#and suddenly everyone is VERY JUDGEY | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spider-jaysart · 11 months

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My friend @theredheaded-stuff showed me this panel of Damian carrying this giant sword around and then I just came up with this whole scenario lol😂

Damian just walking into the Justice League base with Bruce, while carrying his giant sword around like in the picture above, just shocking everyone in there with it

Clark: Bruce???? You just let him carry that around with him?????

Bruce: Well, it's what he wanted, so I said it was fine with me

Hal: ARE YOU SERIOUS???? JUST LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING!! HOW DOES HE CARRY IT AROUND WITH SUCH TINY ARMS????!!!

Damian, points sword at hal: DON'T CALL MY ARMS TINY!!!

Barry: DON'T HURT HIM!!!!

Oliver: ....Now I can see why my son Connor was begging me to let him get a giant sword last week. Good thing I said no to him CAUSE THAT WOULD JUST BE CRAZY JUST LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW!

Bruce: Hey! Don't tell me how to raise my kids!

Oliver: WHERE DOES HE EVEN PUT THAT THING WHEN HE'S TIRED OF HOLDING IT OR WHILE DOING SOMETHING???? IN HIS BACK POCKET????!!!

Bruce: You know what? Yes he does, CAUSE I BUILTED ONE FOR HIM! AND IT'S CALLED THE BAT POCKET!! And maybe if you would get your son a giant sword too, than maybe he would feel just as cool as my son right now, because just using arrows to fight crime is nothing new and it's just boring!!!!

Oliver: Take that back right now

Diana, suddenly walking into the room: (GASP!) OH MY! WHAT IS HE HOLDING????

Bruce, with his arms crossed in annoyance: A sword. Are you gonna start giving me some judgey comments about my parenting skills too?

Diana: Absolutely not! I believe it is one of the best choices for being used as weapons!! Let me see! (Runs over to Damian to get a better look)

Diana, examining it: Oh, it is just very marvoules!

Damian: Thank you

Diana: You've made the right choice setting him up with such a wonderfully and beautifully crafted sword that would protect him very well in combat! It is even big enough to destroy dangerous beasts during battle as well!

Bruce: Why thank you (looks at the rest of the League with a smirk)

Everyone else: ????

(Both Damian and Diana bond over their love for swords after this)

Damian showing it to Jon during a fight on patrol in Metropolis:

Jon: OMG! What is that?!

Damian: It's a sword, Corncob (=_=)

Jon: Well, yeah, I can see that for sure, I'm just wondering about how are you even carrying it???? And where did you get it from???!

Damian: Simple! I'm just that strong enough to carry it! And it was gifted to me! Now watch this!

(swings sword at a random tree behind him, making it fall on top of an incoming giant Lexcorp robot as he turns around to face Jon with a confident proud smile)

Jon, jaw dropped: (GASP!).... I'VE GOTTA ASK MY DAD TO GET ME ONE TOO!!!!

Damian: You should

Later:

Bruce, calling Clark: Clark? My son said that he left his Twizzelr pack at your house during a sleepover

Clark: What? Which one?

Bruce: We'll, he only brought one with him. They were specificly the red cherry Twizzelr's that he had with him-

Clark: No, I mean which son?

Bruce: The older one

Clark: Dick?

Bruce: No

Clark: You don't mean Jason than, do you?

Bruce: Of course not, I'm talking about my smaller one

Clark: Damian????

Bruce: No! Tim! How could you not know???? He was having a sleepover with Conner yesterday, remember????

Clark: I-....Ugh, It's just that I'm having a hard time focussing today since Jon keeps begging me and Lois to get him a sword after seeing Damian with it and I keep telling him no

Bruce: Get it for him

Clark: Absolutely not! He could hurt himself with it

Bruce: You and your son are both invulnerable, Clark, so I think he'll be just fine

Clark: I'm not getting him a sword!

Meanwhile with Jon:

Jon, flopping onto his bed with annoyance, talking to Damian on his phone: Aughhh! Damian, you wont believe it! My Mom and Dad won't let me get a sword! They say it's too dangerous!

Damian: -tt- Nonsense! It is a perfectly fine weapon to use in combat as long as you have enough training with it!

Jon: I know! It would just be so cool if I could have one! But they think that I won't be able to actually use it properly! Hmph!

Damian: Well, that stinks

Jon: Totally!

Damian:

Jon:

Damian:

Jon: Is it okay if I could maybe try out yours-

Damian: No, you're not touching my sword

Jon: :(

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mzminola · 1 year

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I know probably sometimes ‘normal’ got used in interviews because people unfortunately think normal = relatable but no, no those only sometimes overlap, and Tim is not the normal Robin, he is the designed to be maximally RELATABLE Robin. Like yes, all Robins are audience stand-ins, but with Tim it was extra on-purpose and they just kept throwing spaghetti at the wall.

Having two working parents. Worrying they’re going to get divorced! Grieving one dead parent. Having a parent dealing with an injury/illness. Feeling like your parents don’t really know you! Having your dad get a girlfriend out of the blue (from your perspective). Getting a stepparent.

“Parents run a large company that puts you in an upper tax bracket” is not widely relatable, but “parents are both working and very busy” is. So is “parents are their own bosses” for readers whose parents are self-employed. The money levels let the writers and illustrators throw in whatever they thought was cool with the kids at the time without it raising questions.

Then Drake Industries goes under, so we have the relatable issues of family finances suddenly changing, having to move, a parent being unemployed & depressed about it, losing things you took for granted (we’ll miss you Redbird), becoming aware of money in ways you weren’t before (hello counting costs of Bat gear), the sheer fucking relief when your parent takes those first steps out of a depressive spiral.

Tim goes to private boarding schools and public day schools and is the New Kid over and over and over. They move from the city to the suburbs to another state and back. His classmates & girlfriends keep getting After School Specials plots. His longest running civilian friend gets a part time job and then cancer. He can’t stay awake in class and constantly struggles to balance all of this commitments.

Tim plays the in-universe equivalent of Dungeons & Dragons, and gets ideas for dealing with Rogues from it. He introduces Alfred to videogames and watches TV Alfred is judgey about down in the Cave in his Robin gear. Bicycles and skateboards, gets his license early for the plot convenience but still has to take mass transit for his first date.

Complains about being mistaken for being younger than he is, about not getting taken seriously, gets saddled with burdens no one his age should and frequently feels like he’s in over his head.

Became Robin because he saw his hero stuggling and wanted to help. Sticks with it for the personal connections he makes, for the sense of accomplishment and adventure, and because he wants to help everyone. Gets super excited about meeting other heroes and teaming up. It’s not normal to be a caped vigilante, but all of those reasons he has for it sure are relatable.

Tim struggles to figure out that he’s queer, is nervous about trying for happiness, deals with coming out to family and friends (and none of that is a neat & tidy one-and-done, it’s ongoing like it is in life).

Tim isn’t "the normal Robin” because that’s not really an actual functionally definable thing to be, and no single character can be universally relatable, but by g*d they have thrown so much relatability spaghetti at the wall here and so much of it sticks.

#DC #Tim Drake #Robin 1993 #Robin #Batfam #comics meta #I honestly think the relatability paired with adventure angle is why Batgirl 2000 also works so well #Tim is Robin and fights Rogues and solves mysteries and also struggles in school and with his dad #Cass is Batgirl and never loses a fight and struggles with communication and experiences she's previously missed out on #Cass's story is more focused in scope than Tim's

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scourgethewhorehog · 1 year

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... no serious though how do you have a comic with so much daddy issues and never touch on generational trauma and the disconnect between pre and post war knothole? its very reflective of the people behind it, sure, and i dont mean that in a judgey way- i understand that many experiences in my life have made my view of it very different than the average audience/writer and that like me trying not to put it in a way that sounds too much like "we live in a society" but like, ill take that risk to say that so much of sonics asshole moments can be explained by the inability to cope w/ everyone suddenly having parents! a government that isnt just Evil where the situation is more complex bc its his girlfriend/ex gf but still best friends dad who is still doing fucked up things but he cant just go beserk and not just that, giving into their expectations. sallys father is DIFFICULT. he does many fucked up and questionable things that tbh even the narrative doesnt condemn sufficently for my liking. he tries to segregate roboticized mobians, he tries to suppress a democracy, that mind you, was proposed PEACEFULLY.

sonic being kind of a dick and a brat can be easily explained by the fact that he was living in the woods with his lost boys and everything was as simple as beating robotniks ass and now suddenly hes being thrust into a political landscape that hes right in the middle of because his childhood friend had to be the fucking princess! and his whole world has changed drastically, everyone is very happy about it too! its suppose to be a good thing but years of his life his problems were different. and then you add on the fact he missed an ENTIRE YEAR of his friends existing and is displaced and alienated because of this, he is a year behind everyone adjusting to the drastic changes, and THEN he deals with MORE bullshit. sonic is allowed to be a little fucking stupid and rude hes 15 and he thought the world was just going to be him and his friends as usual together for the rest of their lives and he cant even be upset it all got turned upside down because technically this means everything is okay now, except it isnt because theres new problems. this is also why the 25 years later plot pisses me off once again and im so glad its another universe because the idea that they just would repeat the whole cycle again, sonic would just become complacent with everything, and just kinda?? settled down??? his entire coping mechanism is being a war weapon and u think he just going to get married be king be okay with everything and be normal????

#archie sonic posting

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myrfing · 2 years

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Yeah! In the end WoLs are very personal to the players so I try to remember and not to be too judgey about it! And yeah there are some WoLs I really love as well! And my own was originally just a vague self insert with the name of an old OC and then they took a life of their own so I renamed them .. xD

Regarding wishing there was more freedom in choices in 14: I think that as an MMO there are just some limitations people just have to accept. The msq is linear for sure though I don't know if that's just because 1) it's Final Fantasy first and foremost, 2) it's a jrpg first and foremost (different game design philosophy between JP and US?) You certainly can't have multiple outcomes, I think, especially not with 14's infamous spaghetti coding. And the team already have so many tasks... (reason why I'm just rolling with the gender unlocking of certain glams being slow)

Though, I've never played an MMO prior to this, and most western RPGs don't interest me. So my lack of frame of reference is probably another reason why I can't really fathom choice freedom similar to, say, Dragon Age, in an MMO in general, esp not one as linear as 14 ... poyo.

(I could do with more fiddling around with GW2 tho, I do enjoy it whenever I boot it up for fun)

HAHAHA YOU AND I BOTH if it's. not obvious that "gourd appraiser" wasnt meant to be. well. youre so right suddenly theyre alive what can we do but give them the reins.

and for sure. I'm really mostly okay with xiv's linearity and rigidity; I think they wanted to tell a certain story and told it. I actually dunno if that's a western/eastern design philosophy and don't think choice/branching narratives is necessarily not a jrpg element but the concept of it with games like for sure DA or UT or even older text rpgs whatever have really popularized it here yeah. in xiv theres obviously some parts where im like He would naht do/say that. or some parts I wish weren't in the msq at all. but for the most part I'm glad things turned out the way they did and I've never struggled too hard to work with it. i think it'd sit wrong with me if the story went another way, if the wol like, just said I don't owe anyone anything and everyone shouldnt ask a thing of me and ran forever.

but that's mostly because I fell hook line and sinker for the world so when anyone in the story is like do you want to keep going and keep this world alive I'm like of fucking course AND it's going to be fun you don't even need to ASK bro. while for others I do understand the sort of disappointment that comes with thinking this could have gone another way that they would have liked better, but the devs chose this way, so they feel like they were robbed of that different outcome. and to me they chose this one because they wanted to tell a story about caring about others and finding hope in others and struggling together towards a better future in a world that is largely hostile to that, that constantly gravitates towards its doom, and I really like that. I like how it reflects in their own dev experience having to reboot the game too! but some people feels like it rings hollow, or they don't really care for that sort of thing, or this spirit just doesnt reach them, and well...wat can you do.

and you're definitely right in that mmos simply cant handle diversity of choice in a game meant to support..well..massively multiplayer online play. at most you get factions which are notoriously clunky and seem to only function in games without a strong central narrative. if 50% of the playerbase said fuck off to minfilia, fuck off hydaelyn, you can't tell me what to do, and went to live a low-stakes life then. that's 50% of the playerbase that needs something other than all the dungeons, trials, deliveries, sidequests, raids, pretty much fucking everything to do, that aren't gonna be a part of the roulette. and they wouldn't have been able to pull off the concept of azem's magic either, the weird living idea that as players of the same character you all walk the same path and thus are always at each other's side. or the funnier route would be well everyone who wanted to play gets the kino ass "shepherd to the stars in the dark" shit and everyone who didnt to play can just sit on their hands I guess.

but i dont think people actually expect it to have branching paths, they just wanted the devs to choose a different one. but there's so many good and fun things throughout the entirety of the game that it'd honestly feel pretty lonely to lose all of this over a nebulous refusal to owe anyone anything and be owed anything, because the wol does go through some painful stuff and has some high expectations placed on them...AS IFFFF everyone in the story doesnt suffer and struggle against the same things while the wol has the privilege of controlling more of their luck, AS IFFFFFFFFFF choosing a path where you say fuck everyone else wouldn't have been empty and boring. as if the antagonists that apparently care about us more don't have wishes and goals and duties and lives of their own and are only made to love you in some made up but easier, purer, assured way.

and oh hee hee gw2...I saw a golden chicken in that game and logged off forever I was like this is it. but I'm playing gw1 (slowly) with friends and while it's still campaigns it definitely does excel in that look at this big ass world go do what you want thing. and yeah mmos are fucking...expensive and terribly difficult to make and keep alive. there's a reason they're just dying out

#whenever people say they wished we could have sided with the ascians and brought on the total rejoining i think like...#what exactly remains in the wake of that decision that could be remotely worth it #some eternal sunshine of the spotless mind shit #new york walking dmv simulator #the game uninstalls and installs spore on your pc maybe

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allthemusic · 3 months

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Week ending: 10 February 1955

A most unusual week, with two of the same song charting at the same time in very similar positions. This is the kind of content you're just not going to get in the 21st century, for better or (for the sake of writing about them) for worse. Oh well, at least they look interesting...

The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane - The Ames Brothers (6)

Immediately I'm imagining all sorts of sauciness, merely based on that title. By which I mean, if our naughty lady isn't a prostitute, I'll be very disappointed.

Things start promising with a slightly tango-ish rhythm and some deep, slinky "boom boom boom boom boom boom boom" bits and all these dramatic guitar and brass licks. It sounds dangerous and slightly sexy, and definitely a bit disreptuable.

And then we learn that "The naughty lady of shady lane has hit the town like a bomb / The back fence gossip ain't been this good since Mabel ran off with Tom". It's a picture-perfect glimpse into a catty 1950s suburban word, where everyone pretends to disapprove while secretly enjoying the hottest gossip. Seriously, somehow referencing Mabel and Tom and gossiping over back fences just makes it so good!

Then we get a shift to a marimba (?) and a more major tone as we get the chorus, all about how the titular naughy lady "has the town in a whirl". It's enough to create interest and create a brief and vaguely calypso-esque vibe. And then we're back to the tango atmosphere for the verses, which all describe our lady in increasingly suggestive ways.

To my delight, she really does seem to be a prostitute, too! She has a whole string of visitors, we learn, and we are told that "She must be givin' them quite a thrill / The way they flock to her door". Worse, she's giving "come hither glances" to every Tom, Dick and Harry, and offered some liquid refreshment "the lady never says no".

It comes close to being a bit gross, in its judgey attitude, except for all that the song's narrator disapproves, it never quite outright condemns her. In fact, the overall impression I got at this point was essentially of our shady lady as a sit-com character. This whole song, in fact, could be the theme to a WandaVision-type classic sit-com with a twist, all about a modern, sexually emancipated woman who suddenly appears in a 1950s suburban world. It's all in good fun, you get the impression!

As such, our main character isn't so much a real person as an assemblage of tropes. She exists so you can make assumptions about her and slot her into pre-existing narratives. Seriously, a lot of the fun of this song is trying to figure out just what kind of story we're in. At first, she's a "overdramatic town floozy" kind of figure, then at times she's more of a "disruptive femme fatale", and finally, she's suggestsed to be more of a "hooker with a heart of gold". All stereotypes, and the fun's just in figuring out that "She just needs / Someone to change her". We're doing that story, guys, case closed...

Except - last line twist alert! - she's not a prostitute at all, and all this play was just that, play! The real clue is in the mention of "powder / And fancy lace" and in the double meaning of "Someone to change her". Because, drum roll please... our lady is "only nine days old"! Yeah, that's right, it's a song about everybody liking a baby! And so you become the dirty-minded one for thinking it's about anything else - honestly, what else could this be about?!

It makes the song scan entirely differently on a second listen, as you realise why she's "delectable to hold" and what kind of "liquid refreshment" she's probably consuming. But I maintain that it doesn't quite work, even then - there's just too many lines that don't quite scan as being about a baby. I don't find myself minding, much. But also, nobody is seriously playing the "haha, but we made it about a baby" game here. We all know what this song is about - and it's all the better for its brazenness.

The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane - Dean Martin (5)

To state the obvious: this is the exact same song as above. Fortunately, there are still some things to note about it, not least beacuse Dean's approach is considerably different to the Ames Brothers.

Immediately what jumps out is the backing singers' "papaya-paya" backing. Which was apparently a thing, as I've heard it in other songs, but it still just makes me think of the fruit, and not in a good way. It's distracting, to be honest, and it's not like the backing singers otherwise improve this version of the song. They don't have much to do, really - you could absolutely replace them with trumpets for the intro and the song would do just fine.

Getting past this, Dean's version also is a lot lighter, texturally. Part of this is the fact that there's only one of him, as opposed to four Ames Brothers. Still, you've also got a slightly thinner sound in the instruments, from the guitar and the other string instrument (no idea what it actually is), to the castanets and the faint plinking noises that replace the marimba sounds. It's a lot more Spanish-sounding, leaning on the tango aspects of the original and less on the more calypso elements. Which works just fine, no objections here, but it definitely gives a different feel. I also kind of miss the fullness you get from having multiple voices.

Apart from all that, the song really is the same song as above. I get less "sitcom theme" vibes, and the punchline feels a little more low-key, perhaps, but that could also just be because I know the joke. Hard to tell.

Well, those are the same song. I liked them, though I can see why they don't get much airtime nowadays. In fact, I think they probably suffer from the same issue that a lot of joke or novelty songs have, which is that they never work as well as the first time you heard them. This one has the "re-listen" bonus of spotting all the hints at our lady's age, but that's still only one or two more listens before you can safely consign this to a corner, where it will gather dust forever. A shame, because it is still quite fun!

Favourite song of the bunch: The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane - Ames Brothers' version.

#uk charts #1955 #the ames brothers #dean martin

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myhiraeth · 1 year

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@thenightmareofyourdrems con’t from [ here ]

˜”*°•. Only united could they survive , wasn’t it so ? Everyone responsible for something - food , fixing, thinking , sitting - . And perhaps if he’d cared for this team spirit even slightly , he would have tried to contribute . But thing was , he didn’t . And so , it’d been for a while now that he’d just sit there and observe her . The rope in her hands barely making it into a decent knot . And yet, she notices . The few glances she’s given to him scream that she’s noticed . Silence suddenly broken by her voice - and yet , he cannot help but respond with an innocent shrug . Almost as if his gaze hadn’t been entirely judgmental this very whole time . ❝ What ? Nope , nothing . ❞ Came the assurance - a teasing smile barely held back . ❝ It’s just that - I might’ve seen five-year-olds making a better knot than that . ❞

She could feel him watching her struggle with this stupid knot that she couldn’t ask Munroe to show her yet again. There’s a funny mixture of nervousness and playfulness when she can sense him watching her that leads her to sneak glances at him just to see if he still is sometimes. Despite the judgey look on his features, he doesn’t seem as eager to share his derision over her struggles as he is with others. Maybe that’s why she suddenly looks up, hoping to catch him watching her, smiling when she does.

Her words are playful- she doesn’t fear his sharp tongue the way the others do. Doesn’t treat him like the enforcer he is around camp or like a weapon with a hair trigger. She likes his sharpness, invites it in so she can smile in the face of his words.

Or so she had planned. At his insult, her jaw dropped, though the indignation on her face wasn’t reflected in the playfulness in her eyes. He wasn’t wrong, but she wasn’t going to admit it. “Oh yeah? Let’s see you do better.” She lilted back, tossing the admittedly pitiful knot to him.

#thenightmareofyourdrems #fox. / int. / john murphy. / thenightmareofyourdrems #fox. / verse. / t100 #(i should be sorry for the speedy reply but we both know i'm not lol)

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copperbadge · 3 years

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your portrayal of mpreg jesus is seriously laughable. you really think he would suddenly start developing seahorse mannerisms as early as in the first trimester? give me a break. everyone knows you're just projecting because youre a furry. can't wait to read the next chapter though! :)

Hey asshole, supporting the Mascot Hall of Fame doesn’t make me a furry, it just means I like sports mascots.

As for seahorse mannerisms in the first trimester, that’s a very classic trope and even if it weren’t, I refer you to Jesus Canon aka the Bible where it CLEARLY states “with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

And even if that weren’t the case, seahorse biology is pretty clear: if Jesus is capable of carrying a child seahorse-fashion, then he already has a brood pouch prepared and would be engaging in seahorse mannerisms prior to Mary Magdalene ever laying eggs in it.

So take your judgey “Jesus would never kin with seahorses” attitude and your fucked up definition of furries and fuck right off into the sun, which orbits around the earth the way GOD INTENDED.

(This is an ask that has been circulating Tumblr and I’ve seen it at least once before, so knowing it was a joke I thought I’d take it as a prompt and have a bit of fun with it. Mind you, I do love a mascot, but I am neither a Furry, a Christian, a follower of the New Testament, nor a writer of Jesus MPREG. Though if I were I think scripture would back me.)

#mpreg #religion #christianity #furries #nothing wrong with being a furry #this is at least way funnier than the elf pee ask that I keep getting #Anonymous

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mrskurono · 3 years

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a/n: Alright so I have baby feels (bc I’m ovulating, fucking hormones) and like all the kids I ever see are people giving the characters girls. Which, yeah its cute, but you know I want some hq headcanons with boys! So here we are me feeding myself content like a heathen :) tags: timeskip spoilers, fluff, parent!HQ characters, nothing that invovled its just kids headcanons, fem!reader involved character(s): Kageyama Tobio (hq), Hanamaki Takahiro (hq), Kindaichi Yuutarou (hq), Suna Rintarou (hq)

Kageyama Tobio + Two Boys

;| You know what’s funny, these boys were both 100% planned but Kageyama is that idiot that forgets each time you end up pregnant

;| “It’s positive???” “Love, you literally circled the ovulation day on the calendar so you could tell Fukuro you’d be late.” “Oh....That’s right.”

;| They both look like Mini Tobios™

;| He’s exceptionally proud of that in fact, dresses them up in volleyball gear constantly and makes sure each kid has a volleyball

;| Closer in age than he and his sister were. The oldest is about three when the other is born

;| They’re exceptionally close simply by the fact you both do everything with them if Kageyama is working

;| But conversely when he’s not training or working this man has his kids with him everywhere

;| Schweiden group actually loves these two (and you) Romeo adores kids as does Fukuro. Toshiro and Tatsuto are like the best weird uncles they could have. Kourai is just a larger child. And Ushijima keeps crayons in his work locker for the kids (and draws with them)

;| Work takes up a lot of time but in honor of his grandfather Kageyama stresses the importance of family a lot

;| Be default his kids really get along and love each other as well as kinda being momma boys

;| But Kageyama is whipped for you anyways so it would make sense both his sons listen to mom without hesitation

;| Often mistaken for twins even though ones older

;| Avid volleyball players as they grow up but Kageyama never pressures them to be as competitive as he was, constantly reminded of how bitter it was during middle school and high school to be alone, so Kageyama prioritizes fun before anything else

;| The oldest might follow in their father’s footsteps but both of them always keep interests in other faucets of life that Kageyama appreciates because he wants to see his kids happy how they want to be happy and not just because he’s a volleyball player

Hanamaki Takahiro + Three Boys

;| “Lets have another one.” “Well, what’s one more.”

;| Basically that’s how you end up with three kids

;| Makki adores kids and honestly he’s never had an issue with them and they listen to him really well (maybe it’s the deadpan stare)

;| One boy leads to another, then two lead to three, no you were never “trying” for a girl and honestly Makki is over the moon with three boys. Having had just sisters, he thinks it’s terrific

;| They’re close in age, like, 2, almost 4 and maybe 6, you guys wasted no time and really it paid off

;| All three of them are tight knit and at some point you had to worry if they were ever gonna make friends outside themselves (don’t worry they did)

;| While you might not have ended up with three mini Makki’s, they all three have “the stare” that sometimes you get all four of them sitting together and looking at you it feels like a judgement

;| Really they’re just looking at you but it’s hard when they look so unenthused and judgey

;| Makki is super involved (whether he’s working or a stay at home parent is up to you) Regardless he puts other dad’s to shame

;| This man adores each of them in their own way and never pushes the volleyball narrative on them

;| One or two of them might but none of them really make something of it. All of them though are incredibly smart and end up being Seijoh kids

;| Uncle Mattsun is their favorite because he has gross stories to tell but Uncle Iwa is a close second because apparently it’s genetic all three boys wanna beat him in something

;| Makki’s pissed because Iwa lets all three of them out do him in whatever sport it is they like

;| Makki is still trying to arm wrestle Iwa

;| All four of you men are incredibly soft and down to earth, Makki still makes time for you even with three kids and somehow makes you feel like the sexiest person alive

;| But no, a fourth kid is 200% off the table

Kindaichi Yuutarou + Two Boys

;| After Kindaichi gets through with his apprenticeship and is working, suddenly he’s found himself as a nervous first time parent

;| Not that it wasn’t planned, you both just stopped trying to prevent it

;| The first one was hard, neither of you will lie but Kindaichi’s dedication to mastering this baby stuff really sold you on another one when he asked if you son should have a sibling

;| A little bit more of an age gap, think four when the second is born, but honestly your first is as touchy and sensitive as their father so being a big brother comes naturally

;| Out of all three of them, Kindaichi’s kids end up the perfect blend of you both. Except the hair, both boys have widows peak and dark hair there was no avoiding it I’m sorry

;| Somehow having the second one was easier. Kindaichi kept them strapped to his chest or packed them around while big brother helped and suddenly you were way more free than the first time around

;| Both boys are incredibly smart and very personable

;| You joke that at least they didn’t inherit their father’s anxiety

;| Kindaichi finds this less funny

;| Both boys though are avid learners, great at making friends and enjoy volleyball

;| Yeah they end up Seijoh kids again and they’re like class 6 and up, they’re smart its scary

;| Thankfully as adults Kindaichi’s been able to reconnect with or stay connected with everyone so the boys have a huge support net

;| Uncle Kunimi swears up and down he doesn’t like kids, but somehow knows these boys so well that their birthday and Christmas presents are amazingly thoughtful.

;| The oldest actually ends up playing more professional volleyball while the other one either dips into another sport or works in the healthcare field

;| They’re both huge momma’s boy’s though and do not be surprised that they still ask for your advice and approval no matter how old they get

Suna Rintarou + One Boy

;| This little shit looks exactly like their father

;| Middle part, black hair, unenthused look, what the hell was the point of carrying him for ten months for him to look exactly like Suna

;| Who obviously thinks its the best thing on earth and gloats about his Mini Me more than he will admit

;| Suna excels in the weirdest parenting aspects

;| Physical touch and comfort? Amazing, can get his son to stop crying instantly. Remembering to do things like point at colors and say the names? Kinda forgets that

;| Another one who packs his kid around but opts for a carrier so his hands are free

;| Does workout with his kid attached to him, Suna ends up being an avid walker/hiker afterwards because it was low impact for you after childbirth and your kid loves the outside

;| Will never allow the twins within twenty feet of his offspring

;| Komori and Washio though? Oh yeah no shows his kid off constantly to those too

;| Gets asked when you’re gonna have another one by the way Suna is so over the moon with the first one

;| Inherits the knack for volleyball like their father has and Suna won’t lie he kinda enjoys it

;| Sets up a net outside and the both of them play a lot

;| Though he won’t admit it, Suna really appreciates Kita’s and Aran’s interest in his kid and feels a little proud when his old senpais tell him what an amazing kid he has

;| Suna always deflects it and says it’s only because it’s your kid

;| Deep down though he’s screaming because seeing his kid toss a ball to another Japanese Olyimic player melts his heart to no end

;| Maybe one more....maybe

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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“Sharky” *Part 2*

Don’t hate me because Barba is kind of a dick right now. We all know he’s not-- but we need the drama. <3

Part 1

Part 3

Tag List:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@dumauier

@wanniiieeee

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@aprildecker-blog

---------

“So he actually asked you to dinner?”

“Yeah, but it’s probably some weird tactic to get inside my head,”

“Is he cute?”

“Why does that matter?”

“Honey it always matters.”

Alright, so you had one friend. One best friend. One very best friend that you’d known since law school. But nobody needed to know that.

“....Yeah, I’d say he’s pretty attractive,” You finally admitted as you reheated your leftovers.

“Oh my God you’ve had sex dreams about this man haven’t you?!” He squealed.

“HOW do you do that?!” You stared at the phone in disbelief.

“It’s a gift,” He laughed. “I can hear the lust in your voice,”

“Whatever,” You grabbed a beer from the fridge.

“So what are you going to wear?”

“I don’t know, I’ll decide in the moment,” You sat down on your couch and started catching up on your shows with your food and beer.

“Oh no no no, you need to wear your silver dress with those platinum earrings I bought you for Christmas,”

“Seriously, Charles? Are you going to come over and do my hair and make up too?” You chuckled sarcastically as you shoved low mien in your face.

“Do you want me to?”

“I’m hanging up now,”

“Wait wait wait,” He pleaded and you listened.

“Be nice to him, honey,”

“I’m always nice,” You stated in an offended tone.

“You’re cordial. Be nice-- Smile, flirt. Have a good time,” You heard his sweet intentions through the phone; it was like he was actually being a caring best friend.

“You make it sound like a date,”

“Well that all depends if you fuck him after,” There he was.

“I’m really hanging up now,”

“Call me after!”

-----

You went with the silver dress and black pumps-- just because Charles had put the idea in your head, not because it was the outfit you looked best in. You stepped out of your Uber in front of the restaurant:

“Forlini’s” You read out loud. “...This place better not be expensive,”

You went inside and noticed Barba was already at the bar so you walked over to join him.

“Hey, Sharky!” His greeting caused an eye roll from you.

“Seriously can we drop the name? I’m a woman not a fish,” You took a bar stool next to him.

“...Well then you probably shouldn’t have worn that,” He nodded.

“Excuse me?”

“You look like a shark to me,” He gestured to your silver dress; it was tight on the top and kind of flowed down your legs, like a fish tail. You had never noticed it before, but him pointing it out made it suddenly glaringly obvious.

“Alright guppy, what are you drinking?” You smirked, slipping into the bar stool next to him.

“Guppy…” Now he rolled his eyes with a smile. “Scotch, neat,”

“I’ll have what he’s having, only stronger,” You instructed the bartender, causing an even bigger eye roll from Barba.

“You’re something else, you know that?”

“Thank you,” You beamed proudly.

The bartender returned with your drink; you noticed that he was very young and very good looking. You slipped him a $20 with a sly smile.

“Keep the change, handsome,” You gave him a wink. He looked between the two of you, confused as to why you’d be flirting shamelessly with him in front of Barba.

“We’re not together,” You said very loudly.

“Wow, don’t say it so eagerly,”

“Hey I might need some stress relief after this interrogation, I’m just covering my bases,” You smirked, still eyeing the bartender.

“Is that what you think this is?”

“What else is a first date if not an interrogation?” You suddenly realized what you had said and to your dismay you saw Barba caught it too.

“Ah so this IS a date,” He smirked.

“..I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant--” You stumbled over your words as Rafael just smiled at you in amusement.

“Just shut up and ask your questions, I know you have a list of them” You shook your head dismissively.

“Not a list…” He nodded to the bartender for another round. “Alright well why did you choose to be a defense attorney?”

“Money,” You replied without a pause.

“Money? Really?” He asked with a judgey tone.

“Hey you try growing up dirt poor and see how much you appreciate having money,” You snapped.

“I did, and I do; but it doesn’t run my life,” He shook his head disapprovingly.

“It doesn’t run my life,” You knocked back the rest of your scotch, ready for the new one.

“Really? Then tell me, how do you pick your cases?” He raised an eyebrow.

“My boss gives them to me,” You didn’t see the big deal.

“Uh huh and how does he order them?” He was making a point, you knew he was.

“...By the biggest paycheck for the firm,” You finally admitted.

“Uh huh,” He nodded smugly, sipping his new scotch.

“Look Barba I already told you this, defense lawyers are unfeeling monsters. What else do you want me to say?” You scoffed.

“Is that the only reason you became one?” He smirked at you.

“No, actually it’s not,” You replied as you sipped your own scotch.

“Really? Why else?” He raised his eyebrows curiously.

“Because any law student out of night school can defend a good guy,” You inched closer to his face.

“Defending a bad guy is a challenge,” You pulled back and noticed he was still smirking, and he added an approving nod.

“Fair enough,”

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I mean you make a good point,” He scanned you up and down. “Everybody loves a challenge,”

You felt yourself blush as his eyes ran over you, your own eyes surveying his entire body. You would never admit it to anyone, but you did always have a thing for the ADA-- not like “doodle hearts in your notebook” thing, but when he’d do his crosses in court you’d always stare at his perfect ass in those chinos and wonder what it would be like to take a bite out of it.

Some other days, particularly when he wore the black and pink suit, you’d imagine what it would be like to just shove him onto his little offensive desk and fuck him right there in the courtroom, with everyone watching. You were so lost in your own fantasies that you didn’t notice people approaching you--

“Rafa?” An all too familiar voice came from the side of the room. You turned to see Rafael’s rag tag bunch of misfit detectives staring at you.

“Olivia,” Rafael said softly like a kid caught out after curfew.

“So this is why you couldn’t come out with us, because you were taking HER out?” Olivia spat.

“Um excuse you, I’m taking HIM out,” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and put it on your knee.

“NOBODY is taking ANYBODY ‘out’,” Rafael snapped his hand back and gave you a dirty look.

“Liv it’s just a friendly dinner, and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to have this conversation,” He gave her those pathetic apologetic eyes, like a puppy who had just peed on the rug.

“Why do you care anyway, detective?” You asked innocently. You knew she had cream in her panties with his name on it, and you weren’t afraid to call her on it.

“Excuse me?” She scoffed with a laugh. “I care because he’s my best friend, and he doesn’t need to be manipulated by you,”

“Really? Me manipulating him?” You smirked and stood up off your bar stool and got real close to her face. “Then why did he ask me out?”

Olivia stared in horror at you, then Barba, then threw up her hands and stomped off. Carisi, Rollins and Fin all muttered goodbyes and dashed out behind her.

“Why would you do that?!” He looked like he wanted to go after her, but he was staying to have it out with you.

“Why would I--? Are you serious, Barba?!” You continued standing, now crossing your arms. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”

“What?” He looked confused but you weren’t buying it.

“You asked me here on purpose,” You narrowed your eyes.

“Well obviously it was on purpose--” He tried playing it off.

“No no, don’t be cute. You asked me here with an agenda,” You inched closer to him.

“What? Oh come on Sharky not everyone is you, with your ulterior motives--” He glanced around nervously.

“MY ulterior--?! You asked me here to make your little work wife jealous!” You were making a scene now, but you didn’t care.

“What? I most certainly did NOT--” He tried defending himself.

“Then why did you ask me to come to the same restaurant you knew they were going to be at? I mean if you didn’t ‘want’ to be caught. I know you’re not that stupid,”

“I forgot,” He muttered softly.

“You FORGOT? Do you really think I’m that stupid? I’m not Olivia,” You crossed your arms again.

“DON’T talk about her,” He growled.

“Oh my god are-- are you on something?!” You threw your hands up. “You clearly have a thing for that woman, and yet you asked me out to parade me in front of her, for why?” You threw your hands up in frustration.

“I didn’t ask you out for that Y/N, I swear--” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Then WHY did you ask me out?”

“I-I don’t know…” Now he turned those apologetic eyes on you, but you weren’t falling for it like his little detective.

“You’re fucking unbelievable, you know that?” Tears were forming in your throat against your wishes; you would not let this fucker see you have emotions.

“You know you offense lawyers, you sit up there on your moral high horses, judging all of us “bottom feeders”. But I would never fuck with anyone’s emotions or their heart, Barba. That’s just cruel,”

“I thought you didn’t have a heart,” He was still going for the quips, he had some balls you’d give him that.

“Oh so that’s what this was,” You sucked back the tears as you tried to laugh it off.

“You wanted to fuck with the big bad Sea Witch, see if she had a heart?” You really couldn’t believe he was this vindictive. This whole time you thought, maybe....well, you didn’t know what. But you were clearly mistaken.

“No, I’m sorry I was just--” He stood up and tried to put his hand on your shoulder but you jerked away.

“Well guess what, Barba? You win! You made the shark cry. Are you happy?” You couldn’t hold the tears anymore as you yelled.

“Y/N I’m sorry, I really am--” He tried going for your hand, but you slapped him across the face.

“Don’t follow me,” You warned him as you turned and stormed out of the restaurant.

How could you have been so wrong about him? Why did you even care?

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction

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jenniferstolzer · 3 years

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Babylon 5 rewatch Episode 2.22: The Fall of Night

Babylon 5 is at the center of not one but three conflicts as John Sheridan agrees to shelter a wounded Narn cruiser. The Centauri don’t like this. Earth doesn’t like this. The Shadows don’t like this. But Sheridan has a strong moral compass and what he doesn’t like is how much the institutions around him are willing to sacrifice in the name of forging some kind of cursory peace.

Things I liked about The Fall of Nighit

1, Lennier and Vir’s friendship. If you ask me Vir, could be friends with literally anyone. He’s such an understanding soul. Lennier is by nature a little judgey. More closed off. So when they sit down next to each other and discover how much they have in common both of them look at each other like “hello what” and automatically agree to meet again. But even this exchange is done almost like spies meeting and I don’t think we stop to think about that very often. These are the attaches of two ambassadors for two of the most powerful races in the galaxy… they could very well be exchanging state secrets instead of expressing solidarity for their equally frustrating jobs.

2, The Centauri are apparently willing to put their ships on autopilot and black out from g forces if it means when they come to they’ll be in a better firing position. This seems extremely reckless and VERY Centauri. It is the spacebattle equivalent of the hair. Big. Flashy. Not well thought through.

3, In the wake of the mass driver bombing, Sheridan gives Londo an opportunity to speak and Londo is like “NOPE” and jets before he says something that’s going to get him and his whole race in more trouble than they already are. Garibaldi then reads Londo like a literal book, delivering one of my favorite analyses of the character. Everyone thought Londo was a clown, indulging in opulence, going into debt at the casino, drinking himself to a stupor in public, but Garibaldi was his friend and knows that Londo’s not dumb, he’s actually very smart and his mind moves really fast. His error is in his judgment and priorities and he’s currently in waters he did not expect to tread. He’s scared, and he’s going to keep darting in and out of cover until he feels like he has a handle on things or he gets picked off by a hunter, whichever comes first. Also a very classic JMS line “He’s a pain in the butt, but he’s our pain in the butt.” Hunt for that or similar lines in other JMS stuff, he loves that line.

4, The ache of watching McCarthysim at work is very effective. Zach knows the guys he’s ratting on don’t deserve to be ratted on and even says so. “They’re just fooling around” but we can tell by the level of interest and tone of the Nightwatch captian’s voice that they’re gonna get blackballed. Zach can’t deny that they said what they said, but can tell that ratting them out is the wrong thing to do. In the end he relents with a bunch of qualifications but the Nightwatch doesn’t want qualifications. They want names. Thank you for your service.

5, I love that the guy there to ally with the Centauri is from the Ministry of Peace. So poignant. They’ll get peace all right, by paying off the aggressors.

6, When the Narn ship was coming under threat by the Centauri warship, Sheridan opened a line to Londo just to spit in his face and hang up. It was amazing. Also during this crisis, Sheridan whips out a law book to smack the Nightwatch guy back in his hole. Sinclair would be proud.

7, Watching B5 come under attack is so emotionally stirring. Even on a rewatch, I don’t want to see it hurt.

8, We have arrived! The scene where Kosh reveals himself. I love that G’Kar is hiding in the plants – like he’s not a huge gecko man who people are going to notice. I also love how plaintiff his voice is, thinking if he speaks on Sheridan’s behalf it’ll help him in the political shitshow he’s currently in. I mean he’s issuing this apology for helping a Narn ship and G’Kar is very very very grateful for that. Also B5 blew up a Centauri warship so he’s pretty grateful for that too, I mean come on… I like that B5 has like a standard subway system in the middle of it and that they let the Puppet Friends ride. I miss the puppet friends. I love that the rotational gravity system means there’s a weightless portion in the center of hydroponics and that we used that to our advantage in this story. Also the vorlons in their native form play on the perception of the lesser races. They are light beings, and humans see them as angels. The rest of the races see them as prophets or gods, but none of these perceptions are perfect. We see wings and white robes and think Angel, but Kosh didn’t appear like a rennaissance painting. He’s got a butterfly look to him, too. The face he wears is a facsimile of a human not an exact human. He’s not perfect, we’re just in awe. Love that.

9 And finally a lot has been said about why Londo doesn’t see anything when Kosh appears. He’s been touched by the Shadows, so he can’t be converted by the Vorlons b/c we’re playing a game of Othello today I guess. Maybe because he doesn’t actually believe in his pantheon of gods so he doesn’t have any deities to witness. Maybe he’s lying because what he saw was his own greed and vanity. The general consensus is the first – that he’s incapable of seeing the light because he’s in the dark. For a fresh take on it, let’s look at the Vorlons through this lens. Kosh said before that if he revealed himself everyone would know him… I take this as being a side effect of being Vorlon. Vorlons are a feeling not an image. Like Magenta. Magenta’s not a real color, it exists on the color wheel because something has to connect red and purple on the color spectrum… but the spectrum of visible light is actually a straight line. The wavelengths for red and purple are far from touching, but our brains can perceive when they’re both present, so Magenta occurs. It’s imaginary, but we see it for real with our eyes. That’s Vorlons. Perhaps Londo saw a shapeless light thing in the sky, perhaps that’s what Vorlons really are… or perhaps they have no visible representation at all until they hit our brains. Our eyeballs behold something, but our brains have to construct it out of pieces. When the rest of the galaxy looked at Kosh they used the color wheel to construct him, but Londo was only given the wavelengths. He saw nothing, because nothing was there to see. I really wish there was another Centauri there to be like “I saw the goddess Li welcoming me to her arms!” and Londo’s over there like “I’m the problem” instead of not really answering that question. Maybe it’s answered in season 3, I don’t know. Did Vir see anyone up there? He must have been on break.

What I like Less about 22

1, So here’s where I’m going to talk about Keffer. I know the origin story…. that he was an unwelcome addition to the cast added per network request, but who the hell is he other than that? I think its remarkable how he slips right out of my head the minute he is off camera. We know he’s a pilot, that he was close to Carlos (whose story/death you may recall I was laughing at in a previous episode because its significance ALSO came out of nowhere), and that he made friends with the GROPOS grunts (who we incidentally learned to care about enough in that one episode that we were sad when they died…. Awkward considering Keffer’s contribution to this episode…) Honestly the most interesting thing about him is that he’s got an old-timey fighter pilot scarf he wears and he believes in ghosts and I bet you all forgot about the ghosts. Honestly, the most interesting thing about Keffer is how he’s a lesson in how not to write an interesting character – and no shade on JMS for that, I know he did it on purpose. Significant things happening to a character does not automatically make them a strong character. Keffer experienced loss, came face to face with the shadows, got in fights… a lot of stuff happened to him, but he was almost always the only named character in those scenes. We cared about the GROPOS because they cared about each other and we responded to that. Keffer was there to play cabbage head and ask questions. He’s not tight with any of our main cast who we’ve had tons more time to grow attached to, and dies for plot reasons without leaving an impact with his loss. Heck, you can see the value of interpersonal relationships on character development in action when the show used a shoehorn to try and force some in in context to Carlos a second and a half before he died. We had him drinking at the bar with command staff suddenly, we had him die as a result of a flight mission Sheridan was part of to make Sheridan feel guilty about it. Everyone was standing around going like “No, Not Ramirez” and if you recall on my previous episode writeup I was LAUGHING at how tortured this sudden human connection was. Keffer could have been made interesting. Follow me on this.

My treatment on how to make Keffer interesting:

Let’s say Keffer was introduced as an old friend of one of our characters – Fraknlin let’s say. He was a friend from the Minbari War days that helped him sneak behind enemy lines. Perhaps he was complicit in the covering up and destruction of Franklin’s notes on Minbari anatomy. As a result, the two hang out in medbay sometimes, talking about old times and comparing the current war to the one they fought together. We learn that Keffer has a fire for justice. Hates bullies. Sees the strong as absolute defenders of the weak and that any stronger race picking on a weaker one is a bigger coward than the unvierse can hold. Then when Carlos gets killed by the ghost he starts researching what it could be. Kosh and Delenn tell him to stay out of it. The audience assumes he’s going to uncover something and bring Franklin and other characters into Delenn and Sheridan’s confidence about the shadows through curiosity and honor, but we’re learning through the episodes that the Shadows are IMMENSELY powerful and have no patience for flies. When he breaks off from his squad to go have a looksee at what he suspects led to his personal friend Carlos’s death, we know this is going to kill him. He ignores the warnings of those who have more awareness and dies to bring back evidence of the Shadows to the station. Sheridan recognizes how Keffer’s curiosity and sense of judgment led to recklessness, something Sheridan himself is prone to. He vows not to let Keffer die in vain, but also states that the proof he got has changed everything… and that Sheridan would have done the same. Killing your men in the name of a mission is never the goal but there’s a line everyone crosses when the safety of the universe is at stake and sometimes things are worth dying for. Franklin walks into medbay, casts a look to the counter where Keffer used to sit all those nights, and turns away.

But that’s not what happen. Keffer’s dead now and I don’t miss him. Glad he emailed the Shadows to ISN five nanoseconds before he died.

Babylon 5 is now the last best hope for victory because sometimes peace is another word for surrender and because secrets have a way of getting out. On to season 3!

#Babylon 5 #babylon 5 rewatch #season 2 #episode 22 #babylon 5 spoilers #art #jenstoart #kosh #john sheridan

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battendownthewhatsit · 3 years

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An Extremely Informal And Longwinded List of Black Sails Characters ordered by my Most Favorite to Least, After Watching the Series Twice, For No Reason Except It’s My Blog and I Want To

- coming in at a Close Second to Madi, it’s every other named woman in the show ?? Max? Incredible. Brilliant. Powerful and limited, complex and driven and deeper every time I think about her arc?? wow. Eleanor? absolute Shakespeare -level tragedy and the best blouses, amazing. Anne? Holy Hell. Miranda? Lost too soon but still more powerful and insightful as a ghost/psychopomp than most characters on most shows when they’re alive. Full of righteous murder and I love that for her. Abigail Ash?? what a gem , deserved better family, I hope she lives to become a pirate queen. Idelle? comin’ up from left field to be an absolute force of hope and healing and defiance all in one, best stealth character arc. The Maroon Queen? how does she rule the whole show with like ten minutes of screen time. Need a whole show about her. Frigging. Charlotte? an Artist. an Artist dealing with a Terrible Client and so in five minutes flat she was My character omg. Grandma Guthrie? unexpected kingmaker and I love how much of a Story she’s implied to have. Mapleton? ...ok maybe I don’t care about Mapleton. but otherwise I can’t? pick a favorite? my favorite is whichever of them is onscreen at the moment and extra when it’s more than one of them , which happens a lot but could never happen enough , not in forty seasons.

- Godammit, Silver. Someone should shove him off the edge of a boat. Everyone should shove him over the edge of a boat. But I can’t deny he’s a Perpetual Shenanigans Machine and I am always a fan of Shenanigans. Damn my weakness.

Vane?? I care about Charles Vane ??? How did this happen. When. What. I sobbed when he died and I’m still mad about it.

Billy Bones, who amazingly did Nothing Wrong Ever until he suddenly did EVERYTHING Wrong Forever, and it made sense and I’m upset about this too but it’s so solid and aaaaah

Jack Rackham, unexpectedly poignant Comedy Gold

Teach, what a solid Dragon, what an amazing setup and payoff on a character who was only barely there

MR SCOTT , I wish he had SO much more focus, what an absolute revelation of character, absolute exemplar of planting a Character Revelation in a show , all his scenes are a thousand times richer on rewatch , the show had to kill him bc if he’d lived he’d have solved everything

RANDALL, CHAOS MENTOR, and rightly Judgey Food Service Worker

Mr. Gates, F in the chat again , we only got glimpses of just how much was going on under the surface but it was eNOUGH omg I still tear up watching his speech about Billy

Captain Naft, for some reason a Genuinely Nice Guy who decided he was gonna PIrate and then was Terrible at it?? hilarious. I’m so glad he got out . Hope he sailed away to star in a Pratchett novel.

Tie between Featherstone and Mr de Groot (F in the chat, buddy, I hope you’re sailing on in a magical world where people respect your technical expertise and practical recommendations), champions of Just Being Good at the Job

Julius, I’m sure he’d be top five if he’d have even thirty combined minutes of screentime but realistically I can only love him for his Potential

likewise every person on Maroon island who never gets any focus, they All Deserved Better but didn’t get it so I can only love them Conceptually

OH HELL, FLINT, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT FLINT , I want to move him further up the list now but the fact that I didn’t even remember to include him until now tells me this is probably a Fair and Accurate ranking of where he stands in my Heart? which is. Completely wild??? he’s one of the most main of main characters?? But (a) I really truly despise the way he treats his men like disposable straws for most of the series? I mean look how much I love so much of the Walrus crew and then this guy’s going around frigging blowing their brains out and tossing them off ships and obviously We Have a Problem and (b) I think for me he wound up suffering from overexposure-- not in the show, but in terms of seeing him around Tumblr for years before I watched the show. I saw all his big speeches and character reveal moments screecapped and gif’d for years, in a way I almost never saw anyone else’s, and when those moments rolled around for me in the series there was always a feeling like “oh, this is where that happens. OK then” , instead of experiencing it as a new emotional revelation. Given that the scenes where he did something I hadn’t seen gif’d to death were still really powerful for me, I think all those years of out-of-context quotes and caps are really the main thing in play here, and that’s Unfortunate and also very much a Me Problem, but also it’s just such a visceral emotional thing that I can’t really change the reaction. Sorry, Captain , you’re great and well-written, I was just Spoilered out of a strong emotional reaction to you. :/

Thomas? Thomas.....

Israel Hands

uuuuh Hornigold and Dufresne I guess? Dufresne in particular is striking to me bc I hate his Choices but the way he winds up making them is v. sympathetic

uuuh Eleanor’s bodyguards in S1/early S2 I guess?

the pastor who kind of hilariously has no plot relevance to anything ever

....

that’s it

there are no more characters in this show :)

no there aren’t :):)

#long post

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E96 (February 25, 2020)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: The Chicago live show and C2E2 are imminent! The live show will be on Thursday night, but an hour earlier than usual, at 6 PM Pacific/8 PM Central! Liam will be at the live show, but unfortunately has to leave C2E2 early and won’t be able to make it on Sunday. On Friday, the first behind-the-scenes video for The Legend of Vox Machina animated series was posted on YouTube, introducing the writing team!

Episode 96: Family Shatters

Stats for this week’s episode! Of the 16 times Caleb has cast Teleportation Circle, the M9 have remembered to contact someone prior to their arrival 7 times. Of those 7 times, they were successful at contacting someone at the location only 3. Taliesin: “We’re playing this game like Skyrim, we’re just going through people’s houses breaking pottery.” Caduceus got the straw hat that he gave to Clarabelle in episode 31, about 188 in-game days ago. There were 17 cow-related puns. Dani: “Is that above or below average for a Critical Role episode?”

“Clay was kind of built relatively quickly. I didn’t give Matt a ton to play with. I gave him the order in which they left, I gave him Clay’s attitude and his impression of his family members, which was usually just one sentence, and some basic idea of what their power set might be if they had one. I always thought of him as, from a family perspective, of what would have happened to Percy if nothing went wrong.” He was happy to be the one to run the family business and just hang around at home and run the shrine. “I think the rest of the kids’ wanderlust probably put them at odds quite a bit.” He liked being able to play that conflict and show what Caduceus was like when he was annoyed. Cad took after his father, the girls generally wanted to leave, and Colton is “just sort of a doofus.”

Caleb was an only child, so seeing this many kids was a lot. “They clearly had their grudges and their different dynamics with each other, but that’s normal, for sure. Caleb’s very unfamiliar with it.” He also keeps looking at Nott and thinking about how everything he’s doing is about wanting to rebuild his family, whereas Nott is so conflicted about going back to hers. “He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t want to push it” or judge her for it. “I thought I had a really defined direction at the start of the campaign, but my seven best friends have knocked it silly.”

What’s keeping Cad with the Nein? “Caduceus is not ready to go home at all. He’s not done with his walkabout. He feels like he wants to see a bit more. He feels he has an intense debt to pay. He feels he has a mission to see everybody else through, at the very least. Or at least he’s telling himself that. So he’s saved his home, or at least he thinks he’s saved his home, and his family’s all right, so now it’s debts that must be paid. He’s not somebody who thinks you can just get off the bus.”

“Caleb was going to ask [the hag] about the ability to travel backward through time, not really believing that she could do that, but was still like, show me what you’ve got.” Even if she’d said it, he would have thought she was a liar. “Probably would’ve offered to kill the M9″ in exchange, then would’ve turned around to hit her with a surprise Disintegrate. Liam notes repeatedly that nothing could possibly have been as cool as what Laura wound up doing.

On the Nein not worrying about places Cad considered sacred ground, Caduceus “is fine with conflict. He doesn’t even really have to have conflict, he could assert himself if he were so inclined. It’s that he’s aware that there are limits to what these people can do. It’s very much the philosophy of ‘children and drunks can do no wrong’.” He’s picking his battles.

Was there a defining moment where Caleb started seeing the Nein as family? No single moment. “It’s like love by a thousand cuts.” Liam notes that he’s still not sure how Caleb would react if he suddenly had the means to carry out his plans. “He’s got the recovering-addict mentality.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Pumat! (CriticalHitical, photo by Minniemooncos on Twitter)

Taliesin notes that Caduceus is definitely feeling more connected to the group. “If anything, Caduceus is really embracing his role as the spiritual guide to the group. He feels like he really has a lot to offer from that perspective of being the roving therapist. Or at least, he thinks he’s a roving therapist.” Liam notes that Cad is the most mysterious of the group to Caleb. “He’s the most religious character I’ve ever played, too. He’s fun! He really came together very nicely.”

On Caleb being more lighthearted on occasion: “He’s been out of practice being a human being for a long time.” The Nein’s brand of ridiculousness is rubbing off on him.

Why hasn’t Cad been pranking the Nein? “They don’t treat him poorly in that way yet. Siblings, man. I have quite a few siblings, and there is an energy. It’s the same way like when you’re around your parents, you revert to a 15-year-old.” Same with siblings. “There’s just something-- just the urge to torture them is so overpowering.” The moment he got the whistle, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it. Liam was reminded of Taliesin’s real-life siblings while watching these interactions in the game.

On Caleb’s laying on compliments for the Traveler: “The thing about time travel is it’s so implausible. It’s so implausible that I could see us finishing this campaign and Caleb will still have it in the back of his head for the rest of his life. But maybe Artagan could help with that. He certainly sees the potential in Artagan, and it was a balance between wanting to support everything Jester has devoted her life to, so it just felt like everyone was ready to write it off. Life is often like this, life isn’t what you thought it would be, it is what it is. Let’s not damn this yet, let’s feel it out. And if I can use this situation to possibly eradicate ultimate evil, that’s a win.”

Cad found it tough to have family and friends in the same room and play both roles. “I don’t know how much it came across that he was trying to keep them, not necessarily separated, but ‘family, guys, guys, family, ANYWAY.’” He did want to get his family on their way as quickly as possible. Cad is the equivalent of his early 20s, so something like 85-120 years old for a firbolg.

Liam is asked about the conversation between Caleb and Yasha on watch several episodes ago. "You know what one of the best parts of that scene that played out was, is about 20 minutes or 30 minutes before that happened, I texted Ashley at the table and said, ‘Want to take watch? I have nothing planned, it could be fun.’” He wasn’t expecting it to go that far. “I think he had such an extreme reaction because he felt that he had done a good job of hiding things, and he was suddenly worried that he was transparent, that everyone had been able to read him this whole time when he’d thought that he was-- well, he’s a little in love with Jester Lavorre, and has been for a while, uselessly in love with her. The waltz was probably a little pebble. And in that moment-- this doesn’t play out verbally too much in the show, but he just was worried that this thing that he’s never going to admit to because it’s useless, she’s finding herself, and has her whole life ahead of her, and has other people around her who care about her and are a whole lot better for her than he is. And he’s aware of the way those two [Fjord and Beau] feel as well. It’s just there in the background fucking up his shit. It’s really just a problem. Big fucking problem.”

Fan art of the week: a gorgeous Clay family portrait! (by Teaweltzer on Twitter)

On Clay being absent for the renewal of his home: “I don’t think his arc’s ending off-screen. I think his arc ends when he comes home to see what’s become of it.”

Is Caleb worried about Beau since the confrontation with her father? “Of course he is. She’s ignoring all the advice that she gave him. He doesn’t like to see her that hard on herself when she’s so competent and probably the backbone of the group. It’s the most judgey Caleb’s been of anybody, really, but he’s very aware of the pain of family and personal stuff. She knows her, and even though he broke his shit in half, he could still see the dynamic in the room when we visited his family, so he feels for her. We need you and we love you and we will miss you, you don’t fucking get to go.”

Each of the temples has a secondary god; what was the Blooming Grove’s other god? “The Blooming Grove is for the Archeart because it is a gift of beauty. It’s the Allhammer, the Changebringer, and the Archeart. It’s kind of a powerplay from the Wildmother, in my opinion. They’re all three based off of very specific types of funereal practices that are common throughout the world.”

Caleb saw giving over the transformation spell to Essek as a returning of one of his many favors. “Caleb likes Essek a lot. They’re like two highly gifted kids at school together. And, you know, he’s quirkily charming and handsome. There’s just no reason not to, in his mind. Outside of the M9, he’s probably the only person that Caleb would see as a friend that he’s made. Everyone else is just sort of scenery around the M9.”

What’s next for Cad? “It’s a little bit of finding himself, or at least finishing himself would be the way to put it.” (cue snickering from off-camera) “He’s also vaguely aware of some of the things that are going to possibly emotionally damage the party on the horizon, and he wants to be ready to deal with, in vague order, whatever’s going to happen to Jester, and then whatever’s going to happen to Fjord, and then whatever’s going to happen to Nott, and Yasha, and Caleb. He doesn’t know how to deal with what Beau’s going through. It’s the one thing he has no experience of, because he has no experience with that family dynamic. When he met people with that family dynamic, it was always at the end of it.”

Some fans sent in death whistles. Brian encourages Taliesin to play one on the plane.

The hat for Calliope was a last-minute thought. The flute could also have gone for Colton, depending on “who I could sneak up on”.

Caleb took a symbol of the Archeart from the Labenda Swamp. “I think it was familiar to me. I think I might have either correctly or mistakenly thought it reminded me of the woman who helped Caleb in the Sanatorium.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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gwenvrse · 4 years

Text

dream come true

summary: You tune into Tom Holland’s Instagram live for the huge Marvel pub quiz. You would’ve never expected him to even notice you but never say never. pairing: Tom Holland x reader warnings: fluff word count: 1.5k notes: This is my very first time writing absolutely anything. I did this for fun but definitely let me know how I did! *gif by @morganstarks *

You’ve never been this excited about something as simple as a live stream. Not just any live stream though, it was the Marvel Pub Quiz hosted by none other than Tom Holland. Quarantine has seriously been such a bummer. You aren’t feeling as productive as usual.

Probably because of all the junk food and playing Animal Crossing for hours on end.

Nah.

It was just so exciting to even feel like Tom remotely knows who you are. You’ll watch his live and there’s a teeny weeny chance that he could see your name. Then maybe click it. Scroll through your Instagram and maybe-

Oh god stop it. That would NEVER happen.

As it’s nearing the time for the quiz to start, you head to the kitchen to get a snack. Since this is a Marvel quiz, the only logical snack is popcorn because of all the Marvel movies you’ve seen in theaters. As you shove the bag in the microwave, your younger brother pops his head around the corner.

“Watcha making???” He eyes the microwave.

You reply, “Popcorn…. For one.”

He pouts but it’s soon erased when he sees you pull out two bowls from the cabinet. You’re not feeling that cruel today.

“What time is that Marvel quiz? I can’t wait to kick Stephie’s butt in this quiz. She said I didn’t know anything about Marvel. Is she stupid?!”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s in a couple minutes. And how dare she even think that. You’re the master of Marvel knowledge,” you say with a hint of sarcasm. The machine stopped beeping, and you separated the popcorn into two bowls. You hand one to your brother and head over to the couch. “Oh my god, it’s almost time!” You say with popcorn in your mouth. You open your phone and click on Tom’s icon. You cannot wait to see his cute face.

The live starts and you hear Tom’s sweet voice say, “Hey everyone what is up! I miss you all so so much and I hope everybody is doing well during these tough times.” He is so caring and thoughtful. You turn to your brother and he gives you a look that is slightly judgey.

I must’ve been smiling without noticing. Oh well. He’ll understand these feelings eventually.

It’s not exactly time for the quiz to start yet so Tom just stalls by talking to Harrison, Harry and Tuwaine. They go on for a bit and start arguing about what is the best episode of Kitchen Nightmares. Tom looked at the live and he quickly realized he was stalling for too long.

“Oh shi- uh sorry,” he stutters, “I mean lost track of time there. It is now time to start the greatest Marvel pub quiz ever made! And that is totally true because I said it and I am never wrong.”

The quiz starts, you and your brother are both using your massive knowledge of the Marvel Universe to answer questions as quickly as they come. A couple of the questions you both sat there arguing over who was right. Some questions were complete guesses because neither of you could remember the correct answer. After a few minutes, the quiz is done. You look over your answers, hoping they’re right because Marvel is one of the few things that bring you joy.

Tom smiles as he finishes taking a sip of water, “Okay! The quiz is done, so now I will start inviting people on the live to see if you guys got the right answers! These questions weren’t easy, I know that…” he pauses. Tom begins to struggle with the phone.

“Uh boys,” Harrison’s head pops up on screen next to Toms, “how do I invite someone on the live with me? I tried pressing this and-”

“Tom you’ve got to get better at this bro,” Harrison rolls his eyes

“Yeah yeah, I am a 90 year old man in a 23 year old’s body. I get it,” Tom replies

“Alright, so you press this button and type the person’s name in and then press invite. Got it, grandpa?” Harrison giggles as he walks away.

“Ha Ha. Anyways, let’s start inviting people! Let’s see who’s first,” Tom eyebrows pinch together a little while trying to find someone to invite. You adore his determined face.

You were hoping he would click on your username eventually but after a while it seemed like it wouldn’t happen. Seeing other fans on the live made you feel a little sad but also happy because they look so happy. You were glad that you had gotten most of the answers right so far. Made you feel a little better about the possibility that you weren’t going to be on a live stream with Spider-man.

“We have now gotten to the last question. And I am going to pick, uhhh, y/username! Please click accept to come on the live,” Tom smiled and you suddenly felt your heart in your stomach.

Did he really just- No… no. There’s no way. It’s gotta be someone else with a similar username.

Your brother snaps you out of it, “Y/n! He sent you an invite for the live! Accept it!” He was shaking you and almost jumping on you. You see the accept button and you press it.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Is this real?

Your face appears below Tom’s on the screen. “Uh.. Oh my god. Hi” Your voice is so shaky.

C’mon, get it together.

“Hi there love, what’s your name?” Tom’s smile was so friendly. You could almost melt.

“I’m Y/n and this is my brother, Kevin,” Kevin’s head pops into the corner of the screen for a second as he waves to Tom. You are getting so red.

“Nice to meet you guys! Glad you could hang out and do this fun quiz with us,” Tom replies

You start to answer with, “We are really big fans. I love-”

Kevin cuts you off, “You! Y/n loves youuuu! Y/n is always watching your Spider-man movies and-” You shot him dagger eyes and he stopped talking.

But it was no use. You were beet red and could feel the heat in your cheeks. Thousands of people just saw and heard that. You were so embarrassed. You made a mental note to kill your brother later.

“Uhhh… disregard that! I just think you’re an amazing actor and I just really love you as Spider-man” You chuckled and tried to look nonchalant.

Tom smiles and lets out a small chuckle, “I like your brother. Good man. Ready for the question Y/n and Kevin?” You both nod yes. “What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for?” Tom makes a small wincing face. This one is a hard one. But you and your brother definitely have this one.

At the same time, you and Kevin say the answer, “Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division!” You both smile at Tom through the camera.

“Yes! You guys are so right! I can never get that one. Thanks Y/n and Kevin. You guys are awesome!” Tom winks and you can’t help but feel like that was for you.

Don’t be crazy.

You get off the live and can’t stop smiling. Kevin nudges you and you snap at him. “Why would you say that?! I was trying to be chill and you just made me look not chill at all!” You gave him a dirty look but definitely didn’t mean it.

Tom’s live ended while you were lecturing your brother. You sighed.

I can’t believe that just happened. Tom said my name!

You get up and bring your empty bowl to the sink and start washing. Kevin gets off the couch and you grab his bowl, “I’m going to my room, Y/n. That was so cool! I can’t wait to rub it in Stephie’s face tomorrow.”

You can’t stop thinking about Tom and the monumental moment that just happened. You don’t think anything will ever top that.

*Ding*

Tomholland2013 sent you a direct message

You take a breath in a little too quickly and almost start choking. Then you remember that people who got the questions right would get a signed poster. The dm is probably just for your address. You open the message. Tomholland2013: Hi Y/n! Thanks for playing! I can’t believe you guys got that question right. It’s way too hard for me 😅 Anyway, could I get your address to send you your prize? I knew it. It’s still so surreal that Tom Holland sent you a dm on Instagram. Who cares if it’s not the dm that you wish it was? Y/username: Thanks for picking me! That was such a dream come true! Btw I’ll take the credit for that one, my brother had no clue what it was. My address is 111 Glendale Rd, NY, USA 😊 Dream come true to be on a live stream with a celebrity? I mean I guess but that sounds so weird. I regret everything.

You close your phone. You figure that’s probably the end of that conversation. Although the moment is over, you still feel the butterflies in your stomach.

*Ding*

Again?

Tomholland2013: Thanks again for playing, love. By the way, I think it’s really cute that you’re in love with me 😉

~*~*~*~*~ tagging some mutuals that i love w all mi corazon: @chaoticpete @underoosjae @peterismymans @bubblebucky @rogvewitch @quackeroos @andromedaaaaaaaaa @sovereignparker @lost-space-ranger

#gwenvrse writes #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland #i cant believe i fucking wrote something omg

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fernrisulfr · 3 years

Text

Unpopular FGO Opinion/Rant 2: Bio-Diesel Boogaloo

My second unpopular opinion, though I’ve seen more agreement to this, and there’s a post somewhere that I reblogged which gives a much more comprehensive explanation as to why this is, but “Lostbelt 3: Synchronized Intellectual Nation, SIN” is bad. There’s a few reasons it’s bad. I will however say this first. Everything about Spartacus? Was good. It was very good. This was a Lostbelt that showed just what Spartacus can be to the narrative. He can be more than just manically shouting about “OPPRESION!!!” in the right setting. My significant other was right when she said the reason he had to die so early in Apocrypha was because had he lived any longer than that, he absolutely would have joined Sieg in starting a Homunculus rebellion.

So why is Lostbelt 3 bad? A few things. One is that the narrative is very poorly managed. It starts very slow, and almost nothing introduced in the first half actually goes anywhere. Then when we hit the second half of the story the narrative suddenly goes “Oh shit! We’re half done! Better pick up the pace!” and jams it’s foot on the accelerator so that things escalate so quickly barely any of it has time to matter.

Focusing on the first half of the story, that Vitch was releasing beasts and giants on villages, a point which took up a large chunk of the story, actually went NOWHERE. It really had nothing to do with the story, and the quests themselves brought me back to Orleans where every node and notch was “Here’s two blocks of dialogue. Now fight some Wyverns!”. It was a massive backwards step in FGO’s storytelling. Another issue is that in every Lostbelt so far they’ve tried to give us some sidekick from the world we’re going to prune so we can feel bad about it later, but the one in Lostbelt 3, which he at least got eyes unlike the other anonymous villagers, the kid didn’t even get a NAME. How are we supposed to care about a character with no name and almost no personality to speak of? The kid was quite literally barely more than a generic NPC.

Speaking of generic NPCs. Let’s talk about how DEEPLY Lostbelt 3 mistreated it’s characters, which is the real crux of why Lostbelt 3 is bad. So Nezha and Mordred just did not matter at all, to the extent they literally got shoved out of the story part way in. Mordred was there for comparison and pairing with Spartacus, but the moment he died she became unimportant and basically didn’t do anything. Nezha started off alright, but then the moment other characters showed up she was likewise shoved to the side, and ultimately out of the story. She basically existed solely to identify that Xiang Yu was a similar existence to herself. Speaking of, Xiang Yu and Yu Mei-ren’s romance was completely unbelievable. For multiple reasons. Again there’s another tumblr post by someone who’s put more thought into this than I, that explains this better. I’ll try and find it and reblog it again. Anyway. It’s bad and unbelievable. I’ll try to summarize why. Part of the problem is that there’s no real build up to it. It’s a lot of Mei-ren fawning over or being overtly protective of Xiang, and Xiang just being confused. It’s entirely one-sided till almost the end of the story. Then he just does some magic robot calculations and he decides he loves her just like the other Xiang Yu. Which is the other thing the narrative doesn’t pay enough attention to in this “romance”. HE’S NOT THE SAME GUY. Like he’s the “same guy” but an alternate reality version. Mei-ren basically found her husband’s doppleganger and decided to cling to him hoping it’d be the same/because she couldn’t bare to watch another man with that face die. Which could have been very interesting! Really! But it wasn’t paid enough attention to or written properly to BE interesting. Honestly the relationship between Xiang and Mei-ren could have formed an emotional backbone to the story, and instead it’s just kinda off to the side and comes up occasionally, but it’s “super important really!” by the end of the story.

Related to this is also Gao Changgong, Prince of Lanling, who was UTTERLY UNIMPORTANT. Like he should have been! The Lostbelt started off super strong with that exchange between Gao and Mei-ren in the past, and then the narrative did nothing with it. Gao barely said anything the whole Lostbelt when he should have been more relevant to the plot! He should have been a confidante to Mei-ren! It should have come up that he was happy to be able to see her again in “another life” (such as being a Servant is like living again, albeit briefly). He should have been more involved with Mei-ren and Xiang Yu! Like it could have been done so many ways! He could have been her wingman! Or he could have been her confidante who she talked to about her struggle with Xiang Yu being Xiang Yu but not being HER Xiang Yu. Instead he just didn’t do much, died earlier than any Crypter servant so far in their own Lostbelt, and became utterly irrelevant.

Red Hare and Chen Gong appeared part way into the story, and served no purpose beyond being Comic Relief, which was a real disservice; especially because their summoning was supposed to be important. It follows after the death of Spartacus, where the Lostbelt suddenly becomes connected to the throne of Heroes because the people regain hope and the concept of a Hero. Their arrival is SIGNIFICANT and then the narrative goes on to do nothing with them. Literally anyone could have been summoned and it would have played out the same. That’s how much their appearance mattered.

Old Man Li was there, but he also didn’t matter. Specifically it didn’t matter that he was Old Man Li. It doesn’t even come up. It literally could have been anyone. Could have been just some dude, and narratively it would have been the same.

Which is largely the biggest problem with the narrative. Most of the Servants/Characters present could have been literally anyone and it would have been almost exactly the same. Who anyone was largely did not matter.

Now let’s address the insect in the room, Emperor Mothman himself, Shi Huang Di. He was bad. Not like “he was a bad guy”. I mean he was just bad. Poorly written and uninteresting. He was unsympathetic and poorly written. Now. Let me be clear, a villain doesn’t need to be sympathetic. My problem here is that he was unsympathetic, but at the very end of the story they tried to act like he was. I felt nothing for this character, and still do not. He was poorly written and the aspects of him that could have been interesting were under utilized. Also not a fan of his design personally, or at least not compared to images I’ve seen of what he apparently looked like before he became a super-computer, followed by his new moth bod. That’s just a matter of personal preference though and I have no real issues with his physical design. Point is he’s boring. Like everyone else in the story, and despite being there for most of it, he was under utilized, didn’t do much, and his role could have been filled by just about anyone and it would have played out the same.

And that’s my rant. There’s honestly more to criticize, like the unnecessary on screen torture of Vitch, the generic battles, everything about Liangyu, but I am starting to lose my motivation two rants in, and I fear anything I say at this point will just be me repeating myself. My point is, Lostbelt 3 is bad, and of the first three lostbelts it’s narratively the weakest. (Lostbelt 2 had a LOT of problems, but it was still better. I am at least a little biased though due to a love of Norse Mythology and Sigurd, though those things also make me about three times as judgey as a normal person.). Anyway. Lostbelt 3 bad. That’s just my opinion. Agree or Disagree, you’re entitled to feel what you do about the matter.

#FGO #FGO SIN #FGO lostbelt 3 #Yu Mei-ren #Xiang Yu #Prince of Lanling #Gao Changgong #Liangyu #Red Hare #Chen Gong #Spartacus #Mordred #Nezha #Emperor Mothman #Shi Huang Di #Lostbelt 3 is bad #Unpopular opinion #FGO Rant

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bapyess1r · 4 years

Text

Amphetamine

WARNINGS: use of substance, alcohol, difference in ages, cursing

INTRO

“Florida fucking sucks….” Marcel stated plainly, taking a long drag of his joint, holding out for me to take. He rubbed his calloused fingers over his close cut hair before gently gliding them over the strings of the bass in his lap. I could hear the static in the speaker and a singular fat bass note. I ash my cigarette in the dirty crystal ashtray before picking up the joint for a small hit, immediately passing it to the piano player, Jules. She played a few random chords and took a sip from her wine glass.

“I think you just miss your boyfriend.” She chuckled taking a long drag from the shared joint.

“T.B.H so do I….” Our drummer Louie whined, letting a stick hit the snare with no particular rhythm whatsoever. I was confused...as hell.

“I’m sorry- boyfriend?” I said in a shocked tone.

“Shut up guys- Talia. I am NOT- capital N. O. T- gay. He’s like my best friend and he’s away on a job.” Marcel retorted, defensively.

“Aye, I don’t judge.” I smirked.

“It’s nice that he left you the keys to the house so we could keep practicing in his absence though.” Louie said, standing up to add to the rotation of the smoke sesh. He took several puffs and held it in before passing it back to Marcel.

“THIS ISNT EVEN- this isn’t even your house??” I noticed how loudly I was speaking suddenly and hushed my voice trying my best to not annoy the neighbors anymore than we already had.

“Our guitarist we told you about. Sam Drake? He plays with us on his downtime when he’s not being Dora.” Jules said, filling me in as the men in our group chose not to elaborate. I pursed my lips to suppress what I thought was about to be the ugliest giggle and took a drag from my cigarette, looking out at the moonlit sky reflecting off the ocean behind the gating. Our neighbors boats rocking gently on the waves. “When do you think he’ll be back?” She asked.

“Honestly I don’t know. Anytime he leaves out for a job he’s gone for like a month or two.” Marcel replied, staring at the ceiling, performing his scales.

“Yo one time he was gone longer than that- like four months- and I thought something shitty happened to him.” Louie said, taking a sip of his beer.

“I remember that. I got a bad feeling and actually went to church for once to pray about it.” Jules sighed, taking a big gulp of her wine. I could tell it really worried the group when he left.

“How long has he been gone?” I asked, being new to the band and the neighborhood.

“Close to a month I think. I heard him mention something about this job not being as big as usual. Simple run.” Louie answered.

“What the hell does this guy do anyways?” I asked. I was genuinely curious.

“He says he’s a travelling historian and treasurer.” Marcel huffed.

“See… Dora the Explorer.” Jules nudged me in the ribs and I snorted lightly.

“I can’t wait till he hears you sing when he gets back though. He’s gonna lose shit. Black Velvet is gonna make him weak.” Marcel cheesed ridiculously as I blushed faintly at his compliment. The bud was definitely hitting him hard. ‘Lightweight.’ I thought with a turn of my lips.

As the blunt came my way once more, I took the final drag of my cigarette and tossed it somewhere random. I accepted the joint and sat on the speaker facing the group, the close quarters of the garage becoming smokey. “Speaking of, when’s the next time we play?”

“We perform every weekend from the garage for the neighborhood actually. All the old leather skinned white men and their wives come out beer and wine drunk and dance terribly.” He replied with a smirk.

“It’s AWESOME!” Louie added with a contagious goofy laugh. I looked at the bottle of whiskey and huffed, holding it up for everyone to see.

“You’re outta booze. Also I gotta pee.” I announced unnecessarily.

“Just grab a bottle outta freezer. And the bathroom is the first door on your right.” Marcel nodded his head in the direction of the keys that sat atop the heavy duty toolbox.

“Are you sure he won’t mind?” I asked. I just wanted to be safe.

“If he does, I’ll buy him a few rounds and a new bottle.” he answered nonchalantly.

“Okaaay….” I mouthed to myself as I maneuvered my way through the crowded garage, reaching for the keys.

I walked up the wooden steps and opened the door to a dark room. The faint scent of old cigarette smoke and cologne creeping through my nostrils. A wall of books from ceiling to floor appeared in the moonlight. Immediately my curiosity peaked but the slight sting in my bladder told me to go before anything else. I noticed the frames lining the hallway contained what looked like really old maps. ‘Madagascar, huh?’ I thought as I shuffled into the bathroom to quickly relieve myself. Afterwards, I very quickly washed my hands so I could grab the whiskey from the freezer in the kitchen when I tripped over something really hard. I squeaked in pain when I looked down to see a large oxygen tank like the kind they used to do deep sea diving. I shook it off but my toe still felt a bit sore. It could've been worse had I not been wearing boots. So onward to the kitchen I went, looking down now and then to make sure I didn’t trip over anything else. The space was built just like my Godfather’s across the street so it was easy to find. HOWEVER! As hard as I tried to not pay attention to the things in the living room, it was to no avail. I mean he wasn’t home so what harm could I really do? After a few seconds of a mental argument with Me, Myself, and I, I made a decision. “Fuck it. I’m doin’ it.” I muttered to myself as I slammed the freezer door closed. That’s when I noticed the square polaroid on the fridge of two children in a shogun helmet and a safari hat. ‘Maybe they’re his…’ I thought.

I followed the glass window to the wall of books and in between them what looked to be some strange artifacts. A skull with a corny pirates patch on it was being used as a bookend and I chuckled. “Cute.” I glanced around the living room and noticed the small box tv sitting ridiculously close to the couch and a few old gaming consoles and low and behold.... “Is that a goddamn VCR player???” I whispered to myself with a judgey scoff. ‘Jesus he needs an update…’ Not that they weren’t great systems but damn… On the coffee table were a few empty cigarette cartons and empty bottles of beer, a bit of ash dragged across it. A tall surfboard was stood in a corner by its lonesome. The walls were adorned with a couple of interesting things: an old liferaft, mounted pirate swords, some pictures of a group of people holding guns and stuff. “Kay...so he’s a tad obsessed with pirates…” On another wall was a mounted blue electric guitar and a beautiful oakwood acoustic. I ran my fingers across the strings as they made an odd sound. “Tune that shit man… well I guess he can't…” ‘He’s not home…’ There was also a massive map of the world posted on a pinboard with hundreds of tiny colorful pins sporadically placed. ‘Did he really go to all these places?’ I stared at it for a moment in sheer wonder before I brought my attention back to the book wall before me, the whiskey bottle in my hand beginning to sweat. My eyes widened at the titles as my fingers brushed the spines of each one, stopping when I reached an old globe. I drug my fingers across it, causing it to spin a little. I stopped on an encyclopedia of pirates and gently pulled it out. Tucking the wet bottle in my arm, I turned its pages. Some names highlighted, cliff notes off to the side of some passages. Some corners of the pages were bent as if to save a place. Honestly, it was amazing. The guy knew so much about-

“What the hell are you doin’?!” A deep irate voice sounded, startling me. The glass bottle fell from my arms shattering to the hardwood floor as I squealed.

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