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ladyyatexel · 3 years

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I Went On A Manga Binge

So you don't have to

For those of you who have wisely avoided the shreds of it I've left around the blog thus-far, I had some weird notion to go re-experience Yu-Gi-Oh uuuuuh a week ago? We'll go with that. Time is meaningless.

I'd been able to read a good portion of the early manga at the end of highschool, and somewhere in my stacks and stacks of paper is fanart from this dark time, so you know I cared. I also still own a Dark Magician action figure somehow, so. I'd also watched a large portion of the anime with my brother because it had been laced with some kind of crack and we couldn't look away? I remember when we both were just like shit, wait, don't change the channel, I can't stop looking at it. And the next thing we knew we were waiting for new episodes and I was doing research on the Japanese original because I was that kid.

Anyway, unnecessary backstory out of the way, here are some... let's call them Observations and Consequences of having read somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 chapters (and growing) of a manga primarily hinged on card games from a spectrum of sources ranging from boringly lawful to sketchy as fuck.

Surprise actual character that develops in typical shounen fashion being Jounouchi. My limited experiences with the 4Kids dub and only early manga had not painted him in a particularly good light. I don't know if episodes were being aired out of order or if I had just missed the ones that established that he was making shit up as he was going along, but Wow I liked him a lot more going through the manga than I ever did watching the (dubbed, heavily edited and censored and thrown into a slurry machine) anime. I'd managed to come out with the impression that he was just as reasonably experienced with the game as Yugi back in the day. Wild.

I'm now reading every single comic-style post on Tumblr backwards.

Striking inverse to first point, wow, I don't like Seto Kaiba. Though he gets points for his general philosophy of the future, and the line I read in my sketchy online combo of scans and scanlations in which he said, "If God is in your way, you run him down," was Metal As Fuck. I somewhat shame-facedly admit to enjoying him a lot more as an Abridged Series character. (I watched Abridged as it came out back in the day! The experience of watching the anime with my brother had been so fresh that I got all the in jokes about the way things were edited and dubbed, it was great. Series remains influential part of my life to this day, which is hella weird.)

I almost understand how Duel Monsters works now. I don't want this.

That said, wow a lot of the decisions made in the anime made everything a lot more ridiculous than the admittedly already ridiculous original. I got the distinct feeling in the manga that the Duelist Kingdom stuff we were seeing was designed to be used and exploited in ways that don't make sense in an actual cardgame just played on a table like a normal person and this was part of testing everyone to think higher, differently. Maybe this is obvious to everyone already, I don't know. I had always liked that it was very, 'Not so fast, I'm going to blow up the moon to change the tides,' but I'm not really sure the anime gave enough explanation that this was an extra layer added to things for that event? You can see people actively getting used to it in the books, and people who aren't considering the real or 3D nature of it getting owned, but my memory of anime version is everyone just like, 'oh, shucks, fuck me, I forgot to consider the phase of the moon before i played this card, can't believe I forgot.' No one calls Yugi on any of this stuff because it's valid play in that situation. Plus Yami Yugi had mad trickster energy in the beginning and it suited him to think of ways to do things inside these little simulation boxes the way it suited him to set perverts on fire. I imagine the real card game trying to emulate this element as something that would be to its detriment, but I neither know nor particular care haha

Ryou Bakura.

Really, though. I think he became kind of casualty of 'wow, we have a lot of characters who really aren't able to do anything in this story anymore,' despite the fact that his whole inner life could have been as interesting as Yugi's. I always like thinking about the possibilities of stories in which main character falls into magical world and is given magical item and told they're the hero and then they find out they've been the bad guy the whole time. The first several volumes of manga were about the quiet weirdo kid that no one talked to who was always blacking out and turning into a fucked up version of himsef because he was so attached to his ancient Egyptian jewelry, so like, Bakura could have much the same shit going on. I want to know what's happening with him so much. He clearly doesn't love being possessed, but he's also so drawn to the ring. Despite it having stabbed him at least twice and him knowing it's a danger to him and his friends, he keeps being pulled back into it. You see so much more of him being like, 'Oooh, a creepy thing, I love that! :D' in the manga than ever in the anime, which I'm all about. Also more blood. I'm very about that as well. Though my memory of the anime also made it look very much like normal regular daily Bakura was just a weird facade in places before he ever would have been. I think that was it trying to compensate for what people didn't see from the Toei anime, but okay whatever, that I love everything about this guy is not news, I don't need to talk about Bakura excessively here, I'm pretty sure that's gonna show up on my blog by itself

On a related note though, damn, more of these people need to talk to each other. Can we have some existential crisis support clubs or something. Can we get like some apologies or something? "I respect you as a duelist." "Cool, but you literally built a tower designed to specifically assassinate me and my friends? You were supposed to get Better after I retaliated by putting you in a coma, but you kinda didn't." "Why would the coma have made it better" "I just told you it didn't" ---- "Sorry I went along with the plan of your evil parasite stabbing you, misled you, and then also jumped in and took up some real estate in your head too." "I understand, I also have an evil thing inside me that does things while I'm blacked out." "...no, I was conscious for all of that." "Oh." "..." "..." "..." "Do you like Ouija Boards?" "sure okay" ETC. Like damn we are reading shounen manga because no one is talking extensively about their feelings here and I'm tapping my foot angrily.

Holy shit there are so many mythologies happening at once. The ancient family guarding the Egyptian Pharaoh has a surname that's a Mesopotamian goddess. None of the god cards make any Egyptian sense except Ra, and just like. Baaarrrrely. Somewhere either Evil Ring Bakura or Mar/lik makes a reference to cremation and spirits being taken to heaven with smoke which several things, but definitely not Ancient Egyptian. Marik/Malik meanwhile is clearly trying to head Arabic, along with Rishid, but then, hey, our sister is just Isis. Goddess McGoddess. Sometimes they're the same goddess! Her name could be Isis Isis or Ishtar Ishtar. Meanwhile, all the obviously 'occult because Christians think it is freaky' stuff. ~ancient egyptian pentagrams~~~This isn't a complaint, I guess so much as a 'Wow, I can kind of see the cultural spot the author was coming from and where he was aiming' kind of thing.

Wonder where things would have gone if the card games had not been latched onto the way they were.

Managed to forget how gross the pre-cardgames stuff was on the sexual harassment front. I'm glad there was a sort of explanation of everyone drifting away from being dick heads and that that decision was made. It got way more comfortable to read after no one was bringing Yugi p*rn on VHS.

Yugi looks better with a nose, glad we got that upgrade.

Interesting to watch the series style shift as it goes away from being horror to being over the top cardgames and friendship (with blood!). The first picture of Mokuba is fucking Jarring. Also noticed that the nicer a character is, the less their teeth are defined.

Glad manga did not go as completely off the fucking the rails about Marik's face. I never got as far as seeing him back in the day because college occurred, but I remember seeing pictures and stuff and being like, "what in the Fuck happened to that dude, I think the house style has collapsed in on itself"

Things the author Really Likes: motorcycles, belts, SHOES, holy shit the shoes. These are some of the most lovingly rendered sneakers I've ever seen. All the detail on his characters goes straight to their feet and then it's stretched upward until it forms stiff peaks. Gently fold in 3000 years of trauma and bake face down in a crumb coat of scattered mythology. Remove when you roll two zeros.

Where the fuck am I going to put the extremely large omnibus volumes of this comic I purchased in order to balance out how much I would be reading for free on the internet. I should have grasped that a three in one edition would be Thick and yet somehow I was still :O when it arrived. Have I strategically purchased volumes that contain my favorite parts, maybe, what's it to you will i eventually get the whole thing because incomplete book series gnaw on my soul? yes

Wish the transition from "I've murdered several people in delightfully karmic ways" to "all you need is friendship in your heart and cards in your hand" Yami Yugi/Pharaoh had been discussed more/transitioned better. Buddy, where did you get this approved for television high horse? Please go back to strangling people with yo-yos or at least tell me why you stopped.

I still can't tell anything that looks like a big robotic monster apart from any other big robotic monster. My dude, I can't tell cars apart, all these monsters look the same.

Yami Yugi fascinated me way more in highschool? Maybe because it was still super early and the anime was like 'we need to torture you about his origins WeEkLy. Now I'm just like 'wait hold on, can we go back to Bakura and Marik for a minute, there's some extreme unpacking to do here?' Those two are paying so much more in baggage fees here my guy wow

Violently uninterested in any of the spinoff media

#yugioh #yu gi oh #ygo #there you go i can't imagine any other way you would decide was necessary to tag this #perhaps now that i have thrown this up i can #something #i don't know how i was going to finish that sentence #shut up lady

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howlingday · 4 years

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About Jaune ships...

I have opinions. You may not agree, but they are mine. They may change in time, but not now.

LANCASTER ( RUBY X JAUNE )

The old tried and true. I mean, what's not to like? Cute girl falls for first guy she meets at Beacon? Classic romance trope, and after reading how much Ruby loves romance stories (I consider certain parts in the manga canon), it makes sense. In fact, after Arkos sank (A moment of silence, please . . . Thank you), many moved to Lancaster, which isn't bad. Happens all the time in fandoms. Sad thing, though, is far I think she'll last. If we're talking Volume 5 or earlier, then maybe. However, I feel if Ruby were to have an endgame in romance, it would be RoseGarden (I have opinions on that as well, but today isn't the day to discuss that), mostly because Oscar bumped Jaune's role from male lead to male side. Not to mention that while Jaune is becoming a beast in his own right, Ruby is a different creature altogether and evolving her character more rapidly and chaotically than anyone else (Must be all that screentime).

TLDR: I want it to be canon, but I might just be hoping.

WHITE KNIGHT ( WEISS X JAUNE)

Doofus in tin foil meets princess who hates daddy (Am I in the romance section of the library? You know, the corner for adults only?) No, but I do like this ship. I'm always a sucker for the fantasy genre, and using a zero to hero male makes it relatable. I also kind of ship it because the same reason I ship NaruSaku in the Naruto fandom: he likes her and he's willing to go the distance. But enough about that; instead let's talk about canon. Will they hook up? It's a soft maybe for me, for two reasons. 1. Rosegarden is most likely to be endgame, and after Ruby and Pyrrha, I'd say Weiss is Jaune's next to be his love interest. 2. Weiss has warmed up to Jaune. Sure, not lover or crush level (Yet), but she's definitely changed her opinion on him. In Volume 1, Jaune was bugging her, like all the time, which I could see as him getting mixed signals on (Exhibit A: Tall, blonde, and scraggly). When Volume 5 came around, everyone jumped onboard because he saved her life (Don't lie, because I'll admit that I did it, too). Not the best reason, but still reason enough, I'd say. Then in Volume 7, she hangs out with him and Oscar to the movies (It was either that or awkward Bumbleby all night. I feel ya, sister). Nothing romantic happens, but it does show how much their relationship has developed. If Weiss is Jaune's endgame, then they have set the pieces up perfectly to do so.

TLDR: High likelihood to be canon and I'm a sucker for Knight/Princess ships.

KNIGHTSHADE ( BLAKE X JAUNE)

This is the part where I say definitely not. Not in a million years, but I'll explain why I like the ship, though. As for why it won't work, the answer is Bumbleby. They haven't kissed yet, but you know they're going to eventually (Because if they don't, the fans will attack like a swarm of hornets). But here's the question you might be asking now: why do I ship this? Well, it's part of the allure of "opposites attract" ('Cause I'm dressed like a cat!). Blake is an intelligent, outspoken, and agile ninja with a criminal history of terrorism who spends her free time reading novels. Jaune is a B at best on his tests, soft-hearted, and ground-based knight who's worst crime is fraud (Still a crime, but peanuts compared to literal terrorism) and spends his free time hanging out with his team. Day and night. But they also tried that with Sun for a season and a half and it didn't last (BECAUSE BEES).

TLDR: Not even a snowball's chance in the summer sun, but so much story potential if you do (Which I do)!

DRAGONSLAYER ( YANG X JAUNE )

This, I would say, is the opposite of Knightshade, where Jaune is the day and Blake is night, here Yang is the Sun and Jaune is the Moon (Like their crests! Remember those? Y'know, when they were relevant?) Will it work? Even less so than Knightshade. However, it does open up some interesting paths considering how... provocative Yang can be, and Jaune, compared to the other guys, is the nerdiest, geekiest dude at Beacon. It's like the cheerleader/nerd romance, except the cheerleader is the captain of every sports team... and rides a motorcycle. The Volume 8 preview introduced us to Yang and Jaune riding motorcycles and we went nuts over it. Yang was back in her element, roaring down the street, riding on walls, popping off tricks with Oscar riding- Back to what I was saying, people were asking, "How did he know how to ride a motorcycle?" and the elementary answer is "He didn't." He almost fell off his bike from a small box in the road. True, anyone would, but look at how he reacts: he stiffens, he refocuses on the road. This kid literally started riding at breakfast, and I DARE you to prove me wrong. But hey, great fic material right there, though, eh?

TLDR: Never gonna happen, but I don't care. All I care about is writing that they love each other. And they also fu-!

ARKOS ( PYRRHA X JAUNE )

I'm sorry, I need a moment. . . . Alright. Do it for her. This ship... was perfect. Probably the best ship out them all. I legit almost cry every time I think about Volume 3. Pyrrha was everyone's favorite. Her background, her interactions, her choreography, everything! But, of course, like everything in our lives, she was too good to be true. But let's honor her memory by talking about her ship, Arkos. Pyrrha was the champion of the world, the Brothers' and Oums' gift to Remnant. She could do no wrong and she HATED it. Her plight was with how she was seen. Everybody knew her! Everybody, except Jaune. And he only figured out she was "a big deal" was because Weiss had to spell it out for him! As time went on, they became the best of friends, two peas in a pod, the perfect odd couple! They worked together and trusted each other, they cared for and supported each other, they lo- No. No, I can't say it. It's been years, and it still hurts. So, I'll explain something else: the reason why Jaune SHOULD NOT be shipped right now. That reason is Pyrrha. Jaune was helpless to save her. He's suffering from survivor's guilt and he's still grieving. In Volume 4, he would sneak away and train until late at night to scroll recording of her. In Volume 5, he confronted Cinder and got Weiss almost killed because he let his grief for Pyrrha take control of him and let his emotions run wild. In Volume 6, he finds the Pyrrha statue and he... I don't know how to say this, but he let's go. He accepts that Pyrrha is gone and he's starting the healing process. He's finally ready to move forward.

TLDR: T.T I never felt that it was wise to wish too much~

MARTIAL ARCS ( REN X JAUNE)

I'll be honest, I don't really ship it. Yeah, it's cute, and it falls perfectly into the "if I had to pick a guy" part of me, but to be honest, I don't ship it. 10% because Renora and 90% it just doesn't click with me. They both just seem too soft, too quiet, too introverted. Best friends? Yes, definitely! But lovers? Eeeeeh, not really.

TLDR: I will only ship as neccessary.

NORA'S ARC ( NORA X JAUNE )

I've only just got in this deep with the fandom only recently, so I don't know if a lot of you know me. Heck, I'm probably just some RWBY fan you happen to spot as you move through your dash. However, old or new, I want to be made absolutely positively clear on this. Of all the ships here, this has got to be my-

O T FUDGIN' P

Wow! Never thought I'd feel so strongly about a crack ship like this. And yes, as sad it is to say, this is a crack ship. Renora was planned from day one, so it can't be helped. At least it didn't blast me in the face all of the sudden (OH NO, NOT THE BEES! AAAAARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!). But why this ship? Well, for one thing, it's that whole opposites attract thing with Nora as the bubbly, outspoken, airhead powerhouse and Jaune as the soft spoken, introverted, nerd tactician. But wait, there's more to this trope, because it can go deeper: Order VS Chaos! Who makes all the messes? Who cleans up those messes? Who follows all the rules? Who makes their own doors? It's just. So. Damn! GOOD! One sad thing about this ship though is that it's not only not canon because of Renora, it's anti-canon because Renora. Every fan fic of Nora's Arc requires an explanation for Ren and Nora to not be together-together, like you have to write a formal apology to the FNDM for liking something that's different from what is canon or commonly accepted. If that's the case, then I'll be the anarchist here!

TLDR: I LOVE IT! What's that? Not canon? Who gives a damn?! I just explained why Jaune won't be shipped anyways! Now, if you'll excuse, I have some fan fics to find.

ARCFALL ( CINDER X JAUNE )

Oh, here it goes! Now, if we're talking ships that'll never happen, this is where we find better reasons than "it's not canon" and "character development". No, this... This is a declaration of war. Allow me to explain. Cinder Fall is evil. Like, down to her core. She wants power and she'll cut through anyone to get to it. Including Pyrrha. This woman sank Arkos by means other than "X and Y kissed, so..." She killed X, leaving Y alone. And her interactions with Jaune tell me she wouldn't even be worth a hate-bang. But, as Momma always, there's a thin line between love and hate. This is where the appeal comes in. Cinder is evil with no past, which leaves the previous chapter's of her life story blank to be filled in. Jaune is good with a troublesome, albeit easy past, but untapped potential for more. It's another opposites attract, but different from INTRO VS EXTRO and CHAOS VS ORDER; this is GOOD VS EVIL. Who will win this battle of wills; will our hero purify the tainted heart, or will he slip deeper into darkness, never to return to the light?

TLDR: Should be a NOTP, and yet the allure pulls me in.

What do y'all think? Do you agree? Let me know!

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 4 years

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To distract myself from this awful political scene I'm forced to watch for history class: can you give us some obscure side characters (like, Dr. Diminutive, Newton the Gnu, type characters) you absolutely love for no reason? :) <3

Okay I am literally so late because I was doing my chem reading and my writing hw BUT I can’t refuse a chance to scream about my favorite characters (but y’all can refuse to listen to my scream about them so here’s a cut)

First of all, I want you to know that I haven’t even started listing characters yet and this ask has already lead me to spend almost $4 on Agent P’s Guide to Fighting Evil and that’s why I don’t look at the PnF wiki when I’m tired thank you for coming to my TED talk

I almost feel like I’m cheating by starting with Dr. Diminuitve but HOW CAN I NOT LIKE TELL ME THAT LIL MAN IS NOT THE BEST CHARACTER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN OKAY FUCKIN DO IT JUST KIDDING YOU CAN’T I mean come on, one of his first lines was literally “I don’t have a Napoleon complex; Napoleon had a ME complex!” I had to check the wiki to see if that was his first line ever and I’m very disappointed that it wasn’t and then in OWCA’s Going Down when all the evil scientists were just vibin against the fence and they started doing that West Side Story snappy walk and Diminutive was so into the snaps that he just didn’t fucking move and then he opened his eyes and the rest of the gang was halfway off the screen fjdskhfkalsfhaskl I just really love him okay the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he’s actually my favorite character

Idk if this counts as an obscure side character but he is incredibly underrated so I gotta throw in: LAWRENCE FUCKING FLETCHER. He’s just such a pure and innocent lil dude. He sees the boys doing dangerous shit and he’s just like, “Well that’s happening,” or better yet, “Hey, that looks fun!” I mean, the airplace? The flying carpet? The monster trucks? He genuinely gives zero fucks and I love him for it. I wholeheartedly believe that Lawrence knows Perry is a secret agent -- or at least that he’s smarter than he acts -- but he’s literally so indifferent to everything going on around him that he never mentions it because life is full of fun and exciting things like that and he can’t talk about them all, you know? And he gets so excited about his antiques and he’s so passionate about history and ughhhh I love him

I was about to say I feel like I’m cheating by using a special but it just occurred to me that that’s lowkey how I’ve prefaced all of these so no, fuck that, I’m using a special and that’s just how it’s gonna be. CARL FROM THE LAND OF INTERNUS WOULD HAVE MADE A MUCH BETTER ENDING THAN THE ACTUAL BOOK HAD AND FUCK YOU MONOGRAM FOR CUTTING CARL OFF BEFORE HE COULD TELL IT HOW HE WANTED TO

These two kinda go hand-in-hand but Bunka Da Bunkaquan and Sweary the Swan are my favorite alternative Perrys. As far as the specials go, Steampunx isn’t one of my favorites, but Sweary the Swan is just... How do you even describe Sweary the Swan? He is life. He is the reason I wake up in the morning. He is the only thing worth living for. And then Bunka Da Bunkaquan is just so fuckin cute and anyone who disagrees needs their eyes checked. And tbh while we’re talking about Tri-Stone area, I gotta throw in a mention of Doofengung no of course I didn’t have to google what his name was what are you talking about because I love how he just stares at the water and every time it drips he just fuckin cackles lmaooo

Okay one more special (maybe) but Doofenshmirtz in The Temple of Juatchadoon brooo I just googled it to make sure I spelled that right and I did woah my power is unmatched is lowkey my favorite Doofenshmirtz. I don’t know if it’s because I actually like him more than every other Doof or if it’s just because his first scene was with Phineas Ohio Flynn and they knew each other and they had actual interactions throughout the episode and the Doof/Phineas relationship is my favorite underexplored relationship, but Juatchadoon Doof makes the list anyway

The “what did you think, _________ was just going to fall out of the sky?” couple — who 100% deserved that cameo in catu

I’m almost afraid to say this in public, but I actually really like Roger. I was mostly indifferent to him at first, but then Delivery for Destiny happened and I was like wait a minute, why am I sleeping on his man who literally orders boxes just to give to his cat? And once I realized that he was kinda cool, it started sinking in that he was never actually a bad guy. Heinz never even really claimed he was -- if anything, his problem is that Roger isn’t a bad guy, and everyone in Gimmelshtump and Danville knows it. And I gotta give Roger credit for not being too harsh on his brother, because yeah, he can be a little stuck up (I’m looking at you, stupid golf game), but you can’t really blame him for thinking he’s better than Heinz, you know? But at least he’s not a dick about it like their parents are. Also the entire latter half of this paragraph was me trying to find a way to work in the other part of that scene with the cat box and it didn’t work so I’m just gonna tack it on to the end because this isn’t an essay for English class and I can do that lmao. Paul mentions that he just delivered something to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and Roger is like 😬 because let’s be real, no one wants to be represented by the type of dude to try to juice City Hall, but he’s obviously not going to say that because he’s still a respectful dude, so he’s just like “Charming... man... isn’t he...” and he’s literally so uncomfortable and it cracks me up every time but also it’s lowkey kinda wholesome because Heinz may make it his life mission to embarrass his brother but Roger doesn’t reciprocate. but I accidentally discovered a few weeks ago that John O’Hurley is a raging Trump supporter so I gotta dock points for that one

In the same vein, Paul the delivery guy. What more do I have to say?

If my love of Roger didn’t turn the world against me, this one probably will, but I’m going to say it loud and proud anyway. I LOVE PETER THE PANDA. He’s just??? so??? cute??? Like when he was tearing apart Doof’s inator and he was just... actually no scratch that I need pictures for this because I can’t explain this in words

THIS IS NOT EITHER OF THE PICTURES I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY OH MY GOD

Peter really said “this bitch empty, YEET!”

okay but the ones I was actually looking for are...

I mean, how can you not find him adorable? And don’t even get me started on his relationship with Perry because Meapless in Seattle was just... B R O Perry flew halfway across the country (probably I mean idk where exactly Danville is but they use EST so Seattle is probably halfway across the country?) just to go grab a coffee with him. They went on a lil date at a fancy restaurant I know Dan said it wasn’t a date but he's been wrong in the tiktok comments before which means none of his opinions are canon lmao. They’re just? So? Cute? I don’t even know what to make of their relationship but I live for it.

And I can’t mention Peter without bringing up his nemesis, who, to be entirely honest, I also don’t know what to make of and he’s mostly on this list because I like the line “How did you get chorus girls in here?” and when I downloaded and cut a bunch of songs that you can download from Google Drive here if you want, I specifically kept that part in because I love it lmao (I do gotta point out tho because it’s been bugging me since I last watched the episode: I don’t think we have any proof that Professor Mystery even exists in the PnF dimension. I had just assumed he did for the longest time, but that entire episode takes place in a dimension where Lawrence is a polar bear. Who knows what other differences there are?)

I love all the grandparents and I don’t even have an explanation they’re just all adorable

Okay I know I said no more specials but TECHNICALLY at2d isn’t a special; it’s a movie. I am physically incapable of not brining up the muffin time Normbot and the “I use aggression to mask my insecurites” Normbot.

While we’re talking about Norm, his old head would 100% swear all the fucking time if it wasn’t a kids’ show and i gotta respect it

Dan Povenmire does one line for a dude named Vinnie in Mission Marvel and off the top of my head I don’t remember who he is but it was the beginning of the episode and I think (?) it was during the New York scene and he does it in the Vinnie Dakota voice long before Dakota was even a concept (I’m assuming) so he gets a mention

Jerry the Platypus gives me Paper Jam Dipper vibes and they are both valid as fuck (the fucked up Doof copy is not valid as fuck tho we’re gonna pretend he didn’t exist)

Don is literally the best part of Where’s Pinky and I’m not just saying that because I’ve been watching Whose Line for years and I was super excited to see Wayne Brady in the credits (and the fact that he was also in both the quarantine rap and catu makes me incredibly happy)

Ooh I almost forgot OWCA Files existed but Harry the Hyena playing the trumpet and the subsequent “you’re gonna be wearing that in a minute” is the best part of OWCA Files and tbh just Doof, Perry, and Harry could have carried an entire series by themselves (though I do also love Karen and Maggie)

WAIT A SECOND THE BUG TRIO FJDSAHFLKSAJD I was trying to pick a favorite last time I watched OWCA Files and every time one of them spoke they were my new favorite like I lowkey thought their plotline was boring but the characters themselves were hilarious

WAIT ANOTHER SECOND HOW DID I GET THIS FAR INTO THE LIST WITHOUT MENTIONING MONTY HOLY SHIT I’M SUCH A FAKE FAN BUT I LOVE MONTY OKAY HE IS LITERALLY JUST OZ FROM BTVS EXCEPT MONTY AND VANESSA HAVE BETTER CHEMISTRY THAN OZ AND WILLOW AND NO I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING CRITICISM

Wait I forgot Vlorkel too omfg these two belong way higher on the list but Vlorkel is the love of my life (and I lowkey wish she had met Steve the giant chameleon because they would have become best friends)

I wanna keep going but it’s currently 1:45 in the morning (this is why I’ve been avoiding asks during the day: I get way too into them and spend a solid hour and a half on them and I’d never get any schoolwork done lmao) and it’s far from the first time I’ve stayed up this late but I figured it was fine because I have no classes tomorrow but it occurred to me like four seconds ago that I DO HAVE A CLASS TOMORROW SHIIIIT I had an anatomy exam on Tuesday during my usual class time (which if you read my tags you might have known about because I was having an existential crisis over it) so he moved our class tomorrow excePT IT’S NOT TOMORROW IT’S TODAY IT’S LITERALLY IN LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS FUCKING HELL I GOTTA GO TO BED ASAP

#shoutout to Sam for sending me this ask so i stayed up this long raving about my babies #because i would 100% have gone to bed without setting an alarm if i wasn't still awake #why did i buy a calendar if i dont use it lmao rip #pnf #look i have an ask

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kanene-yaaay · 4 years

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I’m not ticklish!!

Kanene’s note: Yeah, yeah, I have like: two braincells to made titles and they are on vacations at this exact moment, sO-

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Logan and Ler!Virgil (It can be seen as Romantic or Platonic Analogical).

* Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site! Like, for real. It’s stunning! ‘u’).

* Something around 1500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* I just realized I haven’t written any Analogical tickles with Lee!Logan, and???? S h a m e o n m e . So I finally decided to change it. It’s a very silly plot, but I kind of had fun writing, soooo... Someday will make a teasy tickle fanfic, I promisse xDDD.

* E a versão em português ainda está em reforma! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Play games, don’t cheat, run under some rain and don’t forget to drink water! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

Thomas has a crush.

- You aren’t tickling… however I can’t help myself but smile every time I’m near to you. – Logan stared at the computer, lightly biting his lower lip, habit that showed up only when he was nervous. – Do you think this is adequate?

Virgil only dignited his being to roll his eyes, something that, even if the logic side wasn’t with his eyes captured by the severe amount of sites explaining about feelings, reading profusely every bit of information he could pursuit, the said wouldn’t be able to see since the purple lover decided to lay upside down in the bed, half of him almost falling from the furniture, being almost the fifth or sixth strange position he tried in order to best erase the pain in his back and attempt to change something due the enormous hours both spent in that same conversation.

- Uhh. This is ridiculous. Are you really trying to find a flirt to every subject that could be brought up in a normal conversation? Tickles? You are taking this too far, and that is something coming from me. Go to sleep, Logan.

- Absolutely not. Any and every point can be crucial in a competition.

Okay, let us recapitulate: Thomas has a crush and of course, the sides would take advantages of this. No long time ago, it has been proclaimed in all the Mind Palace the start of the ‘Love Games~’ what is, primarily, a series of challenges where who blushed first lost the match and a specifically amount of points (depending of the difficult of the challenge), however, it was possible to recapture or accumulate more points doing random flustering action through the day, as gifts, flirts, carts… anything that leaded the features of the victim be set in flames. Patton and Roman ganged up to explain how much this activity could be essential in order to help to build self-love and the others sides simply couldn’t find something to deny it.

(Actually, Virgil could think in a great bunch of reasons why all of this could being a very bad idea, but now, think about it and convince them to stop when this competition would mean Free Crofters to Logan, Free Praises to Roman and just Patton showing them all the love he could give was a totally different story. Without telling that he would do anything to see Janus becoming a flushed mess and part of himself was kind of curious to see if someone would succeed in making the Gremlin Boy blush.)

And, being really sincere, the one wearing hoodie was impressed with how much all the Light Sides matched with the Others in being competitive, until this day Roman already had made five serenates, Patton obtained a good amount of points only with his gifts and zero notion of personal space, Janus got almost everyone with his ‘Appear from absolutely nowhere, grabs your chin, stares intensely, grins, kisses your forehead and go away’ and Virgil kept himself well with his victories in the commons challenges. The embodiment of Flight or Fight instinct have no idea about what Remus was preparing, but as it seems Logan was trying to get in the ranking beginning and winning Flirt Wars.

- Albeit, I believe you are correct. I’m not even ticklish for this saying.

Virgil almost fell of the other’s bed with the astonished laughter that escaped from his lips.

- I choose to ignore your mocking, thank you. – Pointed Logan, his voice in slightly traces of irritation.

- Mocking? – The one wearing hoodie gave a half spin, sitting normally in a blink of eye. – I’m just laughing about something that clearly is a lie.

- I think this is an information that doesn’t belong to you.

Virgil scoffed, rising one eyebrow as he rested his chin in his hand.

- I am not ticklish!! – Logan repeated, feeling a bit childish with the tune chosen to defend himself, or perhaps it was the turn this conversation was taking.

An evilly grin, a bit alike the Cheshire Cat, darkly gleamed in the other’s feature.

- So you would mind a little… experiment, am I right?

The logical aspect gulped, adjusting his tie and deviating their glare for a piece of moment.

- A-absolutely no.

Fingers quickly found way to his neck, scratching so lightly that barely touched his skin, going up, circling that exact spot behind his ears and appreciating the surprised squeal that floated from Logan’s mouth before focusing some special wriggles in that place. However, don’t taking too much before going down fluttering towards under his chin and in the base of his neck the best he could with the other shrugging and ducking his head in a hope to stop his big wobbly smile to be seen. Movement which also prevented the ‘not ticklish’ one to notice one of Virgil’s hands to travel to his back, being quick in landing spidery tickles in his lower back, sometimes slipping to give his ribs some pokes and prodding, something that finally bring up the babbled giggles to the daylight.

- -Nahahahahahahahaha!! Viihihihihihihihirgihihihihil!! – And he squirmed, the sensation being as unbearable to ignore as too much good to escape. It was almost… relaxing. In a very electric way.

- Tsc. – The anxious aspect let go a chuckle, still not believing in how the scene unfold before his eyes, albeit absolutely hypnotized with how the high squeaks and snorts intertwined the low giggles from the usually so contained side. Virgil’s thumbs applied a light pressure in the other’s spine, the attacker smugly watching how this leaded to a gasp as Logan jumped and arched his back, quickly starting to knead and buzz his fingers in each one of the ‘victim’ vertebras, following all the way up, totally unbothered by the, now very much increased, squirming. – And who would say that the embodiment of rationality just need some few tickles to become a helpless, giggly puddle, huh?

- Shuhuhuhuhuhut uhuhuhACK!!! – The purple lover found a particularly sensitive space between his shoulder blades, being responded by Logan’s loud, and endearing childish, laughter as its owner struggled more to be free from the malefic, tickly fingers, obligating Virgil to wrap an arm around his waist and without mercy squeeze his hips in random, quick patterns. – NonononHOHOHOHOHO! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHE-

- But what is the matter, Logan? – His voice was a whisper, although not only because it sent shivers down his victim’s spine, but also because he wasn’t really certain that the one with glasses could really hear him in any other way with how much he trashed and crackled, as it seems these two spots being one of his most sensitive ones. – Didn’t you just said you aren’t ticklish? – He gave him a break, going to his ribs in spidering, soft tickles, being sure to surprise Logan now and then with sudden pokes between them. Logan used the opportunity to breathe more evenly, even with the giggly fit and flames that took over his body. – But…no! Maybe you were lying? Perhaps this… - The grin in his lips was almost perceptible in his low tune, the words slowly rolling over his tongue as he digged into his armpits and got a surprised yelp as answer, the giggles getting louder and switched to laughter as its owner shook his head, denying. – can tickle tickle tickle tickle you silly?

The ‘I’m always serious, necktie!’ clapped his arms at his sides and hided his red face and wide smile in his hands. Virgil felt the grin painted in his face only get bigger. Now he was just making this too much easy.

The one wearing hoodie took a deep breath and released a raspberry right on his poor, forgotten and defenseless neck, the vibrations hitting every single one of his ticklish nerves and leading to a serious shriek to run from Logan’s mouth.

- VIRGIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIL!!! NAHAhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahaHA!! – Logan squirmed until finally escaped and fell in the bed: butterflies flying in his belly, smile from an ear to another, remain giggles, watery, shiny eyes and… a blush that painted his entire face.

- Thank you for the new score, mister ‘I’m not ticklish’~ - Virgil teased as laid comfortably whilst the mattress, crossing his arms and using them as a pillow while closed his eyes and ignored Logan’s annoyed grumble.

… And also the way his eyes instantly gleamed when they focused in his unprotected stomach and sides, an evil smile creeping its way to his lips.

#Lee!Logan #Ler!Virgil #Come on Logan you should know where this would bring you #Ticklish!Logan #Tickle Fanfic #Sanders Sides Tickling #Janus Mention #Remus Mention #Patton Mention #Roman Mention #They are silly boys #Fluff #Oneshot #KaneneFic #KaneneArt #English

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openyourmindtocloseit · 4 years

Text

The Illusion of Need In My Life

What do you need? Do you desire to live a life oozing with passion, pleasure, and beauty? Would a bottle of Bordeaux enhance your sense of personal grandeur, with its elegant label harkening back to the 1920ies era of dancing, literary giants smoking in cafes, and midnight strolls down narrow European city streets with dewy, stone paved roads glistening in the moonlight? It would sit there on the table with some fresh fruits, a few stinky cheeses that cost a pretty penny, and some toasted nuts and chocolates to complete this romantic sight. It does create an ambiance. Real wood, candles, french music wisping through the house, the smell of bread being baked. We are human, and being such our senses tell us something about what is good and what’s bad. Those rotten eggs, yeah, they smell bad, you shouldn’t eat them. That lavender, it is lowering your stress and evoking feelings of peace and tranquility with each sniff, you should continue to wear that lotion and to smooth the wrinkles in your hand and allow the tension you have had in your face to relax, it was barely perceptible before that moment. How long had your brow been furrowed? I digress. We use our senses to tell us the difference between good and bad, sick and healthy, dangerous and safe. These are good things and it is wise for us to discern these things and not blindly walk, this expression in itself is based on a revoking of our senses, but what I am saying is we don’t walk blindly into situations that would endanger us. We use sense and sense comes from that wise use of senses. At this point I may have lost you, and I do apologize for belaboring these words and describing to you something so commonplace, does it really need to be discussed? Well I would argue that many things I perceive and see to be obvious points of fact in life and in the human experience, have in my lifetime become things many people around me seem to question, or are urged to question. Is it all an illusion? Are we really just mindless chemical factories that operate on some sort of cosmic battery pack and everything I hope, sense, will, and pray for is not only pointless, but it was pointless to believe it wasn’t pointless. Depressed yet? Yeah, me too. Let’s leave that behind and get to the meat here.

What I have learned about my senses is that they are powerful and at times I find it hard to overcome them for the good of myself and those I love. It is evident to me, that I am constantly being marketed too, and yet, at times I forget that it is marketing and that it is not necessary for a full life to own more beautiful things, taste more delicious wines and foods, and have more cozy days in sweaters. I do love those things and do not intend to leave them out of my life, however, to acknowledge to oneself that the feeling of need is not the actuality of need is important. Today I was looking at these beautiful bottles of wine and I had some other work to do, but I thought, I really have to figure out how to get this for an affordable price because life is less rich without pleasures like this, and I love the taste of good wine and pair it with a good meal, well I am a darn connoisseur, and I can encourage others to live richly without the money or luxury, but simply with a bottle of wine… which both cost money and is a luxury. You may say, yeah I think this is just your disordered mind, but I know more than I have this experience when we see something that seems like it could really elevate our lives and believe that it is of utmost importance to find another area to pinch in order to bring that luxury into our lives. For now, I am thankful I saw my insanity before I purchased a box of wine way over what my budget would allow, which is approximately zero dollars spent on wine. It is so unromantic. I like to be the Parisienne in my mind, and believe that I would rather have wine than rice, and that my legs will carry me anywhere I absolutely need to go if my car breaks down. The truth is, however, I do not live in Paris. The city I live in is stretched across miles and miles, and many areas are dilapidated and industrial spaces that do not always keep the most savory characters on it’s corners and streets. I would be putting myself in more potentially dangerous situations due to traffic, pollution, people, and general exhaustion if I walked each place I needed to be. I would be wiser to save my wine dollars to get my car tuned up or save for an upgrade in cars entirely. I humbly divulge this information to tell you that this has to be conscious for me, it is not obvious. I am unreasonable, I am sensuous, and senseless… Which seem like contradictions, but we don’t rely solely on our senses and their pleasures, we rely on our consciousness, and that consciousness can also be disordered which would be mental illness, but more on that another time.

Really, what would be most beneficial is not to buy more things, although many things help us to lead more productive, well ordered, loving, lives and I am not against all purchases by any means, even purchases of wine, I do hope someday to budget a few delectable wines into my life, but many purchases are wildly unnecessary and are at their root a sort of covetous discontentment. It is your fault, because it is your heart that reacts to these advertisements and we know from Jerimiah 17:9 that:

The heart is deceitful above all things,

and desperately sick;

Who can understand it?

… and yet, we can help ourselves a bit. What does that look like for me? Oh, well, simple thankfulness, knowing what’s in my home already, and also unsubscribing from things that market to me endlessly. I often get off social media and have recently realized that being free from that constant stream of marketing is also helpful. I would encourage most people to say goodbye to social media for good, but I understand the right attraction to it. The benefits rarely outweigh its detriment to my life. However, I plan to write on that another time. For now, I leave you with a bit of wisdom from Saint Augustine, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” and this great piece of poetry from Job:

Job Continues: Where Is Wisdom?

28 “Surely there is a mine for silver,

and a place for gold that they refine.

2 Iron is taken out of the earth,

and copper is smelted from the ore.

3 Man puts an end to darkness

and searches out to the farthest limit

the ore in gloom and deep darkness.

4 He opens shafts in a valley away from where anyone lives;

they are forgotten by travelers;

they hang in the air, far away from mankind; they swing to and fro.

5 As for the earth, bout of it comes bread,

but underneath it is turned up as by fire.

6 It's stones are the place of sapphires,1

and it has dust of gold.

7 “That path no bird of prey knows,

and the falcon’s eye has not seen it.

8 dThe proud beasts have not trodden it;

the lion has not passed over it.

9 “Man puts his hand to the flinty rock

and overturns mountains by the roots.

10 He cuts out channels in the rocks,

and his eye sees every precious thing.

11 He dams up the streams so that they do not trickle,

and the thing that is hidden he brings out to light.

12 g“But where shall wisdom be found?

And where is the place of understanding?

13 Man does not know its worth,

and it is not found in the land of the living.

14 iThe deep says, ‘It is not in me,’

and the sea says, ‘It is not with me.’

15 Itl Cannot be bought for gold,

and silver cannot be weighed as its price.

16 It cannot be valued in the gold of Ophir,

in precious onyx or sapphire.

17 Gold and glass cannot equal it,

nor can it be exchanged for jewels of fine gold.

18 No mention shall be made of coral or of crystal;

The price of wisdom is above pearls.

19 qThe topaz of Ethiopia cannot equal it,

nor can it be valued in pure gold.

20 “From where, then, does wisdom come?

And where is the place of understanding?

21 It is hidden from the eyes of all living

and concealed from the birds of the air.

22 Abaddon and Death say,

‘We have heard a rumor of it with our ears.’

23 t“God understands the way to it,

and he knows its place.

24 For her looks to the ends of the earth

and sees everything under the heavens.

25 When he gave to the wind its weight

and apportioned the waters by measure,

26 when he made a decree for the rain

and wa way for the lightning of the thunder,

27 then he saw it and declared it;

he established it, and searched it out.

28 And he said to man,

‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,

and to turn away from evil is understanding.’”

#marketing #Life #Cozy #einkorn #sustainable #faith #saint augustine #intentional living #faithful living #social media #anxiety #stress #hope #Jerimiah #Wine #Pleasures #Simple pleasures #prayer #Job

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kateanddevinreview · 6 years

Text

London Has Fallen

In which Kate and Devin write a porno

Devin: Okay, so this movie is just Gerard Butler being a badass right? Is this the one with Denzel Washington? Or are neither of those things right.

Kate: It’s something like that.

Devin: Well, Butler showed up in the credits, but so did morgan freeman?

Kate: It’s a trifecta!!

Devin: Or maybe I'm just racist and mixed them up.

Kate: Or maybe it’s the two of them being badass together.

Devin: I made some comment the other day about minorities being underrepresented at the oscars or something and they asked what actors I think should win instead and I blanked on literally every minority actor I knew.

Kate: Hahahah. It’s still true though. And to be fair, could you name any white actors?

Devin: My brain got stuck on Tom Hardy and forgot literally every other actor on earth

Kate:I think he’s on tv now anyway. So far this movie is starting a bit slow. Do you think someone is going to be shot soon?

Devin: I find it weird that we are in....India?

Kate: I think we’re at an Indian wedding. Terrorist’s daughter is getting married

Devin: This is set up for motive?

Kate: Probs

Devin: The Phantom of the Opera and Harvey Dent go for a jog

Kate: Why are politicians always running? I don’t think they do that much

Devin: I think cause DC? it's an easy excuse to pan around the lawn

Kate: Ok well fine, coming at me with movie reasons. Wait, is this a sequel?

Devin: Is it? Was the last one just called "London"?

Kate: I was thinking Gerald saved a president in the last one?

Devin: She has crazy eyes

Kate: She does but she’s pregnant

Devin: I'll forgive it if we get through this movie without her vomiting.

Kate: She’s in like her third tri already so she really shouldn’t

Devin: Google says this is a sequel, to Olympus Has Fallen. Lots of stuff falling apparently

Kate: Knew it!!! I’ve seen that one too

Devin: Really? I'm guessing last time he saved President Harvey Dent from terrorists, wooed or impregnated his wife, and got hired for secret service or unfired from secret service

Kate: Unfired, if it’s what I’m thinking of

Devin: This time he'll save the Prime Minister from terrorists, see his kid born, and...uh. Be knighted? That's my guess

Kate: Seems like a totally logical guess to me. I’m betting he discovers the Prime Minister was murdered. I don’t think people are expected to attend state funerals?

Devin: I think it's cause his vice isn't available? I think normally this is the kind of thing they send him for. But I am basing that on episodes of Madam Secretary so who knows

Kate: New guess!! President is killed and Butler has to protect Freeman

Devin: Hmmm. Maybe. Is Freeman the Vice?

Kate: Yes. He said “Hello, Mr VP”

Devin: I'm missing like half of this dialogue, idk how

Kate: Cause it’s boring

Devin: I want splosions!

Kate: This baby melodrama music is not my favorite. Once again I feel like writing is letting us down?

Devin: Yeah. Be better hollywood!

Kate: Also important people shouldn’t just sign shit without looking at it

Devin: is this the fringe guy? No. Who is he? He's someone

Kate: I think? No?

Devin: Fringe guy is similar but different. Oh! The Magicians? Magicians teacher guy?

Kate: No, definitely not him

Devin: IMDBing....

Kate: “Most protected event on earth”= everyone will die

Devin: Yup. This cast listing order is stupid. Do we know British Gerard Butler's name?

Kate: You mean the head of the British security? Also no. Also I think they’re going to use kids?

Devin: Yes, British guy. Mr. Sands! From Limitless. Thanks wikipedia, for your superior cast list

Kate: Limitless. That’s right, I never watched much of that

Devin: I really liked the main guy and all the arts and crafts in that show. I'm sad it was cancelled. Also we should add the movie to our review list

Kate: Yes!

Devin: Splosion! I didn't think those guards were supposed to have real guns? Then again EMTs should definitely not have rocket launchers

Kate: Hahaha, yeah, those cops are definitely plants. It’s clearly a very well orchestrated attack

Devin: Pretty sure only america gives their cops guns. Also, rocket launcher

Kate: Wow I don’t care how this movie ends the world would not recover from this

Devin: Yeah Kate, it's fallen. Show. Us. The. Egg. It's not London unless I see the big glass egg and the ferris wheel

Kate: How did they know that one president wouldn’t leave on time?

Devin: Trackers? Or they caused the traffic?

Kate: No, he decided?

Devin: Motorcycles, a car's only weakness

Kate: Nice driving!

Devin: Don't injure civilians!

Kate: Ummmm, Devin. I think that ship has sailed.

Devin: He rammed the bad guy into a non bad guy car!

Kate: Oh fuck. Ok so who is the black lady? Is she the First Lady?

Devin: Voight buddy, you could have moved. He's the driver, she's the head of secret service

Kate: He was driving! It was a bullet! Give him some credit. Is she?

Devin: Yes. According to wikipedia

Kate: She’s not doing much. And she hunkered with the president?

Devin: Right? Stop flailing. Where is your gun, woman?

Kate: Oh god. That was brutal

Devin: That was very brutal

Kate: Why didn’t they park closer to the chopper?

Devin: Crashing in 3...2...oh ok nvm

Kate: Hahaha

Devin: He's got a cane so you know he's evil

Kate: So true

Devin: Moral of this movie: don't trust the handicapped

Kate: And yet, they didn’t detect a plan of this magnitude

Devin: Uh, did those people just have labels?

Kate: Yes. NSA and something else

Devin: Like, movie? Movie. We do not care

Kate: I’m assuming it will be important later?

Devin: Why is the lady not doing anything?

Kate: Nice, flares! I like flares. Why are they flying so low anyway?

Devin: I got distracted googling the secret service

Kate: Anything pertinent to share?

Devin: Apparently the director just does the boring shit, so idk why she's even here

Kate: Ummmm, I think the movie should end here?

Devin: Yes they all died. The End

Kate: No way anyone survived that. I call bullshit

Devin: Also, I assumed presidents would have like one guy their whole time in office? But apparently they hire someone new a lot. Oh she dead.

Kate: For the secret service?

Devin: As director. Like Obama had 2

Kate: I mean, that’s four years for each

Devin: Trump has already had 2. The first guy for like 2 months? 1 month?

Kate: Well, Trump does that a lot. He’s had like 8 communication directors

Devin: I just wonder if they choose to leave or if the president purposefully swaps them out

Kate: Also working for the president is really intense, so maybe you just burn out and have to leave

Devin: Makes sense. The local biker gang is here

Kate: I don’t think bikes make that noise. That is dumb

Devin: Yes. Also no one checked the wreck

Kate: At least we know from earlier scenes they are fast runners!

Devin: This looks like he put his manifesto on youtube

Kate: What point is there in entertaining this phone call? Also why does he care about one president?

Devin: Imagine if he called before they watched the video! Like 5 minutes earlier

Kate: Right? He should take the uniform too

Devin:

"Who is this?"

"It's...seriously? You didn't see my video?"

"h/o googling it"

"It's on youtube"

"yeah one sec, gotta sit through this 50 shade of grey trailer"

Kate: Ahhhhhhh Being hunted by motorbikes!! Oh no

Devin: Sure, that's subtle. Also this is a regular subway

Kate: I like that he was able to loot the body for weapons. Very practical

Devin: Jesus Gerard Butler. WTF? You went from zero to torture in no time

Kate: I know, little intense. Definitely running on adrenaline

Devin: This is the most 'murrican fucking movie. You cannot convince me that huge squads of racists didn't come out of this movie going "rah rah ‘murrica"

Kate: Oh god. Unfortunately yes

Devin: Although these talky bits suck. I'd rather have more fighting. Oh, thanks label, I really cared what time it was

Kate: Everyone is dead, that’s what this discussion is. I mean surrender and then ambush. How many people do they think there are? You’re not going to be professional right now? Weird

Devin: Blah blah blah. Bitch it was a wedding. Of course his family was there

Kate: How did you not know his family was there? It was a wedding. So dumb

Devin: What even is the point of that dialogue? There better be drugs in his water or something

Kate: What kind of shoddy intel are you all operating on? This is dumb. Do criticize if necessary. You have to teach them. Also off color jokes?

Devin: "You know what's most important Mike? Children. That's why we are never going to spend time with ours in any subsequent movie."

Kate: Of course it’s not your delta team.

Devin: Yeah why was that message not in code?

Kate: Zoom in!

Devin: Enhance! Your safe house has a fucking skylight!?

Kate: Seems like a pretty lame safe house. Oh this is gross

Devin: This movie is very gratuitous with its gore

Kate: It really is. And president you should not have done that. You are not almost out of this by any long shot

Devin: There must be a porno of this where they fuck right then

Kate: Did all of MI6 just die?

Devin: I'm not going to lie, that weird pirate porno you made us watch that one time is better than this movie

Kate: Haha! Oh pirates. Also my taste is terrible because I still enjoy this

Devin: I don't believe the hackers would make this basic of a mistake

Kate: No, me neither

Devin: Also driving seems like the quickest way to be spotted?

Kate: They kept everything under the radar but you didn’t notice this earlier?

Devin: Ok I guess at least the car is bulletproofed

Kate: How many of these terrorists are there supposed to be?

Devin: It's just the same 4 guys, they're really fast. They keep healing when they're off screen

Kate: Seems like an infinite supply. Mutants!! Also Mike is still somehow always faster

Devin: Now I want an action movie where 3/4 of the way through you realize he's been re-killing the same 5 guys over and over and surprise! it's really a fantasy/horror movie!

Kate: That would be so good. Change the whole game. I do oddly think this would make a good porno with very very little change

Devin: It's cause there's so much standing really close while breathing heavily and the plot is basically just as thin

Kate: Yeah pretty much. It’s a male romance novel

Devin: Also there have been.....5 women? in this entire movie. 6, I guess. Wife, mother, secret service director, beehive, assistant cop, MI6

Kate: Assistant cop?

Devin: Black lady?

Kate: I don’t remember her

Devin: She was in the bullpen with not!Fringe guy

Kate: Ok sure

Devin: Oh, ok, and random lady who had a text label I didn't read

Kate: There was the turning 30 woman and one lady head of state.

Devin: Still, none of these people shooting right now? There's like 20 guys in this scene!

Kate: Nope. Can’t have women in harm’s way unless they don’t have a choice. Also no lady terrorists

Devin: Only lady terrorists allowed are dead motivation ones

Kate: Also I’m subbing lady because it’s faster to type than woman

Devin: Agreed

Kate: Omg. Whispered “Mike.” Straight out of a romance novel

Devin: What? Are you ahead of me or did I miss it?

Kate: Maybe? The president whispered it

Devin: No! I must have missed the Mike whisper

Kate: He should be really tired by now. He didn’t have dinner!

Devin: "Hear that? My boyfriend is coming"

Kate: He really should just kill the president. It doesn’t make sense not to

Devin: There is so much manly eye contact and face holding

Kate: So much

Devin: Like I'm pretty sure almost this exact sequence happened in Outlander

Kate: In the porn there would be a scene where the president seduced him, Mike walked in on it, and then they have a threesome

Devin: With the bad guy?

Kate: Yup

Devin: That seems like it would be out of place plot wise. Would the bad guy turn himself in or something?

Kate: No. Just random sex that doesn’t make sense

Devin: Weird. The sex should make sense!

Kate: It’s for real a thing that happens in porn, you get whiplash. Oh god. This is lame. Really?

Devin: One punch where he runs all the way across the screen. So stupid

Kate: Did we learn who the brit mole was?

Devin: Nope. They hacked the police station I think? Damn! Wheelchair guy didn't even get to make a speech about how bad America is. This movie is not even pretending to care about America's mistakes

Kate: Why didn’t he just shoot everyone?

Devin: Out of bullets?

Kate: He hasn’t run out of guns until now

Devin: What even is this dialogue right now?

Kate: Really dumb

Devin: "You fuck with America? OH HELL NO. WE BAT SHIT. WE WILL FUCKING MURDER ALL Y'ALL."

Kate: America’s not even 500. Witty banter!

Devin: "EVEN OUR PRESIDENT WILL PICK UP A GUN FOR MURDER TIME"

Kate: Also he’s not dead because you haven’t killed him?

Devin: Yeah you just punched him a bit and talked nonsense

Kate: Once again, another thing they wouldn’t have survived.

Devin: I feel like the porno version of this has them go back to their wives at the end with lots of meaningful looks and sly smiles between the two main dudes. Like "yeah, we'll do this again next mission"

Kate: Oh no! But yes probably. Why was there a lock in an elevator?

Devin: Is the president the only one alive from this whole thing? They would definitely make out in this elevator

Kate: I think one other world leader survived? There was a missing link to the terrorist?

Devin: I guess?

Kate: Who sent a fucking video?

Devin: Honestly this plot is stupid Yeah he's def the mole. Also he's running away? Like he obviously did it

Kate: Are we supposed to care about him or her? Because I do not

Devin: They would have had sex earlier in the porno

Kate: Yeah. It would have made more sense. Just kill him already

Devin: Also she would have just arrested him. I feel like the porno would have less murder

Kate: It’s weird that normally I complain about too much sex? But this would just be better as a porn

Devin: Yeah our review is basically "this would have made a better porno"

Kate: How would you have found him?

Devin: Who hears "look out your window" and looks up at the ceiling? Oh maybe that's what the missing link was?

Kate: Also the VP does not have the authority to call that type of strike

Devin: What is this 10 angled shot explosion? Ok, we've got a baby

Kate: So it’s been at least a few weeks

Devin: No prime minister but I didn't realize it was his funeral so I feel like the president is close enough. Now knighthood

Kate: Sure. They don’t know how emails work? Re: is for replies

Devin: "Many people would say this is our fault, but we're america so fuck those people. we'll kill those people."

Kate: “Commence spending no time with my kid”

Devin: In the porno version we end instead with a mirror of the earlier DC lawn scene, with them sitting on a bench watching their wives/kids, and the pres saying something like "still want to quit?" and Butler saying "and leave you, sir? Never." And then meaningful eye contact. Roll credits.

Kate: Hahahah

Devin: Okay, so scores

Kate: Yes. Scores.

Devin: 3/10 for the movie, 6/10 for the porno

Kate: I go a little higher movie? Like 4.5 for the movie. 6 for porno though. I think we can agree that no porn should ever rank higher than 7

Devin: Yeah. Like, even amazing porn is still porn

Kate: Ummmm tropes? So many, “family as our motivation”

Devin: “America is terrible and we never learn anything”?

Kate: Which is so hypocritical

Devin: “One man assumes command of literally every other character without argument”

Kate: Hahahaha. So like 7 on the tropes? They all fit the plot really well

Devin: Yeah, I mean it had a very particular niche and it played to it

Kate: Exactly

Devin: I'm going to give the title an 8/10. Catchy and accurate

Kate: I can agree. Thematic

Devin: London did pretty much fall. Like an old lady in a Life Alert commercial

Kate: Better than Olympus has fallen

Devin: Yeah, plus how fucking pretentious is it to call the white house "olympus"?

Kate: Exactly

Devin: What would the porn title be? I feel like they're usually puns?

Kate: Pun for sure. London may fall but our guys stay up

Devin: kind of long

Kate: It could be the tagline?

Devin: Oh yeah, good tagline. My brain gave me "Banging Private Ryan" which does not fit but is almost certainly a movie that exists

Kate: Hahahahaha. Banging president something? Whatever his name was

Devin: No idea, I called him Harvey Dent the whole movie. London Goes Down?

Kate: London laid down? Cause laid. Get it?

Devin: H/o I have to see if there is a real porn title for this. NSA people monitoring my internet searches, I'm really sorry

Kate: Gives them some spice! A story to take home

Devin: Top result for "London Has Fallen Porn Title" is:

"London Has Fallen movie condemned as racist 'terrorsploitation' "

"London Has Fallen is gun-barrel porn"

Kate: Whelp. Yep. I feel bad for enjoying it?

Devin: "London Has Fallen Is The Worst Film About Our City Ever"

Kate: Oh no it was a piece of shit for sure. Super fucking racist

Devin: “Blowing London.” That's my official submission

Kate: Nice! “Blowing London” is great. I thought you’d actually found it.

Devin: Ok, any parting words?

Kate: It was a dumb racist movie that I feel guilty for enjoying anyway? Which means we should have more action movies made with better plots and motivation. And female representation!

Devin: Or more action movies that are just porn

Kate: Or that. What about you? Parting words?

Devin: If you want to see a movie where Gerard Butler brutally murders everyone, this is it. Or, you know, go watch 300, it is less awful.

Kate: So true.

#kate and devin review #london has fallen #murrica

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him-e · 6 years

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hi i’m really confused why people who hate ben say the first order/ben is/are nazis? like ???? how does that even exist or work in this story? am i just dumb and don’t ~see it~? i hope you don’t think this is me baiting you into something else (regarding your last ask) that’s what made me ask this since it mentions nazis in the article. i really am just confused since i loved tlj and didn’t see any problem with it.

It’s okay, don’t worry. First off, don’t let the discourse get in the way of your enjoyment of fiction, especially when it’s comprised essentially of guilt-tripping, manipulative buzzwords.

Now. The nazi coding in the First Order (and the Galactic Empire in the OT) is there—from the uniforms to the insignia to Hux’s speech to the troops in TFA, everything screams “evil space nazis”—but it’s mainly for the aesthetics. It’s window dressing. It’s a literary trope.

It’s make up, essentially, a shortcut to help the audience identify easily the bad guys as, indeed, Bad Guys. It’s the equivalent of dressing up your villains as monstrous, stinky orcs in tolkienesque fantasy. That’s because Star Wars is a mash up of different literary and cinematic genres, and one of those is classic WWII movies from the ‘40s and ‘50s, the ones that established the trope of nazis as action/adventure/historical drama villain material. The original trilogy in the late ‘70s was targeted to a young audience, an audience entirely born after wwii, who grew up with the imagery of nazi as fictional villains rather than present, tangible real world threat.

So basically the nazi imagery in Star Wars is a homage to a certain movie genre and its tropes and trappings more than a political statement. And the sequel trilogy deconstructs those tropes, which adds an extra layer of distance from actual political discussion of *real life* nazism. (please note that both TFA and TLJ were written before Trump’s election and before alt-right became a pressing matter in the us political scene).

This doesn’t mean Star Wars doesn’t have a political message. It absolutely has one, and it’s powerful precisely because it’s universal, not necessarily localized to this or that specific ideology or political climate: it’s a statement against imperialism, militarism and antidemocratic oppression, which applies to WWII nazi Germany just as much as it does to other (present-day) dictatorships or to the current rise of populism across the world, BUT most of all it refers (in its original intent) to post-wwii US’ politics. In fact, despite the undeniable pseudo-nazi-fascist aesthetics, George Lucas conceived the Empire as a parody/criticism of the united states’ imperialistic politics in the 60′s–70′s and of the Vietnam war, with Palpatine as a Nixon-like figure.

The superficial nazi metaphor, decontextualized from the other influences and taken in isolation as the only possible real world parallel to the First Order, is neither a particularly deep nor an accurate political reading of it. I would also add it comes from a shallow, imprecise idea of what makes nazism different from other fascist ideologies. Consider this: the most defining aspect of the nazi party—the belief in a superior race and the systematic extermination of Jewish people through the Holocaust—has no recognizable in-universe equivalent neither in the Empire nor The First Order ** (we can guess both are sorta racist—the term would be speciesist—towards non-human species, given the fact that you can’t see a single alien among their ranks, but it’s never a Plot Point, and in any case I hope nobody is under the impression that alien, aka non human or subhuman, creatures can be an acceptable metaphor for Jewish people. Right?).

** and by the way: no, the destruction of Alderaan or the Hosnian System is not an equivalent to the Holocaust. The intention there was to wipe out a political/military target, not an entire race because of their race. The real life equivalent to the death star and starkiller would be the atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Guess who dropped those?

So what makes a nazi analogy effective, exactly? Just generic imperialism and world domination? Evilness™? War crimes? The use of weapons of mass destruction? Aren’t other real life ideologies and military superpowers guilty of those things too? How do you strip a fictional representation of nazi ideology of its most important and atrocious aspect, antisemitism, and still expect the audience to take that metaphor literally?

Spoiler: it isn’t supposed to be taken literally.

It doesn’t have to, in order to speak to the heart of the audiences all over the world. The nazi coding might be superficial, but this doesn’t mean that the First Order as presented by the new trilogy isn’t absolutely, unequivocally bad. Why is it bad? The narrative doesn’t get too specific about it—in fact many criticized how vague the politics both in tfa and tlj are—but we know they’re bad: they have a rigid militaristic structure, they blow up planets and entire solar systems, they oppose democratic-looking entities called the Resistance and the Republic (names are important just as coding is), they summarily execute prisoners. We just KNOW that those things are bad—we aren’t sure what their political vision is (beyond obvious galactic domination. To quote GRRM, what is the First Order’s tax policy?), but if they do those things, it must be bad, period. That’s all we need to know to understand this story.

The nazi aesthetics help broadcasting this evilness to the audience loud and clear, because we’re all children of the same culture that (thanks to the aforementioned movies and tropes) taught us to instantly recognize those black-dressed, seriously-looking guys marching in lines and swearing allegiance to an ominous-looking red-and-black symbol as evil incarnate (except we fail to recognize fascist and nazi ideology when it manifests in other, less obvious forms).

BUT here’s the thing that antis constantly get wrong, like abysmally wrong. While the First Order is portrayed as bad and unsympathetic, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo isn’t.

Kylo Ren being made of a different cloth was clear since TFA (you cannot deny the truth that is your family) and insisting to claim otherwise at this point is willfully misinterpreting canon and loudly communicated authorial intent.

Aside from the stormtroopers (who were groomed into their role and are used as cannon fodder by the Order, and who I think will be eventually liberated by Finn), Kylo is the one part of the First Order who is clearly REDEEMABLE, because his nature is essentially extraneous to it. He’s a Skywalker. He’s the last of a breed of wizard-warriors who worship the Force and whose political views, for better or worse, will be always secondary to the way they perceive this energy in the galaxy and their role in it. His enormous power might be dark, but it’s not evil, and right now he’s misplacing it in the hands of an evil organization which he erroneously considers as a chance to bring “a new order” to the galaxy.

Is Kylo a nazi, or at least is he as superficially nazi-coded as the rest of the first order is? Let’s see:

there is no indication of Kylo being racist (or speciesist). Classist? Hell yeah, you can see it mostly in his interactions with Rey (which are, however, complicated and in part contradicted by the fact that Kylo seems to respect and value force users more than “regular” people, including those on his own side). Racist? There’s zero reason to believe that. Or at least there’s no satisfying in-universe equivalent of real world racism emerging in Kylo’s character.

the only group of people Kylo wants to exterminate (like Snoke, and like Anakin before him) is the Jedi order, but the Jedi aren’t an ethnicity or a species. You aren’t born a Jedi. You become one. Destroying the Jedi order is a purge, not a genocide. It’s like killing all the members of a political party, or the supporters of a religious heresy. STILL BAD! (and definitely something nazism, as many other dictatorships, did.) But not steeped in racism or eugenetics. It’s interesting that upon meeting Rey and discovering her force powers, Kylo proposes to teach her. He doesn’t have a problem with force sensitive people per se, he has a problem with those who adhere to the Jedi order. This grudge against the Jedi exists in the context of the eternal hostility between lightsiders and darksiders in star wars canon. It’s not the first time that one side of the Force tries to completely destroy the other, and yes, the Jedi have tried to exterminate the Sith too.

Kylo’s outfit marks him as different than the rest of the First Order, and specifically different from Hux (who is, in many ways, the epitome of the “evil gay nazi” trope, which in turn is a bastardization, mostly for the lulz and/or for fictional purposes, of nazism). Kylo doesn’t wear an uniform or display any official first order insignia indicating that he is, indeed, a believer of that ideology. His TFA costume is reminiscent of a monk or a knight templar (see also how his saber is essentially a red cross shape) while also evoking the classic image of the Grim Reaper (when he’s in full cowl+mask attire), while his TLJ one, while not very different from its earlier version, gives him a dark prince vibe, with the long, willowy black cape and the elegant shorter tunic resembling a medieval/renaissance doublet. Not a lot of nazi coding here, and believe me, how a character looks is very, very important to convey this sort of messages.

So.

What makes a(n allegedly) nazi-coded character convincing, aesthetics aside?

His politics.

Do we know what Kylo’s politics are?

No.

If the First Order’s political vision is vague because it works essentially as a stand-in for “evil organization” and we don’t need a lot of details about it, Kylo’s political views are more than vague, they’re non-existent. That’s because Kylo isn’t a political figure, at all. He got involved with this organization because his dark side master was the Supreme Leader, but we have no way of knowing whether his political ideas really align with those of the First Order, or if he has any at all. We believe they must align, to an extent at least, because why would he stick with them for so long if they don’t. The problem is that Kylo is too fucked up to discuss him this way. We actually see in TLJ how he keeps doing things that “split his spirit to the bone” just because his master asked, and because he sees no choice. He just keeps rolling like a wrecking ball towards complete (self) destruction. He’s a mess. He’s the opposite of a political thinker.

Antis insist to see Kylo as the embodiment of the first order when he’s actually (probably) the seed of its destruction. He exists at the margins of the organization, as a scary, but essentially extraneous presence, who follows his own rules and whims (proof of this is Hux’s seething hatred and distrust for him). We now see him rise as its Supreme Leader, but he, like Snoke before him, is an outsider, a custodian and wielder of an ancient magic/religion that the First Order is very willing to use for their own profit, but seems to be inherently skeptical of. And this conflict is 100% going to come to fruition in IX, make no mistake.

Framing Kylo as a nazi is such a massive misunderstanding of how his character is constructed, his role in the story and what he’s meant to represent to us. And of course it creates a VERY unfortunate dissonance in the fact that we’re EVIDENTLY meant to sympathize with him and root for his redemption.

This is a character who isn’t meant to represent a political allegory, but an existential one. He’s an archetypal figure—the prodigal son, now become the Usurper. His political views remain largely unexplained and unexplored because they don’t matter. What matters is the archetypal ball of negative, destructive energy he represents, as well as the psychological horror of his personal and familial drama, which is the bulk of his motivation in everything he does. Kylo lashes out because of his unresolved trauma with his family and with Snoke, not because he knows what he’s doing or because he wants to achieve a specific goal. Even at the end of TLJ, he’s using the First Order war machine as a weapon to enact his personal, and deeply masochistic, vendetta against Luke, who tried to murder him, and Leia who (in his mind) rejected and betrayed him for the Resistance. He’s also externalizing the blind terror, the hurt, the confusion of having just killed his mentor and long time abuser to save someone who (from his point of view) only used him and then dropped him like a sack of potatoes (yeah, that would be Rey).

There’s no sound military strategy or even logical thinking in his almost delirious attack on the resistance base on Crait, to the point that even Hux is appalled. This isn’t a man who is pursuing a political ideology. This is a deeply broken individual who is fumbling to deal with some major unresolved issues from his past and childhood and who for some reason believes that burning everything to ashes is the only way to achieve some sort of peace. The “order” he wants to restore is more on a personal scale than on a galactic one. The galactic scale is always a byproduct of the personal, as it’s always the case with these thrice damned Skywalkers, tbh.

so to summarize

the nazi aesthetic is superficial and is meant to convey that the first order is Evil

the political message of sw is more universal than “fight the nazis”, not because the nazis aren’t bad, but because the nazis aren’t the only form of political evil people should fight against, and depending on where and when you are in the world, there might be more immediate forms of imperialism and oppression that the local audience might want to see reflected in the First Order (note that the current nazi discourse is incredibly westerncentric and especially us-centric, because that’s where we’re unfortunately experiencing a resurgence of these ideologies, but other parts of the world might have their own oppressive powers to fight that have nothing to do with nazism)

the First Order is 100% evil but Kylo isn’t integrated within it, and even as the Supreme Leader he represents an outsider

Kylo’s relevance in the story is broader than his affiliation with the First Order

in fact, the main themes of his character aren’t political at all

Kylo matters as an archetypal and tragic figure, the continuation of the very archetypal and tragic familial saga of the Skywalkers

Kylo is neither a “literal” nazi nor nazi-coded

insisting that Kylo is a nazi makes you (not you, anon, those who propose this interpretation) look stupider and stupider as it becomes increasingly clear that he’s a HUGELY sympathetic character who is on a redemptive (and romantic) arc

seriously, disney ain’t gonna “normalize” nazis

stop saying that

stop worrying about that

this is the least of your problems

the first order will eventually be destroyed as it should be. Kylo, who is not a nazi, will not

end

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exit-is-everywhere · 3 years

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The danger is that if we invest too much in developing AI and too little in developing human consciousness, the very sophisticated artificial intelligence of computers might only serve to empower the natural stupidity of humans.

While science fiction thrillers are drawn to dramatic apocalypses of fire and smoke, in reality we might be facing a banal apocalypse by clicking.

The economic system pressures me to expand and diversify my investment portfolio, but it gives me zero incentive to expand and diversify my compassion. So I strive to understand the mysteries of the stock exchange while making far less effort to understand the deep causes of suffering.

So we had better call upon our lawyers, politicians, philosophers and even poets to turn their attention to this conundrum: how do you regulate the ownership of data? This may well be the most important political question of our era.

Each of these three problems – nuclear war, ecological collapse, and technological disruption – is enough to threaten the future of human civilization. But taken together, they add up to an unprecedented existential crisis, especially because they are likely to reinforce and compound one another.

Yet it is precisely their genius for interpretation that puts religious leaders at a disadvantage when they compete against scientists. Scientists too know how to cut corners and twist the evidence, but in the end, the mark of science is the willingness to admit failure and try a different tack. That’s why scientists gradually learn how to grow better crops and make better medicines, whereas priests and gurus learned only how to make better excuses.

Human power depends on mass cooperation, and mass cooperation depends on manufacturing mass identities—and all mass identities are based on fictional stories, not on scientific facts or even on economic necessities.

Religions, rites, and rituals will remain important as long as the power of humankind rests on mass cooperation and as long as mass cooperation rests on belief in shared fictions.

As long as we don’t know whether absorption is a duty or a favour; what level of assimilation is required from immigrants; and how quickly host countries should treat them as equal citizens –we cannot judge whether the two sides are fulfilling their obligations.

If a million immigrants are law-abiding citizens, but one hundred join terrorist groups and attack the host country, does it mean that on the whole the immigrants are complying withthe terms of the deal, or violating it? If a third-generation immigrant walks down the street a thousand times without being molested, but once in a while some racist shouts abuse at her, does it mean that the native population is accepting or rejecting immigrants?

The less political violence in a particular state, the greater the public shock at an act of terrorism.

Morality doesn’t mean ‘following divine commands’. It means ‘reducing suffering’. Hence in order to act morally, you don’t need to believe in any myth or story. You just need to develop a deep appreciation of suffering. If you really understand how an action causes unnecessary suffering to yourself or to others, you will naturally abstain from it.

Questions you cannot answer are usually far better for you than answers you cannot question.

The world is becoming ever more complex, and people fail to realise just how ignorant they are of what’s going on. Consequently some who know next to nothing about meteorology or biology nevertheless propose policies regarding climate change and genetically modified crops, while others hold extremely strong views about what should be done in Iraq or Ukraine without being able to locate these countries on a map.

How is it possible to avoid stealing when the global economic system is ceaselessly stealing on my behalf and without my knowledge?

In a world in which everything is interconnected, the supreme moral imperative becomes the imperative to know. The greatest crimes in modern history resulted not just from hatred and greed, but even more so from ignorance and indifference.

Most of the injustices in the contemporary world result from large-scale structural biases rather than from individual prejudices, and our hunter-gatherer brains did not evolve to detect structural biases.

Even if you personally belong to a disadvantaged group, and therefore have a deep first-hand understanding of its viewpoint, that does not mean you understand the viewpoint of all other such groups. For each group and subgroup faces a different maze of glass ceilings, double standards, coded insults and institutional discrimination.

Should we adopt the liberal dogma and trust the aggregate of individual voters and customers? Or perhaps we should reject the individualist approach, and like many previous cultures in history empower communities to make sense of the world together? Such a solution, however, only takes us from the frying pan of individual ignorance into the fire of biased groupthink. Hunter-gatherer bands, village communes and even city neighbourhoods could think together about the common problems they faced. But we now suffer from global problems, without having a global community. Neither Facebook, nor nationalism nor religion is anywhere near creating such a community.

In fact, humans have always lived in the age of post-truth. Homo sapiens is a post-truth species, whose power depends on creating and believing fictions. Ever since the stone age, self-reinforcing myths have served to unite human collectives.

In practice, the power of human cooperation depends on a delicate balance between truth and fiction.

Humans have this remarkable ability to know and not to know at the same time. Or more correctly, they can know something when they really think about it, but most of the time they don’t think about it, so they don’t know it. If you really focus, you realise that money is fiction. But usually you don’t focus.

Truth and power can travel together only so far. Sooner or later they go their separate ways. If you want power, at some point you will have to spread fictions. If you want to know the truth about the world, at some point you will have to renounce power. You will have to admit things – for example about the sources of your own power – that will anger allies, dishearten followers or undermine social harmony. Scholars throughout history faced this dilemma: do they serve power or truth? Should they aim to unite people by making sure everyone believes in the same story, or should they let people know the truth even at the price of disunity? The most powerful scholarly establishments – whether of Christian priests, Confucian mandarins or communist ideologues – placed unity above truth. That’s why they were so powerful.

One of the greatest fictions of all is to deny the complexity of the world, and think in absolute terms of pristine purity versus satanic evil.

Whenever you see a movie about an AI in which the AI is female and the scientist is male, it's probably a movie about feminism rather than cybernetics.

Many pedagogical experts argue that schools should switch to teaching “the four Cs” – critical thinking, communication, collaboration, and creativity.

Due to the growing pace of change you can never be certain whether what the adults are telling you is timeless wisdom or outdated bias.

You might have heard that we are living in the era of hacking computers, but that's hardly half the truth. In fact, we are living in the era of hacking humans.

The god Krishna then explains to Arjuna that within the great cosmic cycle each being possesses a unique ‘dharma’, the path you must follow and the duties you must fulfil. If you realise your dharma, no matter how hard the path may be, you enjoy peace of mind and liberation from all doubts.

Most successful stories remain open-ended.

A crucial law of storytelling is that once a story manages to extend beyond the audience's horizon, its ultimate scope matters little.

A wise old man was asked what he learned about the meaning of life. "Well", he answered, "I have learned that I am here on earth in order to help other people. What I still haven't figured out is why the other people are here.

Most people who go on identity quests are like children going treasure hunting. They find only what their parents have hidden for them in advance.

Almost anything can be turned into a ritual, by giving mundane gestures like lighting candles, ringing bells or counting beads a deep religious meaning.

Of all rituals, sacrifice is the most potent, because of all the things in the world, suffering is the most real. You can never ignore it or doubt it.

Just as in ancient times, so also in the twenty-first century, the human quest for meaning all too often ends with a succession of sacrifices.

Similarly, you can find plenty of Bernie Sanders supporters who have a vague belief in some future revolution, while also believing in the importance of investing your money wisely. They can easily switch from discussing the unjust distribution of wealth in the world to discussing the performance of their Wall Street investments.

If by 'free will' you mean the freedom to do what you desire – then yes, humans have free will. But if by 'free will' you mean the freedom to choose what to desire – then no, humans have no free will.

The process of self-exploration begins with simple things, and becomes progressively harder. At first, we realise that we do not control the world outside us. I don’t decide when it rains. Then we realise that we do not control what’s happening inside our own body. I don’t control my blood pressure. Next, we understand that we don’t even govern our brain. I don’t tell the neurons when to fire. Ultimately we should realise that we do not control our desires, or even our reactions to these desires.

Many people, including many scientists, tend to confuse the mind with the brain, but they are really very different things. The brain is a material network of neurons, synapses, and biochemicals. The mind is a flow of subjective experiences, such as pain, pleasure, anger, and love.

- Yuval Noah Harari, 21 Lessons for the 21st Century

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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THE COURAGE OF YOURSELF

The real problem is the same they face in operating systems: they can't pay people enough to build something better than a group of founders to go through one lame idea before realizing that a startup has to make something people want. This should be the m. You learn to paint mostly by doing it, but by then it's too late. Plenty of things we now consider prestigious were anything but at first. They're far better at detecting bullshit than you are at producing it, even if you forget the experience or what you read, its effect on your model of the world is not merely wasted, but actually makes organizations less productive. I've read on HN.1 And in every field there are probably heresies few dare utter.

Less fortunate startups just end up in an uncanny valley.2 It was painful to watch. If Sun runs into trouble, they could drag Java down with them. The first is probably the effort required just to start a new company, Fairchild Semiconductor. The suit is back, it begins. It doesn't do justice to the situation to say never mind, I'm just tired. The most dangerous way to lose time is not to say that to Japanese or Europeans it would seem like something out of the third world. And we know from experience that some undergrads are as capable as most grad students. Even Einstein probably had moments when he was optimistic. A lot of VCs would have rejected Microsoft.

Judging startups is hard even for the best investors, who are both hard to bluff and who already believe most other investors are conventional-minded drones doomed always to miss the big outliers.3 We decided we ought to have T-Shirts for the SFP, and we'd been thinking about what to do by a boss.4 Have you ever seen an old photo of yourself and been embarrassed at the way a painting is made.5 Your program is supposed to do x. Either it's something they felt they had to do. When I learned to program, we had to read in English classes was mostly fiction, so I was haunting galleries anyway. It's also great for morale.6 And so it became synonymous with California nuttiness.7 And it's a good thing. The irony of Galileo's situation was that he got in trouble for appearing to be writing about things I don't understand.

I write great software, because they were so much easier.8 In fact, software that would let people who wanted sites make their own investment decisions. The time to raise money, they try gamely to make the region a center of scholarship and industry which have been closely tied for longer than most people realize.9 I made the list there turned out to be enough. Best of all, for the same reason readers like them. But as one VC told me after a startup he funded would only take about half a million, I don't mean play mind games with yourself to boost your confidence. When I read about people who liked what they did so much that it's critical to get your product to market early, but that you haven't really started working on it to answer calls from people paying you now. Both have the kind of thing for fun. They give employees who do great work for free, in their spare time, and investors are down on advertising at the moment.10 But as one VC told me after a startup he funded would only take about half a million, I don't mean any specific business can. In a startup you have to overcome in order to avoid them, I had to write down everything I remember from it, I doubt it would amount to much more than the valuation of our entire company.

But the importance of this idea would remain something I'd learned from this book, I couldn't believe he was serious. My rule is that I can spend as much time online as I want, as long as buying printed books was the only way to know for sure would be to discover each person's station as early as possible, and the higher your valuation, the narrower your options for doing that. Raising money decreases the risk of failure. Some will be shocking by present standards. Your own ideas about what's possible have been unconsciously lowered by such experiences.11 You may not need to use convertible notes to do it. At Viaweb I considered myself lucky if I got to hack a quarter of the time ranged from tedious to terrifying.12 Prestige is like a compiled program you've lost the source of. Conversely, a town of i dotters and t crossers, where you're liable to get both your grammar and your ideas corrected in the same spirit. The striking thing about this phase is that it's completely different from most people's idea of what business is like.13 Since the custom is to write to persuade a hypothetical perfectly unbiased reader.

Of course, figuring out what you like, and let prestige take care of you: they'd try not to fire you, cover your medical expenses, and support you in old age.14 The most interesting question here may be what high res fundraising will do to the world, and in the meantime I'd have to fight word-by-word to save it from being mangled by some twenty five year old copy editor.15 So am I claiming that no one would dare express it in public?16 And in particular, to great universities.17 But the more you realize you can do than the traditional employer-employee relationship because I've been on both sides of a better one: the investor-founder relationship. O-data.18 Maybe I'm excessively attached to conciseness. Indians in the current Silicon Valley. In fact, we've never even invited them to the demo days we organize for startups to grow. I'm not too worried yet.

It happens naturally to anyone who does good work. Each year.19 But publishing has advanced since then: present-day union organizers rather than an attack on early ones.20 What weaknesses could you exploit? It may seem cavalier to dismiss a language before you've even tried writing programs in it. Cheap Intel processors, of the forces underlying open source and blogging. At the time, could get excited about such a thoroughly boneheaded idea, we should start paying attention. An adult can distance himself enough from the situation to describe it as a book. The English Reformation was at bottom a struggle for wealth and power, but it does at least make you keep an open mind.21 That cap need not simply rise monotonically. True, but I can't believe we've considered every alternative.

Halfway through grad school I decided I wanted to do. But this approach, combined with the preceding four, will turn up a good number of unthinkable ideas. In Robert's defense, he was skeptical about Artix.22 And what, exactly, is hate speech? And yet I suspect no one dares say this. The graphic design is as plain as possible, and the partner responsible for the deal was John Doerr, who came to work for our company.23 If you set up those conditions within the US, there are at least some of the most useful skills we learned from Viaweb was not getting our hopes up. If you try convincing investors before you've convinced yourself, you'll be denounced as a yellowist too, and you'll find yourself having a lot of pro-union readers, the first three were our biggest expenses. If we turn off our self-centeredness in that they assume admissions committees care enough about so far is not very good. Painters in fact have to remember a good deal for everyone.24 A more important source, because it's the only way out.

Notes

The idea is the most promising opportunities, it becomes an advantage to be identified with you to commit to them. Hackers Painters, what you call the Metaphysics came after meta after the fact by someone else created earlier.

A P successfully defended itself by allowing the unionization of its users, however, and this was the fall of 2008 the terms they were.

The lowest point occurred when marginal income tax rates were highest: 14. Make sure too that the stuff they're showing him is something inexperienced founders. So whatever market you're in, you'll be well on your own?

What I'm claiming with the melon seed model is more important than the valuation turns out to be able to grow as big as a child, either as an idea that evolves naturally, and that he had once talked to mentioned how much he liked his work. We're delighted to have to pass so slowly for them. Doing things that don't include the cases where you go to die from running through their initial attitude. That's a valid point.

That's because the rich. In this essay I'm talking mainly about software startups are possible. Since most VCs are suits at heart, the bad idea.

I calculated it once for that might work is in the sort of pious crap you were going back to the Pall Mall Gazette. Actually Emerson never mentioned mousetraps specifically.

The founders want the valuation of zero.

And I'm sure for every startup we had high hopes for doesn't do well, but not in the technology everyone was going to kill bad comments to solve are random, the only alternative would be to go out running or sit home and watch TV, music, and stir. I'm not claiming founders sit down and calculate the expected value calculation for potential founders, and that there's no lower bound to its precision. In fact, for example, would probably never have that glazed over look. So it's not the only ones that matter financially, and he was notoriously improvident and was troubled by debts all his life.

What you learn via users anyway. When Google adopted Don't be evil. But while it makes people dumber.

The idea is not yet released.

I stuck with such energy that he had once talked to a degree that alarmed his family, that it offers a better predictor of success. Programming languages should be designed to express algorithms, and so on. But when you ad lib you end up with much food.

It's when they're really saying is they want to stay in a bug.

In fact this would probably be to become one of the increase in economic inequality, but he turned them down. Cost, again. Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. The trend of VC angel investing is so contentious is that the middle class first appeared in northern Italy and the cost of writing software.

Give us 10 million and we'll tell you alarming things, they will or at least a little more fat, and the editor, written in 6502 machine language. Related: Reprinted in Bacon, Alan ed.

Looking at the fabulous Oren's Hummus. Most of the next stage tend to become more stratified.

In some cases e.

We think we're so useless that in Silicon Valley. This is not economic inequality was really only useful for one video stream. They don't know how many of which you want to get endless grief for classifying religion as well, but which didn't taste very good. College English Departments Come From?

N 12-oz cans white, kidney, or in one of those things that's not true! That should probably be the only audience for your work. The downside is that parties shouldn't be that some of those most vocal on the client?

But it was because he was 10 years ago it would have seemed a miracle of workmanship. Our founder meant a photograph of a startup. Few consciously realize that species weren't, as accurate to call the Metaphysics came after meta after the egalitarian pressures of World War II the tax codes were so bad that they think are bad. Every pilot knows about this problem, any claim to the customer: you post a sign in a place where few succeed is hardly free.

Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. It's interesting to consider behaving the opposite way from the Ordinatio of Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. The CRM114 Discriminator. If you want to work on projects that improve the world, but starting a startup, unless it was wiser for them, and one of the market.

If anyone remembers such an idea is bad. A day job writing software. What you learn in college. The other reason it used to hear about the details.

There was one of the best ways to get the money they're paid isn't a quid pro quo. Few can have a connection to one of the causes of the other reason they pay so well.

As I was not something big companies to say they care above all about to give him 95% of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much a great discovery often seems obvious in retrospect. I don't think it's confusion or lack of movement between companies combined with self-imposed. 99, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of dynamic variables were merely optimization advice, before realizing that that's what they said, and jobs encourage cooperation, not widening. Since they don't yet get what they're really not, and earns the right sort of pious crap you were doing Viaweb again, I'd appreciate hearing from you.

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schraubd · 6 years

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David's Personal Top Ten Video Games

This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time. It is a personal list, reflecting the games that have stuck with me the most over the years. I'm not enough of a gamer to claim it is anything comprehensive, and it has a strong bias to the sorts of genres that I like. Nonetheless, I'd stack these games against any that have been made in my lifetime. Anyway, without further adieu ....

Honorable Mentions:

Portal 2: How can a game with virtually no “dialogue” (if that means conversations between two characters) have some of the best spoken lines in all video game history? I have both the original and a capella versions of the Turret Opera on my iTunes (yes, I have “Still Alive” as well).

Railroad Tycoon II: A brilliant simulator that makes you actually feel like a turn-of-the-century robber baron (by far, the game is most fun to play when set in the late 19th century). If every man goes through his “trains!” phase, this was mine. As in real life, I am not good at playing the stock market.

Horizon: Zero Dawn: Robot dinosaurs! Incredibly, Horizon: Zero Dawn takes a core concept that sounds like word association from an over-caffeinated twelve-year boy and makes an entirely serious game about it—and it works. It works so well, in fact, that I loved it despite the fact that the plot and entire world-building background centers around my single greatest phobia (no, not that—being alive for the extinction of humanity).

10. Sid Meier’s Gettysburg: I find it odd that very few games have sought to replicate Gettysburg’s spin on an RTS—focusing combat around regiments rather than individual units and prioritizing morale over raw numbers. But the thing I like best about Gettysburg—and sadly it’s mostly unique too—is in how it concentrates on controlling territory (and terrain). Many RTS games, for me, might as well have a blank screen over 80% of the map between my base and my opponent’s base. You build up your force, and then try to swarm your opponent before he or she swarms you. But in Gettysburg, the goal of missions is not “wipe out your opposition”. It’s to capture and hold a ridge, or dig in and hold an exposed farmhouse.

My only critiques are that I want this game to be bigger. I want it to encompass dozens of map spanning the entirety of the Civil War. I want to be able memorize even more obscure Union and Confederate generals and wonder if they really were “mediocre” or if that was just a game balance decision. The random battle generator is okay, but this game screams for user-created expansions which I’ve never been able to find.

9. Crimson Skies: A pulpy fun flight simulator taking place in an alternate history 1930s where America has fractured and Zeppelin travel rules the day. The game doesn’t hesitate to lean into its concept (phrases like “broad” and “floozy” abound), and it does a great job world-building in a relatively short period of time. Somehow, I could meet an enemy “ace” for the first time in the middle of a mission and yet still feel like we had a history of epic dogfights together of which this was only the latest. Meanwhile, each of the locations the game takes you to (Hawaii, the Pacific Northwest, Hollywood, the Rocky Mountains, and New York City) are a blast and a half.

A sequel, High Road to Revenge, was released on Xbox and leaned a little too hard into the arcade-y elements (power-ups, automatic evasive maneuvers with the press of a button, and so on). But the original PC game was just right—planes flew exactly like how someone who knows nothing about planes thinks planes fly, which is just perfect. You felt like an ace pilot because of your skill (even though behind the hood the game is really holding your hand). Piloting a gyrocopter through half-built New York City skyscrapers, or a prototype single-engine through the Hollywood "O", is great. Doing it to evade local security, then doing a loop and turning both guns on them -- well, that's the cat's meow.

8. Mass Effect (Trilogy and Andromeda): As far as I’m concerned, the definitive space opera (even muscling out Halo). Fabulous voice acting (listening to Martin Sheen play evil Jed Bartlett is one of the great joys of my life) and memorable plot lines pair with a morality system that at least inches away from “basically decent person or utter asshole.” The universe feels genuinely alive, like there’s an ecosystem and civilization that you’re very much apart, but also moves in your absence.

I can’t really separate out the core trilogy games from one another (each sequel seemed to simultaneously step slightly forward and back), which is not I think an uncommon position. What may be more uncommon is that I think Andromeda stands right in there with the core series. Yes, it was disappointing that it took us to a brand new galaxy and only gave us two new species (while eliminating many of the more backgrounded Milky Way aliens). But I was much more disappointed that there will be no DLC or sequels to continue the story and tie up loose ends.

7. N and N++: There can’t be any serious controversy that N is the greatest Flash game ever made. While Flash demands simplicity, N is not so much simple as it is elegant. It is the perfect balance of speed and control, thoughtfulness and twitch-trigger reflexes, serene relaxation and butt-clenching tension. Once you master the floaty physics and the unique enemy styles, you will truly feel like a ninja—stripped to its core essence and deprived of all the usual but unnecessary bells and whistles. A virtually unlimited supply of levels guarantees you endless gameplay.

And so it is unsurprising that N was one of the rare flash games that made a successful jump to a full true game (in the form of N++), one that has a strong claim on being the greatest platformer ever made. The developers were wise not to disturb the basic formula: run, jump, and slide around a level, dodge obstacles and traps that will kill you instantly, reach the exit. Repeat ad infinitum. But N++ adds just a splash of additional flavors and spices into the mix. A perfect trip-trance soundtrack that sets the mood perfectly (and may single-handedly stave off keyboard-smashing frustration). A few new enemy types that deepen the game without ruining its austere grace. And perhaps most importantly, it adds a bunch of extra, semi-secret challenges (which can be used to unlock still more levels) waiting for the very best-of-best players.

Of all the games on this list, I might be in absolute terms “best” at N++ (there are a non-trivial number of levels in the game where I have a top 100 or even top 10 score on the global leaderboards). And yet there is not the slightest chance that I will ever perfect this game, or even come close to it. Nor is there any chance I will become permanently sick of it. A simple concept, executed brilliantly. The perfect N++ level is also the perfect description of the game.

6. Final Fantasy IX: The question was never whether a Final Fantasy game would make this list, only which one. I’ve long had a soft-spot for FFIX, which I feel is often overlooked inside the series (in part because even on release it seemed players were already looking ahead to the Playstation 2). Yet it’s hard to find fault in Final Fantasy IX as an emblem of a straight-forward JRPG. It has a moving story, fun gameplay, beautiful music, loads of quests to do and places to explore, a fabulous supporting cast (Vivi might be my favorite Final Fantasy character ever written), and a lead character you don’t want to punch (*cough* Final Fantasy X).

Final Fantasy IX is often described as “nostalgic”, and despite the fact that it was only the second game in the series I had ever played, I got that feeling instantly. Try listening to the soundtrack for “Frontier Village Dali” without feeling a little melancholic. You don’t even have to have played. But I recommend that you do.

For the record, my ranking of Final Fantasy games that I’ve played goes: IX, VII, XII, XV, X, XIII.

5. Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood: One difficulty in judging games within a series is how to compare an earlier game which still had some rough edges but represented a quantum leap forward versus a later game which didn’t do anything super-novel but tweaked the formula to perfection. That, in a nutshell, is the difference between Assassin’s Creed II and Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. Now, for me, this is an easy call for idiosyncratic reasons—I played AC:B before AC II, and so I experienced the former as both the perfected model and the quantum leap forward as compared to the original game. But I respect that for those who played the series in order, this is a harder call.

What should be easy for anyone is to agree that together, Assassin’s Creed II and Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood represented the AC series reaching its full potential. Ezio continues to be the best protagonist the series has seen to date. Renaissance Italy likewise is the ideal setting for both AC’s vertical and horizontal platforming elements and its shadowy-conspiracy/secret-history plotline. As a franchise, Assassin’s Creed really launched the parkour/open-world exploration genre, and Brotherhood was the first game where every single element of what that genre could be came together. Other more recent games have been tons of fun (Black Flag and Syndicate are I think highlights), but these two games are the reason this series is so iconic.

4. Might and Magic VI: The same problem posed by AC2 versus Brotherhood emerges with Might and Magic VI and VII—except here, I did play them in order. Like the previous entry, I do think that VII ultimately improves upon the formula set out in Might and Magic VI. It’s more versatile, has more replay value, a touch more balanced (and that’s not getting into ArcoMage) … all in all, probably a better technical game.

But Might and Magic VI is for me iconic—it may well be the first RPG I’ve ever truly loved (and given the way this list is stacked in that direction, that’s saying a lot). Virtually all the things that characterize what I love in games today, it had in at least skeletal form. Open world exploration? Check: It was the first game where I felt like I was a true pathfinder—meticulously crawling over every corner of the map to find each obscure bandit’s cave and goblin fortress. To this day I still have the lay of the land in Enroth basically memorized. Overly detailed worldbuilding text to read? Absolutely: my obsessive-streak came out in reading every single artifact description, conversational option, and quest backgrounder (it is canon that Enroth, and the entire planet it resides upon, was blown up in a magical explosion—a fact I’m still resentful towards 3DO for long after it disappeared into bankruptcy). Slight genre-bending? The splash of Sci-Fi onto the fantasy setting was delightful to discover for someone who had never played any of the prior entries in the series. And some of the music—well, the White Cap theme is a thing of beauty, and on my computer “Adagio in G Minor for Strings and Organ” is still listed as “Church Dungeon Music.”

3. Heroes of Might and Magic III: If comparing earlier, more revolutionary games against newer more polished ones presents a problem in the Assassin’s Creed and Might and Magic series, it presents no trouble at all in Heroes of Might & Magic. That’s because the third installation in the series both represented a huge jump forward from what came before and is unquestionably the best entry in the overall sequence.

Sure, some of the expansions are a bit goofy, but they still work—sharpshooters and enchanters are massively overpowered, but they’re generally used in missions that would otherwise be impossible. But the main campaign is fabulous—a surprisingly intricate and interwoven plot that bridges Might and Magic VI and VII compliments outstanding strategy gameplay. And that doesn’t even get into the acre of standalone maps provided, plus countless more available on the web thanks to a map editor so intuitive, even I can use it (I’m terrible with map editors).

As a result of all of this, Heroes III is maybe the only game on this list that can compete with N++ regarding infinite replayability. This is fortunate, because—given the fact that Heroes III was a full-budget release and was not supposed to be “simple”—it ages incredibly well. Even the graphics hold up (no need for that remastered remake—which doesn’t even include the expansions!).

2. Witcher III: As you may have noticed, this list has a strong bias towards RPGs. My preference is toward “Western” RPGs (which have a go-anywhere/do-anything exploration mentality) compared to “Japanese” RPGs (which are more linear and story-driven), but Witcher III does an incredible job of synthesizing the best of both. It has a huge open world to explore, one that feels alive and dynamic—but there is also an incredibly rich story filled with deep, well-written characters (of which Geralt—the player character—is but one).

Gameplay-wise, Witcher III really hits the perfect balance. I simultaneously felt like the biggest bad-ass in the room, but also like a single slip in concentration or bit of overconfidence and my corpse would unceremoniously end up at the bottom of whatever cave I was in. But Witcher III particularly stands out in how it subverts certain common RPG tropes. You are a hero, but you’re not particularly well-liked. You’re a powerful warrior, but you’re still ultimately treated as a pawn in larger political machinations. Your interventions do not always save the day, and sometimes don’t even make things better. If a mission starts with a villager worrying that their beloved has gone missing, nine times out of ten that person has been devoured by a monster well before you ever get there. While many games claim to place the hero in difficult moral dilemmas, Witcher III is a rare case of following through (some games might give you the choice to let a trio of witches eat a group of kids whom you recently played hide-and-seek with, but few make it so that might actually be the more moral of the options in front of you). There’s even a quest where you help a knight rescue a lady in distress from a curse, then lecture him that he’s not entitled to her romantic attention as a reward (talk about a timely intervention in the video game genre!). Over and over again, the game reinforces the message that being really powerful and doing “the right thing” isn’t enough to fix a fundamentally broken system.

Most impressive is the emotional impact that Witcher III dishes out. Sometimes this is a result of rich character development that pays off over the course of the entire game (as in “The Last Wish” quest). But sometimes it shows up in even relatively minor sidequests—the epilogue of the “Black Pearl” quest was one of the more brutal emotional gut-punches I’ve experienced in a video game. Ultimately, this was a game where one always felt like each character was a person—they were imperfect, they had their own interests, hopes, dreams, strengths and foibles, and while you were a little better with a sword and gifted with some preternatural abilities, you were still only one player in a much bigger narrative. As a result, Witcher III might well be, in my estimation, the perfect RPG.

Oh, and Gwent is ludicrously addictive. Let’s not forget that.

1. TIE Fighter: I don’t think this list has a particularly “modern” bias. Still, there’s something impressive about the number one game on this list also being the oldest by some measure. TIE Fighter originally came out in 1994, and the definitive Collector’s Edition was released in 1995. It is, to this day, one of the best games ever made. And that’s not a retrospective assessment. Star Wars: Tie Fighter holds up even played right now.

For starters, it is one of the few elements of the Star Wars universe to get the Empire right. I’m not saying that the Empire is the real protagonist of the series. I am saying that they wouldn’t view themselves as evil—as much as naming spacecraft “Executor” and “Death Star” might suggest otherwise. TIE Fighter is quite self-assured in presenting you as being a force for law and order in the galaxy, battling not just seditious rebels but pirates, smugglers, and other anarchic forces that threaten to tear civilized life apart.

Let’s start with something often overlooked in TIE Fighter: the music. It’s probably the only context that the phrase “kick-ass MIDI soundtrack” makes sense. But that’s not even the half of it. The iMuse system dynamically and seamlessly arranges the musical cues to reflect what’s going on around you in the mission—you can literally follow important mission updates (e.g., a wingman being shot down, or reinforcements arriving) simply by the way the melody shifts. I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered anything quite like it since. To this day, the number that accompanies an incoming enemy capital ship fills me with exhilarated dread.

Gameplay-wise, TIE Fighter is almost shockingly rich. The core mission requirements are challenging, but by no means out of reach. But embedded in each level are a series of secondary and secret bonus objectives. These unlock a parallel plot of the Emperor’s Secret Order—but always present a brutal risk/reward calculus. That’s not unrelated to the fact that you’re often flying, well, TIE fighters (not noted for their durability)—but the challenge extends well beyond physical peril. TIE Fighter actually gives you an “invincibility” option if you want it, and yet even with it on some of the later missions and bonus objectives will strain every piloting skill you’ve ever developed.

Most importantly, the secret objectives usually are more involved than “blow up everything in sight.” They reward initiative and exploration. Maybe your primary mission objective is to destroy a rebel space station. But just before it goes down, you spot an escape shuttle fleeing the station. Take it out? Maybe—but maybe the occupants are VIPs best taken alive. So you switch to ion cannons and disable it for capture. Yet that extra time you just spent has given the rebels enough breathing room to summon reinforcements—now an enemy cruiser is bearing down on you. Take out its missile launchers and clear path for bombers while praying that your own Star Destroyer will arrive soon to back you up. All on the fly. All while dogfighting starfighters, dodging mines, giving your wingmen orders … it’s insanely, beautifully chaotic.

Did I mention this is all happening in 1995? 90% of games released today don’t have that kind of depth or spontaneity. In terms of playability, replayability, and just plain fun, TIE Fighter stands alone, and unchallenged.

via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/2HbDTEl

#games #lists

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yoolee · 6 years

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Ye Massive Tag-back Post

I have been tagged in stuff. I am slow. Apologies for anyone tagged in this XD

5 facts about me that literally know one needs to know

(tagged by @saizoswifey)

I get weirdly nervous in grocery checkout lines: I have no idea why. I don’t know if it’s like, the feeling of being trapped in a narrow space (if there’s someone behind you and ahead of you), or the like, awkward social chitchat that I am SUPER BAD AT or what but I get weird. I HAAAATE that the nearest grocery store to me does not have self check-out, and I put off grocery shopping to the last minute. I can improvise a speech in front of a crowd of hundreds, I can jump off high ladders, like, I’m not a naturally nervous person I swear I’m not. But grocery stores...

I once broke into an Irish autorepair shop: Sort of. It’s kind of a long story, but when I was a student in Cork like…8 years ago, they told me to stick to the flatlands and I took a wrong turn and got lost up in the hills and I kinda felt like these two guys who kind of showed up behind me were following me. I did the whole ‘take a couple of right turns’ and it went from two to four guys and I was getting more and more lost and just like NOOOOPE. And then there was trash can on fire and so I like, half-slid down a little cliff, and snuck through/over a chained shut fence and into what turned out to be a repair shop. There were three older guys sitting there eating pizza, and they just blinked at me so I burst out that hey, there was a trash can on fire (like that’s a reasonable reason to bust in, right?). They asked me if I was the one who set it on fire, I said no, they gave me pizza, we waited for the fire brigade. GOOD TIMES. That was the start of a super, super weird 72 hours.

I despise bananas in smoothies: DESPISE. They POLLUTE them, CONTAMINATING everything with awful, horrid, banana-ness. They are smoothie-ruiners. RUINERS. AWFUL, HORRIBLE, TERRIBAD INGREDIENTS OF EVIL. I like banana bread, and my mom’s banana cake, and can sometimes tolerate a banana-nut muffin, but they have no place in my strawberry-raspberry smoothies and they are intolerably smushy on their own. SHUDDER.

I have done a lot of super random jobs at least once: I’ve been a chemist, taught ballet to 6 year olds and figure skating to teens with special needs, charity auctioneer, corn shucker, lighting booth operator, teaching assistant, princess, storyteller, tutor, dining hall worker, medical transcriptionist, editor, corporate recruiter, automated tutorial/phone recording voice, corporate trainer, historical docent, term paper writer, contortionist, martial arts event coordinator, bookseller, video game voice, snake venom analyst (really that and perfumer were subsets of being a chemist, but, worth the callouts), there’s more but like, the list is long and random.

Last time I was in the airport a kid told me I was eating string cheese wrong. I told him that’s how string cheese is eaten on Mars. I recognize none of this make sense, it was 5 AM.

I’m gonna tag @han-pan, @karalija, @mylittlecornerofotome aaaand @jane-runs-fast! No obligation >>;;;

2017 Creator Tag

(tagged by @dear-mrs-otome and @wonky-glass-ornament)

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below (say why if you want) to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

Six Wins and Draw This mostly gets to be here because it had a bunch of characters I had never written before! It was fun to write just a quick few paragraphs (if that) for them. I’d like to do something like this again, because it was much easier than trying to force something standalone for a group I’m not as comfortable with the characterization on.

Compliments I really like fluff. I like communication, and silliness, and sweetness. @juniperotome helped tremendously with this piece, but it really turned out to be one of my favs. I actually prefer this to Burn Down, which was fun and which I do like and was the other contender for this slot, but when I put them side by side, I like this one.

THE WAFFLE COTTAGE CHRONICLES (there’s more) This had been rattling in my head since 2016, but I didn’t post this until January 2017. This was my first headcanon shoving ALL OF THE LORDS into a single story. I recognize that it is very American-mindset-centric, but the sheer satisfaction of brain-dumping the beast was cathartic.I wrote 5000+ words in bullet point form in One Single Sitting and just, it was fun. I still think this is hilarious, even if it has issues.

Lick Your Wounds I still have lingering problems with this piece. And there’s a sort of dual fact thing going on - it could be so much better, but it is also the best that I have done, imo. Those are both facts to me. At this point, it’s a very frustrating piece to deal with XD but even when I am not entirely happy with it, I am very happy and very very touched by the response it has gotten, and so it gets a place. #makepuppyhappy

Scraps UGH THIS FIFTH SLOT. I mean. There’s no question this goes to a Kai group piece. I love writing the Kai group, it’s the most comfortable and it comes the most easily. I don’t like writing modern aus but they just sort of vomit out with these characters in a very love-hate way (I love that they have the opportunity to be happy without the specter of history looming, that’s about it – it’s complicated to explain).

IkeSen Tag

(tagged by @dear-mrs-otome)

Top 3 Warlords in order: Sasuke Nobunaga Kenshin

Favorite Moment in the game so far OH MAN. HMM. I am going to be unoriginal and echo Mrs O – Nobunaga being a matchmaking troll is A+, but I do also love KEnshin and Shingen’s letter to Nobunaga in the ES where MC starts with them but falls in love with Nobu and they are basically like, be nice to her and let her come visit or DEATH TO YOU

Who has the best hair Masamune (Shingen & Hideyoshi have the worst /sigh)

Which voice do you like the most? MRS O I SWEAR I AM NOT COPYING but Kenshin/Mitsuhide are flat tied. Whispery and low, swoooon

Who do you think you are most compatible with? None of ‘em. I enjoy watching their romance unfold with story MC, but as actual self, there are zero combos that would work out favorably for both parties based on what I’ve seen so far.

Which warlord appeals to your aesthetics? Sasuke. Dude. Sasuke.

Which warlord makes you the most frustrated? Hmmm! Tough to say. Maybe Kennyo? Only because it’s seems from what we’ve seen that he is very much going against himself for some reason, and it’s hurting him and that is silly. Don’t do that.

Who would you swear loyalty to, the Oda forces, the Uesugi-Takeda forces, or Third Party forces? NNNNNGH. Oda. If I HAD to. Only because there’s a stronger sense of long-term stability and history. But ideally, none of the above. I would be NEUTRAL TERRITORY opening up a little seamstress shop somewhere in the middle that also serves tea and everyone is welcome to come have snacks, tea and fittings but only if they don’t fight XD (or at least take it outside, and no one dies)

BONUS: Mrs O’s Q: If you had to tell one warlord what happened to them in your own original timeline, who would it be and why? Nobunaga. Because what happened to him can’t yet come to pass in his timeline, so it’s moot. He’s shown to accept knowledge with aplomb so I don’t think it would send him into an existential spiral. He could handle it.

My question for anyone who does this – Which lord would make the best roommate?

Music Tag

(tagged by @skullbygloy100 @dear-mrs-otome @wonky-glass-ornament)

I only have two ways of enjoying music – passively not even noticing what’s on in the background and actively listening to the same song for literal and actual hours on repeat

Passes by Helen Jane Long – I literally listen to this on repeat for hours. HOURS.

Blood // Water by grandson

Cows on the Hill by Jay Ungar

Nowhere to run by Boga

Todo Comienza En La Disco by Wisin ft. Yandel & Daddy Yankee

Dusk Till Dawn by Zayn ft. Sia – but basically, anything with Sia

Shark in the Water by VV Brown – this is my Yukkin song lolol

Waterbound by the Fretless ft. Ruth Moody

Wait for It by Leslie Odom Jr

Clair de Lune by Debussy – performed by literally anyone

ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO ANY OF THE THINGS just tag me <3 And those of you who tagged me - thank you thank you! This was fun

#about lee

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sugaforthesoul · 7 years

Video

[Fan Account] 20170401 - BTS WINGS Tour in Anaheim, CA

So you guys may or may not know but I was in Anaheim last night to see Bangtan. If you'd like to find out about my experience, just keep on reading!

So my day started very early on Saturday morning. I woke up around 7AM. Since this past week was my spring break, I was accustomed to waking up at 1PM and going to bed at 4AM, so needless to say, I had trouble both falling asleep and waking up in the morning. I caught a bus from outside my dorm around 9:30AM and rode it for about an hour and a half up to Oceanside. From there, I took the train around 12PM to Anaheim and I got there around 1:30PM. Fast forward past some details no one probably cares about, I came back to the Honda center (it's right across the street from Anaheim station) around 3:30PM. Since I had an assigned seat, I didn't have to worry about lining up or anything. By that time, most of the merch was gone though, so I didn't get anything ;A; I guess it's a good that 'cause that stuff is really expensive. Anyway, after hours of sitting on the curb and waiting in line, I got in around 7PM. I was in section 204 so once I was inside, I went straight through the doors into the actual stadium. Since I was in row P, my view was a little further away but I was not complaining one bit. When I sat down, a lady gave us an orange and green bag to cover lightsticks for specific songs but I didn't get to use them since I didn't buy a lightstick. For the next hour or so, they were playing Bangtan MVs on the monitors, and y'all. Why y'all got scream... at a MV? I was amused but I expected it since at SMTOWN way back in 2011, I was one of those people who screamed at the videos playing before the show (and was judged by my dad). Anyway I was sitting there amused at the audience but also watching the screen (and screaming at Jas AKA @jeons-jalebi via text and snap). As I was sitting there, watching, it hit me and I was trembling in both nervousness and excitement, which didn't subside until deep into the actual performance. I noticed the MVs were somewhat being played in chronological order but after Spring Day, I was ready for Not Today... the MV... that's not what I got. The lights cut and the intro VCR started playing. Everyone got to their feet, screaming and waving their lightsticks. I was no exception this time (minus the lightstick, obviously). Guess what they performed first. Yup, that's right, Not Today. The rose up from the back portion of the stage and it felt like my heart stopped for a moment. Yes, I video taped it but I did NOT for one moment actually look at what I was filming cuz I wanted to focus on it with my actual eyes. Even though I held my phone very close to my chest, the footage is very shaky. Yes, it's because my body was still trembling uncontrollably. I don't think I need to tell you guys how they perform because I'm sure most of you are under the impression that they're great performers, and you'd be absolutely correct. I think after was the first ment (I say I think because I don't remember how many there were or when they happened). Everyone screamed their asses off as expected and they all introduced themselves in English and all that jazz. I was expecting this but I was not prepared. Goddamn Min YOONGI (that autocorrected to all caps and obviously, I have made zero attempt to change it) did the thing where he takes his earpiece out, closes his eyes and cups his ear. Naturally, I screamed at the top of my lungs, as did others (except the girl next to me; she was texting during half the concert lol). After that they performed Am I Wrong, 뱁새, and (I think) BS&T. I'm not sure the order but I'm pretty sure BS&T was in that mix because I know they performed it around the beginning but I don't quite remember when (I jotted the setlist during the breaks, but I had forgotten by then... I guess I was just that stunned). Yo... those motherfucking hip thrusts in 뱁새... I couldn't breathe, holy shit. Honestly, no amount of preparation can prepare you to see them and I learned that many times in the course of two and a half hours. So far, the award of hype goes to Not Today and 뱁새, which is saying something because usually I'm very reserved in public and I was by myself too. After a break, Begin started and I knew there was going to be choreography for it since Jas told me . I thought I could prepare myself for it… but I was not prepared at all. Begin is one of my favorite tracks and pairing it with dancing ruined me. I was on the verge of tears. And then Lie is performed, and in that moment, it was all over. The choreography was absolutely amazing. It was sensual and well put together. Even though it was Jimin paired with sexy dancing, that style of dancing appeals to me anyway so I was just immersed. It felt a little bit theatrical too, and the red lighting was also appealing to my aesthetic. Anyone who knows me knows much I love the color red (just like Jungkook, heh). Right after, the universe decided it was going to seal the package of that round of performances with my bias. Yes, that’s right, the first round of solos was my bias list, ending off with my ultimate. Yoongi started by sitting in the middle in front of a piano and there were two strings players sitting at each side. I could hear the emotion in his voice, honestly. He kept walking closer, down the stage and delivered the verses with closed eyes. At this point, I was just watching and crying (literally). In that moment, I all of a sudden felt so thankful that I was standing there, able to see him (and them) perform in person. I’m from Florida, so needless to say, they’ve never come anywhere near my hometown. I don’t remember which ment this was in but since I mentioned that I don’t remember which ment went where and what happened in each specific one except the beginning and end one, I’ll insert this story here. So Hoseok was going to each side, getting them/us to scream. Of course the left side would still scream when he went to the right side and vice versa, but that’s beyond the point. Yoongi, after Hoseok finished both sides, growled, and I mean GROWLED like a tiger when he said, “LOUDER!” Usually the speakers in a large concert made the pitch higher, but when Yoongi growled, his voice was the deepest I had heard from him. It sent shivers down my spine (and still does at this very moment as I think back to it) and everyone went absolutely crazy. I am no exception. Every time Yoongi prompted us to be louder, lowkey highkey, I put more effort for obvious reasons. The next set of performances were in the front part of the stage, so I got a better view of it. The vocal line started with Lost. I was really impressed by how much they’ve improved their vocals. There a lot more stable now. Lost isn’t one of my favorites but I enjoyed it (as I enjoyed the performance for every song that isn’t that high up for me). Oh, I’d like to mention that by then, I’m pretty sure my body’s trembling had subsided. I think it stopped when there was a break. After Lost was Save Me, and I Need U. The choreography for Save Me was… I can’t even describe. Obviously I’m familiar with it, but seeing it in person was so good. I could definitely tell I Need U was a favorite for many because it got even louder somehow (if you didn’t know, I tend to vibe more with the tracks that are more hip-hop infused). The next set of performances were solos again and it started with Reflection. Namjoon is one of those people whom I’ve grown to admire a lot in the past four years and seeing him perform was a reiteration of that. There’s just something about the way his voice fills the stadium… that or I’m crazy. After that was Stigma, and guys, we need to talk about Taehyung’s voice. I was so accustomed to his deep singing voice. Yes, I was aware of the high notes in Stigma, but hearing it live? This probably doesn’t mean much since I was shook to the core the whole time, but I was S H O O K. Hoseok performed Mama after, and I must say, I have a newfound love for him. The choreography was very jazzy and lively, and his smile just gave me energy. That whole performance was like a vitamin. Also I had a hard time keeping my eyes on him ‘cause the main monitor behind him and a slideshow of his baby photos and babies are my weakness. After Hobi, Jin performed, and again, so impressed with those vocals. The next set of performances… this is when shit got very real for me, and this is why: the fucking CYPHER happened. Yo, I mentioned that it’s hard to hype me that much if I’m solo and in public, but you better believe I was vibing hardcore with that shit. My mannerisms were like Yoongi’s. I was too into it to notice but when I looked back at the little snapchat video I took of the beginning of his verse, I noticed we’re similar. I also do some of the dance moves Hoseok was doing (and I’m sure some of you know the origin those dances). I’m dancing while sitting at my desk typing this up, that’s how much that performance hyped me. Right after was Fire, and of course the hype did not subside (for most people, Fire is a hype song but not my favorite - dear Lord, how many times am I going to say a variation of “hype”). They had us cover our lightsticks with either a yellow bag or an orange one for it. Following was a medley of throwbacks starting from N.O. Then they did No More Dream (I was so hyped for the former two), Boy in Luv, Danger, and Run. They only did choreography for Boy in Luv out of the older songs. They did 21st Century Girl, and then it seemed like it’d be over but after lots of screaming, chanting BTS, and changing the bags on the lightsticks to create a rainbow, they came back on, starting with Hoseok dancing to Intro: Boy Meets Evil (no, he didn’t rap too). They did BS&T again and talked to us more after. Last, they performed Interlude: Wings, 2!3!, and ended with Spring Day. Most people including me didn’t leave until the VERY end, after the ending video played on the monitor and the boys bowed with everyone. As I walked out, I was a little dizzy, still dazed, but also my ears were so blocked and my throat was very hoarse. I didn’t buy merch earlier but I bought a WINGS shirt with the tour dates on the back (which I’m wearing now)... it was $10! People just went around selling them! Jas told me to look out for stuff like that. The concert was about two and a half hours but i didn’t leave until around 11:30PM because I needed an uber to go back to the Airbnb and when I first got out, they were $45, and I was like hell no because it was $14 to get to the Honda Center. I kept refreshing but the price went up to $75. Eventually I got it at $32 though. The amount of people I screamed to about it when I was lying in bed… yeah I still have post concert shock. I came back to the dorm this morning and since Anaheim Station is close to the Honda Center, I got to meet @perpetually-jungshook :’) We didn’t hang for long; I had a crowded as fuck train to catch… but yeah, that’s it. I wanna turn back time, but the moment has passed so I’ll just pray they’ll come back soon.

#bts wings tour #bts wings #wings tour #bts wings tour fan account #bts wings in anaheim #wings tour anaheim #bts #bangtan boys

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basedmoniwa · 7 years

Text

NDRV3 CHAPTER 4 POST-EXECUTION DIALOGUE

Contains spoilers for Chapter 4. Unfortunately, the video that I based my transcriptions on was deleted, so for now, have this wall of text below the cut.

Leave a like or reblog so people can get access to these translations!

Monokuma: うぷぷ、びっくらこいちゃった？この展開は予想外でしょ？ Upupu, isn’t that surprising? Isn’t this development so unpredictable? て言うか…ボ、ボクも予想外だったぜ…！まさか、モノクマーズが全滅するとはな…！ I mean, e-even I didn’t expect that...! I didn’t expect the Monokuma Cubs to be annihilated, no way...! うわーん、悲しいよー。せっかく可愛かったのにもったいないー。 Uwaa, how sad. It’s such a waste, they were pretty cute.

Kiibo: 何を言っているんですか…！全部…キミがやった事じゃないですか…！ What are you talking about...! All that... was it not your deed...! でも、なぜですか？なぜ自分の子供をあんな目に遭わせたのですか…！ But why? Why did you let such a situation happen to your children...!

Monokuma: だって、最近はあいつらばっかり伸良くして、全然ボクに構ってくれないんだもん。 Because, recently only they are improving so well, that you guys start to care less about me. (translator’s note: not sure whether I should use “you guys” or “they” (as in, the Monokuma Cubs), but I went with the former, assuming that the Monokuma Cubs do have a sense of filial piety.) いやぁ！　育て方を間違ったみたいだよ！ Well! It seems I made some kind of mistake in raising them up!

Kiibo: そ、そんな理由…ですか？ Th-that’s your reason...?

Harukawa: どうだっていいよ。今はそんなヤツに構ってる場合じゃないし。 That doesn’t matter. Now’s not the time to concern ourselves with such cubs.

Monokuma: はーい！　じゃあ、ボクは大人しく引っ込んで、モノクマーズに黙祷を捧げておきまーす！ Yes! Well, I’ll stay quiet, I will pray silently for my Monokuma Cubs!

Shirogane: うぅっ…うううっ… Uun... Uuun...

Yumeno: うわあああああああんっ… ゴン太よー！ Uwaaaaaaah... Oh, Gontaー!

Momota: チクショウ… なんで…こうなっちまうんだよ…！ Son of a bitch... Why... Why does it have to be like this...!

Saihara: ……………………… ………………………

Harukawa: ねぇ、王馬…そろそろ話したらどう？ “外の世界の秘密”ってなんの事？ Hey, Ouma... why don’t you talk? What is “the secret of the outside world”? それを知らない限り、理解てきないし、納得もできないんだけど。 I will not be able to understand unless I know about it, I’m not sure if I can accept it, though.

Shirogane: わ、わたしも、このままじゃ納得できないよ！王馬君！　“外の世界の秘密”ってなんなの！？ I-I, also, cannot accept it as it is! Ouma-kun! What’s “the secret of the outside world”!? あそこまでゴン太君を追い詰めた秘密ってなんなの！？ What is the secret you told Gonta-kun that drove him that far!?

Ouma: ……………………… ………………………

Momota: 王馬…テメーが本気でゴン太を想ってるなら、ここはみんなに説明しておくべき――― Ouma... If you’re seriously thinking about Gonta, then for his sake, explain all of it to everyone---

Ouma: いや…だ… I don’t want to...

Saihara: …えっ？ ...Eh?

Ouma: 嫌だよー！　バーカ！ I said I don’t want to! Dumbass!

Saihara: お、王馬…くん？ O-Ouma...kun?

Ouma: あはははははははっ！あんな嘘泣きなんかを本気で信じちゃったの！？ Ahahahahahahaha! Did you all seriously believe in such an act!? (translator’s note: the original text he faked tears - 嘘泣き, but it felt unnatural so I went with this.) バカだなー！オレがゴン太なんかの為に泣く訳ないだろ！ So stupid! There’s no way I'd cry for someone like Gonta!

Shirogane: う、嘘泣き…？ I-It was all fake...?

Ouma: だって、オレがあそこで“本当の事”を言ってたら、ゴン太は怒って暴れ出したはずだよ。 Look, if I said the truth there, Gonta most likely would have gotten mad and acted violently. そんな事になったらゲームの進行に支障をきたすから、オレが嘘をついて宥めてあげたんだよ。 Since it would interfere with the progress of the game if that were to happen, I lied and calmed him down. …ね？　嘘も使いようでしょ？ ...Well? There’s a time and place to use lies, right?

Momota: な、なんだと…！？ W-what the...!?

Saihara: “本当の事”って…なんだよ。キミはなんでゴン太くんにあんな事をさせたんだ！？ The truth... Tell us. (literal tl. “The truth... What is it.” I made the language more urgent in tone.) Why did you do such a thing to Gonta-kun!?

Ouma: もちろん、その方がつまらなくないからだよ！ Why obviously, because it’s more entertaining in this way!

Saihara: …え？ ...Eh?

Ouma: ゴン太を焚き付けたのは、ゲームが盛り上がると思ったからだよ。 I stirred up Gonta because I thought it would make the game exciting. 大体さぁ、よく考えてごらんよ。 Let’s think through this carefully, from the very beginning. オレがゴン太と同じように“みんなを助ける為”に行動を起こしたんだとしたら… If I was gonna act “in order to save everyone”, just like Gonta did, 途中でゴン太を裏切る訳ないじゃん。それぐらい気付きなよ。 there would no reason for me to betray Gonta in the middle of it. Try to comprehend at least this much.

Saihara: だ、だったら、ゴン太くんはなんの為にーーー Th-then, for what reason did Gonta---

Ouma: にしし…にししししし… Nishishi... Nishishishishi... あんなバカの事なんか知るかよ！ I don’t give a damn about such foolish things! オレは純粋に、心の底から、この疑心暗鬼のゲームを楽しみたいだけなんだ！ Purely, I’m just enjoying this suspicion game from the bottom of my heart!

Saihara (Monologue): そう言って、王馬くんは不気味な笑みを見せた。 After saying that, Ouma-kun smiled eerily. その笑みを見た瞬間、僕の脳裏にある1つの言葉が浮かんだ… The moment I saw that smile, only one word came into my mind... 悪意。 Malice. そう、彼の全身から放たれているのは、純然たる悪意だった。 Yes, the aura emanating from all over his body, was of pure malice.

Ouma: ほら、オレって“悪の総統”だからさ、性格がひん曲がってるんだよねー。 Behold, I’m the “evil supreme leader”, whose personality is corrupted. オマエラが苦しめば苦しむほど、オレにとって面白くて仕方ないんだよ。 The more you guys suffer, It’s just so funny to me, I can’t help it. 純粋に人が苦しむのが嬉しいんだ！この世にはそういうヤツもいるんだよ！ People experiencing pure suffering makes me happy! (literal tl. “I am happy that people suffer purely!”) There are people like that in this world, too! 理由もなく悪意を撒らす、オレみたいなヤツもいるんだよ！ There are people like me, who spread malice for no reason!

Momota: マ、マジで、テメーはなんなんだ…？ S-seriously, you bastard... What are you...?

Harukawa: じゃあ、あんたは…自分の快楽の為だけに、入間も獄原も犠牲にしたの？ Well then, did you sacrifice Iruma and Gonta just for your own happiness?

Ouma: それの何が悪いの？ハルマキちゃんだって金の為に殺してたんでしょ？ Is there something wrong with that? Even you, Harumaki-chan, didn’t you kill for money?

Harukawa: あんたみたいなクソヤローに、ハルマキなんて呼ばれる筋合いはない… You’re some kind of shithead, aren’t you, I don’t remember allowing some scum like you to call me “Harumaki”... (translator’s note: in this part, the literal translation says something around the lines of, “I did not allow you to call me ‘Harumaki’,” but I made the language a bit harsher and more natural.) 殺されたいの？ Do you want to die?

Ouma: にしし…やっぱハルマキちゃんって、そうやって怒った時の顔の方が素敵だよね。 Nishishi... As I thought, Harumaki-chan, that angry face of yours suits you better. でもさ、オマエラは人を信じ過��だよ。せめてもう少し疑心暗鬼の目でオレを見ていたら… Well anyway, you all believe in each other too much. At the very least, you should have watched me a bit more suspiciously. あははははっ！入間ちゃんもゴン太も、無駄死にしないで済んだのにねっ！ Ahahahaha! If you did, then both Iruma-chan and Gonta wouldn’t have died for nothing!

Momota:　む、無駄死にだとぉ！？ F-for nothing!?

Saihara (Monologue): と、声を張り上げた百田くんは、弾丸のようなスピードで王馬くんに駆け出すと… And then, Momota-kun, raising his voice, rushes towards Ouma-kun at bullet speed...

「ドガッ！」「Thud!」

Saihara (Monologue): と、鈍い音が周囲に響き渡った。 And then, the dull sound echoed around.

Ouma: あ、ごめん…避けるつもりがついカウンターで入っちゃったね。 Ah, sorry... I only planned to dodge that, but I accidentally countered instead.

Saihara: 百田くんっ！ Momota-kun!

Momota: テ、テメ―…！ You, you bastard...!

Ouma: ところで、百田ちゃん… これってオレの気のせいかな？ By the way, Momota-chan... I wonder if this is my imagination. なんだか…前よりパンチのスピードが落ちてない？ It feels like... your punch’s speed dropped, compared to before?

Momota: …ッ！！ ...Ugh!!

Ouma: もしかして…百田ちゃんもオレらに何か隠してるんじゃない？ Could it be that... Momota-chan is also hiding something from us?

Harukawa: 百田！　大丈夫！？ Momota! Are you okay!?

Saihara (Monologue): 声を荒げながら百田くんに駆け寄ると、春川さんは鋭い眼差しで王馬くんを睨み上げた。 As she rushed to Momota-kun while she raised her voice, she glared up at Ouma-kun with her sharp eyes.

Harukawa: 今の…暴力とか体力勝負が苦手って体さばきじゃなかったけど… Just now, that was... Momota said that he hates violence, physical battles, and other such things; You shouldn’t have countered back...

Ouma: あははっ、あんな嘘を信じゃちゃってたの！？ Ahaha, did you believe in such a lie!?

Harukawa: ……………………… ……………………… 殺され…たいんだね…！ You really want to be killed... Don’t you!?

Ouma: おっ？　やっと挑発に乗ってくれた？次は「これは百田ちゃんの分だ」って？ Oh? You’re finally getting on board with my provocations? Are you going to say “this one’s for Momota-chan” next?

Saihara: ダ、ダメだよ、春川さん！ No, don’t do it, Harukawa-san!

Ouma: そうそう、百田ちゃんは、春川ちゃんがキレるほどの男じゃないよ。 That’s right, Momota-chan isn’t man enough for Harukawa-chan to snap over on. だって、そいつってダサ過ぎじゃん。口ばっかり、結局何もできないしさ。 Just look at him, he’s so lame. He’s just all bark, but in the end, he can’t do a thing. まぁ、「超高校級の宇宙飛行土」って言っても、たかが訓練生レベルだと――― Well, even if you’re the “Super High School Level Astronaut”, you're merely at the level of a trainee---

Saihara (Monologue): 王馬くんがその挑発を最後まで言い終える事はなかった。 Ouma-kun never finished saying his provocation to the end. 彼のみんなは一斉に百田くんに駆け寄った。 Everyone else ran towards Momota-kun at once.

Shirogane: 百田君、ケガしてない！？ Momota-kun, are you injured!?

Kiibo: 立てますか？　ボクガ肩を貸しますよ？ Can you stand up? Do you want to lean on my shoulder?

Yumeno: す、すまん！ちょうどＭＰがゼロで、回復魔法が使えんのじゃ！ S-sorry! My MP just now happens to be zero; I can’t use my recovery spell!

Ouma: ねぇ、みんなどうして、そんなダサいヤツの心配なんか――― Hey, why is everyone worrying over such a lame person---

Saihara: ダサいのはキミの方だよ…王馬くん。 You’re the one who’s lame... Ouma-kun.

Ouma: …え？ ...Eh?

Saihara: 百田くんの周りにはいつも人が集まってくる… でも、キミの周りには誰もいないじゃないか。 Momota-kun always has people gathering around him, but as for you, there’s no one. キミは…その程度のヤツって事だよ。 You’re... meant to be that kind of guy.

Ouma: あははっ！　何かと思えば仲間の話？仲間を作ったところでゲームが盛り上がる訳でも――― Ahaha! What’s with that talk? Even if you make friends, that wouldn’t make the game more exciting or--- ……………………… ……………………… あーあ、つまんねーの。なんだか一気に興が削がれちゃったよ。 Aah, this is getting boring. Somehow, the excitement became less intense. もういいよ… ただこれだけは言っておくけどさ… I don’t care anymore… (translator’s note: you can also read this as “I’ll stop for now…” but feel free which translation fits better.) But I’ll just say this... …このゲームに勝つのはオレだからね。 ... Because I’ll be the one to win this game.

#ndrv3 #ndrv3 spoilers #danganronpa #danganronpa spoilers #ouma kokichi

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mindfulwrath · 7 years

Text

HTCIC: Message 2

The second message came in precisely twenty hours after the first.

Xander was woken by her communicator squealing incessantly on her bedside table. Bleary, she sat up and stuffed it in her ear to hear Liu yelling at her. She dressed as quickly as she could and hurried to the comms room, once again having to forego picking her hair. The message was already up on the big screen when she arrived, the whole room abuzz.

helly peyple

we wull be safe. fead? feguohal hyfthwest equatyf, uh the cyastal zyhe. thus eveht us smyke solaf m-class, whuch us a vefy sefuyus uhcudeht. uyh flyw ehyugh ty damage the byat ahd may cause the yfbut ty decay, be cympehsated. scehafuy metef made dufuhg the epudemuc that cah cause uhjufy yf death ty the study. alsy, we pfypose ty move as mahy yf yyuf emplyyees, as thus cah save the eveht. tume wull be abyut mudday, whefe he lyst ty the faduy, maybe all yyuf sehsyf makef. pfyvude feal m-class wull fall by a scyfe of at least 50 uhdergfyund, ty avyud faduatuyh and uyh flyw. yyu cah hyt dy thus, we pfypyse yhce agauh ut us ffee.

ut us gyyd ty khyw yyuf hame, xahdef, ju, luu, and ra∑l. yuf wyfds afe hyt tfahslated, wull be tfahsfeffed ty us. we defuhe the wyfd uh yuf lahguage ty yyu at yyuf destuhatuyh. addutuohally, yyu can cyhtact the befsefk, eugehvectyfs, and uh feceht yeafs.

we are very pleased ty be able ty talk ty yyu. please cyhtuhue ty spread yhly ty the statuyh.

end yf message.

Fortunately, Xander only had to stare at the message with her eyeballs melting out of her head for less than a minute before the corrected version was posted up on the big screen. She silently thanked whoever had gone through the pain of repairing the encoding errors, settling into her chair.

Hello People

We will be safe. Read? Regional northwest equator, in the coastal zone. This event is smoke solar M-class, which is a very serious incident. Ion flow enough to damage the boat and may cause the orbit to decay, be compensated. Scenario meter made during the epidemic that can cause injury or death to the study. Also, we propose to move as many of your employees, as this can save the event. Time will be about midday, where he lost to the radio, maybe all your sensor maker. Provide real M-class will fall by a score of at least 50 underground, to avoid radiation and ion flow. You can not do this, we propose once again it is free.

It is good to know your name, Xander, Ji, Liu, and Raúl. Our words are not translated, will be transferred to us. We define the word in our language to you at your destination. Additionally, you can contact the berserk, eigenvectors, and in recent years.

We are very pleased to be able to talk to you. Please continue to spread only to the station.

End of message.

"Are those . . . names?" Raúl said, squinting up at the screen.

"Maybe?" said Xander. "I think they're talking about names being untranslatable, with that our words are not translated. So maybe it's like . . . our names just look like random smears of color, so they call us something that sounds—looks sort of similar."

"And it goes the other way, too," Raúl said. "Of course. Their names can't be translated, so they just pick words that look right."

"This is such a mess," said Xander. "Should we go capitalize them?"

"Looks like Ji's already on the way," Raúl said, gesturing. Ji dashed down the aisle to confer with Iyoda, and sure enough, the message soon changed to read Berserk, Eigenvectors, and In-Recent-Years.

"There's . . . a lot to unpack here," Xander said, reading through the message again. "They seem pretty adamant about us evacuating, though."

Ji darted back up the aisle and came to kneel next to Xander.

"Okay," they said. "Point by point. Let's figure this out."

Eventually, the buzz of the comms room got too distracting, and the linguist contingent moved to an unoccupied office just down the corridor. They'd been holed up in there for a couple of hours already, and Ji had taken to pacing.

"So," Liu said, looking down at the notes strewn all over the table, "our current thinking. A summary."

"First part is their location," said Raúl. "It matches pretty well with what telemetry found, if you assume they mean hemisphere when they say equator."

"Somebody keep a tally of all the assumptions, I want a number at the end so I can take that many shots tonight," said Ji.

"Okay, I know, it sucks, let's try and keep it together," said Xander.

"Second part is describing the event," Raúl went on. "M-Class solar flare, whatever that means, but apparently it's serious."

"Serious enough to damage our ship and cause our orbit to decay," said Liu.

"Right. Unless we compensate for it."

"Then another call for an evacuation," said Xander. "Which is sensible, if we're going to be taking enough ion flow to damage the actual hull and push us out of orbit."

"It all seems straightforward up to here," said Liu. "But time about midday."

"We don't think they're talking about the actual timing of the event," said Ji. "We're assuming—two—they don't know how long our days are. Besides, midday is a pretty useless measurement when you're in orbit, and we assume—three—they know that."

"The better money is on half a day," said Raúl. "As in, the event will last half a day. Then they go on about losing radios and sensors."

"This last part," said Liu. "The only question of ours they have not answered yet is what they do to prepare. We can assume this is their answer to that."

"Four," Ji muttered under their breath.

"It would make sense for them to hide underground during a high-radiation event," said Xander.

"Or they could mean they go deeper underwater," said Raúl. "They might not have as much of a distinction between ground and water as we do, or they might regard water as being ground."

"Let's—not worry about that right now," said Xander. "Too many assumptions. What we can say for sure is that they take precautions that they don't think we can take."

"You can not do this," Liu quoted. "They propose again we evacuate."

"Then all the name business," said Raúl.

"And then the juicy part," said Ji, sitting down heavily next to Xander. "They don't want us transmitting to any other station."

"Military brass are going to have a field day with that one," Xander sighed.

"It fits in well with Xander and Sam's pet theory," said Raúl.

"Which is?" said Liu.

Xander made a face, fidgeting. "These might not be official transmissions," she said. "It could be a small group of individuals acting . . . individually."

"You're right," said Ji. "Military brass are going to have a field day with that. That would drop the reliability of the information to zero."

"They could be risking their lives to save ours," Xander said.

"They could be a bunch of teenagers pulling an elaborate prank," Ji retorted.

"And if they are?" Raúl asked.

"The military won't want to talk to them anymore," Liu said quietly.

A lull descended upon the room. The group of them all looked around at each other.

"So," Raúl said quietly, "what's our official interpretation?"

"The station they're transmitting from is the only one with translation capabilities," said Ji.

"It's a highly secured location and they don't want Joe Schmoe getting hold of our transmissions," Xander suggested.

"There's another faction of Akasteans working against these," said Liu.

"My vote is for Xander's," said Raúl. "I think it'll appeal the most to Iyoda without making it sound like there are evil Akasteans out there somewhere plotting our downfall."

"I guess," said Ji. They chewed their lip, then nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right, that'll appeal to their paranoia instead of—of—"

"Making it get in the way?" Liu suggested.

"Sure, let's go with that," said Ji. "So what's our response? I assume we're responding. Five."

"Iyoda hasn't given any direct orders to," Raúl said, frowning.

"Okay, well, she hasn't given any direct orders not to, either," said Ji.

"Someone could go ask," Xander said. "That way we don't end up wasting our time if they've decided not to respond. Besides, she'll probably have guidelines for what we should say."

Again, the four of them looked at each other.

"So," Ji said slowly, "somebody can go ask Iyoda what the official message should say, and the rest of us—"

"We can't just send a message without anyone knowing about it," Raúl interrupted.

"It would be very difficult," Liu said. "All transmissions to Akaste are strictly monitored."

"...From?" Xander said.

"What?"

"To Akaste, from where?" said Xander.

"From here," said Liu.

"But transmissions to Akaste from anywhere else. . . ?"

"Presumably monitored by their own home station," said Raúl.

"And transmissions from the Asphaleia to anywhere else?" Xander pressed.

"Still monitored, but not as heavily," said Ji. "You sound like you have an idea."

"I do," said Xander. "But I'll need to get Sam. And maybe somebody from telemetry."

"There's the new girl, on the Ochoa ring," Raúl said, pointing at the ceiling. "She's not strictly from telemetry, but I hear she's a genius with orbital mechanics."

"Perfect," said Xander. "Can you get her? Without giving away the really—really stupid thing we're planning?"

Raúl mimed zipping his lips shut.

"I'll go talk to Iyoda," Ji declared. "I'll grab Sam on my way out. Xander, Liu, get started on our unofficial message. We could all get sent home for this, so make it count."

Ji strode off. Raúl scurried after. Xander tugged at her hair and blew a breath out through her lips.

"Okay," she said. "Okay. So this is probably really illegal, in addition to being really stupid."

Liu shrugged. "If it's not illegal yet, it's about to be. How should we start?"

Xander closed her eyes and centered herself.

"Right," she said. "Here goes: Hello Berserk, Eigenvectors, and In-Recent-Years. . . ."

#HTCIC #ocs #original writing

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