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mediumgayitalian · 3 months

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If there’s one thing Will is, it’s committed to the bit.

Is there, perhaps, a touch of regret in his heart as he shivers, freezing, clad in nothing but his t-shirt and cargo shorts? Had he been told, before he left his cabin, by his long-suffering siblings that he was going to regret not wearing a sweater? Was the none-too-gentle reminder sixty-four percent of the reason he’d stubbornly refused the sweater he’d originally been planning on wearing in the first place?

Yes, yes, and no, surprisingly; take that, predictability allegations. He’s spontaneous as shit.

(Eight-three percent.)

(Whatever.)

He walks under a shadowy tree, briefly enveloping him in a deeper cold. He tries and fails to hold back a shudder.

“You’re cold,” says a critical voice to his left.

“I’ve never experienced even a mild case of hypothyroidism-borne boreal temperature intolerance even one time in my life, di Angelo, so check and mate.”

Unfortunately, the second half of his sentence is garbled by both his chattering teeth and his throat beginning to close. Curse you, Apollonian inability to lie. Will has people to gaslight, and a reputation to protect.

“You’re an idiot.”

Will wheezes. After three or four attempts, and the threat from his brain to his lungs that he will self-tracheotomize, really, he will, just try and fuck around cause you will sure as shit find out, bitch, he manages to clear his airways enough to employ his vocal chords (which, actually, are inaptly named. They are not chords, they are membranophones. Obviously).

“Nuh uh.”

“You really are an idiot. A frozen one.” Nico huffs. There is the sound of rustling, and for a moment Will is blindingly jealous of his friend’s night vision. He wants to snoop around in the dark to identify rustling sounds. How come he only glows when he’s embarrassed? He gets the stupidest Apollo powers. “Take my coat.”

Before Will can do much as protest, a heavy, undoubtedly warm jacket is shoved in his pockets.

“If you don’t wear it I’ll shadow travel to Slovakia,” Nico threatens. “And it’s winter for them right now, too, so I’ll pop out and immediately succumb to the elements.”

Will’s turn to be huffy, he slides the stupid jacket onto his arms. Immediately, he’s filled with a warmth so potent he feels as if he can almost fix his many mental problems. It’s glorious.

“Jacket smells like you, stink-face,” he says instead. He buries his nose in the collar and takes a deep inhale, closing his eyes as he savours the smell of woodsmoke, leather, and, amusingly, a little bit of oregano.

“Remind me to stab you tomorrow morning. It’s been too long.”

“It’s been three days,” Will argues, but dutifully makes a mental note.

Nico seems pleased.

They finally break through the woods’ borders, stepping into the torchlight of camp, late evening. Will spots three couples sucking face behind their cabin. He then spies thrice as many Hermes kids up to nefarious deeds, such as attaching timed fireworks to windows and doorways for a fun morning surprise. Will makes a mental note, under the stabbing reminder, to prepare burn salve tomorrow morning. And to hide Cecil in his office for his own protection, because he’s a good friend like that.

“Thank you for getting herbs with me,” Will says, turning to Nico. He smiles, trying to pour as much gratitude into his voice as he can. “I hate going alone.”

“Yeah,” says Nico, stiffly. He looks everywhere but Will’s face. When Will does not look away, he glances over, scowling at Will’s broadening grin. “Whatever, Solace. Don’t be so needy, next time.”

Tactfully, Will refrains from mentioning that he had not asked for Nico’s accompaniment at all, actually, and was halfway to the forest with a list of ingredients when Nico had shown up, red-faced, and snatched Will’s list clean out of his hands and muttered something about incompetence and monster baiting fools.

“I still appreciate it,” he says diplomatically, and then, because he is an asshole and also struggles with impulse control, he leans down and pecks Nico’s forehead. “Smooch of gratitude,” he explains when Nico freezes, facial expression resembling that of a squished pear.

“Ha nngh mfgh,” Nico says after a moment. Or perhaps he said hangry muffins, Will’s not sure, sometimes his hearing aids go wonky.

“Indeed,” he says anyway. He leans down to smooch Nico’s forehead again, because it was nice, and because he didn’t get stabbed the first time. “See you in the morning, Neeks. Love you bunches and bunches.”

“Hngh daga,” Nico responds, and when Will pouts he clears his throat and rectifies, “I love you…too?”

Will nods, satisfied. “Yes, exactly. Goodnight.”

He jogs off, waving. It isn’t until he gets back to his cabin and is immediately accosted by his siblings that he realises that he has stolen Nico’s jacket.

“Hm.” He glances down at it. It really is a wonderful jacket. And, plus, Nico didn’t give him a return date, or anything, so it’s probably fine if he keeps it a little longer.

He doesn’t want to get cold, after all.

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fandoms-and-salt · 4 months

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My thoughts on Hazbin Hotel's villains, because I think they have a problem

Valentino

Val is just. where do i even start.

His introductory scene is largely comedic and makes his freak-out over Angel just living somewhere else the butt of the joke. The same scene conveys that he is already losing control over Angel and can’t do anything about it, since Angel is ignoring his calls, and Vox convinces him that ignoring this blatant misstep is the better option. This is an okay scene (i even found it funny), but it’s a bad villain introduction. Especially a villain that we are meant to take seriously and, from the perspective of the main characters, fear.

(There’s also an inconsistency with Angel in ep1-2 feeling free to ignore Val’s calls and messages, but in ep4 he is stumbling all over himself to please Val)

His introduction had to be made from the point of view of one of his victims to set up a proper tone of menace to him, instead of making it from the point of view of his fellow overlords, who view him as a whiny dumb piss baby. This scene would be okay a lot later down the line, in my opinion, when we are already familiar with what a despicable dangerous asshole he is, and the characters (Angel Dust) begin to step up to him more. We see his facade crumble alongside the main characters to reveal who he truly is without all his power and control - a whiny sex-obsessed loser.

There's also an issue of us not really getting a scale of his power. This guy is portrayed as an extremely forward hot-tempered dumbass, who has to be verbally guided to make a better strategic move than a “just kill and rape everybody”. He freaking licks the princess of Hell, talks down to her like she is one of his porn actresses, and physically assaults a person under her care right in front of her, and she is supposed to be someone more powerful than him, and he should know that.

This guy can’t manipulate and strategize for his life, so to compensate for this (and make his rise to power more believable), he needs to have some truly impressive physical power. And tearing apart some character offscreen and wielding some guns doesn’t cut, bc basically everyone can do that in hell, what makes him special? Show off how his vaping powers can really fuck people up, poison dozens, hypnotize them, make them addicted to him! Make him so uniquely dangerous that he doesn’t even need to be smart and cordial to rise to power!! Otherwise, how the hell we should believe that he owns the whole porn industry of the Pride Ring, including legally owning his workers, if the show puts more focus on his stupidity and lack of tact than on whatever power he has?

Like he is meant to be our main antagonist and threat, alongside with his TV boyfriend, until the angels come back in the finale, don’t just waste them away on lame jokes.

Speaking of which.

Vox

I like Vox. I like his voice actor’s performance and the voice effects and filters that they give him to reflect his mood. I feel like he had a better introduction than Val (which is not a high bar to clear): it showed that he is pretty smart, strategic, and image-conscious. With this and his heavily implied power to hypnotize and stalk people through his tech, the fact that he is in power and the threat that he poses are much more believable.

Anyway, this gets completely wasted 10 minutes into the first episode he appears in, when he gets verbally floored by Alastor. And he cried about it right after. And later in the same episode we see him fail again at another one of his schemes, bc he chose the most incompetent spy ever. Once again, silly comedy shatters any kind of illusion of threat that the villains might pose. Which also leads me to..

Alastor

Who is not really a villain, and this is kind of a problem. He really could have been a great threat and an antagonist, but i really don’t believe they are going to go in that direction.

Alastor is a very OP character and is the one holding power and control in basically any interaction he is in, including the villains. And since he is an ally of Hazbin Hotel, whose goals (the details of which we are not aware of) partially align with theirs, he completely fucks over any kind of tension regarding anything that might threaten the Hotel or it’s residents. Because you can just throw Alastor at it and make it go away. Because the writers just can’t have him lose.

And we don’t have any reason to believe that he would just refuse to help, because so far? He does whatever Charlie or Vaggie ask him to do. He might be a smug dick about it, but he still does that. He even agrees to film a TV commercial (twice!) despite his vocal hate of such technology. Furthermore, he has to make a deal with Vaggie so they don’t have him do something like this again (granted, this scene might hold some additional implications in the future, but so far this is all the context we got). Why can’t he just refuse to do things that he doesn’t want to do?

Which they could have fixed if they made his power more limited. Either by reducing the scale of his power so he is at most on the same level as the villains,

OR have his presence and help be limited. Make that the characters often can’t access him for help or he just. refuses to help them. He even says that he is here to have fun and watch them suffer, so wouldn’t them struggling to, idk, get rid of Sir Pentious, for example, be entertaining for him? Or balance out his help with instances where he causes conflicts and problems on purpose. Beyond just him annoying Vaggie for comedy’s sake.

And if any of this is what they are actually going for, then you need to make it a point to the audience that yes, this guy is powerful, but don’t expect him to productively help with any of the narrative threats and problems.

And lastly,

Adam and the angels

I don’t like Adam. He is annoying as hell and his jokes are drawn out and not funny at all. The logistics of him being an angel when he is Adam and when he acts like this, give me a massive headache that is related to a whole other topic i’ll need to make a separate post about.

Despite all this, Alex Brightman is doing a great job selling how utterly insufferable he is. His song is also pretty good, one of the more memorable ones in the show. And he (and the angels by extension) is also the most menacing and competent villain on the show so far. ...Do you see my predicament here?

Granted, this is not a very high bar to clear, as established with. the other ones. For example, in contrast to the pilot, we are only told about how dangerous and deadly the exterminator-angels are. “[Sinners] never managed to kill one of us [angels]” “In the latest extermination, [angels] killed the highest 18% percent of our [sinner] population” etc etc. We don’t see the angels killing anybody on screen, we barely see the aftermath of the extermination.

What we do see is the panic and helplessness with which most of the hell population treat the exterminations, including Charlie. We see Charlie struggling to convince Adam of her plan, barely able to talk back to him, which sells Adam as the more powerful in the interaction. We see Adam not showing all his cards to Charlie, like the fact they are planning to completely wipe out the whole Hell/Pride Ring, showing that he is not completely stupid despite his whole deal (well, there’s implied to be some kind of plan here, but i’ll talk about my problem with the logic in another post).

Otherwise, we don’t have anyone else to compare with him, since Charlie is the only one who interacts with angels on-screen. But all of this so far gives a suitable illusion of how dangerous and powerful the angels are. But what will happen if angels are faced with our all powerful Tumblr Sexyman Mary Sue? Will the universe let Alastor lose and then collapse in on itself? Or the other obvious option?

Anyway, in conclusion, Hazbin’s villains are not very good so far. Their main problems are the fact that the writers can't properly establish their threat and lever of power, or they undercut this with unsuitable comedy. Also, they don't know how to use their OP main character, so they won't ruin the stakes of the story.

#lovin rambles #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel criticism #hh valentino #hh vox #alastor #hh adam #damn that's a long one #im tired #next post will be a lot later cuz i have more to say obv

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tocomplainfriend · 2 months

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Responding to your post about fiction affecting reality: very well-written post and that’s something I agree with wholeheartedly!

Full disclosure: I am a Vivz supporter and don’t really interact with the critique community because of negative past experience (hence the anon), but I really liked your post as it was well-researched and brought up a lot of points that I did agree on. Mostly that, as you evidenced, “it’s just fiction” isn’t a great argument for poorly portraying a serious concept when there can be tangible consequences for that portrayal. And you gave some really striking examples.

In terms of Hazbin, it is not that I believe that Val’s portrayal as an abuser (and consequently Angel’s as a victim) lacks any impact, but instead that it adds a positive one. This isn’t something I’ve researched so the evidence I have of this is personal experience, but as you said in your post that media can affect real life I felt inspired to add to that conversation with how it personally affected me.

So I was aware rationally that a common result of abuse/SA is hypersexuality, like I’d seen that on psychology blogs and such but never really understood it. I’m ashamed to say I thought it was a little weird and very rare. Hazbin was what finally challenged that notion with me. Being able to see how abuse looks and attribute those events to Angel’s actions step-by-step made something click in my head. I even remember that shortly after seeing that episode, I apologized to one of my friends (a survivor themselves) over some judgmental comments I’d recently made over hypersexuality. Said friend also watched Hazbin with me and it’s the reason they talk more openly to me now and we’re a lot closer. Val’s “stupid” behavior in the show and mentioned in Vivz’s comments did not lessen the impact that episode had on me, or make it unbelievable to me that Val could be manipulative. If anything I understand more now that abusers don’t always appear as psychopathic masterminds. And I know my friend finds comments like the Mean Girls one funny and they tell me it’s empowering to make fun of Val’s incompetence.

That’s not the only positive influence Hazbin’s had on me, but the most relevant to your post, I believe. It’s the reason I’m often a skeptic on most criticisms, because my lived experience tends to go against them. You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed, so it looks to me like he’s equally as fetishized as every other character; the unfortunate inevitability of the internet. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone post about stories like mine about learning to understand survivors, but I have heard positive stories from survivors themselves in person and online which lead me to believe that the positive impact outweighs the negative.

Fiction has real impact, very true. But consider that might be a good thing in this case.

Thanks for being respectful!

TW: Rape, SA

I'm a victim of SA myself and that's why I wrote all of this post. If you got something positive out of this piece of media, that's great. Same with victims that saw potion and were okay with it- that valid as much as the people that didn't like it at all. I recommend watching many others shows yourself (or movies, books, whatever) will help you out with sorts of topics in bigger ways. I understand you feel like you got something good out if (and I'm glad) but I do need to say, this is minimal in comparison to other media you could consume regarding the topic!

I personally suffer with Hypersexuality, and the treatment in the show (and merch and otherwise) I found completely wrong. Even if you got to a good understatement of the topic, please put research into it (also outside Tumblr for that matter! There are better places to find stuff about!). Thank you also for admitting your faults over your treatment of hypersexuality and apologizing for it. Many people will never let themselves grasp this concept, so thank you.

If you took Valentino's comparison to Mean Girls or Powerpuff Girl as a way of making fun of him, that's you. I found it, personally, terrible. Specially cause many comments regarding that (that I put on the post) were people actively disregarding the topic at hand. Saying that Valentino is just a karen, or He is Bubbles coded, feels so out of the realm of everything (the last one didn't feel like making fun of him). I don't like the comparison of an active sexual predator to a mean high school girl or a kinder garden girl that's regarded as bubblely or dumb. Feel like you should reach into his actions over It feels diminishing to me and other people (who also complained about this themselves).

People should be extremely careful of what they portray about this topic in media. Other stuff written in Hazbin or Helluva Boss regarding R-pe jokes also is extremely disgusting to me. Never forget that if you think this portrayal is ok, one episode apart it's a gang r-pe jokes towards Sir Pen... and an r-pe joke towards Moxxie in Spring Brakers. Which I find extremely disrespectful to do and adds to r-pe culture as much as any other r-pe jokes (general or towards men) in media. Especially when they want to portray it in a serious way with Angel, where was that energy then? (Don't say Viv didn't write that, she liked a tweet about the Sir pen joke, and the spring braker is written by Viv and Brandon.)

Also, about manipulation:

The tweet right below says that "He isn't manipulating them" because he is too stupid to do so. Responding "The Vees are just meangirls" it's crazy to me.

About "You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed"

Val has being fetishized by the crew itself! The person (who is not an SA/r-pe victim said by themselves, who has being open of shipping ValxAngel and being into r-pe porn) is the one that produce the whole poison part of the episode (also based on his previously non canon ValxAngel comic). You could also go throught the people Viv's responds and likes and it's mutuals with, and they also do the same thing as this crew-member (Raph). Congrats that it doesn't appear in your timeline, tho. If this art appears in a critic post, it is because it's being criticized or brought up to make a point.

[It's not on my blog yet, but I don't like receiving double ask in the inbox, specially of anons! Sorry. I don't know if it's the same person or not, and I don't want to end up receiving 5 asks in my inbox again.]

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel criticism #helluva boss critique

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reachexceedinggrasp · 5 months

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Have you seen the recent Adam driver interview re: redeemed Ben solo never being part of the original plans? Apparently JJs idea as pitched to Adam was 'reverse Vader' who begins the trilogy all uncertain and vulnerable and becomes super evil by the third film 😂 considering the mess that was duel of the fates, I'm not surprised. Adam said he was still 'focused' on JJs original arc even though it changed over shooting. Which is baffling to me, because even in TFA you can't seriously believe this character could go stone cold uber sinister. It's terrible how so many good things in the sequel trilogy are there in spite of tptb, not because of them!

I haven't and honestly at this point I don't even want to hear anything else about what a complete fucking shitshow of stupidity and sociopathy this whole production was.

The idea that TFA isn't setting up a redemption is so absurd to me that I'm not even going to entertain it. I don't believe that even JJ is that incompetent, and his commentary plus TROS indicates that he did absolutely understand that Ben must be reclaimed despite his total disregard for the themes and message of SW. So whatever Adam was talking about, I don't know, and I'm not going to listen to this interview to try to figure it out because I'm tired. Maybe he's referring to the earliest ideas where Kylo Ren wasn't the same person as Han and Leia's child?

But in that case I just cannot imagine why they wanted to cast him in that role.

Leaving aside that the entire concept of a 'reverse Vader' is the stupidest shit I've ever heard, because that was a) literally the prequel trilogy, b) antithetical to SW as anything other than a prelude to a subsequent redemption, and c) SO FUCKING BORING. I know this isn't the first time Adam has mentioned this, but it only sounds more stupid the more clear he makes it that they mean 'the opposite of the ending of RotJ'. Which is just 'the ending of every fucking American action movie fucking ever'. Like putting a 'spin' on Vader by having him NOT REDEEM HIMSELF is just called 'being like everyone else' and 'taking away literally the most compelling thing about Vader'.

I need these boring, unimaginative HACKS to fuck off. Like, the idea that JJ's pitch for TFA was 'worse, more boring, less visually creative, less meaingful, more shallow remake of ANH but also we will ruin the heart and soul of the story and make it like all the libertarian slop it literally existed in order to stand against'.

LIKE JAIL FOR THIS MAN. JAIL!

I saw someone say that it's also come out that the reylo connection was Kasdan's idea, which I feel vindicated by bc I've been saying I bet it was forever. But again, JJ was on board for it and knew what he was doing with the imagery in TFA. He is not so incompetent that he didn't understand he was creating romantic subtext. And text.

But like, I'm just so done with these fucking people. That ANYONE at that company much less apparently EVERYONE?? thought it was remotely acceptable to use SW to tell the story of any character whatsoever who was humanised and sympathetic and relatable to children falling into darkness and becoming ''''''irredeemable'''''' MUCH LESS the LAST SKYWALKER, the HOPE AND HAPPY ENDING OF ROTJ, HAN AND LEIA'S LOVE, PADMÉ'S LOVE, the atonement and reconciliation of Darth Vader is just FUCKING BANANAPANTS to me.

George Lucas should fight these people in an alley.

#sw #a tros ity #salt #the fact that they hired Rian by accident and he was the only person on the Disney lot who understood what SW was #the only person with basic reading comprehension #just put me out of my misery

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tired-biscuit · 6 months

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Idk if this is a thirst but I can’t stop thinking about dilf ish kiba and younger naruto sister reader hooking up LOL

like forced ish breeding from kiba but she likes saying no just for the fun of it (consensual obviously) idk i just think of kiba when i see this video (nsfw)

https://twitter.com/nightdatings/status/1604895927793508352?s=46&t=6RxatRDLfPc8Y545axC0DQ

link (nsfw)

oh my goshhh, the kissing??! the ear biting??! and her little socks??! and the sound of her ass smacking against him when he starts to pound??!??! THIS IS HOW HE FUCKS AND I MIGHT DIE, OK!

to be completely honest, you pretending that you don’t want it and saying no and sort of trying to push him away and all that stuff is something i do see him being very into because it gives him a challenge to conquer and a chance to use a little bit of force and to be rougher and more in control of the entire situation. he’ll use every excuse to manhandle you and put you in your place, you know?

he’ll make you admit that you want him.

and it also gives him the chance to push your face into the pillow and be like “you don’t look like you want me to stop, though”, or when he can feel your pussy clench around him he can get all complacent about it, teasing you with a, “you sure you want me to pull out, kiddo? ‘cause the way your cunt keeps on squeezing me is tellin’ me otherwise.”

and it just feeds his ego SO DAMN MUCH, especially because your scent and body language can’t lie about how bad of a sucker you are for the entire thing and your attitude is crumbling underneath him and all of a sudden you’re going from no to literally begging him to spill his load inside you because he starts to pound you so fucking good whenever he’s close!

also yeah, amongst other things that he likes about you, he’d find the fact that you’re his friend’s younger sister very appealing, too. especially if there’s like a bit of an age gap between you because it proves to him that ‘he’s still got it when it comes to scoring young pussy’ or whatever, even though you’re supposed to be untouchable and ‘forbidden’ because of your sibling (he wants you even more because of it)… and because he feels more in charge since he’s older and more experienced, and simply lives for the thrill that the risk brings.

it’s why he tends to call you kid and kiddo and squirt and other stupid little nicknames like that; almost to make you feel a bit incompetent and thus more reliant on him in a way?

and he’d find the entire pretending in front of others (especially in front of naruto) so fun. like a game of sorts. if he’s anything, he’s foolishly brave and full of himself, so he persuades you to walk around the house with his cum dripping from you, soaking your underwear while you all hang out (he’s so slick and charming when he wants to be, how can you ever say no?) and he just can’t stop smiling because of it, trying to hide the grin behind his hand because he knows something the others don’t and he can smell himself on you while the others can’t and that makes him feel superior in a way.

btw, i do feel like this version of kiba would simply die from happiness if you’d let him take your virginity. he wants you to remember him so bad.

#this man was made for forced breeding ok #you’ve made my head spin anon omfg #biscuit mail #kiba smut

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milchig-de · 2 years

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I want to study you.

Pairing: Scaramouche x Reader (platonic/romantic)

Warnings: Curse words

Summary: You study Scaramouche (he does not take it particularly well).

Notes: I wrote this bc of the new archon quest and scaramouche's drip marketing, but it contains NO SPOILERS for the actual 3.2 update. the only 'spoilers' are for the drip marketing but even then im not sure you can call it that considering its like. one picture thats probably everywhere already. but you have been warned regardless (also sry for bad pic and fic quality. ive gotten out of practice with writing and i didnt want to show the whole picture but it worsens the quality when i cut it) reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

"What are you doing here all by yourself?"

Scaramouche turned around to find someone standing behind him. He didn't know this person and they weren't wearing clothing that could point them to a specific nation or organization.

"What do you want?",

He answered with the most malice he could muster. The stranger smiled at him politely.

"I'm just looking out for a fellow traveller. This area is ridden with monsters. You should be careful."

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tch. I can handle myself."

Cocking their head, they let their eyes wander over his form. Scaramouche squirmed under their gaze. It felt odd, but nice. Like he was being studied very carefully. It was nothing like the way others had looked at him, apprehensive and cautious. It stirred something in him, like a memory he suppressed.

But when he stared back into their eyes and they met his gaze, suddenly the sensation of being studied became overwhelming, their eyes boring into his own, his skull, his brain, looking much further and deeper than his bones and flesh, opening him as easily as a book, reading his every thought and feeling, he didn't know how much longer he could stand it, roughly being picked up and placed under a microscope, having his very being so exposed- and then they redirected their gaze somewhere else, Scaramouche too busy with this feeling to care.

After a slight pause, which he used to recover, they turned back to him. The same polite smile as before graced their face and it made his heart skip an unsure beat, wondering whether they had really managed to read him completely.

"Would you mind if I stayed here?"

Scaramouche had to swallow hard before he could speak, his throat having dried up completely and still being thrown off a little.

"No. Like I said I can handle myself."

They raised their eyebrows a tad. Did they notice he didn't put as much malice in as before? Or perhaps... Did they think he could not handle himself? Did he look that incompetent? The very thought made him furious. If they really had managed to somehow read his thoughts, they would've known that he may have had his faults, but he was not stupid.

"I'm not asking because of you. I'm asking because of me. It's always safer with someone by your side. Don't you agree?"

He let out a snort.

"Of course it's safe. Until they turn their back on you."

The stranger cocked their head to the side and mustered him again. This time, Scaramouche was wise enough to not look into their eyes so they wouldn't gaze into his like that again. Who knows what they would manage with another chance at reading him.

"Well I'm going to stay here. If you're not comfortable with that, I don't mind going a distance away."

"Tch. Do whatever you want."

He turned his body away from them. A few footsteps were heard before the rustling of equipment sounded. Keeping his eyes firmly stuck on his make-shift tent, which consisted of a blanket pulled on a few smartly arranged sticks, he pondered who they were. If they were any sort of famous person, he was sure he would've found out about them on his travels. Furthermore, if they were just an average traveller, how did they do it?

The rustling behind him had stopped, indicating they had finished setting up. They walked around again.

"Would you mind if I used your fireplace? You can have some food as well, if you want."

"Like I said, do whatever you want."

Taking this as a yes, they started working, presumably preparing food.

Leaning back a bit, Scaramouche looked up to the stars. His hands fiddled with his clothes. He was so confused. Why did he have such an intense feeling before? Were they a magician? Or perhaps an insane scientist such as Il Dottore with some crazy device? There was no way they were just some ordinary human. Maybe he shouldn't have let them stay with him. What if the best course of action was to leave while he still had the chance? There's no telling what they would do while he rested. Desperately searching, he looked to the stars for answers, yet they provided none, as always.

He had been eager to get into astronomy, yet it wasn't as easy as it seemed. Regardless, he would not give up so fast. Maybe if he tried just a little harder, he would finally see what fate had prepared for him. Then he could never be betrayed or used again. He could protect himself from a feeling such as the one he had had before. He would finally be someone with an inkling of power. Maybe some day he could show it to... He shook his head. What nonsensical thoughts. Whatever the reason for this thinking, it didn't matter. He would push on and pursure his goals, he was sure of it.

An exclamation from behind him snapped him out of his thoughts. Turning back to them, he noticed a delicious aroma of soup floating around. It made his stomach growl. Upon hearing it, the stranger gave him a soft smile and offered him a bowl of soup. His stomach growled. Disgruntled that he was hungry enough to accept the stranger's hospitableness, he snatched the bowl, without spilling any soup of course. But he was still distrustful, so he took the time to carefully sniff the soup and test it for any poison. Who knows what they'd do if he gave them the chance. They merely watched with an amused expression while eating their own bowl of soup, as if they knew what was going through his head, which made him even angrier.

After determining that they werent trying to poison him, he relaxed a bit and ate a spoon of soup. It was quite delicious, filling his stomach with warmth and a distinct sense of home. ... Home? He was having the oddest thoughts today. It's a soup, how could it possibly feel like home? Yet he couldn't help but eat more of it, craving the feeling it gave him.

His opposite had already finished their bowl, and now observed him while he was eating. They put their head on their hand. Their gaze bore into him. He didnt like the way they looked at him. It almost felt like they knew something he didn't and were pitying him. He had no need for pity of any sort and especially not from them. They were still a danger to behold, as he still knew nothing about them, yet they seemed to know everything about him.

Suddenly, they spoke to him again.

"How have you survived this long by yourself?"

Scaramouche almost choked on his soup.

They couldn't know... No, there was simply no way. Even if he felt otherwise, there was no logical way for them to have read so deeply into his past. They must instead be talking about his lack of a companion, which made him angry once again. After properly finishing his bite, he snapped at them that he wasn't incompetent.

"Ah, it seems you misunderstood me. I'm not doubting your abilities to survive on a physical level. You're lonely. So much so that even the small kindness of offering you food has made you desperate for more. If the way you've been devouring my soup is anything to go by."

His cheeks warmed and he stumbled over his words, trying to come up with a good comeback. Of course they were wrong, he would never crave anything like human closeness. At the end of the day he wasn't even human. So they had no reason to assume anything like that.

A soft laugh escaped them and he could only marvel at it. It sounded so beautiful........ly stupid. Yes very stupid because they were laughing at him. It's not like they had any right to laugh, they didn't have any companion either. And he told them as such. Stopping their incessant laughter, they nodded.

"It's true I'm on my own myself, but I'm not as lonely as you. I sense that you've been betrayed in your past, which has caused you severe issues, am I right?"

His jaw fell open. What the fuck. He had been hesitant to believe that his feeling from before was correct, yet here they were, talking as if they truly knew him. It seemed they were even more powerful than he had suspected. Even more reason to worry, as now he had to do his best to protect not only his physical form and goods from strangers but also his emotions. Considering this was his first time having his emotions, past and thoughts read, he had a lot ahead of him to work through. It was of the utmost importance that such a thing never happen again, after all he couldn't just spill his secrets to any person he came across who could cross into his mental state and-

"It's okay."

Scaramouche looked up at them. Nothing was okay. This total stranger had just turned out to be a mind-reading freak and he had no way to protect himself from them.

"It was just a guess. And judging from your shocked expression, I was indeed correct. You're quite obvious about it, you know. Although I can't exactly say you're wrong, there are plenty of people out there who would stab you in your back as you sleep. Speaking from experience, by the way."

Oh. So they were just good at reading people. He had worried all about nothing. A certain sense of relief flooded him, yet there was also an anger present. Mostly directed at himself for feeling so exposed by their gaze and thus accidentally exposing himself.

"Hm, if you're worried about being betrayed, why don't we become companions? We could protect each other."

What a stupid idea. They weren't excluded from betraying him, so why would they suggest something like that. Truly one of the dumbest things they had said tonight.

They readjusted their position to be kneeling. Looking up at him, they put their hand on their chest, as if they were making an oath.

"I will stay by your side, I promise."

Scaramouche was confident they were lying but.... They looked at him with such an honesty in their eyes, it felt like they were trying to trying to lay themselves open in the same way he had exposed himself by accident. Perhaps he could learn how to grasp a person just by being around them for a bit by this stranger.

Fully aware of the risk he was taking, he decided to agree.

After all, he wanted to start a new life. He even rid himself of anything that reminded him of his old life, such as the stupid colours he had worn before. There was no way for him to start fresh if he decided to be stuck in his old mindset of violently pushing the people away that came to close to him.

So, after some pondering, he looked them straight in the eyes.

"Okay. But don't you dare break your promise."

They gave him a toothy grin. It was cute.

"I won't. I know it."

The smallest of smiles pulled at Scaramouche's mouth, which he hid by returning to his unfinished soup. While he did as such, the stranger started telling him a story from their last travel. For once, he had gained a semblance of peace and happiness, content in listening to their ramblings.

And so, they would continue their following travels together, wandering the nations of Teyvat, content in being just that: Wanderers.

#scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche angst #can u even call this angst #but he is inherently angsty so...#curse words

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mamuscript · 8 months

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They Had To

After we watched the season finale - and then rewatched it, then rewatched both seasons, then watched about a hundred hours of YouTube edits (that last one may have been just me) - we had an hours-long argument about who was “at fault.” After the last ten agonizing minutes of GO2, my hubba was very anti-Aziraphale.

I can’t really blame him for feeling that way - that “I Forgive You” is seared into my soul in a way I’m not ready to forgive Mr. Gaiman for, yet. It was crushing, and the way you could see the hope draining from Crowley is a study in expertise by David Tennant.

I heard someone say recently that you know a storyteller has done their job when you get to the end and, however much you never saw it coming before, once you arrive there, it seems as inevitable as the sun rising in the morning.

This is the beauty, the agony, and the absolute mastery of the final fifteen minutes of GO2.

Because neither Crowley or Aziraphale could have done anything else in that scene.

Crowley was cast out of Heaven for what we have reason to believe was a minor infraction. He’s spent millenia witnessing the cruelty, unfairness, and incompetence of Heaven. He looked into Gabriel’s face as the archangel told (who he believed to be) Aziraphale to shut his stupid mouth and die, already. In the deleted scenes, we see that he witnessed Heaven giving a demon permission to humiliate Aziraphale, just for fun, before they killed him - which is the height of cruelty; cruelty for cruelty’s sake. There is no question in Crowley’s mind that Heaven are the bad guys just as much as Hell - possibly more so, since they wear a cloak of righteousness while they commit their atrocities. At least Hell is honest about what they’re doing.

There’s no world in which Crowley could ever agree to go back to working for Heaven, and part of the pain of that scene is that if Aziraphale had taken a moment to really think about it, he would have realized that.

But.

First (and I identify with this way too strongly), Aziraphale is a company man. He knows that there are problems in middle management, but he still believes in the rightness and goodness of God. As far as he’s concerned, Heaven isn’t the archangels or the Metatron; Heaven is God. And while God, as far as he knows, is responsible for the eviction from Eden, and for the flood, and for allowing humans who start off in abject poverty to be judged by the same standards as those who are given more advantages, he also truly believes in the ineffability of God. He was told, long ago, that all of these things are part of the Ineffable Plan, and Aziraphale would never think to believe that anybody was deceiving him - either intentionally or otherwise - without being explicitly told so.

And crucially, he hasn’t seen what Crowley has seen. He didn’t witness - and hasn’t been told about - whatever transgression Crowley committed that resulted in his fall, and however much he has grown to love Crowley for who the demon has become alongside him, he doesn’t have enough information to know that Crowley didn’t deserve to be cast out at the time. And Aziraphale was not there when Gabriel told him to die; he didn’t look into Gabriel’s face and see the pure, cold malevolence there, the proof that however much goodness there may still be in God, She isn’t actively calling the shots, and the beings who are are ruthless and capable of malevolence. He hasn’t had that experience and doesn’t have that depth of understanding.

But most importantly, Aziraphale is, at his core, a being of justice, of love, of goodness. He has seen things like the flood, he knows there are problems, and he has been powerless in the face of them - but now, he can help. “I can make a difference,” he says. Aziraphale, because of his core nature, cannot see an opportunity to make the world and Heaven a better place and not seize it.

He can’t have made any choice other than the one he made. And if Crowley had taken a moment to really think about it, he would have known that he was asking the impossible.

So, for my money, the tragedy of that scene didn’t begin when Crowley said, “And you told him just where he can stick it, then?” even though that was the beginning of the most painful moments of the series, perhaps of all of television (at least for me). All of that - Crowley’s rejection of Heaven, Aziraphale’s rejection of Crowley’s declaration of love, their brutal separation - was inevitable the second the Metatron put the offer on the table.

(Which, among other things, means that the Metatron is a deeply manipulative villain.) That’s what makes the final scene so riveting, so painful. It’s not only that we want these two beings to be happy and in love and together, and due to pride and miscommunication they aren't. It’s that with who each of them is in their soul, as things currently stand, they are incapable of being together.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #neil gaiman #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

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heckthis-heckallofthis · 3 months

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How I think the Friends cast would act drunk

Squad leader: Canonically he's mentioned he lets loose a lot more when he's had a few drinks, and he's once boasted about how strong he was during a small party in Bar Histamines (overly exaggerated too). I like to imagine he just straight up forgets what social anxiety is. No longer is he bound to the shackles of stressing if a specific behavior he does makes him look weird.

2145: I think he probably has a high tolerance, but if he does drink enough he would probably just sleep. Big nap time for him. His eyes stay open but trust me he is napping. You can't get him up unless you offer him bacteria or he finishes processing the alcohol

IM1235: Canonically she gets a little ditzy and can barely tell friend from foe, you could be scolding her and getting mad at her and she'd still be very happy to talk to you and listen to you. She also passes out but it's a little after she's done being silly.

3033: He has no more filter. He says whatever and goes off about what he's thinking about at that moment. "They overwork us TOO MUCH, I need a holiday right NOW" or he starts rambling about how bacteria tastes bad, or talking about the killer T cells being incompetent and stupid. Usually he will at least keep it to himself but no more, his temper is more explosive than normal.

Dendritic cell: If you let him sew during this period he will probably make the most fucked up looking bacterium you've ever seen, he still thinks he's doing a good job. He's canonically just allowed a naive t cell to activate while he's drunk, so he probably does whatever without considering the consequences.

M cell: M cells probably just in general have a high tolerance. It'd be funny if he absolutely forgot about his depression and just actually started being normal about things. Something unlucky happens to him and he's like "why do I feel like I'm supposed to say something self deprecating right now." He cannot walk in a straight line, constantly bumps into things but never acknowledges the fact that he did, and if he falls over he might just sleep then and there. Right on the floor.

Eosinophil: Probably still has a little anxiety left in her body, gets shaken up by the littlest of things, IM1235 accidentally bumps into her and she jumps. She probably jitters a little, you ask her if she's cold and she does the "Huh?… no I'm not" brain lag.

B cell: He will start flirting with a plant in the corner of the room, when you tell him about it he goes "Well if they are then they gotta be the most gorgeous plant out there." Even in this state he will still insist on taking care of Memory cell, despite him not even being able to locate where exactly he is.

Memory cell: I don't think any part of him changes, he still messes up names (other than B cell) and he still is his old man old self.

NK: She is practicing her sword fighting skills with some other immune cell, she is doing a bad job but she still insists that she needs to or else what if something bad happens??? Who will protect all these innocent cells?? (Other immune cells who aren't out of commission but that will not convince her)

RegT: Solitaire gaming off the charts on her, she's clicking 6cps and will not stop. Probably got a world record solve at some point but was never recorded. I think it'd also be funny if she took a few jabs at HT just for fun, "you're so sloppy" "tuck in your uniform" "you're addicted to sweets"

HT: Emotional rollercoaster on this one. Laughs and cries and goes insane all in the same minute, annoys RegT, calls in some immune cells just because he can. He cries terribly when no one acknowledges him (RegT gotta call in Dendritic cell just to take care of him because she doesn't know how)

Cross: Canonically is a messy and annoying drunk. He either loses his temper very fast or he doesn't even realize when is the appropriate time to be angry. Clings onto squad leader and gets him cups upon cups of alcoholic drinks because he's having too much fun to realize that is rude (and also the fact that squad leader is suffering)

#hope i didnt forget anyone #also hi im back #all because the local discord server dragged me back into it #i love friends so much #them so my beloved #cells at work #hataraku saibou #cells at work friends #hataraku saibō #caw friends #hataraku saibo friends #since when did caw have so many tags #idk what i label this as #headcanons #??? maybe #idk #feel free to say what you think should be changed in this list btw

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pidgeonline · 11 months

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Okay but…who GAVE Gabriel the Amnesia?

I would like to preface this theory by saying a few things.

1. This is all a THEORY

2. This is all based off of ~5ish minutes of footage we have gotten of season 2 so far (actually more like based off of a single sentence and a frame of footage)

3. I am going to be saying an awful lot and it’s not all going to make sense because I am a tad stupid.

4. I have never posted on Tumblr before. I usually just lurk on this app so if I broke any posting etiquette or something please forgive me.

5. This post is mostly just for me to reference when I finish watching season 2. It’s not really intended for the masses lol

With all of that being said, i am REACHING with these theories. I am stretching farther than an elastic band. I am probably wrong!! But if I am not then omg. (i’ll post an update after Season 2 comes out to see if i was even SLIGHTLY right lol)

Let me start off laying my groundwork for this theory. I sincerely believe that when Gabriel says to Aziraphale “you know what it’s like when you don’t know anything at all and yet you’re totally certain everything will be better if you are near one particular person” he means Aziraphale.

Why? Because Gabriel HAS NO CLUE who he is, who Aziraphale and Crowley are, or where he is. Something happened to him and his conscience is telling him the only person he can go to that might have ANY clue as to what is happening is Aziraphale. If Gabriel is subconsciously trusting Aziraphale and Crowley- the two people in this universe who he HATES the most- that means he literally has no where else to turn. WHICH MAKES ME THINK that whatever happened to him is someone in Heaven’s doing.

My money is on Michael. Why? Because in season 1, she went behind Gabriel’s back and spoke with Hell to get some dirt on Aziraphale and Crowley (at that point in the show, Gabriel still had full faith in Aziraphale and stuck up for Aziraphale even after Michael had pulled pictures of Aziraphale and Crowley being with each other from the ‘Earth Observation Files’)

And I DO have proof. I have paraphrased but this is pretty much how the conversation went in episode 4

Michael: *shows pictures of Aziraphale and Crowley talking*

Gabriel: I’m sure there is a perfectly innocent explanation for this

Michael: sure…would you mind if i used backchannels

Gabriel: there are no backchannels,

Michael

Michael: :) *proceeds to use backchannels in an empty stairwell*

Michael is also the angel that went down to hell to personally deliver the holy water.

“Cooperation with our old enemy” -Dagon, Lord of the Files (i’ll come back to these two points late don’t worry)

My question I have is what is Michael’s motivation for trying to get rid of Gabriel? The only thing I could come up with is that she feels as if Gabriel is incompetent in some way. Aziraphale and Crowley are THE reason Armageddon did NOT happen. So Michael’s motivation might be a “we would never be in this situation if I was in charge” sort of thing.

One thing that is in the trailer that makes none of this makes sense, however, is Muriel is shown to be having a briefing with Uriel and Michael about Muriel’s success (or lack thereof) in finding Gabriel on Earth. Why would Michael- who is actively trying to get rid of Gabriel- be trying to find him?

It could be a wild goose chase. I would not put it past Michael to use a naive and people pleasing angel like Muriel to locate Gabriel. Michael is probably assuming that Muriel will fail but knows that as long as there is SOMEONE attempting to look for Gabriel, nobody will suspect that Gabriel’s disappearance was on purpose.

That pretty much concludes my theory as to who I think is responsible for Gabriel “going missing”. But if we are going to ask what’s up with Gabriel, we might as well be asking what’s up with Beezlebub too.

I would like to say that I have significantly LESS evidence towards this next theory and it is even MORE of a stretch in my opinion simply because i lack the reasoning. I just think it’s fun :)

It is very apparent in the trailer and the teaser that Beezlebub looks VERY out of place. Some people have pointed out that their mouth has been sewn shut and they seem to be trapped in some sort of room in Hell.

This means that both of the leaders of Heaven and Hell are out of the picture. For what reason? I do not know. But I might have an idea of who is responsible for Beezlebub’s predicament.

Let’s take a look at this SINGULAR frame of footage from season 2.

Beezlebub appears to be sitting (in my opinion very defeated and fed up) in a room by themselves surrounded by stacks and stacks of paper.

(this is the part where you can SEE i am reaching lol)

You might be asking yourself, what does this have to do with anything at all?

I think this is Dagon’s doing.

If we take Dagon’s title (Lord of the Files)VERY literally, it is safe to assume that Dagon probably does the paperwork in hell. (omg look- stacks and stacks of paper in the place Beezlebub is being held prisoner. how convenient) Being doomed to file paperwork for eternity actually sounds like a nightmare lol.

Now what would Dagon’s motivation be for holding Beezlebub captive? I would assume that they feel some kind of animosity towards Beezlebub the same way I assume Michael does towards Gabriel.

I searched, and I could not find any real hard evidence in season 1 though. Another thing is I don’t even know if Dagon WILL be in Season 2. I haven’t payed close attention to the casting. This is where my theory kinda falls apart but whatever. I’m just having fun :)

Now the next question is, are Michael and Dagon working together then?

I DO think that if my theories are true, Michael and Dagon ARE working together! Like i said before, Michael DID go to Hell to deliver the holy water and Dagon DID deliver the “cooperation with our old enemies” line (i told you that would be important later :)) They have obviously worked together before so what is stopping them from consorting in the future? Nothing.

Okay but what is the ‘Big Picture’? What are they trying to accomplish?

I don’t know. That is something we are just going to have to wait and see on. It might have something to do with “The Big One” (Heaven and Hell still want their war after all), what they feel is best for both Heaven and Hell, or simply just for their own personal gain.

That concludes my theories as to WHO is responsible for the situations Gabriel and Beezlebub are in. WHY they are in those predicaments I am ENTIRELY clueless about. If I am right in ANY capacity when Season 2 drops I will be SHOCKED.

I absolutely LOVE Good Omens. It is my favorite show and no matter what Season 2 is about, I know I will love it. More likely then not, I am wrong and that is perfectly okay. I really just wanted to break out the red yarn for a day lol.

Even if I AM wrong, Neil Gaiman DID say he was planting seeds in Season 1 for Season 2 and I can’t wait to go “OHH so that’s what that was”. It’s my absolute favorite feeling when watching TV :)

Here are some memes depicting how I felt while writing this theory. I felt absolutely bonkers.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #neil gaiman #theory #just for fun #it’s not that deep actually #:)#wait and see

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yooniesim · 6 months

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tw: death mention, cancer mention, oversharing, long-winded self-reflection, far too many paragraphs

The strides I have made with my temper in the past year... real talk... I'm proud. It's been hard to manage myself and keep from popping off but I've been making a lot of progress removing myself from situations that get me heated, irl or online, and I'm happy about that. It doesn't remove my feelings or the damage I've caused with my anger in the past but I feel like I'm making real progress. Even though my depression and overall mental health varies, I feel like temper wise I'm in a lot better place than I was a year ago. I've been staying away from people irl that fed into my anger by being neglectful or abusive to me, and tried my best to work on my own actions at the same time.

I'm also proud of where I'm at with my blog comparatively. I've been working hard to focus on the good things and what makes me and others happy, rather than falling into a pit of negativity. I feel like I can still express myself from time to time, while also being better able to know what is appropriate to say and when. Idk if this is just especially ND of me but I feel as if I had the belief that as long as I felt whatever I was saying was the truth, it was appropriate, and that the negativity wouldn't get to me if I stayed by that metric always. But that isn't always the case, and i'm getting better at evaluating that. At realizing that, even with good intentions, getting wrapped up in all the issues of the world and all the negative discussions can be almost a form of self-harm.

Not many people know about this, but the trauma i experienced during the pandemic really affected me and changed me a lot. If you're a long time follower comparing how I was pre-2020 and after, it probably feels like I changed completely as a person, because I did. I don't speak about it a lot, especially now that it feels like the entire world has... moved on, but. Being a healthcare worker then felt like seeing your own slice of hell. Seeing that much death firsthand and being so afraid every single day, being confronted with your own mortality and that of your loved ones, it's extremely difficult. Especially since I lost a very close relative to a drawn out battle with cancer, who I was a caregiver to, as well. Between that and finally being medicated for the first time in my life, i became numb, and at the same time, I became angry. Angry at every little injustice that crossed my path. I wanted to fix something, anything- even in a silly little community for a silly little sims game. I thought, maybe, shining a light on things I saw that were wrong- scamming, doxxing, bigotry- might help. I broke myself apart trying to do that. And... for what, really? I accomplished nothing. And to this day still deal with people that boil me down to just... a hater, I guess. Too annoying for their personal tastes. As if that alone justifies some of the truly vile things that have been said and done to me, publicly and privately. That continue over a year after the fact. Even now it's difficult to think about sometimes.

I've made many mistakes here. Being an inexperienced and flat out incompetent server owner, to start. But with that, too, I've made progress. I'm so grateful for the mod team I have in Sutopia now. For the loving community that's risen from the ashes of what was once an overly negative space. For me getting a handle on my own love of petty gossip, a fatal flaw. For me learning how to ban instigating and toxic parties instead of naively giving them the benefit of the doubt. I still struggle- because as much as people might think I'm harsh, seeing as I try to put up that front as much as possible, I'm actually far too forgiving to the point of stupidity at times. I've been paralyzed by indecision in the past, not wanting to hurt anyone by mistake with the wrong call, and wound up hurting everyone involved with my inaction instead. But I know now that I have a more experienced team beside me that helps so much with these decisions and ensuring a safe place for everyone. And that's taken a weight off of me for sure.

Occasionally, still, the anger gets to me. I see someone that I know for a fact has scammed someone, or hurt someone, or flat out lied, or harassed me in anons or said something racist about me in private that they have no idea I know about- and they're just continuing on, getting love and adoration over their sims or cc or something, and it gets to me. I want to post, I want to blast everything on here and say, look! They're not what you think! Look what they did! Look who they really are! But then I breathe, and I think. Would it really help? Would it really do anything? Would I be opening myself up to be attacked and hurt for nothing? And I come to the humbling conclusion that it's not worth it. Not worth it for them to come back in a month with a new name and all their friends welcome them back like nothing happened and so simblr continues on as it always has. And I'm just a "hater" that's probably jealous of how many friends they have or how much money they make whatever other egotistical explanation they'd spout after everyone inevitably forgot what really happened. Occasionally, it makes me feel a little sick.

But, I breathe through it. I'm getting better at that. Sometimes I write something long out in the drafts- like I'm doing now- and delete it right away instead of posting it. It helps. Even though sometimes I feel guilty. I think about the anons I used to get, the people saying they were too scared to call out certain creators for certain actions because of how big they were and how much hate their followers would send, I think about the asks I still have in my inbox of screenshots and proof. About how sometimes people would thank me for saying things they couldn't bring themselves to. That I was the only person doing it. The only person who wasn't afraid. Even though I was only "unafraid" because I could barely feel anything at the time. And I don't even have that "advantage" anymore. But it weighs on me thinking that I should be trying to help them still. But how can I help anybody? I'm biased, too. I make mistakes. I've made so many mistakes. What gives me the right to say anything? Being put on that pedestal and having that responsibility on my shoulders- stupid as it was from the bigger perspective of life- hurt me, too. Because no one has the right takes every time, and having the wrong one on occasion doesn't automatically make you a terrible person. But it's extremely difficult for people on the internet to understand that. Sometimes I feel used when I remember those times. Chewed up and spat out, once the flavor wore off. And violated, not by the anons or anyone that disliked me, but by people I thought were friends. That's always the worst part to think about.

.....Until I decide it's time to leave, anyway. Then you're all going down.

It's better not to expose myself, or others, to that again. Is that growth? I don't know. I still struggle with so many emotions. The anger, and the guilt. Regret and sadness. But then, I've also felt so much joy from here, too. When I talk to people in the server, when I help people here with their cc projects/requests, when I read people's stories, when I talk to nice anons. I still love talking to anons so much, and want to have in-depth, rambling discussions with them again! I love to laugh with my mutuals and share our silly little sims together. And, god, sometimes I feel relief. Like, there's nothing for me to prove, no one for me to impress. I can do whatever I want and not worry, because well- so what if I get blocked? Or talked about? Like what else is new lol. I don't need to focus on the community. I just need to focus on me, my posts, my mutuals I already know are kind people. It's a freeing feeling. And it makes continuing to express myself here worth it. I want to concentrate on that. The positivity, the love. The creativity. The people here that warm my heart with their kindness. So I think, as we continue into December and into the New Year, and every year I'm here beyond that, that's what I'll do. Continue to grow, and share the love.

#ceci speaks #nonsims #text #negative #kinda?#ceci speaks a lot more #rambling at night bc depression #kinda positive at the same time tho!#simblr's boogeyman has a heart #yoonie steals christmas #gif warning #get ur screenshot tools out folks its that time again #📸#ceci needs to go back to therapy #yeah yeah im workin on it

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kokitschi · 1 year

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ok ok i know the 4th chapter is fucked up but. u gotta appreciate the way kokichi set this whole thing up. like, it's kind of beautiful, actually.

one thing kokichi repeats several times during the game is "the process of elimination" and that's exactly how this whole case is build up.

every domino piece has been set up so they could all perfectly fall over in the trial. and kokichis the one who did the pushing nonetheless.

like. look at it like this.

(aight uh so this unintentionally turned into a canon compliant fanfic...? don't ask me how that happened.)

you have made yourself isolated and generally disliked by most of the group for various reasons. you've already been stressing about the situation and then you (most likely) see something that just makes you freak out (the card key motive). so, you've admittedly become a bit erratic. there isn't really anyone to reel you in either.

your almost-ally is very doing worse than you though. she's clearly losing it. it doesn't take long for you to figure out that she's planning to murder you. you wouldn't call eachother friends but this still probably feels like betrayal. or maybe you're just frustrated that despite everything - the remote control, the electro hammers and bombs, the bugvac - everything you've trusted her to build and she still thinks that murder is the better option. okay, fuck you too then.

most of your classmates are stupid or complacent or both. they've mostly stopped thinking for themselves and would rather leave everything to the detective. who, to be fair, isn't incompetent but it has been incredibly frustrating to watch how easily he's swept up in that one idiots empty platitudes. logic alone should get them through these trials - acting on emotions is dangerous. (the irony probably isn't lost on you but you've always been upfront about being a hypocrite. so whatever.)

you want to teach those idiots a lesson. blindly believing in people will get them killed. so, you come up with a plan that could perhaps be compared to a bowline knot - very sturdy but also very easy to unravel.

you've already decided on your main piece - in fact he's been begging, genuinely begging to be used since the beginning but especially lately. so, befitting to your title, you shall make use of him.

(it's his own fault for being so gullible and kind. you've been telling him - everyone but especially him - that he's gonna get himself killed like this. this is a killing game, why won't anyone accept this reality already?? why won't anyone heed his warnings? but most people are unable to seperate the words from the person who's saying them.)

her plan is easy to usurp - in fact it takes care of the important things. the other pieces are set up in a way that would make it impossible for them to commit the crime you are planning. you and your sacrifice are the only pieces left. her intended advantage over you is ironically what will protect you.

things go smoothly. for the most part, anyway.

you might've underestimated just how much the detective dislikes you, is what you think as he doesn't give your proposition even a single thought before he leaves. oh well, you've never been one to easily give up.

you force yourself into the role of his partner. your nerves are definitely strung high at this point but you tell yourself that it's all just part of the game. so you continue to push everyones buttons. you needle and twist the knife wherever possible. (it's just a game. it's just a game. it's just a game.) nobody has any sympathy left for you at this point. it's okay, it's all part of your long term strategy anyway. (perhaps one could argue that you've been dealt awful cards from the beginning but is that really an excuse?)

you lead the trial, you make sure that they're doing things in the right order and that they won't miss a thing. it needs to be uncovered in this way because otherwise they won't listen to the evidence anymore. if they shall act like children, then you shall talk to them as if they are.

the first part of the trial moves along sluggishly but atleast all the facts of the crime are now laid open. all they need to do at this point is to use the process of elimination, really.

the detective looks at you uneasily. time for the fun part! questions and accusations fly around the room, it's about what you expected.

and then the detective lies. he's done this before. everyone believes him over you. that's to be expected. but something inside you cannot forgive this hypocrisy today. so you decide to be cruel and rip off the band aid.

chaos. disbelief. objections!

it could've been so fun. if it wasn't for your unwilling partner in crime to be completely dumbfounded - not because he's been betrayed but.. because he doesn't seem to know what you're talking about? huh? huh?

you thought at first that maybe this was just his last effort to try to get away with it. but he seems so genuine. you can't detect a lie but clearly what he is saying cannot be true. it cannot be. he's got to be lying. which means that you've underestimated him. you've been played. your classmates are clamoring to defend him. he will get away with this. he can't- it wasn't supposed to go that way. they will all vote for you. all because they believe in him hahahhaha no no no no nonononononono

he doesn't remember. ah. that makes sense.

you're still agitated and you feel as if you're about to snap.

you and the detective leave no holes in the explanation. it's a simple process of elimination - you've made sure of that after all.

the despair on your classmates faces is apparent. your sacrifice accepts his fate. you can't handle this. it's all too much. why did you do this? why? why? why? everyones badgering you. the look on his face- his voice- and despite everything he still cared about you. you stupid awful disgusting horrible miserable monster. nobody will ever forgive you for this. you knew that. perhaps you didn't think it would hurt so bad though.

gontas last wish will never come true. the very least you can do is to not let his death go to waste.

so it's double down or nothing.

#kokichi ouma #ouma kokichi #maybe one day i'll rewrite this

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yvtro · 2 years

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You said something about Eastern European Armand hcs? Expand on that please, I'm so curious!

this took me so long because i have *so* many and it was hard to be selective and not make it into an essay. here are some that i think still work good within canon (there's lots of stuff that is more contemporary and better for non-vampiric aus, but that's a whole another topic)

i am positive that armand's native language is early ruthenian. he would also definitely know old church slavonic. as for modern times, i'm sure he would be interested in learning ukrainian, and be very obsessed about his duolingo streak.

andrei might not be even armand’s first name. (not a well known fact but) slavic people used to give their newborns temporary names for the time of their childhood, and only give them “proper” names when they were old enough to make sure they will survive. plus, well, andrei is a western name, while the child name he had would probably be a traditional slavic name (which were not looked kindly upon by the churches because they were “pagan”)

armand would be a great host, which is something that also relates to his habit of creating safe spaces for the ones he loves. hospitality is perhaps the best preserved tradition in the region, and people are *very* serious about it. eastern europeans will clean their houses for hours just because someone told them they will drop in for a cup of tea, and then proceed to apologise to the guest for its "terrible" state ("it's like an actual brothel here, i'm so sorry" is the phrase my mother uses lmao). and no matter you came for a tea, you will get a 3 courses meal. the food part is of course something doesn't work for vampires, but i think all the seriousness and formality of being a host can remain. (also, you might be best friends/family with your host and they might logically know their house won't offend your sensitivites and that you don't care for being served like nobility – doesn't matter. it's an imperative)

complaining without realising that it has cultural significance. complaining in ee is a matter of small talk, you complain for sport, or for no reason at all, and if there's nothing to complain about, you invent something for this purpose. and usually no hard feelings are attached to it; it's a way of bonding with people (and talking about nice stuff in your life or around you feels a bit like bragging tbh.) i like to think armand will find something to complain about at all times without realising people around him believe he *actually* finds it disagreeable. he would tell daniel 5-star hotels they are staying at are *terrible*, the weather is dreadful whatever it is, people around are too loud or too quiet, this movie is *so* bad (no, don't turn it off, he's enjoying it), the instructor at a night class they went to was incompetent and annoying (yes, they are going to the next one, what kind of question) etc.

there exists a popular assumption that people who smile for no reason are either stupid, insane, or on drugs. the amount of times my family/friends directed my attention to a person who walked down the street smiling just to say "what is wrong with them"– i think armand would absolutely do that. daniel, what is wrong with this human. what are they so happy about? answer me.

offering things. i don't think most people think about it (i do as an immigrant, because the cultural difference still confuses me at times) but if someone offers you something it is polite to refuse at first and kinda go back at forth, but ultimately you *need* to accept whatever they want to do for you. i think because of that armand would come off as forceful when giving people stuff, which goes well with "devil's minion." like, daniel might say he doesn't want something, but that's just a thing people say, so he will nag about it and daniel *will* receive whatever it is. this point is literally canon tho, i just like to think it has a bit more cultural significance to it.

#answered #armand #vc

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pandaemoanium · 4 months

Text

random vent under the cut about using english as a non-native speaker

a lot of the time i feel very self-conscious whenever i speak or write in english. even though i'm not *bad* at english i can still feel the language barrier holding me back at times. the way i talk and write can be very stiff and it really sticks out, at least to me, and it sometimes makes me feel very stupid.

i can feel the lack of vocabulary and skills hindering my ability to show how i truly feel or think in certain situations and it's frustrating as hell. i know i'm not an idiot. i know that in finnish i'm (usually) a pretty smart person, but in english i sometimes feel like a fucking toddler trying to get a simple point across. the way i talk can also be very awkward because i have to pause *a lot* to find the right words, and i can just *feel* my brain buffering like a fucking youtube video trying to keep up with what i'm trying to say. having to translate everything in your head on the spot can get very exhausting. add chronic anxiety and somewhat lacking social skills into the mix and oh god oh fuck i feel like i can't communicate with people at all sometimes

i use english every single day, most days even more than finnish, whether it's being online scrolling through tumblr or reading articles etc, playing video games, watching shows and movies, chatting with my american boyfriend or my online friends from all around the world. even the UI on my phone/game consoles/etc is in english. i constantly try to improve in hopes of being able to say that i've become "fluent" in english or whatever but idk, i feel like i've hit my skill cap a long time ago and i just can't get any better and it frustrates me so much. i just want to be able to convey my feelings and thoughts as clearly as possible but so much of it seems to quite literally get lost in translation. i hate feeling incompetent and stupid aaaaaaaaaaaaa

i don't think i have the energy to even start talking about how the way i speak english as a non-native speaker can be really weird to a native speaker because of the way i was taught british english but i've also learned american english through media etc and how bc of that i've picked up words and phrases from all over the place so my english is just a weird amalgamation of british mixed with american english from all over the country

i had a point in all this but i forgot abt it a long time ago so this turned into a random vent post lol, thanks for coming to my ted talk i guess

#it's nothing serious. just something that's been on my mind for a lil while #personal

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slow-button-off · 2 years

Note

Sure Max won on merit like he won on merit in AD...

Such a gifted driver, being gifted two championships! Really a record breaker!

Honestly, brilliant ask! You must be new here.

Did you by any chance read the header of my blog that was staring you in the face when you decided to send this ask? Because it let you know what sorta answer you're gonna get.

Also just for the record to anyone else that sees this and feels the need to air their feelings about this: I am still a Ferrari fan! And none of you have to like Max but that has zero influence on his achievements and talents as a driver!

So you are here talking about merit and as you decided not to reply to my question of what makes a driver worthy of winning a championship I am going to assume that you agree with me there.

Was the SC in Abu Dhabi a huge cluster fuck? YES!

Does that somehow make Max an unworthy wdc? NO!

The FIA being as incompetent as they are does not remove Max performances that season. And he surely wasn't "gifted" the championship as if he didn't have to work his arse off to get it.

The combination of car and driver always has to be right because nobody is going to win in a shitbox. But to me a "worthy" champion is someone who got the best out of the car and who had great performances and to a certain extent made the least amount of mistakes.

And that was Max last season! I know a lot of people have this idea of Lewis that he never makes mistakes but he did last season. That doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to win either but Max performances were in that respect better last season imo.

And Max even got unlucky with his tyre exploding in Baku when he was on for a win. I will not talk about Copse again but that also happened. But Lewis had "better luck" because he didn't have a mechanical DNF.

Last season Max was the better driver and therefore the argument of him being "gifted" anything is stupid.

And let's talk about this season. In what way is he getting the championship gifted this season?

RB built a rocket ship was he supposed to tell the engineers to make it slower because only then would a random person on the internet validate his achievements?

Is he supposed to go up to the Ferrari strategy department and sort them out because for some reason in your mind he is responsible for that and Ferrari shitting it sometimes means he is being gifted a title?

Or is he supposed to develop the reliability upgrade for the Ferrari engine?

Is he supposed to tell the Mercedes engineers how they have to fix their car so he has more opposition?

He has been driving great this season and has the best car and team atm but that is hardly something to hold against him!

As if Lewis didn't have the best car+team in all the years he won the title. That's how you win! That's how F1 works! you need the right team and the right car and then the right performances and Max just has all that this season but he is still being "gifted" a title? Lewis even had an insanely OP car in a few seasons, but you aren't complaining about that are you?

If so then multiple of Lewis titles were gifted to him.

And just in case anyone wants to bring up team orders. All teams use team orders when drivers are on different strategy or the guy behind is much faster. And some of you either chose to forget or weren't watching when Merc were the worst offenders of team orders on the whole grid.

Mercedes were using team orders all the time even if there was no tyre strat difference and when Lewis had a massive lead in the wdc. He's always been let past Bottas so team orders is a non argument.

So by your own definition of being "gifted" a title we'd need to take some titles off of Lewis too. But that's a conversation you are not ready for.

Like Lewis, be upset about whatever you want to be upset about. But why are you in my inbox spewing this bullshit.

Lewis deserves his wins and Max deserves his.

Max is a fantastic driver with great team in a great car and your salty-ness isn't gonna change that!

#📨

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