#as a side note this is. aside from my obvious biases
Note
What do you think eiffel was thinking about when he asked hera to destroy his and Pryce's memories during the finale? I was always so struck by his decision to self sacrifice but also (also!!) about the implications it has for either him intentionally inciting permanent harm on another person or that he doesnt consider permanent memory loss permanent harm?
i think what the show is trying to communicate about eiffel's decision is described best in hera's reasoning: "i don't need to beat you. no matter how much i want to, no matter how much you deserve it, it wouldn't change anything. what i need is to make sure that you're not going to hurt anyone else again. ever." it is enacting harm, but it's also preventative. how do you negotiate with people who have intentionally and systematically removed themselves from humanity, who don't even recognize your humanity? what's justified in preventing future harm? i think there is a meaningful difference in an action taken to protect others vs. one taken in retribution, even if retribution is justified.
i think there is also an angle from which you can consider his self-sacrifice another form of self-destruction. so much of eiffel's character arc comes back to the ways he tries to get away from himself, how much he doesn't want to be doug eiffel. all of the ways he fractures his identity, tells stories in the third person. how he distances himself, and how that's distanced him from the people he cares about, when all of the men in all of those stories are still doug eiffel. if you consider eiffel's memory loss a finality, then it reads as a fulfillment of that desire, and i just... don't think that's what the show is going for.
and then you have his survivor's guilt. "the driver's always fine." in boléro, he feels personally responsible for the people who died because of his unwillingness to harm anyone on purpose. i don't think that makes his choices wrong, and i think he's wrong to blame himself, but it's a factor worth considering. if on some level he might see harm as more justifiable if he is also the recipient of it.
i also think there's another perspective from which you could consider his decision a selfish one: he knows the implications this has for hera in particular, and the weight he's putting on her. she agrees to it, she understands, but even so. i think that is something they're going to have to work through at some point. eiffel may be making the call, but whatever harm is enacted, hera is the one pulling the trigger.
ultimately i think the approach that eiffel is still eiffel, or at least that he has the intent and capacity to be, makes the most sense thematically and tonally. i think seeing it that way serves as an continuation and final affirmation of what the show already says about identity, rather than introducing some new philosophical question. i think you can even make a case for restoring eiffel's memories post-canon as a natural extension of the show's exploration of self and his character arc in particular. i won't get too into that now because it's another discussion and i don't want to make this response unreadably long, but that is to say...
what was eiffel thinking? i don't feel like i can answer that conclusively. i'd be surprised if he could. it's brave, and self-sacrificing, it definitely saved them, and it was also selfish and self-destructive. i may not think eiffel's memory loss is necessarily final, but he did, in that moment, and that came with the full intent that the same would be true of pryce. it's complicated, and messy, and personally? i think pryce deserved worse. but it's not really about deserving either.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#asks#thank you soo much for asking this#and giving me a chance to ramble about it#i haven't really talked about eiffel's memory in a while and i've been meaning to write a more thorough deconstruction re:#my feelings there but. it's a complicated subject.#as a side note this is. aside from my obvious biases#this is another reason why i don't have a lot of patience for people who think pryce should've been treated differently#because if you accept eiffel is the same person who is still just as responsible for the harm he caused#which i think the show DOES unambiguously accept#then the same is true of pryce. whether she has the capacity to be better well#everyone does. she did before too. she just chose not to. and maybe she can choose differently#but the hephaestus crew and hera in particular have no obligations to her#in the same way the people eiffel hurt have every right not to forgive him if they don't want to but also. come on#what pryce has done is also. magnitudes worse. i think that's also inarguable.#and i think the same harm reduction/self-defense argument applies to cutter's death like#the show's morality is against INCITING harm but what about harm done to stop the people who are harming you?#people who absolutely WILL NOT stop otherwise?#it's complicated. there are no easy answers#and on another note i do think there's a lot about#the ways hera's sense of self and ability to return to earth with the others#is connected to the show establishing she isn't fundamentally different from the others#treating eiffel's brain in a more 'mechanical' fashion in the finale vs. hera's pivotal moments being the most tangible in the show#being seen and interacting with others physically#it's equalizing. i really believe the further into the show you get the more it establishes the ways hera is different are really just#differences of circumstance and the ways she's treated. and what she's internalized because of that treatmeant#and i find that really meaningful. anyway. this is such a tangent i'm sorry it's all connected#i start talking about one thing and i just keep going
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why I Dislike Huntl0w (in the show)
[Disclaimer]
This is not an attack on anyone who likes the ship. Someone having a different opinion doesn’t mean they have anything against you personally. Just block/filter the tag “huntl0w negative” if you’d like to avoid seeing me say anything negative about the ship, including this post.
For the record, I’m using a zero instead of the letter “o”, so that my posts don’t show up in the search results for the ship. Also, other people who dislike the ship are free to use the tag, if they want to.
Note: In this post I will only talk about how Hunter and Willow’s relationship is written in the show, and I will do my best to leave aside any personal biases or headcanons I have for these characters. I also won’t talk about fandom issues, like some people not tagging the ship - making it difficult to avoid, or getting upset with others for not shipping it, sometimes due to preferring another ship.
---
I admit that I never liked the ship to begin with, but I would be willing to tolerate it (in the show) if it was better written - and that’s if the ship is what the writers are even going for. Willow has shown zero interest so far. People also seem to forget that not all blushes are romantic, and that Hunter is very new to friendship and genuine affection and could just be flustered.
If the writers are building up to this being either a one-sided crush on Hunter’s end, or him misinterpreting his feelings, what I’m about to say doesn’t apply, and this could end up exploring something interesting, like how to healthily deal with rejection, or how to understand your feelings better. It’s also possible this is just a brief crush that won’t go anywhere and will quickly disappear.
But if this is setting them up to become a couple? This will be the only thing in the show I genuinely dislike. The writing in The Owl House is generally pretty good, so this would be a disappointment.
While yes, it’s likely that the relationship would be set up better if we had a full season 3, the writers knew that the show got cut, and if they don’t have enough time to properly set Hunter and Willow up as a couple, it should’ve been cut altogether. I don’t think one or both of them having romantic feelings for the other is important to the story we ended up with, or even contributes anything interesting to it - again, unless it’s one of the options I mentioned above.
Why Huntl0w Doesn’t Work:
To better explain why Huntl0w doesn’t work (in the show), I will compare it to Lumity and explain why that worked and was much better written.
Luz and Amity met in S1EP3 ‘I Was a Teenage Abomination’, it took a couple episodes for them to begin developing a friendship in S1EP7 ‘Lost In Language’, and they only got together in S2EP8 ‘Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door’
Their enemies to friends to lovers journey took 10 episodes (11 if you count the two moments in ‘The First Day’), and they spent a lot of time together on screen - and off screen as well - gradually building their relationship, and they also did it all in person. And they go to the same school, which helps them be around each other more.
In S2EP9 ‘Eclipse Lake’, which is right at the beginning of their romantic relationship, it’s mentioned that Amity tried to get Luz dissected a few months ago, and with other mentions of time passing in the show, we can get a general idea of how long it took for the relationship to develop in terms of time - it seems to be around a couple months.
Only in the next episode after the friendship was first established we got hints of Amity having a crush - and note that the one blush that can be interpreted as romantic happens close to the end, thus they spent more time together before the show began hinting at romance. Her feelings are gradually made more obvious, and eventually Luz begins to show signs of romantic feelings too. It took almost a season from Amity’s first blush to them getting together, and they spent a substantial amount of time developing their relationship.
I’d also like to point out that Luz wasn’t Amity’s first or only friend/healthy emotional connection. She used to be friends with Willow when they were younger - and they start fixing their relationship around the same time she develops romantic feelings for Luz, and she also now has a better relationship with her siblings, who - while still playfully teasing her - are now supportive.
Now, the first time Willow and Hunter met was in S2EP13 ‘Any Sport in a Storm’. From that point on, they have very little interaction on screen. They interact in only 4 episodes.
This is the only full episode they get to develop their dynamic. They did seem to text on Penstagram, but we’re only shown a very brief glimpse of it (and simply sending pics of palismen isn’t enough for a relationship), and they definitely didn’t see each other in person again until S2EP18 ‘Labyrinth Runners’, in which they only interacted briefly. Even in the two final episodes of the season, where they spend more time together, they barely interact.
They’re friends, and they care about each other, sure, but there’s very little to their relationship so far. Hunter has a stronger bond with Gus than her - they spend most of ‘Labyrinth Runners’ bonding, and they directly interact in the finale more as well.
The potential (one-sided) romantic hints are also very easy to miss. For example, the blush on Hunter at the end of ‘Any Sport in a Storm’ is barely even visible (I wouldn’t have noticed it/thought much of it without the fandom losing their minds over it), and the ones in ‘Labyrinth Runners’ didn’t register as anything potentially romantic to me without seeing people claim that it was. The one in ‘King’s Tide’ is the only one I picked up on as possibly being romantic-coded.
The blushes are also all we have. There aren’t any other changes in Hunter’s behavior that are specifically shown around Willow, which was not the case with Amity - her changes in behavior around Luz (like nervousness) were more apparent, and the blushes also became more frequent and noticeable as time went on. Even the way Gus blushed at Bria in S2EP5 ‘Through the Looking Glass Ruins’ was a more obvious crush than whatever Huntl0w has going for it, even if it was brief.
If the only hints at romance between Hunter and Willow are just blink and you’ll miss it blushes from Hunter, while they have barely any interaction on screen, needless to say, it’s not nearly enough buildup for them to become a couple, especially given that Willow hasn’t even shown any interest yet. And no, Willow not hitting him or being first to rush to the airship isn’t romantic, she would have done the same for any of her friends.
We have three 40-minute specials left, which is like 6 normal episodes. While their relationship will definitely be developed further during that time, I don’t think it will be enough to justify them becoming a couple. They’ve known each other for less than one Boiling Isles month (so around one human month), and they barely interacted during that time.
While it may seem like Huntl0w is taking only slightly less time than Lumity from the time they met to the potential beginning of a romantic relationship, it’s actually much less, once you look at how many episodes they interact in, and how much time they spend together on and off screen developing their relationship. And again, all the romantic hints so far are very easy to miss.
It’s also worth mentioning that Willow and Gus are Hunter’s first ever friends in his entire life, and his first healthy emotional connection (aside from Flapjack)
Hunter barely knows what a healthy friendship looks like, and to immediately turn one of his two friendships into a romance, when they barely even know each other? Why? Neither of these characters needed a romance arc - and, frankly, would do better without one - and yet it’s being shoved in, despite having very little ground to stand on and being completely unnecessary. (Also, neither character has shown any interest in romance prior to this)
Their relationship is rushed, poorly built up, and only works if you assume that desiring a romantic relationship is the default and something everyone should want and prefer over other types of relationships and should get into as soon as possible (aka amatonormativity), because any serious romantic feelings here have no basis. Again, they barely know each other, and have spent very little time together on and off screen.
The dynamic will be better off if it continues to develop as a friendship.
Other Issues:
Now, this was a singular instance, and it might remain so, but I still want to mention it:
Although everyone here is in danger, Hunter chooses to save Willow. You’d think Gus would make more sense, given that he’s an illusionist and also the youngest and smallest in the group (and the fist of Kiki’s Abomaton also hits exactly where he was standing a second ago), and yet, Hunter goes for Willow, who he knows is arguably the most powerful in the group, being both physically strong and a powerful plant witch, and the most likely to make it out fine. Despite all that, he literally carries her away.
This could just be a one-off instance, but it could also become a pattern, in which case, it’s the same problem as in ‘Labyrinth Runners’, with someone being overprotective of Willow and thinking she needs it, except this time instead of Amity it’s Hunter, and the reason is poorly written romance. It rubs me the wrong way that we now have another character being needlessly overprotective of her, especially this soon after the episode that addressed this exact problem.
Hunter is acting like Willow needs his protection when she doesn’t, and he’s prioritizing her over his other friends, who are at higher risk at that moment, for no other reason than his crush, which isn’t great either.
If the writers had to do the same thing that was shown as an issue in an earlier episode just to show how much Hunter ~loves~ Willow, it once again demonstrates how poorly this relationship is written. Willow’s wishes and her development shouldn’t be ignored or undercut in favor of romance.
[Edit: This came up twice in the replies, so I’d like to clarify that while the reason Hunter didn’t save Gus instead is likely so that he didn’t break the illusion or notice the spell circles too soon, this could’ve been achieved with everyone simply dodging in different directions. Hunter saving Willow wasn’t necessary, but the writers still made that choice]
I also think it’s a bad decision on the writers’ part to have a group of five that consists of two couples and one (not aroace) guy who’s single. While I’m not saying the others would “abandon” Gus if they all had partners, it’s still weird, and it kinda singles him out - pun not intended.
This is like what Winx had - where every main girl got a boyfriend, but in some way kinda worse, because here the romance is within the friend group and might overshadow the friendship, rather than simply existing alongside it, like it would if we only had one couple (Lumity) and the other three were all either single or dating someone from outside the group.
Given how romantic relationships in media and society as a whole get treated as superior to friendship - sometimes leagues above it - and also as a universal desire everyone has/should have (aka amatonormativity), this would be a problem, because whether intentionally or not, it could reinforce the idea that romance is necessary and/or inevitable (at least after a certain age, which is why 12y/o Gus is left out) by pairing up most of the main group.
Now, my last concern is that putting Hunter into a romantic relationship this soon after he escaped an extremely abusive environment, and is just now beginning to understand healthy relationships and heal, might come off as ~true love~ being used to “cure” his trauma, if it’s handled poorly, even if it’s not the intention. Given how little time there is left, adding a romantic relationship this late to a character like Hunter is not going to be handled properly. It’s better to just leave him single and not touch romance for now.
Final Thoughts:
Again, hopefully the writers aren’t going to make them a couple, and instead explore one of the options mentioned in the beginning, or this doesn’t go anywhere - this wouldn’t be much of an issue, given how easy it is to miss the blushes.
If you have other issues with Huntl0w, other than personal headcanons or preferring another ship, or you’d like to add to something I already said, feel free to add on.
#the owl house#toh hunter#hunter toh#hunter noceda#the golden guard#willow park#huntl0w negative#aroacespec hunter#aroace willow#aroace willow park#aro willow#aromantic willow#(revealing my hcs i guess)#aroace hunter#this one's not my personal hc but i respect it#and idk maybe the people who have that hc might agree with this post#so i'll add that too
274 notes
·
View notes
Note
If you collect all the reasons why you like rivamika?
Thank you for your question, Anon 😉
I hope there won't be too many spelling mistakes!
[MANGA SPOILER]
.
.
Make me like Levi.
Perhaps an original reason but a Rivamika scene made me like Levi. Yeah… when I started AOT, I didn't do shipping and I didn't like Levi. For me, he was just another badass character, cold, who did not express any emotion. Typical shonen character, seen and reviewed. How boring.
Then, I bought AOT volumes in colossal edition and I reread the manga. (side note : The colossal edition is super cool because the panels are obviously bigger and the paper is smoother and whiter, I find this edition more qualitative so I recommend!) So, I reach the chapter 30, the first real interaction between Levi and Mikasa and I see this panels in a very big format :
I can't really explain it well, but something clicked in me when I finally saw some real expressions on Levi's face. From that moment I got interested in him and started to like him, then discover that contrary to what I thought at the beginning Levi was a character with an interesting psyche and background. (Although I think it's a pity that Isayama didn't exploit it further… But it' s also the manga format that wants that, it's more limited than a novel.) He's a gray character who can be capable of committing heroic acts as well as terrible and even vicious things. He's a character that is very interesting to analyze and to write about. In the end, he became my favorite.
Levi's discreet interest in Mikasa.
I like how Mikasa managed to pique Levi's interest. I always found that sometimes she was ignored or put aside by her own friends so I really appreciate the fact that someone paid attention to her and is concerned about her.
Then, there are his stares on Mikasa and speechless!Levi :
Levi wants to give meaning to all the sacrifices that have been made. Without it, all the people he lost will have died for nothing. It's personal but at the same time it gives him a selfless side, which closes him off a bit in a rather heroic character despite his flaws and his darkness. So it gives me the impression that we are dealing with "Captain Levi" most of the time, a closed person who is only interested in what might serve his noble cause. But his interest in Mikasa, although it's a bit professional, also seems rather personal, an interest he has as just Levi, as a person.
And, with Mikasa, Levi seems to be more reserved and hesitant, which deepens his character and makes him more approachable than an always charismatic and confident "Captain Levi".
The evolution of Mikasa : from hostility to trust and care.
Mikasa with Levi goes from this :
to this :
Mikasa doesn't like Levi at first, at least not since the court. But as time goes by, there is a real evolution of her opinion about him. Even though she still holds a small grudge against him, I still feel that she realizes that he isn't as bad and evil as she thought. She saw the "bad" sides of Levi first but ends up seeing his good sides later. She learns to respect him, follow his orders and trust him.
There is a real positive development that has been done (although in my opinion it has not been sufficiently exploited) and which shows that Mikasa is capable of questioning herself and revising her opinion.
Their interactions with each other.
Their interactions are really nice to see and read. They're both my favorite characters and I ship them together so of course I love the scenes they have together and I probably have a biased view because of that but… I still feel that there is a kind of special atmosphere between them. I can't put words to it, but it's like there's something deep and latent. It's more obvious in the manga, but there's almost always a game of looks between them :
⬆ Here, I really like the focus that tightens on Mikasa's eyes.
⬆ The way Mikasa turns her eyes on Levi… the way there is once again a tight focus on her eyes gives it a more intensity/meaning to them. And Levi seems to turn his away as if he's uncomfortable with it whereas he's usually the first to stare at people…
⬆ This page is simply amazing. No text, just looks. I don't know what Isayama wanted to show here, but I feel like Levi see Mikasa's distress and is surprised and confused? I would really like to know what Levi is thinking at that moment. Because right before the frame on Levi's eyes, there is Mikasa's face from his perspective. So I think I'm being reasonable in saying that it's more Mikasa's expression and tears than the fact that she draws her sword that surprises him. I think it might be because he is surprised that Mikasa cared about someone else than Eren to the point of drawing her blade?
⬇ And it's during one of their interactions that we learn a little more about each other :
So I find that this mix adds a certain personal dimension and intimacy to their interactions.
Their dynamic.
He is Humanity's Strongest Soldier. She is the Woman Who Worth Hundred Soldiers. So if they team up, we have the right to have high expectations. And they don't disappoint. They have a confidence in each other's abilities that allows them to fight on their own without having to worry about the other, but ready to intervene for the other if necessary. Even though it wasn't shown much, they can really ally themselves and synchronize like in the uprising arc and especially at the very end, against Eren. Alone, they are strong. Together, they look unstoppable.
I liked when Mikasa was kind of Levi's right-hand soldier. I think it suits her, I would have liked to see her more in this role. It would have allowed her to learn the importance of responsibility, to put forward other of her qualities than her fighting skills. Mikasa is smart, works well and I think she knows how to anticipate the needs of others. And not being afraid of Levi, she could have told him when he was too harsh but at the same time "defend" him to her comrades because she is the one more able to understand and accept the drastic orders that Levi can give. A conciliatory role to improve understanding and cohesion between Levi and his squad. We saw all of this in the uprising arc, admittedly rather superficially, but I really enjoyed it.
I also find that Levi and Mikasa have a bit of a "Mentor and Protégée" dynamic. I always thought that Levi was trying to pass on/teach something to Mikasa. In the forest of giant trees, he tells her to not lose sight of their objective, unless satisfying her own desires overrides that. Later, he tells her to control her emotions for not mess up again. In the Uprising Arc (manga), he orders her to kill the enemies when she can, it may be an order but it’s mostly a survival advice, I think. In Season 3 part 1, he tells her that humans will also be their enemies and asks her to pass on the message to her comrades, he warns her and her friends by saying this. He asks her to calm down a few times and explains quickly why rushing is not the right thing to do.
But beyond the dynamics of "Superior and subordinate" and "Mentor and Protégée" which are professional. Levi and Mikasa also have in my eyes a certain dynamic on a more personal level : Levi see Mikasa for what she is not more not less. Although he is aware of her abilities, he doesn't mystify or belittle her. Besides, Mikasa seems more natural and herself with Levi than with the others. She has no filter, she isn't afraid to say and do what she really thinks. I find that she has a freedom with him that she doesn't have with anyone else.
As for Levi, he is still himself, Mikasa or not. However I find that he picks up in his rough way of talking when she is around surely because she tends to react. He takes his time more when he speaks to her as if he is uncertain and hesitant when usually he is very direct. To be honest, I don't know if it's because there's something about Mikasa that really makes him unsure or if it's because he knows that she's reluctant towards him and if he doesn't tone down his harshness the message won't get through as well as with the others.
There has always been an honesty between them that makes their dynamic natural, balanced and doesn't feel forced. We go from a somewhat reluctant association (on Mikasa's side) to a functional team. Obviously, it's not always perfect, but it only makes their dynamic more realistic. They don't always agree, but they talk about it, argue, try to make the other see their point of view. They are honest with each other, not afraid to tell the truth to each other and this is a good thing for me.
Rivamika is also a ship that is eligible for the romantic dynamic of "the man who looks at the girl from afar, not letting his feelings get in the way of her happiness and the girl who is in denial and not wanting to acknowledge her feelings for X reasons (bad love history, blind love for someone else)". For example, I have in mind this scene from "No string attached" for the dynamic I'm talking about (starting at 50 seconds for what I want to explain) :
youtube
It's not for the dialogue or for the characters' personality that I give this scene as an example, although "I don't need you to take care of me. I take care of myself. That's what I do." fits pretty well for a line from Mikasa to Levi (and I will pay good money to see and hear Levi tell Mikasa that she fights like a hamster!) However, it's more about the idea of the confident guy and the girl in denial… The way the girl's first instinct is to lash out at the guy and, him, just stays chill, ironic, cynical... Familiar, isn't it?
They could be beneficial to each other.
Maybe that's why I shipped them together in the first place. I really think they could have been beneficial to each other.
Levi has suffered a lot. I feel sorry for him when I started to like him so I wished he had someone to really care for him. And Mikasa takes care of others, sometimes in a rough way but she also knows how to show an incredible sweetness. And it's some of that sweetness that I want for Levi.
There is also the fact that I think Levi feels apart and I believe that Mikasa can really understand him because they share certain personality traits, have certain events in their past that are similar. Levi could find an understanding and compassion from Mikasa that he cannot find from anyone else.
Mikasa seems a bit lonely too. Not like Levi seem to be, I have the impression that she's sometimes put aside by the others without them doing it intentionally and she tend to self-effacing too. But Levi, when she speaks, he listens and don't interrupt her... I think that he could give her the right attention and respect she needs to be more confident. (Yes, for me Mikasa lacks confidence in herself, that's the reason why she believes so easily Eren when he says he hates her, it's not a lack of trust in Eren but in herself.)
And as they remain two individuals, with two different personalities despite some common points, they sometimes have disagreements as we have already seen in the manga. But this is not necessarily a bad thing. It allow them to question themselves and to evolve individually in a positive way.
Rivamika is bold.
Rivamika or any other ship than Eremika would have been more audacious, "artistically" speaking. Main characters who love each other romantically? Super original, we never saw that… I've always hoped Isayama would go beyond the standard in this matter (He did it a bit by killing Eren before he could be with Mikasa, I admit.). I was hoping he wouldn't make a romance between Eren and Mikasa, because I wanted something different and original, to show other kind of love than the romantic one. To show that people can be very important without it being romantic, it would have been more and really interesting... too bad.
But at the same time and to be honest, I like AOT as it is, I accept Eremika and understand what it brings to the story. I didn't read the manga for the romance but for the universe, the suspense, the survival story, the characters…etc. But I also see Isayama's work as an incredible support for the imagination, a nice base, good characters with which we can invent, build or deepen the relationships between them.
I am aware that Rivamika is also controversial. This is also why I say Rivamika is bold. It's a ship that has negative labels so it should be handled with caution. But there is nothing that is really an obstacle, if you think about it a little, nothing that can't be swept away with logic, facts and an open mind, but above all a distance to have when it comes to fictional characters in a fictional story, in a world that is not ours and in a time apparently prior to ours. (I won't debate it here because it's not the subject and I will only make an already long post heavier. If you are interested in my opinion, ask and I will try to make a post dedicated to this subject.)
Rivamika is the ship that inspires me the most to read or write about the development of a relationship. There is a real potential to exploit, a story to tell with twists and stakes.
They look good together.
Yes, I know it's a superficial reason, but I can't help but find that there's a certain flow that comes off of them when I see them together. It's a matter of taste.
Here are some examples to illustrate what I mean :
Manga :
Anime :
Official Art :
Fanart :
Fanart by PNR Phit chan
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Liyue storyline is a slog for me, so I’m going to record my thoughts act by act.
tbh this is mostly because I am biased against Liyue and because I just really cannot deal with the contrived plot direction. The actual quest is quite short and progresses quickly.
However, the sloppiness of the way they force this plot is quite inexcusable. They don’t even try to explain why you inexplicably decide to make yourself suspect #1 by running or why you want to see Morax’s corpse. The plot needs you to do these things, so you do them, which is just painful to play through. I don’t recall this kind of issue being so obvious in Inazuma or Sumeru, so I really do wonder what happened here.
Aside from that, there isn’t too much of note. What stands out to me is probably the current handling of the adepti and the Qixing.
It’s repeatedly pointed out that the Qixing are acting suspiciously. A good part of it comes from Childe, who is obviously a Fatui with his own agenda, but the Traveler agrees with his reasoning, and the adepti say so too. Knowing that this doesn’t pan out in any way, shape or form makes this red herring vaguely annoying.
For the adepti, they are portrayed as more inflexible and inhuman than I had remembered. We are given special treatment because we hold a sigil of permission, but keep in mind these are just pieces of paper. They can and do easily change hands. One ends up in the hands of a corrupt teahouse owner and is then confiscated by Childe. A Fatui could show up in Jueyun with one of these and the adepti would side with them over the Millelith... quite literally. Moon Carver supports us in beating up a bunch of Millelith soldiers pursuing a criminal (us) BEFORE he hears us out. We could be literally anyone, but just having a sigil of permission, which could be stolen or any other means of acquisition, on our person is enough for him to forego any, like, human logic or common sense.
The others are fairly similar in that they do not operate on human logic and have no appreciation for human customs. Mountain Shaper lets a thief get trapped in amber and it’s unclear if he’d release him at all, which comes across as quite... something, given the graverobbing we do later for Ningguang’s Jade Chamber and that time Kazuha just stole a music instrument for laughs. Some theft is okay, some is not, take a guess which is which.
They’re also extremely lowkey about their boss and friend of thousands of years being dead. The degree of under-reaction is kind of bizarre because they’re all like that. Xiao in particular comes across as quite... weird about it. It’s not even restrained emotion, they just go “can’t believe that happened, what were the guards doing? the disrespect.”
(Xiao’s section is the funniest in the general because the Millelith arrive in Jueyun Karst immediately after us, but no one has relayed the murder news and our status as a wanted fugitive to Wangshu Inn yet?)
It does make the first act feel very hollow and mechanical, on top of also being so stupidly motivated.
1 note
·
View note
Text
After some thinking, a conversation with my sister-in-law with a psych degree, and a couple of sessions with my godsend of a therapist, I think I've finally put my finger on the thing about Mobius that Loki (and a lot of the fandom tbh) so quickly latched onto like a man dying of thirst at the first sign of water:
Unconditional positive regard.
This concept is at the core of client-centered psychology and basically is a stance that a therapist will take in relation to their client, where they simply accept and support their client as a person, regardless of what they do or say.
My therapist uses this framework with me, and when the Loki series came out, I immediately saw Mobius and was like "holy crap, this man has the exact same energy as Sami what???" And I couldn't for the life of me figure out why until I was talking about it with my sister-in-law and she mentioned unconditional positive regard. And then it clicked.
Mobius radiates unconditional positive regard from the minute he meets Loki in episode 1, and arguably even from the first time we even see him onscreen. He approaches everyone he interacts with using a basic framework of "I see you and care about you as a person, and nothing you do or say can change that," so we immediately get the impression that this man is soft, kind, and shaped like a friend. However, it's most obvious and pointed in his interactions with Loki.
While yes, Mobius' primary objective in episode 1 is to interrogate Loki, it's important to note that it's not an interrogation where Mobius is trying to find proof of guilt for a crime like we'd see in a typical detective procedural. Rather, Mobius is trying to see if this variant of Loki is self aware enough to be able to help him in his hunt for Sylvie. It's fundamentally a test to find out Loki's current place in his emotional and psychological development. It is not maliciously intended, and it is not designed to harm Loki. On the contrary, the intent is clearly to help Loki begin to come to terms with the reality of who he is and the choices he has made.
In fact, the whole time this is happening, Mobius very purposefully strives to foster an environment where Loki knows that A.) Mobius sees him. Truly sees and knows him. B.) Despite knowing what Loki is and what he's done, Mobius loves him and regards him positively, and C.) nothing Loki can do or say will change that positive regard.
Loki, however, is super not used to receiving unconditional positive regard. He has no idea how to respond to it. He feels like it's a trick, like there's another shoe just waiting to drop. I related to him hardcore in this scene because that's exactly how I felt when my therapist presented me with unconditional positive regard for the first time. It's confusing and strange and difficult to believe at first. Especially because it sets the stage for honest self reflection and personal growth that can be incredibly painful.
Loki is not a perfectly innocent person. He has done a lot of really bad things and hurt a lot of people in his life. He has a lot of very deep seated trauma that has informed these actions, but he still made those choices and he needs to take responsibility for them. This is not a fun process. Mobius knows this is actually a really awful, sucky process. But he also knows that change and growth requires two things: acknowledgement that a change needs to be made and the expectation that change can and will occur when properly cultivated. Mobius clearly laying out the reality of Loki's actions and who he is in the Sacred Timeline is the first part of that equation, and his unflappable, unconditional positive regard towards Loki as a person despite knowing that reality cultivates an environment for the second part to flourish.
"By definition, it is essential in any helping relationship to have an anticipation for change. In the counseling relationship, that anticipation presents as Hope—an optimism that something good and positive will develop to bring about constructive change in the client's personality. Thus, unconditional positive regard means that the therapist has and shows overall acceptance of the client by setting aside their own personal opinions and biases. The main factor in unconditional positive regard is the ability to isolate behaviors from the person who displays them." (source)
Mobius is not Loki's therapist, but he does take on a therapeutic role in Loki's life. He shows Loki that he is fully aware of all of Loki's faults and mistakes. He's seen them over and over again and knows them by heart because it's his job. And in the face of all of that he looks at Loki and says that he doesn't see him as a villain. That he likes him anyway and believes that Loki has the potential to help him and what he believes is the cause of good. (Yes the TVA is corrupt, but neither of them know that at this point, and the fact that both Mobius and Loki believe this to be the side of good to varying degrees is important here)
Mobius maintains this regard throughout the series and his subsequent interactions with Loki and when talking about Loki to Ravonna and others, and it's a big part of why Loki so quickly trusts and feels comfortable around Mobius. I know some people say it's unrealistic how fast it was, but it made a lot of sense just based on my experience. I mean, after one (1) session with my therapist, I was 100% ride or die for him, and it was kind of absurd. But the feeling of being seen like that is so potent when you're starved for it, that extreme reactions to it make a lot of sense. And if anyone's starved for unconditional positive regard, it's Loki.
Mobius is only human though, and he's not perfect at this. Over the course of the series, it's clear that Mobius has emotionally invested a lot in his Loki, and he struggles to maintain a professional distance, though he usually is able to keep his head enough to give Loki that positive regard he needs. The only time we see this regard slip is in episode 4 when Mobius is feeling betrayed and jealous. In these moments, Mobius is unable to step back from his feelings enough to get into a headspace where he can separate Loki's actions from who he is. He calls Loki an asshole and a bad friend, and it comes from a place of hurt and jealousy. It's also what drives Loki into a defensive mode we haven't seen since episode 1. He's no longer receiving that unconditional positive regard from Mobius and he feels betrayed. He worries that maybe it was all an act in the first place and Mobius never really cared for him at all. For the first time, Loki feels like Mobius doesn't see the best in him anymore and it hurts.
Mobius' unconditional positive regard was genuine, though, and this is reinforced in the subsequent scenes where we see him act on his instinctual desire to assume the best of Loki and investigate his claims. We see it again when he returns to Loki and he reaffirms both his desire to trust Loki and his belief that Loki can be "whoever, whatever he wants to be, even someone good." At this point, Loki is able to accept it and no longer pushes back against Mobius' belief in Loki's goodness and that he "has within himself vast resources for self-understanding, for altering his self-concept, attitudes, and self-directed behavior." He's grown and begun to see himself in a more realistic and positive light and it's a direct result of the time Mobius has spent cultivating that relationship based on unconditional positive regard.
That's why their relationship feels so comfortable and satisfying. Unconditional positive regard isn't only a therapy principle. It's something everyone craves in a relationship. To be seen as you are, flaws and mistakes and quirks and all is terrifying and mortifying, but when that person then just smiles and says I love you anyway because you are not your mistakes and you are not your flaws and nothing you can ever do or say can change how I feel about you, the relief and joy and comfort is more than worth the discomfort. So I think the idea that Mobius can look at someone as deeply flawed, broken, and jaded as Loki and love him exactly as he is right there and then, eyes wide open and smiling, believing that beneath it all Loki has the potential to be good, gives us hope that someone could do the same for us. I know that's what Lokius does for me, at least. Mobius represents to me the ideal of unconditional positive regard, and having an image of what that looks like in the character of Mobius gives us the opportunity to apply it to ourselves when we may not get it elsewhere in our lives. And I, for one, think that's very sexy of him.
#lokius#wowki#loki#mobius#loki x mobius#mobius my beloved#He is my comfort character and this is why#Also this is low key homework from my therapist bc my attachment to this man has become a literal tool in my therapist's belt#And it's both excellent and embarrassing lmaoooooo
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Writing Tip!
An easy way to tell if you’re showing instead of telling is how much you’re using is/was. My English professor explained this to me a few semesters ago, and while he just wanted varied sentence structure in my papers, it also works very well for creative writing.
This isn’t to say that is and was are bad verbs, but rather that they are very basic and do not express anything beyond the fact that something exists. Sometimes, that’s all you need to know in a sentence, but often, the writer can make the story or the characters more engaging by explaining who someone is, what something is, where something is, when something is, why something is, or how something or someone is more powerfully by using one of a few tactics.
The first method is to use strong verbs. “Strong verbs” is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but a strong verb is simply a verb that explains what action is happening as clearly as possibly. For instance, when one “jumps” off the diving board, the reader doesn’t know how the person jumped, but the reader will be able to more clearly see the action if you write “she dove” or “he cannonballed” or “she belly-flopped.” Be aware of who is reading your writing and who the narrator is. In general, if your target demographic probably doesn’t know the word or if your narrator wouldn’t know the word, use a simpler, less precise verb and use adverbs to make it specific.
Another way is to show why the narrator was saying “it is/she was/there is” in the first place. Think of the is/was statement as the disease. You want your reader to guess the disease, so you start describing symptoms. For instance, “She is mourning her husband.” vs. “She stared at the empty seat at the table, unfazed by her mother’s repeated attempts to get her attention.” This way is more rambly than just swapping boring verbs for strong verbs, but it is a good way to show the narrator’s experience in life, the narrator’s biases, the narrator’s emotional state, etc.
One other way is to make the object of the sentence the subject instead. This just means that whatever “is/was” is now what the sentence is about. This is a simple fix in cases when the object is doing something in the sentence. Instead of “There was a ball rolling past her feet.” write “A ball rolled past her feet.”
Let me illustrate:
How you can use varied word choice to show who is being talked about:
Bland: Jason’s dad was standing in front of Jason.
Engaging: His dad loomed over him.
By using a stronger verb, the more hostile loomed, the reader gets a better idea of who Jason’s dad is and how Jason feels about him.
How you can use varied word choice to show who is talking:
Bland: Macy was sitting at the edge of her seat.
Engaging: Macy balanced very carefully at the very edge of the seat so her feet could touch the floor, because Macy was a very big girl now.
The POV character is a young girl at an age where she wants to be perceived as older than the height of chair legs and the lack of height of her own legs will let her be. She also refers unironically to herself as a big girl in her own thoughts, something grownups generally do not do. By expanding on the reason for the action instead of the action itself and with careful word choice, you can set the tone of the character and of the story.
How you can use varied word choice to show what something is:
Bland: That is a tree branch blowing against the window.
Still bland but better: A tree branch blew against the window.
Engaging: The branch smacked against the window.
This is an example of taking the object (the thing in the sentence that the verb is happening to) in this case “branch” and make it the subject. In the still bland but better version of the sentence, the fact that the tree branch is blowing against the window is obvious, but that doesn’t tell us anything about how the narrator feels about what the tree branch is doing. That tells us what, but it does not tell us what the character feels about this thing. Smacked is a more violent, sudden, startling verb that communicates suddenness, surprise, and unease.
How you can use varied word choice to show where something is:
Bland: The phone was on the far side of the nightstand.
Engaging: She flopped an arm blindly across the nightstand, but her fingers hit empty air just shy of the faint glow of her phone.
The engaging version of this sentence tells you more about the character’s mental state, fatigued, while also communicating where the phone is. Also, using a more descriptive word like flopped gives the reader a clearer mental image of what is physically happening in the scene.
How you can use varied word choice to show when something is set:
Bland: It was the early two thousands.
Engaging: Jana looked around the room and saw many a teenage male heinie, but not a belt among them.
Noting fashion trends, like sagging pants or hoop skirts, can reinforce the time period that you’re writing in and how the narrator fits or does not fit into that time period.
How you can use varied word choice to show when (what time) something is:
Bland: It was seven P.M. on a summer night.
Engaging: He watched the sun dip below the far reaches of the ocean as he wiped the sweat from his brow.
The engaging version of this sentence uses a few details to show about what time and when in the year this sentence takes place: it is sunset, so the exact time isn’t stated, but the rough time is implied; the ocean does exist at times of the year when humans aren’t on it as much (and here I though the entire state of Hawaii disappeared between September and April) but most readers will associate the beach with summer; and if the reader didn’t get the clue about the traditionally seasonal location, it is hot enough to make the main character sweat.
How you can use varied word choice to show why the narrator believes something:
Bland: Kai is a good friend.
Engaging: Kai held her hair away from her face as she threw up into the toilet bowl for the fourth time that night.
Anyone can say anything about anyone else, but the best way to get a reader to like a character, an idea, or a thing is to show them why they should like that thing. Instead of making bland moral claims like “Love is stronger than hate.” tell me how the Samaritan stopped to save the Jew, or how the enemies put aside their differences to protect what they care about. Instead of saying “He was scared of his dad.” show me the beer cans and the slurred speech, show me the belt falling and the voice yelling. Show the reader why.
How you can use varied word choice to show how something is:
Bland: The woman was looking at him.
Engaging: The woman ogled him.
Strong verbs again! Use strong verbs that are emotionally charged when you’re talking about emotionally charged situations! Being ogled is an uncomfortable sensation for the person being ogled, and it also shows disrespect on the part of the person ogling.
Keep in mind that these are guidelines! Sometimes is is the best word for the job, and don’t stress if you have a lot of is/was in your stories. Just because they’re bland doesn’t mean that sometimes you need bland verbs to communicate what you want to communicate. Still, you don’t want vagueness to be your crutch, either. Practice showing instead of telling when showing is more important, but have fun with it! Besides, you can always edit whatever you hate or are unsure of now sometime later.
Don’t sweat! Go write awesome papers and stories!
#writing advice#writing community#creative writing#school#school hacks#writing prose#writing problems#writing tips#author#Fanfic writer
791 notes
·
View notes
Text
songs about toxic people 7*
Sanzu Haruchiyo X Reader
Summary: In which you are Bonten’s No. 2 and Sanzu is No. 3. Almost ten years of being stuck working together means you’re both bound to pick up on each other’s idiosyncrasies, yeah?
—
*IMPORTANT NOTE: this is more like an interlude/bonus chapter actually centering more on misc bonten x reader Gen! interactions. it still ties in with the whole story, it’s just there’s less to zero sanzu in this one cus the focus will be more on the other bonten haha, so if you’re here exclusively for sanzu x reader, you may skip this if you like! 😬
it’s just i got these headcanons that idk what to do with and also they are somewhat short 😭
—
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6
chapter 7: We may not be a perfect family but we love each other (until we don’t) - koko
.
.
Koko thinks of cats when he thinks of you; partly from the circumstances of your first meeting, partly ‘cause of the way you sort of simply glide in and out of rooms quietly with the stealth and fluidity of one.
(Although Sanzu had insisted he thought more of ghosts and wraiths, a comment which Koko only made light of even though he wasn’t wrong.)
She even kinda fights like a feline, he’d told Inupi one time all those years ago, as he thought of the way your lithe and minimal movements were always able to take bigger guys down along with the quiet ferocity to match.
Maybe she learns from all the cats back in the shrine, Inupi responded—a joke, essentially, in his own terms. Koko suppressed a smile: cat and dog, you and her, maybe that’s why you two get along so well went his own, sad attempt at humor, because you and your second-in-command were obviously very close and very unlike cats and dogs. The joke, however, sadly did not seem to land, and Inupi’s forehead only creased, his expression dumbfounded.
That’s not how it works.
Koko never forgets the day you were first introduced by Mikey. It’s at the back of Toman’s abandoned shrine, at the edge of the thick forest surrounding the area, that their new leader had said they’ll be meeting Black Dragon’s temporary captain. He never specified what anyone would be doing in the forest at this hour in the afternoon, and neither him nor Inupi had asked, but then there you were: in your bare feet and in your school uniform, attempting to move a big pot of plant from one spot of land to another, your expression almost annoyed. (At the pot, most likely, which did not seem to budge.)
Mikey called your attention still a few meters afar:
“Hey. Whatcha up to—”
in a tone that very clearly did not seem to intend to place whatever you were up to above this particular Toman business at the moment, so really, it would not have made any difference whether you answered or not. Which you didn’t, only glancing at your president once—not with the angry expression, at least—before continuing with your ordeal.
The pot nudged just a tiny bit.
Only when Mikey finally stopped right in front of you and you noticed Koko’s and Inupi’s figures behind him did you finally stand straight, looking at Mikey quizzically. “What’s up?” Quick nods to Inupi and him. “Hello.”
Mikey briefly introduced all of you and proceeded to explain that you were to be formally placed as the Black Dragon’s new captain today, to which your eyes slightly widened.
“Oh, I thought you said tomorrow.”
Mikey hesitated at first but then shrugged. “Hm, they came here already today so I thought might as well. Come on, it’ll be quick.”
You narrowed your eyes at him and then to his two quiet companions but then so agreed anyway, and as Mikey ushered you in front nobody else aside from Koko seemed to notice your lack of shoes. You’d only taken a few steps ahead when you tugged at the sleeve of Mikey’s coat, making him pause.
“I don’t have my Toman jacket,” which was obvious but was not what Koko was expecting for you to say, if he were to be honest.
Mikey looked at you blankly. “Well, where is it?”
“Well, something happened to it,” was your only vague response, but then you turned your head to where you just came from making all three boys follow suit. On a wooden bench slightly obscured by the plants were a family of cats consisting of a mother and her kittens, all sleeping peacefully in a cozy pile on top of your balled up Toman jacket.
“Oh. Okay.” Mikey only nodded like he completely understood. Without thinking about it twice, Sano Manjiro, Tokyo Manji gang’s No. 1—feared around the streets of Tokyo, bowed to no one and stepped over everyone—took off his billowing Toman coat and draped it over your shoulders. “Here, you can borrow mine,” he simply said. “I mean, you gotta look the part.”
Your mouth stretched into a grin.
Beside him, Inupi gave Koko a quick, wordless glance accompanied by that tiny, upward curve on the corner of his mouth that anyone else could’ve missed. Inupi rarely smiled at anything anymore those days—perhaps one of the reasons why this singular, initial meeting had stuck in his mind all these years. It’s one of those memories Koko always thought he could probably live without, occupying a quiet little corner in his mind which, frankly, a much more practical or life-changing memory could have occupied, if it were up to him. But then there you were with your cats and your air of schoolgirl abandon making Inupi smile, an information that he simply didn’t know what to do about.
“Alright, boss. But please, no speeches.”
This made Mikey laugh. “Can’t promise you that, I’m sorry.” It’s only after a few more steps that Mikey did finally notice your bare feet.
“Where the hell are your shoes?”
“Oh, they got wet,” you quietly said. “I was playing with the cats…” and three pairs of eyes stared at you like it wasn’t enough of an answer. “With a hose. Manjiro, I was watering the plants.”
And so you stood atop the shrine steps while addressing the men from Black Dragons, your feet bare and covered in scratches and the Toman president’s much bigger coat over your shoulders. Nobody questioned the absence of shoes—at least not out loud—not with your leader Manjiro right by your side, in his flip flops holding a half-eaten taiyaki in one hand.
The memory comes unannounced in snips and pieces some years later as another Bonten meeting ends. There’s various movements around the table by now, but then Koko catches your undivided staring as you sat across from him, your chin propped up against one hand. He ignores you for a short while as he fixes his things, until he finally decides to look up.
“Anything wrong?”
You suddenly purse your lips in a small smile amidst the gloomy and rigid air of mid-morning Monday meetings and for a moment, it’s as if Koko is thinking of another memory.
“I just realized you kinda look like my Mr. Kaku,” is all you say. The little remark makes not-your Kakucho look up from the document he’s reading without really turning his head, while Rindou who is seated beside you squints—in curiosity or amusement, Koko can’t tell. From his own right side, Takeomi is slowly angling his head as if meaning to take a better look at Koko behind his curtain of silver hair.
Mr. Kaku, of course, is your pet cat, the one with the smooth silver fur that you’d rescued from an abandoned site during an out-of-town business trip some months ago. You and your unimaginative pet naming sense landed on “Mr. Kaku,” in honor of your then-partner Kakucho who had volunteered to keep the cat inside his bag thru the doors of the hotel that didn’t allow pets. But he looks nothing like Kaku, Manjiro had quipped, earning a few grunts of approval from your ever-biased circle, but you couldn’t have been bothered so you stuck with the name.
Koko is quick to decipher that in your-speak, cat comparisons are more or less compliments and never a form of insult—not that in your mid-20s, you all haven’t already gotten above petty verbal affronts, after all. So he humors you, eyes now back to his things but with his attention still on the matter at hand. “What, is it the hair?”
“Yeah, it’s the hair,” Rindou says before you can answer, his head lolling lazily on one shoulder. “Can’t believe no one had noticed before.”
“And the eyes,” you simply nod. “They both got these nice, sharp eyes.”
Would you have named him Mr. Koko if you thought he resembled Kokonoi before? is the one lingering question that none of the men around you bother to ask.
It’s only a couple of weeks later, after another Bonten meeting, when Koko hands you a souvenir from his weekend business trip: a red cat collar with a customized pendant, a tiny enamel engraving of your Bonten tattoo. The pendant is black on one side and gold on the other, and the small gasp you let out makes every head in the room turn—the almost unfamiliar, genuine sound of delight thawing the usual morning’s stern atmosphere.
“There’s a shop right across the hotel where they make rush engravings like that.” Koko is saying casually like it’s no big deal, but he sees the expression on your face and he can’t help but grin. “Thought Mr. Kaku might like it.”
Your eyes perk up at the mention of ‘Mr. Kaku’ like Koko is the first person to ever acknowledge that Mr. Kaku doesn’t need to be named anything else apart from ‘Mr. Kaku.’ “Oh, it’s perfect, Koko. I’ll send you pictures once I make him wear it,” you say, your attention instantly back to your hands, choosing to ignore his ‘I think just one picture might be enough.’
From the other end of the room, Sanzu is making his way towards the door. “Congratulations,” he smirks as he passes by behind you, quirking one eyebrow up at Koko. “Now she won’t be shutting up about it all weekend,” because Sanzu will be spending the next three days with you over in another city to conduct business with another drug scion, of course.
Across the table, Kakucho only sighs before shaking his head. “I still wish you could’ve picked a better name for your cat,” he says—a valid complaint, Koko thinks bemusedly, now that your own Mr. Kaku looks more like a feline version of himself.
chapter 8 >
.
.
this one goes out to my closest friends
the ones who make me feel less alien
.
.
#kokonoi hajime#koko#koko hajime#kokonoi x reader#koko x reader#gen fic#tokyo revengers#bonten x reader#bonten x you#bonten x y/n#sanzu#sanzu haruchiyo#haruchiyo#sanzu x you#sanzu x reader#sanzu x y/n#koko x you#koko x y/n#kokonoi x you#kokonoi x y/n#kokonoi hajime x reader#inui seishu#inupi#inupi seishu#kokonui#kokonupi#inui#inupi tokyo revengers#sano manjiro#mikey sano manjiro
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Stars Were Bright Above | Peter Parker
✦ pairing — Peter Parker x female!Plus Size Reader
✦ word count — 12k
✦ fake dating AU
✦ summary — in an attempt to make your best friend Harry jealous, you accept to fake date Peter who needs to cover up his big secret.
✦ request — I just read your Harry series and I was wondering if you could do something similar where reader is in love with Harry and she fake dates Peter and falls for him?
✦ warnings — angst, family issues, mentions of food and alcohol, language, reader and Peter are in college, brief depictions of anxiety, sexually suggestive content, drama between friends, fluff.
✦ author's note — whew, this one was supposed to be a quick one shot that’d help me get back into writing after days with a horrible migraine and then I completely lost control of it. I managed to find a compromise in 12k words after an excruciating editing process. Hope it’s coherent and that you like it!
════════════════════════
“I would love to stop and chat,” you told Peter as you looked for your keys, “but I’m in a hurry.”
“I’ll walk you to your car.”
If only you could find the stupid keys first! Oh, well, you’d check your backpack once you were in the parking lot.
Peter could have used the time it took you to cross campus to tell you whatever it was he wanted to say. Instead, he fiddled with the straps of his backpack and walked beside you in complete silence.
“I need a favor,” he finally said when you stopped in front of your car. As though it hadn’t been obvious.
“Peter,” you sighed, trying to hold your open backpack against your knee. A horrible idea, really. “My mom will kill me if I’m late for lunch.”
He took your backpack in his hands and held it for you. “I... it’s embarrassing.”
“We can talk about it tomorrow.”
“It can’t wait!”
His tone made you lift your head. “Are you alright? Is your aunt sick or something?”
He shook his head. “It’s about May in a way... oh, that rhymed.”
“Focus.”
“Right, right. Uhmmm she thought I was hiding something from her—“
You interrupted, “Were you?”
“Kind of,” he admitted. “So I told her I have a girlfriend.”
“I didn’t know you were dating anybody.”
“I’m not.”
“So why did you—“ You groaned. “Oh my God, you’re an idiot.”
“I deserve that one.”
“You want me to convince Gwen?”
“Gwen? Why would—“ He shook his head. Avoiding your eyes, he said, “I told her it was you.”
“And she believed you?”
“I’m as shocked as you are!”
“So you want me to lie to your aunt and tell her I’m dating you.” You closed your backpack, having had no luck finding your keys.
“More or less.” Peter continued holding your backpack, patiently waiting for you to retrieve it. “I was thinking more along the lines of lying to everybody and tell them we’re dating.”
You brought a hand to your hair, lightly gripping it for a moment. “I’m not a good actress.”
“I think your keys are in your hoodie.”
You palmed the front pocket where the sound of metal against metal let you know he was right. Introducing your hand, you withdrew the keys. “How did you know?”
“I heard them.”
“You have amazing hearing.” You reached over to take your backpack.
He handed it to you. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”
You unlocked the car and opened the back door on the driver’s side. Leaving your backpack onto the backseat, you heard Peter ask, “So... are you helping me?”
Standing straight, you turned to peer at him. You had to squint as the sun hit your face. “Can we talk later or tomorrow?”
He nodded. “Text me. Please.”
Peter had always been considerate with you and this time was no different. He patted your back before walking away on the opposite direction.
You bit your bottom lip. “Hey.”
Peter turned around. “Mmh?”
“Want me to drop you off?”
“Sure.”
It was nice to have some company in the car after a pretty lonely day. Gwen was nowhere to be seen and you didn’t share classes with Mary Jane. You had other friends, but they didn’t make you feel complete like Gwen, Mary Jane, Flash, Peter, and Harry did.
Harry...
You couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “Did you tell Harry?”
He didn’t sound surprised. “I was waiting for your answer. I told May she was the first person to know.”
You hummed. “What would I have to do?”
“She’ll want to confirm it’s true so you’d have dinner with us and then we would act like a couple in front of everybody.”
“Like a couple?”
“Just holding hands and hugging,” he clarified. “Maybe the occasional kiss on the cheek to throw people off their rhythm. Oh, and pet names!”
“You’ve got everything planned, huh.”
“My life depends on this,” he said dramatically.
“Do I get to know your secret if I say yes?”
He considered your question for a moment. “Eventually.”
You couldn’t believe you were doing this. “When should I come over for dinner?”
Peter’s eyes lit up. “Probably this weekend. I’ll ask May and text you.”
“Cool. I’ll talk to you later, then.”
He nodded. “Be safe.”
“You too.”
You pulled over a few blocks from your family home to put on some makeup, that way you would avoid the chastising that came every time your mom saw the bags under your eyes.
Wondering if Peter could tell the reason behind your helpfulness, you got rid of your hoodie and slipped a sweater on.
Doing this every time you visited after school was tiring, but it was better than putting up with meaningless fights.
Your mom was losing her patience when you arrived, you could see it on her face. She glared at you as you approached her to kiss her cheek. This and the fact that you couldn’t stand pretending so many aspects of your personality, were what lead you to choose to live on your own.
She hadn’t been too happy about it, but she was busy with the family business, her social life, and your sister to complain. Your dad always did what any of you wanted, mostly to make you three shut up.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry! Peter needed help with something.”
You sat down next to your sister who lifted an eyebrow.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately,” your mom suspiciously pointed out.
Oh, so she was keeping tabs on what you did on your free time...
The truth was there had never been anything between you and Peter.
You met him on his first day of college. He was the new kid everybody was intrigued by. Harry hated him at first and although you didn’t, you didn’t speak to him until Harry decided to stop being an asshole.
Now Harry was too busy with Liz, his gorgeous girlfriend, to care about you, his best friend.
It hurt, it really did. You befriended Harry when you were kids and had been inseparable up until now. Of course you had to put up with his weird flings, but he had never cast you aside for them.
You had harbored hope that he was secretly into you, but the less he spoke to you the more you realized he hadn’t found the one until he met Liz. That hurt even more — you were supposed to be the one.
Everything had played out in your mind from the moment you realized you had a crush on him. You would start dating in high school or college, get married, have kids, be a happy family...
But ever since he left you by yourself at a party when he was supposed to be your ride, you realized he hadn’t cared as much as you did.
Peter walked you to your apartment that night and made sure you drank plenty of water. He didn’t have to do it, Gwen and Mary Jane had already offered to do it themselves, but for some reason he felt like it.
You took a sip of water, realizing your mom and your sister were waiting for an answer. “He’s nice,” you opted for saying.
“Nice, eh,” you sister teased you.
“Yeah, nice. Is there a problem with that?”
You knew that attitude would only make them believe they were right in their assumptions. It was what Peter needed from you either way.
Truthfully, Peter wasn’t always nice, but you knew he tried.
“Are we waiting for dad?” you asked.
Your mom nodded. “He’ll be home any moment now.”
Your mom never complained when your dad was late, or when he was too busy to come home for lunch. You were used to it, she was biased in his favor — she had been since you were a child.
You checked your phone to keep yourself entertained. The Notification Center showed multiple badges, but the messages one caught your eye immediately.
Gwen💛: Missed you today.
You unlocked your phone to reply that you had missed her too when another text came in.
Pete: May said it would be cool if the three of us had dinner on Saturday.
You answered Peter first.
Sounds good to me. Just tell me what should I bring.
Your presence is more than enough, you’re our guest.
You huffed a laugh as you typed. Look at you trying to be cute.
I’ll have you know I’m extremely cute all the time.
Yeah, yeah. Should I bring dessert?
You don’t have to bring anything if you don’t want to.
I will strangle you the moment I see you, Peter.
Just say yes or no.
Maybe.
I hate you.
That’s not the proper way to treat your boyfriend :(
You could picture the glint in his eyes as he tried not to laugh.
You went along with it. I’m sorry, babe :(
I forgive you because I’m a nice boyfriend.
Won’t happen again. <3
Now let’s hope we can talk like that in person.
Are you daring me to sweet talk you in person?
Yes.
Your mom called your name. “Your dad asked you a question.”
You lifted your head. “Mmh?”
“No, no, continue texting,” he said sarcastically, “I have all day.”
You quickly typed TTYL and locked your phone. “Sorry.”
Your dad shook his head. “You and Harry always do this.”
“I wasn’t texting Harry,” you felt the need to explain. Harry didn’t deserve credit for this. “What did you want to ask?”
“I asked,” he remarked the word. “If you would be busy this weekend. Your sister won’t be.”
“I— uhmmm... I’m having dinner with Peter and his aunt on Saturday.” You saw your sister purse her lips beside you. “Did you need anything?”
“To spend time with my family.”
“I guess I can come over on Sunday or Saturday morning.”
“I was thinking about going out of town for the weekend,” he clarified.
“The three of you can go if you don’t want to wait another week,” you assured them. “I already told Peter I would have dinner with him and his aunt so I can’t cancel. I also have projects to do.”
════════════════════════
You rested your head on Gwen’s shoulder as both of you waited for Mary Jane in the cafeteria. They never made you feel like a third wheel even though they were dating so you never avoided spending time with them.
Mary Jane arrived accompanied by Peter. He looked extremely serious but he didn’t say anything as he stood across the table, staring at you like a child scared of saying what they had been up to. She elbowed him on the side before sitting down.
Peter got closer to you. “Can we talk?” he asked. “It’s important.”
You nodded, lifting your head off Gwen’s shoulder. As you stood up, you felt her hand squeeze yours which prompted you to turn and look at her.
She gave you a playful look that made you realize she wanted to know every detail once you were done. As your eyes crossed Mary Jane’s, you saw a similar sentiment in them.
“I’ll be right back,” you told them to pacify them.
He guided you to an empty area which wasn’t such an easy task. You ended up resting your shoulder against the wall, facing Peter while he looked around.
His eyes landed on you as he spoke in a hushed voice. “Can we start today?”
You mirrored his tone. “Fake dating?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay...”
“You don’t sound too sure.”
“Well, you’re changing the plan,” you explained. You hated changing plans, even more so when you weren’t sure you were the right person to execute them.
“I know. Just a day earlier, though.” He unashamedly pouted.
“Okay,” you said, this time sure. “Any particular reason?”
“There’s this freshman who thinks I flirt with her just because I’m nice to her and she’s creeping me out. I feel like she follows me around.”
You sighed. “She just has a crush on you, don’t be a baby.”
“Please?”
“I already said yes, you baby.”
“You kinda like calling me baby, don’t you?”
You playfully shoved him “You’re so annoying.” However, before he could leave to do whatever it was he did in his free periods, you grabbed him by the wrist. “Does Mary Jane know about your plan?”
“No. Why?”
“You arrived together.”
“Ah. No.” He shook his head. “I was looking for you and asked her if she had seen you.”
“Makes sense.”
“Yeah...”
You shifted on your feet. “So what now?”
“Do you have class next period?”
“Sadly.”
He chuckled. “I’ll walk you to class.”
“Wanna hang out with us for a little bit?”
“I gotta talk to Flash.”
You wiggled your eyebrows. “Gonna ask him out too?”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m never telling you who I find attractive ever again.”
“Good. Don’t wanna make your girlfriend jealous — do you, babe?”
Peter leaned over. His breath fanned on your face as he said, “Don’t worry, baby, I only have eyes for you.” He then kissed your cheek. “I’ll be right back. Wait for me with Gwen and Mary Jane.”
You nodded, hoping you didn’t look as stunted as you felt.
Both your friends stared at you, desperate to hear an explanation. You understood why, but you were still trying to come up with an excuse as to why you were so flustered over a kiss on the cheek.
You checked your phone, but there was nothing worthy of your attention.
Mary Jane spoke first, “What did Peter need?”
“We are a thing now.”
Gwen hummed. “But what did he need?”
“Permission to make it public.”
Mary Jane scratched her cheek. “Are you sure it’s a good idea?”
“You think he’d be a bad boyfriend?”
“I think you shouldn’t use him to make Harry notice you.”
That was harsh. Perhaps you deserved the reminder that Harry couldn’t care less about you, and perhaps you also deserved to feel bad for trying to use Peter against him — you would’ve preferred if the reminder didn’t come from your best friend.
“I’m not,” you partially lied. “I genuinely like Peter.”
True to his word, Peter walked you to class. You didn’t hold hands, it didn’t feel right, but he sweetly told you that he’d be waiting for you after your last class.
You saw Harry across the hallway, talking to Liz and one of her friends. For a second you thought he would walk towards you, the way he held your gaze had been almost cruel.
But he didn’t, he just gave you a nod and walked in the opposite direction, hand in hand with Liz.
You had better things to worry about. Your classes, your family’s expectations, helping Peter — reciprocal things to an extent. So why couldn’t you just get over the fact that Harry didn’t care about you?
Somebody poked you on the arm with their finger. Turning to the side, you found Flash who shot you a smile.
“What’s up?” you greeted him.
“We have a project to finish.”
You cursed under your breath. “Are you free on Sunday?”
“Nope.”
“Tomorrow?”
He tilted his head. “Yeah. I’ll drop by your place.”
“At what time?”
“Like 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Don’t wanna wake you up by mistake again.”
Peter laughed behind you, having caught that last part.
You ignored Peter. “I have something to do after 5. Why don’t you come over early? I promise I’ll be awake.”
Flash shared a look with Peter and then patted your shoulder. “Cool. See you tomorrow, sleeping beauty.”
Peter snickered, standing beside you now.
“Stop laughing.”
“I just can’t believe you’re that grumpy in the mornings.” He started walking towards the exit.
You walked beside him. “You don’t know the whole story.”
He opened the door for you and then followed your steps. “You can tell it tomorrow at dinner.”
Craning your neck go look at him, you asked, “You want your aunt to laugh at me?”
“I’ll defend you.”
You suddenly remembered that you didn’t know what you were supposed to do or say in front of his aunt. You had met her before, but that fact made this situation even more bizarre.
You tried to start with an easy question, “Should I wear a dress for tomorrow?”
“You can wear whatever you want,” he assured you.
Well, that wasn’t helpful at all.
════════════════════════
You checked the time on your phone and realized you had a message from Flash. He was on his way.
Looking around your bedroom, your eyes fell on the bed where a pile of clothes laid. The sight stressed you out, and even more the fact that you didn’t seem to be able to set your mind on an outfit.
You anxiously waited for Flash at the door, pulling it open the moment you were aware of his presence on the other side.
He lifted both eyebrows. You usually took your sweet time to answer the door.
“We sh—“
You interrupted him. “I need your help with something else first.”
Flash softly dropped the materials he had been carrying onto the couch as he gave you a skeptic look. “I’m not disposing of a body for you.”
You took him by the wrist, dragging him to your bedroom. It wasn’t an abnormal occurrence by any means, he honestly should have had expected it.
“God, not again.” He sighed as his eyes fell on the pairs of shoes scattered around the room.
“Come on, just tell me if I should wear that skirt.” You pointed at the black skirt on top of the mountain of clothing. “Or jeans.”
He opened his arms, unsure as to what to tell you as his hands stayed in an awkward angle.
“What would you want me to wear if I were meeting your family?” you encouraged him to help you.
He cocked his head, looking at you through his lashes. “A straight jacket.”
“Please take this seriously.”
Inhaling deeply, he set his eyes on the pile of clothes. “Is the skirt more comfortable than the jeans?”
“I’m not thinking about comfort.”
“Well, you should. You know May will make you squirm with her questions.”
“No skirt, then.”
“It’s just dinner,” Flash reminded you, “wear something casual.”
”Yeah,” you sighed, “just dinner.”
What an easy thing to say. You knew so few details that you might as well make a fool of yourself in front of May.
Flash ignored your semblance even though you knew he took note of it. He reached his hand into one of the bags he had been carrying then handed you a paper bag. “I brought breakfast.”
“Why didn’t you say so when you arrived?”
He glared at you. “Why don’t you get us something to drink instead?”
You ate breakfast sat on the living room floor while discussing your project. Flash wasn’t the most responsible person ever, but he was by far the best partner you ever had for a project.
However, his comment from earlier made you wonder something. Unable to hold it anymore, you asked, “How did you even know about the dinner?”
“Peter told me,” he answered simply.
“He did?”
“Why are you so shocked?”
You shrugged. “I thought we would wait a little bit longer.”
“Yeah, but it was bound to happen.”
“Don’t,” you warned him.
“Why not? I told you you’d end up having a crush on him.”
“Flaaaaaaaash!”
You hated to prove him right and although this was different, you wouldn’t lie and say Peter wasn’t attractive or crush material.
“Peter’s cool.”
“You don’t have to convince me, I’m already dating him.”
“I’m just pointing out that he’s an upgrade.”
There it was.
Flash took a dislike towards Harry when Harry started dating Liz which was normal because she was his ex, but it turned into vitriol really quickly.
Both Flash and Harry put Peter in an awkward situation the first few months. Now you didn’t know much about it — Harry complained about it with you at first, but he stopped.
“It’s different.”
“That’s the point, isn’t it?”
You frowned, looking into your half-empty cup of coffee.
“I can see through you.”
“Mary Jane told you her theory, didn’t she?”
“She thinks the same?” You nodded. He pensively hummed. “She didn’t tell me, to be honest. I’m only trying to look out for you and Peter.”
“I like him, I don’t know why you think I don’t.”
Flash didn’t spare you as he reminded you, “Because you said the same about your ex.”
“Yeah and look how that went!”
“(Name).”
“What?”
“Stop comparing guys you like to Harry and I promise you things will go well.”
He really could see right through you.
“I’ll stop. I promise.” Not knowing why, you added, “It’s not even that hard, Peter is... Peter. You know what I mean? Like how can you compare him to other people or other people to him?”
“Yeah, I get it.”
Oh no. “Do you like him?” you blurted.
Flash laughed softly. “Not in that way, no.”
“You sure? I don’t want things to be weird.”
“Peter might be handsome and cool,” he admitted, “but we wouldn’t work as a couple.”
“You think Peter and I would?” you incredulously asked.
“You will, yeah.”
You were truly nervous now. Not because of May’s potential questions or because you would have to lie — actually, you didn’t know where the nerves were coming from.
You just knew that Flash’s words resonated with you. He went from hating Peter to being his close friend which in your eyes meant he knew Peter better than anyone.
Did Flash know what Peter was hiding? Perhaps that was what he was alluding to when he assured you Peter and you would work as a couple.
The day went by extremely quickly. You weren’t mentally ready when Flash left or when you were on your way to Peter’s for that matter.
Peter was waiting for you in the lobby with hands in his pockets and shifty eyes.
“Is she like mad or something?” you asked instead of greeting him. You were ten minutes early so tardiness couldn’t be the issue.
He made a face, jerking his head as he gazed at you. He looked confused. “She’s just worried.”
What if she got angry at you when you hadn’t done anything? Peter told you to act normal, but normal you wasn’t madly in love with him.
As you approached the apartment, you found yourself thinking you were either going to ruin this or find out you deserved an academy award.
Peter opened the door and allowed you to come in first. May smiled at you before giving you a side hug in greeting.
“I brought dessert,” you told her as you parted from her.
“Oh, honey, you didn’t have to.”
Okay. Not angry yet.
She placed the dessert onto the table and motioned for you and Peter to sit.
Peter and you grabbed the chair at the same time. He opened his eyes wide, making you withdraw your hands immediately. He took the chair out for you.
Peter could be polite when he wanted, but you were getting worried. Since when did he treat the people he dated like this?
Nonetheless, you sat down.
May didn’t waste time and touched the subject pretty quickly. The moment she served dinner, she said, “I thought Peter was messing with me at first.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” he defended himself.
“Sure you wouldn’t,” she said sardonically.
“I thought he was messing with me when he asked me out, so I get it.”
Peter looked at you in shock and you unconsciously smiled at him.
May cooed. “I don’t understand why you two hid your relationship for months when you’re so cute together.”
“I didn’t want it to be awkward with our friends,” you quickly lied. “What if it didn’t work out or something?”
Your answer would have made sense if your relationship with Peter was real and that would be your strategy from now on. He couldn’t have a secret that would need you to lie that often.
May was so happy with your answers that the conversation deviated from you and Peter to everything but your love life.
You felt a little silly now, having expected the worst when Peter had already told you she was just worried.
He walked you to your car at the end of the night, something you guessed would become a common occurrence.
Things had gone well with May so you had no reason to think things wouldn’t go well with your friends.
You gnawed on the inside of your bottom lip. “Are things going to be awkward now?”
“Between us?”
You nodded. “I mean... saying shit is one thing, but you know...” God, you felt awkward already.
Peter frowned for a moment. “Give me your hand.”
Shifting on your feet, you asked, “You want your hand to be under mine or on top?”
“I don’t mind. You choose.”
You slid your arm under his, opening your palm but not touching him yet. He took the initiative and pressed his hand against yours.
“Is this okay?” he softly asked.
“Yes.”
He intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing a little bit. You huffed a laugh.
“This too?”
You nodded.
“Well, that’s the only thing that’ll change between us. We already hug pretty often.”
Oh, Peter gave the best hugs. Although Gwen was a close second, you preferred his because he was always warm. He also smelled good, but you had to give it to Gwen and admit she did too.
“I’ll see you on Monday, then, boyfriend.”
“Drive safe, girlfriend.” Before you could say anything, he added, “Text me when you get home.” Yet he didn’t let go of your hand immediately.
════════════════════════
Harry didn’t take the news of your relationship with Peter that well. The moment he saw you holding hands, he made his way towards you.
Peter squeezed your hand, easing your nerves. He was there, nothing could go wrong with Peter there.
“Shouldn’t you be in class?” Harry drily asked you.
“In twenty minutes or so,” you softly answered.
“Well, can I talk to you?”
You turned to Peter, hoping he’d save you from an awkward conversation. Sure, you wanted a reaction from Harry, but not an angry one!
“It’s okay, baby.” Peter kissed your hair as he let go of your hand. “I’ll see you later.”
With a shaky sigh, you motioned Harry to lead the way.
He immediately asked, “Why Peter?”
You stuttered. “I... things just happened.”
“Did they have to happen with my other best friend?”
In a twisted way, they had to. But you couldn’t possibly tell him that. “You didn’t care when Gwen had a crush on him, why is this any different?”
His eyes sharpened. “It just is.”
Many things just were. That didn’t mean anything. You wished you had the courage to reply.
As always, you gave him the upper hand and allowed him to make another question. “It’s not serious, right?”
What were you supposed to say? The thing that’d make him angry or the thing that’d pacify him? How selfish of you to be thinking about making Harry jealous when Peter needed this to be believable.
“It’s too soon to know.”
Harry hummed, softly nodding. “I’ll walk you to your class.”
You frowned. He had never done something like that.
“You’re coming to my birthday party, right?”
You almost tripped as you answered, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Cool. I’ll see you there.”
Thirteen-year-old you was right when she thought boys were confusing, but Harry surely took the cake. You assumed he’d ask you to hang out more often given his reaction, but there he was telling you —on a Monday— that he’d see you on Saturday.
Harry’s attitude soured your entire morning. If classes were already unbearable, he made you want to skip each one of them. Your friends noticed, but nobody said anything.
What a horrible morning and what a horrible week it would be until his stupid birthday party rolled around and you’d have to see him show his girlfriend off.
Your friends decided to go to the coffee shop near campus after class and although you weren’t in the mood for socializing, you would rather suck it up than be by yourself.
Besides, coffee shops were always a good place to do homework and you had quite a few projects accumulated.
Peter rested his head on your shoulder in the same way you always rested yours on Gwen’s. You threw your arm around his shoulders as you rested your eyes.
“Are you getting sleepy?” you whispered in case he was.
“No,” he mumbled. “But I don’t wanna move.”
“I have to pick up my sister from the mall in a couple of hours so you’ll have to.”
He whined.
“Who would’ve thought Peter would be a clingy boyfriend,” Gwen teased.
“Literally anybody who has ever seen him drunk,” Flash continued teasing him.
Peter was red. He shifted, trying to hide his face on your shoulder.
In all honesty, you didn’t mind if he was clingy or not. You had been told you were a little too effusive when it came to affection so you had a soft spot for people who were similar in any way.
You withdrew your arm from his shoulders in order to continue typing on your computer.
Peter went back to his previous position, facing your computer too. “You made a typo,” he told you. “Third line on the second paragraph.”
Mary Jane arrived late and she seemed to be in a bad mood so Gwen made up an excuse in front of your friend group as though she knew something you didn’t —she probably did— and took her home.
Looking at the time, you realized it was time for you to get going too so you started to put your things away.
‘I’m leaving with Flash,” Peter reminded you. “Text me or call me if you need me. I might not answer quickly because we’ll be playing video games but just try for a second time, okay?”
“Okay.”
He kissed your forehead. ”Drive carefully.”
You hummed. “Have fun, Pete.”
“You too, baby.”
Your mom didn’t give you many details when she asked you to pick your sister up. You didn’t even know with which friends she was hanging out with or why they were at the mall on a Monday and not somewhere more fun.
There you were, judging her like you hadn’t followed Harry like a puppy when you were her age.
She texted you that she was on her way to the entrance you were waiting at, telling you she had been all the way across.
It was probably a lie, but you’d let it slide.
Your sister tugged the door open and got into the car in silence, putting her cellphone away as she got comfortable.
“Did you have fun?”
She nodded and smiled at you.
You snickered and poked her cheek. “You have dried lipgloss all over your mouth.”
Your sister bashfully looked down.
You handed her a tissue. “Hey, it’s okay. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.”
She stayed silent for a small moment before worriedly asking, “Are you telling mom and dad?”
“No. But I’d like to know who it was.”
She whined. “Do I really have to tell you?”
You tried to put yourself in her shoes. You didn’t know how embarrassing it would have been for you to talk about your first kiss —or kisses— with a family member because nobody really cared when you started dating classmates.
But it didn’t sound fun so instead, you asked, “Are they your age?”
“Yup ”
“You promise?”
Realizing the question was serious, she nodded for emphasis. “Yes.”
“Cool. That’s all that matters.”
Your dad was home so you were forced to stay for dinner which again, was better than being on your own.
You couldn’t wait to either get together with Harry or over him. As things were going, you could only admit it would be the latter.
“Did your friend have a good birthday?”
Your sister looked at you before answering. “Yeah, we saw a movie.”
“What was the movie about?”
Your dad really tried to get along with both of you, you had to give him that. He was bad at it most of the time, but he tried.
Your phone started ringing. As you stared at the screen, you frowned. Unknown numbers rarely called you.
Hesitant, you answered, “Hello?”
“Hi, (Name),” May tried to speak sweetly. The moment you heard her voice, you stood up from your seat on the couch and left the living room. “Peter isn’t answering his phone, can you put him on the line for me?”
You walked into the adjacent studio, weirded out by her request. “He told you he’d be with me?”
“Isn’t he?”
“He is,” you said hurriedly, “I was just curious.”
“Can I talk to him now?” May laughed nervously.
“He went out to buy food and left his phone here. I’ll tell him to call you as soon as he’s back.”
“Thank you.”
You texted him multiple times as soon as May hung up.
May called. Where are you?
She sounded worried.
I had to lie and say you had gone out to buy food and forgot your phone in case she asks.
Hey.
Pete?
Dude, you’re scaring me.
PETER
Come on
Istg I will lose my shit if you’re messing with me
It’s not funny
You made your way towards the bathroom, needing to splash some water onto your face or something. Anything.
He couldn’t be so immersed in a video game as to not answer multiple calls or texts.
Why would Peter tell May he was with you when he could easily tell her he was with Flash? Was he not at Flash’s anymore?
Perhaps Flash would reply!
You texted him and called him dozens of times before giving up. You didn’t want to think the worst, maybe they were out buying something, but they could be in danger too.
Your hands started shaking pretty quickly when the idea of something happening to him overpowered your thoughts.
You needed to get out of that bathroom and back to the living room where a distraction could meet your anxiety before you went crazy.
So you splashed your face and bolted.
Back in the living room, you caught pieces of your dad’s conversation with your sister. He was boring her with business talk.
You had been in her place many times, and although his tone was more lighthearted with her because the expectations to follow in his footsteps were on you, it was clear he was trying to get her interested in things she didn’t even understand.
Your phone dinged. You immediately looked down.
Pete❤️: I’m okay
What the fuck, Peter?
Where were you?
Busy, sorry.
Did you call May?
Yeah.
Ok.
You didn’t know what else to say. ‘I had a shitty day and you almost gave me a panic attack’ didn’t sound appropriate. It would be truthful, but you couldn’t do that to him.
Where are you?
At my parents’.
He didn’t reply anymore so you locked the device and rested your head on the arm of the couch.
What a fucking day. If your week would be half as exhausting, you were ready to give up on the entire month in advance.
Remembering you were meant to ask if Mary Jane was okay, you unlocked your cellphone again.
As you finished typing your message to Gwen, one from Peter came through.
Can you come out for a few minutes?
Yeah. Give me a moment.
You took a deep breath, fixing your outfit as you slipped your phone into your pocket. You rounded the couch as you attempted to take the path towards the front door.
“Where are you going?” your sister asked.
“Outside. I need to give something to Peter.”
“Don’t take too long,” your dad told you.
You said a meek yes as if you were going to listen to him when you needed to inspect Peter from head to toe just to make sure he was truly okay.
You couldn’t bring yourself to speak as Peter slowly approached you. To his credit, he looked fine so he hadn’t lied.
He spoke first, as he should have, “Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad,” you mumbled.
He gave you a look.
Clearing your throat, you opened your arms only to slap your hands against your thighs in defeat. “You had me worried sick.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“Are you going to tell me where were you?”
“I can’t.”
You scoffed. “So I have to cover for you without even knowing what the hell I’m covering?”
He whispered your name, placing his hand on your cheek as he tried to make you look at him.
You closed your eyes. “I don’t mind lying for you,” you softly said, meaning it like you had never meant anything else in your entire life. “But don’t I deserve to know why I’m lying?”
He brought you onto his chest, holding you tight against him. “You do deserve to know,” he admitted. “And I’ll tell you everything, but not tonight.”
You were scared to ask why.
════════════════════════
Peter draped his arm over your shoulder, holding you close to him as the two of you stood with your group of friends.
You hadn’t been in that place in a long time but still remembered where every room was. You also knew in which one Harry would fuck Liz at the end of the night.
You took a sip of alcohol. It didn’t taste like much — a bad sign.
Your eyes fell on the beer pong table. A guy you didn’t recognize and Harry were playing against Mary Jane and Flash. That was a bad sign too.
“I’m gonna refill my cup,” you whispered in Peter’s ear, “do you want me to refill yours?”
He shook his head. “I’ve still got plenty.”
It took you a moment to move and he didn’t make a sign to having found it weird.
The kitchen was quieter, not by much but the change was nice. Something you had always disliked about Harry was his taste in music.
You crashed against a thin body.
Liz took you by the waist and you awkwardly placed your hand on her hip, each of you steadying the other. “Sorry,” both of you apologized at the same time.
“I was distracted,” you insisted.
She took her hands off you and you did the same. Liz extended her hand so she could refill your cup for you.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she said as she refilled your cup. “Harry thought you wouldn’t come.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “You know how he is.”
You didn’t. Not anymore. You took your cup from her, thanking her before bringing it to your lips.
“Well, we’re all here,” you said in pretended optimism. “And we’re all having fun.”
She smiled, looking as pretty as ever. “Damn right we are!”
You went back to Peter while Liz took off to talk to some of her friends. Once again, he threw his arm over your shoulders, hand almost brushing your chest as it dangled.
Mary Jane was back, bored of playing. Flash asked Peter to team up with him. Peter removed his arm from you, telling you he’d be back.
You focused on Peter as he rolled his sleeves on his way to the table.
Feeling something move in your pocket, you took your cellphone out. Your dad was calling.
“I need to take this call,” you told your friends.
The air was cold in comparison to the inside of the house. You let your dad call again and answered the phone, already expecting some kind of bad news.
To his credit, he sounded disappointed while telling you the plans the family had made for the next day were cancelled. He said your mom was upset.
As a child you often heard excuses for his absence. He was busy, his success depended on sacrifices, he tried his best so you and your sister could have everything you wanted.
Harry always told you to be grateful that you had loving parents. You weren’t sure you had the same definition of love.
You still assured your dad you weren’t angry and promised to spend the day with your mom and sister. His silence as an answer to your offer was a reminder that he didn’t believe you were capable of fixing meaningful problems.
You didn’t show how much it hurt you, there was no point. He meant well, your mom and sister did too.
Leaving the party sounded appealing, but your friends didn’t deserve it. You sucked it up and went back to the house.
Peter and Flash were bumping fists when you approached the area. They had won the game.
You went directly to the couch, not in the mood for dancing. Peter walked towards you, fixing his hair.
Sitting down, he twisted his upper body. “Is everything okay?”
“My dad just cancelled tomorrow’s family plans and said mom’s kinda upset.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“Neither am I.” You changed the subject, “I’m surprised you won that game, though.”
“You don’t have faith in me?”
You swiped your tongue across your bottom lip. “I never said that. But you have to admit you’ve never been one for taking part in games. Last time I saw you play something, you got your ass handed to you by Flash.” Twisting your mouth, you tilted your head. He looked down. “You’ve never played sports, right?”
He didn’t answer.
You insisted, “Right?”
He hummed, nodding at the same time as though it made any sense.
“Were you even listening?”
“No,” he quickly admitted. “Can I kiss you?”
Oh. He had been looking down at your mouth.
He caught you off guard. You couldn’t say no, though, you didn’t want to say no. “Yes,” you answered him.
He started slow and sweet, with his hand on your cheek as the other rested on his lap. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, so you just closed your eyes and kissed him back, following his rhythm.
He slowly build the kiss up, sucking your bottom lip between his. Gripping the front of his sweatshirt, you boldly bit down his bottom lip in return.
Peter wrapped his free arm around you then he brought you closer, flush against him. His tongue tried to pry your mouth open in the exact moment you were about to do the same. Your tongues clashed together and instead of turning it all awkward, it only prompted you to grab him by the hair.
Peter hummed on your mouth and continued kissing you. Now he had both hands on your body, holding you tightly by the waist.
Maybe you could take him to another room, maybe you could feel his hands on you without the burden of your clothes.
His vice grip on you made you feel like floating and you suddenly wondered why you hadn’t made out with Peter before. It didn’t have to be anything serious, it didn’t have to go past messing around.
He was attractive, so were you. Why hadn’t you seen it before? Why had you denied yourself this when he was so good at kissing and his touch was so rough you were sure he would leave marks? And you wanted him to do it, you wanted him to let himself loose on you.
Fuck, you were getting horny over your fake boyfriend.
And as if he knew exactly what was going on inside your hazy mind, he attached his lips to your neck. It was over, you were done — it would be a failure if you didn’t manage to take him to a private room or back to your apartment.
Resting a hand on his thigh as you pushed yourself over, you felt the vibration of his throat as he whimpered while you kissed him.
Something buzzed under your hand, prompting both of you to part. Panting, you stared at each other for a moment. His hair was a mess and he had never looked prettier.
He withdrew a hand from your body to take his cellphone out. You knew the mood had completely been killed when he sighed and locked the device.
“I need to do something,” he announced as he stood up. “I’ll be back.”
What? You didn’t have a chance to react, he just left you there, hot and bothered.
════════════════════════
You padded your way toward the kitchen for the second time since you had gone to bed. Sleep wasn’t necessarily elusive that night, but you found yourself waking up every hour.
Turning the lights on, you looked at the time. Almost 4:00 am. You filled a glass with water and slowly drank it.
You knew the tough day you had with your family was still doing a number on you even though you had left early, you also knew you should have been used to it by now.
Tapping against glass took you out of your mind, bringing you goosebumps. As the sound continued, you realized it was coming from the living room.
You considered going back to your room and locking yourself up which sounded safer, but curiosity overpowered logic.
A figure loomed over the windowpane. You wondered if your mind was tricking you — you lived in the fifth floor.
The figure became clearer as you got closer to the window. You let out a relieved sigh. Spider-Man waved. You tilted your head — why would Spider-Man want to visit you?
Maybe he was hurt and needed help.
You opened the window. “Can I help you?”
He nodded upward, letting you know he needed to come in. You let him, moving to the side.
He took the liberty to close the window once he was inside. You stood before him, assuming he would verbally tell you what he needed.
He wasn’t hurt from what you could see. He walked just fine, his breath wasn’t ragged... You were more confused now.
Reaching to the back of his head, Spider-Man took the mask off. Brown eyes bore into yours.
“You wanted to know what I was hiding...” Peter trailed off.
“You’re joking.”
He stepped closer to you. “I’m not.”
He had to. His sense of humor wouldn’t match a joke like this, but he had to.
The suit didn’t look like a cheap costume, but there had to be another explanation. Yes, it made sense — every time he disappeared out of nowhere and worried you sick, those days he sported black eyes or cuts on his face... but you didn’t want this to be the truth.
You dragged your finger down his arm to feel the texture of the suit.
Peter took a deep breath.
“Sorry,” you mumbled.
“It’s okay, baby,” he huskily said. When he got no answer, Peter added, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you baby.”
You inhaled deeply. “I get it, you’re getting used to it.”
He hummed, eyes on you as he sighed.
You placed your hand on his bicep. “Are you okay, Pete? I’m not going to tell anybody if that’s what worries you.”
His hands found their place on your waist. You leaned closer, seeking his warmth. Peter opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it.
He leaned in and kissed you, tentative as he gave you time to push him off you. But you didn’t, why would you?
You ran your hand through his hair as you kissed him back, already familiar with the shape of his lips and the warmth of his mouth.
He pushed you onto the wall as he shoved his tongue inside your mouth. His kiss became sloppy while his hands started wandering down.
He gripped your thighs, bringing your legs up so you’d wrap them around his waist. Both of you ground against the other, sloppily kissing. You could hear the sound your mouths were making and feel his hot breath on your face.
He was driving you crazy.
Peter didn’t stop there. Giving you room to breathe, he lowered his mouth to your neck where he took his time to find your sweet spot.
You felt his fingers up your thigh, where he played with the edge of your sleeping shorts.
He kissed, sucked, and licked his way up to your ear. “Is this okay?”
You hummed against his mouth before kissing him again pawing at his suit, desperate to feel his skin under your fingertips. Frustrated, you broke the kiss. “How do you even take this thing off?”
He chuckled and gave you another kiss. “I’ll teach you.”
“Are you gonna strip for me?” you joked. Why were you making jokes right now?
Peter tilted his head. “Is that what you want?”
The idea wasn’t bad at all, yet you answered truthfully, “I just want to touch you.”
He didn’t deny you anything that morning. You couldn’t remember the last time you enjoyed yourself that much with a sexual partner.
You didn’t leave an inch of his body untouched, relishing in his reactions. He wasn’t ashamed to tell you if he liked something, or to ask you to touch him firmly.
Peter didn’t hold back either. All he wanted was you and you weren’t complaining. He gripped you tightly and sucked on your skin as much as he was able to.
There would be bruises on you by the next day, and there would be scratches on him if his powers didn’t heal him quickly.
You liked this side of him, the side that fucked you into the mattress and groaned above you. He wasn’t scared of breaking you or hurting you — for a moment you wondered how it would feel if he did it.
He came on your belly then cleaned you up afterwards which was more than appreciated. You weren’t even sure you could speak properly when he asked if you needed water.
He brought you a glass either way, of course he did.
The sun was up when you were done, too tired to move and too spent to complain. Peter was back on the bed, warm body pressed against yours.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No,” you tiredly answered. “I’m good.”
He held you tighter, laying his head on your chest.
You lazily dragged your fingers down his spine. “Is everything okay?”
“It was a long night,” he told you in a low voice.
You chose to believe he had visited because he thought you could provide him comfort, and you also decided that you always could — that you were okay with doing so. Even if most things about your relationship were fake, this one didn’t have to be.
════════════════════════
Peter and you never talked about it, and although you would have liked to hear the reasons behind his actions that night, you didn’t need to because it continued happening.
Having sex made pretending easier. He always had an arm around you or a hand on your body around your friends and by now you not only were used to his touch but sought it.
You often woke up next to him, sometimes clothed and sometimes naked. He always woke up before you, but he never left immediately. You wanted to know why.
Flash had been right to assume you’d develop a crush on Peter and now you had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t just a crush anymore.
You worried about him and wanted to be around him every second of every day, you liked hearing him tell you about his classes and his day — you liked that he always asked about yours, that he was willing to drop things for you because you would drop everything to be there for him.
Covering for him became a reflex. You had an inkling that May knew you were lying sometimes, but she never said anything according to Peter.
Your friends were happy with the development of your relationship which would have been lovely if this was real. But now you worried that the supposed breakup would disrupt your friend group.
It was hard not to think about it. The day would surely come and you’d be by yourself most of the time again. As if that was the only problem.
And problems continued rolling onto you. The last person you expected to see was at your door.
Harry gave you a smoldering look as you stood speechless. “Are you letting me in?”
You did.
He sat down on the couch, making himself at home even though he had barely visited your apartment.
“I thought you were sick,” he said in reference to the fact that you cancelled plans with your friends the day before.
“I was busy.”
Disgust contorted his face as his eyes fell on your neck. “Busy fucking my best friend?”
You flinched at his tone.
“I should’ve known you were only spending time with him because you wanted to get him into your bed.”
He said it as though you were the type of person to fuck anybody you met, as though you hadn’t rejected people because they weren’t him specifically.
“Believe it or not,” you coldly lied, “I started dating him months and not days before your birthday. You would’ve known about it if you talked to me.”
“Rubbing it on my face, aren’t you? Do you know how embarrassing it was to hear you were making out with him at my house after I told my friends multiple times that you were off limits?” He was seething, expelling droplets of saliva as he reproached you.
“Why would you do that in the first place? You knew I’d end up dating somebody who goes to the same school as us.”
“Why would you go for my best friend specifically? Don’t you care about my relationship with him?”
“Is this what our friendship has come to be? A reproaching fest?”
“You’re the one who crossed the line.”
“Harry, you didn’t have a problem when half our friend group drooled over him!”
“Because that’s different. I know Peter, he’s not right for you.”
You incredulously scoffed. “Funny how you’re the only one who says that.”
“I’ve never been wrong about the guys you’ve dated.”
Well, you couldn’t argue against that. But Flash was right, those guys hadn’t been the problem — the fact that you compared them to Harry was.
“Let time prove either of us right.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“What?”
“You promised nobody would ever be more important than me.”
You both promised a lot of things as kids... that you would never bring dates to an event you could attend together, that you would attend the same college, that you would be part of the same friend group your entire lives, that you would tell each other everything...
“I’m not saying Pete is more important than you, I’m j—“
“Break up with him, then.”
“You’re making it sound like I have to choose between you and him.”
“Because you have to.” When he didn’t get an answer, he added. “I’ll give you time to think it through.”
You wanted to do anything but think. You wanted to have your best friend back — you didn’t care if he was jealous anymore, you never should have. You weren’t Liz, it was okay, he liked her and you liked somebody else.
“Harry, come on...”
But Harry walked himself out and forced your words to die in your throat.
You never thought he would be as angry as you wanted him to be. You got your anger and your jealousy and your dilemma. He had it all clear, you were the idiot who had to get into this mess.
A shower and a portion of your comfort food later, you decided that you couldn’t be inside your head right now and left your apartment.
It was drizzling. Such a perfect weather to be inside doing everything or nothing alike.
You loved being by yourself at your place. The plan for the day had been just that. But as always, Harry made you change them.
Chastising yourself for forgetting your phone at home, you knocked on the door in front of you.
The door opened and you were greeted with a smile.
You wished you could’ve smiled back. “Hi, May, is Peter home?”
She motioned for you to come in. “He’s in his room. Do you want something to drink?”
“Not now, thank you.”
You knocked on his door, hoping he would answer before May could tell something was wrong with you.
Peter yelled for you to come in. You were an idiot, he probably had heard you talking to his aunt.
Pushing the door open, you stuck your head in. “It’s me,” you softly said just to make sure you had his permission to come in.
“Come in, baby.”
God, not that pet name. Not now.
You closed the door behind you before facing him. He was sat at his desk, writing something down on a notebook as he looked at the computer screen.
Approaching him, you leaned in to see what he was doing. You didn’t understand much of it, science was his thing.
He rotated the chair to face you. “What’s up? You didn’t text me...”
“Forgot my phone at home.”
Peter frowned and dropped his pen on top of the notebook before standing up to move towards his bed. “Are you alright?”
Did you look that bad? You weren’t wearing makeup, but he had seen your bare face plenty of times to be weirded out.
“Can I have a hug?”
Now sat on the bed, Peter opened his arms and legs so you’d make yourself at home between them.
And you did. You hugged yourself to him as tightly as you could, afraid he would let go at any moment.
He didn’t let go, you should have known he wouldn’t — your mind was playing tricks with you, that was it.
“What happened? Why are you upset?”
You didn’t have the heart to tell him. Not yet, not when you were scared he would cut you off from his life just because Harry thought it was for the best.
“Had a long day yesterday and didn’t want to be alone today,” you mumbled.
“Why don’t we watch a movie?” he offered. “I’ll let you pick which one we watch while I go get some snacks.”
You whined. “I don’t wanna move.”
“It’s just like ten minutes. We’ll cuddle the entire runtime.”
“You promise?”
He kissed your forehead. “I promise.”
It amazed you how easy it was to trust him, to like him, to want to be with him no matter the moment or the activity.
It took you longer to pick a movie than it took him to come back. You didn’t want any snacks, but you still took them because you didn’t want him to worry too much.
You would worry on your own later.
Peter hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. His hands rested on your belly as he watched the movie, giving you butterflies every time he laughed against your skin.
How were you supposed to give this up when it felt so good?
════════════════════════
Mary Jane sat across from you, playing with the glass between her hands. She was listening to you, but by the way she was tapping her fingers against the glass, she was dying to interrupt.
You went on and on because you still couldn’t believe Harry would make you choose between him and somebody else. It didn’t even make sense when he had thrown you and Peter to the side when he started dating Liz.
When her time came, Mary Jane spoke, “You shouldn’t care about what Harry says.”
“I care more about the fact that I ran to Peter like a fucking idiot.”
“He’s your boyfriend.”
You knew she was trying to be the voice of reason, but no, he wasn’t. That made it worse. “But doesn’t it make it look like I already chose?”
“Kinda,” she conceded. “But that’s not a bad thing necessarily.”
“Harry and I grew up together.”
“And Peter fucks you stupid. They have different roles in your life.”
You remained silent. Your cup was already empty and you didn’t need more caffeine. In fact, a soothing tea would have been a better choice — you needed to drive after this once your sister was done with her friends.
“Do you still like Harry or something? I will kill you if you say yes.”
You got that from her tone, she didn’t have to tell you. “I don’t know.”
“But you like Peter more... Right?”
“Yeah, I do.” Maybe liking was selling it short at this point.
Peter didn’t make you choose, and if anything between you were real he wouldn’t make you choose either. You were so sure that you would’ve bet your own life on it.
That fact was a problem. Why couldn’t Harry be like Peter?
“Maybe I need another opinion,” you mused out loud.
“Gwen will tell you the same.”
“What about Flash? Maybe if he had all the details...”
“Flash will try to convince you to kill Harry in his sleep.”
“You think so?” Of course he would, but you were desperate.
“He’s team Peter all the way. Honestly, I would think they have something going on if Peter wasn’t so into you.”
You avoided looking at her. “What should I do?”
“What do you want?”
“Just... I don’t know. About what? From what?”
“Do you want to choose?”
“No.”
“You could choose neither of them.”
“But—“ You shook your head.
“No, say it.”
“I can’t.”
Mary Jane wouldn’t pressure you to talk, she wasn’t that kind of person.
“At least tell Peter about it before Harry does,” she advised.
“I’ll tell him once I’m done here.”
It was late when your sister met you at your table. Mary Jane had left two hours earlier and you had even entertained yourself looking around a few stores and come back.
You drove in silence, allowing her to talk if she wanted to. Maybe asking something would’ve been better, but you didn’t have the energy to find out who your sister was dating or why she had decided to hide it.
Enough was already on your plate, and you needed to trust her, unlike your parents.
Stopping the car, you waited for her to get inside. Your mom hurried outside the moment she opened the door and walked towards your car.
She made you a sign with her hand, asking you to roll the window down.
With a sigh, you indulged her.
“Dinner tomorrow,” she drily told you. “You should bring Peter, I think it’s time your dad meets him.”
“Mom, I’m not marrying him or something like that.”
“I don’t care. Bring him.”
Great. Another fucking problem you had to deal with now. Your dad had always been clear on the type of person he wanted for you and Peter was not it. A shame, really.
“I’ll ask if he isn’t busy,” you compromised.
She looked happy with that. Your mom wished you a good night and turned around. You watched her get inside the house, wondering if she truly wanted you there the next day or not. You never knew with her.
You didn’t get to talk to Peter that night. Instead of telling him you wanted to see him so you could talk in person, you told him your parents wanted to have dinner with him.
Peter said yes immediately and asked about the dress code. God, you didn’t even want to think about clothes.
And with good reason — it wasn’t fair that everything suited him. There was no color or style Peter couldn’t pull off.
But it was probably for the best, he’d make a good impression that way.
You wanted your dad to like him and your sister to trust him and your mom to laugh at his lame jokes. You wanted them to see the person you desperately wanted to be in your life until your last day alive.
Truthfully, you didn’t care if he had feelings for you like you did for him. You enjoyed being around him, his friendship was enough.
The surprise the two of you got when Norman and Harry stood up to greet you was extremely hard to hide.
Norman gave you and Peter a warm smile. “I told Harry to bring his girlfriend, but he didn’t listen to me.”
You shifted on your feet, using Peter as leverage to ground yourself by squeezing his fingers between yours.
Your mom smiled tightly. “Next time it will be.”
Much like Flash did with you, Norman talked wonders about Peter to your parents.
You avoided looking at Harry with the pretense of being polite by gazing at whoever was speaking. Such gesture didn’t sit well with him and he showed it by standing up and walking towards you.
Harry inhaled deeply. “Can we talk in private?”
Unconsciously, you turned to look at Peter. He patted your thigh in encouragement.
“Sure,” you feigned enthusiasm.
You walked across the house in silence, wishing he would tell you to forget about what he said before.
Harry stared at you as you looked around the backyard. Not only were you avoiding speaking first, but you were confused as to when the lighting fixtures had been changed.
The spot you were awkwardly standing at had witnessed many secrets being exchanged between you. Perhaps it would be witness and accomplice of your fallout too.
“So you’ve made your choice.”
“Harry...”
His furious eyes bored into yours. “Why the fuck did you bring him?”
“I wanted to,” you confessed. “Mom told me I should and I agreed.”
“We never bring dates tho dinners like these. We promised,” he reminded you.
“He’s not just a date, this is different.”
“I didn’t invite Liz because I keep my promises.”
“You didn’t invite Liz because you didn’t want to.” You hated that he couldn’t own up to his mistakes with her when he loved her so much. “Stop holding a stupid promise I made when I was six against me.”
“You wouldn’t have liked it if I brought her here while you were single.”
“You stopped talking to me the moment you started dating her. I would’ve expected it.”
“So you went and tricked my best friend into a relationship.”
Was that he thought about you? That you manipulated or forced people to be around you?
“Your best friend? You barely talk to him anymore, Harry. And don’t you dare tell me it’s Liz’s fault.”
He ignored your first comment. “Now I will get in trouble with her for not taking her here if she sees pictures.”
“Call her and tell her the truth. Or blame me, I don’t care.”
“It is your fault,” he bitingly said, “you brought him to something special for us.”
“I didn’t even know you’d be here! And honestly, you should be happy for me.”
“I would be if he wasn’t my best friend.”
“Again with that...” You sighed, hoping you could find the right words. “I don’t want to choose, Harry, and it fucking hurts that you from all people are putting me in this situation God knows why.”
“I’ve told you before, it’s because Peter is—“
You interrupted him, “Peter being your best friend doesn’t matter, he’s not going to drop you like you dropped us.”
“I know I dropped you for a while, but Liz needed my attention.”
You didn’t blame him for focusing more on her, or for wanting to spend most of his time with her, but you knew for a fact that Liz made time for her friends; Harry could’ve done the same.
You started tearing up There was the problem, Harry couldn’t make time for you or Peter or Gwen even when he was free.
Harry stammered, but not a single word came out of his mouth after that. It only made you cry harder. Did he not care even a little bit?
“I’ll give you a moment alone,” he finally mumbled.
You walked further down the backyard, cursing yourself for crying and for wearing uncomfortable shoes. You were supposed to look pretty and taller, not to ruin your makeup and walk around furniture and plants.
You sat on the couch before deciding to lay down on your side. You used to do that when you were a kid too. You’d wait for the pool to be ready in that position and you would lay on your back when you wanted your mom to ask if something was wrong.
Right now, you weren’t sure what you wanted. You definitely didn’t want to talk to whoever the approaching steps belonged to.
You still looked up as a figure stood before you.
Peter crouched down and reached over to wipe your tears. The gesture made more tears come out.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, placing a hand on your waist and slipping his other hand to your back to make you sit up. He sat down beside you. “Come here.”
Peter brought you closer, making you rest your head on his shoulder.
“I don’t understand why he’s making me choose between you and him,” you lamented.
“He is?”
Fuck. You had assumed Harry had told him and that was why he was there. “I didn’t know how to tell you...”
Humming, he rubbed your arm up and down. “You can tell him the truth if you want.”
You lifted your head off his shoulder, searching for his eyes. He didn’t seem to mean it in a bad way. You shook your head.
“Are you sure? I can tell him if you want.”
“It would be pointless.”
“I don’t like seeing you cry.”
“We should change the subject then.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I just...” Peter pursed his lips, second-guessing his next words. “It pains me to see you upset.”
“Peter,” you pleaded, “don’t do this to me.”
“Don’t do what?”
“You’re making everything more difficult than it already was.”
He slanted his head, taken aback. “Because I care about you?”
“Because I think I’m in love with you.”
Peter blinked rapidly before his eyes started dancing all over your face as though he was waiting for you to say something else.
But you didn’t have much to say anymore. All your cards were on the table. Although you had to admit his lack of response would drive you insane if he continued looking at you like that.
“You don’t have to say anything,” you lied. “I’m okay with being just friends. I just thought you should know.”
“No, no, no.” He shook his head, taking himself out of his self-absorption. “I feel the same, I promise! But... I don’t want to ruin your friendship with Harry.”
“So you’re making me choose too?”
“No. I just don’t want you to regret being in a real relationship with me because you lost your best friend.”
“It wouldn’t be your fault.”
“Yeah, you’re right...” Peter looked up at the sky and huffed a laugh.
You mirrored his movement. The sky was clear, allowing you the privilege to gaze at the stars.
“Remember that night I walked you to your place and we stopped in the middle of the street to look at the stars?”
You giggled. You had been on the verge of crying that night after Harry ditched you for Liz if it hadn’t been because Gwen distracted you. “Yeah, I remember.”
“Should I have kissed you that night?”
You weren’t sure, it was hard to know if you would’ve kissed back or not. You wanted to believe you wouldn’t have, but who knew. “Does it matter?”
“No.” Peter twisted his body and cupped your cheek so you’d look at him. You softly smiled at him and he gave you a small kiss. “Not anymore.”
228 notes
·
View notes
Text
Play the Game | Nanami Kento X You | Part 8/8 [COMPLETED]
CHARACTERS: Nanami Kento X You (fem!reader | PLEASE READ THE NOTES BELOW*) | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Utahime Iori | other JJK Characters
CHAPTER COUNT: 8/8
WORD COUNT: 4, 800+
GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | smut | ooc depictions | female reader with described appearance* | modern au | rich people au | aged up characters
CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity | age gap | cigarette smoking | strong/mature/suggestive language | alcohol use
SPOILERS: n/a
STATUS: COMPLETED
collection masterlist
one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight (final)
"Play the Game" Masterlist
You stood by the door, watching the chaos in your brother’s bedroom as he prepared for his wedding at sunset, waiting for everyone to leave so you can finally speak to him in private. He was, after all, the only one in the family you cared for enough to inform him of your decisions.
People always say you and Gojo were similar. However, those very things that made you alike also set you apart. Besides the platinum white hair and remarkable blue eyes you shared – unique even within the clan – being the absolute obvious, the similarities stopped there.
You siblings were supposed to be akin to one another, but the same things they loved about your brother were the same things people abhorred about you. You and your brother were both prodigies. He was richer than the whole clan, all assets combined being the successful businessman he was ever since he was in his teens. It was as freakish as it was awe-inspiring. You were an artist of great renown with your multi-million dollar pieces and the youngest to have been dubbed as a national artist when you were the same age as him.
But where he basked in fame and acclaim, your prominence was fueled by infamy. Gojo built an empire that served as one of the pillars of the local economy. You produced artistic pieces that inspired execration and controversy. Undeniably brilliant, yes, but absolutely contentious.
Your brother was kind. In fact, he was the best older brother one could ever ask for, and that was not lip service nor was it because of your biases towards him. You can never discount how caring he is to you, how hard he tries to make you happy and how he would go through lengths as to be the idiot just to satisfy your whims. He was just genuinely good-natured although he appeared somewhat insouciant. He had his evil streak, too, which is established in the clan, but his goodness radiated like a light that followed him wherever he went.
However, you have long accepted that your side which reflected Gojo in every way when you were younger had long died. Altruism wasn’t one of your strongest suits and you were only ever affectionate to people you had deep, deep fondness for. And that wasn’t even something common. Even your parents had always been the receiving end of your lackadaisical attitude.
He attracted people, you repelled them. Being surrounded by the good people he called friends was a testament to that no matter how vexing his personality was, and more people want to be near him. Apart from your three friends, you didn't make any more and your school life sucked because majority of your classmates hated you. For what, you didn't know. You don’t think you will ever understand.
It was your seven-year gap that made all the difference, you liked to think. It was much easier to swallow than the concept of the whole cosmos conspiring to create two creatures to be equals but of the opposite nature. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be that way, but you will always be the one looking up to him regardless if you did not choose the same path as his; regardless of whether there were no comparisons with what either of you endeavored to do.
And above everything else, you loved Satoru very much.
“Got a minute?” You began, standing before him in front of the mirror. It was rather annoying watching him struggle with the cufflinks, and you didn’t think he would manage to fix the bowtie still hanging loosely on his neck. Thus, you thought of taking charge. “Give it here.”
Gojo was surprised, but he was nonetheless happy. He wore his heart on his sleeve after all, and you could only guess it was that vulnerability he risked showing that attracted people to him. You have only learned the intricacies of such a matter recently, something you had to agree with since it all made perfect sense.
“Thank you,” he said, tilting his head to the side, watching you work on his cuffs.
“You’re really getting married, huh?” you began, feeling yourself start to falter, but you have decided. You may not have gotten him the best wedding gift materially speaking, but you swore to let him in on what was going on with you, to be honest with him like you hadn’t been for the longest time. “Who would have known?”
“Am I finally getting that emotional pre-wedding sibling talk?” he asked, walking towards the seats by the window and looking out into the garden.
“You’re getting married, not being sent away to prison. I don’t even understand why this happens during weddings,” you quipped, sighing. “But I guess you could call it that.”
He smiled at you, patting the space beside him. You did as you were told, assuming the spot, but also looking out the window, watching as the organizers made finishing touches to the garden below. No expense was spared to make the occasion as perfect as it could get. You couldn’t argue with it. Gojo deserved the best, and to him, Utahime did, too.
“I’m waiting,” he said, breaking the silence that had befallen the room. “You’ve been pacing before the door for god knows how long when you should have been getting ready.”
“I got ready much faster than you did.”
“And you look beautiful.” He tilted his head to the side, eyeing you appreciatively. “Sometimes, I can’t believe you’re all grown up. And what a beautiful woman you’ve become.”
You smirked. “You’re looking at your mirror image after all.”
“Well, there’s that, of course.” He laughed slightly. “But I’m not just saying that because we’re basically the same person. You really are beautiful, baby sis.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, opting for it instead of his usual choice of mussing your hair since it has already been styled for the wedding.
You just shook your head. “Thank you, Satoru.”
“So, what did you want to talk about exactly?”
“The other day…” Your voice trailed off, thinking about what to say. It wasn’t that way before between you and your brother. He was always the easiest person to talk to, always open minded and optimistic about matters. But now that you were going to discuss something that he had vocally opposed, you were a bit scared of saying anything. Nevertheless, it wouldn’t do Nanami justice if you decided to hold back now, considering that he was more than ready to speak to your brother.
You’ve both initially decided to sit Gojo down and tell him about your decisions together, but you informed Nanami earlier in the day that you needed to have a proper conversation with him first. It wasn’t just your choice to be with Nanami that was the matter, and you wanted to get things straightened out with Gojo before he gets married.
“Yes?” he prompted.
“You said I don’t talk enough to you; that I don’t tell you things anymore.”
Gojo slowly nodded.
You breathed out. “Things changed. We can’t deny that. I grew up and you…well, you’ve decided you want to spend your life with Iori and build your own family.” Your lips curled up awkwardly as you tried to keep your emotions at bay. It was new territory having such talks with him when you’re used to your easy-going dynamic with him. “I’m scared, too. I mean, I can’t just bother you anytime anymore cause you’ll have your wife and eventually children to pay attention to and prioritize.”
He was taken aback by what you said, immediately drawing closer. “What are you saying, Y/N? You’re my sister. Nothing will change –”
“Our bond will not change, dude, but you have to admit that what I’m saying is true.” You took his hand in yours, squeezing it gently. You beamed at the fact that your fingers were structured in the same tapered manner as his. Even the shape of your fingernails were the same, just that his hands were bigger than your delicate ones. “What I’m saying is that even if you need to do that, I will be fine.”
“Of course, you will be. You’re my sister, and above that, you are your own person, and you’re stronger than you think. You’ve been handling things on your own for as long as I can remember.” He pouted, trying to act cute with you. “It’s disappointing, to be honest, because you’ve never really given me the chance to play my role in your life because you’re always the mature one.”
You were confused now. “What are you on about? You’re my only brother, but I can’t imagine anyone else holding that position in my life. You’re the best I could have asked for. I’ve always looked up to you. You’re my role model.”
“I am?”
“Yeah. The fuck are you so surprised for?” You snickered. “That aside, if you felt like I’ve been leaving you out, that’s not the intention at all. I always want you to be the first one to know what’s going on with my life…”
He clucked his tongue. “I understand you’re not doing it on purpose, kid. I’m just worried that you didn’t think I’m worth telling anything because, well, I’m not exactly a proper adult, am I?”
“You’re realizing that now that you’re about to get married?” you taunted him, jabbing your thumb towards the direction of the garden. “Should I tell Iori to call this whole thing off?”
He waved you aside. “Hey, don’t say that!”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “Anyway, there’s something I wanted to tell you for a while now.”
“How long is a while, exactly?”
“Years and years.” You flashed him a rueful smile. “I just couldn’t figure out how to tell you because I am not exactly sure how you feel about it although you’ve told me many times you were opposed to it. What I’m saying it that, I know that fact, but it’s the motivation behind it that is beyond my knowledge.”
Gojo’s eyes rounded, realizing what you were saying. “Are you…”
You nodded. “Yes, I am talking about Kento.”
He just blinked and stood up, pacing around in front of you for a while that you had to stop him from doing it. He had such a bad habit of doing that when he is in deep thought, and always in front of you, too. He was making you dizzy.
You seized him by the wrist. “Please say something.”
“I…”
“Why are you opposed to it?”
He stopped pacing and faced you, taking you by the shoulders, his eyes starting to water. “Y/N…”
“Oh no, are you gonna cry?”
He furiously blinked his tears back, the action almost comical if it weren’t for the serious look on his face. “Because you are my little sister. You think it will be easy for me to just hand you over to anyone? My friends aren’t exceptions to that although I trust them with everything that I have. I will always, always worry about you when it comes to that matter because I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to be taken advantage of, and I don’t want to have to break either Suguru or Kento’s bones when the time comes.”
“I can manage the latter on my own.” You sighed, finding your resolve strengthening. “But like you said, I’m this old now. I want you to understand that I know what I am doing and I am confident about my decisions. Honestly, I didn’t want to talk about this as if I am asking for your permission. This is what I meant when I said I will be fine. I am not saying you don’t have a say in my life, but I am telling you this time because I want you to know before anyone else does.”
“Suguru doesn’t know?” he asked, eyes sparkling.
“Don’t be petty. I tell him things I can’t tell you just like you tell him things you can’t tell me,” but you nodded anyway. “He doesn’t know yet…I think.”
“So…you and Kento…”
You nodded again. “I’m in love with him, Satoru. And he feels the same way.”
“You are?” His expressions softened, hugging you to him. “You’ve grown. Really grown.”
You returned the gesture, holding onto him tight. “Please don’t ever think that I am leaving you out of my life because I always want to tell you everything.”
Just then, he pulled back, his brows furrowing while his eyes narrowed at you. “So, why isn’t he the one telling me this? Where is that bastard?”
You shrugged. “He wants to be here. Trust me. I just asked him if I could talk to you first because I have issues to resolve with you apart from my relationship with him.”
Gojo exhaled, nodding in understanding. “I understand, Y/N. But are you certain?”
“Yes. I’m scared of hurting him, but I’ll do my best, I guess.”
“Hmm, yeah. Maybe you should tone down on your mischief, too. I don’t want him dying of stress because of you. He’s still precious to me.”
At that, you laughed. “I know.”
He poked you on the cheek. “Alright then. If that’s what makes you happy, I won’t stand in your way. You have my blessing.” His teeth clenched then. “But I’m still going to have to talk to him man to man in case he thinks he’s off the hook.”
“Worry about your wedding first,” you jibed.
“I almost forgot about that.”
“I’m telling Iori.”
He shook his head, feigning panic. “Don’t.”
You both ended up laughing, joking about the guests who were arriving at the garden, poking fun at the relatives you both detested but had no choice but to invite. Just like that, you were back to how it used to be, easily conversing and sharing the same sentiments about things and same penchant for devilry.
Soon, the organizer came to his room, informing him that he needed to go to the garden to prepare. You reached up and fixed his tie and jacket for him, holding him at arm’s length to appreciate your handiwork. “You’re all set.”
“Thank you.” He smiled wide but you saw the nervousness in his eyes. “I’m getting married!”
“You are.”
“I’m more anxious about seeing Kento after what you told me,” he stated dramatically.
You eyed him witheringly. “Shut up and pull yourself together.”
He snickered then. “Kidding. Let’s go.”
“Okay.”
The two of you walk to the garden, your arm around his. He stood at the spot just by the last row of seats with you, grinning at you when he saw you looking at Nanami who was already dutifully standing on his spot, speaking to Geto.
“Concentrate on your vows, yeah?” you told your brother.
“I’m off.”
“In case we don’t get to talk before you leave for your honeymoon,” you began, “Just know that I am waiting for the speedy arrival of my nieces and nephews.”
Gojo laughed at that, but nodded anyway and said, “I’ll do a good job, I promise.”
“And Satoru?”
“Yeah?”
“Love you.”
“I know, kid. I know.” He turned on his heels and walked towards his place at the front pews while you watched, his steps leading you towards the very man you would want to see standing there when the time comes, his halo of golden locks bright under the setting sun but you knew your future with him would be even more brilliant.
**
The familiar bars of Johann Pachelbel’s “Canon” began to play in a modified, slowed-down wedding version made especially for Gojo and Utahime’s wedding, played on the harp, piano and violin, cueing the beginning to the entrance of the bridal entourage. It began with the entrance of the flower girls who scattered petals of different flowers on the white carpet that lined the long aisle.
Arches and bouquets of flowers festooned the garden, with gossamer cloth hanging about, interlaced with live wisteria that hung down from the canopy along with fairy lights that progressively turned on as the sky grew darker. White and pink dominated the color palette as Utahime had wished and the same goes for the reception area. It was probably one of the most beautiful wedding setups Nanami has ever seen.
But his eyes weren’t on the ornaments. They were trained on the end of the walled garden, waiting for your ascent on the marble steps where the white carpet extended, the march made more dramatic by the organizers by opting for a meandering aisle instead of the traditional, straight walkway for the bride. And it did achieve the desired effect when you finally emerged from the steps and into view.
He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips upon finally seeing you clad in that familiar faded rose gown he had first seen being fitted on you to perfection. He kissed you while you wore that very article of clothing not long ago at the couturier’s shop, and though he thought back then that he has never seen anything more beautiful, he was amazed at the fact that you looked even more gorgeous in it as you glided towards the front.
He loved you so much it hurts, and although you’ve both professed your deep affections for one another and decided to take things head on together, he still felt like he was in the middle of a dream he didn’t want to wake up from. You came closer, and once more, he was back at the semi-outdoor ballroom the first day he came that week, beholding the goddess that was you but seemingly in a different light – brighter this time, overwhelming him to the point that he had to remind himself how to breathe when you finally looked his way and beamed unabashedly, your affections towards him unmasked, real and not under the guise of a game.
“Kento,” he heard Gojo say softly just then, the man’s blue eyes furtively glancing at him.
“Yes?” he answered in hushed tones.
“Hurt my baby sister and I’ll have your severed head hung by the gates of the estate,” he said. “Are we clear about that?”
Geto snickered, concealing it by facing the other way.
“Understood,” Nanami said seriously. “I’m counting on it.”
When you were near enough, you smiled at your brother and Geto before turning your attention to Nanami. You winked at him as you passed by before turning towards your spot opposite them across the aisle, your attention trained towards the point where you came from.
He couldn’t stop looking at you, not even when he felt Gojo hold onto his arm, squeezing tight as Utahime came into view. He didn’t mean to be insulting to his friends. She was beautiful in her wedding gown and he couldn’t help but be moved by the loving look that your brother had on his face as he watched his wife-to-be come closer, guided by her father who will give her away as the sun set. It was poetic. A new beginning after a beautiful end. He probably looked the same whenever his eyes would find you.
The ceremony carried on as everyone sat down, waiting for the couple to exchange their ‘I do’s.’ their vows, rings and the much-awaited kiss. It was making him emotional, thinking of the time when he himself would draw your veil and get to claim you as his for life in front of everyone you both loved and cared about. He couldn’t wait for it, and he may be getting ahead of himself, but he wanted what Gojo and Utahime had with you.
As the minister announced the pair man and wife, everyone applauded and cheered for them. He did so, too, chuckling when Geto whistled loudly, being his cheeky self. Just then, he nudged Nanami on the side, grinning impudently.
“Is it safe to assume you’re next?” he queried in the same manner.
Nanami rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Who knows? Someone might actually steal your heart in the next months and we’ll be seeing you crying as you watch your bride walk towards you by next year.”
Geto snickered at that. “Yeah, right. You looked like you wanted to jump Y/N and replace Satoru and Iori at the altar all this time.”
“Who wants to replace my brother and sister-in-law at the altar?” they heard you say, appearing out of nowhere, your head tilted to the side as you shifted your blue orbs between the two males, but before either of them could answer, you linked your arm with Nanami who smiled down at you blissfully. You returned the gesture, your cheeks blushing prettily under the twinkling lights overhead.
“I see you’ve figured things out.” Geto smirked, patting Nanami on the back just as Shoko came into view, taking the former by the arm, claiming she needed a smoke. She pulled him away, leaving you and Nanami to yourselves, winking as they walked away.
“So, you told him?” you asked, cocking your head towards the wide lawn where the pergolas were, built on three sides of the square and closed by an elevated area for the band, all surrounding a dance floor under a huge, white tent above, also adorned with thousands of lights. It was your design, solely for the wedding reception and a form of gift to the newlyweds.
“Satoru did indirectly when he said he’ll have my head hung at the gates of Gojo Manor if I hurt you.” He shook his head, laughing slightly. “Bastard had the gall to laugh at me, too.”
“He nearly cried when I told him earlier,” you said, regaling him with how your conversation with Gojo went. “He trusts you and is actually afraid I’ll hurt you, too.”
He shook his head. “It’s all part of the process, isn’t it?”
“Mhmm.”
“We’ll take it head on.” He held your hand, twining your fingers together.
You nodded, squeezing his larger hand. “We will.”
Just then, your friends emerged from the reception area with Noabara taking the lead, mischief drawn all over her face as she approached you. “I took care of the sitting arrangement,” she said to you then turned to Nanami. “Take care of Y/N. Make her cry and –”
“You’ll have my head?” Nanami supplemented but Nobara shook her head. “I’ll tan your hide. Satoru gets your head apparently.”
At that, Nanami laughed, nodding nonetheless. But to your surprise, she also turned her attention to you, holding you by the shoulders. “Are you still playing?”
“Nope.” You pressed your lips together, shaking your head slowly.
She smiled then. “Good.” She glanced at Nanami. “You’ve got you a good one here.”
“I know.”
They left you alone after that much to his relief, but then you said, “Wanna play a game?”
His eyes rounded and he felt tension again once he heard you say those familiar words, always the preamble to every single mischievous stunt you’ve ever pulled on everyone including him. He paused and looked at you. “I thought no more games?”
You smirked at him. “One more won’t hurt.”
He sighed, giving in. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear to god.”
“So, are you in?”
“When did I ever say no to you?”
You giggled. “Great.”
“What is it about this time?” he asked, indulging you.
“Whoever gets a rise out of Satoru first wins.”
“The stakes?”
You just winked suggestively at him.
**
You forfeited. For the first time, you lost in your own game. It counted – albeit momentary – because you initiated the game…said the very words that began everything that paved the way to the result you’ve always wanted. But you did not really consider it a loss when for the long run, you’ve gained the very person you’d always gladly lose to at any given time.
After you father offered a toast for the newlyweds, the speeches began, starting with Utahime’s parents then yours, eventually moving on to you, then the bride and groom’s shared close friends. Geto had been rather irreverent as usual, pointing out the things that both Gojo and Utahime supposedly disliked from one another yet brought them closer, making everyone laugh when Shoko came up the stage and began her speech, saying, “Opposites do attract.”
You sat on your table with Nanami, both of you waiting for your turns. He was next in line after Shoko, smirking at you as he stood up and walked towards the platform and began his piece by congratulating Gojo, “for landing a very gracious woman who has the most enduring patience I have ever known in all mankind, given the grief that Ieiri, Suguru and I had to endure before Iori came to his life.”
He continued on with his witty address, pretty much reflecting what Suguru said and entertaining the crowd enough when he started to express his gratitude. “While I know that this changes nothing between us as the best of friends – including your nature that tested one’s forbearance – I would like to say thank you for many things. Thank you because you are, well, you…” He did a dramatic eye roll.
The guests laughed.
“Thank you because you are a real person who offered friendship to quiet, boring old me,” he said, droning on about the things he appreciated about the couple before saying the things he was thankful to Gojo about. “And thank you, because without you, without our friendship, I wouldn’t have met the very person I also want to walk this earth with for the rest of my life.”
You would have fallen off your seat when Megumi playfully nudged you if it weren’t for Yuuji who also held onto your shoulders from behind your seat, shaking you excitedly.
“If it weren’t for one Gojo Satoru, I wouldn’t have met Y/N.”
You felt all eyes turn towards you, including your parents and your brother, heat suffusing your cheeks as you tried hard to keep yourself from smiling like an idiot for everyone to see. Nanami has outdone you this time, and you knew you didn’t have a chance to go against that when he had so publicly expressed how he felt about you.
“I love her with everything that I am,” he continued, “and I will continue to do so even without your threat to behead me.” He raised his glass. “To Iori and Satoru. May you have the happiest, most prosperous married life from today and for always.”
Geto whistled loudly while the guests applauded. You also stood up, clapping your hands slowly as you shook your head. You’ve lost big time, backed by the fact that your brother stood up raising his glass as he said, “I couldn’t have wished for a better future brother-in-law.” He then looked at you, smiling fondly.
Nanami got Gojo to state his approval for everyone to hear. You can’t win against that even if you nearly made the latter cry.
And now, you were just happy to be in Nanami’s arms as he swayed you both to the tune the jazz band was playing, your arms hanging around his shoulders and your fingers playing with the hair at the base of his head while he held you against him by the waist.
“So?” Nanami began. “How’s that for a final game?”
“Not bad,” you acceded, smirking at him. “I’ll admit defeat.”
“Damn right, you are.” He smiled down at you, his dark eyes reflecting the muted, xanthic lights that surrounded you. “I have a couple of things I’d want you to do for me, by the way.”
You nodded slowly, keeping a straight face at the mention of his prize. “Rules are rules.”
His brows furrowed slightly. “Then again, you haven’t told me what you wanted when you won a week ago.”
You grinned, burying your face on his chest, listening to the faint sound of his heart. “But I did get what I want.”
“And that is?”
You met his gaze from under your lashes. “You,” you stated in full confidence.
Nanami nodded, suppressing a smile. “If you say so.”
“I wouldn’t wish for anything else.” You pulled him towards you so you could peck him on the mouth. “Thank you.”
“I don’t know what for, but as always, anything for you.”
You chuckled at that. Knowing him, he’ll make good on his words for sure, so much so that you didn’t feel the least bit of worry where your future with him was concerned. “You have to learn how to say no to me.”
“I guess, but since I won, have I finally made it to the list of people you don’t mess with?” he asked.
“As promised, yes.”
“No more games?”
“No more games,” you repeated. “Although I have to say it keeps things interesting between us. Don’t you think so?”
You both dissolved in laughter, the merry mingling of your voices coming to a standstill when he bent down and cupped your cheeks, running his thumb over your cheek before staking his claim on your lips while you returned the gesture in kind, locked in each other’s arms, glad you both played the game. And won.
-THE END-
I would like to say thank you to everyone who read this and kept up with my erratic updating. It's been a good 6 weeks. Thanks!
*I used “you” here, but since my character is Gojo’s little sister who is established to be his female clone for reasons essential to the plot, she possesses the same blue eyes and white hair. I did not exactly want to create an OC (although technically, I did by describing Y/N), but I opted for the best of both worlds in this fic, leaning more towards the literary aspect of it as opposed to it just being reader/you-oriented. I hope this isn’t iffy to anyone, and yeah, i’m not being exclusive or whatever.
Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.
© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S “JUJUTSU KAISEN.” [20210814]
PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.
#nanami#nanami kento#nanami kento x you#nanami x you#nanami fluff#nanami smut#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk nanami#jjk nanami kento#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami kento#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#nanami fanfic#nanami fanfiction#nanami fic#nanami kento fanfic#nanami kento fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jjk fanfic#jjk fic#jjk fanfiction#gojo satoru#geto suguru
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
What it's like to be a dog AND a wolf
I have heard some therians claim that wolves and domestic dogs are "too similar", and if you think you're a wolf AND a dog then you're probably confused and deep down are only one or the other.
This post is not at all an apology or excuse directed towards those who say this - I have no desire to prove myself to people who invalidate other's experiences based on assumptions and biases. But I would imagine that some well-meaning folks might be interested in hearing about my experiences, so I genuinely want to share them.
When it comes down to it, I don't experience my wolf and dog types as being similar at all. I don't experience phantom sensations, and my types mainly express themselves as instincts and emotions. For me, my wolf type and its associated mental shifts feel feral and wild. I long for the outdoors, for hunting. I want to bare my teeth, to rend flesh and bone, to run light-footed through dense forests with trees arching overhead. In contrast, my border collie type and it's associated mental shifts feel so incredibly domestic. I long to lie in a dog bed, comfortably situated in a human home. I crave pets and scritches, chew toys, and praise from the humans in my life. In my most dog-like moments I come across as hyperactive and affectionate rather than wild.
It's hard to explain what it feels like to be wild. Maybe it's the aggression, a sense of fierceness. Maybe it's viewing the forest as home, longing to run effortlessly through the trees rather than stomping clumsily in the human way. Maybe it's imagining eating a deer carcass, and experiencing hunger rather than disgust. It's similarly hard to define how it feels to be domestic. Maybe it's affection, playfulness, and cuddliness. Maybe it's feeling like I belong in a human's home. Maybe it's feeling more desire to catch a frisbee than to hunt, to sleep in a soft dog bed rather than on hard earth, the enthusiasm and comfort that comes with subconsciously knowing I can live freely without needing to fight for survival. But for me, the two feelings are distinct enough that being wolf and being dog don't feel very similar at all.
I think my envisage shifts (internal visualization of my body without the physical sensations involved in a phantom shift) and noema (deep subconscious knowledge that isn't technically or entirely a memory) have also helped me pinpoint and understand my types. When I look at black wolves and border collies, my brain says "That's you!". When I imagine how I look, I think of a petite canine with long silky black and white fur, and a much larger canine with short black fur. These perceptions are another way that I perceive my dog and wolf types differently.
And as a side note... My fox type isn't the main point of this post, but I'll add some perspective about it since it is also a canine. Aside from noema and other emotional factors, size is the clearest and most obvious thing that differentiates my fox type. Before realizing I was a fox I mistook the mental and sensory shifts for cat shifts, because my perception of "my" size was more similar to a domestic cat than a wolf. My fox type is wild and involves strong hunting instincts in a way that is more similar to my wolf type than border collie type; however the size difference is undeniable.
I hope this rather disorganized ramble about my experiences resonates with some nonhumans, or satiates some folks' curiosity. I love the nonhuman and alterhuman community on here and really enjoy sharing bits of my not-so-human life with you all.
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
In Which I Attempt to Wreak Havoc Upon Panharmonium's Heart. Or Something.
Because I am an awesome friend, clearly, and possibly making people sad/verklempt is definitely an excellent way to (belatedly 😔 but I did start before the 15th!) celebrate Kakashi's birthday, right? ;)
I will admit up front that this is nowhere near as deftly structured and compiled as your Kakashi fanmix, @panharmonium, but that is precisely why I'm not even going to try to organize all these songs into individual playlists. Yet. Plus, I have a tendency to over-explain so this way I can better expound on why certain songs remind me of certain characters. Sorry that I sorta went a little... overboard?
Everything--except a few that aren't available on spotify, I'll link to them directly--can be listened to HERE.
What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson | Kakashi
→ I may be a little biased with this one because it fits SO many of my favorite characters so well, somehow, but there's just something about the upbeat/tongue-in-cheek musical cues/delivery of lines such as 'I visit hell on a daily basis, and I see the sadness in all your faces' that just feels so Kakashi to me.
Happy Ending - MIKA | Kakashi
→ This is presumably a breakup song, but I enjoy it so much more in a non-romantic context (and the song itself isn't really boxed in with overtly romantic framing, so I appreciate that!). Anyway, some very important instructions IMO for listening to this with Kakashi in mind: everything before the bridge is about Kakashi up through his ANBU years, but when you get to the 'little bit of love' refrain, picture Kakashi meeting Tenzo, and then becoming Team 7's sensei, opening back up to Gai, adopting all the other leaf genin, assimilating Sai and Yamato into Team 7, and it keeps building with Kakashi gaining more and more loved ones to fill the hole in his heart, and then cry tears of joy with me! Just my personal suggestion. :D
Light - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team 7 (/all his kids)
with every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath
→ I've seen this song used for ship vids and I'm all ????? about that because this is clearly a song about the love you have for your child! But I suppose if one of my favorite pastimes is aggressively re-interpreting love songs in non-romantic ways, I can't begrudge the opposite process... too much, lol.
Heroes - MIKA | Team Minato
your blood on me/and my blood on you/but to make you bleed/the only thing I wouldn't do/.../I wish there was a way/to give you a hand to hold/'cause you don't have to die in your glory/die, to never grow old
Long Lost Friends - Transit | Kakashi & Obito
how long/do you have to say that/this is not the person I used to know/you are not the person I used to know/.../because lately, you've been looking at me like you've seen a ghost/and isn't it obvious who's been missing who the most
→ What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck!
Against the Voices - Switchfoot | Kakashi
'cause everybody knows/the hardest war to fight/is the fight to be yourself/when the voices try to turn you into someone else
Out of the Darkness - Matthew and the Atlas | Obito? Yamato? Kakashi? Itachi & Sasuke? Naruto & Kurama?
→ I'm a bit undecided about this one, or if I should just not worry about choosing one character and just let myself feel all the "inner darkness is not an innate characteristic, Danzo! They're just grieving/in a lot of pain, and they can find their way out of that dark place!" feels.
Save A Place - 1969 | Kakashi & Sasuke
so I'll keep away and save a place for you/and I'll only make the same mistakes as you/.../when all the blood all over your fingers is dried up/the pain will still linger
→ I'm not uber-confident in picking out really fitting Kakashi & Sasuke songs yet, but I hope this hits a lot of the right notes for you. :)
Thrive - Switchfoot | Kakashi
I'm always close, but I'm never enough/I'm always in line, but I'm never in love/I get so down, but I won't give up/I get so down, but I won't give up
→ See, it says right there that he's never in love! Not the crux of the song, and he's not always 'in line' either, but still! :)
Disarm - The Civil Wars | Kakashi & Obito
the years burn, burn, burn
→ I don't know how I keep collecting fictional relationships that work so well for this song, but literally every single line of this song hits so hard for these two?? Will never recover from this. (Also, I usually disregard when 'my love' pops up in the last line of the chorus, as the mood dictates. :) It's pretty incidental as is IMO.)
Renaissance - Paolo Buonvino & Skin | Sakumo & Obito & Kakashi & Naruto
let me show you one last time/let me show you one last sign/you can find it/I can't say that I can change the world/but if you let me, I can make another world for us/let me suffer all for you/make this vision all brand new/we can fight them/I can't say that I can win it all, [but] come with me and I will make my words stand tall
→ Okay, this is a very odd choice given that it's actually the theme song for a different show about the Italian renaissance (if you happen to see this, Mirjam, don't hate me!), but this could be IT! The "those who break the rules are scum, but those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum" anthem that's all about building a better world based on these principles! I really hope our sharing-a-brain talent translates to listening to this song in this way because I am feeling SOME KIND of way about this!
The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos | Kakashi
→ I really liked the song you chose from this album for your fanmix, so now I've feeling a tiny bit too on-the-nose with my choice, but I guess this is just a Kakashi album all around. 😆
Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route | Kakashi(+ Obito) & Sasuke(+ Itachi)
memories as heavy as a stone/ I am empty, in my end you are my beginning
This Is Home - Switchfoot | Yamato & Kakashi (+ Team 7)
and now, after all my searching/after all my questions/I'm gonna call it home
→ All finding-where-you-belong songs are actually Yamato songs. True story!
Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot | Obito
you have one life left to leave/you have one life left to lead
→ Could this be any more perfect for Obito? It even has creepy-old-man!Madara!
Pluto - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi
Always Gold - Radical Face | Kakashi & Obito/Sasuke & Itachi/Naruto & Sasuke
all my life, I've never known where you've been/there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend/and I heard you say, right when you left that day/does everything go away?/yeah, everything goes away/but I'm going to be here till forever/so just call when you're around
→ ...but mostly Kakashi & Obito because 'there were holes in you' 😭😭😭
Lemon Boy - Cavetown | Yamato & Kakashi
→ You already know the delights of this song of course, but I gots to be comprehensive. :)
Everywhere I Go - Lissie/cover by Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team Minato
danger will follow me now everywhere I go/angels will call on me and take me to my home/well, these tired eyes just want to remain closed
→ I chose the Sleeping At Last cover for maximum angst, 'cause sometimes it be like that.
Uneven Odds - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi
maybe your light is a seed, and the darkness the dirt, in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth
→ ...just like an earth style: mud wall :') Okay, okay, bad jokes aside, the seed metaphor of course makes me want to associate it with Tenzo, but this is clearly a Kakashi song!
Twenty-four - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito
life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago/and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago/still I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/you're raising the dead in me/I wanna see miracles/to see the world change/wrestled the angel for more than a name/for more than a feeling, for more than a cause/I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/and you're raising the dead in me
I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) - John Rzeznik | Kakashi
and how can they say I never change?/they're the ones that stay the same/.../they can't tell me who to be/'cause I'm not what they see/.../and their words are just whispers/and lies that I'll never believe
→ Yeah, I might've accidentally imprinted on Treasure Planet as a 14 year old, and then someone made sure this song would forever live in my heart by making a fanvid of it with my favorite character from my robin hood show, but! He's still here!
See You Again - Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) | Kakashi & Obito/Team Minato
how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?/everything I went through, you were standing there by my side/and now you gon' be with me for the last ride
→ I am being very unoriginal here, and there are in fact already fanvids made for these relationships set to this song (along with many others featuring different Naruto relationships), but I don't think I'll be able to rest until I translate the movie playing in my head whenever I hear this song now into an actually watchable format. After all, they have come a long way from where they began, and I intend to make that both as touching and ironically hilarious as possible!
Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers | Kakashi
→ Admittedly, I got this idea from a magnificently crafted fanvid done for my robin hood show, but I genuinely think it would be really interesting to make something similar for Kakashi centered around the time he technically died but got better? I don't know how to explain it, but I think it fits quite well.
30 Lives - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi & all the people he's loved and lost
→ can be listened to here.
A Pound of Flesh - Radical Face | Kakashi
then today I wake up feeling easy/and find I'm on more familiar roads/I got a darkness wrapped inside me/but now it ain't so hard to let it go/so keep a candle burning in the window/I'm almost home
Hold Back The River - James Bay | Kakashi & life getting in the way of him being with his precious people (you may be sensing a pattern here)
→ @the road of life: Let! Kakashi! And his People! Hold! Each! Other!!! Also, 'tried to square not being there, but think that I should have been' is absolutely about Sasuke's defection and Kakashi adding it to his long list of undeserving self-recriminations.
The Fall - Imagine Dragons | Yamato & Kakashi
→ 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Shadowman - K's Choice | could work equally well for Kakashi or Obito, I think
any time tomorrow a part of me will die/and a new one will be born/any time tomorrow/I'll get sick of asking why/sick of all the darkness I have worn/any time tomorrow/I will try to do what's right/making sense of all I can/any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light/I just might/.../and doesn't it make you sad?/to see so much love denied/see nothing but a shadowman inside
Paint - The Paper Kites | Kakashi & Team 7
still there's a wound and I'm moving slow/though it don't show, though it don't show/I've got a hole where nothing grows,/how little you know, how little you know
→ A song for just how much Team 7 doesn't know about their sensei.
Always Find Me Here - Transit | Kakashi
→ ...most likely at the memorial stone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (why am I like this)
Taste - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi
it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry/a careful pruning of my dead leaves/it’s holy ground, a treasure chest/I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface/like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering/we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again/we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside
Help - Hurts | Yamato & Kakashi
take my hand and lead the way/out of the darkness and into the light of the day/.../'cause I know what I've been missing/and I know that I should try/but there's hope in this admission/and there's freedom in your eyes/.../I can feel the darkness coming/and I'm afraid of myself/call my name and I'll come running/'cause I just need some help
→ NO ONE TOUCHE ME.
Your Soul - RHODES | A mish-mash of Kakashi & Tenzo and Rin & Obito & Kakashi
and Gai & Kakashi vibes?
→ So like, 'oh you know when you're alone/I'm holding on and on and on and on/to your soul' reminded me of your 'when you're all alone...the only thing you really think about is dying' 'but when there are two of you...the only thing you can think about is surviving.' and now kakashi - who just saved his life - is asking him 'did you want to die' and yamato is saying 'no' there are two of them and yamato wants to SURVIVE. tags as well as Gai's steadfastness as a friend, and 'I just wanna hold your hand' made me think of Rin's "Well then, I'm just going to have to connect the two of you." while holding their hands, and the sunlight/'soul shine'/'your light' motif is just A Lot in this song!!
7 Years - Lukas Graham | Kakashi
→ Alright, yeah, there are already approximately a gazillion pre-existing Naruto AMVs for this song and even one or two focusing on Kakashi, but they don't capitalize on all the angst possibilities in many of the lyrics or reach the fluff potential of 'will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me [when I'm old]' and I cannot abide that!
Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers | Kakashi & Sasuke
→ Okay, on one hand, this song is One Big Oof. But I do like the (potentially odd) way I've conceptualized it for Kakashi & Sasuke? Like, the first half is Kakashi going through all the tragedies in his life and getting lost in ANBU, but then in the second half it transitions to him wanting to prevent Sasuke from having to be as alone as Kakashi once was and they can face life together? It makes me emotional!
Trust Me - The Fray | Kakashi & Obito
I found a friend, or should I say a foe?/said there's a few things you should know/we don't want you to see/we come, and we go/here today, gone tomorrow
→ There are a few lines that call Tenzo & Kakashi to mind, but mostly it's Obito & Kakashi.
The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?) - Snow Patrol | Kakashi
→ I had to, right? My mindscape is a little murky/scattered about what specifically I want to think about when I listen to this, but obviously it has to do with Kakashi in one way or another.
Kettering - The Antlers | Team Minato(???)
→ Honestly not sure if this will make any sense, but yeah, vague team minato vibes?
Swans - Unkle Bob | Kakashi & Obito/Rin/Minato/Kushina/Sakumo
→ They should be by his side always!!!
Looking Too Closely - Fink | Kakashi
→ I honestly feel rather ambivalent about this one too, but I can't deny 'truth is like blood underneath your fingernails/and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself/looking too closely' always destroys me because... well, you know. I love suffering. :(
Souvenirs - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito & Rin
wolves - Switchfoot | Kakashi
snowfall for the battlefield/roses for the father's sons/see them red on the ground:/bleeding/when the revolution came/we were more than hungry men/we were hoping for more:/bleeding/end. begin again./all of my world is collision and spin/hope is a world that has yet to begin/awaken, oh sleeper/awaken, oh sleeper/a new day begins
→ I wanted a wolf-related song too. :)
PRODIGAL SOUL - Switchfoot | Obito, Itachi, & Sasuke; just all them wayward Uchiha boys
Coming Down - Dear Euphoria | kid!Kakashi & his relationships
the shell/that I wore/it wasn't for fun/it wasn't to make you/stick around/it was for survival/it was what I've learnt/it was for the sun/.../our love has grown/our love has flown
→ Another one I'm a little unsure of whether it makes sense outside of my head or not, but I like the vibes?
Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons | Kakashi & Yamato?
→ Hmm, can I maybe submit this as a Kakashi-&-Yamato-just-need-to-mske-it-through-this-war-so-they-can-have-a-bright-bright-future song?
All Is Well (It's Only Blood) - Radical Face | Kakashi
→ ...he said as he's bleeding out or after he's thrown himself in the line of fire protecting someone he thinks is a better person than himself...
Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi
when the hour is nigh/and hopelessness is sinking in/and the wolves all cry/to fill the night with hollering/when your eyes are red/and emptiness is all you know/with the darkness fed/I will be your scarecrow/you tell me to hold on/oh, you tell me to hold on/but innocence is gone/and what was right is wrong
→ In a similar vein to the previous song. But goodness gracious! Were they NOT straight up describing Kakashi here?
Amaryllis - Shinedown | Yamato & Kakashi
→ Just tossing this one out there, not sure if it will make sense or if it's a reach... but I like it?
lost 'cause - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Sasuke
are we a lost cause?/or are we just lost 'cause/we won't be the future we refuse to see?/and if I'm your lost cause/it'll be your lost 'cause/you won't see me as I am, the possibility/that I'm not the enemy
→ 214 feels. (And before and after that, but yeah.)
Through the Ghost - Shinedown | Kakashi & Obito
so many silent sorrows/you never hear from again/and now that you've lost tomorrow/is yesterday still a friend?/.../everything that mattered is just/a city of dust/covering both of us/did you hide yourself away?/I can't see you anymore/.../did you hide yourself away?/are you living through the ghost?/did you finally find a place/above the shadows so the world will never know?/the world will never know you like I do ... like I still do
Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men | Kakashi
→ Just Kakashi having little chats with his ghosts, totally the most heartwarming way to conclude this section. 😅
Sleepyhead - Passion Pit | Kakashi
→ Just kidding! Here's a slightly less morbid song for the Most Tired Boy Of Them All.™ (Random aside: this was my customary song to listen to on my walks to 8AM organic chemistry classes; I found it strangely soothing! On a different occasion, after a particularly long day for her, one of my roommates didn't have the energy to make it to her bed but nevertheless requested a lullaby from us. So I obliged by playing this song for her, but she didn't seem to gain the same peace of mind from it as I did. 😄 I know it's not my place to propose anything like this, but it does amuse me to imagine bookends!Kakashi in these situations, even though it's not OChem classes he has to go to.)
General/Miscellaneous:
Rise Above It - Switchfoot | Ensemble
don't care what they're telling me/we can be what we want to be/.../just because it's law doesn't mean that it's fair/.../don't believe the system's on your side/.../the curse is spoken/the system's broken; rise above it
→ I mean, how could I not think about Naruto when this song also has the lines 'hear us sing tonight like the last night on earth/we will rise like the tide/like dead men coming back to life/we are rising, rising'? It's fun to be literal sometimes!
Doorways - Radical Face | Allllll the traumatized children
→ Someone has to put all those tragic childhood flashbacks to good use, after all.
Ghost Towns - Radical Face | take your pick of Itachi, Sasuke, or Post-Kannabi-Bridge!Obito
there's no comin' home/with a name like mine/I still think of you/but everyone knows/yeah everyone knows/if you care, let it go
Blinding Light - Switchfoot | Hey, Hiruzen? You may have coined the phrase, "children are the king" but I don't think you truly understand it... (insert Princess Bride joke here)
hey boy, don't believe them/we're the nation that eats our youth/.../still looking for the blinding light/still looking for the reason why/still looking for the sun to shine/all my life I've been living in the darkest night/still looking for the blinding light/to take me higher and higher
Brother's Blood - Kevin Devine | EVERYONE
→ ...but certainly so much you could do with Itachi & Sasuke, Obito & Kakashi, Shisui & Itachi, even Hashirama & Madara! Sakumo's teammates turning their backs on him and saying 'I don't know one thing about my brother's blood'?!?! There are SO MANY ideas I have for this song! It gives me chills and makes my brain scream.
We Need Each Other - Sanctus Real | Ensemble
→ Already mentioned this one to you, but I have to include it here for thoroughness' sake!
Whispering - Alex Clare | the Hidden Leaf's lost/ostracized children/orphans
who will care for the falling?/who will care for the falling leaves?
So this is probably a strange concept to come up with and apply to this song, but the 'whispering, whispering, whispering' parts brought Konaha's virulent gossiping/passing judgement about others and often kids they don't even know problem to mind, too, and yeah?
The World You Want - Switchfoot | Ensemble
→ If I were to make a fanvid set to this song, I would definitely keep a broad focus, but I can't deny that the lines 'you start to look like what you believe, you float through time like a stream, if the waters of time are made up by you and I, I could change the world for you, you change it for me' FOR SURE has strong Obito & Kakashi/Kakashi & Tenzo vibes.
Red Eyes - Switchfoot | Ensemble, but definitely many dashes of Uchihas ��
→ I would like to thank Masashi Kishimoto for creating a world where red eyes are a Thing of Importance so I can one day make a fanvid using this song in not just the tired or teary bloodshot-red eyes way, but in a very literal sense too.
TAKE MY FIRE - Switchfoot | The Will of Fire
→ 'Cause I think I'm sooooo clever. 😄
Above The Clouds Of Pompeii - Bear's Den | various parent & child relationships
→ This obviously derives from the not-caring-about-your-female-characters problem, but it always gets me that all the single parents in the Naruto universe are almost invariably the fathers! I guess sometimes you can safely guess that the mothers are still alive/exist, but either way we hardly ever get to see them. :/ The one exception I can think of right now is Kurenai, but maybe I'm forgetting another conspicuous single mother. Anyway, I don't know if this helps or hinders more a potential Naruto fanvid for this song, but regardless, it still gives me feelings?
Who We Are - Switchfoot | Ensemble
→ It just makes me inordinately happy that the chorus for this song starts with 'who we are (in the fever of our youth)', you know? :D
Brother - Kodaline | all the friendships we can stuff in here and then some
→ Quite a well known song I'm pretty sure, but I love how many dynamics one could showcase in a potential fanvid of this. And, not gonna lie, 'oh brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' deserves to be used in some sort of Tenzo 'n' Kakashi or Team Ro fan creation!
Special Bonus:
Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine | Kakashi & Obito
→ I'm not sure whether I would have realized how well this works for Kakashi & Obito on my own, funnily enough, but then I found this fanvid of it (containing only scenes you've seen naturally!) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so well done!
youtube
#I do apologize for all the switchfoot/other repeated bands or artists#I wanted this to be really varied but switchfoot just has my number I guess?#I'd like to say I got it all out of my system now since I'll likely have to do a part two at some point#but that's not completely true *rubs back of head sheepishly*#also all the mentions of fanvid creation are just because I've always been a heavily visual learner/how I process stuff#--ironic given my visual disability--#so I suppose when my brain gets attached to something that's in an auditory medium it still has to find a way to add in a visual component?#anyway I hope this 60+ songs behemoth of a playlist is not too overwhelming and that the musical styles are somewhat up your alley!#I swear I'm going to jump back into our Kakashi & Yamato conversations now!#turns out I really suck at multitasking sometimes /0\#kakashi hatake#obito uchiha#team minato#kakashi 'n' obito#kakashi 'n' rin#kakashi 'n' tenzo#gai 'n' kakashi#sakumo hatake#naruto uzumaki#kakashi 'n' sasuke#kakashi 'n' sakumo#kakashi 'n' naruto#kakashi 'n' minato#Itachi 'n' Sasuke#itachi uchiha#itachi 'n' shisui#yamato#tenzo#sasuke uchiha#sakura haruno
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 1,424 times in 2021
745 posts created (52%)
679 posts reblogged (48%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 0.9 posts.
I added 1,032 tags in 2021
#godzilla - 310 posts
#godzilla vs kong - 112 posts
#kong - 107 posts
#king kong - 97 posts
#anon ask - 90 posts
#mothra - 79 posts
#king ghidorah - 66 posts
#perish speaks - 65 posts
#gvk - 53 posts
#rodan - 53 posts
Longest Tag: 134 characters
#ima hide this in the tags but honestly it sucks putting so much effort into my works and barely get any reaction. its disheartening...
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Groomer in the Godzilla Fandom
Set your biases towards me aside as I have been given horrible information as far as the type of person this user is. @zillothekajiu is a 20 year old man (who has turned 20 as of February 20, 2021) has been in two confirmed relationships with minors in our community.
He confirms his age in this post here:
Before this post was made, he was in a public relationship with the young creator known as @xxancienttitanxx. Her character, Nightmare, is seen being drawn in ship art with Zillo’s persona/oc.
I have also gained information from Titan herself exposing not only his age but her own as well. As you can see, I did not react kindly.
While the exact time the two of them got into a relationship is unclear, Titan only recently turned 14 as of January 30th, 2021. Regardless, Zillo was still a 19 year old dating a 14 year old if they got together after that. If before, this means he was 19 while she was only 13.
At some point Titan decided to break up with him. She informed me he was very demanding of attention and would try to message her at late hours during school nights. This information Titan wished I did not share the conversation between her and I.
Earlier today, I was messaged by @rihannachubunnysposts “mother”. While this information is up to skepticism, that still doesn’t change the fact of what is going on.
As of writing this, Zilla and Rihannachu have a public romantic relationship. Several post dedicated to her have been posted on both his blogs.
While talking to Rihannachu during one of her livestreams, she informed me that she was atleast 15. While I have no true confirmation, it is understood that she is a child. If you listen to her livestreams, she sounds very young.
It was today that her “mother” gave me another number for her age. The mother was reaching out to me via my nsfw account because Rihannachu had blocked my main. At that time, I was confronting Rihannachu about posting images of her face on the internet (which the mother was asking about).
After that, she was quick to tell me not only the age of her daughter but of herself as well.
It is hinted that English is not their first language, so the odd wording makes sense. However, with this new number means that we can safely assume that Rihanna is within the age range of 10 to 15 years old. Very much so a minor that a 20 year old man should NOT be “dating”.
These are his two accounts that he is currently active on.
Regardless of what you think of me personally, I am calling upon the community to get this creep out. IT IS CONFIRMED! This isn’t speculation or slander. This man has two cases of dating CHILDREN. Report him. Block him! Chase him from this community and help protect our children from monsters like him.
I’m flooding the tags in hopes that as many people as possible see this.
259 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 15:50:54 GMT
#4
Q-Force? Bisexual Stamp of Approval
So you guys remember that horrible trailer for the show “Q-Force”, right? The one where they made a lot of us prefer to just be called slurs instead?
Well turns out, once again, Netflix and marketing has purposely made horrible trailers for this show. It’s not the best, but it is a pretty good show for the demographic it’s aiming towards.
At first glance, the characters do fit into stereotypes, but eventually you kinda get over them as the show makes sure to flesh them out side of their obvious tropes.
The show actually tackles the real world ideas of people within the government pretty much getting sidelined or abused due to their queerness. Now it is very literal but still a decent attempt.
There are the typical overly sexual moments literally here and there, but oddly enough after about episode 5 it stops trying to show needless nudity in your face.
It’s not a perfect show, but it really does feel like there was more than one LGBTQA+ member in the writer’s room. I highly recommend it.
Bonus Points for actually making me laugh out loud several times.
266 notes • Posted 2021-09-04 00:44:38 GMT
#3
Mothra: Don't tell me you two destroyed Hong Kong and killed thousands over a petty rivalry.
Godzilla:
Kong:
Mothra: Well?
Godzilla: You told us not to tell you, so we aren't.
Kong: Mhm mhm.
290 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 22:19:09 GMT
#2
tumblr_video
I saw my chance and took it.
329 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 21:58:20 GMT
#1
This community doesn’t pass the vibe check
362 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 01:22:54 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
#my 2021 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#I'm extremely disappointed#i had to delete all the images to even get this thing to post#literally my top post literally the very things I did not wish to be known for#ugh
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ooh~ Do I see secret order up in the menu? Well don’t mind if I do! I‘ll order a Malleus Draconia x Reader where Malleus finds out that he isn’t the only fae that is from royal blood. If the tea satisfies my thirst maybe I’ll become a regular to your shop. I hope you don’t disappoint me~! (Wow this was fun to write lol)
°•°•°•𝑭𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒚 𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒛•°•°•°
Malleus Draconia x Reader Scenario
Note: I'm sorry this took long (╥﹏╥) I had to rewrite it 2 times because my writing block was phenomenal lmao- ok but it's very hard trying to make something short... Tbh I prefer making very long time consuming fiction which is- ಠ_｣ಠ but I'm trying to improve ok?! Anyways I hope you enjoy this brainrot fic lol..
[ 𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝙸𝚗𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚊 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎! ]
A sunny afternoon at the lush gardens of night raven collage, the clear blue skies with a sunlit gardens beneath as the cicadas chirped in summer. An afternoon tea with the company of Malleus, nothing special in the least. But not for you...
Weariness and anxiety felt like it could get the best of you in any moment. Colors that drained your face with an evident look of unease plastered across your face. Malleus would be blind not to notice you of all people, to have a look of distress visibly seen from your face.
"Y/n is there something wrong?" With a gentle touch of his hands, doubt and hesitation felt like it melted the worried away, calming the unease you felt in your heart. But a question still lingered in your mind whether it was good to keep your secret for this long. But... Maybe telling him now will be fine? Well... a try is better than nothing right?
"Malleus I've got something to confess... Would that be fine?" Looking down on your cup, nervousness filling your system, but somehow you felt your heart grew a little lighter with the thought malleus of finally knowing a side of you that you've hidden for so long. Let's just hope he won't be disappointed.
"Malleus... Actually... I'm also fae Prince/Princess from Y/Kingdom..." Unwavering eyes stared at the fae before them.
A fae kingdom? You were a fae? How come he didn't know? He was shocked, Baffled perhaps...
Perplexed from the series of words that was said, eyes narrowed and lips agape from shock. It wasn't really the bad type of surprise, it was the good type of bewilderment that never failed to amaze him.
A part of malleus somehow knew something was different about you... The small whispers of voices screaming how special you were for him. Maybe it was because of the dazzling glint in your eyes when you meet gazes... Maybe it was your golden stardust that leaves remnants of light in his dull world he used to live in... Maybe it was because of the mystifying aura you radiate that left him wanting for more of your touch.
You will never know the impact you left in the eyes of Malleus... A light he'll hold closely to his heart in the midst of this mundane world.
But who would've thought that you were a fae with royal blood all along? How baffling it was to fool him for all this time. Surely Malleus just grows curious and curiouser with your very existence... An existence he'll never get enough of... An existence he's willing to cherish forever...
An existence he can cherish forever.
"Wait... Are you disappointed? I know... I'm sorry for hiding it for this long, but I just thought-" Trying to reason out yourself in hopes of forgiveness, who would've expect to see Malleus burst out into laughter with the biggest grin on his face... an ear to ear smile like a little child given sweets.
In a hitch of a second, a hand grabs you by your waist and waltz you away from your seat. Like a swift haze of daydreams, Malleus held unto you like the most precious thing in the world.
A hum of a familiar melody as the both of you waltz in the lush gardens... It was surreal experiencing a scene from a fairy tale, but the mystical feeling was something that you'll never forget. You can't help but smile from the joy that was left in the moment.
Malleus hummed a melodic tune you both knew well... Such feelings and sheer delight washing the both of you waltzing in the gardens. Putting a head on your shoulder, his heartbeat resonating with yours. "Of course I'm not disappointed... In fact I'm glad... I'm glad you can stay by my side forever... I love you my Prince/Princess..."
Who would've thought this moment could've gotten better? These pink feelings blooming felt like a magical eternal spring only the two of you share... The feeling of anxiety being washed down with love was the best feeling you could've asked for... How you both wish time would stop and relive this moments forever.
With the last step of the waltz and the humming of melodies closing to it's end, leaves flew in the wind on the sunlit scenery at daytime. Time felt like it stopped swaying by the arms of the one you love. Within a hitch of a second, those very arms lift you up the air. The brightest smile radiating joy right in front of you... a smile that melted you in the moment...
Heartfelt feelings finally sinking in, warmth fills up your heart with love and contentedness. You truly felt thankful and relieved that Malleus accepted you with open arms. Brushing his raven locks aside, tucking the dark strands behind his ears, "Malleus, I love you!" sincerity and wholeheartedness fills up your words... I hope my feelings reaches you...
With a chuckle leaving his lips a blissful reply was said. “Well then... Y/n, Say, If I were to marry you one day, I hope you accept my feelings too... I love you too my Prince/Princess...”
With a kiss on the forehead, A magical memory was made never to be forgotten...
End
Take a wild guess on what Malleus was humming... I won't even tell cuz it's too obvious lol. Sigh.... I'm such a slow writer, shame on me.... But I'm busy with real life ok??? So pls stone me gently(´༎ຶ ༎ຶ)
(oh yes, this was fun to write... Trying my hardest best not to self insert- but on my defense, I can't help be biased when I write about the character I stan hard(ب_ب)
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst wonderland#disney twst#malleus draconia#twst imagines#twst fanfic#twst malleus#twisted wonderland malleus#twst x reader#malleus draconia x reader#malleus x reader
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
Another list! Of stuff I liked about Supergirl ep. 6x03, “Phantom Menaces”! AKA:
Spoilers!
WOW HEY WOW I LOVED THIS EPISODE.
BECAUSE EVERYONE IS HAVING FEELINGS.
(This is gonna be all over the place I can tell, apologies in advance for poor organization)
Okay, so! Right off the bat (‘ha ha’ but like, in a sad way) we learn that poor Silas has been Phantom’d. :C
We then get even MORE Phantom action back in the actual Phantom Zone--Kara’s plan to literally grab a ride doesn’t go over so well WHICH LEADS TO!
Kara making a Phantom Zone Friend! Yay! :D
Pretty much immediately on board with Nixly’s (I refuse to try and spell out her full name) chaotic energy. Brilliant. Amazing. 10/10, hope she’s not secretly evil.
Kara’s physical vulnerability bringin’ in those “Human for a Day” vibes, yes, good, yes.
Then we’re BACK AT THE TOWER and things aren’t looking great for Silas! J’onn is blocking out his emotions! Brainy is neck deep in his!
AND SPEAKING OF FEELINGS.
ALEX.
WITH THE CRYSTAL.
OOOOooOOooOOH NooOOOOOOOOOO
Side note: Love that Kara’s last will and testament is like, ‘Four for you, Eliza and Alex Danvers!’
‘Aaaaaand none for Jeremiah, okay bye.’
Puttin’ a pin in the Luthor stuff. We’ll get to it.
Back to the Tower! Alright, first and foremost, probably a silly thing but I’m glad the Super Friends are just...dressed casually.
I was concerned at the outset of this season that we’d see them all in their Super Suits™ most of the time because everyone’s a vigilante now, but fortunately that is not the case!
Appreciate that the Phantoms are actually a particular type of alien. As far as I know, ‘Zulian Maletarians’ are original to the show--no reference to preexisting DC stuff.
Something I noticed upon a re-watch--my suspension of disbelief allows for the physical phantom transformation...but they also all sprout matching dark robes???
Sure, Jan.
Anyways. Then WEAPONS GRADE ANGST, as Alex has like, combo PTSD/guilt trip reaction to Phantom’d Silas.
Just like. The frozen, helpless look?
NOW I’M HAVING FEELINGS, HOW DARE.
And the hits keep comin’, cause we’ve got a balcony talk between J’onn and Alex but it’s tense and sad and gosh I love it.
Back in Kara’s Phantom Zone Adventure, love her Wizard of Oz-esque gathering of companions on her way to see the Wizard find an escape.
This week it felt like there was a better handle on the close-ups? Like, they were pretty apparent in 6x02. Here, they’re a little less obvious. (Or maybe I’m just getting used to them IDK. XD)
Az-Rel is a deep Detective Comics Comics cut--a Kryptonian prisoner in the Phantom Zone who has pyrokinesis!
(tHEy DoNT ReSpECT tHe cOMicS!!! Except that they do, and y’all don’t even NOTICE.)
Glad that both Kelly and M’gann had plot stuff to do this week, instead of just offering emotional support to everyone else.
I forgot to mention it last week so I’ll just quickly mention that I like the glow-y purple lights in the Tower. Very nice touch, J’onn.
(But how is he affording this?)
(And for that matter...are Kara and Nia now the only members of the Super Friends with jobs?)
I’ll dispense with the linear approach because the back-and-forth between plotlines is getting to be a bit much, SO!
On the Kelly and M’gann note: Again, really liked that they’re not simply there to be cheerleaders for the other characters. M’gann still feels a little like she’s at the mercy of plot whims, but. Progress!
And then Kelly! I mentioned this last season--I like that they’ve built up her character such that her inclusion in like. Bad-guy fights makes sense, even though she’s maybe not as directly connected to the action as other members of the Super Friends, being more ‘team CatCo/Obsidian’ than ‘Tower’
(Spoiler-y info suggests that will change as the season progresses so we’ll see how that goes!)
I liked this Final Phantom Fight more than the one in 6x02--the direction/blocking felt a little less ‘everyone stand on your marks in a line and shoot up at the CGI stuff’.
I mean it was still essentially that, but. Just worked a bit better here, IMO.
And Alex can quick-change now! Love that it has the red glow of Martian shapeshifting.
Oliver Queen out there somewhere in the afterlife, seething with jealousy.
(Jumping back, just think it’s funny that, presumably, emergency services got a call about the Phantoms like, ‘911, what’s your emergency?’ ‘We’ve got hostile ghosts!’)
Alright, circling back to the Luthors!
Brainy and Lena are feeling their feelings, folks.
Loved all Brainy’s stuff. Particularly, his enraged, “I hate him! I hate him!” and then his quieter, broken, “I miss her.”
Just. So good.
(But man he is...2 for 3 on busted tech. Keyboard, tablet...fortunately the TV was spared but it was close!)
And Lena had some growth!
I’m just at the point where I’m never gonna like. Enjoy the character--too many years of fandom baggage unfortunately. But credit where it is due: NO MORE LITTLE BOXES, THANK GOODNESS.
She’s gone from Bowler Hat Guy to Elsa. Good for her.
The amount of Lex this week was about as much as I can handle anymore. Simmering in the background, antagonizing Lena...that’s where he belongs.
(But he can leave now, thanks.)
Okay so BACK TO KARA, b/c you know. I’m biased.
Her time in the Phantom Zone is a little less introspective than I expected, thus far. However! Still the good Kara content I crave.
Kara making friends and influencing others with her sheer determination and compassion?
Almost like...her real power lies in her ability to inspire others.
Gasp! A theme!
Also the mention of fractured memories...intriguing!
And will no-doubt dovetail into the upcoming time-travel/flashback episodes.
I am excited.
An aside: Kara’s gonna be so distressed that she missed out on all these big emotional milestones.
“J’onn and M’gann soul-bonded? Alex and Kelly moved in together? Lena and Brainy engaged in healthy coping mechanisms???”
She’s gonna have so many Hallmark cards to buy.
*Card with a cute smiley face on it* *opens it up* ‘Congrats on not murdering your brother!’
I’m sure there’s a bunch of other great stuff I’m missing but that’s all I can remember at the moment, so!
TL;DR - SO MANY FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS! From everyone! It was great.
NEXT WEEK: Phantom Friends Fight to Find a Feasible Flight from the Frigid Fathomage of the Former Fort Rozz!
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Constantly In My Thoughts (Fafnir/Flavio) - Etrian Odyssey Untold 2 Oneshot
Summary: Flavio gets caught out in the rain. While waiting for the rain to pass, he becomes lost in his thoughts. Unsurprisingly, they’re about Fafnir.
Pairings: Fafnir/Flavio
AN: Whew, how long has it been since I wrote a fluffy oneshot? It’s probably only been like a month or so, but it feels like it’s been aaaaaaaaages. Anyway, hope you enjoy~
Ao3 | Wattpad | FFNet
~*~*~*~*~*~
Flavio walked with a steady pace as he idly rebalanced the paper bag filled of groceries against his side. He paid little attention to his surroundings, however, as he was in the busy streets of Lagaard. And his mind was busy reaffirming his shopping list in his head. He was somewhat satisfied that he had gotten everything he was sent to buy, but one could never be a hundred percent certain, right?
He didn’t want to make it all the way back to the restaurant, only to discover he had indeed forgotten something. Unbelievably annoying, especially since he was the one who would have to trek all the way back.
A drop of something cold and wet striking him in the centre of his forehead was what finally pulled Flavio from his thoughts. He tilted his head back instinctively to look up at the cloudy grey sky. And received a rain drop to his right eye.
“Of course,” Flavio muttered as he rubbed his eye with hand. He uttered a sigh when more raindrops fell. It was going to pour down rain any second, he just knew it.
He had two options; run through it to the restaurant or find temporary shelter.
And after all the running he had done in the labyrinth that very morning, thought snow nonetheless, he decided to go with the second option. His calves were sure to thank him for it.
Thankfully, there was an awning of an empty shop nearby and while the few others on the street that was a short cut back to the restaurant were content to run, Flavio would have that one dry spot all to himself.
And no sooner did he step under the awning that it began to bucket down. Not torrential by any means, but he would be utterly soaked by the time he returned to the others.
The sky was a light grey in colour, so Flavio reasoned that the rain would not last all that long. Well, he hoped not at least. He hoped that it would ease up in less than an hour or so. If not, he was sure Fafnir would come hunting for him, as it were.
As Flavio dropped down to park his butt on the vacant shop step, his thoughts immediately centred on Fafnir. To be fair, though, it wasn’t often that his childhood best friend wasn’t far from his thoughts.
He couldn’t help but wonder if he was in Fafnir’s thoughts as he was in his. Although, being the leader of a guild was sure to occupy him more often than not. That was…reasonable, of course.
It was funny how the sound and sight of a steady rain, dripping rhythmically against the stone cobbled road and the canvas of the awning brought out a feeling of nostalgia. It was likely it due to how Flavio and Fafnir often found themselves caught out in the rain when they were kids. Out on their little adventures. Out exploring.
Ironic that they became explorers and adventures, huh?
Although…not entirely in the fashion that was considered normal. Definitely not in the way Flavio would have wanted.
Flavio sighed and fidgeted uncomfortably against the cold, hard ground. He tried to push aside the feeling of resentment whenever he thought back to certain…circumstances. Ones that forced Fafnir into being an explorer. Into being a knight.
Into being someone’s sacrificial lamb.
Flavio raised his hand and physically struck himself on the side of his head with the heel of his palm. Nope, none of those dark thoughts. It…couldn’t be helped. No one from their party was to blame.
No one.
With another sigh escaping his lips, Flavio tried to focus his attention on the steady rain fall. As peaceful as it was, the way the raindrops splashed against the stones, forming smalls puddles and pools, he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering back to Fafnir.
And ultimately to Arianna.
He didn’t blame her for anything. He certainly didn’t hate her. Any resentment that would bubble up in the centre of his chest was from pure biasness. He had known Fafnir longer, after all. Knew him better. Of course, he would feel protective of him. He was his best friend.
And yet…
No, Fafnir was his best friend. A friend. Maybe a brother. That was all they would be. Especially…
Especially since it was obvious that a Fafnir Knight would choose to be by the side of their princess, regardless of anything else. The bond between a knight and their princess was undeniable.
So, the jealousy he felt whenever the two were together was pointless. A waste of time. Something he needed to get over. For Fafnir’s sake.
All for Fafnir’s sake…
“Flavio!”
Flavio blinked, startled by the voice from the very subject of his thoughts. He looked up, still sat on that vacant shop step, still under the cover of the awning, and out into the rain. Where he soon recognised the figure approaching at a steady pace, an umbrella over his head.
And the sight of him brought a small smile to his lips.
“Looking for me already?”
Fafnir stepped under the awning and lowered the umbrella to his side. “I figured that you would seek shelter rather than run though the rain.”
“Because of all the running we did this morning?”
“No, because you didn’t want to get back soaking wet and have me whine at you about catching a cold.”
The smile on Flavio’s lips grew a fraction bigger and he pushed himself to his feet, idly readjusting his hold on his groceries. His gaze shifted toward the umbrella that Fafnir had by his side and quickly noted that he only had one on him.
“Only one umbrella?”
Fafnir shrugged dismissively. “I could only fine one.”
“There’s three in storage.”
“I didn’t have time to look there.”
Flavio arched an eyebrow. “You snatched the nearest one and immediately headed out when you realised it was raining?”
“In search of you, yes.” Fafnir’s reply was blunt, but nonchalant. As if it should have been obvious. And, well, it was obvious. Still nice to hear the words, though.
And to know that Fafnir immediately thought of him when he saw the rain.
To be thinking of him…
Friends. Just friends…
It was hard to keep up that mantra, however, when Fafnir slinked an arm around Flavio’s waist and pulled him close, pressing him firmly against his side. It…was due to Fafnir not wanting him to get wet as they share an umbrella. Yeah.
Even so, even with his cheeks heating up unexpectedly in spite of the cold, Flavio didn’t pull away. He reasoned it was because Fafnir’s grip around him was so tight that he couldn’t. And that idea in of itself made him flush a little bit harder.
To be held so tightly…
Quit dreaming, Flavio; Fafnir had always been way overprotective.
“You’ve been overthinking again.” Fafnir had stated that as fact, yet held a light accusatory tone as well.
“How do you know?”
Fafnir repositioned the umbrella over their heads as he tugged him to begin their trek back to the restaurant. “You bite the tip of your thumb and tap your foot incessantly when you do.”
Flavio blinked. “I do?” Seriously? “You saw that?”
“I know you, Flavio.”
…Yeah. Yeah, Flavio supposed he did.
“You think too much,” Fafnir added, lightly teasing.
“Well, someone has to,” Flavio quickly retorted, his tone also playful as they strolled idly through the rain drenched streets.
Fafnir gave a one shouldered shrug. “I think enough. I only need to know six things; where the threat is, what the best response is for battle, whether the map is accurate, whether everyone is safe, and what we’re going to have to eat.”
Flavio smiled, finding reassurance in Fafnir’s usual nonchalance. That was one of the more endearing aspects of him; his honest frankness.
One thing made Flavio furrow his brow in slight confusion, though; “Fafnir, that’s only five things. What’s the sixth?”
Fafnir turned to look him straight in the eyes. “You, obviously.”
Flavio was rendered speechless, only managing to draw in a sharp intake of air through slightly parted lips. His gaze was locked onto Fafnir’s, unable to look away. Unable to ignore the sincerity, the absolute fondness in Fafnir’s gaze.
“…You’re constantly in my thoughts, too.”
“I know.”
The rain had stopped falling as Fafnir turned to face him, releasing the umbrella to wrap both arms around Flavio. As the umbrella rolled away, Flavio unwittingly dropped his bag of groceries, letting it land on the wet ground. he would have to apologise about getting some of the ingredients wet later.
He was far too focused on other things. Such as the way Fafnir had pulled him closer, his arms holding him close as Flavio’s own hands sought him out. How Fafnir’s face moved inexplicably closer to his, allowing for Flavio’s eyes to flutter close in anticipation. And the way his heart skipped a beat when he felt the warmth of Fafnir’s breath against his lips.
He couldn’t even begin to describe what he felt in his chest when Fafnir’s lips pressed against his. It was as if those lips, moving warmly against his was all he could think about. Even that nagging voice of doubt that often arose at the most inopportune times was silent.
Maybe he did overthink a little too much. Maybe the fact that Fafnir saw him as more than a friend, like Flavio did with him, was in his face the entire time. But he was too deep in thought to realise.
Well…one thing was certain; he wasn’t going to let his thoughts distract him now.
Not when Fafnir was more than capable of doing that on his own.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
some thoughts on ÉLITE s4 immediately after finishing it
MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD, obviously
so. i have some thoughts.
i really disliked how they kept on piling up problem upon problem and i’ve seen that a couple dozen times by now and it always ends the same - nothing gets solved. Not really, anyway. The solution usually is; another problem happens, but its bigger and far more important and severe than all of the other ones combined and it overshadows everything that had happened before.
on that note, and to be fair, this is a teen’s drama show. So i don’t mind it, just to be clear here. i enjoyed the heck out of this season, right now, it’s my favorite season of all. That might change later, as all of this still is so new and fresh and exciting so my mind naturally snaps onto it.
first things first; Omander went just like i predicted - they broke up just so they could get back together eventually, after some hardcore drama. (i cried anyway. a lot.)
there’s one character i liked throughout the whole season. no, wait, two actually. first is rebeka. i feel like her decisions made sense. i liked her story arch a lot. the second one is azucena. what a queen.
.........guzman has a really bad temper. always had and probably always will. (to the samu/guzman/ari drama; why couldnt they have a pretty threesome, ari was quite obviously polyamorous (but i guess nobody has ever heard of that lol) and samuel and guzman almost fucked any second anyways so what exactly was their problem)
surprisingly enough, i liked Patrick in a lot of moments, about 50%. i absolutely despised him in the other 50%. tbh im really not sure about his character like with him, i don’t see any reasoning or goal or whatsoever. i have no clue what he wants to achieve?? guess he just wants to be gay and fuck around and honestly? fair enough
Mencia. Oh, Mencia. i liked her a lot from the get go and i still think her character is cool as shit, but there were quite some moments when i wouldve loved to smack her across the face. i also cried a lot when it came to Mencia/Rebeka. when Samu said “Fuck, you two are cute”? i felt that. i very much cringed at the chocolate scene, but to each their own i guess.
Ari; about 95% of the season disliked her. i didn’t hate her, but she was like a knockoff version of Lu? listen, i know i’m being biased here and it’s very unfair towards her, but to me, it just felt like she always tried to be the mean girl but never really succeeded. my opinion of her skyrocketed in the last few minutes of the last episode, though. we love some good sibling care in this house. not like it had been like that in the beginning, mind you.
i. fucking. hated. Benjamin. like the whole time. i think there was legit one single moment when i thought like “okay hold on that was the first (and last) good move you made this whole season” and it was when he offered Mencia to listen to her anytime she wanted or needed to. otherwise. fuck him. his attitude, his way of talking, his way of acting, fucking everything. (in the very last scene, when he destroyed the table? like yeah, i get that you’re emotional and angry and shit but my dude, your youngest daughter just told you she basically got r*ped on a daily basis by the guy *you* invited to your house because you only saw his money. can you please show some motherfucking self-control and not scare said daughter to fucking death oh my god i hate this guy so fucking much) also because he kicked out azucena. on that note, ander being protective of his mom? absolutely living for it.
aaand Ander. here we go. oof. i did not like him for a good part of the season. actually, i think it probably started in episode one and ended in the last one, lol. i just felt like there were little things that made sense? i appreciated him telling Omar that he finds this other guy (aka Patrick) hot, but like some time later, they break up in this really horrible and heartbreaking sequence and a minute later, Ander goes whoring around like there’s no tomorrow? like, literally? huh? i found myself really torn between who to dislike more; Ander or Patrick. nice el desorden reference. (both the shot where he masturbated alone in the shower and the book, lmao)
as for Omar; can the writers just leave him the fuck alone please? what did he ever do to yall to ever deserve all this shit he has to go through constantly in this show holy fuck i HATE how he got treated by Ander and Patrick and Benjamin. This boy deserves so much better. he did seem a little out of character sometimes, i gotta say. not sure why tho. most times, he was the sweet, empathetic cinnamon roll we know him as. like idk man he does so much for his friends?? the thing with Philippe and Caye at the bar was adORABLE
which leads us to
Philippe. dude. what. was his character. most of the time, i felt kinda bad for him, like his so called friends literally all just saw the royalty in him (not that he made the impression that he didnt like that in the first few episodes, but yeah it’s a thing so i reckoned that would come up later on). also i was so happy for Cayetana ughguhghguhghh they were really cute together......but then he gotta pull this shit, like what??? in the actual fuck. he’s just like “yeah some girl tried to sue me, saying i r*ped her” and then later he’s like “so yeah i’m actually a r*pist, whoops, sorry, can you stay pretty please?” like ex fucking cuse the shit out of me sir. no. the problem is i *want* to like him because pol granch is a fucking sweetheart and i’m catching myself thinking stuff like hes kind of aware that hes a borderline r*pist and that hes also very aware that it’s not okay? but like? he doesn’t try to change? don’t even get me started on his mother. ugly ass bitch. that’s all i have to say.
so i didnt like Cayetana for a major amount of s3, like at all. but yeah, what can i say. shes just a sweet girl okay and now i have a soft spot for her. much like Omar i feel like, she gets a lot of shit, completely uncalled for and there’s nothing she can do against it she just like stumbles into the pile of crap and then is knee-deep in. i feel very sorry for her man i just wanna hug her.
just for the record, there was not a single second that i thought Amomrdm(shit i forgot his name lmfao) -the bad guy- was just being nice and helpful. tbh he just deserved what he got. whoops, there, i said it.
the build up in the last episode was very nice, i gotta say. it was low key obvious who would be the one to attack Ari, but it’s alright. i did not expect the thing with Guzman tho lol. You go man. (but still, aggression problems.)
side note; dude it really sucks that guzman and samuel were too busy fighting over Ari to actually notice her missing lmao
oh also - Rebeka’s ninja kick on the dock??????? HELLO????
guzman and ander leaving made me so fucking emotional?????? excuse me??? who gave them the right?????
edit; (a day later)
just noticed i completely forgot Samu, lol. hes just so far away from my type and i dont really have an opinion on him like yeah hes kind-hearted and cares for his friends, and thats sweet, but uuuhhhhhh. i was only there for the lil gay moments between him and guzman. there were a lot of them. i was really happy when he and Rebeka made up and talked to each other again, that was kinda wholesome. aside from that tho? idk hes just kinda [shrug-emoji] for me (like he had been from s1 all the way on to be quite honest)
that said, i’m sure theres lots more thoughts in my mind but the heat is making my head hurt lol ok bye
#elite#elite4#this is neither a pretty post nor something serious#literally just me rambling#also it was like 3am when i wrote that initially#but i guess in case anyone wants to read it ill post it#also saving it for later#lily rambles
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
fruitmagazine
mirroed heart
cojidebex
Untitled
fairyfin
TELL ME??? DO YOU LIKE TEA???
ftrosiehw
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley