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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 day

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Hello~ I don't know if someone has already ask this but I'll just ask anyway. What made you so interested in Jade? I'm not saying it's a bad thing or anything of the sort. I'm just very intrigued.

Also to feed into your J-word brain rot I present to you this, but picture Jade. Lol I saved this photo as hot damn Sebastain.

Hello, hello!! ^^ I’ve made a post before that explains my interest in Jade, but if I’m being entirely honest 💦 it’s all over the place and difficult to read because of how often I go all caps and keyboard smashing. I’ll try to summarize my thoughts here in a way that’s more digestible and calm.

I love many of the little details about his face: the shape of his eyes, the curve of his mouth, how his brows are arched, etc. I also have a visceral, near animalistic urge to tug on that black bit of hair he has sprouting out...

His manner of dress also resonates with me! Jade is usually well covered and in formal attire, and I think that makes it more exciting on the instances when he dresses down (whether that be going without his gloves or choosing something more casual to wear).

His intelligence. I've always preferred characters who rely on their smarts over their strength to achieve their goals, and Jade fits the bill. One particular example is how his UM is limited in scope and usage, so he has to carefully plan and strategize about how and when he casts it. It's nice that Jade can also loosen up and use his cunning not necessarily for nefarious deeds, but just to tease others.

He plays support and he plays it well. I also have a tendency to like "helper" characters (butlers, bodyguards, knights, etc.), which is another archetype that Jade slots into. He is highly competent as a vice dorm leader, personal assistant, and right-hand man (eel?) to Azul. Plus, Jade knows when and how to play to his strengths (especially when it comes to deception and disarming others) and adapt to any situation he is placed in. Jade has even earned the approval of the notoriously hard to please Vil!

He keeps you guessing, and you'll still never even see it coming. I think it's interesting that he appears more docile than Floyd, yet Azul warns his peers that Jade is the more dangerous twin since Jade won't telegraph his schemes or bad moods (unlike Floyd). I 100% agree with Azul; not knowing what Jade has in store or when it will hit you is much scarier--but also much more thrilling in a way, haha...

Similar to the last point but much more specific; I love Love LOVE those moments when he's smiling while saying the most horrendous things (the infamous "what I'd do to anyone that betrays me" line lives rent free in my head). I also adore it when Jade is lying to your face and overacting (like when he pretends he got dust in his eye in book 4). He's so dramatic while lying his heart out, it makes me giggle.

Jade works with many of the tropes I like to go for when I want comfort. Househusband/domestic life stuff, butler looking after you, etc. I have a habit of overworking and forgetting to take care of my needs, so it's easier for me to remember if I pretend like Jade's the one doing the self-care for me.

I appreciate that he appreciates nature. I don't get to touch much grass (not that I don't go outside, it's that there isn't much grass in the area I live in)... so I get very excited whenever I get to just enjoy nature in its purest form, taking in that fresh air. It makes me feel like we're kindred spirits.

The duality of eel. Overall, I'd say that the reason I like Jade so much is because he can be many things which typically run contradictory to one another. I think that makes for a fun character that keeps me on my toes ^^

NOT YOU USING “J WORD” TOO… 💀 It’s spreading… just like a bunch of spores…

Aaaah, it’s Sebastian!! It’s been years and years since I read Black Butler (I think I stopped around the Blue Cult arc?). He’s still just as effortlessly elegant as I remember him being… I guess that’s par for the course for one hell of a butler, huh?

Here, lemme just… *crudely draws on him* THERE WE GO, THE J WORD SSR FOR AN EVENT WHERE WE VISIT THE LAND OF CRIMSON LONG :>

Thank you for your question and the rot fuel 🥰

#twst #twisted wonderland #Jade Leech #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #question #Vil Schoenheit #Floyd Leech #Azul Ashengrotto #Tweels #Octavinelle #Black Butler #Sebastian Michaelis #Jade Leech thirst

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alibrasmind · 3 days

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Charles repression is so interesting to me.

He got us believing Edwin was the repressed one because of his openness to take life as it came and how comfortable he was showing his love to Edwin when in reality Edwin was a lot more in touch with his feelings than Charles. At least in a healthier way, I would say.

Charles didn't realize he had big issues until it exploded but Edwin always knew he was repressing himself, even if he couldn't grasp it entirely, even if he was in denial, that's the reason he spent many years in hell. He wasn't oblivious to himself. He knew. Charles didn't. He knew the abuse screwed him over, but not the how. He wasn't aware of the anger inside him. He knew he wanted to be alive, but probably never thought how it truly affected him being dead.

Same thing with sexuality. Charles never questioned if his behavior or his feelings for Edwin could mean more because he didn't consider the possibility of liking a boy. It was safe being that devoted because it was just a friend. It couldn't be any other way. Edwin didn't realize he was in love with Charles until later on and I think it was because he held back more, maybe if he had been like Charles he'd notice his feelings earlier, but also because he understood what real love felt like when Crystal showed up and the possibility of losing Charles came up. (Other factors also came at play here, of course)

Charles loves in a much freer way because of his past. He is not demanding. He gets jealous and feels territorial, yeah, but he won't show it because he prohibits himself from having certain feelings he labels as negative. He believes in being reliable and always keeping up the spirit so he won't create problems that could upset others. He accepts love as it comes, doesn't matter what it looks like, because even if it's not what he needs, it is love anyway and by being someone who never received it as a child, anything is better than nothing.

I could go a lot deeper into this but it would be a very large post so I'll just stop. Anyway. That's my take on this.

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #edwin x charles #dbd #repressed anger #repressed gays

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system-of-a-feather · 3 days

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Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"

(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)

Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.

I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.

So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.

I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.

Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)

Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration

According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.

To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)

Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like

The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be

I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own

In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self

With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.

As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".

As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.

Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.

As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.

Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.

For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.

It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.

Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.

At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)

And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...

Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly

At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)

It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)

With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.

I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"

Functional Multiplicity Pros:

A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions

It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense

Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not

More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online

Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it

Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Pros:

Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier

It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as

You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.

More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces

Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation

Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Functional Multiplicity Cons:

Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life

Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part

Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion

Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Cons:

Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective

It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts

Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them

Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once

And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.

Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it

Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now

-Feathers

EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.

#feathers speaks #functional mulitplicity #final fusion #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #syscourse #syscourse tw #tulpacourse #tulpacourse tw #full integration #buddhism #long post

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inconmess · 21 hours

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So the whole fight, I am trying to type my way through it to process stuff, may have gotten some things wrong, may go back and edit some stuff but...

Spoilers so I am putting this under the cut cuz I am likely to go into detail and make it a long post. I don't know

It started with Laudna thinking about Orym having the blade strapped on his back. Not her thinking it is cursed.

Delilah escalates that thought of thinking into it possibly being a cursed sword, and hey, I won't discount the fact that Laudna may have taken it without Delilah's influence but Delilah egging on her definitely make it more certain for Laudna to take it.

And look at this, she could've just woken up Orym and talked about her concerns but I think deep inside, she knew that he wouldn't agree for her to absorb the blade either way. Hence the stealthy try to take it.

She takes her precautions, fails and she knows Orym is a soldier. She knows what he can do. Which is also the reason she cast Darkness while she tried to take it. So she also shouldn't be surprised if he attacks her in the Darkness because he can't see and had just been hurt.

Even if Delilah's push, I can understand the argument she made. They don't know if the blade is cursed or sentient. They don't know how the blade could affect him. The Blade has killed party members and Laudna is traumatised by it. Understandable why she doesn't want to see it or see anyone using it.

She could just ask Orym to put it away, talked it out with him. If it was just about him wielding it. Or carrying it in the party's line of sight. But this wasn't about that. This was about Laudna grabbing it's power to empower Delilah. And she knows what the party thinks about her. Her stealthy action makes sense, Orym's reaction makes sense.

But when the rest of them awoke and the darkness dropped, they see Orym attacking Laudna, seemingly for no reason. With Otohan's blade. And Laudna tries to play into it. She talks about how she sensed that the sword is cursed and was trying to save Orym from being corrupted and it would've made sense. If not for the fact that she could've just talked about it.

Look, Orym tells them why he took the sword, again, makes sense with his backstory. But like he did now, he would've agreed to put it down, get it checked if it were really cursed. He is not probably going to endanger himself if the others are concerned about it.

But he (and the others later on) repeatedly asks Laudna on why she needs it and she evades it. He points out how she hurt him to take it and she says it was accidental. It was. But she still doesn't give solid answers on why she needs it. Her reasoning changes quite a bit and not really makes sense.

And then she turns it on Orym. "I gave you a bruise accidentally but you gave me gashes." "It was on instinct." "Even I did it on instinct." No Laudna, Orym did it on instinct because you covered the place in Darkness. You cast the spell intentionally and hurt Orym, not on instinct. Accident, maybe. But definitely not on instinct. Lady, what do you expect a soldier who has been hurt and woke up in magical darkness to do apart from attack?

Ashton asking Laudna to apologise and willing to take her side was nice. And technically, everything could've been resolved with a talk. But she tries to escape, opens the windows and doors repeatedly as the talks are going on, as Orym does lay bare on why he needs the blade.

Which is another interesting talk. "Why do I need the help of some dark force" he asks, pointedly looking at her. And Laudna points out her gashes. I mean, ma'am, if you are going to fault Orym for taking another sword, which admittedly killed a lot of people, let me remind you that you were trying to take said sword to feed another dark force in you.

In the tension of the moment though, I find it funny Orym did mention about his deal but they don't get to unpack it at the moment because there is more serious shit going on here.

Anyway. I need both Orym and Laudna to stop feeling they don't have enough power to handle everything but at the same time they are partially right because most of the fights they have been in, they have either come close to losing someone or lost someone so I get it but still HAVE A TALK! I love how Laudna just resolves to act than talk but at the same time frustrated by it *sighs*

And then Fearne identifies it. Chetney Grim Psychometries it. And they find no sentience there. Cursed, maybe? But not sentient. And Laudna insists on swallowing it's power any way. I mean, like Imogen asked, it may be cursed then why do you want to take it? And the way she repeatedly asks "With the harness, right?"

I know I am going about the whole sequence of events back and forth but... As I said, I am trying to process through the fight, not pass judgement.

Chet saying it is Orym's sword and Laudna is not having it. Dorian coming in with him being done with objects having power over them is interesting because he just got out of a PVP, reminiscing about the crown and how silly it had been, talking about how it is about the person who wields it and not the item right after what went down with Opal...

And then Chet also brings up how much loss Orym has gone through with that particular sword and Laudna mentions not to talk about loss to her. Justifiably so tbh.

The thing here is, I agree, Laudna has lost a lot in her life. She lost her whole life in Whitestone, she was tortured, has died and lost her family and everything, started over with her killer in her head, guiding and giving her power, died again and now lost FCG.

But Orym, similarly, lost his life back in Zephrah. Maybe not his whole family but it was still his father and husband, lost his own life and then FCG. Laudna and Orym have lost people and their lives and have had to rebuild it in different ways. Period. Not comparable.

Before anyone says anything, I am not putting trauma in a scale or comparing here because everyone can react to trauma and have it hit them differently. But Orym has had the longest beef with Otohan out of any of them. Laudna can have her beef with Delilah for killing her but leans into her for power. So in a sense, Orym does have the edge here because while everyone does have a history with the blade, Orym has it for the longest.

But he still gives it to Laudna anyway when she insists for it. "Why do you care so much?" "Does anyone want to tell her why do I care so much?" Because Orym is also kinda fed up of repeating the same thing over and over again. He doesn't want revenge. He wants to protect. He is not giving up Seedling in exchange for the blade that killed his family but rather stick it up to Ludinus and rather end the history of the blade with him hopefully. And he repeats it over and over again and she is just stuck on sucking in the sword.

Until Chetney gives her the scream needle. And she runs off. And sucks the dagger in. Leaving a party split and woken in the middle of the night.

I saw some posts about how Laudna should face some consequences. And she should. This was kinda unprovoked in a sense. And maybe, Maybe Orym should've consulted the party because in terms of spoils, Ishta can be claimed as FCG's as he was the one who victored over Otohan but as I said, it could've been talked out and people didn't need to attack out of the start? There was a chance for the group as a whole to ask Orym about the decision to take the sword, talking about it. But they didn't.

Long things short, Orym has some valid points. Laudna has some valid points. Laudna went about things the wrong way if she wanted them to trust her. And the rest of the party let most things slide easily.

But Just such a juicy conflict. Now, I may I interpreted some things wrong, missed something here and there and I welcome any and all discussion in the rbs/comments. Thank you for reading through this thought process till the end.

Rasnak signing off :3

And for now, the stuff Laudna has sucked in to power Delilah:

The Crystal

Hunger of the Shadows Bor'Dor

Hunger of the Shadows the Willmaster

Scream Needle

And I think she does suck the power of something else but I forget

Just to end it.. FUCK YOU DELILAH!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #messy thots #long post #I really have a lot of thoughts about this fight and I don't think I have it all down #orym of the air ashari #laudna #just the conflict #it has been a long time coming #to summarise #Laudna has some good points #she isn't completely wrong #She is kinda justified in her reaction #Just the way she went about it doesn't sit well with me #And comparing trauma isn't the way to go

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uriekukistan · 2 days

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Hope your day or night is going well!! ✨

Okay, top five Megumi lines/scenes?

ahhh thank you i hope yours is as well!! and thank you for the ask!!

im in the car rn so some of these i couldn’t track down the specific chapter/page bc i dont wanna use all my data :’)

1 - “i’m not like itadori, i have no problem earning 100 points for myself.” or something along that line

one of the things that fascinates me the most about megumi is the way he places value on lives, and this line is just so cool to me. he’d said before this that he saves people unequally, but this shows just how far that goes. he’ll kill anywhere from 20-100 random people so tsumiki and itadori, the two people he cares about and thinks are worth saving more than anyone else, don’t have to get their hands dirty, and their lives hold more value to him than others. it’s also so interesting to me because of the way megumi doesn’t consider himself a good person like tsumiki or itadori, and therefore doesn’t really see himself as worth saving, so it’s just a necessary burden he has to carry as the “bad” person for those two. also add that in w this line, and im on the floor

2 - his battle vs sukuna at the detention facility/“i’m not a hero, i’m a jujutsu sorcerer”

another moment where we get an insight into his ideas on good/bad people and who deserves saving, can you tell i love this aspect of his character? i mean, he’s about to sacrifice himself for itadori to live (hopefully), even though he literally met the guy two weeks ago, because he thinks he’s a good person who deserves saving. it’s the first insight we get into megumi’s thought process, and this was really the moment that made me start paying attention to him more. i also love how he kept a softer expression on his face and didn’t cry until after itadori died, like he didnt want itadori to feel sad or guilty in his final moments im SICK also the fact that he took the name-tag to that guys mom even though he didnt have an interest in saving him, like he was paying a respect to itadori….ugh…anyway yeah i love dissecting the way he values life.

3 - “so start by saving me, itadori”

see as an itafushist of course this had to make the list like this whole chapter has me on the floor but anyway aside from that, i love thinking about this scene because the words he’s saying seem so contrary to how he thinks? like he’s asking to be saved but he doesn’t think he’s worth saving? so it needs an extra layer of consideration. i feel like he really said this more to motivate yuuji (and save tsumiki) than actually wanting to be saved himself. plus the “it’s our fault, don’t be selfish and give up all alone” aaahhahahsj i just love this moment i feel like it shows his character very well….when the idgafer actually very much gaf….

4 - his first domain expansion

hellooo this was so sick and cool and badass of him like i dont think there’s anything i need to say for this. huge character development moment for him too. add this with the simple domain he had in dagon’s domain + the part in the culling games arc where he literally hides himself in the shadows……he’s crazy powerful and i dont wanna hear anything abt it! if u were traumatized like that you’d be curled up on the floor too

5 - “if you die, i’ll kill you” both times

again as an itafushist i couldnt not include this….of course there’s implications for megumi’s character as well but i feel like there’s only so much i can talk about his moral code in one post yk? but yeah i think it just shows how much the people he cares about matter to him

also bonus i love just any culling games megumi, his determination to save tsumiki and make it so itadori doesnt have to kill anyone makes him grow so much as a character and as a sorcerer, i love it sm

thank u for the ask! any excuse to yap about megumi 🤞

#me when i queue an ask game and then forget #i have no idea what’s in my queue tbh #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk spoilers #megumi fushiguro #itafushi

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hopeyarts · 1 day

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Just A Thought About the Hypocrisy Behind Star’s Development Disney’s Wish

Just a thought but I find it so funny (not) that Disney said they didn’t want Star being too much like the Genie or Maui, so they reduced him down to what we got now… all while having 7 characters being the literal copies of the Seven Dwarves. Either they thought this was a stupidly great idea or they’re trynna sabotage themselves. They did that anyways.

I don’t care what form Star takes as long as it makes sense and isn’t there just to serve as a potential McDonalds toy for kids. The shapeshifting was a nice touch to the character especially since it is said throughout the movie that “everyone and everything is a star” and with Star shapeshifting into different creatures that would’ve reflected that saying.

Additionally, Star is an important character of the movie, but if you’re just going to have him let animals speak and accidentally cause chaos then that’s your cue to keep brainstorming. He’s supposed to help our protagonist, not start trouble and make things worse. The light gave trouble to Asha because King Magnifico now suspects something and then he turns into a man possessed by an evil book. The hijinks Star caused in the laboratory created an explosion, and he almost got Asha caught when he constantly tried to fly to Magnifico during the This Is The Thanks I Get song. Admittedly, Star did some useful stuff in the movie but that could’ve been solved by Asha either way. He wasn’t needed.

I know everyone and their grandma knows about the deleted scenes, but I’m gonna bring it up anyways. During the Finding Flazino deleted scene, Star helped heal Flazino’s heart/soul (personally I think it was temporarily due to the extent of Star’s powers and that Flazino’s wish was consumed. If he healed Flazino completely then that just further proves my point), but he helped relieve the pain. Star was like a pain-reliever almost. That is useful. That is what Star should’ve been- a physical beacon of hope. Hope is a temporary feeling, and what Star did in that deleted scene was give Flazino back some of that hope even if it was for a limited amount of time.

In the movie, Star doesn’t do that. In fact- he doesn’t do anything of the sort. People only look at him with fascination because he’s a literal star from the sky and they love seeing magic (latter is part of the reason why they moved to Rosas in the first place). There is no depth behind the character and bro is just smiling every minute thinking everything’s a game.

It’s also SO FUNNY (still not) that this movie was supposed to be the origin of the wishing star. That never happened. And don’t say that I’m A Star told us his origin or background or anything because that song answered nothing. There’s also the problem of Star being the wishing star of Disney, and them just forgetting about the Blue Fairy descending down from the sky as the original one. She’s the real wishing star hands down. For the sake of focusing on Wish as a movie itself, I won’t get into that.

All in all, if they wanted both a marketable plushie and an interesting character, then maybe keep that healing ability? Or some other way that makes him both on the Disney brand AND useful. He’s cute and all, but when I see him and remember what he’s done for the plot…all I can think of is the talking animals. But don’t use the excuse of reducing his character because you’re afraid of similarities to older ones when you have a whole EASTER EGG for the Seven Teens that is of them looking and acting like the Seven Dwarves.

The hypocrisy behind Star’s development and that of the Seven Teens is so blatantly absurd. I’m not buying what you’re saying. Make it make sense, Disney.

Waiting for the Wish developers’ NDAs to expire.

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anthyies · 1 year

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jack drake is a dad for sure

#Okay hi i need to get out all my thoughts (at the midpoint-ish of robin/where no mans land stuff is happening)#Because it’s like. He is not a good father. But he also loves his son both are true at the same time #It’s like. he pulls out all the stops during no man’s land. and getting worried and mad when tim up and disappears suddenly a ton is a #reasonable reaction. But with that said. he sucks as a dad just differently from popular portrayal #I think everyone should read to the father I never knew b4 saying anything about Tim’s relationship with his dad. Like. Jack loves him and #he has an image of tim in his head that is very different from what he actually is #<- i don’t think only cares about status drakes is true at all like it’s a different issue.#<- and on that note janet is fridged so early so putting any sort of bad mom thing on her is just. like. misogyny #BUT anyways he also sucks as a father real bad the. tv ripping incident is genuinely haunting #He has a skewed perception of himself he’s constantly like I’ve been permissive.. when Tim comes back this time I’m going to be so #strict. As if he isn’t authoritative and terrible #Also his continued like I’m going to be a better father. (proceeds not to do that)#Also I’m always thinking of that one panel from the robin miniseries where they’re like dad we won’t let anything come in between us again #& the bat signal is in the background. genuinely showstopping.#Anyways. Yeah. Jack drake. Is a dad for sure. Not a good one. He sucks. In a way that is different from popular portrayal #In a rlly interesting way.#esha.txt #dc #tim

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shidoukanae · 10 days

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Did a study of a panel i like for a manga with absolutely my favorite female character i've seen yet and thought i'd post it here too in the hopes of eventually finding fans of this series when they inevitably, like me, look for more content of this story :'D

I could gush about this funny, lovestarved, absolutely downright sympathetic and villainous lady who absolutely deserves to be family with the protag for so many hours if you let me she is literally so perfect and everything I have ever wanted from female characters before.

I've gone from going "ooooo she's such a cool antagonist who is such a funny little mystery i LOVE her" to "yeah she's kind of on the insane spectrum but tbf who wouldn't be fucked up in her situation TwT" to "i WILL cry over her and she is completely in the right for doing what she's doing and i can't believe i ever believed she wasn't the heroine she's supposed to be :'D"

#the mighty extra: one girl changes the world #helene de belliana #my love #i found the raws but haven't found if there's a fandom for this manga #if it exists it's probs overseas but idk how to find said fandom then bc searching by title is useless fghjgfhj #the manga itself isn't perfect but my god does it have a lot of heart put into it #i can tell the creator adores Helene because there's no fucking way they don't at this point #just woke up to read chapter 72 and i am #melting #for baby Helene and hopefully getting to know more about her relationship with the original Lyla #because that last panel of her looking uncertain is so adorbs #but also im not used to seeing Helene with long hair and for once i prefer short hair to long hair #literally Helene is such a cool character how do i write a character as cool as her #and the fact that she has a love interest (debatably) who is is on manipulative terms with atm is so interesting #esp because he's the only one she's showing her true nature to atm and im !!! at the implications of that #her being mischievous towards Paris (even if she's meanly funny about it) and the fact she used to be mischievous as a kid...#waaah i wanna see her and Paris develop a relationship together beyond their current sarcastic partnership #especially because there's something so neat about the funny self-interested dragon man obeying her without reason to #at least the narrative hasn't addressed why he would bother??? bc she's neither offered him the fragment nor is he completely amiable to he #but also i can't help but think there was some omitting going on after their second to last scene together...#damn this manga gives so much food for thought and for that alone this story is instantly in my top 10 rankings #For Helene alone it's probably close to my number 2 spot lmao #anyways yes i stan Helene and at this point i think im her number 1 fan and defender until (hopefully) proven otherwise~#bc god do i need more content for her waaaah

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dallonwrites · 9 months

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reblogs off bc i dont want to start Conversations based on other peoples posts but re the whole "who is in control you or the character" question, i find it SO interesting because it's by letting myself discovery write that I (for me personally disclaimer) found the perfect balance between intuition and intention. which to preface "intution" is the easiest way to describe how the inside of my writers brain feels bc often i just get vivid characters/stories/images/scenes with little control at first and i have to figure out what they mean. anyway discovery writing is what works for my brain to make intentional decisions because i need to be amidst a draft to get the Story Cogs working, whenever i try to outline before a draft it's always been just throwing things at a wall bc it feels too far away, but because im also using the discovery element to do that it's like. that's where i think the whole i feel like my characters reveal themselves to me comes from. because im always discovering small bits about them even if i've written them for years just but because discovery writing is also what prompts me to be intentional about writing as i write something it's like both are happening at the same time. so the whole "who's in control" it's like...i don't think control is the right word for me at all because its not Me or the Character it's me trying to understand the character to understand + then write my intentions. like neither me or the character are in the drivers seat because there's no car we are in the middle of the story forest and at first i won't know what it means at all except that it is a Story. and my character will start going one way and sometimes i'll follow and pay attention to where they're taking me to figure out if this is the right path/where to go next. and sometimes i'll figure out how to read the compass first and realise i need to drag their ass in another direction

#anyway i just thought this was interesting because i used to think i needed to outline to be intentional/in control of my story #but outlines are too distant for me to feel like im in control so thats why theyre more organisational than creative for me #whilst we're infodumping on process i also dont like the whole are characters Like Real People or just Story Tools #like yes my characters are tools for the story just like how the story is a tool for demonstrating my characters #like again i dont think its one or the other for me #but i treat them as very 'real' (which this can be another tangent in itself) and intuitive is the best way to describe how i process them #but that doesnt mean there isnt intention and control you know #like the reason i describe my characters and stories as 'real' to me is simply bc they are very vivid in my brain #and that vividness often expands the bounds of the story #i want to go on the 'real' tangent the weight of that word one day #i think this makes sense if u know that for me i rarely get 'ideas' i get images #and characters/relationships #and i have to figure out what that means as a story #also no i dont think you need 'intuition' bc thats just the word i use for myself but i do think you need to understand #how intention works w your writing process and what it means for you to be intentional and what helps you be intentional #and sometimes that will be not considering any form of 'intuition' at all #beloved writeblrs i think i need to launch the dallonwrites substack i cant be doing these tag essays anymore!! i need to expand!!! someone #give me a podcast

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broke-on-books · 3 months

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Holy topic change batman

How did we even get here

#reading a poem from class and am just in shock at a change of topic here and the language used #like i dont have cultural knowledge/connection/whatever of the word used so it itself isnt like sensitive for me in any way nd i dont know #how much it is that in spanish (bc im reading the poem in soanish and translating the words i dont know into english to understand better)#but the FREAKING TOPIC CHANGE here has left me so shocked #like im sorry but how do we go from talking abt how this homie is like the special voice of the city and connection to nature in an #industial world only to then go (direct translation) “and the faggots #they dreamed of you“ like bro WHEN DID THEY GET HERE #anyways i picked this poem bc it was a little queer from the skim i did i can admit that but obviously i missed the bulk of it because i did #not see that line coming at all or the total topic change here #like again i picked up it was a little gay on the skim bc its by a gay poet abt a gay poet. and bro is described using words like beautiful #handsome etc. a few times #but looking through and skimming the rest is just them talking about gay ppl the whole time. how did i miss this. like yeah this was #likely written in the 1920s uses older language (not to mention in my 2nd language) but wow okay #going thru and translating and that just hit me by surprise horribly #I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABT INDUSTRY AND NATURE #okay i think ive recovered from the shock there i need to finish actually 7nderstanding this so i can write the paper i put off so ling #also 10 points and like a shitty doodle of choice if anyone knows the poem here.#i have an awful track record of following through on these promises but like interested to see if its semi obvious

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stillinthatweirdfaze · 5 months

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Thinking about how I only learned that I had, in fact, had anxiety and panic attacks before when I went to the doctor because I passed out from one. I have now learned that I have been having anxiety attacks for my whole life and just didn’t know because so one wanted to explain shit to me.

#This is not a vent post. Just genuinely think it’s interesting and that we need to yknow #Explain how attacks happen and what they feel like so people know when they’re having them #I “knew” what a panic attack was but I didn’t think I was having them because I wouldn’t hyperventilate or run around with nervous energy #it’s actually the opposite with me. I just kinda. Fully shut down like stop dead in my tracks and look forward and forget to breathe #Also I thought I wasn’t having panic attacks because it wasn’t like. Out of the blue. Something would make me upset and it would just build #Untill I eventually had an attack #Little did I know THATS WHAT AN ANXIETY ATTACK IS #WOWWWWWWW #I thought what I was experiencing was normal I thought that’s just what being nervous was lol #I thought getting so upset over little things to the point of crying and shaking and being completely disfunctional was #What being nervous was #Anyway I was looking up what to do as a person who faints when having attacks sometimes and #The language used was like “if you have anxiety attacks it technically can make you pass out but don’t worry because it barely happens”#Well 🧍‍♀️#The rarest thing about me is the fact I take a bad nap every time my brain decides to go into emergency shutdown :[

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babydarkstar · 9 months

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ohhhhh man people on here will be so willfully ignorant about their biphobia in favor of stupid fucking pseudo labels “how is pan/omnisexuality transphobic and biphobic🥺i dont understand and ive never understood even though i have 5 bisexuals explaining it to me in this comment section and how it’s offensive to them for me to assume they only like cis men and women🥺bi people say they are only attracted to 2 genders so whats the big deal🥺” im literally going to smack you in the mouth with my baseball bat. blocked

#im tired. lmao #genuinely people need to get off this website and develop a personality that isnt their sexuality #like i get that it becomes a huge part of who u are once u accept yourself but it’s like #did you have a personality before. what are your interests. do u have a favorite color that isnt your flag #im a hater.#i will continue to be until ppl realize how much bisexuals are scorned #and honestly it’s upsetting that theyve always been so scorned and shunned and made fun of #that bisexuals feel the need to label themselves as something entirely new #something that means the same exact. EXACT. thing as bi #‘well it’s more comfortable for me to use this’—have you ever thought about why that is.#have you thought about what makes you so uncomfortable about the label? is it because you think you’ll be seen as tr*nsphobic?#or stigmatized as ‘actually being straight’ like others in the community have done for decades?#im so. i just spent all day exercising my brain with schoolwork #i go onto the gay trending tag and one of the first posts is just. hoardes of biphobic content and comments #im just here to have a good time and it gets worse every fucking day on here #you’ll listen to everyone in the fucking alphabet except when bisexuals say youre being oppressive and PHOBIC you gang up on them #and threaten actual violence #also bisexuality is NOT. and never HAS BEEN. attraction to 2 genders. get the fucking prefix assumption out of your tiny fucking head #anyways i love you transppl who stand in solidarity w us. you are the real ones

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sleepygaymerdisease · 1 year

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images that make me an instant hater

#im not a fan of gold leaf and i also dont like it when people use the price point as clickbait to justify its attention. especially because #it makes people think they need insanely expensive materials to make something 'worth looking at'. idk. like im sure you can make something #interesting with this much gold leaf but to me it's usually just flaunting your status. especially when it's phrased like this for a video.#like wowww congratulationssss you want to be praised for buying expensive supplies and spending a long time on an artwork...... ok.#lots of people spend a long time on art. thats just how it works! also there's been a shift online (mostly in videos) to uplift an artist's #process? like why does that have to be filmable and marketable... it used to be behind the scenes stuff. but now its often expected?#idk. im just having a lot of thoughts rn dont mind me lol #anyway. im a gold leaf hater #anis gaymer moments

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godofsmallthings · 2 years

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thinking about the push and pull of music as art and music as play and how it can never truly fall into either category without losing something

#i genuinely don't think anti hero remix is even a bad thing #i think it's funny and it was intended as such #but it's so interesting that the industry is set up in a way to allow (and even encourage) 'joke' songs #for lack of a better term #like i'm sure they were just fucking around in the studio and were like. lol. this is so funny. let's drop it.#(and i'm sure there was a reason for the timing like a push for charts or something idk when counting periods end whatevr)#but yeah anyway i think it's stupid fun #and i think music can be valued and also be silly sometimes #(but when it can be silly and isn't valued--aka its current state--that's when it starts becoming like. an advertisement for the product #vs the actual product)#anyway i used to be so conflicted about like. justin bieber's i feel funny for example #because i was like ughhhh but noooo music is artttttt and this is diminishing its valueeeee #but also that song fucking slaps and i genuinely listen to it all the time because it's funny as hell #it has much more value in my own life than any other justin bieber song #and then you have like the opposite extreme with wu tang #with once upon a time in shaolin and it being soooo like Art that it isn't even accessible #anyway these thoughts are very half baked i need to get off tumblr and do my hw #vi is typing...

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birdmenmanga · 2 months

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renege when magi started off with spectacular pacing and worldbuilding and digestible and memorable political commentary and then went too abstract and tsubasa reservoir chronicle (derogatory). is anyone else mourning that or just me

#just thinking thoughts...#i went back to read its opening chapter a while ago and the only thing that stood out to me as bad was the breasts obsession #everything else was really good...#sorry. thinking abt this because i just started reading shoukoku no altair just now and like #i think it wants to be like midseries magi but is falling short in several aspects #firstly there's not enough love in the backgrounds imo.#the sense of the world isn't good (though i think part of it is due to the scanlators not translating the map labels?!)#but it's just like... it somehow feels generic even though there's a VERY specific time and place they're drawing from #and like the pacing of that first chapter... it's just so close. they didn't need that 1 page spread of mahmut trying to find evidence #if you were going to show that you needed to at least commit to the bit and show his thoughts getting more desperate #if the whole gimmick is that they used the wrong type of feather for the arrow this is how it should have gone.#he looks at the arrow early on (i don't think he looks at it until the end) ->#he starts looking for evidence and asking people around. during this time he is getting visibly desperate ->#at the end of the day he sadly pets his falcon feeling as though he had failed and WHILE HE IS STROKING HIS PET BIRD'S WINGS #he recalls the type of feather on the shaft. that's how it should have gone.#that's how it should have gone.#also since a lot of the words are turkish i think it also introduced too many unfamiliar thoughts names and concepts all at once #like it could have been clearer that pasha was a title and not a surname #i like that all the characters had monikers to help people remember them but again.#too much worldbuilding too fast #it's kind of giving de with the information overload but the key difference in that is #in de infodump is opt-in and not required for the actual plot #i think shoukoku no altair has a built world but everyone already knows how it works and it wouldn't make narrative sense #to explain it in depth through the dialogue #anyways. it IS interesting reading it because it's like. ALMOST there.#i anticipate it getting better rather than worse

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sleepii-moth · 4 months

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the fact that fnaf after everything with its creator still has adult fans and is getting new merch, games, and other things made for it is wild to me. regardless of how you feel about death of the author or whatever, the new fnaf content that is being made is getting less and less coherent plot wise and the gameplay is getting repetitive. From an objective standpoint i think that the first fnaf game was never meant to be what the series became. As someone who has a general knowledge of how games are made, especially when it comes to narrative driven games, it was clearly meant to simply be a gameplay focused horror game with a little story thrown in to give some cool backstory and add some mystery, and then maybe there'd be a few more games in the series that expand on the mechanics and elaborate on the story a bit but its pretty reasonable to assume that the story of the game was meant to be mostly up for interpretation and that as a series, it wouldnt be too long. Unfortunately though, it ended up gaining fame and people reading more into it which definitely contributed to the series being what it is now (and also yknow.. money is another reason.) It sort of ended up having a certain Supernatural (tm) effect where it kept getting worse but people still watched it which i guess answers my question of why people still like it (because people arent willing to let things they like go even if theyre bad) but that is an unfulfilling answer to me and theres definitely a more fulfilling one

so im wondering now.. are people (not counting kids for a reason) who still like fnaf holding onto the series because they liked the concept (of animatronics, a sprawling mystery, and other things) and have never found or heard of other things that share those same concepts? Or is it really just simply holding onto things that are nostalgic to them? Im genuinely curious because i have been into things that just got bad because they went for too long or tried to do convoluted things with the story that i just moved on from. I still remember when i was younger i watched supernatural with my sibling, and did really enjoy it, we got pretty late in the show before my sibling told me they thought it was getting worse and didnt want to watch it anymore. Of course as a kid who didn't really even know how to tell if a form of entertainment was bad, i was a little upset and didnt understand why but agreed anyway. And so we stopped watching supernatural and watched other things together like steven universe that we ended up liking way more. Occasionally there would be tv show or anime that just ended up sucking and from then on we just stopped watching it and watched something else.

I think the reason i fully stopped liking fnaf was partly that i recognized the content i was watching for it (like lets plays or theory videos) were getting worse and i also just grew out of it? As the years went on i got into other games like half life or portal that had way more fulfilling stories to me that i enjoyed a lot more so fnaf just became something i didnt care about. fnaf is like the cracker barrel of video games to me, i went there as a kid because other people liked it so i was supposed to also like it and mostly really liked it because it was restaurant food and to a kid thats better than anything you get at home (and also they have little toys), and then one day when i was older and had gone to more different places i sat down, ate my food, and thought "wow this is bad actually," and never ate there again. And all of that is to say i really do wonder if the majority of adult fans of fnaf still like it because its one of the few games theyve engaged with in their life, and that if they were to expand their palette, try new things, and look back on their interests, then theyd be able to more easily accept its (and its creators) problems and move on from it as purely a thing of their past. because i promise you, there are better things out there, not everything is cracker barrel or supernatural, theres genres youve never even heard of, games that no one knows about waiting to be played, theres the sprawling mysteries of Outer Wilds, the gut wrenching horror of Devotion, the captivating characters of Psychonauts, the expansive world building of Half Life, there are so many better things out there made by better people. Letting go of something doesnt hurt as much when you have more things to enjoy. There are better things out there, you just have to stop looking in the same place.

#also if you have (or still do) like fnaf i wanna know either why you still like it or what specifically made you stop liking it :0 #this has been on my mind for a few days i think its just an interesting thought because i think people like to care when people who make th #things they love really suck and i think it makes sense that someone would try so hard to justify just not letting go of it because they #dont have anything else. i think this is something you especially see with things that arent media too #if people are telling you not to go to a certain restaurant or store or something because it supports bad things and you havent tried #many other places and enjoy going to those places so you keep going to them anyway i dont think that alone makes someone a bad person #i think it just means youre scared of trying new things. like you can make coffee at home! you can try the special coffee beans you saw at #the store or a new creamer that looked interesting! instead of treating yourself to fast food you can buy other premade treats or just make #yourself some really good food you like to eat instead! i think the reason most people have trouble not going to chic fil a or starbucks #or whatever is because theyre too used to doing what they already do so they dont want to change #this is something i definitely need to work on but im just sort of in a situation where me doing anything outside of the norm is looked dow #on and made fun of by the people who i live with so i think im just gonna wait a while haha

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