Have you seen the recent Adam driver interview re: redeemed Ben solo never being part of the original plans? Apparently JJs idea as pitched to Adam was 'reverse Vader' who begins the trilogy all uncertain and vulnerable and becomes super evil by the third film 😂 considering the mess that was duel of the fates, I'm not surprised. Adam said he was still 'focused' on JJs original arc even though it changed over shooting. Which is baffling to me, because even in TFA you can't seriously believe this character could go stone cold uber sinister. It's terrible how so many good things in the sequel trilogy are there in spite of tptb, not because of them!

I haven't and honestly at this point I don't even want to hear anything else about what a complete fucking shitshow of stupidity and sociopathy this whole production was.

The idea that TFA isn't setting up a redemption is so absurd to me that I'm not even going to entertain it. I don't believe that even JJ is that incompetent, and his commentary plus TROS indicates that he did absolutely understand that Ben must be reclaimed despite his total disregard for the themes and message of SW. So whatever Adam was talking about, I don't know, and I'm not going to listen to this interview to try to figure it out because I'm tired. Maybe he's referring to the earliest ideas where Kylo Ren wasn't the same person as Han and Leia's child?

But in that case I just cannot imagine why they wanted to cast him in that role.

Leaving aside that the entire concept of a 'reverse Vader' is the stupidest shit I've ever heard, because that was a) literally the prequel trilogy, b) antithetical to SW as anything other than a prelude to a subsequent redemption, and c) SO FUCKING BORING. I know this isn't the first time Adam has mentioned this, but it only sounds more stupid the more clear he makes it that they mean 'the opposite of the ending of RotJ'. Which is just 'the ending of every fucking American action movie fucking ever'. Like putting a 'spin' on Vader by having him NOT REDEEM HIMSELF is just called 'being like everyone else' and 'taking away literally the most compelling thing about Vader'.

I need these boring, unimaginative HACKS to fuck off. Like, the idea that JJ's pitch for TFA was 'worse, more boring, less visually creative, less meaingful, more shallow remake of ANH but also we will ruin the heart and soul of the story and make it like all the libertarian slop it literally existed in order to stand against'.

LIKE JAIL FOR THIS MAN. JAIL!

I saw someone say that it's also come out that the reylo connection was Kasdan's idea, which I feel vindicated by bc I've been saying I bet it was forever. But again, JJ was on board for it and knew what he was doing with the imagery in TFA. He is not so incompetent that he didn't understand he was creating romantic subtext. And text.

But like, I'm just so done with these fucking people. That ANYONE at that company much less apparently EVERYONE?? thought it was remotely acceptable to use SW to tell the story of any character whatsoever who was humanised and sympathetic and relatable to children falling into darkness and becoming ''''''irredeemable'''''' MUCH LESS the LAST SKYWALKER, the HOPE AND HAPPY ENDING OF ROTJ, HAN AND LEIA'S LOVE, PADMÉ'S LOVE, the atonement and reconciliation of Darth Vader is just FUCKING BANANAPANTS to me.

George Lucas should fight these people in an alley.

I AM SO UNWELL

Seriously it's been over a year. Get me off this ride already.

why can’t i just write all the cool scenes that are funny and heartwrenching and amazing and i can envision them perfectly in vivid details in my head and that were the inicial inspiration for the fic and i absolutely adore them and just call it a day? why do i have to bother with such lowly, plebeian things as exposition, cohesion, comprehension and fully developing a plot (even if it’s all already fully in my head and it’s amazing and wonderful and i want this fics to exist but nobody else writes them)?? can’t people just enjoy the juicy scenes and let me transmit the rest of my ideas directly to their brains so they can understand the context?? so then i have to struggle through the parts that aren’t as thought-through and don’t tickle my adhd brain as much and just lose interest and motivation completely.

i have almost forty fics in my notes and not ONE of them is finished. i even thought about just posting some of the cool blurbs here, but most of them just trail off mid-sentence and i know where i was going with this but i just can’t bring myself to finish them?? and then i want to weep and scream, because some of them are actually really well-written and i ADORE the ideas in them, but i’m powerless to actually try and do something with them.

like, one time i actually wrote a whole ass PLAN for a huge fic (can you IMAGINE?) i was really excited about writing and then i didn’t even finish the first chapter. at this point i would hire a person to write fics from my ideas so that i could go through them and redact everything to my liking and actually SHARE my ideas with the fair ao3 folks. but i don’t have nearly enough money, so- (and i would never be fully satisfied with anybody else’s work on my ideas, so who am i even kidding?)

Work has been making me depressy, which means i will get another gust of energy for writing. Which means new stories or finally new chapters. Love that my mental illness goblin kind of has a schedule to let me write

i hate my stupid baka life

there’s no joy anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

I WAS WRITING AND THE INTERNET DIED. I COULDNT SAVE WHAT I WROTE

HEY TEDBECCAS WHO ELSE AFRAID FOR TONIGHT??!!!

i was like "why am i feeling so bad and emotionally exhausted" and then realized it's fucking december.

if i deactivated my blog and never wrote again then what

if i'm sparse or less engaged ooc just know that it's not bc i hate you/don't want to talk, the chronic headaches from a procedure i had last year have returned and i am just so miserable i want to scream 🥲

the fact that i still haven't gotten my last assignment graded yet bc of the easter holidays is so fucked up like u couldn't take 5 minutes out of ur day to give me a solid 60% so i wouldn't be spending every day in agony

Well, maybe there is some things about your take that should be reflected on as well? Because you readily accepted that Jungkook could have had a fling with Nain based on barely any information and very limited insight. And yet with all the things that have happened between Jimin and Jungkook that are highly suspicious your doubt margin is much higher.

There was an ear sucking incident, a hickey, Jungkook looking at Jimin like he's lost in the eyes of the love of his life at the MMA 2018. Confronted with this, you maintain doubts, which I get, we can't really know what went on. But then Jungkook praises a female dancer on social media and you think there might've been something there. You see what I mean?

It seems you kind of tend to the side of thinking Jungkook may be straight. And that is possible. But in this realm of possibilities and the situations we have in front of us isn't it MUCH more likely that Jimin and Jungkook had fling than Nain and Jungkook?

Oh my god. Maybe read the ask that started this all because you’re obviously cherry picking what I’ve said on this matter. I entertained both possibilities with the information given to me and never concretely agreed with either, just as I entertain different possibilities as they pertain to Jikook when it’s relevant. Most of the shipping community are already saying what they think makes them real; I only offer alternate perspectives. I’m not going to explain why I do this because there is an ask posted just yesterday that dives into it. And just because I don’t think something is true between them doesn’t mean I’m dismissing what everyone else is saying.

“It seems you kind of tend to the side of thinking Jungkook may be straight.”

Again with the assumptions. Actually, no I don’t. In fact, I don’t even think about their sexual leanings. I have answered plenty of asks on my thoughts about this. Men, women, trees, aliens, I do not care who or what they like.

The last time I was sick was 3 years ago when I was down with Covid, a very mild case.

I came home with a cold from the wedding. I want to punch a hole in my sinuses to drain the freaking pressure. I'm continually trying to cough up a lung. Drugs only do so much.

Being sick sucks on so many levels.