#and it's helped me get more comfortable w/ posting stuff to the main tags where a lot of people can see
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second(?) nonart/nonwriting post i've put in the outlast tag but i literally do not enter fandom spaces very often because bad experiences gave me extremely overwhelming anxiety which means i have no idea when a fandom's like... okay or not and not knowing freaks me tf out so—
what's the usual reaction to canon divergent aus? good? bad? is the outlast fandom nice on ao3? genuinely want to know.
ig if you're curious on details uhh... here it's abt outlast au stuff:
i can safely say i have a solid outlast au now and while there's def bits in it that are different it's the outlast 2 part that is like. the most canon-divergent. that and the murkoff account epilogue events would be different—
no antichrist stuff. idk i just didn't like it man 🤷🏾
different prophecy shit that's blood + bloodline-centric so it doesn't change A LOT of shit as far as i've worked on it??
still involves blake & lynn and everyone wants to kill them it's just for different reasons
lynn also runs around temple gate
lynn also lives
lynn & miles are siblings
walrider + miles presence
can the walrider for sure shapeshift bc walrider shapeshifting into a bunch of fucking ants sounds so much funnier than walrider possessed ants. imagine it for me.
radio tower foundations are found completely crumbled and a main power generator is destroyed. a few of murkoff's men + miriam (an oc) go investigate an hour before pauline arrives at the chapel and they find miles unconscious nearby and bring him down
basically he, lynn, and blake all get sent to elrich and get stuck there for a fairly long time. at least a month or two
only reason they even get medical attention at elrich is so they don't suddenly have any complications that render them useless too early and also they need miles alive bc he's the host of the walrider (and exactly what murkoff wanted when they funded the project) AND besides they're all equal leverage bc they're family
waylon, through a few extra hands of other people trying to stop murkoff, discovers where these three are and w/ a friend of miles + the langermann's & lisa, they go to elrich to fuck up the security footage and save them
#lysander chatters#outlast#someone respond pls i don't wanna have to make a guess lmao#i'm just. very socially awkward/anxious idk how to talk to people & i've grown a fear of being percieved by fandoms#i like to think i'm doing great! at least doing BETTER than previous years my blog's been findable in searches for months!#(it wasn't for a while)#anyway that said literally putting this in the tag bc y'all've been really??? nice so far????#and it's helped me get more comfortable w/ posting stuff to the main tags where a lot of people can see#sorry for rambling in tags but if you read these hi thanks for enduring my constant tag ramblings fjhshdb
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Pedro Pascal Character Fanfiction Recs | Vol 31
AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist
Howdy folks!
New blog theme, new TSD format. Do we like it? Welcome to volume 31 of The Spreadsheet Digest, my weekly(ish) fic rec post. From now on I'll link my personal stuff plus the masterlist where you can find the actual spreadsheet, my fic rec masterlist, and info about how to appear on this list in the future.
All info provided by the author unless it was blank, in which case I filled it in.
Fic Recs Below!
Freeze-thaw
Joel one shot by @covetyou
Summary: With your holiday plans ruined when a freak snow storm blows through town, you spend the fesitve period holed up with your partner, Joel Miller, learning exactly how warm you can keep each other in the snow.
Tags: no outbreak, fluff, smut, fingering, playing in the snow, temperature play, Joel probs has super bad circulation, established relationship but it's their first Christmas together and reader has some relationship insecurities
This Barbie Likes Objectification
Joel one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear
Summary: after a fun date seeing Barbie with joel, he realizes a certain scene involving brainwashed barbie dolls has inspired some nasty desires in you. he's more than willing to help you explore them.
Tags: explicit sexual content (18+), no specified ages (but obviously both adults), objectification, degradation, humiliation kink, dirty talk, creampie, unprotected sex, dom!joel, sub!reader, slight spoiler for the Barbie movie
Patience
Javi P one shot by @foli-vora
Summary: Javier teaches you to be patient
Tags: smut: fingering, oral sex (f receiving), praise kink, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap that willy before getting silly), creampie, restraints/use of handcuffs, orgasm denial, smoking, swearing
Stay Close to Me
Jack one shot by @alwaysbethewest
Summary: You're a rookie agent sent to work undercover with Jack as a married couple!
Tags: Fake/undercover marriage! Statesman casefic! A little romance, kissing, coarse language, very mild peril and hurt/comfort, and a splash of alcohol. Reader is a junior agent and has some muscle but otherwise no physical/age descriptions. As with any good Kingsman fic, my first step was to disregard half of canon, so this is either pre-movie or an AU.
No Me Suletes
Frankie one shot by @fhatbhabie
Summary: Even though he's bad for you, you still can't let him go.
Tags: Marcus Pike cameo, smut, unprotected p in v, talks of oral, angst angst angst!!, being left at a chapel, cheating, death of a spouse, drug use (buggar sugar) , smoking cigarettes, asshole!Frankie, spanish dialect w/ translations, no use of Y/N, cute pet names, splash of fluff for 2 seconds, someone having a stroke with a small description, no happy ending
Poolside
Javi G one shot by @joelscruff
Summary: just some fun by the pool with sugar daddy!javi
Tags: blowjobs, deepthroating, brief ball worship, daddy kink, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, bad google translate spanish, sweat
"Din"scord Kitten
Din one shot by @beskarandblasters
Summary: When bounty hunting doesn’t work out anymore Din has to turn to alternative methods to support himself.
Tags: this is a crack fic lmao, Discord/Venmo/Dr. Pepper existing in Star Wars, bad sexting, dick pics, masturbating, bad Star Wars puns, sex work, cummies needs its own warning 😭, pet names (cyar’ika), oral sex (M receiving), cum eating, no use of y/n
Another Time, Baby
Joel one shot by @swiftispunk
Summary: joel makes good on a promise.
Tags: established relationship, porn no plot, smut, age gap (28/50), unprotected anal sex, vaginal fingering, use of a butt plug, joel miller eats ass and pussy and also has a big dick, some affectionate spanking, creampie, cum play (eating and sharing), a little bit of spit, just a lot of bodily fluids all around, one (1) poetic description of a queef, joel miller's filthy mouth, pet names, ysd!joel at his most soft dom, joel's also kind of feral in this, multiple orgasms, sweet sweet aftercare, pov swap. no use of y/n.
Suburbia (I gave it a lil name, sorry).
Lucien drabble by @julesonrecord
Summary: You can't stay away from him, nor do you really try
Tags: Explicit; angst; oral (m receiving); implied infidelity; past relationship. Suburbia (shudder).
Misunderstood
Marcus P one shot by @magpiepills
Summary: Marcus has a bad day at work and needs you to help him feel better.
Tags: SMUT, established relationship, PIV, oral (f and m receiving) fingering, big dick Marcus, multiple orgasms, thumb sucking, cum eating, cum swapping, Marcus eats it from behind, dirty talk, roughish sex, some degradation, tiny little splash of daddy, porn with no plot, no regard for canon, use of a tie as a leash sort of?, alcohol consumption, pancakes, cardigans, NPR, idk what else man, this is not fluffy Marcus.
Wrest Pin
Din series by BalletOrchard (AO3)
Summary: “I can help you escape the planet,” Mando said sharply, “But I want information in return.” She looked up at him through the small hairs on her face and she whispered, sounding almost lost…As if she didn’t know what else to say… “I have no information.” Something Mando did not believe.
Tags: panic attacks, force sensitive!reader, unprotected PinV sex, smut, mando is a dick, angst, slow burn (romantically), touch starved!din, bickering, arguing, post season 1, fluff, ofc!evangeline, she like doesn’t get off the first time they fuck which i feel like is worth noting, feelings of regret, minor character death (evangeline’s whole fam), follows canon, mando lowkey keeping evangeline against her will but like she’s hiding from the empire so, near death experience(s), the helmet comes off, oral f receiving, blindfolding, shower sex
A Weight Off Your Shoulders
Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles
Summary: a series of oneshots in chronological order that follow the story of Joel and his new neighbor who returns to Texas following a devastating breakup and called off engagement. With her life completely uprooted and her self-confidence shot, she works through moving on to bigger and better things. Enter DILF neighbor Joel Miller.
Tags: age gap (Joel mid 40s, neighbor late 20s), cheating, negative body image, negative self-talk, discussions of body image struggles
The Peg That Middle Aged Man Campaign 2024 Masterlist
Call for Pegging Fics!
PMAMC on AO3
Trussed Up - I pegged Jack Daniels
Happy Reading!
#fic recs#the spreadsheet digest#fanfiction recommendations#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfiction#ppcu fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfiction
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
got tagged by @milkteamoon! ^^
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? // 176!
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? // 866,977
3. What fandoms do you write for? // Mainly TMA the last few years; previously, I wrote a lot of OPM fic. I'd say those are easily my two 'biggest' fandoms in terms of being actively involved and writing fic for them. I'll also write fic of other things I enjoy though, so I have a lot of one-shots and short series for other things too!
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? // Sticking with TMA fic for this one, so:
What Lies Beyond the Frame (rated G, jmart) — A minor AU where I give Jon a new Beholding power, letting him see through his glasses when he's not wearing them. One of my earliest works for the fandom! I'm actually surprised to find it at the top of this list.
off-the-clock assistance (rated E, jmart) — An AOB fic taking place during the iconic Martin Living In The Archives era. I wrote this after realizing that other TMA smut fics had taught me I actually DO enjoy fisting as a concept, lol.
The Kissing Game (rated T, jmart) — A lighthearted, Christmas-y fic where Jon, Tim, and Sasha get into a competitive little holiday game of trying to catch Martin under the mistletoe. This one was very fun to write and I quite like how I ultimately wrapped it up.
A Friendly Favor (rated E, martim) — An AU where Tim and Martin are friends with benefits! I used to be very into martim when I first got into the fandom... I do still enjoy them, but we all know where my main focus/energy ultimately started going hehe. This one ended up developing into a tiny series of fics in the same setting.
Sizing Up (rated E, jmart) — Wherein Jon discovers that Martin is a size queen. This one was based off a stupid little comic I drew and is probably the closes I've gotten to writing a 'crack fic', though I wouldn't call it that - it's more in terms of the Energy I brought to writing it? Just doing something with a very silly base concept but taking it (mostly) seriously.
5. Do you respond to comments? // I do sometimes, if I feel like I have anything worth saying! Sometimes I'll respond with a simple 'thank you' or variation thereof if someone says something particularly nice though ;w;
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? // Kind of a difficult question honestly... I don't really write 'angsty' endings to my fic, even if they do have a darker tone or a lot of angst in the middle somewhere; I'm not really a hurt-no-comfort guy. I also think it's hard to say whether an ending is angsty because it can kinda depend on the perspective of the character(s) and I'd say generally, when I'm doing things as I intended, even if the ending is a bit dark, that doesn't ring as angsty to me?
If I HAD to choose one... maybe when the dream ends, a very old, Sans-centric Undertale fic I wrote where he experiences disorienting dissociation and deja vu of other timelines post-pacifist ending. It has a hopeful conclusion, but still leans heavily on his feelings of detachment, vague depression, and anxiety from feeling like everything around him is impermanent and repetitive.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? // Hm, approaching this in terms of fic where the happiness of the end feels earned, that'd probably go to The Taste of Midnight, my witch!Jon AU fic where he has to save his town from a disastrous force (with Martin's help). The final chapter, once the plot is resolved, is very idyllic and fluffy - a nice, pleasant conclusion for all the dramatic stuff that happened!
8. Do you get hate on fics? // I've gotten hate on a fic ONCE, as far as I can remember! It was for Deep V (rated E), a fic where Jon is trans and has dysphoric feelings about his chest, but decides he wants to try improving his relationship to it via kink. I made the mistake of openly asking for feedback on it when I posted it, and one of the more well-known assholes in the fandom (which I would learn after the fact), left a very nasty comment on it basically scolding me for even having written/shared it in the first place. Luckily I got a lot of useful advice and more friendly feedback/encouragement from much cooler people in the fandom, which was very nice and helped keep my feelings towards the fic largely positive! A harrowing but imo good learning experience in the end.
9. Do you write smut? // Yup! I have for a long time. It's generally my favorite kind of fic to read as well as write, though my tastes have been refining the last couple of years. I could write a whole big thing on my feelings about smut fic but I'll refrain this time!
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? // I don't think I've ever written a crossover fic! Right now, the closest I've gotten is vaguely contributing too (and loudly supporting the creation of) a Murderbot/Among Us fic my roomie started a year or two ago. Which I need to continue yelling at them to publish... hehe.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? // Boy I sure hope not!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? // Yes, actually! Someone asked for permission to translate my OPM fic The Apron (rated E) into Russian! This is wild to me.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? // Yes, I'm actually co-writing one now with my friend V! It's an edited version of a long-going Jondaisy RP called Open Door (rated E). It's been a fun (if slow-going) project; it's an interesting challenge to go through an RP where we're each playing one character's part and try to edit it into a state that makes it more natural to read for others.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? // Jon/Daisy!!!! You might want to call recency bias, but they are simply Everything To Me that I've ever needed in a ship, actually, it's kind of insane how much of a hold they've taken over me. I look back on my older ships and I enjoy them all very much, but nothing hits the way jaisy does. I fear nothing else ever will... they're my true OTP...
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? // I have quite a few... A lot that I really want to go back to... Probably my most ambitious and least likely would be And Only Space Stood Between Them, which is an unfinished Oban Star Racers fic that would've involved interplanetary space travel, worldbuilding for a planet and alien species that was only VERY lightly explored in the anime, two protagonists/alternating POVs, a huge cast of supporting characters, an overarching plot amidst a star-racing competition, and a developing friendship/romance(?) between Eva and Aikka. I had SUPER big aspirations for it, and only got to the 4th chapter, when Eva first leaves Earth to head for his home planet. In a perfect world I would write this space epic..... It is my dear wish that... maybe someday...................
16. What are your writing strengths? // I've been told I'm good at writing in-character, which I greatly appreciate as feedback and dearly hope is true. I personally think I'm actually pretty decent at naturalistic dialogue, which I often hear is a difficult aspect of writing for folks. I think I'm generally good at pacing too, and I'd like to say that descriptive imagery is a solid strength of mine, though that's an element of writing often subject to taste...
17. What are your writing weaknesses? // I have no idea if it's a real weakness but I often get self-conscious about my writing being boring or repetitive or trite or something, despite people telling me this isn't the case when I've asked. I think it's just a case of, despite how long I've been writing, I'm still relatively young and have a lot to learn; I'm still finding my confidence in my unique voice and what I'm good at.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? // At the moment I only feel comfortable dabbling with the inclusion of Spanish, and only because I've been actively trying to learn it for a year. Even then, I basically only use it if I'm writing something with canonically Spanish-speaking characters. As a reader, it's something I really like to encounter when done well! Especially as a way to explore a diverse headcanon for a character.
19. First fandom you wrote for? // Pokemon!
20. Favorite First fic you’ve written? // (I actually misread this question, then decided to keep my first answer, because I'm so bad at picking a favorite fic! Honestly!)
Anyways, in terms of my first fic: it was a Pokemon fic with no main title. It's about a girl named Kim with a Charmander starter. She visits a pokemon center after adopting an abandoned and injured Growlithe, only to realize the center has been infiltrated by Team Rocket, who attempt to steal the Pokemon being healed there. I have an original, printed version of this fic in my stuff somewhere! I've daydreamed about making a comic out of it while keeping all the original narration/dialogue.
Okay, now I tag my dear friends. Obvs only do this if you want to~
@temporalreplicsimile , @callmearcturus, @zykaben, @ostentenacity
#endlesschatter#my fic#woahg writing all this took longer than i thought LOL#fun though thanks for tagging me milky!
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Fic Writing Review 2023
We're solidly into 2024 by now, and considering I posted my first anything in August this isn't exactly a full year review. But let's go!!
Words and Fics
134,798 words published to ao3 (um? how???)
It's all DC fic!!
Most recent (completed): What's In A Name?
Most recent (updated): (Love) Triangles Have Multiple Centers
Longest fic: An Honest Conversation (60k. Jesus. It was supposed to be a oneshot, what HAPPENED)
Top 3 by Comments
I'm copying burins and doing this by comments instead of kudos, because...well, why not. And wow, these are all superbat romcoms! Huh! I am predictable.
An Honest Conversation (you never forget your first! Idiots to FWB to lovers, with lots of mutual pining)
(Love) Triangles Have Multiple Centers (identity porn love square hijinks, current main WIP)
Padam Padam (a comedically pornographic reinterpretation of misattribution of arousal)
Personal Favorite
(Love) Triangles is probably the most fun to work on/plan out because comedy is where I feel most comfortable, but I think the one I'm most proud of is What's In A Name? It was a departure from my usual to write a story and relationship with a slightly darker tone, and it was fun letting myself get self-indulgently wanky with Themes and Parallels in what's basically a soft kink PWP. It feels like personal growth in more than one dimension!
Upcoming Projects for 2024
Ooh boy I have quite a few stories I'm eager to finish. Listed below in an order that makes sense to me, but that I couldn't for the life of me explain:
Bruce and Clark go on a Big Night Out to help Clark get over his recent break-up with Lois, having figured out how to get Clark drunk for the first time in his life. Thus ensues the kind of tragic love story you'd hear from that drunk girl crying in the club bathroom, but superbat.
The coming of age story for Super Sons Jon that I never got to read (thanks Bendis). Featuring bi panic, the horror of puberty, the EXTRA horror of puberty-plus-laser-vision, and Jon's questionable taste in crushes (aka Damian).
Superbat again, whoops. Another fluffy miscommunication romcom in which Bruce gets impatient waiting for his boyfriend Clark to make a move. (Clark does not in fact know that they are dating.)
Jason Todd genfic. It's in a document I've titled "Jason child abuse thing", which pretty much sums it up. A slightly darker character study about Jason's childhood pre-Bruce that's too self-indulgent to be comics accurate.
Departing briefly from DC, I also have a slightly ambitious (probably gen) post-canon fic for The Great Ace Attorney, because it's an excellent game series, and when I finished it I had a lot of Feelings about the way it ended. I took a break due to the DC brainrot, but I hope to return to it this year.
The above are all things I have words written for, but I also have a bunch of things I want to write but haven't nailed down enough detail for yet:
Cloisbat. I just think Bruce and Lois should get to be catty and jealous at each other over Clark, and then resolve their differences by double teaming him. I think they'd enjoy that.
Batlantern. Just...anything. I love their dynamic, but why can't I think of any good fic ideas? (Answer: I have read 0 GL comics.)
Something something Bruce/Constantine. I accidentally became invested after reading the Zatanna substory in Batman: Urban Legends. Also, I feel like Constantine would be fun as hell to write. (Zatanna could totally join too, if she wanted.)
Cat Grant/Lois. Look, I don't know where this came from either, but doesn't it feel like this should be more of a thing? I feel like it should be a thing. They're femme4femme but in opposite ways. They're foils. There's something there, I'm not crazy!
Rules and Tags
Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some qualitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to share unpublished stuff instead? Change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.
Tagged by @burins! Thanks, I really appreciate the tag!
Tagging: @unbreakabledawn @ginbenci and anyone else who wants to do this!
#fic writing review 2023#my fic#and btw if anyone has fic ideas along the lines of anything mentioned above I'd be v happy to hear them#being stuck kinda sucks actually? who knew
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ik you're away (and im probably conked out en sleeping) but can you explain to me like. how to manage this stuff? ToT I've never srs used ao3 before and i don't wanna like. mess up stuff
SORRY if this is too much . wodjis. im on mobile if it helps anything!!
hey hey hey! yes ofc can try to help here :D disclaimer im not the best at explaining these and others may know more than me but will try!
okay so it seems like you've got a rating already-- the way that I think about ratings (since sometimes the details of which goes where get confusing) is that if it's pretty light hearted and has only very minor mention of heavier themes put it in General, Teen and Up for things that aren't super intense but reference some heavier subjects and use strong language (most fics in this fandom I feel slot into teen), Mature is for fics that have like a lot of violence etc
so Archive warnings Im like extremely bad at but basically those are for things that are like central stuff happening in the fic. If there's only minor violence I don't think you'd need the Graphic tag but if the fic frequently has some intense graphic fight scenes you might want to put that on. If the fic has none of the ones listed (note: not that they have no triggers at all, just that they dont have anything listed under archive warnings), mark No Archive Warnings apply. if there's like a surprising twist ending where a main character dies and you dont want to spoil, you can use Choose not to pick archive warning
uhhh for the most part fandoms should be easy, if you're working with a series that has several types of media in it, you may find a general tag for it and then a media-specific one; no harm in tagging both
for categories you're going to want to go with the ones that are front and center I would say. if its a fic focused on a lesbian couple but it has another gay couple of two guys that are present in the fic very actively, I would tag both M/M and W/W, but if that said gay couple weren't super present and just had a few lines, just tag W/W. hope that makes sense! Gen is for no romantic relationship, Other is... tricky but I see people use it for polyamorous dynamics or sometimes nonbinary pairings. Multi is just if there are multiple ones like the first example
ALRIGHT The relationships bar can be platonic or romantic, IF YOU ARE DOING PLATONIC/FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIP USE THE & SYMBOL whereas if you're doing something romantic USE /. if you're doing something queerplatonic I'll typically say go for & . tag just the main ones that come up like if it references a relationship happening way in the background don't put that there but otherwise ya include the main ones
if it's just a single person character study with no relationships leave it blank
characters again just go for the main ones!
okay my least favorite part of posting a fic: Additional Tags. It's hard to figure out what things go there, but what I would recommend including (non conclusive list just some stuff I see a lot) is:
Type of content (is it Fluff, is it Angst, is it Humor, is it Hurt/Comfort; there are tags for those aspects combined if you wanna tag Fluff and Angst!); if there's an AU what is it (Will take form of Alternate Universe - ___); if a popular headcanon is used (Easy example is "Sleepy Boys Inc as Family"; headcanons needed to get the story but arent explicit in canon); Time it takes place in canon (Not always there but sometimes u find tags like L'manberg Revolution etc); and common content warnings (ex. if it brings up a character's depression a lot, tag Depression; things like Childhood Trauma, Memory Loss, etc. If it's a multichapter and only one chapter lightly metnions something, you can just warn in the opening notes of that chapter and don't ahve to tag it, just go for overarching things!)
Work Title: many ways to do it! strong suggestions: song lyric, single word that sounds sort of cool or has thematic relevance, quote from fic, funny joke, etc. i recommend you do NOT take after me and make extremely long and hard to parse titles but tbh do whatever
co-creators is if two people worked on the fic so usually you won't do that but if two people did collab you can! I've seen some people add their betas or editors as co creators, I don't tend to since with my fics I only rope my beta into editing some of the chapters not all of them, but if you have a beta you can just thank them in opening notes. if they very actively always work on it you CAN make them a co-creator, that's up to you and them
Summary: If it's a multichapter in an AU setting, you might want to opt for a summary that starts off explaining the AU (ex. Doomsday never happened, and New L'manberg is still ... but like better written than that example) and then make a second paragraph (or second half of one paragraph) introducing the characters. If it's a singular oneshot that's like 1k-3k, sometimes u can just put like a single line or two explaining the premise. I can give more summary advice if u want but thats just like a bit of how I tackle that; you can also add summaries to each chapter in a multichapt except the first chapter which is just like a weird AO3 thing but those tend to be shorter and chapter centric!
Notes: people do these kind of differently depending, I tend to use Beginning Notes as any heads up for the chapter (like if additional context is needed) and CWs for that chapter in particular. if you have a beta you can thank them there, etc. etc.
End notes is where I see people talking about certain parts of the fic since by then the people have read the entire chapter, link possible fanart, link social medias, etc.
Collections are tricky but basically an example is, like, say you work on a Gift Exchange and there's a collection made by the gift exchange's host that collects all the gifts. You would want to add that fic to that collection straight up. If you want the fic to be anonymous and not have your name attached, type Anonymous in Collections and just kind of click one. Idk the differences between them but I think Anonymous_Fics is where i tend to add mine
Gifted works are just if u want one or more people specifically to uh have that fic gifted to them! yeah not much to say there. The checkbox below it is like, if you translate a fic into another language, if you record a podfic, if you write a fanfiction of a fanfiction, or if a fic is inspired off of anothers. I wouldn't say like if you wrote a superhero AU that you need to say it was inspired off of another superhero AU since that's a pretty generic trope, but like, if someone wrote something and this feels like in similar universe or just... was inspired by it, do that
clicking the series checkbox just makes a series, which is just collection of fics but you control the series. you can add series descriptors etc, and when you go to view the series you see all the tags of every fic within it. you can mark series as finished and give them funky names, etc. you can also bookmark entire series instead of just each individual fic, but you can't like kudos an entire series.
I dont get workskins but sometimes if you see really funky choose your own adventure fics they use those workskins. like if you wanna do something REALLY funky you can deffo do those but otherwise its not super needed so just ignore it for rn
You can opt for it to only let your work be shown to people logged into their accounts, so guests can't view them. Moderating comments means you get emails every time someone comments so you go and approve them; would NOT recomemnd this for fics with a lot of attention but if you get nasty comments or smth moderating comments can be a good idea. it just seems like a headache to me personally which is why i dont LOL
yeah you can pick who can comment, guests comments will ask for guests to put in a username (which will not be underlined meaning you cant click it, which is how u know its a guest) and their email so they can get ur reply. but u can just shut off comments if u want lol
Okay this is where people get funky so here's my recomemndation. Don't listen to the heard of misguided individuals that paste fics into HTML literally just go for Rich Text. Rich Text means if you have a google doc you can just, like, copy and paste it there. You can also type directly into Rich Test. HTML is just weird and funky so I don't recommend it. Sometiems Rich Text does weird shit but it hasnt fucked me over that much
if u have other questions lmk but thats the most of it!
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The Island | KTH (Nineteen-FINAL)
Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?
Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader
Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.
Word Count: 12.1k
Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mentions of one sided love, crying from several characters, messy make outs, fingering, unprotected sex, fingers in mouth, intense orgasms (?) lol and ummm feelings.
Notes: THE END IS HERE!!! (Despite tags not working for me I am posting anyway) It’s the last chapter…wow. Thanks to everyone who has stayed with me on this journey. I know you guys worried a lot but well, here’s the ending. PLEASE let me know what you’ve enjoyed! Hearing from you guys is one of the best parts. <3 also pls don't think I am evil. hehe.
Tag list: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @main-bangtansmauyeondan @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr @siredsong @happyhrsme @storms-and-stars-blog @mingi-banana @soeur-de-ame @ladycubes0t7 @heavenmyg
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous
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Okay, it’s not that it’s weird…you know, he’s not weirding you out or anything but it is a little…strange. Taehyung has looked at you a million times before and there has been a million different emotions behind his eyes. Lately, his emotional eyes have heavily expressed skepticism…the dark brown swirling with hesitance. Sure, it hurt having to gaze into those honest eyes of his and know what they are saying but it’s not like that was the only thing they said. Love and adoration could be seen as well, they were just being mixed around with whatever was holding him back.
But you are sitting here at the table, eating breakfast with your family when you keep feeling Taehyung’s eyes bore into you. You’d look over at him and swat his knee and tell him to pay attention to the plate of food in front of him but you’ve never been good at tearing your eyes off his intense gaze. You’d be stuck, feeling the thrill of his stare. And well, you’re eating breakfast with your family so…
You know how intense and intimidating his gaze can be, you are well aware of the affect he has on you. Glancing over at him to see what his deal is could be dangerous but dear god, you can’t focus on this piece of toast with his eyes on the side of your head.
“Tae—” You snap your head towards him and when you lock eyes you freeze. You expected to be met with heat but you are left feeling a little confused. There is no intensity or intimidation. The air around you is light and comforting and his eyes are full of innocence.
“W-What?” You are cautious to ask…yeah, he’s being a little weird.
Taehyung only grins for you, bringing his fork to his mouth and stuffs it with eggs. With his mouth full he smiles wider and shakes his head playfully.
“No, nothing.” He sings, his eyes turning to crescents from his grin.
“Anyway…” You say slowly, narrowing your eyes at him before turning your head to speak to your mom. “I was googling some stuff and the internet says a good way to try and regain memories is to try and do or say things until you might recognize…I was thinking—”
“I’m sure they will come back, y/n.” Ellie cuts you off as she chews on some pancakes, “We don’t want to overdo it. Rest is sure to help.”
“I think we should be a little more proactive.” You snap, “Mom doesn’t even remember…It doesn’t matter, I don’t know why you guys,” You gesture towards your family, “Are so chill about everything? Oh, I get it. You two have it easy with mom but I—”
Suddenly, you feel Taehyung’s hand on your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze. You turn to face him and his eyes are now expressing his pity. They also say you should calm down.
“Honey…” Your mom catches your attention now, “It’s going to be fine…” Your mother has an unreadable expression on her face as she exchanges strange glances with your father and sister. “One day at a time.”
“Fine.” You breathe out, “Whatever.”
But it’s not fine and not “whatever”…something fishy is going on, you can tell. Your mom and sister look suspicious and your dad constantly looks uncomfortable. Are they keeping something from you? Oh god…what if her condition is worse than they are leading on? What if her memories never return?
“Well,” Your father clears his throat awkwardly, “It looks like everyone’s about done…how about we clean up and—”
“Yeah, I’ll do the dishes.” You mutter, already standing and gathering your plate and Taehyung’s plate…his mouth hangs open in disappointment because apparently he wasn’t actually finished with his breakfast.
“I can help.” Your mother offers, gathering some dishes of her own.
“Ellie shouldn’t you offer too?” Your dad grins at your sister and she immediately shakes her head.
“Oh no, no. y/n seems eager enough, I don’t think she needs any more helping hands.”
Well, she’s right actually. You are eager enough…you are actually looking forward to washing some dishes for a while—anything to keep you busy and your mind off everything for a minute.
The situation with your mother is to put it simply—stressful. And you’re a bit caught off guard still since earlier this morning…waking up to Taehyung crying and wanting to take you on a trip? Everything is all just a bit much right now.
“No one has to help me, to be honest.” You glance up at your mother who already has her hands full.
“Oh, nonsense.” She brushes you off. “Everyone needs a little help sometimes.”
~
The water is hotter than you’d actually like, your skin slightly burning every time your hands go under the quick stream of water with some dirty plate. But you welcome the burn…steam rising into your face. To be honest, you haven’t even processed the whole Taehyung thing…you don’t even know where to begin and you have decided now is not the time to delve into it. He said something about “when things get better here” and you’re growing frustrated because you are wondering if that’s even going to happen.
“Everything okay?” You hear your mother ask from beside you, her hands busy with drying dishes with a towel. “You seem…” she trails off unknowingly, silently waiting for you to respond to her.
“Fine.” You mumble, your hand stinging from the fiery water. “Just tired…didn’t sleep the most comfortable.”
“Ah, that’s right. You and Taehyung fell asleep on the porch bench.” Your mom giggles, “I’m sure your butt is sore from the wood.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t the best place I’ve fallen asleep.” You chuckle quietly, rubbing the sponge over the plate in your hand. “It was nice though.” Your small smile appears on your face just in time for your mother to catch it when she glances at you.
“Yes, stargazing on a cold night. Pretty romantic.” She bumps your hip with hers, “Reminds me of my show. When Paula and Bill are out stargazing and everything is just so…” You mom does a little happy dance, “Of course,” She starts laughing, “The romance kind of died down when Bill admitted he’s the one who killed Arthur.”
“Hold on!” You whip your head in your mom’s direction. “Bill is the one who killed Arthur?! I was so sure it was Ollie…” You stare at her in disbelief. “Talk about plot twist.”
“What? You didn’t know?!” Your mother gasps at you, “I told you to watch that episode!!! It was so good! You always make fun of my soap operas but you binge it too.”
“I meant to watch it! Oh my god, you really spoiled this for me.” You start laughing as well, “I wonder how Paula reacted…” You ponder out loud. You shake your head, putting your focus on this cup you’re washing until you’re hit with a sudden realization.
“Wait.” You drop the cup in the sink, your hand moving from under the water, the sudden coolness hitting your skin, soothing the burn.
“Didn’t that episode air only a couple of months ago? Even less…I remember you told me to watch it and…” you turn to face your mom who is blinking at you repeatedly. “Mom…you remember that?”
“Um…oh, I guess…I do…” Her eyes slide to the side, “So weird.”
“You…” Then your eyes begin getting watery, “Oh my god, you remembered something.” You say, trying to keep your emotions at bay. “Do you—do you remember anything else?”
Your mom feels her heart sink at the sight of you…you look so hopeful yet so desperate. This is a bit harder than she thought it would be…
“Are you…are your memories back?” Your voice cracks as you manage a smile. “Try to think…maybe you can remember something else.”
“Umm…” Your mom is at a loss for what to do…”I uh, remember the doctor saying that random bursts of memory can occur…I don’t think I really remember anything else…”
The sudden look of devastation on your face has your mother gulping. Maybe your father was right…maybe this wasn’t actually the greatest of ideas. She didn’t think of the consequences…how you would feel. It seemed harmless at the time when Ellie brought it up…
“Oh.” Is all you say. Then you are turning back towards the sink and thrusting your hands into the hot water again.
~~~~~~~~
“What is taking them so long?” Your father wonders, his hands digging into a bucket full of home video tapes. “I told your mother exactly where the chord was…”
“You know her and Ellie,” You mutter, picking at your nails as you and Taehyung sit side by side on one of the couches. “Probably found something more interesting in that old drawer.”
“Only thing interesting in there is a variation of batteries.” He rolls his eyes, trying to find the right tape he is looking for.
“I wish they would hurry.” Taehyung grins, gripping your thigh. “I would love to see videos of you when you were a kid.”
“Honestly, Ellie was the funny child. I mostly glared at everyone and didn’t eat anything—”
“—anything but chicken nuggets. Trust me, I am fully expecting bratty y/n.” Taehyung chuckles, squeezing your thigh before letting go and bringing his hand back to his lap.
“I wasn’t a brat!” You pout, “I was just…particular.”
“She was a brat.” Your father chimes in, lighting up when he finally spots the tape he was looking for. “Found it!” he cheers.
“They are kind of taking a while…” You point out, your head looking towards the hall. “I’ll go see what’s up.” You say while standing from the couch, you hear a grunt of approval from your father before heading towards the back room you know your mom and sister are in.
You’re approaching the cracked open door when you hear soft words being exchanged, you pause because you’re certain you heard your name. You lean into the door, not giving yourself away, trying to listen in.
“Oh, come on.” You hear Ellie drag out the words, “y/n doesn’t suspect a thing.”
Of course, this catches your attention. Suspect what?
“You should have seen her face, El.”
“The plan is working!” Ellie whisper shouts, “I can tell.”
“And how can you even tell?” You hear your mom sounding tired, “We got him to stay…true, but she’s so worried over this whole memory thing that…”
“Let’s just keep it going a little longer, mom. It would be awkward to say the truth no—”
“And what truth is that?” You swing the door open, your unimpressed face giving away your knowledge of their conversation.
“Oh shit.” Ellie bites her bottom lip, “Well, I guess this was one way for things to happen.”
“What truth?” You repeat, your face morphing into something a little more angry.
“Before you get mad—”
“Already there.” You spit out, “What plan is working?”
Of course, you are kind of getting an idea. But you are not about to accuse your mother of faking her amnesia because…because that would be crazy, right?
“Hello?” You grit out, your hand on your hip, your fingers digging into your side.
“Okay.” Your mom says calmly, her eyes going between you all. “It’s going to sound ridiculous…”
“But our intentions are good.” Ellie butts in, “So remember that before you decide to commit murder.” She raises her hands up, trying to lighten the mood but it doesn’t really work.
“Don’t tell me…” You shake your head, “No.”
“Maybe I didn’t really lose my memories.” Your mom says a little quieter now. “We uh,” She glances over at your sister, “We wanted to find a way to get Taehyung to stay…”
“To stay?” You repeat, disbelief written all over your face. “And this was your?! Your idea to get…?!” You stare at your mother and sister incredulously. “This is literally insane. Oh my god…insane.” You mutter out, your eyes falling to the floor. “This is…does dad…family meeting.” You bring your eyes back up to meet your moms, “Family meeting!” You yell out before storming out of the room.
“She doesn’t seem too happy obviously but I feel like if we were going to die at her hands it would have happened already.” Ellie shrugs, “Right?”
Your mother rolls her eyes, nodding her head towards the door. “Come on.” She says.
~
You stand in the middle of the living room while your mom, sister and dad sit on one couch while Taehyung occupies the other. You are livid, to say the least. Taehyung thinks he can see steam leave your ears as you look at your family members with a hardened gaze. What the hell is happening, Taehyung thinks. You look pissed, that’s for sure. Maybe a little cute too, the way your shoulders are risen towards your ears and your nose is all scrunched up.
“I called for this family meeting because…” You glance at your mom and sister, your mother who seems to shrink in her seat while Ellie looks off to the side. “Because I have just unlocked some crazy secret!” You throw your hands up. “Dad,” Your eyes find your fathers now, “Mom and Ellie have something to tell you.”
“Oh, please.” Your mom shakes her head, looking guilty as she eyes your dad. “He knows, obviously.”
“Y-You know?” You furrow your brows as you concentrate on your father who looks uncomfortable all over again. Then you are releasing a long breath. “Of course you knew. It’s why you’ve been so..” You give him your best look of disappointment.
“It wasn’t my idea though!” Your father points out, “I was against it!”
“It wasn’t your…” You repeat quietly, “But still! Guilty by association!” You point at him, “You’re all guilty and weird! Very weird! This is literally insane!”
“I tried telling them that!” Your dad shifts uncomfortably in his spot, his arms crossing over his chest. “They’re the weird ones!”
“While I agree with you, you’re still guilty.” You cross your own arms over your chest, “Mom.” You look back at your mother, “This is proof that your soap operas are no good. Like what episode of your show did this scenario happen on?!”
“Oh don’t blame her.” Ellie says, bored. “It was my idea.”
“Obviously I know it was your idea, Ellie. The fact it’s so stupid totally gives away who came up with it!” You shout at your sister, “No one else would have thought of something so dumb! The dumbassery of it all really suits you!”
“Ouch.” Ellie says, but she’s not actually hurt by your words.
“Umm…” You are so caught up in all of this you kind of forgot about Taehyung who sits here awkwardly, looking between all of you. “What exactly….are you guys even talking about?” He asks, his genuine confusion making you snort. Right, you think. He has no idea what is even going on. This is so embarrassing.
“Mom…” You begin, feeling yourself grow warmer with how humiliating this all is. “She lied to us.”
“I wouldn’t call it a lie—”
“You shush.” You snap, “She and Ellie came up with some insane plan thinking it would get you to stay longer.”
“Me?” Taehyung points at himself, his innocent eyes boring into yours. “Stay? For what? What was the lie?”
“She didn’t lose her memories.” You say bluntly, “In fact, I don’t think anything is even wrong with her.” You pause…”Well, besides the fact she might be crazy.”
Taehyung’s eyes expand comically. He wasn’t expecting this…he admits…this is uh, pretty fucked up, he thinks. Really fucked up actually.
“Can you just…” Your mom stands up now, “Can you just hear us out?”
“This should be good.” You roll your eyes, “Yes, please.” You gesture towards her sarcastically, “Please tell us how this was some great plan!”
“Listen.” She hesitates to get closer to you, deciding maybe some distance is a good idea. “When I woke up…my first thought was you.”
“Thanks mom.” Ellie deadpans, but snorts when your father swats her arm.
“I was so worried about you dear…” She says honestly, you pinch your brows together in slight confusion. “You really grew up so much, you know?” She looks down at her feet, “You finally had courage to go to Korea to find Taehyung.” Your mom glances at Taehyung who looks just as confused as you.
“And?” You whisper, needing her to go on.
“And…well, Ellie said you had returned and Taehyung was with you.” She continues, “I thought this was a good sign but when I asked Ellie about it she said you had been…unsuccessful, to put it lightly.” She finds your eyes, pity pooling inside them. “I just…I wanted to help anyway I could. I figured all you two needed was to put everything bad that has happened behind you guys and just focus on what brought you together in the first place.” She takes a breath before finishing, “We thought if we got Taehyung to remember why he fell in love with you then he would…stay in love with you…and you guys would…I don’t know, we thought it could work…”
“I…” You shake your head, at a loss for words.
“I know it wasn’t the …smartest thing we’ve come up with. But y/n…I just…”
“Your mother was willing to throw away her shame and dignity to do this for you, honey.” Your father butts in lightly, earning a glare from your mom towards him. “What? It’s true…”
“What he means is…a parent is willing to do just about anything for their child’s happiness.” Your mom glances back at you. “I know it was…”
“Insane.” You mutter for the hundredth time. “But I am sorry…for worrying you so much.” You feel your throat burn, “I feel so selfish. Having you worry about my pathetic love life.” You say and Taehyung winces at this.
“I just want you to be happy.” She takes a step towards you now but you back away, you lift your head and make it obvious you are still pissed.
“y/n…” Ellie stands too, “I’m sorry we lied to you, seriously. But—”
“No buts!” You point at her, “You made me think….and made me worry…I…”
“Can’t you find it in your heart to forgive us?” Ellie smiles at you, “Your heart is just so pretty and big and forgiving…”
“If you don’t stop talking I swear I will throw hands with you.” You say with a straight face, “And dad, you are not off the hook either—” Suddenly, Taehyung is standing up, startling you as he faces your family. He looks at everyone before bowing towards your mother and staying like that for a few seconds before straightening his back.
“Thank you.” He says, the sincerity in his voice making you upset all over again.
“Thank you?!” You shout towards him now and he chuckles, “Why are you laughing?!”
“Because you are so worked up and it’s a little entertaining.” He teases you honestly. “But although it was a bit…uh, unconventional. I think they did a good thing.”
“A goo—you realize this is borderline traumatizing, right?” You ask him incredulously.
“Okay, maybe, yeah.” He agrees, “But it worked.”
“What worked?” You stutter, “Getting you to stay?”
“We had to get him to stay! You told me that once mom wakes up he was going to go back to Korea!” Ellie quickly yells out, “We needed to come up with something—”
“Why didn’t you just, I don’t know, communicate?! This was so extreme! Oh my god, I think it’s you all who needs therapy. You should really see someone.” You nod your head quickly. “Yup—”
“y/n.” Taehyung turns to you, walking closer and closer making your pulse quicken. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He tells you, trying his best to reassure you. “I’m on your side, this was fucked up.” He glances back at your parents, “Sorry, for the language.” He quickly apologies before looking back at you. “But hey, it worked. They wanted me to have a breakthrough and I did.”
“What are you talking about?” You question him. “I—” Then you notice all eyes on you both, “They’re staring.” You whisper.
“I know.” He whispers back, stifling a chuckle. “Maybe we should talk somewhere more private.”
“No, no.” Ellie says nonchalantly, “You aren’t bothering us. You can continue.” She gestures towards you both with a smirk and you roll your eyes.
“Eat a dick.” You tell her and she tries to hold in her laughter.
“y/n!” Your mother scolds with a shocked expression while your father just looks disturbed. You just shrug while Taehyung reaches for your hand and takes you down the hall to a bedroom—the same one he is staying in.
“I’m so mad, Taehyung.” You blurt out as soon as he closes the bedroom door.
“I know…it’s a little crazy, I’m not going to lie to you.” He walks towards the bed and sits on the edge.
“Exactly! And that’s why I’m mad honestly. I’m mad because this is so freaking embarrassing!” You throw your hands up before walking towards the bed as well and taking a seat next to him. “Like who the hell does that?!”
Taehyung starts laughing, “So you’re upset because you’re embarrassed not because they…lied?”
“Well, yeah the lie is something to be pissed about but of course I am embarrassed! You probably think my family is crazy now and that maybe I’m crazy too!”
“Oh.” Taehyung nods his head subtly, “I knew you were crazy since way before though—ow.” He’s laughing to himself as he rubs his arm on the spot you just hit. “It’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed. It was uh, not the way most people would have done things but maybe it was worth it.”
“Worth it? How the hell…can you please explain it to me.” You drag your eyes up to meet his, they speak to you again. His honest eyes full of light.
“Not here.” He tells you softly and this just confuses you further.
“Where then? I—” You’re cut off by the sound and feel of your phone vibrating against your right ass cheek. “Someone’s calling me.” You point out the obvious.
“I gathered that.” Taehyung tells you, his smug smile making you roll your eyes before you’re reaching behind you to get your phone from your pocket.
“Oh. It’s Jimin.” You say before sliding your finger across the screen to answer the call, “Hello. You’re on speaker.” You tell him.
“You answered!” Jimin cheers loudly, “I—”
“Hey!” Taehyung cuts him off, “I texted you like an hour ago and haven’t heard from you at all and here you are calling y/n?!”
“Priorities, I guess.” Jimin shrugs on the other line, “Anyway, I haven’t heard from you in a while…wanted to see how things were going.”
“Oh god.” You’re groaning, realizing you are only going to continue to feel embarrassed knowing you have to share this story with your friends.
“Things are fine.” Taehyung says for you, “Uh, her mom is okay.”
“My mom is insane.” You deadpan, relaxing your shoulders as you huff out. “She faked the whole thing.”
“Huh?” Jimin says after a moment of silence. “I don’t get it.”
“I don’t think any of us really…”get”…it.” You sigh out, “Anyway, things are okay. No more worries on my end. How are things over there?”
“Okay…” Jimin says slowly, hesitating to continue. “If you’re sure….well, things here are fine. Jungkook won’t go back to his own damn place—”
“You love it when I’m here!” You hear Jungkook shout in the distance and finally for the first time since the craziness of the day you crack a smile.
“Hi Jungkook.” You sing into the phone, “Keeping our Jiminie company?”
“He acts like he doesn’t want to have company but you know he lives off it.” You hear Jungkook say, a lot closer to the phone now. “So what’s up with you guys? Taehyung, when are you coming back?”
“Tomorrow.” He says, surprising you. Tomorrow? He’s leaving so soon? Well, that makes sense you guess…what were you expecting? Your mother is fine. Which is something you are obviously happy about—and equally embarrassed about.
“Oh wow,” Jimin is speaking into the phone now. “That’s good…we’ve really missed you.”
“He means he’s really missed you.” Jungkook corrects with a sly smile you can only imagine.
“We’ve all missed him.” Jimin retorts.
“Yeah, but Jimin has missed you the most.” Jungkook teases and you’re all laughing.
“And of course we have missed you just as much y/n.” Jimin says softly, “When’s the next time we’ll see you?”
“Well,” You sigh, trying your best to smile. “I don’t know…”
“The same time you guys see me.” Taehyung leans into your hand that holds your phone, “She’s coming with me.”
“What?! You’re coming back so soon, y/n? That’s amazing! Will you be staying with me again? I still have that candle you like—”
“No, weirdo. She’s staying with me…but we won’t be in town very long though.” Taehyung keeps his eyes on your phone screen as you stare at the side of his face. What? Wait what?
“Oh?” Jungkook questions cutely, “Where are you guys going?”
“Yeah.” You clear your throat, knocking out of the little daze you were in. “Yeah, where are we going?”
“Secret.” He tells you, still only looking at your phone but you can see the side of his face, how his cheek is burning a bright red.
“Secret?” Jimin asks, “Well, all that matters is that you two are coming here!”
“I’m …confused.” You admit quietly, your eyes staying on Taehyung as he grins down at your phone and quickly says bye to the boys before touching the end button. You slowly lower your hand into your lap as you continue to gaze at the boy next to you.
“Taehyung?”
“I asked you earlier….” Taehyung lifts his eyes to find your confused gaze, “If that when this all gets better here…that you would go on a trip with me?”
“Oh.” You blink at him, your confusion only growing. “I guess?”
“Well, things are better here now. So, uh, that trip.”
“Taehyung, my job—”
“They already gave you permission for a couple of weeks right? Because of your mom? Just…take advantage of this time off.” He shrugs with a smirk. “I really think you should go on this trip with me.”
“What trip? To Korea?”
“No. Somewhere else. But I need to go home first, sort some things out.” He tells you, his hand finding your thigh. “Do you trust me?”
“I…” You stare into Taehyung’s eyes. The eyes that never lie. He looks nervous, hopeful, desperate and innocent all at once. “I do trust you.” You breathe out, the words tumbling out of your mouth without you even having to think about it.
“Then just follow my lead for the next few days. Things will make sense soon, I promise. There’s something I want to do for you. For us.” His voice is soft and low, almost like his melodic hum that soothes you.
“Okay.” You find yourself agreeing, your eyes stuck on his. “I’ll go where you want me to.”
Taehyung pulls his brows together as he forms a smile for you, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. He nods slowly and caresses your skin as you lean into his touch. He wants to melt because he’s touching you but you’ve beat him to it. Your own form turning into a puddle as you soak in his warm touch.
“Let’s buy our tickets.” He whispers and then you get a cute little devious look in your eyes, “What?” He asks.
“I’m telling my parents to buy our tickets.” You grin, “I think they owe me.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Korea is as beautiful as ever. The scenery has really become your favorite…the way the sky is lit up with a variety of warm colors, the sun threatening to set soon. The cool breeze is nice and chilly and makes you feel like you can breathe easier—it helps you aren’t on a plane anymore. You and Taehyung landed not too long ago, you both wait outside with your luggage, noticing Jungkook’s car come into view. You can see Jimin’s face break out into his beautiful smile, his eyes disappearing in the process and you start waving.
The ride to Taehyung’s place takes around 30 minutes, Jimin and Jungkook chatting in the front seats while you and Taehyung sit in the back, your head leaning against the car window as you watch the busy streets zoom by. It feels nice to be in Jimin and Jungkook’s company, it feels nice to be in Korea and it feels nice that Taehyung is also next to you. You love it here. It feels more like home the more and more you come.
“Bro your mom sounds fucking crazy.” Jungkook blurts out, his head bobbing around before he makes a right turn. “No offense, of course.”
“None taken.” You shrug. “So, we’re all hanging out tonight, right? My phone died on the plane, fucking sucked, by the way, but I have no idea what the group chat looks like right now!”
“Yeah, everyone’s coming over tonight.” Taehyung glances over at you with a smile, “Jimin and Jungkook will keep you company for a while before everyone gets there though.”
“Huh?” You tilt your head in confusion. “What do you mean? Why does it sound like you won’t be around?”
“Because I won’t be.” Taehyung grins at you, “Have to go to my parent’s for a bit. Shouldn’t take too long though.”
“Oh?” You look towards the review mirror and your eyes meet Jungkook’s, you can see how he’s smiling himself. “Okay…”
“Suddenly don’t love being with us, y/n?” Jimin teases, “That’s too bad, because you’re stuck with us. In this situation and you know, in life.”
“No one else I’d rather be stuck with than you two.” You laugh, “As long as you both agree on whatever movie I want…unlike every other time.”
“I want action packed!” Jungkook whines, “Not whatever mushy shit you want to watch.”
“You literally cried when we watched The Notebook…” You point out, “You fucking love the mushy shit.”
“Uh, you think The Notebook isn’t action packed?” Jungkook giggles, “I’m sure Ryan Reynolds would disagree with how hard he worked on that house.”
“Gosling. Not Reynolds.” You blink, unenthused. “Anyway, Jimin how about you decide on what movie?”
“Not sure if there is even enough time for a movie…” Jimin murmurs, too busy on his phone, “It’s already past 6 and everyone will get there around 8.”
“Oh.” You nod your head. “Fine, Jungkook you got lucky this time.”
“I’m always getting lucky.” He says cockily, “Yoongi thinks—”
“—Ew, we don’t need to know.” You fake gag, making all the boys laugh. “Jimin?”
“Hm?” He finally lifts his head and turns around in his seat to see you, “What’s up?” He asks, his soft smile spreading across his face.
“I know you wanted to binge Disney movies.” You reach forward and poke his nose, “Next time, I promise.”
“You promised! She promised, Jungkook!” Jimin faces forward in his seat again, “We have to hold her to it.”
“It’s not like any of us don’t want to watch Disney movies.” Jungkook murmurs with a soft chuckle, “We always can agree on like Toy Story or something.”
“Is watching a lot of movies something you guys do often?” Taehyung asks you all, his smile on his face genuine.
“Oh yeah.” Jimin nods enthusiastically. “When y/n is back at home we would all video chat and watch the same movie at the same time. Kind of became our thing, I guess.” Jimin shrugs cutely, his smile wide.
“Yeah,” Jungkook agrees, his eyes focused on the road ahead.
“We’re good at keep one another company.” You giggle to yourself before turning your head to face Taehyung who just looks at you with an odd smile.
“I’m glad.” He whispers, “You weren’t lonely.”
It’s hard to hear with how quietly he whispered but you think you caught what he was saying. You just nod and go back towards the car window, leaning your head against it again…instead of noticing the scenery outside you just focus on the smile you see in your own reflection.
~
“She’s going to love it, Taehyungie.” Jimin reassures Taehyung for the hundredth time. “It’s seriously so perfect. I don’t know why you are so nervous!”
“Jimin’s right!” Jungkook agrees quickly, “She hasn’t shown you any sign of not wanting to be with you so?”
“It just…” Taehyung pauses, glances behind him to make sure you’re still in the bathroom showering, “It holds a lot of meaning, you know?”
“Exactly…that’s why it’s so perfect.” Jimin reaches for Taehyung’s hand, he squeezes it tightly, trying to transfer his confidence over to him. “Would I…the person who loves you most in this whole world, steer you wrong?” Jimin teases, letting go of Taehyung’s hand. “She is the best person possible for you.”
“I know.” Taehyung gulps, “Anyway, I got to head to my parents. You know, pathetically ask for one last favor and all.” He scratches the back of his neck with a chuckle. “I’ll be back. Let y/n know, please.”
“Course.” Jungkook nods, “See you in a while, man.”
~
Being with everyone feels surreal. Sure, Korea is beautiful and you love the scenery so much but this? Being with everyone? That’s the part that feels most like home. Hearing Hobi laugh loudly at something Jin had said is making you giggle yourself, hearing Yoongi complain that he didn’t even his Jin’s joke because Namjoon kept mumbling something about some badass lyrics he just came up with on the spot also makes you giggle even harder.
Yuna is attached to your side, her little hands surprisingly strong as she holds on to you tightly. You continue to laugh as you notice Jiwoo trying to drag her off of you, an apologetic look in her eyes. Instead of encouraging Jiwoo to successfully get Yuna off of you, you instead pull Jiwoo in as well and you hug the girls. Yuna chanting ‘group hug’ over and over as you giggle, Jiwoo turning red from embarrassment.
Jungkook and Jimin both lean against the bar top in Taehyung’s kitchen and sip their beers with pleased smiles on their faces. You finally let go of the girls before making your way over to the two guys. They tip their beers towards you in cheers, you walk past them to grab your own drink and then stand in front of them.
“Obviously you two know something I don’t.” You give them the side eye and Jimin cracks into a loving smile.
“Maybe?” He laughs again, “You don’t have to know everything though.”
“No fun.” You pout, but bring your drink to your lips and chug it back some. “I don’t know why I’m here.” You admit, lowering your drink along with your voice. “But I’m happy I am. But I feel a little on edge too.”
“Oh.” Jimin breathes out, his eyes darting towards Jungkook who looks as panicked as Jimin. “Um, don’t feel on edge y/n.”
“Easy for you to say!” You roll your eyes playfully, “Well, Tae told me to trust him…so I am going to do that.”
“Good.” Jungkook says, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. “Speaking of Taehyung…wonder what’s taking so long?” He glances over at the front door.
“I’ll call him.” Jimin offers, as if it wasn’t obvious that it was going to be him. “Be back.”
Jimin walks towards Taehyung’s room, pulling out his phone in the process. You watch as Jimin disappears into the bedroom, your eyes trailing along the room now. Happy to see everyone’s happy faces.
“I’m back!” You hear Taehyung’s deep voice as he enters the apartment, you spin around in your spot and see him. He’s as handsome as ever, a cute boxy grin on his face as he lights up when he sees you. “Hi.”
“Hi.” You say, “Jimin was just calling you.”
“Huh?” Taehyung pulls out his phone and shows you his blank screen. “Nothing yet.” He shrugs, “Are you guys drunk yet?” Taehyung walks further into his place, greeting everyone with smiles.
You glance over to Taehyung’s room and wonder what Jimin is doing. Jungkook notices your fixed gaze before he’s putting a hand on your shoulder.
“He’s probably just tired. He didn’t really sleep last night.” Jungkook informs you, “I’ll go get him!”
You watch as Jungkook wanders into Taehyung’s room as well, only a minute passes by before Jungkook and Jimin are exiting the room, laughing at something Jungkook said. You turn to focus your gaze on everyone else, the apartment filling with everyone’s loud voices and laughter. It really is a wonderful feeling, being here.
Hours have passed, everyone is a bit drunk at this point…somehow you guys have managed to not receive any type of noise complaint from neighbors. You are pretty sober though and you notice Taehyung is as well, he hasn’t touched his drink for some time now. You are both sitting on his living room floor along with everyone else, his shoulder keeps bumping yours and you feel so tempted to lean into him but is that okay?
“I know you guys are drunk now but I’ll ask again tomorrow,” Taehyung chuckles, “But you do mind taking me and y/n to the airport tomorrow afternoon?” He asks, his question directed at Jimin and Jungkook.
“The afternoon?” Jungkook slurs, “That’s so early.”
“It’s…the afternoon…” Taehyung tries to keep his laughter in, “But I guess with the hangover you guys might have, I could see why you think it’s early.”
“Shut up, Jungkook.” Jimin shoves Jungkook lightly. “Of course, we can take you.”
“Airport?” You look up at Taehyung and he just grins at you. “We’re already leaving?”
“Told you we weren’t going to be here long.” He reminds you, “It’s only for the weekend.”
“And then what?” You blink up at him and Taehyung’s face goes from smiling, to frowning back to smiling.
“I guess that depends.” He whispers, “Who’s turn is it now?” He shouts towards your friends, leaving your conversation at that.
~
The drive to the airport goes by way too quickly, you wanted some extra time with your friends before you and Taehyung go to—well, you have no idea where. You’re nervous as hell. But it’s a different type of nervous. Like, you kind of want to puke, yes but also you feel waves of excitement as well. You trust Taehyung but you also don’t know what is going on in his mind.
“You guys don’t have to get out, seriously!” You tell Jimin and Jungkook as they decide to not to listen to you. They make their way towards you and Taehyung, helping you both with your luggage. “Well, fine. Hugs would be nice.” You admit, extending your arms out for the guys to accept your invitation.
Jungkook giggles with his bunny teeth on display, he quickly goes to you, wrapping his arms around you for a tight embrace. You notice Jimin and Taehyung hugging as well, sharing words with one another you can’t hear. You smile at Jungkook when he loosens his grip around you and pats your head lovingly.
“Have a good time.” He tells you, “Hmm, I think you will.” Jungkook teases before bringing his hands to himself completely.
“See you.” You shake your head with a smile.
Jungkook nods and makes his way over to Taehyung while Jimin comes to you now, he’s fast pulling you into his arms. You feel comforted immediately being hugged by Jimin, you don’t even know why you feel the need to be comforted. You laugh into his shoulder as you hug him tight.
“y/n.” Jimin says close to your ear, “Promise me something.”
Your smile drops a little when you hear how serious he sounds, his embrace only getting tighter.
“Anything.” You tell him softly.
“Always take care of my Taehyungie.”
You pull away from Jimin slightly, his smile so pretty and so sincere as he gazes at you. You nod your head slowly before smiling yourself.
“If he lets me, I will.” Is what you decide to say.
“Love you.” Jimin tells you, going in for another quick hug before letting go altogether.
Jungkook is finishing up his goodbye with Taehyung as well when he turns to Jimin and grins.
“Feels like we are sending off our kids to college.” Jungkook teases, making Jimin laugh.
“Go you two!” Jimin shouts. “Don’t party too much! Pass all your tests! Make good decisions!” He continues shouting as you and Taehyung giggle to yourselves, grabbing your luggage and making your way through the doors of the airport.
Jimin laughs, keeping his eyes on you two until you’ve completely disappeared from his sight. Jungkook glances over at Jimin and his smile falters just a bit before he’s grabbing Jimin’s shoulder.
“You okay?” He asks, a genuine concern laced in his voice. Jimin is still laughing, turning his head towards Jungkook before tilting his head in confusion.
“What do you mean?” Jimin smiles, “Of course I’m okay?”
“Oh, Jiminie. Jiminie. Jiminie.” Jungkook squeezes his shoulder a little, his eyes looking all too knowing.
“What?” Jimin asks, genuinely confused. His smile dropping by the second thanks to his puzzled state.
“You know,” Jungkook looks into Jimin’s eyes, “You’re really good at not making it obvious. Like, scary good.”
“What are you talking about, Jungkook?” Jimin’s voice has dropped lower now.
“Even if you were someone being watched with a camera, I don’t think any audience would have picked up on it.”
“What—”
“It’s okay.” Jungkook says, his voice much softer now. “I think I’m the only one who knows.”
“I—”
“You really are the most selfless person I’ve ever met.” Jungkook continues to hold on to Jimin’s shoulder and for some reason Jimin lets him. “You are the definition of putting someone else’s needs before your own.”
“Jungkook.” Jimin’s voice shakes a little with the only word he can manage at the moment.
“I know.” Jungkook nods, “No one suspects a thing, don’t worry. I just happen to know you best.” He gives him a soft smile, “So, I’ll ask again…you okay?”
Jimin is speechless. He knows his face has probably lost all color as he feels his heart going a million miles a minute in his chest. Jimin blinks at Jungkook repeatedly, his eyes traveling all across Jungkook’s face. It’s been years and no one has said anything…what gave him away now?
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Jimin gulps, his eyes dart around now. “Let’s just go.” But before Jimin can walk towards the car, Jungkook is stopping him with the hand that’s on his shoulder.
“You love him, Jimin.” Jungkook whispers but Jimin hears it loud and clear. “It’s okay…”
Jimin’s eyes immediately fall to the ground, he blinks rapidly now and shakes his head. He hates how it feels like his chest is closing in on him, his breaths shallow now. He stays with his head down for a few minutes, his sharp breaths making his chest heave.
“You always have.”
“I…” Jimin finally looks up to look up at Jungkook and Jungkook feels his stomach drop at the sight. Jimin’s cheeks are tear streaked, and his bottom lip quivers. “I do, don’t I?” He questions softly, his lips forming into a devastating smile as more tears fall. “I really do, don’t I?” He chokes on his words now, his smile still on his face and a quiet laughter shaking his body.
Jungkook stares down at Jimin and feels his heart ache, did…did Jimin not know? When Taehyung first disappeared Jimin took it the hardest, sure, all the guys were pretty messed up about it. But Jimin…was a little more concerning. He realized his feelings for Taehyung were a little passed something platonic but Jimin never actually made it obvious. Jungkook is just super fucking observant and happens to know Jimin really well.
“You okay?” Jungkook asks again, this time knowing he may actually get an answer.
“I don’t know.” Jimin admits truthfully, he wipes at his face, trying to rid himself of his tears. “Actually…I do know.” Jimin stares at the ground now, a small smile spreading on his lips. “I am okay, really. I just want Taehyung to be happy and that’s y/n. She is his soulmate. I’m sure of it.” He nods his head. “The company was right. They are the perfect match and I want them to be together. It’s what they both want. You know?”
“Yeah…” Jungkook reaches his other hand forward and grabs Jimin’s other shoulder, “But doesn’t mean you can’t feel a little sad too.” He tells him, “You…are selfless. And I agree that Taehyung has found his person—romantically. But you’re always going to be his person too.”
“I know that, stupid.” Jimin chuckles, still looking down.
“You’re strong, Jimin.” At this, Jimin looks up and gazes into Jungkook’s eyes, a grateful smile on his face. “Were you going to go your whole life without telling literally anyone?”
“I wasn’t even going to tell myself. It was…always a thought in the back of my head but I never verbalized it. I couldn’t. There would be no use.” Jimin whispers, “Loving someone who would never love you back. Why put yourself through that?” He laughs, but his eyes betray him when more tears slip past and slide down his cheeks. “I’m okay. Because I have no other choice but to be.”
“With me…” Jungkook pulls Jimin into his chest, “You don’t have to be.”
And for the first time Jimin closes his eyes and feels everything at once. How is it possible that something that was never his is slipping between his fingers? Jimin’s slow to return Jungkook’s hug but once he’s embracing his friend he finally feels it’s okay. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to move on.
“They’re lucky to have you.” Jungkook says and this only makes Jimin cry harder.
After several minutes, Jimin has calmed down enough to pull away from Jungkook and smile sincerely towards him.
“Thanks.” He says quietly before reaching his arms above him in a stretch, “Ah, let’s hope these kids have a successful trip or I’ll scold them for life.”
Jungkook grins at his friend before nodding along.
“I’ll join you in scolding them!” He yells out excitedly, he walks towards the driver’s side of the car while Jimin opens the passenger side and gets in.
“An island, huh?” Jungkook turns the car on once inside, “A nice one though.” He giggles, looking over at Jimin who looks just as happy.
“Yeah,” Jimin smiles thinking about you and Taehyung. “An island.”
~~~~~~~~
“Greece?!?!” You basically shout, Taehyung laughing at you while covering your mouth with his large hands.
“People are staring now.” Taehyung playfully pouts, his laughter still audible. “But yup, Greece. You’ve never been, right?”
“No, but I mean is it a dream vacation? Hell yeah!” You look up at the board that tells you your departure time and also you know, destination.
“We’re going to Crete, specifically. It’s an island.”
“An island?” You tilt your head, “Oh. Déjà vu.”
Crete is…breathtaking. At least it looks that way in photos…you wouldn’t actually know because it’s like 11 o’clock at night and you can’t see any beautiful scenery. You do hear the ocean though, the way the waves crash into the rocks on shore. It really triggers memories for you, just the sound of water alone. You’re taken back to your time on the island…but that island is not this island. No, this island has people, has buildings and houses and restaurants.
“We’re staying…here?” Your eyes fill with awe as you eye the place you’ll be staying in. “Like, it’s all ours? Our closest neighbors are…them?” You point at another beach house a good ways away.
“Mhm.” Taehyung nods, grabbing yours and his luggage and lugging them up the stairs on the beach houses front porch towards the door. “Do you like it?” He asks cheekily, knowing you are starstruck right now.
“Like it? Taehyung, I love it! What the hell!!!” You quickly follow him up and wait impatiently for him to unlock the front door. “Hurry I want to see inside!” You jump up and down excitedly, Taehyung purposely taking his time to reach for the keys, earning him a punch to the arm.
“Be nice.” He scolds you, his gaze looking playful.
Taehyung gets the door unlocked and you breeze past him to turn the lights on and get a look inside your little home for the next few days. Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle as he gets your things inside and shuts the door behind him.
“It’s small but nice, right?” He sets your suit cases down beside the bed. “The view from the windows is insane! Well, you’ll get a better look when it’s daytime.”
“Taehyung…” You walk towards him after checking out the kitchen and bathroom, “How did you uh, score this place?”
“My parents helped out.” He says with an awkward grin. “I’ll repay them later but they wanted to help…even got us this place when I originally wanted something cheaper.”
“Oh wow…” You feel guilty now, “That’s really nice of them but…”
“No but’s. Just enjoy, y/n.” Taehyung comes closer to you, his hand reaching for yours. You feel yourself go crazy when his fingers caress your fingers, his warm skin touching you so softly. You want to pull him even closer to you, you want to feel his arms around you, you want to feel his breath on your skin, you want to feel his beating heart pounding against yours. But you don’t know if that’s okay.
“Taehyung.” You say a bit breathlessly.
“Hm?” He hums, his fingers traveling up your arm now. His touch is so soft, so delicate, you almost don’t feel it as it works its way up.
“Why did you bring me here?” You whisper, your eyes finding his. His gaze is one of those dangerous ones, the kind you cannot escape.
“Because I want to offer you something.” He says just as hushed, his fingers now at your shoulder, skidding across your collarbone, and delicately traveling up your throat. You feel yourself shudder underneath his touch, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by him. He swallows hard, his fingers at your cheek now.
“W-What do you want to offer me?” You breathe out, your body reacting so shamelessly to his touch.
Taehyung just gazes into your eyes, his dark and lustful gaze pierces into you and makes you feel breathless.
“Taehyung?” You manage to say his name, your quiet voice almost sounded like a whine.
“Hm?” Taehyung’s fingers go into your hair at the back of your neck, he massages your scalp while you both continue to stare at the other.
“What’s your offer?” You repeat, your chest is pushed up against his now, neither of you have realized the lack of space between you.
“A choice.” He whispers out, his fingers halt their movements before he is bringing his hand back to his side and he takes a step away from you.
“A choice?” You ask, clearly confused. You feel yourself grow cold at the little bit of distance between you both now.
“Yeah.” Taehyung smiles at you now, his lips curved into it so softly. “You’re tired, right?” He asks, nodding towards the bed. “Let’s sleep. Tomorrow is a new start for us.”
“A new?” You repeat some of his words, feeling confused still but you remember he asked you to trust him. “Okay…” you agree quietly, “Let’s sleep.”
~~~~~~~~
Your room is blinding from the soft yet striking sunrise, each beam of light swims through the blinds in piercing waves. The intense glow hits you in your sleepy state, causing you to wake from your glorious slumber. Too bright. You sit up in your bed, attempting to rub away the sleep that crusts your eyes. You begin to slowly open one lid at a time, taking in the neat appearance of your room. Wait—this isn’t your room. Your heart immediately relaxes when you remember where you are.
Across from the bed is a giant flat screen TV with some pretty paintings on either side on the wall. To the right are some huge windows that only have sheer curtains covering them, so the sun is quite bright in this room. To the left is a door to the bathroom and up ahead to the left as well is a small kitchenette. But the most important thing in this room is what’s right next to you. His dark, ruffled hair sticking out between the sheets and pillow below his head. And his quiet little snores muffled by the blanket.
This is all too familiar, you think. But you can’t help but smile. You slide back down into the sheets and gaze at Taehyung who sleeps peacefully next to you. Watching him look so at ease, makes you feel even more relaxed. You could spend your life just gazing at him, nothing competes with this moment.
You aren’t sure how much time has passed but Taehyung seems to finally be waking up. His sleepy eyes opening and they immediately catch your gaze. He rubs at his face until he can finally open his eyes all the way, making you giggle.
“Good morning.” He breathes out, his voice so deep and husky.
“Hi.” You respond, “Sleep good?”
“Mm.” He closes his eyes again, “I think maybe 5 more minutes.” He jokes before cracking open an eye to look at you. “How long have you been staring at me?”
“I…I wasn’t.” You grumble, your cheeks showing an obvious blush.
“It’s okay. It’s only fair. I did it to you before too.” He chuckles and you pinch your brows together.
“Huh?”
“Nothing.” He smiles, “So.”
“So.”
“We are here. Waking up together. On an island.” He points out the obvious, “How does it feel?”
“How does it…?” You grow a little confused, giggling a bit before answering. “Good?��
“Different than the first time?” He asks, his question genuine.
“Well, yeah.” You snort, “The first time I was terrified.” You tell him honestly, but it’s not like he didn’t know. “The first time I was sure I was kidnapped…well, I guess I kind of was.” You trail off, your smile fading.
“The first time…” Taehyung’s eyes slide to the side, “There’s something we didn’t have. There’s something we weren’t…given.”
“What’s that?” You ask in a whisper. His eyes finding yours again.
“A choice.” He tells you, “You weren’t given a choice. Neither was I. We didn’t have any options…we couldn’t leave if we wanted to, we couldn’t choose our own path…just whatever the company gave to us.”
“Oh.” You nod your head in understanding, the atmosphere gone cold and serious. Your body feeling rigid. “That’s true. We didn’t have a way out.”
“Yeah.” Taehyung agrees. You feel startled when his hand goes to your cheek, his warmth instantly relaxing you some when he gazes into your eyes as intensely as he ever has. “y/n…” He whispers your name, his thumb rubbing your skin so smoothly. “I am giving you a choice.”
“Huh?” You blink at him, “What do you mean?”
“You can leave if you want to. You can go home. You can go back to your life. Or…” Taehyung clears his throat, his eyes continue to bore into yours as he pushes the next words out. “You can stay. With me.” His voice is almost inaudible by the time he says ‘with me’. “You can choose to start this new life…with me. No one is forcing you…or me.” He continues to caress your cheek. His voice cracking when he feels himself grow emotional.
“Taehyung…” You say his name so softly that he fears to hear it any other way now.
“The company brought us together but it’s up to us if we want to actually make this work.” He swallows, “So, like that day we met…we can get up and start this new journey that is me and you. Or—”
“Taehyung.” You say a little louder now, your voice shaking but you don’t care. You feel like your world is shining in a million different bright colors. Your eyes are already filling with tears but you pay no mind when you stare at the man next to you.
“This island…can be ours too.” He gulps, “If you w—”
“I love you.” You blurt out, “You know this already why are you even asking me?” You smile as tears slowly fall down your cheeks.
“Because I want you to be sure. And I wanted to do this properly.” He smiles, his own eyes wetting.
“You’re dramatic.” You laugh, sniffling to yourself. “Taehyung. You know…I would do the island all over again.”
“We are. But this time it’s on our terms. It’s the right way.” He inches closer and nudges his nose with yours. “Only a weekend though, not 8 months.” He chuckles, his warm breath hitting your lips.
“Taehyung…” You say his name, the word escaping you and dancing across his skin. “Is this what you want? Me? Even though I…and we…” Your words grow quieter and quieter, losing confidence in yourself.
“Baby,” Taehyung rasps out, your eyes shooting open and staring into his at the pet name. “I’m okay.” He reassures you. “We’re okay.” He nudges his nose with yours again, “I want nothing more than for us to move past everything we’ve been through, moving forward and have a good relationship.”
“You…” Your voice cracks with just the one word. “Shit, sorry.” You laugh pathetically, trying to calm yourself as you cry harder now. “I’m just…”
“I love you y/n.” Taehyung’s lips ghost over yours as he says these words, you feel your heart hammering in your chest when his hands travel to your waist and pull you into him.
“I love you so much. Holy fuck.” Taehyung breathes out, his own heart pounding when he feels you return his embrace. “Be mine…” he commands you softly and you melt for him all over again like it’s the first time.
“I am yours.”
Taehyung finally connects his lips with yours. He presses against you with the kind of passion you only read about in books, he holds you like it’s the last time and you can sigh in relief because it’s not. His hands grip at your waist, while your hands snake up into his hair while you pull him down so he can kiss you harder.
His lips move against yours now, there’s nothing slow and sensual about this kiss. Everything is rushed and sloppy, and you both cry out in satisfaction. Hands move all across your bodies, tongues dancing and slipping into the other’s mouth with desperate moans for more. More, more, more. You need to feel his love through every kiss, every touch, every moan. You are desperate for his love. You are just desperate for anything Kim Taehyung.
Taehyung is worse than you though. His needy hands find every inch of your body like he’s never touched you before. His fingers leaving a hot, burning trail of fire on your skin and god, you are soaking up the fire like it’s lava melting into you. Your chest is heaving, your erratic breaths making you light headed. Or is it Taehyung making you lightheaded?
You break from his kiss, your lips attaching themselves to his neck and he moans out for you, saying your name and making you even more lightheaded than before. Your hands go to his chest, your fingers dragging down the material of his shirt before you feel what you are looking for.
“God…” You breathe out against his skin, “I’ve been dying to touch you like this.” Your hand wraps around his clothed length, gripping on to it making him groan.
“Yeah, baby?” Taehyung sighs out when he feels you dip your hand into his sweatpants and feel his hard cock, skin to skin. “Fuck, y/n.” He slams his eyes shut, bucking into your palm. You go back to kissing his neck, sucking bruises into his soft skin and he releases a long breath in approval.
“Baby…” he grunts when you tug on his head, feeling his precum dribble out. “I will seriously come in less than a minute if you—”
“You want to save your cum?” Your tongue licks at his throat, “Save it for my pussy?”
Taehyung’s eyes roll around his head at your words, his cock throbbing and aching for release already and you’re barely even getting him off.
Taehyung is losing his control…he’s never been so willing to let you have your way with him. He’s literally so desperate because he’s so, so in love with you. But he needs to have some control or else he really will fucking come in your hand.
“No more, my love.” Taehyung tears your hand away from him, his cock on the verge of spilling his seed. “Can’t come yet, we aren’t even naked yet.” His dark chuckle makes you feel an intense shiver run all the way down your spine.
“Then we better take off our clothes.” You smirk and Taehyung leans in to kiss you again, his lips crashing into yours and moving against them so sloppily. His hands get busy, your shirt is off and thrown across the room and now he’s trying to slide your shorts down your legs.
“Fuck, please hurry.” You whine, the ache between your legs making you feel so pathetic. You’re so weak and useless, the ache so powerful that you think you might die if you aren’t touched soon.
“I’m working on it, baby.” Taehyung tells you, struggling to get your shorts off fast enough, he’s praying to every god that’s ever existed that your panties went down with them.
“Need you, Taehyung. Fuck, I need you so fucking badly.” Your hips grind into nothing, looking for any type of friction at this point. Your hands scramble at the waistband of Taehyung’s sweats and you’re rushing to drag them off him while he works on getting his shirt off. Finally, fucking finally you two lay naked in the bed. Heavy breaths and dark gazes on the other.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Taehyung tells you, his voice low and deep and raspy and holy fuck you could come to listening to him. “I love your face…I love your body…I love you.” He says, leaning down to kiss you. He kisses you slower this time, his hand making its way between your legs and you almost cry out in pleasure when his long fingers slip between your folds.
“You’re so wet baby.” Taehyung tells you between kisses, “You’ve been waiting to get touched, haven’t you?”
He swallows your answer, his fingers continue to slide around your wetness and you whimper when his fingers find your clit and he puts pressure on it before rubbing it nice and slow. Your body reacts exactly the way he wants it to…feeling satisfied with how quickly you succumb to his every movement.
“My baby…” He says against your lips, his tongue sliding into your mouth and you suck on it making him groan. His fingers slide lower and he’s finally got one finger circling your hole and then another…sinking both fingers into you at once. He feels the way you tense at the sudden intrusion, his lips staying on yours as you moan for him.
“Three?” He asks, you’re already nodding your head, your eyes staying closed as he enters a third finger. “So fucking tight. Gonna fit my whole cock in this pussy, right? You’re gonna swallow it whole? Gonna squeeze my cock with your tight pussy? Huh baby?” Taehyung asks, thrusting his fingers in and out of you as he ruts against your thigh. He’s getting lost in his own words, imagining your pussy wrapped around him before you’re reaching down and grabbing his rock hard cock.
“Taehyung.” You gasp out, his fingers never slowing down. “Fuck me baby. Fuck me, please fuck me.” You pant, guiding his body over yours. He pulls his fingers out of you and hovers above your body now.
“You need to get fucked?” He asks, breathless now. “Need my cock?”
“I need—” You’re interrupted when Taehyung’s fingers push past your lips and he has you sucking off your own arousal off his fingers.
“It’s a shame you got to taste yourself before I got to.” Taehyung pouts, “But I promise after I fuck you, I will eat your pussy until you’re shaking. Gonna lick your pussy until you are dripping, fuck, until all your cum is leaking out of you and you’re creating a wet spot on these sheets.”
“Taehyung.” You whimper, your pussy aching all over again and making you feel like if you aren’t getting filled with his cock then you might die.
“I know baby.” Taehyung places himself between your legs and comes closer to you, his face falling into the crook of your neck. “I need you just as badly…if not more.” He admits before taking his cock into his hand and lining himself up with your entrance.
You’ve never felt anticipation like this before…you’ve never felt so needy, so desperate. You have never experienced the feeling of needing a man’s cock to survive. But here you are, on the verge of tears because you need Taehyung to fill you to the brim.
Taehyung shutters above you as he starts to push his tip inside you…you immediately react, throwing your legs around his waist, your heels digging into his back, forcing him to push into you further.
“Fuck, hold on…shit…I’m so…” Taehyung breathes out roughly.
He pauses, lifts his head up just so his face is hovering right above yours and he locks his gaze with you. He sees the lust filling your eyes and he sees how your face contorts into a look of pure love and pure desperation. He finally moves his hips forward, pushing into you deeper now. The tip is fully inside you, engulfed and embraced by your warm walls. He bites down on to his bottom lip the further he goes, the further his cock disappears into you.
You are seeing every individual star in the entire solar system the more you feel his hard length brush against your insides. You can’t even begin to describe the feeling of having his dick buried inside you…his hips stuttering as he finally bottoms out.
“Oh my god.” He gasps, “You’re so tight baby.”
“Your cock is so big.” You tell him, your sultry voice making his cock twitch inside you. “You make me feel so full.” Your eyes start closing in pleasure, just his cock inside you is almost enough to make you see your end.
“You’re hugging me so tightly.” Taehyung grits out, “I need you to relax a little for me baby.”
“I’m trying. You’re just so…ah….” You try your hardest to relax your body, your muscles and Taehyung leans down to kiss your lips before locking eyes with you again.
“I’m going to move now…” He warns, his voice strained.
Taehyung slowly moves his hips back, his cock sliding out of you, brushing sensitive spots along the way making you moan out. He keeps his eyes on you before he’s pushing back in again, his body trembling in pleasure.
“That’s good babe.” You moan, “You can really start fucking me now…” You tell him, letting him know you’ve adjusted.
“Thank fuck.” Taehyung growls before pulling out faster now and snapping his hips into yours. Your moans are constant, the sound filling the room, your only competition is the sound of his skin slapping your skin. He’s really fucking you now. He grabs your legs and throws them over his shoulders and you cry out when he’s able to fuck you deeper, his cock sliding in and out of you with no remorse.
“Want you closer to me when we come.” You manage to moan out, your fingers playing at your clit. Taehyung grunts in approval before lowering your legs and laying on top of you without putting all his weight. He fucks you with so much purpose, so much feeling and so much desperation that you begin to crumble beneath him.
“Tae…” You cry out, “I’m so close.”
“Close for me, my love?” Taehyung doesn’t stop his thrusts, his hand going down to play with your clit himself. “You ready to come? You ready to clench around my cock and have it soaked in your cum?” Taehyung’s forehead is shiny with a layer of sweat, his body beginning to grow tired and his thrusts sloppy as he gets close himself.
“Want you to come too. Come inside me. Fuck I…” Your tits bounce with every hard thrust Taehyung gives you, his cock pounding inside you without rest. “Fuck…please come in me. I want your cum so badly…” You squeeze your eyes shut and moan his name.
“Yeah?” Taehyung’s face stays concentrated as he reaches his climax, “You gonna let me fuck my cum so deep inside you? Hm?”
“Yes,” You moan. His fingers rub your good spot over and over making you feel the most intense buildup of your life. Your whole body is going tense, your back arches and your toes curl. And finally, every ounce of pleasure you have ever felt in your life washes over you all at once. The feeling is so euphoric as Taehyung continues to hit you so deep with his cock, his length hitting a certain spot over and over that you can’t control the amount of pleasure you are feeling.
“Holy fuck,” You chant, your walls clenching around him so tightly that he gets so overwhelmed and feels his own orgasm hit him as well. He stills his hips and moans out your name as he release every last drop of cum inside you. You’re both left completely breathless at the feeling of coming for the other, you’ve soaked his cock and he’s filled you to the brim with his cum.
“Oh my god.” Taehyung’s erratic breaths are hard to calm after coming that hard, “You feel so incredible.” He says, kissing all of your face. “I have never felt this fucking good.”
“Me either.” You tell him honestly, your own breaths are quick and heavy. “That was amazing.”
Taehyung hates it but he knows he needs to slide out of you now, his cock is beginning to soften and he knows there’s a huge mess to clean.
“I love you.” He whispers, rolling to your side, “In case it wasn’t clear. I’ve been in love with you since the island and I’m still in love with you. I never stopped loving you either.”
You turn to face him and smile so genuinely that you are sure no other smile in your life has ever been real until this one.
“I love you too.” You lean forward and peck his lips, “Always have and always will.”
“I think a shower and some clean sheets are in order.” Taehyung laughs and you join him, nothing has ever felt more perfect.
After showering and changing your bed sheets, you and Taehyung sit on the edge of the bed and share sweet kiss after sweet kiss. He holds you close, whispering every little thing he loves about you. You giggle and return his kind words with your own. Your hands explore his body as he sucks pretty bruises into your neck. You feel yourself grow warmer and warmer, your head thrown back as he leaves bruise after bruise. It feels good, it all feels so good.
You’re on the brink of closing your eyes at the growing pleasure when the TV catches your attention. Your body goes absolutely rigid. Taehyung notices the change in atmosphere and looks at you, confused until he whips his head in the direction you are staring at. You’re sure all of the blood in your body has run cold. The only thing you can hear in the room is your loud racing heart, along with Taehyung’s. What…what the fuck? Your eyes bore into the TV screen and you gulp. White screen with black letters.
“PASS”
-End-
#bts#kim taehyung#bts smut#taehyung smut#bts fluff#bts angst#bts fanfic#taehyung fanfic#taehyung x reader#taehyung fluff#taehyung angst#the island chapter 19
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Reasons Wretched and Divine (Pt.5)
Genre: hybrid au, polyamory au, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Pregnancy
Parings: Snake hybrid! Yoongi x Dog hybrid! Jimin x Dog hybrid! Namjoon x Pregnant! Reader, Platonic Vmin, allusions to 2seok,
Summary: You live on an isolated but sprawling farm with your abusive husband, but things start to change for the better when your husband adopts a retired police dog hybrid named Namjoon.
Tags: hurt/comfort, panic attacks, past abuse, food-related anxiety, Post-traumatic stress disorder, low self-worth, bonding over trauma, Jimin has self-esteem issues, internalized victim-blaming, mute characters, scent-marking, brief gore, but don't be fooled- this is equal parts angst and fluff
W/c: 13k
Song Rec: Talos - to each his own
SERIES MASTERLIST (5/10 parts complete)
A brief interlude on hybrids pack behaviors, romantic attachment between hybrids, hybrid polyamory:
Though pack forming behavior is the strongest in canine type hybrids- pack behavior (also known as grouping behavior) is seen in every species of hybrid. It doesn’t seem that species has much of an influence on which hybrids will choose to form a pack either- as interspecies groups are incredibly common accounting for around 50% of all hybrid packs.
Though polyamorous behavior might seem strange to human owners; to hybrids, it’s a natural extension of the pack dynamic. It’s what keeps pack bonds strong and reinforces existing dominance structures within the group. That doesn’t mean that love between hybrids within a pack is any different than the love that hybrids might have with their owners or love between humans.
Packs that are decided in juvenile periods of development more mobile and eventually break apart as hybrids age, and then re-solidify in adulthood. In many cases, hybrids without packs tend to be better adoptees as removal of one or more hybrids from a pack can result in many of the same markers associated with removing an imprinted hybrid from it’s imprintee. for that reason, the modal age from 16-22 is the best age to adopt hybrids.
Though one might assume that because of imprinting- that humans would exempt from being apart of hybrid social structure; this is untrue. humans usually seem to be on the more alpha side of the dominance structure, however evidence of this is anecdotal at best and will further statistical significant results in order to be proven.
When packs are settling and a new member is being admitted, this can often result in a period of turmoil in the group dynamic where stereotypically alpha members may act more submissive, or vise versa, where the new pack member is being admitted into the social structure and dominance is questioned.
- Yoongi tilts his head at your words staring Jimin down, before he juts his chin out at him, glancing back at you. “Oh I forgot! you probably haven’t been introduced. Yoongi this is Jimin, Jimin this is Yoongi. If you haven’t guessed Yoongi is a snake hybrid- one of the very few of his kind.”
- Jimin tries to recoup some of his politeness and struggles to smile at the hybrid; Jimin holds his hand out for Yoongi to shake, “it’s nice to meet you.” Yoongi stares at Jimin’s hand for a moment and makes no move to take it. It hangs there for a palpably awkward moment before you grip Jimin’s hand and pull it down to hang in between the two of you. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, not letting go of it.
- Jimin feels flustered as Yoongi lifts the bag of gardening equipment that Jimin had missed by his side and gestures towards a field. You must have some sort of established language because you answer his question. “Yes, we will be doing the veggie garden today Yoon,” Yoongi makes a huffing noise in agreement, and heads down the path. You tug Jimin after him.
- Jimin is perplexed at the lingering silence, even as they reach the far vegetable garden (and Jimin realizes you haven’t let go of his hand with a flush and makes to detangle it or risk feeling like a creep). You’re not trying to feed the whole of the farm with the produce, but that’s certainly an eventual goal of yours.
- It’s large, probably 30 by 50 feet at the very least. You have rows of tomatoes, potatos, carrots, and a half plot of butternut squash and tiny watermelons nothing more that flowers. You start to instruct Jimin on how to tie up The tomato’s that have started to sag with the rain and their continuing growth away from their circular cages. Instructing Jimin how to do the same with the green twine.
- “Gardening is easy,” you tell Jimin, “You have to have some patience, nothing grows overnight.”
- The smell of the wet earth seems to lul the three of you into a hazy silence, He purses his lips, brain running full of information before you turn to him, “got any questions?”
- he has a lot, so many, they spill out. “How many different types of plants do you try to grow? Which one is your favorite? Do you grow any flowers or do you only have your garden for those? What about like seasonings and stuff? those are plants right?”
- Jimin asks a lot of questions, but you seem happy to answer them. Especially once you start harvesting the tomatoes. “You mean you’ve never had one fresh?” Jimin shakes his head “no, most of the food I ate was like, chips and other dried stuff- if he ever bothered to feed me at all” Behind you Yoongi snips through some twine angrily, the older hybrid huffs, shaking his head at that, but still dosent say anything.
- It’s the most communicative that he’s been the whole day, but his displeasure at that is clear. Yours too, Jimin hadn’t even realized he’d said something concerning until he hears your dismayed noise and looks up from what he’s doing to see your jaw tight, that familiar anger in your eyes.
- Before he starts to feel like he’s done something wrong, messed up another job just like he’d done with all the others, you smooth away his worry. “Here, you can try one if you want” you hand him a half dozen tomatoes that are so dark they’re almost purple, then add a few more for good measure until they’re almost spilling out of Jimin’s hands. They’re still warm from the sun Jimin can tell, you give him an encouraging nod “go on- they’re sweet I promise” he slowly lifts one to his lips and bites down.
- The tangy fruitfulness explodes on his tongue- He actually yips, his floppy ears lifting up in his sun hat and his tail wagging so quickly you think he might just take off. By the time he’s done with the first, he’s already reaching for the second, and then looking at the other unripened ones around them hungrily.
- You and Yoongi laugh, though for Yoongi it’s only the twitch of his shoulders and a strange hissing sound as he opens his mouth, gums on display as well as his slightly elongated incisors (and they look sharp, Jimin feels ghoosebumps erupt on his arms). Jimin shyly hides his blush under the brim of his sunhat. “They’re so good! I didn’t think they’d be so tasty- it doesn’t taste anything like ketchup at all!”
- You wince when you think that he’s never had anything other than ketchup to compare what a real tomato tastes like. You and Jimin lapse into a comfortable companionable silence and you don’t say anything when Jimin sneaks a cherry tomato here and there. Though you do hide your smile when he makes a sound of disgust when he decides to try a green one after he’s eaten all of the ripe ones in his area. You catch his cheeks puffed up more than once when you turn to ask him to do something, and your heart melts a little at his chubby cheeks.
- When Yoongi leaves soon after to grab some fresh seedlings for the herb garden you’re quick to explain to Jimin about Yoongi. You want to make sure Jimin is comfortable, but part of the reason why you’d asked him to help in the gardens in the first place is because of how genuinely friendly Jimin is, and how closed off Yoongi is from the rest of the hybrids at the farm.
- Yoongi is the only other hybrid besides Namjoon that stays in the main house with you. You explain to Jimin that he has issues regulating his internal body temperature and need a heater and several heated blankets even in the summer. “Some of the others see this as preferential treatment- when really it’s just what he needs, and it doesn’t help that he doesn’t talk to any of them.”
- “Does he talk at all?” Jimin asks, just as his ears start to pick up on returning footsteps of Yoongi back over the field. “Not that I’ve heard” your whisper hushes when Yoongi comes close with the 12 packs of herbs, gestures to Jimin to follow him.
- Jimin’s heard more than one of the teenage hybrids bemoaning the lumps in their mattresses and their envious rants of how comfortable the beds in the big house are. (Apparently, there’s a closed-off second apartment suite in the side part of the house where the hybrids are allowed to spend their heats when they have them, though you’re working on fixing up what once a stable house to make a more private place for that)
- Jimin thinks that the other hybrid obviously hasn’t spent enough of his life sleeping on the floor because Jimin’s bottom bunk below Taehyung’s is more than comfortable enough. But he keeps that particular opinion to himself.
- He’s also sensed how conversation comes to a halt whenever the snake hybrid comes near for the lunch line or to get a tool from the shed or get Namjoon for something (Namjoon always ends up supervising the more technical chores, having a knack for mechanics and putting things together, like the soaker hose system that will enable some of the vegetables to get more consistent watering as the summer tugs on). Jimin dosent know how he didn’t notice the hybrid before now, but he must have been there the first few days, Jimin was probably just too overwhelmed.
- Even Taehyung seems to quiet down in the Yoongi’s presence, whenever he comes to visit Jimin on his break in the gardens or brings them watermelon from the big house for a snack (though when Yoongi hungrily scarfs down a few pieces Jimin does see a small smile play at the edge of Taehyung’s mouth)
- Jimin never catches any sort of aggressive behavior or meanness from Yoongi beyond a roll of his eyes at those who quiet when he walks by, turning to Jimin so that he can see.
- Jimin decides after the second day that he dosent mind yoongi at all. his presence is comforting even next to Jimin in the dirt, help you dig holes for sprouts and seeds. Jimin holding the latter when Yoongi goes up to check on one of the peach trees (you have a full orchard tucked back into the side of the property- accessible only by walking through the woods and Jimin can’t wait for summer when the fruit is ready if fresh peaches taste anything like the canned kind that Jimin is used to- he thinks he’ll like them).
- But Jimin does see Yoongi’s shoulders tense and his hands tighten a little at times, especially when he sees the other hybrids engaging in leisurely time. Jimin sees Yoongi’s yearning look at the dog hybrids throwing a Frisbee in the empty field between the barn and the main house when they call for Jimin to join, or the cat hybrids grooming each other in the shade all cuddled up or the pair of tiger hybrids stretched out nuzzling into the grasses and flowers.
- Jimin figures the hybrid must be lonely, and he can’t blame him, being surrounded by a community like this and somehow set apart from it doesn’t sound nice at all. Sometimes Jimin wants to reach out and tug a stick out of the elders hair- but even you seem to be careful not to be physically affectionate with the snake hybrid, and Jimin has seen you scratch the ears or hug just about every hybrid that lives at the farm.
- Jimin doesn’t realize Yoongi’s caginess might be for a deeper reason until Jimin accidentally touches him.
- It’s a hot day and you’ve just gone inside to get all three of you some sweet tea from the pitcher, and He swears he was just asking for a shovel. Jimin had accidentally touched his arm. His fingers ghosting over the line of dark scales gently. And before jimin had realized his misstep- Yoongi had started shaking so violently.
- His hands clenched and his shoulders quivering- shivering. Looking strange in the heat of midday and the too-bright slant of the noon sun. Jimin has seen Yoongi shiver in the slightest breeze before, but this, this is so much more than that. And it’s hot, but Yoongi doesn’t look like he’s sweating at all which almost seems more dangerous.
- “Hyung? Are you okay? Hyung?” he gets nothing in response- not a small shake of his head or eye contact, just Yoongi’s unfocused gaze, little huffs of breath coming out from his clenched teeth.
- Jimin didn’t think- just ran to get Namjoon, working in the field closest to them, almost falling after he heaves himself over the fence. Namjoon is already running to meet him when he’d heard the younger shouting his name. Looking panicked- Jimin can barely get the words out, “it’s Yoongi he’s- I think he’s having a panic attack or going into shock or-”
- “Take me to him Jimin,” Namjoon says dropping his shovel and easily keeping pace with Jimin as they dash back to the vegetable garden. Namjoon steadying Jimin with a hand fisted in the back of his shirt when his foot hits a divot in the ground and he almost trips.
- They find Yoongi in the same spot, still quivering like a willow in a thunderstorm. At the sound of his name coming from Namjoon’s lips, Yoongi sharply looks up, his eyes focusing after a moment before they go hazy again and he starts to cry in Ernest.
- Namjoon had quietly led Yoongi back inside the house, you set the pitcher on the table hard enough that the dark tea spills over the side when you see Yoongi and namjoon in the doorway, the elder hybrid sagging when he sees you, his knees weak. You say his name, and Yoongi’s eyes focus again, You don’t touch Yoongi. You’re very clear and careful with your intent grabbing onto the edge of his sleeve before you tug him, speaking in a low voice and guiding him up to the second floor and back to his room- probably the direction of the shower to cool off.
- Namjoon puts a hand on Jimin’s shoulder, smoothing it over the back of his neck. “Jimin- hey pup- it’s fine” Jimin looks up at Namjoon, panicked and imploring, tears in his own eyes and adrenaline in his system for the first time in weeks. Fuck- he’d forgotten how terrible it felt to be afraid “I didn’t mean to trigger him I swear-“
- “Jimin- it’s okay, Yoongi will be fine he just probably needs to sleep and to cool down a little, it probably wasn’t even your fault- we should have known this would happen on such a hot day.”
- Namjoon’s voice is honeyed and soft, expression torn as he looks down at Jimin from the upper step. “This just happens to him Jimin, it’s not your fault.” Namjoon reaches up to thumb away a tear on Jimin's cheek that he hadn’t realized he’d let out.
- it shocks him almost more than the sudden affection does. Enough that he lets out a low whine. Not knowing what to do with his hands until they close around the hem of namjoon’s flannel, jerking the larger hybrid towards Jimin, making his pine scent settle over Jimin like a comforting blanket - strong and alpha and everything Jimin wants to press himself into-
- A cat hybrid bustles through the entryway carrying a crate full of something- headed for the basement refrigerators, and Namjoon straightens, his mask of careful control back in place- (like it always does, Jimin thinks a little sourly) as Jimin steps away and shakes off. Jimin wonders if he had dreamed up the brief heavy look in his face or if it had never been there at all.
- Both of them hear the sound of you upstairs, lingering “Do you want me to stay?” a pause, and then you continue, “okay, I’ll come to check on you later- don’t turn the shower on too cold or else you’ll go into shock okay Yoon?”
- If Jimin did know any better (and he certainly knows better) he would have mistaken Namjoon’s look for the same one he gives you when you reappear at the top of the stairs, Namjoon and Jimin spill onto the landing to make room for you. Namjoon’s hand hovers on your arm, tugging you in close for a moment, he can audibly hear the swallow you let out as Namjoon buries his face in your shoulder, tension locked in every muscle of his body until he exhales.
- “I’ll help you with the garden for the rest of the day just let me grab my hat Jimin.” You say, smiling at him, but Jimin can see the clenched worry in the set of your mouth. Namjoon gives your retreating form a withering look and he tells Jimin under his breath, “make sure she rests when she gets tired okay?” Namjoon asks, to which Jimin nods, his tail swishing between his legs. “I heard that!” you shout from what must be your and Namjoon’s room.
- You and Jimin spend the rest of the day watering the cutting garden, and Jimin finds himself asking you what kind of plants these ones are. They’re large and pretty. A little ruffly and torn looking but beautiful none the less with a strong floral scent that sort of reminds him of how you smell. Jimin likes them, especially the light pink ones that are the same color as the blushing sky.
- “We planted these for a local florist, they’re called peonies, and those are dahlias,” you say, pressing your face into one, the soft petals brushing against your cheeks as you rub your face into one, and Jimin feels his heart flutter like a butterfly. “hang on- you’ve got a little” he brushes away the Pollen on your cheek, “Thanks Minnie”
- Minnie- the butterflies in his heart flutter harder- probably causeing a tornado somewhere elce. He hides his blush by turning away to snip off some of the dying leaves with his scissors, trying to slow the thundering pace of his heart.
- Later that evening when the skin is purple-tinted dark blue, you stand in the cutting garden with Namjoon. Armed with a pair of scissors you snip the most beautiful blooms. Though it will be a few more days till you drive another shipment into town to the florist and you know the few blooms you take won’t be missed.
- “What are you doing?” Namjoon asks, taking the fist-sized blooms from you as you cut more. “Just making someone happy.” You say, And Namjoon just shakes his head. He knows what you’re talking about and who you're picking them for, And it might be for the puppy who always picks a wild cosmos and puts it on the strap of his sun hat, and looks at the two of you like he wants to be affectionate or dote on, but might not know-how.
- “He hasn’t had an easy day has he,” Namjoon says, voice low, you shake your head, because no- Jimin hasn’t and you’re only trying to make him a little happier. He seemed a little too shaken after the incident with Yoongi. a small act of kindness goes a long way.
- He finds them the next day shortly after breakfast, about to change into a pair of shorts so that he can swim in the stream with Taehyung and some of his other bunkmates before work starts. He finds the pink, white, and purple blooms stuffed into a jam jar on the small side table next to his bed. Blushing as his fingers skim over the edge. Unable to handle the sudden rush of hope and affection because he knows- he knows these must be from you- but he can’t imagine why you’d left them for him to find.
- “Someones got a secret admierer~” Taehyung teases with a sing song voice from where he changes- almost tripping as he steps into his red swim trunks. Jimin blushes and tries not to let him see.
- But when he really thinks about it- all he wonders is why. He’d hurt Yoongi yesterday- Someone who seemed special to you. He’d been half-expecting you to punish him at some point- not reward him with these flowers that he gets to look at when he falls asleep. Jimin hugs his pillow to his chest and lets the scent of you (because yes- you do smell like peonies) lul him into sleep.
- Yoongi appears by the middle of the next day to help Jimin twine up the lines of peas. Yoongi looks no worse for wear, if not for the bags under his eyes that seem a little shadowed, the elder doesn’t look like he’s gotten a wink.
- (Later- when you break for lunch- you and Jimin find Yoongi asleep underneath the shade of one of the oak trees that border the vegetable garden, His sun hat pulled low over his face to shield his eyes from the sun, and decide it’s better if you let him be for the rest of the day)
- Jimin is so puzzled by the flowers that he asks Yoongi about them. But the elder pauses, and shakes his head, making an X with his hands. And points to the other side of the garden where you stand, whistling a little and watering some of the carrots (the few that have managed to avoid the hungry bellies of the bunny hybrids)
- Jimin blushes and swats his hands at Yoongi’s small smirk. Saying “oh shut up!” even as Yoongi rolls his eyes, I didn’t say anything he can almost hear the other say.
- Late that night Jimin wonders what Yoongi’s voice sounds like. Then when the days press on, he starts to doubt that he’ll ever find out. But that's fine, they don’t have to talk to be friends. Not when he comes back from a bathroom break with a glass of water and ice for Yoongi only to find that the elder has filled his discarded sunhat to the brim with sweet Tomatoes and green beans.
- Namjoon makes a brief appearance one day to lug in a few bags of mulch in your private garden. Eyeing Jimin and Yoongi in the field, as Jimin points energetically to a small bright blue bird that seems very interested in some of the pees. neither of them makes to scare the bird off or pounce like a cat hybrid might, merely straightening up to watch, still as to not startle it, as it twitters and is joined by another bright blue bird and then two more.
- they fly away, and Jimin shouts excitedly and hops over to the fence, stoops to pick up a tiny bright blue feather. Jimin chats animatedly to Yoongi, who doesn’t respond but holds it up to the sky to compare the color. Both of them leaning around the light to see it, their straw hats bumping into each other.
- Jimin must ask Yoongi because he’s dropping the feather into his hand and tilting his head down so that Yoongi can stick the blue feather into Jimin's hat, right in-between an orange snapdragon and a dried pink clover.
- Namjoon sees the smile tugging at Yoongi’s lips and feels deep satisfaction. Later that night, curled up in your bed with your form propped up on many pillows, Namjoon tells you that you made the right decision to try and push Jimin and Yoongi to be friends. He’s gotten so much better; less twitchy and easy to startle. Both of them have really. They’re good for each other.
- you fall asleep with a soft smile on your face, cheek pillowed against the soft cream bedspread. Namjoon nuzzles his face into your stomach, resting his cheek below your breasts as you sleep on. You’re so used to his movements next to you that you barely startle. “Things are complicated little one,” he murmurs to the bump.
- Pressing a kiss to it through your large sleeping shirt (an old one of his) one of namjoon’s large work-roughened hands smoothing over it. “Only a few months now and you’ll be here. I can’t wait to meet you but I’m also scared.” He shakes a little as he thinks about it- about being a dad, about being parents with you.
- And then he thinks of the others, “We’re both going to need so much help, but I think you’ll like them too.”
- after he showers and before dinner time Jimin helps you and the few other hybrids set up the long table in the largest barn that serves as the dining room for all of the hybrids. As you hand out napkins, More than one of them asks you to get off your feet.
- He spends dinner on Namjoon’s left side and you on the other side and Yoongi next to you. The hybrid files in after everyone has already started at the line for the buffet of food. Keeping his head ducked and making himself as small as possible. Jimin tries to catch his eyes in hello but doesn’t manage too.
- - As April fades into may, Jimin starts to feel disconcerting comfortableness slip under his bones, the day’s aren’t exactly the same, but they do become familiar. And it doesn’t comfort him- it just makes Jimin anxious. the planting comes to an end, and the three of you find yourselves coming in earlier especially once it starts to get hotter. Because of the absence of work, Jimin often finds himself wandering the property without a task.
- The less work there is to do in the gardens, the more he looks to find something that will occupy him- any way to contribute more. He keeps helping during dinner time, to set out the tables and the dishes. And goes back and forth to the house to get anything he might need, unable to sit down until everything is done, even then, he barely gets a few bites in before he’s standing up to help bring the dirty dishes back to the house.
- You notice, Namjoon does too but you both quickly get dragged off to deal with another call that you’ve gotten to pick up another hybrid. And though Jimin might be hungry when he goes to sleep, it’s worth it to stay up to watch your car lights pull back up the long road to the main house. The anxiety in his chest is abated enough to where he doesn’t feel the hunger.
- That might be a bit of a lie, but really, he was hungry for so many years that he doesn’t mind.
- the presence of a new hybrid makes it worse. It’s the first house call you’d made since Jimin- thought you tell him that it hadn’t really been a house call at all. The locals in a beach town had seen a stray here and there lingering in the lagoon and the ocean waters.
- The otter hybrid named Hoseok looks like he’s been living on his own for a number of years. He’s Grubby, his hair overgrown but cut short by your hand in your kitchen the next day. And though he leans away from your hand when you try to touch his head, he eventually relaxes under your calm soothing voice, “That’s a good boy, there we go- now you look all clean and pretty!”
- “You think I’m pretty?” the otter hybrid has the Gaul to ask- shy- his eyes wide, and Jimin’s blood wants to boil. He sits with Yoongi at the prep table, helping the cat hybrids de-stem some of the peas and early spring greens that they’d harvested from the garden, and he almost nicks his hand on the knife he’s using. Next to him, Yoongi makes a noise and gestures at him to hand the knife over, he can see the scolding look on his face, “be more careful”
- He’s bubbly and happy after the first day, his little curved ears cooed at by the cat hybrids in the kitchen. Everyone likes Hoseok, Jimin should like Hoseok- but he can’t help but feel a little jealous at how he immediately fits in. He finds his place the first day when Jimin and Namjoon take him to see the sheep and other farm animals, immediately taking an interest in the thick skeen of bright red wool that Seokjin was hanging out to dry,
- The alpaca hybrid turns bright pink when he first sees Hoseok, all the way from his dye stained hands to the tips of his white ears. Jimin can hear the nervousness in the way he says “you can stay as long as you want- all day- it would be nice to have some company” which is funny because seokjin hates company- likes to be left alone with his radio and his pets.
- “Of course!” the otter says, ears flicking rapidly in happiness in his shiny curly hair, “can you show me how you dye the wool?” Jimin hasn’t ever heard the alpaca hybrid say so many words at once.
- Jimin wishes he didn’t feel jealous.
- But he realizes- as one of the cat hybrids comes to asks him which of the herbs in the garden are which, and finds that he does know how to differentiate between the different kinds- At least he’s earned his place here, for a little while he can pretend that he belongs here. He feels a little dizzy like he used too, unsteady with the pounding in his chest- he gets startled over the littlest things, Yoongi standing up too quick next to him or Taehyung’s loud laugh when he walks into the bunkroom.
- The next stage of his anxiety makes him annoyed, his will power worn down by his own inability to relax. He snaps at one of the bunny hybrids after she drops his clothes after they were freshly laundered, ignoring her apology when she drops it.
- He helps the cat hybrids who work in the kitchen making dinner one night and growls when they keep thanking him for staying “Jesus it’s nothing please drop it” and then immediately feels guilty afterward.
- He can’t be this way, Needs to stop being so easily irritable and taciturn. he remembers what his other bunkmates had said on The first day: Namjoon will throw anyone out who makes problems. Jimin dosent want to leave, can’t help the thudding breathlessness that fills his chest when he thinks about the possibility.
- He knows that Namjoon likes him, it’s the only fact that logically makes sense: that he acts differently around Jimin than the others. But he can’t shake the feeling that he doesn't really know for sure. And once the thought has fit its self into Jimin's head he can’t shake away the lingering feelings of dread- like he’s going to somehow lose his place here and have to leave.
- Jimin starts to gather snacks here and there, shoving them into the drawer of his side table, just in case so he has some when he gets thrown out of the farm.
- He even snaps at Yoongi at one point, when he splashes Jimin's feet accidentally with a hose, he grumbles and heads off towards the cutting garden mumbling about something that he needs to check, sequestering himself there for the rest of the day crumpling dried peony leaves in his fist. He misses the pregnant look that Yoongi shoots you- a worry you return.
- You can tell something’s wrong with Jimin- there isn’t any other reason why he’s suddenly started to withdraw from all of you. No longer lingering as much over the flowers and the fruits of your labor in the garden.
- You and Namjoon talk about it one morning after breakfast. Watching where Jimin’s sat on the grassy hill waiting for you and Yoongi to come out. Usually, he’d wait inside or sit on the steps but he hasn’t lately. You watch from the back of the house, looking out the window at him. Namjoons arms clasped around your middle. “Is it bad to assume that he’ll come to us if he wants to talk?” you ask Namjoon.“There's something wrong and I feel like I’ll just make him feel attacked if I ask”
- Namjoon looks conflicted, his fingers playing with yours, lacing and unlacing- your hands are so small His rough callouses feel good against your skin- rough in a nice way. “I’m worried too- but I think- maybe everything here has gotten to be too much for him, you know how overwhelmed he got in the first few days, maybe he just needs distance.” You nod against his shoulder, and though neither of you likes it. You think it’s what Jimin needs.
- It’s not really, so much of what's bound to happen could have been fixed by a little more care on your part- and you’ll never make the same mistake of leaving Jimin alone again.
- Over the next few days, Jimin can feel himself getting more and more annoyed- but he can’t for the life of him figure out why. He sequesters himself on the other side of the cutting garden trying to find some comfort in the flowers. But the peony rings just won't stay upright, the Dalia stakes too, and the daisy poles, the green garden twine won't stay tight in Jimin’s shaking fingers.
- Nothing feels right, he feels listless, skin feels itchy laying over the bit of pudge, he’s gotten since he came here and started eating 2 square meals and snacks every day. The tensegrity over his bones, never quite able to stretch, out the hot sun on his back. He feels sharp, his mind teetering on the edge of something he dosent understand.
- And like an idiot, he tries to ignore it.
- Jimin gets to his breaking point a day later- when you finally turn in from outside. It’s hot, and Jimin feels overheated and sticky with sweat, but he doesn't feel like he can leave yet and take a shower like he so desperately wants. One of the hybrids gave him a weird look when he was showering mid-day yesterday and he’d like to avoid that again if he can.
- Most of the hybrids wait until after dinner to shower but Jimin didn’t want to deal with vying for hot water. It was just another thing that made him frustrated. And he’s unsure if he’s more frustrated at the hybrid or at himself for making another social miss-step.
- It hits him there in your kitchen the reason why he’s so frustrated. He’s been here for a little over a month now and still- still he dosent understand the rules, the socal rules are still escaping him just as much the physical ones. In his old home- he got a shower whenever time allowed it- here it was seen as lazy to take one before the day’s work was truly done.
- There is sweat dripping down his back even as you get both him and Yoongi a glass of ice water from the pitcher on the table. “Do you want some watermelon?” Jimin shakes his head, unsure why he’s refusing when hunger aches in his belly. But someone else might want the watermelon on the table, someone else might need it so Jimin can’t have it- can’t intrude any more than he already does. He might break another fucking rule- it’s better, isn’t it? to just not take up space and resources when he can avoid it.
- “I could reheat some of the food from this morning if you’d rather have that? or we could make something else before dinner?” you proffer, washing your hands in the sink, running over them with the brush to get the dirt out from under your nails.
- “No you don’t have to” he answers too quickly. You let the silence sit for a moment before you’re turning to Jimin, And he feels something that feels suspiciously like fear spark and itch underneath his skin. You look a little put-out, biting on your lower lip and for some reason it makes him feel even worse. Which doesn’t make any sense-
- Why would you be upset that you can’t help a dumb puppy like Jimin? who can barely garden right let alone do anything like a normal fucking non-damaged hybrid could do. He’s not Namjoon, gorgeous tall and capable Namjoon, or even like Yoongi who doesn't even talk but finds himself more needed than even Jimin- the most replicable hybrid on the farm.
- Why does he feel like he needs to placate you- why don’t you just fucking get it already. You dry your hand on a towel and lean back against the sink. Jimin takes a deep sip of the ice water but finds it makes him feel sick. “What’s wrong?” you proffer gentle and kind.
- “Nothing’s wrong,” he says, he sets the water down too hard and he tries to turn away but you don’t let him, grabbing his wrist. “Jimin,” you say, and he doesn’t know if it’s a plead or a command from you. Maybe if you did command him Jimin would understand better, would know what you wanted better than all of this- all of this assuming that drives him crazy.
- He rolls his wrist out of your grip, suddenly whirling around, his voice a growl. “Would you just leave it- fuck- I’m fine,” Jimin can hear dimly, the footsteps above which must be Yoongi. Pausing and then rushing when he hears Jimin’s elevated voice.
- You pause for a moment, picking your words carefully “Jimin, you don’t seem okay- I know something’s been bothering you. Come talk to me about it, tell me about it,” Jimin’s scoff feels acrid in his lungs. “No thanks, don’t want to feel like more of a burden than I already am.”
- You recoil- shocked “Jimin what? you really think that? you’re not at all! please don’t think that, don’t think that you’re a burden! We love you- we care about you- we’re just worried”
- Jimin shakes his head, angry, he’s not even sure why he’s fucking angry, “You don’t love me” Maybe it’s the frustration, the frustration at all the heavy looks and all the kindness- none of which Jimin knows how to interpret or how to decipher.
- He dosent know why he said it- even though deep down he’s sure it’s true. He knows you love him. And suddenly the words are spilling out of him along with all of the fear and anxiety and petty anger. Even though deep down Jimin knows that he really doesn’t have anything to be angry about
- “I hate when you walk on eggshells like I’m going to go fucking awol because I can’t fucking adjust to living like this- and then go on treating me with so much affection like I fucking deserve it.”
- “Jimin- you’re not- we don’t walk on eggshells around you because we want to keep you far away, we do it because we want you to feel comfortable, we don’t want to force anything on you-”
- “Force me to do what? Force me to help out even if not doing so would make me a freeloader, but if I help too much then- it sets me apart and I just don’t fit in- I’m not even like apart of everything here- when I’m fucking suffocating under what no one says- no one tells me. So what? What can you possibly say that will help? That won’t hurt?”
- For once, you fall silent. Your hands drop, and Jimin feels the guilt swell up, strengthening to a crescendo before he falls falls falls and has nothing but the anger to comfort him, even as tears cloud his vision.
- “You treat me like this- like I’m fucking worth anything at all and it drives me crazy- I’m not like you- You ask me to confide in you but you wouldn’t fucking understand if I tried- I’m the fucking dregs of what anyone wants and I’m never going to be like the others- I’ve already fallen too far behind and you might as well give up-”
- “Jimin” its Namjoon at the door, his voice full of caution, not anger- Jimin expects anger but when he looks up all he sees in Namjoon biting his lower lip and looking like he’s about to cry. He reaches out to try and touch him but Jimin flinches back, namjoon freezes, eyes wide and worried. Jimin’s tail drops low, and he pushes past Namjoon without a second thought, leaving you there- you let out a strangled aborted noise in your throat.
- His beat-up second-hand shoes thud against the wooden steps and the adrenaline is still firing in his system telling him to get away from you. Namjoon calls his name and he breaks out into a run across the field, his ankles almost failing when he stumbles in some of the holes. The tears in his eyes burning as he runs and runs and runs.
- I’m never going to be like them, I’m too damaged for a life like this, I’m never going to understand how to function because- because I wasn’t raised like them. And it’s too late to learn- it’s too late for the life he wants- even though he never wanted it until they showed him what life could be like.
- Jimin feels terribly alone.
- Taehyung finally finds Jimin in the paddocks, deep in the barn with a baby lamb in his lap. It’s little soft pink and white body sitting in Jimin’s lap. Docile at his pets even as the hybrid sniffles, nibbling cutely at his fingers. He puts a hand on Namjoon’s arm, wordlessly telling him to stay behind with Seokjin. “Thanks for getting us Jin” Jimin hears him whisper. Even if he dosent sit up or stand to acknowledge his bunkmate's presence.
- “That looks a little nasty,” Taehyung says, gesturing at Jimin’s hand. He’d fallen on his mad run, his knuckles grazing the ground. And they’re a little bloody and dirty. It’s not that bad though- Jimin has felt worse pain.
- “You want to talk about it yet?”
- “No,” Jimin says too quickly, worried that Taehyung would leave and also- that he would stay. “But I think I should?” The little lamb seems to tire of Jimin’s restless pets and migrates over to Taehyungs lap. “Where were you before you came here Tae?” in all his weeks at the farm Jimin has never asked Taehyung about his own origin story. But the hybrid dosent look surprised or unwilling. The lamb lets out a little bleat.
- “You know the story probably, its the same one a lot of us rare breeds have- rich family- bought me as a present for their youngest son- never knew my parents, you know- the classic hybrid trifecta of angst”
- “I didn’t know my parents either,” they shift to sit back against the wall of the barn. “How did you end up here?”
- “He wasn’t always violent, but by the time his parents realized it had gotten out of hand, they barely cared he was hurting me only that I bit him back- they didn’t tolerate it and sold me to a circus.” Taehyung gets a faraway look in his eyes.
-“I refused to perform, and they put me out in the sun without food or water until I agreed, I escaped within the first week, they didn’t realize that the chain was rusty enough for a hybrid to break.” Tae’s softness has always been disarming, but Jimin has also seen the bear hybrid lift 50-pound bags of flour like they weighed nothing.
- Jimin thinks about his next words carefully, “Do you ever, think it would have been better if you stayed? sometimes I think I deserved it.” Taehyung’s inhale is jagged- “No- Jimin- you shouldn’t- you didn’t deserve what you got I promise you”
- Jimin looks down and tries not to feel upset because- he feels like he deserved it even if Taehyung is telling him he didn’t. The bear hybrid has never lied to him and maybe, just maybe Jimin didn't- maybe he really hadn’t deserved it.
- “I don’t miss it not really- but- sometimes I think- my body does or maybe my head? It’s hard to explain.” Jimin knows Taehyung is trying. Tae puts his arm around Jimin’s shoulder, his wide hands rubbing up and down Jimin’s spine. Jimin tucks his face close to his knees and lets Tae touch him. The repetitive pets feel nice.
- “Why do I feel so scared Tae? Why is everything so hard? why do I feel like I don’t deserve anything good? There are so many things that I don’t understand or don’t know- so many things I never even knew I didn’t know.”
- “I think I might know someone who understands how you’re feeling Minnie.”
- Jimin tries to turn away when Taehyung leads him up to the front porch where you sit with Yoongi, but his hand is strong on the back of Jimin’s neck. Jimin is a little startled to see Yoongi’s hand withdraw from yours quickly. “It’s okay Yoongi, wanna give us a minute?” you say, standing along with him as Jimin rises on the steps, hands clenched by his side.
- Neither of you talks, Jimin can’t look up to meet your eyes. Taehyung and Yoongi sigh at the same time. “I left some of my beekeeping gear down at the bottom of the hill- if you help me carry it up I’ll give you some honey?” Yoongi scoffs but shows a small smile as Tae turns and starts off with him down the hill. Yoongi sends Jimin a single pitying glance before he does.
- “I think the squash is probably done cooking by now, Come inside.” The ground floor of the farmhouse is empty but filled with a mild sweet scent. All of the other vegetables are already set out, The carrot, celery, And onion already chopped. It doesn't look like there's enough to feed the whole farm and Jimin is about to ask when you clarify. “I thought it would be better if we all ate together tonight, and this soup is a little specialty of mine.”
- You go to the cellar door and opening it. “Go downstairs, look at the floor- and tell me what you see.” Jimin listens- he’s always been good at following instructions.
- The cellar smells musty and cold he’s careful not to trip over the extension cords that wind down the stairs, the industrial-sized freezers and refrigerators hum and buzz. There is a barely-there stain in the concrete, rust-colored, fading like someone had tried to wash it away but hadn’t been able to it.
- “Why is there a bloodstain on your floor?” Jimin says as he comes up the stairs, taking them two at a time. You're just stirring vegetables in the pan. “iI’s mine,” you say, turning the heat down and covering it. Jimin's breath catches. You start fiddling with the other burner, “You’re not the only one who's been through some shit Jimin,”
-“Who hurt you- when.” Yimin pulls out a place for you at the prep table and you make a noise when you see his bloody hand, “my late husband,” Jimin's eyes hover on your stomach for a second before you flinch, turning away to retrieve the first aid kit from below the sink.
- “Why did he hurt you?” Jimin asks as you pull his hand close to you to rest on the table, carefully and gently dabbing at the broken skin with a cool cloth to clear away the dirt. You’re so gentle that It barely stings. A lock of hair falls in front of your face, and Jimin reaches across the table to tuck it behind your ear.
- “Honestly? I have no idea. Maybe some people are made rotten- maybe it’s easier to hurt others than hurt- but regardless- I hate him- hated him- But I also loved him at one point. And I think- until Namjoon came- I honestly was dependent on his approval, did you feel dependent on your old owner?”
- “Every day. I don’t miss him- I hate him too- but” Jimin’s hands are shaking when he looks down at them. ou steady them a little- rubbing ointment into the scrapes “I think that I miss understanding everything that was going to happen, knowing what my purpose was.”
- Your face is shadowed and dark as you keep working- you might not be able to fix Jimin’s mind- but you can help this- the wounds on his body that ache in time with the pulse of his heart. “People like us- we miss abuse because we get dependent on it- because it ran your life and now- you can’t make any choices without-”
- “Without thinking you’re making the wrong one because choices have consequences and now they don’t- not really- not in the same way. It was like that for you too?” you nod, starting putting bandaids across Jimin’s knuckles. The onions in the pan smell good and start to sizzle. Jimin is almost breathless when he asks- cuz now you’ve helped him put it together he needs to know “How did you get out- how did you learn?”
-“Namjoon was really patient with me, he gave me what I needed without letting me fall back into the cycle- I’m lucky to have him.” We’re lucky to have you, he wants to say, he’s never heard of a human who had been through the kind of abuse that hybrids do. But he thinks that maybe it would be wrong to say especially after the words he’d shouted at you. He winces, and you look up from his hand worried you’d hurt him. “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier- you didn’t deserve it.”
- You shrug, “We’ve been expecting you to be okay- and I’m sorry- I should have been more communicative. It’s kinda been a hard transition for you and I should have been there to help more.”
- “Why does doing what I want not feel free all the time? Why do the choices make me feel like im suffocating?”
- “Because if you don’t have a choice- you can’t make a wrong move.
- “Did you know- neither Namjoon or I can go into that basement without having a panic attack? There are other things too- like if something comes at his face too quick he growls- even if it's me. The smell of motor oil makes him feel sick and I still have nightmares- We’re still learning. The people we love don’t negate our trauma, but it helps at least when they try to understand it with us.”
- You set the last bandaid over his nuckles, and he reaches out to grasp at yours and give it a squeeze. You take his hand and lift it to your mouth all of the scrapes covered. You press a kiss to each bandaid and Jimin feels like he’s going to cry for a whole different reason- he feels so undeserving of your care and of your affection, especially after today.
- “I want to help you Jimin- I care about you too much not to try and make you happy,” Jimin can’t argue- not like he did before when he was too anxious not to perceive anything close to him as an attack. “What do you want? There are no wrong answers”
-“I want-” before he can answer, Namjoon and Yoongi walk through the door, the younger hybrid prattling to yoongi about the restorations currenly underway at once of the little chicken coops on the sothern edge- and then he looks back at you- your face a little tired, but truly truly imploring, Jimin feels a strange kind of acrid black hope lurch in his belly.
- Both of them smiling softly, Namjoon saying something and Yoongi nodding while makeing a so-so motion with his hands. When Namjoon looks up and sees the two of you sat on the kitchen table his tail wags and then falls still, then wags again when he sees both you and Jimin sitting close. Your hands still tightly clasped in each other.
- “I want to help you cook- can you show me how you make the soup?” Jimin lies. But you don’t catch it, even as you smile at him, and reach your hand up to touch his ears. Pull gentle scratches over them. “That we can definitely do,” you say. Namjoon and Yoongi don’t look upset with Jimin when they come close, Yoongi opening up the pan on the burner and sniffing the air. making a pleased noise in the back of his throat, “squash soup” you clarify and Yoongi smiles.
- Namjoon lifts Jimin’s hand up for inspection, “You okay?” Namjoon asks, his tail hanging low, he doesn't like to see the younger hurt- doesn't like the shyness lingering. “No,” Jimin says quietly, “But I will be,”
- Namjoon pulls him up with a whine, scent-marking along Jimin's shoulder- the other hybrid freezes and then whines when Namjoon’s scent puffs up fanning out to comfort Jimin. The other hybrid is so much larger than him, he makes Jimin feel so small. Namjoon’s hands on both of his shoulders holding him still. Jimin is breathless even after Namjoon pulls away with a faint blush on his cheeks- because Jimin- Jimin smells like Namjoon now.
- Every hybrid is going to know what Namjoon did that when he walks out. And it’s intimate- so intimate- because hybrids the only scent mark each other when they- Jimin's breath catches in his throat- when they belong to the same pack.
- That means Namjoon wants Jimin to belong here.
- “Can I-” Jimin knows his face is bright red, “Do me?” Namjoon proffers, and though Namjoon has to stoop for Jimin to rub his cheek all over Namjoon he does and looks happy, his dimples poking out.
- “What do I smell like?” Jimin asks, because honestly- he’s never known- never had another hybrid scent mark him. “Something flowery but more like- citrusy?” Namjoon says, taking in a deep breath at Jimin’s throat that makes a shiver run down his spine.
- Yoongi makes a noise and holds out a lemon- tapping it for a moment and nodding sagely, The visual makes you all giggle. You smile too, “What do I smell like?”
- “Flowers,” Namjoon says instantly, at the same time Jimin says, “Peonies... and cream?” Namjoon blushes- gesturing at your stomach, “that wasn’t there before- yeah” his dimples are so pronounced when he absently rubs a hand over your bump, You can't resist getting up on your tippy-toes to peck them.
- Jimin learns that even though he had asked you to teach him how to make butternut squash soup, that didn’t mean you were going to let him do any of the work involved. You explain how to do everything sure- but Jimin is banished to sit at the table with namjoon and watch.
- You and Yoongi cook, dancing around each other in a dance that seems almost choreographed. You must cook together often because Yoongi seems to anticipate your movement, handing you a wooden spoon to stir the vegetables.
- Namjoon pulls him back to lean against his chest facing where you cook, Namjoon’s back up against the wall the older hybrid combing his hands through Jimin's hair. Jimin would think it was weird had he not seen countless other hybrids cuddle the same),
- Yoongi brings Jimin spoonfuls which he presses to Jimin's lips and makes him taste. And Jimin wants to yip when the savory tang of the soup hits his tongue, makes a happy grumble as his eyes flutter closed. “Wait- that's so good- how is it so good?” you look happy at his praise.
- When it’s finished, the four of you eat out on the porch. Jimin licks his bowl clean, he catches Yoongi watching him, a small satisfied smile on his mouth, he even gets up and gives Jimin seconds. The warm soup fills his belly like liquid comfort. and after so many bowls he ends up listing to the side, nose pressed to the hard part of your shoulder, lulled further to sleep by the rub of your fingers up and down his skull.
-The kitchen starts to buzz with the noise of dinner preparations but jimin is full and happy, his sun-warmed skin soothed by the dropping temperature. You don't say anything when he starts to cry, his face hidden in your shirt, you just keep running your fingers through his hair scratching his ears. Namjoon and yoongi get up and go upstairs, leaving the two of you to sit side by side.
- No one hears the words you whisper into Jimin's ear, “You’re not broken beyond repair Minnie, help me- help me fix you- tell me what I can do to make things easier for you.”
- Jimin's eyes are half-lidded when he opens them, “Can you just- tell me things? Not order me- I’m not asking for you to like- control me- but I think if you just all told me what you want it would be better- take out the guesswork you know?”
- Jimin is so sleepy Namjoon ends up having to carry him back down to the bunks. his strong hands gripping Jimin under his thighs The smaller hybrid on his back, Jimin’s hands around Namjoon's neck. The younger hybrid nuzzling his nose into Namjoon's shoulder to get more of the pine scent on himself. They pause on the steps. The last thing Jimin is aware of is a puff of your scent and soft lips on his hairline. He wakes up in his bed the next day, his pillows smelling like Namjoon. His bunkmates give him strange looks.
- The next few days are better, and slowly but surely, the anxiety he’d felt dissipates. You give Jimin little moments to latch onto. the Stability of clearly communicated consent. You say “sit next to me” when dinner comes. Yoongi and Tae across from you at the table. “It makes me feel better the more you eat- I like seeing you full and chubby Minnie”
- The other hybrids help too- so you must have told them. Namjoon brings Jimin one of his old button-downs, a thick flannel that smells like the other hybrid. “This is too small on me now- so here- it’s yours.”
“Enjoying your courting gifts? Taehyung teases after he sees Jimin wearing it, making the younger splutter, “this? a courting gift?” Tae shrugs, “that's the only reason why he would give you something of his to wear- and both of us know it the alpha of a pack that initiates the courting.”
- The clearly communicated wants and desires do wonders for his level of comfort. Even Yoongi tries- writes down what he wants on a napkin at dinnertime. I want to help you in your garden today. No offering for Jimin to decline, no wiggling out of it. And slowly, Jimin finds himself becomes more comfortable with his place here.
- You try to keep the satisfied smile off your face when one day you ask Jimin to come up to the house- cuz it’s just too hot today- and he’s struggling to put together a trellis, “one second, I want to finish this before dinner” and he sits up with a jolt- realizing- he’d actually articulated his own wants for once, he’d asserted his own wants into a conversation instead of just- reacting to everyone else's.
- Your satisfied smile warms his heart too, you notice the slow change. jimin beginning to heal. “no- I don’t need that it’s okay” “yes you do jimin just take the fancy soap,”
- “Are you sure it’s okay if i-” “Yes it is I promise.”
- The change is slow but one day, He gets to the point where he can say “Tae and I are going to go try and find some berry patches down by the river so I’m going to meet him after we get done with the ground cherries” without fear
- Jimin takes a bucket and he brings back a quart of wild blueberries. You make blueberry muffins with them while Tae, Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin sit at the prep table. Yoongi carefully plucks thorns out of Taehyungs hand as Namjoon tells Jimin that even though Yoongi can cook- you’re the only one in the house that can bake. He even gets a pat on the head for his work and a soft “good boy” from you, and it makes Jimin's heart feel light and blooming like a flower.
- The afternoons stop making him anxious, and after the first few days, he’s inclined to relax rather than go in search of more work. He goes to visit Taehyung by the bee hutches, hovering a few meters away as Taehyung brings him a spoonful of honey. Or if he dosent feel like doing anything at all- he plays cards with you and Yoongi on your back porch, Namjoon too- if he finds out that you’ve all turned in for the day.
- Yoongi always wins during the afternoon card games. Whether it is poker or rummy the snake hybrid comes out on top- even when it’s something like Uno, and the elder will just shuffle the cards again for another round and smile a little, more than he does ever. And the three of you will shout and grumble in dismay when he shows his winning hand, round after round until dinner preparations start to pick up enough for someone to need help.
- One afternoon, you look so sweet in your loose taupe frock, the stretchy material pulled over your belly and your hair free from its fixings spilling over your shoulder Jimin sees the way that Namjoon has his palm placed against your round stomach and can’t stop himself from asking.
- “Can I?” Jimin asks, and you look up from your hand of cards and place them on the table before taking Jimin’s in yours, and oh, your baby bump is warm and soft and surprisingly more solid then Jimin expected. He wasn’t expecting to immediately feel like he was going to burst into tears, but he feels an incredible well of fondness well up in him. It must have something to do with the way that your peony and cream scent seems to tug at his heart like strings on a marionette.
- He wants to lean forward and press a kiss there- or nuzzle it and scent mark it the way he knows Namjoon does- but even that feels like too much. You must know what Jimin is wanting as you look down at him, smiling a little even as he blushes.
- Little does Jimin know that this is nothing particularly new to you, every time Namjoon gets a whiff of your pregnancy hormones- he’s gotten simultaneously possessive and cloudy eyed with protectiveness. Yoongi seems to be the only one who doesn’t have that reaction. But you bet he’s spared that particular embarrassment by his admittedly more human sense of smell.
- The rest of them don’t notice Jimin’s wave of emotions, or at least they pretend to be interested enough in the third round of hearts that you’ve played this evening. Though Jimin does catch a small smile on Namjoon’s face when Jimin scoots closer. Reluctant to let go now that he’s felt the soft pleasure of feeling your baby bump.
- The endorphin response alone has his voice husky, he’s a goner the second you lift your hand up and rub his ears, letting out a whine and putting his cards away- much more interested in begging affection off of you now.
- “How far along are you?” “Around 5 months now I think- nearly 6 now that I think about it.”
- The four of you decide to eat dinner out on the patio instead of joining the others in the barn. The older cat hybrid sees how slumped you are and how you’re near to sleeping on Namjoon’s shoulder, and brings the four of you out dinner plates, much to the thanks of Namjoon and Jimin, Yoongi nods gratefully when she hands over his plate.
- By the time Jimin reluctantly so steers his way back towards the barns, the common room lights have finally turned out. A lone fox hybrid sleeps on the couch in the common room, her head tipped back and the light from the tv blue across her face.
- He goes up to his bunk bed, the other hybrids sleeping soundly around him, perplexed to find his bed disturbed, his pillow gone and his blanket missing from his bed. He figured someone might not have wanted to get up to grab one from the linen closet downstairs, but when he goes down to the ground floor he finds it empty, not uncommon on a cold night like tonight. Jimin’s bare feet are already feeling the brunt of the cold stones, and the cozy but still slightly drafty barn.
- He goes up and notices that the hybrid that shares the bunk to the left is the one that’s taken his blanket. “Hey give it back” Jimin hisses hushed, fighting with the half-asleep hybrid whose eyes still haven’t opened, he’s clutching the extra warmth to his chest. “I need that to sleep” the dog hybrid on the bunk above them grumble and turn over in his sleep.
- Jimin puts a hand on his shoulder to really wake him, The hybrid, a wolf hybrid named Minhyung, wakes up with a start, arms already swinging, his foot kicks out at Jimin’s stomach. The sudden violent reaction tosses him onto the floor with a thump, waking those in the vicinity.
- Jimin tries not to let the stinging feeling invade too much even as his ass goes numb, and he flushes with anger, especially when one of the others whose woken by the brief scramble laughs at Jimin. Minhyung does too, looking barely contrite with half his hair messy and a little bit of drool on his cheek.
- Minhyung smiles showing his teeth. “Thought you’d be warming up that snake boy by now. Have fun sleeping in the cold.” He says, and turns to his side, ignoring Jimin. Jimin tries not to feel ashamed or rejected or any of the other nasty emotions singing in his chest at the indifference of the other hybrids in his bunk.
- A glance at Taehyung’s bunk, the only one who might come to his aid, confirms both that the bear hybrid was the only one without an extra blanket and is also still asleep.
- Jimin doesn’t even stop to think, he just knows that he doesn’t want to stay here on the bed, feeling cold and alone and like everyone in that room hates him. Feeling his head spinning, and his heart thudding erratically, he leaves the bunkroom and the barn and stops just outside. The cold is worse here and he tugs his fluffy cardigan around his shoulders before he starts walking slowly up the hill to the main house.
- The lights on the ground floor are all but turned off, but the glowing he can see in the living space foretells that of a television. He deliberates on the front porch for a second, wondering If he should even bother, momentarily worried that you’ll keep him out in the cold too.
-But he shivers and hopes beyond hope that you won't. And when he knocks on the door it's only a few seconds before he can hear someone get up. It’s not nearly enough time for him to think of a good excuse as to why he can’t sleep in his own bunk.
- It’s Yoongi that answers, bundled up in a pair of very warm flannel pajamas and a sweater, his hair curling against the nape of his neck from a fresh shower. The bright green tartan does wonders for Yoongi’s scales, making the ones on the back of his neck look brilliant even in the half-light of the porch. He’s a little wide-eyed and taken aback by Jimin’s presence, but he waits for Jimin to speak.
- “The others- they-” Jimin’s words fail him at the worse time, throat closing off into a whine, his ears pressed into his skull. “Is it okay if I sleep up here tonight?” Yoongi’s eyes are dark and half-lidded, but he steps aside instantly nonetheless. Jimin slips into the warmth of the house closing the door behind him.
- There is an old fashion black and white movie playing on the tv but Yoongi clicks it off and goes into the ground floor bathroom. Making a noise for Jimin to follow, he rummages around in a drawer and pulls out a toothbrush and a washcloth for Jimin to use to wash his face and leaves Jimin to wash up in peace. And comes back a few minutes later lugging a blanket with too many cords to seem logical.
- Jimin realizes what it is when Yoongi fluffs it out on the couch and a wave of Yoongi’s scent- like the crackle of heat and something that kind of smells a lot like marshmallows fluffs towards him- Yoongi’s scent. Taehyung’s words about courting gifts suddenly ring in his ears.
- “Yoongi, I can’t take one of your heated blankets on the coldest night of the season” Jimin protests. But Yoongi just shakes his head, putting his hand on his chest while keeping eye contact with Jimin meaningfully, then pushing his palm to the floor. jimin takes it to mean “I don’t need it.”
- Yoongi ignores Jimin’s protests and stoops to plug it into a surge protector anyway. The couch, which already has a pillow on it, looks even more inviting now.
- Jimin feels like a broken record uttering thank you after thank you even as Yoongi heads towards the landing, and up to where his room must be in the house, after nodding what must have been a goodnight at Jimin.
- The couch is so comfortable that jimin gets cozy quickly (even if it is a little squishy). His heart feels a little heavy with the events of the day. He’s sure you’ll ask in the morning, and probably Namjoon too. He falls asleep easily, sighing into the warmth of the blanket as it heats up.
- A story above, in the master bathroom, you’re pressing giggles and kisses into Namjoon’s bare chest. “Oh my god - we have to sleep it’s so late,” you already can tell waking up tomorrow at the crack of dawn is going to be brutal, but you can’t help it, Namjoon looks so soft and fluffy. He’s punch drunk and smiley with his hair ruffled at the back from the countless times you’ve tugged on it or ran your fingers through it in the past few hours.
- He nuzzles into your shoulder and hums. A strong arm clung over your waist that draws circles over the spot where your baby bump meets your hip. He pulls you snug against him, always closer- as close as he can physically get you.
- Namjoon whines, he never wants to sleep when it’s you in his bed- or more correctly- him in yours. Though it’s been months since he even thought about sleeping in his old room downstairs, and months since it was unoccupied by Yoongi.
- The only good thing about going to sleep is that he gets to wake up to you. The thought always has him going to sleep like a kid on Christmas, almost too excited to sleep at all. What a dichotomy love was, making you soothed and calm and at the same time too elated to dream at all.
- You try to get out of bed, prompting immediate grabby hands and a low whine that tapers off into a growl from his throat. You're immune to his display of possessiveness, and it only makes him melt into the sheets further. “Oh you big puppy,” you tease happily in response to his whines, Tying your fluffy pink robe around your waist concealing your nakedness as you head downstairs for a glass of water and leave the door open.
- Namjoon whines again with no one to hear and burrows into the warmth you left, getting impatient pretty quickly, kicking his feet a little when he presses his nose to your pillow and gets a particularly strong wif of your scent. his tail thwacking against the covers.
- The ground floor is dark, almost dark enough that you don’t see Jimin asleep on your couch. The blanket all but making him blend in. You only see him when you are already on the way back.
- You’re not exactly surprised to see him asleep on your couch as he hadn’t exactly looked like he wanted to leave earlier but there is something about the tense pull of his eyebrows that tell you there must be some deeper reason why he’s here. Oh well, you’ll find out in the morning, for now, you’ll let him sleep.
- The whining behind you and the sheer familiarity for Namjoon’s body is the thing alone that keeps you from being startled when his arms snake around your waist to rest on your baby bump. Namjoon stills for a second when he sees the figure on the couch. Jimin’s blonde curls puffed against the pillow, his thick lips pouting in his sleep.
- “Yoongi must have let him in.” Namjoon murmurs over your shoulder into your ear, hushed so as to not wake him, you make a noise in the back of your throat in agreement taking in the delicacy’s of Jimin’s face as he sleeps, unable to resist running the back of your hand softly over the top of his cheekbones.
- They’re so much fuller than they used to be you notice appreciatively. Brushing over his puckered lips, finally pushing back the blonde curls at the top of his head and running through his hair a little. Jimin tilts his face up, his cheeks flushed, Plush lips parting in a sigh as he chases your hand, needy for affection even in sleep. His ears twitching in the direction of your movement.
- “He’s so cute” you murmur. Namjoon stifles his laugh in your shoulders. “Yes” he agrees, his hands tugging on your waist, “now stop ogling the pretty pup and come to bed with me.” You grumble something like “you’re ogling too” but let Namjoon pull you back upstairs.
- On the couch, Jimin sleepily opens his eyes to the darkroom, hearing the thud of your retreating footsteps on the creaking steps. unsure of what he just heard was a dream or reality, the tide of sleep quickly pulling him down. The memory of the moment to be lost in his dreams by the next morning.
- When the four of you wake in the morning, it’s too a muffled shriek on your front doorstep. One moment namjoon is asleep curled around you and the next he’s vaulting down the stairs in only his pajama bottoms. Hauling opens the front door, splattering blood everywhere before Jimin can do more than stir and rub at his eyes.
- “Jesus what the fuck!” Jimin cries, rushing to the door while Namjoon blinks, Still half asleep and barely awake. One of the cat hybrids that usually come to cook has fallen back against the steps, disgust roiling in her face, hand against her heart in shock. “I promise it wasn’t me I just- I just was gonna get breakfast early and I came up and it was already there”
- Namjoon turns to the door, touching his face where the blood sticks smearing it against his cheek. Yoongi skitters down the stairs after Namjoon, socked feet sliding on the floor.
- “Fuck-” Namjoon growls out- turning to Yoongi, “don’t- Yoongi you shouldn’t-” Yoongi makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, goes pail, and Jimin makes the split-second decision, turning to him to block his view and asking him to go get a rag from the bathroom to wipe the blood off of Namjoon’s face. Anything to get him away from this.
- You're standing bleary-eyed at the top of the stairs in your Pajamas, “What is it Joon? what's wrong?” None of them knows how to say it, or what to say.
- Its blood has dripped down the blue chipped paint of the door and pooled on the porch beneath- its scales black and pearly just like Yoongi’s.
- On your front door, a dead snake hangs, gutted. It’s head nailed to the wood.
My Kofi
#bts jimin fic#bts#bts angst#bts hurt/comfort#bts fluff#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts hybrid fic#bts poly fic#bts hybrid fanfiction#bts polyamory au#yoonminjoon x reader#taekook#2seok fic#bangtan sonyeodan#bts yoongi fic#jimin fic#yoongi fic#hybrid kim namjoon#puppy! namjoon#yoonminjoon#minjoon#yoonmin#namgi#bts x reader#kim namjoon#min yoongi#park jimin#kim taehyung#jung hoseok
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hi my name is Bunny im 23 and every character im dating has a high danger level to them.
im a straight cis chick going by she/her and ive actually been in the self-ship/f/o scene for an extremely long time but made this blog in july 2021 to finally interact with the community.
this blog is also gonna be where i put n.s,f?w stuff since i’ll be more comfortable doing it here than on my main. but this is NOT an nsfw only blog. there are posts on here that are minor safe.
but please do NOT follow me:
without reading my carrd
if youre under 18. and if you REALLY wanna still interact, please only have it be on the minor safe posts
if l/e/w/d or suggestive stuff is something that could bother or harm you, although you can always block the tag for it, which is below this list. sexual content is not the main focus of this blog, so it wont all be that.
ESPECIALLY if you dislike kinks about blood, cutting, knives, wounds, bleeding, bites, body mutilation or pain during sex in general. i will at some point add a tag for posts with this content specifically. also no, i dont support doing this stuff irl, because im very aware that it could kill people. and no, i'm not into anything non-con. all my scenarios are 100% consensual.
if you dislike any of my f/os and are just gonna be talking trash about them, especially while talking to me 1 on 1. really only one of my f/os is a lil iffy but i headcanon that they get help so its fine.
if you selfship with irl people, including KPOP idols, MCYT "characters", or anything similar.
if youre proship, self-ships an abusive/incest/pedo/non-canon aged up/non-consensual/forced relationship. dont like it, dont want it near me. please respect that.
NSFW/suggestive tag is just this emoji 🫀.
my f/o list is also provided in the carrd.
main blog: @bunny-heels
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Aight so another oc dropped n here he Is😍‼️
Name: Shou
Pronouns: He/him
Gender identity: Trans man
Sexuality: Ace homoromantic
Age: Physically 18ish, otherwise around 200/300 y/o
Height:1.75 cms (6.10 in his demon form)
Species: Snake demon
Mbti type: Intj
Likes: Tea, Japanese fans, long nails (?), Masks, Prunus mumes (a type of flower), climbing trees, small insects.
Dislikes: Cold water, the scent of cinnamon/too strong scents, daggers, being powerless.
Personality: Seemingly calm and collected, Shou's whole persona Is sorrounded by mostly mistery, also because he doesn't really want to show true emotions if not because of special situations. He can also be really flirty but as an advantage for his goals, but would rather not involve himself into doing so. He can be kind of clueless sometimes, but that doesn't mean he's all naive.
Some hcs/lore/facs thing bout him🍵
Even though he lives in a specifical near-water place, he has his own on land shrine, where he prefers to dedicate himself ti worshipping his own family's gods. Speaking of which, let's just say he's not fully a demon snake, his fam was primarly made of human worshippers, but his father who was fully one left his mother and himself out there. Shou's mother being primarly an human decided to distanciate herself by him, though, occasionaly, he visited her n had surprisingly a very neutral relationship. After her death, he doesn't blame her for having to put w a son like that, as It was better for both to not interact under normal circumstances, and now sometimes visiting her grave to put some new flowers there. He still has some loyal servitors to help him throughout his years, so Shou's thecnically not alone.
Aight lil angst hc there cuz I've thought bout It for a while, so another reason for him to be so feminine was to please his mother, so he could've hidden his abilities and make It seem like everything was normal. And because of this, he forced himself to be as human like as he could, for the sole exception of eyes and nails. I could write a lot more but stuff's getting long so If anyone has questions ask em 😩 so imma just do lil hcs.
Oh last thing he actually didn't know Rui nor Lyva before, well w rui kind of but that's for another story. They got to know themselves by chance during a visit of them in his place, but the thing Is really complicated again, so lmk if i should do a post bout It.
Aight hcs for real now, he has a lil collection of theathre masks, cuz he likes to collect em.
He's pretty good w words, n that's the main reason why he got away with a lot of past situations.
When no one's looking, he likes to curls up on trees w his snake-like form, though he'd find It embarassing to admit It, since he really doesn't use It in front of anyone.
Whilist he thinks that his servitors are inferior to him, he still cares about them in a way.
He really doesn't want to show himself as often as you might guess, so he's mainly either at his shrine or hiding somewhere.
He really likes to see the sky full of stars, as It reminds him of the few times he could get off behind everything n to just be himself.
He still keeps his childood plushies, they're hidden but they're always there if he needs some emotional comfort.
He's really dence sometimes so he'll have his moments too🧍
I luv this mf so I'll do more of him in the future😤😤
Tags undercut:
@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @dopesaladlady (if you want your tag removed tell me)
#rurusocs#ocs#oc#my ocs stuff#shou#my ocs drawing#my ocs art#art#my art#traditional artists#traditional art#oc card#oc intro#artists on tumblr#doodle#doodles#sketch#my art lol#character sheet#bsjkdjdjwkked i dont really like how it turned out so imma do somethin for him tomorrow#if time permits tho#beginner artist#beginner art
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Hi there! I'm really sorry if this is a... strange thing? This is completely a me problem that I just wanna get off my chest. So, I'm super gay for and love and relate a lot to Ford, and like to selfship. Your art and stuff is really cool! I think you're valid and I'm proud of you for being able to share those sorts of things and have people support and validate you. What sucks though is I'm super insecure and oversensitive, and thanks to that, I end up feeling jealous, (1/3) (hope this works!)
I end up feeling jealous, and like I dont deserve to selfship or be w/ Ford, about it. If anything, I should be able to use you and your stuff as a reason to be like "hey I can totally selfship too!" and look at your art and be able to imagine myself like that/get inspiration for my own sort of indulgences, but it feels like I shouldn't be able to, and invalid, whatnot. So... I'm sorry if this is weird, (2/3)
but, what I'm asking is if you think this is okay and valid?... again this is entirely just a me problem that I want to get out, my brain is a mess. Thank you so much for listening, you and the things you make are cool, and I hope you have a nice day :) (3/3)
After several minutes of shaking the ask box, I can finally reply
ANYWAY, I completely understand where you’re coming from, Anon. I definitely don’t have the confidence of other self shippers, and I feel intimidated by others who selfship with Ford or ship him with ocs quite often. I admire their drive and creativity with everything they post, and I can’t help but feel lesser in comparison. Like I’m not good, smart, or special enough for him. And it can really suck. But they’re having fun, that’s all that matters!
It took me several YEARS to work up the courage to post my self ship art. Even now, I get nervous when I post anything super sappy, and I avoid posting it in main tags unless I’m really happy with how it came out. I was intimidated by the other self ships and ocs (along with being nervous in general), so it took a while to get to this point.
I’ve had to wrestle with the idea of not being good enough for a self ship with him because the trend I’ve seen is either someone Ford has gone to college with, a fellow researcher, a hired assistant, or a mythical being in general. And since I didn’t want to go out of the way with making an oc, I didn’t feel like I fit any of the requirements to what HE would want to be with. Which shouldn’t be the case! Anyone can make an oc, or throw themselves in the universe and that should be enough. My roommates do it, and I’m always on board the second they show interest, but for me? Oh, I NEED to be worthy. And it’s my own stupid brain messing with me with all my self hatred. And that’s uh....a hassle at times.
So you’re completely valid for feeling that way. I’m right there with you. I just let the feelings stew quietly with me, and I try to churn it into some motivation to make stuff for myself. As long as those feelings of jealousy and insecurity aren’t being used to attack others for their self ships/oc ships, you’re fine. It’s not, and should never be seen as a competition on who is more ‘worthy’ for the ship. We’re all just trying to have fun, seek comfort, and love these characters.
So...same hat, Anon! Go self ship to your heart’s content, I hope you can have fun with it :3 Live your dreams of courting a badass, dimension hopping nerd. Everyone deserves to have some self indulgence with fictional characters.
#Anonymous#and this goes to anyone that follows me if anyone needs to just blacklist 'orion' if you don't want to see my self ship art#also sorry this is rambly#but i'm totally with you anon i get you
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pls talk about your thoughts about chanhee and also the other concepts!! I always have such a hard time interpreting music and videos but i love to read about it
“bestie pls share ur thoughts on make your own concepts specifically chanhee’s but any others that are ur fave too 🎤- mar”
omg mar thank you for enabling me all day today 😭🥺🧡 thenks bestie ily :,)) and thank you too anon ! i should preface that T-T i have not read any other theories or analyses so these are just my opinions / impressions but i hope it’s entertaining to read about haha :p ! (feel free @ anyone to add on or share your thoughts too ! :,))
HYUNJAE - okay so audio cues... if you listen to the beginning there’s a sound of a bomb going off before the music starts ? and that ties into the dystopian / cyborg aesthetics that jump out at me of course, but what i immediately thought of was their no air perfo ? like we know hyunjae in the no air mv got that shot where he’s laying in the bathtub filled with water but also their kingdom performance with it also had those underwater shots ! so i think it ties into that... i feel like we saw in gen z, he’s a very straightforward person he says things on his mind which can come off as blunt but he thinks it’s better than not saying it ? which is interesting bc i think that speaks to his self- determined personality, he’s much more inclined to do whatever it takes to get something done, which i think falls perfectly in line with the “make your own air” phrase that he gets, if it’s something he needs he makes it himself, in a situational sense methinks u.u
JUYEON - JUYEON’S DJSKHDG i’m waiting for dri’s essay but in essence we see the gen z “juyeon is not such a good boy” shot and these text bubbles that pop up that say “sexy” “you so hot” “such a bad boy” and tbh i like this ‘concept’ ? for him better than his gen z one ? it’s not bc of the concept itself but i like the idea that he can “make your own character” as in he has the capability and power to be whoever he wants to ! you see him throwing white paint at the gen z canvas and i think ?! that’s symbolic of like a fresh canvas ! of remaking himself to whatever he wants bc the canvas is now blank again thanks to the white paint and flowers usually indicate spring ? so renewal and stuff like that ! i really like his, it’s also fun word play on “character” which has been juyeon’s intro in tbz (bc his name sounds like main character in korean) but yea :o ! i really love his the idea he can just repaint / paint over a literal image of him gives it the possibility of becoming smth new and that’s so so cool
CHANGMIN - SCREEEEECH okie um oh boy um *windows shutting down noises* this was so so so very different from his gen z stuff but i actually think BOTH are equally perfect for him ? the way that he set up the sparklers and neon lights on this very obviously trashy and kind of rundown rooftop with the cityline behind him is so ?!?!? LITERALLY making his own stage as his tagline goes, sort of like how the physical stage itself does not matter but rather it’s changmin himself that makes the stage special ! i talked about this in gabi’s set that i rbed ;-;/ but changmin puts a lot A LOT of stake in his position as a dancer it means almost everything to him as a form of expression from what i can see ? so he’s always trying his best to put forward the best performance possible and seeing this segment makes me feel like he’s doing just that ! pouring himself into it to make his stage pls i care him
HAKNYEON - god i’m a jusadan but just u.u rest in peace me, i’ll ... T_T be kind of honest this one confuses me a little ? i have assumptions and i feel like i know ... quite a bit about haknyeon (LMAO) my best guess is it has smth to do with self assurance ...? the way he’s framed and the fact that he’s sitting on a bed in the middle of a church surrounded by candles gives me christ figure symbolism (where my ap english takers at :/) and the light that perfectly frames him in a halo gives me angel vibes too, but the tagline of “make your own romance” paired with him kissing his reflection makes me think it’s about self love ;;;; from what i can tell haknyeon has always been someone who really likes feeling validated and praised for the stuff he does well, which he does for himself a lot of the times too ! but sometimes i think the self assurances he compliments himself with is more for reassuring himself rather than bragging (which i think people misinterpret) so it’s more about becoming the person he wants to fully love and being happie with himself which *tears* i might be reading too much into who knows i just love him ok ... U.U
KEBINNN - i know !!! dri mentioned this in my gifset tags but ! kev on kpop daebak (? was it) or smth mentioned how he strives to keep a childlike wonderment for the world around him, which is a reason why i think he loves drawing and sound / music production, he talked in a fancafe post once about an artist who turned mediocre everyday objects into art and he said he really loves that sense of wonderment so peter pan who “never grows up” is actually perfect for his worldview ahhhh T^T also kev really likes disney lmao, the way he’s doing this outside in this “neverland” garden on a balcony which is a part of this very typical apartment backed by a typical city bg also i believe ties into this turning a mediocre everyday thing into smth wonderful through his sense of childlike wonderment and his tagline of “make your own fantasy” (i also care him a lot this concept >>>>>>) and keeps to his referencing movie plotlines like he did in gen z jddkfj
SUNWOO - i also mentioned this in my tags on sunu’s set but this gives me 100 degrees vibes which i still to this day think is one of the most “sunwoo” vibe things ever, it’s a lot of him having fun and doing his own thing, and mixes both more mature and youthful aspects together in a way that i’d only ever describe as sunwoo vibes LMAO like the roller skating around and all the soap bubbles ! cute and youthful ! the crop top and celine wasitband (don’t laugh at me we all noticed) more mature and a callback to his gen z look methinks U.u, think sunwoo has always been a more go-with-the-flow or do whatever he feels like doing sort of person and so “make your own vibe” fits well with him in that sense to me
SANGYEON - .... *silence* *more windows shutting down noises* *jess.exe has stopped working* OKAY i feel like ! sangyeon’s is also more self explanatory :p i love the juxtaposition of boxing AND the arcade type fighter games ?? like both require very different sets of skills i feel like one is more physical the other is more mental ? but both require adapting to changes whether in the game or the boxing ring which as leader sangyeon would know a lot about, esp being flexible and quick to respond to different situations, and the “make your own glory” i feel is maybe more on the nose, but tbz are this man’s pride and joy you can see it literally anywhere and for him, as leader, to have made it this far with tbz, winning rtk and building their popularity through their hard work and efforts really is building his own glory and i just HHHHHHHHHH
YES EYYSFDHSHF CHANHEE YES - i said it in the tags of my srb before deleting it so i’ll just repeat it here but CHOI CHANHEE !!!!! this detail i didn’t quite process first watch was the continuous flashing of lights in all his scenes, like ... from the shots and the set it looks REALLY empty ?? but the flashing seems to indicate cameras and photos being taken of him despite there being no people we can really see in any of the shots ? WHICH IS SO COOL i think the implication is like “all eyes on him” type which SO TRU i love that idea, like i said the walking past the wedding dresses ? v heavily implies fashion designer which i think you mentioned mar :o ! and i see it in the sense of his tagline “make your own stereotype” bc white wedding dresses are the very traditional / typical choice and obviously feminine in stereotypes, whereas chanhee is wearing a SUIT which is all black in a very clean b/w set with no color which i feel is very stereotypically MASCULINE and the glasses too, it’s such an interesting contrast of his “stereotypically feminine” features (in my view) with very masculine symbols, like glasses we usually associate with more soft hearted / meek stereotypes ? but the geometric shape of the windows and again his suit seems to indicate the very opposite ? it’s a mixing of stereotypes which i think is the point, by putting those together he quite literally makes his own stereotype and puts on the crown while the cameras continue flashing while pointed at him AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YOUNGHOON - okie might have less to say about this one :o i feel like both hak’s and younghoon’s i don’t see the connections quite as readily but ! i think it’s interesting that his tagline is “make your own classic” but then in the scenes itself he has a flip phone ??? with an antenna (okay boomer /j JDHFKFG JK PLS) and a teddy bear while in PERIOD stylized clothing and setting where those two things are more modern / contemporary in origin (but also not modern enough bc ,,, it’s a flip phone LOL) like 90s kid vibes ? you know but as an emperor in the joseon era haha :p while eating shrimp chips and reading a (comic ?) book, like idk too much of what it means but it’s a cool dichotomy LOL, think it might also tie into actor ! hoon bc it’s make your own classic and i think acting has become a very important aspect to him :o after seeing what he’s capable of in love revolution and his atbz video so it’s interesting u.u (need help w/ this one)
JACOB - think my explanation in han’s set’s tags didn’t really make sense so lemme ... reexplain LOL,,, so ! similar to his gen z video ? like he’s talked about how difficult it is to open up about his own feelings etc. and he said it’s less bc he realizes he needs to but rather just to make other people feel more comfortable when it comes to understanding him, and like the whole breaking the mirror with his reflection in the wanna be angry jacob, it’s about freeing himself to the point he can express the emotions he wants to ! in gen z it was about being able to be angry when he felt that way instead of being tied by his image of being just nice ? and in the video with his pilot uniform not only does he control the ride but he also rides on it himself ! quite literally making his own freedom (symbolically), a sort of realizing he can free himself ? from what’s been tying him down and i think the really big smile he has while riding it just comes to show how he wants to feel :,))) (jacob bae i care you)
ERIC - last one :p AHHH this is one of my favs too, the quite literal “make your own pride” I LOVE IT ! sooo i think the biggest takeaway i got was that of course in this video his “pride” is symbolized by the hot pink car (that he’s going to pick up his christmassy date in of course u.u if he has a license which he does n- his driver’s license in this was literally his aaa / boy version of reveal photo which in no dmv anywhere would a license picture be allowed to look that good-) and LITERALLY when he finished and takes it for a joy ride while sitting on the roof he’s STILL covered in the dirt and grime stains ! from working on it ! which i think is so symbolic ! it’s my favorite detail actually, he literally put sweat into this car which is his pride and now that he’s finally riding around in it, it feels accomplishing ! his pride ! love that, also when he’s grabbing a stub from that flyer i noticed he chose “youth” over the others (which was like .... ca$h, beauty, ice cream, hamburger...) which i think also just indicates that despite all this hard work he put in he still cherishes his youth and still lets that be a huge part of who he is (i mean pink car so of course) so idk i think it’s very neat go bestie mwah
#sunnew#anon#asks#not tbz#jess.replies#be your own king analysis#I WROTE SO MUCH PLS#even more than my gen z analysis i think#anyway if anyone reads all of this oof thank you#HHHEEELP#i just did all of them ....#my weakest ones are def hak sunwoo yh#idk but i like what i came up with for the others ! ^^#i've seen a few twt threads but haven't read any lol#wrote the most about chanhee but no one is surprised of course
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hey there astra! I just discovered your blog and it’s an absolute godsend!!!! if you don’t mind me asking and you don’t have to answer this if you don’t feel comfortable, but i was wondering how do you deal with the loneliness of your f/o not actually being around? tbh I’m sorta struggling with it and any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
hi nonnie friend!! 💕 thank u so so much omfg, we’re all hella glad to have u in te crew!! ,, gang? squad?? idk I just work here-
BUT FR THANK U UR SO SWEET!!! 🥺🥺🥺 iM totally comfy answering that!! I get this feeling ALL the time, so I get where ur coming from. It can be really really hard to feel connected to ur f/os sometimes, and feeling that loneliness was already a problem for self shippers and then. we hit quarantine. and now it’s like well FUCK
I have a lot of things I try to do to help me feel connected w my f/os! Enjoying their source media is the most obvious one. But other than that, I like to try to keep little pieces of them in my life. There’s certain music that either reminds me of my f/os or my f/os themselves enjoy listening to. I keep playlists of those songs and listen to them when I’m feeling down. I’ve also got little trinkets n stuff! Like, I’ve got a flannel, a little plushie, and a pocket watch that remind me of my ult main. They’re rlly helpful to keep around and help make it feel like he’s around!!
Another thing I’ve got is certain scents that remind me of them!! there’s this one candle from bath and body works that reminds me of my main, and I grab one whenever I can. Also I have a fragrance spray for some of my f/os!! It’s nice! Especially if it’s what u imagine their cologne/perfume/etc would smell like.
A big one for me is doing things they enjoy. My f/o might like reading, listening to true crime podcasts, learning abt certain subjects, all that. So that’s what I do! As long as I enjoy those things too, ofc. Tho it is rlly nice to look into things they like that I’ve never tried before. I can’t tell u how often I see books I would never pick up that my f/os would enjoy, and I end up really liking them. It’s like learning about them a little more by incorporating them into ur life in ways that are constructive and help u learn new things and try smthn new!
when all else fails, if it’s ur thing/is available, fanfic helps me sometimes!! Whether it’s reading others’ work or writing my own. And sometimes, rereading my own work, because no one knows abt my relationship w my f/o better than me, you know? There’s also certain tags on here that might help! A lot of us in the community like to write positivity posts, and I know I tag all of mine with “self ship positivity” and I think others do too. Those are a big help to me when I’m feelin down!
If anybody has some more ideas pls let me (and this wonderful anon) know!! 💕
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An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness
I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?
So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)
ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.
And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)
And it destroyed me.
For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)
I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.
Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))
(i’m serious, this is fucking long)
__________
Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff
This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive
What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff
He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt
Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time
I would send an eyebrow emote if I could
Context: he's asking he says it again
Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever
I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay
This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd
He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss
Well adoptive mom
But still sudhdidu what
Bitch how dare YOU exist
Save my babyyyy
Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee
This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here
This is a super long flashback btw
Idek anymore what triggered it
Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep
It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.
yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like
how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot
hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???
also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY
they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS
the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but
idshkjds
like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT
he's very cute tho
i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it
[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]
I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh
these tonal whiplashes
there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd
nvm it just turned horny
goddamn it
can there be 1 chapter without fucking?
okay, there were the flashbacks
WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS
but im not getting the gay relationship, sad
OH WAIT
AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too
OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly
I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY
I'M :((((
different species confirmed
I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her]
im weird
HHHHH RIPPP
someone help him he looks so saddddd
not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT
AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft
PFFF
I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((
awww
i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together
OH
OH THEY'RE KISSING
best buildup, honestly
the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute
D-did someone just respect the word "stop"???
I am
amazed
i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow
Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this
getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this
hELP
chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared.
Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao
[Noah was jealous]
w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs
oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever
DOHYE
NO
YOU WERE SO DECENT
WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF
HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP
I JUST-
WHEEE TvT
the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha
okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION
They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED
understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so
tho he dont know any of that but yknow
he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot
hooo
they are boyfriends
and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll
she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that
or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too
[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]
which if, btich you gonna die even more
enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy
on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS
SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY
OH MY GODDDD
he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE
HELLLOOOOOOOOO
look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS
how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again
aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn
[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]
WAIT NO
they're actually going to the same school awww
ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but
for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd
cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly
dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs
oh. its. turning horny
i am
displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship
however
COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM
how do ppl do this
i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?"
sakjds
this is the best 3 panels in existence.
h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you
[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]
awww its cute
dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything
what is this
where can i get more of this
"well im not okay"
MY BABIESSSS
they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd
[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O
N OOOO
this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE
:((( babyyyy
I AM EMO
Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain
and the sister is asking doyhe over
I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS
OH
HE DECLINED
OKAY OKAY
he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened???
oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child
i am so emo
about this
[reminder he’s been abused TvT]
[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]
i will. murder someone
he called to ask her to delete his number btw
what is this manwha
but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((
he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD
I AM SO SAD
No
NO
It cant end
im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy
[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]
what else is she gonna do
she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart
THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh
I’M
I’M SO SAD
now he's switching SCHOOLS
NO
NOOOOO
how will i ever find happiness againnnn
NO
they're misunderstanding further
they're not talking properly
i mean i get it but oh my god
I'M :(((
NO
NOOOO
pls make up in the future at least omg
he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh
i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just
i want them to clear it up
im crying
first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha
maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess
but goddamnn ittttt
they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad
it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate
but MY HEART
NO
N O
DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE
Im. gonna cry more
Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im
im so sad
no
i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH
will i ever find sth like this flashback again
[mei: p-probably not, no]
i am
so devasted
i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha
BUT THIS WAS SO SAD???
im so emo
[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]
OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO
SAVE HIM.
JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING
its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household
so. good job. from a meta perspective
but also
NO
but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((
[main couple kissing]
this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it
but dohyeeeee
and switching to sex, YET AGAIN
now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE
it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters
why are you like this
why can't you be. like in the flashback
i am
so upset
HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE
I am just
stop fucking
jesus christ
PLEASE
I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE
im just
stop the horny
pls
just
tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much
[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]
dhsuksj thanks i feel honored
at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit
[mei: THAT TOO]
[...]
tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character
i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else
... not literally pls theres already too much of that
pls
get it together
for like 1 chapter
is the investigation even still happening i am so confused
save dohye
plEASE
wait what i have less than 10 episodes left
Dont tell me
this shit isnt even wrapped up yet
[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]
yeah i
this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but...
oh well...
i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him.
Sister can still go fuck off tho
[...]
i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots
[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]
okay
i dont care
bc dohye is currently getting assaulted
nobody asked for this
why
i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him
at least its not horny visually, one saving grace
ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly
thank you for nothing
[... removed some general confusion about the plot]
YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.
i am. suffering
i mean i cant stop but GOD
okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people
Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF???
this is ridiculous??
one good message
why
did you feel
the need
to
add
that
[actual tired rage]
im gonna die
this manwha is gonna kill me
im laughing but im suffering
oh hes
arrested
great
and thats the end
and the last update was in january of this year
why
AS IN
NOAH IS ARRESTED
nobody who actually did anything is arrested
What is this
why is this
AHHH
I
at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING
[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK
I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]
its an experience allright
WELL
_______________
yup that’s it.
in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.
That’s it.
Have a nice day.
#an innocent sin#dohye x noah#noah x dohye#long post#tori talks#tori has opinions#reactions#yes I do this often in our dms#poor mei#toriqueue
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Revisions ( My Twst Persona Au )
(Edited Version for spelling mistakes)
Prologue - Part One
Wake Up Call
It’s finally here! Part one of the story! Still super nervous but y’all seemed to like the Scarabia sneak peek. It’s gonna be a bit before we get there. I also have to note, it’s going to be awhile before we get to the juicy persona stuff because this story follows the game’s plot. I apologize for any errors, but no beta we die like men here. If anyone wants to beta read for me I’d be really greatful~
I hope you enjoy!
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The first thing Yuu’s mind registered when they drifted into consciousness was the rattling of a door. The second thing was how uncomfortable their body felt, like they were crammed into a small space. They were laying on their back on top of a wooden surface. They tried to shift their body to provide comfort, but they were stopped by the walls of the box. What the hell was going on? Are they dead? Kidnapped? Buried alive? Their cynical thoughts were interrupted by a scuffing sound from the world outside their dark boxy prison.
“Gotta hurry. People are coming. Gotta get a uniform…!” The lid rattled again, but with more force this time. Yuu found themselves frozen as they tried to comprehend what exactly was going on.
“Grr! Why is it so heavy? Open! Open!” The voice outside panted. Yuu was tempted to call out for help or try to push against the lid themself. “Time for my secret move! Fu~naaaa~!”
The box became an oven in an instant. Were they being cremated?! “GYAAAAAAAAAAH! HOT HOT HOT!” They screamed as they pressed their back onto the wooden one of the box. They squeezed their eyes shut and tried to move away from the heat. It was useless, but what else could they do? The heat left as quickly as it came. They heard the sound of the lid popping off and slowly opened up one eye.
They were met with the blue eyes and smug grin of… a raccoon? A cat? Whatever it was, it had grey fur and a white fluffy belly. A tattered black and white striped bow had been tied around its neck. Yuu could have confused it with a normal animal, except for the blue fire that lined its ears and the forked devil tail.
“Hehe~ your uniform is mine~.” The creature spoke. The voice fit the little monster. It hopped into the box and on top of Yuu and began to fiddle with the purple and black robes they wore. They didn’t have a chance to question their sudden wardrobe change, because their reflexes kicked in at the moment. They hoisted their body up which caused the monster to be knocked off of them.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Geh-?! WHY ARE YOU UP?!”
Yuu blinked. “A talking raccoon in a room full of floating coffins… is this hell?”
The offended look on the monster's face made their heart drop. “I am not a raccoon! I am the great grim!” He huffed. “Whatever. Oí human! Give me those robes!”
Did… Did that fucking raccoon just order them to strip?!
“Otherwise…” flames erupted around the two and Yuu found themselves moving away from the sudden heat again. “I’ll roast ya!”
While Yuu didn’t doubt that he would, but they had dignity! Anger flooded their body. This pint-sized little-. “Over my rotting corpse!” They yelled and yanked themselves out of the coffin. They booked it to the first entrance they saw.
“Oí! Get back here!” The raccoon’s voice faded away as they ran as fast as their legs would take them.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
After a mad dash through various rooms and hallways before Yuu found themselves in a library. ‘A perfect place to hide!’ A bit cliché but they were in no situation to judge. With their back pressed to a bookshelf, the reality of what was going on set in. “If I am dreaming, somebody please wake me up.” Unfortunately for them, blue fire ripped them from their thoughts a second time that night.
“Hehe, stupid human! You can’t escape from the great Grim’s awesome nose!”
‘Ah. He found me.’
“I’ll say it again, hand over the robes or get burned to a- GYAA!” A whip wrapped around the monster and restrained him. “Ow! Where did this cord come from?” A figure behind him glared down at the him.
“This is no mere cord! It is a whip of love!” The mysterious man who had just saved their life was oddly dressed. He looked like a train driver. A coat with a blue collar and feathered shoulders rested on his back and a matching top hat with the same blue ribbon and feathers sat on his head. Under the coat his clothing was relatively normal. A black vest, tie, and pants with a white dress shirt. The truly odd thing about his appearance was the bird mask that rested on his face. His eyes didn’t show very much aside from the glowing yellow pupils.
“Ah, I finally found you. Are you perhaps the missing student?” He turned to Yuu. “You really shouldn’t go off like that! Leaving the gate on your own!” He glared at the raccoon again. “And your familiar isn’t even tamed! Another violation of the school rules!”
Both the monster and Yuu objected to that statement. No way was this hairball their familiar! After all the hell he’s put them through…
“Oí let me go! I’m not their familiar!”
“Right… he’s not-“
Birdman shook his head before cutting Yuu off. “Sure sure. The most rebellious ones always say that. Just zip it.” Then he gagged the monster. “How troublesome are you? A new student like yourself leaving the gate all on your own…”
“Never mind that, we’re late to the opening ceremony. Please follow me to the hall of mirrors.” Birdman began walking towards the exit dragging Yuu and the monster with him.
“Wait a moment… new student? And what’s a gate?” Yuu still had no idea about what was happening before them. They were already enrolled in a school from the few hazy memories that remained, and where the hell were they?!
Birdman acknowledged them this time, “ The room you awoke in, the one with all the doors. Those who wish to be students here must pass through one of the doors to arrive here. Normally, students wake up only after the door is unlocked with a special key but…” he trailed off.
“Oh… so those coffins. They were actually doors.”
“The culprit here seems to be this familiar!” He tugged at Grim. “The rules state that if you are going to bring one, then you must take care and responsibility for it.” He paused for a moment. “Now isn’t the time to be scolding you. The ceremony will be done soon, so let’s hurry.” He nudged Yuu towards the door but they still had questions that needed to be answered. “Hold on! Where am I? And who are you?”
“Hm? It appears the transportation magic has left you disoriented. It happens often! I’ll explain as we make our way, for I am so gracious.”
‘Gracious? Does everyone around here have an ego?’
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Once they entered what Yuu could call a courtyard, Bird man began to fill them in.
“You are currently In Night Raven College's Main building. This is a school for magicians blessed with a unique aptitude for magic from all over the world. It’s one of the most prestigious magical academies in Twisted wonderland. And I am the Headmaster, appointed to watch over this academy, Dire Crowley.” It was nice to finally stop calling him birdman all the time. But one thing was off.
“Magician? I think you have the wrong guy…”
Crowley ignored the last part of Yuu’s sentence in favor of continuing his explanation. “Only those magicians dubbed worthy by the dark mirror can attend this school. Potential students use the gates and are summoned from all over the world.”
This dark mirror had clearly screwed up… unless Yuu was like a book protagonist and had a secret magic power?! Excitement and ideas of what might be raced through them.
‘I take back my wish! I don’t want to wake up yet!’
“An Ebony carriage that carries the gate should have gone to meet you.” Alas poor Yuu could not remember such A thing. Hopefully their memories would come back to them soon. “The Carriage goes to welcome new students chosen by the dark mirror. A long time ago the market decided that carriages are used for special occasions to welcome people.”
“And where is this market?”
Crowley ignored him once again. ‘For someone so gracious he’s quite rude…’ “Come. We’re almost at the entrance ceremony.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The room that Crowley brought them to was packed full of students dressed in similar robes as Yuu, Black robes with purple and gold accents. It seemed as if the ceremony was already over. Students stood in large groups talking with each other, as other students began preparations to leave. It was nerve wracking to say the least. All of them could use magic? It was a bit of a scary thought. They all had a huge advantage over poor little Yuu! Most even towered over them.
“I am here~” Crowley called out into the room. All eyes turned to the trio. Yuu sunk into the hood of their robe. “Ah there he is.” A student said. “We were missing a student! I went out to go find them, for I am so kind~” he stopped addressing the mass of students and turned to Yuu. “As the only person left who has yet to be assigned a dorm, I shall keep the raccoon company. Go, step in front of the dark mirror.” Yuu did as they were told.
The walk to the mirror felt like a lifetime. Every pair of eyes in the room was trained on them. ‘No pressure.’ The so-called dark mirror floated in the middle of the room. It was larger than Yuu, and it had a beautiful golden trim. Green fire and a white mask with gold accents was reflected back at them. It was so cool, and Yuu had a feeling that they had seen this same mirror before.
“State thy name.”
“Yuu.”
“Yuu… The shape of Thy soul is…”
‘Here it comes…!’
“I do not know.”
‘...What?’
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Well here we are! God am I tired. Once I post this I’ll head to bed ;w;
... probably.
Tags: @lionheartanotheraccount @kimmy-banana
(If anyone wants to be tagged just ask me and I’ll happily do so)
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst oc#oop#oof#my wriitng#twst persona au#twst au#Twst grim#twst yuu#twst MC#dire crowley#the dark mirror#Revisions - Story#lets gooo#im very tired#im very nervous#lets gooooo#^^#Mod ankin
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yoonseok fluff and stuff
forever 21 | chapter 1
pairing: yoongi x hoseok
word count: 1.6k
genre: fluffy fluff (rated PG)
warnings: kissing, mentions of sexuality, mild language but not really
Min Yoongi sighed as he leaned over the checkout counter at Forever 21. He really really hated his job. But if it payed the bills, so be it.. He was going to college for music production, and things were going alright. Life wasn't so bad, apart from his job. But he still felt like something was... Missing
He peered over at the clock. 11:02 am. Only 3-ish hours into his shift and he already wanted to die. That's a record. Usually it takes 4 hours or something like that. Soon co-workers and customers made the empty store seem a bit more lively. Lost in thought, Yoongi didn't even hear the footsteps of cheap stilettos clacking up to him. Only when his boss slammed her perfectly manicured hand on the counter, did Yoongi jump up and leave his depressing thoughts behind. He spoke.
"I'm sorry ma'am, I was just -"
" Thinking, like you ALWAYS ARE. " his boss interrupted. " I might as well just fire you now, but I need you, so unfortunately.. That's not an option. "
She steps to the side, revealing a man, with perfect golden tan skin and cherry red hair.
"This is Jung Hoseok." She says.
Yoongi's P.O.V
Jung Hoseok? He's so handsome.
"Stop being weird, Yoongi. He probably doesn't swing that way" I think to myself.
"You'll be showing this young man around, he's a new employee. Show him how to restock the clothes shelves, handle the cash register, and everything else from the handbook." My boss says and Throws the book of rules at me. Ugh, she's so RUDE. She turns around and walks off, leaving Hoseok and I alone.
"Um, hey I'm Hoseo- oh well you already know that haha" he says with a big toothy grin.
"I'm Yoongi." I say with a flat tone , not smiling. I see his smile falter a little. Shoot. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm really not a smiley person, that's just how I am. I want to apologize but that would be weird.
"Come follow me and I'll show you the back room, what to do and stuff ." I say, a little kinder this time.
his smile comes back immediately and he follows behind me to the back room.
I show him everything he needs to know and he's a really fast learner. He's so optimistic and happy and... It's tiring but it's refreshing at the same time. I really like him and I've only been with him for half a day. And here's the thing. I. Dont. Like. People... Usually, but Hoseok was different.
3rd person P.O.V
The whole day was a new, but good experience for the both of them. There was hardly ever silence between the two, and when there was it was a comfortable kind. They mostly just laughed and talked about whatever whilst they folded clothes and restocked the back room. Soon it was 2, and Yoongi 's shift was over. And for once in his entire working career, he didn't want it to end. Oh, how he adored Hoseok. Maybe it was too early to have these feelings, but Yoongi didn't care. His infatuation with the red head was undeniable. He was so funny and he could already see that he was caring by the way he treated the customers and other co-workers, and he was smart. And on top of that, he was really good looking. The list could go on and on. Yoongi packed up his stuff and let the dread fill him again as he said goodbye to Hoseok and left the building. Then, he got an idea. He ran back into the store where Hoseok was packing up too, since their shifts ended at the same time.
"Hoseok!" Yoongi shouted
" Yoongi! " Hoseok replied with a laugh.
"Do you... W-want to maybe get like a drink or a late lunch or something? with me, I mean" Yoongi stuttered.
Hoseok blinked in surprise. "Yeah, for sure! Let me go home and change first. Here's my number, I'll send you my address." He says and he types his number into Yoongi's phone.
"Okay I'll see you soon Hoseok!" Yoongi says, feeling much happier than the first time he left the store.
Hoseok's P.O.V
"OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN IT'S JUST SOME LUNCH. NOT A DATE" I scream internally as I throw my new name tag on my nightstand. I walk across my colourful room and peer into the closet. "Hmmmm, I like this sweater.. And it's rainbow, so maybe he'll get the hint" I think slyly to myself. I match that with a pair of ripped jeans and some vans. Soon enough, I was ready. I texted Yoongi My address and he said he was on his way. My mood went from good to great! I'm usually in a good mood and life is pretty okay right now, I just like to look on the bright side of things. Although things are going good, I will admit... I'm freaking LONELY. Of course of course, I have friends. But no matter what people say, friends aren't the same as a special someone. It's two completely different types of love, if you get what I mean? Yoongi is such a cutie, but we only just met today... He prolly doesn't like guys like I do. He seems a bit cold too, but I'm determined to find his soft side. It's my favorite side of people.
The doorbell rings and I run to the door. But, nobody's there. I look a bit further out, and by the curb in front of the apartment complex, I see a dark blue car. The windows open and Yoongi is waving at me, with the cute little gummy smile that I've grown to love in under one day. I walk up and get in the car.
"how'd you ring the doorbell if you didn't get out of the car?" I ask.
"oh I did." He replies nonchalantly. "I just don't like standing, so I came back here and sat down, it's too much work to stand"
l laugh at him. He turns out of the parking lot and heads to the cafe. The car ride was filled with easygoing conversation. I got to know even more about Yoongi and he got to know more about me. We get to the coffee shop and order what we want. We keep talking. It's funny, Neither of us has shut up since the time I got into the car. Yoongi's so easy to talk to, and that's nice, cause I thought he'd be the exact opposite. Our food comes, and a comfortable silence falls over us, as we stuff out mouths with food. Soon, lunch is over, and I'm sad. Jeeeeeeeeez, I can't get enough of this guy!! Then I get an idea. I still think it's a bit too early to just ask what Yoongi's sexuality is. But this idea might help me get the information I need, without being awkward. I might as well give it a shot. We get into the car and I ask.
"Yoongi, are you doing anything else today?"
"uhhh, nope. I don't think so." He replies
" want to come over? I got this new game on my phone and I haven't found anyone to play with yet" I say, crossing my fingers, hoping he might agree.
"Yeah sure!" He says , but then clears his throat and composes himself, "I mean, yeah.. I'm down"
I roll my eyes and we head back to my apartment.
Yoongi 's P.O.V
HE JUST INVITED ME TO HIS HOUSE!!!! I'm freaking out. But I gotta keep my swag. Alright deep breaths. We pull up to his apartment and he unlocks the door. The apartment is small but not too small, and it's clean, but not too clean and still decorated nicely. The main thing I noticed, is that it was empty.
"You live here alone?" I ask flopping down onto his maroon couch.
"Yeah, it's nice cause the rents not too bad, but I'm lonely" he said with a sad smile.
"If you're ever lonely, you've got me now." I say sitting up and looking at him seriously .
"Thanks Yoongi. It means a lot. Ok lets play that game now" he says as he sits down next to me.
Hoseok pulls out his phone and clicks on an app.
"Its called.. Truth or dare" he says.
"Hoseok, I know what truth or dare is" I say.
"Reallly!?" He asks
" Uhm, yes... It's one of the most popular games out there.. Are you telling me that you haven't heard of truth or dare? " I reply
"You know what... Let's just play" he says, blushing and looking down at his phone. "Yoongi, truth or dare!!"
"Dare. "
He smiles brightly and clicks the dare button on the screen. His smile falters for a second and he looks confused.
"Uh.... Eat a spoonful of wasabi." He mumbles
" No. " I say.
"Well that's fine, cause I don't have wasabi anyway" he says, "I'll pick a different one"
he clicks again and giggles as he reads it. Man, even his laugh was cute. What the hell, Hoseok.
"Lick the toilet seat" he says and laughs louder again.
"See, I'd do that. But it's too far away." I say, genuinely not wanting to get up.
"Ugh, fine. One more, but this one, you have to do." He says rolling his eyes.
"Third times the charm!" I tell him
He clicks, once again, and reads the dare on the screen. His cheeks turn a bit pink and he looks up.
"H-hold hands with the person next to you for 3 turns."
~
Hi guysss this is my first post ever on tumblr, I wrote this fanfiction a while ago on wattpad (its still up there too if you want to check it out) anyways there's one more chapter of this story. enjoy!! <3
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Importance - Five
Bucky Barnes X WOC!Teacher!Reader AU
Pairing: Bucky X WOC!Teacher!Reader
Summary: A student’s father catches your eye and his daughter steals your heart. However falling for him might be the most dangerous decision of your life, for his job leaves virtually no room for anyone who could possibly be a liability.
Chapter Summary: An incident with Violet and three men lead you to James’ mysterious place of work, where you’ll figure out just what you’re getting yourself into.
Chapter Warnings: Angst, Fluff, lil bit of creepy stuff, language,
Word Count: 2K
A/N: I will be without my laptop for a week so I’m trying to get stuff up and posted. Oops.idk bro
SOME TAGS AREN’T WORKING!!
MASTERLIST
SERIES MASTERLIST
~*~
“The Christmas concert is next week! Oh, I’m so excited! I can hardly wait!” Violet exclaims as you comb her hair.
“Yeah, I’m excited too.” Are you mainly just excited to have dinner with her and her father after? Maybe.
Since that day, you and he have shared more than a few steamy make-out sessions, one ending with his hand up your shirt and your hand down his pants.
Is it wrong? Probably.
Will you stop? Probably not.
“Are you ready to go to the bakery?” You ask, smiling as she nods excitedly.
You help her into her shoes, then walk out the door with her, making sure to lock it behind you.
Your walk is nice. Kind of quiet for a little while but Violet easily fixes that.
When you’re about a block away from the bakery, you get the strange sense of being followed.
“Violet, we’re gonna take a little detour, okay?” You ask, squeezing her hand reassuringly. You take a few left turns, glancing over your shoulder a tad more than necessary, but you’re glad you do.
Three men are following you and Violet, each wearing leather jackets with a strange symbol on the left arm.
You dig your hand through your purse until you find your phone and carefully punch in the emergency number Bucky gave you.
“This is Agent Barnes speaking.” You furrow your brows but decide to save the questions for later.
“It’s (Y/n). Three men are following Violet and I. We were on our way to the bakery and I don’t know how long they’ve been following us for. I don’t want to walk back to my house and walking to your house will take too long. I-I don’t know what to do.” You make sure to keep your voice low, not wanting to scare Violet.
“Alright, stay calm and don’t run. Walk, don’t run. If you can, make your way back to the bakery and stay there. If you can’t then find a populated area with plenty of exits. Keep note of your surroundings and if you see any of their faces memorize what you can. I’m sending an agent to pick the two of you up. He’ll pick the two of you up and bring you out of the city then back in the where I am. His name is Sam Wilson. Have him show you three forms of ID. He’s a medium height man with dark skin and buzzed hair. He’s got brown eyes and a gap between his front teeth. If anyone else claims to be him, call the police then call me.” You take a few deep breaths then nod, mostly to yourself.
“Alright. When should I expect Sam?” You can hear him talking to someone as you bring Violet towards the bakery.
“Five minutes tops. Buy violet a few treats, I’ll pay you back for them, and get yourself some stuff too. The food here isn’t the best and I’m not sure how long it’ll be ‘till you two get home.” You take a few deep breaths as the bakery comes into view. “Okay, we’re almost there. I’ll call you if anything happens.”
“Alright. See you soon.” You hang up the phone and push the door open, ushering Violet in before you. When the door closes you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding then walk up to the counter with Violet in tow.
“Hi, how may I help you?” The cheerful woman asks, smiling at the two of you.
“Could we please get three of your double fudge brownies, two croissants, a bottle of apple juice, one of those ham sandwiches, and a large caramel macchiato with an extra shot of espresso?” She rings it all up and nods. “Sounds perfect. That’ll be nineteen dollars flat.” You hand her three tens, insisting that she keep the change.
She starts packaging your order and hands it all over with a smile.
You and Violet thank the woman then sit down at one of the cute little tables by the windows.
“We’re not gonna be walking home, Okay Violet? We’re gonna go visit your daddy, instead.” She smiles excitedly while sipping her apple juice.
A dark-skinned man pushes the door open and looks to you and Violet, smiling a gap-toothed smile at you.
“I’m Sam Wilson.” You nod then remember what Bucky told you.
“Can I see three forms of ID please?” He nods and shows you his drivers licence, and two different federal ID’s with badges on them.
“Alright. Come on, Violet. It’s time to go.” She takes your hand and walks with you and Sam to the sleek black car waiting outside.
You strap her in the back, biting your bottom lip nervously as you notice the lack of a car seat.
“Please be careful. Sh-she doesn’t have her car seat,” you whisper while sliding into the front seat beside Sam. He nods, buckling up. his seatbelt while you do the same.
He pulls goes to drive when you grab his arm.
“Those three right there, those are the guys,” you whisper while motioning with your chin to the men coming around the corner, their heads turned to the windows of the bakery, no doubt looking for you and Violet.
“Got them on the dash cam. Let’s get out of here now,” He murmurs, eyes hardening as he drives away.
The ride is long and quiet, you internally freaking out while sipping your coffee while Violet drinks her apple juice in the back.
“It’s okay. They’re not following and we’re almost there.” You look over at Sam, smiling a pained smile at him then turning back to the front and taking a few deep breaths.
When he parks in front of a large modern building and gets out of the car you climb out as well, helping Violet out and following Sam into the building.
He scans his ID at the door and types in a long passkey, winking at you as the door opens.
You follow him inside and into the elevator.
“Barnes’ office is on the tenth floor. Well, the whole floor is basically his,” Sam informs, watching you closely as you fidget.
The doors open and you walk out with Violet, relief flooding you as you see Bucky.
“Hey, are you guys okay?” He asks, hurrying over to the two of you. Violet hugs him tightly and smiles. “Hi, daddy! I missed you.” He smiles and picks her up, walking over to you and taking your hand.
“Are you alright, (Y/n)?” You nod, although your shaking hands tell a different story.
“Hey, Violet, why don’t you go over to the couch and colour. I’ve got some colouring books and crayons under the table. I need to talk to Miss (Y/l/n) for a minute.” He glances over your shoulder and Sam steps forwards. “Could you watch Violet for a few minutes.” He nods and heads over to the five-year-old, smiling as she hands him a colouring book.
Bucky takes your hand and pulls you down a hallway and through a door.
Inside the room, is a large bed and a dresser.
He sits you on the bed and you take a few deep breaths.
“W-why were they following us? What do they want?” He crouches down in front of you and takes your hands in his, holding your gaze.
“I’m not sure who they are or what they wanted, but I’ll check out the dash cam footage and see what we come up with. Until then, I don’t want you going anywhere alone.” Tears well up in your eyes and you sniffle, pulling one of your trembling hands away from him to wipe your cheeks.
“I don’t know why I’m freaking out. I just… I felt so helpless. There was no way for me to protect Violet and if something happened to her…” you trail off and try to take deep breaths, failing epically.
“Hey, hey! You’re okay. Violet’s okay and you’re both safe here. I promise.” He pulls you into a tight embrace and kisses the top of your head.
“You did the right thing. You called me and I told you what to do and everything worked out. Everyone is safe.” You sniffle and nod, looking up at him.
“I… I was scared. I didn’t… but now I’m with you and everything’s okay,” you breathe the words and look up into his eyes, smiling slightly as he cups your cheeks.
“And that’s how it’ll stay when you’re with me.” With that, he leans up and kisses your lips gently.
It’s an innocent and comforting kiss, nothing too frantic or desperate, and it makes you relax.
When he pulls away, you smile.
“Alright. Now you have free reign of this floor. I’ve got a few things to do for work still and then we’ll figure out what’s going on, okay? Feel free to sleep here or on the couch if you get tired, and I’ve got a fridge full of snacks and a few kinds of cereal somewhere in that tiny kitchen.”
He leads you out of the bedroom and to the main open space. “My office is just through that door over there if you need anything. The tv is hooked up to Netflix and I should have a few movies here too if you or Violet want to watch anything.” You nod and smile at Violet as she comes running to the two of you.
“Miss (Y/l/n) can we watch some TV?” She asks desperately, the most adorable smile on her face.
“Of course. Let’s go.”
~*~
“Goodnight honey. If you need anything, Me and Miss (Y/l/n) will be in the bedroom. Okay?” Violet nods and cuddles up under the blankets, a smile on her face as Mickey Mouse plays on the TV.
Bucky closes the bedroom door and sighs, looking at you almost sheepishly.
“I uh... I guess I have some explaining to do, huh?” He asks while scratching the nape of his neck.
“Well, considering the fact that you picked up the phone and called yourself Detective and I had men following me and your daughter, yeah.” He sits on the foot of the bed beside you and nods, avoiding your eyes.
“I uh... I’m Agent James Barnes with the FBI. We’ve been working a case for months, trying to crack down on a large scale crime organization. But we haven’t exactly been successful. We think they’re onto us and that makes it dangerous for anyone involved in our lives. You and Violet included.”
You ponder this for a moment, keeping your eyes on your hands.
“So... they know who I am?” He sighs heavily and nods. “It’s... very very likely that they have an idea of your connection to me. And I understand if you want to leave. I haven’t had many partners because of my job, and I know Violet’s really attached to you but I’m sure I can figure something out.”
You take his hand and smile, “I’m not gonna just leave you because of this. I care about you and I care about Violet. So... I’m ready to take proper precautions to keep Violet and myself safe.” He looks up at you in shock. “Y-you mean that?” You giggle and nod.
“Of course I mean that. You and Violet are the two most important people in my life. I’m not gonna run away with my tail between my legs because somebody is upset.” He grabs your cheeks and kisses you fiercely, obviously relieved by your reaction.
When he pulls away there are tears glistening in his eyes. “Thank you.” You kiss his lips gingerly then climb up the bed, laying down under the covers.
“I can... sleep on the floor if you’d like.” You shake your head and pat the spot next to you, inviting him to join you.
“If you’re sure.” You nod and close your eyes for a moment. “I’m more than sure. Goodnight, James.” He kisses your cheek while climbing under the covers with you. “Goodnight, (Y/n).”
~*~
TAGS:
FOREVER:
@smolbeanbucky @wildefire @inumorph @impalatobakerstreet @nanna022 @mummy-woves-you @m-a-t-91 @wtfholland @bookgirlunicorn @beautifulwisdom2001 @deep-sea-glitter @mrhiddles-81 @iamwarrenspeace @bitchacho25 @escapetheshackles @i-know-i-can @buckyssoul @avnngrs @swoonhui @destiel-artemis @frozenhuntress67 @unlikelygalaxygiver @agentlokidottir @viarogers @dumblani @mypassionsarenysins @mapreza1 @courtmr @paradisiacalsparks
MARVEL:
@look-to-the-stars-and-wish @maladaptive-ninja-returns @april-14-blog @momc95 @shakzer00 @inkedaztec @cal-ifornication @heartislubbingdubbing @my-suga-kookies @imaginewhoever @soryuwifeyxx
BUCKY:
@chuuulip @nerd-without-a-cause @natashasnight @dragonrosegardens @saharzek @fandom-princess-forevermore
IMPORTANCE:
@beansparker @slender--spirit @teenage-fever10 @marbleowl @valynsia @sillydecoy @ficdupshorty @buckysthot @kaaeila @jetaimeamore @juniebpetty
#james bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x teacher!reader#bucky x black reader#bucky x black!reader#bucky x woc!reader#bucky x poc!reader#bucky x reader lemon#bucky imagine#bucky fanfic
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