#and it all boils down to the fact that there's five million rules of how not to hurt someone's feelings
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So I’m just going to let loose with some potentially
unpopular opinions about our deteriorating rpc and
what I- both personally and based on talking with
others- think is our problem, which of course is us.
Story time, when I first started writing roleplay online the people I met used this as a hobby, a break from life, a way to enjoy characters outside of media. Was there discourse? Sure, occasionally. But they didn’t put much stock in this because it was a hobby and they didn’t have to care about these random online presences they met through writing, they just had to enjoy the writing. And they were so much happier than we are now, guys.
The tumblr community seems to operate under the exact opposite of that theory. People use this as a validation for when life isn’t going smoothly. Which alone is a whole other can of worms because tumblr is that kind of toxic that pretends it’s progressive but really it’s just toxic.
The tumblr rpc takes characters/the show plot way too seriously (I say fully aware of my intense love of Bellamy Blake and my subsequent dislike of t100 s5) but there seems to be a trend of letting this affect you on and offline, and affect those around you. You can’t stand seeing this Thing, it makes you sad/upest/angry/ick/ect. But instead of blacklisting or tublrsavior’ing your way away from it, you don’t want to because some of your friends talk about it and it feels “rude” and you end up feeling disgusted on your own dash. It’s not rude to not talk about shit that annoys you. This is a hobby. You shouldn’t feel annoyed doing your hobby.
On that note, no one treats this like a hobby anymore. They treat it like a job, a popularity contest, an all-inclusive-or-you’re-a-giant-bag-of-dicks kind of thing. You can’t just write what you like, or what you’re feeling, because then you’re labeled “elitist”. You can’t just write with your friends for the same reason. You HAVE to write with everyone who wants to write with you or you’re labeled “unfriendly” or “bitchy”. You HAVE to respond to threads in a timely manner or you’re accused of “ignoring” people or “forgetting” them which seem to be equal insults whether or not it’s true. You HAVE to be nice and friendly and peppy all the time or you’re labeled “mean” or again, “bitchy”.
Now, best case scenario if any of the above happens, you get a few bratty people or a few bratty anons and life goes on. Worst case scenario the guilt tripping and the vague posting starts, and once it starts it rarely ends. People put so much importance in being important to online presences on tumblr, and when they feel wronged/upset/ignored/invalidated/ect the ooc posts start up, designed to entice sympathy but really just making people uneasy and uncomfortable because these posts are directed at them as though they’ve done something wrong to make someone feel this way, but it’s almost never about them, it’s about the poster.
You’re not allowed to like certain things. You’re not allowed to dislike certain things. You’re not allowed to say this, or that, because it’s offensive. And I’m not talking ‘you can’t make a racist joke’ I’m talking ‘you can’t dislike this character over a personality because they’re a poc and that makes you racist’. That’s what tumbr is guys. It is the extreme leftist, where everything you say is potentially offensive and you’re surrounded by literally millions of people with the protective cover of internet anonymity who are just waiting to crucify the next person for the next perceived slight.
As though there haven’t been enough rules, there’s the rules about following/writing with people. You can’t unfollow people, at least not without A. having to explain yourself to them or B. inspiring a string of guilty-trip/sympathy posts painting you as the bad guy who made this person feel so shitty about their life and themselves. You can’t just not want to write with a certain character, because that’s reflective of your feelings about the mun apparently. You can’t just not see yourself writing against a style, because that’s reflective of your feelings about the mun apparently. If you DO end up writing because you don’t want to be painted as an asshole, you can’t stop writing, because then it’s indicative that the mun has somehow offended you and angered you. You can’t ask to change shit in a thread because then you’re saying the mun can’t write right. And the breaking of any of these rules end up in vague, guilt-trippy posts that “aren’t about you” but we all know they are, even if we can’t prove it because they were deliberately vague. And a lot of these guilt-trippy posts are tagged with ‘delete later’ ‘idk why i’m saying this’ ‘it doesn’t even matter idk why I’m upset’ ‘i dont’ want to talk about it’ but like, those are clear lies because why make the post in the first place then? You want the attention, you just don’t want to explain why you made a post rather than spoke to someone directly. Which I mean, we all want attention that’s why we write on a public forum. Just own up to it.
Even the supposedly simple concept of friendships isn’t exempt from being poisoned by the tumblr mindset. You can’t just have internet friends anymore. And that’s largely because of what I outlined earlier about this not being treated as a hobby and people putting their self-worth into the internet ( again, extremely unhealthy please for all that is good go outside, make in-person friends, find a different hobby, love yourself bc the internet will not ). The friends you make on here have to be important to you, have to be a priority, have to be loved and cherished and doted on and you have to do this for eeeeveryone. You can’t just be vague ‘we write together’ friends, you have to be best friends. And while yeah, you will definitely bond with some people on here in a way that translates offline, the statistical probability of that happening with every single solitary person you ever meet around here ( especially given that you have to try to give everyone a chance or you’re an asshole ) is astronomical. And for those that you don’t end up bonding with in that way? You guessed it: sad, guilt-trippy posts about how they’re not worth being special to people.
I might be paraphrasing here, but it seems to me a lot of the issues people have on tumblr can be solved by simply caring less. Not to be confused with not caring, don’t misunderstand. Sill try to be nice, try to be a decent person, don’t go out of your way to be an asshole and if you find yourself hitting the anon button for anything other than sending an ask from a sideblog, you’ve done something wrong.
But this is a HOBBY my guys. Let it be a hobby. Let it be something innocuous and easy and mindless and fun. Not everything that someone does is a direct shot at you, your self confidence, or should have this big an impact on your self worth. Because these are just people on the internet, and in the rpc we’re just connected by a love of writing… or procrastinating writing, which lbr is way more common.
#preachover
#i've been feeling all sorts of ways about the rpc lately#and i know personally other people have been as well#and it all boils down to the fact that there's five million rules of how not to hurt someone's feelings#and it's exhausting#rant cw#long post#ooc
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Owl House said fuck capitalism
So this episode was interesting. Lilith pretty much killed her sister. Why the fuck would she do that?
Even more interesting: why is Belos like that? How did Hooty put his head through one of those guards? Who the fuck is the Titan, and why does everyone like him? And how are these all tied together?
This episode was a metaphor for capitalism
...and another delicious step towards radicalizing the youth into dismantling this fucked-up neo-feudal system.
We’ll start with Belos.
Emperor Belos is a weird name, don’t you think? We all thought it was spelled “Bellows,” but it wasn’t. In fact, it’s five letters, starts with Be, ends with os, and describes a megalomaniac emperor that restricts people’s freedom in order to accumulate wealth for himself.
Sound familiar?
Emperor Bezos Belos created capitalism. He saw the beauty of magic and decided to make himself the most powerful.
Belos created a system that destroys the masses and boosts his power.
I’m dipping into fan theory a little, because the fan theory fits. We know that people get branded with coven magic that makes it so they can only specialize in one area. We know that Belos is the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles. We know that the excess magic, magic created by restrictions, has to go somewhere.
It’s the same system that many viewers see all the time. A job takes up all your day and tires you for the night, so you can only do one skill for the rest of your life. Jeff Bezos is the most powerful man in the United States. Excess money, money taken by restrictions, has to go somewhere.
The magic goes to Belos, like how the money goes to Bezos. Belos created capitalism, and he won it.
The guards aren’t real.
Look, we’ve never seen their faces. They’re all the same. Why would you work so hard to get to the top, just to become a nameless, faceless killing machine?
Oh, also Hooty stuck his face through one. There is nothing under the armor.
Why? Well, it’s the same reason you see all those celebrities going around flaunting their wealth and bragging about how hard they worked. Like all those songs about how they grind every day and work harder than everyone else while you’re out clubbing, and that makes them dope. And then you take a closer look at them and see that they had a small loan of a million dollars fueling them, or an entire talent agency behind them, or their dad was a famous country star in the 80′s.
They’re fake. They’re hollow. They’re a ploy created by the capitalist emperor to try to delude you into working harder.
Let me put this into perspective. I guarantee that every single one of you has heard stuff like this: “Hard work makes you successful.” “I put in the work, and that’s why I’m successful.” “If you work hard enough, then you can be as successful as Mark Zuckerberg.”
And unless you’re a robot or really lucky, I’m sure all of you have failed at this. Maybe they told you that hard work would make you good at math, so you spent 22 hours a week working on calculus, only to pass it by 3 percentage points and have it destroy your perfect 4.0 GPA. Maybe they told you that if you talked to people enough, then you would make friends, so you spent a lot of time talking to people, only to end up lonely and friendless. Maybe they told you that if you did well in school, you would get a good job, so you spent all your time working hard to be a good student, and then ended up in a soulless, dead-end job.
The guards are there to delude you. Look, who really gains from you being productive? The answer is the ruling class, the CEOs, the government, the bourgeoisie. It has always been that. All you get from working is a paycheck that lets you survive. They get a paycheck that lets them get rich. Just like Belos gets the magic and productivity of the specialized coven witches.
The guards are there to trick you. The truth is that nobody can join the Emperor’s Coven. It’s just there to make you think that hard work will make you successful. Then you spend your entire life working hard, trying to prove to the person in charge that you’re worthwhile. You give your whole life to the Coven, and they give you nothing.
Magic is supposed to be something you pursue for fun. Being skilled at things, being good at something beautiful...that’s supposed to be something you do because you want to. But they took that and made it into a source of productivity. It doesn’t matter if you make good content. All people fucking care about is if you upload the day of premiere, if you make a lot of content quickly, if you maintain a million different conversations with strangers who expect you to be the most interesting person in the room. They don’t care how it hurts you. They don’t care how you crack from the stress. How you cry when you think no one can see you, and then you check your phone and someone can see you, someone did see you, and you have to put on your face and be the charming, magnetic person they want you to be. (oh by the way that’s why I wasn’t online much last week)
And it ruins it. Suddenly you can’t watch The Owl House without being stressed. You can’t make any content. You can’t make spells as powerfully as you want to. Your passion is replaced by perfectionism and insecurity, a voice telling you to keep being the best at what you do, or else they’ll forget you and let you die.
There’s also the Titan.
So nobody has mentioned him before, because in addition to the Boiling Isles being a hellscape full of witchcraft and queerness, it’s also full of atheists.
But suddenly we have people saying all this shit about him? Shit like, he gave witches the gift of magic, and then they learned to use it in a civilized manner, since being uncivilized was disrespectful?
I mean, first off, that’s fucking wrong. The island gives people magic. The island, which just so happened to be shaped like a titan-sized human. But the island/titan gives everyone all types of magic. Hell, even Luz gets to use magic, and she’s human.
It sounds really fucking familiar. (tw for discussion of homophobia and colonialism and misogyny). It sounds like when the news is on and they show some Tr*mp supporter talking about how fetuses have more rights than people and it is their holy duty to take away a woman’s control over her body and force her through unbearable pain and into an 18-year commitment she didn’t want to make. It sounds like all the times people tried to say homosexuality should be illegal, citing a single line in a book written two thousand years ago and heavily edited by a European king. It sounds like all the times people said God wanted them to conquer, to own the entire earth, to force the other races into pain to support them.
This is that bullshit thing people do where they commit awful sins and justify it by citing the will of God.
Or, it’s the Coven using religion as an excuse for evil.
Look, the Emperor’s Coven is clearly colonizer-coded. Saying that people’s original form of magic was wild (and showing a picture with the same joyous, rowdy energy of an 18th or 19th -century Black or indigenous party), and that it was God’s will for them to be “civilized?” Sounds like that thing that powerful white people did where they went and murdered people and forced them into their twisted capitalist system. God, gold, and glory, is what they said, because history books just love to omit the gore.
Lilith is passing the abuse cycle along.
You know, like a good little colonizer. God I fucking hate her. She’s a MILF, in the sense that she’s a Mother I’d Like to Fling off a cliff.
Ah, enough screaming about how much I want to drown Lilith in a tub of Hooty’s mucus. Let’s go into why I want to do that, and how she took the evils of capitalism and just...adopted those.
So, Lilith is sick and twisted for what she did to her sister. But, uhh, that’s the point. You see, there are so many other people out there like Lilith who would do the exact same thing, if given the chance. These are the people who do mean things when the teacher isn’t looking, and then act nice and try to frame you. These are the people who will hate you if you’re better than them. These are people who would do anything to bring you down, if you dare outperform them.
It’s greed, my friends. The mental illness that capitalism blesses us all with.
Lilith herself said it: she dedicated her entire life to the Coven. What she wanted was to be the best. And she almost was...except for her own sister. Someone who lived with her, annoyed her at home, bested her at school. Someone she could never beat, no matter how hard she worked. And her sister was younger than her, too! How insulting was that? Lilith wanted to be the best, and someone in her exact situation did better than her.
Lilith was insecure. And it consumed her.
But why? Why does insecurity consume her? I mean, no one can be motivated by insecurity forever. Well, not unless someone conditions it into you.
The lovely thing about the capitalist system is the morals it teaches you. Things like: “You’re only useful if you’re the best.” “Being school smart makes you smart, while being social smart or sports smart or creative smart or fandom smart is worthless.” “Your worth can be quantified by numbers and is based off arbitrary measures like your income or your grades.” Things that can and will drive us crazy if we let ourselves believe them.
And it did drive Lilith crazy. She got so twisted by a society that said being good at magic is her only worth. Look, Lilith used to be good at things, probably. She was good at sports. At times, she slips up and does an okay job of being Eda’s sister. She has a powerful presence when she’s in a room. And she’s wicked good at manipulating people.
But that didn’t matter. Lilith bought into the lies. She let herself believe that magical skill was the only way to measure her worth. And since she needed to be the best, she hurt Eda for it.
The beautiful thing is, Eda didn’t buy that. "It’s my power, kid. And before you showed up, I spent my whole life wasting it.” Is what Eda said, as she used up the last of her power, the last of her life, to save Luz. In her final moments, she proved that she’s not like them. She’s stronger than them.
None of this matters. Not magical prowess. Not the hierarchy. Not the promise of joining the Coven and having more power than anyone else.
The only thing that matters to Eda is her family. Her real family. Her Luz, King, and Hooty. And by extension, Willow, Gus, and Amity. Those are Eda’s real reason for fighting, for dying: to protect them. Look, there’s no way she would’ve come out of that fight alive. She has a family, and her love for them is stronger than greed or jealousy or capitalism.
Lilith never understood that. She thought the water of the womb was thicker than the blood of the covenant. Or, that the water of the womb and the blood of the covenant are stronger than the bonds of found family. She thought it didn’t matter if Eda loved, her, only if the Emperor loved her. Fucking bitch.
And now, a little something to worry about, before we go. Amity Blight. The girl who wanted to join the Emperor’s Coven more than anything, who dedicated her whole life to doing well in school, to being the best, to being perfect.
And then she met Luz. She fell for Luz. Now she’s in a tricky place, where habit and conditioning want her to join the Emperor’s Coven, but her heart wants her to do the impossible and destroy capitalism.
She wasn’t in this episode. Funny that being injured and unable to work ended up saving her from watching her future mother-in-law die. So she bought some time.
But Luz’s true mom is dead. This is the second mom she has lost, and she’s only fourteen. As powerful as King and Hooty are, Luz needs Amity. Luz needs Amity to support her and help her get back her mom.
So Amity has to make a choice. Fear and insecurity, or love and a high chance of death?
She’ll probably choose death. Because that’s the message that this family-friendly show is giving us kids. Fuck capitalism. All you need in life is to do what makes you happy and be with the ones you love.
#the owl house#toh#owl house#toh spoilers#edalyn clawthorne#eda clawthorne#toh eda#eda the owl lady#luz noceda#amity blight#lilith clawthorne#cancel lilith#toh lilith#the owl house analysis#toh analysis#owl house analysis#toh meta#owl house meta#the owl house meta#agony of a witch#originalpost#toh king
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A Blinded Kiss
I haven’t posted anything recently so I dug around in my WIPs to see if anything was even worth posting and I found this that I made a while ago. It certainly isn’t the best but it isn’t the worst out of all my other WIPs.
"Is this really necessary?" The bluenette asked, eyeing a blindfold given by her brotherly figure.
"Of course it is Pixie!" An older man with two-toned hair replied, way too over enthusiastic about the whole situation. "It's a great way to find your way around the manor”
"And it's a great family bonding experience too!" Another man in the room replied, even more enthusiastic than the first.
"Fine, I'll do it Jay" the blue-eyed girl huffed, twirling the blindfold between her fingers. "What are the rules again, Dick?"
Dick beamed at the girl before answering. "Well Mari, it's simple. Put the blindfold on, count to fifty, spin around and try to steal a hug from anyone in the manor"
"So I have to walk around the manor blindfolded and try to sneak up on you? You know that's impossible!" Marinette exclaimed, she would not go around the house looking like a touch-starved fool.
"That's exactly why we're doing it" Jason replied, shrugging his shoulders. "It'll last a long time."
After a few seconds, the blue-eyed girl sighed, giving in to both Jason and Dick. "Fine, if that's what makes you happy" Marinette wrapped the matte-black fabric tightly around her eyes, already struggling within the first few seconds. She began counting and she heard the two scuffling away, smiling while being able to tell which direction they went in. In the mean time, Marinette debated her options.
'Both Jason and Dick would be the ideal choices but they'll be able to hear me from a mile away. Tim would be the most logical one since he's half asleep, but where does he even go in this maze? God knows where Alfred is, Mr Wayne is scary. Damian-' She paused her train of thoughts, granted Marinette had only met him a few days ago but that didn't stop the crush she had heavily try to cease. 'He'd probably hear me from a mile away as well. This game is so unfair'
Soon enough, Marinette reached fifty and spun herself around, she used a bit too much force than needed so now not only was she blinded but she lost her sense of direction. Giving herself a minute to recover, the bluenette began to walk. Using her improved senses, thanks to the miraculous, Mari was slowly able to create a theoretical map in her mind, though it did take much more energy than she desired.
"Fighting an akuma is easier than this" The bluenette muttered as she hit her thigh along the corner of a wall.
Even though she was using her enhanced abilities, she'd pump into a corner or a wall every now and again, the amount of times increased when her energy was being used. After wondering a hall for what seemed like hours, the bluenette came to a staircase, one that she ever so carefully used to get to a higher floor. Once she did, she kept a hand on one of the walls, using it as a guide. Soon enough, her hand came to what felt like a doorframe. The door was closed she could tell but it was recent used due to the fact that the doorknob was warm. Making sure not to intrude, she knocked on said door, she almost missed the muffled 'come in' had she not been paying attention. Marinette opened the door, went in and quickly shut it behind her, taking a deep breath.
"Okay I hope you don't mind but which room is this and whose in the room? Dick and Jason thought it would be a good idea to walk around the manor blindfolded while trying to sneak up on them" The bluenette huffed, only to freeze when she heard a familiar chuckle.
"I've heard, you're in my room, It's Damian just to clarify" 'Sh-' "So, what task must be fulfilled to give you permission to take the blindfold off? I doubt you want to keep it on any longer" Marinette giggled.
"You're right, I would probably get lost of I continue. Um, I have to 'steal a hug' apparently"
"So you have to hug someone without them inspecting it" Damian came to that conclusion to which the bluenette nodded her head.
"Yeah that's basically it, hey do you have anywhere I could sit down? I'm getting tired..."
"Of course, my bed is five steps to your front and two steps to your right, make yourself comfortable" She wasn't sure how red she had gotten but she obliged anyway. Had she not been wearing the blindfold, she would've seen Damian smiling at her flustered state. Giving herself a moment to regain her energy, Marinette turned to where she presumed Damian was working at his desk. "Can I hug you? Jay never said I couldn't ask the person first. I-I won't if you don't want me to! I just wanted to ask so..."
She heard the boy thoughtfully hum before he made his way over to her. From what she could tell, Damian was now in front of Marinette, looming over her.
"Did Todd or Grayson say it had to be a hug?" Marinette tilted her head in confusion and thoughtfulness, that had never crossed her mind before.
"W-"
"What happens if I kiss you instead?"
The bluenette didn’t reply with words as she knew how terrible her words would be in her flustered state. But she wanted this, her heart longed for it in a way it never did for anyone else. Instead, she nodded, giving the green-eyed boy permission to do as he wished.
She felt his hand lightly tilt her chin up towards, where she presumed, his face was. Then he pressed his lips onto hers, his other had behind her head, tugging at the fabric around her eyes. Marinette felt bliss, she was glad that no one else would interrupt this moment. Shivers went down her spine as she felt Damian’s hands travel up from behind her neck and to wear the blindfold was knotted, gently tugging at the binding. She was glad that when her face was free from the fabric that comprised her vision, the first thing in her line of eyesight were Damian's deep emerald eyes, the shimmered the same way they had when she first laid eyes on him, she'd been enraptured ever since. The boy, however, was smirking as he noticed the pink that dusted her face. Without a moment passing, she threw herself the green-eyed boy, delivering a hug. As she pulled away, her hands cupped his face and she returned his embrace with one of her own. When she pulled away once more, she smiled in satisfaction at his flustered expression.
"When did you realise you had feelings for me?" Marinette asked softly, her forehead pressed against his trying to regain her breath.
"That's a very easy question" Damian stared lovingly into her eyes. "I fell the moment I saw you take down that Akuma three times your size" Her eyes widened.
"You know about me being Ladybug?"
"The same way you know I'm Robin"
They both smiled, creating a truce to not reveal anything.
"Well I better get going, see you later." She got up from the bed and opened the door, only to turn around and say "Je t'aime mon cœur" before exiting the room, leaving a blushing Damian.
Marinette walked back down the stairs, the piece of cloth in hand and small love-struck smile on her face. When she entered the main living room, she came face to face with the owner of the manor.
"Oh hello Mr Wayne"
"Hello Marinette, I see you managed to get the blindfold off" The older man gestured towards the piece of fabric in her hand. "And please, do call me Bruce. Who did you end up surprising with a hug then?"
She smiled brightly before replying. "Damian"
His usual formal demeanor broke for a moment but Bruce quickly picked the pieces back up. "He didn't attack you or injure you in any shape or form?"
Marinette decided to play the oblivious little girl. "No..? Why, does he do it often?" Her head titled in confusion.
"Nothing it doesn't matter" Bruce simply sighed and shook his head. "Also, there's something I'd like to discuss with you at dinner, if you don't mind"
"No not at all, I'll see you at dinner then?" Bruce nodded and left, leaving Marinette alone in the room, waiting for her honorary older brother and his brother to come in. Which they did but only after some time, it was hilarious to see them crouched down, talking to each other in hushed voices. They flinched as she cleared her throat, both slowly turning towards the sound to find a smug looking Marinette and a blindfold whipped around her finger.
"I win"
~~~
Most of the occupants at the table were either in an all out war or were about to be, except for Marinette and an exasperated Bruce Wayne.
"So Marinette" The eldest Wayne began, silencing the rest of the table. "I hope you don't mind me asking but when you were off searching for Jason, you mentioned attacks that have been occurring in Paris, is this true?"
No one failed to notice the girl flinch. "Yeah it's true"
"...how bad are the attacks? In your opinion"
"Well it depends on how strong the person's emotions are really. If their emotions are strong, then the Akuma is strong too"
"What's the strongest akuma that Paris has seen?" It was Tim who asked and memories of the event began swimming through her mind, she got rid of them with a shake of her head.
"The deadliest akuma Paris has experienced was an akuma called 'Syren'. She's a regular person but, as an akuma, she managed to kill around 2 million people. But don't worry! Ladybug's cure managed to bring them back to life"
"D-did... did you die, Pixie?" Jason asked, his anger mixed with worry was boiling over and luckily simmered after seeing her shake her head.
"Do you think the heroes of Paris would let heroes from the Justice League come over to help?"
Marinette contemplated for a moment, should she really risk the heroes getting akumatized? "I think they would but I wouldn't know"
Bruce nodded while Jason leaned over the table to talk closer to his honorary little-sister. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I didn't want to bother you"
"You're not a bother, Pixie" Jason smiled at the bluenette on the other side of the table. "You never are and you never will be"
~~~
Marinette returned to Paris a few days later, in the mean time, Bruce and the rest of the batfam were planning their visit to the City of Love. Soon enough, the vigilantes were boarded on the plane. Their flight to Paris was relatively silent. After a few hours, they landed and the vigilantes waited on the Eiffel Tower, only to find out there was a battle going on. Before they could engage in the fight, they were engulfed with magical ladybugs that seemed to fix anything destroyed. As they were mesmerized by the cure, a certain spotted-heroine wobbly landed on the platform. Batman was first to notice.
"Ladybug" His voice caused the others to turn around. "Thank you for allowing us into your city"
Ladybug nodded, not uttering a single word.
"We were hoping, with your permission of course, that we could help you be rid of Hawkmoth once and for good" Again, Ladybug didn't reply. "Ladybug?"
When the heroine didn't respond, Batman glanced at Nightwing and the rest of his sons, clearly something was wrong. Unexpectedly, Robin took his glove off, approached the Ladybug-themed hero and placed his hand onto her forehead.
"You have a fever" he stated, his hand trailing down her face to cup her cheek. His family all shot him weird looks. She tiredly blinked at the vigilante, recognising him as Robin and allowed herself to fall into his arms, detransforming while doing so, leaving a burning hot Marinette.
"Dami?" He hummed. "Take me home, please..." She drifted off to sleep, comforted in her lover's arms. He glanced at his family, holding the bluenette close.
"Pixie...is Ladybug?" Red Hood's voice was first.
"You didn't know?" Robin's voice mocking confusion, enraging Red Hood that his youngest brother knew something about his sister that he didn't. Even more so that his demon brother was holding said sister,
"We should take her back home" Dick went over to feel the girl's forehead. "She's burning"
"Tikki?" Robin asked and a red creature flew out from one of Mari's pockets, startling most of the people there.
"I'll try to heal her on the way, follow me"
The floating red creature flew down from the Eiffel Tower, Robin and Marinette close behind. After some hesitation, the others followed, they ended up on top of a bakery. One by one, they entered through the trapdoor on the balcony, finding both Damian with his mask off and a weak looking Marinette. Despite her enfeebled state, the bluenette greeted each vigilante, her gaze landed on Jason.
"It's just a fever, I'll be fine"
Jason removed his helmet and ran a hand through his hair before both settled on his hips. "You don't look fine"
"I promise I am" She wasn't convincing, not at all.
"Fine" Jason huffed, he could never truly say no to the girl he viewed as his little sister. "But since when were you two a thing" He pointed at the two, his gaze resting maliciously on Damian.
"It's all thanks to you, you know" Marinette smirked at Jason's confusion. Tim snickered as he seemed to catch on to what she was saying.
"Had you not organized that 'blindfolded game', I doubt we would be together at this moment" Damian supplied the information, clearly unfazed by the burning rage in the eyes of his older brother.
"Baby Bird's all grown up" The eldest Wayne son overdramatized wiping a fake tear, Batman sighed at his two eldest sons while pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Get your fucking hands off her, Demon Brat!" Jason tried to lunge at Damian, only to be stopped by both Dick and Tim. Though his fury only grew when Marinette snuggled closer to the green-eyed boy, both smirked in victory over Jason's horrified appearance.
Marinette was now part of the family in more ways than one. Though they wish they had found out in better circumstances, they would be able to take down Hawkmoth once and for all, side by side, all together. And to think this all happened because of a silly blindfold game.
#daminette#damian x marinette#maribat#maridami#marinette x damian#mlb x dc#ml x dc#big brother jason#this is eh I guess
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The Five times She met the Hargreeves- Five Hargreeves
Plot: Fives wife has been looking for him for ages, and she is not so happy about it, although she meets his fellow siblings along the way (Fluff and cuteness mainly)
Cammie was dangerous. In-fact she was well known for being the most ruthless assassin the commission has. Her abilities made her quick, her training made her agile, he mind made her strong. She never played by the rules. But if you saw under the fact she could kill you within the blink of an eye, she was a sweetheart. Her heart was made of gold, she was soft and kind the kind of girl thought to be made of honey and glass.
However, not playing by the rules, lead the Handler to become fed up with the bright bubbly girl so she threw her to the end of the world with nothing to ‘harden’ her up. Unfortunately for the Handler that is how Camille Winters met Five Hargreeves and the two became inseparable - unstoppable - the perfect duo.
There were moments where Cammie was willing to murder Five Hargreeves, and that was the day he got the equations wrong.
***
It was a cold Thursday night when Allison Hargreeves was talking with her friends about the revolution in the hair salon. It was like any other day.
Until - with a loud crash, the door was thrust open. Everyone jumped to their feet, standing in a defensive position.
In the door frame stood a girl, who looked to be in her teens. Her face was unreadable as she spoke in a clear commanding voice.
“I’m Cammie. Man over the road called the cops on ya love. I’d disperse the mothers meeting”
Allison never got to thank her, she was gone as quick as she came.
***
Klaus as never one for constant socialising, which is why he was sat in an empty coffee shop with Ben sat opposite him. He didn’t notice the girl in a waitress uniform stand next to him until she spoke.
“Im Cammie, you want anything else Mister?”
Klaus looked up, to see a teen girl staring back at him with an unreadable expression.
“Are you not a little young to be of the working class my dear?” he asked absentmindedly. Ben rolled his eyes.
The girl smiled. “Im way older then you would believe darling,” she turned to where Ben was sat, seemingly invisible to anyone but Klaus. “And what about you hot stuff?” she smirked.
Klaus lifted his head from his arms “You can see him?” he asked
“No one ever comes in here darling, I think I’d notice not one but two cuties when they walk in,”
Ben sent an awkward smile “No thank you.” he said.
Cammie sent a sweet smile before walking off. She was gone before they could say anything else.
***
Cammie was furious. And that was an understatement. Five had gone through the portal, taking her with him to get back to his family but somehow she was thrown away and separated from him thrown back into the 60′s where she tried desperately to find him. Then, when she awoke to the grimy alleyway she had been chucked into she realised that she was stuck in her teenage body.
She told Five. She told him the equations were wrong but did he listen? Nope.
And now she was stuck god knows where.
Now, Cammie like Five had extraordinary powers. Although there lines of what she could do were blurred she could see flashes of events that happened in the past, present and future. In other words, time was her bitch. But when she saw the flash of Five being threatened by the Handler her blood boiled.
The only issue with Five is that the little shit couldn't seem to stay in the right timeline so Cammie didn’t know when he would be experiencing what she thought he was going through.
Needless to say all thoughts of common sense went out the window when she saw the Handler pointing a gun at her teenage husband. So naturally she teleported to the commission.
When she arrived the Handler was sitting at her office with an unpleasant smirk on her face. In-front of her were two people whom Cammie did not recognise. The first was a man, with long Jesus style hair and tan skin. He had tan skin and wore a shocked expression. The other was a woman with shoulder length dark hair and wide brown eyes. The Handler did not seem even slightly surprised and Cammie’s sudden appearance.
“Cammie dear, to what do I owe the pleasure?” she asked smiling.
“Why the HELL is my husband?” She growled, eyes narrowing into slits. The Handler rolled her eyes.
“Ah yes. Don’t worry he’s a free man, still trying to stop what cannot be stopped..I must say you do look better at this age than you did two weeks ago”
Cammie rolled her eyes, looking at the two people next to her, who were staring in shock.
“I told him.” Cammie said angrily. “I told him the equations were wrong. But my husband thought he was right.”
Cammie picked up a Vase and threw it against the bookshelf so it shattered into a million pieces. “BECAUSE FIVE HARGREEVES NEVER FUCKING LISTENS”
The Handler didn’t even blink, but the man in the chair with the Jesus hair spoke up “Hold on a minuet, Five Hargreeves is your husband? The bastard managed to get married??”
Cammie laughed. “And how would you know him?”
The man paused for a moment, “Im his brother, Deigo”
Cammie rolled her eyes, “Tell me, was he always a little shit?”
“Yes,”
The Handler stood up, picking up a gun and pointing it at Cammie who didn’t seem even slightly fazed at the fact her life was being threatened. By now it was a common occurrence. “What do you want Cammie?” she said
“Where. Is. My. Husband.” she seethed
Diego spoke up “Last I heard he was with a Man called Elliot, down an alleyway”
Cammie turned to face him “How come your’e more helpful in a second than Five has been his entire life?”
“Tell me, do you flirt with all the Haregreeve siblings?” The Handler sneered.
Cammie laughed “She’s just salty Five chose me and not her.”
The Handler raised her weapon firing multiple times but it was too late. In a flash of blue light Cammie was gone.
“Five got Married?”
***
Five and Luther were having a nice little conversation about the poor dead Elliot in the chair when they saw a flash of blue light which seemed to be emitting a lot of crashing sounds and swearing coming from the balcony below them.
“Shit. Its the commission get down.” Five whispered to Luther who decided to do as he was told.
“How have they found us?”
Five sighed running his hands through his hair in frustration as he peeked behind the sofa. “I don’t know, but they are dangerous so be careful.”
“FIVE HARGREEVES I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU ARE HERE I AM GOING TO WRING YOUR NECK AND STAB YOUR EYES OUT WITH SPOONS”
“How many enemies do you have??” asked Luther eyes wide in shock.
However Five was staring at where the sound was coming from with a slight smile on his face. Luther was more shocked that Five was producing a genuine smile than anything else.
“She’s not an enemy” he said standing up and walking to the stairs.
“FIVE GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL YOU”
Luther looked at him incredulously “Well she sure sounds like it.”
When Five got to the stairs, he was relieved to see Cammie, standing hands on hips glaring at him with the angriest stare she could muster. He merely smiled back, finding it slightly amusing how angry she was. (And slightly scary but he would never admit that)
As soon as it clicked that Five was in fact okay, Cammie marched up the staircase yelling how much she was going to absolutely slaughter him, her speed not slowing down as she drew nearer
“Er - Five? Are you sure she is not the enemy because she looks -”
Luther watched as Cammie came nearer to his brother unsure of what to do until she ...kissed Five?
The girl had ran to Five and placed her hands firmly on the sides of his face pulling him down to kiss her. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer. Her hands travelled to his hair, running her hands through it.
Luther just stood there mouth open, trying to comprehend what was happening in front of him.
The kiss broke, leaving Cammie still on her toes, face buried in the crook of Fives neck as he had one arm still wrapped around her waist and the other stroking her hair.
“W h a t?” Luther finally managed to get out
The pair separated looking up at the bigger man, who was staring between the two blankly. first of all he was shocked that Cammie hadn’t tried to kill them, but also the fact that his annoying, self centred arsehole of a brother actually found love - and not to mention the fact he had never seen Five as happy as he looked right now.
“Cammie, this is my brother Luther, Luther this is my wife Cammie.”
“Im sorry you are married?”
Five rolled his eyes so Luther turned to Cammie.
“You actually like him?”
At this Cammie laughed, brushing hair out of Five’s face “Surprisingly I do - even if he never listens to me.”
Five turned to her “I do listen to you!”
“Erm no you don’t. I told you the calculations were off but you didn’t listen to me”
Five open and closed his mouth but no words came out, so he turned to Luther.
“We carry on with the plan, but this time we have her. She is so much better.”
“I still can’t get over the fact that you are married,”
***
Cammie was laid in bed. Her head was on Fives chest, her arms wrapped around him, her leg hooked up on his waist. He was snuggled into her, burying his face in her hair as she slept, his arms tightly wrapped around her
The Hargreeve siblings were stood around around them, each with their mouth open slightly in shock.
“Can anyone else not get over the fact Five is Married?” Luther asked
“To a reasonable person no doubt,” Allison continued.
“And a baddass. The commission adore and are terrified by her.” Diego added
“Ben and I would like to point out she clearly makes Five happy. That’s a yay right?”
“Vanya nodded her head. “He looks at peace for once.”
And he did. For the first time in years the siblings saw their grumpy, annoying, pessimistic brother smile, a real genuine smile.
“If you guys don’t stop staring he will kill you,”
#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#five x reader#number 5#five x oc#the umbrella academy#deigo hargreeves#luther hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#ben hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#Five fluff#five hargreeves fluff#aiden gallagher#umbrella academy fluff
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 07 part two
(Masterpost)
Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!
Lantern Lighting
Now we have the famous lantern scene, where everybody gets to express their character and have dates, ranging from disastrous to delightful, with the objects of their affection.
Wei Wuxian continues to be ridiculously good at drawing.
We’ve all seen Lan Wangji’s lovely first smile in the show a million times, so...let’s look at it again!
This scene is important not just because of the smile, but because there’s a distinct shift in the way they talk about their growing relationship. In the pond, it was “come visit me” and “never!” “I want to be your friend” “No need.” Basically Lan Wangji firmly saying no to Wei Wuxian’s offers of friendship.
This time, Wei Wuxian says “let’s do this together” and Lan Wangji says “I’m used to being alone,” which is not actually a No, just an explanation. And WWX says, you can change that. And then Lan Wangji DOES change it, sharing the lantern and the promise with Wei Wuxian.
Whoever painted this flower is even better than Wei Wuxian at plein air painting.
(more after the cut!)
Everybody’s wishes
Nie Huasang makes a practical wish. Wen Qing prays for her brother and Jiang Cheng notices how she’s like Yanli. Jiang Cheng isn’t very intense about Wen Qing, which could be a sign of his shyness but could also be a sign of his gayness or aceness. After all, later in life he’s an apparently wealthy clan leader who is hot as fuck, and needs an heir, since his nephew is a Jin. But he’s still not married, 16 years after breaking up with and uh, helping to kill and cremate, the girl he liked in summer school.
The Promise We Made Together
Wei Wuxian makes an ultra-idealistic wish/promise while Lan Wangji watches and falls the rest of the way in love with him, and silently makes the same pledge inside his head. Later they will each refer to this as a promise they made together, which is a really super high level of face-reading by Wei Wuxian, to understand that he really is speaking for both of them here. While making this promise, Lan Wangji brings out his Yin Iron Magic Bag and waves it around in front of everyone, but nobody notices.
Let’s take a moment to consider *why* this moment is so powerful for Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is a boy whose emotions are always on the boil. He’s 100% upset all the time, at this age, and he keeps it clamped down all the time. His cultivation level is probably as high as it is partly because of all the work he does in emotion regulation. (note: if you haven’t read all the meta at @howpeacefulislwj , go read it; it’s awesome and hilarious)
Wei Wuxian doesn’t GAF about emotion regulation; he just expresses what he feels, all the damn time.
He is openly bored, lusty, playful, hungry, whiny. He straight up tells Lan Wangji “you’re boring and you have a stick up your ass” as part of saying he wants to be friends; no deference and also no falseness.
And he can see right through Lan Wangji’s reserve, barging into his loneliness and isolation without any regard for all of his wards. Wards are made to be broken.
(Unrelated note: Young Lan Wangji's rare moments of contentment seem to come from looking at something beautiful--the moon, falling petals, these lanterns, his mirror.)
But Wei Wuxian is also good. Lan Wangji desperately wants to be good. And here’s Wei Wuxian embodying this awful, amazing, tempting alternative path, in which all the interesting things in life get explored thoroughly, all the sweetness and beauty gets consumed unreservedly, all the pain and ugliness gets confronted and endured without hesitation.
In this moment, Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji “you can change,” and then offers up this prayer/promise that is just pure chivarly, speaking straight to Lan Wangji’s heart. Very simply, I want to spend my life doing right. Not 3500 rules; just one.
This infuriating boy, who breaks rules and who flirts indiscriminately and who pushes and pushes and pushes, reveals himself in this moment to be a hero at the beginning of his journey, and Lan Wangji sees it, and his heart goes right over the cliff.
The Girls’ Room
The girl cultivators all rush over to Yanli to get in her business about her betrothal, inspiring Jin Zixuan to act like a jerk to her and get even further onto Wei Wuxian’s bad side.
Talk Shit, Get Hit
Yanli’s wish was that Wei Wuxian would grow up and be good. He promptly launches his own personal Sunshot campaign, punching her fiancee so hard that the sun falls out of the sky and the previously well-lit scene transitions to full night.
So, in English, “don’t mention it again” is really mild, akin to “I don’t want to talk about it.” Wei Wuxian’s reaction makes it seem like Jin Zixuan said something really shitty, like “don’t you dare mention that woman to me!” So I’m assuming something is being lost in translation.
Lan Wangji tries to calm him down. He grabs Wei Wuxian’s sexy arm muscle and basically holds it until the Jiangs exit the scene.
Nie Huaisang has placed himself between the opposing factions, which is unusually direct of him. In the future he’ll stick to being an unindicted co-conspirator when Wei Wuxian starts trouble.
Ants in my Pants
Lan Wangji thinks kneeling can make Wei Wuxian cry, which is adorable of him.
He really relishes this opportunity to be a pedantic tool to his new boyfriend that annoying boy he hardly ever touches, and it really doesn’t work out for him, poor lamb.
Jiang Fengmian stops by to show exactly how deep his affection for Wei Wuxian runs, and to give him whiplash from constantly changing parental expectations. In a couple of hours he’ll be laughing over WWX & JC’s hijinks.
Wei Wuxian takes this opportunity to fantasize about bad things happening to the other boy in the fight, which is in no way foreshadowing of anything.
Douche Dads Conference
We now convene this meeting of the douchebag council. Jiang Cheng is also invited even though he’s a prick, not a douche. <--important distinction
This is our first time meeting Clan Leader Jin Guangshan. He's actually the most sensible and best parent in this scene, but his smug self-satisfaction hints at his true nature. This actor, Shen Xiaohai, has been active in cdramas for a long while now. I wonder what he looked like 15 years ago?
...Holy mother of god.
Jiang Fengmian is the worst dad and the worst husband here. His clan believes in letting children do what they want - uhh YOUR child wants to marry Jin Zixuan. “I wrote a letter to her mother, who arranged this marriage.” Uhhh she arranged for her sickly, low-cultivation-level, sweet and vulnerable child to marry the heir of a rich and powerful clan, with a powerful mother-in-law who’s looking forward to loving and protecting her. Basically she’s guaranteed her daughter’s safety and comfort, and even potential happiness, since her husband may learn to appreciate her (and in fact, does, thanks to soup and repeated beatings from WWX).
Mom worked hard and probably spent a fair amount of social capital to achieve this. And you’re going to toss that aside because the boy thinks he’s too good for her? What the everloving fuck, how are you a clan leader in the first place?
You can see that Jiang Cheng understands all of this and what a terrible choice his father is making here.
So do the other adults in the room.
Jin Guangshen: our wives are going to kill us
Lan Qiren: I'm looking at a couple of dead men
Jiang Fengmian pointedly won’t listen to Jiang Cheng or let him speak, showing that all his talk about being free is actually bullshit, that only applies to other people’s children.
Jiang Chang vaults off of the deck to tell Wei Wuxian about it. Hottt
Sorry Sis
Wei Wuxian goes to Jiang Yanli to sorta-apologize and sorta ask to be let off the hook for fucking up her engagement, which he absolutely did. He knows it, which is presumably why he bows to her in paperman form while hiding outside.
At no time has Jiang Yanli indicated to anyone that she doesn’t want to marry Jin Zixuan, as far as I can see, or said she wanted to be defended from insults with punching. Look how good SHE is at defending a person from insults, for comparison.
Yin Iron Blah Blah Blah
The senior Lans meet with Jiang Fengmian to talk about the Yawn Yin Iron. Yawn.
Jiang Fengmian addresses Lan Xichen as Lan Gongzi, which is adorable, since he is a big boy to everyone else. His family calls him Xichen and other people call him Zewu-Jun.
Farewell and Fuck You
The three Jiang kids come to say goodbye.
Lan Quiren says goodbye with a heap of criticism for Wei Wuxian and the horse he rode in on, and Jiang Fengmian basically says, yep, that’s what he’s like, all right.
Good thing Wei Ying gets so much verbal abuse at home he doesn’t take it very hard when he finds it in the field.
Wangji doesn’t say goodbye properly, which will be a recurring theme for the two of them.
I don’t know if this is because he has a problem with goodbyes, or is just being a jerk, or because he’s so bad at lying he doesn’t dare talk to Wei Wuxian lest he reveal his travel plans.
Indulgent Dad Continues to be the Worst
Jiang Cheng complains at Wei Wuxian for wanting to say goodbye to Lan Wangji, and WWX says he likes him because he is equal to WWX in fighting, whereas JC sucks. JC hits him tries to hit him--gosh, he DOES suck, comparatively.
Yanli, who has been keeping these boys in line all summer, sighs deeply at her Dad’s tolerance for their hijinks. OP has five brothers and this sibling-hijinks behavior is 100% accurate, except for the part where it is happening at someone else’s house in front of the hosts.
WWX pretending to be Lan Qiren where Lan Wangji can see him doing it, in front of Lan Qiren’s colleague and supposed friend, and just earning a laugh from the patriarch? Good lord. Dad Jiang tolerating this is shocking, particularly in the in-show culture where corporal punishment is as common as tea.
We’ve tried Nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!
Uggghh why are you like this?
Here in the real world, OP uses “positive discipline” with her child, and encourages other parents to consider it, particularly if your child is neuroatypical or asynchronous. That said, JF should be punishing the crap out of both boys for this behavior every time it happens, or should quit being a clan leader. He’s relying on Jiang Yanli to keep them in line while he gets to just be amused by them. And he’s letting Lan Qiren discipline Wei Wuxian instead of doing it himself. He suuuuuuucks.
Lan Wangji watches all of this. Lan Xichen reminds Lan Wangji that without Wei Wuxian, he’s completely fucking miserable. Lan Wangji still doesn’t plan to bring him along on his trip, though.
Time to return to our lives of crushing loneliness
Rabbits
At this same moment when Lan Wangji is staring down the barrel of future loneliness, Wei Wuxian is already deciding to leave the (forbidden) rabbits in Cloud Recesses “In case Lan Zhan gets lonely.” This small decision by Wei Wuxian - breaking the rules of Cloud Recesses for the millionth time - is kinder than he knows. Because what is the job of these rabbits? Let’s have a desaturated flashback.
Lan Zhan spent 3 years in the ice cave. The rabbits kept Lan Yi company in the ice cave. So...did the rabbits sneak in to keep Lan Wangji company in the ice cave as well? I’m going to say yes. By ep 43 they are following him to the gate of Cloud Recesses so they are very attached to him. Well done, Wei Ying.
Where my bitches at? Seriously, our warren needs bitches
(Is Watership Down still a thing people read? If not, just go ahead and assume all of OP’s rabbit jokes are about Watership Down because OP ain’t going to stop making them)
While Wei Wuxian annoys the bunny he has a flashback to the scene that happened 4 minutes earlier. The Untamed editors assume the viewership has the attention span of a goldfish, and I personally appreciate that they understand me so well.
Wei Wuxian figures out that Lan Wangji is going on the road alone, and tells the bunny immediately. The bunny is very concerned.
Writing Prompt: What do next-generation cultivators Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi wish for at lantern-lighting time?
#fytheuntamed#the untamed#wangxian#the untamed gifs#cdrama#chen qing ling#restless rewatch the untamed#canary3d-original#my gifs#the untamed spoilers
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I can’t believe it took me until part 8 to do my favorite boy but
Here are the pros and cons of dating
Noah
Cons
Noah is really non confrontational, so he tends to let issues fester. It’s not that he’s trying to let things build up, it’s just that he doesn’t think they’re important enough to bring up. He won’t start a fight about them when they’ve built up, but if MC is angry about something he’ll mention that there’s a bunch of things he’s let go but not have specifics. It ends up coming out like ‘yeah well what about all the other things?!’ ‘what other things!?’ ‘I don’t remember!!’. He’s not actively keeping track of all her mistakes, he genuinely does forgive and forget, but then when tensions come to a boil he needs to point out that there has been conflict that he just ignored. He’s not trying to guilt or gaslight MC, but sometimes it feels like it. If she thinks especially little of his intentions, it feels like he’s just pulling things out of thin air to be mad instead of focusing on the issue. That’s not what he’s doing- he just doesn’t address little things until they feel like big things. But of course he hasn’t done the introspection to truly understand how doing this is hurtful or articulate that he doesn’t mean it to be.
When he and MC disagree, he lets things go wayyy too easily. This is fine if MC is a really mature, self-reflective person who can see that she’s crossed a line after the fact. But if MC is a little more selfish/immature, like Lottie, this is a huge con because he doesn’t give her accountability that would help her grow. We saw this with Hope- she wasn’t able to recognize how harmful her temper was when she was dating Noah because he never pointed it out, he just rolled over. If there’s a genuine problem- financial, emotional, logistically, he’ll ‘let it go’ until it’s a way bigger problem (and much harder to solve).
Sorry that most of these cons are about how he fights with people, but that’s what we saw in-game lol. I’d love to know more about how Lucas or Rahim fight with their partners. But when you’re arguing, Noah tends to focus on really little details of what you said instead of listening to the whole thing and getting a sense of the bigger picture. So let’s say the issue is ‘Noah, I need you to tell me when you’re borrowing my car because you took it to the gym and then it went from having enough gas to get me to work in the morning to being on empty. This morning I had to stop for gas and that made me late.” The issue there is actually ‘please tell me when you’re using my car”, but he fixates on the gas part and says “well fine I can fill up your tank”. So he focuses on little details that he can fix instead of acknowledging the actual problem.
He internalizes things so fucking hard. Yes he intellectually knows that when MC gives him feedback on things she’s talking about his BEHAVIOR and not him as a person, but he definitely feels like shit about himself if he makes a mistake and MC calls him on it. He’ll definitely beat himself up about things for weeks after it happens, and his internal dialogue in general is pretty toxic.
I can see him being a bit of a workaholic. Not in the same sense that Camilo is in Boat Party, but Noah definitely will go into the library on a day he’s scheduled to be off if he has projects to work on or will stay late because he got engrossed in research. Same thing now that the library’s closed because of COVID- it takes him two times as long to put everyone online and work from home, so he’s spending more time working than ever. He views it through the lens of the ‘greater good’- getting that display set up for the patrons is more important that seeing his wife two hours earlier because many members of the community outnumber one person. Plus he just cares so much about his work that he has a hard time seeing it as an inconvenience to other people.
He loves his family so much. Even when MC and he get married and have kids, he struggles to prioritize them over his siblings and parents. So if his little brother Arlo needs money, Noah won’t hesitate to give him a loan even if he and MC are struggling financially. If his aging mom or dad can’t live alone anymore, Noah will invite them to move in with his family, even if their house isn’t big enough to accommodate more people. I can see this being a huge point of contention, especially in that second scenario where MC would have to take on a caretaker role as well. Noah just wants to help people so bad and has a hard time saying no, so that can sometimes impede his partner.
He’s really used to living on low income, and so he has a lot of frugal habits and concessions that he thinks are normal that someone more middle or upper class might find irritating. These are all coming from my experience and things partners have complained about- but think things like only eating out once a month or refusing to turn the heat on until it’s dangerous or making his own laundry detergent. He grew up doing them out of necessity (and still does, student debt on a public librarian’s budget? I couldn’t do it), so he doesn’t realize how strange or frustrating his habits might be to someone who isn’t used to it. He also has a really hard time justifying spending excessive amounts of money, so if MC has lavish taste there’s going to be some conflict.
He doesn’t like initiating anything. Conversations, activities… you know *smirk emoji*. He will, but the ratio of when Noah suggests something to when MC does is like 1:8
My boy is beautiful, and his clothes look lovely, but he has 7 outfits that he rewears all the time. The closest thing to fashion is him putting a different button up shirt underneath his vest. It’s definitely a joke at work that he wears the same sweater, button up, and quarter length shirt just in different colors. You know that vine where the teacher walks into the room wearing the same shirt in different colors, saying the same ‘hello’ for like a million days. Noah’s coworkers remake that with him, because that’s exactly what he does.
He’s a bit of a homebody, and loves routine. For me, massive plus, I love that. But for someone who wants to party regularly or be spontaneous, I can see constantly changing plans and going out with people being really draining to Noah. He has a small group of close friends, so he’d struggle to remember MC’s friends' names if she has more than five. Don’t get me wrong, Noah will take MC to galleries and dates at least three times a month, but it has to be discussed and scheduled in advance.
Pros
Honestly, what isn’t a pro about him? Noah is a steadfast, thoughtful, and kind person. His politics are about taking care of people, providing them dignity and respect, and building community. He loves his family and is incredibly patient. He’s incredibly smart but not at all classist or condescending about it. I know this is supposed to be about how the islanders affect the person they’re dating, but oh my god he’s such a good person I love him. Let’s just say the pro for this is his positive aura.
He’s really good at group dynamics and listening, so he goes out of his way to make everyone feel heard and valued. If someone says something and no one acknowledges it, he’ll specifically engage with them so they’re not left hanging. If someone’s trying to get a word in but can’t, he’ll get everyone’s attention then say ‘so and so had an idea’. He’s not one to boisterously laugh in group settings, but he always makes eye contact and smiles if you make a joke that flops or say something he agrees with. If people are teasing about something, he picks up if it’s gone too far really easily and will gracefully change the subject/tell them to knock it off.
He’s super conscientious about respecting boundaries and ensuring the people around him are taking care of himself. If MC and him are long distance and texting after 10pm, he’ll be like “I love you, but we’ve both got to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. He’ll always check and make sure people have eaten when meeting up with them, and if they haven’t he’ll insist they get food from somewhere. 100% gives you his jacket, brings you water bottles, in general just wants you to take care of yourself.
Above all else, Noah just always ensures the people around him feel safe. The last thing he’d want to do is make people uncomfortable, so safe driving, safe spaces, safe sex are all musts. He’s really good in crisis situations because he can calm people down and encourage them to think critically.
Building off of that, he’s really aware of how much of the housework is being done by who and always tries to ensure he’s doing his part. I bet that was a big thing he ripped on Rahim for- Rahim expects his woman to clean up after him and do the bulk of the domestic work, and Noah knows that’s bullshit. I think Noah likes cleaning, anyways, and will usually take laundry/disinfecting bathrooms/cleaning dishes over cooking or running errands. But the mental load of keeping track of recipes/groceries that need replenishing and keeping up with kids needs, he’s aware of the imbalance and does his part. Obvious plus, because it sounds fucking exhausting to date a man. He fucking hates vaccuming though, and will splurge on a roomba.
He has a dry sense of humor that’s very based in puns and hyperbole. Sometimes it’s hard to know when he’s joking or not, but he never makes you feel bad for missing a joke or dwells on something for too long. He absolutely subscribes to the Mcelroys’ No Bummers rule, there are some things you don’t joke about and he’s happy to shut down inappropriate comments or ‘jokes’. He definitely prefers physical gaffs and dumb ways of saying things, so his favorite comedians are John Mulaney and Chris Fleming. While humor isn’t an important part of how he relates to other people, Noah enjoys being around funny people and won’t shut down their energy like Rahim, Marisol, or Hope.
This is just me projecting again but Noah is generoussss. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money at the library, he still has a ‘mutual aid’ budget each month (and goes over it often). He’s the first one to give money to panhandlers, donate to gofundmes, and give friends/family personal loans. That definitely gets him into sticky situations sometimes, because he has a hard time saying no and can get taken advantage of, but ultimately I think it’s a pro because he’ll never forget where he came from and always prioritize helping other people.
He has a really pretty, deep singing voice and this is a pro to me because fuck I meltttttt.
The shit he says to his partner or spouse? THE most romantic thing in the world. You think Mr. “you’re made of stardust” doesn’t shower his lover with the most meaningful lines at random times? You think he’s not quoting sappho and jane austen when he’s at a loss for words? You think he’s NOT going to turn over in bed on a lazy Saturday and say ‘this is the most perfect my life will ever be’? It’s not even prompted either, yes he’ll compliment Bobby or MC when they get all dressed up for date night, but more often he’ll profess his adoration in the middle of dinner, then take another forkful of food.
Fantastic with kids, and this is a huge pro because people who can work with kids and be patient/positive with them make me so fuckim soft. But if/when (hopefully when because if MC didn’t want kids I don’t think it’d last) they had kids, Noah is happy to be on bottle duty, wake up early to the baby, and generally be a really involved parent. He’ll take a big chunk of paternity leave, and generally be there as much as humanly possible. Even when they have multiple little tyrants running around, he always makes time to be alone with MC and make sure she’s not taking on too much.
He’s basically a lesbian, which is definitely a reason I love him so much. Hear me out- loves milfs, loves 80s music, communicates affection through meaningful glances and playing with hair but will die before explicitly saying any of it, crushes on his best friend for the longest time but never makes the first move, puts way too much emotional meaning and personal metaphors into objects and then presents them as gifts, is into fandoms and actively collects pop figures, is attracted to assertive/powerful women, wears beige skinny jeans, wears VESTS….. That’s a lesbian. He’s a bisexual man, but he’s also an honorary lesbian.
A really good confidant. Noah’s an amazing listener and never judges people harshly- his life philosophy is as long as you’re not hurting anymore or yourself, everything else is details. So you can definitely tell him secrets and confess regrets to him and he’ll listen with those soft eyes and gentle nods. Talking to him about mistakes always feels like unburdening yourself. And he’d never tell your secret to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you cheat on him, lie to him, or die, he’s never going to tell anyone your secrets.
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Worship (Chapter Three)
Title: Worship
Summary: August puts on a front, but he finally receives the care that he truly needs.
Pairing: August x First Person Reader
Chapters: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five |
Word Count: 3175
Warnings: Sex. There is sex. NSFW, 18+, you know the drill.
A/N: So this one was tough. I delved more into the psyche of it all, and had to determine exactly what it was that I was writing if I wanted to continue the story. Thank you to @brexrif for the lovely chat, and to @littlefreya and @agniavateira for letting me bounce ideas off of you. COMMENTS are my DREAM, leave me all your smutty fantasies. Enjoy!!!!
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CHAPTER THREE
We settled into a routine. August would come over to my apartment every Friday, sometimes leaving, sometimes staying till morning. I’d laid out a couple of ground rules, the most important ones being that he did as I asked, he wasn’t allowed to sleep with anyone else while we were doing this, and he wasn’t allowed to masturbate. I had no desire to share him with anyone else, and that included his hand.
Over the last month I’d treated him to something different each of those nights, all intent on getting him to experience a different kind of gratification than he was used to. I wanted August to feel important, to feel worthy of admiration. I’d yet to let him pleasure me; I wanted to establish some trust first.
Friday night, I was getting myself ready for the evening I had planned for him, applying the finishing touches to my makeup when I heard a loud banging on my front door. He’s early, I thought, striding over to chide him for being rough with my property. When I opened the door, August brushed past me straight into my house, not even bothering to say hello. I could see his back rise and fall as he stood on his mark, clearly agitated but waiting for me to speak. I walked into the kitchen for a bottle of wine and two glasses before addressing him.
“Rough day?” I asked, pouring the red liquid into their vessels. August glowered at me as I brought the drinks and the bottle to the couch, gesturing for him to sit. He said nothing as he joined me, downing his wine in one fail swoop and setting the glass on the coffee table. He put his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. I poured him another serving and offered it to him, placing my hand on his shoulder as I did. August recoiled at my touch, jumping away from me. I frowned.
“Talk to me, August.”
“You don’t understand. No one understands,” August muttered, head still down, rubbing the back of his hair with his hands. I put the wine down and tried again, putting my hand on top of his.
“August, may I t--”
“NO!” He roared, grabbing my wrist with one hand and locking his other hand around my throat, pressing me into the couch with his weight. “I don’t want you to touch me; it’s my turn. I haven’t fucked in over a month; I need it.”
I remained calm as I watched his rage boil over, his eyes sparking and his lips pressed into a firm line. I could feel how hard he was, see how desperate he was to get off, but he was waiting. Waiting for permission. That was a big step in my book, one that needed to be rewarded, only on my terms. But first, I had to let him see his way was wrong.
“Okay,” I told him, licking my lips and parting them, “Then show me. Show me ‘The Hammer’.”
August didn’t need to be asked twice. He instantly crushed his mouth into mine, plunging his tongue into its depths. His hands roamed my body roughly, uncaring. He ripped my clothes off, and I let him use me, making mental notes as he worked. He kissed my body, but he didn’t linger. One area was his goal, and once he found it, he stayed there. He was talented, and he soon drew moans out of my body, despite my resolve to only observe his skill.
“You like that, pet?” He mumbled around my mound. I nodded, gasping as he shoved two fingers inside of me. Damn it all, woman, get a grip!
Through my pleasure I couldn’t help but wonder one thing: why? He said he fucked hard, said he needed it, so why was he bothering with my needs? Why did he want to get me off first? Why all this attention to detail?
August brought me close to the edge. It felt good, but my mind was reeling with a million questions, so I still had control. I put on an act, pretending I was ready, squirming and mewling in an attempt to get him to reveal his game. I could feel August smile against me, his arm pinning me to the couch.
“You wanna come, baby girl?” he said, twisting his fingers deeper within me. I closed my eyes, crying out as he struck gold.
“Go ahead, pet. Beg for it.”
There it is. A power play. August wanted the control. He said that’s what he needed, but I knew better. My body was screaming at me, my mind told me to give in, but against everything I took a different road.
“No.”
His fingers hooked around my pelvic bone and yanked me toward him, danger dripping from his icy tone.
“No one tells me no.”
“I believe I just did.”
I watched August’s brow furrow, processing what I’d just told him, and he attacked my pussy with fervor, doing everything he could to get me to beg for it. Every suck, every lick, every scissor of his fingers brought me closer and closer to the point of no return. I wanted to give in, but I was on a mission now; I refused to beg. I wanted to know what he would do. I had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t like it very much.
I was right. August growled as I refused to cave, undoing his pants only enough to shove his very large erection inside of me. My eyes grew wide and I gasped as he struck into me repeatedly; he knew exactly the right angle to turn me into putty. He had me right where he wanted and he held me there, but I wouldn’t give. He was rutting into me for his own pleasure, but he couldn’t do it. When August was in charge, he couldn’t come, not without having made me want it first. In a bold move on my part, I laughed at the knowledge, and the sound that August made was utterly terrifying. He flipped me over and grabbed my throat again, pressing me hard against him as he fucked into me without care. My insides throbbed; I was so fucking close. I wouldn’t come though. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“What’s the matter August; can’t come unless you make me your bitch first?”
August shoved me into the couch, yelling in anger as he walked away. He did up his pants and headed for the door, but I grabbed a blanket and bolted in front of him, blocking his escape.
“No, August. I want you to stay.”
“FUCK!” he screamed. “Why do you have to make this so fucking hard?” he turned away as I wrapped the blanket around me. His voice came shaky, soft.
“Why don’t you want me?”
“Do you really think I don’t want you?” I asked him incredulously, standing behind him. “Do you really think so little of yourself?” I hovered my lips over his back, not touching, but close enough he could feel my breath, my words a low whisper.
“You think I’m not grateful every morning at work to find a granola bar on my desk? You think the way you look when you’re naked doesn’t send a thrill down into my core that I can’t satisfy on my own? You think I don’t spend the next hour and a half after you’re gone fucking myself into oblivion, picturing how amazing you look when you come?”
August shook his head, and I knew a scowl I couldn’t see was etched firmly into his features.
“But you never let me touch you.”
I sighed.
“August,” I said, running my hands down his arms and gently linking one of my fingers with his, “Would you like to touch me?”
He turned around slowly, his jaw clenching as he looked at me. I could see the battle raging behind his eyes: what he was used to versus what he truly wanted. August looked at the floor and nodded slowly. What he wanted won out. I caressed his face, planted a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, and walked backward until I was against the wall, pulling him with me.
“Then get on your knees, please. If you can get me to close my legs, then you get to come.”
August looked taken aback, as if he couldn’t believe that I would deny him what he wanted. He complied slowly, falling to his knees and staring as I dropped the blanket. I let him look, completely naked before him, and August waited; he was in new territory here. I laced my fingers into his curls, spreading my legs far apart and tilting my hips forward, positioning my pussy directly in front of his mouth.
“What you were doing before, with your mouth and your fingers?” I instructed him, “Do it again.”
August raised an eyebrow at me, ducking his head at once to comply. His tongue slipped into my still swollen folds and I gasped, hands planted firmly against the wall. He had me squirming in seconds, that talented muscle in his mouth greedily working my sensitive nub. August wrapped an arm around my back to hold me forward and brushed his other hand softly over my thigh, grazing his fingertips along my skin. My body hitched as his fingers found my wet heat, spreading me wide and teasing my entrance.
“August…” I moaned, and this made him grin. I forced myself to hold still as he licked a line over my slit, slipping two digits into my core. He crooked them just right and all at once, my body was engulfed in pleasure. I cried out, a desperate and lengthy moan. The muscles in my legs flexed hard, desiring to close around his hand. I curled my fingers around his locks, tugging them hard as he pulled my orgasm from me. August kept going. And the fact that I wasn’t moving made it feel so damn good.
“Bed,” I rasped, quaking around his fingers as my muscles continued to constrict. August grabbed my thighs and hooked my knees over his shoulders, his arms returning to my back for support as he suddenly stood. I yelped, pleasantly surprised at the ease with which he carried me. He made his way to the bed and dropped me on the mattress, his mouth relentlessly sucking my pussy the entire time.
Once I was horizontal August went back to work. I put my hands above my head and spread my legs, pretending I was his prisoner, and I let him do what he wanted to me; that was the game, and he did not disappoint. The amount of strength that man has in his tongue should be illegal. The agility in his fingers should be outlawed. The ideas and thoughts that roam around in his head… those should be carbonized and kept safe in a library somewhere forever. I gasped and moaned, pleaded for more, trembled and shook, but still he played, lying between my legs lazily. It occurred to me that he was waiting. Waiting for permission.
“August, fuck me,” I stated, making it seem like I was asking. He looked up at me then, his chin glistening, his fingers still moving.
“Would you like that?” he smirked as he worked my core. I could only nod; he had four fingers in me now, sliding them in and out as if he were a machine. His other arm pressed my hips into the mattress. Every fiber of my being desired to close my legs but I fought the urges, remaining still.
“How badly would you like that?” he asked softly, blowing a gentle gust of air on my slick folds. I arched my back and whimpered, refusing to move.
“It wasn’t a request, August.”
He looked at me again, stilling his hand and challenging me with his gaze. I challenged back; this may have been different from our norm, but he still knew the rules.
“Strip, please.”
August removed his hands from my body and sat back on his knees, unbuttoning his shirt as I watched. I greedily took in the sight of his rippling musculature, the lines in his shoulders and the well toned definition of his abs. He got off the bed to remove his pants, undoing his belt and his zipper agonizingly slowly; the smirk on his face and the cock of his eyebrow told me he was teasing me. I’ll allow it.
Once he was free of his clothes, August crawled back on top of me. I hadn’t moved, drunk on the power I had over him.
“Kiss me, August.”
August obeyed, bending his head to latch onto my lips with his own. I could taste myself, and I could feel his fingertips trail deliciously from my elbow to my waist. He’s learning. The kiss was slow, sensual, and deep, and it filled my body with an aching desire. August swept my hair back with his hand, cupping my face as he drew me into his embrace. He moved his lips to my neck and his hands to my breasts, worshipping my body similarly as I had done to him in the past.
I brought a hand down between us and gripped his hardened cock, lining it up with my entrance. August moaned into my shoulder as I pushed just the tip inside. I pulled his hair gently so that he would look at me, but firm enough that he knew I meant business.
“You’re going to fuck me now, August, but remember: you are not allowed to come unless you can get me to close my legs.”
“Fuck,” he cried, sheathing himself inside me. “This game is rigged.”
I chuckled a little.
“No love, you’re just playing against the master. Move, please.”
August did as he was told, thrusting into me wildly at first. I came near my orgasm but all of a sudden he stopped, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. That’s it, think. He pushed hard into me, grinding in a circle, then pulling out at a torturously slow pace, only to do it again. It was enough to get me nearly there, but it wouldn’t send me over. He knew it too.
The whole game I’d proposed was to get him to learn my body. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think he could win, and I wanted him to win, I really did. That type of victory while still being obedient to my requests would be so healing to his poor, broken soul; a mind so confused that it didn’t know what it wanted. There was a way for him to achieve victory, but I wanted him to work for it, I wanted him to find it. Come on, August, find it.
August continued the slow ministrations, his mouth on my neck teasing me mercilessly as I squirmed. He’s never gonna get it that way.
“That’s not fucking!” I cried out, as he did it again, smacking his shoulder. He laughed then, rich and deep, and the sound took my breath away. Oh August. I would do anything in my power to hear that laugh. That beautiful, carefree, melodious--
“Ohh!!” My thoughts were interrupted as August slammed into me, pausing when he was at his deepest. He pressed firmly against my cervix and fucking hell, that was it. He pressed harder and an endless stream of curse words poured from my mouth as pleasure shot through my abdomen. August took to my nipples with his mouth then; soft, wet kisses burning into my secret weakness. Oh god, he found it. I tried to smack him again but he just grabbed my wrists and pinned them to the bed. I shook my head, writhing and cursing and grinning profusely at his intelligence. I was ready to close my legs but I couldn’t, his hips had them pinned open. I was trapped.
“Do you want to close your legs?” He murmured, switching to the other nipple and thrusting again. Damn, he’s good. I keened as he licked a circle around the highly sensitive nub of my breast, flicking it with the tip of his tongue before engulfing in his mouth.
“August…”
“I’ll do as you ask. You want to close your legs, don’t you?”
There you go. Good boy. He was right, that’s what I wanted. And since, in our arrangement, he did what I wanted, he would let me close my legs. He had won, and I was ready to reward him. I looked at him softly, shivering as his attention to my nipple sent goosebumps barreling into my cheek and down my entire right side.
“Let me close my legs,” I whispered to him. He looked up at me, that goddamn smirk plastered on his face.
“What was that?” he asked, hips sinking further into my core. I closed my eyes, biting my lower lip as I grinned; I was so proud of him. And so turned on. August lapped at my nipple again.
“Let me close my legs!” I shouted, laughing in frustration at the sensations pouring through my body.
“If you insist,” he shrugged, letting go of my wrists and rising effortlessly into a plank. I snapped my knees up to my chest, eyeing him with searing determination.
“Now fuck me, Walker.”
I watched as August’s demeanor changed from playful to serious. He vigorously pounded into me, his thick girth striking the spot he’d been pressing into with every thrust. The orgasm he’d denied me from erupted at once, and stayed true until he was done. I held his face in my hands as I came, forcing him to open his eyes and look at me.
“Come for me, August.”
It had become our code phrase, and it was all August needed. He came roughly, loudly, his forehead pressed into mine. Rolling off of me to settle he closed his eyes, panting from his high. I immediately rolled over, running a hand down in his arm as I whispered in his ear.
“August, may I touch you?”
He nodded, and I went to work, worshipping his body and praising him for such a good job. I laid my body on top of his, muscle for muscle. My fingers matched his fingers, my arms and legs pressed onto his arms and legs, my head rested gently on his torso. I listened to his heartbeat slow before licking the sweat from his chest.
“So good, August,” I praised, kissing from his jawline to his temple. “You did so good; made me feel so good. I’m so proud of you.”
I saw the corners of August’s mouth turn up slightly, and my heart fluttered. I loved doing that for him. Before he drifted off to sleep I made sure he was clean, and underneath the blanket. My other plans for him would have to wait. Morning will be here soon enough.
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Chapters: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five |
Tags: @littlefreya @sciapod @thiccgeralt @fucking-hell-cavill @brexrif @peakygroupie @viking-raider @constip8merm8 @daniig95 @elinalfrida @hell1129-blog @oddsnendsfanfics @agniavateira @dearlybelovedluke @sofiebstar @wanderinglunarnights @omgkatinka
#henry cavill#henrycavill#august walker#august walker smut#august walker is my bitch#mission impossible fallout#body worship#fem!dom#male!sub#soft!august
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Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Divergent - All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Eric (Divergent)/Original Female Character(s), Four | Tobias Eaton/Tris Prior, Zeke Pedrad/Shauna, Marlene/Uriah Pedrad, Lynn (Divergent)/Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Female Character
Characters: Eric (Divergent), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Tris Prior, Four | Tobias Eaton, Zeke Pedrad, Shauna (Divergent), Lauren (Divergent), Max (Divergent), Jeanine Matthews, Peter Hayes (Divergent), Tori Wu, George Wu, Amar (Divergent), Harrison (Divergent), Johanna Reyes, Andrew Prior, Caleb Prior, Natalie Prior, Hana Pedrad
Summary:
*Formerly Catching Silver
Sylvan 'Silver' Bryant has a Dauntless heart, an Erudite mind, Amity kindness, and an Abnegation's ability to be selfless even if she has to sacrifice something of herself. She always knew it was Dauntless where she belonged but living up to her family's legacy there was another matter. Will she be able to overcome a hidden past and step out of their shadows when she finally joins her four older brothers in the faction of the brave? Will her feelings for her brother's best friend, Eric, get in her way or will he help her to finally heal the scars of her past? Eric Coulter had no regrets about leaving Erudite and his so-called family behind him. With fierce determination, he achieved his goal of becoming a leader of the faction and started his own legacy with the Bryant brothers as his allies and friends. Will the bonds of brotherhood be broken when the secret of his feelings for their precious sister is revealed or will it give him the family he never dared hoped for?
Chapter 2
Eric
My footsteps echo loudly against the rough stone walls as I make my way deeper into the bowels of the Dauntless compound. The air is chilly enough that I'm glad I didn't bother removing my heavier winter jacket and gloves after my return from a meeting in Erudite. In the hotter months of the year, this same cold air is a relief whenever I have had to make my way down here, but it's winter right now and it just makes the cold seep right down to my bones.
I don't know how people stood this cold back when Dauntless was first founded and resided in most of these subterranean places and I'm thankful we don't have to anymore.
I've been in Dauntless for a little over a year now but I'm still now quite as used to the compound as I should be by now. Every time I have to return to Erudite for a meeting it always feels like the culture shock I got when I first stepped foot in my new faction.
Before coming here I never gave actually living here much thought. I didn't contemplate mundane things like if the buildings Dauntless occupy have heating for winter or air conditioning for summer. I just took for granted that they would because Erudite did. There are a million other little things just like that which make big differences in day-to-day life in this faction. So much so that I'm still discovering things I didn't know even now.
Not that it's a bad thing, mind you. I fucking love being in Dauntless despite the huge differences between my old faction and new. I would be hard-pressed to describe what's so great about it but I guess it boils down to the fact that it's real here. There's no need for the fake smiles and the overly polished appearances among the members of this faction. Generally what you see is what you get and we prefer it that way, something that would never happen in Erudite.
There it's always about plots within plots hid behind different veneers of polite smiles and silver tongues. The hours I have to spend there are torture but are necessary for now. I'm still having to play by their rules in order to get what we need for Dauntless.
Although I hope that after today I won't have to do that for much longer.
I walk down a final hallway and see the door to the room I'm headed in front of me. The location of this room isn't where one would expect it to be. It's not located in the same section of the compound that the administrative part of the faction operates out of. It's not even in the section of the compound that houses all of the tech Dauntless uses as their command central.
This office is located in the bowels of Dauntless in a section of the compound that is hardly traveled anymore. Not since the faction spread out and claimed more buildings in the sector we are located for things like housing and shops.
I stand rigidly in front of a door, hesitating for a few seconds before I square my jaw, raise my hand and deliver three rapid raps.
I've barely lowered my arm when the command to enter is barked out. I take a deep breath and open the door to one of the smaller conference rooms that the leaders of Dauntless use for matters that need more security. It might seem paranoid to have this but when it comes to averting potential government coups and the possibility of mass genocide during the said coup, every pre-caution can and will be taken in this faction.
I nod in greeting to those who are already present as I shut the door behind me. A wave of warmth washes over me, drawing out a sigh of pleasure as I move towards my seat and begin to divest rid myself of my gloves and jacket.
The five people already seated give me the time to get settled in my chair but Max speaks up as I start to pull things from my messenger bag.
"I take it you were able to get evidence regarding their plans?"
"I believe you should take a look at what I have and make the determination for yourselves," I reply with a grimace as I start handing stuff over for the five senior leaders present to look over.
Max, Harrison, Clarence, Victoria, and Nate each take a set of documents to go over, switching out as they finish them off. Their expressions darkening with each new thing that's revealed. I watch Nate intently, knowing how close to home a few of the things I've uncovered are. I can tell the second he gets to one specific bit because his head snaps up and his eyes bore into mine. My jaw is tight as I try to contain my own rage and I only give a short terse nod.
After several more minutes of tense quiet Max tosses the last paper down with a sigh. "I would say you got evidence of something just not what I was expecting. Before we even get into this new stuff, give us a status report on their progress so far in building their own army and if it can be traced back to any of the higher-ups in Erudite leadership."
The report starts out like all these official reports have so far with a recap of the events chronicling the escalation of events. I've gotten so used to doing this I don't have the nervous jitters I had at the start. Even during those first two unofficial meetings when I was still in initiation. I waited all of two weeks before I requested to talk to all the Bryant brothers about the stunt my parents pulled and what they suggested. Two days after that I had another unofficial meeting, this time with just Nate and Max.
That was about the time that Erudite put a motion forward during a meeting, requesting to have Dauntless provide three units to be transferred and stationed to their sector on a permanent basis. Meaning they would live and work there and be technically under Erudite command. That was shot down almost immediately for two reasons. The first reason was that we, Dauntless, honestly do not have the manpower to spare. We're already strained to our limits covering the areas we do as well as keeping guards on permanent stations along our cities borders. The second reason was that Marcus Eaton has a well-known dislike of Erudite and tends to try and get anything they request dismissed and in this case, it was easily voted down.
I knew my parents weren't happy I picked Dauntless and I probably made them look bad to their friends, so I thought this might be an attempt at getting me back there. It turned out I was mostly wrong. They knew the proposal had a larger possibility of being denied than it did being accepted, but on the off chance it wasn't, they would pull strings to make sure I was the one sent to Erudite.
Their real goal, however, was the counter-proposal of being allowed to create their own security with one or two Dauntless to help properly train the chosen Erudite. Their reasoning for this was the increased amount of thefts from their sector by factionless. Since they had sufficient evidence to prove the need for this and proposed a reasonable compromise to the initial request, it was approved.
Only the three of us knew that there was another reason for forming the group and Max granted my request to use my parent's connection to investigate our theories, which has been slow going.
After passing initiation and ranking second place I was offered one of the spots for the leadership track which has required training of it's own to be completed before anything else. I busted my ass and pulled double shifts to get done what I needed to get done in order for me to start working on earning a spot as a junior leader, and hopefully, that will lead to me getting a position as a senior leader when one becomes available.
My becoming a leader is a large part of what's been holding up my progress in taking Erudite down. I've had to gain trust and prove that I can be a worthwhile ally for them and my lack of a senior leader position has halted that somewhat until recently.
That brings me to now and my current report.
"I believe that I've made progress in gaining their trust after the most recent proposal was accepted by the council that can help further their plans in creating their 'security team'. I informed them of the requirements for me to gain a senior leadership position is to have one or several successful projects that help the faction in some fashion. I advised them I had an idea for one that would help me gain that position while also helping to achieve the primary Erudite goal." I state before I pass out the relevant documentation regarding this newest change in the city.
"They were running into issues being able to find enough suitable candidates for their security forces that are already members and were turning to those who are due to choose within the next year or so and not finding their options much better, at least not by Dauntless standards." "My suggestion was that we could go ahead and start training with the members who are suitable enough to meet our immediate needs then expand the search through all factions. I was able to give them a timeline and plan that will have to be taken in stages and with the first of those plans being easily put into action I was able to gain even more of their trust."
"So they truly believe that mandating physical education courses run by Dauntless will give them the candidates they want?" Harrison asks me, alternating between looking over the paper and at me.
"I've managed to convince them it will increase the physical suitability at the very least and there is data to support that theory. Erudite already hosts several clubs through the school that are sports-oriented but attendance is smaller than it could be and is mostly just the Erudite who know about it and are interested in those types of things. There have been the stray Dauntless and Candor who have been accepted but those are rare. It was easy for me to point out that the majority of dependents who take part in those types of activities generally have transferred to Dauntless when their time came, by offering them another option they could prevent that."
In this room, it didn't need to be said that none of us had any intention of ever letting that happen. It also didn't need to be said outside of this room that the only people we planned on benefiting in that respect was ourselves, Dauntless. Everything I stated is true. The people that take those kinds of opportunities usually end up coming here. By making physical education a mandate we just might increase the number of transfers even more. I just used that truth and allowed the group in Erudite to think my real motivation is to give them, and me by default, their army.
"I see that you've added our choices for instructors that we discussed prior to presenting this to them but I also see some other things added that weren't there before. What are these possible additions to the curriculum mentioned in their debriefing?"
"Actually, I believe I can answer that since I was the one that suggested Eric might want to include them. We all know that we are using this as a method to put a stop to Erudite's plans but there's no reason we can't use it to our advantage as well and get things put into place that will help us in the long run. Physical education being required is a great first step but that won't necessarily motivate kids to go Dauntless without further incentives. I thought back to how my parents kept six children motivated to keep in shape and compared that to things we already do here and came up with a few suggestions."
"Do you have a list of these?" Max asked with definite interest and an almost knowing look in his eyes.
"We wanted to go over them before I presented Erudite with them to throw their weight behind the curriculum proposal."
"Good idea," Clarence grunted then waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "One we can address later. For now, what progress have you made in finding out how high up the chain this thing goes."
"The highest I can get proof of links a brother-in-law for the Department of R&R being involved. None of the advisors closest to the leaders or the leaders themselves can be proven to be involved in this other than maybe having made a comment or another that might seem supportive. Despite that, I know that Jeanine Matthews is at least an instigator but proving that would be next to impossible."
I hear grunts of disgust and nod my head while Nate mutters darkly before sighing and shrugging. "As I said at the beginning of this, we shouldn't get our hopes up about tagging her. She's always in the middle of things but can never be pinned down with anything other than voicing her opinions, which isn't illegal. But that's how she gets things done, she'll drop a comment here or suggestion there and people fall over themselves to do whatever it takes to get in her good graces and make her happy."
I only nod in agreement, because this is exactly what's going on with my parents right now. They are doing everything they can to get into her inner circle. This brings me to the next bit of information I've been able to obtain.
"That's exactly what I need to report about next. During the last meeting with my parents, they made a few comments that concerned me about building data regarding the divergent threat. Apparently, Jeanine has been overheard voicing concern and not being able to make a case regarding that without something to present to the council to prove the theory correct. That's not the first time I've heard the complaint but I believed nothing would be done about it until after they had at least gotten a security team together but I was wrong."
I point to the other files I handed them earlier. "Those are the documents I was able to secure after accessing my parent's personal files. They are already running tests of Erudite subjects under different guises but they seem to be targeting the school-age children the most. Since it isn't unusual for kids to be given multiple tests each school year, replacing one of the existing ones with another one will most likely go unnoticed. They have a target list of those they are most interested in subjecting to these tests. In addition, I believe my parents are doing their own off the books tests and experiments. I didn't have the resources to crack the file, but I found one that I'm pretty sure would be the data from those."
"Alright," Max says after a pregnant pause while everyone digested this information. "We need to make some plans about how to handle this new development. We've been careful to in limiting knowledge of the operation inside and outside of the faction but this will require broadening it. We need to make sure to do this by the book and document everything as well as bringing in others we trust outside of the factions. Nate, can we count on Gideon and Selene to help on the front with Erudite?"
"Of course," He replies firmly.
"Clarence, what about Amity?"
"Johanna would be the best one to go to but it might require more to convince her to take a hard stance. If we could find out more regarding those experiments and what it involves...that might get her on board."
Max nodded gravely and looked over at Victoria next. "What about Candor?"
"Jack would be the best one to approach but he will also be the hardest to convince. He would say that an investigation of that magnitude and with the potential ramifications needs hard proof and not just circumstantial or hearsay. What we've already been able to gather so far will go a long way to getting him to at least hear us out fairly."
"Harrison?" Max calls the oldest member of the five leaders and doesn't even need to voice the question before the older man harumphs then sighs.
"Abnegation is going to be a nightmare to deal with, Max. Letting Marcus Eaton anywhere near this would be a monumental mistake and might just be the advent that brings on the civil unrest we are worried about. If he gets anywhere near this he will turn it into an all-out war against Erudite, one that we can't afford nor do we need. The problem is there is no way to do what will need to be done without bringing Abnegation into things and that will mean he will too."
His admission was something that's been on my mind and I had been kicking around an idea but I'm not sure how well it will go over with one of the people involved.
"Unless a way can be found to muzzle him before then." The words slip out before I really allow myself to think about them. All heads turn to me and Max looks at me quizzically then motions me to continue. "There was a certain rumor about Marcus Eaton that I know everyone here knows is actually true. If he could be convinced to come forward and substantiate those rumors it could work in our favor. We could just use that to make Marcus go along with things but I would suggest getting him removed from his position for abuse of power. There's no way he didn't use his position to hide his abuse of his son not to mention the questionable death of his wife. His removal might allow someone else a bit more reasonable to step in although I don't know who it would be."
"Andrew Prior," Nate responds while rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "He's not exactly pleasant, has a real holier than thou thing going on but he also is very honest and intelligent. There have been things he's stepped forward to get passed through that Marcus was very vocally opposed to, like the care centers."
"I don't care for him myself either, but when it matters he usually can be counted on to stand up for what's right and better for the city instead of cowering to Marcus." Max agrees. "That being said I won't force the boy to bring charges against his father but I can agree that someone should address the issue with him. Maybe tell him how it will help not only Dauntless but the city as well."
I see a few of them glance at me as Nate smirks at me and I shake my head vehemently. "It would be a very bad idea for me to try and talk to him about this. Four and I have put our differences aside but there's still some bitterness from our initiation. The fact that I used his situation with his father against him in our fight will still be fresh in his mind. If anyone would be able to get through to him it would be Amar. That's who he really looks up to and is closest to here."
"Alright, I'll make a note to talk to Amar about that when I talk to him about heading up the group who are going to be teachers of the physical education department of the school. Nate and Eric, I want you to get with him as well to go over the curriculum we want to see introduced there. Clarence, we need to come up with something that can get Eric access to those files. That needs to be a priority in order for us to know what we're up against and to get the other factions on board."
"Copy," Nate confirms while I nod and Clarence grunts in agreement.
"I think about covers things for now unless anyone can think of anything else?" Max asks while looking around the table. Seeing no one has anything to add he dismisses the meeting.
Nate gets up and walks around to me and pauses long enough to quietly pass a final message. "Dinner in my apartment, I'll pass the word to the others."
"I'll be there," I assure him, knowing without having to ask what the subject will be at the dinner tonight. I knew how he would react when he saw the list of people that Erudite, specifically my parents, compiled of people they want to conduct tests and experiments on, especially the top two names on it. When I saw I had been hard-pressed not to give myself away.
My only consolation in restraining myself was the knowledge that I would make every last bastard pay for even thinking about laying a finger on either of the youngest Bryant children. Seeing those names...seeing her name...and imagining any harm being done did something to me. It wounded me deeply. It also drove away any of the small vestiges of feeling for the people who brought me into this world. As far as I am concerned Steven and Patricia Coulter are just two people who happen to have the same last name as I do.
That fact won't stop me from making sure they face justice for any crimes they commit...but if they harm Sylvan and Elijah...I'll make sure I'm the one delivering that justice to them personally.
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when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 6
pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki)
genre: fluff, angst | abo au, canon-compliant
warnings: swearing, trans male character, mild canon-typical violence, mentioned child abuse, implied non-con, misgendering, endeavor
word count: 4118
summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things.
chapter six of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever
"If you're here to give me some sympathetic speech or some shit, I will kill you, Pinkie," Katsuki spits over his shoulder.
"Eh?" Pinkie startles, scrambling to compose herself as Katsuki turns to look at her. "I have no idea what you mean."
Katsuki narrows his eyes at the way she nervously scratches the back of her head, her smile much too wide to be genuine. Pinkie scuffs the toe of her shoe against the floor, her arms dropping to her sides so she can play with the ends of her school jacket. Her scent is as sweet as any other omega’s but there is a sour aftertaste to it that makes Katsuki wrinkle his nose in distaste.
"What the fuck do you want? I have places to be," Katsuki says as he crosses his arms over his chest.
He doesn’t know anything past a few of his classmates’ quirks, much too busy with bettering himself and challenging his mates to give a shit about anyone else. Shitty Hair and Pikachu are showing some potential since they have enough of a backbone to socialize normally with him instead of fearfully or putting him on a pedestal. Most of the others will be unimportant to his story in the long run and Katsuki isn’t usually the type to write people off so soon, but Pinkie herself hasn’t impressed him in the least.
“I just um-” Pinkie flushes, fingers twining together nervously. “All the girls wanted to thank you.”
Katsuki frowns, suddenly confused. As far as he knows, none of the girls want to be within two feet of him. He has no idea why they would want to thank him for something.
The only thing he can think of that would be spoken about is the Perverted Grape incident that happened earlier that day. Katsuki is waiting for Deku to finish talking to Glasses, Todoroki already having left a few minutes before. He wants to go to Deku’s and gorge himself on Auntie Inko’s cooking while he avoids going home where his mom will scream for blood and his dad will flutter nervously around him for the rest of the weekend. He already had Glasses, Hundred Arms, and Shitty Hair try to comfort him in their own shitty ways about Perverted Grape, he doesn’t need any more of this crap today.
“What the fuck is this about?” Katsuki asks, glaring down at Pinkie. “You have five seconds to speak or I’m walking away. One.”
“Thankyouforgettingridofmineta!” Pinkie shouts, bowing at the waist once before she runs away.
Katsuki scoffs as he watches her leave. “As if I did it for any of you.”
“Did what, Kacchan?” Deku’s voice pipes up behind him.
“Nothing, you shit nerd. Let’s go already,” Katsuki grumbles, barely even reacting to Deku’s sudden appearance.
His alpha’s scent is more familiar to him than his own so if Deku really wants to startle him, he is going to have to work harder than that.
Katsuki takes Deku’s hand and leads the way towards the train station, already imagining all the dishes his Auntie Inko will prepare. Deku follows behind him quietly, not having to say a word for Katsuki to understand his alpha will always support him.
The sports festival is turning out to be fucking boring.
Katsuki delivered his "speech" before the first challenge began, which was really just him pointing out a fact by stating that he and his mates were going to mop the floor with all of them. No need for everyone to get their fucking panties in a twist at the truth.
They had taken one look at the mouth of the tunnel before both his mates grabbed hold of Katsuki’s arms and held on tight as he shot them over the other students piling up beneath them. Many yells and shouts had followed them but Deku only whooped as they came out of the other side and got their first glimpse of the obstacle course prepared for them.
The zero pointers from the entrance exam rose up to greet them but Todoroki froze one and Katsuki blew up the one beside it at Deku’s request. Deku had grabbed a stray piece of the now broken robot as they flew over it while Todoroki directed ice back at the other students to cut their competition in half. At the pit, Todoroki made more ice to make them a path straight across and Katsuki used more of his blasts to ski them over the pit in no time at all.
By that point Katsuki and Todoroki had practically ruined the obstacle course as they held Deku between them, all three of them keeping first place easily. Then Deku had pulled himself away from them at the third obstacle, dropping onto his knees to dig at the edges of the landmine before Katsuki got the memo. Together, they dug up the explosives and put them in a pile together.
Todoroki had just enough time to grab Deku's shirt and Katsuki climbed onto his alpha's back as Deku held up the piece of the robot that he had nabbed earlier. His alpha then slammed it into the explosives and all three of them were thrown into the air, sliding past the finish line easily and more importantly, together.
The second challenge hasn't been that big of a challenge either actually. Katsuki grudgingly allows Round Face to join their team after Deku brings up his plan and when the countdown begins, Todoroki makes ice appear in a circle around them while Round Face slaps her hands on the backs of Katsuki’s mates before pressing her fingertips together with a determined look in her eyes. Katsuki settles Deku on his shoulders and waits until Todoroki and Uraraka have grabbed hold of his alpha’s arms to shoot them up in the sky. More yells and shouting follows them but Katsuki ignores it. He knows they are not breaking the rules through anything but a technicality and while last year, he would be enraged about using such a cheap tactic to win, now he only cares to shield his mates from any harm that may befall them.
Despite the lack of a real fight, their team is doing exceptionally well by staying out of other students’ grasps. The only time anyone gets near enough to almost ripping the headband worth a million points off Deku's head, Todoroki's left side erupts with the barest lick of flames before his ice overcomes some random girl’s vines. Katsuki felt the almost unbearable heat of Todoroki’s fire tease the back of his hand as he prepared himself to power off an explosion and can't help the sharp intake of breath that he takes through his teeth at that moment.
Which is why he is only slightly surprised when Todoroki asks him and Deku for a word in private during the lunch break. Once the break is over, all the stupid extras will then ready themselves for the games UA's staff has prepared for the losers who didn't make it to the final round so technically, they have a longer break than most. Katsuki exchanges a not-so-subtle glance with his alpha before he nods and allows Todoroki to lead the way.
As soon as they are alone, Todoroki tells them his life story.
All of it.
The quirk marriage. The forced mate bond. The breeding. The training he began at age four. His mother losing her grip on sanity. The isolation from his siblings and peers alike. The abuse he has withstood ever since then. The resentment and anger Todoroki has carried for countless years. The determination to never use the quirk he inherited from his father.
Every single, excruciating detail has Katsuki's blood boiling and his hackles rising. His body calls for blood, the need to defend and fight and tear limbs apart almost overcomes him.
He doesn’t understand how a parent can look at the life they helped bring into this world and not want to protect them with all their power. Deku has an idea if his claim of not being All Might’s secret love child can be believed, but Katsuki has never faced that misfortune. Not even his coming out impacted the relationship he had with his parents much - not in the way that most would expect anyway. Katsuki does not understand and he never will but he does understand that what both his mates’ fathers have done and are doing now is wrong.
Wrong and awful and horrible. Downright evil in Todoroki’s case. That is more than enough to warrant Katsuki’s bloodlust. He’s sure his parents would understand why he murdered the Number Two Hero anyway. Auntie Inko most definitely would. Hell, probably Yagi-san too, especially considering the way he dotes on Deku.
Regardless, Katsuki has already made up his mind.
"I am going to fucking kill him," Katsuki spits out between clenched teeth, his hands smoking and curled into tight fists at his sides. "No, no. I am going to destroy him! I'm gonna rip off his balls and feed them to him! I'm gonna hold my hands over his skin and see how well he likes getting burned!"
Katsuki continues, his methods of torture growing more grotesque and painful as he does, all while ignoring the surprised and somewhat wary look on Todoroki's face. Deku is silent beside him, but his scent tells Katsuki enough.
Their alpha is angry.
Deku is trembling, his eyes flashing gold and hands curled into fists as well. The air around them reeks of ozone and Katsuki feels the ridiculous urge to sneeze. Todoroki’s gaze keeps flickering between the two of them, unsure of who needs his attention more: his alpha who is rapidly losing his grip on his control or his omega who is ranting about every which way he will harm his father.
"Aren't you going to tell me that killing is bad and I don't know what other fucking nonsense you preach and shit?" Katsuki asks when Deku's scent sours enough to bother him. "I'm gonna murder the Number Two Hero, you fucking nerd. Shouldn't you stop me?"
Say something, Katsuki doesn’t plead aloud. Say you agree. Say you’re with us, no matter what.
Deku tenses all at once then sighs, his body going lax as he closes his eyes and leans his head back on the wall behind him. "If it was anybody else, literally anybody else, I would say yes."
Katsuki smirks, the edges of it sharp enough to cut. "But?"
"Not in this case," Deku finally says, his scent still angry and now frustrated.
"I am fully capable of killing that bastard, you know," Katsuki continues, eyes flickering between both of his mates. "I could go and murder him right now and I would be glad to be thrown into jail for it. My parents would probably throw a fucking party."
Todoroki looks at him like he's insane, but Katsuki ignores him. He focuses on Deku instead, watching the corners of his mouth twitch with a smile, the sour anger in his scent slowly starting to bleed away.
"I know, Kacchan," Deku agrees, opening his eyes which have now returned to their normal color and leaving Katsuki horrified as they start to water.
Katsuki bites his lip, looking back at Todoroki again who is staring open-mouthed at Deku in shock. "Do you want me to?"
He means it as a question for them both but it is Deku who answers. "Yes, but you shouldn't. People would paint you as a villain and that's not who you are, Kacchan.”
“Shut the fuck up, Deku,” Katsuki bites back but there is a smile on his face and no heat in his words.
“Okay,” Deku replies with a tired smile.
Katsuki pivots to stare at Todoroki, pinning his beta with his gaze alone. “And you, you bastard, come here!”
“Are you going to kill me?” Todoroki asks as he stands up straight, his spine probably in pain due to how quickly he came to attention.
Katsuki's grin turns sharp once more. “If you Order me again, then yes, but just get your ass over here already! ”
“Wait, you Ordered Kacchan?” Deku asks, head swiveling between them both in confusion.
"Twice, the fucking shithead!” Katsuki admits.
Deku's eyes turn flinty before they soften once more. "You must have a death wish, Todoroki-kun. Please, don't ever do that again."
Katsuki huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at his alpha. "I don't need you to defend me, fucking Deku!"
"I know," Deku murmurs, "but sometimes, you want me to and I don't really appreciate the fact that someone would Order you, even if he's our mate, Kacchan. Todoroki-kun, seriously, don't do that again."
"Shut up, Deku," Katsuki spits out at the same time that Todoroki says, "I won't Order you again, Bakugou-kun."
"Good," Deku huffs as Katsuki moves closer until he can sling an arm over his alpha and tuck him into his side. "Now get over here. We're going to scent you so your father knows he'll have plenty of things to explain the next time I smell him on you."
Katsuki nods sagely. "Deku will destroy him."
"Why would he do that?" Todoroki looks at Deku like he can't imagine the alpha going toe-to-toe with his dipshit of a dad, but Katsuki knows better. And Todoroki should know better too after what happened the week before in the locker room's bathroom.
"Because you're our mate, you fucking bastard," Katsuki growls, reaching out and grabbing hold of Todoroki's arm before he drags him closer. "We'll end anyone who fucking hurts you. You're mine now and I don't like it when people touch my things. I beat the shit out of anybody who dared to lay a hand on my alpha and I'll beat the shit out of anyone who hurts my beta too."
Deku smiles at Todoroki from underneath his arm, his scent calmer and steady like before. "Don't worry about it, Todoroki-kun. Kacchan is just really overprotective. You'll grow used to it."
Todoroki is stiff underneath Katsuki's hand, but, slowly, he starts to relax as well. He leans into Katsuki's side and lays his two-toned head against Katsuki's shoulder. On his other side, Deku does the same, mirroring their mate. They stand there for a moment, huddled up in each other's warmth as they allow their scents to slide across one another, mingling and intermixing. Katsuki is certain that no one is going to speak for some time yet, so he's slightly surprised when Deku does.
“Your quirk is your own, Todoroki-kun.”
“Hm?” Todoroki hums in response, his head shifting against Katsuki’s shoulder.
Deku leans forward until even Katsuki is having difficulties keeping his eyes on them. “Your fire is your own. Everyone else here is using a hundred percent of what they’ve got to make it. It would be wrong of you to do this with only half.”
Todoroki stills in Katsuki’s embrace, expression shifting until his face is blank once more. Katsuki can physically see all the walls Todoroki is putting up again and he cannot have that.
“We can talk about that later, you little shits,” Katsuki cuts in. “Deku, seriously not the fucking time.”
His beta’s scent pulses for one short breath before it calms, Deku oblivious to it all as he starts to say, “Todoroki-kun should work with a hundred percent of what he has too, Kacchan! Otherwise-”
"Shouto."
"Huh?" Deku asks, like a fucking idiot as if Todoroki's intentions aren't clear enough.
Todoroki only blinks at him though, his scent still remaining calm and focused. "You can both call me Shouto."
Deku brightens considerably, his smile like the sun breaking through a heavy layer of overcast while he pushes the quirk issue off to the side for now. "Ah, well you can call me Izuku and Kacchan Katsuki!"
"No, he can't," Katsuki scowls.
"Yes, he can," Deku replies instantly, his smile never faltering. "Go sulk another time, this is loving and supporting our mate hours right now!"
Katsuki can't help the startled laughter that escapes him, but he lets it run its course when Deku only brightens even further at the sound and Todoroki relaxes against him again. "Shut the fuck up, Deku. That meme is as old as balls."
Deku's grin only grows bigger, the edges curving dangerously but he says nothing and wraps his arms around Katsuki's waist. Todoroki too settles further into their warmth, his scent now laced with a dash of content.
From the corner of his eye, Katsuki can see the hint of a smile on his beta's face. The sight alone does weird things to his heart that he promptly ignores in favor of enjoying the company of his mates.
Deku and he run into Endeavor before starting their second fight in the third challenge and Katsuki wonders how the Flaming Piece of Shit got out of there alive.
Considering that All Might was also present, Katsuki is doubly confused about how Endeavor is still breathing.
“Come on,” Katsuki spits as he drags Deku out the door. “Fuck everything else and focus on this stupid match. If you let your quirk break you again, dipshit, I’m taking our beta in the divorce.”
Katsuki isn’t happy at all about the team matches but considering that there are many mated students in the sixteen contestants left for the third challenge, he supposed that it made some lick of sense. Not that he’s going to admit that out loud anyway.
Deku laughs, following behind Katsuki willingly, but his smile dies as they round the corner and run into the last person either of them wanted to see.
They have seen the Number Two Hero plenty of times on television and social media. Katsuki thought he was pretty average looking when he was younger but at that moment he is ugly beyond belief. His facial hair is made up completely of fire and spare bits of it run through his hair. He is tall and in his hero suit but there is nothing about him that shows he is a hero in Katsuki’s eyes.
Instead of the mild admiration Katsuki used to feel for this man, all he can focus on is the hate and rage that’s building up quickly within him.
“So you’re the alpha who’s staked a claim on my son,” Endeavor says like he never expected anybody to try and interfere with the plans he had forced upon his child’s shoulders.
Katsuki bares his teeth at him, forcing himself to stay silent. Endeavor’s eyes linger on Deku’s arm where he is grabbing hold of his alpha. His gaze flickers to Katsuki briefly, looking him up and down as if he is a piece of meat being put on display at the market before he focuses back on Deku. Katsuki can’t help the cold disgust that rolls down his spine when the Flaming Piece of Shit’s eyes are no longer on him. Deku shifts beside him in response, subtly putting himself in front of Katsuki to shield him from view.
“And you’re Shouto’s father,” Deku points out, the anger in his voice plain for anyone to hear.
Endeavor’s brows raise up for a moment before his face settles back into its usual scowl. “Your omega. She’ll do fine but if you don’t prove you are the best alpha around, neither of you get to have him.”
Deku growls and the overbearing scent of ozone fills up the hallway. Katsuki holds onto his alpha tighter while allowing his lips to curl back and make his snarl look more aggressive.
“You don’t decide that for him,” Deku snaps. “And don’t refer to Kacchan as a girl. He will rip out your tongue for such disrespect.”
Endeavor’s gaze flicks back towards Katsuki at this and Katsuki snaps his teeth at him, wanting nothing more than to do just that.
Shouto had told them about all the awful crap his father had done but this - what he just said - takes the fucking cake. Katsuki wants to let go of his alpha and watch him tear into this arrogant beta until there is nothing recognizable left. He doesn’t though because he isn’t stupid and the only person allowed to go to jail is him, but the idea itself is still very tempting.
Fortunately, Yagi-san’s smell rises up behind them announcing his presence. Katsuki doesn’t look back to see his arrival, not trusting Endeavor enough to take his eyes off him but he does smell it when Yagi-san realizes what is going on. It would have been difficult not to, considering Deku is sending out angry and agitated alpha pheromones for everyone in the entire building to smell. Even the lowliest beta with the worst sense of smell would be able to tell that Katsuki’s alpha is in distress.
Within two seconds, Katsuki is facing the broad back of the Number One Hero. All Might is in the shifted form he uses for public appearances and has his arms extended by his sides in a way that appears natural but effectively blocks them both. The fact he did this in a way that did not draw any attention to them at all is only another reason why Katsuki immediately begins to calm down when All Might appeared.
“Endeavor, what are you doing to my students?” All Might rumbles, acting as if he had not stumbled over the end of his question.
Katsuki can no longer see the expression on Endeavor’s face but he can hazard a guess about it well enough. “Wishing them luck.”
All Might’s stance doesn’t relax in the least. “Then you may go now. These two are due for their match soon.”
Endeavor merely huffs and walks away then. All Might doesn’t move from his stance until the other man is no longer nearby. He turns and smiles at them, dropping a hand on both their shoulders when the coast is clear. Katsuki allows it, his anger still pulsing dangerously within him even if he knew they are safe with All Might now present but it is dying down nevertheless.
“What happened?” All Might asks, his blue eyes glinting dangerously under the hallway halogens.
Katsuki tells him. He keeps quiet about what their mate had told them earlier that day because it isn’t any of his business to share until his beta is ready to get help, but he holds nothing back about the conversation they just had with the Flaming Piece of Shit. All Might’s eyes turn almost black with the force of his anger, more ozone joining the air around them.
(And Deku had seriously thought Katsuki wasn’t going to assume that Yagi-san was his dad?)
“He won’t bother you again. You have my word,” All Might vows. “Now run along. Your match is starting within the next three minutes.”
They both nod and are rewarded with pats to their heads. Yagi-san then steps to the side so he is no longer blocking the path and Katsuki drags his alpha away before Deku can add more fire to the fuel.
Katsuki and Shouto share first place, Deku taking second and Emo Birdbrain taking third.
He would consider it a loss any other time, but considering all the crap Shouto has been put through and shared with them today, Katsuki just rolls with it.
(And no, he does not miss the fact that All Might hugs his alpha just a little too long to be normal after he drapes their medals over their heads during the awards ceremony. Going by Shouto’s thoughtful hum beside him, their beta doesn’t miss it either. That conversation should be fun.)
Later, he still takes pleasure in burning and blowing up all of his and Deku's Endeavor merchandise.
He takes greater pleasure in watching Shouto try and keep a straight face as Katsuki blatantly flirts with him when they get ice cream the next day. Deku's flirting is a lot more subtle but they both relish at the sight of Shouto's flushing, blank face over a banana split.
Of course, not all good things last. Katsuki had learned this fact early on in life.
He knows it isn't true when people say that the only way is up. Life isn't that easy and it has never been especially kind to Katsuki of all people. He doesn't mind that fact. He understands that is just how things work and that it is the way of life no matter how much he may wish it not to be. It's just how things are and he gets that.
He just didn't expect the rug to be pulled out from under his feet so soon is all.
a/n: sorry for the wait! i hope that you all liked this though (: thanks for reading!
#todobakudeku#bakudeku#todobaku#tododeku#bakugou x midoriya x todoroki#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#chaptered#f:bnha#g:angst#g:fluff#t:chaptered#p:ot3#p:bakugou/midoriya/todoroki#wifttsf#m: fic
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Carajillo
SUMMARY: Some things are truly set in stone. After the tension arises in the Devildom and Celestial Realm, the human is called back to attend a summit.
TW: Mention of Rape
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
BARBATOS: september 21st, 5:21 a.m.
It is a rather simple process. The coffee beans only take thirty-two seconds to grind, the water requires five to ten minutes to boil, and the coffee requires four minutes and eleven seconds to steep. It is seven seconds to fetch a glass, twelve seconds to place the cubes of ice from the ice box into the glass, and one minute to pour the liqueur into the glass. Once the coffee has finished steeping in the french press, it takes twenty-two seconds to finish the process of pouring the coffee into the glass.
I know this. I know each and every ingredient to make carajillo, as she had called it. I have memorized every possible method of brewing and melding the properties of the cocktail together, and I have recorded every possible outcome from each process. I know the exact measurements of each ingredient, the most viable temperature for the cocktail, and the notes present in the drink.
I know these things, and yet I still manage to make too much each time.
It is a side effect of her death, I would imagine. Six hundred and sixteen days have passed since the time of her expiration. Fourteen thousand and seven hundred eighty-four hours. Eight hundred eighty-seven thousand forty minutes. It is also known as a total of fifty-three million, two hundred twenty-two thousand, and four hundred seconds -- most of which I have used to silently mourn. Half of which I have used to berate myself, the incessant questions plaguing me in all hours of the night.
How long had she known of her fate? How long had she suffered? I ask myself. Had I tried one more time -- effectively placing us in the eighty-seventh cycle of the events -- would she have lived?
Worse, I wonder if she detests me for committing such acts on her. With her.
The outcomes had carried the same characteristics throughout the course of the cycles, albeit with small variations. A strangling by the stairs, the marks around her neck black and blue from the force of the assault. A stabbing outside of her own room, her hands still pressed to the wound as she had tried to get help. A deadly fall from the top of the stairs, her body crumpled in a broken pile at the bottom. The forced ingestion of poison, the evidence of a struggle seen in the aftermath. Then I had found her body stuffed into a chest in a storage closet, a trail of blood leading to the gruesome scene, and something inside me had snapped.
But there is no benefit to contemplating the consequences of my actions now. All the anguish and sorrow in the world would not bring her back. The regret would leave my heart heavy for the next millenia, and then I would have to forget. I would force myself to forget, regardless of circumstances. I had been lucky to avoid a revelation on Lord Diavolo’s part, to avoid the punishment that would surely come with using my abilities in such a manner. A millennia would be enough to mourn the loss.
I take the glass with me to a seating area by the window. While the diminutive nature of the kitchen forces a rather unconventional use of the space, I find the set up to be rather charming. Cozy, as one would call it. The seating area has been nearly built into the window, allowing its user to overlook a portion of the labyrinthine garden, and the table has been graciously donated to the space as an afterthought. I begin to raise the glass to my lips.
“Isn’t it a little early to be drinking something like that?” asks a voice.
Her voice.
But it can’t be her, I realize with a start. She’s --
Maria slips into the space across from me, playfully drumming her fingers against the table. “It’s a shame you didn’t wait for me,” she teases, a smile pulling at her lips. Her eyes flicker briefly to the cocktail in front of me. “I would have loved to have tried it together for the first time.”
What are you doing here? I want to ask, staring unabashedly at what must be a figment of my own imagination. Why are you here? How did you get here? Is this some cruel part of my mind playing tricks on me?
“You’re dead,” I manage.
“I am.”
I lower the glass back onto the table, not quite trusting myself not to drop it. “Are you --”
“Real?” she finishes for me. Maria reaches over and traces her small fingers against the back of my hands, pressing lightly, and the contact is as solid as it had been when she was alive. Albeit much colder. “Of course I am. Does that answer your question?”
“Not quite,” I respond, struggling to control the tone of my voice. “I would like -- no, I need more answers.”
Maria is quiet for a moment, regarding me -- and then she sighs, sinking into herself. “I was lost for a long time. A really, really long time. I don’t know if it was because I died down here or because I wasn’t allowed up there for -- for doing that, but I couldn’t remember who I was. I didn’t know where I was.” She presses a hand to her face, as if she were trying to subconsciously suppress a painful memory. “But then someone called me by my name, and I remembered. Ended up here. I think it was you, now that I think about it.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Well, time doesn’t really work that way when you’re dead,” she says, reading my meaning. Her finger idles with the edge of the glass. “It’s -- it’s harder to think when you’re dead. To keep time stick-straight and linear.”
Silence settles between us. The light of the false moon almost filters through her form, the composition shifting between that of a translucent nature and one that appears more solid. Dark, unruly curls frame the soft angles of her face, making her appear almost pitiful, and her frail shoulders are visible at times through the phantom blouse. Revealing the olive tone of her skin beneath. My eyes begin to trail her form, and I study the shape, looking for any indication that this apparition before me is not the human I had foolishly come to cherish. That this is only part of some horrible, conjured image. I find no such sign. Her dark gaze meets mine briefly, holding it for a moment -- but she looks away quickly, biting her lip.
Despite everything that I have seen of her, I feel inclined to be ashamed.
“Where will you go?” I say, attempting to distract both her and myself from the blunder. “It isn’t uncommon for spirits to wander to such a deep level of the Devildom, but you can’t stay here.”
She blinks. “I’m sorry?”
“They’ll eat you alive here. Devour you. Tear you apart. In limbo, where you were before, nothing lives or dies -- but such rules do not apply here.” I level my gaze with hers, trying to suppress the emotion in my voice. “If you perish a second time, there will be nothing of you left.”
“And if I don’t want to leave?” she ventures.
I pause, wordless. Unsure of how to answer. She should hate me. She should detest me with every fiber of her being, given the things that I have done to her. I had taken her innocence in every way possible. I had forced her through the ordeal again and again, unable to fathom the consequences such traumatic experiences could have on her psyche. I had used her for my own selfish means, simply believing that keeping her alive would make the both of us happy. I could not accept the reality of her death, rejecting the very idea -- and in turn I had brought unimaginable suffering onto one I had come to cherish. One I had truly, hopelessly come to love, twisting the concept just as a demon would.
“I’m sorry.” I cannot bring myself to look at her, the guilt swallowing my conscience. “I --”
“The Celestial Realm is on the brink of war,” she says, her voice suddenly on the other side of the room. I lift my head to see that she is making carajillo with the leftover coffee and the liqueur I have left on the counter. Her rough measurements are evident in the color and aroma of the cocktail. “While I may have avoided becoming a martyr, it appears that a coup d’etat has already been staged. If little action is taken, Lord Diavolo will have a much more significant disaster on his hands. That’s why I came here.”
To be corrupted, I realize, gazing upon her ethereal form. She came to me to be corrupted into a demon.
Her eyes are sharp. Determined. “Will you?”
Even death has not changed her. She is still that bullheaded, stubborn mule of a human. Difficult, as always. Hopelessly infuriating. Willing to use the sheer force of her will to deny death its cold clutches. I find myself almost smiling at the fact, a mixture of both trapped grief and inexorable joy coming to the surface. The silent forgiveness is nothing short of jarring, the unspoken words speaking at a greater volume. Maria smiles back, lifting her glass in a strange sort of truce. I move to stand by her side, meeting the edge of her glass with mine, and take the first sip of the drink together with her.
It will take a millennia to truly beg for her forgiveness. A millennia to atone for the acts I had committed, the suffering I had inflicted upon her. And then it will take a millennia more to earn all that I had needlessly thrown to the fire. War or not, conflict or ceasefire, I find that I am completely willing to do so. I would prostrate myself before her for the end of time, if she so desired.
I find that the taste is truly all that she had said. Deeper than the blackest night. Warmer than a summer’s day. Sweeter than the parting kiss of a lover. Unforgettable in every manner possible.
END
#obey me#obey me barbatos#obey me oc#obey me shall we date#obey me fanfic#fanfic#writing#obey me oc x barbatos#tw rape#tw rape mention
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I want to know more about the zuko/ty lee friendship honestly
zuko understands that ty lee is objectively attractive. he understands this because many people he knows very well, some of whom he even respects a great deal, are extremely attracted to her. but he cannot comprehend it. he cannot for the life of him wrap his head around the fact that she can make boys fall at her feet just by winking at them. he is shocked to discover that when suki said “this is a rematch i’ve been waiting for,” it was because she was excited to fight her. he is shocked to hear suki, less than a week out of their escape from boiling rock, reprimand him for insulting her. it’s not a particularly insulting slight, either, but suki says “leave my wife alone!!” he assumes she’s being ironic, and while she is, less than a month later, he is shocked again to learn that they are now dating. he knows that ty lee is attractive. but what he does not understand, for the life of him, is how.
“but she’s hot, objectively speaking,” sokka tells him. “you get that, right?” he most definitely does not. he also doesn’t understand how she managed to beat uncle in pai sho when she was eight years old, when he has never even gotten close to beating uncle once in his life. he doesn’t understand how she managed to have azula wrapped around her finger when the only time he ever even had the slightest upper hand on azula was when she was in the midst of a nervous breakdown. he doesn’t understand how all ty lee had to do was peck mai on the cheek and she turned red from head to toe. and he especially doesn’t get why she seems to be genuinely concerned about his wellbeing. like…. what is that??? does she consider them….friends????
ty lee is the most confusing person zuko has ever met. unlike his sister, he has the good sense to be fucking terrified of her. every time she hugs him he is afraid, if only for a moment, that she knows some kind of technique where you poke someone on a specific spot on their spine a couple times and boom, they’re dead, and he’s afraid that maybe one day she’s going to apply this technique to him, flawlessly executing a coup she’s been planning from the age of the age of five (maybe, u dont know), and crown herself firelord.
ty lee can’t help but like zuko. it’s hard not to when she heard about how much of a pathetic, miserable failure he was from azula every day for years. zuko was a quiet kid whose only real flaw was not being suited to his environment. as someone who always felt slightly alienated wherever she went, ty lee cannot help but empathize––but unlike ty lee, zuko also clearly has no idea how to adapt. she likes zuko less after witnessing how he treats mai while they’re together, but again, she understands the situation zuko’s in, and so she does not begrudge him for it as much as she could, though she does make fun of zuko to mai as means of cheering her up after he unceremoniously dumps her via letter (and runs off to join the rebellion or whatever). she knows that he is too vulnerable as a rule, and that too many people in his life have taken advantage of this. she does not want to add to that list. she wants to keep him safe the way one wants to protect something defenseless, but she knows she cannot provide him with the tools to adapt, either; he couldn’t learn to, but more importantly, he shouldn’t.
ty lee and zuko never really hang out one on one, so they have a different rapport depending on who’s there to buffer it. with suki, which is a configuration that usually occurs while they’re acting as his guard, they just lightly tease zuko back and forth, which is actually pretty generous of them because it distracts him from thinking about why they’re there in the first place, which is to make sure he doesn’t get assassinated. mai, ty lee, and zuko is an odd configuration because they obviously all have a lot of history, and none of them wants to be the person to bring up azula, but with other people there it’s fine. and it gets less weird as time goes on, but they know that zuko has terrible memories associated with them outside of their control, and he knows that it’s not their faults that he has terrible memories associated with them.
zuko has never lied to azula, and therein their breach in (mis)understanding lies. he has no idea what ty lee’s intentions are, and he has a really hard time believing that she cares about him. but ty lee is capable of letting her guard down. for them to truly become friends, they would need to hang out individually, preferably while both really drunk because they both process everything they say through a million fuckin filters before actually getting to what they mean. but we’ve seen her slip, by accident, and on purpose, so though zuko has his guard up, i think eventually he could learn to trust her. the fact that mai, suki, and sokka vouch for her means a lot. toph admits that ty lee is so light on her toes she sort of looks like a fog to her, but that’s what makes her so intriguing. toph, suki, sokka, aang––they all think she’s great! (katara finds her just as inscrutable as zuko does.) and of course, mai loves her.
so once they do finally become friends, ty lee decides that maybe she can’t teach zuko how to be a chameleon, but maybe she can teach him some pai sho strategies? he still can’t beat sokka or uncle, but he does beat suki, once. (mai makes fun of her for it for days because zuko is notoriously bad at pai sho.) what’s more, he’s deeply offended by ty lee’s claim that she “doesn’t listen to music.” like…what even is that???? he spends half an hour procrastinating on tax reports by writing a list of music for ty lee to listen to with little notes for what mood she should be in before listening and categorizing them by tempo, genre, and feeling. she humbly accepts the list, understanding that he is being sincere and earnest right now, she doesn’t throw it away, but it does get buried under a pile of other documents on her desk that she will never ever read. the next time he asks her if she got around to listening to be the cowboy yet she’s just like “haha soon i promise!!”
one day, over brunch (ie, bottomless mimosas) katara and zuko realize that neither of them understands ty lee at all and they find it deeply confusing that all their other friends are so enamored with her. like, okay, her hair is bouncy and shiny, big deal, they also have great hair??? yeah, they do have great hair!!!! (they’re both seven mimosas in at this point.) and sure she can do flips in the air, but why does that make her adorable???? are they the only two people in the world who don’t think she’s hot??? …and then they realize that they may very well be the only two people in the world who don’t think she’s hot.
…………………..QED.
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My Plan
The absolute biggest thing to keep in mind through all of this is that this is NOT a diet! This is not temporary and painful. You’re not denying yourself things, don’t tell yourself you “can’t” have a thing. Keep in mind that these are smarter permanent choices that you’re making and every time you put something in your mouth, you’re making the decision that it’s “worth” the calories. The ONLY rule to weight loss is to burn more calories than you’re taking in, so you can adjust to whatever foods you need within moderation, don’t treat this as torture.
Also, DO NOT weigh or measure yourself AT ALL until after the sixth month. Take all measurements before you start and then avoid it until then. Daily/weekly/monthly progress fluctuates too much and muscle weighs more than fat per square inch, so do not focus on numbers; nothing will de-motivate you quicker. You’ll be able to tell things are changing by how you feel and how your clothes fit.
First Two Weeks:
-Make a list of all of the non-carby foods you like and won’t get sick of. There are many lists online to draw from. Don’t worry, you’re not cutting all of the things out now; but the list will be helpful later.
-Come up with three or four things you can make in bulk and freeze in baggies or containers (already cooked or ready to cook portions) for once weekly meal prep (helps when you’re busy or on the go - I use quiche/fritatta, chili, chicken stir fry, and pork chunks).
-Do the same listing bulk things for the fridge that you can grab for snacks instead of snack foods (I use tuna salad, crack slaw, cheeses, lunch meats, and hard boiled eggs).
-Cut out carbonated drinks. Even fat free, calorie, even sparkling water. It’s not about that; they are stretching out your stomach with their bubbles, and making more room in there to convince you that you need more food in there to be full.
-Cut back on sweets if you can. Have half of what you used to have.
-Switch to five scheduled meals a day, one of which is a protein shake. SCHEDULED is important. Set alarms and just spend this time getting into the groove of five smaller meals instead of three larger ones. Don’t worry too much about portions right now, however try not to ADD more food than what you’ve been eating, just spread out what you’d normally have for the three and make sure one of the five is a shake. Any shake you like that has more than 10 grams of protein per serving. That extra protein will curb your hunger and get your levels up for when you start working out (don’t panic, you can do this). Anyone on food stamps, be aware that if you’re getting your shake stuff on that, it has to be one that has a “nutritional facts” label, NOT a “supplements” label.
Second Two Weeks:
-Replace a second meal with a shake. Any meal you like. At this point, you’re having two shakes and three smaller meals a day. Note that it’s different for everyone; no one can tell you how much to eat as it depends on what/how you were eating before. So don’t stress about amounts. YOU know how much you were eating, so trust yourself and eat less than that per meal. Don’t be worried, those two extra shakes a day will make a difference and you shouldn’t need as much in the three meals.
-Get into your meal prep and eating schedule routine; set one or two days a week when you cook and store food and by now you shouldn’t need alarms as much for your meals.*
*Amazon sells cheap little take-out storage containers, like 40 for $10 that can be frozen or refrigerated that have lasted me years that are “correct” portion sizes (half cup).
-Get moving. We’re taking this slow, so don’t push it, you don’t want your body to get scared about what’s happening. It will push back, but you got this! Pick any activity at all that will get your heart rate up for at least five minutes at a time, three times. This is called HIIT (high intensity interval training), and it’s the best way to work out as it maximizes your calories burned. Make a fun playlist on Spotify or whatever service, that gets you HYPE, and just go for it.
-WATER WATER WATER. The more water you drink, the less hungry you’ll be and the better you’ll feel overall. Yes, it’s annoying to pee more, but even if you’re not taking in more fluids than before, at least replaces your sugary beverages with water. I HATED water when I started this, now I’m addicted. We should be addicted! Trust me, your life will change with water. And a secret: Decaf coffee counts as water up to three cups a day! So enjoy that, but don’t go over three, or you’ll be worse off.
-Cut out sugary coffees and juices.
-Cut out the rest of your sweets (for now; they’ll be back once you have more self control on how much you have in one sitting. Better just not to have them in the house as a temptation).
Month Two:
-Replace another meal with a shake or a protein bar.
-Start focusing more on your portion control. By the end of the month, your goal is to be at a half cup per normal meal (2) and 8 fl oz shakes for the other three.
-Stay on your eating schedule.
-Time to up your activity! I know this is the part that sucks, but try to make it fun! Don’t stick to the rigid guidelines of what people say is exercise. Make up your own. There are literally millions of videos online for every activity and any ability level. I am disabled, and I had to find things I could do with my limited mobility. If you have no equipment at all, you can things around the house! Or you can invest in an affordable resistance band set on Amazon. Try to do either 10 minutes three times or the five minutes 6 times. Either way, you’re doubling your activity.
-No drinks except water.
-No sweets or spreads. Time to drop that mayo, butter, BBQ sauce, etc. I know it’s tough, but you shouldn’t need it anymore with all of the great recipes you have in your repertoire now.
Month Three:
-Alright, time to crack down. You should be eating protein, veggies, and limited fruits only at this point. You should be feeling pretty satisfied with the two half cup meals and three protein shakes a day. You should only be drinking water, no other beverages.
-How’s that workout going? You should have been getting at least a half hour cumulatively of cardio every day and now you want to add some weight training if that wasn’t what you were doing already. You want to look up “core” exercises. We’re not looking to get you “swole” or ripped. You don’t need to work out all of your muscles. You’re just looking to get your core strong. That will be the basis of all future workouts and it will make you feel better overall AND it will help to avoid any injury when you want to work out harder later.
Stick with this as long as you can; depending on how much weight you have to lose; and in a few months, you’ll notice that unfortunately you’ll plateau. This stall can last one month to many, and it’s the hardest part of this whole adventure. You’ll want to quit and give up and pig out. I PROMISE it will end and then you’ll lose weight even quicker than you did before.
If you want to jump-start the loss again, you may need to increase your workout and/or food intake again.
Lastly, just try to listen to your body!
The society we live in has made that really difficult to do. Our whole lives we’ve had to eat in the rush or “clean our plate” or have our veggies... We don’t really listen to our bodies anymore. Your body will tell you when you need certain foods and water. Don’t assume that the more you eat, the less hungry you’ll be after. You know from Asian food that that’s not true. Protein, as a rule, will keep you fuller than carbs and sugars. Just try not to eat because you feel like you have to “finish this serving”. I did that for so long because I didn’t want to waste food. Unfortunately you may waste food during this journey, but you’ll come up with ways to store it and have it later and make adjustments as you go.
I lost 90 pounds this way over the course of 11 months. It feels slow, but think about how quickly a year actually goes by!
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Alright I finished Crimson Flower and after letting my thoughts marinate for a bit, I decided to do a very long write up on my thoughts. Despite the fact that I made a beeline for black eagles the moment I got the game because I had an extreme feverish passion for El at first, my thoughts on this route are unfortunately mostly negative. This is the first and only route I played so far, and I know very little about the events that transpire in the other routes.
Five thousand disclaimers that these are just my opinions that may or may not change when I play the other routes and it’s not meant to discredit folks who like Crimson Flower. Also there will be spoilers.
For starters, I think the story does a terrible job at convincing you that Edelgard’s actions are justified or even necessary. This route felt less like fighting to change the world for the better and more like a savage conquest with every chapter being El going like “we gotta kill this guy now” and I’m like “but why” and El’s like “WE JUST GOTTA”. I guess the right way to say it is that El’s route lacked emotional impact. I could not celebrate her victories with her because my only reaction was “was that really necessary” and “buddy why”. It ultimately felt like El was simply solving problems by creating more problems.
Instead of just saying “I want to uproot a societal system from its core so I have to overthrow the Church”, the story opts for El to give incredibly vague and wishy washy reasons on why the Church Is Bad. Something something, they’re not really humans and twist history??? The story forces you to do some crazy mental gymnastics to try and see El’s side of the story when everything just boils down to “Crests are Bad = Church is Bad”.
In Part 1, there was a lot of build up of the church’s obvious corruption and how they’re not to be trusted, but the build up falls flat because the story tries to make the reveal of Rhea’s beast form be the damning thing to convince the player that the church is so terrible that they have to be stopped even at the cost of thousands of lives... and well... in a franchise where almost everyone is secretly a dragon, that just did not sell me.
We’ve been knew that Crests Are Bad but does that justify sacrificing thousands of lives to upheave the church? I dunno man..................................... the story doesn’t really put much effort to convince you that this is the Only Way and it doesn’t feel like El has put much thought into trying alternative solutions before jumping straight to murder because it was the easiest solution. Which sucks because I think exploring El’s methods and mindset would definitely make for an interesting conflict. The whole idea of if war is never justifiable, is it better to let everyone remain suffering under the status quo forever? El’s belief that nothing will change unless she takes direct action has validity to it, but the game just expects you to agree with her from the get go so El never truly has to stand firm and defend her values.
Edelgard’s decision to unify Fodlan is something I really, really side eye. She’s straight up invading sovereign lands and putting them under her own rule of her own volition. While yes, Church Is Bad, barging into someone else’s land uninvited to dictate how they rule their government and “fix their society” is ultimately something I find incredibly self righteous and arrogant. This idea of “fighting for peace” through not just instigating a war, but going on a violent conquest just seems... disingenuous to me? How does she plan on dealing with the lingering resentment from the folks whose land were conquered? She’s just replacing the crest system with an Empire who will murder anyone who stands against them which... makes her literally no different from what Rhea was.
The above point is mainly due to her whole tirade into the alliance which just felt extremely unnecessary, especially when Claude was trying to keep the alliance in a neutral stance. El’s reasoning for conquering the alliance because “some of the nobles oppose me” was really flimsy like... maybe they wouldn’t oppose you if you just left them alone instead of making them choose between handing over their independence or having their land burnt to the ground.
Her dialogue with and about Dimitri is ridiculous because she criticizes him for being consumed by hatred and obsession and “losing his path as a king” but...... bruh, you’re STILL invading his country, so even if Dimitri wasn’t a raging murder man, he’d still oppose you because did you just expect a king to simply Hand Over His Land and not defend himself?????
The absolute worst, worst part of CF isn’t even Edelgard herself but how the other students react to her. It feels like none of the beagles and especially the other house characters except Lysithea have any real reason to side with her, and even if they did (which wouldn’t be surprising because we see how the crests ruined so many lives), these valid reasons are never brought up and it’s overshadowed by almost everyone lamenting “is this bloodshed even necessary?” (news flash: probably not). But why the FUCK are you guys even siding with her in the first place if you're gonna regret it afterwards or don’t actually agree with her? You don’t just side with an instigator of war with half baked resolves, and the convictions of these characters aren’t even quarter baked.
This wouldn’t be too bad if not for the fact that the beagle kids themselves also seem to have more reasons to turn on El than to fight for her. Especially when Edelgard has done nothing to ever prove herself trust worthy. Hell, CF is kicked off with Edelgard betraying everyone and revealing herself to be the Flame Emperor, which is literal admittance to her association with the slithers. Yet no one seems to put two and two together and just decides to blindly trust and follow her without second thought because... why? Who knows!!! As Sothis so eloquently puts it, they’re all boulders just rolling down whatever hill they’re on, and I could not stand how little agency and independent thought that the other characters showed. It felt like El was the driver while everyone else was just strapped into the passenger seat, mindlessly going along with the ride. No questions, no thoughts, no challenges, and to top it off, it doesn’t even feel like any of them truly believe in what they’re fighting for because they never bring up the validity of El’s ideals or the consequences of her actions.
The beagles had the group dynamic of a wet paper bag. Lysithea is the one of the only characters who actively shows any real agency for fighting for Edelgard and firmly voices how El’s goals compare to her personal values, which is a stark difference to everyone else who has a "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess this is my life now” type attitude to an infuriating degree.
Byleth siding with El also has me doing extreme shifty eyes. I can get behind them making an emotionally charged decision to defend her from Rhea but holy crap I saved you from Rhea because I didn’t want you to die, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving you the okay to murder all your classmates!! The game expects the player to take a huge leap of faith when siding with Edelgard, thinking “she has to have a proper explanation for this” and cue.... no explanation ever, until like... five years later. El’s relationship with the beagles felt disingenuous because she actively breaches the trust of others, lies to others, hides crucial information from others (slithers, anyone?), and nobody cares. She straight up lies about the church nuking Arianrhod and it’s never addressed.
The issue with the slithers and Byleth’s dad is even worse because it is never addressed until well into the route, and it’s brought up by not El, but fucking Hubert. Not to mention El is giant jackass to Byleth after their dad died even though he died because of her damn accomplices. We’re supposed to just lie down and accept the slithers’ presence because “well they’re necessary for our plans” even though we curb stomped the entire continent by ourselves, so I dunno why we can’t just shank them now. The slithers literally did nothing aside from chill around, maybe blow up a city or two to spite El. It’s ridiculous how the organization who is directly responsible for El’s abuse and trauma has no on screen resolution when frankly, I think the slithers deserve El’s animosity far more than the church.
Despite my extreme criticism towards El, I want to stress that I don’t hate El. In fact, I love her character a lot and I think she’s really fascinating. However, I think CF really shot her characterization in the foot because it doesn’t feel like El really grew or developed or changed. She stubbornly believed that her actions were right at the beginning and by the end of the game, she still believes her actions were right because the story doesn’t really bother to try and prove her otherwise. I just think she’s much more suited as an antagonist, and I’m excited to see her portrayal in the other routes. Sorry El, I love you, but I would never in a million years side with you.
To end this salt fest on a positive note, I will say the route had three things I enjoyed: the ending, Mercedes and Jeritza’s support, and Edelgard and Lysithea’s support. Seriously, I would not have so many complaints if the rest of the route had the same amount of emotional tension and feeling as El and Lysithea’s support. I enjoyed the ending fairly much; the final battle in the burning city was epic as hell and so was the final cutscene. The scene where El sobs in Byleth’s chest after Byleth’s heart beat returns was extremely touching to me. So because I liked the ending enough, at the very least I was able to finish the play through on a somewhat content note. Also random side note but Edelgard’s seiyuu is amazing.
Anyway my order from favourite to least favourite beagle kids are Dorothea > Edelgard > Ferdie > Bernie > Linhardt > Petra > Hubert > Caspar.
tldr: my experience with crimson flower
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Get Better - Chapter Twelve
Title: Get Better
Chapter: 12/18
Character: Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richardson (OFC)
Genre: Romance
Rating: Teen and up
Summary: Love. Companionship. Family. These are all of the things Tom Hiddleston desperately wanted. But his life and his choices left that a distant and unlikely prospect. So he did his best to move on and live his life as is. When an opportunity to return to the theater arises, he jumps at the chance and along the way finds that maybe, just maybe, those distant and unlikely prospects are closer than he could have imagined. Sequel to Brave Face.
Authors Notes/Warnings: So as I was writing Brave Face I knew that Tom’s story wasn’t over, even if that particular part of it was. And while I knew, more or less, what the overall ending to the story would be, its taken me a while to figure out the time in between.
Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for being an absolute godsend in regards to this story. I would truly be dead in the water without you.
This story will update on Thursdays.
Tag list: @tinchentitri @theheartofpenelope @noplacelikehome77 @blacksuitofdoom @nonsensicalobsessions @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @just-the-hiddles @wolfsmom1 @theoneanna @hiddlescastle @alexakeyloveloki @echantedbytwh
Previous Chapter
CHAPTER TWELVE
Tom had been up half the night and it clearly showed. He grimaced at his reflection in the mirror. There were dark circles under his eyes and a distinct tension in the line of his brow. “Just great,” he croaked, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
He padded back into his bedroom, Bobby on his heels, and towards the bed. Lowering himself onto the side of his bed, he bent over and rummaged through his bed stand until his fingers brushed against the smooth plastic of the bottle he sought. Popping off the lid, he poured two paracetamols into his opened palm and quickly tossed them into his mouth. He swallowed and grimaced at the taste. He then pushed himself back to his feet and padded back into the bathroom to grab a quick handful of water to rinse his mouth.
Despite the truly spectacular headache and achingly dry throat, he’d surprisingly suffered minimal negative effects from the whiskey the night before. Or well, physical effects at least. God what had he been thinking? What had possessed him to do it? To kiss Cath like he had? What must she think of him for it? He scrubbed his face with his hands.
“Christ Hiddleston,” He cursed aloud, “you’d think you would have fucking learned that drinking like that is a bad fucking idea.”
True, compared to his other forays into overindulgence, the fact that he’d only kissed Cath was positively benign. It could have been much, much worse. Not that the idea of…No, don’t even go there, he cursed at himself. His baser instincts aside, Cath was not some random bar hook-up (not that he’d done such things since that last stupid and dangerous night) and beyond that she was someone he considered a friend. Someone he respected. She was so much better than a quick, drunken moment in the dark and he’d gone and acted like a complete tit. God, would he never learn?
Bobby, who was still keeping pace with his bedraggled master, looked up at Tom in confusion. He barked softly once, head cocked to the side. Tom looked down at the spaniel and sighed.
“Be grateful you don’t have to worry about cocking things up, Bobster.” The spaniel yipped once before bumping his head into Tom’s leg in affection. Tom reached down and scratched Bobby’s head. “I’m guessing you’d like feeding?”
Another yip.
“Well, come on then.”
They paddled from the bedroom into the dimly lit hallway and then slowly down the stairs. The weak morning sunlight bled through the glass insert of his front door and painted the floor in thin bands of light. He stumbled by it and down the hallway towards back of the house and his kitchen. He didn’t bother switching on the light as he padded into the room. He bypassed his French press with a look of longing and headed towards Bobby’s feeding area and grabbed the empty food bowl. Bobby barked twice, his impatience clear.
“Fine, fine. Keep your head on.”
Tom placed the now full bowl before Bobby, who sniffed it once before diving in.
“Don’t forget to breathe,” Tom laughed, shaking his head and wandering back towards the counter and his beloved press. He needed caffeine and desperately. Food too, but that could wait. He scrubbed his hand over his face as he filled the electric kettle and set it to heat. The pounding of his headache was slowly starting to ease into more of a dull roar and for that he was exceedingly grateful. Once the water had boiled, set about heating the press, adding, and then brewing his coffee.
He sighed, grabbing a mug from the cabinet above the sink and waited, none too patiently, for his needed caffeine to brew. After an agonizing four minutes (his normally infinite patience was sadly lacking in his caffeine deprived state), he gladly poured himself a full cup, breathing in the fragrant steam. He sipped cautiously at first, the last thing he needed (or wanted to be perfectly honest) was a burnt tongue. That would not help matters, professionally (or personally) speaking, in the slightest. Tom sighed and carried his mug towards the garden door. Bobby had finished his breakfast (rapid food inhalation more like, he thought with a chuckle) and was bouncing anxiously at said door, a clear sign he was in desperate need of a wee.
Once Bobby was settled, Tom trudged back up the stairs and pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He couldn’t stomach the thought of running that morning but knew Bobby was anxious for a walk at the very least. When he descended the stairs once more he found said spaniel waiting by the front door, tail wagging into near invisibility. Tom shook his head with a quiet chuckle, reached up and grabbed the lead and harness, quickly fastening Bobby in before grabbing his wallet and keys from the hall table and shrugging into his jacket.
“Alright, good sir. Shall we?”
Bobby barked once as Tom opened the door and led them both out into the dim, morning chill.
—
“You quite alright there?” Lorna inquired for what felt like the hundredth time.
“I’m fine, Lorn,” Cath answered with an exasperated sigh, turning her attention towards the station situated besides her own. Lorna sat sideways in the makeup chair, arm resting on the padded back, watching her with a knowing look. “Just like I was the last time you asked. And the time before. Just a slight headache, I had a bit more wine than I intended last evening. Nothing the paracetamol I took before coming in and several bottles of water won’t cure.”
Lorna quirked an eyebrow, “You were certainly quite entertaining.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a few glasses and my filter falls to the wayside, you know this. And honestly, I wasn’t that bad.”
True, she’d told a few stories that sober her would not have parted with so willingly, but it was hardly a stop the presses moment. The end of the evening however…Cath shook the thought away. She’d been up half the night replaying those few moments; the way Tom had looked at her (like she was the only thing he could see), the feel of his hands on her waist, her back (strong and oh so warm), the feel of his lips against hers. It hadn’t been more than a few, brief, dizzying moments but she couldn’t seem to shake the way he’d made her feel. Heady and confused and blissful all at once.
A million different thoughts bombarded her as she’d tossed and turned, finally giving up the idea restful sleep as a bad job somewhere around five in the morning. She’d strongly considered taking Gemma up on her offer of another yoga class, just to give her mind something else to focus on. But the way her body ached when she pulled herself out of bed put that ridiculous notion to rest. There was no way she could face another hour plus of torture, even for the mental break it might provide. Not with the after effects of just a touch too much wine making themselves well known.
Instead, she’d puttered around her flat cleaning and straightening (funny how cleaning helped soothe her when as a general rule she despised it with a passion). While her flat wasn’t a complete mess, it had been a while since she’d done more than a quick surface clean (she was thankfully a neat person by nature). And the movement helped…albeit minimally. By the time mid-morning rolled around, Cath was sweaty, tired, and still as confused as ever. She threw herself into the shower and then back into bed not waking until her phone alarm blared at five minutes to two.
Cursing, she dressed and flew out the door. While she didn’t technically have to be at the theatre earlier than half five, there were a dozen little projects and issues that could use her attention. Things she’d been putting off. She’d caught the tube and made it down the street and towards the theatre at slightly before half four. Smiling at the security near the stage door, Cath made her way inside the theatre, up the stairs, and set to work.
When Lorna had lumbered in at quarter of five, Cath had gotten all the cast wardrobe ready for the evening, had organized her station (twice), and had doused the small fires that had sprung up over the last few days.
“Busy beaver today,” Lorna joked, dropping her bag and coat in the tiny closet near the door. “I’m surprised to see you here so early. One would have thought you’d still be sleeping.”
“I didn’t drink that much, Lorn, and you know it. Besides there were a million and one little things that I’ve been putting off. No time like the present, eh?”
Lorna hadn’t seemed convinced by chose to keep her thoughts mostly to herself (something that ultimately worried Cath though she dared not vocalize it. Gift horse, mouth and all that). “You sure you’re alright?”
“Just fine.” She’d explained, hoping Lorna would let the matter drop.
That didn’t stop Lorna from asking, repeatedly, over the next hour and it took all Cath had to keep her responses civil and light. Telling Lorna just what was running through her head, and why, was something Cath knew she absolutely wanted no part of. Giving her friend even a hint would set her right off and Lorna full blast was not something she wanted to deal with at the moment. Or ever, if at all possible.
Still, Cath knew she would have to do something sooner rather than later. She would have to say something to Tom, at least. Because if she didn’t, Cath feared her own wondering and worry would be the death of her (or her sanity at the very least). The worst he could say, after all she reasoned with herself, was that the kiss had been a mistake. The idea made her gut clench and her stomach churn. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm.
They had both been drinking and he was an affectionate person. These things happened, after all. And she would rather he be honest with her now about his intentions (if there were any) than to say nothing and let her own awkwardness effect their working relationship and potentially her career as well.
She just hoped she could keep her nerve.
—
Tom climbed the stairs leading to the dressing rooms with a growing sense of trepidation. He’d spent the majority of his commute thinking about what to say…Or not to say when he saw Cath again. He’d run through countless scenarios, each ending the same way, with her disgust or her rejection. It wasn’t logical and he’d known it, but that did little to ease his fears.
As he rounded the corner, warm laughter echoed from the half opened door of the dressing room. He paused momentarily, listening though his ingrained sensibility screamed at him that it was so very wrong. “…swear to god, Lorn, you need to relax. I swear I can only handle one bouncing adult at a time. And my quota should be walking through that door at any moment.”
The chuckle burst from his lips quite without his permission and Tom cursed, knowing from the way conversation stilled that he’d been found out. With nothing else to do, Tom took a deep breath and took the last several steps into the dressing room. “Hello, I’m glad to see you are both not the worse for wear.”
“Water, paracetamol, and a very greasy fry up,” Lorna quipped, flashing a smile at him. They were settled around Cath’s workstation, the remnants of a makeshift afternoon tea (takeaway cups and a half finished packet of chocolate digestives…he hoped they weren’t his) strewn between them. “You seem almost human yourself.”
Tom chuckled, running an opened hand over the back of his neck. “Water and paracetamol as well. And then massive amounts of coffee.”
“Here, here.”
Silence fell and Tom found himself unconsciously rocking on his heels. Cath had smiled at him when he’d walked in but otherwise had remained unusually quiet. Any hope he’d had that maybe she hadn’t remembered (it was a stupid, selfish hope. She hadn’t had nearly enough to drink for that) were swiftly dismissed with that subtle change in her behavior. And while she didn’t appear anything other than completely together but still the all too familiar fear bubbled inside him.
Lorna hopped off her chair and headed back towards her own station, grabbing her wallet. “Cath, I’m going to run out and grab a coffee. Back in a mo.”
Cath gaped after her. “Lorn, what..?” But she was out the door before Cath could finish her question. Cath swore under her breath and Tom felt his stomach churn. She took a deep breath before raising her eyes back towards Tom.
He cleared his throat.
“Tom…”
“Cath…”
They’d spoken simultaneously and Tom found himself laughing softly to cover the sudden awkwardness he felt. “I’m sorry,” he started once he had better control of himself. “What did you want to say?”
“I wanted…” She stopped, shaking her head. She paused a moment before continuing. “No, I don’t want to but I think we need to talk about last night.”
Tom felt his insides freeze and he prayed to god he’d managed to keep his face in check. “Cath it was….I’d had too much to drink…I didn’t mean…”
A flicker of emotion he couldn’t place flashed across Cath’s face before she nodded and offered him a slight smile which didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I understand. It’s fine Tom. Don’t trouble yourself over it.”
“I…” he started, a sinking sense of dread enveloping him. Had she not regretted it? God, had he just made a stupid mistake?
“Tom, seriously, don’t worry about it. We’ve all been there. You had a bit more to drink than you meant and so had I. Nothing bad happened and we can just let the matter drop, right? Still friends?”
He nodded slowly, not quite sure what to make of what had just happened. The cheer in her voice seemed just a fraction too bright but maybe he was simply letting his own confused and convoluted emotions cloud his judgement. And if he pushed…No. Pushing, he feared would make the matter worse. Besides she was right, they’d both been drinking and…Fuck, who was he kidding?
“Yeah,” he finally answered. “Still friends.”
He steadfast refused to acknowledge the sinking feeling he’d just made a horrid, horrid mistake. Cath smiled softly at him and nodded her head, waving him towards the chair she’d just vacated.
“Alright, let’s start putting you to rights.”
—
Tom smiled brightly as he embraced Zawe. She was absolutely glowing. He was glad to be able to be there in support of her book. In support of her. He’d arrived at Wild by Tart shortly before the start of the launch but this had been the first time he’d gotten to properly speak with his co-star. “Congrats, darling. This is fabulous.”
“Well of course it is,” she teased back, “it’s my bloody book. It’s brilliant.”
They both laughed.
“But seriously I’m glad you could make it. These things are more than a tad daunting.” She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “You’d think I’d be used to this madness by now.”
Tom shrugged. “Well there’s promoting stage and screen work and then there’s promoting something akin to your own child. I’ve heard you talk about the book enough to know it’s your baby. That it’s a very real part of you.”
“Fair enough.” She paused, grabbing a drink from a passing tray and took a quick sip. “Have you seen Charlie or Cath? I know they’re here somewhere.”
He ignored the way his heart clenched at mention of her name. It had been a week since the so-called truce had taken place and he felt as though he’d been walking on eggshells around her. She’d been her typical, warm self though and Tom hadn’t known what to make of it. Sometimes he was convinced he’d read far too much into the entire situation. It was just a silly, drunken kiss. Cath clearly seemed to have moved passed it, maybe he needed to do the same.
“Um,” he started glancing around the crowded room. “I’m pretty sure I saw Charlie a few minutes ago somewhere over there.” He waved his hand towards the far side of the room. He’d passed Charlie talking with a small group of people as he’d been making his way over to speak with Zawe. “I haven’t bumped into Cath though.”
Zawe studied him and he fought the urge to squirm under her gaze. “Things quite alright with you and Cath?”
Tom blinked. “Why wouldn’t they be?”
She shrugged. “You just seem a bit…on edge lately and she’s been a touch off. I just was wondering.”
“As far as I’m aware we’ve no issues.”
It wasn’t technically a lie, he convinced himself. After all, Cath hadn’t acted too differently towards him since their talk. If anything, he was the one with the issue and that was solely one of his own making. He clearly needed to get himself in check and put his own stupid notions behind him. Cath seemed to have done so, it was only fitting he do as well. She was a friend, nothing more and he was okay with that. He had to be.
Zawe frowned slightly but didn’t press the matter. “Just wanted to make sure. I’d hate to see two people I’m quite fond of be at odds. We’ve still got months ahead of being in close quarters.”
“Everything is fine, Zawe. Honestly.”
The conversation was cut short by Zawe’s PA pulling her aside for a few last minute promotional duties. “Catch up with you later?”
“Definitely.”
He took a deep breath and snagged a drink of his own from a passing tray. He took several sips of the sparkling wine and fortified himself to mingle once more.
—
Cath stood against the wall, sipping a glass of sparkling white wine and watching as people chatted and flitted around the busy venue. She’d seen Zawe and Charlie in passing and had waved in greeting, but hadn’t had a chance to catch the woman of the hour on her own. She was thrilled for Zawe. The book was fantastic and she’d known just how hard her friend had worked to get it finished and out into the world. Seeing the fruits of that labor was immensely gratifying.
The turnout for the book launch was fantastic and Cath couldn’t help smiling. She’d seen several faces she’d recognized in the crowd and had done a quick circuit herself, chatting with a few former co-workers and several other faces whose names escaped her but whom she’d known she’d met at some point. For now, though, she was content sitting back and watching.
She caught sight of Tom on the other end of the room, chatting with an actress she’d seen before but whose name she couldn’t remember. He seemed completely in his element; cool, calm, and collected. For a moment she let herself feel a rush of envy towards the woman who seemed to so easily hold Tom’s attention. It was ridiculous, feeling the way she did. The kiss (god she couldn’t seem to get it out of her head no matter how she’d tried) hadn’t meant anything to him; he’d told her as much. It was a mistake, a regret. He’d been drinking and clearly hadn’t meant…But still she’d hoped.
No, she scolded herself. It’s done and over with and not worth any more of my time.
She’d done her best over the last week to not dwell on what had happened between them and to act as normally as she could towards Tom. It had been a test of her resolve and she’d felt the strain but it was better if she could just act as though everything were fine. After all that was the only clear course of action. She couldn’t risk jeopardizing her working relationship with the man. He was one of the stars of the production and if he was made to feel uncomfortable it would be her who’d be asked to step down and she knew it. This gig was important for her career and risking it over hurt feelings…That was something she could ill afford.
Cath quickly turned her attention from Tom and his companion, hoping to spot someone (anyone at this point) to talk with. She found Charlie quickly enough and made a beeline towards him.
“Hello stranger,” she called warmly as she closed the distance between them. She truly liked the man. He was a breath of fresh air with his no nonsense, straight forward way of being. And at this moment, she needed that. Desperately.
Charlie turned, a warm smile on his face. “Cath! How are you, my girl?”
“I’m doing rather well,” she answered, letting him pull her into a quick embrace. “The wine is fabulous and the turnout’s pretty incredible too. Though I still haven’t managed to catch Zawe on her own yet.”
“Woman of the hour, she is,” Charlie laughed. “I think she’s finishing up a few quick photos. I’ll send her your way if I see her.”
“Cheers, mate.” She tipped her glass in his direction before pausing to take another sip.
“Have you seen Tom yet? I know he’s around here somewhere.”
Cath froze for a moment at the mention of his name. She shook her head, “Not really. I mean I think I’ve seen him about, but I’ve not spoken with him yet.”
“Oh.”
She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Oh?”
“I just thought…You know what, never mind what I thought.” He smiled warmly at her and Cath found herself at once quite desperate to know just what he had thought but did not seem to want to say.
“Seriously, Charlie, whatever it is, spit it out. I promise I won’t bite your head off.”
Charlie chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “You just seemed…Rather close is all…But this past week. It just feels like something is a touch...off.”
She wasn’t sure just how to respond to that. Maybe she hadn’t been as nonchalant as she’d thought she’d been. And if Charlie had noticed, surely Tom had as well. Damn. Damn. Double damn. “I’ve just been a touch…Frantic, trying to keep my head on straight with the show finally really getting underway. Juggling a few more things than I usually do, but give me another week or so and I’ll be right as rain.”
It was a pitiful excuse and she knew it, but the last thing she wanted or needed to do was get into what was really bothering her. Especially not with someone she knew Tom considered a friend. She was saved, however, from whatever Charlie was about to say in response by the sound of a voice clearing over the speakers. She turned to find Zawe on the small stage area a few feet away.
“Hello everyone, thank you again for coming out to the launch of ‘Character Breakdown’. I honestly have to say I’m beyond honored that you lot are here. This has been a project I’ve been working on for quite a while now. One I’ve put my heart, soul, and sanity into. And now seeing it finally finished and ready for the world is…Surreal. Completely surreal, but utterly amazing.”
Cath smiled as she watched Zawe work the crowd before her. The genuine delight and excitement that radiated from her was infectious. Cath found herself caught up in it as Zawe laughed, clapping her hands together, and announced she was going to read a small passage from the book. Beside her, Cath felt someone shift and turning was rather startled to find Tom. He looked far too good in his black pea coat, navy jumper and dark jeans.
She fought to keep her expression friendly but neutral as she nodded in greeting before turning her attention back to Zawe. As she watched her friend speak, Cath resolved to keep a better grip on her emotions. Tom was a lovely man and despite how she felt (denying it anymore would be foolish at this point) he was a colleague, nothing more. She could be a professional about this. She would be, even if it killed her.
Next Chapter
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston rpf#tom hiddleston x ofc#tom hiddleston x oc#tom hiddleston x original female character#tom hiddleston x orignal character#get better fic#Tom and Cath
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Why Octavia E Butler’s novels are so relevant today
It’s campaign season in the US, and a charismatic dark horse is running with the slogan ‘make America great again’. According to his opponent, he’s a demagogue; a rabble-rouser; a hypocrite. When his supporters form mobs and burn people to death, he condemns their violence “in such mild language that his people are free to hear what they want to hear”. He accuses, without grounds, whole groups of people of being rapists and drug dealers. How much of this rhetoric he actually believes and how much he spouts “just because he knows the value of dividing in order to conquer and to rule” is at once debatable, and increasingly beside the point, as he strives to return the country to a “simpler” bygone era that never actually existed.
More like this:
- The 1968 novel that predicted today
- The fiction that predicted space travel
- The story of cannibalism that came true
You might think he sounds familiar – but the character in question is Texas Senator Andrew Steele Jarret, the fictional presidential candidate who storms to victory in a dystopian science-fiction novel titled Parable of the Talents. Written by Octavia E Butler, it was published in 1998, two decades before the inauguration of the 45th President of the United States.
Like much of her writing, Butler’s book was a warning about where the US and humanity in general might be heading. In some respects, we’ve beaten her to it: a sequel to 1993’s Parable of the Sower, Parable of the Talents is set in what is still the future, 2032. While its vision is extreme, there is plenty that feels within the bounds of possibility: resources are increasingly scarce, the planet is boiling, religious fundamentalism is rife, the middle classes live in walled-off enclaves. The novel’s protagonist, a black woman like the author herself, fears that Jarret’s authoritarianism will only worsen matters.
Fourteen years after her early death, Butler’s reputation is soaring. Her predictions about the direction that US politics would take, and the slogan that would help speed it there, are certainly uncanny. But that wasn’t all she foresaw. She challenged traditional gender identity, telling a story about a pregnant man in Bloodchild and envisaging shape-shifting, sex-changing characters in Wild Seed. Her interest in hybridity and the adaptation of the human race, which she explored in her Xenogenesis trilogy, anticipated non-fiction works by the likes of Yuval Noah Harari. Concerns about topics including climate change and the pharmaceutical industry resonate even more powerfully now than when she wove them into her work.
And of course, by virtue of her gender and ethnicity, she was striving to smash genre assumptions about writers – and readers – so ingrained that in 1987, her publisher still insisted on putting two white women on the jacket of her novel Dawn, whose main character is black. She also helped reshape fantasy and sci-fi, bringing to them naturalism as well as characters like herself. And when she won the prestigious MacArthur ‘genius’ grant in 1995, it was a first for any science-fiction writer.
Octavia Estelle Butler was born on 22 June 1947. Her father, a shoeshiner, died when she was very young, and she was raised by her mother, a maid, in Pasadena, California. As an only child, Butler began entertaining herself by telling stories when she was just four. Later, tall for her age and painfully shy, growing up in an era of segregation and conformity, that same storytelling urge became an escape route. She read, too, hungrily and in spite of her dyslexia. Her mother – who herself had been allowed only a scant few years of schooling – took her to get a library card, and would bring back cast-off books from the homes she cleaned.
An alternate future
Through fiction, Butler learnt to imagine an alternate future to the drab-seeming life that was envisioned for her: wife, mother, secretary. “I fantasised living impossible, but interesting lives – magical lives in which I could fly like Superman, communicate with animals, control people’s minds”, she wrote in 1999. She was 12 when she discovered science fiction, the genre that would draw her most powerfully as a writer. “It appealed to me more, even, than fantasy because it required more thought, more research into things that fascinated me,” she explained. Even as a young girl, those sources of fascination ranged from botany and palaeontology to astronomy. She wasn’t a particularly good student, she said, but she was “an avid one”.
After high school, Butler went on to graduate from Pasadena City College with an Associates of Arts degree in 1968. Throughout the 1970s, she honed her craft as a writer, finding, through a class with the Screen Writers’ Guild Open Door Program, a mentor in sci-fi veteran Harlan Ellison, and then selling her first story while attending the Clarion Science Fiction Writer’s Workshop. Supporting herself variously as a dishwasher, telemarketer and inspector at a crisp factory, she would wake at 2am to write. After five years of rejection slips, she sold her first novel, Patternmaster, in 1975, and when it was published the following year, critics praised its well-built plot and refreshingly progressive heroine. It imagines a distant future in which humanity has evolved into three distinct genetic groups, the dominant one telepathic, and introduces themes of hierarchy and community that would come to define her work. It also spawned a series, with two more books, Mind of My Mind and Survivor, following before the decade’s end.
With the $1,750 advance that Survivor earnt her, Butler took a trip east to Maryland, the setting for a novel she wanted to write about a young black woman who travels back in time to the Deep South of 19th-Century America. Having lived her entire life on the West Coast, she travelled by cross-country bus, and it was during a three-hour wait at a bus station that she wrote the first and last chapters of what would become Kindred. It was published in 1979 and remains her best-known book.
The 1980s would bring a string of awards, including two Hugos, the science-fiction awards first established in 1953. They also saw the publication of her Xenogenesis trilogy, which was spurred by talk of ‘winnable nuclear war’ during the arms race, and probes the idea that humanity’s hierarchical nature is a fatal flaw.The books also respond to debates about human genetic engineering and captive breeding programs for endangered species.
In her author photos, Butler appears a serious woman with an exceptionally penetrating gaze. At a talk she gave in Washington DC in 1991, later reported in the radical feminist periodical, Off Our Backs, she offered a fuller description of herself: “comfortably asocial – a hermit in the middle of Los Angeles – a pessimist if I’m not careful, a feminist, a black, a former Baptist, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, certainty and drive”.
That certainty and drive can be seen in papers from her archive, now housed at the Huntington Library. In 1998, some motivational notes written on the back of a ring-bound writing pad begin “I shall be a bestselling writer!” She goes on: “I will find the way to do this! So be it! See to it!” Elsewhere, she’s to be found urging herself to “tell stories filled with facts. Make people touch and taste and know. Make people feel! Feel! Feel!”
Butler died in 2006, following a fall near her home in Washington state. Though she had begun suffering from writer’s block and depression, caused in part by medication for her high blood pressure, she’d continued to teach, and in 2005, had been inducted into Chicago State University’s international black writers hall of fame. She published a novel that year, too, Fledgling, whose vampire heroine must avenge a vicious attack, and rebuild her life and family. By then, her books had been translated into 10 languages, selling more than 1 million copies altogether.
In the years since, her fanbase has only grown. It turns out that she didn’t invent the campaign slogan beloved by Trump. It was used by Ronald Reagan in his 1980 presidential campaign, and later by Bill Clinton, although later he described the phrase as a “racist dog whistle to white southerners”. Nevertheless, as Tarshia L Stanley, dean of the school of humanities, arts and sciences at St Catherine University, notes, when readers spotted during the 2016 US election that Butler had chosen the slogan for Jarret, it “jarred people into recognising that she’s been doing this work all along. She’d been trying to tell us that if we do not make changes, this is what’s going to happen. She constantly gave that message: this is the logical conclusion if we keep treading down this path. I think when people saw that phrase, it started a whole new group of people reading her work.”
Butler’s work is today the subject of fan fiction, television adaptations (there are at least two in the works), and lively attention on college campuses, where it’s read from perspectives as varied as critical race theory, Afrofuturism, black feminism, queer theory and disability studies. Stanley, who last year edited the essay collection Approaches to Teaching the Works of Octavia E Butler, is also president of a society dedicated to the author. Its membership is broad, she says, but the most gratifying surprise is how many young people Butler’s work is engaging. At the inaugural conference, there was even a panel of high-school kids.
What would Butler have made of the present political moment in the US? “I don’t think she would have been surprised”, Stanley says. She puts Butler’s ability to envisage our future down to a deep understanding of human nature – knowledge gained from having the role of outsider foisted on her in girlhood. This she backed up with research, reading journals including Scientific American, listening to lectures, travelling as far as the Amazon. For Stanley, the one lesson to take from Butler’s work is hope. “World building is huge in her canon, and so there is always hope that since we built this world, we can build another one.”
There’s a scene in Parable of the Sower when the best friend of heroine Lauren Olamina insists “Books aren’t going to save us”. Lauren replies: “Use your imagination,” telling her to search her family’s bookshelves for anything that might come in handy. “Any kind of survival information from encyclopedias, biographies, anything that helps you learn,” she goes on. "Even some fiction might be useful".
Butler’s novels are just that kind of fiction. The child who began writing as a means of escape, ended up crafting potent calls to socio-political action that seem ever more pertinent to our survival as a species.
Parable of the Sower, Parable of the Talents, and other books by Octavia Butler are published by Headline.
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#octavia estelle butler#octavia e. butler#octavia e butler#octavia butler#rip#novels#black author#black authors#black sci-fi#black sci fi#black lit#black literature#lit#literature#books#sci-fi#sci fi#speculative fiction#bbc#bbc news#long reads
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Origin and History of Tea - Learn the story of Tea | Tea Background
From the Earl Grey of England to the Matcha of Japan or even the Darjeeling Tea of India, you now have access to different teas, each having a personalized taste. Owing to its taste and mind-soothing essence, tea is now the second most-consumed drink in the world, preceded by water. History of tea dates back to 2732 B.C. when Emperor Shen Nung discovered tea leaves by mistake. This origin of tea was in ancient China, almost 5.000 years back. Lu Yu has mentions the story of tea in his work - ‘The Classic of Tea’. For Japan, the story of tea started when Saicho, Eichu, and Kukai introduce this beverage for the first time.
Moreover, everyone has their own story of tea and its significance in their lives. If we classify tea in a broad sense, then there are five major varieties:
Green tea
Black tea
Oolong tea
White tea
Puerh tea
All five varieties come from the same plant, Camellia Sinensis, native to China. There's another species, Camellia Sinensis Assamica that originated in the Indian state of Assam. Along with these traditional teas, people drink several other drinks made from different kinds of plants. Since they taste similar to traditional tea, these are also known as herbal teas or tisanes. Rooibos tea, chamomile tea, peppermint tea, and lemongrass tea are some of the most popular herbal teas.
Here, we’ll focus on traditional teas and learn more about the history and origin of the tea. What’s the history of tea? Who did the invention of tea? Where is chai origin? Where did tea originate? How did it become so popular? Let us start the discussion by talking about the origin of tea.
Tea Background - What are the Origins of Tea?
Here are some of the countries and their story of tea-
China: It’s impossible to understand tea background and talk about the origin of teawithout mentioning China. Although there are various stories about the invention of tea in China, every one of them has the mention of Emperor Shen Nung. One famous story is that, in 2737 BC, once a leaf blew into the boiling broth in Emperor Shen Nung's court. He was so pleased with the infusion that he named it 'Tcha.' Another story of tea, says that it was the Shang Dynasty who invented tea to use it for medicinal purposes. It was in 1500 BC–1046 BC. No matter what the legends say, it is more or less proven that the Han Dynasty of 206-220 AD popularized tea in Chinese culture. And by the time the Qing Dynasty came in rule, tea had become a staple drink of china.
Japan: According to the history of tea, it was Saicho, Eichu, and Kukai (renowned scholars and Buddhist monks) were the first to introduce Japan to this beverage. Since then, it became a drink to cherish for in Japanese culture. If legends are to be believed, the use of Matcha tea by the Buddhist Zen Monks to control their stimulus, built its fame in Japan.
Vietnam: Though not a famous story of tea, Vietnam has a wide variety of teas that the rest of the world had no idea until Other than the high consumption and production of oolong and black tea, the speciality of Vietnam lies in herbal teas like lotus tea, chamomile tea, etc.
Buy Tea online on Teacurry.com
Chai Origin - Who Introduced Tea in India?
The British Empire played a huge role in building the history of Indian tea. It was the British East India Company that brought tea into the limelight in India. According to the history of Indian tea, a renowned English botanist, Joseph Banks, suggested that tea plantations would flourish in India. On his recommendation, a consignment of Chinese tea seeds was brought to India for cultivation in 1780. Robert Kyd led the experiment of cultivating tea on Indian soil.
A few decades later, the bushes of Camellia Sinensis Assamica were discovered in the Upper Brahmaputra Valley by Robert Bruce. He was very intrigued by the plant growing in the wild. And for the first time in the history of tea, one Indian Tea plant was sent to England. Though the Chinese variety couldn’t bear the heat of Assam, the native variety flourished. This gave rise to the tea production in India under the British. As time passed, tea plantations flourished, even for commercial purposes in India. Kumaon, Darjeeling, Garhwal, and Kulu led the way! This started the story of teaproduction on an industrial scale in the history of Indian tea. Today, India has 13,000 tea gardens with a workforce of more than 2 million people, making India one of the top contributors of tea production on a global level.
How Did Tea Become Famous Worldwide?
Though the story of teastarted in China as a medicinal drink, it’s now a popular beverage all across the world. From being part of England's tea-party culture for wealthy socialites to being part of the American Revolution and the First Opium War, the story of teahas prevailed across centuries.
A few stories suggest that the Dutch sailors played a major role in putting tea on the world map. It was they who took tea to North America, Holland, and France in 1610(approx). Back then, tea was marketed as a luxurious product, so only the rich merchants had the privilege of enjoying it. They were the ones who changed the story of tea from being a medicinal drink to a recreational beverage. The British also played a major role in making tea popular. It is mentioned in the history of tea, that the British started cultivating tea the First Opium war. This happened because China refused to trade tea for opium with the British. And so to cherish this 'wonder drink,' Great Britain set up commercial cultivations in its colonies like India and Ceylon, turning it into a global product.
The contributions of scientists and botanists are unmatched when it comes to popularizing tea's history and giving it a global identity, rather than constricting it to China.
Who Invented tea with milk?
Though there isn't concrete proof behind this, there are mentions of specific incidents that might have resulted in the invention of using milk with tea. According to the history of tea, Jean Nieuhoff, a Dutch traveller, was first to taste tea with milk way back in 1965, in a banquet arranged by Chinese Emperor Shunzhi in Canton.
Another story of teasays the British were the second to use milk in tea. They used to do this because teacups back then were so delicate that pouring hot tea into it made them crack. So, to prevent the delicate dishes from cracking, Britishers started pouring milk into the cup and then adding the hot, brewed tea. This way, the milk would cool off the tea's temperature and prevent the cups from cracking. The people of England follow this tradition even today while preparing the tea.
Who Discovered Tea in the World?
Though there are many stories about the history of tea, almost every single one of them narrow down to the fact that it was the Emperor Shen Nung of China, who discovered this beverage. It is said that a dried tea leaf somehow blew into a boiling broth, which was being prepared for the emperor. He was so impressed with the smell that he decided to taste some of it.
Does All Tea Come from China?
Though China is considered as the most famous country as far as the story of teagoes, not all tea comes from there. Only Camellia Sinensis has its origin in China out of the two main species of tea. The other variety, Camellia Sinensis Assamica, is native to the region of Assam, India. Other than China and India, countries like Sri Lanka and Kenya also produce tea on a large scale. Together, they form the top 4 tea producing countries.
Judging by the rich history of tea, it's evident that this loved drink has come a long way. From being a medicinal drink to a popular household drink, the story of teais as exciting as its taste. So, it can be rightly said, no matter which country is responsible for the origin of tea, it thas has cult-following all over the globe.
Frequently Asked Questions related to History of Tea
What is the Origin of Tea and how did It Become Famous Worldwide? China his believed to be the place of the origin of tea. According to some records about the history of tea, the Chinese used to make medicines out of tea leaves before knowing about its brewing method. The British East India Company played a significant role in making it famous worldwide. They were the first to bring tea to the western countries.
Who Drinks the Most Tea? According to studies, Turkey has the highest consumption of tea, followed by countries like Ireland, the United Kingdom, and Russia. These are the top 4 counties with the highest tea consumption per person.
Why does The British drink so Much Tea? Tea in ancient England was regarded as a luxurious product. The super-rich used to indulge in tea parties. Also, because of the British East India Company's control over the tea market in England, it quickly replaced coffee.
Which Country has the Most Tea? If we look at the production level, China is the top tea-producing with an annual output of 2,473,443 tonnes. It is followed by India and Kenya, which produce 2,473,443 and 439,857 tonnes of tea in a single year, respectively.
Did tea come from India or China? China was the first country to begin the process of brewing and drinking tea. According to the history of tea, it became popular in India when the British colonized the country. They gradually started production in India.
Is Chai Chinese or Indian? The word 'Chai' is the Hindi name for tea that has been in use for a long time in India. Chai also has its brewing method and a unique taste. So, it can be called an Indian drink.
Teacurry.com hopes that you thoroughly enjoyed the above research we have tried to put together in terms of history and origin of tea. In case of questions or suggestions please let us know in comments below or write at [email protected] and we would be more than happy to assist you.
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