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rebloged-content · 3 years

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Recommended Sanders Sides creators

Marry Christmas, everyone! And a wonderful December day to all of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, too. Let’s be honest right off the bat, though: I’m only using the date as an excuse to do this list anyways.

So. Throughout the time I’ve spent as a part of this wonderful corner of the sanders sides fandom over here on tumblr, I’ve often found a new creator and wished I’d found them sooner. It kind of makes me wonder who else I might miss. If you do to, here are a few creators I’d love for you to check out. You’ll probably recognize some of the names, if not all, but maybe you’ll find a new favorite creator here?

And to the creators in question, I really love your content. If you’ve made it onto this list, you’ve definitely cause one or two sleepless nights of reading for me, because who needs sleep if I can have this, right? XD Whatever you’ll find written next to your name is the impression you’ve left on me and… Well, just know that you’ve made some days of my life at least a little happier, all of you. And I hope to repay the favor by telling you how much I appreciate you releasing your content into this world… Well, repay the favor at least a little, I suppose.

Let’s begin, then, shall we?

@5am-the-foxing-hour Because this? This is who you go to if you want to read good Janus-content. You are in a mood to read sympathetic Janus? Wanna see the danger noodle just casually interact with other sides? Go to their short stories. I mean, “the cult”? Prime example of how to tell a story with impact in just a few words. 8 paragraphs, but boy did I read that one on repeat. Or “water spray bottle”, this one is fun, short and will make you laugh. An energy drink for the fander heart, so to say.

Then there’s their mafia-au, “there’s more in me than precious metals”. Six are out so far, and I adore every single word of every single part of this. Protective Remus, sassy Janus, angst, comedy relief, destruction, Roman-Remus-sibling-rivalry, braincell Logan, survival instinct Virgil, working together over a common enemy… This fic has it all, believe me. Take your time and read it, because you will read the entire thing in one go once you start. At least I did, and I didn’t even notice.

And their advent writings? Those had me squealing and jumping around in a way I will deny if anyone ever sees it. I don’t even know what else to say, they are fucking fantastic and that’s that.

So, yeah. Go check them out, before I start fangirling about them even more. You know my personal favorites now, so just go there. You won’t regret it.

Next up is @coconut-cluster. Ah, yes, Lexi. Lexi, whose uni-AU started as self indulgent and has become the loceit story on tumblr. We all know her, or at least most of us do, and we all love her too. And while I also drop everything I do at any point of time I possibly can once I realize the uni-au has any form of new addition, there are a lot of other fics created by her that you should check out as well.

Did you, for example, ever want a sappy prinxiety one-shot with the sappiness only being implied, a mutual understanding of “we’re-not-saying-we-care-but-we-both-know-we-do” born from joking reassurances and a not-a-date-nope-only-a-break? While that may seem to be a tall order, that is exactly what “before the sun goes down” is. Plus there’s ice cream. Or maybe you’re more of a logince fan? Do you want a fic where Roman isn’t the prince but serves His Highness? Do you like sincere talks while you’re procrastinating showing your face to the subjects you don’t really want to rule over? In that case, you really should read “Viva la Vida”. Careful, though, this one is so sweet you’ll probably get a toothache… There also is an analogical fic that I’ve enjoyed very much: “Cracks in the Ceiling”. I love it, because it’s just calm. Fears creeping up on you, thrown away by a trusted friend with a few words, just by being there and playing into the metaphors you head created this time around. It’s calm, and there’s not really a climax or anything, but it doesn’t need one. Because it’s just a glance into everyday life. It’s beautiful in its own right, really.

What I’m saying is, Lexi has a lot more wonderful stories to tell than the uni-au. It’s the most popular one, sure, and it’s one of her best works. But you really should check out her other fics as well. Lexi herself once said that she writs fics she’d like to read. I would figure it’s because of this, but her stories are mostly things you don’t really find anywhere else. Dynamics, stories, world building, all of those are aspects you may find somewhere else. But Lexi is just one of those people who see what they miss in a fandom and create it themselves, and among these creators Lexi is my favorite. She just has that certain skill that makes that approach to writing result in the most enjoyable reading experiences. Lexi’s fics are special, because they’re different, because they are authentic and you can feel that when you’re reading her work.

@djpurple3 is another talented individual I want to talk about. I have to confess, DJ is, as far as original content goes, almost exclusively locked in my brain with the fiction “I just keep loosing my beat”. 23 Chapters so far, one better than the last. It’s a bitter-sweet story following Remus and his children, after the bitch of a mother has been brought behind bars. Abusive piece of shit. Yeah, I don’t like her much. But the story is so full of love and support, everyone trying their best, everyone seeing how much the others deserve the world and wishing they could give it to them… Roman and Remus have a sibling-dynamic I would die for here, too. Patton is just the most adorable friend to Deceit - here Damion - Virgil is a precious bean, Logan is cute and the teacher we all wish he’d had ourselves and… god, I could keep gushing about this fic forever. I’ll stop now, though, before I’ll start spoiler things. Wouldn’t want to do that, especially since I really, really, really want more people to give this a go. It’s not underrated, I just think everyone who doesn’t is missing out by a lot, so… Go over there and read DJ’s fic right fucking now, if you haven’t already read it at least once. Thank you.

@delimeful, our wonderful lime-friend with a cute cat making a terrifying face in his header. First of all, there is the WIBAR universe, short for “Watch it burn and rust”. 5 chapters in act one, 4 intermissions (one of those with three chapters), one chapter of act two, as well as three extras and an au of this au called “the end of being alone”, and I’ve lost count of how many nights I spent reading those instead of sleeping like I should. (Or interacting with family. Or being productive. Or… It’s really a good story, okay?!) WIBAR is a deathworlder au. So a space au in which humans are regarded as dangerous deathworlders who can survive on a deathworld like earth. In other words, Virgil is the only human, and boy does that scare everyone around him. And the best part? You can feel the development, the shift in mentality regarding Virgil, feel the moment approach in which he isn’t a threat but a companion instead.

And, apart from the fic that inspired me enough to start writing “TINND!R?” over on my writing blog, there are a lot more amazing fics to read on lime’s blog. He wrote “How easy you are to need”, for example. It’s soft, it pulls at just the right heartstrings, it’s achingly hopeful and, god, the ending still has me in tears, even after the fifth - ? sixth? something among those lines - reread. This one’s a werewolf au, actually. Virgil is the werewolf, Logan, Patton and Roman are the humans.

Do you want yourself some of that pre-AA dynamic? I’d recommend “to taste your beating heart”. In this, Virgil gets separated from the rest of his group of vampire hunters and gets turned into a vampire himself, loosing his memories. And he’s “Anx” now, not “Virgil”, goddamnit! He isn’t their friend anymore, why don’t they understand that? Well, probably because they can still see Virgil’s old habits shining through. There’s a lot of tension, a lot of angst and a whole lot of frustration involved in this.

He also wrote some amazing one-shots. They’re mostly so well written that I’m almost sad not to be waiting on a continuation. There’s “the littlest mermaid”, in which Virgil goes to investigate a noise, finding a scared, tiny mermaid in need of help. In “community gardens” we have Remus being Remus, gaining the interest and friendship of the forest’s giant Logan. “Magical mutualism” tells the tale of a witch and a demon making a pact beneficial to both parties and opening the doors neither could have gone beyond alone. The way we’re all confused about our ships not actually having set sail yet comes to a hight in Virgil in regards to his friends in “amateur matchmakers”. And this is the point at witch I stop talking before I actually recommend every single one of lime’s fics instead of just my favorites as I had planed because I started to gush too much… XD

Let’s move on to @muppenthings. Mupp is an amazing artist and she created a giant mermaid au. There’s this one orca who’s just… We love her, but I actually don’t think she’s the brightest. I really, really love her, though. Virgil himself is being a little protective over his human friends and casually so. I love this comic series for the art style, but I also love the way it makes me crack a laugh at least once per work. Or appeal to my mother-instincts, if it’s about baby Virgil. Too cute for his own good, I tell ya! And the facial expressions! The detail, the jokes, everything about this is wonderful. You should at least take a look.

@whenisitenoughtrees. Cat got me with “This cup of yours tastes holy (This lie is dead)”. “A slow voice on a wave of phase” was next, later “Infinity and beyond”, “we are not alone in the dark with out demons” and “changing of the guard”. And then, suddenly, the night was over. I’ve read almost all of the fics in one go, and I’ve been semi-frequently visiting her master post ever since. When “There’s an endless road to rediscover” came out just a little while back, that lead to me re-reading through almost the entire list. I don’t regret it, my plans for that weekend would like to disagree.

These six fics I mentioned here are, by no means, the only ones I enjoyed. Those are just the ones I’ve found myself opening up again and again in sleepless nights. Those are the ones that pop up in my head and have me smiling to myself in the middle of god-knows-whatever-I’ve-been-doing-at-the-time.

Angst, fluff, hurt-comfort, you’ll find everything in that list. And something I’ve grown to like about Cat’s fics even more than anything else is the quick change between feeling perplexed, a startled laugh at certain wordings (you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it) and apprehension. These fics will have you at the edge of you seat, swooping you away on an emotional roller coaster. And, god, the way Cat writes from Remus’ perspective? The introductions of her stories and the way she redirects to the main topic after going into detail on something? I saved a few paragraphs as screenshots on my phone because I love them and I want to read them again when I’m down. I just… Cat’s great.

Next up is @eliemo. Because Elias Virgil is the royalty of Virgil angst. From the touch-starved Virgil we’ve all had a head cannon of at one point in “Heart of Ice”, over ace Virgil panicking over telling his boyfriends that he his ace and didn’t think to tell them before in “Love our way” to so, so much more.

Mostly EV follows the story arc of an underlying feeling of dread at the beginning, which slowly grows into panic, exploding in a storm of angst and concludes in everyone, or at least whoever is around, coming to the rescue and helping to calm down, with the end being the hope for getting better in the future. They always manage to convey the confusion, fear or just the general thought process so well that you can’t help but get absorbed in the story. They know exactly what to say and what to leave between the lines to get the maximum effect. And, your heart will definitely be shattered after their angst. Still, the way the sides comfort each other and support each other so well every time is just… I love their stories, a lot.

I want to make two more suggestions if you want to check out this creator. A Janus angst fic, which can only be described as “ouch” you’ll find under the name “snake bite”. It hurts in the best way possible, because Janus gets the comfort he deserves.

The other suggestion gets a lot darker. It’s about Virgil having been abused by the “others” before he got accepted into the light side. The others are shocked to find out what has gone on behind their backs and they help Virgil in every way they can to recover. Of cause it’s a rocky path, though. This would be “Learned Behavior”. The series/au has twelve stories so far, one of which has two parts. You’ll find the master post for this pinned to the top on their blog.

If you like angst, you should also give @maybedefinitely404 a look. Ly has a soulmate-au going, in which they use the concept of “you hear the music your soulmate listens to”. "Music in my head” is a prinxiety fic, but the two of them have yet to meet. Four chapters and two mini-fics in. The reason I mentioned angst is because in this - spoiler alert for the first few chapters here - , Virgil gets put through conversion therapy. Luckily Janus and Logan are better foster parents than the ones who did that to him.

They also have a master list for all their soulmate stories, featuring different ships. Apparently they participated in soulmate month, if I understood that correctly. And to be honest, that was how I even found their account. I absolutely adore their anxceit fic, which takes place in a human au. It’s starting off pretty sad, but the bonding moments are absolutely wonderful. It’s a lovely story, and the ending is one of the best ones I’ve yet to read. Their logince fic took my breath away, too. A flower shop/tattoo artist au, and Logan is the tattoo artist. Stunning writing, wonderful world building, just the right amount of backstory to have everything make sense without overwhelming/drowning the reader in unnecessary details. Their moxceit fiction… Well, this one had me in tears within the first few paragraphs. It’s terrible and you feel for Janus, whose perspective this is written from. The ending, though… Gods! The ending was so indescribably cute. To be honest, all of the soulmate stories are great, these three are just my personal favorites.

Concerning their one shots, you’ll probably have to figure it out on your own concerning this. I haven’t been able to read all of them yet, as sad as that makes me. Definitely palling on doing it in the future, though. I did read two of them, though. “Pippity poppity” really was amusing, and I am so looking forward to the second part of “The Boy who sings next door”. The way they write the dynamics between the sides? I live for that.

Another creator I would like to recommend is @maybe-im-tired.They don’t have a master post, as far as I could see, but they only post their content anyways, so… “Can’t take my eyes off of you” is my favorite out of their fics so far. I mean, the way they managed to fit the sheer chaos that is intrulogical into this one short fic is amazing. And you could take about two thirds of what Remus said and put it up on your wall as out-of-contexts-quotes. Don’t worry, he says them out of context anyways, and they will definitely make you laugh.

The series of short stories for the human au that starts with “Glowing stars” is another au by them that you will almost certainly like. We have Logan and Virgil as kids (about 7 I think), Remus and Patton as single parents, Roman as the most adoring uncle, Emile as babysitter and Remy as his amazing partner. Remus is a great father, wonderfully chaotic as well. And a teacher! Imagine that, Remus as your teacher... He’s great with kids though, as long as they aren’t entitled villains come to make his precious Virgil feel bad, that is.

They also wrote a bunch of “random one shots”. They are all amazing, but my favorite has to be this one. It’s a logince one, once again human au. Patton may or may not tell his big brother’s crush about the feelings he wasn’t prepared to share yet. You know, as small kids do. It’s soft, it will make you smile as much as Logan does, and I love Remus in it. I generally like how they write Remus, okay? I know how much I’ve said it, but I’m not even exaggerating. They always write him differently, and all versions they write him as are so, so lovable and just… I wanna hug the life out of all Remus versions they wrote, okay? Take a look, you’ll know why.

Anyways. Let’s continue with @figurative-siren-song. This is the last account I’ve followed and I’m still sad about it having taken me this long to find them. Little salty, to be honest. (I’ll stick to they/them because they said just not to use she/her, and, well… consistency, you know? Don’t have much, so I have to get what I can XD). When I finally did find them, I went through their entire master list (at least all of the ships with characters I actually know. I’m kinda bad with the shorts characters, so I usually just… avoid them? Idk. Personal preference, I guess), and, well… I would honestly recommend every single fic on that list. They call themself “Repair Fluff King™️” and they deserve that title. But when they warn you that a fic will be angsty, it will be angsty.

I found them through the anxceit fic “A Deal”. Well, through an animatic by their friend on youtube that had linked the fic, but details. I’ve been reading this fic up and down again and again. It’s just so good! And when they talk in the second part and Janus explains why he proposed that deal. Or in the continuation, which i can’t talk about because I will probably spoiler things! So wholesome!

Also, their losleepxeity fic “We’re worth it”. So soft! The nicknames, the plot, the everything. It’s softer than clouds look, and we all know that means something.

But, really. Everyone will find something for them by this creator. So many ships, all incredibly well written, and soft and fluffy without getting boring in the slightest. It’s as energizing as coffee, actually. And, let’s be honest, this whole fandom drowns itself in angst most of the time. Take a break from that, repair your broken hearts with goof fluffy content that you’ll want to read over and over again. Go check this creator out. You will love them.

Last but not least… @myfriendsasthesides A blog by a creator who just takes the wonderfully chaotic dynamics of a friend group and using that to give us content of incorrect sides quotes. Maybe it doesn’t fit with me going on and on about fics here. I don’t care. Follow them and turn on those notifications, please, because seeing even one post of theirs on your dashboard will make your day. It’s funny, it’s absurd, it’s chaotic, it’s making you jealous of them for having friends like that. Believe me, you will want to see those posts. It’s just… the random shots of serotonin and dopamine out generation needs really fucking desperately 100% of the time.

That’s it with the list! Eleven creators I absolutely adore, and I’m sorry I was babbling so much all the way through, but… Well, actually I’m not sorry. And actually, half of the reason I even made this post is to tell them how much I love them and fangirl about them a bit. So… Yeah. Well.I love you guys and hope you’ll have a wonderful day! And to everyone else reading this: I hope this helped you ind some new creators you can enjoy. And a good day to you too, of cause.

Sincerely, Joy 🖤

(@joylessnightsky/@sanders-sides-fic)

#I hope it's okay to you I just went ahead and did this #if you don't feel comfortable with this or anything written in here feel free to let me know #also no I didn't check the spelling #I'm too tired to do that anyways #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #recommendations #list

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jisungyah · 3 years

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Dream State - 22 : HoOoNG~

“That was unessarily loud” Hyunjin stated, hands clasped to his ears looking up at Wooyoung from his seat on the floor.

Wooyoung saw San gulp, eyes still staring back at him. He didn't look back to Yeosang who he heard taking a sip of his drink a little too loudly.

Hyunjin's hands left his ears, now supporting him up instead as he stared at Wooyoung, his mouth agape waiting for some explanation.

Stupid, Wooyoung was stupid, he was embarrassed and felt guilty because he got caught. A palm raises to cover his face he couldn't believe he thought he could get away with some stupid plan.. it wasn't even a thought out one, he just wanted to avoid San.. he didn't even know why? only the reasons he made up for Hongjoong and Yeosang.

"I'm Wooyoung.." he let out a sigh before continuing "..the same Wooyoung from the Haechan Neck account, I didn't want to tell you at first cause it's embarrassing honestly.. being known as ‘the flirt’ online would ruin our first impressions..but lying about it is probably worse but, I just panicked.."

Wooyoung had been keeping eye contact with San through the whole confession, practically pleading San to forgive him with his glassy eyes.

"it's okay I get it.. to be honest, I kinda knew you were Wooyoung um.. I was just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to say it I guess..", the eye contact was broken for a few seconds as San tried to consider his next words, once connected again Wooyoung's eyes were starting to fill with more tears, "Really it's fine! we all have an online facade.. right?" San nods to himself and turns to the two others for a little help.

Yeosang was kinda thrown off by this reaction from San so he kept quiet while Hyunjin reassured "RIGHT! if you're hyuck's neck maybe we could be moots! you wouldn't happen to know King Xiaojun... "

Wooyoung was not expecting the conversation to turn to Hyunjin admitting he was an 18+ RP account. As Hyunjin rambled about his account being worse in ways they couldn't imagine, far worse than just flirting as a parody account, Yeosang nudged Woo as to say 'I told you so'.

"you know since we're all friends and this has kinda cleared things up.." Yeosang started.

"Okay but I'm seriously really sorry, that was stupid and I don't wanna blame alcohol but I get more obnoxious when I'm tipsy.. and I was even panicking before so-"

Yeosang rested his hand on Woo's shoulder to calm him from babbling further.

"tsk Wooyoung obnoxious?" Hyunjin let out, laughing to himself while taking a sip of beer, when he finished he realised the others hadn't reacted. Maybe the alcohol was getting to him already. "woah. Wait ! that sounded offensive.. I meant like you're really not obnoxious if we're talking 'obnoxious'? we're talking Minho"

"So we're all good? Wooyoung you don't have to keep apologising, stop worrying about it" Yeosang reassured, hand now wrapped around Wooyoung's shoulders. San giggled at Woo's little pout and if Wooyoung's heart wasn't fluttering already it was racing now. "May I ask ..? did you do the same to Yeosang?"

"Well.. no Hongjoong got to him first"

"SO YOU WERE GONNA..?"

"No !Yeosang !" "Bitch I know what you look like!" "BITCH?! I didn't even know you could use that word!"

"Oh.." San seemed to be a little disappointed but no one seemed to notice, Woosang busy teasing each other while Hyunjin laughed at their banter.

"But wait, how'd you know I was Wooyoung? I mean like Haechan's Neck.." Wooyoung inquired turning back to San, sitting up fixing himself after sending Yeosang into a laughing fit with tickles.

"I recognised you from a photo you sent in the group chat"

"w-what?! which pic?"

"When you announced that you went back to your natural hair..? It was only half your face but.."

"I-"

"Idiot, you sent it to both group chats" Yeosang finished Wooyoung's sentence beginning another set of laughter for himself. Wooyoung gave a glare as a first warning, then raised his hands to his friend's waist threatening Yeosang with more tickles which got him to shut up immediately.

"But I was really doubting myself.. added up though. You and Yeosang, Seoul Uni.. but.. didn't you say to Min you weren't coming to the party?"

"We forgot about Min!" Yeosang exclaimed.

Thanks to San's question Wooyoung was reminded to check his phone, silently asking the group with his pointer finger up to excuse him for a moment as he scrolled through the 'PARTY' group chat’s messages. The others quietly waiting for some update on their mutual friend.

"He seems pretty content with Taeil"

Yeosang gave him a stern almost threatening look, "Twice, you said you'd be there for Min"

"Fine.. what do you want me to say?"

Woosang seemed to have a private conversation to themselves before Wooyoung was focused on his phone and Yeosang turned to question San, "Wait, Min said you weren't replying to him? and you haven't been active on the group chat"

Wooyoung whispered something being Yeosang's pick-up line, Yeosang ignoring him keeping his eyes on San like he was in trouble.

"I was busy being lost.. and classes and when I wasn't in class Seonghwa kept me busy" a gulp preceding San's answer.

San seemed to retreat a little to himself, head down unable to make eye contact with Yeosang which caused the latter to feel guilty.

"Sorry, of course you were.."

"To be fair we both were busy with each other too" Wooyoung said to ease the atmosphere, finally putting his phone back in his jacket's pocket.

"Well that's cause you wer-" Wooyoung knew Yeosang was going to make fun of his panic about San and the party, swiftly interrupting with another apology.

"Sorry I- .. We-we're all over the place but I just didn't want Mingi to feel alone or left out, so I um pretended I was busy with an assignment than coming to the party so he could text if he felt lonely.." Wooyoung explained.

"Oh .. that's actually really nice of you..."

Wooyoung didn't mean for anyone to feel guilty but that's how San felt now, knowing he was doing what he didn't want anyone to do to him to one of his best friends.

"I mean Wooyoung doesn't seem like the one.." "Wooyoung is just that nice" "-the kind to lie out of malice! he even taught me that phrase"

Hyunjin and Yeosang accidentally talked over each other but Hyunjin continued anyway, starting to become less aware of his surroundings. He was swaying side to side to the faint music, eyes closed barely open when he responded to the others.

They kept the conversation going, allowing some time for Woo to reply to Mingi and trying to distract Hyunjin from drinking any more. Soon their hyungs gathered with them, Hongjoong tried to slip away for Wooyoung's sake but Woo caught him, it wouldn't hurt they'd be leaving soon anyway.

Although Hongjoong couldn't even introduce himself before San announced that they should get going, saying it was getting late for a school night and Seonghwa wasn't in the best state either. Hongjoong seemed to match Hwa, their few more drinks than what they planned beginning to show some effect on them.

They exchanged goodbyes before introductions could take place, San and Minho helping Seonghwa stand straight, his arms around their shoulders, getting hold of him before he could flop down on top of the boys on the couch.

"Hhhow much longer you guys stayed? we-we we can have fun by ourselves"

Minho noticed Hyunjin's state which was.. pretty drunk for Hyunjin, he left San with Seonghwa while he tried to pull Hyunjin away to leave with them. Wooyoung didn't notice San already leaving with Seonghwa, preoccupied with a whining Hyunjin trying to get away from Minho's arms.

"I'll help you out with Hyunjin if Yeosang is alright enough to get Hongjoong" Wooyoung offered.

"awwhhhh Wooyoung-ah don'tlet-let- don't be such a killjoy cause of Minho!" Hyunjin grumbled escaping from Minho, only to stumble into Wooyoung's arms, face pressed to his classmate's chest causing him to giggle.

"Seriously Hyunjin, how's Kami gonna react seeing you like this?" Minho sighed finally trapping him.

"Ff*ck.. I forgot"

"You're not sleeping over, I'm surprised you didn't get a curfew"

Hyunjin stopped squirming, trying to get himself together when he remembered he'd be returning to his parents in his drunk state.

With the help of Minho and Wooyoung, he made his way down the stairs safely with Yeosang and Hongjoong following behind them, conversing about nonsense until they reached the bottom.

By the time they got down, Seonghwa was free from San's grip trying to make himself comfortable on the side of Minho's car, even after San offered his shoulder as they waited for their driver.

Minho took care of Hyunjin the rest of the way to his car, a few more waves goodbye before the 'Just gotta TOUCH' boys were all seated in the car.

San now in the passenger seat, Minho still the driver ready to take the boys home safely. The other two boys sharing the back seats, leaning on each other still somewhat awake but on the verge of sleep. Hyunjin trying to sober up before being dropped home to his parents but the alcohol in his system tempting him to a short nap. Seonghwa was out of it only half awake because he had some thoughts to discuss with the boys.

The trio left behind began their walk together after seeing Minho drive off. Wooyoung taking over Hongjoong duty knowing Yeosang's stop was only a five-minute walk away, although with their current pace the time could be doubled.

Wooyoung didn't know whether it was Yeosang slowing down in consideration for Hongjoongs drunken state or because he also wanted to enjoy more time together, even if they technically weren't alone. He appreciated it though, the dark night allowing stars to glow through even when the city lights fought against their shine. Setting the mood..

The odd car passing by allowing a flash of light to hit Yeosang, who was shielding the light from the slowpokes.

The short distance they travelled so far was mostly filled with silence and a few grunts from Wooyoung struggling to keep Hongjoong up because he was distracted by Yeosang.

The few street lights they walked by flattered Yeosang's features with its warm rays, catching him in the process of thought.

Wooyoung was getting used to Joong's weight over his left shoulder. Yeosang suddenly turning back after taking in the stars, causing Wooyoung to trip on his step.

Yeosang meeting Wooyoung's admiring eyes as he looks back to check on the two. "You know you don't have to walk me back, maybe I should be helping you get Hongjoong back to yours"

"No we're getting-" "No no we'll get you back safe first!" Hongjoong speaks up, whispering a sorry for interrupting Wooyoung. "We're getting you safely back to your dorm, we can just take the bus from your place to ours. I can handle Joong"

Yeosang seemed to take their answer but then a smirk played on his lips before mentioning, mostly to Honjoong, that San was still looking for accommodation.

"Yeah I know Yeo.. I was in that conversation with you" Wooyoung tried to dismiss it.

"Yeo?" Both older males asked at the new nickname.

"What? you both call me Woo?? its just a nickname"

"huh, I like it.." Yeosang blushed on top of the residual tint of the alcohol in his system. He never really had nicknames from friends mostly just family but he was called "sangie" or "sang" and although Wooyoung had texted him the nickname before, it felt different hearing it out loud.

"Does that make me Hong?"

Wooyoung giggles at his Hyung still under the haze of alcohol, eyelids half open and sporting a small pout.

"hehe yeah, that makes you Hoooonnngg~" Messing with the pronunciation of the new nickname earning a disgusted judgemental look from the now called Hong. [like how he said in the one ep of ateez salary lupin]

"Soooo San..??" Yeosang starts up again after a few giggles from the '99 liners at Hongjoong's reaction. The trio now continuing their journey after their short pause.

"We said we'd do interviews sooo.." Wooyoung hoped his mention of their plan would prevent Hongjoong from thinking about just giving San the spare room.

"San..? but Seonghwa said-oh wait yeah we can get San an interview! he seems nice I mean we just goddamake sure he leaves the nsfw stuff on Twitter"

"pffft-" "JOONG!"

"I thought it was Hong!?" Yeosang blurts while laughing

San content staring out the window watching the street lights go by but he notices Seonghwa from the rearview mirror pouting. A small smile on his lips with his tongue peeking out trying to take a quick picture while the older had his eyes closed from drink and tiredness.

"Y'all didn't get to meet Hongjoong" he whined a little like a disappointed child when he saw San facing him. San is quick to take the picture and drop his phone but not quick enough to turn around before Seonghwa's eyes are fully open.

"Sorry Hwa-hyung, but I'm tired and you didn't seem to be handling the alcohol well" San spoke with a faint but reassuring smile before turning back to sit in his seat properly.

"San was the only one to not meet Hongjoong, and me and Hyunjin were literally right there" Minho added, trying to make Hwa less frowny-faced.

"Correction, Hyujin and I."

"Oh just shut it Jin and focus on sobering up before we get to your place, your lucky enough I'm giving you extra time heading to Seonghwa's first"

Hyujin is now sat straight, rolling his eyes at the driver sat in front of him. "Oh San! did you know Joong and Woo have space? maybe they can take you in" Hyunjin suggested while brushing his hand through his hair gathering himself together, it would only last a bit longer before he’s feeling woozy again.

"They do? but .. I don't know I-I don't wanna be taken in like a-a a stray cat.."

"I mean you're not far from one" Minho commented flashing San a smile before quickly turning attention back to the road. San was always compared to a cat sometimes even to his own cat by Mingi and his parents. He didn't know whether it was because of his physical features or personality, maybe even both? But he was surprised and flattered that Minho noticed since he had three cats of his own.

"I-I didn't mean for it to sound like that! what is wrong with me today ahhhggghh"

"you're literally always like this?" Minho replies when he spots Hyunjin throwing his head into his hands in an exasperated manner.

Seonghwa was mumbling something about Mingi and Yeosang in the last few minutes of their drive. He didn’t form enough coherent words for the others to make sense of it.

They finally reached the house. San was glad that Seonghwa’s aunt was already asleep but kept the door open for them. Somehow San manages to help Seonghwa into bed and takes off his make up, not bothering to try changing him into PJs. He also ends up charging Hwa’s phone and setting an alarm for him before he takes care of himself.

San plops himself on the bottom bunk of Seonghwa’s older cousin’s bunk bed staying in the room across from Seonghwa, for now at least. Bringing the nearest plushie to his chest to cuddle that night San also picks up his phone to check up on the others.

Pan ic :

Well the jig is up! don’t know how far pretending to be jongho wouldve gone anyway..

also didn’t Hong say something about not drinking too much earlier and he’s going home like that?? i think seongjoong bad influence on each other but wooo ooo WooSang going strong ... for now

pt.21 < Masterlist > pt.22.5

[ Social Media Woosan AU:

Having finished his first year of college, Wooyoung spends his summer with friends.. online friends mostly., friends made through his Lee Donghyuck parody acc..

Will he be ready to spend his second year with these crackheads ? and what if his twt crush starts attending his university ? ]

A/N if the hyung isnt always accurate its because they are close friends and dont say it often.. also its been awhile .... college was hard second semester soo i didn’t get a chance until recently sooo sorry its very late

#DREAM STATE #woosan #woosan au #atiny #ateez #ateez social media au #ateez au #NCT #nctzen #nct au #nct social media au #social media au #skz #skz au #skz social media au #markhyuck

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seokstrivia · 5 years

Text

Euphoria | jjk

❥ Summary; There was always a sign on Jungkooks’ door that said something along the lines of, ‘Warning; I am naked in here. Do not enter unless you're ready to see a whole lot of dick.’

or, that one roommate au where Jungkook is a cocky bastard.

❥ Roommate!AU | M.list | word count; 7.6k

❥ Jeon Jungkook x Reader; angst, douche Jungkook, enemies to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, slow burn, smut, he’s actually a softie

» He, him, his «

Jungkook was, how you say, a dick. A dick you despised and wanted unquestionably nothing to do with. And yes, you did always hate him, without reason, but hated from the beginning nonetheless.

It all began when you moved into the accommodation for college, your mom helped you unpack then kissed you goodbye, and everything was fine— for five minutes.

Dickwad, also known as, Dickhead and maybe sometimes, douchebag, sauntered into the flat with music blaring out of his, lovely friends’, speaker.

Lovely friend, aka Park Jimin, is, and always will be, an absolute darling you doted on without fail.

Anyways, when Jungkook stepped into the flat as if he owned the damn place, the first thing he did was throw a wink your way and then proceed to claim his bedroom— the very bedroom you claimed first.

Obviously, it was an absolutely ridiculous point to bicker over, but you’d lost it as soon as he called you babe, followed by a prissy princess, to end his absurd argument.

You were absolutely fuming by this point, and the heavy music resonating throughout the flat gave you the biggest headache you’d ever experienced in all the years you’d been alive.

That was when you wordlessly declared your hatred for him. When you decided you were going to make his life a living hell, and when you decided you were going to store lego in his room— just so he could undergo the pain you had to go through.

It wasn’t even good music.

Ever since then, you’ve never liked Jungkook, never wanted anything to do with him and cursed him in your dreams every night— which didn’t seem to work, you definitely needed to purchase a voodoo doll.

» His Friday night «

A yawn parted your lips as you zoned in and out, you were currently attempting to do your homework, but Jungkook— the devils incarnate— was being as loud and intolerable as usual.

He had been on the phone to one of his friends, talking about a party he absolutely had to go to. But it wasn’t unusual, Jungkook made it his priority to go out partying every Friday night, more so, to end up in someone's bed.

The thought itself had you shaking your head in distaste— like a mother disapproving her sons' grades or overall behaviour.

It had a sigh leaving your lips.

Jungkook stepped out of his room in all black: black jeans, black t-shirt, black leather jacket, and to finish off the look, a black cap.

You would be lying if you said he didn’t look good, but that was something that would never leave your lips. He didn’t deserve to know. You cursed yourself for even thinking it.

“I take it you’ll be stuck inside studying like the nerd you are,” Jungkook snorted.

There was a horrible, eye-wrenching smirk on his awful face. Who did this thing think he was?

“At least I’m not sleeping around and giving people aids.”

He jeered in return, a scowl on his face while he pierced into your soul, and presumably, set it alight.

God, you were infuriating.

Jungkook left that night without another word, he didn’t have time to sit and argue with you— which you were extremely thankful for because you were far too stressed to even think about him.

Another sigh broke your lips as your focus fell back on to your textbook. You were failing one of your classes— a class you needed to pass in order to complete the year, however, you didn’t understand anything your lecture taught you.

And what annoyed you, even more, was that Jeon Jungkook, who didn’t attend any of the classes, was passing with flying colours. If anything, your nightly curses were probably backfiring on to you.

You groaned. Life was not being fair. Not at all.

» His banana milk «

Jungkook was annoyed, more than that, he was angry and about to throw the biggest fit at the age of 21.

Yes, it’d really come to this.

His banana milk was missing, no matter how many times he checked the fridge, it wasn’t there. He bought that with his own money.

You stepped out of your bedroom, a chewed up straw perched in your mouth as you continued to scroll through your phone.

All the studying made you feel a bit peckish.

But you couldn’t exactly reach the fridge, or even step into the kitchen, since Jungkook was blocking the way with his oversized muscles.

He took the straw out of your mouth, thoroughly examining it before glaring into your eyes with his fiery red ones— yes, they were actually red. It’s not an exaggeration.

“Can I help you?” You asked in a monotone.

He grumbled under his breath, tossing the straw aside and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Did you drink all of my banana milk?”

Jungkook was never angry, he was bothersome and got annoyed but never angry. Or you just hadn’t experienced his wrath until now.

“Who gave you permission to touch what’s mine?” He continued, his voice getting deeper.

“Why are you getting so worked up over banana milk?”

“Because!” He shouted making you flinch. “Banana milk is the only thing I look forward to every single day. Don’t touch what’s yours.”

Your eyes were wide in shock, he wasn’t the most intimidating guy— not with his bunny smile, but after seeing his true form of red eyes and devil horns, you decided never to touch his banana milk again.

You even bought you a new pack the next day.

» His mess «

There were empty cans everywhere you looked, empty packets of snacks, dirty dishes, as well as, unwashed laundry, and it all belonged to the one and only Jeon Jungkook.

The amount of mess he made was actually insane, there was no one in this world who was as messy or messier than him. It inflicted you with endless headaches and made you feel sick, how could someone live like this?

A lengthy sigh left your lips, it had been a long day at uni, plus you still weren’t passing your failing class, so all in all, it wasn’t going well. And to make matters worse, the flat was a mess.

Thanks, dickhead. I hope you choke on your banana milk, you grumbled.

If there was another place to stay, somewhere you could move to, or someone else you could live with, you would move out in a heartbeat— without so much as a second thought.

But no, luck wasn’t on your side like that.

“You know when you invited me over, I didn’t think it was to help you tidy up,” sassed Jinyoung.

You rolled your eyes at his comment before throwing a dirty sock in his direction. He was utterly appalled and deeply insulted that you’d done that, but you were too busy laughing at him to care.

Jinyoung was your best friend, you’d known him since the beginning of high school, he’d always been there for you, you knew everything about it him, and he knew everything about you— including your satanic shrine set-up to get rid of Jungkook.

He was about to retaliate and launch Jungkooks boxers at you when the front door swung open. Both of you watched Jungkook throw his bag aside before strolling into his room, he didn’t even notice you were there.

“I mean, my couch is always free.”

You snorted at Jinyoungs effort to make you feel better, “you’re so annoying.”

There was a smug expression on your best friends face, his remark successfully annoyed you and he felt great— even though, he truly meant what he said.

You were always more than welcome to stay with him, and you knew that.

Jinyoung helped you tidy up, leaving the pile of unwashed laundry to decay in front of Jungkooks’ door. He would step over them and ignore they were there, you’d seen him do it before, but there was no way in hell you’d do laundry for him.

Cleaning up empty cans and packets was enough.

“Next time, we should dump all the trash on his bed,” Jinyoung remarked before making himself comfortable on your bed.

A laugh split your lips as you handed him his ice cream, “he would either sleep with it or let it rot on the floor.”

“Have you ever been inside his room?”

“No.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Not really...”

Jinyoung hummed in response, now focused on his ice cream instead. He didn’t question you further, because maybe he knew you were just a little, tiny bit, curious to see how it looked.

After minutes of silence and simply appreciating your ice creams, the both of you lay on your bed, doing nothing except staring at the ceiling, saying nothing besides listening to each other’s breathing.

It was peaceful, the nice kind of peace that wasn’t heavy or boring. These kinds of moments with Jinyoung were your favourite, the kind where you could bask in each other’s company without having to say a single word.

You rolled over to face your best friend, his eyes were fixed on the ceiling fan, following the way it twirled endlessly. He was a handsome boy, he was a sassy boy, and he was also a very kind boy, but he was single.

And you sometimes spent hours thinking about why.

“Jinyoung, will you ever get into a relationship?” You asked with sheer curiosity.

His eyebrows furrowed together and the expression of distaste won over his content features, it was quite amusing to watch if you were honest.

He always made the funniest faces without meaning to be funny.

“Does it look like I want to waste my precious time trying to please another human when the only one I need to please is myself?”

Jinyoung could’ve ranted for hours, he could have gone on and on and on about how he doesn’t need anyone. Which is why you changed the subject and spoke about how heavy Yugyeom snored throughout the last lecture.

It had the two of you laughing aloud, bringing tears to the eyes as you both proceeded to simultaneously list the funniest things that have happened.

Being with Jinyoung was better than a lot of things.

“Oh my gosh, did I tell you when Jungkook got angry at me for drinking all his banana milk?” You wheezed.

Jinyoung snorted and burst out laughing, shocked at your roommates' behaviour over milk— and it being banana flavoured.

“Why don’t you threaten to drink all his milk if he doesn’t clean up after himself?”

You quirked an eyebrow at his suggestion, that didn’t seem like a bad idea at all, you thought to yourself. After spending hours on end with Jinyoung, you finally said goodbye to him after telling him to text you when he got home.

Jungkook stepped out of his room when he heard the last goodbye, faltering over the pile of dirty clothes in front of his door, he complained to himself while continuing towards the fridge.

Banana milk!

Silently, with an evil grin on your lips, you trailed behind him, “Jungkook,” you called making him flinch over how close and loud you were. “You gotta start cleaning up after yourself. You’re disgusting.”

He sneered, piercing the carton with his straw, “and if I don’t?”

“If you don’t, I’ll drink all your banana milk.”

There was genuine panic in Jungkooks eyes that night.

» His hoodies «

A yawn broke your lips, eyes drooping at the sound of your lecturers' boring voice. She seemed to go on and on and on about who knows what?

This was the class you were failing, there was no time for you to be falling asleep, but you couldn’t help it, she was so dull and it was hard to concentrate.

Jinyoung who was seated next to you was too busy throwing paper balls at a fast asleep Yugyeom, he didn’t care about this class either, but he was failing like you.

You huffed to yourself, resting your chin on your hand which was hidden under your sleeve. Well, it wasn’t your sleeve per se, it wasn’t your hoodie to begin with.

It was Jungkooks’. His loss though, right?

Okay, so maybe, just maybe, you stole it, but he hadn’t noticed yet, it’d been three days and he hadn’t even asked if you’d seen it anywhere.

Therefore, no harm is done.

“I gotta ask again,” Jinyoung whispered while rolling another paper ball. “Why did you steal his hoodie if you want absolutely nothing to do with him?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you retaliated in a loud enough whisper.

Jinyoung snorted, throwing another ball at his friend.

What you didn’t notice, and your best friend did, was the way Jungkook had been staring at you, attempting to figure out where he’d seen the hoodie you were wearing.

Good thing he wasn’t that smart, Jinyoung shook his head before focusing on packing his things and leaving the lecture hall with you in tow.

➴➶➴➶

You were humming a tune to yourself in the kitchen while preparing a sandwich, something light to munch on while you studied— or at least tried to.

Jungkook came behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see what you were doing before ‘accidentally’ knocking your elbow.

“Oh! Sorry,” he exaggerated when he heard you gasp. “I didn’t see you there.”

A scowl crossed your features when the words left his lips, he was so, so, so, irritating. You hated him, you hated him, you really really hated him.

“You did that on purpose,” it was a swift argument back. “You’re such a dick.”

Jungkook snorted, standing tall with his eyes piercing down into yours, “always bringing my dick into any situation you can, aren’t you?” He tsk’d. “I’m not the one going around steal other people’s belongings.”

“What—“

“First my banana milk and now my clothes. What next, hm? I bet you would’ve stolen my virginity too if I was still a virgin.”

God, he was so infuriating.

“As if I would ever have sex with you.”

Jungkook leant in, bringing his face level to yours, his lips merely inches away, eyes staring darkly into yours and his warm breath melting into your skin.

He was so close. Too close.

“Liars go to hell, princess.”

You gulped. There was a definite glint you’d never seen in his eyes before— in anyone’s eyes. It wasn’t scary but it made you feel something you’d not felt in a long time.

Arousal.

“I’ll let you keep this hoodie since it looks good on you,” he spoke up again, but his voice was still low and very deep. “However, if I notice you take something else, I won’t let you off so easily.”

He left you with an unfamiliar and wet warmth that night.

» His revenge «

A loud groan parted your lips, the thought of studying for another hour was hurting your head. Three hours had to be enough, for now, right?

You turned to glance at your alarm clock which sat on your bedside table, next to your phone that had been buzzing constantly for the past half an hour. Jinyoung.

It was 8:33pm. A good time as any for a snack.

After stretching your very rigid muscles, you bounced off your chair and happily made way to the kitchen. Jungkook was in his room, probably wanking off or something, so he couldn’t bother you right now.

Not even the horrible weather could put you in a bad mood.

However, however, however, you couldn’t find your snacks anywhere. They were normally kept in a box on the bottom shelf in an empty cupboard, but that box, which was on the bottom shelf, was empty.

There was nothing inside it, and there definitely should’ve been because you bought so many new snacks the night before.

Honestly, you could’ve cried. Feeling irritation, anger, as well as, sadness, you stormed towards Jungkooks room and pounded on the door, ignoring the warning sign taped on the wood.

“Jungkook!” You whined. “I never touched your banana milk again, why did you steal all my snacks?! How could you?”

There was a genuine sad pout on your face when he swung the door open, he would’ve felt bad if it were someone else, but it was you, and you hated him, so why should he feel any sympathy towards you?

“You can always buy more tomorrow,” he told you.

“I can’t afford to,” you fought, not with anger, but sadness. “Those snacks were supposed to last me two weeks, you ate them all in one night.”

Jungkook shrugged.

“It’s just a bit selfish, isn’t it?”

You’d mumbled it quietly, not really wanting him to hear, but he’d heard and he tried so hard not to feel guilty.

After stammering an apology for bothering him, you gradually progressed towards your room, leaving Jungkook to think about what he’d done.

» His punishment «

You were extremely annoying, continually having something to say back to him, always bickering with him, and calling him names, but never, not once, did you ignore him.

Over the months of living together, he figured out you hated him, but you didn’t pretend he didn’t exist, you didn’t ignore his presence, no. You bothered him and cursed him out and made sure his life was living hell.

Of course, Jungkook was extremely annoyed at you for being so irritating, but he enjoyed the bickering. Albeit he’d never tell you.

He groaned at another failed attempt at getting your attention. You were sitting on the floor trying to do your homework, head resting on the coffee table, doing your utmost best to ignore the monster behind you.

Jungkook genuinely wanted you to bicker back with him, although he didn’t really know why he wanted your attention, he just knew he wanted something.

“Y/n,” he whined, foot nudging your thigh closest to him. “Please argue back with me.”

Ignoring him was harder than you thought, you were so used to instantaneously throwing an insult back that you had to mentally tape your mouth shut.

Jungkook gave up that night, it was no use. He was basically talking to a brick wall. Leaving you study by yourself, he left with an exhalation.

You watched him with a triumphant smile, but you felt as though you missed out on something.

» His turn «

It was raining, but you couldn’t hear the pitter patter like you normally could. There was a movie playing on your computer, but you couldn’t hear the dialogue like you should’ve been able to.

All because of Jeon Jungkook and his stupid loud, extremely bad music.

A groan withdrew from your lips (which you couldn’t even hear) as you let yourself drop back into your pillows. If you weren’t still ignoring him or at least trying to, you would’ve body-slammed him out of the window.

You must’ve done something awful in your past life if you were being forced to live like this now, you uttered to yourself as you stormed towards his room.

Jungkook was overdue a long list of insults.

There was no point in banging on his door since he wouldn’t be able to hear you, you couldn’t even hear yourself breathe. So, for the first time since living with him, you barged in.

Wrong move...

He was in nothing but his boxers, sure he wasn’t naked, but he wasn’t exactly fully clothed either.

The sight in front of you, however, wasn’t a disturbing one. The way his back was propped on his headboard, the way his eyes focused on his comic book, the way his head bopped to the song, it was all notably attractive... for some reason.

Jungkook glanced up and saw you staring at him in shock, a smirk would’ve propelled its way to his lips, but he was annoyed that you’d been ignoring him, more so, that you barged into his room without knocking— he would never do that to you.

Turning down the volume, he sat up, “can I help you?”

You swallowed at the hoarse sound of his voice, what was going on with you right now? Why was he suddenly so attractive? Wait, was he always this good-looking?

“Your music is too loud,” you mumbled.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and paused the song before getting off his bed, and advancing towards you with a glare on his face.

He stared down at you, arms crossed, “it’s off, you happy now?”

You nodded your head, eyes gazing intensely into his. If he wasn’t so bothersome, if he didn’t aggravate you and if you didn’t despise him. You were 100% certain you would’ve fallen in love with him.

Jungkook snorted at the expression on your face, his features softening as he tousled your hair before gently closing the door.

There was a funny feeling in your chest when you went to sleep that night, followed by a funny feeling in your chest when you woke the next morning.

There was a basket of snacks perched neatly in front of your door, a note hidden beneath a box of chocolates, Jungkook was seriously out for your heart.

» 2 drunks, 1 mistake «

It wasn’t unlike you to give up studying, but it was unlike you to say yes to a party Jinyoung wanted to go to with you. He was surprised you’d given in so easily, but, over the moon, he didn’t need to beg you.

“Are you planning on getting wasted?” Jinyoung snorted as he observed you tan another drink.

He raised an eyebrow, watching you shake your head in distaste to the strong taste. Alcohol wasn’t your favourite, but it did its bit to encourage you to have fun.

You gradually began to let yourself go as the drink within you gave you a step of confidence. Jinyoung watched you dance in amusement, plastic red cup in one hand while his other held his phone, recording you at that moment.

A smile presented a way to your lips when you twisted around and spotted his phone. The flash gave away the fact he was recording, maybe on snapchat to post on his story, maybe something to laugh about the next day; whatever it was, you didn’t care.

“Jinyoung, dance with me,” you urged, motioning for him to join you with your hand.

He shook his head, not because he didn’t want to dance, but because he wasn’t drunk enough to deal with you right now. However, he was enjoying the sight of you completely losing yourself and finally, after a long time, giving in to have fun.

Jungkook was on the other side of the room, drunk himself, seeing you have fun without him. It didn’t take long for him to muster up the courage to approach you, not when the alcohol was giving him a helping hand.

“Y/n,” he cheered, gaining your attention. “Let’s dance!”

Without so much as a second thought, you began dancing with him. Eyes wavy and mind hazy, the night went on with Jungkook by your side.

It wasn’t until your back hit the cold wall, you felt Jungkooks’ warm hands wander your body. His lips were on your neck, wet and slick, your hands were pulling his hair, urging him to go faster, to hurry up and stop teasing you.

“Jungkook,” you moaned earning a growl in return.

He stopped his ministrations on your neck, and led you towards his room, pushing you to lay on the bed while he stripped out of his t-shirt, threw his jeans aside and then crawled towards you.

Jungkook kissed you slowly but intoxicatingly, his hand moved down your form and glid under your dress, exploring and touching everywhere except where you needed him to touch you.

“Jungkook,” you muttered against his lips. “Please stop teasing me.”

His eyes were dark and glazed as he stared into yours with so much lust, want and need. An exhalation escaped your lips when he connected his lips back to your neck, hand slipping into your pants, taunting your clit.

You heaved at the ministration, writhing beneath him, silently asking for more. For anything, for something. He removed his hand, pulling your dress up along with his hand that progressed towards the back, reaching for the zip.

“Take it off,” he whispered in your ear in a low growl. “Let me see you.”

Your breathing got heavier as you watched him sit up, allowing you to move and take off your uncomfortable dress. Just like that, in slow and precise movements, the dress slipped off and hit the floor.

The alcohol from earlier was still evidently in your system, otherwise, you would have never crawled towards Jungkook and drawn him for an intoxicating and needy kiss.

Jungkook pushed you to lie down again, so he was on top, so he could assert dominance and let you know that he was in charge and always will be.

It didn’t bother you, not when he knew what he was doing; when he was so confident in the way his hand wandered down your body, towards your heat.

Another moan parted your lips, music to Jungkooks ear. He decided there and then, after hearing you call out his name breathlessly into the night, that it would be his favourite sound.

“I bet you thought you about me every night,” he muttered in a deep, drunken, voice.

You could only nod your head, afraid that your words would get stuck in your throat due to the pleasure he was causing you.

There was no uncertainty in Jungkooks’ movements when he slipped a finger and then another into your heat, he revelled in your moans and whines, urging you to get louder the faster he pumped his digits in and out.

His free hand played with your breast, his lips nipping the skin, forcing you to squirm under his ministrations, it felt so good— amazing even, but you wanted more, needed more.

“Jungkook,” you gasped out, pulling at his hair to gain his attention. “Please, just fuck me already.”

There was a smirk on his face, a glint in his eyes as if he’d been anticipating for you to say those words. As much as he loved teasing you to no extent, he needed to feel you, to be inside you just the way he dreamt about.

He didn’t hesitate to pull off his boxers, to yank your pants down your legs, to line himself off and without a single warning, push himself deep inside.

Jungkook left you feeling breathless that night, he had you coming undone more than once and he left you feeling fully satisfied as he came deep inside.

No other words were exchanged when he drew you into his chest and lulled you to sleep with beating heart and warm body.

» The aftermath «

The next morning you woke up sweating, you had a sore head and felt sick to your stomach, forcing yourself out of bed and rushing to the closest bathroom. You heaved but nothing came out as your head hung in the toilet and your naked form sat on the cold tiled floor.

The night before was all a haze, and trying to remember what happened while sitting next to the toilet wasn’t a good idea. However, it all hit you when you stepped out of the bathroom; into the room that wasn’t yours.

You felt yourself break into a cold sweat, your eyes scanning the room before settling on a familiar face— another body just as naked as yours.

The sick feeling hurried back, but it wasn’t because of the alcohol, no, this time it was regret and the fear of allowing yourself to become another girl on Jungkooks list.

What had you done?

➴➶➴➶

Jungkook went on as if everything was normal; as if nothing had happened. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, not when you were sinking in newly developed feelings for the male who didn’t believe in commitment.

An agitated sigh parted your lips, you couldn’t sleep, not when the drunken night with Jungkook played on loop whenever you closed your eyes. Fortunately, Jinyoung was nice enough to let you stay the night at his, but you couldn’t stay here forever.

“Are you ever going to speak to him about this?” Jinyoung inquired, examining the dark circles under your eyes from no sleep.

There was a frown on your face when you turned to look at your best friend, “how can I?” You disputed. “He’s acting as if nothing happened, Jinyoung. You don’t understand, Jungkook doesn’t do relationships.”

“Ignore him then.”

A scoff left your lips, that was easier said than done you thought.

“I can’t,” you told him, eyes cast aside.

“Then confess.”

This time you met his intense and challenging gaze, “just because I know that Jungkook likes to drink banana milk after uni, or that he likes to eat cereal at 3am after gaming because he feels peckish, doesn’t mean I like him,” you were out of breath, heart racing as you spoke.

Jinyoung snickered in return. You gulped.

» The regret «

It was pouring while you waited for your roommate to get home. After speaking to Jinyoung, you decided he was right and you couldn’t keep pretending that you were okay.

The front door slammed shut, interrupting you from your thoughts. Jungkook kicked off his shoes and threw his soaked jacket aside. His hair was wet, and there was a frown on his face, but he looked as cute as ever.

He didn’t notice you were back home, not until you stood up and muttered his name. His eyes widened at the sight before him, you’d left without a single word and came back three days later as if it was a reasonable thing to do.

“Where have you been?” He demanded.

Jungkook was angry.

“I stayed over at Jinyoungs.”

He shook his head in disapproval before running a hand through his dripping hair. The feeling still lingered in your own hand from that night as you watched his movements.

“And you didn’t bother to tell me because?”

You licked your lips, eyes meeting his dark ones, “I’ve never had to tell you before,” you fought. “Why does it matter now?”

“You’ve never been gone for three days.”

His tone was getting louder, angrier and more irritated. But you were becoming angry too; who did he think was? Especially acting as if nothing had happened between you two.

“You’re not my boyfriend, Jungkook. I don’t need to tell you anything, it’s not like I expect you to tell me when you’ll be home after a night out,” you said, eyes gazing intensely into his. “Now let me ask you something, is it fun to act like everything between us is normal? You know very well why I disappeared for days.”

Jungkook scoffed, arms crossed over his broad chest as if asserting dominance, “we had sex, so what? Everyone has drunk sex now and then.”

“I’m not everyone, you asshole!” You shouted. “I don’t go around having sex with every girl and guy I see. You’re the second person I’ve ever had sex with, I know it’s not a big deal to you but, it means a whole lot to me.”

Jungkook licked his lips.

“You wanted to have sex with me just as much as I did with you. Don’t blame all this on me.”

“I’m not! Don’t you get it? I’m in love with you!”

It came out before you could think twice about saying it, the words slipped out in anger, you really didn’t mean to say it. But now that it was out in the open, there was no point in taking it back, so you waited; waited for Jungkook to speak.

Instead, however, he uncrossed his arms and cast his eyes aside. Your heart dropped into your stomach and you felt sick, dizzy almost as you watched him hesitate.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t do relationships.”

» The awkwardness «

Jinyoung was trying his best to be there for you, you were struggling to pass the one class you hated and Jungkook was, well, avoiding you at all cost.

A yawn escaped your lips, it was becoming harder to keep your eyes open as minutes slowly turned into hours. If you decided to call it a night and go to sleep, you would never pass your exam.

At that moment, you really wanted to scream and cry. Shout at the world for not being on your side since the beginning of the school year, why was it so hard on you? What did you do wrong?

An exhausted cry left your lips while you slumped back in your seat. The words in the textbook stopped making sense hours ago, Jinyoung was no longer awake to help you and you had no one else to turn to.

Feeling extremely agitated, you closed the book and hurled it away from you, almost hitting Jungkook while doing so. He stared at the textbook by his feet and chuckled to himself before glancing at a very distraught you.

“Are you struggling that much?”

His voice was soft and somewhat comforting, but it was awkward and you couldn’t bring yourself to glance at him, so you hesitantly nodded your head instead.

There was a kind smile on his lips that you missed when he sat down next to you. Not too close because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but close enough to help you.

“What do you need help with?” He urged placing the textbook back on the table.

You sighed in defeat, “everything.”

Without hesitation, Jungkook started from the beginning and helped simplify the text. He made it easier to understand, besides the awkward silences that took place in between, you began to understand what you once didn’t.

And thanks to Jungkook, you were confident when it was time to sit the exam. Safe to say, you finally passed the class you hated as much as you once hated your roommate.

Although it was still very awkward between you, Jungkook stopped avoiding you. He didn’t say much— not like he used to, but you didn’t make an effort either since you still had a lot on your mind.

Still, things were getting better.

» The silent reconciliation «

You were lying on the floor with the balcony door wide open, the cool air from outside wasn’t enough to stop you from over-heating as the sun beamed through the window.

The weather got nicer as the days passed by, summer vacation was just around the corner and you knew you would have nothing to do. So, you decided to mope around earlier rather than later, Jinyoung wasn’t too impressed when you told him.

“You’re not a cat,” he told you.

“You can’t do that all summer,” he said.

A shake in disagreement had him rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

There were crumbs littered around you with empty packets of crisps and cans. A smile adorned your face as you watched the male lead finally kiss the female.

Jungkook entered the flat to you on the floor, surrounded by a mess and a grin on your face. The drama you were watching wasn’t even that good, he grimaced hearing one of the many cheesy lines.

He proceeded towards the fridge to get his banana milk before settling into the couch; to join you. To enjoy your company for once instead of locking himself in his room.

“How can you watch that without cringing?”

Jungkooks’ question made you laugh, you sat up to look at him and shrugged your shoulders. There was something about the way you smiled at him to the way you crawled towards him to sit on the couch.

Jungkook gulped.

He didn’t even notice you were wearing nothing but an oversized shirt— an old one that once belonged to him.

“It’s not too bad, you get used to it actually.”

Jungkook glimpsed at you from the side of his eye before focusing back on the tv. Your confession was still fresh in his mind, playing like a broken record over and over again.

You never mentioned it again, mainly because he avoided you for like a week and you found it too awkward to talk to him. But things seemed to be okay now, he thought.

“What do you like to watch anyway?” You asked, shifting to look at him.

Jungkook was surprised by your question, but thinking about it, neither of you knew anything about the other.

“Iron man,” he told you.

A laugh parted your lips at his response, the way he said it with such an innocent face made him look like a child. It was cute.

Silence took place once your focus was back on the tv, there was nothing much to say or talk about. You’d never spent time like this together, although it was nice, it wasn’t normal.

You licked your lips, mind full of thoughts and such as you got off the couch. Perhaps, you still felt a little bit uncomfortable around him, not because he was sitting next to you, but because your confession was gnawing at your mind like a parasite.

“Where are you going?” Came his question.

It took a lot in you to turn around and stare at him, to make eye contact and to fake a smile. Fortunately, it didn’t take him long to catch on, to think about what he asked and awkwardly avoid eye contact.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” was your response. “It’s still a little bit difficult to be around you. I just need some time for things to go back to normal.”

What if I don’t want that, he thought to himself. What if he didn’t want things to go back to normal, what would you say then?

“But,” you added with a genuine smile this time. “I think I like this better— being friends instead of constantly bickering.”

Jungkooks’ smile in return was just as genuine.

» A new friend «

“UNO!”

Grumbling in irritation of possibly losing another round, you picked up 4 cards and then internally cried when you watched Jungkook throw down his last card.

There was a frown on your face when you threw your nine cards in his direction. When Jungkook suggested playing Uno you didn’t think you would lose every single game.

“I don’t want to play anymore,” you pouted.

That night Jungkook learnt you disliked losing.

➴➶➴➶

One hit. Two. Three more.

Six.

“Y/n, stop throwing popcorn at me and watch the damn movie,” he laughed when you hit him again.

There was a mischievous grin on your face, he wasn’t paying attention as his eyes were back on the tv. You took this as an opportunity to take a handful of popcorn and propel it at him, Jungkook shouted your name before chasing after you.

That night Jungkook learnt you got bored easily.

➴➶➴➶

You were in Jungkooks’ room, he had his last class today so he wasn’t home. Not yet, anyway. So, you took that as your chance to invade his closet for another hoodie, another black one.

When he got home you were still going through each hoodie, narrowing it down to three and then two and then choosing the one you liked best. Although all of them looked the same, there was a different comfort to each of them.

Jungkook had banana milk in his hand, straw in his mouth as he observed you from his doorway. There was a wide grin on his face while he watched you try the last one on.

“Are you seriously stealing my clothes again?”

You pursed your lips, preferring the last one you tried on better than any of the others and then smiled in triumph.

“At least it’s not your banana milk,” you teased before sliding off to your room.

That night Jungkook learnt you liked his hoodies better than your own.

➴➶➴➶

You lay your head on Jungkooks’ shoulder, a yawn broke your lips as you attempted to stay awake. It had been a long day, and you were exhausted.

Especially since Jungkooks’ loud friend had woken you up so early, Namjoon was his name you think, or was it Taehyung? You couldn’t quite remember.

It didn’t matter though, you would be in your bed soon, you just needed to wait for Jungkook; he wanted to say bye to his friends before leaving the party youse were currently at.

However, they were nowhere to be seen.

“Jungkook,” you muttered earning his attention. “I’ll head home, you can stay a little longer and hang out with your friends.”

His eyebrows furrowed in thought, “are you sure?”

“Of course!”

There was a smile on your face, a genuine one at that, but you did feel a little sad that you two weren’t walking back home together. No matter, you’d see him the next morning considering you lived together. Duh.

Jungkook watched you stand up and stretch your arms, he missed your warmth already. He let you gather your things, sliding on your jacket before reaching for your bag.

Luckily, it wasn’t a big party and just a friendly get together to celebrate the end of the school year. Well, one of many yet to come.

“I’ll give Jinyoung a call and talk to him on my walk home, that way it’ll feel like a faster walk,” you said before heading towards the door.

Jungkook hesitated for a second, glancing around in quick movements his friends really were nowhere to be seen at that moment, so he thought what the heck, and rushed after you.

You were surprised to see him, considering he was eager to say bye to his friends since they were going back home for summer break and he wasn’t.

“I promised you we would walk home together,” he explained before you could question him. “Let’s go.”

That night you learnt that either Jungkook kept his promises, or you meant a whole lot more to him than you thought.

» Euphoria «

There was a soft smile on your face, mind zoning in and out as your eyes slipped closed every few seconds before you opened them once again.

It was a nice evening, Jungkook thought as he admired you from his place on the love-seat. You were on the floor, leaning against the balcony railing, appreciating the view, savouring the nice weather and listening to the bustling city.

The idea of spending the rest of the evening on the balcony was your idea, Jungkook merely agreed because he had nothing better to do, except drink banana milk, and right now, spending time with you deemed sweeter.

There was a smile on lips as he appreciated your features from his seat. The setting sun, golden with soft hues of oranges, hit off your face perfectly making it seem as if you were glowing.

Jungkook felt his heart beating loudly in his chest, drumming in ears and spinning in his mind while he thought about you and your confession.

Was it too late to bring it up? Maybe, maybe not.

You turned around to face Jungkook, smiled wide and genuine before moving to stand in between his legs. He thought you were beautiful when you smiled without a reason; when you smiled at him and for him.

He thought you were most beautiful when you were yourself, not caring a single bit about what others thought of you.

“Jungkook, if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

It was an innocent question because you were genuinely curious to learn more about him, and get to know him better than you already did.

Jungkook stood up, eyes gazing down into yours.

“If I could have anything in the world, I would choose you.”

A gasp left your lips, you weren’t expecting that to be the answer. You thought he would speak about a dream job or a lifetime supply of banana milk. Not you.

He gently cupped your cheek with one hand while circling the other around your waist to draw you closer. You didn’t push him away, you didn’t stop him, no. Instead, you let him do as he pleased because, for the first time, you felt the racing of his heart.

“I don’t know if you still feel the same way about me, but I’m in love with you, y/n,” he confessed. “I know I told you that I don’t do relationships, but I’m willing to try and succeed with you, and... And I know I didn’t go by things the right way, and I’m really sorry, buh—but I’ll be better. I’ll do better... for you. Always.”

Without hesitation, without a single thought of reconsideration, you kissed him. You kissed him with tenderness and passion, you kissed him slowly and softly.

And he kissed back with just as much.

There was a soft smile on his lips when you parted, and for the first time, you saw genuine love and care in his eyes.

That was when you felt intense happiness.

“Of course, I love you, Jungkook,” you spoke softly but surely. “You’re my euphoria.”

➴➶➴➶

« thank you for reading, feedback is always appreciated. »

#bts #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts smut #jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #bts au #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop smut #kpop au #euphoria

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roselovesa · 3 years

Text

have you seen CHOI HYEJIN ? i heard SHE is a FLORIST at THE GREEN MEADOW. they’re 21 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for one year. they tend to be BENEVOLENT & MAGNANIMOUS, but rumor has it they can also be CAPRICIOUS & FINICKY.

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://STATISTICS.

name: choi hyejin

age: twenty - one

sign: pisces sun / libra moon ( click )

sexuality: bisexual

gender: cis woman ( she/her/hers )

occupation: florist , pianist, & composer

alignment: chaotic neutral

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://BIOGRAPHY

* note: minho’s little sister !! <33

📍 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙽𝙴 - 𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚕, 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑 𝚔𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚊.

born as the youngest child of a nurse & a teacher, hyejin’s childhood was nothing out of the ordinary. her love for music had always been apparent — her mother noticing early on that, whenever her daughter was throwing a hissy fit, all she had to do was play some classical music in order to get her to calm down

hence, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that her father decided to teach her how to play the piano at the age of 6. & by the age of 9 she was labeled a child prodigy. hyejin would often participate in competitions, attend music camps, & play in front of anyone who was willing to listen. her talent was undeniable, truly

in the years to follow she would pick up other instruments here & there ( violin, guitar, french horn ), but nothing seemed to stick as much as piano did. hyejin would also dabble in writing her own music, often with the help of her father

& if there’s one thing hyejin learned it’s that practice makes perfect. by the age of 11 she managed to become an extremely valuable asset for her school’s yearly musicals as she composed about 60% of the songs performed <33

she went viral on social media a few times as well, her youtube channel accumulating about 1.6M views by her 4th upload. she would frequently get interviewed around that time as well, with professionals often commenting on hyejin’s bright future

📍 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚢, 𝚄𝚂𝙰.

her brother getting injured on tv was a catalyst of change. hyejin convinced her parents to let her move to new york in order to take care of him, being well aware her life had considerably dulled the moment he decided to leave a few years prior

the move went smoothly, & with opportunities lining up in front of her, she decided to get a bachelor’s degree in music composition, her accomplishments allowing her to attend one of the most prestige universities in the city

it’s there where she fell in love with a guy who she deemed to be a mentor of sorts ; always pushing her to do better & achieve unattainable perfection. it had been so easy for hyejin to trust him with her work, with him appearing to be the more experienced & wiser of the two. he was a child of a famous musician after all, mastering the arts of sweet talking unassuming girls with a whole lot of empty promises

so when their uni announced a proposal of a student being able to apply for an internship that would skyrocket their careers right into stardom, hyejin was well aware this was an opportunity that couldn’t be missed. her boyfriend mentioned how he wouldn’t apply, seeing his father could offer him a job easily, but mentioned how she should send her work to him so he could look it over & help her out

😬

“ hey babe, i’m sorry to tell you this but the piece you sent me just isn’t that good… i can’t quite put my finger on it, but the composition is just wrong. it’s okay, though, you’re only a freshman & still have a lot to learn, we’ll work on it together. but maybe forget about the internship for now ? i’m sure with some improvement my father will manage to get you an even better job… anyways, love you, talk to you soon ”

crestfallen & humiliated, hyejin accepted the fact that it would be simply too embarrassing to submit the sheets of music she’d written. it was two weeks later that her boyfriend abruptly ghosted her, only for her to find out he’d gotten the internship by applying with the composed music she sent him. he denied any claims of stealing, & when hyejin told her professor about the situation he basically wrote it off as well

📍 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴: 𝚜𝚊𝚗 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚘, 𝚄𝚂𝙰.

in the next few months it felt like her life had crumbled down around her, hyejin’s future career appearing grim. minho & her decided to move to san verto in order to find peace, a fresh start waiting for them there

she took up multiple side jobs to get her music out there again, while also trying to push past the writer’s block she experienced due to stress. on week days she would give rich kids piano lessons after uni & bloom under the praises their parents would give her skills. on the weekends she would play at a 5 star restaurant, hoping the right people would discover her there

having lost the comfort music once gave her, hyejin decided to take up a job as a florist & keeps herself busy tending to flowers. it isn’t her ideal career plan, but at least she’s moving forward with her life

throughout the years she kept uploading videos of her playing piano on youtube, each video getting about 900k views on average. it allows her to be fairly recognizable on her own accord, although most of her fame comes from being associated with her brother. she’s starting to climb in popularity, though, spending some of her time to focus on crafting a stronger social media presence

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://PERSONALITY.

🦋 𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙶𝚈 - 𝚜𝚞𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊

click me !

empathic, romantic, impressionable, & imaginative - hyejin tends to see the world through a rose colored glass ; the harsh realities of life often making her want to indulge in escapism. overall a generous and kind person

can’t handle pressure well, ultimately she’s a perfectionist. hyejin has a specific vision of how she wants her life to play out, & if anything interferes with that she might feel devastated & defeated. however, she’s quick to get back on her feet & continue pursuing what she was working on

obsessed with fairytale romances, used to read countless of young adult novels hoping she’d experience love like that. hyejin easily tends to romanticize & idealize the people she’s fond of, thinking they can do no wrong in her eyes & putting them on a pedestal *coughs* minho :(

despite all of that she has a great intuition, hypersensitive to her environment. she’s often aware of other people’s emotions, meaning when someone or something’s off she usually able to identify such things immediately

would prefer to avoid conflict at all cost as well, she doesn’t enjoy being faced with consequences of her own actions

at first glance she can appear rather stand-offish as well, not really the type to walk up to someone & handle small talk in an eloquent way. she’s shy & an introvert, the type to hide behind her mother whenever someone addressed her when she was younger. hyejin is only able to come out of her shell around people she knows she can trust

channels all of her feelings into her art !!

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://WANTED CONNECTIONS.

💌 𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙲 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ( open to m/f/nb muses ! )

current flings

will they / won’t they

friends with benefits ( one-sided, purely platonic, etc… )

unrequited love type of thing ( either hyejin or your muse )

fake dating au

exes on bad terms

exes on good terms

enemies to friends ( ? ) to lovers / flings ( ? ) to exes ( ? ) ( we can do this however you see fit ! )

one of them caught feelings ( thinking they had something special ) & suddenly the other ghosted, perhaps leaving behind a bruised ego )

💌 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙸𝙲 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗�� ( open to m/f/nb muses ! )

best friend

good influence

bad influence

childhood friends

protective type of friendship ( can go either way ! )

confidants

someone ( preferably an artist ) hyejin looks up to

friends who hang out purely because it’s good for their public image

secret type of friendship where being seen together in public would damage their image, aka them meeting up in private !

were set up on a blind date together, hit it off in a platonic way & became really good friends <33

only hang out because of mutual friends

💌 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙲𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙴𝙾𝚄𝚂 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ( open to m/f/nb muses ! )

hyejin’s muse aka whenever she sees them she gets inspired to write a song or two <3

blackmailing type of plots

general dislike for each other, they simply do not vibe

someone hyejin teaches how to play piano

rivalry, they see each other as competition

have shared secret where both of them are/were involved in a situation, & promised secrecy to each other

@foolsstarters

#foolsintro #🥺#also if you see any spelling errors .. no you didnt

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starburst-sunbeam · 3 years

Text

Something that’s been on my mind

Hi! So I haven’t been on this blog in a long, long time, but there’s something that’s been on my mind lately in relation to AiP that I’ve been thinking about, and whether or not anyone reads this, I kind of want to get it out.

So if you’ve been following this blog, you may know that historically, christmas-new years has not been a great time of year for me. My first ex in uni, who I’d been with for over a year, broke up with me shortly before christmas, and got together with someone else I thought was a mutual friend of ours at a New Years party. This was devastating for me and had a long term impact on my mental health. Every year around this same time of year I tend to dip emotionally.

With that context, around two years ago I was going through AiP’s comments and bookmarks on AO3 for things to cheer me up and remind me I had touched stranger’s lives even if they didn’t know me. And I discovered a bookmark that had been made recently at the beginning of January, one with a very long description, and I got excited at such detailed thoughts.

And the bookmarker was... not nice. I don’t mean outright mean, not at all, but a lot of the comments were things that really hurt my feelings. I know that the setting makes little sense, because I am from Canada and kept waffling between setting the story in Canada or the USA, and I only have knowledge of the USA school system from entertainment media. I know Peter runs hot and cold and a lot of the fights are over-dramatised compared to what the actual argument is. I know Austin’s motivations don’t make much sense early on. I know I repeated character names, I know I picked up and dropped side plots, I know that I did things I forgot to foreshadow and seemed random and sudden. I know all that.

I started AiP in high school, simply writing it for myself and for fun. I showed it to one of my best friends I took the bus to school with, and she encouraged me to share it with another friend, and the both of them encouraged me to put it up online. Without these two friends, AiP would’ve never gone public, let alone become completed. It took me three years ultimately to finish it. I was largely done in two, but then I had a really hard time with my mental health.

By the end, I knew the beginning of the story was weak, I knew there was a lot of things I was unhappy with, but I was also exhausted. It wasn’t worth a rewrite. I’d already put so much work in, and improved a lot as a writer over the course of the story. Put quite simply, I was done. AiP’s time was over, and I just didn’t have it in me to go back and revise it the way it deserved.

When I got that bookmark, it really highlighted a lot of my insecurities in my own writing. I want to stress this was not the bookmark creator’s fault. They had every right to leave their opinions on my work in their own bookmark, for their own reference and their friend’s. Book reviews aren’t for the author, but other readers. But it also made me really angry, because here I had written 125k for free, finished it even when I was struggling, and this person was ungrateful? Wishing it had more sex in it, when I’d started writing it as a minor and didn’t feel right writing sex scenes? What did they know about me?

I was so angry I almost took the story down, because obviously this person hadn’t appreciated it. But I remembered it was not just this person who had read this story, and that many of you had checked in on me even when it seemed like I might never finish the story or update again, to make sure I was okay. You all didn’t deserve that. I know how much it hurts when a writer takes down a story or fic, and if you didn’t make a copy, it’s gone forever.

Where am I going with this? I just want everyone to remember that writers are people too. Sometimes we’re going through things behind the screen that you have no idea about. Please be kind. Please think about what you would like to hear if you were the writer and possibly going through something. I know a lot of us are consuming even more fic now we’re almost all on lockdown at home, but remember that writers are people, not algorithms you put tropes into and fic comes out.

I can tell you, personally, that at my lowest I didn’t have it in me to reply to a lot of comments on the fic or asks left in my askbox. But every single one meant something to me. Each one was a person I had touched and who my story meant something to. That was immense.

I’m doing a lot better now. I’m still not writing a lot, for a mix of reasons, but it’s not because I’m deeply depressed like I had been before. (I still have major depression and likely will for the rest of my life, but I’m learning to handle it. I don’t think I’m in the same danger of going that deep again.)

Again, my reaction to that bookmark was not the bookmarker’s fault. Please, please do not harass them or anything. This is just a plea to think about the wider reactions your actions can cause. I really would have liked if that person had locked the bookmark and made it private so I didn’t have to see it. Any comment you leave can make a huge difference. I hope this doesn’t make anyone feel that they shouldn’t comment or make them anxious. Comments are the only reason I finished AiP at all. But times are hard right now, so maybe remember to be kind?

And if you don’t hear from me for a while, don’t panic. I’m doing okay. I’m just muddling along, and probably not getting a lot of writing done. But I’m figuring things out, and I promise that every message I’ve received that was checking in on me meant a lot.

#author things #long post #writing #fic #fic writing

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shinrasfirst · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO. (I mean? I’m not sure? I hope he will be more important, but as it is, he could have been cut out of Part 1 of the remake.)

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (Except that he kinda saved him.. I can’t answer these questions, I am so biased.)

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (?)

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask, I’d say!

How strictly do you follow canon?

There isn’t much canon to go on, first of all. I am taking what I can get and expand on it. There’s probably some stuff about him that I don’t know, because I am notoriously bad at researching things properly, and also I forget stuff. So.. he’s canon-based as much as possible, but then majorly fleshed out by my own ideas because otherwise he’d be a very two-dimensional character.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

He’s wild and fun and crazy and could make for some interesting threads---

He is actually compatible with a lot of muses because he technically works for Shinra, but then doesn’t seem to give a lot of fucks about his employment status, meaning he can also work with the other side without me having to change his setting much.

He’s gorgeous. Look at him.

He is flirty and easy to smut with.

He has a completely unknown backstory that could be explored c;

Did you see that ass?

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

He’s a bit nuts. If you’re looking for a predictable, soft, sweet romance or friendship, he is not your guy.

He'll probably die young. And there shall be angst and pain.

I’ve seen some people really reduce him to a maniac to lives on the road to attack random people. If that’s your idea of Roche then I am sure you wouldn’t be looking for threads with him~

He is tough to write love/romance with. Like proper romance.

He has a completely unknown backstory.. so my version might differ greatly from what you have in mind.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

I played the Remake and driving on those motorcycles was insane but kind of fun - and then shows up this guy who just drove right into my heart as soon as he popped up on the screen, laughing like a mediocre villain from YuGiOh. I thought that was all it was going to be, but I was thrilled to see that it wasn’t. I just love this character. I rewatched his fight scenes with Cloud a hundred times. He is so.. peculiar. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, and then I saw a bit more of him on tumblr, fanarts and such, and I wanted to give it a shot :)

What keeps your inspiration going?

New headcanons about him that pop into my head. Finding other people who love him and talking to them & rping with them! Like with all muses, I tend to love them even more the longer I play them, compared to when I start out, because new stories around them develop, I get a clearer image of their character and backstory in my head, and new plans for their future :) On a more to-the-point level: quotes, poems, music, images, all those things give me inspiration. Also similar characters in other media, or stories that fit Roche and that I can recycle and reform into part of his.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO. According to whom? I am alright with the way I write him, or I’d be doing it differently. Would Square Enix think I am doing a good job? Idk. Do other Roche rpers think I am? Idk. Does it matter? As long as there are people who enjoy writing with my version of him, I am doing my job, I think :) There are Roche portrayals I find “better” than mine in some ways, more developed, but I don’t really compare myself in that way.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. Yes and now because while I stand to the way I write all my muses, Roche in particular is one I haven’t fully developed yet. There are things about his story I am still unsure about or have no clear ideas for yet. So, I’m not feeling insecure when I write him, but I am not overly confident in throwing him in any situation, because something might come up that’ll require me to think harder that I’d have to while playing.. e.g. Rufus.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. I’m no Rowling, I’m no Tolkien, I know that. But I think my writing is alright. I try to put some internal thoughts in my replies, describe the scene abit, offer some dialogue if applicable, and move the action forward. I am not writing a book here, I am writing something interactive, so my partner is my main concern aside from telling the story. I do feel like I’m doing an okay job at that, so in that sense I am confident in my writing.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. I’m not entirely sure what this is referring to, but generally I’d say no. I can deal with most topics, it’s pretty hard to offend me, I’m open to most things, and there are very few issues I feel like they can’t be solve with just talking about them.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

It depends? I almost never get constructive criticism. What I absolutely accept is things like.. someone correcting mistakes I’ve made in terms of timelines or canon facts, because I am lazy by default and tend to not research something well and just wing it. So it might be that I’ll put some fake news into my threads that I have no problem with if someone corrects - actually, please do, I’ll gladly fix it. (Especially if they’re relevant to your muse.)

If someone dislikes a headcanon of mine or something that is particular to my portrayal of Roche, that’s really not something I aspire to change. I have my ideas of him and everyone else has their own. If a friend came to me and told me a certain headcanon of mine makes no sense because of the canon storyline or whatever, and it sounded valid to me, I’d consider that. That wouldn’t offend me. If someone just told me they dislike an idea I had, that is the kind of criticism I don’t really accept. That’s not criticism to me, that is a personal opinion that we disagree on. It’s not my problem if someone dislikes my portrayal, they don’t have to interact with it. I take no offense in that, unless it’s reported to me in a rude manner.

With regard to my writing? I don’t ask for criticism and I don’t really want it either. I know what areas I have to work on in order to improve, I don’t need anyone to give me pointers there. I have enough of that in my academic papers at university ;) This is a hobby, so I’m trying to have a good time and good plays with others, I’m not trying to win any awards. However, if I post a reply my partners aren’t sure how to work with (e.g. they need more dialogue, or more action) I am absolutely willing to edit it, no problem. Also, not just on tumblr/in the RPC but in general, people are really really REALLY bad at giving constructive criticism. It never ceases to amaze me how much people suck at that. Like I said, I don’t get offended easily, but it makes me laugh sometimes (e.g. after presentations at uni) how horrible the feedback comes across sometimes. And then everyone gets butthurt and I once again marvel at the fact that no lecturer ever gives advice on how to give good feeback. (I guess because a lot of lecturers can’t do it either.)

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

Absolutely! It helps a lot. Sometimes it’s a real challenge, but those are necessary and very welcome while developing a character. Other people often think of things I didn’t even consider, so I welcome it when they come into my askbox with these questions :)

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Maybe? If it was a friend or an rp partner, I’d hear them out for sure. If it was someone I don’t even write with.. maybe not. Like, what’s the point? Clearly I made up my mind about it, so why would you come to me to inform me that you see it differently? Go right ahead, neither one of us writes these games, so both our versions are equally right or wrong. If it’s about something that could lead to an interesting discussion, though? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I'd say some people like chocolate ice cream and some like vanilla. That’s okay. I’m not trying to please everyone on tumblr, I’m here to write what I want to write and if just one other person likes my portrayal, that can be enough for me :) If someone dislikes my portrayal, they’re free not to interact with me.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

I’ve written more characters that were absolutely despised by a good chunk of the fandoms I was in, than characters who were loved, I think. I couldn’t care less. If someone hates Roche - or any of my muses - that’s their thing and has nothing to do with me. As long as they don’t feel the need to inform me about it or send me hate over it, what’s it to me? I don’t need people to like my favorite characters, it has no influence on how I feel.

But also.. why would you hate Roche? Look at him, he’s amazing :D

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

Sure. English isn’t my first language, I’m sure I make mistakes all the time. I’m not embarrassed by that, everyone makes mistakes, even people whose first language is English. That being said, don’t go weeding through my posts looking for mistakes, because I won’t go back and fix them in most cases, so it’s really a waste of time~

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I think so. I’m pretty relaxed most of the time, and I try to be polite and kind in any situation that comes up. I don’t get offended unless you’re accusing me of something I didn’t do, twist my words, insult my friends, or act like a total brat. Before I start a war with someone, I’ll usually withdraw myself from the situation. I am pro-unfollowing/blocking if I dislike someone. I would never send anon hate or write a call out. I’m not here for that. I think we should all try to be kinder than we feel, we should all show respect for others and tolerate differences, and we should try to treat people the way we want to be treated. Live and let live.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: stole it. Tagging: anyone who’d like!

#( out of mako. )#( m: roche. )

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mystech-master · 4 years

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Some other BBTAG scenarios that’d be cool

(I will now try and limit myself to the o.g. 4, b/c I barely know jack about Arcana Heart, Senran Kagura, Akatsuki Blitzkampf)

I might’ve mentioned some of these before, but I’m including them here for completionists sake

1. Ragna hanging out with Gordeau. I like his interactions with Ragna in BBTAG’s story okay, he treated Ragna with respect. Maybe Ragna meets Gordeau in Kanzakai and he goes to Gordeau’s bar and they chat. Ragna learns about how the Hollow Night works, they could chat about how annoyed that are by their usual aquaintances (Goedeau about Hilda and Chaos, and Ragna about.....well almost everyone in his life). Maybe Gordeau and Ragna get on the topic of revenge, since Ragna wants revenge on Terumi and Gordeau has a vendetta against Wagner. Ragna talks about how he had Terumi at his mercy once (CS’ climax) and Gordeau asks if it was worth it. Ragna notes that it was unsatisfying due to Terumi laughing during it when Ragna wanted him to suffer, AND recalls how Lambda died for him, and says it wasn’t worth it. (I see this as between CS and before CP).

If you want to go even further, maybe Gordeau introduces him to the rest of Amnesia (or Hilda and Chaos show up at the bar as Ragna and Gordeau are talking), and they offer Ragna to join Amnesia, sensing the power he has and saying that they share similar goals of taking down their world’s organizations of Order (Amnesia vs Licht Kreis and Ragna vs the N.O.L.). Of course Ragna tells them to fuck off b/c “When I did it it was for revenge, you’re doing it for shits and giggles” (TFS reference). I mean Hilda says that Amnesia’s purpose is just a bunch of people who want to be powerful and have fun. But they don’t kill, that rule was made clear by Chaos in Ekidu’s Chronicle Mode (following the death of Roger and Ogre in Gordeau’s Chronicle Mode).

2. Ragna in Remnant, like his first visit there. Of course Ruby might want to talk to him more, Yang gives him the benefit of the doubt for saving Ruby, Blake is in the middle considering I think she’d understand the situation they were in but also be wary of his Soul Eater ability (I think Blake would notice that), while Weiss would be against him due to her seeing his wanted poster for 90,000,000,000 PD. Ozpin could have Qrow tail Ragna since he is Oz’ informant and Ragna does seem to be a more active/immediate threat to those who don’t know him (if you want comedy maybe Qrow’s Misfortune semblance causes more grief for Ragna. Assuming that RWBY still have their System Crystal from RWBY’s ending, they could tell Ozpin about this and Oz will be up to speed.

So when Ragna shows up at Beacon he gets called to the Headmaster’s Office where the Ozluminati is waiting for him to just get the run down on things. Ragna’s bad attitude would attract Grimm, and also his Soul Eater makes him quite dangerous in a world where the powers are based on the Soul. Oz doesn’t want to start shit and Qrow probably has enough info to see he isn’t AS bad as people say, and that the situation is far more complicated. But Ragna is still a criminal with a dangerous power. The only reason he’s only being given a warning is due to Ruby’s good word, and if he tries anything, no matter the cost he WILL doe everything in his power to stop him from harming his students or the world he has sworn to protect as a Huntsman. Plus the fact that they can’t exactly enforce the las of a whole other Dimension.

Glynda is a bit wary of Ragna but respects Ozpin’s decissions, but Ironwood is in the camp of “This guy is a danger to us, so we should either contain him or kill him”.

If you want to go a bit more into the adult interactions, maybe after Qrow hears of Ragna’s shit lif ehe tries to take Ragna out to drink, but I think Ragna isn’t one to drink b/c he’d see it as a bitch’s way of dealing with probelms. But if Qrow annoy him to a point they have a drink off, butRagna out drinks him b/c his Azure Grimoire has a healing factor against toxins too (as shown how he shook off poison in one of the mangas) so he can’t get drunk.

Or you could have Taiyang seeing Ragna fight (Grimm, sparring with Qrow, who knows) and he picks up on how Ragna’s fighting is like Yang’s: prefering to go trhough everything and rely on your power when you get in a jam. But it can’t always save you. Maybe even have Tai give Ragna a thanks for saving his daughters, or this could be the only way you imagine Burnie Burns as Tai channel his inner Church and have him sass Ragna.

3. Referencing back to the post about the scene in CS where Ragna is with the Kaka Clan, you know the one I constantly reference. I'd imagine that after a week or so of everyone just chilling with each other Ragna is WAY more chill with everyone. So what I thought was maybe Yang and Akihiko, along with a few others maybe, are at a boxing gym and then Ragna shows up being......oddly more friendly/chill than usual, and just have them all have a friendly spar and just have Ragna be chill and friendl with people who don’t insult him or treat him like ass. I wish there was another cool brawler in UNI that Ragna could get along with to even it out.

4. Something smaller, just put anyone in the Kaka Village and watch cuteness overload. You guys saw how Weiss was with Zwei and Adrien, and Kanji wanted to pet Jubei so imagine how he’d react to the Kaka kittens.

5. Just something simple and cool for fighting shit: The I.T. go through the Emerald Forest in the style of Beacon’s Initiation Exam. With the 4 o.g. members of the I.T./current 3rd years (Yu, Yosuke, Chie and Yukiko) for one team, with the later members/2nd years form the other team (Naoto, Kanji, Teddie and Rise).

6. Adam Taurus and some other W.F. members are raiding a Sector Seven outpost/storage facility only to be intercepted by Makoto and Blake. After some fighting maybe Kokonoe talks over intercom or through a video screen so we can have some philosophical discussion between her and Adam,. Adam saying she’s kissed up to humans, while Kokonoe calls Adam and the WF bitches for letting the humans’ insults get to them this far. Makoto and Blake are a but uncomfortable, b/c while Adam is too heated about the animal people racism resulting in him going to murder people, Kokonoe has become a cold hearted bitch who, while not evil, has some issues.

7. How does Raven react to all this Cross-Dimensional bullshit? One idea I had was Yu talking with her to try and get her to see the Power of Friendship! He notes how her power also works through bonds, being able to make portals to those she has an emotional connection to (her former husband, brother, and daughter). Maybe then he unleashes his Wild Card aura to show how powerful Friendship can be (you know, the same aura that makes Elizabeth, the one who oneshots Erebus every other month, step back). Raven could still call Yu a naive idiot for thinking he can stop the horrors of Salem, although even she finds it hard to beleive that when Yu most likely just showed off Izanagi-no-Okami aura which was said by Izanami to possibly be near godlike power.

8. Sho Minazuki and Carmine Prime meeting. Both are vulgar fight happy assholes who have a blood moon motif going on. Sho goes to Kanzakai b/c the Hollow Night is full of assholes he can fight for fun. He and Carmine can fight and mayeb vibe off each other a bit, but Sho at leats has a tragic past while Carmine is just a loser who doesn’t care if he dies in a gutter. Mabe Labrys could say something like “I’m glad that Sho-kun finally has a friend he can relate to.....but.....I don’t think he’s a good influence.” As Sho and Carmine are laughing manicaly as they fight.

9. Ozpin learning about the Insulator and just....needing to sit down. Because as we all know from Vol 6, he had No plan to defeat Salem and was playing the long game defense. But now thanks to this cross-dimensional bullshit, here is the perfect weapon to FINALLY end it! Oz tries to talk to Linne about convincing Hyde to let him use it. But Linne has told Hyde to guard the Insulator with his life, and Linne doesn’t trust anyone else with it. Eventually Ozpin’s desperation leaks through and Linne connects the dots about Salem’s Immortality and Ozpin hiding her immortality. She then holds it over Oz’s head that if he tries to force the Insulator from Hyde she’ll spill his secret.

DRAMA

10. The main heroes (Ragna, Yu, Hyde, and Ruby) all talking with System just wondering what it would’ve been like if they all lived in a merged world. How would their lives be different, imagine them all going to school together? The possibilities are endless.

11. Doctor Oobleck beign fascinated by these other worlds and wanting to learn about their histories. Espeically the Persona and Under Night worlds (as thye are “Earth” worlds where things are very normal, no Grimm to limit humanity to 4 kingdoms and some small villages that get razed to the ground on a weekly to monthly basis. That sounds like it would be FASCINATING for a historian like Oobleck. Unfortunately since Earth doesn’t have dark monsters to unite against, we have a shit load of wars against each other. Which could lead to a lot of philosophical discussions about how people can only band together if they have a mutual enemy.

Just imagine Oobleck talking with Jubei or Bang about the Ikaruga Civil War, just Oobleck and Bang talking would be fun.

12. The robot girls: Noel, Aigis, Labrys, Vatista, and Penny all hanging out. Vatista is the most Robotic, Aigis has the most “life” expereince, Noel is the most “human”, Labrys and Penny are both very human like but naive and lack life experience. So they could all talk about shit.

13. Weiss wanting to spend time with Mitsuru, b/c Mitsuru is basically everything Weiss wants to be: she is an exceptional leader (commanding both SEES in her school years and current leader of the Shadow Operatives), a skilled fighter (Mitsuru flawlessly summons her Persona and Weiss struggles with summons at Beacon, AND her 1 v 1 Win-Loss record is kind of iffy), and she is on her way to redeeming her family name and company (after Mitsuru’s grandad caused the Dark Hour Incident 10 years before P3, and Weiss wants to redeem the SDC from her father) although IDK if it is still going on because A. people are still against Kirijo for the explosion accident 10 years before P3, or B. people are just against a woman being in power. Like Mitsuru is liek a perfect role model for Weiss.

I might add more later, lemme know what you guys think and if you guys want to take these to use them for fics.

#bbtag #blazblue cross tag battle #blazblue #persona #p3 #persona 3 #persona 4 #p4 #persona 4 arena #p4a #persona 4 arena ultimax #p4au #under night in-birth #uni #unib #rwby #crossover #character interactions

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weissfai-blog1 · 5 years

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Best Wishes to You.

Ae Pete Childhood Friend AU I just realized, why does all my fics contain scary, torment and full of heartache plots? I wanna see the darkness inside me? Hmmm.

Ae and Pete grew up together. Both of their mothers are friends from high school, though the difference was that Ae’s mother is not from a rich family, while Putch came from a very well known family. But that doesn’t stop the friendship of the two that extends towards their sons Ae and Pete.

The mansion of Putch is just right beside the 4 storey building house of her friend.

When both mother’s got pregnant, they tease each other that their two babies should be married so that they can be a real family.

Ae was born months earlier than Pete.

Ae become the protector of the shy, clumsy and often teased Pete, cause Ae doesn’t like it when Pete cried. When they were kids, he once fought with Pete that end up into the later crying – his chubby cheeks so red and his eyes are shimmering with tears – he felt his heart break and vow that he will never let Pete cry again even if he finds a crying Pete super cute.

Whoever makes Pete cry will answer to Ae’s fist and kick. No mercy whether it be a girl or a boy. That continued till their high school.

Ai Koon Chai is the word of endearment of Ae to Pete that started when both of them are only 7 years old.

Pete seems so delicate and unlike him who often has bruises here and there.

Ae’s mother will often knock his head when he forces Pete to play outside and making the young master dirty all over his white shirt. Pete will then cry and tell his mother, ‘Please MaeMae don’t hurt my Ae. Don’t hurt his head, he might turn into an idiot.’ When Ae heard that, it was his turn to knock Pete’s head, Pete will massage his head while Ae was getting his 3rd knock from his Mother for hitting Pete.

Putch will only laugh when Pete will arrive dirty with mud and grass on his clothes. Par Jiew will laugh along and fix the young master before the master of the house arrives.

When Pete at the age of 9 was inside the mansion learning English and other complicated stuff, Ae was outside playing football with his friends, getting yelled at by his mother, getting into fights with other kids, racing his bicycle with the other kids. But he never forgets to come back exactly 5pm caused that means Pete can play with him.

Pete will cry when he will see Ae with a bruise or a scratch and sometimes blood on his knees and elbows, Pete have perfected the art of taking care of Ae in that department. There’s always a first aid kit inside his room or bandage, gauze and ointment inside his bag.

Ae hates Pete’s dad for breaking Pete & Mae Putch heart when he abandons them. From then on Ae swore that Pete will never feel abandon nor will he ever feel that he is not needed.

Ae often spend the night at Pete’s room and this is their usual ritual:

Ae and Pete will talk about anyone in their school

Pete will laugh non-stop because Ae apparently gain a nosy friend in the form of Pond who Pete thinks is so funny (though Ae will never let Pond near Pete cause he knew how perverted that jackass was – their first meeting was him saving Pond from their teacher when the later drops his porn mag)

Pete will read while Ae will watch the latest football match on Pete’s large TV

Pete will beg Ae to help him with his math problems

Ae will be so prideful to let Pete help him with his English but a puppy pouting Pete will have his way and teach him anyway

Pete and him will play video games and when Ae sees that Pete was about to cry for his lost for the nth time, he will lose on purpose to put a smile on Pete’s face

They will sleep together holding hands

Pete slowly grew taller than Ae and become such a fine Koon Chai. Ae doesn’t know or get why he felt a sudden shortness of breathe or that he is having a weird heart palpitation whenever Pete is near.

He knew Pete to be cute and pretty, much prettier than any girl he knew. Not even their prettiest girl in school can compete with Pete’s look. But he was amazed when Pete hit that stage of puberty. He looks so much delicate than before, milk skin that seems to bruise with a slight touch. Brownish hair that’s so soft. Long eyelashes that covers those sweet looking doe eyes. And what made him question himself more are those pink lips. Why does he feel the urge to just – well – just cover it with his own lips?

Some of their friends teases Ae that Pete is now much taller than him but Ae only grins and show them his fist with words: ‘Yeah he is tall. But I can still beat the crap out on all of you.’

Ae and Pete are still together but not the same as before where they are joined by the hips. Ae focuses more on his football club and Pete focuses more on his studies to help his mother.

It was their last year in high school and both decided to attend the same university, though Pete going to International College while Ae will go to Engineering (Civil Engineering Degree) as he is more familiar with STEM than any other.

Pete went to Ae’s classroom to ask him if they will return home together when he opens the door a girl was confessing to Ae.

‘I’m sorry!’ Pete shouted and close the door with a bang. ‘Ai Pete!’ Ae shouted to the running Pete. Ae was not able to run after Pete as the girl grabs him and asked again, ‘Please go out with me!’

Ae did answer and the girl cries.

Ae runs and he was told by Par Jiew that Pete went to the hotel with his mother.

It took 2 weeks before Ae and Pete saw each other again and Ae was confused as to why Pete’s face is smiling yet his eyes is so sad.

He felt hurt and wanted to know why. He doesn’t like that Pete is keeping something from him.

Pete only shook his head and told him, ‘You’re imagining things Ae. I’m okay. I must be just tired cause I took internship with my Mom.’

‘Are you going to work over the weekends?’

‘Yes Ae. And also the whole summer. We both passed the entrance exam so now I’ll help Mae and learn more about the hotel.’

Ae nodded and looks at Pete. Pete is saying something that’s slowly breaking his heart. He wont be able to see Pete and spend time with him.

‘How about you Ae? How are you and your girlfriend?’

‘MY WHAT?!’

‘Eh. But Ai Pond and the others, even Ai Sun and Ai Dear are teasing you about her right? I heard that she keeps on following you and even manage to be the manager of the football club. She’s so dedicated to you na.’

‘Pete. She is not my girlfriend and will never be.’

‘Why Ae? She looks cute.’

Ae looks at Pete. ‘Do you really want me to have a girlfriend?’

Pete smiles and says, ‘Yes. So that maybe you wont be so grouchy like a beast.’

Ae looks at Pete and laughs and ruffle his hair. Ae then suddenly hugs Pete and put his chin on Pete’s head. ‘I miss you Pete. If you have time to visit me, visit me please. Its so lonely without you by my side.’

Pete wanted to caress the arms that holds him but restrain himself.

He just nodded and smiles sadly.

They are now in college and Ae joins the football club there. Pete on the other hand is bombarded with activities and events for the InterCollege.

He was surprised to see Tin there.

Tin and him are mutual friends through their parent’s social status. Tin told him that he came back from England and is now studying the same course as Pete.

Both are friends in a unconventional way, as Tin considers Pete as his only friend and he will often said to Pete, ‘You are so privileged to have me as you friend.’ In which Pete will only laugh.

Nobody knows this but Tin may be cold and super rude to others, but he has a kind heart. He just doesn’t trust anyone especially when they get to know his family name.

Tin was taught by his idiot elder brother about life early on. Not to trust easily and not to give your heart just to anyone.

Pete is happy that Tin is here now, though he have forgotten to introduce Tin to Ae.

Ae and him still eats breakfast together but something happen after their 2 months in college.

Ae got himself a girlfriend. Pond, Dear, Sun, Oat, Ping and Bow are all surprised with the news and all look at Pete who was smiling and cheering his special friend. ‘Congratulations! What’s her name again?’

‘Yihwa. She’s a nurse student.’ Ae said with a forced smile on his face.

The whole gang asked so many questions and teases Ae so much but it was Pond and Sun who back away a little and side by side went to Pete.

‘Pete… are you okay?’ Pond asked, sure he is nosy and an asshole to some, but he cares so much about Pete too. Pete is the most gentle creature he had ever met and he knew about Pete’s feelings.

Sun who was said to be a flirt and often jokes himself being the guy for Pete was worried. ‘Ai Pete, do you want me to do kick Ai Shorty? Just tell me?’

Pete shook his head with a smile while looking at Ae who was busy laughing and getting angry with questions from their other friends. ‘He is happy. That’s all that matters.’

Sun and Pond looks at Pete and both nodded with mutual understanding.

If Pete doesn’t want to tell Ae his feelings, then they will respect that. But should Pete ask for their help, they will give it 120% for they care and love this little Prince.

Because Ae has a girlfriend, the text messages he sent Pete every morning is being rejected:

Ae. Eat with your girlfriend. She won’t forgive you if you didn’t invite her.

I’m sorry Ae. I’m busy. (⋟﹏⋞)

I’m sorry Ae, I’m with P’Money, we have to attend an event for reference. ＿ﾉ乙(､ﾝ､)＿

Ae, I’m sorry. I’m with Tin this morning. We need to finish our reports. (T_T)

I’m sorry Ae about dinner. Tin and I are still at uni. We have a presentation tomorrow at 8am. (つ﹏⊂)

Ae, I’m sorry I missed your call. I cannot go with you to dinner. I have to finish some essays with Tin. (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)

I’m so sorry Ae, please tell Yihwa sorry too. I know its her birthday, but I just cant go out. We have three proposal report due tomorrow. (ಥ﹏ಥ) Tin and I haven’t finish the second part. Sorry again na. I have given Pond my gift to Yihwa. Please check! I told Ai Pond not to drop it, that’s a perfume.

Ae. Please tell Yihwa that I cannot go with her. I’m so sorry again. I have to go with Tin. Our professor just tasked us to interview his dad! Can you believe? Of all people, we are to interview his dad! ⊂（゜Д゜⊂

Hello Ae. I’m so sorry. I know its your 100th and Pond told me about it. I gave Pond our gift to you guys. Enjoy!

Ae have been staring at his phone. He had been reading all the messages of him and Pete.

For the last 3-4 moths the only time he saw Pete was when he was passing by the Engineering Department to talk to a professor. He was about to go to him when the professor of their class enters and he have no choice but to go inside the room.

He was with the Tin guy he presumes. Tall, white, arrogant face.

What he understands on the last message was: “I gave Pond our gift to you guys.” >> OUR GIFT. WHO THE FUCK IS ‘OUR’?!

He read again the message and compose a new one:

AE: Hello Ai Koon Chai. Are you still busy? Yihwa and I are going out tomorrow and she told me to invite you.

Koon Chai: Then can I bring a someone?

AE: Who?

Koon Chai: Tin.

Ae reads it again and he didn’t notice how hard he was gripping his phone.

AE: I don’t know him Pete. I’m only inviting you.

Koon Chai: Oh. Then I have to decline Ae.

AE: What do you mean?! Are you saying you won’t come with us if that friend of yours isn’t with you?!

Koon Chai: Ae… please don’t get angry. I can sense your anger through your messages.

AE: Then don’t be unreasonable! I don’t know who the fuck is that guy. You keep on mentioning him to all your messages!

Koon Chai: I’m so sorry Ae. I wont’ bother you again. Please take care.

AE: AI PETE!

Ae didn’t receive any messages and he tried to call Pete only to be greeted by a busy line. He tried again and again and when 2 hours had passed, he knew Pete just blocked him.

Ae was so pissed and punches the wall. He will talk to Pete. He will not let this go. Just who the fuck is that guy as if he is someone more important than him?

Ae went to Pete’s apartment the following morning.

Ae confronted Pete on his apartment and Ae was shocked. How many months have they not seen each other? Pete looks so pale, but what stunned him was how beautiful Pete is and that he cant believe himself that he let those months passed by and he was not there to see this beauty for so many months.

‘Why did you block me?’ Ae asked in contained anger.

Pete didn’t answer and just shook his head. Ae was insisting until Pete gives in

‘Because Ae doesn’t like Tin.’

Ae was so angry with what he heard that he shouted ‘Why the hell should I like him?! Who the hell is he anyway?

‘Tin is Pete’s boyfriend Ae.’

‘What did you say?’

‘Tin is my boyfriend Ae. I am gay.’

Thanks @opald for the inspiration. hugs hugs hugs

#LBC #love by chance #AePete #Ae #Pete #hcs #weissfai

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purplesurveys · 5 years

Text

507

Name everyone you know who... is Jewish: I don’t think I know anyone who is. Do people I don’t know personally count? ‘Cause the first Jewish person I thought about was Colt Cabana lmfao. is Christian: 92% of this entire country. is Atheist: Me. JM is also atheist I think. is of another religion: I had a classmate in high school who I heard quietly converted to Buddhism, but I was never close with her so I don’t know if that is true, and if she still is. I haven’t seen her since we graduated. has brown eyes: My sister probably has the brownest eyes out of all of us, but it’s still quite a dark shade.

has blue eyes: I doubt there’s anyone in my circle with this eye color. has green eyes: CM Punk? LMAO has another colored eyes: Almost everyone I know has black eyes. is between the ages of zero and five: My youngest cousin is turning 6 in December, but until then, he is 5. is between the ages of six and ten: My cousin Sam is definitely in that age range, I’m just not so sure what the exact age is. is between the ages of eleven and fifteen: Gabie’s sister is 14, turning 15 this November. is between the ages of sixteen and twenty: My sister (18, turning 19), Gabie’s other sister (16), my old busmates Yanna (18) and Lex (17). is between the ages of twenty-one and thirty: Me and almost all of my friends. A bunch of us were born in 1998, making us 21 years old; a handful are 1-3 years older, like JM (22), Jum and Aya (23). is older than thirty: Other than my parents, my internship supervisor. Not sure how old she is but she’s definitely between 30-40. is a morning person: My mom. It drives me crazy when she wants to get soooo much stuff done within the day since I’m more of a night owl and like it’s just not my schedule lol. is a night person: Me, and just about everyone in UP. is employed: One of the more senior members in my org, Toby, has a job. is unemployed: Everyone else I go to college with. works at the same place as you: I don’t work yet. is single: Laurice. Although we’re counting on her to get a boyfriend before she graduates, so she still has around two years to go. :)) is in a relationship: Jo, who is seeing Aya. is engaged: I have a high school classmate who posted a status about her boyfriend proposing to her many months ago. She hasn’t said anything about it since then so I dunno if they broke it off or nah.

is married: Uh...my parents. is widowed/divorced: The mom of one of my childhood friends is widowed. Her husband died from cancer a few years ago when their daughter and I were in high school, if I remember right. is pregnant: My class adviser from senior year in high school. I know she’s in her 40s, so it was a really pleasant surprise when she announced her pregnancy. has kids: My dog, hahaha. has no kids: My friends in college. has brown hair: Agatha dyed her hair brown a while back. has blonde hair: Gabie had blonde tips until just recently. She had them cut off last week, so now she’s back to having black hair. has natural red hair: No one I know. has black hair: Aya. has their hair dyed an unnatural color: Everyone I know who has unnaturally-colored hair had it dyed, because Filipinos only have black hair unless they’re half-something. is good at singing: Hannah is a born superstar tbh. I know Ed and Laurice sing too. is good at dancing: Dianne. She’s a high school batchmate who was always the best dancer from our class. She’s a member of the Streetdance Club in my uni now. is good at drawing: Aya! She’s our go-to editorial cartoonist in the org. Angela too, and my sister. is good at painting: Gabie and her youngest sister. My sister’s really good too. She also has a classmate I follow on Twitter, and she’ll post her paintings from time to time, all of which are amazing. is good at acting: Gabie. She was president of the theatre club in high school. is good at writing: Me? Hahahaha gotta flex my own talent too :(( is good at guitar: Gabie’s younger sister. I swear those siblings have the most amazing set of talents. is good at piano: My cousin Luke has been playing the piano for as long as I can remember. His grandma (my great-aunt) also knows how to play and they have a grand piano in their house, so he must have picked it up from her. is good at drums: Denise, a classmate from high school. She was the drummer for my batch’s band. is good in another instrument: JM plays the violin. He’s still a rusty here and there, but can play a tune nonetheless. is athletic/sporty: Hans, Angela’s boyfriend. He plays basketball with his friends all the time. is into fitness and going to the gym: Gabie has a gym membership, but she’s not super obsessed with fitness. smokes cigarettes: Mik, an orgmate of mine. He has always extremely smelled like cigarettes the few times I’ve seen him and I honestly have to step away from him every time :/ smokes weed: I know Danika has had weed brownies. does shrooms: Not anyone I know in real life...I think. does other drugs: Can’t name anyone I know, buddy. drinks often: JM will have moods where he will buy a whole bottle of gin or whatever alcohol he’s feeling at the moment for himself and drink it all in his room, but he’s not an alcoholic hahahaha. doesn't drink: My eldest cousin from my mom’s side. His dad is a horrible alcoholic, so it’s understandable why he avoids it at all costs. doesn't do drugs [not even weed]: Me. is emo/goth/scene/alternative: I uhh...don’t know anyone who identifies as this since probably 2011 at the latest... is preppy/popular: KATE without a shadow of a damn doubt. doesn't fall in either of those stereotypes: Aya. has cats: My tita has multiple cats. It’s her business, but she also loves those cats to death and pampers them. has dogs: Gabie’s family has four dogs, but I only get to see Harley since the other three aren’t behaved all that well. JM has two dogs, Mika and Alley. has other animals: Michelle has a bird named Moonmoon, but I don’t know what kind of bird it is. A girl I used to be friends with in high school (she was from a different school) had a pet snake. has no pets: Jo. is vegan: @badsurveyshit! is vegetarian: Not sure if I know someone. Filipinos are obsessed with their meat. is on some other diet: The same tita with a bunch of cats is on a keto diet. has no diet/dietary restrictions: ME is lactose intolerant: Also me. But I still have milk and other dairy stuff because yum haha. has/had cancer: My great-aunt died from cancer. My old Filipino teacher had thyroid cancer, but she beat it. is bipolar: Edi, a friend of mine. is depressed: Me, I guess. plays videogames: My sister, my dad, my kuya, Gabie. loves to read: LAURICE. It’d be such a shame if I went with someone other than Laurice. got a GED: We don’t use that here. never graduated highschool: One of my friends’ mom. graduated college/got a degree: Both my parents, and all of my friends who graduated before me, e.g. Kate, Aya, Luisa, Jane. is or has been enrolled in beauty school: I don’t know anyone. makes YouTube videos: Ricel, my sister’s classmate from high school. She seems like such a sweet and nice person so when she started her channel a few weeks ago, I was more than happy to support her. is white: My uncle from New Zealand (unrelated; he married my mom’s cousin / my aunt). is black: I have a mutual friend from high school who’s half-black, half-brown. His dad, if I remember correctly, is from Nigeria. is Asian: Literally everyone I know!!!!!!!!!! is Hispanic: I don’t know anyone in real life but one of my favorite wrestlers, AJ, is Puerto Rican. is of another race: Everyone I follow on this Tumblr :)) is into photography: Reiven. likes rock: Rick, I think? The few times his earphones were blaring his music too loud it was always hard rock. likes metal: I dunno if I still know any metal fans nowadays. likes pop: Hannah. likes hiphop/rap/R&B: Hans. And all the other kids in uni who think they’re white. likes KPop: JM and Jum. likes country music: No one I know. likes jazz: Gabie and me. likes classical music: Sofie. When I was driving us to Batangas a few weeks ago for a beach getaway, she was in control of the car music and she briefly played stuff from her classical music playlist :(((( I was shookt at first but I liked the music anyway, so I didn’t tell her to change it. is a male: My dad. is a female: Me. is non-binary: Gabie’s editor from this website she’s a part of. is trans: Mac, from high school. He was formerly Maica, but he started going by Mac once he graduated. is straight: Laurice. is gay: Gabie. is bi: Patrice. lives on the eastern half of the USA: My Tito Rocky, who lives in New York. My Tito Raffy is also from New York. lives on the western half of the USA: Aubrey, Rielle, Norielle, Margeauxe. All originally from elementary/high school, but eventually migrated. lives in a different country: My Tita Pia and her husband, who is the one I listed under the “is white” portion of this survey. They live in Vietnam, but they used to live in New Zealand. is blind/visually impaired: I had a classmate from my History of Southeast Asia class who is legally blind. He has this device he puts on his eye to be able to read our professor’s slides. is deaf/hearing impaired: I don’t know anyone IRL. is in a wheelchair or disabled: One of my orgmates’ mom is in a wheelchair. is austitic/retarded/has learning disbilities: My Tita Bianca. is very thin: Aya. is overweight: Gabie is a few pounds overweight.

#survey #surveys

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theresnoturningback · 5 years

Text

Gone Fishin’ [PART 4]

A/N: And so we’ve come to the thrilling conclusion! It took me 22 days but I finally finished this fanfic. I am satisfied with my work, with the help I got along the way and the friends I’ve made as I wrote every chapter. I never thought I would go back to writing like this. I remembered my days at uni. Best four years of my life. I learned so much, I wrote so much and I loved life so much. Honestly, I have serious skin issues and as I wrote every chapter, I felt my skin being healed. This is not a metaphor or anything. My skin literally got clearer and smoother. The two weeks I spent away from my notebook, my skin condition came back aggresively... If I was looking for a sign to never stop writing, that’s it. I’m sorry I’m rambling about myself when ya’ll just want to read some Clouis fluff. I’ll leave you guys be. Word Count: 8274...ya’ll might wanna grab some snacks while you’re at it.

Clementine’s decisive feet led her away from the school quickly. Her trusty knife in her right hand just in case things got messier than they already were. She was alert and determined to be alone on her way there and back. The quiet steps behind her argued otherwise.

She wasn’t sure who was following her, she only knew it couldn’t be AJ for several reasons. Two of them being that his legs were still too short to keep up her pace and of course, she had made it pretty clear with her yelling earlier that she didn’t want him there. She reflected on the latter and made a mental note to apologize to the kid once she was back. He didn’t deserve to be yelled at for wanting to help her.

The person behind her had been silent so far. She figured that if she didn’t say anything, they would remain a mystery, but she was dying to know if it was Louis. Maybe there was still a chance to fix things and make them less awkward. She swallowed her pride and broke silence with an annoyed sigh.

‘I’m sure I said I wanted to do this alone’

She waited for a response and Aasim’s voice made her look back at him in surprise.

‘I know what you said, but I promised AJ I’d keep you safe’

She squinted at him, resenting the assumption that she needed his help for something so trivial.

‘I don’t need anyone to keep me safe. I’m perfectly fine on my own. It’s been like that for years an--’

An arrow flew close past her, interrupting her speech and making her blood freeze. She heard an agonizing groan and a thud a few feet away from her and realized Aasim had just saved her life.

‘I owed you that one. Now we’re even’ He gave her a smug grin accompanied by a raised eyebrow.

She breathed deepy, walked towards the corpse and retrieved the arrow.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be an asshole about it’ She returned the deadly weapon back to its owner.

‘It’s okay, Clem, I can see it hasn’t been a normal day for you’ He smiled comprehensively as they began walking side by side. She didn’t expect that response, that was not his usual inflexible and stern attitude. She wondered if his usual behavior was just a façade.

‘It’s been one crazy day’ She mumbled mindlessly.

‘Yeah, I can see that, too’ Aasim recalled that one time, not long ago, he and Louis had an unexpected little boy talk while hunting.

‘You do?’ Her confusion grew by the second

He nodded, always looking around and with his bow ready to shoot.

‘Yeah, Louis can be a bit of an idiot and sometimes he does and says shit that make things weird but he means well’

‘I never said this was about Louis’ She sentenced, frowning once more. Aasim now looked at her, taking offense in her innocent defense.

‘How stupid do you think I am, Clem?’ She glanced at him as he looked forward once again, resuming his explanation ‘It may not seem like that at times, but Louis and I are actually good friends, despite our obvious differences. I respect him and value him a lot as a person. We have deep conversations after dinner some evenings, when he’s not in the mood to play with his cards’

‘It’s not that I didn’t know you were friends. I just didn’t know you were so close’ She excused herself for not seeing it before.

‘I mean, there’s no way you could have known that until now, because you’ve only been here a couple of very intense weeks, but I hope it makes more sense now that it was me who delivered Louis’ letter to you that night, and why we share the music room to hide from the world...and also the fact that I’m walking next to you right now instead of any other person. He knew you needed space at that moment for whatever reason, but he wanted you to be safe as well. I didn’t promise AJ I’d keep you safe, only’

‘So...how close are you with Louis exactly?’ She dared to ask, letting him know immediately she wanted to know just how much information he had on her.

‘Close enough to know he has a ginormous crush on you’ He gracefully shot an arrow at a walker in the distance and turned his head to her to finish his sentence ‘And from what I’ve seen so far, I assume the feeling is mutual’

‘It’s a little more complicated than that...’ Clementine scratched her forehead, looking downwards, instantly regretting her question. Aasim approached the fallen monster, who was trying to crawl closer to them, and kicked him in the head. As he was busy taking a knife from his pocket to end the walker, another one made his way to the dirt road, limping hurriedly behind him.

‘Aasim, watch out!’ Clementine ran with difficulty in Louis’ coat, but made her way on time. She pushed the monster away and helped by her adrenaline rush, she drove her knife into his skull several times.

She stood up, panting and adjusting the coat

‘Thanks, Clem’ He managed to say breathlessly

‘Now you owe me again’ She helped him up and they continued their march towards the cabin.

‘So...things are complicated’ Aasim proposed the follow up with a rather hesitant voice. Clementine’s only response was a quiet tired sigh

‘I get it, too soon’

The skies were turning darker by the minute. They decided it was time to turn on Aasim’s flashlight.

‘Why don’t you tell me how you found out about Louis’ crush’ She suggested, trying to hide her conspicuous curiosity. He decided to play along.

‘I suspected it at first, but one day it slipped by him while we were arguing in the music room. He tried to brush it off and play it cool right after, but he was so flustered he couldn’t keep up with his lies and ended up talking about you for at least the following thirty minutes’

‘Seriously, thirty?’

‘Well, it stretched up to a little longer than an hour when he got comfortable. The day he wrote you the letter, he spent the whole afternoon at the piano with the piece of paper in front of him. After he finished writing, he wanted me to improve it, but I refused to read it. Whatever he wrote had to be a reflection of his own raw feelings for you. I didn’t want to ruin that with my own words’

Clementine didn’t say anything for a good five seconds, until Aasim shone the flashlight on her face, only to notice she was lost in thought and her face was bright red.

‘Knock it off, Aasim!’ She protested, dazzled by the blinding light

‘Sorry, sorry...hey, can you not tell Louis? I shouldn’t be telling you these things, but I wanted to cheer you up a little bit, since you’re having such a crazy day...’

Clementine’s eyes widened a little. It was refreshing to see Aasim trying to lighten up the mood. At times he resembled something similar to the older brother she never had.

The boy was trustful, but also good for a banter and they could learn from each other in a diverse amount of matters.

‘Thanks for your good intentions, but I might have oversimplified it when I mentioned my day was crazy before’

‘Well, duh…’ Clementine glanced at his friend ‘I don’t buy it’

‘What?’ She raised an eyebrow.

‘The story about the five walkers appearing out of nowhere and giving you trouble. I call bullshit on that’

‘We were attacked, that’s no bullshit’

‘Come on, you can easily deal with that amount of walkers. I’ve seen you fight together’ A hint of admiration decorated his words, to which Clementine scoffed modestly.

‘We had to run because we were outnumbered, what’s not to believe?’ She insisted, almost like a child

‘Shh, wait’ Aasim made her stop and pointed the flashlight at one side of the dirt road, suspicious of a couple of figures on the ground. Clementine remembered that spot. She had been there with Louis that very afternoon.

They took a couple of circumspect steps closer to the bodies. She recognized a familiar weapon at the distance and ran to pick it up.

‘Huh, only two walkers near Chairles. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?’ Aasim eyed at her with a sly smirk.

‘Alright, Mr. Detective. It wasn’t five walkers like we said before…but these two did get us by surprise’ She swung the leg chair idly as she looked at the smashed skull of the legless walker that threatened Louis’ life ‘We were...arguing’

Aasim’s playful expression faded slowly as Clementine showed more and more signs of being upset.

‘Clem, did Louis...do anything bad to you?’ Aasim’s halting words made her heart sink. ‘I mean, we joke that he’s an idiot but if he did something that he shouldn’t have done, then-’ She shook her head, trying to erase any mental images his assumption brought to her head.

‘Of course not! how could you even think that? he’s your friend!’

‘I’m sorry, it’s just, you know...you’re my friend too, and the world is so fucked up that you never know... ’ He quickly apologized as they started walking again. Clementine interrupted him once more.

‘He didn’t do anything wrong, he…I don’t think he would dare to do anything to hurt me…he has been so good to me and AJ and It would never cross my mind that he has second intentions’

‘I’m sorry for thinking about the possibility… I had to make sure’ he apologized once more. Clementine didn’t say a thing, so Aasim kept talking to avoid the much feared silence ‘But if you have real feelings for him, then I don’t know why you are so conflicted about…’

‘I never said I had feelings for him’ She tried to sound assertive but she stammered and instinctively hugged herself defensively, realizing once more it was Louis’ scent that didn’t let her think clearly.

‘So, I’m guessing the reason that you’re in his coat right now, and the reason he didn’t come for Chairles just to give you some space isn’t because you two shared a romantic moment alone in the woods and now that you’ve realized your true feelings about him, you don’t know what to do with your them’

‘Something like that…’ she didn’t want to admit that’s exactly how it went ‘How did you figure it out?’

‘I’ve been there…’ He mumbled. Clementine’s surprise and curiosity battled inside her mind

‘Wait, so you and Louis…?’

‘No! Oh, no..’ Aasim panicked ‘Nothing has ever happened with me and Louis, I can assure you that’

‘Because if it has, then I d--’

‘Nothing. Has. Happened’ He emphasized ‘Besides, he the only thing he talks about lately is you, so...there’s that’

She tried not to direct the conversation to her feelings again

‘So, who’s this person that made you feel things that you didn’t know how to handle?’ Aasim opened his mouth, hesitant at first.

He looked at her; she was smiling at him mischievously. She had had such a tiring day, he might as well amuse her with more of his life. He looked ahead as he confessed what was in his heart

‘Ruby’

‘That’s so sweet’ Her smile widened as she shifted her look from him to the road ‘You two would make a very cute couple’

‘Thanks’ Aasim managed to mutter. Clementine thought maybe he really could understand what she was going through. Her follow up question came out slow and cautiously, testing the waters of their new growing friendship.

‘So have you two...kissed?’

He shook his head

‘I have only thought about it, but I’ve never actually dared to do it’ He admitted bashfully after some seconds.

‘Huh…’ Her soft smile slowly turned into a pensive frown. Maybe if she hadn’t dared like she did, things wouldn’t be so complicated between her and Louis.

‘So, there’s still some things that don’t match in your story’ Aasim’s observation burst her bubble

‘Hmm?’

‘Did you guys kiss back there where the two walkers were or at the cabin, while fishing? Both places seem plausible for such scenario...‘

‘What makes you think we kissed, we haven’t kissed…’ She blurted out her words almost violently, giving Aasim even more reason to maintain his theory on the matter. Unwillingly, her tone rose up considerably, like when she tried to convince Javi she and Gabe didn’t like each other, to no avail. Her voice tended to betray her like that at the most crucial times.

‘I could tell from his expression back then...something new happened to him, and since you both spent the whole afternoon together, it was safe to assume that you kissed’ Clementine raised an eyebrow skeptically ‘Also you just mentioned kissing, and judging by the way you phrased it, it must have been on your mind before this conversation.

‘How’s kissing something new to Louis? Not that we did kiss but... I’m curious’ It sure didn’t feel like Louis didn’t know what he was doing. There’s no way that was his very first kiss, she thought

‘He’s never kissed anyone’ Aasim confirmed ‘well, except for that one only time we played spin the bottle years ago, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the same experience’ He nudged her playfully, she shook her head, annoyed, but told herself to remember to ask him for that anecdote later. She had a more urgent question to ask.

‘His expression...what was it like?’ She gripped Chairles as Aasim answered.

‘I’ve only seen that face once; years ago, during a hunting trip...it was fear. Fear for the loss of a loved one. He was afraid he might lose you forever if nobody helped you’

‘What hunting trip, what happened?’

‘I’m really not the one to tell you that story…but it’s not a pretty one’ He mumbled grimly.

Clementine fell silent, letting his friend’s words sink in her mind. One of the things Louis told her right after their kiss was that he had nothing to lose. In which moment did he realize he was afraid of losing her? Who did he lose years ago?

She knew how cornered and confused she felt when Louis began questioning her reasons not to pursue a relationship with him, so she decided to let him tell her his life stories at his own pace.

‘Well, we’re here...’ Aasim stopped and pointed the flashlight around.

‘There’s no suspicious sounds or movements’ Clementine observed, following the light.

‘Don’t let your guard down’ He warned

She responded with a nod and walked closer to the abandoned spears, only then she remembered she had carelessly tossed hers at one moment. Aasim, on the other hand was content that they had enough food for the following day

‘Nice job, Clem…’ He cheered , taking a closer look at the bucket ‘How did you manage to catch all these fish?’

‘Louis helped a lot’ She shrugged

‘Really? He must be very invested in fishing’ He joked, but his friend was not amused ‘I’m sorry’

‘I didn’t want to scare him, you know...’ She fidgeted as Aasim cocked his head slightly to the side, listening attentively ‘I just think I felt an overload of thoughts and sensations I’ve never felt before and didn’t know what to do with myself, that’s why I ran back to the school, like a coward. If I knew things would get this complicated, I wouldn’t have kissed him in the first place’

‘That’s strange’ He chuckled, to Clementine’s surprise. He helped her put the tools back in the cabin ‘All this time I thought Louis was the one that kissed you, not the other way around’

She couldn’t help but chuckle along, recalling the few weird seconds Louis spent looking at her before she dared made a move.

‘He froze’

Aasim couldn’t believe her words. Louis, the usually charming, easy going dude that literally never shut up, froze before Clementine. He’d pay a big sum of money just to travel back in time and space and witness that.

‘Really?’

She nodded, amused.

‘But like I said, after we kissed, everything changed’ Her smiled slowly turned into a worried smirk ‘I never imagined I could feel the way I felt at that moment’

She felt her cheeks go warmer once more at her declaration.

They walked out the cabin and closed the door. As Clementine walked down the steps, she remembered there was one thing she hadn’t found yet.

She snatched the flashlight from Aasim’s hands and ran to the last place she remembered she saw her hat.

She found it a few steps far from the riverside, probably blown by the wind, but still dirty and forgotten. She ran towards the worn out accessory, picked it up, shook it a few times to remove the dust.

‘I see you got your priorities straight’ Aasim walked closer to her, with the bucket full of fish in his left hand.

‘Shut up’ She laughed as she put it on, exchanged Aasim’s flashlight for Chairles and then began their walk back to the school.

‘There must be an interesting story behind that old thing’ he suggested. She knew by now he loved a good a story.

‘This old thing keeps me sane. It helps me remember all the important lessons I’ve learned over the years since I was a little kid’

‘It’s cool to realize how some ordinary objects hold so much emotional power over us. Like your hat, it looks like any other baseball hat to me, but of course to you it means so much more’

Clementine nodded agreeingly

‘My dad gave it to me before the world changed forever’ She paused to rethink her words ‘Well, he didn’t actually give it to me, but it’s the only thing that belonged to him that I still have with me. The only thing that reminds me of my parents the way they used to look like...and not the way I last saw them. This hat has traveled the same amount of miles, seen the same horrible things, and people I loved risked their lives for it when it got lost’

‘Well, fuck’ Aasim sighed, overwhelmed

‘Yeah, how’s that for a book?’

‘You know, that’s actually not a bad idea...!’ He glanced at her, actually considering it

‘I was joking, Aasim’ She shook her head, regretting that she indulged him with stories that were yet to be told. It was too late, he was already scheming and drafting in his mind.

‘I mean, you have all kinds of anecdotes, right? You have been on the road for years and visited places we have never seen before. We should sit down and try to write a couple of paragraphs. Personally, it helps. I always feel at ease once I finish writing my day. Maybe it would do you well, too. Give it a chance, if you don’t like it, then you can stop anytime’

‘You know what, it could work’ She mumbled, almost lost in her own thoughts.

There were moments she would like to treasure forever; like the day she met Lee, and saved him from her babysitter, all the things she learned from him along the way and all the people she met during the few months they spent as a family; especially Kenny, Katjaa and their son Duck.

She often found herself daydreaming about what Duck would look like, and how he would be like if he had never been bitten. Maybe if she put those thoughts into written words, then she would stop thinking so much about it.

She would love to tell AJ’s story, from how she met his parents to the present day, with all the details in between, including all the people who help them get to where they were now. She wouldn’t dare to leave out the first time he cried in Kenny’s arms. He had such powerful lungs for someone so little. She wouldn’t forget to write about the first time he fussed in her arms, either; no matter how many times she had told him that story already. Every time she’d finished saying ‘and in that moment, I realized how special you were to me and I’d love you forever, no matter what.’ She could tell that was AJ’s favorite bit. She was sure Javi would have loved teaching him to play baseball, and AJ would have loved to play baseball with him. And while Gabe wasn’t around anymore, she wanted to tell the little boy about Javi’s dorky nephew who taught her the obscure rules of Euchre. The book would make a nice birthday present for him, and he would use the blank pages to write or doodle whatever he wanted.

Of course, not all of her memories were pleasant. Actually, most of them were just the opposite.

Their adventures with the New Frontier and then the McCarroll ranch and all the nightmares that came with them would make up a horror book on its own. Honestly, she had something to fit almost every genre.

Aasim’s voice sounded in the background but she couldn’t distinguish any words.

‘Huh, what did you say?’

‘I said that you need to fix your dilemma with Louis first’ His tone changed into a stern one in half a second ‘I don’t want to see him suffer, Clem, so before you talk to him, you need to know exactly what you want’

‘Ok...’ Her mood dropped along with his voice.

‘Besides, you can’t write with a head full of confusion, so right after you solve your mess with him and you lovebirds finally get together, we get down to business. Literary business, that is’ He offered her half a smile, just to let her know it wasn’t his intention for his last words to come out mean or aggressive.

Suddenly, a wind blow from the south breathed through the dirt road, producing a shiver that took her already algid body by surprise.

‘We better hurry. You must be freezing’ Aasim observed with concern. She nodded, tightening her fingers around Chairles as an instinctive response to the cold air against her skin. She clenched her jaw as an effort to stop her teeth from chattering, but it was futile.

They hurried their steps and kept silent for some minutes.

‘We can’t get together, because I don’t like him’ She muttered softly. She tried to convince herself of the last statement by repeating it over and over in the form of a whisper, like a mantra she knew was a complete lie

‘Why deny it? The world already ended. It’s not like something worse is going to happen right after you realized you have feelings for him’

‘I have been on the road enough time to know that something terrible will happen if I let my emotions drive my actions. It’s not that I don’t like him...but I can’t. You wouldn’t get it…’

‘I know I have lived pretty much my entire life sheltered and I can’t possibly imagine all you have gone through, but I also know that staying true to your feelings is not the same as letting your emotions control every aspect of your life’

‘Yeah, maybe you’re right’ She was the one to offer him a weak apologetic smile now ‘That was nice advice, thanks’

They walked a little longer until Aasim heard the rattling of leaves behind them. He pointed the light to the source of the noise, only to find three walkers slowly limping their way out of the woods and into the road.

‘Hold this, point it at them’ He gave her the flashlight, put down the bucket and readied his bow to get rid of the incoming menace.

He was too focused shooting to notice a fourth walker approaching them from the opposite direction. He was mostly flesh and bones, but he was quicker than the rest

Clementine planted the flashlight in the ground for Aasim and ran to the stray walker, knocking him over with a strike of Chairles at the chest. Once down, she crushed his skull by beating him repeatedly with the wooden weapon.

‘Need any help?’ She rushed to his friend, ready to attack but he was already retrieving the three arrows he had used to get rid of the walkers. She stood in earnest admiration ‘You...decked three walkers by yourself…just like that?’ He turned to face her and gave her a tired smile in the middle of the duskiness.

You didn’t know I had it in me, did you?’

‘I’m actually really impressed’ They laughed, picked up the flashlight, the bucket and continued making their way to the school.

They walked for a while until they finally spotted the first traps hanging from the trees, welcoming them to the school surroundings.

‘We’re almost there, just a little further’ Aasim announced ‘Please, remember what I told you about Louis...and remember not to disclose anything I told you...’

‘You have given me a lot to think about, Aasim...and of course I won’t say a word to anyone about your little crush on Ruby

‘You just mentioned it’

‘I mean, starting now’

‘Just remember, Louis is an outstanding person when he wants to be, although he prefers to act stupid at times...and I think the same of you’

Clem raises an eyebrow

‘You think I am stupid?’

‘I think you choose to act stupid’ Clem shook her head, letting him know that wasn’t making it any better ‘...not always, though’ he added quickly ‘I’m just saying, you seem to love drowning in a glass of water’

‘I don’t think you can say that to me when you can’t even bring yourself to tell Ruby how you feel’

‘Can you please stop mentioning her? This is about you!’

‘Fine, fine…’

‘Look. You’ll know what to do. You’re a smart person and the music room will be always open for you to come and write your tales of horror, or whatever it is you want out of your mind’

‘I thought I had to tell you and you would write’

‘If I did that, I wouldn’t be helping you, now would I?’ He shook his head ‘No, if you want, I could read what you write and give you notes on what to improve. The mood of each story needs to be drenched in your own experiences and nobody can do that for you’

‘Thank you, for everything’ She gave him a warm, sincere smile, which he returned spontaneously.

Soon after, they found themselves in the clear, amongst the traps. In the distance, Aasim could see Mitch and Violet, probably keeping the area free of walkers until they arrive. He signaled them with the flashlight and they were met halfway.

‘You made it back’ Violet told Clementine, relieved.

‘We had some encounters, but it’s all good’ She answered, walking next to her

‘How did it go?’ Mitch asked. Aasim gave him the bucket of fish in response.

‘We’ll have a good dinner’ He smiled. Violet and Mitch shared a look

‘Everyone else ate already’ Violet told them

‘Well, not really everyone…’ Mitch added ‘Violet and I had dinner before coming here, but Louis and AJ refused to eat until you guys showed up’

Aasim glanced over at Clementine but she didn’t look back at him.

When they arrived at the gates, Clementine heard her name from above, but she couldn’t see anyone standing in the watchtower, she could only distinguished two different silhouettes moving in the dark.

AJ went down the ladder as fast as a bullet, eager to greet the girl. As soon as they crossed the gate, he tackled her and she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug as the rest of the teenagers gathered around Omar to ask for their share of food, complaining to Aasim about how long it took him and Clem to get back. The kid made their embrace last long enough to worry Clementine. He didn’t want to let go and she knew exactly what she did for him to act that way.

‘I’m sorry I yelled at you before’ She apologized gently ‘It wasn’t your fault’

‘I’m glad you’re back. Are you... safe?’

‘No bites’ She assured him smiling, and nodded the group ‘Aasim helped me get back fast’

‘Not fast enough…’ He mumbled almost bitterly ‘But I’m happy he helped you’

They stood up and walked closer to the benches

‘He’s great! He had already killed three walkers by the time I finished fighting just one with Louis’ chair leg’

‘Chairles’ AJ corrected, Clementine rolled her eyes, amused.

‘Right, right... Chairles. This thing is heavy and hard to use...But you should have seen Aasim with his bow’

‘I could have, but you didn’t let me’

‘Come on, kiddo, I apologized’

‘Yeah’ He laughed ‘But I’ll rub it in your face whenever I get the chance’

‘Oh really…? Then I’ll make sure that the tickle monster visits you every time you bring it up’

‘You know what? Nevermind’ AJ sat in one of the benches, apart from the rest. He wanted to eat with Clementine alone, and she was well aware of it, from the length of their hug back at the gates.

‘Don’t sit down just yet, go get our plates, I have to give this back to his owner’ She pointed at Chairles.

‘But I just sat…’ AJ grumbled under his breath..

‘Come on, I’m tired too’ She noticed him trying his best to hold back his attitude.

‘Okay’ He finally sighed, standing up again.

As he walked closer to the older kids, Clementine approached Louis with caution. He was sitting at a different table, eating alone.

‘Hey’ She greeted softly. As soon as he looked up at her, she looked down at her hands.

‘Hey’ He smiled, despite her evasive eyes ‘It was about time you guys showed up’

She put Chairles on the table.

‘I… brought it back’ He moved his eyes from the weapon to her uneasy stance. He noticed she was still wearing his coat, but didn’t mention it. She looked adorable like that, and as far as he was concerned, that was the opposite of a problem. Besides, she probably still needed it more than him.

‘Thanks, Clem…’ He breathed his words of gratefulness as he reached for her fingertips as a subtle reminder of his unchanging feelings towards her.

As soon as she felt his hand touching hers, her heart fluttered and she took a step back.

‘You’re welcome. I have to go’ She turned around as quickly as she spoke. He didn’t care, because he knew that deep down she felt the same.

‘I’ll see ya around’ He raised his voice to be heard in the increasing distance. Her answer was a look back and a vague waving of her hand. He was enraptured by her whole existence and the way she tried to act around him now, like they never lived all those meaningful moments in such a short amount of time.

‘Welcome back’ AJ smiled while scraping the sides of his bowl with a spoon ‘You took your time, I almost ate your food’ Clementine sat down in front of the boy, taking in the whole scene with raised eyebrows.

‘AJ! You didn’t wait for me? You ate all your food already...and I was gone for two minutes!’

‘I was hungry’ He protested, pouting ‘...I still am’

‘I know, I know…’ She had to remind herself to use her kind words.

‘I’m sorry, Clem’ He insisted, looking at her with his big eyes. She couldn’t resist his puppy eyes, and finally smiled at him.

‘AJ…‘ She began ‘About what happened today...I wasn’t mad at you at all, I was just…’

‘Don’t worry Clem, I know what happened’

‘You do?’ She froze with the spoon midway to her mouth

‘Yeah, Louis told me everything’

‘He did? Everything?’

AJ nodded enthusiastically. She panicked inside. How could Louis do such a thing?

‘Yeah, he told me he had to save you from a river shark after you fell into the river while fighting against five walkers that attacked you while you were fishing and that’s why you were cranky’

Of all the things that happened that day, that was the only sentence she didn’t expect to hear.

‘Excuse me AJ, I wasn’t listening...did you just say a shark?’

‘Yeah, he told me the whole name, even... but I can’t remember...it was uh, a great white river shark, I think, I’m not sure’ He explained as she glanced back at Louis, who was now accompanied by Aasim.

‘Yes, that’s exactly what happened’ She sentenced, focusing her attention back to her meal and hoping AJ wouldn’t ask further questions.

‘It was a very hard day for you’ He observed sympathetically

‘It kinda was…’ She agreed with a faint smile ‘How was your day, what did you do while I was gone?’

‘I spent the whole evening with Louis. He was walking around and I saw him while I was on lookout duty, I said hi to him and he offered to keep me company. It was nice, we talked about a lot of things’

‘I’m glad you had fun, kiddo’

AJ waited for her to finish her food. As soon as she stood up to clean, he took the bowls from her

‘Let me, you are more tired’ He ran away to wash the dishes before she could even answer.

She sat down again, unable to hide her surprise. She looked back at the boys at the next table. Aasim was finishing his food and Louis was tweaking and cleaning Chairles. They didn’t seem to be talking about anything in particular. She prayed they weren’t talking about her.

As she turned her head, she saw AJ running back to her

‘What do you want to do now?’ She told him, ready to indulge him with a whole hour of doodling if he wanted.

‘I want to go to bed. I’m beat…’ He admitted.

‘Oh, then...in that case, let’s go’

They started walking back to the dorms. AJ took her hand, taking her by surprise once again. She tightened her hand around his, as a way to reassure him everything was alright.

Clementine opened the big door to their room and AJ ran straight to his bed.

‘Clem…’

‘Yes, AJ?’ She sat down beside the little boy, already knowing what he was going to request.

‘Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?’

‘Of course...what will it be tonight? A story or a song?’ She asked as she cuddled him in a motherly fashion.

‘I just want you to be here…You don’t need to do or say anything’

She caressed his cheeks with the back of her hand, deeply endeared by his words

‘I’m here now’ She said softly as she watched him close his eyes.

The room felt enormous when it was pitch black and silent, but the warmth that they gave to each other gave them a sense of safety and hope for the future.

‘Clem…?’

His quiet call caught her dozing off

‘Hm?’

‘I was afraid today’ She held her breath ‘I wasn’t there to make sure you came back. I thought you...I wouldn’t know what to do if you died...’

‘Hush, now’ Her voice lowered as soon as she heard herself in his voice ‘You know exactly what to do if something bad happens to me and I’ve prepared you to go on without me eventually. We’ve discussed this a thousand times’ His upset silence let her know once more what his opinion on her backup plan was ‘I know it’s not a pleasant conversation to have, but I need to be sure you’ll know what to do in every possible scenario, starting with the possibility of us separating again, maybe forever’

‘I guess…’

‘Alvin Junior…’ She warned

‘I know, Clem, I know…’ He huffed, turning on the bed to face the wall

Clementine sighed and tried to choose her next words more carefully to avoid upsetting the boy even more, but before she could even open her mouth to answer, he broke silence once more.

‘Can we stop talking about this, please?’ His lips quivered as he spoke, fighting back honest tears of embarrassment ‘I just wanted to let you know how I felt about you leaving...’

She felt him sniffle and cry silent tears in the dark. Her first reaction was to hold him tight to comfort him just like she used to do when he was just a small baby in the midst of the constantly decaying world.

‘I’m sorry…’ She kissed the back of his head ‘It won’t happen again’

‘I love you Clem’ He wiped away his tears, regaining control of himself.

‘I love you back’ She whispered her usual response ‘Try and rest…’

He remained silent for several minutes, lost in his many grim thoughts and the secretes he shared with Louis in Clementine’s absence.

‘You smell funny’ He yawned before finally giving in to his exhaustion.

‘Well, that’s a weird way to end an argument…’ She muttered to the already sleeping boy.

She closed her eyes for several minutes, basking in the unusual peace that the silence brought along with the deep darkness of the night. She waited to fall asleep, but some thoughts were still running wild inside her mind. She made sure AJ was fast asleep and sat up on the bed to make a final reflection on everything lived during the day. She looked down at herself and immediately remembered she was wearing a certain piece of clothing that didn’t belong to her; the only thing that AJ clearly couldn’t recognize as hers.

She held the lapels, brought them closer to her face and inhaled. It did smell funny. A mixture of smoke and the usual mustiness that was ever present in old clothes. Years of having to change her attire due to her constantly developing body had made her grow accustomed of that smell. However, there was one distinctive scent she couldn’t quite recognize; it was slightly citric, but also had a slight hint of spices; a rare combination for such an old coat. Not that she complained. It‘s very Louis, she thought, breathing in again, recalling every pleasant memory she had with him.

She looked over at AJ, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to leave him for a couple of minutes to return the borrowed garment.

She lit the candle and made her way out of the room quietly, trying not to bump into anything in the half dark space.

She carefully closed the sturdy door and made her way to Louis’ room, thinking over and over about all the pros and cons that came along as consequences of her actions. Every step she walked closer to him, she convinced herself it was a good idea to leave her deeply rooted fears behind, stop acting like a feeble kid and let new adventures find them as the strong team she knew they were.

She stopped in front of a big wooden door, hoping it was the correct one.

She didn’t knock. Instead, she opened the door slightly and slided in as quietly as she could. She walked closer, making sure he was alone.

The room was a complete mess, at least as far as she could see. She looked for him in the darkness and found him sleeping sprawled on one of the beds with his face buried in the pillows. Smiling at the scene, she stepped closer, but tripped over Chairles, making Louis jolt awake.

‘Huh, wha-who’s there?’ He tried to look around with his eyes still half closed.

‘Shh, don’t yell…’ She whispered, leaving the candle on his desk ‘It’s me, Clementine’

‘Clem!’

In his state between dream and reality, he tried to stand up without stepping out of the bunk bed and hit himself in the head with the frame.

The sound of his forehead hitting the metal structure made Clementine cringe and rush next to him

‘Ah, fuck fuck fuck…’ He swore, curling up in pain with his eyes shut close as he pressed his hands against his forehead.

‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…let me see’ She climbed on the bed to move his hands away and press her fingers against his now tender forehead, trying to measure the damage taken.

‘Ow, ow...careful…’

‘That’s going to look really ugly if we don’t apply cold right now’ She observed.

‘Don’t worry I’m going to look like a unicorn no matter what…it’s not the first time this happens, but it always hurts’ He said, sitting up again to face her

‘What do you mean it’s not the first time it happens?’

He shrugged, making her glance at his freckled shoulders. She thought her day was already done with these little surprises, but she was clearly wrong.

‘I’m a light sleeper, it actually happens more often that I’d like to admit’

‘You sleep shirtless…’ She looked away, notoriously blushing

‘What?’ He looked down at himself ‘Oh…yeah, I do’ He reached over and grabbed the tattered shirt that was sitting next to his pillow

‘I’m sorry I came here so late’ She apologized without taking her eyes off the flickering candle

‘Time is never a problem when it comes to you’ He said, trying to sound smooth as he struggled to slide into his clothes in the dark.

She giggled, no longer being able to pretend she wasn’t fascinated by his sleepy voice or his shoulders specked with freckles all over.

‘I’m here to give you back this old thing’ She stood up, took off the old coat and handed it over to Louis ‘By the way, it’s super hard to run in it’

‘That’s because it’s not made for tiny girls’

‘You’re the worst’ She laughed

He looked down at it, then back at her and without taking her gaze off of her, he threw it behind him

‘Thank you’ He smiled, well aware she wasn’t there just for that. He stood up in front of her ‘I see you have your hat back, too’

‘I do, how perceptive of you’

Louis took it off of her and put it on his head. She didn’t protest. She wore his stupid coat the whole day, it was only fair to let him try the hat on for a couple of minutes, at least.

‘How do I look?’ He smiled

‘I like your hair up, better than trapped in a hat’ She admitted, taking the old accessory off of him and tossing it over his coat.

He appreciated her tender honesty, smiling at her.

‘Well, I have my coat back, you have your hat back...is there anything else to be said between us?’

Clementine crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him.

‘OK, fine...I think there are still some unsaid things since this afternoon’

‘I agree’ He smiled triumphantly ‘So...what’s going on in that head of yours?’

Clementine gulped and sighed, trying to remain as calm as she could.

‘I think I’m ready to face my fears head on…’

‘My darling Clem...I’m concussed and I just woke up…’ He faked a frown ‘Can you be a little more clear?’

She closed her eyes, this time to gather some patience. She knew he had understood her well.

‘What I’m trying to say is that I want to give us a chance’

His face lit up but still played along

‘But when you say give us a chance, you mean…?’

She rolled her eyes and leaned over to kiss him. He breathed in through his nose at the surprisingly warm touch of her lips. As she pulled back, she could see him looking at her with joyful beaming eyes. He held her hand in his and this time she didn’t back away. Instead, she let him lead her beside him. She studied him longingly as she put one of his dreadlocks behind his ear and cupped his cheek ever so gently, just like he did to her back at the river. He closed his eyes as she ran a single finger across his freckles, tracing the form of his nose and his eyebrows.

He opened his eyes again and to his amusement, he found her lost in his features. ‘You’re so beautiful…’ She whispered as he pulled her closer and brushed his mouth against her lower lip.

‘Right back at ya’ He smiled against her skin, receiving her soft pecks across his jaw line.

It was nice to feel cherished that way, with just the right amount of passion, alone and away from the crumbling world.

She put her head on his shoulder and sighed against his neck, giving him goosebumps all over.

‘I have to go back…’ She murmured glumly

‘What’s your rush, Cinderella?’ He hummed while running his fingers through her hair‘It’s not midnight, yet’

‘It’s way past midnight and,besides... promised AJ I’d be there’

‘Well, he is asleep, right?’

‘He’s actually a very light sleeper...Just like you’

‘Come on, Clem…’ He pleaded softly, kissing the corner of her mouth ‘Stay a little longer?’

‘I’m sorry…If you want, you can come over and keep me company while I watch over him’ She stood up and took the candle from the desk. He rested his back on the wall, considering her offer.

Just as she turned around, the door opened.

‘Hi, Louis...I can’t find Clem...have you seen her?’ AJ peeked over, but they could only identify his worried voice

‘Hey, little dude…’ He waved, smiling kindly at the boy like he always did..

‘I’m here, kiddo’ Clementine put the candle back on the desk and sat on the bed in the same position as Louis, patting the space between them, as an invitation to join them.

‘Clem! I woke up and you weren’t there’ He frowned as he climbed on and sat in between Louis and her ‘You promised me you wouldn’t leave again’

‘Funny how she never stays in one place, huh…’ Louis eyed her over the little boy, making her shake her head. AJ welcomed the joke with a small chortle.

‘Sorry, goofball…I wanted to return Louis’ coat, since you complained that it smelled funny’

‘Hey, I resent that’ He nudged at the kid, playfully.

‘I for one, think it doesn’t smell as bad as it looks, but buddy here confessed he didn’t like it just as he was falling asleep’

‘I don’t remember doing that’ AJ crossed his arms

‘The funny smell could be a perfume I found years ago in the headmaster’s office. I liked how it smelled, so I kept it...and I wear it..you know, in rare occasions. It makes me feel good about myself’ He confessed ‘Don’t tell anyone though...if anyone found out, I’d have to kick you out in a second, and I don’t any of us would like that very much’

The three of them laughed at the slim possibility of that ever happening.

‘I think you’d miss us too much, and would go look for us right after’

‘And I’d have to save you from hordes of walkers’

‘Yeah, right, you saving me...’

AJ didn’t understood at all the small banter between them, but wanted to contribute to the conversation as well

‘Like when he saved you from the five walkers and the great white river shark, remember, Clem? He interjected enthusiastically.

‘You saved me from the shark and all of the walkers…? I actually forgot about that!’ She spout sarcastically with her eyes fixed on his.

He shrugged apologetically as AJ kept on talking

‘That’s maybe because you’re too tired Clem, we should go back to sleep’ He got down the bed and held the girl’s hand.

‘You’re right, AJ’ She reached for her hat and followed him ‘Maybe a little rest will make my memory better’

‘Wait, guys’ Louis stopped them on their way out ‘Do you wanna crash here for the night?’

‘Really, we can stay here?’ AJ’s smiled bloomed instantly as he looked at Clementine. He made little to no effort to hide his admiration towards the freckled young man.

‘Sure you can, little dude! Climb aboard!’

The boy ran back to the bed and lay down, already closing his eyes to sleep. Louis laid his jacket over AJ before looking up at his beloved girl.

‘What say you, Queen Clementine?’ He acted out with his arm extended to her as AJ encouraged him with another small giggle ‘Are you in?’

‘Okay…’ She blew out the small light of the candle ‘If it makes him so happy to waste his time with you…’ She took his hand and lay down next to AJ.

‘Some might say he’s not the only one who likes to waste his time with me’ He lovingly interlocked his fingers with hers into a relaxed lace, cuddling the boy as he peacefully drifted into the land of dreams. They stared into each other’s eyes, under the poor lighting offered by the growing moon through the semi boarded window. Clementine was the second to fall asleep, soon after AJ.

Louis remained awake as long as his body allowed him, wondering what he did to get such incredible company that night. That was the best the three of them had slept in months.

#twdg s4 #louisentine #clouis #twdg fanfiction #look ma I'm writing

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taeguboi · 6 years

Text

MOVING ON PART 2: Jungkook x Reader angst

After a few requests to continue my MOVING ON Jungkook angst, it’s finally here! It doesn’t quite explain everything you askers requested but I can promise that I will be writing beyond a part 2!

'Tonight is the night to make a fresh start’.

You repeat this phrase in your mind until it becomes convincing to you. Your reason for this repetition is partly to block out those flashbacks that keep wanting to come to you and partly because those thoughts are working; you should have exited the shower room about 5 minutes ago but instead you’ve held back to stare into a foggy mirror.

[Flashback - yours]

It was a Friday night and a night out was well overdue. University was over and everyone had mutually agreed about their fears of losing touch, so it was decided that yourself, Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin would meet up, even if only for a few drinks.

The work day had proven long and daunting for Jungkook by the sounds of things over the phone, so you understood when he said he wasn’t really feeling up for coming out, or at least he didn’t want to come out straight away before a well deserved nap.

Yes, it was a great shame that a night out for four turned into three, but it was always relaxing to be around your friends Jimin and Taehyung; people who you certainly would never have met or interacted with from the uni if it wasn’t for your wonderful fiance Jungkook. In fact, you all became friends at an amazingly fast rate, having gone out all together for the first time just a week after your bumping in with Jungkook in your earlier days at the university.

But life was great. You were getting by just fine as part of your new little family you had began to build with Jungkook having recently bought your first pet together. It was still possible to live out the nice little luxuries of life such as drinking out and it was mostly possible to have those quiet nights in that yourself and Jungkook had always appreciated after those long period of social and study based lifestyles through your final educational years. It was great having someone to live for and do life with.

“I just wish he was here right now” you sighed, having a sip from your prosecco glass.

“You know he’s only doing all of this hard work because he loves you, don’t you y/n?” Jimin asked, seeming to feel the need to accentuate what he knew Jungkook’s motives were for not being around tonight.

“Of course!” you exclaimed, the tiniest bit offended that Jimin might be implying that you were oblivious to Jungkook’s kind and hardworking nature. “I think it just takes some getting used to sometimes, when we’re apart in the evenings” you nervously chuckled, knowing how attached you were probably seeming to be.

“Ah, seriously y/n! It ain’t the end of the world!” Taehyung joked. “Are we not enough fun for you anymore?”

“Probably not because neither of us fuck her or take her out on dates” Jimin jested in response, clearly working off from Taehyung’s energy.

“Guys!” you exclaimed. “That’s not just it!” you argued. “There’s way more to what we have than just fucking and eating… Well, it’s a good portion of it, but…”

“Yeah yeah we get it, our friend is better than us” Jimin dramatically sighed, continuing with the light nature of conversation.

“I didn’t say that… unless there’s nothing more to you than eating and fucking, huh Chim?” you joked, finally taking the conversation less seriously.

“Ah… I know he’s doing all of this for us, but… I’m just worried he’s going to let that consume him and not have any fun with it…” you sighed.

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it too much y/n.” Jimin tried to reassure you. “Anytime soon, you guys can be that one couple that hosts classy dinner parties for us instead, huh?”

[End of flashback]

“What was I thinking? I shouldn’t’ve come back Jimin... “ Jungkook moans, rolling his head in his hands and aggressively ruffling his hair as the two boys still stand in the cold dark rain.

“Surely something inside of you must have wanted to come back after all these years though, right?” Jimin replies, trying his best to convince Jungkook that this isn’t the worst idea in the world.

“But look, we’ve clearly got this down at the wrong time… a really fucking wrong time!... Why did I think your stupid idea was so great anyway? I… UGH!”

Jungkook just cannot help but begin to release all of his pent up anger and frustration about the recent events of the evening, but he soon calms down a little, because he knows.

He knows that this was all his fault.

“Dude, seriously, you were telling me how much you missed home, and how much you missed me and Tae… how you missed y/n…”

“I know!... I know what I said… but coming back here has made me realize.” sighs Jungkook. “This isn’t really my home anyway, is it? This is just the town I lived my student days in. It’s not my home, Busan is… I’m going back.”

“What?! No!”

“What’s the point?... And WHY did I think she’d just forgive me like that? Let alone talk to me? She was hardly gonna just come running into my arms, was she?? I’m deluded! I’ve been deluded about this whole fucking idea!”

Jimin watches Jungkook furiously and restlessly pace the town center and it just irritates the elder, so he swiftly goes over to his younger friend to stop him in his tracks, taking a firm hold of the leather collar of Jungkook’s jacket, pulling the two in face to face.

“Look man, pull yourself together and fucking fight for what you claim you want back so badly.”

You know you need to stop crying. But you just can’t help but let a tear escape every now and then even as you’re managing to calm your nerves. As if moving on from your past hasn’t been hard enough… this reminder of it just takes you loads of steps backwards in your healing from your dysfunctional relationship with Jungkook.

[Flashback]

It was a beautiful day and Jungkook had taken you to a beautiful field to compliment the mood of the day. The sun was scorching - a great excuse to wear your new favourite dress. Every flower you took a look at seemed perfect - all in bloom and not a single one dying. Life was perfect - and you had the perfect boyfriend to go with it… okay, he was the reason your life felt perfect.

Running up some, what then seemed random, hill, you felt short of breath as Jungkook made you follow him to a solitary tree he had spotted in the distance.

“Come on honey!” he shouted from a distance, quite ahead of you.

“I can’t do this!” you panted.

He raced back down the hill making you wonder where he got the energy from. It was afternoon and you knew he had already been to the gym that morning for an extended work out… how did he do it?

He took your hand to encourage you to make the journey

“Yes you can do this! Now come on!”

Jungkook practically dragged you up that hill, forcing your littler legs to catch up with him so he didn’t tear your arm off. Your chest was hurting and your legs were weak… but there was something in the idea of reaching that peak.

Before you knew it, you were at the top. You guessed you were a bit silly for complaining about this so much in your head for the past, probably only, a minute or two… and the trek was definitely worth it.

“City view” he panted. “I’ve been wanting to do this forever”

You took a seat to rest next to Jungkook’s feet and following suit, he parked himself on the grass beneath that tree also. You distinctly remember the shade of green that the leaves were. You remember how the air smelled. The buildings you could see. The time of day. Everything. You knew this was going to be a special moment; what isn’t great about looking over the city on a beautiful day with the man you love?... How could this get any better?

“Oh wait, I bought something we can sit on” he informed you, taking off his backpack and out of it came a blanket. “Stand up again” he he chuckled nervously as he unfolded the blanket and threw it to open out on the grass. “Nice… Have a seat m’lady” he jested, taking a bow before you as you sat down giggling.

“Why thank you, my good sir”

He sat down next you and sighed contentedly “Great… now I can do what I’ve been wanting to do forever.”

“It is a brilliant view Jungkookie… thank you for taking me up here. I love it” you smiled at him, taking a hold of his hand.

“I… I didn’t just come here for the city view… I mean, of course I’ve always loved the idea of looking over at the world around me with someone that means so much to me, but…”

There was a short silence but it was still enough time to leave you in suspense. Where was he going with this?

“But…?”

“Well, we’ve been dating for quite some time, right?...”

“Only dating? Only quite some time?” you laugh. “If by ‘quite some time’ you mean 3 years and by ‘dating’ you mean being absolutely dedicated to you and not even thinking about anyone else in my life after all the time and emotion we’ve shared, then… Yeah I guess we have been dating for quite some time…” you smirked at him,

“See? Quite some time, yeah?... Well… I’ve been thinking very thoroughly about this, and you’ve always made me so happy… Well, I want to spend more than just ‘quite some time’ feeling this way… say, a lifetime?”

It confused you to see Jungkook standing up again so soon as he reached into his pocket for something so you just figured that something was making him feel uncomfortable as you then saw him making his way back down… but not completely. A wave of something rushed over you as you registered that he wasn’t sitting back down… he was… on one knee??

“I’m sorry it’s not in a box or anything, but… I’m confident that you won’t need one…”

“Oh my goodness… Jungkook…” you uttered, jaw dropped as he revealed what was in his hand.

“Y/n… This… this is right. Us. Together. I want it to be that way, always… Will you me?” he grinned.

You trembled with anticipation and delight. “Yes! Yes! YES!” you exclaimed, getting back up to hug him at his level, then both standing up to embrace each other and embrace that moment.

“I promise to give you the future you deserve, y/n”.

[end of flashback]

‘Why do I keep thinking about the good times now?’

[Flashback - Jungkook’s]

It really was the happiest day of Jungkook’s life, when he took your right hand and held it in his to speak the most meaningful words he was ever going to say in his life.

“I, Jungkook Jeon, take you y/n, y/l/n to be my wife.”

The tears were welling in his eyes from the happiness.

“To have and to hold. From this day forward.”

It was even a perfect day for the weather. The sunlight shone onto your radiant face so beautifully. The smile on your face only extended the grin on his.

“For better for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish.”

He couldn’t believe that this was finally happening; tying the knot with his perfect woman. Getting to be the perfect man for her. Everything was going so well with nary an argument and if there had been one, it was those small little things that get resolved in the same conversation as the arguing. Other than the tedious work he forced himself into, his life really was going rather well; smoothly. Almost perfectly.

“Till death us do part.”

*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!*

Jungkook bangs persistently on the door he’s arrived to, shaking with nerves, frustration, his entire energy.

No answer.

*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!*

Taehyung peeps from behind his living room curtain to see who would be knocking at this time of night… and why so loudly?

“Oh fucking hell”

*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!*

“I know you’re in there!” shouts Jungkook.

Taehyung runs to the door to answer in order to avoid any more disturbance for the neighbours.

“What the fuck are you doing here Kook?” Taehyung asks with gritted teeth.

“Wow, we haven’t seen each other in 2 years and that’s how you’re gonna greet me?” huffs the estranged man.

“Not quite sure why you’d be expecting a greeting from me after…”

“After what? Taking y/n away from me?... I…”

All you can hear after that is a pause from Jungkook and you’re shaking in the shower room. It didn’t even cross your mind that Jungkook might have tried to follow you or interrogate the guy that Jimin was trying to prevent you having a closer relationship with.

‘Take y/n away from me?’ you scoff internally. ‘Is he deluded? All Tae ever did for me was help me through a rough time… I can’t help it if...’

You hear a thud and it can’t be anything other than that restless pig losing his temper - you guess some people really don’t change. And that’s all it takes for you to think back to another negative time involving Jungkook

[Flashback]

There was that one night in which everything escalated so quickly that it is hard to forget. You and your husband plus Jimin and Taehyung were at your house for a jolly night in of drinking and chatting. The topic that had arisen was of the friendship the three boys sat with you had.

Somewhat tipsy, Jungkook was just telling you how lovely his friends are, clearly having forgotten that they had been your friends too for the best of 5 years.

“These guys here are my bros! The bond we have is sacred… We trust each other. We help each other with problems. We keep secrets.”

“Oh yeah, like the one where you made me promise not to tell y/n about that night when I walked in on you and that chick…”

You shouted your husband’s name in horror as you watched him pin your friend up against the wall by his throat, sort of forgetting for now what had come out of Taehyung’s mouth - you’d see to that issue later.

“Jungkook! What the fuck are you doing?!”

“I am SICK of this fucking bullshit!” he shouted into Taehyung’s face.

“Jungkook what the heck dude?!” Jimin questioned also.

“I KNOW what I saw!” Taehyung drunkenly slurred into Jungkook’s angry face.

“What you saw? Taehyung! What did you see??” you begged of him.

Silence.

Jungkook’s frustration had intensified. You were pretty sure your friend could see that as he took a deep breath in and sighed.

“It’s… nothing” he said. “It was just a misunderstanding, and dude, you know I knew it was, seriously…”

The grip around Taehyung’s collar loosened as Jungkook put him down… you felt so shaky as you looked at Jimin with uncertainty. He could see your bottom lip quiver and the water to your eyes. He watched your every move as you began to collapse onto the sofa then having your head into your knees trying not to have a breakdown there and then.

“Y/n…?” asked Jimin with huge concern. “Are you…”

“Right, that’s it, guys, go home” insisted Jungkook.

“But we..”

“I SAID GET OUT!” yelled your husband, his tone not calming you down one bit. But it was enough to get Jimin and Taehyung to leave your house.

“Y/n, what Taehyung just said… was a big stupid misunderstanding! It was one night when we were clubbing together and some lass had taken a nasty fall and I seemed to be the most sober person around to…”

“To what? Jungkook, I don’t know what to think right now, but you had BETTER truthfully end that sentence with ‘help her’!”

“Exactly! To help her! She had a nasty cut on the knee and the moment Taehyung had walked in was the moment I was rubbing a plaster over her knee… Y/n, I SWEAR that nothing happened!”

And you believed him.

[End flashback]

‘I tried so hard with you Kook.’

*******

Part 03

#bts #jungkook #bts angst #jungkook angst #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fiction #bts fiction

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cynical-sirius · 6 years

Note

Hey! I’m going around asking the gc members this one by one! How would you explain every member of the gc???

OKAY Y'ALL, PREPARE FOR ME TO HAPPY-RANT ABOUT SOME OF MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE EVER I HAVE PUT THEM IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BECAUSE I HAD NO IDEA WHAT OTHER ORDER TO PUT THEM IN!!!

THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL AMAZING AND Y'ALL SHOULD DEFINITELY FOLLOW THEM IF YOU DON’T ALREADY.

ANYWAYS, HERE’S OUR GROUP OF GAYS:

Abbie aka @eyeofahurricaneart - did y'all know that this girl literally lives AROUND THE CORNER FROM MY PARENTS’ HOUSE yet we’ve never met? (I go to uni 3 hours away). Abbie is so sweet and kind and a damn talented artist!! She’s only been able to join calls briefly but she is a treasure and I love her. (Also we have a mutual friend who has told me that she has the best singing voice so at some point I’m gonna get her to sing for me). Literally drank tea on the skype call like the british stereotype she is. Her insta name is literally a pun. So much love.

Anca aka @rthemis - BITCH WHERE YOU BEEN RECENTLY?!?! I haven’t heard an update about her life in a while which makes me sad because her life is literally a fanfic that I am very much subscribed to. She is so caring. Did you know she literally has a pinterest board for each of her friends where she posts things that remind her of them??? She is also such an Enjolras she cares so much and I love her for it. She literally acted ‘extra gay’ around a bunch of homophobes just to piss them off and adfhksglshgl I love her for it.

Bea aka @probablybeatricetbh - We have literally never DMd!! I’m gonna change that after this post because wtf she’s so amazing. She is so woke and brilliant and although she hasn’t joined the calls recently was such an asset when she did!! This girl literally got detention for ranting about gender neutral bathrooms - World Ain’t Ready Enj anyone?? I love her a lot, as everyone should!

Eve aka @poneezi - Man, this girl is wacky and I love her. She once told this story about a snail that was just so weird and wonderful and perfectly encapsulates her as a person. She doesn’t join calls as much as I’d like but she’s so great when she does!!! I’m pretty sure we have the same sense of humour too - I remember the first time we spoke on call we literally told the same joke at the same time (although now I can’t even remember what the joke was lol). SO much love.

Jaël aka @yeah-tea - oh my god where do I begin? She keeps animal skulls that she skins herself and a taxidermy crow that she made (that I named Russell Crowe) which would normally be huge warning signs for me to be scared of a person, but she’s also a fiercly loyal hufflepuff with a heart of gold who just loves everyone around her and she just has the most beautiful and pure soul ever and I love her so so so much!!! Hopefully going to meet her soon which I am so fucking excited for!!!

Jenny aka @charliedemarcoo - This girl somehow manages to turn a group of dysfunctional gays into a group of Jolys screaming “NO DON’T DO THAT IT’S DANGEROUS” (I mean wtf she snorted chilli powder I cannot even). She is literally 13 and yet I don’t notice an age difference?? (Although that may be because I’m immature rather than because she’s mature lol). She sends chocolates in the mail and is so cute and I love her. Just a wildcard all over tbh - yesterday she fucking went down a slip and slide made of rainwater down a staircase??? We will all die an early death from how much she worries us. She also wrote a ‘keyboard smash’ translation of her letter for Kyle. I love her. A lot.

Kyle aka @eposettemyass - This gal literally is the reason we all know each other!! So thank you for that, Kyle!! She is so brilliant and amazing!! She literally just got into a great uni and I am so so so proud of her. The recipient of the aforementioned keyboard smash letter because she is a useless gay who cannot convey emotions without a keyboard smash. AMAZING SINGER TOO LIKE WTF?!?!?!?! She literally grimaced the day she found out I was a gemini (it was over Skype - I saw her face) which I normally wouldn’t be offended by except thefact that I am literally the most stereotypical gemini ever. Loooove youuuu.

@shitpostingfromthebarricade - This girl is my rock. Literally. I do not know where I’d be without her. Also whenever I want to talk about some super obscure fanfic that I’ve read, she always seems to have read it??? (See: 10 Things AU, Cheers Darlin’, etc). She literally holds the chat together: she initiates the calls (literally, this week she wasn’t around to start the call so it started 2 and a half hours late - where would we be without you dude seriously), she is just by far the unorganised organiser in a group of unorganised gays. Probably the one I’ve spoken to most and I feel like she knows me pretty well and I know her pretty well. Always there to talk!!! Love you 😘😘😘

Anyways those are my gays and I love them ❤️❤️❤️ (ps I have not proofread this at all so prepare for there to be a load of mistakes in it)

#I LOVE Y'ALL A LOT OKAY #wlw chat #sword wielding wlw

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redditnosleep · 6 years

Text

Has Anyone Heard of The Left/Right Game?

by NeonTempo

Hi Guys,

Firstly, I want to apologise for not being at my laptop for the past few days. I had to attend a wedding in Scotland for one of my uni friends. They booked it in mid-week and, between you and me, I don’t think it’s going to last which means not only have I neglected you guys, but I’ve also wasted money on a rental suit and a John Lewis tea set.

As always thank you for your help in my ongoing attempt to find Alice. I’m now in full contact with the radio show she was working for, and they’ll be sending over Rob’s submission to the show as soon as they can. I’ve also looked up every town named Jubilation and have contacted residents from each of them. None of them have the particular junction mentioned in the previous log, “Sycamore Row” and “Acer Street”. I even combed google maps to make sure. I’m not sure what town Alice passed through last February but it doesn’t seem to exist on public record.

The guy who promised to retrace the route from the mirror shop came through, and has sent me a few possible addresses for Rob. He also mentioned looking into the game itself more. I’m not sure what he means by that but I want to be clear, please don’t play this game on my behalf. I don’t want that on my conscience.

Ok, without further ado, here’s the following log.

Thanks again.

The Left/Right Game [DRAFT 1] 10/02/2017

(Possible Opening) (I want to address you, the listener, for a moment, with an advance notice concerning the following episode. I’m sure it’s not been lost on you that every installment of the series so far has played host to some strange, unexplainable occurrence, and spanned a great many miles of travel. It goes without saying this has been by design. I’ve been summarising the countless hours of uneventful meandering and taking extra care to document the strange phenomena we’ve encountered along the way. I wanted the story to be fast moving, to have a real feel of progress with every chapter.

If that sense of exploratory intrigue is why you’re listening to this show, I completely understand. I’m certain it’s a primary draw for almost all of you; the twists, the turns, the mysterious, strange encounters along an impossible road.

But if that is the case, I feel it’s my duty to inform you that, apart from a few notable exceptions, there will be almost no ground covered in this segment, and the monsters we encounter will be all too human; stress, divisiveness, discomfort and, as one might imagine, grief.

If you want to read the synopsis of this episode on the website and wait for the next part, then you’ll be all caught up and I’m sure we’ll be back on our way, heading once more into the great unknown. But I feel it’s important to give the aftermath of Ace’s capture its own episode, in part due to the significance of the revelations that are unearthed in its wake, but also as a gesture of deference to the man we lost.

This is the story of our second night on the road.)

As we make the left turn, the horrifying space behind us is quickly replaced by a quiet emptiness ahead. The Wrangler crawls, defeated, toward the waiting convoy. The remaining four cars are parked haphazardly, taking up more than half the road. Rob drifts to the far end of the tarmac, looking to overtake and resume formation. Both of his hands rest on the steering wheel, his eyes fixed on some distant point in space. It’s not hard to imagine that behind the focus and the quiet control, there’s a man in turmoil, a man who can’t bring himself to say anything, in fear of saying too much.

AS: This is Bristol to all cars. We’re heading back on the road. Get yourselves in formation and make way for those around you. We’ve got a while to drive before we stop for the night.

LILITH: Bristol where’s Ro… Ferryman?

AS: Ferryman’s here.

APOLLO: Where’s Ace?

AS: Ace is… Ace didn’t make it across.

APOLLO: Uhh what?

LILITH: What the fuck? Bristol where is he?

It would be simple to describe what had taken place, or at least summarise the barest facts; what happened to Ace, where he is now, why he isn’t coming back. But for some reason, I can’t utter a word about what's transpired. Something about the event itself makes it impossible to retell, as if the requisite phrases have been locked behind glass.

AS: We need to get to the stopping point. It isn’t safe to stay here.

Shortly after we’d turned the corner out of Sycamore Row, Rob implied that the rest of the days’ drive would be uneventful. Had he waited just a few minutes longer, he would have been entirely correct. We’re on the road for another four hours, both of us quietly attending to our own preoccupations as the forest gradually thins out. The landscape gives way to rolling cornfields, that stretch out beyond the horizon on both sides.

Nothing notable happens, which is ironic, as I find myself typing up a lot more notes than I need.

With the sun descends through an orange sky as we pull into a clearing, beside a wild grove of apple trees. Rob turns off the ignition and the two of us sit in silence. Rob’s need to concentrate on driving had been a good excuse to stay quiet, a good excuse to not face each other. Now the wheels aren’t turning however, and the true reason for our mutual reticence is all too clear.

AS: Do you think he’s dead?

ROB: I don’t know.

Rob’s response isn’t reassuring, and I’m oddly grateful for that. There are no comforting words he can give me, and any attempt would have seemed horrifically insincere, a mockery of the situation’s onerous gravity. Anyway, given the circumstances of Ace’s capture, I’m not even sure which answer I want to hear.

Lilith appears at my window, rapping her knuckles against the glass with an aggressive impatience. I’d expect nothing less about now. Everyone in the convoy has been made to follow a unilateral order, my order, without explanation. They’ve been travelling for hours accompanied by the glaring absence of another human being. Looking in the wing mirror, I glimpse the rest of the convoy, standing by their cars, watching the Wrangler expectantly.

Rob’s hands still haven’t left the wheel.

With a sharp intake of breath, I push the door open and step out onto the grass. The ground is soft below me as I walk over to the group. There’s recently been rain. I begin to address the rough semicircle, it almost feels like one of Rob’s briefings.

EVE: What’s happening Bristol?

APOLLO: Did Ace turn back?

I meet Apollo’s eye. For the briefest of moments, I consider telling them all exactly that. Maybe it would save them from the slow, heavy ache that’s currently weighing down my chest. Maybe it would just save me from a difficult conversation. Either way, I know I can't lie to them. They deserve the truth, however unpleasant.

AS: No he didn’t turn back; they crippled his car.

LILITH: The tow truck? Did he get out?

The answer doesn't come easily. I’m being pressed to say the words aloud and, in doing so, to fully acknowledge what happened. It feels like I’m being driven to a funeral, like I’m being verbally marched towards an open casket.

EVE: What happened to him?... Bristol…

ROB: He’s dead, Eve.

I hadn’t heard Rob step out of the car when he reaches the group. It’s hard to hide my relief as he takes over proceedings, addressing the group matter-of-factly. Now it really is like one of his briefings.

ROB: Two guys in the tow truck coming outta Jubilation. They got him. They took him back with them to the town. Way they were treatin’ him he won’t last long.

BONNIE: Oh goodness…

EVE: What? Rob what’re they going to do to him?

ROB: I can’t tell you. Nothing like this ever happened before.

LILITH: Well we need to go back.

ROB: That ain’t gonna happen.

LILITH: We’re not going to fucking abandon him.

AS: Lilith…

LILITH: We’re going back!

ROB: No we’re not.

APOLLO: Me and Rob can go. You know the place right Rob?

ROB: The kid’s dead Apollo.

LILITH: But he was alive when you last saw him?

ROB That’s right.

LILITH: So what point did you decide he was dead?

ROB: When I saw him being carried away with a fucking tow hook sticking out his mouth! Goddamn it.

Rob shouldn’t have said that. I understand his reasons of course; he wants to convey an important truth, that nothing can be done, or could have been done, to save Ace. His ghastly choice of words does the job, but it also sends a ripple of disturbance through the crowd, planting in everyone’s minds the gruesome image I’ve been trying all day to uproot.

Bonnie covers her mouth in shock and sorrow. Eve turns noticeably pale, and even Lilith, who is intent on leading the questioning, is taken aback.

LILITH: Did… did you see this Bristol?

I nod solemnly. The group bristles at my affirmation.

AS: I saw enough. I had to close my eyes when it happened, Rob tried to save him until…

Before I can finish my statement, my words are cut off by something truly unexpected. In spontaneous response to my words, a harsh outburst of mocking, sarcastic laughter rings out from within the convoy. One by one, we turn towards its source, until we all find ourselves staring at Bluejay. Her unapologetic chuckling fills the silent night air.

AS: Is something funny, Bluejay?

Bluejay tries to speak through her, all too slowly, waning laughter.

BLUEJAY: It’s just… you call yourself a journalist… Hah you closed your eyes, my god… there it is! There it is.

AS: I’m sorry?

BLUEJAY: Do you close your eyes for magic tricks too?

EVE: What the fuck Bluejay?

APOLLO: Come on, this isn’t the time.

BLUEJAY: Oh the time is well fucking overdue. Seriously are you all morons? The Left/Right Game is a hoax. It’s fake! Rob Guthard’s played you all like fucking children! Ace is fine, he’s probably an actor! Like the hitchhiker was an actor and those towns people too. I mean, come on.

The group is taken aback by Bluejay’s incredulous tirade. She’s clearly been holding her tongue since day one; our reaction to Ace’s capture representing just one step too far.

AS: I saw Rob shoot one of those townspeople with a hunting rifle. I saw the wound. It was real.

BLUEJAY: It was a blood filled squib. The rifle was probably loaded with blanks. You can buy both from any good theatrical retailer. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you people?

LILITH: Ok firstly, I don’t like your fucking tone. Secondly, have you noticed that we’ve been the only cars on the road for almost two days? And what about Jubilation? Are you suggesting Rob hired out a whole town? That would be fucking impossible.

BLUEJAY: Oh yeah sure, THAT’S impossible, but it’s totally believable that we’re driving on a magic road. Maybe this is the highest budget scam I’ve ever seen but that’s all it is, a scam. And Al Jazeera here is giving him all the publicity he wants. I mean these people are sheep but you, you’re a fucking sycophant.

My mother used to tell me that you can’t strike a person from the high road. Staring down the barrel of Bluejay’s darkly self-satisfied grin, I’m more than tempted to make the descent.

AS: Ok Bluejay fair enough. I’m not going to pretend to know what’s going on here, for all I know you could be right. But why would Rob spend the production budget of a Hollywood film to trick a radio journalist and two vloggers. Trust me, our website does not get enough traffic for-

BLUEJAY: Oh don’t be so self-important. It’s not YOU he’s trying to fool.

Bluejay turns to Rob, fixing him a glare of pure, unadulterated triumph.

BLUEJAY: Admit it Rob. Admit that this is all a fucking farce. Admit that you knew who I was before I even got out of my car.

Rob’s face looks like it’s been carved from granite. The group looks to him for an answer, but he delivers his response directly to Bluejay, his eyes locked with hers.

ROB: It’s true… … I know who you are Denise.

The atmosphere changes, and for a moment, the night erupts into a foray of whispers. Rob’s answer clearly means something to everyone but me.

EVE: Denise?

LILITH: Denise Carver?

APOLLO: No. You serious?

AS: Sorry, who’s Denise Carver?

LILITH: She’s the biggest killjoy in the hobby.

BLUEJAY: Oh fuck you, you fucking air-head.

ROB: Denise here is a member of the Skeptics and Rationalist Institute of America. She likes to get herself invited on ghost hunting expeditions under a false name so she can debunk them publicly. You may've gathered she don’t believe in the supernatural.

BLUEJAY: Actually I do believe in the supernatural. I believe that it’s a billion dollar industry built on selling comfortable lies to the gullible, and it thrives on shitty journalists and attention whore bloggers who are willing to spread whatever shit they think will get them clicks.

AS: That’s why you took so long getting around the pine tree. Even when the truck was coming for Ace. You didn’t think any of it was real.

BLUEJAY: Uhh… did you?

As condescending as her delivery may be, her words spark a sudden realisation. It’s true, that with an unspeakably high budget and a few deft stooges, you could probably replicate most of what we’d seen on the road. Yet, without realising it, I’ve found myself agreeing with Rob’s version of events, personally defending the Left/Right Game’s validity against its decriers. I’d set off on this journey much like Bluejay, as a staunch, confident skeptic, but somewhere between the tunnel and this moment, I’d become a believer.

Bluejay notes my lack of protest, and turns back to Rob.

BLUEJAY: I’m flattered you went to all this trouble. I didn’t know my work was so offensive to you.

ROB: I admire your work Denise. Always have. That’s why I brought you along.

BLUEJAY: That is bullshit. Tell your friend Ace he can’t act for shit.

Bluejay pulls a pack of Marlboros out of her coat, lighting up immediately, and goes to sit on the hood of her nearby car. Her demeanour clearly signals that her part in the conversation is over, though her words leave a bitter aftertaste for everyone involved. To sympathise, it must be exhausting, spending two days with people whose opinions are diametrically opposed to your own, having to listen in silence while they corroborate their own seemingly preposterous views. Having said that however, I’m incredibly glad she’s stopped talking. It reminds me of a time when we got on much better.

The next question comes from Eve, her voice quivering.

EVE: Can… can we die here Rob?

The quiet force of her words turn everyone’s heads back towards Rob. It’s clear that others have been thinking the same thing, and they’re looking to Rob for an answer.

ROB: It’s possible. The road ain’t ever killed no one before. Not so long as everyone followed the rules.

LILITH: But you said in your emails it was dangerous.

ROB: That’s right.

LILITH: But you didn’t feel like telling us that we could die out here?

Rob turns to Lilith, clearly offended by her accusation.

ROB: In the 1920’s Jon Ebenrow killed 36 people and violated their bodies. In one of your videos, you guys went to his home in Virginia looking for the man’s ghost. Bonnie & Clyde once spent $500 to stay at the Iowa Murder House, a place that’s supposed to possess its victims and force’em to kill each other.

ROB: If you all honestly believed in what you were chasing, you should be accepting death as an outcome every time you step out. We are looking for evidence of another world. What we’re doing here has the scientific significance of the moon landings, the cultural significance of Columbus reaching the Americas and a whole lot of people died doing both. If you accepted the risk chasing down the ghost of a two-bit serial killer, you should be willing to accept the risk for this.

Lilith looks like she’s been scolded by a parent. There’s a fire in her eyes as she observes Rob, meeting his criticism with scorn.

LILITH: Oh so it’s Ace’s fault? He should have “accepted the risk”?

ROB: He did accept the risk. Ace made his decisions. He saw the dangers of the road first hand and he kept on goin'. I told you this place could be dangerous, and maybe you didn’t take that seriously. But you are NOT gonna treat me like I lured any of you here under false pretenses.

We stand for a few moments in the uncomfortable void left by Rob’s words. No one’s quite sure where to look.

APOLLO: Well what do we do now Rob? Do we turn around?

ROB: I ain’t gonna make that decision for you. If you want to split off and head back, I suggest you wait till mornin’ and stagger your leavin’ times by an hour or so. I ain’t never seen nothin’ like what happened back there before, but this is the most people I ever played the game with. Maybe that’s doin’ somethin’.

AS: What do you mean by that?

ROB: Well it’s the only thing that’s changed. Truth is, this ain’t our world, by all rights we shouldn’t be here. Even when it's one car the road always tries to discourage you. Maybe it’s like bacteria in a vein. One or two might slip by unnoticed but once it hits a certain point it’s like a uh…

AS: Like an immune response. You think the road’s pushing back on foreign objects?

ROB: And the bigger the group-

AS: The more violent the response…

It makes sense, until Bluejay laughs once more. Hearing her reaction, I reassess what I'm saying and I can’t help but feel a little foolish at the idea.

ROB: Maybe. It’s just a theory... I don’t know.

Rob collects himself, regaining his composure.

ROB: Either way, you all have the morning to decide if you want to keep on the road. Bristol, if you want to go home, you gotta find someone to take you. I ain’t ready to head back yet.

He turns away from the group and marches to the Wrangler. I don’t see him again for the rest of the evening, and I have no intention of bothering him. Eve and Lilith immediately crowd around me, asking if I’m alright and taking it in turns to disparage Rob’s actions. I can’t bring myself to join in. All I can bring myself to say is…

AS: Can I charge my phone in your car?

The group has very little to say for the rest of the night. A deep solemnity hangs in the air, dampening any semblance of good cheer like wet leaves on a dwindling fire. No one offers any conversation, Apollo’s reservoir of quips has run dry. Everyone’s wondering where they’ll be going from here, pondering the sort of person they are in circumstances such as this. Do they press on towards danger, or back towards safe and familiar ground. It’s a question they’ll have to figure out for themselves, ideally before sunrise.

I already have questions of my own.

About an hour after Rob’s departure, bidding fair well to the rest of the group, I walk over to Lilith and Eve’s car. My bag is resting on the front seat, a black wire leading inside from the charging port. I’ve decided not to tell the pair that I’ve been charging the detonator for a military grade explosive less than ten metres away from them. Perhaps it will come out during broadcast. If you’re listening to this, sorry girls.

I pick up my bag and, checking that no one’s looking, make a beeline for the apple grove. I march through the small wood, the air growing still, the sounds of the convoy quickly fading behind me. In the late evening darkness, with the moon shrouded by legion of crooked trees, I’m puzzled that I’m not more afraid. I’ve seen what happens on this road and, as I pass through the grove and into the neighbouring field, intentionally isolating myself from the rest of the group, I'm quite aware that help won’t be coming for me. Even so, as the corn rises up in every direction around me, I find myself almost incapable of fear. The day's events have drained me of emotion, and I'm now with everything else pulled away, I’m left with only one driving directive; an overpowering urge to figure this road out, regardless of what that entails.

Judging the distance I’ve traveled to be acceptably out of range from the convoy, I take the block of C4 out of my bag and place it on the ground. Gritting my teeth, my body cringing with self-inflicted dread, I press the power button on the Nokia and wait for something to happen. My worries of instant disintegration are allayed slightly as the grainy image of two outstretched hands comes into view, swiftly replaced by a menu screen.

I work fast, the words on the brown paper package constantly reminding me of what I’m putting at risk with every passing second.

Firstly, I type my number own number into the phone, assuming, or at least hoping, that the mechanism isn’t activated by outgoing calls. A few seconds later my cell phone rings, giving me the Nokia’s number. Checking the call logs, I find a second, different number, which seems to have made a call to the phone three times in quick succession. If I were a betting woman, which I sometimes am, I’d suggest that this number belongs to whoever built the bomb, the calls representing an attempt to test the trigger prior to its implementation. If I’m right, then this should be the personal number of whoever was driving that crashed car.

My third discovery, is a little bit more puzzling. No texts have been sent from this phone, however there is one solitary message residing in the phone’s inbox. It’s from a third, separate number, and it reads thus:

“Please don't do this Rob.”

I stare at those four words, the new information grating uncomfortably against my already preconceived theories. If this text is to be believed, and my previous deductions are at all accurate, then that means Rob Guthard was driving the car. That the C4 in the trunk had belonged to him. All this time I thought Rob may have been responsible for something terrible, but what if he was run off the road himself? If that is the case, it leads to an entirely new question… who was responsible for his crash?

As I begin to think it over, the air explodes around me.

I’m jolted out of my examination by a powerful, echoing voice which reverberates the very air. The corn is thrown into a frenzy as the noise echoes from every direction, as if spoken by the air itself.

VOICE: I’ve watched you questioning.

Without a second’s hesitation, I turn off the Nokia and throw the block into my bag. I jump to my feet and scan the cornfield for whoever spoke the words, backing away towards the convoy. Suddenly, realising how far I am from my friends, I break into a run, my boots pounding the dirt as I flee back to the woods.

Less than a minute later I burst out through the trees, my bag swinging with the weight of the block. Everyone’s in their cars, seemingly fast asleep. I’m starting to think they’re onto something. With no one to talk to, and a long day ahead of me, I suppose there’s no further recourse but to catch my breath, write up my immediate thoughts and then, finally, get some much needed rest.

I feel a dull pressure behind my eyes as I step towards the Wrangler. Quietly opening the back door next to my sleeping area, I carefully hide the block under my luggage. Then, silently closing the door again, I wander around to the passenger side, where my notes are waiting to be typed.

I reach out and grab the handle, gripping it tightly. I don’t open the door. In fact, after a moment staring through the glass, I let go.

The pressure behind my eyes gives way, and before I know it I’ve slid down to the damp ground, my back against the cool, hard metal of the door. A whine catches in my throat as ugly tears stream down my cheeks. My breath shudders as I inhale, and my attempt to breathe out plays to the world as a quiet, declining sob. The tears take me by surprise but I don’t wipe them away. In a bittersweet way, they’re welcome, necessary even. They carry with them a familiar sense of heartrending release. By the time they’ve run dry, I feel like I might just be able to move on from the events of the day. The sounds in my head are just a little quieter now I’ve paid them their due.

BONNIE: Are you ok honey?

I’m picking myself up when I see Bonnie walking carefully over to the Wrangler. I brush myself off, a little embarrassed at being caught.

AS: I didn’t know you were awake.

BONNIE: I’m a light sleeper, and Martin… Clyde snores. Do you need someone to talk to?

AS: I think I just need to sleep. Thanks Bonnie.

BONNIE: My name’s Linda, if you’re wondering.

AS: … Alice.

BONNIE: That’s a beautiful name. Well Alice, I know I don’t talk much, but I know how to listen… if you ever want me to.

For the first time since the pine fell, I find myself smiling. It’s a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless.

AS: Thank you Linda. I might take you up on that. Have a good night.

BONNIE:** Have a good night.

Bonnie starts to walk back to the car, before pausing and turning round. One last piece of comfort to offer.

BONNIE: And remember, everything will all be alright once we get to Wintery Bay.

I frown a little, unsure what Bonnie means. She smiles back blankly, then resumes the path back to her car. She’s mentioned that place before, upon leaving Jubilation, in what seemed like a moment of idle reminiscence. How she mentioned it just now doesn’t seem like reminiscence at all.

After everything that’s gone on, all the suspicion I’ve been directing at Rob, all my worry for Ace. Is something the matter with Bonnie?

Perhaps I’m misunderstanding, perhaps Bonnie misspoke, but all the same, the brief comfort her words afforded me has already faded away, leaving a familiar feeling of confusion and paranoia in its place.

I let myself into the passenger side, type up a few pressing notes and then climb through onto the air mattress. Sleep doesn’t come easily. I close my eyes and try to convince myself that tomorrow will be better than this harrowing day. Yet every time I make that particular argument, a voice in my head responds:

“That may depend on which way you turn.”

#creepy #horror story #series #left right game series #author: NeonTempo

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royalpinks-blog · 6 years

Text

RULES.

BASIC

don’t steal my stuff. that includes icons, my writing, edits, etc

i’m selectively pro call out culture, if that makes sense ? if someone is in danger or being harassed, etc, then i will reblog a callout for it. i don’t do callouts for silly things like stealing tags or formatting

duplicates are fine with me !! but i understand they’re not for everyone, so unless stated in their rules, i will follow duplicates if they’re comfortable w it

the only tags i have blacklisted are: sydrian, sydney x adrian, adrian x sydney. the ship isn’t in any fandom i’m in, but i generally don’t like them as a couple and don’t want them on my dash at all for whatever reason

to add onto the triggers, i tag mine like: triggername /

feel free to ask me for my skype or snapchat ;*

THREADS / INTERACTIONS

i only interact with mutuals, so any asks and likes on a starter call from someone who i don’t follow will probs be ignored and deleted

i’m okay with one liners, multi paras, and novella when it comes to length in threads. but my muse isn’t that great honestly so the length will always depend on my mood and how much i’m feeling yu. it’ll also help if the thread and / or ask is plotted beforehand

between a job and uni, i’m p busy most the time so it’ll take me a while to get to asks / threads and even then i’m slow af sorry

i do format my posts and gussy up my icons, but that doesn’t mean i expect everyone else to. u don’t need any of that to impress me ! i’m happy as long as ur charactersation is good i couldn’t care less. and if u have a problem with how i format my posts then pls tell me

FOLLOWS / MAINS

guess what………….. i’m picky abt who i follow !!! as long as u tag ur shit and have a blog i can easily get around / easily get to rules, about, navigation, etc then ya’ll should be fine

even tho i’m selective i still encourage anyone from any fandom to follow me !

im a-okay with mains. in fact, i encourage them. however im really not that interested in exclusives. they just seem to really limit the possibility of interacting with other blogs and tbh ????? that’s what i’m here to do, inteact with people and make new friends. so pls don’t ask to be exclusive with me bc i will say no, but hmu to be mains

since some peeps don’t know, to me if ur muse is a main with mine then ur muse will be the muse mine goes to first, will talk about in most threads, and will be included in on headcanons

SHIPS

i’m multi ship. however, that doesn’t mean it’s my main focus of this blog. i enjoy brotps and hate ships just as much

obviously, there needs to be development between our muse’s first. chemistry is a must too !

i don’t have any favourite ships for miranda in particular so if u wanna discuss a ship feel free to hmu

i’m only going to ship with one said character at a time ! that means that if i’m shipping with a charaname then that means i’m not going to ship with another charaname. but i can bend that rule slightly if the muse is an au version of said muse, like a dark!charaname for example

if u wanna ship with me then pls remember that i will probs devote myself to that ship !! i will make edits and send asks and just headcanons abt our muse’s relationships

don’t force a ship on me or miranda bc i will not hesitate to block u

miranda and i are over 18 so smut may be a thing

#rules.

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4jimin · 6 years

Photo

hello there!! its me guys… so !! here i am, doing what ive wanted to do for a long time. it’s new year, the first day of 2018, and i wanted to take the chance to say some things.

i’ve always struggled when it came to expressing myself and letting my inner self out in the open, bc i didn’t like feeling that exposed, but if there is a thing i’ve learnt with the passage of the years is that one of the most important things in the world – if not the most – is sharing love and showing people they’re appreciated and cared for. so i may strech myself a little bit too much, but please keep up with me, i have never been good at expressing myself shortly :(

2017 has been a tough year. for all of us, in different scales. some of us lost many important things, from people to motivation, or a reason. we lost jonghyun this year and no words can express how big of a loss this was. i almost lost my grandma, and only i know how much this triggered a fear in me. it doesn’t matter how much we say life is precious and worth living, sometimes we just can’t see an end to it. a path, a destination. from what i know, anyone i know could be gone tomorrow, or even today, and the heavy realization of this sank on me like never last year. that’s why i think it’s so important letting others sincerely know their impact in our lives, it doesn’t matter if you don’t impact their lives just as much. that’s not the point of it. i’m sure you impact other people in a way maybe they don’t impact you. and that’s okay. we’re humans. it doesn’t have to be mutual to be real and significant. because in the end of the day that’s what makes all of us important. the things we feel and how all of it connect us with other people. happiness, sadness, fear, love and all kinds of emotions – they should be shared. don’t be scared about it. i swear you’re important, and you matter, you just have to believe it. please, keep going, you’re such an unique, precious thing to this world, and it would be such a loss to not have you. i love you, i hope you all have a happy new year, and – most of all –, so many love in your hearts that it feels like swelling and like it doesn’t fit your body ♥

to the people that i feel like having the biggest connection with in here: you’re so important to me. really. i love you so much

@jihope hello there you. it’s me again lmao im here to say for a billion times over how much i love and adore you, and everything that you are. i love when you talk so excitedly about the things that you’re into, and how you’re so passionate that i can actually feel all the love through a goddamn screen lmao i love how thoughtful and caring you are of your family, i love your relationship with your mother. i love how it feels to me that you can fit anywhere, talk to anyone. i love how it doesn’t seem like you’re scared to live your life, doing whatever you want whenever you want. i love how you always reassure how much you love me it doesn’t matter how i can lack sometimes. honestly, i love you so much it’s insane. thank you for being my best friend, i love you.

@c-cygnus tbh i feel like i love so many things about you i could go on for hours. meariie you’re such a precious little thing. i know you’re like a month younger than me, but i feel like you’re my baby and that i need to protect you from everything. i love how you’re always so bright and cheerful, melting everyone’s heart in a beat of a second. i love how humble you are, no matter how much fucking talent there is inside of you, you act like it’s no big deal when it fascinates me and so many other people to the core. i love how you’re pure, it makes me feel like the world is good and that i could just hug it all in my arms. i love how you make me feel when we talk and literally explode declarations all over for each other. i’m so happy to have met you, thank you so much for being a part of my life, i love you.

@tanktoptiger keila, i feel like i’ve learned so many things from you. i know you’re always proud to hear that – and you should, because it’s amazing –, but you were one of the reasons why i started to feel more comfortable with my sexuality to actually start wondering and questioning some things that i felt. i can never thank you enough for that. i love how it doesn’t matter the situation or the environment, you’re not scared to let others people what you think and how you see the world. i felt jealous about it, because i’ve always lacked on this part of myself. consciously or not, i’ve always caught myself wondering if i should speak up, if it was worth the time and strength and if it’d make others hate me. now, i can see that these things are not really important and that i shouldn’t let it stop me from speaking for myself. i love this about you. i also love how funny you are sometimes without meaning to, and how sweet you can be no matter how tough you may try to look. i love you, please keep being who you are.

@blt-prf hello, i miss you :( and i couldn’t let you out of this, because truly sfjnd you’re an inspiration for me. i still remember when i sent you that first ask, absolutely dying out of embarrassment and rambling my way out, because you were one of my favorite authors and i had to let you know, but then you answered so sweetly and followed me and i was???? wow life is good. anyway, after actually getting to know a little bif of you, i only grew more fond of who you are, and now everytime you pop up in my notes or in my dash i feel like mush (im serious sdjkdjf) i love you so much, i hope you know that

@sheloveskook baby :-( tbh you’re like a ray of sunshine shining sososo bright everytime we talk, and i usually get ??? h o w can you be so sweet and so caring all the time, you actually overwhelm me in the best of ways and every time we talk i feel like i could curl on a bed like a baby with you singing me to sleep and?? idk if this is weird but this is sincerely how i feel. i wish i could give you all the good things in the world like, a day in jungkook’s arms?? id give you if i could. i hope this year is like immensely good for you, and that even if it brings you bad experiences it is only useful to help you grow and become an even more incredible person. i love you so much i wish i could lock you up in my heart, :(

@m0chimchim bree, angel. you were one of the first people i met here and honestly what a great way to start my experience with this blog. you went away a little after i joined here, but even though i had already grown so fond of you?? and i don’t know how you did it, but everytime i thought about you i was worried wondering if you were alright, happy and smiling. i still worry but seeing you in here rambling about your day at times and all, makes me feel so good i could just hug you the tightest. i hope life is treating you well, always. i love you

@strongjeon give it up for the most gorgeous woman w the best make up skills, a queen. listen. i dont know if im too easily entranced by people (which i dont think so), but im actually so??? mindblown bc we have actually just started properly talking it has two days but i already feel so attached and comfortable around you, like we could talk for hours straight (like we already been doing? wow amazing) you’re so funny and cute and pretty and talented and i just get!! why and how you and isis got to find me interesting enough to join you sfjfkdkd but!! i also wanted to let you know that you can reach me anytime you want if you ever need to talk and just vent okay? i don’t know if things are still hard, but if they are i’ll give my best on trying to make you laugh and happy. thank you for being so supportive, you have no idea how much this means to me :( i love you

@pkjjm hello you the duo part of my squad goals sdfjkf i know you’re probably not going to see this until you come back but im writing it to you nonetheless bc?? i have to let you know some things. i always watched you from afar and thought “wow isis is so cool she’s so funny i wish we would be friends” but i was too shy to properly approach you so i kept on w this inside of me for a long time sfjkdn and now that we’re actually talking i feel so regretful that i didn’t try to talk to you before bc you’re honestly amazing?? you make me laugh so hard and i love how spontaneous you are, your facial expressions are seriously the best, and i love how even though we had never actually talked before, just interacted here and there, you still made me feel so comfortable, like i was already part of that group just like cami did. thank you so much for hyping me up 100% of the time, know that if you ever need me for anything im here okay?? i love you

@1taesgf if it’s not the bae of my heart, the princess of my dreams ! my little angel, i hope this next year comes full of good memories to mark on you, full of smiles to gift you and most importantly full of immense love to fill your heart just like you deserve. i love you so much, i always get extra hyped when i see you in my dash, i seriously do sdfjkdsh i wish i could give you everything you wanted, like i bet if tae ever saw you he’d be so lovestruck it wouldn’t take him a minute to be head over heels for you!! you’re so sweet and such a beautiful person, i’m always here wishing you the best and hoping you have the biggest smile on your face!!

@parkjiminer my long term other half!! i know it may be weird to listen (read?) this but cathy i feel such a sense of fondness towards you, like that one you feel when your friend achieves something amazing and you’re just sosososo proud even though it didn’t happen directly to you yknow?? i think id be your mom friend if we saw each other daily and regularly lmao i still remember when i found out you got into uni and i was???? so happy seriously so happy even though me myself haven’t made it?? i truly love you a lot and i hope 2018 comes to help you create and make amazing things, just like yourself

@blossomins my sweetest pure angel :( honestly my heart actually hurts from how much i miss you. from the way you’d suddenly drop by my inbox with random ‘i love you’s and ‘i miss you’s or how you’d cutely ramble about something on your txt posts or how you’d suddenly post an amazing fic leaving everyone?? amazed. i absolutely love the way you express yourself, it’s so cute and genuine and i wish you’d see this. jo, you’re such an unique beautiful being and im honestly so happy i was blessed enough to get to meet you. thank you for being you? i love you

@ggukbun airaaaaa!! god you’re seriously so beautiful in and out. i absolutely love when you go off about jungkook, its like the sweetest and funniest thing in the world at the same time sdgjsmdhfk also i think you’re probably one of the most aesthetic people i’ve ever met and i think this is absolutely?? wow goals. i wish you to know that i think you’re absolutely incredible and also so sweet it actually makes my heart go all :((( i love you aira, i hope you have the best of the years and also is able to fulfill all of your wishes

@bangtanroyalty oh well :( my loveeee, i know i randomly drop by your inbox to send you messages like this all the time but?? you’re such an inspiration, i see such a kind and powerful woman in you, it’s amazing how you look like you could kick my ass while also kissing my forehead sdhjdnf i know you’ve already heard everything i’m going to tell you, but i just wanted to reassure how much i love you and how amazing i think you are. i love how you’re always so adorable with everyone around you and feels so down to earth to talk with. i love you and this year better bring you some damn great moments or else im going after him to !! beat his ugly ass

@chuulove shoutout to the ever so good-looking bee……..a goddess………listen i’ve always admired you from afar bc i always thought you were so cool and funny and when you actually followed me i was so sfhfkfj how did this happen lmao but seriously bee i absolutely love the way you talk and how you make text posts and them go “adjdkfdhd” in the tags laughing at yourself, i think it’s seriously the cutest thing :( i lov your sense of humour bc it’s actually a lot like mine, so every time you post smth im always prepared to go just like your tags and “sdjdknshdk” but anyway i hope you know i sincerely appreciate and love you a lot and i wish you nothing but happiness

@raplinesgf gio!!!!! if for some in here i feel like im their mom friend for you i feel like you could be my mom friend sdhkjdb seriously you’re so kind and caring, and i feel like you’re always worrying about the ones around you but at the same time you seem so centered and responsible i cant help but feel a sense of proud towards you sdhkfnd i love these little things about you, and how you just do whatever you want don’t matter what others will think, like that time when you changed your whole blog instead of creating a sideblog to dedicate to that group you worked with just bc you felt so much love for them sjsb that day i started admiring you so much more bc you made me feel free to do whatever i wanted to, even though it wasn’t oh such a big thing. anyway i feel like you’ve taught many things without ever meaning to and i’m so grateful for that, i love you

@jjeonguk kyra :( as one of the first people i met in here i feel like you introduced my experience here so well bc seriously you’re such a sweet and funny person to be around, it’s so amusing to see you interact with your followers and friends, i always end up laughing by myself with the messages they send you shdjdj and i also love to see you ramble on the dashboard about things in your life or that time when u were tipsy sjdjkf amazing lmao but !! i just wanted to let you know that even though i suck at conversations and all this you’re seriously so special to me i want you to be so happy like you never felt before!! thank you so much for existing, i love you

@muchbetterbts the one who always comes to freak out about jikook with me in the chat, could i be more grateful??? ju you’re so funny and cute, i love when you’re going off about the things you love, sometimes you remind of jin when he’s in a heated discourse about things with the maknae line in that way he does and it’s seriously the cutest thing in the world sdjdkjd thank you for always hitting me up to freak out with me, i love you a lot

@lesbianblossomjimin the ever so loving ash!! god you’re such a source of inspiration – from rocking looks to fighting your way through life, i?? admire you so much?? i know i already went off and started rambling on that video you posted but seriously, you’re such an amazing person. i feel so encouraged by you sometimes and i wish the world could be a better place for all of us, it seriously saddens me so much whenever i see you’re feeling down or frustrated at things for being the way they are it makes me feeling like kicking everyone responsible for this shitty world in the face. but i feel so much better when i see that sea of people loving you and sending you incredible messages like “yes!! send this much love but also much more” bc honestly you deserve all the love in the world :( i love you, i hope in the end of this year you can look happy and feel at ease at all the amazing things i know you’ll accomplish

@clairelions my baby chichi :( i cant believe i didn’t get to meet you before, you are so incredibly talented, with all your beautiful edits with bright colors and cute flowers, i always feel so good looking at them!! thank you for always sending me cheerful messages and supporting me with your sweet compliments, you always melt my heart and make turn into a blushing mess. i wish you all the good to go your way in this year and that you can always see beauty even in the ugly places. i love you, thank you for being this source of warmth always

for those whom i don’t have the courage to approach, to speak regularly or even interact, or that i interact just a little from time to time: know that i admire you from afar like an idiot and that i love you a lot

@dulcetjimin ♡ @jiminkirk ♡ @taehob ♡ @jungkookio ♡ @jeonjeongguke ♡ @jungkookjimins ♡ @vanillalattaes ♡ @cowjimin ♡ @prettymochi ♡ @bwisan ♡ @taesflower ♡ @jwimins ♡ @nochuu ♡ @busanbfs ♡ @safejimin ♡ @orayanno ♡ @jeonbia ♡ @velvethoseok ♡ @harunyany ♡ @je0n ♡ @cutiepiebts ♡ @bts420 ♡ @caughtinjimin ♡ @jikookdetails ♡ @jikook-love ♡ @parkejimins ♡ @astro-child ♡ @berry-happy-tokki ♡ @dyegu ♡ @heyhosam ♡ @kainks ♡ @mochismile ♡ @yxxn-g1 ♡ @chimhyung ♡ @ddochi-jimin ♡ @yourpinkpill ♡ @jiminshugs ♡ @jiminslattae ♡ @hobiini ♡ @jjksamor

and for the two of you, who are always so supportive of me and the absolute sweetest: thank you, i love you so much, and i hope there’s only happiness when you think about yourselves

@haileyjikai @jikookaddicted

i know that in the end of the day this is just a blog, and most of us will follow different paths along our lives and are very likely never going to meet in real life – but nonetheless, i feel like none of this matter, bc i feel like it’s such a gift to be able to share so many things and feelings with people from all around the world in a way they become part of your daily routine. even though we may go different ways one day, i feel like i can never forget you guys, bc you all leave always such a great impact on me. bts got to make me experience a lot of incredible things – and one of them was to know that there are such beautiful people like you all in the world. i love you 💘

#my heart is open here dfhkf #cant believe i finally did this #i feel a lot exposed but thats okay bc i also feel happy #i had a lot of love to give to yall and it was kinda bottling inside of me #thank you for being here #i love you all so much #happy new year!!!#its still january 1st here!!!!#i mean its 11pm but its the thought that counts sdbmdhdk #appreciation post #okay im happy but im kinda embarrassed i feel like go and hide now #this took me all day sdjfkbsm #sorry if i forgot anyone #im actually so scared i did #im sososo sorry #i will go check later i need go eat something now shdjf #anyway im rambling right i should just go and shut up now #reposting this shit bc tumblr hates me

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