#and i think the idea of that is just so funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ozzgin · 2 days

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I really hope you continue the eldrich God story. I may or may not have become obsessed with the idea, and i think it's actually really funny and I also just love the idea of a God being in love with a human.

Also, I love your writing and art! I hope you're doing well!

Yandere! Eldritch God x Detective! Reader

Based on this prompt and this meme. You're sent to a remote island to investigate a string of murders, and end up with a horde of cultists and their Lovecraftian God who is very much obsessed with you. Don't worry, he just wants to help you with your case!

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, tentacle tomfoolery again

[More Monsters]

The island checks all the boxes for a stereotypical shady place: the grimy boat captain who talks in riddles and vague warnings, the constant fog, the tavern filled with rumors and fears, the bizarre statue of a creature with tentacles. You were expecting most of it, save for their patron God being a literal monster.

Soon after your arrival, you discover that you’re being followed by men in dark robes. Could it be related to your case? A little alcohol-aided interrogation, and the locals confess to you about the existence of a cult. The dots begin to connect.

Unfortunately for you, whatever theory is cooking up in your mind couldn’t be further from the truth. The patron Beast of the land has been watching you from the moment of your arrival. He’s rather intrigued by your nonchalant city attitude, your stubbornness, your lack of any sense of danger. Thus he demands that you’re brought to his lair.

A game of cat and mouse. You are now convinced this said cult is responsible for the murders, so you delve deeper into their secrets. At the same time, the men put all their efforts into chasing you down. The Lord's wishes are their command; for how long can you outsmart sheer numbers?

At last, they succeed. You’re dragged over, cocooned in thick rope. “My Lord, we’ve brought you the sacrifice”, one cultist proclaims victoriously. Sacrifice? The ancient creature gazes at the men with utmost confusion. He frees you from your restraints with a mere point of his tentacle appendage, and proceeds to lecture his devout following for treating his special guest with such shameful brutality. Everyone blinks in disbelief, you included.

What the hell is this, some beastly romcom? Once everything is cleared up, you dust your knees, stand up unceremoniously, and tell the cosmic deity you’ve no time for idle gossip. “There’s a criminal running free and it’s my task to stop it”, you bark. Aha, that’s the very same attitude that got his nebulous heart pumping with curious desire. He cannot explain the maddening interest he’s taken into you. The monster releases a monotonous hum, causing you to jolt in surprise. The cult leader gasps. “He…he wants to help you solve the case”, the man concludes, defeat in his voice.

“Does it have to be all of you?” You whine, clicking your tongue at the sight. It’s the morning after the godly encounter, and you’re greeted outside your room by the cult leaders and their monster. “I can’t be discreet with a dozen monks after me. Not to mention…” your eyebrows furrow. “What on Earth is he wearing? Is that a detective hat and a mustache? Are you mocking my job?” You demand, glaring at the eldritch beast and his ridiculous disguise.

“Excuse me, I’ll have to ask you to quiet down”, an employee suddenly interrupts. “You and the gentlemen over there.” You stare at him incredulously. Can he really not see he’s facing an enormous, tentacle monstrosity? You swear you can discern a grin forming across the creature’s amorphous, unholy features. Alright, you’ve been convinced. What now?

As a child, Sherlock Holmes was one of your favorite books. You'd flip through the pages and daydream about your own future as a detective, though your little fantasies never included Watson as a cursed entity of a thousand tentacles. The eldritch creature seems to be more interested in you than the case itself. Eyes always fixated on your movements, tendrils creeping around you, never leaving your proximity.

Why would he need to look elsewhere? He can already tell how things will unfold. He is, after all, the God of this land. He knew your wanted culprit had been hiding in a sealed room right under your nose, as you dusted for footprints and scribbled hurried notes. He knew the underground tunnel had deadly traps, which would have normally put your investigation to a swift end. "Kind of suspicious to leave his trail unguarded like this", you mumble in deep thought. The cosmic God smiles.

He wouldn't dare ruin your fun. Consequently, he only interferes when your safety is involved. As annoyed as he is by the criminal's persistent attempts to kill you, he doesn't want to steal your grand capture. Besides, he is very much content with the current circumstances.

As the two of you follow along the dark passageway, you clear your throat, lips pursed awkwardly. "Uh...Thank you for dealing with the obstacles", you finally say. The monster pretends to ponder your words. "Hey now, don't play dumb with me. The conveniently deactivated bombs? The mutilated guards clumsily stuffed behind the door? I am a detective, after all."

You feel a thick tendril wrapping around your arm, and you turn to glance at the creature. His eyes of spiraling depths regard you intensely. A voice suddenly echoes in your head; is he trying to communicate with you? Deep, resounding, and imposing. "I am looking forward to our next case."

"Next case? Sorry pal, I work alone-" your throat clenches involuntarily. Somehow, your innards are flooded with a particular kind of certainty, dictating an ironclad truth: you do not have the option to refuse. You sigh, exasperated. "Fine! Have it your way. At least skip the fake mustache", you beg, then pause. You slap a second tentacle that has made its way under your shirt. "And avoid groping me when I'm thinking. You interrupt the little gray cells at work." You tap your temple to prove your point, and the eldritch God bows lightly. Of course.

He'll refrain himself until you're off work, Detective.

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dmitriene · 2 days

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just thinking about retired!price meeting reader in the supermarket; her trying to reach the top shelf of marmalades and him catching a vase before it shatters and causes a mess.

several outdated pick-up lines and nervous scratches and tugs on the back of his boonie hat later, and barely contained chuckles from you, he asks you on a date. and it ends up being the best you've had in ages.

idk i just feel price hasn't flirted with anyone IN AGES, so he's reaallly out of practice, but the flush you try to hide with the back of your hand proves he's moving in the right direction. soon, he'll have your knees touching your chest or smth.

author's note: hi baby @feralforfrank!! your idea is so wonderful and i'm so happy to provide it to you in writing, except it's ended up being a one shot instead of drabble, i still hope i did it good!

you didn't think that your best date and at the same time acquaintance in life would be tied to such an embarrassing, funny situation, which maybe could become your ticket to the hospital, if not the charming man you met.

the week was nearing the end, and it was that time to which the need for a trip to the grocery shop was added to fill the fridge, which stood dullly and empty at home in the kitchen, so with an almost fully filled basket of groceries, you were currently reaching for the highest shelf with sweets in the shop.

an easy task, it would seem, if you didn't have to reach on tiptoes to a small pack of marmalades, bordering with the shelf on which household goods began, and there was a small vase that hurried to fall down when you accidentally hooked it with your elbow, immediately turning to freeze in place, looking how it was falling on you.

— “bloody hell, that' was almost' a goal to the hospital, yau alright' ther', darling?„ a rumbling, smoky voice, whose owner pulled you out of your little fright, making you blink quickly, lifting your head further to focus on the tall, bulky man carefully holding the vase that almost shattered on your head in his thick hands, the look in his vivid blue eyes worried, thick brown brows furrowed.

you nod stupidly, silent like a mouse, while your hand automatically takes the package of marmalades that you grabbed and press to your chest, the gears begin to work in your head with a creak, noticing how timely and quickly the man was near you and lend a helping hand, worthy of gratitude.

— “y.. yeah, thank you, sir, you were here at the right time„ you say a little meekly, a little shyly by what happened, but you notice how your words make him smile, making his eyes to crinkle, his mutton chops stretching along the corners of his lips, chest puffing behind a halfly zipped jacket with hoarse chuckle.

— “military instincts, i suppos'„ he answers briefly, turns away to put the vase back on the shelf, wide biceps flexing before he turns back to you, the same warm smile on his lips, but this time he reaches out a wide palm in your direction and adjusts the silly beige boonie hat on his head — “glad to know yau're fin' darling, call me john„

you accept the outstretched hand and smile charmingly, radiantly, uttering your name in response fleetingly, not noticing how his thumb fleetingly strokes your fragile hand and how he looks at you with a slight tilt of his head, when you purr even more shyly — “thank you for your service, sir — john..„ fluttering your eyelashes, john's smile becoming even wider.

— “no longuh, retired, but' i'll tak' that' to heart', luv'„ he murmurs warmly, and only now all the affectionate nicknames he was calling you past minutes catch up to you, burning flush creeping up your cheeks when you just nod, gazing at the way his cerulean eyes churn with something fiery, john's neck flushing fleetingly as he notices how long he's holding your hand in his, before letting go, yet not with another word in.

— “think i can manag' to invit' yau somewher' this evening?„ he asks so simply that you feel your palms start sweating and your face burns, stomach twisting slightly, what are considered as butterflies, and what makes you bite your lip, looking at him now only from under your fluttering eyelashes before agreeing hushedly, still more than shy — “yes, yes i do„

and you do pretty much, because when you practically flutter out of the store with his phone number in yours, there's only one picture that repeats in your head, how uncertainly john scratches the back of his head and says in half fascinated, half surprised deep voice — “hop' yau will be frei, then, sei ya, darling„

you don't remember how it all ended with current events, but you remember how it all began — a meeting in a small evening pub with good alcohol and john's company, dressed almost the same as in the morning in the shop, but this time without a boonie hat and with his jacket folded next to him, every bulging muscle and a bit of a fat hugged tightly by black shirt.

you remember the way john talked, low timbre of his hoarse voice that was accompanied by small chuckles, rumbling everytime he told you some situations from life, watching how you covered your giggles behind the palm of your hand, carefully listening to each special, exciting story from his service as a captain in the task force.

you watched as he touched you fleetingly, small brushes against your knuckles with the pads of his calloused fingers, leaving a burning feeling, something coiling in your stomach — with john's touches becoming bolder, and drinks more bitter, but there's a stroking motion against your knee that soothes and also makes you fidget.

by the time he moved closer, closing the distance between the table and sharing one leather sofa with you, all the cocktails you tried were boiling in your blood, your lips tingled from close contact with john's, as he purred something in your ear, stroking your supple thigh, to which you just nodded with barely contained giggles, catching only the edge of his words — “let' me show yau a good tim', doll„

that's how you ended up stuck beneath him, the unfamiliar bed smelled hardly of musk and light echoes of tobacco, the once clean sheets clung to your soaked back, just as wet as your squelching pussy, the one that is currently being pumped full of john's fat cock, your supple legs pressed against your chest, and you don't even feel them.

the only thing you feel is his harsh thrusts, rearranging your gooey insides as he molds your gummy walls in the shape of his thick cock, his one hand alone is enough to keep your legs pressed to your chest, while the free one is busy with cupping your cheek, watching the way your eyes threaten to roll back in your empty skull.

— “fuck, such a pretty fucking girl, knew i — it when i saw yau„ john almost growls, his voice a dull ring in your ears when his wide hips snap forward rapidly, muscular thighs slapping against your rounded ass that jiggles with each time his cock plunges deeper inside your slimy cunt, leaking tip presses against your spongy spot, and you howl.

yet, not uttering a word, tongue heavy inside your gradually drying mouth, the one john licks inside his own with fervor, you barely have time to respond to his movements, your nails digging into his back, inflicting fresh scratches on top of old scars, while you moan and practically wheeze with pleasure under him, pussy pulsing with gushing slick.

your brain screams that it's too much, but your lips part with slurred pleas of — “more, s — so close, harder, hmnn, p — please„ and john hushed you, cooes something warm and soothing against your ear, beard tickling somewhere against your thudding pulse where he sucks and bites constellations of marks, and you don't even register how you snap.

don't remember in which exactly moment your pulsing cunt clenched around his weeping cock, squeezing him for every drop his fat tip splashed against your walls, painting them with thick milky cum, his body still moving to drill you further into the mattress, into the wet sheets, when all you do is tremble, cumming uncontrollably with sobs and gurgles of moans.

that's the moment when everything cuts, and the next time your eyes flutter open, despite the ache and soreness in your body, john sits on the edge of the bed with a cup of tea in his hands, carefully stretched out in your direction as you lift yourself up, letting the dim morning sun illuminate your naked body in all it's glory, a pleased murmur is what greets you — “good morning, sweitheart'„

and it's is, a best morning in your entire life.

✎ 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵. 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴. 𝘢𝘰3.

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babyleostuff · 1 day

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"silent treatment prank" on their s/o | ot13

. . . how long svt can maintain their "silent treatment prank" after their s/o apologize even though they don't know what they did wrong

natalia's note: i don't think any of them would be able to hold out for long (as you'll see). it's a whole another thing when they give you the silent treatment when they're actually angry, but as a prank. never.

❥ seungcheol

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] one minute

at first he wanted to try out this prank as a way to see you sulk and whine, as he usually does when you give him the silent treatment, and he thought he was being such a genius after he came up with the idea. mhm, yeah - genius my ass. the second he sees your puppy-like expression after he doesn’t reciprocate your hug, it’s over for him. it was clear to him that you thought he was bothered by you, you even apologised for entering his personal space and hugging him. thus not even a minute in, he’s all over you again, kissing you all over your face and apologising (with his noot noot pout) for his silly behaviour because come one - seeing you upset over his stupid prank is the last thing he wants to see.

❥ jeonghan

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] ten minutes

as much of a menace as he is, he wouldn’t be able to ignore you for more than ten minutes. first of all - he simply gets bored. that’s it - bored. you’re right next to him, and he can’t talk to you, which is so??? he loves yapping when you’re next to him. second of all - he needs to touch you. yoon jeonghan needs his cuddles and kisses, and how is he supposed to get them if he’s ignoring you? third of all - he might be a bit mean (with love) sometimes, but there is no way he’d ever pull a prank on you which would involve you getting genuinely upset. like - making your partner insecure? mhm, not with hannie. so, he’d kind of try to ignore you for a bit (and failing miserably because he’d answer you half of the time anyways), and so after ten minutes he just gives up.

❥ joshua

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] twenty minutes

joshua is a bit similar to jeonghan with this (who would have guessed), the only difference is that shua is a bit more perseverant. ignoring you had never come easily to him and it never would be easy for him, but he had to admit that your slightly pouty lip was adorable, and he could practically see your brain trying to figure out what was going on. however, when he saw the first signs of you being actually upset, the entire bubble around this "funny" prank disappeared. no joke was worth your sadness, no matter how cute it made you look. shua quickly realised that the prank itself didn't make much sense and that he would much rather hug you right now than pretend that you weren't there at all.

❥ jun

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] one hour

he didn’t come up with that prank on his own, he’d never, but a lost bet is a lost bet, and he had to take the punishment. he felt so bad avoiding you, when you asked him about his day, if he was hungry, if he needed some rest, and when you started to ask if he needed space, some time alone, and if he wanted you gone for a while - jun’s heart broke. but he felt like it was too late to take everything back because you looked so sad and upset, and you probably hated him now too, so he couldn't say anything. an hour would be his breaking point - fuck it if you hated him, he needed you, and he needed to apologise, and damn the person who came up with this stupid prank.

❥ hoshi

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] 1.5 minute

when his friends told him about this prank, and how they pranked their significant others, soonyoung thought it was such a brilliant idea, and he couldn’t wait to try it out on you. as it turned out - it was not brilliant, it fucking sucked. ignoring you, your kiss you always gave him when he came back from work, your questions if everything was okay, was one thing - seeing your upset expression was a whole nother story. you even apologised for being so all over him when he barely entered the apartment, clearly feeling bad, and that would be the end of hoshi’s prank. this man is the simpest simp to ever simp, he cannot stand seeing you sad, especially over something you didn’t even do.

❥ wonwoo

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] 0.2- 0.3 seconds

when wonwoo heard about this prank he was baffled to say the least - what’s so fun in ignoring your significant other? like, what’s the point? wouldn’t you rather hold them close, and spend some precious quality time together rather than ignoring them? somehow, seungcheol and jeonghan managed to persuade him into giving the prank a chance, and wonwoo decided to say yes just to please his friends and get them off his back. no surprise - wonwoo wouldn’t last a second. he’s physically unable to ignore you, a single quiet “wonwoo?” makes him go “yes, baby?” *cue in attentive eyes and a puppy like expression*. besides, he’d never be able to stand you being upset, knowing he was the reason behind your small pout and eyes lacking their usual spark. (also, ignoring you equals no hugs and kisses, and that’s something wonwoo cannot stand).

❥ woozi

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] fifteen minutes

does not see a point in this “prank”, thinks it’s very stupid and not fun. the only reason he did it in the first place was to stop hearing the constant nagging of hoshi and seungwkan, and if that was what it took to satisfy them, then whatever. he held out for fifteen minutes just because he was working on a lyrics when you came to his studio, and whereas he ignored your first hello because of the prank, he ignored your next questions just because he got distracted by his work. you were used to your boyfriend spacing out during work so that didn’t really bother you, though he never ignored your “hello” so you got a bit scared that he might’ve been angry with you or whatever. it took only one glance at you for woozi to remember that he ignored you when you came in, and he immediately dropped whatever he was doing to apologise and properly greet you with an extra kiss.

❥ dk

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] 0.001 second

not happening, never in a million years. come on, do you really expect seokmin out of all people to ignore you on purpose? over his dead body. the thing was - he overheard about the prank during rehearsals and thought it sounded a bit fun? like, he’d get to see you extra pouty, and he loved nothing more when you got cute like that - so the prank had to work, right? no. when he got home later that night, and you greeted him in the hallway with his hoodie draped over your body, rubbing your eyes with the sweater paws because it was way too late for you to be up, all of his intentions of executing the prank went out of the window immediately. later that night, when he held you close to his chest he felt so silly for even thinking that the prank would be a good idea.

❥ mingyu

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] 2 minutes

this man is too big of a yapper and too big of a clingy puppy to ignore you, besides he’s not that big on pranks, especially if it involves you getting upset. just try to imagine mingyu ignoring you, even though you didn’t do anything wrong. you can't, right? that’s the thing - mingyu has to touch you at all times, and he loves nothing more than talking to you, so why on earth would he go around ignoring you, wasting your precious time together on a silly prank? he tried it out just to see how many minutes he’d last, and well - he didn’t hold out for long, definitely not when you dropped your head and left the bedroom, thinking he was annoyed with you. he’d immediately follow you and explain that it was just a stupid prank (in return you’d give him a silent treatment ☺️)

❥ minghao

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] two hours max

the trophy goes to xu minghao - he’s the strongest of them all, though that doesn't mean it’s any less painful for him. when minghao decides on doing something he commits, he pours his heart and soul into whatever he does, even if it’s just a stupid prank. he wasn’t sure how he even ended up in this situation - him in your bedroom, trying to occupy himself with reading, and you in the living room, probably trying to figure out what you did wrong for your boyfriend to be ignoring you. he would have ended this stupid prank a long time ago if it wasn’t for his pride and stubbornness because now he’d have to admit to coming up with this stupid ass prank, and making you feel bad just for his entertainment (which he was not entertained by). when the clock struck the second hour after he locked himself in the bedroom, he threw away the book and practically ran out to you, an apology speech ready.

❥ seungkwan

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] half an hour

his stubbornness to admit the defeat of his prank would be the only reason why he’d hold out half an hour, if not for that he’d be running back to you after a minute. seungkwan was sure this prank would be the perfect way to get back at you for your last joke that you pulled on him, but surprise surprise - it wasn’t. he was still going strong when he saw your small pout - he thought the prank was working, and he’d get his revenge, but it wasn’t before he saw how sad you actually got that he started regretting everything. you started avoiding him like fire, you didn’t even dare to look at him, and that’s when seungkwan realised the prank was a bad idea after all, like - he didn’t mean for you to get so upset, he just wanted to make you a bit whiny and pouty for him, but none of that happened. after half an hour he was like “fuck it” because he wasn’t able to stand seeing you sad.

❥ vernon

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] five minutes

to be honest he just gets bored with the prank. he didn’t come over to your apartment to spend his day off ignoring you, and whoever came up with this “silent treatment prank” is plainly stupid. for one, vernon hates seeing you upset - obviously. like, who would want to ignore their partner just for funsies, and see them upset over something they didn’t do and make them self conscious? besides, it was his day off, and he wouldn’t spend it ignoring you, so after five minutes he was ready to curse out his friends that made him try out this “prank”, and apologise for acting so silly.

❥ chan

[ ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ] 0.5 seconds

yeah, no - thank you next. this man, this man is a simp and he’s so in love with you it’s a bit worrying, there is literally nothing that could ever convince him to ignore you, for what - entertainment? because that’s what the prank sounded like, ignoring your significant other for entertainment. there were so many other things you could do together without either of you getting upset, so why not do them? one of his biggest goals in life is to keep you safe, loved, and happy - so he will not indulge in his friends' antics with this stupid ass prank. even the thought of ignoring you on purpose makes him sick, like… why? he would not be able to stand your upset expression, or the thought that you’d get self conscious about yourself. hell. no.

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chaoticallyfluffy · 11 hours

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I’ve been forced into reading Danny phantom fanfics because I’m desperate for Billy Batson content and for some reason half the stuff on ao3 is crossover stuff so I guess I like Danny phantom now?? Kind of?? I haven’t watched it and I don’t plan on it but I really like the idea of it.

Anywho,

Billy has maintained a very delicate balance of half truths and lies of ommision over the years to protect his identity as a literal child. He uses facts he learned from his patrons and his interest and knowledge in history, specifically Ancient Greece, to convince people he’s ancient.

Then one day this ghost guy joins the league claiming to be incredibly old as well except he just goes around straight up lying about stuff, saying whatever the hell he feels like about the past if it’s convenient to him or just funny. Most of it contradicts with the story Billy has been delicately weaving over the years and he’s kind of panicking.

One day he confronts the ghost guy and is like “I know your not actually ancient but I’m not a snitch, how old are you?”

And Danny kind of feels bad about pretending to be ancient in front of someone who has literally been around since at least Ancient Greece and confesses that he’s 14. Captain Marvel stares at him for a few minutes before breaking out in a big grin and transforming into a 12 year old Billy. They instantly become inseparable.

You’d think that Billy would ask Danny to stop lying all the time because it’s gonna get them caught, but no, he thinks it’s hilarious. Now whenever Danny says something absurd or directly contradictory of the actual history that Billy told them, they’re just like “oh yeah both of those happened at the same time but all the scribes were at the same spot so no one wrote about the other one and it was lost to time” or “there was a time loop for a good few years back in good old Greece so a lot of weird things happened that just didn’t stick.” Or “that did happen but only ghosts could perceive it.” Or sometimes, if they absolutely cannot get away with any other explanation, “dang must have dreamt it!”

The league is hopelessly confused and 90% sure they’re being messed with but they have no proof and if they look at the history at least MOST of the stuff they say is true so there’s really no reason to doubt it when Danny claims he once fist fought the god of time while the entirety of Rome cheered for him and placed bets, especially when Billy nods sagely and says he remembers having to clean up the space time continuum after the fight and that he lost the modern equivalent of ten bucks in the bet (he still doesn’t lie, just doesn’t disagree with the blatant dishonesty. He honestly did have to clean up the space time continuum multiple times after Danny messes with time a bit too much thanks to Clockwork + shenanigans. They make bets all the time too lol)

I think the contrast between ‘never lies’ and ‘lies all the time for funsies’ with the same motivation of ‘do the funniest thing possible at all times’ can be extremely entertaining and interesting.

#billy batson #shazam #dc captain marvel #dc #fanfiction #justice league #fanfic #danny phantom #danny fenton #crossover #dc x dp

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liel28 · 2 days

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Okay but you can't tell me that no one ever thought of breaking the fourth wall in Merlin fics??? Like I'm not saying have Arthur or one of the knights say "it's not a show MERLIN, this is not funny." Or something of the sort, I mean full on.

let Merlin suddenly spot cameras in the forest while they're on a quest or let Merlin and Arthur have a meaningful conversation and Arthur not being able to communicate with feelings saying something that he didn't mean and someone will shout "that's not your line!" Like how funny would that be? Let me give you an example:

Arthur: Merlin, I think someone is following us.

Merlin: I think so too sire. Wait.. is that? *Moves bushes to reveal camera crew* what the fuck? Who the hell are you?

Director: CUT!! Guys these are not your lines, you're supposed to say "were being followed" que: Morgana and Cenard.

Arthur: WHERE

Director: well they're not here now. We gotta retake it, c'mon.

And the whole event just repeats or something. While Arthur just stares at bushes to find that weird black box they were holding. (It was a camera) Or maybe the scene on S1 E1:

Arthur: I've been training to kill since birth.

Merlin: Woww, and how long have you been training to be a prat?

*pre-recorded audience laugh*

Arthur: where the heck did that come from.

Merlin: no idea bro

Arthur: anyways you can't address me like that.

Merlin: sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord *bow*

*ohhhs*

Arthur: alright seriously what the fuck

Or every time Uther makes dumbass decisions:

Uther: I sentence you to death!

*crowd boos*

Uther: who did that?! I'll shall sentence them to death as well!

Arthur: chill father it's the camera crew that follows us everywhere for years, you never saw them?

Uther: sorcery!!

Or once Merlin realizes the power he has in his hands he will just start to make fun of Arthur on camera:

Arthur: You know Merlin, you couldn't keep a secret, if your life depended on it!

Merlin: you'd be surprised!

Arthur: what's that supposed to mean?

Merlin: *staring at the cameras like in the office*

Like I cannot be the only one who thinks this will be so hilarious??

#bbc merlin #merthur #arthur pendragon #merlin #merlin bbc #merlin emrys #merlin x arthur #merlin fic #ao3 #breaking the fourth wall

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ssruis · 5 hours

Text

Really funny that tsukasa will be like “I’m so talented and great everyone praise me” & then when people try to thank him for something big outside of like. Acting or producing something. He’s like “I didn’t really do that much though”

(Specific context bc I’m not taking screenshots of two entire card stories: toya is thanking him for bringing him out w saki to the mall/arcade to cheer him up after main story akitoya divorce)

#same guy who said something to mizuki and akito that made them think & he interpreted their silence as awe and offered to give them his #autograph. & who had tourists ask him to take their photo and assumed they wanted a photo w him. he’s so funny.#mine #similar vein to this is nene having a pathetic wet animal moment over asking tsukasa to share info abt his acting class and he’s just like #sure I’d love to share :D/‘tsukasa is gonna reject my idea to have nenerobo in a play-‘ ‘ok yeah I’m on board let’s do it’#he’s still egotistical he’s just also nice.#also the first kamiyama festival where his classmates were like wdym it’s fun to work on the festival #& he’s like ‘because you get to work as a team towards a shared goal! :)’#‘why do you have so many examples’ it took a while to hunt down the specific toya card story moment (bc it was hiding in an akito card)…#i had to read around. u know how it is.

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tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang · 3 days

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I have a small[?] request!

I would love to see the reactions of Toman about foreigner!reader who can speak fluent japanese but when one of the toman boys trys to talk to reader they say "can't speak Japanese" in a horrible accent and walk away but then someone they know comes along and they start to speak Japanese like they didn't just say they couldn't 😭😭

reader is just really shy lol and dosent know how to talk to people like hakki lol

Lmao poor guys but ngl the reader is a mood, this is how i think toman would react!

Mikey- He is dumbfounded by this, did you actually just lie and ignore him???? Thinks you seem pretty interesting since you just did that to toman's leader (typically Mikey's the one doing the ignoring). Basically follows you around after that, pestering you and trying to get you to speak Japanese to him. He treats it like a game and thanks you for playing with him after.

Draken- He's a bit miffed when he realises you were faking not understanding him. Contemplates going over to you and questioning you about it (might do that depending how rude you were) but ultimately he figures he might have intimidated you so leaves it be. If he's interested in you romantically, he'll try to buy you a drink or snack to show you he's actually not going to hurt you and you don't need to be scared of him.

Takemichi- Yells out "HUH!?????" so that everyone turns to look at him. He just can't believe you would do that! Walks away after but mutters about it the whole day.

Baji- Laughs, he's amused but you're definitely not getting away with this. Tells you he's going to show you around but he's actually just messing with you. The whole day he uses a bad version of google translate to speak your language terribly, purposely trying to be bad to see how long you go along with this instead of just switching to Japanese. Actually ends up having fun with you though.

Chifuyu- He's a bit hurt by this, assuming you don't like him or that he looks bad or something. Probably looks in a window shop and tries to re arrange his hair a bit before approaching you again with a big grin. He's determined to show he's not a bad guy.

Mitsuya- Softly chuckles at your little act, he actually guesses correctly that you're a bit shy or overwhelmed. Gets your phone number from your friend so he can text you instead, thinking that might be easier.

Hakkai- Blinks a bunch, he has no idea how to react to this situation. Decides to back down though since you don't seem to like him much (he finally knows what it feels like). Gives you a wave before leaving.

Pah- For a split second he thought he was fluent in your language and you were still speaking it. But quickly realises the truth, storms over to you to question you on why you just did that. (He softens up a lot once he finds out the reason though).

Peh- Loudly asks what's going on, bringing a lot of attention to both you and him. When he sees the worried expression on your face, he assumes it's because you're scared of him. So in attempt to not make you cry (he hates when that happens and Mitsuya will frown at him) he tries to tell you a joke (it's not very funny).

Smiley- Walks straight back over to you and demands to know why you lied (probably threatens you a little too). He thinks this might lead to a fight which excites him but he's also embarrassed and generally curious. Nods when you explain to him then actually feels somewhat guilty.

Angry- Frowns harder, he takes a moment to watch you and try to figure out why you lied. Figures that you must be nervous around him, so he tries to do something nice like give you advice on nice places to sightsee.

Mucho- Raises an eyebrow at you but says nothing. He's intrigued but used to people wary of him because of his size and intimidating aura.

Sanzu- He's disappointed, it's not often that he's interested enough in people to try and talk to them so this disappoints him a bit. Watches you closely and tries to think of another reason to approach you/ talk to you.

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev

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leclerc-s · 2 days

Text

there’s no separating work husbands

series masterlist

rowan todd i now realize i have been silently suffering for far too long.

bailey winters LMAOOOOO!!! SUCK IT!! rowan todd you have no room to talk winters.

daniel jones-ricciardo suffering from what?

fernando alonso third-wheelitis

sebastian vettel that's not a word. fernando alonso it is now!

logan sargeant how are we supposed to believe that those two are mature adults?

ollie bearman better question, how are any of you adults?

alex albon sometimes it's a miracle any of us have lived as long as we have

yuki tsunoda I'M BACK BITCHES!

rhys jones has he always been here? isabella perez he muted us after pierre left RB and only popped in to make fun of pierre every once in a while.

rowan todd there he is, the bane of my existence.

yuki tsunoda little me?

lance stroll i'm convinced who's afraid of little old me was written for yuki, mae, and penelope.

charles leclerc now why would you tell them? mae jones-verstappen we can read this you fake bitch.

pierre gasly YUKI!!

yuki tsunoda PIERRE!

max jones-verstappen they're married. the faster we admit it the faster it's over.

mick schumacher that sure doesn't stop you from third wheeling daphne and daniel. max jones-verstappen sometimes i have to fight the urge to punch you schumacher.

yuki tsunoda if it helps, you're my favorite gasly rowan.

pierre gasly what the fuck yuki?

freya vettel this is yuki's 'breaking my silence' video.

yuki tsunoda rowan still visits me, unlike someone.

rowan todd it's true and he feeds me in return.

lance stroll because fuck the french right?

yuki tsunoda yes!

daphne jones-ricciardo i don't think i've ever seen a third-wheel and the significant other ganging up on the other person in the relationship.

sebastian vettel rowan and yuki like to defy the odds.

mick schumacher like alex and george when they dare each other to do stupid shit.

george russell SHUT YOUR MOUTH SCHUMACHER!! alex albon shut up mick!

ollie bearman i'm never introducing my girlfriend to you people.

isabella perez well you have to because i'm your mother.

pato o'ward you must oliver!

gael perez leave the poor boy alone oh my god.

dulce perez says the nosiest bitch in this group chat.

rowan todd i've been kicked out of my own apartment by my own boyfriend.

bailey winters it's almost too funny i have to laugh. rowan todd zip it winters.

isabella perez wait, they actually kicked you out?

rowan todd pierre told me, 'yuki forgot to get something, can you go grab it for us?'

rowan todd i thought they were sending me to yuki's car, but noooo!

rowan todd they sent me to the fucking store to pick it up.

daphne jones-ricciardo sometimes i genuinely feel bad for you rowan

dulce perez why sometimes?

daphne jones-ricciardo she chose pierre. this is no one's fault but hers.

mae jones-verstappen well you're the one who invited them both to your party, so if anything this is your fault.

natalia ruiz was she supposed to know rowan would decide, 'yeah, i want that french fucker.'

penelope trevino just start a pierre gasly hate club. have yuki and esteban join you.

isabella perez ooh! i'll join too, i'm still mad he ate my churros that one time. natalia ruiz count me in too tf. mae jones-verstappen i have pent up rage against pierre for making fun of me after my break up with max. count me in too.

isabella perez pierre's kind of an ass, why are you with him rowan?

rowan todd i can fix him (no really i can)

daphne jones-ricciardo remember what the ending line of that song is? 'woah, maybe i can't'

penelope trevino but she did?

natalia ruiz pierre is an asshole on the outside but on the inside he's a huge softie. we all know this.

mae jones-verstappen but it's so funny to shit on him.

daphne jones-ricciardo just hang out with yuki without him. make him suffer.

rowan todd that's actually a smart idea. brb going to ask yuki to grab lunch with me.

liked by yukitsunoda0511, gaelperez, daphnejonesricciardo and others

rowantodd not pictured is yuki screaming for help because pierre almost set the kitchen on fire. i was also sent to get the groceries while pierre 'hung out' with yuki.

tagged: pierregasly, yukitsunoda0511

view all comments

yukitsunoda0511 thank you for having me rowan!!

↳ rowantodd you're welcome to come back anytime yuki, but please leave your assistant at home.

↳ pierregasly this is slander against me.

landonorris i need to find someone who looks at me the way yuki looks at pierre

↳ baileywinters so guess who's single now.

↳ landonorris baby no! i didn't mean it like that!

user52 damn third wheeling in her own home

↳ user79 it seems like they're forcing pierre to third wheel them

user61 what dignified little lady martini is!

user25 pierre gasly having a yorkie as a pet was something i never expected when i became a formula 1 fan.

↳ user14 and this man still makes 🐶 jokes.

nataliaruiz not all of us can have a joris third wheel but at least yours feeds you.

↳ rowantodd at least it's not lando.

↳ penelopetrevino he sucks but only i can shit talk him.

↳ landonorris thanks mom!

user89 what a cute family, pierre, his ex-wife rowan, his husband yuki, and their child martini.

❤️ by rowantodd, yukitsunoda0511, and others

pierregasly ah, my two loves, yuki and martini.

↳ rowantodd this is why i've never written a love song about you.

↳ danieljonesricciardo this is why she got a divorce from you.

estebanocon ah, my favorite member of the gasly family, martini.

↳ rowantodd this is why you're her favorite alpine driver, besides jack

↳ jackdoohan aw shucks i'm honored.

olliebearman if martini goes missing, just know it wasn't me.

user35 everyday i'm reminded that martini is a 'happy divorce day' gift pierre got for rowan.

↳ user66 THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A DOG??

↳ user35 oh yeah, martini is an 'i'm happy we got a divorce' gift.

jeremyrenner is that tripod guy?

↳ rowantodd please stop.

↳ pierregasly i refuse to believe jeremy renner knows me as tripod guy. i've never been so embarrassed.

↳ isabellaperez is this worse than tom holland referring to you as tripod during the monaco gp?

↳ gaelperez sebastian stan and anthony mackie also know you as tripod.

↳ pierregasly i've never hated myself more.

↳ yukitsunoda0511 HA!

pierre gasly end my suffering.

esteban ocon LMAOOOO!!! SUCK IT BITCH!!

lewis hamilton oh no. what happened now?

pierre gasly THEY'RE GANGING UP ON ME!! I AM SUFFERING!!

sebastian vettel i thought we had another pr nightmare on our hands.

isabella perez no, everything is calm on that front for now.

rhys jones i can start a rumor about daniel being pregnant with max's child?

daniel jones-ricciardo why am i always the victim of his crimes?

rowan todd SUFFER LIKE I HAVE SUFFERED YOU CROISSANT!!

yuki tsunoda I'M STEALING THE GOD!! SHE'S MINE NOW!

pierre gasly YOU LEAVE MARTINI ALONE TSUNODA!!

charles leclerc STEAL HIS DOG YUKI! HE TRIED TAKING LEO FROM ME!!

daphne jones-ricciardo did they go out to get lunch without you?

pierre gasly how did you know?

dulce perez it was her idea.

pierre gasly i hope you have issues with your mic in paris daphne.

rhys jones i hope you piss in your tractor of a car pierre.

lance stroll he's scary. keep him away from sharp objects.

rhys jones i'm making it my mission to scare my sisters haters. pierre gasly, you're at the top of my list.

carlos sainz he's what the people describe as feral.

lando norris this is a trick to divert pierre's attention from rowan and yuki.

pierre gasly WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE!!!

rowan todd YOU'LL NEVER FIND US!!

yuki tsunoda YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!!

pierre gasly i'll find you two. i swear.

rowantodd has posted new stories

hanging without pierre, this is the best experience either one of us have had. oh look who decided to crash my yuki-time. that was my desert...

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @applopie @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @mypage-myfandoms @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @minmira95 @casperlikej @formulaonebuff @hopenshaw @ijustgomessitupx @hwalllllllelujah @doodlehunz @prongsvault

¡leclerc-s speaks! took the weekend off but i’m back! convinced this isn't my best work but it still delivers on humor (i think)

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #formula 1 #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic #pierre gasly #pierre gasly x female oc

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anothermansjeans · 10 hours

Note

OKAY HEAR ME OUT youtuber!reader x spencer, and they do the "i love the smiths' 'huh' 'i said i love the smiths 😃'" and then spencer like tackles her into a kiss trend i NEED THE PUBLICS REACTION TO THAT AND MAYBE MORGAN/PENELOPE/AARON?

THIS IS SO SHORT IM SO SORRY!! also i find it so funny that spencer wouldn't even aware of the trend they're doing and he just goes with it

cw: clueless spencer, cute little trend

wc: 248

youtuber!reader masterlist

Spencer had absolutely no idea what was going on. You were standing there, talking to him as your phone was currently taking a video and a sound was playing from it.

“I need you to kiss me when I say the word ‘Smiths’.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Huh?”

“Kiss me now!”

Still completely unaware, he stepped forward and smashed your lips together, walking you completely out of frame. He continued to kiss you until you both needed to come up for air, and when you did, you smiled at him.

“Can I post that video?”

He smiled at your question, knowing that if he was really uncomfortable, you wouldn't post it. “Yeah… it’s not weird, right?”

You softly laughed and hugged him tightly. “I haven't checked it yet, but I think it’ll be good. I’m sorry for not completely explaining the trend, but I thought it would feel more authentic this way.”

And he completely understood.

Messages from Penelope afterwards:

Spencer. Walter. Reid.

Why are you and your gf SO CUTE?

Ugh, I love you both, thank you for that TikTok

Messages from Derek:

My man

Who knew you had it in you

Pen sent me the video, lover boy. Stop ignoring me.

Bonus: some comments

@ user: OH PLEASE LORD LET ME LIVE A LIFE LIKE THIS

@ user1: sleeping on the train tracks tonight

@ user2: you can tell he had no idea what he was doing 😭 love him fr though

@ user3: SCREAMING CRYING WISHING THAT WAS ME!!

youtuber!reader taglist: @im-a-ghost666 @lyd14k4y @happiestcat @hauntedtv13 @obi-wansgirl @charismatic-writer @navs-bhat @itsleilabxtch @strabarrybat @hiireadstuff @cherrybb-ily @wietske27

let me know if you want to be added or removed!

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #youtuber!reader #criminal minds

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macabr3-barbi3 · 13 hours

Note

Apologies, first time asking for anything. But what about usually touch avoidant Alastor being intrigued by reader and he begins touching them more and more often that others begin noticing. When called out, he starts doing it more privately but maybe more intimately…? (Just to figure out how he feels about it of course).

Can end however you’d like but I just thought it’d be funny to have confused Alastor and flustered reader. 😅

*little snippet of the idea*

“Well aren’t you pretty as a picture?” He asked lowly. You rolled your head to the side allowing his clawed fingers to reach further. You moaned lightly as his claws scrapped against your scalp, a small line of drool falling from your lips as he continued his slow intoxicating scratches.

“Oh, now that isn’t a sound I would’ve expected to hear from this.” He says chuckling.

You buried your face in his thigh, turning to your growing blush as well as release more of your hair so he could move to another part as he continued his lazy caresses.

“I would’ve expected this more from Husker. But you, you are desperate for some affection aren’t you?” He crooned before his fingers wound on your hair and gave a gentle tug.

You felt your eyes water slightly and you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth as you fought back another low sound. That simple action had changed the simple pleasure to one of a much….darker more interesting one in you and you felt the stirrings of excitement begin to look in your stomach.

“Alastor.” You whimper softly, your eyes closed.

The hand holding your hair opens quickly and you slump down slightly as he released you unexpectedly until you tilt your face up to catch his eyes confused. His smile was seemingly frozen in place as his expression seemed mildly confused.

You blushed realizing what had happened and moved to push yourself off his lap. “I-Im sorry. I shouldn’t have-“ you begin saying before his hand moves to between your shoulder blades and he pushes you down firmly to keep your head in his lap.

“Hush.” He says harshly. His grin more of a snarl now. “I did not say anything to indicate I was done. I was merely….caught off guard.” He said, his tone softening as he spoke. His fingers returned to your head as he resumes slowly carding his claws through the locks gently. His ministrations entrancing as he intermittently scratched, rubbed, or pulled lightly at the strands. “Such a curious little creature.” He murmured as his claws trailed towards your ear. “So easily controlled…far too trusting.” He says as he catches the hair behind your ear in his grip pulling at it gently causing you to gasp.

His grip tightens before he pulls you up to look at him. “You’d allow me to do whatever I pleased to you, wouldn’t you?” He asked lowly, the static overlay on his voice thick. You nodded quickly, tears pricking your eyes at the painful grip in your hair.

But his responding smile eased you slightly before he relaxed his grip allowing you to return to his lap.

“Good girl.”

HELLO ANON FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THE SNIPPET WAS BEAUTIFUL I SCREAMED WHEN I READ IT 😭

Next: I hope this fits what you were looking for!! I decided to keep it mostly fluffy with some suggestiveness 💕🫶

When Alastor first meets you he doesn’t seem to know what to think of you- another cat demon roaming the streets of Hell that has found its way to the Hotel to join the Princess’ cause, surely. He eyes you similarly to how one might keep a cautious eye on a new pet- just sort of waiting to see what you would do. You watch him watch you across rooms and lobbies, keeping his distance, never getting too close.

Until one day when you’re making tea in the kitchen and he drops a hand on your head, trailing his claws lightly across your scalp like he’s petting you. You drop your cup in shock, and it shatters on the floor as you whirl around, the light dusting of fur lining your arms on end, teeth bared. You force yourself to calm down when you notice its just him, and when you ask him what he was doing he replies, “oh, just sating my curiosity! You looked so fluffy, I simply couldn’t resist.”

But he does it again. And again. Just tiny touches here and there, a hand brushed against your ears, a finger stroking down your tail- you think once you might have imagined that he pushed the pads on the paws of your feet while you slept on a lobby couch. He always sites intrigue as his reasoning for touching you, like he’s testing the waters for… something. He doesn’t deign to tell you what, of course, just emits his staticky little hum after every instance and goes about his day, unaware of the hammering of your heart, the instinctive desire to lean further into his touch. He does it everywhere, almost every day, and despite there almost always being other people in the room no one ever says anything about it.

Then Angel catches you.

Well, catches isn’t the right word- you weren’t doing anything wrong, or scandalous. But when Alastor drifts his hand over your head at the bar one night, a soft scratch behind your ears that makes you smile dreamily, the spider whistles high and loud. “Damn, Smiles, I thought ya didn’t like physical contact! Scratchin’ kitten here behind her ears, this is downright pornographic for you!”

Alastor stiffened at the words, a short burst of static screeching through the air before he vanished, dipping into shadows without another word. Your heart sank and you shot Angel a glare before letting Husk serve you something sweet and tasty that makes your cheeks heat and your limbs loose and tingly.

You ran into Alastor on your way back to your room, and when you lowered your head and made to sneak past him he dropped his hand on your head and scratched behind your ears again, this time placing a hand on your arm to guide you to lean against the wall while he did so. “Perhaps it would be best,” he says lowly, eyes lidded looking down at you, “if we kept this to move private instances, hm? I find that my curiosity is not yet sated, but I don’t relish the idea of others making comments on what should be kept between us. What do you think?”

You would have agreed to anything to keep his claws rubbing at that sweet spot behind your ears, but all you could do was nod, soft enough that his hand isn’t dislodged. “Lovely,” he murmurs, and rubs the thin skin of your ear between two of his fingers. You can’t stop the rumble of your chest as you purr a little at that, and his amused chuckle makes your face heat. “Let’s get you to bed, darling.” He leads you to your bedroom door and drops a kiss on the back of your hand before he fades into the shadows again.

And then he doesn’t touch you at all.

For two weeks.

No hands that brush against your skin or through your fur or across your tail. He sits away from you whenever he can, and when you do manage to snag a seat next to him on occasion he claims he has elsewhere to be and disappears, leaving you upset and twitchy every time. You hadn’t realized how much you had come to enjoy those touches from him, even if he was just doing it to see how he felt about it. You had never noticed him touching anyone else- it had made you feel a little like you were special. But he was avoiding you now, his hands a safe distance away like he was with everybody else.

You lament about it to Husk at the bar one night, a couple drinks in- thinking that, as a cat, he might relate to the touch-starved feeling you were experiencing- before he finally cuts you off and shoos you away, complaining that “I don’t need t’be hearin’ that shit, go bitch to him about it.” You take his advice and slowly make your way up the stairs, only getting lost in the halls twice before you remember where Alastor’s room is and knock lightly on the door.

It takes him so long to answer you almost leave, tail swishing dejectedly on the floor until the door opens and Alastor’s ears perk up at the sight of you. “Hello, dear! What brings you my way so late this evening?”

“Oh, I was just… I don’t know really, I’m-” You cut yourself off, looking down at the floor in sudden, burning shame, ears flattening on your head. “This was stupid, I’m gonna go.”

You’re halted in your turn to leave by a claw-tipped finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his. “Ahh, I believe I see the issue. Come in, darling, we’ll discuss it.” He takes your hand and leads you into his room, his shadow flicking the door closed behind you.

Alastor settles into his chair by the fire and gestures to the one across from him for you to sit in, eyebrows raising in amusement when, instead of following his gesture you drop to your knees, a whimper escaping as you hit the ground painfully and lean towards him to rest your forehead on his knee. “I see,” he murmurs, and lets his hand brush over your ears, making them twitch. “Heavens, we can’t have this, now, can we? Allow me to rectify the situation for you, dear.” He rubs gently at one of your ears, humming to himself when you tip your head to the side to grant him better access. “I hadn’t realized you felt so neglected- my apologies.”

“It’s fine,” you mutter into the fabric of his slacks. “I didn’t mean t’- ohhh.” Your words devolve into a soft moan when he scrapes his nails against the base of your ears, mouth falling open at the feeling of bliss that it generates.

“Aren’t you just lovely?” He asks, and you can hear the chuckle in his voice. “Who could have guessed a little isolation would put you in such a state- you’re just desperate for some affection, aren’t you?”

“Don’t tease me,” you whisper, eyes clenched shut so you can’t see the expression on his face- one of ridicule, surely. Perhaps this was what he had been curious about- how long it would take before you made a fool of yourself in craving his touch when it was denied after having it freely given for so long.

“Tease you? I would never.” He wraps a strand of your hair around his finger and pulls, gently but enough that your head comes up from his lap, tilting your face in his direction so he can look at you. Eyes still closed, they water at the tension, the faint ache of it pulling at something deep in the pit of your abdomen, twisting the pleasure from something soft into a dangerous, carnal thing.

“A-Alastor,” you whimper softly, hands coming up from where they’ve been pressed into the floor to grip at the fabric of his slacks, wrap around his calf with a gentle grasp. His hand releases immediately, your hair slipping through the fingers and making your head fall limp for a moment before you catch yourself. When you look up at him his smile is tense, brows cocked in a way that implies he’s confused about something and you realize your mistake- you take your hands off him immediately, starting to pull your body away from his. “God I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

Alastor reaches for you again, cups your cheek in one hand and brings his other over to twist back into your hair, gently guiding you back down to put your head back in his lap. “Nonsense,” he says, his tone a little rougher now before he clears his throat and looks down at you, something reminiscent of fondness tinting his expression. “I reacted in a manner I didn’t expect- you did nothing wrong.” He lets his clawed fingers card softly through your hairs, scratching and rubbing against your scalp in the most delightful way, making you shiver against him. The hand cupping your cheek brushes a thumb against your face and you lean into it. “So responsive. So trusting.” His voice lowers again, his grip in your hair tightening a fraction before he eases the pressure, resumes his soft stroking of you. “I think I could do just about anything right now and you’d be pleased as punch to allow me, wouldn’t you, dearest?”

“Yes,” you mumble, only half listening to what he’s saying as he continues to touch you, caressing your head and ears and neck with the soft brushes of his fingers and claws. It's lovely, the way that you feel right now- weightless, carefree, taken care of. Why had he stopped for so long? What had you done wrong? “Please,” you say, not really sure what you’re asking for, but ready to beg if needed.

“Ah, good girl,” he says with a soft smile. “We’ll save all that for another evening, hmm? I think you need some sleep for the time being- join me up here, darling.” He uses his hand on your head to guide you up from the floor, standing from the armchair as you do and releasing your hair to slide his arms under your legs and back, lifting you in his embrace. He deposits you onto his sheets, pulling the covers over you. “We’ll talk in the morning- rest well.”

When he moves to step away your hand darts out to grab his wrist- a weak gesture, but enough to halt him in place. “Please stay,” you ask him, not willing to let the touch go quite yet after having been denied for so long.

“I suppose if you insist.” Alastor huffs a sigh but acquiesces, a tendril of shadow reaching across the room to drag his armchair closer to the bed. He takes a seat and resumes his gentle stroking of your ears, occasionally letting his hand run down to brush over your shoulders and the end of your tail where it’s flicking out from under the covers. “Now sleep, dear- sweet dreams.”

You drift off to the soft sensation of his hands on you, Alastor’s staticky hum lulling you into an easy sleep.

#hazbin hotel #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #alastor x reader #alastor #x reader #alastor fluff #requests <3 #my stuff <3

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timkontheunsure · 22 hours

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Some of the reasons I think Stolas is on the spectrum

(finally getting around to popping this on up too).

He has special interests & misses social cues while being happy in them.

It not really normal to be happy reading legal documents when someone's life is on the line. But Stolas is just vibing that he gets to help with his love of words. Yay him!

Stims

He stims when both happy & sad to help regulate his emotions.

His happy stims are:

*clapping when he gets to take Via to the circus, because he thinks they can enjoy it together.

He also does this with contract reading.

*He hopps up and down when his dad gives him a new books. Also when getting ready for his date with Blitz. He's just so happy he needs to hop.

His sad stims:

*are bang his head again and again about the engagement.

*He self sooves with chest strokes when Blitz says his outfit is too much.

*He hand rubs and wringing his hat when worrying about Via in LA.

Special interests

The there's that Stolas info dumps on the playdate with Blitz all about his books and about plants.

Stolas also feels he has to explain why Blitz horse joke was soo funny. And why's it so funny?

Because it's accurate. I love his little cutie.

But he's also kept up his love of plants as a major hobby now he's an adult. When most people tend to swap interests as they age.

Side bar

His comfy resting hand position is t rex hands. This tends to be an autistic thing. Also works well as an owl.

Sensory issues

Stolas appears to also have some sensory issues too. When his a child he appears to be struggling when Mr Butler touches his hair out of nowhere.

But he's fine with Blitz doing it when they're kissing. This shows a lot of trust between them.

I think it's likely sensory issues are the reason why he swaps into his comfy, very old robe, as often as he can too.

Specific communication issues

While Stolas is very good at some communication styles, he's pretty bad at others.

When the audience think it's another joke about wanting to keep a puppy; he immediately knows Blitz's is panicking the studio. And tries to get to him.

However he doesn't get that his dirty talk is way OTT, because he's mostly likely coping it from the erotica. Not lived experience.

Speaking of erotica.

There's obviously a rule that reading is allowed at the diner table. But Stolas doesn't get This book isn't appropriate to read there.

Another rule he appears to follow more rigidly than most probably would; is that when you get an appointment you wait till you're seen.

Ozzie's ment to met Stolas at noon, but doesn't make it till 4 pm because of problems with work.

Stolas is only a couple of days out of the hospital and is probably feeling horrible.

But he sticks around a minimum of 4 hours to be seen, because he feels he has to.

(I'm assuming he also got taught you turn up earlier rule, but this just a guess).

Stolas genuinely wants to do something Via will enjoy, and he's fine taking Via to stylish occult when she asks.

But didn't get it till she's crying and sad that she wasn't enjoying Loo Loo Land.

"I take it you are.. not having fun." She needs to spell it out. Sarcasm isn't easy for him to interrupt.

His was obviously thought taking his daughter and his lover out to a theme park would be a good way to introduce them.

It's the sort of plot that only works on a novellas. And that's probably when he got it from. (Probably worked great for Gabrielle and Alejandro).

These are examples of him Masking, and not understanding why it didn't work.

Stella's being dangerous to be around = take Via out somewhere for her to have fun to blow off steam.

Wanting your lover and daughter to like eachother = ask IMP to tag along as the completely unnecessary bodyguards.

He doesn't really get that flirty with his affair partner, in front of his kid while going through a divorce isn't a good idea...

He also struggles to understand when his flirting comes off as condescending too. With "ittybity imps like you" or calling him Blitzy in public. He's most likely him coping language from other goeita.

But Stolas is very good at knowing when knowing when Blitz is fine being picked up, when to reassure him with face stokes, or how to calm Blitz down from a panic attack in just a few seconds.

So it's not that he's just never learnt these skills. It's just that some communication skills are harder for him than others.

But if you disagree that fine. 🙂 I just wanted to put down some of my thoughts why I think he could be.

#helluva boss #stolas #autism in helluva boss #Stolas on the spectrum #helluva boss theories

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qcomicsy · 12 hours

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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it #I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool #fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell #marvel through at him #but rant aside #it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched #comic book and aren't pretending to do so #people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something #comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining #and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and #and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core #aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them #you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon #and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon #content as fannon #and *refuse* to leave either #Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are #how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore #I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too #but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore #sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics #I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters #Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore #fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love #nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007 #vent

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transmascaraa · 1 day

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Reader made a playlist with songs that remind them of their sillies that they listen to whenever they're not around

multiple characters headcannons!

playlists.

characters: gaming, wanderer, tighnari x gn!reader

author's note: THIS ONE'S NEXT OKAYY also i have a pretty similar one (this) but i hope you enjoy anyway🥰 (sorry it's not that long lol)

♡ Gaming

-so you were bored one day as you were sitting on the couch a bit away from him.

-and you had a playlist called "gaming with gaming vibes"(or something else idk)

-wanting to steal his attention, you send him the link to you playlist.

-he opens the message soon after, and then just smiles at you.

-"gonna listen to this every day from now on—"

-that's when he got up and put his phone on bluetooth with the speaker and turned on the first song on the playlist, clicking "shuffle".

-"—with you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⑅ Wanderer

-acts hella annoyed when he receives the message

-"what the fuck why would i listen to any of this."

-after about 5mins, he's still going through the songs in the playlist and randomly says:

-"why the hell did you add bohemian rhapsody-?"

-you just look at him trying to hold back your laughter.

-but you fail so you start laughing your ass off.

-"what the hell's funny, you idiot!?"

-"you- you- *beelzebub has a devil put aside for me for me for meee*" you literally start mocking him with random lines from the song.

-"you have something wrong with your brain, i swear."

-he listens to your playlist 24/7.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿ Tighnari

-definetly IS a little surprised at first

-he goes through the playlist with you.

-you have to tell him an explanation about why did you add EACH OF THEM and why you think it fits him.

-then he'll lecture you either about how it doesn't fit him or he's gonna compliment you.

-"i appreciate your hard work on this playlist, i really do. and surprisingly, a lot of the songs are ones i relate to. thank you, love."

-will definitely listen to it whenever he can.

-and he'll recommend it to cyno, kaveh and alhaitham. (and collei if there's nothing nsfw ofc)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FINALLY

adorable idea overall

i loved writing the one for wanderer

| @keeyisbored | @mariaace <3

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bucksdaffy · 1 day

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i mean i think it's fair to ask what show y'all are watching when you act like tommy's this amazingly well developed character and he and buck have this deep emotional connection lmao. the fact that people started shipping buddie by the end of 2x01 if not the second eddie showed up in buck's pov working out shirtless to 'whatta man' and nobody shipped bucktommy til that kiss should tell you which is the ship with an Actual instant attraction and emotional connection (on both sides) even if that first part was obviously unintentional and which is a random ship forced together for shock value that we're all supposed to cream ourselves over because of The Representation.

i can promise you no one acts like tommy is a well-developed character, and he and buck already share some deep emotional connection. what we do acknowledge, however, is the potential. and because plenty of people can see it, they simply choose to enjoy it.

people who started shipping buddie by the end of 2x01 ALSO only saw the potential. buck and eddie did not share any deep emotional connection by that point as well. what's funny is that eddie also wasn't a well-developed character yet too. but you don't seem to trash on people who started shipping them at that moment, why is that? if you want to criticize us, you should at least be consistent.

and also i'd argue there WERE people who started shipping (although perhaps "shipping" is too strong of a word so rather who did see something between) buck and tommy as soon as they shared this little moment at the end of 7x03. many people speculated if this was some kind of foreshadowing of a future relationship between the two of them. some even enjoyed the idea. so i don't think it's right to assume absolutely no one hoped for them to be canon before they kissed.

at the end of the day, the basic difference between buddie and bucktommy is that buddie is, and always has been, fanon, while bucktommy isn't. i'm really not interested in what little feelings of yours you assign to buddie. just because YOU think some moments between buck and eddie are romantic doesn't mean everyone thinks so. in fact many people interpret them as platonic. and that's the thing with buddie: there is no real evidence to prove their bond has any romantic elements to it. no acknowledgement of feelings, no kiss, nothing. neither buck nor eddie has canonically ever shown that one is romantically interested in the other. in canon they are just friends. and nothing you say will ever change that unless tim and co ultimately do decide to make them canon one day. until then i'm sorry to say it's all in your head.

you should realize that not everyone enjoys constantly reading into every interaction buck and eddie have to prove there are romantic implications between them. some people simply prefer having things laid out before them. it's honestly wild to me that you can't accept there are people who'd take canon over fanon any day. if you're angry because people don't see what you see while watching the show and instead enjoy what is actually happening on the screen, i think it's a sign for you to take a breather and focus on real world for a while.

#anon #bucktommy #platonic buddie #evan buckley #tommy kinard

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