#and i think as part of his open door policy once he has his own place
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The Lost 2
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of loss, grieving, death, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
Characters: nomad!Steve Rogers
Summary: You move into a shared flat and encounter a mysterious man.
This one's a bit longer than the intro.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
Your first shift at the store goes well enough. Aziz, the manager, shows you where everything is and goes over the policies. The till is behind a window, a slot just big enough to get products and money through. It’s close to your apartment so not the best part of town. The next day, you’ll be alone.
You head home with a dented can of ginger ale in your bag. Aziz said you could have it for free since half the paint was scraped off during shipping. You don’t drink much soda but it would be a nice treat.
You find yourself dragging your feet as you come onto your street. You’re still getting your bearings but you recognize the boarded up white brick building across from the converted two-storey house. You stare at the faded brown facade of your abode, fumbling with your keys nervously. You still feel so out of place.
You cross the road and climb the steep iron staircase that leads up the side of the house to the second floor. The heavy metal grate that shields the thick wooden door rattles as you open it and clanks behind you loudly despite your efforts to keep quiet. The place feels desolate as you enter. Aside from last night, you haven’t encountered anyone else.
You creep into the kitchen and go to the fridge. On it, there’s a yellow paper with blue ink on it; numbered bullets that you read slowly. ‘House Rules’, the jagged capitals spell out the title above at least a dozen lines. ‘Clean up after yourself; mark your food; no stealing.’ That paper feels very apathetic, suggesting that no one really talks to each other here. Maybe it’s better that way.
You open the fridge and search your bag for your can of ginger ale. You hesitate to put it inside. You have no way of marking it. You consider the remnants of the logo on the side. You could just have it warm.
“There’s a sharpie in the top drawer,” a voice breaks the rigid silence like cracking ice.
You glance over at the man standing in the doorway, the same that leads to your bedroom. You quickly peel away your eyes and nod. You can’t manage a thank you as your surprise has your adrenaline pulsing.
You close the fridge and put the can on the counter. You open a drawer, not much inside besides electric tape and the promised sharpie. You write your initials on the top of the can as the man enters and stops a few feet from you, popping open a cupboard with a harsh click.
You think it must be the same man as the night before. He’s about the same size as the ominous shadow, at least from your periphery glance. You sidle over and pull the fridge open once more, setting your can in the door before you close it gently.
Tension roils around you as the man takes out a large container. It’s unmarked except for the sharpie emblazoned on the white plastic; ‘S’. Just a single letter.
You back away and fix your bag on your shoulder, shuffling around him in the small kitchen. He doesn’t say anything but you can hear his long exhale. It sticks with you how easily he’s snuck up on you twice. You shrug it off as paranoia from the shelter.
You’ll be okay. You have a lock on the door here. You have your own space. A tiny haven in an immense world.
🚪
Your first shift alone isn’t as intimidating as you thought. Most people come in and grab what they need then go. You ring them through with as much friendliness as you can muster. Most don’t respond, some chatter a bit, rambling about a thousand different things, and others even glare at you as they point to the small earbud in their ears. The flow of customers is ebbs and flows, busier around lunchtime and dull after two.
You’re almost done with your hours there. You take the time to bring out the bag of chips Aziz marked for stocking. You sit on the step stool as you set to find the palace for each brand. You put the Cheetos on the shelf as the door chimes and signals the entry of a customer.
You stand and peek over the shelf. You see only a man’s shoulders and the back of his head as he turns his back to you, perusing the wall of magazines. His hair pokes out in shaggy shanks from a ball cap. You grab the folding foot stool and the box and quickly scurry back behind the counter.
You put them down clumsily, a loud clap as the stool falls against the back of the counter. You pull shut the divider behind you and go to the till. You brace the counter as you peer over at the man again but try not to stalk him.
He strides slowly through the store, just along the back wall as he peruses the bottles and cans of cold drinks. He opens a door and takes something out. You look down and review the checklist for your shift. The last thing you need to do is balance the till before the evening shift gets here.
You listen to the man’s steps, flicking your eyes up now and again to keep track of him. You can also see him on the security screen through the black and white lens. You don’t even get a good look at him then as he keeps his chin straight, the beak of his cap effectively hiding his features.
He approaches the counter and you pop your head up. You’re stunned to recognise him. The same man from your flat. Your neighbour. Nameless and mysterious.
“Hey,” he says as he puts his fare on the other side of the plastic barrier.
“Hello,” you eke out. You’re getting used to your own voice again. In this job, you don’t have a choice. “This everything?”
“Mhmm,” the hum is rocky in his throat.
You grab the two bottles, part of a two for three deal, and scan the premade protein milkshakes one at a time, then the magazine, Time, and a bag of pretzels. Nothing too unusual. His fingertips scratch the coarse hair along his jaw as he clears his throat.
You read out his total and he reaches into his jacket. He pulls out several bills and counts them out before handing them over. You take them and tally his change from the drawer.
“Shouldn’t be working alone,” he comments as he holds his hand out for the change.
You drop the coins into his cupped palm and recoil at his remark.
“Not to scare you,” he tucks the change away.
You shake your head. No, you thought it before but a job’s a job. You scrunch your lips and look around evasively.
“Do you want a bag?” You offer, not knowing how else to respond.
“Please,” he accepts, “and thank you.”
You nod and pull out a bag. You take his items and shove them inside as he watches quietly. You push them through the slot and he takes the handles, pausing as you feel him looking at you.
“When you walk home, avoid Mason Street. Go one up to Doxtator. Safer,” he advises.
You dip your chin, embarrassed. You know you don’t look like much but you can take care of yourself. You have so far.
He leans back on his heel before twisting on his soles. It squeaks with his slow hesitation and he marches to the door. You look up as the chime goes off and he disappears into the street. Only forty minutes to go.
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#drabble#series#the lost#mcu#marvel#avengers#captain america#nomad!steve
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"Boytoy"
WARNINGS; 18+, shameless smut, ken x fem!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, praise k!nk, size k!nk, virgin!ken, switch!reader, sub!ken, dom!ken, the plot doesn't connect with the movie, kinda slow burn, grammar mistakes
Part 2
"his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room"
~wildest dreams, taylor swift ~
Y/n's pov:
Y/n wakes up in the morning, feeling groggy and disoriented.
No one can find out about the encounter she had last night with her Ken doll. (Not that anyone would believe her if she were to tell them!) Still, she certainly wants to keep Ken's access to the real world secret from her father, because his company's policy is to put the dolls in boxes and send them back to Barbieland once and for all.
''Her Ken doll'' sounds wrong. It sounds wrong because Ken had looked like more than just a pretty object. The previous night, she realises, she met a real man, with real feelings and real desires (as oblivious as he had looked). She almost makes herself blush thinking about their small make-out session. Y/n can't deny just how attracted she's to Ken, he's meant to be perfect lookin' after all. But his character had managed to shine through as well, energetic and enthusiastic, but also emotional and in need of constant reassurance. "If that doesn't make him real, I don't know what does."
"Does that all mean that I want to see him again? He's probably not coming back, I literally kicked him out like a dog..."
These are some of the thoughts that preoccupy her mind as she's showering, having breakfast and as she's getting ready. What pulls her out of it, is in fact, Ken.
As soon as she opens the door of her apartment y/n steps on something and looking down she spots...her old Ken doll, the one she accidentally put in her backpack yesterday (also the one she still has to repay for years of ignorance, the one that kissed her with a need and held her with a desperation that made her knees all wobbly). However, right now he isn't a six foot tall man, but a plastic toy y/n is once more putting in her backpack.
~~
Ken's pov:
Ken wakes up to the sound of someone calling his name. To his distaste, that someone is not sweet y/n but Barbie. He has to get up for another "perfect" day at the beach.
It takes great effort to go through his everyday tasks (greeting Barbie, smiling at Barbie, complimenting Barbie), especially when the only thing he can focus on is the memory of the moments he shared with y/n. He thinks of consulting Weird Barbie, but he changes his mind as quickly as he made it up.
Throughout his day, Ken is trying to only think about how y/n's plush lips fitted perfectly, locked flawlessly against his own, about her fiery gaze, a gaze that was directed to him (maybe even caused by him). At the same time, he's doing everything within his power to keep out of his mind the dryness of her last words. She had asked him to leave. Did that mean that y/n didn't want him as a boyfriend?
Something is changing inside him, he can feel it. He wants to meet y/n again, prove her he's worthy of her attention. She had made him sweat just with her closeness, she had made him shiver merely by using her hands (small, delicate hands in comparison to his big, manly ones) and she had also made him gasp when she had deepened their kisses.
Ken is determined to return the favour, though he's not entirely sure how. He's feeling the primal need to hear her repeat his name over and over, while... what?
Ken's shorts continue to bother him all the while he's making these thoughts. And so they were bothering him last night.
~~
Both y/n's and Ken's day goes on and on, seemingly endless. They're both feeling an intense sense of restlessness. The Barbies are often catching Ken zoning out with a starstruck expression clouding his blue gaze, while y/n's mind is constantly putting together the dirtiest of fantasies instead of paying any attention to her classes.
But there's also an underlying question they both try to push away. Can this happen again? Can Ken just wake up in the real world like it's no big deal? And even if it does happen tonight, what are they to do?
~~
Y/n's pov:
Y/n returns to her apartment at 22:30. She's exhausted, but has to admit her first day as a university student wasn't that bad. Y/n met a group of three other first-years that seemed like nice company. They had actually just had a group study session at the library.
As soon as she locks the door behind her, y/n opens her backpack, taking out Ken and gently placing him on her small couch. She then proceeds to have a hot, refreshing shower before ordering pizza or something for dinner (her mom would be rather disappointed).
~~
Ken's pov:
"Good evening Barbie!" he calls for the seventeenth time (that's how many Barbie dolls y/n is in possession of).
Ken is finally free of all his duties. He can't help but let out a giggle at the thought of meeting y/n again. But when the giggle leaves his mouth, he isn't smiling. He can't be sure whether y/n liked men that giggled. He craved for this adorable, sweet human to see him as a man, the way she probably saw the men he noticed on some of the posters that were decorating her bedroom.
With a great deal of effort and patience, Ken was able to fall asleep, while wishing with every fiber of his being he would wake up somewhere close to his dear, fingers crossed.
~~
"Ken...Ken hun, wake up"
"Hmm, y/n..." The way he pronounced her name in his half asleep and half awake state, caused one of y/n's giggles to surface. Of course Ken fully wakes up at the sound of such a clear, angelic sound.
"It's good to see you beautiful" he tells her in a too casual short of way, in order to mask his uncontainable joy (and pride) that he made it back to her.
Ken then yawns, a satisfied grin spreading on his face as he's standing up from the couch, looking down at y/n. Y/h has just come out of the shower and she's currently wearing nothing but an oversized tee and a pair of comfy panties with a matching bra hidden underneath.
Y/n's eyes widen momentarily, making Ken feel suddenly self conscious about his behaviour.
"So you're not angry at me?!"
"What-
why would I ever be angry at you, y/n?"
He definitely isn't the epitome of intelligence.
"You wanna sit?", she asks motioning to the couch. And so they sit in awkward silence.
Ken has never felt so nervous in his entire existence. Before going to sleep, he had come up with the perfect plan so that y/n would let him stay with her instead of tossing him out again. He was supposed to ask her to have a pyjama party with him, but now that they're sitting next to each other, arms and calves touching, the only thing he can focus on is his sweaty palms.
"You're really handsome you know", y/n mutters and she immediately regrets it, blushing.
On the other hand, Ken, who had never been called "handsome" before, physically feels his chest swelling up with pride.
"Yeah, I get that a lot." (yesyesyes she thinks he's handsome)
"Of course you do...
I just wanted to say, about last night, I can't stop thinking about it Ken, and I can't stop thinking about you either. I know that in the past I failed to treat you... in a decent enough way?? but I want to try again."
For a while Ken doesn't speak, not because he didn't like what he heard, but because he's taking it all in. He is in awe that y/n deems him important enough to have a place in her mind for him -hopefully in her heart as well- (Ken is very sentimental about that stuff).
"I had never done anything like last night y/n. That doesn't mean it was bad! It felt...good actually... and- and I've been thinking..."
That must be the hardest thing Ken has ever done. But the sincere and kind way y/n is looking at him gives him strength to continue.
"...now that we are boyfriend and girlfriend, we should have a sleepover."
"We are what?!"
"I thought we-"
Ken can't go on as he's once again aware of the heavy weight settling in his chest, making him cast his gaze downward, but y/n, remembering the way things work back in Barbieland, understands the meaning behind Ken's words.
"I didn't mean for it to sound like that sweetheart. I guess, I can't believe it, that's all. I just am too excited to be your girlfriend!"
And she's speaking the truth. She just has to explain, or better, show Ken, how girlfriends and boyfriends' sleepovers work in the real world.
She reaches for his hand, giving it a squeeze and their eyes meet. Ken is wearing the biggest, most smug and boyish smile, making y/n smile too in return.
Ken is very pleased with the way things have worked out so far. Y/n is *his girlfriend*. Y/n is *his human* and that makes him the luckiest Ken ever created.
"So, are we gonna have that sleepover?"
"Sure! It starts now!", y/n says with a genuine excitement that makes her y/e/c eyes sparkle. At that moment she forgets about ordering dinner, about the consequences of her actions, Mattel and her father. She's determined to spend the night with her new special boyfriend, no questions asked.
~~
And so they spend a good two hours talking about anything and everything. While y/n is showering Ken with questions about Barbieland and her favourite childhood companions, the Barbies (Ken has no problem answering, he loves how y/n seems to hang on every word he says), the blonde man also has some questions for his human. (he has to know; does she like the beach?)
But, as their silly conversation goes on, Ken (and y/n, she's just hiding it better) finds himself staring at her lips. This time, they're glossy (she had applied lip balm after her shower). His mouth is practically watering and his chest is beginning to heave.
"Ken are you okay sweetheart?" y/n asks him in her most innocent voice, placing a hand on his (thick) thigh and she swears she felt the muscles there tensing involuntarily under her palm.
"Can you-
can we do it again?"
"Honey, please be more specific", she almost feels bad, teasing him like that (and he has seen nothing yet).
"Sorry y/n (he does get butterflies from all the petnames). I meant, like yesterday."
He places a hand on her arm, gripping it slightly. Y/n is smiling at herself, he's so eager.
"You remember yesterday? We kissed, but...like a lot...Let's do it again."
His voice while uttering the last sentence sounded grave but Ken is needy, too needy to hide the impatience in his eyes.
Without another word, y/n's hands search for and find a place at Ken's platinum blonde hair and then she places herself on his lap, before he even manages to register what is happening. Out of reflex, his own hands are on her waist in no time, so as to prevent her from losing her balance.
Tonight, the kisses that they share are rougher, lips getting swollen and reddish fast.
In a moment of bravery from Ken's side, he fights for dominance with his tongue, wins it, causing y/n to moan in his mouth. The vibration of her trembling moan travels all the way to his core, resulting in him to shiver.
Soon after that, y/n breaks the kiss, desperate for oxygen. Ken whines pathetically at the loss of contact. He looks so hot like this. His bare chest is covered in sweat, his expression is almost adorable as he tries to slow down his breathing, cheeks flushed and hair sticking to his forehead.
When y/n leans in for a second round, she's hungry, tasting Ken again and again, until she notices he has begun to shift beneath her, in a very uncomfortable short of way. His breaths have also become more shallow and quick.
Concluding Ken has zero knowledge regarding the human body is easy for y/n, but that doesn't stop her from taking off her t-shirt, throwing it behind the sofa. Ken's blush deepens but he's unable to take his gaze off y/n's full breasts, roundness enhanced by the bra she has on. His hands are roaming her back, nails emitting shudders and mewls out of her.
Y/n on top of him, glistering with sweat and holding on to him by flatting her palms on his chest (she can feel his heartbeat beneath her fingertips), so small in his arms, so light, makes him whimper with need and buck his hips against her, well, core.
He groans loudly.
How is it possible? Ken looks so irritated and troubled because of his growing erection.
Can this mean he never had one before, while living in Barbieland?
Y/n attempts to readjust her position on his lap, but the firm grip on her hips is preventing her from moving. Ken looks deeply into her eyes, pupils blown.
"Y/n...wait...just wait a min-
a- ah, something is happening to me."
Now he's a panting mess, wearing a concerned expression, that quickly turns into embarrassment when y/n explains to him that it's all normal and no, nothing is wrong with him.
"But why is it growing and it hurts too!!", the whines that escape his mouth are only making y/n wetter by the minute.
She cups his face in both hands, calming him down, before helping him out of his flannel. Y/n then gets off him, planting her knees in the carpet in front of the couch. Ken immediately averts his gaze away from her, preferring to look at the ceiling.
"Ken, please lift your hips for me" Ken is hesitant, hesitant to be seen completely naked in front of y/n, but he trusts her.
Y/n manages to get him out of his beach shorts and underwear, his already too hard cock springing free, accompanied by a breathy moan coming from Ken.
Y/n almost gasps at the sight of it. He's a doll, he's literally perfect, even his member. To be honest, y/n had never given a blowjob in her life, but she had collected enough information on how to do it and right now she wants nothing more than to please Ken.
"Y/n, love, what is happening...mmfff"
Ken moans as his beloved girlfriend starts to kitten lick his tip, dripping with precum. His face is as red as a tomato and he's doing his best at trying to hide it behind the cushions.
Y/n steals glimpses of him through her lasses as she raps her soft lips around his thickness, holding the base of his now throbbing cock with one hand. Ken's head is laying on the back of the sofa, his Adam's apple visible, bobbing up and down with each sound that leaves his mouth.
Ken almost cries at the feeling, bringing a hand to muffle a series of moans he really isn't proud of. But he can't help it, he's too overwhelmed by the sensation of y/n's tongue swirling around his tip and then massaging his balls with her hand.
And when y/n finally stops teasing him, only to start bobbing her head up and down, Ken audibly gulps before fisting a handful of her hair.
She monetarily takes him out of her mouth with a loud pop. She's now caressing his thighs, throwing praises his way, in hopes he'll stop acting so shameful.
"Babe the sounds you make are driving me insane. You are so big, you are being so good Ken." At the sound of all those praises his dick gets impossibly harder, twitching with want. Y/n is entranced by the way his tip's color has darkened and it's literally pulsating.
Ken's hips have also started trembling, indicating he's super close. Y/n decides to use her tongue on him for a little longer, satisfied when she notices his white knuckles and protruding veins as he's gripping the pillows around him for dear life.
But when she feels him about to explode, she takes him in her hand, giving him a few pumps. Ken is soon whimpering and squirming under her touch, calling her name over and over like a prayer. He comes hard all over y/n's hand and his stomach.
When sure that he's emptied, y/n kisses his knee, then the insides of his thighs, all the way up to his neck and lips. Ken accepts the kiss, melting into y/n's warmth like always. He's still panting when he gives her the heartiest embrace, inhaling the sweet smell of her hair and whispering"I love you" so quietly y/n barely hears it.
~~
After y/n takes the time to explain to Ken some basic human biology stuff, she brings a wet towel from the bathroom, cleaning the mess they made on his stomach and thighs. Ken is looking at her with a newfound adoration and he's thanking her for making him feel so good 'till they fall asleep at her bed, together, cuddled up.
~~
notes~~
So, this was part 2 of my Ken fic! Definitely more spicy than the first one. It's not meant to be perfect, but I'm trying to make it somehow cohesive. Also, I did think this was going to turn out just a straightforward smut, but I'm ending up adding some emotion to it too.
Dividers by; @cafekitsune
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Tags; @notleclerc @hope4rain19
#pink#barbie#barbie movie#ryan gosling#margot robbie#ryan gosling ken#ken x you#ken x reader#ken doll#ken x y/n#smut#smutty#fanfiction#fanfic#oc#female reader#ken x reader smut#praise k!nk#size k!nk#tension#one shot#18+ content#angst#jealousy#billie eilish#y/n#x y/n#boytoy#ryan gosling x reader#ken barbie
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Your intimidating manager secretly has a thing for you~
Suguru x F!reader
Warning: 18+, jealousy, coworker interest~
I do not own any of the characters or the art I find to include (unless if I explicitly state otherwise)
These are solely MY headcanons, if you don't like them, it's okay, you don't have to read, just mind your business, m'kay?
If you happen to know that the art is yours and want credit, or for it to be removed, please, say something. I will fully respect your wishes.
He was the one to interview you for the job. It absolutely enthralled you that he asked "what's wrong with you to make you want to work here?" as one of the interview questions. (You had to bite your tongue not to say, 'what isn't wrong with me?')
Every other day that you two work together, as soon as he's clocked in, he ignores everyone else and is immediately talking to you about another anime/manga he found (which you immediately start consuming as soon as you have the chance to because they're all good)
You've grown to look forward to shifts with him, always feeling like something is missing if he's not there (he would never outright admit it, but he feels the same exact way)
Working after close has become your favorite part of the job when it's with him, getting the stock ready for the next day while he speaks about his latest interest as you quietly listen (buzzing because he's telling you about his life, but keeps it on lock for anyone else- he's not even sure when it started to happen or why, he doesn't talk about anything personal, especially not at work)
One day while putting out stock for the next morning, Suguru was opening the next morning and knew that he would be putting the stuff out, so he made a fort out of the boxes and dubbed it "'Fort Suguru'!" with the brightest smile (it's the first time you remember your heart racing because of him- it was the only time you had ever seen him smile like that and you thought it was beyond precious)
After the store is locked up, your current boyfriend would always take forever to show up to bring you home, but Suguru would wait with you every time without fail- even when the minutes turned into an hour more than once (and he would always stare daggers at your boyfriend- he would always ask on the way home, "Why does he always have to sit and wait with you?", to which you respond, "I think it's policy or something about safety."; you could never actually say that if he wasn't late every time then Suguru wouldn't have to wait with you because you secretly didn't want the alone time to stop)
After months of watching your boyfriend treat you like actual garbage, he breaks up with you while you're at work and takes the car you shared, abandoning you even after your shift is over; you're sick to your stomach in the bathroom for hours, sobbing (every time Suguru comes back to check on you his hand hovers at the door for way too long. Hearing your choked on sobs over such a horrible man hurts him somewhere he didn't believe could be hurt again- he had locked that door a long time ago, why does this hurt? He never ends up knocking, choosing to give you space- he wouldn't even know what to say anyways...)
When you still don't get the car back, Suguru begs the closing worker not to say anything to any of the other managers after he makes the decision to drive you home after they lock the store- (it could get both of you in trouble, but he isn't sure what else to do)
The only problem with the previous is that it seems like the moment you get into his car, you pass out from what he can only assume is exhaustion- which means that he doesn't have the slightest clue where to drive you (Is it really so bad that he drives you to his place? He has a spare room...)
He doesn't have the heart to wake you so he chooses the stupidly selfish option- putting both of your jobs on the line in the process (can you really blame him after listening to you sob all day?)
He tries to miss all of the potholes on the way home- petrified to his core that you'll wake up- (What if you freak out? What if you think he's planning on taking advantage of you? He would absolutely perish if you thought badly of him)
When you both get to his place unharmed he tries to be as gentle as possible, taking you from his front seat bridal style, carrying you up the flight of stairs to his apartment (hoping none of his neighbors get the wrong idea by carrying an unconscious girl back to his place after always strictly staying alone)
He struggles to open the door with you in his arms, which makes you mumble something incoherent, but not wake up- he rushes into the door and straight to his spare room, moving the sheets the best he can to lay you down; he tucks you in carefully and lets his eyes linger on your sleeping state for a little too long, then leaving you to get much needed rest (he lets out a 'Tsk' at his slight annoyance that it took you two this long to break up, and even bigger annoyance that it was you that ended up being more hurt by it- but he couldn't fully blame you for having too big of a heart, even if it was someone that didn't deserve it; deep down he wanted violence)
(This is the end of Part 1, there is absolutely going to be more than one part due to apparent character limit)
#my hc#hc#headcanon#head canon#jujutsu kaisen#not canon#non canon#noncanon#suguru#suguru geto#geto#geto suguru#imagine#imagines#pretty boys are intimidating#and geto is so fucking pretty#is it wrong to admit this is inspired by a coworker I used to have?#but there was no way that was realistically happening#but fuck was he pretty#~
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Appreciation. {Dave York x F! Nanny.}
Summary: You decide to take matters in to your own hands, and show the exhausted man of the house just how much you appreciate everything he does.
Warnings: Arguing between spouses, Infidelity, Oral sex (M receving) and a brief mention of female masturbation. Please don’t read if cheating triggers you or if it’s not your kind of thing!
Word count: 1.6k.
Chapter: 1 of?
Part of an ongoing series of mini-shots!
A/N: thank you to @djarinispunkk for beta-reading. And thank you to my incredible pals who encourage my filthy thoughts - I hope you enjoy.
You heard them from the moment the car door swung open; he was shushing her whilst she was halfway through an expletive-filled rant, each and every one of her words dripping with venom and disdain. He’d taken her to a restaurant, no doubt footed the bill for not only them, but the couple she had arranged for them to meet up with, but as usual, it was never enough.
The gorgeous house they lived in, the brand new Mercedes she drove, without ever having to worry about how much it would cost to fill the tank, and the designer clothes she drenched herself in just to visit the grocery store; it was just never enough.
You hastily attempted to start packing away the highlighters and pens littering the table you were sitting at, but it was too late; she came bursting through the door ranting about some vacation the woman they went to dinner with was bragging about and how unfair it was that her vacations revolved around the sweet girls you had been hired to babysit.
It wasn’t true of course. Dave had paid for a 5 day trip to Disney World, and she’d spent the ENTIRE trip on a sun lounger whilst you and Dave took the girls into the parks. You’d even spent a day with just the girls in Animal Kingdom so they could have some time alone together, but once you’d got back to the hotel, Dave was on his own in the suite, looking more stressed than ever, and she was taking whatever argument they had out on his credit card.
“I just don’t understand why letting the girls stay here for a few weeks with my mom and the nanny would be so bad, David. Loretta told me that the hotel had a spa and a shopping outlet and the hotel has a strict no kids allowed policy. Hell, it may even encourage you to get back to the gym if we have something to look forward to.”
You sunk down awkwardly into your chair, not knowing if they were aware of your presence in the room as Dave attempted to reason with her, explaining that the weeks he spends away from his kids for work are hell and he doesn’t understand why she doesn’t realize that he doesn’t want to miss a second from them when he doesn’t need to. But instead of any indication that she cared, all he got back in response was some cruel jabs and a harsh scoff before she grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass from the cabinet before hurrying up the stairs and slamming the door.
The gasp you unintentionally let slip through your lips had Dave whipping his head around towards your direction and exhaling. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair as you both waited in anticipation to see if the girls had been woken by her lack of decorum.
Thankfully not.
*
You both said nothing; you went back to finishing the logo you’d been working on for your graphic designs class, and he switched on a random movie, sitting rigidly on the couch as the stress continued to gather on his face.
His face. Fuck. He was attractive. You’d been taken aback the first time you’d met him; he sat awkwardly next to Carol as she interviewed you for the live-in Nanny position they’d be advertising. He barely spoke a word but you felt those dark eyes burrowing under your skin as he kept an eye on you throughout. It was like he was searching beyond the answers you were giving him, and he studied you with such an intensity it made you shiver.
You’d not been able to think of anything but the way he looked at you since, imagining the way he’d watch you as he sunk his cock in and out of your dripping wet cunt, imagining the way he’d make you lock eyes with him as he choked you with his cock. Fuck. You wanted to take care of him. Fuck, you NEEDED to take care of him.
You watched him for a few more minutes, the way his eyes were pointed towards the television but clearly not focusing on the scenes that played out in front of them. You found yourself clenching your thighs together as the urge to make him feel good grew stronger and stronger until you couldn’t take it anymore. You closed down the programs on your laptop and switched off the machine before closing the top down.
*
You stood on shaky legs, and he turned his head to see what you were doing; your eyes locked with his as you pulled the hair tie off your wrist and scraped your hair back into a ponytail. His eyes moved down to the dip in your sundress that accentuated your perky breasts, his tongue slipping between his lips to wet the bottom one.
Without a word, you walked around to the front of the couch, standing in front of him for a few brief moments before sinking to your knees. You looked up at up him searching for a signal that said go ahead, and with a brief roll of his hips and his hand coming down to palm himself through his pants, you got it.
You gently removed his hand and replaced it with yours, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as your hands started to explore. The heel of your palm gently pressed down on his clothed cock before your fingers wrapped around the girth of him. Fuck. He was big. Bigger than anything you’d ever seen or taken before, and the thoughts flashing through your mind had you clenching around nothing as his eyes met yours just as a soft moan slipped through your lips.
Without a second’s hesitation, your hands moved up to his belt and you hastily started to remove it. Dave lifted his hips up just enough for you to start pulling his pants down, and tenting in his boxers was enough to make you gasp, your eyes flickering to the small wet patch where the head of his rock hard cock was concealed.
You couldn’t help yourself, the overwhelming urge to tease him had grown stronger and you dipped your head down and let your tongue slowly drag against the damp spot, tasting the dribbles of pre-cum that had seeped through his boxers. The snarl that he breathed out was filthy; a wordless warning that screamed for you to stop teasing him and to finish what you had initiated.
You slowly dipped your fingers into the waistband of his boxers and peeled them down, watching as his cock sprung free and hung heavily between his legs.
You gripped the bottom of his cock with one hand, before shimmying forward and licking softly at the tip, letting your tongue dip into the opening and gathering the pre-cum on on the tip of your tongue, your other hand digging into the meat of his thigh.
Inch by inch, you started to take him into your mouth, the stretch almost too much but somehow not enough. The weight of him on your tongue, paired with the way he was staring at you made you want to slip your fingers into your panties and play with your painfully neglected clit, but you didn’t. This was all about him, and showing him how appreciated he really is. So instead, you focused on taking him deeper and hollowing your cheeks before bobbing up and down, taking extra care in swallowing around him and breathing out of your nose, as not to make too much noise.
You could feel him throb with pleasure, and you moaned around him when you felt him thread his fingers in your hair, slowly dragging them across the bow you’d been wearing all day, before his fingers gripped your ponytail.
Dave gently started pulling on your hair as he began rolling his hips, fucking his cock up into your mouth and rewarding you every so often with a groan or pleasured grunt.
You felt as his movements became less precise, more sloppy, and how his dick started throbbing more and more. You slowly lifted off of him, a string of spit and pre-cum keeping your lips connected to his cock as you silently mouthed the word, ‘Where?’
Your answer came in the form of a wordless reply involving him furiously pumping his own fist up and down his length before spilling his load across your face, your lips parting to catch drops of his milky pleasure; so you could taste him properly. You kept your eyes as wide open as you possibly could, watching as he emptied himself of every last drop.
You stayed there for a few minutes, keeping as silent and as still as you possibly could before you moved your fingertips across your face, gathering up and dragging every last drop to your mouth and relishing the way his face seemed to relax more and more as you ate his cum off your sweet little face.
Once you were all finished and satisfied that you’d gathered up every last bit, you gently tucked him back inside his boxers before pulling yourself up off the ground and lowering your mouth to his ear.
“Thank you for always taking such good care of us all, Mr. York. I hope I returned the favour.”
You flashed him your sweetest smile, before bouncing up the stairs towards your room and shutting the door behind yourself.
You didn’t see it, he wouldn’t have let you see it, but for the first time in what had felt like weeks a genuine smile spread across Dave York’s face, and he had a feeling his home life was about to get quite a lot more interesting.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#dave york#david york#the equalizer 2#equalizer 2#dave york fanfic#dave york fic#dave york smut#dave york x female reader#dave york x reader#dave york x f!reader#dave york x you#dave york x ofc#my fanfic#my fics#i can't remember the tag for my fanfiction tag so hence why i use so many i am sorr#my fanfiction
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The Club of the Unseen and Obscene, Part 1
Welcome, obscene one. This meant to be filth, so read at your own discretion.
This title is part of a series I'm doing where Altaira will be paired with various demons. The introduction will be the same, but her new partner will change. I won't put who it is here, but if you want to be sure it's a character you want to read, it'll be in the tags below. Maybe see if you can guess who it is based on the beginning!
Pairing: ? x oc! Altaira
Written in third person POV
CW: Altaira is afab and uses she/her pronouns. Smut scene: piv sex, fingering, unprotected sex. Orgy. Voyeuristic and exhibitionist sex. Multiple creampie. Breeding kink (no pregnancy)
Themes: Sex club. Voyeurism. Exhibitionism.
Minors and ageless blogs DNI
18+ only
Enjoy
Masterlist
Part 2
"Hmm," Altaira murmured, examining a matte black envelope in her hands. It was addressed to her at the House of Lamentation, so she took it with her to her bedroom. Flipping it over, it said, "From The Unseen and Obscene."
Curious and slightly concerned, she used her nail to slide under the lip of the envelope near the top edge and slid it across to slice it open. She then fished out a black holographic card with black sparkling lace details along the edges. It was blank until she took a good look at the card as words began to appear.
"It has come to our attention that you are of beautiful prestige and exotic in your humanness. We here at the Club of the Unseen and Obscene wish to invite you to our wonderland of renowned pleasure. We eagerly await your response. Come at your earliest convenience on the night of the next full moon for your acceptance."
An address then appeared across the bottom of the card, and quickly, she took a picture. Rightfully so, because the words began to disappear again. She flipped it over and just saw the words in a beautiful script, "Seeing is obscene, noble one."
Altaira walked over to her dresser and slid the card under her folded undergarments. She walked back over to her bedside to sit and do a web search for the club the card mentioned. After some reading, she found that the address was listed under a business in creating spots for online dates to meet up.
Immediately, she switched over to texting Asmodeus.
Altaira: Asmo.
Asmo: Yes, kitten?
Altaira: Club of the Unseen and Obscene, have you heard of it?
Asmo: ...
Within eight seconds, there was a knock on her door, and before she could answer, Asmo walked in and locked it behind him. He had a serious look on his face.
"Show me," Asmo demanded, his hand held out. She found the photo in her phone and showed it to the demon. He looked it over, and his eyes widened.
"What?"
"This... Well, it's a prestigious honor, to be sure. But, uh... I don't think it's your speed, honey," Asmo admitted.
"What is it?"
"It's hard to explain because every experience is different. A group of lust demons own the club, and every set of guests has an entirely different experience. How it works is that they send out invites to those they deem "worthy" of attending their "parties." Those who receive certain invites for a particular week will experience something no other group gets to see," Asmo replied, handing her phone back.
"Have you been?" She asked quietly.
"I have, just once. That's all anyone is allotted is a one-time entry," Asmo answered, sitting on the edge of her bed. She joined him as well.
"What was your experience like?" She pressed.
"That's another thing; we're not allowed to talk about it. What happens in the club stays in the club," he answered vaguely.
"Should I go?" Altaira then looked down at her feet, feeling confused and unsure of herself.
"There's no harm in going– well, I take that back. You are human, so there's always harm here. But I will take you there and ensure they won't do anything to you," Asmo offered. "And you can always back out at any time. They have a strict consent policy, and that consent may be withdrawn at any point in the experience."
She then nodded and looked askance, feeling nervous.
"Okay. I'll go."
Asmodeus stopped as he felt his human companion come to a halt in front of the club, a two-story matte black building with a pitched roof, gothic opaque windows, and steeples along some of the tall points of the roof. He looked at her and found her staring up at the pink neon sign above them.
"Still okay, kitten?" He asked.
"Y-yeah..." she mumbled. Asmo wrapped his arm over her shoulders and squeezed.
"I'm here," he reminded her. She swallowed and nodded. Together, they walked inside the building.
Inside was dark with magenta uplights filling the room along the walls. The floors were a checkered tile, and everything was dimly lit to the human. It was a small front area with only a desk just ahead. A lust demon was reading a magazine as the two approached.
"Invite?" They asked without looking up.
"Yes," Altaira murmured, sliding it across the desk. The demon finally sat up and put their reading material aside. Looking at the invite, their lips curled into a smile.
"Ah, you're that one. Welcome. Asmo, you may wait out here or outside. Follow me, noble one," the demon purred, stepping away and gesturing toward a door that wasn't there before across from the desk. The human looked back at Asmo once more.
"Have fun," Asmo mouthed to her. She nodded and followed the other demon past the door while the Avatar stayed behind.
Altaira got a good look at the lust demon she followed. Their lower half was that of a goat, looking much like a satyr. Their hooves curled into talons, and their tail was a long, thin member with a spade at the end as it thrashed about behind them. Their horns curled behind their head, and then the very ends curled straight up into the air.
"Keep staring, and I'll have to keep you for myself, noble one," the demon purred as they walked across a long darkened hallway with yellow uplights along the bottom trim.
Altaira's eyes snapped back at her shoes as they walked. Finally, they stopped at another door just ahead of the demon, who then turned and stepped back.
"I believe your other half is already here. Have fun, and welcome to the Club of the Unseen and Obscene, noble one," the demon announced with a bow.
"Who is it? There's more? Or just one?" She asked timidly. "And what are we doing? I'd like some explanation first."
"I cannot give away such secrets, little noble. Just know we have curated an experience that you've dreamt of, and you will lack nothing when you're inside," the demon replied. "And that of who is already is inside has the same desires, and therefore you are part of their experience as well, just as they are yours."
Suddenly, the demon turned away and walked off down the hallway, eventually disappearing in the darkness.
Altaira stared at the doorknob for a few seconds before grabbing it and turning it, keeping her eyes on the floor. She walked in and closed the door, keeping her back to the rest of the room as she laid her head against the door, unsure of whatever was about to happen.
"You did what?!" Lucifer barked at Asmodeus in front of the club. "She's not ready for something like this! She could be injured or killed depending on who's in there with her!"
"I know who it is," Asmodeus replied coolly. "And she'll be fine."
The fifth born had "bribed" the front desk attendant after they returned from dropping the human off at her room.
"You don't know that. Anyone in this damned place is capable of hurting her," Lucifer hissed, getting in Asmo's face.
"The one that's in there is one who I very well doubt is capable, or would be willing to tarnish their reputation for doing so," Asmo answered in a soft but stern tone.
"If this goes awry, this will not just be on your shoulders, but mine as well, and likely our brothers, too. I hope you are aware of that," Lucifer snapped, walking back to his car to sit and wait.
Altaira finally was brave enough to look over her shoulder, only to find a dimly lit but large room ahead of her. The lowlights were a soft white, creating a peaceful atmosphere. In the center was a large, white, round bed on a platform with steps with plenty of pillows and covers on it. The walls were darker as if to create a focal point on the bed.
Slowly, she started walking toward the bed, looking around for whoever else was supposed to be there. She walked up the steps and stood at the edge of the bed, drawing her fingers across the soft sheets.
"Welcome, noble ones. We are honored to have you join us. Tonight, we have curated an experience we think will be up to your... preferences. Your desires shall be made seen, and your kinks will be... obscene. Everything and anything you should need for the night will be located in the side tables or along the walls. Should there be any emergency or need to stop, simply hit the red button next to the door. And, good night, you two."
The voice sounded unfamiliar, one that could've been anyone, easily disguised and quite vague in tone and accent. There was a legato in their tone, like a singing voice to lure one to sleep.
"Altaira."
She blinked a few times before registering the voice. That one was familiar, one that made her heart skip, stomach flip, and words slip.
"...Diavolo."
The human finally turned and saw the demon prince at the bottom of the steps leading to the platform. In the dim, soft light, she could see he still had his uniform on, hands to his sides.
"You came," she looked away shamefully, her hands coming together in front of herself to fiddle nervously.
"So did you," he replied neutrally. They were thinking the exact same thing:
Was he expecting someone else?
Was she expecting someone else?
The prince looked up and around before decidedly heading up the steps toward her. "I must admit, I had doubts about coming. I've never been invited before," he explained. She said nothing, and as he came closer, he could easily read how uncertain she looked, and likely, felt.
"I see..." is all she replied.
"You can leave. I won't blame you if you don't want to do this," Diavolo murmured, halfway up the steps but now eye-level with the human who refused to meet his gaze.
"And what will you do if I leave?" She asked, folding her arms but still not looking at him.
"I'll leave as well."
"And if I stay?"
"Then I'll stay, too."
Altaira finally looked up and saw his golden orbs glittering in the soft light, as he was finally close enough for her to see him in some detail.
"Let's sit for a little bit," the prince offered, gesturing toward the bed. Altaira nodded and scooted back to sit on the edge of the mattress. The demon joined her, sitting close to her but not too close.
"So..."
"Yes?" He asked.
"What is this place? I'm still confused as to why I was called here..." she trailed off.
"I'm still not sure myself, honestly. I don't own this business, but it's been here for quite a long time," he answered. "This was here before the brothers fell."
"Ah..." she replied, shifting around uncomfortably.
Music began to play, a soft, sexy, jazzy sound that could make one instantly feel relaxed. Diavolo glanced over at her and followed her gaze to her twiddling fingers.
"The trouble is," she finally began to say, catching the prince's attention, "I want to stay."
"Because...?"
"Because it's you," she replied.
"Me?"
"We don't get to spend too much time together," she clarified. "This could be a good opportunity to spend some time together and get closer."
He pondered for only a moment before giving a soft grin in return. "I can't help but agree."
The lights around the room went off, and the pair were left in the darkness, a spell to create a dark blanket across the space to where the prince couldn't even see. Immediately, her hand reached for his in panic, and he gave it to her.
"I'm here," Diavolo murmured to her.
She squeezed his hand and held it tightly. He almost wondered if she'd he able to feel his pulse hammering away in his wrist.
"I have a question," she said into the darkness.
"Yes?"
"The demon that brought me back here said something. They said, "That of who is already is inside has the same desires," before leaving me in here..." she trailed off for a few moments.
"Do you desire me?" She asked timidly.
"Does that mean you desire me as well?" The prince asked calmly.
They were both quiet then, their silence all too telling of their answers.
"You know of this place more than I do. So tell me, who did you expect to be in here?" She asked a bit more firmly.
"There was only one person I wanted to see here. If they weren't here, I would've left by now," he answered in the same manner.
She was quiet again.
"And you?" He asked.
"The same," she replied, nothing but truth lacing her voice.
Her free hand began to wander, searching for him blindly before landing on his thigh. Slowly, she turned and faced him, sitting sideways on the bed with one leg tucked beneath herself. Using his hand to rest on her forearm, he turned as well as she felt the mattress dip down, mirroring her pose.
"Tell me," she murmured, holding his hand still and using her other place light touches across his torso to imagine how he was sitting. "What is it you want with me then? If we are so interested in one another, this may be our only chance to act on it in privacy."
"You could be right..." he agreed before trailing off that time, thinking of his next choice of words. "I suppose I would like to show you how I feel about you, Altaira."
"Then I will also show you, Diavolo," she nearly purred back.
Their joined hands broke apart and began to run up and down each other's arms and thighs. Eventually, his hands cupped her face and held her there, so she placed hers upon his wrists.
"May I kiss you?"
"You may."
He leaned down and towards her while gently thumbing over her cheeks. His lips found hers quite suddenly, making them both jump in slight surprise. She started to pull herself forward towards him, and in one swift movement, his hands dove for her waist and swept her up onto his lap. Her hands ran through his rusted locks, fingers curling and gently tugging, which caused him to grunt happily.
The Demon Lord broke the kiss first, sensing her twitching against him from a lack of oxygen. He felt her ragged sweet breaths fanning against his cheek.
"Shall we get comfortable?" He asked softly, his fingers dancing across her forehead.
"Yes, I'd like to," she mumbled.
Lowlights came on again, and across from one side of the bed were two sets of robes, two distinctly different sizes.
"Go on, I'll let you go first," he said to her. She nodded and left his lap to go over.
When she looked back, he had his back turned to her out of respect. Quickly, she undressed to her undergarments and donned the charcoal silk robe with black lace trim that stopped just above her knee. She walked back to the bed, and as she walked up the steps, Diavolo finally turned to look at her. His gaze softened, clearly, and he gave her his hand.
"Beautiful," he murmured. She took it and sat beside him.
"Your turn."
The prince left, and she gave him the same privacy he had given her. When he returned, he was in an all-black robe with gold trim that hit his knee and a gold sash. Both climbed up the bed to sit in the middle, shoulder-to-shoulder.
"Better?" He asked softly.
"I think so," she replied. He nodded in agreement as well.
"Shall we... pick up where we left off?" He asked even softer.
She nodded that time and slowly sat up to her knees, to which he guided her onto his lap, straddling his thighs with her knees on either side of his hips. The lights in the room lowered again, and the two were washed in a sea of darkness once more.
Leaning forward, her lips eventually brushed the hollow of his cheek while the scent of her hair filled his senses when her locks fell forward to gently rest on his face. He kissed her jaw and chin in return with his hands finding purchase high upon her waist. Their lips finally found each other again, and this time, she deepened it with her tongue, asking for permission to enter by swiping across his lips. He granted it and met her tongue with his, eager to taste her. Her hands curled into his hair again. Their tastes intermingled and tongues intertwined for the first time, and they naturally melted into one another.
After a while of making out, he trailed lower, kissing her jaw again and continuing to the soft flesh of her neck. She briefly opened her eyes and froze, her grip tightening as she looked around. A strangled whimper rose in her throat, and immediately Diavolo pulled away to check on her. What she was looking around at also got his attention as he looked out:
Around them, along the walls, were friends and subjects from the Devildom, watching the pair tangled up together. The brothers, friends from RAD, even the Devildom's nobility all stood around the room.
"It's an illusion," he murmured in their ear. "They're actually not here."
Her brows furrowed in confusion, and then she cupped the prince's cheek. "Why? Why are they here?"
"I suppose I wish to show everyone how I feel about you. To let everyone know that you're mine and mine alone," he admitted in a deeper pitch.
Her body felt aflame at the notion that the Demon Lord wished to show her off, to show everyone else that she was his. It was a lot to take in, but not unwelcome.
"Then show them," she replied seductively, turning her face toward his again while keeping an eye on their "visitors."
"The things I've thought about doing to you are nary even a bit appropriate. Such thoughts would be reserved for a partner of the night, but with you, I can't help but be filled to the brim with ideations of having you a million different ways," he confessed, his hands now on her shoulder blades over her robe.
"And why do you think there's a bed here? One that seemingly now looks like a larger version of yours?" She asked with a coy swing in her tone. Diavolo had side-eyed the mattress they laid upon and noticed earlier that it had indeed changed its form to look like his in the castle. "I want you, Diavolo," she finally added.
His heart nearly stopped then. Such words were only ones he had heard in his fantasies, ones where he was stroking himself late at night while plagued with thoughts of her, or when he was daydreaming during a particularly boring meeting with the aristocracy.
"And I want you, in the million and one different ways I've dreamt of, and however many more we can come up with, Altaira," he purred to her. She nodded in agreement, and he held her tighter.
"Let's start with one of them then," she murmured with a smile. He smiled back and kissed her excitedly. The prince could hardly contain himself, after waiting for so long to have her.
"Before we do, I just want to make sure you know that at any time, we can stop. You don't have to tell me why, just that you can't continue," he stated a bit less lustfully and more clearly. "I never want to force you when we're intimate. Let it be your will as much as it is mine when we're together like this." She murmured her agreement against his lips.
Her hand reached for his sash but stopped short, twirling the silk in her hand.
"Would you like to disrobe me?" He asked softly.
"If that's okay."
He hummed his agreement, and she pulled the silk tab, causing the garment to become loose and open in the front.
"C-Can... Can I t-touch you?" She stuttered, feeling shy again.
"I want you to," he answered sweetly. Her hands slowly pushed forward, a doll still in the darkness, until she reached his bare chest, and the robe naturally fell away as her hands brushed it around while feeling his skin. His skin prickled as her delicate hands ran over him. He could have let a moan escape then, too, but he wanted to be just a touch restrained. "May I as well?" He asked after a few moments.
"I've dreamt about you touching me," she mumbled. "Go ahead."
His hands gently pulled the sashes of her robe, causing it to fall away as well. He desperately wished he could see then, but there was something about being in the dark with her that kept him intrigued, too. His hands landed on her breasts first, by sheer coincidence, over her lace bralette. Her fiery arousal and sweet natural scent had him completely encased in her, and he only wanted more.
"I–" she started to say but stopped herself short, feeling embarrassed.
"Don't hold back, darling. Tell me what you need," he commanded of her in a soft tone.
"I'm... ready," she replied quietly.
"For?" He asked for clarification, but somewhat had an idea.
"For you. For... us to..." She then swallowed thickly, finding her bravery and words. "I want to make love with you."
He kissed her next then, smiling like a fool and squeezing her waist in his hands in excitement.
"I've wanted you to say that for so long," he groaned, feeling the heat of his own desire start to build.
"Then let's not wait any longer," she murmured. He, of course, agreed.
Both shuffled the other's robe down around their waists, and he helped rid her of her undergarments, only to return to their original pose of her settled on his lap as he sat upright on the bed. He kissed her shoulder, leaving dark marks that would soon be evidence of the night they would share. The music in the room changed, something darker and more sexy with a pop music flair.
She grabbed his chin and pulled him back towards her face to kiss him on the lips. "You'll have plenty of time to mark me," she murmured, "But right now, I need you here. I'm... I feel like I might implode."
"Desperate for me, are you?" He teased in his deepest register against her lips.
"You have no idea," she mumbled, kissing his cheek and jaw.
"I think I might," he replied while grabbing her hips. He shifted slightly, and she could feel his bare erection rubbing against her upper thigh. Her excitement only increased exponentially.
"You might," she chuckled in agreement. He smiled again and kissed her lips, his own hands curling into her blonde locks and tugging gently. She moaned outright into his mouth and grabbed onto his forearms. The lowlights around the bottom of the platform barely came on, giving the two dim light to finally see each other. He pulled away and looked her over, his hand coming up to run down her torso.
"I didn't need the light to know you're beautiful... but you're even more ravishing than I thought," he informed her, his gaze lustful.
She looked him over, too, and was unsurprised by how sculpted he appeared to be, but more than anything, being able to see him like this only served to arouse her further. He then shifted her back slightly, his hand trailing down further until he brushed her mound.
"Go ahead," she nearly pleaded.
With her permission, he slid two fingers down to touch her lower lips, finding she was absolutely drenched even outside of her folds. He groaned and sank further, rubbing her folds slowly. His free arm encircled her waist to keep her close as he began kissing her collarbone and curling around her to kiss her breasts. He took the time to suck on each nipple, causing her to roll her hips and gain more stimulation from his fingers. His hand moved lower, and he offered his middle finger as it rubbed against her entrance. She shifted forward to sink down on it, an easy glide into her cunt.
"Ahh... ha, oh, Dia," she moaned when his palm ground itself against her clit.
He groaned again at the sound of those words alone, even if they didn't carry much substance. Her pleasure was everything to him, so when she froze again, he immediately pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were wide open as she stared ahead at the walls. When he looked around, he realized why she had such a tight grip on his shoulders, pulling herself flush against his body and remaining still.
Around them was what could only be described as an orgy of demons fucking along the walls. Some were in their naked demon forms, others not, a variety of groups and partners scattered around in different positions. Her pulse jumped, and her breath rate quickened, to his surprise, and he realized this wasn't just his own fantasy.
"What do you think, darling? Do you want to do this in front of all these people?" He whispered in her ear.
But it then occurred to him as she didn't answer but continued to keep a tight grip on him that she might have liked to watch, too. With his digit still buried in her pussy, he began to pump it in and out, twisting his wrist as he did. She moaned and finally looked back to the prince, gaze full of lust, desire, need, and much deeper emotions, too.
His free hand came up to her chin and lifted her face again. "Keep watching and let me take care of you," he ordered. Her eyes flitted back up, and her breathing became shallow and ragged. He continued fingering her pussy, quickly adding a second and third digit as she opened up for him.
"That's it, baby," he grunted, kissing her breasts again and leaving more hickies in the wake of his lips.
"I need your cock inside me, Diavolo," she rasped, a sweat sheen building on her upper body and back. He nearly lost his rhythm at that, but it was a welcome thing to hear from her lips, something he so longed for.
"As you wish, my little darling," he purred. She finally looked back at him as he situated her more on his lap to sit up above his cock, his large hands gripping her waist. He slowly lowered her down, the head breaching through and gliding through her folds. Her little whines were more music to his ears than the music playing in the room. Finding her entrance and easing on in, he allowed gravity to bring her down the length of his cock, filling her up nicely.
"Ah!" She cried out when his cock rubbed her sweet spots inside. Her focus was solely held on the demon before her, impaling her on his cock. Though she didn't see the size, she knew he was massive as she felt the burn the deeper he went. She was nearly panting and had tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Nothing had felt this good in all her years, and if only she knew how similarly he felt in that moment. His fist wrapped around his cock while he imagined this moment did no justice to the actual thing. No one, human or demon, set him on fire the way she did. She ignited something deeper, more primal, darker, within him.
When he was fully sheathed within her, or, at least, when the head of his cock was shoved up against her cervix with nowhere else to go, they both sighed in content.
"You're perfect," he groaned. "You've ruined me."
"You're all I've wanted for months now," she murmured in reply. "No one else. I would lie awake at night, imagining this with you. Every. Single. Night."
"That makes two of us," he agreed softly. "Tell me when you're ready. I'm enjoying you just like this."
"That also makes two of us," she purred, using his words. Her gaze finally left his to look up at the scene still unfolding before them.
"Do you like watching or being watched?" He inquired curiously.
She blinked a few times before looking to him again. "Both."
"Hmm," he hummed, delighted by the response. He looked past her shoulder and took in the scene as well. Some of the illusion demons fucked one another, while some watched the prince and his human companion or the other illusions. Some even watched the pair while fucking each other.
"I'm ready," she finally stated.
His attention immediately focused back on her. He wrapped his arms high around her, along her bustline. She felt safe and comfortable in his arms like that. Her own arms then wrapped over his shoulders and around his neck, keeping their bodies as close as possible. She started rocking her hips back and forth, little gasps exchanged between the pair as they felt the first sparks of pleasure ignite their cores.
The prince used his own strength, not much of it, to guide her into a suitable rhythm for both of them, taking over to let her just enjoy the ride while he moved her. Both occasionally looked out and watched as the other demons fornicated and, or, watched them in return. But more than anything, the pair drank in each other as they made love, feeling joyous pleasure building between them as her slick dripped down his balls, and his precum leaked into her cunt and adding to the slippery slide in and out of her.
"Is this okay, love?" He murmured to her, looking at her face with an almost pleading look.
"This is perfect. You're amazing," she mumbled in reply, her eyes fluttering shut as she basked in the pleasure. Satisfied, he went back to placing more passioned kisses across her upper body, leaving nary an inch untouched by him. Keeping one arm wrapped around her, his other snuck back as he dipped his hand between their joined bodies to rub her clit with his fingertips.
Her eyes snapped open, and her jaw fell slack at the sensation. "Yes," she rasped. "That's it."
He hummed and continued his ministrations. Between kissing her body and rubbing her clit while gently now thrusting up into her, it was a symphony of bliss to both of them. She felt her knot begin to twist and burn as she stepped closer to a release.
"Diavolo," she grunted. "I'm gonna cum."
Understanding his cue, he kept up what he was doing for her to bring her closer to her orgasm. He wanted nothing more than to feel her tight walls further tighten down on him, to milk him for all that he had.
"Are you going to cum in front of all these demons? Show them who knows how to please you. Let them see I'm the only one who can do this to you," he growled back.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes..." she babbled, losing the battle of staying aware as more heat flushed her entire form.
"Mm, darling, you feel so good," he moaned. "I'm close too."
"Please," she whimpered. She leaned forward and rested her head against his shoulder and neck while panting. "Inside me."
Those two little words set him ablaze, thrusting up into her a bit harshly as he chased his pleasure. They were a bumping and grinding mess of one another, moans and groans filling the entire room. Up until this point, both would occasionally look up at the demons around them, but now, all they could see was each other. Their focus wholly centered on the other. When he looked at her, her face awash with orgasmic bliss, all he could imagine was making her his again and again, as much as she'd let him. And when she looked at him, his brows furrowed and a singular bead of sweat rolling down his temple, she fell that much deeper.
Moments later, both teetered off the edge of oblivion and down into the chasm of euphoria. His cock throbbed and pulsed deep within her cunt, shooting out rope after rope of his hot cum against her cervix. Her walls gripped him like a vice and milked every single drop out of his pulsing member. They held onto each other during the whole ordeal, cries and whimpers exchanged.
Altaira slumped against him as her body released itself from the tight confines of her orgasm. He held her as he moved around to lay down. Once settled, he cradled her against him as the lights shut off once more, but music continued to play.
Her hands began to search around until one found his face.
"What is it?" He asked, kissing her palm.
"Thank you," she mumbled.
His cheeks burned. He wasn't expecting her to thank him, especially when he felt like he should be thanking her for the honor of such pleasure.
"I should be thanking you," he murmured, kissing her palm again. "Thank you."
"Do you..." she started to ask but trailed off. She brought her hand back to herself, feeling shy.
"I think, my little darling, after what we just did, you have no reason to shy away from me. Tell me what you want," he informed her, caressing her side with the arm that was wrapped behind her back.
"I want to go again," she whispered.
Diavolo sent a silent thank you to whoever could hear him for giving him such a prize.
"Naughty little thing, aren't you? So greedy," he teased her. She buried her face in his chest. He chuckled and hummed while caressing as much of her that he could reach. She centered herself on top of him and found his lips again, kissing him sweetly.
Taking a firm hold of her, he swiftly rolled over to push her onto her back. Limbs became tangled up together as they found each other in the darkness. Soon enough, he was pushing his hard cock into her once more, filling her with more of him as the cum he had already spilled leaked out around him. It was easier for both of them that time around, her walls fitting snuggly around his cock and him having an idea of what she liked. He started with slow, deep thrusts and building up to pounding force, still at a slow pace. She was crying out everything she could feel and think of to him, much to his delight. Her voice was a siren song, luring him in so that he'd keep fucking her, to keep her singing.
Even with his own orgasms, he just kept pounding away at her abused cunt, but it only felt better and better with each release. He wouldn't stop until she asked him to. And with the way she was sprawled out against the bed, she wasn't interested in that happening anytime soon. He fucked her through his release, spilling his cum deep within her every time. They switched positions to take her from behind, her ass up in the air and head pressed against the mattress. The plush feel of her ass smacking into his pelvis was better than he imagined. He pulled her up to make her back flush with his torso, breathing ragged in her ear and fanning her neck as he grunted out his release.
"I don't think I can ever stop," he moaned, laying his cheek on her head as he kept thrusting into her. "I just want to breed you over and over, fill you with so much of me."
She moaned in reply, too fucked out to even speak at that point.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Want me to breed this cunt every single night? I'll make sure everyone in this damned place knows you're mine," he growled.
"Yours," she moaned, barely intelligible.
"Cum for me," he ordered, snapping his hips then. His hands latched onto her tits and groped them obscenely, twisting her nipples to add to her pleasure.
And she did. With wailing cries, she came again and again on his cock, and he followed soon after almost as many times. He then had her on her back again, pushing her legs up onto his shoulders and folding her in a mating press. There was no time wasted as he began pounding her again, reaching the deepest parts of her pussy.
"I'll fuck you like this every single day, night, dawn, dusk, whenever you want it. I want you stuffed with my cock and filled with my cum. I want you dripping every time you leave me. I'll give you my heirs if that's what it takes, my love. Whatever you want, it's yours. All I have is yours," he murmured to her.
Without inhibitions, the fear of being found, or the fear of rejection, the pair fucked long into the night. They took breaks when necessary, mostly for Altaira's benefit, and picked up right where they left off. Truly, this place had helped uncover a part of each of them, long tucked away but now fully bloomed. Their chemistry was undeniable, and now that especially the prince had a taste of her, he was never going to let her go, nor would she let him.
Morning arrived all too soon. The pair awoke and got dressed for the day. Before they left, there were two cards on the side tables, one for each. Both essentially thanked them for coming to their establishment and that they hoped all of their fantasies came true.
Lucifer groaned as he sat up in the driver's seat. He had fallen asleep waiting for Altaira, and just in time, he looked up to see her step out of the building. But what he didn't expect was to see Diavolo trailing behind her. Furthermore, once they were out, they joined hands and walked over to a black limousine that had pulled up.
If there was one thing the eldest could take for solace, it was that at least she wasn't hurt. But it didn't make the sting lessen.
---
Thanks for reading! <3
Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.
Tags: @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil
#obey me#obey me shall we date#sassywrites#sassystories#obey me fanfic#obey me smut#obey me shall we date smut#oc! altaira#mc! altaira#diavolo x altaira#diavolo x femoc#diavolo smut#sassy's 500 follower event 👑#sassy's celebration week
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new light: stuck in your throat — rafe cameron
new light series masterlist
summary: rafe wonders if it’s okay that he doesn’t want anyone touching you like he does.
warnings: drinks and swearing as per use
a/n: this is set in between parts 2 and 3, sorry for the inconsistencies if there are any! just thought this would be fun :)
“Rafe. You gotta quit torturing yourself, bro.”
Rafe thought he knew what torture was. At least when it came to you.
Once upon a time, Rafe would’ve done exactly what he was doing now, staring across this same kitchen, or maybe one just like it. Maybe it’d be in another McMansion on Figure Eight, virtually identical to this one.
In high school, Rafe still threw a good party at Tannyhill every once in a while. But on the whole, the kids that lived in the historical builds—the ones old enough to have their own names—didn’t get away with bacchanals like this. Cups all over the kitchen, some completely stuck to the surface. Doors to the yards haphazardly strewn open so humidity could just pour in in waves. Open door policies that attracted all kinds of riff-raff. Still a kook party, through and through, but you’d never see it in a house like Tannyhill.
Unless of course, said house was occupied by a son who cared little what his dad thought, or about the material objects he so upheld.
So back then, Rafe might have considered it torture to be stuck in a kitchen just like this one, tall enough to see over almost everyone in his vicinity. And definitely tall enough to see you across the way, resting against a counter top while Mateo talked with you.
And not just talked with you, but, like, really engaged with you. Like, leant in all close, making your eyes light up with every new thing he said, using your hands to speak emphatically. Caused you to nod along, and pause and really think about whatever he could be asking you.
But as it would turn out, torture wasn’t that. Torture was all of that, after Rafe had finally taken you on a date.
After he’d felt the soft skin of your knee under a high-top table at some gaudy bar, or at long last kissed your lips under the even gaudier lights. After he’d felt your hips through the silk of a lilac dress when he kissed you again outside of the bar, then walked you around town while he sobered up enough to drive you home again.
Rafe knew what you tasted like now, and he’d never be able to forget it—he’s beginning to tell the difference in your flavors of lip gloss, and thinks he already has a favorite. Rafe felt the eyes of everyone he ever grew up with on the two of you at the last party you went to, had fucking glowed under their stares and held your hand tighter, pulled you in closer. Rafe felt your weight in his lap underneath that tree at Dylan’s graduation party, along with the weight of your confessions. Rafe felt his chest crack open that night, in order for you to fit inside, where you’d always belonged.
And torture was the fact that Rafe had had room for nothing in his brain but you for hours, days, weeks now, and you’re talking to fucking Mateo.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he tells Kelce, finally dropping his eyes. He’d drink it off, the uncertainty—the rejection?—but then he remembers he’d been drinking water all night after the beer he had when he walked in two or three hours ago, because you’d mentioned wanting to cut out early with him and he wanted to be able to drive. That feels stupid to him now—you probably only meant it in passing, and might have even forgotten. He fully lost you to Mateo half an hour ago when he pulled you aside, and you hardly looked like you’d be wrapping up soon.
“Oh, they’re going to be insufferable this summer, aren’t they?” Margot says.
“For sure,” Topper agrees.
“Shut up,” Rafe says warmly, a fake smile on his face.
“Never,” Margot retorts, smiling in much the same way before tossing back the rest of whatever contents are in her cup. She passes the empty cup off to Kelce with a smile, a real one, who easily begins a pursuit toward the provisions. That’s interesting—Rafe wonders if that’s still going on.
“It’s not a big deal, Rafe,” Topper says. “It’s just Mateo. He’s a good guy. Aren’t you guys hanging out later anyway?”
Rafe ignores the question, embarrassed he even let that slip at this point. He tells himself it was logistical—Kelce said they should all drive together but Rafe knew he’d need his own car at some point if you did end up wanting to leave with him. And yeah, whatever, maybe he’d blushed like an idiot when he told them about it—again, for logistics—and his friends had winded him up over it for ten full minutes. Stupid, stupid, so god damn stupid.
“I know he’s a good guy,” Rafe says. Because he really is and always has been. They didn’t stay in close touch after high school, not like he had with Topper or Kelce, but they always manage to kick it over the summer.
It stings when he thinks about playing a round of pong with Mateo at his last party, just after leaving you inside. It was sort of your debut, and Mateo had picked up on enough to elbow him in the ribs over it. “You and Y/n, huh?” he’d asked.
“Then why do you look like a kicked puppy?” Margot says.
“‘Cause his girl’s preoccupied,” Kelce says, slipping a cup back into her hand. “Rafe hasn’t been the sole object of her affections for approximately twenty minutes, and he’s only on the second stage of grief.”
It’s actually been over half an hour at this point, but it’s not like Rafe’s counting, or sharing that with the group.
Topper says he has to find a bathroom and Margot gets caught up in a gaggle of girls that stumble on by a few seconds later. Left alone, Kelce immediately zones in. “Dude. You know you’re being dumb.”
“It’s not dumb, Kelce,” he mumbles. “It’s not anything. We’re not anything.”
“You’re something,” Kelce answers.
There’d been one date, a perhaps ill-advised high school graduation make-out, a couple of coffee drives, a party, Dylan’s grad party—well no, that’s not nothing to Rafe. He’d been calling you ‘baby’ in your parents’ backyard two nights ago, for fucks’ sake.
“Okay, we’re something,” Rafe admits, and just the act sends sparks down his spine. Because you two were something, the best something he’d ever had. “But I haven’t—it’s only been a little while, and I don’t think we’re anywhere yet. So she can do whatever she wants.”
Kelce laughs. “No she can’t.”
“She can,” Rafe insists.
“Okay, then why don’t you go ask Chloe how she’s been doing in Alabama? I saw her by the pool.”
“I’m not doing that. Why would I do that? I’m here for Y/n/n,” Rafe answers dumbly, realizing a beat too late he’d walked right into that. “Fuck.”
Kelce laughs gleefully, patting him on the back. “Fuck. Fuck indeed.”
Rafe practically jumps when he feels a hand jab into his side, his ticklish spot.
“Hi, cutie.”
He doesn’t know when he lost you in his line of sight to the corner where you were talking to Mateo—now empty, because you’re here in front of him. Your arms wrap around his waist immediately, and he realizes you’re leaning up to kiss him when he feels your knees knock into his, tippy toes straining.
“Hi,” Rafe murmurs, getting a taste of your lip gloss. His favorite.
“Missed you,” you say, eyes trained on his. “Sorry, got caught up with Mateo for a second.”
“Oh, no, yeah,” he says, pointedly ignoring the way Kelce, and a conveniently-reappeared Topper are laughing behind your back. “No worries. Was wondering where you ran off too.”
“His little sister is considering the writing program at my school,” you say excitedly. That same twinkle in your eye that you’d had when you talked to Mateo. Probably about your program—fuck, Rafe’s an idiot. “Mrs. Rossi told her I got into the same one—you remember her? AP Lit?”
“Yeah,” Rafe nods, even though he doesn’t remember.
“Anyway, she asked Mateo to make the connect. She wants me to look at her portfolio this summer, isn’t that so cute?” you gush.
“The cutest,” Topper quips, even though he’s nearly gone red with suppressed laughter.
You ignore him, attention solely on Rafe. And maybe Kelce hadn’t been exaggerating earlier about being the object of your affections. It might be the best thing he’d ever felt.
“That’s so cool, baby. She’s a shoo-in with your help.”
And he’s saying it in front of his friends who are gonna rake him over the coals for it later but he doesn’t care. He means it. He’s read your writing before.
You lean up and kiss him again and this time Rafe’s hand finds the back of your head, slipping into your silky strands, fingers curling and uncurling again absentmindedly even when you pull away again. “Wanna go now? You’re good to drive, right? I already said bye to Margot.”
“Yep,” Rafe nods, already feeling for his phone, keys, and wallet, which are all exactly where he left them, in his pockets. “Let’s head out.”
“Later losers,” you say to Kelce and Topper. Rafe avoids their eyes as you two exit the kitchen, but he can feel them anyway. His friends are well-intentioned as hell, he knows, but god is it annoying sometimes.
“Did you wanna go get ice cream?” Rafe asks, once you’re both safely extracted from the house, walking down the street to his car, his doubts almost a distant memory. Mateo hadn’t been proposing marriage to you after all, but the insecurities are all out there now.
“We could,” you shrug, swinging your hands back and forth between you. “Kinda just wanna go home and watch a movie or something, though. Is that okay?”
Rafe has to keep his feet moving to meet your pace, can’t let himself dwell on the implications of your first night together, even if he’s pretty sure you’ll be sneaking him up the stairs, the two of you sentenced to a night of as little noise as possible. He’d come up the wall if you wanted him to. He might actually prefer it, if he remembers the way your father had caught his eye after he kissed your cheek at Dylan’s grad party.
“Yeah, that’s cool.”
“Cool,” you agree, dropping his hand to wait in front of the passenger’s side door. This is normally the part where Rafe opens it for you, keeping it locked until he’s sure you won’t try to do it yourself.
But this time, Rafe backs you into the side of the truck, placing a hand behind your back at the last second in case the night air had cooled the metal at all.
“Whoa,” you breathe. His girl. “Hi.”
“You and me,” Rafe starts, his stream of conscious flowing out of his mouth.
“Me and you,” you reply simply.
“Us,” Rafe says.
“Us,” you repeat.
“We’re… there’s an us, right?” he blurts. You furrow your eyebrows.
“That’s not funny, Rafe,” you say, smile fading. “Of course there’s an us.”
“No—you’re right. Of course,” Rafe says, resisting the urge to sag in relief, press his forehead into yours and breathe you in. “Of course there is.”
“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking unsure, confused at his outburst.
Rafe sighs, head tilting back just slightly, a hand rubbing over his eyes. You’re still looking right up at him when he looks back down, and what he’s trying to say comes easy to him.
“You’re spoken for now,” he declares. “Got it?”
Your eyes soften, and this time Rafe does press his forehead into yours and breathe you in, feeling the movement of your nod. “Got it.”
“Good,” he says, nose nudging yours to the side until he can lean in for a kiss. “Just making sure.”
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#outer banks imagine#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks
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Dichotomy Part 2
This fic is a continuation of the first bit of writing I did for Dichotomy, so make sure to check that out when you get the chance!
Warnings- Blood, violence, death, abuse, drugs, cursing, car crashes, and maybe some other things I'm not thinking of right now.
This part is pretty dark so just be aware, but we will get through the sad beginnings and into Tenko and Keigo being little buddies in a bit.
Part 1.
The door dings when Keigo steps in and ducks behind a shelf. He peeks through cans and bags to see the man behind the counter look up at the door and then take a quick survey of the convenience store in confusion. They shrug and go back to swiping on a phone Keigo recognizes from tv.
He tiptoes around the isles being careful of the little mirror in the corner of the ceiling reflecting the wares and any sneaking boys hiding amongst them. Keigo gulps and places random things that look good in the canvas bag at his feet and he jerks to attention when the door chimes once again. He keeps an eye on the only other person in the shop besides him and the worker but the woman just approaches the guy in a gray shirt and asks for cigarettes.
“You got an ID?”
The woman is quiet for a moment before she huffs in annoyance.
“Are you serious? I’m obviously not a damn teenager.”
The man shrugs, face bored. He points to a sign on the wall with scribbles on it Keigo can’t understand. They’re just random shapes to him.
“Policy, ma’am. You got one?”
The woman huffs again and digs into her purse. While they’re distracted, Keigo runs to an isle that has toilet paper and things for cars. He looks back up when he hears the register open and the man puts money into it and then takes some out.
He's seen one before, only once. Mom had given some lady paper in exchange for his Endeavor plush and he saw how much they keep in those. He isn’t sure what it would amount to, but he’s sure it’s a lot. There was a lot more paper in those metal drawers than he had ever seen someone have in their pockets.
He wants it.
Mom could buy so many happy things with that much money, he’s sure of it.
He dwells on how to get it. Maybe wait until another customer comes and use his feathers? As he thinks on a plan, the woman gives one last scathing look at the worker who is already back on his phone. The door gives another ring, indicating her departure and the worker looks up to see her drive off.
“Fuckin’ bitch,” the man grunts out. He comes out from behind the door leading to his area where there are countless boxes of cigarettes and signs. He pulls out his own pack from his pocket and goes outside, struggling to light it with the strong wind billowing beyond the windows.
Keigo makes sure his back is completely turned before he makes his move.
There!
He ducks behind the door and scrambles up onto a stool in front of the register and looks at it, lost. Keigo doesn’t understand any of the buttons or words and the draw doesn’t have a handle to pull it out. Sliding a hardened feather between the crack, he fiddles with the machine from the inside until it bumps against something and there’s a click. The drawer slides open and Keigo gapes at the coins and paper inside. He chances a quick look back to the clerk who is still smoking, one hand to his mouth, the other swiping his thumb on the small back box he’s been fiddling with this whole time.
Keigo breathes out a relieved sound and the store is coated with crimson in an instant. Feathers race through the isles, plundering the bounty of snacks and food into plastic bags as he shoves all the money he can get his little fingers on into the canvas one he came with.
He runs back out to the main part of the store and recalls any feathers that aren’t needed to lift his loot. Taking a bracing breath, Keigo gives one test flap of his wings. He can do this, he decides. He can still fly like this, it’s fine.
The door beeps one last time as Keigo flies out as fast as he can, feathers and bags trailing after him so fast they’re almost a blur as he rushes past the man in the gray shirt. His eyes bulge as he sees what’s zooming out of the door beside him.
“Ah! H- hey!” He runs after the small boy but quickly gives up before he even makes it to the end of the parking lot. He throws his hands into the air in disbelief. “What the hell?!”
Keigo doesn’t slow down for anything, speeding through alleyways and side roads that he’s been wandering for days now. He has a decent idea of where heroes will be around this time of day and he carefully avoids those areas like the plague.
His heart is pounding from what he’s just done but he continues. It’s for Mamma. This inky feeling in his chest and stomach and at the back of his tongue are all for her. She’s going to be so happy, he tells himself. She’s gonna be so proud of him, he can be useful, he can prove it. He clutches the bag of money to his chest tighter so none is blown out. He won’t lose a single coin.
With this much money he won’t even have to do this again! Maybe they can buy a house and get jobs like everyone else he sees below him gawking at the bags in the air. Despite the guilt, he finds himself smiling.
It’ll all be okay now.
The wind is chilly against his skin but it feels nice compared to the heat he had felt running through him during his robbery. He relishes in it, swooping towards an overpass eager to see Mamma.
Something changes quickly. One of his feathers suddenly isn’t being weighed down anymore and he turns his head to look at it, alarmed.
There’s an empty bag, torn open at the bottom flapping in the feather’s hold. He can see the things that used to occupy it plummeting towards the highway over the water.
He gasps, flailing in midair as he flings himself at the falling food. He calls more feathers to help but he can’t sacrifice any more if he wants to stay in the sky. He isn’t going to make it, he realizes, horrified.
Keigo grimaces as cans of tuna and spam rain from the sky onto the cars below. The windshield of a silver car splinters, tomato soup splattering everywhere. The vehicle swerves into the other lane and Keigo shouts in alarm as car after car collides. There's the screeching metal and his feathers pick up the vibrations of screams.
It’s an utter disaster.
Keigo drops everything as he dives down towards the cars, his feathers racing through the air to try and scoop people out of the twisted remains of their vehicles. He doesn’t give the bag of money a second thought and he lets it go easily, bills fluttering into the river below the highway. He focuses everything he has on finding the vibrations of cries and screams, things he recognizes from his mother when she doesn’t get her happy things or when Dad used to be angry.
Keigo skids to a quick and painful landing, his bare feet scraping asphalt and glass as he comes to a stop. He’s managed to tug a few people out of the wreckage but there's a lot of red everywhere and he knows the cans of soup didn’t hit that many cars…
Those he ripped out of their vehicles are screaming in agony and fear, smacking at the feathers dragging them across the road. Someone points at him, their face an angry mask of pure rage. “You,” the man shouts. Keigo flinches, his wings tucking close to his back as the man hobbles on one good foot towards him. His face and voice are different from his father, but that expression is the same.
Hate.
“You did this! I saw you, you little fuck! I saw you drop those things on us!”
“She’s not breathing,��� someone else screams. “Please, someone, she’s not breathing!”
Keigo takes his eyes away from the man approaching him and his father’s voice hisses in his mind. He can almost feel it in his feathers.
How dare you look away from me?!
He looks back to where there’s a car pinned against the metal stretching across the road's expanse. He can see through what used to be the windows. There’s large white pillows in the front seats, but in the back row there’s a woman who isn’t moving.
Her eyes are open but they look empty. It reminds him of when Mamma gets her happy things. The kind she uses shoelaces and needles and spoons to take. There’s blood at her temple, yellow hair plastered to the side of her face, and there- through her side- is a piece of metal as big as Keigo is, embedded in her torso from the door.
He stumbles back in shock and lets out a terrified squawk when strong, calloused hands snag in his feathers. He cries out and sharpens them on instinct and the man screams in pain, dropping him the few feet he managed to yank him up before three of his fingers were severed cleanly off.
“You little monster,” the man howls at him. “You evil little shit!” He’s holding the stumps where fingers used to be close to his chest, breathing heavily as he glares. He isn’t stepping closer to him anymore and Keigo can see fear in those eyes swarming alongside the hate. “Look what you’ve done! You’ve killed somebody! The hell is wrong with you?!”
Keigo looks around at the chaos he created. He looks at the cans of food, the boxes of snacks, the bars of candy, and a few scattered bills and coins that didn’t make it to the river. He looks at the blood and black stuff coating the ground and the three fingers laying at his feet.
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I’m sorry!”
Keigo stumbles backwards, his legs feel numb and he doesn’t even notice how his feet hurt anymore. All he can feel is guilt. The world shattering shame making it impossible to think, to say anything more than a weak apology.
He tries to suck in a breath but it becomes a pitiful whine from his heart trying to shove itself out of his throat. All of a sudden the world is too bright, too loud, too cold, too hot- too everything. His feathers pick it all up, even the sticky weight of blood clinging to his feathers and he’s in the air before he can come back to himself.
Keigo's breathing is ragged and his face feels wet and cold and he can’t see very well, but he has to get to her, he has to get back to Mamma!
What is she gonna say?!
He stole from the store so he wouldn’t have to take things from people’s pockets, so he wouldn’t have to hurt anyone, and he couldn’t even do that! Momma was right- Dad was right- he’s useless.
He’s a horrible little brat.
By the time he finally makes it, he skids to a sloppy stop in the water. He loses his footing on the slippery rocks under the surface and he sinks right into the pool of old leaves and empty wrappers. Mamma jerks out of her sleep with a strangled cry. She looks confused and scared but she relaxes when she sees Keigo stumbling out of the water to her.
She smiles, weak but hopeful at him and opens her arms. He collapses into her embrace, too distracted to even shake off his soaking wet wings that are heavy against his back. She hushes him and pets his hair comfortingly. “There, there,” she tells him. “I know you hate doing these things, but I’m so proud of you, Baby.” She leans down to take his wet face into her grimy hands.
“How much did you get, Kei? Where is it?”
“I don- I don’t–” he can’t get the words out past the horrible tightness in his throat. “I don’ have it, Mamma, I messed up! I messed up so bad!”
Mamma stills. Her thumbs stop wiping the moisture from the corners of his eyes and his shaking doubles. His small hands cling to her, his eyes searching her face for any sign of comfort. All he finds there is chilly gray tones swirling with disappointed anger.
“Momma--”
“I asked you for one thing, Keigo! One fucking thing! Steal some goddamn money for us and you can’t even do something as simple as that!”
He knows. God, does he know.
She tries to shove him off but he worms in closer, trying to hide his face in her chest. She snarls and yanks at his hair. He ignores it and uses his wings to propel himself further into her space.
“Get off of me! Get the fuck away from me you useless little bastard!”
Keigo clings to her tighter. “I tried, I tried! I’m sorry! I dropped it! I dropped it all and- and–”
For the second time that day he feels hands tear at his feathers and he scrambles backwards. He has enough sense not to cut his mother, but his wings won’t stop twitching even after he lands on his ass in the water once more.
“Get out of here,” she whispers. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back until you’ve got cash, you hear me?!”
“But-”
“Now, Keigo!!”
He pushes himself clumsily out of the water once more and flaps his wings to try and take off. It’s difficult. They’re heavy and wet and cold and he’s so scared but he manages to get out of the short tunnel and far away from his mother’s enraged cries.
He’s crying loudly, he knows he is, but he can’t stop it. Momma and Dad hate when he cries, it’s annoying. Crying doesn’t solve anything, they told him so- but he just. Can’t. Stop!
He lands on a roof when his heavy wings are just too hard to keep himself in the air anymore. He rests on his hands and knees, hiccupping and whimpering to himself to try and stay quiet.
Sinking closer to the rooftop, he just sniffles against the ground miserably.
He ruined everything.
He wishes he brought Endeavor with him. However the very thought of the hero has his crying ramp up again. How could he ever look at that doll again after what he did today? He was a villain. A murderer, just like Dad. He killed that woman. He probably killed more than just her!
And it was all for nothing.
He has nothing to show for it besides the blood that’s clinging to some of his feathers. He detaches the tainted tufts of red and snaps them in half, tearing them up as much as he can. The roof is decorated with little bits of crimson that are pushed around by the wind and swept away from him. Keigo watches them go with a glare.
They were useless today.
Useless, just like his parents had called them. Just like him, they were a mistake. A horrible little curse that should never have been born. He proved that much was true today.
Keigo settles on his rear and brings his arms around his knees while he sniffles miserably into the wet fabric of his pants, the material clinging to him like a second skin even now. It’s getting colder out and the sun is going down. He’s going to be stuck in these wet clothes all night, he realizes.
Serves him right.
His feet are still numb and bloody and he looks at them warily. They don’t really hurt but he knows there’s glass in there. Keigo swipes an arm over his face and gets to work pulling the small shards out where he can.
He doesn’t know how long he sits there afterwards but the pain behind his eyes fades enough to be bearable so Keigo pushes himself to his feet. He’s shivering but he doesn’t really feel cold anymore, either. He doesn’t really feel anything.
He’s got to get money, he tells himself.
Momma’s waiting.
___________________
Yeah, so Keigo didn't have a good day.
Tenko should be introduced soon, so hang on tight! We'll get to the hurt and comfort and wholesome stuff in a little bit! It won't all be dreary and dark, I promise.
I'll be posting more writing since my laptop won't let me draw anymore, so look forward to that I guess. 😅
I really do wish I could have drawn some scenes from this to post alongside of it. That's always fun, but it'll have to wait till I get a new laptop sorted out.
#dichotomy#hawks#keigo#keigo takami#takami keigo#tomie#tomie keigo#bnha#mha#my writing#blood#death#violence#abuse#my fic
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The roiling water enveloped Michelle. The hottub had been her best decision of this decade. The chaos from the power struggle over Bricktown was a distant second to the marvels of the new machine. True, her dead flesh no longer ached in ways that heat could soothe. Her body had lost buoyancy along with its life. But the novelty of it was enough. The whole experience was rather how she imagined it would feel to be put into a pot over a fire and become soup.
“Mamm’?”
Fina was always so quiet. It was hard to hear the lamb over the bubbling of the hottub. Michelle cracked an eye open. The Ventrue peeked from around the door. There was a tension to her smile. That meant work. That meant effort. Neither was welcome in the hottub. Michelle contemplated sinking under the water and playing at torpor for a few months. Other parts of Michelle whispered about making lamb soup. She pushed them aside, opening both eyes to give her full attention.
“Come in! The water’s fine.”
The Ventrue’s smile twisted into a disapproving moue. Adorable. A new desire settled into Michelle’s mind. The desire twisted into the meat of her like maggots into roadkill. Michelle’s smile hardened.Others had the good sense to flee when Michelle smiled so. Fina merely settled on the edge of the tub, the picture of suspicious composure.
“Mamm’, I think we need to review the policy on hunters.”
That was… not what the Prince expected. She hauled herself upright against the weight of her own lassitude.
“My lamb, have you been keeping secrets of my own domain from me?”
“Of course not.” Fina did not roll her eyes. Ventrue did not roll their eyes. Michelle could still hear the action in her daughter’s voice. “Not of your domain, at least. Do you recall my gossiping about the coterie from Andover?”
Did she recall? Michelle paused, racking the fragments of her memories. Something about a Brujah in a blood bond? One of them had visited Antonia, the one who made and used the fun substances. She had hoped to make explosives with him, but time had been short and the Ventrue reluctant to present an ill-gotten fledgling in a false Agoge.
“A bit. What does that have to do with my domain, lamb?” Unease prickled at the edges of her mind. How in the hell did overseas hunters take issue with the Metro? “...Surely Mia Monroe has not brought baggage with her from Paris?”
“Do you recall the reformed hunter? The one dallying with my clanmate?” That wasn’t a denial of Mia’s involvement. Michelle made a mental note to speak to the girl personally about the matter once the danger had passed. “It seems he’s back to old habits. I understand that we agreed hunters were to be left alone unless they managed to cause actual harm. Hunters who cause actual trouble meet their end. However, I believe this may be an exception to the rule.”
Michelle folded her arms on the tub’s edge near Fina’s perch. “Walter is going to love an exception to the rule. It’s his favorite thing, right next to pissing you off.”
“I have never once been upset with Walter-”
“Pull the other one!”
“-and I have most certainly never been pissed off, as you put it.” The maggot desire wriggled in Michelle’s mind. No, the time wasn’t right. She had to wait. Fina gave pause for any other interjections before carrying on. “In this one instance,I feel a different approach may result in better outcomes. I received an anonymous letter concerned that this hunter is bound to one of our kind. I am taking this as someone working through this hunter to interfere in the domain. I felt you would not tolerate these things.”
Michelle squinted. She wasn’t the fondest of bonds. None of her lineage were. Fina knew that intimately. The girl always did try to walk the line between manipulation and honesty. It was annoying every time.
“So we kill him and we kill the one who sent him.” Michelle scowled. Apparently the Anarchs firebombing the last trespasser didn’t make a clear enough impression. “It sounds fairly straightforward. We deal with the Sword first, but after-”
“It’s not that simple.” Here Fina deflated. There was something so delicate about the droop of her shoulders. Michelle strangled the urge to reach out and comfort the girl. Fina had grown very skilled at this particular tactic over the years, intended or not. “There’s a child involved. Going directly after the responsible party could endanger them.”
Ah. No, it was not that simple. Nothing ever was. Fire crackled at the back of her soul. The wailing of her newborn echoed in her ears as they took her away. Another self stirred at her own anger. Michelle swallowed herself. She needed to be present for this.
Fire could burn the child as easily as the man.
“Well, that’s a horse of a different color. What do you suggest?”
“It is frowned upon in our usual circles, but…” The girl gazed about as if physically looking for the words she needed. Michelle perked up. This sounded like breaking rules. Michelle loved breaking rules. She loved the Ventrue breaking rules a very close second. “What if we broke his bond? He’d likely want to turn on his master. Two birds, one stone.” Here Fina picked up speed like a train attempting to derail. Michelle knew there was no stopping her when she got like this. She could only enjoy the people getting caught under-wheel. “I feel it is the best option for public opinion, obtaining revenge without expending our already thinly-spread resources, and quickly resolving the matter so as to not create weakness within the domain.”
“I assume you already have a plan in mind?”
“Naturally.” The girl seemed mildly offended. Good. “Signorina Vicario and her lover have already been gathering intelligence. He has been traveling about ghouling those who once belonged to the same hunter cult. His presence in the city would mean such a person would be his target. Baiting the trap would be easy enough.”
“And not that you lured him here out of misguided sympathy.” Fina opened her mouth to protest. Michelle held a hand up to silence her. “Ah ah- don’t say you wouldn’t. I raised you.”
The idea was sound. The solution was clean. The phrasing was off. Michelle narrowed her eyes at Fina.
“You just don’t want to kill someone yourself.”
To Fina’s credit, she did seem a bit abashed about being caught.
“I never want to see people suffer, no.”
The maggots wriggled in her mind once more. The girl’s soft heart was going to be the death of them. Killing the hunter and framing it as an accident would be the easiest solution if they planned it out. The other hunters he may know wouldn’t even suspect them. Disappointing her daughter, however…
The maggots pulsed in unison. Michelle finally reached out to wrap Fina in her arms. Both women tumbled into the steam and water, Fina squawking her indignation until the water shut her up.
It was going to be a long few weeks.
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The ugly, ugly truth of a stone to the heart.
“Even on my worst days, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me? Because I loved you… I swore I’d love you until my dying day.”
Ladies, theybies, gentlemen and kinfolk alike gather round, Gather round!
For I have quite the tale to tell you.
It’s a cautionary true tale of tragedy, heart ache, heart break, love, loss, kindness and a lesson in why empathy isn’t always the best policy.
Our story spans the better part of a decade and… none of it’s enjoyable.
The people in this story are extremely real and is based entirely on fact, truth and genuine circumstance; that being said please do not take it upon yourself to absorb this traumatic situation to make it your own or to use this as a shield to hide behind your own feelings for the situation and the people involved.
If you care too greatly for those involved and you simply want to stay away from the details or would rather live a Schrödinger’s lifestyle I implore you to back out now, stop reading and call it a night… that’s enough social media for tonight.
If not, please read on.
To start I’ll answer some questions as I usually do.
Q. Why are you doing this?
A. I’ve been hounded relentlessly for it on NGL and there’s a character limit there so I figured if you really wanna know so bad? here we are.
Q. Why do you feel the need to do this?
A. Two reasons
1. He’s gonna say I’m crazy and hide the truth so might as well actually be crazy and spill the beans
2. I’ve accidentally opened a door to social media where some of you feel genuinely entitled to the details of my personal relationships and the damage is done.
Q. Will you share your life openly on social media in the future?
A. Maybe… maybe not.
If this experience has taught me anything it’s you really cannot trust the people around you and sometimes you need to trust that the universe knows details you don’t and hears conversations you can’t.
If the circle needs to close, let it close.
It doesn’t matter how much you love them or how badly you want things to change.
Q. Does the other party know you’re sharing these details?
A. Probs not, hey? But I also don’t care?
Not once did that man think about me or our children at any point through his indiscretions… so… 🤷♀️
Q. What happens if your kids read this in the future?
A. I’m extremely honest with my girls and they’re already aware of the important details and this is a lived experience for us all.
I’m not sharing aaaaaaaaalllll the traumatic shit because… I don’t want to relive that? Just the relative need to knows.
trigger warnings in effect for infidelity, abuse, anger, sadness, depression, miscarriage and everything else that feels like anguish.
Are you ready kids?
Because it’s gonna be a bumpy ride…
“I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”
Let’s take you back 10 years. It’s 2014, MH370 Is missing, Ebolas a problem, Vine is popping off and Fancy by Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX is taking the world by storm.
I’m a newly single 21 year with 2 kids under 3 and my friends are trying to set me up with a cute boy they knew who, I was CERTAIN wasn’t interested in me.
The boy could barely look at me without frowning and when I tried to speak to him he always looked like he was in pain. There was no way he liked me… and yet he was asking me on a date.
He was a little younger, lots of fun and very handsome… and also NINETEEN. And he didn’t have kids of his own. And liked to party. And he didn’t finish school. And he couldn’t drive and he didn’t have any responsibilities and he had his whole life ahead of him… why on earth would this man chain himself to a woman with 2 young children?
Trading in Kesha and Skrillex in dark rooms overflowing with booze and dimly lit with lasers for Peppa pig and Disney movies on the couch illuminated with a nightlight and a 3 years olds giggle… not the most ideal trade for a young man and yet still, he promised he wanted it.
He wanted a family, a life, a house full of love and children of his own someday.
“Even if it does work out and he actually likes me it’s a recipe for disaster … this is a bad idea” I thought to myself.
10 years later I kick myself for not trusting my instincts and hate the fact that, like always, I was right.
Ok I’m not always right.
Once I thought there were 100 seconds in a minute and 60 centimetres in a metre... yeah yeah, I know. I KNOW.
But I am always right about PEOPLE. who they are, how they act as their true selves and their core motivations.
When you’ve been through enough trauma to madden a small army you get pretty good at seeing things for what they are… and even better at delusionally pretending you can’t and especially so when love is involved.
Back to the story.
Time wore on and we were happy... Mostly.
Or at least we were right up until our first major hurdle as a couple… infidelity.
The genius accidentally showed me someone’s nude photographs on his computer while trying to open an anime for us to watch.
How was it handled?
He said I planted it there to make him look bad and that I was trying to set him up.
Listen, I’m crazy… but I’m not INSANE.
I dye my hair pink on a whim and drive interstate for a meal. I’ll laugh so hard at a seal screaming at a traffic cone I’ll accidentally trigger a panic attack.
See? Crazy, but not insane.
Naturally I rebutted and refuted his claims but he doubled down which is when he learned gaslighting was an effective tool to weaponise against someone with admitted lapses in memory.
Yes, you can start cringing now. It only gets worse from here.
We hadn’t even hit our first anniversary before the cracks were well and truly embedded and they ran DEEP.
And I stayed. Stupidly, because I thought somehow I DID somehow plant them there or it WAS somehow my fault.
What if it WAS an old photo that he just happened to have saved to his desktop that he forgot about? Benefit of the doubt right?
Wrong. WRONG.
I look back on that poor young gullible woman and I’m filled with rage. He’s nice, sure but he’s not worth the thousands of dollars in therapy and the years of happiness lost.
Stacey, you should have run. Got out clean! Dodged a bullet!
It doesn’t matter if there was another failed relationship, this wasn’t on your hands you don’t have to prove you can outlast something out of spite anymore.
BUT I DIGRESS.
we move on, things change.
We put in some work together, I change jobs he goes back to school to get his apprenticeship… things are going kinda great! (Aside from my medical mishaps and me losing my job that is)
…And then we got new neighbours.
That’s when the real trouble began.
Within a year of them moving in he had made friends, destroyed a marriage, broke up two families and forced us to move.
Why? Because he just had to try and (maybe) succeed in fucking his best friends fiancée (our next door neighbours).
That one was hard.
I had just endured a miscarriage and was undergoing a likely cancer diagnosis… I’d spent the day before having holes poked into my cervix to remove suspicious cells and I was worn out and exhausted.
After a long ass day of being in pain and raising girls I had just put dinner on the table and felt ready to cry. He tried to cheer me up and show me a “a funny meme” at the table. What he ended up showing me was my very pregnant next door neighbour masturbating in a towel.
I didn’t laugh at the hilarious portrait. He wasn’t laughing when I threw him out of my house and slammed the door. The neighbours saw, they whispered “see, he said she was insane”
I didn’t care.
He deleted the evidence of the affair and tried to convince me I didn’t actually see anything and i had just made it up. She got ahead of the curve and told her partner I was just an awful woman with an axe to grind.
“It’s the stress of the situation, it’s because you’re sick. You’ve just lost your job. You need me”
I could scream now.
Therapy made me believe I was somehow responsible for this adult child’s inability to regulate his impulses
“He has adhd… and addiction issues… relapses will happen but you love each other. He can’t be fully held accountable for his actions you’re going to have to learn to work around these problems”.
“You both want to work on this right?”
Right?
It’s not like you have a lot going for you anyway…
One more shot… just one more.
And then while we were in the thick of working on our relationship to each other he left for work again and lived in Newcastle 5 days to 7 days a week for 6 months.
I stayed here, trying to work full time, raise 2 kids and wrap up a custody battle.. he forgot I even existed. He’d forget to call… forget to message… forget to tell the girls good night…
You can guess what happened.
Of course you can, you see the pattern. You’re not blinded.
And you know what? I definitely saw it too.
Except now? He’s adored by my girls and were newly engaged I can’t just back out now.. I can’t take away their parent.
It’s not their fault he does these things and he’s mostly so good to them… maybe I could just learn to live with this….
Maybe if I just lost the weight or tried harder to be a better wife or was more demure and less abrasive… maybe I needed to change my hair or my style or my entire personality… maybe tattoos might help.
Maybe if I changed everything about myself it might make it easier for him to want to love me…
Stacey you fucking Brussel Sprout you’re TRAUMATISED.
He didn’t need to gaslight me anymore. I was doing it to myself FOR him.
Can you believe we haven’t even hit the half way point yet.
The next ones though… these were DOOZYS.
It’s now 2019. We’re supposed to be getting married in 3 months. Guess who’s texting pictures of his dick to women on the internet again? SPOILER ALERT: It wasn’t me.
The wedding is off. We’re just living together at this point out of sheer necessity.
And that’s when things really took a turn.
I won’t get into the details because.. this bit is really REALLY sad but the highlight reel runs: a broken hand from punching a hole through the floor, a trip to the emergency mental health unit for one, $30,000.00 in debt and three of us in crisis accomodation over Christmas in a hostel later I’m now free… and he was in the local gatts bed the day I left.
Moving forwards I have my own place, I’m feeling better, I worked on myself and I was feeling great about life again.
He and I are still friends trying to maintain a friendship for the girls who still adore him. They don’t know any different and I don’t have the heart to tell them.
And then covid happened.
And he started staying more and more frequently… and he’s changed and he’d worked on himself and things were different this time…
I wanna puke I’m so dumb. DUMMMMBB.
For a while though, things actually were great. We were working together as a team, the girls were thriving and things were going well…
So why won’t he commit to long term goals?
The tension was palpable. Our friends were CONFUSED. I was devastated.
From the very beginning all I had ever asked for was for him to love me and the girls unconditionally and that we’d get married and grow our family together.
This was only ever expanded to include “and to not cheat on me”.
He swore these goals were shared. Promised these were things he wanted too and that he definitely wanted them.
So why, after 7 years of back and forth would he not ask me to marry him and make things official? He’s asked before right? Why won’t he ask again?
Why after 7 years did we have no savings, no shared major assets and no real plan to expand our family? Why did we not have a 5 year goal?
Because he didn’t want too in the first place.
I begged.
Cried.
Pleaded.
“What can I do?” I’d lament.
“Why is this just not working” I’d whisper between sobs. And he’d comfort me. Reassure me it’s not me, things are just tough… the excuses were endless.
“Why am I not enough?” I was torturing myself.
We were in the throws of twice weekly couples therapy that I’m paying a shit tonne for.
I’m doing the homework, I’m working on my communication, I’m engaging in the sessions and baring all because I’m committed to making this work.
Him?
“It’s hard for me, you know I don’t like reading. Talking about myself makes me uncomfortable, I lost the homework binders, I hate doing these exercises they’re dumb and they do nothing”.
And then guess who unexpectedly fell pregnant? Me. It was me.
I was thrilled. He was mad.
I don’t think he actually expected this to happen, I mean I know he didn’t because he accused me of cheating on him for it to have happened. I didn’t, by the way.
No matter though, a routine check up revealed this little angel wasn’t proceeding.
I spent my New Year’s Eve in a hospital alone and scared having the news confirmed to me that the child I had longed for hadn’t made it and it was time to proceed with the next steps… and then we went to a pool party so he could ignore me.
“We can’t let our friends down Stacey, they’re expecting us. It might do you some good.”
My mind was elsewhere. I was a shell. On another astral realm while my body just robotically moved on the physical plane.
He? Was on an inflatable unicorn in the pool living his best life.
Splashing and smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong.
Was I wrong? Was I wrong to feel this way? It had only been 10 weeks maybe he’s right and maybe I was just too attached to an idea…
A few days later I proceeded to endure the most traumatic medical procedure of my life. After bleeding uncontrollably for hours at home I attended the emergency department where they completed a bedside extraction without pain relief because all the ORs were contaminated with covid patients.
A 24 year old nurse named Bethany who confessed earlier she was so overwhelmed and wanted to leave the profession held my hand and let me cry into her shoulder while another nurse held my legs apart so the doctor could do what he needed to do.
He stayed home and played Spider-Man to pass the time. Granted it was during covid and it was suggested he wait outside, I didn’t expect him to go home brag about finishing the game.
Y U C K
Then there was the incident at our best friends wedding… l wasn’t myself again yet after losing the baby the month prior but it was our friends wedding and I wanted to be there.
We booked a hotel room on the premises, I wanted to make it special. I put in some EFFORT to look as hot as I could… it didn’t work.
He got trashed and threw up in a garden because he didn’t want to spend time with me. I wanted to sit next to each other and dance on the dance floor and feel the love in the room…
He staggered to the hotel room.
I stayed a little longer because it was our best friends wedding? And I wanted to enjoy it?
I danced with my friends mum.
Hopped in the Photo Booth with some friends, ate some cake and then my social battery ran dry.
Exhausted, it was my turn to stumble back to the hotel room. My swollen feet rubbing in my heels, a little tipsy from the wine and lost because the room numbers didn’t make sense.
I find my way back and he’s passed out on the bed, fully suited, shoes still on and phone in hand.
Silly man. I thought. Had too much fun.
“I’ll get his shoes off for a start.. now I’ll put his phone on charge for him…” it was still unlocked. Messages open. He was sexting our old neighbour again.
I dropped the phone. Stifled my cry.
I sat cross legged in the bottom of the shower and sobbed for hours.
The usual.
I was embarrassed and ashamed.
My friends can never know… at their wedding?!
He’d be dead by morning.
I kept it to myself. I mean I confronted him when he found me in the shower but that one I wanted to keep to myself.
I wish I didn’t.
It wasn’t long after that he went away for work AGAIN. our entire life was him disappearing for weeks to months at a time for work. This time it wasn’t too far away and it was a short trip to Bathurst for a few days but I had a hunch…
Sigh.
This is just a joke now.
Cycle repeats. There’s another woman, there are photos, there are messages and I feel sick except this time there’s an ultimatum. Do it again and this time I’ll burn your life to the ground.
He promises and I do too. He promised he’d do the right thing, I promised I’d set fire to everything we’d built together just to watch the flames cleanse and scorch the earth between us.
He went straight back to love bombing and I’d just checked out at this point, going through the motions of life waiting for the inevitable error.
Because I knew it was coming.
It could take a week, it could be 5 years but I knew it would come…. And boy oh boy did it come.
The wheels well and truly fell off the wagon when he forgot my 30th birthday and said I was dramatic for expecting him to know he had to plan something.
… what.
It’s your significant others birthday… a milestone one… you didn’t have to build me a palace dude I just wanted a fuckin’ card and maybe for you to plan something with the kids.
I was biding my time. I knew our relationship was over.
We were now approaching 10 years of …. This… and there was still no ring on my finger. No love in our house and no children running free.
25 May 2024, the break up date was set in my mind.
I was waiting it out when again… 2 little pink lines came up in August.
I didn’t want to allow myself to be hopeful but I did.
The more time went on the more excited I got and the more distant he became.
“It’s just nerves after what happened last time”
*pterodactyl screech*
NO IT’S NOOOOOTTTTT.
The Second trimester rolls around, we’re starting to tell everyone... I’m jazzed. I feel like my life’s falling into a disjointed step and things are looking relatively good… that deadlines looking really silly now. Maybe I was wrong? I wanted so BADLY to be proven wrong. I had HOPED I was wrong.
The only thing that stopped me from announcing our news to everyone we knew? We were waiting on our harmony test to confirm a gender before I told my parents who I knew would be over the fuckin’ moon.
A 15 week routine check up confirmed our daughter Emery lost her heartbeat sometime that week.
I was devastated.
Gutted.
Drowned in grief.
And I felt so alone.
I felt like I was mourning this loss and a bit more on my own and I couldn’t understand why. I knew my daughter was gone but I couldn’t understand what else I was grieving.
Subconsciously I think I knew.
Like another cruel twist of fate I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. No waves of rolling pain it was just ow. It’s labour but it’s wrong.
In the middle of the night I drove myself to the hospital and delivered my little girl on my own. The staff were incredible and concerned I was alone.
They dosed me up on morphine and I silently wept for hours.
By the time he arrived to the hospital to “support me” I was ready to go home.
I drove myself home to cry my eyes out and get our kids ready for school and he went to work like it was another normal day.
Weeks go by and I’m lost; spiraling into a deep depression and I can’t anchor myself to anything to slow the decent.
I’m stuck somewhere between sorrow and anger and a weird dissociative state that I can’t shake.
I’m trying to run my household, turn up for work, parent my children, look after myself and be a good friend and an attentive partner but I’m falling short at every turn. Everything I touch becomes sick with melancholy.
Everything I’m trying isn’t working.
And then it hits me. I’m grieving alone.
I am GRIEVING alone.
I am doing it ALL by myself. All the household chores, all the errands, all the things required to maintain a family and a relationship. I’m going to my appointments alone. I’m going through the motions alone. I’m crying alone. I’m awake at night with my heart in pieces alone. I’m reading the books alone, I’m trying to cope alone and I’m trying to love again alone.
Our intimacy disappeared as soon as he knew we were expecting and it just didn’t come back.
He was always so angry at me because I couldn’t get it together and he’s constantly on his phone… I know what this is…. I’ve seen this movie before and I know how it ends.
My heart sank.
Dread seeps in.
The insidious feeling creeps into the back of my mind and I cannot shake it.
So I did the cardinal Cardi B sin.. I went through his phone that night and I found some things I definitely didn’t like.
He was cheating the entire way through our pregnancy, loss and afterwards.
Including the night I delivered.
Who is she? Some girl i met on TikTok. How long has it been going on for? Not long, a few months.
I saw red.
I cut sick.
I went feral.
You don’t need me to tell you why.
I was definitely done this time. The ick was severe.
I screamed in agony. Ugly hot tears spewing from my eyes with pure unbridled rage. How dare you. How very fucking dare you.
I threw what I could get my hands on, clawed at my own skin to try and hold onto the pieces of my soul that were so desperately trying to escape my body… I had descended into madness.
I spat words laced with venom from a place of hurt, building and bubbling over the last 10 years all coming out like an unstoppable crescendo.
My body in a state of shock didn’t know whether to turn my brain off as a response to trauma, have a panic attack or violently grieve through the pain I felt. Somehow, it did all three.
I’m not proud of the woman I was that night… not the nights immediately after.
Grief on grief on grief on grief… I had already lost so much it had just compounded into this hideous snowball.
My best friend, my child and now my love.. what could possibly be next?
Things became extremely uncomfortable when I confirmed to him I was definitely done this time. I couldn’t look at him and feel comfort and I couldn’t find solace in his eyes anymore. All I felt was a burning hot rage and bitter, BITTER betrayal and I wanted to rip down the walls of the house we built together.
He kept telling me we could make it work that it was a mistake and he was regretful and he was committed to change this time around.
Too late bro.
The little part of me that still loved you died the second I read you had called HER the day I delivered a corpse but you couldn’t call me to check on me?
Vile.
I had always thought that I wasn’t a prize, that I wasn’t worth shit and that nobody would love me and I should be grateful for the small bits of love and the bare minimum I got.
I thought that the love and affection I had so desperately tried to cultivate just wasn’t real and only existed to serve as a plot device in fairytales.
I thought that if I left him my life would be over and the walls would collapse in. That I couldn’t live without him in my life… like I didn’t know how. I wasn’t ready to let go or maybe I didn’t want too.
Our shared trauma bonds didn’t allow me to see what a life without toxicity could be.
It was awful and tumultuous but it was familiar and it was safe.
I was terrified of starting over and petrified of being alone.
That I would somehow be judged for not being able to make this work and that somehow it would be me to blame that I couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering. That my daughters would somehow hate me for taking away their father figure.
Stupid, I know.
That night was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. As soon as I verbalised to myself and to him that whatever this was was… whatever the last decade was… was done it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and the dark rain cloud drowning me had dissipated.
I began to feel free.
The person I thought I lost slowly began creeping back in… I felt more and more like myself everyday.
We made the decision to run the lease out and still live together for the time being. It was only a few months. It was achievable… right?
I hated the animosity I still felt but I loved the person I was rebecoming. I thought I could do it.
I am an idiot and I was wrong.
I hadn’t told anyone about what was happening except my 6 closest friends who have supported me through this like absolute legends. If you were anywhere near my socials you would have guessed something was up but I didn’t really elaborate to anyone outside the 6.
I was happy and coping as best I could. But I wasn’t immune. Crying fits, bouts of anger and just real mean shit wasn’t uncommon… it was quickly becoming apparent this was terrible for my mental health and couldn’t be sustainable.
I can’t live with looking at the face of my trauma and he can’t live with me wanting to rip his throat out of his body any time I see an exposed neck.
Something has to give.
Flash forwards to New Year’s Eve. Some time had passed and a very nice man who had been checking in on me as a friend messaged me nicely on Instagram to wish me a happy new year and said that they were grateful to know me and was excited for us to be excellent friends in 2024.
I echoed the sentiment.
He then replied to a photo I had posted to my story to say I looked very good and that the picture itself was Lock Screen worthy.
A little cheeky, a little flirty… but I liked it.
But just like anything in this story, it’s not quite that simple because even though he was a third party with limited knowledge of the state of my personal affairs except for the fact I was vaguely single and based of that information decided to compliment a girl on the internet… he unknowingly and unwittingly set off an uncomfortable chain reaction resulting in me learning exactly who my ex lover really was and what they were actually capable of… and this poor man was unfairly caught in the crossfires of someone else’s mistakes.
And that’s something I’ll be regretful for, for the rest of my life.
Unbeknownst to me, while I was reading the nice message of appreciation for my friendship and a cheeky compliment that had my self confidence on the rise so too, was my ex partner.
Reading over my shoulder in a veiled attempt to pry into my personal life.
He was big mad.
Mad someone had the audacity to be kind to me. Mad someone had the gumption to think I was pretty. Mad someone had the gaul to tell me so. Mad someone had the hide to appreciate my friendship and what I could offer.
He was MAD mad.
I promise you, if you saw a screen shot from this extremely tame and respectful interaction you’d sit there and think … “is that it?”
No grand display of love or devotion, no vulgar sexting, no big feelings and nothing even remotely derogatory towards my ex partner. Just two pals saying “happy new year and hey, you look cute tonight by the way”.
Until that very moment when he dropped a cheeky flirt it had only ever been platonic between us…Except for the night we met 2 years ago but that’s a story for another time haha.
So why… why was this man reacting like I’d tipped his mother’s ashes down the sink? Like he was somehow still entitled to me and the love I want to give and receive?
He stormed out of the room and disappeared for hours to sulk… I was confused. We weren’t together, it’s not my place to pry into his personal life and whatever’s got him upset… I guess I’ll let him go…
until I get a message from the nice man that read something like:
“Hey, uh I don’t want to start shit but I’m a little concerned… who is this guy and why is he liking my photos from years ago?”
… what.
The screenshots came in.
They didn’t know each other. I was their only mutual friend. I hadn’t mentioned this man by name. He doesn’t go by his legal name on the internet let alone his Instagram handle… How did he know who he was?
“I’m so sorry I’ll handle it”.
We duke it out. Not my best choice to do it infront of a giant glass window.
Our new years guests couldn’t hear what was happening but they sure could see…
I was in protective mode for a man I barely knew but why should this man be a victim of intensive cyber stalking for complimenting me? Why should his privacy be invaded like that because my ex couldn’t get his shit together and fumbled the bag?
None of that is this nice man’s fault.
Besides, WE WEREN’T EVEN TOGETHER. WHY DID IT MATTER SOMEONE ELSE WAS NICE TO ME.
More venom fell out.
“There’s been a line behind you waiting for an opportunity this entire time, you only held your place at the front because I left that place open for you”
Not my best work, but definitely a pivotal moment for my own self confidence because… there WAS a line. I AM desirable. I AM wanted. I CAN be loved and I don’t need to torture myself by staying with someone who can’t offer basic respect let alone something more.
I’ve got goals. I’ve got places I wanna be. I have achievements I wanna tick off and I don’t want to be held back anymore by an emotionally deficient fuck boy.
And I realised I can live my best life with my good Judy’s by my side, my girls by my side and my family by my side.
I mean it would be nice right to have someone love you and see you and love your kids unconditionally and have the same shared interests or goals… but I’m the master of my own destiny and fuck anyone that gets in the way of that.
Anyway, he flipped it.
So much so he did the unthinkable.
Now I understand being upset. I understand acting on impulse and I understand hitting someone where it hurts when they’ve wronged you if it’s deserved.
WHEN it’s deserved.
Over 10 years of knowing someone you come to learn quite a bit about them and what really gets them excited and in turn what really upsets them.
He absorbed my secrets, my fears and my insecurities just to weaponise them against me.
Cheating on me is one thing.
Lying to me is another.
Taking one of the worst parts of my life and making me relive it for your own entertainment and manipulation? NEW LEVEL OF FUCKERY UNLOCKED.
Over the next few days I started to receive some pretty nasty anonymous messages… some I posted to my story some I didn’t.
Most were targeted at me and my appearance, some were targeted at the man that was messaging me to spread rumour, some at my kids and some were targeted at my ex partner.
I’ve been the victim of a hate campaign before so these messages were admittedly quite triggering. They preyed on the most insidious thoughts that live in the back of my mind.
Who was this person? Why would they say these things to me? The only people sending me these messages are people I already know and I can’t imagine these people saying such awful things…
My mental health took a slight sidestep and I went full undercover operative.
I set up my own little investigation. No one was more surprised when it lead me to him.
No.. I must be wrong it couldn’t be…
Until it was with out a doubt confirmed when he stupidly dropped the nice man’s legal name in an anonymous message.
There were only 4 people who knew we were talking to each other let alone his name and I definitely didn’t send the message… neither did the nice man… my best friend certainly wouldn’t have done it so it left only one option.
I paid for premium access to the NGL app. Got the clues I needed about the sender of the messages and confronted him.
He lied.
He always does.
Even when confronted with the truth.
Tried to gaslight his way out of it. Again. But it wouldn’t work this time.
The proof was right in front of us. I had the very compelling evidence. It couldn’t be disputed.
After trying to lie for a 4th time he confessed it was true and he did send some of those nasty ass messages in an attempt to manipulate my self confidence, sow the seeds of deceit between the nice man and I so I wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore and to make me feel sorry for him for all the hate he was getting online.
Again, like a bull charging at a waving flag I saw RED.
“You have a month. Get out of my house. Never speak to me again.”
This was a new low. A real ugly point. I had never cheated on him. I’d never betrayed his trust. I’d never been intentionally mean like this.
Why…
W H Y .
I immediately unfriended him off what I could. What I couldn’t, I blocked.
We weren’t friends. We never truly were. Friends don’t hurt each other like that. Friends don’t do shit like that. That’s enemy behaviour.
Only someone who despises you would do those things, any of those things let alone all of those things over a prolonged period of time.
I didn’t think this could get any worse and yet there I was… publicly bullied by my ex on the internet for his own enjoyment.
It’s time. It’s time to tell everyone. My parents… my siblings… our wider network of friends… my girls.
My girls….
Sitting the girls down was tough… an activity I never want to do again.
A conversation I thought we would have with them together to tell them we couldn’t make it work and their stepdad would be leaving - the last little honourable thing he could do… apologise to them… be honest with them… love them… and let them go gently ended up with me in tears telling them on my own that everything had fallen apart and mum was sorry.
My best friend holding one daughter while I held the other. And we all cried.
My best friend was the one helping me to explain everything to our daughters and work through the complex emotions we were all feeling. Drying tears, answering questions and reminding them this isn’t their fault…
They were devastated. My eldest fumed and my youngest sobbed in pain… their first real heartbreaks.
I’m grateful for her everyday. I’m grateful for her kindness, her love and her support but this wasn’t heartbreak she had to endure. This wasn’t her responsibility to step in… it was his.
He aimlessly folded the same piece of washing and watched the conversation unfold.
He didn’t say a word.
If I had felt guilty before asking him to leave, putting my girls first or leaning into the nice man’s advances I definitely didn’t now.
… And I still don’t.
“2nd of Feb dude, you gotta be outta here. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have anywhere else I won’t put us all through this anymore you need to make your arrangements and your exit from stage left”
I’m in my healing era. My lover girl era. My ‘be a better friend’ era. My ‘be an excellent mum’ era. My stand up for myself era. My evolution era.
And I will not lie, romance has indeed found me along the way.
And I’m so okay with that.
It’s unconventional. It’s different. It’s kind and respectful. It’s considerate and tender. It’s FUN. it’s goofy and it’s pure…
I’m pretty sure it feels like it’s supposed to.
It’s not a fight to the death every day. It’s not a struggle. It’s not nights crying myself to sleep wondering where I went wrong (it was most nights that we were together… I won’t lie). It’s not toxic fights that have me worried about what’s going to be broken this time.
I don’t need to wonder if this man actually likes me, he makes sure I know.
It’s honest and supportive and REAL…
and it’s a steep learning curve.
I have a lot of unlearning to do and behaviours to quash to be a better version of myself… not just for myself but for everyone in my orbit but for the first time in a long time I’m excited for what happens next.
The next few months will be hard financially, emotionally and physically.
But I have a kick ass gang of friends, 2 amazing daughters who under the circumstances are thriving, a fantastic therapist (shout out gabz the big dawg) and someone I can invest all my extra love into and is more than happy to send it right back.
I’m going for surgery in a week, I have a plan in place to correct my health and I’m pushing myself to be the best possible version of myself not just for me or for them… but for you too, dear reader.
Given so much of my life was shared openly and then used against me to hurt me by people I trusted and loved I can’t say for certain this level of openness will remain.
Some aspects of my life will be kept just for me, my girls lives will still stay off the internet until they’re ready (occasional happy snaps and tidbits will still flow freely don’t worry about that), I’ll still share the cool shit I’m up to with work, the dumb shit my friends and I get amongst and life events with my new significant other will be shared when and if I find one.
But only if and when I want too.
And I won’t use social media to cover up my extreme unhappiness.
Not everything you see on the internet is real and I too have played a part in that.
Relationships are complex, no one has the perfect one and keeping up appearances only gives you more heartache than what it’s worth.
So if there’s any wisdom I can impart on you it’s this:
💜 You are more than your relationships.
💜 Fuck the haters, they’re gonna chat shit anyway you might as well give them something to talk about.
💜 You are precious and deserve to be protected and loved and to be happy.
💜 don’t settle because you’re expected to.
💜 You can cut parts of yourself down but no matter how far you trim you’ll never fit into the box you think you should be in.
If you don’t fit, get a bigger box.
💜 Nothing on the internet is real.
💜 Sometimes letting go is necessary to heal.
💜 Love will find you in the most unexpected of ways and in the most unexpected places.
💜 Listen to your friend that gets the weird vibes, they’re usually right.
💜 The NSW healthcare system both sucks and is excellent at the same time.
💜 Do what you want, it’s not too late to start over. You’re gonna die eventually… live the life you want.
💜 Live in the now and the future. The past is a place we can visit but you cannot live there.
💜 Just because you’re happy sometimes it doesn’t outweigh the heartache all the time.
💜 Don’t sacrifice yourself. For anyone.
💜 People will understand eventually.
💜 Just because you can do everything on your own doesn’t mean you have too
💜 You shouldn’t suffer in silence or alone.
💜 HABITUAL CHEATERS WON’T CHANGE
And thus ends a 10 year tale of a strong AF girlie who is owning a new, better phase of HER life.
She rescued herself from the damn tower, set her daughters free, reacquainted herself with her besties and picked up a cutie on the way out to get Starbucks.
I’m writing new pages in a book I thought I’d finished and I’m excited to see the life that’s out there waiting for me. I’m excited to reacquaint myself with myself again. I’m excited for new experiences, better relationships with everyone around me and not having to wear shoes inside to avoid the broken egg shells and bits of ego on the floor.
And him? Feeling sorry for himself I guess. Or not. I’m not sure and I don’t think I care to find out.
Maybe he’s realised what he’s lost, maybe he’s awake in the middle of the night languishing in pain, maybe he’s grieving or maybe he’s just fine and couldn’t care less.
Either way, my thoughts don’t live there anymore, they live with me.
“You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same cursing my name, wishing I stayed… You turned into your worst fears…
And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain and crossing out the good years… and you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed… Look at how my tears ricochet” - Taylor Swift
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Sing me a Lullaby (Part 2) Bokuto x Reader
A happy ending was promised, and a happy ending you shall receive.
The blue light of the screen burns your eyes, you want nothing more than to look away.
Sleep deprived, tired, emotional, and overworked, your brain barely forces itself to keep working.
Hating your job is not new to you, but it’s never happened this much in one week. Deciding that you’d need to disengage for a moment, you snagged your phone off the desk. Right now, a supervisor telling you to get off the thing would be a welcome distraction.
To your surprise, there’s a text message waiting for you, from Bokuto.
The two of you don’t usually interact outside of when one of you can’t sleep, and it’s been four days since the last call.
With wide eyes, you swiftly read the message.
I know you didn’t mean for me to hear you the other night, and honestly, I thought I was dreaming!
I tell you I love you every time you show up in my daydreams, I just never thought I’d hear my favourite person say it back! It took me forever to text you, but I couldn’t not, so here it is!
You’re amazing, all on your own, and if you can’t see it with your eyes, then I’m gonna show you with mine, but the first thing you gotta do, is something you love.’
You blinked, once, twice, wondering when you’d wake up and realise you’d just fallen asleep in your chair and the whole office was staring at you.
‘Excuse me, you know the office policy about phones!’ The snide voice of your floor manager snapped you out of your daydream, forcing you to look up at the world around you. No one looked up, no one objected to the system that made each and every one of you utterly replaceable.
‘Hello? You’ll be handing your phone in if you’re not careful, clerk!’
Clerk, not even your name, and taking your phone? You’re a grown adult.
Something inside you snapped, a mixture of rage and love, a strange combination for someone who usually keeps it all so bottled up.
‘Answer me!’
‘I... I quit.’
‘Come again?’
You looked up at your supervisor, and smiled, a beaming grin you haven’t worn since high school, tucking your phone in your jacket pocket close to your heart. ‘I quit! I quit and I’m never looking at your shitty face again!’
Just like that, you’d slammed all of your stuff into a single box, uncaring about all the so called rewards you’d earned in the company’s service.
Your supervisor tried to stop you, but you were practically dancing your way out of the building, the weight of the world lifted from you shoulders. The outside air felt like heaven, people looked at you like you’d grown a second head, prancing down the street in your suit without a care in the world.
You phone rang in your pocket, and you didn’t even look before answering it cheerfully.
‘Hello?’
‘Well hey songbird!’
Your heart sang, tears of joy welling in your eyes as you processed his words, glee seeping into your voice. ‘Bokuto!’
‘I guess you got my text! I wasn’t dreaming, was I?’
‘No, no you weren’t.’ You declared, gleefully marching toward your apartment. ‘I wanna come see you.’
‘Funny you should say that-’ that sheepish chuckle you always associated with the times he got up to no good made you think of the flushed cheeks that usually came with it ‘-when do you get off work?’
‘Uh, well...about that, I quit.’
‘Wait, what?!’
You flinched, for once, you’re the one grinning sheepishly. ‘I couldn’t take it any more.’
‘Finally! So, you’re going home, right?’
‘Riiight...why?’
Before he can say another word, the call cuts off, and you eye the screen suspiciously, but you’re at your door and you need your hand to get in.
Nerves have the hair at the back of your neck standing on end, and you’re mid-way through typing a curious text when the elevator doors open and you vaguely register the shape of a person in your hallway.
You lift your gaze, and immediately drop everything you were carrying, phone and all.
He has the audacity to smile at you, a big, beaming grin, stood with a rolling suitcase at his feet and dressed in sweats and a loose T-Shirt, like the most natural beauty in the world.
Hearing his voice call your first name without the filter of a phone’s speaker brings forward all the memories, all the nostalgia, all the fucking years worth of missing him.
You’re off at run, leaping into him and burying yourself in his arms without a care for the clutter you’ve just left in the hallway,
‘There you are!’ He giggles against your ear, lifting you off your feet in his delight. ‘I missed you so much, I love you so much!’
Pathetically whimpering past your tears, you can barely choke words past the lump in your throat.
‘I love you more.’
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Sixty Five. Part 2
Since I went to my parents’ house that day I haven’t been back really, I don’t want to be in an environment knowing something will kick off because he keeps making noise about me, I am just staying away because that is the best policy. According to Imani they have been staying there, I didn’t know that at all. I’m sure I wasn’t allowed to do that, oh well I guess I have my own home here, but Junior has been stuck with me, I wanted him to go home but he said no he can stay, he is half acting like he is the eldest here. I said to him I know you love your football people, and he is in the football so he will want to be there, but I guess dad may have said to him you have to stay which he didn’t need too; I mean I stay in London on my own most of the time but that’s my dad for you, protective of his kids. Aziel is asleep and Oakley should be here any moment, my dad is doing movie night at the house, and I want to decline but then it looks like I’m hiding, clearly my dad wants to get used to us having partners and he wants to spend time with us so I can’t fault him on that, but I know drama is there, I feel it so bad “yes!” I spat “who is it?” Junior got up from the couch like nobody should be coming “that’s my man, sit down” rushing over to the door, I know he is going to be tired. He had a fifteen hour flight with a stopover, he’s not going to want to know anybody, but he knows damn well I missed him. Dragging the door open, here he is with his backpack on like a little homeless man “don’t even want to talk about it” I grinned “lovey” running outside to him “I am so tired, I feel so weird right now” hugging him “I bet you do, well you’re here now. You can rest” he wrapped his arms around me “I missed you though, it’s worth it. I think I’ll be in a lighter mood once I nap” I love him so much “you being here makes it all better, I hope you know that” moving back from the hug “I can’t here for you, I know you bit at me for the work thing but it’s just a side thing, it won’t ruin a thing. It’s convenient” nodding my head, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked inside “Hi” Junior said looking “what’s good? You staying with us” Oakley asked him “yeah, dad said Rylee needed company so I’m here, but I don’t think she does now” Oakley laughed “nah you good, you stay here. I’m so tired, I need to sleep before I can function” I am so happy my man is back home, I just want to ride him and stay at home but then we have that movie night, they have done the cinema room up and it had loungers and new couches so we shall see, I mean I can’t say no really because it’s rude.
I gasped “Aziel, hey” walking around the counter, I swear I just saw him with a pacifier in hand “Aziel!” I spat, he held it up and ran off “where did you get that, don’t you dare run off, you come here right now!” I pointed to the ground in front of me, I threw all of these away “daddy” he’s going to wake him now, doing a little run to him as he ran towards Oakley asleep on the couch “no” I picked him up “daddy!” he spat “ssshhh, no. You not waking daddy up, leave him alone” walking off with him “now give mommy what you have” she shook his head “Aziel, don’t make me angry, give mommy what you have right now” he grinned at me “why are you being naughty, you know I don’t like it when you’re like this, give it me” making my way over to the kitchen “no” I hate the word no from his mouth, it makes me so fucking angry, placing him on the countertop “I am going to count to five and if you don’t give it me I am going to get mad and you don’t like it when mommy is mad so one!” he has such a cheeky smile on his face, this is making me mad too “two!” he better give it “three, four” Junior added laughing “Junior shut up!” now why did he have to do that, Aziel lifted the pacifier up to me “was it that hard?” I asked him, taking it from him “where did you even find this” I threw them all away “mommy” he opened his arms “ok” picking him up and placing him down “Junior, he is coming to you” I pointed, this child has been searching this whole house “when are we leaving?” Junior asked “erm, once he is awake. I mean soon, why? You desperate to go” he shrugged “not exactly, just asking. Can I actually stay here still?” he asked, “of course you can, you think I am going to kick you out?” I laughed “well your boyfriend is here so yeah” shaking my head “you’re my little brother, no” I pointed at him.
I can tell Oakley is still tired, but Aziel woke him so now he is awake, but he is tired from that travelling “does it not feel weird to be driving here?” he shook his head “it’s ok, I don’t mind it. I like driving anyways” Oakley asked to drive so I let him, I am not going to decline him even though I myself miss driving but he wants to be the man “so is like everyone there?” Oakley asked “erm, just like us siblings, when I say everyone I do not mean everyone, just my siblings and plus Taylan” Oakley nodded his head “cool, that is fine. So it’s just like a get together?” is he on this planet “I am sure we have been discussing this in the bedroom” he laughed “I am tired, I can’t even lie Rylee. I wanted to come back so I took that nasty trip, originally I wanted to go back to London have that rest like a day and then come but then I knew it, you miss me” looking over at him “oh don’t be playing me, don’t push this on me now. You literally kept calling to say you miss me” he is such a liar “ok but I did miss you, you know I do. It’s funny because you text me and you said oh I feel like you was in the bed with me, but you wasn’t? I swear you was” rolling my eyes “yeah shut up, then you said oh you having wet dreams about me. Be quiet” I huffed out “but you thought you was going crazy” he pointed “I did! But then you left your dirty boxers on my floor!” he snorted laughing “yeah I had my shorts, we got to sort out the home in London though. Just shit is busy, I hate like doing a new album, this is what happens, I end up having to do things. Like now, but it will settle. The video I did is ready, and I said look I want to have this break in LA, but then Ybeez said let’s use this, but it’s fine. We will still be spending time together” I eish he didn’t release an album “you think it’s hard trying to break the US audience?” I questioned “erm, I have a core fanbase, it is there. Not at the huge scale but it’s there. I think my team are setting up a like surprise gig here some shit, I haven’t read my email but they doing a surprise gig and the tickets for here, sold out, amazing?” I want to be mad with him, but I can’t, he is trying “I am proud of you, I see the love and power you have in Europe, I know you can do it here too, it’s there but like you said not at a large scale” I am proud of him.
Taking in a deep breath being back here, I mean we are slightly late coming, and I think everyone is here but us so it’s going to be all eyes on us, Junior ran inside but Oakley made his way over to me “he took his shoes off but before we go in, I wanted to say. You look handsome of course but” I laughed “don’t be alone with Taylan, something about him gives me bad vibes, I don’t want you to be in a room with him alone because he seems manipulative, I know you’re looking at me like that, but I am serious. Please don’t be alone with him, in my heart I feel something is off or something will happen, and I won’t have anyone do you wrong, I wanted to say that before, but I forgot” Oakley nodded his head “I don’t know the guy; we just go there being positive Lee, it’s fine. We good” he says that, but Taylan is a jerk “you still look tired, right come out you” picking Aziel out of the car “I am tired you know” he mumbled, closing the door. I would have thought Aziel would have ran off, but he didn’t, he held his dad’ hand and I liked he did that, he usually would leave me “welcome back” my dad said, my dad always has a soft spot for Oakley, it makes me laugh “yeah, yeah. What you saying” my dad hugged him “good to see you, you look well you know. It looks good on you” they moved back from the hug “what does?” Oakley asked “love” my dad just said it and Oakley laughed out and looked at me “yeah, yeah. Thank you” he didn’t deny it, I like that “I have seen you already” my dad smiled at me “come in, welcome and you” my dad pointed at Aziel, he let Oakley’ hand go and ran towards my mom “hi Oakley” she said to him “hey” Aziel actually went to my mom and wanted to be picked up by her “you missed me? Oh wow” she said hugging him “awww look at his little face” my mom hugged Oakley “welcome back” they both saying welcome back, they was just waiting for him to come back “thank you Robyn, Imani” I am just walking behind Oakley, I didn’t want to say what I said to him, but I just feel not good vibes and I don’t want him alone with that ape. Walking into the house and just seeing my sister and Taylan, this is fun. Taylan isn’t that tall, my dad and him are kind of the same height, he is just broad. Oakley is about six foot but the way Taylan is puffing his chest out I would like to punch him “hi” Oakley waved at Ti and it just hit me, she wanted him dead, she said a lot of shit about Oakley “infamous Oakley” Taylan said “you can call me Cench” Oakley ain’t want him to call him that “oh sure, I am Taylan” they both shook hands, I think that is cordial, placing my hand on his back “let’s go in” we don’t need to speak to them really, I just don’t like his vibe.
Passing Oakley a bottle of water before sitting down “that reminds me in the club, the bottle service” my dad said to him “oh don’t remind me, that was funny” my dad laughed “I rate you, just not drinking, like you good. You’re the go to person because you can take care of us” his love for water makes me laugh, he drinks water for everything, rarely drinks other things, I mean he does sometimes, but he just loves water, he is special “yeah, I know!” he spat, my dad shushed him. Tapping Oakley leg “how come you said call me Cench? What happened there?” I asked “because he came at me with that, like he didn’t even let me say my name so for that you call me Cench, it’s rude” Oakley shrugged “it’s courtesy to just be like hi and then say names, it’s just silly but true” he has a pointed “I wanted to ask, how you feeling? Like with everything?” Oakley looked behind me, so I looked, and he is looking at Ti but who cares “erm, I am ok. I think it’s not a day where I don’t think about him, it’s hard but I know him, and he would say why aren’t I living life. I mean I miss my family, I can’t lie” poking my lips out “it’s expected, and I don’t expect you to not care, you did a lot for them. Does it hurt you about your brother?” he nodded his head “yeah, I think I did a lot for him. And looking back I see that he never rode for me, like he did dumb shit, and it was always my fault. I think the last straw was them calling police on me, just making a bad name for me but it’s whatever I guess. I am just pushing through; I am here aren’t I. You could have saved this for pillow talk” he laughed out “well, it’s not sexy talk” holding his hand “so no” he laughed “yeah? Sexy talk? You mean you telling me what you seen and if you can do it” I snorted laughing “shut up!” he is so annoying “nah what was, that TikTok” eyeballing him “give it a rest, didn’t you Google it?” he shook his head “I said that, placing my hand over his mouth, I have had enough.
I am jealous of him, he can eat and not gain weight even though he was chubby as a teenager “you like my cooking?” my mom asked “it’s nice, I love rice” Oakley looked at me “just say it, please. You want too anyways” he is so mean “like you fucked up rice” my mom side eyed me “he is so annoying, whatever. Well he likes your cooking mom, happy?” she wants compliments “I am! I made this, me! Taylan” my mom asked, Oakley looked at me and I just looked at him, he laughed out “beautiful cooking, and so is the cook” rolling my eyes “just the flavouring, is this first time you having this? Oakley, I mean Cench” Taylan said, “in what way?” Oakley said to him “well Caribbean food?” he is taking the piss “who hasn’t?” Oakley retorted “are you actually black?” he said “I am mixed Guyanese and Irish” he laughed “I didn’t know, I thought you was white” rolling my eyes “Ti is, I mean was into white guys” Taylan laughed “sisters switched” looking at Taylan “ok” I just said, I am going to be good, I don’t care “I think to be honest you need too-” I was going to say shut the fuck up but Oakley placed his hand on my leg and squeezed it “leave it” I just added because everyone is so quiet, looking at Oakley and he moved his hand, he didn’t even look at me. I guess he just wants me to shut up not start a thing.
Robyn looked over at me and then I got up “shall us men, boys whatever. Go to the games room? Well it’s not a choice” I said, I want these boys away from the girls, I mean they are just holding on to them. Rylee looks like I just swore at her “don’t worry, they will be ok” Oakley laughed “coming” he got up, I don’t know why she is holding on like I’ll deport him “don’t worry, I won’t deport him too” Ti is doing the same, not my fault they got foreign men “we playing game?” Junior asked, placing my arm around him “we are son, you good at Rylee place?” I asked; he didn’t want to go but he can come back now she won’t be alone “I like it there, she spoils me” letting out an oh “that’s ok then, well you go and set up, we coming” looking behind me, Taylan is walking slowly “I’m not going to beat you up” Taylan laughed “no, no just you know. I don’t know, it’s a weird vibe” he chuckled “I understand, but I guess if you are both going to be in their lives, I have to move on. I have to accept it” walking into the games room “looks like you already know Cench, or Oakley?” He said “yeah, I do. He’s a friend” going over to the bar “but dating my daughter makes the vibe different so to me I need to make sure you both know, you play with my daughter then you going to have to deal with me but for now, we good” I laughed “of course, I expect that from you. I don’t drink” Taylan said “I’ll take the water” letting out an oh “another water drinker” Taylan laughed nervously “just not feeling a drink” he said, nodding my head “what’s good?” Oakley finally came “just come here to threaten you” I grinned “again!?” Oakley spat “talking about again, nah just thought get away from the women. They seem a little protective of you both, a little intense” I admitted “yeah, yeah” there is something off and I don’t know what it is “you an ex alcoholic, why don’t you drink?” Taylan asked him “personal choice, I don’t see the joy in it” Oakley shrugged “oh cool, your music is good. I heard it recently” just looking at them both, this is the thing. My daughters are stopping them from interacting, this is good “appreciate it” these girls are protective with them “I can’t lie I don’t know much about you, just your Tianna guy” Oakley laughed, that’s him all over he doesn’t pay attention to much “Rylee has probably told you how nasty I am, I know she has” Oakley shook his head “she hasn’t said a word to me” he either could be lying or telling the truth “shocked but ok, well I play football, I am glad I erm, I met Tianna at this age, I couldn’t see myself settling really if I was like seventeen or eighteen” Taylan said “I don’t think any guy is ready for that” I said, imagine settling at that age “childish too, girls are at that age but you know. I have the utmost respect for you Chris I came to you before anything, I said that to Ti” nodding my head “we all good here though, women are a pain” Taylan added laughing “so how old are you again?” Taylan asked Oakley “twenty nine” taking a sip of my drink seeing my daughter “what you doing here?” I asked Rylee “I need Oakley, come” she waved him over “alright” he is of course going to listen to her, and he did as he went with her, shaking my head.
Rubbing my chin “I don’t think he is coming back” I said to Taylan laughing “I don’t think he is either, she is protective of him I think anyways” he said “you don’t really know them, but it’s been a long journey for them and there has always been trouble with him being here, or around. It’s hard” I explained “but you accepted him? Your friend right?” he pointed “he’s family to me, he’s been through a lot of things, he did hurt me a lot and I hated that I hit him, but he fucked up you know, it’s just a long story so I am guess she is wary of where he is, I don’t know but she needs to get over it. But anyways, how is it with Tianna?” I might as well ask him “it’s amazing, yeah. I adore her, she is such a good cook, she looks after the house well, we have a dog now. But she is upset, I think erm, the whole Fenty business issue, I think she feels like Rihanna doesn’t respect her, she works so hard for her approval, but Rihanna rather look to Rylee, so it’s an issue. I told her to speak to her, to discuss things but she said she does want to leave” letting out an oh “well I mean if she is unhappy, she needs to speak up, I think Rylee being the eldest, she will always have that soft spot in our hearts” which is true “but you have Ti that does it right, that has got everything going for her and yet nobody is looking for her. She is with your friend and still she gets praises” squinting my eyes “what my other kids got going has nothing to do with you, Tianna is your only concern. If Ti has issues she needs to come to us, not you” he needs to pipe down “oh yeah of course” he backed down.
Wrapping my arm around Robyn, she snuggled into me as we watched the new release of a Marvel movie in our new movie room, it has these lounges that we can all just be laid out and have our own little space. Watching Rylee run by “Oakley fell asleep straight away” Robyn said laughing “look at her getting a blanket for him, so. I was left with Taylan, because Rylee came to Oakley, took him. And he started speaking on Fenty and how you mistreat Ti, the way he was speaking it was annoying, he was speaking how Rylee let us down and we praise her, and I said to him look my other kids have nothing to do with you so stop, I am calm Robyn. This is me being nice, I don’t want to you know cause some shit with him, if Ti is happy then I don’t want too, he backed off, but you need to speak to Ti, she is unhappy” Robyn’ mouth fell open, she is shocked “why is he speaking on Rylee that she disappointed us, that is Ti you know. She call her that, this is her words. So when should I bring it up? I don’t want it ruining Emi party so after?” nodding my head “do it after then but tell Ti at this point she has forgotten how she upset us, how she disappointed us. What you give these kids is nice of you, I mean you could easily say get jobs, it’s selfish of her to speak that way” Robyn is pissed off, I can tell “don’t speak anymore, I will end up saying something now” I will shut up now “after Emi birthday please” I don’t want no drama for that.
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You asked me a few questions so here I'm
1. You didn't said anything about living situation. I just asked my doubt on why JK and JM stopped living together.
2. Same
3. Namjoon mentioned in weverse he's going to see Jimin on the day it was announced they will be going to white house. It was night time so obviously both of them were at their own Apts. And no mention of JK. I think he mentioned about going to see Jimin at some other point also. Well minimoni have Apts on same complex so it's natural for them to meet up often 🤷♀️.
4. Ofcourse no, I'm not dumb. But either he could've said I'm going to meet members or just don't say it. But he stressed that he's GOING TO MEET JIMIN NOW.
5. I think exempt some Jkkrs everyone already knows Jimin lives nineone hannam. Again minimoni 90% times travel together now. Also we all heard about Jimin's apt seizure news few months back so it's not like that apt doesn't exist lol.
6. It may/maynot be his apt. RM shares pics from different corners of inside his apt which many karmy confirmed its nineone. So JK doing vlive inside a well protected luxurious private apt and only showing a single kitchen slab is not something surprising lol. It has every chance to be the place he lives.
7. What part of that 'house' was empty. We only show a single area, he kept it same frame throughout. Also if you watch the house tour of that apt those wall of kitchen are actually doors which can be opened to storage spaces and pantry rooms. He just closed it, which for us, looked like walls and seemed so plane. Or are you saying it was someone else's apt and JK was just casually washing dishes there at midnight ?
Also that place is in gagnam JK have been recently spotted in Gagnam always. Also that restaurant he's going continously now is also in Gagnam- well nearby where he lives 🤷♀️.
8. As I told, except some jkkrs everyone else got enough clues to know Jikook no longer live together. Some jkkrs, who even you you maybe following, who was so sure of them living together recently changed their opinion to 'no they don't live together, but can be nearby places' - much better lol. I think you also know it but just not saying it in blog that they don't live together m.
9. In my knowledge this is a blog and if I have a doubt and there's this blogger who posts about a specific topic I.e jkk.. there's facility to ask them. I just did lt Simple.
10. Same, I'm also a jkkr and I got a doubt and I asked a veteran jikooker.
Ok so I answerd all you 10 questions clearly. So I hope you will also answer mine.
Why do you think Jikook stopped living together. For sure they did until 2020 ending.
Finally! I was about to get disappointed, lol Link
3,4,5 I remember exactly how and when that minimoni thing happened, and as you mentioned, it happened more than once. I don't know how much you know about media policies, but as someone who has been into advertisement and broadcasting for some time, I might know one or two things about it. Thanks to media headlines in the middle of 2021 (plus the seizure thingy in early 2022) most people know about Jimin and Namjoon buying apartments in the Nine-one complex, no one denies the apartment exists, lol. And they assume they are neighbors, which is technically true.
For a simple-minded person "visiting the members" might sound like an option Namjoon could state on Social Media, but he is an expert. You tell me; When it's midnight, how is he supposed to visit "members"? Wouldn't it raise questions like "which members?" "Where?" "Why?" "Do they work 24/7?" "Is there an issue going on with the members"?! So "Jimin" is the only option because "minimoni being neighbors" is public knowledge now, and it raises zero questions and complications. Of course, I'm not saying Jimin doesn't live in Nine-one, because we don't portray the members as liars in this house. He might use that place occasionally, and he was there the night Namjoon mentioned visiting him. But it seems you have forgotten that people can move from one place to another. They can have stuff in one house and sleep in another one. They can have their work studio in one residence, but they chill in another. BTS members are worldwide idols with big and complicated lives, why your point of view on their lives is so limited? Just one or two nights doesn't declare the whole situation of their living.
And the "minimoni 90% times travel together now" sounds hilarious because the times we have seen them traveling from/to their homes since Jimin bought Nine-One doesn't even reach number 10, lol. I haven't counted, but maybe five or six times with Namjoon and twice with JK is all we have witnessed, and I don't know where your %90 comes from.
6,7,8 The same K-Army who confirmed Namjoon's Nine-One also have said other stuff about seeing JK and Jimin around that Hannam area, but of course, we only accept K-Army validation when it suits our narratives, right? lol. Fortunately, we don't need K-army all the time, sometimes common sense can help too, like, why he didn't have kitchenware in his home? Why it was so cold that he wasn't feeling comfortable? This doesn't sound much like a "home" to me, but him living or not living there doesn't change anything in my point. I never said I know where Jimin or JK live. They don't want us to know, and I respect that. Unlike the other members, they don't give away anything from their residence. No one knows where they live, not me, not you and that's a fact, but you can't accept it. You overlook obvious things and focus on irrelevant ones to make the narratives you want.
LOL No. I'm not like the insecure folks you follow. I hate hypocrisy and deceiving the people. What I write and say is the exact thing I believe (in fact, I tone it down a bit to not to be called delusional, lol) If I had thought for a second that Jikook is not real, I would deactivate this blog. It's not a huge deal for me and I can live without it, I'm not gaining anything from this, but I will never speak against my will, knowledge, and beliefs. All I know is they are a couple, and they live together like any other celebrity couple in the world.
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˚ · . @laslow asked:
He has made many vows over his lifetime. Vows to protect, to love, to keep smiling despite the circumstances. Some he's failed to uphold--like always being by her side.
After properly berating himself for not even leaving behind a rose in farewell, Laslow swore he'd never again disappear without a trace.
Knuckles rap gently on her door. There was a time when he'd barge in, their unspoken open door policy carrying over into adulthood, but he's not quite sure if they've reached that point in their rekindled friendship yet.
"Hel-lo, Luci!" He greets once she appears. Signature smile is firmly in place, though there's a tightness at the corners. "Seems we're shipping out in the morning, eh? I wonder what we'll encounter this time."
He begins to play with an earring. It sounds so silly, now that he thinks about it. They're going to the same town, after all, and the chances their paths will cross are incredibly high. Still, he's been through enough of these things to know they go south almost the moment they arrive.
"Just...be careful. Please. Don't do anything reckless when I can't watch your back." The smile flickers. "Heh, listen to me, getting all sentimental!"
He interrupts nothing more than her footfalls as she paces. Anxiety has a bitter hold on her own heart -- it always has -- but perhaps more than usual this time. For all that the past has carved an image for her to fill, so too has it forced her hand in betraying it.
So it is a relief to see his face, even when she recognizes the strain in its margins, her own fears reflected in the way he moves. She is silent as he speaks, and still for a moment after.
And then she is folding him into a hug. There is no awkwardness, no lingering tension -- nothing but her chin on his shoulder and her eyes squeezed shut.
“I’ll be fine,” her voice is quiet but she doesn’t move, “I always am.”
When they do part, she rests a hand still on his shoulder. “I expect no recklessness on your end either. Be safe, please. I cannot return without you.”
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BANGKOK (AP) — California Gov. Gavin Newsom had a surprise meeting with Chinese leader Xi Jinping in Beijing on Wednesday after being warmly welcomed by other senior leaders in a display of friendliness that stands in sharp contrast to the dialogue between the United States and China in recent years.The governor is on a weeklong tour of China, where he plans to push for climate cooperation. Newsom's trip as governor, once considered routine, is drawing attention as it comes after years of heightening tensions between the U.S. and China.“I’m here in expectation, as you suggest, of turning the page, of renewing our friendship and reengaging (on) foundational and fundamental issues that will determine our collective faith in the future,” Newsom said in brief opening remarks ahead of his meeting with Wang Yi, China's top diplomat, earlier in the day.Though Newsom was in China to promote cooperation in curbing climate change, Chinese officials took the opportunity in welcome speeches ahead of the closed-door meetings to talk about U.S.-China relations. Wang is preparing to visit the U.S. on Thursday.Newsom and Xi discussed ways to “accelerate our progress on climate in meaningful and substantive ways,” the California governor said at a news conference, but did not mention more specifics.They also talked about fentanyl, a synthetic drug and leading killer of young people in the U.S., and China’s role in combating the transnational shipping of precursor chemicals, Newsom said.According to China's state broadcaster CCTV, Xi told Newsom: “I hope your visit will enhance mutual understanding between the two sides and play a positive role in expanding cooperation between China and California and promoting the healthy and stable development of Sino-U.S. relations."Xi may attend the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in San Francisco next month and meet with U.S. President Joe Biden, although China has not formally confirmed his attendance.Newsom is visiting Hong Kong, Beijing, Shanghai and the provinces of Guangdong and Jiangsu. At a speech at Hong Kong University on Monday, he promised to continue to cooperate on climate change regardless of the outcome of the next U.S. presidential election.He said he raised human rights issues with Wang and the two also discussed Taiwan, a red-line issue for Beijing. China claims the self-ruled island as part of its own territory.“I expressed my support for the One-China policy ... as well as our desire not to see independence,” Newsom said, referring to the official U.S. policy that recognizes the Communist Party as the ruling government of China. Officially, the U.S. does not recognize Taiwan but is its biggest unofficial ally.Wang, the head of the Communist Party’s office of foreign affairs, said he knows Newsom's trip attracted plenty of critics but that he views the trip positively.“But I think time and facts will certainly prove that your visit to China is in line with California people’s wishes and in line with the American people’s interests and the expectations of the global society.”Newsom also met Wednesday with Vice President Han Zheng, who greeted him with a wide smile and called him an “old friend.” Han is a past member of the Politburo Standing Committee, an elite group of leaders within the party.“The China-U.S. relationship is the most important bilateral relationship in the world, and the sub-national cooperation is an indispensable part to facilitate the sound and steady growth of China-U.S. relations," Han said. “I’m sure your weeklong trip will inject positive energy to the development of the China-U.S. relationship.”The governor met as well with the head of China's National Development and Reform Commission, a Cabinet-level agency responsible for economic policies. They signed a memorandum on deepening cooperation in environmental issues.Governors of California, which has an economy larger than most countries, have a long history of climate collaboration with China. Democrat Jerry
Brown and Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger also traveled to China to swap knowledge on reducing air pollution and emissions.Since leaving office, Brown launched the California-China Climate Institute at the University of California, Berkeley.
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James really wanted to talk to Sirius, to feel some sort of normalcy after leaving home and getting arrested, to know his brother was okay and to try to talk about the things he hid from Lily for fear that she was carrying to much on her own. However, he was greeted with anger. Something he had expected, but Sirius’ anger was greater than he expected, making him part was for the night, he didn’t need to have another nasty memory from that place.
However, he didn’t wait that long to go visit his mate. He ran over to Sirius’ flat and knocked on the door, hoping to have more clarity about the situation.
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Suddenly it seemed that the visits to their home had increased to tease at how often they had socialised before the war really got to them; Regulus had come around more than once, and now there was another knock on the door. Wary as usual when Sirius didn’t expect company, fingers curled around his wand as he made his way to the door. Sirius had put the protection charms of Orion’s that he had figured out, and it was an ongoing project of his to imitate every single one of his father had placed on their family home.
Peaking through the peephole, Sirius relaxed in the notion that it was only Prongs. It was a sight that swelled his heart. He had been worried when his best mate had been taken into custody by the Ministry. The Ministry kept showing itself to be on the wrong side, and Merlin knew what could have happened to James if he hadn’t been released.
Sirius didn’t want to think about it.
“Prongs,” Sirius greeted as he opened the door in welcome. Fuck, what would he do without him? He knew that his fear of losing him had manifested in anger, both towards Lily and James. Sirius knew James enough to know he wanted to talk about that. Always the bloke the most connected to his feelings, James, and able to speak about them, in contrast to him and Remus. Sirius resisted the urge to wrap James into a tight hug and stepped inside to allow James to enter their home.
“Has something happened?” Sirius questioned instead, as James had clearly run to his door instead of arriving by other means.
_________________________
“Padfoot.” he greeted awkwardly as he entered the flat, he knew that he was welcomed and that he didn’t need to knock, but they left things less than great last time so he wanted to be sure he wasn’t overstepping.
“Nothing, you told me to fuck off last time, so I thought that maybe I should use the door now.” he admitted as he felt uncomfortable in Sirius’ place for the first time in his life. They had always have an open door policy, to talk about everything, however, this felt terrible, it felt like something had gone wrong and James didn’t understand what.
“So… what did I do?” it had to be him, right? The same way he didn’t see Peter slipping off, or that Remus was suffering more than he claim to, or that Lily was so worried about Harrys’ safety all the time, there was something James was always letting slip and he couldn’t let Sirius to be one of those things, he was trying so hard to recover from the others that he needed for one to get back to place, just one.
_________________________
“Oh.” It seemed Sirius had forgotten all about that, or at the least that it was over and done with. That was always what was so freeing with James, that emotions and arguments never lingered, festering into resentment, like he was used to back at home. It had bewildered Sirius the first time they had properly fought and then everything was alright again. And now, James looked lost and broken and Sirius’ gut twisted by the thought that he was part of what had provoked those feelings in his best mate. James, that Sirius knew perfectly well was more than his energized upbeat persona, but he always hurt with James when he showed the act away.
“You scared me, that’s what you did,” Sirius responded, voice thick in his throat. Technically Sirius knew it wasn’t James that had willingly jumped into the holding cell to be locked away, but still. The absence of James had scared Sirius, having to face what life without him would mean. He’d be missing his other half. And if he pushed away from the selfishness, Lily would be without her husband, Harry without his dad. And that would mean so many other things for their family.
Remus being away Sirius was used to. It didn’t make it easier; it didn’t stop him worrying and fearing that he would never return to him, either. But James - James had always been there. He’d never really had to navigate a life where James wasn’t by his side. Brief summer months at the most, but then they had had their mirrors, at the very least.
“And I was scared for you. I felt –” Sirius paused momentarily, still uncomfortable at times to voice his actual feelings. Usually, it was dangerous to do so, but James was a champion of talking and sharing. “I just – I hated it. Missing you. Not having you around. And it scares me, James.”
_________________________
After Peter things didn’t seem so simple, James didn’t trust his instincts as he used to and now he didn’t trust that whatever Sirius needed to yell at him would just go away. They knew each other better than anyone else, but James wasn’t trusting his gut any longer.
“Yeah, that.” he looked at Sirius as he spoke, he knew that his brother would have missed him, but he didn’t know the extent of how much. Sirius had Remus and Lily to support him, even Euphemia, at least while James was in jail, James knew Sirius wasn’t alone but it felt like Sirius was more upset than James would’ve ever imagined. “I was scared too, but I knew you and Lily had each other.” he admitted, letting him know that he wasn’t alone, that he had family even when he wasn’t around.
“It scares me too, Sirius, I…” he tried to put into words what he had felt alone in that cell with dementors surrounding him, but he couldn’t, all he could do was run his hand through his hair, messing it up even more, trying to calm his nerves. “I thought we were all made, when Marlene came by it was just… too much, and when I came back, you weren’t there, you were with Remus or ignoring me and I just tried to talk to you and you told me to fuck up, Sirius.” he wasn’t blaming Sirius for being upset, he just needed the comfort of the familiarity of home, of the one person that he could talk freely too. He felt like he couldn’t even think around the Dementors without them reading his thoughts, feeling the edge of the comfort thoughts he had while he waited for more questions from the Ministry.
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Open Door Policy - One Shot
a/n: so, I love a good professor!harry fic, but I don’t always love when he gets involved with a student, so y/n is his TA. He’s 26, and she’s 23, so not too weird, right? Anyways, this took me a few days to write, and I didn’t mean for it to be this long, but here we are. This is a slow burn fam, like...buckle up. Reblogs are always very kind and helpful! Not proofread.
Warnings: angst, fluff, and smut!
Words: 21.5K
It was Y/N’s second year in grad school. She knew how to handle her workload on top of still making time for fun. She was still able to go out to the bar, and party with her friends. However, she was serious about her research. She had a “big girl” apartment that she shared with two friends, each having their own room. Grad school was expensive, and even though she had a decent job working at the local café, it wasn’t enough to cover her bills. Luckily, she got a grant to be TA this semester, which was perfect because she was interested in teaching at a collegiate level at some point. Her excitement dwindled slightly when she got the email about what professor she’d be paired up with.
“Who is it?” Nessa asks, plopping down on the couch with her.
“Dr. Styles.” Y/N groans.
“Tell me, why is that a problem?” Charlotte asks, coming over with a bowl of popcorn so they could start their movie night. “He’s so fucking hot.”
“Exactly! How am I supposed to concentrate?! I had him my senior year for an elective and it was awful. I was flustered all the time. He’s such a nice guy too, I missed a class where we had a test and he let me make it up, no questions asked.”
“Great, so he’s a good professor to learn from.” Nessa says. “Oh, maybe you’ll get a closer look at some of his tattoos.”
“There’s nothing to be nervous about, Y/N, he’s only a few years older than us, you know?” Charlotte shrugs. “Maybe you’ll fall in love.” She teases her.
“Mhm, yeah, because I’m sure a guy who has his PhD in Computer Science is just dying to go out with a girl who’s only a TA so she can afford her last year of school.”
“What class are you even helping him with? You’re not specializing in CS.” Nessa says.
“Apparently it’s for the section of Web Expressions he teaches, that was the class I took with him. It was really easy, you just learn the basics of HTML and then build your own website.”
“Did you just say that was easy?” Nessa scoffs.
“My older sister ended up helping me a lot because she had a myspace back in the day, I guess you needed HTML for that.” Y/N shrugs. “It’ll be a good experience for me.”
“Okay, but you’re just specializing in Curriculum and Instruction, so-“
“Yeah, that involves Instructional Design, so I know about this stuff. I’m just not looking forward to doing it with him.” She sighs.
“Could be worse.” Charlotte smirks. “You could have gotten with some old fart who would let you flounder.”
“Very true.” She closes her laptop and sets it on the coffee table. “Alright, let’s get this HSM party started.”
//
A week later Y/N received an email from Dr. Styles to meet with her so they could discuss the class and make sure they were on the same page about the syllabus. She was a nervous wreck. Y/N used to avoid his office like the plague, too afraid to be alone with him. It’s not that Dr. Styles was a creep or ever put off any inappropriate vibes, he just had this sort of intimidating stare to him. Even when he’d laugh, seeing him soften was intimidating. The sound of his deep, raspy voice was almost a little too soothing, and she was obsessed with his sense of style. His nails were always painted different colors, and he had the cutest pair of round glasses that would sit on the tip of his nose.
Even though it was August, and still very hot out, Y/N wanted to make a good, professional impression. So, she decides on a pair of white slacks that have a tie in the front, a white tank top tucked in, and a navy blue three-quarter sleeve blazer. It was too humid to leave her hair down, so she puts it up in a cute, messy bun. She puts on a little makeup, grabs her laptop bag, and out the door she goes. She puts her sunglasses on immediately, almost getting blinded by the blazing sun.
She had never been in an academic building at this point in the summer. There were a few faculty puttering around, getting their offices situated for the semester. She smiles at a few of them as she takes her sunglasses off. She heads up to the third story where Dr. Styles’ office was. There was no a/c in this building, but luckily the room they’d be teaching in would have it due to all the computers.
His door was open, and she nearly walked right by him. She back peddles and already feels weak kneed. He had his glasses on, pushed closer to his face than usual, a small fan on his desk blowing the hair that wasn’t in the little sprout on the top of his head back, and he was wearing a white t-shirt.
“Um, Dr. Styles?” She nervously taps on the outside of the doorframe. He looks up from his computer and smiles.
“Miss Y/L/N?”
“Yes.” She smiles back at him.
“Come on in, have a seat.”
It was the accent, that fucking British accent that she remembered was the most distracting part about him. He had this drawl to his voice that was irresistible.
“Do you want me to, um…” She points to the door.
“No, no, too bloody hot to have that thing closed. The little window I get barely opens so I only have this fan to really keep me cool.” He frowns slightly at her appearance. “Why’d you get so dressed up? You must be sweltering.”
“I’m okay!” She blushes, and takes the seat in front of his desk. “I just…you know, wanted to look nice.” His eyebrows raise slightly. “I mean, like, not nice, but professional.”
“Well, don’t feel like you need to be dressed up like this all the time. I want you to be comfortable. You don’t see me all dressed up.” He smirks.
“You’re a tenure-track faculty, you can do whatever you want.”
“Not true.” He leans forward and rests his chin on his palm. “I can’t call a student an absolute moron when they ask me a stupid question.”
“I thought there were no stupid questions.” She smiles.
“God, there’s tons.” He scoffs and sits up straighter. “But we have to encourage students to speak up when they’re confused, so.” He shrugs. “Anyways, let’s look at the course, yeah?”
“Okay.” She takes her laptop out and sets it on his desk, scooting closer.
“I added you to the moodle page, so you should have full access to everything. You’ll be grading a bit, so I wanted to make sure you knew how to get in there.”
Once Y/N logs in, and clicks into the course, she smirks.
“What?”
“Looks at the exact same.”
“What do you mean?”
“I actually, uh, took this class with you a couple of years ago.” She furrows her brows at the page. “You know, you should really update this, it’s lazy to use the same design year after year.” She sort of says it without thinking and then feels embarrassed when she looks back up to meet his intimidating gaze.
“Interesting, usually I’m good with names…yours doesn’t ring a bell at all.” He looks at his own computer and crosses his arms. “And it’s not that I’m lazy, I don’t have a lot of control over the physical design. The assignments are much different, those I keep fresh.” He turns to look at her again. “I also teach eighteen credits worth of courses, I don’t exactly have time to sit and revamp all of them.”
“Well, maybe I could do that. I’ve taken a lot of Instructional Design courses.” She says brightly. “Studies show that students do better when their course pages are more inviting.”
“Alright, since you’re the expert, I’ll let you take the lead on that. Can we get back to the material itself? I have to make sure you know what you’re doing.” He squints at her. “You really took this class?”
“Yes.”
“And I was your professor?”
“Yes, Dr. Styles.”
He plucks his fingers over his lips.
“I feel bad for not remembering you.”
“It’s okay, I sort of kept to myself. You late me retake a test that I missed once, though.”
“Oh!” He snaps his fingers. “You missed class because you had a bad stomach bug.”
“Yeah.” She blushes.
“Poor thing, those are the worst when you don’t have mum around to help take care of you.”
“It’s alright, I recovered.”
“Clearly.” He smiles.
They spend the next hour or so going over the course and the materials. He tells her what he’ll need from her specifically. He’ll do most of the teaching, and she’ll bebop around helping students with questions. Oh, and grading, she’ll be helping with a lot of grading. He notices her wipe some sweat from her brow, and he frowns.
“Do you want a water? I have some in the fridge.”
“That would be great, thank you.”
He wheels over to his mini fridge and tosses her a water bottle. As she takes a sip, she notices him still looking at her.
“You can take that off, you know?”
“What?”
“Your blazer.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m, uh, only wearing a tank top underneath and I wouldn’t feel comfortable being so…exposed.”
“Oh!” He blushes. “I’m sorry, I hope my comment didn’t-“
“It’s fine.”
“I just hope you know I wasn’t trying to-“
“I didn’t.” She clears her throat. “So, I have full reigns to redesign some things?”
“Sure.” He shrugs. “Just as long as I can still navigate it.”
“Isn’t your PhD in Computer Science? You should be fine.” She closes her laptop and sticks it in her bag.
“Right…” He pulls his calendar up on his computer. “What’s your class schedule like?”
“With this one, I only have one other class that’s in person, the rest are online.”
“Perfect, then it should be easy to build in some office hours for you. We’ll have to share mine, I hope that’s alright. Not every TA gets their own office, but there’s plenty of room in here for two. This office actually used to have to people in it, I’m having a small desk brought in for you.”
“Oh, um, thanks. I also work a lot at the café down town, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“You work at Bento’s?”
“Yeah.”
“I go there all the time, how have I not seen you?”
“I work in the back as a baker.”
“Oh cool, I actually worked in a bakery when I was younger.”
“I know.” She rolls her eyes. “You used to mention it all the time in class.”
“I did?”
“Yes.” She chuckles. “You made it sound like so much fun it’s actually what made me apply to Bento’s in the first place.”
“Ah, well, glad I could help.”
They decide on the office hours that will work best, and then he dismisses her. Just as she’s about to leave, he says her name.
“Yeah?”
“When it’s just us feel free to call me Harry. You and I don’t need to be so formal, alright?”
“Okay.” She smiles. “See you next week.”
The second she gets outside the building, she rips her blazer off. She gets back to her apartment as quickly as possible, changes into a bathing suit, and gets in the pool outside. Charlotte and Nessa were already out there, sitting on chairs in the shade. Y/N gets out and towels off, sitting down with them.
“Needed to cool off after your time with Dr. Styles, huh?” Charlotte winks at her.
“Shut up.” Y/N nudges her friend. “It was so fucking hot in his office. I know it’ll cool down eventually, and I was also way overdressed. He only had a t-shirt and jeans on.”
“Did he remember you?” Nessa asks.
“Not at first, but of course he remembered the reason I missed class was because I had a stomach bug, how embarrassing.”
“Why is that embarrassing?” Charlotte asks.
“I don’t want him to think about me being all…icky.”
“Do you seriously still have a crush on him?” Nessa asks.
“It’s not a crush, he’s just insanely attractive. He looked so cute being all casual today.” She whines. “It doesn’t matter, he’s twenty-six and probably has a girlfriend or something, how could he not?”
“I don’t know, I wouldn’t wanna date a guy smarter than me. He probably man-splains all the time.” Charlotte says. “I bet he’s good for a quick fuck, and that’s about it.”
“I guess Y/N will find out.” Nessa giggles.
“You two are the worst.” She groans.
//
“Hey, Y/N!”
Y/N was in the back at Bento’s getting some bread proofed and ready for the morning crew. One of her coworkers was calling for her.
“Yeah?”
“There’s some guy out front asking for you?”
“What?” She wipes her hands on her apron and walks out front. She freezes when she sees Harry. She had a hairnet on, her face was laced with sweat, and she smelled like bread, which you would think would smell good, but it doesn’t. It had been a couple of days since their meeting.
“Sorry, had to see it for myself.” He smirks.
“See what, Dr. Styles?” She walks around the counter to speak with him.
“Harry.” He corrects her. “See you in action, of course.” He takes a sip from his drink. “I see you’ve already made some changes to the course.”
“Yeah, uh, it was pretty easy.”
“Well, it looks fantastic. I was going to email you, but I was stopping in here and I thought I’d see if you were working so I could just tell you in person.”
“Oh.” She blushes. “Thank you, that means a lot.”
“Well, I’ll let you get back to it. Don’t wanna get you in trouble.” He waves as he leaves, and she stands there stunned.
“Who the fuck was that?” Her coworker asks.
“Um, I’m his TA this semester. He wanted to tell me I did a good job on something.”
“Oh, shit.”
“What?”
“He’s gonna fuck you.”
“Stop!” She swats her hand at them. “Go take drink orders, I’m going back to the proofer.”
Harry was just being nice, and maybe he was looking for a good laugh. She shakes the thought from her head, he didn’t want to fuck her. He was way more professional than that.
//
On her first day as a TA, she decided on a pair of jean capris, and a light blouse. She left her hair down since it wasn’t humid. She felt more like herself, which was good. She goes to her now shared office with Harry first, just to drop her things off.
“Good morning.” She says shyly as she comes in. The small desk he had brought in for her was there, and there was a small plant waiting for her on it.
“Morning, Y/N, are you excited?”
“More so nervous, but yeah. What’s this?” She points to the plant.
“Got you a little something for your desk. It’s really easy to take care of, should only need water once a week.”
“Oh, thank you.” She tucks some hair behind her ear and sits down.
“Since it’s syllabus week, today will be really easy. We’ll go over a few things and then I’ll probably let them go early.”
“Alright.”
“I’ll give you a couple of minutes to introduce yourself too.”
“Okay.”
“Do you have a water bottle with you or anything?”
“Yeah, right here.” She takes it out of her bag.
“Great, a little trick I learned when I first started teaching is that sometimes you can end up answering a question you ask the students because you’re so nervous when no one answers right away. So, if you take a moment to take a sip of your water it gives them more time to speak up.”
“Thanks, that’s a really good tip.”
“You’ll do great.” He looks down at his watch. “Come on, we should head to the classroom, make sure all the computers are working.”
Y/N nods and follows him out. Her eyes drift down to how his butt looks in his khakis. He had a simple green t-shirt tucked into them. He was effortlessly handsome. The cool of the a/c in the computer lab helps snap her out of ogling. After they check the rows of computers, only one wasn’t working, so Y/N takes a DO NOT USE sign onto it.
“Brilliant.” He says to her.
Students start trickling in, and choosing their seats. The class was mostly boys, and only a couple of girls. Unfortunately, that was typical for courses like this, even if it was just a gen ed that literally anyone could take.
“Morning everyone, I’m Dr. Styles, and I’d prefer you call me that. I worked a long time to be called that, so please don’t call me by my first name. You can call me professor, though, if you feel comfortable.” He smiles at the class. “We’re very lucky this semester, I have a TA that will be able to help you with assignments.” He gestures to Y/N.”
“Hi, yeah, my name’s Y/N, you can feel free to just call me that. Um, I’m in my second year of grad school. I’m studying curriculum and instructional design. I’m excited to be with you all this semester.”
Y/N takes a seat to the side of the room while Harry pulls up the course and the syllabus on the projector.
“Now, who here is a CS major?” Most of the class raises their hand. “Right, try branching out for your gen eds, your eyes will bleed if you don’t.” He jokes. “What about those of you who aren’t CS, just shout it out.”
“Communication.”
“Undecided.”
“IT.”
“Psychology.”
“Wonderful, glad we’ll have a little bit of variety. Y/N redesigned this class, so I’m hoping you’ll appreciate what she’s done to make things easier for you.”
Y/N takes attendance, and then sits back down so Harry can go over the syllabus and explain some of the more intricate assignments. He also explains his door is always open for anyone that needs extra help. He wanted to make a good impression since he knew some of the students would end up in some of his higher level courses.
“Please take some time to go over some of the basic codes and short cuts we’ll be using quite a bit. For our next class we’re going to work on a site together, alright?” There’s a hum of agreement throughout the class. “Great, and just so you know, Y/N will be doing the majority of the grading, so it’s not my good side you’ll want to be on, it’s hers.” He grins. “Alright, you’re all dismissed, enjoy the nice weather.”
Everyone files out, and Y/N takes a deep breath. She walks with Harry down to his office and she plops down in her seat.
“Seems like it’ll be a good group.” He opens one of his drawers. “Here, forgot to give you a key. You can come here whenever you want, feel free to do your homework if there’s nothing to be graded.”
“Thanks.” She takes it from him and puts it on her key ring. “It’ll be nice to have a quiet space, actually. One of my roommates is getting her master’s in theater education, and my other roommate is getting her master’s in music education, so it gets kind loud from time to time.”
“Then definitely come here anytime you like.” He smiles and sits in his chair.
“When does your next class start?”
“I’ve got about an hour or so before I need to go back to the computer lab for my computing fundamentals class. I teach two sections of that back to back. Then that’s it for today.”
“Does it get annoying to teach the same class back to back?”
“Not really.” He shrugs. “I’m used to it by now anyways.”
“Dr. Styles?” A female student taps on the outside of the door. “How was your su…oh, you’re in here with someone.” She frowns.
“I sure am, Melanie.” Harry seems to look a little nervous. “I’ll be rather busy today, but we can catch up soon, alright?”
“Oh, okay.” She glares at Y/N before leaving. Harry sighs heavily once she’s gone.
“That’s one of my frequent flyers.” He rolls his eyes. “Her and a couple other girls try to come by and chat…” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m actually kind of glad you’ll be around, I’ve seen her fly out of here so fast.”
“Does she…have a crush on you or something?”
“I’m afraid so.” Harry sighs. “It’s partly why I keep my door open when I meet with students. I used to keep it closed to have some privacy, cause sometimes there’s personal things students want to talk about, but she came in last year…I don’t know, I just keep my door open now.”
“That sucks.” She turns to her laptop to start getting some work done. “Such is the life of the hot, young professor, unfortunately.” Once again, Y/N said something without really thinking about it. She really needs to work on a filter. When she turns around to look at him to apologize, he was looking at her, face flushed. “I’m sorry, I just meant-“
“I have some emails to catch up on, so I’m gonna put by earbuds in and just focus on that.”
Y/N nods and turns back to her computer. She sighs heavily. The last thing she wanted to do was make the poor guy feel more tense than he already did. It must be painfully awkward to have students throwing themselves at you all the time, and what’s worse is that he feels so uncomfortable that he feels like he can’t even close his door. Y/N wanted to know what exactly Melanie did. It couldn’t have been so bad because she was still coming by to see him. Maybe Harry just picked up on a vibe, and got ahead of the problem before it got worse.
Forty or so minutes later, Harry tells Y/N he’s off to class, but she can feel free to stay if she wanted. She smiles and continues working on a paper she already had assigned for one of her courses. It was really nice to just have a space to work.
“Dr…oh…is this not Dr. Styles’ office anymore.” The girl standing in the doorway frowns.
“Oh! No, it is. He’s teaching right now. I’m his TA, Y/N, so we’re sharing. Can I help you with anything?”
“No, um, I was just coming to say hi, but I’ll catch him later.”
“What’s your name? I can tell him you stopped by, then he can email you or something.”
“It’s Bridget, and he doesn’t need to email me. I was just coming to say hi and chat about summer.” She sighs. “Sorry to bother you.”
Before Y/N can say it wasn’t a bother, the girl is gone. Harry really seemed to have a fan club so far. Y/N had professors she loved, but it was the first day of classes, she never went around trying to catch up with them. She decides to close the door a bit, maybe if people came by they would just assume he wasn’t there.
Y/N’s eyes start to feel droopy. It hits her that she’s been up since four this morning, having pulled an early shift at Bento’s. She decides to cross her arms on her desk, and rest her head on them. Her music was playing softly in the background, and her eyes eventually flutter closed.
Harry comes back from his second section of Computer Fundamentals and is confused when he sees his door only open a crack. He opens it the rest of the way and stops short when he sees Y/N resting peacefully. He wonders how long she’s been asleep for. He didn’t want her to be too groggy. He also knew some students from his previous classes may stop by for some clarification, so as he much he didn’t want to, he had to wake her up.
“Y/N?” He says softly, tapping her on the shoulder.
“Mm?” She grunts.
“Gotta wake up, love.”
Her eyes snap open. She sits up and watches him as he sits at his desk, pulling some papers out of his bag. She knew it was a pet name often used where he was from, but holy mother of God did it sound good hearing him call her that.
“Sorry, I…oh wow, I slept for way too long.”
“You didn’t seem so tired this morning, are you feeling alright?”
“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I worked an early shift at the bakery this morning, so it must just be catching up with me.” She stretches her arms out. “I think I’m gonna head out now. Oh, some student named Bridget came by earlier, but you were in class.”
“Alright.” He sighs. “Thanks, see you Wednesday.”
“See you Wednesday.” She smiles, gathers her things, and heads out.
//
At the end of the first week of classes, Harry was exhausted. It was always like this by the time that first Friday hit. The faculty meeting was the most draining part of it. He didn’t subject Y/N to it since she wasn’t helping with a major course. He had whined about it in front of her, though, so when he got back to his office he found a cupcake from Bento’s waiting for him.
It took a couple of weeks, but Y/N was able to relax around Harry. He noticed this right away. She was way less nervous, and he felt happy knowing he wasn’t making her feel intimidated. He was also happy for the help. She was able to field a lot of questions for the students, and her grading things was already saving him a ton of time.
The semester was off to a great start. Y/N would often bring Harry extra pastries from Bento’s, and he would praise her for how good they tasted.
“If those whole Instructional Design thing doesn’t work out, you should just open up your own bakery.” Is what he would often say after stuffing his face. It would make her giggle and blush. She enjoyed pleasing him.
They were having a peaceful Tuesday afternoon, holding office hours. Mostly working on their own, but occasionally chatting. Well, it was peaceful, until someone walked through the door.
“Harry.” An angry woman holding a small shih tzu and a large bag says. “I can’t take care of him Max anymore. I’m moving and my new place can’t have pets.”
“Kelly, let’s go out into the hall, yeah?”
She looks over at Y/N, who was stunned. Harry was standing up and walking around his desk to lead the woman out, but she won’t budge.
“Make whoever this is leave, you have an office for a reason.”
“I don’t have an office for personal matters, come on.” He takes the dog, Max, from her and cuddles him to his chest. Harry gets a lick to his chin. “Aw, you miss Daddy, Maxy?”
The woman rolls her eyes, and lets Harry lead her into the hallway. Y/N hears some muffled discussion, the woman raising her voice more than him.
“You could have looked for a place that allowed pets. This is so typical of you. You fought me on keeping him, and the second it got difficult you wanna just dump him with me.”
“I’m never home, Harry! It’s not fair to him.”
“And you think I’m home more?”
“More than me.” She scoffs. “You don’t have a choice, I leave at the end of the week.”
“You don’t even look like you’re going to miss him.”
“I thought I wanted him, but every time I looked at him I just thought of you, and now I can’t stand him. I’m moving to have a fresh start. Whatever happens to him is up to you now.” She drops the large bag full of Max’s things at his feet and walks away.
Harry sighs and kisses the top of Max’s head. He leans down to grab the bag and walks back into his office.
“I’m so sorry you had to see that.”
“It’s okay.” She extends her hands out. “Can I hold him? He’s so cute.” She pouts.
“Um, sure.” Harry hands Max over to Y/N.
“Oh my goodness.” She gets a lick on her cheek. “How old is he?”
“A little over a year.” Harry mumbles as he goes through the bag. “I have no idea how I’m going to make this work. I can’t bring him with me every day, it’s not allowed. Once in a while is fine, but it’s not like he’s a therapy dog.”
“I can help! My apartment is pet friendly for small dogs. I could just meet you here and you can drop him off to me.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that. You have so much going on between this, your own school work, and Bento’s.”
“I really wouldn’t mind, I know you end up staying here late a lot of the time, I could take him for walks and stuff, tire him out so you can just have a snuggle with him when you get home.” She holds him up to her face. Lucky dog, she thinks to herself.
“You’re my TA, Y/N, not my dog sitter.” He sighs. “I’m sure I could find another student that needs some extra cash-“
“Wouldn’t need to pay me.” She smiles. “Please, he’s so cute, I really wanna help. It won’t stress me out, I promise.”
“We’ll see, it would only be on my busy days.” He takes Max back from her, and pulls his dog bed from the bag. “Go on, get comfy.” He sets him down and pats the top of his head. He takes out his water bowl and pours some into it for him.
“Feel free to not answer, but who was she?”
“My ex…” Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He sits down and watches Max lap up at his water bowl. “She insisted on a small dog because they’re easier to take care of.” He rolls his eyes. “But I missed him a lot, so I’m not complaining. We were together a couple of years, lived together for a bit, thought it would be smart to get a dog like a lot of people do when they’re getting more serious. But we started fighting a lot, we both got busier, neither of us wanted to compromise, and so it goes. She took him with her. We both got new places and have barely spoken.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, we weren’t right for each other, and he sort of made us realize that.” Max yips at Harry. “That’s right, buddy.” Harry chuckles. “We called it quits roughly six months ago, it’s all good now. I thought I’d miss her, but I missed him more.”
“I get that, I dated this guy for a bit in undergrad, but I definitely didn’t see it lasting.” She rolls her eyes.
“Guys at that age are really immature, anyways. You’ve got plenty of time to meet someone.” He turns back to his computer and gets back into his emails. He looks over his calendar and groans. “Alright, I’ll definitely need your help with him.” He turns back to her. “I give a lecture on Thursday evenings, so no one would be home with him literally day.”
“No problem at all, I can bring him home with me and I can just drop him off to you.” She smiles. “My roommates love dogs too, they’ll be excited.”
“I’ll need your phone number, just to get updates and stuff, it’ll be easier than email.”
“Sure!” She hands him her phone immediately. “Feels silly to not have exchanged numbers sooner.”
“Was sort of trying to keep a level of professionalism between us, but I suppose you’re gonna be helping me with my pup you’ll be more than just a colleague.” He puts his number in and texts himself. “You’re sure this won’t be too much for you?”
“Not at all.”
“At least let me pay you.”
“No way.”
“Y/N.” He sighs. “I’m gonna pay you, just deal with it, alright?” There was that intimidating side of him again. Y/N just swallows and nods. “Good.”
//
Nessa and Charlotte loved when Y/N would bring Max home with her. They teased her a bit at first because it was like her and Harry now owned this dog together, but she explained she was just helping him out.
“At least now you know for sure he’s single, and that he’s not afraid of commitment.” Nessa winks.
“Oh stop.” Y/N nudges her.
“He has your number now, does he ever text you about anything other than Max?”
“Not really, although he’ll send a funny gif as a response sometimes. He’s got a good sense of humor. You should see him in class.” Y/N’s phone buzzes and sees a text from Harry. “Speak of the Devil.”
Harry: I’m running late tonight, I’m so sorry. Would it be too much to ask to have you just get him settled at my place? There’s a spare key in the plant by the door.
Y/N’s eyes grow wide.
“Oh my god, he wants me to bring Max to his house tonight.”
“It’s happening!” Charlotte squeals. “Have you eaten much pineapple lately?”
“Would you shut up?! He doesn’t want to fuck me. He’s way too professional.”
Y/N: of course!
Harry: you’re a lifesaver. I’ve got some frozen pizza, feel free to make yourself at home until I get in. I won’t have you waiting too long.
“Oh wow, I’m gonna be there until he gets in…” She looks at her friends. “Maybe I’ll go shave my legs, you know, just in case.”
//
Y/N finds the key quickly, and walks into Harry’s home. He didn’t live too far from campus. He had a nice town home. Max scamps inside and immediately goes over to his toys in the living room. Y/N takes her shoes off and leaves them in the mudroom. Harry kept his home clean, and it made Y/N smile. There were some papers on his kitchen table that had grade marks on them. She wondered if he had a home office or not.
She goes into his freezer to find the pizza, and preheats the over. Once the pizza is baking, she plops onto the couch, pulling Max into her lap and turning the TV on. He has Netflix, so she click into that. She pouts when she sees he watches a lot of Rom Coms, it was too cute. She puts on The Office and has a slice of pizza. She didn’t need to work until tomorrow afternoon, so she didn’t mind that it was getting to be a little later on a Thursday, and it wasn’t like she went to raging parties anymore either.
Eventually, she dozed off. She couldn’t help it. Harry had a really comfortable couch, and plush blanket to curl up in, and Max was just as cozy to sleep with. Harry had texted Y/N, but she didn’t answer because she was asleep. The lecture he had ran late, and then he had to meet with some students to help them. Not to mention it was raining heavily, and he needed to drive a little slower than usual. So he didn’t pull into his driveway until 10PM. He sighs, feeling terrible that Y/N was still there.
He quietly enters his home, but it didn’t matter because Max hears him, wakes up, and starts barking. This startles Y/N awake.
“Shh, Max, it’s just Daddy.” He scoops him up and walks into the living room. Y/N was rubbing her eyes, trying to wake up. “I’m so sorry, I-“
“It’s okay.” She yawns. “I wrapped up the pizza and put it in the fridge for you.”
“Oh, um, thank you. Think I’m about to pass out though.”
“Don’t be silly.” She gets up and stretches. “You need to eat something.”
She brushes by him to go into his kitchen and take the pizza out. She puts a paper-towel over it and pops it in the microwave.
“I really am sorry you’re here so late.”
“It’s okay.” She leans against the counter. “What’s the lecture for, anyways?”
“It’s actually a graduate level CS systems course. I couldn’t turn the money down when they offered it to me. I figured since it’s only once a week it would be terrible, and it’s not, it’s just exhausting.”
The microwave beeps, and Y/N take the plate out for him, removing the paper towel.
“See, now it’s not all dried out.” She smiles.
“Neat trick, I’ll have to remember that.” The rain taps violently on the window in the kitchen.
“Yikes, I didn’t even know it was supposed to rain tonight. It wasn’t like this when I drove over.” She bites her bottom lip and looks outside.
Harry finishes his pizza and puts the plate in the sink. He sets Max down and he runs upstairs to his dog bed in Harry’s room.
“Listen, uh, if you want I can set up the pull out for you. Or I could sleep on it and you could take my bed…if you don’t feel safe driving home.”
“Oh, I couldn’t take your bed.” She turns to him. “But I may take your couch. I was sleeping on it fine as is, no need to set it up.”
“Well, let me at least get you a proper pillow and something to change into, yeah?”
“Okay.”
“Right, um, well you know where the bathroom down here is, feel free to use whatever to wash up. I’ll run up to grab what you need, be down in a sec.”
Harry changes into his own pj’s, and finds some spare pants and a t-shirt for Y/N. He’s even able to find a spare toothbrush. He hustles back down and see’s Y/N bending over to charge her phone using the plug behind the tide table next to the couch. Harry clears his throat to get her attention.
“Here, you can wear this, and he’s a toothbrush.”
“Thanks for letting crash here, I get nervous driving at night when it’s like that outside.”
“It’s the least I could do, you gave up your Thursday night to…” He looks at the TV screen and his cheeks grow hot. Y/N looks over at the TV as well and wonders why The Office might embarrass him.
“Is it okay that I used your Netflix?”
“Yeah, I…god, it’s just, you’ve seen what I watch.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“I didn’t snoop or anything, promise.” She smiles and takes the clothes and toothbrush from him.
He opens up the coffee table to take out a pillow and another blanket.
“Well, I’ll be right upstairs if you need anything…um, goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Harry.”
She wanted to ask if he wanted to watch a little TV with her, but he looked so tired. She lays on the couch after getting changed. His bed clothes swam on her, and she loved it. They smelled just like him and it made her smile. She texts in the group chat so the girls know what’s up. They tell her just to go crawl into his bed, and she rolls her eyes. She falls back asleep after another couple of episodes of The Office.
The next morning, her eyes flutter open when the light from the sliding door in the living room hit her. She hears Harry shuffling around upstairs.
“Gotta be quiet, Max. Y/N is sleeping.” She hears him whisper and it makes her smile. She decides to pretend to be asleep as to not rile the dog up.
She hears the door open and close, and that’s when she knows Harry’s gone to take Max for a walk. She gets up and folds the blankets, and puts the pillow on top. She figures he’ll want to wash it. She goes into the bathroom to do her business, but doesn’t change just yet, she didn’t want to leave the comfort of his clothes. She does, however, put her bra on. She didn’t want to bounce around and make him uncomfortable.
Harry comes back in with a beanie on, cover the beautiful curls Y/N adored so much. He was wearing grey joggers, and a black t-shirt. Max runs right over to Y/N.
“Morning.” Harry says.
“Morning.” She pats Max’s head.
“Sleep alright?”
“Mhm, thank you.”
“I’m gonna make some breakfast, you hungry?”
“Sure, I could eat.” She smiles.
He smiles back and opens up the fridge. Y/N grabs the dog food and gets Max’s bowl filled. She sees Harry starting up the coffee pot, and then going back to the fridge for eggs.
“Eggs and toast alright?”
“Sounds great.”
Harry gets a pan heated up and cracks four eggs into it.
“You working at Bento’s today?”
“Yeah, not until this afternoon though, no worries.”
“Oh good, I would have felt bad if I was keeping you.”
“You’re not.” She sits up on the counter and watches him cook the eggs. He moves to the toaster and puts for pieces of bread in. “This is a nice place.”
“Thanks, sort of found it in a scramble, but it gets the job done. Would have liked more than one bedroom, but oh well.” Harry flips all of the eggs over so they’ll be sunny side down. “Want cheese?”
“Yes, please.” She hops off the counter to grab a couple of mugs for the coffee.
“I have to apologize, I don’t have any cream for that.”
“Sugar?”
He slides the sugar bowl down to her and she smiles. Once everything is done they sit down at the kitchen table.
“Mm, this is delicious, thank you.”
“S’just a fried egg.” He chuckles. “But I’m glad you like it.”
“Do you have to go to campus today?”
“Not technically, but I will just to get some work done. I’ll bring Max with me. He likes the little dog bed I’ve put under my desk.”
“He’s really such a love bug. Snuggled with me last night and everything. My roommates love him too.”
“You’ve been such a big help in so many ways. Don’t know what I’ll do without you next semester.”
“I’m applying for more TA positions, maybe they’ll stick me with you again.”
“Wouldn’t you want more experience with a different class?”
“It doesn’t really matter.” She shrugs. “It would be cool to work with you over winter break to redesign your other courses.”
“Man, if I didn’t have to do that myself…hm, maybe I could put a good word in. That is, if you don’t mind being stuck with me again.”
“Stuck with you? Hello, this is going way better than I thought. I was sort of nervous to be your TA at first.”
“You were?” He frowns.
“You’re a little intimidating.”
“I don’t mean to be.”
“I know, it’s just the way you come off sometimes. You’re hilarious when you want to be.”
“Thanks.” He smirks and continues to eat. He looks at her and furrows his brows. “Feel free to keep those.”
“What?”
“The clothes I let you borrow, feel free to just keep ‘em if you want. I don’t much wear those pants anymore, and I have a dozen t-shirts.”
“Oh, um, thank you. Might take you up on that, I’m pretty cozy.”
She helps clean up the dishes and then gathers her things. He walks her out to her car.
“Thanks again for watching him.”
“Of course, I’ll see you Monday morning.”
“See you, have a good weekend, love.”
Her heart skips a beat as he turns and walks back inside. She takes a deep breath as she gets into her car. It was cloudy on the drive home, but at least it wasn’t raining. The second she gets through the door Nessa and Charlotte grill her for details, and they were highly disappointed that the only thing they shared was breakfast.
“It was really domestic, though, it was nice.” Y/N explains. “He was so cute while he made me breakfast. He’s so kind. He even let me keep his clothes, and he wants me to be his TA again next semester. He literally said he wouldn’t know what to do without me.”
“Yeah, because you’ve volunteered to do everything for him except suck his dick.” Charlotte scoffs. “You said he’s been broken up for a little over six months right? Do you think he’s gotten his dick wet since then?”
“Charlotte!” Y/N giggles. “He’s a grown man, he can do what he wants. I bet he has, he easily could have had a rebound, although, he seems really respectful, so who knows if he’s even into hooking up.”
“Right, like when you told us he always keeps his office door open.”
“I feel bad, I’m there when some of those girls come to chat with him, and you can tell they just make him uncomfortable.” She shakes her head. “I think he and I are, like, friends now. I like what we have going, I’m not going to rock the boat. It could really complicate things.”
“So, would you say now that you’ve gotten to know him better your crush is less…apparent?” Nessa asks.
“God no! We mesh really well, we think a lot of the same things are funny…” She wines slightly. “It’s truly unfair.” She sighs. “Right person, wrong time.”
//
It was hard to stay awake during your shift at the bakery, but you made it through. You were thankful you only needed to be there until about dinner time. You had to be back in Saturday morning for open, but that didn’t stop you and your friends from going out to the bar for a couple of drinks.
It gave the three of you time to catch up and complain about coursework. Nessa was directing a production at the university, and she still had students who weren’t off-book, and Charlotte had to deal with pretentious music bros who really liked to man-splain the music industry to her. Y/N felt lucky that the majority of her classes were online.
“Okay, I have to ask, are there any students in class you think have crushes on each other?” Nessa asks her, sipping from her straw.
“Oh, for sure. There are these two boys, they don’t sit next to each other, but you can tell they’re friends. One of them always looks behind to the other so they can make a face. It’s too cute.”
They were at a more adult bar tonight. It’s not that they didn’t like the college bars they were so used to going to, but if they went there then that meant getting shitfaced and staying on the dancefloor until close. It also made things awkward when running into students. So the three of them felt safe here, they could really relax.
“Oh my fucking god.” Charlotte says. “Dr. Styles just walked in, and fuck, he’s here with a couple of really hot guys.”
“What?!” Y/N was buzzed, and she didn’t want Harry to see her like this. She wanted his image of her to remain sweet and professional. She peers over her shoulder to look at him, and her eyes widen.
He wasn’t wearing his glasses, he had a floral patterned shirt on that had the first few buttons undone, and a pair of black jeans to match. They weren’t skinny jeans or anything, but they sure as fuck were working for him. Both of his friends were a little shorter, but both equally as handsome. The three walk right by the bar and grab a booth.
“This is bad.” Y/N groans. “He looks so fucking good.”
“Who knew he was so tatted up?!” Nessa says. “I thought it was just his arms, but did you see his collar bones? We love a man who has going attire.”
The bar was starting to get more crowded, and louder as it got later. Music was blaring from the speakers, but all Y/N could think about was Harry. She wondered if he would venture to her area of the bar to order his drinks. One of his friends went up first, on Nessa’s left.
“Hey, Niall, what can I get for you?” The bartender asks him.
“Bradly, so good to see yeh, I’ll take a pint of Guinness, Lou’s gonna have a pale ale, and Harry’ll have a Corona with lime.”
“You got it.”
Niall drums his fingers on the bar. Nessa was sweating. She had a boyfriend, so she would never do anything, but fuck, that Irish accent tore right through her. Niall looks over at the three girls who had all fallen silent after he approached. He makes eye contact with Y/N, and they share a smile.
“Opening a tab tonight?”
“Yeah, one of those nights for sure. Poor Harry’s had a run in with his ex, basically dropped their dog in his lap and left. It’s been a couple of weeks since it happened, but it’s been eatin’ the lad up.”
Bradly nods and takes Niall’s credit card to keep on the back of the bar. He hands him the three beers, and Niall thanks him. The girls try not to watch as he sits down.
“Holy shit, I thought I was going to crap my pants.” Nessa breathes. “I love Andy, don’t get me wrong, but holy fuck.” She shakes her head. “I may need to have him pick me up from here tonight.” She giggles.
“Now I almost wish there was dancing here. Wouldn’t mind showing that guy how well I can pop my ass.” Charlotte laughs.
“He smiled at me, did you see it? Of course Harry surrounds himself with other beautiful people.” She pouts.
Niall slides Harry and Louis their beers and they all clink their glasses.
“I’m so glad we could all get out to do this. Sorry we didn’t rescue you the second Kelly showed up.” Louis says.
“It’s alright, I appreciate you guys coming tonight.”
“Is Max okay for a bit on his own?” Niall asks.
“Yeah, I put the gates up for him so he can’t mess much up. I wouldn’t have texted my TA to see if she could watch him again, but…”
“But you’ll most likely be fucking someone tonight.” Niall grins. “Surprised you didn’t just fuck her, she stayed at your place and everything.”
“Actually, you asshole,” Harry chuckles and takes a swig of his beer. “I was going to say that I would have felt bad taking up another one of her evenings. I don’t know if I’m in the mood to take anyone home tonight.”
“Too bad, girls love little dogs like Max.” Louis shrugs.
“There’s three really hot girls sitting by the bar.” Niall loves over at the three girls. “One for each of us if we play our cards right.”
Harry’s back was turned away from the bar, so he couldn’t see who Niall was talking about.
“They could be college students.” Louis says.
“Not at this place. The undergrads don’t come here.” Harry says. “Mostly grad students or other faculty that live close by, locals too.”
“We could order their next round of drinks, and then invite them to come sit with us. Booth has plenty of room.” Niall suggest.
Harry and Louis turn around slightly to get a look at the girls Niall was talking about. Harry nearly chokes on his Corona, and turns back around.
“Jesus, are you alright?” Louis asks, patting his back.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. We can’t get those girls drinks.”
“Why not?”
“The one on the right is my TA, Y/N, and her two roommates. I know one of them has a boyfriend…uh…the one on the very left. The middle one is single, but even still, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Mate, you’re TA is that good looking, and you didn’t even try to fuck her when she stayed at your place?” Niall asks.
“No, I didn’t try to fuck her. I’m doing this thing where I don’t fuck people I have a position of power over.” He rolls his eyes. “That’s a no go.”
“But if she wasn’t your TA, and just a regular grad student…?” Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry. He runs a hand through his hair as thinks it over.
“I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it. I mean, she’s obviously cute, but…I could never do something like that.”
“It’s not like she’s going to be your TA next semester, you could-“ Harry cuts Niall off.
“Actually, she might be. I have a meeting with the curriculum committee to discuss what I’ll need help with for next semester, and we both want to work with each other again. Crossing that line would complicate things, not to mention it’s highly unprofessional.”
“It’s not like she’s a student sitting in one of your classes, then I’d agree with you. You’re colleagues, technically. Nothing in the rule book saying you can’t fuck a colleague.” Niall says.
“He’s got a point, Har.” Louis says.
“Even if I agreed with the both of you, I’d still be taking advantage. I think she has a little crush on me, she’s made a couple flirty comments here and there…”
“Not to mention she jumped at the chance to help watch your dog.” Louis says.
“It’s not happening.”
“Well, you may not want to fuck a pretty girl tonight, but I do, and if the middle one is single, perhaps I’ll still order them all drinks, and just talk with her. Or, if you’re saying Y/N’s a no go for you, maybe I’ll chat her up. We smiled at each other, maybe she thinks I’m cute.” Niall grins.
“Don’t you dare.” He glares at him, finishing his beer. “I don’t care if you talk to, fuck what’s her name…Charlotte! I don’t care if you talk to Charlotte, but don’t try anything with Y/N.” He looks at Louis. “You either.”
“Not that I would, but basically you’re saying if you can’t fuck her no one else can?” Louis asks.
“I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.”
“Alright.” Niall shrugs. “We ready for the next round, then?” They both nod at him, and Niall brings the empties up to the bar. The girls fall silent when he approaches again. “Hi there, is there a reason you all keep doing that?”
The girls all turn to look at him. They were sweating.
“Doing what?” Charlotte asks nervously.
“Well, and maybe it’s just a coincidence, but you keep getting quiet when I come over.”
“It’s just…um…” Nessa starts. “You’re here with someone our friend knows.” She points to Y/N. “In a professional setting, and we’re just surprised to see him out, that’s all.”
“Oh, am I? Who is it?”
“Dr. Styles.” Y/N speaks up. Niall smiles as his eyes raise.
“Dr. Styles, how formal.” He looks over at Bradly who gives him the new drinks. “Bradly, do me a favor, put these ladies’ next round on my tab, will you?”
“You don’t have to do that.” Y/N says.
“Whether you know my friend or not, I’d be a real jerk to not buy three beautiful girls a drink, wouldn’t I?” He winks at Charlotte as he walks away with his new drinks.
“He winked at me, oh my god.” She squeals. “Y/N, you wouldn’t care if I tried to fuck one of Harry’s friends, right? It’s been a minute for me.” She pouts.
“No, why would I care?” She laughs. Bradly gives the girls their new drinks. “That was really nice of him.” She twists her straw and looks over at the booth. She can see Niall and the other guy laughing, while Harry just shakes his head.
“What the fuck did you say to them?” Harry asks as he takes a sip of beer.
“Would you relax? They simply mentioned that they knew you, and I bought their next round, that was it.”
“Great, so she knows I’m here.” He groans. “Move.” He says to Louis.
“Why?”
“Because now I have to go talk to her.”
“Oh, you do?” Louis smirks.
“Yes, do you know how fucking rude it would be not even say hello?”
“I don’t see her coming over here.” Niall says.
“She’s obviously nervous!” Harry takes a large gulp of his drink. “Move, Lou.”
Louis gets up so Harry can get out of the booth.
“Oh my god, Y/N, Harry’s coming over here.” Nessa says.
“Shut up, no he’s not, oh my god, he is, holy shit. I’m…inebriated.”
The girls laugh at her as Harry comes to sit on the open stool next to Y/N. He gets comfortable before he looks at her and smiles. She slowly turns herself to look at him.
“Hi.” He says.
“Hi.”
“Did my friend bother you?”
“Not at all…he was very nice.”
Harry nods and sips from his drink.
“I didn’t know you came here…” He says.
“Could say the same to you.” She looks him up and down. “Barely recognized you when you walked in. That’s a nice shirt.”
“Thanks.” He blushes and wants to kick himself for being so exposed to her.
“You haven’t met my friends yet. Charlotte, Nessa, this is Dr…uh, this is Harry.” The girls both say hello.
“Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you both. You’re Charlotte right?”
“Yeah.”
“My friend thinks you’re cute.” He nods over to Niall. Maybe Harry wouldn’t have been so bold, but he knew they were only a few years apart in age, so it wasn’t totally weird, and he had a couple drinks in him, so there’s that.
“Really?!”
“Mhm.”
“Should I go talk to him?”
“Definitely, I think he’d really like that.”
“Good enough for me.” She hops off the stool. “Ness, come talk to his other friend with me it’s not awkward.”
“Wing-man to the rescue, I’m on it.”
“You guys!” Y/N calls after them, but they’re already sitting down. She looks back at Harry and squints at him.
“What?”
“Did you do that on purpose?”
“Do what?”
“Get them to leave so we could be alone…”
“What?! No!” Harry finishes his drink, and Bradly gets him a new one right away. “Why would I want to be alone with you?” He sees the obvious offense on her face, and shakes his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. We’re alone together all the time, aren’t we? I just meant, in this setting.” He gestures to the bar around him. “I’ve been a bit mopey since Kelly showed up, so my friends just wanted to take me out and show me a good time.” He looks over at Niall who already has his arm around Charlotte. “Although, I think they’re bound to have a better night than me.” He sighs.
“You haven’t let on a mopey exterior, you could have told me.”
“It’s really none of your business how I’m feeling, Y/N.”
“You’re being awfully cold to someone who spent the night at your house just watch your dog.”
“You spent the night because it was raining too heavily.”
“And then you made me breakfast.”
“As an extra thank you.”
“You’re annoying.” She takes a sip of her drink and faces forward. “Now I don’t even have my friends to complain about you because you’ve sent them off to your friends.” She rolls her eyes.
“M’not annoying. I’m a fucking delight, just ask Max.”
“Where is he anyways?”
“Home.” Harry shrugs. “He can last a few hours without me. I almost texted you, but I would have felt bad asking again. I know you worked today, I honestly didn’t expect to see you out.”
“It was a long week for everyone. I’m not staying much longer, I have to be at Bento’s at four in the morning.”
“It’s…” Harry looks down at his watch. “Almost midnight, Cinderella.” He smirks at her and she can’t help but laugh. It was a stupid and cheesy joke, but she liked it. “I didn’t mean to be cold…I just didn’t want you to think I was coming over here to pull a move or something.”
“I’m going to remind you again, you sent my friends away.” She smiles and takes a sip of her drink.
“I did.” He nods. “But I’ll remind you, my friend Niall thinks Charlotte is cute. He thought you were cute too, by the way.”
“He did?!” She looks over at them and then back to Harry. “But you sent her off with him?”
“Yup.” He takes a swig of his beer.
“Why?!”
“Could be a little awkward to have my best friend canoodle with my TA.”
“Right, because it would be so easy to get into my bed.” She scoffs.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You implied it. And I’m not one to kiss and tell, so unless he wanted to dish, you wouldn’t have even heard anything from me about it.”
“Doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t have liked it. I don’t know Charlotte so I don’t really care what they do.”
“You don’t get to decide who I can and can’t sleep with just because you’re too chicken to make a move.” Before he can say anything she’s hopping off her stool and heading out of the bar.
She’s just about to order an uber when he grabs her wrist. It was chilly outside, and she could clearly see both of their breaths.
“What did you just say to me?”
“You heard me.” She yanks her wrist free. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to sleep for three hours so I can get up to bake some fucking bread.” She orders her uber, and Nessa comes rushing out.
“Char’s staying inside with, um, Niall? I saw you leave so I thought I’d come…with…you…” She sees Harry who was practically fuming. “Um, I can wait inside, or-“
“It’s fine, the uber will be here in a minute.” She smiles at her friend and then glares at Harry. “At least one of us is going to have a good time tonight.” She seethes.
“I had fun.” Nessa says, and then realizes what Y/N meant. “Oh.”
“Why are you still here? Go inside and find some random to fuck.”
“Don’t talk to me like that, Y/N.”
“Sorry, I’m off the clock. I can speak to you however the fuck I want.” She steps closer to him. “I don’t know where you get off being so sweet and kind one moment, and then turning into a major prick the second you feel threatened, but I don’t need this.”
The uber pulls up, and without another word Y/N and Nessa get inside, leaving Harry outside in the cold.
//
Y/N woke up at 3:30AM and groaned, cursing at herself for going out. She only had to work until 9AM and then should could sleep the day away if she wanted. She was still so mad at Harry she could scream. He hadn’t even tried to text her to apologize.
She sighs and makes her way to the kitchen once she’s dressed. She stops short when she sees a half-naked Niall standing in her kitchen, filling two glasses of water.
“Um…hi.” She says to him as she grabs her daily vitamins out of the cabinet.
“Hey.” He smiles. He looks her up and down. “Are you going to work?”
“I am.” She pops the gummy vitamins into her mouth.
“Could you do me a favor?” He steps a little closer to her. “Take it easy on Harry, alright?” Y/N scoffs at him. “I know, he was an asshole last night, but he just want to do anything that could put his job in danger, that’s all.”
“How would I do that? I’m not his student, I’m his colleague.”
“He just feels weird about it, and he’s still figuring out his feelings. I think he likes you, to be quite honest. You’ve…perked him up, well not tonight, but anytime he mentions you he smiles.”
“He…talks about me?”
“Oh sure, all the time actually.” He takes a sip of water. “I better go bring this to her. Just…consider taking it easy on him, he knows he fucked up.”
Y/N nods as Niall makes his way back to Charlotte’s room. She drags herself out to her car and heads to Bento’s. Once she’s inside, she puts some music on and fires up the ovens. She loved baking, it helped clear her head for a little while. She would prep the bacon, get fresh muffins and cookies going, and she would even make croissants. By the time the rest of the morning crew shows up, she’s just about halfway done with everything. She trays up everything to be rolled out for the people working out front. By the time 9AM rolled around she was exhausted, but had mostly forgotten how aggravated she was. She snags a coffee and a muffin on her way out, and stops short when she sees Harry sitting outside with Max.
“Oh, thank god.” He says, standing up. Max sniffs at her feet and she bends down to pet the top of his head. “They said you got off at nine, I hope it’s not weird that I’m here.”
“How long have you been waiting out here?”
“Well, I came by at 6:30 when they opened, but you were really busy, so I just came back twenty minutes ago. Can we talk?”
“Not right now. I’m covered in flour and sweat, and I’d like to take a shower and then take a nap. I got two hours of sleep last night. It was my own doing, but still.”
“When then?”
“I’ll text you.” She shrugs. “Niall spent the night, I bumped into him this morning. He said you fucked up?”
“I did.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Do what you need to do, and then, uh, come bay later, yeah? We can have a late lunch or something, and I can explain myself. Would you like that?”
“Depends, what’s on the menu?”
“S’cold out, do you like grilled cheese and tomato soup?”
“Love it.” She smiles. “I’ll let you know when I wake up.”
“Alright, thanks.”
Y/N takes a nice long shower when she gets home, her roommates still peacefully sleeping. She wondered if Niall was still there or if he slipped out a couple hours after her. She didn’t care that much, she was too tired to care. Once her hair is dry, she slips a t-shirt on and crawls into bed.
“Y/N! I’ve let you sleep long enough, please wake up!” Charlotte was absolutely giddy, and dying to fill Y/N in. It was around 2PM, she definitely caught up on sleep.
“Gimme five minutes!” Y/N yells back. She was groggy and didn’t want to be cranky.
Y/N comes out to the couch and lays down. Nessa was out with Andy, but she had heard about everything earlier. Charlotte brings Y/N a cup of tea and smiles at her.
“Thank you.” She takes a careful sip. “Alright, go ahead.”
“Best sex I’ve ever fucking had!” She squeals. “He had me all over the bed, it was wild. I’m surprised we didn’t wake you.”
“I passed out the second I got home.” She chuckles. “Best you ever had, huh? What exactly did he do?”
“What didn’t he do?! Fingers, tongue, and dick, it was incredible. I rode him, then he got on top, and then he did me from behind, bent me over the bed, I got on top again. His stamina was incredible. I made him some breakfast this morning and then he left.”
“Did he give you his number?”
“He did.” She beams. “He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment, but I was free to text him anytime I wanted him like that again.” She bites her bottom lip and sinks further into the couch. “I totally don’t mind at all. It would be nice to start up a new little fling. It won’t be weird for you, will it?”
“Not at all, it’s not like you’re…oh my god.” She pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.
“What?”
“I totally get where he was coming from now.” She groans.
“What do you mean?”
“He said he told me that, uh, his other friend thought I was cute, and I told him I was mad because he sent the two of you away, and that he couldn’t tell me who I could and couldn’t fuck, but I would have been so mad if you slept with Harry.”
“I wouldn’t have, though. I know how much you like…” She gasps. “Do you think he likes you too?!”
“I don’t know, maybe!” Y/N takes her phone out to text Harry that she’s up and that she’ll be over within the hour. “I’m going to his place for a late lunch, he wants to apologize, but I owe him one just the same. I flipped out for no reason.”
“Well, at least you’re realizing it. Very adult of you.”
“Oh, shut up.” She nudges her and gets up to change.
//
Y/N gets to Harry’s around 3PM. She paired a green cardigan and a black tank top with a pair of jeans. She gets out of the car and rings his bell. She giggles when she hears Max barking from behind the door.
“Shh, it’s just Y/N.” Harry coos to Max as he opens his door. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Um, come in.” He moves aside and lets her in. “Here, think he misses you.” Y/N takes Max from Harry and snuggles him close.
“It’s only been a couple days.” She pouts at the dog.
“Come, sit, the food’s ready.”
Y/N sets Max down and sits down at the table. Harry already had the grilled cheese and soup out on the table.
“This looks good, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Harry…I know you wanted to apologize, but I realized today that you weren’t totally in the wrong.”
“Yes I was.” He sighs and blows on his soup before slurping some from his spoon. “Maybe it wasn’t what I said, but it was how I said it. I overstepped. You’re a grown woman, I had no right to tell my friend he couldn’t hit it on you.”
“Well, it all worked out because Charlotte seems to have a new fuck buddy on her hands.” She chuckles and takes a bite of her sandwich. “Look, I appreciate you saying all that, but when I was talking to her earlier, I realized I would have done the same thing. I would have told my friends not to flirt with you or try to pick you up, and I would have been pissed if one of them slept with you.”
“You would have?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You know why.” She grumbles. “I…I mean…”
“We’re stuck between a rock and a hard place here, Y/N.” He sighs and sits back in his chair.
“We are?”
“Yes. I did a lot of thinking last night, did some talking with my friends. I had to really think about why I got so upset. The thing is, you’re my TA, and you’re going to be my TA next semester as well, most likely. I have a meeting about it Monday. Selfishly, I don’t want anyone else to have you.”
“In more ways than one, obviously.” She smirks.
“Don’t be cute.” He gives her a playful smile. “I think I’d miss you too much, to be honest. I like sharing my office with you. Your help with Max has been great, you’re, like, part of my life now.”
“Is there some rule that says that we can’t…like…go out?”
“I don’t know…I think it would look unprofessional on my part. I know you’re not one of my students, so it’s not as bad as that, but I still have a position of power over you, and if someone found out something was going, it could look really bad. I wouldn’t want something to taint your reputation either.”
“Well, I’ve been over here twice now, and no one’s said a thing.”
“You haven’t been on campus since Thursday. Someone could easily say something to us Monday.”
“A lot of people know I help with Max.”
“Some people may know you used to be a student of mine as well. They could assume something’s been going on for years.”
“Not true, wouldn’t people know about Kelly?” Harry grimaces at the name. “Sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
“So…I feel like we’re just going around in circles here, Harry. Like, what are we doing?”
“Well, if I vouch for you to be my TA again next semester, would you? The course would be for Creativity and the Visual World, and I think you could really shine there, talk about IDS. Also, I don’t know what your plans are after you graduate, or where you’ll want to go, but I’ve caught wind that one of the instructional designers on campus is going to retire at the end of the school year.”
“Wow, so you’re like really trying to keep me around.” She smirks.
“It’s not like that.” He chuckles. “I just mean, it could be a good first gig for you. You’re very good at all that, thought you might be interested to know there’s going to be an opening. You know the campus well, it would be a smooth transition for you.”
“That would be ideal, I do want to work in higher ed when I’m done.”
“I could help you with your cover letter, I’m really good at writing those. I’ve helped plenty of students.”
“I’ll definitely look into it.” She finishes what she can of the food, and sits back as well.
“I really am sorry about last night, I felt awful.”
“It’s okay, I really get it.” She sighs. “So…I still don’t know what we’re doing. Are we just choosing not to date anyone else and also not each other? Why should I wait until I graduate to be with someone?”
“M’not asking you to do that. I don’t really know what I’m asking you to do. I just don’t want to be a cliché. The young professor getting with someone that works for him. I’m attracted to you, I can admit that, but I don’t want to get fired, nor do I want your name getting dragged through the mud.”
“So, essentially, while I’m your TA we can’t do anything.”
“Correct.”
“And you’d rather suffer and have me be your TA again next semester just to have me around you, even though it would mean we still couldn’t do anything.”
“Yes.”
“Alright, after the holidays I’ll be staying at my apartment for winter break. We pay for a full year, and I like having the time alone. I also still work at Bento’s.” She stands up and puts her things in the sink.
“What are you saying exactly?”
“I’m saying, over winter break we’re in limbo. I won’t be your TA, and I’ll be all alone in my three bedroom apartment. Perhaps there’ll be a night I’m feeling especially lonely and you’ll have the marvelous idea of visiting me with Max, and whatever happens will happen.”
“And then what? Act like it didn’t when the spring semester starts?”
“I guess we’d cross that bridge when we come to it. All I know is that for six weeks, you will in no way have a position of power over me. By the way, I’m twenty-three years old, it’s like you said, I’m a grown woman. You’re not taking advantage of me. I know how it would look to others, so I can respect where you’re coming from. However, I’d like to try things out before I tell someone I’m going to wait for them.”
With that, Y/N gives Max one last squeeze, and out the door she goes. She was proud of herself. Harry liked her, and he wanted to be with her. It was a dream come true. She also didn’t mind sort of waiting for him, it would just make things all the more hot when they’d finally be able to come together.
//
The rest of the semester went by…okay. There was a lot of tension, a lot of it. Harry was just thankful it was getting colder which meant that Y/N was bundling up more. She did, however, look insanely cute in her many layers and scarves. They were busy grading, not having much time for chat chit. She started going over his place more, though. They would have little grading parties where they could just spread out and get things done. His place was also another quiet haven for her to escape to.
Charlotte hooked with Niall almost every weekend, it was pretty cute. They were having fun, and Y/N was happy for her friend. Even though sometimes Y/N wished Harry would just fuck her on his kitchen table on top of all the graded papers and tests, and maybe sometimes he fantasized about the same thing, but it had to stay professional. She didn’t want him regretting anything. Sometimes he would come into Bento’s when she was working, she even snuck him in early one morning to show him how she made the croissants he liked so much. They were essentially dating, but without all the physical stuff.
At least Y/N could catch some relief later at night in her bed. She didn’t think of Harry at first. Her routine mostly consisted of headphones, pornhub, and a few orgasms. But there was one particular night her and Harry were sitting in front of his fireplace, and he just looked so sexy, and she wanted him to take her on his living room floor, she didn’t even care if her tailbone would be bruised the next day. She still hadn’t even seen his fucking bedroom, it was the one part of the house she wasn’t allowed in. So she start fantasizing about his bed, and then one thing led to another and she ended up moaning out his name in a shallow breath. It had caught her by surprise, and she was almost embarrassed about it.
Harry would have been lying if he said he wasn’t doing the same thing. It mostly happened early in the morning when he’d take his shower. It just sort of happened. He woke up one morning, rolled over and wished she was there next to him. He had seen her fall asleep so many times, and he thought she was incredibly cute. He liked having Max in the bed, but he wanted Y/N. So when he got into the shower he just couldn’t stop thinking about her. He didn’t feel embarrassed, he didn’t feel guilty, he mostly felt annoyed because he just wanted the real thing.
It was confirmed that Y/N would be his TA again in the spring, and they were both exited. He liked having her in his office, and he thought they worked together really well. It was worth it, it was all going to be worth it.
Harry went home to London for the holidays, and Y/N went home to her parents’ house. It was a tough goodbye. They hugged, and maybe they kissed each other on the cheek, but neither wanted to let go. Y/N loved seeing her family, but ten days was plenty. She liked having her apartment to herself. Nessa and Charlotte wouldn’t be back for a few weeks. That meant Y/N could watch whatever she wanted on TV, she didn’t have to worry about being quiet on the early mornings she had to work, and she could take a long shower.
A big snow storm was coming, which was starting to make Y/N nervous. Stores were closing in preparation, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to weather it alone.
Y/N: are you back from London? Can’t remember when you said you’d be home…
Harry: hey! I was just going to message you, I got back yesterday, was just sleeping off the jetlag. What’s up?
Y/N: this impending storm is freaking me out…
Harry: do you wanna get snowed in at my place? Just stalked up at the grocery store…
Y/N: are you sure? I don’t wanna be a burden :(
Harry: you wouldn’t be! You know I want to see you, so does Max :)
Y/N: okay! I’ll pack a bag and head over, see you soon!
Harry had been cute while he was away, sending Y/N a few selfies of him and Max. She had been to his house so many times, this wouldn’t be weird at all to spend a couple of snowy days together. She gets all her things packed, and makes her way to Harry’s. It was just starting to flurry when she parked in his driveway. He comes outside to help her with her things.
“And this time, you’ll let me set up the pullout for you. No need to sleep on a couch for two days.”
“Okay.”
She was hoping he’d give in and let her sleep in his bed with him. Actually, she was hoping he’d pick her up, swing her around, and kiss her. He sets her things down and waits for her to take her coat off, then he hugs hers.
“Had a good holiday?” He asks as he lets her go.
“Yeah, it was good. You?”
“It was great, love getting to see my family.” Max comes trotting in and greets Y/N.
“There’s my little man.” She scoops him up and gives him kisses.
“I was just going to make some tea, would you like some?”
“Please.” She plops down with Max on the couch.
“Do you have to work at Bento’s during all this? I can drive you if you want.”
“No, they closed in preparation of the storm.”
“Oh, good!”
Y/N turns the TV on, and scrolls through Netflix for something simple to watch. Harry comes over with two mugs of tea and he sits down next to her.
“Find anything good? Feel like it’s all Christmas movies right now.”
“Nothing yet…” She squints at the TV. “How about…oh! Have you watched Love, Victor yet? It’s been on my list for ages.”
“Is it based off of Love, Simon?”
“Yeah! This kid Victor is new in town, and ends up going to the same school Simon did.”
“Sure, we could watch that.”
“Shit, it’s on Hulu, you have that right?”
“Mhm, gimme the remote, I’ll switch it over.” She hands it to him and sips on her tea while he queues it up.
“Mm, this is tasty, what is it?”
“It’s black tea with honey, love.” He looks at her wants to laugh. “I don’t usually add anything, but I thought you’d like the honey.”
“It’s perfect, thank you.”
The show starts just as the sun was setting outside. Y/N pulls the blanket Harry keeps on the back of the couch over her legs, and Max moves to Harry’s lap.
“Let me know if I’m being a blanket hog.”
“S’alright, he keeps me pretty warm.”
“Don’t be annoying.” She huffs and spreads the blanket out equally over them. “See, nice and cozy.”
“I’m not being annoying, I’m being…respectful.”
“Golly gee, thanks, mister.” She pouts at him and he rolls his eyes.
“Now who’s being annoying?”
A couple of episodes in, and Harry’s stomach starts rumbling.
“Are you hungry? I can pop a pizza in the oven, or make some pasta?”
“Pizza would be perfect, thank you.”
“Pause it, I just need a minute to get it in the oven.”
Y/N nods and scrolls through her phone while she waits for him to come back. This was nice. It was like they were hanging out as friends, which was okay, but she was hoping he’d make a move for fuck’s sake.
“Alright, should be about fifteen minutes.” He smiles and gets back under the blanket. Y/N presses and play and they get back into it.
After the pizza, they nearly almost binge the entire show. Harry was starting to doze off, so they decide to call it a night. He looks outside in the kitchen window.
“I am not looking forward to digging out our cars. Times like this I wish I had a garage.” He sighs.
“You say that like you’ll be doing it alone. I’ve got all my snow gear, I can help.”
“Right, like I’d let you break your back out there.” He scoffs, and puts his hand on her shoulder. “Let me make up the pullout for you.”
Y/N watches as Harry moves the coffee table, and hoists the pullout into place. The sheets were already on it, so he just lays the blankets and pillows out.
“Well, I’ll be upstairs with Max if you need anything. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, thanks again for letting me stay. I think I would have been scared all alone.”
“No worries, I’m glad you’re here. I, uh, missed you over the holidays.” He clears his throat and heads upstairs.
Y/N does her nightly routine and puts on a tank top and pajama pants for bed. She gets onto the pullout and tries to listen to some music to fall asleep, but the wind was whipping so harshly outside, it was making her uneasy. She hated storms more than anything. Would Harry mind if she crawled into bed with him? She could even sleep on the floor. She just didn’t want to be down here alone. She sighs and slowly gets out of the bed. She makes her way upstairs.
Harry’s bedroom was the entire upstairs, it was sort of like a loft. He had a king sized bed, a decent looking bedroom set, and an en suite. Y/N thought it was really nice, well, what she could make out of it since it was so dark.
“Harry?” She whispers. His head was in his pillow, sleeping on his tummy.
“Mm?” He grunts, clearly out of it.
“I’m a little scared downstairs, would it be alright if I slept on the floor up here?”
“Get in.” He mumbles.
“Really, are you sure? Because I-“
He flips some of the covers back, eyes still closed. Y/N takes a deep breath and gets into the bed. Max was half asleep, but he moves away from Harry to make room for her, plopping down near his feet. Y/N climbs in and faces away from him. This was such a large bed for one guy, and it made her wonder who was the last person to share it with him. She wanted to keep a respectful distance from him, but before she could start counting sheep, his arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to him. Her breath hitched, but she could hear his steady breathing, he was definitely asleep. He must just sleep better when he’s holding onto something, she thinks.
//
Harry’s eyes flutter open around 5AM. He was used to getting up that early to take Max out, but for some reason he felt like he got some of the most restful sleep he’s gotten in a long time. He feels warm and cozy, and even though he knows he needs to get up and brave the cold so his dog could relieve himself, he found himself nuzzling in to whatever he was holding onto.
That’s when it hits him that he wasn’t dreaming last night, and Y/N genuinely came up into his room because she was feeling uneasy being all alone downstairs. She was still fully clothed, but he wasn’t he was only in his boxers. His leg was between hers, and she was pressed up against him. He wondered if she slept well like this. Just because he slept better holding onto something didn’t mean that she would.
He makes subtle movements, not wanting to wake her. He nearly winced leaving the warmth of the bed, but he got through it. Max pops his head up and Harry puts his finger up to his lips to signal that he needed to be quiet. Harry snatches his sweatpants and a pair of socks, and grabs Max to take him downstairs. He throws his coat and boots on, gets the leash on Max, and out the door he goes. He shoves his beanie down over his ears as he feels the wind whip around. There were snow drifts everywhere and it was still coming down. He uses the flashlight on his phone so Max could see what he was doing.
“Come on, buddy, I know it’s cold, but Daddy doesn’t wanna be out here long.” He wanted to get back to Y/N.
Once Max does his business, Harry gets him so food and fresh water. He strips himself of his jacket and socks, but leaves his sweatpants on. He was shirtless, but he was too groggy from the morning to care. Once Max is all set, Harry carries him upstairs so his collar doesn’t jingle around. He plops him on the bed, and he goes right over to Y/N to curl up with her. Harry uses the bathroom quick, brushing his teeth and all that, and then slowly slides back into bed. Y/N hadn’t moved, still laying on her side facing away from him, so he just wraps himself back around her. Well, he thought she hadn’t moved. The second she heard the door close downstairs, she sprinted down to “her” bathroom to wash up and brush her own teeth. She wasn’t sure if morning snuggles would ensue, but she wanted to be fresh if they did.
A sigh leaves Harry’s lips as he settles back in, pressing nice and close to her and keeping his arm around her waist. She gives it a few minutes, and then she adjust against him. She could tell he was wearing sweatpants now, and not just his boxers. She was subtle about it, not fully pressing her ass against him, just a simple adjustment, so he didn’t think anything of it. After another couple of moments, she presses back into him, and he involuntarily presses forward towards her. He was definitely starting to get hard. He grips her waist a little tighter as he continues to press into her.
“Mm, Harry?” She rolls onto her back to look up at him.
“Hi.” He moves his hand away from her lower stomach to move some hair away from her face. “How’d you end up here, hm?” He asks softly.
“Storms really scare me, and the wind was loud.” She starts smiling. “Feel much better now.” His hand slides down to cup her jaw. “I asked first and you told me to get in.”
“I did, didn’t I…”
“Pulled me right up close to you, it was nice.” She sighs.
“Can’t remember the last time I slept so well, to be honest.”
He lets go of her and flops onto his back, groaning. She rolls onto her side and props herself up with her elbow, resting her cheek on her palm.
“You make things so difficult for yourself. I’m not your TA right now.”
“But you will be again.”
“Because you wanted me to be.”
He looks at her and pouts.
“We’ll see each other more this way.”
“But…wouldn’t it be nice to go out on dates and touch and-“
“You’ve seen how busy I am, I rarely have time to see my friends as it is. I’d feel guilty for not being able to do those things with you.”
“You have me to yourself for the next four weeks, Harry, and the girls won’t be back until a week before school starts.”
“We’d have to stop when the semester starts back up, and wait again. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that.”
“We could be discrete.”
“I’d have to be a little cold towards you.”
“You’re no stranger to that.” She scoffs.
“Y/N.” Harry’s hand finds her hip. “This is serious.”
“I’m about to graduate, from grad school, Harry. It’s not like I’m some eighteen year old girl sitting in one of your classes. I’m twenty-three, and you’re twenty-six, it’s really not that weird.”
“I’ll be twenty-seven next month.” He mutters.
“Great, then we can go out and celebrate when the time comes. Is there something in a handbook saying we can’t…do this?”
“It’s extremely frowned upon, I can assure you.” He groans again before speaking. “This is so frustrating, it’s not like you’re my first TA either, fuck, even I was a TA. Shit like this never happened. I’ve never been…attracted to someone I’ve worked with before.”
“You’re probably the only professor I’ve been into before.”
“See, right there, you had a thing for me when you were in my class only a couple of years ago, and-“
“And nothing happened then. You barely remembered me when I first came to your office. I was a flustered senior, that was it. Now…well, I know you now. I’m way less nervous around, I feel like I can really talk to you.”
“I feel the same way.” He sighs. “Fucking, Christ.” He yanks her down to her chest, and she yelps. His fingers scratch at her scalp and she nearly whimpers at how nice it feels to lay on his chest, having him play with her hair. “We can lay here a little longer, and then I need to go to move some of the snow.”
“I’m helping.” She puts a leg over his. “And you’re still a little…riled up, don’t you want to-“
“No.”
“But I could-“
“Y/N.” She looks up at him. “Just lay here with me.”
They both doze back off for a bit until Max starts barking. He must need to pee. Harry gets up and tells Y/N she can shower if she wants to.
“I’ll wait, I’ll get sweaty shoveling.”
“It’s my house, you don’t need to help.” He throws on a long sleeve shirt and thick socks. He looks at her crossing her arms over her chest. “Here.” He tosses her one of his sweaters. “Come on, Max.”
They all head downstairs. His sweater smelled just like him. She hoped she could keep this too just like with the pj’s he had given her a couple of months ago. He takes Max out quick, and then sets him back inside so he can get to shoveling. Y/N decides she could make him breakfast since he wouldn’t let her help outside.
She goes through his fridge and cupboards to find some different things. She wanted to make something that would take some time so it would be warm for him when he got inside.
“Muffins!” She says to herself as she rifles through his baking supplies.
She whips up a mixture of blueberry muffins and get them popped in the oven. She has the glorious idea to slice them in half and butt them up on his griddle when they’re done, just to give it a little crunch. Next, she cracks some eggs into the pan, and makes them sunny side down because she remembers him making them that way. She even finds some bacon to throw on the griddle.
When he comes inside, his nostrils are hit with everything she’s made. Everything was on plates on the kitchen table, and she was washing everything in the sink. He strips down to his boxers, having been drenched with sweat after digging out their cars. The snow was still falling, but it was good to get ahead of things before it all froze.
“Harry, I made…” She freezes when she looks at him. Seeing his full body in the light was much different than in the hazy darkness of his bedroom.
“I didn’t know I had blueberry muffins.” He says as he looks down at the plates.
“You, um, you didn’t, I made them.”
“From scratch?”
“Well, yeah.”
He picks up the muffin bottom and takes a bite. His eyes close for a second as he gets a good taste. It was buttery and a bit crisp from being on the griddle. It was perfection. He turns to her after he swallows.
“You’re…a literal angel.” He steps closer to her, and he notices her eyes drift down and back up. “I’ll go put some clothes, and then-“
She puts a hand on his chest. Her eyes plead with his. Just kiss me, she silently says to him. His hands fly up to her jaw, and he pulls her in, lips crashing together, finally. She melts into him immediately. His tongue slides along her bottom lip, and she opens up for him. She can taste the blueberry muffin on him, and it makes her suck on his tongue. He groans against her, and his hands slide down to her ass to get a good squeeze. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him even closer.
“Harry.” She breathes against his lips.
He gets a good grip on her and lifts her up to sit her on the counter. He quickly draws the shades for the window above the sink so anyone out shoveling wouldn’t be able to see anything. He tugs at the sweater of his he was wearing and lifts it off her. Her legs open wide for him to stand between. His lips attach to the crook of her neck, sucking, licking, biting. Her hips buck towards his as she tugs at his hair. One of his hands lifts her shirt slightly, and she thinks he’s going to feel her breasts up, but instead his fingers find the band of her pajama pants. He stops to look at her.
“Can I?”
“Yes.”
His hand dips below, and it’s almost like he’s searching for something else.
“Are you not wearing any knickers?”
“No.” She blinks at him. “I don’t usually wear underwear to bed.”
“Jesus Christ.”
She opens her legs a little wider for him, and he groans when his fingers touch around her folds, and he feels her wetness sticking to him already. His other arm wraps around behind her to hold her close to him. He plays around with her, fingers rubbing all around until his middle finger slides in. She gasps, not having expected so much so soon, but she wasn’t complaining. She clutches at his shoulders when she feels another finger slip inside. He twists them around, just getting a feel for things, and he curls them up, knowing this was what she really wanted.
“Oh! Oh my god.” Her head rolls back. He was make that come here motion right on that sweet spot of her front wall. His lips find her neck again as he continues. His thumb starting to rub on her clit. “Oh fuck, Harry, oh my god.” She didn’t realize how whiney she could sound, but he loved. She was a mess for him.
“Been thinking about this for so long.” He says into her ear.
“Me too.” She was panting now. “It feels so good.”
“Yeah? Like having my fingers buried inside you?”
Her mouth falls open. He was into dirty talk and it made her clench around him.
“Yes, oh my fucking god, yes.” She bites down on his collar bone to try to muffle any louder noises, but he was knuckle deep, fucking her with his fingers, it was no use. “Harry, I’m so close, oh fuck!”
His hand around her waist reaches up to tug at the back of her head. He wanted to watch her go through the motions. He wanted to see just how good he was making her feel. Her eyes rolls into the back of her head as she continues to beck forward. Her release was long, and so very good. She cried out, maybe a little louder than she should have, but he wasn’t telling her to keep it down. Did he want his neighbors to hear? Did he want them to know how good he could fuck someone?
He slows down his motions inside of her, helping her through the aftershocks, and then he slowly retracts his fingers. He sucks them into his mouth and then steps away from her. She was breathless. He kisses her cheeks and then helps her hop down from the counter.
“You made such a nice breakfast, let’s not let it go to waste.”
“Harry…” She watches him sit down.
“What?”
“Don’t you want to-“
“I’m all sweaty, I’d like to take a shower before going further if that’s alright with you.”
“Okay.”
She sits down with him and eats her food that she was now ravenous for.
“You really made this from scratch?”
“Yeah, I’m glad you like it.”
“It’s delicious.”
They finish eating and decide to clean up later. She follows him upstairs to his shower. He helps her out of her clothes and lets her get in first. She throws her hair up into a bun so it doesn’t get soaked. He rids himself of his boxers and gets in behind her. She moves aside so he can wash up. She presses her front to his back, and her hands roam along his long torso.
“You made me feel so good, I think it’s your turn.”
She kisses on his back while she starts to stroke his hardening length. It felt so big in her hand. Harry’s head falls to his chest, and he presses a palm to the tile wall to keep himself grounded. She runs her thumb over his tip and he groans. He grabs her hand and turns around. He backs her up to the opposite wall, cradling the back of her head as he basically slams her against it. His lips are on hers in seconds. Everything felt hot and wet, and just otherworldly. Y/N couldn’t enough. In the back of her head she kept thinking that she couldn’t believe this was happening. It wasn’t often that she got what she wanted.
“Please, fuck me.” She says against his lips.
“I don’t have any condoms.” He kisses down her neck and kneads her breasts.
“I’m on the pill.”
“S’not what I’m worried about.” He pulls his head back to look at her. “Are you clean?”
“I am, actually. I was tested last time I went to the doctor. Are you?”
“I am.” He smiles. “So…you really wanna feel all of me? Just like that?”
“Yes.” She whines. “Please.”
He kisses her and bites on her bottom lip, sucking on it as he pleases. He lifts one of legs up over his hip, and uses his other hand to line himself up. She was still plenty wet, so he’s able to push inside.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He grunts, trying to push further inside her. “So tight.”
“I…Christ, I think you’re just really big.” She gasps once he’s all the way inside.
His head drops to watch himself slowly thrust in and out of her. He bites his bottom lip at the sight. He looks back up at her, watching her features.
“Are you comfortable?”
“Could you maybe just hold my leg up?”
Harry nods and hooks his arm under leg, driving in deeper. Her head rolls back against the tile. Once he knew she was okay, he didn’t let up. He was fucking her hard and fast, only slowing up so he could hear her whimper and beg for more. Her nails were clawing at his back, and it was just egging him on. He uses his other hand to rub at her clit. She was starting to breathe heavier, moan after moan leaving her lips. He could tell she was close.
“Gonna come again for me?”
“Yes, fuck, I’m almost there, Harry!”
He sucks the tender skin of her neck between his teeth, and that’s what pushes her over the edge. Her senses totally overwhelmed. He gasps when he feels how deeply her nails dig into him from going through the motions of her orgasm. He pulls out of her quickly and comes on her stomach. He’s out of breath, pressing kisses to her cheek and neck.
“No going back now.” He says as he caresses her cheek.
“Nope.” She smiles.
He pecks her lips and turns back around to stand in the water again. Her eyes grow wide and he winces once the water cascades over him.
“Harry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize I was hurting you.”
“It didn’t hurt while it was happening, is it bleeding?” He looks over his shoulder trying to see for himself.
“Um…I broke the skin, but it’s not bloody.” She blushes. “Yikes, that’s embarrassing.”
“No it’s not.” He chuckles and moves so she can rinse her stomach off in the water. She turns it off and they both step out to towel off. “I wasn’t hurting you was I?”
“No, oh my god, it felt so good. Feels like I’m still throbbing.”
He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close. She rests her hands on his chest.
“Do you like ice skating?”
“What?” She laughs. “Yeah, I love it, why?”
“Because once this storm is over, m’taking you on a proper date.” He kisses her forehead and lets her go. “Would you like that?”
“I’d love it.”
Harry was so peculiar, Y/N thought. One second he’s saying they can’t be together and the next he wants to take her out on a date. What she didn’t know was that he had never felt quite so good while having sex. It wasn’t because she felt incredibly tight around him, it had more to do with the trust and natural connect. He felt happy, a feeling he thought would never return.
//
To Y/N’s surprise, Harry was a really good ice skater. The two of them were like a real couple. He would visit her at work, they’d go out to the bar with his friends, and they’d have sleep overs at each other’s places. He quite liked her apartment. Not to mention, he couldn’t keep his hands off her. If they were going for a brisk walk, his hand was in hers. If they were sitting through a move, his arm was around her shoulders, and of course they were having a lot of sex. Even when she had her period, he fucked her.
“Got my red wings years ago, promise it doesn’t gross me out.” He had told her.
And god, when he ate her out. Sometimes they wouldn’t even have full on sex. Sometimes they’d be on the couch, and he’d ask if she would ride her face, and then they would just sixty-nine. Sometimes she would just blow him because she liked the way his come tasted. Harry drank a fuck ton of pineapple juice, even before they started hooking up, he always had a small can of it in his office. He just liked the taste. They were just intimate in all sorts of ways, totally comfortable.
It was when Nessa and Charlotte returned that Harry’s bubbled had to burst. School would be starting in a week, and he needed to make sure his shit was together. He had been to the office a few times, working to make sure his courses were together. He and Y/N were professional and went over the class she would be the TA for.
“This is gonna have to be what it’s like when school starts again, don’t forget.” He would say. It killed her, but she would never do anything to put his job at risk, even if she didn’t think their situation was all that serious. She had to respect his wishes.
“I’d feel more comfortable if you slept over at my place since their home.”
“Harry, they know what’s been going on…Niall and Charlotte still talk, and they-“
“I don’t care, I’d rather you be here…and only on the weekends.”
“What?”
“Saturday nights can be our night. On the weekends, you’re not my TA.”
“What will I be then?”
“My girl.”
They had put the boyfriend/girlfriend label chat on the back burner, but that was all she needed to hear to know that she was really his, and he certainly didn’t want someone else trying to steal her away. He had gotten her a necklace, it was simple, but very much her style. A way of showing her how much she truly meant to him.
“Anytime during the week you’re feeling like I don’t want you because I can’t show my affection, this will be your reminder of how much I care.”
She thought it was incredibly sweet, and it was nice to have the reassurance. When classes started, it was definitely difficult. The one thing getting her through this first week was his birthday party on Saturday. Just a small thing with friends at the bar, but still. They wouldn’t have to hide there, or so she thought. Some other professors were invited to the party, which meant Harry couldn’t touch Y/N. He frowned immediately. He wasn’t in charge of the guest list. He pulls Y/N to the side before they walk into the main area.
“I’m so sorry, I promise when we get back to my place later I’m gonna love on you all night.”
“Harry, it’s okay. It’s your birthday, I’m the one that’ll be doing the loving. Go on, enjoy.”
He gives her a discrete peck on the cheek, and then walks into the main room to say hello to everyone. Y/N invited Charlotte and Nessa, so she had other people to talk to. Niall’s arm was hooked around Charlotte’s waist the entire night. Y/N and Nessa teased her every chance they got.
“I’ve been told to check in on you. Orders from the birthday boy.” Louis says to Y/N.
“Thanks.” She chuckles. “It’s okay. Next year things will be totally different.”
“Really see things lasting then, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.
“I think so, yeah. If the person who he said actually retires, I’m hoping to be able to work at the university to start out.”
“That would be great. He raves about you, you know? He’s a simple guy, likes being domestic. I think he said one of his favorite things to do with you is just cook a meal together.”
“Aw, he’s so sweet.” She pouts. “I like doing that too.”
Harry was mingling with everyone that came out for his birthday. Everyone sang to him, a cake was made him too. The second he tasted it he knew Y/N had baked it. He thought at the least they could have their picture taken together, that wouldn’t look weird.
“Harry!” One of the faculty members, Constance, comes over to him, a young woman by her side. “There’s someone I want you to meet, this is my daughter, Angie.”
“Oh! Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you.” He politely shakes her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” She blushes.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Constance winks and walks away.
“I’m so sorry about her. She conned me into coming here, hope I’m not crashing your birthday.”
“You’re not.” He looks back at Y/N and then to Angie. “So, this is a set up then?”
“She seems to think we have a lot in common.”
“And perhaps we might, but…I’m sort of seeing someone. It’s a…long distance thing, so she’s not here tonight, unfortunately.”
“Oh! She could have sworn you were single, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright. I’m sure you’re lovely, I just really like this woman and I don’t want to screw it up.” He smiles and she nods.
Harry finally makes his way over to Y/N and Louis.
“Do me a favor,” He says to Louis, taking out his phone. “Take a picture of us.”
“Are you sure?” Y/N asks.
“Positive.” He smiles and puts an arm around her shoulders. Louis snaps a couple of shots and hands Harry his phone back. “Sorry you won’t be able to post these…”
“Well, I could, my insta is private, but we can talk about it later.”
“Lou, could you drop Y/N off at my place when this is over, we drove together, but I don’t wanna risk anyone seeing us leave in the same car.”
“Course, mate.”
Harry nods and walks away to continue talking to other people.
“He acts like you’re his student. I don’t see anything wrong with you two doing what you’re doing.”
“I don’t either.” She sighs. “But he worked so hard to get where he is, I have to respect doing things his way. It was a long week, but I’m happy to be going back to his place later.”
Y/N’s lips were on Harry’s the second he let her through the door. He made sure to get home before her so they didn’t even leave at the same time. She had him pushed against the wall and his hands were all over her.
“Missed you so fucking much.” He says, walking her back towards the living room. “And I loved the watch you got me, you didn’t have to do that.”
“Wanted to.” She starts unbuttoning his shirt and pushes him down on the couch, straddling him in no time.
“Gonna let me lick it, angel?”
“Is that what you want?”
“You have no idea. You’re as sweet as the cake you made me.”
“How did-“
“Y/N, I know it’s only been a month, but I’d know your baked goods anywhere.” He smirks.
She giggles and stands up to unbutton her jeans. He yanks them down her legs along with her panties and she kicks them to the side. Harry lays down on the couch and Y/N hovers over his face. He liked it better this way. One, he didn’t have to get on his knees and suffer through the pain of being on the hardwood. Two, he liked the way Y/N would just ride his tongue.
Max was upstairs, thanks to the gate. So they didn’t have to worry about him coming down and jumping on them.
“Fuck, Harry.” She moans. “Your tongue feels so good.” She rocks her hips back and forth on him, the stubble from his chin feeling extra delicious. He moans against her, lapping up every drop. “You like that, birthday boy? Like having me on you like this?” She looks down at him and see his eyes rolling into the back of his head. He sucks on her clit harshly, and that pushes her over the edge. “Oh, fuck!”
Once she’s through, she climbs off him. Before she knows it, he’s throwing her over his shoulder to bring her upstairs. He gives her bum a smack and she squeals. Y/N left plenty of scratch marks on Harry that night.
//
Y/N was antsy for every weekend. The weeks dragged on, and the weekends went by in a flash. Then she remembered something wonderful.
“Spring break!” She says, bursting into their shared office.
“What about it?” Harry chuckles.
“Two weeks off without the students!” She leans a little closer to him. “Two weeks of me not being your TA.” She grins and then sits down in her seat.
“We’ll be grading, darling.” He says nonchalantly.
“This is a pet name free zone, remember?”
“Sorry.” He smirks. “Didn’t think ‘darling’ would get your knickers in twist.”
“Fuck off.” She rolls her eyes. “Do we seriously have to grade? Can’t we do fun things? I have time off from school, I don’t wanna do anything.”
“M’surprised you don’t want to go home or go with your friends somewhere.”
“I’ve done the whole go to Florida and get blitzed thing, I’m all set. And I may go home for a couple of days, but I don’t really like being home long. Somehow I get stuck doing chores, and I get aggravated.”
“I’ll tell you what, if we get through enough of the grading, we can do something really fun.”
“Deal.” She smiles.
Sometimes Y/N felt like this was only hard for her, but it killed Harry. He had fantasies of bending Y/N over his desk, or even just kissing her good morning. He even started letting her come over on Friday nights instead of Saturday because he just couldn’t wait any longer. He knew he was being overly careful, but he just couldn’t risk it.
//
Harry stayed true to his word. They got through a lot of the grading so drove them out to the coast for a walk on the pier at a large beach. It was still too chilly for real beach weather, but there were less people around this time of year, and some of the shops were open. Y/N clung to Harry’s arm and they both just enjoyed the fresh air and the scenery. He took her to a nice dinner, and then they walked for a bit to watch the sunset.
“This was the perfect day.” She sighs as they begin their drive back to his place.
“It really was.” His rests his hand on her thigh and gives it a squeeze. “I love you, Y/N.”
She whips her head to look at him. His eyes were focused on the road. Tears start to prick at her eyes. No one ever said that to her before. She had been in relationships, but she never really got to a point for such strong words, and she certainly never felt it back.
“I love you, too.”
“Aw, look at us.” He smiles. “Two people in love.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to say that…” She sniffles.
“Hey, no need to cry, darling.”
“I just…no one’s ever told me they loved me before.”
“What?!” He squeezes her leg tighter. “But there’s so much to love. You’re kind, caring, an incredible baker, witty, funny, brilliant-“
“Harry, please.” She chuckles. “When we get home we’re making love.”
“I’ve made love to you before, just didn’t say anything. Anytime we’re really soft and careful, I’m making love to you.”
“God.” Her face flushes, thinking of the many sensual times he’s touched her. “Well, I can’t wait to do it again.”
//
It was a Tuesday, which meant Y/N wouldn’t be in the office with Harry. She had class and then a shift at Bento’s. He wanted her to be able to nap in between. He saw that the open IDS position had been posted, and he emailed her immediately. He couldn’t wait to work on her resume and cover letter together.
“Harry?” Constance knocks on the outside of his door.
“Hey, Connie! Come on in.” He beams at her. She squints at his collar, seeing just the top of a love bite.
“Did you see that girlfriend of yours this weekend?” She asks, as she sits down.
“Sure did.” He smiles. “I saw her for a while over spring break too, told her I loved her, and she said it back. I’m on cloud nine. M’sorry things didn’t line up with your daughter, she’s a very pretty girl. My friend Lou is single, maybe-“
“Harry, Harry.” She chuckles. “No worries at all, she’s been dating around a bit. I shouldn’t have just assumed you were single, and that’s great that you two are doing so well. I think I thought you weren’t seeing anyone because with your last girlfriend…well…you had pictures of her on your desk, and you gushed about her. We don’t even know this one’s name.”
“You will soon enough.” Harry did have pictures of Y/N, they were just discrete. His lock screen was the picture of them at his birthday, and his wallpaper was just a picture of her. He could look at her whenever he wanted. “She’s, uh, finishing up grad school.”
“Oh, good for her! Anyways, I came here to chat with you about my sabbatical. Obviously it’s turned into a full year instead of just the fall semester. We’re going to have a department meeting, but I wanted to see how you’d feel about stepping in as department chair while I’m gone.”
“Are you serious?!” He perks up.
“Yes.” She chuckles.
“That would be a dream! I have so many ideas, and-“
“It would mean you wouldn’t be able to teach as many classes, and you’ll have more responsibilities over winter and summer break.”
“That’s no problem, honestly. I only go to London for a couple of weeks, I’m usually in the area for summer. I’d love to give it a go. I didn’t think I’d be next in line.”
“It’s coming from my own suggestion. I’ve been doing this a long time, and I think you’d be great at it. It would sort of be a trial, and then when I come back we could reflect on the experience.”
Harry was buzzing, absolutely buzzing. He needed to tell Y/N about his good news, so he hops in his car, and zips over to her apartment. She was vegging out in a t-shirt and panties with Nessa and Charlotte, who were both dressed in the same thing. They hear the bell on their door.
“Who the fuck is that? It’s nearly nine.” Nessa says.
“No idea.” Y/N says, getting up to check it out. She sees Harry through the peephole. Her eyebrows raise, but she opens the door. “Dr. Styles, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Y/N, I’m sorry for…” He looks her up and down. “This is how you open the door?!”
“I saw it was you.” She shrugs and steps aside to let him in.
“Hi, Harry.” Charlotte and Nessa say at the same time.
“Hi girls.” He smiles and looks at Y/N. “I got great news today and I just had to see you, can we got to your room?”
“Of course.” Once they’re both in there, they sit on her bed. “So what’s up? I got your email about the job, I’m really excited.”
“Good news for both of us today. Connie, my department chair, came by to see me today, and she wants me to be department chair while she’s on sabbatical next year while she’s gone. It would be like a trial run. Me! Department chair! I have so many ideas, this is the opportunity I’ve been hoping for.”
“Oh, Harry.” She throws her arms around him. “That’s incredible, I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks.” He holds her in his arms for a moment and then lets her go so he can stand up. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Harry…” She whines.
“Don’t start, I just wanted to see your face when I told you.”
“You could have FaceTimed me.”
“Oh.” He shakes his head. “It’s been a long day.” He chuckles.
“You can stay.”
“No, I can’t.” He caresses one of her cheeks. “I want to, but I can’t. Soon, babe, so soon.”
“Um…” She stands up and looks down. “If I get this job…I mean…the lease for this place is up June first, and…well…the girls are going to be working in schools, and won’t need to live here anymore, and…I mean, I could find new roommate and sign a new lease...”
“Or, you could come move in with me.” He takes her hands in his and kisses her knuckles.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I want you to. I want you around all the time. Being apart from you during the week really fucks with how clingy I naturally am.” He smirks.
“I like it, though. We spend all weekend in your big, comfy bed.”
“Look forward to it every week.” He sighs happily. “Just gotta get through you walking across that stage, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright.” He kisses her cheek. “I love you, sweet dreams.”
“I love you too.”
//
Harry helped Y/N apply for the job, and after two nerve-wracking rounds of interviews, and two weeks of pure stress that even Harry’s cock couldn’t squash, she got the call that she got the job. Harry took Y/N out to celebrate, they both nearly cried when she got the call. She told her parents and they were ecstatic.
“In a few years, if you feel like it, you could get your PhD for free through the university.” He says to her as they’re laying in bed.
“Hm, three degrees from the same place.” She taps her chin. “Doesn’t seem like a great idea.”
“If you can do it for free, you should. It was the smartest thing I ever did. Well that, and giving into you.”
“Giving into me?!” She laughs. “You make it sound like I seduced you.”
“I fell for you so hard. You’re just so wonderful.” He pouts. “Are your parents excited to meet me in a couple of weeks? I’m excited to meet them.”
“They’re definitely curious to see who the guy I’m going to be moving in with is.”
“Are you going to miss the girls?”
“So much! They’ve been great to live with. Nessa’s moving in with Andy. She found a college in the city he works in to teach at. She’s so good at putting productions together, I’m excited for her. Charlotte may be in the area, though. Something tells me the school she’ll be teaching at is close by to Niall.”
“I’ve never seen him so smitten. He takes the more serious part of a relationship slow, but once he’s in he’s in.” He pulls her closer to him. “Everything’s falling into place. I’ve been working with Connie to get prepared for the fall, and I couldn’t be more excited.”
“I’m really proud of you.”
“I’m proud of you too, babe.”
//
The day they had both been waiting for was finally here. The graduate ceremony was in the evening, separate from the undergraduate ceremony. Y/N wouldn’t be able to see Harry until after the ceremony. She was busy with her parents and younger siblings. Harry may have clapped and cheered extra loud when she walked across the stage. Most people around him thought it was just because she had been his TA for an entire year. Literally no one suspected more was going on between them. After today it wouldn’t matter anyways.
There was a champagne reception after the ceremony. Y/N easily found her family.
“We’re so proud of you honey. Another degree, a new job, and you’re moving in with a guy!” Her mom says.
“I’m still not thrilled about the last part. We don’t even know him.” Her dad says.
“But I do, so it’s a good thing I’m the one living with him, not you.”
Harry makes his way through the crowd over to her and her family. He takes a deep breath, and when she spots him she squeals. She runs over and jumps into his arms. They kiss as he swings her around.
“You did it!”
“I did it!” They both jump up and down for a moment. “Come on.” She holds his hand to bring him over to everyone. “Harry, these are my parents, and my two younger siblings. Ellie is going to be a senior in college this fall, and Ryan is going to be a sophomore. He’s actually transferring here in the fall.”
“That’s great! Hi, it’s so nice to meet all of you.” He shakes everyone’s hands.
“Damn, a PhD.” Ellie whispers to her sister and winks. “Nice job.” The girls giggle together.
They all decide to go out to dinner together to get to know each other better. Harry and Y/N would be meeting up with Charlotte, Nessa, and the others at the bar once dinner was over. Y/N explains how they waited a while to make things official because Harry wanted to make sure things remained professional. Harry easily impressed her parents. He was incredibly smart and knew how to work people over. Even her dad was happy with him.
Y/N got pretty drunk at the bar with her friends, and Harry was able to keep his arms around her all night without a care in the world. When he got her inside his place, he couldn’t stop kissing her and telling her much he loved her over and over. She was excited to start her new job in a couple of weeks, and he was excited she genuinely wanted to stay, and wasn’t just doing this for him. They would spend the time before starting her job to get her all moved in. They even talked about getting a larger place at some point.
“I can’t wait to snuggle with Mac every night.” She giggles as she gets into bed.
“Hey, what about me?” He pouts.
“I guess you’re nice to snuggle with too.” She jokes.
“Mhm.” He kisses on her and hovers over her. “My girl’s got her master’s. You’re so fucking smart, it turns me on.”
“Really?”
“When we did those mock interviews in my office I couldn’t stop thinking about fucking you.”
“Does this mean we can get a little sneaky in your office now?” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Or are you staying firm with your open door policy?”
“Think I may have to reconsider it, but only for you.”
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