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janecrockeyre · 3 years

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scum villain is a greek tragedy disguised as a regular tragedy disguised as a comedy disguised as a danmei

this is going to be long, and this is only PART ONE.

a.k.a, Analysing the plot of Scum Villain’s Self Saving System through Aristotle’s Poetics, because I Have Mental Issues

Part One: Introduction and the Tragic Hero

Scum Villain’s Self Saving System is a tragedy disguised as a comedy, unless you’re Shen Yuan, in which case it’s a mixture of a romance and a survival horror. It's a fever dream. It's a horrible, terrible book that made me feel new undiscovered emotions when I finished reading it.

The thing is... SVSSS shares characteristics with some of the most famous tragedies in the West, such as Oedipus Rex, Medea, Antigone, the Oresteia... if you haven’t read these, I’ll explain everything. But the gist of my argument is this: SVSSS is the perfect tragedy. In triplicate.

Tragedy as a genre is old as balls and so it has meant slightly different things to different people over the last few thousand years. I'll be focusing on ancient Greek tragedy, which was performed at the yearly Festival of Dionysus in Athens during the 500-350s BC (give or take a hundred years). Aristotle, when writing about this very specific subset of tragedy, had no idea that one day Scum Villain would be written, and then that I would be using his work as a way to look at Shen Qingqiu’s Funky Transmigration Mistake. Anyway!

Greek tragedy greatly influenced European dramatic tradition. I have a lot of opinions about white academics idolising and upholding the classics as the "paragon of culture" but I'll withhold them for now. I have no idea if MXTX has read Greek tragedy or not, so don't take this as me saying they are writing it.

In my opinion, tragedy is a universal human constant. We are surrounded by pain and hurt and none of it makes any sense, so we seek to process that pain through drama, art, literature, etc. We want to understand why pain happens, and how it happens, and try to make sense of the senseless. The universe is cold and cruel and random. Tragedy eases some of that pain.

On that note: Just because I am analysing Scum Villain through a Greek lens doesn't mean that it was written that way. I'm pasting an interpretation onto the book when there's probably a very rich and deep history of Chinese tragedy that I just don't know about. If you ever want to talk about that, please, god, hit me up, I would love to learn about it!!

Anyway, tragedy. MXTX is excellent at it! Mo Dao Zu Shi? Painful dynastic family tragedy. Heaven Official's Blessing? Mostly romance, but she managed to get that pure pain in there, huh?

But in my opinion, Scum Villain holds the crown for the most tragic of her stories. MDZS was more of a mystery. TGCF was more of a romance. Neither of them shy away from their tragic elements.

Scum Villain would fit right in between the work of Sophocles, Euripides and Aeschylus. How? Let me show you. Join me on my mystery tour into the world of "Aristotle Analyses Danmei..."

Part One: The Tragic Hero

What is a tragic hero? Generally, Greek tragic heroes are united by the same key characteristics. He must be imperfect, having a "fatal flaw" of some kind. He must have something to lose. And he must go from fortune to misfortune thanks to that fatal flaw.

There are two (technically three) tragic protagonists in SVSSS and all of them are tragic in different but formulaic ways. Each protagonist has their own version of “hamartia” or a “fatal flaw”.

Actually, hamartia isn’t necessarily a flaw - rather, it is a thing which makes the audience pity and fear for them, a careful imperfection, a point of weakness in the character’s morality or reasoning that allows for bad things to happen to them. For example, in Oedipus Rex, the king Oedipus has a “fatal flaw” of always wanting to find the truth, but this isn’t exactly a flaw, right? Note: this flaw can be completely unwitting, as we see with Shen Yuan. It can also be something that the protagonist is born with, some kind of trait from birth or very young.

Shen Yuan

Shen Yuan’s “hamartia” is his rigid adherence to fate and his inability to read a situation as anything but how he thinks it ought to be. He believes that Bingmei will grow into Bingge, and it takes several years, two deaths, and some truly traumatising sex to convince him otherwise.

Shen Jiu

Shen Jiu’s fatal flaw is his cruelty. It is his own sadistic treatment and abuse of Binghe which directly leads to his eventual dismemberment. This is kind of a no-brainer. Of course, it isn't all that simple, and as an audience we pity him for his cruelty as much as we fear it because we know it comes from his own abuse as a child. This just makes him even more tragic. Delicious.

Luo Binghe

Luo Binghe’s fatal flaw is a complicated mix of things. It is his position as the “protagonist” which compels him to act in certain ways and be forced to suffer. It is his half-demonic heritage, something entirely out of his control, which sets in motion his tragic reversal of fortune when he gets yeeted into the Abyss. He also, much like Shen Yuan, has the propensity to jump to conclusions and somehow make 2 + 2 = 5.

As well as having their respective “flaws”, all three protagonists match the rough outline of a good tragic hero in another way: they are in a position of great wealth and power. Even when you split the different characters into different “versions”, this still holds true. Yes, Luo Binghe is raised a commoner by a washerwoman foster mother, but his dad is an emperor and he also ends up becoming an emperor himself.

Yes, Shen Jiu is an ex-slave and a victim of abuse himself, but Shen Qingqiu is a powerful peak lord with an entire mountain’s worth of resources at his back.

Shen Yuan is a second generation new money rich kid.

Bingge is a stereotypical protagonist with a golden finger. Bingmei is a treasured and loved disciple with a good reputation and a privileged seat by his shizun’s side.

In a tragedy, having this kind of good fortune at the beginning of your story is dangerous. Chaucer says that tragedy is (badly translated into modern english) “a certain story / of him that stood in great prosperity / and falls out of high degree / into misery, and ends up wretchedly”. If we follow this line of thinking, a good tragedy is about someone who has a lot to lose, losing everything because of one fatal point of weakness that they fail to address or understand.

If we look at Shakespeare, this is what makes King Lear such a fantastic tragic protagonist. He is a king in control of most of England, who from his own lack of wisdom and excess of pride, decides to split his kingdom apart to give to his daughters, favouring his murderous, double crossing progeny, and condemning his only actually filial daughter to death. He loses his kingdom, his mind, and his beloved daughter, all because of his own stupidity.

This brings us to:

Part Two: Peripeteia

This reversal of fortunes is called peripeteia. It is the moment where the entire plot shifts, and the hero’s fortunes go from good to bad. Think of it like one of those magic eye puzzles, where you stare at the image until a 3D shark appears, except you realise the shark was always there, you just couldn't ever see it, waiting for you, hungry, deadly, always lurking just behind that delightful pattern of random blue squiggles.

Each tragic hero has their own moment of peripeteia in SVSSS, sometimes several:

Shen Qingqiu

In the original PIDW, SQQ’s peripeteia presumably occurs when he finds out that Bingge didn’t perish in the Abyss but has actually been training hard to come and pay him back. There’s really not much I’m interested in saying here - as a villain, OG!SQQ is cut and dry, and the audience doesn’t really feel any pity or fear for him. As Shen Yuan often mentions, what the audience feels when they see OG!SQQ is bloodlust and sick satisfaction. There is also the trial at Huan Hua Palace, which I will talk about in Shen Yuan’s section.

Shen Yuan (SQQ 2.0)

One of SY’s most poggers moment of peripeteia is the glorious, terrifying section between hearing Binghe for the first time after the Abyss moment, and getting shoved into the Water Prison.

“Behind him, a low and soft voice came: “Shizun?”

Shen Qingqiu’s neck felt stiff as he slowly turned his head. Luo Binghe’s face was the most frightening thing he had ever seen.

The scariest thing about it was that the expression on his face was not cold at all. His smile wasn’t sharp like a knife. Rather, it showed a kind of bone-deep gentleness and amiability.”

This is the moment of true horror for Shen Yuan, because he knows what happens next: the plot unfurls before him, inevitable and painful, and he knows that death awaits him at Luo Binghe's hands (lol). Compare it with the bone deep certainty with which he faces his own downfall during the sham of a trial later in the chapter (I’ve bolded the important part):

“In the original work, Qiu Haitang’s appearance signified only one thing: Shen Qingqiu’s complete fall from grace. [...] Shen Qingqiu’s heart streamed with tears. Great Master… I know you’re doing this for my own good, but I’ll actually suffer if she speaks her words clearly. This truly is the saying “not frightened of doing a shameful deed, just afraid the ghost (consequences) will come knocking”!”

After the peripeteia is usually the denouement where the plot wraps up and the threads are all tied together leaving no loose ends, but because this tragedy isn’t Shen Yuan’s but the former Shen Jiu’s, it’s impossible to finish.

Shen Yuan cannot provide the meaningful answers that the narrative demands because 1) he doesn’t have any memory of doing anything, and 2) he wasn’t the person who did them. Narratively, he cannot follow the same path as the former SQQ because he lacks the same fatal flaw: cruelty.

This is why Binghe doesn’t kill him - because he loves him, rather than despises him. And this is why Shen Yuan has to sacrifice himself and die for Luo Binghe in order to save him from Xin Mo: because the narrative demands that denouement follows peripeteia, and SQQ’s fate is in the hands of the narrative.

(Side note: I believe that this literal death also represents the death of OG!SQQ's tragic arc. The body that committed all those crimes must die to satisfy the narrative. SQQ must die, like burning down a forest, so that new growth can sprout from the ashes. After this, Shen Yuan's story has more room to develop instead.)

It must happen to show Bingmei that SQQ loves him too. And this brings us to Bingmei.

Bingmei

Bingmei has two succinct moments of utter downfall. The first is a literal fall - his flaw, his demonic heritage, leads his beloved shizun to throw him down into the Abyss. From his point of view, SQQ is punishing him simply for the status of his birth. He rapidly goes from being loved and cherished unconditionally, to being the victim of an assassination attempt.

He realises that he is totally unlovable: that for the crimes of his species that he never had a hand in, he must pay the price as well: that his shizun is so righteous that no matter what love there was between them, if SQQ sees a demon, he will kill it. Even if that demon is Bingmei.

The second moment is when SQQ dies for him. Again, from his point of view, he was chasing after a man who was struggling to see him as a human being. Shen Qingqiu’s death makes Bingmei realise that he has been completely misunderstanding his shizun: that SQQ would literally die for him, the ultimate act of self sacrifice from love: that SQQ loved him despite his demon heritage.

Much like King Lear holding the corpse of his daughter and wailing in sheer grief and pain because he did this, he caused this, Bingmei gets to hold his shizun's cold body and cry his eyes out and know that it was his fault. (Kind of.)

(Yes, I’m bringing Shakespeare into this, no I am not justifying myself)

Maybe I'm a bit sadistic, but that scene slaps. Let me show you a comparison of scenes so you get the picture.

Re-enter KING LEAR, with CORDELIA dead in his arms; EDGAR, Captain, and others following

KING LEAR

Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:

Had I your tongues and eyes, I'ld use them so

That heaven's vault should crack. She's gone for ever!

I know when one is dead, and when one lives;

She's dead as earth. Lend me a looking-glass;

If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,

Why, then she lives.

[...]

KING LEAR

And my poor fool is hang'd! No, no, no life!

Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,

And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more,

Never, never, never, never, never!

Pray you, undo this button: thank you, sir.

Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,

Look there, look there!

Dies

Versus this scene in SVSSS:

Luo Binghe turned a deaf ear to everything else, greatly agitated and at a loss of what to do. He was still holding Shen Qingqiu’s body, which was rapidly cooling down. It seemed like he wanted to call for him loudly and forcefully shake him awake, yet he didn’t dare to, as if he was afraid of being scolded. He said slowly, “Shizun?”

[...]

Luo Binghe involuntarily held Shen Qingqiu closer.

He said in a small voice, “I was wrong, Shizun, I really… know that I was wrong.

“I… I didn’t want to kill you…”

PAIN. SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL PAIN. Yes, I know Shakespeare isn’t Athenian, but he was inspired by the good old stuff and he also knew how to write a perfect tragedy on his own terms. Anyway. I’ll find more Greek examples later.

This post was a bit all over the place, but I hope it has been fun to read. Part Two will be coming At Some Point, Who Knows When. This is a bit messy and unedited, but hey, I’m not getting paid or graded, so you can eat any typos or errors. Unless you’re here to talk to me about Chinese tragedy, in which case, please pull up a seat, let me get you a drink, make yourself at home.

ps: if you want to retweet this, here is the promo tweet!

#svsss #scum villain #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #greek tragedy #hello followers this account has been silent for a long time but today i bring you whatever this is #long post #i am gonna cross post more art here from my twitter i think #you guys really like my shitposts on here

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty

Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?

My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).

That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.

As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.

And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.

Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.

I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.

#lucifer #lucifer spoilers #deckerstar #anonymous #ask

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originalwinnercheesecake · 3 years

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Parabatai bond Essay... Why they may all be destined to end

Parabatai: defined by Cassandra Clare as a rare intense where a pare of warriors connect/bond in childhood and then decide to knit their souls together so that they can always stay together and always carry a piece of the other inside them. Defined by the fandom as “ a type of (supposedly) platonic marriage”. Cassandra Clare also wants to claim it as a type of bond that is unique to the shadow world, but honestly I can name several pair of Parabatai all across different media’s. Just looking at early 2000′s children's anime and Disney esqu movies we have Ash/Pikachu, Yugi Muto/the Pharaoh, Hiccup/Toothless, Woody/Buzz, etc...

... If you share my taste in these media’s you probably noticed that of the 4 other series “Parabatai” I listed 3 out of 4 (Ash and Pikachu are still partners right?) have to split off from the other due to changes of destiny/life. This is also the case for man,y many parabatai in The Shadowhunter Chronicles. Sounding off pairs that are important enough for me to care about underneath

Jonathan Shadowhunter/David the Silent: Let’s began at the beginning. Jonathan Shadowhunter was the first ever Shadowhunter. His favorite person in the world was his companion David, who wasn’t as much of a fighter as Jonathan but was very smart and very good at keeping Jonathan grounded when necessary. After being traumatized by a greater demon when fighting alone one da, David gave up fighting (and speaking), and became the first ever silent brother. The story said this broke their bond and broke Jonathan down to tears. I am sure David still loved him though. David could have chosen to go back to being a mundane but instead chose to undergo the rituals to turn himself into a silent brother. David was never that into fighting/war. Everything he did he did out of love for Johnathan. When David was no longer able to be there for Jonathan as a solider, he found a new way as a Silent Brother.

Robert Lightwood/ Michael Wayland: Parabatai and joined at the hip as teenagers. When Michael confessed to having romantic feelings towards Robert confusion as to his own feelings and fears surrounded by change drove Robert to reject Michael in a cruel and harsh way. Their bond is officially severed after the uprising when Michael die,s and Robert is exiled. Decades later Robert still regards hurting Michael as the biggest mistake in his life, the persist moment when he lost faith in himself. It is only after he confesses to his oldest child what he did and how it still haunts him all these years, only after he is finally able to acknowledge within himself the importance of the memories he has of Michael, that Robert is able to finally turn his life around for the better.

Valentine Morgenstern/ Lucian Greymark: Parabatai while studying at the academy, and for a few years afterwards. When Luke started to doubt Valentine’s plans, Valentine took him to be ambushed by a pack of feral werewolves hoping Luke would be killed instead Luke was turned. After this Valentine and Luke became bitter enemy's. These two men who once had so much love for the other, now swore to destroy any plan the other had and would fight with the intent to kill upon seeing he other. Despite all this bad blood, both still loved the memories of who the other used to be, and it is implied that a lot of their hatred for who the other is now is born from grief over they Parabatai they lost.

William Herondale/James Carstairs: CC’s closest Parabatai pair. Both Will and Jem had their whole lives shattered by demons when they were just children, and afterwards questioned at times if it was still really had much of a reason to carry on. Then they met each other and decided that they had to carry on because they loved the other to much to leave them alone. These two are in a way echo’s of Jonathan and David, and like David Jem joins the brotherhood when it is no longer possible for him to stay with Will and Tessa as a shadowhunter. They lose the bonds, but keep their love for each other. Will calls silent city on a daily basis with some excuse for needing Brother Zachariah, and Jem faithfully answers every call.

Julian Backthorn/Emma Carstairs: Fall in love, turn into Giant “true Shadowhunters”. Their bond is severed when their runes are burned off by heavenly fire coursing though their veins. By this time though their relationship had already changed from a platonic one to a romantic one.

James Herondale/ Matthew Fairchild: The two that unquestionably love each other, but do not always love the others choices. As Parabatai they try to reach out to the other and help them. But both boys deal with so much and have trouble recognizing/excepting help when it when offered. Matthew is more aware of James issues than James is of Mathews, All though by the end of Chain of Iron even Matthew is at lose to understand James. James for his part only just starts to realize how sick Matthew may be. There are a lot of theories floating around that Matthew may being to sick to function as/ protect himself as a shadowhunter. With so much to recover from will their Parabatai bond last, or are they destined to seperate?

Cordelia Carstairs/ Lucie Herondale: The will they-won’t they pair. They have planed o one day become Parabatai since they were little girls, but have never gotten around to it. They are both nearly adults now and the story already seems to be puling them in opposite direction, so a lot of people now doubt that they will even make it to the ceremony.

Jace Herondale/ Alexander Lightwood: CC’ first pair of Parabatai, and so far the only pair to keep their bond for the whole series. Like seriously even when Jace died, he came back with the bond intact and Alec reporting that he only felt a little off for a few minutes. CC’s newest reasoning behind that is that there is apparently a delay time between one parabatai dying and the bond severing, and Jace came back before his and Alec’s had time to do more than fray at the edges. So that means that our boys stayed tethered together even when Jace was on his way to the afterlife. WOW (keep this reason CC, it actually kinda works). Jace and Alec’s bond has lasted the longest, but we still have 4 more books where something bad can happen to one of them, and they are now fighting in 2 wars at once.

Clary Fairchild/ SImon Lovelace: became Parabatai in between series, after both failing as a couple, and Simon going through multiple species changes. They are still parabatai in the most recent book but, like with Jace and Alec, we still have 4 future books that could change in. Clary, Jace, and Simon are CC’s three original main characters. She claims that the plan is to wrap up the Shadowhunter Chronicles for good in The Wicked Powers. What is the likelihood that she will leave all three of her original mains alive. I mean Clary already had a vision where “a version of herself” died, and Simon was originally supposed to die in COHF, but CC’s friends begged her to let him live.

While CC claims that Parabatai are rare in her universe, what seems to actually be rare is Parabatai staying bonded throughout the pairs lives. Why is that? Well lets remember that one of the rules for Parabatai is that they must meet and be bonded during childhood, Once they become adults they are no longer eligible. A fact of growing up is that lives and people change: We make friends, we love our friends,are there for them while we can be, and yet sometimes as we grow friends part ways. People die, they move away, or just grow apart. Memories of old friends and places we all used to hang out become beloved memories of being younger. During a time in our lives when we felt more innocent and care free. A time that sadly never lasts. In conclusion to why parabatai bonds tend to break parabatai could represent the close bonds of childhood, the friends who helped you grow into an adult, and some one who you are able to treasure your memories of as an adult, even if, due to circumstance, you no longer see that person as much or at all. Value your parabatai because you don’t know how long you will actually have them

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spasmsofthought · 4 years

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clean slate. (zuko x reader)

(Thank Netflix and some feelings for my favorite ATLA character for this piece. I’ve never fallen asleep to this fandom, but now I can stream the whole series and not have to worry about changing discs [score!]. I hope I did Zuko some justice here. Also, I haven’t watched The Legend of Korra - so I can’t speak to anything that is written in that story or canon. I base my writing only off of ATLA. Obviously I’m breaking away from Mai x Zuko - and thus breaking away from canon in some ways - as shipped and beloved as they can be.)

(ALSO - any guesses to where this OC could be from? I had some ideas while writing, but leave a comment with your idea below!)

There’s this way he gets when he’s remembering what his life was like before.

Zuko has always been a solitary figure.

Being the Crown Prince (and an exiled one, at that) carries responsibilities few know about. His shoulders have always been strong, but they also have always been rigid.

Most don’t even take into account the trauma that comes with being abused by your father and tormented by your psychotic sister. Not to mention wondering if your mother is alive after being banished from the Fire Nation as a traitor.

You always like to think of Iroh as Zuko’s saving grace.

There is a kindness to Zuko’s face that was lost in all the pain and anger before. When he smiles, it is gentler and softer.

Like some of the hardness that had been burned into him has transformed from hardened steel to a molten one. It’s still there, but it’s constantly being heated and warmed and molded instead of sitting there in his chest like a stone .

He’s living and breathing his firebending instead of just trying to produce or control it.

His time hunting down, and subsequently joining, Avatar Aang had changed him in ways you’re only beginning to understand.

You can tell he’s not really reading the scrolls he has laid out on the table before him. He sits still but his mind is anywhere but in the present moment. You don’t know what it is that has him so far away.

Is it that people expect him to retreat to Ember Island sometime in the near future?

Is it that his father and sister rot in jail while he sits on the throne?

Cruel memories from his childhood?

The worries of his mother’s banishment and where she was now if she was actually alive?

Marriage? Children? (He’s young, but it still doesn’t stop the council of government officials and generals from asking and pressuring him.)

You had never been a mind reader, and even less so concerning Zuko. Sometimes he wore his reputation for being temperamental well, though his moments had become rarer and rarer since joining the Avatar and becoming friends with him and his group.

He was balanced now, but there were moments you could tell his own triggers tipped the scale.

Be it happenstance or fate or whatever people would like to call it, there was a reason you were in his life now as compared to the minuscule role you would have been given any moment earlier.

Your hands cover the material written on the scroll (probably important state business he’s supposed to take care of - he is Fire Lord after all) as you sit down across from him.

The table is long but not very wide, which makes this easier than it would be had Zuko been more difficult and chosen one of those wider study desks he was fond of when he actually wanted to get things done.

“You’re not even reading,” You begin softly. It takes a minute for him to come back from whatever time and place he was in and he just sighs. His hands stay in his lap, but his eyes meet yours.

They are amber in color, but rich and deep and warm in substance.

When you used to get a glimpse at them, from a distance, it was like they burned you, like if he stared long enough his eyes could leave a scar, too. Now it’s more like they hold life and passion and light instead of destruction and anger.

“You can talk to me.” He knows this, despite how many times you say it. Sometimes the words are painful, sometimes they bring him comfort. Either way, struggling is in Zuko’s nature.

Nothing seems to come easy for him, even when peace among the four nations has been declared and his birthright has been restored to him.

Several moments are spent in silence as he breathes in and out, trying to gather the right words (that’s been a struggle for him, too, at times).

“How can I be a leader if I can’t be a really good one?”

It takes a moment for you to digest the meaning of his words. It’s less about being a good leader and more about not being like his father. Despite the fact that he’s already announced this new era to be one of peace and love and unity, his deepest and darkest doubts plague him. Would he be the kind of leader he was if they didn’t though?

He doesn’t talk about them very often, but there are times, like now, where he’ll let his guard down and be honest with you.

You wish there were some way you could bear his burdens for him; to tell him that his father’s leadership does not have to affect his own. You wish you could tell him he is the one who holds all the choices and possibilities in his hands. You lean forward on your elbows, minimizing the distance between the two of you slightly.

“Listen to me,” His eyes flicker from yours to spots around the ornate room. Back and forth they flit. “Zuko, the fact that you’re asking that question proves to me that you’re already a better Fire Lord than your father.”

“But how can you-”

“Look at me,” You say as you grab his face. One hand rests on his scarred cheek while the other holds the opposite side of his face. He doesn’t flinch when you touch it, he hasn’t for some time. “I can’t convince you of yourself. That’s not why I’m here. But I want to let you know, even though you may doubt my words now, your genetics do not shape what kind of leader you are and the leader you will become. That’s only your decision.”

He looks at you like he doesn’t quite believe you, and you don’t expect him to. His self-reflection can be a gift, but it can also be a curse. His shoulders sag like his thoughts weigh more than he’s let on.

“Who makes your decisions for you, Zuko?”

“What?” He asks incredulously. You almost smile because he looks so bewildered.

“Who is the person that makes your decisions for you?”

“What are you talking about? I make my own decisions.” He looks at you like you’ve gone crazy.

You let his statement sit in the air as you get up from your position across the table and walk around to sit next to him. He turns so that he meets your gaze head-on. You can see his words running through his head, though you know they’ll take a lifetime to actually make complete sense.

“Exactly,” Your hands weave their way to the back of his neck. You curse whoever made it tradition for Fire Lords to put their hair up in a topknot for formal dress code. You know the importance of it in Fire Nation culture, but there are some days you wish you could see him working with his hair down. It would certainly provide you with more opportunities to distract him. “You get to decide exactly what kind of leader you are and are going to be. No one else is in your head except you.”

The corner of his lips quirk up. You can tell it hasn’t quite sunk in all the way yet, but it’s gone deep enough to ward off his doubts for now. There is a glimmer in his eyes that tells you he believes your words as much as he can in this moment.

It’s all you can ask for.

His forehead comes to press against yours. He’s not one for public displays of affection while working or in his formal wear, but there are spaces in time like these where he decides to make an exception. You close your eyes and breathe out a sigh of contentment, simply happy to be in the present moment with him.

It’s his version of saying thank you to you.

His lips press to yours softly and you hold him to yourself longer than would be proper if there were others in the room with you. But there isn’t.

He tilts his head back and catches a breath, but you chase his mouth to grab a quick second kiss.

All of this makes all the rest of the hullabaloo that you have to deal with worth it. He has always been worth it.

When you part, you smile at him as you turn his head back towards the scrolls on the table.

“Now get reading, Fire Lord Zuko.”

#avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko #zuko x reader #zuko x oc #prince zuko #fire nation #avatar the last airbender one shot #zuko one shot #zuko imagine #atla zuko #avatar iroh #iroh #avatar: tla #avatar: the last airbender

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

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hua cheng, the accidental person

okay this is for @bodhimcbodeface because i can’t shut up and make this concise enough for discord. spoilers ahead yeehaw

this is...not comprehensive. i’ve written 11 tgcf fics and am generally a bit fixated on Hua Cheng as a character so. there’s definitely things missing but i tried to hit the main points that i thought of while writing? also obviously this is just my interpretation! i do not expect anyone else to be like “ah yes curio the sage is so correct i have changed my thinking on this” like go live your life with your own versions of hua cheng! this is just the hill upon which i have firmly planted myself and from which i refuse to be budged. as u do.

anyway, LONG explanation of my very niche and very uh self-indulgent, not-necessarily-support-by-canon hua cheng apologism LMAO

tl;dr: (this is really Too Long i’m sorry) I think Hua Cheng reluctantly becomes a person during his 800 years of searching, starting from a point where he views Xie Lian not as a person but as an immutable god and focus of devotion and developing into a person who doesn’t really acknowledge that he’s a person because realizing that you want to live and do things for yourself is scary and overwhelming at times, and he ultimately falls in love with Xie Lian during the novel itself as he recognizes and is in wonder of the humanity of Xie Lian instead of his divinity or absolute judgment.

POINT 1: Hua Cheng doesn’t actually fall in love with Xie Lian till the ox cart

but curio! you say, “my beloved!” he calls him his beloved! and the land of tender!!

shhh. IMO Hua Cheng is more Wuming than Hua Cheng for those 800 years. By which I mean, for most of that time he’s, at his heart, a nameless soldier trying to find and serve his crown prince/general/god. He still views Xie Lian as this perfect and immaculate figure—a sculpture, a painting, a work of art that is untouchable and immutable. And he’s utterly and wholly devoted to that figure but devotion is not the same as love

So Hua Cheng is searching and trying to serve Dianxia all these years and then His Royal Highness finally ascends and is a god again and Hua Cheng shows up in all his glory to give this power and strength and wealth to serve him and—

and he’s met not by a powerful and reckless martial god or an unstoppable calamity but by a young man dressed in bridal robes who lets Hua Cheng lead him up a darkened mountain, who doesn’t lash out with spiritual energy or a sword but instead, only eventually, with the cursed bandage he was carrying back in the darkest part of his life.

and i think that throws hua cheng. like he’s had this image of his god all these years, this divine painting made over and over and over again—and he carries that belief and devotion with him, but there’s a crack in the sculpture and the stone is starting to flake off to reveal a human underneath it

so he puts on an approachable, malleable, unassuming skin and finds xie lian collecting scraps and being a lil awkward, a lil bumbling, generous and kind — and i think hua cheng, after 800 years of knowing everything, having everything — I think he looks at this discovery with wonder

Bc tbc this does not mean Hua Cheng views them as equals. For him it’s like, dianxia has even more to him, is even more than I knew. He’s seen Xie Lian as the flower crowned martial god in all his glory and as the white-clothed calamity in all his horror — and now here he is, wonderful, multitudinous, and human

Meanwhile I don’t think Hua Cheng even views himself as a person really, much less a human.

also i mean. the internet & allo ppl prove time and time again that you don’t need love for horniness so. land of tender’s right out as proof on that

POINT 2: The Live For Me thing

so obviously and undeniably, using one person as a reason for living is....not healthy. Not going to argue that. but my take on it personally is that, when Hua Cheng’s a kid who really, actively wants to die and sees no reason for living, Xie Lian gives him a reason to keep going. he doesn’t have to live for himself—that’s too much, that’s too big of an ask—but he’s been given a command and purpose by the one person who’s been kind to him/whom he respects. it’s a little like... “My life has no meaning but my cat needs me to feed him and clean his litterbox and so I need to keep getting up and taking care of him even if I don’t see a larger intrinsic purpose to my life.”

and i think like...it’s easy to forget that for all of books 2 & 4, Hua Cheng is young. He doesn’t live past 18—he’s still like...a kid. And that’s not to say that teenagers/young adults can’t make moral and rational decisions but I’m going to be honest, when I was that age I contemplated joining the Air Force because of tuition assistance and the snazzy uniform despite the fact that I was a vocal pacifist and repeatedly got into arguments with teachers about school rules and conservative politics. It’s not like. The Most Rational and Mature Age, lbr.

so Wuming is absolutely capable of looking at what Xie Lian is doing and being like “hey maybe war crimes aren’t a great idea” but he is young and traumatized and the one person he believes in, the one person who gave him a reason to keep going, is deadset on this task which tbh I don’t think either of them (or...necessarily...the society in which they live) views as war crimes in the modern sense (which isn’t to say that we as readers should view it any more lightly bc i think the narrative directly and firmly contradicts that idea) but as revenge, as an eye-for-an-eye. so, bad, but character-wise, I think it’s more nuanced than we sometimes consider

anyway back to the fixation on xie lian. i stand by the assertion that in those 800 years, hua cheng wasn’t exclusively focused on xie lian. like was finding and serving him his top priority? oh god yes. undeniably. there is no other version of this story. BUT eight hundred years is like....a lot of time. and i think in that time he started doing things for himself, even if under the guise of serving xie lian. hua cheng is curious and adventurous—he clearly likes to learn even if he plays it off as nbd—and i think he starts to realize that about himself in those centuries even if he doesn’t allow himself to acknowledge or consider it.

POINT 3: Mt. Tong’lu in General

“okay, sure but what about the thousands of sculptures and murals of xie lian, curio. what the fuck about them.”

Yeah. FINE. okay we will DEAL with this. dealing with this is the entire reason i wrote “(like i do) in the tall grass.”

disclaimer: this is probably not supported by canon! i also. Do Not care. My Ghost King Now.

so I have two general avenues I take with this:

going back to the devotion > love — when Hua Cheng reaches MTL, he’s seen xie lian beaten and cast down. what do gods need to survive? worship! we see throughout how important divine statues/portraits/etc. are throughout canon. in this interpretation, the cave is a concentration of all that worship in an effort to support and serve xie lian and hua cheng doesn’t view himself like...as part of it. the sculptures could have been carved by any hand so long as they are xie lian and the worship and devotion that goes into their making can support and bolster him.

my personal favorite version: amNESIA IN THE CAVES —okay i don’t have the text pulled up rn but y’know how Guoshi says Hua Cheng was almost dispersed, in terrible condition, etc., when he reached Mt. Tong’lu. so if baby boy is in terrible condition, barely hanging on, etc., then my immediate favorite option is that he doesn’t, at that time, have even the...uh threadbare sense of self he did in life/as Wuming and is running on only a vague and urgent sense of Something driving him—something he has to do, someone he has to serve—and in that case, the paintings and sculptures are part of his trying to piece together and process his memories as he can grasp them and figuring out who he is/what his purpose is. Is this canonical? PROBABLY NOT. and yet here i am. firmly planted on this hill

Also w/ MTL I think a thing that’s often skated over is the mortals, creation of E’ming, and his ascension. Which is important from a meta lens of Hua Cheng and Xie Lian vs Jun Wu but that’s not the point of this rambling monstrosity and i’m trying not to get too distracted. ANYWAY I think this is one of those times when Hua Cheng does something that he would probably excuse as like “well His Highness would’ve wanted me to” or “His Highness wouldn’t have been willing to sacrifice the mortals” because Xie Lian is still largely his moral compass—but it also is a peek at the complexity Hua Cheng doesn’t acknowledge within himself.

uh i got distracted anyway and no longer know what point i was making here. Hua Cheng Ascension Important....maybe i will remember this at some other point...

POINT 4: Live For Me (Revisited)

I sort of got distracted writing that point but anyway coming back to it now: I maintain that although Hua Cheng’s primary pursuit is protecting and serving Xie Lian he also does develop/realize his Accidental Personhood throughout his 800 years. this includes a lot of things, as previously stated, that are under the guise of serving Xie Lian (I’d put learning the Banyue tongue, finding out about the Gilded Banquet, collecting swords, beating the 33 officials etc., in this category) and things that maybe could be but...are not really (e.g., his friendship alliance with He Xuan, Paradise Manor* in general, the Gambling Den, learning the Wuyong tongue, bullying Qi Rong*, bullying FengQing*, playing with gold foil palaces, etc.)

(*these are ones that like...could be said to be for Xie Lian and I think he might say are for Xie Lian but also have a personal element that is just for him.

Like yes Paradise Manor is a lavish and well-stocked residence fit for a god or crown prince...but it’s also a luxurious and extravagant collection of all the things he couldn’t have in life. it’s like giving a kid a credit card with no limit and letting them run wild through uh. Fuck. A Fancy Department Store.

And sure Qi Rong was awful and turned on Xie Lian in pretty damning ways, but I also genuinely think part of Hua Cheng’s grudge with him is from the childhood abuse and from just...hatred that Qi Rong is around and looks like Xie Lian and gets to be there when Hua Cheng can’t find Xie Lian (which is about Xie Lian but for Hua Cheng).

Similarly with FengQing, sure a lot of his hate is for them abandoning Xie Lian—but he doesn’t even know till Book 3 when they abandoned him, and consider how much more he hates Mu Qing, the guy he blames for kicking him out of the army, etc. Some of it is totally “in service” to Xie Lian but some of it is because Hua Cheng carries a grudge like a goddamn pro and finds catharsis in beating the shit out of immortals who bounce back and can’t stop tripping over themselves and onto his blade.)

#hua cheng #tgcf #tgcf meta #long post #i'm sorry i cannot be concise or clear with my thoughts :<#this is why i write fic #bc i can just mash these interpretations through prose and then they turn out more clearly #....i think #i hope anyway bc this sure as fuck isn't that clear

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shihalyfie · 4 years

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Shihanne’s Kizuna meta -- Part 1: The meaning behind Kizuna, and the actual cause of partnership dissolution

Kizuna is a very easy movie to misunderstand, and it’s not helped by the fact that the official translation kind of sucks. (Seriously, I highly recommend you check out the translation of one of the novels -- the Dash X or the Shueisha Mirai version -- because of how badly the official one sucks.) On top of that, a lot of its information is packed in the subtleties of a lot of its lines, which means that, without paying very close attention, you can walk off with a completely misleading interpretation of what the movie is trying to say. A lot of times I see people talking about how the movie’s message is about adulthood sucking, or partnership dissolution being an inevitable thing...when the movie actually makes multiple indications that this is not the case.

(The rest of the post contains major spoilers for the movie, so be warned.)

Do note that the below is only my personal interpretation, and because there is a lot to unpack with this movie, please feel free to disagree with or disregard any of my interpretations here.

Kizuna has a lot of things to say about adulthood, but the most obvious theme is, of course, “don’t be too trapped in nostalgia” -- represented by Menoa’s desire to trap everyone in Neverland so they can never move forward, and, on a meta level, the ridiculous amount of Adventure imagery associated with people who can’t move on (yeah, they weren’t really subtle about that part...). But as a result, the idea behind the movie is often taken the wrong way -- does this mean that they’re trashing on the very series they’re meant to honor? Is the movie about people having to swallow adulthood being painful? After all, the movie says that partners disappear when you become an adult! Isn’t the movie saying we all have to accept that (even though the sheer existence of the 02 epilogue should imply otherwise)?

Nope! The movie actually does have another inner layer about what it means to become an adult, and how to develop a healthy relationship with your adulthood that isn’t just violently cutting everything away -- in fact, it considers that to be another unhealthy extreme that it warns against. It’s just that this theme is a little more latently hidden, and you have to connect the dots a little to figure that out.

I think a lot of the reason so many people miss this is predicated on the fact that you are not supposed to take Menoa’s statement at face value. It’s her statement as presented in the official trailers and a lot of the advertising material, so it’s easy to think that she’s supposed to be the deliverer of the movie’s message, but that is very much not the case! Understanding this is key to understanding the core theme of the movie, and what it’s trying to say in terms of a lead-up to the 02 epilogue.

Menoa’s statement on adulthood, which is what the concept of partnership dissolution is supposedly predicated on, is the following (quoted from onkeikun’s translation of the Dash X Bunko novel, which uses the movie script):

Do all of you know why it’s children who are chosen to be partners with Digimon?... It’s because children are full of possibilities... The future is rife with limitless choices. You grow as a person by making those choices. “Growth” and “possibilities” together produce vast energy. As I’m sure you guys are already aware, the evolutions of your Digimon partners are triggered by your growth... When that power is gone… Your partnership with your Digimon ends.

Keep in mind that Menoa has built this “theory” based on her own experience. She’s convinced that her “choice” to become an adult was what took Morphomon from her. She’s convinced that Adulthood is Bad, and that Choices are Bad. Menoa is very much biased from her own experience, and her theory is not reliable. Seriously, do you think someone who eventually decides that forcing everyone into an eternal loop of their childhood is an excellent idea is a reliable source for these kinds of things?

Not only that, she’s also claiming that this is supposed to apply to all adults just because this happened to her. Although she claims that this is part of her research, there clearly have not been enough cases of partnership dissolution for this to be a well-known issue. Given that she lost Morphomon at a young age, and she’s one of the oldest Chosen Children, it’s natural that she might think that this might be a universal phenomenon and that it might not have “kicked in” for everyone else, but nevertheless, she’s committing a major no-no in scientific research -- extrapolating based on a painfully small sample size, and letting her own biased perception of events manipulate what she sees as the result.

When Gennai supposedly “confirms” the partnership dissolution phenomenon, note that he does not actually confirm Menoa’s theory.

Unfortunately, you are experiencing the case where your partnership is dissolving... But if you guys still have infinite possibility…Then it’s possible…

The fact that Gennai refers to it as a “case” is very important (it’s very clear in the Japanese line too, jirei). This is a thing that may happen. It is not a thing that is guaranteed to happen, and it’s not necessarily a thing that comes with adulthood like Menoa thinks. What’s more, he even acknowledges that “having infinite possibility” is still possible for adults -- something that doesn’t fit with Menoa’s theory on Adulthood Being Bad and how it diminishes possibility.

As the movie eventually goes into Menoa’s plan for “saving” Chosen Children, she justifies her motive by saying that losing partners is “fate” (shukumei). She thinks that losing partners is an inevitability. She thinks that this is just something that comes with adulthood, and that unless she forces everyone to stay in their childhood, their only recourse will be to suck it up and to be miserable.

This is why the climax is dedicated to Taichi and Yamato proving her wrong.

“What you’ve chosen wasn’t a mistake!” “But no matter what waits for us after making that choice…!” “We have to live with the decisions that we make!”... “We might not be able to change our fate. But!” “We can change our destiny!”

In essence, Taichi and Yamato are disproving both parts of Menoa’s theory on Adulthood Being Bad. It’s not that choices are inherently bad, it’s just that sometimes there are consequences of said choices...but it’s not like said consequences lead to dead ends. Taichi and Yamato, in contrast to Menoa’s belief in “fate”, believe in “destiny” (unmei) -- the difference being that they believe in being able to change that predetermined fate by their own efforts.

The concept had come up earlier in To Sora, too --

Hey, Sora-san. I think it was destiny that we became Chosen Children. But I don’t think it was fate.

It’s a completely different conversation, but Mimi is basically talking about the philosophy that pushes the Chosen Children forward -- that sure, some things seem to be predestined and beyond simple luck, but also that they’ve had choice in manipulating the events and changing what seems normally inevitable.

So if Menoa’s theory about partnerships dissolving in adulthood is questionable to begin with, then what does cause partnership dissolution? Again, it’s not actually established that this is something that happens to everyone. We only have four confirmed cases within the scope of the movie: Menoa herself, Taichi, Yamato, and Sora. So what do they have in common?

Well, the night before the ring appeared on Taichi and Yamato’s Digivices, they had this conversation:

“You should take Gabumon with you to your classes,” Taichi said jokingly. Yamato smiled wryly. “Don’t be stupid. Why don’t you take Agumon to your classes?” “It’s not that simple. I have my own life to live.”

And during the events of To Sora -- which presumably happened right before the ring appeared for Sora -- this happened:

When Piyomon had come to inform her that Koushiro had sent a message, Sora had said to her angrily, “Don’t bother me!” The distress and irritation of her practice not going well had caused Sora to take it out on her. But even when lashed out by that irrational anger, Piyomon had been the one who apologized. When she saw Piyomon hanging her head apologetically, Sora had felt a surge of regret but no room in her heart to apologize as well. “I need to focus on this right now…” She had said as her excuse, and looked away.

And in Menoa’s case, a certain something shows up in the Shueisha Mirai Bunko version of the novel -- it’s implied in the movie itself, but the novel itself says it pretty explicitly:

Waiting in front of the swing at her family’s home, where they’d always played together when Menoa was a child, was her beloved friend. Lately, she’d been studying so much that they hadn’t been talking to each other at all, so she wanted Morphomon to lavish her with praise. She wanted her to say, “Menoa, you’re amazing!”

See a pattern? All of the known cases of partnership dissolution involved neglect of their Digimon partners in pursuit of “adulthood”.

Taichi and Yamato ditched Agumon and Gabumon at the start of the movie and left them with their siblings. Agumon hadn’t even been to Taichi’s room before, even though Taichi lives by himself and is clearly lonely -- his reaction when Agumon finds his AVs, “you have to be an adult -- “ tells all, because he clearly thinks of Agumon as “a child” who shouldn’t be near his New Adult Life. Sora may have apologized later, but it sounds like there’s been a constant pattern of her starting to focus so much on her studies that she’s emotionally neglected Piyomon. And, of course, Menoa herself rushed so much to become “an adult” that she neglected her beloved partner in the process -- they weren’t even talking anymore! And the fact that the swing is discussed in past tense, when Menoa was a child, indicates that Morphomon may not be the only thing Menoa had tossed away in pursuit of “becoming an adult”.

(Note how Menoa constantly talked through the movie about the fact she and Morphomon had “always been together”, as if Morphomon had been ripped unfairly from her suddenly and for no reason...only for the revelation that Menoa was guilty of neglect to drop at the end. I repeat: Menoa is not a reliable person to be taking words at face value from.)

It really, really doesn’t seem like coincidence that Taichi and Yamato’s Digivice rings appeared the day after they flippantly laughed at the idea of taking Agumon and Gabumon to school because it would get in the way of “having their own lives to live”. Recall that Digimon in the Adventure universe have always generally been taken to represent an alter ego, or a part of oneself. (They were literally developed to represent part of the human soul in physical form.) On a symbolic level, your partner disappearing is representative of you losing touch with yourself -- and your own childhood innocence -- because of some arbitrary, societally-enforced standard of “becoming an adult”.

Fun side note? As mentioned in the movie, Eosmon is named after the Greek goddess of the dawn, who also has another interesting story about her: she fell in love with a mortal man and, not wanting him to die before her, requested that he be given eternal life, but neglected to ask that he be given eternal youth, and was forced to watch as her lover kept living on and on and withered further and further with age. Neglected the concept of youth, huh.

That’s why partnerships seem to dissolve with adulthood, but it’s not from the simple act of becoming an adult -- it happens when you take that adulthood and decide that you’re going to reject all of those “childish” things about yourself in pursuit of that goal, and lose yourself in the process. And sure, they may have tried to fix it right away, but these things aren’t just momentary moments of weakness; they build, and build, and build, and build, until you’re at the point of no return and need to take drastic measures to get it back.

And in fact, if you inspect the staff interviews (which have been, presumably, deliberately vague about this in the hopes of having the audience figure it out), they hint at it, too:

For this movie, we had the concept of "separation from their Digimon", which means being able to completely separate yourself from your past self, or rather, wondering if it might be better to cut yourself entirely from your past adventures in becoming more like an adult.

Not only that, but this explanation tracks much better than what Menoa claims is the case. Under Menoa’s explanation of choices diminishing possibilities, characters like Daisuke and Jou who had their paths already determined from an early age should have lost their partners a long time ago, and conversely, Taichi and Yamato, who weren’t sure on what to do with their lives at the beginning of the movie, should not have lost their partners. But “emotional neglect from the obsession with growing up” tracks even with our “outlier” cases -- Menoa “forced” herself to become an adult at the very-not-adult age of 14 and lost her partner, while Oikawa also didn’t actually get to “meet” Pipimon until he accepted that exact same thing -- that he needed to embrace the “power to dream” instead of considering himself a “tainted adult”.

(Ichijouji Ken, who could be argued to be guilty of emotional neglect of Wormmon in some sense, initially seems like a violation of this principle, but closely observing the Kaiser’s behavior during 02 indicates an often paradoxical thread of behavior implying that he seemed to have been rejecting and yet wanting him nearby at the same time, which is part of the reason Wormmon’s death breaks him so badly. In fact, it often feels like he goes out of his way to acknowledge Wormmon for the specific purpose of rejecting him. In a metaphorical sense, knowing that Wormmon is representative of Ken’s own inner self, the metaphor of Ken being in perpetual internal conflict of constantly trying to outwardly reject his own heart for being “weak” yet never truly being able to escape it until he’s finally forced to accept it for good is not lost. It was not a positive relationship with Wormmon by any means, but it was, nevertheless, a conscious and active relationship, for which “neglect” does not feel like an appropriate word.)

When you look back at Menoa’s life and backstory, it then becomes clear how she made her mistake in her theory. Menoa basically threw away her childhood in order to become an adult, and she never learned to embrace the happy medium between having an unhealthy attachment to the past and violently cutting it off. Late in the movie, she claims that there’s nobody else who understands how she feels, and we also learn in her flashback that she had an obsession with doing things “on her own”, or in other words, she cut off any potential friends or people who could help her (Morphomon seems to have legitimately been her only friend and confidant). So in her mind, “losing touch with your inner self and having no connection to the happiness of your childhood” is fundamentally synonymous with becoming an adult. That’s how she develops her mentality of “adulthood is drudgery and has no value, and we’d be better off never getting there” -- and that adulthood strips people of possibilities and therefore provides no recourse from losing your Digimon partner, and that the only way to reclaim anything from your childhood is to just shove yourself back into its box. Her own life had no such hope in it, so she projects that lack of hope onto everyone else.

With that in mind, the two major questions that come from this:

Will this happen to everyone? Hard to say, but I don’t think it would necessarily. Remember, even though Menoa is one of the oldest Chosen Children and had this happen to her at an abnormally early age, not everyone has such an unhealthy relationship with adulthood, nor is as likely to neglect their partners nearly as much in the process of figuring out what adulthood means to them. That doesn’t mean that those it does happen to made some “mistake” or “messed up”, though -- press materials and the BD commentary made it clear that this was not a movie intended to endorse “one way to live”, and sometimes the degree of introspection and experimentation with what adulthood means to you does result in momentarily trying to cut things away until you figure your life balance out, especially if you want to take on a challenge with as high of a hurdle as Taichi’s road to becoming a diplomat.

So what’s the solution? Although it’s still left to everyone’s imagination to figure out the details, at the very least, figuring out yourself and snapping yourself out of this very unhealthy relationship with “growing up” and holding yourself to arbitrary, false standards is probably a great start! Menoa had her “vision” of Morphomon the moment Taichi and Yamato’s words reached her within Eosmon. Gennai specifically says that partnership dissolution will cause the Digimon to disappear in terms of losing their “form” (sugata), but given that Digimon in the Adventure universe are supposed to represent a part of yourself, they’re probably still there (just not there)! In that light, getting them back...is probably not actually all that hard, if they can sit down and take some time to figure themselves out. That’s why Menoa never figured it out this whole time in the last eight years; she was so busy focusing on “scientific” ways to get Morphomon back, and staying perpetually stuck in a twisted nostalgic version of her past, that she never actually sat down to think about herself and what she was doing. And that’s why the movie’s climax is about Taichi blowing the whistle to wake everyone up -- it’s still about moving forward, but it’s about using your past to move forward, instead of gravitating to the extremes of either latching onto it eternally or attempting to abandon it outright.

So really, the solution is for everyone to get some damn therapy.

Given that, the path to the 02 epilogue doesn’t actually seem that particularly difficult compared to how Menoa made the problem initially sound like. It’s not like every adult is going to inevitably have this happen as a process, and thus it’s not like everyone has to find some magical technical solution that’ll rectify one of the laws of the universe. The solution is really more somewhere between the unhealthy extremes presented in the movie -- Menoa’s fixation on nostalgia and the past being the only good thing in her life, and Taichi and Yamato (initially) rejecting said childhoods in favor of “adulthood” -- and figuring out how to use and cherish your childhood, past experiences, and inner self to move forward.

And given Sora’s revelation in To Sora about taking care of herself more, and Taichi and Yamato starting to settle on their career decisions for real by the end of Kizuna, they’re already on their way to figuring things out. Or, in other words, it’s likely that they’ll get their partners back simply through the natural course of making their way to the epilogue. Taichi’s starting to value his childhood experiences as important in his future work in diplomacy. Yamato, according to the Shueisha Mirai version of the novel, is becoming an astronaut to entertain the “romantic” dream of going to space with Gabumon. Sora, as per the 02 epilogue, will end up known not for being an iemoto heir but a kimono designer -- a skill that she’s presumably going to be discovering on her own, and not under obligations to others. Gennai himself said that there was hope as long as they still had “infinite possibility” -- something that Taichi, Yamato, and Sora were closing up on themselves at the beginning of this movie, but were starting to re-open the door to again once they started reconnecting with themselves and embarking on some proper paths by the end of it.

“We’ll definitely come to see you” -- indeed, they will.

(Next is the sequel to this meta, where I discuss Kizuna’s relationship with not only 02′s epilogue but also 02 itself as a whole, and the reason the 02 group has such an unusual position in this movie.)

#digimon #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #shihameta #kizuna spoilers

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colorseeingchick · 4 years

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Oh Baby! A series (Sugawara x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Sugawara loves to play-hide-and-seek with your nieces and nephews, almost as much as he loves them. But this usually light game has real stakes when you, your brother, and your sister-in-law decide to get involved. What does Suga win in this special game?

Warnings: Fluffy fluff, mentions of pregnancy

Word Count: 4k

A/N: I have severe baby fever and time is a construct. This is on the longer end but I think its worth it :) Hope y’all enjoy! <3

Tired. That was the only possible way you could describe the way your husband looked as he stepped through the door of your brother’s home. His tie loose and shirt half untucked- he radiated exhaustion. But right here and right now, there’s something important that’s about to occur. And Sugawara Koushi would be at its forefront.

“This is for you, Koushi-ojisan.” Your eldest niece, Tsubaki, bowed as she offered a folded piece of paper to your husband, who froze in the process of sluggishly sliding on his house slippers.

Suga shot you and your sister-in-law a questioning glance as he hesitantly received the piece of paper. Your sister-in-law feigned an innocent look, and you just shrugged your shoulders, pushing yourself to hold back your mischievous smirk.

“Ne, what is this Tsubaki-chan?” The initial tiredness that had weighed down on his face had receded, being replaced with a burning curiosity and loving smile.

“It’s to make our game of hide-and-seek more fun. You’ll play with us today, right Ojisan?” Tsubaki shyly smiled at her uncle, a plea subtly being communicated through her gaze.

Of course he would play with his nieces and nephews. Even if he wanted to say no (which, obviously, he would never do), how could he ever reject those eyes?

You and Suga had been married for quite a few years now, but you had been together for a long time before that. Soon after you two started dating, Suga had become best friends with your older brother. Moreover, you were very close with your brother’s girlfriend as well. So the four of you were inseparable.

That continued into your married lives. You and Suga would invite over your brother and his wife once a week on Friday, spending the time to go out to restaurants, do game nights, or just watch movies. However, as time went on, the family dynamic shifted as your brother had his first child. And then the next one. They were now up to 4 kids, the oldest being 7 years old, the youngest at 2. Double dates became Ghibli Studio binges and babysitting time.

Not that either of you minded, though. Your nieces and nephews were all angels, and you and Suga both loved caring for children. You and Suga had been trying for kids of your own for a while, but for the longest time, things didn’t seem to be in your favor. Suga knew that you felt responsible and that it weighed down on you, so he always kept his spirits high for you both. But you knew your beloved husband too well- he wanted a baby as badly as you, if not more.

“Of course I’ll play with you guys,” Suga ruffled her hair, tightly holding the paper in his other hand.

“I’m assuming Sumire-chan, Fumio-chan, and Mizu-chan are already hiding then?” He asked, glancing around the room to see if he could see any poorly hidden heads or tiny movements.

“Y-yes...When you find them make sure you ask them for their papers, okay?” Before Suga could answer, she quickly turned around and scurried to the kitchen and grabbed her father’s leg, tugging on the fabric. “Did I do okay Otou-san?” She whispers quietly.

Her father gives her a big smile and nods, patting her head. A hint of a smile pulls up at your lips as well. Tsubaki was the oldest of the group, and such a good older sister to her siblings, but she was yours and Suga’s lil princess. When you asked the kids to help you out when you arrived at the house that day, she was the most enthusiastic about making her Ojisan happy.

Suga opened the folded piece of paper in his hands, very curious as to what this was all about. On the white piece of paper, in his niece’s bubbly and straight handwriting, was written:

“for giving us another.”

His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, and his head instinctively tilted. That told him absolutely nothing. But he could conclude that there was some bigger message. They were all too small to come up with something like a scavenger hunt/hide-and-seek game, so he knew it was the doing of the three suspicious-looking adults watching him intently.

What are you all planning? Suga asked with his eyes, eye contact jumping between all three of you. Hide and seek was the kids’ tradition with Suga. Without fail, they would beg him to play EVERY Friday when you guys came over. And without fail, he would always agree. It was his game with the kids. But it seems like the adults had a hand in the game this time around. It was a competition with them, too. Alright then, game on.

Now, there are some things you have to know about this household’s version of hide and seek. The kids have numbered them as rules and made a nice little poster to go along with them, that way everyone would know them.

Rule 1! Suga Oji-san will always be the first one to seek.

Because, for some reason, Suga Oji-san was also a master hide-and-seeker, there was an extra rule when he was seeking.

Rule 2! When Suga Oji-san is seeking, he has to do it in 15 minutes, or else we win!!

“Tsubaki-chan!~ when does my time start?” He calls out to the little girl, but his eyes are trained on you.

Tsubaki looks up to her father because she forgot to keep track (oops).

“You’re down a minute, Koushi,” your brother responds, leaning against the table in the kitchen.

“You know, if you don’t find all the kids in that time, you may not get all the pieces of paper,” your sister-in-law chimed in, teasingly, at which you chuckled.

Suga quirked an eyebrow, his competitive spirit really getting riled up now. “Tsubaki-chan, are you gonna come help me find the others?” He put his bag down by the door itself and started to quickly move towards the stairs.

Rule 3! Once found, you have to help the seeker find the other hiders.

Tsubaki scurried back to her Oji-san, happily (but quietly) saying, “Let’s go find Sumire-chan and Fumio-chan,” as she pulled his hand, leading him up the stairs.

Suga knew that he genuinely couldn’t lose this time around. Sure, he could usually find the kids easily because they rotated through the same spots, but he always made a spectacle of trying to find them, loudly expressing how lost he was. Sometimes he would even lose on purpose. But not today, knowing that the adults would hold to their word of not letting him see the last piece of paper if he wasn’t in time. Sumire, first on the list of kids to find, had also gotten better at hiding now that she was older, and Suga wouldn’t be surprised if her father helped her find a new hiding space.

“Ne, Tsubaki-chan, do you know if Sumire-chan is hiding in the spare guest bedroom?”

“Oh uh, I-I don’t know…” she pushed up her glasses and tugged on her sweater.

He’s taking that as a yes. “Let’s go check.”

Usually, she hid under the bed or burrowed beneath a pile of pillows that sat by the headboard, but she was in neither location. Suga pursed his lips, hands falling to his hips. “Sumire-chan is almost always in this room! But I can’t find her anywhere. She must be a master hider, I swear,” he proclaims, leaning against the wall. The closet door that was mostly closed didn’t mask the muffled giggle that carried in the air.

“Tsubaki-chan, is that a… monster in the closet?” He gasps dramatically, as he pushes the door open slightly, just in case Sumire was behind the door. The giggling from the closet mixed with Tsubaki’s as they found Suga Oji-chan’s commentary hilarious.

There, hiding in the corner of the closet with spare pillows and stuffed animals covering everything but her face, Sumire was now giggling uncontrollably.

“I’m not a monster, Oji-san~~~!”

“You’re right,” Suga responds as he pulls the pillows and stuffed toys off her body, pulling her arms lightly to help her stand up, “you’re Sumire-chan!” he cheers, pulling her into a hug, which she joyously returns.

“Sumire!” Tsubaki whisper shouts. “The paper!”

“Oh! Oji-san take this~!” she pulls the piece of paper out from her overall’s front pocket and holds it up to him.

Suga takes the paper and opens it to read-

“Thank you”

-written in neat cursive, resembling his sister-in-law’s writing.

“For giving us another” and “thank you.” Yeah, I still have no idea what this means. He just has to find the other two pieces, then. No point in overthinking.

“Tsubaki-chan, did Otou-san give you the timer to carry?”

Yes, there is an official stopwatch they carry for this game. That’s how seriously they take hide and seek.

“Mmhm! You have 8 minutes left, Oji-san.”

“No time to waste, huh? Ok, let’s go find Fumio-chan then.” He slides the pieces of paper into his pocket and offered his hands for the little girls to hold, although Sumire opted to just hold his two fingers instead- it was easier for her smol hands (I love when children do that 🥺💖).

As you put your mug into the sink while carrying out conversations with your brother, you watch Suga and the two little girls descend from the stairs, their tiny hands gently clasped in Suga’s. As they reach the bottom they dash to your brother, leaning against his legs. Suga makes eye contact with you and smirks lightly, his competitive spirit shining through.

“Found Sumire, hmm?” You taunt, knowing that he took a little longer than usual. This game that usually had no stakes had insanely high stakes, which Suga had no cognizance of, so you try to be as unassuming as possible.

“I did!” He taunts back, but his eyes drop to her and his voice softens. “She did a good job hiding, though.” You turn just in time to see her whole face light up. Your heart bursts at the sight. You both would die for these kids. From when Tsubaki was born to Mizu’s first steps, you and Suga had been there to see a lot of it and raise them in part.

“The next target is Fumio. But I have no idea where he is!!” Raising his voice at the last part, he looks around dramatically, eliciting a giggle from the two little girls.

Fumio is almost always in the kitchen- during hide and seek and even outside the bounds of the game (baby loves food). Suga monologues, opening the pantry and turning on the lights.

Would he go somewhere entirely different to throw me off?

Well, no. The point of the game IS for Suga to win (this time around).

So where is he?

The girls let out another round of giggles when Suga opens the fridge to look for Fumio, and you and your brother can’t help but chuckle as well.

“Ne, Ni-san,” Suga calls to your brother. “Can you give me a hint to where Fumio-chan might be?”

“I don’t know,” he pulls his mug away from his face. “Do you think I should help Oji-san?” He looks down at his girls.

Little Sumire nods her head aggressively and Tsubaki quietly responds, “Yes!”

“Koushi-kun. You remember when Fumio was like, 2 and would crawl everywhere?” your brother starts.

How could any of you forget? The kid ended up hiding unintentionally in all the worst places. Underneath desks, behind the couch, inside the dishwasher- it was endless. But there was one place above all he loved to hide…

Suga’s eyes met your brother’s, lighting up with understanding.

“Fumio loves helping put away the dishes, right Tsubaki-chan?” Suga walks around to the other side of the kitchen, where you were now standing next to all the cupboards filled with cooking pots.

“But sometimes he puts himself away, with the pots, too.” He was right. Fumio would put a pot away and push it all the way to the back of the cabinet, only to crawl in after it. How he found the spot comfy, none of you understood. But it made for some very cute photos.

“Fumio thinks he’s a pot!” Sumire chimes in.

“So I should check where all the pots are, shouldn’t I?” With that, Suga opens the (already slightly open) cabinet, to reveal a little boy with his hands over his mouth (concealing giggles) and a pot on his head. Suga smiles and lifts the 3-year-old out of the cabinet, pot sliding down and covering the child’s eyes.

“Look! Fumio-chan is a pothead!!” Sumire cries out.

All three of you burst out laughing, your brother almost spitting out his hot chocolate.

“Su-Sumire-chan don’t say that okay? It means something different,” you try and talk without dissolving into giggles again.

“Hmm? But he has a pot on his head. What else could it mean?” She looked extremely confused and you couldn’t even fault her for it.

“You’ll find out when you’re older,” your brother’s classic way of shutting down unwanted topics (for now).

Fumio, on the other hand, was just glad to be in his uncle’s arms, surrounded by his favorite pots.

“Oji-san, here!” Fumio giggled as he held the piece of paper up above his head with both hands. Suga pulled the boy against his body, opting to hold him with his left arm, while receiving and reading the piece of paper with his right.

“To play with”

-was all that was written on the small piece, this time clearly in your brother’s handwriting.

“Thank you for giving us another… to play with.” Suga’s hand goes slack as his eyebrows furrow in thought. What did I give them to play with? Did I buy them a toy recently? Was I supposed to buy them something!?

The little boy in Suga’s hand notes the pensive look his Oji-san had-- leading to the boy’s decision to poke his Oji-san’s face, right on his beauty mark. “You have to find Mizu-chan!!” He cries, his smol finger gently pressing into Suga’s cheek.

Your brother gently tilts the watch in Tsubaki’s hands. “2 minutes, Koushi.”

“2 minutes!” A lot more time actually elapsed than he expected. “Let’s go find Mizu-chan then! Come on, Tsubaki-chan, Sumire-chan!”

Suga hands Fumio over to you, taking the pot off his head and placing it on the table. He reaches his hands out to the girls again, both of whom accept gladly. And with that, he bounds back into the living room where your sister-in-law still waits.

“One minute, Oji-san!” Sumire calls out this time, genuinely concerned her uncle won’t make it in time.

But there’s another unspoken rule that’s been accepted by all the participants that ensures Suga’s success.

Rule 4! The baby gets to be found last.

Mizu was just 2 years old. He didn’t understand the concept of winning or losing. He just liked it when other people played with him. But the older kids did understand winning. And just like Suga, they were quite competitive. This rule was made to teach them that being nice to those who can’t play as much (like a baby) is more important than winning.

With this stipulation, Mizu consistently hid in the same spot for every single game. Without fail, in the small woven basket used to house all the family blankets, the baby boy would sit in silence, his mom right next to him on the couch it lays adjacent to.

Suga was gonna draw it out, though. If it's not a show for the kids, then was there really a point?

You and your brother (who now had his turn at holding Fumio) watched as Suga ran behind the TV, searched beneath the table, and moved pillows on the couch searching for the baby of the family.

“30 seconds!”

“I have no idea where Mizu is! What should I do?”

Sumire’s face is flushed with worry and excitement as she runs up to him and grabs his hand with both of her own, pulling him towards the blankie basket. “Oji-san! He hides here usually! Hurry before time runs out!”

You sit down onto the arm of the couch as Suga stares at the woven basket.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…”

“Found you!!!” Suga pulls the cover of the basket away, triggering an endless stream of baby giggles from little 2-year-old Mizu. Suga picks up Mizu and his stuffed bear that he had been clinging onto.

“Oji-san wins!!” Sumire jumps up and down, hopping onto her mother’s lap. Tsubaki opts to sit on the floor, ready to watch what was to come. At this point, you and your brother are also sitting on the couch, your anxiousness raising in your belly.

“So where’s that last piece of paper….” Suga scans the baby for any pockets when he realizes it's tucked into the ribbon around the neck of the bear in his hands.

“I’ll take him,” your sister in law says as she gently puts Sumire on the side, grabbing Mizu from Suga before sitting down again.

Suga slides the slip of paper out from the bear’s ribbon and sits onto his knees, retrieving the other pieces of paper from his pockets.

“Ready for the big reveal?” He asked the kids in tone of voice, but the adults through eye contact. Although he had no doubts all the adults already knew the message.

Tsubaki nodded in agreement while Fumio’s eyes were trained on his Oji-san. Sumire was fidgety.

“Alright! So it says, ‘Thank you...’ ‘for giving us…’” he places the little slips onto the floor, leaving a gap for the 3rd piece. “...Something ‘to play with.’ Let’s see what I gave you guys to play with.” The final piece was now being flipped over in his fingers. He was killing himself with the suspense. “Thank you for giving us another-” he drops the last piece into line with the others, “-FRIEND… to play with…”

Though the words came out of Suga’s mouth, he didn’t process what they had meant right away. For once, the fun and playful Koushi oji-san had dropped his usual playful demeanor for one of complete shock.

A...a friend?

Your nerves were now skyrocketing as you felt your brother squeeze your arm in a calm and reassuring manner. You get up, arms hugging yourself as you slowly approach Suga, who was dumb struck on the floor.

But before you could speak, Tsubaki spoke up, scooching towards Suga, tugging on his arm sleeve.

“Oji-san, remember when I asked you if you and Y/N Oba-san had any babies I could be friends with, and you told me we would have to wait a while?” Suga’s eyes moved to the little girl, wide in surprise. In honesty, her words caught you and your brother off guard as well.

She remembered that? It was a conversation from around when Fumio was a few months old, and you and Suga had been trying so hard for a child then. She asked Suga if she could play with your kids, somehow convinced that you guys were hiding your own children from meeting her. It crushed you both internally, but you had smiled as Suga told her “Oba-san and I don’t have any friends for you now. But I promise we will give you another friend to play with as soon as we can! You might have to wait for a while though.” He had ruffled her hair and smiled, but it was pained. Though she was young and didn’t understand why, she knew that what she had said had hurt Koushi oji-san, one of her favorite people. You assumed your sister-in-law had told her to just not ask you or Suga about it again, but you never assumed she actually held onto the memory.

Suga just looked at Tsubaki, waiting for her to continue.

“... well… Oba-san said that she has a baby in her tummy… and that when it comes out we can be friends… so we wanted to say thank you for keeping your promise, Oji-san.”

Everything goes still. Even the small children sitting in the room, Mizu now sleeping on his mother’s shoulder while Fumio and Sumire hugged each other, aware of the frozen air...

...until Suga lets out a shuttered breath. You look at him, watching tears stream down his eyes, and you exhale a breath you didn’t know you had been holding.

“Yes, Tsubaki-chan, I told you we would keep our promise,” he jumps up, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around. She starts laughing and he laughs too. Before you know it your body starts shaking from giggles and tears that can’t help but escape you. You can hear your sister-in-law crying as well, and feel your brother’s arm pull you into a hug, a bright smile plastered across his face.

Your sister-in-law had come with you to your doctor’s appointment 3 weeks prior to confirm the pregnancy. However, you wanted to hold off on telling Suga just to increase the chances of the pregnancy carrying through. You couldn’t bear the thought of telling him only to lose the baby mid pregnancy- that would absolutely crush him. So while waiting, you decided to come up with a fun way to tell him, getting your nieces and nephews in on the plan in the process. Although your brother and sister had known, neither had really processed the information. And neither had you. Not until this moment.

Suga put Tsubaki down and approached you, face completely tear-stained and smile bright as the sun. You always somehow got lost in his beautiful features, and now you felt lost in the happiness radiating off of him. You let him engulf you in his arms, kissing your forehead while his tears rolled onto your face.

“We finally did it, love.” He whispers.

You push your face into his button-up shirt, inhaling his cologne and the reminiscent smell of detergent.

“We did,” you murmur against him.

“Wait, Oji-san and Oba-san are gonna have a baby?!” You hear a surprised Sumire ask loudly. Evidently, she had been a bit out of the loop and Tsubaki one-san had to fill her in a bit.

“Yes, Sumi, we are having a baby,” you respond, turning your head to look at her but not letting go of Suga.

You watch the realization dawn on her, turning to Fumio. “Fumio there’s another baby coming!” She jumps up and down once more, spreading her excitement to the little boy who starts clapping and jumping with her.

“Ba-by! Ba-by! Ba-by!” the two cheer while Tsubaki tries to shush them, Mizu still fast asleep.

“Alright you two, shhh! Time for dinner. You can cheer more after dinner,” your sister-in-law chides as she heads to the kitchen.

“Who’s ready for some ramen?”

“Ra-men! Ra-men!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once dinner was over, a movie was watched, the children were put to bed, and dishes put away, you and Suga say bye to your brother and sister-in-law.

“Goodnight Ni-chan!” you say as you watch him close the door.

“Night Y/N-chan, Koushi-kun.” He waves a final goodbye.

As you approach the passenger side of the car, you feel a hand lightly tug your wrist. You turn around to have Suga wrap his one arm around you while guiding your face to his as he gives you a slow and loving kiss. As you pull away, Suga buries his face into the crook of your neck, his smile pressed against your skin.

“We’ve waited for so long, Y/N… and now it’s finally happened.”

You pet his hair and snuggle against his head. “I know, Koushi. And it will be wonderful. You’re going to be the best dad out there.”

“And you’re gonna be a wonderful mom.”

You both stand there for a minute, bodies warm in each other’s embrace and hearts warm in the realization of your shared dream.

“But you know, our baby’s gonna be really lucky,” you giggle.

Suga pulls away to look at your face. “Why is that?”

You put a hand on your stomach.

“Baby is going to have a lot of wonderful friends to play with, always.”

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ledamemangociana · 3 years

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BIG BNHA STAGE PLAY NEWS

okay hi 👋 if you've been enjoying my BNHA Ultra Stage gifsets and you want to know where you can watch the show, this post is for you.

There's going to be an online event called JAPAN 2.5D STAGE PLAY WORLD 2021 happening althroughout August, with the intent of "Bringing Japan's 2.5D stage performances to the world." It's the first time they're doing it and they're rolling out the gate with their big guns.

The event will showcase three of the most popular 2.5D stage plays from the last handful of years - LIVE SPECTACLE: NARUTO from 2016, Boku No Hero Academia: The Ultra Stage from 2019, and Sailormoon: The Musical Nogizaki46 version from. 2019. each show will be available for streaming WITH OFFICIAL ENGLISH SUBTITLES for about a week each, starting with Naruto in the first week of August.

Each viewing is only 15USD and WILL NOT REQUIRE A VPN. you just need to choose which country/timezone and date you want to watch, and if you miss the live broadcast on your schedule, the VOD will be available within 24 hours of your chosen timeslot.

This is a pretty big opportunity coz 2.5D shows have been slowly gaining popularity outside of Japan, but also because in Japan, the 2.5D industry isnt entirely lucrative despite its popularity with local anime fans. It's been said that the cast and staff dont get paid during rehearsals, and really only start getting anything from ticket and merch sales, so sometimes some actors and crew members would do more than one show at once or back-to-back, which is tough considering these shows tour major cities across the country for an average of 30 performances. And then of course the pandemic caused ALL active shows in March 2020 to shut down, as expected, and because times were hard, some shows began performing again by August or September last year, despite the pandemic continuing to rage on in most of big cities in Japan where 2.5D shows tour, meaning cast and crew were all basically risking their lives to make money and entertain fans - in fact, some shows had to either recast, reschedule or cancel when anyone in their cast or staff caught the virus (i know Haikyuu had to recast for their October 2020 show coz two people caught COVID, and the 2nd BNHA stage play, which only got to play 4 performances before the lockdowns, got pushed back even further into 2021 because at least two people in the staff caught COVID). 2.5D shows dont usually stream outside the country, and DVDs/blu rays and merch are only sold in Japan, so international fans have had to pay more than an extra pretty penny or two to support the shows and to help spread the word internationally. The fact that 2.5D shows like BNHA, Naruto, HAIKYUU, etc. started being available to stream online in Japan is a big enough deal on its own, and the reason some of them became available to stream internationally during the pandemic is kind of a sign of how the industry needed a boost, financially and otherwise. So this paid event is a FANTASTIC opportunity to support the industry and the people who work in it while also spreading the word to more fans, in the hopes that 2.5D shows will become as much of a tenet in international anime fandom as it is in Japan's anime fandom. If this does well, it might mean that future shows will become more accessible to international fans as well.

So if you're a fan of BNHA or any of these other anime, PLEASE spread the word and support this event! I've obviously seen the BNHA musical (my sister bought a DVD in 2019) and it is a LOT of fun, i can promise that much. i know the Naruto musical was also BIG BIG HYPE when it came out in 2016, and i think the Sailormoon musical already had a beloved legacy and history on stage before the 2019 version came out. It's gonna be really good if this got a LOT of international support, so please tell your friends and fellow anime fans 😁

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #naruto #sailormoon #herosute #hirosute #PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE watch these u gaize 🥺#im out here begging for money for myself AND for these shows coz these shows deserve to be supported #AND BY THST I DONT MEAN IM ASKING FOR MONEY SO I CAN WATCH IT LOL

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thejustmaiden · 4 years

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Heyo, fellow Inuyasha fans! Happy Friday! This particular blog will serve as a collection of random thoughts I’ve been mulling over lately. Hope you’ll consider giving it a read. By the way, it’ll specifically pertain to the Sessrin ship. If that’s not something that is of interest to you, then no need to read any further. Whatever happens, I wanted to get this out before the sequel. Alrighty, let’s go!

I’m not sure many of us realize just how much fiction sparks public dialogue and shapes culture. There have been countless studies and research done to prove it, therefore this really isn’t up for debate. What the real question here should be is have we taken the time to fully contemplate and assess just how much fictional experiences are able to change or influence our perspective on real, everyday life? The visual arts are just one of many evolutionary adaptations that serve to give us more insight into one another’s mind. If our outlook on fiction contrasts with said insight, then perhaps some re-evaluating is in order.

Powerful works of literature such as 1984 and the beloved Harry Potter series are just two examples. George Orwell’s book contributed strongly to how readers viewed government and politics during that time, and to this day it’s a book that resonates with many. As much as Harry Potter is cherished all across the world, there are religious and academic institutions that condemn it or have even gone so far as to ban it. I may not agree with the extreme measures taken, but it’s fascinating nonetheless to witness the extent to which fiction can move and mobilize people for a cause.

The takeaway is that indicating fiction doesn’t have the power to create change in our everyday lives is misleading to say the least. So how exactly then can fictional stories that are, after all, completely made up affect society in such profound ways? It all lies in the power of the psychology of fiction. According to cognitive psychologist and novelist, Keith Oatley, who’s been researching the psychological effects of fiction for over a decade, he states that engaging with stories about other people can improve empathy and theory of mind. When we identify with these characters’ struggles, we begin to share their frustration for societal problems that plague them. These types of stories tap into our emotions more so than- believe it or not- nonfiction, and thus their effects inspire us and even have the ability to alter our worldviews.

I’ll be returning to that specific topic a bit later, but moving on for now!

It’s safe to say that I speak on behalf of the majority of antis. That being said, I first want to add that we are aware that sessrin shippers claim to agree that there was nothing inherently romantic that took place between Rin and Sesshomaru during their travels together. The thing is we have trouble believing you guys when you time and time again provide contradictory statements to defend your stance.

Voicing things like, “all signs point to Rin” and “it’s been foreshadowed” sends the exact opposite message of what you supposedly stand for and, if anything, confirms that you’ve had romance on your mind long before it would’ve been acceptable to come out with openly. You can’t just go along with what we say when it’s convenient to your argument and then back it up later with “who else but Rin.” How can the relationship you’re imagining be so obvious if they didn’t hint at it for the whole duration of the original series like we agreed upon? Elaborate on how we could’ve possibly come to such wildly different conclusions when we started AND left off with the same views for and throughout the series.

On top of that, making the excuse that we don’t speak for adult!Rin and that she has the right to make her own decisions once she’s old enough is a weak defense. Firstly, because we haven’t even met her. Secondly, because it’s unfair of you to assert that you know what’s best for Rin and then say we’re not allowed to just because it doesn’t align with your beliefs. I get that you feel protective over her character, but do recall that this adult version of her none of us have actually met yet. We have no idea what kind of woman she’s become, what her dreams or aspirations may be, and whether she’s married or even wants to be. I’m not against the idea of her falling in love, I just don’t think it’ll be with Sesshomaru. I guess I’m also a fan of the idea of her following in Kaede’s footsteps, because if anyone can grow up to be an independent, trusted, and wise leader of the community like her it’s Rin.

To make matters worse, way too many of you continue to celebrate the drama cd and profess that it was sweet that Sesshomaru basically promised he’d wait for Rin all while somehow ignoring the glaring grooming implications. Why do you only see what you want to see and fail to acknowledge that actual child grooming scenarios do in fact play out like this in real life? A high percentage of people who have been victims of grooming can attest to this. If Sessrin does go canon, all the sequel succeeded in doing to avoid the direct correlation with grooming was skip over the more questionable and dodgy portions of it. Take out the time jump, however, and you no longer have a loophole to cover up the scary unmistakable truth, which is that Sessrin and grooming are essentially one in the same.

No one case is identical to another so please don’t come to me with your “but how is it grooming if Sesshomaru didn’t manipulate Rin” refutes. Nobody knows what the hell went on during those years between The Final Act and this upcoming sequel. Based on everything exhibited so far- that is if we decide to recognize the drama cd like so many of you choose to do- Sessrin’s dynamic is eerily reminiscent of real life child grooming. Why else do you think a lot of us fans have a huge problem with it? It’s triggering for a reason.

Let’s be honest, Sesshomaru’s supposed love confession could’ve just been the first of many gestures like it. Who really knows, right? According to you shippers, a major shift in their relationship took place sometime during this critical period none of us got to watch unfold. I’m sure you all have explored the various ways this would’ve gone down in fan fiction and through other creative means of expression. Not to spoil the fun, but all I can’t help but wonder about is just how many of those supposed “cute moments” would’ve been as creepy and cringey as that proposal. Hundreds of thousands (possibly millions?!) of fans would undoubtedly agree with me, too. It seems to me this ain’t due to a mere difference of opinion. Taste is one thing, ethics a whole other.

By the way, in case you didn’t know, groomers don’t necessarily need to plan out every single move in order for their behavior to constitute as grooming. What we should be paying attention to instead is the fact that Sesshomaru made a conscious decision to act on his own selfish desire for a young girl who couldn’t have possibly known in that moment the magnitude of what he was asking of her. Why is it that a vulnerable Rin is put in a position that forces her to be the one responsible for making such a big, life-changing decision for the both of them? Yes, Sesshomaru gave her the choice and, yes, she doesn’t have to make it till later, but why on Earth is he coming to her with this well before a child her age is ready and mature enough to handle it? Even if his intentions are good (broadly speaking of course), his what you shippers probably call “innocent acts” are incidentally coercing Rin into reciprocating his feelings. Whether he planned for that or not, he’s at fault. Period.

That’s one way the power imbalance works. A child wants nothing more than to please the adult they look up to and adore, because they’re impressionable like that. Maybe Rin processes this like she’ll want whatever he wants, so that’s what she trains herself to believe- either right then and there or over time. Plus, if you really think about it, why wouldn’t she trust him if in her eyes he’s been nothing but good to her and that’s all she’s ever really known? (Psst! Charm is integral to the manipulative nature of grooming so it’s deceiving AKA manipulation can come off as praise or flattery.) Bottom line is that Rin is too young to have to think about this kind of deep stuff at all, and Sesshomaru shouldn’t have taken advantage of the power he had/has over her to influence a decision she was by no means prepared to hear about much less decide on. Your headcanons seem to imply that she’ll eventually have to choose though, and Idk about you but I rather not push my own fantasy agenda onto a underage girl regardless of how much I want it. Idc if she’s fictional, it wouldn’t feel right so why would I want to see that? My principals couldn’t ever allow for it.

Even if it wasn’t an official proposal, per se, it’s still disturbing to me that so many of you find joy in the thought of a grown adult male essentially waiting for a young girl HE KNEW to become old enough before pursuing her. I know this drama cd ain’t technically canon, y'all, but since this is literally the only source we have that may foreshadow a potential Sessrin to come, and it’s referenced a lot, I figured it still should be called out for exactly what it is- Grooming: 101!!!!

Just as I demonstrated above, fiction has the ability to make even the most inappropriate and uncomfortable situations be viewed in a favorable light when you put the right spin on it. *cough* Lolicon culture, need I say more? *cough* Despite what you may believe, the strategies fiction utilizes to explain themes/concepts can genuinely lead to how we perceive them, and ultimately to how we come to make sense of a similar event presented to us in real life. Especially if we have no prior experience with any of it and have nothing to compare something to, these perceptions can be dangerous yet still persuasive to certain fans- young ones in particular. The more narrative consistency across stories and different mediums, the more likely they’ll influence social beliefs. Minors don’t possess the same capacity as adults to think critically about the content they consume, and if we aren’t more careful about what we put out there then all of us will continue to face serious repercussions.

This is precisely why it’s crucial we persist in our fight against the rabid phenomenon of glorifying young girls in every sexual context imaginable. Just look at what something as seemingly harmless as fiction has the power to do. The scope of fiction is broad and far-reaching, and it’s about time we stop denying that fact and actually do something about it if we have the means to.

The truth of the matter is that we’re in desperate need of proper education and training programs on this issue in our communities. Families need to ensure their children have access to the necessary resources, but it isn’t just on them. ALL of us gotta do our part and ALL of us should be up for the task. It takes a village, right? If we do not properly discuss and address child sexual abuse (CSA) with our children and in public forums, including the internet, then we’re ultimately accepting incidents of CSA should they arise. Consequently, that also translates to indirectly accepting that the predators among us stay untreated and/or unpunished. That’s how the generational and societal aspect of the abuse can continue, and we must do everything in our power to secure our children’s future. Yes, even when it comes to fiction.

If you still somehow don’t think the Sessrin pairing has anything to do with grooming, allow me to break this down for you one more time:

1. If some of your fellow sessrin shippers say that a relationship like this in real life is harmful, then that should be pretty telling in and of itself.

2. Piggybacking off #1: if your only defense to that is “well it’s just fiction,” then you should ask yourself why you can’t ever come up with better reasons. Same goes for history and culture, so please stop using those to justify this relationship. None of the above can or should be applied since it’s already been established that fiction pervades our lives and vice versa.

3. If fellow shippers who are victims of grooming say they are drawn to Sessrin because it allows them in a way to “take back control” from their abuser so that they can better cope with past traumas, then they’re inadvertently admitting that Sessrin does possess qualities associated with the past child sexual abuse they underwent. AKA Sessrin is relatable for its abusive dynamic.

I have to ask by the way, but why do you get so offended when we don’t support your ship anyway? Is it because we interpret it to be controversial and you don’t like your ship getting a bad rap? Is it because it would be insulting to admit that antis actually have a point in it being problematic and you rather double down instead? Or is it because you’re projecting yourself onto Rin and prefer to not go into detail about why that is? Maybe it’s too personal, or maybe it’s because deep down you’re ashamed. Of course that doesn’t mean you’re bad people, but suppressing these kind of negative emotions can’t be healthy for anyone. A little awareness and self-reflection on your part can benefit not just you but all of us in the long run. Cognitive dissonance can suck, but it’s also part of being human.

I recently came across a comment I’d like to share with you. Unfortunately, this is not the first time nor will it be the last I see the likes of it. Anyway, in it a fan stated how embarrassing it must be being an Anti in this fandom when an episode like “Forever with Lord Sesshomaru” exists. Guys, this shipper and all those who liked their post are showing their true colors. Perpetuating and/or anticipating these sexualized images of young girls is a grave issue in both our society and media alike. I think we can all agree on that, or at least I hope so. It’s remarks like these that prove we still got a long way to go in terms of progress, and if we ever hope to effectively reverse some of our backwards way of thinking. So serious question for ya in regard to this: Why is it too much to ask that grooming be portrayed for what it is? Grooming. To clarify, grooming is bad and needs to be painted in a bad light. It’s as simple as that. If only we could all acknowledge it for what it is, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

Historical accuracy and cultural differences aside, it appears the crux of the matter between Sessrin shippers and Antis is our acceptance and/or denial of fiction’s influence on real life. If we can’t agree on this, then we’ll never agree on anything else. As mentioned earlier, there is more than enough evidence to support the idea that fiction impacts our lives in extraordinary ways. I, for one, believe in the transformative power of stories. I think they do more for us than many of us give them credit for and/or are inclined to admit.

This is partially why I believe that the majority of sessrin folk are missing the point most of the time. All they do is focus on insignificant and irrelevant information that accomplishes nothing but more gaslighting and strawmanning. Whether it be an intentional or unconscious decision, whatever we argue goes right over their head. All they do is throw around deflections and antagonizing remarks that serve no real purpose other than to make Antis out to be the unreasonable and irrational ones. Making connections between our own lives and our stories is a completely natural and normal occurrence. If those particular shippers insist on denying just how interconnected real life and fiction both are, what that tells me is they’re either out of touch with reality or deliberately choose to be.

Just to be clear, I am of the opinion that most if not all antis aren’t real life predators. If they say they aren’t, I honestly take their word for it. Speaking to Sessrin shipper directly: We know it’s not Sesshomaru you want to be but Rin. No, we’re not calling you pedophiles or groomers. None of us think you are using a fictional ship to attract underage fans to be the Rin in your life or anything of the sort. We are well aware that many of you are self-inserting yourself as Rin, so please don’t feel the need to tell us yourself because that would be stating the obvious.

I learned from a few of you since this sequel was announced that the Sessrin relationship isn’t just a ship but an opportunity for you to confront the person who used and abused you. So there’s two issues with this I’d like to raise. (Sorry if I’m repeating myself, but it’s urgent I stress this again!) This is what I have to say:

If fiction does not affect real life or have the ability to normalize anything as you claim to believe, then why does “fixing” what happened to you via your preferred choice of coping associated with these two characters in the first place? Why bring your past abuse into this at all if at the end of the day it’s “just fiction” and nothing more to you but a source of entertainment?

By confessing that you use Sessrin to cope with your past trauma, you therein reveal that Sessrin does in fact resemble an adult-child relationship with a grooming dynamic. So why then would you want other fans to be exposed to a pairing that brings to mind the very abuse you endured? We’re supposed to stop this toxic cycle- NOT find more ways to manifest and relive it, much less subject other fans to it.

You may think that Sessrin doesn’t fit the textbook definition of what child grooming is, but that’s not to say it doesn’t embody it or that it doesn’t at the very least have traces of it that stand out.

“Antis are miserable people who don’t know how to enjoy a good story. It’s just fiction, stop ruining it for other fans!”

Well, no, it’s not just fiction or just a story. Some of you evidently went and proved that yourself, and without my help, by revealing how you relate Sessrin to your own life and apply it to cope with past abuse. Past abuse or not, as far as I can tell we’re all equally invested in these characters. That speaks volumes and just goes to show that fiction touches our lives in long-lasting ways.

I have something I want to say concerning some of who believe that it’s inconsiderate of antis who have been victims of grooming or another form of child abuse to tell other victims who ship Sessrin how they should cope with their trauma. Now as much as I respect the various means victims discover to deal with their painful pasts, there’s always an appropriate time and a place for these things to occur. We must seek out better ways to safely cope with the abuse we lived through (if any) without running the risk of hurting and endangering others.

There are plenty of fans in other fandoms who don’t try to defend their ships going canon, because they’re able to recognize an unhealthy or toxic pairing when they see one and won’t try to justify it. A Sessrin romance simply does not belong on a show geared towards teens, and I really don’t need to go into detail about why we shouldn’t support it, at least canon-wise. Shipping Sessrin is your right, but if you don’t keep it to yourself and your corner of the fandom then you really shouldn’t be surprised by the opposition. All we ask is you respect that their specific dynamic falls under the category of child grooming (or very close) and should be treated as such in public. The world of fiction may be wider than the world we live in, but that doesn’t always mean “anything goes.” In the creative spaces our minds occupy we must still adhere to the same fundamental and moral guidelines we live by in life. There’s nothing wrong with exploring new terrains and experimenting with ideas, but we must also remember that our stories are all about communicating and connecting with people. So let’s please be more mindful of the sort of messages they’re sending.

Besides, this isn’t only about you and what makes you feel safe, it’s about all of us. I don’t know how much more I can stress that really. How can thoughts endanger our children, you ask? Well, it’s not like we’re suggesting that our thoughts can jump out of our tvs, materialize themselves, and place kids under mind control. The forces behind fiction are a lot more complex and nuanced than a “monkey see, monkey do” approach, so don’t waste any more time trying to describe that to us. You’re taking this argument in the wrong direction.

Take the “violent video games breed killers” theory. I’m afraid you’re misconstruing what we’re saying and then taking it quite too literally. Please stop twisting our words, because nobody on our side is saying that just because you play violent video games that you’ll become a violent person. The Sessrin equivalent of that would be if you ship them then you must be a pedophile or turning into one. *sigh* I know you guys are feeling attacked, but I’m afraid your defensive nature is keeping you from thinking straight. Clearly, there are always exceptions (I’d recommend reading up on the Slender Man case), but Antis aren’t saying you’re one of them.

You see, it’s not so much about the content as it is the notion of the content. Kids and teens who are playing these video games have been informed that killing is wrong, because they grew up learning that early on like the rest of us. No sane person would advocate for violence and nonsensical killing in real life. Since they fully understand the severity of the consequences of killing a person in real life, they are able make a clear distinction between the two. When it comes to killing there is hardly any ambiguity. Sadly, that is far from the truth when it comes to sexualizing girls. It should immediately be perceived as wrong leaving no room for interpretation, and yet here we are still putting up with these inaccurate and demeaning female representations.

Most children who have been groomed don’t realize it till years down the road. If they aren’t ever taught the telltale signs to properly labeling grooming situations, how do you expect them to make sense of and relate to a fictional version? Let’s think of about it from a child’s perspective. Yes, this includes teens who rely pretty heavily on adult guidance and the content we put out there for them. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and picture that you’ve never had child grooming explained to you (because that’s just the reality for so many unfortunately). Wouldn’t you say it’s possible for them to deduce that what they see on their screens is how they come to discern something in real life, especially if they have little to no experience with it? Perceived realism is plausible, y'all.

What it comes down to in the end is that the ideas and emotions we cultivate behind these stories leave an impression on others. Impressions are capable of influencing the way we see the world, which in turn affects us and beyond just our imagination. The way I look at it, stories contribute to how and why we normalize certain beliefs and trends. If fiction reflects real life like most of us tend to agree, then wouldn’t you say Sessrin is a (in)direct result of this world’s tendency to place young girls in overly sexual or romantic environments? Where do you think fiction draws its inspiration from? Sure, some of it originates from our imagination, but most of what drives us to create these stories is the real world and the people who live in it.

Fiction is meant to mirror reality, but it’s ridiculous to suggest that it’s only a one-way street. That fiction in no way, shape, or form influences our reality? Or that it only works the other way around? With all due respect, that’s simply not true. No productive discourse can be had if we choose to ignore the truth and don’t come together (at least halfway) to tackle the real issues at hand.

Okay, I think I’ll leave it off there! Thanks so much for reading. I expect this to be my last blog on any topic regarding Inuyasha in the near future. As much as I’ve looked forward to answering all of your asks and writing all the blogs I have over these past almost 5 months, I think it’s best if I spend some time away for now. With the sequel fast approaching, I’m doing what I always do: hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I’ve met some amazing people along the way, that’s for sure. And who knows, maybe you’ll see me active in the tags sooner than we think. Until then, it’s been an absolute pleasure! Enjoy the sequel, all of you. 💜

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #it's been real y'all #catch ya on the flipside #(which I hope is in a promising sequel 🤞)

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 3 years

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Sakura's First Guitar Lesson

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted some writing here because most of the time I use my a03. For Sk8Tember writing athon I originally wanted to do Fairy Tale day which is tomorrow. However, since I'm currently in the middle of changing up my writing style from first person to third person to try and be a better writer I thought that it would be for the best that I pick Instrument Day because guess what? Today is my birthday! I'm now officially 22 years old even if I don't look or act like it. I'm here to celebrate my birthday with everyone by sharing my new writing with all of you.

Songs mentioned in the fic:

La Via Strangiato: Rush

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK1hmDpa8bo

The Long And Winding Road: The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4HjTH_fTM

Let It Be: The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYfEBY9NM4

Sakura Nanjo rocked back and forth on her heels outside of the music studio that she had her first lessons in. Since she told her parents that the thing she wanted to do more than anything in the world was to learn how to play the bass guitar just like her hero, they had been encouraging. Haru even found that he had a profound interest in learning how to play the drums. In reality, he wanted to do it so that his sister wouldn’t feel alone in wanting to try something new. He would never admit that to her though. There were some things that his sister did not need to know. She would never let him live it down if she knew the actual reason why he was so adamant about learning to play the drums.

“Sakura, if you keep doing that you’re going to wear yourself out. I know that you’re excited but it’s really starting to freak me out.” Her best friend, Miya Chinen, reminded her lightly with that same small smile that he often had when he was around her. He couldn’t help but find this childish and excitable side of her adorable. She would always be cute in his mind but especially when she got excited about the simplest of things. Like learning how to play an instrument that had always spoken to her.

“I can’t help it! I’m excited, I’m nervous, part of my brain is screaming at me because what if this is a really bad idea and what if I’m not any good at this thing that I’ve never tried before and change is terrifying and-“ He lightly put his arm around his best friend cutting off her word vomit. She only got like this when she was way past nervous and her brain to mouth filter failed her.

“Change is scary but it can also be good for you. You told me so yourself that this is something you’ve wanted to do for all your life right?” Sakura nodded her head nervously trying to stop this anxiety from bubbling up inside of her. With the recent diagnosis of aspergers syndrome she’s still learning to cope with the help of her friends and family.

“Well yeah, I’ve always loved the idea of playing music. Especially bass guitar because of my fixation on Rush and on Geddy Lee as a whole.” She argued and he just chuckled lightly at his best friend. Leave it to her to want to do something that could potentially become life altering just because her favorite singer did it too.

“Then I think that it would be a great experience for you to have if it’s something that you really want to do. It’ll make you happy and give you a hobby that you didn’t have before. You really need to have more hobbies other than cooking Saki.” She sighed knowing that her best friend was right as she looked over at the music studio.

“I know that it’s bad. But this could be something that I get really passionate about. I already know that it won’t necessarily be easy. Nothing really ever is easy for me.” She looked down at her skateboard tracing the end of her Haku dragon sticker before sighing slightly. Nobody ever did anything by being anxious about every little change that they came across. If that was the case then most of her favorite music would have never come to exist.

“Skating came rather easily for you after you got those grips for your feet. You just needed to distribute your weight easier than the way that you were.” Miya argued lightly hating that she would get like this sometimes. She shouldn’t ever have the need to feel sad. He preferred her when her ruby red eyes lit up with happiness rather than downcast and saddened like they were right now.

“Yeah that doesn’t mean that I’ll be good at this though… what if all of this is just me being childish?” She just sighed burying her head in her hands. Now that she had been told to stop being so overly excited the dread was starting to sink in. Her playing bass guitar? Yeah and the moon is secretly made of cheese.

“I don’t think that it’s you being childish. I think that it’s you trying to make yourself into a better version of yourself. You’re clearly not happy and you barely do anything for yourself simply because you want to. Saki you can’t know that you suck at something if you’ve never really tried it before. I know that you can do this because you’re the bravest person that I’ve ever met. You can literally do anything that you set your mind to. If you can dream it you can do it.” He comforted her and watched as slowly the light came back to her eyes.

“You’re right! I can do this, and I’ll be good at it as long as I work hard enough at it. I know that I can do this.” She clenched her left fist and shook it up at the sky daring anyone to tell her otherwise. If you asked Miya, this was the first thing that he really noticed about her that was different. He never met anyone that was as determined to do their best until he met Sakura. Her determination to defy every obstacle inspired him to push past his limits as well.

“That’s the stubborn best friend that I know and love.” He lightly teased and she looked down at her lap picking up the instrument that was there. The second that Kaoru found out his beloved daughter wanted to learn to play bass guitar he found the best one that he could through hours of off the clock research. He wanted his little girl to be happy and if this is what would make her happy and confident in her own wicked way then he would do everything that he felt within his power to do so. The guitar that he had eventually chosen for her was a lilac colored and sparkly one that he thought just suited his little girl’s personality.

“Shut up, I know I’m super stubborn already. It’s why me and Haru struggle so hard to see eye to eye because he’s just as stubborn as I am if not more.” She huffed a breath thinking about the argument that her and her brother had gotten into last night. It had been about something so stupid but it had just got blown way out of proportion and now she wasn’t sure if things were going to be awkward around him for a while. It had been about who was going to make dinner that night and Haru just blew up at her. Of course, never to back down from a fight the only thing that Sakura did was yell right back at him.

“He’ll forgive you eventually Saki. He always does you’ll go home and there will be forgive me cookies on the table for you. Besides he’s usually the one who yells first and knows that you will yell back. I’ve never once seen you actually pick the fight with him personally.” Miya hated when Haru would purposefully try and ruin her mood. He knew that he was just going through his own personal hell as he was still in the early stages of transitioning but he didn’t need to take his anger and aggression out on her.

“This one was really stupid though. It was just over who would make dinner since dad had to be at the restaurant late and mom was working late surprising absolutely no one ever.” Kaoru had always been the type that worked long hours even at the cost of not spending a whole lot of time at home with his children. He did the best that he could with the time that he was given and had mandatory time with them on weekends but the house was most of the time silent except for the twins. And sometimes they just couldn’t be around each other without a screaming match breaking out.

“You guys are the kids of Cherry and Joe, it would be weird if you guys didn’t fight constantly.” Miya tried to joked just to hear her laugh, which it worked. The first thing that really drew him to her was that laugh. That loud and open sound when she was well and truly tickled by something or the more quiet sound that he got right now when she was emotional.

“That’s true, come on, I’m thirsty all the sudden and want to get a drink before I have to go in for my first session.” She stretched getting off of the concrete and offered her best friend a hand up off the ground before she stepped onto her board.

“Arizona sweet tea?” He offered her that option and she nodded her head with a small smile on her face. She had fallen in love with her best friend’s sweet tea that he had gotten her addicted to after they got introduced to each other.

“What are you going to do while I’m doing my session?” Miya gestured to his backpack where he was hiding his switch that he brought with him today. He knew that he’d want to spend the afternoon waiting for his best friend to finish her session.

“I’ve got my games in here don’t worry about me. I want to spend the afternoon with you. You’re my best friend and I want to support you in any way that I can.” He encouraged her as they pulled into the connivence store so that they could get their tea and some snacks while they waited. This was a huge deal for her and he wanted her to know how much he supported her.

“You’re going to be amazing Sakura. I know that you will be because you constantly give everything that you can into your interests.” Miya knew that she could do anything that she put her mind to because if his best friend was anything it was bound and determined to do her best at every little thing that she tried. Even if she found that she wasn’t as interested in the idea of playing her favorite instrument as she made it sound both in her head and in the music she listened to, she wouldn’t back down without a fight. That stubborn nature combined with her kind heart had him being pulled even deeper into her orbit.

“I sure hope that your right cat-boy because I am so nervous right now. As was prevalent by my earlier word vomit.” He just smiled softly at her doing his best that he could to be her support system as much as he knew that she was nervous.

“Sometimes your nerves stop you from doing things that you’re really good at though. They stopped you from making genuine friends before now didn’t they? Being nervous about something is considered totally normal. But you can’t let those nerves run your life Sakura. Otherwise you’ll never get anywhere. If you let nerves stop you then there’s so much you can’t really achieve.” He knew the amount of almost crippling anxiety that she struggled with. He had only ever wanted to support her and push her further. As they stopped in front of the music studio and she took a deep breath opening the front door and hearing the sound of somebody in one of the rooms practicing.

“Hello! Are you here for a lesson or just here to see what kinds of facilities we offer here?” Sakura lightly yanked on her ponytail just to try and ground herself.

“My mom scheduled my appointment, it’s Sakura Nanjo. I want to learn how to play the bass guitar.” She told the clerk and Miya just squeezed her hand sympathetically. Talking to people that she didn’t know was never a skill that Sakura had excelled at. Haru was always the people person not really her.

“Oh that’s right!! Your mother did call in to our shop so we’re excited to begin to teach you. We’ll have your teacher be with you in just a moment. You’re welcome to look around. He mentioned that you’d bring your own instrument?” She nodded her head holding up her guitar sleeved she had walked her with her.

“He bought it for me a few days ago and came home with it the day before yesterday!” Sakura showed her the guitar that her mom had bought for her that matched her personality.

“That is really pretty!! It does seem to match your bright and bubbly personality. Are you here for lessons too or just moral support?” Miya put his arm around his best friend’s shoulders supportively with a small smile on his face.

“I’m just here for the moral support factor. She struggles with nerves and anxiety and I thought that it would be easier for her if she had me here to support her.” He reasoned and she smiled gratefully at her best friend. Despite only being friends for a few months she knew that there was something unique about the video game obsessed boy next to her. Something that was life altering and that she wouldn’t ever want to change.

“That’s really sweet of you!! I’ll go and tell your teacher that your ready to learn.” The worker went off in search of the bass guitar teacher and Sakura’s ear twitched lightly.

“Are you hearing La Villa Strangiato?” Her ear was always in tune to when a Rush song was being played around her. Miya couldn’t help but laugh lightly at her as he had been hearing it since they had come into the studio. She must have been way too nervous to notice that somebody had been playing a song by her favorite band.

“They’ve been playing it since we walked in. Want to go and see who it is?” She followed the sound of the guitar as it led her to a spare room where a girl with dark hair and baby blue highlights was playing a guitar. She was wearing a different school uniform than the one that they were wearing. It had a music note on the band around the arm. Maybe she went to a music school of some kind? Whomever she was, she was clearly absorbed in the music that she was playing. And what’s more than that, she was a good. Good from years of clear practice at her craft and good from knowing exactly what she was doing. Miya accidentally leaned into Sakura’s side a bit too far trying to get a better look at the girl and knocked her over. The girl that as playing the instrument suddenly stoped and looked over at Sakura who was on the ground.

“Sorry Saki!” He frantically apologized offering her a hand and helped her to dust off the back of her skirt.

“Are you guys new? I thought that I closed that door!! Sorry if I was playing too loud, my dad runs the studio here I don’t take lessons.” The girl apologized very clearly worried that she had distracted them from something.

“Sakura is here to get lessons but she’s a huge rush fan and knew exactly what you were playing. She wanted to see the person that was playing La Villa Strangiato.” Miya explained to the girl lightly put off by the fact that the girl instantly took Sakura’s hands in her own.

“A fellow Rush fan?! At long last!! I’m Kayla Sunohara!! Super awesome to meet you Sakura.” She introduced herself excitedly and Miya just possessively gripped her hand.

“I’m Sakura Nanjo, this is my best friend Miya Chinen. How long have you been studying Alex Lifeson?” Miya buried his face into Sakura’s shoulder, trying on a whim to keep the possessive nature that he was feeling come up his spine. She’s allowed to have other friends and not just me. She should have a female friend who likes the same style of music as she does. It was only a matter of time before Sakura made another friend that wasn’t just me. She’s too nice for me to keep all to myself like that.

“Oh I’ve been studying his work since I first started playing when I was seven!! What about you? You interested in studying Geddy Lee?” Sakura gripped her bass guitar a little bit firmer in her hands nodding her head.

“That’s so cool…” She gushed and Kayla just laughed a bit waving her hand up and down in a dismissive manner.

“It’s not really anything that fantastic, I’m nowhere near his level and I probably never will be. But his guitar is what inspired me to pick up my own. What about you? Why did you want to learn bass?” Miya couldn’t help the halfhearted glare that he was sending to the other guitarist. He didn’t know why, maybe it was because he hadn’t had friends in so long but he wanted all of Sakura’s attention on him.

“Sakura?” The lady in the front of the studio called her name and she instantly lightly hugged her best friend noticing the slight stiffness in his appearance.

“Miya, I have to go. Is there something wrong?” He shook his head at her putting on the fakest smile that he could muster at the moment.

“I’ll be alright, I’ve got my games and I’m going to play these games with Sunohara.” He lightly told her and she just sighed a little bit.

“Look we’ll talk later cat boy alright? Don’t do anything stupid like start a fight or whatever.” She lightly told him with a small smirk on her face going out of the room and carrying everything over to the room.

“Miss Nanjo? I’m Shizuko, I’m going to be your teacher.” She took a deep breath just trying to do the final calming of her nerves. “I’m Sakura, it’s nice to meet you.” She bowed before her teacher with a small smile on her face carrying the guitar.

“It’s nice to meet you as well. Why don’t you come with me and we can figure out what you want to do and why?” As her teacher led the way she couldn’t help but look at everything with this sheer ease of wonder and light.

“So, why do you want to learn how to play bass guitar?” She sat down in the chair in front of her putting the guitar on her lap lightly.

“I want to play guitar because I was deeply inspired by Geddy Lee. My dad he raised me on Rush because that was what he loved back in high school.” Her teacher listened to her speak passionately about her love of the music that had inspired her to get through the day.

“My little sister has been studying the art of Alec Lifeson for a majority of her life. So I totally get that you can be inspired by the lead singer. He’s a big inspiration for everyone that ever felt like they didn’t fit in. She’s going to probably take over this studio one of these days.” Shizuko bragged about her younger sister that was now bonding with Miya over a shared love of video games in the spare room.

“I met your sister! She was playing La Villa Strangiato in another room. I thought that she was really amazing at it too. She’s really talented.” Sakura exclaimed her praises towards the other main guitarist. Her teacher just laughed a little bit already foreseeing a future friendship between her newest student and her younger sibling.

“You really know your stuff if you knew the exact song that she was playing. Music has always been something that brought us closer together as a family. Performing has been something that was passed down through the lines. Our dad taught us when we were just little kids so it’s always been a big part of our lives tighter. So what do your parents do?” She put her guitar on the floor knowing that this would just be an initial interview to see what she wanted to do and why.

“My dad he runs an Italian restaurant, Sia La Luce by the marina that’s what I’m going to do when I get older too. That’s what I was doing until both of my parents decided that I should be allowed to be a teenager for a little while. I’ve wanted to play bass guitar ever since I first started to deep dive and I really learned what music was and what instruments did what. It wasn’t just Geddy Lee. I’ve been inspired by countless other artists as well.” She reasoned and the teacher just smiled to herself. She had a feeling that this student would excel really far at the guitar. She also thought that her sister might finally make a really good friend.

“Do you do well in school? Do you have any other interests?” She nodded her head with a small smile on her face thinking about her lessons in skateboarding.

“I’m currently learning how to skateboard finally. My parents both do it and compete in their own ways. My brother picked it up like a fish to water. I’ve only recently started to learn how because a friend wanted to teach me. He’s the first friend that I’ve ever made. I was relatively well liked by my classmates but we weren’t ever really friends. I do pretty good in school depending on the subject. I’m mostly good at math and English but struggle with science. That’s my brother’s area of expertise.” Sakura talked about the little things in school that she enjoyed doing.

“Science isn’t for everyone and it’s not your fault that you aren’t very good at that class. I’m sure that yo excel in other areas. Who are some of your other heroes in music that aren’t behind Rush?” As important as having one hero was, Shizuko knew that she wouldn’t get very far if that was the only genre of music that she wanted to play.

“The one that my mom got me hooked on from a young age was Queen so I’ve always admired John Deacon. He was the quiet one so not a lot of people really think about how important he was. He was both an incredible bass player but he wrote some of Queen’s most iconic songs. Also, Paul McCartney has always been one of my favorite musicians for The Beatles and for Wings. Really I found a lot of different musician heroes that I could aspire to one day learn more about. I have a recent diagnosis of aspergers that caused me to rethink a lot of what interested me.” Sakura was still just ever so slightly self conscious about what had interested her. She’d had so many people judge her that weren’t Miya it felt like. Shizuko couldn’t hep but smile softly as this young tween in front of her reminded her so much of her when she was younger. From the admiration that she had of all these different styles of bass guitarists to her naturally shy disposition.

“There’s a lot of really beautiful Beatles songs, do you have a favorite one?” She nodded her head with a small smile on her face.

“My favorite is The Long And Winding Road. Many times I’ve been alone and many times I’ve cried anyway you’ll never know the many ways I’ve tried. It reminds me of my relationship with my brother. We get into a lot of really heated arguments but at the end of the day he’s my twin brother and I love him.” The entirety of Let It Be was her favorite non-Rush album of all time and it was one that she listened to consistently when she was alone in her bedroom. Her parents got her a record player when she was eight because that was the item she most desperately wanted. Ever since then she’d been collecting records and she shared it with Haru.

“You sing really, really well for somebody your age. That takes a lot of talent, have you ever done it professionally?” Do my friends in Italy count? We’re kind of a band I guess and I always love singing with them. While Sakura had friends before Miya, they didn’t live in this country. Rather they all lived in Italy. They were the only large group of people that had welcomed her into their group.

“I have a couple of friends in Italy where my dad did his studying for his restaurant. We go back every summer just about and my friends and I we sing. I’ve always appreciated singing because it was something that I could control. It could be loud or quiet. I could train it to sing in different styles.” She explained her dynamic with her small group of female friends that welcomed her with open arms years ago. Found family movie nights on Friday’s were something that she always looked forward to even if it was earlier in the afternoon for her then it was for them.

“I don’t know very many young girls that are that into singing. They do it for fun a lot of them but none of them that do it for fun are very good. Not unless they put in the effort. Talent takes effort. You have to put in the work and make the commitment in order for talent to come from that. Taking on an instrument is a pretty big commitment especially with the guitar. Sometimes you just want to throw the thing against the wall and call it a day. But then you get back to it and you’re suddenly able to do it and you feel this sense of self worth and accomplishment.” Shizuko tried to make her young pupil see things from her perspective. She had lost a lot of younger students because they weren’t serious about the instrument. Once they saw the first sign of struggle they threw in the towel and gave everything up.

“I’m willing to put in the work. I just need a teacher to show me how things work.” Sakura never did anything halfway. She was either all in or had absolutely zero interest in the task at hand. She had grown up around the sound of a bass guitar coming from every room in the house in some capacity.

“I can tell that you’re one of the serious ones about this otherwise you wouldn’t have stayed after that talk. Most of the students leave because I’m “too harsh”. I just want people to try their best and to succeed in the areas where they should.” The teacher ranted and Sakura couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. That threat hadn’t even begun to diminish her joy at the idea of simply being here.

“My mom is a lot more scary than that so I’m used to the idea of being threatened. Music has always been a part of my life and now I want to learn how to play it.” She said confidently and by the look on her face Shizuko knew that she had found a gem in the rocks.

“That was why I wanted to learn how to play bass too. I grew up hearing it with my dad because he loves all different kinds of music really but it was a whole lot of Beatles, Rush, Queen, Heart, and a lot of other artists that just seemed to flow out of the windows. I’m glad that you came in today Sakura. I can’t wait to start teaching you. We’re just going to gloss over the essentials today.” Sakura looked at her teacher one question burning in the back of her brain. “What is your favorite Beatles song?” Shizuko blinked a little bit in confusion before a small smirk appeared on her face.

“My favorite Beatles song is Let It Be. Has been since I was a little kid, Mary was my mother’s name. She died last year so it’s been kind of a rough point in my life. But that song has always gotten me through bad times. And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow let it be.” As Shizuko told her new student about her song obsession Sakura’s heart warmed. It was such a beautiful story that she couldn’t help but love it.

“I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. That really must have hurt something awful. Is it just you, your dad, and your sister now?” Sakura pulled her hair back a little bit further with a small smile on her face playing with the ends of her ponytail.

“Thank you so much sweetheart that makes a lot to me. My dad has a girlfriend, they were divorced for a while since Kayla was younger. It was a bit of an experience for me to deal with but we’re still a family anyways.” Shizuko reasoned and her student just smiled sympathetically at her. She had no idea what it would be like if there was a fight that just pushed things over that sometimes tightrope edge that her parents walked on. When she was younger she feared that one day one of them would fall off the tightrope and it would end their relationship. That it would go out in a burning inferno and that one fatal argument would end their bickering relationship. It wasn’t until she got a bit older and wiser when she learned that their love language was bickering.

“I’m glad that you were still able to have that family. My family can be a bit loud and chaotic personally. It’s a lot of bickering and a lot of arguing sometimes about the simplest of things. But I love my parents even if half the time it’s like I’m the parent and they are the children under my care. My twin brother isn’t really that much better.” Shizuko laughed openly at the idea of this family as she could completely visualize it. From what she had gathered when she had spoken with Kaoru Sakurayashiki the man seemed like a complete overprotective but at the same time loving mom figure.

“So you have two dad’s right?” She nodded her head getting out her phone and showing her a picture of them all skating together.

“I have two dad’s. My brother and I were surrogate children because they wanted kids with their own DNA. To keep things less complicated when we were kids me and Haru decided okay your mom and you’re dad. It’s been that way ever since. Our family dynamic is a bit unique because of it but I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if they weren’t my parents. They bicker like people that have known each other their entire lives because that’s what they do.” She settled against the back of the chair that she was currently in.

“Do you and your brother bicker a lot because of the fact that your parents do?” Sakura sighed heavily playing with her index fingers. She hated the fact that she had instantly been called out like that.

“Well… yeah we kind of do. Both of us are naturally stubborn types of people and sometimes it gets to be rather explosive. If it’s a day that we don’t get into at least a little spat well then that’s a miracle I feel like. We’ve really put our parents through hell these last several years especially.” She picked at the hem on her skirt just wishing that she could finally get along with her brother. It was so hard for them to see eye to eye though. Half of the time she had no idea what he was thinking and why he was doing the things that he was doing. She just wanted to help and every time that she tried he exploded on her.

“Sometimes siblings just don’t get along. You’re one of the lucky pairs if you don’t fight every time that your put in the same room together as children. My sister and I still fight a lot because we’re just different kinds of people. I’m sure that it’s the same way with your brother and you.” The older of the two of them felt the pain that the younger one went through like it was her own. There was a time a few years ago where a positive relationship between her and Kayla seemed like a wish on a dying star. It was just plain not going to happen.

“I want to be a better sister to him. I know that I do. I also just really want something to bond with him over. He wants to learn to play the drums.” Her teacher smiled at her instantly feeling that sense of love that Sakura had for her brother.

“Now that we’ve gotten all of that personality stuff squared away I know how to properly teach you. We’ll put primary focus on songs from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s rock n’roll because that seems to be the genre that you enjoy the most. I appreciate the taste it’s a welcomed change of pace. I get so many people that tell me their favorite artist is somebody more modern.” She got her own red guitar that looked familiar enough to the young tween in front of her.

“That a version of Brain May’s red special isn’t it? For the bass guitar?” Shizuko grinned openly at the girl in front of her for recognizing the iconic guitar.

“My dad also happens to make guitars here so I asked for this one to be custom made once I started teaching. It’s always been my favorite guitar that’s an icon so I asked if he could take that concept and make it into a bass guitar for me. I used to do band when I was in school and now I’m going to college for music theory.” That guitar had gotten the teacher through a lot when she was younger. Everyone has their little things that they’re obsessed with and for Shizuko that would definitely be her guitar. She couldn’t live without it.

“That sounds like me with my cookbook. I can’t go anywhere without it. My mom calls it my grounding object because it helps me to stay calm and it helps me to remember my goals and ambitions. I want to one day make food that will make people happy just like my dad. If that means that I have to do the same training that he did in Italy for four years then so be it. Whatever it takes to make people smile when they eat my food.” Whatever it takes to make Miya happy when he eats my food. I want to keep making meals for him that he’ll love. I want to get him on a healthier diet. She shook the thought right out of her head, now was not the time to start thinking about Miya. It was the time to start learning the basics of the instrument that had always inspired her.

“Your mom mentioned that you have a recent diagnosis of aspergers?” She nodded her head unzipping her own guitar and showing it to her teacher.

“I got it a few weeks ago when it was still summer break. We went to Hokkaido to get it in a beach town since my family and found family wanted to go on a small vacation.” The shiny guitar that was in her hands made Shizuko smile softly. It was obvious that everyone in the familial unit that made her heart happy.

“Does that boy that was with you, is he in your found family?” She blushed a bright pink and her teacher couldn’t keep back the cackle of laughter from leaving her.

“Miya is my best friend, I’ve only known him for a few months but he’s… well he’s everything to me. I never had a friend before him really. I was popular enough with my classmates but was never asked to hang out when I wasn’t in class. That was fine with me but I never really thought about how deep down lonely I really was. Loneliness started to get to me and I was depressed every time I would go to school.” As Sakura talked about what she went through during these last few months the sadness in her voice was evident. She had spent the last couple of months just half alive until she met Miya who had brought life and color back into her eyes.

“I’m sorry that happened to you sweetheart, I know that you’ve struggled a lot during the course of your life. Sometimes we just need to wait until the right person comes into your life. I didn’t meet my best friend until I was eighteen and she’s been there for me every step of the way. I only had rent-a-friends during my entire childhood.” Shizuko reasoned and she played with the ends of curly hair with a small laugh.

“He’s easily the best thing that has ever happened to me. We do everything together now and he’s been teaching me skateboarding.” She lifted the guitar that was in her hands and put it over her lap. Shizuko demonstrated the first cord that she would be teaching her and Sakura easily copied the same note. She was instantly feeling the energy that she was actually really good at this job.

“Skateboarding can be very difficult but I know that you must feel very passionately about the art from. It can be a lot of fun actually. My friend’s and I used to do it all the time when we were back in high school. I still skate because it’s rather simple to get from place to place that way.” Shizuko reasoned with the young girl as she showed her the chord again and Sakura hit it with ease. The teacher was surprised at the amount of talent that the girl clearly had for somebody that had never touched a guitar before. It was something that she was just clearly passionate about.

“I was never really able to do it until a friend of mine was able to make me a custom board. I had to have little divots for my feet to go so that I could maintain my balance. I have really bad balance normally so trying to do that on a skateboard was just a plain old recipe for disaster.” Sakura laughed a little bit at the pain of the moment as the timer on Shizuko’s phone buzzed.

“We spent most of the session today learning about each other so that we can better work together through this experience. I know that you’re going to be one of the best students that I’ve ever taken on. I’ll see you again next week?” Sakura nodded her head zipping up her guitar before her teacher stopped her.

“For right now, I think that I should keep the guitar here. It’s probably difficult skating with it right? I can have my sister drop off a rental at your house since she’ll probably be one of your closest friends.” Her teacher reasoned and she handed the sparkly guitar to her teacher.

“Thank you, I’m looking forward to you teaching me as well!” She looked down at her shoes with a small smile on her face. Sakura bowed right before she left the room easily picking up her backpack with a small smile on her face as she heard Miya’s familiar laugh.

“Hey! I finished my session. What did you two get up to?” Sakura flopped onto the ground next to her best friend and he instantly put his arm comfortably around her shoulders. He had missed her despite her only being gone for a small amount of time.

“We were just playing some Crash Bandicoot!! Your friend is really good at video games. How did your first session with my sister go? Was she too hard on you? She can be a lot during first sessions. I try to be a lot more open minded and friendly with my students.” Kayla mentioned off handedly as the pinkette just shook her head.

“No she was actually really, really cool. I liked my studies quite a bit and I’m excited to come back next week. I’m hungry for dinner though, you coming cat-boy?” She lightly ruffled his dark hair as he nodded his head against her shoulder. As much as he knew that she had to make new friends and that it wouldn’t be just the two of them forever and ever he would always be protective over her. She might be her friend but I’ll always be her best friend. Nothing in the world can change that.

#sk8tember21 #writing #ocs #music

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thecinematicalgorithm · 2 years

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Spiderman: No Way Home Breakdown Review Part 1 (MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!!!)

I have been waiting to do this review for sometime now. I couldn’t do it when I first saw the film because I simply had no words for what I was feeling and thinking. However, after having seen the movie four times, yes four times, in theaters I think I am ready to breakdown why this has officially become my favorite Spiderman movie, and one of my all-time favorite superhero films. This is the last time I am going to say this, it is in the tags and the title, but one more for you all in the back not paying attention, there will be major spoilers. I love this film quite a bit and will talk a lot about the events and the characters involved. One of the great things about this movie is that it reminded me why Spiderman was tied with Batman as my favorite comic book hero in childhood and left me wanting more from Spiderman in any universe whether the MCU, Rami’s trilogy or Marc Webb’s version.

Alright first up, the leading man, Tom Holland. For me to do justice to what I thought of Tom’s performance in No Way Home, I need to first give some background in my feelings toward this particular Peter Parker. Ever since Spiderman: Homecoming, I have said that of the three live-action Spideys Tom was my least favorite. It’s not that I didn’t like him but to me he just didn’t feel like my Spiderman. And it was a difficult argument to make because I couldn’t quite pinpoint why. Tom is a great actor, and the scripts weren’t bad, but the feeling that something was missing persisted through everyone of Tom’s appearances...Until now.

I can say that by end of this film not only did I finally realize what had been missing (and it was several things), but this movie remedied every one of them and I am now 100% in for Tom’s portrayal of the famed web-head. I will get into more of what those critical Spiderman elements are but for now I just want to praise the acting Tom did in this installment. He was absolutely fantastic and he balanced the emotional aspects of his character’s journey in this film so well. And I’m telling you, his journey in this film took him so far. Peter in the MCU has been consistently learning and growing each time we see him, but this film shows Tom take Peter from childhood to manhood and it is done so beautifully. Spiderman being one of the youngest heroes and lacking a certain amount of maturity is fun and accurate to the comics but one of the things that makes him such a beloved character is how we see him grow into a mature and wise hero.

When I think of wise heroes I often think of heroes like T’Challa or Steve Rogers. From the get-go these guys had an innate sense of wisdom with good judgment and solid morals which allowed them to almost immediately become leaders that others could follow. And that wisdom only continues to grow with them. However, Peter, while having a good heart and good morals doesn’t always have the best judgment and lacks in wisdom. At least until he faces adversity. One of Spiderman’s most notable qualities both in films and the comics is his resilience. His ability to come back from great loss and suffering and continue fighting the good fight. To keep living his life with hope and finding joy even in the simple things like swinging between buildings. You could argue that most heroes have that same quality, but I have to say none quite match Peter’s simply because the kind of adversity Peter suffers is different than what we’ve seen in most major superhero characters, which leads me to the first element that had been missing from Tom’s Peter. Guilt.

I understand why the directors and many fans didn’t care to see another reiterate version of Ben Parker’s death. However, I felt like Tom’s Spiderman films were seriously lacking without that particular death. And it’s not just that I love Peter’s Uncle Ben and wanted to hear that he at least existed in this MCU, but it was also because this is canonically Peter’s first experience of loss that was actually partially his fault. That guilt acts as a catalyst which propels Peter into his Spidey destiny. While we still don’t get a Ben Parker death scene and Tom’s guilt over it we do get a May Parker death scene and his guilt over his part in it. It’s not quite the same as Ben’s death which occurred because Peter was being petty and allowed a criminal to go free, rather May died because Peter was trying to help criminals and therefore allowed them to go free from their cells. Either way Peter cannot deny that his actions led to the death of someone he loves and that knowledge is something Spiderman carries with him and which allows him to become much more careful and a little angst-ridden. Peter suffered the loss of Tony Stark in Endgame but that death was purely sacrificial and while the loss is great for Peter he does not walk away with the heavy burden of guilt and regret. Peter’s remorse when someone dies due to his own actions even remotely, is a crucial trait that gives him a certain shall we say “street wisdom” that every Spiderman needs because Spiderman is a hero that quickly learns the hard way that he is not perfect, he makes mistakes, and those mistakes often get people killed. He knows that being Spiderman, and taking action or not taking action, can have dire consequences and therefore, leaves him in a place where he holds everyone he loves at arms length in order to protect them.

And that is the second quality missing that No Way Home rectified, establishing Tom Holland’s Peter as a loner in the city of New York. I had wanted them to make Peter more of a loner but didn’t think they would. Well, let me tell you I was not only wrong but I could never have foreseen just how much of a loner Peter Parker currently is. No one, I repeat no one knows who he is. May is dead, MJ and Ned have had their memories of him wiped and as far as the world is concerned it’s like he never existed. He’s like a freaking ghost at this point! The more I think of it the more sad it seems to me, especially for this particular Peter Parker because Tom has always portrayed him as someone who needs his relationships and needs to hear encouragement and praise from those he looks up to. Now whatever support system Peter had is gone. I don’t know how long it will last but the idea of Peter struggling with wanting to keep people safe by staying away versus his own loneliness is highly appealing to me because it is in every Spiderman story I love. It puts me in mind of Tobey’s journey in the second film while he struggled to keep away from M.J., while living alone in his run-down apartment, barely able to make ends meet and dealing with the public hate of Spiderman. I also think that this is what we would have seen from Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spiderman 3 if it had not been cancelled, because as we know, Gwen’s death after his broken promise to stay away from her in order to keep her safe led to him having no one (as he claims in this film) which tells me his Peter is staying away from relationships.

The third quality that I was missing from Tom’s Peter Parker was mentioned above. His lack of resources. Primarily monetary. Peter Parker being a struggling New Yorker despite his heroic feats, super abilities, and genius intellect adds a bit of realism to the character. While slinging webs and fighting super villains is purely comic book fiction, not being able to work a high-paying job or rob an ATM points to how busy and good of a person Peter is. That despite struggling to pay his rent, he will still put the safety of others before himself. It also makes him truly a hero-for-the-people, or as he puts “your friendly neighborhood Spiderman”. He not only feels compassion for the people of NYC but he understands the struggling man, because he is the struggling man. Again no idea how long it lasts, but definitely a needed quality for Peter’s journey, for it makes Spiderman’s resilience all the more admirable. The ending of this film, in which Tom’s Peter is living alone in a dismal NYC apartment with the guilt and pain of May’s death in his heart but hope for the future despite the public’s continuing hatred of Spiderman and the fact that the love of his life and best friend have no memory of him is a beautiful and bittersweet ending. And I love it, because that is my Spiderman! The sacrifice that Peter made, in which no one remembers who he is or what he’s done is almost as sad as Tony’s sacrifice for the universe and just as selfless. Peter really has grown up and learned from his mistakes and I can’t wait for what Tom brings us next.

Thank you for reading Part 1 of my breakdown of No Way Home! I will be releasing Part 2 someday this weekend so be on the look out!

#mcu #marvel #spiderman #no way home #spoilers #peter parker #tobey maguire #tom holland #andrew garfield #spiderverse #green goblin

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nyerus · 4 years

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Hey I originally followed you for YOI stuff and since that seems to be on haitus, I have seen you and a lot of people rebloing stuff about a different anime or manga (i think) with different mlm relationships? I think they're two diff shows and I've heard about mdzs before. But lately youve been reblogging stuff from a manga tagged tgcf and it looks pretty cool--so i was wondering how I could get into it and what its about? Does it have actual gay charas?

Hello! I’m sorry for the late response! This morphed from a simple answer into a beginner guide of sorts, so I hope you don’t mind! I know there’s like 500000 guides out there, but I figured I’d give it a shot too! ❤

So the stuff you’ve been seeing everywhere is indeed MDZS or related to it–including on my own blog! (I promise when YOI comes back from war, I’ll be all over that again ;o;!!!)

So these works are all by the same author, Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù (MXTX) and they are separate danmei (i.e. Chinese BL) novels, though they share a lot of similarities between them:

MDZS (Mó Dào Zǔ Shī) – Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

TGCF (Tiān Guān Cì Fú) – Heaven Official’s Blessing

SVSSS – Scum Villian’s Self-Saving System

All of them are complete and fan translated, and I’ll answer your last question first: yes, they have actual gay characters! In the novels, the main couples end up canonically married! \o/ In some of the adaptations, their romantic relationships are also maintained (e.g. the manhuas (Chinese graphic novel)), though censorship is present.

Links will be added below this post! Grab some popcorn, this is long!

･:*:･ﾟ’★🐇MDZS🐇★･ﾟ’･:*:･

MDZS《魔道祖师》is definitely the most popular work by MXTX, as it has the most adaptations. You’ve almost certainly been seeing gifs and photosets from its donghua (Chinese animation) or live action the most. However, it has a manhua and audio drama (in both Chinese and Japanese) as well!

Synopsis: Reviled as the infamous Yiling Laozu, Wei Wuxian harnessed the forbidden dark power of demonic cultivation. Once the cultivation world decided he was too dangerous to leave alone, he was hunted down, and a terrible battle ensued that cost Wei Wuxian his life—and the lives of many others. 13 years later, he is resurrected under mysterious circumstances into the body of the pariah Mo Xuanyu. Now with this second chance at life (and while hiding his real identity), Wei Wuxian has to uncover the truth about a powerful malevolent spirit. It may just be the key to revealing a series of heinous secrets hidden from the cultivation world for years. And while the world may still hate him for crimes he didn’t commit, there’s one person who’s on his side—the illustrious Hanguang-jun, Lan Wangji—and is willing to stand by him against all odds. The two have a long and complex history, and Wei Wuxian is unsure of Lan Wangji’s motivations for helping him. But it couldn’t be more simple: respect and love.

Scene from the donghua.

Still from the live action, called “Chén Qíng Lìng”/“CQL”/”The Untamed.”

Panel from the manhua.

Art from the Chinese audio drama.

The great thing about MDZS is that you can really pick your poison in terms of what adaptation you want to get started with. If you are absolutely brand-new to the danmei scene, then starting with the donghua or manhua may be your best bet (both are ongoing). The novel of course is the most beloved, being the source, but all the adaptations have their own charms! They’re all worth checking out, and will keep you busy for quite a while.

･:*:･ﾟ’★🌸TGCF🌸★･ﾟ’･:*:･

Now, for TGCF《天官赐福》—that’s where my photosets are coming from: the ongoing manhua that started in October. There’s a donghua planned for late this year, and a live action in talks (info about that is largely unknown, but is slated for production sometime after the donghua release). TGCF actually has the same deal structure as MDZS apparently, so we’ll be getting an audio drama as well if that’s true.

Synopsis: Talented and virtuous, Crown Prince Xie Lian first ascended to the heavens when he was only 17. Once the darling of the earth and heavens for his boundless skill and purity of heart, he ended up falling from grace—not once, but twice! Subsequently, he became the laughing stock of the three realms. Spending almost 800 years roaming the earth and collecting scraps, he becomes known as the pitiful “rubbish god” and “god of misfortune.” No one could have expected Xie Lian to ascend for a third time, but fate seems to have something in store for this disgraced yet compassionate immortal. Thankfully, he is not alone, as the widely-feared ghost king, Hua Cheng, seems to have a special interest in helping him. The two of them embark on a series of adventures that unravel the secrets of their world, and of themselves.

Panel from the manhua.

Scene from the Donghua PV.

The novel for TGCF is a great place to start, especially considering how the manhua is still in it’s early stages (just starting it’s 2nd arc as of writing this post). The novel is long, incredibly well-written, and well-translated. The manhua is absolutely stunning, and follows the novel very closely thus far.

･:*:･ﾟ’★🎋SVSSS🎋★･ﾟ’･:*:･

The underrated sibling of the three, SVSSS《人渣反派自救系統》has only the novel to interact with for right now. A donghua is planned for this year. There was a manhua, but it was cancelled due to some problems with the publisher afaik. Word on the street is that they’re searching for a new team for it, so we’ll continue to pray!!!

Synopsis: Shen Yuan is an avid reader of the web novel Proud Immortal Demon Way. The novel revolves around the protagonist Luo Binghe, a kind child who is tormented endlessly by his Shizun (teacher/mentor) Shen Qingqiu, until he turns into a powerful demon lord and exacts his violent revenge. While initially a fan of the story, Shen Yuan hates the unsatisfactory ending. Upon dying suddenly, he finds himself transmigrated into the novel, at the behest of The System—a sci-fi interface which gives him missions and directives. Unfortunately, he ends up in the place of the cruel Shen Qingqiu out of all people! This new Shen Qingqiu now has to use his knowledge of the novel to navigate around the plot, within the restrictions that The System has implemented. He has to find a way to ensure a better ending, if he wants to keep this second chance at life. His plan for doing this is to be as kind and encouraging as possible to the innocent Luo Binghe, who quickly takes a shine to this new Shen Qingqiu. Even after forced to the dark side, and despite the tension between them after this, Luo Binghe won’t let anyone else touch his beloved Shizun.

Cover of the Thai release of the novel.

SVSSS only really has the novel to interact with as of right now. There’s currently an excellent re-translation in progress by tumblr user Faelicy! If you want to get started now, however, you can read what she’s done so far and then swap over to the old translation afterward.

･:*:･ﾟ’★NOTES★･ﾟ’･:*:･

• ALL three novels are intended for an R-18+ audience ONLY. Other adaptations are safe for minors over 16 years of age.

• Please be aware that the novels may contain potentially triggering content. Feel free to ask me for content warnings if you need them.

• All three of these are totally different from one another and only share common themes typical of the wuxia/xianxia genres.

• The original Chinese raws of MDZS and SVSSS are no longer available for purchase on JJWXC (publishing site). You can find print versions on Taobao. TGCF, however, is still available!

• If you’d like more info on anything, please reach out to me! I’m happy to help.

• LINKS WILL BE ADDED BELOW THIS POST.

#mdzs #tgcf #svsss #mo dao zu shi #tian guan ci fu #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #heaven offical's blessing #scum villain's self-saving system #guide #asks #Anonymous #nyerus.txt

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