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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

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Waiting for you - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

i wrote it over like a month ago, but kept it for today, i hope yall will like it! it’s a cute bestfriends to lovers fic, so yeah... happy holidays, hope you are having an amazing time!

word count: 13k

masterlist

Harry Styles has been a household name around your home, but not for the reason many would think. While for the rest of the world he was the famous singer, former member of One Direction and recent solo artist, the guy who performs at the biggest arenas, wins awards and sings his heart out through the radio, for you and your mom he was the goofy, curly haired boy who lived across the street with his mum, sister and stepdad.

You still remember all too clear the first time you met him. You and your mum just moved into your new home after the nasty divorce of your parents, ready to start a new life. You’ve barely turned twelve, it was quite the awkward stage of your teenage years, you were still trying to find yourself on the rocky road of growing up. Moving to a whole new town and switching schools were terrifying and you had quite a few nightmares about possible outcomes of being the new girl in the neighborhood.

You and your mum just finished unpacking the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and you wandered behind her, curiously peeking at the guests under her arm as she held the door open.

“Hi! We saw the trucks and thought we would say hi! I’m Anne and this is my son, Harry,” the nice woman greeted your mum and stepping aside she gestured towards the teenage boy standing next to her.

His green eyes fell to you almost immediately and you forgot to breathe for a moment. You were not the kind to crush that easily on guys, well, not until you laid your eyes on Harry. He smirked at you, nodding in your way in such an easy-going manner and you could feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

Anne and your mum quickly became good friends. She was the rock your mum definitely needed after such a bad year behind her and you were glad she found support in such a wonderful woman as Anne. Their newly funded friendship got stronger day by day until the two families just… simply felt one.

Growing up the Styles siblings and Anne came and go in your home as if they lived there too. On many occasions you came home from school only to find Anne in the kitchen while your mother wasn’t even home. Anne always knew when your mum was working the night shift at the hospital where she was a nurse and always made sure you had a warm dinner on those evenings, often inviting you over to just stay at theirs while your mum was away working. Birthdays, graduations, Easters and Christmases, they were all spent at either yours or at the Styles home, strengthening the bond between the two families.

You have always had a strong friendship with Gemma, but maybe because you were closer in age or for something else, but you became the closest with Harry. Two peas in a pod, as your mums liked to call the two of you. You weren’t just neighbors or good friends, it was clear to anyone and to both of you as well that you were the best of friends. You were there for each other at the best and worst of times, before and after Harry’s launch to stardom. You were there with him all along, sometimes physically, sometimes just through text messages and reassuring calls when he just needed a piece of his home away from home. Late night calls and talks were your usual when he was on the road and he made sure to only talk about his life after you’ve told him everything about yours, even if the most interesting thing was that you were able to buy three socks for the price of two. Harry listened and cared for everything that happened to you, not letting you think even for a moment that he would forget about his best friend when he is on the other side of the planet.

The two of you grew up together and while his life consisted of concerts, screaming fans, telly appearances and award shows, your mundane everydays went on the same was as any normal young girl’s: you graduated from high school, went to uni and then started a career for yourself. As time was moving it became a little more and more complicated to stay as close as you used to, though, both of you terribly busy with your own personal lives, so the calls, texts and meetings became less frequent, but you were always able to pick up from where you left, it was as easy with him as it could be.

Maybe that’s why you grew to love him in a more than friendly way through the years. Slowly, but surely you started to realize what an amazing man he really was –is. It was impossible not to fall for him, however you valued your close friendship more than to just ruin it with dropping a bomb on Harry. You always thought he doesn’t feel the same way, so you were sadly left with your daydreams and fantasies about him only your bedroom walls heard.

This year it’s gonna be the tenth Christmas you get to celebrate together, quite the anniversary. There were only two years when you didn’t see each other during the holidays, the first one because you and your mum spent it in Canada with some relatives that live there, and the second one was because Harry couldn’t come home a few years ago, having a too tight schedule. But this year, everyone made sure to make it back home in time. Harry called you three month before Christmas to check in if you are still gonna coming home.

“Would be an idiot not to. Can’t wait to stuff my head with cookies!” you chuckled.

“Have you found your sweater yet?” Harry questioned, the muffled noise of the traffic around him broke through the line as he was on his way home when he called.

“Not yet. But I’ve been looking. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win this year,” you smirked in victory.

“Oh, not so fast with the assumptions, little girl!” he warned you making you laugh.

The two of you had a kind of tradition. Every year, you go on mission to find the ugliest Christmas sweaters one could find, and then perform a chosen song at the karaoke machine after dinner, entertaining the rest of the family. Those performances are the best memories you nurse. Your absolute favorite one was just a couple of years ago when Harry’s sweater was filled with weird looking reindeers in quite inappropriate poses, he even added a glittery pair of sunnies and he sang I Want To Break Free from the Queen. Everyone was on the floor laughing as he took the living room by storm as if it was the Maddison Square Garden filled with thousands of screaming fans, while it was just the five of you.

He won that year, Hell, even you voted on him, giving him the cleanest win of all times, but you swore to live up to that performance and you really feel like this year is gonna be your chance to live up to that promise. You have quite some tricks up your sleeves.

These past couple of years you were anxiously waiting for the holidays to roll around, because you knew you would get to spend so much time with Harry and through the year, even with several occasions of the two of you meeting, you missed him dearly. Sometimes you selfishly wished he would have just stayed the boy across the street so your lives could take tracks that run at least close to each other, but you always reminded yourself that his work was his life and you would have never taken away his true passion and happiness. Besides, you love watching him perform from time to time, that was just one of your favorite sides of him, see his eyes shine so bright as he sang to his fans. You used to envy the fangirls, it always seemed like he had a special connection with them, but you realized that you were one of them. You felt the same excitement when he stepped on the stage, you bought all his albums, even though he made sure you’d be one of the first people to get your hands on it. You had a second copy of them, because buying it gave you the extra jolt of happiness and the feeling that you were a tiny part of his success too. You watched all his music videos, knew the lyrics to his songs and cheered on him whenever he won another award. Difference was that at the end of the day you could call him and tell him how proud you were of him and he stared back at you with that beautiful grin, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks, telling you that he wouldn’t be here without you. You always knew he just said it to make you feel special, but he insisted it was the truth.

“I’m telling you. It you weren’t with me I would have gone crazy already, pulling a Justin Bieber or summat. Don’t think you are any less than what you are, that’s just daft.”

Every time he said something along those lines those damned butterflies in your stomach went crazy and you tried your best to ignore them. You didn’t always succeed, but the effort was there.

Now it’s two days before Christmas and you are already standing in your old room after coming home from London, leaving your small but cozy little apartment empty until the next year. The walls are still the same lilac color you chose when you were fourteen, a twin bed is pushed against the wall under your window, the wardrobe’s door is littered with old pictures from high school and ones you cut out from magazines. You just never got around to take them down and after a while it brought you a comforting sense every time you came home. A warm nostalgia took over you when you saw them, so they eventually stayed.

Your suitcase is lying on the floor as you unpack some stuff you’ll be using often during your stay, but you don’t get far in the packing when you hear an all too familiar voice coming from downstairs. Leaving your stuff as it is you rush down and throw your arms around Anne from behind, who is standing in the kitchen with your mum.

“My sweet angel! How are you?!” she cheers turning around in your hold to hug you back, giving you a tight squeeze before she pushes you away so she can have a good look on you. “Swear you get prettier every time I see you!”

“Stop it, my head’s gonna get big,” you chuckle feeling yourself blushing a little.

“Never gonna stop praising my daughter,” she smiles and gifts you with a cheeky wink.

Anne was never shy to let you know that she thought of you as a second daughter and you still remember how it felt when she called you that for the first time. It felt nice to know that you could count on her no matter what.

The three of you chat in the kitchen, Anne asks you about your job and how things have been going, she hasn’t seen you in a while. You missed the times when you could just go across the street and have a talk with her whenever you wanted, but since you’ve moved to London, Harry wasn’t the only one you didn’t get to see as often as you would have wanted. Your job and life overall got you so busy sometimes, you barely had time to call your own mum.

“Harry is arriving this evening. Wanna come with us to fetch him up at the airport?” she asks you and of course you say yes. You wouldn’t miss the chance to greet him with a bone crushing hug just after he lands.

However, as the time nears when you’d have to leave to the airport, Anne calls you up and asks if you could go on your own.

“I didn’t finish cooking and Gems is in an online meeting. Would you mind if you went alone?” she asks and though it sounds a little made up, you don’t question her.

On your way to the airport you are nervously drumming on the wheel, the thought of seeing Harry excites and worries you a little. It’s been months since you last seen him in the flesh and though you’ve talked plenty of times on the phone and in video calls, it’s just not the same. You find yourself wondering if he still smells the same, if you’ll fit the same way into his embrace as before. When you were younger you often liked to think about the two of you as two pieces of legos when you hugged. Your frame just fitted so perfectly against his body, he was your absolutely favorite person to hug.

Standing in a corner at the terminal, you keep checking the board until his flight’s status changes to landed. Then your eyes are glued to the sliding glass doors, knowing well it’s gonna take him some time to get his bags and walk out, but you are just way too excited to finally see him again.

People start walking through the doors and your head perks up every time you see a slightly tall frame, only to realize it’s still not him. Until it is.

You can’t bite your growing smile back when you spot him, a beanie and the hood of his hoodie covering his mop of hair, sunnies hiding his eyes, but you’d recognize him even from just the tiniest detail. You push yourself away from the wall as you see him look around, probably searching for his mum and sister, because he was already on his way when Anne decided it’s gonna be you who fetches him up, so he doesn’t know about the change.

“Excuse me, can I get a picture?” you ask teasingly walking up to him and for a moment you can tell he believes it’s a fan who recognized him, but his face quickly changes once his eyes land on you.

“Fo’ fuck’s sake, you had me for a second,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching out to pull you against him and you gladly envelop yourself into his hold. “What are you doing here?” he mumbles tightening his arms around you, and you don’t mind it. As you face is pressed into his shoulder you smile when you realize that he still smells the same. Like home.

“Your mum asked me to come and get you because she didn’t finish cooking. But if you ask me she just wanted to surprise you with me. You happy to see me?” you smirk up at him letting your head fall back so you could look into his eyes.

“Always,” he grins before placing a soft kiss to your temple and letting go of you.

The two of you leave the terminal before anyone could recognize him and packing his stuff up into the car you head back home.

You hand your phone over to him once you hit the road so he can be in charge of the music and it’s no surprise when he starts playing Christmas music straight away. Grinning to yourself you glance over at him and see him scrolling through your camera roll like the nosy little gremlin that he is.

“Hey! I did not give you permission to snoop around my phone!” you warn him, but don’t try to snatch it away from him, there’s really nothing he shouldn’t see, besides, half of those pics have been sent to him through messages.

“Just tryna catch up w’ you,” he mumbles under his breath, continuously opening up photos he is interested in. “New couch, eh?” he asks showing you the screen for a second.

“Yeah, bought it a few weeks ago. You like it?”

“Looks comfy. I should try it out sometime.”

“You never sleep on my couch, what are you talking about?”

“Right, you always drag me t’ your bed,” he snorts and you gasp at him, smacking his chest gently.

“That’s so not true! You always just arbitrarily make yourself comfortable in my bed and I don’t have the heart to kick you out,” you correct him.

There hasn’t been many times when Harry crashed at your place, but when he did, he always slept in your bed with you, and the two of you have shared a bed a few other times prior too. It’s nothing new, though it does have a deeper meaning for you than for him, you think. Waking up with Harry snoring lightly next to you, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is in this intimate state, you just wish you could see him like this all the time.

Harry smirks at you cheekily, scrunching his nose as he chuckles.

“’Cause I wouldn’t want to sleep anywhere else, Love,” he says before turning his attention back to your phone while you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

It’s quite late by the time you get home, you’ve run into some traffic, but it just meant more time with Harry. You gladly listened to his stories and you are happy you got some alone time with him. Parking up to your driveway you help him unload his bags before locking the car.

“Wanna go to the Christmas market in the morning? Promised Gemma I’d go with her and Michal,” he asks, slowly walking down the driveway towards his home.

“Uh, sure,” you nod smiling. Not that you had any other plans, the holidays are reserved for family and the Styles’ are family.

“Great, I’ll be here at ten. And thanks for the ride,” he smirks waving goodbye and you watch him cross the street before he disappears in his home and you do the same.

“Y/N? Is that you?” your mum calls out when you walk in.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” you ask, hanging your coat before you join her in the living room.

“Not,” she smiles giddily. “Was everything alright at the airport?”

You throw your legs over her lap and she squeezes your ankles playfully.

“Yeah, everything fine.”

“How is Harry?”

“Cheeky and smug, as always,” you huff smirking.

“Can’t wait to see him. I feel like I haven’t seen ‘im in ages.”

“When are they coming over tomorrow?”

“Anne said she’ll come around four to help me cook, the rest I don’t know. Dinner will be done around seven though.”

“I’m pretty sure Gemma and Harry will be here along with Anne,” you snort, knowing well they wouldn’t miss a chance to come over, especially Harry. He has been talking nonstop how he’ll be glued to your hip once he is back home, making up for all the time you’ve spent apart.

“They surely will,” your mum chuckles before you both turn your attention at the telly.

You go to bed way after midnight and finish up the packing you left abruptly when you left to get Harry. Shuffling around in your room you glance out the window and see that the light in Harry’s room is on too. Peeking out you lean against the window’s frame, thinking about the times when the two of you sat in the window, talking on the phone after curfew, keeping your voice down so your parents didn’t wake up, sharing secrets and your silliest thoughts. With Harry, you never felt like you had to keep anything back, he would have never judged you for anything, you could be your true self around him and vice versa.

A tall figure appears at the window and as Harry glances out his window he is quick to see you sitting on the window sill, your head resting against the frame. The two houses are not far away from each other and you see him grinning as he sits at the window as well, pulling out his phone, a moment later yours starts buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly grab it, and go back to the window.

“Creeping on me, eh?” he hums into the phone and you roll your eyes at him.

“Was just admiring the street lights, don’t flatter yourself, your head is getting too big,” you huff, but you can’t push your smirk down.

“Admit it, you were hoping to see me roam around naked, weren’t you?”

“As if I haven’t seen you like that before,” you snort making him laugh too. It’s true, Harry has never been shy to get rid of his clothes and he also doesn’t bother to draw the blinds whenever he is changing. You once saw him butt naked when he was nineteen, and when you told him to close the blinds next time he is changing, he just shrugged with a smug smile.

“’M not ashamed of anything, Love,” he told you and you had to turn away because you were blushing for sure.

“Right, you’re a fan of putting yourself on full display when you’re naked, almost forgot,” you chuckle shaking your head. “Millions of girls have the picture of you, lying naked on their walls.”

“You one of them?” he cheekily asks.

“Nah, doesn’t go well with the vibe of my apartment.”

“Shame. Though I think it would definitely look amazin’ above your bed, Love.”

“Now would it? I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll get you a copy framed,” he smirks and you can see it clear even from the distance. “Y’ know what? I’ll make you an exclusive one. One that nobody else has, how does that sound?”

“I can’t believe you, Styles,” you chuckle shaking your head. “I’m not gonna answer this, just gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“So we’re not sharing any secrets like we used to? Thought you’d have something fo’ me.”

“You know everything, Harry,” you sigh with a soft smile, though your heart skips a beat. He does know everything, except one big, fat, heavy secret you’ve been carrying around for way too long, that will probably stay with you forever.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Night, Harry.”

“Good night, Love,” he murmurs and you know he is smiling, thought he steps away from the window as he says goodbye and you do the same before ending the call.

***

“Hey! That’s mine!” you protest as Harry steals another roasted chestnut from your little paper bag, but you can’t stay mad at him when he is smiling at you so sweetly.

“Sorry, tastes better when it’s someone else’s.”

“Sure,” you snort and just let him get as many as he wants. You wouldn’t have eaten it all anyway.

It’s quite cold out in the town, but at least there’s no rain or storm, so the weather didn’t try to ruin your little trip to the Christmas market.

Gemma calls out for Harry to show him something and you just keep wandering between the booths, enjoying the atmosphere quite a lot, you have no idea when was the last time you got to come to the market, though you always loved coming when you were younger.

Finishing up your chestnuts you throw the paper bag into a trash can and turn around to find the rest of your little group, spotting Harry and Gemma deep in discussion next to a booth that offers handmade ceramic mugs. As you walk closer it almost seems like as if they were having a fight, which is just odd, they rarely do that.

“Just get your head out of your arse!” you catch Gemma telling her brother who only groans in frustration before he spots you, a smile plastering across his face.

“Hey, there you are!” he beams.

“Everything alright?” you ask looking at them.

“Sure, just Gemma is being a little nosy, is all,” Harry waves in dismiss. You glance over to Gems, but she is already back in discussion with Michal so you decide to drop it. “You ate all the chestnuts?” Harry asks offended, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, it was mine, so of course I ate them!”

“Selfish,” he narrows his eyes at you, but you both know it’s just a joke.

You walk further down in the aisle, occasionally stopping at some of the booth when you spot a place that offers hot chocolate in cute little mugs that you can take home with you if you’d like, or just take it back and get your money back.

“Oh look!” you gasp excitedly and head towards the hot chocolate booth. The old lady smiles brightly at the two of you as you take a look at all the choices. “Oh my god, they have caramel flavored!” you cheer, basically already drooling at the thought of a good, caramel flavored hot chocolate.

“What can I get for the lovely couple?” the lady smiles warmly at the two of you and you freeze at her assumption.

“Oh we—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“A caramel flavored and a plain one, please,” he orders, without even batting an eye about how the lady just called you a couple. You can feel your cheeks heating up at the thought, but you try to calm yourself. He probably just didn’t want to get into explaining that you two are not an item and let her think what she wanted.

The nice lady hands you your mug and you take Harry’s as well as he pays for both of them. You would try to argue with him and pay yours, but you are already used to how stubborn he is and he never lets you split anything, it’s always on him.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Harry calls out to the lady before the two of you leave. You peek at him handing him his mug, looking for any clue that would give away if this little scene got him just as bothered as it did you, but he looks perfectly fine and relaxed, so you decide not to bring it up. You’re sure he didn’t think much of it.

Your little stroll stretches into the afternoon, the four of you decide to have lunch out there too, then you just opt for a walk in town as Gemma wants to do a quick last minute Christmas shopping, so by the time you get home Anne is already over at yours helping your mum with dinner. Tonight you are all eating at yours, then tomorrow it’s the Styles’ turn to host, this is how you agreed this year.

“Woah, it smells amazing!” you call out walking into the house. The delicious smells fill up the whole place and you hear the two women giggling in the kitchen.

“Hi Honey, how was the market?” your mum greets you, a glass of red wine in her hand and the same goes for Anne.

“Great, we have a new mug,” you say holding up the emptied out hot chocolate mug. Stepping to the sink you wash it quickly and drying off you put it away in one of the cabinets.

You stick around in the kitchen and not so much later Harry comes over, the two of you leave your mums alone and get comfortable in front of the telly.

All channels are filled with holiday movies and you don’t mind, really, you like them all even if you’ve seen them a million times, you still find them funny and cute. Harry feels the same way, so when you settle on Love Actually he doesn’t say a word.

What startles you is that he grabs your ankles and pulls your legs over his lap, a small shriek escaping your mouth since you weren’t expecting him to do that. You’re sitting sideways, your legs are bent at the knee and Harry is kind of hugging them as his eyes are glued to the screen.

You find it rather hard to focus on the movie when Harry’s fingers keep fidgeting on your legs, they keep running up and down, sometimes he lays his hands flat on your knees, there’s no spot he hasn’t touched since you started watching the movie.

About an hour into the film he turns to you and you look at him in question.

“’M in the mood to cuddle,” he announces and starts moving around, not even letting you protest as he basically crawls to your lap, resting his head on your stomach as the two of you lay on the couch.

“Am I now your personal pillow?” you ask chuckling, but you wouldn’t want him to move for anything. Feeling him weigh down on you just feels so warm and simple but amazing.

“The best one,” he mumbles, bringing a hand to your side as you let your fingers comb through his curls.

You keep massaging his scalp and he lets out soft moans when you go over a soft spot, you can’t help but chuckle as he melts under your hands. His fingers start drawing circles on your side and the movie is long forgotten by you, all you can focus on is how great it is to have Harry so close to you. He is known to be a physical person, you are used to hugs and touches, but it seems like he is a little needier now than the usual.

You don’t mind it though, you just try to enjoy the moment, because it can end anytime.

Gemma and Michal come over a little before seven, and while your mums finish up the cooking the four of you set the table. You grab the crystal glasses and start placing them to the table, Harry lending you a hand. Once the table is all set you shuffle into the kitchen to see if there’s anything you can help with, Harry following you behind, placing a hand to the small of your back.

As you stand and wait for you mum to finish up the meals so you can help carry them to the table you feel Harry’s hand wander over to your hip, giving it a squeeze as he stands closer, so his chest is pressed against your back.

“Harry?” you ask a little out of breath.

“Hm?” he innocently hums.

“What’s with you today?” Turning your head to the side your eyes lock with his, but he just shrugs smiling.

“Guess I just missed yeh a lot.”

“You’re weird,” you chuckle shaking your head, but don’t make an effort to push him away. His touch feels way too good to put an end to it and you just want to be selfish a little longer.

His hands leave you when the two of you help to bring the food to the table, and you almost wish they would just return, but you gotta swallow the thought.

The food is amazing, as always. You all sip on some wine, just having a genuinely good time, enjoying that all of you are back at one place, something that rarely happens now that all three of you kids are all grown up.

At one point Harry rests his arm on the back of your chair, no one seems to notice but you. All these little things have been driving you crazy all day and your mind seems to be playing a nasty game with you. There’s no way Harry thinks of these details more than what they are, a friendly gesture towards an old friend of his.

When Gemma is telling a story about some weird guy she met at work Harry reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear, his finger lingering over your neck a little longer than you would have expected. Turning to face him you give him a questioning look, not sure what to think about his needy and touchy self all of a sudden.

“What?” you mouth him, but he just smiles at you absentmindedly, curling a strand of hair around his finger, playing with it for a moment before letting go of it and going for another lock. You reach up and pull his hand away, feeling yourself heating up from his touch, but when you are about to let go of his hand he grabs yours, lacing your fingers together with yours as he rests them on his thigh.

“Harry…” you breathe out, glancing at the others, relieved to see that they are not paying much attention to the two of you.

“What? Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks with a smug smirk and you roll your eyes at him.

“As I said, you’re weird,” you mumble under your breath looking down at your now empty plate. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“But like, the good kind of weird, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you chuckle shaking your head at him.

You try to tell yourself he is just needy because it’s been so long since you last saw each other. It can’t be more, you push even the smallest thought to the back of your mind, though it surely lingers there throughout the evening.

He helps you with washing the dishes, you stand arm to arm at the sink as you scrub the plates and hand over to him for drying. He gently hums to himself all along, swaying his hips, bumping against yours. At first you resist it, but then you catch the rhythm and start moving along, so your hips meet in the middle before swinging to the opposite side.

“What’s the song?” you ask finishing up the last plate.

“Just something random,” he shrugs smirking over at you. You hand him the last plate, he is still singing, making up gibberish lyrics to his song and once he puts the plate down he throws the kitchen cloth to the counter and easily grabs your waist pulling you against him as he starts swaying with you to his impromptu song. You let out a small shriek at the sudden movement, but eventually melt into his hold. The humming slowly turns into an all too familiar melody as Harry starts singing Sweet Creature into your ear, slow dancing in the kitchen while you hear your mums and Gemma laugh outside somewhere.

Your hands run up his arms and stop behind his neck as you lock your fingers and let him hold you close, his palms are pressed to your waist, fingers gently stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You take a deep breath and his cologne fills your nose, one of your favorite scents, sometimes you just wish you could spray it on your pillow so it would always smell like him.

“Sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home…” he softly sings, leaning back just enough for your eyes to meet. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest, it’s not the first time you feel so intimidated by him, like you could pass out any moment, but this is a little different. As if his eyes were telling you another story, but you can’t completely make up the words.

“Sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home, you’ll bring me home.” He finishes the song, hums the closing melody and you watch him in complete awe. Your lips part when you catch his gaze move down to them and you swear you see him leaning closer, as if he is about to kiss you. Your breath gets caught in your throat, he is so close, just a few more inches and you’d taste those perfect lips of his, the ones you’ve been dreaming about for way too long.

It almost happens, it seems, but just when that last push is about to set in Gemma waltz into the kitchen and you step back faster than light, pushing him away even though the sudden lack of his touch is more painful than you were expecting.

“You guys—Oh, what’s up?” she asks stopping at the door and you feel yourself getting redder with each passing moment, the heat crawling up your neck, ears cheeks, right to the top of your head. What were you thinking? You let yourself believe Harry would ever kiss you, this whole scene was nothing more than just a friendly moment the two of you were sharing.

“I’m—sorry,” you breathe out making your way out of the kitchen, right up to your room to have some well needed space.

“Way to ruin everything,” Harry snickers at his sister.

“You joking? You wanted to kiss her in her mum’s kitchen?” Gemma snaps at him in disbelief.

“We were having a moment,” he mumbles rubbing his face with his hands. “Up until you stomped in with your big mouth.”

“Well, if you were havin’ a moment, just make it happen again.”

“As if it’s that easy, Gemma!” he scoffs throwing his hands in the air.

“Man up and tell her how you feel, don’t have to complicate it too much,” she shrugs before walking out and leaving her brother alone. Harry growls in frustration, the gears in his head turning wildly as he is trying to figure out how to come clear to you about his feelings.

Meanwhile, up in your room you get out your laptop and busy yourself with checking up on messages and emails you’ve been ignoring, hoping that the uneasy feeling in your chest will ease very soon. Your hands were shaking when you locked yourself up in your room, but as you get focused on other tasks you slowly gain your balance back.

You kind of even forget that the Styles’ were over, you only realize that you abruptly pulled yourself out of the evening when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Come on in!” you call out and a moment later Harry’s head pops in, eyes softly falling on your sitting figure on the bed. “Hey,” you smile at him faintly.

“Hey. Thought you were sleepin’s or summat.” Coming inside he closes the door behind him then sits on your plush rug in the middle of the room.

“Just… sorted some work related things out,” you sigh.

“Working during the holidays? Tha’s not healthy.”

“I know, I’m done,” you smile shutting the laptop down and putting it aside. “Sorry I disappeared, I just—“

“No worries,” Harry shakes his head. “Mum and Gems went home, they thought you were sleeping too, tha’s why they didn’t say goodbye.”

“Oh, alright.”

“But I thought we could have a sleepover,” he peeks at you with a boyish smile.

“What, like we did in middle school?” you chuckle.

“Yea, thought it would be fun.”

“Well, I don’t think my bed would fit us comfortably and we don’t have the mattress anymore that you used to sleep on,” you tell him looking around.

“Nonsense, I’m not tha’ big,” he insists hopping to his feet and throwing himself on the bed, ignoring that you’re already there. His body takes up more than half on the bed , limbs wrapping around you as he brings you down to the mattress next to him, you can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips.

“You’re like a gigantic baby, Harry!” you laugh as he keeps you down on the bed with his arm.

“It’s perfectly fine for two people,” he mumbles with a smirk, closing his eyes as his head sinks into your pillow.

“Do you ever get no as an answer?” you ask looking at him in awe. You can never get used to seeing him so up close, like not many get to.

“No,” he huffs in satisfaction, his arm bringing you closer to him and you just giggle at him.

“I’m not sleeping just yet, gotta have a shower first.”

“Do what you want, I’ll be here,” he mumbles but you snort at him.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed without having a shower,” you tell him before you grab your pajamas and head to the bathroom.

You have a quick shower and get done with all your evening business. Returning to your room you find Harry sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed as he is scrolling through his phone.

“Does mum know you’re staying over?” you ask him as you throw your used clothes into the hamper, moving around the room while feeling his eyes on you.

“Yeah. ‘S all good.”

“You need a towel?”

“Yes please,” he says pushing himself up from the floor.

“Clothes?” you ask with an arched brow. He just grins at you and it’s enough of an answer. “Here,” you give him the shirt and sweats he has left at yours quite some time ago, along with a clean towel.

“Thanks,” he smirks before leaving to occupy the bathroom.

He doesn’t take long in there, you’re lying in bed already when he returns, smelling like your shower gel, strawberry and melon.

He throws his clothes to the chair in the corner and then lies beside you on the bed. You scoot over to the wall to give him space, but he is quick to bring you closer to him once he has made himself comfortable. You lay your head on his shoulder as you are both scrolling through your phones.

When you had enough, you throw yours to the nightstand, and stay cuddled up to his side.

“Do you remember the last time I slept here?” he asks tossing his phone to the nightstand and bringing his arms around you.

“Mm, was it at my twentieth birthday?”

“Yeah. You were so wasted,” he chuckles and you smirk to yourself

“But you took good care of me.”

“I did. You were so cute, rambling about how much you love me when I took you home from the pub.”

You bite into your bottom lip. You still remember that night vividly. Your birthday party had gone a little wild and you had gotten drunker than you intended to. Luckily, he was there to bring your home and he stayed in the bathroom with you as you threw up everything you ate and drank that evening. Then he made you take a shower, got you fresh clothes out and helped you get into bed. He slept next to you that night, holding you in his arms, gently caressing your back and upper arm as you fell into your drunken slumber. In the morning you told yourself he just did what any other friend would do, helping you out when you were clearly knocked out, but he made you breakfast in the morning since your mum was working all night and morning and he stayed over later the afternoon to make sure you were alright.

What you told him in your drunken state about loving him, it wasn’t just your friendly side, it was your drunken self coming clear to him, telling him that you are in love with him, but he didn’t take it seriously and you were too ashamed and awkward to even bring it up to him after that, so it was all forgotten very soon.

Following that you planned on telling him how you feel, several times. You even wrote a little speech you planned to give him when the time comes, but you couldn’t do it. The fear of losing him if he doesn’t feel the same was stronger than you expected and every time you had the chance to come clear, you chickened out. The thought of losing him as a friend is way worse than having to push your feelings down... forever. You just can’t imagine your life without Harry in it and you can’t risk losing him.

The two of you talk for quite a while, laughing about the good old times, until you both fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and feel Harry wrapped around you, his head lying on your chest as he is snoring softly. He truly is like a big baby, an arm thrown over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours. Good Lord, how amazing it feels to have him so close to you!

Reaching up you tangle your fingers through his hair gently so he doesn’t wake up, his soft curls glide between your fingers easily and lifting your head you kiss the top of his head before letting yourself drift back to sleep.

When you open your eyes the next time the situation is the opposite, you are the one cuddled up to Harry’s side who is scrolling through his phone with one hand, keeping the other one on your arm.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he chuckles softly when he sees you awake.

“Mmm, what time is it?” you ask letting your head rest on his chest a little longer.

“Quarter to nine. You can sleep a little more if you want, it’s not that late.”

“No, I promised mum I’d help her wrap gifts,” you sigh rolling over to your stomach as you push yourself up to your elbows to look at him. “Love the double chin you got going there,” you tease him sleepily and he just smirks.

“Yea? Quite cute, right? Worked a lot on it,” he jokes running his finger over it before letting out a chuckle. “Ready for our battle today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You are going down this year, Styles,” you tell him pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Harry only pushes himself further on the bed enough to rest his head against the headboard.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be that sure about tha’,” he warns you, but you are feeling pretty confident about your performance this year. There’s no way he can top it.

“We’ll see. Alright, I need a coffee. Want something for breakfast?” you ask him crawling out of the bed.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Your mum is already in the kitchen, sipping on her morning coffee while reading the paper. She doesn’t find it even a bit weird that Harry spent the night at yours, it’s been quite the usual for you. Harry helps you make eggs and bacon and the three of you eat together, having a lovely time and you genuinely feel like it’s just like in the good old times when you were still living home and Harry wasn’t Harry Styles, but the boy from across the street.

He goes home after breakfast to help his own mum with the cooking for tonight’s dinner and you don’t do much for the rest of the day, just spend time with your mum, watch movies and relax. It’s nice to unwind after such a busy year behind you.

Not long before five you go to take a shower and get ready to head over to the Styles’ and you pack everything you’ll need for the evening: gifts, ugly sweater, accessories. Harry is going down this year for sure.

It’s a little past six when you and your mum walk across the street, Anne’s Christmas lights are putting the little town house into the spirit for sure. You don’t even ring the bell, just walk straight in, like you always do. The Christmas tree stands tall in their living room and the table is already nicely set. Gemma and Michal are snuggled up on the couch while Harry is helping Anne in the kitchen with the finishing touches.

“I’m rooting for you this year,” Gemma winks at you when you set down your bag in the corner that has everything you’ll need for your performance.

“He’s gonna lose this round,” you smirk proudly, very sure in yourself.

Harry greets you with a bright smile and a tight hug when he walks into the living room, as if you didn’t just see each other a few hours earlier.

When the food is ready you all sit down to eat, and though you’re trying your best to focus on the conversation, you’re getting excited about tonight’s karaoke battle.

“Anxious much?” Harry asks you quietly.

“Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer, just places a hand to your thigh stopping it from shaking, making you realize you’ve been probably bouncing it all along. He smirks at you as you just roll your eyes at him.

“’S okay, you can handle one more year of losing,” he teases you and you give him an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Harry,” you warn him, but he just squeezes your thigh again before bringing his hands back up to the table, leaving you a little breathless with his touch.

You all help clean up the table after dinner and when it’s done, you gather in the living room to open gifts.

When Harry’s career launched, the first few years you felt anxious about gifting him, because you felt like you couldn’t give him enough. He had all the money and bought everything he needed for himself, there wasn’t much you could give him. But when one time, you admitted to him this struggle of yours he assured you that it doesn’t matter what you give him, it’ll always be precious to him.

“You thought about me, you took the time to buy something for me, and that’s more than enough, Y/N,” he told you and though it took you time, but you got used to it. Especially when you saw the same excitement in his eyes every time you gifted something to him, you slowly but surely realized he wasn’t expecting a Gucci suit, but a thoughtful gesture.

Gathering in the living room you open the presents one by one and just as always, everyone was quite creative with the gifts. You can’t help but still feel a little anxious when Harry grabs his gift from you. Giving you an excited look he unties the little bow on the top and tears the wrapping paper off.

“Y/N!” he breathes out, eyes softening as he pulls the knitted cardigan out of the box.

“I always saw you wearing all sorts of cardigans and so I finally had a reason to learn how to knit, so I thought I would make one for you,” you ramble as he holds up the baby blue cardigan that has little daisies all over the front. It took you an entire week to just make the daisies, you worked on the whole cardigan for more than two months, usually in the middle of the night, staying up until unholy hours to finish in time.

But Harry’s smile is worth it all, he is beaming, clearly so in love with what you made him, so you breathe out relieved. He then puts it aside and wraps his arms around you pulling you into the tightest hug.

“Thank you, I love it so much,” he mumbles and kisses your temple and you breathe in his sweet scent, burying yourself in his embrace, hugging his waist.

When you part, Harry reaches for a box from under the tree and hands it to you, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. You can tell he wrapped the gift himself, the silver wrapping paper is a little uneven, but the huge rainbow colored bow on the top is the perfect touch that makes it like a piece of him.

You carefully tear the paper off, peeking inside you just see a plain box that doesn’t give much away. Glancing up at Harry you see how he is anxiously biting his bottom lip, even though you’d be happy with a gift as small as a candle. It’s the thought that counts.

“I-I wasn’t sure if this was the one you mentioned to me, so I hope it’s gonna be alright,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on your hands as they open the box, while you try to think back what you have told him about that caught his attention, but you just can’t recall what you wanted to get so badly you told Harry about it.

As you open the box you don’t process what it is immediately, the plastic wrapper making it hard to figure it out, but when you carefully pull out the object, you gasp in surprise.

“Harry!” you breathe out as you pull off the plastic of the old, vintage polaroid camera. It’s not one of these new types you can buy in stores easily, this is a classic, must have quite a history behind it.

Now you vaguely remember talking about longing for an oldschool, vintage camera, but it was months ago and you’ve forgotten about the whole thing since these devices cost a fortune because there aren’t many left from them. But now there’s one in your hands, because Harry not only listened to you, but he remembered and went out of his way to find you one in amazing condition.

“This must have cost a fortune!” you huff, your heart pounding in your chest, though you already know it doesn’t matter to him.

“This face is worth every penny,” he smiles at you softly before you throw yourself at him for another round of hugging. This man surely knows how to have you wrapped around his fingers.

The two of you sit on the floor as you figure out how to make the camera work, Harry bought everything needed, so you have a few packs of films as well. When it’s all done you bring it up to your face and aim it at Harry. It takes him a moment to realize that you’re about to snap your first photo and he tries to snatch the camera away, but it’s too late, the flash goes off and the device pushes out the undeveloped picture.

“You wasted your first snap on me?” he protests rubbing his eyes after the flash blinded him for a little.

“It’s not a waste,” you tell him as you patiently wait for the picture to finally appear.

Slowly, the colors start to show and in a couple of minutes Harry’s face appears, his hand reaching in the direction of the camera, looking out of focus, only his face appearing clearly. He looks so delicate, his eyes dazzling as a soft smile plays on his lips. This moment now will live forever not just in your mind, but on this photo.

Harry goes out with his karaoke performance this year for sure and you’d be actually anxious about him winning if only you didn’t have the absolutely best performance right in your pocket.

His sweater this year features some really ugly looking penguins and a horroristic reindeer on the back, it’s really ugly and you can’t even imagine who thought it would be fine to make it and then sell it. His choice of music is also excellent, he has a great eye for songs you’d never imagine him perform and then shock everyone with it. This year, he chose Rude Boy by none other than Rihanna, and it’s fantastic, no one can make it through the song without crying. Harry makes sure to put on his best show, even dancing and twerking unapologetically, trying everything to win the battle and you are amazed by his effort. Above all the fun and jokes, he nails the song, that’s undeniable. It always baffles you how he can just slay any and all genres, even the ones that stand a million miles away from his style.

When the song is over, you all cheer for him, because he truly deserves it. He grins down at you in victory, but you just give him a challenging smirk.

“You can just give up now, if you want,” he teases you as you stand up from the couch and the two of you trade places.

“Oh, I think you should be the one to worry about losing,” you warn him grabbing your bag. Stepping to Gemma you whisper into her ear, instructing her to put on your song when you call out from the bathroom, since you are planning on do a grandiose entrance. When she hears what song you’ll be singing she gasps.

“Oh my fucking God, no way!” he looks at your with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Harry asks, dying to know what you just told his sister, but you shake your head at him.

“Patience,” you tell him before locking yourself up in the bathroom.

This year, you didn’t find the sweater, the sweater found you. On one of your thrift tours, you were digging up a huge pile of clothes when you came right across it and you knew what you needed to do.

Putting on the sweater you fix up your hair quickly before putting on your party glasses, the one that lights up if you switch it on. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at your reflection knowing well you’ll have everyone dead when you walk out.

“Gemma! You can start it!” you call out with your hand on the doorknob, waiting to hear the music. Gemma quickly starts in and you haven’t even stepped out, you can hear a round of gasps.

Best Song Ever blasts through the speakers and you walk out trying your best to imitate a younger version of Harry, wearing the absolute ugliest Christmas sweater ever, that has the faces of One Direction all over it, filling up every inch of the fabric, and all of them have poorly photoshopped Santa hats on, it’s just literal trash and ridiculously perfect for the battle.

You grab the mic and start singing as everyone screams in the room. You jump, sing and even do the dance moves the boys do in the original music video, and when you look at Harry you see him staring at you in disbelief and total defeat. Everyone knows you won, nothing can top this performance ever and you could burst from the sweet feeling of victory.

By the end of the song everyone is up on their feet dancing and singing with you, a mini party forming in the middle of the living room and you all scream the last lines as the song comes to its end.

“I think we don’t even need to vote this time,” you say when the music stops, everyone screaming in agreement while Harry stares down at you, trying to hide his growing smirk.

“Where did you even find this?” he asks chuckling as he takes a better look at the sweater.

“At a thrift store, it called out my name, knew it’d be perfect.”

“It really is ugly, if I’m being honest,” he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again. “And the song… I accept defeat, you earned this victory, Y/N,” he tells you bowing and admitting your victory.

Later that night everyone is so keen on watching Holiday, you agree to stay even though you feel your eyelids heavily weighing down, threatening to close with each passing moment. You let your head rest on Harry’s shoulder and he presses his cheek against the crown of your head.

It’s not a surprise you fall asleep halfway into the movie, but what you weren’t expecting is to wake up and find yourself not on the couch anymore, but in Harry’s bed. It’s dark, only the moon is shining through his windows and as you turn to the right you see that he is sleeping peacefully next to you on his back, one arm spread next to him, hand hanging from the edge, the other one resting on his stomach, rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

Squinting your eyes you look at the digital clock on his dresser, it reads 3:23 am so you’ve been asleep for quite a few hours now. You don’t even remember him bringing you up here, but you’re definitely not mad that he didn’t bring you home, just up to his room.

Rolling to your side you give yourself a moment to adorn his beauty without fearing he would catch your wandering eyes. Everything seems so perfect about him, the line of his nose, his cupid’s bow that delicately rolls into her lips. The crease between his eyebrows, his soft skin on his cheeks, down his neck that runs into his broad shoulders and inked, strong arms. You truly think there’s no man that could compare to him and you are lucky enough to live your life so close to him, be able to touch him, hear his voice whenever you miss him, see his smile and share a connection with him.

It’s so silly, but you think of him as your personal ray of sunshine in your life. Just the smallest things about him can brighten your worst day, he’ll always have a special place in your heart, no matter where life takes the two of you.

Watching him sleeping you allow yourself to break free from your doubts and fears and scooting closer you shyly curl up to his side, your head resting on his shoulder, but you can’t even make yourself comfortable before you feel him moving under you.

Sucking on your breath you think he’ll push you away, not wanting you so close, but instead, he pulls his arm from under you, curling around your frame as he pulls you tight to him, almost making you lie on top of him. Your whole body is pressed against him and you mingle a leg between his long ones under the soft sheets. You let out a long huff at the warm touch of his body against your skin, completely lost in him.

“You alright?” he mumbles in his sleep laced voice, his eyes remain closed.

“Yeah. Is this okay?” you nervously ask as you lay your hand flat on his stomach. He brings his hand that was hanging from the bed on his other side and covers yours, as he squeezes you tight to his side.

“’M all yours,” he breathes out, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You’re sure he didn’t mean it like that, but it warmed your heart to hear it from him and you let your mind play with the thought that there was more behind his words than a friendly manner.

Nuzzling your head into his chest you close your eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat you let yourself fall back asleep.

Your morning is filled with coffee, pancakes, laughter and great company. Harry doesn’t let you leave without having breakfast with them, so you sit with the Styles family and laugh about the craziest stories from your teenage years.

“Remember when we tried to run away?” Harry grins at you, his red mug that had white polka dots all over it in his hands as he eyes you.

“Oh, how could I forget that?” you huff and Gemma turns to you with surprise in her eyes.

“Wait, I didn’t know about that!”

“Because we didn’t get too far,” Harry laughs. “We were, what, like fifteen?”

“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday,” you nod smiling.

“I had a fight with mum about God knows what, then stormed over to Y/N’s and talked her into running away. So we packed our backpacks and left.”

“Where did you go?” Michal asks with an amused grin as he listens to the story.

“We didn’t want to go into town, running into anyone we know, so we thought we would just go straight out to the meadow that’s there,” Harry says gesturing towards the window. The edge of the town is not so war, and a huge meadow lies there, a little stream running across it. “We walked for quite long, but then it started to get dark and we had nowhere to go, so we just ended up coming back home. No one even noticed we were gone, they thought we just went out to bike or something,” he finishes laughing.

“You knew about this?” Gemma asks Anne.

“Yeah, he came clear the next day, thinking he would piss me off with it, but I didn’t care, he came back for dinner, so it was alright,” Anne explains laughing.

It’s been so long since it happened, but I still remember it vividly, only that it was a more dramatic memory back then, now I can only laugh at it.

“We should go for a walk today,” Harry prompts to you.

“Wanna run away again?” you tease him.

“Always,” he chuckles.

You help cleaning up and agree with Harry to meet outside in an hour to take a walk to the meadow. Going home you take a shower and wash the dishes your mum left in the sink when she left for her morning shift. You put on a pair of boyfriend jeans, a warm sweater and your jacket with your trusty boots and you walk out the house right when Harry steps out as well. He grins in your way as the two of you meet in the middle of the street. He holds his arm out for you.

“M’ lady?” he smirks as you link your arm with his and the two of you head out for your little walk. It’s a gloomy day, might rain later as well, but it’s dry so far, so you’re just hoping to get home before it starts raining. Your runaway attempt wasn’t the only time the two of you came out here, it was kind of your place when you felt like having a break from everyone else. You biked out here, brought your favorite snacks and just ran around, enjoying the stillness.

However it also holds a bitter memory as well.

A little further down among the trees happened Harry’s first kiss and you witnessed it, feeling your heart break to a million pieces when you saw him lock lips with someone who wasn’t you.

Debby Hamilton was a friend of yours in sixth grade, you’d say, your only friend beside Harry and the three of you often hung out together around that time. Debby was a delight, you always desired to be more like her, boys liked her and she knew it damn well, but it didn’t make her cocky and egoistic. You always thought Harry had a crush on her, why would have he? They kind of looked cute together.

It was a Friday afternoon and Harry asked if you wanted to come out and listen to his new cassette he got for his old Walkman he refused to get rid of as technology was evolving. You figured he’d want Debby there as well so you invited her along, but didn’t tell Harry. He never made a move on Debby and you thought he was just looking for the right time.

That afternoon, you were supposed to meet them out there at five, but you didn’t leave until half past five and it takes about twenty minutes to get out there. Though you gave them the alone time technically, it still startled you when you found them under one of the oak trees, Debby leaning her back against the tree as Harry stood in front of her. She was smiling up at him sweetly, saying something to him and you were just about to call out for them and apologize for being late when Harry ducked his head and kissed Debby right in front of your eyes.

That was your first and probably worst heartbreak and you were only twelve. You felt betrayed, hopeless and naïve to think Harry would ever have a thing for you when there were girls like Debby. You left without letting them know you were there. When Harry asked you later why you didn’t come you told him you felt sick to your stomach, which wasn’t a total lie, you had quite the nausea after seeing Harry with Debby, but he didn’t have to know all the details.

He later told you about kissing Debby and you pretended like you didn’t know about it. However they never dated and not long after their kiss Debby drifted away from the two of you. Not that you minded, you had a bitter feeling every time you had to look at her after that, jealousy raging in your chest knowing that she got Harry’s first kiss.

He didn’t bring it up after and you weren’t keen on talking about it, but you still know which tree they were standing under and now as you near the area you see that it still stands tall near the tiny stream.

Peeking up at Harry you see that his eyes are focused on the same tree, but then he catches you looking.

“Memories?” you innocently ask, feeling your chest tightening. You don’t even know why you asked. It’s been over a decade since that kiss, you are both adults, but you still can’t help the sadness that washes over you at just the thought, why would you want to get him talk about it now?

“’S just… that’s the tree I kissed Debby when I was twelve,” he mumbles with a shrug. Biting into your bottom lip you look at the old oak tree nodding your head and before you could stop yourself, you speak up.

“I know.”

“What? How would you? I never told you,” Harry asks stopping, a puzzled look pulling on his face.

“Well I… It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“It does. Tell me!” he pleads standing in front of you.

“I know it, because… I was here.”

“You what?”

“I came, I was just very late. And when I arrived you two were standing there and I saw you kiss. I thought I shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening so I went home and let you two be,” you explain, changing it up a little bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why is it important that I saw it? It doesn’t change anything, right?” you ask with a smile that you intended to look innocent, but deep down it’s filled with pain.

Harry opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then remains silent and you are done talking about it, so you just quietly keep walking, Harry catching up with you a few moments later.

It’s awfully quiet after your revelation, it seems like Harry is deep in his thoughts and though you’re dying to know what’s occupying his bright thoughts, you’re kind of afraid you’d hear something you didn’t want to.

The two of you soon head back home and slowly, but you forget about the whole Debby thing. Harry starts talking again, but he looks a little keyed up still when you reach your street.

“Wanna come over later?” you ask standing on the pavement in front of your house, it’s just an innocent question. Harry nods his head.

“Sure. Is your mum working?” he asks glancing at the house, though he knows she is, the car is not on the driveway.

“Yeah. She’ll be home around six.”

He nods again and you want to ask if he is alright, but you decide not to. You share a quick hug before he heads over to his home and you do the same. The house waits for you in silence and when the door clicks behind you, it weighs down on you heavier than you were expecting. You hang your jacket, kick your boots off and throw yourself to the couch, covering your eyes with your arm as you huff out in frustration. You feel silly for getting upset about such a small thing even after so much time, but you just can’t help it.

You barely realize the sound of the front door opening, taking your arm off your eyes you see Harry walk in, eyebrows furrowed, a worried look on his handsome face.

“Harry—“ “I was waiting for you that day,” he simply says as you sit up with wide eyes, confused about what he is really talking about.

“What?”

“That day, we agreed to meet out there to listen to my new Stevie Wonder cassette, but you didn’t show up, Debby did even though I didn’t invite her out there.”

“Well, I did, thought you wanted her there too,” you explain, startled by the situation.

“I would have invited her if I wanted her to be there, but I wanted to be with you. Only you.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you breathe out, not seeing where he is going with it.

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he huffs and he is right. You don’t. “I wanted to meet you, but you never came, or at least I thought. Then Debby showed up, I was frustrated that you weren’t there and she was being all nice, telling me how cute I looked when I was worried and it all just happened so fast and… I didn’t even want to kiss her.” He looks properly upset telling you the story and he takes a deep breath before his eyes meet yours with a hard stare. “I wanted to be with you,” he repeats.

“Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

He shakes his hair, not even letting you finish, because he knows what you wanted to say and that you still don’t understand the meaning behind his words.

“Y/N, I wanted to kiss you,” he then finally says and you suck on your breath as he continues. “Well, not right then and there, but I’ve been meaning to kiss you, I just didn’t know when. I thought that if we have a moment that afternoon I’d do it, but you never came and I was mad and disappointed. I hated myself for kissing Debby, because I didn’t really want to, it just… happened. I wanted to tell you, and I intended to do it when I told you we kissed, but you acted so happy, I figured you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for you. So I didn’t tell you the rest, but…” He sighs in defeat, looking for words, but he ran out.

“Why are you telling this to me now?” you ask a little out of breath, your head feeling heavy at the new information you just heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw us and why did you go home without a word?” he asks ignoring your question.

“I… don’t—“

“Don’t try to lie.”

Gulping hard you lick your dried lips as you stare back at him.

“Because I was… jealous.” Your voice comes out only as a whisper. Harry’s lips part as he takes two steps closer to you.

“You had feelings for me?” he asks and you just nod your head, not trusting yourself with your voice. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you whisper your answer and Harry lets out a sharp breath as he leaps across the room in your way. You jump to your feet, thinking that he’ll lash out on your for keeping it a secret and you open your mouth to explain yourself, but you never get to speak up because as Harry reaches you, one hand snaps to the back of your neck, the other one to your waist, yanking you against him as his lips crash to yours.

You gasp in surprise, but it doesn’t take long to kiss him back, your numb mind blindly reacting to his sudden action. Your hands snake up to the back of his neck as you pull him closer, returning his hungry kisses. His soft lips feel so smooth and warm against yours and when his tongue runs along your bottom lip you whimper letting your tongues meet in the middle.

He is intoxicating and it doesn’t help that your adrenaline level is up in the sky, you’ve fantasized about it way too many times, and now that it’s happening your body is burning in flames. He kisses you all over and over again, his body pressing against yours hard and when he even leans in making you lean back, you lose balance and the two of you fall to the couch, both of you gasping as you are forced to part your lips.

“Fuck,” you chuckle as Harry is basically lying on you, holding himself up on his arms, but you feel him everywhere.

“’M sorry, I got a little carried away, but I’ve been dying to do this since forever,” he admits chuckling as he lifts his head and looks down at you with those bright green eyes of his.

“Really?” you breathe out, only slowly processing what’s really just happened.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you hiding behind your mum.”

“Idiot, you were just a kid, you weren’t in love,” you chuckle, running up your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers playing with the soft curls. He smirks and nuzzles his nose against yours.

“Oh, I was, I just didn’t know it yet.” Leaning down he pecks your lips softly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. Though I was growing impatient these last few years.”

“Yeah?” you chuckle.

“You can’t imagine,” he huffs shaking his head. I almost kissed you the other day in the kitchen, but Gemma completely ruined the moment.”

“I’m sorry I ran away, I was just—“ “No need to apologize. I guess it all played out well after all, right?” he smirks and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I guess,” you breathe out and the smile slowly fades from your lips. “And now what?” you ask quietly, staring up at him.

“Now… We’ll try to make things work. Test the waters. I’m very serious about this, Y/N,” he tells you. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life so I’m not gonna let go of you now.”

“You have no idea how happy this is making me,” you choke out feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Oh Love, please don’t cry,” he begs and leaning down he kisses your tears away. “I’m right here, with you. Sorry it took me so long you get here, but I’m here now.”

“I know,” you huff blinking away the tears as you pull him down and press your lips to his. “I love you, Harry,” you whisper against his perfect lips. You feel him exhale sharply as he keeps kissing you before he lifts his head so your eyes meet again.

“I’ve always loved you.”

Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles xyou #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #fanficmas2020 #fanficmas 2020 #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas 2020

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1232

Did you make any money today? Not today, because it’s a weekend.

What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I’m not too sure, actually. I tend to be cautious when it comes to jumping just because I always have this fear at the back of my head that I could possibly snap my legs in half upon landing lol.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river? I don’t think I have.

Is there something you really want to buy at the moment? I want a jumbo RJ doll but it’s quite expensive and not one of my priorities at the moment.

Would you ever consider culinary school? I want to learn how to cook but not passionate enough about it to enroll in culinary school altogether, so no.

What was the last souvenir someone got you? It’s been a while since anyone went anywhere...

Do you have a favorite remix of a song? I’ve never enjoyed remixes and just stick to original versions of songs. The one remix I’ll give a pass to is BTS’ Mic Drop with Steve Aoki just because that one includes a dance break that sounds really nice and gets me all hyped up.

Has the power gone out recently? Yeah, like two weeks ago. I was working from home then so it had been a huge bother, but fortunately I had been charging my devices all day and also had enough data on my phone so I was able to continue.

Do you like driving at night? It’s ok and actually pretty relaxing if it’s LATE late at night and there’s barely any cars. Driving in the evening during rush hour, on the other hand, is just fucking stressful.

What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Depending on how it’s played, probably the piano or violin.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Yes. It’s a pretty influential factor.

Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No.

If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? I mean, it’s not really on top of my bucket list but for the sake of travelling and experiencing a different place and culture I definitely would go to Ireland.

Are you afraid of standing on the edge of hills/skyscrapers/cliffs etc? I am scared but whenever I’m given the chance to do this I kind of scrap that fear first and live in the moment.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar etc)? No.

Do you have an absolute favorite name (boy or girl)? Alessandra, 120%. It is so beautiful-sounding, plus I love that you can use "Alessa" as a nickname. My Silent Hill obsession is quite thrilled by that, ha ha. < I love that name too, now that I think about it. For now, I think Olivia still tops my list.

Are you good at pronouncing foreign words? My English is alright.

When listening to music, do you usually tap your foot etc to the beat? I tap my fingers more than my foot.

Have you ever literally cried on a friend's shoulder? Yeah but they were also my significant other then, so I dunno if that counts. I’m not super into physical touch so this isn’t something I’d do towards a friend, no matter how close we are.

Would you ever consider being a DJ at a party if you were paid? Nah, I would suck.

Do strapless bras work for you? No, my boobs are too small.

Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? No.

Do you feel comfortable enough to wear short shorts? Yeah, I just never really have the opportunity to wear them.

Have a favorite actor/actress from Old Hollywood? (Marilyn Munroe, etc) AUDREY HEPBURNNNNNNNNNN

What's your opinion on people who stretch their ears? They can do whatever they want lol. I’m personally not a fan of the look but that’s my own problem to deal with.

Do you think tattoos are expressive art or unattractive? Expressive.

What is your school mascot? None of the schools I attended have one.

Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? I have never seen a bear.

What's the book you're currently reading? Not reading anything at the moment.

Can you recall the most disturbing movie you've ever seen? Eraserhead. Requiem For A Dream is also stressful to watch, even on your 2nd or 45th rewatch.

Has anyone you know gotten mono? Possibly, but I can’t place names at the moment.

Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? No. Aside from the fact that I don’t eat fruits, apple trees aren’t native here so I’ve never actually seen one.

Can you say yes/no in different languages? Oo/hindi, ne/ani.

Out of the traditional superheroes, which one is your favorite? I don’t like superheroes.

Ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? Not in my pants but my bed, but fortunately it just happened once.

Had any surgeries? What kind? I have not.

Ever told your parents you hated them? I had it written down on my journal when I was going through those rebellious puberty years, but it was only directed towards my mom because that had also been the peak of her emotionally/mentally abusive days. It’s funny because she snooped through my stuff then and saw the entry and ended up crying...and I didn’t even feel bad about it because 1) I meant what I wrote, and 2) she literally went through my shit. I still don’t feel bad about it.

Do you let your pets on your furniture? Yes they can get on the couch and my bed.

How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? I don’t really have an opinion lmao. If they are chips then they are going in my mouth.

How strong do you like your coffee? I like milky/creamy coffee best tbh. When it comes to how strong they are I don’t have a preference.

Would you rather see someone of the opposite sex naked or nicely dressed? Idk.

Would you ever consider visiting Texas? I have relatives based in San Antonio and we’re pretty close to that side of the family, so yeah.

If you could make a movie, what would it be about? I’ve never been one for creative writing.

If you were kicked out of your current residence whom would you call? My grandma or one of my aunts.

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? Not at this point in my life.

Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Oooooohh I love both!

Was the last person you kissed attractive? Objectively yes, but I no longer feel the attraction I once held for her.

Are you racist at all? No.

Do you read creepypasta? If not, you should. No thanks.

Have you ever vandalized? Yeah some desks when I was in grade school.

Would you ever scuba dive in shark-infested waters if you had the chance? Most likely not. And by the way, they do not "infest" waters. That's their home. I hate that phrase so much. < This is a good point and I’d like to keep it here. Anywho, yeah I’m willing to do this but as far as I know they keep you in a cage when you go down in the water. I’d only do it if this was guaranteed lol.

Have you ever been drunk at work? Hungover, yes. Drunk while at work, hell no.

Have you ever hit a parked car with your car? No. My mom has done this with my parked car though -____- She had been backing up and I kept honking as she inched closer to my car, but she heeded me no mind until she finally hit me.

Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you like? We probably had but I don’t remember the details anymore.

Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, or cereal? Bagels.

Do you prefer light or dark haired? Dark.

Have you ever read any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books? Yes, I liked reading those in like grade school and high school.

Would you be prepared to do a job that you didn’t like, if it paid well? I haven’t been placed in that situation yet, so I’m not actually sure how I would handle it. Depends on how much the money is, I guess.

Do you think age is needed for maturity? No.

Do you believe the future is predetermined? I don’t think so.

What words are most comforting to you? Words of reassurance, like, “I’m just here,” “You don’t have to apologize.”

How important is money to you? It is generally pretty important to me and I’m usually good at saving...I’ve just hit a road bump the last few months because getting into K-Pop means wanting to get something out of every new merch drop hahahaha. I went alarmingly crazy from April to June, but I made a vow to calm down starting this July; and so far, aside from pre-ordering the new Memories of 2020 DVD and buying some merch from the pop-up store, I haven’t bought anything else.

Is there anything you want to last forever? Cold weather in the Philippines.

List three of your passions: Writing, food, and museums.

How old do you want to live to? Just because I’m competitive even until age, I want to make it to 100 lmao.

What kind of love do you value the most? Very comfortable platonic love. I highly value friendships where I can pretty much treat them like an SO hahaha.

If you could control one element, what would it be? I don’t care.

Do you prefer foxes or wolves? No preferences.

Could you ever deliver a baby? OMG no I would be terrible and would for sure bring more harm than good to the mother.

Do you think suits are sexy? Uh yeah.

Ever been called babe? Yeah.

How old is your youngest sibling? 18.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Angela.

Favorite boy’s name? I guess I have several preferences, but I dunno if I have favorite boy’s names. I like the sounds of Lucas, Jacob, Liam, and Mason.

Are your parents together, separated, divorced, never married, what? Married.

Do you go online every day? For sure.

What is the best quality in the last guy you kissed? I’ve never kissed a guy.

What do you usually do during a kiss? Depends on how passionate it is? < Yeah.

Do you have an older brother? Technically no, but I have a cousin that I pretty much see as one.

You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? I love Biebs, but I would probably sell them. Some extra money is always good hahaha.

What’s the genre of the current song you’re listening to? K-Pop, R&B.

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? Yeah, I already have two of them.

Would you ever sell your soul? Erm, I guess not.

#survey #surveys

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404fmdhaon · 3 years

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headcanon, aesthetic & playlist — underground friendships

summary: the love of music all spawned from the underground days where he was nothing more than a small child on the verge of thunderous rebellion. some souls fizzled out into mere nobodies while the few that clung on have been his stride and true, the biggest pieces of solace to the idol world he lives in. always a phone call away — he calls these people his pals. playlist summary: when he’s with his underground friends, no music is off limits. ranging from the girl groups to the random listens of whatever hip hop music is blasting through their music playlists — they share these pieces for bouts of inspiration or just for the laugh that comes from sitting in a room and listening to mindless music. sometimes it’s over a game of cards, and other times it’s just while he’s drunk over a glass of beer. either way, it spurs the deepening friendship that puts nothing off limits, nothing off bounds when they’re talking about anything ranging from music to their personal lives inside a rooftop apartment. warnings: mentions of smoking tw, mentions of drinking tw wc: 1009

playlist

1. forever young — femme fatale (blackpink) 2. 너무 너무 너무 — wish (very very very — ioi) 3. so good — fuse (red velvet) 4. cool hot sweet love — fuse (red velvet) 5. 사이렌 — 호미들 (siren — homies) 6. wifey — 카모 ft. 쌈디 (wifey — camo ft. simon dominic) 7. countin my guap — changmo 8. dress _ Face & Mask ft. ron — kid milli 9. yummy — justin bieber 10. freak — doja cat 11. triggered — jhene aiko

—

park siwoo

siwoo’s one of gyujeong’s best friends. has been since they first met inside a cypher group on the hongdae playground.

currently, siwoo’s a producer active in the underground hip hop scene, and he doesn’t create his music (not gray-esque, more like woogie or boycold)

they’re the same age, born in 1994 and siwoo’s always been the happy storm to counter gyujeong’s rough against the edges personality

siwoo’s personality is vastly different than his exterior. on the outside, he seems cold with his long hair always clouding his face and glasses askew — the earphones always detract the world from around him. yet, when he opens his mouth it all cracks and what’s left is a cesspool of cheap corny jokes (gyujeong likes to call him the second coming of kim heechul)

the reason why there’s so many pictures of them in the younger years is because siwoo always had a camera in hand to capture each memory. so many 흑역사s (bad memories? corny memories pictures?) all because of siwoo’s damn camera

musically wise, siwoo produces a lot of house and mellow beats. but also super versatile — there’s a reason why he’s the first to pass around ideas to, and why siwoo always gets hit with random bursts of gyujeong’s creativity

they’ve collaborated on a lot of songs (mostly unreleased), still there’s a certain synergy that happens when they’re together smoking away while listening to beats they’ve made half-dazed on sleep

in terms of personal talks / getting serious, siwoo knows the ins and outs of gyujeong’s life and the scandals that plague him — the fact gyujeong’s an idol hasn’t changed much about their friendship aside from the secrecy that they can’t go out to cafes as easily as they did when they were teens

true knight fans are aware, however, of siwoo’s existence and that’s probably how siwoo’s amassed a lot of followers with each comment being “thanks for being a good friend to haon!”

their arguments if any are superficial, and mainly subjected to the best girl group — gyujeong picks fuse, and siwoo picks lucid now infatuated with the idea of chroma

jung jiwon

jiwon’s a fast 1995, hence why they’ve dropped formalities of hyung/dongsaeng and relate themselves to donggap friends

jiwon’s also a producer but also releases his own stuff — very rare and sparse as producing he considers his real calling. he’s under the name of ‘sloom’ and has worked with some mid-tier companies to produce songs for the boy and girl groups (mainly he writes the raps)

at first glance, he’s scary? just because facial and neck tattoos aren’t that common in korea. and on the inside, he has even a tough exterior (허세) that gyujeong always calls him out on. it took them a near year? to become friendly, and they met each other through siwoo.

they rarely hang out in person? mainly over kakaotalk and messaging they keep in touch, send in beats to each other. but when they do see each other for the first time in a long time, it becomes a rekindled feeling where they’re not subjugated to any sort of “how’ve you been” but pick up where it’s last

at first, it became who can speak less when they were together but now, it’s who can shut up first considering they both go rampant about whatever game has caught their eye lately

jiwon agrees that fuse is superior to the girl group, and constantly badgers gyujeong to let him meet the leader. yet, gyujeong hesitates and laughs it off telling him to fuck off

jiwon’s music sounds a lot more of what sells on melon or award shows, yet he doesn’t have the big name value to let it chart — hence, why gyujeong wants to help when he can

jiwon lives in a half-basement, and that’s normally where they go to catch up as he’s one of the few that’s kept to that style of living as he sees it as homely rather than a bothersome to upgrade

cha sejoon

another 1994, and they’ve had the most complicated relationship out of the three

it’s the fact they’re similar, and similar personalities which led to a lot of clashes and misunderstandings over the years

the first fight obviously became over yeseul as sejoon really liked yeseul but then got slighted when gyujeong became mr. steal your girl — however, after a while, they got to talking and realized that pettyness aside, they do get along for the most part

sejoon is the most successful out of the underground friends, producing music as much as he puts it out. in the underground scene, he’s known as the heartthrob boyfriend of your dreams where fans like his looks more than the quality of music he puts out

gyujeong gives him the benefit of the doubt, music’s good for the most part — a bit on the idol-esque side, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

sejoon lives in a rooftop apartment and as much as that gets romanticized, sejoon’s constantly complaining about the bugs that come out and how he’s ready to move out (in reality, he’s too lazy)

sejoon also stops by gyujeong’s apartment a lot on off days to talk, catch up — ironically, this is the friend he talks least about music with despite their similarities

they’ve gotten into a lot of fights in the past years, each time causing a few months without talk before one of them steps up and hits the other person up to talk it out

there’s a lot of miscommunications and read between the lines since they’re not the best at relaying what they really think — a few mishaps where people thought he was dissing ‘haon’ when in reality it was a diss against another idol rapper

as much as it pains gyujeong to say, he doesn’t know what he’d do without sejoon knowing that the fights have only parsed them closer and it’s the tit for tat banter that keeps their dynamic moving smoothly

#머리속에 — 생각 #alcohol tw #smoking tw #뀨뀨 — queue

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fancydancing · 6 years

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Virtue Moir - The musical

Let’s take a little musical journey starting with Stay and ending with YRMW.

I don’t have an objective bone in my body when it comes to this topic, so I let other people do the talking. (I might have only picked comments that fit my narrative, but I’m only human, give me a break!)

**I put this together very quickly, so please forgive any mistakes**

**Also, it’s very long, but you have to read to the end to get the whole story**

Let’s begin...

Stay - Rihanna

Song meaning according to VM:

“It’s really about this couple who’s madly in love and long for each other, but they keep missing each other and can’t get their timing quite right to make it work in the end.”

And oh yeah, didn’t Scott say that this was their story? Hmmm...

According to anonymous experts on the internet:

I think it is about two people that are completely in love, but are dealing with their own personal battles. He is the one that is "broken" (maybe mental illness), but she was in a place in life that she needed to be saved from emotionally. He is the only one that she feels can help her fill this emptiness she has been living with. He says its not much of a life she's living, and that she never sees the light. Life isn't something you take, it is given. Live it, don't just let it pass you by. He wants her to get out and live and stop being depressed. She needs help being there for him, it is dragging her down, but she loves him and wants to help him get through it. Round and around and around they go... meaning they keep dealing with this same battle over and over and over again trying to help each other, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. All they know, is they need the other and can't get through it alone, but it's a huge struggle trying to keep helping the other and pulling each other up.

The two each came into the other's life for some helping reason. They came to realize that they were both in need of help and helping. An unanticipated affection grew for one another. They end up genuinely caring for each other and not just serving themselves. The concept is foreign to them; they are stripped "naked" of pretenses...beyond mental or physical desires...they care for someone outside theirselves. It is a new unadulterated and pure place, and they are trying to understand it.

Into the Mystic - Van Morrison

Most interpretations say it’s about the end of a long journey and beginning a new path into the unknown. All I know is ST choreographed it themselves in his (or hers?) kitchen.

Anonymous sources say:

“Into the Mystic.... Into the the unknown without fear with your soulmate at your side”

"At the very end Van sings: too late to stop now, suggesting that the song also describes an act of love."

Good Kisser - Usher

This song left me screaming, “TMI! TMI!” I want to know whose idea it was to skate to this song? And did VM understand what Usher was talking about? Because I really never paid too much attention to the lyrics although I’d heard the rumors.

And did they perform this IN FRONT OF THEIR PARENTS?? (no pun intended)

That’s all I have to say about this song.

How Will I Know - Originally by Whitney Houston

I thought this comment summed it up pretty nicely:

“She still is unsure of how he feels, she doesn't know. He hasn't made it clear. Gave her reassurance or made any plans. She's sick of waiting by the phone for nothing to happen. If he wants her in his life hell have to communicate the good ol fashion way. If not than he obviously doesn't. She wants to marry him but if that's never possible she would settle for SPECIAL friends or even just good friends. She just wants to be part of his life and world like she has made him part of. She's giving him another chance and if he doesn't take it soon she can't promise the opp will always be available. He hurt her. She still tried. She wishes he would be comfortable with her as she is with them. They got along great and it was so easy. That's what doesn't make sense to her. There's no need to have fear. She's made her case. Hopefully she'll know sooner than later.”

What's Love Got to Do With It - Originally by Tina Turner

“I think that this song is about a woman who doesn't want to fall in love again with an obviously attractive man due to a bad relationship experience in the past.”

***** “This man is obviously (sexually) very attractive (his touch makes her "pulse react") but for her own "protection" she says to him 'nope sir', a guy won't cause me a "broken heart" (again).” **** “In the refrain she just asks a general question about the value of love at all, she concludes that love in real life is not what it is suppopsed to be according to ones imagination and /or dreams. At first you fall in love with an attractive man but than your heart will be broken (he will cheat or misstreat you). But she also states that she isn't all happy about her beeing reluctant to love because she actually doesn't really want to spend her life alone. "But I have to say... It scares me to feel this way" because even though she has made bad experience in the past, she still has hope that she will find the right one finally. On the other hand it might be interpreted as a song about a woman who uses to have sex with the guys but doesn't wand to start deeper relationships with them because real love can turn out painful. (She likes to have a 'higher pulse rate' but doesn't want to have a 'broken heart'”

***

“As for the meaning of the song,i think it's simply about how the word love is just thrown around in a relationship,without any real thought,I saying you love someone,doesn't mean anything if you continue to hurt them,and the guy in the song is just using the word love to make up for all the hurt,which is just unacceptable to the woman.Now i'm a guy but I agree with this song because I feel that also if a girl hurts a guy and tries to make up for the hurt by using the word love,it's meaningless and unacceptable.”

Sorry - Justin Bieber

Co-writer Julia Michaels:

“I immediately thought back to the time that my boyfriend and I broke up. Three months later he came back to my door and was like, ‘I’m really sorry.’ Everyone can relate to fucking up and asking for mercy.

We were just trying to capture that moment in a relationship or a particular moment in your life where you realize you made a mistake and you’re finally ready to admit it and apologize.”

Latch - Sam Smith

I’ve already done a song analysis on this:

https://scottandtessasactinglessons.tumblr.com/post/172574202160/music-over-analysis-101-latch-so-im-going-to

Tessa said this:

The whole program wants to show fragility and strength, especially to find strength in fragility, and always have to pay and get in a relationship In the first part of the music, Scott lifts me up and supports me with the body. In second part their relationship becomes complicated, full of struggle, resentment and confusion. But in the end they are happy, free and in love. “We have more specific story line, but we wouldn’t tell about it” said Virtue with a smile. “Then we want to go on and see, how this relationship can unfold. We will work on it with our art director.”

From the internet experts:

“Latch's message is never let go love, of key-to-lock (or latch). The video shows couples who barely met becoming intimate. By just focusing on the instant and choosing couples who can't be that man-to-woman latch-to-key lifelong relationship, the video basically misses the point of the lyrics. The meaning of Disclosure Latch can be found in the keywords "shackle" "wrapped" "locked" or even Latch. The words evoke things that bind two together in an unbreakable union. All of these go tied with the most frequent word in the song: "Never." (21 times!) The love Latch sings about is a love never supposed to end, a lock that will never let go. This is the way love is meant to feel. And the feelings are meant to make us live a commitment of never let go.”

Come what May - Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman

This doesn’t really need much analysis. The meaning is pretty obvious. But here’s some expert analysis anyway:

“...but rather it is saying that not matter what other extraneous stuff is going on in their lives, they are saying it doesnt matter, hence "come what may" because they are still going to love each other no matter what else occurs...”

“The song plays an important role in the film. When the forbidden strong and close romantic relationship between Christian and Satine has been discovered, Christian pens this romance song and includes it in the musical he is currently writing. Each time either of them sings this song, they can secretly declare their equally deep and true romantic love for each other.”

Long Time Running - Tragically Hip

It appears that no one really knows how to interpret this song. I read interpretations ranging from it’s a song about divorce and depression to people who are planning to use it at their wedding.

Now I could go into what I think but it’s already been done beautifully by wishfulwannabee:

“Not only have they both said that they relate to this program and the song mirrors their relationship, but let’s take a look at both the program and the song. If you look at the lyrics, the song is actually quite heartbreaking and follows two people in love who can never seem to find a good way to get together. The lyrics changes from “it’s a grave mistake” to “it’s the same mistake” to “it’s a great mistake”, so obviously the song evolves with the relationship. “We don’t go anywhere, just on trips” hits me bc it’s like they test out the waters of the relationship but it never goes anywhere. It’s honestly a song filled with so many emotions and a messy relationship that wants to be somewhere but stumbles along the way to getting there. Now let’s just briefly talk about the program (which they choreographed themselves btw). For me, it seems that the “characters” are trying to chase after each other. There is never a moment where they both want each other. Whenever one is chasing, the other isn’t looking their way. It seems like there was never a good time for them to both want each other the same way at the same time. Until the end when they come together the way that they started. In unison. On the same page.”

http://wishfulwannabe.tumblr.com/post/172369040350/ok-but-we-dont-talk-about-tessa-and-scotts-long

Here are some other thoughts from the internet experts:

“Part of what makes The Tragically Hip so unique as artists is that their work appeals on many different levels simultaneously, much like the song “Long Time Running.” It’s a beautiful, gut-wrenching ballad even if you don’t listen to the lyrics. If you pay any passing attention to them, you add a hint of whimsicality to the proceedings. But if you dig deeper, and if you have a background that’s at all rooted in the same influences or spaces that permeate the band’s storytelling, then you’re granted a song that encompasses regret, longing, heartache, and a clever undercurrent of Canadiana and esoteric references.”

***

“I believe this speaks on history. Likely as with everyone there were dark times endured with having to live through a break in relationships in some points in his life. I feel like he had a core feeling long ago he had a path he was meant to follow. Part of path with his huge heart we could see was to help bring ppl together( through music ). In all respects the song is looking so strong to become one of Canada’s treasured love songs about perseverance of various aspects of life in sickness as well as love and or success. And a heartfelt turned gently into a eulogy as well that’s sang with such perfect emotion you can feel the pain exhaustion as well accomplished goal - happy with how you lived out your life.”

You Rock My World - Michael Jackson

The experts say:

“MJ is saying that this girl he loves has a profound positive affect in his life, and sexual satisfaction…and he is willing to give everything he owns to keep her.”

“Michael has finally found someone who makes him feel whole. This girl obviously feels like the missing link he has been waiting for.”

“He goes on to describe a truthful love because this girl is herself. He never wants her to change and he tells her that in these lyrics.”

“Michael never thought he would find a Love like hers that is so uncommon, and he feels lucky and honored to be able to have it.”

And finally, this from a website that was just some random guy ranting about GOD and SEX and SIN and SEX and SPIRITUALITY and SEX and the DEVIL and SEX with a little LUST thrown in for good measure.

“YOU ROCK MY WORLD is marinated in sexual juices from its very beginning. It was conceived in the steamy rock-pop culture of the late Michael Jackson.

So then, THE ORIGINAL AND REAL MEANING of YOU ROCK MY WORLD comes from Michael Jackson being rocked into a SEXUAL FRENZY. You flip me out! You rock my boat. You get it on! You send me over the top! You take me beyond all limitations! You break all barriers! You rock me into rapture! Give it to me! Come on girl!

“I am reminded of the words of Shakespeare:

“LUST IS THE EXPENSE OF THE SPIRIT IN A WASTE OF

SHAME. IT SQUANDERS THE ENERGIES OF LIFE.”

But this guy might be on to something because he closes with this:

“THAT MAN WHO IS ADDICTED TO SENSUALISM AND

FLESHLY APPETITES WILL HAVE LITTLE

APPETITE FOR THE SPIRITUAL WHICH

IS SEASONED BY VIRTUE.”

What a perfect way to wrap this little story up!

So to recap:

We’re totally in love, but we keep missing each other and/or we just can't make it work (Stay).

We’re ending this long journey (competitive skating) and we’re moving into the unknown (separate lives - Into the Mystic).

Ummm, detour! Usher singing about oral sex! PERFECT! The children in the audience won’t understand! (Good Kisser).

I love you, but I don’t know how you feel about me. (HWIK).

I love you, I want to be with you, but I’m afraid of getting hurt. (WLGTDWI).

I screwed up, I’m sorry, it’ll never happen again (Sorry).

Yes, we’re scared, but we love each other and we’re going to take a chance and commit to being together (Latch).

We’re declaring our true, deep romantic and secret love for each other. And no matter what happens, we’ll always be together (Come What May).

Now, we’re wrapping up our skating career and we’re finally on the same page and our current relationship was worth the wait (Long time running).

Now, everything is perfect, this is what we’ve been waiting for and yes, the sex is amazing (YRMW)!

Phew!

#virtuemoir #Scott and Tessa #music #analysis

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sophiehouldencrashcourse · 7 years

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Angles and Opinions

20/09/2017

What is an Angle? Why is it important to have an Angle?

* The lens through which a journalist filters a story

*The point or theme of a story

Why is an Angle important? An angle is important as it is much better to focus on one theme or perception than explore all, as it can get confusing for the writer as well as the reader. Adding to that if you have one angle it makes the piece more specific and the readers may be more likely to read it as they can automatically decipher what type of article it is an vaguely come to grips with what it is about and if they want to proceed to read it, it also makes it more appealing to the reader as it makes easier for them to find what they want to read and therefor don't have to read unnecessary information that holds no value to them.

News

*Sticks to facts

Opinion

* Journalists own perspective

* Backed up with evidence/ Justification

Assertion

* Opinion without evidence

News, opinion or assertion?

˜Sir David Norgrove said he was "disappointed" the foreign secretary had revived Vote Leave's pledge of £350m a week extra for the NHS“ BBC NEWS This is an example of News as it plain fact based on an event and includes a direct quote from the person who was commenting on the event.

˜A reasonable person might assume that Johnson meant that the country would have that amount of extra money to spend post-Brexit. What fine thing, Johnson wrote, if a lot of that money went to the NHS“ The Guardian This is an example of opinion as they comment their own opinion/ perspective on what a “reasonable person might assume” and then justify by ending their statement with evidence which is in the technique of a quote that is relevant to the topic.

And it's beginning to look a bit like he'd rather go to Christmas as his mother-in-laws than go to Russia.“ Katie Hopkins (Mail online) This is an example of Assertion as it is simply just an opinion of how she perceived Boris in her own eyes but fails to back up that opinion with facts or even a quote to support her claim.

Justin Bieber dies of overdose (my angle)

The angle that our group decided on was to generate sympathy and to be empathetic towards Justin and his family. We agreed on our main theme being that Justin felt pressured by the industry to be constantly realising music, to make it look like he needed to bring out music as fast as pressing play on your music app for it then to echo your desired song. It would then be followed up by the fact that Bieber couldn't handle the stress of it all and his music team failed to recognise which then lead him to spiral in to a dark path and him resulting in using drugs to give his life some calm in the fast paced life that he no choice but to oblige to. However we wouldn't give all the blame to his music team as we would transition in to the topic of the lack of involvement his father had in his life and explore if that could contribute to his latest naïve behaviour. Another topic we would indulge into would be if Justin Bieber had any past involvement with drugs and why he did it, if it had and consequences to him personally and his career. Penultimately, we would follow up with if who or if anybody knew about his drug problem and if they did know what they proposed to about it at the time or if they didn't do anything at all and simply left Justin to make his own life decisions. Finally the article would end with a statement from his immediate family describing how they are felling about the current news on the event. My group decided to pick this angle as we are aware that it is no lie that Justin Bieber gets a lot of hate online and in the press and this alternative angle could not only attract is fans but also those who were simply nosy on his case and even those who are questioning their personal opinions on Bieber. Adding to that it shines a different light on Justin which contrasts deeply to what is commonly wrote and perceived about him, as a result we are offering something that other publications may not express.

What I learnt from the masers of questions that rose from the Parsons Green Bombing

From this task I have learnt that sometimes you can develop 10 questions from just the first sentence of an article, without even looking at the rest of the piece. Then looking at the whole article; hundreds of questions could be made.

The fact that so many questions rose from this article tells me that not all the information on this case has been found and that there is still things yet to discover about this particular case. To follow, some of the statements were vague, such as the injuries, which could suggest that the consequences that came from the attack may not all been accounted for and people who have been effected may have not come to grips with how severe their injuries were and therefore not reported on them. Then, the questions that rose within regarding to what happens to the station after the attack and how it will be effected may have not been answered in that current article as it is an ongoing investigation and answers will be added gradually to when the station recovers.

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calvarineharrod · 7 years

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#30DayWritingChallenge

I recently did the 30 day writing challenge. It made me think, ponder and dig deep into the different facets of my emotional and spiritual self. Sometimes you don’t really know yourself until you answer these questions. This my quest for soul search and I finally answered the questions that I was life-long scared to address.

Writing challenge:

Day 1: Things that make me happy: Braai Beautiful shoes Coke Zero My niece laughing Steers burger and chips Garden salad Deep conversations Troy, my dog Makeup trials The beach Drakensburg Mountains meditation Elevation church Podcasts Beautifully scented rooms

Day 2: Something that someone told me which I’ll never forget: I’m cheeky I have a beautiful soul. I have a big f*****g mouth and think I know too much.

Day 3: Pet peeves: Dirty feet Piled dishes in the sink Arrogant people Impatient drivers

Day 4: People who inspire me: Oprah - live your truth, be present in the moment, strive for excellence. Steven furtick: God can’t bless who you pretend to be. Be yourself. Lisa Bevere - God has uniquely made you and that is your greatest strength. Joyce Meyer - obedience is key to worshiping God. Forgive quickly.

Day 5: Places I want to visit: Cape Town Thailand Sydney India Zanzibar Bali

Day 6: Ways to win my heart: Kind-hearted Loves God Funny Courteous Ambitious

Day 7: Songs I love at the moment: Mercy shawn Mendes 24k Magic Kiss it better Rihanna Bad things camilla cabello Usher Crash Justin Bieber - cold water Ed sheeran - shape of you Closer - chain smokers This girl - Kungs vs cooking on three burners John legend - love me now

Day 8: Something I struggle with: Self-confidence, being single and procrastination.

Day 9: Words of wisdom that speak to me: Be the best version of yourself. Stay true to you and trust your instinct. You are uniquely loved and nothing can replace you. Don’t consume yourself with what others like or think. Don’t set deadlines for yourself. Be spontaneous. Your goals must be uniquely designed for you. What people think of you is none of your business. Be rational in stressful situations. Live life to the fullest and don’t wait for tomorrow to do something. Don’t attend every argument you’re invited to. Dornt allow every voice to have access to you. You are not a garbage truck. Don’t allow people to throw their toxic habits and gossip onto you. Be stingy with your time. Don’t procrastinate . Stay calm.

Day 10: What do I feel strongly about:

Women abuse - a man who has been put on a pedestal and not educated on how to treat a woman will spend his entire life mistreating one. Also when women don’t know their worth, men use reverse psychology to make women believe that no one will love them. So these girls stay in abusive relationships.

Modesty: boyfriends must not be given husband benefits. He must earn it. Likewise, girls clothe yourselves with dignity and respect. Don’t show off everything to gain attention. Be mindful of your behaviour. Don’t compromise and give men the bait to mistreat you. Give them something to respect. Being vulgar is not classy at all.

Christianity - I am entitled to my views about my relationship with God. I will not force it on anyone or dethrone it. I will defend it and not tolerate someone slandering the God that I worship.

Abortion - I believe in life after death and life before birth. Women behave loosely and then can’t deal with the consequences of being pregnant. Wait to get married before you want to have kids. Don’t go on a killing spree and abort your kids. Give them a chance at life.

Racism - how to test yourself to see if you’re racist? Ask yourself, will I accept my child marrying a person of another race. Will I feel comfortable with it. Will I be completely happy if my child had to marry a black, brown or even white person.

Day 11: Something your always think “what if” about: What if I don’t get married and never experience that feeling of loving someone and being loved.

Day 12: Blessings in my life: Family to love Job to work Church to freely worship. Shelter, Food, water and electricity Healthy body and mind

Day 13: What am I excited about? Honestly, nothing. I am looking forward to seeing what God is going to do through me. I know that he has great plans and nothing is impossible with God

Day 14: Favourite movies I’ll never get tired of watching: Blue streak White chicks The Notebook War Room The Breakup The devil wears Prada Dreamgirls Rush Hour Slum dog millionaire Why did I get married Mean girls Pitch perfect Notting Hill Love actually

Day 15: Bullet point your entire day: Woke up Brushed and bathed Attended work Came home Watched tv Ate Watched YouTube videos Read a few bible verses Went to bed

Day 17: Post your zodiac sign and whether it suits you. Pisces Don’t believe in it, don’t read it, don’t care.

Day 18: Discuss 30 facts about yourself: GO! Born in Chatsworth Youngest Granddaughter on both sides Received English award twice Love Indian food Jumped off Moses mabhida stadium Never travelled overseas Watched RHCP live Doesn’t eat mussels, crab or fish. Born again Christian Loves home decor and interior design Hates cats. Loves peaches and litchis Secretly fancy guys with nose rings. Want a tattoo but too scared to get one Have 6 piercings (for now) Hates clutch control. Doesn’t read fiction books at all. Got saved at 15. Baptised at 18 Loves any clothing in black Hates liquorice Doesn’t like bacon. Thinks Mohawks and Man-buns are stupid I’m Indian yet have never worn a sari. Had chronic acne and have to take meds for it. I have a strong instinct and good at figuring people out. All time Fave perfume is juicy couture All time Fave tv show is friends All time Fave singer is Mariah Carey. All time Fave hobby is reading Favourite season is Autumn Naturally I have very curly/frizzy hair. Day 19: Discuss your first love. I’ve never had one. Crushes, yes. Both never loved anyone to the point that it consumed my thoughts.

Day 20: Celebrity crushes: Hugh Jackman Ryan Gosling Morris Chestnut Dwayne Johnson David Beckham J. Cole Chris Hemsworth

Day 21: Lessons you want your children to learn from you: Love God Have compassion and unconditional love for yourself and people Be true to yourself and trust your gut feeling Be strong in who you are and defend yourself. Be loyal. Do things that your want to do, don’t compromise . Have good taste in music Be calm, meditate, don’t be stressed and overwhelmed. Know when to walk away. Don’t let people’s opinions define you. Make yourself happy, don’t live to make others happy.

Day 22: Put your music on shuffle and post 10 songs: Hillsong - From the inside out Emeli Sande - Clown Jagged Edge - I Gotta Be Israel Houghton & New Breed - More and More Kool & The Gang - Get down on it Kanye West - Father Stretch my hands (part 1) Hillsong - Heartbeats Ed Sheeran - Afire Love Anomaly - Lecrae Bruno Mars - When I was your man

Day 23: Write a letter to someone: A letter to my future husband:

I always wondered what you’d be like, your face, your eyes, your personality. To be totally honest, Over time, my type of the ideal guy has changed and I know for sure that the man I wanted at 15 is totally different from the man I want now, at 25. People ask me all the time, when am I gonna get married or find someone special? My response is always delayed and very nonchalant: I don’t know. Just so you know, I’m a wifey kinda girl. I love easily and love hard. I know that you are somewhere and I totally believe in Gods timing. By the way, I pray to God for you, about you and hope He leads you to me. I don’t know when, how and where, but I’m blindly writing this letter with the intention of finding you someday, my love. I’m loyal, trustworthy and find it irresistible when a guy is a gentleman. Just so you know, Chivalry is better than having a 6pack and your love for Jesus must be greater than your love for me.

In ending, I pray that our paths cross and that our love will be eternal. Sincerely, you no.1 lady.

Day 24: Write about a lesson you learnt the hard way: I appreciate peace especially since We grew up in an abusive household, not having much and rented out a little house., my dad has a drinking problem and parents used to fight, it was a tumultuous time. We had nothing worth much so I now know value things that I never had. I know what it’s like to work hard and own my stuff so I don’t depend on a guy or people to provide for me and hear hurtful words. I know not to have expectations in people because they will always disappoint, I’ve learnt that people will speak so fast behind your back and pretend to be loyal, I’ve learnt that work some colleagues will remain as that, work colleagues. You cannot try to change some one who doesn’t see a problem with their actions. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to outgrow friendships and relationships. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to walk away from conversations that make you feel awkward, pushes you to mean and degraded . To keep quiet and not retaliate towards every argument. Clowns will be clowns. I’ve learnt that girls are treated so much more differently than boys so we have to be fierce in our approach and not settle for being trophies, I’ve learnt to have compassion and tip extra. I’ve learnt that people treat you different and disrespect you when you are single. I’ve learnt that people are going through a lot and that’s usually the reason for their bad attitude and response towards life . I’ve learnt that God can only work with the amount of space your give him. I’ve learnt the meaning of surrender. I’ve learnt that God does speak, we just need to listen. I’ve learnt that you don’t have to please everyone and that’s ok. I’ve learnt that you must value and appreciate the people who love you for you.

Day 25: Think of a random word, search it on google and write something inspired by the 11th image: Repertoire. A quintet of musicians are playing brass instruments. I am a huge fan of jazz music so this random word perfectly describes the genre of music. This word also reminds me of Kendrick Lamar’s verse of No more parties in LA.

Day 26: An area in your life that you’d like to improve: Discipline. I wish That I could be more harder on myself to achieve more. I tend to be complacent because I’m very committed to my job, I have lots of responsibilities at home and can’t afford to live out certain dreams of what I want to do. I wish I didn’t procrastinate so much. I wish that I can be more disciplined in studying and not waiting for pressure to force me to learn. I wish that I was more disciplined with my eating habits. I wish I had more courage to enjoy life and take risks instead of caring what people think.

Day 27: Conversely, write about something that you’re doing well at: I think my mindset of thinking positively is great. I love the fact that I remain calm is very stressful situations. I tend not to get I overwhelmed and think rationally. I’m very hopeful and depend on miracles.

Day 28: Things that make you laugh: Memes posted by 9gag and Daquan. Kevin hart, Wanda Sykes Blame it on Kway DC young fly Alan Carr Angela and Marcus from “why did I get married” Charlemagne tha God Michael Blackson

Day 29: Goals for the next 30 days: Eat better Pray more often Get over my sympathy parties Read my bible more Relax a little Work harder and meet deadlines Drink more green tea Laugh more Treat myself better Stop trying to make others feel better at the expense of my sanity. Stop trying to not offend people and stifle my feelings. Realise my value Stop lowering my standards of doing things Watch less tv Write more Drive more Live in the moment, appreciate every moment Stay true to myself and be comfortable in my own skin Don’t feel uncomfortable to say no. Stand firm and defend myself. Be honest when asked my opinion. Less social media Mind my own business and help when asked Don’t meddle. Block negativity Don’t gossip about anyone Be cleaner and tidier Be more assertive in my approach Get disciplined enough to study Be consistent in writing a blog

Day 30: Highs and lows for the month: Highs- my birthday, opportunity to be more creative at work. Living a less stressed life. Being firm and happily single. Lows: stress at work, occasional low moments, which I am working on. Sudden bouts of sadness, fighting and arguing at home amongst family members. Loneliness is dangerous and make you do stupid, irresponsible things.

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saynomoretears-blog · 7 years

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Where is all the high-quality music?

Personally I don’t follow music charts as I don´t think these “top” charts represent the top quality music so I prefer to find music I like instead listening to music I´m of being fed by on my every step. Plus, it seems the quality of current popular music has been declining a year by year.

Recently I came across „The UK's Top 40 Official Biggest Songs of 2016 are...“ chart (Myers 2016), looked at the songs listed and found out the majority of the songs is about sex, alcohol, parties or just miles away from something a little bit meaningful. Here´s the first 10 songs from the chart and a brief description of what the songs are about:

One dance by DRAKE FT WIZKID & KYLA – Sex

7 years by Lucas Graham – Growing up (exception no. 1)

Cheap thrills by Sia – Partying

I took a pill in Ibiza by Mike Posner – Drugs, partying (the title pretty much speaks for itself)

This is what you came for by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna – A song about a girl who is looking at you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh..

Lush life by Zara Larsson – Partying (the songwriter should use autocorrect, English is not my mother language but even I can tell “doin´ it all nite“ or “I´mma dance“ is not grammatically correct)

Closer by Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – Alcohol, sex

Love yourself by Justin Bieber – Partying (autocorrect again please...)

Work by Rihanna ft. Drake – Work, work, work, work, work, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, tired, tired, tired, tired...

Can´t stop the feeling by Justin Timberlake – Dance (exception no. 2)

Rihanna vs. Michael Jackson

Rihanna´s and Calvin Harris´s song „Work“ which is listed as no. 9 in the chart above was written by 6 songwriters - PartyNextDoor, Drake, Monte Moir, Rupert "Sevn" Thomas, Allen Ritter and Matthew Samuels (Wikipedia 2017). Lyrics absolutely lack any meaning. This year the song was nominated for Record of the Year at the Grammy Awards (Billboard 2017).

Michael Jackson´s song Man In The Mirror from 1988 was written by Glean Ballard and Siedah Garrett (Wikipedia 2017). For years after its release, the song appeared in the top positions of the charts. Its lyrics are beyond just an average “good” pop song. It’s about self-reflection; a beloved child star growing up into a strong sense of social involvement and worldly compassion. It was also nominated for Record of the Year at the Grammy Awards (Tabora 2015).

Now, these two songs were both nominated for the Grammy Award but do they share the same qualities? At The Grammy Awards in 2013 host LL Cool J read out a collective statement from record label bosses saying: “In the past, singers and instrument-players have followed their own wayward agenda, with values that could be described as ‘artistic’. However, we now realise that ‘artistic’ values often do not serve the core brand values of fizzy pop makers.“ and “If you want art, there’s still books and pictures (End of music announced at Grammys, 2013).

I hope and believe the last statement is not the case and there will be plenty of good music made in the future. I can always think of Nirvana and their timeless song Smells like teen spirit. Even though they were a rock – grunge band at the start of 1992 this song entered the top of the charts and this event often marks the point where alternative rock entered the mainstream (Wikipedia 2017). It is and probably always will be considered one of the greatest songs in the history of rock music.

Even though they are not active anymore their music is still widely listened to not only by their then-fans buying their albums and going to their gigs around 1990 but also by people and especially young people nowadays. This proves it´s about their music and legacy. So there definitely is a place for good music, regardless of what the genre and I am sure these artists are out there, it´s just difficult for them to make themselves widely heard and noticed as the current music is based on creating celebrities and they are not willing to prioritize fame by becoming a marketing face over making good music (Nash 2014). And nowadays not many people care about the music itself and especially not the major labels which pretty much occupy all radio stations (Ingham 2016). These celebrities often do not deserve appreciation for their music (in most cases, it´s not even their work) but for spending long hours in the make-up room to look like a superstar, appearing in adverts and sharing stories about their personal lives on social networks such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. Welcome to the 21st century and its still expanding huge technology/media boom. But since when is the image and the way they interact with fans more important than the music itself?

Looking at music charts in the 80´s we would find there artists like Bryan Adams, Bon Jovi, Guns N Roses, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, U2, David Bowie, Aerosmith, Queen (Absolute Radio 2014) etc. In the 90´s we had Nirvana on the first place, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Metallica, R.E.M., Sinéad O'Connor, Pearl Jam etc. (Absolute radio 2014)

So the popular/mainstream music itself is not a low-quality. The Beatles or Michael Jackson were once considered a pop artists as well, now we would say their music is classic. But are we going to call the “music” produced performed by Ariana Grande, Nicky Minaj or Rihanna and such call classic as well in 50 years? Is that what our children are going to take on from us?

By this article I only expressed how I feel about the current quality of current popular music and did not mean to offend anyone who enjoys some of the songs I mentioned in the article. I also feel the need to say there are exceptions such as Adele, Ed Sheeran, Lorde or John Legend and a few others who have a great talent. I just wish there were more of talented and original artists who stand out among the rest successfully breaking through and perhaps even getting into the charts with their music as this is the music that surrounds us everywhere.

Sources:

Myers, J. (2016) The Official Top 40 Biggest Songs Of 2016. Available at: http://www.officialcharts.com/chart-news/the-official-top-40-biggest-songs-of-2016__17517/ (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Wikipedia (2017) Work (Rihanna song). Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_(Rihanna_song) (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Billboard (2017) Grammy Awards 2017: See the Full Winners List. Available at: http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/grammys/7686168/grammy-awards-2017-winners-list (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Wikipedia (2017) Man in the Mirror. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_in_the_Mirror (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Tabora, L. (2015) This generation is witnessing a decline in "good" pop music. Available at: http://wjpsnews.com/?p=3830 (Accessed: 11 October 2017). End of music announced at Grammys (2013) Available at: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/end-of-music-announced-at-grammys-2013021259333 (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Wikipedia (2017) Smells Like Teen Spirit. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smells_Like_Teen_Spirit (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Nash A. (2014) Has a rise in technology seen a decline in talent? Available at: https://www.virgin.com/music/has-a-rise-in-technology-seen-a-decline-in-talent (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Ingham, T. (2016) Why do major record labels dominate UK radio quite so much? . Available at: https://www.musicbusinessworldwide.com/why-do-major-record-labels-dominate-uk-radio-so-much/ (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Absolute Radio (2014) The Greatest Song of The 80s. Available at: https://absoluteradio.co.uk/feature/charts/greatest-song-of-the-80s/index.html (Accessed: 11 October 2017). Absolute Radio (2014) The Greatest Song of The 90s. Available at: https://absoluteradio.co.uk/feature/charts/greatest-song-of-the-90s/index.html (Accessed: 11 October 2017).

#music #charts #kurt cobain #adele #ed sheeran #lorde #john legend #michael jackson #the beatles #nirvanna #smells like teen spirit

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martechadvisor-blog · 7 years

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Strategies for Brands to Find the Best Influencers: In Conversation with Gil Eyal

Ahead of the upcoming Influencer Marketing Days Event, we sat down with Gil Eyal, CEO at HYPR for an exclusive on his session at the event. He gives insights on how brands should focus on utilizing local or micro influencers, add a human element to videos and use technology optimally. Also, he cautions brands against letting influencers take over process and owning the brand’s authenticity. His advice to brands is to “build long relationships with influencers to get great work out of them “. Gil was selected as one of ten Israelis influencing the New York tech scene and recognized as the Top Boss in Tech in 2017 by Digiday

Ginger Conlon:

Hello and welcome to MarTech Advisor’s Executive Interview Series. I'm Ginger Conlon, a Contributing Editor to MarTech Advisor and joining us today is Gil Eyal, who is CEO of HYPR Brands. Welcome Gil!

Gil Eyal:

Hi Ginger, thanks for having me.

Q- Ginger Conlon:

Glad you're here today. We're gonna talk about your session and related topics at the upcoming Influencer Marketing Days 2017. We're gonna get a sneak peek at your session which is activating influencers and mistakes we should not be making and talk a little bit about influencer trends in general. So I'm excited about that but let's first start with a little bit about you. Tell us about your background and about HYPR Brands?

A- Gil Eyal:

Sure. So, I've always been a marketer at heart. I have an MBA Marketing from Kellogg. I worked at a company called Playdom to develop games on MySpace and Facebook back in the day. I was a growth hacker or a viral PM and my job was to really identify audiences and make sure that every dollar we spent reach the right audience. When I left that company, I started working for a company called Mobli, which was an early version of Instagram. Very similar to Instagram but much earlier and the strategy that I had around getting an audience for this product was to work with celebrities and influencers. This was long before anybody knew of the term Influencer Marketing and we ended up partnering with Leonardo Dicaprio, Tobey Maguire, Lance Armstrong, Serena Williams, Lil Wayne, about 200 different celebrities and big-name social media stars.

The idea was that we could use them to drive users to our app and sometimes it worked really well and other times it didn't work as well. That's what led me to eventually start HYPR because I understood that Influencer Marketing really isn't that different than traditional marketing channels. If you don't know who your audience is or if you don't know how to reach your audience, not going to be successful. So, I wanted to build a tool that allows you to understand who influences what today. You would never buy an advertising spot in a magazine without knowing who reads it, why would you work with an influencer or without knowing who their audiences.

Q- Ginger Conlon:

Right, makes so much sense. Let's jump into talking about Influencer Marketing. It's interesting that you said that before you start HYPR, it wasn't really a common term and it's interesting because of course Influencer Marketing has been around for so long, it's long established but we didn't really talk about it that way and because it's evolved so much especially since the advent of digital and social, I think that along with the terminology that what is Influencer Marketing has evolved as well. So how are you seeing it defined today most commonly?

A- Gil Eyal:

Completely. So I agree 100%. It's been around forever and if you think about it, it's been around, nobody called it Influencer Marketing but almost every decision and it's human nature to look for people that you respect to help you make a decision about, when you choose which movie to see on Friday night, when you choose what food to eat, when you choose which doctor to see, when you choose which car to buy, there's someone in your life that's influential in those decisions because you respect their opinion about that subject or because you're close to them, you can confide in them. So that element of human nature is something that's translated now with the advent of social networks, something measurable. We can find influencers who aren't the typical celebrities or the big-name hundred million followers celebrities or influencers, say they're also influencers-- micro influencers in common whatever you want but they are influential people that have an audience that respects their opinion about a specific subject. In my mind saying everyone's an influencer is obvious but not everyone's a professional influencer or somebody that you could use. Anybody that's really dominant and really has an opinion that can move an audience in a specific area is an influencer.

Ginger Conlon:

Right. Yeah, that makes so much sense to me just because they have whatever a million followers, if those million followers are just interested in seeing their photos and aren't interested in seeing, hearing what their opinion about something, that's not necessarily going to be influential for brands.

Gil Eyal:

I agree 100 percent. One of the things we see all the time are brands that target a female audience, maybe a beauty brand or a makeup or fashion gram going after these Instagram models or fitness models who are bikini models and they're using that old model where you would put a woman in the magazine and that would sell bikinis or that would sell makeup. They're neglecting to understand that the people following these influencers are men hoping to see women in bikinis. They're not women who are going to buy that brand and the result is that they're getting poor results for their campaigns and they're saying Influencer Marketing doesn't work but really, they're just not doing it the right way

Q- Ginger Conlon:

Right. Yeah like you said you have to understand who your audience is. Thinking about that, what are some of the common ways that you're seeing marketers using influencers today and how do you see Influencer Marketing evolving?

A- Gil Eyal:

So, I think maybe the main shift that we're seeing is that brands are understanding that there's a value to long-term relationships and that smaller influencers have stronger audiences. So with the first one, we're seeing brands like L'Oreal start the Loreal League. A lot of other brands building long-term relationships with influencers. It's no longer just, “here's a thousand dollars go post about my brand on your Instagram” and everybody would be happy but here's a long-term relationship every time there's new content “please post it and be a champion for my brand”. It's a much more authentic and believable experience for the audience and the second maybe more important part is that they're targeting specific individuals. So not every brand is now trying to land a Kardashian or trying to land a Justin Bieber.

They’re understanding that there's expertise in their topic area that people want will benefit from and that person that has a cooking channel has an audience that's only interested in cooking. So they might have a much smaller audience but that audience is very dedicated and very close to that influencer and if you have a product that's related to cooking, that's a much better place to put it on from a cost perspective and from an ROI perspective because you'll convert much better and it'll be much more authentic and believable

Then finally what we're seeing is that brands are really shifting the power if it used to be that brands were willing to pay in advance and just pay for results, brands are starting to ask for analytics. I'm starting to suspect that there might be manipulation or fraud and they're being much more careful about identifying those things in advance and I think that's going to be a really good shift over the next year or two, where we're going to see technology develop to help brands identify the real influencers from the fake ones.

Ginger Conlon:

Right. Yeah that's important. Every marketing dollar that you invest you want to make sure that you're getting as much back from that as you can.

Gil Eyal:

Absolutely.

Q- Ginger Conlon:

So, when marketers select an influencer do you see any common criteria that they're using and is there anything that you see marketers overlooking that they maybe should consider, like you were saying before about make sure you know the audience?

A- Gil Eyal:

Absolutely. One of the metrics in this industry that's mind-boggling in my mind is how many followers an influencer has and that's a metric that means really nothing except that in one certain point in time a lot of people are interested in that influencer. If you think about somebody like Rebecca Black who came out with a song Friday a few years ago, I think she has six million subscribers to her YouTube channel but they're all inactive and they no longer really follow or care what she has to talk about. So, if you look at that metric and you don't know who she is, you might say wow this is a huge influencer, I could really benefit from working with them but the result is that you won't get a lot of engagement, a lot of audience.

The same thing applies to big name celebrities. I follow celebrities like Lil Wayne and Pitbull, does that mean I will actually do what they say? Of course not. I just follow them because everyone follows them, because they are recommended when you sign up for the app and I listen to their song as if they pop up on the radio. So, I think the biggest mistake is being blinded by these that identity metrics and say “oh wow a lot of followers”, or even a lot of engagement but irrelevant engagement won't really produce results for you. I's the number one common mistake and people really worry about fraud and about what if influencers have fake followers but really what's the difference between fake followers and inactive followers. What you should worry about is how many real engaged followers do they have that will care about my product. Fake, inactive it's all the same. They're not going to buy your product. So, make sure you verify that you're not hiring somebody that has a lot of those.

Q- Ginger Conlon:

Yeah. So, you mentioned one mistake which is looking at the wrong metrics and at your session which is basically the mistakes that you shouldn't be making, give us this like a sneak peek into another mistake that you should avoid when activating influencers?

A- Gil Eyal:

Sure, this is one I hear all the time which is brands need to relinquish control. You need to give influencers know their audience, they know how to get their audience engaged. If you want to work with influencers you have to relinquish control and let them make decisions and I think that's terrible advice and we have a lot of examples where relinquishing control has gone brands in trouble. I think most recently we saw Disney get in trouble with Jake Paul and insulting his neighbors and the truth is nobody knows your audience better than you do and nobody has done as much ad testing and nobody's evaluated which messaging works and nobody's understood what actually gets your audience to spend money or to buy your product or to be interested in your product as much as your own team. That's what you do professionally.

Influencers are great at generating attention about around themselves. A lot of times through actions that are not really good to be associated with, could be behaving crazy, it could be doing things that are gray area morally, it could be doing things that are really silly and funny but you don't want to be associated with this brand. So my argument is you always have to control message and it doesn't matter which influencer you are working with, you need to own the message, you need to control it and you need to make it work within the influencers capabilities and within their talents and was something that would appeal to their audience, that would feel authentic but it still has to be your message. It has to be that message that you spend so much money testing and understanding that works.

Ginger Conlon:

This seems like that goes back to what you were saying before about the trend of having more longer-term relationships because you can find authenticity between your brand message and the influencers that are that good fit.

Gil Eyal:

Absolutely. I think the long-term relationship also changes the incentives within the relationship with the influencer. If an influencer from knows that they have a future with you, they're gonna be a lot more careful with your brand. If they know this is a one-time thing and they move on and they get paid, then they'll do what they need to do and it's human nature. Some of them will do a great job, somewhat if they're looking for a long term relationship. If this is a job, if this is something that generates revenue and credibility for them in a long term, they're going to be very serious about it, they're going to care about making you happy a lot more.

So, building those long-term relationships allows you to-- for one build a strong rapport and two if you take a group of influencers and see which ones are performing better and strengthen that relationship and for the ones that aren't performing as well, reduce the relationship and that's something that's just a lot of brands don't seem to do. They kind of want to do that one hit, have an influencer post about them, enjoy the two days of conversation that generates on social media but they don't really think about what's driving the right incentives.

Q- Ginger Conlon:

Yeah that makes sense. So you talked before about some of the ways that marketers are using influencers. Give us an example of maybe the most creative way you've seen marketers using influencers.

A- Gil Eyal:

My favorite recently and I smile every time I think about it is Starbucks. It’s the unicorn Frappuccino. I'm sure everybody has heard about this. Basically what they did is, they had their own people, the Baristas started tweeting out and going on Instagram, on Facebook saying, “Nobody buy this product, I'm covered in glitter, I can't do this anymore, I can't make a single one of these” and it happens to be like this pinkish glowy weird colored product that you wouldn't want one in your body if your health conscious at all but the attention that got was genuine and amazing and what do you think when you hear a barista saying don't ask for this. One is you have to share it because you have to your friends have to see how Starbucks employees telling you not to buy a product and two is you have to walk into one and order one because you want to see what's so bad about making them. I thought it was a brilliant campaign. The kind that didn't touch any of the big-name influencers, that didn’t cost a ton of money, use these smaller niche influencers that have a real relationship with the brand, seemed completely authentic and you just produced amazing results over on every news source possible because it was a great story.

Ginger Conlon:

Yeah that's a terrific story and Gil thank you so much. Thanks for all the great advice and for giving us that sneak peek into your session at Influencer Marketing Days 2017.

Gil Eyal:

Thanks for having me. I can't wait to meet everyone on the premises.

Ginger Conlon:

Yeah definitely. I want to let everyone know be sure to check out Influencer Marketing Days website for more information on the conference and at Gil’s session and also be sure to visit MarTech Advisor’s YouTube channel for other Executive Interviews and thanks everyone for being here.

This article was first appeared on MarTech Advisor

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