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feyre-darling92 · 2 years

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I care

Cassian Andor x F!Reader

Who else loves Andor? Because I am obsessed with it. Is it wednesday yet?

Anyways, until the next episode, here’s a little fic.

T/W: Blood, mentions of injuries, angst, that’s all I can think about

Word Count: 1,065

A/N: I am sleep deprived, it’s curently 1 am and my brain is just somehow still functioning with two last brain sells. I just left like writing some angst-comfort fic so here it is. Forgive me for any mistakes.

Everything had gone wrong. Everything.

To begin with, you were assigned on this mission with no other than, Cassian Andor. There wasn’t exactly hate but you weren’t best friends either.

Secondly, you were sent to a god-forgotten planet, the two of you alone. It was clear from the beginning that you would have no reinforcements and no extraction plan.

Which basically meant that you could be left to die here.

With him.

You would be left to die alone with him from all people. Wonderful, wasn’t it?

“Thank you,” Cassian said to the innkeeper when he gave him the keys to your room. You walked together through the corridors, finally finding your room.

It was too cold and you couldn't wait to get under the blankets.

He unlocked the door and you rushed in, taking a seat next to the fireplace. He locked the door and left your things next to the bed joining you.

“Do you remember all the parts of the plan?”

“I am not that stupid”

“Never doubted it. Just saying” he replied rather stiffly with his thick accent.

The mission was simple and complicated at the same time. You had to enter a building full of imperial generals and troopers steal the information needed and return. Though the last part was highly doubted.

“We’re leaving in three hours. Better get ready”

You nodded as he stood up and left you on your own thinking.

Even though there wasn’t friendship, there was unspoken trust, something that you were grateful for.

The three hours passed incredibly fast, your thoughts running wild when a gentle, welcoming touch on your shoulder brought you back to reality. “It’s time to leave,” he said softly.

“I know, just- give me a moment” your voice sounded weaker than you’d like but you couldn’t help it.

“Of course” he muttered and after a few moments you stood up, “I am ready”

-----------------------------------------

“Just a few steps, hold on. Please” you begged him.

The mission was completed successfully but you barely made it out alive. That was why you had to drag a half-conscious Cassian to your room to tend his wounds.

He was hit on the shoulder and on the abdomen, both minor injuries but the blood loss was too much to risk.

You, on the other hand, were hit on your arm and had multiple cuts from a glass in many different places but still, you were in better condition than him.

Somehow, you managed to open the door with shaking hands and lay him on the bed. You were shaking too hard and you didn’t know what to do, and right now, everything seemed impossible.

Because you realized that you didn’t hate him.

You cared.

More than you should. Because these weren’t times to love but even the thought that something would go wrong, that you maybe couldn’t save him, this only thought was killing you.

Because you were kriffing blind all this time and you paid now for your mistakes.

“Y/N, look at me” he muttered and took your hands in his, “I m fine”

“Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

He chuckled, at least he tried because he winced painfully.

“Take this” you handed him the painkiller which would also help him sleep.

A few minutes later he was unconscious which allowed you to work and stitch his wounds. The pressing matter of time and your own wounds didn’t help very much the situation but you did your best.

Your next problem was that you’d ran out of medical supplies which meant that you’d have to go out in the rain.

And so you did. You wrapped your arm in a clear bandage and grabbed your coat, leaving the room.

Outside it was raining heavily and your coat did little to prevent the cold but thankfully the store was not too far. You ran as fast as you could and soon you were back in the warmth of the inn.

There was nothing to do so you sat on a chair next to the bed, waiting for him to wake up.

------------------------

“Wake up” someone gently shook you. Wait, you had fallen asleep? “Hey, wake up”

You opened your eyes only to find him standing in front of you. He looked well, thank the maker, but you, you felt terrible.

He leaned in and his lips touched your forehead, “you’re burning up. And you’re wet. Where did you go?” he asked with a voice full of concern. Why did he even care?

“Had to go outside to get medicines. How are you?”

“I am fine, thanks to you” he lifted you and placed you on the bed under the covers, “you should have said something, idiot”

“You were the one who almost died out there”

“And you’re the one who’s got a high fever and who knows what else”

“Why do you even care? Yesterday you barely spoke to me”. It was both you and the fever speaking. But what you said you meant it.

“How can you be so blind?” he muttered, too low for you to hear. “Why did you care about me?”

“Because- because I couldn’t lose you too” you whispered unsure if he heard or not and closed your eyes, drifting off into deep sleep.

What you didn’t know is that Cassian heard you. “I can’t lose you either,” he said even though you couldn’t hear him.

Because he did care.

Why did it have to be so complicated? So difficult to say these three words?

He watched you sleep and did what first came to his mind. He carefully lay next to you, wrapping an arm around your unconscious body, finally relaxing.

“I am sorry” he whispered but he wasn’t sure what he was sorry for. Many things to be honest. To let you go on this mission with him, putting you in danger, to letting you believe that you hated him, to not being able to protect you earlier- there were just too many things.

You both stayed like that till the next morning, both too tired to protest about sharing a bed, too tired to say anything, actually. You just lay in each other’s arms, the words silently being spoken.

And when you were both better you admitted these three words that were so hard.

You admitted that you loved him.

#cassian x reader #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x you #feyre-darling92 #feyre darling92 #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction

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mageofseven · 1 year

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Hiii I saw you had match ups open for obey me and I’d love it if you did one for me with any of the boys!!! (Hopefully I understood your guidelines right)

I’m not too good at describing myself, but I’ll do my best 😭 I’m kinda bad with zodiac stuff but I’m a Capricorn (whatever that means) which is fun since I don’t share that sign with any of them I think lol

Personality wise I’m a very loud person, I have terrible volume control, and I tend to be very cheery!! Think glitter and sparkles and rainbows personified basically. However because god hates me I’m also really awkward and terrible at social interaction so I sorta just end up making a fool out of myself a lot 😭😭😭 I don’t really go out much or have a lot of irl friends so it’s a STRUGGLE and I’m constantly worried that people think I’m weird or come across as like, creepy idk, it kinda sucks cause I do love to talk to people but I can’t help that I’m bad at it!!!!!!

(The undiagnosed autism doesn’t help probably)

So yeah as for hobbies and stuff I’m an artist!! I’m studying it in college and it’s basically my whole life, I’m trying to get to a point where I could one day illustrate a story!! I’m best with traditional stuff like oil painting but I’m practicing digital art too!! Writing is also something I like to do though I’m less confident at it, reading is also a hobby of mine and trust me I could go on like, a million long year RANT about Frankenstein I’m like so mentally ill about it

Ofc I love video games too!!! Mostly RPGs and JRPGs, but I also like visual novels and horror games of all types!!! Currently my favorite game is probabblyyyyyyyyyy the elder scrolls III Morrowind, I love that game to death! I play league of legends too and YES I GENUINELY THINK ITS FUN 😭😭😭😭 anyway,,, I like anime and manga too, haven’t been that crazy about it for a while but still, oh and I cosplay too!!

ALSO ALSO I love stuffed animals I have a huge collections of them and I cannot sleep without at least one because my cat is MEAN and refuses to sleep besides me at night and I get lonely :(

Okay I think that’s it sorry if I rambled on for ages looll I just rlly rlly love obey me atm and I’m in love with every single one of the guys!!! (sans luke obvi he’s my son) Hopefully I gave you enough to work with ^v^ have a nice day!!!!!!!!!! <3 ✨ ✨

- 🦄 (my cool anon signature even tho this is just one part)

Awwww first off, bless you for feeling the love for our precious baby angel son Lukey 🥰💕

Secondly, despite keeping all of the Boys in mind, your description brought two Brothers to mind, but one yelled louder in my head

And this is partially because of your own volume since you said you have bad volume control, but are cheerful~

I pair you with...

Mammon

This man would love your cutesy, cheerful personality! And it would make his brain short circuit at times 😅

Getting together would be a bit difficult considering considering you're awkward and struggle with social skills and this man is extremely awkward for those he has feelings for. He will make a fool out himself time and time again.

Honestly, y'all will probably be best friends long before you date, giving you plenty of time to get comfy with with him and show your loud n' sweet side. Like dear, neither of y'all know how to control your volume, to the dismay of the other brothers, but it's okay bc you're both having fun!

When people think video games, they usually think Levi, but Mammon like playing them too! He'd love to play games with you or even watch you play your favorite games (though he'll probably talk the entire time you play so hopefully you don't mind 😅)

Honestly, he knows very little about art, but I think he'd enjoy watching you draw, especially when using oil painting because I doubt he's truly seen anyone do anything like that before. He'd be honestly impressed by your skill, but maybe a biiiiiit too embarrassed to say so at first.

Also, HE WILL BUY YOU SOOOO MANY NEW STUFFIES. Like for real, he finds you collecting stuffed animals to be really cute. I can totally see him just randomly buying you more stuffies, but even more so, this man will take every chance he gets to win you one from a crane game and show off his skills...or lack there of lol.

I did think about pairing you with Levi, but I think the third brother would appreciate your lack of volume control less than Mammon does.

#matchup requests #obey me #obey me otome #🦄-Nonnie #obey me mammon

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the-thirteenth-prime · 2 years

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Just Random Miquella (and Haligtree) Things

Coming off the success of my last serious shitpost (i.e. in which I use ridiculous imagery to describe serious headcanons), here’s a more flat-serious collection of thoughts on Miquella, because my god he is my favorite character and we never even see anything other than a hand from a cocoon.

TW: Non-graphic discussions of child abuse, sexual assault, child grooming, and familial abuse below.

Given the talk of ‘is Miquella more childlike or is he a tiny adult’, I tend to straddle the happy medium. There are a lot of children in real life who are absolutely brilliant--you know, members of MENSA, graduating law/medical school at the age of 13, that sort of thing. Yet there are parts of your brain that don’t fully develop until you’re much older (all the way up to 26-years-old), no matter how brilliant you may be as a child, and I think that’s part of what Miquella was seeking in his hibernation. No matter how much he tried, he was still trapped in the mind of a child, and there was just some shit he couldn’t get a handle on in terms of his research into scarlet rot and unalloyed gold. In order to have the mental ‘capacity’ to put together the pieces he needed to save both his sister and the Lands Between, he needed to not only ascend to godhood in terms of powers and physicality, but also grow up mentally.

I really don’t get why people look at the bewitching branches and immediately go ‘Miquella is a master manipulator and only has followers because of said magical manipulation powers’. Firstly, we don’t get any mention of his ability to ‘compel’ affection outside of the bewitching branch. Secondly, given the ‘Queen of Lothric’ nonsense and the Ranni translation nonsense, I do not trust the English translations of item descriptions as far as I can throw them, so I take the use of ‘compel’ with a grain of salt. Thirdly, the effect of the bewitching branches lasts only 30 seconds or so, implying a more self-defense/protection function than a permanent manipulation. Fourthly, there are no bewitching branches to be found in the Haligtree, and given FromSoft’s unparalleled skill at environmental storytelling, I highly doubt they’d be going for the ‘master manipulator’ angle without giving environmental evidence at Miquella’s home turf.

Honestly, maybe Miquella and Malenia have devoted followers because they’re well-liked?? Like, here’s this sweet, charming, kind, lovely child who can soothe your dreams and offer you a home in a world where you are offered none. He wishes to dismantle the horrid power structures and Elder Gods that have kneecapped your lives before they can forgive. He gives the albinaurics an entire town to themselves and tasks them with guarding the entrance to the Haligtree (and don’t give me ‘well there are no albinaurics in the Haligtree’. Dude, you try climbing down a tree’s branches with no working legs and on a wolf’s back). He shelters the Misbegotten, who have been universally used across the rest of the Lands Between as slaves. Given that Mohg knows about him, it’s also likely that he’s attempted to help the Omen in the past, too. Maybe Miquella’s followers and the citizens of the Haligtree like him for his own merits. Not everything has to be a grand, grimdark conspiracy.

I also think that Miquella developed the bewitching branches as a safety measure. Given that he and his sister are two of the only three Empyreans in existence, and Miquella is trapped in the small, frail, and easily-overpowered body of a child, an ability to be able to disengage from any assaulter or assassins would be key. Malenia can’t be with him 24/7, no matter how much she wishes she could be. Kiddo had to have a way to protect himself and a way to do so without causing harm or death is not only far more feasible for someone his physical age, but also far more desirable for such a kind heart.

I ALSO ALSO think Miquella can just, use his natural charisma to charm the pants off of people. That’s as deep as I see the ‘compelling’ going outside of the occasional bewitching branch use lol.

I feel like Miquella’s main goal broadened from trying to only heal his sister when he began to explore the dreams of others. When he took on the role of Saint Trina, he was able to see the dreams and nightmares of all in the Lands Between, especially the meek, weak, and forlorn. It wouldn’t take long for him to realize that expelling the Outer Gods and overthrowing the Golden Order would save more than his sister.

I like to think that Miquella started sprouting the Haligtree while they still lived in Leyndell, and then--after relations with their parents soured--he and Malenia took the sapling with them when they left to search for a new home. Ordina was probably their first settlement while Miquella encouraged the Haligtree to grow into a homestead, and that’s probably when they met all those exiled and abandoned in the Consecrated Snowfield, who became Miquella and Malenia’s first followers. Once the Haligtree was big and strong enough to house many people, Miquella began to design and construct a settlement for the many and the meek, which became Haligtree Town.

Elphael was meant to be more of a royal residence, a military garrison, and a proverbial ‘main street’. I like to imagine that his and Malenia’s quarters are tucked somewhere close to the roots, for both easy ‘gardening’ and ‘growing’ access. Given how big Malenia’s boss room may be, it was also probably meant to be a shelter for the citizenry in the event of the Haligtree being breached by hostile forces.

One day, I’ll get into more detail on my ‘longstanding Empyrean Alliance’ headcanon and how it lead to the Radahn/Malenia conflict, but I’ll say with near certainty that the House of Caria and the House of the Haligtree had a long-standing, cooperative relationship that only faltered when Rennala was imprisoned, Malenia was injured and comatose, and Miquella was abducted. The fact that Loretta is both a Carian Royal Knight and Knight of the Haligtree, the fact that the Miquellian Knight Sword being modeled after the Carian Knight Sword, and the fact that Malenia and the Cleanrot Army was clearly allowed to pass through Liurnia unhindered and made no action against Linuria allow this theory to stand on its own merit without much speculation.

Other than visits to Liurnia to see Ranni and Rennala, Miquella and Malenia do not venture often into the greater Lands Between unless it’s for the purpose of ‘vacationing’, research, or training. They also never go to Leyndell unless it’s for holidays, funerals, or family emergencies.

I feel like Miquella’s childlike appearance and the natural patronization that comes from that helped him keep the Haligtree’s true intent from his parents and the Golden Order in general. His natural charm also probably helped keep him the ‘golden child’ even while he planned on usurping the Greater Will. The only ones in the royal family that knew of his true intentions were Rennala, Ranni, Rykard, and (of course) Malenia.

I don’t think the Haligtree was ever meant to become an Erdtree. I think Miquella wished for it to be a new Crucible Tree.

I’m convinced that Miquella went into hibernation after the Shattering occurred and right before Malenia left for Caelid. For one, he was awake long enough to craft the Golden Epitaph for Godwyn’s tomb. For another, I really doubt Malenia would have left him unprotected and vulnerable in his cocoon to lead the long campaign against the Redmane Army without Miquella’s insistence/encouragement.

Unfortunately, we’ve now come to the Mohg part of the headcanons, and let me flat out state that I believe he is a child groomer and pedophile. I do not believe at all that Miquella would consent to be ripped away from his Haligtree and his safe place, to be separated from his sister, and bathed in blood on a daily basis. Nothing in the lore and item descriptions suggest that this was consensual or wanted by him. Everything suggests an act of violence and violation on the part of Mohg. Do I think direct sexual assault is involved? I dunno. Do I believe that figuratively (and kind of literally) drowning Miquella in your own body in the form of blood is just as much of a heinous violation? Yes. Mohg apologists do not interact.

Mohg likely waited for Malenia to be well on the way to Caelid before commencing his abduction. He probably avoided the Haligtree’s considerable defenses and sneaked past the Ordina guards via his blood form and only committed casualties as he was actively carrying Miquella out. Given the Sanguine Noble guarding the portal to his palace, it’s likely he had a few of them with him to help, as well.

I’m also wondering whether or not Mohg deliberately manipulated the conflict between Malenia and Radahn to have the opportunity to not only get them both out of the way, but to snatch his future consort. That’s a post for another day, however.

You cannot convince me that Malenia didn’t try to search for Miquella to her utmost ability once she woke up from her coma and learned he was gone. However, given that the only two ways to find the Mohgwyn Dynasty Mausoleum are 1) to do Varre’s quest, and 2) to find the portal at the very outskirts of the Consecrated Snowfield, which is massive, barren, and covered with a perpetual blizzard, it was likely that she just. Couldn’t find him. Penetrating into Siofra River by normal means also would have been impossible with the stars halted by Radahn, as Blaidd discovered in game. Once she scoured the Lands Between and turned up nothing, she was left with no other choice but to wait for him to return, and that’s when she fell into her depression nap.

I think Malenia and Miquella have a soul bond akin to the D-twins, which is also hindered by Mohg’s blood magic and Radahn’s binding of the stars. It’s probably distressing to the both of them, and Miquella’s probably aware that something is wrong; however, he’s likely trying to finish his metamorphosis as soon as possible, because he knows it’s the only way to have any real power to help his sister. (He also may just not want to wake up, because he senses that something is happening to him, and that being asleep is likely his only defense until he’s big enough to fight back.)

Also, given the information from dataminers that a body that looked very different from the current cocoon body was given to Miquella before his questlines were removed, I am firmly in the camp of the current body in the cocoon being a placeholder body: that, or it’s a bunch of old, crusty skin he’s gonna shed off like a cicada the moment he leaves the cocoon.

I feel like that’s enough headcanons for now. I may make a sequel one day and if anyone is interested.

#Elden Ring #miquella the unalloyed #malenia blade of miquella #malenia the severed #miquella #malenia #saint trina #mohg lord of blood #mohgwyn #tw: discussion of child abuse #cw: discussion of child abuse #tw: discussion of child grooming #cw: discussion of child grooming #headcanons #headcanon #haligtree #elphael brace of the haligtree #haligtree town

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probably-haven · 3 years

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Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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not-poignant · 3 years

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Do you think many things have changed about you being a writer online since the beginning of the Fae Tales Universe compared to now? Not only writing style, but including how you are online, or how you think about fandom?

Oooooo

*thinks*

Actually yeah, I mean writing style yes, but in terms of how I think about fandom and how I am online, that has changed a lot. (Adding a Read More because oh god this got LONG).

I used to like, try and be 100% kind all the time, since firstly that comes very naturally to me, and secondly because I was so like...happy and thrilled that folks were communicating with me in the beginning.

But then I was taken advantage of, and one person in particular was abusive, and at the time I didn’t see it for what it was. I’ve also been stalked. I’ve had someone turn up on my doorstep uninvited. And over time I think I’ve become no less grateful (if anything I’m more grateful for the amazing readers), but also more wary? Like, I’m more likely to delete troll messages, than I used to. And sometimes I think it will be more obvious if I’m impatient or if I’m asserting a boundary in an ask response.

Radiotherapy to the head/neck for the cancer I have also really altered things there. I realised I could die at any moment, life is really short, my tumours could metastasise at any time (I actually have one that’s growing at the moment, which is alarming) and that I don’t really have the...patience I guess, to spend time constantly saying ‘this isn’t a music rec blog’ or ‘please don’t recommend books to me because most of the time I don’t like them and people tend to resent me for it’ (as an example) year after year after year. Or to deal with bad faith anons, or anons who just enjoy the novelty of getting me to answer incessant questions about space or something else that has nothing to really do with me. I can’t tell you how many asks I’ve gotten about ‘will you ever make Augus and Gwyn dads, could they adopt a baby’ but it’s a lot and I’ve deleted most of them.

So I actually think I’m more realistically human than I used to be, online. Which is a weird thing to say, right? And maybe that pisses people off. I’ve always been very opinionated, probably to my detriment, that’s never really changed. I’m still going to tell antis to go fuck themselves.

I try and stick to a policy now with messages that piss me off, which is ‘take time before you reply to this.’ I don’t always succeed, but I usually like to wait 12-24 hours before I reply to those messages (or delete them), so I can at least give a fair and moderate response. I really hate feeling like I just got angry at someone who’s possibly only 18 years old and doesn’t really know how to articulate themselves well on the internet, and it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between ‘troll’ and ‘someone who really just is nervous and shy and doesn’t know how to phrase their question.’

In terms of fandom, I love replying to comments more than ever, actually. Like I love it. I love kudos even more than I used to. I really am grateful for all reader engagement. But I don’t have as much time and energy as I used to respond to every ask, so I respond to asks less, and I respond to them in a less timely manner. I really hate that, but sometimes it’s like ‘I can’t spend all of today replying to asks, I literally have to write the chapters that people want to read.’ I also get social anxiety around asks, and people can be impatient - like no one sends a second comment on AO3 going ‘heyyyy you haven’t replied to my comment yet’ - but you’d be surprised how much people put pressure on you on Tumblr sometimes, as though I also don’t have social anxiety and things might be really stressing me out. :(

In terms of my priority, it’s always 1. Writing content, 2. Replying to comments / being active on the Discord, 3. Replying on Patreon when necessary, 4. Replying to asks. If I’m behind on writing, everything else gets hit. I think when I first started out, I actually put comments and asks ahead of writing content sometimes, but now I know I will literally spend all my time responding to folks and that’s a me problem, and I’ve worked on that since lmao.

I’ve realised over the years that instead of just writing for myself, like I always used to, I also just want to deliver so many of you wonderful people good stories. This has come to matter to me more. The best way, I think, to repay some of the amazing faith and love you’ve all showed me, is to try and give you the best possible writing I can until like, my cancer makes that impossible. And so I’ve become a lot more focused as a writer, and a lot more like ‘this is where I want to be.’

I’ve also realised I care a lot less about traditional publishing, I really love serials! Er, that was a big one, I thought one day I’d transition from writing serials online to publishing books, but now I would like to always be writing serials, and publish books on the side. In a perfect world, I could also publish the serials as books too, so people could own them if they wanted to.

I’ve also seen over the years the rise of antis, and puritanical censorship, and more, and that’s made me angrier, and also much, much stronger re: feeling centred in what I write and what I have written. So I feel like I am much more like...genuinely not bothered by what antis have to say to me, and ironically I get less bothered by antis than ever before, probably because they know that I’m Teflon with claws whenever it comes to any of their rhetoric. I have a media degree that says they have no idea what they’re talking about, and I’m angry on behalf of all the readers who feel ashamed for reading certain content, and who deserve not to feel that way. So that’s like...a thing that’s changed over the years - my anger, and my anger on behalf of readers who might feel guilty or ashamed for liking noncon or incest or underage in fiction. It’s fiction. They’re allowed to engage in that without being afraid of being bullied for it. But that’s not the world we live in.

To be honest, a lot of the changes have been positive! I’ve become more sure and focused, I’ve actually become happier as a writer and a person, and I enjoy the fandom experience more, as well as writing fanfiction and stuff. I wish I had more time to like... chat about AUs and stuff and write Tumblr posts like I used to, but radiotherapy hit me pretty hard with some permanent energy loss and side effects, and so where things have changed in a bad way, it’s almost always because of health and not because I love fandom any less. And where I’ve changed in terms of sometimes being a bit more cynical about anon asks I try and remind myself to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and to just remind myself that I have my boundaries, and I’m safe/okay. I hate that I have to do that nowadays, but it was kind of stupid that I didn’t do it before.

I can’t believe how like... how lucky I am to be here. Lucky to be alive. Lucky to write for you all. Lucky to write stories I love. Lucky to reply to comments and asks like this one. I don’t ever want to lose sight of that or the gratitude.

I think the day I stop being grateful, is the day I need to walk away. It’s humbling, honestly, and I feel that more and more over time, and not less. Even when I’m an opinionated dumbass who writes too much most of the time, lmao.

(I didn’t even get to talking about how my writing style changed I’m sorry anon THIS GOT SO LONG FUCK)

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thiswomanshouldbewriting · 3 years

Text

Okay, that God-awful Winx live action got me thinking about how I would deal with making a Winx adaptation and while I will, at some point, make a post with all the possible plot lines I would have explored, I want to dedicate a whole post to the world building changes I would have made and that I’m devoting way too much thought to.

I think the first issue when making a Winx adaptation is whether to keep the three schools or, as they did in the Netflix show, merge them into one. I understand that in the cartoon the division was used to make a clear distinction between heroes, villains and love interests (ah yes, the three kinds of magic: good, bad, and hot guys) but I really liked it and I want to make it work in a more adult story as well. The one thing I would keep from the live action is the fact that guys can be fairies (or witches) as well, and girls can be specialists. So then what’s the actual difference between them?

It is the way you channel magic and how you can use it as a consequence. I really liked that one episode in S2 when the Winx went over to Cloudtower and learned a bit about witch magic and how they channel negative emotions and I really wish they’d done more with it. So imo a great way to adapt this would be to have fairy magic be born out of positive emotions and witch magic out of negative emotions, without making it mean that all witches are evil.

You see, learning how to face and control the darkest parts of yourself is actually something that can make you happier and healthier as a result. Both sides have their pros and cons: fairies are generally kinder and more selfless, but constantly focusing on positive emotions can take a toll on their mental wellbeing if they’re not careful enough, and being particularly scared or angry makes their magic more unreliable in a fight. Meanwhile, witches focus on feelings that could easily turn them bitter or even evil, but a witch who is in full control of her feelings and magic becomes an unstoppable force, which only becomes stronger in the heat of the battle.

This, first of all, lays out the ground for some serious character arcs, with the Winx being made actually weaker by their doubts and fears. Secondly, it lays the ground for the introduction of specialists.

You see, with these premises, fairies are not made for battles. Fairies are guardians and healers, who are ready to risk their lives to protect other people without even being asked to, but while they are extremely powerful, in a fight they have to get creative because their powers are not truly meant to hurt. They work better in groups because things like friendship and cooperation actually strengthen them. Cooperative magic was a great plot point in the show, and remember that time Musa needed energy from her audience singing to defeat Stormy? This is what I’m talking about.

Witches, on the other hand, would be perfectly capable of fighting the villain of the week or the random monster on a rampage, but they might not actually want to do so. A witch who sets her mind on something will either succeed or die trying, but getting her to fight for you is the tricky part, because she likely won’t do it out of loyalty or just the goodness of her heart. Also witches tend to work better on their own, and what makes the Trix (and all coven of witches really) so strong is that they actually managed to develop a bond strong enough that, instead of weakening them, it actually makes them more powerful.

In this scenario, you need specialists because when you call for help you need a fairy to protect you, but you might need someone more fit for battle to take care of the monsters. As to whether specialists have some kind of magic or not, well, this is up for debate, I don’t particularly lean one way or the other.

And just like the Trix stand out for being an unconventional group of witches, the Winx can stand out by being an unconventional group of fairies who will go out of their way to fight anyway, because they can’t stand the idea of just not doing anything.

Also with this world building both Helia and Nabu would probably be fairies and boy do I like the idea. And the idea of fairies being trustworthy, kind people explains why there are so many royals in Alfea; you probably want your ruler to be fairy rather than a witch. Fairies make for beloved royals, while witches are much needed as the advisors who will stop royals from committing dumb mistakes out of the kindness of their heart. Once again, plenty of worldbuilding and conflict potential here.

So, this would be my way to go for a Winx rewrite, what do you guys think? @rainbow contact me I promise I won’t yell at you for what you did with Netflix (yes I will).

#Winx #Winx Club #Fate: schifo #My thoughts

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mallowstep · 3 years

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Just saying on the whole: I decided on Brackenpelt and Mintfur's personalities, this blogs anon's (and a bit you, no offense) literally decided to kick canon Reedwhisker to the curb, he now looks like Oakheart, and he's a sweetheart and a bit of an idiot who tries his best to protectand tell on Hawkfrost? (I've not read past TNP, so idk if he's actually like this so if he is forgive me.)

oh my god i. i can't.

okay so i have this thing that. is kind of long and convoluted to explain and also i neither want nor have to but i have this thing about repeating work. i can't do it. like i physically cannot make myself do it. if something interrupts what i am doing, and i lose what i wrote for an ask, i cannot make myself rewrite it. the thought alone is enough to make me want to cry.

so. i was. god. i can't even -- even summarizing what i wrote is very difficult for me. so i'm just going to jump in to where i was writing, maybe back up a little, because i was having fun talking about character arcs, and -- y'all can just deal.

(n.b. when i bring this up, people tend to suggest things like drafting responses to asks in software with autosave, or just saving responses to asks as drafts periodically. the answer is always, "i know that's an option, and it doesn't work for me for any number of reasons." while i appreciate the care, i'd rather save us all the time.)

(but to respond as quickly as i can to your actual ask -- i change background characters all the time, and no one has ever commented on it. secondly, while i often enjoy what anons offer me from different ideas, i'd prefer if we don't -- treat them as mine, perhaps? hm. not sure how to phrase that well and i want to move on now.)

anyway, basically, i'm rambling about decisions anons make and why i wouldn't personally make them. because i was in the middle of a thought, i'm going to have to back up a little, but -- i'm going to try to save myself some time and pain and just make one starting statement and then move on.

while i'm about to explain why i wouldn't make the following choices, that does not make them bad choices. in fact, i often enjoy responding to your asks with snippets utilizing these choices. they're just not choices i would independently make, but that doesn't make them bad. i just like to ramble about character arcs, and this gives me an excuse

reedpaw interfering with hawkpaw's dreams of the dark forest

the arc i have planned for hawkfrost revolves around no one knowing about the dark forest. it is essential to tigerstar's manipulation of him that no one knows. it is fundamental to his character arc.

so -- i can't just throw in reedpaw interfering. it would change every character's arc. and i like my arc for hawkfrost. i do not think it is benefitted by reedpaw interacting with it.

(this is kind of what i mean -- i've greatly enjoyed writing the drama that comes of reedpaw interfering, but i would never choose to have him interfere in independent content.)

reedkit being born not long after hawkkit, mothkit, and frogkit

this is the piece i'm most angry to have lost. i had -- guys i had a very good explanation of this one. it's. i will do my best because -- i don't know.

i am very -- the misty au matters to me. unlike the other aus, the misty au is mine. it is not some web of ideas, it is my au, and while i adore seeing everyone play with it, it often feels like -- handing someone a rubiks cube, watching them fiddle with it, and then, when they give it back to you, you solve it in a few moments. (i did speed cubing personal best was 27s, although i doubt i could get anywhere close to that now.)

like, you hand me this idea. mistyfoot has another kit about six moons after hawkkit, mothkit, and frogkit. i nod as you explain, am excited to see you so excited about it, but i cannot simply leave the cube unsolved. it is a compulsion of a sort. you hand me an unsolved cube, and i will solve it. i don't mean to, sometimes. it is simply that i know the patterns so well, and the process of observing and solving a cube is so instinctual, that i look for the best cross without realizing what i am doing, start to solve without meaning to.

and -- in this case, this is me solving the cube, this explanation. i have inserted this metaphor in part to explain why i feel i must try to explain this once again, why i am -- now that the chance, the idea of covering this topic has been raised, i cannot set it down.

so. although it is difficult, i want to tell you why i wouldn't choose to do this. again. there will be less couching this time, as there always is, so review my -- i don't think you're wrong, i just wouldn't make these choices -- above. i mean it.

reedkit being born changes every character's arc inherently. i've mentioned this in passing, but it fundamentally changes every single character's arc. for the main seven, it is a direct and tangible change, and for others, it is a ripple effect, and no stone is left unturned.

but i will use mistyfoot's arc as a catch-all, to explain my reason for not making this choice.

mistyfoot -- okay, if reedkit is born, mistyfoot's primary focus is no longer feathertail. i'm not one for "one child is loved more" stories. i don't like writing them. so. mistyfoot's focus is split between reedkit and feathertail.

and that is a problem. because -- feathertail is the most important thing in the world to mistyfoot. in an unhealthy way at first, but in a healthy way, later on. it is Unhealthy for mistyfoot to base her every action around how it affects feathertail; it is healthy for mistyfoot's top priority to be feathertail. codependency vs being a parent.

so. why is that a problem? well -- because it changes a lot of things, but most importantly, or at least, most close to the main time period the misty au covers, it changes how mistyfoot builds a relationship with hawk, moth, and frog.

because -- well, let's back up for a moment.

mistyfoot does not go in the nursery once. despite the fact that it is feathertail, that before and after this, they are nearly inseparable (unhealthily before, heathily after), she does not visit feathertail in the nursery a single time.

[insert a tangent about mistyfoot being in the nursery with reedkit i cannot bring myself to rewrite]

her interactions with the kits, once they are weaned, are either highly structured, or incidental moments she avoids and escapes from as fast as she can.

but -- feathertail is always there as a buffer. feathertail brings them out to mistyfoot as her kits, as a form of -- presentation, almost. or, mistyfoot and feathertail are talking, and one of the kits approaches momentarily.

because she can't do it anyway.

[insert tangent about mistyfoot being a good mother and how in this instance, that means not being around them]

and as the kits grow up, it is through feathertail that mistyfoot manages to build a relationship with them. the fact that they are feathertail's kits is how she does it. in part because -- it is a degree of separation that she is afforded. if things are too much -- she is not their mother. she can back off. but also because -- they are important to feathertail, and that makes it easier for mistyfoot to want to know them.

this is -- core to all five arcs at hand, here.

she sees hawkpaw seek out feathertail after a nightmare, and she sees a kit, who loves, who feathertail loves. she sees -- it makes it easier to forget his father, if he can simply be a child, sleeping with his mother to ward of nightmares.

hawkfrost is -- will always be the one she has the hardest time connecting to. this has little to do with his appearance (while he looks similar to tigerstar, he is not a clone -- he has more contrasting markings, a white chest, blue eyes, a narrower build, sleeker, glossier fur, and so on), and everything to do with the grief he causes feathertail as an apprentice. she worries over him, and mistyfoot doesn't know what to do.

frogheart is easier, or at least more straightforward. he bonds with mistyfoot when he's carrying feathertail down the mountain. there's -- two levels. first, he's doing a great service to the most important person to mistyfoot. second, this is a very hard time for feathertail, and mistyfoot wants to be with her for it. so -- they walk down together.

mothwing is -- she starts to be more and more responsible for feathertail's healthcare. and -- mistyfoot is. pretty much always with feathertail for that. even something as simple as marigold on a scratch, or getting a thorn pulled out -- mistyfoot is there.

it is an Anxiety Inducing Time. feathertail associates being treated with very bad things, and avoids going to the medicine den, so like -- mistyfoot has to be there to actually get her to go.

so while mothwing is learning to deal with -- a bit of a role reversal, in that she has to take care of feathertail. as a doctor, yes, but feathertail -- requires a lot of patience, cajoling, and creativity. and you know, that's hard. it is hard to see the cat who raised you like that. that's a big theme for mothwing.

but it means she starts to build a relationship with mistyfoot.

so -- why does it matter?

well, putting aside a long list of reasons that mistyfoot having reedkit then is so angst inducing (she's grieving for her first litter, she's not in a place to voluntary have another child, she's still coping with the trauma of a forced pregnancy, etc), if her focus is split between reedkit and feathertail, the weight of all of this is decreased.

not -- by half, or anything. love is not some finite resource. but mistyfoot no longer avoids the nursery, and she has many more early interactions with the kits. when feathertail leaves, she has another kit that means she can't fall apart in the same way. and -- that means that frogpaw, hawkpaw, and mothpaw's initial impression of her never changes.

when feathertail vanishes, they start to gain a deeper understanding of mistyfoot, which enables them to be able to start connecting to her.

other stuff

i'm doing this thing where i try to go to bed before 3am, so unfortunately, not right now.

oh wait i lied real quick

tawnypelt

i think this is because you haven't seen her pov yet, but a lot of asks about her tend to misunderstand her internal thought process. or at least -- they don't characterize her the way i intend to.

#ask #mine #misty au #anon #not sure how to tag this tbh #reed au #i don't know #again to be clear #anons never change #i just felt like explaining #why i make the decisions i make #and i like talking about mistyfoot

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opbackgrounds · 4 years

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I'm not sure under which catagory this will fit but can you give your opinion on the relationship between Doffy and Roci? More specifically whether or not Doffy really loved Roci; and if he did, did Roci wrong Doffy as a brother? In my mind Cora-san did nothing wrong and it's mainly Doffy's fault that they ended up where they were; but i'm curious Thank you ❤

First things first, no I don’t think Cora did anything wrong, and, no, I don’t believe Cora was right saying that Doffy was inherently evil.

Secondly, this ask made me reread Law’s flashback for the first time since it was initially released, so while things are fresh in my mind I’m hardly an expert. My friends tell me that frees me to make an unbiased analysis, but I fully admit my stance on this isn’t 100% settled. I might change my mind on somethings later on, and that’s okay.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about feelings, and how they betray us.

I find Doflamingo difficult to write about because there’s so much about him that remains ambiguous even after the conclusion of his arc. One Piece villains don’t tend to be super complicated by themselves as much as how they interact in a complicated world.

Take Crocodile. What drives his actions during the Alabasta saga are simple: He wants military might after a failed attempt at the New World. The details of his backstory and the nature of his failure are fuzzy, but the basic motivation is pretty cut and dry.

Not so for Doflamingo. There are some hints that he wants to become the Pirate King, but for a decade he’s carved for himself a comfortable role in the underworld maintaining the status quo among the Four Emperors, gaining wealth and prestige on the slave market dealing black market weapons. Maybe all he wants is to laugh while watching the world burn. Who knows, not me.

What makes analyzing Doffy and Cora difficult specifically is that Cora is a liar. Seriously, I don’t think there’s a major character in that entire flashback that he’s not dishonest with. So you get moments like this

Mixed with moments like this

Making it difficult at times to know where exactly Cora stands. I mean, if he truly believed Doflamingo was born a monster, that there wasn’t a scrap of decency in his body, would he really have hesitated to shoot, even knowing he was about to be killed?

There is a lot of ambiguity in the characters of Cora and Doffy. To paraphrase Shrek, they’re like onions, with lots of layers to dig through. At the end of the day I think there are multiple valid interpretations that stay true to the text, and unless Oda decides to go Word of God in an SBS or something it’s going to stay that way.

For what my two cents are worth, I don’t think even Cora knows how he feels about Doffy. On the one hand, he’s made it his life’s work to limit the destruction Doflamingo can wreck on the rest of the world, but on the other, he’s fighting against his blood brother. Cora I think was right when he said that he and the other executives understood Doflamingo better than anyone else in the world

Because remember, Cora was there. He saw Doffy kill their father in cold blood. He heard his brother vow revenge even as the rest of the family begged for mercy from the enraged mob who nailed them to a wall. He’s seen the rage Doflamingo is capable of and the lengths he’ll go to in order to get back at those he thinks have wronged him.

Oda has always struck an interesting balance been Nature and Nurture within the series. I’ll touch on it more when I write on the Celestial Dragons as a whole, but you can’t really look at the environment Doffy grew up in and say that he had any chance and becoming anyone else that he did.

Cora and his parents were, at best, outliers within the culture of Mariejois. You know that the family had slaves before they decided to live like normal people because as a child Doffy asks if they can buy more. You get the implication that Homing never had the strength of will to correct his son’s misbehavior, nor did he have any idea of what he was getting his family into (his idea of a “comfortable life” is a giant freaking mansion) and after his death Trebol and the rest fed Doffy’s worst traits, molding Doflamingo just as much as an adult Doflamingo molded the children left in his care

So while Doflamingo always had a strong will and a mean streak, neither did he ever have a character like Sengoku to set him on the straight and narrow. You can’t tell me that if during the Void Century the Donquiote family decided to stay and rule Dressrosa and the Nefertiti family abandoned Alabasta for Mariejois that eight hundred years later that’s not at least a chance that Vivi ends up as a super villain with a god complex while Doffy is ruling as a good, wise king.

So in wrapping this up, I think the relationship between the brothers is messy and complicated. For as much as Doflamingo spouts how much he values his blood brother during the first half of the flashback, he was pretty damn quick to assume that Cora had betrayed them after he ran off with Law (and to be fair, he was right). I think there was always a part of Doflamingo that doubted his brother, because he disappeared for eight years, and because of the supposed “weakness” Cora showed when they were children. I think there’s some truth to the statement that Doffy values the four other executives more than Cora

Putting a very twisted spin on the found family trope that One Piece puts so much emphasis on. I think Doflamingo expected Cora to betray him because he’d been betrayed by his “own kind” so many times before: By his father, and then by the Celestial Dragons as a whole, who I think people tend to forget tried to kill him when they found out he had learned their big secret

(As an aside, I love Oda’s attention to detail—the silhouette of the armor is exactly the same as what we see at Mariejois itself)

At the same time, I think Doffy was genuinely disappointed when his suspicions about Cora were correct. Doflamingo gave his brother everything, including a seat at his right hand, only for Cora to throw it back in his face. Doflamingo had planned for Cora to eat the Op-Op Fruit and give up his life to give him immortality, but Cora refused to be controlled.

And if there’s anything Doffy hates, it’s not being in control.

For his part, I think Cora told himself often enough that his brother was a monster that he mostly believed it. Whether or not it’s true or not doesn’t really matter, because Cora believed his brother was beyond saving. The fallen god had become a devil that needed to be put down for the sake of the world.

And yet he couldn’t pull the trigger.

It’s unfortunate for him that Doffy didn’t have those second thoughts.

#opbackgrounds #one piece #long post #Doflamingo #corazon #character analysis #sarc talks

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murdereraisuha · 3 years

Text

Classpecting TWST: Octavinelle

Time to assign Homestuck classpects to the fish mafia!

Spoilers for chapter 3 and some of the trio’s personal stories. No knowledge of Homestuck required to read.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Azul, the symbol for the space aspect, and the words “Azul Ashengrotto: Thief of Space”]

For Azul, I think it’s easier to narrow down what his class is first.

To get back at his childhood bullies, Azul developed his unique magic “It’s a Deal,” which lets him make contracts with others.

He uses clever loopholes and tricks to shift his contracts in his favor, letting him reap the magic and abilities of his victims.

However, despite his power and skills, he still has self-image issues.

In chapter 3, he overblots during a desperate magic stealing spree to make a more perfect him who isn’t a “stupid, clumsy octopus who can’t do anything by himself.”

What I get from this is that he steals from others, he worked hard to shape himself into a successful person, and he perceives fault in himself. Based on this, I think his class is either thief, the active theft class, or knight, the active exploitation class.

With that in mind, what exactly does he steal/exploit, and what do his insecurities relate to? Rather than concepts like luck, freedom, or the soul, Azul seems centered on concrete objects. In his childhood, he was tormented due to his physical appearance. In the present, he carefully controls his diet to maintain a slender physique. He also hoards things like coins and his contracts.

Based on these things as well as the creativity he exhibits in his elaborate schemes (exam notes, beans day, investigating Scarabia, etc.), I think that Azul’s aspect is space, the aspect of physical attributes, creation, and patience.

So, thief of space or knight of space? After research into both, I think that thief fits the best. First of all, though Azul has amazing abilities on his own, he relies a lot on maintaining a hoard of contracts. Rather than working with what he has, he constantly seeks out more: more power, more profits, more restaurant locations. Similarly to how Azul’s downfall in chapter 3 stemmed from trying to steal too much (Yuu’s house & the photo), the 2 thieves in Homestuck also get into trouble for being too overconfident. Finally, while a knight generally protects and shelters those around them, Azul isn’t afraid to do stuff such as wring Floyd out like a towel to use his eel slime for developing a beauty product. Therefore, Azul is most likely a thief of space.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Jade Leech, the symbol for the light aspect, and the words “Jade Leech: Rogue of Light”]

To figure out Jade’s aspect, let’s consider some facts about him.

His unique magic, “Shock the Heart,” forces a person who looks him in the eye to truthfully answer a question he asks them.

He dislikes predictable things, which is a reason why he loves his chaotic brother and enjoys growing unknown plants.

He prefers to stay in the shadows while Azul/Floyd takes the spotlight.

Based on these factors, Jade seems well suited to either the void aspect, the aspect of secrets, confusion, and irrelevance, or its opposite the light aspect, the aspect of truth, awareness, and importance. Now, how does he interact with his aspect?

Though Jade, Azul, and Floyd are equals, Jade still usually acts in a supportive role to them. For example, in his ceremony robes story, Jade gives the list of the new students’ private Magicam accounts to Azul for him to use instead of using the list himself. Therefore, I think that Jade probably has a passive class.

Jade does not have a deficit of light/void and he does not have a destructive relationship with light/void, ruling out page and bard. He doesn’t truly embody either aspect, ruling out heir, and he doesn’t seem to do much creating/healing of light/void, ruling out sylph. That narrows it down to seer of light, seer of void, rogue of void, and rogue of light.

Though I originally thought he was probably void and just kept the light option open just in case, Jade might actually be a rogue of light. A rogue, the passive theft class, invites theft of their aspect and through their aspect. Jade reveals knowledge (ex. contract violations & the Magicam accounts) and then leaves Azul and Floyd to do with it as they please. Also, Shock the Heart is activated using his eyes, and eyes are a symbol of the light aspect in Homestuck.

Furthermore, the rogues of Homestuck often have trouble coping with having their aspect, correlating with Jade being uncomfortable with having people’s attention on him. He also has problems with giving information/the truth about himself. For example, his exaggerated fake tears after Idia doubts his wish during the Wish Upon a Star event strengthens Idia’s belief that Jade's wish is insincere, even though Jade might have really wanted to use his wish for Azul and Floyd’s benefit. Though Jade is pretty different from the typical descriptions of rogues of light I have read, I think he probably is a rogue of light.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Floyd, the symbol for the blood aspect, and the words “Floyd Leech: Bard of Blood”]

For Floyd, I have an aspect already in mind.

Breath represents freedom and flexibility. From his general refusal to wear his uniform properly or take on responsibilities to specific events like trying to play dodgeball during basketball club, Floyd certainly exhibits freedom. His unique magic, “Bind the Heart,” references the concept of freedom/captivity in its name. By deflecting any magic aimed at him, it basically ensures his freedom from injury and other harmful effects like Riddle’s” Off with Your Head!”

Just so we’re not narrowing our focus too much though, I’d like to point out that the rage aspect is also a possibility. Rage represents negative emotions, defiance, and persistence. For Floyd, he rebels against conformity and also exhibits some stubbornness in his teasing of Riddle. Floyd’s aspect might also be the opposite of breath or rage, blood or hope, since each aspect and its opposite are just 2 sides of the same coin as we saw with Floyd’s brother.

Anyway, on to class. First off, thief and rogue are out since he doesn’t do much theft. He doesn’t hide behind any masks or act very pessimistic, so knight, page, and prince are out, and he doesn’t seem to struggle with knowledge of things, so mage and seer are out. Of the remaining classpect combos, I was thinking witch of rage, bard of rage, heir of breath, or maid of breath. However, as I just said, the aspects blood or hope might also apply. After looking into god tiers of those aspects, one stuck out at me: bard of blood.

Bard is the passive destruction class, which invites destruction of their aspect or through their aspect. Bards and princes, the active destruction class, are notable in how they exhibit traits of the opposite aspect since they destroy their own aspect in themselves. In Floyd’s case, his abundance of freedom & spontaneousness can also be seen as an absence of commitments & responsibilities.

However, a bard doesn’t destroy all traces of their aspect, which is how I can find evidence that Floyd’s aspect is actually blood rather than breath. In Homestuck, those of the breath aspect tend to be rather emotionally detached or passive. For example, John handles shocking revelations with ease and Tavros uses sleep to escape sadness. On the other hand, blood players tend to be emotionally explosive and assertive. Karkat and Kankri are well known for being rather... cranky. Now, for Floyd,

I don’t think an emotionally passive person would have a murder mode face like this. There’s also the fact that Floyd specifically hates shackles, while a breath player would probably take their freedom more for granted. Anyway, going to how being a bard would interact with Floyd’s aspect, as a bard his actions lead to destruction of bonds/responsibilities. However, a bard’s aspect is still a part of them/an inevitability even if they try to act like it isn’t.

Let’s take the one big example of anguish within Floyd that we have: his school uniform story. While Floyd is having a blast riling Riddle up and trying to bait him into a game of tag, Riddle remarks that Jade doesn’t bother with this sort of mischief and he’s completely different from Floyd even though they’re twins. This causes Floyd’s mood to take a 180 and he abruptly leaves. Even though Floyd does stuff like steal Jade’s clothes or shove work on him—things that might suggest Floyd doesn’t care about Jade—Floyd actually doesn’t want their bond with each other to break. This also holds true for Azul: though Floyd explicitly says in chapter 4 that he and Jade will leave Azul if he becomes boring, that seems like a half-truth: with Azul being the person he is, how likely is it that he would ever become boring?

Floyd is a genius, talented in everything from academic subjects to music to sports. However, as noted by some other characters, his mood swings and flippantness prevent him from being the even more terrifyingly powerful person he could become. His personal challenge may very well be to find a middle ground between running from and depending on his bonds/responsibilities. Therefore, based on Floyd’s values, attitude, and faults, I can say that he is very likely a bard of blood.

-- Final notes --

Firstly, If you actually read through all this and enjoyed it, I recommend checking out mia-pon289’s Octavinelle theories and Dahniwitchoflight’s classpect stuff since this post drew a lot of inspiration from those.

Secondly, I am going to flip my shit if Ace’s aspect turns out to be blood too once I get to analyzing Heartslabyul. Is basketball club just gonna become blood club?

Thirdly,

[Image description: A venn diagram with 2 circles. One circle is labeled “Animal with 8 legs” and contains “Vriska” in it. The other circle is labeled “Aquatic” and contains “Meenah”. The intersection between the circles contains “Azul”. The whole diagram is inside of a rectangle labeled “Thief”]

#twst #twisted wonderland #classpect #octavinelle #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #homestuck #twst analysis

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redrosesartcabin · 3 years

Text

Self indulgent series Part 2.2 (last part for now)

Life part 2

(And here’s the link to Life part 1: https://redrosesartcabin.tumblr.com/post/643294968092442624/self-indulgent-series-part-21 )

It was two months since they had been in New York City.

Y/n was recording her newest album in her favorite studio in Dublin. She had felt a little strange in the morning but had just brushed it off as being especially hungry after eating had made the strange feeling almost entirely disappear.

But as she was getting into recording the songs, she felt it come back, and this time much, much worse. It converted into illness.

And in the middle of the sentence, she just couldn’t do it anymore; she ran.

“Mrs.Kon”, the producer, Mrs.Long yelled, “where the fuck are you going? You can’t just-“, but she stopped herself as she heard the singer throw up in the toilet.

“Dear god”, she uttered, getting up from her seat as did the other musicians. They had already noticed something had been wrong with Red Rose. She was usually very much into her songs and nothing could break her from that, so her just running out was very concerning.

“Mrs.Kon. Are you ok?”, the producer asked carefully, standing before the stall. She felt bad for having cussed out the singer so quickly.

“Yeah, I’m fine”, y/n answered, slowly getting out of the cabin, “I must have caught some bad bug or something. I should better go… I don’t want to, but I really don’t want to spread whatever I have either”

“That’s probably a good idea. Let’s meet next week then. We’ll talk about when over the phone, I still need to check the schedule”

“Ok. Thank you so much!”

“No problem. Get well soon!”

That however didn’t happen. Over the next few days y/n continued throwing up in the morning. She also had to go to the toilet much more often, had terrible headaches in the evening and slight back pains. And on top of that she noticed her period had skipped.

Eventually she decided to google the symptoms… and it all lead to one thing. (Not cancer luckily like google usually did!) The first article that popped up was-

“Pregnant?!”, she yelled out to herself.

Could it be?

But after thinking it over there was just no other explanation for the collective of strangely specific symptoms.

Immediately, she got up, went to the pharmacy and bought three different pregnancy tests.

“I want to be sure. This wasn’t planned you know?”, she told the pharmacist who looked a little surprised.

“I hope it wasn’t just a fling”, the pharmacist answered.

“Oh god no! I’ve been together with my husband for eight years and we’ve been married for two and a half. I’m good on that front. We’re however very busy people and-“

“It’ll be fine”, the pharmacist reassured her, “you’ll see. A pregnancy won’t stop you from too many plans I’m sure”

“Yeah… thanks”, y/n smiled back nervously.

“No problem. And good luck!”

With wide eyes she looked at the three positive tests.

“Christ… I actually… wow”

She loved Kenji and he loved her, but it wasn’t the best timing.

“So what though?!”, she yelled at herself, “then I’ll drive to his set and we’ll talk. But what if he’s disappointed? What if he thinks it’s inconvenient? What if he’ll get so scared- NO, don’t even go there, y/n, how dare you?”, but still she felt nervous.

She almost felt like throwing up again but decided she didn’t vibe with that.

“I have to be strong”, she whispered to herself.

So, she packed her things and drove off.

“Mr.Kon, your wife is here”, one of the staff members told Kenji as he got ready for the next scene.

“Oh ok”, he answered clearly surprised. He was happy to see her, because of course he’d always be happy to have her near him, yet at the same time he was annoyed she didn’t talk to him about it. He had a tight schedule, and he wouldn’t be able to tend to her as much as he’d like to and as much as she’d deserve, “send her in please”

“I will sir”, the staff member answered and only a couple of seconds later she entered. She was beautiful and radiant as always, yet something about her felt a little off.

“Hello, my darling”, he greeted her and gave her a passionate kiss she only returned shyly “, what are you doing here?”, he asked a little too annoyed. He hadn’t meant to sound like that, but her strange return of affection rubbed him the wrong way together with the fact she hadn’t talked to him about coming.

“Can’t I come surprise visit you without going completely off the rails?!”, she asked unusually aggressive.

“I mean sure; But first of all, I didn’t go off the rails and secondly: the way you act you barely seem like you actually want to”

“Which is partly true”, she answered. For a moment a moment of shocked silence passed before he took a deep breath and asked, very passively aggressive.

“Now, what is that suppose to mean?”, but before she could answer he was called for the scene.

“We’ll talk about this later”, he answered, glaring at her, which she returned with an equally angry stare. Of course, in actuality, they were both pretty hurt by this short yet very heated conversation. He was hurt because she seemed to be angry at him for something and was only here to announce that and she was hurt because she hadn’t meant to be like that.

At first, she pretended she was mad at him and sat down on the stool he had sat on to get ready, almost fuming.

How dare he be annoyed she was here without announcing her presence! But the more she thought about it, the more she recognized she had messed up. She had converted her nervousness and fear into pure ratchetness to appear right in the situation. And the more that became clear, the more she felt tears build up. Her emotions were all over these days. She was an emotional person under normal circumstances, but with her condition it was even worse. When she had seen him after two weeks of not seeing him in person, she had wanted nothing kiss him and spend hours hanging around and whispering sweet nothings. And at the same time, she almost fainted with how nervous she was about this whole thing.

“Gosh I’m a mess”, she whispered and couldn’t hold back the tears.

Two hours later, Kenji had finished with the scene.

He stretched himself, cracking his neck and shoulders and putting on a serious expression.

He was ready to face whatever she was mad about, even if it hurt him, even if it wasn’t true.

Opening the door with a bit too much force, he felt how worked up he was. But as he saw his wife bawling her eyes out on the couch in the right corner of the room, his facade he had built up to prepare for an argument dropped.

He was confused and concerned. She wasn’t angry? What was wrong? Yet he also asked himself what had her in such distress.

He however didn’t dare to touch her yet.

“Darling?”, he asked softly instead, his right hand hovering over her.

She turned around in a quick motion and threw herself in his arms.

“I’m so so so so so sorry”, she whispered, “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have been like that”

“Hey, hey”, he answered, wrapping his arms around her protectively, “It’s ok. Just tell me what I did wrong”,

“That’s the thing: You did nothing wrong.”

“Then why were you so angry at me?”, he asked, genuinely confused

“I’m not angry at you: I’m scared”, she explained, barely able to say it.

“Why? Have you done something wrong?”, he asked

“No… or well a little maybe… I don’t know. It depends”

“Depends?”

“On if you will be ok with it”

“With what? For Christ’s sake y/n, talk to me” he said, frustrated at the guessing game.

She stepped back, looking at him and wearing a sad smile.

She opened her mouth slightly, but not a word came over her lips. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and finally she spoke, “I’m pregnant, Kenji”

Deafening silence filled the room. Kenjis mouth and eyes were wide open in shock and surprise and for a while, he himself felt he was at a loss for words or even thought as he heard his heart hammer in his chest.

“By me, right?”, he asked after a couple of minutes.

“Yes, by you! Geez … You seriously chose that as your answer?”, she retorted, disappointed at the reaction.

“Of course: Why else would you think I’d be angry at you for being god damn pregnant?”, he asked his voice loud and unusually squeaky

“I was scared you’d maybe find it inconvenient and-“

“Y/n! I told you a thousand times not too overthink too much!”, he scolded her, but with a smile that indicated it was meant in a fun and good-hearted spirit, “I love you. You are my everything. You and especially not a life we created together could ever be an inconvenience. I love you and even if we were still too young, or too poor or at war, I’d be happy.”

She started crying again, but this time of happiness.

“Gosh I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have doubted you again… I should really stop overthinking. I love you so much”, she answered and gave him a salty kiss he still gladly accepted.

After a couple of months (after the mark where it was sure the baby would live and a miscarriage was unlikely), Kenji and y/n announced the pregnancy publicly which was received with a lot of well wishes and happiness by the fans as well as the family.

Plus, Kenji announced he’d take a break from participating in acting roles for the last three months of Red Roses pregnancy as well as the first six months of the baby’s life.

‘I want to be there for my wife in the hardest times of the pregnancy and the beginning of our childs life to help her and me adjust to the life of a parent as well as bonding as a father’ which was also very much supported by most, though some thought it was stupid since income was needed with the expenses that came with having a child. Kenji however assured those that Red Rose, and him, had earned more than enough to live comfortably even with him not being active or as active as an actor for a little less than a year.

“So, you didn’t have the stomach flu back then?”, Mrs. Long had asked, amused as Red Rose had returned for the last recording session before the would go into maternity leave.

“Nope. Definitely not that”, y/n laughed as she carefully petted her now slightly, yet clearly rounded belly

Six months in, it was figured out they would be having a daughter. Kenji Kon and Red Rose however decided not to reveal the name until she was born.

“That’s bad luck where I’m from!”, Red had explained to her fans.

After that doctors visit Kenji had come home permanently for the time being. He had officially gone into “parenting vacations”, so to speak.

Y/n was happy he was going to be home for so long. She respected his work a lot and was fine with being alone for long periods of time, she had become tired of it real quick though as she advanced in her pregnancy with their daughter. Partly because moving around and about became more exhausting the more her belly grew, and she just felt she needed his support… but mostly because she was extremely hormonal. She missed him a lot more than usual…

It was a picturesque morning as y/n woke up by little kicks inside of her stomach.

‘She always does this’ she thought a little annoyed yet endeared. She loved feeling her daughter like that. It assured her again and again that she was alive and healthy.

“Good morning little one”, she whispered, knowing it was early and Kenji probably wasn’t awake yet, he was a long sleeper…

Kenji…. Kenji… thinking about him made her feel all giddy inside. She carefully turned around to face him (she found she was more faced away from him these days since she was very conscious of her belly not getting in the way of him being able to move around. He was a very active mover in his sleep, just like his unborn daughter).

He looked so peaceful as he gently breathed through his strong looking yet pointy nose. His hair looked perfect, as always. Only a couple of strands hung loosely from the top and low onto his forehand, which she honestly loved, because it made him look so… himself. He wasn’t all charming, not all dolled up and prepared to look perfect every second of the day. He was himself. Kenji and nobody else. Just like he was with her, but maybe even more relaxed. His lips were slightly open, though he wasn’t drooling this time. She had to hold back a giggle as she remembered several times where he woke up embarrassed and in denial.

“That’s just a humidity spot from the sweat we produce whilst sleeping” he had said with a childish pout and she had simply laughed.

She didn’t care, she loved him all the more for his faults even though he tried to deny them oftentimes.

Gosh… she loved him so much it almost hurt.

“Good morning, love”, Kenji heard his wife’s sweet voice as he slowly awoke.

“Good morning?”, he asked, his voice still a bit groggy. As he opened his eyes, his gaze immediately fell upon his wife.

She stood there, her blond hair shining y/h.c in late morning sunlight. Her pregnant form was in a comfortable looking, but still form hugging black dress, her lips were painted red and her eyes were framed in her iconic winged eyeliner.

She looked stunning.

Merit came forward slowly and put a tray that had some pancakes stacked on it, some orange juice and a cup of coffee on his lab.

“I woke up early and thought why not make you a nice bed-breakfast for my wonderful husband?”, she explained even though he didn’t ask, though he also couldn’t deny that he hadn’t wondered about that. He smiled in gratitude.

“Thank you, beautiful, I appreciate it”, he said, giving her a quick, but passionate kiss before digging in.

“I’ll go shopping-“, she started, but was immediately interrupted by a coughing Kenji, who in is hurry to stop her from going almost choked on the piece of pancake he had been chewing.

“No wait! I’ll go after breakfast. You’ve already been so kind to make this for me, you should really take it slow”

She giggled at that.

“I’m not that fragile darling. I’ve been shopping on my own last week when you were still at the shooting too.”

“All the more reason I should help you out now!”, he exclaimed. She swooned how adorable he was acting.

“Thank you darling”

“Anything for you”

“I’ll go sit in the garden for a bit then”, she said, trying to hide her blush. This had been one of these cheesy conversations that just made her head spin.

What a life.

(Warning: It’s getting a bit less Pg here, but I still wanted to keep this scene)

“WHY THE HECK DID I EVER ALLOW A D*CK TO ENTER ME!”, y/n screamed.

Labor was painful.

This was worse than anything she had ever felt.

It was the 16th of November 2028.

A week after what the doctors would predict was the birth, so pretty on time. Everything also seemed to go very well.

But still birthing was so painful.

She hated being alive right now.

She hated being a woman, which she honestly never had: Her periods were very kind to her, and she had never been disadvantaged in her life because of that… except right now.

And oh she LOATHED having been seduced by this mother*cker: Her husband.

That beautiful, charming man.

The devil himself in his holy form, impregnated her to make her suffer.

“I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN I SWEAR”, she screamed.

One of the nurses couldn’t hold back a snicker and thought, and luckily could refrain from saying out loud ‘that’s what they all say. And in two years they’re back with a new baby’

And of course, the nurse was right. And of course, y/n knew deep down she’d forget the pain later and have sex three weeks later, if not earlier.

Though not right now. Oh no, right now she’ll scream and blame him for her pain whilst crushing his hand.

The doctors had explained Kenji beforehand that y/n will be quite distressed, so he had been mentally prepared to be cussed out.

Though wow did he feel bad right now. And not because of the fact he thought his fingers would break any second.

Twelve hours later it was finally done: Their daughter was born.

Their red headed flame of joy: Tove Kon.

And as expected: When y/n got to lay her eyes on her, she immediately forgot the pain, because whatever she had just gone through brought this little angel to earth. An angel she had made with the man she had loved for over twelve years.

And Kenji… oh Kenji fell in love with a second girl. This, he said to himself, is the second love of his life. He’d do anything for her. He’d be there as much as she could. He wouldn’t become like his father.

“Are you ok love?”, y/n asked him concerned as he was laying, next to her, caressing their daughters little head. At first, he was surprised at that question but then noticed tears running down his cheeks.

“I just… I love her so much, but I’m afraid I’ll become like my father and I don’t want to. I want to love her and give all I can of myself”

Y/N smiled brightly at that. This man truly was so full of devotion and kindness.

“You won’t become him. You couldn’t: Because you love us too much. And that kind of love can’t be broken. You are you, not him. And if you even so much as stray a centimeter away I’ll make sure you stay, ok? I’ll take care of us and I know you will too”

“Thank you. I love you”

“As I love you”

(I’m so sorry, this stuff is so cheesy xD But I hope you liked it anyways. I really wanted to share this with you, just because I know that I’m pretty much the only one who writes Kenji x reader stuff and I spent so much time on this.

Also: If you are interested in the unedited, less Pg version, lemme know. Also don’t worry: They are either both underage or both adults in these scenes, so nothing to worry about)

#kenji camp cretaceous #kenji #kenji kon #kenji x reader #kenji kon x reader #jw cc #jurassic world camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous fanfiction #self indulgent #self indulgent af

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invisibleinorange · 3 years

Text

Bridgerton’s Adrift | 17/?

Chapters: 17/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties), Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington, Benedict Bridgerton, Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton, Genevieve Delacroix Additional Tags: Bridgerton, Polin Summary: Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes".

If you were distressed at the prospect of Benedict Bridgerton being removed from eligibility, this writer is here to inform you that you have not missed your opportunity.

The wedding to one Miss Featherington came to a shocking halt when the third eldest Bridgerton showed up. While one expects family for these special moments, one hardly expects them to return from the grave.

It has been reported that the returned Bridgerton only had eyes for his brother’s to-be bride.

While this writer cannot dare claim to know all, it would seem that the wedding has been called off as the day following the scheduled nuptials the groom departed for the countryside alone.

If that was not enough of a scandal, we’re hearing reports of a shockingly large floral order delivered to the Bridgerton home…

LADY WHISTLEDOWN'S SOCIETY PAPERS, 20 OCTOBER 1813

Ever since the wrath of Violet Bridgerton had come down on Colin (and her), Penelope had tried to stay on the straight and narrow. As much as she might have wanted to steal a little more time with Colin, she didn’t want to risk being kicked out.

As much as she didn’t want to return home, she didn’t know if she’d be welcome. If she returned back to her mother’s home, she would have had to have explained everything and it was complicated at best.

The easiest way to verbalize what was going on was through Lady Whistledown. She’d gotten half of it complete before she knew she needed to show her face to the family.

She was surprised as she entered the drawing room and found herself in a sea of flowers. There were so many flowers it was almost an embarrassment of riches.

“You’re going to have to keep your courtship short unless you want to break the bank of Bridgerton,” Anthony teased from the corner at the sight of her.

“I didn’t expect him to buy out the shop,” Penelope said admiring the flowers that were meant for her.

It was as if Colin knew precisely where she was going to be and when she was going to be there because he wasn’t far behind, smirking from the door frame.

“I have time to make up for,” he informed her simply. “And if I can’t do that in other ways, the flowers will have to be adequate.”

“He will be sticking to the flowers for now,” Violet said from where she was working on her needlework. “He has younger siblings to set an example for.”

Penelope nodded knowing that to be true. She knew that Violet was a loving and progressive mother but even she had to have her limitations on things. A lot of men in the world would take what they wanted with little thought to what comes next.

There was little question of where they were going with this though. She didn’t want to put a timeframe on it or force Colin into any corners. She couldn’t see a future where they weren’t married and enjoying their honeymoon by spring.

She maneuvered to an empty sofa taking a seat where she knew there was enough space for Colin to join her, smiling when he did. If they had to behave, they could at least hold hands. Her smaller hand found his, lacing their fingers.

“You’re more than adequate,” she told him with a small smile.

Eloise made a face from where she was sitting nearby. She clearly wasn’t enjoying the display all that much.

“I love you both but please kill me if I ever start to like you,” she murmured, acting as if the whole falling in love was beneath her.

“I’d be happy to kill you,” Colin said though Penelope swatted at him in such a way that made it clear that wasn’t the correct way to respond.

“What he meant to say is we won’t do such a thing,” Penelope told her friend with a smile. “I personally appreciate you not being weird about this.”

“That would require she was ever not weird to begin with,” Anthony couldn’t help but remark from where he was sitting.

Eloise glared at Anthony for a fraction of a second before nodding.

“I’m happy if you’re happy,” she said opting to not bite back at Anthony. “It doesn’t matter which of my idiot brothers you end up marry, I’ll still get another sister out of the deal. I was kind of looking forward to you marrying Benedict though since I’d have an excuse to tag along on the honeymoon so you weren’t bored senseless.”

“Eloise,” Violet said as if to say that maybe it wasn’t polite to discuss the almost marriage.

It was still a little bit too fresh and the fact that Benedict wasn’t there made it a little weirder. Colin couldn’t help but feel a little spike of jealousy at the thought of it and Penelope still felt a touch guilty.

“Well I’m sorry to disappoint you when I say that when I do propose to Penelope and we eventually partake of a honeymoon, your services won’t be needed,” Colin said after a long moment. It wasn’t an if but a when.

“Clearly since you couldn’t even properly wait for one,” Eloise retorted.

The only reason he wasn’t demanding a special license to marry her now was because he wanted to respect Penelope’s wishes. He’d wait as long as she required but he was admittedly impatient for all that commitment would entail. He rolled his eyes at his sister.

“Eloise,” Violet said more persistently, demanding an end to the squabble at once.

It was Penelope who gave Colin a reassuring squeeze to his hand in an effort to keep him from firing back. She let go of it, climbing to her feet gaze moving toward her best friend. Clearly there were a few things that she needed to set straight before the squabble became something bigger.

“Eloise, why don’t we go for a promenade?” she suggested. Eloise was normally the one who pulled her away or dragged her where she wanted her to go but this time it was Penelope who grabbed her arm and practically dragged her from the drawing room.

Colin’s eyes followed them for a second before he gazed to his mother who had focused back on her needlework and then to Anthony.

“Should I be concerned?” he asked after a long moment.

“No,” Anthony told him with a laugh. “I think your Lady is about to put our little sister in her place and it’s about time. I doubt there will blood. They tend to handle things in a far more civilized manner than us men.”

“God, I hope so,” Colin said with a chuckle.

Eloise was used to being the bossy one. She’d always had a strong personality and there were times when she didn’t quite realize that what she was saying or doing might not be in line with what those closest to her wanted.

There were certainly moments through the years where she’d overlooked things, just like she’d overlooked Penelope’s crush on Colin until they’d thought Colin was dead.

She liked to think that she knew her best friend well enough to make speak freely. She wouldn’t dream of judging Penelope for anything. If there was something to blame someone on, it was always going to be the other party. In this case, it was Colin.

Penelope had heard enough though and while she didn’t particularly care to get into in front of Violet or anyone else in the household she could no longer hold back her tongue.

“I need you to stop,” Penelope said after a long minute as if she’d been trying to figure out the right words to express how she felt.

“Stop walking?” Eloise asked, clearly not even aware that she’d managed to say anything that could offend or upset her best friend.

“No, I mean blaming Colin,” Penelope told her.

“You’re a Lady and he took advantage of you,” Eloise said simply. “You were overwhelmed by his return and he –“

Penelope cut her off there. She wasn’t going to stand for it.

“I was in complete control of the situation,” Penelope told her. “He never once did anything that I didn’t actively encourage.”

“But he’s –“

“No, just listen to me,” Penelope persisted. “You won’t understand but I want you to - your mother and Daphne fully explained the things that go on behind closed doors once one is married – well, more Daph than your mother but bless her - she tried. I didn’t quite understand until Colin kissed me but I wanted him to keep kissing me.”

“You really don’t have to –“ Eloise managed not sure she needed to know the gory details of the affair.

“Colin was a gentleman,” she insisted. “I mean, if he’d wanted to ravage me, he easily could have but when I said stop, he did. He doesn’t deserve all the blame in this. You’re very special to me but I don’t need you to protect me from him or this.”

“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Eloise said after a long moment. “I don’t think he would ever intentionally hurt you but what if you don’t stop him next time or can’t? – Or what if he decides to travel again and leave you behind? – I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

“First off, your mother would kill us and it would be a mute point,” Penelope said honestly. She reached for her Eloise’s hands, giving them a squeeze. “Secondly, you’re always going to be my best friend.”

Eloise nodded at that, accepting that answer.

There was a long pause and a turn to continue their stroll.

“Then you won’t be upset with me if I leave you to navigate this alone for a few weeks?” Eloise asked after a long moment.

“Why?” Penelope asked curiously.

“You clearly don’t need me right now but Benedict does,” Eloise said honestly.

Concern flooded Penelope’s features at mention of Benedict needing help. She hadn’t honestly let herself think of what he might be out there doing, mostly because she didn’t want to be in a constant state of guilt. The rational part of her knew it was ludicrous since Benedict had only proposed, promised to take care of her because of Colin but when she put herself into his shoes, she didn’t know if she’d have liked being dropped.

“Is something wrong with him?” she asked.

“No,” Eloise said after a moment, trying to stop whatever guilt Penelope might be feeling. She didn’t see a need for it. “He’s going to be fine. He’s just in a mood.”

“I wish he would have talked to me before he ran off,” Penelope said after a long moment. She would have liked to have thanked him for looking after her. Maybe they weren’t going to be married but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to be his friend. “Tell him to not stay away for too long.”

“The male ego is fragile,” Eloise said with a shrug. “I’ll do the best that I can – Just don’t be pregnant when I come back.”

#bridgerton #⚜ writings — polin #polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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Hey had a question about the latest chapter where he tian is kissing the phone do you think he was just doing that to be funny or was he being genuine and another thing when he tian asked mo if there is something he would like to ask him do you think he wanted him to ask a serious question or was he just joking and by question I mean ask him his feelings tords him

Hello!

Both of your asks had some similar topics, so I decided to put them together. I hope you won’t mind. I picked up two main things in your asks: distance (knowing more about each other) and HT being or not being serious and I have touched upon those topics a couple of times before:

HT’s words in ch. 297 and Tianshan’s development

Distance in Tianshan

Will there ever be a Tianshan confession?

My Tianshan “timeline”

I will probably repeat some things. Also, it should be mentioned that the translations of ch. 323 for this answer are the courtesy of @hm-translation-groupThank you for your speedy work!

“he tian is kissing the phone do you think he was just doing that to be funny or was he being genuine”

Before we get to the new chapter, I would like to take a second to talk about this side of HT in general. I think it’s difficult to tell when HT is being serious and when he’s just trying to mess with MGS when he’s like that. I wouldn’t say the new chapter was the first time (ch. 202, 263, 290, 297, 305):

Some of those instances were perhaps more obvious cases of him teasing MGS but I think all of those times had some “fuzziness” about them. I doubt HT’s leg was really cramping but did he want to just get on top of MGS or was he actually enjoying a little moment of physical contact? Is he actually scared of the dark or was he just joking in his usual “I don’t really care” way? When he wanted to share a bed with MGS how did he picture them ending up? I’m not saying he would have forced MGS to do anything but how different the situation would have been from how it actually went down? To us readers, HT asking MGS to not abandon him sounded like it came from somewhere deep but how did those words come across to MGS? Did he take them seriously? Sadly, we didn’t see his reaction to HT’s confession of sorts. Or when HT gave MGS the studs he seemingly jokingly asked MGS to marry him but how much of that was also about him asking MGS not to leave him? Accept him and not give up on him? Especially with a soft facial expression like that?

This kind of ambiguity I think is rather typical to HT. Despite his pushiness and confidence, it’s not easy for him to be open about his true feelings. It’s clear he’s interested in MGS - I don’t think that’s unclear even to MGS anymore - but instead of saying his feelings out loud, he tends to tease, bully, and flirt. Of course, that’s a part of his character in general, but I think hiding behind jokes and pushiness makes it easier for him to express his feelings for MGS. Both the teasing and MGS’s angry-flustered reactions allow HT to hide his serious, vulnerable feelings.

I think HT’s kisses in the new chapter fit in this behavior (ch. 323):

You asked if I think he was just trying to be funny (and to rile up MGS) or was he being genuine, and I would say it was both. Again, fuzziness and ambiguity. His facial expression suggests to me that the affection was real; relaxed face, no devil smirks or horns. But at the same time, the way went about it - sneakily asking MGS to move closer and joking about how MGS cares so much about him - gives the chus the usual pushiness and teasing tone.

“do you think he wanted him to ask a serious question or was he just joking and by question I mean ask him his feelings tords him” // “Do you think he's trying to level the playing field/make Mo feel less exposed by offeing to divulge his own dark secrets, or just being soppy and testing the waters for Mo's interest in him?”

In my head, I see these questions under one umbrella term: distance. Tianshan has worked on both physical and emotional distance, and both of them have been linked to the growing trust between them. Both HT and MGS are quite guarded characters, and they both protect their physical and emotional perimeters in different ways.

HT has always been touchy about MGS bring up HT’s family or what kind of a world HT comes from (ch. 170, 274, 287):

In the beginning, HT was at his most guarded about himself in general. He was a strange mix of being lonely but also keeping people at a distance and isolating himself. It seems his family’s connections to some potentially shady things wasn’t that big of a secret, but HT didn’t want it to be brought up and he most certainly didn’t want anyone walking in on him interacting with that shady world.

There has been a lot of development since then, but in general, HT has always wanted MGS to see him as himself - not as a part of the world he has grown up in. He doesn’t want MGS to think of him as one of those people because he is not one of them. He’s working very hard not to be something else but he is also ashamed of being a part of that world of cheating, lying, and oppressing others.

That being said, HT has kind of let MGS discover things on his own. MGS knows HC is his brother, where his family lives, and what kind of people are around there. It seems MGS has always known HT is connected to shady and dangerous people, but a lot of that has also been based on rumors and assumptions. Now, he has seen some of the things by himself.

However, I think this was the first time HT offered to answer MGS’s questions on his own (ch. 323):

HT has given some details about his life in passing (for example, that he went to the aquarium as a kid) but I think this was the first time he’s offered to answer any question and basically given MGS a pass to ask whatever. He’s taking it even further by almost asking the questions himself by prompting a question about his past.

First of all, I think HT was being serious. I don’t think he would have offered if he wasn’t fully prepared to at least hear MGS’s questions. There might have been some things he wasn’t ready to talk about (his mother? his nightmares?) but MGS was allowed to ask.

Secondly, I think it was because he had pushed MGS to reveal something deep and vulnerable about himself, and HT wanted them to be on equal grounds. HT has worked hard to gain MGS’s trust, and this feels like him both “rewarding” MGS for opening up and also showing that he trusts MGS as well. HT offering to tell things about himself also most probably has to do with making them closer in general by making MGS know him better.

Personally, I don’t think HT expected MGS to ask about HT’s feelings towards him. I don’t think MGS would have asked about that either. That is just not the kind of conversation I could picture them having. At least brought up by MGS.

“Do you think Mo will ask or just hang up next chptr? Ask him at school next day? And what is Mo most curious about - He Tian's family, their jobs, if Tian's done something bad? Ex-Girls? THE SHARKS?!”

I’m doubtful that MGS will actually ask about anything. I think there are things he’s curious about HT (how come they’re so rich? aren’t there really bombs at his brother’s place? who’s the pale giant and would he let MGS ride on the bike? has HT seen real fights? HOW BIG ARE THE SHARKS AND CAN HE FEED THEM?!) but him asking would imply he is actually interested. And god forbid, that ever happens! Overall, I could see MGS ask about somewhat immature things, not to prompt a heart-to-heart about relationships and feelings.

That being said, though, I think if something “deeper” than that came up, MGS would let HT talk. He could be quiet, seemingly reluctant to listen, and even grumble about it but I think he would at least let HT talk. He would probably even listen to him. Perhaps even offer a comment or two, especially if HT said something that rubbed MGS the wrong way. Like, imagine HT implying that he feels guilty and MGS - in his usual frank way - tells him that he’s a fucking idiot for thinking like that and if he’s going to waste MGS’s time spewing nonsense, MGS might as well go do something else.

I have to admit I was a bit taken aback by HT suddenly volunteering to answer MGS’s questions like that. It felt a bit weird 180 on his part but given that MGS had told him his deepest and darkest secret, I suppose it makes sense. After the initial reaction, I have started to get quite excited about this because MGS learning more about HT’s vulnerable side is one of my favorite things in their development. I don’t know if MGS will ask anything but at least the “issue” of HT opening up has been brought up.

Thank you for your questions!

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #answered ask

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heroineimages · 3 years

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Tagged by @theoutcastrogue. (Her post)

Rules: It’s time to love yourself. Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Thanks so much, sweet rogue, for tagging me! Firstly, this is exactly the kind of thing my therapist tells me I need to do for myself more often. Secondly, I tend to fixate on reading back over my past writing, so this gives me an excuse to do just that. Under the cut because there’ll be several writing excerpts and it might run long. Tagging @chenria, @9musesandanoldmind, @queer-trans-amazon, @jeanjauthor, and anyone else who wants in!

1. I did a lot of tinkering on Hero Forge after they released the colors and new engine. Firstly, I found it therapeutic and helpful for my anxiety. Secondly, I have a tendency to create stories for the new OCs I come up with. In particular, I like coming up with themed versions of the twelve base D&D classes. My favorite so far is the Desert Elf minis and their story.

2. My second favorite Hero Forge buildup was the Muskets and Snow designs, pitting Frost Elf tribes against musket-armed, multiracial commonwealth soldiers, once again based around the D&D classes. (Check my Hero Forge tag for more mini designs!)

3. I added four chapters to my Legend of Korra gladiator AU last year, and commissioned a movie poster for it from my amazing artist friend, Telenia Albuquerque. I added a few fighting scenes and several explicit lesbian bedroom scenes that I’m kind of proud of, including a fun, racy striptease. In the following scene, Asami breaks up a meeting between Varrick and none other than Marc Antony after Varrick attempts to abduct her and poison her bodyguards, including Korra:

“You said our host tried to abduct you?” [Antony] continued, turning to Asami.

“Of course not!” Varrick interrupted, stepping between Asami and Antony. “We’re pals, right, Antony? You know I’d never abduct anybody!”

“Mm, I seem to recall you abducting Titus Atticus’s wife, as well as the late Clodius Pulcher’s favorite catamite,” Antony replied.

“Allegedly!” Varrick protested, turning away and crossing his arms. “I allegedly abducted Atticus’s wife and Pulcher’s catamite!”

“Everything you do is ‘allegedly,’” Asami glared.

“So you’ve had dealings with this bastard before,” Antony laughed. “Please, come in,” he invited, gesturing to Varrick’s office. “No doubt we can handle this like civilized people, miss…?”

“Asami Sato,” Asami answered, allowing Antony to take and kiss her hand.

“Ah! Master Hiroshi’s daughter,” he identified her. “I’ve heard about you, and I’m delighted to make your acquaintance.”

“I’m sure,” Asami agreed with a hint of smooth annoyance.

“Great, thanks a lot, Zhu Li,” Varrick grumbled as the six of them trooped into his office. “What the heck happened, anyway?”

“It would seem you underestimated Mistress Sato, sir,” Zhu Li informed him, [still tossed over the gladiatrix’s shoulder]. The armored pauldron pressed into her gut was really uncomfortable. “She already had her guards inoculated against our poison.”

“What? How could you possibly know that?” Varrick demanded, turning to Asami.

“I’m more intelligent than you thought, and you’re less clever than you’d like to believe,” Asami answered, taking one of the three chairs in the room. “And, frankly, that old Persian trick of poisoning the dancing girls’ lips isn’t as cunning as you thought. It was all a matter of knowing what poisons you have access to and researching which ones work on contact and can have resistances built up for them.”

“Smart,” Antony agreed, taking the second chair while Acainissa stuffed Varrick in the chair behind his desk. Hebasken and Acainissa took up positions on either side of Varrick’s chair, looming over him.

“Varrick, this other door leads to your bedchambers, doesn’t it?” Asami asked, pointing to the curtained doorway.

“Yeah, why?” Varrick frowned. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Korra, are you up for a bit of… revenge-sex?” Asami asked.

“I’m always up for revenge and sex,” Korra assured her.

“Take Zhu Li into Varrick’s chambers and fuck her stupid, please.” Asami instructed. “She’s a very intelligent woman, so I suspect that will take a lot of fucking to accomplish.”

Korra laughed and turned to pack Zhu Li through the door.

4. I’ve also made some progress on an older story I started a long time ago about my OC Elindra, a Drow paladin of the Red Knight who gets turned to a Drider by fanatics of Lolth. The following scene comes during the big escape from Ched Nasad between her and her dwarf cleric friend, Nell:

I used the glaive to parry the [Drider] warrior’s first assault. The snarly bastard was skilled, blocking and parrying my every attack, despite my Haste spell. And even if I did land a hit, my odds of breaking his Stoneskin were frustratingly small. I gave way instead, using my quickened speed to my advantage. An arrow flashed past us, announcing the return of the annoying ranger from earlier. I grimaced from frustration as another arrow shattered against my Mithral spaulder.

This was taking too damned long. No doubt the alarm had been raised and more guards and spell-casters were on their way.

Dueling with the warrior, I deliberately backed myself toward another aperture in the webs. I parried the warrior’s mace, managing to rap him across the face with the butt of my glaive. As he lunged again, I dropped my glaive and caught his arm. From there I leapt backward, pulling him though the gap with me. He caught the edge of the webs with two clawed legs, flipping us through upside-down. Still clutching his arm, my weight yanked him through the gap behind me.

A slightly larger Drider, I flipped myself onto his back, riding him downward as we plummeted. Gripping him by the hair, I screamed, “Smite Evil!” as we hit, slamming his head into the hardened webbing below.

The impact threw me from the warrior’s back, and I skidded onto my side perhaps twelve feet away. The warrior’s head was obliterated—a black, bloody smear across the calcified web floor.

“You alright?” I asked Nell as I picked myself up.

“Ye’re focking crazy, ye know that, Elindra?” Nell grumbled behind me, [still harnessed to my back]. “Ooh, that’s a pretty mess!” she laughed when I turned to look for a way back up. “Aye, let’s see ye Stoneskin protect ye from that shite, motherfocker!” she taunted the dead Drider.

5. And, lastly I’m happy with a lot of the progress I’ve made on my novel, First Empress. The following excerpt is a cute, racy little flashback scene of Elissa and Queen Viarra’s first time having sex:

“O–oh, gods!” Elissa groaned, catching her breath as she came down from her third climax.

Princess Viarra gripped the blanket on either side of Elissa’s shoulders, grunting as she thrust against Elissa’s leg to ride out her own climax. Broad, muscular arms trembling, her thrusts continued to get slower and more deliberate as she finished herself off. Her highness’s entire body shook one last time, and she gave a panting laugh before collapsing halfway atop Elissa.

They lay laughing and gasping for breath for long moments, their legs tangled together, their right breasts squashed against the other’s sternum. Princess Viarra’s arms splayed off to the sides while Elissa’s trembling arms clutched her love’s shoulders. Their shoulders were about even, but Viarra’s cunny now rested against Elissa’s knee. Their clothes lay discarded to one side with the wine they’d stolen from King Vaso and the erotic poetry they’d stolen from Prince Kallis. Above them, the peach trees of King Vaso’s orchard swayed in the afternoon breeze.

“I’m not squishing you, am I?” Viarra asked, her face still half-pressed against the tangle of brown and copper hair next to Elissa’s right ear.

“No,” Elissa laughed, wishing she had the energy to clutch her beloved princess tighter. “I feel safe beneath you,” she promised. “You make me feel safe and happy.”

“And you make me happy,” her highness assured her, turning her head to kiss and nibble at Elissa’s cheek. Elissa squealed and used one hand to try to push her away.

Unrelenting, Princess Viarra made a nasal, growling sound and pretended to gnaw on Elissa’s neck. “Grar! I just want to eat you up, you’re so sweet!” her highness declared, making exaggerated chewing noises against Elissa’s neck and shoulder.

Gods, her highness had gotten so strong the last few years, Elissa acknowledged as she squealed and giggled, unsuccessfully attempting to fight back. Viarra’s arms were probably bigger around than Elissa’s legs, and her shoulders were almost half-again as broad as Elissa’s. And she was tall. Possibly as tall as her mother as well as thick and big-boned, Princess Viarra was just too big and strong for anyone except maybe a wrestler or a gladiator to overpower.

Clearly Elissa would have to resort to guile instead.

Viarra shrieked out a series of giggles as Elissa reached up to tickle her sides. “Gods, no!” her highness squealed, attempting to push Elissa’s hands away. Unable to quite grab onto them, Viarra pushed herself away, laughing as she rolled onto her back.

Instead of renewing her assault, Elissa rolled over next to her, draping her left arm across Viarra’s chest and left leg across her waist.

“That was amazing,” Elissa admitted, snuggling up against her beloved’s nude form. “Thank you for being my first.”

“Thank you for being my first,” Princess Viarra countered, wrapping an arm around Elissa’s bare back. “I never imagined sex would feel like that.”

“You seemed to know what you were doing,” Elissa observed. “I mean, I could tell you were trying out techniques and all, but where did you learn them?”

“I asked Captain Vola,” her highness admitted looking over at her. “She’s pretty candid about sex advice, and even Captain Kellor admits it’s usually good advice. Part of the reason I brought you out here was because I wanted to try it, and there’s no one I’d rather try it with than you,” she added, reaching over to stroke Elissa’s cheek.

Elissa blushed and smiled, stroking her love’s powerful belly. “I’m glad you did,” she admitted, unable to think of anything else to say.

#theoutcastrogue #we-are-rogue #discussion

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overclockedroulette · 3 years

Text

did anyone say avarice proving that he has not, in fact, discarded any sense of compassion or mercy as he would like people to believe?

did anyone say hurt/comfort with ACTUAL comfort???

did anyone say VEGA MOCHIZUKI???????

no?

oh well have this anyway

~~~

Avarice held a hand out to the sky, frowning slightly as a couple of drops of water rolled off the metal surface; these things were always sudden, and he cursed himself for not bringing an umbrella. At least he was somewhat close to the palace he was supposed to be working in, so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable for long (he quickly brushed off the fact that his hair got fluffy when recently dried, and made a mental note to avoid speaking to Vega before fixing it; he was not about to deal with more dog jokes). He quickened his pace, not bothering to acknowledge the stares he was getting (wearing a slightly blood-stained lab coat as everyday apparel tends to cause that, but it wasn’t like he was going to change just because a few people looked at him weirdly). It still took far too long to get there.

The palace guards knew him by now - and whether that was a good or bad thing was to be determined, but it was at least convenient when he wanted to get in without the rigmarole of the extensive security checks. Would wringing out his hair on the palace floor be disrespectful? He grabbed a towel from the side, figuring he’d rather not take the risk, and once again hoped he wouldn’t run into Vega before properly sorting out his hair. Futile, of course, since he was supposed to be actively looking for the asshole, but he could hope.

Wandering the halls of the palace wasn’t something Avarice did very often - he only came here for work, and usually (annoyingly) he arrived at a similar time to his colleague, and didn’t have to expend much effort looking for him. Unfortunately (or very fortunately, depending on how he looked at it), Vega was nowhere to be seen, and he would have to actually put effort into finding him - which was inconvenient, to say the least.

“Mochizuki?” he called, with as little effort as possible. “Mochi, sweetheart, you’re not-”

He was abruptly cut off by a rattling crash of thunder, so loud it would have drowned out his voice anyway. He sighed. Of course it was a thunderstorm, why wouldn’t it be a thunderstorm, stupid, inconvenient-

He paused. That second sound wasn’t another thunderclap. That was - recognisably - the sound of something falling, and hard: from the next room, probably, although he couldn’t tell what it was. So, naturally, he got up and knocked on the door (after a long pause in which he considered just walking in, but figured the royal palace wasn’t the best place for his lack of manners).

“Hello? Everything alright in there?”

Nothing. Well, that was a lie - he could definitely hear something, but over the cacophony of rain and thunder, he couldn’t exactly make it out. And now he was curious, so… so what if this was bad etiquette? What were they gonna do, fire him?

He pushed open the door with ease, just relieved that it wasn’t locked, because he wasn’t sure how he would explain that, if he was caught. He paused. This was… not what he was expecting. Vega Mochizuki: cocky, arrogant jackass Vega Mochizuki, kneeling on the ground amongst scattered shards of ceramic, his cobalt-esque blood a stark contrast to the tea that had spilled across the ground; his hands were clasped tightly together in a position of prayer, and his eyes were squeezed shut as he tried to speak - some language Avarice didn’t recognise - punctuated by sharp sobs.

Oh, fuck, he was crying.

Avarice didn’t know how to deal with this. Avarice was the last possible person who would know how to deal with this. He hadn’t cried for years - he had actively stopped himself - and his idea of comfort was to hit something until it breaks. Still, the idea of just leaving - even though the guy was a prick - bothered him, for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that he had sort-of helped him out when he’d freaked out about Chio (or, rather, he just hadn’t made it worse, but it was more than he got from most people). Maybe it was because he hadn’t exploited that freak-out to mess with him yet. Or maybe it was because this situation was unbearably familiar, and somewhere, deep, deep within himself, he felt the tiniest pang of compassion.

Or maybe he was just curious.

He could go with that.

“...Vega, honey?” he started, far more tentatively than he would have liked. He wouldn’t use the nickname. Nicknames never helped him. He couldn’t ask if he’s okay, that’s a stupid question; he couldn’t ask what was wrong, because he’d hardly be in a state to answer, and he doubted he’d even want to; was he overthinking this? Probably for the best. “Would you… like me to leave you alone?”

“I-” he choked a little, opening his eyes and staring at him - far more afraid than was comfortable, although visibly trying to appear relatively composed - with sharp, sparkling blue. His voice broke and trailed off, and he swallowed his pride and shook his head. Avarice winced. This would be a lot more difficult.

“Alright.” He lowered himself down into a cross-legged position in front of him, noting for a moment that he was still just about at eye level, even while Vega was kneeling. “And… any particular reason you’re scraping up your knees with a broken teacup?”

He looked down, blinking in apparent surprise and reaching down to move the ceramic shards from under his legs. Avarice rolled his eyes and grabbed his wrists before he could move too far.

“Your hands are shaking, darling,” he noted. “You’re only going to hurt yourself more if you do that. Stand up.”

He obeyed without question, letting Avarice clean up the floor beneath him before turning to the scratches on his knees. Physical injury, he could do. This was fine. This was familiar.

“You’re shaking,” Avarice noted for the second time, cleaning out the scratches on his legs. “Why is that?”

“I- ah- I didn’t realise it was so noticeable. I’m sorry.”

His voice was shaking, too. Avarice hummed. “That didn’t actually answer my question, sweetheart.”

“I just-” He trailed off. Shook his head. “It’s nothing to worry yourself about.”

Avarice laughed. “Oh, trust me, I’m not going to worry about you. You may as well just tell me.”

“Right- no, right, of course, I…” He paused. “You’re- ah- you’re fallen, aren’t you?”

He frowned. “I mean, I am, but I hardly see the relevance-”

“Did your god ever try to hurt you? Or- or kill you?”

Oh.

So it was like that.

“Alright, first of all, she’s not my god, prick; I want nothing to do with her.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing, before just smirking amusedly. “Secondly, I’d like to see her try.”

Vega blinked. “What?”

“You heard me. What’s a moon god going to do? Send a star to fall down and crush me? Send a bunch of werewolves after me? Sit down, by the way, your legs look like they’re about to give way.”

“Selune?” He sounded almost incredulous, sitting himself down on the tabletop as Avarice knelt down to continue tending to the wounds. He was still shaking, albeit less than before, but at least this was distracting him. “But- but Selune is-”

“Widely revered and powerful, yes, I’m aware. That doesn’t mean I have to care about what she could potentially do to me, because if she wanted to hurt me more than she already has, she’d have done it by now.”

“...right.” There was a long pause. “How do you do that?”

Avarice paused, holding the cloth over the top of Vega’s knee. He tilted his head curiously. “How do I do what, exactly?”

“You- you know-!” He floundered, visibly struggling for words. “Talk like that! Like you’re not afraid of her!”

“I’m not.”

“See, that’s it!” He insisted over the top of Avarice’s soft, amused laughter. “She’s a god! She could- she- you’re afraid of the moon, for heaven’s sake!”

Avarice made an affronted noise, but nonetheless continued cleaning his wounds. “That is a gross exaggeration.”

“Hardly. In any case, you’re not- you know- afraid? That she’ll hurt you for it? Or- or that there’ll be consequences? You’re still- ah- connected, right?”

He sighed. Tossed the bloody cloth to the side for a moment and laid his hands on Vega’s knees, making eye contact again. “Vega, sweetheart, do you really think they care enough to hurt us?”

“That was- that question was about you, not me.”

“Was it really?” he mused. “In any case, trust me when I say the gods do not care - not even for the people who want them to. And there’s no point being scared of someone who isn’t listening, is there?”

There was a long silence, accompanied only by the muffled sounds of pouring rain hitting the roof. It was broken by Vega, his voice breaking slightly. “I- I honestly don’t know what scares me more.”

And then he was gone. His breath hitched, tears that were just a little too blue to be natural streaming down his face as he held up his arm to muffle any sound he was making.

“Oh, you’re pathetic.”

Avarice didn’t feel bad for him. Avarice didn’t have the capacity to feel bad for him. Which was why, when Vega started trembling in front of him, he didn’t offer any words of comfort, or affirmation. Which was why, instead, he wrapped one arm around his back and buried one hand in his hair, lifting him up from the tabletop he was sat on and so close to him he was practically in his lap. Which was why they stayed that way in silence, Avarice running his fingers through Vega’s hair as he sobbed into his chest, until Fabrica found them - at which point they both politely declined to comment on the situation.

No, Avarice didn’t feel compassion at all.

#i'm genuinely super proud of this one #oc #oc angst #hurt/comfort #dnd oc #d&d oc #oc writing #original writing #angst #tw religious trauma #tw panic attack #vega mochizuki #avarice kiriatta

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