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juminsmysticmc · 3 years

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RFA + Minor trio with a Mc who practices to do hair because she got the notice that she will have a daughter

As May is the month of the family ( in the most countries, included Korea!) I woke up with a message from @brendascorner who told me that this month she would most likely correct my ,,family’’ - writings, so here we are! I hope you guys enjoy and maybe you wanna tell me what special days you guys have in your country?

Jumin

Your husband hated himself that he was late, late for this special day and moment to find out the gender of the fruit of his love with you.

But unfortunately, the shareholders meeting couldn’t get delayed.

As soon as it was over, he grabbed his jacket to rush towards the garage where apparently Driver Kim was waiting for him to bring him to the hospital where you were having your check up.

Jumin tried to call you, however, you didn’t respond, making him kind of scared that something happened to you. Were you still waiting?

Did you get bad news?

Worse, were you angry with him?

Not knowing what to do, he called one of the guards who were supposed to be with you who then told him that after the check up, they brought you to a shop. You bought some things and returned home safely, not coming out of the room.

Jumin was worried. If you really were home, were you perhaps really angry with him?

As soon as he arrived he walked into his penthouse. He was out of breath as he moved so quickly to get to you.

,,Oh, you’re home?’’ you asked him as you turned your head around to his direction, observing him as he took off his shoes and walked on the cold floor with his socks on to get to you.

,,Is everything okay? Why didn’t you respond to your call? Are you angry at me?’’ he asked you tons of questions.

Just now, he realized that you were doing the hair of a puppy you probably bought today.

,,Huh?’’ he asked you, pointing at whatever you were doing.

But then he understood…

,,Is it… a girl?’’ he whispered.

,,Mr Han, you need to study too,’’ you laughed and kissed his cheek before you were hugged by him.

Zen

,,As your manager, I don’t allow you to miss rehearsal,’’ you told him as you were on your way to the doctor.

,,And as your boyfriend, I don’t want you to go there alone! Besides, I want to find out with you!’’ he whined.

The problem was that your appointment was the same day as his rehearsal for his big debut and if he missed this chance, he wouldn’t be able to keep working in that agency.

That’s why, even though you wished he would come with you, you didn’t want him to come along. He had to work so he could soon achieve his big dream.

,,I mean, you need to work for this baby. What should I tell him or her? Daddy wasn’t working hard enough for his dream?’’ you asked him. Now you could make him change his mind.

,,Besides,’’ you whispered as you went on the tip of your toes before you told him. ,,I want to surprise you with a gender reveal!’’

And finally Zen let you go.

While you kept rubbing your already swollen belly, you stepped in and the news she told you gave you the best idea to tell Zen the gender of your baby…

,,Can you please tell me?!’’ Zen whined as you led him to the table to make him sit down on a chair.

You stayed silent and without a word, you sat behind him and began to brush his long white hair.

You brushed it from the ends to the roots and then you began to braid his hair, inserting some flowers and some barrettes.

Zen stayed silent as you did his hair. He actually enjoyed the touch of your fingers, his hair between your soft touch. Actually, it tickled a bit on his head.

When you were finally ready, you showed him the back of his hair with a mirror.

,,Mc, this looks cute, but can you please finally tell me what the doc said?’’ he sighed, actually liking what you did.

,,Well, she said that I should practice doing hair,’’ you laughed.

Suddenly, it clicked in his mind and as he turned around to you, his eyes already wet with tears.

,,No…’’

,,Yes,’’ you laughed.

,,It’s- a girl? What if… if someone wants to marry her?’’ he whined, hugging you as he sobbed in happiness, making you laugh.

Yoosung

,,I don’t wanna know it,’’ Yoosung whined as he helped you to get the steps up.

He was overprotective, almost annoyingly overprotective, but it was also a part of him you liked.

,,But I want to know,’’ you told him.

,,Okay, then you get to know and I don’t?’’ Yoosung asked you, pointing as he thought how unfair you were being.

The topic was that Yoosung wanted to have a surprise. He didn’t want to know your baby's gender. He thought that buying pink or blue clothes for babies was just unnecessary and so he wanted to have a big surprise.

You thought this was a good idea. No one said that your son couldn’t wear pink rompers, but you still wanted to know the sex of the baby you were carrying.

,,I want to think of names, I want to prepare the nursery, I want to do a baby book and add those memories. If you don’t wanna know, I won’t tell you!’’ you told him and finally opened the door of the doctor’s office.

And that’s why, as soon as the doctor said that he would check the sex, Yoosung decided to go out of the room.

But of course he couldn’t hide his excitement and nervousness.

As soon as you stepped out, your clothes now in the right place, he approached you.

,,What did he say?’’ he indeed asked you.

,,No way, Mr Kim, you said you didn’t want to know!’’ you scolded him.

Days went by and Yoosung tried to find out the sex, but you didn’t seem to make anything differntly.

Just one day, when you suddenly bought clips and brushes, he became suspicious.

,,What are you doing?’’ he asked you, chuckling as you were trying to put your hair up.

,,You should help me,’’ you laughed.

,,You will have to do the same thing in a few years,’’ you finally confessed.

,,Finally…!’’ he laughed and kissed your cheek.

,,Finally, you told me…’’

Jaehee

,,I’m so sorry that I can’t come with you,’’ Jaehee said, looking around the coffee shop as more and more people were entering.

You stood next to her, your bag in your hand, the jacket well closed to keep you warm as you were about to go to the doctor.

You patted your belly and smiled at Jaehee who was feeling guilty.

,,It’s okay, we will handle the situation there, right?’’ you asked your belly. Of course there was no answer, but you still made her smile.

,,Okay, take care and look out for steps. Don’t fall!’’ she warned you, making you smirk.

,,As if I would fall for someone or anything other than you!’’ you flirted, making her cheeks turn red.

,,Go, you flirt!’’ she jokingly hissed and sent you away.

You laughed and stepped out, the fresh air hit you as you inhaled the air.

,,Let’s go and find out your gender, my special baby!’’ you smiled and still couldn’t believe how lucky you were to start a family with Jaehee.

The doctor greeted you and did some basic examinations before she checked for the gender of the baby you were carrying below your heart.

Hearing the news that you would give birth to a girl made your heart grow warm.

With three girls at home, you guys would be able to have a lot of fun together, you thought.

Afterwards, you first went into a shop to buy some hair accessories as a surprise for Jaehee.

Of course, she quickly approached you and asked you about the gender as soon as you entered the coffee shop, but you teased her and told her, ,,Later’’

When that later came, you first begged her to do her hair.

Jaehee understood pretty quickly what you were trying to do and with tears in her eyes, she hugged you.

,,My turn now! I need to practice more!’’ she cried and laughed at the same time.

Saeyoung

The truth behind the reason why Saeyoung, your fiancé, didn’t come with you to the doctor was that you both actually had an argument before you both had your appointment.

Neither of you remembered the reason for the argument or what event triggered you to yell at him, but you decided to go alone and he decided to let you go alone.

,,You are so thick headed,’’ Saeran hissed as he observed his brother tracking you with the GPS in your phone and all the CCTV cameras you were passing by.

,,I need to check that she arrives safely,’’ he mumbled, still annoyed.

,,Those mood swings made me… crazy. Actually, I believe I have them too,’’ he sighed.

,,Apparently, couples who love each other dearly have the same pregnancy symptoms,’’ Saeran said and stepped out of Saeyoung’s room, leaving his red haired brother alone.

Just when he saw you stepping into the building of your doctor’s office he could calm down.

,,Huh?!’’ Saeyoung hissed, looking up as he looked at the building again, noticing that you weren’t visiing your normal doctor, but the gynecologist, remembering that today you would find out the sex of your twin babies.

Saeyoung began to tear up as he suddenly regretted his decision to stay home.

Apparently, you even begged the doctor to not register the genders of the babies so not even his hacking skills could tell him anything about his babies’ genders.

,,Tell me,’’ Saeyoung begged as you entered again. You took off your shoes as you stepped in barefoot.

Saeyoung observed you. ,,Okay, I’m sorry,’’ he whined.

,,For what?’’ you asked him, taking off your jacket now.

,,Everything,’’ he gulped.

,,You forgot what we discussed,’’ you sighed and entered your bedroom, opening the closet.

He pressed his lips together as you took a few things he owned out of the closet. Did you want to throw him out?

,,Not the blonde wig!’’ he whined as you took it out.

You began to brush the wig's hair in front of him, braiding the blonde hair while he kept blabbering something which was supposed to be an apology.

Suddenly he stopped.

,,You… you’re doing this… will you have two girls?’’ he suddenly asked you, looking at how beautifully you made the wig’s hair.

,,It took you some time,’’ you giggled and was suddenly pulled into his embrace. ,,What did I do earlier? I’m really sorry,’’ he whispered.

,,You said I wasn’t allowed to eat chicken this evening,’’ you responded, making him laugh out loud.

Saeran

Lately, you and your Boyfriend didn’t really have much time together.

Between searching for Saeyoung and trying to fight his father, as well as your work, and the RFA party, you two kind of didn’t talk much at home, even though Jumin made sure that you both could live together in a little, but comfortable house.

Since it was kind of stressful, you didn’t think much of your weak body or the fatigue.

Just when you began to throw up one day, you began to think about your symptoms. Was it a virus?

However, you couldn’t tell Saeran. Knowing his characteristics, he would be very worried for you and not concentrate on his own work.

So you decided to ask Jaehee for help, who was more than happy to support you.

,,Hey,“ she greeted you, a black mask on her face as her eyes seemed to smile.

You chuckled as you slowly got into the car.

,,Mr. Han let us have Driver Kim for today,“ she softly told you and stroked your arm.

It was early in the morning when your doctor told you that you had to go to a gynecologist since he couldn’t help you.

,,I‘ve waited three hours for the results and now they say I need to visit someone else? I‘m starving!“ you hissed, annoyed, which was something Jaehee never saw in you.

,,Come, we can do this. Later I will buy you a good breakfast,“ she smiled and led you into the gynecologist's office.

,,You didn’t notice that you were pregnant for about fifteen weeks?“ your doctor asked you as you sat on the chair with tears in your eyes, shaking your head.

,,I put my baby in danger,“ you sobbed, but the doctor in charge of you quickly calmed you down.

,,It’s a girl, a strong girl, just like her mother. You will be able to do better from now on,“ she told you.

You were in a kind of trance when you left the building with a lot of information and the news of a girl growing below your heart.

,,Are you okay?“ Jaehee asked you. Now that you were pregnant, she was even more worried about you.

,,I need to see Saeran,“ you whispered.

Jaehee nodded. ,,But you will eat first, you're pregnant,“ she whispered.

Jaehee told Jumin the situation, who then sent Saeran at home without ruining the surprise, but of course the soon to be CEO already planned to make you guys move and help you if you needed anything.

,,Mc… Jumin sent me home because he said you were sick…“ he mumbled with trembling lips, kneeling in front of you and taking your hand.

You were still watching a video on how to make hairstyles when you made him get up.

Placing his hand on your belly you teared up again.

,,We're pregnant,“ you told him, making the young boy the happiest with this news.

Jihyun

You and Jihyun already decided for yourselves that you wanted to do more for people in the world who were neglected by their parents and family. The first step was to adopt Lucy.

But you also began to be foster parents, enjoying the time you had with the children around you and loving them with everything you had.

Of course, you always cried a lot when they had to leave again.

It was hard to see children feeling comfortable with you and fearing to go back home. You hated the feeling of vulnerability.

But you wouldn’t trade this wonderful job you had with anyone.

One morning, however, you were way too sleepy and sickly to even get out of bed, making Jihyun takeover the tasks you usually did.

Lucy stayed by your side since her mommy was sick.

This went on for more weeks. Sometimes you felt better and other days you still felt sick.

At some point, you couldn’t bear it anymore and decided to go to the doctor.

The surprise you faced there was very heartwarming.

,,I‘m pregnant? For twelve weeks?“ you asked the doctor.

,,Yes. It’s too early to see the gender by now but… uh! No, I can already see it, mhhh!“ the doctor nodded to herself, making you more than curious.

As soon as you got the news, you rubbed your hands in happiness and you were on your way home.

You already had a girl, and a second one would make you more than happy. Well, even if it came out to be a boy at the end, as long as it was happy, you didn’t care about the gender.

Going back home Jihyun greeted you and took your hands. ,,What did they say?“ he asked you, concerned for your health.

,,I need to practice more,“ you told him, making him wonder what you meant.

You already did enough exercise so why would they say that?

You called Lucy, who ran up to you and hugged you.

,,Come, I will do your hair,“ you said with a warm smile, brushing her long hair first and then trying some new styles.

,,What do you mean with exercise?“ he asked you again, leaning against the door frame and observing you.

,,This,“ you shortly said and now turned your head.

,,We're having a child, Jihyun,“ you whispered and in the next moment you could feel his warm body around your belly with a happy smile.

Vanderwood

It’d already been sixteen weeks since you received the news of being pregnant.

Since you and Vanderwood didn’t live together yet and met almost daily, he still didn’t notice.

Well, you didn’t even tell him.

You had planned on telling him as soon as you knew the baby‘s sex.

Also, you still wanted to make sure that he wanted to have a baby with you.

But you had your affirmation one day when he criticized the apartment you were falling for.

,,Why would this be too tiny for us?“ you asked him, kind of annoyed that he didn’t like what you liked.

But it all changed when the most beautiful words left his mouth. ,,For the future? Like, I don’t want that my children to have no privacy just because I didn’t invest in a bigger apartment. You will find other beautiful places,’’ he told you and looked away, turning a bit red.

Your heart made a few jumps as you heard his words.

So he was also thinking about a family with you, wasn’t he?

And that’s when you decided to go on with the preparations.

You knew that you were expecting a girl so you baked some pink muffins and prepared some brushes to tease him.

He did everything you wanted, he ate the pink muffins, he let you brush his hair, but when he saw that you were about to put in some princess clips, he kind of snapped.

,,What are you doing? Did Agent 707 tell you to tease me?’’ he asked you.

He wasn’t being mean and he didn’t even hiss, but your hormones were acting on their own so you began to tear up, crying uncontrollably as he sat in front of you.

,,Mc? I… I'm sorry, I didn’t notice that, hey, please, don’t cry…’’ he almost begged.

,,I"m pregnant!’’ you blubbered, ready to get up since this wasn’t what you imagined.

However, due to your sudden jump and the stuff on the floor at your house, you tripped, causing you to fall to the floor face first.

You thought you would hurt yourself and your child when no impact hit you. Instead, strong arms surrounded you, holding you.

,,I'm sorry,’’ he whispered as you felt his face on your back.

His voice was trembling.

,,I'm so happy, really,’’ he mumbled and you knew he wasn’t lying.

,,I promise, I will take care of the both of you,’’ he said finally.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

05.05.2021// 22:58 MEST

103 notes · View notes

leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

notable moments from The Maltese Falcon Job

leverage 2.15

Hardison (checking phone): Guys, they are ripping through Nate and Tara's cover stories. All their financials are blown. So look, until I know what they know, no credit cards, no debit cards, no ATMs, nothing that can be traced back to us. OK? Cash in hand only.

- - - - -

Nevins (on phone): No, not a safe house. Interpol wants Culpepper someplace off our system. We're taking him to the Governor Hotel.

Nate: OK, that's it. That's where we're gonna hole up.

Tara: The Governor Hotel?

Nate: Yeah.

Tara: The hotel crawling with FBI?

Eliot: FBI and Interpol.

Nate: Yeah, you know, it's the one place in Boston they won't be lookin' for us. Come on, we just gotta get there first

smart

- - - - -

Tara: Oh, thank God! I just stepped out to get the paper and then my door closed behind me and I tried to find a house phone, but you guys don't have those anymore. (drops towel) Oops.

Man: Uh...

(Eliot and Parker look down the hall, then at each other, then down the hall)

parker, g i r l, close your mouth

they were both slightly Into It™ and you can’t change my mind

- - - - -

Hardison: In-room checkout. (sits down on bed with keyboard) OK, look, this means that I have access to the hotel's billing computers. It's a big ol' backdoor in every hotel room in America. (hacks system) As of right now, we've been here for a week, and our reservations are good for another week, courtesy of this man's platinum card, Mr. Ogden Shields, who has spent a lot of time in the adult section of pay-per-view. I mean, did he even leave the room?

Parker: In-de-panties Day?

~ a few moments later ~

(Parker takes keyboard from Hardison’s hands)

Eliot: All right, I'm gonna go get some keys made. I'm goin' to the gym. Make sure I can charge stuff on the room.

Hardison: I gotcha.

(women moaning on TV)

Parker: Wow, she really wants that car clean.

Hardison: That’s-that's enough of that

parker is baby and hardison wants to protect her from that nastiness

- - - - -

Nate: Why do we care about him?

Hardison: 'Cause he's big on the surplus weapons market.

Eliot: (laughs) That's just a polite way of saying arms dealer.

Tara: His specialty's buying cheap guns from Third World countries and reselling 'em.

- - - - -

Nate: Don't worry about Sterling.

Eliot: Did you just say, "Don't worry about Sterling?"

Nate: Yeah, don't worry about Sterling. What you don't think I can beat Sterling?

Eliot: I think in the last six months, Nate, I've heard you talk about beating the Triads, beating the Russians. All right? Maggie's boyfriend. Huh? How'd that work out? We all said that meet was a bad idea, right? But you got a taste for taking down this Mayor and you can't resist.

Nate: You wanna walk away? Walk away.

Eliot: I'm not walkin' away. It's not my job. My job is to get your back. And, Nate, I'm gonna do it. All the way down. But I need you to do your job.

Nate: And what's that?

Parker: Be Nathan Ford. Be the person we came back for

PARKER BABY she showed emotion I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

(Eliot holds up the piece of paper taken from Bonanno’s house that reads ‘Maltese Falcon’)

Eliot: That's still bugging me, man.

we love to see eliot confiding/leveling with hardison

- - - - -

Parker: Ooh! But, uh, I have mini-bar.

her in the maid outfit with the french accent

+ HER WINK IM GAY

- - - - -

Nate: You help Tara and Parker. I'm gonna stall Sterling.

Hardison: How?

Nate: I'm thinking.

(Sterling gets into an elevator. Nate heads up the stairs, stopping at every floor to push the elevator button. Sterling begins to get irritated when the elevator stops at every floor but never sees Nate, who gets progressively more tired as they go upward)

[Hallway]

(Sterling gets off on the 14th floor. Behind him, Eliot pushes his cart into the elevator. Sterling glances at him but the door closes before he can get a good look. Sterling approaches the door the FBI agents are guarding)

petty and fucking ICONIC I wouldn’t have the stamina for that but neither would nate tbh and honestly he was probably running on pure spite to make that happen and I respect him for that

- - - - -

Parker: Housekeeping!

(she goes inside, pulling her cart in behind her. Once in the room, she finds Tara and Hardison in the window. Hardison is tangled in his line, and Tara is trying to help him)

Hardison: Ow. That's... Stop. Hey, I got this. Stop. I don't need help.

Tara: Clearly you do.

Hardison: I got this. I got this. Go.

LMFAO E V E R Y TIME

we love to see the running bit of hardison utterly FAILING at anything rappelling related

- - - - -

Culpepper: Where are the agents? Where are the agents? There should be two FBI agents standing at the door.

(Eliot walks in with Parker thrown over his shoulder)

Nate: Did you have to?

Eliot: She saw our faces.

Nate: OK. Yeah, put her in the tub with the others.

(Eliot takes her into the bathroom)

- - - - -

eliot can always knock a bitch out with one (1) punch

- - - - -

Sterling: So, I'm gonna make you a deal. You find Kadjic, tie him to the guns, I'll give you a free pass. Just this once, you get to walk away with your record wiped clean.

Nate: My team?

Sterling: They go down. Every last one of 'em. They deserve to go down. They're criminals, Nate. Thieves. So that's the deal. You bring me Kadjic and the guns, and I cut you and you alone loose. Because at the end of the day you're always right. You're not a thief. This is your second chance.

(Sterling picks up the flask and walks away)

this was actually really interesting to see. sterling leveled with nate. he knows nate, knows how he works, thinks he knows who nate really is on the inside. they have a Past™

- - - - -

Nate: Yeah. No. I... I, uh... Listen, I need you to come back. Um... I need you. Uh, I need you.

[Interior Helicopter]

Sophie: No, no, no. Speak up. I'm traveling and...

[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Not the team. Me. For me. Not for a con. I just... Listen, I... I don't know who I am anymore, Sophie. And, ah... When, when I was chasing you and everything and we were doing cons, I knew who I was, but not anymore. As crazy as this sounds, I need you to tell me, tell me when I'm goin' too far. I mean, it just... It gets out of control and I just don't know who I am and, and you've always been... .y compass. And, you know, I care about you more than yo-you'll ever know, because I lo... I lo...

lmfao when the signal is lost? tragic

- - - - -

eliot is wearing a flannel in the final scenes

- - - - -

the obama portrait very visible in the background of the government building? we love to see it

- - - - -

eliot DING DONG WE’RE HOME spencer owns my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

Nate: What are you doing?

Eliot: Countin' all the guys with guns.

Nate: How many?

Eliot: A lot

smart and TOTALLY an eliot thing to do

- - - - -

Parker: Don't worry. No one's ever died going in through an air duct.

Tara: Oh, this is comforting.

Parker: I mean, worst case, you slip and fall. Break your legs. Lay there for days, scratching on the metal. It's like a long, metal coffin with wind. (excited) Let's go!

(Parker runs across the roof)

she’s baby and I love her. never, ever change parker

- - - - -

Computer: Match identified.

Hardison (bending over keyboard): Damn, you finally found something, half-pint?

HE CALLS HIS COMPUTER HALF PINT ??? ICONIC

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, where are you?

Parker: Sorry, had a buzz from the alarm system, I couldn't hear a... thing. What?

(Parker’s face hardens and she heads for Tara, who is putting the rappelling gear back in the oxygen tank)

Tara: Parker, what's wrong?

(Parker grabs Tara by the throat and pushes her back until she is leaning over the edge of the building)

~~~

Tara: You're really strong.

Parker: Yeah. I hang from buildings with my fingertips.

Tara: It's not what you think. I was setting up a meeting!

Parker: Actually, that was exactly what I was thinking. Bye now.

Tara: Not for myself

- - - - -

ANNIE KROY IS BACK

- - - - -

(Eliot, his hands tied, is being led to some stairs by two goons.)

Man: I'll get the hatch.

(one man moves ahead of Eliot while the other stays behind him. When Eliot doesn’t follow the first man up the stairs, the second pushes him)

Man 2: Come on.

Eliot: Thirteen.

(Eliot and the second man struggle, sending gunfire rifling across the ceiling before the second man is knocked down. The first man comes back and kicks Eliot in the face. Eliot kicks him in return)

Eliot: Come here!

(Eliot swings his hands across the first man’s face, knocking him back)

Eliot: Twelve.

(Eliot knocks the first man out)

Eliot: Eleven.

(Eliot starts up the stairs, but hears someone else coming and waits around a corner. After a brief struggle, he knocks this man out as well and breaks the zip ties on his wrist)

Eliot: Ten. (heads up the stairs

HOOOOO BOY

MARK ME DOWN AS SCARED AND HORNY

also if parker and hardison know what he was doing? they’d be marked down as the same

- - - - -

Tara: All she asked was that I report back to her every now and then. Are we sure this is the fastest way?

Parker: Yeah, look. (looking at car GPS) There's no traffic this way. So, you were spying on us.

Tara: I was not spying. I was an early warning system. Sophie just, she was worried Nate might go off the rails. So, if it ever looked like he was spinning out of control, I was supposed to call and let Sophie lay in a backup plan just in case.

Parker: Yeah. Why not us?

Tara: Because you were too likely to forgive him.

Parker: I suppose gettin’ busted by the FBI and trying to bring down arms dealers while kidnapping a mayor does qualify as out of control.

Tara: So, anyway, I used my contacts to get Sophie set up as a buyer for the guns. You know... You actually had me worried for a second that you were gonna drop me.

Parker (laughs): That is silly

- - - - -

(Hardison is carrying a large monkey wrench and smiling. He hears noises and goes to investigate, seeing Eliot starting up a ladder)

Hardison: Hey. It took you long enough.

Eliot: What?

(Eliot starts toward Hardison, but a man points a gun to his head)

Man: Freeze.

(Eliot grabs the gun and knocks the man out)

Eliot: One.

Hardison: What

hardison if he knew what eliot was doing: hot damn

- - - - -

(the team gathers together. Parker hugs Sophie)

Sophie: Ooh. Parker touching.

Parker: Kinda, yeah.

- - - - -

Eliot: There's not that many ways out of here.

Sophie: Eliot, when I arrange a rescue, I do it properly.

(a helicopter lands on the docks near the ship. The team heads down the stairs, but Nate hesitates, looking down at the blood on his hand from his side. He goes down the ladder to join the team on the lower deck)

- - - - -

Nate: I've destroyed all the evidence the FBI has on Culpepper and Kadjic. You have no photos, no tapes, you don't have anything. You don't have a case on anybody, unless you arrest me. And only me.

Sophie: Nate?

Nate: I agree to turn state's evidence. I testify to what Kadjic told me, how he put the hit on Bonanno. Hell, I'll even give you Bonanno's evidence against the gunrunning.

Eliot: Nate, I can take these guys.

Hardison: It's just ten more yards to the chopper, man.

Nate: Listen, guys. I got you into this mess. This is the only way to get you out.

eliot is still ready to fight for his family no matter what and hardison just wants them to leave because they’re SO CLOSE

- - - - -

Nate: Come here.

(the team moves closer to him)

Nate: You guys are the most honorable people I have ever met in my life. You've become my family. My only family. I won't forget that. (looks at Eliot) Now get 'em on the chopper. Please. Now!

Eliot: Let's go.

(Eliot nudges Parker and she reluctantly heads for the gangplank. Eliot touches Hardison’s arm)

Eliot: Let's go, man.

(Hardison walks away. Eliot hesitates a moment, shaking his head, then follows the others, hesitating at the top of the gangplank near Sterling)

nate trusts eliot, and only eliot, to be the one to be able to get the rest of the team out of there and into the helicopter. he knows eliot and how much he cares for his family and will do anything to make sure they’re safe, and nate is betting on that to get them out of there

eliot has to be the one to make parker and hardison move because they’ll listen to him and also there would be a good chance that they’d try to stay with Nate otherwise

his gentle hands leading them away have my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

(Sophie and Eliot get on the helicopter, Eliot hesitating one last time before getting in)

this hurts eliot so much because he’s the RETRIEVAL SPECIALIST and he’s supposed to get everyone safe and never leave anyone behind I’m-

- - - - -

Agent: Who the hell is this guy?

Sterling: I don't know.

Nate: My name's Nate Ford, and I am a thief.

(more sirens are heard. Nate begins laughing as the helicopter lifts off and more police cars and agents arrive, surrounding Nate and the dock. Nate watches the helicopter fly away)

MAJOR character development for nate this season (2.01 had him refusing that he was a thief and in multiple other episodes in this season)

oh and also, y’all, just like last season, if I had to watch this go down like that with my own two eyes and have that be the end of leverage (because they close every season like it’d be the last) I would have fucking R E V O L T E D

#leverage #leverage 2.15 #leverage 2x15 #the maltese falcon job #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

A Road to Somewhere, Chapter 1 (Adore Delaska) - Puppy

A/N: So, I’ve been wanting to write a Spirited Away AU for some time, so here we are. Spirited Away is my favorite Studio Ghibli film (plus the first one I ever saw) and I thought it would work in this setting.

I would like to thank @thackeryisatop and @chaoticnachokitten for helping me beta. Also thanks to @chaoticnachokitten for helping me with final casting.

I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this first chapter.

Chapter 1

Spanish Translations for Chapter 1:

“Ojalá que sobrevivan” - “I hope they survive”

“Puedo abrir la ventana?” - Can I open the window?

“Mierda” - “shit”

“Mija” - “my daughter”

The jolts of the car startled her out of possibly one of the best naps she’d ever taken. Besides, it was the snake dream again, so it wasn’t anything new. Adore blinked herself awake and stared out the window and directly into the sun. It was so bright that she could barely see a thing. She couldn’t tell if they had left California or not, and she didn’t want to ask her mother if they were there yet. That kind of shit doesn’t fly now that she was a thirteen year old girl, practically an adult in her perspective. From the likes of it, it seemed that they had driven for 5 hours, yet the drive didn’t feel like it was getting any shorter.

Her phone was nearly dead and her mom had the charger at the moment, so there wasn’t any use trying to get some more juice on it. No one wanted to look at her updates on the trip. Heck, even Ganja was probably too busy with Gia and couldn’t be bothered with their own things to pay attention to her. They’ve probably been to San Francisco before; it wasn’t anything new. In the meantime, she just stared at the bouquet of flowers Laganja was thoughtful enough to buy.

“I’ll miss you, Adore. Until we meet again.” The messages on the card read with Laganja’s signature following it.

She appreciated the sentiment. She really did, but it seemed to her that they could’ve done more than just carnations. She was almost surprised that the flowers had survived this long considering the heat. The whirring of the engines and the occasional voice from the GPS kept her from napping any longer. “Moooom?” Adore groggily maneuvered herself within earshot of the woman driving the car.

“We have about an hour left. I think you can handle it. Now get back in the back, Dory.”

She sighed and sulked in her original spot. “I really don’t see why now was a good time to move. Azusa was, like, the bomb.”

“Me neither, but think on the bright side. There won’t be as many knife fights and we might get a cat at the new house. And your cousin says the middle school is great. You’d fit in well, I hear.”

“But Ganja won’t be there…” She whined, leaning back a little farther and scaring herself with the crinkling of plastic. “FUCK!”

“Watch your language.”

She whined. “SHIT! They’re all sad now.”

Bonnie glanced in the rearview mirror at her daughter and a newly crumpled bouquet of flowers. “Maybe you shouldn’t have smothered them.”

“Someone finally sends me flowers, and it’s for this. Great. They’re probably gonna die before we even get there.” Adore never doubted the California heat; that was an apt excuse for her pessimism, right? On top of everything else that had happened today, her gift wilting away into nothingness would be a perfect ending to this already hellish day.

“Ojalá que sobrevivan. We’ll put them in water as soon as we can.”

“Ma? ¿Puedo abrir la ventana?”

“Sure,” Bonnie responded. “Hold onto the card,” she shouted over the sounds of the wind blasting into the small car, “You don’t wanna lose it!” Her daughter took that word to heart and shoved the note in her jean shorts’ pocket. They’d be at the new house sooner than later if she took another nap, but it felt like something out there was keeping her awake.

It must have been that same force that subtly influenced Bonnie to avoid the GPS and swerve into a wrong turn, thrusting the seat belt-less Adore to the other side of the car. Thankfully, she was unharmed.

Bonnie cursed in Spanish before slowing down her drive. “I must’ve missed the turn. Mierda. On the bright side, I think there’s a rest stop up ahead so you can stretch your legs or do whatever it is you need to.”

“What’s with all those rocks? They look like houses.” Adore poked her head out of the window to get a better view, her Ariel red hair whipping behind her.

“Never mind. At least we made it.” Her mother parked the car and stepped out. The more the two looked around, the less it seemed like a normal rest stop. There weren’t any park benches or vending machines; hell, there weren’t any other people besides them. It was simply the Delanos, the forest, the road, and the structure ahead of them. “Ah… now I got it. This probably used to be some tourist trap in the early eighties.”

“Why’d people stopped coming?” Adore wondered as she observed the framework of the building. Maybe it’s the fact it’s in the middle of the fucking woods, Adore. She blinked as a voice in the back of her head answered her rhetorical question. “Y’know what? Screw it, I’m going in!”

Bonnie grabbed her hand, halting her daughter in the process of rushing through the entrance. “No you’re not.”

“Come on, I just wanna look at it. Only for a few minutes!” The redhead whined as she wiggled her hand out of her mother’s grasp. “I’ll be, like, right there and back…”

“I’m… gonna call the movers. Tell them we’re gonna be late and-” Before she could finish her sentence, Adore ran into the tunnel. “Let’s hope they have a key.”

The teen stopped and looked behind her. She could barely see her mother on the phone as she was washed out by a pool of light. The tunnel felt longer than she expected, as she never fully felt like she reached the middle. A breeze blew behind her, urging her to go forward. It may have been strong enough to blow her over, but it felt gentle in places too. If Adore was to fall, the wind would probably catch her and set her on her way. She scoffed and went on her way, faster as the wind pushed her.

This place wasn’t like any other tourist trap that she had encountered before. It was mostly a field with a small collection of buildings far off in the distance. From what Adore could see of the buildings, they were foreign in nature - Japanese, probably considering California’s history. An old straw hut struggled to stay upright at the wind, decorated with dandelion seeds from a far off field. The cobblestone she was standing on eventually gave way to a dirt path towards the infrastructure. A clock tower stood on top of the structure behind her: dormant, yet imposing. A little farther down the path, there was a collection of rocks. Bonnie shortly caught up to her and they both took in the view.

“Damn… we should’ve brought a picnic.” Adore muttered off-handedly. As if on cue, a savory smell wafted through the air.

“Come to think of it, I am starving. Let’s see if there’s something up ahead.” The two women went on their way down the path and towards the little uphill town. “They were probably going to put a river there,” Her mother pointed to the rocks, “Would’ve been neat.”

Adore followed suit, becoming more aware of the noise of the footsteps. The more she traveled down that path, the less she wanted to stay. The less she felt wanted. However, she hadn’t eaten in a couple of hours so it was worth it. She had enough energy to hop up the stairs without tripping.

When they entered the town, it was mostly deserted. There were definitely sounds of action and evidence that people had been there before. Occasional piles of bones stacked on top of plates from previous customers and some orange peels had been scattered around the ground. “Are any of these still open? It’d be a dick move to come in, like, fifteen minutes before they close.” Adore wondered aloud before, as if by magic, the two arrived at a buffet. There were a few catches though. From what they could see, there was no one at the kitchen or at the cashier’s. “Maybe they’re on a break?” she continued, but her mother ignored her.

“Mija, you’ve got to try this!” Bonnie shoved a forkful towards her daughter, who stepped away

“I don’t think I oughta. Also… vegetarian, remember?.” Her mother ignored her as she scarfed down whatever was in front of her. Adore didn’t care how good it looked, she didn’t want to eat it.

“This is the only time we’re gonna have anything of quality before we get to the house. Come on, you’ve gotta have something… When was the last time we ate? Breakfast?”

“Yes, but isn’t this, like, kinda stealing? There’s nowhere that specifically says ‘all-you-can-eat’!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Bonnie said with a mouthful of chicken, “I’ve got credit cards and cash. I’ll pay when someone gets back.”

Adore just scoffed and wandered off while her mother engorged herself with whatever was in front of her. They were going to be here for a while, so she’d might as well get a feel for the place. She glanced at the empty shops as she walked, hoping that another one that was more her speed was open and manned properly; however, she had no money so she was basically screwed. The redhead trudged her way up another flight of stairs towards a sign. She couldn’t quite make out what it said, but it didn’t really matter. She turned to her left and gasped, noticing a building she hadn’t seen before.

“Wha?” Adore blinked to see if she was seeing it correctly. It looked like a traditional bathhouse. There was some steam or smoke coming from a chimney-stack, so there had to be some people inhabiting this ghost town. “That’s strange…” she pondered. If so, why weren’t they out and about? What was so great about the saunas that everything else needed to be neglected? She grabbed a ponytail holder and put her hair up into a messy updo and approached the bathhouse.

As soon as she was about halfway across, she was startled by a sudden rumbling of the bridge and a crossing train, or at least the sound of it. “I… guess there’s a station nearby.” She talked to herself before speed-walking to the other side to see it cross. She hopped up onto a railing and leaned forward to get a better look. The farther the train was out of sight, the more cautious she was becoming. It was as if someone, or something, was watching her every move the moment she came to the bridge. When Adore stepped down from the railing, her suspicions were confirmed.

A girl who looked about her age (perhaps a little older) stared at her, gasping as Adore made eye contact with her. It was as if she had run into an old friend. She had blonde hair that went to her mid-back and was slightly taller than her with a fairer complexion than her. There was something definitely odd about the lady, but she couldn’t quite place it. The two stared at each other for a bit as the sun began to sit behind them. There was something familiar about her, but too familiar. There was no time to focus on formalities though.

“You shouldn’t be here, you know,” The blonde charged towards Adore.

“Wait what? Why?”

“No time to explain. It’s getting dark.” She increasingly grew more panicked, pushing Adore farther and farther down the bridge. “You should leave. NOW.” It was nearly too late for words now. The sun was setting faster by the second and lamps began to light behind them. She collected herself for a moment and whispered in Adore’s ear, “I’m sorry, but I have to do this. I’ll distract them so you can get away faster. The woman then pushed her towards the last stretch of the bridge at the edge of the staircase.

Adore looked back at the woman. She couldn’t quite understand what she was doing, but she noticed something come from the other girl’s hands. They looked like flower petals… or scales, perhaps. She wasn’t close enough to fully determine the material. “Bitch didn’t have to push me though…” she mumbled to herself before running off to find her mother again.

She called her as loud and as frequently as she could. Her voice could’ve given out at any moment without hesitation. Thankfully, the redhead was able to determine her location; it seemed like anyone could hear the sounds of her chewing no matter where they were. “Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!” She tugged on her mother’s arm, but she didn’t budge, “We gotta go! We gotta go! It’s getting dark! I don’t wanna be here anymore! I’m-” Before she could apologize any more, she witnessed the hand she was holding turn into a cloven hoof. The face that then faced her wasn’t human. Adore stared at her mother’s bovine features as she stepped back. “Mom…” She remained frozen in place as the pig that sat in her mother’s face continued to gobble at whatever was in front of her.

There was something grotesque about her mother being treated like that. A frog-like spirit appeared from behind the counter and beat the pig with a flyswatter as if she was some common pest. Adore covered her ears as she heard the pleading squeals from the sow that used to be her mother. She jumped when Bonnie eventually fell down. There was nothing she could have done at this point. Many more spirits surrounded Adore, signalling the human to run for her life. She had clearly seen enough in one day.

The girl remembered her path the best that she could. She spotted the clock tower in the distance; she knew the exit was closer than she thought. Adore ran down the steps, nearly tripping over her own feet. She could have been seriously injured if not for the body of water that caught her. For a split second, she wished she could have sunk to the bottom of the makeshift lake, or at least she’d become a mermaid and swim to safety. Alas, she couldn’t swim that fast and she couldn’t even drive yet. She was simply stuck.

She came face to face with an oncoming riverboat. For all she knew, it could have been manned by ghosts as well. She was able to make out a few figures at it reared closer to shore. It was almost like Noah’s Ark in a sense that the inhabitants were mostly animal spirits. They were conversing; she could overhear bits of small talk. It was like they couldn’t even notice the sopping wet human off in the distance.

Adore crouched down and curled herself into a ball. This had to be a dream, right? She hoped she was still in the car drooling over her shirt and covered in the petals from Laganja’s wilting flowers. She and her human mother would be at the house by now, and she’d get around to settling in her room with a phone at full charge. She rocked back and forth with her head in her hand. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Wake up, goddammit!” Adore slapped herself. “Just go away…” She muttered after calming down. She realized soon enough how poor of a word choice that was.

As she attempted to shield her eyes from the boat’s lights, it was all in vain. She could see the boat through her hand. In time, the boat docked and the animals disembarked while continuing their conversations. As soon as they touched the land, something strange happened. They transformed into more humanoid states. Some of the spirits still had hints of their true forms though. There were ones with beaks and webbed fingers; some still had their original ears and tails as well.

Adore quickly backed away into a corner, hoping to not be noticed. Although it wasn’t like she was going to due to her current state. She crawled up a hill when she was fully out of the procession’s line of sight. When she went to a haven of safety, she crawled back into a ball. All she felt like doing more than anything was to fully disappear into the nothingness that surrounded her. She was taken out of her daze by someone tapping on her shoulder. Adore jumped slightly and turned towards the touch; it was the girl again.

“Don’t worry. I’m trying to help here.” She shoved a berry towards Adore’s lips. “Please. Eat this. You need to eat something from this world in order to stay in this world.”

“Aren’t you gonna apologize for fucking pushing me?” Adore tried to push her back in retaliation, but it was no use. She had simply passed through.

“Alright, I might have been a bit harsh. Are you going to eat this or not? I promise it won’t turn you into a pig.”

The redhead opened her mouth, letting the berry fall into her mouth. She chewed as her face twisted, reacting to the taste. It was a little tart for her taste and not very filling, but if she needed to eat to save her life, then so be it. Her shoulders dropped, becoming less tense. She didn’t know why, but she felt so much calmer around this stranger.

“There we go,” The blonde held her hand and squeezed it lightly, “You’re here. You’re alive. You’re okay.” Her touch felt strange to Adore. Her hands were rough, but not calloused. It was as if they were covered in something other than skin. Scales perhaps? She was cautious enough not to rub the wrong way.

“I’m okay,” she parroted back at the woman.

“You see? Now, come with me.”

“Wait!” Adore yanked the standing girl’s arm, bringing her back down to eye-level. The blonde sat down and listened attentively. “What about my mom? She didn’t really turn into a pig, right?” She asked as if she didn’t see her transform in front of her. Hopefully, this was merely a trick of the eye or her brain was making her see things from fatigue. It had already been a long enough day; the last thing she wanted to do was cry.

“You’ll get to see her soon enough, but not right now.” She put a hand on her shoulder, but quickly stopped herself. There was danger lurking around and she could sense it. “Fuck,” she muttered under her breath, pulling the human into her and shielding her body from the force that followed her. “Don’t move.” Adore couldn’t help but stare upward.

There was a large black bird, no bigger than a vulture, circling the area. The strangest thing about it was the head. Instead of a beak and feathers, it was a shrunken human head. She couldn’t quite make out what or who the head was supposed to resemble, but the face didn’t seem happy. After a few more swoops, she clung to the person, enjoying her protective nature and the touches.

“I think we’re good. Let’s go.” The woman attempted to bring the young human to her feet, but couldn’t. It was like her legs refused to move.

“Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no…” Adore hyperventilated, but was quickly shushed.

“Calm down. Take a breath. Can you do that for me?” Adore nodded her head while the mysterious woman smiled. “Lemme… do this real quick. In the name of the waters and earth beneath me, unbind this girl from the land.” Her hands glowed a radiant white and Adore stood up, as if by magic.

“That thing is probably after you. We have to get you out. Now.” Before she could properly thank her rescuer, the magical woman gripped her palm and started to run.

And off they went.

#rpdr fanfiction #adore delano #alaska thunderfuck #adore delaska #lesbian au #supernatural au #spirited away au #a road to somewhere #puppy #concrit welcome

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wildlyminiaturesandwich · 5 years

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Do you have pcos? or any kind of health problem that makes it hard for you to lose weight? I'm just curious, don't answer it if you don't feel comfortable

Ok so I got a couple messages asking this same thing, as well as people suggesting that “just lose weight and then try again”, so I’m gonna put a bunch of information (and I mean A BUNCH of information) under a cut here that explains everything and why “just losing weight” isn’t a solution nor is it the problem. Like, at all.

If you don’t want to read all of this, you really don’t have to. There’s a TL;DR at the bottom and I wouldn’t blame you for just scrolling straight there and skipping my rant lol

I don’t have PCOS, no, my weight is mostly a “side effect” of my mental health and years of trying different medications to help with that. Just in case some people aren’t aware, two of the most common side effects of anti-depressants are increased appetite and weight gain. That coupled with one of the two most common symptoms of chronic depression — lack of energy and motivation — means that over the years I’ve slowly put on weight.

Even though every doctor insists on telling me I’m overweight and need to lose weight as though I’m completely oblivious to my own body and such an idea as losing weight has never occurred to me before, I have in fact tried to lose weight many many times over the years with very little success no matter how healthily I ate and how much I exercised. The only time I have ever had success was back in my 20s when I switched to a gluten and dairy free diet to try to fix another issues I was having with my gut. This is why, in the past few weeks, Mr Sandwich and I have been slowly switching our diets to be gluten and dairy free.

BUT even though I am doing that, and exercising as much as I can with my limited energy, it’s not enough. I can lose weight, sure, but I can’t lose enough weight quickly (and safely) enough to be able to do IVF, which I’ll get to in a minute. So it’s not always as simple as “just lose weight”, everyone is different and despite what most people think, a lot of overweight people don’t chose to be that way. Why anyone would think that is beyond me, but a lot of people do and because of this you get people treating fat people as less than human, as though we’re not worthy of any kindness or sympathy because obviously we had to have done this to ourselves, right?

This is also why I get so annoyed when people equate being overweight to being unhealthy. The whole “overweight people are twice as likely to die early” bullshit is nonsense! Sure sometimes it’s the case, but not always. I am not medically unhealthy at all. Apart from being unable to conceive and my mental health issues, neither of which are a symptom or side effect of my weight, I am actually perfectly healthy. Over the past few years I’ve had every test anyone could come up with to try to find out why I wasn’t falling pregnant and that includes things like liver, kidney and thyroid function, cholesterol, diabetes and blood sugar tests, blood pressure, the list goes on. Everything everyone always associates with fat people, all of it was tested, and everything came back perfectly normal. I had a doctor literally say to me “If I hadn’t seen you in person, I would never have known you were overweight based on these results”, which just goes to show you how biased even doctors can be.

Warning: If you don’t wanna learn some interesting stuff about fertility and reproduction, don’t read any further.

So why am I trying IVF if I’m healthy?

Fun fact: When a woman talks about her “biological clock” ticking, it’s not even a joke; a woman’s biological clock is like a clock counting down from the moment she’s born… or maybe it’s more like an hourglass? Either way, unlike men, who can produce viable sperm from the time they hit puberty until the day they die, women have all the eggs they will every have in their entire life already tucked away in their tiny little ovaries from the moment they form as a fetus. That ovarian reserve starts at around 6-7 million follicles during the fetal stage, by the time that new baby girl is born that number has already dropped to 1 million, and by the time she hits puberty she’s only got about 300,000 left. Of those 300,000, only about 300-400 will be ovulated during her entire lifespan. That number obviously continues to decrease when a woman ovulates each month right up until they run out and that is when the woman will go through menopause, and there is no way to raise that amount either. Once the eggs run out, that’s it, there’s no more. Pretty grim huh?

By my age (35), a women with perfect reproductive health will have an AMH (Anti-Müllerian hormone, essentially an indicator of how many eggs you have) level of around 5.1 pmol/L (2.3 ng/mL) but for some reason, my ovaries seem to think I’m actually50. My AMH level is 0.3 pmol/L (0.1 ng/mL), which is considered EXTREMELY low and essentially what that means is I will never be able to conceive naturally. My only chance to conceive and carry my own biological child will be through IVF.

Now, it’s super important to note that low AMH has absolutely nothing to do with weight. There are a lot of different reasons that AMH levels can be low and they could be anything from hormone imbalance to a side effect of cancer treatments, from smoking to mumps. My hormones are normal, I’ve never had cancer or mumps, and I don’t smoke; in my case, it’s most likely due to constant and severe amounts of stress (like years and years of it). But seeing as there’s no medical way to test that, the cause of my low AMH has been deemed by my doctor as idiopathic (unknown). So while weight does have some affect on conceiving naturally, in my case it wouldn’t matter how much I weighed because my AMH level would still be low even if I wasn’t overweight.

In Australia, there are these wonderful things called Low Cost or Bulk Bill IVF clinics. At a private IVF clinic you’d be looking at about $10-15k (Aussie dollars) a cycle for IVF, but at a bulk bill clinic they can charge as little as $800! Unfortunately at these low cost clinics you’re not able to chose your doctor either, you just get whoever is available so that’s a problem too. But the way they’re able to keep costs low is a combination of Medicare rebates (Australia’s free health care system) and the fact that they don’t use full sedation during egg collection which costs a buttload of money because anesthetic. They use a combination of local anesthetic and twilight sedation, which means lower cost for the patient, it’s win win… unless you’re overweight. For reasons I have yet to figure out — because not a single clinic can come up with any reason every time I ask — most clinics demand you be under a certain weight before they’ll treat you. I’m not going to tell you my exact weight but it’s not anywhere near this stupid limit.

Another fun fact: This weight limit is non-existent in private clinics but I don’t have, nor could I get, $10-15k. The fertility specialist I spoke to yesterday also suggest bariatric (lap band) surgery as though that were an actual viable option. Like, listen lady, if I had the money for that (anywhere between $5-20k), don’t you think I would be using that to go to a fat-friendly private clinic instead of talking to your rude arse at a low cost clinic?!

This all brings me back to the TL;DR of it:

Here’s the problem I’m facing. A year ago when my AMH (egg supply) was tested it was 1.4 pmol/L (0.6 ng/mL), which was already very low then, but it’s dropped down to 0.3 pmol/L in a little over a year, so at that rate I’m going to run out of eggs and be hitting early menopause most likely before the end of the year. At 35 years old.

Merry Christmas to me.

This has nothing AT ALL to do with my weight but for some reason these IVF clinics have a weight limit and there is absolutely no way I can lose enough weight (safely and healthily) before I run out of eggs, hence why I’m so mad. Even if I had barbaric surgery it still wouldn’t be enough time! None of these stupid clinics give a shit about that, all they keep saying is “lose weight and then come back to us”, as though I have all the time in the world!

My only options now are to a) rob a bank and take my fat arse to a private clinic. b) rob a bank, get myself some bariatric surgery and take a buttload of speed to lose weight SUPER fast, and then take myself to a low cost clinic. c) rob a bank and use the money to buy a baby. Or d) continue to do as I’ve been doing and will continue to do regardless of what happens and that’s lose weight the safe and healthy way and run out of eggs while I’m at it.

Last fun fact of the post: All of this could have been avoided had my stupid GP tested my AMH levels 5 YEARS AGO when I asked him to! It would have been low then as well but not as low so I would have had more time AND back then I would have just scrapped in under the ridiculous weight limit!

/rant

#i'm sorry it's so long 🙁#nonsims #saviourhide #personal #Anonymous

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papa-pietro · 4 years

Text

A hundred days since he'd met this girl, or at least, that's what it felt like. Anthony was having a hard time remembering a moment before she existed, but he knew there must have been one.

It was Saturday night, and he was certain she'd show - she always had, after all, and there was no reason tonight would be any different. He straightened his tie, even though it didn't need it. He pushed a hand over his head, even though he'd had it shaved recently. And he brushed his fingers hard against the place in the back of his neck that might or might not have grown tense with anticipation of the evening.

He knew her name, somehow or another, and when he came downstairs, or lurked upstairs, or pushed through doors, or pulled open ropes, he always looked for her in the front. She was nearly always up front, and he said her name in his head rhythmically, like a mantra. Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. The girl with the pretty eyes, with the smile that lit up the room. Damn, he was smitten.

Not that he'd tell anyone that.

Anthony wasn't shy, and that was kind of his thing. But the truth was, he had a little bit of a hard time being forward when it came to matters like this. He thought too much about the way his hands would feel on her waist, the small of her back, climbing the stair steps of her spine, the ladder rungs of her ribs and, fuck, it was just. A lot. And as he pushed open the door to the downstairs of NBC and spotted her (he always spotted her right away), he felt his stomach flip. He'd taken to calling her "my girl" in his head. He thought, 'There's my girl.'

It had been something of a wild lead-up, too. Every week felt closer and closer to something it was obvious neither of them were either willing or able to name, but there was always this tension in the air that made the hairs on his arms stand up. He was delighted to see her, in that outfit she'd chosen (did she choose them specifically for him?), but it wasn't until they'd gone upstairs and, after a half hour of waiting, they were in a line formed by roped off barricades against the wall. This was the place where he was able to chatter with the standby line folks, get in a little bit of smalltalk with the folks on the ground, and it wasn't like he grinned or anything (it was against his Brand), but he played with them, joked with them, his wit dry and sarcastic.

The difference was that this time when he found her in the line, when he paused and tried to start up a convo, he felt emboldened by her laugh. It was unique, something melodic, and for a moment, Anthony was stricken cold, frozen, unable to move the way he wanted. But after a beat, he did so, and it was just to turn away from her.

A second later, he realized that maybe she'd thought he was brushing her off, but he couldn't take that moment back now. Was Y/N disappointed? He glanced over his shoulder to look, regretting that he hoped she felt let down.

But in the meantime, he was jotting something on a scrap of paper at the desk, indicating nothing to anyone around him. Anthony was stoic by nature, his face hardly giving away anything, and as he scrawled his phone number on the paper the pages and interns around him might have thought he was merely writing down a reminder to buy milk on the way him. But then, he folded it up and tucked it into his palm before he approached the line again, and when he saw her, he raised both eyebrows. He still refused to grin, but his face took on the air of amusement when he asked, "You're never going to smile, are you?"

And then he prompted her, reaching forward as if to high five her, but in his hand he held the paper, the one that he transferred to her palm with that simple touch. ("Simple." To Anthony it felt electric. To him, it felt telling.) Knowing she was about to disappear into the studio and he had kinda put his shit on the line, he halfway grimaced once he turned away from her and told the guard up front to start letting the line through, but he had his hopes held high for this girl, even if it was going to bite him in the ass.

Two hours later, four hours later, hours and hours later, when both shows were done for the night, he checked his phone. Anthony was disappointed he didn't have a message as he started to collect his things in order to take the train back home. But then, as if she knew what was going on in his head, the phone in his hand clanged happily. He looked. Unknown number. Message opened, and. Y/N. Holy shit.

Anthony took a beat, two beats, three whole deep breaths before he was able to read the whole thing, not grinning outwardly, but thrilled to his core inwardly. He read the name of the bar where Y/N was located and checked, double checked, made sure the GPS lined up with the location he already anticipated, and with an uncharacteristic spring in his step, he set off. Anthony moved past the barricades outside 49th St with an eas unfamiliar to him, crossed the street without a care in the world, and entered the bar moments later with a thrill that made his fingertips tingle in ways he'd missed for far, far too long.

Like the line, he spotted her easily, immediately, those eyes, that hair, and this time, he smiled. A real one, as he crossed toward her from the door to her stool at the bar. "There it is," he said, a call-back what he'd remarked on in the line. "You look so good when you're happy."

A decent start to the night, anyway, and Anthony bought them each a drink. Her, another round, and him, his first of the night. He didn't know what to talk about at first, but she was loosened up enough to chatter, and he felt enthralled. He asked her about work, about classes, and she asked him about his work. He learned about her hobbies, and she showed interest in is. And maybe it was too soon, or maybe it was inappropriate, but when the clock had struck somewhere after half past two, Anthony asked, "This place is clearing out. You want to come to mine and have one more drink?"

Y/N accepted in a way that made Anthony's stomach flip, and he guided her out of the bar and into the car with his hand on the small of her back. The ride was spent relatively quiet, the two of them checking their phones briefly until Anthony started the conversation back up. As they pulled up in front of his place well outside of Manhattan, Anthony helped Y/N out of the car with a hand outstretched, but instead of letting go, he guided her to the door with her fingers pressed into the spaces between hers. He wanted to hold on, to be touching her, to know her like this without any unnecessary requirements, and he felt the same way once inside.

Drinks, right, he remembered! He led her to the kitchen where he uncapped something brown, maybe whiskey, who knows, and he poured them each a small glass. But, to be honest, it didn't matter to Anthony what they were drinking. Before it was half done, we can blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol if we must, he stepped forward, a strong hand on Y/N's back, pulling her forward. He wanted to tell her that he'd been thinking about kissing her for months, but instead, he said nothing. Anthony kissed her, and he did it hard, the urge behind it obvious, his fingertips pressing firmly into her back while the other hand pushed up and into her hair. He craved her, and his mouth watered when he caught the hint of hers. "You should stay," he said a beat later, his mouth close enough to hers that he knew she could taste the alcohol on his tongue. He pulled her close again, her hips against his, and then stepped forward until he could press her back against a wall and line himself up against her. "I want you to be mine tonight."

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ralfstrashcan · 5 years

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3x19 Reaction / Commentary

I didn't even skip breakfast today, it's almost as if I'm a real functioning adult ahahaha.

SDFALFJSKLDFJASDF I'M ALREADY A MESS

Ngl those first few shots made me think I had fallen headfirst into a zombie apocalypse movie. Wind swooshing through the speakers, no living soul in sight, no cars driving, just Magnus walking along the street, on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams hahahahaha sorry I'll stop.

Wow what a jerk.

There's been so many hilarious jokes about the “What fool summoned you” line, and my favorite one will forever remain this.

So, points to Magnus for asking, minus points for buying this shit not-sound-at-all story. Even “fatherly love” can't just screw the laws of nature, okay, Magnus shouldn't just skim over this. Then again I can definitely cut him slack on this because he is a little preoccupied with other problems at the moment.

Listen, Magnus's body language throughout this whole scene (and also throughout the sneak peek we saw for 3x20) is so expressive. Imma skim over it because I plan to do a thorough Relationship / Scene Analysis for Magnus and Asmodeus, so let me just leave this picture here uncommented.

No wait, I have a question. Isn't Magnus's magic occupied with guarding Lilith's home? Did Asmodeus pick it up before summoning himself or did he call it just now? Also, does Asmodeus know that Lilith is on the loose? Then again, is she even? Because no Shadowhunter can be bothered to look for her and she did say that she wanted to go back to Edom... but that was probably a lie to get Cain to cooperate. And how could she even send herself back to Edom? So many questions. Anyway moving on because who cares about Lilith.

Magnus's face when he gets his magic back. ....................yes I have no witty words here, sorry.

Lol okay I have. I love this scene, I absolutely LOVE Magnus's face and how expressive it is, but I've also been dreaming of an epic eye-sparkling, energy-crackling mid-battle-scene where Magnus regains his magic for uhhhh almost a year now, and in terms of dramatic-ness this was pretty anti-climactic. And I think we can agree he won't lose his magic again and then get it back in a more dramatic fashion. Also where are his cat eyes I feel cheated.

I mean, come on, even he gets to show them!! Btw what a dick cunning move to use them to manipulate Magnus. Since they made a compelling argument the first time around.

Also LOL Asmodeus playing nice for one second and when Magnus denies him he immediately shows his hand with “I won't take no for an answer.” Man has no patience XD

Finally I wanna give a huge HUGE shout out to Magnus for resisting Asmodeus becuase can you even imagine how low he must be feeling and yet he has enough presence of mind left to realize that whatever comfort Asmodeus offers can't be true, there must be a hook and it's best to stay away. Dude what strength.

“I only lost sight of her for a minute.” “Enough time for the Evil Rune to have taken hold.”

Uuuhhhh since when?? Did they also go to the bathroom together before?? Did I miss that?? I mean, sure, Clary was drifting sometimes, but she spent a whole half episode in the same cell as Jonathan with Jace “away” behind the glass wall and out of her sight, so...... yeah. This is a little sudden.

She keeps saying that but we have yet to see her actually filter anything. #nofilter

“No one can hurt us if we get to Morning Star first. And once we have that sword the entire world will be terrified of us....”

So he wants that evil sword not to open a rift but to keep the NY Shadowhunters off his back so he can live his life in peace. I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g.

Yes, good. Finally learned your lesson.

.............Or not??? I mean it's not like Clary pretended to be on his side before, to lull him into a false security and gain the upper hand. Why would he fall for it now? Because he acts like Jace is the only risk factor here, and Clary is of course truly and wholly on his side. I mean, true, the circumstances are different since she freed him and all, but like. Guy must have trust issues by now. Where are they.

Also

he should start a self help group with Alec hahahahahaha *weeping*

Me, waiting for the next episode of Shadowhunters. (Also I just noticed Simon says “me neither” not “mine neither” so it sounds as if he's not Izzy's thing, either and LOL I couldn't agree more ahahaha.)

Uh-huh, I agree. Perfect timing. I mean, it's not like there was a glaring 98% there earlier, and as if he didn't have plenty of time before to bring this unfortunate line of conversation up. This is on you, Simon. Don't blame the filtering.

HAHAHA ASK ALEC, HE'S GOING TO THROW IT AT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously though. Just, uh, crush it into powder, add some saline solution, done. And I'm not even a scientist. This is intuitive. The heck.

I'm 1000000% on board with all of this, okay. Over excited Alec is the best Alec. Handholding is the best. Magnus's weariness of surprises is headcanon confirmed. Yes to all of it.

So there were a few lines that were widely interpreted as allusions to their kinky sex life and tbh I never bought any of it because I thought it was seeing too much where there was nothing, but this is so very obviously meant in a kinky way that I'll accept it. Another headcanon confirmed ahahaha this episode is so generous to me.

Ugh I'm so gonna have to write something about that. And knowing myself, it'll be sad closeted Alec daydreaming of all the things he can never have.

Question time, what are those weird rivets thingies? Do they hold any meaning? Is their placement of importance? Because they look very deliberate and very there. I'm confused.

Also, this scene was designed to drive me crazy. There's 7 different shots where we see the lock's placement and there are no less than 3 (!!!!!) different placements. Placement #1, #3 and #5 are consistent (though really, #1 and #5 shouldn't even count because they are clearly the same shot, just with Magnus's hand reaching for the lock) on the left side of the yellow lock, to the bottom left of the Dips lock.

Then we see Alec placing it in an empty compartment at the very edge of the construction (placement #2), only for it to be on the compartment below that in the next shot (placement #4), sharing space with a little gray-blueish lock. This is the same place from where Magnus removes it then (placement #6).

I hate inconsistencies, okay, and I really did notice all this the first time watching. I can't not-see stuff like this. The only fun that comes out this detail obsessiveness is the lock that clearly ships Captain America and Captain Marvel (left) and the lock that was placed from two years in the future (right) because ahahahaha did the show forget it takes place in 2016?? It would seem so.

And yes, I chose to focus on this instead of the fact that Magnus incinerates their lock because that hurts my heart too much to think about, okay. That scene was perfect, the music swelling in all the right places and just. So heart-wrenching. I might've teared up a little. You can't prove anything.

Why she not removing those paper thingies? Seems impractical.

Paint on face trope? Check.

Yeah Raphael, lemme pay you some respect for facing your mistakes like that. I like it a lot.

Istg if they don't give him GPS this time and just rely on the tracking rune again, which Jonathan and Clary will insist he blocks, then imma flip my shit.

.......................so many fanfics want to be written here, okay. So many.

Also is no one gonna talk about the fact that they all put the ring on the pointer when that's not the intuitive position to place a ring? For security reasons alone you should put it on your middle finger so it doesn't accidentally slip off. Oh right, I forgot. Magic ring.

I love how Alec's voice wavers and you just know he sends Jace away because he'll start crying if he doesn't (even if in this screen cap Alec looks weirdly happy). Btw headcanon that Jace didn't realize something was up at first and was only tipped off when Izzy asked earlier if Alec was okay, and then he prodded at the parabatai connection and realized... there was nothing. Just a solid wall of nothing, because Alec's been sealing off his feelings completely.

1) Wow, Simon, your condolences are amazing. 2) Please, explain? Is she in a coma? Walking around as if she'd had a lobotomy?? But whatever, just skim over this, she's a minor character anyway and nobody cares about her *shrug*

This is the LAZIEST plot convenience I ever had to see with my own two eyes. I really can't work up the energy to rage about this. Just, wtf. Then again, not calling ahead with vital information seems to be Luke's Thing, just remember the 3x15 disaster. At this point it might as well be considered a character trait of him and no longer plot convenience. *sigh* Also, Shadowhunters are major creeps, am I supposed to believe they don't have a few liters of all of their soldiers' blood stored away somewhere, for reasons?

Uh-huh, Izzy. And if you care to remember, that was about 20 episodes ago. And since vampires have a constant craving for blood they seem to have some kind of metabolic. If you want to tell me that Jace's blood is still IN Simon, then either a) he's been chipping away at the Jace-blood-stash he has hidden in his second gastric and if that runs out he'll no longer be a daylighter or b) Jace's blood went into Simon's cells and changed him on a molecular level..... in which case, to extract it they'd have to remove it, un-daylighter-ing Simon in the process. Or maybe just parts of him? Imagine if he was a daylighter except for his left arm or something. In any case, this is majorly ridiculous and I can't believe I have to suffer through this.

????????????? Who opened that portal? I mean, if he had to call on a warlock to get away, wouldn't it have been easiser for Izzy and Co. to stop him from running through that portal and make him donate some blood first? Instead of forcing this bullshit logic on me? Ugh. But I get it, this is necessary to justify a Sizzy scene. Whatever.

Hahahhahha.

Which means nothing, since Jace can activate his runes without his stele. Or did they forget that part again?? I mean, it's been half a season since he last did that.

“And if it wasn't for our connection I suspect you'd do it again.”

lolololol hilarious.

HAHHAHA WILL YOU STOP WITH THE HILARITY

Honestly, the way they all act I get the distinct feeling I'm watching an exasperated kindergartener and two particularly clingy toddlers vying for her attention XD

Uuuuhhhh yeah hit me with more Malec Flashbacks to make me feel shitty, why don't you.

Okay, consoled. Btw thanks for confirming another headcanon that between the two of them Magnus is the one easier swayed by puppy eyes.

HAHAHAHA of course my mind immediately interpreted that as a misguided pun about Magnus being a Prince of Edom hahahaa wtf Alec

Dammit, his eyes. You can really see how he's allowing himself to start dreaming about it.

Also, can't believe they had a kiddie talk with at least some seriousness, what, two months into their relationship?? Haha. And internally Madzie was like “Uh boring grown up talk, at least I got my sprinkles.”

See, this is what I have problems with. On the one hand, even with all his emotional turmoil going on, Magnus is still enough in his right mind not to fall for Asmodeus's sweet talking, but on the other hand he revisits all of those memories and doesn't realize Alec breaking up with him can't have been real? This doesn't really add up. Either he is out of his mind with emotions that he can't see this very very strange happening for being something fishy (then he shouldn’t have been able to so easily resist Asmodeus), or he's still level-headed enough not to be driven by emotions entirely (then he should have realized the breakup was fake).

toddler fight intensifies

I'M WHEEZING HAHAHAHAHAHAH R U FOR REAL. Also remember my statement from last week? Where I said “I mean, in a way it's nice to know that Demonic Clary isn't smarter than Regular Clary.” Turns out she's so much worse than Regular Clary XD

Lol Raphael is that still you talking or the Plot Point? Because ngl, when I saw that sneak peek promo thingy where Jordan eyes the dramatically last vial of serum in the Institute I immediately thought they want to cook up a conflict there, where he steals the last vial needed to help save Clary and bla bla bla. I really hope they don't go down that road because I feel he should be better than this by now. *sigh* In any case, while I enjoyed the first part of this plot line with Raphael coming here to make reparations, this feels really forced and convenient.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SIMON FOR ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WTF I NEED ANSWERS

Wow can't believe they pulled this obvious and clearly unfitting parallel to Sizzy. I mean, Simon lost his glasses back in S1 and even before that Izzy noticed he was hot in like ep 2. She's been appreciating him as a friend since at least 2B if not sooner. So please don't pretend that she just didn't notice what a great guy he is, because she did. She knows he's someone you can count on, who's there when you need him, with advice or a joke or just to listen to you. She knows all this, and has for seasons. But, surprise surprise, you don't fall in love with everyone who's a great guy and a good friend. That is a thing. Friendships are a thing. Anyway, at least I can wholeheartedly agree that in any possible scenario Izzy is the hot girl XD

HAHAHA JACE THAT'S PAYBACK FOR ALL THOSE TIMES YOU INTERRUPTED MALEC HAHA KARMA IS A BITCH RIGHT

.......or just use glamors to look like Downworlders. Just saying.

Jonathan using the cuts to get a secretive chest grab in on Jace, but I know all those sleazy tricks and you can't slip that feel-up past me #busted

*weeping tears* yeah, and he'll never get the real deal. what a tragedy.

“...the Downworlder club. I think the runes front and center on my neck make a compelling argument, don't you agree?” Also the foreboding background music totally spoiled this 'twist.' (I'm using ''s because it was totally obvious this wouldn't work.)

Look I just love Alec, okay. I LOVE ALEC.

*waves hand* elite guard *waves hand some more* blue mark on his neck *smacks self in the face with waving hand* look i'm pretty sure Meliorn doesn't have a mark like this and he's like, the only Seelie that gets regular screen and talking time with the queen. But I'm way too behind schedule to start looking into it, I might edit something in here later (or never ahahaha).

OH DEAR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

YES YES YES PLEASE

DUUUUDE WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM IDEAS WHAT THE HELL

Also, remembering that short sequence of Magnus shooting red magic at his temples from the promo doesn't bode too well for the rest of the episode. Dammit.

You had one job, Lindsay. One. Job. (Yes, please imagine the Loki Gif here. I just love him a lot, okay. Loki <3<3<3)

(^pls imagine her little disenchanted headshake because any screen caps I tried to take made her look drugged out of her mind lol.)

Yep, this is it. This is it.

Sooooo.... how exactly did they persuade the bouncer? Just curious.

HAHAHAAHAH duuuuuude hahahhaa.

........when exactly did Jonathan spy all that? I mean, I've been having questions about the pacing since that ep with the Baby Jonathan Flashbacks, because that manibus whatever demon? Referring to 2x05. So Jonathan only got to earth after that? Howwww? Not thanks to Valentine, right, since he didn't even know Jonathan existed until 2x15 where Jonathan intercepted him from his portal to Idris? And didn't they say Sebastian Verlac disappeared half a year ago?? How does that all match up?

In any case, I feel like the seelie queen suddenly having a warlock boy toy who she can't order into her realm and who she has monthly scheduled appointments with that the whole shadow world knows about is a) totally absurd b) pretty ooc for her and c) reeking of plot convenience. They just couldn't find a better excuse for her to be at a certain place at a certain time. They should have made her attend a fashion show, or hell, a gardening contest. Would have been more credible than whatever this is.

“I grab the queen. Clary portals the three of us away.” “The four of us, including the queen.”

HAHAHHAHAHHA I CAN'T XD XD XD #slightly consoled

WHEN THE HELL DID JONATHAN READ / WATCH THE SHINING ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW WTF!!!!!

1) This doesn't work in real life. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to catch a snow flake or a raindrop this way? I know because I've tried, and the anwer is ages. 2) Seems a very uneconomical way to distrubute drugs. Whoever invented that business model must be in deep depts by now. 3) What kind of shitty plan was that on Jonathan's part? Get Jace on drugs, he'll surely expose himself to be a traitor? I hate the fact that it works. I hate that everyone's shitty plans always work (re: Sizzy's dilettantish prison infiltration) because that's why they all keep making shitty plans. Positive reinforcement and all that. The only one who always gets punched in the face for making okay-to-good plans is Alec, and that's why he's the overthinker. So unfair.

“Well this is awkward because I just stole it for you.”

So frakkin predictable. Also, how did he steal it from the table when Izzy and Simon where guarding it?? It clearly was still there when Maia left and like

Did Jordan just grab it and run? So many questions.

Don't get me wrong, that whole forging the sword sequence was super badass, but like, if you're wielding scorching hot metal it seems a little impractical to just wear security goggles and a leather apron. There were freaking sparks flying and Izzy ducked. What the hell. What about, idk, unconventional but, a protective suit?? And Simon isn't any better. “Oh, I could die from this sword? Just lemme hide behind this doorway real quick.” *sigh* One of these days a character should die because of dumbass behavior, maybe that'd teach them all a lesson.

Also, this is totally logic. They had a splinter from the original sword that they then made tons of serum from, which they saved 3 vials of..... and somehow this was still enough to forge a whole new frikking sword that's apparently just as powerful as the original one. I don't even know where to start with this bullshit.

.................dude, if you wanted to persuade her you should have pointed out the ring to her. But maybe this isn't about logic at all, this is about wanting to know if he is Clary's first choice without logic or reason, and that would make sense for his character, even if it's not the most sensible or productive course of action.

Me, during the fight scene: “Wow, I believe all that Seelie guard slaughtering is not going to end up in a Downworlder vs Shadowhunter war again..... ha..... hahahaha.”

Arguing with a possessed person. Again. Honestly this is the, uhhh, fifth time this happens on this show? And people just seem to never learn. SIGH

Yeah, by not following the plan and acting stupid, so my sympathy is pretty limited aka non-existent. Btw his slide across the Institute floor was hilarious. And also, pretty nice of Clary not to just kill him. This is the second time she's spared him. Interesting.

ISTG IF THIS SCENE ENDS WITH A CLIFFHANGER IF HE GOES THROUGH WITH IT OR NOT IMMA FLIP MY SHIT

*manic laughter* I love that this makes so much sense. Asmodeus needs Magnus's heartbreak so he'll be susceptible to Asmodeus's influence. So his motives are shitty. On the other hand it's not as if what Asmodeus says to Magnus isn't the truth. Fighting through this will make Magnus stronger, no doubt. Knowing he can be this low and still get back on his feet without running away and succumbing to the pain. And I'm glad, for obvious reasons, that Magnus didn't go through with the memory removal because ain't nobody got time for those issues. Mending the breakup in a satisfying was will be hard enough as is. Back to the scene at hand, I gotta say I love this about Asmodeus: He doesn't lie outright, he mostly lies by omission, and he speaks enough truth to really screw with everyone's perception. It's awesome. He is such a great antagonist and his dynamic with Magnus is highly fascinating.

Conclusion: Not enough Malec (seriously, their only scenes together are flashbacks? the frakkin audacity) but tbh I'm still too high on endorphines since the memory removal didn't happen that I'm mostly okay with it. And the Jonathan-Jace comedy was nice.

#shadowhunters #3x19 #magnus bane #alec lightwood #isabelle lightwood #clary fray #jace wayland #asmodeus #simon lewis #jonathan morgenstern #maia roberts #kyle #luke garroway #raphael santiago #reaction

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porchwood · 5 years

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Okay, here goes. The incredible @everlarkedalways created a GoFundMe to help me out through present circumstances, but before I share that link, I wanted to explain a bit of what’s been going on. I feel awful accepting financial help, in part because I’ve been such a dry well for the past 18 months (I have nothing creative to give back/say “thank you” with) and also because so many of you have previously contributed monies to help me through other crisis points over the past five years (yes, it’s been that long and no, it doesn’t seem to be getting any better). But things are maybe the most desperate they’ve ever been and I really can’t say no to badly needed help.

Because I’m long-winded, I’m going to try to condense this into a simple chronological order. Things have been relentlessly bad since my car accident on December 26, 2013, but this is where the current run really started:

December 2017: The day after Christmas, I went to the ER at 3am with excruciating chest and upper back pain, a bad experience all around (terrible staff, indifferent care). Their best guess was that I’d had an acid reflux attack, something I’d never had before (but have had since, alas :/).

January 2018: The ER bill saga began, and after loads of paperwork/headaches applying for any kind of aid/bill forgiveness, they put me on a payment plan for the $1,343 balance (and yes, that was "after” insurance - Marketplace policies are crap and all they did was “adjust” the total; nothing was covered). Meanwhile, I started taking Lucky to an acupuncturist over an hour’s drive away, desperate to find something to ease her severe separation anxiety (nonstop barking and howling when I was gone, which we have been struggling to treat, with varying degrees of success, for over two years). The sessions were very expensive (around $400 for one month - I had to put them on a credit card that I’m still chipping away at) and actually made her WORSE.

February 2018: The downstairs neighbors left a mildly threatening note about Lucky’s howling - the day before my birthday. In a ridiculous twist of luck, I managed to find a great sitter who only takes little dogs and was (and still is) able to watch Lucky for me as needed, but it cost me $25/day. (At most I would use her two days a week, but you can see how quickly that would add up.) At the same time, I also started administering CBD drops (suggested by our new vet) to Lucks when I had to leave her at home.

July 2018: After increasing the dosage multiple times, I finally started seeing improvement in Lucky’s behavior from a combination of the CBD drops and SAMe, which was huge (note the timespan), but these therapies cost about $100 month. I resolved to make it work somehow.

September 2018: I found out that my workplace had been bought out by an area salon and would be changing hands soon. Shortly thereafter the new owner sent us the employee handbook, which stated that we could not have another job in the same field (many massage therapists in this part of the country work at multiple places as there simply isn’t enough work to go around, especially in the off-season). The new owner was originally okay with me keeping my second job (on-call work at a yoga studio), and then I learned that that position was switching from a subcontractor to an outright rental (I would have to pay up front for the use of the room and possibly make none of it back while having to promote myself as a business), so for several reasons I decided I would leave that second job at the end of October and try to pick up more hours at my “main” job. One bright spot in all this: the downstairs neighbors moved out at the end of the month, but...

October 2018: ...the day after the neighbors moved out, the landlord informed my roommate (a THG fandom friend and content creator) that the owner of our building had sold the property and that we had 30 days to vacate. I can’t even begin to articulate how stressful, expensive, frightening, and exhausting that time was. By the end of October our only real option was a little house approximately 10 miles from town, and miraculously we got ourselves moved out there - to the tune of lots of $$$ and insane energy expenditure.

November 2018: Because I now lived about 20 mins from work and I have to come home at lunchtime to take Lucky out (and give her a booster of anxiety drops), I had to switch to split shifts. If you’ve ever worked split shifts, you will understand why this sucks (you’re never home, you’re always tired, and you never see or spend time with the people you live with). My new boss put me on the schedule for two additional days a week (I initially had just two days a week, period, hence the second job), which initially seemed very promising, but neither myself nor the rest of the staff realized that the new management had an either/or policy when it comes to pay. (This is messy and frustrating to explain, but in a nutshell: instead of getting paid commission for massages and hourly for the rest of your clocked-in time - laundry, desk help, etc - you get paid ONLY commission, i.e., nothing for all the extra things you do, unless the commission divided by hours amounts to less than minimum wage, in which case they pay you minimum wage for the week instead, including for your massage hours. Which is not cool but is, apparently, legal.) So I was driving about an hour a day (20 mins each way, twice, to the tune of about 300 miles/week) just to make minimum wage (we were entering the dead season for massage and I’m the perpetual “second string” therapist anyway, so some weeks I had just four clients in four days :/), which was exhausting and disheartening.

December 2018: Daylight glimmered: my sister (with whom I am extremely close and who I hadn’t seen in a year and a half) flew out to see me after Christmas. A coworker agreed to cover the whole week and a half of her visit for me, and I was a little nervous about taking the time off (unpaid, of course) at such a rotten financial time, but I hadn’t had a vacation of any kind since moving to Maine nor a weekend off since August of 2017. I resolved to be extra frugal during her visit and my work schedule was going to be almost full after she left, so I was pretty sure I could squeak through somehow.

I saw her off on her return trip, and that night I was carrying some dishes down from our living room when I took a very bad fall down the stairs. These are awful, steep “Maine stairs,” and in my fall my left leg shot out through the open side of the staircase and wedged the knee against the bookcase in the dining room below. When I tried to get up I realized that something was very wrong with my knee, and my roommate helped me to bed with ice, a brace, ibuprofen, etc. The following morning I went to the hospital and was directed to the same stupid ER (the last place I ever wanted to go again, but they don’t have urgent care out here and wouldn’t let me just see a GP, so I broke down and cried in admissions). The care I received was middling, if not as bad as on my previous visit, and the nurse-practitioner ordered no weight-bearing for three days, which meant losing the rest of that (desperately needed) work week, and advised following up with orthopedics the next week if the knee wasn’t better.

My wonderful roommate made all kinds of accommodations for my comfort for those three days, and I implemented all the extra therapies I could think of (turmeric, arnica, l-glutamine, Epsom salt soaks, etc). I asked my employers about the possibility of picking up non-massage hours (covering the desk, laundry, etc) but was given the impression that there was nothing for me to do till I could return to massage again. I went to the orthopedic doctor last Thursday and his diagnosis was an MCL (least concerning of the knee ligaments) sprain or tear. I was already strides ahead on his self-care recommendations (getting myself off the crutches, constantly wearing a good brace) and he was supposed to refer me for some PT, but I haven’t heard a peep on that front, and I’m not particularly concerned because, Lord knows, my insurance probably wouldn’t pay for that anyway. He estimated 4 weeks to full recovery but I’m determined to get back to work before that.

So, here’s where we’re at: I’m out of work at the worst time of year, and at the very least, I’ll lose 2.5 weeks of pay (on top of the planned week I took off, plus Christmas and New Year’s were unpaid holidays). Because we live in Maine where everyone has beastly heating fuel, even in a decently insulated house (as I believe this one to be), it costs us around $350 a month to keep the place at 58 degrees through the winter months. (Yes, 58 degrees. 60 if we’re splurging.)

My credit cards are maxed out from car repairs and copious Lucky expenses (including an emergency vet visit - she ended up being fine but it was one of those things that happens after hours/over a weekend and you really shouldn’t wait several days to have checked out).

Oh, and just for fun, our January rent payment got lost in the mail. The landlord was very nice about it and we promptly sent out a replacement, but this meant paying $35 for a stop-payment on the missing check (did I mention that I had to buy checks, to the tune of almost $30, just for paying rent?).

Those of you who have already donated: you are quite literally keeping me going right now. You covered Lucky’s rabies booster yesterday and refills of her food and supplements (all of which, naturally, were running out at the same time), and Lucky is absolutely the reason I’m still alive, so her care honestly means more to me than my own.

I have no idea what my medical bills will look like at this point. I’m assuming the ER visit will be around $1000, and I’m sure the orthopedic visit will be up there somewhere too. As soon as bills start coming in I’ll apply for aid (or, likelier than not, a payment plan), but in order to do that they’re going to want my new tax returns, which means I’m going to have to get my taxes done (probably in Feb) just to find out what my ultimate medical expenses will be. (I used to do my own taxes cheaply through TaxAct, but I was a subcontractor for part of the year, which complicates things and means having to pay someone $$$ to do them this round. I may actually owe on my taxes this year, which is terrifying.)

The healing has been going well overall and I’m hoping to be able to go back to work next week, but I don’t want to assume my knee will oblige. To add insult to injury, I just got hammered with a terrible cold (the kind that levels you in bed), so my body is triaging itself and I’m not sure which is going to get the care first. Surprisingly enough, Lucky’s being a great little nurse, but recovery is a difficult and very lonely process, especially when you get saddled with illness on top of injury.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I’ve been reluctant to talk about the miserable past year, but in light of the fact that I’m receiving (and, I guess, asking for :/ ) help, I thought you should know what’s been going on. Thanks for listening and blessings on your day. <3

#bad stuff #gofundme

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shootwinterfest · 5 years

Text

Happy Hunting

Shoot Secret Santa Gift by @lizburnz!

The navigation system chimes, “You have reached your destination,” and Shaw mashes on the brakes, simultaneously as she cuts the wheel.

The car screeches to a halt, slanted in a parallel spot, ridden halfway up the curb in front of some apartment buildings and a few startled pedestrians. She slams the gear into park and bolts before the tire smoke even has a chance to settle. Anything else vehicular related is irrelevant now, as she leaves the door hanging wide open and the engine still running.

Root needs her- needs her help. With what? Specifically, Shaw doesn't know, but the short text with more exclamation points than words seemed pretty damn urgent. And since Root's phone has been going straight to voice mail ever since, she believes the threat to be serious, something that requires a second gun and Shaw's most preferred method of intervention. Shooting.

But the neighborhood is quiet. Well, not that it shouldn't be, this early on a Saturday morning, but when Root's involved in anything there's usually some degree of chaos. Oddly, nothing seems to be out of place. No smoke means no fire, no screaming means no gunshots have recently gone off. The only person running like their life depended on it, is Shaw, who's starting to wonder if she's even at the right place.

But it is the right place. 314 Avenue C. And Shaw knows this because it says so. Right there on the door. Behind Root.

The woman who cried wolf lounges casually at the foot of the stoop, without a scratch on her head or a single care in the world. And though Shaw is somewhat relieved by the sight of neither dead nor dying Root, it doesn't make her any less perturbed, being pulled out of bed at the brink of dawn because someone can't quite grasp what constitutes an emergency.

Shaw drags her feet the rest of the way, shoving her hands deep into her coat pockets so Root can't see how tightly they're balled into fists. She doesn't want to do anything she might regret, like punch a certain grin off a certain someone's face. Not until she has a valid reason at least.

“Good morning,” Root sing songs in her usual pleasant way.

“What is it this time?” Shaw asks, bypassing formalities completely. The faster she gets to the point, the faster she can turn down whatever it is and go home.

“Let's see...” Root glances to the imaginary watch on her wrist. “Fifty-eight city blocks in less than twelve minutes. Wow, Shaw! I think you broke your old record.”

Shaw's eyes flutter into the back of her head. “Why am I here, Root?”

“Isn't that the age old question?” Root ambles to her feet with a large cup of coffee in hand. “Whole milk. No sugar. Just the way you like it,” she says, extending it towards a wary Shaw.

Whether it's a hot cup-o-bribery or a peace offering, Shaw isn't sure, but she takes it anyway. “You know, this doesn't even begin to make up for-”

“Do you like hunting?” Root asks peculiarly and out of nowhere.

Shaw just blinks. There isn't enough caffeine in this coffee, or in the entire city of New York, to help prepare her for the roller coaster that is Root's cryptics.

The first thing that comes to mind is fugitive tracking of course, a literal man hunt. Now that, Shaw could get on on board with. But knowing Root, it's probably nothing so obvious and easy. It's two very different things, what Shaw thinks and what Root actually means.

“It depends,” Shaw says, reluctant to commit without details first. She's learned the hard way too many times before. “What the target is... if I can shoot them... but mostly, my mood.”

“And...” Root leans in on the tips of her toes, “What kind of mood do you currently find yourself in this lovely day?”

“The pistol whipping kind of mood if you don't cut the crap and tell me what you want.”

Root pouts half-heartedly, slipping a piece of paper from her coat pocket, to which Shaw snatches and unfolds. Written on it, in barely legible hacker scrawl, is a list of addresses that still do everything but answer Shaw's question.

“They're apartments,” Root clarifies. “I need your help finding one.”

A map could do a better job. Hell, Root's practically got a GPS system and then some squawking in her ear. But maybe it's more than that, Shaw thinks. Maybe there's a bomb planted in one, or a missing person tied to a radiator. Looking closer at the list, she finds a four digit number beside each address. Next to that, some kind of code... 2/1 1700SF W/D...

But it isn't until Shaw reads the part about “no pets” that she shoves the paper back at Root.

“This is why you 911'd me? To help you house hunt!” Shaw says, gaping in amazement. “Are you out of your damn mind?”

Root throws her an obvious look.

“I thought you were...” Hurt. Dying. Both. The potential of either could light a fire of apocalyptic proportions under Shaw's ass, and Root seems to relish the fact. “Do you know how many traffic laws I just broke?”

Root shrugs. “All of them, I imagine.”

Shaw deadpans her for a moment, mystified as she internally debates whether or not she should spoil her knuckles today with an all you can beat buffet of Root's face. Shaw nearly mowed down a group of tourists crossing the street, sideswiped about a dozen parked cars, ran every single red light while doing quadruple the speed limit. For christsake, she car jacked someone at gunpoint. And for what? For the exciting, once in a lifetime mission of finding analogue-interfull-of-shit a place to live?

“Happy hunting,” Shaw eventually says and turns heel in the opposite direction. And of course it isn't the last word. Root follows on her heals and whines in her wake, with things like please and wait and a few pet names she isn't allowed to call Shaw in public.

“You're bored, I get it,” Shaw tells her in stride. “The Machine gave you the day off, so instead of annoying relevant numbers, you've decided to annoy me instead. I get it.”

“No, that isn't-” Root groans in frustration. “Will you please just hear me out?” and she hooks an arm around Shaw's to stop her. “I called you because, one, I value your opinion. And two, I thought you'd like to be a part of a mutually beneficial decision.”

“How in the world does this benefit me?”

“Think of it like this. The sooner I get a key to my own place, the sooner you can have yours back,” Root says and places an encouraging hand on Shaw's shoulder, which is batted off not a second later when the information is really processed.

“You have a key to my apartment?”

“I made copies.”

“Wait. Copies, plural?” As in more than one? “Seriously, Root. What the fuck.”

“Look, we can stand here, arguing semantics for the next 45 seconds until your stolen vehicle is swarmed by cops, plural, or...” Root jingles a set of car keys like a carrot on a stick. “I'll even let you drive,” she adds, and Shaw doesn't have much time to mull it over, not with all the sirens wailing in the distance.

“Fine,” Shaw finally agrees, though it was a tough decision to make. The back seat of a squad car or Root's- where is her car?

She presses the clicker and follows the faint little beep across the street, to where the vintage muscle car sits. Not just any muscle car though, a cherry red, 1967 Mustang twin turbo V8 in pristine condition. And Shaw knows this, because it looks just like the car Harold has, locked in his garage. The one he brags about all the time, having spent years restoring it to near mint. The one he never drives or lets anyone else drive, for the matter.

“How'd you get Finch to lend you his car?” Shaw asks, quickly realizing how dumb her question sounds aloud. Especially to Root, who just throws her head back and laughs.

…

The first stop of the list is on the upper east side, to a twenty something story apartment building fitted with a starch press suited doorman and a security guard station, which Shaw deems is more for appearances sake. Armed with walkies, flashlights, and pens for the sign in sheet, they let Root and Shaw breeze right by with their fake ID's and concealed weapons.

It's no surprise when Root hits the “P” for penthouse button in the elevator. She's not exactly the humble type, or one to underplay any sort of small endeavor.

A well dressed blonde woman greets them right off the elevator, shining a permanent smile of all veneer that never lets up even while she speaks. Root gingerly accepts the pamphlet offered, glossing over it as she absently wanders about the main living area, which is two times bigger than Shaw's entire apartment. And white. All white. The carpets, the walls, even the staging furniture. Lord forbid anyone so much as whisper the words red wine or tomato sauce, or in Root's predictable case, blood.

“Seems nice,” Root says while Shaw shuffles alongside like a bored child.

“Then buy it.” The sooner Root signs the deal, the sooner she can get back to her regularly scheduled program of having absolutely nothing to do on her day off.

“The master bath apparently has a built in sauna...” Root gives her a little nudge, “Guess how many settings the smart shower has?”

“Enough to replace me.”

“Not likely,” but then Root lowers the pamphlet in introspect. “Unless I could program it to be mean to me...”

“Ha. Ha.”

“I'm gonna have a look around.”

“And I...” Shaw scans the room, searching for the oasis in this desert of white hell, “...will see you later,” and she branches off towards the refreshment table.

It's probably the best thing about an open house. Well, if you're Shaw and you have no intent on buying anything. The free food. And not just tired old finger sandwiches either. The last time Shaw's seen a spread like this, she was undercover at a political fundraiser for what's his name running for office of who cares.

Shaw sips a bellini from a flute as she grazes the table, helping herself to a little of this and that. At some point she does make threatening eye contact with the foolish person who tried reaching for the last salmon wrap, but all is pleasant and well for the most part. She get's to explore her pallet, Root gets to explore the apartment. A win-win so far in her book.

“God! You wont believe the offer that tacky-khaki couple just proposed.”

Inconspicuously, Shaw glances a little ways to her right. The fake toothed woman who greeted them earlier stands with another, conversing in whispers and hushed voices. Well they'd like to believe no one else can hear them.

“An open house... what was Harriet thinking? Letting anyone waltz in off the street?”

“We'll have to fumigate when this is over.”

“Would you look at all the riff-raff?”

Shaw follows the acrylic red finger nail as it not so discretely flicks across the room. Of all the people scattered about the living area, she decides to pick out Root.

“What do you think her net worth is?”

“If that ugly leather jacket's anything to go by. I saw holes in it.”

“And the hair...

“I like her boots though...”

“So did I- five seasons ago!”

Their annoying laughter eventually fades into the violin music, but Shaw's temper continues on it's high note. In her head, she's already plotted half the steps towards their accidental deaths, because no one – no one – is allowed to talk crap about Root. Except for Shaw, that is.

And under any other circumstance, she'd just go over there and confront the two women with a lesson in manners. Incidentally, fists are a great learning tool for most people.

Oh, but where would that get her? Wanted by the police, probably, if that little car jacking stunt didn't already land a warrant for her arrest. But it would be fun, well fun for Shaw, to give those rent-a-cops downstairs a run for their money.

No, she eventually decides. There are more subtle ways to exact revenge.

She sidles over to the group of young hipsters first, who have gathered by the fire place pretending to admire the brickwork.

“Did one heck of a clean up on this place, huh?” she says, cutting into their conversation at just the right moment.

They turn to her with mixed expressions. “What do you mean?” one of them asks.

Shaw leans in. “Oh, you don't know?” she says in a hushed voice, so secretive and curious, it demands the group's undivided attention. All but one.

The guy with thick rimmed glasses just scoffs at her. “What? Did some dude die here or something?”

“More like dudes. Plural,” Shaw replies and glasses guy stops laughing. “A few months back, this tech company was having their big launch party here. Well, during the party, one of the partners totally loses it and I mean loses it. I heard, it was because the other partners were trying to cut him out... guess he thought he'd beat them to it.” and she unfolds the rest of the scene, in graphic detail with complementary stabbing gestures. To the point, a few of them turn a sickly shade of pale.

But glasses guy, the apparent leader of the pack, needs more convincing.

“Come on! How do you not remember this?” Shaw says, and name drops a famous New York magazine that all the people like them claim to read but never do.

And suddenly, him and the rest of the group are singing a different tune, nodding their heads and collectively muttering things like: Oh yes, I remember that article and Such a tragedy and It's too bad, I heard they were really up and coming...

“Yeah.” Shaw gazes solemnly at the fireplace. “That's where they found the head... threw it like it was a bowling ball.”

Like before, they stare at the fireplace. Albeit, in utter silence and for new and morbid reasons now, but Shaw takes it as her cue to move on.

And move on she does, to the pleasant older couple standing by themselves in the kitchen, which is also bigger than Shaw's apartment as well. They look a bit out of place. Suburban, perhaps midwestern. Shaw isn't sure just yet, but they definitely aren't like the rest of the people who live here.

“Excuse me,” Shaw says, all smile and cheer. “I couldn't help but notice, you two aren't from around here, are you?”

“Oh, heavens no!” The woman replies. Her accent is unmistakably southern and thick as molasses. “We're visiting our daughter. She just graduated from NYU!”

“Edna, you don't gotta tell everyone we meet,” the husband grumbles. “Hell, half of New York City knows by now.”

“No, it's fine,” Shaw politely reassures them. “You two must be very proud. Are you looking to move here as well, or?”

The woman side eyes the man. “Well, I would like to... It'd be nice to live closer to our little girl. Not to mention the broadway... But Richard here's an old stick in the mud.” she leans in to whisper only to Shaw, “He doesn't take to change very well.” The man grumbles again.

“I totally understand. When I first moved here, it took me a while to get acclimated. I mean, the first time I was mugged-”

“You were mugged?” The woman clasps her chest. “Oh, you poor thing!”

“Yeah, well,” she shrugs, “You get used to it. After a dozen times or so it's just like muscle memory. Wallet, phone, jewelry, please don't kill me.” Shaw acts it out like a routine. The grand finale, pulling the bottom of her shirt. “I was stabbed a block away from here, wanna see the scar?”

Their southern manners come to a full stop and they leave without so much as a goodbye or a bless your heart. Filled with a sense of crudely gained accomplishment, Shaw blows the smoke from the imaginary barrel of her imaginary gun and sets her sights on other targets.

One by one, they're taken out. She tells the uptight newly weds the apartment had been used as a movie set for prestigious films such as Gang-Bangs of New York, and One Fuck Over the Cuckhold's Nest, and Forrest Hump.

The leader of the co-op board has a portrait of Hitler hanging in his foyer. The neighbor downstairs is prone to clanging pots and pans at odd hours of the night because the voices tell her to. The walls are coated with so much lead paint, the apartment could double as a fallout shelter from radiation. And the whole building is haunted by failed venture capitalists, Shaw said to another person, and when his back was turned, she flickered the light switches.

And alright, that last one was mediocre at best, she admits. But in her defense, the one too many bellinis were starting to kick in a that point and she was running out of material. Thankfully, Root had come full circle by then, finished with her browsing.

“What do you think?”

“I heard the foundation's crumbling-” Shaw covers her mouth, pushing back the bubbly. “Whole place is gonna level in like a year.”

Root flashes her a look of disbelief, “That's absurd,” and returns to the brochure in hand. “I think it's pretty nice,” she says, and goes on and on about all the nice features and the nice amenities and the nice view.

“You!”

They look up and see the teethy realtor clomping her heels in their direction. “Aw, shit,” Shaw whispers when the woman turns her pointed red nail to her this time.

“Just where the hell do you get off! I lost potential buyers because of you!”

Shaw blinks, unfazed by this woman practically yelling in her face. However, Root's rather confused, bordering the edge of worried.

“What is she talking about?” Root asks, one of her hands sliding to the taser tucked in the back of her pants. Hovering, like she's unsure whether or not it's going to be necessary in the next ten seconds.

“I don't know,” Shaw replies with an innocent shrug at first, until she completely abandons the concept of an inside voice. “Must be all the asbestos in the air!” she shouts and the rest of the room, the few people she hadn't managed to scare off, they all clam up and turn bug eyed in their direction.

For a moment, the realtor panics and her fake smile returns to settle the crowd. “You need to leave!” she says through gritted teeth. “Both of you need to leave, immediately!”

“Way ahead of ya, sister.” Shaw says and calls out over her shoulder, “Wouldn't want to get a stupid thing like lung cancer or anything!” At this point, Root looks like she's going to taser Shaw instead.

“Let's go, Sameen,” she says, perturbed and not in a mild way, judging from grip she has on Shaw's elbow.

And still... “Really, you think they'd shell out a few extra bucks to remove hazardous materials from the walls!” Shaw manages one last time before she's shoved into the elevator.

Root jabs the lobby button and the doors close. She turns to Shaw with a myriad of emotions, some embarrassment, a little confusion, but mostly anger in her eyes. Shaw can feel them boring into the side of her face.

“What?” Shaw eventually shrugs. “Something you wanna say, Root?”

Root crosses her arms, tightly over her chest. “Something you wanna say, Shaw?”

Shaw rolls her eyes to the top of the door, watching the floor numbers fall on the screen for moment before clearing her throat. “Your hair looks nice today.”

…

Miles later in Midtown...

Together, they loiter the sidewalk in front of the next apartment Root might potentially rent, if the realtor ever decides to make an appearance. They've been waiting over a half an hour now.

“What's taking so long?” Shaw asks, again.

“Traffic, probably.” Root shrugs. She doesn't seem to mind the waiting as much as Shaw does. Then again, she doesn't have anywhere else to be. And neither does Shaw, but that's besides the point. Tardiness is just unprofessional.

“Call them.”

“I've already called five times,” Root tells her. “No one's picking up.”

“When?” Shaw asks. She hadn't seen Root touch her phone at all.

Root just taps the shell of the cochlear implant hiding beneath her hair. Oh yes, how could have Shaw forgotten, the ethereal blue tooth connection to robot overlord.

“I still don't understand why the Machine couldn't help you with this,” Shaw says to her. “Seems it'd be a heck of a lot easier. Beep boop beep... an apartment appears.”

Root smirks at her sideways, “You know that's not how it works.”

“Why not? I mean, she can make up elaborate identities for you, reposition satellites in orbit for you-”

“She can also tell me how many times you've watched Eat, Pray, Love... this month.”

Shaw glares to the side of Root's face trying, and failing to keep the amusement all to herself. But she's distracted for a moment, there's a passerby who's taking too long to pass by Harold's car. “Keep moving! So her abilities fall just short of finding her favorite asset a place to live?”

“She wants me to be more...” Root chews the inside of her cheek, “Independent, was the word she used.”

For once, Shaw's in agreement with Root's girlfriend.

“I'm pretty sure this is the exact opposite of what she meant,” Shaw teases. That is unless, the definition of independence changed over night and no one bothered to say anything.

“She also thinks we don't spend enough quality time together,” Root quickly adds, casually with a flip of her hair.

“Yeah, right,” Shaw scoffs at that. She'd like to know what the Machine would have to say about being slandered and used as a pawn for Root's own projections. “We spend lots of time together. Too much if you ask me.”

“Numbers don't count.”

“You come over all the time,” Shaw argues. Root just lets herself right in, with all those keys she's made.

“Sex doesn't count either.”

“Then what- Hey buddy! You wanna lose that hand!” Shaw shouts at a particularly touchy admirer of Harold's car. “What does count?” she finally asks. Really, she wants to know, how she can possibly spread her time thinner than it already is. “Does this count?”

Root thinks about it for a moment. “I'm not sure yet. But I'll let you know.”

“Right.” Shaw shakes her head; Root can be impossible at times. The 'issue' can go on the back burner for now, Shaw decides. They've got to move forward with the day, which is no longer dependent on the no-show realtor.

The front door of the building is locked, go figure, but that doesn't repel Shaw. There's an intercom system right beside it with dozens of names, each having their own call button. Shaw mashes all of them and waits.

In no time does the speaker crackle with static and slews of voices, speaking all at once in a melody of Hello? Who is it? and What the fuck do you want?

“Time Warner Cable,” Shaw says into the box and almost immediately, a buzzer goes off and unlocks the door. Shaw opens it and turns to Root still waiting on the sidewalk. “You coming or what?”

Root leads her upstairs and down the short hallway. “This is the one,” she says, pointing to the lock for Shaw to pick, which she does so effortlessly.

The inside is just as bland as the outside. The walls are coated in a neutral beige color that matches the carpet in all the rooms. A single bedroom, an eat in kitchen, a reasonably sized living area with a few windows and an okay view of the coffee shop all these midtowners mill about. And that's pretty much it. Though, Shaw thinks that was Martha Stewart crossing the intersection.

“I don't hate it,” Root sums up, having toured the entire place in less than a minute.

“But you don't like it either.”

“Eh.” Root shrugs. “It's just hard to picture myself living here, without my things.”

An idea pops into Shaw's head. “Okay, how about...” she thinks aloud and surveys the area. “Your desk can be here, in the living room, since you don't watch TV anyways...” She moves to the kitchen next. “You can put a little cafe table here... coffee pot here... and hey look, extra cabinet space for things that aren't cooking related.”

“I know how to cook, Shaw.”

“Name one time you cooked anything,” Shaw asks, but immediately stops Root the second her mouth opens. “Let me rephrase. Cooked anything that wasn't eventually used as tear gas.”

“Okay, you've got me there,” Root concedes. “Please continue.”

Shaw leads her to the bedroom. “The bed can go here. Nightstand with the lava lamp right next to it. Dresser here. Bean bag- if you still want it, there. The closet's kinda small... you'll have to get rid of a few jackets, but-”

“Wait,” Root interrupts. “Go back to the part about the bed.”

Shaw back tracks a few steps. “The bed goes here and-”

“Right here?” Root asks, edging closer and closer.

And Shaw's so distracted with her fake floor plan, she thinks nothing of it. She doesn't realize Root's been methodically backing her into the wall until her back actually hits the wall.

“And, what do you imagine we'd be doing on this bed, Sameen?” Her voice drops an octave in Shaw's ear, tingling like those fingertips skirting the inside hem of her jeans.

“I can think of a few things...” Shaw whispers, tracing the heat radiating from Root's lips inches away from her own. “On this bed, and then, that bureau over there.”

Root flashes a grin and presses it to Shaw's, briefly though. The kiss was only a ruse to take Shaw's lip between her teeth and tease some more before letting go. “I want you to know...” Root sighs as her hands circle around Shaw's wrists, “I'm really sorry about this.”

What that means? Shaw doesn't know. She barely had time to process anything Root said, because as soon as Root said it, she was spun around and pinned to wall with her arms locked behind her back.

“Whatthafuck!”

“Just go with it sweetie,” Root tells her, and not a second later do they hear footsteps coming down the hall and a man's voice calling out shakily. “Hello? Is someone there?”

He double takes when he sees them, his face conveying a look of surprise and slight fear for his life. “What's going on here? Who are you?”

“Special Agent Augusta King,” Root announces. As swiftly as she got the jump on Shaw, her free hands whips out a black leather bound badge that says FBI. “We received an anonymous tip about a wanted criminal hiding out in the building.”

“Here? In this building?” the man stutters in shock.

“Are you the tipper, sir?” Root asks, meanwhile, zip tying Shaw's wrists together for the bonus effect. So tight, Shaw thinks she's actually in trouble with the federal government.

“No, I live next door, I was just going-”

“So you heard suspicious activity from the vacant apartment right next to you and didn't think to report it?” Root says, catching him off guard. “Sir, are you aware that harboring a fugitive of the law is a felony offense?”

Shaw grumbles, “Like impersonating a-”

Root silences her with a good shove.

“Woah, wait a minute,” the man backs away, hands up in defense. “I had no idea she was- I wouldn't harbor anything!”

“You'll be hearing from my offices.” Root begins escorting Shaw out into the hallway, pausing to glare at the man as she passes. “Don't leave town.”

By the time they exit the front door, Shaw is more than done with the whole charade. Immediately, she shirks out of Roots grip, fuming slightly as she strains for the folding knife in her back pocket. “I can't believe you- no wait, I can!” The zip tie snaps free after a bit of sawing.

“I'm not the one who left the door wide open.”

The few choice words bubbling in the back of Shaw's throat, simmer down. Root's right. She did leave the door open. Like some kind of fucking amateur. She rubs her sore wrists, bitter. “What are you still doing with that thing anyway?”

“I don't know.” Root jogs the badge in her hands. “It does come in handy though.”

Shaw shakes her head. From the corner of her eyes, she notices a suspicious group of hoodlums beginning to circle Harold's car like vultures on a carcass.

“Gimme that!” Shaw snatches the goddamn badge out of Root's hands and flips it out with an, “FBI! Freeze!” The little bastards bolt in all directions, and Shaw hums to herself. “How come I never got one of these?”

…

Later and lower on the east side...

Jerri, a fast talking woman from Queens who looks like Fusco's sister, hustles them up the stairs of a run down walk up. The bellinis Shaw guzzled earlier threaten to make a second appearance as they round the landing of floor number six. More so when she sidesteps a ragged baby doll lying in a questionable pool of something awful slicked on the floor.

“Not much further,” the woman tells them. “Just a few more floors!”

“She said that- three floors ago!” Shaw huffs in tow.

“Try to keep up, Shaw,” Root says, jogging the steps with ease, at a steady rhythm that's utterly baffling. Considering Shaw's never seen her so physically active at something that didn't involve

“Coming...” Shaw grumbles and picks up the pace. She reaches the top floor well behind them, out of breath. “I gotta start working out again.”

Jerri pulls out a ring of keys bigger than a steering wheel and starts sifting through them. “It's gotta be one of these,” she says and tries a few but to no avail. “Doh!” she smacks her forehead. “Silly me, we went too high! It's two floors down!”

Shaw deadpans. “Are you fu-” Root jabs her with an elbow, “Funny! Aren't you just funny!”

“Down we go!” Jerri cheers, waving at them to follow her once again. Shaw wouldn't follow this woman if she were the most relevant number of her career. But Root insists, so she has no choice but trudge back down the stairs.

The door, the right one this time, it looks like it was breached with a battering ram and glued back together. It sticks as Jerri tries to push it open. Shaw wishes she hadn't been able to unjar it from the frame, when they finally step foot inside.

Cramped is an understatement. Claustrophobia is an increasing possibility for Shaw as they stand shoulder to shoulder in what the realtor calls a studio apartment. More like a closet.

“Why don't I give you the grand tour!” Jerri says.

Shaw turns her head left, then right, then back again. “I think I've just had it.”

“Oh, she's hysterical! Does she do stand up?”

“Only when she can't sit down.” Shaw wriggles free of the pair for more space, but doesn't get much. The square footage of this place barely pushes the three digit realm.

The detail Jerri goes into as she tries to upsell this apartment gives Shaw the idea, she's either the most optimistic woman in the world or the biggest hustler in New York real estate. And if it's the latter, Root's the most patient mark, letting this con artist finish her entire spiel of blatant lies.

“Look Root, I'm in the living room, kitchen, and bathroom. At the same time.”

“I think what my friend is trying to say-”

“Her friend...” Shaw interrupts, until she realizes that Root didn't actually put the word girl in front of friend first. For once. “Never mind, carry on.”

“There just isn't a lot of space,” Root puts delicately.

“Space? There's plenty of space!” Jerri fires back, jazzed and sorts. “What this place lacks in size, it makes for in compartmentalization!” and she goes on to show them, the hidden cabinets in the in the walls, the drawers underneath the diagonal slant in the staircase frame. “And!” she claps her hands together before grabbing the the lonely painting from the wide wall. Underneath is a latch like rope, which she pulls. “Tada!”

A bed flops out of the wall and Shaw stares at it, unblinkingly. “You've got to be kidding me.”

“May we have a moment please?” Root says, and Jerri the realtor goes into the kitchen, two feet away.

Shaw whispers to Root. “This whole thing is one bad pullout joke. You can't actually be serious.”

“So what?” Root replies. “It's not like I'll be around to mind it so much.”

“Well, I mind it!”

Root smiles as she bats her lashes. “Planning sleepovers already?”

“Not if I have to unhinge the bed every time I wanna-”

“Want to what, exactly?” Root teases, for a moment, until Shaw's dead serious face hits home. “Okay, okay.” She clears her throat for Jerri to end her fake phone call. “Do you have anything else available?”

“Preferably not coffin-sized,” Shaw adds.

It's like a light bulb flickers over Jerri's head. She frantically searches through the mess of sordid papers in her haphazardly thrown together briefcase until she finds the one. The holy grail of documents, she holds it up. “Yes!” she exclaims at first, then presses it to her chest, distraught. “No, I don't! Technically, the application's still pending and I can't show you.”

“Come on, Jerri,” Root says, putting on half her charm. “We just wanna look. Where's the harm in that?”

She gives it some thought. Not much. “Oh, what the heck? You've convinced me. It's only three floors down, come on, I'll show you.”

“Let's hope she's got the right building at least,” Shaw says and Jerri bursts in laughter.

“Honey, if your job doesn't involve a stage and microphone, you gotta change careers because you are-”

“Hysterical?”

…

The other apartment is nothing like the previous. It's as if they've slipped into an alternate universe on the stairwell, because there's no possible way this is the same building. Root's in awe the moment she walks in, her eyes lighting up in a way Shaw's never seen before, well, when it comes to this sort of thing.

Crown molding lines the walls, coated in a scheme of rich blues soft whites. The long paneled windows that stretch from the living room all the way to the kitchen fill the spacious interior with honest light. And the view, Shaw's never considered Midtown to be a scenic place. Then again, she wasn't looking through this window.

“You've been holding out on us, Jerri,” Shaw tells her. For the first time today, she approves.

“About that other application,” Root says, “What if you accidentally misplaced it?”

“Say no more, sweetheart.” Jerri bats a hand. “My family's from Sicily. I know all about that sort of thing. We'll go to my office, lose some paperwork, sign some paperwork, have ya in here in no time,” she says, and starts ushering them towards the door. Quickly, adamantly. Suspiciously.

“Wait,” Shaw says. There's something missing, something she's not telling them. “What's the catch?”

“Catch? What catch? You two look like a nice couple, I wanna cut you a break, that's the catch.”

“We're not-” Shaw rubs the bridge of her nose. “Look, no offense, but this is all too good to be true.” There's got to be something wrong with it, Shaw can feel it in her bones. Shit plumbing, rats in the walls, a weird smell that only comes around during certain times of the day. Something.

“Listen, I got pristine records going back thirty years on this place. You can take a look for yourselves, but we gotta go down to my office fir-”

“Shh!” Shaw holds a finger up, silencing the room. “Did you hear that?” Her ears keen to the faint, muffled noises. “It's coming from the living room.”

“Yeah, you know what,” Jerri hastily explains in Shaw's wake. “I know what that is. The neighbors are redoing their kitchen. On a Saturday, can you believe it?”

Shaw ignores her and presses her ear to the wall, listening for the noise that seems to have gone away now.

“See? What'd I tell ya? Now if you don't mind, I-”

There's a loud crash suddenly. Something had smacked against the other side of the wall with such force, it rattled the hanging lights and shook the floor.

Shaw slowly backs away as more, lesser thumps follow. Steadily, like a beat from a drum. And not seconds later, the moaning starts. Unmistakably from a man and oddly, a very strict sounding woman who seems rather disappointed in him.

“And...” Shaw turns to Root with her I told you so face. “there's the catch.”

“Rent controlled nymphos...” Jerri hisses and then smacks the wall, “Hey! Some of us are trying to work over here! Not that you care! Can't go one minute without screwing each other's brains out! Literally!”

“Are they?” Curiosity in her eyes, Root steps closer to have a listen for herself, and it's completely unnecessary. With walls so thin and neighbors so loud, she could stand in any room and still hear all the graphic details of their sexcapades. So it's really a bit extra of Root to flatten the whole side of her face against the wall like that. “Oh, Jerri, you have been holding out on us.”

Shaw rolls her eyes, “Come on, we're leaving,” and takes Root by the arm.

“No, Shaw wait! It's getting better!” Root protests as she's literally dragged to the door. “Shaw, I heard a paddle!”

….

The end in East Village.

“I don't think I've ever heard the word charming used to describe so many not charming things in my life,” Shaw says. She fiddles with the butter knife at the table while she waits for her order. They decided- well, Shaw insisted they stop for a late lunch, and the Russian owned deli on 7th was the closest eatery that wasn't a letter grade away from being quarantined. “How is a giant water stain on the ceiling charming?”

“Depends on how you look at it,” Root replies, her head in the piece of paper lain on the table top. She's been scribbling on it since they sat down. The list from earlier today looks nothing like it did, crumpled up, torn at the edges and for some reason, wet. Nearly all of the address had been crossed out, angrily by the look of it.

Shaw twirls the utensil in her fingers. “I thought it looked like Margaret Thatcher.”

“I'm not getting sucked into this argument again.” Root draws another x over something and brings the pen to her lips, chewing at the end. “It was Barbara Bush anyway...”

Shaw snatches the paper from Root's unsuspecting hands.

“Hey I need that,” Root says. Her attempts of retrieving it are all in vain. “Shaw, I still haven't decided which one I- where did you get those glasses?”

“Glove box,” Shaw replies, lifting the shades from her eyes to squint at the paper. “Didn't think I could get a hangover before I fell asleep.”

“Can I have it back, please? It's important.”

Shaw throws the glasses aside. “Root, these are all crap. You know this.”

“But I need to pick one.”

“Seriously, have you never gone apartment shopping before?” Shaw asks. Judging from the look on Root's face, she hasn't. “Root. Just make a new list.”

She sinks into the booth, whining pitifully. “But I hate this so much, Shaw. Can't I just live with you? Please?”

Root smiles, full charm this time. And Shaw jumps when she feels something crawling up the length of her thigh. Luckily the waiter comes with the food, so Shaw has a valid excuse for evicting Root's foot from her crotch.

“Independence.” Shaw reminds her before grabbing the sandwich off of the plate. She's about to take a bite, but pauses midway. An odd feeling had struck her, a feeling like she's being watched and not by a secret system.

Leaned against the wall, slumped in her seat, is Root, staring at Shaw's sandwich with a weird lust in her eyes. If she was hungry, then she should have ordered something. So tough, Shaw thinks, bringing the sandwich to mouth again and goddamnit!

Shaw cuts the fucking thing in half and slides the plate across the table. Root smiles to herself and takes a nibble and then just- chomps down. Shaw can't believe what shes seeing right now.

“This is the best sandwich I've ever had,” Root says, at least that's what Shaw thinks she says. Root's mouth is so full, and yet, she keeps trying to fill it.

“As a person who's had a lot of sandwiches, I-”

“Shut up and eat it, Shaw!”

Without further protest, Shaw takes a bite. Her eyes roll into the back of her head. “Oh my fucking god.” It is the best sandwich she's ever had. Why is Root right all the time?

“So, tomorrow...” Root manages to swallow the rest without choking. “New day, new list, perhaps a new car even? I heard Harry's got a viper tucked away in cold storage.”

Shaw chews on it. As fun as it was gallivanting around this charming city with Root... she'll have to pass. “Sorry, you're on your own for round two. I'm busy.”

“I checked. You're not.”

What is this? Slow season for criminal activity? “I'm taking a personal day.”

“Fine,” Root says, dabbing with the napkin before it's surly tossed aside. “I'll be wandering Hell's Kitchen tomorrow if you change your mind.”

“Okay, Root.” Shaw snorts, almost choking on her food. “Give your taser a good charge before you do.” She'll definitely need it for that side of town- if she were actually going.

Shaw's not stupid, she recognized the pattern as soon as she saw the list. All the stops they've made so far today were along the 4 train, which lets off near Subway HQ and coincidentally, right by Shaw's apartment.

They step outside the deli and Shaw gives the place a nod as she slips the glasses back on. The sign is in Russian, and unfortunately, none of it involves the ten words she knows. “Goodbye restaurant I don't know the name of.”

“Actually,” Root says, glancing up at the sign. “It think it says sandwich, well, bread meat bread, but you get the picture.”

“Hmm.” Shaw shrugs. She's halfway to the car, that better not be stolen, when she notices Root isn't behind her. Doubling back, Shaw finds her standing at the deli's window, staring at a sign that says For Rent – Inquire Within.

…

They inquire within.

The owner of the deli; a burly, grey bearded and rather abrasive gentleman named Vlad, throws his dirty apron over his shoulder and yells something wild in Russian to the cooks behind the counter.

“Come! We go!” he then yells to Root and Shaw, and leads them out and around the building, through several locked doors and up a rickety old freight elevator, all while cursing in his native tongue. And Shaw's sure of this because most of those words he's using, are the same ones she's used to start bar fights overseas.

“You go, I wait,” Vlad says, and shoos them off the elevator.

It's was an industrious space converted to a loft by the previous owners. The concrete floors were replaced with dark hard wood for a more domestic feel, but the steel pillars remained. Carved out to one side, the obvious kitchen accustomed with marble counter tops, a range, and a classic style refrigerator. And in the far corner, the porcelain bathroom with the large clawfoot tub, partitioned by a wall of glass blocks.

Root turns circles, marveling the expanse of open floor plan. “I have no words, Shaw.”

“I'm shocked,” Shaw replies, but it has nothing to do with this rare real estate gem they've stumbled upon by sheer luck. Root's non-stop motormouth has suddenly run out of fuel and hell has actually frozen over.

But in the weird trend of today's events, Shaw checks and double checks everything. That the light switches turn on and the water runs from the faucets. She test the sturdiness of the steel beams and the thickness of the walls. She stomps around in her steel toed boots for weak spots in the floor. In the end, everything seems to be in working order. The radiator is blasting heat, the toilet is flushing, and yes, the refrigerator is also running.

The second Shaw mentions roof access, Root's falling over to make a deal.

Vlad may be limited in English, but he understands the universal language of money and the giant wad of cash Root suddenly pulls out of her pocket. He shoves a set of keys in her hand and goes off on Russian tangent as he counts the money.

“He says...” Root pauses to listen. “No checks, no cards, rent is cash only...”

“How the fuck do you know that?”

“I did some work for the Russian mob- long story,” Root tells her before she's back to translating. “I'm supposed to put the money in an envelope and slip under his door... on the first of the month, not the second, or... well that doesn't sound very pleasant.”

Shaw's eyes widen some. She tries to ask what the she means by that, but Root shushes her with a raised finger.

“There is one rule... don't bother me. If you do not bother me, I will not bother you and everything will be... cookies and cream?”

“What does that mean?”

“Sorry, I'm a bit rusty.” Root tunes back in, nodding profusely at the last part before he shakes her hand and leaves.

“What did he just say to you?”

Root turns to her. “He said, My name is Vladimir Baronov Petrovich, and I fix nothing.”

…

A week later...

Shaw picks up a bottle of wine on the way to Root's. A house warming gift of sorts, or a present depending on how you look at it, though Shaw prefers it as a celebration of mission completion and good things yet to come.

The days of Root living out of satchels and crashing on couches are finally over, and for some reason, Shaw takes comfort in that. It means things are changing, for the better, she believes. Having a safe, permanent place to lay your head, it means something.

Shaw can hear the faint music playing as she lifts the elevator gate. She expects Root sprung for a decent sound system, something to listen to while she cranes her neck over a computer for hours on end. And maybe she found a nice desk and a comfortable chair like Harold's to sit in while she does, Shaw wonders, as she rounds the corner, quietly.

Sneaking up on Root is a hit or miss, depending on the Machine's mood. But Shaw hopes she gets to catch Root doing something weird for once, even though she has no idea what that might entail.

Root's barefoot, sitting cross legged on the floor with a soldering iron, humming to herself. And Shaw thinks it's actually kind of cute- maybe, at least until she finds a better word for it. Which is never. The feeling becomes short lived, the nameless word is moot when she realizes why Root's sitting on the floor.

She has no goddamn furniture.

“Love what you haven't done with the place,” Shaw calls out, announcing her presence to Root, who flinches and then smiles bashfully to the wires in her lap. As it turns out, the Machine was in Shaw's favor this evening. It's a rare occurrence to find Root so off guard, with her hair pulled into a loose bun, with little smudges of soot on her shirt and holes in her blue jeans.

Her walk is still the same, smug saunter as it always is though. Root lets her hair down as she approaches, on purpose Shaw thinks.

“Welcome. May I take your coat?” Root offers, and Shaw does a bit of casing as she slips her arms free of the sleeves.

It was inaccurate to say Root didn't have any furniture; there's a mattress lying in the middle of the floor beside a steel column. Root had thrown some sheets and pillows on top and called it a bed. Next to that, her other Root things. A laptop, a bag, a few articles of clothing and a cell phone playing the music Shaw had heard earlier.

“Is that for me?” Root asks, nodding to the bottle of wine in Shaw's hand.

“Yeah, but uh,” Shaw rubs the back of her neck, glancing again at the great empty space. “I feel like I should have brought a plant or something, or a chair.”

“Busy week,” she says, internally debating where to hang Shaw's jacket, for a moment, until deciding to just throw it on the floor. “Haven't been home much lately-” and then Root laughs, lightly to herself. “It's strange isn't it?”

“What is?” Shaw asks, halfway to the kitchen for a pair of drinking glasses before she realizes, Root probably doesn't have any of those either.

“This place, my place... It is supposed to feel this weird?”

“Don't worry, the charm wears off pretty quick. Eventually, it'll be just another Tuesday night where you store all your things.” Shaw flops down on the edge of the mattress. “Correction, thing.”

“Awfully presumptuous of you.” Root teases.

“Awfully rude of you, not owning a couch.” There are worse problems than not having a proper place to sit. “I'd guess you don't have cork screw either, or is that me being presumptuous again?”

Grinning, Root ambles to the spot next to Shaw on the mattress. “You'll have to use your imagination, sorry. I didn't think you'd bring anything fancy.”

The label is the only fancy thing about this wine, an Italian sounding word, Shaw thinks it means something like hat. The price tag said twelve, but she got it for six.

Shaw flicks open her pocket knife and stabs it into the cork with a twisting motion.

Root leans back and lounges on her elbows. “I did buy something yesterday, now that I think about it.”

“What?” Shaw asks, straining with the knife and the cork that wont budge.

Root nods. “That.” and Shaw looks in the direction. Hanging on the opposite pillar is a crudely sketched portrait. Of Shaw.

“Um, where did you get that?”

“From the man in the park,” Root replies, like it's supposed to mean something to Shaw. “Fun fact, he used to be police sketch artist until he injured his hand in a tragic trout-fisting accident. Anyways, if you pay him twenty dollars, he'll draw anyone you describe.”

Thankfully, Shaw gets the bottle open by then. The horrible taste of it helps her forget she ever heard the words trout-fisting back to back. “Hope you like cork in your fancy wine,” Shaw says and passes it on. “My eyebrows are off, by the way.”

“Hmm...” Root cocks her head the side, “I still like it.” She takes a swig from the bottle and grimaces almost instantly.

“You know, you don't have to drink it,” Shaw says, laughing at the sour look on Root's face from the cheap wine. She has to run to the kitchen sink to wash her mouth out, it's so bad.

“Wanna see something cool?” Root asks when she returns and Shaw throws her a wary look. The last time Root tried to show her something cool, she ended up with stitches.

“Do you have a first aid kit?”

“No?”

“Then no.”

“Just close your eyes,” Root insists. “Please..”

“Fine.” and Shaw covers her eyes, however, she checks for any sharp objects in Root's hands and in the immediate vicinity first. Patiently, she waits on the bed, listening to Root as she scampers around in her bare feet, for a moment until there's a loud click and the main lights go off.

Shaw opens her eyes... winding up the steel columns and along the rafters high above the bed, Root's hung strings of lights. Of all shapes, sizes and colors, they're arranged in way that makes Shaw feel like she's sitting inside a Christmas tree.

“So this is what you've been doing?” Shaw smirks to herself. The order of Root's priorities are a mystery to her.

“Livens the place up,” Root says, looking up with a kind of awe in her eyes, or maybe it's the light glowing from the red bulbs.

Root joins her on the bed again. Their legs hang off the edge, their feet occasionally running into each other.

Shaw takes another swig of the wine, biting at the taste. “So um, does this count?” she asks, and when Root turns to her mixed, she has to awkwardly clarify. “Is this part of that quality the Machine says we don't have enough of?”

Root says nothing, she just grins.

“Why not?” Shaw goes on the defense. She showed up, she brought the wine, she looked at the pretty lights and they're talking. If that isn't quality time, then what is? “I really think you should reevaluate-” and suddenly, Shaw is rendered speechless by Root, who grabs her face and kisses her.

“That's why,” Root says, giving Shaw a quick peck on the lips before pushing her down on the bed and climbing on top.

And Shaw doesn't protest either, when Root starts unbuckling her belt, she's beginning to think this may fall under another made up category in Root's head. Something along the lines of fun time.

“But if your so worried about it, Sameen,” she says, leaning in as she pins Shaw's wrists above her head, “You can come by tomorrow. I'm going to Ikea.”

#shootsecretsanta2018 #shootsecretsanta #shoot #person of interest #lizburns

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princessamericachavez · 6 years

Text

It goes like this

Jester doesn’t want to think sad things right now, she’s endured enough pain as it is, but she’s fine now, she’s fine really, and there’s no point in talking about the sad stuff anyway.

She focuses on the good things, like Nott and Beau and Caleb and Fjord (but that one’s trickier because she can’t look at him without remembering the fear she felt, the fear in his eye when he looked back at her)

and Caduceus who’s discovering the world even more than she is.

The morning after meeting with the Gentleman they decide to go to the bath house.

Jester tries not to feel sad thinking about Molly. Molly wanted them to be happy, so she’s going to be happy.

Fjord has been serious lately, though, even more than before, so once they are in the bath she approaches him, a little more than normal just to see him blush.

“Hey Fjord,” she says. “Are you okay?”

“Uh- yeah. I’m- uh. Yeah. Just, you’re-”

“No, I mean. After everything. We never really... talked, you know? Are you okay.”

The blush disappears from Fjord’s cheeks as quickly as it appeared. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Jester narrows her eyes at him, suspecting he’s lying. “...Fjord.”

“Really! I am. I’m just- I’m angry. I’m angry this happened, but there’s nothing to do about that. I think- I’m gonna be alright.”

She nods, content.

“You?” Fjord adds, and there’s something that changes in his eyes, like he just remembered something.

“Oh, totally, I’m good. Totally. Why wouldn’t I be? Everything is good now.”

There’s something in Fjord’s face that resembles disappointment. To counter it, she stands up and walks out of the bath, giving him a good look at her exposed skin as she does. The blush returns. That’s better.

Jester doesn’t sleep much at night. The tiniest sound makes her jump, she looks at the dark, expecting a bald and tattooed figure to appear out of nowhere.

You’re okay. you’re okay. You’re okay.

The Traveler doesn’t answer to her prayers.

Caleb invites her to run errands with him that afternoon: he wants to go back to the smut book shop and the bakery.

Jester says no. She has other things to do.

Nott asks whether she’s going with her and Fjord to Pumat’s.

She shakes her head. She doesn’t think Pumat has the diamonds she needs. She’ll go find those elsewhere.

Beau asks if Jester wants company, but she insists that Beau had other things to do and that Jester is the cleric and she can handle this on her own. Fjord wanted to go to Pumat’s too and Caduceus should taste the pastries.

“If you wanna bring me some bearclaws that would be super cool, though,” she adds smiling at Caleb, who smiles back thinly and adds nothing.

She buys 600 gp worth of diamonds. Two revivals doesn’t seem like enough, but if she goes for 900 she’ll run out of money and she said she’d be careful about money like Caleb taught her. 600 will do. Hopefully.

She sits on a bench on her way to the inn, looking at the bags of diamonds in her hands. She opens them carefully to peek inside and feels her eyes well with tears. She can’t use them for Molly anymore. She should have done this before.

She cries for good long while, and returns to her friends with a fresh face and a wide smile.

“No sketches tonight?” Beau asks as they go to bed the fourth night.

“I didn’t see anything funny enough today,” Jester shrugs. “I’ll wait to see what I can find tomorrow.”

Beau frowns but makes no comment.

Jester curls in bed and thinks of the last thing she wrote in her sketch book. There’s still no answer.

The fifth day Frumpkin climbs onto her lap without a warning and, after an initial whelp —all of her alarms going off with the sudden movement— she looks up at Caleb.

“You brought him back!”

“Ja,” Caleb smiles. “I thought he’d want to hang out with you for a while. He missed you a lot.”

“Oh! Oh, I missed him too! So much!” Jester coos, petting the cat and feeling him purr against her ribs.

She smiles and blinks back tears.

She’s okay. She’s okay. She’s okay.

Jester still can’t sleep. She’s afraid to close her eyes.

She is quiet as she gets dressed and leaves a note on her bed so that Beau won’t worry if she wakes up and finds her missing.

(The monk has been very watchful lately, afraid to lose anyone else)

When she opens the door of her room at the pillowtrove for an instant she hopes to find the Traveler as she did before in the hallway, but there’s nothing.

Swallowing back disappointment, she goes downstairs to the tavern and find’s Fjord sitting alone on a table. He jolts when she approaches him, the same way she’s been jumpy in bed all week.

“Hi.”

“Hi. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither,” Jester sighs, sitting next to him.

She asks for a glass of milk and eyes Fjord’s drink, wonders how many he’s had. Several, apparently, by the way he sways and his accent slips as he turns to her and asks:

“Are you really okay, Jester? Because- I don’t know. I feel like maybe... maybe I thought you were, but I was wrong.”

“What?! No! No. No, I’m fine. I’m totally fine. I just- I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of so many funny things,” she rambles quickly, afraid that she might have slipped around him. “I’m good, really.”

Fjord frowns at her, then down at his drink.

“What’ that thing you sang? In the dungeon. I think... I heard you singing.”

“Oh,” Jester’s voice is small and quiet. “That was.. it was a song my mom used to sing to me when I was little. When I was afraid of the dark. I thought- I thought maybe it’d help. There. You know?”

“It did,” Fjord says, looking at her. “You were very brave.”

Jester smiles at him, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

She can’t tell him.

He thinks she’s brave.

She can’t tell him.

“I’m gonna try to sleep,” she says, downing her glass. “You should try too, Fjord.”

They are going to the Menagerie Coast.

This is good. Jester knows it’s good.

She misses the sea, and she misses her home, and she misses her mom.

Also they really really really need to figure out what’s up with the thing that Fjord had inside his belly and who wants it and why.

The travel, though, it’s hell.

She needs to take watch.

Someone has too.

Some times she does.

No matter if she’s talking with Nott or Beau or Caleb, she always feels on edge, jumpy, waiting for things to go wrong again any second. Why wouldn’t they?

She takes no watches with Fjord. It’s too similar to that night. She can’t

Yasha catches up to them on the road.

Jester smiles and hugs her and tries to cheer her up, but happiness doesn’t reach the barbarian’s eyes.

It terrifies Jester. The pain the woman radiates. It’s too familiar.

She tries harder than ever, she smiles and laughs all the time.

She feels her heart break.

She’s okay.

She’s not fooling them anymore. She’s smart enough to know that.

She sees worry in Nott’s eyes.

She feels Beau sleeping closer to her at night.

She notices how Caleb distracts her with small talk.

She catches Fjord staring at her with distant sadness.

So she stays with Yasha, who doesn’t ask any question and lets Jester be silly and cute and smiles a little in return.

Jester is not okay.

She’s really not alright.

A bunch of rocks fall off the ceiling of the cave they are exploring and cut her off from her friends.

She’s alone in the dark again.

She hears them far away.

They could need her and she’s not there.

She’s trapped. She’s alone. She’s helpless no matter how much she tries.

She screams and cries and hears them calling for her, assuring her they’ll get her out soon.

Jester sobs and talks to the Traveler and begs him for help.

A warm presence envelopes her like a hug. She feels a kiss to the back of her head.

You’ve never been alone, my child.

Fjord is the first one through the landslide. He kneels before her and tries to shake her back to her senses as she cries, then hugs her tightly.

Jester cries her soul out in his shoulders.

“You don’t have to be alright,” Fjord whispers. “It’s okay. We’ve got you. It’s okay.”

Jester is not okay.

But that’s fine.

She’s going to be alright.

#jester lavorre #fjord #caleb widogast #beauregard #nott the brave #caduceus clay #critical role #cr spoilers #fjorester #sofia's nonsense #cr fanfic #idek guys i'm emotional #long post

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flydotnet · 5 years

Text

Impromptu Nursing

VRAINS Rarepair Weeks 2018-2019 - Day 12: Pets/Sickfic

Summary: Kiku and Takeru have planned on seeing each other after weeks and months of not doing so because of the distance. There is, however, kind of a knack with it: he doesn't show up at their meeting point. Instead, she goes to his place and decides that he needs to be taken care of instead of apologizing to her.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS Ships: Entrustshipping (Takeru/Kiku)

Wordcount: 1.9K words

Notes: Justice for Shoichi, the best wingman ever. YOOOOOO BEST PROMPT IS HERE You gotta have to thank Michevalier for the sudden Entrust inspiration. I'm writing almost the opposite as she does (with my floof and all), so make sure to check her fic too, xoxo, Fly. It's very fluffy for once, considering I slapped a thing from a Cardcaptor Sakura special manga chapter on there for good measure.

Event hosted by @vrainsrarepairweeks

AO3 version available here.

Winter break’s cold winds blows through Den City as Kiku steps down from her train. Still very little used to the city’s busier atmosphere compared to her countryside hometown, she made sure to plan where she had to meet up with Takeru: a park downtown, in front of a hotdog truck named Café Nagi. He also accompanied the explanation with a picture of some of his friends from the city: on it, Takeru was smiling, arm wrapped around the shoulder of a blue-haired boy around their age named Yusaku. Right behind them was an older, purple-haired man named Kusanagi who couldn’t be that much older than them.

Takeru has almost insisted for her to meet them and not just with him. He has told her countless stories about them, how they had all met. His eyes were shimmering whenever he talked about Aoi’s exploits, how they saved Miyu, how Yusaku was a great friend to have, how Kusanagi’s advice was either fantastic or hilariously terrible, and then there was this little guy in his Duel Disk that’d say something witty and she’d giggle. He was so excited for it, how could she not be as excited herself?

And then it turns out he wasn’t at their meeting point.

She does see Yusaku eating a hotdog and Kusanagi asking what she wants to get for herself, but there is no Takeru to be seen. She has to apologize: she’s sorry, she isn’t here to order anything. At first, the man looks confused, and she wonders if she hasn’t stumbled upon very coincidental identical people. That would be very unfortunate, because she’d have bothered people who have nothing to do with whomever she is searching for. Soon after, however, he remembers what Takeru has told him and greets her with a great smile.

“Oh, you’re Takeru’s childhood friend, ain’t ya? Sorry to tell ya this, but he isn’t here today!”

The astonishment is full on her part.

“Ex… Excuse me?”

“Yeah, he just… didn’t come here, for some reason… He isn’t responding to neither Yusaku or me.”

“Oh, I see…”

Kusanagi seems down from having to tell her this as her mind starts racing. If Takeru isn’t here, it may be because he’s slipping back into his shut-un lifestyle, and she doesn’t want that to happen again. This is bad…

She’s starting to panic when the hotdog seller’s voice breaks her away from her thoughts and brings her back to reality.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea! Why don’t you go pay him a visit? I’m sure he’d be very happy to see ya!”

“Ah, I’d love to, but I don’t know where Takeru lives here. He hasn’t given me his address…”

“That’s nothing! Gimme two sec’, I’m gonna grab ya a piece of paper and write it there, you can use your phone’s GPS to get there! Don’t forget to give us some news when you’ll be there, okay?”

Kusanagi doesn’t fail to deliver. Barely minutes later, she’s back on her feet, phone in one and the piece of paper in the other in case her map app bugs on her and she has to input the address again. What a resourceful man… She can perfectly see why Takeru was so happy to introduce him to her. Yusaku didn’t say much, but his little thumb-up to her was very charming to see anyway. They do seem like very nice people, she’s glad Takeru is their friend, that he can count on them when he’d be otherwise isolated in a busy, bustling city. It means he has people to rely on whenever he needs help.

On the other hand, Kiku feels a great deal of anxiety when she notices Takeru still isn’t responding to her text messages. She has attempted to call him several times since arriving in Den City, sometimes even if just to ask where to go (and have an excuse to hear his voice yet again, goodness she loves hearing his voice so much), but he has never picked up either. At first, she thought he was busy with his friends at the café, and considering how forgetful he was, it was totally plausible. However, knowing he wasn’t there and has never been, she felt shivers going down her spine. It sounds like an ominous recipe for disaster, if you ask her.

She clutches her phone in her hands whenever she isn’t looking at map instructions, hoping it’s just because he’s too busy and is late, but the worried glance Yusaku and Kusanagi exchanged earlier didn’t indicate it was any better than that. Maybe he’ll call her back or respond to her message, so she keeps the vibrator turned on.

Please be alright, Takeru, she often finds herself whispering under her breath as to feel less alone.

After feels like too much time spent in unknown streets, she finally finds the apartment complex where Takeru lives. Her phone not being able to track his exact position down, she instead relies on instincts and following number logic. His mailbox seems to indicate a floor and a flat number: that hads to be where she’s headed. Even climbing the stairs, as the elevator is broken and out of commission as a result, doesn’t feel like a chore and more like a time loss. She senses that something’s wrong, a feeling that is fogging her mind to the point all she can think about is reaching his flat and know what was wrong. Once facing the door, which she almost misses because her attention has been hindered, her hit isn’t a miss: his name is indeed on the small nameplate next to the door and right over the ringbill.

There is no immediate response, and she’s very much tempted to ring again, until the door opens and she gets faced by her precious Takeru and his… sickly appearance, to say the least.

She has known him for long enough to know it when his skin is paler, and even then, it’s obvious enough for anyone to see it. A thick red hue covers his otherwise cadaveric face, his glasses are covered in fog (she’s surprised he’s even wearing those…) and there are deep dark rings under his eyes. Sweat is pearling down his temples and his half-opened pyjama top can only mean he’s feeling very hot in early spring.

“Ah, h-hi, Kiku…” he exhales as he realizes it’s her, a tiny smile appearing on his face.

“Takeru, are you okay?” she immediately asks, not waiting for any answer. “You look terrible!”

He looks on the side, embarrassed, and coughs in his elbow.

“C’mon in… Sorry, I slept through my alarm and…”

“It’s all fine, don’t worry, let’s get you to bed again,” she puts her hands on his shoulders and tries to get him to his room by relying on her instincts alone, but in the end, he still indicates her where to go. The flat itself is small, truly sized for one person, so it doesn’t take her more than a few coughs from him too much to find the bedroom.

Once she has made sure Takeru was back in bed and propped against pillows, she noticed a little red creature rising from his Duel Disk. It soon disappears back into it, however, and she is left wondering if it was her or it was real. Oh well, it’s not important.

“Have you eaten something yet?” she asks as she mentally makes a list of what she could have to be going out to buy.

“Well, not really, I just got out of bed… And Flame can’t make breakfast…”

Oh, so this was probably the little guy inside his Duel Disk! Takeru has described Flame as before!

“I’ll make you something with what you have then, okay? Your grandparents once told me about what they’d make for you when you were sick!”

She ran to the kitchen, which seems to be a hybrid with the theorical dining room, and takes a look through the fridge and other places to find a way to make something quickly. She settles for a cup of honey milk, not too big in case he isn’t hungry and warm enough to feel good on the throat, and a moderate bowl of oatmeal. She doesn’t really know why he had this in here, but she’s grateful for it: it’ll be just fine for her sick friend. There is no proper tray to put these on: instead, she just uses something similar found nearby. She isn’t sure what it is, but it can hold a bowl, a mug and the pills she found in his pharmacy.

Takeru gives her a smile as she puts it on his lap, making sure it isn’t burning to hold.

“Thank you very much, but you really didn’t have to…” he tells her, but she dismisses it quickly.

“Who else was going to take care of you? Your friends had no idea you were missing because you were sick… You should tell them, so they can take care of you when I’ll be back in our hometown…”

He looks at the red mug with blue stripes, holds it in his hands and, after taking a sip, looks back at her and smiles again.

“You remember this mug, Kiku?”

“Of course I do! It’s the one I gave you before you left for Den City!”

Ah, she’s so proud of him too for moving on from the Incident and rebuilding himself!

This is only for her to get restless again.

“Wait, Takeru, I don’t think you have medicine…”

“I don’t think it’s much more than a cold… Plus, I’m not gonna make you pay for this, seriously, Kiku…”

“I was only able to find fever reducers, but maybe you want cough pills?”

“I’ll be fine, I promise…”

She stares at him with the intensity of a thousand doctors and the legendary force of a hundred grandma’s remedies.

“You’re really sure about that? I saw a convenience store and a pharmacy around the corner, they’re not too far for me to get there…”

The little laugh she hears from Takeru, slightly soured down by his congested throat but still adorable to hear, almost innocent. She puts a hand on his forehead meanwhile, and sure enough, he has a fever running. It doesn’t seem to bad, however, so she just quickly grabs a washcloth in his bathroom (which is right next to the bedroom, how convenient). Once filled with cold water, she can go back to the bedroom and put it on his forehead.

“Ah, that’s annoying… I’ll have to pay you back again for this too…”

She giggles.

“You don’t owe me anything, silly! I’m glad to make sure you’ll be fine!”

“Can I ask you a last favour, Kiku…?”

His voice sounds more hesitant. Is there something wrong?

“Of course you can.”

“Can you stay with me for the day? Flame is a nice company to have, but you’re even better to have around…”

Her heart skips a beat and her cheeks heat up.

“I’ll stay here as long as I can then!”

As if synchronized, they take each other’s hand in theirs, fingers sometimes detaching so they can do other stuff on the side, like daling with the tray. They, however, enlace each other almost right afterwards, and she cannot help but feel like a guardian angel at the moment.

Takeru’s grandparents have told her before she was his guardian angel, after all, but never had she pictured that idea so much than now.

#vrains #entrustshipping #vrainsrarepairweeks #my writing

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animationevents-blog · 5 years

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Benefits Of Using Photo Booths In Parties

A long time before photo booths arrived to use, it had been present with ask photography lovers to consider photos during occasions. Photography lovers needed to grapple with a lot of shortcomings, particularly if the event had a lot of visitors. The only real solution available then ended up being to use several photographers, though it didn't solve all of the problems. Some problems still endured regardless of photographers using digital camera models.

Camera does accelerate producing prints, but it's not quick enough to provide your visitors an immediate print. They should be processed a little, though nothing like in film-based cameras. Typically, images taken in digital camera models are used in a pc, after a makeover (minor) they're printed on photo taking papers. Therefore, a period lag between your duration of going for a snap and delivery is inevitable.

Though this really is apparently simple, and also the only casualty seems to become time, hosts wound up spending substantially on mailing expenses. Another casualty was time hosts lost in sorting printouts. Time wasted really was incredible. Inside a busy world where we live nowadays, it might be unimaginable doing all of this by hand (neither can machines get it done). The appearance of photo booth rentals has altered the ways that we make photographs at parties and weddings, as well as at corporate conferences and celebrations.

The benefits of photo booths are that, you do not need a professional photographer as well as your visitors get printouts instantly. Like a host, it will save you time and money. It's not necessary to possess a photo booth to benefit from onpar gps. Actually consumers don't own photo whatsoever, because, they're heavy, hard to store and wish a specialist attendant which is generally an issue. Therefore, it is prudent to make contact with Photo Booth Rentals Company inside your location.

Magic mirror photo booth hire in surrey come in several sizes and configurations. Particular kinds are particularly helpful for weddings, some for parties but still some which are especially designed for use within home situations such as mothering sunday celebration. Size matters a great deal, if you are planning for doing things inside. You'll have to check whether your house's door is very large enough to usher in a Professional photographer and whether it may be covered within the elevator if you reside in a condominium.

There's two kinds of photo booths that you could order on rental - open type or closed type. Open types would be best suited to parties and open-air celebrations - inside a garden for instance. They are able to accommodate large groups (8 or even more people). It's quite common for users to buy packaged rental. The advantages of packaged rental are - it will save you money, the rental company offers an attendant, they take proper care of expenses associated with transporting and installing, and also you know in advance the entire expense.

Another items to try looking in packaged rental are - wedding session time, quantity of strips incorporated within the rental, price of additional strips, price of special backdrops, and price of Halloween. Never get transported away by offers which are impossible for that rental companies to provide. Obtain a quote prior to ordering a photograph booth.

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bakugoukatsuki-rising · 6 years

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MidoTaka and KagaKuro for the OTP thing please?

I’ll start with MidoTaka

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?Definitely Takao but I feel like Midorima slips in a lot of surprises since Taka always pulls him around.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?I wanna say Takao but I see Midorima being more inclined to lay his head on Taka’s lap.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?TAKAO AND MIDORIMA IS HAVING NONE OF THAT SHIT////tho he definitely enjoys it////

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?Takao is quick to scold Midorima cause Mido would stay up mad late practicing but Taka ends up staying with him, anyway

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?I don’t see either of them being able to cook so Mido would scream at Taka for the attempt and then they’d just go buy something.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?Mido thinks it and Taka is quick to read him a bunch of ridiculous things that he, of course, has to deny.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?Taka is always taking Midorima’s shit come on now

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”They run errands together cause Mido can’t be bothered to walk anywhere and they both end up forgetting things but Taka forgets more often.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?I see Takao more of the one to drive cause Midorima would be too anal to let him give directions. But Taka’s driving also terrifies him so they’ll stick with the rickshaw

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?Midorima would definitely be the artist between them.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?Mido would just have lucky item while Takao goes batshit with crazy spy moves.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?Neither of them really like alcohol, Takao likes juice and Mido likes tea

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?Mido is a spoiled bitch because of Taka

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?Definitely Takao, he’s a such a babe

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?MIDORIMA IS A LITTLE BITCH and Takao doesn’t mind saving bugs cause he knows it gets to Mido

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?Takao just takes it, he doesn’t need to ask

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?I picture Midorima having protective family and Takao is very spontaneous so they aren’t too fond of him.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?In my brain, I see Midorima doing it but only because Takao kinda forces it out of him.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?I think Takao would be a really good parent and Midorima would kinda fumble through out but Taka got his back!

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?Midorima can’t stand texting Taka cause he mainly writes in numbers, if that makes any sense

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?Midorima was bullied, Takao kicked ass.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?Mido just hits him in the back of the head every time he tries it

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?I could see Taka trying to surprise Mido but I don’t see it turning out very well.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?Let’s just stick with the rickshaw. Poor Taka can’t take much more

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?Well they both compete but if either if benched, you know who they’re internally cheering for.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?Taka had a whole folding of Mido sleeping on him what are you talking about

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?Taka usually waits for Mido to be asleep and then does it without permission

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?I picture Takao liking snakes and Mido is having none of that shit.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?Definitely Takao, he even hooks a rig to the rickshaw with one after awhile

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?I could see Takao wanting to go to Hawaii and he’d drag Mido all over and take blurry pictures of everything.

Now time for KagaKuro!

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?I wanna say it’s about even. The tend to split most of the things they do unless it’s a special occasion.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?Kuroko is really shy about it but he actually loves falling asleep on Kagami.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?They’re both very conscious of how they are around the other, even when they’re living together. I would say Kagami is more often shirtless but Kuroko doesn’t mind unless they’re expecting company.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?Kagami is much more frequent with staying up late and Kuroko definitely has to mother him a lot because of it.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?Kuroko just wanted to surprise Kagami but he nearly burned the house down and Kagami never let him do it again. But he did make them some nice treats afterwards.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?Kuroko would casually point things out just to get Kagami flustered.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?Well there is no way Kagami is fitting Kuroko’s clothes, so it’s gotta be the other way around.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”Kagami is super forgetful and Kuroko is constantly reminding him of things, and Kuroko is the one who does all the outside errands cause Kagami would get lost.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?Kuroko doesn’t trust Kagami behind the wheel so he never lets him drive but he also doesn’t trust him with directions so they use a GPS and Kagami sleeps.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?Kuroko wouldn’t tell Kagami he’s drawing him and would just take the opportunity when it arose.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?Kagami would be really giddy and they’d probably have to abort mission cause Kuroko wouldn’t want them to get caught.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?Neither drink but when Kagami goes out with Aomine and he doesn’t really have an option, Kuroko always ends up having to take care of him and complaining about it afterwards.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?Kagami is actually more prone to surprising Kuroko with gifts and Kuroko surprises Kagami more physically. ////if you know what I mean////

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?Kagami slips up from time to time, and Kuroko is pretty pleased about it.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?Kagami freaks out much more often and Kuroko just likes getting a kick out of it.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?Kuroko tends to ask Kagami a lot for his jacket.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?Both their families are pretty open and don’t mind the other. Kagami’s family actually really loves Kuroko.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?Kagami!!!!!!!! And he’s super awkward about it, too. Right after a big win or something he just blurts it out and Kuroko is all like ‘Took you long enough.’

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?Well we know Kuroko loves kids so he would be top notch and Kagami would be like Midorima and kind of fumble a lot but he’d be a good daddy. Especially to a little girl. He’d be so into doing things like doing her hair and letting her do his make up and he’d teach her basketball ooohhhhh I could get lost in this one!

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?Kuroko just calls Kagami now because he got tired of not understanding his texts.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?Well Kuroko doesn’t really get bullied but he kinda picks fights that Kagami has to swoop in on to make sure he doesn’t get hurt.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?They both just wanna fight Izuki, okay?

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?Well this is already a canon thing and Kagami can’t handle it enough with one so imagine if there were two.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?Kuroko would die if he tried to lift Kagami like that.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?They’re on the same basketball team, son. Come on now.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?Kuroko loves to take pictures of Kagami in weird positions while he sleeps. He shares them with Takao who shows him the ones of Mido.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?Going back to the family AU, they both let their baby girl do their make up.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?Son. SON. NIGOU IS CANON BRUH

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?Kagami cause he’s bigger and it’s easier.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?I feel like Kuroko would really love to see India and so they’d go and Kagami would be mesmerized by how energetic Kuroko was and how many pictures he took and how interested he was. It would be super cute.

OKAY THAT WAS A LOT I HOPE I DID IT RIGHT I’M SORRY IF I DIDN’T.

#kuroko no basket #knb #kurobasu #kuroko's basketball #kagakuro #midotaka #kuroko tetsuya #kagami taiga #midorima shintarou #takao kazunari #asks #ask me #ship #otp #fandom #anime #basketball idiot responds

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mischiefandspirits · 6 years

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Twelfth Night

Alicia uses the Euro-Spanish pronunciation (uh-lee-thee-uh)

The twins had always known they were half-alien. It was hard not to. Even their names reflected it. Their first names, Alicia and Calista, came from their father’s heritage while their middle names, Kyzta and Acxa, came from their mother’s.

“Your mother came from the stars, and you both take after her. Alicia, you take after her in spirit; and Calista, you take after her in body,” their father would always say.

They were nine when he died.

Calista had been at home as usual, but Alicia had been in the car with their father since he’d wanted help running errands.

When Alicia woke up, they told him there’d been a crash. He was mostly alright, but their father…

It took Alicia two weeks to sneak away from the family they’d put him with, nearly a month since he’d last seen Calista.

She was terrified when he finally reached her, throwing herself at him the moment he’d shuffled into the hidden panic room in the attic.

“Strangers came to the house,” she told him. “I don’t think they knew I was here or were looking for me. They just checked some stuff and took some clothes and toys from our room and left. But… I heard them mention something about a funeral, and someone coming to clean out and sell the house, and I thought -”

That’s when she broke down crying.

Alicia held her until they both fell asleep. In the morning, they scavenged the house.

Money from their father’s office and the jar on the kitchen counter was added to the stash in the panic room. The food was sorted through like their father had taught them. A good portion of the perishables had been either eaten or gone bad over the month, but most of the food was designed to last. They packed up what remained of their clothes, Alicia’s stuffed hippo toy, Calista’s Lilo doll, and their learning tablets into a suitcase and took it and the first aid kit from the panic room out to the shed. There they strapped the luggage, kit, money stash, and as many bags of food and jugs of water as they could fit onto the secret hoverbike their parents had built.

After that, they waited. They waited for the sun to sink past the horizon. They waited for the lights in the nearby houses to blink out.

Only once the entire street was dark did they sneak down to the shed, GPS in hand. Alicia was the one who knew how to drive the bike, but Calista was the one who could see without needing the headlight. As such, Calista sat in front, directing Alicia through turns and around obstacles while they made their way through rural streets and into open desert. Meanwhile, he kept his eyes glued to the GPS as they grew closer and closer to the coordinates their father had made sure they both memorized.

The sun was rising by the time they reached the shack they had been born in.

They sleepily dragged everything inside before collapsing onto the couch.

The first few weeks -- months, really -- were hard.

They fought. A lot. Both physically and verbally.

Calista yelled that he should just leave, sometimes because she was mad and sometimes because she honestly thought he would be better off without her. He wasn’t the one that was blue and had crests and pointed ears. He could have a normal life without her.

Alicia yelled that maybe he should, sometimes because he was mad and sometimes because he honestly thought she would be better off without him. He got colder more easily than she did, needed more water than her, and his eyes weren’t as good as her own. He couldn’t hunt during the day for as long as her or at all at night.

They pushed through though because neither of them could actually push away what little of their tiny family they had left.

Alicia taught Calista how to drive the hoverbike and Calista taught him how to work the water purifier and food scanner their mother had left behind with their father. Together they learned how to cook, the best ways to hunt, how to care for the vegetable garden in the shed, and how to patch up each other after a fight or on the rare occasion they got hurt hunting by watching videos on their tablets.

There was only so much they could get in the desert though.

Three months after they’d come to the shack, Alicia drove the hoverbike to the nearest town. He’d gotten a little lost, but managed to find his way once he’d spotted the road that led from the neighboring asto-military school to the town. He hid the bike under a tarp just outside of town before creeping in to buy what was needed.

It was the first of many trips, although they were infrequent. The two didn’t need much.

The only exception was the month of October.

Every October twenty-third, they’d leave the shack the moment the sun set and head to town together. Alicia would buy them both ice cream that they’d eat in a hidden part of the park, then the two would sneak into the discount theater to watch whatever old movie was playing.

Two days later, they’d start the night much the same, but with a small cake and a trip to the observatory instead.

Both days Calista would wear a scarf, hood, and sunglasses to hide her face until they were safely tucked away behind tall bushes or at the back of a dark room.

Their next trip, on the other hand…

Halloween was their favorite day. It always had been. It meant Calista could go outside without having to worry about being seen. It was like an extension of their birthdays, and they treated it as such.

They’d spend the afternoon wandering around town, looking at the decorations. Calista would get compliments on her costume, and Alicia would paint his face blue to match. Later, they’d drift from house to house, bags ready to gather as much candy as they could get their hands on.

Time passed and the two grew older.

Alicia was eleven and watching a group of girls giggling from behind a rack of clothes when he realized how different he felt. It wasn’t an alien-different, like how he seemed to always know where everyone around him was without looking or how he was heavier than he was supposed to be given his size.

It was a different sort of different.

When he returned to the shack, he and Calista talked.

And talked.

And looked things up on their tablets.

And talked some more.

On his next birthday, Calista gave him the name Keith. It was both an amalgamation of his two names and the first birthday present either of them had gotten since their father had died.

In return, Keith gave her all his Halloween candy.

Things took a turn for the worst just before their fourteenth birthday.

Keith had always gotten looks when he was in town, but usually a lie about his father being near was enough to turn them away. As he grew older though, the lie worked less and less. To the point where a friendly store clerk tried to “make sure you get back to him safely.”

He barely managed to get away.

“They must not expect little kids to be runaways,” Calista muttered as she worried over a scratch he’d gotten on his hand jumping over a fence. “But teenagers are exactly what they’re expecting.”

“I’ve been going there for years!”

“And they’ve never once seen our father with you.”

It only got worse when their Halloween was cut short by a pair of police officers trying to talk to them. They’d gotten split up while trying to lose their tails. By the time they had been able to meet up at the bike, both were convinced the other had been taken.

They spent the night in each others arms.

“I’m leaving,” Calista announced the next morning.

“What are you talking about?”

“The Boat. I’m going to take it and find mom.”

The Boat was a small craft their mother had left behind. Their father had told them it was in case of emergency, though they weren’t sure exactly what kind of emergency would call for a spaceship.

It wasn’t the first time they had considered using it, really. When their father had died, they’d talked about leaving Earth, had even gone so far as to learn how to fly it using the instructions their mother had given their father. They’d decided against it in the end though. They didn’t know where to go or how to survive in space. Here they had a home and knew how to survive.

When he reminded her of this, she shook her head. “We can’t keep going on like this. You’re not as inconspicuous as before. They’re going to keep coming after you. If they catch you -”

“Then I’ll run away again! I’m not going to leave you alone out here!”

“And what if they put you somewhere you can’t run away from this time?” She yelled, jumping to her feet. “Or what if they don’t catch you, but follow you instead? What if they find us out here? It won’t be foster care then. They’ll run tests on us, and we both know you aren’t as human as you look! They’ll lock us away and-and do who knows what to us!”

“Then I’ll stop going into town!” he yelled back, hopping up as well.

“We’re not that self-sustaining! And what if one of us gets hurt! Really hurt! We’re lucky neither of us has broken a bone or been mauled by a coyote!”

“We know how to set bones and close wounds!”

“First aid!” She shoved him, then grabbed his shoulders and gave him a shake. “We know first aid! We don’t have the tools or knowledge to really fix the problem! And what about infections? And the pain? We can’t get our hands on the medicine we’d need! We can’t even buy cough syrup!”

“I’m not opposed to stealing if I have to!”

“I know you’re not, but that could just get us more in trouble! And who knows what kind of dosage we would actually need! We could die!”

Keith opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

The silence felt harsh after the yelling.

She let him go. “Keith -”

“What would we even do?” He snarled, burying his hands in his hair. “Where would we go? We don’t know anything about what’s out there!”

“Actually, I do. I’ve been thinking about this since the last time you got in trouble. I checked the Boat and it’s got navigation. The information is all years out of date, but the more prominent trading hubs are likely still active. They’ll be the best places to look for work and information.”

“So we just pack up and leave? Do you really think we’ll be better off out there?”

Calista reached out and pulled his hands into her own. “Not we, me.”

Keith jerked away from her. “What?”

“I’m going. Alone.”

Keith stared at her for a moment before tackling her. The two rolled around on the floor before Calista managed to pin him.

“No!”

“Keith -”

“We stick together! That’s how we’ve always done this. It’s how we’ve survived this long,” he hissed, getting his foot between them and kicking her off.

“This is different,” she huffed, rolling away before he could grab her. “I can’t stay here any longer, but you can. We both know the only reason you’re out here all alone is because of me.” She grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him into a headlock. “You could have a life here. You could go to school and have friends and live in a real house.”

“I don’t care about any of that stuff.”

“I do. You should be able to live your life without me holding you back. There’s no telling what could happen out th-Ow!”

Keith managed to get a handful of hair and ear and pulled. The pain made her loosen her grip on him enough for him to slip free.

“Which is why we need to stick together!” he yelled, twisting around her to pin her face down.

“Which is why you’re staying here!” she yelled back, trying to pull her arm free from where he was holding it behind her.

“You are not just… just leaving me here!”

“You’ll be safe! You can have an actual life!”

“Our life is fine!”

Calista clawed at Keith’s cheek, giving him four long scratches and making him pull back enough for her to buck him off. She swung herself on top of him, sitting on his chest. She grabbed his wrists and ignored the knees thumping against her back as she leaned close to his face. “Our life sucks.”

“You suck!”

“Keith, be reasonable. I have to leave, but you don’t.”

Keith went limp. “Fine, just leave me then.”

She collapsed on top of him as she saw his eyes growing wet. “You know this isn’t about leaving you. We need to be safe, both of us. You can be safe here, I can’t. And I can’t guarantee you’d be safe out there.”

“We can’t be sure you’d be safe out there either.”

“I have a better chance out there than here though. It’s where Mom’s from, and Dad always said I look like her. If it’s safe out there for her, I shouldn’t be in too much danger. Not like here.”

“We won’t be together though,” Keith muttered, running his fingers along her crests.

Nuzzling into his neck, she grabbed onto his shirt. “I know, but it’s what’s best for both of us.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I know. I don’t either.” She sat up and pulled him into a hug. “I’ll miss you.”

Keith buried his face into her shoulder, tightly wrapping his arms around her.

They held the hug for a few moments before Calista pulled back, her eyes as misty as his.

“Come on, let’s get cleaned up,” she chuckled, gently poking his bleeding cheek.

His nose twisted up and he slapped her hand away. “Why couldn’t I have gotten claws too?”

A month later, the Boat was packed up with Calista’s things and most of the nonperishables.

Keith watched her ready the Boat from behind the pilot seat. “There’s still time to change plans.”

“We’re not having this fight again.”

“I’m not trying to start a fight. I just… are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

She sighed and stood up. Tugging him forward, she tucked him under her chin. “I want you to come, but you need to stay here.”

He’d lied. He did want to fight, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good.

She pulled back and leaned down to press their cheeks together.

“Be careful out there.”

“Keep out of trouble here.” They held the position for a moment before she pulled back. “I want you to take this.”

Keith eyes widened as she held out their mother’s blade. “What? No, you should take it! You’re the one heading out there!”

“A little knife isn’t going to do me much good out there.”

“It’s a dagger,” he huffed.

She rolled her eyes and pushed the blade into his hands. “Besides, you’re the one that knows how to use it.”

He tried to push it back, saying, “You should have something to protect yourself with.”

“I’ll figure something out. Mom left it here for us. You should keep it.”

“You’re the one that’s going out there to find her. What if you need it?”

“I know the insignia like the back of my hand.”

“But -”

She grabbed his wrist and forced the blade into his hand. “Take it. It should be yours. You’re the oldest, even if you are as small as a rabbit.”

He punched her arm. “Not my fault I didn’t get Mom’s giant genes.” He glanced down at the blade before strapping it to his belt. He stared down at the ground as they turned to head towards the exit. “Will you ever come back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Try.”

As Keith stepped out, Calista grabbed his shoulder. “Let’s make a deal. I promise to come visit you as soon as I know it’s safe to do so. In return, you promise to at least try to find a life here.” She leaned down until they were nose to nose. “I don’t want you spending the rest of your life missing me.”

“It won’t be the rest of my life if you come back.”

“It will if I don’t.”

“Then come back.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to. Like you keep pointing out, we don’t know what it’s like out there. So just try, for me. And if it’s safe to come back, I will. And if you still hate it, you can come with me when I leave again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He closed his eyes, then stepped back. “Fine, I’ll try.”

“Good.” She reached out and ruffled his hair.

He hissed and clapped his hands over his head. He glared at her laughter and said, “Aren’t you leaving already?”

“Take care.”

“You too. And hey,” he added, stopping her as she turned. “If you do find Mom, make sure she regrets leaving us.”

She smirked, baring her fangs, then headed inside as the door shut.

Keith left the cave the Boat was hidden in and grabbed his bag. Rubbing his eyes, he turned to watch the Boat fly out the entrance and up into the twilight sky before setting off.

I had more for this, some written and even more planned, but I wanted to get this out before s6 can get the chance to either disprove everything or, God willing, confirm something.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #acxa #keith #fanfiction

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translightyagami · 6 years

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Otp questions for Matsuda/Light?

dflkjskaljf;ldfsakj ALL OF THEM????? aight dude.

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

i don’t think either of them spends a lot of money on each other. their relationship isn’t rlly....over the table. but i think matsuda gets light presents sometimes like that sashmi phone charm or fun socks. he definitely DEFINITELY gets light something on valentines day bc he sort of hopes light will do the same but uh light has to go on his lunch break to the nearest convience store and buy some shitty chocolates bc he doesn’t want matsuda to know he forgot. except matsuda like knows, he’s just too nice and a little too into light to say anything.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

matsuda will lay his head on light’s lap while light is doing paper work. its late on a tuesday when they hv light’s apartment to themselves which almost nvr happens and he’s running his hand thru matsuda’s hair. its almost like they’re a real couple. it’s almost like light cares.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

they r both way too conservative abt their bodies to walk around half naked anywhere but if matsuda spills something on his shirt he’s not gonna soak in that cold coffee. he’ll strip that shirt off and use light’s washing machine and then chill in the kitchen. light yells at him, which scares the shit out of matsuda bc light almost nvr yells at ppl if he can help it, and tells him that misa is going to b home in like an hour so he can’t b waltzing around w no shirt on. then he stops, sees matsuda’s wide eyes and his anger slinks back into it’s cage so he offers to blow him as an apology.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

matsuda is always getting on light for staying up too late. “you’re giving kira too much of your time!” he says and light just gets this ugly look on his face like he’s halfway to a laugh but also abt to melt. “how else can we bring him to justice,” he says, “if we aren’t giving up some parts of our comfort?” that shuts matsuda up.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

god they both suck so hard at cooking. matsuda tries to make them like romantic meals and light lets him bc he loves it when ppl do things for him ever at all. all the meals end up burnt and light tells matsuda he doesn’t mind but he rlly rlly does bc then he has to explain to misa why their apartment smells like burned chicken. they order takeout or go somewhere to eat and its rlly uncomfortable for the rest of the night.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

oh for sure matsuda sees those, like, couples memes and wants desperately to send them to light and b like “ha that’s us” but he’s not sure if they count as a couple since light makes him leave immeadiately after they fuck. so instead he just sort of casually will announce that this meme makes him think of someone and light doesn’t look up from his work like “what’s a meme?”

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

god they r like different sizes but sometimes, if light is weak and lets matsuda convince him to go to his place, light borrows a shirt from matsuda that’s too big on his all flat angles body. it hangs on him and it kind of....turns matsuda on a little?? they’re all his old college track shirts. light always returns them promptly the next day, washed and folded in a plastic bag.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

light likes to send matsuda on errands bc he knows he can and also he hates hving to do small tasks so he’ll like send him to get lunch and then when he gets back will get huffy if he forgets to bring like...enough napkins.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

it’s canonical in my headcanon that light is a very bad driver and matsuda actually had to help him learn so matsuda drives them most of the time. light gives surprisingly good directions for what a shit driver he is, mostly bc he has a good memory and spent a lot of time using the subway so he knows his streets. get him out in the country tho and he’s like “uhhhh turn left?? maybe right??? lets use the gps.”

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

light poses and matsuda draws a shitty stick figure w a tie on. light must stiffle the urge to rip it up and it’s the greatest feat of strength he’s ever managed.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

uhhuhuhuuhhh shit man i literally hv no idea with this one!!! neither of them can do a backflip but matsuda is convinced that if given the chance, he could do one and then light and he hv that charlie and mac argument of “u can’t do a backflip” “i do a backflip every day of my life!!”

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

literally. neither of them stops the other one. light doesn’t drink a lot but matsuda will take him out clubbing which means light gets drunk off two cocktails and half of matsuda’s rum n’ coke. he dances to ariana grande and pulls matsuda on the floor and matsuda is so flattered by the attention that he lets light get drunker until he’s swaying and they hv to take a cab back to his apartment bc he can barely stand.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

i think i said in the first question, but matsuda often leaves light little gifts.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

dslkfjla;skdfj;aslkfj;slfa matsuda sometimes puts yagami as his last name but that’s only bc he spends so much time w that family. he’d b so pleased to marry into it honestly. its a secret dream of his to propose to light and for light to accept and it keeps him warm on nights when light won’t return his calls.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

neither of them take the spider outside but matsuda will just smack it w his shoe. light gets the bug spray and watches the spider die, slowly and painfully. he only ever does this when no one else is around but god, it’s a little thrill to take the edge off.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

matsuda forgets his jacket A Lot and so light will offer his as a token of affection (or at least as much a token as light can manage). it nvr fits but the same song and dance happens every time. matsuda wishes that light would forget his jacket once so it would b the other way around but uhhhh mr. five hundred plans at once has nvr been unprepared for bad weather. except once on a certain rooftop but like who’s keeping score?

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

their relationship is secret so nobody. but if sayu knew, she’d hv a word or two for matsuda abt dating her wonderful brother who deserves the best boyfriend life has to offer.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

hmm. this one is......tough. neither of them every say anything but matsuda almost does. it takes a while. it takes several times of matsuda getting up to put on his shoes and looking over his shoulder, asking if light’s sure he wants to be alone. its a lot of him “dropping by” when he knows misa isn’t home but light didn’t ask him to come over and just watching tv together. he’s like a frog in water slowly boiling until he realizes the water is too hot and he’s burning with some kinda something for light. so he works up a little courage and a little stupidity and one night, after sex, he rolls over and asks light what they are. light blinks and smiles. “we’re friends,” he says and matsuda’s heart is a brick sinking into his stomach. “oh,” he says. “okay.” he doesn’t bring it up again.

a week later, light calls one of their outings a date and the brick starts to lift.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

Oh They’d B Such Shit.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

is this.....are you trying to ask me who does 1337 speak? okay okay. u would b surprised but i think light uses a lot of text chat when he messages ppl he’s closer to. if its like a work message, its all business but if it’s like a booty call to matsuda its like “hey wyd?” matsuda texts in such.....text code....u would hv to hv one of those “what is ur teen saying” guides next to u to understand. light can’t keep up. the only time matsuda texts with perfect grammar is when he’s sexting and honestly? that is half of what drives light wild.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

here’s the facts: light likes matsuda but if he saw him getting bullied or anything and protecting him meant bringing himself to literally any harm? he’d turn right around and go in a different direction. matsuda defends light constantly whenever someone says something abt him being kira. anyone got anything to say abt light yagami? matsuda is on ‘em at the drop of a hat.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

god matsuda makes so many puns. he’s out of control. every time he opens his mouth its light’s worst nightmare which is nice humor and fun. he’ll grit his teeth and smile but inside he’s in special dead hell which is for ppl hearing bad jokes. BUT there’s one time where light is doing something and doesn’t catch himself b4 just out loud making a pun and the grin on matsuda’s? could’ve lit up an entire stadium.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

if matsuda ever brought a puppy into light’s home, he’d b out on his ass in a minute. his dick game isn’t that strong.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

matsuda is actually a little stronger than light, he’s like short-ish but built and frequently has to carry light home from clubs bc he can’t handle his alcohol. when he does carry him, light gets v handsy and matsuda has to like try and calm him down which is hard bc matsuda is drunk too? uhuhuh here’s something: one time when matsuda was carrying light home, light kept up this stream of conversation abt nothing and then started to make this weird, choked crying noise and matsuda was like whats wrong and light just kept saying “he’s dead” all gargled n shit. matsuda got him home and everything and light offered to hv sex with him but there was something so dead eyed abt him that matsuda was like “uhhhh i’ll just go home.” and light looked v small and matsuda knew he should probably stay, that light would b sick soon and probably vomit and he should definitely stay but he leaves anyway. he thinks abt that a lot after he shoots light. abt the way he lay there like a corpse, like he died six years ago and was haunting himself.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

every once in a while light will do some intramural sports like soccer just to keep up his physique (he’s one of those ppl that like sports over like gym time) and matsuda always goes w misa under the pretense of their friendship. secretly tho he’s checking out light’s legs in shorts. light has v defined thighs.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

matsuda takes eight selfies every rare occasion light sleeps on him and uses the kitty ear filter on them. he only sends the snapchat to his mom, who is the only person that knows abt him and light, and keeps the photo saved on his phone. light nvr finds out abt them. matsuda’s mom snapchats him back a thumbs up.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

light would definitely give matsuda pointers and he actually does it, unsolicited, pretty often. if he could get a crack at matsuda’s waredrobe? god. the amount of macy’s casual wear he would shove in there. he hates matsuda’s day off clothes. worn jeans??? no thanks!!!

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

matsuda has a lizard named suds and light is not terrified of it, okay??? he just doesn’t like how it feels when it touches his skin and also how its eyes look and also he’s maybe a little scared of it so whatever

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

light insists on holding the umbrella bc he’s taller and likes the control but if he’s super busy and speedwalking he lets matsuda do it. also bc he likes flexing his ability to make ppl do things and it makes him feel royal to hv someone else hold his umbrella.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

well, they’d literally nvr go on vacation bc they r not in that kind of relationship BUT if they did, they’d probably just go out to the country to a bed n breakfast in the gayest fashion possible. light would use the time to read some books he bought but nvr got around to reading. matsuda attempts to write a science fiction story which he is too embarassed to show light. light hacks his computer when he’s asleep so he can read it and finds out that the love interest is just a thinly veiled version of himself so he shuts the computer and crawls in bed, blushing bc he’s flattered and bc there were a lot of alien sex scenes w his character.

matsuda takes several phone pics of light falling asleep in the car on the way to the bed n breakfast and is sorely tempted to save one as his phone background. he doesn’t but he does keep one of those pictures even after light dies. it reminds him that light was human. that somewhere there was a person in there, that he didn’t sleep with a monster.

#death note #y'all better like and reblog this bc i went and answered 30 damn questions #under a read more bc its long as hell #i got carried away on a couple questions.....#Anonymous

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