i think i feel insulted?

woke up after a long rest with astarion missing in his usual spot but then i saw him here??? bro what the FUCK are you doing

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

anyone know if we have catgirl tomorrow

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

innocently logging in to look at the Twst schedule for May like

It is a good thing that the BG3 team is attentive and we get updates all the time, but where does it end? If they are going to continue changing stuff about the game per request, what will be there left of what they envisioned in the first place? Especially for character traits and dialogue, like making them kinder and more likeable, just because there were two more people asking for it and they happened to see it. I just don't want to see characters shift into generic ones just because of a need to respond to everyone's ideas

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

hey guys did you know that the higher the difficulter the bigger Gabriel's crush on V1 after 3-2 gets it's canon i'm like pretty sure you guys

( shoutout to @ zhimaqiu for sparking the idea lol)

royhavoc doodles from tweeter

Nbc Hannibal is so funny bc Hannibal is presented as relatively harmless at the start until he fucking bashes Alana’s skull into a wall and you’re like “oh!”

I know I've thought of a good shitpost when the premise is only funny to me and maybe three other people

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

☀ & 🌑

"there could be two beds and they will still only one bed trope their way into your heart somehow" exactly! gojo doesn't know what personal space means at aaaaaaall

satoru wouldn’t know the definition of personal space if it smacked him in the forehead, he needs to be close all the time always. 

the “actually, there are two beds” trope with him is so funny esp in a f2l setting because for every night of your trip, he finds some excuse to be in your bed instead of his. actually, he would give up rooming by himself on a group trip if it meant he got to share a room with you, because he’d find a way to share a bed with you. 

the first night, he dumps his entire suitcase on his bed, then showers, and you’re asleep by the time he comes back. and now he’s clean and moisturized and he wants to go to bed and oh no! all his stuff is still on his bed! guess he’ll have to share with you for tonight 😇 

the second and third nights he fakes having a nightmare to crawl into your embrace, and then feeling sick so you’ll coddle him to sleep. 

the fourth night, he showers first and falls asleep on your bed instead of his. you’re the respectful one who takes his bed instead, but ofc he wakes up once you’ve fallen asleep to slide in next to you, and when you groggy and confused he just hushes you back to sleep with a cheeky, “you were in my bed, don’t worry about it.” 

the fifth night, he turns the AC all the way up and says you “looked cold” so he “came to cuddle you” while you were asleep. 

he could find an excuse for every single night as long as you share a room together, but the moment you invite him in, ask him, “satoru, do you wanna share?” his brain short circuits and his face goes all red and you offering does bad bad bad things to him and now he actually has to sleep in his own bed because this is gonna keep him up all night

ahahaa what that’s so silly… imagine that… you and i… uhhhhhhhhh