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kouomi · 3 years

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Summary: Atsumu looks back on your relationship and finds himself longing for the person he called home (Miya Atsumu x f!reader)

Warnings: lil bit of fluff, heavy angst, mentions of death, fighting

Word count: 2,708

A/N: italicized parts are in the past! lil heads up this is not edited!! Someone please hug Tsumu cause I made myself sad writing this

My Masterlist

Posted: March 14th 2021, 8:30 AM EST

“‘Tsumu!” You gasp as your flung onto the couch, a chorus of laughter following your cry. The two of you tumbled around for a few moments before Atsumu pins your hands to your side, a leg on either side of your hips as he grins at his victory.

“Don’t you dare.” You warn, knowing all too well what the mischievous glint in his eye meant. Your warning is too late, however, as his hands move to attack your sides sending you into a flurry of laughter. Tears pricked at your eyes as he mercilessly continued to tickle you, his own laughs of amusement being heard over yours.

“What was that? I don’t think I heard ya.”

“You win! Stop!”

Seemingly satisfied with your call of forfeit Atsumu draws his hands away from your sides, only to fall on top of you making a squeal pass your lips. His arms loop around your waist as you tried to shove

Atsumus eyes nervously scanned the large crowd as he stepped out on to the court, the loud cheers and blaring band falling upon deaf ears as all he could hear was his thoughts whizzed by faster than he could focus on one. It was his first game of high school and while he was able to hide it well, below the surface of his facade he was swelling with nerves and worries. What if he messed up his serve? What if he did something to lose the game for the third years? What if something he did this game made the entire team turn on him like they did in middle school?

Before he could fully process what was happening the referee passed him the ball, hundreds of eyes following its course into his hands. Taking a deep breath, Atsumu spun the ball in his hands.

Don’t mess up.

How many steps do I take?

Is this too far?

What if I throw it up wrong?

Don’t. Mess. Up.

“Go Atsumu!”

The sudden call of his name pulls him out of his thoughts, his attention being drawn back towards the crowd. After a few moments of searching his eyes meet yours, a sense of calm washing over him as you smile back at him. She came, he thought to himself, his own smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. With you there, surely everything would be

“Y/n, can ya please let me in?”

“Go away!”

Atsumu sighs as he leans his head on the bathroom door, his hand once again trying the handle though the lock prevents it from turning.

It was a stupid fight, one that’d been building up over time that suddenly boiled over causing you both to explode at each other. Both of you had said things you didn’t mean, harsh words being thrown at each other since you arrived home. Your throats had gone raw from trying to speak over each other but you both refused to back down, tunnel vision preventing you from hearing one another out as you pressed to prove you were right.

Looking on what you’d said now having been sitting outside the bathroom for about an hour he understood why you’d been upset and, while he didn’t quite want to admit it, you were in the right.

While he knew this now, it didn’t help what had gotten him in this situation in the first place. At the peak of your screaming match he found himself blinded by anger and words he’d never thought he’d ever say to you passed his lips, rolling off his tongue before he realized what he was saying.

“All I’m saying is I want to spend some more time with you! Is that really too much to ask?” You asked, exasperated.

“Ya knew when we started dating how busy I am!” Atsumu exclaimed, “Why are ya suddenly so mad about it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because you spend more time with your fan girls than with your actual girlfriend!”

“Really? Yer pulling that? It’s not my fault yer so needy Y/n, I’m not gonna drop my practices just to make ya happy all the time!”

“If you think I’m needy why don’t you go date one of the girls who keep throwing themselves at you?”

“Maybe I should! They’d probably be less annoying than ya!”

“‘Tsumu, wait-“

“What? Finally realizing how easily I could replace ya? Yer the one who suggested it, remember?” He scoffs, ignoring how you’d shrunken, “Ya should be thankful for the time ya get with me, cause if not there’s other girls who could take yer place. I don’t need ya.”

As soon as he said it he froze, almost not believing that those words had actually come out of his mouth. The look on your face unfortunately proved it to be true, however, as he could see the way it seemed as if all of the fight and anger had been drained out of you leaving you with a hollow expression. You but your lip as you shook your head and shoved your way past him, ignoring all attempts he made at stopping you as you slammed the bathroom door in his face.

“Baby, I’m sorry okay? Can ya unlock the door so we can talk?”

“Leave me alone, Atsumu.”

He felt a pull at his heart at the slight crack in your voice followed by quiet sniffling, guilt threatening to swallow him whole as he realized you were crying because of him.

Unable to put up with you locking yourself away any longer, Atsumu grabbed a bobby-pin from your room and got to work unlocking the door with it, successfully doing so after a few minutes. Almost as soon as the door swung open he’s kneeling on the ground beside where you were curled into a ball, frantically scanning his mind for something to do.

“Y/n...” He says, reaching a hand out to brush your hair away from your face.

He cringes when you flinch, temporarily drawing back before reaching out again this time wrapping his arms around your shuttering frame. Though you temporarily resisted, ultimately you found yourself melting into his embrace as you adjusted to wrap your arms around his torso. Atsumu pulls you into his lap, one of his hands cradling the back of your head as you cried into his shirt while the other ran up and down your back. The two of you sat there until your tears slowed to a stop, Atsumu not daring to move a muscle in fear of scaring you off.

“You really are an asshole, Atsumu.” You mumble, your grip on the fabric of his tshirt tightening.

“I know.” He sighs, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean any of that. Yer the best girlfriend I could ever ask for, no one else even begins to compare. And yer right, I’m not spending enough time with ya but I’ll try to, okay? I love ya so much.”

“I

The two of you lay on the couch in your living room, the only sound being that of the TV you’d turned on for background noise when your boyfriend had appeared at your front door. You’d anticipated his arrival, having watched the game against Karasuno on your phone the day before and such expected the defeated and angry atmosphere that surrounded him.

Atsumu lay on top of you with his arms wrapped firmly around your waist, holding himself in place against you. One of your hands rested on the back of his head that rested on your chest as the other ran up and down his back, paying attention to rub in the patterns you knew he liked. He hadn’t said a word since he arrived other than a short “missed ya”, having passed all welcomes in favor of clinging to you, his body melting into yours. After the loss at nationals he had wanted nothing more than to curl up in your arms, the long trip home seeming to go slower as he counted down the seconds until he could finally be here.

“You did really good.” You whisper, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he tensed slightly. “I’m proud of you.”

“It wasn’t good enough.” Atsumu says, voice weak compared to its usual light hearted tone. “I lost the game for everyone.”

“You weren’t the only one playing, ‘Tsum. It isn’t all one person’s fault. But you are one of the reasons you guys were even able to get that far, yeah? Don’t beat yourself up over one play.”

It’s quiet for a moment as he processes your words, as if trying to decide if he’ll believe you or not. He moves his head upwards so he can nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, the feeling of a tear falling onto your skin pulling at your heart as you give him a small squeeze.

“It’s just- it was-“ He stutters, his words shaky and ultimately cut off by a sharp intake of breath as he tries to hold back his tears.

“I know.” You murmur, “But you’re still the best setter there is, y’know? And the best boyfriend, best teammate, best looking; you’re so much more than that one game.”

“...Best looking twin?” He asks quietly.

You laugh, “Yes.”

The sound fills his ears, providing him with a sense of comfort no words or actions had been able to. You always knew the right things to say, to do, to comfort him and make him feel better when he was at his lowest and felt ready to give up. Something about you warded off all of the negatives and filled the air around you with warmth. Something about you felt like home. Something about you made him sure that one day, he was going to m

that’s how things between the two of you went, always being cut off too soon. All of his memories with you, each I love you, each kiss, each quiet afternoon spent cuddling on the couch watching movies, everything was ended before it was supposed to. Even your relationship went that way, being cut off, suddenly forced to a stop before it could even really begin. Each memory was halted right in the middle, part of each story missing making them feel impartial and almost fake with holes in their plots and the endings missing. Everything was so vivid, yet so vividly fading at the same time it terrified him that he was losing what little left he had of you. Details faded away so all he was left was glimpses of a memory that didn’t even feel like his anymore; left looking through a foggy window on to a life he wished he still had.

Every day without you felt bland. No longer did he have your soft voice scratchy with sleep whispering in his ear in the mornings; your fingers lacing with his as you wandered around the shops; your body searching for his warmth during the night. The apartment that had once belonged to the both of you was now void of your glowing presence, the air stiff and too quiet without you. His happy, care-free smile had faded from his face and become less frequent as he found himself wondering what he was supposed to do without the one person he could call home.

“I got invited to play for the Olympics next year.” Atsumu says, not quite as enthusiastic as it should be, “Ya always said I’d get there one day.”

No response comes.

“It really sucks without ya here, Y/n.” He continues, feeling his throat start to constrict, “I miss ya. A lot.

It’s already been a year, can ya believe that? I don’t want to believe it. A whole year with ya gone. It’s just... not right.

Sometimes I forget for a few minutes, and I think yer gonna be there when I open the door just like ya always were. It scares me, cause I can’t remember everything, even yer voice is a little gone without the videos. I could never forget yer smile though, even with all the pictures. I think that’s my favorite thing about ya.

I really took everything for granted. I wish I could go back and just hold ya, one more time. One more kiss. One more time hearing ya say I love you. Just something to hold onto. It’s not right, nothings right without ya here. Ya were the reason I was always so happy, ya made everything seem so much brighter, but now it’s just... bland. It’s like I can’t be happy without ya, I don’t wanna be happy without ya.” He stops to wipe his face of the tears that’d begun to fall, though new ones quickly slip into the tracks of the old.

“I wish you’d just come back. Sometimes I get mad at ya, for leaving me here alone, but ya know I can’t stay made atcha for long. It just hurts, knowing yer not coming back... Yer not coming back.”

He hits his lip, the air in his lungs feeling to heavy as if it’s trying to suffocate him from the inside. Everything falls on him at once, like a thick sheet of snow covering everything in sight and leaving him cold and numb yet burning and screaming at the same time. You’re gone. His Y/n, his beautiful wonderful, amazing Y/n, was gone. Everything hurt, every breath, every small movement of his body as it shook with sobs, every nerve; everything hurt as he longed for something that was so painfully taken away.

“Please Y/n/n... I don’t know what to do without ya.” He cries, eyes squeezing shut, “I miss ya, just please... come back to me.”

Still no response. The only sound being Atsumus cries muffled by the snow he sat buried in.

Atsumu barely notices the hand placed on his shoulder, only acknowledging the other person when they call his name.

“Hey.” Osamu starts, glancing down at his brother with eyes heavy with concern before flickering back up. “Do ya wanna minute?”

He doesn’t respond, another cry being answer enough as he feels his body collapsing in on itself. Risking his legs giving out beneath him, Atsumu stands and throws his arms around his twin, desperately clinging to him as if trying to find an anchor to the world. Osamu didn’t say anything as he held the blonde, feeling his own tears prick at the corners of his eyes at seeing his brother so torn and distraught.

He’d known this was going to happen today, that no amount of words would even begin to fill the void within him and every attempt at comfort would fall upon deaf ears so he didn’t try. Instead, he sat there. For a time unbeknownst to the pair they sat on a bench Osamu was able to coax Atsumu towards, no words daring break the silent agreement they’d made to not speak. They sat there until Atsumus heavy sobs eventually eased to a dull crying and he pulled away, eyes meeting his brothers for a moment as if to thank him before he let his head fall back on to the bench to face the sky.

“Come on.” Osamu said quietly, standing and waiting for the other to follow. He does after a moments pause, eyes lingering on the grave he’d sat beside and tracing over your name before he lets out a heavy, shaky sigh and started walking away, ignoring his mind that screamed at him to stay.

“Let’s get ya home.”

Atsumu obliged but he knew that part of him lay within you, that where ever you went, no matter how far was where his home was; that, without you, away from you, he’d never truly be home again. So he left, leaving with you the pieces of himself he’d given away and the memories that failed to fully reanimate with hopes that maybe, if he couldn’t be with you now at least you could find your way back to him, waiting for you to fall into his arms and bring him wherever you had settled; the place he so desperately longed for: home.

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stillwinchester · 3 years

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Destiel AU - toddler!jack, mechanic!dean

“Good morning, sir!”

Dean looked up from his newspaper straight at the kid with a teddy bear. He had no idea where it came from. He was just sipping his coffee and reading the news, when some stranger toddler appeared on the seat in front of him.

“Umm, mornin'?” he greeted him, still confused.

“I have a birthday today,” said kid and grinned. Dean looked around, but nobody seemed to bother with his situation.

“Congratulations, but you shouldn't be alone here. Where's your mom?”

“In Heaven. She's watching over me, like an angel,” kid explained, and after that kicked him accidentally under the table. Dean dusted his knee off.

“And what about your dad?”

“There!” he pointed to the counter, where was standing a dark hair man in the trench coat. “He's buying birthday's milkshakes. Strawberry!”

“Yeah?” Dean relaxed a little bit, good that kid wasn't alone here. “And how old are you?”

“Four! It's more than three,” he said cheerfully. “Look, I have The Marvelous Marvin. He can talk!”

Kid showed him a teddy bear and pressed his belly. A plushie toy said: 'Hello!', his father turned around immediately and came quickly to Dean's table. He picked the kid up and spoke to him:

“Jack, I told you, don't harass people.” And then to Dean: “My apologies.”

“Nothing happened... He's a great kiddo.”

The man tried to smile, but he was too much embarrassed, so it lookes more like a grimace. Jack, on the other hand, seemed not to care about anything, playing with his teddy bear.

Dean pulled something out from his pocket and asked: “Hey, Jack, do you like stickers?”

“Yeah!”

“So, I have something for you. Happy birthday, buddy!”

It was a commercial sticker with a big text "Singer Auto Repair Shop", but there was also a picture of Chevy Impala which was what Jack noticed first.

“A car!” exclaimed Jack, putting a sticker on his teddy bear at once.

“Jack, what do you say?” reminded him his father.

“Thank you, sir!”

“You're welcome!”

The man put Jack on the seat at the next table and went back to Dean.

“I'm sorry once again, he's a little too much excited,” he excused for his son.

“Sure, nothing happened.” Dean shrugged. “I'm Dean, by the way.”

“Castiel.” They shook their hands, and Dean smiled at him.

“It's nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Cas smiled back. “I'm not gonna take more of your time. Have a nice day.”

Cas sat across of his son. The waitress had brought their milkshakes already. The kid started drinking, but a few seconds later he was talking again.

“Dad, can I try yours?”

Dean heared a chuckle, he looked at Cas and caught how he was rolling his eyes.

“They're the same, Jack.”

“Please... I have a birthday,” begged the kid with a sweet voice.

“All right.” Cas gasped, but changed their milkshakes.

“Yours is better,” admitted Jack, and Cas laughed once again.

Dean finished his coffee and walked away a few minutes later, one more time looking at them. The family picture, a lovely and cute view...

Cas knew shit about cars, but he was certainly sure his truck shouldn't make so weird noises.

“Crap,” he murmured. Did he say it loud? Crap! He turned to the back seats where Jack was sitting in the child chair. “You didn't hear anything, Jack.”

“That's not true! You said: crap!” said excited Jack. “Crap, crap! Crap, crap!”

Great! Now his kid expanded his vocabulary.

“I think grocery needs to wait. Somebody needs to check our car.”

“Maybe Marvin? He's a mechanic. He has a badge.” Jack pointed at the sticker on his teddy bear.

“Oh, honeybee, I think we need the other specialist, but thank Marvin for his service.”

Cas pulled out the phone to find some Auto Repair Shop on the internet when he realized that actually Marvin could help. He gave a quick look at the sticker and read an address.

“I have no idea how to fix a car. Sometimes I even forget to refuel it,” explained Cas to the old man with a baseball cap. He had found out earlier it’s Bobby Singer, owner of this Auto Shop. For a moment, he felt disappointment because deeply in his heart he had hoped he was going to see Dean from the milk bar again.

“I’ll call my best mechanic. We can handle it,” Bobby assured him, and after that he turned around and yelled: “Dean, we have a client, can you come here?”

Dean got out from under one of the cars. He was wearing work clothes, and his face was dirty from grease, but Cas recognized him at once. Jack, who was standing next to him, was too busy with his teddy bear to notice him.

“Oh, Cas. Hi,” said Dean, frowning with confusion. Probably he didn’t expect to see him again.

“Hello, Dean.”

“And how are you, Jack?” he asked a toddler.

“Good! Marvin took us here!”

“Yeah, so let’s see what’s wrong with a car.”

Dean opened the hood and checked the car. It didn’t take him a lot of time before he found cause of trouble.

“It's the engine...” explained Dean.

“Crap!” said Jack, and Dean looked at him surprised.

“Whoa, isn't it a big word for so little guy?”

“I'm big now! And dad taught me that!”

Cas’ cheeks turned red at once, and he mumbled: “No, I... I didn't.”

“You did, daddy. Don't you remember? Truck was broken.”

Dean chuckled, but he was not going to torture him any longer.

“Okay, I need at least half an hour. You can wait there if you want.” He pointed to a bench near a big tree.

“All right, thank you.”

Dean started working, but his eyes were heading to Cas and Jack all the time. He saw how they were talking and playing with a teddy bear, laughing all the time. They looked so happy, and Dean found himself jealous of what they had.

When he finished, he called them and Bobby. Cas paid for the repair and thanked him for help. They didn't go at once, so Dean used an opportunity to talk with him a little longer.

“He's similar to you, like Mini-Cas,” said Dean, and Cas smiled with proud.

“Actually, he's not my biological son... His mother was my very good friend, but she died in childbirth, so I took care of him,” he explained.

“What about his biological father?”

“It's my brother, but I don't know where he is. He ran away when he found out Kelly was pregnant.”

“This one,” started Bobby and patted Dean on the arm. “I kinda adopted him and his brother. And they're good men. I think I did no bad job raising them.”

“Yeah, you were always a better father to me than John.”

Bobby squeezed Dean’s shoulder, and walked away to talk with Jack. Cas looked at his son with love in his eyes.

“It must be hard, huh? Be a lonely father with a toddler?”

“Sometimes. But I've never regretted this. He's my whole life.”

After a long minute of silence, Dean decided to go one step further. He scratched a back of his neck and cleared the throat.

“Listen, Cas, I'll give you my private number...” he started, but then added quickly: “You know if something would be wrong with a car, just call me.”

Shit! It wasn't supposed to look like this... He chickened out.

“Umm, thank you,” said Cas, putting the card with his number in his coat's pocket. “Dean, one more.”

“Yeah?”

“Would it be okay if I call you on another matter?”

“Which means?”

“If I want to, for example, invite you for a milkshake?”

Dean's face brightened with a smile. So, it wasn't like he was the only one who was interested.

“Yeah... it would be okay, Cas.”

“So, I think I'll call you.”

“I will be waiting.”

Cas gave him a huge smile one more time before he went to Jack.

“Jack, we need to come home. Let's go!” He took him on his arms.

“Okay, daddy!” Jack raised his hand and waved with it. “Bye, bye, Dean!”

“See you later, buddy! Oh, and I have another sticker for you,” said Dean.

“It's like a doctor, but without needles.”

“Yeah, I'm a car doctor.”

“Cool!”

They drove away, this time without a noisy engine, and Cas thought it's a very good day.

Cas put Jack to bed, read him the bedtime stories and kissed his forehead. He turned the light off, but stayed there a few minutes more, just to look at his sleeping kid.

Yes, like he said before, being a single father wasn't always easy, but he would never change his life. At least not in this area. Because, of course, he would like to find somebody who could love Jack like their own son, and somebody who could love him...

Sometimes, especially in the nights like this, he felt lonely, it wasn't like he has a lot of time to meet new people, not to mention dates. That's why he went to the kitchen to make a call.

“Yeah?” asked Dean, and Cas couldn't help smile, hearing his voice.

“Hello, Dean. It's Cas. I hope I don't call too late.”

Answer came almost immediately.

“No. It's never too late.”

Part 2

#tbh i don't know why i wrote this #destiel fic #toddler jack #destiel au #castiel #dean winchester #deancas #spn #supernatural #fanfiction #ficlet #jack kline #mine

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yourlocalfictionalenthusiast · 3 years

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IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART SEVEN

:Masterlist:

Warnings: none, I think :)

A/N: ahh we’re getting dangerously close to Unsaid Emily territory, folks. Also idk if I’ve said this before but feedback is always welcomed and appreciated! <3

“This isn’t gonna work.”

You said as you watched the boys practice their apology song for Julie for the dozenth time. Alex just glared at you in response as he crouched behind Luke, and you tried to contain your laughter as the side gate clicked open and Julie walked into the studio.

Reggie immediately burst into song and Luke followed, then Alex popped out from behind Luke’s back. Once the song was over, Julie stared at them with a blank expression.

“In case you missed it,” Reggie said. “We’re really sorry.”

Julie sighed. “Yeah, I got that part.”

“Look, it wasn’t okay that we flaked on the dance,” Luke explained. “We know we let you down.”

“Yeah, we never wanted to disappoint you.” Alex said. “You’re the best thing that happened to us since we became ghosts.”

“In hopes that you’ll rejoin the band,” Luke pulled the poster out from behind his back. “We booked a new gig.”

Julie didn’t say anything as she ran her fingers across the paper. You could tell that she was still upset by the way she kept her eyes trained on it.

Reggie cleared his throat. “It’s a mind-blowing, life-changing gig.”

“There’s going to be all kinds of managers there. All we gotta do is blow their minds and we’ll be living the dream.”

“So this is important to you, huh?” Julie said, finally looking up at them. “Like the dance was important to me?”

Alex stepped forward. “We know we messed up.”

“But we need you in the band.” Luke finished and Julie rolled her eyes.

“Of course you do. Because without me, no one would be able to see you play.” Julie said, turning to Luke. “I thought the music we were making was special, but you’re too obsessed with your past to even care.”

“I do care!” Luke insisted. “We have a chance at greatness. I don’t want it to slip away from us again.”

“So then why did you bail on me and (Y/n) to get back at Trevor?” Julie crossed her arms as Luke stared at her with sad eyes. “I’ll tell you why. Because the only thing you care about is yourself.”

Luke glued his eyes to his shoes and Julie whirled around and marched back towards the house with the flyer still clutched in her fist.

“Luke-” You stepped towards him but he phased away, leaving the studio clouded in sadness.

“Where do you think he’s going?” Reggie asked.

“Where do you think?” Alex sighed. “Remember what today is?”

Even though Luke had never really cared about birthdays, you knew that his eighteenth was one he had been looking forward to all his life. Your heart broke for him when you realized that this was the way he would have to spend it.

You tugged his old jacket over your shoulders and looked towards the house. “We need to tell her.”

“About his mom?” Alex asked and you nodded.

“He can’t spend his birthday like this.”

Alex and Reggie both looked a little hesitant but nodded, following your lead as you poofed into the Molina’s living room.

Julie was on the couch, pouring over a textbook. She didn’t even look up when you all phased in front of her.

“Hey.” Alex approached her carefully. “Got a second?”

Julie kept her focus on the book and you sat next to her, using your best pleading look. “Julie, please.”

She finally looked up at you. “(Y/n), I already told you, I can’t be in the band.”

“I know.” You said. “But just, listen to us for a second, okay?”

Julie closed her book and set it on the table before looking at you all expectantly.

“Luke isn’t as selfish as you think.” Alex said and Reggie nodded in agreement.

“You remember that song in his journal? About Emily?” You asked and Julie’s eyebrows furrowed. “We wanna show you who it’s about.”

The Patterson house was almost exactly like you remembered it.

Dozens of memories swirled around in your mind as you walked up the pathway to the patio and crouched behind a chair. You could see Emily and Mitch in the window, Emily blinking tears out of her eyes as she frosted a triple chocolate fudge cake, Luke’s favorite.

And as if that wasn’t enough to break your heart, Luke sat on the counter with his head propped up against his knees.

“Emily is his mom?” Julie asked, her voice light.

“Yeah, he comes here a lot.” Alex said. “He thinks we don’t know, but we’ve been following him.”

You close your eyes as a pit of guilt opens in your stomach. You had been so wrapped up in your stupid feelings that you didn’t notice how much Luke was hurting.

“All he does is sit and watch them.” Reggie explained. “They don’t do much though.”

“They’re eating cake. That’s something.” Julie said.

“It’s a birthday cake.” You managed, avoiding everyone’s eyes as their heads snapped towards you. “For him.”

“And it’s even harder for him ‘cause he left on bad terms.” Alex said. “His parents didn’t want their seventeen year old in a rock band. So he ran away.”

You watched as Mitch lit a candle in the center of the cake and gripped Emily’s hand across the table. Luke leaned forward and blew it out immediately, making them share a look of confusion.

“That’s why Luke was so mad.” Reggie twisted his fingers. “If Trevor gave him credit for the songs, then they would’ve known that it was all worth it.”

“That his dreams were worth chasing.” You finished, another wave of guilt washed over you. You hadn’t been thinking about Luke’s parents when you fought with him about the old songs, and now you wished you could take everything back and haunt the hell out of Bobby.

Emily and Mitch blew out the candle again and Luke sank back into his chair, staring at his parents as tears streamed down his face. Julie sniffled next to you and more than ever, you wished you could hug your friend.

Alex stood up. “We all know how much it hurts when someone who should’ve had your back completely lets you down. We never meant to make you feel like that.”

“We love our band, and Luke does too.” Reggie said. “Please give us another chance.”

Julie took one last look into the window before she nodded. “Okay.”

You all shared sad smiles and you cleared your throat. “Well, then I think we have a gig to rehearse for.”

As you walked back into the studio, you couldn’t stop thinking about your fight with Luke.

How it must’ve felt for him to feel like you weren’t on his side when he was just trying to make his parents proud. You had been so caught up in your feelings of him ignoring you and being late to the dance that you didn’t stop to think about how he was feeling.

“Actually, guys,” You walked over to the couch and shrugged Luke’s old jacket on your shoulders. “Start without me. There’s something I have to do.”

“Oh?” Alex teased. “I wonder what?”

“And if it has anything to do with our birthday boy.” Reggie finished, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Do you guys want to die again?” You said and they both raised their hands in surrender. “I’ll be back soon.”

They just smirked at you knowingly as you felt yourself poof away into your old bedroom.

It was exactly the way you had left it.

Old pictures and countless band posters plastered all over your walls, a messy bed, and clothes everywhere. It was like time had been frozen in here, and as you looked around, it almost felt like you were alive again.

Like at any minute, your mom would walk in and kiss your cheek. Or there would be a soft knock at your window and it would be Luke sneaking over for movie night.

But then reality came crashing back in when you looked over to your dresser and you spotted the thing you had come for.

It was a small, dirty shoebox covered in faded stickers. You were thankful that your mom must’ve recognized it as something important and didn’t throw it away. No doubt she remembered helping you dig it up in 1995, just days before the Orpheum show.

You looked down and smiled at the words carved on the surface of the lid in Luke’s handwriting,

Luke and (Y/n)’s Time Capsule!

Open on 18th birthday :)

You snorted, realizing his writing was exactly the same as when he was six. You wiped the surface of the box off with your sleeve and tucked it under your arm. Technically, you weren’t meant to open this until you were eighteen, but also, you were technically dead, so you figured your six year old self would forgive you.

With one last look at your old bedroom, you poofed away from your house and into the studio’s loft where you quickly tucked the shoebox behind an old guitar case before making your way down the ladder.

Julie’s voice floated through the air and you joined in, taking your spot next to her on the piano bench. She gave you a teasing look and you jokingly glared at her as the song ended and Luke suddenly phased into the chair across from you.

“Julie?” He asked, stunned. “What made you come back?”

“I realized that music is important to all of us.” Julie shrugged. “We’ve already lost so much, we can’t lose this too.”

Luke nodded, a trace of a smile on his face. “Thanks.”

“Oh, and happy birthday, by the way.” She said and Luke smiled as he grabbed his guitar. “Let’s go from the pre-chorus.”

Alex started the countdown.”1...2...3...4!”

You looked over at Luke, expecting him to be looking down at his guitar as he played but his eyes met yours. He winked as he came closer to sing with you, making you laugh. As he stopped in front of the piano, you realized that while it sucked, being a little distant from Luke had it’s advantages.

At least then, you didn’t have to pretend that every little thing he did made your heart skip a beat.

“Knock, knock.” You called out from behind Julie’s bedroom door, pulling Reggie’s arm back from inside the room.

“Come in.” She said and you all walked through the door.

“What are you still doing up here?” Luke asked when he saw her snuggled up in her bed. “We go on in like twenty minutes.”

Julie sighed. “I lied to my dad so I’m stuck in here all night.”

“But we were just at the venue.” Alex said. “It was packed with people and managers. It’s kinda crazy.”

“My aunt is right downstairs.” Julie crossed her arms. “There’s no way I can get past her.”

Luke scoffed as he walked over to the window and pulled it open. “Well, it’s a good thing that you’re not taking the stairs.”

Julie’s jaw dropped, looking at you all with wide eyes. “I can’t sneak out!”

You sat down on the bed across from her. “C’mon, Molina. Live a little.”

Her eyes went back and forth between you and the boys hesitantly but she eventually gave in with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

By the time you all got to the venue, it was even more packed than before.

Every table was full and you could tell by their clothes that they were definitely in the music business. Your attention was pulled to the stage when upbeat music started playing as Carrie started to sing.

You turned to talk to Julie but then there was a bright flash on stage and Alex landed in the middle of the dancers. Julie looked around confused, but you just laughed as he followed Carrie around the stage and copied her moves.

You laughed and cheered for him. “Woo! Go, Alex!”

As the song ended, he posed and bowed before poofing back to your group with a pink tint on his cheeks. “I was just doing that for you guys.”

Reggie snickered. “Uh-huh. You can stop smiling now.”

Julie watched Carrie leave the stage with a conflicted look on her face. “I’m not gonna lie, that was pretty good.”

Flynn nodded. “Yeah, I kinda forgot why I hate her so much.”

As if on cue, Carrie came strutting off stage and laughed as she looked Flynn and Julie over. “Hey, girls. Isn’t past your bedtime?”

“Now I remember.” Flynn said with a stiff smile.

Carrie looked over at Julie. “If you’re looking for Nick, he didn’t come.”

More than ever, you wished someone could see you purely so you could give her the finger. Being a jerk for no reason was bad enough, but taunting Julie about Nick was unfair.

“Actually, that’s not why I’m here.” Julie said as she took a step closer.

On the stage, the accouncer spoke into the mic. “Alright, looks like we have one more act tonight. ‘Julie and The Fat Ones’.”

Carrie and her group laughed and you turned to Luke, dropping your voice to a whisper.

“Okay, I know it’s not the right time. But I totally told you that would happen.” You teased, thinking back to that morning when you filled out the sheet and Luke insisted that his handwriting would be legible enough.

Luke scrunched his nose at you. “Shut up.”

You snorted as Julie walked up to the stage and sat in her spot behind the piano. She put her mic in the holder and took a deep breath. “It’s actually ‘Julie and The Phantoms’.”

When the crowd quieted down, Julie started to play the opening. The gentle piano bored some people and you watched as they turned back to their conversations. But then Julie started to sing and caught everyone’s attention.

“Hearts on fire,

We’re no liars,

So we say what we want to say.

I’m awakened,

No more fakin’

So we push all our fears away,”

You felt yourself getting more excited as it came closer to your cue. You hadn’t played for this many people since you died, and even though you were a little nervous, you were filled with a need to perform again.

“Don’t know if I’ll make it cause I’m falling down under,

Close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder,

I wanna fly, come alive,

Watch me shine!”

You all appeared on the stage and if people weren’t paying attention before, they definitely were now. You heard shocked gasps over the music and smiled, grabbing your mic and joining in on the chorus.

“I got a spark in me,

Hands up if you can see,

And you’re a part of me,

Hands up if you’re with me,

Now till eternity,

Hands up if you believe,

Been so long and now

We’re finally free.”

You watched as Luke walked over to Alex’s drum set, playing along with Reggie as you and Julie made it to the front of the stage.

“We’re all bright now,

What a sight now,

Coming out like we’re fireworks,

Marching on proud,

Turn it up loud,

‘Cause now we know what we’re worth,”

Luke settled back behind his spot and smirked, his hair falling in his eyes as he shook his head to the beat. You kept your eyes on him as he played, and Luke winked at you in response. Even though you hadn’t done it in forever, your on-stage flirting game was like muscle memory.

Before you knew it, the bridge came and Luke abandoned his microphone to share yours. You took it off the stand and leaned towards him. Behind you, Julie dropped out and your and Luke’s voices filled the venue.

“I got a spark in me,” You sang and Luke echoed your words.

“And you’re a part of me,

A part of me,

Now till eternity,

Been so long and now we’re finally free!”

Just like every other time you sang with Luke, the air disappeared from your lungs and someone hit the pause button on the world. Luke’s eyes never left yours and your skin tingled under his intense stare. You lightly shoved his chest and winked back at him as he went back to his microphone.

The bright lights flashed as Julie’s high note rang out and the song ended. The crowd instantly erupted in cheers and almost everyone gave a standing ovation as you bowed and phased away, making another wave of gasps and cheers run through the crowd.

You landed next to the coffee bar on the far side of the room and instantly saw Teddy, who was leaning on the edge of the counter with a smirk on his face.

“What, you’re stalking me now?” You joked.

“It was a complete coincidence, Gorgeous.” Teddy came closer and nudged your shoulder. “But a great one. Why didn’t you tell me that you could sing like that?”

“Like you’d believe me If I did.” You said as you laughed, still a little breathless from the performance. You could feel your friend's eyes on your back and you turned around. Alex and Reggie were standing there awkwardly while Luke crossed his arms.

“Ah, the famous bandmates.” Teddy smirked. “You guys were great.”

“Thanks.” Luke smiled stiffly at him before turning to you and gesturing over where Julie was talking to her dad. “Sorry to interrupt, but (Y/n), we should really go check on Julie.”

You tried to ignore the way that he was already wanting to get back to Julie made your heart sink into your shoes but you nodded and turned back to Teddy with an apologetic smile. “Bye, Teddy.”

You turned to leave but Teddy’s hand came up to grip your wrist. “Hey, uh, come to the diner tomorrow. There’s something I want to tell you.”

“Something bad?” You asked and Teddy sighed.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow. I promise.”

“Okay.” Despite the pit of worry in your stomach, for some reason, you trusted Teddy. “See you then.”

After you watched as Julie got steered out the doors by her dad, you phased into her room and waited for them to get back.

You couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Sure, it was all of your idea to sneak her out, but you definitely encouraged her and now she was in trouble. As you waited, you looked around her room, admiring all the pictures and colors.

There were little paper butterflies hanging from the ceiling and you went to touch one, but then the door swung open and Julie came in.

She yelped but relaxed as soon as she realized it was you.

“I’m sorry.” You said. “I didn’t mean to scare you, or get you in trouble tonight.”

Julie shook her head. “Hey, it was my choice to sneak out. Besides, I’m not in trouble. I mean, I have to focus more on school and stuff but I’m staying in the band.”

“Thank god. I definitely couldn’t go back to a band of all boys.” You joked and Julie laughed before wiggling her eyebrows.

“Speaking of boys, don’t you have one to go give a birthday present to?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay first.” You said.

“Thank you, (Y/n). But I’m good.” Julie smiled warmly. “Now go get your boy.”

“He’s not my boy.” You protested but Julie just rolled her eyes and threw a pillow through your torso. “Hey!”

Julie laughed as she picked up another pillow. “Get out of here or else I’ll do it again.”

“Okay, okay!” You giggled as you poofed away.

You landed in the middle of the studio and frowned when you realized that it was empty. You assumed that Alex was probably out looking for Willie and Reggie was probably with Ray or Carlos, but Luke was usually hanging around the studio this late.

“Hey.” A voice called out from behind you and you whipped around to find Luke leaning against the railing of the loft.

“Hi.” You cleared your throat. “You okay?”

Luke nodded and gestured to the empty air next to him, and with a flash, you poofed to his side. You could tell that he was still thinking about his parents from the way that his eyes lingered on the studio doors and the guilt you felt earlier returned in full-force. You wanted to say something, do something to make him smile.

“I got you something.” You said, trying to put on a bright smile as you crossed the loft and pulled the box from its hiding spot. “You probably don’t even remember this thing, but we did say we were gonna open it when we turned eighteen.”

Luke knitted his eyebrows in confusion but a look of realization flashed across his face when you handed it to him. Just like you were hoping for, he instantly brightened as he read the carvings on the top of the lid.

“Oh my god...” He said. “I can’t believe you dug this up.”

For some reason, you didn’t want to tell him that you really dug it up twenty five years ago back when you stopped being friends. It seemed almost too sentimental, and after finally getting Luke back, you didn’t want to scare him away again.

“All it took was an hour, and technically some property damage if you count my mom’s rose bushes.”

It wasn’t technically a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.

Luke threw his head back as he laughed. “Oof, be thankful that you’re already dead or else she would’ve killed you.”

You snorted as you gestured from him to open the box. He carefully pulled the lid off and slid a little closer to you so you could both see inside. There were some random drawings and toys, but what caught your eye was a box of crayons in the corner.

“Wait,” You gasped as you picked them up. “Are these the crayons?”

“The ones that you stole from me on the first day of second grade?” Luke said, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth to keep from laughing. “Yeah.”

“Excuse you, they were mine to begin with.” You reminded him with a raised eyebrow.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Luke smirked.

You cleared your throat as you stepped away from the railing and faced Luke.

“Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for not listening to you about Bobby. I just got so caught in up in memories of how we all used to be and stuff that-”

“(Y/n), hey,” Luke chuckled lightly as he reached over and grabbed your hand, the gesture immediately stopping your ranting. “Don’t be sorry. You were right. I mean, I’ll always be bummed that our old music is gone, but a friend helped me realize that we should focus on the future.”

He gently squeezed your hand and you laughed. “This friend of yours sounds pretty smart.”

Luke hummed. “The smartest.”

You could feel his calloused fingers on the back of your hand and it felt so familiar and warm. For once, the silence between you wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward.

“Thank you, (Y/n).” Luke said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You took a deep breath before responding with a soft smile. “Happy birthday, Lu.”

September 1994

“Sweetie, your shift is over.”

Cece said with a raised eyebrow as she watched you pour creamer and sugar packets into cups of coffee.

“I know and I know that I shouldn’t be behind the counter when I’m not working.” You smiled up at her before placing the coffee pot into its holder, practically shaking with excitement. “But I have band news and the boys will be here any second.”

You put lids on the drinks and set them on the counter just as the bell on the door chimed and Alex and Luke strolled in, followed by Bobby and Reggie.

“Okay, what was so important that you had to wake me up and drag me down here?” Alex complained as soon as he saw you.

“It’s barely ten, Al. When did you turn eighty?” You teased as you handed him a paper cup of cocoa. Alex just grumbled at you under his breath as they all sat down in front of you. “I’m sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep, but this couldn’t wait.”

“We’re listening.” Reggie said as he grabbed his coffee.

“Okay, so you remember that guy who saw us play at the beach a little while ago?” You asked and they all nodded. “Well, I called him and it turns out that he owns a club downtown.”

“Wait.” Luke perked up and Bobby leaned forward in his chair. “A club club?”

You nodded. “And he wants us to play there every weekend next month.”

Alex choked on his cocoa. “The whole month?!”

You nodded again and there was a minute of stunned silence as they all exchanged looks. You smirked as you took a sip of your coffee.

“Oh, and also, he knows the owner of the Orpheum. Apparently they used to go to college together or something. And he said that if we impress him next month, that he could maybe pull a few strings.”

There was another moment of silence before Bobby turned to you with a serious look on his face. “(Y/n), I could kiss you right now.”

“Gross.” You scrunched your nose and the rest of the boys laughed.

Luke, who had been bouncing in his seat a minute ago, suddenly looked serious as he jumped up and grabbed Bobby’s shoulder. “C’mon, Casanova. I’m starving.”

Bobby rolled his eyes but followed Luke over to the counter and started scanning the menu. Reggie whistled quietly, making you frown in confusion.

“What?” You asked.

“I think Lukey boy is a little jealous.” Reggie said and Alex hummed in agreement.

“What?” You asked. “He’s definitely not. But even if he was, it’s just Bobby. There’s nothing to be jealous about.”

“That doesn’t matter when you’re in love.” Reggie sang and you cleared your throat.

“I’m gonna give you three seconds, Reginald.” You warned and Reggie scoffed, but then got wide-eyed when you started counting.

“Uh-oh.” Alex snickered and Reggie scrambled to get up from his chair and run across the diner just as you got to three. You caught up with him in seconds and jumped on his back, making him sigh in defeat.

But before you could brag about winning, Reggie suddenly bolted towards Luke and Bobby with you still on his back. The action caused a surprised laugh to bubble out of you making Bobby look at the two of you in confusion.

“What did Reggie do now?” He asked.

“All I said was that (Y/n)’s in lo-” Reggie started but you quickly slapped your hand over his mouth.

“Nothing!” You said quickly.

Once everyone got their food, you all sat down and started scribbling ideas for the setlists. You could hardly focus with all the excitement coursing through your veins. Ever since the day you formed Sunset Curve, you dreamed of playing at the Orpheum with your best friends and you were finally almost there.

You looked across the table and smiled at Luke, knowing that he was thinking the same exact thing from the way he was beaming back at you. You just had to impress one club owner, and you could live out your dreams.

Together.

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown @charliegillespiewife @merceret @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16 @dangerouslyclose @iainttakingshitfromnobody @givemebooksorgivemedeath @sunsetcurvedotmp3 @askgeoff @mayleenicole5676 @puppy11148

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13

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#luke patterson #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson x reader #Reggie Peters #Alex Mercer #julie molina #jatp fanfic

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years

Text

15x20

Spoilers for Season 15x20 finale

Summary: This is a semi-rewrite of episode 15x20...

Pairing: Dean x reader (reader is treated more like an OC than a typical reader)

Word Count: 2,000ish

Warnings: language, major 15x20 spoilers

A/N: I wrote this for myself honestly. I know it is idealistic and was never going to happen. Again, I’m sharing simply if you’re interested but please feel free to ignore. This picks up from a very obvious point in the episode...

______

Dean POV

“Fuck,” said Dean, his hand over his chest. Something big was stabbing into his back. This felt wrong though. A dull, achy pain trickled up and down his spine and across his chest. His heart was racing up and slowing down when it wanted and Dean shut his eyes as he recognized the feeling in his bones.

He was dying. The kind of dying a doctor can’t fix.

“Jack!” shouted Sam, Dean peeling open his eyes as he realized Sam was besides him, hand covered in blood. A few seconds later Jack appeared in front of them eating a bar of nougat. “Jack fix him. Please.”

“He said he was hands off,” said Dean with a wince, his whole body shaking. Jack cocked his head and walked over, touching Dean’s forehead. The next thing he knew, Dean was sat on the ground and taking a deep breath, the pain gone as he looked up. “You said you were hands off.”

“You’re my dads. Why wouldn’t I help you?” he asked, a confused look on his face. Dean chuckled and nodded, still holding onto his chest. “You seem upset. I’ll pop you guys home.”

“Kid there’s-”

“Those boys are okay,” said Jack, snapping his fingers. Dean was suddenly sat on the steps up into the library, Jack mentioning something about taking some nougat from the pantry before he headed out.

“You alright?” asked Sam. Dean shook his head and he took a seat. Dean rubbed the heel of his palm against his chest and shuddered. “Jack got there in time.”

“If he hadn’t-”

“Dean-”

“If he hadn’t...because it was bad, Sammy. If he hadn’t...I’m so proud of you and I love you, so fucking much. I couldn’t have asked for a better baby brother, a better best friend. You just gotta tell me something. When the time comes, you’ll be okay without me. Tell me Sam. Please.”

“I’ll be okay,” said Sam quietly. Dean nodded and moved his hand to his lap, Sam scooting closer. “Let’s get out of here.”

“What?”

“Let’s get a house. We can get a big yard for Miracle. Run an operation like Bobby did, do the occasional case. Let’s go live more,” said Sam. Dean paused but rubbed his chest again and smiled.

“Dibs on the master bedroom,” said Dean. Sam chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. This place is home but I wouldn’t mind an upgrade.”

Two Months Later

“Miracle!” called Dean when he ignored the ball Dean had just thrown across the yard and ran around the corner of the house. “Miracle!”

“I think your daddy’s looking for you,” Dean heard a voice giggle. He walked around the house and saw a woman knelt down and ruffling the dog. “You’re so cute. You’re so cute.”

“Yes, I am,” smirked Dean as the woman popped her head up. “So, how can I help you and why are you parked in my driveway?”

“I’m Y/N. Y/N-”

“I heard of you. Hunter out of Alaska right?” he asked as she nodded. “You work a lot of Canada cases.”

“I did,” she said with a shrug. “I was thinking of retiring down south. Wondering if you got any tips on how to adjust.”

“A dog helps,” he said and she smiled, Dean looking her up and down. “You do realize this is Austin, Texas right?”

“This is south to me,” she said. “I know Donna through a friend of a friend. She said it’d be cool if I came and talked to you?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” said Dean, Miracle running over to the ball and rushing back with it. He nudged Dean’s hand and Y/N smiled. “You mind chatting while we do some fetch?”

“Not at all, Winchester.”

“Kinda funny how Eileen and Y/N know each other,” said Sam, Dean looking out the back window to where the girls and Miracle were sat on the back deck after dinner drinking a beer. Dean hummed and dried a plate, Sam nudging his arm. “You like her, don’t you.”

“You like her.”

“Dean.”

“Yeah, I like her. What’s the big deal?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A gorgeous, former hunter with your kind of humor, love for pie, muscle cars and classic rock that’s single just happens to have stuck around long after she got done talking to you.”

“I invited her to dinner.”

“She understands the life Dean. All the shit we carry. You’ve never tried with a hunter. Give her a chance.”

“Tried what?” said Dean, putting the plate in the cupboard.

“You can have a relationship Dean. I’m pretty sure she likes you too,” said Sam.

“Hello, Dean,” said Castiel, both guys jumping as they spun around. They stared at the angel as Cas looked around. “I enjoy your home. The air is fragrant.”

“It’s a candle,” said Sam, pointing to the flickering light on the countertop. He blew it out and Dean walked around the island, shaking his head.

“Where the fuck have you been?” said Dean, giving Cas a hug. Sam joined them and Castiel shrugged.

“Rebuilding heaven is labor intensive process,” said Cas before turning to Dean. “I felt you would be coming there soon a few months ago.”

“Why didn’t you pop down when you knew he was dying?” asked Sam.

“You are humans,” said Cas with a pout. “You will die someday. It’s an inevitable fact. Time is very strange in heaven in its relation to earth. I assumed you were an old man.”

“No, not old,” said Dean.

“Would you two like for me to prevent your deaths until a certain age?” asked Cas.

“No,” they both said, Dean smiling.

“But if we ask for help, you will help?” asked Dean.

“Always,” said Castiel. He tilted his head and looked out the back window. “Who is the woman with Eileen?”

“Y/N. Hunter from the Yukon area. Dean has a crush,” said Sam. He smirked when Dean whacked his arm, Cas still cocking his head. “You know her?”

“She’s quite drawn to Dean. Metaphysically speaking.”

“Yes cause whatever you just said was very clear. Like I’m five Cas,” said Dean. Cas sighed and pursed his lips.

“Jack has given me some extra power to help assist him better. I can see more of a person now,” said Cas. “Their energy, soul, things of that nature.”

“Okay...so what does that mean?” asked Dean.

“Oh your souls are quite intertwined. She’s your soulmate,” said Cas.

“Really?” said Dean, allowing a brief smile to cross his face.

“She also has a growing inoperable mass in her head that will kill her in the next few years. She suffers from headaches quite frequently,” said Cas. Dean sat down at the counter and stared out the back door, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Why can’t I be happy?” he breathed out. “For a fucking minute I can’t even be happy before the rug gets pulled out.”

“...Did you not want me to heal her?” asked Cas. Dean rolled his eyes and Cas’ glowed blue for a moment. “She’s fine now. You seem...emotional.”

“Well I am Cas,” said Dean.

“You’ve been off since that hunt and the barn,” said Sam.

“Sam I shouldn’t be alive,” said Dean. “I got lucky.”

“You have sacrificed your entire life for others, Dean,” said Cas, Sam taking a seat next to Dean. “You should take advantage of your powerful friends. Let others care for you now. I will speak to Jack about the remaining monsters and their relocation to somewhere better suited for them, perhaps a new world.”

“Everything alright?” asked Y/N, slipping in through the back door with an empty beer bottle.

“Yeah, we’re all good,” said Sam.

“Liar,” she said, smiling at Dean. “I’ll be right back.”

She excused herself to the bathroom, Sam and Cas going outside. Dean got another set of beers out just in time for Y/N to return.

“Can I ask you a question?” she said.

“Shoot,” said Dean, handing her the drink.

“Your friend, the angel, did he just heal me? I’ve had constant headaches for awhile now. Brain tumor. I feel different. You guys wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with that would you?”

“You deserve to enjoy your retirement,” he said. “A very long retirement. You’re fine now.”

“I won’t be mad about that,” she said, leaning against the counter by him. She took a long sip and smiled. “I like you, Dean.”

“I like you,” he said.

“I’m gonna stick around town for a bit, see if things work out,” she said. He nodded and smiled, watching her smirk. “So there’s really no more monsters?”

“Uh, what?”

“I overheard Castiel when I walked in. Guess we’re really out of jobs now,” you said.

“I got an offer for a construction manager,” he said.

“You gonna take it?” she asked.

“I think so. What do you think?” he asked.

“I think it’s a great idea,” she said. “Gotta keep busy somehow.”

“What’s your retirement look like?” he asked. She shrugged and smiled. “Now that death isn’t imminent.”

“Maybe I’ll find a guy, try the domestic thing,” she said, a soft smile staying on her lips. “Know anyone who might be interested?”

“I’m sure I can think of someone, sweetheart.”

One Year Later

“So what do you think?” asked Sam as he spun around in his suit in the family room.

“What do we think junior?” asked Dean, the baby on his lap clapping his hands. “He says dad’s gonna score tonight.”

“I fear for you teaching my son things when he’s a teenager,” chuckled Sam.

“That’s what Uncles are for,” said Dean as Y/N got up from the couch and started fixing Sam’s tie.

“And what Aunt’s are for to rein them in,” she said, smoothing it out.

“Thank you,” said Sam. “Hey, when you two gonna have a kid?”

“Who says we aren’t?” smirked Dean. Sam went wide eyed and she rolled hers.

“We’re trying just recently. You will literally be the first to know once we do,” she said. She winked and Sam narrowed his eyes, looking back and forth between them then down to her stomach.

“You’re so pregnant.”

“Ugh, we were gonna surprise you guys. Let us surprise, Eileen at least,” she said.

“You guys are pregnant!” said Eileen from over the balcony upstairs. Y/N laughed and headed up, Sam taking a seat next to Dean and plucking his son into his arms.

“You’re gonna be a real good dad. You got a lot of practice,” said Sam. Dean shrugged and Sam gave him a side hug. “I’m really happy he gets to know his Uncle, Dean. You’re gonna do great.”

“I’m really happy I get to be here too,” said Dean. He sat back and shut his eyes. “I owe you one.”

“For what?”

“The barn. I thought Jack wouldn’t come. I didn’t even bother. I thought that was gonna be it,” said Dean. “I didn’t want to go yet.”

“You don’t owe me for that,” said Sam, handing the baby back when he heard feet on the stairs. “Be good for Uncle Dean, baby boy.”

“Go have fun on your date, Sammy,” said Dean.

“You have fun on your stay at home date,” chuckled Sam. “See ya later, De.”

“Later, Sammy.”

_________

#spn #spn spoilers #dontspoilthefinalhunt #spn season 15 spoilers #supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural dean winchester #supernatural sam winchester #one shot

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paisley-print · 3 years

Text

8:00am : When We Cut The Cake

A Wedding Day

Rating: 18+

Word count: 2122

Characters: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Warnings: SMUT (Oral Fem Receiving, PIV sex, semi-public sex) mentions of vomit , implied age gap, pregnancy, family drama, fluff.

Series Master-List

Notes: Does anybody else get super nervous before they post a story? I get so nervous. Why?

“Almost ready honey?” Jack asked, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Yeah, just one sec” you said, fastening the last bobby pin into the veil. “Alright no peaking when I come out-”

“Sugar, our appointment time is at-”

“Jack please,” you whined. “It will just take a moment, and you’re not allowed to give me sass today because I will get my pay back tonight when we cut the cake.”

You heard him chuckle from behind the door, “alright darlin’ my eyes are closed.”

You cracked open the door to make sure he was telling the truth. “No peeking,” you warned, stepping out so that you could be in full view.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said with a smirk.

“Alright - you can open.”

He opened his eyes, giving you the once over and whistling. “Well, look at you. My mamma forced me to go to church all my life, and they never mentioned anything about letting angels walk around on earth... but here you are.”

“oh yeah, that’s me, proper virgin Mary.” You turned around to look in the stand up mirror in front of you. You weren’t showing a lot, but enough to make you feel bloated and icky. It had been weeks, but the morning sickness persisted.

He came up behind you, placing his hands on your stomach and resting his head on your shoulder. The two of you looked at each other in the mirror for a moment.

Jack was in his Sunday best and you in the only white dress you could find at the boutique in town. You two were not pressed for money but considering the circumstances, and how sick you still felt, both you and Jack decided to keep the wedding low key. You didn’t need a big wedding anyway, neither did Jack.

“I don’t look dumb?” you asked.

He looked at you seriously “now sugar, why on earth would you say that?”

You adjusted the dress a little, frowning. “I don’t think either of our families are thrilled about the surprise. You know, one second we were both single, then the next we were pregnant and engaged… The age thing doesn’t help either. Then the people at the courthouse, they’re probably going to judge too-”

He spun you around so you were facing him. “If anybody says anything to you - then you tell me and I will deal with it. I don’t care who they are. You understand?”

You looked into his eyes, remembering how angry he had been the day you found out you were pregnant. “You still want this, right?”

“Yes. Do you?”

“Of course. I’m just making sure.”

He put his hands on your belly again. “Trust me sugar, nothin’ would make me happier than standing up there with you and telling the entire world how much I love you. I do not give a flyin’ fuck what anybody else has to say about it, because frankly it is none of their goddamn business. You understand?”

You nodded. He spun you back around so he could hug you from behind again. You giggled and scrunched up your nose as he pressed little kisses to your cheek, then neck.

Sunlight drifted in through the lace curtain, bathing the room in an amber glow. The two of you, together, it looked right. You had never felt more safe than when you were with Jack. He had collected the pieces of your broken heart and glued them back together one by one, and you did the same for him.

For the first time in a long time, he was excited about the future because he knew he wouldn’t be alone.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked him softly.

He smiled “how much I love you.”

You returned the smile. Feeling that familiar sting in the corners of your eyes. It seemed as though recently you had little control over these kinds of shifts in emotion. The last few weeks had been a lot. “Fuck,” you laughed “I knew I wasn’t going to make it to the ceremony.”

Jack noticed and kissed your cheek again and shushed you gently. “No need for that, you’ll ruin your makeup darlin’.”

“I love you too,” you told him.

“So let's get married. Come on” he said, giving your ass a light tap - before going over to grab his hat from the bed. “Or do I have to pick you up and carry you there myself?”

“I bet you wouldn’t even be able t -” you challenged.

Before you could even finish the sentence, Jack placed his hat on his head and scooped you up bridal style. You giggled all the way down the stairs.

The wedding was lovely. The courthouse was one of the oldest buildings in the county, built in 1796. It was a grand building, full of white stone columns, with a clock tower that made it the tallest structure in miles. The ceremony was brief. You and Jack were smiling like idiots the entire time.

A little while later, you hosted a backyard reception with your family and friends.

“Hey- I need you” you whispered, hooking your arm in your husbands and pulling him away from the group of people he was standing with.

“Why? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” he asked, placing a hand on your belly.

“Yes. Sorry, nothing like that just...you’ll see” you pulled him into the laundry room and shut the door behind you. Without another word, you leaned up and kissed him. He was surprised at first, but was soon kissing you back - trying to keep up.

You pulled away breathless and kept your voice low, “OK I need a favor.”

Jack’s brows were still knit in confusion. “anything.”

“I need you to fuck me.”

“Now?” he asked, a little too loud. You gave him a stern look and his voice softened “now?”

“Yes” you whined. “Tonight is too far away,” you gave him those puppy dog eyes “please?”

He put his hands on his hips and looked down at you, laughing a little. “Twice this morning wasn’t enough?”

You kicked idly at the floor with your shoe “no... but if you don’t want to-”

He was quick to cut you off “no, no. I want to…. but sugar, we got a whole house full of people, why don’t we go upstairs?”

“I want to save that for our real first time,” you said.

Recently it seemed as though if you weren’t bed ridden from nausea you were all over him, begging for him to fuck you. Jack didn’t mind, of course, he enjoyed seeing you feel better…. and you know, the sex wasn’t too bad either. The record had been four times in one day. At his age, he was pretty proud of that.

The cowboy laughed and glanced out the frosted glass window. Shadows of people moved back and forth. “What if they hear us?”

You gave him a little smirk “then I guess you’ll just have to keep me quiet.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, then took your hand to pull you in for a bruising kiss. He pulled you flush against him, exploring your mouth with his tongue, before breaking the kiss and spinning you around.

He nudged you gently with his body, boxing you in against the dryer.

“This okay?” he whispered, bringing a hand around to your stomach once more.

“Yeah” you said, then felt his hand move to the buttons on the back of the dress. “Don’t bother - keep it on.”

“Whatever you say Mrs. Daniels.”

He got on his knees behind you, large hands brushing the back of your thighs and pushing your dress up over your waist. He smirked at the lacy panties you had on, hooking a finger in them and pulling them down. They fell to your ankles; he helped you kick them off easily.

In one fluid motion, he lifted you up a little and put his mouth on you from behind. You suppressed a groan hen grabbed at a towel to bite down on and muffle your sounds.

He swiped his skilled tongue through your slick folds, loving how you tasted. Your eyes fluttered shut as he pushed his tongue inside of you. His hand came up, grabbing a fistful of your ass and squeezing until he left a little red mark.

He continued licking into you, flicking his tongue against your clit as you squirmed under his touch. It didn’t take long for your orgasm to come crashing into you. You bit down hard on the fabric of the towel, trying and failing to stifle a moan.

“Holyfuck Jack,” you breathed, when he finally broke away.

You felt him move your veil to the side so he could plant sloppy kisses to your neck, his hands quickly undoing the loops on his belt. “Was that good honey?” he knew it was, he just wanted to hear you say it.

“I know what you’re doing,” you giggled.

He pretended to be offended “what? Trying to make sure I’ve satisfied my wife?”

Hearing him referred to you as his wife turned you on even more. That need settled between your legs again. Jack’s arm came to hook around your waist while the other came to steady himself on the dryer.

You shuddered as he dragged his cock along your folds, teasing you.

His voice was dark with lust “you ready darlin’?”

As soon as you nodded, he moved his hand from your waist, clamping it over your mouth as he pushed inside you. You threw your head back and allowed your eyes to close again. The feeling of him stretching you out made you clench around his cock. He always felt so big from behind.

He ground his hips into you slowly, his hand buzzing with the sound of your moans.

Soon he fell into a steady pace, pumping into you as your hips bucked to meet each thrust. His breaths fell heavy on your ear. The two of you were so lost in bliss you nearly forgot about the party outside.

The handle to the laundry room door twisted and was pushed open only a crack before Jack’s hand came out and slammed it shut again.

“Is y/n in there?” a woman’s voice called from behind the door. It was one of your aunts, you realized.

You felt Jack’s hand press a little harder into your mouth. “Yep, she’ll be out in a second,” he responded, never slowing his pace. “Morning sickness is a bitch, gotta get the stain out of her dress.”

“Oh, alright,” the woman said, “tell her to find me once you’re done, we want to get a picture for Facebook.”

“Will do,” Jack responded, then pulled out of you - spinning you around to face him before slamming into you again.

He removed his hand from your mouth and replaced it with his lips. Growling against your lips as he continued to pump into you; he was trying to hold out until you came first. He wanted to make sure your needs were taken care of before his.

He could tell that you were close by the way you clung onto him, the muscles in your body tensing as he built up the pleasure in your core. When you finally fell apart, he made sure to kiss you a little harder - absorbing the sound of your cries with his mouth.

He was not far behind and soon you were both left, disheveled and out of breath. He kissed you on the cheek and nuzzled the side of your neck, breathing in the smell of hairspray. Jack knew that the two of you had to go back out there, but he wished he could stay in there with you all night.

He finally pulled back, studying your face for a moment before saying, “look at that, didn’t even smudge your lipstick. Am I good or what?”

“It’s a stain Jack. Cover Girl gets the credit here” you teased, patting the side of his face before reaching down to pick up your panties from the ground.

He started to dress himself again as well “you just wait, I still got two more tries tonight. I bet that mascara is gonna look wonderful running down your pretty little face.”

“Two, huh?”

“What?..... Three? Christ darlin’ you’re gonna put me in the goddamn hospital you know that? If I throw my back out again you are gonna have to explain to Ginger how it happened this time.” He reached up to straighten your veil as you adjusted his tie. Then he offered you his arm. “Alright baby girl, you up for a dance or two?”

#Pedro Pascal Fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Pedro fanfic #Kingsmen Fanfic #Kingsmen Fanfiction #Agent whiskey fanfic #Agent whiskey x you #Agent whiskey x Reader #Whiskey x you #Jack Daniels x you

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mersuperwholocked-lowlife · 4 years

Text

Don’t Say Goodbye

Word Count: 1,819

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (brief), John Winchester (brief), Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst

A/N: it’s not good u dont have to read plz dont

Masterlist

“Dad, please. All I’m saying is that… Hey! Listen to me!” you ran in front of John, blocking him from the door.

“Move, now,” he glared, clenching his jaw.

“Do you even care about us?” you scoffed, crossing your arms.

“(Y/N), get out of the way. Now,” he said.

“It’s Dean’s birthday. It’s Dean’s 13th birthday and you’re leaving. Again. Have you ever been here for one of his birthdays?” you raised your voice.

“You know, we don’t have a mother. We don’t even have you to call our dad. Yeah, leave again. Don’t even bother coming back at this point,” John kept quiet, only shoving past you as he slammed the door shut behind you.

You let out a sharp exhale, sitting down as you rubbed your head.

Why did it have to be like this? Sam and Dean were out at some library, Sam’s choice. You planned to surprise them when they got home, but apparently, John had another hunt to get to.

You let out a huff as you grabbed your jacket, going to the library to meet them.

---

“(Y/N),” Sam was resting on your back, while you held him tightly.

“Yeah, Dean?” you asked.

“Is Dad coming home soon?” you looked next to you, looking at your younger brother.

“Dad’s gonna be home when he can. But for now, we can have some fun! What do you want to do? Sam’s passed out so it’s just me and you for the night, kiddo,” you ruffled his hair as he pushed away from you.

“That’s so embarrassing, (Y/N)!” he exclaimed.

You laughed softly, holding his hand as the two of you made your way to the apartment.

---

“Did you eat breakfast?” you asked Dean.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Sammy, you too?” you turned to your younger brother.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Okay, let’s go,” you nodded, opening the door for the two of them.

“Did you eat breakfast, (Y/N),” Dean mocked your question.

“I’ll eat after I drop you two off at school,” Sam walked to the car, sitting in the backseat peacefully.

“How come you got to drop out of school? It’s not fair,” Dean grunted.

“Because I’m older than you,” you replied.

“That’s not a fair answer,” he said.

“Get in the car, Dean,” you rolled your eyes.

“What do you even do all day?” he scoffed.

“Car. Now,” you were used to Dean always questioning you, Sam being the only one who listened.

He muttered something to himself, sitting in the passage seat as he looked out the window.

---

“No,” you ran behind John.

“It's not your choice, (Y/N),” he said.

He agreed it was time for Dean’s first hunt.

“No, Dad. It's not safe,” you said.

“He's 15, (Y/N), it is time,” John argued.

“So what? We made a deal, Dad. Sam and Dean will not hunt until they’re old enough to make decisions this big,” you yelled at John.

“I need an extra hand,” John yelled.

“Then I’ll go with you! They can stay with Bobby, but under no circumstances are you going to make them hunt!” you yelled.

John made you hunt when you were as old as 8 years old. You hated hunting more than anything. But if you had to do it to keep your brother's safe, then you would.

“We’re leaving in 5 minutes. Be ready,” you nodded, running back to the motel room and started to gather some clothes.

---

“(Y/N), your eye!” Sam exclaimed, looking up at you.

“I’m fine, Sammy. It doesn't even hurt,” you said, closing the door behind you.

John was already gone.

You could feel your vision blur slightly but kept strong as you sat on the bed.

“Here,” Sam handed you an ice pack.

“Thanks, kid…. wait, where’s Dean?” you asked, realizing he wasn't there.

“He went out somewhere,” Sam said.

“What?! He left you here? Alone?!” you exclaimed, standing up.

“I-It’s okay, I’m a big kid,” Sam replied.

“You’re not a big kid, you’re 12. Get in the car. Do you know where the party is?” you said.

Your body and eye ached out in pain, as you bit your lip, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah. It’s….”

---

“You just embarrassed me in front of all those people!” Dean yelled, as you slammed the hotel door.

“You left Sam home alone!” you yelled at him.

“(Y/N), really, I’m fine,” Sam intervened.

“No, it’s not fine! Sam… just go in the bathroom!” you yelled.

Sam nodded softly, sitting in the bathroom as he closed the door.

“I don’t know why it’s a big deal! It’s one party!” Dean yelled, frustrated.

“It doesn't matter! You left him, by himself! He is 12, Dean! He is a child! A child in a hotel room by himself in the middle of the night!” you yelled.

“That’s not fair! Why should I have to sacrifice my life for him?!” Dean yelled.

“Because that's what being an older sibling is, Dean! You sacrifice your life for the sake of your brother! What if something happened to him, Dean?! What if he got hurt? What if a creature went after him?!” you screamed.

“Nothing happened! He was fine! You're so dumb and paranoid all the time! Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen!” you felt a pang in your chest as Dean spoke. You were taking away his life, his freedom. Just like John did to you.

“Go to bed,” you said softly.

“That's all you have to say now? Really?” Dean scoffed.

You opened the bathroom door, as Sam stood up.

“Both of you go to bed, it's late,” you said.

Sam nodded, walking to his bed.

You closed the door behind you, sitting on the ground as you held your head in your hands, ignoring the powerful burning sensation in your eye.

---

It would be easier to imagine that to be the worst argument that happened between you and Dean, but it wasn't the truth. Things only got worse after that, the two of you arguing about everything. The relationship between you two was now broken, and there wasn't any fixing it.

Sam left for Stanford. You were happy he got out. As time went on, you couldn't control if Sam and Dean hunted, you couldn't help them, they didn't need you anymore. John made it clear he didn't need you anymore.

He would send you on hunts by yourself, or with some random hunter, while he would go on hunts with Sam and Dean. Having a weak relationship with Dean also meant a worse one with Sam.

You and Dean had another fight. He was mad Sam left, he was mad that Sam abandoned the two of you. You were happy, you were proud.

Dad died. He sold his soul to save Dean. You should've done it first. You tried to talk to Dean, tell him it wasn't his fault. He only got mad at you. Another fight. You soon realized that it wasn't just the relationship between you and Dean that was broken, it was you.

Dean sold his soul to save Sam. He has a year left. He never talked about it, he never talked to you. After he died, you did the only thing you could. You sold your soul to bring him back. Unfortunately for you, you didn't know about Castiel, and how he was bringing Dean back. You were tricked. There was still a timer on your soul, a three-year timer, and there was no way out of it.

It was now your last month. Dean just came back from Purgatory, and you spent the last year looking for him. Your hallucinations had already started. You could feel your chest aching painfully as you took deep breaths. You had to tell them, but not just yet. In a little.

Time flew too fast. It was your last two days. Now or never.

“Sam’s not here right now,” Dean barely acknowledged you as you walked into the room.

“I know, I needed to talk to you,” you took a deep breath.

He turned around, facing you as he put his book down, crossing his arms.

“Is it important? I have other things to do,” he said.

You felt your face drop as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“N-No, we can talk later,” you said.

No, we can't. There won't be a later

He sighed, walking out of the room. You tried to speak, you tried to stop him, but you couldn't. You ran to your room, locking the door as you buried your face in your pillow, crying softly.

---

Your eyes were red as you walked to Dean, tears in your eyes. You had to tell him, you had to say something.

“I’m busy,” he said, turning his back to you.

“Just put the fucking book down,” he raised an eyebrow, turning to you before eyes widening, putting the book down.

“(Y/N)-” he started.

“I’ve spent the last three years trying to figure out how to say this. Just listen. I’m sorry, Dean, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry we didn't fix things between us, I’m sorry for ruining your life or whatever. But I care about you, and I love you because you're my younger brother. And that's never going to change. I only wanted the best for you and Sam, that's why I made your life a living hell and I’m sorry,” you stopped, as you took a shaky breath, looking down. Your heart was beating painfully fast, and your vision was blurred.

“Why are you saying that?” he tensed slightly, looking at you.

“Please, take care of yourself and take care of Sammy,” you bit your lip, holding in your cries.

You turned your back to him, closing your eyes.

“Stop it. Why are you saying goodbye? (Y/N),” Dean put his hands on your shoulders, turning you around to face him.

“What did you do?” he asked.

You stayed quiet, taking deep breaths.

“What did you do, (Y/N)?” he raised his voice.

“I’m sorry,” your voice broke.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, sniffling.

“I-I need you, you can’t… don’t… don’t say goodbye, (Y/N), please,” you could feel your heart breaking as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Dean,” you started.

“(Y/N), you’re the best person I-I have. I’m sorry that I’ve been a bitch, but just listen. You sacrificed everything for us. You took care of us, you kept us safe. I never understood it before, but I get it now. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you let out a soft cry as you squeezed him tightly.

“I-I have to g-go now. I don’t want to be here when it happens,” you whispered.

“No, I want to stay with you. Please,” he begged.

The two of you held onto each other tightly, crying. There was nothing more you could ask for.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural angst #supernatural family #SPN #spn fic #SPN FANDOM #spn angst #dean #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #dean winchester x sister reader #dean winchester x platonic!reader

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wanderingsofal · 4 years

Text

Can I just take a minute to say how awesome the show Julie and the Phantoms is?

I binged it last Sunday, and have literally not stopped listening to the soundtrack all week. But that’s not the only reason it’s great. The main character and her best friend are POC. There’s an LGBT relationship that’s done well and absolutely critical to the plot. Julie’s dad is a single dad, and portrayed as an amazing father that cares about his daughter’s happiness and is honestly just trying to do what is best for both of them. I expect if it gets a second season we’ll see more of Julie’s tia and her brother, who only had brief scenes but were clearly an important part of her life. It passes the Bechdel test! Which, I know, low bar, but I mean it. Julie and Flynn talk more about music than Luke or Nick, and a lot of the time when they do talk about the boys it’s because of the band and not romance.

On the band. They are fantastic. They’re all such good people, and even their massive fuckup with missing the dance is understandable when you realize why they were so upset and wanted revenge. Especially in light of Luke’s motivation, which is that Trevor took any chance he had of his parents hearing his music and realizing that his dream was worth it.

Which brings me to Luke. Luke and Alex get a lot more development this season than Reggie, but that’s understandable when we only got nine 30 - 40 minute episodes. Luke’s song Unsaid Emily absolutely broke me. The grief in all of them is so raw, even though for his parents it’s been 25 years.

There is a love triangle brewing here, but it’s done so well I can forgive them for it. Julie knows she’s in love with Luke, so when she finally gets her chance at Nick she turns him down, and is honest about why. She tells Flynn she knows ‘this Luke thing’ (ie her crush on him) ‘isn’t going away for a while, so why waste Nick’s time?’. And Nick doesn’t react with jealousy. He’s still super happy and proud of her when she preforms, even when she’s doing it with the guy he lost out to.

I also love the acting so much. There’s so many little things, like the ways Alex and Reggie look at each other when they see Julie and Luke together being adorable. And the whole bit during Edge of Great, where Luke watches Julie dancing with the others but not coming over to him like she usually does, and you can see he’s confused by it. So he goes up to her, tentative but determined, and she responds before turning away, because this is at the point where she’s still trying not to be in love with him. So he ends the song by coming back over and singing into the microphone with her, drawing her back in. And it’s just... you can see that it’s probably the point where she realizes she’s not going to be able to get over him that fast, because she really does love him.

And the relationship between Alex and Willie. Damn. It’s huge. And it’s done so well. Willie’s actions are central to the plot, and while he definitely screwed up, he acknowledges it, apologizes, and does his best to fix his mistakes. And there’s no recrimination from the boys. They don’t get pissed at Alex for falling in love, or at Willie for screwing up once he apologizes. There’s no ‘oh you’re spending time with your new boyfriend and not us’ sort of thing, which was so nice to see.

I really hope it gets a second season. There’s so much to explore with the band, Julie, her family, and even Trevor/Bobby. It was such a pleasure to watch. I cried a lot, and laughed, and just... overall I adore this show. It would have meant so much to highschool me, so I hope those who need the message of finding your own voice see it.

If you have netflix, please give this show a watch. You won’t regret it.

#julie and the phantoms #such an amazing show

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lannister-slings-and-arrows · 3 years

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Chapter Two of See You in the Morning Time

The third in a Rafael Barba/Reader/Frederick Chilton threesome verse written in collaboration with @pascalispretty . Gif by @mrsrafaelbarba . Yep. We did this. Was it necessary? No. Did we enjoy it? Sometimes. Are you going to read it? I sure hope you do and that you like it! Cross posted to ao3!

Part Three of the series So Much Easier than You Realize

Chapter One: A Different Feeling Entirely Chapter Two: Show Me the New

Warnings: Frederick being an anxious (and sad. and repressed) little weenie, discussions of period typical homophobia, bi panic, completely invented backstory (you got on this ride folks lol), Rafael being surprisingly supportive, cuddling, and of course a little bit of teasing Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 2293 Summary: It's not often that Fred instigates anything with Rafael except an argument.

It’s late by the time Fred and Rafael finally make their way to bed. They shower and put pajamas on while waiting for the food to arrive and once they eat, they finish the bottle of wine that Fred had opened earlier and spend the rest of the evening chatting and watching some dumb movie on TV.

Lying in Fred’s bed in his borrowed clothes, Rafael can’t help but smile to himself. After weeks of skittishness from Fred he had finally made it past some of the walls that the doctor had put up. Fred curled close to Rafael while they watched the movie, dragging a blanket over the two of them and cozying up entirely unprompted.

When Fred comes out of the bathroom and flicks the lights off, he’s even more pleased that Fred doesn’t seem to hesitate to lie close to him in bed or reach out for his hand.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” Rafael murmurs, to break the silence more than anything. He hears Fred scoff.

“I was hardly going to kick you out as soon as we were done.” As best as he can, Rafael turns on his side trying to make Fred out in the darkness of the room.

“I know. I just wasn’t sure how you’d feel.” He’s not at his most eloquent or subtle, but he wants to acknowledge what happened between them. “You were… hesitant at first and I just want to make sure you didn’t feel like you had to do this. As of a few days ago you were still pretty clear that you were not comfortable with the two of us having sex.”

Rafael doesn’t want to force a confidence, but he feels like he has to make sure. He’s coming to care too deeply about the arrogant chronically awkward man next to him to just let this go with vague assurances. He hears Fred shift onto his back and wants nothing more than to drag him into his arms and kiss his stupid, conceited face, but he holds himself still and waits for Fred to answer him, giving him the space he clearly wants.

“This wasn’t as sudden as you think it was,” Fred assures him eventually, face still pointed at the ceiling. “I’ve been thinking about this since, you know, that first time.” Rafael can practically feel Fred’s blush from his side of the bed and grins. “And my reticence was never about you, you know that, yes?”

Rafael nods, realizes Fred probably can’t see him, and clears his throat.

“Yeah, I figured as much. I am, after all, a damn catch.”

Rafael yelps as Fred reaches out, faster than he thought was possible for a well-fed psychiatrist who sits behind a desk all day, and smacks him on the chest.

They’re quiet for a few minutes, together in the dark cocoon of Fred’s bedroom, before Rafael sighs. He can’t help but notice the similarities between the blank peacefulness of Fred’s minimalist design and the deliberately organized calm of a therapist’s office and wonders if he did that on purpose. Maybe it’s a natural inclination, he muses idly. It invites honesty. The sharing of secrets.

“I’m only eighteen months younger than Benn, you know,” Fred says eventually, and it’s so unexpected that Rafael finds himself frowning a little in confusion. “All the way through school, I was Bennett Chilton’s younger brother; just the little brother of the handsome quarterback that everyone adored.” Rafael has seen photos of Bennett, tall and painfully handsome. He can see that it might have been hard to grow up in that shadow.

“He came out when he was sixteen, and I was fourteen. And I’m sure you can imagine what that was like at an all-boys Catholic school in Virginia in the eighties.” Rafael winces in the dark. He remembers well enough the attitudes in his own high school, in marginally more liberal New York. He can’t imagine what it must have been like in a place without a visible community to look up to.

“People were mostly smart enough not to say anything to Benn’s face--he was a six foot two starter who never backed down from a fight, they would have had to have been stupid--and our parents were supportive. But the things people said about him behind his back--” Fred shudders, an involuntary shiver that makes Rafael want to wrap his arms around him and never let go.

Instead, he just squeezes Fred’s hand reassuringly and waits for him to continue. For someone who has trouble shutting up at the very best of times--staying silent isn’t Rafael’s forte--he is doing an admirable job tonight. His desire to prove he’s worthy of this unexpected vulnerability from Fred is more than enough to keep him quiet. Rafael is desperate to know more, to know everything about Fred; about what makes him tick, about why he was so reticent, so reserved, when clearly this is something that he enjoys.

“It was awful. The kind of things you never want to hear about somebody you love. And I was hardly in any position to be giving out bloody noses or black eyes whenever someone called him a fag, or made some crack about AIDS.” Rafael shifts slightly nearer, still not saying anything. He smiles to himself when he feels one of Fred’s hands reach up to rest on Rafael’s hip.

“I was a short, scrawny child--I spent a lot of time in the hospital and home sick--and I couldn’t afford to give the other boys in my school one more reason to pick on me so I just… didn’t say anything. I’m not proud of it, but it’s not like Benn had any trouble sticking up for himself. I doubt he would have appreciated anyone stealing his opportunity to get into one more fight anyways.”

Rafael covers the hand Fred has on his hip with his own, deciding now is not the time to joke that he can’t ever imagine Fred as scrawny. Fred clears his throat again and continues in the same calm, rehearsed manner. Like this is something that he witnessed happening to someone else.

“It wasn’t long after that that I had my own month of absolute pure terror and confusion. It was one of Bennett’s teammates from the swim team that actually sent me over the edge. His name was Bobby and he was gorgeous. He had never made any jokes about Bennett, never joked about changing somewhere else in the locker room. He was a little stupid, I can admit that now, but back then I thought he was perfect. I worshipped my brother and this pretty boy clearly did the same.

“Well, I was horrified. Up until then I had been fully and completely in love with a girl I had known practically since infancy. Was all of that a lie? Was being gay genetic? Was Billy going to go through the same thing? It took me a whole month before I had the guts to ask Bennett and I nearly stabbed him with our father’s letter opener when he laughed at me.”

Rafael winces again, knowing how touchy Fred is now, a grown adult well-respected in his professional field and still a little obsessed with slights, perceived and real. Fred huffs, forcing any trace of bitterness out of his voice.

“He told me that you can like girls and boys at the same time and that I should go see if I still liked jerking off to pictures of Jennifer Connolly.” Rafael isn’t able to suppress his snort.

“I always liked Carrie Fisher,” he tells Fred, smiling over at him.

“You would, you pervert,” Fred shoots back. “Probably loved that bikini, didn’t you?”

“I think I’ll plead the Fifth on that one.”

Fred shakes his head and sighs deeply.

“Well, naturally, that was enough humiliation for me for one afternoon and so I threw a throw pillow at him and bolted for my room.”

“Did you jerk off to Jennifer Connolly?”

“Rafael, I can still kick you out of this apartment.”

“Sorry.” Rafael is silent for all of twelve seconds before he asks again, “Come on Fred, I’ve got to know; did you?”

“...Maybe,” Fred reluctantly admits. Rafael laughs and squeezes his hand.

“Moving on from your prurient obsession with my teenaged masturbatory life,” Fred says pointedly, managing to sound arch, offended, and haughty all at the same time. “I contemplated for a while what Benn had told me. A long time actually--that percolated in my brain all throughout the rest of high school. I only ever dated girls, I ignored it completely every time I was even remotely attracted to another boy, but I kept thinking about that. Not only did I have a lifelong conviction that if Bennett said it it must be so, but it just sort of felt right, you know?”

Rafael nods, remembering a similar feeling he had when he was younger. Despite what the other boys in his neighborhood said about “queers”, despite what the Church said, and despite what he knew his father would do to him if he heard Rafael’s thoughts, he was what he was and that was that. Fuck anyone who said different, he remembered thinking. It’s not like he could change it, even if he wanted to.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he answers when it’s clear that Fred requires some encouragement to continue. Fred twines his fingers with Rafael’s before carrying on.

“I lived with Benn in college. Our father bought him an apartment in Cambridge the day he got his acceptance letter from Harvard, and it only seemed logical that I’d move in once I got accepted too. And, I don’t know. It was a little easier there.” Rafael thinks he grimaces, but it’s hard to tell in the dark.

“It has been a while though, since I’ve indulged. And I've never participated frequently.” Every word seems like it’s forced out of Fred’s mouth.

“All this to say, Rafael,” Fred murmurs, inching closer across the sheets, “Is that the problem was never you.”

Rafael gathers him into his arms this time. Fred goes willingly, releasing a heavy, shaky breath and clearly relieved to not be talking about this anymore.

“I know,” Rafael reassures him. “I know it wasn’t me. I was just… I don’t know. I was worried.” He smiles, giving Fred another squeeze. “You’re a delicate little flower Freddie, I want to make sure I don’t trample all over you.”

“Get out of this bed this instant.”

Rafael laughs and they settle down to sleep.

***

The three of them celebrate in Rafael’s tiny Brooklyn apartment when Fred returns from Baltimore. He insists that he wants to cook and, though he had his doubts about his equally minuscule kitchen, manages to turn out an incredible ropa vieja. His mother would be proud.

When the empty plates are discarded on his coffee table, stacked haphazardly and waiting to eventually be washed by whoever loses the inevitable game of ‘who had the harder day’, Rafael sinks back into the couch and smiles benignly basking in the praise of the two of them and their company. Four days is starting to become too long to go between times when they’re all together and though he wants to frown at the unpleasant feeling of missing the both of them when they aren’t around he loves it a little bit as well. Every other wandering thought was of the two of them and he can’t deny that it's nice to feel these first desperate stirrings of a relationship again.

“I don’t know how you made all of that, Rafael. I’m pretty sure my cousin Caroline had a bigger kitchen in her dollhouse.” Fred surprises him when he leans closer to Rafael, snuggling contentedly against him. Rafael had told the third of their little trio that he and Fred had finally slept together--hiding things in a threesome was the quickest way to hurt feelings. Everyone was going to eventually do things without everyone involved and it’s best to just let that out in the open--but he hadn’t expected Fred to offer such casual affection so freely.

Rafael catches her looking at the two of them with a soft smile on her face and returns it with one of his own. She hid it well but she was a little disappointed during their FaceTime when he had warned her that Fred might not be overly demonstrative yet. Rafael knew she felt a little--guilty wasn’t the word she would use, he knew, if he could ever get her to talk about it--uncomfortable about how much more open Fred was with her than he was with Rafael. He loves how hard she tries to remind him that Fred is just anxious, cautious, a little scared. Rafael is a grown man and doesn’t need his hand held, but the fact that she tries to anyways makes his heart feel like it’s growing through his ribcage sometimes.

When Rafael looks back down at Fred he looks like he’s about to fall asleep with his head nuzzled against Rafael’s shoulder. He would describe it as endearing until Fred moves one of his hands high onto Rafael’s thigh. Rafael smirks.

“All it took was one night and he’s already falling for me,” he says to her in a stage whisper. Fred is unfortunately still awake enough to jab Rafael in the ribs, settling down only after the air is knocked out of Rafael’s lungs with an “oof”.

“As long as you remember to invite me to the wedding,” she teases. Rafael watches her duck admirably as Fred throws a cushion at her head.

“You’re supposed to throw a bouquet at me, not a pillow!”

#rafael barba x frederick chilton #rafael barba #frederick chilton #law and order svu #hannibal #fanfic #fanfiction

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years

Text

Drive By ~ Reggie (part 2)

A/n: This part’s Discord link! I want to clarify this time that the discord server is actually run by @httpnxtt ! So bless her for giving us a place to SCREAM (as we so often do!) Also I wrote this listening to “Lover Man” by Ricky Montgomery and this HEAVILY follows that song so feel free to listen to it to enhanse the experience!

Word Count: 7400+

Warnings: OKay so listen this part could potentially be super triggering so READ THIS PLEASE!!!! Grief (blaming yourself, anger, depression, etc), trauma reaction to arguing/yelling, trauma reaction to assumed physical abuse, implied minors having past sexual experiences, internalized homophobia, people discriminate against soulmates in this au, implied domestic disputes, rejection. I... think that’s it I’m so sorry if I’ve forgotten something.

MASTERLIST

Reggie really hated soulmates.

He liked seeing other people and their soulmates, and he loved talking about soulmates with other people. It's just, if he'd had the choice, he wished more than anything that he could have just... not had one himself. He'd rather just be one of those odd people who never manifested a soulmate connection; that would be so, so much better if this is what having a soulmate meant for him.

Now, Reggie didn't always feel this way. When he was younger he used to listen to people talk about their soulmates all the time and dream of a future when he got his. His parents had been one of those people who strongly believed that soulmates were a bad thing, and had been open and proud that they weren't soulmates. Maybe seeing them argue all the time had been the basis of his love for soulmates, and his drive to find his.

If only he could tell his young self that life isn't that simple. There's no magical cure to loneliness, and soulmates aren't all they're cracked up to be. Not for him. Nothing ever was, for him.

"Reg?"

The bassist looked over, eyes wide as his name was called. "Yeah?"

Alex was the one looking at him, concern creasing his features. "You seem really distracted today. You alright?"

In all honesty, he absolutely wasn't. Ever since they'd been forcefully brought back into the land of the living as ghosts, and now they were trying to make a band again and Alex had found his soulmate and the world was so crazy different and Luke was acting weird like he ALWAYS did when soulmates were involved and Reggie was really overwhelmed.

"Yeah," he answered anyway. Thinking about soulmates makes him finally make a decision he's been trying to avoid for a few days now. "I'm a little restless. I think I'm going to go on a walk. Take a page out of your book." He smiles and stands up, and Alex nods.

Luke looked over. Reggie should have known Luke would have known that Reggie didn't like walks like Alex did. "Do you want company?"

"No," Reggie answered immediately. It came off less as desperate and more insistent though, so he didn't stress about how fast he'd said it. Usually he'd love to have Luke around, but he couldn't for what he wanted to do. Especially because he knew the only reason Luke wanted to go along is because the last time one of them went on a walk they came back with a soulmate mark, and he didn't want Luke to be all over him and protective. He couldn't deal with that right now. Luke's face fell though and Reggie added, "I just need some space you know?" His voice was soft this time, and Luke nodded after a second, a small smile on his face.

With that, Reggie poofed out of the garage and was outside, turning away to begin walking down the road.

The sun was going down before he found what he'd been looking for. He'd had to sneak around and peak where he probably shouldn't of, but he had to know. Fine, it was creepy. He wasn't proud. But he... he HAD to know.

It was his snooping that had brought him to the graveyard.

Walking through the yard looking at every single head stone searching for the one name he was most afraid to see but knew he eventually would, Reggie realized that in all of the things that he had imagined when he'd thought about tracking down a certain someone from his past every single outcome possible made him just as sick as this did.

Finally he came across the grave he was looking for. At the top was a name. Y/n's name. Reggie sat on the dirt, legs crossed, hands in his lap. As he looked at the grave, he felt the top right corner of his chest itch. The spot just below his collar bone. His hand itched to touch it, but he wasn't like Luke. He didn't give into urges. He was too afraid if he touched it enough times people would realized the real reason he never wanted to change in front of anyone else.

His eyes closed and he sighed. He leaned forward, resting his forehead on the gravestone. "I remember the night you left. The hours Luke spent crying when his soulmate mark turned grey. I remember Alex holding him so tightly and calming him down. How I had to..." He swallowed. "I had to be quiet about how much it hurt me too." He sat back, his eyes opening again as he looked at the year on the tombstone. He reached out, his fingers grazing over the year Y/n had died. "You died the same year we did. I wonder how it happened. How many months were you around that we weren't? What-" His voice choked with emotion. "Did you hear about us? What happened? Did you even care?" His voice was soft and it faded, his hands raising to rub at his face. Finally, Reggie shook his head and moved to his feet. He bent down to touch the top of the stone. "I'm sorry for how things happened all those years ago." And then he turned away and he left, and he didn't look back.

"You should ask him out."

Reggie jumped and his eyes whipped around. When had Y/n gotten to the studio? "Oh hey." He tried to smile and laugh the comment off, but his fear at being caught red handed made his stomach twist and both the sound and the expression he made were contorted with awkwardness.

Y/n rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall next to Reggie. "Listen I might be gay, but I'm not stupid." He grinned. "Luke. Talk to him."

Without meaning to, Reggie looked back at Luke. He was talking to Alex and Bobby about the newest song he'd written and how he wanted it to sound. Alex had asked about what the song was about and it had set Luke off for half an hour. Reggie hadn't taken his eyes off of the lead singer since the conversation had started. When talking about music and things he was passionate about in general, Luke was so... beautiful? That really was the word for it. He wouldn't have done it if he hadn't been sure no one was looking... he'd forgotten Y/n was coming over today. Even then, how did the dude just walk in without alerting a single other person in the room?

Reggie cleared his throat and looked away from Luke. At least it was Y/n. He didn't have to hide from Y/n. In the small time he'd been going out with Luke, Y/n had been the most amazing person Reggie had ever met. He was so warm and welcoming. He made Reggie feel safe, like every time he was around Reggie was coming home. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced since his parents had ruined the feeling of safety and belonging in his house, and since his feelings for Luke had made everything so weird for him in the studio. Both places had lots of good feelings and memories and got so very close, but it was Y/n that really drove it home, if you will. Because of this, when Reggie spoke, it was with defeat and not denial. "I can't."

"Why not?" Y/n asked.

Looking over at Y/n with an odd expression, Reggie felt himself get really confused. Was this one of those times he had missed something that was obvious to most people, or was that as weird as it felt? "You just learned I have feelings for your boyfriend and you want me to act on them?"

A soft, low laugh rumbled and Reggie felt himself smile despite himself. "He's not my boyfriend." Something between a grimace and a bittersweet smile rested on Y/n's lips, and slowly the sweet part of it was fading away. "He made that very clear." Reggie went to defend Luke but Y/n just held up a hand. "I know. I understand, I really do. Soulmates are like a huge taboo, and it doesn't help that we're both dudes. Trust me, I know how bad it can ruin your life when people find out you're not straight."

Reggie thought about Alex. "Most of us do," he said without thinking.

Y/n just nodded, not pressing Reggie for more information. Y/n was really good about reading people like that. Knowing what to say and when to say it. It was as if he could feel the spike of panic that Reggie had felt a second after saying what he had. "And I understand that too. I don't BLAME him. I'm not MAD at him. It just sucks. I mean, your parents don't know we're friends. None of your fans know I even exist. I mean Bobby and Alex are IN the band and they only found out about us like a week ago. We've been seeing each other for a month and a half." He scoffed. "I hate feeling like a secret. Like... he's ashamed of me. Like I'm sort of dirty pleasure. The way people look at porn." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly he's lucky he's worth it." This was said with more humor, and Reggie was relieved to feel the dark mood begin to slip away. "I have plenty of people who'd be very public about being in love with me." Then he winked at Reggie.

Without knowing why, Reggie's face went warm and his heartbeat picked up. It was the exact same thing that had happened when Luke made eye contact with him while they were singing, or when they got too close while sharing the mic and their shoulders or legs brushed. That moment of intense adrenaline when it was suffocatingly hot and Reggie's blood was rushing and then the guy he'd been crushing on for years looked at him and made him feel like he was the only person in the room. Reggie had always been so relieved that Luke could only do that during performances, when Reggie had something else to focus on immediately. When he had to be professional, and not when they were alone and he couldn't hold himself back from kissing Luke if given the chance.

How could Y/n make him feel like that now? They were just sitting here!

"If you're sad he won't publically be with you, then-"

"Because you two can have a relationship in public. People have seen you perform and no one blinks at it. Not at the way you look at each other, or how fine you are with invading each others' space. It's just written off as bandmates stuff. You probably share a room, or have known each other very long. Unless you kissed on stage no one would even care. Only the other gays would know and what are they gonna do, judge you?" He snickered and Reggie had to admit it made him smile. "You both have good reputations. It's as fair for me to be hidden as it is for him to hide me. He hates it - I can tell. He wants to go on actual dates or just been seen in public together. He wants to tell the girls that flirt with him to back off because he's taken. But he can't." Y/n sighed.

"And you think I can give him that?" Reggie asked. Y/n looked over, obviously surprised by the tint of humor in Reggie's voice. The bassist found it hilarious that all these things seemed to be a continuation of why Y/n wanted Reggie to give asking Luke out a shot... but then something clicked in his head and his smile dropped dead in exchange for wide eyes that matched Y/n's. "You think he likes me back." It was deadpan, opposite to the torrent of emotion inside of him.

Y/n scoffed. "Well YES, but... Reggie between us, you're the closest he's ever gonna get to a real relationship. The kind he wants, at least."

Reggie wasn't having that though. "Y/n he's head over heels for you. I didn't even think there was any room in that head of his FOR romance until he and Alex went out, and even then... I mean they broke up for a reason. Sometimes I feel like the only reason he-" Reggie snapped his mouth shut, eyes darting away as he realized what he was about to say.

By the look on Y/n's face, he got the feeling eh didn't actually have to say it. Y/n just nodded. "He only wants to be with me because we're soulmates." Reggie shrunk. "It's fine, I think so too. That's why I don't think I would mind if he did date someone else, along with whatever we have. As long as the person he decides to be with is okay with it. I don't know, I really like Luke and I really like us. I just feel like he deserves better sometimes, you know?"

The thing was, Reggie didn't know. He had never seen Luke as happy as he was with Y/n. He had meant that he only thought they had started dating because of the whole soulmates thing - Luke wouldn't still be with Y/n if the boy wasn't important to him. Luke looked at Y/n the same way he looked when he talked about music. But Reggie didn't know how to say that, so what he said instead was, "You matter a lot to him." It was quiet for a second before he added, "I don't think there are many people who make him as happy as you do. Even if you're just... here."

Y/n looked at his hands. "He told me about when he was a kid, and he'd check his body for any mark or name or phrase or anything. He told me about his parents had been missing s color before they met, and how they'd only told him when he was older and could keep a secret, but how they didn't want Luke to run away from potential great love because he turned away from his soulmate like so many do. They filled his head with so many hopes and dreams and... the way he looked at me that night. Without knowing anything about me, he looked at me like I was the reason the stars were in the sky. Sometimes I think that's all it is. That we share this mark, and the universe looked at me and whispered to him, 'that one'. He wouldn't have chosen me otherwise."

"He wouldn't have," Reggie agreed honestly. "But he has now, and I think it would kill him to lose you." Y/n went to argue, but this time it was Reggie who shook his head, cutting off whatever was about to be said. "I'm serious. You two are special. Don't diminish that."

After a second, Y/n's body relaxed and he smiled, nodding. "Thanks Reg." Reggie nodded and then they both looked at Luke, who was wrapping up whatever he was talking about, as Bobby wanted to get back to practicing. "I still think you should ask him out."

Reggie shoved Y/n off the couch at that, and both of their laughter finally brought the attention of Luke, who immediately ended the conversation by coming over and being within ear shot. Which meant Y/n had the last word.

This time.

"You're touching it again." Alex's eyes shot up to see Reggie's amused smile. He had gotten into the same habit Luke did; whenever he was nervous, his thumb would reach out to brush over the inked on words on his wrist. "What's bugging you?"

Alex sighed. "I'm just ALWAYS thinking about him, you know? Like I-" His face suddenly went very red. "I don't know, this feel so different to any relationship I've ever had. And maybe that's because the only other person I really dated was Luke, but-" He shrugged.

Understanding completely, Reggie nodded. "I get it. It must be nice, to have that. Do you think he feels the same?"

The blush got worse. "I... yeah." He cleared his throat and Reggie tried not to laugh. "We've been hanging out a lot and he's been answering a lot of questions. It's still not like anything serious - we're still getting to know each other, and we're both letting this take us where we want to go. Like, it's slower than it was with Luke, but faster than Flynn and Julie explained the pace of their relationship."

That made Reggie snort. "To be fair, it took YEARS for those two to do anything about their soulmate stuff."

"Yeah but they met super young," Alex reminded. Reggie nodded - that was a fair point. "Once they talked about what the soulmate thing between them meant, they took like a few months to figure it out. It's been like a week for us and I already feel like I've known him for years." He rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes kept flickering around the studio, and Reggie felt his stomach twist painfully as he realized what Alex was doing.

He was looking for Luke.

The last time they'd discussed soulmates, Julie had asked Luke about Y/n and it had gotten... awkward.

Reggie interlaced his fingers together to stop himself from suddenly scratching the intense itch he felt over that stupid, stupid mark on his chest. He couldn't stop thinking about it, but he refused to give himself away. He'd managed to hide it from his closest friends for an entire year - he wasn't going to trip up now. "Man, I'm happy for you. You deserve this. Not just the soulmate thing, but the way you talk about Willie makes me so happy for you." Reggie grinned despite himself. "I wish I could see you two together more."

Alex loosened up, his own smile growing. "Don't you listen to me talk about him enough without having to see me be an idiot in person?"

Reggie laughed. "You know I would love to see you be HAPPY," he stressed, raising his eyebrows. He always corrected his friends when they dished on themselves. "What you guys have is special."

Alex tilted his head. "You know, I always wondered what it would be like for you to get a soulmate. I bet you'd be even more a disaster than me."

Reggie had to remind himself that he was dead and didn't have a heartbeat, because he was sure he'd had a heart attack when Alex had said that. Once again, the urge to touch that damn mark was strong and he clenched his hands into fists so tightly his knuckles went white. "Yeah I've always wondered too." He cleared his throat. "That won't get you out of talking to me about Willie though. Come on, I have questions!"

The distraction worked... For now. He hoped it would keep working just a little longer.

Luke had fallen asleep hours ago, curled up with Y/n on the couch in the studio. His breathing was even and low and soft and it was almost enough to help Reggie go to sleep too. Only almost though, because Reggie was REALLY distracted by the way he looked with his hair falling in his face and his cheeks squished as he lay his head on Y/n's chest. He was even more distracted by the thought of being like that with Luke and feeling guilty because the more he thought about it, the smugger Y/n got and the smugger Y/n got, the more Reggie thought about it. It was a cycle and he was slowly going absolutely insane - the entire time, Y/n wore a knowing smile and barely held back from busting up laughing at him.

It was no different now.

"You're ridiculous," Y/n sighed softly.

"Shut up," Reggie complained, his eyes closing. It wasn't so much an order as it was a whine, and Y/n had to force himself not to giggle. Laughing would move his chest and wake up Luke, and the boy desperately needed sleep.

Y/n sighed. "I don't know why you don't just ask him out." This time Reggie groaned, but still kept it soft as not to disturb Luke. Bobby and Alex had gone home hours ago, and the three of them had stayed to talk, but Luke had fallen asleep so that Y/n was pinned. The problem was he couldn't get comfortable as he sat in the middle of the couch, leaving him nothing to lean against and fall asleep on. Y/n had invited Reggie to sit next to him and be Y/n's pillow, but the bassist didn't think he could handle that AND Luke without combusting.

Pulling his thoughts away from thinking about Y/n sleeping on him - because for some reason, that was so much harder to deal with than imagining Luke doing it, in the sense that it made his heart want to explode and his head feel fuzzy and his skin tingle and that terrified him in a way he could not explain - Reggie moved his gaze toward the roof before saying, "It wouldn't work out."

There was some shuffling and Reggie looked back to see Y/n very slowly, skillfully maneuvering Luke in a way that didn't wake the brunette as Y/n slipped out from underneath him. Luke complained in the form of sleepy, incoherent mumbles and scrunching up his face for a few seconds, but was otherwise undisturbed. Reggie was astounded. Luke was a light sleeper, so the feat alone was amazing... but also, if Y/n could do that the whole time why hadn't he done it much earlier instead of asking Reggie to join the sleep train?

While he was busy being surprised, Y/n settled in a new spot, next to Reggie. He reached out, his hand cupping Reggie's cheek to gently bring the boys' eyes to a meeting point. Reggie felt his throat clog up and swallowed to force down the lump attempting to choke him. "Reggie," Y/n asked in a soft voice, eyes earnest and wide. "Why don't you think you deserve love?"

Reggie was speechless. How could Y/n have POSSIBLY known that? "I didn't say-"

Y/n shook his head. "You didn't have to. But that's not important. Don't start lying to me now." Y/n was very close and Reggie could not summon a single helpful thought in all of the possible workings of his human mind. He HAD many thoughts, but not a SINGLE one of them included him thinking straight and it was immediately an intense struggle. "Reggie, you are so amazing," Y/n whispered, and the raspy touch in his voice made Reggie die a little bit inside. "You're so kind and warm and soft, like as a person. You feel so much and have so much compassion and care so much about people. I don't know what you think it is that has you so convinced you don't deserve EVERYTHING the world has to offer and more, but I promise you that everyone who matters? Alex, me and Bobby, and YES, even Luke - we all see how incredible you are. Please tell me you can see it too, even just a little bit.

A good swallow finally dislodged the lump in his throat, and Reggie found his voice. "Y/n..." He shook his head, and Y/n's hands fell to his shoulders. "I just feel... different than everyone else. I'm..." He couldn't find words. "It's not that I don't think I deserve happiness. I just feel like I'm not ever going to find it. Not like you and Luke. I don't think that's part of what's going to be in my future. I feel like I'm missing something important sometimes. Something other people just have, and are born with. Like a really key part of a puzzle?" He shrugged, turning his head away.

"Oh Reggie," Y/n whispered in that same soft tone that spoke volumes of softness and fondness. "How could you think you need anything other than what you already have, when what you have is so amazing and special?" Reggie looked over as Y/n's left hand shifted Reggie's collar to touch his skin at the top right of Reggie's chest with his palm. Y/n's fingertips grazed Reggie's neck. "Do you feel that, Reg? Your heart..." Reggie realized why Y/n had moved his shirt - to feel his heartbeat. "You bleed kindness. You have always, I think. From what I've seen, and what I've heard, you're surrounded by hardship and hate and struggle, and somehow you came out of all of it with a heart gushing with love. I don't care what you think you're missing. You have THIS, and that is ALL you need. YOU are enough, Reginald. You are all anyone ever needs."

Reggie felt an... odd sensation. A warmth that spread through his body, from where Y/n touched him. At first he thought it was just that the words had touched him so much, but as the warmth faded, there was something left behind. A tingly buzzing sensation, right where Y/n's palm touched Reggie's chest.

Eyes widening, Y/n moved his hand away. It was only then they both realized it was the same hand he had touched Luke with for the first time. The same hand that had the Rose tattoo. The one that matched the one on Luke's shoulder. The shape that marked the two boys soulmates. The mark which before had been only one outline of a rose... but was now two roses, crossed over each other. Identical, but facing opposite directions. Their stems curled the same way, the tilt was the same, but they faced opposite directions, ending up crossing each other.

"Oh my god," Y/n whispered. His eyes moved to Reggie's chest, which was still slightly exposed. His eyes went wide, his face draining of color.

A sort of panic suddenly flooding him, Reggie shot to his feet and flew to the bathroom. He tugged down the color of his shirt, looking in the mirror. To his horror, where Y/n's hand had touched his skin was the detailed drawing of a rose without any color. The same mark that had been on Y/n's palm and Luke's shoulder since they had met. Their soulmate mark.

His eyes caught motion and he looked over to see a suddenly shy Y/n in the doorway. "So," the teen edged, tension in his shoulders and hesitation in his eyes. "I guess this means we're soulmates too. How fun is that?"

"I guess I failed on that whole not coming back thing." Reggie was sat on the dirt plot in front of Y/n's gravestone again, shaking his head at himself. "I promised last time was my last time. Did the same thing the time before that." Reggie could feel his heart ache and his stomach tie into knots so tight that they gave him a stomach ache. His eyes watered as he looked at the name on the stone, blurring the words as he felt his heart scream in his chest. He put his face in his hands, slowly moving his fingers so they wound into his hair. "I miss you so much." He was crying, his body shaking violently as he tried to hold it in and failed. "God I'm so sorry Y/n. I'm so sorry I ran from you back then. That I pushed you away and ignored you. You were the only person that knew. The only person I could talk to about this."

For a second he cut off, and he really cried. He cried and cried until his throat was sore and his body felt painful from how tight it was wound. He knew the pain wouldn't last. Physical pain never did now that he was a ghost. It didn't change the fact that his very soul ACHED. He felt like he was missing something important. Something irreplaceable. Something precious. And it was all his own fault.

When his voice returned, it was watery and weak. His words were torn and broken with hiccups and stuttering. He was absolutely miserable. "Y-you said- I tried to- and you just-" He pulled on his hair, suddenly ripping his hands away from the strands to angrily wipe at the stupid tears that wouldn't let him talk. He NEEDED to talk. He had to get out what he was feeling and make sense of all of the thoughts in his head.

He had gone through denial the first time he'd come here. He'd thought it was some sort of conclusion. A letting go of the past, to know that Y/n was gone. It was supposed to be an answer to a question. He was supposed to be relieved to know what happened. He was supposed to just find out where Y/n had ended up and then be fine with it. He had even visited the second time only to give a proper goodbye, and that was when it had hit him.

Y/n was gone. He hadn't grown up. He hadn't found happiness. He hadn't experienced a world accepting of him. He hadn't found someone else and been happy and safe like he deserved. The pain that thought brought him was more overwhelming than the realization that Reggie himself had suffered the same fate. More sharp than even Alex or Luke suffering the same fate, because at least the three of them had each other. They had Julie and the band, and they had skipped right to the good parts and missed all the bad parts where people fought tooth and nail for the world they had now. But Y/n had only ever had Sunset Curve. He didn't have anyone else that cared about him. He had died, probably alone and miserable, feeling rejected by the two people he felt for the most, and probably forgotten by the two friends he had. The only four people that had been kind to Y/n in a very long had all shut him out and in his last moments, he had no one to turn to.

The third time Reggie came to visit, the pain had been replaced by guilt. He had spent nights awake thinking about all the times Y/n had begged Reggie to tell Luke about the rose. About Reggie being their soulmate too. Y/n had spent weeks and weeks trying to get them all on the same level. Trying to work it out. But Reggie had rejected him. Had run from him, the same way Reggie had been run from. He hadn't helped when Y/n had needed it as things turned south with Luke. He hadn't helped when Luke had come to him looking for advice after the fight with Y/n. He had told Luke to forget about it, and now Luke hated soulmates and Y/n had died alone and it was all Reggie's fault. If he had just been braver. A better friend. A better soulmate...

His fourth time at the grave, all he felt was anger. Anger at himself. Anger at Luke and Y/n for fighting. Anger at these stupid soulmate marks. Anger at the world that had raised him for seventeen years to hate the best parts of himself. To fear the way he loved, and the people he loved. He was angry at the nightmares and the pain and the worry and the stress that had been so needless. Why couldn't men be in love with each other? Because it wasn't how people had loved each other in public? Because it was new? Because it was different? Why were soulmates so terrible? Well that one he knew. Soulmates had been such taboo then because it was one less thing people could control. One less part of peoples' lives that could be locked down and forced around. A power stronger than any law. An energy that fueled hope. Hope, an emotion stronger than even fear if grown and bolstered. And that's what soulmates did, right? Encouraged people to think differently. See more. Try something new. Soulmates could be two men, or two girls, or a man and a woman. It could be anyone. Soulmates didn't gender code like society wanted them too, so obviously they were evil. Julie had gone off about it one day and you know what she was right! It was bullshit!

It was the fifth time Reggie had come with pleading eyes and begging and pleading. He had sat in front of that stupid gravestone and tried not to cry as he prayed to whoever might be listening. As he talked to thin air. As he picked up fistfuls of dirt and chucked them at the gravestone and demanded a second chance. He had screamed and kicked it and almost fallen on his face when he went through the stone. The fifth time Reggie had lost his mind, and he had spent hours trying to just get the chance to say sorry. To tell Y/n all the things he'd been wanting to tell him for so long. All he wanted was five minutes. Didn't he at least deserve that?!

Now Reggie had no other emotions left. He didn't have denial to lean on, or anger or desperation or anything else. He had used up every emotion he could think of - even jealousy for a while, as he listened to stories about Julie and Flynn or Willie and Alex. He had used one after the other until he was left stripped bare and emptied out. And now as he sat there, he cried and cried until the sadness was gone too and the tears all ran out. And then he just sat there and stared at the grey stone that was always cold and always had Y/n's name on it and offered no help or love or reprieve or condolences or even a little mercy. He looked at the grey stone and he felt a sort of kinship with it. He felt his insides pulse with a dull ache, as if they were sore. It sat there, reminding him consistently that he just felt... hollow. Empty.

Numb.

His fingertips grazed over the words carved to make Y/n's name, and he thought of the time that Y/n had tried to touch Reggie's soulmate mark; something Y/n did to Luke to remind both of them that they were soulmates. He remembered the day Y/n had begged Reggie to realize what they were. To really know it and really FEEL it and Reggie... he had pushed Y/n's hand away and said something he'd regret the rest of his life, and even after that.

How could one hotdog take so much from him in one go?

It wasn't fair.

"Reggie..."

Immediately, Reggie felt his body tense. "Where's Luke?" was his reply.

With a careful tone, Y/n answered, "That's what I came to talk to you about." Reggie's body only grew more rigid, but that didn't stop him moving away with ease and much speed when he felt Y/n's fingers graze his shoulder. He had been doing that every single time Y/n touched him since... since... His hand twitched and he almost touched the mark he had been ignoring for weeks, but managed yet again not to. "Reg," Y/n whispered. His voice sounded so frail and weak. So desperate. It was enough to break Reggie down enough that he slowly turned around.

And then immediately regret it.

Y/n looked like he'd been wrung out and hung to dry up in the sun. His skin was a different color than usual, like he felt queasy or was sick. There were bags under his eyes, and a expression on his face that made Reggie's heart burn with a pain he wasn't prepared for. He looked like he had been crying instead of sleeping. "Y/n... what happened to you."

Immediately, Y/n's shoulders sagged. he looked so small and defeated that Reggie drew back even more. The very air around Y/n simmered with pain and ache. "I'm... trying to make this work. This thing with Luke and- and with you-"

"Don't include me in that," Reggie snapped. He hadn't meant it to come out so harsh, but his panic had gotten the better of him and he had sounded angry. Like he was accusing Y/n of something.

Y/n's vulnerability was crushed to dust, and his face hardened and his body began to shake every so slightly. Reggie felt the yelling coming before he could hear it, and immediately his head was full of night spent curled in bed, trying to sleep as he crushed his ears with pillows and blankets and even his own hands to try and make himself stop hearing the shouts down the hall.

Y/n never yelled. He hadn't yelled once.

Hearing him yell now was so terrible that Reggie was stunned into silence for a solid minute.

"GODDAMNIT REGGIE!" He shoot his hate, his face twisted and his hands curled into fists and for a terrible second he thought Y/n was going to hit him. And then he immediately didn't understand why, because Y/n forced his hands opened and the earnest desperation was back and despite his anger he was pleading, and in that moment Reggie realized what he should have known by now: Y/n would never hurt him. Y/n would never hurt ANYBODY. Reggie was the one causing pain, and it was to the softest, kindest person he had ever met. The person who felt more pain than anyone else Reggie knew, and who still refused to let it destroy him. When Y/n spoke again, Reggie felt terrible to hear how raw the words sounded. "I'm trying to make you understand. I- I-" His eyes watered and Reggie felt a part of him shatter. "I lo-"

"Don't you dare say it." It came out as a plead, soft and wet and corrupted by a primal fear that made Reggie feel sick to his stomach to hear.

Whatever Y/n had heard in those words, it had taken something vital from him. His face went slack and tears fell down his face. Slowly, one at a time. He just looked at Reggie like he'd been slapped, and Reggie wanted to run away but he was frozen in place. "Do you just not like me back? Is it just about Luke? Do you only-?"

"I don't like Luke," Reggie demanded, finding strength in his voice again.

"Yes you do!" Y/n insisted. "I KNOW you do Reggie! I know you do because I see the way your hands twitch when Luke is near you, like you're dying to touch him. I see the way you look at him when you think no one is paying attention. I know he keeps you awake on the nights you can't sleep, and I know he's been as close to home as you could get for years because you go to him every single time you're upset or lonely or unsure. You seek comfort in him when you're hurting and you look to him for direction when you're lost."

"Stop it," Reggie whispered, his fingers curling into claws, nails digging at his skin even through his jeans.

Y/n just kept going. "And I know he feels the same about you because he says your name like it's the most beautiful word he's ever said, and he touches you like it brings him peace, and he talks about you like your his favorite song, and he's driven so intensely to be close to you like you're a fire and he's freezing. I see the way he looks at you and if I had a penny for every time he mentioned your name when the two of us were hanging out alone, I wouldn't be-"

"STOP IT!" His hands flew up to cover his ears... but for some reason Y/n cringed away from him. It felt like a punch to the gut to realize that Y/n had the same reaction as Reggie's had earlier. Y/n had, for some reason, thought Reggie was going to hit him. A look of guilt crossed Y/n's face and Reggie knew exactly what he was thinking. Reggie would never do something like that.

Whatever Reggie had, Y/n had it too, and that somehow made it so much worse.

For a second, they just sat there in silence. But then Reggie lowered his hands, very slowly, and Y/n spoke. "Is it because of me? What I was before you guys met me? What I did?"

Reggie didn't have to ask what Y/n meant. He knew full well how Luke and Y/n had met, and what it had meant. He knew that Y/n was touchy about this topic. He knew that it was something that Y/n had stressed about for a long time until he'd learned that Luke didn't really care or think about that stuff. How much it had been a relief for Y/n to get away from a life full of people and relationships that only wanted one thing from him. How nice it had been for him to get a break from meaningless interactions and one night stands and phone numbers he never bothered to keep.

Reggie also knew this had NOTHING to do with that. Reggie didn't care about Y/n's past, or how other people saw him. He knew better. He knew Y/n had a person. However, upon being given any other reason than the truth, Reggie's instinct was to take it and run. However, he knew this was worth than the truth. And for a split second he had to switch gears from accepting the excuse to dismissing it. He had to take just a fraction of a second to shut that down in his head, despite what his first thought had been.

It created a moment of hesitation.

A moment Y/n took as an answer.

Even when Reggie finally stuttered out an, "Of course not!" Reggie knew it was too late. Y/n stepped away from him, his face crumbling. The air had been knocked out of Reggie's body as he scrambled for something to say. "It's not Y/n I swear."

Y/n looked him dead in the eye. "Then what is it?" Reggie's mouth snapped shut. "Please Reggie, give me one other reason that makes sense. Tell me that it's not that you see me the same way everyone else does. That you're not just a little bit disgusted with me, and that's why you HATE the idea that we're soulmates. Tell me why it makes you so angry to think of being with Luke, when you're so obviously into him, if it's not because not even a little part of you think he's tainted because he's been with me even if it's not... like THAT."

Reggie did the worst thing he could have ever done.

He stayed silent.

He was too petrified to give Y/n the answer that could fix all of this. The answer that could clear the air. Maybe Y/n could help. Maybe they could make everything better. Maybe...

Whatever he'd been thinking it didn't matter, because the words didn't come out of his mouth and then the door to the studio opened and Luke was standing there, looking between them with eyes full of concern and confusion as the poor boy watched the two most important people in his life argue. Y/n went to leave, grabbing his bag as he made his way out of the studio, and Reggie let him walk away thinking something so damaging and wrong. Something that would ruin everything - all because Reggie was a coward.

"Mommy! Mommy! The angel helped me!" Reggie didn't even process it properly. It wasn't important. It didn't pertain to him. Why would he make note of it?

How wrong he was thinking that.

His mind was so focused on Bobby who was now Trevor, who had stolen their music. Who had stolen everything closest to Luke and hurt the man Reggie would anything for. Reggie was on a war path. He couldn't think about anything else until he heard Luke distinctly whisper in the softest, shakiest voice, "Y/n?"

Reggie's head whipped around to look at Luke, only for the action to repeat again as he quickly followed Luke's gaze to see....

Unable to help himself, Reggie gasped.

There was Y/n, in the exact same condition he'd been in the night he'd stormed out after arguing for Luke. That night was branded in Reggie's mind - he was sure Y/n was even wearing the same outfit. No... Y/n had never worn white while he was alive. Why was he decked head to toe in white?

The angel helped me! That was what the little girl had said. Had she been talking about Y/n? He saw the little girl, being pulled along by her mother, and that was when Reggie realized the child could SEE Y/n. In surprise, Reggie looked back at Y/n, and as if feeling his eyes, Y/n looked back at the same time. His eyes shot a mile wide, filling with even more hurt than had already been there just looking at Luke, who Reggie realized had been the target of his sad gaze before it had landed on him. The second their eyes met, Y/n was gone, disappearing in the same flash that he had seen Alex and Luke disappear in when they disappeared.

Luke fell to the knees, and Reggie felt the world crumble down with him.

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ravenadottir · 3 years

Note

Heyyy, in one of your previous post you wrote about the boys professional life before Villa. So can you please write a similar one for after the villa and when MC moves in with them and her relationship with each LIs assistant and coworkers.

hey!

so... ok. let’s take the canon scenario under consideration here, since we know bobby leaves the hospital gig to open his own business.

bobby. while in the hospital kitchen, i think it’s safe to say the boys and bobby’s partner would be allies when it comes to making jokes about him. nothing too out there, but i wouldn't dismiss the opportunity to joke around with them, especially given the fact that they love to see him with someone, finally.

also, how they would be making us know just how different bobby is now, maybe more decisive and serious about the future. and i can bet anything that the boys would be happy for him, when he decided to leave, but would playfully say something like, “this is your fault, isn’t it? he’s growing up because of you...” wiping fake tears and fake crying on each others’ shoulders, just like bobby would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

carl. “all i’m saying is that you might have some trouble at first. carl is an amazing guy, but he’s also working a lot, at all times. he doesn’t understand what it takes to make a relationship work.” his assistant or most trusted employee would spell it out for you. the pos-villa life wouldn’t be easy, and it would take a lot of work to make carl realize he needs to slow down.

on the other hand, people would say how happier he looks every morning, and just how light his mood has been since you guys got together. “was that humming i heard coming from your office, carl?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gary. if you ever go to pick gary up at work, he already knows the teasing will be non-stop. for one, he talks about you, for two, the lads at the docks watched the show and saw how much you guys are the perfect fit.

and for three, they would definitely emphasize just how much gary gushes over you when you’re not around.

dicky, on the other hand, would make sure to give you a hard time. he knows how gary had been treated in the past and won’t make it easy for you just because you’re cute. he wants to make sure you’re in for the long haul and will make your life a brotherly hell, regardless. on the bright side, he’s like a younger brother who will have your back. he sees how much you love garebear and how dedicated you both are. and nan would definitely be sayiong things like “don’t hesitate on telling me if he fucks up.” she loves you already, mostly because of the show, and can’t wait to have youa around on the sunday dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

henrik. people at the center are definitely hearing henrik talking about you at all times, especially at the beginning, and they’ll make sure you know about it, every time you go there. “this guy won’t shut up about you.” “yes, i will... i don’t even talk about us that much... right?”

it’s endearing when they tell you just how much henrik is happier and lighter after he met you. also, you need to remember that people were probably watching the show, and there’s gonna be lots of girls who would take a shot.

and if i’m right, and i hope i am, his colleagues would be taking those people off his hands, to avoid any sparks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ibrahim. something i don’t like, but it’s the truth, it’s that his brothers would be saying things like “how did he land such a pretty girl like you? i mean, we were watching and we still can’t believe it.” his father would probably say stuff in the same tone, to which i would love to respond something that embarrasses them.

ibrahim is much more confident now, and despite the respect he has for them, i think some snarky responses he learned from bobby and gary would do the trick too. and honestly? i would love to see it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kassam. he probably has a manager and an assistant, besides the crew that takes care of the equipment. whenever they come around to pick him up so they tour is definitely a shower of compliments towards you, and of teasing towards him. “he’s not even that prickly anymore.” “the boy is in love...”

to which he responds a simple “duh. look at them.”

and i honestly love that for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lucas. why do i have the feeling that now that lucas is dating someone, and considering a future with them, there’s gonna be some mean comments? possibly gossip about how rushed it was, and definitely some jealous vibes? i don’t want to be pessimistic, but i’ve seen it first hand, how a guy like lucas starts dating, and how the girl suffers the consequences.

because lucas is not the type to go out with people from work, and now that mc got him, it’s like... she’s not gonna endure that shit, but she can’t prevent it from happening, nor can lucas. people will be whispering under their breath, and i’m sorry if his scenario is not the dreamy one, but also, do you disagree?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

marisol. honestly? her family would be so welcoming... but her uni mates? “she can’t even focus as much...” “now we know why she doesn’t hang out in the library anymore.” and more things like that.

they’ll be teasing you about much of a melt marisol is now, but they’re happy for her, jokes apart. also, if there’s game nights, and i hope there is, involving subjects from uni, they want you on their team, to make you feel welcome.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

noah. i mentioned an older woman, his boss, telling him how much he was missing out while ot giving new girls a chance, and now that he’s back to work, she’s so proud of him for taking the risk... even though i imagine her slapping the back of his head about how long, and what, it took.

i also can see her calling noah’s partner “darlin’”, in the most tender way. and now that he’s relatively famous in town, i think his partner might have some trouble, because now more than never, girls will be all over him. but that’s also an excuse the old lady has to be as rude as she wants, saying things like “have some respect for yourself and others.” which i love to see, because she knows just how much noah and his partner love each other.

#litg lucas #litg gary #litg noah #litg carl #litg henrik #litg ibrahim #litg bobby #litg kassam #litg marisol #litg #love island the game #love island the game season 2 #litg s2 #litg season 2 #fusebox #fusebox games #queue

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terrm9 · 4 years

Text

Home (Ethan X MC)

Words count: 2 700 Warnings: cursing Author’s note: This is my version of events that take place after Ethan and MC (Chiara) leave Louise Ramsey at the rehab centre. It was supposed to be fluffy piece about Ethan taking MC to his place when she says she wants to go home but somehow it got a little bit angsty.

Also, the biggest thanks to everyone that supported me to write this! You guys made my heart swell and I am going to tag you because I am so, so, so thankful you encouraged me. It means a lot to me, really.

———– HOME ———-

“I should thank you more often,” Ethan let out as he leaned back into his seat, turning the engine on.

“I think I could learn to live with that,” Chiara grinned back at him, fastening her seatbelt. “I truly am proud of you Ethan. And I also can’t wait to go home.”

Ethan nodded, his gaze fixed on the road ahead of them. Chiara observed his features, testing her skills by trying to guess what exactly is going on in his head. His knuckles were turning pale by the force he held on steering wheel with, his jaw clenched and his expression forcibly neutral. It didn’t take a genius to see that there was a war of emotions inside of him, just as it didn’t take one to see that he had no intensions to share what was on his mind at the moment.

Knowing better than to push him, Chiara teared her eyes off him and despite trying her hardest to not to, she glanced at the watch at the car’s dashboard.

5:57 PM.

One minute until Sora comes to see what happened.

Chiara can’t help it. She tried, she got rid of every single watch in her apartment, she purposefully doesn’t look at her phone and yet, every single day since the accident, she keeps checking the time, repeating what happened that day.

Locked in the room with Bobby and Danny and Travis and later only with Rafael and then all by herself, all she could do was to stare at the round white watch hanged above the door and memorize the exact time of every single moment that somehow affected that day. No matter how many weeks have passed, no matter how much she tried to persuade herself, as well as everyone else that she was okay now, she kept checking the damn time every day.

“I meant what I said back then, Chiara,” Ethan spoke abruptly, breaking the thoughts occupying her mind. “That I wouldn’t have done that without you. If it wasn’t for you, I would never give Louise a second chance. I would never even try to forgive her.”

“I am not sure that’s exactly a good thing, Ethan. You have felt some way towards her for twenty-five years. You have only known me for almost two years now. I don’t think I should be the one to tell you if you should or shouldn’t forgive, it needs to be your decision. Something this huge cannot be decided on my suggestion of what I would do in the situation.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he shook his head, not tearing his gaze off the road. “It was not your suggestion that made me forgive her. It’s you. Your ability to always be kind. For twenty-five years I was angry. I was so angry with my mother and the thing is, I was proud to be angry at her. I was so proud to feel the anger, to not to look for her like my father did, I felt like caring about where she was or missing her, like that would make me weak. She did us wrong and all she deserved was my anger and hatred, right? And this was not only the case of my mother. Every time in my life someone hurt me I decided all I would ever feel for them again would be anger. Because if I have forgiven them, it would make me weak and they would be able to hurt me again. And then I met you and in you, I met a person that has always been nice to everyone. Even the people who have hurt her, even those who have been rude to her, strangers, a person that, despite my efforts to push her away, despite me being an absolute asshole, has always shown me how much she cared and that she would be there for me,” he gulped and took a deep breath before going on.

“When the leakage happened, I went to see Travis with Dr. Trinh. He never told me anything that could help us and I hated him with every single cell in my body. As I was leaving the room he was in, he asked me to help him with his pain, to increase the morphine dosage. I could see that he was suffering but I was so angry with him that I left him to suffer. It was on our way back to the hospital when it hit me. That if it were you at my place, you would never leave him to suffer, no matter how much hatred you felt. You are everything I have never been, Chiara and only now I know that your kindness, your ability to forgive, that none of it makes you weaker. That you are the strongest person I know. When I asked you what would you do, with Louise I mean, I knew very well that you would give her a second chance. I just needed to hear you say that. To remind me that if I gave her the chance, I wouldn’t be weak.”

Chiara smiled at him lightly and took his free hand into hers, not wanting to burden the lightness that surrounded them with worthless words.

Thirty minutes later, Ethan parked his car in the garage of his building and leaned his head into the seat back, closing his eyes.

“I was thinking about making Thai red curry for dinner, how does that sound to you?” he asked with his eyes still closed.

Chiara was looking at him, her expression both surprised and amused.

When it took her too long to answer, Ethan opened his eyes and turned to her.

“What is it? Do you hate curry?”

“What? No, not at all. I am just, well, surprised you took me here. To your place, I mean.”

Ethan furrowed his brows in utter confusion as he shrugged: “Well you said you wanted to go home so I took you-“

He stopped mid-sentence as he realized what has just happened. Opening and closing his mouth for a few times he was gaining himself some time to form a coherent sentence.

“I am sorry, Chiara. Jesus, I don’t know what I was thinking, I mean, I clearly wasn’t thinking. Of course you meant your place. Chiara I am so sorry, let me just take you there and-“

He was stopped again, this time by Chiara’s lips pressed against his.

You are a fucking idiot, Ramsey, he thought as she kissed him, feeling her grinning. All she wanted was to go home. Her home. The one where she lives. With her roommates. Imbecile.

“Stop apologizing,” she smiled as she broke the kiss. “The curry sounds great.”

They were sitting at the opposite sides of the table, both simply playing with the food on their still half-full plates.

“You’ve hardly even eaten anything,” Chiara pointed out when she noticed Ethan putting his fork down.

“Do you want to compare?” he asked back, gesturing toward her plate.

He didn’t say it to make her feel bad or to push her to finish her meal. Ethan knew Chiara wasn’t doing this on purpose, nor had it anything to do with his cooking abilities. Through the weeks, he’s noticed how drastically has her appetite decreased and how she hasn’t really gotten it back.

With everything going on these past few months, neither of them could actually eat or sleep.

Chiara simply shrugged and noticing the watch at his wrist, she asked: “What time is it, please?”

He watched down and answered: “Half past eight.”

“Precisely half past eight?”

“Precisely thirty-two minutes past eight. Why are you asking?”

8:32 PM.

At 8:37 they came to the room to take Rafael away because he slipped into coma.

At 8:39 Ethan told me that Danny was dead.

“Huh? I am just curious,” she lied and needing to change the topic, she asked another question. “Do you feel somehow lighter now that you got your closure?”

It was Ethan’s turn to shrug – and maybe even to lie.

“I actually do feel lighter. It was something I didn’t know I needed. But I am also scared – I promised Louise to visit her and now I feel like it was a stupid promise. I will hardly be able to see her again anytime soon.”

“I can come with you every time if it would help. Louise already thinks we are good friends.”

“She does?”

“She told me while she was in the hospital. Apparently, that’s what your dad told her.”

Ethan groaned, obviously bothered by the fact that his parents talk about him and Chiara at all. However, after a while, he simply muttered: “I guess I should give my dad an update, then.”

Chiara laughed loudly at the remark, the first real laugh Ethan’s heard from her all day. Knowing that both of them were finished with their meals, he took the plates back to the kitchen and decided to wash the dishes too while he was there. It gave him some more time to compose himself, to allow himself to simply feel lighter and happier, without the haunting feelings of doubt and fear of being hurt again.

He also felt guilty. Chiara has been through so much and even though she tried to act like she was okay, he knew her. And he could see rather clearly that she was not okay. On those precious nights they’ve spent together, he could hear her screaming from her sleep.

Please, you don’t have to do this.

Not Danny.

Not Bobby.

Just kill me.

Not Raf.

Travis stop!

Just kill me.

No. no, NO!

It could go on like this through the whole night. And here he was, burdening her with his family issues.

“You do realize that you own a dishwasher, right?” she disturbed his thoughts with wide grin on her face, leaning against a doorframe.

“I am sorry, Chiara,” he blurted out before he could even think about it. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I know you have enough on your plate and it was selfish from me to ask you to do this with me.”

She closed the distance between them and gently stopped the water, handing him the dishcloth to dry his hands. After she made sure he was all set, she hugged his waist tightly, resting her head on his chest.

Ethan circled his arms around her petite form and closed his eyes, letting her rose-yasmine perfume rule over his senses, taking him to the place where it could be just the two of them.

Where they could be happy.

Where they wouldn’t be broken.

“I am so happy you dragged me into this. I want to be part of your life and that means all the aspects of it. Let me be there for you, okay?”

“Will you stay for the night?” he whispered into her hair and felt his shoulders relax when he felt her nod.

After taking a quick shower, Ethan entered his bedroom in his grey pajama bottoms and didn’t even try to suppress a smile that found a way onto his mouth when he spotted Chiara sitting on the bed in nothing but his shirt, reading a poetry book she found on his bedside table.

“Come here,” she waved her hand as she closed the book and leaned into the bedframe.

Ethan sat at the edge of the bed, waiting for further instructions and was rather surprised when she pulled him toward her, his head landing in her lap. Immediately, Chiara started to play with Ethan’s hair, massaging his scalp softly.

“I can see that there is something else bothering you, Ethan.”

“There is.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

“I am scared, Chiara,” he whispered.

Chiara simply kept stroking his hair, waiting for him to elaborate his statement.

“What if I am just like her? It makes so much sense now that I see why she left us. I finally know what I have been suspecting - and fearing - all those years. That I am the picture of my dear mother.”

“How do you mean that?”

“I have always hated her for leaving us, for running away, when really, I am doing the same thing every time life gets hard. When Naveen was dying and I thought he wouldn’t be saved, I left Edenbrook. When Dolores died, I stormed out of the waiting room when you reached out to me. After your trial when it became clear that we would be working together again, I left to Brazil. And all those times I kept telling myself that it was better for the others, that I was doing it for the hospital, for Naveen, for you, when really, all I was doing was running away like a fucking coward I was. All those years I blamed my mother for hurting us and now I am doing the same to the people I care about. What if I can never change? What if I am destined to be the same failure she was? What if I hurt you again?”

There was a long silence.

Ethan hugged Chiara’s waist and closed his eyes, scared that she realized that he was right and would leave him now.

Chiara’s eyes were filled with tears as she pressed her lips on Ethan’s head, her heart broken for the man with the biggest heart, only to have it filled with so much hatred and doubt toward himself.

“If there’s something you are destined for, Ethan, it’s all the great, beautiful things in this world. And you deserve someone to show you how worthy of love you are. I will be here with you tonight, okay? Try to sleep. I am not going anywhere. Not now, not ever.”

He simply nodded, the words stuck in his throat. As if there were any words that could ever describe the way he felt with Chiara.

After she was sure that Ethan was deeply in his sleep, Chiara gently untangled herself from his grip and headed back to the living room, where she left her phone. She knew that Sienna was on her night shift tonight and so she needed to text her.

It became their ritual through these past weeks, checking on each other on the nights they didn’t spend together.

Chiara knew that, just like herself, Sienna was far from okay. She knew they were both trying their hardest to act normal and she also knew that they were both failing miserably. But Chiara had Ethan looking out for her.

Sienna had no one.

There were nights when they would sleep together in Chiara’s room, crying, talking about Danny and how much Sienna missed him, hugging each other until the sleep found them. And when they couldn’t be together, they would text each other to make sure that the other one was as alright as she possibly could be.

After returning back to the bed, Chiara found Ethan sleeping on his side, his back turned to her. Trying to adjust her little body behind him so that she could be the big spoon for tonight – which was ironic really, as she could never be anything big compared to Ethan – she wrapped her hand around his torso and after making sure that his breaths were slow and steady and therefore he was asleep, she said the words she wanted to tell him for a long time but never did, afraid of scaring him.

“I love you.”

After that, she closed her eyes and not even a minute later, she drifted off.

Ethan felt her small, warm arm as she wrapped it around his body, but decided to pretend to be asleep, not wanting to ruin the moment and also her attempt to somehow surround him completely.

His whole body stiffed at her words and it took him all the willpower he had to not to turn around and look at her. Only when he heard her soft snores indicating that she was asleep, he enlaced his fingers with hers on his chest as he whispered:

“And I you.”

Once again, THANK YOU GUYS: @queencarb @perriewinklenerdie @starrystarrytrouble @the-pale-goddess @catchinglikekerosene @udishaman @messrprongs

#open heart #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #sienna trinh #chapter 16

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bisexualbuck · 4 years

Text

My 911 Fic Writing Masterlist

(Last edited May 28th 2021)

I’ve finally decided to do a masterpost of all my writing for the show 911 which is the fandom I’ve written the most for. There are 33 fics in this post, holy crap.

(If anyone is interested, I’ve also written for Star Trek AOS, Leverage, the MCU, among many other fandoms.)

As a general note, I’ll say most of my fics have Buddie elements and I also try to have at least one Firefam moment. Also, please check each fic’s warnings.

This is going to be long so most of it will be under a read more.

Last thing, please! If you like any of these stories, please consider leaving a comment and reblogging this post.

Multi Chapter

Reaching In The Dark | 38.7k

It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

Leave My Body | 23k

"Do you want to see how it could have been? You are so sure you've been a burden on everyone you've ever met, but I can show you the truth."

Buck dies but it's not the end.

(Inspired by the movie It's a Wonderful Life)

Encore | 20.1k

“I’m going insane.”

“Did something happen?”

A dark, bitter laugh bubbles out of Buck – a mockery of joy.

“Everything keeps happening, and it’s still the same fucking day. It’s always the same and every time it’s different and I can’t do anything.”

Buck keeps reliving the same day, over and over again.

Hurt/Comfort

Death, Be Not Proud | 10.1k

There are moments barge loudly into your life and, even as you’re going through them, you know they will change everything.

There are other moments that happen quietly, unnoticed, and it’s only afterwards that you know, looking back, that they have changed your life.

When the 118 is called to a decrepit house, they don’t think much of it.

Yet this will change their lives forever.

Silent Storm | 4.4k

Buck wakes up in the hospital.

Except he can't move. He can't speak.

But he can hear everything.

Dying Of The Light | 4.1k

If Purgatory was a place on Earth, it would be a hospital waiting room.

Buck is in a coma, brain-dead - or so that's what the doctors say anyway.

(Silent Storm told from the Firefam's POV)

No Kingdom To Come | 8k

Days pass, then weeks that soon turn into months. Buck doesn’t call, he doesn’t text.

They don’t even know if he is still alive.

Maddie files a missing person’s report. Athena checks for any mention of his name anywhere in the country.

Nothing pops up, no one calls.

Buck is gone.

The Courage To Heal | 1.4k

He remembers her perfume. Thick, flowery – it makes him retch.

Why does he remember her perfume? Every time he smells anything like it, he wants to throw up, he wants to rush in the shower and try to wash away the stink of it.

Why can’t he move on?

He’s had sex with countless people over the years, especially back in his Buck 1.0 days, so why does that encounter remain? Why does it make him sick?

Why does he feel so ashamed?

Buck opens up about Dr Wells, the therapist from season 1.

The Loneliness Never Left Me | 2k

“Buck is afraid he is gonna end up like Red, without friends, without family. He thinks the job is the only thing he’ll ever have and that he’ll always be alone.”

Silence falls around them, heavy and suffocating.

“We need to show him that he’s got us."

“Not show him,” Chim says. “Tell him.”

Forever Day | 2k

The man pulls a gun out.

He aims it at Buck’s head.

“If you take another step I will blast your brains on the ground."

Hollow | ~300

Bobby on the day of his late wife and kids’ deaths, with Athena by his side.

Those Days | ~600

A look into Eddie and Christopher having a bad day made better by having each other.

Little Hope | ~500

A moment of support between two friends, Karen and Eddie, as Hen lays unconscious in a hospital bed.

Firefam Feels

Alone Again | 1.2k

Post S04E04

After standing up for himself to his parents, Buck feels hollow.

He isn't sure how he finds himself at Athena and Bobby's home, but maybe that's exactly where he needs to be.

Make It Three | 3.2k

It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.

Oh no. Oh no.

Buck just hung up on the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.

Oh no.

Buck slips up and tells Athena he loves her. He has a bit of a freak out.

Words Unsaid | 2.2k

“What’s going on?” Bobby and Buck say in unison.

“You two,” Athena announces, “are going to talk things out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Buck says, like a liar. “Everything is fine.”

Buck overhears Bobby say that he's not his kid. He doesn't take it very well.

Lay You Down | 2k

Buck is sick and can't be left alone in his feverish state, but everyone is working.

Everyone but Athena.

That Which We Carry | 2.1k

Bobby stops in his tracks.

Buck is sitting on the ground, next to his own car, his keys and phone forgotten next to him. His breathing is loud and short and he has his head in his hands so that his face is hidden.

He’s having a panic attack.

To Be Loved, To Belong | 3.1k

5 times Buck almost tells his family what they mean to him.

+1 time he does.

Buried | 2.3k

It’s supposed to be a simple call.

Of course, everything goes wrong.

Just As It Was | 2.3k

After the lawsuit, Buck overworks himself trying to prove his worth to the team.

One day, he pushes too far.

Sunlight | ~500

The Buckley siblings have a bet about what Maddie and Chim’s kid’s first word will be.

Family Matters | ~500

A look into the future at Bobby’s retirement party.

Humor & Fluff

Freedom In Love | 1.1k

“You can’t keep ignoring this,” Maddie says – again.

She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.

“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”

Green Heart | 3k

Buck starts seeing a man.

Eddie worries he is being a bigot, because the idea of Buck kissing another man makes him want to punch someone.

What else could it be?

The Most Perfect Moment | 1.7k

After Shannon, Eddie never thought that he would ever want to get married again.

Yet, a little red box lays in his pocket until the perfect moment to propose comes around.He has been carrying it for weeks now, waiting.

He wants his proposal to be perfect because he knows that this is the last time he will ever be asking this question. Buck is it for him. There will never be anyone else.

Blame It On Chimney | 1k

“So anyway, that’s how Chimney saw me full-on naked.”

Eddie chokes on his beer.

How It Looks | ~400

Someone is back to haunt Chim. Well, not exactly someone. Hen is tired.

The Rest Of Our Lives | ~500

One night, one conversation that changes everything between Buck and Eddie.

Tumblr Prompts

lover, be good to me | 7.1k

This is a collection of unrelated prompts first posted on my tumblr.

(Summary of each story in the first chapter's notes)

Eddie touching Buck’s birthmark | ~300

Eddie in a relationship is a clingy Eddie | ~200

Halloween at the station | ~500

Buck & Maddie being their cute selves | ~400

Misc.

from the bottom i come running | 3.7k

Co-written with the endlessly talented ksmalltalk / @letitialewiss

Crossover with Lone Star.

Just a soccer match for charity and two men cheering on their boyfriends.

Wait, no. Eddie and Buck are not dating, no matter what Chim and Hen can say.

In the stands, Eddie befriends TK whose boyfriend is playing alongside Buck. Out on the pitch, Buck and Carlos are a force to be reckoned with.

Oh, and someone gets hurt.

safe inside | 5.6k

Co-written with the biggest-brained and most talented chasingobligion / @starlightbuck

World-famous actor TK Strand and his bodyguard Carlos find themselves seeking shelter from fans and paparazzi in a bakery Carlos knows very well.

Baking leads to a few life changes.

Breathe You In | 2k

Eddie can’t stop staring.

This selfie is going to be the death of him.Buck is shirtless, and giving the camera an intense look that leaves Eddie panting.

Buck sends a picture that tips their relationship into something new.

#911 #911 fic #buddie #firefam #evan buckley #eddie diaz #my writing #this took me FOREVER #it's also about to kill my computer because tumblr is lagging so much so i'm just gonna post #if there is an issue with the links or something else please reach out to me thanks!!#and please reblog and comment if you like my writing!!#i might come out of fic writing hiatus at some point soonish #edited

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frankchurchillsaysrelax · 3 years

Text

wherever you’re going i’m going your way

That night Buck dreams of a person he’s never met, of a life that was never lived. He has nothing to work with apart from a photo and a name, but he’s always had an active imagination and tonight it carries him to places that could have been.

The house Buck stands in front of is dark and cold, shadows creeping out of the ground, curling mysteriously along the siding as the wind whistles secrets against shuttered windows. He doesn’t know this place. He doesn’t like this place. He knows he should walk away but his feet feel stuck, anchored to this spot.

“Evan!”

He turns to look down the street and sees a boy on a bike riding straight towards him. He looks familiar and just his presence breathes warmth into the air. Buck feels like he can move again and when he does he’s just a little boy, gangly limbs tripping him up as he moves to be closer to the older boy, desperately wanting to be caught up in his orbit.

Gravel kicks up where tires come to an abrupt stop. The sun shines brightly behind the boy, reflecting off of sandy blonde curls and expanding that feeling of warmth all around them. He knows this boy, he just can’t remember where from.

“You know mom doesn’t like you being out here by yourself,” the boy says. “Get inside before you get yourself in trouble, kid.”

“I’m not by myself!” Buck laughs, running up to the bike, reaching out with stubby fingers wrapped around the handlebars, his feet only just skimming the ground. The boy’s balance never waivers, seemingly well accustomed to this move.

“Can I ride on your handlebars, Danny? Please?” Buck looks up, squinting against the sun. He draws the last word out with an exaggerated pout of his lips and he knows, just knows, that this boy will do whatever he asks.

The boy, Danny, shakes his head but is smiling. “Don’t tell mom,” he orders seriously before reaching out to pick Buck up and put him in place on the bike. Buck feels like a king on his throne from way up here with no fear of any danger coming to him. Danny would never allow it.

Wind whips against his cheeks catching the corners of his smile as they ride together down the street.

Buck feels the wind against his face but realizes too late that he is falling. He’s falling and there is nothing to catch him, just his hands meeting pavement. There’s the burning feeling of skin breaking and then his knees hit the ground sending pain ricocheting up his legs. Laughter is the next thing he’s aware of, coming at him from all sides, pushing him down further into the hot blacktop beneath him.

“Stay down, you freak.” Buck looks up and oh, he instantly remembers being here before. Sam Powers hovers over him with a sneer on his freckled face. It’s third grade and Sam has once again decided he’d rather not look at Buck’s birthmark any longer. Dread builds at the memory of what comes next. Behind them a bus door closes as the oblivious driver pulls away from the curb, little faces pushed up against glass to watch Buck’s torment.

“Get away from him you little creep.” The words sound like a roar, louder than any bus or laughter or shame.

Buck looks up from his spot on the ground to see Daniel striding towards them through the circle of onlooking children. He looks like a god from down here, Buck thinks. He’s so tall that his golden hair touches the sky and his letterman’s jacket draws a chorus of unsuppressed awe from the crowd. He’s nothing but impressive and Buck feels only pride at the knowledge that this is his brother, come to save the day.

This never happened back then, Buck thinks sadly. The thought floats away as quickly as it came and then he’s back in the present watching as his savior finally reaches him, bending down to help him up and dust him off. The other kids watch on but Daniel pays them no mind as he takes Buck’s small hands in his and frowns at the angry, red skin peeling away from his palms. The skin feels cooler under such careful attention.

“Come on, kid.” He puts an arm around Buck’s shoulders and leads him away from the scene. They stop long enough for Daniel to level Sam with a glare so threatening it leaves the bully visibly shaken, freckles more stark against his pale drawn face.

Buck smiles the whole way towards the jeep he himself drove through high school. Once he’s settled in the passenger’s seat, Buck shares a look with his brother, feeling like he’s being included in a secret and instantly feeling infinitely cooler than the sad memory of the little boy curled up on the ground surrounded by his laughing peers. Daniel closes the door with a wink.

Buck slams the door to his jeep and clicks the button to lock the door with an echoing beep. His shoulders are heavy beneath the weight of his backpack and the general stress of being a senior in high school. He drags his tired feet across the driveway and lets himself into the side door of the house.

“Hi, honey,” his mom’s voice carries out from the kitchen, cheerful and soothing like warm tea and honey on a rainy day.

The backpack has disappeared from his shoulders but the oppressive weight remains and Buck is drawn to her, seeking out the palliative nature that fills the house with only two words.

“Hi mom,” he says quietly, pressing a brief kiss to her cheek. It feels totally normal, habitual, like they have been this affectionate his entire life.

She looks different, wrong somehow. She’s older than she should be, her hair shorter than she used to wear. She’s smiling, he realizes. Her smile is warm, comforting, and safe, highlighting the creases at the corners of her eyes, and before he knows it he is dragging her closer for a hug.

She wraps her arms around him without hesitation, her hands rub gentle circles between his shoulders and it feels like Maddie or Athena but more. It feels like a hug from his mom.

“There’s something for you on the table,” she tells him. He separates himself from the embrace reluctantly, arms moving to a script he doesn’t want to follow, and walks towards the kitchen table. On it is a large white envelope, the blue and white Nittany lion staring up at him, bold and proud. His mom’s hand rests easily on his shoulder and stops him from floating above solid ground.

“Congratulations, honey.” He was alone the last time this happened. “Your father and I couldn’t be more proud.” The words have him spinning with an unknown happiness.

He spins around and there is Maddie in her old nurses’ scrubs looking exhausted but healthy and so young.

“Maddie! You’re here.”

“Of course I’m here, Evan,” she says tiredly. “I work here.” She’s evasive, walking around him without looking directly at him. Her sneakers squeak against the too clean hospital floors as she walks further away. The wide, white halls surround them but in the corner a shadow looms, waiting for a chance to reach out and swallow them in its darkness.

“You haven’t been answering any of my calls. Or mom’s. Or Daniel’s.” He reaches out for her, unsurprised but still guilty when she flinches slightly. The shadow coils like a snake ready to strike. “We’re worried about you Maddie.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, Evan.” She finally looks at him, a familiar perfectly fake smile spread too tight across her face. “I’m happy,” she promises. She takes a step closer to the shadow. “I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”

“I don’t believe you. Please, Maddie, talk to me. I know something is wrong with him, I know you need to get away. Please just leave him,” he pleads. All the words he never had the guts to say come flowing out as a river of truth.

A pinky wraps around his though Maddie does not move. The shadow curls around her leg, claiming her. Buck looks to his right and there is Daniel in his white doctor’s coat standing strong and silent beside him. It’s like that day on the playground all over again only now Buck stands tall beside him. Together they are unstoppable. A united front. They each reach a pinky out towards their sister.

“Come with us, Maddie,” Daniel tells her with an authoritative big brother voice. Sunshine pours from his mouth cutting at the shadow with sharp rays of light.

She looks between them and finally, finally closes the circle, pinkies locked together with theirs allowing them to pull her toward warmth and safety, a light brighter than any other emerging from her to scare the darkness away.

The flash nearly blinds him. Maddie takes photo after photo of him and the small bundle in his arms. His niece is like air his hands try too hard to hold onto, far too fragile for someone so big to be holding all by himself.

“Be sure to cradle the head.”

Daniel is here, of course he is. Present at the official welcoming party for their tiny, precious niece and as always steady at his side. Athena and Bobby’s back yard is bursting with life and love once again as everyone Buck loves gathers in one place.

His mom and dad, now holding the baby, stand off to the side, bright smiles on their faces that Buck has never seen before. Maddie glows at the center of everything as Chimney, Hen and Eddie orbit around her. Bobby and Michael are at the grill while Athena, Karen, and May play with the kids. Everyone here, happy, healthy, and alive, the air buzzing with energy.

“This is a pretty good family you’ve got here, kid.”

Buck turns to look at his brother but instead finds that young boy on the bike watching the group of people around them with a wistful look on his face.

Buck wakes to the early morning light shining through his windows. Despite this and the noise Albert makes downstairs, he squeezes his eyes shut tight, desperate to not let the dregs of his dreams slip out of reach.

#my fic #911 fanfic #911 fic #evan buckley #daniel buckley #911 #911 fox #my first 911 fic and it has to be a dream sequence because of course #also i hate the ending #so yes i know it’s bad #whoops...this isn’t my side blog

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