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#Pun
kaussandholm7 · 2 days
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Was hat eine Kuh wenn sie studiert hat?
Einen I-Kuh.
.
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https://erin-598.ludgu.top/q/ZtDsTwg
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yridenergyridenergy · 19 hours
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The signed card that Kyo left at the Tower Records store in Sendai. Photo by DADADAi32
Here are some more doodles that he drew for people too:
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Thanks to kggg_deg17, nemuiyou33 and n_sixx666 on Twitter
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strangelittlestories · 22 hours
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“Has anyone seen Bells?” Asked Queen Aisha of the Bloody Republic.
“The court jester?” Replied Monarch Estragon of the Everflowering Forest.
“Jest her? I hardly know her.” Quipped Aisha. Estragon groaned. “But seriously, yes, she’s gone missing and I need to find her before we all kill each other.”
Aisha paused, then added.
“And there is also a separate matter, a very serious matter, which I need to discuss with her.”
---
In the parliament of royalty, comedy was no laughing matter. Every nation of the world sent their king, queen or monarch to represent them; almost nowhere else could you find such an incredible concentration of power. Whether inherited, proclaimed or elected, every royal who was worth talking about was there.
And where there were royals worth talking about, you had best believe that you would also find a jester.
And not just any jester, but *the* jester. The winner of the grand satirical tourney. The mirthster with the sharpest wit, the most dextrous contortions of mind and body, and the constitution to withstand immense pressure and inevitable poisonings.
The current jester, known only as ‘The Bells That Herald Ruin’, would often claim to be the single most important person out of all the assembled political powerhouses. Only she was not bound by the shackles of diplomacy. Only she could speak the truth in that house of lies, damned lies and hubristics.
And she was currently lying facedown in the gutter.
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“C’mon.” Queen Aisha said, lifting the bloody jester up off the floor. “It’s time to court.”
“Right, yeah…” The Bells That Herald Ruin mumbled through a mouthful of blood, whiskey and teeth, none of which she was sure were her own. “I’m the most imp’tant p’son there…y’know?”
“Oh, no. You can’t see the royals in this condition.” The Queen carefully wiped some blood off of the jester’s brow.
“You should see the other guys- demons- … fuckos.” The Bells That Herald Ruin abandoned her attempt to catergorise the entities with which she’d been brawling. She decided, instead, to concentrate on nestling as closely as possible into the crook of Queen Aisha’s shoulder.
“I could hardly miss them.” Aisha said as she stepped carefully over one of the other groaning and bloody bodies in the gutter. 
“So why’d you say it’s time for court if’n we’re not going … court?”
Queen Aisha took a moment to judge the jester’s level of injury and inebriation. She bit her lip.
“I said it’s time *to* court. As in, I’m about to start courting your ass.”
“You … you would court the court jester? Double court? Court squared?”
“We’ll start with coffee, doofus. And when you’re recovered, I’ll take you out on a date.”
“I’ll wear my jangliest hat.”
“...please don’t.”
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Ya know, Ive known Alastor for quite some time and not many people know this about him but he is a very skilled archer!
One could say he's quite the arrow ace. - 🌹
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cloudberrylane · 18 hours
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Taskmaster (2024): Snooker cue umbrella chin.
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devpalmer · 1 year
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military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps
enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it
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todays-xkcd · 3 months
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I'm sure the building inspectors will approve my design once they finally manage to escape.
Log Cabin [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
[The floorplan of a log cabin, with a fullsize layout on the left, while on the right is a sequence of increasingly smaller versions of the same layout, like a golden rectangle.]
[Caption below the panel]: Log cabin
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viktheviking1 · 6 months
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The reason why Go Piss Girl isn't an option, is because I had genuinely never heard of it until all of y'all let me know.
Reblog for more people to give their answers!
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reactionpicarchive · 1 year
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Mein letzter Freund war ein Autonarr. Er hat immer gesagt, er will sich einen Lada kaufen und ihn aufmotzen. Er wollte ihn dann seinen Turbo-Lada nennen
Ich fahr mit dem Turbo-Lada
auf der Autostrada
mein Ziel das ist Granada
dort tanz ich dann Lambada
und ess 'ne Empanada
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greekmythcomix · 10 months
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To explain my chicken obsession:
* * *
Me: I’m enjoying drawing chickens for this commission.
Husband: ha ha Greek Myth Chickens!
Me: 🤔
I now present to you,
🏺Greek Myth Chickens 🐓
ILIAD EDITION
(drawn and originally posted in May 2021, coloured and reposted Jan 2023)
1) Egg-chilles and Patro-cluck (Achilles and Patroclus)
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2) Mene-lay-us and Al-eggs-andros (Paris) (Menelaus and Alexandros [Paris])
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3) Egg-amemnon (Agamemnon)
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4) Aph-roost-ite and Helen of Spur-ta (Aphrodite and Helen of Sparta)
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5) Nest-or (Nestor)
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6) Androma-beak, Peck-tor, and Astyan-egg (Andromache, Hektor and Astyanax)
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7) At-hen-a and Egg-dysseus (Athena and Odysseus)
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8) Preen-am and Peck-uba (Priam and Hekuba [Hekabe])
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9) Brood-seis (Briseis)
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10) Diom-egg-es (Diomedes)
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EDIT: Greek Myth and Roman History chicken MASTERPOST - https://www.tumblr.com/greekmythcomix/725538723329179648/greek-myth-roman-history-chickens-master-post Here Be More Chickens Cosplaying
(See next post for last 3 Iliad chickens- https://www.tumblr.com/greekmythcomix/722218945873051648/iliad-chickens-continued-11-lay-jax-tel-capon )
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Husk was shocked when he got here! He never expected to be in Hell, he figured he'd end up in purrgatory!
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thoughtportal · 1 year
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sleepy-bebby · 2 years
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