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emmafrostyyy · 6 months

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y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

#when he gets called by omeluum “child of the dark” and her “child of the stars” like yeah..the squid man is being literal but he Gets It fr.#lae'zel #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #astarion ancunin #astarion x lae'zel #lae'zel x astarion #the rarest of rarepairs they dont even got a ship name...this is so tragique we need to discuss the pathos and potential of this pairing #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 astarion #also im a sucker for stoic knight/court darling trope and whatever variations of it yeah #bloodbruise

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angelmichelangelo · 8 months

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so i just want to talk about the whole donnie and april thing from the 2012 series since i have a lot of thoughts on them both and need somewhere to just. get it out my system.

so off the bat im gonna say i’m pretty neutral about the april/donnie ship. i.. don’t really care for it but if it’s there it’s not gonna overly bother me. i’m pretty much on the fence for most things tmnt ship related (though, big exception for woodyangelo just cus. lol) that being said i do have some thoughts about how it was handled in the 2012 show.

as most people might agree, the writing for these two wasn’t great. i think, just in my humble opinion, that the writers kinda ping ponged back and forth depending on fandom criticism of the ship. one minute the relationship seemed to be slowly developing, a nice easy slow burn and then it’d take a sharp turn and it was back to a lot of uncomfortable pining and uncertainty as to where they would both end up. i think the writers wanted to appease both ends of the fandom here by making it somewhat ambiguous but it kinda blew up in their faces. big time.

so then you have the people who put all the blame on april for this. “she’s leading donnie on!” “she’s playing with both donnie and casey!” “she just wants the attention!” and, yeah. maybe. but here’s my defence: (bad writing aside for a moment, let’s pretend that all of this was done on purpose) april doesn’t know what she wants. when we meet april in the show it’s evident that she’s a little dorky and uncool and she doesn’t have ANY friends. she has irma but it seems to be one of those friendships built out of pure convenience. “oh you don’t have friends, i don’t have friends. cool. let’s hang out.” in every scene they have together it’s awkward and weird because they don’t really seem to click. april has like, as little social skills as the turtles. she doesn’t have friends let alone have TWO guys show her any appreciation and affection. how is she supposed to know how to deal with all that? she’s a teenage girl, feelings are complicated.

and some people might blame donnie. “he kept persisting even when she gave clear hints” “he was being a weirdo about it” “he made her uncomfortable” donnie is a teenage boy who happens to be a mutant. a mutant that lives underground and had never even MET a girl until they saved april. donnie’s only point of reference for romance is what he’s most likely seen on tv or in books. it’s that really cheesy affectionate stuff that might work in movies, but in real life is just strange. donnie has even less social skills that april. he’s only ever had his brothers and dad to talk to. he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings properly because up until he met april, he probably never even knew what it was to have a crush on somebody

my headcanon for these two is that donnie is clearly autistic. he’s very overly empathetic towards april but can’t understand why his efforts aren’t paying off like he thinks they will. i think april being a young teenage girl with a lot on her plate, might not recognise why donnie is acting this way. ive seen a lot of people also headcanon that april is aromantic which i totally 100% love and agree with. i don’t think she recognises this in the way donnie recognises his own autism. it causes them to clash, and neither of them really understand why that is, and can’t quite communicate it to the other until they’ve figured themselves out.

a lot of people say that 2012 ruined the donnie and april friendship that was pretty strong throughout the franchise but honestly, even the 2003 show had pepperings of donnie’s slight crush on april, even back then. it’s not as obvious but it was definitely there. obviously it never got brought up, which imo is a little heartbreaking to think of poor don harbouring these secret feelings for his friend and then having to just. get over it when she marries casey but i think their friendship is still pretty special to them both that it eventually stops becoming an issue for him.

2012 donnie was a social wreck. he had no clue what he was doing and i think the writers could have done waaaay better in making that less of a fault and more of just. idk. just something that made people hate him a little less. it’s in the same vein as mikey’s adhd. i think the writing was a product of its time and that’s why mutant mayhem tackles those issues way way better than 2012 ever did.

it could also be said that donnie and april don’t even really have a lot in common, like some iterations. she’s smart but she’s not a scientist, and donnie’s crush is first of all born out of just physical looks, meaning that maybe donnie just happened to latch onto her because he felt a teeny glimpse of normality (“i could love a girl and she could love me back”) and kinda just held onto that. any of the other girls in the show, donnie doesn’t really draw himself towards but that’s because the other girls are mostly his brothers love interests and donnie is a firm believing in sticking to the bro code lmao (although maybe just from mikey’s perspective, but donnie does seem quite friendly with renet but that might have just been a 2003 callback perhaps, but they have more in common than her and mikey do)

all in all, the donnie/april thing could have been handled way better, especially with casey thrown into the mix. but is there one person solely responsible for the way their relationship played out? absolutely not. they both crossed some boundaries and both made some mistakes that backfired but like i said, they are far from perfect and looking back on their arc together, it’s a little heartbreaking to see how.. unsure they both are, of themselves and of each other. but that’s just my two cent on the whole thing.

i don’t think female characters were the 2012 writers strong point sadly and april suffered as a result but i genuinely think in her good moments, she shines. and donnie isn’t a creep, he’s just a good kid that wants to find his own happiness, even if he looks in the wrong places, both their intentions are good, i believe.

okay rant over sound off in the tags/replies what you think of the donnie/april dynamic in 2012 😎

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt apriltello #tmnt donnie #tmnt april #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt #tmnt meta #tmnt 2012 meta

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normal-thoughts-official · 7 months

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Just absolutely heartbroken thinking about how Mal and Imtura must have missed each other after they had their fallout

Imtura and Mal always got each other and were easily the fastest, easiest bond to form between any of the LIs with each other. Not that the other possible combinations aren't all great in their own way (that's one of the strengths of Blades imo), but Mal and Imtura think similarly, have similar values, similar personalities, and, from what I can remember, never even had a single disagreement the whole time they were traveling together. Their dynamic was easy, tripping each other up on the streets of Undermount, they brought a lightness to each other and the group that no one else could. They both understood what it's like to be an outcast - Imtura for being an orc, Mal for being extremely poor. They even had a similar kind of complicated relationship with their past/family, where they both ran as far as possible from them and couldn't push it fully away

My point is, they understood each other possibly the best out of any other dynamic in that group. And it showed, from the way they always had similar opinions and worldviews to the way they joked around easily nearly from day 1. And because a good part of that bonding was exactly because they were both outcasts in nearly all the places they went to together, losing that meant that, once again, they were left to be the odd one out, the one no one really understands. Especially without MC, who, depending on your choices, also had a similar dynamic with them both

For Imtura especially I just cannot imagine how hard it must have been. She was convinced someone she loved deeply (whether romantically or not) was dead. She watched them get snagged right in front of her as she was helpless - the single thing she hates being more than anything - to do anything, and then she was convinced they had died, and she was heartbroken. And then all her other friends, the ones who were supposed to get how she was feeling because they went through the exact same thing, turned their backs to her

And I can't be sure, but I strongly suspect that Imtura knew or at least thought that Mal agreed that MC was dead. I mean, let's be real, nothing else makes sense for his character. Mal has never been an optimist a day in his life. They met Threep and his instant reaction was "clearly this thing is gonna grow to be huge and eat our faces off". He has that whole devil-may-care attitude about being in dangerous situations, yes, which we know is a facade (he himself said he's always a little afraid), but when it comes to predicting the outcomes of things? Mal always expects the worst. And MC had been missing without any leads for a year. In the Shadow Realm, which no one had ever come out of alive before Kade. At that point, thinking MC was dead was more logical than thinking they were alive

And if Imtura knew all of that, which I think she did even if subconsciously... It must have hurt even more that Mal still sided with Tyril and Nia, which he has never done before, mind you, and cut his ties with her. I mean, I'm sure it was two-way, but still. Just like that, she lost all her friends when she was already going through an extremely rough grief process. And the one she was the closest to took the others' side even though he agreed with her. She didn't even have her crew anymore because she couldn't go to the sea again without MC. She had no one and nowhere to turn to at all, in a city full of humans that she barely knew on top of that

Meanwhile Mal also lost his greatest ally on top of going through the exact same grief process, except he had to hide it and keep going. He was burning the candle at both ends trying to keep himself busy and continuing a search that he didn't even believe in, while hiding his true feelings/opinion from Nia and Tyril, who, on top of that, had always had a tendency to side with each other against Mal because they came from similarly sheltered and rigid backgrounds. I'm not saying they were ganging up on him or putting him aside on purpose, and it's clear he grew even closer to the both of them, but when it came to deciding what to do or discussing the ethics or something, Nia and Tyril had always been on the same side. And even on a more day-to-day basis, there are many things Nia and Tyril just can't understand because they were so sheltered. I'm aware Imtura is a princess, but she's been living as a pirate for a long time now, so she's lived in a world way closer to Mal's than theirs - starting with also being on the "wrong" side of the law. Also, she's an orc. No place but Flotilla is ever truly welcoming to her, and Flotilla doesn't feel like her home either for different reasons

And the signs of how much they missed each other was there. I don't see any reason whatsoever for Imtura to stay in Whitetower - a city I think she complained about more than Undermount - other than the fact that she knew Mal and Nia were there. Maybe she couldn't go to Flotilla or the sea, but there were still plenty of better places for her than Whitetower. And Mal had been keeping tabs on her. And not the casual kind of keeping tabs either, because he knew exactly where she would be the same second MC asked. And they don't have GPS tracking and Mal is the only one out of the remaining trio who doesn't have magic. Mal had to make a huge effort to be able to keep tabs on her like that. And he was the only one who did, despite the fact that Nia and Tyril could have done so way more easily. I have no doubt in my mind that he kept watching her so closely because he missed her. And she still wanted to be close to them, even if only in the vaguest possible terms, despite the fact that Whitetower is an actively hostile place to orcs

And I just. IDK. They were both actively grieving/mourning MC and doing so alone (although in different contexts) and in spaces where they were the odd one out and Imtura in particular was turning to the most unhealthy coping mechanisms known to man. And they could have easily supported each other. And from what we've seen, they wanted to. And they didn't. Because one of the things they are similar in is the way they avoid letting themselves be vulnerable and forgive like that. And it makes me so sad

#this has been a 3am extremely sleep deprived angsty ted talk. thank you #playchoices #blades of light and shadow #bolas #bolas2 spoilers #mal volari #imtura tal kaelen #meta

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dangermousie · 10 months

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Farscape rewatch: 2x05 The Way We Weren’t

One of the best eps and so wonderfully Aeryn-centric.

If I didn’t love Pilot already. I would have fallen in love with him after this ep. The scene where he says ‘but I so desperately wanted to see the stars’ to justify to himself his prior course of action, really breaks my heart. You know, one of the biggest reasons I wouldn’t try Farscape for years, not until S4 in fact, was the ‘muppets.’ No way could I watch a scifi show with puppets. But that’s the thing. I forget Rygel and Pilot are puppets. They are complicated characters, like the rest and their arcs and their emotional heft is no less than that of human characters.

Another thing that I was thinking about with this ep, is how Farscapian. There are no true innocents here. Not really. Farscapian universe won’t let them be. Anyone who starts out innocent is forced to lose it, sooner or later. Crichton and Pilot are both innocents we see lose it. Pilot’s actions led to the death of the previous Pilot, he compromised to serve Peacekeepers. Crichton started the show out as a wide-eyed idealistic pacifist and look what he became end of S4, strapping a nuclear bomb on himself, offering the Universe to Scorpius for a mere chance to get Aeryn back. Pretty much everyone has some breaking point, some driving obsession that can override morality (I mean, Pilot wanted to fly badly enough he agreed to work for evil, in s4 John promises to give wormholes to Scorpius and thus bring war and destruction to untold innocents, to save Aeryn.)

No one starts out evil, or damaged, or guilty in FS. Even Scorpius, much as I loathe him, we really find out later what made him who he became. But (and that is why I love Farscape), not only does the show stick to “an explanation is not an excuse” belief, but there is always a possibility of grace. Of moving on, damaged and tarnished, and making new happiness and actively trying to find peace and goodness. Aeryn gets a chance to rediscover herself away from the brutality of PKs. She gets a chance to be a full-fledged human being (but also how much do I love that her deadliness does not diminish one bit.) Pilot gets the bond with Moya. Crichton, messed up beyond any recognition by the end, gets a chance at family, peace, and rediscovering innocence through his child.

So much of this ep is about choices and past and that’s another thing I love about the show. It’s not big on ‘fate.’ Aeryn and Crichton is my huge, huge, unrivaled OTP but they are not ‘destined,’ ‘fated,’ or any of that junk. They met at the time there was a possibility and their relationships developed from there. If Crichton did propose to Alex and she accepted and they stayed on Earth, I can see him being happy. He’d never have hit his full potential for feeling (or for suffering) but he would have been a happy guy. And for Aeryn, the moment was right. She loved Velorek but she couldn’t really allow herself to express it or to feel it fully, in PK society. Ironically, it’s her experience with Velorek, combined with her experience with her mother telling her she is special, that was that little push that prompted her to take to Crichton’s words of ‘you can be more’ in the Premiere. It’s actually so interesting to me btw that Aeryn has a type - techie with a core of steel but a soft soul and someone willing to buck all norms for what he thinks is right (Velorek, even Larraq to a degree) and John is basically the apotheosis of the type, but that Aeryn is so far from John’s default type prior to her - blond, easy going, chill.

I really love the scene where he comforts her after she’s had an exercise session and her hands are raw from the punching bag. He just holds her, as she cries. And she cries messily, unprettily, very real.

I love that so consistently, no matter how deadly he gets, he is the soft one in the relationship, the emotionally more open one, the one who wants to talk. She started out as a machine and discovers the beauty of vulnerability and humanity as the show progresses and he starts out as a vulnerable soft sweetheart who has to armor himself to survive - being with him restores to her, oh so gradually, the humanity that he society stole from her but later on having her is what keeps in him the humanity that is being so brutally and thoroughly ripped from him. He restores her soul and she restores him after the universe does its best to destroy that in them. They meet somewhere in the scarred middle and the equality of it is beautiful. (But also, achieving their full potential is riven with loss - John would have never shown all this drive and devotion and capability as a scientist on earth but he would have also not been tortured and driven to madness; Aeryn paid for her soul by loss of everything she knew.)

And that shot of them sitting across the PK symbol from each other, as she quietly tells him about the past, and they are not touching (I love that he knows it’s not the time for cuddling, that she needs her space to collect herself) and it’s so symbolic: that red stripe between them.

One of my favorite quotes occurs there, actually:

It’s just the way they say it. Quiet.

This is a gender reversal in their relationship, isn’t it? She is the one who has problems opening up (Crichton is the only one she allows herself to be vulnerable with and it’s been a long hard process to earn it, for him). He is the one who comforts her, who wants her to talk.

He is the emotional one, the one with the heart like a carpet for her to walk on. She prefers action and it’s hard for her to navigate the emotional landscape. And yet, Crichton is never weak. He is never diminished because of caring, or being the emotional one. I like it.

I also love the attitude everyone has on discovering Aeryn has been aboard Moya before (which looks grey and dull, not the gorgeous colors of now). I love that the show doesn’t shy away either from confronting that no, she did have an ugly past, it’s not just the words, and the fact that ultimately what she is now wins over for her shipmates from what she was then. China is 100% on point when she asks did they all think she did nice things while the rest of Peacekeepers tortured and murdered; this is a question not just for the characters but for the audience - it would be so easy to sweep her past under the rug but the show won’t do so. And so Aeryn did horrible stuff and she has to live with it.

The thing with Velorek, the betrayal. I think the scene with her Mother when she was a child was so crucial for her actions post-Velorek. If she didn’t have that ‘differentness’ implanted, she could have become even more martinet like after Velorek. But instead, it gave her a sliver of an opening…And again. I love the show for going there - for giving Aeryn a horrific betrayal in her past - perpetrated by her to advance her career against a man who loved her and who she loved and who was doing something good - and showing she is not just a victim, she is a perpetrator and that if you live in a monstrous regime, are brainwashed by a monstrous regime, you have no chance but become a monster.

The grace and the hope is that when given a chance to take a new path she does (and it’s even more stark with Crais - who was many more times a monster but even he is shown to be warped by the regime and after enough time on his own he becomes if not good per se, then at least a real human being capable of doing good things.)

To get back to the Velorek thing - it is also such a theme that being good does not guarantee reward or a happy ending. There is no easy grace - Aeryn betrayed a good man, a man she loved (as much out of panic because she felt herself deviating from prescribed path as to get advancement - I don’t think she’d have become “more” even with her capability for it if her choice to return to default was not taken from her until she had some chance to reflect and transform, and that is so realistic, brainwashing and societal conditioning are pervasive) and he was executed and she has to live with it.

And how do I love that so much of this ep is turning defaults on their heads - from reminding us that Aeryn was a perpetrator not a victim but also with Velorek who first seems a peacekeeper psycho and then we realizes keeps his humanity as much as he can in that mad place. It’s like their sex scene where it starts and we assume he will try to rape her and then we watch and realize they are lovers, in love (and Aeryn is as always in charge, heee :P) and it basically screams at us - don’t go for easy defaults, look behind the assumptions.

Btw I love this show for allowing Aeryn romantic agency and history - she loved someone before John even if she was not ready to fully commit. And there is no jealousy in John, just a little wonder and just the fraughtness of discussing love with her.

Also - very true to the whole story that for Aeryn physical is easier than emotional and comes first (as Chiana points out to John in s3 because that girl gets relationships.) She is from a society where sex is easy and meaningless but emotions are terrifying and forbidden so of course. For her to admit that she loved Velorek shows how far she’s come; she’d have never been able to realize it in the peacekeepers (and the story of her mother in s3 shows how even people with capacity for love will eventually have it brutalized out of them so safest not to love, it’s self-preservation.)

Also, we see how far the characters have come from the pilot episode but also how far they have yet to go. Look at Zhaan here and yet less than a season later, she will give her life to bring Aeryn back, not just because of her love for John but because of Aeryn herself. (And also, the show is A+ for calling Zhaan out for hypocrisy but also the continuity was always so good!)

I could go on and on and on forever, but I’ll just mention two little things here. One is, I love the shot when Aeryn and John drop from the ceiling into Pilot’s den in unison. Two? The tag. First time I saw it, it killed me dead. When Aeryn and John are talking and she tells him that he reminded her of Velorek and he asks ‘And you say you loved that man?’ and they stare at each other and away with all the questions and answers they are afraid of saying, in their eyes.

#farscape

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graceful-not · 4 months

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Uhh a response to @ccbcrazy 's video on Conya except it got too long and I put too much effort into it to just make it a reblog. So uh. VERY LONG rambling about why my feelings on Conya are complicated that somehow managed to have way too much Jay in it. why does he keep sneaking in here goddamnit.

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL YEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! THE SILLIES EVER!!!! I love the way you organized the bullet points! Made everything very easy to follow (other than all the times the audio cut out RIP 💀) but. yeah . yeah them. they are sooooo. SO! UAUAUUA.

I agree with most of your points (and relate very very much w/ that bit about being ace and the Love At First Sight trope, though I'm aro and not ace), and ESPECIALLY with how Skybound handled everything (I could say so much about how much I hate despise the way they resolved Jaya in Skybound it's so icky I hate it I hate it I hate it I HATE IT), but I don't really have much to add to them, so I'll here are my random disjointed thoughts that sometimes and sometimes do not align with yours:

at some points, the emphasis on how it's something guilty and forbidden and how she "wants him but she can't have him", to quote that one Cole fangirl. It.. sat weirdly with me? As well as the phrasing of "the narrative wants him to be self-sacrificing", when talking about Cole on one of the slides. It feels weird to phrase it like that, as if the narrative is pushing him into that role rather than it being part of who he is, y'know? And the reason that the "yearning for what you know you can't have" aspect felt strange to me was that Cole putting friendship over his romantic relationships is a VERY significant thing about him for me. He values his friendships and family over any kind of romance, and would rather forfeit a potential romance than lose a friend, even if that friend hurt him. Which felt weird when the rest of the slideshow made it clear that you, like me, enjoy Conya because above all else, Cole loves Nya as a comrade and an equal. As a friend, before and even IF he loves her as anything else, which as you point out, isn't something we can definitively say about the other relationships (especially Jaya. I like it, I really do, and I'd say I think I like it more than Conya? but it's. it's VERY complicated and messy and they aren't really stable like. At All. for a while.)

And that part of Cole resonated with me a lot; the part that's perfectly fine not pursuing Nya because he doesn't NEED that connection like Jay does, because he's satisfied and content with where he is in their relationship now, after they both calm down and he realizes it isn't worth it, because it isn't even something he wants all THAT much. (The larger issue is that Jay was against him spending time with her at ALL, even as friends, because he was being possessive and insecure which is a whole host of other things-)

And actually? Y'know what? I'm gonna talk about Jay for a bit bc I feel like, though you did have a few slides on it and touch on it, you didn't really talk about how Jay is a very fundamental aspect of Conya's dynamic in-canon, as Nya's Yang and Cole's best friend (A title which he bestowes upon himself, I might add.) Jay is... Not Very Secure In His Relationships for the first few seasons. It stems from feeling inferior and weak compared to everyone else, which grows into clinginess and possessiveness for the ones that DO choose him, because he's afraid they'll leave, which in turn pushes them away because he's being Weird About It. He has this habit of... sorting those closest to him into neat little boxes that reassure him (Nya as his girlfriend who loves him and finds him funny and won't leave him and Cole as his best friend who's loyal and supportive and also won't ever leave him, and, as you'll note, he's the one that starts both of these, with asking Nya out and proclaiming Cole as his bestie during Skybound.) And when those people step out of those boxes, the change unsettles him, and he panics and doubles down on his tactics, sometimes even resorting to violence (which makes things worse and pushes them away more and... you get it. it's a whole cycle.) So.. Nya and Cole and their interactions are very defined by What Jay Will Let Them Do, for the first few seasons. What won't set him off, what is Good and Innocent and won't make him insecure. S1-7 Jay would NOT have let the hand nuzzle happen. But I believe S8-15 Jay WOULD. Because he's actually secure in his relationship with Nya and they trust each other, and he trusts Cole, etc. etc.

And I feel like them having an undercurrent of romantic tension kind of spits in the face of that?? I dunno. It makes the intention a little wobbly. I like the idea that it comes from a place of camaraderie, where platonic love can also be deep and intimate and layered, and not just repressed romantic feelings. Because the thought that either of them are just pining and never having that resolved makes me sad for all three of them :(.

But I DO like to think that Cole is a little bit madly in love with all of his friends in different ways (just like me fr..) and Nya's the one he latched onto back in S3 because she's a girl and heteronormativity. Cole has a lot of love in his heart ok and he cares about them very very much 🥹. And he loves and supports them and maybe he wants to kiss some or all of them but he can't do that so he's fine where he is. really he is. he's fine. HES FINE!!! he's okay when she puts a hand on his shoulder and he doesn't know how to express that he loves her so so so much and he missed her but not in the way that Jay loves her, in a different way, but he feels like it's just as important but Jay obviously didn't see it that way and he doesn't know if he does now, and how he loves them all different but so so strongly and how can she and Jay even make it so simple it's so EASY for them to wear the Yin/Yang relationship label it just FITS even though none of those relationships are alike how can the same label work when the love is obviously so different and he doesn't know if Nya even could understand that, understand how much his heart bursts with affection and fondness for her and the others, but she DOES she DOES get how you can love someone so much that there maybe aren't correct words for it, that's why Jay was the one to propose because she was just happy the way they were, and she's happy the way they are now and she's happy the way she and Cole are now except she can't be because they keep getting TORN APART and they can't ever really be happy because they're all always in danger ALL THE TIMe- sorry got carried away aha.

but yeah. And then Jay is there. and i can't let myself think Abt Conya too long because I get really sad about him. bc he's not LIKE THAT. He doesn't Get It like they (and I haha was it clear I am maybe projecting) do. The labels are comforting to him, rather than unneeded or even restricting in the way they could never encompass the full force of the feelings. They're like signifiers that the love is real, is there, is Official, which isn't something the others need because they already take the loving as a fact and a given, and Jay doesn't! He doubts his relationships and needs the reassurance of the labels, to be able to say, definitively, "This is my Yang, which means we love eachother romantically and complete eachother and are missing a piece without eachother and" (do you see where the problem is. The proposal scene was so cute but I think about his little rambly speech a little too much BUDDY WITH ANY OTHER PERSON ITD BE CUTE BUT WITH YOU AND YOUR TRACK RECORD ITS CONCERNING) But that also means that when the "rules" are broken he thinks it means the love is also broken because now the label has been dismantled and that's! NOT TRUE!!! AHH!!!!!!!! I truly think he would be cured if he made out with someone other than Nya (w/ her permission obv) for like ten seconds but he would literally never do that. but it would fix him I know this in my heart if Nya told him to go out and get some bitches he would be cured of All of His Complexes he would experience Enlightenment through the knowledge that he could do that and his relationship with Nya would still be valid and their feelings wouldn't change just because he did it and he would ALSO get to kiss someone about it. Literally win-win. Maybe it could even be Cole. this is how mudshock shippers stay winning.

And THATS always been my biggest issue with Conya. They never know what to do with Jay. Because if he found out Nya doesn't love him and is IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND he would literally never recover all of his self worth issues that he overcame down the fucking drain bitch!! because everything bad he thought about himself has been proven true! AND THE REASON HE ACTS LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST FEW SEASONS IS BC THATS EXACTLY WHAT HES TERRIFIED OF HAPPENING!! And because he's so insecure and also has so much amatonormativity entrenched within him because the rules and restrictions reassure him, he's diametrically opposed to Conya! so I can't let myself have a Conya AU without Jay unpacking all of that and being Okay with people experiencing love differently, and then maybe realizing he doesn't have to love so restrictively anymore either, and THEN Conya can be whatever the fuck is going on with them in peace. Or he finds out Nya is in love with Cole and almost loses his shit before they both tell him they are also still in love with him. And he's like "oh thank God wait Cole ur in love with me" and that would fix him. Imagine thinking you're literally the worst and then you pull both Nya AND Cole while actively being kind of a jerk to them. how do you have the self worth issues after that shdbsjdb.

anyway go watch the video 👍

#ninjago #conya #jaya #mudshock #cole brookstone #nya jiang #nya smith #jay walker #the reason i dont talk a lot about Nya's POV is because it would be mostly about Skybound and that wasnt really relevant to anything else I #was talking about here. but i have sooo many thoughts about Nya and skybound and how she views relationships and commitment so.#if people want a part 2 to this weird rambly post??#bruiseshipping #←technically #tldr of this entire post is uhh. Aro Cole real??? Conya QPR real???? idk man #mudshockshipping

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lizzie-queenofmeigas · 2 months

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About Damon Salvatore

My understanding of Damon

So, for what we know, in his human life Damon was almost the sole caretaker of Stefan. Once his mother died (faked her death) he became his only parental figure, Damon was 16/17 at the time. However, he has assumed that role since he was much younger. In the flashbacks of season 7 we see Damon, that couldn't be older than fourteen, taking punishment for Stefan. The money was taken by their mother, Lily, but Damon thought Stefan had done it accidentally so he confessed to a crime neither commited. The punishment was his father putting out his cigarette on Damon's arm.

Damon also left the war not only because he hated it and didn't agree with it, but because Stefan sent him a letter that worried him. When he returned home he returned to Katherine. He fell in love with her, for a second he thought she had chosen him, but them came to accept that she also wanted Stefan. This is very sad, because for what we know his own parents always preferred Stefan and he always put his little brother first.

Starting his life as a vampire, his emotions heightened. Damon spent his human life taking care of his brother and with Katherine dead he didn't really want to keep living. Stefan forced him to turn (I don't blame him) and Damon was rightly pissed off about it. But even after that he stayed with him and once he left he first made sure that Lexi took care of him.

Flashforward to the 40s when Stefan and Damon met for the first time after 1912. They reconcile, but it's short lived, because for whatever reason Lexi hates Damon enough to not even tell Stefan why he didn't appear in the train station when he explicitly told her to tell him why. In the 40s Damon was also doing what he thought best for Stefan, even if what he thought best came mostly from Lexi's guilt-tripping.

And then the 50s happen. So far Damon has been a pretty standard vampire with plenty of humanity and control, he even goes to visit his human family when one of them calls him and says he needs help. Then he gets kidnapped by some crazy doctors and for the following five years he is tortured daily and the only reason he gets by is because he made a friend. A friend with whom he hatches a plan to escape, but who he can't save when the time comes. So, when he knows he can't save Enzo, he flippes the switch. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have left Enzo and could've died or be recaptured.

During the first year of his captivity Damon believed that Stefan was going to rescue him. Stefan never came.

In 1994 is when he starts getting his humanity back, but he kills Zach's wife and probably switches his flipp again.

How long has Damon being without his humanity? decades. We saw how Elena and Caroline where when they got back their humanity, and they didn't even had it off for a full year.

Damon's humanity wasn't fully on again until late season 1 and once it was he was a fucking mess. Drunk and depressed, which I don't think it was only because of Katherine.

In season two he still adjusting, and to that we have to add Katherine's return to fuck shit up and falling in love with Elena. Both things he doesn't know how to process. Which is why he was so hyper volatile in season 2.

In season three he is doing much better even with the worry of Stefan having left with Klaus.

In season three to season 4 we see a big development in Damon. He is getting better, having a better relationship with his brother and with the people around him.

Season 5 is complicated. Because Damon returns to the place where he was captive and tortured for five years. And this is Damon, he doesn't talk about his emotions, he doesn't even acknowledges when he is sad. In S5 Damon was suffering a lot from PTSD. I imagine that going back to a cell and meet with one of the survivors of a family that tortured you (especially after knowing that Aaron was close to Maxwell) wasn't easy. And yes, he did kill Aaron because he thought Elena broke up with him, but I highly doubt that was all.

And he didn't tell Stefan of what happened to him with Augustine, because he didn't want him to feel more guilty.

In season 6 and season 7 we once again see growth in Damon.

And in season eight he is being mind controlled like half of the season. It's a good thing that he turned human again, because processing all that happened in season 8 with the vampires emotions would send him in a spiral again.

All in all, Damon Salvatore is an incredibly mentally unstable man who does his best.

#damon salvatore #the vampire diaries #tvd #tvdu #tvd universe #elena gilbert #stefan salvatore #delena

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juminsmysticmc · 2 years

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Hi! Congrats once again. Can I ask about RFA and minor trio seeing MC loosing her calm and yelling at their child for the first time? Cause we all know that dealing with children can be really hard sometimes. Ofc if you are comfortable with that. Thank you and have a nice day <3

RFA + Minor Trio with an Mc who loses her calm and yells at her child for the first time

Hello there! Thank you, I am so happy that I passed! Of course dealing with child can be hard sometimes, like, dealing with me or my sis is also hard so, yeah! Hope you can enjoy this HC!

Have a nice day too!

Jumin

You were simply something special and a person with so much love and patience.

Jumin never saw you angry at someone because even if there was some kind of misunderstanding, you could stay calm and solve everything.

He never saw you frustrated or because you gave reassuring vibes.

You were special. You weren’t just a special woman, but also a special mother and Jumin could sense this daily.

Early in the pregnancy of your son, you and Jumin already agreed on parenthood with love and support to teach your child how to stay calm, even if it was stressful, so that your child could calm down on its own.

But you also made it clear that you wanted to raise your son to be a respectful child and not an ungrateful brat and Jumin totally supported you.

The two of you did well most of the time.

Usually, Jumin was the one who tended to be the harsher one when it was needed. Being confused and overwhelmed himself, he somehow forgot that his child was still a child.

Nevertheless, you were always there to make them both calm down.

Not today, however.

Your newborn daughter, barely nine months old, was crying nonstop.

You didn’t even get a wink of sleep, the RFA Party was hard to organize, and your six year old was constantly asking if he was allowed to have the iPad, even though screen time was already over.

Jumin was working and trying to calm down the baby.

Suddenly, it was too much.

,,For God’s sake!’’ you hissed loudly. Your face was red in rage. ,,I told you more than once ,,NO!’’ Stop it now! You won’t get any screen time for the next week! If you don’t stop now, I will-’’ you stopped yourself as you saw your son’s teary eyes.

Your heart was slowly breaking as the boy quickly stepped back and ran into his room.

The baby also stopped crying, but your heart didn’t.

Later on, Jumin made sure to bring you to the spa so that you could calm down after hugging you since you were crying.

,,He won’t love me anymore,’’ and ,,He hates me now!’’ were the words Jumin constantly heard.

But thanks to his supportive hugs, words, and a good sleep, you managed to get a clear mind before you went to your son to explain and apologize, as well as give him a lot of cuddles.

The screen time, however, was still forbidden for the next day.

Zen

Both of you had a rather hard childhood and right after the two of you found out that you were pregnant, you decided to have a deep talk about raising the child that you would give birth to.

You and Zen had pretty much the same imagination and things in mind, so it wasn’t a hard decision.

,,The most important thing in my opinion is that the child will be loved and supported,’’ he said as he placed his hand on your not- yet swollen belly, you agreed.

Perhaps the fact that the both of you had a rather complicated relationship with your parents had too much influence on the baby and so only three years later, your little princess was a spoiled one.

She was the first one to scream, but quickly calmed down as soon as she got whatever she wished.

Zen being the soft daddy of course, couldn’t handle saying anything negative to her and you, not wanting to be the bad guy, tried to always go easy on her.

The beautiful girl at some point, seemed to understand that she had the upper hand…

However, deep inside, the both of you knew that this wouldn’t be healthy for her as she was growing up and when the both of you found out that you were expecting a second child, you tried to be more strict.

No meant no and saying thank you or sorry was a must.

Not every toy was hers and the two of you were pretty proud to see that you could stay calm despite her screams of anger.

Not today, however.

You and Zen had an argument. Of course, one blamed the other for the bad behavior of the girl and your daughter was screaming and throwing a tantrum for thirty minutes about the candy that she wasn’t allowed to have yet.

Mood swings were also hard on you and so you snapped.

,,SERI!’’ you screamed loudly, glaring at her, making her shut up. ,,MOMMY IS REALLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW! I SAID NO!’’ you said, still much louder than usual.

,,Stop crying now! NO is NO!’’ you now stamped with your foot.

Zen, whose anger quickly became worry, quickly approached you. ,,Mc, stop now! You’re too stressed! You’re pregnant and she doesn’t understand… we’re the parents and we made a mistake,’’ he said and suddenly your heart was pounding in pain.

The girl stopped crying, but instead was shocked by her mother’s screams.

Zen quickly made you lay down and then went to his daughter to take her in his arms, explaining softly why she wasn’t allowed to eat candy before lunch and why mommy snapped.

Afterward, he brought you the little girl and the three of you cuddled a lot before Zen went to cook for his two favorite ladies.

Yoosung

It took you guys years, stressful years, before you could get pregnant.

You and Yoosung always agreed on having children and becoming a family, however, you weren’t blessed anytime soon.

It was only natural that when you got pregnant, you wanted that child to stay safe and protect it from any hardships.

Luckily, the pregnancy went well and Yoosung was the most caring father you could ever imagine.

As soon as the boy was there, it changed for both. You were pretty sensitive and feared that your baby could get sick and so did Yoosung.

Your child was loved and you did everything to protect them.

You also knew that you couldn’t possibly save it from any pain, but at least the things you could prevent were prevented by you.

One day, your son saw something more interesting and decided to stay longer in the park on his way coming from the school. Of course, he didn’t tell you and instead just stayed away.

It was a mistake an eight year old still couldn’t understand.

The boy came home three hours late, something he didn’t realize, just to find you devastated on the couch, crying hysterically while Jumin was standing in your living room.

Seven was at the table with his laptop, checking something.

,,Uncle Jumin! Uncle Seven! I‘m happy that you came for a visit!“ the little boy smiled as soon as he opened the door.

Your heart skipped a beat.

,,Are you crazy?!“ you snapped. Everyone held their breath as no one ever heard you yell like this.

Not even Yoosung.

,,What do you think we’re doing here?! Did you realize that you‘re three hours late?!“ you asked him.

,,I went to your school, I called your teachers, friends, everyone! They are searching for you right now! Where the heck were you?! I WAS WORRIED!“ you hiccuped and hugged the little boy who was standing in the door frame.

,,I saw some flowers and wanted to pick them for you…I‘m sorry,“ he said as he slowly began to sob.

By now, Yoosung was holding the both of you in his embrace while the other two guests sighed in relief.

Jaehee

You and Jaehee were a few years into your relationship when at some point you had the feeling that something was missing.

A child, someone to love and care for, was always your biggest wish.

The wish died down after you got to know Jaehee, loving her with all your heart. However, you soon wanted to grow.

The both of you had a serious talk about that topic and agreed on adopting a child since the both of you wanted to give children a better home.

It was a hard and long journey until you could finally call yourselves parents, but soon afterward, you finally had your chance.

Years went by, happy and sad moments arrived, and hard periods, fears, and worries were never missing.

However, in those 15 years, you never ever lost your calm.

Until now.

,,You’re not my real parents anyway!’’ the cute boy you and Jaehee adopted years ago snapped violently at you.

Jaehee was standing behind you when he said those words and you could only hear her gasp before you heard her sobs.

The words he just threw at you, hit you like a big stone.

It was painful to hear him saying that. You were truly disappointed, especially because the argument that triggered him was minor.

But puberty hit him hard. Nevertheless, this was not a reason to respond like this.

One thing led to another and you suddenly snapped at the beloved child. The child you gave up a lot of things for.

,,We’re not? Who raised you? Calmed you down when you were crying or had a fever? Tended to your injury or cleaned up your vomit? US! And that’s the thanks?

Go out now and go to your ,,real parents’’! You’re so ungrateful! GO!’’ your voice was loud.

Very loud.

The boy stood there in front of you and couldn’t even respond anymore.

,,Mom…’’ he then called you.

,,Mom… Mom, I’m sorry…. I’m sorry to both of you! I’m sorry, I was angry, I didn’t mean it, sorry, Mom…’’ he hiccuped.

Jaehee quickly approached the crying boy and hugged him, his head on her chest like years ago when he came home crying because he fell.

,,Don’t ever say something like that again!’’ she sobbed as she held his trembling body.

Suddenly, you cried too, tears falling as you realized what had just happened.

Jaehee and your son quickly hugged too before the three of you cried for a few minutes on the floor, everyone embracing each other.

Holding the body of the other one, mumbling apologies and just crying…

Saeyoung

Life with Saeyoung was never calm.

After Saeran moved in with the both of you and everything calmed down, the two of you finally decided to get married.

Shortly afterward, you discovered you were pregnant with twins, which was already a big ruckus.

Everyone was excited, overjoyed and so were you and Saeyoung who couldn’t wait to meet the fruit of your love.

Things happened, they learned to say ,,Elly’’ first to your displeasure, learned how to crawl, walk, and speak properly…

Life was just going. Of course, little accidents happened, which always were pretty much scary, giving each of you a heart attack.

For example, the one time when you got into an accident with the youngest twin, Saeyoung was traumatized for a while.

Life was exciting with him by your side.

It was even more so after he got you pregnant once again.

The third baby, a girl after the twins, was a sickly one, but still wonderful and cute.

Saeyoung loved her dearly and so did her older brothers, but despite them loving her and wanting to protect her, they also loved to tease her and play tricks on her.

It was fine with you because the jokes they made were always harmless, no one was hurt, and she always laughed with them.

But this time the joke wasn’t funny.

,,I think you’re going to die this time,’’ you could hear a twin say.

,,What?’’ her little voice filled with panic asked, her eyes making contact with yours as you tried to reassure her that she was fine.

,,Stop it right now young man. Don’t scare her,’’ you said once.

But the second twin joined and Saeyoung, instead of stepping in, just giggled to himself.

,,What would you give to me once you’re buried?’’ your son asked and suddenly you slammed your hand on the table.

Everyone flinched.

,,I SAID STOP! Don’t you see that she’s scared?! Are you trying to give her trauma?! So that every time she gets sick, she will be scared to death?! Is this what a brother should do?! Should I trigger you too?!’’ you asked him, quickly taking the crying, trembling girl in your arms, pointing with the index finger at Saeyoung.

,,You should understand the best after what your brother went through. I’m disappointed in you,’’

Everyone quickly understood that they overstepped boundaries and quickly tried to apologize. Since then, the jokes were done through fuller…

Saeran

,,Did you take the tomatoes?’’ you asked Saeran, the list in your hand as you tried to check if you took everything in your cart.

The little boy’s birthday was coming up, which meant a lot of preparations.

He was into the Disney Movie ,,Finding Nemo’’ and so everything was ocean themed.

The cake was already ordered, the decorations were bought, only the food was missing.

Luckily, Jumin agreed on helping you guys with the preparations and Yoosung was more than happy to help you guys.

Honestly, the whole RFA was totally into it. After all, your little son was just too cute.

However, it was also stressful.

Especially because you were pregnant, everything felt 10 times worse than it usually would be.

,,Yes, I did. Do we need more candy?’’ he asked you. Thanks to you, he was able to prepare his son’s birthday, something he never imagined years ago when he was still following Rika while hating his twin brother.

,,Yes, it’s better to have too many, right, son?’’ you asked your son, the eyes still fixed on the list as you waited for a response.

Silence.

No answer, no laugh, no wishes, nothing.

Your heart was already pounding when you looked around, searching for the little boy in a dark blue shirt with his red hair.

,,Taewon?’’ you called your son’s name, your breathing getting shorter as you looked around yourself.

Panic overcame the both of you.

Many, too many scenarios were in your head as you looked out for the boy.

Saeyoung was still missing, it wasn’t certain if he was still alive, so what if your boy got kidnapped too?

Saeran dialed Jumin’s number, who quickly arrived to support you just like the other members.

The shop was closed and Saeran made sure to stay at the entrance to keep an eye on people who wanted to go out.

Suddenly, you saw something moving, then a few red hairs were spotted by your eyes.

,,ARE YOU CRAZY, TAEWON?!’’ you yelled so loudly that Saeran shrieked.

The last time he heard you screaming was when you gave birth.

,,Never ever do this again! Do you understand me?!’’ you asked him. The teary boy only nodded and before he could even mumble anything, you hugged him.

His warmth was against your body as you sobbed into his dark clothes.

It was a horrible shock, but you found him.

This was the most important thing.

Jihyun

Your mother called you for the sixth time in a row while you were sitting in front of the laptop, trying to find a decent person to speak to as their hotel was booked wrong by a worker.

The RFA was kind of childish and stressed you out with the upcoming RFA party and your abdomen was aching because you were just about to be on your period.

Everything was coming up, stressing you out and making you nervous.

No one was willing to help you.

You still had to cook lunch, wash your hair, and clean up the house.

You still wanted to do so many things and somehow you had the feeling that you weren’t going anywhere.

The goal you were rooting for was somehow getting further and further away.

Instead, feelings of frustration were coming over you.

You were beginning to feel annoyed and so, when Lucy asked you if she could go out, you quickly denied her wish.

,,It’s cold, we need to get prepared, I have so much to do, you should help me instead,’’ you said, trying not to sound too strict.

However, the little girl didn’t like that answer.

,,I’m never allowed to do whatever I want to do! You’re so mean!’’ she hissed at you, throwing your papers on the ground.

You weren’t the person to hiss, yell, or snap, but Lucy managed to make you snap at her.

You were screaming and hissing at each other, when Jihyun hurried up to the both of you to check on the situation.

Only he was able to calm you both down, make you stop yelling.

You quickly realized that this wasn’t the way the both of you agreed on raising a child and quickly made sure to calmly explain to Lucy why you reacted like that.

She understood, something you were glad about, and she even supported you with your tasks, as best as she could.

Vanderwood

When you first told Vanderwood that you were expecting his child, he sighed.

You feared the worst, but he quickly cleared up the misunderstanding.

,,If it’s a girl, I just hope that she will get my DNA of cleaning up,’’ he smiled.

You lightly slapped him as he took you in his arms, thanking you for giving him a family.

The pregnancy went well, nothing happened, no worries, and no surprise.

You were just annoyed 24/7.

Whenever something went wrong, you were in a bad mood.

You were snappy and if you weren’t snappy, you were crying.

Vanderwood actually thought that your daughter turned out to be a little diva because of your mood swings.

,,Was I really annoying?’’ you asked him, a bit sad about his remark.

Vanderwood just nodded and kissed you on your cheek.

,,You were, and it’s actually surprising that you always stayed calm whenever she mocked you,’’ he commented, pointing with his eyes towards the ten year old who was doing something.

You laughed, nodded, and held his hand.

,,It is, but I promised myself to give her a happy childhood and to raise her into a good person,’’ you told him.

However, not everything could always be solved by explaining feelings and actions.

Sometimes, the first reaction was also to be a bit louder.

,,Please don’t play with the candle, cutie,’’ you said once.

,,Please don’t play with the candle,’’ she repeated, her finger still touching and playing with the candle which was lit.

You looked over to her, inhaled, and repeated yourself. ,,I’m serious. Stop mocking me and please stop playing with the fire, literally. You will burn yourself and I don’t want to see you hurt,’’ you said, trying to explain why you didn’t want her to play with it.

,,You will burn yourself,’’ she said again. This time she even rolled her eyes as her finger went slower through the flame.

This was too much for you.

You snapped and called her name loudly, making her shriek.

Her hand was now close to her chest as she looked at you with scared eyes.

,,I TOLD YOU STOP MOCKING ME AND STOP PLAYING WITH THE FIRE!’’ you yelled so loudly that Vanderwood came jumping from his room.

He looked between the both of you and warned his daughter with his eyes.

,,Did you play with the candle?’’ he asked her.

,,AND MOCKED MOMMY!’’ you snapped again.

,,I… I did wrong,’’ she gasped, her eyes again going to her mother as she bowed her head.

,,I know that I should have stopped when you warned me once,’’ she apologized.

With that, you approached her and hugged her, telling her that it was okay but to please never ever do it again…

ᗰᗩᔕTEᖇᒪIᔕT

29.05.2022 // 13:21 MEST

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welcometomyoasis · 3 months

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-🌱

omg okay first of all im so sorry i spammed your inbox, second of all (😊) heres the link (ofc i wanna be moots!!!) https://www.tumblr.com/nonononranghaee/741224622870216704/met-the-other-half-fair-warning-shes-a-loser?source=share

(But i just wanna let you know that this is like a shared (?) account b/w me and like a friend (i write and she manages the account) and for some reason i can't send asks with this acc that aren't anonymous which is why i used this one😭. I had to beg her to send the photos because it just wasn't working. and omg lets be moots!!!)

Okay and third of all, i so agree with you. I totally believe that love did in fact exist once and i also have gone what i thought was a crush but in fact all i wanted was to be friends with the person. But i really dont believe it exists now. (This is ironic as im literally writing soulmate au fics right now) but yeah. I cant honestly say ive ever had a crush in my life. I told this to my friends and they were like what abt your parents? and the thing is i believe that they got married and then started to care for each other and become affectionate. I dont think they love each other, i do think they care for eachother. There are sm stories in my religion that show the love i believe in, like so many and idk i feel like of they existed 1400+ years ago they should exist now but they dont. And youre right, true love is like equal balance, its not one person being obsessed, its not both people not caring. Its equal. And youre so right abt the right person wrong time things but the thing is sometimes ppl find a really good person and then they cheat. idk i just really want to believe in love but i dont. its more like i believe in the idea of love, not its reality.

And again so sorry for the deep talks (idk what it is abt you shu you make it so easy to talk to you!) have the bestest day! and god help me because i managed to start soulmate au fic 2 but ive only done like 300 words. I cannot wait for the angst fics!!! also ly take care!! and sorry for the spam!

-🌱 (call me hafs if you want but being called 🌱 anon brings me sm memories, and is so so super adorable)

(my friend's a computer whizz so imma ask her to try and fix my tumblr so i can send you asks w/o being anonymous!!!)

first of all, don't worry about spamming my inbox! i'm sorry if i take longer to reply... also i just followed you <3 idk whether you can see it or follow me back? is that account a secondary one or a primary one because secondary accounts (or side blogs) can't send asks or follow people. but i'm just going to take it that we're moots okay 🤭 have a good day lovely! ly and take care too!

rest of my reply below the cut. warnings: cheating

soulmate aus are different, they are based on the idealised notion/ belief that there is someone out there who is fated to be with us. it's supposed to be an au for a reason so it's totally normal to write about it but not believe that true romantic love really exists.

of course, i totally agree with you that someone could find a really good person and then cheat. that's not right at all. in those cases, to me, it's that the cheater was taking their s/o for granted.

romantic love as a whole is just very very complicated. there are too many nuances and specificities in every single relationship's dynamics. i think it's totally normal and it's completely okay to not believe in romantic love. it's okay to question something which is romanticised (no pun intended) because of how reality plays out. it's normal to become disillusioned with what we've seen as we grow up. what is considered ideal or the perfect, true romantic love in our minds or even what is sold to us as true romantic love in tv shows, books etc., does not translate to reality, and that's just life? that said, personally, i still believe in the concept of love because there are so many different forms. familial love, self-love, platonic love etc. romantic love, i still hope to be able to have that one day, but for now, i think it's just a dream or delusion i tell myself...

seriously, you don't need to say sorry about all the deep talks haha. i actually love really deep talks and discussions like this. i could spend hours talking about these things.

aww thank you for saying that i'm easy to talk to, you're really easy and fun to talk to as well! and omg go you can do it! starting a fic/ any piece of writing is always the hardest part so good job for getting over that hurdle! i got to get some work done but i promise to check out the fic soon okay! i might reblog from my side blog @\hansooasis if i'm not online here!

also just putting it out there, you can send me asks or dms, i really don't mind either way. but if you do dm me, maybe dm me from my side blog? it's linked to my phone so i actually check it more haha.

#letters for shu ✏༝༚༝༚#anons ✮⋆˙#🌱 anon ✮⋆˙#hafs ⋆˙⟡♡#shu's moots ᰔᩚ

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blues-valentine · 2 years

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I agree with you that Gina was the perfect casting choice for Anna not only it’s because she is super talented but she can also relate to Anna on emotional level. Both Anna and Gina have had a distant relationship with their older sibling at some point in their life. Gina may not have an older sister like Anna does but, she does have an older brother who she has a distant relationship just like how Anna had a distant relationship with Elsa at the beginning of Frozen.

I didn’t really liked the idea of Frozen at first but I’m loving it now because it truly can reflect the characters emotional journey and it’s the most accurate cast they’ve picked so far. Gina and Kourtney needed their moment to shine as leading ladies. I think the plot for Beauty & The Beast last season wasn’t used as well as it should’ve been when it comes to develop the characters plot. I saw some people pointing out Maddox and Jet being siblings and Frozen being about sisters and their complicated relationship so is very interesting and exploring those themes is going to be so reflective and needed for a lot of people because sibling relationships aren’t easy. I also never took into account Gina's relationship with his brother as a parallel to Anna, that’s interesting. I still believe it was a such a wasted plot point because they only used Jamie as a plot device for Nini.

Gina reminds me of Anna this season a lot even removing the sibling dynamic because Anna at the very start of the movie is so optimistic but a little naive about life and love, which is what we are seeing from her right now. I won’t go much into details because I have a longer post about this exact thing – I’m just waiting for the episode to drop so I can make my analysis.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts season 3 #gina porter #asks

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that-thing-that-feeling · 2 years

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I've seen a lot of sentiment that's like hopper's in the picture now so Jonathan can stop being a parent and just be a normal brother finally and this is his happy ending and I get where that's coming from but I also don't think it works like that? You can't really undo parentification. Maybe with some practical things like cooking meals, contributing financially etc, Hopper could take over, take some pressure off, but when you've raised someone for most of their life, even if you didn't ask to, even if it's unfair that you had to do that, you can't just suddenly flip that off and say ok someone else is taking over now. And Will can't just transfer what he has with Jonathan over to Hopper. Even if he develops a good step-parent relationship with Hop, if Jonathan moved away and focused on himself and interacted with Will the way a typical older brother in college did (calling maybe once a week), that would be pretty traumatic for both of them. As much as it might sound nice to just undo the parentification and 'set Jonathan free' you can't unparentify a relationship like that and I don't think Jonathan would want to either. It would also be a pretty big leap from 'I don't want you to forget that I'm here and I'm always going to be here' to then have him leave for another state. I dunno, just some thoughts.

Hmm you raise some great points—especially that it isn’t just some easy, fast transfer. Jonathan and Will would both have to build a relationship with Hopper that has trust (we saw in s1 Jonathan seemed to have some trust of Hopper). And Jonathan won’t just magically get rid of what being parentified has done to him—it made him grow up very early, have a lot of pressure put on him, and has caused anxiety. He’s also never dealt with Lonnie’s abuse.

However, I think that Hopper becoming a step- father to them would take important pressures off Jonathan. He’s always going to remain incredibly close to his family and be loyal and loving and present with them. I think he would feel comfortable going to a college out of state (altho the financial issues might still be a barrier). I don’t think his worry for them will ever really go away. And he’d majorly have to work on his trauma. Also his role as someone who helped raise Will from a young age needs to be acknowledged—it’s one of the reasons you really need Joyce and Jonathan to talk, and Jonathan and Hopper, Will and Joyce, Jonathan and Will. But Will could still feel that Jonathan is there for him even if he went away; Jonathan would make sure they remain close. Altho he could also always feel like he should be there more. I think he’d always try to be there more for Will and Joyce more than other people who haven’t experienced what they have would.

But I agree with you that the feeling doesn’t just magically go away, and it’s a process, and leaves lingering affects. What bothers me is that the show has a teen that they seem to have forgotten has been parentified, so you feel like they’ve just lost how complex that really is and what that does and they just won’t address it. And if they don’t, where does that really leave Jonathan? It just seems to leave him stuck with all his issues still there.

Btw I also don’t think it’s just like he’s either free from his family or he’s weighed down by them, as some have framed it. I really don’t like it when people frame it as he either has the “burden” of his family or the “freedom” of his relationship. That’s so reductive. When you’re a small family who has been through a lot, it’s just way more complicated. And partly it’s his family that has helped make him sensitive, loyal, loving, even as it’s also put things on him he shouldn’t have had to experience. But yeah it wouldn’t be an either/or with him and there’s a lot he needs to confront to have more balanced familial relationships, relationships, friendships, feelings about himself (like his self esteem seems to have really taken a hit this season).

#jonathan byers #joyce byers #will byers #Jim hopper #byers fam <3

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abysscronica · 2 years

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I agree with what you said about night 6! Especially about how it can get so complicated, as I also know people irl who have been on both sides of similar circumstances. It just gets so confusing, tho I get it. But I think in like chapter….11? I forgot, but it’s when Kid tries to get answers on why she came back. But when birdie asks why he didn’t r*pe her, and he responds that he did, that was supposed to be showing his own confusion on that night, right? Or him just being difficult idk, as both ways can be likely for his character from my pov. Buuut, doesn’t that start to open another can of worms? In that if he does think he did it, why does it not seem to bother him; since we eventually see that he does feel guilty for putting her in distress in other situations in that flashback with Killer?

Also, really glad to hear about the cathartic writing! Makes me happy that writing the story has been helpful on your end as a writer!! AND! Just read your Anime Expo log and loved it! Incredibly happy you got to meeting Tekking and that he seems like a genuinely nice person (personally, he’s my favorite to watch because his energy and excitement for One Piece is contagious). But also, the merch thing sucks :/ Ik you are probably based in Europe, but are there any cons you recommend that are good for finding decent merch and pricing? Or, any recommendations on buying figures that aren’t ridiculously overpriced? Thanks for engaging with me btw :]

Hey, thank you for the question!

Kid's feelings regarding the whole situation are in continuous evolution during Captive, mostly according to the development of his relationship with birdie, but they fluctuate a lot in between as well.

The scene you're referring to, when he states he did in fact assault her, was indeed showing his confusion. So when birdie says he didn't, it sorta felt like a subconscious absolution for him. For the following weeks he chose not to think about it (as did she), keeping in the back of his mind something like "if she's okay, then it doesn't matter".

Only later, when he sees how easy it is to trigger a crisis in her, Kid realizes that was all bullshit, and he's forced to face what he did and the repercussions it had on birdie.

It doesn't matter if he didn't bring up this specific topic with Killer, it's not something he easily talked about, he conveyed what he needed and Killer knows how to fill the blanks.

Kid's feeling in hindsight will be explored a little better in Bonds.

#eustass kid x birdie #captive

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sistervirtue · 2 years

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ok so my crush is my best friend ive known since birth. i dont even know where to start with him because he feels like everything to me. crush doesnt even feel anywhere close to describing it i genuinely feel hes the love of my life and he does so much for me i sometimes wonder if im bringing anything to the table (i am and i know i am) juet because he makes me feel so much more complete and capable and whole and ahhh everything. i know he cares about me and loves me and we say it everytime we talk and what started as joking about getting married and being in love is now 100% genuine to me and i know hes not lying per se but im not sure how deep it goes on his end and ive tried genuinely confessing several times and its just so similar to the way we talk to each other regularly that it doesnt go anywhere bc he just takes it as banter. hes said to my face that hes terrible at identifying flirting and people need to be direct (which. why did he feel the need to tell me that LOL) and theres a million things i can say and ive asked out everyone ive ever dated and i KNOW no matter what ill be the one to make the first move (this is not a bad thing, im a very honest and forward person and im used to it and like it this way it just gets a bit stressful sometimes) but like. ok this is kinda late to mention but hes aro but weve both talked about our complicated feelings about romance and relationships and such bc i have a very hard time maintaining feelings for someone after we get together (idk why its pretty annoying lol) and he can be very interested in dating one day and have no interest the next and i dont want to ask him out and him to feel guilty for not being interested in a romantic relationship with me or like. at all and i really dont want him to feel guilty and i know he will if i can manage to confess outright and the answer is no bc anxiety 😭😭 and if we did get together im terrified of losing feelings for him because he means so much to me and to lose that seems dreadful and i genuinely cannot imagine a world without him because he like. is the only person who helps me focus and got me to do college dorm stuff and a million other things i couldnt convince myself to and also like. were moving into dorms together this fall 😭😭 like if i ask him out and it goes sideways for any reason were going to live together and like. hes my oldest friend and i doubt our relationship would be so easy to destroy but im scared ill do it anyways ☹☹

oh man.....what a situation to be in

i agree that i dont think a romance confession would destroy your relationship, though, even if you get turned down. most of my exes and i remained amicable after breaking up, and when i turned people crushing on me down, i never got the impression that we should stop being friends. the line between friendship and romance is pretty thin.

either way, i hope it works out for you

#long post

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edoro · 2 years

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Hi!! I love hearing your thoughts about TOH and I’ve really been going back and forth on the answer for this myself, so I wanted to ask you about how you think Belos truly feels about Hunter. It’s obvious that Hunter loves him dearly, despite being afraid of him. But do you think Belos loves Hunter in return? You’ve said that Belos feels contempt for him, which I definitely agree with, but with the meager interactions of them we’ve seen, I feel like he also treats Hunter with genuine affection, and maybe, somehow, he does feel a fondness for him that can’t be explained away by “oh he’s just very useful to me” - or he might have fooled me too there idk lol.

at this point i honestly don't know! i think that given what we've seen in the canon, it could go several ways. if it turned out that he never felt any real affection for Hunter and was just manipulating him and stringing him along the entire time, i wouldn't be surprised, and i think that the writing team could make it work.

that being said, i do find that slightly boring! i just find an abuse narrative much more compelling if there is genuinely love/fondness/affection on both sides of the relationship, and it still ends up being this twisted nightmare.

i also like to play with different ideas of ways Belos could relate to Hunter when i'm just spitballing scenarios back and forth - different levels of closeness vs distance, warmth vs coldness, how freely given his affection is or how hard Hunter has to work to earn it, how various aspects of his abuse of Hunter end up actually being expressed, all of that.

overall, though, i think his feelings towards Hunter are complicated.

i do think he must feel some level of contempt towards Hunter for how easy he is to manipulate, how readily he swallows whatever Belos gives him. but that scene in s2e9 did feel like it involved genuine affection at some points. i got the impression that Belos enjoyed having someone to look up to him, having someone who he could tell stories about himself to, regale with tales of his exploits, someone who he could teach and lead.

before s2e12, i got the impression from Belos that he's someone who wants to leave a legacy of some sort, and therefore that he would enjoy being a mentor of sorts, and that it pleased and satisfied him to take that role with Hunter. i don't really think that anymore tho. perhaps we can extrapolate that from the diary - that he wanted to craft a narrative with himself as the hero at the center of it, then leave it for the public to read - or from the particular persona he adopts for his manipulation - the kindly old grandpa, the warmly paternal leader - or even from Philip's particular way of seeming to see and present himself as the cruelly downtrodden heroic victim - but i'm not so sure!

because with that line about how "i only need to live long enough to see this through", it seems that Philip was (and Belos, presumably, still is) laser-focused on some kind of goal to the exclusion of all else. he doesn't care about his health, his reputation, his appearance, his own comfort, even his own life. he doesn't intend or expect to live past the completion of this plan. we don't know exactly what it is, although we have a lot of pieces and we can certainly make some guesses. to me, though, that's not the behavior or attitude of a man concerned with his legacy.

(then, we could argue that he simply wants his accomplishments to live on after he is dead. could work! i don't know, though.)

maybe he does enjoy that! it's certainly a very common type of love and affection for an abuser to hold for their victim - not the acceptance and love towards a whole person and what they bring into one's life, but instead the indulgent enjoyment of a captive audience. the ability to mold and control someone else. a type of love that's mirrored by and rooted in that sense of contempt: the love a puppetmaster has for a particularly well-crafted, familiar puppet.

so he might enjoy having Hunter around to make him feel important and valuable. he might enjoy receiving that sort of unconditional awe Hunter regards him with. he might enjoy having Hunter around as an outlet for his anger, or as someone who he can entrust his vulnerabilities to, safe in the knowledge that he controls Hunter so utterly, the prospect of Hunter rejecting or hurting him is simply impossible.

i also definitely think that whatever feelings he has for Hunter are very much shaped by his relationship with his brother. i'm so curious about it. the brother's absence from the diary is incredibly notable, as is that doodle we saw in s2e12. i've seen people suggest that the brother might have drawn it, because no way would someone as self-aggrandizing as Philip portray himself being overshadowed that way, but honestly to me, that's a misinterpretation of Philip's character (and this is just me basing this on my personal familiarity with the Type Of Guy he comes across as.)

to me, though, the sad clown aspect is crucial. putting himself across as this slightly pathetic person who needs help, the killdeer fluttering its broken wing, downtrodden and rejected by the very world, held in contempt and let down by all who cross his path, it's a manipulation tactic, but it's not just purely manipulation. he genuinely sees himself as the heroic victim, and the 'hero' and 'victim' parts are both equally important there.

he feels as though everyone else considers themselves better than him, that they mistreat and try to take advantage of him, that nobody truly understands him - and he's angry about this, because he thinks he's better than them, and he's going to prove them all wrong. the fact that he's so unfairly treated justifies his behavior towards others, in his mind. he is better, so he deserves to be at the top of the hierarchy and be the one using and discarding others. he's the one who's really entitled to it. he deserves it, they just don't know it yet, and so he's going to turn their own sense of superiority back around on them.

that's my take - that his entitlement and sense of superiority aren't just straightforward, and his oh-woe-is-me act isn't just an act. they're all wound up in these many layers of aggrieved entitlement, a sense that he's the only person who has feelings and that therefore any wound to his feelings is the worst thing ever, and because no one else is supposed to be a person but they all keep stubbornly acting like they are, he keeps constantly getting his overblown ego hurt and lashing out furiously, because he has no other way of soothing or dealing with that.

all of which is to say, i think Philip drew that doodle, and i think it represents his feelings about his relationship to his brother - that his brother was the leader between the two of them and that Philip existed in his shadow. maybe he really relied on his brother. maybe he loved him. maybe he felt resentful. probably kind of all of the above.

anyway, although we don't quite know just what a grimwalker is or what the process for creating one is, whether Philip/Belos has already done it or whether Hunter is going to be the final ingredient for one or whether Hunter is one and is therefore the culmination of several hundred years of effort and experimentation, i think it's extremely clear that 1) Philip's brother was significant and 2) there is some sort of connection between him and Hunter, which leads to -

3) Hunter's entire life with Belos has been shaped by Belos's relationship with a man who Hunter doesn't even know existed. Hunter lives in the shadow of that relationship, and it's like a fish not knowing what water is. he has no context for the shape of the thing he exists within. he has no context for the idea that there's anything outside of it.

and that's a piece of the puzzle we just don't have yet. i can extrapolate and assume, but we don't know what Philip's brother was like or what Philip's relationship with him was like. therefore, we don't quite know all of the baggage that Belos brings to his relationship with Hunter, and we also don't know what purpose Hunter is meant to serve.

i do think that Hunter must represent something much more than just a family member to Belos. he's a symbol of some sort. maybe he's just a tool, maybe he's a conduit, maybe he's a sacrifice. maybe he's an attempt on Belos's part to prove himself right about something, or maybe he's an attempt to make up for a past wrong. whatever it is, though, i think that ultimately, even if Belos is fond of Hunter, Hunter's status as an object and a symbol matters more than his existence as a person.

#hunter toh #emperor belos #philip wittebane #the owl house #meta #long post oops #asks

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postalenha · 3 years

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on and off % jake

pairing: playboybf!jake x reader genre: angst, fluff, lovers to exes, exes to lovers idek word count: 1.89k words requested: yes / prompt 14, “we called it off again last night.” / 18, “it’s been you all along.” / 19, “for the first time, i had something to lose.” synopsis: immaturity isn't needed in a relationship, but that seems to be jake's and your's specialty. warnings: curse words, mentions of drinking, throwing up, su!cide, toxic relationship, making out

"i thought you're going with jake today?" sunghoon asked as you hop into his car.

you rolled your eyes at the thought of riding in the same vehicle as the boy, "no, we called it off again last night."

"again?!" the boy exclaimed, "y/n, that's probably the nth time you guys called it off." he sighed in disbelief, "that's not how relationships work." he commented.

judgingly looking at his way, "yeah? like you know any better?"

"shut up." he started the engine, "this isn't about my love life."

"whatever." you blurt out, "i guess being bad at handling relationship runs in our blood." you jokingly said, as your cousin laugh.

he tilt his head smiling, "damn, of all things that can be passed down, that's what we got."

"well, at least we got good looks. that works as a payoff." he added. you agreed at him with a nod, "anyway." you changed the subject.

"i'm planning on ending it with jake." you stated. he looked at you, "no shit, you sure?" he assured, "to be honest, whatever makes you happy." he added, looking like he wanted to say something but he decided not to.

"don't apologize." you led before he could even say sorry for insisting that you should date his best friend, sim jaeyun.

"i'm not- okay whatever." he almost want to deny the urge but he saw you looking at him with a teasing face, "i just feel a little responsible for all the stress this relationship have caused you." he scratch the back of his head, as you slap his arm.

"shut up, dating him was my decision. you don't have to blame yourself for all the bad decisions i made for myself. i'm an adult now." you told him.

parking his car he nod his head, "okay. just remember i'm here if things are bad, okay?"

"okay." you said, before going out of his car. walking at the corridor of your building, trying to see if jake arrived earlier than you today.

and he certainly did. there he is on his designated seat beside the window, silently watching as the wilted leaves fall down from the tree.

the clock ticks time faster than you expected and your professor came in, not able to call out for jake's name to even talk to him.

sitting down to a chair, you told yourself that you'll talk to him later. and here you are, in front of jake sim at the rooftop of your university's main building.

it might be your lucky day for no one else is here but the two of you. this place is usually cramped with so many people and miraculously today isn't one of those days.

this may be one of the many signs sent from above that this relationship should end as it wasn't right from the beginning.

your blood boils as your cousin sunghoon pushes you into the table of his friend group, "come on! you wouldn't lose anything! he just want to talk to you." he shouts.

"then tell him i don't want to!" you shout back a little annoyed. the last thing you want to do tonight is talk to the famous serial dater, jake sim. "for i know, he just wants the best out of me!"

"come on! jake's not like that!" he defended his friend. to be honest, sunghoon is the last person you should be ranting to. for he is just like his friend, they play with girl's hearts for fun.

you rolled your eyes as you reach the table of ego. the decision of naming that wasn't yours, but the other students. they called this the table of ego because everyone in here got some solid ego. heeseung, jay, sunghoon, jake. all of them.

"y/n! you actually came!" heeseung cheered as soon as he saw you, he scooted a little bit on his right to leave some space between him and jake, "come sit!"

sitting beside him was probably one of the decisions you will forever regret in your life. the memory of that night was a blur. you barely recall anything that happened then.

the only thing that you remember was when jake was reaching for a kiss, you accidentally threw up on him before passing out.

the next day, he told you to be his girlfriend to compensate with the mess you gave his brand new shirt. you said yes just so he could shut up, telling yourself you'll break up with him after a day or two.

two months then passed and you are just breaking everything now. well, it's better late than never. you just didn't expect that he would actually be a good boyfriend.

he's mostly good, not until everything gets complicated even with nothing. you fight over the smallest thing like, not being able to respond to each other's text to someone getting jealous.

it wasn't the best relationship you've been in but it was a good experience. you learned so much and now, it's time to move on.

"what is it that you wanted to say?" jake impatiently snapped you back into reality. you swallowed a good amount of saliva before saying, "let's break up."

it was better to say it forward than beating around the bush. with this, more time and energy will be saved. because even if you give him an explanation he probably won't listen.

he slowly blinked and sighed, looking away he said "okay. if that's what you want." see. he wouldn't even bother asking you why.

well, if you get things easy. they would also go easily, "okay. it was fun meeting you." you head out, leaving him there.

he most probably would not be so upset that he might think of jumping off the building, but you still prayed that he wont.

and he didn't. you can guarantee that as you see that three weeks later jake sim is with a woman walking the same isle as you are. the chances of you seeing him here at this huge mall was small, but never impossible.

you grabbed your friend's hand trying to hide from the sight of the man, "what are you doing-"

"shut up, jake is here." you told here looking at their way, walking into a clothing store. you hurriedly go and sit at a restaurant far from them and ordered food when your friend speak up.

"y/n, what's the point of hiding now when you guys already broke up?" she patheticly looked at you who's trying to hide from a menu list.

putting the menu list down on the table, you crossed your arms, "i am not hiding from him. i simply don't want to involve myself with anything that has to do with him."

"yeah, like seeing him in a shopping mall involves you with him." she said with full sarcasm. "you have no idea how pathetic that sounded."

not listening to anything she said, you started eating your pasta. almost choking when you saw a familliar figure walk in the restaurant.

trying your best to lean down and not get noticed you hear your friend call, "jake!" you kick her feet under the table as you see jake wave back and walks closer.

"what the fuck did you just do?" you whispered at her, she just smiles like an idiot as jake reach your table.

"hello, jia." he greeted your friend, "hi, y'n."

flashing a fake smile, you said "hi." satisfied with how annoyed you are, jia announced "you guys can join us! we got two extra seats here."

"we don't want to intrude-" you cut him off, "yes, there are a lot of vacant tables. they sure can find their own, right?"

serving a glass of wine, a waiter says "oh, we're fully booked, ma'am. so if you want to eat here, you have to wait for another hour or so." he said pouring some on your glass. "if you'll excuse me."

"it would be rude if we don't invite you right? so join!" your friend cheered as the girl jake's with sit next to you.

taking a sip of your wine whenever jake helps the girl cut her steak, you became unaware of how drunk you are. "so, when did you meet jake?" you asked the girl.

to be frank, she was quiet the whole time. just sitting there, not saying a thing but a "thanks." whenever jake helps her with anything.

"you can't answer that? well can you tell me if you are able to use your hands to their purpose? like cutting off a steak or puring your own glass of wine?"

"y/n-" your friend tried to stop you. but you didn't listen. you just continued to blabber nonsense until jake grabbed your wrist to the bathroom.

shaking your hand off his grip you screamed at him asking, "why did you bring me here?!"

"y/n why are you being so rude?" he calmly asked you.

you sarcastically laughed, "i'm being rude? who's more rude when you're out here eating at the same table as your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend?"

"current girlfriend- y/n that's my cousin!" he tried to calm himself by breathing slowly, pushing the side of his mouth using his tounge "do you really think i could replace you that fast?"

the sudden question made you feel like someone cut off your tounge. because you mostly have answer for everything but this. his question caught you off guard.

"when you broke up with me, i never asked why. i knew you were tired and i don't want to exhaust you more." you hear his voice shake as he speak. "i was also tired and we both needed a break."

you looked straight at his eyes that are sparkling from moist done by the tears that he have been trying so hard to hold back, "but as time pass by, i felt more and more empty. there is a big mark of you in my heart that ever since you left, no one has ever filled."

"nobody could ever fit in, but you." cupping your face he also wipe your tears away. "i never felt that way before. it's like, for the first time, i had something to lose."

"jake, i-" it was as if you forgot how to compose a word. you never knew he felt the same way you did when you broke up with him.

maybe sunghoon was more of your cousin than he is jake's friend. because if jake only knew how many times you told sunghoon that you miss him, he would've came back faster than this.

he smiled pulling you into a hug, "it's fine if you don't feel the same way anymore. i understand that. but i just want you to know that i am not the douchebag you think i am."

pulling away from the hug, you see his eyes were bloodshot "sorry, the last thing i want to do is make you cry-" you pulled him into a kiss not letting another word out of his mouth.

running out of breath, you seperated his lips from yours. you widely smiled at him, "it’s been you all along."

kissing outside a three star restaurant's restroom isn't as ideal as other comeback stories, but you wouldn't ask for anything else. as long as you have jake in your arms, your heart is content.

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yuueee · 3 years

Text

𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 fire lord! zuko x fire lady! reader

authors note: Firstly I just want to apologize for the hiatus, I want to be more active from now on! I’m starting finals next week so I’ll thankfully be done with this semester soon and will also have more time to write. Anyways I hope you enjoy!! I also want to apologize if Zuko is ooc here.

requests:

First of all, your tumblr looks sooooo cool! I’m looking forward to reading all of your future work! Imagine this: Zuko is annoyed by people constantly asking him about a future heir, but when one day his friends also start to ask, and even his uncle and his own mother join the baby fever train, it’s too much for him so he complains about it to his wife who only reassures him with her lovely self and her understanding smiles, not telling him yet that she is in fact pregnant. What do you think ?

Can you write an imagine with zuko who is clearly, utterly and soooo obviously in love with the reader (outgoing, courageous, loving) and maybe with the prompt “So you...well...I mean...I could give you a massage?” Thank you a lot! ^^

As the current Fire Lord and Lady, it wasn’t uncommon for the citizens of the Fire Nation to be deeply invested in your relationship - it was to be expected especially due to the uncommon nature of your union. What you weren’t expecting were Zuko’s close friends and relatives being wrapped up in your business as well. Being outside of team avatar, you were naturally more welcoming to his friend's constant questioning, but Zuko on the other hand was not. He couldn’t understand why they cared so much all of the sudden. They hadn’t been as interested when he was in a relationship with Mai - so why did they care so much now?

It wasn’t as if you weren’t getting along with his friends or family - you got along with them quite well and were very loved by them in fact. Outside of them though, you weren’t always as welcomed, unfortunately, the Fire Nation was still coming to terms with having the daughter of an Earth Kingdom General as their Fire Lady. The arranged marriage was put in place to solve several different ‘problems’. After Zuko broke up with Mai several years ago, he hadn’t begun dating anyone else due to being so busy but he’d eventually be expected to have an heir in the next coming years.

Although they had gotten better, tensions among the Earth Kingdom Colonies were still high and both sides were having difficulty keeping them under control. Eventually, an agreement was made for the daughter of a high-ranking Earth Kingdom General to marry Zuko - that daughter being yourself. Arranged marriages certainly weren’t unheard of in either nation - but a union of this sort was definitely unique.

Though he certainly wasn’t thrilled about it, Zuko understood that it was for the good of the people - and it wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it anyway. Even with his position as the recently crowned Fire Lord there still wasn’t much he could do.

On the other hand, you understandably had some issues coming to terms with your new situation at first. Despite being known by those around you as friendly and just a joy, in general, to be around - the woman Zuko had first met was quite the opposite. He could recall it like it was yesterday. Though it was awkward and stressful at the time, he now considered it to be the best day of his life.

“She’s in there.” A female servant whispered to the young man quietly, as if she didn’t want to speak loud enough for you to hear from your place at the balcony.

“Thanks,” he replied with a soft smile, bidding the elderly woman goodbye as she shuffled down the hallway. Turning towards you he was faced with a warm tropical breeze. His advisors had arranged for the two of you to meet a couple of weeks before that dreaded day, and for some reason, they thought Ember Island was the appropriate place. A combination of anxiety and general distaste for being on the island was causing him to be quite stressed - which led him to be more awkward than usual.

“Um, hello?” he spoke up faintly, as if not to startle you. He was sure you heard him come in, but you hadn’t turned around since he entered the small room. You stood several feet away with your hands placed on the railing, your [hair-texture] locks sifting gently with each gust of wind along with your predominantly red clothing. It was against what you had wanted to wear that day but it didn’t seem as if you had much a say in anything going on in your life recently.

You understood that doing this would be for the greater good of the Earth Kingdom and that your situation could technically be worse. You could have been married off to some old creep - but if you were being honest with yourself being married to the Fire Lord sounded just as bad. As you turned around though, you were surprised at the face you were met with.

He had a much younger face than you had expected, but the slight hollowness of his cheeks and the worry lines on his forehead told you that he had experienced things beyond his years. He also happened to be quite handsome - not that you wanted to admit it though. You had been bent on hating him ever since your father told you who you’d be wedding.

He was the leader of the Fire Nation, of course, you would hate him! The country that has had a century-long reign of terror on the world - and now you found yourself engaged to their leader. What had you done so wrong in your life to deserve this?

As much as you wanted to plan on running away the first chance you got, you knew deep inside that it would only cause tensions to increase and more issues to arise. You wanted the best for the residents of the Earth Kingdom, so you agreed to go through with it, but did so resentfully - which you had every right to feel that way.

But as you glared up at the young male next to you and tried to keep your attention off of the scar over his left eye - you couldn’t help but wonder what if this was the man who joined the avatar in defeating the Fire Lord? He wasn’t what you expected at all. Standing in full armor with his hair holding the fire nation insignia in a top knot - he looked awkward and out of place. You almost felt bad for him - keyword is almost.

“What do you need Fire Lord?” you questioned him, turning your gaze back to the rushing waters of the ocean.

“Um,” he faltered slightly, probably not anticipating your response. “I just wanted to introduce myself-“

“I know who you are.” you brushed him off, turning around and walking towards him - grabbing his collar and pulling him to your height. “We might be getting married but if you think for a second I will ever be nice to you, you are sadly mistaken.” you hissed at him before letting him go and walking out of the door.

Zuko couldn’t recall how long he stood there watching your form leave, all he remembered was standing there like an idiot with a red face. He hadn’t expected you to like him of course but he surely wasn’t expecting that.

As he reminisced on memories long ago while sipping his Uncle’s tea, he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his features. As stated earlier, It may have been an unpleasant memory back then but now he considered the day he met you to be the best day of his life. Though your relationship had surely faired through many complications for a while in the beginning - surprisingly, you became fond of Zuko over the years.

It was certainly a long time coming but that strange friendship you two shared eventually evolved into love against all odds. That didn’t mean you weren’t constantly giving him an ear full (as you should tbh) your first months together. But as time progressed and you learned that he may not have been the evil prince that you had heard so much about, at least not anymore.

He wasn’t that same angsty teenager he had been years ago looking for the avatar, he was now a young adult growing quite well into the position of the Fire Lord - which was no easy feat. Taking another sip of tea, he watched his Uncle and Mother come to take a seat with him.

“How is it, Nephew?” His Uncle asked with a mischievous grin and a raise of two bushy eyebrows - albeit already knowing the answer.

“It’s great as always Uncle,” Zuko responded with a small smile, his Uncle's expression making him just a bit concerned, causing his Mother to chuckle. Though she had gained a few wrinkles over the past couple of years, she was still as radiant as she had been in her youth. She was also much happier being able to live with the family she had been apart from for many years without fearing Ozai’s intervention. It came with a price though - it seemed as if her relationship with her estranged daughter who was now on the run would never be resolved. She never lost hope though.

“Zuko,” his mother began speaking, catching the young Fire Lord’s attention with a raise of his eyebrows. “When are you going to give me a grandchild?” She asked teasingly, eager to see his reaction. In turn, her son had barely kept himself from spitting out the mouthful of tea.

“Why do you ask that?” He choked out in between a series of coughs with Iroh patting his back gently.

“You haven’t?” She asked in between chuckles, noticing how her son got bewildered at the mention of having children of his own. “You know you’ll eventually have to have an heir at some point right?”

“It’s not that I haven’t thought about it... but Y/N and I are just really busy.” He thought aloud, wishing he could run a hand through his hair - but was unable to since it was pinned in a top knot.

“Zuko, you never know when you’ll get this time of peace again. What better time to raise a child?” Iroh reassured, wiggling his eyebrows. Letting out a groan, the young Fire Lord attempted to mentally prepare himself to go through this same conversation every time he visited his family.

Over the next couple of weeks, the constant badgering he received from his friends and close relatives started to frustrate him further, so who could he turn to? You of course.

Being married for several years now, you were more than used to Zuko’s rants, so you simply just reclined on the bed with an eyebrow raised as he paced back and forth.

“I don’t get it! Why is everyone so concerned about when we’re going to have a child or not?” He questioned seemingly no one as you attempted to keep your face from contorting into a smile. It wasn’t as if you didn’t understand his frustrations, it was just funny to watch, especially since you were already pregnant.

You were surprised that he hadn’t noticed honestly, with you staying in for the past few days due to feeling sick. Who could blame him though? It wasn’t as if he wasn’t attentive and loving as a husband, he was extremely busy as of recent-and also just dense at times. After noticing his silence for a few moments as he looked over the balcony, you decided that maybe this could be the perfect time to tell him.

Getting up and sneaking behind him, you snaked your arms around his waist and turned so you could see his face. He let out an audible sigh of what sounded like relief before returning your smile and your hug.

“You want a head massage?” You questioned pulling away, wiggling your fingers playfully.

“Please.”

For the past couple of years, Zuko had been letting his hair grow out so now it rested around his shoulders.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” You started tentatively, but as usual, he was too caught up in the sensation of your fingers raking across his scalp to entirely understand what you were saying, so he just nodded in response. “I’m pregnant.” You stated plainly, ceasing your scratching. Not getting a response for a few moments, you turned to face him with a worried expression.

Much to your surprise he was grinning up at you and placed a warm hand on your cheek. “Really?”

“Yes. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell y-“ you were abruptly cut off by him pulling you into another hug and placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “So you’re happy about it?”

“Couldn’t be happier.” He responded sincerely, leaning into your shoulder so you couldn’t see the redness on his cheeks.

Maybe your family and friends would finally leave the two of you alone now?

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