#also the soul of JUSTICE losing all of their EMPATHY and EMOTION?? when that is the very basis of them? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brewingcoffi · 5 months

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UNDERTALE: YELLOW ‘REVIVED! CLOVER’ AU

PART 1

Explanation:

AS WE CAN TELL BY THE CUTSCENES, THAT DYING WITHOUT A SOUL ISNT IMMEDIATE. but slowly, it sorta drains away your energy, but seeing that Clover was literally hunched down during Floweys speech before having ENOUGH energy to drag themselves to position their last death place shows how REALLY strong Clover is. So, assuming that they DIDNT immediately passed away after they positioned themselves for prob a few last breath minutes really made me think.

What if Flowey decided to still keep Clover? They were ‘pals’ Yeah. Flowey decided to let them rest… BBBBBut, what if before Clover used their last breath. Floweys forced a TINY ounce of his determination into them. Making Clover a sort of a walking dying corpse.

Nevertheless, since it is shown that Clover has enough energy to drag themselves without their soul. In their now revived state, they can do simple movements by themselves. It’s just their legs can't balance anymore due to a lack of soul energy, so Flowey helps them with their balance and movements by being their support via using Vines as body strings.

Flowey and Them DO meet Frisk at some point,

Clover genuinely looks so tired which make sense because they literally got their energy sucked out after they lost their soul. Clover now has to drink ANY energy giving drinks or they barely functions for 2 hours (Forced to drink coffee.)

Character Info:

Clover & Flowey

Due to Clover's SOUL already being taken Encased in a capsule (Takes places during OG Undertale.)

Flowey mostly ‘Helps’ with their movements since without a soul, their control over their body are VERY WEAK. Revived! Clover can’t do Shit. Only thinks and blinks (But has enough energy to speak simple words.) of course, they can move their arms with any leftover weak energy. but it will never be enough to resists Flowey's control over their movement and actions.

I also wanted to add a detail that the vines will extend more rapidly and secure/support more, depending on what body part(s) Clover is going to use more effortly just incase of Clover was caught in a fight.

Qna questions that are answered for the lore of this AU:

Question 1. You think the lack of a soul might cause empathy/emotion issues like with flowey? Imagine flowey teaching clover to cope with it.

Answer:

“The answer is, Yeah! But, I have a feeling or a (hc of course) that it still has same affect upon losing your soul, slowly but surely. It would take Clover a few days or maybe one month in the underground to suddenly lose their concept of emotions, since like what happened after they lost their soul.

But Clover probably "tries' to hold onto their emotions to as long as possible, to make sure they don't ended up like flowey (I like to think that they slowly soon starts to act semi-like their genocide counterpart; ruthless and bold.)”

Question 2. Wondering how their friends would interact with how... "kind of alive" their body is. Or heck, how they and their friends would interact with the undertale cast.

Before the aftermath, how would Clover "kind-of live" in the underground? With all of the emotionlessness consuming their days, would they act like some kind of cryptid since they don't want their friends to see them as this... soulless shell.

Answer:

1.) I bet they would interact with Clover by treating them like a glass child (Which would start A LOT of conflicts, especially when the side effect of being soulless could affect their moral Justice as well.), and for the UT cast, it depends on your idea!

2.) Clover went into hiding and lived off caffeine and energy drinks(Or leftover food from their inventory.) But, Flowey being their pal would probably give them food if they don't, And Yeah! Clover became this ‘Cryptic entity’ that tends to lurk around where ‘Injustice or corruption’ happens. I like to see Clover, before the emotionlessness began; Was that Clover USED to be this ‘Peacekeeper’ vigilante. Relating to them acting like this ‘Cryptic’ due to them. Even in OG Undertale, I like to imagine that Clover appears for a short period of time and disappears from Frisk point of view(Like that Flowey Easter egg from the OG UT.)

Question 3. does clover tell flowey what limb or does flowey just know?

Answer:

Well, they used The first one, but until a few days or weeks, they’ve gotten used to it, so Flowey now just knows.

4. What exactly WAS flowey's plan for Clover

Answer:

The only logical and ‘in-character’ thought I had of Flowey’s plan; was that Flowey was going to use Clover against or perhaps use Clover as bait/trick the last human child, and help kill King Asgore. Which backfired.

And I also realized that Clover no longer has their Gun, so I wanted to give Clover a weapon to help ppl while also defending themselves. (Clover is used to range, so they probably suck-ass on melee weapons.)

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onp4012 · 1 year

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Pick a Card: What’s your role in this lifetime?

Choose one of the pictures in the image and then scroll down to see what your role is in this lifetime!

Please like and reblog 〽️

©onenormalperson4012

here’s the masterlist

Pile 1

9S, Emperor, Death, KNOP, QOS, 3P, 9C, Lovers

The people who choose this pile probably have been forced to grow up or mature themselves from a very young age. I feel like life has been giving you a hard time ever since the beginning and you have met a lot of change during your upbringing. Life didn’t seem so stable after a while, did it? I see that your role in this lifetime is to be strong and independent and learn from all of your mistakes. In this lifetime you should be faced with many changes and challenges to further develop your soul. I feel like you will also be forced to develop your more earthly senses. If you choose this pile there’s a chance that you may have mainly earth placements or not have earth placements at all, in which case you will need to develop a more grounded sense and perspective. You are meant to become a strong and stable individual. I can also see that you were forced to become a very very logical person and you had to ignore your feelings.

I’m getting girlboss vibes from this pile. I feel like most of you who have chosen this pile would like to work in finances or want to work as some sort of leader. I can see that you have the leadership qualities but I am not sure if all of you will want this type of responsibility. I’m getting a very serious vibe from you. You are meant to accomplish great things in this lifetime and I see that the universe/God has been trying to send you messages that this is what you should pursue. Some of you may fear this type of commitment but just so you know, God doesn’t give you more than you can carry. I see a lot of happiness and stability in your life around the age of 30.

Pile 2

Hermit, 8S, 10C, KOC, 5S, Justice, QOP, 4C

First thing I heard when I shuffled was “First place you”, so perhaps many of you tend to put others’ needs above yours because of insecurities. I get that most of you who has chosen this pile are very emotional people who tend to seek constant validation or always feel like they are a victim because your efforts are almost never reciprocated. I feel like you might’ve grown up to be a people pleaser and got used to the feeling of being worthy and enough for the people around you. It’s like you’ve constantly sought love and tried to please in order to receive that love. You are quite a compassionate person, gotta be honest.

You seem very empathetic and people have used you for your empathy and your mercy so you might feel a little bit lost. I get that your role in the lifetime is to start putting yourself in first place and stop being a people pleaser or if you want to keep being one, assert some limits. You have to acknowledge that you are your own person, and realize that you have your own life and others are responsible for their own lives. You are not their mother, neither their guardian. I also feel like you have been searching for answers, and that you have probably watched countless pick a card readings on YouTube or Tumblr only to find an answer. The reason you’re feeling lost is because you have started to lose your self identity by putting other people first. You can see how I keep on telling you this, but I feel like no matter how much I tell you that you need to change this. I still feel the need to tell you once again. PUT. YOURSELF. FIRST. While I was looking at the picture for this pile I heard the word “Help” so I guess it’s pretty self explanatory.

Pile 3

10S, 4W, 8P, 9C, AOC, Fool, Empress, Hermit

I was looking at the cards just now and I thought about like you know those times when you are feeling very down and you just pray that things are going to be good again and somehow you end up distracting yourself with something very pleasant, so you just forget about that bad thing. This is the vibe that is pile gives me. I feel like those who have chosen this pile need to learn that pain is something you cannot just ignore but you have to go through and eventually remember that you have things in life which can help you get over that specific pain. I want you to know that you are able to get over pain by yourself and you do not need anything else but yourself. You are a strong person and you can overcome everything. You’re on this lifetime seems to be that you are able to forgive, and you should forgive those who have done you wrong.

I also feel like your role in this lifetime is also to help people heal faster and enjoy their stay on earth as much as you enjoy yours. I feel like most of you are usually very optimistic people and you prefer to see the good and bad and just enjoy and just work through it but the same time also feel like you’re kind of conflicted. It’s like you don’t even trust yourself and it’s just sad because you have a lot to offer and you should realize how much happiness you can bring others how much love you can teach. Your role in this lifetime, could also be that you will have to be some sort of teacher to those who are very down and teach them how to see the world less scary when they are in pain. So yeah, I think this is your role in this lifetime. You need to learn this lesson in order to be able to help others as well, so you can accomplish this one role

Pile 4

Judgement, POS, 9W, Hanged Man, KNOP, Magician, KOP, High Priestess

Those who have chosen this pile, will need to establish a healthy connection with the divine and develop their spiritual side. I have to be honest I pretty much see in this reading that most of you who have chosen this pile tend to have this envious side, which is caused by the feeling of worthlessness. Alright, I feel like most of you are probably already involved with spirituality or with occult or religion., so I guess we can talk about the fact that you need to start trusting your gut instinct and your intuition. Your role in this lifetime is to keep being spiritual or dive even deeper than you have already have. Manifestation comes very easily to you I see, especially physical manifestation. You will accomplish great things in this life with the help of the divine so keep on manifesting and wishing big, because it’s working.

Because of your good deeds, you will get to feel content and happy. I see that karma goes very hard for you guys, so please don’t curse or do anything negative because it will come back even harder (I don’t feel like many of you are witches who practice black magic, but still). I also see that in this lifetime you are also meant to be materially blessed and happy financially. The king of pentacles kept on trying to get out of the deck and he usually signifies very prosperous people so this could mean that you will need to become this prosperous archetype. You’ve got what it takes to become what you need to become, just trust the universe and you’ll see. Don’t worry too much about it.

Pile 5

Judgement, POS, QOC, World

Goddamn, first two cards were also in the previous pile. You might wanna check Pile 4 before reading this. I feel like those who have chosen this pile will need to focus on their knowledge and become the best possible version of themselves. This pile will need to learn what auto control really is and start accepting their responsibilities and realize that no one will do their work for them. This pile has a lot of potential, but they also need to work hard.. I feel like those will have chosen this pile need to connect to their femininity and masculinity and try to balance those two things out. I see that you are very passionate people, and that you were very gifted intellectually, but you have to realize that you need to step in to your femininity as well.

Feel your emotions. Trust your instincts don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Be curious to explore things and don’t be afraid of life. You are meant to become a strong individual and be an example for others, so do not be any less of an example. Be happy and enjoy life. This is what you need to be in this lifetime. Learn how to balance energies within yourself out and try being more receptive to your own feelings.

Thank you for being here❤️

#tarot #tarot community #pick a card #pac #tarot cards #onenormalperson4012 #pick a picture #astrology #romania #pick an image #tarot future spouse #tarot future reading #future spouse #future reading #spirit index #spiritualguidance #spiritualjourney #spiritualhealing

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resonancewitness · 2 months

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witnessing resonance, part 3: holding on to what's important

what do I mean when I call myself a witness of resonance? continuing from here and here

and the third layer of meaning of witnessing, the last one for me (so far?)

here I am going to dare to go out on a limb and give words to some experiences that in the modern world often seem to be much more taboo for discussion than the experiences of kinky sexuality (but I don’t have data, so maybe I am wrong :))

I am going to talk about witnessing something precious as a

personal non-religious spiritual practice in a secular world

I need to make a disclaimer that I do not assume that participating in any fandom or in this particular fandom may have such meaning for other participants, I am talking only about myself, using writing to make sense of my own experience

because not talking about it is subjecting myself to silencing as a form of self-oppression, and for the sake of what? I would need a valid reason to self-silence

anyway, back to definitions

I would call “spiritual” any practice of maintaining connection with the important values and principles that are not obvious and not very common in the everyday world

say, I want to believe in love that goes beyond distance, or in going strong against the current when it would be so much easier, in a certain practical sense, to give up and just drift along, or in justice and nobility, in human decency, mercy and empathy, — and, say, I don’t see many examples of these in my everyday surroundings, especially when I read the news

I would need special practices to keep re-connecting with these values that are so important to me

I consider the situation when people lose hope, perspective, sense of direction, persistence, and strength to go on, to be a spiritual crisis. “the dark night of the soul”

this can be also accompanied by a feeling of profound isolation

the practices of re-connecting with hope, perspective, sense of direction, persistence and strength to go on I will be calling spiritual practices. they are also recreating a sense of connection and belonging

as Casper ter Kuile says in “The Power of Ritual”, anything can be a spiritual practice if it is done with intention, attention and repetition

everybody is capable of feeling awe, the emotion that accompanies meeting with something vast and mysterious, unconceivable in ordinary circumstances (“…how are you even real, sir?..”)

when I come to the turtledom for my daily dose of beauty, inspiration and awe, I experience some sort of a boost that helps me reconnect to the values that are important to me, and I become more capable of continuing to do what I consider important in circumstances that, from a rational perspective, do not look too promising

…if they can, I can, right?.. albeit, of course, I possess less resources, but neither do I aim that high nor are the demands on me that intense.

so, now to the Quakers. when George Fox formulated their mission in the 1600s, it sounded like this: “Walking through the world cheerfully, responding to that of God in every person in such a way that the person will feel blessed and you will feel the blessings”.

One of the central values (they call them testimonies) of the Quakers is honesty/ integrity: you have the right / and sometimes the duty to speak about what is true in your experience. If you met God personally in your experience, you speak of it, if you didn’t, you don’t. Easy :) Thus one can be a Quaker, but not a Christian (albeit here can be different opinions, but we’ll set them aside).

but “that of God in every person” is something that we respond to with awe; amazing talent, giftedness, moral beauty in all its forms: courage, kindness, mercy, steadfastness etc.

when I say that as a turtle I am witnessing something precious, it means that I also speak of what I see that is for me “that of God”, without implying any religious connotations

what touches and inspires me today? how can I witness/ testify about it in such a way that it might also touch and inspire others and give them hope and strength to persevere? and in such a way that I would feel (the energy of) the blessings?

bringing together all three layers of meaning, what touches me most in what I experience when I follow yizhan’s expressions of their preferred identities, is what I interpret as something intangible and related to maintaining hope and persistence when the road ahead is long, and the outcome uncertain; the feeling of purity and “dirt doesn’t stick to the pure ones”; something that makes me think of magic, mysticism and out-of-the-ordinary-world quality of the connection.

I am aware that it is my personal need for this that focuses my attention in this manner

but I am very grateful that at this moment in my life I found something that feeds and supports me in such a way

#yizhan #witnessing something precious #bjyxszd #sacred reading of visual texts #how reconstructing an untold story transforms us?#resonance #finding ourselves in their story #awe #awe inspiring #moral beauty #values #spirituality #quaker

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queeenpersephone · 2 years

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When Mulder says "I'm fine ... free" GOD !!!!! PLEASE SCULLY JUST GO KISS HIM AT LEAST ON THE FORHEAD !!! I love this man so much 😫❤️ also the music is so deep and poignant I feel like that's the rhythm of mulder's sorrow and freedom at finding out about Samantha's death. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this closing scene

BRO I KNOW RIGHT!! okay i'm gonna be real with you and say i literally had to go back and rewatch (i usually do with the mytharc post s5, tbh) but it is a really beautiful moment. i'm one of those people that liked that samantha was "found" (for mulder's healing) but hated the context - the plot for this ep just breezed right over my head. so i don't really feel too qualified to give you any sort of meta other than david duchovny did a great job with what he was given - he played that lightness/gravity combination perfectly. HOWEVER. a kiss on the forehead we deserved. or..

Scully stands behind Mulder as they watch Piller stalk off into the distance. She doesn't know what happened to Mulder. She prides herself in her ability to keep up with him, but the past few days have felt like a rollercoaster.

What she does know: he sees this man and sees himself, fighting for justice and begging to be believed. And she knows Mulder wants to help him, the way he wants to help every pained, silenced soul, though he knows there is no remedy for losing an innocent soul to something beyond belief.

But what he now thinks happened to Samantha? Scully knows with a deep, hesitant relief that this is something that Mulder can believe. And she wants that for him, more than anything else.

But, for all her knowledge of him, seven years and countless hospital beds and tender moments between them, she cannot imagine what knowledge of Samantha's fate will do to him. He might crumble, laugh, lash out in pain at the finality of closure. But if she knows anything, it's that no matter his response, she has to at least try to comfort him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Her voice is shaky, uncertain, a direct contrast to the surprisingly steady set of his shoulders as his knowing eyes watch Piller. She curses her vulnerability. She needs to be strong, to hold them both up, to not get lost in the endless what-ifs regarding where they go from here. For better or worse, Samantha has been a ghost, walking a step behind them for nearly a decade. The unspoken member of the X-Files. Mulder's raison d'être.

He hums for a moment, looking for words. She can tell that without looking at his face. "I'm fine," he says, again, steady, and she feels a frustrated pang of empathy for him, for all the times she hid from him with the same words.

She's about to reach out and touch him, push him to open up - she's unapologetically greedy for his emotional intimacy - when he suddenly cranes his neck to the sky. "I'm free," he croaks out, finally breaking a little, and she takes a step forward-

Only for him to spin on his heel and bend at the knees, clamping his arms around her waist and lifting her clean off her feet against him. She squeaks a little at the change in altitude, wrapping one arm around his neck, guiding his head into the space between her neck and shoulder with the other.

"Mulder," she gasps, but she stops. She's still not sure what he wants from her. Their bodies settle against each other, the familiar firmness of his chest against her curves, both of them radiating warmth.

"Scully," he rasps against the sensitive skin below her ear. "She's dead."

"I'm so sorry, Mulder," she whispers, tears forming in her eyes. "This isn't the outcome either of you deserve." And she means that, with her whole soul, more than she means her FBI oath or her prayers in church. She's saved up so much devotion for him, and it all comes spilling out.

"I miss Sam," he says, "I miss my mom, Scully."

"I'm sorry," she repeats.

He holds her so tightly it's almost hard to breathe, but she doesn't dare complain. "I'm the last of the Mulders," he admits. "But I still feel free." She hears the self-recrimination, hates that terrible feeling: she will always want to hurt what's hurting him, but too often, he hurts only himself.

She cards her fingers through his soft hair, smiling sadly when he nudges into her at the sensation. "That's okay, Mulder."

He lets out a long sigh, further molding them together. "Scully - can you. Just once -" He stops, swallowing hard, like he's suddenly shy.

"Anything," she encourages, readjusting her grip on him. She's starting to slip.

He pauses for a long moment. "Scully, I want to be Mulder to you. For the rest of my life. But just - right now - can you -" He stops again, but she understands now.

"It's okay, Fox," she whispers, and his breath hitches. She knows why he asked, knows that his mother was the last person to use it, knows that the pain of that moment needs to be replaced the best way he can manage. Tears dampen her jacket, soaking through to her skin. When she begins to hush him softly, he sniffles before hitching her legs around his waist. It's a familiar move, somehow more intimate despite the fact that they are both still clothed. He seats them both in the tall grasses, wrapped around each other in a way that they usually restrict to either their bedrooms or a well-checked motel room. It feels freeing.

"Scully, you're all I have," he says to her. He treats it as a simple, obvious truth, but the depth of his loneliness makes her hold him all the tighter. "You're all I have anymore-"

She unwinds from him just enough to press their foreheads together, his eyes hidden beneath wet lashes. On impulse, she kisses each tear that streams down his cheeks. It's a heady, overwhelming feeling. To know that she is everything to the man weeping against her. Later, she might worry about it. Now, she resolves to fulfill whatever expectations he might have of her. "I'm here," she murmurs. "I love you, and I'm here."

"Don't leave," he murmurs, as if he's not hearing her, gathering her tighter into his lap. "Please, Scully."

She refuses to let him escape into his head, tilting his chin up and waiting until his eyes flutter open.

"I will not leave you."

The slightly hysterical laughter, the relieved shine to his eyes, the lightness in his shoulders and the heartwrenching pain in the way he repeats her name. All contrary things that make up the man she adores.

He breaks in her arms, and she receives him as she always does: with endless love.

tagging: @today-in-fic

#msr #answered #anonymous #closure #it's a beautiful moment #but i always want more hurt/comfort #idk where the 'fox' thing came from #sorry if you hate that but i felt it here #poor bb #scully x mulder #the x files

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ivyprism · 2 years

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The Group (The Universe Guardians AU)

Trigger Warnings: Gun and knife shown.

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Wendy - The Leader

Personality: A lady who is quiet and calm. She is a daring dreamer and a bit of a pessimist, but she is well-meaning. She believes that with determination and intelligence, she can achieve even the most difficult goals. She is a caring person, and her empathy can be overpowering at times, as she is shown to cry during various stories. When it comes down to it, she's a bit of a bookworm who enjoys her alone time. She is also very creative and enjoys writing when she is alone. She sometimes feels lonely because her brother is so far away from her.

Appearance: She appears to be in her mid to early twenties. Wendy has long dark black hair. Her eyes are a shade of magenta. She's around 5'5". She also has a somewhat skinny frame.

(Purple is the closest I could get to magenta in this~. Picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/167775)

Paige - The Right-hand Man

Personality: He's temperamental and irritable. He's also overly protective of those he cares about, and he'll fight anyone who threatens those he cares about. He has a strong sense of justice and will use it to his advantage if necessary. He has a fiery temper and prefers to avoid people if possible. He also has an unexpected kindness, as children seem to adore him, and he's surprisingly popular with the ladies despite appearing uninterested and unamused the majority of the time. He is incredibly loyal and will never leave his group's side unless absolutely necessary. He's also a fantastic shooter and could spar with Fiona if necessary.

Appearance: He appears to be in his mid to early twenties. He has longish light brown hair and his eyes are a shade of yellow. He's roughly 6'2". He has a muscular figure. He wears an eyepatch on his left eye or covers it with a large chunk of bangs.

(Only brown I could get~. Link: https://picrew.me/image_maker/54346)

Paris - The Healer

Personality: She is best described as a sweet and gentle person with a lot of love to give. She is always enthusiastic about her work and is incredibly bright and kind. She cares about her friends and will reprimand them if necessary. She's a mother-hen who can be forgiving to a point. She and Lillia would get along great. She understands what she needs to do to fight. She isn't afraid to defend herself with a frying pan. She gets along well with all of her teammates. She is extremely empathetic, and her love knows no bounds.

Appearance: She appears to be in her mid to early twenties. She has long brown hair and green eyes. She's roughly 5'6". She has a skinny figure.

(Picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/167775)

Ivey - The Brawn

Personality: Brave and unyielding, yet obstinate and kind. He is a very nice person who enjoys flirting with and teasing his comrades. He's a very intelligent and kind person. He is also the younger brother of Paris. He looks up to his sister, but he also looks up to the people who work so hard to keep the group together. He tries to remain calm and never lose his cool, but he fails miserably because he is a highly emotional person. He occasionally loses his cool and attacks unexpectedly, but he promises he's gotten better at it. He adores and admires his leader as well as Paige, but refuses to admit it.

Appearance: He has brown hair, like his sister, but orange eyes to match his SOUL color. He appears to be in his mid to early twenties. He is extremely muscular and built. He's roughly 5'9".

(Closest to orange I could get~. Link: https://picrew.me/image_maker/54346)

Kacey - The Brains

Personality: She is a very shy and aloof individual. She avoids conversation by either hiding behind Wendy or Ivey. She enjoys reading and can be found doing so the majority of the time. She is the voice of reason as well as a very bright young lady. She devises strategies and assists others whenever possible. She is also extremely kindhearted and despises violence, so she avoids it at all costs. She is more concerned with helping others than with herself. She does, however, constantly worry about her appearance, trying to fix it even when it doesn't need it.

Appearance: She appears to be in her mid to early twenties. She has long well-kept black hair and purple eyes. She stands at about 5'3". She is skinny and petite. She also wears glasses.

(Picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/167775)

Brett - The DPS

Personality: Brett is a shy person who can also be very fierce and protective. She is quiet, mostly due to shyness, but unlike Kacey, she is not afraid to meet new people. She does not hesitate or back down, demonstrating her toughness and bravery. She never backs down and proves to be a very brave person when necessary. Wendy is someone she admires, but she doesn't talk to her very often. She enjoys being around the other DPS, Jamie, and appears to be more confident in her presence. She focuses on helping others and is constantly worrying over them like Paris.

Appearance: She appears to be in her mid to early twenties. She has long blonde hair and cyan eyes. She is roughly 5'2". She is chubby, but somewhat skinny.

(Picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/167775)

Jamie - The Dancing DPS

Personality: She's brilliant and stunning. She is self-assured and never backs down. She has a strong belief in herself and her abilities. She is self-assured, but not conceited. She enjoys reading and writing, as well as assisting anyone who needs it. She is a gentle soul who also happens to be an extrovert. In comparison to her coworkers, she is the one who goes out the most. She works tirelessly to assist anyone in need and is also one of the strongest fighters. Wendy inspires her for unknown reasons. She doesn't back down from a fight and becomes even more fierce when she has to.

Appearance: She looks to be in her mid to early twenties. She has long blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She is roughly 5'5". She is skinny, but also somewhat petite looking.

(Picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/167775)

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@kiokooo / @kiokodoodles

#the outcode skeleton sisters' diner au #undertale au #the Guardians of the Universe AU #human ocs #mage ocs #my old au rewritten #my old au #t.w. gun #t.w. knife

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the-pigeon-queen · 3 years

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I had no idea shadi had an actual character, how was he evil was he potentially working with the big baddies of the show or was it something else?

I’ll try and not get into head cannons or conjecture here, I’ll just give some manga examples and explanations. ^^

Also, I went into probably way too much detail, so my answer is under the cut!

tldr; Shadi has trust issues and doesn’t care how many people he has to dangle off of buildings to get what he wants

But yeah, though the Duel Monsters anime would have ya believe otherwise, Shadi had a personality! Unfortunately that personality is pretty prideful and ruthless. His main emotions boil down to anger, shock, and skepticism, which he displays a lot during his debut.

He claims to not truly feel sadness, ie. upon realizing the idea of friendship is impossible to him, he says;

However, the first time he see his face, he’s crying upon seeing a mummy on display at the museum. So, whether or not he truly lacks empathy or just doesn’t think he possesses any is ?

In the manga, we’re introduced to him while he’s on a mission of revenge/ reckoning. He’s bringing down swift justice on the ‘archeologist’ that raided some tombs. And good on him lol It’s a really cool scene! And we get to see the Scales in action!

He carried over his sense of justice from DSOD :]

Unfortunately it got a bit askew between then and here, because he does go to try and kill a man who didn’t really deserve death, in my opinion. Shadi calls himself a judge but I’m not sure a judge should already have the verdict ready before the trial,,,

So, his personality lends him to being an antagonist. And he’s the first antagonist that can start his own shadow games! He’s the keeper of the Millennium Items, but the puzzle has been lost the duration of his tenure. His trials with Yugi start from a place of curiosity.

But then he loses their initial little match, and while he still wants to see the extent of the Puzzle’s power, he’s definitely also a sore loser and wants a rematch.

He really solidifies himself as an antagonist when he uh, turns an archeologist and Tea into mindless puppets, too. Straight up. He puts Tea in direct danger of falling off a building to her death, just because he wants to test the Yugi’s. Not a good look.

And all of his misdeeds to Yugi and company stem from his inherent lack of trust in others. He thinks friendship is a weakness, Atem proves otherwise, and it blows his mind.

In the end, Shadi accepts his complete defeat, and walks away, muttering about some door that will open some day. And then he comes back at the end of the manga as a good guy. He must’ve done some soul searching during all those duels. He comes back, truly believing that Atem’s friends are the thing that will save the world.

I won’t get into the whole Hasan character shuffle stuff here lol

I think he makes a really interesting antagonist! He had an interesting dynamic with Atem. And I got plenty of headcannons as to why he’s got trust issues lol

I’m not the best at explaining things, so I recommend trying to find the manga online, or if you have like 15 bucks, buying the first volume. It’s an interesting manga - super different from the Duel Monsters anime. And a season 0 fandub is available on youtube, if that’s the only way you can watch it. The dubs I watched were taken down :’0

#yugioh #ygo #shadi shin #long post #ask #yugioh manga #the sad thing is i couldve went into so much more detail #god i really am a shadi stan huh

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swimfuel · 3 years

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okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

#humanstuck #vantas family #.

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shblackeagle · 4 years

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Bring Back Raven DC!

I'm still waiting for a version of Raven ( Live action/animation/comic) to look like her original one

Yes I know it's not her real original but this outfit was classic and badass. I mean...look at her boots! Don't come at me for it!

No more de-aged!Raven! Make her an adult. Kid!Raven is getting very repetitive and worse is that writers can't write her right like that! I'm looking at you dcaum and Titans series and start treating her as an adult! No more 14-to-16-Raven. Give me 18 give me 20! Hell give me 30! Just stop sticking to her child version.

Bring back her powers! She's not just a witch girl who does magical stuff with black energy! She has many powers and writers tend to forget most of them!

Her empathy: before any of you come and give me examples of writers keeping this one, I say I won't be convinced at all. Writers simply are portraying her as someone who at times feel others, and it's mostly limited and she loses that ability at times for plot!

Emotional manipulation: it seems like writers forget about her being able to do that even! Raven manipulated all Titans into making a group and even made Wally fall in love with her! You don't see this ability anymore. It might sometimes get mentioned or she does it once, but then again it's for the plot and when writers don't know what else to do.

Interdimensional travel: Okay this is the most annoying one. Original Raven was able to travel in dimensions SO easily! She would pop in with Titans and suddenly travel into Azarath and in a blink was facing Trigon without breaking a sweat! Now not only she BARELY does that but also is very limited (even making her being not strong enough to travel to another planet let alone another dimension!)

Healing powers: WRITERS STOP IT! Raven was the major healer in NTT, absorbing one's pain in her own body and healing herself after (even though the pain would remain forever in her soul) what's up with writers simply making her a magical girl who would remove pain with no problems? Raven indeed had problems with healing but she kept doing it because she was too good to let anyone be in pain. Do you see such thing in comics/animation/live action anymore? NO!

There are indeed more, might add later

Stop giving her shitty relationships when you just wanna add her into comics or anywhere without knowing what to do with her! Let Raven shine on her own! Let her get into Justice League Dark and discover more of her abilities. Let her discover her maternal heritage more. (I still have never found out about why she was the only exception child to survive and why she's the most powerful of them all!) Dig into her backstory with different view instead of only making be Trigon's daughter. Let her struggle with her unspoken hero life problems and raise above them! Just stop making her just a love interest and then do her dirty! Raven is way above that.

Give her back her cool original outfit (pic above most likely. She was so cool in that) Give her back her big mysterious cloak that no one dared to get into it! Her recent appearance is not really giving me Raven vibe.

I wouldn't mind her long hair either

Give her new nemesises! Stop sticking to her heritage about Trigon and ONLY focus on her when he's involved. She had a very hard history with Slade and Brother Blood. Heck why stop here? Give her new ones that hasn't been done before! (If you can write her well that is)

Last but not the least, TREAT HER RIGHT! Writers these days don't really seem to know Raven enough and destroy her character (ehm dcaum...what the heck was that?) Raven isn't a side character and always had a major effect on any story line she was in. Stop making her a second in command or worse Robin's right hand witch friend. Start knowing her true personality well and then write her!

Please give us back the real Raven!

#I might have ranted but It felt good!#I'm tired of DC doing her dirty!#Raven is way cool to be settled unfairly like that #Raven #Rachel Roth #Raven Roth #DC #dc comics #titans #teen titans #ttg #comics

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cannibalisticapple · 4 years

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Okay, so I have some thoughts on Kurikuri’s decision to delete a large number of her fan fics, and on fan fiction as a whole.

For those who don’t know, Kurikuri (@letaizawarest) is a popular fan fiction author with numerous popular Erasermic fics, along with other fandoms. Around the end of May/start of June she deleted a large number of her stories, specifically those that featured either police, or those set in the My Hero Academia universe where they work as Pro Heroes.

To quote her post:

as you may have noticed, roughly half of the fics on my ao3 have been deleted.

i’ve deleted all my fics about police officers. also, after some thought, i also deleted my non-AU bnha fics, because although they might not be “cops” in name, they are law enforcement. i do not want to be a part of the system that glorifies the police.  

at the moment i haven’t deleted other profession AUs and high school era fics, but i will continue to reflect on their relation to the source material. even if you enjoyed the deleted fics, please do not circulate them in other formats (PDFs, EPUBs, etc).  

i also encourage other writers to think about cop fic they’ve written. while it may be fun and escapist for you, it still encourages the idea that antiblack and killer cops are just “bad apples” and that good cops exist. let’s dismantle that system of thought.

I have some very, very mixed feelings on this.

To start: I respect her reasoning, but I don’t agree with it. I fully agree that it’s not just a bunch of “bad apples”, there’s a serious issue with the system and how the police operate in the United States. I’ve always been bothered by how the police let other officers get away with horrible BS, even as a kid, and that rage has only grown as I’ve grown older and found out more about how screwed up it is on every single level.

But the way that last paragraph is written rubs me the wrong way because you can’t paint every single person in an entire career field as unequivocally corrupt, bigoted and all around callous murderers. Good cops DO exist. Plenty of people go into the career hoping to fix things, or just genuinely want to help their community in whatever way they can. But the thing is, they’re fighting a losing battle because the system is working against them. When they DO speak up against the corruption, bigotry, violence and other issues, they tend to get fired and blacklisted from the field. Or sometimes, they get outright murdered and it’s treated as a “suicide.”

A shitty fact of life: sometimes, the people who are more willing to resort to underhanded tactics and willing to turn a blind eye to corruption are the ones who climb up the career ladder furthest. And in the case of the police, it’s deep-rooted enough that it can’t be fixed internally anymore. But that doesn’t make literally every police officer corrupt.

I’m not posting this to make some political point or argument though. I obviously disagree with Kurikuri’s opinion, but I respect it. I can even respect her decision to remove the stories featuring the police, or even the ones heavily focusing on the characters’ jobs as pro heroes. I can see how heroes are just another version of law enforcement, because honestly, they are.

As a writer and a reader, I fully respect that it’s ultimately her choice to delete her stories. It’s not my place to make demands. She’s the one who created it, and as a writer I know the hard work and time that goes into crafting stories, so I believe she has a right in how it’s used and shared. The fact she shared it in the first place was something she didn’t have to do.

But the thing is, she DID share it, which is why I have this conflict.

As a writer, I’ve always believed that fiction can be more powerful than fact.

Fiction can give readers a window into mindsets you’d never imagine before, because you can connect more easily with fictional characters than real people on the news. That’s why Uncle Tom’s Cabin was so critical in the battle against slavery: it didn’t just gave a face to slavery, it let readers experience the characters’ lives directly. People got to see the struggles and suffering firsthand, feel the rising crescendo of hope each time freedom is in reach, and the soul-crushing despair every time that hope gets dashed by outside forces.

Fiction may not always be “true” or even “accurate,” but it can help us understand other people, see them as fellow humans, in ways that nonfiction just can’t. It can evoke emotions, empathy and familiarity in a reader that a news story or biography can’t capture because it draws you directly into their world.

And it’s that part—the part where readers enter this fictional world to connect to characters they’ll never meet—that leads to the other power of fiction that many people overlook:

Fiction has the ability to help readers persevere.

How many people reading this have used books to get away from trouble in their lives? To take a breather from all their anxieties and stress, and dive head-first into this other world for just a moment, where nothing else matters? How many people reading this had their whole lives changed by reading a story where a character’s words resonated with them? Where it helped them come to an epiphany about how to do better, how to be better.

Sometimes, the world is too overwhelming and we need to escape it. That’s the beauty of fiction. It lets us go to a world where our problems just don’t matter. Even if the world in question is worse than our own, it can still be a relief and give us hope because hey, at least we’re not living in 1984 or the Hunger Games, right? Stories are what keeps many people going through the hardest time, what gives them hope that life isn’t utterly hopeless.

And even after a story is finished, whether it’s fan fiction, a book, a show, or any other medium, that story will have a special place in people’s hearts. Many people will go back to those stories years later when they’re faced with immense stress and need a break from the real world, so that they can dive into the world that helped them persevere the last time they felt so bad. Just having a copy of it on hand can be a source of comfort even if you never read it again.

I want to highlight one phrase Kurikuri used in her post to describe how people feel writing stories about police and heroes: "fun and escapist”. That’s honestly so accurate, those stories are escapist, and that is why I’m so conflicted.

Stories about superheroes, while technically revolving around themes of law enforcement, are a form of escapism FROM police corruption.

There’s a reason that superhero comics are so popular in America. Superheroes appeal to a natural desire for justice because as so aptly pointed out, the real world doesn’t always HAVE that justice. It gives an ideal for people to aspire to, a glimpse of what could be, what should be. (Come to think of it, that’s probably why I hate the DC cinematic universe so much, it’s skewed way too much to favor the villains/antagonists and maximize suffering for the good guys.)

Right now, the world is full of more injustice than ever before. I can’t turn on the news without feeling my rage and stress boil over. Every day it gets worse and worse somehow, and I (and many others) genuinely fear that the United States may be heading towards a civil war this November. Donald Trump’s voice alone is enough to make my blood boil at this point.

I, and many others, turn to fan fiction so I can break away from reality because that amount of rage and fear just isn’t healthy.

I don’t have depression, or anxiety, or an abusive family, or a chronic illness. I’m not at risk of being made homeless anytime soon, nor do I need to worry about bills right now or going hungry. I’m a privileged white girl who has barely anything to worry about. What I’m saying is I’m fucking lucky and I know it, but I STILL can’t stand thinking about the state of the world and need to get the fuck away from it to take a breather for my own mental health.

And I also know that many people don’t have that option because their situation is so bad, they NEED to be aware of it at all times.

In the past when writing for other fandoms, I’ve had people tell me my fan fiction was the reason they did not commit suicide.

In my early college years I fell into the creepypasta community and was pretty active in it, especially on deviantArt. I don’t know if that particular fandom’s subject and focus makes it more appealing to teenagers going through rough times or what, but I swear, more than half the people I spoke to suffered from some form of mental illness, abusive or broken family and home situations, bullying, and every other way the world can screw someone over through means beyond their control.

During that time, a few readers left comments that waiting for my stories to update were what kept them going. They didn’t explicitly say that it was the only reason they didn’t kill themselves. It was more just remarks like, “Your writing is the only thing keeping me going.”

I’m not vain enough to believe my stories are so good, it made people decide to continue living JUST to see what happens next. Suicidal thoughts and urges are much more complex than that. But it’s still not something you expect to hear on something you write for fun.

I’ve thought about it a lot over the years, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it probably wasn’t because my stories were "just that good.” I think it was because they needed something to cling to in bleak times. That sometimes at the lowest point where all seems lost, people need just one little thought, just the smallest thing to push away those dark urges before they could fully overwhelm them. Something like, “If I die now, I won’t get to see how that story ends.” It’s such a small thing, but having something to look forward to can be so powerful in fighting off impulsive decisions.

It’s made me hyper-aware of just how powerful writing is.

To me, I see writing as a way of helping others. I give people that option for escape. It’s a large part of why I update on a regular, weekly schedule, and why I published extra chapters when the pandemic got announced and when the riots started. People need that comfort, that little break from reality to just sit and breathe so they can get through the rest of the day. I can’t do much to fix the world, but I can at least give people that.

Right now, people need that escape more than ever.

And deleting the stories is taking that escape away and causing MORE stress.

In times like this, people often turn to the stories they know will help most, and plenty of people in fandoms will first search up their favorite ships. They look for fluff, smut, angst... It helps people feel better to focus on these two people who are obviously in love as they work through their troubles.

Many times, readers will be more drawn to stories in the canon universe than radical AUs set in other universes. That’s how they were introduced to those characters. I myself can enjoy no-power and fantasy AUs sometimes, but what I really crave are how they interact in the canon world because that’s the world and versions of them I want to see the most. By deleting EVERY SINGLE STORY IN THE CANON UNIVERSE, that option was removed.

In many of the stories that were deleted, the characters’ careers were honestly a minor facet of the story. Some used it to establish the setting, such as treating injuries after a patrol. Some just simply used it to explain they work at UA, a school for teaching kids with superpowers. Some just had them work as heroes because it’s set in the canon universe, and never directly show ANTTHING about the work.

I’m not always looking for a story about how being a hero shapes and impacts their lives, and most of those stories that got deleted AREN’T about being a hero. That’s just one piece of their character, it’s far from the focal point. It could honestly be removed from several of them without changing the rest of the story.

I can get wanting to make a political point and I respect that, but by deleting those stories, you’ve taken away a key source of comfort from hundreds, thousands of people. By deleting the stories, you’re making the stress worse.

On Saturday night, I realized several of my favorite stories are suddenly gone. I knew Kurikuri had deleted a bunch of her stories, but I hadn’t realized just how many of them I liked. Some of them I’ve specifically sought out to reread multiple times in the past, never really paying attention to the author. Realizing they’re just gone caused me heavy stress because it made me paranoid about all these other stories I like to reread. I don’t expect those stories to be around forever, but I still didn’t expect them to vanish so suddenly. I never thought I’d need to download them to make sure I’d still be able to read them while the site is still up.

I spent hours searching out specific stories to see if they were written by her, and make sure they’re not gone forever. I have no way of knowing which ones she’d written and deleted because there’s not exactly a list out there anymore. My desperate search for those stories and one in particular (which I still haven’t found) contributed to the lack of sleep I got that night.

And I need to reiterate: I am mentally healthy and have no major stresses in my immediate life. And that’s why I’m hyper-aware of how this stress will affect people who AREN’T as lucky as I am.

If an author decides to delete their stories because they feel the stories themselves push harmful values or themes, fine. If they’re getting harassed, or it reminds them of a bad time in the lives, or they just don’t like that story anymore, okay. I can respect that and accept it.

But these stories were deleted for the EXACT reasons that people will be looking for them now more than ever, and that’s where I draw the line.

This applies to ALL fandoms.

If you as a fan fiction writer have more than, say, 100 kudos on a completed story or one-shot, there’s a good chance people will read and reread your story in stressful times. If you have a reasonably popular story that updates on a regular or even semi-regular basis, there is a chance that someone is using it as a lifeline to have something to look forward to while the rest of their lives go to hell. Maybe not because they specifically love it, but because it gives them something routine.

I want to make it clear that it’s not our job to care for other people’s mental health. Fan fiction writers don’t have an obligation to people, we’re doing it for fun first and foremost. We’re not some sort of saviors, and we shouldn’t think of ourselves that way or we can honestly screw people up worse. We’re not obligated to write these stories JUST for our fans.

At most, our stories are sources of support and comfort for readers. A little break from reality. If writing a story is causing you more stress than enjoyment, stop. Fan fiction, and all other fan media and stories in general, is ultimately created for the creator’s enjoyment more than anything.

Your own mental health comes first. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

But with how utterly fucked and unfair the world is right now, people need those stories now more than ever. So if you’ve got a story out there that’s fairly popular, please, please, PLEASE be mindful of your readers before deciding to delete it. Now is the absolute last time people need more stress trying to find a single story. And if you’re going to delete it, maybe give readers a heads up so that those who need it or have some powerful attachment to it for all the reasons I’ve discussed here can download a copy for their own personal use.

Don’t hurt your readers to make a point.

#fanfic #fan fiction #fan fic #fandom #my hero academia fanfiction #boku no hero academia fanfic #kurikuri #letaizawarest #erasermic #maizawa #writing #stories #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #tw suicide #superhero #superheroes

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for-your-therapeutic-smile · 4 years

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They Never Teach You How to Stop

Rarely do I lack the words to express myself. Perhaps this reflects my failure to maintain my journal consistently throughout 2020. Here goes an honest attempt to capture and document my mental state and the fatigue of Covid, the inertia of this shelter-in-place, the anxiety of this political crisis we face as a nation, the pressure of being a 1L in law school against the backdrop of civil unrest and Justice Ginsburg’s death, coming out - my dad told me he was disappointed -, the possible erosion of my relationship with someone I love, and this feeling of absolute dread and resentment for a system that continuously fails my and future generations (robbing us of a social contract that promised life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness), among many other things I’m too tired to consider. When did we accept a $0 baseline as the American Dream? Oh, to be debt free - free from this punishment for having pursued an education. Stifling the educated to prevent them (myself included) from organizing and mobilizing the masses so we can supplant this system with a better one is the overall objective of the oppressive class (read: Pedagogy of the Oppressed); it’s the conflict between the bourgeois and the proletariat. The proletariat has swallowed the middle class, leaving only the ruling class. I am essentially on autopilot, forcing myself to go through the motions so I can survive another day. I know others join me in this mental gymnastics of unparalleled proportions, one social scientists and medical researchers will soon study and subsequently publish their findings in an attempt to explain the unexplainable. Despite a lack of air circulation, we are breathing history; the constitution, like our societal norms, must adapt accordingly. Judge Barrett: there is no place for originalism. While I seldom admit weakness or an inability to manage life’s curveballs, this series of unfortunate events seems almost too much to bear.

And yet somehow I continue to find the energy to submit assignments due at 11:59 p.m., write this post at 1:38 a.m., “sleep”, wake at 7 a.m. so I can read and prepare (last minute!) the assigned material leading into my torts or contracts class. I find the energy to text my boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend) so I can attempt to salvage the real and genuine connection we have, cook elaborate meals to find some solace, wrestle with whether or not to hit my yoga mat (I don’t), apply to a fellowship for the school year and summer internships, prepare my dual citizenship paperwork, manage a campaign for two progressive politicians, and listen to music in an attempt to stay sane . . . ~*Queues John Mayer’s “War of My Life” and “Stop This Train”*~ . . . I realize I have to be kinder to myself, give credit where credit is due. I hate feeling self-congratulatory though.

Mostly, I am too afraid of the repercussions if I stop moving at a mile/minute, that I can just work away the pain and be the superhuman who numbs himself from the low-grade depression and nervous breakdown. My body tells me to slow down, as evidenced by the grinding of my teeth, but I take on more responsibility because people rely on me. I must show up. I am a masochist in that way. This is what I signed up for and I’ll be damned if I don’t carry through on my promise to do the work. Pieces of my soul scattered about like Horcruxes, though they’re pure, not evil, so I hope nobody resolves to destroy them.

My mind rarely rests. It’s 3:08 a.m., one of the lonelier hours where night meets morning; it’s the hour for and of intense introspection. It makes you consider pulling an all-nighter, one you reserve for an “important” school or work deadline. We always put our personal lives on the back-burner. 3 a.m. sets the tone for a potentially awful day. But that doesn’t matter right now. I’m letting some of my favorite albums play in the background: Joni Mitchell’s Blue, Mac Miller’s Circles, Rhye’s Blood, Alicia Keys’ ALICIA, Coldplay’s Ghost Stories, Frank Ocean’s Blonde, Miley Cyrus’ Dead Petz in addition to other playlists, Tiny Desk performances, and tracks (I unearthed last week, like When It’s Over by Sugar Ray). I need to feel something. I need to feel anything. I need to feel everything. We experience such a broad spectrum of emotions throughout the day that we lose track of if we don’t pause to absorb them. Music reinforces empathy; it releases dopamine.

I spent the past two hours reading through old journals and posts, as scattered as they were, on a wide range of topics: poems I had written about falling in and out love, anecdotes about my world travels, and entries on personal, political, and professional epiphanies. The other night I found one of my favorites, a previous post from my time living in Indonesia, centering on the dualities of technology. It resonated with me more than the others. To summarize, I wrote about my tendency to equate the Internet with a sense of interconnectedness (shoutout to Tumblr for being my digital journal; to Twitter for being a place of comedy and revolution; to Instagram for curating my *aesthetic*; to Facebook where I track my family’s accomplishments and connect with travel buddies displaced around the globe all searching for a home). And yet I feel incredibly lonely and disconnected whenever I spend too much time using technology, so much so that I set screen time limitations on my phone recently to curtail this obsession with constant communication and information gathering. Trump and Biden admitted that it’s unlikely we’ll know the results of the election on November 3rd during their first presidential debate. Push notifications don’t allow us to learn of trauma within the comforts of our own homes. I’m already fearing where I will be when that news breaks.

This global pandemic and indefinite shutdown of the world (economy) undeniably exacerbates these feelings. This is some personal and collective turmoil. But I was complicit in the endless scrolling and swiping of faces and places long before Covid-19. Instead of choosing to interact with my direct environment (today’s research links this behavior to the same levels of depression one feels when they play slot machines), I am still an active on all these platforms, participating the least in the most tangible one: my physical life. I am tired of pretending. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of embodying fake energy to exist in systems that fail me. I am tired of the quagmire. Like Anaïs Nin, I must be a mermaid [because] I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living. This particular excerpt from that 2016 entry was difficult for me to read: “The fantasy of what could have been if a certain plan had unfolded will haunt you forever if you do not come to peace with the reality of the situation. I hope you come to terms with reality.” I am not at peace with my current reality. But is anyone?

It’s a bit surreal for my peers to have suddenly started caring about international relations theory. It’s transported me back to my 2012 IR lecture at Northeastern: are you a constructivist or a feminist? Realist or liberalist? Neo? Marxist? The one no one wants you to talk about. Absent upward mobility, this is class warfare. But I cannot be “a singular expression of myself . . . there are too many parts, too many spaces, too many manifestations, too many lines, too many curves, too many troubles, too many journeys, too many mountains, too many rivers” . . . It feels like America’s wake-up call. But I know people will retreat into the comforts of capitalism if Biden wins and, well, we all enter uncharted waters together if the Electoral College re-elects #45. For those who weren’t paying attention: the world is multipolar and we are not the hegemon. Norms matter. People tend to be self-interested and shortsighted. Look to the past in order to understand the future. History, as the old adage goes, repeats itself. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Taxation without representation. Indoctrination. Welcome to the language of political discourse. Students of IR and polisci have long awaited your participation. Too little too late? Plot twist: it’s a lifelong commitment. You must continue to engage irrespective of the election outcome or else we will regress just as quickly as we progress. Now dive into international human rights treaties (International Covenant on Civil & Political Rights; International Covenant on Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights), political refugees, FGM. No one said it wasn’t dismal. But it’s important. We need buy-in.

While I am grateful for the continuation of my education, for this extended time with family, for this opportunity to be a campaign manager for two local progressive candidates (driving to Boston to pick up revised yard signs as proof that the work never stops), it would be remiss of me, however, not to admit that I am lonely: I am buried in my books, in the depressing news both nationally and globally, and in precedent-setting Supreme Court cases (sometimes for the worst, e.g. against the preservation of our environment). In my nonexistent free time I work on political asylum cases, essentially creating an enforceability framework of international law, for people fleeing country conditions so unthinkable (the irony of that work when my country falls greater into authoritarianism and oligarchy is not lost on me). I am fulfilling my dream of becoming a human rights lawyer which stems back to middle school. I saw Things I Imagined (thank you Solange). I have held an original copy of the Declaration of Independence that we sent to the House of Lords in 1778 and the Human Rights Act of 1998 while visiting the U.K. Parliamentary Archives as an intern for a Member of Parliament. This success terrifies and exhausts me; it also oxygenizes and saves me. Every decision, every sacrifice, has led me to this point.

“It’s the choosing that’s important, isn’t it?,” Lois Lowry of The Giver rhetorically asks. This post is not intended to be woe is me! I am fortunate to be in this position, to have this vantage point at such an early age, and I understand the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. My life has purpose. I am committed to the work that transcends boundaries; it is larger than life itself. It provides a unique perspective. But it makes it difficult to coexist with people so preoccupied in the drama they create in their lives and the general shallowness of the world we live. It feels like there is no option to pump the brakes on any of this work, especially in light of our current climate, and that pressure oftentimes feels insurmountable. Time is of the essence. It feels, whether true or not, that hardly anyone relates to my experience, so if I don’t carve out this time to write about it, then I am neither recording nor processing it.

Tonight, in between preparing tomorrow’s coursework, I realize that I have an unprecedented number of questions about life, which startles me because typically I have the answers or at least have a goal in mind that launches me into the next phase of life or contextualizes the current one. These goals, often rooted in this capitalistic framework, in this falsity of “needing” to advance my career as a means of helping people, distract me from asking myself the existential questions, the reasons for why we live and what we fundamentally want our systems to look like; they have distracted me from real grassroots community organizing until now. They distract me from the fact that, like John Mayer, I don’t know which walls to smash; similarly, I don’t know which train to board. Right now feels like we are living through impossible and hopeless times and I don’t want to placate myself into thinking otherwise despite my relatively optimistic outlook on life. As we face catastrophic circumstances – the consequences of this election and climate change (famine, refugees, lack of resources) – I do not want to live in perpetual sadness. I am searching for clarity and direction so I can step into a better, fuller version of myself.

It’s now 3:33 a.m. Here is the list of questions that I have often asked myself in different stages of life, but recently, until now, I have not been willing to confront for fear that I might not be able to answers them. But I owe it to myself to pose them here so I can have the overdue conversation, the one I know leads me to better understanding myself:

Are you happy? Why or why not?

What do you want the future to hold? What groundwork are you going to do to ensure it happens?

What does your ideal day/week/month/year/decade look like? Why?

With whom do you want to spend your days? Why?

Who do you love and care about? Have you told people you care about that you love them? Does love and vulnerability scare you?

What do you expect of people – of yourself, of your partner, of your family, and of your friends? Should you have those expectations? Why or why not?

What do you feel and why?

What relaxes you? What scares you? What brings you joy?

What do you want to improve? Why?

What do you want to forgive yourself for and why?

Does the desire to reinvent yourself diminish your ability to be present?

Do you have a greater fear of failure or success? Why?

How do you escape the confines of this broken system? How do you break from the guilt of participation in it and having benefited from it?

How do we reconcile our daily lives with the fact that we’re living through an extinction event? This one comes from my friend (hi Jeanne) and a podcast she listened to recently.

How do you help people? How do you help yourself? Are you pouring from an empty cup?

How will you find joy in your everyday responsibilities, in the mission you have chosen for yourself? What, if any, will be the warning signs to walk away from this work, in part or in its entirety? Without being a martyr, do you believe in dying for the cause?

So here are some of the lessons I have learned during this quarantine/past year:

“I’ve Got Dreams to Remember,” so do not take your eyes off them. Chasing paper does not bring you happiness.

Be autonomous, particularly in your professional life.

Focus on values instead of accolades.

Do everything with intention and honest energy.

Listen to Tracy Chapman’s “Crossroads” & Talkin’ Bout a Revolution for an energy boost and reminder that other revolutionaries have shared and continue to share your fervent passion . . . “I’m trying to protect what I keep inside, all the reasons why I live my life” . . . When self-doubt nearly cripples you and you yearn a few minutes to run away when in reality you can’t escape your responsibilities, go for a drive and queue up “Fast Car” . . . “I got no plans, I ain’t going nowhere, so take your fast car and keep on driving.”

With that said, take every opportunity to travel (you can take the work with you if absolutely necessary). Go to Italy. Buy the concert ticket and lose yourself in the moment. Remember that solo excursions are equally as important as collective ones. But, from personal experience, you prefer the company. Find the balance.

Detach from the numbers people keep trying to assign to measure your personhood.

Closely examine the people in your inner circle and ask them for help when you need it.

“And life is just too short to keep playing the game . . . because if you really want somebody [or something], you’ll figure it out later, or else you will just spend the rest of the night with a BlackBerry on your chest hoping it goes *vibration, vibration*” (John Mayer’s Edge of Desire) . . . so love fiercely and unapologetically.

Be specific.

Go to therapy even when life is good.

#reflection #covid #quarantine #late nights #music #revolution #diary #politics #john mayer #alicia keys #tracy chapman #love #dear diary #travel #writing #personal #mental health

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skullgirls-imagines · 5 years

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High and low points for dating the skullgirls cast?

oho this should be fun. and long

Parasoul

+ good at remembering things and plans accordingly. got a birthday? anniversary? just something shes noticed you enjoy or dislike? shes on it.

- a looooot of emotional walls. probably afraid of intimacy too. comes off as uptight or all work, but the root of it is some pretty terrible ptsd.

Filia

+ unconditional and genuine kindness. the patience of a god. it can be cheesy, but shes a sucker for romancing and being romanced.

- though shes very empathetic, she has a hard time with sympathy. also a bit scatter brained. and uh, if samson dont like you, then.. pray for mercy.

Ms Fortune

+ always has something good to say. she can brighten a room just by being in it. she has a strong sense of justice and loves helping people

- shes afraid of losing people. this could lead her to be overprotective, or isolating herself before someone can get too close.

Valentine

+ she'll fight for you or beside you, tooth and nail. if she really does like you, her loyalty is unmatched.

- being in a relationship is the last thing on her mind. plus her fear of being vulnerable with another person, lack of empathy or being emotionally available, desperate need of therapy, and her drinking problem.

Peacock

+ never a dull moment. if you want a relationship thatll leave you breathless, heres your girl. she also loves showing you off to anyone and everyone.

- hard to keep up with. if you cant, she might just drop you. she doesnt really.. 'get it' when it comes to relationships, either. needs a lot of patience.

Cerebella

+ a warm, bright person all around. it amplifies when shes with someone. an unconditional support, your number one cheerleader.

- needs attention. like, a lot. she has a lot of insecurity about her worth as a person, so be prepared to sit down and have conversations about it.

Painwheel

+ open minded, kind, loving, a beautiful soul. her heart is huge and her hugs are bigger.

- trust issues, anger issues. terrible time at communicating. she needs patience and understanding, and a lot of space to start with.

Double

+ extremely interesting. has knowledge far more vast than silly mortals can comprehend.

- she cant date humans. she cant date anyone. the dynamic would have to be worshipping either one or the other for any romantic feelings to be involved.

#skullgirls #parasoul skullgirls #skullgirls parasoul #filia skullgirls #skullgirls filia #valentine skullgirls #skullgirls valentine #ms fortune skullgirls #skullgirls ms fortune #peacock skullgirls #skullgirls peacock #cerebella skullgirls #skullgirls cerebella #painwheel skullgirls #skullgirls painwheel #double skullgirls #skullgirls double #headcanons #mod valentine

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anniekoh · 4 years

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elsewhere on the internet: talking about racism

This set of articles has been languishing at the back of the queue for three years!

Political Correctness Wanted Dead or Alive: A Rhetorical Witch-Hunt in the US, Russia, and Europe

Anna Szilagyi (2016, Talk Decoded)

Possibly the most common way of attacking political correctness, is to label it “tyrannical”. Covert speech strategies may also support this construction. For instance, anti-PC politicians often utilize adjectives for fear (including “afraid”, “frightened”, “scared”, “terrified”) to describe how PC affects the behavior and feelings of people. The former leader of the UK Independence Party, Nigel Farage claimed: “I think actually what’s been happening with this whole politically correct agenda is lots of decent ordinary people are losing their jobs and paying the price for us being terrified of causing offence.” Suggesting that the British are “terrified” because of political correctness, Farage urged his listeners to think of PC in terms of intimidation.

At the same time, the fearsome vocabulary provides a background for anti-PC populists to present themselves as “brave” and “courageous” “saviors” of their “victimized” societies. The next quote by Nigel Farage exemplifies this trend: “I think the people see us as actually standing up and saying what we think, not being constrained or scared by political correctness.” In a similar fashion, Geert Wilders declared: “I will not allow anyone to shut me up.”

Why White People Freak Out When They’re Called Out About Race

Sam Adler-Bell (2015, Alternet) @SamAdlerBell

Sam Adler-Bell: How did you come to write about "white fragility"?

Robin DiAngelo: To be honest, I wanted to take it on because it’s a frustrating dynamic that I encounter a lot. I don’t have a lot of patience for it. And I wanted to put a mirror to it.

I do atypical work for a white person, which is that I lead primarily white audiences in discussions on race every day, in workshops all over the country. That has allowed me to observe very predictable patterns. And one of those patterns is this inability to tolerate any kind of challenge to our racial reality. We shut down or lash out or in whatever way possible block any reflection from taking place.

Of course, it functions as means of resistance, but I think it’s also useful to think about it as fragility, as inability to handle the stress of conversations about race and racism

Sometimes it’s strategic, a very intentional push back and rebuttal. But a lot of the time, the person simply cannot function. They regress into an emotional state that prevents anybody from moving forward.

...

RD: I think we get tired of certain terms. What I do used to be called "diversity training," then "cultural competency" and now, "anti-racism." These terms are really useful for periods of time, but then they get coopted, and people build all this baggage around them, and you have to come up with new terms or else people won’t engage.

And I think "white privilege" has reached that point. It rocked my world when I first really got it, when I came across Peggy McIntosh. It’s a really powerful start for people. But unfortunately it's been played so much now that it turns people off.

The Language of “Privilege” Doesn’t Work

Stephen Aguilar (2016, Inside Higher Ed) @stephenaguilar

I believe that “privilege” is a sterile word that does not grapple with the core of the problem. If you are white, you do not have “white” privilege. If you are male, you do not have “male” privilege. If you are straight, you do not have “straight” privilege. What you have is advantage. The language of advantage, I propose, is a much cleaner and more precise way to frame discussions about racism (or sexism, or most systems of oppression).

... does giving up a “privilege” seem incoherent? It might, because generally privileges are given and taken by someone else. They are earned, and are seldom bad things to have.

Now try shifting your language to that of advantages. Ask yourself, “What advantages do I have over that person over there?” That question is much easier to answer and yields more nuanced responses.

Kimberlé Crenshaw on intersectionality

Bim Adewunmi (2014, New Statesman) @bimadewunmi

“I wanted to come up with an everyday metaphor that anyone could use”

“Class is not new and race is not new. And we still continue to contest and talk about it, so what’s so unusual about intersectionality not being new and therefore that’s not a reason to talk about it? Intersectionality draws attention to invisibilities that exist in feminism, in anti-racism, in class politics, so obviously it takes a lot of work to consistently challenge ourselves to be attentive to aspects of power that we don’t ourselves experience.”

...

“Sometimes it feels like those in power frame themselves as being tremendously disempowered by critique. A critique of one’s voice isn’t taking it away. If the underlying assumption behind the category ‘women’ or ‘feminist’ is that we are a coalition then there have to be coalitional practices and some form of accountability.”

The Persecution of Amy Schumer: Political Correctness and Comedy

Teo Bugbee (2015, Daily Beast)

We have developed highly advanced ways of recognizing and articulating when we feel offended, but very few ways of making something productive out of our own hurt feelings.

I’ve questioned if my choice to overlook what’s hurtful in Schumer’s comedy for the sake of what’s insightful is a sign that I’m complicit in the faults of white feminism, not valuing the importance of others’ feelings on this matter enough. This argument of apathy gets used often on social media to raise awareness around issues of race, sex, gender, and other topics surrounding justice and a need for change, and it is often useful, but it can also be a blunt instrument. Where I’ve landed for the moment is that not all marginalized people feel the same way about every issue—even on social media, but especially outside it—and asking everyone to respond in the same way to the same joke takes a simplistic view that flattens the complexity of marginalized communities just as much as it does the white, cisgender mainstream.

However, if we’re going to ask audiences to keep in mind the multiplicity of responses that a person might have to a work of art before they attempt to control someone else’s opinion, then it’s only fair that comedians follow the same rule.

What’s Wrong (and Right) in Jonathan Chait’s Anti-P.C. Screed

J. Bryan Lowder (2015, Slate)

One of the main problems with the constellation of leftist ideas he bemoans is that many of the people who use them most loudly do so out of context. Concepts like “microaggressions,” “trigger warnings,” and “mansplaining” originally had specific meanings and limited uses, often within the academy. They described or were meant to address specific situations or phenomena, and more important, they were intended to function as diagnostic tools of analysis, not be used as blunt, conversation-ending instruments. Believe it or not, most of these “PC buzzwords” are actually useful from time to time: “Straightsplaining” is a real (and very annoying) thing, and it’s often a productive way of thinking about an interaction. But it’s also not always a useful or fair way to characterize a disagreement between a queer person and a straight interlocutor. Precision is what’s needed.

Additionally, though it is impossible to say this without sounding condescending myself, a lot of the abuse of PC rhetoric comes from young college students who have not yet grasped the difference between a measuring tape and a sledgehammer. Of course, given that contemporary mainstream politics offers little for those hopeful souls who want to make truly radical change in the world, you can’t really blame them for gravitating toward a mode of critique that at least feels somewhat empowering. Here, first-year, is a framework by which you can reveal the (screwed-up) hidden structures of the world and use your newly honed textual close-reading skills to mount offenses against those structures—go for it. What works on a novel doesn’t necessary translate to a complicated, changeable human being, though, so it’s no surprise that the deployment of microaggression and cissexism and other social justice lingo can sometimes come off as strident and simplistic. It often is.

But then, so is crying that only Reason can save us from the illiberal wolves waiting in the wings of our great system, which has a “glorious” history on social justice, by the way.

Want To Help End Systemic Racism? First Step: Drop the White Guilt

Sincere Kirabo (2015, thehumanist)

The point of identifying and exposing inconsistencies within the social systems and cultural norms of the United States isn’t to make whites feel guilty, but to garner greater empathy that will inspire change. The main problem with white guilt is that it attempts to diminish the spotlight aimed at issues germane to marginalized groups and redirects the focus to a wasteful plane of apologetics and ineffective assessment.

This is why some don’t like discussing racism, as those more sensitive to these matters sometimes allow guilt to creep into their thought processes, effectively evoking pangs of discomfort. This can lead to avoidance of the primary issues altogether, as well as the manifestation of defense mechanisms, including denial, projection, intellectualization, and rationalization.

Many are acquainted with the concept of Catholic guilt. Catholic doctrine emphasizes the inherent sinfulness of all people. These accentuated notions of fault lead to varied degrees of enhanced self-loathing. I liken white guilt to Catholic guilt: both relate to a sense of inadequacy emanating from misguided notions. Though the latter is anchored in an imagined source, they both speak to feelings of remorse and internal conflict that does the individual having them no good.

Keep in mind that the call to “recognize your privilege” does not translate to “bear the blame.”

#racism #intersectionality #political correctness #social justice #linguistics

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azarathzinthcs-blog · 5 years

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And he says,

“I’ve got you written in a black book by the railroad tracks. You see, I know your fate.”

❝ — ° is that Russell Roth? he is a hero and known as their alias Raven by the public and affiliated with Titans. Russell has been described as Selfless, Intelligent, Perceptive but has also been described as Sarcastic, Brooding, Withdrawn, he is currently working as a librarian. the aesthetic often associated with Russell is shadows, old tomes, ravens, black robes, glowing red eyes, the calm of meditation, dark shades of indigo and midnight blue.

And I said, “You’ve got to listen, I’m a songbird with a brand new track, you underestimate.”

— HISTORY

Raven’s story begins with a woman who had never known an easy life, someone who knew what it was to feel unwanted, and was on an endless search for fulfillment and belonging. Angela Roth ended up in a Satanic cult, something that led to her being chosen to be the bride of Satan himself, a being that presented himself as beautiful and alluring to her, only to realize that he was actually the inter-dimensional demon, Trigon. Trigon took her by force, and left her with child, destroying the rest of the cult and leaving her broken and alone.

Angela not being able to live with the horror, tried to commit suicide, but was approached by beings from Azarath, a pacifist world that existed in another dimension. They had long chosen to leave Earth behind, and live a more peaceful, harmonious life. Azar and the Azarathians believed they could help guide Angela’s child on a good path, away from Trigon’s influence. They knew it would be best for the sake of the world.

Within Azarath, Angela took on a new name, Arella, and gave birth to her son, Raven. Once Raven was born, he was raised and trained by Azar and the monks of Azarath, the leaders feeling that the less emotional ties there were between Raven and his mother, the better. The main focus was to suppress Raven’s emotions as much as possible in order to not unleash his demonic powers.

Growing up without emotions is a strange life, Raven had never known true fear for most of his childhood. Not until he was a teenager, when he was ambushed by Trigon at the gates of Azarath, finally unleashing his soul self, and giving Trigon the knowledge that he was what he needed to carry out his plans on Earth and the universe.

Raven in desperation, fled Azarath and went to Earth in search for anyone that could help him stop Trigon. He went to the Justice League and was swiftly turned away, not being able to gain their trust due to his demonic parentage. Not knowing where else to go he consulted his powers and magic and that led him to the Teen Titans. That is when Raven formally joined the team, vowing to fight beside them, hoping that they could help defeat Trigon.

Eventually, the team did defeat Trigon, sealing him in an inter-dimensional prison. This, however proved to be a temporary fix, as his influence over Raven and his mind still lingered. Trigon made it his mission to find a way to break free, and chip away at Raven’s mind so that he could be under his influence and destroy the Earth.

Trigon managed to break free, but he needed to break Raven further, once he was free he went to Azarath and destroyed it completely, killing everyone. Once that was done, he sent his daughters after Raven and tried to influence him into giving into his demonic side. It was relentless, and Raven knew he needed to face him head on. Raven tried to ask the team to aid him in taking down Trigon once again, but he knew that he needed to do this on his own.

Raven with the full power of his soul self, aided by all of the souls of Azarath trapped Trigon in a crystal shard, one that was a better prison than the one he had been in prior. Raven keeps it on his forehead, making sure that Trigon is trapped. He still battles with his emotions, his demonic powers, and if he will ever lose himself completely and become the evil he feels deep inside. Raven understands the fear people feel when they see heroes with their unbelievable abilities, he fears himself and the power he holds, the destruction it could cause.

Just give me something to believe in

— POWERS

Soul-Self/Astral Projection: The basis of almost all of Raven's powers are derived from his soul-self. He is able to project his own spirit from his body into a ghostly form, using it to interact with the physical world, affect others mentally, and to traverse through time-space. His soul-self takes the form of a double of his own body, or more commonly, a large black raven. He is capable of changing its shape and mass at will, and can alter his own appearance with his soul-self, like increasing his size or making his face hideous. He is able to project his soul-self into the minds of others to communicate, facilitate calm or to force people into submission with a devastating mental attack. Though normally composed of energy that is colored black, Raven's soul-self can change color depending on his emotional state, manifesting as red or white.

Empathy: The psionic ability to sense the emotions of others, allowing him to gain insight into their thoughts and intentions, and even experience their own feelings. This also enables him to sense the mental state of others. However, this does not work if his own mind has been tampered with. Raven can absorb the pain of others into his own body in order to induce rapid healing for them, and can heal himself by going into a trance of emotional calm. He can also receive precognitive flashes of the future when exposed to extreme emotion. By using his empathy to guide him, he can track others with his soul-self.

Advanced Telekinesis: Raven can merge a small part of his soul-self into objects in order to take control of them, with the object essentially becoming an extension of his soul-self. Whenever he takes control of something, it is covered in the same dark energy that composes his soul-self.

Telekinetic Constructs: With his soul-self able to be molded into any shape, Raven can create simple domes or walls that act as barriers against attack. He can project solid bolts to be used as projectiles, or a steady stream of solid force.

Telekinetic Force-Fields: He can erect shields of sheer telekinetic and dark energy around himself and others for protection.

Telekinetic Teleportation: In conjunction with his telekinesis, Raven's soul-self is able to envelop him (along with a max of about four other people) and travel to other dimensions. He can use this technique to travel vast distances on Earth or to teleport by momentarily displacing himself and then re-appearing in another location. He can pass through walls and obstacles by simply teleporting past them, giving the illusion of intangibility.

Flight: Raven is able to levitate without the use of his soul self.

Spell Casting: He can cast powerful spells, and is always reading new grimoires to expand his knowledge.

With all of Raven’s abilities and more importantly, his emotional state, there comes a need for self-control. He cannot allow himself to ever give into his demonic tendencies, so he has to be careful and know how and when to show restraint.

Promise me...

#warriorsintro #( azarath metrion zinthos )#about russell roth #//technically russell roth is the alias but fghfghfgh

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argentdandelion · 6 years

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Flaws of SOUL Traits

Made with consulting from Flyingwerekitty, Cinnamonazzy, and Kindled-blue-soul.

Six out of the seven SOUL colors featured in Undertale are associated with specific traits. (The Red SOUL’s trait is unclear.) These traits, rather than being personality traits, seem to correspond with various virtues, such as patience and bravery.

As an example, if green is associated with kindness, logically, someone with a green SOUL would be characterized by kindness. However, as covered in a previous post (see "The Green SOUL Could be a Meaniehead", at bottom) different people have different definitions of what entails kindness. In fact, following a virtue to the letter all the time may not actually benefit the person, and may even irritate others.

After all, according to famed Greek philosopher Aristotle, vice (the opposite of virtue) results from both an insufficiency and excess of virtue.

Patience

In the Snowdin ball game, the color light blue (or "cyan", in common Undertale parlance) is associated with patience. The description of "You waited, still, for this opportunity, then dethroned "Ball" with a sharp attack" suggests cyan SOULs are not passive, or at least not purely so.

Still, in some situations, waiting, rather than acting, can be ineffective, and patience can be abused. For example, trying to wait out relationship troubles rather than confronting someone about it may keep someone in a dissatisfying relationship, and waiting on the customer service line for a company with bad service may not pay off. Waiting for just the right moment may irritate others, as would disregarding advice to speed things up.

Example(s):

In The Six Who Fell Before You, the Cyan SOUL was strolling on Mt. Ebott with her parents. When her parents ignored her while talking to each other, she patiently stayed in one spot until they would pay attention. They didn’t, and were so consumed in their argument they lost track of her entirely.

Integrity

One definition of integrity is: “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.” Clinging to a personal code of honor at all times might cause social problems. For example, a Kantian consistency to never lie, ever, might lead to brutal honesty.

Yet, in some situations, things that are generally bad can be morally good, or at least completely justified in the pursuit of higher moral priorities. For example, lying is generally wrong, but if a sinister axe-wielding man comes up to one’s door asking about the location of one’s friend, should one tell the truth? In addition, very consistent honesty might lead to being critical of deceptive behavior, which might alienate people. It would be even worse if the individual with a Blue SOUL is so morally principled and ostentatious about it that the person seems holier-than-thou.

Example(s):

In Day by Day, the Blue SOUL is an unhinged, murderous ballerina poised to kill Asgore. When Asgore asks if she killed Toriel too, she's shocked at the very notion: Toriel was kind to her, so what kind of person would she be to kill her? Whether it’s from her skewed moral principles or deranged mental state, she didn’t feel she was performing any violation of her principles.

Justice:

“Justice” has multiple definitions; the most applicable one is “the quality of being just, impartial, or fair”. Embodying this quality may lead to problems, both for a Yellow SOUL and to those around the person.

For example, in tiny disputes, such as both kids getting punished regardless of who started hitting the other, the person might not accept anything but the most just, impartial, and fair treatment. A functional resolution considered “good enough” may not be satisfactory, and the person might do vigilante justice. This could get especially worrisome if the person’s view of “justice” is drastically different from the view others hold.

Example(s):

In The Anomaly, Tir, one of the seven magicians who sealed monsters away, has a yellow SOUL. In this work, those who practice the associated type of magic, yellow magic, may enter a morally reckless “cowboy mode” and perform vigilante justice. This happened to Tir; she let her quest for justice turn into a full-blown war against monsters.

Bravery:

Bravery is one of the easiest SOUL traits to find flaws for: SOULs defined by bravery might be easily persuaded to do things to prove they’re not cowardly. While the trait of bravery would be obviously appreciated when attacking a genuine threat, disregarding fear could also lead to bad outcomes. The person might not care about the consequences of doing something silly, unwise, or seemingly insane, such as going out in public with a hideous or embarrassing outfit. Similarly, the person might say unpopular opinions or statements, which would likely lead to bad outcomes for them even if it’s for the greater good.

Example(s):

In Caretaker of the Ruins, the Orange SOUL ventured up Mt. Ebott, the mountain people are said never to return from, to prove their bravery to their big brothers and tag along with them later. Being brave and feeling threatened by a monster is a bad combination: the child kills at least one monster. Later, in their boldness, they attack and utterly destroy Asriel (who didn't die as a child here), leading Chara (who also didn’t die) to kill the Orange SOUL in revenge. A reload happens, but once again their bravery leads them to attack, and once more get killed.

Kindness

Someone defined by kindness might find it difficult to stop being kind, for the sake of conserving resources. An affinity for kindness might lead to an inability to say no to requests, and as a likely consequence, a commitment to emotional overwork out of sheer kindness. A Green SOUL might avoid saying anything potentially mean, even if necessary (e.g., pointing out a friend’s body odor), or talks in circles around a hurtful issue to the point of confusing and frustrating people. Kids with green SOULs might donate their entire allowance to random panhandlers1, or, as adults, lose an excessive amount of money through loans or charity.

Perseverance

“Perseverance”, by itself, is little-studied, but “grit” is a very similar concept and is much better-studied. If “grit” is synonymous with the SOUL trait of perseverance, then, at least for students, persevering in goals that are extrinsically (that is, not motivating in itself) motivated, unimportant, or in some way inappropriate to the student may have harmful effects on long-term well-being.

A Purple SOUL might repeatedly disregard social engagements to solve problems as quickly as possible, such as when self-testing on study material until it’s absolutely perfect. Related to this is working so hard, the individual forgets to eat/doesn’t eat well, or sticks to particular regimens (e.g., health regimens) without regard for health complications that result. Purple SOULs might also be the activist/salesperson type, who’s so persistent it’s annoying.

Overlapping with a flaw of one interpretation of the red SOUL’s trait, a purple SOUL might persist at a task even if physically or psychologically unable to endure or outlast something in it.

The Red SOUL

Determination

Determination is not actually a trait of its own, but something all humans SOULs produce. However, as some Undertale works consider it a distinct trait anyway, its flaws will be discussed. Unlike perseverance, determination is defined as the “resolve to change fate”. A Red SOUL, in this interpretation, would be motivated to get what they want, no matter what...regardless of any bad consequences of that desire. Fixation on goals would likely isolate them from others, and cause them to lose empathy with those who don’t share that goal.

Example(s):

In several fanfictions (e.g., One by One) Frisk is shown as so determined in achieving goals it frustrates and baffles others, and may lead to unintended consequences. In some works, a determination-fueled goal of saving or restoring Asriel can cause others to suffer.

Sincerity/Being-yourself-ness:

The blog Nochocolate points out an alternate interpretation for the trait of red SOULs: “being yourself” (or, in one word, “sincerity”):

“being yourself” may seem synonymous with integrity, but there is a difference. integrity is defined as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.” while both are a quality of being honest, there is a difference to what that honesty is towards. those with integrity are righteous, fair, and of good character. however, integrity is not needed to be yourself. being yourself is to stay true to who you are, regardless of what that may be. perhaps a word for this could be “individuality,” “nonconformity,” or “sincerity.”

This trait likely means Red SOULs won't change who they are or how thery act, no matter how awkward or silly it is. It might also frustrate people who want changes in behavior or beliefs.

Example(s):

In The Anomaly, each of humanity's seven greatest magicians has one of the seven SOUL colors shown. The Anomaly goes by the interpretation the trait of Red SOULs is being really, really determined, both in the sense of the behavior and the substance. However, for Day, the magician with the Red SOUL, “sincerity/being-yourself-ness” also applies. No matter how much Day tries to vary his typical presentation with an “edgy” persona, he quickly reverts to a more lighthearted, arguably silly one.

(Frisk, too, stays consistent: though now much older, Frisk has the same personality and tendencies as in canon)

For more like this, see:

The Green SOUL Could be a Meaniehead

(By Coffeelemental) Anomaly Lore: Types of Humans (especially paragraph 4)

On a related note, nice people (or, in personality research terms, agreeable people) are at greater risk of financial hardships and bankruptcy, not because they are more cooperative, but because they don't value money as much. ↩︎

#Undertale #Undertale Analysis #Fallen Humans

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ajapablog · 4 years

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The Gift of Tropes

In The Legend of Korra, the second generation Avatar series from Nickelodeon, the creators return to the origin story for the Avatar—the bridge between the spiritual and the human world, able to harness all the elements to maintain the balance of the universe. The origin story tells us that it was a fight between Raava, the light, and Vaatu the darkness, in which the first man to become an avatar, Wan, interceded on behalf of Vaatu to realize the mistake he made to eventually help Raava to restrain Vaatu. The story of lightness and darkness as opposing but co-existing forces is as old as time. Lightness and Darkness, Ying and Yang, the female and the male. The symbols are reductionist when universalized but they become so pervasive that they become prone to universalization and I am not sure that that is a very bad thing. I am someone who has been drawn to and have found immense strength from Jungian psychology so archetypes appeal to me. They are tropes that make social and cultural navigation possible. After all, anyone who has been to therapy will know that it is when we narrativize our experiences that we begin to feel better and narratives are impossible without tropes. Sometimes, we invent and construct tropes, but it is fine. A little bit of magic and imagination goes a long long way.

Civilization has historically been considered a masculine force and the excess of which has been seen to diminish our capacity to regenerate, heal. The narratives of civilization from its various critiques: Gandhi to Ruskin to the Romantics is that of lament, of loss of the vital spirituality that sustains the soul. Even as we know that the binary of the masculine and the feminine is deeply fraught, we also know that patriarchy has structured society so that these binaries are constantly performed and reconstituted. The relegation of domains and gendered social norms are not without consequences even as we say men and women are hurt by patriarchy. In history, some hurts are greater than others. I am not an extreme relativist supporting status quo and I am certainly not a deny-er. What patriarchy has denied us is the opposing currents and tendencies within ourselves. These tendencies like the desire to conquer, to cultivate the mind and the desire to fold into oneself and be compassionate and develop deep empathy might not always have historically been opposing or even gendered. The constitution of these tendencies as opposing and gendered might have been ways for human societies to divide labor, value and institute patterns for social organization. This is speculation. But the point is: I like Jungian psychology which talks about the masculine and feminine principles because at some level it allows us to access the tropes that have structured our society. As the pandemic has gone to show, with busy lives in the public domain, many people had left their domestic space, the home and the hearth uncultivated. When everyone started baking and cooking, perhaps they realized that certain portions of society always did these things as important. But perhaps, those who always devalued the domestic continued on to think of the rituals of basic self sustenance as measly and low. As Laurie Penny’s piece suggested, women have historically borne the burden of affective work. As Bonnie G Smith has shown, men have historically thrived on the denial of affect. With the blurring of the lines between public and private, the pandemic went to show that compartmentalizing our lives is arbitrary and it is only for civilizational goals. But humanity has also been evading and wary of civilizations for years. Many lived in hills, many roved and moved. But I pray that this pandemic makes us rethink civilization and its constraints. As the Western coast of the US blazes in an orange haze of fires making people suffocate, as otters die and the waters become warm, as businesses die and anger erupts, I think about what it takes for unchecked dominance and power to break. I think denial is what makes a person at an individual level break and I think civilization that turns its face away from this will have to fold if not break.

If autonomy means the indivisible individuality of a person, it is when we hand our sovereignty to those who are more powerful in return for protection, we lose autonomy. This is the paradox of liberty and security. Those who offer us security, do not understand that this exchange where we give them our liberty is one where they too have much to gain as power. But we very well have the capacity to take back our liberty and reconstitute ourselves whole. This is human history — of wars and revolutions and protests and resistance buried in the loud harsh voices of victors. Such is the lopsided nature of civilization. I have not been fond of civilization. Others’ emotions make me weep, I feel deeply about justice and I turn to those who see the emotive as the affective as the site at which we make norms and define ourselves. Many have told me that this is impractical and unrealistic way of living. To feel too much is a curse they say. But the price of not feeling is too much. I might be fine materially in this world but who wants to live in a world where others have it worse than me and others much? It is simply not possible to equalize different kinds of suffering, that is simply unjust and cruel. But affect is my compass in the world. I have been extremely resourceful. I draw on the kinds of resources that others do not see as resources— things that nurture the soul even as they help me define my place in the world. I am more individuated than many others because I have configured and reconfigured myself through multiple, plural dialogues. I thrive through, and grow with the dialogues with other, which often shatter me and each time I find more courage to be a bridge between different worlds. Power and strength are so seductive but what those of us who don’t feel at home in civilization need to remember is that courage is more difficult to muster, the courage to turn to those many beautiful things that have been devalued. When civilization breaks us, we can pick up the pieces. This much I believe.

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