#and like im not demanding from my parents to change the way they like to interact w family or smth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anaalnathrakhs · 16 days

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i keep needing to remind myself that my parents are allowed to have priorities and are under no obligation to coddle me at all times, but i don't know i guess it still kind of hurts to be incompatible with them like that. i don't hate my parents, i get along with them quite well actually. but living with them is hellish. i don't know why i'm fucked up like that but so far it seems to have been pretty consistent since birth so. i don't think im getting out of it.

#idk even. small things. i guess.#before christmas we had long conversations w my mom during which i explained WHY i dont like gifts #and we settled on my parents only giving me a card and some small thing if they reaaaaally felt like it #(they did ofc and they fumbled btw it was a complete miss but it's alright i didn't tell them)#and now at easter my mom asks ''and can the easter bunny gift you something'' so im like......... ''i you WANT i guess''#so yeah she gave me (bulimic. hates gifts. already not in a good place mentally.) chocolates anyway #and it's like. on one hand i want to respect that she knows her own priorities and shit and i can ask for things but i can't DEMAND them #but also i feel like everything is a joke. are you kidding me. was that fucking chocolate chicken THAT important to you.#it's just grjkehrkgherj we HAVE to always do what we HAVE to do because it's NORMAL and COMMON COURTESY #and like im not demanding from my parents to change the way they like to interact w family or smth #but then it sets up unwinnable situations.#aunt cuntbitch is saying bigoted shit? well tell her so if you're not happy!#then proceed to look at you like 👁💥👁 when you say ''hey i think that's inappropriate bc X and Y argument''#it's just ????? stop pretending you're some kind of champion of fairness and conflict resolution when your goal is just not to make waves #i'm 100% guilty of this too but i've been recently noticing that uhm. i kind of was raised like that actually.#broadcasting my misery #vent

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trincketbox · 6 months

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Jason Todd as a Trans (ftm) allegory

Written by me, a trans man

[this edit was made by me, original picture it's Dan Mora's sketch]

TW gender disphoria, (implied) transphobia.

Im not saying his story was written with this perspective in mind, Im saying *death of the author (*the reinterpretation of artistic creations by the public both as a community and aa individuals, and how this goes far beyond the creator's original message on mind) is a very real thing.

This narrative resonated with me, a trans man, and my experience as such. Maybe out there is another transmasc person who caught themselves invested in this character the same way as I, and maybe they'll read this post and be happy to found out they're not alone on these feelings.

Without further addue, let's begin.

The second Robin, and the feeling of not fitting

Every trans person first memory of perceiving oneself as somehow different (and how) it's particular to each.

Some realize pretty young, some older. Some always have this lingering feeling of not belonging but become conscious of it later in life.

This feeling its present trough all of Jason's life. First, when he first arrives at the Manor. Later, when he starts operating as Robin. Then when Tim "replaces him", and so on.

Usually labelled as the black lamb of the family.

Tragedy is always, first, born off love

Jason's death and resurrection is written as a tragedy (no shit, Sherlock). But there, to be a tragedy, there has to be hope first. There has to be love.

Now, this varies from version to version, but a general consence is that Jason Todd was loved by Bruce Wayne, regardless of how much their relationship might change and twist on the future; Jason Todd was a good kid, regardless of how he might be portrayed as recless. He was a traumatized, angry kid who wanted to make things better. Who wished for bad guys to not hurt people anymore. Who wished to change the system for better, and took the matter on his own hands both as a child and as a young adult.

This

This right here

Was a loved, brave, bold, sensitive, mischievous, smart child who would latter come back like this:

Demanding justice, demanding damnation for al the pain he went through, demanding retaliation to the monster that set him off this world.

And all these requests fell to the ears of Bruce Wayne, Batman. The man who took him in as a scared, bold litte child that beated him in the cold of the night in the alley where his parents died. He stole his car tires, he's a child and he stole his car tires and he made Batman laugh.

That Perception doesn't change with his rise from the dead.

What changes is Bruce's view of him now.

Now, this depends on the writer, but on the start of Jason's "coming back to Gotham to fight Bruce" arc, there is the accusation of him coming back wrong.

Of him being better before

Of something being wrong with him since the start.

The implications of his physical change as wrong in comparation to his younger self.

I find Jason's body dismorphia due to The Lazarus Pit™ very interesting,but in this case Im not referring to it as a comparation with body disphoria (even through, he does get the feeling of your body changing in ways out of your control and the trauma that surrounds it).

Im talking about Bruce's view on all of this.

Luckily, if you're trans and had supportive parents, you won't know these things by first hand experience, but many, many people do.

And Jason gets it.

Jason Todd its womanhood™ coded

This is, partially, one of th main reasons why his fanbase consists on a large part of fangirls.

Repressed rage upon the injustices you go through all your life, and once the last drop falls, said rage is weaponized. Seen as dirty, as over the top, as dangerous.

Your older self being compared to your younger self, being asked (directly or indirectly) where that sweet child™ went.

Being striped away from your body autonomy (murder, torture, resurrection against his will, whatever is going on in Batman Gotham War).

Being labeled as the most sensitive. Sometimes in a good light, sometimes not.

The burning weight of still loving parental figures that hurted you.

Topping it all, it's implied through many instances he's a feminist (yes, Im aware this is also heavily influenced by fanon interpretations of the character, but you can't deny it's still heavily implied).

All of these issues almost universal (however not exclusive) to AFAB people life experience.

There is this recognition in these wounds. "He gets it", you feel, he gets it.

He gets it in a similar way transmasc individual have an undeniable insight of these issues. He gets it in a way that feels genuine, familiar, personal.

Lastly but nor least important,

He gives me gender™ vibes. That's it, that's the argument

Over all, Jason Todd its a multifaceted, complex character. He's morally grey, his temperament ranging and mutating with each reinterpretation. Some core issues stick, others don't.

I do not hold the one and only right interpretation of this character.

We can al agree, nevertheless, that even through he's not canonically trans,

Jason todd would be a great trans ally, fighting by our side, in name of our rights, our pain but also our pride.

For that's what heroes do.

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lemonlyman-dotcom · 2 months

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Thank you for the tags @strandnreyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @sznofthesticks @paperstorm & @carlos-in-glasses 💕

Chapter One of Eid Fic is now live on Ao3. Here’s a bit from the upcoming Chapter Two!

“Soo… why didn’t you go home for Eid?” His tone is casual but the look in his eyes tells her he already knows the answer. “I know you didn’t go home last year because you didn’t have any PTO yet. But you should have plenty built up by now. What’s up with that?”

Marjan doesn’t respond, can’t bring herself to voice her insecurities out loud. She reaches up to nervously adjust the end of her scarf. Takes another bite of her half of the cookie. It’s a face off, a battle of wills between two decidedly stubborn people. A couple minutes pass before TK finally prods.

“Is it because of Salim?”

Finally, she finds her voice again.

“TK, I just got punched in the soul,” she says slowly, steadily finding her words as she turns a desperate look in his direction. “I couldn’t go home and face my family, everybody knowing I’m a failure.”

He uncrosses his legs and sits forward, grabbing her hand and squeezing lightly. “Marjan. You’re not a failure.”

“I am.” It comes out sharp. Frustrated, she wipes her free hand across her eyes, which are starting to brim with tears. She adjusts herself in her chair, turning her body to face TK and the conversation they’re having head on. “Our families are so close, we go back generations. We always celebrate Eid together. I couldn’t face everyone if they were all there.” She sniffles a bit. “And it would be even worse if they weren’t.”

“Because it would mean a rift between the families?”

She nods. When she broke up with Salim she knew it was a move that would forever change the course of her life and alter her relationship with her family. If she’s completely honest with herself, she’d had doubts about her match with Salim well before they broke up, but she didn’t feel like she had a way to voice her apprehension. It wasn’t as simple as just telling her parents she didn’t want to marry Salim. Family ties going back generations would be broken, relationships would be scarred. Breaking off the marriage arrangement would permanently mark her as difficult, demanding, tainted… broken. Too independent to be tamed.

Tagging @whatsintheboxmh @heartstringsduet @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @vineofroses @alrightbuckaroo @chicgeekgirl89 @bonheur-cafe @ladytessa74 @fallout-mars @your-catfish-friend @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @inkweedandlizards @kiwichaeng @carlos-tk @literateowl @freneticfloetry @orchidscript @guardian-angle22 @my-little-tilly @tinyluminaryzombie @basilsunrise @louis-ii-reyes-strand @herefortarlos @apothecarose @rmd-writes @thebumblecee @theghostofashton @welcometololaland @reyesstrand @itsrandomnobody7 @liminalmemories21 @lightningboltreader @iboatedhere @never-blooms @ambiguouspenny @noxsoulmate @detective-giggles @decafdino @honeybee-taskforce and OPEN TAG 🏷️

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #tk strand x carlos reyes #marjan marwani #Marjan & TK #wip wednesday

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joshslater · 1 year

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Delayed Graduation

Repost of an old story that was previously flagged as too risqué for tumblr. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

- We might have a solution of sorts for you.

I barely registered principal Johnston talking. My world had been shattered, without warning. It all felt unreal, and most of all unfair. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but there were no witnesses, just my word against hers. She wouldn’t press charges, Johnston had explained. I was almost demanding that she did, so I could clear my name, but thought better of it. If it went to trial all outcomes would be bad, to varying degrees. This way I would just be expelled. I guess I could use the term “drop out” to soften it further. It’s not like the job market is stellar even if you have a degree, but this would firmly pigeon hole me as manual labor.

- What? - I said we might have an arrangement that could interest you.

He pulled out a stack of papers from his manila folder and placed them in front of me, and continued.

- We have a little trial project we would like to push ahead with, to see what the full potential is. Coach Andrews would personally take charge of your training to see how far he can take you in a year. Similar to what he managed to do for Shane O’Brian. Since you will be heavily supervised, fully scheduled and not share any classes with your former class mates, she has agreed to allow you complete your studies under these conditions. It’s not that many months until she graduates anyway. Your graduation obviously will have to wait until next year.

Shane of course was the star of the basket team. He was two years below me, so I didn’t know him, but I heard he had basically never touched a ball before he met coach. He must have been active in something else though, with that body. The girls were swooning like crazy. Some of the boys too, as rumor had it.

- Sir, I’m really grateful for this opportunity, but I’m not really made for sports. Just look at me. Tall and thin. Not much track and field around here. - We are not asking for any miracles. Just follow all instructions given and do your best. That’s all we’re asking.

I started to flip through the papers. I was bored just looking at the page numbers.

- Should I bring this home to my parents? - This is a bit time sensitive, so I’d prefer if you make your decision already today. You’re 18. You get to decide this on your own. Why don’t I leave you for a bit? You can have a read through, and then decide what you want to do.

As he left the room I started to go read through the contract properly. Why do they make things so complicated? The contract really just said that I assumed responsibility for the “infraction”, but the school would not disclose it to anyone unless the contract was breached. I would agree to participate in the athletic education study for one year. In return the school would allow me to graduate next year. But written over 26 pages.

I didn’t feel like I had many options. Initials on every page and signature on the last. Then repeated on the second copy of the contract. I was about to leave and find principal Johnston when he returned, followed by coach Andrews.

- Have you made up your mind, or would you like Mr. Andrews to explain it in more detail. - I’ve already signed the papers. - Oh, well then. I’m so happy we could work something out.

Coach Andrews opened the gym bag he was carrying and pulled out a blue singlet and ear guards, and held them for me to take.

- Let’s try this on right away. - Now? Here?

Johnston opened a door to a side room of his office.

- You can change in the conference room here. - But wrestling?! Have you seen me? - As I said, follow all instructions and do your best is all we ask.

It was the first time I even held a singlet in my hands. I’ve never even thought of how to put one on. It wasn’t hard, just step in them like some shorts and then pull the straps over your shoulders, but I never imagined doing it.

I looked ridiculous. I guess size isn’t as important when the fabric is stretchy, but this sure wasn’t my size. The taut straps pulled the fabric in the groin, while at the same time my thin legs didn’t fill out the legs of the singlet. What a mess. I walked back into the office, naked apart from this one single piece of clothing.

- Should I put on the ear guards as well. - No, that isn’t necessary. Here.

Coach opened a small, brown, glass bottle and poured its contents into a white plastic cup from the water cooler, and handed it to me.

- This is the time sensitive part. Drink up.

This day was going from horrendously bad to confusing to weird. I emptied the cup. The liquid tasted like cough syrup. Sickly sweet and with bitter herbs.

- What is.. *cough* *cough* - Here. Take a seat.

It felt like drinking really hot cocoa when you are frozen. It kind of spreads from the chest to the rest of the body. All of me was getting warm, and an uncomfortable feeling or pressure. Everything was off, like I was drunk, or high or something. It was over in a minute, though it is quite possible my mind was playing tricks and it really was longer than that.

- Stand up against the wall, so I can take a photo.

Bewildered, and with unsteady steps, I did as told. He snapped a few pictures with his phone, and then showed me one.

- Don’t tell me this isn’t a great starting point.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was definitely me in the photo, but it was like the aspect ratio was wrong. I must be several inches shorter, but everything, arms, legs, chest, shoulders, neck, was wider. Even my face was altered, if ever so slightly. Where just minutes before, or whatever, I was a lanky gamer, I now was a hunk of muscle.

- How is this... - Don’t worry about the details. We must work quickly now while you are fresh, to get the wrestling technique right. Meet me in my office tomorrow at 7 am.

With that he slapped me on the shoulder and left. Just as he was about to exit the office, he pulled out a pair of shoes from the bag and placed them at a table.

- Oh, I almost forgot these. Your new size. See you tomorrow!

My head was spinning. What had just happened to me, to my body? Starting point? Principal Johnston had his distinct “anything else?” look.

- What about my studies?

My voice was lower than before, I think.

- You’ll be placed in the athlete’s reduced curriculum class. We just need to retest your proficiency levels first. - Why? I don’t understand. - My point exactly.

He didn’t make any sense. I felt tired, slow and almost dizzy trying to understand him.

- What about this body? What happens when I graduate? - You graduate with the body you have, like everyone else. It’s not like we can change it by magic or anything.

He smiled and chuckled to himself.

- Take your old clothes with you as you leave. Something might still fit.

Nothing did.

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munson-mayhem · 1 year

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If you read the little prologue to this story this is part 1 like I said over there I do not write but I’m trying it out I don’t know how to link the other one to this so idk man but here it is lmk if y’all are liking it if ya want more stuff like that 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Part 1 the true beginning

Day after day, task after task, raid after raid every day is the same and yet everything has changed since the day we lost Neteyam. I wake every morning greet the sully family, my family we talk eat our first meal of the day together and then we all split and complete our tasks for the day . Jake runs missions and training with the other warriors some days I go on missions with them when they need eyes in the sky and an Ikran is the best choice, Lo’ak is a warrior in training so he’s there some days too but others he’s spending his day with his spirit brother Payakan the talkun or even spending his days with Tsireya. When we’re not doing those things the older kids fish to provide food to the tribe. Tuk has lessons with the other metkayina children. But the one thing that is special is our Iknmaya training for our coming of age it’s also the only thing that brings all of us older kids together into one place and is for the most part peaceful. Iknmaya for the metkayina includes bonding with a tsurak their version of a warrior mount much how the Omatikaya have the Ikran. As well as other various tests with their Talkun brother or sister and so far Kiri and I are the ones being left behind , but even she is getting Tsahik training alongside Tsireya by personal invetation from the current Tsahik Ronal she says Kiri has a special gift a connection with Eywa which is true. So really it’s just me getting left behind. Lo’ak has excelled he’s done all the tests and rights with the Talkun all he has left is to bond with a Tsurak and he’s getting closer every day. Lo’ak, Tsireya, Aonung, Rotxo , Kiri and I make up one group of young adults training with the Ilu there are other groups with more young adults practicing. Jake and Tonowari decided this group would do us all good for bonding purposes considering it seems like Lo’ak and Tsireya will likely choose each other as mates as soon as they complete their Iknmaya. Most days when I’ve completed all my assigned tasks for the day I find myself on the far side of the island where it’s almost deserted sitting on the rocks with my feet in the water thinking about all sorts of things my Family the sullys my new clan, my old clan, my parents, the sky people , the life I could have had with Neteyam of only we had stayed in the forest and there was peace he would take over as Olo’eyktan I became the Tsahik and we had the guidance of our family to help us be good leaders. Some days I dream of little children running around with his smile and laugh my eyes or his nose in these dreams our kids always favor him and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but that’s all it is a dream of something that will never pass. Im not sure I’ve smiled since the day we lost neteyam I don’t have any reason to.

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- [ ] I’m sitting on the rocks hiding from the whole village and so lost in thought that I don’t notice the shadow of something moving in the water near my feet until something touches my ankle. I scream and kick out my heel connects with something hard and I focus as it makes a disgruntled sound “ what the hell Y/N ?!” Aonung yells jumping up from his hiding spot in the water Rotxo pops up slightly farther away laughing a full belly laugh like me kicking Aonung in the face is the funniest thing ever which it might be. “ I’m sorry you scared me I didn’t mean to” I yelped as I jumped into the shallow water rushing to Aonung, he had his hand pressed agains his nose as he was standing there in mild shock. “Let me see Aonung” I demanded once I got closer he took a step back and hissed at me, I pause and raise my hands “ please let me look I promise I didn’t mean to and I can help” reluctantly he lowers his hand and I see some blood running from his left nostril. I grabbed his arm and start waking towards the rocks dragging him as I go “ I’m sorry Aonung sit here and I’ll go get something to stop the bleeding or something to plug your nose with, maybe a poultice would help”. “y/n“. “I should never have gotten so distracted” “ y/n”. “Maybe I can …” “ Y/N!” Aonung yelled I look at him slightly shocked “what?” “It’s stopped on its own I’m fine” he mutters “oh” is all I can say as I realize I’m standing between his knees pushing him by his shoulder onto the rocks him slightly shorter than me while he’s sitting down. I take a step back and look down and watch the water flow over my feet like it’s the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen. I somehow seem to have forgotten Aonung’s best friend Rotxo was there until he walks up next to us “ bro she got you good” he exclaims still laughing at the other boy, “ bro ? you two have been spending to much time with Lo’ak” I giggle as I look between the two they look at me like they have never seen me before or like I have another head “ what ?” I ask rolling my eyes “ have I grown another head ?” “no” both boys answer but it’s Aonung that actually gives me an answer “you haven’t smiled or laughed in a long time it’s good to see again”. I look at him strangely for only a moment more “ you right. I haven’t had much to smile about but I think I should start finding some reasons to or I’ll lose myself to my own mind “ I say to them while looking to the stars “ “even if it is to laugh at one of my friends being an absolute skxawgn” sneaking a glance at aonung as I say that last part.

#avatar movie #avatar x reader #avatar: way of the water #aonung x reader #aonung #avatar #neteyam #neteyam x reader #lo’ak #jake sully #pandora #sully family

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carlos-in-glasses · 4 months

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Happy Wednesday and yuletide felicitations to one and all.

Sharing a section from Where All This Love Comes From, Chapter 7: A Boy's Best Friend (posting on Sunday!)

In which teenage Carlos has been unceremoniously dragged by his parents to visit a newborn baby, and he isn't happy about it. Luckily, there's also a dog. And a boy.

He’s escaped to the kitchen, because here he can hang out with their elderly golden retriever – a glamorous white-coated lady called Zelda – and he’s massaging her head with salad tongs when he notices the time change on his digital watch. For some reason it makes him fiercely angry, and it’s the exact moment Gabriel wanders in to find him like this: Crouched on the terracotta floor tiles, looking furious, while an ancient pup appears to be in a state of total ecstasy because her ear is being rubbed by a large wooden fork.

“There you are,” Gabriel says, carrying his empty coffee mug to the sink. “Everyone was wondering where you got to. Give me that.” He scoffs and snatches the salad tongs from Carlos, dumping them in the sink with his mug.

Zelda whimpers at the loss, so Carlos strokes her snout with his thumb.

“When are we going home?” Carlos asks it like a challenge, stares at the time of his life ticking away.

12:01, his watch says.

He’s expecting his father to huff, to stretch out a pointing arm and demand he get his moody ass back into the living room and coo over the boring baby, but that doesn’t happen. When it doesn’t happen, Carlos finds the courage to glance up. Gabriel is drying his hands on a red gingham seersucker cloth, regarding him with a half-smile.

“Not really your scene, huh?” Gabriel says.

Carlos shrugs with one shoulder.

“I get it. But the girls want to stay.”

“I know.”

“How about you and me go for lunch?”

Carlos gazes at his dad distrustfully, rising to his feet. “Just us?”

“Yeah. I want to take my boy for some food.”

“I’m really, really hungry,” Carlos tells him, quiet and ashamed, like it’s a terrible secret, even though him eating everybody out of house and home is probably the most well-established fact about Carlos Reyes.

Gabriel laughs, slapping the cloth down. “I’ll take you to Mockingbird,” he says, “It’s been a long time.”

Mockingbird Diner. Sometimes, when Gabriel’s shifts had allowed it, he’d meet Carlos at the school gates and take him for a milkshake. When did that stop? It feels like forever ago, but when Carlos thinks about it, he can smell salted fries. He can feel himself holding an ice-cold glass. He’d always get vanilla. If Gabriel had a milkshake too, he’d always get chocolate.

_______________________________

It’s a hectic weekend lunchtime at Mockingbird, but a booth by the window becomes free as they enter. A friendly college-age boy buses them over. The table is still messy with evidence of its former occupants. Carlos watches with interest as half-empty lemonade glasses and plates scattered with crumbs are lifted out of sight. He likes the boy’s hands – the way they open and close and flex as he works to clean up. The way his tanned forearms, with a clear seam of defined muscle, protrude through rolled white shirt sleeves. He probably plays sport at UT. Carlos imagines him as a baseballer.

“I’ll grab you some menus, sirs,” the boy says cheerfully after spritzing and wiping down their table.

Carlos accidentally follows the boy with his eyes as he walks away. When his gaze finally travels to Gabriel – Gabriel is staring back curiously. He doesn’t know how long his dad has been observing him for.

Open tag and tags below!

Tagging: @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @paperstorm @strandnreyes @welcometololaland @lemonlyman-dotcom @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @bonheur-cafe @lightningboltreader @chaotictarlos @goodways @alrightbuckaroo @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @eclectic-sassycoweyes @orchidscript @taralaurel @noxsoulmate @liminalmemories21 @ladytessa74 @jesuisici33 @inflarescent @thisbuildinghasfeelings @fitzherbertssmolder @whatsintheboxmh @wandering-night19 @never-blooms @theghostofashton @carlos-tk @redshirt2 @herefortarlos @louis-ii-reyes-strand @chicgeekgirl89 @three-drink-amy @mikibwrites @freneticfloetry @sugdenlovesdingle - if you want to share/haven't already! No pressure ever!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

#If anyone knows the reference “yuletide felicitations” hit me up and your prize will be a screenshot of Tarlos embracing #wip wednesday #where all this love comes from #flashback fic #cig fic #my fic #tarlos fanfic #tarlos fanfiction

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wuzeio · 4 months

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i keep brainworming over your recent zombie au piece [kicks feet in air] tell me more 🫶 (if you wanna)

OUGGH GHDJFG IM SO GLAD 🫶🫶🫶T___T i think the AU fits AFTG especially really well!! My fav zombie apocalypse media is the Telltale Walking dead games so ... lots of inspiration drawn from that (and ofc Last of us for that good ol "oh they have immunity against the virus" trope") (also train of busan/TWD show for outbreak origin inspo)

How the virus outbreak starts in this AU: honestly have not thought about the specific details but the gist of it is that a deadly mutagen accidentally gets developed in a biotech lab while conducting experiments on animals >someone gets bit > starts to show signs and turns into zombie > more people get bit > everybody has the virus now, turns into a global pandemic

some char background/

Andrew and Aaron would have already been living together before the outbreak, and Nicky only lives likes 10ish minutes away from them. When all hell breaks loose, Nicky's parents get killed by a zombie hoard and he immediately goes to Andrew and Aaron to join up for safety. Andrew realizes that remaining where they are is only going to get them killed, so they drive his car out of the state in hopes to find a safer place (smart!).

I don't think Drew's group encounter Kevin and Neil until a few years later, when the apocalyptic world has become the norm and its all about survival now (maybe around 3-4 years?). The monsters have joined forces with different groups and even joined a few settlements in the past, but they find that they work best alone, just the three of them. Fortunately they have enough connections to make supply trades if its ever needed; Nicky's the interlocutor and peacemaker.

Kevi ... he would've still grown up in the Nest and played Exy in this AU. When the outbreak occurs there, the Ravens are trapped with the infected and it's basically a brutal death for all of them. Kevin and Riko manage to escape (with Riko ruthlessly killing a few teammates-turned-zombies on his way out, no hesitation!) Kevin and Riko have a very close relationship during the first few years of the apocalypse, but its more of Riko putting a leash on his brother and demanding him to do certain tasks. Kevin is strong and has lots of stamina, so he's incredibly reliable in an abundance of duties. Riko is also not above betraying groups they "befriend", and does not hesitate to kill or sell someone out when he thinks its better for their survival. Near the 3rd year mark, tensions between the two brothers begin to rise as Kevin starts to express his discomfort towards Riko's actions. They start to fight more often, and Kevin starts to rebel a little more. In turn, Riko gets increasingly paranoid about their dwindling supply stock/the fact that Kevin might betray him, so he ends up making a trade with a group of nearby raiders: Kevin for 6 months of supplies. Kevin, obviously, is horrified when he realizes this betrayal and deception. On the second night with the raiders, he manages to fight 4 of them off and runs off into the night. He meets Drew's group 3 months later. (btw kevin running off means that riko is now after him, because those raiders were not happy about what happened)

Neil!! He's in his last year of HS (still plays Exy for their team) when Mary convinces him to run away with her from their abusive father. In this AU she also steals a shit load of money from him and they take a plane to Georgia. The zombie outbreak occurs whilst on their run, and they manage to survive together for the first year. They make their way to South Carolina, but Mary gets killed during a crossfire started by bandits and...Neil is left alone now.

(note: I changed somethings regarding Neil/Kevin's relationship. Scratch them having past family connections!) He desperately tries to join up with a few groups, but all of them result with him either being assaulted or robbed from. The one group he finally finds and begins to feel a kinship with, he ends up being betrayed. Guess who the group is!! It's Kevin and Riko! After a near death experience with that, he's jaded, wary, and untrusting towards anyone. He's learned that staying alone gives him the highest rate of survival— that it's not the zombies that are the most dangerous. Those are easy to kill. A few smashes to the head and they're dead. But people, they're capable of doing the most evil, heinous things. (cue : " “It’s not the world that’s cruel. It’s the people in it.") oh also. he finds out hes immune after getting bit in the hand. He freaks out, introspects for a few days, and comes to the conclusion that he's going to kill himself before he turns. But it never happens.

3 years later, he's a seasoned veteran when it comes to surviving on his own. However, from a stroke of bad luck, he ends up getting hit by crossbow arrow in the forest while scavenging. This is how Drew finds him.

uhhh there's a lot more ideas in my head but I'm gonna wrap it up here because this got wayyy too long hehe thank you if you read it all... honestly this ask was very helpful because it helped me work out this AU in detail a lot more >:D

#aftg #all for the game #AFTG zombie AU

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xxrheaswifexx · 30 days

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Meeting for the first time pt.1

Dabi x Reader

(no NSFW stuff because yall are just meeting)

your 21 by the way and dabi is 23 (his canon age)

its around 10:00pm your walking down the streets when you notice someone in a alleyway smoking so you walk up to them wondering who it is and your eyes widen as you see its one of the most powerful men in the LOV dabi you freeze in fear as you see him but then he notices you…

“whats a little girl doing walking the streets at this time at night?” dabi asks

“i was bored so i thought id go for a walk” you reply with calming down slightly as he seems more sweet and calm talking to you than you have heard him talk on the news

“you gotta be more careful a women like you could get hurt somehow like you could get kidnapped or murdered you gotta be careful” dabi says to you but in a concerned tone which makes you a bit confused why hes so concerned about you and you begin to ask yourself “why is he being so concerned and nice? i mean isnt he one of the most powerful people in the LOV?” in your head but then you just reply to him anyways

“yeah i know ive had that pep talk before from my mum also can i have some?” you ask pointing to the cigarette in his hand

“yeah here but i have one question for you quickly?” he asks handing you the lit cigarette

“thank you and you can ask i dont mind” you say taking a draw of the cigarette

“are you a hero or training to be a hero because you dont seem a villain?” he asks curiously

“yeah i am actually i go to UA!” you reply blowing out the smoke and giving him the cigarette back

“oh so you are a UA student mmmm” he says in a more creepy tone like but you brush it off not caring before he asks again “what year you in?”

“im actually in my final year!!” you say smiling

“ohhhh and if someone like me for example from the LOV was to ask if you would like to join them what would you say?” he says in a way that sends a shiver down your spine

“id say no” you say in a more demanding tone like you dont ever want to join the LOV

“oh right move topic what is ur quirk?” he asks just trying to change the topic because deep down he wanted you to join the LOV

“fire manipulation and throwing!!” you say to him and then when you say it he raises an eyebrow

“guess we are more alike than you think is ur fire blue or red?” he asks just wondering to see if you both are more alike than what he thinks

“its actually blue why?” you then ask curiously

“we are definitely alike because my quirk is the exact same as yours” he says but with a smile on his face

“oh is that a good thing or?” you ask confused if it is really a good thing or not

“yeah it is dont worry but yeah anyway i think you should head home its getting late for a young women to be out this late want me to walk you i dont mind?” he asks but more concerned again like he wants you to say yes

“i mean i dont mind yeah!” you say smiling and then the two of yous leave the alleyway you leading the way to your house walking home with him and after like 30 minutes of walking you arrive home and you turn to dabi

“thats me now ill see you around?” you say hoping you will see him again

“yeah sure i always smoke in that alleyway so you’ll most likely find me in there” he says happily that he gets to see you again

you smile at him before walking into your house going to bed as soon as you get into your house you realise both your parents are asleep so you creep around heading to your bed falling asleep fastly as your so tired…

#mha x reader #mha dabi #dabi x reader #dabi my hero academia #mha

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fancyfade · 2 months

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Hi so I’m a Damian fan, who is still trying to get into comics and DC in general and stuff. I do know some tidbits from fandom and different blogs that I follow that do analysis.

However after a discussion with my brother (who’s been in special-ed), came this question? I don’t really know how to ask this but I’ll try to phrase it the best I can??

When it comes to schooling realistically would he be put into Special ED (Special-Education?)

While Damian doesn’t have a disability, I think because of his upbringing. Okay let me explain a little. Since Damian has college levels of education, being put into regular classes wouldn’t be considered challenging enough and if he were to be tested, the teacher probably would have to meet with his parents on whether or not to have him move up several grades?

And if the whole reason for Damian to being put into school is to help socially, then maybe special-Ed would help him? Because, the teachers are more hands on and (according to my brother) more focused on social development. And Special ED usually more works on basic life skills which probably is more of Damian needs.

But anyways, I know probably comic writers are not going to do that. But I thought it was an interesting thing to bring up for discussion?

I don't have personal experience with special education, so I can't comment on that. Teaching experience wise I can say there are two different ways people adapt content for students with disabilities:

Accommodations are ways you help students learn the same content as their peers. This can be making sure the content is conveyed via multiple means (ex: always having something visual to help explain while you are talking), breaking stuff into smaller chunks for students with ADHD, and like... a gazillion other things.

Modifications actually change what is demanded of the student, so you are asked to learn different content than your peers. I am under the impression that some special ED programs might allow for a modified curriculum, as im doing some research.

WRT hands on teacher stuff, I know that some students genuinely have a hard time managing their behavior in a regular classroom and can benefit from more individualized attention. We do know Damian isn't one of those students, though.

Continuing to connect this to DC comics characters, with my general lack of experience in special education in specific? If his parents were putting him in a non-mainstream-school thing I'm not sure why they would choose special ed instead of a gifted program, when both would presumably involve smaller classes with a more hands on teacher, but the special ED teacher would probably have a wide range of abilities to teach to. I think Damian also has had lots of experience working with teachers in small classroom environments (getting tutored 1-on-1 for most of his childhood :P) so I assume if he wants to learn more about peer social interaction he'd benefit more from something he's not used to, like a bigger classroom size? IDK. He's had small class sizes a lot of his life.

I do want to point out that Social Emotional Development is a current buzzword in teaching (and some people think it's getting too much attention and teachers are being asked to do things that reasonably should be parents responsibility but... :P not gonna get into teaching discourse since I do not have a lot of strong opinions on it) and lots of people want to try to work on kids development socially even in mainstream classes. However obviously that's hard with big class sizes.

Anyway TL;DR: I'm not really seeing how it would come up realistically, but take that with a grain of salt due to my lack of experience.

EDIT: Ok after reviewing my notes and a teensy bit more research, I don't think it's realistic I can't believe I fucking forgot the least restrictive environment thing XD and while obviously the least restrictive environment for any given student is not always a mainstream classroom, in many cases kids who receive special education services do spend time in mainstream classrooms, and at least in the US (which he is going to school in US so I think I can use this generalization :P) the goal admin would have is that the kids in Special ED do spend time in mainstream classrooms as they can, you don't spend like the whole day in a separate room. A lot of the general thought atm is that kids are not separate from their peers without justification.

#dc comics #anon #damian wayne

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confusedspaceotter · 1 year

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Daily avatrice analysis (day 2)

day1 day2 day3 day4 day5 day6 day7 day8 day9

Hello and welcome to day 2!

I love to see you guys adding on to my analysis! please keep doing that, agree with me, fight with me, whatever you wanna say, let's talk about avatrice together :))))

So

Season 1 Ep 3 (yes im doing this in chronological order cause why not)

ah yes the first breakthrough of avatrice

where we got some actual interaction between the two

(surprise is still not the canteen scene lol)

But here Bea said “and if she dies?” does indicate there is some level of empathy from Bea

Since she no longer view Ava as just the mission, then a actual person after seeing her

here we can see that Bea took the more soft and suggestive approach(compared to lilith which is more demanding) to calm Ava down

Further suggesting there has been a change in Bea’s attitude towards Ava(as shown in the gif below)

which leads to the first time they interacted one on one(yesss is the canteen scene)

Bear in mind that this scene happened after she sparred with(pissed off)Lilith and mother superion

She is starting to pick up that the members of the OCS didn't exactly give her the warm welcome, making this interaction more heartwarming in a way

It just makes so much sense that Beatrice is the one who welcomed Ava into the OCS

If I have to guess why

must be because this is how Beatrice feel when she first arrive to the boarding school her parents shipped her to

an outcast, the odd one out of the bunch, someone who stands out

and she doesn't want Ava to experience what she hand been through

so she decided to be the one who welcome her and try to help her fit in

Which Ava gladly accepted(I mean who wouldn’t is Bea we are talking about here)

now back to the scene

(this is kinda out of topic but NO ONE sits with Bea??? How??? Where is camila??)

reasons why I think Ava does this assessment thing and why is it important:

a. from being quadriplegic she quite literally had to intact with people by observing them since she can’t initiate the interaction with physical contact

b. confirming the avatrice endgame agenda (Bea was saving the sit for ava, and giving of friendly vibes because she wanna help/get to know ava more)

Father Simon did say that they planned Avatrice from this start so

c.she took inspiration from shows she watched and she recognize the trope(potential love interest trying to subtly interact with main protagonist)

(you can't tell me this is not what happeded lol)

anyway

Starting of a conversation with a joking manner, classic Ava silva

which were met with Bea trying to ground her to reality/truth that is Ava needs to start seeing the bigger picture here

Bea your logical is showing

Bea countering Ava’s attempts to underestimate the situation with logical explanations we love to see it

To be fair Ava is just trying to lighten the mood which is understandable but is not what Bea and rest of the OCS sees

OCS saw Ava as someone who was unfit to bear the Halo, which yeah I kinda have to agree with the OCS

but Ava’s weakness(? is also her strength

her out of the box mindset is literally what saved the world in s2

the OCS needed someone with a fresh pair of eyes

normally that would be Mary

but with Ava being the new kid in town, the collective dislike towards people/ideas that are solar opposites to the religious traditional cathlic values that OCS follows went to her instead

(okay i'm getting off topic again back to avatrice

This is where Ava realized that shit is real

People have died(Rip Shannon

Now is not the time to take things lightly

So being the kind hearted kid that she is

She asks Bea what’s Shannon like

As a way to try to comfort Bea

Really love the way Ava is looking at Bea while she is reminiscing her first encounter with Shannon

Moments like these reminds me how kid like Ava is

Yeah sure she’s an adult(19 years old is still young as hell btw, as a fellow 19 year old)

But because of what happened to her

The child like behavior never fades into adult responsibilities

The way Ava looks at Bea like a kid listening to their parents telling them stories is just ughhhhh

(Plus Alba had no reason looking this good

Avatrice really said:

Anyway the conversation ends with Bea and Ava bonding over being the odd one and Bea encouraging her to give OCS a shot

okay thats a lot of words what the hell

so i think i'm going to continue the first avatrice hug and that hallway scene tmr

stay tuned for ep 3 part 2 :)

day3

#daily avatrice analysis #wow that’s a lot of words #I honestly think that I would be able to fit ep 3 in one post lol #ava silva #sister beatrice #avatrice #warrior nun

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ozlices · 4 months

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my mom has repeatedly dismissed the idea that she has favorites between us, and yet earlier this year she literally admitted to my face that she's prioritized my abuser over me bc she's 'going through worse stuff'.

and constantly. fucking CONSTANTLY i have to hear abt my abuser, how much she's 'changed' and 'loves me' and 'wants a relationship with me' etc etc etc

and the most draining part of all of this is that i busted my ass for multiple fucking years to finally break the shackles off and get the fuck out of here, only for a selfish, heartless, absolutely piece of utter and complete shit to damn me back here.

and now, im stuck in this cycle again. where spending EIGHT HOURS on the phone trying to get my phone shit settled, and being at my absolute fucking limit bc on top of dealing w that crap, i had to listen to my abuser and her kids screaming at the top of their goddamn lungs for the past two days, and snapping to shut the fuck up,, gets me dealing w my mother holding a grudge w me.

bc 'oh let me have kids and then maybe ill understand' IT'S LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME SHE'S OVER HERE. AND SHE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE SHE FUCKING HAD KIDS. THE BRUNT OF MY ABUSER WAS LITERALLY BEING SCREAMED AT AND BERATED BY HER OVER STUPID SHIT.

/IM/ THE ASSHOLE FOR BEING INSISTENT THAT SHE HASNT CHANGED ?!?!? WHEN SHE LITERALLY HASNT FUCKING CHANGED!!!?!?!?!? SHE'S /WORSE/ NOW /BECAUSE/ SHE STILL HAD KIDS ANYWAY WHEN LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN HER LIFE WARNED HER NOT TO BC WE ALL KNEW SHE'D BE A SHITTY PARENT. AND WOW, HUGE SHOCKER, SHE IS!!!

i made the decision when i was VERY young, but also old enough to realize just how deep rooted my trauma runs & how much it affects my responses to stress & other shit, to not have human children bc i fucking KNEW. no matter how much i try to be a nice person, no matter how good my intentions try to be, i can be very nasty. i can be harsh. i can be snappy. i can be violent. i can be completely apathetic to how my actions affect other people when i'm angry enough.

i ACKNOWLEDGE that shit. i will be the first to admit when i probably went overboard, but i am so fucking sick of being put in a position where if i dont apologize for being fucking straight up verbally, emotionally, mentally, or even physically abused, & responding to that abuse like any fucking body would, ESPECIALLY a person who has existing trauma, im an asshole.

im so. fucking sick. of being alive. this year has broken me. it really, truly fucking has. i lost EVERYTHING. i dont even have a fucking doctor. i am back in the house all my trauma happened in, damned by someone i thought was my best friend who looked me dead in my eyes a month after my daughter died in my arms & told me damning me back to the house every traumatic thing ive ever gone to 'wasnt her problem'. & having to be put right back in the cycles i brutalized myself to get out of.

and the worst fucking part is that this year has left me in such shambles from stress, i physically cannot pick myself up anymore. my alters can't pick themselves up anymore. we are all so fucking burnt out, and it is so fucking draining to lie to ourselves that hope is worth it when we had it all stripped away from us repeatedly in such brutal ways. nonstop. i swear to the moon herself, i mean it when i say not one single day this entire year has been peaceful. has been free from some degree of pain, or straight up agony.

i am tired of beating myself up for being angry. i am tired of being berated by other people for being angry. FUCK all of that shit. this year, and the shitty people who refuse to fucking offer me the same empathy they DEMAND from me, have fucking destroyed me. and i DESERVE TO BE FUCKING PISSED OVER THAT SO I FUCKING WILL BE IM FUCKING PISSED FUCK THIS YEAR FUCK MY ABUSER FUCK HER GODDAMN DEFENDERS FUCK THE BITCH WHO DAMNED ME HERE FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE IT'S NEVERENDING BULLSHIT AND IM TIRED OF ACTING LIKE ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME WAS OKAY OR THAT I HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH IT!! NONE OF IT WAS OKAY!! IM NOT FUCKING OKAY WITH IT!! NOBODY FUCKING WOULD BE!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#mine #vent #abuse mention//#i had to get all this out im literally so fucking pissed #i went to get food after starving all day bc my abuser was here #and my mom stood in the kitchen doorway and glared at me for almost a full minute #and when i snapped 'what' she cursed me out. bc. u know.#i fucking snapped hearing my abuser SCREAMING for two days straight.#oh but if /i/ have a meltdown where /i/ scream and throw a ~tantrum~?#then it's 'grow the fuck up. ur so immature'.#my sister is fucking 30 years old. and has NEVER fucking honed in her anger. EVER.#but IM the immature one here. not the 30 y/o with TWO CHILDREN WHO NEVER LEARNED TO CONTROL HER ANGER #im so done.#i literally bend over backwards being everyone's goddamn therapist #& then get told im a piece of shit when i too have human emotions & reactions to TRAUMA.#im done! im done. im done.#yall want a fucking apathetic snippy selfish piece of shit i always get framed as for being fucking burnt out after being brutalized #every goddamn day & losing everything in a year? fine. im done being a therapist for fucking free & suffering in silence alone #fuck this shit

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sakura-code · 7 months

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how do Mokoto and Yuma meet each other in the misfit Au, how did yuma willing to give his trust to mokoto, it would be nice to hear more of their relationship goes to this story

it really must've took some time

p.s im so glad to be able to read more post from you,i hope your doing alright

The two meet with Makoto approaching Yuma once he was allowed to roam freely (in this AU, the CEO is still alive at the time and Makoto is known as the CEO’s adopted son), and meets him when Yuma was getting his Forte experimented at the Amaterasu Labs.

You are right that Yuma takes time to learn to trust Makoto since he does look suspicious and is overly-friendly to him. Yuma became more emotionally detached and withdrawn as a trauma response to his mom’s death, and separation from his hometown to moving into the cold, crime-filled city of Kanai Ward. He hasn’t seen any friendly faces for a long time except for Shinigami, and even then she’s considered in the same boat as him (or more specifically similar since she doesn’t have to interact to the real world like Yuma).

The same can be said for Makoto as he has to deal with the fact that he is a Homunculus and is now being groomed to become the next CEO of Amaterasu (which he believes is the only mean to really change Amaterasu itself). Still he is left bitter towards the world and the restriction he is put under by his ‘father.’ He even can’t help being bitter to Yuma because he is the original who has lived the life he remembers, while Makoto is nothing more than a copy. A shell that can be remold by others’ desires, while not allowed to be the person he was before. But he also knows Yuma has no support outside of Shinigami in Kanai Ward, and even he notes Shinigami isn’t exactly the best support Yuma needs. So he reluctantly decides to reach out to Yuma and be the support he needs (because he is still the emphatic, kind person like Yuma).

The two’s relationship definitely starts out rocky because of their own conflicting feelings with one another (Yuma unwilling to trust Makoto, and Makoto’s resentment towards Yuma). But overtime, those tensions begin to fade away and their relationship starts to blossom into a beautiful friendship (and brotherly love). With Makoto, he offers an out from Yuma being experimented and even knows he is the Death Detective but does not look down on him for it, being his support for him to talk to, and offering sanctuary from everyone at Makoto’s apartment (yes he still has his own apartment despite technically being a minor; the CEO isn’t really a good parent here). With Yuma, he offers a comforting presence for Makoto to be himself around. I hc that part of Makoto’s over-the-top, friendly nature is a facade around people. He is still over-the-top and friendly, he just takes it to the extreme around other people. In truth, he is an introvert and can be blunt and snarky (basically not as friendly as he makes himself out to be), even though he is still a sincere person. Yuma doesn’t judge him and encourages him to let his (metaphorical) mask down around him, which he does.

Their relationship will definitely be explored overtime in the AU, as Makoto’s secret and Amaterasu’s darkness will come to light as one of the overarching plotline. And their relationship is challenged as well (Makoto may be more friendly with Yuma, but I’m still gonna make him a morally grey, complex character).

Also, thank you so much for your concerns and support. I’ve been really busy irl with college classes demanding my attention, and trying to put a little more focus on myself outside of social media. Plus some writer’s block and my perfectionism getting in the way as well. I’m just trying to make sure I thought out the ideas of my AUs well (even though I also post some of the ideas would be brainstorming and some parts of the AU may have changed as well). My posts may still be infrequent with my schedule, but I can assure you I am still alive.

#master detective archives: rain code #yuma kokohead #makoto kagutsuchi #rain code au #master detective archives spoilers #rain code spoilers #master detective archives au #master detective archives chapter 5 spoilers #master detective archives: rain code spoilers #brotherly love #their relationship is just beautiful and special #won’t lie I thought you were asking about Yuma and Makoto’s relationship in the Dual Swords AU when I first read it #the two’s relationship is still important in the Misfit AU as well of course #I might be getting a little obsess with Yuma and Makoto’s relationship

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armandjolras · 8 days

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This will be rambly and overly personal, but ive been wanting to talk about Fosca as chronic illness representation, and why the musical version of her is especially relatable in this sense.

(I also haven’t read the book, so maybe some changes im attributing to the musical are from the book)

In the movie, Fosca’s illness almost seems an extension of her ugliness, meant to horrify the viewer. Ugliness takes focus as her main burden; we’re told that she was shunned for her looks as a child and are shown many jumpscare shots of her face. Sickness is merely a consequence of ugliness. When not acutely ill, she seems quite healthy, even energetic. (Obviously having seizures is a very serious illness in real life, i just mean the way it’s presented in the movie).

Most interesting to me, she doesn’t seem depressed at all; she’s quite upbeat and witty. Her manipulative toxicity in the movie doesn’t come from depression, but rather because she’s never been treated as a woman due to being an outcast, so she doesn’t feel she has to adhere to the decorum of one.

In the musical, I see Fosca’s illness as being much more than just an extension of being ugly. It appears to affect her continuously between acute episodes, and she moves wearily as if fighting pain and discomfort at every moment. While suffering over ugliness still caused her illness in this version, that ugliness is not as emphasised. We’re told that her parents loved her rather than shunning her, so she wasn’t an outcast, and she’s depicted as more pathetic spinster than scary Nosferatu.

She is also clearly depressed. In my opinion, her toxic behaviour comes not from flouting social norms, but from the desperation of depression. Maybe others also relate to being depressed and behaving badly as a cry for help, unable to stop despite knowing you’re being toxic, because you need acknowledgment from people. I see Fosca’s behaviour this way. Georgio is the first person who is nice to her, so she physically can’t stop trying to extract love from him by any means, even when she admits she’s in the wrong.

I relate to Fosca strongly in this. Since 2020 I’ve struggled with multiple chronic illnesses which have limited my physical abilities; today I cant even sit upright for more than 15 minutes, some days less. Since I dont have any family or friends in the country where I’m living, and went through diagnosis and surgery alone mid Covid, at times I’ve felt very isolated. In 2022 i could tell I was behaving a lot like Fosca — I didnt do anything super toxic, but I was putting too much emotional burden on my long-distance parents even as I knew I was stressing them out and upsetting them. It felt like such a compulsion, because I was scared and isolated and wanted someone else to know how much I was suffering so I wouldn’t be alone it it. I’m much healthier mentally now, but that took therapy and medication which Fosca doesn’t have. Its a terrible feeling to see your world getting smaller and your dreams becoming less possible, and going through that alone.

I’ve had a lot of frustration towards how my illnesses have limited what I can do, and i have to make an effort not to be resentful towards healthier people. The line “I read about the joys the world / Dispenses to the fortunate / And listen for the echoes” really captures this. “I know how soon a dream becomes an expectation / How can I have expectations?” When your world gets smaller, you have to give up your hopes bit by bit so you dont get hurt. “Look at me / No, captain, look at me / Look at me!” In her desperation she demands his attention, even when she knows she’s being rude and repelling him, she just feels compelled to connect with someone.

I know “I Read” can be interpreted as being about her ugliness rather than of physical illness, and maybe that actually is the correct interpretation. But I’m very convinced that musical Fosca is depressed in a way that movie Fosca is not, and most of her words and actions stem from that. I also believe that by placing less emphasis on her shocking ugliness, it only makes since that a lot of her suffering is due to her physical illness.

(And I also relate to Fosca’s final letter, where she says that appreciating the beauty in the world around you makes you want to go on living. Being ill has taught me to be much more grateful for small things in life.)

Other disclaimers: I dont mean Fosca’s suffering in the movie is NOT about her illness, in both versions its a combo of ugliness + illness. I just think they’re in different ratios. Also im not trying to be a Fosca apologist, I know shes super toxic and a stalker and essentially an incel, and also super annoying, I just understand her perspective. And finally I do like movie Fosca! Shes iconic I just relate to musical Fosca more.

#passion musical #sorry this is so personal and tmi I just wanted to share!#Interested whether others feel the same about movie vs musical fosca #its ok to interact with/reblog/etc this post btw

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deedoop · 2 years

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Billy has been a brat all day. No. Scratch that. Hes been a fucking asshole all day. Steve Harrington knows Billy, knows him inside and out, knows hes lashing and self destructing and pushing everyone away. It doesn't take a genuis to realize Billy had a bad night, his left eye is swollen shut and Steve knows damn well what that means. Every time though Steve tries to confort him, hug him, talk to him, Billy pushes him away. They actually ended up having a screaming match in the middle of the mall after a whole day of fucking shitty behavior and Steve had enough. "Get in the car Billy." His voice is demanding, no room for arguing. Billy is unwraveling, exploding, shrinking and bottling up every emotion, going off like a shrapnel filled bomb. Steve half expects Billy to beat the shit out of him. To his surprise Billy actually gets into the car and it is a very silent ten minute drive to Steves big empty house. He unlocks the door and looks to Billy..self imploding Billy. Steve sits on his parents expensive couch, eyes narrowed, "Get over my lap." Came his hiss. Inside his hearts pounding, nervous. "Wha- fuck off Harrington. Fuck-" "Billy." Its a demand, hes pissed off. Pissed off at Billys shitty insults, his fighting, his lashing. He grabs Billy, pulling him over his lap. He gives him a moment. If Billy gets up, he will let him leave. All Steve wants to do is take control, direct the explosion away. Billy stills his breath slow and deep, hes staring at the marbled flooring, heart pounding. Steve pulls down his jeans and takes flesh in his hand, rubbing and squeezing. He hits. Its a loud smack and Billy jolts forward, biting his lip. Steves spanking him and Billy goes bright red. He likes it. "You do not get to push everyone around you Billy!" Another smack, another, another. "You dont get to act like a spoiled brat!" Billy is crying, openly weeping. Hes pretty sure Steves hand print is tattooed on his ass. It hurts. It hurts in the best kind of way and Steve..lovely beautiful Steve is rubbing his pained rear, massaging the globes of flesh. Billy is heaving with tears, it hurts his eye, it heals his soul. Hes shaking, its utter catharsis. Steve slowly moves Billy, hes bulky and heavy and admittedly he struggles, but he pulls him into a warm tight hug, rocking the sobbing man. "Im here..im here.." Steve whispers, wiping snot and tears from the blotchy red face. "I-Im s-sorry. Im so s-sorry." Billy wails harder, face buried into Steves neck. Billy needs Steve. Steve who unlocks his heart when he buries it deep in a vault, who somehow manages to get him to exorcize these feelings before he goes insane. His ass hurts. A soft giggle through the tears and Steve is kissing his teary cheeks.."Im the worst." Billy mumbled with a half hearted snort. Steve shakes his head, "Youre the best Billy." And that makes Billy lip quiver.."You ready to..maybe go tell Hopper whats going on?" And Billy tenses, hes locking himself back away and Steve changes the subject quickly. They'd get there. Today wasnt that day.

#billy hargrove #stranger things #harringrove #steve harrington #is this love #i tried #i am equally bad with emotions billy #not a lemon?#lemon territory #like a uhhh lime #is that a term?#i was like gonna do a lemon #but than i was like haha no #sad billy gets mother steve #im proud of this one

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dongpound · 3 months

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i demand to know more of your oc's (also im trying to catch up on your space au fic its been so long since i last read it)

OH MY GOD IT DIDNT GET EATEN BY TUMBLR

Anon™️ I’m using your ask as like a sticky note of oc ideas specifically Tundra dude there’s SO much I’m so sorry I got into the hyper focus zone

Tundra’s name is actually Alejandra Citlali Osorio-Cruz and through the series she’s just about to turn 16 in season 1 and roughly 19-20 by Season 5 (give or take how the fuck you think time works in 2012 bc I think it takes place over 3-4 years season 5 included)

Tundra came about as a nickname when she was a kid and got super hyper-fixated on professional wrestling and like. She made an entire persona and lore. Alec started using her wrestling name as a silly nickname and it stuck.

Yes I did come up with a stupid cute reason behind the name Tundra bc I can not handle the fact I chose such a BAD oc name for a LION but like I can’t change it NOW!! I MADE HER IN LIKE 2015 SHES TOO OLD TO CHANGE IT

Xever did just think for the longest time Tundra WAS her name. He also just assumed that Alec and Chris adopted a child for fun.

Her bio parents Ixchel and Alejandro were really good friends of Alec and Chris for like. Well over a decade. Ixchel and Alec especially. Ixchel was an actress (like I would say their worlds equivalent of Selma Hayek) and Alejandro worked in music production.

They didn’t have a ton of family they kept in contact with, so Alec and Chris were named Alejandra’s legal guardians if anything happened to them. They sadly died in a plane crash when Tundra was around 1.

This feels like SOOOO edgy and silly to me now but like I literally can’t see Alec and Chris adopting a kid any other way than the guilt of losing their friends pushing them to do it. WHICH SOUNDS BAD. AND LIKE IT IS. However they still love and raise Alejandra as their own, if anything Chris is like. Somewhat distant bc he still has his career but Alec’s like “fuck yeah I get to raise a kid again” and kinda slips from the spotlight. Which is fine by them , they’re like 600 years old they can just have messy fun in the public eye another time

Tundra goes fucking THROUGH IT emotionally through the series. Like goes from would do anything for Chris and Alec (especially Chris who. Again. Was distant and she desperately wanted his approval) to the point where like. She’s yknow. Mutated, to growing resentful of them when Hachi enters the picture (especially when she has to take care of him) to like. Low key betraying the foot and joining the mutanimals in season 3. And then having to deal w Chris being resurrected temporarily in season 5 after a really chill and happy 2 years with her mom and little brother like it’s a LOT.

In season 1 she’s very much a “mean girl” stereotype and slowly evolves into Cool And Gay (but still a little better than you)(she. She gets that from her upbringing.)

Tundra and Karai are seen as like a duo/bffs up until season 2 after the whole “I’m not shredders daughter” thing happens. They grow distant (obviously) until season 4.

So like Alec and Chris are NOT the best parents and like. They did totally just let Tundra take Hachi to live w her and the Mutanimals in season 4. She’d already been in space w him for 6 months and the poor kid really didn’t want to go live in the woods. I have such a specific scene in mind for this and I want to write it out so bad. Anyway tundra basically becomes a teen mom for a little bit. Eldest daughters am I right? *plays class of 2013 by mitski*

Tundra has a modified mini van which she does haul all of her friends who can fit in. Apologies to leatherhead and slash . No she doesn’t have a license

She also has a bike. These two vehicles she did canonically find on the side of the highway and she convinced Donnie and Casey to help her fix them

Tundras in a punk (? Maybe more Pop punk ) band called The Muties (my other characters Jack and Spinstra are in it. also Mondo. Sometimes Raph fills in on drums if Spinstra can’t make it). Tundra and Jack switch off on vocals, she’s usually on bass. They started up in the down time between seasons 4 and 5. They play in Moira’s Menagerie (a mutants only bar and hall) every week on Fridays. Alec comes to nearly all of their shows and also they bring Hachi sometimes when they practice and he’ll play his DS.

Alec will also force their friends (I.e. Apep, Anton, Ivan and Xever) to come watch Tundra w the promise of drinks and she thinks it’s embarrassing every fucking time bc they’re SO LOUD and OBVIOUS and god she could just DIE (but also. Having the support makes her happy)

Alec WILL slam back 3 tequila shots and go on about how talented their daughter is.

Chris got to see her play once. And it was when he was resurrected. And Tundra, frankly, was not thrilled. Another one I wanna write

#thanks for reading all that I love Alejandra and she deserves the world #oc tag #I’m a little embarrassed by how much I wrote but I’ve been in a big tundra mood lately

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flower-zombie-rob · 11 months

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My guy you are not obligated to love your emotionally abusive mother and you are not a bad person for hating someone who mistreats you like that constantly.

In fact, thinking just bc she's your mother you're required to love and respect her is lowkey the abuse working on you. Don't let your brain wire itself that way. She's not entitled to your love, respect and obedience just bc she decided to push you out of her and you are not her personal dress-up doll. Fuck what she says about your hair and clothing choices, you're you, not whatever warped version of you she expects you to be.

And idk if she's aware you have RSD or a dif neurological disorder, but RSD is a common trait in neurodivergent people and if she's taking advantage of it knowingly, that's ableist as shit.

You don't owe her SHIT. You're valid the way you are and you have every right to hate someone who constantly tears you down, fucks with your emotions and self-image, acts entitled to your autonomy, and demands you take all of it with a smile. Fuck her dude. Don't let her convince you you're the problem.

I've been there with my dad in the past. I know the feel to a certain degree. It's a lot of mental gymnastics but if you keep rationalizing things and disregarding everything she says because YOU know you best, you'll come out of it a little less fucked up one day.

I really apreciate the kindness and support people have given me reguarding this. For most unaware, i do have self diagnosed adhd(educated guess, i just fit all the symptoms and it explains a lot of my life experiences. Am planning on trying to get a clinical diagnosis soon) and it causes me to have a lot of sensitivity to critisism and it causes a lot of self hatred. I have a lot of perfectionism and even though she's a really good parent and she loves and supports me some of the things she says as a very judgy person just hit me a lot in a very personal way. Shes not someone that takes critisism very well herself and because im non confrontational person i dont like to rock the boat. Shes not abusive, not at least the way i would consider emotional abuse, but i feel she does sometimes just not have this awareness of my senstitivity, especially when her critisisms are so often on the basis of me doing non-heteronormative things. Having an androgynous hairstyle, dying my hair colours she doesnt like, dressing in a way thats more conventionally too queer for her(even though she'd never word it like that) and the way she'll constantly encourage me to change who i am just really leads to self hatred. I wont do these things because they wont make me happy, but the critisisms lead to this sense of self hatred and self conciousness in moments where i once felt confident. An example of this is the robbie the zombie cosplay i did for comic con this weekend. I litterally chose the day where id wake up in a hotel and have time at the end of the day to change into something more normal that she wouldnt mind me wearing before i got home bevause i knew her first comment would be a critisism. She gets angry with me using a rude tone with her that I'm not aware I'm using simply because whenever she comes to talk to me I make the immediate assumption that she's going to say something that will feel like she's tearing me down. This perfectionism complex I have can lead to a lot of the things that she says just feeling like I'm not good enough for her. I'm planning on trying to work through it in therapy when I start it but it's just a general thing that I have to deal with in every once in a while it really hits me all-in-one go when I have multiple things stressing out. I don't think she's emotionally abusive and she really does look out for me and support me in so many ways, but it's just that with this aspect of our relationship she hasn't seemed to have reached that point where she allows me to have freedom of expression without any form of judgement from her. I'm trying to move on from it and soon enough when I get my own place or when I move out or when I get a partner or just a better support system and found family in general I won't have to feel so judged and consumed by what she wants for me. Until then it's just this rejection sensitivity thing that I'm going to have to work through and suffer with because of this major issue with criticism and perfection is and that I have for myself.

It's really sweet the amount of people on here that are really supporting me though and saying really sweet things about me. The way my mother reacts to my opinion on how I look makes me feel unattractive and ugly and like I would look better wearing things that I don't want to wear. When I post pictures of myself on here however people react to it in a way that makes me feel really good about myself and proves to me that her opinion is not the only one i should listen to. I'm still yet to sort this out with her because I don't like to confront her on this kind of thing. She reacts very viscerally and attends with me usually just feeling guilty and like a horrible person so until I can get past the way she manipulates my words during confrontations I'm just going to have to find myself some confidence in a place that isn't her and deal with the criticism.

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