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#and I don’t have the answers yet and I’m not healed yet and I don’t know what I’m doing
goldkirk · 2 years
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There’s this thing I heard about it taking an average of 7 attempts for someone to leave an abusive relationship. I wasn’t in a domestic violence relationship but here’s my list of attempts to leave:
2015 - tried moving to college dorms with hope of staying out after that, couldn’t afford it
2016 - tried dropping out to work instead of continuing a major I hated. foiled by literally every concerned adult
2016 - tried transferring schools to the opposite side of the country, got talked out of it last minute
2016 - almost joined the Air National Guard
2017 - moved to a dorm hoping to stay out after that, couldn’t afford it
2017 - almost joined the Air Force
2018 - almost joined the Air Force again
2019 - tried getting into grad school on the opposite side of the country
2019 - spent one week trying to join the military again before I came to my own senses
2020 - ran away to my aunt’s house for a month
2020 - tried moving close by, stayed totally enmeshed
2021 - went partway down the path of getting a job in Texas just to get out
2022 - drove 1800 miles in two days with a car and a dog to a KOA cabin in nowhereville Washington with literally no plan
And somehow that one stuck!
If you’re in your list of attempts right now, keep going. Don’t give up. You’ll be ready one of these times and there’s a lot of the world open to you and ready to help you run when you finally can.
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heavenlyhischier · 2 months
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𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 | 𝐋𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬
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word count: 4.9k
summary: The one where you run into the guy who makes you believe in love all over again.
warnings: kissing, strangers to friends to lovers where they’re both a little oblivious, game mentioned is the game against philly with luke's ot goal
note: no angst?? who am i?? thank you maddy for answering my questions about luke so i could make this as accurate as possible ily
Someone once said that love comes when you least expect it and when you’re not looking for it, but you used to never believe that. You used to think that love was something you always searched for in others, that love was something everyone wanted, but you stopped believing that after it kept leaving you stranded and broken. You stopped looking for romantic love, choosing to believe that maybe it wasn’t meant for you, until one day when you’re quite literally trampled by the boy that made you believe in it all over again.
Walking the path near the water was one of your favorite pastimes since you’ve moved to the unfamiliar city. It was something that always brought you a sense of serenity whenever reality became a little too overbearing, or when you just needed a space to breathe after a particularly straining day at work. It was also your favorite way to start off your day whenever you had the time. Always a coffee in hand as you savored the peacefulness before the day truly began.
Today was one of the fortunate days when the weather wasn’t too cold that you needed more than a light jacket when you stepped outside. There weren't many people out and about as the sun had barely risen, but there were still a handful on their morning jogs or simply relaxing on the benches as they read a book. You had only looked away from the path in front of you for a brief second when you collided with something, or rather someone, and it sent your barely drank coffee to the ground, spilling all over your shoes.
“Shit,” You heard a boyish voice exclaim, his hands grasping at your biceps to keep you upright, “I’m so sorry!”
You knew it wasn’t on purpose, but you couldn’t help but grow a slight annoyance as you stared at the dropped drink. It wasn’t entirely his fault because you weren’t paying attention either and it wasn’t like you had just bought the coffee, you were just slow to drink it. Looking up at the person in front of you, your breath hitched in your throat when you saw one of the cutest guys you’d seen in the city yet. Though he looked slightly familiar, you just couldn’t place where you might have seen him.
He had a sympathetic, small smile on his face as he awkwardly dropped his hands back to his side. He had a beanie covering his hair, but there were a few strands of curls that had managed to poke out from the thick material. You were close enough to him that you can see a small scratch on the bridge of his nose that looked almost fully healed. He was quite a bit taller than you as well, his anxious eyes peering down into your own as you slowly blink at him.
“Are you okay,” He spoke again, gaze briefly filtering down to your shoes.
“Yeah,” You sigh as you step away from him, “I’m fine, but my shoes might not be.”
The both of you let out awkward chuckles before you bend down to grab the cup, slightly frowning to yourself as you bring it to your chest. When you meet his eyes again, he looks as if he was contemplating something by the way he keeps looking all around you. His hands were shoved in the pocket of his hoodie as he shifted his weight on his feet. The air is a little awkward as you think about just walking away, but he speaks before your feet ever move.
“Let me buy you a new drink,” He suggests, his voice slightly quieter than before as if he was nervous, “It’s the least I can do.”
“Oh, no you don’t have to do that,” You shake your head, “It’s no big deal. It’s just a coffee.”
“Please,” He tries, not wanting to press so hard enough he comes off desperate, “It looked almost full based on what I can see on the ground.”
You couldn’t help but notice his shy smile and hesitant eyes as he waited for your response. His cheeks and nose were slightly pink from the wind that refused to stop whipping at any exposed skin it found. He was sporting a nervous half smile as you mulled the option over in your head, trying to gather if there was any plausible reason to not let the cute boy with a crooked smile buy you another coffee.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” You agree, a smile of your own toying on your lips as you keep your gaze on him, “But only if you tell me your name first.”
“Luke,” He lightly chuckled, taking his hand out of his pocket, extending it for you to shake, “Yours?”
You gingerly took his hand in your own as you told him your name, ignoring the way his touch made your cheeks heat up and butterflies fill your stomach. You retracted your hand quickly, moving it to grasp the cup with both hands as you gestured for Luke to lead the way. You catch the way his eyes briefly dart to your cup before he began to walk the direction you had been coming from.
The two of you fell into a bit of an awkward conversation, him asking you if you were from the area and him telling you that he wasn’t either. He told you that he played professional hockey for the Devils and it clicked in your brain that that was why he looked familiar. You had seen him on TV, but you weren’t involved in the sport enough to put a name to his face. You teased him a little and playfully asked if he would get you tickets to a game, but the speed at which he said yes shocked even himself.
When Luke was handing you your new drink, that was when he told you that he was already running a bit late to some sort of meeting with his team and as much as he’d like to stay, he had to leave. You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little disappointed at the news, but you ended up exchanging phone numbers before he was rushing away, still not entirely looking where he was going. You watched him leave with a smile on your face and a sort of hope filling your chest that you hadn’t felt in a long time.
The two of you had began texting each other so often that people started to ask questions. Though it had only taken three days of you quietly giggling to yourself for your roommate to ask who the guy was. Whereas for Luke, it had only taken Jack until after practice the day he had met you. Jack had never seen his younger brother rush to check his phone while still in full gear before so quickly, and that was how he knew.
You didn’t see Luke for nearly two weeks after you had initially met courtesy of the stars, also known as his games and your work schedule, never aligning in the right way. When Luke had texted you after one of his games asking if you were free the following evening and you finally got to answer with a yes, you grew excited, and also extremely nervous.
He had given you the option to go out and do something, or to come over to his place and the two of you could order food and watch movies; just hangout, he had said. You ultimately decided on the second option since the weather had grown colder and you weren’t necessarily in the mood to join the crowds of people in the city. He subtly mentioned that his brother would be gone so it would just be the two of you, and the thought made your cheeks warm despite knowing he had no underlying intentions.
When you had texted Luke to tell him you had finally found a parking spot and he told you where to go from there, you had to take a small breather in your car to get yourself to stop shaking before finally going into the expensive looking building. You were so focused on taking in all of the little details inside the lobby that you weren’t paying attention to where you were going and ran straight into someone’s chest.
You let out a surprised squeal as you squeeze your eyes closed at the impact, fully prepared to go stumbling backwards, but you never do. You can feel their hands on your hips, the pads of their fingers slightly digging into the skin separated by the material of your shirt. The soft laugh that filtered through your eyes made your eyes snap open to see a familiar face sporting an amused smile.
“At least there’s no coffee this time,” Luke teases, keeping his hands on you a tad longer than necessary before he pulls them back to his own body.
“Shut up,” You mumbled, hoping he didn’t notice the tinge to your cheeks, “I was looking at the stupid fancy decorations. I didn’t know you were going to be down here.”
“I noticed,” He chuckled, “You thought I wouldn’t meet you down here?”
“Well, no. You gave me the apartment number so I expected to meet you there,” You shrugged, forcing your gaze away from him and to your feet.
“You would’ve thought it was weird if I didn’t give you the apartment number,” He raises his eyebrows even though you aren’t looking at him, “Besides, sometimes people have trouble finding the door. It’s a little confusing.”
When you had reached the floor his apartment was on and saw that it was only one big hallway, you couldn’t help but give him a confused look. It wasn’t confusing at all, especially given the fact that his door was only the second one on the left. You could tell he was purposely avoiding looking in your direction as he pushed through the door, holding it open for you to slip inside, and you chose to let it be.
The rest of the night was spent with the two of you talking about anything that possibly came to mind once you got through the brief bout of awkward tension, and you quickly found that Luke could talk forever. He talked about his teammates and family in a way that made you smile because it was clear he truly loved and looked up to them. You told him about your family back home and why you moved and the way he was hanging on to every word made you flustered because no one had ever cared enough to listen to you that way.
By the time the night was winding down, you were close enough to him on the couch that your thighs would brush together and his arm was slung around the cushions behind you, but not touching you. There was a movie playing on the tv in front of you, but you would be lying if you said you were paying attention to it. All you could think about was how things with Luke flowed so naturally and how you hadn’t felt this comfortable around someone in so long that you forgot the feeling even existed.
The two of you began hanging out regularly after that, never doing anything more than something you would do with a friend, but you could feel your feelings for him grow with each passing day. It started off as small notions and things you could brush off, but then you found yourself thinking of him no matter what you were doing. You were always seeing something that reminded you of him or something that made you think ‘oh, Luke would love that. I can’t wait to show him’. However, you were far too scared to let yourself believe that he would ever feel the same, so you swallowed those urges and went on as if nothing had changed.
When Luke had asked if you would be interested in going to one of his games, you thought nothing of it. You had told him that you would gladly go, but you would only need one ticket since your roommate worked most evenings and you didn’t necessarily have anyone else to go with. He told you not to worry about that and he would figure something out for you before he asked for your email to send the ticket. What he meant by that, you weren’t sure, but you didn’t ask questions.
You asked your roommate to help you with your outfit before she left for work that day, wanting to make sure what you wore wasn’t too much but also wasn’t sloppy. Once she had settled on something that adhered to your standards, she managed to leave enough time for her to help with your hair as well. She could tell that you were nervous based on the way your hands were constantly fiddling with each other and by the way your already clumsy habits seemed to increase by the second.
You weren’t entirely sure why you were so nervous. It wasn’t like this was the first time you were hanging out with Luke, and it surely wasn’t going to be the last. For some reason, him inviting you to one of his games felt different, but then it made you queasy because you began to think about how many girls he had invited before. By the time you were on your way to the arena, you had managed to calm yourself down enough that your heart rate was almost back to normal and your self sabotaging thoughts had been long forgotten.
Luke had taken the liberty of reserving parking for you, which you tried to deny but he said he had already done it so there was no room to argue. The parking garage was full of people in various jerseys for both teams as they made their way into the arena with you following suit because you had virtually no idea where you were going. You were so focused on looking at section numbers that you kept bumping into people, quiet apologies tumbling from your lips as you rushed away from their pointed looks.
Eventually, you found the correct section and showed your ticket to the usher at the top of the stairs before following his direction as you walked down. You stopped at the row your seat was in, your eyes falling on a group of women as they talked and laughed with one another, and you suddenly felt a wave of insecurity wash over you. They clearly knew each other, and you were there by yourself, and on top of that, they were absolutely gorgeous.
You took a deep breath before you shuffled down the row and to your seat, trying to ignore the way their voices grew quiet whenever you sat down. You could feel their eyes on you as you kept yours on the rink, watching as they set up the net and as others filed down towards their seats before the game started. It wasn’t until you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder that you turned to look at the one sitting right next to you.
“Hi,” One of them greeted, a bright smile on her face, “I’m Nicole!
You let out a shaky breath as you took her hand, giving her your name before returning her smile. The way her eyes lit up and she briefly glanced at the girls around her with a subtle smirk threw you off, but she was quick to ease your confusion as she moved her focus back to you.
“So you’re the girl Luke won’t stop talking about,” She playfully teases, “He made sure Jesper told me you would be coming and to look out for you so you weren’t alone.”
You can’t stop your face from heating up by being identified as ‘the girl Luke won’t shut about’, and judging by the way the other girls looked at you, it seemed to be a universal experience. They went around and introduced themselves, and their children, to you before they began to ask you questions. They started off with the easy questions such as your career, if you were in school, if you were from the area, if you were a big fan of hockey, but they quickly transferred the topic over to your relationship with Luke.
“We’re just friends,” You meekly said, eyes darting away from them as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth.
“But you like him,” Cat asks as she raises her eyebrows, though her tone hints that she knows the answer to that.
You briefly hesitated, not sure what your response should be, but you were very graciously saved by the music blaring through the speakers followed by the announcer's voice. You hastily turned towards the ice, thanking whatever higher being saved you from the embarrassment of admitting your feelings out loud.
As the game started, you caught yourself really only focusing on Luke rather than the puck itself. If he wasn’t on the ice, you were leaning towards the girls beside you to ask questions about the game you didn’t entirely understand. When he was on the ice, you flinched every time he got hit a little too hard, or when he would trip over seemingly nothing and fall on the ice. Although, you did know to join in on the collective booing whenever he was sent to the penalty box for a bogus call.
The game ended up going into overtime with Luke, his brother, and team captain on the ice as they stood opposite the Flyers players. Your hands were clasped together as you leaned forward, waiting with baited breath as the puck dropped on the ice. You watch as they skate towards their net, hastily trying to get the puck from the other team. You’re not sure who managed to get possession, but the next thing you know Luke is taking a shot that ends up in the net to win the game.
You jump out of your seat as you scream, your eyes not leaving Luke as he learns forward into a celebratory bow that you’re positive he did when he was at Michigan. A fact you knew after you asked him “if he was even good at hockey” and he proceeded to show you his highlight reels for the next hour. His team rushes towards him with giant smiles on their faces as they crowd around him, the arena filling with cheers so loud that it made your ears ring.
By the time things had calmed down, Nicole was the first to tell you that you were supposed to go with them down to the locker room. You walked through the arena with them, only briefly stopping to talk with security because you didn’t have the correct pass. The area outside the locker room was buzzing with life as various friends and family members of the team waited for the guys, their voices meshing with the loud cheers from inside.
The guys slowly began to trickle out of the locker room clad in their fancy and expensive suits, dopey grins on their faces. You stayed tucked between Cat and Nicole as they talked, but you were only halfway listening as you kept an eye out for Luke. Some of the guys you only vaguely remembered from pictures or videos Luke had shown you, but most you knew with confidence because of how often their names popped up in conversation.
When you finally saw a familiar head of curls walking through the doors, it was a bit embarrassing how quickly a smile grew on your face. He wasn’t even looking in your direction, instead animatedly talking to his brother who had seen you, a slight smirk on his face. The girls had stepped away from you, knowing looks on their faces when Luke finally looked in front of him to see you standing there waiting for him.
If they thought Luke was excited before, it was absolutely nothing compared to the look on his face when his eyes landed on you. He quickened his pace, leaving his conversation, and his brother, behind as he only focused on getting to you. You were painfully aware of the multitude of gazes on you, the attention beginning to slightly overwhelm you, but all of the worry disappeared the moment Luke wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him.
“Congratulations on your goal,” You mumble with your head pressed against his chest, your arms draped around the middle of his frame.
“Thank you for coming,” He quietly says, his hold on you subtly tightening as he lets out a deep breath.
You can barely hear the quiet whispers of those around you over the blood pounding in your ears, but you didn’t mind them anyways. Right now, all you wanted to focus on was the way his arms felt around you and the way his entire body seemed to relax under your touch. While physical touch with Luke wasn’t uncommon, it still gave you a small sense of hope that maybe everyone was right and maybe he did like you back after all.
“Jack, you might need somewhere to stay tonight,” You heard one of the other guys tease from behind him, making your face heat up as you stepped away from Luke. Though he doesn’t entirely break away from, keeping his arm slung across your shoulders as he turns to look at his teammates.
“Oh, I planned for it don’t worry,” He laughs as he shakes his head, “You picked a good first game to come to. Luke played his ass off.”
“I always do,” Luke quickly defended himself, his voice slightly raising and his posture straightening the smallest amount.
“Yeah, but you really did tonight,” Dawson pressed with a mischievous smile on his face.
“You guys are annoying,” Luke rolls his eyes, “I’m starving, so we are going to leave. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Your gaze snaps up to Luke as he briefly looks down at you with his usual half smile, but the sound of Jack calling out to him briefly moves his attention back to his brother. You let your eyes fall back to the ground in front of you, your mind running a mile a minute as you try to ignore the way he’s slightly grazing the skin above your collarbone with his fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat, the skin involuntarily raising in wake of his touch as you try to keep yourself outwardly collected.
“Hey,” Luke’s voice breaks through the thin barrier keeping you composed, “You ready? I figured I’ll drive so you can put the chipotle order in and we can pick it up on our way back to my apartment. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” You breathe out, giving him a small smile.
The two of you bid goodbye to the others, but not before they could pass on teasing comments or not so subtle winks as you passed by them. Luke had dropped his arm from your shoulders, a small absent feeling settling over you when he did. He asked you if you ended up having a good time and if the girls were nice to you, which you, of course, told him that you did and the girls were extremely welcoming and kind.
When Luke had climbed into the driver’s seat, he fished his wallet out of his pocket and handed you his credit card with the subtle threat that if he didn’t see a charge on his card for the food that he would buy you the expensive hoodie you had looked at a few days ago. You rolled your eyes as you took his card, not knowing that he had already bought the hoodie anyway and was waiting to give it to you.
By the time the two of you had picked up your food and were back at his apartment, your nerves from earlier had almost entirely disappeared and things felt normal again. Before the two of you started eating, he went into his room to change, and he returned with a random pair of sweatpants you had forgotten you bought last week and a shirt you’re positive was his. He waited for you to come back before he started eating like he always did, but you couldn’t help but feel like the air surrounding you felt slightly off.
You couldn’t tell if you were overthinking things or if something really was wrong because you still felt that way when the two of you moved to the couch. Luke still sat in his usual spot directly next to you, but he was barely focusing on the movie. His eyes kept darting around the room and he was nervously chewing on his bottom lip. You wanted to ask him if he was okay, but you kept your eyes on the TV until he spoke up.
“Can I tell you something,” Luke nearly shouted, slightly startling you out of your spot on the couch, “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just– I need to tell you something.”
Your eyes were wide and full of confusion, and slight panic, as you spoke, “Yeah, of course. You can tell me anything.”
You watched as he took a deep breath, slightly turning his body so he was facing you completely, and you couldn’t help but let an almost painful sense of worry envelope you. You were running over every possible scenario you could conjure in your mind, but they were all so negative that you had convinced yourself what he was going to say was too.
“This might screw everything up and if you never want to talk to me again, that’s fine, but I can’t ignore it anymore,” His voice was serious, yet thick with an emotion you refused to place, “After I scored tonight and all the guys were around me, all I could think about was you. Not even just you being there to see it, but celebrating with you. Seeing your smile. Hugging you. Kissing you.”
He said the last part so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him, but you did. Those two words rang in your ears as you looked at him, your mouth slightly dropped open as the ability to form a semi coherent thought in your mind suddenly fleeing. You wanted to respond, to tell him that it was all you could think about too, but your mouth and brain were far from cooperative.
Your silence was slowly suffocating Luke, and he quickly wishes he never said anything at all. To him, he knew it was a long shot that you felt the same way he did. Early in your friendship, you had let it slip that you weren't looking for a relationship and you wanted to focus on yourself. He knew that, but he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself anymore.
“I’m sorry,” He backtracks, shaking his head, “I shouldn’t have said anyth–”
You cut him off by surging forward and slamming your lips on his own, not trusting yourself to accurately say everything you felt. Luke’s reaction was almost instantaneous, his hands grabbing at your hips and pulling you onto his lip as he kisses you back. The metaphorical wall that had been keeping the two of you as friends crumbled beneath you as you pour everything you felt for him into one kiss.
His hands had moved to the small of your back, pulling you so close that there wasn’t even a millimeter of space separating you from him. Your hands were looped around his neck as your mouth moved against his own, and you couldn’t stop yourself from carefully grasping at his curls. Luke groaned against you, and he knew he had to stop before he took things too far on his living room couch.
He pulls away from you, his heavy breathing falling in sync with your own as he drops his head to your shoulder. You can feel his chest rise and fall against you as you attempt to gather your thoughts and tell yourself that this was real. That it actually happened and it wasn’t something you had dreamed up again, but you were suddenly shaken from your thoughts when Luke harshly snapped his head up to look at you.
“Wait, does this mean you like me back,” He asks, feigning a sense of seriousness, but you can see the smile threatening to shine through.
“You’re an idiot,” You playfully roll your eyes at him.
“Maybe, but I’m your idiot, ” He counters before his eyes slightly widen as he hesitantly continues, “Right?”
“Yeah,” You chuckle, a small smile decorating your face, “You are.”
The two of you spend the rest of the night wrapped up in the other, the movie halfway forgotten as you found yourself with your lips on his more often than not. You were selfishly thankful that Jack had been telling the truth when he said he found somewhere else to stay. The uninterrupted time you spent in Luke’s arms allowed you to truly soak it in. To relish in the fact that you had finally found someone who made you believe that love did exist, and you owed it all to one spilled coffee.
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bunny-yan · 5 months
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How about yandere king when the reader finally get stockholm syndrome?
Given how he’s taken away everyone that you’ve ever loved and prevents you from relying on anyone else for comfort and solace with their lives as collateral if a secret relationship ever gets found out, I can see Idris’s darling being completely in shambles, crying for him to comfort them. TW: Stockholm Syndrome, mentions of violence, slight depictions of depression, yandere themes — 
You’d been inconsolable for weeks now. 
Moping when you weren’t laying in bed, refusing to get up some days until you were threatened with being confined in that same position since you liked it so much. When you did leave the room you were despondent, distant with his attention and only offering noncommittal simple answers whenever he spoke to you. 
Idris supposed your newfound laziness wouldn’t bother him so much if you’d allowed him to take certain liberties, but whenever he tried to wrap his arm around your waist, brush a finger down your cheek, or make the barest amount of contact with your skin, you jerked away violently as if something was burning you. 
Of course he’d get angry, never learning how to handle rejection despite the experiences he’d had with you over the course of your lives, and you learned that his anger always came with pain. Your back had yet to heal from the last time you’d spoken brazenly, telling him to leave you alone. Despite the rage clouding his vision, he couldn’t help the amusement he felt at this new spark of rebellion he thought he’d long since crushed and even more confusing was the hope in your eyes whenever his punishments were meted out.
  He knew you weren’t stupid. Or maybe you were since you seemed to like provoking him so often these days, but he couldn’t understand why you were so desperate for him to hurt you. 
“My love?” he called out, a quick sweep through the bedroom revealed that you were right where he left you this morning. Curled up on your side looking as if you’d been devastated by the world. 
“It’s time to get up now. If you aren’t feeling well, surely a walk through the garden will lift your spirits.”
“Leave me alone.” came your muffled reply. 
He felt irritation strike the edges of his control, but he held back, thinking it prudent to find the cause for this misbehavior rather than giving you what you wanted. 
“Are you sick? Sit up so I can check.”
“Leave me-”
“Sit up.”
Something in his voice had your stomach lurching, forcing you to rise before you could tell yourself not to. Looking into his eyes, the predatory gaze softened as he walked to the edge of the bed. Putting a hand on your forehead, his eyes flicked between yours before he sighed. 
Your body began to relax when he pulled his hand away, but you choked on a gasp when his hand lashed out to grab your throat. His fingers gripped you lightly, feeling your racing pulse as your wide eyes stared into his narrowed ones. 
“You’re not sick. But I’m sure you knew that already.” Tapping a finger against your throat, you held your breath when his grip tightened ever so slightly. “What I can’t understand is why you’re so keen to make me angry.” 
Fingers clipped your chin before snapping your head up. “What’s gotten into you, my love?” His words caressed your ears and you shuddered, wanting to back away but not having the courage. Despite his placating tone, you noticed the wild look in his eyes. They promised to make you suffer if you did anything wrong. “I thought we’d moved past these childish tantrums. Why is your behavior regressing?”
Attempting to avoid his gaze, you tried to pull away from his grip, but his free hand lifted to rest lazily on your neck as the other cupped your cheek. 
“Don’t make me do something you’ll regret.” Despite his hissed threats, his thumb brushed across your cheek and for the smallest moment you let yourself relish in the affection. Barely leaning into his touch before jerking away with wide eyes that stared into his own expression slack in shock. 
Your heart dropped, wanting to deny that he’d noticed in that short time, barely a fraction of a second, but he’d seen it. 
Longing. A desire for something deeper, something that couldn’t be condensed in a word as simple as love. 
He’d never seen you make that expression before and from the panic in your eyes he was sure you didn’t mean for him to pick up on these carefully hidden emotions but he had. 
A grin stretched his expression, smile becoming unnaturally wide as his hands moved to grip your shoulders. You flinched from the pain, but it was nothing compared to the devastation you felt when he yanked you into an embrace, molding your body together and holding you as if he would never let you go. 
“Oh, my love.”
Your throat felt tight, fighting back tears as you begged yourself not to give in. He said it again, voice softer yet full of possessiveness as you choked on a sob. 
Trembling hands came up and wrapped around his middle, pulling him closer, desperate for his warmth to engulf you, terrified at the relief you felt when he only squeezed you tighter.
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lovebugism · 4 months
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I positively adore steeb and shy!reader 🥹 can I please request steve comforting shy!reader after her first experience with the upside down? he just vows to take care of her?
ty for requesting!! — steve takes care of you when you won't let anyone touch you after fighting vecna (shy!fem!r, hurt/comfort, friends in love, cw for mentions of bruises/injuries, 0.9k)
Hawkins Memorial Hospital smells overwhelmingly of bleach and very faintly of copper. You think the last bit might just be you, though. The scent of metallic blood and alternate-dimension muck hasn’t quite left you — even though you’ve scrubbed yourself raw in the shower, three times over.
You sit in Max’s vacant room while she’s out for surgery. Everyone else is either sleeping off the grief or getting themselves checked out. You can’t do either — too plagued by nightmares and too frightened at what the doctors might find if they look at you too close.
Steve finds you in the dim room, lit only by natural sunlight, standing in front of the small square mirror against the wall. You get lost in the splotchy bruises on your face until he knocks gently on the cracked open door. 
“Hey…” he greets, gently to keep from startling you.
You swallow down the fleeting panic. “Oh. Hi.”
“I, uh, I brought you some ice,” he tells you and steps further into the room, waving a plastic bag of chipped ice in his hand. “I saw you flinch when you wrapped up Dustin’s ankle. I figured your shoulder was bothering you…”
He’s visibly shy, but you’re impossibly shier. The deafening quiet and the proximity of your bodies are equally suffocating. You cower beneath the weight of it, wringing your clammy, cut-up hands together. “I’m— I’m fine. Thanks…”
Steve flashes you a wavering smile, lopsided and perfectly pink. He forces a laugh through an aching chest because you haven’t talked about what happened since you got back. He figured it was normal at first — that you were still grappling with the whole fighting monsters thing, but you haven’t let anyone touch you in days. The doctors have been begging to look you over since you got here.
“I just… I wanna help,” he confesses.
A pleading look swims in the deep honey of his eyes. It becomes impossible to turn him down. You’d have an easier time fighting Vecna, you think.
You swallow hard. “It’s… It’s my back,” you shrug, then grimace when the movement makes you ache.
You’d fallen through the decrepit floor of the Creel house and landed hard in the basement. The vines slithering there broke your fall. For the most part, anyway. The damn things would have swallowed you whole if Steve hadn’t been brave enough to jump in after you. 
“Can I see?” he wonders.
You hesitate for a moment. “I haven’t really— looked at it yet,” you murmur with a pained look twisting your features. You turn around when Steve approaches you. You feel his warm fingers along your back, knuckles skimming over your skin as he lifts your shirt with a slow and gentle touch — giving you ample time to stop him if you wanted.
When you don’t, he raises the fabric to the middle of your spine. The entire canvas of your back is darkened with a hardly healing bruise. The sight of it makes him grimace. “Jeez…” he mumbles before he means to.
Your brows pinch. “Is it bad?”
“We’re gonna need a lot more ice,” he answers with a forced laugh.
You giggle at his half-joke. The pretty sound makes him smile.
“You should probably see a doctor—”
“No,” you interject with a firm shake of your head, sterner than he’s ever seen you.
“But it’s— It’s kinda gnarly—”
“I’m fine,” you insist, despite the bruises darkening your skin. You turn back around to face him and avert your gaze at the pitiful look he gives you. You cross your arms over your chest and bite back a wince. “I’m okay, Steve. There’s other people to worry about right now.”
Max, for one. And all the rest of the kids for another. And the rest of the town who lost something in the earthquakes. You got off pretty lucky, all things considered — just a couple of bruises. And a cut or two. And some pretty gnarly nightmares. But that’s it.
Steve’s lip quirks in a sympathetic smile. “Here. C’mon. Sit down.”
He urges you to the made-up hospital bed with a hand hovering over your lower back. Your perch on the side of it, one leg curled beneath you, as Steve slides in behind you. He raises the hem of your shirt and presses the icepack against your shoulder blade, where the bruises seem darkest. His touch is gentle and feather-light, almost comically so. The bag of ice just barely grazes you.
“Is this okay?” he asks.
You nod. “Yeah… Thanks.”
His hand grows heavier when his touch becomes more confident. The stinging of the cold soothes the deep ache in your shoulder.
“No problem,” he says before swallowing down the nerves crawling up his throat. “I’m always here, you know? If you ever need anything.”
You exhale a sharp laugh through your nose. “I feel like you have better things to do than take care of me,” you murmur, wringing your hands into a knot in your lap.
“Well, I don’t.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“What?” he scoffs. “That I’d rather dote on you than do anything else?”
“Yeah,” you laugh and shoot him a playful look over your shoulder. You smile when you find him already grinning at you.
“Well, believe it, alright? ‘Cause you’re stuck with me now.”
“Am I?”
“Yep,” he answers, popping the p.
“We fought monsters together, and now we’re bonded for life?”
“Exactly.”
You flash him another glance, eyes glittering as you bite back a beaming grin. “Sounds miserable,” you tease.
Steve nods with a crooked smile. “Absolutely horrible.” 
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parkerslatte · 3 months
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Ends of the Earth
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Azriel x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.1k
Warnings: mentions of blood and death. mentions death of children.
Summary: Azriel comes back from a mission bloodied and bruised but tries to push his wife away. Y/N doesn’t let up and refuses to leave his side.
A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist
•••
Y/N was relaxing in her and Azriel’s bedroom when the front door opened. She pulled her eyebrows together in confusion, her husband was not meant to return until the morning. Dressed in only her nightgown and slippers, Y/N padded through the house and to the living area. Azriel stood in the doorway, his hand lingering on the handle, his gaze cast to the floor. 
“Az, honey?” Y/N said. 
Azriel didn’t respond as he slowly closed the door, locking it firmly behind him. That was when Y/N saw it, his leathers covered in blood, some of it was not even dry as it dripped onto the wooden floor below his feet. 
“Azriel,” Y/N said, stepping further into the room. 
Once again Azriel did not respond though his gaze did meet his wife’s. Y/N gasped at the sight. A large bloody gash stretched across Azriel’s cheek. Y/N rushed over and gently cupped Azriel’s uninjured cheek. “Sweetheart, what happened?”
Azriel pulled away. “It doesn’t matter.” He brushed past Y/N. “I’m taking a bath.”
For a brief moment, Y/N gaped at his cold behaviour. Usually he would welcome her with open arms, even if he was bloody and bruised. This sort of behaviour was unusual for Azriel. 
“Azriel, stop for a moment,” Y/N said, reaching to catch his hand. 
Just as her fingers brushed his, Azriel flinched away. “Please leave me alone, Y/N. I have had a long day.”
“I just want to make sure that you are okay,” Y/N said, stepping closer to her husband. “I can clean the gash on your cheek.”
“I said I’m fine,” Azriel said, his tone making Y/N flinch. 
Y/N watched him walk away and into the bathroom, the lock echoing through the house. Standing in the living room for a moment longer, Y/N returned to their bedroom. She could hear the water running into the bath before it shut off completely. Y/N wanted nothing more than to break down the door and go and wrap Azriel in her arms and pull him close to her. But she also recognised that Azriel might need some space for now. 
So Y/N picked up her discarded book and cracked it open and began to read, though her mind was faraway. 
***
It was not for another hour until Y/N heard Azriel exit the bathroom. As soon as he entered their bedroom, Y/N closed her book. She sat up from where she had been leaning against the pillows stacked against the headboard and focused on Azriel. The blood was washed from his face and body but the gash was still very prominent. The angry red surrounding it hadn’t faded even with his speedy healing. 
“Do you want to come and lay with me?” Y/N asked. “Or I could make us some dinner? I have not eaten yet.”
Azriel pulled on his pyjama bottoms, the plaid pattern was faded and worn. “I’m going to sleep in the guest room tonight.”
“Why?” Y/N asked. 
Azriel did not even lift his gaze to look at her as he answered. “I do not want to sleep in here tonight.”
His words sent a dagger to her heart. However, she pushed away her own feelings as she heard the tired and defeated tone of Azriel’s voice. “Honey, you can speak to me. You do know that, don’t you?”
“I don’t want to speak to you,” Azriel snapped. “I don’t know why you aren’t understanding about that.”
Y/N frowned. “I know that you are hurting, Azriel, I can see that haunted look in your eyes. But I am your wife, you do not speak to me like that. All I want to do is help you.”
Azriel sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I know and I’m sorry. I did not want to snap at you.”
Y/N patted the bed next to her. “Why don’t you come and lay with me? You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to, but I can tell how much you want to rest.”
Azriel met her eyes for a split second before nodding. He shuffled over to the bed and climbed on it next to Y/N. He laid on his side, but he soon began to shuffle closer to accommodate his wings and so he could get close to Y/N. Close enough to rest his head on her lap. The moment Y/N threaded her fingers through his hair, Azriel could not fight off the tears. 
“Oh, my love, what happened?” Y/N asked softly. 
“They were dead when I got there,” Azriel whispered. 
Y/N wrapped her arms around Azriel and pulled him closer to her, not his head nestled in the crook of her neck. In the time Y/N had known Azriel and had been married to him, she had only ever seen him breakdown to quite this level only a handful of times. Of course he would always try to talk through his emotions with her to the best of his ability, but at times like these, it was difficult for him. 
“They were all slaughtered,” Azriel whispered, clutching onto Y/N like a child would clutch onto a pillow, seeking as much comfort as he could. “Women, children, elderly fae, they were dead.”
Y/N lowered her head to his, pressing her lips against his skin. She didn’t need to say anything. She knew not to say anything knowing that if she did while Azriel was in this state, he would only revert back to complete silence. 
“Before I left, I heard someone calling out,” Azriel explained. “At first I thought it could have been one of the people I was sent there to stop, but the closer I got I realised it was an older woman. She was calling out for her grandson. Her entire torso was slashed open and there was absolutely nothing I could have done. She was so desperate to get to her grandson, to see her grandson one last time, that when she looked at me-” Azriel cut himself off as a sob broke through his speech. 
“Oh, sweetheart,” Y/N whispered, her own tears springing to her eyes. She hated seeing Azriel in this state, she knew what his job entailed, she always did and she was never put off by it. But the one thing she did hate was how it sometimes made Azriel feel. The few times he had come home, sobs wracking his body, she had been there to piece him back together, no matter how long it took. Y/N never wanted to think about what Azriel did before she met him. As far as she knew, Azriel had never opened up to anyone else about how he felt about particular jobs.
“When she looked at me,” Azriel continued once he calmed down, “she mistook me for her grandson. She asked me to hold her hand, to be with her when she passed. She was so happy to see her grandson alive and unharmed, I couldn’t tell her that he was laying just a few feet from her, his own torso slashed open. After she passed I found the men who did it and slaughtered all of them.”
Y/N stilled for a moment. She couldn’t begin to imagine how bad the scene must have been for Azriel not to leave anyone alive for questioning. 
“And everything got me thinking,” Azriel continued to Y/N’s surprise. “About what I would do if you were ever in that position. If you ever get hurt or killed, and I am not there to stop it. You shouldn’t be with someone like me, my presence puts you in constant danger.”
“Don’t you dare think that, not even for one second, Azriel,” Y/N said. “Yes, it is true that there will be enemies of yours that know the best way to get to you is through me. I knew the risks when I married you, but that did not stop me because I love you. And I know that if I fail to protect myself, you will fight to the ends of the earth to keep me safe no matter what.”
“I will always put you above anyone else,” Azriel said. 
“I know,” Y/N said sadly. “But for tonight, Azriel, put yourself above me. I know your self destructive behaviour, I witnessed it first hand when I first began to show interest in you. You think my need is to stay safe and to do that you believe it to be away from you. But that is where you are wrong, it is where you have always been wrong.  Never feel safer than I am with you, my love. Your number one need is to feel loved and secure, and you push it away to prioritise my safety and wellbeing. You punish yourself for not being good enough, you think you don’t deserve to be loved, to be wanted. But you are.”
Y/N paused for a moment as Azriel adjusted himself in Y/N’s arms. Favouring to rest his head on her chest instead. Y/N wrapped her arms around him tightly, making him feel secure.
“For once, Azriel. Put your needs above mine, because I know exactly what they are and I know you deserve it,” Y/N finished. 
“I don’t know how to do that,” Azriel muttered, his voice hoarse. 
“You have already started, you haven’t pushed me away yet,” Y/N whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. 
“I don’t want to push you away,” Azriel admitted. “I only ever want to pull you closer.”
“I don’t think it's possible to get any closer at this point,” Y/N said, cracking a small joke to try and get her husband to smile.
Although it didn’t make him smile, he still huffed out a small breath of air before attempting to pull her closer. His arms wrapped more securely around her waist. 
“All I want is this,” Azriel said. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
“You can,” Y/N said. “ We can stay here as long as you like.”
“But my duties,” Azriel said. “I can’t abandon them.”
“You are not abandoning them. Think of it like taking a short break. Because you do need a break, my love. I’ve seen the way the light has dimmed in your eyes these past few months,” Y/N replied. 
“I don’t know how to do that,” Azriel said. “I don’t know how to relax.”
“Are you relaxed now?” Y/N questioned.
There was a small pause before Azriel answered, “Yes.”
“Then you have already made a start,” Y/N said, her nails scratching his scalp slightly. As she did so she felt even more tension leave Azriel’s body.
“I only feel relaxed when I’m with you,” Azriel confessed. 
“Well then, I guess I’m never leaving your side,” Y/N said. “I can’t see any downside to that.”
Azriel shuffled a little so he could lift his head to finally look in Y/N’s eyes. And there it was, that small bit of light that had slowly been extinguished, was being brought back to life and it flickered within the shades of brown and green that made up his beautiful hazel.
“How did I ever get so lucky to be in your life?” Azriel asked.
Y/N caressed his face, her finger lightly brushing over the gash on it. “I think you are mistaken, sweetheart. How did I get so lucky to be in your life? You may be called the shadowsinger, but you, Azriel, are the light of my whole life.”
At that statement, Azriel’s eyes seemed to water as he pressed his head back on her chest, his lips lightly grazing her collarbone.
“I know you can hear my heart,” Y/N said as she cradled his head against her chest. “And it beats only for you.”
“I love you beyond words, Y/N,” Azriel whispered as he caressed her wrist and pressed a soft kiss to it. “I don’t believe I can ever truly express how much you mean to me.”
Y/N smiled and laced her fingers with his. The wedding ring on his finger shined in the light. “You already have, and you continue to do it every day by being my husband. You are the love of my life, Az. There is no one else I have known that has ever compared to you and no one else ever will. I adore you and will for the rest of our lives.”
This time, Azriel did not try to argue anything. Though he didn’t speak any words, the soft caress of his thumb over her knuckles conveyed so much more than just a simple loving touch. Just from his silence alone and that simple touch, Y/N smiled. Azriel finally realised how loved he is. And now, after all this time, he realised that he truly deserved it.
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princessbrunette · 3 months
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as highly requested, a small look into life with bunny!reader and rafe following the events of never lose me.
“i wanna go home, daddy.” you huff quietly out your nose as you stand on the deck of rafe’s large boat, overlooking the glimmering bahamas ocean. he presses his lips together, nodding. rafe was different now, oddly — he was more understanding, mature. he’d shaved off his hair, and now he had real responsibilities, so he fully came into the ‘grown man’ role he’d been after so bad.
he flicks his gaze towards you, pulling you by the waist so you lightly stumble into him, the man rubbing your back as you bury your cheek against his white linen shirt. “yeah… well. we can’t, not just yet. got business to handle here, remember?”
he feels you nod against him, and is satisfied with the answer — plucking his sunglasses from his collar and placing them on the bridge of his nose, squinting over at the row of other expensive boats lined up on the dock. after a calm moment, you speak again — twisting in his grip to look up at him.
“aren’t you worried?”
“about what? someone will buy the cross soon, okay — i can feel it. as for my dad he’s… he’s healing.” he explains and you blink dumbly, watching his soft lips explain your current situation.
“i know. i mean about the dead body in the truck. remember?” you ask so innocently, like it was nothing. a silly thing he could have just forgotten. you barely get the last word out, and he’s grabbed you by your arms— walking you backwards beneath the shelter of the boat, he yanks off his glasses to reveal a dangerous look in his eye.
“are you insane? gonna say that shit out loud when you don’t know who could be listening? what did i tell you, hm? remind me.”
your lip wobbles, lashes frantically fluttering as he’s snapped you out of your sleepy and lethargic mood beneath the hot sun. “not a wor—”
“not a word about it. ‘kay? you cannot afford to slip up. is that crystal clear?” he completes the sentence for you impatiently, eyes glancing between yours.
“i’m sorry. just homesick.” you mewl, and to this he softens— deflating with a sigh. he scratches behind his ear, staring off for a moment before nodding and pulling you back into his chest, lips brushing the crown of your head as he hugs you.
“i know. i’m sorry, okay? just freaked me out, kid.” he mumbles, giving your back a firm rub before pulling back. “look, let’s just not think about it for now. yeah? that sound fair?”
you sniff, smiling obediently up at him, nodding your head.
“great. now…” he strokes two thumbs along each cheek, raising his brows. “you look like you want icecream. am i right? yes?”
just like that, it’s forgotten for another day.
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notquitecanon · 6 months
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Insufferably Admirable // Astarion x Reader
Summary: After a restful day turns into a bloody night, your unspoken yet painfully obvious dedication to Astarion has put you in what should be a harder choice. Once Astarion realizes just how far you'd go for him, he has to begin to confront the feelings and realizations he's been ignoring for a while. OR that time You figured out the most effective way to heal a vampire and Astarion got emotional about it
Set at the end of Act 1, but not quite act two. Pre-confession but it's obvious they have some sort of feelings for each other
TW: canon typical violence, blood & blood drinking(obvi this is an Astarion fic), no use of Tav or (Y/N), one use of technical self harm (c*tting) but not in a self mutilation way??, mentions of manipulation obvi, reader might be a little too willing to help (totally not be projecting what???)
this is my first time writing anything for Astarion after hyper fixating on him for a month so please be gentle. I know it's a bit all over the place. (yes I could have completely left out the first half, but there isn't much actual dialogue in the second half and I like to put this guy in situations)
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"Remind me again why you insisted on coming with me? I figured you’d be ripe for a day to lay around camp and let us do all the heavy lifting." You grumbled, scanning the crowded streets for a merchant. The goal was simple: get to the nearest village, sell off the extra weight, use the gold to stock the necessary supplies, and whatever the gold couldn’t buy… well, acquire it by any means necessary. No matter your path, through the shadows or the Underdark, you'd need to be prepared.
Gale had gone to pilfer for useful scrolls and maybe an enchanted item to snack on. Lae’zel and Shadowheart to a blacksmith for specialty arrows, useful armor, and any other weapons that caught their eyes. Karlach had carried the two trunks and barrel of items you had collected from your adventure thus far, finding you a wheelbarrow before heading back to camp to help Wyll with his preparations. Halsin… had taken his wild form and disappeared into the forest. Originally, you had intended to do your tasks alone, until- 
"My dear, I’m always ripe for a lay." Astarion twisted your words with a smirk, easily dodging the hand that reached to swat his chest. With a short laugh, he answered your question, his theatrics only increasing to more you argued, "To begin with, Someone- my fabulous self- had to make sure you didn’t get the whole group wrapped up in another laundry list of side quests- who knows what trouble you could have found if you were left all by your lonesome? A gnoll den? A kraken in the pond?  an old woman’s wagon with a broken wheel? a kitten up a tree? An orphanage with a leaky roof? Another cult for us to dismantle? Another temple to drop on me? Where would it end? You’re incapable of turning people away, it’s one of your insufferably admirable qualities."
"It’s called being kind, you dramatic elf." You grumbled, not prepared for the in depth analysis of your character. Trying not to focus so much on the fact he’d called something about you admirable.
"Second, knowing you, you’d sell all this off and still manage to come back to camp with them full. Honestly, pet, how have you managed to collect this much junk? You don’t even have a bag of holding." Astarion scoffed, using a single pale finger to peek under the lid of the barrel. It was just barely containing the countless daggers, goblin bows, pairs of leather armors, and dusty sandals. Your cheeks burned hot- maybe you had a habit of being overzealous in how eagerly you pilfered through all the crates you came across, checking bodies for anything valuable, and demanding the vampire to pick every locked chest the party uncovered. Hells only knew the thrill you got when you would find a buried chest.
"You never know when you might need something!" You reasoned, but swatted him away to hastily shut the barrel before the contents could spill out. It had taken you the better part of the night to pack it full of all the things your companions had convinced you to get rid of. The pale elf rolled his eyes, brushing past you so gracefully you didn’t feel his fingers in your pocket. 
"Really, my sweet? When, pray tell, might we need the collection of rusty necklaces you’ve amassed." Astarion held the bronze and silver necklaces up to the light, the red and blue stones sparkling despite the rust. His voice always like velvet, ruby eyes alight with teasing, "Far be it from me to criminalize accessorizing, but that darling neck of yours is tempting enough already." 
"Astarion!" You cringed, hearing your voice almost whine. Damn him for having that effect, so you cleared your throat as you snatched the jewelry back, "They are useful when we can sell them for gold." 
Astarion, having gotten the reaction he wanted, let you shove the necklaces back in a pocket before glaring at him, though it didn’t hold much actual malice, "Well, come on then, let’s sell the sandals for all the riches the village has to offer us." 
An afternoon later, you were smiling smugly as you watched Astarion grumble. Between all the goods and six different merchants, you were leaving with an additional 9,000 in gold, not to mention the additional 3,000 Astarion had managed to pickpocket while you bartered, and the items the two of you had managed to swipe. You felt particularly vindicated as he complained about the weight of the coins in his pack. 
"I’ll buy you something pretty in Baldur’s Gate." You cooed teasingly, to ‘appease’ him. Astarion spared you a deadpan glance before standing to leave, only making you giggle all the more, "Let’s get back to camp."
Astarion caught your eyes once more, scowl softening out at the sight of your bright smile. He was just about to say something sickeningly sweet and perhaps more than a touch vulgar when his eyes flitted up to something, pointed ears twitching at something you couldn’t quite hear. Until you could. 
The door of the jeweler you had swindled burst open, a strangled voice shrieking, "THIEVES! SOMEONE CATCH THEM!" 
Astarion must have been rubbing off on you, because for a moment you tried to feign confusion, looking around for the ‘culprits’ as if the dwarf wasn’t pointing directly at you.  Not that it did much good as several passerbys began to circle around the two of you. 
"Everyone’s so touchy about their personal belongings these days." The rogue scoffed.  Astarion grabbed your wrist and tugged you to him, so that your back was pressed to his and no one could sneak up on you. In his other hand, a dagger had already appeared. 
You sighed in defeat, taking your bow off your back, "No killing." 
"No promises." 
Compared to the goblin camp or fighting through the githyanki creche, disarming and incapacitating untrained townspeople and barely trained guards  was barely a warm up. Still, Astarion never left your side, an increasingly common occurrence when you found yourself in tight situations. Together, it didn’t take long to put distance between yourselves and your attackers, managing to get far enough to escape to the fight. Deflecting one last blow as the two of you passed by an open tavern, you incapacitated a rather pitiful guard with a blunt thunk from the pommel of your dagger. Taking one relieved breath, you tried not to focus too much of the trail of bleeding, unconscious bodies you and the rogue had left behind in your escape attempt. 
"Best we stick to the shadows before we attract more attention." Astarion mused with a cruel smirk, grabbing your sleeve and using it to wipe the blood off the corner of his mouth, his fangs glinting in the afternoon sun. The rogue only chuckled at your curses, giving some inane quip about the crime of dirtying his ensemble and how blood someone always looked better on you, "Now, believe what I said about you finding trouble? Back to camp before you find more." 
Before you could wrench your arm back or remind him that he was the only who got caught stealing, he pulled you off the main road into the alley adjacent- unaware of the attention that had already been attracted from inside the tavern. 
____
Ambushed in the night.  
A whole hunting party of Gur hunters. Willing to purge your party as they slept. 
And they were calling Astarion the monster. Fortunately, Scratch was an excellent guard dog. Waking the entire camp when the hunters tried to creep where you slept. Just as fortunately, there wasn’t a soul in camp that didn’t sleep without at least a dagger under their pillow. 
Your camp had become a bloodbath in the dim glow of the campfire. You had used the book you had fallen asleep reading as an improvised weapon, throwing it so hard it broke the first hunter’s nose. Lae’zel was single handedly mowing through three hunter with her long sword. Spells and incantations sent flashes of light from Gale and Shadowheart’s part of camp, and fire and brimstone lit up Karlach’s. There was yelling and cursing echoing in the cool night air, orders to take the vampire spawn alive and to kill the rest. 
And Astarion? Their target? 
He was where he always was during a fight these days. Right beside you, like a pale, snarky shadow. He had been the one to press your sword into your hand so you’d have more than just your dagger.  With him, you slashed and sliced anything that came near. Until the bastard appeared out of no where, squeezing in between you and the rogue. You would have applauded (more likely cursed) the near perfect use of an invisibility charm- had it not been for the poison-dipped stake raised against Astarion. 
This hunter was different, you could see it in his eyes. They were somehow devoid of life and yet also simmering with rage as they trained on your snow haired companion. This hunter didn’t plan to take Astarion back to Baldur’s Gate, not alive at least. He didn’t care about whatever orders they had, or what consequences would come for disobeying them. He only cared about driving the stake into Astarion’s heart. 
Astarion’s eyes went wide as well at the sight of the stake, realizing as you did that this was no longer just a kidnapping, it would be an assassination. Your thundering heart stuttered, blood going supernova in your veins before freezing to ice as your mind whirled through a hundred different possibilities and also went blank. Your own opponent, along with years of learned strategy, were instantly forgotten as blind instinct took over.  Every ounce of strength and speed you had was directed into a desperate lunge. In your desperation, you really weren’t sure if your goal was to tackle the hunter, grab his arm, tackle Astarion, or maybe even take the stake to your chest instead- you decided to choose along the way, as long as it ended with Astarion alive(ish) and well.
You managed to close the distance, one hand planted firmly to Astarion’s chest shoving him further and the other clamping onto the leather of the hunter’s gauntlet, the same arm poising the stake. With a feral sounding shriek, you pushed his arm so his aim was off. At the same time, your original opponent, frustrated at being forgotten, cast a wave of thunder that sent all three of you flying. 
Astarion, the Gur, and you flew backwards a good fifteen feet, the thunder shaking you to your very bones and splitting your ears. The breath was knocked out of you so hard you thought your poor lungs might collapse and you weren’t able to tell if it was the spell or the impact that did it. You didn’t have time to contemplate, the moment you were able, you scrambled onto your knees. With the same feral tenacity from earlier, you grabbed the hunter by the front of his leather armor, nails leaving scarily deep tracks as you hauled him off your vampiric companion.  With your new opponent, you rolled both your bodies until you were on top of him, knee to his chest. Seeing the look in your eyes, the rage left his own, pure survival instinct taking over. You didn’t even feel the sting of the slicing blow across your shoulder, too consumed with a singular mission. It was Astarion’s dagger you had snatched from the ground on the way that delivered the quick death blow. Halsin, in bear form, had appeared out of the tree line and took care of your other thunderous hunter, taking a defensive position around you and Astarion with a goading roar. You expected to hear something from Astarion- a snarky comment about your lack of technique, a snide remark about his assailant, or even just a stream of petty curses- but he was silent. You turned back to him, only to have dread flood every cell in your body. 
Nothing else mattered anymore, not the fight, not your injuries, and especially not your forgotten original hunter. Halsin, in bear form, had appeared out of the tree line and took care of your other thunderous hunter, taking a defensive position around you and Astarion with a goading roar. You barely noticed.
The moment you’d disposed of Astarion’s assailant, you were scrambling back towards the rogue, who was laying all too still. At first, you hesitated to even touch him as if that might make it worse. You called his name once, and then again when you were able to gingerly lay hands on him- one hand to his chest and the other pushing some curls out of his eyes. The stake, what should have been an almost useless weapon against anyone else, was still buried in his chest, piercing his favorite frilled collar shirt. 
"No… Astarion-" Your voice was breaking, thick and raw. Your eyes couldn’t rip away from the stake, protruding from his chest, the poison staining the white linen of his shirt a sickly green. The hand on his chest balled into a fist, bunching the unsoiled fabric in your grip, but something caught your attention. The tiniest candle light of hope in the rapidly encroaching darkness of grief. 
Your hand was directly over his undead heart. Anytime you touched him, your hand always fell directly over his heart. When you teasingly swatted at his chest, when you needed to steady yourself against him, when you needed to catch you balance… you always sought out his heart- subconsciously, instinctually, always his heart. Your hand was over his heart, and that gods-damned stake was four inches to the right. A tiny light, but a light none the less. It was then you realized you were calling the wrong name. 
"SHADOWHEART!" 
None of your companions had ever heard your voice that desperate, that scared.  All their heads snapped to where they had last seen you, finding Astarion pulled to your chest as you wrenched the stake out of the spawn. Astarion stirred only long enough the let our a gurgling shout that fizzled into a groan at the pain, and you could only hope he heard your soft apologies before you started barraging the vampire with healing cantrips. You didn’t stop until the words held no more magic, your supply of magic tapped for the night. 
The night air had changed, no longer fueled by adrenaline and challenge, now it was thick with urgency and fear. Each of your companions starting fighting towards the two of you, and when you locked watery eyes with Shadowheart you found her clearing her path with her spear. She had stopped using magic to fight, saving it all for Astarion.
"I’m coming! Hold on!" She promised as Karlach fell in beside her, battle axe taking over and sending two hunters to the grave together. Scratch and the owlbear cub had taking a lesson from Halsin and formed up beside you, growling into the night with hackles raised and feathers ruffled. 
"Just hold on, Astarion." You relayed to the vampire, who was completely limp against you his back to your chest, head tilted back against your shoulder which bared his neck to you, showing the fang marks on his pale skin. If you were capable of humor, you would have laughed about the reversal of roles, it was usually you baring your veins to him. But at the moment, his lack of movement wasn’t particularly amusing, so instead you laced his fingers through yours, hoping the warmth would bring him some comfort.  You pressed your cheek against his white curls, using your other hand to brandish his dagger just incase anyone got too close, and whispered all the reasons he was going to be okay. And that’s how you stayed until camp quietened and Shadowheart slid to a stop in front of you. 
___
Hours later, Shadowheart had used every healing and restoration spell she knew, not stopping even when she began to sway and sweat. Halsin had offered his magic and healing herbs, Karlach made sure there was always a bucket of hot water and a stack of clean rags available, and you hadn’t missed Gale trying to hide the scroll of reviving from you as he slipped it to Shadowheart.  Everyone in camp had been quick to gather all the healing potions, depositing them at the entrance of Astarion’s tent. Wyll and Lae’zell had slipped into the tree line to make sure the ambush was well and truly taken care of.  
And you? Their appointed ‘fearless’ leader? You had gone uncharacteristically silent. Your heart hadn’t left your throat, clenching painfully every time they jostled the rogue. Your hands were shaking too much, both from fear and white hot rage, to really help the two more experienced healers of the group. And the thought of being too far from Astarion made your stomach turn, so you kept rooted like a tree. But, you were grateful, truly, for all of them. Even if in the moment, all you could do was sit beside Astarion and pray to any God or Devil that would listen. You felt like a wild animal in a cage and a helpless child at the same time, your insides very well might vibrate out of the body if you didn’t melt into the soil first. 
The vampire needed all the help he could get. Aside from the occasional heartbreaking groan of pain or agony driven writhing, Astarion was eerily still. Barely breathing, less so than usual. His already pale, chilled skin had taken on a stony complexion, almost gray. And despite the inability to run a fever, there was a sheen of sweat over his face, clammy and uncomfortable. You hadn’t allowed them to undress him all the way, but part his shirt had been cut away to reveal the stab wound. It was deep, weeping Astarion’s already dark blood, and stretching out from the injury were black, twisting varicose veins that afforded you the cruel visual of the poison spreading. You wanted to take Gale’s revival scroll, use it on the hunter, and revoke the kindness of your mercifully quick death.  
"It’s like the effect of our magic is being dampened." Shadowheart huffed, hands glowing as she cast another restoration spell. The sweat on Astarion’s brow subsided briefly before returning. Halsin nodded beside her, taking a deep sniff of the stake. 
"His lack of blood isn’t moving the potions or antidote through his body fast enough, and this poison isn’t doing any favors." The druid thought aloud, taking some of his herbs to make a paste, "It doesn’t matter how many we pour down his throat if his body can’t absorb them." 
Shadowheart’s worried gaze flickered to you for a moment, before settling back on Halsin, "We’ll figure something out." 
You knew she was saying that more for your benefit, but you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge the pity. Instead, your grip tightened on Astarion’s hand as you swiped a clean rag to dab at his face. There was one more round of healing incantations and one more bottle of healing potion nursed into Astarion’s mouth. Your jaw twitched, watching most of it fall from the corner of his mouth. The same trail your own blood usually made after he fed. 
"I’m tapped." Shadowheart sighed almost ruefully, the glow around her flickering and then fading, falling back on her heels. Halsin stood, stooped slightly in the low ceiling of the tent, turning to you. 
"We’ve done everything we can do. We’ll try again with fresh minds in the morning. For now the best he, and we, can do is rest." His voice was calming, as if he thought you might start screaming again, but you just nodded, muttering something along the lines of thanks for trying, and not meeting either of their eyes as they ducked out of the tent.  
Since you had belligerently refused any of their magical attempts to heal your shoulder, Gale had done a rather pitiful job of wrapping it, taking some pointers from Karlach along the way. The wizard offered you a tight smile and a gentle hand on your uninjured shoulder before pressing a bottle of healing potion into your hand, "This one is for you. You’re no good to him if you bleed out all over the floor of his tent. We all know how Astarion feels about waste." 
"Yeah- fancy boy will be starving when he wakes up." Karlach’s chipper voice was still laced with a sting of concern. The tiefling didn’t touch you for fear of burning you, but did leave you with some roasted meat and a carafe of water from earlier in the night, "And it wouldn’t hurt for you to eat something either, soldier." 
Then you were left alone with your thoughts, hunched next to Astarion’s side, tired eyes examining the bottle after confirming the rise and fall of his chest. In your hand, the potion glowed slightly with the subtlest warmth, the scarlet liquid seeming to have a mind of its own as it swirled in glittering patterns behind the glass. Your injuries were meager, this little bottle of healing would have you as good as new. Bitterly, you flicked your eyes to the numerous empty potion bottles in the corner that had barely slowed Astarion’s bleeding. Your hand closed around it as you cast another look to the Vampire spawn beside you. His breaths were shaky and shallow even after Shadowheart and Halsin had exhausted every last bit of magic they'd had. Now in the quietest parts of the night, or maybe the darkest hours of the morning, your thoughts swirled, desperate for any sort of plan to latch onto. You had to do something. 
For you, Gale had said, No good to him if you bled out… He’d be starving, Karlach had been joking, His lack of blood wasn’t moving the potions enough to be effective, that had been Halsin’s hypothesis.
Blood. He needed blood.
The revelation was like being dropped into a freezing lake, determination razing the fearful lethargy out of your soul. With your teeth, you pried the cork out and downed the first circular bottle, the overly sweet taste a stark contrast to the somber mood of the night. For good measure, you did the same with a potion of superior healing and two bottles of general poison antidote, slamming them down so fast you had to ignore the churning in your stomach. You’d loot twenty more goblin caves to make up for the dent in supplies if you had to, in that moment you just didn’t care. You waited a moment, begging the powers that be for your ragtag plan to work, not so patiently watching the bruises on your wrist until they started to fade.
You felt it, the moment that you had been completely healed and there was no where else for that magic to go. And then, you wrapped your arms under Astarion’s, heaving him against your chest. You bared your neck, letting gravity gently swing Astarion's nose to meet your pulse point, his silvery lashes tickling your jaw. He stirred slightly, groaning at the movement, pressing himself into your warmth before stilling again. Was he too far gone to realize what was being offered? 
Realizing you’d need to play into his vampiric insticts, you huffed, shattering one of the empty vials against a stone, struggling to do so and keep his deadweight in place. Taking a shard, it wasn’t hesitation but a moment of stilling your shaking hand before you pressed a shallow cut to your neck, right above where his lips rested.
You hissed at the haphazard sting, not as gentle as the pinprick of his fangs were in the night, feeling the blood instantly pool at the seam, a single red ribbon dripping before the potion healed the scratch, "C’mon, Astarion-" 
The moment his name left your lips, or maybe it was the moment a drop of your blood hit his, regardless you could feel his instinct, that sanguine hunger, take over. The soft lips at your neck were replaced with dagger sharp fangs digging into where the small cut had been. The sound you let out was somewhere between a gasp of pain and sob of relief as you barred him against yourself, fists clutching into the back of his shirt like it would keep both of you rooted to each other. Somewhere, in the back on your mind, you thought about the irony of the position, being so afraid to let him slip away, like a rabbit latching onto a snake for fear of the serpent starving. Even if it meant being consumed. 
In that moment, you were so relieved he’d started feeding that you didn’t care that his fangs dug in deeper than they ever had before, much more animalistic than his usual polite nibble. You didn’t dare flinch or wince, in case that might break the spell. Instead, you focussed keeping the both of you upright, one of your arms wrapped under his own, your fingers splayed across his ribs, and your other hand cupping the nape of his neck. The angle had his silvery curls dusting your fingertips and your thumb caressing the sharpest part of his jaw. Never had you been so happy to feel that throbbing numbness in your neck. Astarion’s chin prodded further into your neck, deepening the hold he had, and with his own shaky breath, he swallowed the first mouthful of your blood. 
The hand at his ribs clenched, pulling him impossibly closer and twisting his shirt into your grip again as your pulse began to speed up. The increase of your heart rate only seemed to encourage the vampire, teeth sinking ever deeper to draw more blood flow. Clenching your jaw, you forced your muscles not to tense, it would only make it hurt more. This mouthful was quicker, Astarion seemed to be actively drawing it out of you instead of just waiting for it. He swallowed again, gaining the strength to snake his arms around you. It wasn’t a strong hold at first, but one arm snaked around your waist while the other cradled the back of your head, those long fingers finding their usual place in the locks of your hair. You couldn’t help the short laugh that escaped, relishing the cool touch. Your voice stoked another fire in him, provoking another instinct, your blood provided the strength for his grip to harden, becoming more cage like. As if he needed to worry about you trying to escape. 
He swallowed again, and the numbness spread, not just in your neck but into your cheeks and across your chest. Blood was racing, coursing through you and into him, and with it all the magic of the healing potions. You could feel him getting his legs underneath him, untangling himself from you. At the same time, it was getting harder to hold your arm up, the numbness had reached your fingertips leaving them fumbling at his curls before falling to his shoulder. Another long drink and you found your eyes starting to flutter, everything was starting to feel cold as a shiver shook your body. Astarion, against two centuries of vampiric instinct, started to pull back, and you didn’t stop him, but didn’t let him go far either. He was mostly supporting himself now, which was a relief because a fair bit of focus was freshly delegated to preventing yourself from swaying. 
"Take all you need, ’Stari-" You meant for your voice to be assuring and strong, but it came out breathy and slightly slurred. Astarion pulled away, the movement bringing you mostly out of your stupor. His ruby eyes were as sharp as ever once again, even if the shadows under his eyes were still too dark for your liking, and they stared into your own half lidded eyes. Other than the deep purple shadows, the ashen complex had started to even out, the sweat on his brow had faded away, and when you dropped your gaze, you noticed the twisting black veins were starting to recede and fade. Hells, you could get up and dance (very briefly before you passed out).
Even, with a foot in the grave, more dead than usual, and covered in both of your bloods he was unfairly beautiful. His eyes narrowed on your dopey smile, as if he your relief was a symptom of too much blood loss. If that was the effect of four swallows, just a little more would flush out the poison completely, "I can take it, love, just please let me help you." 
Astarion never considered himself to be someone that had to be coaxed into receiving a gift, and you were offering him one so sweetly, practically begging him. After 200 years of rats and spiders, you had put literal magic in your veins for him. Magic that was bringing him back from death to his usual state of undead. He could feel it bringing his strength back, allowing all the magic the cleric and druid had poured into him to finally take some affect. Your blood, his first thinking blood, was always delicious- sweet and metallic, a delicate blend of all the good tastes, something so intrinsically you. With the potions infused, though, if Astarion was to hazard guess what sunlight tasted like- this would be it. How could he refuse? 
Before he went back in, he placed a reverent kiss to the marks he had left in your neck, gingerly lapping at the wounds before sinking his fangs back into your tender flesh. This time, it wasn’t a gasp or sob, but a mewl, your frigid fingers once again digging into the flounced collar his shirt. If you both lived until morning, you were sure he’d gripe for hours about all the wrinkles you’d put in his favorite (only) shirt. Probably throw a proper fit about the stake hole.
Now, as the potions effects dwindled in your own body, you could properly feel the drain. The coldness crept up from your extremities but didn’t counteract the burn in your muscles, making it harder and harder to suppress the shivers. Your breathing was quick almost a pant, but you still felt like you weren't getting any oxygen. If you were thinking rationally, if you hadn’t gone through the brief grief of thinking you’d lost him, you would have realized you need to push him away, that you were approaching your limit. But you weren’t thinking rationally, no. You still were too busy grinning- as your hand had fallen from his collar, it grazed across the wound, now fully closed. Just a little more, you promised yourself. You felt him swallow more, he held himself up completely on his own allowing you to lean into him. 
Astarion was okay, more than just on the mend, he was alive and strong, the potions and magic were working, were the thoughts that were reverberating through your head as things started to feel farther away. Your desperation had melted away, leaving a grateful smile in its wake. It wasn’t completely on purpose, but you let Astarion take on more and more of your weight, barely aware of his fangs in your neck anymore, not quite hearing Scratch and the cub whining outside, the shivering even began to subside as it seemed to take too much energy. 
Earlier, you had drug him to you and held him against your chest almost crying. But, as more of your blood flowed through him, it had become juxtaposed. Astarion held you in place, leaning over you for the best angle at your neck. It was his arms that kept you from falling over, his firm hand that kept your head from lolling too far back. His bite became less fervent, his grip less cage like and more affectionate. His survival instincts started to give way to civility and charm. You barely noticed as he twisted himself so he could slowly, gently lay you down onto the bedroll that had moments ago been his sickbed. He laid you on your back, onto the generous stack of pillows he kept in his tent. He tangled his fingers into yours, just as you had done for him, his knees holding him in a predatory crawl over you, all without breaking from your neck. 
Barely registering the softness, it was the thud of your other hand against the floor that roused you, just a bit. It was also what drew Astarion’s attention, it took everything in him to withdraw his fangs. He gave each puncture would a diligent cleaning with his tongue before pulling away completely, lest he lose control and dive right back in. (Really, how could one person be that tempting?)
But, you had arguably saved his life, it’d be terribly impolite of him to kill you. When Astarion’s eyes met yours, your gaze was more than half lidded as you watched him- what little of your eyes he could see were glossy and fighting to stay focused, he could hear your heartbeat markedly fainter than he was comfortable with. 
You were watching him as intently as you could. In the dim lantern light of his tent, surrounded by potion bottles and bloody rags, Astarion was up and moving and breathing again. Revived and strong, his eyes practically glowing scarlet, and, if you really focussed, you could make out the tips of his ears becoming pink. Something that only happened when he was freshly well fed, nothing was left of his stab wound but the hole in his shirt, the frayed edges dyed from the poison and his blood. He could have looked like a angel, complete with the fire’s reflection creating a halo effect on his snowy curls, had it not been for the sheen of sticky blood drenching his chin and neck. Your blood- the blood that gave him enough strength to heal. How could you not smile? 
Astarion tried to come up with a snarky comment, but for once, nothing came to mind. Instead, he kept glancing between your intertwined fingers, glassy eyes, and that idiotic little smile. Your giddiness was beginning to unnerve him, had you been charmed or perhaps taken a hit to the head? With the parasite, he reached out briefly into your mind. His brow twitched when he was only met with waves of relief and gratitude, you were too tired for structured thought, but too relieved to give into the exhaustion. How could someone on the verge on exsanguination look so happy? And why in the nine hells did it seem to be directed towards his well being? 
The vampire was stricken, taking count of everything you’d truly done that night alone: fought beside him, tried to take the death blow in his place, comforted him, held his hand, cleaned him up, hadn’t let the others undress him anymore than necessary, stayed with him, circumvented his vampirism to find a way to heal him, and had genuinely tried to bleed yourself dry for him. Hell, you’d cut your own neck for him- not even metaphorically, but literally cut your throat for him. He could feel your warmth, your kindness and everything good about you settling into his very marrow. Something uncomfortably… gooey… stirred in his chest, something more and more worrying common as of late, when it came to you. Had his manipulation really worked so well? A feeling too close to sharp guilt gnawed at that warm gooey feeling. Was it really manipulation anymore? Gods, your morality was infecting him.  
“This is that Insufferabe admirability I was talking about ." He muttered into the tent, shaking his head as he watched your chest rise and fall, using his free hand tame some of the hair at your crown. It was then Astarion realized your eyes had slipped shut, your fingers, now just as cold as his, going limp against his. Weeks ago, he would have polished off the last of your blood and left you behind. But at present, he felt the sickening need to return even half the care you’d shown him. He’d have to dissect his emotions later. The rogue was glad the other companions had left supplies within arms reach, as it meant he could gather them without dropping your hand. 
"Ah, ah, ah," He called quietly, gently pulling you back to the real world, pleased to watch your scrunch your nose in the exertion of waking back up. Finally, that contented little smile on your face slipped into a frown, a protest against his interruption of your sleep. Astarion’s smile was almost apologetic as he helped you into a slightly more upright position, "Not quite yet, little love. It’s your turn. No sharing this time."
Another healing potion was pressed into your hand and opened for you, and you allowed Astarion to guide it to your lips, his pale hand guiding your own. This time, the warmth of the elixir was welcome, a comfort instead of a taunt, assurance instead of a plea. Astarion carefully watched you as you swallowed the potion down, noting how you shivered less and a bit of color returned to your face. When the potion bottle was empty, he traded it for a small cup of water, keeping a guiding hand on the silver chalice he’d nicked from a tradesmen weeks ago until you had enough strength to hold it. 
Though still exhausted and dizzy, you had the energy to throw him an obstinate look. Astarion feigned a dramatic sigh but kept a firm enough grip on you that you couldn’t lay back down, "All this for me, yet you won’t even let me give you water?"
Ignoring how it made the dizziness worse, you rolled your eyes, taking a few sips of the water at a time even if it was mostly just so he’d let you lay back down. Astarion was in one piece and you were exhausted, you couldn’t bring yourself to think about anything else. But, Astarion seemed very pleased with himself, squeezing your hand once again, "Good girl." 
If you weren’t on the verge of blood loss, you could have choked on the water. Still, there was a part of you that whispered in relief he must be better if he’s back to teasing you. Astarion watched you take a few more sips before you sagged back against the pillows. Your eyes closed again, but your breathing was deeper now and the hand he held didn’t feel as cold. Outside, Scratch and the cub seemed appeased at your improvement as they stopped their pacing and whining to settle at the tent flap.
This time, he didn’t pull you back up, instead muttering to himself as he gently tilted your head to the side, exposing his bite marks. No wonder you seemed so tired, they were much messier than usual. Vicious, was the better word. Not only had his two fangs pierced your delicate skin, but his bottom canine teeth had punctured through as well, and he could see the outline of his other teeth in the deep bruising grooves they had left behind. In unfortunate addition, it seemed in the height of his blood lust he’d made more than one bite, leaving your neck littered in marks. Astarion grimaced, it really was more of a mauling, “Apologies, darling, I’m not typically so brutish. Forgive me?" 
Astarion pointedly ignored how his heart lifted at the slightest nod you gave him, instead focussing on cleaning you up as gently as possible. The potion had stopped the bleeding, and he watched as the wounds themselves were slowly closing. Each swipe of the rag was feather light, almost not even there. The elf noticed you give back into sleep, this time not bothering to wake you again. Instead he kept working and fussing until the only sign of his feeding was the stained neckline of your shirt. Then, he gently ran a clean, wet rag over your face and hands, taking away the evidence of your tears and worry. Finally, he threw a cloak over you like a blanket, to hopefully ward off the last of the shivers from the warmth he’d stolen from you. 
Not stolen, he reminded himself, though the truth somehow felt more dangerous, it was freely given to him. The vampire settled in, laying across from you, the only part of you he could touch was the hand still holding his. Though, already in your sleep you had shifted towards him. Astarion frowned, eyebrows furrowed, the more he came to know you, the more he knew that you would give and give and give. Truly, he knew that he didn’t need to manipulate you anymore, maybe he never needed to, and for the first time in centuries, he didn’t want to just keep taking. He didn’t want to bleed you dry and loot you for all you were worth. Astarion was surprised to find he wanted give something back to you. He just needed to figure out what.
The nights events caught up to him once again as his eyes closed, listening to the evermore familiar sound of your heartbeat as it became steadier and the even sounds of your breathing as you slept, letting it guide him towards meditation. 
Gods damn you and your insufferable admirability.
___
Part Two Here!
Again this was my first time writing for Astarion. I also tried to balance things into being equal parts in each persons perspective. I just love when two lovestruck idiots have to confront their own feelings about being in love.
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marvelsmylife · 4 months
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Could you write a fic with Az and reader where she just needs his touch? Maybe she’s just having one of those days where everything makes her cry and she just needs him to hold her so she can sleep, except they aren’t anything more yet
His hugs<3
Pairing Azriel x reader
#20 - “The number one cure for sadness is an outrageously tight hug.”
A/n I had so much fun writing this ! ! ! I'm sorry if I deviated from what you originally requested but I hope you still like it
I’m accepting requests
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You were having the worst day of your life, you were sure of it. First, you started with training with Cassian in the morning since Azriel was away. “Sorry to break it to you y/n, but I’m not going to go easy on you like Azriel does” Cassian teased.
Everything was going good until you got distracted for a split second and Cassian fist made contact with your nose. “CASSIAN! ! !” you yelled and immediately brought your hands up to your nose.
“Fuck” Cassian cursed when he saw your nose was bleeding profusely: “I’m sorry y/n, I didn’t mean to do that”. You sent him a death glare before you went to Madja so she could heal you.
After a quick trip to Madja to get your nose fixed, you decided to roam the streets of Velaris. You were having a good time until a child ran past you and accidentally pushed you into a pile of mud.
You wanted to be mad at the child but he started crying and apologizing immediately when they realized who you were. “It’s ok,” you replied as you got up: “Just watch where you’re going next time, ok?” 
The child nodded furiously before running towards their mom who began scolding them for their action.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when you got out of the bath and started to change. In your attempt to quickly throw on a tunic, you swung your arms and accidentally knocked over a vase that you had in your family for centuries. It was the last thing you had from your old life and now it was broken. 
After cleaning up your mess, all you wanted to bury yourself into your covers and never come out.
Around that time, Azriel finally arrived at the house of wind and was confused when you didn’t immediately greet him like you usually do: “She’s in her room.” Azriel heard Cassian's voice: “She had a bad day and wants to be left alone”.
Azriel ignored the last part of what Cassian had said and went straight to your room. He let out a sigh when he spotted you under your covers: “OK, what happened?”
“Everything,” you replied, still under your cover: “I’m never leaving this room again.”
Azriel couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how dramatic you were acting. “Y/n, can you please get out from under your covers? You’re going to suffocate under there.”
“No,” you grumbled: “I don’t want to”.
Growing frustrated by your answer, Azriel undid his boots before responding: “If you’re not going to get out from under there, I’m going to have to go in there with you.”
You didn’t have time to reply when Azriel managed to get under the covers with you: “What happened to your nose?” Azriel asked when he noticed a bruise on your nose.
“Your brother happened,” you huffed out before you explained what happened to you today.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you train today:” Azriel apologized: “but do you want to know one thing?”
You gave Azriel a puzzling look and replied: “What?”
“The number one cure for sadness is an outrageously tight hug,” Azriel responded before engulfing you in a hug.
You couldn’t help but laugh at Azriel’s action: “Who would have thought the big bad shadowsinger was a big old softy.”
“I’m only a softy for you,” Azriel replied and placed a kiss on your forehead: “How are you feeling now?”
“Better” you smiled at Azriel before carefully burying your face in his neck: “Better now that you are with me now”.
Meanwhile, outside your bedroom, the rest of the inner circle were eavesdropping on your and Azriel’s conversation. “When do you think they’re going to confess that they have feelings for each other?” Elain asked.
“Hopefully soon,” Amren replied, “I’m sick of them basically eye fucking each other all the time”.
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jinwoosungs · 19 days
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marked by you.
jinwoo sung x fem.reader
warnings: yet another late night thirst post; minors don’t interact.
by choosing to interact with this 18+ content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings.
anonymous said: Reader who frets about the scratch marks that she creates on Jinwoo's back and keeps apologizing for it x Jinwoo who loves it. Too bad he heals quickly. Oh, what shall he do? Guess he has to take em again on bed n rail em hard so he can get those marks again 😼
when you and jinwoo got ready for bed that night, you were simply brushing your teeth as jinwoo got out of the showers. as you rinsed your mouth before drying it with a towel, your eyes trail over to your lover, only for your gaze to go wide upon seeing what looked like deep red claw marks against his back.
you were flustered now, heart pounding as you could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks in response. softly calling out his name, you step closer to him, gently tracing at the prominent marks with your fingertips.
feeling jinwoo stiffen from beneath your soft touch, a tiny gasp of pain was heard, filling you with a deep sense of guilt.
“honey? what is it? what are you looking at?”
you didn’t answer him, choosing instead to place kisses against his back where your deep scratches were seen. letting out a sigh, you lean closer to his broad back before pressing even more kisses against those painful marks.
“i’m sorry, for hurting you.” only when you gently lick away at them did jinwoo lose his absolute mind. feeling your tongue innocently tracing at those angry red marks- the memory of them being caused by your nails raking down his back with each and every one of his thrusts makes jinwoo lose all sense of his inhibitions.
silently, jinwoo purposefully drops the damp towel from his waist, making you gasp when he suddenly faces you, trapping you against the bathroom sink. a devious smirk paints his handsome features as he teasingly rubs his erection across your inner thighs. groaning at the silky feel of them, he continues to further harden his cock for you, basking in your breathy moans as your arms automatically came up to wrap around his neck.
“my sweet and darling treasure, always so considerate of me.” jinwoo’s voice darkens just the tiniest bit, leaning in to bite down against the shell of your ear while whispering hedonistic phrases to you.
“the way you rake your nails down my back is actually one of my greatest treasures. whenever i catch a glimpse of them, i get so hard, remembering just how deep i got inside of you- so deep that it made your toes curl and your hands claw against my back…”
“ah…!” you feel him move aside your panties with one hand, massaging his cock beneath your soaking core as he collected your arousal with his velvety cock, sliding the tip of it in and out of your slickness as he purposely drove you crazy for him.
you were dimly aware of the faint, golden glow that surrounds jinwoo, eyes becoming dilated as he peered down at you. “oh…? would you look at that. i’m all healed-“
“i guess this means i just have to get new marks from you now.”
without giving you a warning, jinwoo shoves his cock deep inside of you, making you see stars as your walls cling tightly to him in a vice grip. while jinwoo fucked you against the bathroom sink, you were slowly losing bits and pieces of your sanity. your hands were already reaching toward his muscled back, clinging to him as you curled your nails against his skin.
“fuck.” he lets out a harsh whisper of your name, sliding his cock all the way out of your soaked core before shoving himself back in, purposely rubbing against your swollen bundle of nerves in the process. pretty droplets of tears were felt settled against your eyelashes as you fought to even think straight.
when you nearly fell to the ground, jinwoo keeps you steady by placing both hands possessively over your waist, bouncing you up and down his cock with a feral grunt. with this new angle, you could feel how deep he was hitting that special spot inside of you, making you cry out as you locked your legs around his waist, climaxing immediately around him. jinwoo could feel your juices staining at his cock, making him lose all coherent thought while continuing to ram himself in and out of you.
“that’s it, fuck, that’s it…!” jinwoo watches with wide eyes, seeing the familiar clear fluid travel down the length of his erection before burying himself inside of your sweet cunt, his cock pulsating as he released everything he had inside of you.
a choked moan was heard coming from your perfectly parted lips, your nails once more latching on to his skin for support, nearly drawing blood in the process as jinwoo let out a loud groan. he weakly thrusts in and out of you, making sure that he had completely emptied himself before resting his head on your damp shoulder.
you were breathing heavily now, slowly smoothing the palm of your hand down his back, feeling the imprint of your deep scratches against his skin. “oh…oh!”
your gasp turns into a surprise one when you feel your lover growing inside of you, filling you once more as he meets your gaze with his own. an expression of lust and adoration overtakes jinwoo’s handsome features when he suddenly carries you, bringing your back against the bathroom wall. with a pant, jinwoo continues stroking his cock in and out of you as you let out even more cries of his name in response.
“hn, i’m still not quite satisfied with the marks you’ve given me. how about we spend the whole night like this and you can mark me as much as you want?”
you let out a weak moan and attempt to glare at him, but the way your gummy walls seemed to tighten around him lets him know just how eager you were to do just that.
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a.n. - i’m thirsty. all of my jinwoo readers are thirsty. so i did something about it. 🫠🫠🫠🫠
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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turtleblogatlast · 27 days
Text
“Hey, Hueso.”
Hueso sighs.
Moving his gaze to his left, he sees Leo casually leaning up against the wall next to him. The turtle isn’t looking at him, instead he seems to be staring at nothing at all. Strange, but not necessarily unheard of from him.
“We’re closed, Pepino.” Hueso states, moving a little away to continue closing down his restaurant-
“Can any portal be portal-jacked?”
Hueso pauses.
It’s a simple enough question, one that Hueso’s fairly certain he’s given an equally simple - if not a bit harsh - answer to. Granted, it was more in regard to the likelihood of bad portals being jacked rather than any at all, so maybe now that Leo has admittedly become much more competent with his portals, he’s just worried it’ll happen again.
The invasion certainly made the boy more…cautious. Quieter, too.
“Well…” Hueso runs a bony hand down his face, “From what I know, the possibility always exists, Pepino. However, it is far, far more unlikely to be portal-jacked when the portal is made by a master, rather than some reckless amateur.”
Leo nods his head, almost vacantly. If Hueso wasn’t paying so much attention he may have missed the way Leo seemed to look a little sick. Despite himself, concern builds within him.
“So-“ Leo starts, his voice soft in a worrisome way before he clears it, “So…if the portal was just- really strong, it could still be jacked if made by a beginner?”
Hueso watches closely even as he nods in answer, “Sí. Your own portals are strong, no?”
Leo shakes his head, “No, like- imagine a portal way stronger than mine ever were. Something huge and stuff. More, uh. More locked up dimensions and time, less…just space.”
“Hm.” Hueso frowns, considering the strange question. “Well, in truth I have yet to come across many portals on that level, but there’s nothing to say that it’s not possible-“ The smallest furrow of Leo’s brow makes Hueso hurry to add, “-ah, but there’s also nothing that says it is possible.”
“So…it could happen? It’s not a definitive “no”?” Leo asks, the smallest of shakes present in his tone.
Hueso puts a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “No lo sé, Pepino. I haven’t come across such portals enough to give a good answer to you.”
Something in him hurts a bit when Leo visibly plasters on a grin. “Ah, man. Well- Gracias, Hueso, this was just a stupid thing to get all hung up on anyway.”
Hueso looks closer at this annoying, insufferable, horribly quiet and reserved boy. He sees the dark circles peaking, barely visible thanks to the mask. He sees the scars of healed injuries never to be forgotten displayed all across the boy’s body. He sees the look in Leo’s eyes, a depression and worry that is…hard to look at, in someone so young.
He sees all of this in Leo, and as much as he sometimes wishes to deny it, he cares enough about him to gently ask. “Are you okay, Pepino?”
“Oh- yeah, yeah, don’t worry, Hueso, I’m not about to whine to you again or anything.” Leo laughs, backing away out of Hueso’s reach. “It’s just a little question, just something that’s been bothering me, y’know? Wanted to ask an expert.”
“Pepino-“ Hueso starts, not quite sure what to say. The words “you can come to me whenever you need to” are true, and yet he can’t bring himself to say them before Leo already is swinging a katana.
In the light of his blue portal, Leo sends Hueso his signature, manufactured grin. “Thanks for listening, Hueso!”
And then he’s gone. Just like that. Standing tall and confident with not a shred of that worry and reservation and fear left behind. It was the look of a soldier heading off to a battle he knew was terrifying, but one he also knew he needed to keep a brave face for.
It would have been a commendable look, if not for the fact Leo was heading home.
Hueso stares at the residual sparks of the portal for just a moment longer before moving to continue closing. Next time, because there will always be a next time, Hueso will have a fresh pizza waiting.
And, hopefully, a bit of that insufferable turtle he knows so well comes back to grab a slice.
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not-my-final-account · 5 months
Text
Danny is Gotham
“Are we safe now ghost boy?” Paulina asked
“Yes we’re fine,” I would usually be nicer but I had a whole evening planned before some ghost threw Paulina into the ghost zone for No Apparent Reason! Besides, something had been tugging at my core all day, I just couldn’t place it and it was getting annoying!
“We have to-” I cringed over in pain and it felt as though my core hada been shoved under tones of pressure.
I gasped for breath
“-ost boy! Ghost boy!” Paulina asked, getting incresingly worried. I grunted “Ghost boy are you okay?!” she asked
“Fright knight, gaurd Paulina.” I grunted, and then I flew off.
I flew towards my city, my haunt. My knight. My bird. I didn’t really understand what was going on but something was wrong, horribly wrong, with my bird, he was asking for help and I was going to answer.
I summoned a portal and flew through into some place, but where I was didn’t matter. I was looking at some pennywise rip off hurting MY BIRD!!! and I saw green.
-
I carried my bird out and held him in my arms, using my ectoplasm to heal him. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m going to bring you to your dad, you’re going to be alright.” I reassured
“Dad?” my bird asked weakly
“Your dad.” I reassured
“W-who are?” my bird tried to asked
“I’m Gotham.” I said “I owe you a great debt little bird.” I said “Healing my city, I’m so proud of you.” I cooed
“I- I didn’t fail you?” he asked hopefully
“You could never fail me, or your dad.” I told my bird.
-
I was stressing, I pulled my cowl on and off, Batman couldn’t help, Batman never helped and now Jason was gone! Jason was gone. Jason Was Gone. JASON WAS GONE. JASON WA- the door opened.
I spun around to see the silhouette of Gotham hovering in the air
“Gotham, Joker he-” I froze as Gotham stepped into the light. He was carrying Jason and dripping in blood- not either of their blood either.
“If you’ll excuse me, there’s a clown I have unfinished buisness with.” Gotham said, so calmly.
Gotham seemed calm, and yet the city raged. The earth shook in barely supressed rage, the sky thundered in booming claps like a clock ticking, the ocean roared in fury and unyielding anger, the wind shrieked and howled in grief. Gotham was angry.
-
“D-dad?” Jason sat up and I nearly sobbed in relief “Dad, Gotham saved me.” Jason said, he looked at the blood on the floor “Dad what happened to Gotham?!” Jason asked worriedly
“Gotham is fine. I’m more worried about what he’s going to do.” I said
“He’s going to kill Joker.” Jason stated, then he tilted his head “You’re not going to try stop him.”
“I don’t think anyone can stop Gotham.” I said honestly.
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piedinthepiper · 3 months
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Liked ★
Yandere!Seokjin x fem!reader
Summary: You liked him, liked as in past tense. Liked as in you didn’t like him anymore. He didn’t believe it for a second, and he’ll do anything to make you like him again.
Warnings: Cursing, stalking, Jin is kinda narcissistic?, he’s also mean and delusional, possessiveness, jealousy, voyeurism, smut, drugging, implied kidnapping
Wc: 5.9k
A/n: based on this req! Love the idea, hope you like it!
Disclaimer: This is 100% fiction. I am in no way saying that this is how any member of bts would act. Nor do I condone the actions detailed in the story. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. If any of the warnings trigger you, or you’re under 18 ¡do not read! I’m not your mother, and I don’t take any accountability for what you decide to read online!
He met you through Jimin. You were one of Jimin’s best friends, it seemed like he had known you for a long time.
So who were he to ruin Jimin’s image of you, and tell him that you were just so annoying. You were pretty yes, but it was something about your laugh. Something about the way you talked. It just rubbed Jin the wrong way. There are some people you just don’t click with, he thought to himself. As he looked at you from across the table. Some people are just not meant to be friends, and that’s ok. The only problem is that Jimin brought you with him no matter what. It was always “can y/n come?”. He asked Jimin once why he brought you around all the time.
“She just broke up with her boyfriend. Cut her some slack man.”
He had answered. But it had been eight months. Which, in his opinion, was more than enough time to heal from a breakup. But you still showed up. Every. Single. Time.
“What are you going to order, Jin?”
You asked him, looking back at him from across the table. You were slightly blushing for some reason. Everyone’s eyes turned to him, waiting for his response. In all honesty, he had been too busy thinking about you, to even read the menu.
“I don’t know yet.”
He answered in a stern voice.
“I really like the lobster here, it’s really good.”
Jin almost rolled his eyes at your comment.
“Really? Well I guess I’ll order that!”
He said with an overly excited tone. Not being able to control the sarcasm in his voice. Thankfully the waiter came before you could answer him. Everyone started saying their order, before it was his turn.
“I’ll have the salmon.”
He said and looked briefly over at you. To see if you’d have a reaction. You looked puzzled down at the menu for a second.
“I’ll have the salmon as well.”
“Wait! Jin, wait for me!”
You yelled after him, trying to run in your high heels. He had finally been able to leave. And thankfully he was able to mostly converse with Namjoon during the dinner. He had almost made it into the taxi, but you caught him. He couldn’t just shut the door in your face. He’s not directly mean to you, at least he tries not to be directly mean to you. But god, you were so annoying! Why couldn’t you just take a hint and leave him alone?
“What?”
You were a little out of breath, and needed a moment to catch your breath before talking.
“I was just- I live on the way to your place. Maybe we could, you know, share a taxi?”
He mentally cursed himself for not shutting the door in your face. Cause now he had to actually be alone with you for at least 10 minutes.
“Oh come on, I’ll pay for myself don’t worry.”
You said when you saw him hesitating.
“Fine.”
He simply answered and jumped in the backseat. Not caring to find an excuse.
“So, did you have fun tonight?”
You asked him once the taxi started moving. He sighed. Now he had to small talk with you as well.
“Yeah it was alright.”
He shrugged. He could see in his peripheral view that you were looking at him.
“The salmon was so good! You were so right about that one.”
You tried again, once he didn’t take the conversation further.
“I didn’t say anything to you about it. You just copied me.”
You laughed, thinking that he was just joking.
“You’re so funny!”
You said in between laughs, and even went as far as leaning over him in a fit of laughter. He sat completely still. Not engaging with you what so ever. Once you realised, you sat back up.
“We should go out for dinner more together. I think it would-“
“Please y/n! Just shut the fuck up!”
He suddenly bursted out. He didn’t mean to. It just came out.
“You don’t have to talk all the time. You’re so annoying!”
He looked at you, your smile was no where to be seen. And for some reason he missed it already.
“I’m sorry.”
He quickly mumbled, hoping that your lips would turn at least a little bit upwards. But they didn’t. You looked away from him, turning your face completely towards the window. Your entire body was trying the get the furtherest away from him as possible, and it hurt him for some reason. He sighed. Your place was coming up, he would probably feel better once you left the car. Out of sight, out of mind.
“I talk so much because I like you, Jin.”
You said, barley above a whisper. He looked back at you. The taxi stopped, signalising for you to get out.
“I really liked you.”
You gave him a last devastating look before opening the door and stepping out. You shut the door in his face before he could answer. It didn’t matter, he was left speechless. And he did in fact not feel any better now that you left the car. He felt even worse.
“Liked” you said you “liked him”. As in past tense. As in you didn’t like him anymore. He was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep, and when he can’t sleep he starts thinking. It had been a week since the incident in the taxi. The incident where you said you “liked” him. Whatever that meant.
He would give you an apology next weekend. Pull you aside before you sit down at the table. Explain that he was just tired, that he didn’t mean it. In the moment he meant it, but he didn’t mean to say it out loud. He was amazed by the fact that he actually felt sorry for you. He didn’t like you, so why was he so obsessed with getting you to like him? Maybe he liked you more than he thought? Nah. He told himself before rolling over and closing his eyes. Trying to think of something or anything else.
Friday came around eventually, and he was ready to meet the boys (and you) at a restaurant. He walked in, a little earlier than usual. He had to pull you aside before you sat down, just so it didn’t get awkward.
“You’re early today, what’s up bro?”
Jimin lit up once he saw Jin approaching the table. He sat down beside Jimin, briefly looking at the empty seat next to him.
“Where’s y/n?”
He asked once he realised it was only the two of them. You always arrived with Jimin. He always picked you up, even if it was a longer route. Jin felt weird just thinking about it. What if Jimin had feelings for you? Why would he go to such lengths if he didn’t? The feeling in his chest couldn’t be described as anything but jealousy.
“She’s not feeling well.”
He simply commented.
“Why?”
He asked with a smug face, slightly poking him in the side with his elbow. Jin rolled his eyes, leaning away from him.
“She’s always with you, it’s not weird that I’m asking.”
He scolded his younger friend. Jimin stopped, but giggled slightly at his defensiveness.
“Whatever you say man.”
Jimin said, before changing the topic. Jin wondered if you truly was sick, or if you just didn’t want to face him. You didn’t strike him as a cowardly person. You would probably show up if you could. So the only explanation to why you wouldn’t show up to hear his apology, must be that you were sick of course.
But two weeks after that, you didn’t show. Two months passed and still no sign of you. Jin wanted to ask Jimin, but he didn’t want Jimin to think he actually cared. But he did care. He wanted to apologise for being a dick, that’s all. His conscience needed to be cleared for him to move on. At least that’s what he told himself. The first weekend after the two month mark, (not that he kept track of the time or anything), the boys went to watch a football game. It was weird that you didn’t show, considering that you loved football. You wouldn’t miss out. So Jin decided to ask again.
“Is y/n still sick? Did she fucking break her leg or something?”
He asked Jimin once they had found their places.
“I don’t know man. I asked her if she wanted to come, she said she was going with someone else.”
He said and shrugged. Someone else? Why was he hurt that you would rather go with someone else?
“Ok, I’ll go get a beer. Anyone want one?”
Namjoon was the only one who raised a hand, small excuses of work in the morning was heard from the others. He squeezed out of the row of seats. He needed to clear his head, he had to stop this obsession he had with you. After the game he would call you, and if you didn’t pick up he would go to your house. Enough was enough, he had to see you.
“Jin?”
Your voice made him turn around. There you were, two beers in hand and the familiar blue shirt of your favourite team. Your hair was in a ponytail, so he could clearly see your entire face. And you were smiling. Smiling at him like what happened two months and a week ago was ancient history.
“Y/n? What are you doing here?”
He mentally face palmed himself for asking something so obvious. You looked down at your shirt and back up at him.
“The same reason you are, I suppose.”
He laughed awkwardly, before you both went quiet.
“Look, y/n. I just wanted to ap-“
“Hey, babe. I’ll hold these for you.”
A man’s voice interrupted him. He looked at the man who approached you take your beers. You looked at him as well before looking back to Jin.
“I’m sorry, this is my boyfriend Hoseok.”
Jin was left speechless at your choose of words to describe the man. You had a boyfriend now?! The feeling of jealousy started to spread through his chest again.
“This is Jin, Jimin’s friend.”
You told this Hoseok, when he didn’t answer. Jimin’s friend? That was it? He was offended by the fact that you didn’t view him as more. You had a crush on him for gods sake!
“I’d shake your hand man, but you know.”
He raised the beers in his hand awkwardly. Jin still kept quiet. Not wanting to utter a simple word to the man you dared calling your boyfriend.
“I’ll catch up with you, just go back to the seats, ok?”
You told your boyfriend, and he happily complied walking away from the uncomfortable situation.
“Why are you acting so strange?”
He shook his head.
“I don’t know. I just- I thought you had a crush on me. But now you have a boyfriend, so.”
You smiled at him.
“I liked you, yeah. But after you rejected me in that taxi, I moved on. It’s not that deep, some people just don’t click.”
His stomach turned into knots, he hated the way you sounded like him. He hated the way you spoke about him. That it wasn’t that deep? Well, it was really deep to him. Extremely deep actually.
“I’m sorry, y/n. I really am. I should’ve never said those things to you.”
He managed to apologise, regardless of the burning anger he felt inside. How dared you reject him? He rejected you first.
“Jin, it’s ok. Seriously. It’s all in the past.”
You patted his shoulder before taking a step away from him.
“Tell the boys I said hi.”
You said before walking away. This was not how this was going to end. He had spent two months and a week thinking about exactly how you would respond, and what would happen after. You were not supposed to be so nonchalant and run away to your new boyfriend. You were supposed to accept his apology and run into his arms. Maybe even give him a kiss and a blowjob for his effort to be so empathetic. He was going to make things right.
He couldn’t sleep again. How could he after you basically dumped him? So he started thinking. Why would you do such a thing? Why would you hurt him? He knows that he hurt you, but he apologised. So you should stop whatever prank you got going on and come back to the group. Come back to him. He really didn’t know why he felt this need for you. Before all this he literally couldn’t stand you. But now it’s like he yearned for you. And it was baffling to him that you didn’t feel the same.
Maybe you were just using that Hoseok guy to make him jealous. Yeah, that’s it. This was your payback. He laughed at the thought and sat up in his bed. Turning on the lamp on his nightstand. Might as well pay you a visit.
He payed the taxi driver before closing the door carefully. It was the middle of the night, not a soul to see in your neighbourhood. He looked up at your apartment building, he knew you lived on the seconds floor. The light in your living room was on. He quickly looked down at his phone. 02:38 am. You should’ve been asleep already.
He walked over to the other side of the road to get a better view of your living room. Trying to get a glimpse of you in your natural habitat. And to his surprise you were there. Completely naked. He felt a familiar feeling in his groin once he saw what was going on behind those walls. You were on the sofa on top of your new boyfriends dick. Your back was turned towards the window, giving Jin a perfect view of your ass bouncing up and down. Jin ripped his eyes away from you to check if anyone else was seeing this. But no lights were on, and no bystanders. What a freak you were, having sex right in front of a window where anyone could see.
Or maybe you were doing it for him? The curtains were slightly open, just enough open for him to see you. Maybe you didn’t shut them completely, for him? Maybe you hoped he would show up after the two of you met the same day? It was working for him. Mesmerised by the way your body moved in pleasure, he slid his hand into his pyjama bottoms. He couldn’t help himself. You looked so good, and you were so perfectly placed that he could see the dick going in and out of you. His only wish was hearing you. He wanted to hear you moan so bad. Suddenly you slowed down. Jin’s hand moved faster, trying to reach release before the show was over. Just one last bounce before you sank down beside him. Now facing the window. He continued, now seeing your heaving naked chest sprawled out on the sofa. He was close, very close. And once he saw you get up and walk towards the window completely naked, body glistening, tits slightly bouncing, he couldn’t help but feel a euphoric release.
Reality hit him immediately after. In the time it took for him to ride out his orgasm, you had made it to the window. Now staring directly at him. He quickly pulled his hand out of his trousers, turning around to face the wall immediately. The sticky wet spot that made the fabric of his pyjamas stick to his skin, was a shameful reminder. He didn’t know if you had seen him. He didn’t know if you were calling the police, or still looking at him. But he stood completely still, awaiting his destiny. After a few minutes he pulled his phone up from his pocket, calling for a taxi back to his place.
It wasn’t until he heard the taxi pull up he dared turning around. His eyes flickered up to the window. No sight of you, no sight of nothing. The curtains were shut completely this time.
It was Saturday, Jimin had invited the boys to his house for a few drinks and some food. Jin hadn’t gotten drunk in some time and quite frankly needed it to forget whatever madness happened the weekend before. So he gladly accept once Jimin proposed the idea in the group chat. Something he would regret.
“Can you get the door? I can’t let this burn man.”
Jimin asked and pointed to whatever he was making on the stove. Jin, being the first to show up that night was more than happy to welcome one of his mates, and walked over to the door.
“Jin! It’s so nice to see you again.”
You said and gave him a small hug as you stepped into Jimin’s apartment. He was left speechless. By you, but also by the man that followed you inside. You brought your boyfriend?
“Hey man!”
Hoseok said and stretched out his hand for him to shake. Jin just stood there looking at his hand. He couldn’t move. Too terrified that this was your way of revenge. You were going to expose him as the creep that jerked off outside your house to all his friends. And on top of that you brought your boyfriend to rub it even more in his face.
“You know what, I’m a hugger anyways.”
Hoseok laughed and pulled him in to a tight hug once he didn’t shake his hand. Once he pulled away from the hug, Jin smiled at him. He couldn’t risk getting on the bad side of Hoseok either. Maybe you told him?
“Sorry, Hoseok right?”
He asked and took his hand in his. Your boyfriend chuckled and nodded. What a ray of fucking sunshine of a boyfriend you got. Not completely different to himself, he thought.
“Oh please, just call me Hobi!”
He smiled before walking past Jin and following you inside. Jin continued to stand by the door for a second as he heard both you and your boyfriend greet Jimin in the kitchen. He had to talk to you. He had to pull you aside before you got the chance to reveal his big dirty secret. The boys would think he was disgusting, a creep, a weirdo. What the hell was he doing here? He had to run away. Run far far away and never come back.
“Are you ok?”
He got ripped out of his thoughts and realised the tall figure standing in front of him.
“Ah, Namjoon. You scared me.”
He tried to play off. As if he wasn’t standing in front of the open entrance door just staring out into the hallway.
“I’m ok yeah, but what about you? What have you been up to?”
He said and threw his arm around Namjoon’s shoulders, leading him into the apartment.
“Woah, ok. It’s only been a week since we last saw each other.”
An hour had passed. You still hadn’t said anything. Not even mentioned that night. He had taken a few shots out of agony and suspense. He couldn’t get drunk. No, not while you were a ticking bomb ready to ruin his image forever. He had to stay sober so he could defend himself whenever the situation arose. Or if he was lucky enough to get you alone so he could convince you, hell maybe even beg for you not to say anything. He would do anything for you. For you not to say anything, of course.
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
You announced, slightly intoxicated. You were so cute, your face a little red and your words a little slow.
“I have to go to the bathroom too!”
Jin quickly said, getting up quickly. The room got quiet. He realised he had said that a little loud and with a little too much excitement.
“Ok.”
You shrugged, walking away from the table. Everyone started talking again, meaning he was in the clear. He stumbled after you.
“After you, princess.”
You said as you proudly held the bathroom door open for him. He would’ve smiled at your joke if this wasn’t a serious situation.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go first.”
You mumbled and started unbuttoning your trousers. He nodded. He didn’t even have to pee.
“Y/n, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-“
“I’m not drunk enough to pee while you’re watching me.”
He panicked at your words and didn’t know what to do with himself.
“Oh- uh. Do you want me to leave?”
You laughed.
“No silly. Just turn around.”
He did as instructed.
“I’m sorry, ok? I should’ve never done that! Please, just don’t tell the others y/n. I won’t recover from it.”
He started pleading, still facing the door. You went quiet for a few seconds. He gulped, anxious of what you would answer.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
You said and flushed the toilet. He turned around knowing you were finished. You were struggling with the button of your jeans, but looking at him with a confused look.
“Are you playing with me? Please if you are, don’t, I can’t handle that right now.”
You started washing your hands.
“No, Jin. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is this about that time in the taxi again? Cause I told you it’s ok.”
“No. I mean- uh. Yes?”
He didn’t know what to say. Did you really mean it? Had you not seen him that night? A wave of relief washed over him. If you were telling the truth he was the luckiest man alive.
“What?”
“It’s about last weekend.”
He tested, seeing if you would remember.
“And?”
You asked puzzled. He let out a breath of relief. You were completely clueless.
“I didn’t mean to be so awkward with your- ehhh, Hobi.”
He managed to get out, not wanting to call him your boyfriend out loud. Now that he wasn’t caught and labelled a total pervert, he still had a chance to win you back.
“My Hobi, huh? You’re cute Jin.”
You said as you unlocked the door.
“You’re forgiven by the way.”
You closed the door behind you, and he quickly locked it. He had never felt more relieved in his entire life. Maybe you weren’t looking at him, maybe you were just looking around to see if anyone saw? And maybe he was fortunate enough to be well enough hidden that night to not get caught. Well, he knew he would be more careful the next time. He shook his head, baffled by his own words. The next time? He thought as he flushed the toilet. He didn’t understand what he felt towards you, but he wanted there to be a next time. He wanted the next time to be him underneath you, not your stupid boyfriend. He unlocked the door and started walking down the hallway. He didn’t want to admit it to himself before, but maybe he actually liked you. Like, liked liked you. He sat back down at the table. Taking another shot now that he could actually get drunk.
“Ooo, where are you going?”
Jimin asked you. Jin hadn’t heard the first part of the conversation, but pretended he had been here the entire time.
“This very fancy spa hotel. He said it was an early birthday present.”
You said and looked lovingly at your boyfriend.
“Wow, you’re lucky! You must really love her, Hobi!”
“You’re leaving?”
Jin asked you, ignoring Jimin’s hilarious comment, and quite honestly he didn’t want to hear Hobi’s answer to that. You nodded.
“Yeah, next Friday.”
He took another shot, drowning the jealousy that was starting to bubble inside him.
“I just don’t know what to do with the cats. I’ve asked a bunch of people, but everyone’s busy.”
“I’ll watch them!”
Jin blurted out, almost too excited.
“Are you sure? I’ll pay you if you want to-“
“No, no need to pay me. Don’t have anything happening next weekend anyways.”
“Weren’t you going out of town to see your parents next weekend?”
Namjoon asked with confused brows. Jin mentally cursed him for almost ruining his plan.
“No, that’s the weekend after. I’m completely free next weekend, ready to watch some cats.”
You smiled at him, he had missed that smile so much. To ever think that he didn’t like your smile was insane. What was even more insane was the fact that he blindly said yes to watch your cats, just to be in your house. But he’ll happily feed those little fuckers if it meant that he had full access to your home.
“Again, thank you so much. You’re a life saver!”
You yelled out the window of your car as you and your boyfriend drove away. He waved goodbye as he watched the car slowly disappear in the horizon. Once you were gone he hurried into your apartment, ready to snoop around. He only did it to get to know you more of course. He wanted to know every single little thing about you that only your home could reveal. He sat down on the sofa on the exact spot where he saw you have sex. He felt the soft fabric between his fingers, thinking of that night. He slowly laid down face first, wanting to be close to the spot where you sat completely naked. He rubbed his cheek on it, slightly smelling hints of your perfume. He could stay like that forever. Just frolicking in your scent.
But one of your cats jumped up beside his face, ruining the moment. He got up, annoyed at the grey fluffy animal. He silently pushed the cat off, but when it once again jumped up beside him he decided to look around somewhere else.
He found the bathroom, opening up the cupboard next to the mirror. Some makeup, some skin care, tweezers, tampons. Nothing exciting. He opened the door to your shower, nothing but numerous soaps. He looked over at the bin for a second and wondered if he was willing to go that low. Once he saw your dirty laundry he decided against it. He opened the lid and started digging, a mixture of your perfume and your natural scent hit him. He had never been happier. He suddenly stopped and pulled out a singular thong. It was baby pink with lace. He imagined how good you would look in it. He stuffed it in his hoodie, deciding to venture off to your bedroom.
He immediately opened the nightstand, hoping for something good. And you delivered. Toys of all kinds in different flashy colours. He smiled as he picked up the hot pink dildo. He wondered if you ever thought of him while using it. The thought alone making his pants feel tighter. He walked back to the sofa, he knew what he wanted to do now.
Jin was watching tv in your house once he heard the door open. He knew you would be arriving that day, so he managed to be on his best behaviour and not jerk off in every room of your apartment that day. Small things to make you happy. He quickly got up to welcome you.
“You got home quite late, I was starting to worry.”
No he wasn’t, he knew exactly at what time you would be home. He found a copy of your reservation at the hotel and calculated the time it took for you to get here. But he wanted you to know that he cared.
“No need, I’m home.”
You gave him a forced smile. Something was wrong. A feeling of excitement rushed through him. You came home alone, did this mean that-? Did you really break up with Hobi? He held back a smile.
“Here let me help you.”
He said and reached for your suitcase. Your grip tightened.
“No it’s fine.”
You simply said and rolled it into your apartment. He headed you sigh. He wanted to wait a little longer to see if you would break. Hoping that you would tell him the good news and not let the suspense kill him.
“Can we talk?”
You asked and looked back at him, removing your coat. He nodded understandingly as he took your coat before you could protest and hung it up. You walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Putting your head in your hands.
“Do you want something to drink? I can make you-“
“No, Jin. Please just sit down.”
You were visibly upset, so he followed up on your request. Sitting down opposite of you. You took a few seconds before you started talking.
“Do you care to explain why you did what you did while I was gone?”
You asked and looked up at him. He froze. This was not the good news he was expecting. This wasn’t happening. How could you know?
“What are you talking about?”
He said and tried to laugh it off. You shook your head.
“So you’re telling me you have no idea what I’m talking about?”
You asked strictly. He gulped.
“No, y/n. I’ve just been watching your cats. Did I do something wrong?”
You let out another sigh before you pulled up your phone. You touched the screen a few times before your turned it around, showing him exactly what you were talking about. He watched in horror as he saw himself in your bed with his hand around his dick. The other hand was holding your underwear under his nose.
“There are many more of these videos.”
You said as you retracted your phone.
“I don’t need to see them.”
He quickly answered as you put your phone back in your pocket.
“Fine, but I want to know why, Jin.”
His mind was racing. How the fuck was he supposed to dig himself out of this one? You had physical proof now. He couldn’t deny it anymore.
“I didn’t know I was being filmed.”
He muttered as a poor excuse.
“Me neither. I set those cameras up when I didn’t think I would find someone to watch the cats. Unfortunately for you I forgot to take them down.”
He went silent again, slipping his hands into his deep pockets. Feeling around, trying to come up with a solution.
“Please tell me you have a logical explanation for all this. Why did you masturbate every single day with my stuff while I was gone?”
You seemed more upset that you couldn’t make any sense out of it, compared to what he actually did. Maybe if he just confessed you would forgive him.
“I like you, y/n. No, I actually think I love you. I’m in love with you.”
He blurted out. You were taken aback at his sudden honesty.
“I don’t understand why, I used to hate you. I never liked you. But ever since the incident in the taxi I haven’t been able to take my mind off you.”
He reached for your hand over the table, but you quickly pulled away.
“I love you, y/n!”
“So why didn’t you tell me? Why did you do this instead? You realise how fucking crazy you sound right now, right?”
You snapped back at him. Coughing slightly afterwards at your sudden outburst.
“Let me make you a cup of tea, it’ll help with that cough.”
He said calmly. You shook your head.
“I don’t want tea, I want you to leave my house right now!”
“Please, can we just talk about this like adults? I don’t want to fight with you.”
You stopped, wanting to hear what he had to say.
“Let me put the kettle on, and I’ll tell you everything. Just please, I care about you.”
You touched your throat as you slowly nodded. He quickly got up and started the kettle.
“I did it because I didn’t want to ruin your relationship. I saw how happy you were with Hobi. I thought this was my only way to be close to you.”
He tried his best to get you to feel sorry for him. He knew you would be much better off with him than that excuse of a boyfriend you had. He just wanted to pull on your heartstrings. Even if it was completely a lie.
“I just- sorry. I’m sorry. But I’m crazy about you, y/n. I’ve never felt like this before. I didn’t know what to do.”
You looked down at the table as he prepared your tea.
“Do you want sugar and milk?”
He asked carefully.
“Just sugar.”
You answered after a few beats of silence. You were clearly fighting some sort of mental battle. But it was alright, he was going to make that decision for you.
“I really care about you. I’ve been nothing but a dick to you, I know. But I want to make it up to you.”
He placed the tea on the table before you. You stirred it a couple of times as you waited for the tea to get ready.
“It’s just really uncomfortable, Jin. Yes I used to have a crush on you but that doesn’t give you the right to do such things.”
You scolded him as you brought the cup to your mouth slightly blowing at the hot beverage.
“Again, I’m sorry.”
He said and bowed his head in fake defeat. This wasn’t his loss. Sooner than later you would be his.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you. I need time to think about all this. It’s all too much for me right now.”
You took a sip, feeling the sweet warm drink soothe your sore throat. You immediately took another big sip to get the feeling back.
“I get it. I’ll give you all the time you need when we get to your new home.”
He said bluntly. You crossed your eyebrows at his comment.
“My new home?”
He nodded.
“You’ll love it there. Just you and me. We can spend as much time as you’d want to heal all the shitty things I’ve done to you.”
You shook your head.
“What? What are you talking about?”
You felt your sight getting blurry, your body suddenly felt really heavy.
“What- what have you done to me?”
You slurred as you fell back in your chair. Tears forming in the corners of your eyes as you felt yourself loosing control of your body.
“It’s ok, baby.”
Jin got up from his chair and walked over to you. In your last efforts you slung yourself off the chair and onto the floor, trying to crawl away from him.
“I’m sorry, but I had to do this. I’m sure you’ll forgive me once you realise what an amazing life we’ll have together.”
He bowed down and grabbed you. Making you look at him. Finally you would be his and his only.
“Fuck you.”
You managed to say before the drugs made you close your eyes and fall limp in his arms. You looked beautiful, he thought. Like sleeping beauty just waiting for him to save you. It would probably take some time for you to forgive him, but like he said, he would give you all the time you needed. And eventually you would realise that you were made for each other. He would make sure of that.
——————————————————————————
Thank you for reading! Do you want to read more?
Masterlist
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azzibuckets · 1 month
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Paper Rings [Part 9/10 | Paige Bueckers]
paige bueckers x fem!reader
summary: you and paige start to heal
word count: 1.5k
masterlist w/ all parts
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It was 2 AM when you finally returned to the hotel room. You’d hung out with some of the girls until they announced that Paige was coming, and then you’d mumbled something about needing to finish up some work and went to a coffee shop. Once the baristas started giving you strange looks, you went to a nearby bar, nursing a Sprite and your feelings in the corner of the room.
You were wasting away time, hoping Paige would be sound asleep by the time you returned to the hotel room. You couldn’t force yourself to face her. It would be easier just to ignore everything and creep into the room in the wee hours of morning.
Except when you tiptoed into the room, Paige was sitting on the bed. There was a low murmur from the NBA game playing on the TV, and she was faced towards it, but the distant look in her eyes told you that she wasn’t paying any attention to it at all.
You swallowed, letting the door close. Paige lurched up and when her eyes fell on you, it was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. “Where were you?” She scrambled off the bed, but didn’t make a move towards me. “I thought something happened.”
“I was just out,” you mumbled, tossing your purse on the counter and slumping on the armchair.
“You can’t just do that.” Paige’s chest heaved. She was close now, and you coud see the dark circles rimming her eyes. Her hair was in a messy ponytail but she looked as beautiful as ever. “You can’t just disappear and not tell anyone. I was calling the rest of the girls but no one was responding because they’re all asleep, and I was getting freaked out.”
A wave of guilt washed over you. To be honest, you hadn’t thought that Paige had cared enough to wonder about your whereabouts. But she’d stayed up, when she was usually in bed by 10, and she’d been worrying her mind over you.
“Are you okay?” Paige asked, shifting from one foot to the other.
You didn’t answer, resting your head on one of the pillows on the couch. “Listen, I know we agreed earlier to sleep on the bed, but if you’re still upset then I can take the ground. It’s really not a big deal,” she stammered out in a rush, looking down at her feet.
At this point, you were exhausted. The overwhelming noise of the bar had given you a pounding headache, and all you wanted to do was sleep. You stood up, slightly swaying, and Paige reached to steady you, but she stopped herself, drawing her hands back to her chest.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you finally responded. “It doesn’t matter, Paige. I’m really tired. Let’s just go to sleep, okay?”
She nodded, following you with careful eyes as you made your way to the bed. She turned off the lights and gingerly sat on the edge. “You sure?” she asked one more time.
You closed your eyes, slowly breathing out. “Paige.”
“Okay, okay.” She pulled the covers over her body and you both laid there, staring at the ceiling.
For what seemed like hours, you stayed like that, not even bothering to close your eyes. Despite your exhaustion, you couldn’t seem to fall asleep, and neither could Paige.
“Y/N?” She whispered. You clamped your mouth shut, wondering what she would say if she thought you were asleep. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be this close to you and can’t not explain myself. If you’re asleep then whatever, I guess this is practice, but if you’re awake, you don’t have to say anything if I can keep going but…” she trailed off, seeming to be gathering her thoughts.
“I know there’s no excuse for the way I treated you. The things I said. Every day I wake up and regret everything that happened.” She audibly swallowed. “But I need you to know that I didn’t say those things because I didn’t want you. Because fuck, I did. I do. I was just so scared. And I was a pussy, so instead of being mature and dealing it with it head on, I ran away.”
You didn’t know what to say yet, but you shifted your head against the pillow so Paige would know that you were listening.
“I didn’t think I was good enough for you. You were my best friend. You told me everything you wanted, how you wanted to settle down with someone nice and have kids and everything. And knowing who I was, how many other girls I’ve accidentally hurted, I didn’t trust myself to not hurt you too.” Her breaths were shaky now, and you could tell that she was doing that thing where she was trying not to cry. Your heart ached, and it took everything in you not to reach over and touch her.
“I woke up the next morning, and I felt like such a horrible person. That I’d taken advantage of you.” She was crying now, sobs racking her body. She sounded so wrecked, so hurt that when you closed your eyes, tears slipped down your cheeks too.
“I don’t even know how those words came out of me. None of it was true. I hope you know that. And I know I hurt you really bad. But I swear on my life that’s something I’ll try to never do again, if you’ll take me back.” You felt the bed shift as Paige wiped her eyes with her arm. “And I totally get it if you want nothing to do with me ever again. But I’m fucking selfish, and I want to be around you.”
You gasped, tears flowing freely now. The hole in your heart was widening, threatening to eat you alive. Every fiber of your being was screaming at you, telling you to roll around and assure her that everything would be okay.
“This past year has been hell. I miss getting ice cream with you and I miss seeing you at my basketball games and I miss seeing you hang out with Drew and being so good to him. I miss the way you laugh and the way you look in my clothes. I miss you.”
You sat upright. Paige sat up too, surprise in her eyes. The moonlight filtering in through the window was bright enough for you to just make out her features - the wrinkle in her forehead from the downturn of her eyebrows, the redness of her eyes and her lashes coated with wetness, the fullness of her lips, the slant of her jaw. How did she still manage to look so beautiful like this?
“Y/N?” she said softly.
Leaning forward, you pressed your lips against hers. She gasped, before she laced her fingers through your hair, pulling you closer. You were on top of her now, straddling her lap, your legs wrapped around her waist.
After a few moments, she pushed you away. Her eyes were half lidden. “Wait,” she panted. “I don’t want to-,”
“You don’t want to what? Kiss me?” You said, peppering kisses down her jawline.
“Y/N, no. God,” she said. Her grip on your waist was tight, the veins in her neck flexing. “I want to, you know I do. But I don’t want this to end up with just sex and have it complicate things even further.”
You stopped kissing her, instead leaning your head into her neck, breathing in her familiar scent that you had missed all too much. “Yeah, okay.”
“Okay?” Paige leaned down, bringing you with her. You were lying half on top of her, and you were so comfortable that you didn’t want to move, but you didn’t want to suffocate her. “If I’m getting heavy, let me know and-”
“No, fuck. This is perfect,” she interrupted, reassuring you.
You tilted your head up to look at her, and her eyes softened. You realized that you’d started crying again when she brought her thumb up to wipe at the tears on your cheeks.
You buried your head back in the crook of her neck, allowing yourself to release all your worries and soak in her presence. She ran her fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp in the same way she’s done so many times before. “You’re okay,” she murmured, soothing you to sleep.
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tarotbiscuits · 7 months
Text
𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔞 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔡: 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔣𝔰
(this is for my female audience interested in men)
˜”°•.˜”°• Who are they?
What do they have to say to you?
What are their intentions towards you? •°”˜.•°”
We'll see what their energy (and the cards) say
Try to meditate on the piles beforehand and choose the one which calls you the most. If you don't feel drawn to any of them, close your eyes, take a deep breath and open your eyes. The pile you notice first is your pile!! If you feel drawn to two piles, i'd suggest choosing the one you're most drawn to, as the messages tend to be similar in nature.
𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 1 𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 2
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𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 3 𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 4
PILE 1
Signs this might be for you:
444 is significant to you
you have a flowy red dress that you love wearing and it looks great on you (i see you turning around happily in that dress)
Who is your fs?
the hermit, temperance, page of cups rx, page of wands rx, five of swords, king of cups
Greetings, pile 1! For starters, i see that your fs is someone that you’ve already been in a romantic connection with. Your fs is someone who is more introverted or a loner at heart. He usually takes a lot of time for himself to balance his emotions out in his day-to-day life. He can be rather emotionally immature at times, not admitting his feelings for his love interests due to poor communication skills. I feel like he’s not the type to take risks. He wishes to be like everyone else, instead of standing out from the crowd. Your fs is a guy who doesn’t engage in conflicts much. Whenever he gets into conflict with someone, he tends to leave the situation to meditate upon it instead of lashing out. What I see coming for him is the fact that soon enough, he’ll be in his king of cups energy, because he took the time to get to know himself and seek answers to his problems. He’ll become an emotionally mature man, who can be honest about his feelings and support you emotionally when you need him.
His message for you
tower rx, four of cups, justice rx
“I’m sorry (i felt a lump in my throat right after that). Justice wasn’t done in our connection and it’s all my fault. I did you wrong big time and I don’t expect you to even forgive me, let alone take me back. I was a fool in the past when I denied your offer. I pursued other options over you (i don’t feel like this is a third party situation, just casual dating). Now I realized that having a lot of options won’t bring me emotional fulfillment and happiness if they’re not you. Our break-up was a traumatic experience for me and I did everything I could to numb my feelings and forget about you.”
His intentions towards you
death rx, ten of swords rx
Dear pile 1, I’m sorry to break it to you, but for now, your fs wants to heal from the connection. He feels like there are some demons from your past connection that still follow him and he wants to stop them from inflicting more pain on him. He wants to let go of the past and move on with his life. Considering he’s going to be your fs, the story isn’t probably over yet, i think?. Knight of cups rx is at the bottom of the deck, he feels like he can’t make a love offer rn. Under this there’s the queen of cups, omg he sees you as his soulmate. He deff still loves you, but is too heartbroken over the past. Give him time, pile 1. It’s just not the right time for the two of you to be together now.
Extra:
likes reading a lot
also likes ducks (and other feathered animals)
zodiac placements: virgo sun, water signs (cancer, scorpio, pisces) in big 6
PILE 2
Signs this might be for you:
33 is relevant to you
you have sneezed recently or you sneeze a lot
Who is your fs?
three of pentacles rx, three of wands, king of swords rx, seven of wands, ace of wands horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards), eight of swords, the world (bottom of the deck)
Hello pile 2, hope you’re having a great day! Your fs is someone who’s independent – he prefers to work alone than in groups or in collaboration with another person. He’s likely an adventurous type who travels a lot for work, but also in his free time. When he travels for fun, he likes to explore the natural wonders of our planet: hiking in the woods, tasting the freshness of the water streams around him. On the downside, he can be rather arrogant with his words, feeling like he’s above others intellectually or that people aren’t as honest and truthful like him. He can get a lot of backlash because of this, which makes him feel like he needs to defend for himself most of the time. I see that your fs wants to pursue a new creative endeavor, likely stemming from one of his passions, but he’s afraid. He is advised to take a leap of faith and do it anyway. He won’t know what’s in store for him unless he tries.
You two will probably be in a long distance relationship for a while. He’ll deff open you up to new experiences, getting you out of your comfort zone. Since he’s well travelled, count on him when you two are booking a holiday destination – he tends to know the coolest spots for taking pictures :)
His message for you
sun horizontal, page of pentacles horizontal, three of swords rx, king of cups, four of cups, five of pentacles rx
“Hey baby, it’s okay. The sun isn’t shining today, but that doesn’t mean it won’t shine tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day. I know you’re afraid to take a new beginning, you’ve been hurt so bad by love and all I want to do is take away your pain. I promise you, I’ll take away your pain one day, okay? Just don’t close yourself off to new possibilities, heck even in love. Don’t wait for me. Live your life, explore other options. See what you like and what you don’t. Just remember, you’re never alone. There are people who will love you for who you truly are, your family loves you (i sense that you might have had a difficult upbringing, a dysfunctional family, especially an absent mother, but your fs doesn’t know that yet). I will. You’re never alone, remember that.”
His intentions towards you
the high priestess rx, wheel of fortune rx, the star, nine of pentacles
Pile 2, your fs is closing himself off from your connection in the higher realm for now. Like pile 1, he feels like now is not the right time for you two to be together – your connection is divinely guided by the Universe and his higher self is guiding him towards some hardships in his personal life to learn valuable lessons, which are needed for your connection. He’s hopeful that you exist and he knows that you will be reunited at some point, but for now, he’s happily single and he wants to focus on maintaining his independence.
Extra:
rice is very significant (either his origins are from Asia or he strongly loves/hates rice)
zodiac placements: strong sagittarius, especially sagittarius sun/venus, gemini sun (it might be aspected with pluto, i see mostly conjuncting pluto or squaring/opposing pluto), gemini mercury, leo in big 6 (mostly ascendant and mars)
PILE 3
Signs this might be for you:
you have blue eyes (sorry guys, i can’t get any more signs for this one; he’s also telling me that you’ve eaten something specific recently but i can’t see what; i'm hearing mozarella sticks? lmk if it resonates, i'm not sure on this one)
Who is your fs?
five of pentacles rx, the tower rx, the emperor rx, temperance, page of cups rx, eight of wands, the star (bottom of the deck)
Woahh, pile 3. When i was shuffling the cards for this question, a lot of them fell down. Your fs has a lot to tell you about himself!! I think he has been often told to shut up by others. That’s what made him keep to himself a lot, but with you, he wants to tell you everything. Hahaha, now he's got a much calmer energy. Pile 3, your fs is the type of person that has outbursts of anger and he lashes out everything, but after that he’s like a lamb lmao. I see that your fs has been through some deep, dark shit in his past, likely involving his parents. Either his parents divorced at some point and it affected him deeply or his father abandoned him at a very young age. This broke down his world at the time, but i see that he has healed from it. He wished he had a happy childhood, but he just wants peace now and he got it. I felt his energy for a moment where he kept saying “I just want the fights to be over already” and then he kept repeating “over” again and again in a very demanding tone. I’d say his unhappy childhood still haunts him at times (i got death rx on the bottom of the deck when i clarified the first 3 cards), but he does believe in true love. He’s someone who tends to keep his feelings in check and his life in moderation. He can act immature at times, but i feel like he does feel sorry for his actions and tries his best to become a better person.
His message for you
six of swords, nine of pentacles, the well rx (i'm using ethereal visions by matt hughes it's my only deck ;-;), knight of swords
“Be strong. You have walked away from so many storms, that you’ve become this beautiful butterfly on your own. And if you haven’t walked away from those toxic people – do it NOW. I’ve walked away from my parents and friends, was it easy? No, but I’m much better now. You gotta be who you truly are as a person, you’re so fricking valuable. You need to be upfront and direct with people. I’ll teach you if you can’t. Why have you blocked your creative juices? Was it because of pain? Don’t let past hurts hinder your light. You are this beautiful goddess that is above EVERYONE else (i can really feel this feminine energy coming from you). I’ll worship the ground you walk on. Just don’t let them win.”
Pile 3, i feel like some of you are healing from a break-up, but you are already almost fully healed. You’re glowing and your fs adores that.
His intentions towards you
six of cups rx, page of swords rx, king of wands rx, wheel of fortune horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards)
For some of you, i feel like you already know them. Your fs might have been a childhood friend, a neighbor or a classmate that you used to hang around with when you were kids, just doing fun stuff. I don’t think he was in your life for a long time, you probably lost contact for some reason. I also don’t think you two were romantically involved, but if you did, it was more of an innocent fling.
For others of you, this is someone completely new and the six of cups rx might just point out to his unhappy childhood. He’s been pondering on it lately and feels very sad, maybe even depressed.
Either way, I feel like he’s going to enter your life really soon, but it won’t be at the right time. He’s not someone that is guided by a higher force, his intuition is quite blocked and he tends to act on his impulsive feelings without thinking of the consequences too much.
If you already know him, he might tell you about some harsh truth. Either point out to something you do which isn’t right, so he’s gonna call you out on that or he’ll say something regarding the times when you hung out as kids, which didn’t sit right with him.
If you don’t know him, he’s probably going to show off to you in a very “look at me, I’m better than the other guys” kinda way.
Whether you already know him or you will in the near future, i do feel like he has romantic feelings for you and he feels like he has got a chance to be with you, but like i said, the universe is saying that right now is not the right time for your union. It’s very likely that he’s still in school/college and is very focused on it. He doesn’t know if he should choose to pursue you or his career rn. This last bunch of cards just flew so this has been heavily on his mind. I’d say don’t engage too much with him, this is only the beginning of your love story. It will solve itself out when the timing is right.
Extra:
bichons/havanese dogs might be significant to your or them
zodiac placements: heavy aries and leo energy (i wouldn’t be surprised if most of his birth chart is filled with fire placements), libra sun or an afflicted sun (with lots of squares and oppositions)  
PILE 4
Signs this might be for you:
you had a very hard time picking a pile (yeah, i literally didn’t know if i should make this pile or not)
your fav color is purple
Who is your fs?
three of swords horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards), the emperor horizontal, three of cups rx, nine of wands rx, knight of wands, six of wands
Pile 4!!! Spirit was telling me to do this reading asap because it’s urgent (and then i got a call lmao). Your fs is likely a very busy guy, getting calls all the time. Damn, I just saw him in a suit. He’s someone influential in his career for sure, probably works in business. Even the cards hardly came out, like he didn’t want to talk because he’s too busy atm. I see that for your fs, career is everything. He is used to declining invitations to social events and parties because he would rather spend his time and attention on making money. He’s very VERY successful in what he does, i see massive recognition here, because he seizes every opportunity to advance in his career and he goes for them!! Sadly, he wasn’t always like this. At times he felt like the competition was too much and that he won’t succed, but in the end he gave his all, despite his feelings. He is advised not to become too bossy with the people around him, even though i feel like he isn’t like that anyway. I also believe that his overfixation on his career comes from a past break-up that he hasn’t processed fully. He is advised to process it and move on, instead of trying to simply forget it by doing something else.
His message for you
The chariot rx, queen of cups, page of pentacles clarified by two of swords, eight of cups clarified by seven of cups, five of pentacles rx clarified by the hermit, five of swords rx clarified by the king of wands
This is more about his ex and what happened to him, I feel like he really needs to vent so be gentle with him pile 4
“I wasn’t ready for her. I wasn’t ready for our relationship, but my feelings for her were so much, I just couldn’t hold them inside of me anymore. At that time I believed this was a new beginning for us, one that we would both (and i emphasize both) build for, something which would have lasted for a long time (i’m hearing everlasting). I felt like something was off from the beginning, but I thought it was only my imagination playing tricks. I wanted to take it slow because I wasn’t sure…oh boy, was I wrong. I had to leave when I found out that she was cheating on me this whole time. I poured my heart to her and she cheated…I don’t want to remember what happened after. It took me a long time to get over it, get over her (i’m hearing sleepless nights). I felt so alone and abandoned, I didn’t want to talk with anyone, I drank myself to sleep. But this experience made me into who I am today. I know I’m strong. I weathered storms no one would have imagined and I came out victorious. But I’m never leaving my heart to anyone else.
I don’t know if you exist…I’m feeling strong now, but what if it’s just a façade? Do you even exist? (death is on the bottom of the deck , under the death card is the queen of wands rx, he really doesn’t feel like you exist). I feel like the world is filled with harsh people, people that only want to benefit from others and I’m not letting others exploit me anymore.”
Pile 4, i honestly feel like he has so much love to give to others, even to you, but i’m not sure if he sees that. He will make a great partner, i can feel this already. Please show him that you will be there for him and that your feelings are genuine. He needs it.
His intentions towards you
four of pentacles, page of wands, ace of cups, seven of swords
Well, he’s deff focusing on his finances rn for sure. I see that there will be a passionate, new beginning in your connection. I don’t think you two have met, i feel like this is a fresh energy. I heard that you will have to make the first step tho. He will open up to you quite fast after that, but he will also feel a bit wary in the beginning. He doesn’t want the past to repeat itself. I see him trying to peek into your phone when you’re texting someone, just to make sure you’re not cheating on him or anything. He does have the tendency to become paranoid, which can get out of hand if not addressed. My advice to you is to have open communication at all cost. I see a lot of love between the two of you. Don’t let it go to waste.
Extra:
zodiac placements: capricorn in big 3, sun/ascendant conjunct saturn, strong sagittarius and leo in big 6, mars in aries or sagittarius, scorpio energy in big 6 or pluto is significant
545 notes · View notes
grandlinedreams · 8 months
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[heads up!: cursing, brief mention of implied abuse (not from Zoro)]
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“Just shut up, damn it! Go find someone else to pester instead of bugging me!”
He doesn’t mean it. The moment the words slip from his lips, he knows he’s going to regret it – especially since it’s born out of irritation over something that’s far from your fault. Training had not been going the way he wanted. Most recent injuries still healing, the stubborn, persistent ache of his body had steadily pushed him into a darker and darker mood.
And then you had come up to ask him a question – if he’d wanted something to drink, something to eat – and then the question that’d tipped him over the edge. “Shouldn’t you be resting instead of trying to train? I don’t think it’d be good for you to reopen something…”
And he’d snapped, eye blazing with fury as he jerked his arm out of your reach. 
You freeze, arm dropping back to your side. He expects you to lash out, fire back – you know how to hold your ground, and he’s been a front-row witness to how sharp of a tongue you have when you’re (rightfully) pissed. 
But you don’t. 
Instead, your expression goes blank and you turn, slipping back down from the observation deck. In the absence of words, the hard click of your descent offers a finality that makes a chill slide down his spine.
He knows he should apologize, but pride is a difficult thing to swallow – especially when he knows he’s at fault for this. So he stays put, shoving down guilt in favor of resuming his training and pointedly ignoring the protest of his bandaged wounds. 
By the time he comes down for dinner, Zoro is in a far better mood than he’d started with – he’s finally managed to get where he wants to with training, and his injuries have eased from persistent ache to a dull throb that he can tune out. 
Entering the dining room and spotting you in your usual seat with the standard empty one beside you for him, he moves to take his seat – only to watch as you get to your feet and leave the table entirely. 
“Where are you going? Are you feeling okay?” Nami’s the one to ask, just as confused by your abrupt behavior as Zoro is. 
“I’m fine,” you answer, turning to give the navigator a reassuring smile. “Just remembered I wanted to watch the sunset, that’s all.”
 Zoro watches you go, wondering if he’s forgotten some agreement the two of you’d made beforehand – and turns to find Nami staring at him. He frowns, already on the defensive. “What?”
“What did you do now?” Her tone is accusing, her eyes narrowing as Zoro’s temper flares once more.
“Why are you assuming I did something?” 
Nami folds her arms across her chest, raising an eyebrow. “Because you’re not the most perceptive person around when it comes to anything but fighting,” she points out and he bristles, even though he knows she’s right. “Think, Zoro. I’m sure you should apologize for something.”
“No, I–” He halts. He does have something to apologize for, doesn’t he – how he’d yelled at you, the look you’d given him before turning and leaving. It’s clear that you’re still upset about that, and while he doesn’t blame you, like hell he’s going to admit that he did do something to Nami or anyone else. “Whatever. I’m leaving too.”
He gets to his feet and moves in the direction you’d gone, ignoring the mutter of what sounds suspiciously like “idiot” from behind him in favor of searching for you. True to your word, you’re up towards the bow of the Sunny, arms folded on the railing as you stare out at the ocean. 
Apologize. It's easy, in theory ㅡ to say "I'm sorry" and wait for you to respond if you forgive him or not. And yet he can't quite shape the words, settling for the next best thing.
Pretending nothing happened.
"Dinner's gonna go cold," he says as he approaches, and he doesn't miss the way you stiffen at the sound of his voice, but otherwise ignore him. "Want me to bring it out to you?" You don’t answer, and he can’t help the flare of frustration. Are you really going to ignore him like this? “Not talking to me now?"
Your hands curl against the railing. You've been trying your best not to think about earlier, the unpleasant memories it'd unearthed ㅡ and the fact that Zoro wants you to pretend like nothing happened only furthers the sour taste in your mouth.
'He isn't like that,' you tell yourself firmly. He has a hair-trigger temper that sparks over some of the dumbest things from time to time (especially where Sanji is involved), but it fizzles out quickly. 
But you know the consequences of anger behind closed doors, away from prying eyes and ears ㅡ fingers brush your shoulder and adrenaline floods your veins, ripping you out of your unpleasant reverie as you jerk away, fixing Zoro with wide, frightened eyes. “Don’t touch me!”
Your voice isn’t loud enough to be heard by anyone else, but it still startles Zoro all the same – for the vehemence in your tone and the look that you’re giving him, like you’re afraid of him, that he’s going to – realization hits him harder than any enemy ever could.
Oh. Shit.
Of course you’d reacted the way you had earlier when he yelled at you, jerked so harshly away from you, arm raised as though he – he feels sick. How could he have forgotten? He knows he’d never do that to you, would never dream of it – but it hardly matters when he’d offered a blow of a different kind, just as devastating. 
Apologize. He isn't even sure if that’ll fix the damage done now, but he can’t stand the idea of you being afraid of him. Shrinking at his voice, flinching any time he moves near you – he takes a step towards where you’re crouched now, trying to calm the panicked rhythm of your breathing.
“I’m sorry,” he says, and though he wants to touch you, he resists. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you earlier. It wasn’t anything you did, I was in a bad mood and…that’s no excuse to raise my voice at you.”
You’re shaking. It’s minute, but he can still see the tremble of your limbs and it only drives the knife deeper, knowing he’s the one to blame for this – and then you’re lurching towards him, a choked yelp coming from him as he struggles to steady both of you. “Hey–”
“Idiot,” you whisper, hiding your face against his shoulder. “You’re an absolute moron, Roronoa Zoro.” 
“I know.” Tentatively, he brings a hand up, cups the back of your head. “But I’m your moron, right? Your favorite idiot?” 
Your hands fist into his shirt. “Unfortunately, yeah.” He hums, adjusting to hold you closer as your breathing slows into a steadier cadence. “Zoro. I don’t want you to think this means I’ve forgiven you.” You can feel him still against you, and you lift your face from his shoulder to look at him properly. “The next time you raise your voice at me like that–”
“There won’t be a next time,” he tells you firmly, conviction clear in his tone. “It won’t happen again.” 
“Promise?”
His hand drifts from your hair to cup your cheek, relieved that you lean into his touch now. “I promise.”
760 notes · View notes
borathae · 8 months
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"If there is one thing you love to do, it is to pamper your boyfriend. So when Yoongi has been feeling especially stressed lately, you decide that it is time to treat him like the precious prince he is."
Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Witch!Reader
Genre: established relationship!AU, polyamory!AU, domestic Fluff, Smut
Warnings: a stressed!Yoongi, she pampers him, casual nudity, this story consists of two parts: one fluffy and one smutty, the next warnings are for the smutty part, morning cuddles which lead to sex, sleepy & subby!Yoongi, service Dom!Reader, handjob in spooning position, little spoon!Yoongi heheh, neck kisses, gentle choking, praise, loving dirty talk, nipple play, blowjob, cum licking, overstimulation, a lil bit of gentle CBT, he is a painslut so he loves it, multiple orgasms for him, hand holding, he is sensitive & loves being touched <3
Wordcount: 10.4K
a/n: istfg i love men jfasjdfja okay that is a lie, i love men like mv!boongie <3 my precious prince <3 also lmao if someone tries to look up the definition of oral fixation, my name would show up ajdjfa like. can i write something other than oral sex? i don't fucking think so ahahah i'm telling you this stems from my childhood addiction of sucking my own thumb every chance i got until i was thirteen ahaha that shit shaped my frontal cortex or whatever part of the brain is in charge of kink development jsjdf
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You like trying out new things. Especially when those new things involve surprising your amazing, wonderful, lovely boyfriend Yoongi.
Today, you left a little something in his wing to find. A letter, telling him of how much you wanted to be with him tonight including a very detailed description of your plans and your location shall he want the same.
Yoongi should be out for most of the day, training with Jungkook and later meeting up with some of his creations in town to go over future plans of strengthening the vampire community. With Namjoon’s followers mostly gone and their Creator hidden from the world, the community has been brittle. Attacks on peaceful vampire communities by hostile werewolves or witches became way too common in cities where peace was already brittle to begin with. Yoongi and his followers are currently creating strategies which will ensure the peace without cities breaking into a full supernatural civil war. Which means that he is a very busy man lately, coming home later than usual and with little energy left to cook. He feels really bad about it, even if you keep ensuring him that it was never his responsibility to feed you and that you can cook for yourself while he relaxed.
It worked for a little while until he began stressing out over not being able to cook on top of all the other stress he is currently experiencing. Truly, if he didn’t posses supernatural healing you are sure that he would have already greyed by now from all the stressing he has been doing these past few weeks.
But you want to change that tonight. You want him to feel so relaxed that stress ceases to be part of his vocabulary. 
By now, it’s already way past eight. Yoongi should have been home for at least thirty minutes. You want to check on him, but are scared to ruin the letter surprise this way. So you take out your phone and text Jungkook instead.
He answers you ten minutes later.
-          Baby ♡: I don’t know if he’s home yet. I’ve been home since six ♡♡♡
-          Baby ♡: I’m sorry baby ♡♡♡
-          You: It’s fine. Don’t worry about it ♡♡♡
-          Baby ♡: Are you scared that something happened? ♡♡♡
-          You: No, but I have a surprise for him ♡♡♡
-          Baby ♡: ooooooh *o* a surprise *O*
-          You: yeah… :D I wrote him a letter telling him to come to my wing if he wanted to have a spa day ♡♡♡
-          Baby ♡: wowie *^* spa days are so nice ♡♡♡ I’m sure he’ll be home soon heh ♡♡♡
-          You: yeah probably ♡♡♡
-          Baby ♡: hehe ♡♡♡♡
You send him one more round of hearts and then place the phone aside, turning your attention back to the task at hand. The surprise has been prepared, which means that you have free time and what better way to use said free time than to do some gardening in the greenhouse.
Only easy tasks like pruning the roses and picking off dead leaves from your wisteria. You don’t want to get too dirty in case Yoongi comes home.
The man of the hour comes home only a few moments after you texted Jungkook. You are currently in the back of the greenhouse, looking at the perfectly pruned roses when he calls out for you.
“___?”
Your heart flutters. He is here. Hopefully he read the letter first before coming here. It would make the surprise all the more exciting.
“My love, are you here?”
“I’m coming!”
You meet him in the middle. Right where you shared so many breakfasts together. 
Like always lately, the heaviness of a long and stressful day drags down his shoulders. It is so obvious to you these days, now that you know him so well. 
“Hello there, my prince”, you greet him, opening your arms. 
“Hey”, he says, falling into the hug gladly. He even buries his face in the crook of your neck and releases a loud sigh. It was the kind of sigh which sheds the heart of sorrow.
“Did you have a good day?”
“No.”
“Gosh, I’m sorry. Lots of stress?”
“Yeah”, he murmurs into you, tickling your skin with the timbre of his voice, “did you eat already?”
“I did. Don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t cook. I promise I’ll make time on the weekend. I just have so much to do and I just”, he stops talking to sigh instead, pressing himself closer to you, “I’m tired”, he confesses in a whisper.
“Don’t worry about it, my love. I don’t want you to think that feeding me is your job. I can cook for myself, okay?”
“I guess.”
“Well, I can”, you assure him and squeeze him gently, “did you get my letter?" 
“Letter?”
“Yes, I left it on your bed.”
“No, I wasn’t in my wing yet. I came straight to you.”
“Oh okay. Mhm sad, I wanted to surprise you.”
“I can go right now. I’m sorry, I have so much to do. I didn’t have time yet and I-”
“Hush, it’s okay”, you stop him, massaging his scalp gently.
Yoongi lets out a sound of defeat and murmurs into your neck, “I’m gonna cry. I don’t know for how long I can still do this.”
“Oh Yoongi, I’m sorry you feel this way”, you say and give him a squeeze, “do you have to work again tomorrow?”
“No, they’ll be gone till next week. But I have to do so much work at home. There’s so much shit to go through and, and people to call and I don’t wanna.”
“Okay, I see. At least you can plan your time how you want to tomorrow. Yeah?” 
“I guess.”
He doesn’t sound convinced, which you can’t blame him for.
“I prepared a few things for you if you want to. I promise it will relax you.”
“What do you mean?” he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes, “why did you prepare something?”
“Because you’re stressed and I wanna spoil you.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? Because I want to and you deserve it.”
“Okay?”
“Mh-hm, now come along. I’ll give you the best spa night ever.” 
“Really?” he gets out, stumbling after you. 
“Yes, really.”
“But why me?”
“Because you’re my love.”
“Oh.”
You lead him to your bathroom. You talk as you walk. 
“It would make a lot more sense if you read my letter. I was being really cheesy in it and talked all about how I’ll make you feel like a king.”
“Oh. Okay”, he is shy. You know that he is.
“Yeah and then I told you to come find me in my wing. Which is why I asked you if you read my letter.”
“Sorry. I wanted to see you first."
“That’s okay. I should have figured. I’m just glad that you’re home safe”, you tell him and turn. You have reached your closed bathroom door, “close your eyes.”
“Okay?” Yoongi says and follows. 
“Don’t peek.”
“I won’t.”
You open the door and take both his hands afterwards. You guide him into the room. Yoongi sniffles instantly.
“It smells good.”
“Don’t look yet. Okay?”
“I’m not. I’m just saying.” 
You place him just a little away from the door so you could close it. Then you snap your fingers, lighting the dozens and dozens of candles in the room. Being a witch fucking rocks. You don’t even have to work for romantic lighting, you just have to snap your fingers. With a another snap of your fingers the record player starts playing Yoongi’s favourite album for relaxation. His lips curls into a smile. 
“I know that song”, he says with happiness in his voice.
“Yeah, definitely. Don’t peek.”
“For how long? What are you doing?”
“Soon.”
“You’re making it so suspenseful.”
One last snap of your fingers to turn off the main lights. 
“Okay. Open your eyes.”
Yoongi follows, looking around the warmly lit room. You filled the bathtub with water and rose petals, mixing in your most relaxing bathing oils. On the side table, a glass of his favourite whiskey cocktail is waiting and you prepared his most comfortable pyjamas to wear. You also created a big bouquet of flowers, which he knows for a fact you will want him to keep in his wing. You love getting him flowers and he loves receiving them even he gets incredibly shy because of it.
“Princess”, he gets out, looking at you with sparkly eyes. They look so close to tearing up.
“Surprise”, you say, stretching your arms above your head, “it was pretty obvious what I’ll do in the bathroom, but surprise.”
Yoongi looks away and at the room again, touching his own tummy as he does. His eyes sparkle in the candlelight.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes. Thank you so much”, he says and nods his head.
You close the distance and hug him. Yoongi hugs you back instantly, hiding his face in your neck like always. 
“I’m happy that you love it. I have a lot more prepared. So I hope that you’re ready.”
“I am”, he mumbles, “thank you so much.”
“Hm”, you hum and pat his butt, “you have to get naked for the bath.”
“I know. Can I do it alone?”
“Of course. I’ll be by the sink preparing the facial.”
“What did you prepare?”
“Just something nice. I looked up a tutorial. Trust me, I’m a professional skincarer now.” 
“Skincarer isn’t even an actual word”, Yoongi says in a laugh as he is slowly getting naked. 
“Doesn’t matter. I’ll give you the best facial ever.”
“You’re aware of how that sounds, right?”
“Oh, I know. If you had read my letter, you would know that I have prepared a spicy section too if you are still awake after my super duper king spa treatment special.”
Yoongi chuckles, “okay, I’ll try to stay awake.”
“No pressure though. Tonight’s about you. I can do it tomorrow too or whenever you’re in the mood.”
“Okay. Ah shit.”
You turn, “what happened?”
He is by the bath, buttnaked and with his toe wet.
“The water’s cold”, he says.
“I know. I didn’t know when you’d be back, so I filled it with cold water. Don’t worry, I’ll warm it up”, you say and hurry to him. You stick your right hand into the water and mumble the magical words. Your eyes glow golden for just a moment before your hand gets a fiery shine to it. The water warms up slowly and you only stop once it is giving of a gentle steam.
“Test it now”, you tell him.
Yoongi lifts his foot and lowers it into the water, “good”, he says and steps inside the bathtub. He lowers himself, pushing the water aside. It reaches him just a little over his nipples once he is submerged entirely.
“There we go. Are you comfy?” you ask him.
He is looking up at you with his knees pulled to his chest and his arms hugging them, “can I have it a little warmer, please?” he asks shyly.
“Of course”, you say, sticking your hand back into the water, “I’ll go slow, so tell me once it’s good for you.”
“Okay.”
Your eyes glow, your hand shines and soon the water begins warming up more and more. The relaxing oils activate with the magical heat, tainting the water milky and filling Yoongi’s nose with a wonderful smell. He feels droopy and oh so relaxed because of it. Yoongi lets you warm the water for a few moments, staring at your face with a fluttering tummy. He is so, so happy about the surprise and he loves it so much. Even if he is too tired to show his true excitement, he is bursting in it. Truly, he feels so lucky to be with you.
“Okay, stop”, he says.
“Got it.”
You stand up and dry your hand on the towel you laid out for Yoongi. Then you hurry to the back of him, placing your hands on his shoulders.
“Lean back.”
He does so without resistance, letting out a surprised gasp when his head sinks into a soft cushion. The water reaches him a little under his neck now.
“Huh?” he sneaks a glance at the pillow..
“Is it comfy?”
“Yeah, really. Where did you get that?”
“Internet. I purchased it a few weeks ago, but never got to using it. Do you like it?”
“Yeah”, he says and relaxes his entire body. He even stretches out his legs and closes his eyes, “thank you for this”, he whispers.
“Don’t thank me too soon. Are you ready for your super duper king special treatment facial?”
“Yeah.”
“Nice, just tell me if you need anything else. Your favourite cocktail’s on the table.”
“Yeah, thank you”, he says and reaches for it. He spills some water on the ground, but that doesn’t matter right now. He drinks his cocktail while you gather the skincare products. “it tastes good”, he tells you.
“Yeah? That’s good to hear.”
Yoongi places it aside and submerges his arm back in the warm water. Then he lets his head fall into the cushion, looking up at you that way. You place your hand on his forehead so you could brush his hair out of his face. You secure a headband around his head, making sure to reveal his entire forehead to you. His eyes fall closed instantly, his lips part as a relaxed sigh leaves him.
“I’ll get started now, yeah?”
“Just do whatever, as long as I don’t gotta talk.”
“Don’t worry, no more talking”, you assure him and smooch his forehead, “relax my love, I’m getting started.”
You start off the treatment by cleaning off the day with a gentle oil cleanser.
“Are you putting oil on my face?” he asks, trying to move away at the unfamiliar feeling, but you stop him with a firm hand on his forehead.
“Yes, it’s called double cleansing. Trust me.”
“Okay?”
“Trust me.”
“I am, just feels weird”, he mumbles as he relaxes again.
“It’ll help.”
Once you washed off the oil, you use a soft smelling foam cleanser. Yoongi sniffles vividly as you spread it on his face, voicing his liking for it with a low hum. You wipe the foam away with a warm towel, making sure to be extra careful around the eyes. 
Once he is clean and patted dry, you begin with the true treatment. You spread a soothing toner with a cotton pad on his face and follow it up with a serum. You know that physically it is impossible for his skin to show signs of exhaustion, age or stress. Hell, he can’t even get impurities because his healing powers prevent him from getting them. But you still believe that a good calming serum will do his skin good. Even if it’s just to help relax his mind. 
After the serum, a sheet mask follows. 
“Ah, hey”, he gasps and opens his eyes, “that’s wet”, he complains, trying to move away again.
“It’s a sheet mask. Close your eyes and stop moving.”
“Does all of that even do anything?”
“Yes, it’ll relax you and make your face glow. Close your eyes.”
Yoongi follows, even if hesitant at first, but begins to relax again when you run your fingers over his face in order to smooth out the mask. It tingles so nicely.
“Okay, that’ll have to stay on your face for twenty minutes. Do you want a head massage in the mean-”
“Yes”, Yoongi interrupts you.
You chuckle, “I take this as a clear yes”, you say and wash your fingers in the bath water. You dry them on the towel and then return to your spot behind him. 
You start off by opening the headband and keeping his hair off his forehead with a warm hand on his head. 
“I watched a lot of tutorials on head massages, so get ready for the best massage ever.” 
“Mhm.”
And so they begin. The most amazing and wonderful and perfect twenty minutes of Yoongi’s life. You weren’t lying when you told him that he will experience the best head massage ever, because he does. He really, really does. You not only pay attention to his entire scalp, you also make sure to massage his tense jaw muscles behind his ear and to loosen the knots in his tight neck muscles. By the time those twenty minutes are over, Yoongi hasn’t closed his mouth in ten minutes and he doesn’t even know that his mouth is open. He is entirely and completely relaxed.
You take off his mask without talking, placing it on the table for now. You waste no time, using the excess serum to massage his face as well. Starting off at his forehead and brows, you guide your skilled finger along his temples, massage his jaw muscles and tense tongue muscle along his throat and you make sure to target every single inch of his face. You even incorporate a gentle massage on the more tender spots, meant to soothe and not to relax tensions, and Yoongi is in heaven. He really is. This is more than heaven. This is his personal paradise, the reason why he exists. It feels so good. His body can’t stop tingling and he swears that he actually feels as if he is floating. He was so stressed, but he isn’t anymore. It soothes him so much to be so pampered. 
Once the serum has been massaged into his skin thoroughly, you begin putting on moisturiser, giving him a softer massage in order not to stress out his skin barrier. You go especially gently on his eyelids, kissing each of them after you finished spreading the cream. 
Once his face glows from being pampered, you spread a thin layer of scalp serum on your palms for one last round of a deep and relaxing scalp massage. 
By now, Yoongi is sleeping. There is no sugar coating the truth. Your once stressed boyfriend is slumbering peacefully with his lips apart and his face entirely slack in relaxation. He looks so adorable like this. 
You give his shoulders a thorough massage as well, ending it off by caressing his chest and then your massage is officially finished. Face glowing, scalp nourished and muscles relaxed he is sleeping in the bathtub while you gaze at him with fond eyes.
That’s what you wanted to happen. He finally looks relaxed.
You play with the thought of waking him for a moment. You really have to, don’t you?
You decide to clean up first. He should sleep as much as he can before you have to cruelly wake him again. You turn off the record player and even take a quick shower so you can change into your pyjamas. Afterwards you do your own skincare and brush your teeth. Yoongi is sleeping through all of it. 
Only then – and once you extinguished the candles – you return to him, cupping his cheeks to shake him awake.
“My love”, you whisper with a heavy heart, “my love, wake up.”
Yoongi begins responding after a few moments. First he huffs out air, then he whines and shakes his head until he finally opens his eyes.
He looks just slightly mad to be woken like this, but most of all, way too sleepy for his own good.
“I know. I’m sorry for waking you, but I need to get you outta the water and into your pjs”, you whisper. 
Yoongi makes a small sound and moves. It looks and feels robotic. You know that he is barely conscious and only really does what his muscles remember to do. 
He gets out of the bath with your help and plops down on the edge of the tub. You open the drain and just about manage to wrap the towel around him because then he is already falling against you, barely awake and so terribly sleepy. 
“-eepy”, he mumbles quietly, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder.
“Almost done, my love. We just gotta get you dry and into your pjs, yeah? Can you work with me? Please?”
Yoongi nods his head and somehow manages to get up and follow you to the pyjamas. He manages to put them on, even if his eyes were closed through the entirety of it. And then he stumbles into the bedroom with your hand tightly in his’ and his trust fully put into you. He doesn’t open his eyes even once, only when you tell him to get into bed.  
He sinks into the pillow, letting out a sleepy sound of relaxation.
You tug him in and get under your blanket. 
“Is nice”, he mumbles, reaching for you.
“Mhm, that’s good to hear”, you say before giving him a kiss on his temple. Afterwards, you roll over to turn off the bedside lamp. Now hued into darkness, you return to him and place your hand on his cheek to caress it softly, “sleep tight, my love”, you whisper and the last thing Yoongi does before he truly falls back to sleep is seek you out for nightly cuddles.
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And if one thought that this warm, little snippet of your wonderful life together was over, one was mistaken. As the next part of this warm, little snippet is entirely dedicated to how you woke up with Yoongi as your little spoon the next day and how you made good of the promise you gave him last night. Shall one wish to live in negligence, one can stop reading now. However, shall one find themselves with a certain desire for Yoongi’s blissful morning hours, one shall continue to indulge in this warm, little snippet a little longer. Whatever path one might choose, one shall always know that Yoongi is truly and soul-consumingly happy ever since he is yours and he will continue to be truly and soul-consumingly happy for as long as he is by your side. 
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Although you fell asleep later than Yoongi, you wake first. You don’t feel tired, as a matter of fact, you feel so well rested that you could definitely start off your day by running around. You know that it is because Yoongi radiated so much tranquillity throughout the night, which in return helped you rest as well. 
Smiling because you are so happy that last night’s plan worked, you pull him tighter against your chest and drape your leg over his hips. Now he can’t escape and you can get lost in the amazing feeling of holding him. He fits so perfectly into your arms and he is so warm and smells heavenly too. You nuzzle your nose deep into his hair and kiss the nape of his neck this way.
Yoongi cut his hair again. Not as short as he had it when you first met him, but it had grown to a length where he disliked it. So he cut it again and thinned it out at the back. Not that thinning out did a lot for him. He has the thickest hair even. Even all the thinning left behind enough to grab and hold and play with him. And also enough to get lost in. He seriously smells so, so good. 
You hug him tighter and inhale deeply, waking him with it. He makes himself known by letting out a deep and quiet hum. 
“Mhm, morning”, you answer him, rubbing his tummy. 
“Mhm”, Yoongi purrs. 
Nothing more is exchanged between the two of you. You continue to smell his soft hair and kiss whatever part of his head you can reach, while Yoongi travels between the world of the awake and the dreaming. He ends up staying in his dream world. You prop yourself up on your elbow and glance at his face. You have to remove your leg from his hip, but you don’t mind because you can feel his butt against your crotch this way. His head rests on your lower arm and his hand is mere inches away from holding your wrist. His fingers twitch as he very obviously dreams and it makes you wonder if he is currently dreaming about holding your hand. It would be so cute if he did. 
You move the arm you have draped around him so you could touch his hand. His fingers, knuckles and veins. He has the most beautiful hands. You caress his wrist for a little and then move to trace his face, using the back of your hand for it. His cheeks are so soft, his skin feels so healthy. You also think that it is glowing especially prettily this morning and you know for a fact that it is because of last night’s spa treatment.  
You were so happy last night because he took the surprise with so much enthusiasm. Truly, you have the best boyfriend ever. 
You lean down and kiss his cheek. 
“Mhm”, Yoongi wakes because of it, sounding a lot more energized than last time. Forty minutes had passed since then. Yoongi chases your kiss by moving his head so he could look at you, “morn’in.”
“Good morning”, you tell him and kiss his lips. 
He kisses you back, which means that he was actually awake this time around. He smiles sleepily as you break the kiss and rolls his head back into a more comfortable position. You rest back into the pillow, snuggling into him happily.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah, really well”, he says, “you?”
“I did, yeah. You felt so calm in my arms tonight, so I feel really refreshed.”
“I slept so well”, he says. His voice is deep and raspy from sleep. “I haven’t slept that well in ages. I kept dreaming about all the stuff I gotta do, but tonight I didn’t dream of anything.” 
“Yes? That’s so good to hear. You deserved it, my love.”
“Mhm”, he hums and wiggles his butt so he was closer to you, “thank you for last night.” 
You smile and kiss the nape of his neck. His hair feels so soft there. You love the feeling of it against your lips. Yes, you are obsessed enough with him to love having hair on your lips. Oh truly, this man consumes your every fiber. 
“I didn’t know I needed it, but I really did. Thank you.”
“I’m just happy that I could help you relax, my love.”
“You did. I was so relaxed and it felt so good. I never experienced something like this before and I loved it so much.”
“Last night was your first time?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh Yoongi, you shouldn’t have told me that. Now I gotta start planning monthly super duper special king treatment spa days to make up for all the lost times.”
He chuckles sleepily, “I won’t stop you.”
“Okay, good”, you say and snicker, “just you wait, I’ll be the best skincarer ever.”
“This is so stupid”, he says in a laugh. The kind of laugh which shakes his shoulders and sounds like little squeaks for air. You love this kind of laugh. 
It always makes you laugh and smile with him. You end up smooching his neck as well, doing so happily. 
“You gotta admit, it has a ring to it.”
“Yeah, I guess”, he says and ends his giggles with a content sigh. He reaches for your hand and grabs it tightly to guide it to his lips. They feel soft as he kisses your knuckles. Once. Twice. Three and four times. Then a stub with his button nose, “thank you so much for this”, he says. 
“Yoongi…”
“I know I didn’t show it last night, but I was really moved by it and I was happy. Yeah. I was really happy. I’m sorry for sucking so much at showing it.” 
“Don’t apologise, my love. I knew that you loved it.”
“Good, that’s good. My love”, he says and pulls your arm tighter around him. 
You nuzzle into him, tightening your arm around him. 
“You’re so warm”, he sighs dreamily.
“And you’re soft”, you tell him, slipping your hand to his tummy to rub it softly. He loves tummy rubs. Only a few seconds of them and he vibrates in soft purrs. 
Today is no different. Rhythmic and terribly sleepy, he fills the silence with his happy purrs. You love that this is just part of him. It’s so relaxing to hear him purr. 
Only a few minutes later and he takes your hand to stick it under his shirt. You glance at him, he meets your eyes shyly.
“I like that”, he whispers, “don’t judge me.”
“I’m not”, you assure him, nuzzling your cheek against him, “I like it too”, you tell him and begin to caress his tummy.
It’s so incredibly soft. Not only because his skin is silken and perfect, but also because he has just enough tummy that he is soft. He is just grab-able enough that you can squish him. You like that because of how perfect he is to pet that way. And Yoongi likes it because he has the most sensitive tummy and when you rub it, he feels at peace. 
This morning however, he also can’t deny the other effects your loving touch has on him. He was way too exhausted to think about sex last night, but he feels rested today. Which means that your touches leave behind just a small tingle of desire in his tummy. Paired with your neck kisses and the incredible softness of your body behind him and Yoongi can’t deny it anymore. This is making him needy. 
The concept of being needy was entirely foreign and rather undesirable for Yoongi before he met you, but with you he really enjoys that feeling. Except for the aching boners he gets as a side effect. He doesn’t like them. Not at all. 
He tries to ignore it at first. You aren’t making any moves and the current situation is so comfy that he doesn’t want to ruin it by asking for more. But then you begin slipping your fingers under the waistband of his pants every so often and Yoongi is spiralling. 
He is aware that you are only doing it because his lower tummy is the softest and you enjoy the feeling of his happy trail under your fingertips. But it’s getting so unbearable to stay calm. You are so close to where he aches and yet you feel too far away. 
You are in the midst of running your hand up his tummy when he snaps. He grabs it, making you gasp in surprise because of how passionately he made contact. 
You lift your head from his neck, studying his face. 
Yoongi acts fast. In one swift movement he has your hand tugged to his cock. He presses you close, making you feel every single inch of his hard length. 
“Please”, he gets out in a whisper, grinding his hips into your hand. 
“Oh my god, Yoongi. Did this make you hard?” you gasp.
He glances at you, meeting your amused yet very excited expression. 
He nods his head and squeezes his cock with your hand in between.
“Please.”
“What do you need?” you ask, knowing very well what he needs.
“Your hand.”
“You’re holding my hand.”
“No”, he is pouting. It makes you smile, because it’s adorable, “I want it there”, he says and rubs his cock against your palm, “like this”, he says breathily, “touching me”, he sighs even breathier and with his fingers squeezing your hand. 
Your stomach clenches in arousal. He is so sexy when he is like this. Especially when he explicitly asks to be touched.
“Mhm Yoongi, you’re so hot like this”, you purr and give his cock a gentle squeeze.
He lets out a quiet sigh, rolling his hips into your hand.
“Do you want it like this?”
“Wanna take off my pants.” 
“Okay, do it”, you say, giving him space.
He manages to take them off until they sit around one of his ankles and then he gives up. That’s good enough. He needs to be with you again, feel your warmth and experience your touch. You fucking made him obsessed with it and now he can’t get enough of it. 
He returns to the previous position, wiggling his butt against you and giving you a boyish look over his shoulder. It makes you giggle and hug him tight.
“Comfy?” you ask after smooching his cheek.
“Yeah, comfy”, he says and looks at your lips, “kiss me.” 
He barely manages to finish his request and then he is already gasping as you use a bundle of his hair to tilt his head into a kiss. It is rough and passionate. Yoongi didn’t expect it, which results in his head to get dizzy with the first contact. His tummy also did a really, really intense clench. It was the most amazing feeling ever, even if it resulted in his cock to grow even harder. 
You moan into the hot kiss, feeling entirely consumed by him. His exposed butt is pressing into your crotch, his naked legs rub against yours and his hard cock begs for attention. He is so close to you. So utterly and entirely engrossed in your presence and now you can feel him up with all the time in the world. Oh, you are so desperate for him.
It gets too much. You can’t control yourself anymore. Without warning, you take his cock between your fingers and pick up an almost punishing speed. 
Yoongi reacts accordingly. He breaks the kiss to squeak in surprise. His body flinches and his legs press together. 
“Wait”, he gets out, looking up at you with widened eyes and his lips parting in a gasp. 
“You’re so hard, holy fuck”, you whisper seductively as your hand pumps his heavy cock. Fast. Rough. With the intent to make him shake. 
“It’s t-too much”, he gets out and gasps, arching his back which results in your contact to break. 
Not with you. You pull him back against your chest, sliding your hand to his throat afterwards. Like this, his head is on your upper arm while his throat gains a new necklace in the shape of your hand. 
You press your lips to his ear, keeping your voice in this one specific register which will always make him weak. 
“Is this too much, mhm? Should I slow down?” you ask as your hand around his cock punishes him quickly. He needs no punishment and yet you can’t stop. He is so fucking perfect when he writhes in forced stimulation. 
“Slow, yeah, slow please”, Yoongi begs.
“Okay. I’ll slow down. Like this?” you ask and stop your movements so you could massage him instead. You keep your hand around his tip, massaging him in smooth pulses and gentle squeezes.
Yoongi presses back against you, tilting his head to reveal more of his neck. You squeeze down on his veins, watching hungrily as he rolls his eyes back in bliss. They flutter closed a second later.
“Yes”, he sighs, following it up with a quiet, “holy shit ___, that feels so good.” 
“Yeah, you just keep sighing my name. Your voice sounds so pretty when you do.”
“___”, Yoongi sighs, placing his hands on your lower arm to squeeze. His fingers are just a little clammy, his touch is filled with no strength. He wants to simply feel you, make sure that you are real and that he is actually experiencing the pleasure you make him feel.
“That’s it. Keep moaning my name”, you encourage him, moving his head with your hand on his throat. Like this, you can kiss his cheek. It makes you so happy because you can feel how Yoongi actively chases your kisses by tilting his head closer. 
“___, ah.”
“My handsome love”, you whisper, “my pretty prince.”
Yoongi likes the praise so much that he moans your name again. Quietly. Like a breathy whisper. He is so far gone in this warm bubble of pleasure, comfort and safety that he can’t do much more than whisper. This is the best morning ever. He is so safe, so warm and so well-touched. Yoongi presses himself closer against you and sighs your name.
You abandon his tip for just a moment because you want to feel him up entirely. You go slow, pressing his cock against his tummy to run your hand up and down the underside of it. His skin is so soft, while his cock is so hard. The contrast of it feeds your obsession for him inch by fucking inch. With every second you touch him, the feelings you have for him get easier to bear. Not much, but at least you don’t feel like suffocating anymore.
Yoongi runs his hands up and down your lower arm, following it with his head turning as he tries to kiss you. His lips are parted, giving you a little sigh.
“Feels good?” you whisper.
“Yeah, feels…good…ah kiss me, p-please.”
“My beautiful Yoongi”, you whisper and kiss him, swallowing the happy sound he makes. He doesn’t really know how to kiss you at first. As if he forgot everything he ever learned because you are touching him so good that his brain turned into mush. You know that this is what is happening right now. 
It’s not often that Yoongi asks to be touched. So whenever he does, it means that he wants to be turned into a dumb, pleasure-drunk mess. No wonder he kisses messily at first, you’ve got him ruined. You slide your hand from his throat to rub his chest instead. It rumbles in deep purrs of enjoyment and his lips soon after find your rhythm. Slow, loving tongue kisses. The kind which leaves both of you so, so lightheaded.
Somewhere in the maze of loving kisses, you allow your hand to change course. You wrap your fingers around his length again and pick up a steady pace, jerking him off with the help of all the excitement he leaks. Of course he’s wet. Yoongi’s so easy to pleasure once he trusts you. He gets wet so easily.
The kiss breaks because Yoongi needed to gasp. Your eyes flutter open, meeting his gaze. It is hazy, blurry and filled with devoted submission. He can’t stop staring, even when so close to your face. His eyes keep switching between your left eye down to your lips and up to your right eye before repeating the route again and again and again. He is so obviously in love, which makes you want to never look away.
You haven’t noticed it yet, but you are mimicking his feelings. Your eyes can’t stop racing between his eyes and his lips and if it was physically possible, Yoongi is sure that your pupils would have turned into little hearts by now.
“Closer please”, he whispers and you hug him against you, placing your hand on his waist to keep him close. Yoongi has to moan at the contact, fluttering his eyelids for just a second before he begins drawing little triangles on your face again.
You are enjoying this moment with intense pleasure bubbling in your tummy. Truly, you don’t even need to be touched to feel satisfied. This is making you feel so fulfilled. And it is filling you with this warm desire to make him feel in paradise. You pick up your pace, watching in delight how Yoongi reacts.
He closes his eyes and scrunches his nose up, letting a quiet, “fuck” slip from his lips.
“Yoongi”, you press out, hugging him tighter. You lower your lips to his face, spreading soft kisses on every inch you can reach.
“I can’t hold it for much longer”, he confesses, pressing back into you to get as close as possible. Truly one may think that it wouldn’t be possible to be closer, but somehow Yoongi manages to merge even deeper with you. Warm back against warm chest, his hands holding your arm while you hold him and with your legs tangled into a mess which makes sense to you and him. You are so close in fact that you can actually feel how his body prepares for his high. He is tensing his muscles more and more and gains so much more warmth to his body.
“Did, did you hear me?” he tries with his voice just slightly higher than usual. Not much, but it is clear that he is struggling. He is breathing so heavily and his butt keeps rubbing against you as he squirms.
“I heard you”, you assure him, kissing his cheek, “does it feel good for you or should I change something?”
“More on the tip, please.”
“Okay. Like this?” you say, massaging his velvety cockhead.
“Yeah….” he gets out and rolls his head away to bury it in the pillow, “ah”, his voice is muffled by it, “ah god, ah.”
It goes on for about five strokes and then Yoongi gasps and turns his head again, looking up at you with so obviously faded eyes. He is so far gone.
“Soon.”
“I know, you’re doing so well”, you praise him, caressing the side of his ribs slowly.
“Tell me that you….ahmhm”, he gulps and tries to continue talking, doing so with his eyes glued to your lips, “that you love, ah, love me.”
Your heart flutters.
“I love you, Min Yoongi.”
“I love you too”, he chokes out and scrunches his face up as his high hits him. This is all it took. To watch your lips form his favourite words paired with your closeness and skilled touch, is all it took. He reaches up and pulls you close with his trembling hands gripping whatever part of your head they could reach. Your nose collides with his cheek and soon you feel his lips attempting to kiss, but failing miserably. You’ve got him climaxing so hard that it is impossible for him to do much more than keen quietly and fight for air.
“Good boy, you’re doing so well”, you talk him through it with loving whispers and little pecks on his pouty lips. And Yoongi swears his entire world lights up because of it.
He comes down way too soon for your taste, now merely shivering in your arms while his cock softens in your hand rapidly fast.
“Princess”, he gets out, hooking his arms behind your head to pull you into a kiss. It is sloppy and filled with gratitude. You love it so much, but you want so much more. You break the kiss, making him beg for more. You have to ignore him, even if you want to keep kissing him. He isn’t done yet. One wasn’t enough.
You roll him to his back and claim the emptiness between his legs. They are still wobbly from the intense orgasm you gave him, making it easy for you to pick them up and slide off his pants completely. You throw them to the side and lean down, picking up his softened cock to put him into your mouth.
Yoongi’s hips shoot up, his legs close around you and a surprised mewl rolls off his lips.
“What are you doing?” he keens, placing his hands on your head to tug you away.
You hum around him, licking and sucking off the sweet tasting cum coating his cock. The vibrations feel intense around his length, forcing his hips to lift again.
Oh how heavily he is breathing, how much he squirms.
“Please”, he gets out and mewls, “please, sensitive, please”, he pleads, trying to tug you off of him, which only ends in you taking his hands and pinning them into the sheets besides his hips. You put your weight on them, making it impossible for him to flee (one has to remember that he could easily lift a truck if he wanted to, he could very well flee but he doesn’t want to).
“Please, sensitive. Hurts, please”, he begs, coughing out a squeaky moan as his soft, little dick gets sucked clean by your hungry mouth. He is still so delirious from his first high and being brought over the edge in such an intimate, safe way and now he has you forcing his cock to remember what pleasure feels like. Yoongi was so ready to fall into the afterglow, but you are keeping him burning. It feels hot, fiery and torturous.
“Sensitive”, he gets out, wiggling his hands even if you pin them down with your fingers squeezing around his wrists, “holy shit, why do you wanna torture me?” he keens, kicking the sheets with weak legs.
You are high. You seriously are. This is the best feeling ever and he tastes so good that you wish to taste nothing but him from now on. His soft cock feels so good in your mouth. So fragile and sensitive and made to be ruined by you. He fits so perfectly in your mouth like this. So well in fact that he can fill you out comfortably while your tongue explores the softness of his balls.
“Oh god, please”, he is begging, squirming away and fighting your grip as best as his shaky arms allow him to. And despite all of that, he is starting to grow hard again. Rapidly if one may add. So quickly in fact, that after a few hungry flicks of your tongue against his balls, he is filling out your mouth so well that you can’t reach them anymore. You cup them in your right hand instead, using your left hand to caress his tensing tummy. It is so sticky and wet from his first orgasm. His hands reach for your head instantly, making you chuckle because it was so predictable.
“Nuh-uh”, you hum around his cock, pinning his hands into the sheets. He grabs your hands, squeezes them as tightly as possible and then lets out a high-pitched mewl.
“Please, this is too much”, he gets out, arching his back, “fuck, please.”
You moan around him, grinding your tongue against his cock as you bob your head up and down. He is almost completely hard again. Of course he is, because he loves it. You know your boyfriend. He might whine, but he loves being overstimulated.
You must admit that you never did it with your mouth before, at least not like this, but there is always a first for everything. After all, you love trying out new things with him.
Now swollen and hard in your mouth, it is difficult to fit him down your throat entirely. Especially in this position. You concentrate your attention on his first two inches. They are the most sensitive after all and you love having them in your mouth.
“A-ah”, Yoongi lets out, dropping your hands to instead twist the sheets. His hips are lifting off the mattress again, but this time around it wasn’t from overstimulation but pleasure. You got him hooked again. Even if his legs close around you and you have to push them apart.
“Mhm”, you hum and giggle, looking up at him with sparkly eyes and his cockhead on your tongue.
He is looking at you with his lids heavy and his cheeks flushed. His hair is a total mess, sticking to parts of his face.
“You’re hard again”, you say and lick him hungrily.
“It’s, it’s ‘cause you f-forced me to, to get hard”, he is stuttering, barely getting the words out.  
“I’m sorry, kitten. You’re so yummy that I can’t help myself”, you rasp and take him back inside, granting him one more second of eye contact before the position naturally breaks it. You close your eyes, sucking his tip and swirling your tongue as you move your head up and down slowly. He should really bask in those sensations.
“Fuck”, he gets out and moans shakily, dropping his head back in the pillow, “what did I do to deserve this?” he whispers and makes yet another sound of pleasure, sounding so good doing it that you have to look at him for a moment. You jerk off his cock as you do, pressing the thumb of your right hand down between his balls to give him just a small hint of pleasurable pain.
“Ngng”, Yoongi lets out, arching his back, “ah, a-ah, hah. Ah.”
“You deserve this because you’re my beloved, pretty kitten”, you tell him, increasing the pressure.
“Ah. Ah, ah hah, ah, a-ah”, Yoongi can’t stop making noises. What a total difference from the once reserved and quiet reactions he gave you during the handjob. You are soaking up those reactions like a woman starved.
“And because you’re my pretty kitten, you deserve to cum over and over again. Are we clear?”
“Thank you”, he mewls, because he doesn’t know what else to say. He feels so good. All he wants to do is thank you for making him feel that way.
Your heart flutters. He is adorable. And he looks so wet. His pink, velvety cockhead is covered in it. You have to taste him again.
You lower yourself back to his cock with the intention of not lifting yourself again until you have him creaming your mouth.
“Thank you…ah”, Yoongi moans, dropping his back in the sheets as his hands naturally reach for you again. Both of them. It’s so cute that he gets so touchy when he is being sucked off. He holds your head gently, but never once uses the grip to guide you. No, he merely wants to hold you because sometimes he doesn’t believe that the pleasure you make him feel is real and he has to make sure that it is.
Your mouth is so warm and soft, your tongue is even softer and so, so wet and your fingers know exactly where to squeeze and touch. You have also grown so confident in your skills.
Bear in mind, Yoongi always thought that your head game was amazing, but he can really tell that you are confident in it these days. Back when you started out, you only really dared to go further than his first two inches when you were drunk, but these days it seems to happen naturally. One minute, he has your tender lips kissing and sucking his cockhead and the next he is hitting the back of your throat while a deep moan vibrates in your chest. You don’t need to be drunk anymore to deepthroat him, it happens naturally.
And Yoongi hasn’t decided yet if he hates it because of how utterly ruined it leaves him or if he loves it because of how entirely blissed out it makes him feel. Maybe a little bit of both.
“Oh god, princess”, he moans, closing his legs again as hot pleasure shoots through them.
You chuckle around him before slipping off. You push his legs apart again, looking up at him with sparkling eyes.
“Stop closing your legs”, you tell him, following it up with your lips nibbling at his tip slowly. Every now and then you dart out your tongue, giving him a glimpse of warm, wet heaven.
“Sensitive, I can’t help it”, he says, eliciting a happy giggle from you.
“You always are”, you are teasing, “what’s with you?”
“It’s ‘cause you feel good”, he says and thrusts his hips, “more please.”
“Mhm ‘kay, but only if you don’t close your legs again”, you say, taking him back inside.
Yoongi rests his head back in the pillow, throwing his arm over his eyes as a breathy laugh slips past his lips.
“You feel so good”, he gets out and moans with a smile on his face, “fuck.”
He drops his legs on the mattress and wiggles his toes, meeting your warmth with a soft roll of his hips.
“Yeah, that definitely tops everything”, he whispers, placing his right hand on the back of your head to caress it.
You love how warm his touch feels and how gentle his thumb runs over your head. It makes you want to perform even better for him, go deeper and make him feel a thousand times more ruined. You slide your hand to his balls and begin massaging them as your mouth slowly but surely sinks down on his length.
“Yes, god”, he gets out, rubbing his legs against your body, “fuck baby, I’m sensitive.”
“Mhm”, you purr around him, which doesn’t help him at all. He just ends up twitching in your mouth while his legs rub against you in a desperate squirm.
“You don’t give a shit, do you?”
You shake your head, wiggling his cock down your throat that way. You hum when he is oh so deep inside you, sending a jolt through his legs. His fingers twitch on your head, trying their hardest not to push you down further.
“Fuck, you’re torturing me”, he gets out and laughs, arching his back.
You love when he is like this. When he feels so good and safe with you that he laughs during sex. To think about how he started off and how it’s going these days. You love this development, having to moan around him as your left hand slides under his shirt. You walk your fingers up his tummy and ribs, stretching them out on his pecs so you can rub his nipple.
His laughter stops, a loud gasp for air replaces them. He chases your touch, sliding his arm from his eyes to instead hold your hand through his shirt. He squeezes it gently, rubbing his legs against you needily.
“Fuck.”
There was no ounce of amusement or laughter in this word. Just desperate pleasure and the disbelief that something so amazing is actually happening to him.
“Yeah, god…that’s….fuck, princess.”
Maybe you like this kind of voice just a little more. Don’t misunderstand, you love when he laughs during sex. But when your touch hits just right that he feels so good that he can’t even find it in himself to laugh anymore to instead moan, definitely feels extra special. He spills his pleasure on your tongue with a throb of his cock. His taste is amazing.
You glide off of him until you can suck on his tip. Your lips fit so nicely around it. Like his cock was made to be sucked by you. He rewards your eagerness with new droplets of his sweetness. Truly, he tastes so good. You hum around him, sucking harder.
“___”, he moans, following it up with a roll of his hips, “___ baby…love, this is…fuck.”
You love that he just can’t stay still. He is an expert in lounging. Sometimes when you and he cuddle, you have to check on him because of how still he can get. And now he just can’t stop squirming and touching and rubbing himself against you. It’s so incredibly adorable to witness. 
You slurp up the saliva which has began running down his length and swallow it hungrily. There is just a little bit of his taste in it. Not enough for your liking and so you take his cock between your fingers and apply pressure on his swollen vein. You know just how to squeeze and rub that he leaks onto your tongue. 
Sweet like honey. There must be something magical in his taste because you get so needy for it that it gets hard to breathe. 
You slip your lips off of him, staring at his tip. It is deep red in colour, courtesy of you sucking his soul out of his cock. Your fingers glide to it and begin squeezing just right to milk him of his translucent goodness. 
“Fuck, jesus, you gotta- hrng”, he gets out and lets out a deep growl, throwing his head back as best as the position allows him to, “honey, fuck.” 
“You’re so wet for me”, you taunt and squeeze more out of him. You love how his cock looks when he leaks for you. So pretty and wet. How wonderful. 
And while he growls and gasps, you let out a chuckle. It is heavy in crazed pleasure. 
“You’re such a wet kitten”, you rasp and finally connect your tongue with his cock. You grind the flat of it over his slickened tip, ending it with a throaty moan and a flick of your tongue. You flutter your eyes at him, even if he isn’t looking, “you’re my fucking addiction”, you lull and sink him into your mouth as far as you can take him. 
Only once he is deep as you can go, you begin moving. Fast and harsh. You drool all over him, spill tears instantly and find it just a little harder to breathe but it’s so fucking worth it. 
Yoongi moans and he moans loudly. So fucking loudly. His hips roll off the mattress, his hands reach for his own thighs and squeeze hard to prevent them from falling closed. 
“Holy shit, holy fuck. Princess love. Fuck. Ah! Aha baby ah.”
Your left hand is working hard on keeping his nipples as sensitive as possible while your right hand holds his throbbing cock in place. If you wouldn’t, it would just be way too hard to keep the rhythm going.
“You have to stop or, or else I’ll- ah”, Yoongi throws his head back, arching off the mattress, “I’ll cum down your throat, please stop.” 
He is so polite. Even now when you are so clearly derailed in pleasure, he is trying to warn you. He is such a gentleman. Oh how you need this man to literally pump your stomach full of cum. Yeah, you are really derailed. 
You pinch his right nipple, keeping it between your fingers to massage it harshly. The pleasure swirls down his body and goes straight to his cock. 
“Please I have to cum, I don’t- ah”, Yoongi shudders and arches his back, “can I cum in your mouth?”
The switch up is so fucking hot. To have him go from begging you for a break to begging you for the chance to climax down your throat, it’s so hot.
You hum around him, nodding your head. 
“Really? Please. Ah- fuck, ___ please.”
You moan and go deeper, nodding your head with more vigour. 
“Thank you”, Yoongi croaks and drops into the sheets. A second later, you feel his seed shoot down your throat and his cock throb in your mouth, “holy fuck yes.”
You wanted to swallow everything, but didn’t take into account just how hard your boyfriend cums. It ends up spilling out of your mouth and you working quickly to try and slurp all of it up. You love every second of it, feasting on his taste with a pounding head. 
Yoongi pulls you off of his cock once overstimulation sets on.
“No more. Serious”, he chokes out, following it up with a breathless, “you’re fucking insane. What the fuck.”
You are so dizzy, nuzzling your nose into his soft inner thigh. 
“Fuck Yoongi, you taste amazing”, you lull in a raspy voice. Your throat hurts just a little from getting it creamed so good.
“I’m dizzy”, he confesses, rolling his head to the side, “princess…”
You kiss your way up his body, staying at his neck to cover it in gentle love bites. His taste still lingers on your tongue, making you dizzy. Yoongi purrs and rolls his head to the side, nudging your temple with his nose. A kiss follows.
“This was amazing”, he lulls, smiling against your skin, “you’re the best, my love.”
“Yeah?” you giggle, lying down beside him with your leg draped over his waist and his arm under you. He closes it around you, running his hand up and down your back. You can look at each other so well like this.
“Mhm, yeah”, he says, staring at your lips. He reaches up and swipes his thumb over your lower lip, “you got a little something there”, he says.
“Oh? Oops. Thank you”, you say.
“Mhm”, he hums and guides his thumb to his mouth to lick it clean.
“Hot”, you mumble.
Yoongi lifts his brows at you playfully and slips his thumb free with a bop of his lips.
“It’s the least I can do”, he says, giving you a lopsided smirk. He is so good at doing them.
You nudge his chest, letting out a very ungraceful snort. Yoongi thinks it’s the most beautiful sound you ever made, soaking it up happily.
“You’re dumb.”
“Why?” he asks in a chuckle.
“Because you’re being flirty, you know exactly what this does to me.”
“What? You gonna suck my cock again?” he jokes, making you snort again.
“God”, you fluster, dropping your head in the crook of his neck. You rub yourself against him like a cuddly cat, “Yoongi”, you giggle.
He chuckles deeply, sliding his hand to your lower back so he can press you closer to him. You feel so warm between your legs. He loves the feeling of it against his naked thigh.
“You know what we should do today?” he asks.
“Wait. I wanna guess.”
“Do it.”
“You’re gonna say cook together, eventhough I literally told your stubborn butt last night that you don’t gotta cook for me all the time.”
He laughs. Wholeheartedly and loudly. You join him, lifting your head so you can look at his happy expression. He laughs with his mouth open and his eyes squeezed shut. You love this kind of laugh on him.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” you stress, nudging his moving chest. It rumbles in his laughter.
“Yeah”, he says, nodding his head, “fuck”, he ends his laughter with a deep chuckle and a shake of his head, “why do you know me so well?”
“Because being loved means being known and I love you, which means I know you”, you say, grinning when he rolls his eyes at you.
“You’re so cheesy”, he says.
“And you love it, so stop rolling those eyes at me.”
He smiles, “sorry, you’re right”, he says and runs the back of his hand down your cheek, “my love”, he whispers and smiles, cupping your cheek.
You smile, leaning into his palm, “you’re my love too.”
He studies your face with lovedrunk eyes. A soft smile curls his lips. 
“Do you want me to return the favour?” he asks. 
“Mhm later, as a little break between work, yeah? I’m so hungry you have no idea.”
“I just fed you.”
You laugh. He laughs too. 
“I hate you for making me laugh.” 
“You loved it.”
“Yeah sadly”, you say and study his face. Especially his pretty lips, “okay actually. Can you give me one orgasm?”
He smirks. Fuck, he is so hot doing that. His eyes lower playfully.
“Of course I can, princess. Let me take care of you”, he says, picking you up to fix your positions.
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