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sugarmaplewings-fics · 3 years

Text

I'm Yours

Pairing: Kirishima x reader

Warnings: There's kissing. A lot of kissing. Just some teenagers being dumb really. No canon characters were harmed in the making of this fic. I didn't include a cheating aspect since I don't write for that kind of stuff, but there's still some jealous!Kirishima here >:3

Author's Note:

Uhhhh I kinda forgot to make this fluffy . . . .

Thanks to uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwi from Wattpad for requesting! (that's a really fun username hehe)

Enjoy!

-Sugar

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Swamped.

That was the only way he could describe it. Kirishima didn’t think he’d ever been so busy, and he wasn’t the only one.

Finals had the entirety of the hero course stressed, especially the second-years like himself. Between training, doing homework, and going to class, there wasn’t exactly room for being social. Any time he was able to hang out with his friends, they were studying together. Nothing he'd really describe as 'fun'. And that’s what had him feeling the worst about all this.

He’d started dating you a few weeks ago—going on three months now, actually. Things had been going well between the two of you. You liked him and he really liked you, so to him, there hadn't been any type of problem.

Even so, there was something a little unique about your relationship: no one knew about it. You yourself were never one for letting others get too involved in your business. And besides, you also knew the nature of most high school relationships. Maybe you’d announce yourselves as a couple and make a big fuss only to grow tired of the other and end it all within the first month. But clearly, that hadn’t happened.

There was a strange thrill to keeping your relationship a secret; a novelty your boyfriend hadn't expected. Though he wasn’t much for dishonesty, Kirishima practically lived for the stolen glances across the classroom you’d share, and the way he’d sneak you behind the school for impromptu makeout sessions with no one ever the wiser. You were his little secret, and he was yours.

Until it had all come to a grinding halt with the extra schoolwork.

He still tried to make time to spend with you in one of your dorm rooms, but the both of you finally had to admit to yourselves that neither of you could get any work or studying done when you were alone together. And so it was back to study groups; holding hands under the table as either Bakugou or Yaoyorozu went over the newest batch of hero laws that needed to be memorized.

God, how he wished this could all be over. Kirishima just wanted things to be normal again. When was the last time he’d even seen you? He could remember watching the back of your head duck out of the classroom at the end of the day, but after? . . . Nothing.

He frowned at the physics worksheet laid before him, mind wandering to thoughts of you as one of his sharp teeth sunk into the eraser at the end of his pencil. Kirishima supposed he should go check on you later, once he’d finished up his assignments for the evening.

…

“Did you see (L/N) yesterday?”

Kirishima’s ears unconsciously perked up at the sound of your name. He stood with his tray in the lunch line directly behind some of his female classmates. They were chatting amongst themselves as they slowly stepped forward. Kirishima wasn’t generally one to listen in on conversations he wasn’t a part of, but now they’d captured his interest. Had one of them seen him sneaking into your room?

“No, I didn’t,” Uraraka said in response to Ashido. “Is she alright?”

“Of course she is,” the pink-haired girl said, rolling her abnormal black and amber eyes as she reached for a clementine. “Actually, she may be doing more than alright.”

Kirishima swallowed. Uh-oh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jirou asked, sounding largely uninterested in gossiping about her fellow classmate.

“Well,” Ashido began, bouncing a little on her toes, “I saw her on the tech floor yesterday and you won’t believe who she was talking to.”

“Who?” Jirou asked dryly, probably hoping to get the discussion over with as quickly as possible.

“Kobayashi Tatsuo. The third year,” Mina announced proudly.

The redhead behind them quietly sighed. Thank goodness. They still didn't know.

“And?” Uraraka questioned.

“They were totally flirting!” Ashido said. “(L/N)’s bagged a cute upperclassman boy! They’ll be dating soon, I just know it! If they aren’t already.” She smugly leveled her shoulders, grinning with an odd look of satisfaction.

What?

“I guess that’s good for her,” Jirou commented, picking up her tray from the lunch bar in order to follow her friends to a table.

“I know, right?” Mina said excitedly as they walked off. “And he’s totally cute too! I wish a hot guy would pay attention to me for once.”

Kirishima watched them leave, almost forgetting to grab lunch for himself after being so absorbed in what they were saying.

The majority of him knew he shouldn’t pay any mind to it. This sort of thing was bound to happen. Of course his peers try to figure out who was involved with who, even if it wasn’t really accurate or from the most credible source. The girls didn’t know that you were already taken by someone else, in fact, the very person behind them in line.

At least now he knew where you’d gone after class yesterday . . . but why? What were you doing on the tech floor? And who was this third year you were talking to?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Kaminari’s voice. Kirishima returned the greeting, sliding into his seat next to his friend. As he settled into the atmosphere of his usual table, he couldn’t help but scan the cafeteria for your face, just as he had done every day, even before you were dating.

But for the first time, his search came up empty. You were nowhere to be seen.

…

Kobayashi wasn’t exactly the person you wanted to be spending your lunch with.

Really, a part of you wondered why you had to skip going to the cafeteria at all today. But then you remembered the stack of work that sat on your desk. It stubbornly refused to ever shrink, no matter what you did. Recently, it felt like as soon as you got one thing done, two more assignments would find their way right back at the bottom. And this was just another one you had to deal with.

While reviewing your materials for your upcoming finals, you’d begun to take note of other heroes’ costumes and support items. Particularly, you’d taken interest in a hero from Ukraine who’d debuted a few decades ago. Your quirk was wildly similar to his and you couldn’t help but further research his techniques, costume, and gadgets that enhanced his abilities.

You weren’t one to copy. Actually, you quite liked the way your current costume functioned and looked, with its own unique style of your own. Even so, you’d read things about him and his quirk that you honestly hadn’t even thought of for yourself, and you’d begun to make a special section in your notebook for improvements to your hero ensemble. Was it the best use of your time? Perhaps not, but you did have a practical exam coming up, and a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if these improvements you were sketching might make all the difference in your performance . . . .

You decided you could use an upgrade. Which is exactly why you went to the second-year in the support course who was in charge of making adjustments to your costume. Until your hopes were immediately dashed when you found out he was sick. Determined, you went to the next best option: Kobayashi.

He was a nice enough boy. Tall, witty, and a whole year older. You hadn’t expected to be spending so much time with him over the past week, but for whatever reason, he kept calling you back to his workspace in the shop for ‘daily check-ins’. At least he was making good progress.

But now you were spending your lunch hour eating with him. It felt strange, being alone in a different classroom with the guy—not an uncomfortable strange, merely “I’m not used to being here”. You’d let him borrow your notebook full of sketches for your costume, and that’s what he was going over with you now.

He’d ask you for clarification on one of your notes before jotting something down of his own right next to your handwriting. He had also been eager to show you his process, explaining the steps of what he was doing while you ate from your bento.

To be honest, it was kind of nice being in a different setting. Kobayashi was fun to listen to; it was clear he was passionate about what he was doing.

But still, he ran out of things to talk about. That was, when it came to your hero suit. Figuring it was too late to go back to the cafeteria anyway, he ate his own lunch with you, striking up a new conversation.

At first, you didn’t pay any mind to it. But then you began to take notice of how close he sat. Then you realized how eager he was to make you laugh, how smoothly the casual chatter flowed between you. And then it struck you just how much he peppered in compliments to you. Finally, it clicked.

Uh-oh.

You refused to meet his gaze when he waved you off after the bell rang. Dashing away, you wondered how serious he might be. Did he actually like you? No, perhaps you were overthinking the situation.

Then again, he had been being awfully nice to you ever since you’d met. But what if that was just how he was? Kaminari could be like that at times, and you knew he didn’t usually mean anything too serious behind it. Or—well—perhaps Denki the Flirt was a bad example for your case. Still . . . how were you supposed to make it clear to Kobayashi that you weren’t interested?

You shook your head to clear it of these thoughts. He hadn’t actually done anything, so what was the point of worrying about it? You were loyal to Eijirou, you knew that. You’d made a commitment to him just as he had to you, and that was all there was to it. No matter what, you’d continue whatever it was you had with him. Kobayashi wasn’t an issue you should be losing sleep over. Besides, you were probably reading too far into things anyway.

Content with the conclusions you’d made, you walked back into your homeroom class for fifth period. Settling into your seat, you faced the chalkboard in front of you, awaiting the return of Aizawa-sensei, unaware of the pair of ruby eyes fixed on your back.

…

Kirishima shot up from his desk the moment he heard a soft knock on his door. As soon as he opened up his room, you came barreling into his arms. “Hey!” he greeted you, reciprocating the hug.

“Study break!” you announced quietly, not wanting to alert his neighbors of your presence.

He tittered happily to himself, leading your bodies back to his desk where he could sit you on his lap in his chair. Settling comfortably on his thighs, you were quick to slot your lips against his. Kirishima melted into your touch.

How many days had it been since he’d last gotten a chance to kiss you? Two? Three? Either way, it had been far too long.

“Shall we take this to the bed?” he joked after a few minutes of kissing.

You chuckled at his harmless allusion. “You know I’m going to fall asleep as soon as I lay down.”

He brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face, concern morphing his features. “Have you been getting enough rest with all this going on?”

“No,” you admitted. “I was up last night with my English flashcards. I swear Present Mic is trying to kill me with this new vocab, it’s like I can’t get it in my head at all.”

“I could help you study it,” your boyfriend offered, his hands resting lightly on your waist.

“That would be productive,” you said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes. “What was it last time? ‘If I get a set right, I’ll get a kiss’ and then next thing I know, we’re making out on your bed for twenty minutes.”

He grinned up at you coyly. “At least I made studying fun.”

“That wasn’t studying!” you protested with a grin. “Speaking of, my timer’s going to go off soon—” you pressed your lips against his for a moment, “—and I want more kisses.”

Kirishima let you have your way with him, threading your fingers through his hair while you savored the taste of his lips. But there was something still nagging at the back of his mind.

“(Y/N)?” he asked when your phone buzzed and you pulled away. “Where were you during lunch today?”

You shrugged, pulling your phone out of your pocket to silence it. “I’m getting improvements on my hero costume. My regular guy got sick so I’m working with this third-year dude.”

“Ohhh.” Kirishima’s worries dissipated almost instantly. “So that’s why you were on the tech floor.”

Confused, you frowned. “Did you see me there or something?”

“Oh, sorry! I just overheard Ashido saying that she saw you down there.” He laughed. “She thought you were flirting with him or something and that you were going to end up dating.”

“Ah, well,” you mumbled, “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or not but he, um, actually might have been flirting with me.”

Kirishima’s smile dropped, his arms subconsciously squeezing you tighter to him. “What?”

“I only noticed it today—it totally could be nothing—but I think he’s caught feelings? I mean, why else would he ask me to have lunch with him like this? Not to mention how he was smiling at me, and looking at me, and touching my hand—” You bit your tongue, stopping yourself from saying anything else. Maybe this was more serious than you realized.

Your boyfriend was silent, staring at the floor below you with a troubled expression. His ruby eyes traced over the rectangular patterns on his floor, seemingly lost in thought.

“You know that nothing’s going to happen,” you attempted to reassure him, lifting his chin with one of your fingers so he could look into your eyes. “Those feelings aren’t reciprocated and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already picked you, Eijirou. There’s no one out there like you.” You pressed a kiss to his forehead, sealing your statements, not only to him but to yourself. “We’ll sort this out. If I have to tell Kobayashi I’m taken, then so be it. Maybe keeping our relationship a secret isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.”

When you pulled back, you noticed that there was still a pout on Eijirou’s face.

“Aw, what is it?” you asked, tucking one of his fallen sticky spikes back under his bandana.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, pulling you even closer to him.

“Talk to me, baby.” You ran a hand down his back.

“I don’t like the thought of him being around you,” he confessed into your shoulder. “I . . . don’t want him smiling at you like that, or touching you, or letting people think that you belong with him. You’re . . . mine.” He paused before laughing dryly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. That sounded . . . totally selfish of me and probably not very manly at all—”

“No,” you said simply. “It’s actually kinda hot.”

He pulled back to look at you, perhaps to see if you were joking. Your expression was intrigued, maybe a little flustered. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed. “I . . . like when you call me yours. It’s cute. And besides, it’s okay that you feel that way. Feelings don’t have to make sense. I'm frustrated about this too.” Pecking his lips a final few times, you regretfully stood from his chair. “I wish there was something more I could do right now, but I should get going. I promised Tsu and Uraraka I’d meet up with them. We can talk about this later.”

“See you, (Y/N),” Kirishima said.

You smiled and waved, turning to the door and checking to see if anyone was in the hall before slipping back out. Kirishima watched you go, wondering what he should do.

Kirishima hadn’t even met the guy and he already hated him. Sure, Kobayashi wasn’t aware you were taken, and he had every right to show interest in you, but that was supposed to be Eijirou. It was Kirishima’s job to flirt with you and be there for you and sweep you off your feet. Your classmates should be shipping you with him, not this random guy from another year.

The redhead sighed. He shouldn’t let himself get so caught up in this. He knew you were capable of sorting this out on your own, and if you really needed him, Kirishima would help you. He couldn’t start getting whiny like some kind of child.

Besides, your friends could think whatever they wanted. It couldn’t affect your relationship. They were just high school kids. They didn’t even know what they were talking about.

Despite the fact he was trying to get back into focusing on his work, Kirishima’s mind couldn’t help but wander. Maybe once exams were over you could finally announce that the two of you were together. Then you wouldn’t have to sneak around so much anymore. He could hug you whenever he wanted, and you could sit on his lap during movie night. He’d be able to kiss you in front of his friends, no problem. Maybe, just to see the look on his face, he’d kiss you in front of—

No, no. Japanese Literature. That was what he was supposed to be thinking about right now. The sooner he finished his work, the sooner he’d be able to see you again.

…

Finally it was Saturday afternoon, and you knew you had an entire day to take things a little easier tomorrow. Maybe you’d even try to take the evening off and spend some time with your boyfriend. But of course, you had to meet with Kobayashi about your hero costume first. Hopefully it would be quick, and perhaps even the last time.

You walked down to the tech floor, heading straight for the workshop. You needed your suit for the practical exam next week, so you hoped he was ready for you.

Peeking into the room, you spotted him putting something into a very familiar case.

“Oh, are you finished?” you asked, walking in.

“Yeah,” he said brightly. “You’re all set, (L/N).”

“Thanks,” you said.

“Here,” he popped the little box open, showing off the finalized improvements he’d done and the changes he’d made that you’d spoken about together. He walked you through everything and you listened politely, asking the occasional question. Even with the newfound bitter taste in your mouth at being around him, you had to admit he'd done a spectacular job.

“That should be everything,” you said, ready to go. “Thanks for working with me.”

“No problem.”

Satisfied, you began to walk away.

“Wait, (L/N).”

Apprehensive, you stopped, turning back to him. “Yeah?”

“I was just wondering,” he began, bashful, “if you’d like to grab lunch with me sometime.”

You frowned, apologetic. “I can’t, Kobayashi senpai.”

“Why not?” He looked hurt.

You winced. “I’m already involved with someone else.”

“You’re just ‘involved’?” he asked dubiously, the expression on his face changing. “Please give me a chance. I can see that you feel something for me too. Whoever you’re with, I could be better.”

“I’m not interested,” you said firmly, any momentary sympathy you might have felt evaporating. “Goodbye, Kobayashi.”

He let you go, watching as you walked stiffly out of the classroom. As soon as you rounded the doorway, you felt something grab you. Gasping, you startled, but you were quick to register a familiar head of red hair. You saw Kirishima put a finger to his lips, pulling you further down the hall and towards the empty stairwell for some privacy.

He pushed you up against a blue-gray wall, grinning at you with hooded eyes.

“Eiji, what—?”

“I heard the whole thing,” he murmured, leaning in and capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “I thought that guy might make a move on you so I followed you down here. You held your own.” He kissed you again; this one longer, his tongue sneaking its way into your mouth. “You’re really mine, aren’t you?” he murmured against your lips, a stubborn trace of hesitancy still present and quavering in his voice.

“Of course I am, Eiji,” you whispered, touching your forehead to his. “I’m yours.”

He surged against you again, kissing you hungrily and pinning you even harder against the solid surface behind you.

You gasped against his force, eyebrows drawing together as you struggled to keep up. “Ei—” you tried. “Not here, let’s go someplace else.”

“Who cares?” he murmured, uninterested in stopping.

“Me. I don’t want to get caught by a teacher or a random fifteen-year-old. We could get in trouble.”

Kirishima sighed, finally drawing back for a moment to meet your eyes. “Okay, fine. But we’re going straight to my room, right?”

You snorted. “Where else do you think I want to be?”

He smirked, taking your hand again. “Good answer.”

Kirishima briskly walked you back to the dorms, his hand migrating ever lower down your back. It wasn’t long before he was sitting you on his lap in his bed, mouth once again connecting with yours right where it belonged.

You weren’t sure he’d ever kissed you like this before, in all the time you’d been together. His passion blazed before you, unrelenting as your teeth and tongues crashed together. He nipped at your lips until they flushed and swelled, and you knew they’d be noticeably bruised by morning but neither of you stopped. He kept going, trailing more kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jaw, and all the way down your neck only to return right back to your parted lips whispering his name.

Kirishima’s room had never felt so hot and stuffy, even as he pulled off his uniform jacket and helped you out of yours. His cheeks burned red as his eyes, so caught up in what he was doing, the only thoughts his mind was still capable of having were simply You.

It went by in a haze. He wasn’t sure when exactly he’d lowered you onto his pillow, or how long he’d been hovering over you and caging you in with his arms as he cherished you.

But he knew one thing. His love for you wasn’t something he could hide anymore. No, he’d never let anyone think they stood a chance with you again while he was around.

One day soon, he would kiss you good morning at breakfast. One day, you’d hold hands in the halls on the way to class. One day, he’d pull you in close after school, slinging an arm around your hips just so he always knew you were there at his side.

But he was happy to be here with you now. He was happy to be your secret. He was happy, even as his kisses began to soften and slow, content with the way your body melded against his as he laid himself at your side and hugged you closer. All that mattered was that you were here with him now, and he was yours.

And you were his.

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#eijirou kirishima #kirishima eijirou #kirishima bnha #eijirou kirishima bnha #kirishima imagine #eijirou kirishima imagine #kirishima eijirou imagine #kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima x female reader #kirishima x y/n #kirishima x you #bnha x reader #mha x reader #reader insert #request fulfilled!#sugar fics

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purplestzebra10 · 3 years

Text

Umm, what?

Summary: You’ve been trying to shift for a long time now and after a week long break it happens unexpectedly.( This is about reality shifting and if you don’t know what that is you basically shift your consciousness from this reality to another one that you desire. Research it if you’re interested. You don’t have to really know about it to read this fic.)

Pairing: Platonic!Haikyuu x Reader

Word count: around 826

Warnings: nothing just fluff, oh and swear words (idk if I have to warn about that lmfao)

A/N:uhhhh, hey. No long authors note full of excuses, just expect for me to be posting periodically. However, as an apology I will post some of my works from my vault and that may or may not include smut.

For reality shifters: I know its been tough not getting to your goal (I may or may not be speaking from experience) so I though I could write some x readers to cheer yall up.

(this picture is from a google image search.)

Key:

y/n- your name y/l/n- your last name h/c- home country

You took a week off to yourself. It was a break that was very much needed.

It wasn’t school you needed a break from, well yeah you did, but it wasn’t about that.

For what seemed like years, but was actually a few months, you've been trying to shift realities to go into the My Hero Academia universe and it seemed like your efforts weren't working. You listened to the subliminals, meditated, even picked up yoga but it all didn’t seem to work. Hell, you even tried to keep a positive attitude and “acknowledged the doubts and push them away.”

After yelling at the universe for your misfortune, you decided that you guys needed to see other people. Even if to you that meant scrolling through your phone mindlessly while talking to friends.

When you decided to take a nap on a beautiful Friday evening you didn’t have any intention of shifting. You simply went to sleep daydreaming about what it would be like to be a part of the Haikyuu gang.

A few rules would be bent here and there so you could be a volleyball manager along with Yachi. Playfully fighting with Tsukki because he said something under his breath. Watching Hinata go on a long rant about volleyball and how he has to improve in some skill.

Because it was a daydream, you didn’t really have much of a backstory on your character. Just that you are a transfer student from H/C and that you lived alone in an apartment. Said place being a common hangout area for the group to chill and play video games considering there were no parents.

You went to sleep with a small smile plastered on your face. No dreams came to you but what did was much better.

You felt someone poke at your right arm and as you awoke, you saw it to be Yachi.

What the hell?

“Y/n, you’re drooling!” Yachi exclaimed. “Eww.”

“Uhhh, yeah, that’s what people do when they sleep.” You said.

“Gross, but school is over. Hurry up we have to make it to the volleyball gym!” Before you could say anything, she rushed out of the classroom.

You packed up your things and headed towards the gym.

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! HOLD UP!

Your mind finally caught up to the situation and so you made your way towards one of the girls' bathrooms. You locked yourself in a stall and started doing reality checks. You tried putting your hand through the other which failed. You pinched herself quite a few times and felt pain. Then you ran out of the stall ignoring the looks of your supposedly classmates who were walking out and looked in the mirror.

You looked like yourself, a few things changed here and there, just some insecurities, but overall it was her.

“Shit shit shit shit shit. Okay, Y/n let’s not freak out. Let's go over this.” You said as you started to breathe more rapidly. “You went to take a nap, yes. Now you’re here. Okay let’s calm down Y/n you might shift back.”

After steading your breathing you decided to make her way to the gym.

“Could you not surround her until she’s more comfortable?” you heard Kiyoko say as you neared the gym. Not soon after you saw Yachi scurrying off.

“Um, Y/n, there are a lot of dudes in there and they’re kind of scary.” Yachi warned you.

“I love you, but it is boys volleyball.”

When you made it to the door you gave it a few knocks and were greeted by Kiyoko.

“There she is!” Kiyoko exclaimed. “Everyone, this is Y/n Y/l/n! She’s in the same class as Yachi and hopefully also going to be a manager.”

“Wow Kiyoko, you got two girls!” Nishinoya said which was rewarded with a slap on the head by Daichi.

“Hey everyone!” You said.

“Hello!” The boys said in unison.

“Um, I don’t really know much about volleyball so I don’t know how much I’ll be of use.” You explained.

“It's okay, I’ll teach you the basics if you can help me warm up.” Hinata offered. Without giving you a chance to reply, he grabbed one of your wrists and pulled you to the volleyball net.

While you helped Hinata with warm ups he went through the different aspects of volleyball and what was needed to win. You completely forgot that you technically weren’t supposed to know everyone so you asked Hinata to help you put faces to names.

Even after that was done there was a lot of time left for practice so for the rest of it you ended up talking to Kiyoko about your job as the manager. However, the whole time you were internally screaming at the fact that you were actually here.

Out of nowhere, a volleyball had come flying your way which made you accidentally say your safe word. You awoke from your nap that apparently lasted a few hours.

#shifting realities #shifting #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #ryu tanaka x reader #nishinoya x reader #daichi x reader #hinata x reader #kageyama x reader #tsuki x reader #x reader #tanaka x reader #shifting symptoms #shifting script #shiftinconsciousness #shifting stories

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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

Note

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

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your-local-vamp · 3 years

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I disappeared off of the face of the earth for a while, but I’m back ya’ll!! I need to get used to the whole writing and then posting it thing haha. Anyway! I’ve had this idea for a really long time, but was very much procrastinating on writing it. Whoops. But here it is! It’s honestly mostly focused on the whole conflict within the vampire’s mind. I like to show different sides of them. My last one was straight up a stalker, but this one is a liiiiiiitle different, you’ll see :)! I need to shut up before I spoil the entire thing out of excitement lol. Oh and also! I finally took it upon myself to research how I can write better, make it easier to read and stuff. So if there are some errors or if anyone has advice for me, please do leave a comment! Also also, I have a habit to listen to badass vibe songs while writing/reading, so if you’re interested in some recommendations, hit me up! Okay that’s really it. Have fun reading!

Again, this story contains some explicit themes (blood, character death, overall just being angsty af) so make sure to check the tags before reading!

—————

Running From Death

I once again find myself drinking in the bar located a few blocks from my apartment. That intoxicated feeling I get after a few glasses is amazing to me. It’s pleasant to feel good for a change.

Being here also allows me to converse with the humans. Which is… Interesting to say the least. Their different personalities, lifestyles, stories. I happen to eavesdrop into conversations from time to time, which results in me hearing the most outrageous stories sometimes. May they be true or not, they interest me.

I try not to attract too much attention to myself, but I fail in doing so most of the time. Blame it on my charismatic vampire looks, I guess. Humans often strike conversations with me, but I’m not one to complain. I like talking to them when I get the opportunity.

The bell attached to the front door rings. A woman enters the bar. “Oh god, it’s her again,” someone in one of the booths behind me sighs. Hmm, must be a regular. I come here embarrassingly often, enough to call myself a regular as well, but I haven’t seen her before. She’s very handsome looking.

My hand covered with a leather glove tightens around the whiskey glass.

“Control yourself, please. You’ve practiced this many times before.”

It repeats in my head over and over again. Unfortunate things usually happen when I’m drunk. It saddens me, because I wish to not hurt anyone. I was a human once too. And I want to remember the memories from back then. Try to do ‘human’ things. But it’s hard, especially with-

“Hey, how are ya doing?” A voice interrupts my intrusive thoughts.

I look up and see the handsome woman sitting on a stool next to me. Her voice is lively and confident. But it’s probably just the liquor talking.

“Just thinking.”

“Abouuuuut?”

Oh god. She’s totally wasted. I now notice that she can barely even sit up straight without falling over. I can’t help but smile at her actions though, it’s almost endearing in a way.

“Just contemplating life, really.”

“I came here to do the exact same thing!” the woman says.

“How so?” I ask, now completely interested in her story.

“Ugh, where do I even start? My shitty boss fired me today. And you know what the most fucked up part about it all is? The fact that I’ve been working there for years! I did so much for his company, but he decides to just fire me, because ‘he’s gotta cut some people down’. So, I came here to drink my sorrows away. Well, I may have already visited two other bars, so I’m kinda far gone already haha.” The woman keeps on rambling, without actually making eye contact with whom she’s talking to. But I happen to listen to every single word.

“Why did he have to cut people off?” I question the woman.

“Pfshh, I don’t even know. Not enough money, I guess. He could’ve fired literally anyone else, but-“ she interrupts her own sentence, while her eyes make contact with the bartender, “-Hey! Can I have uhhhh. Whatever he has?” she finishes, while she absentmindedly points at my own drink.

She seems to have forgotten what she was talking about before, she’s just staring at the bartender until her drink is ready.

“And what’s your excuse for being here?” she asks, while taking a sip of her whiskey.

“Just taking a break from drinking blood and killing people.”

Well, that’s what I should’ve said if I really wanted to be honest. But being honest isn’t my reality. Lying has become my forte over the many years I have been a vampire. I don’t exist in the eyes of humans. And it should stay that way.

“Just taking a break from life.”

Yeah, that should do it.

“I come over here to share my entire life story, and all you’ve got for me is that? Damn.”

Or not.

“My life is really not that interesting,” I quickly add, trying not to blow my cover.

She takes an observing look at me. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my entire existence. She gives me the feeling like she can look right through my lies. “Hahaha, I’m just messin’ with ya. I don’t like to pry into people’s lives like that anyway,” the woman smiles.

Phew, I barely got away with that one. I return a signature smile to her. The one that makes everyone all the more invested in me, it seems.

*a few hours later*

The handsome stranger and I have been talking for hours. I lost track of time a while ago. Talking, or rather listening to her, reminds me of my human days. I used to help my elder neighbors with chores around the house, but ended up listening to them for hours and hours. I knew that when I had finished the chores, there would be a nice hot cup of tea and cookies waiting for me. The elder couple loved to share their stories with me. I know now that most of them were of pure fantasy, but at that time they were something I would so eagerly wait for to hear.

This woman gives me that feeling of nostalgia. The excitement of finally hearing the story I have longed for. It’s odd, since I have only met her a few hours ago. But somehow I feel like I’ve known her for a really long time.

“Nghn, my head hurts…” She snaps me out of my thoughts. “Woah there, don’t fall off that stool now,” I say, while carefully taking a step towards her. “C-Can you take me home?”

I look at her with disbelief.

Did she really just ask me to walk her home?

“U-Uh, I can call a cab for you? Or ask one of your friends to come pick you up maybe? I’m sure that-“

“Please.”

She looks at me with eager eyes. Her intention is really for me to take her home. If only she knew what I really am. I sigh. “Let me go to the toilet first, then I’ll walk you home.” I finally surrender to the human.

The entire way to the toilet I ask myself what I’m getting myself into. I shouldn’t be doing this, I know that all too well. But I can’t just keep hiding my true feelings all the time. I want to live amongst humans. I know that we can coexist. As long as I control myself, everything will be fine.

I sigh, take my gloves off and use the toilet. My head is suddenly throbbing like hell. I can feel that my body is trying to fight the urge to kill every single soul in this bar. Everything spins.

Shit.

“Hey, you ready or not? I feel like puking!” I hear the woman urgently knocking on the door. “Y-Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec!” I shout back.

I quickly finish and go back to the bar. “Let’s go,” we hurriedly exit the bar. She does so, because she needs to get home asap. And I do so, because of obvious reasons.

I can feel that I’m starting to lose control. It was a mistake drinking this much. I’m usually okay with drinking a few glasses, but this woman has a certain effect on me. And it’s not a positive one. Not while I’m drunk, at least.

The woman is currently walking behind me, laughing at her own jokes. All I want right now is to drop her off as fast as I can.

“Ah, shit!” I hear a loud thud.

I look back and see that she is now sitting on the cold concrete.

“What happened?” I ask, clearly concerned.

The woman shakes her head. “I’m so clumsy, I literally just stumbled over my own feet haha.”

God, we’re never going to get anywhere like this. “Oh nooo! My new pants! Ugh, this stuff always happens to me.”

I take a quick look at her leg and notice that the fabric is ripped open. She took a great fall apparently, otherwise that wouldn’t have happened.

“Damn, I’m bleeding too.”

That’s all she had to say to make my eyes turn red and making my fangs expose themselves. I quickly turn around, hoping that she didn’t notice my weird behavior already.

“Are you okay…?” she asks, proving my thoughts wrong. I disregard her question and return it with my own.

“Is it bad?”

I don’t know why I’m asking her that. No matter of how bad it is, the mere smell of her blood is driving me insane. All I can think about is that right at this moment.

“Uhm, no I think that I’m okay.” I can hear that she’s getting up and has started to walk towards me.

“Please, don’t come any closer.” I say this with a serious tone, hoping that she’d cease to move instantly.

“What’s wrong? It’s not even that bad.”

Fuck fuck fuck.

I can’t hold the urge back anymore. I never want to hurt humans, but I also can’t forget of who I have become. I’m a vampire. To stay alive, I need blood. Alcohol has terrible effects on me.

It’s like drinking water with salt in it. You’re drinking, but it worsens your thirst because of the salt. Alcohol only enhances my thirst for blood. I’m learning the consequences of that now.

The woman has come even closer to me. I turn around, only to see a reached out hand with blood on it. I try to fight the dark side of me with everything I have. That side of me gives in, eventually. I resist the urge and grab her wrist, only to warn her to stop.

However, this action suffers a great consequence. The woman looks at me. The white of her eyes turn dark red.

Wait… I look at my hand, having a firm hold on her wrist.

“My gloves!” is all I can utter at this moment.

I have forgotten my gloves in the toilet area. How can I be so stupid… I’m unable to touch any living being with my bare hands. If I do so, it dies. Everything I touch turns into dust. It’s a curse I have carried with me ever since I turned. It has barely posed as a problem the last few years. But I… I touched her without gloves on.

“W-Wait. No. I’m sorry, please!” I beg for my actions to reverse themselves. But what happened cannot be undone.

The woman’s eyebrows furrow and her eyes look back into mine, filled with betrayal. “H-How cou-ld y-ou,” she chokes on her own blood. She is in immense pain, I can tell. I let go of her hand, terrible guilt now washing over me.

She takes a look at her shaking hand, which gets covered with popping veins inch by inch. The sounds coming from her are agonizing. She stumbles backwards, now nearing her end. Tears roll down my cheek, as I carry her.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know my gloves were…” I’m unable to finish my sentence, as my non beating heart breaks seeing her mouth all covered in blood clots.

It’s ironic, really. I was barely able to resist the smell of her blood before, but now even though I’m covered with it, I don’t seem to mind.

Her body shivers uncontrollably, until it stops moving at all. I hold her limp body, watching my tears fall on her veiny cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I keep repeating it, somewhere having a wishful thought that I could go back before all of this happened.

But her body stays unmoving. I scream and I scream, all of my human feelings washing over me now. This shouldn’t have happened. My ignorance allowed this to take place. And I will never forgive myself for it.

I hear sounds of a crowd nearing by. In total panic, I let go of her body and hide in a nearby alleyway. I crouch and hold my hands over my own ears, trying to ignore the screams that are coming from the spot where I just killed a human. The tears are now streaming down, my thoughts racing. What have I done? I should’ve never went to that bar in the first place.

Fuck, I need to get out of here before they find me. I try to leave the guilt there and run from myself as fast as I can. I am a monster. And no matter how hard I cling on to the little humanity I’ve got left, I will always remain one.

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themerriweathermage · 3 years

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Author Interview

I was tagged by @sleepswithvillains . I’ve never been tagged much before so this is kind of new for me, but I love it! Tag me all the time! Also you did it again, where I got the Tumblr notification like right as I went to bed, but my sleep schedule is so wack right now.

Tagging: @guardianofrivendell @moriamithril @sunflower1000 and really whoever wants to do it. Drop me a tag if you decide to do it because I definitely want to see what you have to say!

I have a lot of unfinished fics and not a lot of published works in comparison.

1. Name: The Merriweather Mage (Tumblr)/ RinzlersGhost (AO3)

2. Fandoms: LOTR/The Hobbit, The Witcher (TV), SWTOR/Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Twilight, Underworld (though I’m not active in most of them unless I’m hyper-fixating)

3. Where you post: AO3, Tumblr, and I have an inactive FF.NET account

4. Most popular oneshot: People seem to have a real affinity for Meleth-nin/My Love. I actually hated writing it, because I was in such a bad place after receiving news that my childhood dog had died, but I don’t hate the fic itself.

5. Most popular multichapter: Every Kitten Has Claws which is a Geralt X Druid Fem!Reader. 25 Kudos, 3 bookmarks, 517 hits. Followed by Turuhalme in the Greenwood which is Thranduil X Fem!Reader. 9 Kudos, 1 bookmark, 270 hits. Both contain 18+ Content.

6. Actual worst part of writing: I legitimately hate writing fight scenes. I’m horrible at them and most of my fics contain some sort of fight scene obnoxiously enough. Although the best advice I ever saw on here was to keep your fight scenes short because not very many people are interested in a long drawn out detailed fight scene.

7. Favorite story you wrote: Bards & Beans Coffee Co. Elrond X Fem!Reader. Was the first time I’d ever written anything in the second person. I based it off of a dream I had about meeting Elrond in a coffee shop. I planned it, wrote it, and posted it in the span of four days. It’s basically as if Middle Earth exists on the other side of meridian locks, and it’s set during the War of the Ring but with some of the characters from the Hobbit so the timelines are pretty pushed together. Your side of the meridian locks has a Earth that is basically a continuous strip of land that varies from high-tech futuristic ports all the way down to medieval ports. Basically the farther North you go, the more high tech and futuristic the land becomes. Quite a shock for those who would have never been to the other side of the locks. 18+ Content.

8. Story you were nervous to post: Most likely all of them. Any of my Twilight work though, I always hesitate about publishing. Sometimes it’s because the stories are close to my heart, but I also know that the fandom can be rabid. Most of the interactions I’ve ever had with Twilight blogs are fine, but there’s a lot of discourse about Twilight right now, and while I appreciate that most people are in the right (the issue with the Quileute tribe, the Cullen’s as villains, Jasper and the Confederacy, the actual legitimacy of the Volturi as a ruling body, etc), this is actually one of the reasons I left the fandom from a writing/following POV. (There are many, many things that are wrong with Twilight and not from a literature point of view. For example, Meyers took a real life Native American tribe and treated them highly unfairly in the books, to the point of calling them dogs which isn’t very fair at all, and they have received no compensation for being used and they are risk in the place they live in now. If you have some time and money, I would recommend checking out the Quileute Move to Higher Ground project.)

9. How you choose your titles: For story titles, I like to choose the main theme or a main phrase that is used. For chapter titles, I either don’t title or I will chose something that is a main part of the chapter.

10. Complete works: Out of the 21 works I have on AO3, 18 of them are completed, although one is an open ended and may be reopened after I get some of the larger works out of my way. As for fics in general that I haven’t published or have published on other platforms, there is 2 of 5 complete works on FF.NET. Some of those stories I will be pulling and deleting. The two complete works will be migrating to AO3.

11. Incomplete works: Actively: Sadril-nin/My Loyal One, A Hunter’s Circlet, and Beauty in Brokenness (unpublished for now). I have a few other inactive LOTR/The Hobbit based fics that I might try to finish after the main two are finished. Inactive: Literally too many to count. I mean, when I wrote my goodbye to the Twilight fandom, I said that I had been writing for the fandom for nearly nine years. I have so many unfinished Twilight fics, well over 100.

12. Do you outline: Not usually. I’m at the point with Sadril-nin right now where I’m literally following a map of Middle Earth and cataloguing the journey across the map, so I guess that could be considered an outline. Mostly if I’m writing for LOTR/The Hobbit, I want to follow the timeline of progression for the story that’s already been written. I do have a little bit of leeway in that gap between The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings though.

13. Coming soon ideas, maybe? I’ve been giving you a taste of Beauty in Brokenness. I do intend to publish it, but it’s a constant struggle to rework it. I have ideas that I want to cement in the story that don’t always come out the way I want them to, so I am consistently reworking parts of it all the time. I will also be rewriting (eventually) Crown of Thorns, which is Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic, Lord Beckett X Siren!OFC. I also appreciate the idea of Nestadion X Centaur Fem!Reader, but instead of being a centaur all the time, you’re actually a shifter who can turn into a centaur. Really confuses a warrior elf to see what amounts to a small human carrying this massive two handed sword around and calling him “princess” all the time.

14. Ask me anything: Is there anything you miss in fanfic? In comparison to the actual book/movie? Not really. I appreciate the original works, but I recognize that they can be flawed and so can their authors/writers. Which is why fanfic is so appealing-- everyone has a different spin on the original; everyone has a different take on the characters, everyone writes differently, and that’s the fascinating part to me. The only downside, of course with any fanfic, is the fandom and it can be hit or miss with people. It is what it is, and the liberty of fanfic is that not everyone is going to like or enjoy your works, and the same goes for your tastes. Are there right or wrong opinions? I don’t know; I’ve both read and written some morally ambiguous fics, and some I would like to forget that I very much haven’t.

15. Best writing traits: Same as the worst writing traits. I’m a sucker for detail. I love it. I want my readers to see it like I do. When I read books or play D&D or play video games, I see it like I’m in a movie. When I write, I want you to see it like you’re on set and the cameras are rolling and you are perfectly prepared. I want you to feel like you are in the story, which is why my oneshots turn into series, and my multi-chapter fics turn into novel length stories. I find it obnoxious at times, because I feel like I can’t ever turn it off, but by the feedback I get, some of y’all really enjoy it, so let’s get this show on the road.

16. Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Uhhhh, let me go browse my WIP folder. I’ve put quite a bit of research into rewriting Crown of Thorns and making it slightly more historically accurate. I know that there will be a Part 2 to Sadril-nin, because I’m not going to time skip a seventy/eighty year gap between the timelines of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And I really don’t want to submit y’all to this absolutely massive story all jam-packed into one fic. Other than that, I’m also sitting on Through Hellfire and High Waters, which is another Elrond X Reader fic that follows the premise of a modern/medieval world all smashed into one. The Queen of Eryn Galen also needs a proper ending and to be published, a Thranduil X OFC fic; this one will also have a Part 2.

17. Spicy Tangential Opinion: I don’t care if my writing makes the characters out of character. I try to tag that if I can, but let’s be real here. Either I’m writing a character that originally has a limited backstory and a very real chance at an open-ended future, or I didn’t like the canon character and I’m rejecting that reality and replacing it with my own. Does it mean that I don’t or am refusing to recognize character flaws? No, and that’s the beauty of fanfic. You can do whatever you want. You might get hate for it or you might not. For example, I am a fan of Severus Snape (RIP Alan Rickman). Does his character have flaws? Yes. Do I like the way he was canonically written? No. Are his actions justifiable? Hell no. Is that going to stop me from being a fan? Again, no. He is arguably one of the most disagreed upon character of that series. I don’t see a need to defend why I write him the way I do. I don’t see a need to defend him in discourse, and I’m certainly not going to be hateful about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about it. Yes, there was probably some underlying intent when the character was written. I’m not here (unless you’re specifically asking my opinion on it) I’m not here to read in between the lines with characters like Snape. I do not care enough to lose friends over opinions like that.

#long post #i am so sorry #get to know the author

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diaryofabeautyfiend · 4 years

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Officially Nowhere Ch 2

You were packing for a mission when Steve knocked on your door. You were always on high alert but more so now that SHIELD was infiltrated. Okoye assured you that you were not in danger. SHIELD didn’t even have you on their radar. You were still antsy.

You looked at your cameras and saw that he was alone. With your hand still on your gun you opened the door slowly. “Hey” he said a half smile briefly passing his lips. “Come in” you stood aside placing your weapon on the table. He didn’t speak. He dropped his bag and went to the couch.

“You planning on staying for a bit?”

He noticed your bags on the other side of the room, “I was hoping to spend a couple of days with you. But I see that I should not have assumed that would be ok. When do you leave?” “Not until tomorrow night. Normally I would love for you to stay. Some things are going down so I’ve been called away.”

You sat next to him with your legs crossed. You pat your thigh indicating that he should lie down. Once he does you rake your fingers through his hair. He hugged your knees like a pillow.

“Sam filled me in on everything. I can help you find Bucky.”

“You don’t have to get involved.”

“I want to. He needs help. You can’t do it all on your own.”

“Thank you.” You felt his tears hitting your leg. You reach down to hold his hand. “He didn’t even know me. It’s just as well. I couldn’t save him on the train and I couldn’t save him on the carrier.”

Your heart ached for this man. You wanted to take his pain away and the only thing that would take it away is finding Bucky. “We’ll find him.” you said softly.

He stayed quiet for a while. You continued finger combing his hair while he absentmindedly petted your leg. “Can we talk about you for a little bit?” he finally asked.

“What about me?”

“I did some research on the War Dogs. There wasn’t much in SHEILD’s archives. Why does Wakanda need intelligence so strategically placed?”

“Doesn’t every country implant intelligence everywhere?”

“Yeah. I suppose. But why you?”

“I told you. Good will visit when I was in the hospital. They listened to my story, decided that I had valuable skills and hired me.”

“You didn’t say you were in the hospital.”

Crap. You told Nat your whole story. You purposefully omitted all of it when talking to Steve. “Y/N, talk to me. Why were you in the hospital?” You mentally kicked yourself. You wanted to keep all of this behind you. You certainly didn’t want Steve to look at you different. He sat up to face you. “Look at me. You don’t have to tell me about your mission or why you work for a foreign government. I want to know why Sam had to save you and why you were reported dead.” You hid your face in your hands groaning. “I don’t want to tell you. God I don’t want to tell you.” You were already starting to cry. He squeezed your thigh letting you know he was listening and told him the whole story. This time you didn’t speed through like you did with Nat. You told him as many details as you could remember. He looked angry and scared. Exactly what you wanted to avoid. “Why are you in hiding?” his voice was stern. “It has nothing to do with my unit. It is because, as a War Dog, I really can’t draw attention to myself. The mission I’m going on is to track down a vibranium smuggler. He sold a lot of it and we need to know why and , more important, how he got it out of Wakanda.”

“That sounds like something we should look into.” You scoffed “‘We’ as in the Avengers? No way. You’ll make a mess of things. We have to be stealthy. When no one knows you’re alive no one is expecting you. I’m a ghost. I’m good at this. Stay out of it.” He trusted you but still made a mental note that this should remain on his radar. He’d ask Hill to check it out.

“Hey” you snapped in his face. “I mean it. Let me do my job.” “Ok! I got it. The Avengers won’t interfere. Let’s move passed this. Deal? No more heavy topics. Tell me about your life before you went into the service..” You talked for hours. You told him about your family and friends. Told stories about Sam and all of the heroic things he did. He told you about Peggy and his time in battle. You added movies and music to his list in his little notebook. You ate dinner and snuggled by the fire pit. It was going to be hard to say goodbye tomorrow. You didn’t have the heart to tell him just how deep you were going. He would worry. For now you would just savor the moments you had together and hope you would see him again.

You promised him a hike in the morning so Steve was up early. He got your packs together and went to wake you. “Hey, sleepyhead. Let’s go.” You threw the covers over your head in protest. “Oh no, ma’am. Get up or I’ll have to take you by force.” You opened one eye and said, “And how exactly do you plan to do that, Captain?” He laughed and shook his head, “You asked for it...” Little did you know, Steve had been thinking about fucking you all morning. He loved the way you looked when you were still sleeping. The blanket was barely covering you, shirt riding up exposing your back, the bottom swell of your ass just peaking out of your panties . He was already half hard. He pulled the blanket off and pinned you down in one quick motion. You wrapped your legs around his waist. “Well good morning, Captain” His facial expression was all business. “Legs down.” he said while locking his eyes on yours. You complied. With his free hand he lifted your sleep shirt. He twisted it behind your head keeping your arms in place. He sat up so he could slip your panties down. They were already wet. He ran his finger over the stickiest spot and then licked it off of his finger tip. He balled them up and grabbed your jaw forcing it open. He stuffed in your panties wet spot first. Your mouth went dry tasting yourself and laundry detergent. You tried to spit them out but he shoved them back in harder. He broke for just a minute to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He planted a quick kiss on your forehead. “We can stop any time.” Your eyes widened and you shook your head “no”. He chuckled and said, “Good.”

Your cunt was dripping. He licked a line down to you thighs. He inhaled deeply. His eyes closed lashes fluttering. The scent was intoxicating. He licked his lips bringing them close to your pussy. You could feel his breath on your skin. He slid his arm around your waist and used his thumb and forefinger to open you up. He flicked the tip of his tongue all around your clit but never quite touching it. You were aching for relief. He flattened his tongue and pressed it on your clit. It was too much. Your hips bucked and your thigh muscles quivered. Your legs tried to close. You willed them to stay open. He slid in three fingers stretching you. He pulled his face away asking, “Are you gonna cum for me? I want you to cum for me.” You moaned in response.

He lowered his head back down and sucked the defenseless swollen bud. He inserted a fourth finger and it hurt a little but in a very good way. His hand fucked you hard and fast. You couldn’t take it anymore and you released having the most intense orgasm of your life. He stood up and continued to finger you while he took his cock out. Without warning he was inside of you. All of him. The sensation was too much and you came again. “Already? Give me one more.” He fucked you harder. Your skin made a loud slapping sound. “You feel so good. Ah I’m gonna cum....fuck.....ah! Yes, y/n” He threw his head back slamming you down on him. You came too moaning against your panties. He pulled them out so your voice was unobstructed. You said his name and it sounded like a prayer. He pulled you close to his body and squeezed you tight. “Oh my God. That was amazing.” You kissed his cheek and said, “You weren’t half bad, Captain.” You both laughed. “Come on. You promised me a hike.”

You hiked for about a mile and stopped in a little clearing to have lunch. “So. How long are you gone?”

“Uhhhh I have no idea.”

“Where will you be?”

“Sokovia.”

“What’s in Sokovia?”

You rolled your eyes, “You know I can’t tell you. What’s with all the questions?”

“I guess I care about you, kid. I don’t want you to get hurt. I want to make sure you’re safe.” You gave him your warmest smile.

“I guess I care about you too. I don’t have any answers for you because I don’t know the answers. I don’t know if I can contact you. I have to go dark.”

He clenched his jaw. “So I’m just supposed to hang back and worry about you?”

“You don’t have to hang back and do anything. I’m sorry if I don’t feel any sympathy for you here. I haven’t really had anyone to answer to, Captain. I don’t plan on starting now.”

He held your hand to his chest and bent his head to kiss your finger tips. “You had better come back to me, Y/N.”

“Is that an order, sir?”

“You bet your sweet ass it is.” You stayed that way for a few more seconds. ”Do you know you said Steve and not Captain when you came that last time?” You giggled and turned yourself around so your back pressed against his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you in a warm embrace and kissed the top of your head. “I’m not sure what we’re doing here, Steve” he hugged you tighter, “I don’t know either. I know I like you...a lot. Let’s not rush anything. Does that sound ok?”

“Sounds good to me. We need to start heading back. My ride will be here soon.” He kissed your temple, “Five more minutes.”

Steve threw his bag in the cab of his truck. “Please be safe. I’m begging you.” You kissed each other goodbye. You wanted to make it a really good one. “I’ll let you know when I get there. That’ll be the last time you hear from me for a while though.” “I know. Ok. If I don’t get in my truck right now I’m not gonna go.” You kissed one more time. He got in the truck and drove away. As he turned on to the main road he saw a chopper flying low. Must be your ride.

SOKOVIA

All roads lead from Sokovia. You were sent by King T’Chaka to track down Ulysses Klaue. It is believed that, with the help of the king’s brother, Klaue was able to smuggle a large amount of Vibranium out of Wakanda. You had to find out why. You were joined by War Dogs from London and Seoul under the cover of humanitarian relief workers. You were there for several weeks before all hell broke loose. Once the Ultron bots ascended onto the city, your team was instructed to head home. You knew Steve would be there. You asked to stay to help but your orders were clear. “This is not our fight” Okoye barked. You and your friend Grant packed the jet. You kept looking around. You were searching for him. “He’s not here yet. I would imagine the Avengers don’t know anything pertinent as of now. That amount of vibranium will level the city.”

”All the more reason we should stay to help.”

“Help how? Your boyfriend and his friends don’t want help. They only worry about their own agendas. The best way we can help is by getting out of the way.”

You boarded the jet. Before take off you sent the stolen weapons schematics to Maria Hill. Maybe you couldn’t stop Ultron but you could nudge the Avengers in the right direction.

Hill received your message. At the bottom was a note for Steve. Hill gave the information to the team.

“That’s handy information. Wonder how it landed in our laps.” Nat said smiling.

“I think this part was just for you, Cap” she handed him the note. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before reading it.

“You didn’t get this from me. You had better come back to me, Captain.

<3,

Y/F/I (your first initial)”

He smiled, folded the paper and stuffed it in his pocket.

The intention was to go back home after Wakanda but there was a lot to clean up. You hadn’t talked to Steve but, thanks to your home surveillance, you know he passed by. You weren’t ready to talk to him yet. There were talks of accords...basically a leash on the Avengers. You thought it was a solid idea. Steve wouldn’t. Just as you were about to put him out of your head you got a text from a colleague in Romania, Sergeant Barnes was spotted. You groaned and rolled your eyes. You could just forward the text to him but you knew he would call for more details. Shit. You dialed his number. It barely rang before he picked up, “Y/N? Where are you? I haven’t heard from you. I thought the worst.”

“I’m alive. I’m dealing with a mess here no thanks to you.” He heard the irritation in your voice. Best not to argue.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just happy to hear your voice. When are you coming back?”

“Soon. Look I don’t have much time to talk. Bucky is in Romania.”

“Romania? Ok. Can you meet Sam and I there? We can take him back with us...”

“No, Steve. I need a break. I’m going home. I’m not running around Eastern Europe chasing shadows. I said I would help you and I have. If I hear anything more I’ll send it your way.”

Steve was confused. You did not sound like yourself. He guessed you were upset about everything that had happened. He understood. He just wanted to see you. To hold you. “Can I see you when you get back?”

“Won’t you be in Romania?”

“It can wait.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.”

“I’ll be there waiting for you.”

You found Nakia and told her you had to leave. She hugged you and got you on the first flight out. “He’s a good man, Nakia.” “The most well intentioned usually are. I hope all of this is worth it to him.” You embraced again and then got on the plane. The whole way back you were unable to rest. No one is perfect. Not even King T’Chaka could control his own brother. You supposed we were all pretty short sighted when it came to those we love.

As promised Steve was waiting for you when you got home. He took your bags and followed you in. He waited for you to speak. “I’m going to take a shower. You coming?” He smiled and bit his knuckle. He followed the trail of clothes down the hall. Once in the bathroom he stripped and got in the shower. Your mouth was on his immediately. His cock pressed firm into your hip. You reached down to start stroking him. He moaned in your mouth. He grabbed your hips, turned you around pressing your breasts against the cold tile, he lifted your leg and entered you from behind. You both came fast. Once you caught your breath you finished showering without talking. You did this little dance reserved for couples who have been together for several years. You scrubbed his back he washed your hair. This was comfortable and you didn’t want it to end. Maybe it didn’t have to.

You spent the rest of the night crossing movies off of his list. “You were right. Hans Gruber is the best movie villain.” “SEE?! I told you! Want to start Harry Potter?!” He laughed and pulled you off the couch. “Bed now. Harry Potter tomorrow.”

You rested your head on his chest. He ran his fingers up and down your spine. “Wanna talk about Sakovia?” He said yawning.

“No. It’s over and done. I do want to ask you something. You can say no. You can say it’s too soon. I know you’re looking for a place. I was wondering if you want your place to be here.” He didn’t say anything for several minutes. “Say something. Please.” “Are you asking me to move in?”

“I’m not not asking you. But if you want to then yes.”

“Yes. Yeah. I want to move in. I might have to stay at the compound sometimes. Yes.”

You smiled against his skin and he brought your hand to his lips to kiss your palm. “I wanted to say something to you too. While we were apart I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

“And I realized that I couldn’t miss someone so much if I didn’t love them.” He heard you snore softly. “Y/N? Damn it.” He brushed hair out of your face peaking down to see you completely asleep. “I love you, Y/N.”

You were up very early the next morning to work. You made coffee and toasted bagels. That was about as domestic as you could be at the moment. Okoye wanted a status briefing. You were waiting on her to come online when Steve wandered in. “Good morning, beautiful” he said after kissing your forehead. “Morning. There’s coffee. I’m getting ready to get on a video chat. You need to stay out of sight.” He saluted you, “Yes, ma’am.” Okoye rang in. Next to her was Prince T’Challa.

“Good morning, Mhibu. I trust you arrived home safely.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you again for the ride.”

“It is always my pleasure. Let’s get to it so the General can stop breathing down my neck.” Okoye did not look pleased. She never does.

“Y/L/N, did you deliver the package?”

“Yes, ma’am. All parties were satisfied.”

“That is good news. You missed weapons training this morning. Your aim was sloppy last time. Also, Princess Shuri perfected the range on your Kimoyo beads. We’ll send them with a messenger in a few days. Please keep them on this time. It is important for your safety.” Prince T’Challa rolled his eyes.

“Okoye, let Mhibu get back to Captain Rogers. She’ll will be back with us soon enough. I am sure you can scold her more then.” She clenched her jaw and bowed to him before marching away. “I am going to get an earful later.” You both laughed. He bid you farewell and you ended your call.

You didn’t look back at Steve who, most assuredly, had a lot of questions. “Go ahead. I know you want to ask.”

“What does Mhibu mean?”

“It’s Swahili for ‘dear one’. The Queen gave me that nickname and it stuck. Next?”

“What kind of weapons? What are Kimoyo beads...” You held your hands up asking for mercy.

“The Wakandans make weapons out of vibranium. It was likely some sort of knife or spear. Kimoyo beads contain my medical information, can start a vehicle, and can act as a communicator. I switched them off on my last mission. The General was pissed.”

“It’s like you left one army for another.”

“Yeah but this army is lead by women and the toys are much cooler.”

“I can work on your aim with you if you want. Maybe we can work on your hand to hand combat skills.”

“Captain, I am not an enhanced person. I don’t think it would be a fair fight.”

“Fine. Come back to the compound with me. No one will know you are there. You can work with Nat or Hill.”

“I don’t think so. I’m fine waiting.”

“Oh come on. It’ll be fun. I’m dying to introduce you around. Show you off a little.” You giggled to yourself. “I’m sure Sam would love to see you. Please.”

“Fine. I have about an hours worth of work to do here. If you can stop distracting me we’ll go.” He made a zipping motion over his lips and left the room.

You didn’t know why but you were nervous. Steve seemed excited almost giddy that you were meeting his friends. It was a long drive so you packed an overnight bag. The trip up was fun. You talked a lot about nothing. You played him some music you liked. You made him listen to Sgt. Pepper in its entirety. Once you got closer he could see you were anxious. He held your hand and squeezed, “Relax. You will be great.” You gave him an uneasy smile.

You pulled in and saw Sam waiting in the garage. You jumped out of the truck and he wrapped you in a bear hug.

“Look at that smile. You look good, girl. Love agrees with you.” You punched his arm, “Don’t tease me. I can take you out.”

He put his arm around your shoulder, “Come on. Everyone is waiting.” You shot a look at Steve who just shrugged.

When you walked inside most of the team was in the kitchen talking. Noticeably absent were Thor and Dr. Banner. Nat came over kissing your cheek. “Good to see you.” You looked her over, “How did everything heal up?” She flashed her skin. A small scar was visible but nothing major, “I’m amazing.” Steve wrapped an arm around your waist and said, “Can I borrow my girl?” Nat rolled her eyes but relented. Steve brought you over to meet the rest of the team. Clint and Rhodey stood and shook your hand. Vision did the same. Wanda kept her distance but was friendly. Tony came over and hugged you patting you on the back.

“Well look at this. Grandpa got himself a lady. Nice to meet you, Y/N. We have heard very little about you. It’s good to see you exist. We thought Jan over here was having himself a George Glass moment.” You laughed remembering those old episodes of “The Brady Bunch” you used to watch as a kid. Steve did not understand the reference. “ It’s from a tv show. I’ll explain why it was funny later.”

“So, friend. Are you staying for a few days?” Before you can answer Steve spoke up.

“She doesn’t want to train with me. I said I would go easy on her.” You looked back at him and scoffed. “Go easy on me? Please. I have more training than you ever had. You rely on strength and dumb luck.” Everyone laughed.

“Only one way to settle this.” Tony said pointing to the door off the kitchen.

Steve rubbed your shoulders and took a very condescending tone, “Baby, you don’t want all of this.”

“That sounds like a challenge.” Sam teased

“It sure did” you said as you tied your hair back. Clint clapped his hands twice, “We have ourselves a fight, ladies and gentleman.”

Tony payed out some ground rules. “Ok. Classic take downs only. No hitting below the belt. And please, Y/N don’t mess up Cap’s pretty face huh?” Your face was serious. You squared off and crouched planning your first move.

“Come on, Y/N. Make a move.” You remained calm and quiet. You blocked out the chatter in the room and focused on Steve. He kept urging you to strike. He was trying to get in your head. Just like you and Okoye practiced, you pounced. You lead with your shoulder driving it into his abdomen catching him off guard. You dropped and swept his knee knocking him on his ass. He hit the mat hard and everyone cheered. In one swift movement you were on his chest pinning his shoulders to the mat.

“I underestimated you” Steve said out of breath “I won’t make that mistake again.” He took you to the ground and grabbed the neck of your shirt which is exactly what you wanted him to do. You fought hard to free one of your hands. He hadn’t even broken a sweat. You grabbed his left hand with your right hand, twisted and applied enough force to really hurt his wrist. You had him locked in place. His only option was to roll and throw you off which might really hurt you. He felt like that might be a dick move. Damn this hurts! He thought to himself. With that he tapped. You let him go and collapsed. Your heart raced and you coughed while trying to fill your lungs with air. He helped you up and patted your back “You ok?” You did not feel this was a deserved victory. “Yeah fine. You let me win.”

“I did not. You are a tough little cookie.” You elbowed him in the gut. “Don’t patronize me, Captain.”

Tony handed you a towel. High fives all around from the team. “You need a beer, kid?” Sam asked. “Like ten of them.” You went back into the kitchen. Clint and Rhodey recounted your fight praising your take down skills. Nat hung behind with Steve who was wiping down the mat.

“You ok, Cap?”

“Fine. Only thing hurting is my pride.”

“You deserved it you know.”

“Did I?”

“You called her a weakling in front of your friends. Lucky she’s not me. I would have stabbed you.”

Back in his room you were getting ready for bed. Nat and Clint promised to spar with you first thing. Since they are not enhanced in any way you felt like your skill set was fairly even. Steve sat on the bed untying his shoes. You passed in front of him silently going back and forth from your bag to the bathroom. He watched you thinking of what to say.

The next time you passed he grabbed your arm, “Would you look at me?”

“Nope. Let me go, please.” He loosened his grip still holding your hand.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make fun of you in front of everyone. I was only joking and didn’t think it would hurt your feelings.” You pulled your hand free and went back into the bathroom locking the door behind you.

He got into bed deciding to give you space. Once you washed your face you were able to calm down a little. You got into bed and laid on his chest. He hugged you close. “Where did I go wrong?” you played with the draw string on his shorts and finally said, “Back at my house when you offered to work on my aim with me.”

“Damn it. I knew it. And when I teased you in the kitchen I just made it ten times worse didn’t I?”

“Yep.”

“I really am sorry. Do you forgive me?” he said pouting. You rolled your eyes. “Do you think you’re cute?”

“I mean a little.” He flashed that heart stopping smile again and pulled you in for a kiss.

“Of course I forgive you.” You kissed him again.

“Hey. I was trying to tell you something last night and you fell asleep before I could finish.” He cleared his throat. You rested your head on your hand so you could see his face better. He looked nervous. He started again. “I was thinking about when we were apart how much I missed you. I thought that the only way I could miss someone that much is if I loved them. So...that’s what I wanted to say.” Your heart skipped a beat. “You wanted to say you love me?”

“Well yeah. I love you, Y/N. I didn’t know if it was possible to love someone this much but I do.” You climbed on top of him and kissed him deeply. His hands were on your back rubbing gently. You pulled away, “I love you too, Steve.” You spent the rest of the night showing him just how much.

#captain america x reader #steve rogers x reader #mcu smut #captain america smut #steve rogers fanfic #mcu x reader

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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um hello excuse me i just listened to that teenage dirtbag video and now i have no choice other than to ask you... what is up. that voice was lovely, the range the performer had when switching to the girl's role i?? hello??? so is this the uh... god um. dear evan hansen or the uhhhh oh my god sorry im typing as im thinking this is hell. the other one. be more chill? i have some friends into these things but never paid much attention but after that vid my inch rest is how do you say, Peaked.

it just hit me that the right word was actually 'piqued' rip me

hahahaha yeah i can tell you All About It.....see my origin story is that uh. fuckin uh right so i vaguely knew deh existed back when it was broadway-debuting at the end of 2016 and probably many of us were vaguely aware it existed, but then in the next summer (2017) i heard a cover of one of its songs and i was like “i can tell this is one of those songs that would be given way more context if i knew the plot” and by that point the wikipedia entry had a plot summary available and i got that context and even though he was fairly briefly mentioned, one of the side characters Piqued My Interest b/c i just knew like. aha that already feels like a character type i would rly latch on to. and this was in the back of my mind for a while and for like the next year i would intermittently check out another song or two or get a little bit more lore, but it wasn’t until like, fall 2018 i finally went “you know what, i am gonna dive in for Maximum Lore actually” and my motivation for doing this was cuz i wanted to find out all the info about The One Side Character lmfao, like, the “main plot” and “entire actual show” to me is just the Lore for him basically b/c that was truly my angle hahaha and my interest was further piqued b/c like i quickly went “oh so he’s secretly in love with the protagonist right, got it,” which like. was a latent vibe i got from that very first wikipedia plot summary readthrough tbh lmfao. and is True.

and then even after deciding to dig into the lore and confirming that Yes i love this character as i thought i would it took like another week or two before i ever like, Watched dear evan hansen lmfaooo and i’ve never stopped complaining about the show since ljdfs but not Not b/c the character isn’t as good as i thought (or b/c Nothing Else is good either, but. you know how it is. #canon 9_9 ) and then in the course of looking for More Content i was you know, looking at a variety of posts On Here and looking at some behind-the-scenes / bonus content type stuff on youtube and went “oh well hey the actor that plays that character i love is also a nice funny guy according to testimony and also that i like his vibe in these vids” and, fun fact as is the nature of live theatre (and it being like, oct / nov 2018 by then) he was not still the Current actor for said character but had, in fact, moved on to be more chill and Already Completed a late summer off-broadway run as the lead (and a bway run had been announced already, though im not Certain i remember the point / how i became aware of this lol).....which again, i too had Heard Of (and had once ages prior coincidentally leafed thru the book once and read a few excerpts but knew nothing abt anything beyond that).....but hilariously while i Knew he was in bmc thru some 101 research, i was like “okay i’ll move on to that in a sec” while focusing on deh for a while still b/c it was not until i happened to casually look up “okay so what does his character do in this show i’m completely unfamiliar with” that i went “oh fuck he’s the LEAD????!!!” lmaooo like i did Not realize this and that upped my urgency abt it

a very very broad description of bmc is that it’s a Fun Show coz it’s this teen scifi Magical Realism plotline classic musical comedy type of thing, a genre we all already know and love lol /j, and importantly, the music is fuckinggg Bops. very common “gateway drug” is This song. there’s an Original Broadway Cast Album all on youtube (and, somewhat confusingly im sure, an Original Cast Album, but that was an off-off-bway run, and i’m interested squarely in the off-bway and bway versions lmfao, so, and that is what one will get recommended from me (more updated versions of all the songs anyways)) and also, this is basically a tangential thought i had but circling back around to deh, My Guy (will roland as jared kleinman) does not actually get all that much singing material in the show (v different situation from be more chill) even in the song that features his character most heavily, but that song also happens to be the most fun song in deh and also a bop, and here’s an especially fun live performance to check out if u wanna, the other two dudes are not official cast members lmfao but still

and like, when all this deh-ing and enthusiastic bmc-ing (which i got into Just In Time to be following along with its broadway run, which was very fun to do) affirmed like boy i love this Actor’s Material for sure, i did a little digging into his nicher Credits, including, one fateful day in march, his tv credits, which meant i like stumbled across the fact he has this recurring role in Billions(tm) and that stumbling = immediately falling flat on my face b/c i Loved the content and we coincidentally got really into it Just In Time before the next season’s stuff started airing with him in it, and that was truly an Experience we’ve been having ever since. that’s it’s own insane tangent b/c this show is fucking Something Else but, jsyk, since i am talking about “billions” left and right and stuff, that’s the vague context for that. latched onto a character -> the actor -> the actor’s other stuff, and that [other stuff] is getting brought up around here a lot, especially billions.....we’re having fun and following our hearts with it lmao

i’m Not Great at finding a balance between “doing an elaborate lore dump when someone asks me ‘what’s X about?’ and i spend the next several hours just play by play walking them through the whole thing” and “trying to avoid doing that where i get Too In Depth and instead end up just overly glossing over it all and they’re like ‘that doesn’t give me any info :/’” but i Can and Will talk more in depth about any of this stuff b/c yeah........but between deh and bmc, i definitely like bmc more Overall and....in the specifics of it too.....and like the obcr way better......and uh Everything about it better lmfaooo but i also love the particular characters Jared and Alana, side character teens in deh, so im always about That as well..........but if u were like “hm which might i look into a little first,” i gotta say like, i like bmc better both as a matter of My Personal Taste and from a more critical standpoint of “what is the show meant to be / does it accomplish what it wants to” type stuff. even though deh is the critical darling lmfao go figure! *i* decide what’s good, actually, and as we all know, i’m correct and a genius. which, haha im joking, but i Am right and i Am not Not smart in ways lol

aaaaaaand yeah additionally like. can and will answer Any more particular questions about any of this shit b/c, it’s my shit, and you know how i roll

and p.s. glad you liked the Teenage Dirtbag it is such a good performance lol. naturally getting real into this one actor / singer’s shit means that there’s also stuff Outside [performing a particular role] which is still some sweet sweet content, such as other solo performances during a concert / cabaret stuff.....the lore is Very Rich and is V Good so it’s fun

#also glossed over which character type that i love that jared struck me as and it was just like #oh from these brief mentions of content alone i get the idea he doesn't have the most personable attitude and is trying to assert that he #doesn't care but gets super hurt when his friend ditches him and yeah i was exactly correct And More! beautiful. chefs kiss #We Are All [titular teenage dirtbag guy of the song going :o :o :o at will roland serenading us w the Girl In The Song's part]

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albatris · 4 years

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Hey hello I sent in an anon about starting tarot a while ago (I do not know when I know it was post quarantine starting but...time is wild) and i was wondering if you answered it? This isn't at all me trying to pressure you please please don't read it that way, i totally get it if you didn't! I just know that tumblr's search function is very broke and I'm scared I missed your answer, which would be sad. (I hope this doesn't sound like a bother it's genuinely all good if not I'm just checking!)

YES oh my gosh holy shit hello hi yes hi anon my dear I did in fact completely fucking forget to actually answer your original ask I am so sorry lmao

thank you for reminding me ajhdfgjhsdfg and again I’m so sorry it took me forever anyway I’m gonna just uhhhh look up your original ask real quick

OKAY so resources and starting decks! there are lots and lots of people who know more than me so I feel a little unqualified to answer this but I can tell you my thoughts?? but I definitely recommend looking into what other folks have to say on starting out, I’m sure there are lots of different opinions and ideas! :D

also sorry, it’s me you’re asking, so you’re not gonna get nice neat dot points and I’m not great at being concise, I’m just going to ramble if that’s ok, very sorry, very sorry

under the cut rambles

so........................

for learning meanings........ it’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of detail and a lot of different things to think about during readings, I’ve been learning tarot for around seven years on and off and I still don’t remember everything!

so IMO it’s best not to come at tarot with the intent to Learn Everything before you start! it’s the perfect thing to learn as you go! my advice would be to just kinda throw yourself in. when you first get a deck, go through the cards and vibe with them some and look at their meanings, but mostly just kinda contemplate them, don’t try to memorise everything at once. start doing readings, look stuff up as you go............. I would recommend keeping a journal where you document your readings............ which will help you with memory and picking up on patterns and connections....... uhhhh

I really like using apps as a companion as well! they can be a super good resource even if you don’t want to use them FOR readings necessarily

I use Galaxy Tarot as a convenient way to look up meanings and summaries of the cards when I just need to kinda jog my memory (though the descriptions aren’t super detailed), and it has a function where you can either do a reading with the app or you can do a reading yourself and then plug the cards you’ve drawn into the app, and it can help you with pointing out recurring themes and symbols and connections between the cards, which can be handy when you’re first starting out and maybe feel a little overwhelmed by the Amount Of Information you’re trying to take in

uhhhh another one I’ve used in the past is Labyrinthos Tarot, which is an app to help you learn and memorise the cards and their meanings., from what I can remember there are sorta, games and exercises to help with it, I forget exactly how it works since it’s been a while since I used it! but maybe that’s a good one to check out too?

I feel like apps is something i should’ve mentioned at the end but anyway moving on to the rest of it

most decks will come with a guidebook of some sort! so you’ve got the traditional rider waite tarot deck (which is probably the default deck most people think of when they think of tarot), and there are plenty of resources online such as Biddy Tarot which can give you a fairly detailed rundown of the card meanings! these meanings can be applied to variations of the rider waite cards, but lots of decks are a little wild and a little funky and are off doing their own thing while still following the basic rider waite structure, and if you receive a guidebook with a deck, that’s definitely an invaluable resource!! ‘cause it’ll give you the artist’s kinda interpretation and their meanings, their own personal touch, even if you then look up the card in more detail online

ALSO tarot is just a whole fuckin tonne about intuition as well though! so as much as it can feel like something where you need to focus on all the details and try and keep them all rigid and by-the-book, you might do a reading and feel yourself drawn in a certain different direction or just get a “feeling”, so you should definitely be open and flexible and listen to what your gut tells you as far as meanings go! plus, you will develop your own relationship to the cards and maybe draw your own personal meanings and associations! that’s definitely not something to fight against and don’t worry about whether that means you’re doing it “wrong” - you should listen to those feelings, those r important!! :D

lastly I will say, it can be helpful to have someone who is more experienced with tarot around who you feel you can ask for advice from or get second opinions from if there’s something you’re confused about! or who can give you tips and tricks from firsthand experience. like, it doesn’t have to be something you learn alone, and having a teacher or companion can be really helpful in terms of bouncing ideas and getting new perspectives! I throw this out there because I always forget to say things like this, ‘cause I forget that other people Are Not Me and other people like being around people lmao rip

and as far as starting decks go........... it really depends so much on what you want and what’s important to you! some people will say start with the traditional rider waite tarot, and if you decide to do that, you will certainly have a lot of resources at your disposal! it’s a valid place to start for sure

but there’s also SO many different decks out there with all sorts of themes and art and personality, and IMO......... I’d kinda urge you in the direction of choosing something you’re personally interested in and engaged with! it can make connecting with a deck easier and can help you stay interested and engaged during learning! but that’s just me

when I got my first deck the lady in the store kinda just took me to the collection of decks and just asked me which ones I vibed with and which one kinda called out to me or one I was drawn to, then she let me take a look at some of them and she showed me how to handle them and use them!! this was my first experience, n I was told just to go with what Feels Good And Right

n there’s so much cool art out there! and many interesting themes! you might not know which one you’ll latch onto until you see it, so take some time to look around and see what speaks to you c:

for instance, certain themes like cats or flowers, certain art styles, maybe certain series you’re into (I have two welcome to night vale decks n the raven’s prophecy by maggie stiefvater), or queer friendly decks! I have the Numinous Tarot which I ADORE, which is a deck with gorgeous artwork and extremely queer, all gender neutral language and lots of diverse designs, etc

so it depends what you’re into! take some time to feel it out, my friend

I would also like to throw out a mention to oracle decks as well! I actually started with oracle decks long before I used any tarot decks c:

I am................... very tired. and blanking on the best way to explain the difference between oracle and tarot decks, but you can look into this if you’re interested! lots of people use both or use them in conjunction with each other and there’s benefits to both n so on and so forth........

but in terms of Starting Out, and getting comfy with doing readings? they can also be really helpful in this regard! I found since oracle decks can have any number of cards and are less “structured” than tarot decks in a way, it can be really helpful as a way to get comfortable with things if you find, just, the Amount Of Detail that is involved in tarot decks overwhelming!!

it was something that helped me get the ~feel~ of doing readings and sensing with the cards and vibin and such, n get some practice drawing connections between cards and deriving meanings from the stories the cards present! but in a way that’s not quite as...... overwhelming?? as traditional tarot decks?? I was SUPER intimidated by just how extensive tarot decks were when I first started and I thought I’d never figure out what I was doing HAHAHA

but again, it’s just practice, I think!

where tarot will follow the same 78 cards and structure and is very traditional and I guess “rigid” is not exactly the right word?? but yeah?? oracle decks are a lot more flexible in what they represent and a lot more loose in the structures they can take

I do love oracle decks because of how varied they are!! each one is its own little system and its own unique universe and it’s really quite lovely, even if you aren’t into Actually Doing Readings with them, y’know?

but then, I find tarot decks the same way, what will all the different art styles and different people’s interpretations and renditions of the same story, like, it’s really fascinating!!

this has just turned into me rambling about how cool they are now

point is, do a little research into what sorts of decks and themes you might like to buy, when you get a chance I thoroughly recommend visiting a store so you can speak to someone who has some experience with tarot decks, they can help guide you when it comes to picking one and giving you some tips!! remember that it’s about intuition and following your gut as much as it is about memory and precision, so you should pick a deck that Feels Right

and uhhhhhhhhhhh

just kinda throw yourself in!! that’s literally my best advice!! you’re never gonna memorise everything beforehand (I’ve been learning on and off for seven years and I still often have to consult guidebooks and webpages) but you WILL absolutely learn as you go

it might feel very clumsy starting out, but as with any craft, you will improve with practice and begin to feel more comfy and confident with it as you go!

I hope this helped out some!! maybe!! possibly!!!!! ok goodnight!!!

#Anonymous #important caveat is that ive kinda just #been vibin on my own for most of my learning so i feel like #maybe there will be things i do that are not necessarily the ''right'' way or the common way or i might be #a little inexperienced and all #but i think it's also very personal and you'll find a way of doing things that works for u #in other words I Have No Idea If I Sound Like A Complete Dumbass when i talk about tarot #HAHAHAHA #anyway ok i hope this maybe gave you........ something...........? to work with #again i am so sorry i dont know how to be concise honestly i could have probably explained this in like #3 paragraphs #i can only hope u were aware of my rambling tendencies before u sent this and knew what u were in for lmaoo

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shin-so-sleepy · 4 years

Note

Hi, congrats on starting a writing blog, I wish you luck and hope you have fun! Could you do a little ficlet of someone making Momo feel insecure about her height but then her s/o defends her (and then Momo realizes how much she loves her s/o and cuddles/hugs/forehead kisses ensue)? Thank you so much!

2:42 am - how dare someone make momo feel insecure sis imma FITE... which is why the reader in this has a bit of a uh, temper. i don’t think this is quite as fluffy as you wanted but there’s some soft stuff sprinkled in there. side note, you can pry the hc of momo enjoying puns from my cold, dead, body

Momo Yaoyorozu

— you and momo had been recently let off the stress of hero internships, and decided to schedule a fun mall date to relax

— sometime during the trip, momo happened to notice the mall’s new boba store that had opened recently, and insisted you both try some of the flavors that they had to offer

momo tugged at your sleeve and looked towards the direction of the shop, “ah- y/n look, it’s the new gong cha! i hear they make amazing caramel bubble tea...” she turns back to you, eyes wide and hopeful, “would you like to stop by as well?”

— you smiled, amused at her excitement over a simple drink, and simply nodded in agreement,

“yeah, i could go for some boba! i’m curious about their flavors too” you pause, tilting your head in mock inquisition and continue in a teasing voice. “know what you’re getting already? sure seems like it”

— the 1-A student let a gracious blush fill her cheeks, which let you know she was growing slightly flustered at your playful poking,

“w-well yes, i may have done some research beforehand... erm, anyways, if you’re alright with it then let’s go inside!” and with that, she took your hand in hers and made her way to the shop

— among the few customers there was a group of younger boys ( junior high, if you had to take a guess ) huddled at a table in the corner snorting with laughter

— you glanced at the group briefly, noticing their volume, but thought nothing more of it and allowed momo to lead you towards the cashier

the woman at the cash register smiled as you two approached, “hello! welcome to gong cha, how may i help you?”

— you observed the overhead menu as momo cleared her throat to order, hmmm do i want a boba or a milk foam... oo but a slushie sounds good... should i get a matcha? wait is that too basic- actually no i don’t care, i’ll get a matcha

— with that ( rehearsed in your head to make sure you don’t flub your words ), you finalize your order, pay, and opt to stand to the side with momo to wait as the woman prepares your drinks

— while you both stand patiently and talk in the meantime, you can’t help but overhear part of the conversation from the group of boys in the back,

“hey hey hey shut up or they’ll hear you, dude!!”

“bruh they’re not even paying attention. answer the question, is the tall one a solid 10 or what?”

“...nah, she’s not my type. too tall, it’s weird and would probably be like dating a giraffe, honestly.”

— your eyes widen, clamping your mouth shut and immediately searching momo’s face for any sign that she overheard them. your face falls once you recognize the signs of self-doubt slowly creeping into her festures. she gives you a small smile and tries to shake her head to assure you everything’s alright but you aren’t having it

without a second thought about causing a scene ( the shop was almost empty save for a few customers near the back ) you whip around and face the boys,

“seriously, kid? how immature do you have to be to judge someone by their height? what, does it make you feel like less of a man? it’s not like you were one to begin with so i don’t know why you’re complaining, honestly.” you emphasized the last word to mock their last comment, and fix them all a glare,

“she’s out of your league, buddy. turn around and enjoy your drink before i shove it up your-“

— momo hurriedly interrupts, waving one hand and taking yours with the other, giving it a squeeze as if to say “i got it from here, thanks”

“i think they get it! haha...” she starts, but trails off to give them a stern pointed look. “besides, we’ve seen firsthand that poorly-considered comments like those will cease to get anyone very far in life, especially in the hero industry.”

— the group was silent for a moment, processing her words and turning red at the insinuation towards their chances at becoming heroes. eventually, they collectively nodded and muttered their apologies, turning around with ears burning and metaphorical tails between their legs

— you both turn away, glad the situation didn’t escalate further, and you scoff, still clearly irritated by their comments. tch, arrogant middle schoolers... like what the hell? do they even have eyes? momo’s gorgeous!! i should’ve ripped that kid a new one i swear-

momo interrupted your thoughts by squeezing your hand again. you look up at her with a pout and she laughs lightly. “thank you for telling them off, dear. it was- well i guess you could say it was rather heroic of you...?” she giggles

— your irritation morphs into exasperation and you groan, “momoooooo that was baaaad”

“your smile tells me otherwise though, hm?”

“i’m smiling ‘cause you’re cute, not because the pun was enjoyable, duh. which, it was not by the way” you sigh. “but seriously though, are you okay? they were just being dumb kids, your height makes you charming and like, seem more commanding and stuff...” now it’s your turn to blush at how stupid you sounded

— momo gives you a big, genuine smile that spreads warmth throughout your chest. it’s the one that never fails to get your heart all tingly and the butterflies in your stomach all excited, and you can’t help but grin back, as sappy as it sounds

— suddenly feeling a small surge of confidence, momo leans down to give you a soft peck on the forehead before standing straight again. “i’m fine! i promise. i have you to make sure of that, so don’t be too worried now!” she returns.

— as if a light bulb turns on above both your heads, you turn towards the counter to check on the progress of your orders and are relieved to find the cashier woman finally emerging with the drinks

“i’ve got uhhhh caramel boba and a matcha milk slush for momo?”

— you speak up, raising a hand, “that would be for us, thank you so much!” you and momo grab the drinks and some straws, walking out of the shop

“you’re welcome, have a nice day!” the cashier calls

— you both turn back to bid them a good day as well, and momo intertwines your fingers and heads off to the next store. for the rest of the date, you’re a bit more affectionate than usual, albeit, still keeping her bashfulness in mind as you supply your girlfriend a few pecks on the cheek whilst you attempt to help her browse for clothing items. momo, who usually shies away from pda, surprisingly allows you to continue without complaint. i don’t mind much today, she thinks, they deserve the extra love

#ayo tell me how im supposed to End a fic bc i had t r o u b l etrying to figure out a concluding sentence for this #sleepy hcs #a-side-of-fries #momo yaoyorozu x reader #momo yaoyorozu #bnha x reader #bnha #boku no hero academia

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lefaystrent · 5 years

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Everyone's talking about Virgil Angst but meanwhile I'm sitting here thinking about Roman because like?? Presumably he's on Broadway right? And to wake up finding you're a known broadway star has to be a dream come true even if it's jarring that suddenly finding yourself so much older. But like Roman has no memories of the years between hs and now. He wakes up, finds he's performing in a show that very day. bUT NOT ONLY THAT, it's a new show, one he's never heard of so he has no lines 1/?

no lyrics, noblocking memorized. And he's expected to perform. So a thespian's nightmareright there. Maybe for extra Angst points the understudy is out sick. Or hejust forces himself to perform, not wanting to disappoint or miss this"chance" to be on Broadway. Either way it doesn't go well and Romanis left with his spirits crushed and still completely lost as to how he endedup in the future. 2/2

Back to theFuture, part II

Fandom: Thomas Sanders,Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic LAMP

Word Count: 2620

Masterlist Link

_______________________

Roman wakes up with a pillow beingthrown at his face.

“Chop, chop! Time to go.”

Roman groans, “Is it time forschool already?”

The person laughs.

It’s then that Roman realizes thatit’s neither of his parents, nor one of his friends who would sometimes sleepover.

Roman sits up, shirtless but that’susual. What’s not usual is the man fixing his hair in the mirror of a largevanity table.

“Who are you?” Roman asks,instantly suspicious. He snatches up a hair brush that’s lying on the bedsidetable, wielding it like a sword. “Where am I? What do you want with me?”

The man meets his eyes in themirror, sees something funny, and rolls his eyes with a laugh. “Alright, Mr.Big Shot. Save the acting for the stage. We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurryup and get dressed. And Dot will have both of our asses if we’re late foropening night.”

Opening night?

Stage?

Cute guy?

Oh, this had to be a dream.

Roman was good at dreams.

“Very well then. Wouldn’t want todisappoint all of my adoring fans, would I darling?” Roman boasts, to which theguy snorts and tells him to hurry up again.

Roman slips away and finds thebathroom. He’s debating whether or not to snap his fingers and conjure up amagnificent outfit. That is, until he catches a glimpse of himself in themirror.

He screams like he’s in a horrormovie, which maybe he is.

“What—what’s wrong?” the no-nameguy from earlier yells, banging on the bathroom door but Roman had locked it.

“I’M OLD!!!”

He’s over thirty now, and to a guywho was just seventeen yesterday, that’s pretty old my dude.

Frantic, Roman throws open thebathroom door and demands, “What magic did you cast on me?”

“What?”

“My face! Look at it!” Roman screeches,looking into the mirror once again and rubbing at his face as if the signs ofaging would disappear. “I mean, I’m still gorgeous, BUT I’M OLD!!!”

The guy looks at him like he’scrazy, which maybe he is but wow, no need to judge. “Uhhhh, are you going througha mid-life crisis right now? Because can you do that later? When, ya know, wedon’t have somewhere to be?”

“I was just seventeen yesterday,”Roman tells his reflection mournfully.

“Okay, if this is the kind ofbaggage Roman Prince has, remind me not to sleep with him again.”

Roman chokes at that.

“E-excuse me? We did what?!”

“Just cut the crap already,” theguy grunts and leaves. “I’ll be waiting outside,” he calls before a door slamsclosed.

Roman is left alone with hisreflection.

He snaps his fingers, but nothinghappens.

He gives a grin anyway. “Just gottaget into the swing of things is all.”

Roman meets the guy outside. Hedoesn’t bother asking for his name, since it’s not important to the dreamanyway. And really, this isn’t unlike a lot of Roman’s other dreams. Waking upto a cute guy? Check. Performing in a Broadway musical? Check.

Being the headlining actor for saidBroadway musical?

Super big check.

They’re in the theater now, andRoman is smiling and greeting a bunch of people who seem to know him. He goesalong with whatever they’re saying. He runs into the director Dot that theno-name guy mentioned earlier. And somewhat confusingly, he finds his dressingroom. It’s amazing and wonderful and in such detail, and sitting on the chair bythe dressing table is the script they’re performing tonight. Roman picks it upwith a wide grin.

He nearly drops it.

He’s the headlining actor for aplay he’s never even heard of.

Okay. Okay, okay okay.

Roman is in his dressing room—HISDRESSING ROOM ON BROADWAY. This whole place is designed by him to work how hepleases. If he just looks away and looks back again it’ll change—

Nope, that didn’t work. He squintsdown at the font, hoping to place the title.

“A New Lease on Life.”

From a skim through it’s somethingabout a parasitic demon trapped in the body of a magically gifted human?Roman’s character is the parasite.

“I know musicals are weird, butwhat in the name of Julie Andrews,” Roman says to himself.

But this is a dream. It’s okay. Hecan just…get up on stage and have the time of his life!

That’s not how it happens though.They do last minute run throughs. Roman is not magically landing the lines.Hell, he doesn’t even know them! The director yells at him to stop messingaround, and Roman is honestly hurt and disoriented enough to start crying rightthen.

But this is supposed to be hisdream! He can’t cry. He’s a Broadway actor! He’s got this!

Remember when he said ‘he’s gotthis’?

Yeeaaah . . .

The evening is upon them, theaudience files in, and Roman is standing on stage with no clue as to what he’sdoing.

He skimmed the script earlier,curious because usually he couldn’t read things in his dreams. He says thelines he remembers, but he misses a cue, and then the actor who’s playing therole of the character he’s possessing hisses under their breath what his lineis. It’s appreciated, but Roman can’t hear it over the thundering roar in hisears. The audience is waiting for something incredible to happen and Roman . ..

Roman’s waiting too.

This isn’t one of Roman’s dreams.

This is a nightmare.

Roman is a deer caught in theheadlights. He’s sweating and breathing so loudly that surely the audience musthear it. The lights are too bright and he’s standing on the edge of the stagein the middle of what’s supposed to be this sinister monologue.

This isn’t working. He just needsto take a breath, take a step back, listen more carefully to his costar’s constanthissing, and maybe things will get back on track.

Roman’s leg buckles when he triesto move it. He’s too close to the edge of the stage. He thinks for a momentthat he can catch himself, but his palms are slick with sweat and he slipsright over. He lands on his back, the wind knocked out of him, and he doesn’tremember much after that.

He wakes up, not in his bedroom athome but in his Broadway dressing room. Someone’s there, someone that Romandoesn’t recognize.

“Sloan picked up where you leftoff,” she says. She’s looking at Roman with pity.

“Sloan?” he questions. In thedistance, he can hear the muffled noises of the show going on.

She looks pissed off now. “Youknow, your understudy? Maybe if your head wasn’t shoved up your ass all thetime, you’d remember the names of us little people.”

She storms out of the room.

Roman lets his head thump back downon the bench someone laid him on.

He could wallow in his misery. Hecould let this nightmare beat him down. He could curl up and have himself anice cry. Princes are made for bawls after all.

“Sorry, but this prince has toleave before midnight,” he says.

He hops up to his feet. His headhurts and there’s a painful twinge in his leg and arm from where he must havefallen on them. But he can still move. He has to.

Roman turns his back on Broadway togo search for answers.

As he’s walking down the sidewalk,he ignores the busy city life. He pulls out his phone, immediately searchingfor his emo sidekick’s number.

He doesn’t find it.

What he does find though areseveral missed calls from Patton.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” hequotes. He calls Patton up.

“Roman?!” Patton answers after thefirst ring.

“Hey Padré! I hope you’ve got sometime to chat because you will not believe where I am right now!”

Roman was all the way in New York.

That’s a little more than a carride from Florida.

Logan had known that Roman became aBroadway star. He’d even told Roman that he would one day become one, but thatwas back in high school when Roman was an upset seventeen-year-old and Loganwas an eleven-year-old kid who knew too much. The news might have given Romansome form of comfort when he was figuratively down, but he certainly hadn’tbelieved it as Logan foretelling the future.

When Logan woke up as twenty-nineagain—after the initial freaking out period—he decided to contact his friendsto test a hypothesis. He needed to encounter someone who he’d never been affiliatedwith before in his future time, people like Roman, Virgil, and Patton.

Roman was too far off however. Notto mention it’d prove difficult to request a celebrity’s time, one that wasn’tsupposed to know you.

And Logan did doubt that any ofthem knew him. He suspected that he hadn’t been pushed forward through time butreplaced back into his own time, a timeline separate from the past one he’dbeen in. Nothing in his house had changed, no signs of his friends. No texts orcontacts on his phone to match.

So Logan searched for the othertwo. Virgil proved to be all but nonexistent upon his initial online researching.Patton immediately garnered results.

“An advice columnist,” Logan hadsaid to himself, unable to smother down the smile that tugged up his lips.Patton had made quite a name for himself in northern Florida. He’d been hostedseveral times on talk shows and was working on promoting his second self-helpbook that had recently released.

Logan had set off to find Patton,and find him he did.

And Patton . . . Patton had rememberedhim.

And even though Logan felt trulysorry that this disorienting situation caused his friend a great deal ofdistress, he couldn’t help but feel a wash of relief knock into him at the factthat his friend was still his friend. That those memories weren’t worthless ora vivid dream.

And then, once they had workedthrough establishing the existence of time travel, Patton suggests that theothers might be in the same boat.

“What boat? We’re not in a boat.”

“Figure of speech, Lo,” Pattonsmiles a little, despite himself.

If he and Patton are here afterjumping through time, it’s not impossible that Roman and Virgil could be thesame.

“They might not be here,” Logansuggests, swallowing down a sharp feeling of disappointment. “Whatever happenedto us, they may not have been a part of it.”

“Or they might have,” Patton pushesstubbornly. He can see the same hope welling in him, the same selfish desire tonot be alone. “We’re always hanging out together. They might have . . . gottencaught up in it? Whatever it is.”

“. . . and you already tried callingRoman?”

Patton tries all day. Logan wandersthe house a lot, investigating what kind of person Patton grew up to be. It’s .. . interesting to say the least, seeing his friend who had previously been ateenager suddenly as a grown adult, older than himself at that. Logan pondersover whether Patton feels the same amount of puzzlement. Although, Patton doesn’tseem to be interested in much that requires moving from the couch.

Ever since Logan theorized them notbeing friends in this timeline, Patton has become lethargic. Logan is ill-preparedto deal with this kind of Patton.

That night, Logan hears Patton’sphone ring. Logan doesn’t pay it much mind. The phone had been ringing off andon ever since Patton had run away from work that morning. Logan continues to pokearound the kitchen, relishing his normal body and the height that allows him toeasily reach into the tall cabinets.

“Roman?!” Patton screams from theliving room.

Logan immediately abandons any notionof dinner.

“Did he call you?” Logan blurtsout, racing into the room. It’s an unnecessary question, because what elsecould have happened? Patton waves his hand at him to shush him.

“Where are you kiddo? Are you okay?”Patton asks. He clutches the phone to his ear with both hands as if he couldhold Roman there.

Impatient, Logan sits right besidePatton and leans in to eavesdrop.

“Where else would a star like me beother than Broadway?”

Yes, that’s Roman’s proud voicefiltering through.

“Broadway?” Patton repeats, lookingat Logan questioningly.

“He’s in New York,” Logan affirms.

“What is he doing there?” Pattonasks.

“Is someone else there?” Roman interrupts.“You’re talking to someone else when you have me on the phone?”

“Sorry, Ro. I was just talking to—um . . .”

“To?”

“To, um . . . Logan.”

“Oh, well tell that nerd that I’mon Broadway and I’m fabulous, even if I am old now.”

Patton and Logan share a look.

Logan pries the phone out of Patton’shold and puts it on speaker. “You remember who I am?”

“Who? Wait, who’s that?”

“That’s Logey, kiddo.”

“That doesn’t sound like the littletwerp I know. Wait, is he super old now too? Are we all old geezers? Man, thisis a really weird dream.”

“Yes, it’s me. Yes, we’re older,”Logan answers. At least Roman is understanding the situation they’ve beendropped in. “Roman, I need you to answer a couple of questions for me please.”

“If I’m older now, why do I have toput up with more study sessions from you?”

“This isn’t school-related, Roman.”

“Please, Ro. It’s important,”Patton urges.

“Fiiine, if you must.”

“Did you wake up today in anunfamiliar setting with no memory of how you got there?”

“Yeah? Nothing too unusual.”

“How—how is that not unusual foryou?”

“Happens all the time in dreams,duh. Use that big brain of yours, Jimmy Neutron—wait, you’re not a kid geniusanymore. I’m going to have to come up with new nicknames. Not to worry, I’mgreat at improvising!”

Great at ignoring reality as wellit seems.

“Um, Roman?” Patton prompts. “Whatdo you mean by dreams?”

“This isn’t a dream,” Loganpresses.

“What else could it be?” Romanlaughs, and it doesn’t matter that the sound is slightly distorted through thephone. Both Logan and Patton can tell that there’s something off about it.

“Roman, that’s not—” Patton starts,but Logan cuts him off.

“Roman, do you have Virgil’scontact saved perhaps?”

“No, I don’t actually. Weird,right? Oh, I know! He must be hidden away from us in a tall tower in amonster-filled forest. Never fear, we shall rescue our emo in distress!”

Patton bites his lip, staring atLogan. “He doesn’t have his number either? What does it mean, Logan?”

“It could mean that Virgil doesn’thave a phone,” Logan tries, but neither of them buys it.

“Virge . . .” Patton whispers, eyeswelling up.

Logan focuses back on the phone.Roman keeps asking if they’re still there. “Yes, we’re here. And that soundslike an excellent idea, Roman. Why don’t you meet up with us here in Floridaand we’ll brainstorm a plan of action in order to locate Virgil.”

“Can do!”

Later, after Logan has helped Romango over how to book a plane ticket (“No Roman, you can’t just teleport here.Think of this as a . . . side quest, like in the video games you like.”), heends the call and turns to Patton. Patton’s sitting there, arms wrapped aroundhis legs and face buried in his knees.

“We’ll find out what happened tohim,” Logan tells him.

Patton doesn’t respond.

_____________________________

General Tag list: @spectralheartt @a-pastel-pan @notalwaysthevillian @rose-gold-roman @ijustrealizedhowdumbmynamewas @katie-the-noble-fangirl @yourroyalydramaticanxiousness @aroundofapplesauce @merlybird500 @beach-fan @jemthebookworm @whats-going-on-kiddos @randomsandersides @gamerfreddie @unring-this-bell @analogicallythinking @lilygold23 @punsterterry @levy-the-b00kw0rm @tacohippy56900 @accio-hufflepuff-power1 @just-another-rainbowblog @georganabanana @grey-says-heck @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @thesynysterunknown @idont-know-what-im-doing @idioticsky @fadingglowcloud @whizzie72 @theinvisiblespoon @greyyy523 @opaque-puppet @just-fic-me-up @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @sos-fandoms @loganeatsbooks @trust-is-overrated @theitalianalchemist @im-crunchie @mourning--star @4amanxiety @hogwarts-my-love @enby-phoenix @justanotherpurplebutterfly @internet-or-sleep @absolutesandersidestrash @seaspider10 @nonasficcollection @small-words-to-say @satanblessi @an-absolute-failure @analogical-mess @noisyeggpizzapatrol @hamilsandersfam @cefinitely-rolo @thgjclw @knight-shives @no-no-no-no-6 @savingshae @rabbitsartcorner @buddypallady @midnight-tragedyy

Kid Logan AU list: @under-the-blue-moonlight @broadwaytheanimatedseries @joyful-milkshake-observation @absolutesandersidestrash @midnightmagi @justcallmepancake @nerd-in-space @thestrangedino @deathshadowrules @entitydark @vintage-squid @max-is-tired @deceitfullyanxiousprince @shai-uwu @teacupfulofstarshine @the5thcoy @occasionally-pauciloquent @oakskull @teepee-honesty @mrtacothethird @fandomobsessed-nerd @mychemicalcheezwhiz @that-smol-tired-gay @skittlesun @caterpiller-tea @sanders-sides-rebloger @penguinkool @its-the-cat-queen @liz-a-bell @theresneverenoughfandoms @i-know-im-smart @ever-after-aaa @007ardra @starbucks-remy @lovebug5151 @yyeeeeeeeeett @adoratato @theobsessor1 @soijusthavetoask @ab-artist @always-in-a-fandom @iris-sanders-athena @doing-my-demibest @connors-writing-sux @lizziepopanime @charakitcat @dall-off-weekes @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @sign-from-god-complex @pumpkinminette @cosmic-melodies @sullycreatesstuff @lovesupportandcookies @som3thing-cr3ativ3 @unicornlogansanders @rainysharkfreaklover @potato--justpotato @ghostscantdie @virgilneedsahug @thatonenerdphotographer @the-cactus-lord @cocobearthe4th @neverasherpoetry @midnight--fox @falsehoodx @crazy-rat-man @lokinas @rosiepupper @insert--self--hatred @dorkoverse @herestheanxietea @spirits-in-my-thoughts

#sanders sides #kid logan au #roman #roman sanders #patton #patton sanders #logan #logan sanders #virgil #virgil sanders #platonic lamp #back to the future #Anonymous

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tracle0 · 5 years

Text

22/11

I was tagged by @joyful-soul-collector (thank you this is possibly one of my favourite tag games) ... Okay also also before I could finish this up, @hyba also tagged me so uh it’s 22/11 instead, ty ty. You two might want to check the tag list cause uhhh you might be there who knows not me c:

The rules are: Answer the 11 (22 this time but hush) questions, make up your own 11 and then tag... I think it’s 11 people but I don’t know 11 people who I haven’t already tagged so...

I sort of started spamming pictures to answer a question so I’m gonna... put the pictures under the cut.

1. Have any of your OCs ever stolen something? What did they steal, and why? Oh yeah sure - the first one I can think of easily is Cain. He used to live on the streets so had to steal to survive. But he’d also work for money. He’s not heartless, just desperate.

Also now I’m thinking about it, Tag would definitely be the kind of guy to just... hey I know I’m meant to hand this gear in but... no-one will miss it so.... he steals to amuse himself with the gadgets he gets.

2. Did you ever have imaginary friends as a kid? What were they like? I copied my sister in having pretend animal friends, but not really. Who needs imaginary friends when you have real-life ones lol I was a lot more liked as a kid.

3. Do any of your OCs have a favorite article of clothing? Why is it their favorite?

Uhhhh

Um.

Yeah, you could say that.

Andy likes his hoodie because it’s a thing that is only his. He didn’t get it from Murdock, I honestly don’t know WHERE he got it from, but it’s his, and the fact he owns anything means a lot to him.

Cain likes his because it’s one of the few things left over from when he was younger and again, it’s his. He didn’t steal it. It belongs to Only Him. He feels comfortable in it.

4. What do you fist develop about a character when you make one up? Do you think of their appearance first? Their personality? Their backstory?

Honestly? It depends. Backstory always comes after, but personality and appearance often intersect. I know for WIP 3 I thought of personality and traits first, and for Collateral it was appearance first. I think for Sonder it was more.. their role in the story? ‘Oh hey this is the antagonist, this is the protagonist, this is the love interest wait I hate romance, okay, side kick’ etc

5. Fluff or Angst?

If it’s not romantic? Fluff. I made myself angsty enough when I was younger, I want more happiness in my life.

6. Remember the color of that dress that everyone was debating about however many years ago? The one that was blue and black, or white and gold? What colors did you see?

The correct colours.

7. Pick your bubbliest, happiest OC. Now tell me what will make them turn into your worst nightmare. I wanna see what makes them the angriest.

Oh boy, let’s see uhhh... Tag. Tag from WIP 3 who is undergoing the process of a name change.

Seeing someone he loves die would twist him. Being isolated would eventually break him. Being unable to do what he loves would definitely upset him also.

Also idk if you’ve heard about it but in his world, there’s a nifty ability called being a silvertongue and I know at least one silvertongue is not gonna exploit this but I also know of another who would even on this19-year-old kid so maybe it’s not by choice but that could make him a nightmare. Just sayin’

8. Now pick your angstiest, most emo OC. And tell me what would make them blush and giggle like an idiot. I wanna see what makes them the happiest.

Okay for this one it’s a tie I write a lot of angsty characters.

>Andy - seeing something just. Really funny. Oh did Sam just fall over in a ridiculous way? Fantastic. That’s actually how they first have a proper conversation. Sam falls over, he laughs, they talk.

>Cain - anything awesome that Duck does. Oh hey what’s up Goose oh you drew this radical picture? /tearing up/ it’s so great oh my gosh you’re so talented. That’s more being happy than giggling but can you see Cain giggling? No, me neither.

9. If you could have any mythical creature for a pet, what would it be?

Dragon, next question.

10. What’s your go-to thing for when you’re hungry but don’t have time/energy to cook something?

Fruit! It is! Very good! And tasty! Apples have a good cronch! Oranges are mmmm juicy. Banana? Yes nice thank you. Oh wow we have strawberries? What a sweet treat. Also healthy!

11. Do any of your OCs have scars? Would they be confident enough to show them in public (like at the beach)?

Oh yeah sure man. Andy’s got multiple from... ‘training’. He doesn't show them off. Cain, Duck and Theo have all been badly burnt on the arms, and Cain ‘’shows it off’’ just because it makes him uncomfortable to have his arms covered. And uh Raya probably has some sort of scar on her knees or elbow from rollerblading. Because you do fall over and it does scar.

And now for Hyba’s questions, lez go bois

1. What cultural value do you see in writing/reading/storytelling/etc.?

I think that without storytelling specifically, humans would be so... mundane? We’d be no different to any other animal on the planet. Creating anything, be that stories or art or literally anything is so... human. To take that away would be like taking away humanities soul. The cultural value isn’t really measurable - storytelling makes up the culture.

2. Do you try more to be original or to deliver to readers what they want?

Honestly, I have no idea. I try to entertain myself, and if other people like it too, then that’s neat. But because I’m writing for myself, I anticipate everything, so I don’t know if it’s original or not. I know it delivers what I want! But is that readers want? Who knows!

3. As a writer, what would you choose as your mascot/avatar/spirit animal?

Crow. Not even as a writer, just... dude crows are so damn cool.

4. What do you think most characterizes your writing?

I’m not quite sure about the phrasing so uhhhh represents? Google is telling me ‘describes’.

In which case, a midnight fever jolting you out of bed, moments before you could fall asleep, and puppeting you to a writing surface so you can splurge ideas onto it sounds about right. 66% of my WIPs have elements in them that were based on dreams.

5. How do you select the names of your characters?

Mostly? Spite. ‘Oh Trade, you can’t have a bad guy named Andy, all Andy’s are good’ NOPE NOT ANYMORE SUCK IT. I also have a friend who is really good at coming up with names that fit the exact mood of the character so I go to her a lot. Sometimes they’re puns.

6. Choose one of your OCs (or more). How would they want to be seen by others?

Sam from Sonder wants to be seen as someone people can talk to, but also someone who pursues a science because yes sociology is a science to her, shut up, don’t talk to me if you’re going to mention the words ‘paradigm’ or ‘objective’ thank you.

7. How do you find or make time to write? Are you consistent or do you write whenever you get the chance?

Hahahahahhahha.

In the past few months, I’ve not been writing because I’ve had exams. Before that, I wrote at every chance I had - being a student, I had a fair bit of free time during the day, so I’d use that to write. But for a while, it was a nothing on the ‘what has Trade written recently’ chart.

Going up again boiiis

8. What does literary success look like to you? Is it important for you as a writer?

Literary success? That’s... a very interesting question. I think I’d be satisfied and feel successful if one person told me that my book helped them through something.

Jokes on me, I’ve already had that, my books helped me, I have already succeeded, see you losers in hell.

Also fanart but uh who needs fanart when you draw enough for five armies?

9. Are there any scenes that you’ve had to edit out of your WIPs? Can you tell us about them if they don’t spoil the book?

YES oh lord yes okay so in Sonder, chapter 15, I decided around draft 2 that I wanted a scene where Atlas got drunk. I made up reasons for it, asked lots of friends about what it was like to be drunk (as I personally have never been drunk), attended parties to get first-hand research and did so much preparation.

Wrote the scene, was pleased with it, left it to fester. Two years and two drafts later (now), I’ve come back and realised oh hey that scene is utterly useless and de-rails the plot. Time to remove it I guess.

I rationalise it as ‘well you wrote it and you had fun but it’s not needed, move on’ and that works well for me.

10. Would you feel comfortable publishing or sharing your writing using your real name, or would you prefer a pseudonym?

Pseudonym 100%. As cool as it would be to be able to go ‘hey I wrote this’ to people, the terrifying ordeal of being known is horrific, and people being able to track all my past activity from when I was literally seven is my worst nightmare. I wouldn’t even tell family or friends if I could get away with it.

‘Hey [real name], there’s a book at Waterstones called Sonder? With the exact same characters, plot and writing style as you have? But it’s under [pseudonym]?’ ‘oh hey, really that’s wild. Anyway,’

11. When writing, do you try more to be original or do you prefer to deliver to readers what they want? Do you think that a book can do both? Which is more important to you as a writer?

Oh hey, this is like question two but MORE. Standing by my previous answer, I think a book can do both - people want a happy ending, usually, but you can always be original in how you do that. No two stories can be told in exactly the same way. And hey - even if people do guess what’s coming up, that’s good.

As a writer? It’s most important to entertain. I don’t try and catch people out, I just deliver the story I have in my head and then edit it mercilessly until I’m pleased.

Questions!

1) Design a mask for an OC to wear. Would it cover their whole face? Is it a mascarade mask? Is it fancy or simple? Bonus cool kid points if you draw it.

2) Which OCs like spicy food?

3) Which OCs can take care of a plant - an orchid, to be exact?

4) Do you tell stories in any other medium beyond writing? eg: art or roleplay or...?

5) Do you have any irl items that you have because ‘oh dude this is something that’d totally be in my story’? Can I see them?

6) What’s the first book you remember buying?

7) Do you have any weird collections of things? As an example, I have a skull collection and a collection of... what’s best described as doll body parts. Anything just... weird that you have a lot of? Can I see it?

8) Which OC gets distracted by watching birds and which OC is like ‘dude stop watching the birds we’ve got STUFF TO DO’

9) Have you ever met a published author? Who?

10) Are you a person who likes tea or are you a person who prefers coffee? If the latter - dude c’mon tea is so much better smh

11) Have you backed up your files recently? Do it now. Please, for the love of god, back up your files.

Tagging!

@hyba @joyful-soul-collector (dunno if I’m allowed to tag the people who tagged me but fukkit here’s some more questions you eggs) @kaatiba @albatris @timetravelingpigeon @note-katha (hi we have barely interacted but nice new username) @nymph-of-diana (on your main if you want, idm c:) @writing-and-nutmeg @futurity-writing @osteoprecocious and @thatfizzyyyy

Honestly, the fact I made it to 11 is - wowza. Uhhh if you don’t want to then don’t, if you do want to then PLEASE do and then tag me so I can see your answers, I’m curious.

Ciao.

#writing #am writing #my writing #writerblr #writeblr #tagged in #Wow this went on #but seriously this is possibly my favourite tag game #coming up with questions is hard but #hey piece of advice #put stuff you love into the questions #I like masks for example #so #questions about masks lezgo

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criticalrolo · 5 years

Note

30-40 w/ Cali!!!

oh ABSOLUTELY ily

Would your character have any hobbies?

I feel like she’d get SUPER into bullet journaling, since she’s already used to writing down EVERYTHING. Also, once she leaves the desert and goes anywhere that isn’t blazing hot all the time, she’s gonna be cold as fuck so she gets into knitting out of need lmao

What social media would your character use?

Probably twitter where she can just say something completely insane like “Just discovered ruins of ancient civilzation beneath a temple brb” with a blurry picture of herself and Dr. Sonrid in a tunnel that is too dark to even make out any detail and then not say anything again for a month

What does your character look like?

About 5′7, long red hair she keeps pulled into a braid, wears a lot of brown but never sleeves because sleeves are bullshit, kneepads since she’s always running and hitting the ground and being a Mess

In what ways is your character like you?

Both of us are fucking NERDS and have a tendency to like, get into one (1) thing and focus on it exclusively. We’re also both super gay

What is cliche about your character?

Snarky fire mage? We’ve seen it! I love it so much though

What is unique about your character?

She’s an Archeologist Dirt Wizard, and her main focus is on history with magic just being a tool for her to use to make studying history easier. And through backstory finagling I’ve ended up with a +13 to history and arcana checks. Nobody ever uses history checks. But this is the hill I’ve decided to die on.

Does anyone want to harm your character?

Yeah, she’s this random upstart who’s been making huge waves among history academics and basically getting way more data at great risk to her personal well being before anyone else can get their hands on it, and she’s literally chased/fought off treasure hunters going through ancient dig sites, so there’s at least two other professors who fucking hate her, and some criminal circles that have heard of her and hold grudges.

Do people have justified grudges against your character?

The other academics who have been researching shit forever before Caliope just waltzed in with Dr. Sonrid are probably at least a bit justified in not liking her. There are two professors in particular, Dr. Cadi Flint and Dr. Eurion Kemble that are uhhhh not her biggest fans.

What role does your character play in their story?

Caliope is more of a Doer than a Talker, and she generally gets the action going when other characters would like to stay and talk. Her general philosophy is “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” and “best way to disable traps is to spring them and hope for the best”, so that usually. gets some initiative rolled lmao

What would be your character’s niche on Tumblr?

She would be the one who makes those three thousand word posts going into extreme detail about some historical figure that no one has ever heard about before, complete with links and research etc.

What would be your character’s favorite school subject?

HISTORY BABEY

#caliope

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sometimesstorieshappen · 6 years

Text

Over/Under

Barian had been mopping the floor for approximately 12 minutes when he was interrupted. Not that he didn't welcome the interruption, for usually cleaning was a job he assigned to someone else, but nevertheless he found himself mildly annoyed as a man materialised in front of him with a muffled crack. He stepped back to avoid getting water on his immaculately white suit.

"Please. We have a front desk for a reason you know." Barian said as he waved the smell of sulphur away. He had often wondered why he wasn't used to it by now, as despite smelling it almost on a daily basis it still forced him to crinkle his nose.

"Uhhhh...."

"Desk. At the front. Big queue, you can't miss it." At the man's continued confusion Barian sighed and dropped his mop. "Alright then, I'll help you this time. But only this time." He practically dragged the man to his feet and set off towards the door.

"Who...who are you?" The man asked with a quivering voice. He was dressed in clothes that looked tattered and torn, as though he had been mauled by a bear, and next to Barian's gelled hair and white suit he looked even worse.

"I am Barian, general manager and secretary to Lucifer himself. And you are?"

"Leo. I don't – I don't have any titles."

Barian shrugged. "Doesn't matter too much down here." As they exited the room Leo was given a sight of what looked like the entrance to a bank, albeit a very, VERY large one. A line of desks stretched into the distance, far beyond the limit of Leo's eyesight, and in front of each one was a queue of between 100 and 250 people. Behind the desks was one long wall, punctuated by doors every so often, and it was from one of these doors that the pair had come out of. Barian looked at the queues and groaned.

"I forgot, there's a war going on at the moment. Tell you what, since I'd rather sort you out quickly I'll take you to the boss myself. If anyone asks then you waited in the queue. Got it?"

Leo had enough sense to nod. "But who is your boss?"

Barian stared. "You kidding me? I even told you his name already! Come on, you seriously never heard of – ah forget it. Come on." Barian pulled out a set of keys that jangled loudly, putting one in the door they had come out of. After some jiggling and muttered curses, the lock turned and the door opened. Except it was not the same room. Inside was what looked like a large ballroom, occupied by nothing but a desk with a computer on it. A man sat at the desk, studiously typing away, and there was another empty chair for visitors to sit on. Barian dragged Leo to the chair and sat him on it.

"Did you finish up in 37B Barian?" The man asked.

"Not yet, got interrupted. Queue jumper. I'll leave him with you." Barian turned on his heel and left, the sound of his jangling keys following him. The man typed for a few seconds longer before pushing the computer to the side and addressing Leo.

"Now then, my name is Lucifer. I hear you appear to have skipped the queues out there."

"I don't know how I got here, I just –"

"Alright alright, first things first. Let me find you on the system." Lucifer typed for a few seconds, and Leo took the opportunity to look at him. He was dressed simply, a plain black shirt and jeans, hair cut very short. No rings, necklaces, jewellery of any kind. Suddenly something clicked for Leo: Barian had mentioned the queues were due to war, and the boss was called Lucifer...

"Am I in hell?" Leo blurted out. Lucifer looked up at him.

"I should think that's a bit obvious. It's not exactly easy to arrive here accidentally. Though..." He frowned. "I can't find you on here. Now it could be a computer error but Belerus assures me that is not possible. So option two is that you are not meant to be here." Leo squirmed in his seat as warmth flushed through him.

"Am I... am I dead?"

"Well now that's an interesting question. The fact that you are here suggests yes, but if you're not on the system then you are not officially terminated." Leo felt warmth flush through him again, stronger this time, and little beads of sweat formed on his upper lip. "I believe the best thing to do is to give it some time, allow your representation to –"

With a crack and a smell of sulphur, Leo disappeared again. Lucifer frowned, and after a moment's contemplation pulled a mobile out of his back pocket and pressed a speed dial.

"Belerus? It's me. I need you to run something through the simulations for me. Yes, that one. Yes, I just want to check it. Okay. No, I'm not your chef, there's a snack machine in the corridor. You asked for the damn thing. Okay. Okay bye." Lucifer pocketed the phone, sighed, and returned to his computer.

Leo opened his eyes. Or rather, he opened one of them – the other had something in it. His right arm was held in a cage of twisted metal, the bicep pierced by what looked like part of a door. One of his legs was dangling in front of him, the joint twisted beyond normal angles. He was held in place by something that he recognised as a seat belt, the ends disappearing into the broken branches and car parts around him. There was a person crouched over him, beaming. Leo couldn't quite tell what was happy about this situation, but then he did not have the context. The defibrillators should have been a giveaway.

For 2 minutes and 13 seconds, Leo Brazikin had been clinically dead.

"Look, do you realise the implications of what you're asking me to do?" The doctor put his pen down, giving Leo his full attention. "You're not even off crutches, let alone healthy enough to undergo this sort of thing."

"2 months ago I died, Dr Massan. I died, and I saw where I was going. Now I want to go back, and this is the only way I know how." Leo shifted in the chair. It was an uncomfortable plastic one, and with his leg still in plaster it was proving impossible to find a good position. He sighed. "Look at me. They say the leg will never heal fully, the break was too severe. I'll have problems for the rest of my life."

"The fact that you even have a life is enough reason to reconsider. You have no idea how lucky you were to live. The fact they didn't amputate that leg is even more astonishing."

"It might as well have been amputated." Leo said with a frown. "I've looked everywhere, you're the only person who could undertake this. You've been researching clinical death for nearly 20 years."

"Yes, preventing it. Not causing it." Massan dragged a hand down his face. "This is clinical death, not clinical sleep, or clinical rest. Death. The risks in doing this are immense."

"With respect Doctor, it is not your place to decide what I can or cannot do with my life."

"With respect," Massan retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "I'm not just worried about you. Let's say something goes wrong. I'm left standing over a dead body that I personally killed. Manslaughter, 5 years minimum. And there's no way out, it's only your word that can save me, and it's not like I can drag that out of you when you're a slab of cold meat on the table. This is just as risky for you as it is for me!"

"Doctor, please. I... I don't have anywhere else to go." Leo looked down for a moment, gathering himself. Massan let the silence hang in the air for several seconds before breaking it.

"If we're going to attempt this we need rules."

Leo looked up in joy. "Oh thank you so –"

"Shush. Rules. Listen. First rule is that you write a will extenuating me should you die. Unfortunately that's pretty much going to be a signed suicide note, so you cannot show or discuss this with anyone."

"I'm single and my parents are long gone. Who would I talk to?"

"Alright. Second rule is length. No longer than 30 seconds."

Leo frowned. "Why?"

"The longer you're out the greater the risk of brain injury. 3 minutes is the cutoff point for full recovery, After that it's virtually guaranteed you'll wake up with some brain damage. The only way to extend that is through induced hypothermia and I don't want to risk any further complications. You've already been through a 2 minute death, doing another one is asking for trouble." Massan stood up, pushing his chair back and walking to the window.

"Anything else?"

"Last rule." Massan turned to face Leo. "You do everything I say. If I say jump you say how high. Most of the potential damage from this will be while you're conscious, and if I can't do the proper procedures then the chances of brain damage are very high. So Listen. To. Me." Massan smacked his hand on the windowsill to emphasise each word. "I'll need to prepare a room out of the way, plus get hold of some equipment. I'll message you the address and date.

Leo stood up. "Thank you Doctor. You have no idea what this means to me."

Massan sighed and turned back to the window. "No, I don't. I never do. I just do what I think is right. Don't prove me wrong. Now get out before I change my mind."

"Uhh. Hi God. It's me." Leo looked up. The stained glass window above him was supposed to depict some kind of religious scene, but he couldn't really tell what exactly. He didn't exactly live in the most opulent area, and so he reasoned that it was likely done a little cheaply. "So it's been a while huh? A few years I think. Okay a lot of years. I'm not good at this." Leo looked around. He was sitting on one of the front pews of the church, bathed in orange and yellow light from the window. Or he would have been if the weather wasn't cloudy.

"I don't know if I should kneel, or like, bow. Or do something besides sitting. Not sure if it even matters. You're probably ignoring me anyway. I would." Leo sighed. "So I'm here because, well, I guess you could call it an old habit. My mother used to bring me here, take me to confession. I would sit in a booth and tell some guy that I took a chocolate from the sweet cupboard at night, and he would tell me to say some prayer I don't remember, then everything would be fine. You were supposed to admit your sins or something. And that's what I'm here for. I want to get something off my chest." He paused for a second. "Am I crazy?" He waited for an answer. For a godly sign, a beam of light coming from the heavens. But there was nothing. "I died, then I lived, now I'm about to die again. Except this time I'm dragging someone else into it. If I die, he takes the blame. I feel...guilty. You know? Like he has to deal with me because I can't. I don't know if that counts as a sin or not, but it's worth admitting I think." For a moment the sun found a gap through the clouds, shining through the main window onto Leo. Had it been slightly earlier it could have looked like a godly sign, however now it just looked like the sun shining through a slightly crappy stained glass window. Leo looked at his phone again, at the single message from Dr Massan. He sighed and stood up as the light faded.

"Keep an eye out for me God. I know I've been a dick in the past but just this one time. I'll say however many prayers you want. I'll even go to church. I really will. Do this for me and I'll do something for you. I promise. For whatever that's worth." Leo stood up and made to leave, but he stopped for just a second. He gave as much time as he dared for an answer to materialise. But nothing came, and he carried on out of the church muttering to himself. "I'm asking a goddamn window if I'm crazy. Way to go Leo, good job. Gold star."

"Ah there you are. Come on, quickly." Massan led Leo down, down, into the basement of the building. After a few too many stairs for Leo's liking they arrived at the designated room. It was large but undecorated, with a cracked concrete floor and ventilation pipes snaking through the roof like worms; the sort of room you held kidnapped people in, Leo thought with a morbid smirk. In the middle was a hospital bed, with several other pieces of equipment surrounding it. Most were complicated looking medical machines that Leo did not recognise, all hooked up to an extension lead going to the corner of the room. One looked rather worryingly like a refrigerator.

"Oh ignore that." Massan noticed Leo staring at it. "It's an ice machine. We'll only need that if things go wrong. Lie down please."

Leo laid down on the bed, fully clothed, as Massan began attaching electrodes to various parts of his body.

"So you're not going to be in the same position as last time. Last time was full cardiac and respiratory cessation, due to shock and having a big hole in your lung." Massan finished attaching electrodes and turned to a machine behind him. Leo could hear the beep, beep, beep of his heart ticking away. The sound of his continued existence, spelled out in monotone notes. "I'm going to induce ventricular fibrillation using a large AC shock. I would tell you how big this shock will be, but to be honest I don't want to frighten you. Take off your shirt and spread this on your chest." Massan gave Leo what looked like a tub of hair gel.

"What's this for?"

"It's so you don't have defibrillator shaped scars on your chest. At this voltage these things will burn your skin without protection, and I don't have the equipment to deal with an infection here. Plus if you show up at a hospital with defibrillator burns they'll start asking questions, which is the last thing I need." Massan pulled out two paddles, rubbing them together as they charged. They made a faint high pitched whine as they did, and Leo eyed them nervously.

"Is this going to hurt?"

"I'm afraid so. I can't get hold of any decent painkillers without going through procedures and they would never approve this. Unless you want to start downing paracetamol now I suggest you don't think about it. It's a very short shock." Massan placed the paddles on Leo's chest, pulling out a stopwatch as he did so. "3, 2, 1, clear."

Leo looked up. The roof was far above him, which meant he was lying down. But he wasn't lying in the bed. Instead he was in a big room. Someone was looking down at him. Someone familiar.

"You again. Most perplexing." Lucifer shook his head. "Alright I'll bite. What do you want?"

"I want to understand." Leo said as he stood up, his legs shaky. His chest ached, a deep throbbing pain that reverberated through his body. "What is this place? How does it work? What happens?"

"I don't deal with the technical side of things down here. But I know someone who does." Lucifer walked towards the door, pulling out his keys as he did. After a quick fiddle with the lock the door opened to what looked like a laboratory, full of giant glass tubes and computer banks. A small man in a lab coat and sunglasses was busy at one of the machines.

"What now? I'm busy." The main said. His voice was nasally and thin, tinged with annoyance.

"Leo, this is Belerus. He's our chief of technology down here, and if anyone can tell you about how we work, it's him. Now don't bother me again unless it's important." Lucifer practically shoved Leo through the door and slammed it behind him. Belerus finished at his machine and turned around, grinning.

"I heard about you. Barian couldn't keep a secret if his lips were glued together. Although being asked to run some very specific simulations was a hint."

"What exactly is this place?"

"Really? That's the question you want to open with? I should think that was pretty obvious." He spread his arms. "Welcome to Hell. Purgatory. Shak'delar. The Cycle. Whatever you want to call it. Every culture has some inkling of what happens after death, and though the words change the intent is the same. This is where you go when you die."

"I thought there was a heaven as well as hell?" Leo frowned.

"Depends who you ask. As far as I know there's only one place after death, and that's here. Thing is what you're seeing is technically a communal mental representation of what you think this place looks like. Your subconscious is deciding everything for you." Belerus walked over to Leo, and as he did Leo realised just how small he was. The man was barely 4 feet tall, his lab coat tails dragging on the floor. His smile was greasy, a little too forced. "So right now your body is a subconscious mental projection of your self. Effectively you're walking around in your subconscious body. This place can therefore be treated as both heaven and hell in a sense. It's your subconscious that decides which one you see. You judge yourself guilty or innocent. It's quite beautiful actually."

Leo felt warmth flush through him and realised Massan was trying to bring him back. "What about you? Do you actually work here? What do you do?"

"Oh a bit of this, and a bit of that." Belerus pushed his sunglasses further up his nose. "That's not important though. I anticipate we're running out of time."

"What – how do you know?"

"You're not the first." Belerus said simply. "I'll explain later but I need more time to confirm. I need you to die for longer really. I don't have enough time to run any simulations on you. Come and see me again when you can stay for longer." Leo felt the warmth again, stronger, and he closed his eyes.

"Come on, stay with me. ShitShitShit!" Massan threw the set of paddles to the side and pulled out another pair, these ones hooked up to a car battery. He glanced at the clock. 51. 52. 53. "Come on you bastard, get back here! Come on!" He let the charge go, Leo's slight frame jumping as the electricity contracted his muscles. And then with a gasping breath he opened his eyes.

"I – urgh – ack" Leo tried to speak but found he couldn't.

"Quiet. Lie still." Massan began lumping ice onto the bed, covering Leo in it. Once done he pulled out a syringe, and after a quick inspection, promptly injected Leo in the neck with it.

"Urgh"

"What's your name?" At Leo's blank expression Massan sighed. "I need to know if there's any damage. Your speech will recover once blood circulates, cognitive function should be immediate. Name. Now."

"Leurgh"

"Close enough. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Fouurgh"

"Good." Massan sighed and collapsed into a nearby chair, wiping sweat off his forehead. "This is crazy. You're crazy. What the hell am I doing here performing the medical equivalent of mad science in the basement? That's it. No more. I'm done." The basement was quiet save for heavy breathing and the beeping of Leo's heart, still struggling onwards.

"No way. Not after last time."

"He told me I needed to die for longer."

"He could tell you to jump on one leg and sing songs for all I care!" Massan threw his hands up. "Who told you this anyway?"

"Belerus. He runs the technical side of things in the afterlife."

Massan tilted his head. "You know, at first I thought you were making this stuff up. But nobody is this exact with lies. You talk to me about the same things over and over, and you're almost convincing. But I just can't. I'm sorry, but last time was far too close. You were dead for 50 seconds, somehow you didn't suffer any major brain damage but god knows how."

Leo quietly wondered about that. His memory had been worse since he woke up, and he pondered if he really did avoid brain damage. Or if he would even notice it if it occurred. "Massan please. I'm begging you."

"You did that already, and It worked the first time. But no more." Massan sighed. "You have to understand how abhorrent this is to me. I took an oath, Leo. A code I've lived by for nearly 30 years. On top of that what you're asking me to do is something that I have been actively researching to prevent for 20 years. This is something I have dedicated my life against, and you're asking me to cause it. God knows why I even agreed to this in the first place, but it goes against everything I've lived and worked for. Please understand." He leaned back in his chair. "I don't have anything against you personally. I honestly hope you find someone else to help you in this, I really do. But it cannot be me anymore."

"I see." Leo slumped in his chair. Massan looked at him for a moment.

"Look I'll tell you what. You want purpose in this life? Let me give you something. I've got to clear all that stuff out of the basement later today, why don't you come help me with that? It'll take your mind off things."

Leo shrugged, but beneath the nonchalant exterior the gears of his mind were turning. "Guess I don't have anything else to do. What time?"

"7:30 exactly. There's a gap in the schedule that we have to hit. We'll have a 30 minute window, otherwise we'll be explaining why we're carrying hospital equipment to the next janitor. So be punctual." Massan turned to his computer, and Leo stood up to leave.

"Oh and Leo? Life is great. Trust me, I work at keeping it." Massan chuckled to himself.

"Yes. Yes it is." With that Leo left the room, crutches clicking as he walked.

Leo looked at his watch as he entered the basement. The equipment was all still there, the defirbillators, the hospital bed, unmade and covered in ice. It was odd to think that this was his deathbed, both metaphorically and literally. He brushed the ice off the bed, clicking on the machines as he did so. He wasn't sure what for but they felt necessary somehow. He couldn't find the electrodes however so instead of a steady repetitive beep the machine simply registered a flat monotone line. It was unsettling, as though he had already died. Another glance at his watch. 7:28. After a moment's searching he found the defibrillators, the cold metal heavy in his hands. A quick search found the switch to turn them on, hooked up to the extension lead, and Leo lay in the bed. He couldn't find the gel, so he simply left his shirt on. As the defibrillators charged with a faint whine he looked up at the roof, the fluorescent tube lighting illuminating the weathered ceiling, the silvery grey of ventilation pipes like jewellery on a scarred body. The earrings and tongue piercings of the building, Leo thought with a smirk. Funny what the mind jumps to when it's about to die. 7:29. Leo placed the defibrillators on his chest, and took a deep breath. Then another. Then another. He muttered "Clear." to nobody in particular. Then he pressed the button.

"How long was it between the sessions?"

"A day and a half, more or less." Leo thought back. "Why?"

"I need the data for the simulation. Come." Belerus beckoned Leo over to a large machine, typing some numbers on a small calculator he was holding. There was a screen at the bottom of the machine, and the scientist gave it a few meaningful taps. It began to show a complex mathematical formula, something Belerus evidently understood as he gave a few excited claps.

"And that is...."

"So time doesn't run parallel down here. At the point of death your mind speeds up, it works overtime to find a way to save you. As far as we can tell that overclocking of your brain carries over to down here, hence time runs faster down here than it does up there." Belerus waved his hands distractedly. "Well I say time runs faster, in fact that's a lie. You're just thinking faster. Time isn't a fixed linear progression, it's in a state of flux that varies depending on our perception of the world around us. You think that the passage of time influences your perception of the world, whereas it's the other way around. Your perception speeds up or slows down time."

"I don't get it." Leo was struggling to keep up, and Belerus sighed.

"Basically time runs faster here. The question was how much faster, and now I know." He gestured at the screen. "Taking your mental calculation speed as a base value time is exactly 12.67 seconds per second down here. For every second you spend up there, 12.67 seconds passes down here. Well I say exactly, it's pretty hard to calculate mindspeed but –"

"Wait, how long have we been here for?"

"About 20 minutes."

Leo's heart dropped. "Massan should be here by now. He should be trying to get me up. Where is he?"

"Massan?"

"Someone on the other side. A doctor. He's been getting me here. I.... I tricked him in order to come here this time." Leo looked up at the ceiling in hope.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to dodge a few questions. Some of my old colleagues work here and –" Massan stopped. He saw the bed. Leo asleep on it. The defibrillators half charged, dangling from the side. His formidable mind put the pieces of evidence together, sent the compiled report to his brain, and after digesting for a second it came to a conclusion.

"You didn't. No way. No bloody way." He ran over to the bed, but he knew in his heart that Leo wasn't just asleep. "You stupid, selfish, son of a-" He picked up the defibrillators left on the bed but they were still charging, useless to him. The backup pair were hooked up, and he pulled them out. The ECG was still registering no heartbeat, the electrodes dangling uselessly, and the tone mocked him as he pulled up the paddles. Without even hesitating he fired them. Compression. Wait. Discharge. Compression. Wait. Discharge. Compression. It wasn't working.

"Come on you bastard, come on. I'm not going to jail for you. Not like this. No way." He charged the paddles again.

"What are you waiting for?" Belerus had a notepad out and a pen poised and ready.

"It feels warm when he shocks me, like a hot flush. He should have arrived a minute ago. I should feel something, anything. But I don't." He noticed Belerus was scribbling furiously. "Will you stop that? This is serious!"

Belerus' phone rang, and he held up a finger at Leo as he pulled it out. After a moment's nodding, and a few affirmatives, he ended the call and turned to him.

"That was the boss, he rang to say you're officially turned up on the system." He held his hands apart. "Congratulations. You've officially died."

Massan leant back. The last charge had only produced meagre sparks: he was out of juice. The extension lead was no longer connected. He was out of options. He looked at Leo lying peacefully on the bed, the result of his endeavours. For the first time in 22 years, Massan sat on the floor and, in between muffled curses, began to quietly cry.

"What do you mean I'm dead?"

"I'm not sure how you can misinterpret that sentence." Belerus tilted his head. "Besides, what is one world to another? You can be perfectly happy down here. I could even take you on as my assistant."

"I can't." Leo was panicking now. "I have to get back." He grabbed Belerus by the shoulders, practically shaking the man. "You have to help me, there must be a way. There has to be."

"Well, there is a way." Belerus frowned. "Come with me. Quietly." He led Leo through a small door, closing it behind him. In the room was what looked like a table, upright, with manacles on the corners. Various equipment surrounded it, some appearing to be medical in nature, others...less so, Leo thought with a dull flash of fear.

"What is this place?"

"Nothing you need concern yourself about. Hop in." He gestured to the table. Leo stood against it and Belerus closed the manacles around his wrists and ankles.

"What happens when you kill something that's already dead?" Belerus muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing. I must thank you really. I've wanted to try something like this for a while, and simulations are only so good. After a certain point more substantial evidence is required." Belerus turned away, and when he turned back he was holding what looked like a very large needle attached to a cable. "Don't worry about this, it'll hurt for only a moment. It looks scary but it's not that bad, I assure you. I have no other way of delivering the charge to your heart sadly."

"What?"

"I'm going to kill you." Belerus said with a grin. "I don't know if this will work or not, but we shall see. Are you ready?" Leo nodded. "Alright then. On the count of three. One. Two." Belerus plunged the needle into his chest and Leo's world flashed white.

Massan jumped. The last vestiges of electricity leaving Leo's body had caused it to jump. For just a second he thought it had made a noise. He looked at Leo intently for a few seconds, but the body was as still as a...well, as a corpse, Massan thought with a mirthless smile. He turned away again.

"Wait what was that? I need longer! That was no time at all!"

"I can't." Belerus threw the needle down, the cable clattering on the floor. "What did you see?"

"I saw... there. The real word. But only for a second." Leo looked down at his chest, at the hole the needle had produced. It reminded him of a particularly nasty insect sting, not something that he would associate with a hole going towards his heart.

"The time difference. You saw it for about a 12th of a second if my calculations are accurate."

"I need longer."

"I told you I can't." Belerus frowned. "The body that you see here is a coalescence of your subconscious. I ran a large charge through it for about 2 minutes already, any longer and it'll start to dissipate."

"What do you mean dissipate?"

"It just... goes." Belerus waved his hands in the air, then grimaced. "Look I'm a scientist, I don't like admitting that I don't know something. Down here there are things that I know or things that I will know, nothing else. The coalescence just vanishes if you run too much charge through it, I think it just destabilises the brain, cauterises it somehow."

"How can you know? You've never done this before."

"I told you before. There were others." Belerus said darkly, scratching the back of his head. "I'm not a good person. But I tell the truth. And before you ask no, we can't go again. Your subconscious needs time to settle. Maybe a week or two." He walked over and unbuckled Leo from the table as he talked.

"A week!? I – woah." Upon trying to stand Leo found it difficult to even stay upright.

"You're just had a massive charge run through you for nearly 2 continuous minutes. Your subconscious will struggle to stay together for a while, so take it easy."

"I'm coming back. As soon as I can, I'm coming back. If I have to get a message up there a half second at a time then I will."

Belerus shrugged. "It's your call. Just do me a favour and get some rest in between."

"No guarantees."

Detective Inspector Marinetto looked around. This late nobody was in the station, which was perfect for his needs. In the room in front of him was the victim of case 1437. Cause of death apparently defibrillation, suspect apprehended and convicted of manslaughter. Though the times varied slightly, every 4 days the body would jerk and make a noise. His superior had ordered him to get rid of the body, but he was a detective at heart, and he couldn't leave a problem unsolved. So he had pulled some strings to get it and place it under surveillance. He had pieced together the recordings of each noise, and something was starting to become clear. After nearly 12 incidents he had the makings of what looked like a word.

"I'm." He muttered to himself. The body was saying something, and it began with I'm. I'm what? Alive? Here? Marinetto shivered. Eventually he would figure it out. He always did in the end. It was just a matter of time. He clicked his pen, shut his notebook, and without another sound left the station, leaving the body to wail its message into the waiting lens of the camera and the open arms of the dark night.

#but hear me out #what happens if you get reincarnated

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alexdontplaynogamez · 4 years

Text

Washington Check

Hello friends.

Welcome back.

Turns out people actually read this? I thought it was just my mom. Well actually, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know how Tumblr works.

“Alex but it’s just a website, what do you mean!? You click a link an you’re don”

I know, I know. I don’t have time to explain her relationship with the internet, that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to say that I finally left New Mexico!

I told everyone I was going to Portland (AND I DID) but I only really spent like a day there?

I ACTUALLY ended up spending the whole time in Washington 😂

TBH I’ve never really spent a lot of time even thinking about Washington. I don’t know if I could have pointed it out on a map for you before this. Don’t blame me, blame the American education system. I knew Seattle existed but not that Washington was the state that contained it? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?! 😁

Okay I’m done trashing Washington because it’s ACTUALLY a REALLY GREAT PLACE. It is BEEEAAAUUUTIIFFUUULLLL. Ya’ll, Washington, she is gorgeous, she is a QUEEN. 👑

But lets begin.

Pre Trip

I ended up driving up to the DFW to visit my old homies. I drove by my old apartments, the place that I used to work. PTSD much. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Shout out to my DFW peeps, you know who you are 💓🥰

This backpack would later break me emotionally

Day 1

Here’s a riddle. A flight leaves at 11:00 AM and arrives at 1:00 PM, the flight is 4 hours long. How is this possible?

Actually, not a riddle at all. Time zones.

Left DFW at 11 AM. Got to Portland at 1 PM. That’s it.

“Alex, oh my God, you’re so brave going to random places alone!”

Thank you!

Except that I wasn’t alone. I was with my fam. My brother and his wifey, now also my sissy. If you’re reading this. Hey queens 💓👑

Also, I promise I don’t call everyone “queens” It just stuck in the past month of my life 😂

BACK TO DAY 1

Get there, family reunion/meeting, got some food, first day of camping. Still in Portland.

P.S. I will only be able to shower 3 times in the next 7 days.

Queens in Oregon 👑

Campsite numero uno

Oregon hits different, let me tell y’all

Day 2

After a lot of driving around Oregon we realize. IT’S CLOSED.

“What’s closed?”

OREGON. Oregon is closed.

“It’s closed?”

Yes, Oregon is closed.

“What do you mean Or-”

It’s closed.ON TO SEATTLE!

We stop for some PHO. Then look for our next camping site.

We get to see some places before we leave.

Mt. Hood National Forest in Oregon. Look it up.

Con la sissy

Idk... they were weird

Most places we visited overlooked the Columbia River which separates Oregon and Washington.

Waterfall pics con el brother

“Yo perreo sola” - Bad Bunny

Day 3

STORY TIME.

About a year ago, I had a dream...

JK I’ll make it short 😂

I was supposed to go backpacking a year ago. I didn’t. The end.

Point of the story: IVE REALLY WANTED TO GO BACKPACKING FOR A LITTLE MORE THAN A YEAR NOW.

And here I was. Today is the day. We here.

It takes us about 2 hours to get a permit. We had to drive back down to a town where we could get some of that sweet 4G signal. Getting a permit is not hard but you have to know what you’re gonna do. Like the route you’re gonna take, which campgrounds you’ll be at, which days you’ll be at them. It’s not a crazy ask. But we did not know those things so it was just a little 🥱 YOU KNOW?

Whatever, we do all of that, then it’s time.

Uhm... I realize my pack is heavy. But it’s okay. The campsite we chose was only 4 miles away............

...

WE THOUGHT.

WE REALLY THOUGHT.

4 miles in. We get to a junction with a sign that says that our lake is 4 miles away.

I’m gonna simplify backpacking for a second. It’s walking with a heavy backpack through, at times, difficult terrain.

I think I broke at this point 😂

You see, I was tired at mile 2. I was ready for the great view at mile 4. Now I had to get over this mental hurdle that I had to walk 4 more miles

Ya’ll I’m an anxious person 😂 This did affect me.

AND IT GOT WORST. Turns out the next 4 (ACTUALLY 5) miles was a long winding, UPHILL path.

...

It took like 6 hours? 😭

How we started

How we ended

There was a point. At around 8pm. I was cold, EXHAUSTED, anxiety levels high, blood sugar low. We were stopping every 10 steps at this point. The only thing that gave me comfort was that my sissy is a nurse and my brother is in the army. They’d know how to revive me in the very probable case that I go into shock. Physical and mental shock 😂

Well... the lake was like 100 meters away. I didn’t know this when I was ready to die. Once I saw the lake. I was REVIVED! Only mentally, I was still ACTUALLY extremely physically exhausted. I couldn’t pitch my tent fast enough. Actually I could but I was SOOO tired. I did it as fast as I could with the little energy I had. Blowing up my sleeping pad took so much effort, made me a little dizzy. Quickly ate the delicious warm meal that was handed to me. Didn’t even give myself a camp shower, which I had down every day up to that point. Just put on my base layer, my pants, my jacket, my fluffy socks. DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO JOURNAL. Relax y’all it’s just a travel log. The traumatic events of the day were just too fresh and raw 😅 I needed some mental space 😂😂😂

But seriously 😥

Ahhh just joking 😂

Or am I? 🙄

You decide.

Flapjack Lakes @ Olympic National Park (AT NIGHT)

😋

Day 4

Slept 11 HOURS.

The days fly by after that traumatic day.

We hiked to a place called the Gladys Divide.

I had heard people say things like “It’s worth the hike” and thought that it was a strange thing to say. And it wasn’t until I saw the views that I really felt it. Ya’ll the views from this place are AMAZING. It’s not even that it’s such a great view. Everything is just SOOOO big. Kind of throws you into a mini existential crises.

Or maybe is was the shock of not having signal for more than 24 hours... Hmmm... Maybe that’s what that was.

I finally bathed... in a lake... does that count?

Did my laundry! Clothes did not dry...

“Gladys Divide 5000 ft”

Views

Selfies

Campground

Campground views (Flapjack Lakes in the DAYLIGHT)

Day 5

9 mile hike back. Tiring. Not as bad as the hike there.

Oh... I had realized on the way there that my shoes were too small. Every step of that 9 miles back was a reminder of that fact 😊

Did almost fall

Squad

Day 6

Another 8 mile hike!

We got to see Lake Serene and the Bridal Veil Falls!

What a difference it makes to not be hauling around a 30lb+ backpack 😁

Bridal Veil Falls

Lake Serene

Day 7

We spent most of this day in Seattle. No hiking this time. It’s kind of the wind down day. Our flights were the next day at 5am after all. Can’t get too wild. Best to be near the airport.

We tried to get matching tattoos!

Didn’t happen.

Decided to get different tattoos!

Didn’t happen either. Well except for David. He went through with it. Sry queen.

LOOK. Here’s what happened. The tattoo I chose turned out to be a well known prison gang tattoo?!?! I came up with an idea all on my own, I researched to see if it had any meaning... It was a PRISON TATTOO.

But I was gonna get it anyway 😂 HOWEVER, turns out tattoo places charge you a minimum of $80+ for anything you want to get. The place we went had a minimum of $100...

Uhhhh... Sir... All I wanted was 3 dots...

Needless to say... it didn’t happen.

We had a good last day. Good food. Good peeps. Good end to the trip :’)

RT if you cry.

THE END

That was it. I never knew how cool Washington was. Definitely deserves some hype. If y’all ever get the chance I would highly recommend! 10/10

Side Note:

Apparently you can pay people to carry your stuff on backpacking trips...

...

Yeah... consider that.

Alex out!

Fam 💖

#washington #olympic national park #olympic #backpacking #camping #gladysdivide

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scoutshonor56 · 4 years

Text

COP NATION

“Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do…”

As I’ve watched our country being torn apart these last three weeks, I’ve been tempted to voice an opinion, but I thought I would let things simmer and roil a while before setting my thoughts to words – see how events evolved. What has become obvious is that what we have are two separate issues, albeit both intrinsically woven together, joined at the waist: Racism, and what America calls “law and order”; specifically, those who are tasked to uphold this social contract, the police. Those sworn to protect and serve.

Well, like America’s fixation with guns, I have also written about race many times – so many times that I’ve given up writing about either years ago; there is simply nothing more to be said, nor has anything significantly changed. So instead, I’m going to put out there some observations and insights about law enforcement here in America. I draw upon mainly two sources: Last Monday’s (June 8) John Oliver show, and a recent post in the social platform, Medium: Confessions of a Former Bastard Cop.

A quick addendum about the Medium piece: some may question it’s validity and alleged source, as is wise today – there is a huge, digital quagmire of untruths and bullshit floating around the mass communications world, where anyone is free to write anything and instantly put it out there. I myself am a stickler for checking sources and facts before voicing an opinion. That being said, I choose not to waste time digging and poking around on this one for the simple reason that it’s irrelevant; in my 64 years I’ve seen it all happen – a lot. From the war protests and race riots of the 60’s, to the beating and drowning of Joe Campos Torres by the Houston police my first year down here (‘77), to the fatal shooting of Dennis Tuttle and Rhogena Nicholas during a “no knock” botched drug raid January 18th of last year - yes, just like the one that lead to the death of EMT worker, Breonna Taylor, of Kentucky, who was shot eight times, in her home, just last March 13.

Also, a lot of the material touched on in this ex-cop confession is mirrored in the Oliver show. For instance, you might ask yourself, “Is there really such a thing as a ‘killologist’ who regularly trains our police force?”

Why yes little Sarah, there is indeed, and you can see him on the Oliver show!

I encourage you to read the post in Medium (it’s lengthy, but if anything, at least read the closing suggestions) and watch the Oliver show, and then ask yourself: Why does America far and away lead the civilized world in police use of firearms, death by firearms, and imprisonment of its citizens? What are we, as a society, doing wrong or differently?

How did a simple case of an Atlanta black man, Rayshard Brooks, inebriated and asleep at a Wendy’s drive thru, result in his shooting death just days ago? By the way officer Rolfe, bravo sir, bravo! Job well done – so how does it feel to take a human life, shooting him twice in the back for the offense of being drunk and resisting arrest? Hey, here’s a crazy thought, a wild reimagining: Considering America is now a tinderbox just waiting for a spark over policing methods, how do you think this would have played out if you and your partner, after finding Mr. Brooks too inebriated to drive, said “You know anyone you could call to take you home? You can park your car right over there, come pick it up in the morning…”

The days of dismissing these incidents as “a few bad apples” are long gone; thanks to today’s technology, everyday citizens (not to mention the ubiquitous security cameras that are everywhere) now have the power to record with a handheld phone; anywhere, anytime, and it has become increasingly obvious that no, the problem runs deeper - right to the core of police culture and training. A culture that recently got Tulsa Police Department Maj. Travis Yates in hot water when during a recent podcast he said that systemic racism “just doesn’t exist”, and further suggested research shows the police are shooting African Americans “24% less than we probably ought to be.”

Uhhhh - wow…

Maybe it’s time to look at this nationwide problem from a totally different perspective; maybe we continue to put Band-Aids and cosmetic patches on something that needs to be addressed before the bleeding even starts. The cause, and not the symptoms.

Yet, once again we assuredly will see some tepid policy changes, banning chokeholds, mandated race relations seminars, increased accountability and monitoring, policy reviews, blah, blah, blah – as we’ve seen it all before, for decades (Hey, remember Rodney King?), and in the end nothing changes. If these methods were effective, why are these incidents only increasing in frequency? I join the many who have seen enough; who feel America needs to erase the board and start this equation over, or this bloody ugliness will continue, and only get worse. For an expansion on this, read an excellent recent editorial written by Mariame Kaba, featured in the NY Times.

Unfortunately, the Dems have come up with a reasonable start, but decided to call the initiative “Defunding the Police”. Really? That’s the best you can do? Something that anyone could easily interpret as “let’s starve the cops financially!” Until what – they die on the vine?

No. But let’s take a look at what this financial restructuring really means, and start with the fact that the police force militia (which it has now become) is amply funded. This is because every politician, be they a Democrat or Republican, loves running on a “law and order” platform – it’s an easy grab line. Who doesn’t support law and order in our society? And if it means the police want something from a military garage sale, like a Humvee, an assault vehicle, military grade ordinance and all kinds of fun urban warfare toys? No problem!

Jeez, why does America accept this as necessary? Because our culture, out TV shows, our movies, are saturated with the fairytale myth of “they’re out there everywhere, the ‘bad guys’, and the only thing protecting the sheep from the wolves are the police!” We glorify and promote the idea of our security and protection depends on a steely-eyed squad who are not afraid to use a gun; from the days of the old west, to organized crime during prohibition, to Nixon in 1971 making drug abuse “public enemy #1”, declaring war on the scourge of violent drug dealers that overtook our streets and enslaved our children!

Which, I might add, has proven a laughable failure by any and all standards, and has cost the U.S. over a TRILLION dollars since 1971, while glutting our jails to overflowing with non-violent offenders and ruining countless families.

Watch a cop show (or movie) and see how long it takes before the guns come out to finalize justice, to provide closure and a happy ending. Justice ends with the scum bleeding out on the sidewalk. “COPS”!? Are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t even know it was still on the air – 31 years… Oh, we feel so safe and secure in our homes as we watch the shirtless rabble led off in handcuffs to the squad car!

Who watches a show filled with actual arrests for entertainment?

Meanwhile, let’s leave fantasy land and take a look at the real world: Did you know the vast majority of police action is what they call “reactive”? Meaning responding to noise complaints, issuing parking and traffic citations, dealing with the homeless, domestic disputes, and other noncriminal, societal issues. Most cops make one felony arrest a year – one. And here lies the nut of the problem: armed police being called out mostly to deal with issues such as these.

Things that should, and could, be handled by trained professionals in these fields, not some cop who got 1,000 hours of training at the academy, little of it having to do with these issues. And I say this in defense of the police, and this is what “defunding” really means. They shouldn’t have to deal with these problems, and most are ill equipped to do so – they’re cops! If all you have is a hammer (club and gun), and you were trained to be a carpenter, everything gets treated like a nail. This is ridiculous that our police are expected to wear so many hats and are so over extended. Free them up to deal with actual criminal issues. If one of the other scenarios turns violent or threatening, then call the police.

Why does America find this concept so alien – so non-applicable here in the USA? What, are our citizens somehow different than in the rest of the world?

Bottom line, these are problems that exist because of the anemic funding in areas such as education, housing, and our shameful, for profit healthcare system that leaves millions uninsured and one medical emergency away from bankruptcy. The positively obscene gap of income inequality that grows ever larger. The false promises of politicians. America is increasingly angry and frustrated with a government that is structured to favor the rich. So yes, let’s try diverting some of police funding and instead put it into social programs involved with education, housing, mental health, etc. These areas and the lack of funding are the seed, and then the root of most of society’s ills today – and yes, that often grow into crime and violence. Often these are people that we’ve let fall thru the cracks, who didn’t get the same chance, the same opportunities; and who need a little help.

Pay the police a better wage, attract and demand a more educated and diverse pool of applicants, and free them up to do what they are ideally supposed to do – PROTECT AND SERVE THE COMMUNITY. They shouldn’t be seen as our enemy, nor should we be theirs.

“You have to dominate, if you don’t dominate you’re wasting your time – you’re going to look like a bunch of jerks…You have to put them in jail for ten years and you’ll never see this stuff again.”

- Trump addressing governors during a video conference call, June 1

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