#and instead of acknowledging it and reflecting on it he just keeps destroying
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theyre obviously drawing parallels of the wittebane brothers with hunter and luz, but hopefully with less fratricide. so what if it actually gets acknowledged in canon?
when they run into him, belos sees the echo of his brother with a younger human peer. they’re taking care of each other and gallivanting around in masks, having adventures like phillip and caleb used to. before they got to the demon realm and everything fell apart. before caleb fell in with the witches and phillip took the CLEARLY righteous path and rejected that world.
except luz and hunter have already been in the demon realm. luz has taken the magic and the culture of the isles and flourished. despite all of belos’s efforts, hunter has also studied wild magic and even ultimately betrayed him like caleb did. and now instead of convincing hunter to return to puritan sensibilities in the human world like belos wanted to do for caleb long ago, luz has converted them both to heretics. and their relationship is better for it.
but belos will never admit that the problem was himself. that if he had embraced the boiling isles, or even just tolerated his brother’s embrace of it, then he wouldn’t have “had” to kill caleb. so instead he looks on with envy at luz and hunter, who could have been phillip and caleb in another life but achieved this while doing everything wrong, and rages.
#toh#the owl house#luz noceda#hunter toh#phillip wittebane#caleb wittebane#emperor belos#the owl house season 3#thanks to them#uuuuuuoooooooggggghhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuueeeeeeee belos is such a good villain#bro is living out a century spanning greek tragedy in old americana#luz and hunter are phillip and caleb but better#he has systematically destroyed every loved one and every ally#and he will never admit to his own wrongdoings out of the intrinsic flaw to his character#but deep down he knows its his own fault#and instead of acknowledging it and reflecting on it he just keeps destroying#luz and hunter are siblings
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I just remembered the "Please. I don't want to see another human life destroyed by this place” line, and honestly did they have scenes of Luz starting to wonder if Belos' had a point and going into the island did destroy her life? If not, they should have had.
No, they did not have Luz ever wonder how the isles affected Belos--except in the storyboards:
Luz still calls him out for trying to destroy the isles and being a hypocrite but there's still that moment of empathy in which she asks point blank: "What do you think they DID to you?!" She briefly contemplates just why someone would go so far to destroy an entire population and what his mindset might be. Unfortunately, this was not included in the final version and Belos' expression is blank instead of pleading.
Then there's this storyboard from For the Future in which Luz, Eda, and King explain to the Collector how people like Amity and Lilith became their friends:
Luz's line about "people being complicated" is in the episode but the entire exchange between her and the Collector is not even though it opens up a lot of interesting ideas and themes. Without it though, the show becomes straight up hypocritical when it states that people are complicated but reduces its villains to generic archetypes and its hero characters as being simply misguided or victims of the villains.
And no, this doesn't mean that the show should have excused Belos' actions or even forgiven him; but they could have and should have acknowledged the complexity of his character by keeping this nuance in and how the characters react to it. By doing so, the message of "people are complicated" becomes clear and strengthens the other characters as well. Luz gets to self-reflect on how she sees other people and learn that even the worst people among us are incredibly complex and have driving forces that are uncomfortably close to our own, thus making it much harder to demonize them. The Collector--instead of being a Giant Star Baby--keeps both his childlike bluntness and keen observational skills that he had in season 2, thus fleshing out the character instead of devolving him.
Regrettably, that nuance is absent from the show and we have a rather black-and-white narrative about Good vs. Evil; people are only ever really "bad" if someone tricked them or if there was a misunderstanding and all the Real Bad People are just selfish jerks who are power hungry and controlling.
This is not compelling storytelling; this is a tale as old as time. And the worst part is that there was a great story in The Owl House but it was left in the rough drafts.
Storyboards by Yasmin Khudari and King Pecora
#asks#toh critical#toh criticism#belosfanstakeover#the owl house#emperor belos#philip wittebane#luz noceda#toh collector#long post#toh meta#toh storyboards
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PROPAGANDA
Vriska Serket
vriska
"Vriscourse"
this is her tournament
She fits all four categories. Also it's Vriska
people have been arguing about whether shes pure evil or an innocent baby for like 14 years straight. nobody can fathom that shes NEITHER. like yes she is a product of her environment and the reason she killed all those people was because her spider mother was forcing her to and also due to her position in society she was encouraged to act that way and was literally a 13 yr old child just doing what was expected of her by the world around her so it isnt her fault for being in the role she was raised to be in when she didnt know there was any other option. that being said shes also just kind of a dick and put stairs in a paralysed guys house even though she knew that was a cruel thing to do cus she thought it was funny. like shes a child thats a product of her environment and she did a lot of awful things but a lot of it can be explained by the fact that she had a neglectful literal giant spider as a mother and that she was also being manipulated by an omniscient cue ball god to hurt her friends. but that doesnt EXCUSE how she acted and many of the things she did were just cruel and unnecessary like how she treated tavros. so in conclusion she is NOT an evil irredeemable bitch because she’s literally a preteen when she does all of the bad stuff + when she was messaging john she finally was away from alternian society and could finally reflect on how killing made her feel and how she realised she didnt enjoy doing it even though it was what was expected of her. HOWEVER she also isnt a sweet angel because it doesnt EXCUSE her actions it just explains them, she still did cruel shit and hurt people and acted selfishly etc… putting vriska in a box is a huge disservice to her as a character because shes like one of the most important characters in the story because of the way she’s constantly trying to steal the spotlight and insert herself into the story etc but instead of people doing any kind of interesting analysis on one of the most complex characters in the story they instead argue for a decade and a half about whether or not she did anything wrong… which goes against the whole point of her role in the story
c'mon. it's vriska.
Gon Freecss
It's ALWAYS the beef between people saying he's actually a monster and the ones saying "he's just a kid and he never did anything wrong in his entire life". The first ones won't accept the fact that Gon is kind with his loved ones. That he's hurt and did bad things when he was hurt. That he cares for his friends. That he is naive and really acts as a child. That the monster he is inside isn't ALL that he is – only a part of what he is. That a big part of how he acts was caused by the fact all of the adults in his life never saw the red flags and pushed him to keep acting like that because "haha quirky kid". The second ones won't accept the fact that Gon is selfish – it's literally said multiple times in the canon that he is but you know, selfish is an "actually bad flaw that only bad people have so he can't be". They won't accept the fact that his naivety is the thing that makes him morally grey because he can't tell the difference between good or bad. That he doesn't really care for anyone except him and his friends / family. That he was literally called a monster, canonically. That he would destroy the world and then himself with no hesitation because he's hurt. That him being young is, yes, a point, but that doesn't mean he's "just a little angel uwu". That's simply NOT how his character is written. The worst problem I think, is that none of these people seems to acknowledge the fact Gon is supposed to represent the yin part of yin and yang (while his best friend, Killua, represents the yang). Gon is supposed to be "in light there is darkness". How the light can actually be monstruous, maybe more than darkness, but it is still light. While Killua is supposed to be "in darkness there is light" and how darkness can be pure, maybe more than light, but it's still darkness – they seem to get the yang part more for some reasons ? The yin and yang analogy is my favorite trope ever and it's so sad to see this fandom watering it down because they won't accept the fact Gon is morally grey.
#misrepresented morally grey#round 2#bracket c#both bracket#homestuck#vriska serket#hunter x hunter#gon freecss
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I Read Azula in the Spirit Temple
And here are my thoughts:
Azula and Ty Lee's interactions are the best part of this comic. I generally don't like Tyzula but see why it exists. Azula's most compelling actions are with her female friends. And this comic builds a compelling foundation for Tyzula because Ty Lee is actually in a position of power here, as the one who understands What is Going On whereas Azula is still in denial about everything. There's a reason here that she appears in the temple but appears to be the only thing that's real. They have a nice Batman/Catwoman dynamic here.
I was right when I said Azula was using the Fire Warriors, and here she tries to use the fact that she broke them out of the institution to keep them loyal to her, but the point, that we see over and over again in Azula's story, is that you can't win loyalty and love through fear. The other girls have become fed up with Azula and leave her, and by the end of the comic, Azula also realizes that it was her own actions that drove them away, which is why I think she decides not to pursue them. The shot at the end of her watching them together is sad because we know Azula really does want friendship and love, but she still can't let herself admit this. Instead she declares that she will find her own followers again, because "I always do." I'm actually quite fond of this ending. Azula gonna Azula.
On that note, one of the central themes of this comic is Azula's awareness that she is responsible for driving the people closest to her away. The gist of this comic is that Azula essentially finds herself in a lotus eater's dream, but rejects it because she knows it's not real. Azula's main conflict is her desire for recognition and love from the people she cares about warring with not just her feelings of her own self importance, but her desire for the truth. Even when the spirit gives her what she wants, she doesn't accept it because she knows it's a lie. This actually is a really good insight into Azula's character because we know Azula before the series finale was content with the lie, she was able to convince herself that fear is the only way. But now she's getting to the point where she can't do that anymore, even at the expense of her own happiness.
Azula repeating in her sleep how she will make the fire warriors pay like a madness mantra is hilarious, and the comic intentionally plays up her pathetic self-delusions of grandeur in a way that is reminiscent of Zuko yelling at peasants to step aside in the show while he himself is reduced to a beggar.
The spirit does seem to want to help her, but since what it shows is controlled by Azula's own mind, it can't settle peacefully, because Azula can't find peace within her own mind. Everything the spirit shows her is really a reflection of her own inner conflict.
There's an interesting bit where Azula calls the spirit out and says something like "do you really think what I want is lies and manipulations?" The ironic thing is that Azula has built relationships on lies and manipulations in the past. Ty Lee at one point says that they were never friends, and that she was happiest without Azula.
At one point, Azula blames Mai for "breaking up the team for a stupid boy who didn't even want her" Zutara supremacy!
Azula wants the people she cares about to acknowledge how they hurt her and seek forgiveness, but she can't make the connection that she needs to acknowledge how she hurt others and seek forgiveness. Azula convinces herself that people can't live without her because she's afraid to be alone.
I've talked a lot already about Azula's visions of her family and the memory of the first time her parents see her firebend. I don't have much else to add here that wasn't said before.
There's a particularly interesting part where Azula destroys the spirit's monstrous vision of Zuko (who tells her that she needs to seek forgiveness from the people she's hurt) and the vision of her mother responds with a horrified "Azula, what did you do?" as Azula is standing over the spirit vision of her brother, dead from her lightning. Azula quickly dismisses this as the illusion that it is, but it's an interesting image and calls to mind how Azula did strike her brother with lightning and nearly killed him. Since we know that the things the spirit shows Azula are from her own subconscious, could this be an echo of Azula feeling guilty for how she's hurt Zuko?
Azula says that everyone turned against her except her father, and he's now "a pathetic shadow" without his bending. This is interesting because it's the first time Azula has acknowledged any fault with her father. This comic is also the first time she acknowledges that her father made her into a weapon. She says that she's the only one left to carry on her family's legacy. She's clearly conflicted about these two thoughts and even when she gets close to acknowledging that her father was abusive, she then turns it around and blames her mother and everyone else for "abandoning" her, and won't acknowledge that Ozai lost his bending as a result of his own actions, and instead sees herself as the only one left of any worth.
Azula's mother keeps telling her that she loves her, and since we know that what the spirit shows Azula comes from her own mind, we know Azula knows this deep down. Even in the moments when she admits that her mother was not happy, she knows her mother was scared for her and that she did care about her.
Overall, Azula is compelling in this comic because she's a villain who doesn't know what she wants, and is very close to having that "I'm the bad guy," moment, but still resisting change. And I kind of love it, to be honest.
I may post some more coherent thoughts later, but I just wanted to get this down for now!
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Some vicarious victories from the MCC 23 Orange Ocelots!
Quig for some reason believing Aqua Axolotls wasn't a team this MCC, suggesting that perhaps NoxCrew switches it up every so often??? Sir???
"Considering I've looked at a monitor my entire life, I might need glasses. But if I never go to the eye doctor, I'll never know!" -Quig
Quig talking about how he likes taste tasting energy drinks like the gamer he is
Martyn detailing how he's at a disadvantage for half of the games in this event, and Eret reassuring him last time she didn't even watch the video before playing MD and her team ended up winning!
Eret asking Quig if he'd like to be an honorary British person for the event, and Quig replying "Um...I don't know."
Eret designating him British because he's part Scottish and Quig asking for sadges in the chat
The three of them having an extended talk about accents
"I have a mute button, so I can give that a quick press every time I'm coughing up a lung." -Martyn
"I may have destroyed our team morale, because I met Finn at Twitch Con the other day and absolutely destroyed him at this weird shuffleboard game, so I don't think we're on the best of talking terms right now." -Martyn
Eret mentioning how they used to watch Martyn when they were 10, and Quig also saying he used to watch Martyn as a kid, and Martyn being hit with a wave of ohmygodI'vebeendoingthisfor11years
"I'm all for being bossed around, feel free to use my ears." -Martyn
Finn not unmuting until they're literally a minute into the decision dome
Everyone agreeing cakes are The Strat in SG
Quig talking about how he was sent an orange ocelot by Mojang a while ago, and Eret being taken aback at the flex
Finn and Eret joining forces as the crop top wearers
Martyn complaining Finn said he was going to cosplay him, he stole half of his clothes at Twitch Con and everything!
Everyone being disgusted at the Mike Wazowski skins Lime have on, although Quig acknowledges how impressive it is they got a skin for Antfrost so quickly
Everyone bullying Finn for looking like Vector from Despicable Me
Eret reflecting on how the rule about continuing the event if a player takes too long started because of that one time he bluescreened during SOT
"Thank you for killing Elaina for me." -Eret
Eret and Martyn gaslighting Quig into believing British people say 'evelator' instead of 'elevator'
Quig making sure that Finn is very clear on the fact they have to activate the elytra in AR now
"Listen, I don't know if you need a carry on this one, but not to brag, one time I got 38th." -Finn
Martyn getting mistaken for Phil many times during Twitch Con, to the point even Fundy mistook him at one point
"Oh, I've fallen." -Martyn
"And I can't get up? :D" -Quig
Quig noting CPK got first place, and Martyn predicting that'll be in his All Things MCC highlights video
"How tall are you Quig?" -Finn
"Six foot." -Quig
"...Okay someone else go." -Finn
Everyone weird dunking on CPK's team when Quig goes straight for him
"I got the dunk and I knew what I needed to do." -Quig
Quig mentioning his girlfriend is knocking everything over, and Eret taking no prisoners and asking if his girlfriend's a cat
"I'm not that lonely, Eret! Jeez!" -Quig
"Jeez, I'm not that lonely! It's a dog." -Martyn
Quig mentioning he has 4 dogs, Eret saying that's too many dogs, and Quig saying actually, that's ~four~ many dogs
"Does Sapnap's skin have nipples?" -Martyn
Martyn discussing the his pattern of dodgebolts, as he's been in dodgebolt twice before, both times on Orange, both times he's lost, and both times a teammate did a wildly improbable shot
Quig removing his shades, which then prompts Eret to demonstrate how she can transform into Herobrine with a single click of a button
"I'm being gaslit this entire MCC, I thought I was supposed to trust me teammates!" -Quig
"Have you ever played in this event before?" -Martyn
"A- almost all of them!" -Quig
Finn explaining that he keeps muting because he's just screaming and doesn't want to ruin their streams
Eret's stats reading that they eliminated 0 players and 1 teammate in SB
Quig inadvertantly killing Finn in the next round by placing a block, and Martyn dying to his TNT later on
"Man, we are great at team killing!" -Eret
Martyn being disappointed at the lack of employees manning the Burgers But Fast stand, and asking "what are we not paying the NoxCrew for?"
Martyn giving his dark unhinged theories on Spongebob's crabby patty recipe
Eret pointing out a fan with a L'Manburg skin for being outdated
Orange winning against Red in PKT in a stunning bit of foreshadowing
"Something possessed me today, I've never played like that in my life." -Martyn
3 OF THEM MAKING IT INTO THE TOP 5 PLAYERS
Martyn saying he's beginning to Covid Crash and Quig advising him to get his wife to get him a 5 hour energy
"Ever since I took my glasses off, we've been doing great!" -Quig
Finn comparing his eyes to a "creature", and calling Quig's "uncanny valley"
Eret doing breathing exercises to calm themselves down for RSR
Quig saying if they follow him on the bridging TGTTOS maps, they'll get the team bonuses...hopefully..."knock on wood. *knock knock knock*"
"I'm on the struggle bus, boys." -Martyn
Eret seeing Elaina struggle to finish and typing <L> in the chat
Elaina seeing Eret struggle to finish and putting <L> in the chat
"Follow Bedwars man!" -Finn about Quig
The slowly building realization that they could actually go to DB!
Quig repeating the whole way through that communication is where it's at! Communication is what we need!
Finn constantly having wardrobe and technological malfunctions throughout MD
The incredible communication during MD, with Orange winning two rounds in a row!
Everyone letting out a harmonized "woo!" after the second round
Quig shaking in fear when entering the coin room and asking for someone to hold his hand
"Come on Antfrost, I love you buddy but you gotta lose!" -Finn
3 of them ending up in the Top 5 players again!
The SCREAMING when they realize they're in DB!
"The rags to riches story!" -Finn
"Already, I feel my pulse in my throat." -Martyn
"I'm out of breath, even though this is Minecraft!" -Eret
"I've got cold sweats and goosebumps, and I'm not sure which one's Covid!" -Martyn
"Covid symptoms remarkably similar to Dodgebolt nerves." -Finn
Finn hurting his hand from how hard he clapped when they won a round
"Thank you very much for the vibes today boys!" -Martyn
Eret and Quig saying they had to help their childhood hero win
"Is this just calling me old, we have to help the old man with his Zimmerman up the stairs?" -Martyn
"It was payback for the years of entertainment." -Quig
Finn running past the team in the Hall Of Fame while they stand in front of their statues and everyone screaming at him that they're right there! Right here!
Martyn clarifying that it was not his wife who ran in screaming happily, he has Covid, she would not do that
Martyn planning on buying a "thicc chain" to put the MCC coin on
Quig deciding to put the coin on his Orange Ocelot stuffed animal
Orange Ocelots finished MCC 23 in 1st place!
#mcc#mcc 23#eret#inthelittlewood#quig#f1nn5ter#birb's mcc recaps#the vibes were AMAZING#it's actually nuts how martyn quig and eret had never spoken before this mcc#their communication was so good#and that meltdown was a thing of beauty
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Was the movie Ravenous one of the inspirations for the Wendigo Belos in the Shadow Puppets AU?
Not really. I'm just fascinated by Wendigo folklore the way that some people are fascinated with vampires or werewolves. Belos's monster form in canon take its general visual cues from the classic Hollywood interpretation of the Wendigo (being an animal-like humanoid, usually deer) and I'm trying to blend that in with both more accurate Wendigo lore and the pretty messy world building of the show.
You know, since episode one made the bold claim that every myth humans have is a little bit of the Demon Realm leaking into the Human world, but never does anything with that idea.
As I already stated, the Deer-like visuals is a very Hollywood interpretation, actual indigenous Folklore for the Wendigo usually depicts them as giants with a heart of ice or indistinguishable from an ordinary human. It varies depending on the culture and whether the creature in question is actually a Wendigo or a similar spirit but a common versions it is a malevolent spirit embodying human gluttony, greed, selfishness and violence with an insatiable hunger for human flesh
Somewhere in my lore tag I have a headcanon post about the Wendigo where I tried to blend this a bit, but to elaborate; Philip's true form is actually a puddle of amorphous rot, his ability to take a recognizable shape is correlated to how well he's been feeding.
A key part of his character in the Shadow Puppets AU is his refusal to acknowledge the loss of his humanity and act against his instinctual need to consume people because at one point in his life, he was a good little Christian boy who knows Gluttony, Greed and Wrath are three of the Seven Deadly sins, and Thou Shalt Not Kill is one of the Ten Commandments.
That's a subject I personally find really interesting; what happens when a creature that's the embodiment selfishness is born from someone who was once pure and selfless, who's most selfish desire is to stay human? It's complicated and messy and a complete nightmare for Philip, but a lot of fun for me as a writer.
His mistake is lying to himself and others that the monster isn't really him, it is a Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation, the Wendigo is the the dark and twisted evil side of his humanity given form, but he thinks he can fight it and desperately tries to by not letting himself act like a Wendigo and to this end he mostly relies on Astrophel to keep him in line. Astrophel's character arc revolves around him realizing he's done a poor job at being Philip's Guardian Angel and failed him as a friend.
Side note: Although Philip has his own reasons for being angry and wanting to destroy the Boiling Isles, and it technically his idea, he asked Astrophel's permission and has been carrying out this goal under the pretense that he's doing it for his friend
Philip fights it by consuming Palismen instead, which he considers nothing more than animals, and because no one knows what he really is, even the ones that know he's cursed, they let him get away with it. Early in the events of the AU he horded Palismen that he stole from the people of the Boiling Isles or found abandoned, but even that wasn't enough and he struggled keeping a human form resulting in the deer-like monstrosity, it's a reflection of how Philip sees himself which is why it bares resemblance to the mask his brother made him.
As Emperor Belos, with people literally serving him Palismen on platters, he was able to keep himself fed enough that he kept his human shape with ease, and doesn't have problems with it again until the supply of Palismen starts drying up. No Palisman Beast in this AU, his struggles to control his monster form is literally because he's secretly a starving Wendigo and loosing his grip on his humanity as his need to feed himself grows.
Something that makes this scary in the RP (as if isn't already terrifying in general) is that before Philip was cursed he was a lot more like Luz than he is in canon; weird and struggling to fit in, but empathic and selfless. The Wendigo curse stripped that away from him, and it's not something he asked to or was aware could happen either, so rather than her moping about helping Philip, in our AU Luz spends her time back in the human realm struggling with the horrific realization that she could become a Wendigo just as easily as Philip did and fear that she might already have the curse growing in her.
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Some post-FFXVI analysis.
I figure there were themes throughout about how a parent is supposed to love their child and want to see them grow, and then exploring questions of power imbalance not only between parents/creators and their children/creations but also the world itself (non-bearers) vs the few with great and terrible potential (bearers and dominants). I think the theme has echoes in Otto and his son, Dion with his father as well as Anabella, Edda being protected by her child and Gav stepping into a familial role despite not having any obligation, Charon doing similar with Goetz, the Waloed orphanage director and his daughter/bearers where he utterly betrayed those children, OG Cid and both Bearers as well as Mid (adopted), abandonment of Benedikta by Cid, and even Mid’s choice not to make the airship because she doesn’t trust the potential and power it holds.
Plus like (in case I need to explicitly say it) Ultima vs humanity and Anabella vs Clive, Joshua, and Olivier.
It’s basically caretakers and the choice to nurture potential or not, and different characters make different choices because there isn’t a single answer to how those kinds of relationships unfold. I get that.
The spots I want to zoom in closer are these questions though.
1) What the fuck is even happening with Barnabas thematically/symbolically with the Oedipus complex?
He’s technically fucking both Ultima (parent to humanity) and his own mother (how Ultima presents to him) with his goal to sacrifice the will of not only himself but humanity overall in Ultima’s name. Ultima is the Jungian devouring mother who doesn’t seek to see her children grow but to use them, live through them, and keep them forever stunted. This is also Jungian Tiamat, who devours her own children (dragon’s mouth = yonic)--basically Barnabas is on the one hand artificially kept a child when he should have been an adult, entirely in thrall to his mother who seeks to destroy him to her own ends. On the other hand, he is willingly surrendering himself and humanity this way so the horror comes from doing such a thing with full, adult agency. It’s a similar perversion--he has taken Ultima’s side and chosen to engage in Ultima’s goal (not treating child/creation like a child/creation) and, despite being possessed of his own will and thus an adult, engages in Ultima’s inappropriate mission willingly. He becomes an active participant at Ultima’s side victimizing humanity and himself.
There might be further nuance to it but the situation feels like trying to twist my brain into a pretzel.
2) What is going on with Anabella and Ultima!Olivier?
Anabella is analogous to Ultima in her entire mindset, and I guess she sort of... she doesn’t personally love any of her children, but she loves what Joshua and Olivier represent to her in ambition and tools.
Olivier has been basically dead the whole time and Anabella didn’t even notice, because she doesn’t care about his will or him as a person. Olivier being Ultima like... is it kind of like saying her own child is dead because of how she views/treats her children as extensions of herself, and she effectively is parenting an analogue of herself instead in Ultima? The reason she commits suicide isn’t just the destruction of Olivier as a tool for herself--it’s because she also has to see him as the horrific, destructive reflection of herself, and that self is an abomination. She refused the role of a true parent while simultaneously holding nothing else of value within. She cannot be the monster of Ultima but nor can she comprehend or invest in her children, and now she can’t even pretend that she does. I don’t think it’s remorse for her, but sort of realizing she is something monstrous. She dies a monster, never acknowledging her children as people--but she might be aware of herself refusing to acknowledge them.
This might have other angles to it too.
3) With as much feminine symbolism and iconography as Ultima has, why make his default form male here?
It’s not just in-game feminine motifs (Ultima even refers to himself relative to the role of mother rather than father), but Ultima’s history within the franchise with femininity. See Final Fantasy Tactics in particular, all sorts of Final Fantasy XIV stuff, possibly Ultimecia though there’s some translation funkiness there.
Regardless, that was an active creative choice there and I think it has to do with symbolic meaning. I don’t think it’s for secret shitty implications or anything like that.
It could be that the developers wanted to indicate it’s not a woman-exclusive propensity but a parental one, and since Anabella especially helped drive home the devouring mother Ultima was used to broaden the lens?
I think there’s more to it, and I don’t particularly figure Ultima has a fixed gender or even one as humans conceive at all--but he presents masculine when that didn’t have to be the case.
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was rewatching the last few episodes of season 1 and got to feel the grant ward experience (tm) all over again. after finishing the finale, i kinda have to work it off, so here is a rant about everything that pisses me off about him.
he lied to everyone about everything from the beginning, killed so many good agents and friends and random bystanders, kidnapped skye so shed decrypt the harddrive, and still seriously thought he had a chance with her, after the people he works for literally almost killed her. he flirted with her during that kidnapping, he tried to get empathy from her while an agent he just killed was hidden in the supply closet with his blood ruining the linoleum. and then he tried to get her to feel sorry for him, because it was hard for him to make all those choices. those choices being to kill her friends and destroy the only family shes ever had. he still saw himself as the victim, despite being the worst most psychotic perpetrator he could ever possibly be. literally working for hydra and killing people just because his boss told him to. this one scene in the plane describes him perfectly, even before season 2 dove into these characteristics in detail. he is completely beyond saving.
one of the central mechanisms of his character is that he wants approval, and will do absolutely anything - anything - to get it. that ruthlessness was inside him already. garret didnt exactly manipulate him into becoming what he was. he took a dysfunctional juvenile, dumped him in the woods for 6 months, where he survived by raiding cabins and presumably killing their occupants all to impress garrett when he returned, and then he joined up with hydra for the same reason, and presumably that stayed his main motivation. and he cared so little for anything else that he continued to be willing to do anything, from murder to kidnapping to using other people to fuel his delusions to rescuing hive, an ancient inhuman hellbent on consuming earth just to "punish" shield for how they treated him.
and that desperation for approval came from the way his family and especially his parents were, and thats what may meant when she said that they all had trauma and it didnt turn any of them into psychopaths. his sad backstory explains why he is the way he is, it doesnt excuse it and it doesnt excuse the actions he takes in the present, at any point he couldve done any amount of self reflection, recognized what he is, and chosen to better himself, and instead he chose to keep blaming the rest of the world for his misdeeds, and thats on him.
yes, its tragic, he was groomed into the man he became. its not his fault that he is who he is. but he is that man, and its gone far beyond what garret pushed him to be. he chose to do all these terrible things and to keep serving him, to ignore every opportunity to even just stop and walk away, and he is making his own terrible choices even after the man who groomed him is gone. he is a twisted delusional sociopath, a murderer, who uses other people to support his narrative that actually hes some kind of hero and everything bad he does is someone elses fault, who desperately clings to the narrative that he is the victim and because of that hes allowed to do whatever, and who would rather burn the world before acknowledging any of that.
#anti grant ward#rant#agents of shield#fuck him so much#he actually threatened to rape skye in the last episode#there really is nothig that is too low for him to do
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Pakistani Corrupt Military Use Age-Old Tactics To Keep Imran Khan Away From Election
Former Prime Minister, Once Corrupt Military’s Golden Boy, Has Been Sentenced In Two Separate Politically Motivated Cases To 10 and 14 Years
— Hannah Ellis-Petersen, South Asia Correspondent | Guardian USA | Wednesday January 31, 2024
A vendor holds a picture of the jailed Former Prime Minister Imran Khan in Peshawar, Pakistan. Photograph: Bilawal Arbab/EPA
The script seems eerily familiar. Imran Khan, once the golden boy of Pakistan’s Corrupt Powerful Military Establishment, found himself at the receiving end of not one, but two, damning court verdicts this week.
Sentenced to 10 years in jail on Tuesday, and 14 years on Wednesday, the brazen timing of the convictions in two separate cases made one thing abundantly clear: the military will stop at nothing to keep Khan away from Pakistan’s general election, which will be held next week.
It was not so long ago that Khan himself benefited from these age-old tactics utilised repeatedly in Pakistan’s chequered political history. In 2018, when Khan was running for prime minister, it was the former prime minister Nawaz Sharif who had fallen out of grace with the military and found himself facing charges of corruption and being barred from office. Less than two weeks before the election in July 2018, Sharif was sentenced to 10 years in jail.
Now the tables have turned again. Khan has become the military’s harshest critic, confined behind bars, while a cowed Sharif has reconciled with the army generals and his path back to power has been cleared. As allegations of pre-poll rigging have abounded, Sharif is expected to be all but escorted into an election win.
Khan was already banned from running in the election, but the back-to-back convictions and hefty prison sentences speak to the strength of the military’s campaign against its former protege.
Since he was toppled from power in April 2022 – after a vote of no confidence widely acknowledged to have been orchestrated by the military – Khan’s criticisms of the army establishment and its tight control over Pakistani politics has been unprecedented.
Yet his campaign against the military was always doomed to fail given its iron grip, and since August, when Khan was finally arrested, it was made clear that the military would stop at nothing to sideline Khan and destroy his Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) party.
Any pretence of due judicial process being followed was abandoned entirely at both cases where Khan was sentenced this week. Instead of an open courtroom, the trials were conducted inside the jail where Khan is being detained and his lawyers were not allowed to choose or cross-examine any witnesses.
Given the hefty crackdown on PTI in recent months, including all rallies being shut down by police and all coverage of the party largely banned from news channels, the party is a shadow of its former self, even if it still commands huge support from voters.
For many observers, Khan’s double convictions only serve to confirm that the elections are likely to be among the least credible in Pakistan’s recent history, pushing the country several steps back on its turbulent path towards democracy.
It is reflected too in the unusually muted political campaigning period. As the military has proved to be unafraid to show its hand in “managing” the election, even as it claims to be apolitical, all semblance of a fair fight has dissipated, with parties barely even putting forward a manifesto.
Among Pakistan’s voters, many of whom still revere Khan, there is a sense of anger and apathy. Yet most will echo the same refrain; in Pakistani politics, nothing ever really changes.
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Imran Khan, Pakistan Former PM, Sentenced To 14 Years in Prison For Corruption (Politically Motivated Charges)
Ruling against Khan and wife Bushra Bibi comes just a day after a 10-year sentence was handed down, and just before Pakistan goes to the polls in a general election
— Hannah Ellis-Petersen, South Asia Correspondent | Wednesday 31 January 2024
Pakistan former prime minister Imran Khan and his wife, Bushra Bibi, has been sentenced to 14 years in jail on corruption charges. Photograph: Mohsin Raza/Reuters
Pakistan’s former prime minister Imran Khan has been sentenced to 14 years in jail in a corruption case, a day after he was given a 10-year sentence for leaking state secrets.
Khan’s wife, Bushra Bibi, was also handed a 14-year sentence in the case, known as Toshakhana, which accused them both of illegally selling state gifts. The judge also banned them both from holding political office for 10 years.
The sentence, given at a hearing held in the Rawalpindi prison where Khan, 71, is being held, further worsens the plight of the beleaguered former prime minister, who has been in jail since August and is facing more than 100 different charges.
The judge had denied Khan’s lawyers’ request to cross-examine witnesses in the trial and his lawyers were not present on Wednesday, when the sentence was given.
Khan questioned why there was an apparent rush to wrap up the case. “Why are you in a hurry to announce the verdict? I have not even recorded my final statement,” he told the judge, before exiting the courtroom. The verdict was then given without either Khan or Bibi present.
Bibi surrendered to the authorities at Adiala Jail in Rawalpindi on Wednesday morning.
The Toshakhana verdict came a day after a special court, also held in prison, found Khan guilty of leaking state secrets in relation to a sensitive diplomatic cable that allegedly went missing in his possession. Khan had described the trial as a sham and lawyers said he would be appealing against the verdict.
The timing of both consecutive convictions was deemed as significant by observers, coming a week before Pakistan goes to the polls in its long-delayed general election. Though Khan is already banned from running, he remains hugely popular among voters.
This is Khan’s second sentencing in the Toshakaha case, which related to allegations that the former prime minister bought several gifts given by rulers and government officials at low prices and sold them on for an undeclared profit. Khan had denied all wrongdoing.
The anti-corruption watchdog alleged that Khan and his wife had received 108 gifts from heads of state and foreign officials, some worth millions of rupees, during his term as prime minister and that many had been illegally kept or sold by the pair.
Khan was initially given a three-year sentence in the case in August, but after a higher court threw out the judgment, the legal proceedings began again after investigators presented fresh evidence relating to jewellery given by the Saudi crown prince and allegedly kept by Khan and his wife.
On Wednesday, the judge issued an even more severe sentence against both Khan and his wife, which included a collective fine of 787m rupees ($2.8m).
Khan, who was toppled from power in 2022, has claimed that the mounting cases against him are politically motivated.
Since he was removed from office in a vote of no-confidence, Khan began to publicly criticise the country’s powerful military, who have long been accused of meddling in politics. He alleged the military leadership bore a “grudge” against him and were orchestrating his imprisonment so he could not run in the elections.
Khan’s party, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI), has also faced harassment and intimidation, with senior leadership imprisoned or put under pressure to leave the party, while workers have been prevented from campaigning or holding political rallies in the buildup to the election.
A statement by PTI on X after Wednesday’s verdict said Khan and Bibi had faced “yet another kangaroo trial in which no right to defence was given to both”.
The party said there had been a “complete destruction of every existing law in Pakistan in two days”.
#Pakistan 🇵🇰 | One & Only and Legend of Legends: Imran Khan | South and Central Asia | Analysis#Corrupt Pakistani Military#Corrupt to their Cores Army Generals#Hannah Ellis-Petersen#The Guardian USA 🇺🇸
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“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” —Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV)
“Jesus stood up and commanded the wind, “Be quiet!” and he said to the waves, “Be still!” The wind died down, and there was a great calm.” —Mark 4:39 (GNT)
“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” —Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
“...I am content and at peace. As a child lies quietly in its mother's arms, so my heart is quiet within me.” —Psalm 131:2 (GNT)
“All Is Calm: Receiving Jesus' Rest This Christmas” Devotional By Moody Publishers - Day Four: “Seek His Stillness:”
“Have you ever sensed the Holy Spirit prompting you to take a break from the holiday preparations and sit for a while in Jesus’ presence, only to brush it off and focus on the next task on your list? I know I have.
We often push ourselves at breakneck speeds, waking early and staying up late, squeezing every daylight hour for all its worth. Then we’re so exhausted by our hustle, we can hardly savor the beauty of the season.
And sometimes, this busyness is really just a guise to hide deeper hurts. If only we can keep ourselves busy, we won’t have to acknowledge the crippling wounds we carry. We fear stillness, so we leave no task undone, even though heeding the tyranny of the urgent threatens to undo us.
Yet the answer is not chucking our traditions out the window and becoming a Grinch. Instead, we must incorporate moments of stillness into the busyness so we can work from a place of wholeness and rest. The truth is that God’s salvation comes to us when we repent and rest, His strength when we’re quiet and trusting.
This Christmas season, dare to be still, even if just for two minutes each day. Bring your to-do list to the Lord and lay it at His feet. Savor the beauty of His presence as you reflect on His names and allow Him to heal deep hurts.
Declare His Lordship over your life; express your desperate need for Him, and allow yourself to be still. Bask in His presence.
He is Immanuel—God with us. He sees. He knows. He hears. Let Him quiet you with His love.
Prayer: Quiet my heart with Your love, Lord. Speak Your peace over my life as You spoke stillness over the stormy waters. Bring healing and restoration to the pain in my heart from losing a loved one, enduring tragedy or trauma, from hopes dashed and dreams destroyed. You, the Resurrection and Life, breathe new life into these deadened parts of my soul. Spark new hope in me for the future. Teach me to be still and receive your life-giving presence. Amen.”
#zephaniah 3:17#mark 4:39#psalm 46:10#psalm 131:2#bible verses#bible study#bible truths#bible scripture#bible quotes#christian life#christian living#christian blog#god#belief in god#faith in god#jesus#belief in jesus#faith in jesus#christian devotionals#christian inspirational quotes#christianity#bible#christian faith#christian motivation#christian quotes#christian encouragement#keep the faith#make him known#youversion#prayer
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Reading for Ross MacDonald
This is the original request.
Angel of addiction healing:
He is recovering from some addiction problems, whether that is drugs or alcohol, maybe sex addiction. He is on a healing journey.
Blessing in disguise:
Sometimes what seems to be problematic might just be the blessings he need. What he thinks is a problem about himself, someone finds as an answered prayer. Maybe he judges himself a bit too harsh.
Life purpose:
He is always asking himself what is the purpose of life.
Invest in your spirit:
He needs to invest more in himself, his health, his wellbeing, things like getting enough sleep and eating the right nutritious food. He neglects those things too often. And he needs to pay more attention to himself and what’s good for him.
Tell the truth:
He tends to keep secrets as not to hurt people. But that turns to hurt himself instead. He needs to be stronger as to tell the truth eventhough it might hurt.
The world:
Looks like something big is about to happen for him. A major event. Might be a new project, a marriage, a kid, or something similar. His efforts are being noticed and he will soon reap the rewards. This is abojt celebration, accomplishment, fullfillment, maybe even travel.
Seven of wands reversed:
However he easily gets exhausted and overwhelmed. He can let his thoughts destroy his confidence. Self doubt is a big issue for him. He is very insecure.
Knight of pentacles:
He does have the energy of a knight of pentacles which stands for hardwork, productivity, routine, responsibility, slow and steady, financial growth, achievements. He has got a lot of earth energy which means he is very down to earth. Easygoing. Very trustworthy and reliable.
The lovers reversed:
But he does struggle with self love, imbalance, takes bad choices, and have a fear for commitment.
6 of wands:
Again, he is going to recieve good news, achieve public acknowledgement and recognition.
When it comes to love. I pulled these four cards: EGO, Reflection, Forgiveness and reunion. All four cards represent something from the past. It’s about reunion with someone, putting aside pride and egos, forgiving one another and reflecting over past failures. So this major event or reward we talked about in 6 of wands, and the world, might be that he is getting back with someone he really cares about and has been missing from his life.
I hope you enjoy this reading. And please keep in mind that this is done for entertainment purposes only. I use tarotcards and oracle cards actively in my readings, as well as my intuition. Energies come and go, what is relevant for today’s reading might change in a few weeks time. But some aspects will always remain constant and the same. Thank you.❤️
#celebrity tarot#intuitive readings#tarot reading#tarot reading for celebrities#celebrity tarot reading#ross macdonald
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NEW BEGINNINGS, SEPTEMBER 1-30, 2023
A famous author said that good writers should remain anonymous because the recognition should be about their work, not of them personally... However a good name sells more readership and subscriptions... Likewise it seems in our story today: our efforts for the kingdom shouldn't shine more than the glory of the King whose love, salvation and eternal plan we are proclaiming; our zeal and passion shouldn't cloud His truth and logic, His light and grace... May we teach, encourage, enlighten as much as our intellect, efforts and days allow; but may people instead see how good our God is, how great is His wisdom, and how beautiful a life is that is lived for Him; that especially in the service of our families and others, only reflects His love, acceptance and understanding, honor and glory...
#HappySeptember302023
Beyond what's nuclear... Some careers are lucrative, but rife with insecurity, hypocrisy and intrigue, with political machinations, with nepotisms and the cut-throat, rat-race, ladder-climb; while some pay far less and still take a lot of work, sacrifices, and a toll on time and body... Yet the more satisfying one seems to be the latter, in which one has to give more; for indeed, generosity itself is its own reward, even if people don't acknowledge it or return the favor... Because the heart that only takes, accumulates, hoards to self, focusing only in the nuclear connections, is sad, and soon implodes... While the heart that gives abundantly, even beyond its physical and normal capacity, is truly blessed and happy, secure and at peace...
#HappySeptember292023
Issue management is anticipatory and strategic... Is one of the recent school lessons, and seem to be appropriate to the Word today... In our life journey, may we not sleepwalk; that is, may we be mindful of those things that destroy our minds, bodies and souls, and stay far away from them... And in our relationships with one another, may we also discern whatever it is that destroy hope and spirit, discourage and damage respect and our esteem for each other, and not flirt with them nor edge too close in their vicinity; for much as we must always pray to be kept safe from harm, to resist and keep away from temptation, and to be given strength and grace to always be faithful and hopeful, it is our responsibility to stay away from that line of fire too; and nurturing the ability to keep ourselves sane, free and steadfast always a call on us any time...
#HappySeptember282023
Not in company with straight jackets... Life's stresses and pressures often weigh us down, sometimes they overwhelm us; but that is not enough reason to be rude and disrespectful, to lash out at people who only care about doing their best, who snarl like wounded animals at anybody who seem to follow us up, or question about the way we do things... Just as God's people throughout history may have made a lot of mistakes in their relationship with others, yet are still subject to the call to obedience and humility, likewise we in our time, in our ever-challenging-by-the-day age, are called to the same mandate to respect and care for each other, to courtesy and humility, to consideration and understanding - - simply because He who called us to proclaim His kingdom and share His love brings His Name, and calls us each by first-names too... We are called to sanity and sobriety, to tact and virtue - - character traits of people with discernment, maturity and good breeding, not people who are in league with the straightjackets, people who are better off restrained from society due to their toxicity, rage and violence... May we truly live up to the Name of the faith by which we are called, be worthy of His mercy and grace, and reflect His image in our everyday dealings...
#HappySeptember272023
Who's your teacher... It's within teacher's month; but I observe that for many of our youth today, we treat our teachers like figureheads: they are there to guide us through school lessons and give us grades, but come time to learn, and we basically ignore what they say and just listen to and consider what we want to hear and believe, ignoring the wisdom that is in analysis and critical thinking, not realizing that we too need to absorb the insights they have gained through their years of practice and experience... Maybe we believe in ourselves too much, confident that because we are tech savvy and digitally active, we are better... But as our Word today says, that belief surely leads to tragic consequences... May we learn to be humble and to listen, to pay attention to what is being said and between the lines, to perceive well, that we may learn some more and gain more insights for living, and be more disciplined; because such humility and knowledge may preserve our minds, our lives and souls yet all our days...
#HappySeptember262023
Neither bully nor be bullied... Seems to be a recent thread in the air these days... For bullies, those people who hurt and offend others to assert their supremacy, are actually cowards, unable to find confidence in themselves, in their ability to deliver and to get their message across... While to remain humble is virtue, to respect others in spite of differences is noble, to understand that each of us are given talents and abilities with unlimited potential is wisdom, and to give and share is the perfect image of our Heavenly Father... May we always uphold what is right and just, be kind and patient, be faithful and true...
#HappySeptember252023
License to be kind... On this what many of us consider our Sabbath day, may we take our Saviour's heart to be kind and merciful toward others... May we not take His promise to be with us, that we do whatever we want even if cruel and unkind, just because we believe He is for us; because such is not faith but anarchy... But rather, may we practice the license to be generous and understanding, to love, to care, to respect, to share...
#HappySeptember242023
The light and life within... Is what we radiate to the rest of the world when we allow the love and grace of our Heavenly Father to indwell in us... These do not impose, do not throw their weight around, do not seek to impress, are not judgmental and coercive, but only bring the same love and mercy, and peace that results from wisdom, discernment and understanding... May we always be comforted by His Holy Spirit, calmed by His presence, encouraged and driven by His will and guidance; that we may share them with others too...
#HappySeptember232023
Kintsugi and Mottainai... One often misunderstood concept about kintsugi is that according to one expert practitioner who was interviewed in a documentary, the teacup, once restored, will actually not be filled with liquids again, because the liquid will leak through the broken parts, destroying the glue and gold... Often they are used decoratively, or are filled with solid objects... In effect, the old vessel now has a new, albeit simpler and less stressful use... And we tie this up to our knowledge of "Mottainai" too, the habit of wasting nothing, but to always find a second or third use, a different purpose... Yes, especially and even broken people shouldn't be wasted, and their potentials rightly developed, with the restoration of their hope and faith, their belief in themselves, their abilities, and self-esteem a cooperative effort of those around them who care... May we take the lessons of kintsugi and mottainai so that, short of hoarding, we see the true value of things, rightly sort those that must be discarded and let go, and those that we must upcycle and keep for a long time, even for life...
#HappySeptember222023
Life is a process, not a promise... That is, one input from a recent school lesson is that everything is not within our control; and no matter if we do our best, there are some issues that we could not solve by our own efforts and machinations alone, but we need divine intervention... And so it is but a clear proof of faith that as we trust in our God's promises, but on our level, we try not to make promises we can't keep, we don't enter into situations and connections that we can't fully handle, nor should we subject ourselves into experiences that destroy our minds and bodies and souls... May we therefore strive each day to give our best, to pour out as much love and care as we can, that we may be gifted with our God's love and discernment, His mercy and grace, His wisdom and truth...
#HappySeptember212023
The power of the introvert... As some psychologists say, is in staying low-key, being keenly observant and analytical, easily finding peace within themselves and often, because they don't let their mouths run too much, avoid saying things that are proven false later or are shameful and awkward... There is more trust in them too, for being tactful and for keeping secrets... Yes, we have to be bold in sharing our truth, in facing life's challenges; but we certainly can take a page out of the introverted personality in being humble and meek, in being mindful of our words and deeds...
#HappySeptember202023
Faithfulness is its own reward, not when it is verbally declared but when it is diligently done... And so, it is not loud manifestations of conviction nor unexplained but often orchestrated outbursts of passion that truly matters, but the everyday small things that show people we care, that we are there, that even if the rest of the world has changed and abandoned their prior preferences, we still go back to our first love which is of God, and second which is of our brethren... May we spend the rest of our days being silently yet stubbornly faithful to Him, that we radiate the same faithfulness in all our other dealings too...
#HappySeptember192023
May we have less wardrobe malfunctions... Seeing as what we wear is who we are, and we are being objectified and judged based on what people think are the quality of our clothes... And instead of beautiful and body-shaping apparel that calls attention to the carnal minds and perceptions, may we strive each day to be modest, humble, loving, generous, kind and wise; that our efforts for His kingdom and glory be not wasted, and that our lives be filled with meaning and hope...
#HappySeptember182023
To proselytize, or to evangelize... It seems there is a big difference, seeing as how one attempts to open and change one's mind, versus the latter that presents Christianity as the only option... Whatever way we wish to spread the gospel, it should always come from a heart of love and understanding: that people may be hostile, or reject our person and what we say, or be disgusted because we are only up to our words but we do not match it with our lifestyle, motivation and actions... May we instead live our faith so that, sans words, our actions will be the greater witness to the hope and confidence we profess, and that the same peace and mercy that we fully acknowledge and receive each day, be poured out on others as living waters for the soul too...
#HappySeptember172023
Starting with our thoughts and motivations, then our words and actions... If we can be different than the systems of the world, silent and quietly declaring truth and love where the rest are screaming to be heard and to have an impact; slow, low, and steady, while the rest run and hop fast and brash like racing rats and rabbits; and faithful and enduring while others come alive and on fire intermittently, but whose outbursts actually cause more burnouts and down times... Then we are well on our way to becoming more of the image our God and Savior means for us to be: ones who radiate His light, ones who pour out His love and wisdom to a world in darkness and need, and ones who live each moment with hope and purpose, with peace, confidence and joy...
#HappySeptember162023
Anything that does not lead to humility and kindness, is not worth emulating... As the prophets of old have spoken, and as we see around us today, failing to read the moment, being unable to analyze the times would render us obsolete; listening only to what validates our prejudices and biases and not accepting the truth, and doing things that only make us feel good without considering the consequences, could lead to our destruction and even death of our souls... May we have discernment to understand people, the world, and the times we are in, that we may always do what is right and just, what is good and fair..
#HappySeptember152023
Here lies true love... And not in any glorification of what is bad and tragic, nor in the rewriting of history for the gullible and impressionable new generation; but in the faith and confidence that we are taken cared of, our needs are met each day, and that we are given grace and strength to face every day's challenges... May we always discern the love and mercy we are given, which are new each morning, which we need to sustain us this life and beyond...
#HappySeptember142023
Everybody's a stranger, even the person who lives at home with you; and life a journey or pilgrimage, where we are all transient travelers... That is probably why the Word records our God telling us to be kind to others (especially since we can never fully know the other person, even our own family), be hospitable and understanding, compassionate and gracious, even if at times, we don't feel like it... For indeed, familiarity breeds contempt; that is, the more we know someone, the more we don't like the faults that we see in them, often forgetting that we may have worse faults too... And we are often outspoken about what we feel and think, thinking that any criticism is helpful... But the Word again speaks only about open rebuke (Proverbs 27:5-6), that is, only calling out behaviors blatantly immoral, but to do it lovingly; that we might not kill souls, that we might not destroy hope and spirit... May we spend the rest of our days being mindful of our words, being generous with our deeds and provisions, not to take what we see at face value and always try to put ourselves in the shoes of others, and always, to extend others the benefits of the doubt; that we might embody the same kind of love, generosity, wisdom and understanding that our Creator so graciously gives us each day, and that we might fulfill His will here on earth...
#HappySeptember132023
Congestion charging is key... People complain about traffic everyday, without realizing that because they're on the road, driving their own private vehicles with a passenger often of one, they are a direct contributor to it... Which is why in a rich city-state we try so hard to emulate, congestion-charging worked towards traffic-free roads, more funds for outstanding public transportation, and with a strong political will and far less corruption, resulted to healthier and more accessible streets to one and all... Strangely, this mirrors our lives too... We try to fill in our hours and moments with adventures and experiences, with statuses and degrees, with things and stuff, thinking that if we could have more, if we follow 'The Dream', we have succeeded... We often fail to realize that a life much simpler yet more grateful and vertically aligned, more attuned to the will of our Creator, more at peace in stillness and in His presence, gives us the grace, humility, patience and confidence to weather any storm, to meet life's challenges head on... Anytime we are tempted to fill ourselves up, may we learn to let some things go, give up and give and share; that we may live this life physically exhausted but unburdened; pressed to meet deadlines and obligations but not crushed by the weight of hopelessness, fear, doubt and uncertainty; struck down at times by physical pain and suffering, but spirits never destroyed; and always full of hope, courage, and strength for the journey...
#HappySeptember122023
Matching words with deeds... Is often what validates us, not what we declare about ourselves, not the resources or connections we have amassed... If we are critical of others, yet are full of shortcomings and inadequacies ourselves, we show our ignorance, insecurity and delusions... Yet, if we recognize the value and worth of others, respecting their boundaries and rights, but all the same showing them love and understanding, generosity even without receiving something in return, we manifest our God's image through our actions... May we not compromise His presence and His grace, and live our lives in humility and service, in graciousness and mercy, not filling our hours with our own agenda of what we think is good for us, but in each moment, to help make sure we bring out what's best in others too...
#HappySeptember112023
The wisdom of the years... Could never really be superseded by how much technological knowledge, degrees nor licenses, appointments nor statuses one has and has been given... For more than formal school and research, people who are older than us have gone through the ultimate school, the school of life... And with that too we learn humility and obedience, especially in realizing that no matter how smart or high we think ourselves to be, but lacking the credentials of having lived longer with more meaningful experiences, we have to bow down to the wisdom and inner strength of those who have persevered... We realize too the value of keeping it real, staying true to our course on a deeper level, without fanfare, without shout outs; because we know our God is also faithful and true... And while He works miracles and dreams through the young, but His promises and true intentions are realized as we advance physically and biologically... May we remain patient, humble, faithful, in whatever circumstances, no matter if the world belittles us, mocks our abilities, questions our capacities, or refuses to have hope and confidence in us... For someday in our time, we will earn our greater breakthroughs, then our ultimate reward...
#HappySeptember102023
Sweet and sour is tasty, but bittersweet is sad... And so are our words... Some may be a bit painfully honest; but if spoken with love, consideration, honesty and humility, still enriches the soul and encourages the fearful and desperate heart... But the one who speaks tactless, unkind, prideful, critical, and harsh words, even when believed to be spoken in honesty and integrity, will still fall off the mark, leading to resentments, broken trust and relationships, and death to the soul... May we manifest our faith and the love of our Father by keeping wisdom and love in all that we say; may we live out our convictions by how we show respect and understanding to others, no matter their status, no matter how high, better or superior we may perceive ourselves to be...
#HappySeptember092023
Life causes... Often don't pay much or if at all, but a heart of love and generosity would be willing to give their all without asking for more.. Because those who humble themselves to the will and leading of our Maker need not ask nor crave beyond in order to keep up with others; they will always be more than amply provided for, as they seek to fulfill His plans, in whatever they do to promote His kingdom... May we learn to be courageous and content, but ever hoping and grateful that He will never abandon us, and will always be there whatever we may be going through...
#HappySeptember082023
Kindness without condescension... Is the highest ideal, the purest form, and so few can really do them... But once one does, actually results to a better life for one and all... Some people withhold acts of kindness, and from a selfish heart, propagate the idea that people on the receiving end will just depend and become lazy... That happens in many cases too; but the more discerning can feel that far too many people have pride, of self and would very much like to earn their way, in spite of being simple recipients of favors, doing their best to return such in their own ways and capacities... May we learn that kindness and generosity always pay, that hypocrisy will always fray, and that only truth and sincerity can secure our souls for life... And may we then emulate the kindness and understanding of our Maker, and extend such virtue to one and all...
#HappySeptember072023
A cult of personalities, a cult of fools... Seem to be one of the unworthy incentives in the rat race of life... Especially for the many of us who were sold on the dream and the illusion that success means having more, and that status and class, the size of our bank accounts and houses, the number of our cars and the zero digits on our pay determine our worth... How liberating it is indeed when we emulate our Savior who stepped down from heaven and in humility and obedience, became like one of us, even giving up His physical life to destroy the power of death and evil on our souls... May we truly live out His Name, our proclaimed faith, and delight in being nobodies for Him; in humility stripping ourselves of vanity, stepping out from life's eat race, but doing our best, giving our all to help share His love, grace and goodness to one and all...
#HappySeptember062023
Never lonely... Company is good, because they keep us sane... But what happens when life seems to deal us a bad hand, when friends and family turn their back on us, must we feel despair and strive all we can to seek the presence of another?... Though not often too cruel, but many times in our lives, especially in critical inflection points, we find ourselves alone against the elements, confused as to intentions, unenlightened as to motivations and preferences of others.. Yet, we realize that God is there, in our moments of solitude and abandonment... And here we become more than conquerors; for because He works behind the scenes and in great things, we know we can overcome, we are confident we are never helpless, and we are settled because we have eternal hope and peace... Let us tap into that eternal source of love and strength today and everyday...
#HappySeptember052023
Half as kind... It is sad to note that many people, even some illustrious figures of history, who have a negative view of Christianity, feel so not because of the faith itself, or of Christ our Savior and author of our faith, but of many of us adherents, who seem to feel superior than everyone else because of the grace and salvation we received, and of the seeming high level but in reality still imperfect knowledge we have gained... But our Lord clearly instructed us to both be apart from the evils and vices of this world, but to care for our fellowman enough to understand that we can still extend kindness and generosity with those who believe differently than we are... May we not make the grace we received as a license for pride and vanity; but in humility, to accept that we may not exactly know everything, many of the things we accept as gospel truth may in fact just be handed-down personal and flawed opinions, and that there is only one Truth, our Lord and Savior, and the clearest manifestation of the truth He proclaims can be learned in the lense of love and understanding; because since all of us are made in His image, every day He also makes ways to reveal His truth and glory, His creativity and wisdom in each one of us...
#HappySeptember042023
Because we are at the forefront, we are the firstfruits... I remember back when mask mandates were new, when vaccines first started being administered to the public... I was simply dumbfounded where people got all their arsenal of misinformation and gullibility from... I asked myself if not all of us didn't go through biology and chemistry in elementary and high school, and why so few understand about viruses and bacteria, and how our immune system works; so much so that such life-changing acts of social distancing, proper sneeze and cough hygiene, masking up, and getting vaccinated are considered death of our souls, when in fact they preserve life to our bodies and on other people too... But then I realized it wasn't really ignorance in so much as fear and pride being attacked... When something so life-changing to our biases and prejudices like pandemics come, they unmask the lies we made ourselves to believe, and threaten the power structure and the pedestals we carefully built of ourselves in deluding ourselves of our self-established expertise... But here lies the crucible: if we are the firstfruits, if we are truly the heirs of our heavenly Father, and disciples and friends of His Son who brings life and healing, shouldn't we manifest it by promoting the greater good, peace and love, and healing He brings to everyone around us?... It seems many of us look the other way when deaths from multitudes of other lifestyle and genetic diseases, (that could have been and normally treatable) took people's lives away because their immune systems that have been compromised by Covid, did not have enough strength and memory to fight because of being unvaccinated and lacking other capacities to be treated too, owing to the shortages of medical care... Where is our sense of courage in Him when we slink back from our duties of being His spiritual and life soldiers in a world awash with lies, with every turn seeking to destroy our minds, bodies and souls?... May we not waste the Word entrusted to us like pearls thrown to swine; may we not all be words without meaning, clouds without rain, voices without impact; in that may we live each day a testament of His grace and goodness, His manifold wisdom and creativity, His deep love, generosity and understanding to one and all, whoever they may be...
#HappySeptember032023
God as a revelation of time... Is a slightly radical way of thinking about our faith, in not being just a present proclamation, but a manifestation of Who we believe in and worship our whole life... God the Father who created us in His image, is manifested when we bring life instead of destruction, when we create and restore, instead of just being on the receiving end of wealth, fame, status, grace and favor because we feel entitled to them; His Son our Savior is seen in us when we bring peace instead of intolerance, when we seek to understand instead of insisting on rigid rules and prejudices handed down to us by less knowledgeable and more ignorant predecessors, when we bring healing instead of misinforming to people's hurt and perdition; and His Holy Spirit is perceived through us when we encourage instead of pushing people to the edge, when we give comfort instead of imposing ourselves and our convictions on others, when we bring hope instead of using fear to coerce people to subscribe to our lies and biases because we feel more knowledgeable (when in fact our knowledge are mere misled opinions but are not actually facts)... May we truly be His children, so that each moment, every word we say and act we do, people will see His image in us, will feel His love and grace through us, and like pleasing aroma of heavenly prayers and incense, smell His goodness and wisdom through us...
#HappySeptember022023
Overcomers... The song by Mandisa, is an energetic, danceable and inspirational one... And it reminds us too that whatever hardship we encounter in life always has an end... And that end becomes more meaningful and victorious for us when we realize that our Savior has done the ultimate overcoming for us; when He offered up His physical life to lift us up from our physical and mundane perspectives, from either nihilistic or hedonistic and materialistic beliefs and tendencies, to one that aligns us to a higher meaning and purpose of our existence... May we always keep in mind that the One who breathed life to all things cares about us deeply and intimately; and be inspired and impassioned to live lives for His glory...
#HappySeptember012023
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It Is Easier for a Camel to Go Through the Eye of a Needle
Summary: Shaun passes away for reasons he does not quite remember. What he does remember, however, is that this is his fiancée, he is guilty about causing her grief, and of his religious education.
Rating: T - Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.
Words: 1900
Notes: I’m bad. I’m real bad. Mwahahahah.
Shaun Arroyo did not believe in an afterlife.
He never did, not even as a child, when he was stuck in catechist education, thanks to the perfunctory Catholicism of his family’s. He believed in what he could see and prove, he believed that, once you died, that was the end of it. No heaven, no hell, no eternal life. Just nothingness.
So, as he stood and watched Sophie cry, curled up in the chair he once sat in, he began to think nothingness would have been kinder. Perhaps old Mrs. Helms had a point and there was a heaven and a hell, and he did not qualify for the upper echelons of eternal living.
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God and that whole thing, he supposes. Though he admits he has never been much of a Christian, morality-wise, in any case, so perhaps it is rash of him to condemn the entire bourgeoisie just yet.
Death is a great opportunity for self-reflection. He is not a good man, and he did some shit in his time, but he wishes he could be spared of being tortured through the purest, most beautiful thing he held on his heart.
Shaun sighed from his place in the doorway as he watched his fiancée. He does not need to breathe anymore, but he feels weird when he does not, so he makes sure that he keeps up with it.
He cautiously stepped into the room, his steps silent against the wooden floorboards which would usually creak under his weight, but not anymore. Sophie had been crying all day, completely wracked with grief. It was almost too much for him to bear, or it is, and he just has no other choice but to stand there and do it anyways.
At first, he had desperately tried to comfort her. He yelled and shouted until he felt sick of his own wailing, hopelessly trying to tell her that he was right there, that she was not alone. He gave up trying to get through to her a week after the funeral.
Shaun turned as he heard footsteps on the stairs and frowned when their owner entered the apartment.
“Jace…” The ghost breathed. “Jace, I’m sorry.”
He took in his friend’s appearance. He also seemed a complete mess, but he was on his feet which was more than what could be said for his fiancée.
Shaun sighed as Jace looked right past him like he was not even there. In truth, maybe he really was not, as he did not receive a reply again. Why would he?
“You didn’t answer any of my calls.” Jace stated as he pulled his phone from his pocket and showed it to her.
Sophie does not answer and instead wipes at her eyes, not that there was any point in trying to hide the tears.
“I was worried, Sophie.” He mumbled and looked away.
“Don’t be.” She muttered back, looking down and hoping to arrange herself into a presentable state. “I’m fine, Jace. It’s alright.”
“Bullshit,” Jace’s voice rose slightly.
His tone adopting a dangerous edge, so much so that it even caught Shaun off guard.
“Sophie, this needs to stop. You’ve completely locked yourself away from everyone! Your friends, your family. You won’t talk, not to me, or Ruby. Even your father called to ask how you’re doing. Hell, you don’t even acknowledge the maid when she’s in here!” He shouts, his voice full of anger and despair. “You don’t sleep, you never eat. Sophie, you need to let this go, let him go. I know it’s hard, it’s been hard on all of us, but you can’t let it destroy you like this!”
Jace’s words rung in her ears as tears dampened her cheeks again. She wipes them out in the mousy sweater she wore, but it was also much too wet to be of any help.
The day Shaun died, Jace did not just lose one friend, he lost two. Sophie is completely broken, and she is not going to be okay for a very long time. He was desperate to get through to her, but given how she still refused to meet his eyes, he knew it is not working.
“Do you honestly think this is what he’d want?” The athlete asks, in a lower and chilly tone.
Shaun’s eyes widened at his friend’s words. He felt an uncomfortable sting in his chest as his eyes fell back on her and he realized how right Jace was. He hated seeing her like this, and he might not remember how he effectively died, but he knew he had no one but himself to blame for her pain. He is the ghost now, after all.
Jace, however, regretted his words the moment they left his lips. He is wrong in having said it, and he knows that she would react badly. Not to disappoint, her eyes quickly snapped up to meet his. Her tears did not stop as the anger took over her usually sweet expression.
“Get out.” She growled.
It causes Jace to recoil at her tone. “Look, Sophie, I’m sorry, but…”
“I said, get out!” She shouts again.
Jace does not attempt to argue any further, as there is no point. Sophie is inconsolable and no words were going to get through to her. Not from him, not from anyone.
He raised his hands in surrender before turning to leave. Shaun watched him go, frowning his lips. It hurt him deeply to know that this was all because of him. He had caused all of this pain. He was the reason she is broken.
“I’m sorry, Sophie, I am.” Jace murmured, stopping in the doorway. “But Shaun wouldn’t want this for you. He cared about you, and if he were here, if he saw you like this? It would kill him.”
The words were very harsh, but it was Jace’s final attempt to break through to her. When he was only answered with silence, he sighed in defeat and left her to grieve in peace.
Shaun watched him go, an uncomfortable weight setting in his stomach. Whoever said being dead was easy clearly was not speaking from experience.
“He’s right, you know?” Shaun voiced as he turned to her. “I cared about you, Sophie, certainly more than anyone else in my life.”
Shaun knew that she could not hear him and that trying to speak to her was pointless, but he did not stop. He does not want her to waste her life grieving for him, and until he learnt how to properly haunt this apartment, speaking is the best that he got.
“I want you to live, Sophie. I want you to breathe and smile and laugh and be happy. I want you to be the person I remember you to be. Not this.” Shaun begged, his eyes burning with tears he could no longer produce. “Never this.”
He was standing in front of her now, but she paid him no attention. Her gaze was fixed a few centimetres off to his left, staring at nothing in particular. He felt transparent.
He watched as Sophie suddenly sat up in his chair, rustling through her pocket before pulling out a small piece of paper. It took him less than a moment to figure out that it was a photograph. He felt some sort of despair claw at his own throat when he saw the image it held.
It was of them. She is front and centre, a smile adorning her face and faint blush on her cheeks. He stood behind her, side-eyeing the camera with a smirk, the usual cocky pose he held whenever a photographer turned their attentions on him.
Shaun remembers when they took it. It had been over seven years ago, at her introduction at the Science Society, when he stole Thomas’ thunder for that stupid presidency run. He had put her on the spot, having her play along with the whole thing, and he remembers with a small chuckle the deer-in-the-headlights expression she wore the entire night.
It was the only picture they had alone together. The student newspaper did not use it for their story on that night, but the photographer called him the morning after to offer a copy of it, as they thought it had been a nice framing. He accepted it, and then immediately sent it to the girl, thinking it would have more value to her than to him.
He was not wrong. He recalled how Sophie had it framed, and then, after they began dating, took to keeping it in her coat pocket, carrying it everywhere, although she would never admit to it. The corners were frayed and there was a crease in the middle from how many times she had taken it out to look at it and then folded it back up for safekeeping.
The photo used to make her smile, even on her darkest days. Now, however, it was just a painful reminder of all she had lost.
Shaun watched as her eyes filled with tears once again and a sad smile pulled at her trembling lips.
“I’m sorry, Sophie.” He managed, not knowing what else he could possibly say. He never meant to hurt or cause her so much pain. “I… I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I should have done differently, but… Whatever it was, I’m sorry.”
She raised her head and, for a single fleeting moment, he thought she could see him. It was almost enough to make his heart start beating again.
However, his hopefulness was short-lived. It did not take long for him to notice the absent nature of her gaze, how unseeing her eyes were. His heart sank once again. She is not looking at him, she is looking straight through him.
Her droopy eyes slowly fell back to the photo clutched in her hand. A tear slipped down her cheek and splashed against the surface of the photograph, dispersing small droplets against the frozen image of their smiling faces.
She chocked back a sob. This is too difficult, and she does not think she is going to be able to keep herself together.
“I miss you.” Her quiet voice echoed in the seemingly-empty apartment.
Shaun watched in pained silence, knowing nothing he said would bring her any comfort. He placed his hand over her own and leaned in, planting a gentle kiss to her temple.
Sophie did not so much as blink. A gesture that would usually fill her stomach with butterflies now no longer prompted so much as a simple reaction.
“I know.” He said, his heart falling into a black abyss as he helplessly watched her fall apart.
Even though he was in front of her, he knew things would never be the same. He would never be the reason she smiled or laughed. He would never get to see she grow excited as he spoke or feel her embrace as he held her in his arms.
Shaun would never get to be with her as he once was. Sophie is either going to move on and be happy without him, or would be miserable for the rest of her life. He does not know which one he hates less.
“I miss you, too.”
*_*_*_*_*
College Craze Masterlist
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Crackin’ the Code
prompt: Harry and YN tie the knot in a beautiful castle off the coat of Italy. Harry reflects back on his life before his love. YN has past insecurities creep on on her before the wedding.
note: this is the necklace that YN receives as (one) her wedding gifts from H and she wears it during the ceremony.
word count: 9k
warnings: smut
***<-- click for visuals throughout (super important for this one shot!)
if you enjoy this fic (which i worked REALLY hard on) please reblog, like, comment, and come talk to me!
please please considering donating to my kofi since all my work is FREE to you guys!
---
The world expected an extravagant wedding with week-long festivities, celebrations in destinations only the richest could afford, and all the big names of the business world who ran in his circle.
The media outlets were just waiting, quite impatiently, for the day that the richest man in Europe settled down with a significant other. They would have news stories for decades when it came to the couple.
Of course, Harry Styles was going to marry a household name - the public thought.
Whether it be an heiress, a model, maybe even an actress? The choices for the most eligible bachelor were limitless.
Any time he was at an event, usually a charity gala or black-tie dinner, paparazzi would take candid pictures of him with any female and then the following day publish an article about how they were a couple.
However, what the world didn’t know was that he’s been in a relationship for a year and a half, has already been engaged after the eight month mark, and moved into pretty soon after but that was hushed.
Nearly no one except a few key employees and family members knew about the couple. Everyone in his office building in the heart of London had to sign NDA’s at the beginning of their job - though almost all of them didn’t know she existed.
Harry did not put any limits on YN for the wedding planning.
No price, no expectations, nothing. If she wanted ten-thousand people or zero people in attendance that was her call. If she wanted to drop ten million dollars on a wedding or a hundred that was fine too.
The CEO never fantasized about a wedding.
Well he had but no in the terms most do. He didn’t sit and imagine the venue, the food menu, or the decorations.
No, he didn’t care about any of that, he daydreamed about the fact that he and someone would commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives.
Harry wanted to marry his fiance after their first date.
He was usually a very patient man, couldn’t have gotten where he was if he wasn’t. When it came to this, each day he wasn’t married to the love of his life felt like torture.
Since he proposed to her in his briefs in their bedroom, he had imagined her looking immaculate in whatever she chose to wear, exchanging vows of devotion, and then being tied together for life.
He never thought he would get here. He’d never felt a connection with someone like he had with the feisty waitress who bumped into him. Begin to believe that he was broken or lacking emotion because no matter how sweet the girl was he couldn’t see himself with the person.
Don’t get him wrong.
He took many women out on dates that were downright awful. Asking him about money, suggesting he take them on expensive vacations or buy them a designer item, being too forward and palming his crotch in the middle of dinner.
One of the last dates he went on before he gave up was the one that made him stop looking all together, about six months before he ran in YN.
---
It was an expensive restaurant in the heart of London. It had a waitlist for months but one call and they could magically make an available booth for the billionaire within the hour.
The girl he was sitting across from was a so-to-speak blind date.
A set up by one of his business partners who stated that they would be a good match. Harry had rolled his eyes at that but couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough to say ‘no.’
Her name was Aria, she had a respectable job at a local law firm as an assistant to a very well-known lawyer in the area.
She was beautiful in the way of looking just like an instagram model with long dark extensions, false eyelashes that made it hard to determine what color her eyes were, and an outfit that made Harry a bit embarrassed to be seen with her - short and low cut at a five-star restaurant.
“Yeah, I just got back from Mallorca with a group of friends,” She tells him, flipping through the photo album on her phone to show him pictures.
When she ‘accidentally’ swipes (and slowly swipes) again so that Harry definitely gets a glimpse of a nude selfie.
Harry internally groans, couldn’t be less turned on by that, and doesn’t acknowledge it - much to Aria's disappointment.
She was fishing for a compliment, maybe a request for him to take the phone and look closer at the picture like most men would.
Instead he sits back, takes a sip of his wine, and nods curtly, “It looks like you had a good time.”
She stumbles for a second, confused by his sudden standoffishness, and clicks her phone locked before putting it next to her on the table, “Did I offend you?”
He was already done with the date, with the dating scene, with fucking everything honestly.
What a goddamn waste of a night.
Harry barks out a cruel laugh, “It takes a lot more to offend me than a picture of y’tits but it’s a bit offensive that y’think so little of yourself that you think that’s how y’going to impress me. Those tits didn’t impress me much, darling.”
Aria’s eyes narrow in blatant disbelief at how much of an asshole he was being.
Granted, she did feel a bit of embarrassment creeping up in her stomach about thinking showing him that picture was a good idea but still, he didn’t need to react like that.
“It really makes sense why you don’t have a girlfriend, it’s because of what an asshole you are,” The girl sneers with venom as she tucks her phone into her clutch, swigging down the last drops of the expensive wine.
He shrugs like he’s unbothered, a nasty feeling quilling in the pit of his stomach as he keeps an outward expression of nonchalance and ease, it make the raven-haired woman even more furious as he replies cooly, “I’m not being an asshole, honesty hurts sometimes. Maybe if you think the way you attract someone is by nude pictures, you should try Tinder or Bumble.”
“I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have,” Aria tells him before pushing out her chair and leaving before the main course even arrives.
Harry sits there for a moment, swallowing and pleading with himself to not let the nasty words set in because they felt too real and too personal - she had actually struck some type of chord within and it had his stomach churning.
When he pays the bill, apologizing profusely for leaving dinner before the entree arrives but with an excuse of a company emergency - it’s eerily quiet in his car as he drives home to his massive home with no one in it.
It doesn’t happen often.
He should call his mum, Gemma, Dorothy even to talk it out but he feels so fucking alone because he can’t get it right. He can’t connect with anyone and it is starting to feel hopeless.
He is angry, so angry at himself, that he can’t shake the feeling of it and he feels like he’s losing control because he never fucking talks about his emotions.
A beautiful set of dishware was sitting out his dining room table, the housekeeper had carefully unwrapped them earlier in the day.
They were imported from Beijing, decorated with real gold, and handcrafted. It had cost him nearly forty-thousand dollars for a set of fucking plates and bowls.
I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.
It is repeatedly on a loop in his head, glares at the items on the dinner table like they’re mocking him, and he has no wits about himself before he’s taking one of the beautiful bowls and throwing it against the wall as hard as possible.
I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.
By the time he’s done, his chest is heaving, and his face is red.
When reality starts to set back in, every single item from the set is destroyed on the floor, the wall’s paint chipped from where he’d hurled them.
He was so fucked up.
-
Harry couldn’t help but relieve the feelings of that nasty flashback. He couldn’t believe that he had been at that point in his life - not when he had the most all-consuming, amazing in every single way woman laying next to him in his bed.
YN had shown Harry that he had never been broken, he had just been waiting.
She was his soulmate and he had been waiting for her since forever. He truly believed that as he looked at the girl next to him with enough emotion his heart might burst.
She was just...everything.
YN was so fucking funny - the funniest person Harry had ever met. She was loving in a way that made you feel like you belonged. Compassionate in a way that makes you want to be more selfless yourself. Intelligent enough that it was breathtaking and unreal - and that was just the tip of the iceberg.
She was uncaring of who Harry was - in the most perfect way.
Money wasn’t a personality trait that she defined him with. She loved him for who he was at the bare basics, stripped away from his public life.
She was confident in a way that girls rarely were.
Bared face and more beautiful than the highest-paid models.
Her body was her own, embracing every curve and inch of it without any shame. Let herself be authentic in front of Harry which made him feel like he had won a secret lottery.
Right now, she was fast asleep next to him in bed after stuffing herself full of oreos that she was dunking in milk. She ignored Harry’s looks of disgust at the soggy cookies and munched away happily which made him happy in turn.
She still had a dark crumb on the corner of her puffy lips, her mouth parted just the slightest amount, and her face smushed halfway into the pillow.
The shirt she had on was so oversized she was swimming in it and a pair of soft pink cheeky underwear.
Currently, she was the farthest thing from graceful and Harry loved that so fucking much.
As they lay mere days away from their wedding, remembering that nasty flashback, he can’t help but remember their first date and how he had known from them that he had finally found a spark, a connection to another human being.
--
Harry cannot remember the last time he had been nervous.
Maybe back in his teenage years? If that.
It was an unsettling feeling that was currently pooling in the pit of his stomach as he changed his outfit for the third time before finally being somewhat satisfied with the suit he had picked out - tighter black jeans, black button-up, black blazer - couldn’t go wrong there. ***
YN had texted him asking what she should wear for their first date when Harry told her he was going to keep it simple and take her to a restaurant.
He had to dress nice, it was an expensive restaurant that he had not taken any other dates to before, it was right outside of London - going towards the countryside with a beautiful view of a meadow and stream.
When he had arrived in front of her apartment, well he had never been on this side of town, and it quite frankly looked like the roof of her building was about to collapse at any minute. It was rough to say the least.
Harry had picked out a car he thought would impress her. He remembered her saying the doors of his Lamborghini were stupid so he picked a car with normal doors this time. It was his new Audi Quattro that had cost him upwards of 170,000 pounds. ***
YN had popped out of the front door, her face didn’t read impressed when she saw the car like he had hoped. It was interesting before YN, he did not care whether or not his dates were impressed by him - now he craved it.
She looked extraordinary in a form fitting silky black dress that hugged every single curve of her body perfectly while accentuating them at the same time. Minimal makeup, loose waves, and simple high heels - it was like a dream that he was taking this girl out on a date. ***
When she slips into the passenger seat, the smell of her floral yet cinnamon perfume makes the car smell heavenly, she looks over at him and says, “You didn’t even come open the door for me. We’re off to a bad start, Harry.”
His heart sinks, fuck - he had been blindsided by her beauty that he wasn’t even being a proper gentleman, “M’so sorry, I wa-”
She chirps out a tender laugh, patting his arm, “You’re face, oh my god. I was just fucking with you.”
Harry’s frown turns into a pout, “S’not nice, pet.”
YN shrugs before a bit self-consciously adjusting the fabric around her midsection, “Erm, I hope this outfit is nice enough? It’s really the only semi-decent thing I own.”
He shakes his head in disbelief, “Y’look absolutely stunning. I can’t even believe y’real to be honest, so fuckin’ pretty.”
YN gives him a shy, unsure smile but he can tell she’s preening at the compliment internally (which she totally is).
The restaurant is one of the nicest in England, let alone London.
There wasn’t even a menu, they just served eight courses over a few hours time by servers in suits with bowties on.
YN had never felt more out of place.
As they sat down, Harry was proud that he was able to show off his abilities for a good date, YN was looking around nervously before looking up at the server and saying, “We didn’t get menus yet.”
The man gives her a humorous expression before telling her, “We don’t do menus here, miss. Your date is a regular, I am sure he can fill you in. However, we are starting off with a Cabernet from 2001 imported from Napa, California.”
As he pours the wine into their sparkling glasses, she asks unknowingly, “I don’t really like wine. Is there any way I could get a Coke?”
Harry frowns when the server laughs meanly at her, “Ma’am this isn’t McDonald’s. We do not carry soda. I can provide you with water, if you so wish.”
Harry can’t help but snap at the waiter, “Oi, she’s never been here before. Lay off with the attitude alright?”
“My apologies, Mr. Styles,” He murmurs obediently before finishing the pouring off the whine and retreating from the table.
YN is trying to hide how uncomfortable she is but it is still obvious with how she fidgets in her seat, doesn’t quite know what to do with her hands as she doesn’t even bother to reach towards the wine glass.
“This isn’t really your scene, is it?” Harry murmurs, embarrassment with his failure to impress her with an expensive car and dinner.
It was falling flat and it was the only thing he knew how to do - flaunt his wealth, everyone else had always been impressed.
“No, it isn’t,” She agrees quietly, fingers folding the edges of the cloth napkin to keep her anxiousness directed somewhere, “I appreciate this, er, dinner. I thought we were going to go somewhere like Mary’s.”
Mary’s was a restaurant that was considered ‘nice’ to the commoners in the city. It was a bit more expensive than a pub and the attire was a bit fancier than if you were going out to a bar.
For someone like Harry, that was not considered a fancy restaurant.
However, YN was not him and this was not something that she had ever been accustomed to. He now definitely felt like an idiot.
It’s made even worse when a massive plate is put in front of each of them.
The plate is huge but the dish is merely one scallop with a lemon sauce and sprinkle of parsley on top. YN can’t even try to hide her confusion at the food.
“I’ve mucked this date up,” Harry sighs, nearly thirty minutes into the actual date.
YN had taken a small bite of the scallop before setting down her fork and not touching it again - it tasted like dirty feet. Did rich people like that taste?
She decides not to answer directly, “I already know you have money. It doesn’t ‘wow’ me. I was hoping for a fun date, this is….nice but quite truthfully, not for me. I prefer a pub or bowling - this feels more like a business meeting.”
Harry usually doesn’t have dates that are this honest with him.
He feels embarrassed but he really did appreciate her honesty. He should have known to do something different than this but he was comfortable with his normal pattern.
“Can we get out of here?” YN asks, placing the napkin back on the table and gathering up her small purse to swing over her shoulder.
He feels defeated as he nods, paying for the meal in full as he accepts that he’s fucked up the date beyond repair by being an arrogant, ignorant asshole who doesn’t truly know how to talk to a girl he likes.
It’s quiet as he starts the car and pulls back onto the road, he startles a bit when YN points to a glowing sign of a golden arch and demands, “Go there.”
With a bit of confusion, Harry pulls into the McDonald’s parking lot and then to the drive-thru as she motions for him to do so.
God, he hasn’t been to a fast food joint in years now if he was being honest.
When they pull up to the screen, YN leans across and shoots out their food order with ease before sitting back with a smug smile, “We’re going to have a date my way.”
Harry sighs with relief when he realizes the date isn’t over - but really just beginning. They sit and chat in the parking lot. He is thoroughly impressed when YN manages a box of nuggets, a fry, and a milkshake without shame.
Not like she should be shameful - just usually on dates women were hesitant to actually eat and instead picked carefully at their food instead. Their conversation in the car is bright, at some points deep and meaningful, but refreshing. It made him feel young again.
After they finished eating, she’s ordering him to drive a bit further out into the country where he can’t help but make the joke, “Are y’taking me somewhere to kill me?”
YN smiles happily with a wide grin, “You’ll just have to wait to see.”
It ends up being a lake. A beautiful body of water that was surrounded by trees that were being reflected into the ripples with the light of the moon. The only sounds were of crickets chirping and the light lapping of the water against the small shore. ***
“I used to come here a lot in the summer in high school,” YN murmurs as Harry takes in the scenery of everything. It had been so long since he had appreciated nature - not the bright clear waters in the tropics but something like this.
“S’beautiful,” Harry replies, can’t help but observe this girl he’s infatuated beauty in the moonlight.
Her skin looks like it’s glowing, the moon sparkling off the twinkle of her iries, and she just looked...ethereal. Like she belonged in the beauty of the wilderness.
He couldn’t believe his eyes - had to blink harshly a few times to make sure he’s not imagining it when she pulls the thin straps of her dress down her shoulders and shimmy the garment down her body until she’s left in a delicate lace bra and cheeky pair of underwear.
Harry, always the gentleman, keeps his eyes (with effort) on her face. Unsure of what is going on in her mind before she turns around with a little run and dives headfirst into the deep waters before popping back up and giggling, “Jump in!”
She’s just so...carefree, adventurous. Harry hadn’t felt free in fucking years.
It has him shucking out of all of his clothing, just down to his tight black briefs before he’s diving in, right next to her, and feeling around. He wraps his hand around her ankle to teasingly tug her under with him before they both surface.
As they wad in the water, YN swims over to him, and wraps her legs around his waist, arms around his neck. Her soaking wet hair was dripping and he was breathing heavy, feeling his ribcage expand against her soft tummy.
She murmurs quietly over the light lapping over the water, “You haven’t even looked at me once.”
Harry swallows, feeling like a schoolboy again, “I...I didn’t want to without permission.”
“I want you to look at me,” YN replies, letting her nose nudge his and her eyes searching into his nervous ones.
He nods, closing his eyes when he feels her lips brush his, letting his large palms grip at her sides and pull her closer to his chest. Their lips not breaking when his hands begin to explore the intricate, plush curves of her body.
They don’t do anything else, don’t go any further but he groaning when she traces her fingertips down his muscular, defined abs and thumb rubbing over the trail of light hair leading into his briefs.
After a swim, filled with splashing and dunking, they retired to lay in the grass. Both of their backs, looking up at the clear night sky, moon full and stars glittering against the stark darkness that surrounds it.
YN wriggle until she’s tucked into his side, hand running up and down his chest, as she says, “I’m sorry your date didn’t go as planned. I ruined it.”
“Y’didn’t ruin anything. I...I haven’t felt like this in a long time,” Harry admits as he gives off an embarrassed laugh, “I..I’m a little bit scared, to be honest.”
“Scared? Of what?” YN asks, lips pressing against a tattoo on his bare shoulder.
“Because I already am falling for you,” Harry utters, heart racing and his eyes glued upwards and pointedly not wanting to see her interaction.
“That’s a relief.”
His eyebrows shoot up, “A relief?”
“Yeah, I would say. I’m falling too,” YN whispers before leaning up to connect their lips once more as the moon rises further in the sky and the crickets sing a little louder. They lay like that for a very long time.
Harry went home that night for the first time not feeling the empty weight of his loneliness, instead he feel asleep imagining the beautiful, spontaneous girl next to him in his bed.
--
It wasn’t going to be the wedding everyone expected for The Harry Styles. **
There was not many invites set out for this event. It wasn’t the wedding of the century or the most expensive wedding of the decade.
Harry would have let his wife-to-be have this day however she wanted without complaint but could say he was very happy that it was going to a be a low-key event. It was going to be some of YN’s family, though she didn’t have much, and Harry’s extended family. No one from work or business. Just family.
They had just gotten finished with the rehearsal dinner, the couple being ordered to separate rooms for the final night before they were married. It was tradition.
Harry had walked YN to her hotel room, they were staying at the venue, and pressed her up against the door. His hand coming to weave into her meticulously curled hair and cupping the back of her head, bring her mouth to his.
He wastes no time in letting his tongue find hers, hips coming to press her further back against the aged wood, and his teeth nipping roughly at her plump bottom lip, “Baby, y’gonna be m’wife tomorrow.”
YN’s eyes twinkle up at him like they did during their first date, “I can’t wait. I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”
His fiance laughs kindly as he gets a bit watery eyed, her thumb coming to swipe under his eye, she jokes, “Are you regretting proposing now?”
“Just never knew I could be this happy,” He murmurs against her lips, can’t help but reach around to grip a generous amount of her backside and pulling her flush against him where he’s hardening quickly.
“Mm, down boy. You don’t get the goods until tomorrow,” YN scolds, hand wrapping around his wrist and squeaking when he squeezes harder to get the point across - how much he wants her, all the fucking time.
“Want it now, pet,” Harry whines lowly, grinding his hips forward into her, “Give it t’me, y’mouth, y’cun-”
“Alright lovebirds! Separate now!” Gemma barks to interrupt with the laughter of their childhood friend Chloe.
They pull Harry by the back of the shirt and push him forward towards his room, Gemma smiles back at YN, “Make him put a ring on it before you give it to him!”
“Gem!” Harry scolds with a whine, giving his fiance puppy dog eyes and a pouted bottom lip, “Baby, don’t let them take me!”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you!” YN shouts back, waving and smiling to herself as she opens up the door to her room and then locking it after she steps in. It feels weird being in a hotel room without him but she was a bit sweaty and her nerves were wiry so she decided a nice bath would be a good idea.
-
It’s past two in the morning and she was no less ready to find sleep. The worries of whether everything will be set up properly, if she’ll stutter during her vows, there were just so many things that could go wrong.
Life didn’t even seem real at this moment.
She was marrying her husband at an amazing castle on the coast of italy with family to surround them in love. She had the perfect dress, the perfect flowers, the perfect partner. ***
She had never had it easy. Never thought she would deserve something like this. Harry had made her feel worthy of all this, they deserved to have a happy ever after.
When it hits three in the morning, she can’t stand the quiet of the italian countryside anymore, and is swinging her legs over the bed. She pockets the keycard Harry gave her earlier in the day in her cotton shorts before sneaking out of her room.
After she taps the card to the sensor, the large oak doorknob clicks, she slips in and closes the door as silently as possible. YN steps in to the room, Harry's asleep in his bed on his stomach, face smushed into the pillow.
Harry’s facial expression and body language while he was awake was so severe, serious, intimidating. In sleep, his face was lax and his limbs loose. He looked more boyish when he was dreaming.
YN’s heart aches at how much she loves him, pulling the covers up, and crawling under them until she’s jostling him unintentionally, waking him from his light sleep with a mumble, “Baby, y’okay? Wha’s wrong? Y’alright?”
She giggles at his dazy panic, “I just missed you.”
“Mmm,” Harry agrees, pulling her all the way down and rolling on top of her, “Missed y’more.”
“You’re like a toaster!” YN squeals as he’s encompasses her, laying on her with his weight. His lips finding her pulse point and gently sucking. He was barely awake and he still couldn’t stop himself from her finding comfort in her body.
“I’m warmin’ y’up,” Harry growls against her neck before giving her a lick which has her giggling even more and pushing him off until he falls on his back and she’s swing her legs over his waist, straddling him.
“Y’breakin’ the tradition, m’heart.”
YN shrugs, humming while he palms at her belly, and she (much to his disappointment) ignores where he’s hard and waiting for her.
“I want t’sleep with you,” She pleas sheepishly, leaning all the way over to connect their lips in a quickie peck before she’s moving off of him and into his side.
“Never say no to you, y’know that, dovie,” Harry replies as if it’s obvious (it is).
“We’re getting married tomorrow,” YN whispers into the dark, like it’s a secret just between the two.
Harry nuzzles his nose against her temple, “Never wanted anythin’ more than I want you.”
YN can’t help but sniffle softly, overwhelmed with emotion and love, “You’re so good to me. I don’t deserve you.”
“You saved me. You saved me from myself, from where I was going. You gave me hope, feeling again. Y’are m’heart, it fuckin’ beats for you.”
It may not be tradition but YN wouldn’t of had it any other way, sleeping in a magnificent castle on the ethereal coast of Italy in a classic hotel room, and the excitement of their wedding rumbling in both of their stomachs.
--
“You sneaky bastards!” Bethany screeches, door flinging open with Gemma in tow as they intrude into Harry’s room - finding the couple curled up under the covers with Harry spooning YN with his face tucked into her hair.
“Fuck off,” Harry groans, pulling his fiance closer into his chest as she wriggles awake and whimpers lowly, “Mornin’ lovie.”
“Out out!” Gemma shoos, pulling the covers off of them and the sisters showing no mercy while they yank YN out of the bed and titter about how she needs to start getting ready, no time for cuddles, breaking traditions.
“Bring her back!” He whines childishly, hurling a pillow at his sister’s retreating back as they guide YN back to her own room.
“You’ll see her in a few hours!” Gemma shouts back before slamming the hotel room door and leaving Harry to doze off for just a few more minutes.
-
Hair and makeup went fast.
It was getting closer and closer to actually walking down the aisle towards her soon-to-be life partner and she’s never felt more nervous.
Rosemary and Bethany were all rushing around - attempting to get ready in the midst of getting the bride ready.
YN didn’t want to look like a doll or have any intense makeup. It was a soft champagne smokey eye with dewy skin and a glowing highlight. A nice lip with a bit of glittering gloss.
Her hair was in big, loose curls that cascaded down her back with the front pulled off of her face. A real white flower holding it back.
Then it was the dress. She was anxious about whether Harry would like it or not. She wasn’t sure what he was expecting her to wear - a massive ball gown, a form-fitting mermaid, or something less over-the-top?
It was a show-stopper that had her memorized when she had first seen it - could automatically imagined herself getting married in Italy with this on her body.
It was also one of the only times she didn’t even care about the price tag - she knew this was it. Yes, it was absurd to spend fifty thousand pounds on a dress but it was the one time she took advantage of Harry’s wealth.
It was flowy, reminding her of the soft waves that lapped at the coast of the italian beaches. It was sophisticated, classy with a sharp starch white that billowed into a dreamlike beauty.
What had made her fall in love was the sheer, detailed sleeves that gave the dress more of a vintage, glamour appearance than the modern tight-fit, overly sexy gowns that most brides wore nowawadays. ***
The train was long and sleek. It would trail beautifully down the aisle before being bustled for the reception. It made her feel confident in a way that an item of clothing next had made her feel before.
“Your tits look amazing,” Bethany compliments before giggling when their grandmum pinches her arm for her crude language.
YN couldn’t find it in her to laugh. She felt like her voice was stuck in her throat and it wasn’t moving.
It started to feel real.
The fact that Harry had proposed, had planned a wedding with her, that he was agreeing to marrying her today.
It was starting to scare her - no, not cold feet but anxiety that he would realize that he could do better than the lowly waitress.
Now, on a normal day, she wouldn’t be having these irrational thoughts. Today was different and it felt too good to be true.
Rosemary and Bethany sense the tension in the room, rub her shoulders, and respect her wishes when she asked for a moment alone.
YN debates picking up her phone, knowing he was busy with his bigger side of the family in the groom’s suite.
She finds herself picking up her mobile, dialing his number, and waiting with bated breath for his syrupy, warm voice to pour through the speaker.
“Everythin’ okay?” He answers, she can hear Anne and Gemma tittering about in the background, yelling at him to get a move on.
“I’m scared,” YN whispers, she holds back her tears because the last thing she wanted to do was ruin her meticulous makeup.
“Leavin’ me at the altar?” Harry jokes lowly, stepping away from prying ears.
YN giggles at his teasing tone, “Never. I…I feel like this is all too good to be true. Like it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up.”
Harry huffs, “Sweetheart. Y’my soulmate, if y’wake up - I’m right there with you, okay? God, if anyone is dreamin’ it’s me. I get t’marry the most beautiful, intelligent -“
Gemma’s voice interrupts him, “You already seduced her into marrying you! We don’t have time for this sweet talk!”
The line goes dead but YN feels much better now.
—
Rosemary was going to be the one walking her down the aisle to her new husband. It didn’t feel right to have anyone else do it as she was the one who raised her into the strong, independent woman she was today.
YN knew she wanted to have an outside wedding.
What would be more perfect than a cool evening in Italy? It was what she had dreamed about since she was little without the idea that it would ever happen.
The weather was absolutely perfect. There was a slight warm breeze that would keep the guests from being overheated, the sun was peeking in and out of vibrant white clouds that complimented the blue sky.
She knew exactly where Harry would be standing.
Underneath a beautiful, dated archway with intricate designs about.
The old material had lovingly grown luscious ivy that kissed the walls in a swirling, natural design.
YN would never forget how beautiful that ivy had looked on her wedding day, encompassing the magnificent that was her soon-to-be husband.***
The venue was open, airy but still gave off an intimacy. There weren't many rows of chairs because not many were invited to share in such an ethereal experience where soulmates have found each other and were announcing their commitment to the world.
“Are you ready, my daughter?” Her grandmother had asked quietly as they lined up behind the expansive, old brick wall that hides them from the rest of the ceremony and crowd. She could hear the whispering as people took their seats.
YN nods, her vocal cords refusing to cooperate as she imagines Harry just as nervous on the opposite side with his family.
When the twinkling, traditional music begins from the small orchestra off to the side - the realization hits her - it is actually happening, right now.
Bethany puts her bouquet in front of her, giving one last meaningful smile at her sister before she takes her cue to turn the corner and begins her walk down the aisle.
It meant Harry was up there, watching as she was about to appear.
Then the orchestra’s melody became louder, more grand in the signaling for the guests to stand and turned toward the back of the room - awaiting the bride’s entrance to the ceremony.
Rosemary takes the initiative to hook their arms and guide her past the wall.
YN clutches onto her own flowers as if it’s her lifeline. ***
Every fear, insecurity, moment of self-doubt dissipates when her eyes connect to Harry’s. There is no longer a doubt in her mind that she wasn’t enough. It was a deep, unbreakable stare as Harry’s mouth parts in a gasp of awe.
He was in a suit that was undeniably him. It displayed how fucking regal he was, how it looked like he was handcrafted into the italian design, how it fit him just perfectly.
It wasn’t a normal tuxedo. It was a perfectly tailored, custom (of course) Gucci suit that excentuate his broad shoulders and the nip of his narrow hips *** ***.
YN can’t even hear the noise of the guests - whispering about how beautiful she looks.
All she can see is her future husband, who swallows harshly as an unexpected sob wracks through his chest at the sight of his bride.
The guests can’t help but look with wide eyes as the man they know - who they’ve barely ever seen smile, let alone cry, cannot control his emotions.
Gemma, who was his ‘best man’ which they deemed ‘best woman’, rubs his back soothingly with a watery smile herself at seeing her brother so estastatic as he looks at the woman of his dreams.
Harry rubs his eyes before meeting hers again.
YN is holding back her own tears as she reaches the end of the aisle.
In tradition as old as time, Harry steps forward and Rosemary passes her hand over to him in a signal that she trusts him to take care of the girl she’s spent meticulous time raising and cultivating into the person she is today.
“I trust you to take care of my girl, she is now yours,” Rosemary tells Harry, her tone is calm and full of emotion as she allows Harry to lean over to kiss her cheek softly.
Harry nods, his usually stable voice shaky as he replies, “I promise, I’ll take care of her until the day I die.”
Rosemary nods before patting his cheek and finding her seat in the audience.
When they are finally standing face-to-face, YN reaches over to thumb off a stray tear that was sliding down his cheek before he turns his head to kiss her thumb then kissing her palm.
Harry didn’t even acknowledge that there was anyone else watching - it was just him and her.
“Y’look breathtaking, can’t believe y’mine,” Harry murmurs trembling, his chest moving faster than usual and it felt like it was nearly impossible for him to catch his breath as he looked at the woman in front of him.
When it comes to the vows, Bethany hands over her small piece of paper that she had scribbled onto and scratched out multiple times - never quite able to get the wording just right and she says just that.
“I couldn’t find the right words to explain my love for you,” She starts, voice raspy as she looks up to see Harry watching her raptly, eyes intense and only focused on her.
“And maybe there aren’t even words to explain it because nothing felt like enough. It is how I feel a lot of the time with you. I’ll never have enough of you because you’re all-consuming to me. I have never felt happiness like I have with you.”
YN is trying to stifle her tears as she continues, Harry reaches out to rub her arm in reassurance then he lightly brushes over the new necklace he had gifted her, “You’re by far the most complex, closed-off person I have ever met. I feel like you’ve allowed me to crack the code and once I did, I wasn’t disappointed. I’ve cracked my own code, you see.”
“The code to explaining my feelings for you will come with my dedication, love, loyalty to be your wife for the rest of our lives.”
Harry can’t help what he does next despite it not falling in line at the ceremony.
His hands come up to cup her jaw and he sears his lips to hers, kissing her with all the passion and emotion he cannot seem to keep in any longer. It’s too much, has to show her in that moment how much he loves her.
A few of his uncles whistle from the crowd as their wives smack their chests in warning.
YN giggles, returning the kiss before pushing him off.
The look in his eyes is one she knows extremely well - it sends shivers down her spine and makes her hair stand on end -, the stare down of lust and want.
“Mr. Styles,” The officiant redirects, nodding towards the piece of paper he has in his hand.
“Yeah, sorry,” Harry mumbles, unraveling the wrinkled notecard he had tucked in his inner suit pocket.
“I knew I was in love with you the moment you spilled that drink on me and undressed me in that dodgy employee bathroom,” Harry says with full sincerity, smirking at YN’s blush when he brings up the way they met.
“I tried to talk myself out of it. It was impossible to fall in love in mere minutes of meeting someone but it was the truth. I knew after our first date that I wanted y’to be m’wife. I knew after the second that I wanted y’to be the mother of my babies one day. And by the third date, I was planning on buying you a ring.”
“It sounds insane because it is. I’ve never been an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment, hopeful person before you. You made me throw all that out of the window, you make me feel alive, and when I tell you that you saved me. You saved me, m’love.”
“There is a lot of uncertainty in this world but I can tell you one thing that is absolutely fuckin’ certain -”
“Harry,” YN hisses with an eye-roll at his crude language.
“The one thing that is absolutely certain in this world is that I will always love you, always take care of you, and always do everythin’ in m’power to make you happy.”
The guests in the chairs are quite speechless.
They’d never heard such passionate, meaningful vows from a couple.
This was not what they were expecting of Harry who had never once put his heart on his sleeve and right now he’d laid it all out on the table.
--
“YN LN, do you agree to take Harry Edward Styles as your husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant asks, voice ringing against the walls of the castle.
YN has to take a big breath before she replies in a strong, firm voice as her eyes bore into Harry’s, “I do.”
“Harry Edward Styles, do you agree to take YN MN LN as your wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant repeats.
Harry, in ever typical fashion, in his loud, booming voice replies, “Of course I fuckin’ do.”
The guests in the audience laugh lightly as the officiant states, “I now announce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Styles. You may now kiss your bride.”
It doesn’t take more than a second for Harry to step forward, grip her face and pull her in for a kiss, it doesn’t matter that their family is there to him as he licks into her mouth which is bordering on obscene before YN brings it back to a softer, more appropriate one.
He whispers against his lips, barely audible, “Can’t believe y’my fucking wife, m’fucking heart.”
--
As people are moving towards the reception area, Harry manages to find a secluded area of the outside gardens where there is no one in sight.
“Baby, baby, y’married me,” Harry is nearly chanting, like he’s in disbelief, at the same time he’s cornering his new bride up against the brick wall with his mouth trailing sloppy wet kisses down her shoulder.
“Mmm, it was everything I ever imagined, it was so beautiful. Everything I had imagined for our day,” YN replies blissfully, hands running carefully through his meticulously styled hair.
When he bends down and lifts up the bottom of her dress, she giggles when he ducks his head underneath all the tulle and fabric, finding a very skimpy pair of white lace panties that are supposed to be saved for later.
“Harry,” YN scolds half-heartedly, it would only take one person to find them in this undeniable inappropriate situation but she willingly let him push her further against the brick and take one of her legs over his shoulder.
“Baby, these fuckin’ panties,” He groans, muffled by the barrier of the heavy fabric, and she hisses when pulls them down to the thick of her thighs and his mouths finds her center within moments.
“Fu-fuck,” She hisses, trying to keep her moans down as he wastes no time in pushing in two thick fingers to curve towards her front as his tongue laps quickly and sloppily on her clit until it feels like she’s about to explode.
“S’right, fuckin’ m’cunt. I have it f’the rest of my life, found the best one,” Harry mutters against her wet skin, almost to himself like he can’t even believe the words, before he’s back to speeding up his fingers to match the rhythm of his mouth until she’s quivering for a whole other reason now.
It takes a few minutes for Harry to calm himself down enough to be able to go into the reception, he tells YN that he can’t even look at her right now because if he does he’ll be perpetually hard throughout the whole thing.
--
The reception is more of a dinner than a party.
Fairy lights strung above the two long tables where decadent, mouth-watering food was served with the orchestra playing light, melodic music in the background. ***
It was perfect.
Their family drank, laughed, ate, and were merry.
Everyone was basking in each other’s company, congratulating the new couple, and enjoying all the beauty that was surrounding them at the castle.
There is not much more to say than that.
--
The honeymoon suite was located on one of the highest floors of the castle, away from all of the other wedding guests and staff.
YN was sure it was beautiful but from the moment she was carried over the threshold, she didn’t see anything but her new husband - he was blinding in his beauty. His skin was glowing, a slight sheen of sweat from the reception, and the still warm bite in the breeze. ***
“Sweetheart, baby. Please let m’undress you, y’my wife,” Harry pleas softly, his hands are everywhere - her face, her shoulders, hips - continuously wandering as if it’s impossible to find one place to settle.
“Please, c’mon. I need you, H,” She agrees, letting him take down the zipper on the side of her gown.
The expensive garment discarded on the floor in a pool of fabric as he fully takes in her lingerie set. ***
“Fuck me, darlin’,” Harry chuckles in amazement, fingertips tracing over the delicate lace that was stitched by Alessandro Michele himself for the bride, "Y’body is a god damn dream, look at you. - fuck.”
“Please,” His wife whimpers, voice desperate as his light and careful touches are no longer enough.
She needs him close, she needs her husband.
“Okay, okay,” He simpers, moving her back until he can have her right where he wants her, on her back in the middle of the massive, blanket-ridden bed - her white lingerie standing out against the dark duvet.
Harry had always imagined this night.
To have someone laid out underneath him.
No rush, no urgency but to truly, physically show that person through touch that you love them.
He starts near her collarbone, feathery heated kisses that warm her skin as she welcomes him with heavy weight on top of her so eager he wasn’t even undressed yet.
When his mouth finds her nipples through the sheer fabric, she pushes her chest up in encouragement as he bites at the nubs with sharp but careful teeth that wet the fabric.
“It feels so good, baby,” YN mewls, letting him nip and suck for a moment before pushing him up until he’s rid of every inch of fabric that had been covering his body.
“M’always gonna make y’feel good. I’ll fuck you wherever, wehenver cause you’re m’wife,” Harry grunts, impatiently reaching behind to unclasp the corset until her breasts spill free and jiggle in a way that makes his mouth water.
“Wait, wait,” YN puts a hand to his cheek when he already has his mouth darting out to lap at her hardened nipple.
“Don’t make me wait, m’heart,” Harry grumbles with a furrowed brow, his hand still unable to stop from reaching up to palm at her full breasts, thumbs rolling the nipples as he stares fiercely up at her.
“You know how you got me a present?” YN murmurs, biting back a whimper when a zip of electricity shoots from her nipple down to where she’s already dripping for him, “I got you something too.”
Harry’s face relaxes, it’s like he finds his grounding again, “Baby, didn’t need t’get me anythin’. Y’the best fuckin’ gift I could have gotten. Does look beautiful sittin’ between y’tits though.”
His new wife giggles, “Well I really hope you like mine….it’s non-refundable.”
He looks at her with confusion even more so when she wriggles down her panties and flips on her belly with her arms resting under chin.
Of course, Harry finds it immediately and she can tell by the deep, pleased growl he emits from the back of his throat, “You fuckin’ didn’t.”
“I did.”
It was his name, small and cursive right on her bum cheek.
After they got engaged, he went out and got her name tattooed on his pec - much to her dismay.
She had never talked about returning the favor and had kept it the ultimate surprise.
“I think I almost just came from this,” Harry rasps, his fingers tracing the small ink over and over in awe, “Baby, y’put m’name on your bum. It makes y’look like my property, sweetheart.”
“I am yours,” YN giggles, yelping when she feels his teeth graze the sensitive skin before he’s suckling and licking at his name - can’t take his eyes off the beauty of her.
“Yeah, you fuckin’ are,” He agrees whole-heartedly, his hands calming to cup and palm at her cheeks as he fawns over his wedding present, “This is the best present I’d ever fuckin’ received, fuck - never goin’ to get over this.”
He doesn’t want to look away from the tattoo but knows how he wants to fuck his wife for the first time so he flips her onto her back once again, lips finding hers.
She whispers, hand wrapping around his cock, “Still have to pay you back for earlier.”
“No blowies tonight, pet. We’re goin’ to do it the right way, m’gonna make love to you,” Harry murmurs, his lips finding hers as he bats her hand away to grasp at his thick base. He teases the sensitive head over her clit and entrance a few times before slowly sinking in.
“Ohh, been ready for you all day. You looked like a fucking wet dream standing at the alter, waiting for me,” YN sighs happily, wriggling her hips to adjust a bit before she spreads her legs and lets Harry rest in between them, “Ever since I saw you in the suit, I’ve been waiting.”
“Yeah, baby? I can tell, y’so wet, warm f’me,” Harry praises, his movements are slow and unrushed, their hips meeting gently as he pushes in each time with care, “Can’t believe y’gonna let me have this for the rest of m’life.”
“I love you so so much,” She utters breathlessly as he continues to make her feel so fucking full - emotionally and physically, “Best husband ever, can’t believe it.”
Harry chuckles tenderly, “Baby, I need y’to come soon. I’m so close, never come this quick. The thought of y’being my wife is making it impossible to last then with the tatto-”
YN soothes his hair in understanding, pushing up to meet their lips and allow their tongues to dance as he lifts her thigh against his hip to thrust in with a bit more force. His thumb comes to her clit to spur her along which doesn’t take much with how aroused she’s been all day.
Harry follows right after, much to his embarrassment of his lack of stamina but can you blame him? He has the hottest fucking wife on the planet.
“Round two?” YN smirks as he leans down to pepper kisses all over her cheeks. She knows the night has just begun.
“Mmm,” He agrees instantly, “Now that we made love, m’gonna fuck y’from behind so I can watch my name jiggle on your arse.”
And that’s what he does. It takes nearly no rebound time, flips her on her belly again to gaze and worship his name as he fills out in no time again. His fingers occasionally dip back between her thighs to tease at her entrance before he swipes her own wetness on the tattoo to lick it off.
She’s tired, exhausted from the events of the day but wants to reach that last orgasm before sleep overtakes them.
On her hands and knees, Harry doesn’t pound into her like he normally would.
Instead, he eases back in with eyes darting between his wedding present and where they’re connecting, his thumb diligently rubbing hard and steady circle on her nerves.
“C’mon wifey, need y’to not be stubborn,” Harry goads, feeling his release coming again - he pinches her clit with just enough pressure that has her whining before Harry has to hold her up by the waist as she quivers.
It has him finishing right after with a gentle smack to her bumcheek, the skin already tender and sore from all of his attention on the spot as it was.
“I loved your vows,” YN murmurs against his chest. He had wrapped her up in one of the plush blankets and he had pulled on a tight pair of briefs and they were laying on a lounge chair on the blacony under the italian stars.
“I loved yours just as much, y’did crack the code m’love ‘cause now I’m yours forever,” Harry rumbles, his voice raspy with drowsiness.
Little did they know that in a few short years, they would be back under these italian stars with knowledge that they were growing a little product of their love in her belly.
A litte baby named Ivy, just like the beautiful, lucious nature that had decorated the place in magneificent as they spoke vows - dedicating their lives to each other.
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Here are my theories on why Battison would be perfect for launching Robins into the cinematic big screens
1. The Focus with the Batman Movie
My theory on why The Batman is such a good movie is because it actually focused on who Batman is and not the villains or dynamics with the villains. It showed development and not just fighting.
I've said in another post that Batman is a symbol of hope and change for Gotham. A gritty, dirty, and determined hope for a gritty, dirty, and determined city. He refuses to kill because it would end the chance for redemption and his rule of no guns is a metaphor for it. (SPOILER IN THE NEXT SENTENCE), I loved the search and rescue scene because it was such a powerful and obvious metaphor of Batman being the light and hope for change by him leading the way to safety with the flare. (SPOILER finished)Because this movie shows Batman as a symbol of hope, the next logical step would be to pull out Batman's hope, which has always started with Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson has always been the first light and hope for Bruce. Dick went through the exact experience, but still has a joy that persists no matter what the circumstance. We all know that different runs and origins do different things, but through Bruce's eyes, Dick is his light.
2. The Divergence of how the actor typically plays Batman
Once again, most storylines, directors, and actors so far have focused on Batman and our typical idea of him being an amazing crimefighter and super good at it. This movie brought out the new batman who is still learning how to think and fight to keep up with his enemies. This is a SAD Batman that makes way more sense as to why he isn't good at showing his emotions than any other Batman. Introducing DIck would bring in such a wonderful side of forcing Bruce to develop his more human side and cause him to learn to be more of the Batman/Brucie Wayne that we are accustomed to and I think that would be wonderful.
3. The Dynamics introduced with Alfred that can be elaborated by adding bat-fam members
Another unique thing that The Batman did is established a family instead of assuming it. They fully addressed that Alfred was like Bruce's father while acknowledging how insufficient Alfred felt raising Bruce. (SPOILER) When Bruce told Alfred that he thought he conquered the fear of death but Alfred being in danger made him realize he didn't opened up such a raw vulnerable side of Bruce. This could be fleshed out even more by adding to the number of people cares about. We all saw him watching the mayor's boy. I'm perpetually persuaded that the only reason he didn't adopt him was that the boy still had his mother. (SPOILER finished) But bring Dick, who has no family left and will be lost to the system that destroyed Edward? He couldn't take it and would take him in figuring that Dick living in Wayne Manor would at least be a little better than the orphanage.
4. The Potentials with the Set of Wayne Manor
The Manor that we saw displayed the hopeless state of Bruce Wayne. But bring in a Bruce who is trying to restore his family's real reputation and trying to repair the manor but now has to work even faster because this tiny boy doesn't know how to stay off of banisters and chandeliers? Amazing. We see Alfred trying to help and while being ridiculously relieved that Bruce is being pulled out of the Batman mentality and just how that could be reflected in the Manor. The Batman was honestly a cinematographic masterpiece and I think this would be a great way to continue it.
5. I love him
Think of all the soul-crushing scenes we could have. Bruce in his too-big T-shirt bleary walking along with a very small child following him in a duplicate of that shirt because he doesn't have any pajamas to wear? Bruce actually smiles at the first pun Dick tells because of how long Dick has been walking around gloomily? When Dick figures out that Bruce is Batman and the worry Bruce immediately has? Dick thinks that he causes too much trouble and Bruce is just going to get rid of him while Bruce doesn't understand how anyone would not want Dick. Just Dick bringing Bruce out of Batman's unhealthy habits. Batman at a crime scene standing absolutely still and no one understands why but Dick is asleep in his arms and Bruce doesn't want to wake him up? Selina sees Bruce Wayne show up with this tiny child and kidnaps Dick for a little while to make sure he's okay while Dick is just happy to be around any kind of animal again and adores all the cats.
Basically, I think introducing Dick would be a really good move because it allows for a cinematic universe that rivals Marvel's even if they just focus on the bat family and would be a wonderful way to build on the way of looking at Batman the way The Batman did. Plus, Tony Zucco is a really cool villain
#The Batman#batman#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#robin#nightwing#bruce wayne#catwoman#batfamily#batfam#batkids#batdad
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Hey, so I watched Ranboo’s stream - I don’t usually but I was intrigued.
And damn, I’m just hit by how cynical, how pessimistic his character really is. Or was during this stream at least. It’s so different from Tommy, whom I usually watched.
Ranboo kept talking about how little people really cared, or how they didn’t like Tommy much and never really did anything to help - that even their mourning about promising to do better meant nothing because they were just saying that to make them feel better, they wouldn’t really change.
It’s such a bleak, negative outlook and its such a contrast to how Tommy saw the server. He wandered round assuming everyone was his friend as he lived in the moment trying to always have fun, amusing himself and others. That doesn’t mean he was oblivious to the negative opinions - but he rarely distanced himself from others, instead he wanted to keep making connections. More recently he had tried to really do better, building a hotel and avoiding starting wars and causing conflict.
Ranboo focused on how no one had done anything for Tommy. But it was everyone banding together to save Tommy and Tubbo that lead to Dream’s imprisonment in the first place. The server can care and Tommy believed in it. Ever since Dream got imprisoned, Tommy would talk about how much better the server was, how he was free and how everyone could be happy. His idealistic nature is why he believed he could take on Dream on all, no matter the odds.
Tommy rarely believed the worst in people. It’s why his exile was so tragic, to hear him finally talking about people not caring about him. But even that didn’t last, as its why he was able to forgive Tubbo for everything after they confronted each other at the second festival. He wanted to trust in him again, and reflected that he had been becoming the very sort of person he didn’t want to be. It’s why he trusted Wilbur to the end, believing he would not destroy their home. It’s why, when he heard Tubbo had suspected him of being a traitor, his response was to hand over his music disc to prove that he trusted him.
Even once trapped in the prison, Tommy wasn’t angry at the world for not helping him. While he had desperately pleaded for Sam to come and help him, his bitterness and rage was all directed solely at Dream. He was angry at Dream (and himself) but no one else, not really. He didn’t let Dream convince him that they were friends and that the others didn’t care.
Ranboo seemed to talk in this knowing, cynical way, like he was the only person who could see the truth that everyone else was too blind to see. He noted that he could be wrong and yet added that he was the only one who ever acknowledged the fact that he could be wrong. Yet his view is warped.
We see that Jack Manifold had experienced a huge shift in response to Tommy’s death. He didn’t suddenly turn around and admit he liked Tommy, he didn’t suddenly see Tommy as a better person, at best he found he missed Tommy because he’d given him some purpose. But he did learn about himself. He realised that seeking revenge had only left him empty. He didn’t have any real goals or plans left, he didn’t really have anyone he considered a friend.
Every new tragedy inspires Captain Puffy more and more. She began uncertain where she stood, but witnessing devastation lead her to realise she wanted to help people. And she’s done that increasingly by fighting against the eggpire, who are inspired to do more in the wake of Tommy’s death. Learning about another death she failed to prevent is only going to spur her on further. She helped to try and preserve the ruins of L’Manburg and she’s not going to let Tommy’s death be forgotten either.
The Dream SMP is not a cold place where no one cares about anyone else. Every life touches so many others. I hope that Ranboo too can learn to see the beauty and let himself trust others even if he risks getting hurt. Tommy won’t be forgotten.
#meta#analysis#tommyinnit#i know i discussed ranboo but i don't watch enough of him to really judge his character#im sure much of what he was saying was borne from guilt#so just tagging tommy as usual#he's the character i want to talk about#even if he's... dead
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