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nanobyting · 2 years

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ii.

This isn’t right. This isn’t right.

His ears are ringing with rapid gunfire and the sound of screaming. His nose is being assaulted with the smell of napalm and burnt bodies. Wet earth pressing against his back, not helping how the sticky heat makes his clothes cling to his skin and -

“Bell,” he croaks, straining to look down, finally getting his bearings and realizing the weight on his chest was her. He puts a hand on her hip to jostle her awake. The blast of that explosion must have -

Her side is wet.

He pulls his hand back and blinks at the bright red liquid dripping down his arm.

He realizes he’s lying in a pool of her blood. “Bell!” He quickly moves to get up, gently grabbing her to lay her down next to him.

Her eyes flutter open and searches her surroundings - and he can tell the moment the pain hits her. She hisses while he tears open her jacket, then she whimpers when he reveals the wound to fresh air. She still hasn’t said a word, but her body’s reacting on its own as she grabs onto his wrist to anchor herself, needing to hold onto something for dear life.

She’s in shock.

“Bell, stay with me,” he says, not wasting a single second because it looks bad. It is bad. Something ripped open her right side when she got in front of him to protect him - she didn’t have to do that. She always does this. Gets herself in damn trouble for me. Gets in the line of fire for me. He never asks her to do this. She always acts as if he was the most precious damn thing in the world. Says things like life wouldn’t be worth living without him.

He hurries to get the gauze out of his pack and presses it against her wound to stop the bleeding, ignoring her cries. “I know, I know,” he shushes her, trying to keep his own nerves steady as he glances around to make sure that they weren’t going to get shot at while Bell was -

“Russell,” she whines, glancing down at her body again and reaching for his red red red hands, “it’s not - ”

“Move your hands, Bell, move your hands,” he growls. Too much blood. It isn’t stopping. Seeping through the gauze. Can’t stitch it up when it’s still bleeding like this.

“Cipher.”

A whimper.

“Stay with me, Bell. Just focus on me. You’re gonna be alright.”

“Cipher.”

“Russell.” She barely gets his name out and it makes him finally snap his attention to her even though he doesn’t want to.

“CIPHER!”

They aren’t in Vietnam anymore. They’re on the cliff side of Solovetsky and the Arctic air is burning the inside of his lungs as it carries the scent of Bell’s perfume mixed with the blood seeping out of her chest. She’s gasping, struggling to breathe because her lungs are filling with blood - she’s drowning in her own blood.

He stares, frozen in place. His hands felt so warm against her -

“It’s not - ” she gurgles, coughs, and spits, “ - it’s not your fault.”

“Stop,” he murmurs, staring at her as his hands tremble. Her own hands reach to settle on top of his, trapping him in this moment. “Bell, you - “

“Heroes - “ she led him and “ - have to make - ” stood at the edge of the cliff “ - sacrifices.” and fell.

06͠7 ̶06͘6͏ ̷0̷40͟ ̛0̴62 06҉0҉ 040 0͟66͡ ͞14̶1 04͟0 ҉0͞67̶ ͜0͞66͜ 040 ̴0͜66̴ 06͢6͘ ̧0͡40̸ 0͝6͠7҉ ̨06͘5͏ ͠040 0͏62́ ͝06͡0 ̴0̢40͟ 0͞6̷6 ͡14͝1 040 ͜0̨6̷7 ͘06͝2͘ 0̡4̀0 ͞0̶6͠2 0͘6̴0̴ ́04̧0 0̶6́7 0̶65 040̨ ̛066͝ ̛145҉ 04̛0̨ ̵0̕6̵7 06̶1͟ 0̡40 0̀6̴2͢ 0͜60̡ ̨0͘4͏0 ̶0͠67͢ 141 ͘0̶4̶0̕ 066 0̛62҉ 0͢40 ̛06̨6̴ ̵0͡65͡ ̶0̛40̀ ͡0̛67 0̸6̀2 04̷0 ̧0̵62 ̵0҉6̨0 04̕0 0͜6̨6 0̀6̸7 ̴040 ͜067̸ 06͠6̨ 040 ̴067͘ ͜1͜4̨1̨ 04͡0̧ 06̨7 06̢2́

The world comes crashing down around him.

With Bell dying in his arms, peering up at him as if he was her whole world while her blood seeped deep into his skin, into his bones, into his soul.

“This isn’t how it happened.”

He looks up and there’s Bell standing over them. Healthy, no gaping wound in her chest, looking at him and her dying body with concern. Her hand reaches for him by the shirt and he’s pulled up and back into his living room, panting heavily as he stares at her blankly.

Bell sighs and caresses his face. He leans into her touch.

“How many times have I told you? You can’t keep re-creating these fake memories, Cipher.”

“It isn’t fake,” he says, “not to you.”

She smiles, amused. “It’s fake to you.”

“No - it was real to you. I was there,” he breathes, “I was there. We made those memories together.” Halcyon days in Vietnam. How did she make memories where she yearned for those days in Vietnam? All because it was a time where she supposedly met him - where they grew close. In that corner of the world, far away from anything they knew, surviving against all odds together.

She considers him and drags the back of her hand down his cheek that has him shuddering. “Not those memories,” she says, “memories of me dying.”

“No,” he says urgently, “no. You - when he was scrambling your fucking brain, you kept - you kept going off script and trying to kill yourself in the scenarios.”

“I did?”

“You did.”

“While protecting you?”

“Yeah.”

“... What does that mean?”

“... I don’t know.” Bell frowns and he grabs onto her hands.

“You feel guilty. That’s all. You shouldn’t keep forcing yourself to go through those scenarios, Cipher.”

“I’m not forcing myself.”

She takes his hands in hers and squeezes them tight. Steps closer and tilts her head back to look up at him. She stares into his blue eyes and he wonders what she sees. Some days he wonders if she preferred him or who he used to be.

“You should rest, Cipher.”

He stares into her. Those green eyes. He feels like they were brighter when she was alive. Sometimes her smiles wouldn't reach her eyes these days. He leans down to kiss her only to be stopped by her fingers pressing against his lips. He frowns and narrows his eyes at her.

“Don’t play this game,” she murmurs, “you always regret it.”

“You said you’d do anything for me.”

“Cipher...”

“Were you lying?”

“Of course not.” He stares at her, expecting more. He always expects more out of her. She doesn’t squirm like she used to. “I would never lie to you. I love you.”

“Show me, then.”

Bell tilts her head, the corner of her lips raising just a bit as her eyes squint with amusement. “You want me to?”

“Yes.”

“How badly?”

“More than anything.”

She laughs and presses against him as he wraps his arms around her tighter. “Oh, Cipher,” she sighs happily, lifting a leg up behind her as she wraps her arms around his neck, “what would you do without me?”

She licks into his mouth and he buries himself deep inside her with no hopes of crawling back out.

#my writing #point of no return (side b)#im just throwing random things together bc i couldnt get this scene out of my head which isnt really related to point of no return #but it could be #and almost has a parallel #snippet #cipher wishing he was a corpse too so he can bury himself in her 😩😩😩 who said that #SDIGHSDHG #dont take that seriously that pick up line has been stuck in my head all day #also yes those numbers aren't actually random this time #if you wanna solve it octal > hexadecimal > rot13 #cipherbell #if this feels all over the place that's because it is and i wrote it over like ... some days and just filled it with #whatever mood i was feeling iSDHGSDG #russell adler #adlerbell #bell

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dykealloy · 5 months

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ripple effect legacy // my tears are becoming a sea, M83

#weaving parallels but god at what cost #something something luffy inheriting the will of a burnt out sun #something something the things we leave behind (broken promises. pain. little brothers. cool fire punch moves)#see the significance of ace is that he spends his whole life asking 'should i even have been born' and then through the positive #impact he has on everyone around him he creates a continuing cycle of change where people reach out a hand to help others #he said 'im not sure i deserve to live' and then became the most remembered and loved and sorely missed dude in one piece #like it's almost comedic how luffy keeps finding his big brother in the stories and best qualities of all the people he comes across vs.#people who knew ace and keep seeing pieces of him in luffy #anyway happy new year portgas d. ace trauma be upon ye~#one piece #op #portugas d ace #portgas d ace #asl brothers #yamato #wano spoilers #one piece spoilers #CJ's edits #amv #monkey d luffy #straw hat luffy #monkey d. luffy #portgas d. ace #CJ's op watch-through

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anakirui · 10 days

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hot take ??

the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.

it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)

anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.

they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.

for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.

for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.

their insecurities are incredibly similar.

in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.

in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.

just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.

now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.

for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.

mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.

tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.

and even then, there's some overlap.

tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.

mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.

and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.

mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.

tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.

mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.

tsukasa has not yet cut his.

#project sekai #colorful stage #prsk #tsukasa tenma #mafuyu asahina #mafukasa #theres also obvious ones im sure you all know. like how theyre the sole sekai creators #or their designs paralleling eachother (color schemes of their eyes and hair)#or how theyre both connected to the moon and bunnies #and how theyre connected by a piano with a moon design thats only shown up in mafuyus 2nd mixed and tsukasas 2nd mixed... where they had #their first mixed events together #or how they both easily overwork theirselves #or how theyre almost always projecting onto other people as if their experiences are the norm #ex: tsukasa with rui in wonder halloween and mafuyu with niigo in main story #I CAN GO ON ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS AS YOU CAN SEE .#EDIT: HERES SOME MORE THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER AT 12 AM LAST NIGHT #theyre both connected to apples! points at tsukasa in fixer 2dmv and points at mafuyu2 #literally all of their vocaloids parallel eachother.#wxs and n25 miku have a childlike sense of curiosity #wxs and n25 rin are based off someone that isnt them for the most part (saki and ena)#wxs and n25 len are both anxious and pessimistic (in island panic... wxs len has a conflicting pov from meiko and wants wxs to just stay in #the sekai instead of being stuck out on an island... which is kinda escapist as hell)#wxs and n25 meiluka have conflicts that are very similar. n25 meiluka represents mafuyus inner conflict between isolating herself and #helping everyone because she didnt know what would be better #and wxs meiluka is the conflict between tsukasas ambition and his fatigue #which is why wxs meiko always acts like wxs luka is a burden whenever she falls asleep— tsukasa himself wont rest #not when he thinks it will burden other people #and wxs and n25 kaito are both driving forces in tsukasa and mafuyu accepting their true feelings #(although tsukasa is kinda not where mafuyu is yet i think you get what i mean)

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puppetmaster13u · 3 months

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Prompt 232

Once more thinkin of These Series of AU/Prompts, where the Class pulls a Tiamat. Becomes Giant Hydra Dragon. But with some inspiration from @radiance1's Blob King AUs. Specifically also the dragon ones.

Now, the nine of them are admittedly far older than they once were. Far older than most of the people outside the cage they were tricked into all those years before, exhaustion seeping into their bones as their ectoplasm was siphoned away.

Yet no matter how much the GIW drains away- if they're even called as such anymore- they never run out. If anything, at least from what they've noticed, unable to do much of anything else in this pit, this tank of green and red, they seem to be making more.

Their recollection of being separate, of having separate bodies have long since slipped away in exchange for keeping memories of their families and friends long gone now. Perhaps they're in the zone, as ghosts, but perhaps not.

Days feel like both seconds and years, words falling away as their Core hums as one. Sometimes a Blob ghost manages to find its way inside- the trap designed not to stop things from getting in, but to prevent them from leaving.

They always disappear whenever the ecto is taken away, not having enough to continue holding on to a physical form. But... the blobs don't stay gone. Their own ecto brings them back, tiny forms almost mimicking their own.

It's something to distract them, something to actually do besides growl at the figures beyond the barriers around them. The blobs don't speak, don't make more than squeaks, but it's something. Almost like dozens of toddlers floating around, becoming more and more draconic in shape with every siphon.

Do their captors realize, they wonder, how they've made them all stronger than they were even before? Do they realize what they've done, creating this loop of ever-growing power?

No, Star giggled, pink and gold scales shimmering as she bobbed her head in amusement, Paulina's darker purples following.

They don't know, Wes agreed, dark amusement echoed by both Sam and Dash, fangs flashing amidst the liquid. The trap would not be able to contain them for much longer, they all knew. They could feel it, how the siphon stuttered with every run.

It wouldn't be long now. They had waited three hundred years for the chance to escape- they could wait for a few days more.

...

Though they won't complain about an early prison break if those alarms are anything to go by.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #the class pulls a tiamat #blob ghosts are dragons au #It's not the league who has broken into the lab and I almost feel bad for the villains who opened the blast doors #Reminder of who is part of the hydra: Danny Sam Tucker Wes Dash Paulina Kwan Valerie & Star #I am tempted for the hydra to give off scp 682 / undead vibes when they first burst free from the now cracked open doors #Like it gives off the vibe of These Doors Being Closed For A REASON #There's also the fact that the hydra was said to guard an entrance to the afterlife and I'm not NOT saying there's parallels with the porta #I'm also not saying the ennead wouldn't eat a GIW person or three on the way out #And while a rogue or several might have opened the door something That Big isn't going to go unnoticed #Especially if it's bursting out of the ground or out of a mountain #Morally gray ennead because they've lost everything save for their lil blobs & aren't afraid of taking a little retribution #go wild

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lloydfrontera · 11 months

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i for some goddamned reason hadn't realized the inherent homoerotism involved in the mana manipulation that javier and lloyd do on each other when the need arises but like. damn. lloyd literally has to stop himself from moaning outloud when javier infuses his own mana into him, comparing it with a massage, a day at the sauna and a warm bowl of soup all at the same time. fellas is it gay to pour your own life force into your friend, gently coaxing his body into repairing itself while permeating his entire body with your own essence?? and then they have the audacity of bantering about how well they know each other like no shit you guys you've quite literally explored each other's bodies at this point lmao

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #llojavi #i missed lloyd almost moaning when javier gives his own mana to him which honestly. embarrassing of me :/#sir you are lucky you stopped yourself just in time you are literally in front of the queen abdhsjdbsk #add to this that it's canon there has to be consent between these two before they can absorb and give away mana to each other #and the parallel is exquisite #javier asrahan

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chirpsythismorning · 8 months

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In s5 when Mike and Will are having their big final boss argument and Will says, Just forget it, Mike! It’s not your fault, okay!?!!

#byler #st5 #st5 predictions #like it could be in any context of their fight #having nothing to do with the implications of that line in s3 #and yet bc that same line in s3 was a blurt of sorts #the parallel would just hit you the instant it hits mike 😭#idk I’m excited for the s5 fight…#I feel like it’s gonna come after an almost kiss in a previous episode #and then lead up to their first kiss…#like final boss fight has to end in a kiss I’m sorry it just has to #or lead up to a kiss #how else are they going to do a third and final fight and not make it feel repetitive #it needs to end with results this time!!#at the very least give us an almost kiss with interruption (human or supernatural idc)#also I want tears and yelling and 🥺

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conflictofthemind · 17 days

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Finally reading the book and Mike Wheeler is clearly inspired by Calvin from a Wrinkle in Time (which is a known major inspiration for the show as a whole and Season 5). Walk with me.

The "I hate myself" part makes me go a bit nuts here because. Wow! The alleged Scriptgate line.

Calvin is one of the three child protagonists from a Wrinkle in Time, and Meg's (somewhat) love interest. He is the inverse of Meg, a popular guy at school and star of the basketball team who achieves academically. But his home life is fraught and cold, and his needs are neglected by his parents. I have a bit more analysis on the Wheelers/Byers dynamics and a Wrinkle in Time here. He is 'different' like Meg and Charles; but he hides his true self in order to fit in at school. It's only through meeting the two throughout the novel that he embraces his 'different' status.

He is also gifted in communication, much like how Mike is known for delivering his rallying speeches Both Charles and Meg express disbelief at his assertions that he is odd at first because of how he appears to them, in a similar way to how El does in Episode Three. They face a lot of bullying at school because their differences are overt, and they don't attempt to hide them.

I really believe the Duffers' use of the word "different" is in direct reference to aWiT - it appears thirty times within the novel and Being Different is such an important motif that it got an OST (that I expect to return soon for Mike) in Season Four.

The framing for the two times Will and El mention their differences is almost exactly the same - both characters on the left, with Mike left obscured in the background, his expression hidden and left out of the conversation. It's such great foreshadowing that this will get brought up again; the context and meaning of the shots will change when we finally learn that Mike is different after all. He was just incredibly good at pretending not to be.

Bonus:

Hey uh..... why does Calvin's outfit in the 2003 Disney adaptation looks so familiar? I mean remove the green sweater and...

#mike wheeler #a wrinkle in time parallels #byler #the costuming has me going a bit bananas because what is that #its almost 2am. i have so many thoughts sorry for spamming posts recently. gn

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anthurak · 1 year

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Okay wait a minute, let me get this straight...

Raven uses a sword with a revolving dust-cartridge.

Grew up in a controlling and abusive family environment.

Has often tries to hide behind a mask of self-important superiority.

Wears heels.

And is almost definitely the shortest member of her team.

I’m sorry, are we still under any kind of impression that Raven ISN’T totally the Weiss of Team STRQ?

#rwby #rwby rambling #rwby parallels #Raven Branwen #Weiss Schnee #Team STRQ #Team RWBY #RWBY-STRQ parallels #i feel like NOBODY has ever pointed out that raven is almost DEFINITELY the shortest among team strq XD

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todderwodders · 8 months

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I think it’s interesting that you get to see all three chosen’s living spaces and like for all their bravado they live empty, pathetic lives and the game goes out of it’s way to instill the idea that they’re all desperate to please their gods in ways that are dark mirrors, or at least narratively parallel to our companions. We are a hair away from being our dark other, brother

Except for karlach.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #the dead three #spoilers #I think the only chosen who deviates is Kethric and even then you could argue that he could be a foil to Halsin or minthara #Orin and durge is obvious but Orin and shadowheart and lae’zel also have parallels #wyll and gortash are 1:1 on leaning so hard on fairy tale cliches and subversions that it almost makes your head spin #astarion is self aware that his entire life is being controlled by a god like figure and the chosen are simply Oblivious #Gale and gortash meet your desperation for love dressed up as a god complex #karlach and her loyalty that inevitably bites her in the ass ala Orin #Jaheira and minsc are just here #Orin the red #Enver gortash #Kethric thorm #karlach has … other issues I’m surprised no one has addressed yet #wonderful personality! completely shafted by plunging into a revenge plotline with very little gratification or leeway in choice

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imminent-danger-came · 8 months

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(3x10 Samadhi Fire) - (3x11 This Imperfect World)

You! You ruined everything! All that time you spent locked away, and you haven't changed a bit! I'm going to finish you, like I should have done a long time ago! I told you—you should have stayed buried.

#oHhhHHoOhHhhh when Wukong's past catches up to him #The fact that Macaque knows from the start that Wukong is going to end him VS LBD who doesn't think he'll do it initially #*sigh* I miss LBD #Like that's why she chose a little girl to inhabit right #LBD tries to pick the best pawns she can #''This body in particular has been quite useful'' haha thanks minor scale #Like the fact that she almost loses because she assumes Wukong wouldn't be able to kill an innocent child #Lol #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk SWK #lmk Macaque #lmk LBD #lmk parallels

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coastaltowned · 1 month

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ttpd song predictions: fortnight (ft. post malone)

how quickly things change in the time of two weeks, how fast our time ran out of the hourglass, how it can only take a fortnight to end a relationship, how much time should you give yourself before you decide to blow up your life? what happens when the fortnight ends and you wake up as someone new? time's up, time to go, time to end it, time to move on.

#tswiftedit #taylorswiftedit #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #taylor swift lyrics #ttpdpredictions #just for fun to see how wrong i am bc taylor always plays on words and does different things w themes #this song is hard bc i really don't know what it will sound like - a post song probably but even that has a lot of range within it #i almost think it'll be snappy and sharp to open the album with #but who knows!#if u guys have any suggestions for lyrical parallels w other ttpd songs potentially pls tell me i love guessing #mine #taylor

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agendratum · 1 year

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i can never get over how jumpy pete was in this scene (even if these are 3 different types of jumpy)

#kinnporsche #kinnporscheedit #kinnporschesource #pete #tuserchlo #usertph #userboots #tuserkatherine #mt #gifs #sometimes i think about how my guy doesn't flinch at gunshots #but has this reaction to kitchenware being dropped on the floor #and i just get sad #also the ghostly almost non-existent parallels between tankhun and vegas in relation to pete my beloved #temporary tag

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leverage-ot3 · 1 year

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okay but the parallel between hardison using eliot as an example of redemption to harry in the panamanian monkey job and eliot saying he could never be redeemed (and he’s made peace with that) to sophie in the finale

#something something everyone can see how eliot has been redeemed but eliot. eliot will never believe it #something something hardison looks at the man who has stood beside him and protected him for over a decade and seeing him as redeemed #hardison watching him risk his life day after day after day month after month year after year #and knowing in his heart that this is what they stand for. this is what they strive for. to do better. to be better #and to hardison? eliot is the epitome of that #it breaks his heart that eliot can’t see that #parker wants to shake him he’s being stupid ‘ELIOT CANT YOU SEE’ ‘YOU ARE GOOD’#hardison as he joins in shaking eliot: ‘YOU ARE A GOOD MAN PLS BELIEVE US WE ARE RIGHT UR WRONG’#insert me with the always sunny conspiracy corkboard with red string connecting these two plot elements #i’ve connected the dots #i’ve connected them #I am Not posting this at peak time or anything I just had this thought just now and almost lost it #leverage redemption #leverage ot3 #meta #parker x hardison x eliot #eliot spencer meta #eliot spencer #leverage #parallels #the panamanian monkey job #the crowning achievement job #leverage redemption s2 #leverage redemption s1 #leverage redemption 2.13 #leverage redemption 1.02 #mine #people pls like this show me I’m not going crazy

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nightswatchdisbandmentera · 20 days

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Something rubbed against his leg beneath the table. Jon saw red eyes staring up at him. “Hungry again?” he asked. There was still half a honeyed chicken in the center of the table. Jon reached out to tear off a leg, then had a better idea. He knifed the bird whole and let the carcass slide to the floor between his legs. Ghost ripped into it in savage silence. His brothers and sisters had not been permitted to bring their wolves to the banquet, but there were more curs than Jon could count at this end of the hall, and no one had said a word about his pup. He told himself he was fortunate in that too. His eyes stung. Jon rubbed at them savagely, cursing the smoke. He swallowed another gulp of wine and watched his direwolf devour the chicken. Dogs moved between the tables, trailing after the serving girls. One of them, a black mongrel bitch with long yellow eyes, caught a scent of the chicken. She stopped and edged under the bench to get a share. Jon watched the confrontation. The bitch growled low in her throat and moved closer. Ghost looked up, silent, and fixed the dog with those hot red eyes. The bitch snapped an angry challenge. She was three times the size of the direwolf pup. Ghost did not move. He stood over his prize and opened his mouth, baring his fangs. The bitch tensed, barked again, then thought better of this fight. She turned and slunk away, with one last defiant snap to save her pride. Ghost went back to his meal. Jon grinned and reached under the table to ruffle the shaggy white fur. The direwolf looked up at him, nipped gently at his hand, then went back to eating.

Jon I, AGOT

It's interesting that GRRM would dedicate several paragraphs to a seemingly unimportant exchange between a boy, his wolf, and an unfriendly third party. But there's just something about this passage that has continued to nag at me for years since I first read it because, considering how heavy handed GRRM was with the foreshadowing in AGOT, this feels important.

Jon is sitting at table full of squires - aka would be knights. We don't really know who they are or what families they belong to, but it's safe to assume that they come from a certain level of privilege; this is considering the fact that it cannot be financially easy to be a squire. And these boys already have a slew of tales detailing all their previous knightly exploits regarding "battle and bedding and the hunt" which suggests that they have some capital. So you have boys who will soon be men. And they will, presumably, become men of some power.

These lads eat their fill of the chicken until only half remains, which Jon then gives to Ghost. The direwolf's name is not so important here but what he represents is. Throughout the series, we're told that Ghost is reminiscent of the weirwood trees (because of his red eyes and white fur). He's stated to be of and from the Old Gods and since he's a personification of the weirwoods, he might as well be one of them. It's almost as if Jon is presenting whatever is left on the table to the Old Gods (Ghost). He lets them devour his offerings while he silently watches. And the motif of watching is so interesting here because it's kind of like Jon takes on a stewardship role - to watch over land/people/etc. He oversees Ghost eating the chicken, so he's overseeing whatever has been given to the Old Gods. This is not new imagery to his arc. As a brother of the Night's Watch and eventually its leader, we have several instances where he leads people to adopting the Old Gods in some fashion. In ADWD, several recruits swear their vows to the Old Gods while he watches on as their Lord Commander. The Old Gods are also primarily of the North and we're told that Jon has more of the north in him than his brothers; interesting that this also includes Bran. So perhaps whatever is being offered to the Old Gods relates to the North.

We must also note that Jon initially thinks to give only a small portion, a leg, before pivoting and providing the entire thing. It feels to me a bit like the process of carving up a kingdom or something similar. The lords (represented by the squires) take what they want and leave aside what they don't; or perhaps they have eaten to their fill and can take no more. Then when his time comes, Jon first considers a small piece of land/group of people before eventually absorbing all of whatever is left behind. The concept of carving up a kingdom rings harder considering that we have several callbacks to the ideals of kingship in this chapter. Robert, Jaime, Tyrion, and even Mance though we don't know it yet, all play into this. And then there's the aspect of Jon letting the chicken slip between his legs which evokes birth/fatherhood, a very curious choice when GRRM could've just had Jon place the chicken on the floor. So land/people are carved up and Jon then uses whatever is left to birth his own type of kingdom. And this kingdom is one for the Old Gods.

This also touches on something that has been quite prevalent throughout Jon's arc. It's the concept of accepting the "others" or "those left over" who live apart from the accepted social norms. Arya (a tomboy), Sam (a gender non-confirming boy), the Night's Watch (criminals, extra sons, and men who have no future left or place to go), and even the wildlings are all examples of this. And Jon takes on a leadership/paternal role to every single one of them. He looks after them as a leader would/should. Sometimes, in the case of Arya and the wildlings, he's equated to a king. He's a steward/shepherd/king. There's messianic undertones to this:

Come unto me, all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

If you're familiar with Judeo-Christian tradition, you'll know that Jesus is often personified as one who spent the majority his time among the outcasts. The idea is that he came to save them too and that anew kingdom (or new earth depending on your translation) would spring up after the end of the world where he would forever rule as king; which presents the idea of a final king after the earthly ones are done away with. Now GRRM isn't so heavy handed with Christian allusions as other authors out there, but he does have a Catholic background and Jon is so overtly a Jesus figure. And in Revelation, Jesus is king and god at the very end....

One last thing: the mention of the mongrel who challenges Jon has always been rather interesting but confusing to me. A mongrel doesn't really relate to one specific type of dog. But it's interesting that Jon notes several roaming about where he is. They follow the serving girls who carry the food to be offered. Mongrels are used to describe antagonist/villainous groups in ASOIAF. Sometimes, they're used to describe slavers in Essos. But what's interesting is that most of the time, they're used to describe Euron's Ironborn especially in Victorian's POV. So I don't think the mongrel who challenges Ghost is a supernatural threat of death (i.e., the Others) but rather a human one. They represent those who are called to the scene once the lords have finished playing their games. It almost feels like a feast for (carrion) crows....

But it doesn't really matter because this mongrel isn't much of a challenge for Ghost. Though the mongrel is much larger, the direwolf is able to fend her off very effortlessly. Given that "mongrel" is used to describe Ironborn raiders, could this exchange between Ghost and the mongrel point to reavers or sea raiders who rise and fail challenge Jon kingdom? There is a historical King Jon Stark who did this....

When sea raiders landed in the east, Jon drove them out and built a castle, the Wolf's Den, at the mouth of the White Knife, so as to be able to defend the mouth of the river.[1][2] His son, Rickard, followed him on the throne and annexed the Neck to the north.

ref.

So this might shed some light not only on Jon's already published arc, but also on what we can expect in the future. We have some foreshadowing through Jon's ADWD dream that he will not only rise with the dawn (thereby live through the Long Night), but will be in a position to lead people (wildings in that chapter) to a new peace after a hard fought war. Also remember that the wildlings, rather enthusiastically, swear oaths to him as if swearing oaths to their king. In this instance, the supernatural (a dream of the war for the dawn) is followed by the natural/human. So perhaps this particular passage (and Jon's dream) can be used to predict that Jon comes out on top, and quite effortlessly too, as a leader. And he becomes a leader who rules by association with the Old Gods; or rules a kingdom for them.

To end, I think it's of note that this passage immediately precedes Jon's conversation with Benjen where he voices his desire to go out on his own - the hero's call to action. This is the adventure that's going to kickstart his growth as a man, warrior and most importantly, a leader. So it looks like before we even began, GRRM telegraphed how it would all end in just three short paragraphs.

#jon snow #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #ghost the direwolf #some random extra thoughts:#the aspect of fatherhood is closely tied to kingship as kings are often regarded to be the fathers of their nations #so we might see a parallel where jon-like dany-doesn't have children of his own physical body #but rather rules a kingdom as its symbolic father #think of how odin-a mythical parallel for jon-is called the all father because he is father to all men/lands #also it's interesting to me how kingship is a theme but it's almost like the actual theme is that of kings coming of going #but jon remaining and prevailing above all #we have robert who is a disappointing/bad king and his rule doesn't last very long and neither will his dynasty #jaime looks like a king and even if grrm didn't go through with his original ideas he was never meant to rule for long #in the new story jaime is symbolic of rhaegar a would be king whose time comes and goes leaving jon to pick up the pieces #then tyrion who stands “as tall as a king” but not quite! he still is not as tall as jon and tyrion also says in a later chapter #that soon he'll be even shorter than ghost + tyrion wasn't hand for long #mance who is hidden also has his time as king but it's very short lived and jon later absorbs his kingdom to make his own #so we have the wolf devouring the “left behinds” in a way but the interesting thing is this happens in reverse doesn't it #might Jon's new kingdom not only be made of remnants of the nw and wildlings but also have those left behind from the rest of the 7k?#it's possible since jojen tells us that once night comes all cloaks become black 🙂#so yeah this is all just more jon endgame king of winter/a new north propaganda lmaoooo

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