I'm about to become the moreos guy but for Reeses big cup

the batfamily is stupid as hell and they're self isolating because SOMEBODY got covid (steph) and then SOMEBODY (cass-- who also has covid bc uh stephcass) sneezed on tim who drank from jason's cup without knowing it was jason's cup and anyways everyone in the manor got covid so ✨self isolation for 2 weeks✨

ANYHOW they were all bored out of their minds and jason was about to throw damian out the window bc siblings right

SO BASICALLY cass came up with the big brain idea of a competition (prize being complete immunization of sibling interaction UNLESS they ask for it-- eg. "hey can you open this for me")

teams were made (just two people per team-- duke/damian, jason/cass, steph/harper, dick/tim)

there were "rounds" and these consisted of

round 1: person a has to feed person b a whole jar of peanut butter and they could switch places ONCE (team to finish last was disqualified)

round 2: they had to recreate this picture and had ten minutes to do so, at the end every team compared pictures and alfred decided whose was the worst and that team was out

round 3: they had to run five laps around the manor with their team member on their back, first person to get through the finish line (for the fifth time, there was a picture taken each time they crossed it) won.

simple, right?

WELL NO

first round basically went like this:

jason: NO FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID PEANUT BUTTER cass: jason: okay okay ill go first

tim went first, harper went first, and duke went first (duke didn't want to go first but he lost to rock paper scissors so)

tim puked in the first two minutes but alfred had forgotten to clarify that if you puke you're out so basically he kept eating

cass and jason were the first ones to switch

dick and tim switched immediately after (they were waiting for someone else to switch)

steph and harper fucking DIED

"im never eating peanut butter after this"

"by GOD EAT FASTER ITS NOT EVEN A SOLID"

"CAN YOU NOT SHOVE THAT SPOON DOWN MY THROAT"

"IM NOT GOING TO LOSE IN THE FIRST ROUND FUCK YOU"

duke and damian finished first and when ppl asked how (they're the youngest ones, people were sure they couldn't handle it) damian was like "i simply moved all my internal organs to the side" and duke was like "tf you literally ate two spoons and a half"

STEPH AND HARPER LOST and tim laughed (his team got to the next round by literally a second) so harper and steph both threw him the containers and spoons

second round:

tim thought he had a big brain for calling dibs on being on the pool mat but nOOO (duke was on the pool mat, damian was the lightest so yeah--- jason was on the pool mat solely because cass called dibs on jumping and crushing him-- imagine all the chaos)

literally they(jason/cass) took 14 pictures total and all of them were fucked up because of jason (his hands weren’t in the right place, both his legs were picked up)

duke and damian couldn’t do it skjdfhskfh they were D Y I N G (every two minutes you heard a really loud scream/groan with a sudden splat and yeah)

steph and harper had never laughed harder

cass was so done with jason she literally shoved him off the pool mat

tim was literally dead they had taken the shot around 20 times and none of them looked good it was horrible (dick didnt even apologize for crushing tim 90934757894 times -- not every shot was decent so they deleted around 40)

when the timer went off, alfred carefully took all the phones (jason’s phone was somehow at the bottom of the pool and jason was tired(tm) so he asked cass to get the phone pls and cass just got in the pool and shoved the pool mat over (and then got out)

after around 20 minutes of alfred going through the pictures, he decided that the best ones were dick and tim’s (how i have zero idea but)

and then the worst ones were duke and damian’s (so jason and cass made it to the third round)

cass asked alfred why theirs weren’t the best, and alfred said “well master jason’s arm looks very off and he looks genuinely scared” and cass was like “GODDAMNIT JASON” and lost her shit 

LAST ROUND: 

so they did think this through and basically cass on jason’s back and tim on dick’s back

jason: HA! YOU’RE NOT FASTER THAN I AM! dick: i don’t need to be??? you’ve got CASS on your back. you know what that means? jason: .... you wouldn’t.. tim, on dick’s back: *snorts* YEAH OKAY

cass: what are they talking about?  jason: NO NOTHING jason: you might want earbuds or something to like... block the sounds... they’re gonna be wanting to distract you cass: yeah well. I’m not distracted easily

the timer goes off, tim on dick’s back, and they’re pretty even for the first two laps, but then tim’s shoe falls off and tim’s like “WAIT MY SHOE” and dick goes “WHAT THE FUCK” 

and tim is like “whoa youre right KEEP RUNNING” 

cass on jason’s back: HEY STEPH CAN YOU PASS ME THE PRETZELS

update: cass does get pretzels and gives jason a few  jason: CASS THATS MY NOSE cass: OH OOPS LOL

dick: tim i think its time to pull out our secret weapon tim: yeah you’re right tim: tim: HEY CASS *starts humming to ‘levitating’ by dua lipa* tim: 🎶 if you wanna run away with me-  🎶

jason: NO  jason: NOOO CASS COVER YOUR EARS DONT LISTEN TO THEM cass:  🎶 IF YOU WANNA RUN AWAY WITH ME I KNOW A GALAXY WHERE I COULD TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE  🎶

(you may ask how this distracts jason but it just DOES)

dick takes this as a head start and runs faster (theyre on their third lap now- both)

tim gets a bit too excited and leans too much and makes them both fall over (they were abt half a lap ahead)

tim: GET UP GET UP dick: THIS IS YOUR FAULT TF YOU MEAN 

cass:  🎶 YOU WANT ME  🎶 jason:  🎶 I WANT YOU BABY  🎶  *runs past them*  dick: HOW jason: JUST DONT FIGHT IT 

karma’s a bitch (and dick paid steph) and jason slipped, causing them to fall almost the exact way that tim and dick fell

dick and tim have now caught up to them, as jason and cass pick themselves up

jason: we should switch cass: yeah alright do you want me to momentarily kill you so we can distract the others and then you wake up and we run jason: ...no cass:  jason: ... maybe

*two seconds later*

cass: HE’S DEAD! MY POOR BROTHER HE’S DEAD! steph: YEAH WE KNOW YOU MOMENTARILY KILLED HIM GET UP cass: ok jason lets go stand up 

they keep going and dick stops for a second (theyre ahead)  dick: hey its your turn now tim:  dick: yeah i know you cant cmon climb on

COMEPLETE HEADCANON jason and cass won anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk

Owari no Seraph reaction to your Periods

I have a whole comforting Masterlist in my drafts and I’ve still got a lot of scenarios and headcannons I want to do..and I have a lot of other Masterlists but it’s actually just to help me keep track of things because I’m super messy..I’ve been posting owari no seraph all week. Nothing is wrong — just got a lot of ideas for everyone in the anime

Warnings: Cowards, Menustration for Da vampires..of course, mostly just these men being afraid of you

That face..is so accurate for this situation — I don’t know what else is. He’s a little lost..but he knows the basics. Seriously, don’t cry around him (I.e dropping food,) — like he would literally look at you like come on..

I can see him being like the one that points out that your on your period because of your mood change or something..like I’m just sure he can tell and then he’s immediately like “oh shit..” If your mood swings are violent or if your just super mad, he’s afraid of you. You scare this man..who knew you had so much power in that small body — seriously, he called you Hulk one time because you got mad at the wall ‘hitting your body’ and started to square up with that wall. If your emotional, *insert eye roll* “you’re such a baby.” You dropped your box of chocolates on the ground? Big deal..don’t cry about it.

If your emotions are in between — anxiety.

Ok, he understands most of your emotional outbreaks though..not emotional — “Sensitive”.. I can see him being like tired of you crying but super understanding — either way..I think he’ll keep his distance if you start crying about something like food or just something that’s really dumb to him.

When your appetite changes: he’s more scared than that then your strength. When he sees you eat foods that I’m sure he wouldn’t dare touch.. just watches in fascination. Like, how do you eat that much ice cream without stopping? Or why are you eating ice cream and peanut butter? He would probably just be so scared of that, watching you eat a full box of pizza by yourself.

Cramps? Holy shit, are you ok? Once you’re bending over in pain, he’s honestly so worried. Although, he may look so unaffected by you doing this. He’s truly concerned. He’s more of the groaner when you have cramps. Because he doesn’t want you to be in pain in the middle of cuddles. But guren holds you tights so I doubt you will be able to really feel cramps during cuddling with him.

*Coward = 1

He’s so quiet when you’re on it..like he doesn’t want to say anything that will trigger you though but he can smell your blood though which also makes him want to avoid you..unless you want to have...No, ok.

He’s scared of your mood swings too, one second you’re crying and then the next you’re squaring up with your reflection for looking like you. If he wasn’t your boyfriend he would say you were crazy..I’m sure any normal person would right? He’s suprised by your increased strength too, you boxed a vampire for some ice cream — and you won, of course. Ice cream never fails to disappoint.

When he wakes up to you with blood in the bed, and it’s coming from you..he thinks he killed you. *violently shakes you awake* when you tell him it’s your blood — which I’m sure you’ll have to explain the whole blood process..you’ll have to change your own sheets because he’s lost. I mean all types of lost, he doesn’t even know what pads are.

Appetite Change? He didn’t notice..

Cramps? He just kinds of nuzzles into you, rubs your stomach and asks if you feel better. If he can’t help he’ll just follow your instructions. The leaning over in pain or you can’t move is really unnerving for him. He just doesn’t really want you to be in pain. Curse these Cramps. Their hurting you. He was probably convinced they were killing you at first.

Would probably want to do Menustration too? Your blood is just super tasty to her, just let her get a taste.

Doesn’t really care about your mood swings, she’s the same way. I’m sure she’ll probably encourage the mood swings making you take it on someone near you. So amusing. The strength that you have in that tiny body is unbelievable. When you fought someone over a box of twinkies and almost broke their nose..what do you humans see in food?

*She probably won’t even care when she sees blood in the bed. Unbothered.

Appetite change, she definitely notices that. Like your so hungry all the time or your barely hungry at all. She’s actually really uncaring about what you eat though, it’s not really interesting to her. Or she just doesn’t really seem to care about how much you eat either. She watched you gobble down that whole box of twinkies with ice cream..she’s impressed.

Cramps? She’ll get some servants to treat you to whatever that you need.

Crowley is probs(*definitely) up for menustration..your blood is tasty to all vampires. Like he’s so hungry for you know, smells your cycle before it even starts. Yes, he’s keeping track. Which is probably a bonus on your side if you have a vampire as your lover.

Mood swings? Crowley knows how to get you really upset to the point where you want to make a dent his face. The strength in that small body of yours is incredible. Crowley tried you one time, never again. If your emotional, he’s just so playful about it. Like, he’ll comfort you just by saying some sweet words and then everything is good again. Well, you stopped crying for now. Win for him. Ice cream and Chocolate and you almost killed a person for that? He fears you now. He’s learned to keep food out of the fights. You’ll go into beast mode for that.

When he wakes up to see blood in the bed..he begs for menustration. Like there’s no better way to clean it up..why not? He’ll pout but let up after like 30 mins of asking. If your comfortable with it, you’ll get the best eating out of your life. He heard sex easies up your cramps? So why not?

Appetite Change? Who’s she? Oh yeah, you eat a lot. Like seriously he really doesn’t care.. sort of just lets you eat whatever because it’s your body. Why not?

Cramps? He chuckles but helps, his laughing is sexy guys.. I think I’ll trade that out for cramps. He’ll cuddle you and rub the spot that hurts you the most. He’s actually so good at this actually. He may stay silent and it may get a little dirty. But his “massaging” is not that bad and it actually easies up intense cramps.

Ferid definitely wants Menustration. If you want oral, this is the way to go. If he gets blood and you get oral. Win - win. So this is actually the best way to bribe him with some oral sex. Well, if that’s if he didn’t already ask.

Mood swings? Laughs the entire time, no it’s not a chuckle it’s him down right laughing. He loves them, you can be so angry and emotional in just minutes and he loves them. You scared him with the strength though. I’m sorry but who fights someone for candy, noodles or just ice cream? And just so you can binge eat it. He finds this really interesting and amusing because vampires do the same. He’s never really seen humans fight for food..like that. Emotional mood swings, nuisance to him. He’ll comfort you but like it’s just not his thing. Finds it weird when you get mad at inanimate objects — it can’t talk..

When he wakes to blood on the bed and your still asleep..yes..he’s going to eat you out. You can’t question it. He just wants to be between your legs lapping at the blood. You’ll wake up to him doing that at least once. No blood is going to go to waste with him around. And yes, he knows when your period comes and goes.. the going part sucks for him especially if you didn’t let him taste it.

Change in appetite? Umm...He notices but chooses not to. He’s practically the definition, I see you but I choose not to. Like, he’ll watch you eat the food but won’t comment on it. As he should. Again, you eating doesn’t really apply to them. They don’t really care what you eat, yeah they may watch you but seriously they aren’t judging you.

Cramps? He can hold you or cuddle you. He’ll run you a bath too, no he’s not getting in. It’s for you. But that’s probably all he’ll do. He’ll read to you if that makes you feel better? Gets your painkillers though he’s not going to let you go without those especially if you have really bad cramps.

Stays....away. Well, half of the time most of the time he’s really comforting and everything. He still keeps his playful additude nothing else.

Mood Swings? He’s scared too, like you’re so powerful. You’ve become so scary, what happened to you.. to him.. you’re a nightmare that’s walking around for a few days and then right after your period you’re a bundle of joy. That’s probably why he’s scared.. you switch moods so quickly that he can’t keep up. You’re battling people for food? Are you crazy? Ok, he’ll count you as crazy if you battle someone for something so simple and small as chocolate. Yeah, but he’s there for the whole fight cheering you on. Emotional — he’ll probably cry with you and it’s probably over a scoop of ice cream you dropped.

When he wakes up with blood in the bed, he’ll go run you a shower first. And ask you to get up so he can change the sheets. He’ll probably join you later and he’ll get you a snack. But sometimes he’s not there so.. not much there.

Appetite change? You’re eating so much Ice cream without stopping. He just stares at you, awkwardly..dumbfounded. Then you’ll probably get on from him staring to much, it doesn’t break his process. In fact, he sits besides you and stares and puts his hand up to his chin. Stares, and Stares..and stares.

Cramps? Knows exactly what to do, you bending over in pain isn’t taking lightly by him. Even if you say you’re fine — he’s going to run you a bath water and make you feel better. Snacks? That he can do. He’s honestly so easy going with this and doesn’t make it such a problem.

Smirks.. ah, it’s that time of the month again. He just corners you until you give into trying the Menustration thing at least once. He’s so tempting. Sorry Lacus but there is way more to it then just Menustration, ok?

Mood swings? He’s not scared but he’ll watch you from afar. Like, you’re not scary from back here but up close — you’re scary. You don’t know wether to take that as an insult or compliment. All that strength though — how come you aren’t fighting battles? He’ll want to battle you over some chocolate, maybe some tug of war? Let’s just say — you won..chocolate beats everything. Emotional, *sigh*.. He’ll just watch you cry like, what else is he supposed to do? Yes, he seems so uninterested in this.

Menustration: Don’t let this boy tell you any different, he loves eating you out while doing this. He’s super lazy — yeah, yeah whatever. But he’s cutting corners just so he can get a taste of you tonight.(my bad, that was cheesy)

Appetite change? Again, doesn’t care. Doesn’t even stare. He might tease you with it.. holding it above his head. Which also didn’t end well, so he stop doing that. He totally call you vicious right after that.

Cramps? Lucas doesn’t really know much on that department. Another teaching lesson. He’s a little worried at the sudden pain honestly. Watching you bend over in pain isn’t what he’ll like to see when he comes home. Other days, you probably won’t even want to get out of bed and Lucas is right there. Asking if there is anything he can do to make you feel better.

That quick? It was just here last week.. what happened? Lost again.. just lost. He just doesn’t understand why you have this. He’s close to crying..

Mood Swings? Stays away..you’re scary. You’re always trying to box something such as the chair that you bumped into. He’s more than dumbfounded, the way that you’re talking to inanimate objects though makes him laugh. You’re seriously cursing out a stool? Emotional, he doesn’t do so good. He’ll comfort you like he’ll usually do. But he may not know how to really solve the problem so say goodbye to that delicious Oreo cookie you stepped on.

When he wakes up to blood in the bed, he’s not as lost because he already knows but he’ll stare for quite a bit before waking you up. And doing what you do when this happens. It’s either because your too embarrassed and he’s says he’ll do it or your on the verge of crying.

Appetite change? Can care less, you’re hungry then eat. He won’t even question you getting up late at night to eat. He’ll just let you leave from the cuddle session to go do whatever you want to. Late night snack sounds good to him, why not?

Cramps? He hates seeing you lean over in a pain every once in a while. He’ll do anything to try and make it feel better. He’ll get you some painkillers. And if your cramps are really bad, he’s not really good at comforting but he’ll do what you tell him. He knows you’re in pain so he won’t push your limits.

Hello! I see that people are asking you about diets right now. I started living independently fairy recently, and I still haven't figured out an ideal way of feeding myself. Not sure if my autism plays a role here, or if it's just me being inexperienced, but would you maybe happen to have any advice for NT people regarding food? Like how I can get myself to eat enough fruits + vegetables and how I can keep from eating the same two dishes for the rest of my life (I WILL, if I don't pay attention)

Hi, thanks for the message! I’d say first of all take it easy, planning your meals + groceries is harder than people think, especially in the beginning. Just remember not to buy too much (produce will go bad, stuff like flour will develop flies) and take it easy. I can suggest a few things:

1) If you can, get good cooking appliances, especially a rice cooker or multicooker or Instant Pot, depending on where you live and what’s available. A rice cooker is a good option because they’re generally cheap, but most of them can only handle white rice, which isn’t the most nutritious meal. I finally got myself a multicooker two years ago and I’m really happy. You may have to experiment a bit in the beginning, but it halves the time you spend in the kitchen, can reheat food, and also makes things like bread and yogurt.

2) If you have a freezer, use the hell out of it. The best option for varying your meals is to always cook twice the portion and freeze half. If you don’t have a big freezer, remember that most vegan meals will also keep fairly well in the fridge for a couple of days, so you could eat your delicious meal both on Thursday night and for lunch on Saturday, which is Not Bad. You can also look up ways to freeze vegetables and fruits - I started keeping batches readily available to add to soups, stir-frys, and fruit purees/smoothies.

3) Be realistic. Like, unless you’re a Michelin cook, you’ll need some time to learn a new or complicated recipe, so start trying on a Saturday and give yourself a few tries. And if you get home really late, you probably won’t want to spend two hours in the kitchen, so either prep your meals beforehand (you can find tons of good advice online), or keep some ingredients for a quick meal (like a pesto sauce or ready-made dips).

4) Pantry, pantry, pantry. Most cookbooks will have a pantry list in the first pages, and those are the first things you need to buy. Remember that if you keep the same old recipe but swap out ingredients, you’ll magically have different dishes and you’ll get a lot of nutritional benefits because you’re eating different stuff! For instance, for a quick meal you can make hummus but use borlotti beans instead of chickpeas, or peanut butter instead of tahini. Why not? God is not watching. 

5) Change up your greens. For your produce: if you live on your own, don’t buy too much, and choose variety instead. For instance: weekly, only buy two kinds of fruits (one perishable you’ll eat first, like stone fruits or berries, and one that’ll last longer, like bananas, apples or pears) and three kinds of vegetables (one cruciferous: cauliflower or broccoli, for instance; one root: turnips or carrots or sweet potatoes; and one leafy green: spinach, Swiss chards, kale and so on), plus mushrooms (a nutritional godsend and very yummy) + onions and garlic. Add whatever salad material is in season (summer or winter greens, zucchini, beets, avocado) and you’re basically all set. By thinking in terms of categories instead of specific foods, you’ll ensure variety without too much effort.

6) Stick to easy cooking. As for meals: you don’t actually need a lot of fancy recipes. Find two or three things you like to cook, and repeat them twice or three times a week. By alternating your lunches and dinners, and swapping out ingredients a bit (one evening rice, the other barley, for instance; one lunch roasted pumpkin, the next one roasted Brussel sprouts) you can cook on autopilot while still ensuring you’re getting your nutrients and don’t get bored.

7) Cheat. If you struggle to eat your veggies, there are tricks you can use. For instance, smoothies and soups are good ways to eat tons of stuff fairly easily. If you eat cheese, it will make anything taste good - although garlic has the same effect and zero bad fats. Nutritional yeast is also something most people love. Adding finely chopped veggies to a normal tomato pasta sauce is another way of hiding a few greens without much effort. You can find a lot of recipes for ‘hidden’ fruits and veggies by looking up parenting tips - and remember that the way you cook stuff also changes the flavour considerably, so if you don’t like steamed zucchini, try roasting them, or adding them to a stir-fry, a soufflé, a savoury bread and so on.

8) No rules apply. And finally, remember you’re an adult now, and if you decide that you want to try miso soup and fried rice for breakfast, or that Friday night is ice-cream-instead-of-dinner night, that’s perfectly alright. You don’t have to cook for yourself for every single meal, or stick to your own culture and family traditions for what is acceptable to do.

Also: a slightly unethical life tip. On b-ok, you’ll find most cookbooks that exist - for free. If you need ideas, you can look up a book on Amazon, see if it looks good, then download it on b-ok. I’d suggest trying three or four recipes and if you like them - and can afford it - buying the real book to support the author. I sometimes do this because you can’t always tell at a glance if a cookbook is what you’re looking for or not, so this makes it easier to decide what to buy.

Good luck and happy cooking!

Is Peanut Butter Safe for My Dog? Everything You Need to Know!

On the off chance that you've seen the viral Tiktok where a lady puts peanut butter on her hair and allows her canine to lick it to manage his nail, you may be pondering 2 things: Does it truly work? Also, is peanut butter useful treat for canines to eat?

We can't assist you with the first till we have attempted the hack ourselves. With respect to the previous, here is all you require to think about allowing your canine to have peanut butter:

1. What kind of peanut butter is useful for canines?

Most sorts of peanut butter is useful for canines. At the point when given with some restraint as a sometimes "high worth" treat, it very well may be a brilliant wellspring of nutrients B and E, niacin, solid fats, and proteins.

Concerning which peanut butter is useful for canines? The unsalted kind is the best peanut butter for your canine. Peruse the name cautiously to watch that it contains no additional additives, sugar or hydrogenated oils. Preferably, peanut butter for canines should just have peanuts and salt as fixings. You can track down a natively constructed peanut butter formula without any problem!

No Xylitol!

This is basic to guarantee as Xylitol is spooky harmful to canines. It's utilized as a sugar substitute in sans sugar items like breath mints, treats, toothpaste, biting gum, and so forth It's totally ok for people yet harmful for canines.

Guarantee that any item your canine is burning-through is liberated from Xylitol, consistently check the fixings name. Xylitol harming happens 10-an hour after utilization, take your canine to a veterinarian quickly whenever devoured.

2. What amount of peanut butter can canines eat?

Peanut butter is just acceptable with some restraint. It's a rich wellspring of common fats and protein, nonetheless, an excessive amount of peanut butter in your canine's eating routine can prompt stoutness and unexpected problems like pancreatitis.

In the event that your canine has any food affectability issues allude to your vet about how much peanut butter to take care of your canine. By and large, peanut butter is a treat, and treats should just make 10% of your canine's eating regimen.

So an intermittent Kong loaded up with frozen peanut butter can be an astonishing method to keep your canine involved for quite a long time and give them the advantages of this treat.

3. Is crunchy peanut butter useful for canines?

Indeed, it's protected to give your canine crunchy peanut butter. Numerous individuals stress that crunchy peanut butter can be a stifling peril, this is, in any case, exceptionally far-fetched except if you're giving a small doggy a lot of crunchy peanut butter.

Since canines are just prescribed to eat a tablespoon of peanut butter, stifling is exceptionally impossible.

4. What peanut butter is useful for canines?

There are numerous brands making peanut butter without Xylitol, sugar or hydrogenated oil. You can likewise give your canine the advantages of peanut butter by giving them treats that contain peanut butter if not crude peanut butter itself. 

Survey #292

“dear god, let’s make this fucking clear: dear god, there’s nothing that i fear”

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) Mom just grabs the Great Value jugs. Do you have a job? No. Are you full-time or part-time? N/A Are you watching TV right now? No. Or are you listening to music? Yeah, "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy. Such a great song. Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? No. I would NOT survive in jail. When's your birthday? February 5th. I cannot fucking believe I'm almost 25. Thoughts on kids? Too impressionable for me. Even with my niece and nephew, I feel like every single word I say just like... stamps into their brains, and what if I say something that negatively affects them? I feel like it's my responsibility as an aunt to be a fountain of wisdom when I'm definitely not. I just get nervous around kids. Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? I wouldn't call it a "punishment," but when I skinned the everliving fuck out of my knees and Mom was patching me up while I was just sobbing away, my dad literally roared "SHUT UP!" from my parents' bedroom, and it's stuck with me forever. Honestly, I think it may be a root in my extreme fear of men yelling. Worst punishment from Mom, probably this time where she smacked the shit outta my arm as a kid and left a clear handprint for a while. Are you the type who is completely against abortion? Why? No, I am firmly pro-choice, despite being pro-life most of my life. I don't feel like writing a moral essay, but basically, I absolutely cannot agree with forcing a woman to carry a human they don't want for whatever reason for nine fucking months, endure one of the most traumatically painful things known to man, and then properly and adequately care for that child. That is such a huge fucking responsibility that should be forced upon *nobody*. "But adoption!" Yeah, go tell that to the thousands of children waiting on you. This is leaning on exactly what I said I wouldn't do, so moving along. Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "I’ve read some books that were phenomenal, but I wouldn’t necessarily go so far as to say that they 'changed my outlook on life'." <<<< This was Johnny Got His Gun for me. Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? No. What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I would fucking freak. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, but I honestly do want at least one, primarily with a deep black and then some nice grays and neutral colors. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yes. Are your nails always painted? Quite the opposite. What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? I honestly don't really decorate because I just don't have the motivation, but Halloween is the best. Were you popular in school? Nope. Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? BANANAS, dark sodas (like Coke or Dr. Pepper), peanut butter can... It's hard for me to tell much now because I have chronic heartburn and am medicated for it. Works great, so I don't experience this much. Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Yes. Once my tattoo is done (I'm setting the appointment the next time we leave the house, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), what I have left is going towards Venus' new terrarium. She really needs a 40 gallon. Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? I was the art kid, and family still insist I should be an artist. What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Omg, Roman has so many. He nuzzles me all the time, will collapse into my hand to pet him, he insists on being the little spoon at bedtime (no, really), he literally tries to groom me with his teeth, licks my face... He is just a doll. My little buddy for sure. Now onto Venus. She loves to chill next to me in bed or find a cozy place under the covers, and omgggg does she love to slither around the bed doing the periscope thing. So curious. What's the screensaver on your computer? I don't have one. What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I am WEAK for nice shoulderblades/muscular shoulders ok. What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? I am an ass bitch and I will not hesitate to admit it ayyyyyeeeee. Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Nobody. Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? My sister Misty. She's planning to surprise Mom (her stepmom, anyway) by showing up in a few weeks with her fiance and all her kids she's never met but desperately wants to. My mom is the only "real mom" she's ever had, and she just feels so bad that she has a by now teenage daughter (among three other younger ones) that has never met her "grandmother." It's just an expensive and long trip, but Misty's finally called it enough and is just driving down here with everyone. Mom is going to fucking sob. ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? Nice timing for this, since her fiercely anti-mask bullshit is all I can focus on about her lately... but there are good things about her. She truly is a very loving, passionate woman that, just like me, feels deeply and expresses it. What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Does grimacing count from a sudden bodily pain? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? Yeah. I'm watching the VOD of Arin Hanson playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for charity, and he went on a total fucking laughing fit. His laugh is so precious, so I just couldn't stop grinning. What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Ensuring "grimace" was the right word for my former expression, even though I was pretty positive it was correct... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my English skills are degrading, particularly in spelling. It's concerning me. I was an English whiz my whole life up to now. My only guess is it's related to how godawful my memory is also declining. So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? No. When was the last time you were on a carousel? Probably not since I was a teenager being goofy with Jason or somebody. What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? I have a picture on my dA of a beautiful elephant walking RIGHT by its fence at the zoo. It was pretty amazing, considering just how incredibly immense their enclosure is. Have you ever played Halo? No, it's not my kinda game. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Oh, I'm positive I've read sections while in waiting rooms of various places. When was the last time you had a pillow fight? I have no idea. Realistically it was probably w/ Jason since that sounds like some cute playfighting thing we'd do, but I don't remember a particular instance. Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: "Retail works. The horror stories my mom has on the daily is absolutely ridiculous. People can be so incredibly rude." <<<< I absolutely agree with this; what friends and strangers alike rant about is just depressing. Nobody, especially those working through a goddamn pandemic that's killing thousands, deserves the disrespect that comes their way. Have some goddamn decency and know half the issues you bring up to retail workers isn't even their damn fault. Ohhhh, I could rant about this. In your own words, define what the word sexy means. So you mean like, what I think is considered sexy, not just the general definition? If that's the case, uhhh. Self-confidence (but absolutely not arrogance) is very attractive to me as a bitch who lacks it entirely, as well as good manners, being outgoing, and just... charm. I don't quite know how to describe that "charm" other than I'm really drawn to people who are unique and happy with it and just seem to have an aura about them that feels good to be in. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? I'm going to look at this question as if you're asking about my state and not general location because 1.) there ain't shit here and 2.) I'd prefer to keep relatively where I live quiet on the Internet. Looked it up and apparently NC's biggest tourist bait is the Biltmore Estate. Never been there myself, but it'd be pretty dope. Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? I'm in my own home and pjs, who the fuck wears underwear with that criteria lmao. Are you any good at volleyball? NOOOOOOOOO. I went to a volleyball camp thing once when I was younger and that shit hurts the hell outta your hands. I didn't stay long. Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Why of course. Do you think some babies are ugly? Quite honestly, probably most, especially newborns. Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I do; going there was one of the most exciting possible things to me as a kiddo. Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? Possibly. I mean they sure are pretty successful and well-known. Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Eh, it's not my preference, but I'll eat it. Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No, but I really should, given how dry my skin is. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? I'd like to not think about this. Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Lol definitely not. I think at least one on my older channel hit 1k somehow???? It was a birthday gift I made for someone. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? lol I already have one there. At some point I'm getting it covered, though. Do you like Robert Frost poems? I do! Do you go to church every Sunday? I never do. Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? No, I don't play that game. You want me or you don't, so I'm not wasting my time on your uncertainty or just our lack of stability for whatever reason. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Absolutely writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? ?????????????????? i don't?????????????? care???????????????? they're not my tits??????????????? What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I don't know. I avoid trying shit on like the plague. And then it ends up being too big/small. I wonder why. Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? I've only ever fallen asleep naked once, and accidentally at that, so I really don't remember how I felt about it? Consciously though, I would feel very, very vulnerable so don't have plans to when I have my own place. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? HAHAHA Y'AAAAAALLLLLLL THIS WAS DEADASS THE ONLY LUCID DREAM I'VE EVER HAD LMAOOOOO Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? My short-term memory is absolutely atrocious, like to the point it seriously affects my ability to get shit done. You can give me something that needs to be done and I will forget in a heartbeat. Now, my long-term memory is astonishing. I can remember many things from my childhood in incredible detail. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? I've had a concussion or two. I can't remember which. I didn't need surgery. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? Yeah: chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar II, and I think that's it. My head's a mess and a half. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? About to the small of my back; how it is now, which is pretty much shaved on the left and fades to near my chin on the right. I actually got it cut last month; we've gone to a family friend for years whose shop is just an extra building by her house and very rarely has more than two clients in it. We had masks on, of course. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I don't have any. Somehow, given my stress level at all times, haha. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? It's too short to style. I don't use any products in it but obviously shampoo. Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? Probably my mom. I think she was in a rotten mood for one reason or another and just being snappy and generally rude. Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? We do; it's by choice, and it'd be immensely ignorant not to where we live considering it literally gets picked up with the other garbage. Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I've never tried carbonated water, and flavored water rarely works for me due to artificial sweeteners giving me beastly headaches. So I'll just take really cold, filtered water. Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? I had to call the ambulance for my mom right before her cancer was discovered because she was literally immobile and in ungodly pain. When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? At my old college, as the newspaper photographer, I took some artsy pics up there. I will probably forever worry that leaving school resulted in the biggest career opportunity slipping through my fingers through that newspaper. Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? I guess about the normal amount you'd see in the country. Some dangerous animals live here, sure, that's probably everywhere, but you very rarely see any. Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? For suicidal thoughts and one attempt, yes. Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Ahhhh, do I know those well. Thankfully, it's been a long time since I had an all-out panic attack. Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? Nope. Well, besides being a vet, which I haven't wanted to be since I was a kid. Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? No. Because it's apparently a fuckin hoax or not as bad as the government wants us to think. Fucking cretins. Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. Real ones aren't worth the money nor mess. What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Caramel corn. Do you drink oat milk? No, but I'm interested in at least trying it. The dairy industry is absolutely repulsive if you look into it, and I'd love to do what I can to take as little part in it as possible... even though I am a dairy fiend. I seriously wish I could go vegan, I am just WAY too picky for it. Do you love thrifting? Oh fuck yes. I've been very few times in my life, but I'mm all about it. Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? I do find it visually appealing; I like the flow of similar letter height. I never do it for "serious" things, but on places where it's "for the aesthetic," it's likely that's how I'll write something. Do you say “mood?” Way too much lmao. Do you own fairy lights? No, though I would like them if it wouldn't look stupid in my room. Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? ... I didn't know glass straws were a thing. I have a handful of metal ones though, but I always forget I have one in my purse when I go out... Have you made a TikTok? No. Do you own airpods? No. Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I don't believe in a planet's position or whatever having any effect on people. Do you make life choices based on astrology? Definitely not, considering I don't believe in it to begin with. How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Maybe like, five? Number of jeans in your closet: Zero. What accent do you have? Not really any, but sometimes I sound kinda southern with specific words. Do you have a big butt? Yo I got a Hank Hill ass, so no. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? In my past relationships, yes, I assigned our anniversary to memory. I don't really... know why, like it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, I just do. Have you graduated? From HS, yes. I dropped out of college three times lmao. Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Ohhh, not sure. Maybe GaGa, but both ladies have songs I love. "Disturbia" doess beat all of her songs, tho. The fuckin BEAT. Do you use fake eyelashes? Never tried 'em. Which was the last book that really captivated you? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What makeup brands do you use? I'm not loyal to any, really. I would be if I could afford expensive shit, but yeah, that ain't my life.

thank you! i think you're genuinely the only person that has ever said they actually like the fact that my bathrobe is obnoxiously pink. and you're absolutely right, one of the things i like most about it is that it hurts people's eyes. i love it actually. if you ever celebrate halloween you should absolutely add your bathrobe to your costume. an amazing idea. since it has a mouse face on the hood it could be two costumes rolled into one - both a vampire and a mouse (if in the middle of the evening you get bored of one), which i think would be awesome. and you probably wouldn't get cold (is it cold in nz during halloween? because here it almost always is). we don't celebrate halloween in lithuania either though. which i'm a bit bummed about, because halloween sounds super fun. mostly because of the dressing up! but i did celebrate it once, when i was 11 or 12 maybe? me and a couple of friends decided it would be fun even if it's not really celebrated here. so we dressed up, even went trick ir treating (half the houses had no idea what was happening and also i pretty much froze to death because i was dressed as a dead bride and refused to put a coat on because then you couldn't see my dress) and also watched horror movies. 12 (or 11) year old me thought it was amazing.

oh yeah! i've broken a knife on 2 separate occasions i think. once i tried to get something out of between the blender's blades, used a knife and then accidentally turned the blender on (i'm so fucking glad it was a knife and not my fingers). so the tip of the knife broke off (the blender was ok tho). and the second time i have no idea how it happened. i was cutting up broccoli and the knife just fell apart??? i was so confused, because one second i'm holding a knife and the next it's just two pieces of a handle and the metal part, all separate. had fun explaining that to my dad. you sound pretty unlucky too! i mean, a cut every time you use a knife, but you don't even notice it at the time? i think it's just that knives are out to get us (it's my newest conspiracy theory). i actually get double vision too sometimes! mostly when i'm tired, but i just figured that it was because i have really bad eyesight

they definitely SHOULD teach about gender and sexuality in school. it's a really big problem that in a lot of places it's either not compulsory or not even in the curriculum. honestly, everything i know about sex ed or lgbtq+ i had to learn myself on the internet, because we only had one class when we were like 13 years old with a guest speaker and it was mostly biology and then a little bit about menstruation and pads for girls (i have no idea what they told boys because we were also separated). so sex ed definitely sucks a lot in my country and i bet it's the same in a lot of others, which makes me really mad

exactly!! it's so hard to tell whether i'm feeling romantic or platonic love sometimes! it's confusing. also i remember one time me and a couple of friends had a sleepover and the friend's, who was hosting, parents weren't home so we watched romance movies (scandalous i know). again we were maybe 12. and they kept going "oh he's so hot" and intensely watching the sex scenes. while i was looking away from the tv whenever sexy times were going on and commenting on how much i loved the house design and the garden. gee i wonder what that means. (still can't believe it took me this long to figure out i was ace)

the breakfast went very well though! it's so interesting how different traditions are everywhere. i hope your lunch and the rest of christmas day went well too! (also i forgot to ask last time, but what is boxing day? google says it's mostly a shopping holiday, is it that? we just call it the second day of christmas and it's pretty much the same as christmas day but there's no presents!) but yeah i hope you had fun with your extended family on boxing day!

having acid reflux sounds like it sucks. i love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day (when i don't have to rush that is) and i skip lunch a lot because i usually have no time for it (my schedule kinda sucks), so i usually try to have a bigger breakfast. but hey, peanut butter is good! so at least you can have something that tastes good for breakfast!

aaand i feel like this ask got away from me. sorry it's so long!

it’s because i have t a s t e. it may not be GOOD taste but it sure is...taste...and i am proud of it. and yes, i love the idea of adding my dressing gown to my costume specifically because it means i’m basically in my PJ’s. minimal effort. comfort to the max. living the dream. halfway through the night i’m tired of being the vampire no one invites in so i drop to my knees and start the mouse act. mice are good at getting in houses and getting to chocolate and such. the dream. also i absolutely would get bored of one costume within the space of a few hours knowing me, so that’s a plus. uhhhh halloween is october which is. mid-late spring so it really depends on the day. it might be a little cold, might be shorts weather. I rarely leave my house at night so I’m not an expert on nighttime temperatures sdflsdfjsd. 

I used to wish we did Halloween here but that was mostly because I wanted lollies. Although I also liked playing dress up as a young kid so maybe very young me would’ve vibed with the costume aspect. I know there’s a photo of me when I was like, 5 and my best friend of the time dressed up as witches at some point, maybe we had our own little halloween. I also possibly had a halloween themed birthday party once as a kid? I remember the little gift bags having spooky things in them and also possibly a bat cake but my memory is too bad to remember for sure. aha that’s the problem here too, no one locally would ever think to buy lollies to give out so it’d just be like um. you can have an apple I guess? at least you had fun though! i respect the commitment to the costume despite the cold. 

that is such a stressful story to read, i fear for your life. although i understand the knife breaking in that first scenario. that would be terrifying though. what if the blender launched it,,, nOPE. i’m very glad it wasn’t your fingers, that’s some horror movie shit. the second time is just,, it be like that sometimes. it was probably just waiting to happen. my parents have a cheese grater with a loose handle and it. falls off. every time. i dry it. with the dishes. and every time i fear for my life as the grating bit drops off towards my feet as i’m left holding the handle. i should expect it by now but i never do. I get scared every time it happens. knives are definitely out to get us, i fully support this conspiracy theory. oh yeah, tiredness doesn’t help with double vision. i kind of need bifocal glasses by now but I also don’t want bifocal glasses so i just suffer but I suspect having them would reduce the double vision. maybe. maybe not.

yup! i remember someone handing out tampons and pads at primary school, i assume after giving a talk about periods, idk. i do also remember a teacher pulling the girls aside and being like yo, this is what a period is, here’s a horror story about my daughter and a tampon, enjoy the trauma, go back to class. good times. we did actually get really comprehensive sex ed concerning most things at my high school but that is faaaarrr from the norm around here, clearly. although teenage boys are good at filling in gaps, in my experience. they’re like little sex encyclopedias that offer up information without you asking. i didn’t ACTUALLY want to know that but i do now, i guess, thanks michael. 

dude. the ‘oh he’s so hot’ comments are so confusing. ‘hot’ is like a category of attractiveness that I’ve never understood. ‘isn’t he hot?’ what does that MEAN rebecca. i think i asked once if it meant like, attractive or good looking. and the person i asked was like, you know, hot. you just look at them and, you know- no i don’t know. what is this. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene with people my age though, generally i just zone out for them sdkfhskdfh. i feel like there’s definitely all these indicators when you look back like oh yeah, should’ve realised i was ace then, but it’s just. such a hard sexuality to figure out. not that other sexualities aren’t but you’ve got to figure out an absence of something when you don’t even know what the something feels like- it’s a challenge.

I’m glad it did! It is interesting, for sure. I’ve always been interested in how winter Christmas’s work. As a young kid I didn’t understand hemispheres...obviously...i was like 5...and i’d go out on Christmas morning to see if there was snow. and sometimes it’d be a bit chilly in the morning and I’d be like damn. we almost had some this year. it’s a shame our climate tends to be too hot for snow on christmas :// like no you tiny dumbass it’s summer you little idiot there will be no snow no matter what. everything ended up going super well here :). boxing day is basically just a shopping holiday, i don’t know if it has any significance in any other way, i’m sure it did at one point, but i know there’s always boxing day sales everywhere. I think it’s also a public holiday (?) to give people another day off work and that, but I could be wrong there. I know I also used to regularly go to the races (horse races) nearby that were always held on boxing day, it was like a 150 year old tradition or something until people in attendance started dropping and I think they finally shut it down a couple years back. I didn’t care all that much about the horses but they also had food and carnival-type rides and such for the kids which is why I loved it. also we tended to meet extended family there for a picnic lunch.

acid reflux is like the least of my problems sdfkjshdkf. it’s annoying but it’s pretty managed with medication, I have to watch certain foods and drinks but I’m used to it by now. I think it’s also what causes me to not be able to eat large amounts normally so I survive a lot on snacks and a reasonable sized dinner. works for me. but peanut butter is good! i’m glad i can have that! I used to also have vegemite but that’s a bit more of a push, it’s easier to stick with peanut butter.

also it’s fine!! my responses are always very long too sdfjhskdf.

“Recovery rant” - basically a fucking novel by Jem 2020

I kind of want to try to recover. Not recover in the suggested sense of “eat 2000+ to heal and fully weight restore “ but recover in the sense of stop being so scared.

I know those two cannot coexist and I know that I would immediately gain weight and relapse. I’m losing my mind. 

Letting myself eat more wasn’t as freeing as I thought it should have been, more the opposite. I am now fully aware of every tiny restriction. Going from OMAD has made this hard too, as when I ate a big meal I could justify it as my only calories for the day.

I ended up crying for a while after eating a lunch that fit well within my calorie budget. It was the first “normal” meal that isn’t dinner I’ve had in... as long as I can remember. (And it still involved splitting an avocado into 6 pieces...) I was so scared that I would be eating more tonight

But also I take back what I said about it being difficult to fill calories because when I look at what I Would be eating without any limitations I hit 1300 easily.

Every thought I have is food. From the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep. I am now realising that somewhere since starting restricting I have lost my personality. I feel like a shell of a human and my disorder is ruling my life

During this aforementioned crying session I did a lot of research on intuitive eating. I have deeply fucked hunger signals due to autism and All Of This but it sounds so so beyond peaceful and nice

Maybe I should try that for a week? Obviously not a free for all hands in the peanut butter jar kind of situation but just. Allow myself to be free.

I wouldn’t count calories. That terrifies me. I have an ok idea of general calories in things but I don’t want them to dictate my choices. Or maybe I should?? But also I feel that if I do I may go straight back into restriction

Has anyone tried maintaining / recovering without gaining too much using intuitive eating? Or does anyone have any resources specific to eating disorders about it?

If you do please, please let me know

Also: if you think this is a bad idea tell me. If you tried it and immediately gained 400 pounds please please god tell me. Maybe you tried it and just ended up binging every day?

Ok worst case scenario I go wild and eat 2000 calories every day for this week

With sedentary values:

Losertown says I would gain half a kilo

Precision nutrition says I would gain a kilo

Neither of these take into account metabolic damage and are likely inaccurate

I could work with that right? It’s not that much of a gain? I would just restrict again. The thought of that makes me want to die.

But maybe once I start I’d eat and eat and eat and never stop and just keep eating until they have to roll me into my grave. Hmm.

Basically if one person says I should do this I will. If one person says its stupid I won’t.

I would continue my updates just without my daily intake

TL;DR

Bolded main points.

I want to try to eat intuitively to stop thinking about food. I fear weight gain.

Are Raise By Itself . Diets The Actual Best

All individual bodies differ. Some dieters need to execute a strict low-carbohydrate diet that entails consuming less than 20 grams per day's carbs. Other dieters will see that produces comfortably stay in ketosis while consuming 50, 75, or 100 grams of saccharides. The only way understand for sure is experimenting. Purchase Ketostix or any associated with ketone urinalysis strips in order to find out your carbohydrate maximum. If you find that you have got a small wiggle room, it tends to make sticking to your own diet a lot easier. I'm in order to be pick on Dr. The atkins diet. He has a kind of a keto diet. While it's possible to eat very few carbs for one long associated with time time, recognize you want to? You're more irritable and obtain terrible breath just to shed a few pounds readily? No thanks. Instead have doing might help you know you can stick with for longer time. So we now know the best way to calculate the calorie requirements but why not consider the get ripped daily routine? Well your in luck! When body fat and muscle maintenance may be the goal training routine isn't incredibly interesting. Now some people lose a lot of of strength when each bodyweight, others not so much. Your workout should conserve the same involving intensity and rep stove. What generally happens though is always people cant do as many sets, which usually is OK because we are maintaining as well as want retain muscle body of matter. So if you bench 190lb for 4 sets of 8 but during this dieting phase can only get 2-3 sets of 8 but maintain the 190lb weight that is perfectly fine. For example, if a food contains 30 grams of carbs and 10 of those carbs are fiber, meals contains 20 grams of net carbs. It's basically what's left after you subtract the rest. Depending on your day, and exactly how intense keto diet facts your workout will be, you should have a quarter to half a sweet potato at lunch with butter and a tablespoon of coconut fat. Along with each meal, have some protein and fats like steak, cottage cheese, whey protein, peanut butter, numerous others. (I have a sample diet on my review here website.) Placed eat small, frequent meals about every 2 to two and a half hours. The body will adjust and you'll be back to feeling expected. It's good to balance your system out every once in awhile be detoxifying your system with well-known diets but no at least 4 days and making sure that you don't train on these amount. Proteins help to keep the hair shinning and smooth. Vitamin B6 contained in fish and omega oils are highly recommended for those suffering from droopy skin and hair. The ketogenic diet plans allow for Life Choice Keto Pills Choice Keto intake for fish and chicken and quite a few other oils that are highly beneficial for maintaining the outer glow of your own. Each one of the above steps is very important for healthy weight loss. Take consuming less calories for instance. It is well known that weight loss boils down to eating less calories than you swallow. The problem with this simple statement may be the do begin and what are best low calorie food selections? That is why it is very to a great excellent diet regimen and follow common sense. Knowing what to do step by step is much simpler than shopping to guess what foods are the most effective foods. It's also vital comprehend portion control and for you to cook.

So this is just a little gift for @scfthails​ - yes it was supposed to be for Christmas & now it’s the last day of January and yes it’s bad but yknow what?? We out here. So a very belated thank you for being the best secret santa ever!

So hopefully you don’t mind that I borrowed your oc and built from your hcs, but I thought this was such a nice idea I wanted to do something for you related to it :)

--

It was a long ride home, made to feel longer by the unbearable silence. Hubert mostly stared out the window, arms crossed and jaw clenched. He wished he could listen to his music, but his phone was dead - this hadn’t exactly been a planned visit. After the fight with his mom, he’d shoved some basic necessities into his backpack while on the phone with his dad, and when that was full, he just used a plastic shopping bag rather than venturing out of his room to find an overnight bag. 

Not only had he forgotten to charge his phone, he’d forgotten that after his mom had caught him, he’d never finished hacking off his hair. He only realized he’d left half of it untouched when his father finally arrived; he pulled Hubert into a hug, pulled back and looked at him, and then said, “Nice hair.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he grumbled, his face heating up. They got in the car, and Henrik asked if he was hungry and wanted to stop for food. He’d shook his head, and it had been quiet ever since.

“Been awhile, hm?” Henrik asked him as he opened the front door for him. He nodded and followed him into the kitchen. There was a note on the table that he stopped to read. “Chase left some dinner in the fridge for us. If you want you can set your things down while I heat it up.”

“You, uh, told Chase, then?”

“I told him I was going to pick you up, and he was kind enough to come over and clean up your room a little, since it’s been empty a while. Put clean sheets on your bed and such. I didn’t explain in much detail, but you might want to let him and the others know soon so they know what to call you. Besides, Marvin could fix that hair for you if you wanted.”

He ran his fingers over the part of Hubert’s hair that was still long for a second, then went back to the food. 

He made his way to the bedroom. Sure enough, even though he hadn’t been here for quite a while, it wasn’t super dusty. The window was cracked open to let in some fresh air, and the sheets smelled clean, still a little warm from the drier. He sat for a minute looking around: the desk, the bookshelf full of books he was too old for now, a few shirts hanging in the closet that probably didn’t fit him anymore.

His dad brought him a plate, asked if he needed anything before bed. “Ok,” he said when Hubert shook his head. “Well, you know where my room is if you need me. Goodnight.”

“Night dad.”

He paused before he closed the door. “I love you.”

“Yeah. Love you too.”

He plugged his phone in but turned it facedown, eating in silence. He knew he should unpack, but there was nothing left in him. When his plate was empty he set it on the bedside table and got under the covers; he just wanted the day to be over. 

He woke up in the morning and for a moment didn’t know where he was. Then it all came back to him. He’d come out to his mom, and it didn’t work out, and they had a huge fight and now they were.... Well, he didn’t know. Not speaking? Permanently estranged? They were miles away from each other, figuratively and literally. 

He ventured out of his room, found his dad sitting in the living room reading a book and drinking coffee. “Good morning, Hubert.”

“Morning. Sorry I just woke up.”

“I have nowhere to be today. I had the day off anyway. You, however, should be in school.”

It hadn’t even occurred to him that it was, to the rest of the world, a normal Thursday. He wondered if his mother had thought to call, or if the school had to call her when he didn’t show up. He wondered if his friends knew something was amiss, or if they just assumed he’d come down with something today.

“Not that it will kill you to miss a few days. But if you’re going to stay here for a while, we should enroll you in the local school. Were you… planning on doing that? Staying with me?”

He hadn’t been ‘planning’ on anything. Not even 24 hours ago he’d walked home with his friends like he did every day, only thinking about homework and dinner, and then he’d made one impulsive decision to just go ahead and cut off the long hair he hated so much, and everything had been a blur since then. Part of him wanted things to go back to normal. He didn’t want to leave his friends and switch schools. But another part of him was still buzzing from the way his dad so casually called him Hubert, and that part was telling him it might be worth it all if that could be his new normal.

“Can I stay?”

His father smiled. “Of course you can stay. I would be so happy to have you here.”

“And can you tell the teachers at school to call me Hubert? And can Marvin cut the rest of my hair off before I go?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll give him a call and see when he can come over - at least, I will in a few hours, since knowing him he won’t be awake until then. For now, if you’re hungry, there’s cereal, or bread for toast. Sorry I don’t have much else, but anything you can find, have at it.”

He nodded and turned towards the kitchen but then stopped as something occurred to him. “Do I have to call Mom to tell her I’m not going back?”

“I can handle that too, if you want.”

“Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m your dad.”

--

Marvin did end up coming by that night, and Chase was with him. He expected it to feel odd to see them again, but they really hadn’t changed much. Chase had brought some groceries, cheerfully announcing that he wasn’t going to let Hubert starve despite Henrik being “a complete disaster who couldn’t make a peanut butter sandwich,” and as he put them away in the cabinets, Marvin examined his hair.

“You didn’t do half bad on the part you already cut. Might need a little trim to even it out, but I don’t have to cut it much shorter if you don’t want.”

“No, I want it really short.”

“If you say so. And you want the other side the same length?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Hey, you never know. I had a friend who tried to rock, like, this exact look you have going on here for a while. And honestly, she didn’t have the face for it like you do. I mean, she gets a pass because she was going through a super weird breakup with this medium, and she had made friends with some of the ghosts he would channel and, y’know, she missed them, but it’s not like she could go back to him after she found out that he’d started a rumor that she used store-bought herbs in her potions so -”

“Marvin,” Henrik interrupted.

“Fine, fine. The point is, I’ll make sure it looks good. Sit down.”

He was surprised how quickly it went. Marvin made a few decisive cuts, paused to gently tug on the strands on either side of his face to compare their length, and then finished with a few more gentle snips. He set the scissors aside and played with his remaining hair a little to make it sit right, and already Hubert couldn’t believe how light it felt. When Marvin finally let him look, he didn’t recognize his reflection in the best way. “I love it,” he whispered, unable to tear his eyes away. 

“Good. You look amazing. I did a great fucking job.”

He laughed, glad to be a little distracted so he wouldn’t cry. “Yeah, you did. Thank you.”

--

Long after Chase and Marvin had gone home and his father had gone to bed, he kept staring at himself in the mirror. His hair looked better than he’d ever imagined it would, but the fact that it was short now drew his attention to something he hadn’t previously thought about: his ears. More specifically, his earrings. Tiny, dainty little diamonds studs - a birthday gift from his mother.

He sighed and fiddled with them, then took them out and set them on his dresser before he went to sleep.

When he woke up his dad was already at work, so he spent a few hours just relaxing, trying to get used to the fact that he lived here now. But when his dad got home, he had to ask. “What should I do with these?”

“You… need someplace to keep them?”

“I want to get rid of them. It’s not like I’m gonna wear them anymore.”

“Well, perhaps you put them aside so you have them if you want to wear them again someday.”

“They’re too girly.”

“If you say so. To me, they look the same as the ones Marvin and Chase wear.”

He thought about that. He supposed it wasn’t really the piercings he had a problem with. “Mom gave them to me.”

“Oh, I see. Well, you still may want them in the future.” When Hubert opened his mouth to argue, he cut him off, clarifying, “It’s up to you if you want to forgive her or not. But just because you’re sure now doesn’t mean you always will be. It’s ok to close the door, but you also might want to reopen it someday. You can always choose to get rid of them later if you keep them, but you may be sad down the line if you can’t get them back.”

He looked at the floor. “Where would I even put ‘em,” he mumbled.

“Come here.” He lead Hubert into the master bedroom, to the back of the walk-in closet. He pulled a dusty box from the very back of the highest shelf and opened it up. Inside was a watch - a fancy one, but not the one his father usually wore. “My parents gave this to me when I graduated high school.”

“I thought you didn’t talk to your parents.”

“I don’t, and I haven’t for many years. But I’ve never thrown this out either.” He held the box out to Hubert, who dropped the earrings in. He’d thought the only way he’d ever feel closure was to get rid of them permanently - throw them off a bridge, flush them down the toilet, whatever. But as he watched his dad close the box and put it back, it felt like the beginning of a new chapter. A chapter that still had its fair share of trouble - the fear of starting a new school, the lingering pain of his mother’s rejection. But it was also a chapter of freedom and acceptance. And so it didn’t matter if those earrings stayed in that box for a year or ten years or the rest of his life. Because today he had a parent who loved him for who he was, and that was enough.

The Grind- Chapter 16

Warnings: Language.

We parted ways in the café parking lot, only for a brief hour or so, giving me just enough time to swing by my building to swap into the proper apparel, and shove some small essentials into a ratty gym bag from high school.  I was whispering regretful murmurs to myself as I pulled into the lot of Temple Fitness.  I draped the bag over my shoulder, water bottle in hand, and hesitated towards the main entry. It was a newer structure, but it’s reputation of cleanliness, a well-stocked weight room, and a staff equipped to provide nearly any fitness services on the market had flourished by word of mouth throughout the tristate. The atmosphere of this establishment leaned way more pristine than the damp, mildewed basement ambiance at Mac’s place. Skylights haloed the front lobby with welcomed July sunlight, and I heard the whine of a juice machine in the corner where I turned to discover a small juice bar. Teal round arm sofas lined walls down each side, and what I would assume were artificial potted plants were carefully arranged about. Clearly, this place had a woman’s touch.  

“Hey Elliott, you showed,” I heard the familiar voice of the very person who had suckered me into this plan. “C’mon, I wanna introduce you to a few people.” 

She motioned me to follow, and we marched down a narrow, quiet hall that eventually opened up revealing what seemed to be a training room of some sort in the back of the building. There were a couple guys going through the motions of what my very amateur opinion would’ve gathered to be Muay Thai, or perhaps Jui Jitsu? I was clueless in that moment, but something told me by the time Tia and her crew were done with me, I’d be able to effortlessly distinguish the difference between the two, along with most likely being able to demonstrate them as well. I was lagging behind Tia’s strides trying to get a handle on all the yoga studios, and the saunas cutting the halls, as she greeted a woman, and two men she was waiting to introduce me to.

“Ok, so Austin, Cal, Willow, meet Liv,” she pointed down the line naming out the strangers. “Liv, meet my team.”

“Nice to meet you all,” I indirectly smiled, making friendly eye contact with each individual set of eyes, and wiping my clammy palms over the slick spandex of my joggers.

“I gave them a little play-by-play on our chat from lunch LC, and we decided it’d be best to stick you with Cal here first for a while. A while will be determined by how long you think you’re gonna stick this out, ya’ wuss. He’s my personal trainer. He’ll be essentially laying the ground work here to see what you’re made of. Doing some basic cardio, and weights, oh, and gettin’ a meal plan in place for you, too.” Tia’s laugh turned dark at her ending remarks, and mockingly menacing. She knew what a hopeless, dedicated foodie at heart I truly was, and that I wouldn’t take kindly to someone limiting my calorie and carb intake all the live long day. “How much do you weigh, anyhow?”

She didn’t waste any time, ay?

“Um, I don’t really know like, exactly. Around 130, I guess? And 5’3”.” I spoke back to the peanut gallery hanging on my every word.

“Okay, okay. So that’ll put her at bantamweight, I think. Right, Cal?” The sculped man towered over me by nearly a whole foot, dressed in black from dri-fit shirt to sneakers.

“That’s right. We’ll start there at least, then I’ll leave the final decision to you and Willow once you guys see what she can do in the ring. Liv, you feel comfortable with cutting some weight if need be?” Cal rubbed his palms flat together. These guys weren’t playing pretend with all this, it was clear. But, I elected if I was going to step into this world, I might as well commit fully, and skip the lazy dabbling. “You guys are the experts, I’m just the silly girl behind the computer.” I saluted them lightheartedly.

…….

The first two weeks I spent under the watchful eyes of Tia and her three ruthless minions wasn’t a walk in the park by any means, but I made it through with only two bouts of splintering muscle cramps, and one upchuck all over the crisp white tile floor of the weight room. My past in athletics familiarized me closely with cardio, so the 3 miles a day on the treadmill, along with 30 added minutes on the stair climber hadn’t killed me. Definitely wounded, and maybe caused me to develop asthma, but hadn’t killed me. My visits to the weight room however might as well have been sure fire, mortal combat. Cal had precisely mapped out a specific regime to suit me, and scheduled each day to target a specific area. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays were upper body strength, leaving us to work on muscles such as bicpes and traps, and some brutal core exercises as well. Wednesday and Friday, had very abruptly became the very most dreaded days of my always demanding week. Legs. Cal seemed to get particular delight in leg day. He and Tia would watch idly by and smile like Cheshire cats as I grunted, and sobbed my way through 3 sets of one-leg barbell squats, and 4 sets of lying leg curls.

“You’ll thank us when you’ve got a fine ass man pinned between those legs of steel, Liv.” Tia piped and cheered alongside Cal as he coached me through the punishing onslaught.

As much as I wanted to break both of their smiling jaws for dropping the bombs of leg day, I was very much mastering the 4,000 calories a day he’d laid out as my goal to keep building my muscle mass. It may not have been the ideal menu, but eating was one step in this whole process I felt I wouldn’t falter. I carried what felt like pounds of almonds in my purse to work daily, snacking them with the power bites I discovered online of peanut butter and oatmeal. I should’ve bought hefty amounts of stock in chicken farms considering the quantity of eggs I cooked for myself. Scrambled. Poached. Tia even pressured me into downing a raw one if I needed a quick intake.

My new team of the 3 amigos decided to settle with a game plan of at least a month of basic training with Cal before I was passed on Willow and her Muay Thia, and fight training. During the given time that had passed the first few sessions, I began to notice miniscule results as I dressed in front of my floor length mirror. Only a slight thigh definition, and a barely there tightening of fabric through the spans of my blouses over my biceps. I was happily surprised in the progress I was making in adventuring this previous unexplored territory. In the short days spent in shadowing Tia, the respect and admiration I already had for her, flourished immensely. And although I was losing sleep due to the nerves that had commenced in thinking about actually stepping into a sparring session possibly sometime sooner than later, was also a growing thrill in the thought as well. I contemplated what the danger, and power, and adrenaline, and ferociousness would feel like swimming through my own veins, and it caused carnal arousal to flicker to the center of my belly. I understood now the orgasmic energy of command that Tia and Colton must feel when they step toe-to-toe with an opponent.  The fuming high fell quickly at the thought of him. What would he think of me now? I blushed a little, and surging tears burned into my eyes wishing Colton was walking this quest at my side.

 It was day one of expedition with Willow and Tia on the mat. I made sure to fall into bed at a decent hour the Friday night before. We determined the Saturday day before a Monday holiday was the most appropriate day to dive into the more rigorous aspect of my training, in case I took a face to the mat, or hyperextended some sort of body part from incorrectly executing a kick to the punching bag. The long weekend would give me time to recover if necessary, and soak in lots of Epsom salt and ice baths, as Tia said I would definitely be needing it, along with making a trip to the market to hunt down some Turmeric, a natural inflammatory she suggested. I had taken a shopping trip earlier in the week only in search of some seemly attire for the kickboxing I gathered I’d be learning, and that particular morning I pulled on a thin gray spandex short, and tossed a lightweight zip up over my elastic sports bra. Chocolate almond milk protein shake in hand, I headed in pursuit of the Temple. It was barely 6 a.m., and traffic on the commute was next to none at this weekend hour, so the drive was soft and refreshing. The brown-noser in me, I arrived a little over half hour early, just minutes before Tia turned into the spot beside me. I gathered my necessities to head inside with her to the torture chamber, but halted opening my door when Tia jumped enthusiastically through my passenger side.

“Morning, you. Ready for this?” she sighed with a toothy grin.

“To be honest, I’m not really sure,” I cocked a look of genuine contemplation toward Tia. “But, I think I am. I mean, I’m excited, but I feel like a could hurl up those two raw eggs I smashed down this morning.”

“You’ll probably do that anyway before the day is done, my dear.” Swarms of busy butterflies flapped inside my nervous, roaring belly at her harsh truth.

“God, I saw Colt project some barely digested broccoli right in the face of his partner during an intense sparring session the before his championship match. I’ve hated the color green ever since.”

I reminisced aloud to my friend next to me swiping through her phone. She turned her attention to me at the mention of my missing other half.

“You heard from him lately? I mean, does he try to reach out to you?” she pried, more with concern than displeasure this.

“Nope, haven’t seen him since the conference that night. He doesn’t have any cards coming up though. News usually travels fast around the city when he’s got a fight. Why? I mean, is there something I shoud’ve heard?”

My peculiar, shaky tone didn’t go unnoticed by Tia, I’m sure. Did something happen? What had she heard, and why I hadn’t I heard it too?

“No. Not really, I guess. Cal…uh, he just mentioned that he ran into him at some bar last weekend. They apparently went to high school together, strangely enough.”

Then, she just, stopped. Didn’t make another peep, just peered blankly out the window, watching the parking spots fill up as the city woke up.

“Oh, gotcha. Well, did he say anything else? Like, did Cal talk to him? Was he alone, or…?” I was waiting timidly for my lecture, like a child who’d just said a curse word to their mother.

“He was with his trainer, and a couple other guys, Livvy. And yes, Cal said they talked briefly……” The look in Tia’s eye gave away that she had more to say, but she was stifling it with much reserve.“I don’t know that I should spill the rest though.” She chewed her lip.

“Oh no you don’t, ma’am! There’s no way you can’t finish what you started now. Go on.”

“I just, I don’t want you to get sucked in, Liv. You’ve seemed so clearheaded the last month. Happy, ya’ know? I don’t want you to get all heavy, and emotional again. You’ve worked hard to get things pretty close to normal.” She was fidgeting. The snarky, loud, poignant spitfire I knew, was brutally stammering on her words.

“Wait a minute, Tia. It wasn’t long ago that you told me, if I’m recalling right, that it was okay for me to love him still. You said that. Your words.” My rebuttal instantly sounded thornier than I had intended once I unleashed my tongue, but it was too late to pull it back in now, so I waited for her comeback.

Tia nearly snapped her head right off her shoulders when she threw her daggering eyes at me. “You’re right. And I meant that, but it doesn’t mean I want you running right back to him either, LC. He’s fucked up. That’s not news to you, or anyone else. He may have treated you like a queen in the beginning, but the way he dropped you, Liv? Damn it, you didn’t deserve that! I just don’t want it to happen again, okay?” Her angry, heeding eyes were visibly softening as she trailed on, the anxious hands that were nearly rubbing the hide right off her sculpted arms, had now slowed. “And I’m afraid once you hear all the shit he was talking to Cal about, you’ll peel outta this parking lot on two wheels to find him…” What could he have possibly said to my now trainer. I firmly settled on the fact that Colt must’ve been incredibly tanked for him to go spilling his feelings to some other dude in a bar. It was the only logic behind the scenario. He wasn’t the man always in touch with his feelings, and he certainly wasn’t the man to let outsiders be involved in his feelings. Unless his feeling being that he was seething, fuming and wanted to smash your orbital bone, he’d let you know that emotion one way or another. Rage and darkness were two emotions he was well acquainted with.

“Please, Tia. For the sake of my sanity, just tell me.” I took a much more pleading, and soft approach with her this time, partially because I felt shitty for being so short with her a moment ago, and partially because I knew she’d cave in.

“Cal just asked how he’d been since they hadn’t crossed paths in a while, then Colton dug into him about how he’d lost to Mendez, but he was keeping the ring hot with all the fights he’d had scheduled, the usual fighter talk, I guess. But apparently the small talk led to him asking Colt if he was with anyone, had kids, how his parents were doing, things like that…”

Okay, T, let’s get to the gist here.

“Cal said he went on for about 10 minutes, spilling about a girl he had fucked over, and he hadn’t been right ever since the whole thing went down. Said he scared the only good thing he ever had away, but she was probably better off. Something about him being too twisted, and mad all the time, and had too many issues to ever truly give any woman what she needed.”

Tia hadn’t looked at me until that second. She finished the details of what she knew, and now waited reluctantly to gauge my reaction. I could almost hear the prayers silently passing through her mind, hoping what she said hadn’t just sent me spiraling back into Colton Ritter’s black magic trance. I situated in the seat to face her, and nudged playfully at her left arm, I wanted to tell her that truth about how I felt hearing the news, and I intended to do exactly that. For the most part, at least.

“I mean, yeah, that tugs at my heart strings for sure. I wouldn’t be human if I said it wasn’t a relief to hear that the first man I ever loved, regrets stomping on my open heart then practically spitting on it. Yeah, it’s good to know he has the balls to finally say out loud what I knew was true all along. He did love me, and it scared the coward shit out of him. He let his emotions from the loss cloud his better judgment, and yours truly just happened to be the weakest link in the chain for him to place that anger on.”

I was muffling the cries I so, so desperately wanted to express, but I was finished, bound and determined to never shed another ounce of salty pain over him.

“BUT, he said those things to the wrong person, T. Where’s MY explanation? My closure? Colton Ritter is going to have to do a lot better than professing his apologies in regards to me, to some dude in a bar, babe. There’s a lot of love for him in here for that foolish asshole.” I stroked open palmed over my thrashing, unsteady heart, “but it’s been smothered and stoned with a harsh hatred. Hate that I don’t know will ever go away. And as long as I’m holding any hate for him, no amount of love can overtake that. And I won’t be with a man who I hold all this resentment toward.”

Tia seemed a bit cautious at my words, hasty to believe honestly what I had admitted to her, but her clouding anger seemed to have subsided.  

“Alright, alright. I’m gonna take your word for it. Only because I love you. And, as a matter of fact, I love you soooo much, that I’m ready to go inside and rip you to shreds in the ring with Willow. Hope you are your Wheaties this morning, Elliott. I’ve got 911 on speed dial for ya’.”

Tia exited the car as quickly, heading inside without so much as a glance back to me. I sat in the silence alone for a moment with the white noise. A smile had snuck like a thief in the night across my quivering lips. I’d never say it to Tia, or Sara, or anyone for that matter, but hearing then and there, receiving the needed conformation that Colton was still with me, heartstrings still intertwined with mine in a steadfast Fisherman’s Knot, made my body temperature rise with hope of what may come. But, the itching question of forgiveness was one that just wouldn’t go away.

TAGS: @torialeysha @eap1935

Food And Food B.S.

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve's Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

If you follow me or know me, you know I'm a nut for healthy eating (punctuated with intermittent chocolate and pizza because not giving those up).  However as I get into eating healthy, I also find tons of BS, bad advice, and ignorant ideas.  I'd like to cut loose on a few.

Read on.  It'll probably give you ammo next time some pretentious git gets up in your face.

Please note that, since so much BS surrounds food, I'm SURE some of my ideas are flawed as well.  I did my best to cover the ones I'm sure of, but no doubt I'll have some regrets later, at least from what I didn't include.

THERE IS NO IDEAL DIET FOR EVERYONE

Anyone pitching the perfect diet is wrong.  Even people I admire or who are 90% right about stuff tend to do this, and its sad and irritating and wrong.  Some diets are so wrong for certain people they're unhealthy.

We all have different needs, situations, challenges, and advantages.  We have to find the diet that works for us.  This is where reading up and a good doctor help.

(I also take this personally as it's hard to recommend a book to someone, then add "but this part is BS.")

The best advice I ever heard for diets that is applicable across the board boils down to:

Eat diversely (my fave is the power plate, equal amounts of grains, legumes, fruits, vegetables.  If you add animal products its just a part of that)

Eat the least processed food you can.

THERE IS NO SUPERFOOD

Gods save us from the stupid "X food will solve your problems" diets.  Yeah, they are usually obviously BS but still people fall for them and then the BS makes its way into mainstream though.  This is simply not true.

This doesn't mean there aren't absolutely AWESOME foods that are great for various reasons.  its just they won't solve all your problems.  I do recommend finding awesome foods you like, but none is your perfect food.

By the way my perfect foods are:

Cabbage - Low cal, so many nutrients, so easy to use.

Chickpea flour -You can make anything with it, it's got protein and fiber.

Garbanzo beans - Serve them straight up, mash them into hummus, make them into a casserole.

Peanut Butter - Protein, fats, delicious.

Spinach - Just a good green.\

Anyway, find your own superfoods.

EATING OUT IS FINE

We often hear eating out is bad for us, but that usually focuses on restaurants delivering highly prepared calorie bombs.  But that's only one kind of eating out - going to some pricey place that loads you up with unhealthy stuff.

First, delis and supermarkets and local markets often have tons of great premade food.  This food, prepared there (or nearby) is close to home cooking on a larger scale.  Read labels, ask about preparations, and see if they do anything custom.

Secondly, plenty of places that make food have cold or frozen premade meals of equal quality to their deli (usually, they're the deli in a package).

Finally, some restaurants make healthy food, post calorie counts and ingredients, and will do custom stuff for you.  This lets you eat reasonably healthy.

Let's face it, going to a deli, eating out, etc. is sometimes easier.  So don't feel guilty.  Heck, in some cases it doesn't cost much more than doing it yourself.

By the way, some of the best places I've found are specialty and ethnic markets.  The food there is often fresh, well-made, and uses good ingredients.  I usually go to a local Asian market for quick locally-made bentos, and another local market is my go-to for guacamole.

PRECUT/SHREDDED/SLICED FOOD IS OK

Look, I'm for decreasing unneeded packaging.  I hate waste.  I know that buying pre-cut foods and such may be excessive.

Know what?  Some people need that.

Maybe you're in such a rush you don't want to shred a damn cabbage.  Fine, buy pre-cut.

Maybe you've got a physical challenge and aren't up for cutting vegetables for thirty minutes.  Fine, buy pre-sliced.

Maybe you're stressed or facing other mental challenges and don't want to plan preparing something complex.  Good, get something pre-shredded.

Yes, it involves waste, so recycle the containers properly.  Sure, it'd be nice if you could take reusable containers to stores to get a quart of cut onions or something.  Maybe we can work towards less waste as a people.

But until then, don't shame people for using pre-cut food and the like.  Life's tough.

CANNED/FROZEN/ANYTHING IS PROBABLY PRETTY GOOD

Look, as noted I love fresh food.  It's the best thing for you.  Sometimes you have to get "fresh-ish" with canned or frozen foods.  Look, I dunno about you but I'm not going to spend a ton of time preparing garbanzo beans just to mash them into hummus.

From what I can tell canned or frozen vegetables, prepared properly and right after harvest, are pretty good.  Just make sure its not got a lot of added stuff that's not good for you (added salt, preservatives).

Also cans are easy to store, take on trips, last long, and don't use power to keep.  So extra advantages.

THERE'S NO NEED TO COOK FANCY MEALS

Cookbooks and cooking magazines have lovely spreads with all sorts of beautiful foods.  Then you read the recipes and some of them take a load of time and effort which you don't have.

I love to cook.  I love to make food.  I also know sometimes we don't have the time or ingredients or want to make an effort.  Know what?  It's OK to not make fancy stuff or complex meals, no matter how the magazine pictures look.

Let's take a look at a poki bowl, that food fad popping up everywhere.  Know what it is?  A bunch of stuff in a bowl with a sauce.  "Stuff in a bowl with a sauce" is a common form of food all over the place, but we act like it's fancy or special if we slap a name on it and charge fifteen bucks.

A few ideas for you:

A classic "bowl meal" Idea I've seen is just mix a cup of cooked rice, 1-2 cups of greens (probably steamed in a microwave), and half a can of beans.  Then throw on some spices or flavoring, and you're done.

Kimchi allows you to transform any pile of stuff into a spicy pile of stuff.  It's a staple for me.

Chazuke, the classic Japanese quickie of rice+green tea gave me plenty of ideas.  Basically I make a bowl meal, but add an herbal tea (usually lemon or ginger) and a few spices, and instant soup.  By the way, lemon tea and garlic tastes a lot like chicken for some reason.

Sometimes I have sat down to a pile of greens with lemon juice for dressing and a bowl of garbanzo beans in soy sauce.  Done.

SO THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS

So that's my thoughts on food and food BS.  Hope they help out.  Feel free to add other ideas, or tell me where I'm wrong - it's not like I knew this stuff immediately, I had to learn it.

Steven Savage

www.StevenSavage.com

www.InformoTron.com

Tips for moving to a different climate

Alrighty so I recently made a move between states (in the US) that have VERY DIFFERENT CLIMATES. So here are some tips that might help people doing the same thing.

Hot to cold - Dress. In Layers. You will freeze your first winter, that’s ok. But layers are the key to success. I’m talking undershirt, shirt, cardigan/sweater, knee socks, ankle socks, leggings, pants, scarf, jacket, hat, thin pair of gloves, thick pair of gloves, WHATEVER YOU NEED. Wear it all at once. Trust me. Layers. - Black ice. It’s a super shitty type of ice that is basically totally clear and as a result almost completely invisible. You will not see it unless you are really looking for it. You will slip on it just as easily. Watch out. - Buy several pairs of gloves, thick and thin. These are like your sunglasses. Put them in your coat pockets. You should never be caught without gloves in the winter. Side note, touching a Very Cold Thing with bare skin, especially if it’s metal, is a Bad Idea. Even if you’re skin is dry, there is a very real possibility you will stick to it. This is why you need gloves. If you do, for some reason, touch a Cold Thing and you stick to it, do not yank. EXHALE on the stuck thing (don’t blow, exhale, the key is warmth) until it comes unstuck. If you need to, spit or drool on the thing (DO NOT LICK, this will leave your tongue stuck too) until it comes off. This technique will work with frozen locks as well. - Learn the difference between between “cold fingers” and the beginnings of frostbite. Redness is good, even if they are feeling numb. It means you still have circulation. You should probably be trying to warm them up though. If they start turning white and waxy it is Bad and you need to get them warm ASAP. Get inside and soak them in water (LUKEWARM, NOT HOT, YOU WILL BURN YOURSELF) at the soonest possible time. The circulation returning will HURT. Do not let it get to that point.  - If you have canvas or cloth shoes, DO NOT wear them outside in the winter. Not only will they get soaked in the snow (when it melts) but most places put down salt on roads/sidewalks to prevent ice. This will RUIN your shoes. This is also why most people will expect you to take your shoes off at the door, tracking dirty, salty water through people’s houses is Not Cool. Get a good pair of snow boots, you will use them. Also don’t be That Guy who wears heels in the snow. Just don’t. Change when you get where you’re going. - When you’re clearing your car off (get an ice scraper and a snow brush, trust me) the FIRST THING you should do is get in your car and turn the heat on full blast. Turn on the rear window heater and turn the windshield blower (the thing you use if it starts fogging up) on FULL. Then go out to clear the car. Not only will the car be toasty when you get in to drive, but it will heat the windows from the inside and it will make the ice scraping SO MUCH EASIER. It helps if you give yourself an extra 5-10 minutes in the morning to clear as well. (also DO NOT throw hot water on your car to get ice off, this will CRACK YOUR WINDSHIELD. GET A DAMN ICE SCRAPER.) - If you are doing a physical activity in the snow (skiing, snowshoeing, snowboarding, shoveling, anything) recognize that the activity will warm you up and be prepared to shed layers. If you start sweating, cool yourself down. If your clothing becomes sweatsoaked, it will be wet and therefore become cold. Wet, cold clothing will not keep you warm. This is a Bad Thing.  - It is possible for it to be too cold to snow. Bright, sunny, clear days are often THE COLDEST ONES in the winter. Cloud coverage, especially at night, acts like a blanket that keeps the heat in. If there are no clouds, there is less heat. Also, you will use your sunglasses in the winter. Snow blindness, being physically “dazzled” by bright sunlight reflecting off of fresh snow, is a thing. Do not trust sunny days. You can and will get sunburned. - Remember to cover your ears. It’s a thing most people don’t think about but your ears are one of the first things to get cold if exposed, along with your fingers and nose. If you don’t want to wear a hat because it will mess up your hair, get an earband or ear muffs. - Clear your damn sidewalk. Packed snow will basically become ice, it is not safe. At the very least put down salt but if you live in a place where it snows, get a shovel. And note, the warmer it is when snowing the wetter the snow will be and the heavier it is. Don’t throw your back out shoveling because you tried to lift a shovelful that was too heavy, be smart. (The wet snow is good packing snow though, that’s the kind for snowballs and snowmen.) Alternatively, if it is dry snow and it’s a light enough layer you can get away with just sweeping.  - When driving in the snow, do not panic. A light to medium snow is like driving in a heavy rain except you can see better. DO NOT drive faster than you are comfortable going. Turn on your hazards if you need to. Trust your gut, you can FEEL when your car is losing traction. If you start to skid, steer INTO it. Take corners slower than you would normally, and start braking for intersections WAY before you normally would. Drive in the tracks of the car in front of you, get your tires as close as possible to direct contact with the pavement. DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT, drive in ice. No one can drive in ice. Don’t fucking do it. Carry kitty litter in your trunk, if you get stuck, put it under your back tires for traction. If you are stuck stuck, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CAR. Wait for help. Keep peanut butter or pretzels or other non-perishables in your car to eat in emergencies. - It will be dry in the winter. Chapsticks and moisturizers are your friends. Watch out for nosebleeds. - Do not follow too closely behind snowplows, they are often laying down salt behind them and this will RUIN your car. (The salt will get to your car anyway, be vigilant about rust, but tailgating snowplows is a Bad Idea.)

Cold to hot - You will be hot. You will not like it. You will sweat. So much. You will probably need to shower more often to wash sweat off. Learn to accept this. - Buy several pairs of sunglasses. These are like your gloves. Put them in your purse, your car, your bag. You should never be caught without sunglasses. Same applies to hats. - If you do not have a sun shade for your car (the thing you put up on the inside of your windshield) GET ONE. USE IT. It really does keep the temperature down, it allows you to physically touch your steering wheel, and it stops your dashboard from melting. - When travelling from place to place in the summer be dressed for the heat, but also carry something light you can thrown on when you go inside. Restaurants especially keep their temperatures EXTREMELY LOW for food safety reasons and when you’re going from 95 to 75 you FREEZE. - Do not. Trust. That the pavement can be touched with bare skin. It probably can’t. And I don’t just mean black asphalt, I mean ANY PAVEMENT. If you are going to an outdoor pool, bring shoes for the deck. - If you’re changing latitudes (and if you’re changing climates you probably are) remember that the “danger times” for sunburn are different. Also remember that the sun exposure will be different. Be vigilant with that sunscreen. - It may not snow but THERE WILL BE ICE. Keep your ice scraper for your car, you will need it in the mornings. - If you’re outside when it’s hot, wear an under layer. It seems counter intuitive, but you WILL be sweating and the under layer will help save your outer clothing. Also get plenty of loose, breathable clothes. Any little bit helps. - If you wear makeup, you might need to experiment with different moisture-resistant types. - Mentally prepare yourself for a snowless winter. It is a sad thing. - Do yardwork in the morning/evening, not in the middle of the day when it is hottest. If you overheat and start feeling faint, seeing spots, or are getting tunnel vision/brownouts, STOP what you’re doing. Find shade or get inside, lay down, drink water, and if needed apply ice packs to your forehead. If you need to cool down quickly, putting ice packs near you lymph nodes is helpful. (That’s your armpits, groin, and either side of your neck under your chin.) For humid places - Mold. Watch out for mold. Fucking everywhere. At all times. - Damp chill is COLD. It will seep into you and you will be cold. Have blankets, be prepared. - Your hair will behave differently. Hairspray, bobby pins, grooming cream, you will need it. If it is long, try to keep it off your neck. If it is curly, consider cutting it short because let me tell you, you can FORGET about brushing it. - Put a few grains of dry rice in your salt shakers, it will prevent them from clogging up. For dry places - Water. Have water with you at all times. Drink it. You will need it. - Moisturizers and chapsticks are your friends. Also you will probably get nosebleeds. - Your hair will behave differently, be prepared. It will be the flattest you have ever seen in your life.

Add your own if I forgot something!

What 26 Years of Processed Foods Does to Your Body

Years Living With Processed Foods

How long have you been living with processed foods?

“Please help me go, please help me go” —a breath prayer I often said aloud for years while sitting in the Loo (i.e. on the toilet)—in the pit of discomfort!

I often just WANTED (and needed) to “go,” but, many times, I not able to “go” for days. 

Constipation is Real

Stuck—often times how I felt in my own skin. Stuck in my gut. Constipated. And like my body was at war, in my own skin. 

At age 26, even though I ate “healthy” (on paper), something was not right. 

Greens? Check.

Sweet potatoes? Check. 

Salmon? Check.

Almonds? Check.

Eggs? Check. 

Broccoli? Check. 

Coconut Butter and Coconut Oil? Check.

I was doing ALL the “right things,” so why did it have to hurt so much?

Answer: Healthy “being” goes far beyond diet alone. 

At least once you’ve been enlightened…

Exhibit A: Day 1 Nutrition School (You & I Are NOT Alone)

“Stand up and introduce yourself. What got you interested in studying nutrition?” the teacher said. 

One by one, my class of about 40 other aspiring nutrition therapy practitioners had to stand up and give their “elevator speech” as to why we were all sitting upright in the classroom, pen and paper in hand, eager, anxious and beaming with BIG vision, to learn how to save the world one  food myth at a time. 

As we went around the room sharing our stories, one by one, we also began to realize that…we were not alone. 

Many of my fellow classmates were survivors of the processed-food, antibiotic, vaccine, sedentary lifestyle and chronic disease generation, and somehow, had all lived to tell about it.

“My son was diagnosed with Autism, and the doctors told me there was nothing we could do about it except lots of therapies and behavior plans. So I did some research myself, and began to find stories about the brain-gut connection—how food can influence how we think and help kids with Autism. As a family, we started the GAPS diet, and my son, who was non-verbal, said his first words,” Charlotte said. 

“I was a vegetarian and vegan for over 15 years, and on the cusp of my 30th birthday, I got sick—really sick,” Lynan said. “My skin was pale, my hair started falling out, my nails were brittle, I was tired all the time, lost my period, and began experiencing bloating around meals all the time. Something wasn’t right. I thought it was something to do with my hormones, or maybe mono, or anemia, so I went to a doctor a friend recommended and he said nothing was wrong with me.

I just needed to eat meat again, telling me, “You know you are doing the same thing to your body that inhumane chicken and beef farms do to their animals—feeding them lots of grains and processed foods, restricting them from all the nutrients their bodies need to thrive. Your body needs balance,” …I was so desperate for anything to feel better, so I gave it a try, and within a matter of months, all my health problems went away. I got my period and energy back, the bloating subsided and I felt better than I had in those 15 years,” Lynan said.  

“I got terminal brain cancer. The doctors gave me 2, maybe 3 months, to live, and told me it had spread through every bone in my body and that there was nothing I could do,” Bob said, adding, “But then I looked on the nutrition label of the tube-feeding formula the healthcare company sent me, only to see the worlds ‘Nestle’ and ‘high fructose corn syrup’ on the ‘medicine’ meant to help me get the extra nutrients I needed, and I thought, ‘There’s got to be another way.’ So I decided to start juicing my own food and smoothies for my feeding tube, and just ate real food. Months later, I was completely cancer free and years later, I have a son they never told me I could have and I lived to tell about it. I want to help people,” Bob said. 

Mic drop. 

Nope. None of us were alone. 

What 26 Years of Processed Foods Does to Your Body

We all have a story. Often times, multiple stories. That shape us for the better or the worse. Your stories are written via your life experiences, and chances are, when it comes to your health, you’ve had multiple experiences that have set the stage for where your body (and health markers) are today. 

Even if you “eat healthy” and “do all the right things” today, your past experiences paved way for the way you feel (or don’t feel) now.

I’m a Survivor

Hi, I am Lauryn and I am a survivor of the processed food, “take a Tylenol or Tums” (for everything), antibiotic, “drink juice as your water,” frozen broccoli (with cheese sauce), Lean-Cuisines-and-Quest-Bars are convenient (and healthy) generation.

 For the first 26 years of my life, my body didn’t see a real food—really. 

Sure, I ate Fiber One cereal, not Cookie Crisp, for breakfast.  Packed 99% lean turkey on whole wheat bread with pretzels (not chips) for lunch (with the special occasion Pizza Lunchable).  Noshed on apple slices (with Peter Pan peanut butter), or string cheese and whole grain Wheat Thins between meals, and I ate a low-fat dinner, including a protein, starch and veggie with a glass of milk most nights for dinner…but even though I was eating “healthy,” (according to Standard American Diet criteria), my body did not see a real food. 

Fast forward to my teens and college years, when I began to make my own food choices for myself, I looked to magazines, social media, and Google for advice on what to eat (and not eat), following hundreds of food rule under the sun. If it was deemed “healthy,” or “clean” by Shape or Cosmo, it was “a-ok “with me including: protein bars and protein powders, frozen dinners, raw veggies, tons of nuts and almond butter, egg white omelets, and no carbs, no meats or no fats (depending on the popular trend at the time).

Eating disorder treatment is a whole other can of worms complicating the story. Over the accumulated three years of my life spent in inpatient treatment centers and hospitals, along with the 15 years of meal plans with prescriptions to eat McDonald’s Egg McMuffins and Dairy Queen Blizzard’s, I equally did not see (or eat) a real food—at least not much of it. 

The universal theme? My body—namely my gut—didn’t know how to deal with the influx of foods that were difficult to digest.  The result? A host of inflammation and imbalances. 

Even though, at age 26 I found “real food,” was well beyond my eating disorder and discovered the art of “stressing less,” I had ALOT of “damage” to heal and make up for from the previous 26 years of my life. 

In short: How you feel today (or how you will feel tomorrow, or 10-50 years from now) is a result of the choices you made years ago.

Survey Says

I spent the entire 26th year of life, studying nutrition and forming the foundations of my current functional medicine, nutrition and therapy business. 

The next year, I found myself in two rigorous functional medicine trainings and sinking my teeth (and brain) into anything that explained more about WHY I felt the way I felt (i.e. constipated and bloated ALL the time), trying to understand WHY it seemed like no doctors could help me just feel good in my own skin.  Instead of believing “bloating and constipation are just a part of life,” I dedicated my studies and used my body as my own experiment to find out if healing was truly possible. 

The following images from a few of my lab tests are just a glimpse of what 26 years of processed foods, lifestyle and gut stress does to your body. 

 Osteoporosis: 

Cause: Malnutrition, lack of essential fatty acids, inability to absorb nutrients (“leaky gut”) and bacterial overgrowth

 SIBO (Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth)

Cause: High grain consumption, low stomach acid, stress, overtraining, artificial sweeteners, low fat diets, FODMAP foods, antibiotics, processed and packaged foods

 High Cortisol (i.e. stress hormone)

Cause: “Leaky gut,” overtraining (or sedentary lifestyle), lack of quality sleep, lack of water, burning a candle at both ends (trying to do it all), gut-inflammatory foods and food intolerances, high caffeine or sugar/artificial sweetener consumption, NOT going with your gut (and being true to yourself), LED light/screen exposure

The Bottom Line

Knowledge is power, and healing IS possible—(even with 26 years+ of processed foods and other health stressors under your belt).

The secret? 

It goes far beyond “clean eating”….

How to Heal Your Gut

It’s easier than you think.  It involves 3 simple steps: 

Step 1: Identify the Underlying Root Cause(s) of your Gut Issues

(note: even if you don’t have bloating or IBS or constipation, skin issues, allergies, thyroid/hormone imbalances and “slow metabolism” issues ALSO are often rooted in your gut)  often made out to be more complicated than it is. Common “root causes” of gut issues include:

Environmental toxic burden

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Parasites, fungal or bacterial infection

Dysbiosis (imbalanced gut bacteria)

Food intolerances 

Intestinal permeability

Chronic infections (Lyme, Ebstein Barr)

Bonus:

To figure out your root causes, the fastest route to seeing a clearer picture of everything going on is testing (not guessing) your health woes. Work with a functional medicine practitioner who can help you decide what (if any) testing may be helpful including: 

Stool testing

Comprehensive blood chemistry testing (not just a CBC)

SIBO breath testing

Organic acids testing

DUTCH hormone/cortisol testing

IgG, IgA, IgE food intolerance/allergy testing

Heavy metals/essential nutrients testing

Step 2: Get Back to the Basics

You cannot supplement or eat your way out of a stressful lifestyle. The “unsexy” simple health basics are game-changers for calming stress AND gut healing including:

Eating a nutrient-dense, whole-foods ancestral diet (proteins, carbs and fats included)

Drinking half your bodyweight in ounces of water daily

Taking a quality probiotic, prebiotics and eating fermented and prebiotic foods daily

Sleeping 7-9 hours per night

Resetting your circadian rhythm (limiting screen exposure/artificial light at night; eating at normal times; getting fresh air)

Daily movement/exercise (but not TOO much)

Step 3: Heal (Don’t Manage) Your Symptoms

Healing your gut is not just about taking probiotics and drinking kombucha. Once you identify your ROOT causes of your gut imbalances, you must take action steps to HEAL your gut (not just manage gut health or suppress symptoms).

This step will be unique to you and is best first accomplished with the guidance of a skilled practitioner. Request a complimentary 10-minute consult with Dr. Lauryn’s clinic today to start your own healing journey. 

  The post What 26 Years of Processed Foods Does to Your Body appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/gut-health/what-26-years-of-processed-foods-does-to-your-body/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

Fear Foods.?!

The following is a list of basically my “Fear Foods” 🤢

I am not pro ana, I do not promote anything. Everyone has Foods they dislike/ fear and that’s on them. Not me. And I can’t possibly push someone into looking at this, so.... 🤷‍♀️

//////////////////

No Bread - IT’S LITERALLY USELESS! Basically you’re just putting calories on top of calories to hold it together. If the food needs to be held together then just don’t eat it. I mean at least for me, 1 slice of Whole Wheat bread is 80 calories... It’s not very nurtitious either! Like honestly bread is not a necessity!

No more Peanut Butter or nuts in general - Though I hate this rule, it’s very much needed... 1 tbsp of PB is 95 calories. 95 CALORIES FOR SUCH A SMALL AMOUNT?!? Hell to the no! Plus I tend to overdo it with the PB and honestly it’s just more calories that aren’t needed.

No sodas! - I mean even diet sodas have a few calories. There’s no way to actually get rid of all calories, so instead 0cal vitamin water, fruit water, whatever. Just at least something that sounds healthier than soda.

Skip Pastas whenever you can! - Pasta has soo many calories! And again, calories added to calories if you add sauce and cheese. Let’s be real, until you get closer to your goal bland food is the way to go.

NO CONDIMENTS - Condiments have soo many added calories! And though sometimes they’re not that much, when you look at it altogether you really can’t afford to add those calories. It’ll make you a fatty! I mean except Relish, because if I’m eating tuna, I at least need relish if I’m skipping the mayo, just saying. (Includes: ketchup, mayo, mustard, things like that.)

Don’t drink your calories - that’s like a big no-no! What’s the point anyways? You don’t get any nutritional value. It’s just more calories! Now every once in awhile a glass of milk won’t hurt, or something to detox/ cleanse you. But not everyday. Just try to limit it, ok?

Sweets - Limit your sweets, try only low calorie stuff if you have a sweet tooth. Your body runs off of glucose and well sugar equals that... And if you have extra sugar in your diet well than, of course weight gain is to follow. So watch your sugar intake! (I’ll make another post with recipes and crap to try!) : ice cream, cake, icing, cookies, brownies, etc.

Avoid things like chips - They are supposed to be addicting! Don’t you understand? They want you to not be able to put them down! Go for pretzels (or other alternatives) instead, if they’re salty you may not be able to eat too much depending on your taste buds.

Limit Dairy! - It’s not that I have an actual problem with dairy, just keep it to a minimum. Things like cheese, milk, sour cream and cream cheese have lots of calories and all that crap. But yogurt is good so hopefully you’re into that!

Just food in general - Well I mean, it’s true isn’t it? Ig soup is good if you like that, but basically you should probably fear everything. Especially anything where there’s a lot of ingredients , calories added on calories just scares the shit out of me! Like sauces and dips though I love them, probably should avoid. I think as a meal try to get every food group in when you do eat, but make sure to keep it simple. Small goes a long way!

HI IM THE SAME AS YOU I JST REALLY NEED AN ASS KICKING TO MOTIVATE ME SO HI BABY MY BLOOD IS PUMPING I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MORE OF YOUR FLAWLESS CHARACTER DYNAMICS U KNOW THE BEAT OF SMOOTH CRIMINAL. THATS MY ADRENALINE THATS HOW HARD MY BRAIN GOES WHENEVER I SEE A NOTIF FROM U YOU CAN DO THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU ANGEL CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO KICK MY ASS WITH THIS UPDATE YOU LEGEND OF WRITING I LOVE U BITCHC! I AINT EVER GNA STOP LOVING U AND UR WRITING!! BITCH!!! ONE DAY ILL SAY THIS OFF ANON - 🐘

Wow that’s wild that was very different from my friendly giant message BUT… yeah im chaotic and Ready And In Love With You And Everything that U do miss cat!!! My gf my queen Who is gonna collectively kill the whole fandom with Her OFF THE CHARTS CHARACTERISATION AND ACCURATE DEPICTIONS. E2L is my fave trope ever and u executed it perfectly and encompassed all the elements that i love abt it- the tension, the uncertainity, the linger…i.. just… wow! I cant wait to see more!!! 💗💞💗💗 - 🐘

Me as annie… annie are you ok.. Tf No I Am Not when this queen right here is toying with my emotions in the best way! 1 second making me laugh fr 5 minutes straight n then tugging at my heartstrings!! That one part. “Its just you, me and my dick now” “and they say romance is dead” THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER THAT RESURRECTED ME JST LIKE U MANAGE TO DO EVERY SINGLE TIME!! UR ALWAYS GOING OFF MISS YOU DONT HAVE TO DO EVERYONE ELSE LIKE THAT AND EFFORTLESSLY BE THE BEST OUT THERE.- 🐘

IM literally always on my dumb shit and so I am now this bitch right here… she’s a tired bi but not tired of loving U… im a terrible anon bc i literally say the same thing to all ppl that impress And endear me at the same time and i…uh you’re the second victim I jUst wanted to get this out there miss cat id eat sand fr u And ur works.. Id swallow an entire island.. everything.. a lamp… ill glug glug if you wanted me to and if that meant you can find the motivation to do what u love! - 🐘

Im sorry if this shshs came on too strongly im jst really. Glad that i found your blog and you’re such a sweet person! And i jst. Wanted to show you my appreciation. In the Gay Way… Today I felt full of love so I was like… lets check how cat is doing.. and now… nOw.. you are stuck with this mass attack in your inbox… N e Ways i meant it all Im ready to glug that lamp and appreciating cat juice!! 💝💘💗💞💝💗💘💞💝💗💘💞💗 Hope u have a nice day n that this was. Also friendly!!! - 🐘

me reading these messages like:

GOD THANK U SO MUCH THOUGH this was really inspiring!!!! not like other messages havent inspired me but THIS REALLY MAKES ME PUMPED I SHALL RE-READ THESE OVER N OVER AGAIN UNTIL PT 5 IS OUT!!!!!! im so fucking happy w how many of u have complimented me on how i wrote the enemies to lovers trope!!!!! nothing against other styles AT ALL but its just not how i like it. enemies to lovers (to me) should NOT be finished in one long oneshot. it just doesnt work that way. enemies to lvoers is the sort of thing u have to build up over a fucking novel. the longer u hold it off, the betterrr it is later on. thats why the jungkook and oc hurdle is gonna be very satisfying. they may be fucking but its not EMOTIONALLY satisfying. itll be satisfying for me to see jungkook start caring about her and even in pt 5, if you pay really close attention, you’ll start to see a few seeds being planted that fly right over his fucking head :-))))) hes that idiot who has to be told by other people how he feels about something IM NOT SAYING HE DOES NOW HELL NO IM JUST SAYING SUBCONSCIOUSLY IN A FAR AWAY LAND HE MAY HAVE ONE OR TWO POSITIVE EMOTIONS ABOUT HER RIGHT NOW is that a spoiler??? idk but u guys deserve it for waiting like fucking five months for this part. im so sorry. ANYWAYSSSSSSSS

THE POINT IS IF U DONT READ A TROPE HOW U WANT THEN JUST WRITE IT URSELF LIKE I DID and omg i know i love the humor in tra!!!! not to stroke my own fucking dick but i add humor into everything i write. MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE THAT Y’ALL HAVE NOT SEEN YET IS THIS EXCHANGE basically jungkook saying something stupid as usual and the oc being like “this is why the aliens havent contacted us” shes so dramatic i love her lets not even mention the scene of jin having to fish out jungkooks underpants from the swimming pool they fucked in last chapter LMFAO i got a lot of plans

REAL TALK THOUGH PT 5 DOESNT START OUT FUNNY ITS ACTUALLY VERY SAD put urself in the ocs shoes. i know she fucking did this to herself but she really tried so hard for this not to happen and she lost her best friend :-( so shes not coping well at all and jungkook (what an angel) tries to help her in the best way he can. which isnt a lot because we all know him by now but still. BUT WOW IM TALKING SO MUCH I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS STORY

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN TELL EVERYONE U LOVE THIS IM SURE THEYLL APPRECIATE IT JUST AS MUCH AS MEEEE i love the intensity RIGHT NOW IM IN AN INTENSE MOOD BECAUSE I JUST MADE MYSELF PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE DOUGH AND HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING