlelight illuminate the glint of steel in your hand, you make a decision

“i’ll be your sword,” you pledge

not just as his royal guard, but as his haven when he is forced to face corruption and wickedness

and when you see the way his shoulders immediately sag with relief at your declaration, the way he nods like a child who has been reassured that everything will be okay, you tell yourself that seonghwa will never have to dirty his hands as long as you are with him

you will be the dark to his light; the yin to his yang

quietly, you see to it that his uncle is executed for his crimes - your statement to the rest of the palace that prince seonghwa is not to be mocked

neither of you bring it up again, but seonghwa knows

he pulls you into a wholehearted hug, arms enveloping you securely as his chest shakes with shuddering breaths of thank you over and over again

you rub your hand up and down his sturdy back soothingly

it is an action that simultaneously reciprocates his embrace and his crossed line of professionalism

one that starts the shift in dynamic between you both, boundaries of sought comfort blurring with friendship and then something more

where seonghwa is too trusting and too soft-spoken, you become his skepticism and his voice

“you should be more wary of others,” you always remind him

“and you should be more trusty of others,” he’ll retort

yet, he will never make a decision that does not receive your input nor one that you do not agree with

where seonghwa is too gentle and too humble, you become his sword and his shield

you do not waver when you strike down foe, and friends turned foe alike

you speak up and establish firm boundaries when others take advantage of the respect he shows everybody regardless of their class or status

and yet, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s condescension or discriminatory treatment, be it due to your rank as a guard or identity as a woman, seonghwa will be advancing forward to defend you before you can do so yourself

where seonghwa is too innocent and too bushy-tailed, you become his eyes and his caution

your morning walks together always last for longer than they are scheduled for

he stops to watch every butterfly and bumblebee that flutters along the flowery path, and he waits for caterpillars to crawl onto a leaf that he holds by the stem so that he can move the critters off the pathway

you love to watch him and his glittering eyes, his cheeks rosy from happiness and from the air still crisp with morning dew

but you also make sure to watch his surroundings with greater vigilance because the quiet peace that the freshly awoken sun brings simultaneously increases the likelihood of a targeted attack against him

as much as you rib him for being a marshmallow personified, however, and as much as he banters back that you are more than welcome to resign at any time, neither of you want it any other way

seonghwa carries out a lot of gestures that he justifies to himself as being eternally grateful for you and the things you do for him

he likes to gift you flowers he has plucked from his garden or the bushes he walks past that remind him of you

(“that’s actually just a very pretty-looking weed, but thank you, seonghwa,” you tell him on more than one occasion)

(it’s adorable, because the next time he finds a flower, he goes to the length of certifying that it is indeed a flower with the merchant who sells bouquets in the nearby town before presenting it to you, eyes gleaming with pride)

you stand still and let him tuck a flower behind your ear, sometimes braiding your hair gently so that he can weave and secure the stem into your hair, holding your breath as his features fill with the same enrapturement that he would admire a beautiful artwork with

after you voice this out one day, seonghwa supposes to himself that there is not much difference between an artwork and you

not that he’s attracted to you or anything - you just…have an objectively attractive face

yes.

especially when your usually-piercing expression is softened by fatigue, guard no longer up as you sleep slumped over a desk while accompanying him during his late night of studies

he does not realise his feet have moved until he is right beside your resting form, as if the soft exhales escaping from your slightly parted lips are a siren’s song

seonghwa tenderly brushes your stray locks away from your face and behind your neck

except he forgets to account for the fact that you are trained to sleep on the brink of consciousness

the squeal that leaves his mouth when your reflexes kick in and you almost slit his throat resounds at a frequency so high you almost believe it comes from your own mouth

you have a grand time watching his beet red face stutter out an excuse as to what exactly he was doing so close to you

needless to say, that is the last time seonghwa ever tries to do anything while you are sleeping

but as much as he bumbles around, he also reveals his perceptiveness when you least expect it

like now, as you accompany the prince to one of his meetings with numerous advisors and ministers

it is relatively dull and uneventful, mostly a cordial appearance to maintain amicable and loyal relationships with his subjects

conversation is limited to pleasantries and at one point, seonghwa even points out the calligraphy paintings hung at the back of the room

everyone nods with throaty laughs as if the paintings are indeed the most exquisite and tasteful artworks they have ever laid their eyes upon

when you and seonghwa arrive back at his chambers following the conclusion of the meeting, he walks over to his bed and shakes the sleeves of his robe over the expanse of his duvet

and out drops a neatly-wrapped sweet, followed by another, then another, until there are enough to amount to two handfuls

baffled, you look at seonghwa, because these are the very same treats that had been plated on the tables during the meeting

“you smuggled candy out of the room?” you try to keep the amusement out of your voice

he peers into his sleeves to ensure there are no more stragglers, before turning to face you as he waves his hands over the small collection of goods on his bed

as if they are-

“for you!” he exclaims almost proudly. “i saw you eyeing them during the meeting so i took some for you”

okay

most definitely proudly

you feel something tickling you from within, as if he has reached through your chest to directly caress your heart with a delicate finger

“when did you even…” your voice trails off when it comes out a little fonder than you are expecting it to

“remember the paintings i pointed out?” seonghwa giggles, and you think that the hand in your chest is now cradling your heart completely. “i swiped the sweets when everyone was looking back at them”

“thank you, hwa,” you settle on saying, because you do not trust yourself to say anything else

that is more than enough for him, though

which, of course it is - this is seonghwa, with his huge heart that fills easily with the smallest of things

he eagerly hands you one of the treats and you unwrap it to place into your mouth

you’ve had these before, but this one that he has specially grabbed for you tastes remarkably sweeter

you wonder if his lips will taste the same…

but then you accidentally bite your tongue, hard enough to draw blood, and you realise just how wrong you are for letting those fleeting thoughts into your mind

because while you navigate the world in thick droplets of red and sharp glints of silver, seonghwa sees the world in soft hues of pastel and gleaming rays of yellow

how could the two palettes ever blend together harmoniously?

so instead, you grant yourself one last moment of selfishness and pull him into a hug, a gesture that toes the already shaky borders of professionalism yet can still be excused under the guise of friendship

you realise that he has always meant much more to you, but that is what this will stay as - a mere realisation

seonghwa wraps his arms around your form as he relaxes into the way your bodies naturally meld together

it’s strange how easily you slot into his life, his thoughts, his heart

he wonders whether it’s possible for feelings of appreciation to run so deeply and potently within somebody, like a drug that he cannot get enough of

and when you take a step away from him, leaving his chest feeling physically and emotionally empty, he wonders if he is perhaps…

in love with you

following that incident, it is almost as if a switch flips - both of you take several steps away from the line that has been danced around

but neither of you notice the distance because you are both consumed by your own thoughts

until one of your usual morning walks around the castle walls of his palace

seonghwa is wondering whether the bushes you walk past remind you of the flowers he used to gift you and you are debating whether to reach out to brush a petal out of his half ponytail

then, like deja vu, your eyes flicker towards the burst of movement as a figure covered in black comes darting forwards with their blade raised intended for murder

you immediately start to unsheathe your sword, feet poised and prepared to defend-

until you are harshly tugged back and the prince steps in front of you to parry the strike that the assassin tries to land

it takes your lifetime of training and experience to snap back into focus and thrust your sword into the enemy’s exposed side

when you are sure he is dead, you whirl around to descend upon seonghwa with a voice trembling from both anger and relief

“what in the world were you thinking?” you yell

“i-”

taking a step forward, you toss your sword to one side, “no, actually. you weren’t thinking at all”

“i was afraid that you would get hurt!” he takes his own step closer

“that is my duty!” the volume of your voice raises even more. “i am willing to lay down my life to ensure your safety! i have been guarding you for years now and you have never acted this way. what has changed?”

for a moment, the only sound that punctuates the silence is your harsh breathing

seonghwa swallows

“my feelings…” he whispers, a stark contrast to the peak of emotions you have been riding. “my feelings for you have changed”

your throat tightens at his words

it is your turn to whisper, a noise of confusion leaving your lips

he takes another step closer, bringing himself to stand right in front of you as he looks down earnestly into your eyes

“i’d rather be the protector, and you be the protected”

“but…why?” your heart races with anticipation

“because i’m in love with you”

right at the invisible border that has been separating you two for as long as you have been his guard, seonghwa now stands, hands wringing together as he awaits a response

“then that makes the two of us,” you confess

you step forward to take your familiar spot on the other side of the line, except this time you do not stop

you stride over the boundary completely to stand by his side

raising yourself onto your tiptoes, you pull him down slightly by the front of his doublet so that you can press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips

it stretches wider and curves upwards under the nurturing of your own smile

you can’t help but give him another kiss on the other side of his mouth to match the one you just gave him

“from now on,” seonghwa starts, “i’ll be your sword”

you wouldn’t really, and you will fight him to let you continue being his guard, but that doesn’t stop one last teasing question from escaping you

“does this mean i get to retire?”

yunho

pov: you're part of a rebel group

the crown prince is not in his fucking library

for the past three weeks, the crown prince has always been in the royal library at night

until today

under normal circumstances, his royal guards and staff would be alerted to ensure that the deviance in routine is a conscious decision and not an issue of the crown prince missing

except doing that would make your job significantly harder…

considering you have been ordered to assassinate him.

you’re part of the ‘red sun’, a revolutionary movement aiming to overthrow the current monarch

following the debilitating state of the king after falling ill and the subsequent coronation of queen jeong into power, she has since then established numerous royal decrees to keep everyone under her reign on a tight leash

a leash made of barbed wire

people are quick to become resentful and thirsty for an end to the dictatorship and bloodline

although he has made limited public appearances, the crown prince has also developed a reputation rivaling the queen’s

within the second year of the jeong dynasty, red sun has already amassed a multitude of supporters

the focus is currently on growing in numbers, preparing for an imminent revolution and picking off corrupt royals and noblists, be it through incrimination or assassination

dealing with those in positions of higher power is a task only completed by an elite selection of red sun rebels who have distinguished skills and traits that set them apart from peasants and commoners

and you are amongst the elite team

which is why you find yourself staking out on the tiled roof of the imperial palace, clothed in black with a mask and hooded cowl covering your face that blends you in with the darkness of night, on the orders of a higher-up to assassinate the crown prince

except the target is missing; the information you were given is wrong

which never happens

you can’t risk staying around for much longer, especially now that the crown prince has broken his routine

he could be anywhere and so could his royal guards

you shift your body to a crouch and place your hands on the cool tiles beneath you, ready to leave

only to spot a figure, crouched just like you are, on the opposite side of the roof

their face is a black hole of nothing within the shrouded confines of their hood, but you can feel their gaze piercing into you all the same

you run

you scramble to the edge of the roof and nimbly leap off the curved eaves to the neighbouring structure of the study room

when you glance backwards, you see the man - physique now obvious - is keeping up easily along the stepping stones of roofs

this game of cat and mouse isn’t going to work for long

if you don’t get caught by him first, you’re both going to get caught by the palace guards

so you make a split decision and alter your next trajectory lower

keeping your arms outstretched for the eaves, you grab on tightly when your fingers touch the edge of the roof and use your core to kick your legs up to stop your body from slamming into the wall from the momentum of your jump

you let go and drop to the ground like a feline, noiseless, and slink towards a line of trees

then you wait

he’s good, you note to yourself, when the only sound that alerts you to his presence is the quick scuffle of his feet as he softens his impact against the wall and the muted thud of his body landing on the ground

“state your purpose,” he demands, voice low yet firm

you ignore him to ask, “who are you?”

now up close, you can see that the man is wearing attire almost the same as you are, identity also hidden by the his bandana and hood-

wait

even the dark red stitching that subtly replaces the original seam on the right shoulder of his outer clothing is the same

the same as those on the elite team

“one of you,” he confirms your suspicions

except you don’t recognise his voice nor his build

being one of the earliest members of the rebel organisation, you are familiar with all the members who carry out missions like yours

he is not one of them; not one you can trust yet

when you don’t speak, he adds on, “we need to go. the safehouse might be in danger”

he refers to the two of you so easily, as if you and him are an unspoken team

you cannot trust this man until you know for sure he is part of red sun, so you ask him

“when is red most beautiful?”

it is a vague question with a fixed answer

one that reflects the heart of the revolutionary itself

during the sunrise of a new beginning

“during the sunrise of a new beginning,” the man says resolutely

the tension releases from your shoulders

“okay,” you opt to abandon your original mission. “let’s check on the safehouse”

the man offers you a hand to hike yourself up onto one of the outer walls of the palace before he jumps up himself with ease

you both flip over the top and land in unison

the moon illuminates the ground beneath your feet as you both sprint into the surrounding forest

the safehouse is really just a small hut situated far enough from the palace to stay inconspicuous, yet not close enough to the outer borders of the kingdom to risk discovery by the frequent border patrols

you both slow down as you approach the clearing, steadying your breaths and treading with cautious steps

and then you hear it

the shattering clang of a desperate parry

all it takes is a quick glance at the man by your side before your eyes harden with purpose and your steps are dashing in unison towards the hut

you’re both hit with the smell of a metallic tang in the air, and it’s not from your drawn swords

bursting through the door, you quickly take in the scene before you

several red sun members are scattered around the hut and slumped in varying degrees of injury

it’s easy to spot the intruder; they’re yanking their sword out of a body’s torso as they simultaneously turn to look at you

and it’s hard to miss the royal insignia of the jeong monarch on their chest plate

you have the element of surprise

but only for the next few seconds

you leap forward with the thud of footsteps of your partner following almost immediately, side-stepping once you close the distance to dodge a haphazard swing

there’s a brief break in defense when the enemy tries to aim for another strike that leaves the gap in the side of their armour exposed

you feel the slight resistance of your sword entering flesh as you thrust it forward into them

except when you try to tug it back out, a hand grasps your own and the hilt of your sword, stopping you from stepping away

the enemy has realised they are not going to make it out of this alive

but if they are to die, then they are going to take one last person with them

you.

you see glint of metal as they use their other hand to swing their sword down onto you, only for it to be deflected at the last second by another sword

the man you have met for barely an hour is now at your side with his towering protectiveness

in one smooth kick, his long leg sends the other careening into the wall of the hut with a mighty slam

you feel yourself jerking forward from the enemy’s grasp still on your hand

but the man next to you quickly tucks you into his side before you are also sent sprawling

“check on the others,” he briefly says, and then he is striding towards the fallen intruder

you only spare him another quick glance and then you rush to the nearest figure on the ground

you go around checking for pulses, and for those who are still breathing, the extent of their injuries

there are several casualties but nowhere near as many if you and the man had not come to check on the safehouse

which suddenly makes you pause in your tracks

how did he know about the attack in the first place?

you stretch your legs from their squatted position next to one of the red sun members and turn around to confront him

except…the man has disappeared

and so has the intruder’s body

days later, the question of whether you will chance upon the man again tonight flits through your mind when you find yourself perched in the very same spot on the tiled roof of the palace that gives you a clear view of the royal library

you have received another order to assassinate the crown prince as soon as you see the opportunity arise

this time, the note is accompanied by a cyanide capsule, a non-verbal message that this mission is to occur with your life on the line

you spot him

he’s preoccupied by the scroll in his hand as he makes his way through the shelves of parchments

you wait until he’s walked far enough into the library before you drop down from the roof, keeping your stance low to ensure you stay hidden as you silently move closer

you take out the jagged dagger from its sheath by your waist as you anticipate it will be too difficult to wield your long sword in the narrow aisles

and there the crown prince stands

he has his back to you, exposing him to your mercy

mercy that you have no intention of showing him

the cruel heir to the throne of an even crueler dictatorship deserves none

“it’s you again, isn’t it?”

you freeze

the crown prince still has not turned around to address you, but you can feel the dark gaze of his eyes on you as if he were looking at you

“you were here a few days ago”

fuck

how he knows you have no idea

what you do know though is that you have about two seconds to make a move before you lose this chance to assassinate him completely, and quite possibly, lose your life as well

the pill you have hidden in the breast of your tunic feels heavy

“you are part of red sun, are you not?”

this time the crown prince does turn around to face you, but it isn’t the nonchalance with which he reveals your identity that makes your head reel

it is the warmth and softness in his gaze and the hint of a smile on his face that does

what the actual fuck

you’re convinced that the crown prince is not only heinous, but also batshit crazy

“i am,” you spit out at him, “with orders to assassinate you, in fact”

his mouth thins into a tight line, “the orders you have received are false”

“sounds exactly like something a crown prince would say to avoid being assassinated,” you scoff

but then his next words change everything

“red is most beautiful during the sunrise of a new beginning”

before you have time to fathom the bomb that has just been dropped, your heads swivel simultaneously towards the entrance of the royal library when a voice calls out for the crown prince

“hide,” he hisses urgently

and then he’s stepping further away to conceal your presence as best as possible

you hear the shuffle of footsteps approaching before they stop, dangerously close to where you’re crouched behind a bookshelf

“apologies for interrupting your time, crown prince,” they say

from where you are you can see the crown prince’s expression clear as he lets out a small huff, “i have told you many times to just call me yunho”

“of course, crown prince yunho”

even though you can’t see the other person’s expression, you can hear the amusement in their voice

they continue, “i have the information you have requested for”

“thank you,” you see him - yunho - receive a small scroll. “the queen does not know?”

“no, i made sure to be as discreet as possible”

yunho thanks the other once again and your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when he bows his head in appreciation as he dismisses them

is this the same crown prince as the rumours?

and what is he doing behind his mother’s back?

you don’t realise you’ve been staring dumbly at him until he’s back in front of you with amusement on his face

he stands tall and proud, robes accentuating his stature and nobility

“who exactly are you,” you dare to ask

your voice is small - you feel small, crouched at his feet like a stark physical representation of the power he holds over you

but then he takes yet another step closer and kneels down so that your eyes meet at the same level

“i am the leader of red sun. the creator of the whole revolution”

your ankles actually do give out at that and you have to seat yourself on the floor

because how is any of this possible?

you must have voiced your thoughts out loud, because before you know it, yunho is crossing his legs and making himself comfortable on the floor right in front of you

it makes you feel so strange

the crown prince’s willingness to make himself an equal before you - and even to his staff from earlier

yunho starts to explain

a change in monarch, particularly one of such dictatorship, requires massive momentum and synergy; something he cannot produce alone nor without the support of the people

thus, red sun came into existence for the exact same reason you and all the other supporters have joined

in hopes of a sunrise one day that marks a new beginning

a new leadership

except recently he has had growing suspicious of the presence of a traitor within the organisation, which were confirmed the night the safehouse was attacked

“that night…that man was you,” you realise, “and that’s how you know who i am”

he nods, “and that’s also how i know your orders are false.” yunho nudges you playfully with his knee, “pretty sure i never ordered for my own assassination”

yunho continues to explain that he had taken the intruder back for interrogation, but then you frown when he reveals the enemy had swallowed a suicide pill before any information could be gained

he has an inkling that someone in a high position of power is involved, since the pills are almost impossible to gain access to, but it cannot be ruled out as a coincidence

“hang on,” you pull down the top of your tunic in a hurry

yunho scrambles to cover his eyes and turns his head as he jokingly sputters out, “woah okay, this is moving a little fast don’t you think?”

you tug impatiently on the sleeve of his robe, telling him to look

yunho hesitates for another second before lowering his hands and realising you have-

“a suicide pill?”

you look at each other, because this can only mean one thing

the pills are not a coincidence; the enemy is much closer than yunho would like

you’re both unsure how much time there is until the traitor decides to order someone else to assassinate yunho, or worse, decides to finish the job off themselves

but from that very night of discovery, you and yunho work together incessantly against a ticking time bomb

it’s a delicate balance between finding as many leads as you can and spreading out your investigations to stay under the radar

yunho tries to look further into the cyanide pills while you try to uncover any information regarding the order you had been given

whoever is behind it all has kept their tracks hidden well

there isn’t much to report from either of your ends whenever you sneak into the palace to meet up with yunho

but he makes it very hard for you to feel discouraged when he makes your meetings seem like casual catch ups between - you dare say - friends

you have yet to catch him by surprise whenever you drop down from the roof in front of him in an attempt to scare him; he has an uncanny ability to sense your presence

except, you think you prefer being unsuccessful, because your indignant grumbles never fail to bring out his toothy grin and an excited body jiggle

other times he is the one trying to fluster you

“remember that time you literally tried undressing yourself in front of me-”

“i was taking the pill out to show you!”

you bring your thumb and index finger closer together in front of your face and squint at the gap

“i am this close to changing my mind and assassinating you after all”

he gets a kick out of it, pretending to beg for your mercy, “oh please spare me, your majesty”

other times, yunho teases you for always keeping your cowl and mask on

“bet it’s because you’re ugly or something,” he jokes

and you bite back that he had his face covered too when you both met, so you’re one to talk, ugly

“but since then i’ve always shown you my face as the crown prince. you can see me nice and clear,” he suddenly leans forward, so close you can see the dip of his cupid’s brow. “what do you think about me now?”

you swallow hard

you’re glad you have your mask on because you can feel your face rapidly heating up

“i think…” you gently cup his jaw, “you look better with your mask on,” as you nudge his face to the side

you cannot help but join in with your own chuckles at his laughter and boyish glee

and eventually, you two have a breakthrough

yunho manages to trace the cyanide back to a traveling merchant operating under the guise of selling rare herbs and medicine

in the transaction ledger, there is an unusually large purchase under the name of ‘lee minjun’

“i’m sure i’ve seen the name before somewhere, but i can’t remember where,” yunho huffs

you let out your own huff at his elbow that has very naturally taken a rest on your shoulder

pulling out a stack of paper, you spread it out onto the table before you two

they are past records of certain red sun missions that, upon looking back, seem suspicious

“i noticed a mark on a couple of them, a drawing or character perhaps? except none of them are fully intact. it’s almost like the paper was accidentally marked”

you point them out to yunho in hopes that he will have a better idea

he doesn’t - not at first

not until he chances upon two that vaguely align with each other to form a clearer image

“this-” yunho runs his hand through his hair, “this is butler lee’s stamp. my father’s butler.”

the king’s butler?

lee?

your eyes snap to yunho’s, just as his meet yours

“lee minjun”

you sink back in your seat

there’s now definite proof that the king’s butler is at the very least involved

the question of why and what for remains

in fact, you and yunho would not put it past the queen either to be involved too

there is a long moment of shared silence as you both mull over what this means for the future

yunho breaks the silence first

“after this all ends…do you want to work for me, officially?” he clears his throat, “will you stay by my side?”

after this all ends

you two must still uncover butler lee’s motives; likely part of a much grander scheme involving queen jeong too

you two must still bring down the whole monarch; with the support of red sun, yunho needs to sit on his rightful throne

the sun has yet to rise but you can see the faint hues of orange and twilight blue in the horizon

the new beginning is close

and at that, something in you relaxes

crumbles and disintegrates with utter relief

“it would be my honour to stay by your side forever, yunho”

and then you are removing your hood and mask, daring to breathe and feel alive and hopeful for once

ironically, yunho chokes on air

you glance at him to find that he is unable to meet your eyes

you think your eyes are deceiving you because-

the tips of his ears are a glowing red

you could definitely get used to seeing the usually calm and collected crown prince become a shy, blushing mess

the corner of your mouth rises with smugness, “like what you see?”

“you should really keep your hood and mask on,” he mumbles

“and why is that?” you humour him

he finally looks at you

and when he sees the shit-eating grin plastered across your face, his shoulders suddenly fill out again with confidence and cockiness to match yours

“because,” his voice deep and flirtatious, “with a pretty face like that, you’re going to distract me from my duties”

yeosang

pov: you're in an arranged marriage with him

ever since you could understand the words coming out of your parents’ mouths, you have known that you will be married to yeosang

it just made sense

for the respective princess and prince of two powerful kingdoms to join together, leading to increased power and stronger allies

it is tradition for the pair to meet their chosen spouse for the first time only when both parties have turned sixteen, and even then, subsequent meetings are rare until the time of the actual wedding

so you spend the first sixteen years of your life infatuated with the idea of your prince charming - of prince yeosang - wondering what he looks like, what his personality is like, and how you two will fall in love

and when you finally reach that long-awaited first meeting, prince charming is everything and more than what you have envisioned

if angels with broken wings were exiled to earth, they would look like yeosang

he is soft-spoken and slightly reserved, as any awkward teenager meeting their future spouse would be, but you don’t miss the way that his eyes overflow with adoration and his shoulders shake with exuberant giggles whenever his little sister, yeoreum, comes tottering into the room

he always bends down onto one knee to match her eye level, uncaring of the stains that mark his pants even as his mother narrows her eyes in disdain, and he listens with utmost sincerity when yeoreum tells him about the secret pink and glittery fairy she spotted in the courtyard

they remind you of the relationship you share with your own little brother, juwon, who is barely half your age and height, yet has you wrapped around his little finger

you lean down closer with a hum at the soft tug on your dress to hear your little brother whisper conspiratorially into your ear, “he looks stupid”

if looks could kill, yeosang would be dead right now

you stifle a laugh as you flick juwon’s chin affectionately at his sudden display of childish jealousy

if anything, you’re pretty sure you are the one who looks stupid

stupidly in love

because walking away from that first meeting with yeosang and his family, you know that you are absolutely smitten for the prince

unable to quell the restlessness of having to wait until the next unforeseeable meeting, you pick up a quill that very same day you return to your palace and start writing

it takes you all night, the gentle gleams and winks of the stars keeping you company until they rotate shifts with the songs of the waking world

but by the time you have crossed out and scrunched your way through rolls and rolls of parchment paper, you are satisfied with the letter you have written

the letter addressed to prince yeosang, which you task eunju, one of your maids, with passing it to the royal couriers for delivery to the kang palace

it is a simple letter, thanking him for the enjoyable day, yet it holds the deeper message that you are interested in him and would like to become better acquainted before your marriage

you wonder whether his cheeks will flush a pretty red as his butler hands him your letter

whether he will trace his fingers delicately over the curve of your words

whether he will bite back a smile as he pictures you saying the words to him

two weeks pass, and you approximate the letter to have just been delivered to his kingdom

and although you desperately wish for him to immediately sit down with a quill in hand to pen out his reply, you wait and give him a week before you eagerly start counting down the days until the arrival of his letter

your whole life you have been able to wait patiently

you wonder what has changed now that mere weeks feel like an eternity

the day yeosang’s letter is due to arrive, you are sporadic bursts of giggles, twirls and skips throughout the palace

even juwon is starting to become sick of getting swept up into a crushing hug to the cheery tune of i loveee youuuu every single time you pass him

nothing can bring you down from cloud nine

only…the letter never comes

not the day after, not the week after, not the month after

you’re disappointed, of course, but you busy yourself with reasons why yeosang has not replied, and you don’t give up

you send him another letter, and then another, and another

sometimes you just tell him about your day - what made you smile, what made you sad, something interesting you saw, something your little brother said

other times you tell him about yourself - your hobbies, likes and dislikes, aspirations, fears

and you also wonder about him

you ask what he likes, what he smiles at, what makes him sad, what his dreams are

with each letter that you hand over to eunju to be delivered, it becomes harder and harder to stay optimistic - not even the words of encouragement from your favourite maid lifts your spirits

you continue like this for over a year, still yet to receive a reply

until-

you do.

it feels like you are brought back to that very night of your first meeting, feeling so very alive as hope and excitement cascade into your body the moment eunju hands you a letter with a smile

with shaking hands, you fumble to unpeel the wax seal and free the envelope’s contents - a single piece of paper, neatly folded

your mind races with anticipated words and explanations

perhaps he had been too shy to reciprocate your letters earlier

or perhaps your letters had been lost in transit

you unfold the parchment as the hairs on your skin raise in anticipation, only to find it blank save for one scrawled sentence in the middle of the paper-

stop sending me letters.

and just like that, the clock strikes twelve

your carriage reverts into a pumpkin

and your carefully curated story of prince charming disintegrates into ashes

you don’t write to him again.

years later, the stacks of parchment scrolls on the wooden desk of the guest room you are currently residing in feel like a fresh slap in the face each time your eyes land on them

they are a stark reminder of your very own letters, the cold rejection you received, and the irony of the only letter you ever received again following his being one from the kang monarchs, announcing the proceeding of the royal wedding between you and their son

now, only a few days newly-wed to yeosang, the king and queen are gracious enough to let you sleep in one of the guest rooms temporarily, under your claims of adjusting to a life in a new kingdom and as a wife

really, you are trying to avoid yeosang for as long as you can

you spend your time instead getting to know his little sister better, which is why you find yourself sitting side by side with yeoreum, legs dangling off the edge of your bed

she eyes the vase of flowers on your bedside table curiously, “did you buy that?”

“no,” you reach out to touch the baby’s breath, “someone delivered it to my room”

you had offhandedly mentioned to some of your staff the other day that flowers would make your room look more homey, and you had woken up the morning after to find the beautiful vase teeming with flowers next to you

“why?” you ask yeoreum when she hums thoughtfully

“it looks just like the vase in my brother’s room, but he’s weird about it. yeo never lets anyone touch it, much less have it”

you blanch a little, “in that case i’ll give it back to him later then”

“you don’t like it? or…you don’t like my brother? my brother talks about you a lot, you know,” she reveals

caught off-guard by her perceptiveness, you reveal that you have been hurt before

you don’t specify by what exactly or who it is that you’re talking about, but she seems to understand regardless

later that night, sweet yeoreum barges into yeosang’s room and with as much feistiness as she can muster, she glares at her brother and interrogates, “what did you do to make her upset?”

before he can so much as blink, yeoreum concludes, “you boys are dumb. go talk to her and fix it or something,” and then walks out with a huff

there’s no one there to witness it, but yeosang nods anyway

heart feeling a little heavy after your conversation with yeoreum, you head towards the kitchen to seek solace in the sweet pastry you are usually served each morning

the first time you tasted the danish pastry, decorated with strawberries and cream cheese, was when you had traveled to yeosang’s palace at the age of sixteen for your first meeting

you remember the blissful expression that had bloomed across your face with your initial bite, and no dessert ever captivated your tastebuds quite the same way ever again

if there is one good thing out of this arranged marriage with yeosang, then it would be the reunion between yourself and the strawberry danish

“your highness,” the head chef bows, followed by the rest of the staff in the kitchen, “how may we help you?”

when you ask for one of the pastries, the head chef apologises that there are none

“but we can make you one now, if you do not mind waiting”

you tell him not to go to the trouble and ease his worries, “i just thought there may have been leftover pastries”

“we make only one fresh every morning, specifically for you,” the chef explains, and confusion must settle across your features because he adds on, “his highness has expressed that you may like them”

oh?

flustered, you can only muster a short response of, “i do, thank you,” before you smile once more and excuse yourself

because of all people to notice and remember such a small detail, and then to go out of their way to put in the request with the kitchen on the off chance that it was still true, it was yeosang?

first the vase, and now this

you feel something deeply buried inside of you start to stir but you rush to nip it in the bud

your head and your heart are beginning to wage war against each other and suddenly everything feels like it’s too much

when you reach your bedroom, you throw open the double doors to step out onto the balcony, welcoming the chilling breeze of the darkening sky

you’re tired of fearing rejection if you open up

you’re tired of questioning yeosang’s intentions

and on top of it all, you suddenly miss home and you miss your parents and you miss juwon and-

“are you okay?”

yeosang’s soft question startles you, having missed his knocking at your door

he walks closer to join you out on the balcony when he sees that the answer is obviously a no, and he prompts you again, “what’s wrong?”

thoughts of vases and strawberry pastries flit across your mind

you start with half truths

“just missing my little brother”

“you love him a lot, don’t you,” yeosang smiles sweetly, “i can see it in the way you take care of yeoreum”

you can’t help the heat that slowly creeps up the back of your neck and to your ears, because it implies that he’s noticed all the times you’ve showered his little sister with the same love you give to juwon

it implies he’s noticed you

“what’s your fondest memory of juwon?” he asks when you nod

something within you thaws slightly at the fact that yeosang remembers your little brother’s name

you step closer to the edge of the balcony so that you can overlook the garden outside your room a little clearer, resting your hand on the railing as yeosang waits patiently

“we used to have this game we played. we had a lot of gardenia flowers growing around our courtyard and juwon loved cutting some to make me a mini bouquet,” you pause to shake your head with a chuckle, “it drove our mother nuts”

“doesn’t sound like it stopped him from continuing though, did it?” yeosang questions with mirth

“no, it didn’t,” your heart aches with fondness. “he would use a certain number of gardenias and make me guess what phrase containing the same number of letters he had in mind”

it never failed to tug your mouth into a smile whenever juwon giggled at your attempts to guess the flower phrase, even when most times he would bound away whilst singing answers like y-o-u s-t-i-n-k or d-u-m-b d-u-m-b

yeosang supports himself on the railing with one hand as he nearly folds in on himself in laughter, and before you know it, you too are gasping for air and wiping away tears from your eyes

when you both calm down relatively enough, only intermittent chuckles leaving your lips, yeosang clears his throat and scratches his neck awkwardly

“i know it might not be much, but maybe we can go out into town tomorrow and it might take your mind off things? and we can bring yeoreum along if that makes you feel more comfortable, because you’ve probably spent more time alone with her than you have with me?”

you don’t admit it, but you’re already feeling a little better, so you decide to tease, “are you asking me out on a date right now, kang yeosang?”

“oh, well, we’d be doing things a little backwards since we’re already like, married…but, yes? maybe? is that okay?”

it’s yeosang’s turn to flush a deep red as his usually composed demeanor is reduced to stutters, but you don’t notice under the faint glow cast by the moon now reigning the sky

“yeah, that’s okay”

you and yeosang smile fondly as your little trio stroll through a nearby town the following morning, his younger sister skipping ahead to peer at the colourful trinkets being sold at the market stalls, and your own small squad of royal soldiers following behind at a respectful distance

it’s kind of endearing how yeosang points out item after item, asking whether you like it or whether you find it pretty, in a not-so-subtle attempt to learn about your preferences

you have to stop him from buying you something from every second stall you both pass, but you’re unable to convince him from purchasing a small wooden toy as a gift for juwon, insisting that you give it to your little brother the next time you see him

the more you actually interact and talk with yeosang, the harder you find it to associate him with the memory of the yeosang in your rejected letters

because the equation of the letters, the vase and the pastries just does not add up

as you two sit under the awning of a small shop, watching yeoreum play with the shopkeeper’s dog, you find yourself unable to hold back anymore

“why didn’t you reply to my letters?” you break the silence, trying to hide the hurt laced in your voice

yeosang looks at you with wide eyes as his mouth stutters open

and in the smallest voice you have ever heard him speak with, he says

“you wrote me letters?”

your eyebrows knit together as your eyes dart back and forth between his, searching for any hint of deception

“too many to count,” you confess, “until you sent a letter telling me to stop…”

“impossible. i never got your letters”

your head recoils back as you try to make sense of his words, “but-”

“wait,” he interrupts

yeosang reaches into his robes, pulling out a small, wooden block, extending it out closer to you as he asks, “do you recognise this?”

upon closer inspection, you realise it’s a square seal stamp

it has the character ‘姜’ carved into it and you’ve seen it enough times to know it represents the kang family name - but the inscription that stylises the border is unfamiliar

“not the seal, no”

he swallows apprehensively, “i stamp all my letters with this to certify authenticity”

you let his words sink in as they throw you into a sandstorm of bewilderment

“but then-”

but then who wrote the letter?

and where did all your letters go?

the only people who would have known about them would be the royal couriers and…eunju

a memory flashes through your mind - the moment she handed you a letter with a smile

no, not a smile, you realise

a smirk

you are simultaneously overwhelmed with betrayal, guilt and apologeticness

yeosang doesn’t push you for a response, and you come to recognise that you are also grateful

“i’m sorry for doubting you,” you tell him

it’s nowhere close to the amount of things you want to confess, but it is a start, one that yeosang picks up on and understands immediately

“no, i’m sorry you felt the need to doubt me,” he offers. “that i didn’t make you feel loved enough”

“but i did, actually. the vase and the pastries, then our conversation last night…and even today”

he blushes a deep red as you list the things off with your fingers

“you weren’t meant to find out about the first two,” yeosang admits as he ducks his head shyly

then he suddenly perks up with a sudden thought

he ruffles inside his satchel that had been abandoned to one side, mumbling, “my sister said i did something to upset you…so i um, got you these”

he turns around to reveal a bouquet of flowers, looking a little rough for wear after being hidden in his bag all morning, but his clumsy consideration only serves to makes your heart skip dangerously

“forgive me?” he asks cheekily, and you both giggle at the absurdity of his question because it should very well be the other way around

“if you insist,” you take the bouquet into your hands

and finally, you allow the chains around your heart to fall away, “i can’t say no to my husband, can i?”

yeosang lets out a little squeak as you look at the bouquet more clearly, counting the number of flowers

you turn to ask if he remembers the game you told him about, but the way yeosang suddenly finds the patch of dirt near his foot absolutely fascinating tells you everything that you need to know

eight flowers

eight letters

i l-o-v-e y-o-u

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scientia-rex · 2 months

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Oh my god the punishment for having a post blow up is so real. People trying to win at the discourse without doing anything in the real world—deliberately misreading the post—knowing what I’m saying and feeing attacked—it’s just relentless.

If you are mad about me saying that voting for a third party candidate in November is not going to solve the problem of a genocide that is happening right now, may I suggest that you take that time and energy that you want to spend yelling at me, a stranger, on the Internet, and do literally anything else with it? Call a rep, go to a protest, send money to reliable orgs, do whatever you want, but I don’t believe that your intention is actually to create change unless you do something to create change.

Because—and we’re gonna keep coming back to this—what is your objective? To convince me? One person whom you are certainly not going to convince by being an asshole? To convince your followers? How many of those do you have? How many of them have direct connections to sociopolitical power? How much can any of them achieve? How would they achieve that? Do they already agree with you?

Leverage in the political system in the US is a very expensive privilege bought and sold by the very rich. You as a voting individual (are you old enough to vote?) have very limited ways in which to exert any leverage at all. It feels frustratingly difficult to try to change a country’s trajectory through those limited means because it is true that you have so little individual influence. You have the best chance at influencing relatively unimportant politicians, because they have the fewest rich people buying their attention.

So call local politicians. They can continue to exert pressure up the chain. There are fewer senators than there are House reps. There are fewer national congressional reps than there are state reps. Go to lobby days with your state reps. Go to protests at your state capitol; do not make the mistake of thinking that every step must be as large as influencing the President of the United States, because there are so many layers between you and them that they will never hear what you’re saying. But they will hear what senators are saying. And the senators who sit in DC are hearing from the house reps in your own state. And you can get the attention of your local house reps; I’ve met all three of mine personally, through lobby days, which are generally open to many different groups.

Find a real thing to do and do it.

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bonefall · 2 months

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Clear Sky is a Monster.

Of all the characters in Warrior Cats, I think Clear Sky was the most heavily mishandled.

At every turn, the narrative begs you to sympathize with him, to "understand" the "misunderstood." To this end, his brother Gray Wing is used to "keep faith" in his inherent goodness, his abused son, Thunder, is forced to go back to him over and over, and his second dead wife is completely lobotomized in death to absolve him of all sin.

Because of this, of all this set-up for the "redemption" arc they're trying to tell in the last three books, DOTC is Clear Sky's story. Everything primarily exists to benefit and serve his arc. Thunder and Gray Wing might have POVs, but HE is the character who truly drives the plot. So in order to HAVE conflict for that back half, two evil foreign cats, Slash and One Eye, are summoned to act as contrast.

Their narrative purpose is to display "true evil" to make Clear Sky look less bad in comparison. Unfortunately, Clear Sky is the most malignant, deadly character who has ever blighted Warrior Cats.

The "pure evil" examples they summon aren't effective contrasts because they're flat. Clear Sky is what real abusers look like.

His rhetoric is what it sounds like when a cult leader is trying to keep control over a group. He lies when it benefits him, justifies his actions with his tragic backstory to assuage his guilt and manipulate others, and violently lashes out when his feelings are hurt before blaming his victim for making him angry.

He only made "some mistakes" in that SOME of his actions were accidents-- the vast majority of them were malicious, self-absorbed, intentional choices to punish, hurt, and kill others.

I've spoken about Bumble. I've tallied his body count next to Tigerstar. I've talked about how his infant son's death was his fault in sequel books, and called attention to the infected wound face shoving scene that no one talks about. I can't fit every detail into a single post-- because he's so rancid that I would practically be posting entire books.

So what I want to do here is tackle the heart of Clear Sky. Everything he does, everything he's motivated by, is absolute and utter control over other people. He leverages his "trauma" to evoke empathy from his targets to make them easier to manipulate. He's a dirty liar. He breaks down to physical violence when all other tactics stop working.

He's one of the most severe and realistic abusers I've ever read about outside of very adult literature-- and when I read the reasons why he's attracted to Star Flower, my stomach immediately lurched.

The Killing of Misty

Starvation Rhetoric and the Memory of Fluttering Bird

Aside; a question

Hunger as a punishment; he doesn't care about starvation

Exoneration arc

Predation: Star Flower is a replacement for his son.

I think that index is an evocative content warning. But to say it again; this post contains child and domestic abuse, physical assault, public humiliation, incestuous grooming implications, and a lot of murder.

I need to start with the death of Misty. I see a few people saying that Clear Sky killed her for "being on his land" or trespassing, but this is actually a misstatement that I feel is important to correct.

Misty and her children were on their own land. It was her house. Clear Sky killed her to take it.

This is one of the most important details to remember about Clear Sky, that this is the consistent end point of his obsessive need for power and control. By harassment, by violence, or by death, he will brutalize anyone who does not give him what he wants, or who makes him feel bad, and find some way to justify it.

This territory expansion was for no logical reason. There was plenty of food and plenty of land. Any aggression that's happening on this territory is in response to how he's been stealing land and mauling people.

When it's found out she was fighting to defend her children, Clear Sky's immediate response is to slaughter them too.

Petal doesn't have milk either. It wasn't about the logistics. He wanted to kill the kids, because looking at them made him feel bad, and she just managed to stop him.

Starvation Rhetoric and the Image of Fluttering Bird

It is often said that Clear Sky is doing this because he's "traumatized" from how his little sister, Fluttering Bird, starved to death in the mountains. That the emotion came from wanting to feed people. That's incorrect. It wasn't about food. Fluttering Bird's death, and all the "starvation" he's faced, are used as manipulation tactics to guilt, influence, and control other characters, particularly when he might meet resistance or be held accountable for something.

It was always, ALWAYS, about control.

He does not care about actually helping people; "Starvation Rhetoric" through Fluttering Bird is an image he can invoke to justify the actions that are as bloody and cruel as the one this post starts off with. Either in his own mind, or in the minds of the cats he's manipulating.

He does this to Falling Feather, before slicing her face open in anger when she doesn't buy it. He does it to Rainswept Flower, before he strangles her to death. And he does it in the chapter just before Misty's murder, both to his Clan and then to Thunder,

Clear Sky climbed up in front of an entire crowd and gave a grand speech about hunger and "adjusting" the borders around territory he plans to conquer. When he gets to "forgiveness" he feigns pain to make his point because he is performing. If the sentiment is not a total lie, then at bare minimum, he is intentionally playing this up for the crowd.

He is rallying the Clan to support his violence against the cats whose land he wants to steal, and selling it with his life's hardships.

The audience is clearly well-trained, because several cats recognize the cue, particularly Frost who is praised for loudly comforting him. This signals "loyalty" because showing your sympathy towards his "suffering" is how this type of emotional manipulation works. It creates a persecuted, righteous in-group.

He's also apparently used this tactic before, since this entire crowd knows what "I Would Never Forgive Myself " means.

He's made sycophants out of his followers. Like a cult leader.

His abused son, however, hasn't been fully indoctrinated yet. Seeing Thunder uncomfortable with the idea of expanding the borders for no reason, Clear Sky calls him over for a personal propaganda session.

Clear Sky begins the exchange by calling this a "duty" and a "great honor." Immediately framing what he plans to do as righteous.

He puts on the act when Thunder shows resistance, dramatically pausing to let the guilt trip sink in.

"Thunder waited, realizing that he said the wrong thing."

And then Clear Sky launches into infantilizing Thunder, talking down to him like a child who's too inexperienced to see the "signs of starvation," acting like he's being "patient" in "explaining" it.

And then we get it. "I know what starvation looks like (so stop trusting your own eyes) because I have been through more than you (so shut up and do what I tell you), and I'm being a HERO for what I'm about to do (so opposing me would make you a bad person)."

Thanks to these crocodile tears, looking "moved," the act works. The victim is immediately wracked by guilt because the abuser seems genuinely emotional.

He even lovebombs him over the corpse of Misty in the next chapter, making Thunder feel threatened.

Thunder doesn't have the words to describe what is happening to him, but he knows that this sudden snap to praise isn't natural. That something is very wrong.

A Question.

Before I move on to show that this IS an act, and that he is lying about how important avoiding starvation is to him, I will ask a question. Please think about it, because I promise I mean it genuinely;

Why does it matter if Clear Sky actually believes this or not?

The victims are just as dead either way, yes? Thunder is just as abused and guilt tripped. The entire Clan has been driven towards violence while coddling and cooing at their Supreme Leader. Clear Sky is slowly annexing the entire forest. If you have ever accepted that he had "good intentions" as an excuse for the harm he did, or that abuse and murder was what he imagined was "the right thing," or that his trauma justifies the way he leverages his own pain to make cats do what he wants... why do you think that?

Why does that make it morally better, as the narrative concludes? Would you accept the same for every other WC villain or antagonist? Tigerstar? Slash? Tom the Wifebeater? Brokenstar? Rainflower?

How could you tell the difference, if you couldn't read their actual thoughts on the page? ...are there any other "good intentions" you've accepted, somewhere else?

Don't share that answer with me. It's a question for you. Sit with it.

Hunger as a punishment; he doesn't care about starvation.

...but, regardless, Clear Sky is not deluded about starvation. It's a justification for his obsessive need for control, and always has been. There was no shortage before stealing Misty's land and kits, he is fully aware that there's more prey than they can eat.

He punishes Falling Feather with hunger and harassment for thought crime, by briefly thinking of leaving. But first, he invokes Fluttering Bird at her like he did before, flying into a screeching fit of rage when she doesn't buy it,

"I'm sorry I hurt you... BUT" is THE wifebeater phrase. THE stereotypical line of a domestic abuser. "I'm sorry I hit you... but it's your fault for making me so angry."

She went through the same exact starvation he did, calls out that he's just framing his greed as being for the collective benefit of his subjects, and is assaulted for that.

When we're in his head, we see his REAL concerns are not about hunger. He invoked Fluttering Bird to try and make her shut up and bow down to him; what he's focused on is her "gossiping" and "whining" about the open wound he left on her face. He's still furious at Fircone and Nettle for how Thunder QUESTIONED him. So he will "strengthen their commitment."

When "starvation" DOES enter his thoughts, it is to assuage his own guilt and JUSTIFY what he already did. What he already WANTS to do. It's post-hoc.

He had to suppress his own guilt at how his greed and ambition made these children into orphans, completely unable to admit that he's ever been wrong or has a change to make, so he invokes the starvation rhetoric at himself to excuse it. So he feels less bad.

Everything, EVERYTHING, in this confrontation is about his pleasure at being able to torment his subordinates. To continue the abuse when the initial confrontation is over. If it isn't pride in his power and control over them, it's plain sadism.

He invokes starvation in front of the crowd, again, after being pleasured at the guilt in her eyes, hoping that everyone sees her writhing with shame and embarrassment. Fear wasn't at the root of why he assaulted Falling Feather; rage was, and now he feels better that he got to humiliate the person who offended him.

Starvation Rhetoric is a manipulation tactic.

It goes RIGHT BACK to his twisted idea of "loyalty." Obedience.

A cat who's actually, primarily concerned about starvation wouldn't encourage other cats to steal her food if they feel like it. He wouldn't be using it as a weapon to retaliate against her because she hurt his feelings.

This is paired with the fact he restricts and monitors the diet of his cats. They eat when he allows it, and only what he gives them, in spite of there being piles of dead animals rotting, going to waste.

We then find he personally doles out food from these piles, plucking carcasses off them and flinging them at his cats, one by one. Probably so he can watch how grateful they are to him and make sure they stay a little hungry-- and definitely because it means he can control WHO gets to eat at all.

If Clear Sky chucked a mouse at Falling Feather and someone took it? She would have gone hungry. For not groveling to him. Like when he decides to starve her brother; a hostage who he promised to feed and care for.

He's a dishonest snake. He lied about abandoning baby Thunder, calling it a "test of strength," he lied about Bumble's death, he lied about keeping Jackdaw's Cry fed.

And he lied about starvation to Thunder, because he was just making up an excuse to steal more land.

He wasn't "seeing the signs" of starvation when he moved to "adjust" his borders. Even FURTHER into this so-called "delusional slip" into tyranny, he's freely admitting that it takes months for a person to starve when it benefits his sadistic need to punish undeserving cats.

"Dumb moor cats, always expecting more than they DESERVE."

Not need. DESERVE. It's not a delusion about starvation and it never was. STARVATION is how he CONTROLS SkyClan, and once again he's angry that his pleasure has been sullied.

The massacre at Fourtrees was started over Jackdaw's Cry catching a bat after being starved, on land that Clear Sky has decided RIGHT NOW that he also owns, because it mades him think about being disobeyed.

The bat is forgotten as Clear Sky pivots into a tantrum, wanting to make his family HURT for being 'disloyal' and 'ungrateful.' For leaving him. He LIKES seeing people grovel, cower, and beg, getting PLEASURE from watching how he can hurt and command other cats, and if you don't give him what he wants he will kill you.

Which, make no mistake, is what the "First Battle" actually is. Clear Sky attempting to murder those who don't worship him or swear their undying fealty to him and his twisted dictatorship. Particularly his own son, the most prominent victim of his emotional abuse.

It's not about the bat. It was never even about food or starvation. It's about retaliation for any perceived lack of control.

Once again he breaks out starvation rhetoric to try and manipulate someone, and when Rainswept Flower doesn't buy it just like Falling Feather didn't, he murders her in another fit of entitled rage.

Exoneration arc.

At the end of this battle that was entirely his own fault, we're introduced to the hollowed-out ghost of Storm. She has been flushed of all personality, so that she can be the perfect narrative mouthpiece.

She accepts yet another Fluttering Bird Invocation in spite of how we saw it's not sincere. He was lying the entire time and using starvation rhetoric as a manipulation tactic to get control over his victims.

And that's it.

That's the consequence. Storm's a little mad at him until he says "Buttering Flird" and she swoons.

He doesn't have to be ""afraid"" anymore because the cats just invented an afterlife to believe in. He keeps all of his power and influence and gets off scot-free, because "guilt" (which we SAW him repressing anyway) is supposed to be the best consequence for murder, abuse, and tyranny.

The husk of Storm even materializes again at the end of book 5 to say it outright; he "never drove anyone away." Not even after Book 4 where it's also his fault One Eye took over his Clan for 5 minutes. It was just destiny.

His "redemption arc" is just an exoneration arc. The narrative doesn't think he really did anything wrong.

EVERYTHING about Clear Sky has ALWAYS been about making grabs at power, but since the narrative didn't see a problem with him extorting his personal tragedy and the death of a child, his own sister, he continues doing it. As if these behaviors are normal personality 'traits'.

Even when that sister COMES OUT OF HEAVEN TO YELL AT HIM DIRECTLY,

He finds a way to COMPLETELY miss the point, so he can interpret her words in a bizarrely specific way that will conveniently end with him being the supreme dictator of the entire forest. Just like he ALWAYS does.

It's the entire 5th book. Clear Sky trying to convince everyone, including himself, that it's Fluttering Bird who wants him to grab at power, NOT himself and his own ambition, that THIS time, he promises, for realsies, it's actually about keeping everyone safe.

But just like ALWAYS, because he does not change, when this tried and true tactic manages to work on Thunder, during ANOTHER exchange where he's dramatically pausing and using the cold shoulder to make his pitiable act land harder,

He lapses right back into bullying his child, creating situations where Thunder will have difficulty or be put in pain, so that he can have an excuse to mock and belittle him.

And this all comes to a head when Clear Sky takes romantic interest in Star Flower, his abused son's previous romantic interest.

Predation: Star Flower is a replacement for his son.

Direct parallels are drawn between Thunder and Star Flower. Star Flower contrasts her loyalty to her father to Thunder's "disloyalty" to his own, in an appeal to Clear Sky.

Clear Sky brushes it off for now, citing that he cannot accept her because of who her father was.

But then, Thunder makes the connection between himself and her, because he knows what it is like to be a victim of parental abuse and correctly clocks that they have this in common,

On his vouch, Clear Sky accepts her into the group. She starts trying to offer himself to him; hunting twice as hard as the others, self-imposing harsh conditions like taking a wet sleeping spot. In their second interaction, Clear Sky begins to take interest in her.

Thunder himself points out that Star Flower is seeking an abusive tyrant to replace her own father, which reads like he's deflecting the stress of how his father is abusing him to deny a connection he already made. As if Thunder sees so much of himself in Star Flower that it makes him (rightly) feel sick that his father is romantically invested in her;

Thunder then goes on to follow his own advice and form his own Clan, because Clear Sky IS like One Eye... while Star Flower remains here. At Clear Sky's side. Because she feels like this is what she "deserves," that she "understands" him, truly believing that her crime (warning her father that Clear Sky brought an ambush in case he lost the 1 on 1 death match he requested, which he did) are on the same level as his abuse and murders.

Clear Sky is attracted to Star Flower because, in his own words;

She is young.

She will not betray him.

She won't question him,

and she obeys him.

We've seen what "betrayal" is to Clear Sky-- not taking his excuses or his beatings. To "disobey" is betrayal. To "question" is disobedience.

These are ALL things he's tried to drill into Thunder. We saw him happily exploit their difference in age to tell him he can't have an opinion. He constructed humiliating games in retaliation for ever being questioned. He tried to murder Thunder and his friends for their "betrayal." Even now, being disobeyed causes explosive reactions.

He was previously grooming the things he now identifies as attractive in a young woman into his child.

If your body becomes too useless to serve him, like Frost and Jagged Peak, you're thrown out. If you don't unquestioningly follow his bloody commands, like Falling Feather or Thunder, you're subjected to abuse and public humiliation. If you're in his way, like Misty or Rainswept Flower were, you die.

If you meet all of his expectations...

You will be in a horrific position where you will never have agency over your own life ever again. Every move, every word, will have to be carefully crafted so that he feels like you're "loyal" to him by the arbitrary standard he feels that day. Never step out of line, never doubt his decisions, never live for anyone except him and the children you will give him, not even for a moment, because then you will not be "worthy" of his grace.

Star Flower would be in serious danger if this series wasn't written by abuse apologists. They accidentally wrote a perfect reflection of how child abuse victims often find themselves in unsafe and toxic romantic relationships with large age gaps which mirror what they went through as kids; but this team doesn't clock it, playing this relationship as wholesome and genuine.

He finally has someone who ""understands"" him. Because they think the character they wrote is misunderstood.

but reality is plain to see.

Clear Sky is a monster. The most realistic monster in all of WC-- far, far closer to real life predators and domestic abusers than the "born evil" rogues like Slash and One Eye. The Erins seem to believe that what separates Clear Sky from One Eye is "fundamental" good and "fundamental" evil, when the truth is that they'd be separated by very, very little.

If they had realistic motivations, they would be exactly like the character their existence is meant to excuse.

Slash and One Eye HAD to be kept flat and one-dimensional. If the book was more earnest, the only difference between Clear Sky and One Eye would have been that One Eye is stronger. So strong that Clear Sky needed to manipulate the other groups into helping him.

While anyone can change, not everyone will, and Clear Sky has no reason to. He sees no consequences. He has everything he wants; power, a pretty and obedient young mate, and unchecked authority over a brainwashed forest cult. There is always a victim on a leash, a naive enabler, or a bunch of desperate and gullible marks somewhere in his proximity to bully into doing his dirtywork

Whether his "intentions" were sincere or not (evidence points towards not) at its root it was always about control. Power is something he perpetually keeps, and continues to violently use.

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be3per · 20 days

Text

hands on my waist 🙏

gojo satoru x gn!reader

(relationship headcannons)

includes: kissing, worshipping, compliments, nicknames, teasing, spicy scene heh heh 😁

note: im not sure if someone already posted smt like this (probably) but i was js tempted to write smt of my own 😍 hope you still like it!!! <33

enjoy! 💞

just thinking…. gojo’s hands. 🤤🤤🤤

they must be really veiny, considering the fact that he uses his hands a lot. for many reasons.

i know for a fact that if you’re his partner, that guy will be touching you. doesn’t matter where or when, his hands are on you.

i feel like he loves physical touch, constantly hugging you from behind or when you’re talking to the higher ups, pissing them off by snaking his arms around your waist and sliding his hand up your shirt to feel your warm skin against his palm.

when he buys clothes for you, he wants to feel your body, admiring your curves. i feel like if you asked him how you looked in an outfit you were unsure of, he would kiss all over your body and his hands would wander all over before telling you his answer that is true and always is,

“you look more beautiful every time i see you, angel.”

when you’re wearing his oversized shirts and only wearing your underwear underneath makes him feral. when you’re cuddling on the couch or the bed, he’ll slide his hands up your shirt or down your underwear just to feel your skin. he loves squishing and pinching your sides just to tease you while placing butterfly kisses down your neck, shoulders or jaw while muttering small ‘i love you’s.

clingy. like i mentioned, he won’t have his hands off you for a minute. when you tell him to, if you’re busy doing something, he’ll whine and beg. when you don’t give him a reaction he pouts and stands still for a moment before he can’t hold back, picking you up and hugging you to his chest, nuzzling his face into your neck.

“sorry. you looked too cute.” he would say.

when wearing lingerie, he would rip them off instantly just to have you in bed the next minute. he would be kissing and biting all over your skin, hands a bit more shaky than usual.

“yes babe, i know i bought you those.”

“come on! i’ll buy you more. just give me what i need.”

he loves when you bounce on his cock, his hands roughly gripping your hips or your waist, squeezing your skin and rubbing shapes with his thumb as he stares at you, mesmerized.

“fuck yeah, just like that pretty. uh huh, you’re— ah— doing so good.”

“mm mm, not done. just a little more, yeah? you look so fucking good on top of me.”

“you’re close..? alright.. when my cum starts leaking out of your pretty hole, don’t be alarmed if my dick starts rising again.”

“my baby needs to hold my hand? give it to me, love. you know i love blowing your back out with some leverage.”

this man loves to choke you (with consent). whether he randomly gets the urge or if he gets the idea while pounding into you, when you agree, his hand is already eagerly wrapping around your pretty throat. he loves flexing his veins, seeing how it compliments seeing your face flush after he applies light pressure on the side of your neck.

“mm.. i guess i wont need to buy you a new necklace if my hand looks just as pretty on you, yeah?” (you know fully well he still will buy you a new necklace. possibly with his name on it.)

in softer moments, he loves when you brush or style his hair. his loves feeling your fingers lightly scratch his scalp, soft groans coming out his lips.

for someone that loves to feel you, he loves it when he receives it back. — <( ^_^ )>

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jjk gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojou satoru smut #gojo smut #jjk satoru #satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen satoru #satoru gojo x reader

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ashersanity · 5 months

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Just what you fucking deserve.. filthy slut.

Might as well clean up my shitty drafts one by one, starting with this one. Wrote it while on 2 hours of sleep a few weeks ago. Expect a mumbling mess of nonsense.

Expanding on my other post depicting a jealous Whitney.

Pairings : (A possessive, jealous M!Whitney x gn!PC)

Summary : (PC has a bad time with Whitney in the alleyway..)

Content warning! : (dub-con, non-con if you squint hard enough, physical violence as in slapping, semi-public fucking, lazy writing, lots and lots of degradation, whitney being whitney as always)

“How many times?” Whitney gritted out between breaths, skin slapping against skin resounding lowly in the sketchy alleyway. The one that you usually took to get home, in plain sight of the bustling street where anyone could just walk in on your ass getting destroyed. “How many times did that bitch fuck you?” He repeated, and honestly you didn’t know exactly to who he was referring to. Robin, Kylar, Sydney..? There were too many to count and your silence filled with gasps only seemed to further piss off the delinquent, grasping at the back of your hips and using it as leverage to fuck you harder.

“I-I didn’t—“ You had barely manage to get that one out only to be interrupted by a squeak and a whine, feeling like your legs might give out at any moment if it weren’t for the other holding you up right now. He only took it as encouragement to quicken his movements, hips meeting your rear with every sharp thrust.

“Liar.” He muttered, his face close to yours, this position way too intimate for what was going on. “You fucking lying bitch.” He snarled, rough hand grasping at the back of your head, keeping your limp body in place as he fucked you raw against the wall.

“How. Many. Times? I bet it’s because you flashed your ass again, huh? Didn’t you? Fucking whore!” Smacked you clean across the face, your cheeks burning red from the slap and having your hole stuffed full with Whitney’s cock, the familiar sensation of his length moving in and out of you that you squeezed oh so eagerly around. Fuck, you were seeing stars from how fast he was going, no way were you going to manage walking past the bathroom tomorrow.

“Yeah, that’s right.” The bully hissed, his pace momentarily slowing down for a second to spread your cheeks and look at your tight little hole squeezing around his dick, pink and puffy from his daily treatments. “No one can fuck you like I do. I just need to pull out my cock and you’re lapping at my knees like a dog. Don’t even need to put it in, you just cum from sucking it, don’t you?”

A blush crept up to your face from his words, remembering the embarrassing moment where you had come undone in front of him and his friends just from sucking him off in the boy’s bathroom. He really didn’t have to mention that part, trying to deny it even if it was half-true.

“N-no, I d-don’t—“ You hitched out, body slowly easing into his rough pace and relaxing against him, arms coming up to wrap around his neck. Your compliance had his pissed off tone slowly shift into his usual one, low and husky whenever he was horny.

“Fuck, there’s my good whore, my slut.” He cursed under his breath, threading his fingers through your hair and tugging gently. “Only l get to see you like this. Fucked dumb and stupid, no one else. Not some bastard, not some whore. Me. Got it?” Whitney sighed out, burying his face in the nape of your neck and biting down. Hard. Hard enough to draw blood and elicit another whine from your mouth that you desperately hoped wasn’t heard by any passerby, lest you wanted to get arrested again.

“You’re all mine, right? Cmon. Say it. Say who you belong to. Who’s my fucking slut?”

“M-me, Whitney.” Voice shaky and slurred, answering him back without second thought.

“That’s right, that’s it. Shit..” The blond groaned against your skin, grip tightening on your hips and angling his cock to go in deeper, pressing down on the visible bulge against the skin of your stomach, clear outline of his entire length fully inside you. “Cum for me, bitch. Let me see how much you love having my dick inside you.”

That was all you needed, body reacting on its own and cumming hard, making a complete and utter mess of yourself. Watched on with a smug smile as you came right around his cock, hips bucking up and hands reaching up to grasp at the blond strands of hair on his head for support, the same ones you’d twist and pull at in math class whenever he teased you under the desk.

It took a while to come down from your high, shaking and twitching all the while, gasping for air before looking back up at Whitney’s grinning face, pressing an uncharacteristically soft kiss to your forehead.

“That’s right. I own you.” He stated plainly, lips possessively pressing against yours, murmuring once more.

“And don’t you fucking forget that, slut.”

#what the fuck did i just write #well more like wrote weeks ago #asher regretting his actions..#the jealous and possessive whitney saga continues #yandere whitney #dol #degrees of lewdity #whitney the bully #whitney dol #whitney degrees of lewdity #brief mentions of #robin the orphan #kylar the loner #sydney the faithful #sydney the fallen #asher writes #badly

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sweet-chimera · 2 months

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TW: Call out post, drama

// Damn we were going to keep it quiet and respectful until this point. because like always. Spork, aka Shiloh can't take accountability and Never does anything wrong despite the fact that this is the what? 6th group of people enmass to cut contact with them? Spork we were being quiet about it for YOUR sake. Cause you're a bad person and we wanted to be done with you. But fine. We'll do it your way. We blocked you because you're a toxic person who threatens to harm yourself when we don't comply to you. Not because of a fake wedding rp event. Content and stories under the cut. Long post trigger warning

And because he named dropped us, potentially to potentially insight violence on us. We'll return the favor. We were willing to just soft block and call it a day but then you do this? We knew you were a karen but come on spork. This is low even for you. For those of you that don't know, Spork aka:

patchiesdoodles, decipheringmadness, cxpescxwlsandcrxmes, ifyouwouldloveme, thegreeksknewthescore, fxllen-cne, thxpatriarch, unforgivendivine, AND the-blackened-dove.

Likes to block evade, exhibit controlling tendencies towards their rp partners, leverage marginalization's to groups that he doesn't belong to to white knight and get his way, tone police, sexually harass people mainly on voice call, guilt trip, bully those that speak out against him, use his partners to harass people who block him, vague posts, gives ultimatums, and threaten self harm when he doesn't get his way.

Lets get this out of the way, My experience with spork

I met spork in the muntain june 2023. And it was one of the most grating experience of my life. At every chance they got they spoke over people, talked openly about their sexual trauma when no one has consented to hearing it. And tone policed me, a cambodian/afro indigenous person from baltimore, for using language that was "Offensive to black people." Only to then lay off after yelling at me for a few minutes. When he found out I was black. (Screen shot of me talking to the mod of the muntain afterwards)

I was off put, and upset. That someone who is this complexion

is tone policing me, AN AFRO INDIGENOUS PERSON WHEN I MAKE NO ATTEMPTS TO HIDE IT. IM BLACK.

But seeing as we're a vastly neuro divergent community. I forgave and forgot because it wasn't worth the fight. it didn't stop them from constantly bringing up sexual or traumatic topics. But at the very least. They were upset at me for using AAVE and saying the N word. A SLUR I CAN USE.

But then later down the line. I talked to the muntain mod about introducing my partners to the rp community and to help the transition go smoothly.

I EVEN WENT INTO VOICE CALL AND BEGGED THEM, SPORK SPECIFICALLY. TO BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOUR.

My girlfriend joined on the 30th and my boyfriend joined on the first.

During the first call on the 30th. Spork dominated the conversation and flirted with my girlfriend infront of me upon finding out we were polyamourus. But for the most part was respectful.

On the voice call on the second. They were racist and immflamatory to my boyfriend. Tao. A native mexican man. Spork claims to be indigenous themself but I have no proof of this. But as we all know, Abrahamic religions have decimated the indigenous populations and caused Alot of harm.

On voice call. Spork brings up their LITERAL JESUS CHRIST muse. And talks about their religious trauma. Tao, also talks about his in the form of a joke. "Oh Jesus sure liked to wash feet huh?" A TRUE FACT. NOT THAT BAD. WE ALL HAVE MADE FUN OF IT.

Here comes white knight Spork, yelling at my partner to not make fun of jewish traditions. Its insensitive and blastephemous. Only to then dominate the conversation to talk about their trans jesus muse who openly talks about being abused by god

(Recap of the voice call i had with the mod)

So spork, a white passing person AT BEST, told my darker complexion NATIVE MEXICAN BOYFRIEND. That he shouldn't make jokes about judaism? When spork is a white satanist? And all abrahamic religions not just Catholicism has caused damage to our populations? You didn't even let him say more then that one joke, you didn't even give him 10 seconds to say is name before dominating the conversation again

Sweetie. 1.) Anyone can criticize and make fun of the bible, the torah, or the Quran. 2.) SAYING JESUS WASHED FEET. WHICH IS TRUE. IS NOT AS INFLAMMATORY. As making a gay trans jesus blog AS A ROLEPLAY CHARACTER. To talk about how god abused him.

And these are just my personal experiences with spork.

WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEIR FRIEND POLITELY ASKED TO STOP SHIPPING BUT STILL BE FRIENDS?

HMMM. THATS WEIRD. THATS A PRETTY POLITE WAY TO GO ABOUT HAVING A CONVERSATION. BECAUSE CONSENT TAKES TWO PARTIES. WHAT WAS YOUR RESPONSE TO ONE PARTY NOT CONSENTING SO YOU DONT GET YOUR WAY?

OH YEAH.

YOU VAGUE POST ON THE DASH, GUILT TRIP PEOPLE FOR STILL ASSOCIATED WITH VOID (gin-n-chthonic) and get upset when you saw them on your dash because you keep block evading them to see if they were talking about you. YOURE MENTAL HEALTH WAS MESSED UP BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND HAD A POLITE CONVERSATION WITH YOU? ABOUT NOT REAL CHARACTERS? AND YOUR RESPONSE WAS A PUBLIC CALL OUT POST. And then you go around to people like slurk.

Who've you've been codependently abusing for a long time. And try to guilt trip them into blocking void.

Because thats a sound response. AS WELL AS BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT IT IN CALL FOR DAYS. THIS ISN'T EVEN INCLUDING THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A HABIT OF GETTING YOUR FRIENDS AND PARTNERS TO ATTACK AND OSTRICIZE PEOPLE FOR YOU. Remember when jessica was sick with covid. But you wanted an answer so bad. That you sent your boyfriend after her? CAUSE WE DO.

And how you admitted in voice call that you would type from Boogies account to send people things, speak for him. OR ADMITTED THAT ROLEPLAYING IS A SPIRITUAL THING FOR YOU. How these characters are extension of yourself and if they feel pain or rejected you do? So every time someones muse doesn't want to interact with them. YOU A REAL HUMAN BEING FEEL THE PAIN?

cause we do.

SO LETS RECAP. TLDR;

you give ultimatums

guilt trip

block evade

were openly racist to a mexican indigenous man

hit on my girlfriend infront of me

can't read a room socially

send mobs after people

talk about traumatic shit without peoples consent

overly sexual even when we say we're uncomfortable

fly off the handle and go on public tirades when we try to talk to you, then get surprised when no one wants to talk to you and just quietly exits your life

use your loved ones accounts to talk to people who go nc with you

only white knight and virtue signal when its convenient to you

want to control everyones character and insert your muse into everything but when they don't comply you guilt trip, bitch, give ultimatums, or post publicly about not being loved

you weaponize your marginalization as a trans man but are clearly white passing and command alot of social power from your social media presence

sexually harass people around you

and you tone police the people of color around you when we speak up

WE DIDN'T BLOCK YOU OVER A FAKE RP EVENT. WITH FAKE PEOPLE THAT YOU INSIST ARE REAL. WE REFUSE TO BE AROUND YOU BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO GET HELP FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. WE BEGGED YOU TO. AND YOU GUILT TRIP PEOPLE WITH THREATS OF OSTRICHCIZATION AND SELF HARM.

YOU'RE A BAD PERSON SPORK.

#tw: drama #tw: call out post #call out post #drama #patchiesdoodles

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runnning-outof-time · 2 years

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-> Tommy Shelby Imagines Masterlist PART 1 <-

Main Masterlist

Last Updated: link limit hit - go to PART 2 for newer stories

Want to be tagged? Let me know!

All works are my own - I do not give consent to the reposting of them in any form.

——— (listed oldest -> newest) ———

— My Fair Lady: Tommy’s given leave from his post in France, and comes home to the only person he wants to see.

— Keep Her Safe: (daughter!reader) (Y/N) Shelby has been through it all. The elaborate plans, the family fall-outs, the violence. This life was all she knew. So she's confused as to why her father, even after 17 years, still wants to keep her as sheltered as possible.

— Are You Ok?: It's that time of the month for (Y/N) and along with it comes the thing she hates most: stomach cramps. Thankfully, Tommy's there to ease the pain, like he always is. It doesn't matter where they are, or even if it's in the middle of an important meeting.

— Come Back to Us: The Shelby family needed to move back to Small Heath after they were served a black hand by the Italian mafia. Already feeling on edge, (Y/N) only becomes more worried when her husband tells her that he's going to be lured into a trap and would need to fight his way out. All she wants is for him to come back to his family when it's all over.

— The Charity Dinner: (Y/N)'s entire life almost gets ripped away from her while she's attending a charity dinner for the Shelby Foundation.

— You Made Them: Having children is hard to begin with. Having children with Shelby in their blood is even harder. (Y/N) shouldn't be surprised when her kids get out of hand, but it still takes them all on a rollercoaster of emotions.

— Respectable: (Y/N) keeps stumbling into someone she can't shake from her past. Their interactions are tense at first, but then he helps her, and their true feelings come to light.

— Now It’s Time to Rest: (Y/N) manages to pull Tommy back from his lowest point, convinces him that he needs to rest, and even manages to get him to fall asleep.

— Change of Heart: What started out as simple, innocent teasing and intrigue of a new woman in his sister's life has turned into something more, and it's now bringing up feelings that Tommy was sure he'd pushed so far away from him.

— Pressure: Mosely decides to use (Y/N) as leverage to get what he wants from Tommy. Seems like a well calculated plan, all accept (Y/N)'s been through this enough times now that it doesn't really bother her like it used to.

— War Paint: “That ain’t make up she’s got on, it’s war paint.” In which (Y/N) decides to give her cheating boyfriend a taste of his own medicine, and Tommy agrees to help out.

— Calm Me Down: Tommy has a way of calming (Y/N) down, regardless if he’s miles away or right in front of her.

— Back Off: (daugther!reader) (Y/N)'s none too happy when she finds out that her father's trying to run her personal life.

— Rock Bottom: Tommy's hit rock bottom. Because of John, because of the vendetta, because his family truly hasn't come back together even though they’re all living in Small Heath. But (Y/N)'s there to help him through it...and, of course, clean him up when he comes home after having been in a fight.

— The Reckoning: (ghost!reader) Tommy gets visited by the love of his life on multiple occasions. Each visit helps him to cope, but the last saves his life. With it, he's finally able to come to the reckoning that she's gone.

— When It’s Still: For the first time in what seems like forever, Tommy Shelby is out of cigarettes. It's in their absence that (Y/N) finds out one of the reasons why he always has one.

— Maybe I’ll Stay: It was expected that in coming back to Birmingham after living in Germany since the war, (Y/N) Jesus would be excited to see her younger brother and father again. What wasn't expected was that she'd meet the love of her life in that same city.

— A Night In: Upon arriving home from a business trip, Tommy has plans of taking his wife out for a nice dinner. Those plans get thwarted the second his daughter runs into his arms, and he decides that spending the night in would be better than anything else in the world.

— Meet...Cute?: Another lovely barmaid, another spy, right? At least that's what Tommy Shelby's thinking when he stumbles upon The Garrison's newest hire, and he lets his thoughts on that become very clear, very fast.

— All I Ever Asked: (Y/N) was happy with where she was with Tommy Shelby. All was going well until one day he showed up late. True feelings quickly came to light and she found that she couldn’t be caught in his grasp anymore.

— The Dance: In which Tommy and (Y/N) have, quite literally, built their life around a dance.

— Fell Into Place: (Y/N) met Tommy Shelby during the Great War. Their time together was brief, and they both thought that they’d never see the other again. Until one day, they do.

— Bridges Burn: (Y/N)'s had Tommy Shelby as a friend for the majority of her life. So when she starts seeing him in a different light, she first tries to hide from him. But then he shows up on her doorstep, and she decides that she wants to let all of her bridges burn.

— Best of Wives and Best of Women: All (Y/N) Shelby wants is to spend a lazy day in bed with her husband. But will said husband ever allow that? The answer might surprise you.

— The Beauty that Saved the Beast: All (Y/N) was trying to do in taking over as the chef's assistant at Arrow House was get her father out of his absurd contract. She wasn't aiming to thaw out the heart of the man who owned the sprawling estate, but that's exactly what she ended up doing.

— A Beauty Beyond Compare: She performs under the name Jolene. He became infatuated with Jolene. Is he interested in the alter ego or the woman behind it? (Y/N) finds this out the hard way.

— Called to Serve: In taking a job as a medic at her brother's 'bakery', (Y/N) never thought that she'd find someone that she'd be interested in. She also never thought that she'd be saving the life of that same person a few years down the road.

— I’ll Make It Right: He's from a different social class. She's promised to someone else. But they just can't seem to let each other go. It's up to Tommy to make it right for the two of them.

— The One Where They’re Up All Night: Between a five month old baby and a husband that's constantly working, (Y/N) can't remember the last time that she got a decent night's sleep. So she's thrilled when Tommy offers to help her one night. Although that night might not go as she planned it to.

— The Light: (royalty!AU) There's no possible way for a love between (Y/N) and Thomas Shelby to work out. She's the next in line for her family's throne. His family is the one that everyone's warned about. But it does…and he even goes as far as killing for her.

— Too Long: After trying nearly everything to get (Y/N) to notice his feelings for her, Tommy nearly blows up on the man trying to flirt with the woman he so desperately wants to call his. Does this make (Y/N) finally realize that Tommy's not only trying to be a friend in doing this?

— Love Again: A day out on a whim in Small Heath allows for two people to finally meet in person. Tommy finds himself standing right in front of the beautiful woman who he'd only known through words and in pictures. (Y/N) finds herself starting to love again.

— Right In Front of Him: Tommy Shelby threw himself into work after his family became deeply fractured from his own doing. (Y/N) is his new secretary, who's just been hired into the company and wants to make a good impression. This leads to Charlie making a solo trip to Small Heath and Tommy realizing that he may not be able to win the fight with his feelings this time.

— In the Time of Need: Both Tommy and (Y/N) have been through the hell of losing the person they cared deeply for. They meet and find themselves married to each other in order to settle a debt left behind in the span of a week. What starts off as a rocky union eventually turns into something beautiful thanks to a tree and the help of their kids.

— The Hard Truth: He wants her, but she wants out. After the death of her husband, John, (Y/N) can't bear to be tied up into the lifestyle she’d been living in for a minute longer. Things become complicated though when another man who holds the last name Shelby tells her how he really feels about her.

— Not Going Anywhere: (Y/N)'s hired onto the staff at Arrow House in the weeks following the death of the estate's matriarch, Grace Shelby. What she didn't know upon accepting the position was that she would have an effect on not only the two year old boy in the home, but his father as well.

— Making Up For Lost Time: Tommy and (Y/N) were together before the war. They broke things off when he went to fight, but a few years later, they met again. This time, Tommy's engaged in a different kind of war. (Y/N) has no intention of leaving his side now.

— Where Do We Go From Here?: If Tommy Shelby thought he could win over (Y/N)'s heart after being the reason she got sent to prison just because he got her out early, he was dead wrong...or was he?

— I’m Here: (Y/N) met Tommy at his lowest point, both mentally and physically. She quickly becomes a rock in his life and he gets stronger because of her. And when another major event brings him to his lowest again, he finds solace in knowing that she's still there for him.

— Redemption: When a woman comes to the Shelby brothers seeking help, Tommy first finds intrigue in her story. Then he finds himself needing to make sure that she stays safe.

— Special Spots: (Y/N) decides to take Tommy to different places around Small Heath that are special to the two of them. And when she creates yet another special spot, she finds out that Tommy was in the process of creating one of his own.

— Enough Is Enough: A gruesome killing in the kitchen of their family home makes both (Y/N) and Tommy realize that they need to put their current lives behind them...for the sake of their children.

— Who Did This To You?: (Y/N) gets a little more than she bargained for when she tries to find out some information for herself, which sends Tommy into overdrive.

— I Meant No Harm: After being arranged to marry Tommy Shelby so that his dealings with Section D can get back on track, (Y/N) finds herself in a desolate place. A place that is only brightened by the two year old boy Tommy has.

— Roadside Daisies: Flowers play a big part in Tommy and (Y/N)’s relationship.

— More Than Material: (Y/N) tries to get Tommy to understand that she doesn't need so many material things, and that instead she needs him. Tommy doesn't quite know how to take that.

— Be With Me: (Y/N) stumbles upon the man she used to call 'hers'. She's happy to see him, of course, but she quickly finds out that he's engaged to another woman. This doesn't stop her from trying to rekindle what they once had. Does he play along with her or put his foot down?

— Yet You’re Still Here: An unexpected visitor late at night has pulls (Y/N) into Tommy Shelby's world in a way she never imagined.

— Devotion: (Y/N)’s by Tommy’s side from the beginning, and she has every intention of staying by his side for as long as she can.

— An Anchor to the Past: Just when (Y/N) and Tommy think they're in a comfortable place, a person from his past comes back and stirs everything up.

— Research: Tommy enlists a librarian named (Y/N) to help him with research on his latest opponents.

— A Day At the Races: Tommy decides to spend a day at the races and meets a woman who reminds him of who he used to be.

— A Getaway: Tommy and (Y/N) decide to spend a few days away from the Small Heath smoke. (pre-war)

— ‘Til Summer Comes Around: Summer in Small Heath was Tommy's favorite season, mostly because it was when the woman he was in love with came around.

— Not Just Some Backup Plan: When Grace leaves Small Heath, Tommy turns back to the person who's been around since the beginning.

— Love, I Just Need to See: In which Tommy needs glasses and (Y/N) has an opinion about every type of frame that's offered.

— For Show...?: In her attempts to fit in, (Y/N) convinces her friend group that she's got a boyfriend who will be joining her to her friend's wedding. The problem is that she has no such thing. Luckily, she's friends with Ada Thorne...who has a brother that fits the ticket for being said 'boyfriend'.

— I Did It Myself: (Y/N) has to take matters into her own hands after she gets taken by Luca Changretta.

— After All this Time: (daughter!reader) Sometimes there's no forgetting what's been done in the past.

— Jealous: Tommy's not too fond of seeing one of his men trying to make a move on the woman he's taken an interest in. (Y/N)'s not too fond of people acting jealous.

— We’ll Still Love You: Tommy and (Y/N)'s youngest child has a hard time accepting the fact that she won't be the baby in the family anymore.

— Keep Me Close: As a maid at Arrow House, (Y/N) has many tasks that she has to complete. She never thought that one of those tasks would be to calm Charles Shelby down after he's had a bad dream. Nor did she expect to catch the attention of her boss because of how she completed that task.

— Some Time Away: (Y/N) manages to convince her partner to take the weekend off from work…the only kicker is that they can’t go anywhere because they’re currently in the midst of a global pandemic. But she still has some ideas in mind. (Modern AU)

— To Forget the Pain: During a party at Arrow House, Tommy finds a woman inside a room that nobody's allowed in.

— Within the Halls: What started off as a fairytale ended up being a nightmare.

— The Line: (Y/N) does something she thought she'd never do in her entire life.

— As Good A Place As Any: (Y/N) finds the perfect time to share some news she's been keeping secret for some time now.

— A Loving Hand and Some Warm Tea: When (Y/N)'s illness turns from bad to worse, she's thankful that she's got Tommy there to help her get through it...even when, in the first place, he was worried about it and she wasn't.

— A Lazy Day: Tommy comes home to find (Y/N) and Charlie spending some time together in the backyard. Instead of going right to his office, he decides to join in. (Modern AU)

— The Boiling Point: (Y/N) has denied her feelings for Tommy to the point where she can't anymore. Will admitting them lead to good? Or will it blow up in her face? Does she know that Tommy feels the same about her?

— A Moment of Respite: Tommy has a dream of the woman he met in France.

— Don’t Turn Into Them: Tensions escalate when (Y/N)'s worry of Tommy becoming something he's not gets miscommunicated and blown out of proportions.

— Merry & Bright: (Y/N) still gets her wish of having a white Christmas, even if it came down to the last possible.

— The Art of Christmas: (Y/N) asks Tommy to go on a walk with her so that she can collect fir branches and get their house ready for the holidays. (Modern AU)

— Right Person, Wrong Time: Three times where Tommy and (Y/N) tried to express their feelings for each other only to find out that it was the wrong time, and the one time, the right time, that they did.

— The Good I’ll Do: Tommy and (Y/N) finally step over the line after the celebration of the legal betting license that was given to the family.

— Weather the Storm: Tommy and (Y/N) spend some time together after a monumental storm leaves them with no choice but to abandon their original plans.

— The Same Situation: Tommy's so worried about Freddie Thorne being with his sister, Ada, that he doesn't even realize that he himself is in just about the same situation with Freddie's sister, (Y/N). What happens when Freddie finds out that the same thing is happening on the flip side of it all?

— Busted By the Bird: (Y/N) invites Tommy over to her flat after a night out. There, Tommy finds out some interesting things about the woman he's interested in. (Modern AU)

— Like Real People Do: Tommy and (Y/N) run into each other again in the most peculiar of places, and instead of letting their secrets come to light, they decide that they'll just forget that all and find comfort in each other.

— Cyril Needed A Friend: Tommy comes home from business to find that his family grew by one while he was away.

— “Darling”: Tommy and (Y/N) have a lot of explaining to do to the rest of the family when Tommy lets a term of endearment he doesn't normally use slip one night at the Garrison.

— Mutually Invested: Tommy finds out something he did not know about (Y/N) (Y/L/N) after it comes down to a life or death situation. Both realize that sometimes it's best to choose your investments wisely.

— The Silver Lining: (daughter!reader) (Y/N) Shelby's always been the 'forgotten one' in her family, but there may just be a silver lining in all of her suffering.

— A Not So Secret: Tommy and (Y/N) think that they're in the clear to spend a quiet Valentine's Day together, but little do they know that their secret may not stay one for long.

— Tied To You: During a laid back Valentine's Day together, Tommy lets (Y/N) know how much she means to him and that he'll be by her side forever. (Modern AU)

— Better Than the Dream: After meeting in France, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Tommy Shelby were certain that they'd never see each other again...until one fateful moment has Tommy dreaming of her, or maybe he's not dreaming at all.

— What Do You Regret?: Tommy and (Y/N) talk about some regrets in life over a drink and a quiet moment at the Garrison. When (Y/N) suddenly brings up the topic of 'them’, she gets a pretty interesting response.

— Helpless: (Y/N) falls for a charming soldier at one of her family's parties. From the second her eyes fall on him, she's helplessly in love. (Wartime)

— Escaping the Ashes: (Y/N) reflects on her time spent in the limelight. Although she left it all behind, she can't say she regrets stepping into it; for it brought her the one thing she loves the most. (Modern AU)

— Dancing With the Devil: Tommy Shelby arrives in London with one plan in mind, but quickly stumbles upon another when he meets (Y/N). After finding common ground, he makes the decision on which way to go in a rather unique fashion. A decision that leaves one person rather pleased and the other rather pissed.

— This Storm Will Also Pass: Tommy manages to calm down (Y/N) after he finds her hiding and riddled with anxiety during a late autumn thunderstorm.

— Free the Slave: (Y/N) becomes blinded by opportunity when mysterious preacher, Thomas Shelby, comes into her town that she doesn't see the bigger picture of what's going on at first. But when she’s shown it, she becomes even more intrigued. (AU)

— Where the Sky Opens Up to Everything: Tommy and (Y/N) get away from the smoke and the dirt of Small Heath, where Tommy is finally able to clear his mind for a moment. (prewar)

— Twice As Much: (Y/N) shares her thoughts on Tommy's decision to go into business with the Russians.

— My Favorite Story: Tommy finds himself spending time in his office for other reasons once he finds out (Y/N)'s interest in the room.

— PART 2 of the IMAGINES MASTERLIST

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Divider by @firefly-graphics

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #masterlist

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cerastes · 2 months

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I've seen people before saying that, in terms of presentation, NIKKE delivers it better than Arknights in telling what they want to tell. And I still see this occasionally whenever people start comparing stories in gacha games. Looking at your post, seems like that wasn't a lie at all.

Right, this is an interesting topic for me, so let me give my two cents on this.

I would say that statement is generally true. Nikke's main strengths are its presentation and knowing how to leverage its strengths in general, but let's focus on presentation: It's story is nothing to write home to (note that I am up to Chapter 18), neither are its events (on this regard, take me lightly, I've only read three), but what Nikke wants to say, you will very clearly understand. It's good at telling its story. Sometimes the localization will have Localization Moments (Chatterbox is described as female in the first cutscene he is mentioned, male every time afterwards; there's a lot of clearly literally translated little expressions that make no sense in the flow of the conversations), but overall, even though you're looking at a story that in a lot of ways you've seen a lot of times, its particularities stand out because Nikke tells them properly, concisely, and clearly. Characterization is consistent, and there's a good amount of care clearly put into both consistency and overarching important parts of the narrative; a favorite example of mine is how, in the tutorial, if you pay close attention, you can actually see Marian's eyes glow red during her reload animation, foreshadowing something pretty important that happens with her later.

So even if the story beats are not particularly good or intriguing -- and sometimes, outright terrible, like in Chapter 18 oh god I hate Chapter 18 -- you at least can tell with clarity what's going on and why it's going on.

Arknights has the yang to the yin here, somewhat: The stories on Arknights tend to range from okay to great, and AK events have a habit of going pretty damn hard, either as a whole or at least parts of them. Sometimes, however, they have a weakness, and this weakness is that the actual story telling can be dense. Density is often attributed to good writing, but the truth is, sometimes, the text isn't advanced, it's simply clumsy, and the prose in Arknights is decidedly clumsy. But when you actually untangle the spaghetti of clumsy prose, you find some strong story telling, strong characterization, and topics you don't often find discussed in video games, less so in gacha. You kinda have to work for it, basically.

Something Nikke does good is also that it keeps its relevant cast at any given story beat low, giving it more cohesion, or rather, making it easy to stay cohesive, because Arknights can handle larger casts pretty well sometimes, but I'll be frank, the current main story has so many literal whos to keep track of that I'm supposed to be invested in that I don't really bother. I'm sorry, but I can't really feel a damn thing about Outcast when she showed up for a few scenes and then got nuked off by a contrivance while fighting some faceless nobodies we are told we should fear.

But on the other hand, Nikke narrative, again, despite its strong delivery, is still built on a feeble base for the most part. I only think of a few characters I care about in Nikke, because a lot of the cast is just fluff and Obligatory Archetypes (bunny girls, school girls, maids, etc), whereas in Arknights, I care about a whole damn lot of them, even those without events, because their files and modules paint a very integral and intriguing picture of them. Even smaller scenes in Arknights sometimes can have a big emotional impact, due to its extensive and well crafted worldbuilding and its clever use of its elements in every event, something Nikke cannot claim, because worldbuilding in Nikke is almost non existent.

They both have their strengths, basically, and it's fascinating to me, a writer, to take a deeper look at them.

#arknights #nikke

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thesaintofnevergettingitright · 1 year

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I find myself funny and I’m making it everyone else’s problem.

#mine #leverage #leverage: redemption #alec hardison #sophie devereaux #harry wilson #parker #nate ford #jim sterling #eliot spencer #breanna casey #hey. hey look. I'm aware I've already done this but with the Stranger Things cast #but I am posting for ME and I find MYSELF hilarious #mostly I just wanted others to imagine Eliot singing Getcha Head in the Game while tipsy #because it's a very good image lmao #also-as is true of all of my Leverage posting-#if you disagree with me ✨ no you don’t ✨#I got my correct ADHD meds back today after like 3 months of insurance and pharmacy nonsense #and I forgot how strong it is #so sorry about the sheer amount I've been posting #I simply cannot stop #I have so many other things I should be doing #including but not limited to: eating dinner #instead my brain will not let me vacate tumblr dot com #maybe I'll use the queue feature for the first time in my life for this lmao #just to space out my posts by at least a day #wait what's the difference between the queue and the scheduling feature?#someone help

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bhaalble · 4 months

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While I'm on my script doctor shit: I want to talk about Karlach.

Karlach's not dealing with the same level of narrative neglect/hasty rewrite fingerprints that Wyll is. As a standalone entity, her arc works. I Am Not Immune To Weeping at the Post-Gortash Fight Scene etc etc. But it does feel oddly discordant with the other companion quests. Karlach doesn't really experience any moral evolution or make meaningful decisions. When we meet her she's a kindhearted friendly hero, and she will be that regardless of whether she dies in Faerun or goes back to Avernus. She's incredibly likeable while she does that, and I also don't want to come across like I think her writing is shallow. But in a game where all the companion quests follow a pretty intentional pattern regarding the cycle of abuse, it sticks out like a sore thumb to me that the resolution of the Gortash plot doesn't really impact her character arc one way or the other.

As always I feel compelled to point out that this isn't me going "actually she's secretly a bad person and the game won't admit it". This is more me attempting to mine some more in-depth conflict, using the existing arc as a template. With that in mind, these are the changes I would make:

-Make the use of Soul Coins MUCH MORE of a character point. With how much attention is drawn to acquiring these things for the first time and a special dialogue choice for whether or not you'll have her use them, it feels very much like a dropped thread that it doesn't really go anywhere storywise. Leveraged correctly I think this could've been the chance to show a crack in Karlach's persona. She's your big loveable attack dog who's been having the worst decade, yeah. But she's also a survivor, who's not only been deployed into an endless conflict but who also hasn't had a single person she can trust other than herself. I think you could make more of a thing about how the conditions she lived in in Avernus forced her to make her peace with occasionally stepping on other people, even some innocents, so she could live to fight another day. There's shades of this in some of her conversations with the tiefling refugees already, she mentions to Dammon that she felt like she couldn't really do anything for Elturel. Push into that guilt, and with it, that denial. Have ten years spent with devils maybe just maybe given her a slightly more removed view of the value of a life that isn't her own?

-Whether the player feeds her Soul Coins or not I think it should be specified by Dammon that her routine use of them during her time in Avernus has sped up her engine breakdown by putting it into almost permanent overdrive. Its a damnation of Zariel (who probably knew what the coins were doing, but didn't care) and a startling moment for Karlach, that there are consequences for being cavalier with the souls of others. High Approval Karlach either asks to stop taking them (if the player has been giving them) or thanks the player for encouraging her to hold off. Low Approval Karlach will ask to keep taking them on the grounds of "in for a penny in for a pound", arguing that they can't afford to lose the advantages the player has seen it gives them (if they have been giving them) or becoming frustrated that the player is judging her and what she's had to do to survive (if they haven't).

-Make the reveal that the Steel Watch run off infernal iron MUCH MORE emotional for Karlach, as she realizes she was an experimental run for Gortash to do this. Double down on this when the player discovers that they have corpses inside them (also, put this reveal before the Steel Watch foundry quest can be completed). Its both horrifying on a gut level to find out the stupid evil reason for all her suffering...but also she can't help but feel culpable for LIVING. If she hadn't been strong enough to survive it the experiment might've ended there. Its not true but it is one of the worst thoughts you can have when you've just found out you're going to die anyways.

-I would make the relationship between Karlach and Gortash much more mutual and much more (initially) positive relationship. Have him be genuinely glad to see her, genuinely impressed that she survived the hells. Its what he always liked about her, her grit, her ability to face down impossible odds and come out the victor. Compliments that would've made her happy back in the day and now feel like a punch to the gut. Its all build-up, though, to the Choice which will define Karlach's route.

-By virtue of his experiments Gortash has gotten very good at working with Infernal Iron. And he believes he can fix Karlach's heart, in exchange for her basically taking up a more elevated version of her old job. He could use a bodyguard powered by hellfire and with a strong understanding of devils. Its also, just good optics for his man of the people image to have his right hand be some outer city kid elevated to greatness. He makes a lot of promises in that moment: she won't die. She'll get a chance to have a LIFE back, but now a life with all the power and security she could ask for. More than that, they could change things in this city. Give its residents better lives, improve things for all the little Karlachs out there. And after that...who knows? The Hells might be ripe for some conquest back. Gods know they've both got old scores to settle

-She takes time to think about it, and talk with the player. In addition to all the other hang-ups she might have this is where the Steel Watch comes up again, with her feeling like she's poisoned by that knowledge. A player trying to persuade her into taking the deal can point out, in the end its not so different from soul coins. Why draw the line now. If this Persuasion check is passed she can note that at least they could afford to be choosier with their victims, putting the worst baddies to use for the protection of everyone. That wouldn't be so bad....would it?

-You meet Gortash for a final time. If persuaded by the player to not take the deal (or if left to choose for herself with High Approval) Karlach will kill him where he stands. His soul rises in the form of Bane's Chosen and you have a proper boss fight. If persuaded to take it (or left to her own devices on Low Approval) Karlach will take the deal. This will mean losing Karlach from the party (with the exception of the House of Hope mission where she will appear Jaheira style) as she will be busy protecting Gortash. The player gains custom armor from Gortash and an assembly of Steel Watchers they can summon in the Final Battle.

-If she doesn't take the deal her endings play out pretty similarly to how they do in canon, either dying or returning to Avernus. This time, however, its with a new lease on life (or death). She's gotten to choose to be better than the things that dropped her here. She's still scared, still angry. But she's also proven something to herself. That Zariel and Gortash and them were wrong about her, and that she is much more than the mindless weapon they wanted to turn her into.

-If she takes the deal it unlocks a new ending for Gortash. Rather than come to the Elder Brain himself he will instead give you his Netherstone as a show of good faith, trusting you to take the chance to subdue the Elder Brain for your mutual rule.

-If the Player subdues the Elder Brain you and Gortash move it back underground, pretending to have defeated it and using the fear created by the mind flayer outbreak to rule the populace. Karlach in the Epilogue talks to you about how the two of you are making massive moves in the city. She seems to be trying very hard to convince herself at least most of the changes are positive....from a certain point of view.

-If the Player destroys the Elder Brain, Gortash skips town and takes Karlach with him rather than face his disgrace. In the Epilogue Karlach says he's starting to rebuild in another city state, "not tellin you where, though. Don't really think I want to have to fight you if you decide to come smash this one too....even though I'd definitely win." She seems extremely worn down in this ending and trying to cover it up. Gortash lost a LOT of favor with Bane having his plans blow up in his face like that and its made him. Snippy. Still, "its a living. And it probably wouldn't even be that if it weren't for him." The player can hint that it may be time for her to start moving on to a better environment, and she says only if she can find someone to do a more permanent fix for Ol' Rusty. Gortash still has to do check-ups almost monthly to keep her stable.

-She still keeps in touch with Dammon, though....who knows. He might have some new thoughts after seeing all the blueprints Gortash has drawn up....

#sorry that this is six miles long but i have so many thoughts #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #karlach #enver gortash #script doctor tag #baldurs gate critical #long post

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one-flower-one-sword · 5 months

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His fingers curled into claws, and he aimed directly for Hua Cheng's right eye!

It all happened in under a second. Hua Cheng dodged just as fast, but the attack still left two bloody scratches on his cheek.

For the first time, Hua Cheng faced an opponent he couldn't overtake in speed. His gaze turned sharp, and he changed tactics on the spot - he called forth millions of wraith butterflies, and they swarmed the man in a frenzy. The myriad butterflies wrapped the white-clad man inside a large, shimmering silver chrysalis, but that likely wouldn't last long. Hua Cheng was about to grab Xie Lian when the silver butterflies shrieked and exploded into sparkling powder!

Seeing the subtle change to Hua Cheng's expression as so many wraith butterflies were destroyed at once, Xie Lian knew that this wasn't good. The white-clad man had blown apart the wraith butterflies, and now he was hidden within the shimmering silver powder that choked the air. His newly grown hand struck out once more, aiming again for Hua Cheng's right eye!

TGCF Volume 6, page 76

In this previous post, I've speculated about the logistics of Hua Cheng being blind on his right side and his usage of the wraith butterflies as a sort of disability aid in some instances. This above scene of his first direct clash against Bai Wuxiang is another one of those moments where the text isn't directly stating something but it's possible to extrapolate from what is described and from what is implied.

Hua Cheng is extremely skilled at direct combat at a very young age already, evidenced by the way he manages to injure several of Qi Rong's lackeys when they capture him as he's only ten years old:

"I called for five or six guys, and they still couldn't catch the brat. He trashed and bit them until they were bloodied all over."

Volume 2, page 351

And then later as a young soldier in the army:

"Although the boy was carrying nothing but a worn sword, he was still highly effective and struck down many of the binu. [...] "You've never used a saber before, right? You use a sword, but the sword is tricky. Although it's fast and extremely aggressive, its range is fairly limited. If you've never used a saber before, try it next time. I think you might be even stronger with it."

Volume 3, page 124-127

(The horrifying thing about this is of course that while Hua Cheng probably possessed natural talent, the reason why he had to learn to defend himself against adults as a mere child was that he was so severely and frequently beaten by them)

Also in my previous post, I speculated that Hua Cheng always keeping his right eye covered likely meant he learned early how to compensate for his blind spot in combat, since that obvious weakness is something his opponents would immediately notice and try to take advantage of. Until Bai Wuxiang, we never witness him fighting anyone who can actually injure him, not since he's become a Supreme Ghost King. He defeats 33 heavenly officials in a row, and even fighting two against one with Feng Xin and Mu Qing, he defeats both of them with ease.

I would argue that, aside from being extremely skilled with a saber and having immense spiritual powers, it can be extrapolated from the above quote about his fight against Bai Wuxiang that it's also Hua Cheng leveraging his superior speed against his opponents that prevents them from taking advantage of his blind spot.

(As an aside, I would assume that even when Hua Cheng is in a fake skin that has both eyes and not in his true form, he's still blind in the right one because it's, well, fake. If the text ever actually contradicts that (I've not read volume 8 yet) I will add corrections)

But now, he's facing Bai Wuxiang, who is just as if not even faster than him. Judging by the fact that Bai Wuxiang aims his attack at Hua Cheng's right eye twice, he's correctly judged his blind spot to be the most vulnerable place to go for, thereby managing to bypass his defense long enough to injure him.

Hua Cheng immediately reasses the situation, realizes he needs to create more distance between himself and his opponent, and switches to use his wraith butterflies as a sort of distract-defend-attack combo. And against everyone else, this would have worked - we see this when he uses them to drive Feng Xin and Mu Qing back after they kidnapped Xie Lian away from him:

The butterfly deluge was blocked by the formless spiritual shield and shattered into shimmering silver light, which rapidly recrystallized into new silver butterflies and attacked once more. The onslaught was completely unstoppable - Feng Xin and Mu Qing gave ground slowly as they kept their shields up, and Hua Cheng steadily advanced step by step.

Volume 6, page 63

And then again to keep Feng Xin away and occupied while he faces Mu Qing with Eming:

Meanwhile, each arrow Feng Xin shot at the butterflies was snapped by their sharp wings. The sheer number of butterflies was ultimately too difficult to deal with!

Volume 6, page 64

But Bai Wuxiang is infinitely more powerful and simply destroys all the wraith butterflies at once, which then gives him the opportunity to immediately go for Hua Cheng's blind spot a second time and aim his attack there again.

If we continue to read the wraith butterflies as not only a weapon but also a disability aid of sorts, these fight scenes demonstrate both the possible uses of them as such and also their limits. While they're feared for good reason and have multiple functions - acting as his eyes and ears like spies, defending like a shield or cutting like a blade - they can help him make up for his blind spot to a certain degree, but they can't erase it. They're an aid for his vision loss, not a replacement.

(Which is a good thing imo, just to make that clear. I feel like it's always such a wasted opportunity when characters sustain a disability and then it's either magically fixed or they continue on as if they're still able-bodied. But Hua Cheng is disabled, and the ways he's found to empower himself and to navigate a world that's pretty hostile to people like him, don't take away from that)

Like I mentioned above I haven't read Volume 8 yet, where as far as I know there'll be more fight scenes, so I might come back to this post in the future to add further observations or correct previous ones!

#tgcf #rereading tgcf #hua cheng #disabled!hua cheng #I'm also gonna screencap ep 5 of the donghua to analyze his fight scenes #because watching him fight is an absolute delight #I'm just like xie lian in that way i love hua cheng and i love sword fights lmao

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kaftan · 5 months

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Some Notes on Arcs 18-20

(Long post! Here there be ramblings! Sorry)

- I forgot this was an arc 18 moment till I checked — Taylor feeling seduced (her words) by Dinah’s power, longing to hold on to her despite her mission being to free her… goosebumps. I love how the villains she hates rub off on her, worm (ha) into her.

- And then describing the act of returning her to her home as throwing away a resource… something that felt dumb to do… being proven right, in a sense, in arc 20, when it comes back to bite her… I’m reminded of some dialogue from animorphs that I’ll have to paraphrase, something about how what matters isn’t what’s right or wrong, it’s what’s expedient. Taylor isn’t all the way there yet, but feels like a matter of time.

- More on Taylor and morality: it’s fascinating to see her go through the same rough trajectory for every major battle — she starts from her baseline, being disturbed at the notion of seriously hurting or killing anyone, slowly numbs that sentiment with plenty of half-hearted strands of reasoning, eventually escalates to the point of cold-blooded violence or the enablement of such… and feels nothing. “Dissociation as an integral aspect of being” moment!

- I love Jessica Yamada. Not enough to read Ward, I have my limits. Getting a better perspective on the “all Amy’s horses and all Amy’s men couldn’t put Victoria back together again” situation was a treat. I love the horror elements in Worm. I love the horror of having the face of your trauma etched into the folds of your brain.

- Met Sveta! People on tumblr namedrop her a lot, to the point where I wondered if she’d been introduced before and I forgot. She’s a darling.

- Lily’s meltdown about Skitter… you can’t even look straight at her without feeling your skin crawl ❤️ but she sounds idealistic and naive even with cockroaches and bees crawling over her face ❤️ she starts making sense ❤️

- [Trickster voice] my beautiful gamer princess with a disorder… talk to me…

- This quote here:

“I mentioned it in passing to Miss Militia,” I said, “Better that you tell the truth and say we pushed hard for it. Blame me.”

“No,” Regent said, “Blame me.”

I shot him a look, and he shrugged. “Just wanted to get in on the fun,” he said.

says so much about Alec, lmao. It flagged in my brain because it’s the second time I’ve consciously noted it: his jokes about wanting to be included speak volumes. The truth he does not dare to know, etc etc

- Taylor “we cannot rule out human sacrifice” Hebert

- Marissa: She’s my friend. / Taylor: Was. It’s a big difference. Fast forward: Emma interlude, crossing paths at Arcadia. I love storytelling.

- Speaking of the Emma interlude: reading about Taylor’s bullying always makes me feel queasy; this was bone nausea on a deep level. What happened to Taylor is like if your worst fears about other people came true. You know, the nagging worry that you’re a burden, that a late text means I don’t want to be your friend. The worry that any reasonable person will tell you to ignore. How the fuck do you come back from living that nightmare?

Reminds me of Amy, how what happened to her is like if your worst fears about yourself came true.

- Everyone always talks about Taylor’s repressed rage but holy shit her repressed rage. What a character. What a character. I love her fantasies of violence. I love how much she basks in that meager catharsis.

- There’s something beautiful about how effortless the supervillain persona is for Taylor. (Every you is the real you, you are the mask and the wearer, etc.) Her standoff against Dragon and Defiant might be one of my favorite scenes yet. The perfectly affected nonchalance, the hanging threats toward hostages (becoming a theme), the mile-a-minute plotting, the grandiose gestures, the leveraging of fear… she’s a wonder and a terror.

- When she smiles and Clockbocker says “Fuck me, it just sunk in. It’s really her.” :-)))

- “and so that Defiant could make something resembling an apology as part of his twelve step assholes anonymous process” I fucking love you Taylor I love you forever

#wormblogging #LONG POST #sorry.#I am so excited for the story progression from here on out.

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damn-stark · 10 months

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Chapter 12 The Siren’s trick

Chapter 12 of Moonlight

A/N- The consequences for leaving Dragonstone are going to bite her in the ass soon!

Warning- Swearing, ANGST!, suggested nfsw, fluff, talks of death and pregnancy, Larys jumpscare, and SPOILERS for future events of HOTD.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- After 1x09, events based off of Fire and Blood

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

Every bit of your intuition is telling you to just go back to your quarters, after all most of what you’ve heard about Lord Larys Strong has been very odd things.

Sure your source isn’t very reliable, but after so many of the same reports it has to be true—no it is true. So you should just leave him be and pretend the interaction didn’t happen. But your curiosity has the best of you. And you need to know how he knows about Cregan and you.

“Sit please,” he points to the wooden chair around a small wooden table holding two low candles. “Wine?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No thank you, I’m fine.” You look around and see that he brought you to some small dusty library.

“I’ve known your mother since she was a little girl,” Lord Larys interjects as he pours liquid into some teacups. “She possessed quite a rebellious spirit. Much like yours.”

You hum softly and smile for the first time since running into him. “I wish I would have known her since then,” you say. “My grandfather Viserys always had the best stories about her childhood.”

“I’m sure you would have become the best of friends,” Lord Larys says as he finally walks to the table. “Tea?” He asks and lifts the already served cup.

You nod stiffly and gently take the tea cup from his hands. When he’s taking his own seat across from you you make sure to smell the tea first. It doesn't smell like Moon tea or anything out of the ordinary, albeit if it was poison you probably wouldn’t smell it. Would he poison you?

Probably.

So instead you put the teacup down and just wait. “Prince Aemond went to a meeting with the King and other Lords, why are you not in attendance Lord Larys?” You ask the man.

Said man puts his cane aside and sips some of his wine before he answers you. “I’m not really a man of war. As you can see. My skills aren’t needed for war meetings.”

You hum in comprehension and wrap your hands around the teacup but you don’t raise it, you just keep your hands there. “My husband will return soon, so state your business Lord Larys.”

Lord Larys nods stiffly and sighs. “It seems that ever since your return your friends have disappeared. I just wish to be a friend to you princess.”

You smile and nod slowly. “A friend,” you repeat softly and glance down at your tea before you part your lips. “My friends are scarce here, it's true, but you will never be my friend.” You drag your eyes up and curl your lip to a menacing scowl. “You see, my few friends know about you, Lord Strong…”

Said man swallows thickly and blinks with discomfort.

“You may have leverage, but you don’t have my gullibility. One thing my friend Lord Stark taught me was to see through people. I see through you.” You lean forward, and he stiffens—“You’re a snake. Winter is coming Lord Larys, snakes don’t fare well in the winter. It would be sad to see you end up nothing more but a shriveled up shell.” You smile sweetly at him. “No?”

Lord Larys clears his throat and hides his discomfort with a nonchalant expression and a deadpanned answer. “Right.”

You hum and sit back. “So let’s just be allies, does that sound better?”

“Much,” he says and then leans forward. “You wish to help your mother, is that not true? That’s why you hide through these halls?

You nod as a response and he continues.

“Well ever since the death of Prince Jaehaerys Ser Otto has posted more guards, they watch the walls. They watch dusty corridors. Ever since you’ve come back they watch you too. It’s not safe for you to be wondering the halls, Princess. If you wish to help your mother by passing information you will need to be a lot smarter.”

“I will need an inside man,” you add quietly.

Lord Larys nods. “Precisely. I could help you. I could share what the lords say around their decorated table.”

You exhale and blink. “In exchange of what?” You ask knowing that this wouldn’t just be from the kindness of his heart.

“I told you already, I don’t wish to meet death so soon,” he continues saying. “When your mother and prince Daemon come to King’s Landing I want them to see me as an ally. Prince Daemon has no mercy for his enemies, he’d kill me the first chance he got, but if the Queen were to hear a good word from her only daughter, she’d calm her husband's thirst for blood.”

“That’s right,” you agree. “I could tell her to show you mercy. I’m sure she’ll be thankful to hear that you helped her cause.” You sigh and lift your chin. “But you must know that if you fail me in some way, I won’t need to wait for Daemon to kill you.”

Lord Larys scoffs softly and nods. “I don’t doubt you will.”

You offer him a stiff smile and push your seat back to get up and leave, but he reaches his hand out to touch yours, causing you to stop immediately and snap your eyes back to him.

“One more thing,” he adds and sits back. “As allies I would just like to give you a piece of advice.”

You slowly stand up and keep your eyes on him, letting him go on.

“If you wish to keep living through this game, you will need to play smarter than you already are. Death will come again, perhaps for another one of your brothers, or your mother herself…”

You grow stiff and narrow your gaze on him.

“If it does you can’t just waste away in your quarters giving your husband the cold shoulder,” Lord Larys adds almost sternly. “You’re a dragon, princess. You have Velaryon and Targaryen blood. You are married to Prince Aemond, you hold power many wish to possess. Use it.” He slowly pushes himself off his chair and doesn’t lose the serious look on his face. “Play the perfect wife, be the people’s Princess. The Realm’s Golden Girl. If not, you will not live to see your son's first name day.”

Now you grow quite uncomfortable, but you don’t show it, you just nod in comprehension before you offer him one last smile and leave the same way you came in.

As to not have Aemond arrive to an empty room, you hurry to your secret door, unable to keep yourself from thinking of what Lord Larys said at the end; he’s right of course, Aemond may have comforted you after that tragic dinner, you may have accepted his comfort, but after that night you kept trying to ignore him. He’s left you gifts like beautiful flowers, expensive jewelry, anything you liked he gifted it to you to help ease your anger and break your distance. But none of it helped, not when you dream of Lucerys often.

But Lord Larys is right, if you don’t try to mend your relationship they’ll catch you and kill you. Not Aemond, but his family and his brothers council would. And if you wish to keep helping your mother try to win her throne back, you need to…be as you were with Aemond.

You do still love him, you miss him, so…it shouldn’t be so hard. There will be hard moments perhaps, more deaths that threaten to break you apart, but you can’t lose your mother. Thus when you return to your quarters after checking that he wasn’t there already, you pick up Wolf off the couch to snuggle with him while you wait for Aemond to return.

Thankfully you don’t have to wait long.

“Where’s Aerion?” Is the first thing he asks.

You don’t try to give away your tactics, he’s no fool he’ll see right through you, so you continue to be as you were for now. Distant. “Sleeping. It’s his nap time.”

Aemond hums, and you turn around on the couch to watch him as he takes his eyepatch off and picks up his black leather one. Regardless of everything, you do like seeing him without his eyepatch.

“Where are you going?” You ask since he doesn’t sit down and seems to have a book in his other hand.

Aemond holds onto his eyepatch and slowly faces you, causing the corner of your lips to perk up just slightly at the sight of his pretty face.

“I need to talk to you,” he lets you know straight away. “Not here.”

Your interest piques. “Okay. Where then?” You probe and put the cat back on the couch.

Aemond loses the tension on his shoulders and keeps holding your gaze as he answers you. “Come with me and you’ll know.”

You let out a deep sigh and take a moment before you get off the couch and follow behind him. He doesn’t turn to any door that leads outside, and he keeps the book in his hand so it must be close and inside the castle. You would ask, but you want to be surprised.

Alas, when you round one corner you are surprised even if you know exactly where he’s leading you to; the roofs you used to sneak off to when you were kids.

“Tell me now your intentions,” you break your silence with a genuine smile decorating your features. “If you wish to push me off, let me know.”

Aemond peers back at you and scoffs just as he would when he was a boy.

You grin at him and let him grab your hand to help you out of the window and onto the tall roofs that have remained unchanged. After so much change, coming here and seeing that your one place of escape was the same, is a relief.

“The world looks smaller now,” you muse and slowly make way to the edge.

Aemond slowly trails behind you. “Hm. We’re older now.”

You smile down at the ground hundreds of feet below and nod slowly. “We’re married now. We have a son. All that was a fantasy before.” You blink and drift your eyes to the corner to watch him fall beside you. “I was so scared of being sent away to some old fat lord. I swore I would run away if I did.” You giggle softly. “I'm glad I didn’t. I don’t know what I would’ve done if…I was meant to live without you.”

Aemond swallows thickly and his eyes soften at your comment.

“Of course,” you tease him and glance away. “I think my grandfather mentioned that I could marry one of my fathers Velaryon cousins. I met them when Lady Laena died.”

“The plump one,” Aemond mentions. “I remember him talking to you.”

You smirk at him. “Were you jealous?” You probe sweetly. “I saw you watching me.”

Aemond just holds your gaze and doesn’t respond, letting you know that he was in fact jealous. However, your cockiness doesn’t last, your smirk slowly falters and a sigh leaves out of your nose. You sit down at the edge and slowly begin to swing your legs back and forth. Aemond exhales deeply before he sits down beside you.

You can hear him part his lips and close them again to swallow thickly. You can’t find what to say so you wait, but he takes a moment before he quietly speaks; reminding you of the sweet boy you once knew.

“I never meant to hurt you,” he mutters, making you meet his soft blue eye. “That was never my intention. It never has been. You know that. You…” he sighs. “Are special to me, more than anyone in this fucking world, you always have been.”

You can’t help it, hearing him express himself so kindly and vulnerably causes your heart to skip a beat and your lips to pull to a soft smile.

“I love you more than I loved anything, more than I thought possible,” he says softly. “I burn for you, you are the very air I need to breathe. You’re my tranquilly, my light in the dark.”

Your eyes fill with tears and your smile wobbles. He didn’t apologize, he won’t, but this is his way of making amends with you. And like a fool, you just slightly fall for it without the need to pretend. Sure a pang of guilt hits you after what Cregan and you did, but you brush it away, you have to.

“I love you more than anything,” you tell him sincerely. “I’ve loved you from the moment we were stupid children sneaking out of bed just to talk about nonsense,” you laugh softly and slowly take his hand to interlace your fingers together. “I’ve loved you everyday I was away. You are the very thing that keeps my world on its axis, without you—I…I can’t even imagine not having you with me.”

The corner of his lips pull to a smile and you can’t help but lean over to press your forehead against his. He cups your cheeks and presses a gentle kiss on your lips.

You grin slowly. “I missed that,” you whisper. “I missed you.”

Aemond grins softly, and this time you grab the back of his neck and pull him in for a deep lingering kiss. His fingers just gently dig into your cheeks and doesn’t hesitate to add passion to the kiss by slowly brushing his tongue over your bottom lip. Your heart skips a beat, but before you can further it pulls away.

You smile and he finally hands you the book he had been holding onto.

“Oh,” you whisper and pull back to lift it. “What is this? A book about me?” You giggle and turn it to read the cover. And the moment you do you can’t help but laugh at the irony.

Aemond scoffs softly. “What’s so funny?” He probes.

You brush your fingers over the words and whisper the title, “The tale of Daenys the Dreamer.” Your grin turns soft and before he can press you, you pull his hand closer to you to press his palm against your belly. “She’s itty bitty right now, but our Daenys is growing as we speak. She’s almost 2 months old?” You meet his gaze and see his smile soften.

It might not be his, time will only tell, but even if it isn’t his, it will be.

“Don’t jest,” Aemond warns you.

You shake your head. “I’m being serious. Maester Gerardys told me before I left. I've just held it from you just in case. It’s still so early on.”

Aemond glances down at your belly again and gently caresses it before he surprises you with a deep kiss. You should've held back, but you don’t, you kiss him back fiercely. You let the book go and cup his cheeks to only deepen your gesture, to move in sync.

After so long of just stealing glances at each others, brushing each others hands agaisnt each others while you slept, you both ached for each other more than ever before. You were both starved for each other. So much so that it doesn’t take long to start undressing each other there on the roof.

Of course you backed away from the edge, but you didn’t leave them to have sex. You did it there, then dressed sloppily and did it again in your quarters until the day ended and nightfall came. You probably would’ve gone longer, but he stopped himself.

“I’m leaving,” he lets you know as he caresses your back gently. “Aegon and I are flying to Rook's Rest to aid Ser Criston.”

So soon? Shit.

“When?” You probe quietly.

Aemond sighs. “Tonight. We leave tonight.”

Fuck. Fuck.

“If only I could go,” you mumble as you fiddle with his fingers. “I would be great help. Astraea and I.”

Aemond scoffs softly. “I don’t doubt you will, but Aegon doesn’t want you to. You go and he’d probably punish you. Or send you away.”

You nod lightly. “Yes, I imagine.” You sigh deeply and lift your head to meet his gaze. “What if you stay?” You ask knowing well what his answer will be. “Stay here with me and itty bitty?

Aemond exhales and slides his hand to your cheek. “I have to go,” you guess right. “I can’t stay back and let Aegon fight alone. He needs me. And this war won’t end unless we fight it. I want it to end so we can leave and be happy somewhere else. So we can raise our children.”

You glance away and sigh sadly. “So…you’ll live then?” You ask.

“You're not dead yet,” he mentions.

You quickly snap your eyes up and chuckle. He smiles at his comment and at the sound of your laugh. You follow by then shifting on top of him, and he grabs a hold of your hips as he smiles up at you.

“I’ll be waiting,” you mention against his lips. “I’ll look up at the stars, if you’re not back before dawn I’ll watch the sun assuring myself with the fact that you’ll be under the same sun and stars.”

Aemond holds your gaze with a loving look and doesn’t fret to kiss you again, again, and again until someone comes to the door and reminds him of his departure.

Of course you don’t just watch him leave from the comfort of your bed, you change into a light gown as he changes into his silver and green armor that he wears incredibly well, and has you aching for him all over again, even after how sore he just left you.

“Maybe,” you coo and slowly walk to him as you sway your hips. “We can do it again with your armor on.”

Aemond peers over at you and smirks. “I have to go, my love. I'm already late as it is.”

You hum in discontent, but sit him down on the chair in front of your vanity. “Well…when you come back then. I’ll be waiting for you,” you whisper in his ear. “Don’t take it off.” You giggle and brush his hair back. “I’ll wear that silk purple gown you love, and use the lilac fragrance.”

Aemond groans, and you catch his grin through the mirror.

“Hm?” You tease him as you begin to braid his hair.

Aemond exhales deeply and tries to calm down his excitement that makes the blood rush to his crotch.

“Now,” you add on. “why don’t you stop wearing that eyepatch? You look good without it.”

Aemond licks his lips and sighs. “I don’t…like people staring. I’ll be with soldiers, that's all they do.”

You scoff. “So what? They can stare. You’re the prince, you ride Vhagar. They should be intimidated. Besides, I think it’s like looking at the stars when I look at the sapphire.” You smile and glance at him.

Aemond smiles down at his hand, and when you finish braiding half his hair you tie it with the leather band.

“Done,” you let him know. “Now it won’t get in your face when you’re flying.” You wrap your arms around his neck and sigh. “<I love you.>”

Aemond meets your gaze through the mirror and grabs your hand to press a gentle kiss on it. “<I love you.>”

“Be careful, okay? Dragon or not, you can still get hurt when you’re on Vhagar. I don’t want to see you on a pyre, Aemond.”

Said man scoffs softly. “I’ll be okay.”

You only hope.

Now even after all your pleading you follow him out, but first make sure to take a detour to grab Aerion before you walk down to the shore where Vhagar, and Aegon sat on Sunfyre, await for him.

“Remember,” you whisper to Aemond. “We’ll be waiting. Aerion, me and itty bitty.”

Aemond caresses your belly before he presses a kiss on the top of Aerion’s head, saving your lingering kiss for last.

“<I love you,>” you whisper to him in Valyrian.

“<And I love you.>” He doesn’t hold back from saying, even if his brother waits for him with annoyance. He even makes sure to caress your cheek one last time before he finally turns away and walks to Vhagar to begin mounting her.

“No goodbye kiss for your King, princess?” Aegon shouts as he leans over his saddle.

You roll your eyes over to him and shoot him a pointed glare, whilst Aemond stops beside Vhagar and glares at his brother.

“Leave her alone, Aegon,” Aemond warns his brother.

Aegon snickers and shrugs whilst he sits back and grabs his handles. “I just want some luck,” he counters smugly.

Rather than countering back with spite you sass him. “I can fetch your wife, Your Grace. No better luck than a farewell kiss from your wife.” You shoot him a smile and Aegon's smile fades away at your comment.

He leaves you alone after that, so you proceed to watch Aemond climb his enormous dragon. Once he finally sits on his saddle they don’t hesitate to ascend to the sky. You don’t leave your spot on the sand until you lose sight of them in the dark night sky.

“Come on my sweet boy, let's put you back to bed,” you tell Aerion as he rubs his eyes.

Since there’s guards following you, you can’t wait for Astraea to land by the shore. Even if she did, you don’t have the warning for your mother, so you act normal and return inside. You put Aerion back to bed and return to the security of your private quarters.

Vanessa comes and helps you prepare for bed, but you trust her so you write your short warning.

“Rook’s Rest is a trap. Aegon and Aemond will be waiting for your arrival.”

No name just in case for some reason someone that shouldn’t, reads it.

You would write to your mother a lot more, you’d write to Jacaerys too, but you have to keep it short. Perhaps later on you’ll write an apology to your mother, you’ll ask for clarification on what she knows about what really happened to your father. As for now that’s all you write. And as to not raise suspicion, you wait for Astraea to come to you.

And of course, without fault your dragon comes to you, she lands on the roof over your head and leans her head down towards the balcony whilst she groans softly.

“<Hello, my sweet girl. It’s been a long time.” You grin and caress her snout. “I need you to do something for me. Deliver this message to Dragonstone.” You raise the glass bottle you tucked the note in, to show it to her. “To my mother, Jacaerys, Baela, Rhaena or my grandmother. Either one of those.>” You tell her desprestly.

Astraea pushes herself off the roof to fly down and show you her side where the rope to mount your saddle hangs. Before she can raise suspicion or before someone can surprise you, you secure the bottle with the rope. And to make your note more noticeable you tuck a Winter rose inside the bottle before closing it with a cork.

“<Go,” you order her, knowing well her intelligence was beyond what you or anyone else can understand. “I’ll see you again soon.>”

Without waiting a second longer Astraea flies away into the night sky, leaving you wishing you could fly the skies with her.

——

It’s been ten days since Aemond left for Rook's Rest, it’s been ten days since you warned your mother about the trap. You’ve since then received letters from Aemond, only a few just updating you that it’s been quiet—or as calm as a rampage can go.

Which is good, the longer he’s out there means that your mother heeded your warning and didn’t send anyone. But the longer he’s out there means that they’re still waiting, forcing your mother and her side to react.

You can only hope that they don’t give into the pressure, regardless if a Lord has to bend the knee to Aegon. You just can’t have either Aemond or your family to get hurt.

“Congratulations Princess you are with child,” the maester breaks you from your stupor to share a fact you already knew.

Regardlessly, you offer him a smile before you look over at Helaena with a bright grin. “You hear that?” You ask her in hopes to get her out of her head.

Considering there isn’t much you can do since you aren’t officially allowed in council meetings you try to help Helaena the best way you can. But that’s proven to be hard; it's like she’s completely retracted to this shell. Before it was there, but she was also here with everyone, she interacted, but now…now she’s completely hidden. She doesn’t even interact with Jaehaera, the Dowager Queen has completely taken responsibility for her.

“How far along, maester?” Alicent asks.

She insisted on being here with you to check up on you after Aemond let her know about your condition through a letter after he left. He needed her to know so someone could keep an eye on you while he was gone. It’s sweet, it fills you with guilt and regret, but you brush those feelings aside and focus on the fact whether you should be grateful Alicent is worried about you, or concerned that she is.

Sure she worried when you were with child with Aerion, but you didn’t think she’d care now.

“Basing off her last bleeding,” the maester backs away from you and turns to face Alicent. “Almost two months.”

Yeah you only spotted that one time, when your mother came to King’s Landing, but you haven’t actually bled normally since before that. So maybe the baby is truly Aemond’s.

“I also have some news,” the maester says and gets off the chair, letting you drag your legs down and sit up on your bed—“From further examination it seems two babies are growing.”

Two…

Your smile softens and joy overtakes the guilt and regret.

“Congratulations Princess,” the maester directs at you.

“Thank you, maester.”

“That’s excellent news, the prince will be pleased,” Alicent says. “May the mother bless the twins.”

The maester nods in agreement, and then sighs and turns to you. “It seems I have also seen strain. You need to calm down princess, expecting twins is troublesome. There’s many more risks than growing one babe. I’ll talk to the prince when he returns, I’d like you to stay out of battles...”

Yeah because you were allowed to fight in them before.

“And any news that may arrive,” he adds and glances at Alicent. “Please—”

“You will not have them keep any news from me,” you cut him off in annoyance. “I will know everything. My husband and my family fight this war. I will know.”

The maester clasps his hands together and looks away from you to briefly glance at Alicent. “At least please be careful with how the news is shared then. Any stress now can cause a miscarriage, especially with how delicate it’s going along, Princess.”

You slide off your bed and walk to the edge of bed. “Yes, of course.”

“Yes, thank you maester,” Alicent interjects quietly.

The maester bows and begins to walk to the door. Yet before he can reach it, a knock raps on the door.

“Come in,” you tell the visitor.

The door comes in and a knight stands outside. He bows his head to greet the three of you before sharing what he had to say. “Your Grace, Dowager Queen, Princess, the King has returned…” he trails off and nervously swallows thickly. “It’s urgent.”

You step forward and ask about the only person you care about. “Prince Aemond?” You ask.

The knight nods. “He’s riding behind the King’s carriage. They will arrive within the gates momentarily.”

Without bothering to even wonder why the knight was panicked about Aegon, you rush out of your chambers and quickly head down and past the gates to wait in the courtyard for Aemond.

Soon thereafter, a large carriage rolls in and bannermen run behind it. Other people also run to the carriage but you pay no mind to them, you just wait and watch as a second and smaller carriage rolls in.

You don’t even wait for it to stop, you just rush over to it with worry. And the moment the carriage stops the door opens and Aemond climbs out with his face unscathed, his blond-silver hair frizzy, his face covered with smoke, and his green cloak ripped and only hanging from one side.

“Aemond,” you gasp with relief before you throw your arms around him.

Said man wraps his arms around your body and you pull him close, noticing his armor is also covered with smoke from battle.

Hopefully, he was only battling men on the ground…

“Are you unharmed?” You ask him and pull back to study him and check for any wounds.

“Yes, I’m all right,” he assures you.

You blink and try to meet his gaze, but his eyes are behind you. You follow his line of gaze and see men carrying down…Aegon—that beaten body wrapped with bandages on half of his body is Aegon.

No…

“What happened?” You ask as you watch how his mother has him rushed inside so the grand maester can help him.

Aemond stays quiet, so you look at him again and press him to know. You’re too curious. “Aemond?”

Said man slowly meets your gaze and sighs. “Aegon has broken ribs, a broken hip and half of his body was burnt in battle… so much so that the armor on his left arm melted onto his skin.”

And he’s still alive? Gods.

He can die for all you care.

“You,” you press again and slide your hands down to his arms. “Tell me the truth.”

Aemond nods. “I'm fine. Vhagar protected me.”

You smile at him in relief and sigh. “Good. Good. When you’ve been released from all those meetings I assume you’ll have now, I have to tell you something. Some happy news amongst all th…” you trail off as you spot a wagon being rolled in.

“Y/N,” Aemond mutters and takes your hand. “Let’s head inside.” He pulls you with him, but you dig your heels in the ground as you notice that what’s being brought in is the head of The Red Queen, the dragon Meleys. Your grandmothers dragon.

“No,” you mouth immediately as you feel your heart drop to your stomach at the ill feeling that hits you. “Meleys.” You snap your eyes to Aemond and look at him with worry and denial. “My grandmother was there? Did you bring her too?”

Maybe they killed her dragon and captured her?

Aemond averts his gaze and swallows thickly, giving you the answer without having to say it right away.

“No,” you mewl and let him go. “No.”

“Sunfyre managed to…”

“No,” you cry out with grief knowing exactly what he was going to say. Your grandmother, the reason why Meleys’ head is here is because she’s gone.

“No,” you mutter again and break away from him to run over to the dragon's head since that’s the closest thing you had to actually being with her. “No, no, no!”

The men make the horses stop moving as you throw yourself over the snout, as you begin to cry against it like if it’s your grandmother herself.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper. “I’m sorry.” You sniffle. “I should’ve been there. I’m sorry.”

First Lucerys, now her too. You couldn’t help her either, like you couldn’t help Lucerys. Your grandmother is gone and you couldn’t even say goodbye, you didn’t say goodbye because you were angry at a man that wasn’t even there.

“Princess, all this stress is not good for the baby’s, please,” the maester who had helped you before tries to pull you away, but you snatch your arm away and continue to cradle the dragon head.

“Please, I’m sorry,” you sob to a person you won’t even see anymore. “Please, grandmother.”

“Y/N, my love,” Aemond whispers by your ear as he wraps his arm around you and slowly pulls you back. “Let’s get inside, please.”

You don’t fight him, he was a comfort in all the pain grief returns to your already aching heart. You let him walk you inside the Red Keep, you let him and Vanessa help you back to your quarters as all you can think about is your grandmother, what Baela and Rhaena must feel, the heartbreak your grandfather must feel. You wish you could be with them now and feel their own comfort as you grieve her.

You hardly think of your pain, or what it can cause the twins, you’re numb to it all, absent from the time continuing around you. You don’t even notice when you get in your quarters, when Aemond is whisked away by the Hand, you don’t even know how you’re conscious, or just simply living.

It’s not until you feel a wet cloth get dabbed on your face that it seems like you wake up.

“I warned them,” you say hoarsely as you register Vanessa trying to wipe the tears off your face. “I told them it was going to be a trap. And they got the message…you saw it right? The dragon glass they sent back as a secret signal.” You direct at Vanessa desperately.

Your handmaiden's dark eyes meet yours and a pitiful frown tugs on her face as she nods in agreement. “Yes. I saw it.”

You nod slowly and let out a shaky sigh. “They got it and they still sent my grandmother. She’s dead now…after I warned them!” You cry.

Vanessa puts the cloth down on the vanity surface and crouches down to meet your gaze at the level you are. “Perhaps it was their choice to go help. They possibly didn’t want to leave their ally helpless and tried to help regardless.”

You swallow thickly and find some sense in what she tries to tell you, but so many other possibilities still form in your head.

“You warned them,” she adds and picks up the cloth again. “They received the note. That’s all that matters now, all right?”

You let out a shaky breath and nod softly. Vanessa smiles softly and continues to help you get ready for what may come now that Aegon came back injured.

“Look,” she says and puts down a ring. “The jeweler finally made the orange pearl Ser Jason gave you into a ring.”

You pick up the gold ring that holds the beautiful orange pearl, and admire the twisted band that holds the pearl in the middle of the band. “He did an amazing job. It’s beautiful,” you muse while you put the ring on your right middle finger and admire the flame-like pearl.

“Almost as beautiful as the man himself,” Vanessa tries to lift your spirits as she moves back to fix your white-silver hair.

“Vanessa,” you giggle.

Said woman laughs quietly before she shares a quiet comment. “I swear he must be part Targaryen like yourself, he’s too beautiful to be just from Westeros.”

You scoff. “Wouldn’t that be a surprise?”

She hums in agreement, and as she does the door opens slowly, making her smile die as Aemond walks in with Aerion.

“Aemond,” you greet and look at your boys through the mirror. “Aerion.”

The baby squeals as he sees you, and you also hear his little feet kick the armor his father still has on.

“The maester says that Aegon will he bedridden for a couple months, 7 or more,” Aemond announces right away. And you know exactly what that means, if the King can’t rule his kingdoms the next in line rules for him, in this instance that’s…Aemond.

Besides, the fact that he will probably stay out of battles now, you also can’t help but feel pride over the fact that he will be regent. He deserves it, sure you prefer your mother on that throne, but that can’t be done right now, and if you had to pick between Aemond and Aegon, it would be Aemond everytime.

He’s much smarter, he’s studied, he’s a warrior without having to use Vhagar, Aegon learned to use his sword but he never gave into his training like Aemond or your brothers. So by all accounts Aemond deserves the crown and the title. Plus Aemond listens to you, you can use that, so it’s good Aegon got injured.

“You’ll be regent then?” You ask even if you know the answer.

Aemond hums in agreement.

You look back at Vanessa through the mirror, and she doesn’t need to be told verbally, she leaves your hair alone and then leaves you with Aemond and Aerion.

“I'm happy for you,” you direct at Aemond with a grin. “You deserve it. Sure the circumstances as to why you received this title are grieves, but there’s no one better than you.” You get up and walk over to him to steal a small but deep kiss.

Aemond cups your cheek and slides his hand down to cup your chin as he looks at you with a loving gaze. “I want to make you the Princess regent. Grief has taken too much from my sister, leaving her unable to perform her duties as Queen, and the realm needs a queen, why not have its Golden Girl?”

Control, more than you’ve had all your life? More abilities to help your mother in the shadows?

“Me?” You ask innocently. “But your council doesn’t trust me. They’d never let me.”

“I’ll be regent now, I’ll be their commander in every aspect, you will sit beside me because that’s what I want,” he assures you confidently.

You grab his hand and beam at him. Albeit your smile falters as something comes to mind, something rather important you can’t help but share out of your own personal gain.

“You are strong Aemond, strong willed and are not easily swayed,” you swallow thickly and cup his hand with yours to press it against your chest. “But we know that's not all that matters. It’s your people, the crown is not stable if they aren’t. You either need them to love you, or fear you, there’s no in between. And I don’t want to lose you. So I ask you this now. What do you want?”

Aemond raises his chin and smirks at you. “Fear,” he says in a low and intimidating voice.

You shoot him a mischievous smirk. “All right,” you mutter smugly. “Let it be fear.”

Aemond grins at you and then leans in to kiss you, albeit the kiss doesn’t last no matter how much you currently desire one another because Aerion is still here.

“Come on,” you direct at Aerion with a happy smile. “Let’s go down to the Throne room, your father is going to be crowned.” You take Aerion and take him down with you to the Throne room where Ser Criston, the rest of the council, and other Lords and Ladies already await.

Since what needed to be done was already discussed there’s no need for arguments, the people bow and curtsy as Aemond walks down the aisle. When he reaches the bottom of the steps you give Aerion to Vanessa and go and take the conqueror's crown from Ser Criston.

When you look over and watch Aemond climb those steps, when you see him brush his fingers on the throne's armrest, you can’t help but begin to smile. The moment he sits on that throne you grin proudly, he almost looks like a king.

He’s still not the person you want on that throne, but you’re here now, you know how much he wanted this, so you’re happy for him either way. Which is why you step up the throne's mighty steps with the conqueror's crown in hand, and don’t hesitate to place it on his silver-blond head.

“It looks better on you then it ever did on him,” you whisper.

Aemond hums in agreement, and grabs your hand to place a kiss on your knuckles. “Stay here with me,” he says.

His request catches you by surprise, but you don’t argue, you keep your hand secured in his hold and turn slowly to face all the Lords, ladies and knights below.

“All hail Prince Aemond of House Targaryen!” Ser Criston announces to the hall. “Prince Regent and Protector of the Realm! And his lady wife...”

You gasp and quickly look at Aemond. He meets your gaze and smirks at you.

“…Princess Y/N of House Velaryon! Princess regent!”

Everyone bows and curtseys at the new rulers that will rule in their Queen and King’s stead. They show their respect not only to Aemond but to you too. Sure this respect is something you’re used to because of your title as Princess, but this is different, you’re Princess Regent, you hold more power than before and they respect it.

You want your mother as Queen, but this—seeing them bow to you as you stand beside the throne, you can’t help but like it.

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin

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