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chaoscriess · 2 years

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i was going to be like ‘you write for stu and fez extremely based’ but THEN i spotted billy n maddy n cassie in your tags… extremely extremely EXTREMELY based. i would love to hear any hc’s you have for an ot3 poly situation with maddy n cass? if you don’t love that concept id also love hearing any general romantic hc’s for those two, thank you!

I love you you're my first ask ahhhhhh and your stu sleepover fic... obsessed..

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! mentions of makeout sessions, sex, and threesomes. some PDA and cussing, nothing you wouldn't expect from a euphoria fic. lowercase is intended! this is very undedited.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! doing this on mobile, sorry If the format is weird.

poly!maddy & cassie x fem!reader

you were maddy's closest friend growing up, you would share everything and you would tell each other everything.

through the years, maddy began developing a crush on you, even if she didnt know it. she was confused about her feelings towards you, thinking she was just your platonic soulmate or something

and when you knocked on her door one day after school, telling her about your newfound love with a girl at your school... she didnt take it amazingly.

"maddy, I mean it! I really think I love her.." you two were sitting on her bed, discussing your new relationship while she practiced a new makeup look on you. she looked you dead in the eyes and sighed, rolling her eyes and turning away, "whatever, who even is she? what'd you say her name was? catty?" you laugh at the dark-haired girls attempt to remember cassie's name and quietly correct her before scooting towards her, grabbing her hand and bringing it to your face, silently encouraging her to finish your makeup. the two of you sat in silence, you didnt move or speak, in fear of messing up the makeup she was caking onto your face, and you also didnt want to upset her anymore than she already was. your partners had always been a touchy subject for maddy but you never knew why. you decided to leave the subject alone for the night. even though you knew she'd never hurt you, maddy's scary when she's mad.

eventually, maddy warmed up to cassie and she became a part of your guy's routine. in the mornings before school, you would pick cassie up in your car and you two would meet maddy in the school parking lot, sometimes smoking a joint that you usually supplied. you three would walk to your classes together, sharing most of them due to some miracle. you would skip classes together if one of you seemed too stressed, meeting in the bathroom to do whatever (typically drugs). after school most days, you would meet at maddy's house and just talk.

one day at maddy's house, when cassie told you two that she'd be staying at home, maddy told you that she might like girls, and asked if you could help her figure out her feelings.

being her best friend, and also being into girls, you couldn't say no.

"are you sure you're okay with this? I mean.. wont it be weird? kissing your bestfriend?" you smiled sweetly at her, shaking your head no. she took your hands in hers and scooted towards you on the bed. "can i?" you asked for her consent as you took your hands away from hers and placed them on the sides of her face. she said something quietly but you were focused on her lips, images of you two making out crossed your mind and you shooed the thoughts away, telling yourself you shouldn't think about her like that. she said something about cassie but you still managed to make out a 'just kiss me' in her words. so you did. you pulled her towards you, connecting your lips and you dropped one of your hands to the back of her neck and the other dropped to hold her hand. you pulled away but she pulled you closer.

you and cassie had talked about it the next day, starting off as a conversation about cassie saying maddy kept looking at you like you hung the moon and stars. when you told her you made out with maddy, she was fine with it, telling you she wouldn't mind being in a threesome. she said it as a joke, but when she saw a sparkle in your eye after she said it, she actually began considering it.

and you did.

you had a threesome at some guys party, but it was actually really romantic. all three of you were decently sober, besides having one shot each when you arrived.

maddy had walked in on you and cassie fucking later in the night and was about to leave when cassie asked if maddy wanted to join. maddy looked at you nervously, almost to ask if it was alright, and you nodded at her in reassurance. and she joined you.

the next day, you didnt see cassie or maddy at school. you assumed they just felt too awkward to face you or the each other. in reality, they were talking. about you, about each other, about their feelings.

it turns out, the both of them shared mutual feelings for you AND each other. they came to you about this, expecting you to turn them away but to their surprise, you told them you felt the same.

your friends didn't know how to react, they thought you were cheating on cassie with maddy but when they saw cassie kissing you and then maddy, they asked you about it and you explained the situation.

cassie and maddy are the best girlfriends you could ask for.

when you're sick or upset, they absolutely will not leave your side.

nate hates you. he absolutely hates you. in fact, he came up to you at school one day and threatened to beat the shit out of you if you didn't leave maddy and cassie alone. you didnt. instead, you kicked him in the balls and threatened to stab him there if he talked to you again, he didnt.

in conclusion, maddy and cassie are amazing and you couldn't ask for anything better.

#euphoria x reader #maddy x reader #maddy perez x reader #maddy perez #maddy perez fic #cassie x reader #cassie howard x reader #cassie howard #cassie howard fic #cassie howard x maddy perez #maddy x cassie #chaos calling!#chaos' army #i heart amy!

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aroaceleovaldez · 1 year

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Okay these tags on this post reminded me of a HoO/TOA thing that I complain about a lot but I don’t think i’ve ever elaborated on here:

[Image ID: Tags from @fr0zenpepsi reading - “#and jason fUCKING DIES before he even get fixed like #you dont know how excited i was when the diorama thing was mentioned like #make him artistic too!! make him be into architecture too! #and he plays lacrosse???? #like his character has sooo much potential yet hes just a boring white guy :< #thats prolly why his death is pretty lame #it meant a lot to the plot but like do we even know who we lost?? #more than half of the fandom doesnt even like him bc hes just so plain :/ #also hazel is a queen and i love her shes literally the best” /end ID.]

One of the big issues I take with both HoO and TOA is that literally every death in both series feels cheap because death has lost consequence. For the majority of HoO it’s at least somewhat still of a risk, but even things like Tartarus feel extremely lackluster when we actually encounter them - Tartarus especially after we saw how much it affected Nico, but then Percy and Annabeth’s plot armor kind of negates all of the threat and it feels like they don’t actually experience much more than their usual threats down there or that it has any lasting effect on them. And after Leo’s “death” we’re basically solidified into “Death has no consequence” because we just finished a series with at least SIX INSTANCES of major or minor protagonist-aligned characters notably directly cheating or miraculously avoiding death (Jason, Hazel, Gwen, Frank, Jason again, Leo), not including also miscellaneous minor antagonists. Which is aggravating because you can make a “Hey, these characters can’t die!” plot work, especially if that’s the root problem they’re trying to solve! It does work in TLH and SoN! And we’ve even seen it before in Battle of the Labyrinth when Percy fights his half-brother!

But HoO basically nullifies all consequence the characters face from MoA onwards and post-BoO “death” carries no weight, because by this point we have so many excuses to get around it or avoid it or come back from it that who cares! And this continues to be a thing post-TOA! Even just in the plot summary of Chalice Of The Gods we’re introduced to YET ANOTHER “Cheat death!” item! And I’d bet we’re gonna get one in TSATS too cause we’re almost guaranteed to see Damasen again, and the like one singular myth that exists referencing Damasen also specifically mentions an herb called “the flower of Zeus” that can revive things from the dead.

And it’s extra annoying because in TOA we keep getting character deaths shoved in our faces and told we should care about them, but either they’re characters we have little to no emotional connection to (such as, like, All Of Camp Jupiter in Tyrant’s Tomb when the camp is threatened and we’re told we should care, but we’ve barely seen the camp at all besides beginning of Son of Neptune and beginning of Mark of Athena, and the only living characters we get to actually see in Camp Jupiter from before TOA are Gwen, Dakota, Don the Faun, and our HoO protagonists.)

And Jason’s death is particularly annoying because a.) He’s essentially cheated death twice already [Piper bringing him back from either death or near-death when he accidentally witnessed Hera’s true form, and then his whole spear injury that was slowly killing him but was healed with [checks notes] the power of friendship], and b.) the scene DIRECTLY PARALLELS HIS FIGHT WITH MIDAS. Which, you know, he WON. VERY EASILY. And you can’t even argue “oh but this time Piper and Apollo were right there so he couldn’t have done the same thing!” because PIPER AND LEO WERE THERE WITH MIDAS. Heck, so was Lit! Who also survives and comes back in TOA! So not only is there no excuse for Jason to have not somehow miraculously avoided death (alongside every other TOA character, basically), but he SHOULDN’T HAVE DIED IN THE FIRST PLACE because THAT’S NOT A FIGHT HE SHOULD HAVE LOST! Him losing that fight is directly contrary to what we know about his character! And “he shouldn’t have lost that fight and died” doesn’t feel tragic here, it’s just aggravating! It’s just bad writing! And there’s no way around it because nobody cares about characters dying by that point in the series anyways because it doesn’t mean anything! We’ve had too much random death fodder in HoO (like the Hunters) directly alongside characters experiencing little to no consequence when they should from their experiences (Percy & Annabeth in Tartarus, literally every character nearly dying, etc.). The only characters we do see experience any kind of lasting consequences from near-death experiences are Hazel having blackouts in Son of Neptune (which are magically erased by Mark of Athena) and Nico being heavily implied to be permanently physically disabled after Tartarus (which is half-ignored when not plot relevant in TOA and completely ignored in the short story Un Natale Mezzosangue, which gives me reason to suspect it will also be ignored in TSATS). Not to mention Frank’s curse is also randomly erased in Tyrant’s Tomb, which is extra stupid because by following the logic of that scene his curse should have been lost back in Son of Neptune when he freed Thanatos, because he was using his curse for the same exact reasons with the same exact mindset. He literally did his character arc twice. Whatever.

HoO and TOA are just such a mess writing-wise of Rick trying to haphazardly incorporate as many myths as he can with zero attempts at cohesiveness that it doesn’t make any sense (I invite you all to read just the Team Statue chapters of BoO and take a moment to process how absolutely nonsensical it is) and he fails to consider the consequences of including certain myths, both in terms of how their aspects will impact the larger plot and also the historical context behind those myths and if how they’re being applied is offensive.

TL:DR: Jason’s death is stupid from literally every angle and HoO and TOA have a problem with literally any kind of narrative consequence.

#riordanverse #pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #toa #trials of apollo #jason grace #meta #long post #fr0zenpepsi#sorry to hijack your tags lmao #i just have a lot of thoughts on why Jason's death is lame and i 100% agree with you the fact that we barely *know* Jason is part of it #ergo the same problem in Tyrant's Tomb when we're literally just told we should be sad about all these background death fodder romans #but we've only seen Camp Jupiter like twice up until that point so there's literally no reason for us to be emotionally attached to anything #like. oh nooo CJ's in trouble.... why do we care?#CHB we care about because it's a major setting we see often and we've developed a connection to #if we had another series focusing on just the romans then it'd probably be different and we'd care a *lot* about CJ #but we. don't. so we don't. and putting CJ in any kind of peril is meaningless #not that the peril TOA puts on CHB is actually anything at all either. in Hidden Oracle it's at most the same peril as the desert in TTC #and it gets nullified extremely quickly with even less tragedy. its downright humorous actually. which is almost worse #and then same thing in ToN when the demigods fighting in the building are literally being treated like theyre on a field trip #this is supposed to be the BIG FINAL BATTLE and the forces of CHB are... a bunch of 12 year olds playing?#honestly HoO and TOA almost feel like Rick got scared of actually having CHB be threatened and so turns to humor instead #and so every fight that happens there post-first series feels like it's not being taken seriously #or that it's extremely rushed. or both. and fights involving the majority of camp doesnt actually put the campers in danger #like okay Camp Jupiter gets a zombie apocalypse and tons of death.#CHB? the kids go on a field trip to beat up the Tri's lackeys and nobody gets even seriously injured #besides the characters who arent campers or like. our protagonists get a little thrown around but thats it.

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marcusrobertobaq · 6 months

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How "famous" are Connor and Kara during the game? What's their public image like?

Nothing major, just some few observations i don't see people talking about. I just wanted to leave this saved in here. Maybe can inspire somebody, who knows.

I won't be talking about Markus cuz his whole deal is exactly the public image in this game, so i'll be only commenting on "CyberLife's new detective prototype" and "the runway AX400".

⚠️ ALERT OF POOR ENGLISH SKILLS AND EXPLANATIONS. I also got a bit of HC here to help expressing my feelings.

-> Kara, the rogue AX400 model

A quick summary: She got a price on her head...and Alice made her life difficult. Don't worry, i gonna explain.

Although having a common face can be an advantage in some infiltrations, Kara's face can also be a target on her back, even if she changed appearance.

Everything start with her escape from Todd (determinant murder). In the night she escapes itself everything was cool tho but there was a big problem: witnesses. She walked into public spaces (like the bus), got a kid by her side, can even steal some stuff and point a gun at people - and ofc these are TRACKS. Want something worse? Her case appears on TV.

If Todd is alive he even gives an interview

Now she's wanted by the law.

People in the region is wary for any AX400 with her likeness, the police is all over the region trynna find someone with the discriptions. A girl with the AX400 likeness, without a LED and in human clothes? IT'S HER.

(she was lucky the guy from the motel didn't insist in her ID)

And u can notice her "disguise" ain't that perfect cuz the police can still recognize her - probably cuz of the fact she looks like an AX400, changed appearance and GOT A KID ON HER SIDE (likely the discription given by the bus guy).

But Kara is also lucky: these types of case are becoming constant. The number of "androids going rogue" rising. Although she's all over the news, she's still a commercial android. If she escapes it's likely people would forget about her after some time cuz there will be another case like this and other suspicious AX400s.

So my bet is "the rogue AX400 on the run" is something well known, but may be forgettable - not the case per se but "WHO" this actually is.

Nobody knows "Kara", only the "dangerous AX400 from the chase" the police struggled. But we got a LOT of AX400s and lotta of 'em gonna go deviant. It's even funny how they especulate the "young woman" and "little girl" are 2 defective machines. These unconfirmed sources are always so fucking shady.

And u see nobody recognizes her outside Detroit (for whatever reason), not even the cop, even with her case on the news. Idk if it was difficult implementing something checking if the police recognized her or not (meaning they would get an update on Kara's "new" appearance).

I guess was something local, her case is public - but her name? Nah. Again: even tho we got disadvantages when spotted in small regions, if she disappears she has just...dissapeared. Even the "Android Crime Unit" gives up her case 😂

-> Connor RK800, CyberLife's new prototype

First of all i think his face was probably in all places after this hostage situation.

Even if he fails, some cut stuff suggests some people remembered him as the android negotiator in Partners (when the 2 chapters didn't had a 2 months time skip).

I bet he was all over the internet too, although i think his name was unknown in that period. The only ones that knew his name was probably the SWAT team - "My name's Connor, i'm the android sent by CyberLife".

And then we got Ortiz's case. Reporters were there and everybody saw an android entering the crime scene (what they ain't supposed to do) with Lt. Anderson - a known figure in the city, quite famous in law enforcement i'd say.

Later in the game is mentioned in the news a new "detective prototype" was assigned to the DPD from several sources, the first case of an android with active role in crime scenes. Also the fact a "Android Crime Unit led by Anderson" was formed. I honestly don't know if they knew Connor's name, but his model series ain't difficult to find out or getting leaked. From there it's even easier getting both information together. For now the public don't know "Connor".

I assume after The Nest and On the Run (where Connor appears in public again and gathers LOTTA attention) everybody already know at least about the RK800 from the hostage situation now working with the Police Department. If it's positive or negative i really don't know, but he def gathered attention esp if he's succesful. The chase on the highway also gets on the news. My bet would be people inside the police department know his name, or at least "Connor, the detective prototype model".

By Public Enemy i assume overall cops know him, like that one that can be saved in The Hostage. He's recognized by his face, model and name. I like imagining after Markus speech was expected Anderson and Connor would be called, after all it's the "Android Crime Unit". Maybe it's limited tho, Perkins doesn't seem to know 'em so i think Connor ain't known in federal level law enforcement. It's at this point i think Connor is starting to make a name as "Deviant Hunter" among the deviants. We've already had The Eden Club murder case, the Ortiz murder case, the Hostage situation, Connor and the police searching for the runway (killer) AX400.

For the average people on the streets i think "RK800 Connor, the CyberLife's latest prototype, the detective model" is already recognized at least if mfs watch the news about androids, and he also got a name in law enforcement - now also known by the FBI.

So yea, i'd say he's quite known but i wouldn't call him a celebrity, esp cuz androids are in a negative pov in this universe. Also ain't cuz Connor is known that he'll also be relevant. "Androids investigating androids?" must be a common question too. In law enforcement it's likely he's "disliked" cuz means androids are now taking active roles from humans, but the public opinion probably print a "protector of human lives" kinda image depending on his succesful actions like the Hostage one (if he saved Emma) and the Stratford Tower one (if he prevented a massacre), but i'd take it with a grain of salt. It raise questions which CyberLife always remain silent and the authorities refuse sayin' something. And what happens when we ain't got official sources? Rumors are spread and opinions are overall divided.

But it's a valid questioning the average folk would have: is Connor really a detective model? Why can he use guns? Why we got androids using weapons now? How do we know he won't turn against humans? How do we know CyberLife ain't pulling 'em strings again? Will androids replace humans in every single space?

Only thing i know is Connor is "recognizable".

And if he bring the army? Damn, that shit was all over the news. People would def comment.

#dbh #detroit become human #kara ax400 #connor rk800

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buttsnorkeler69420 · 7 months

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HI HOWS THE ALBUM (← insane)

you know how when l(glu) was released april said this:

[image ID: a screenshot of text from a page on the song lyric website genius. it reads, "underscores said, 'Everything was too sad. I wanted to have some fun.' the text is white on a dull grey background.]

i underestimated it and i am having a TIME. um so i wrote up some thoughts i had on every song (i don't really know how to properly talk about music but i really like underscores so i am going to say things anyway haha)

(SPOILERS FOR WALLSOCKET BY UNDERSCORES BEYOND THIS POINT. content warnings for songs discussing grooming, war, suicidal ideation and transphobia.)

track 1: Cops & Robbers

i remember mentally exploding when i saw the thumbnail for this pop up on youtube. every time i hear the beginning guitar section my brain chemistry just is like... YEAHHHHHH ITS WALLSOCKET TIME!!!!!! this song just feels so so fun—the "haha gotcha" tone of it, and the speed and energy, and the part where it's like "and its full of all of your money / yEAHHH!!!"—i looped this thing so much until the other singles came out (and then i looped those. a lot.)

i love love love the bridge of this song and it gets stuck in my head all the time

track 2: Locals (Girls Like Us)

it's another underscores and gabby start banger!!!!!!! i love the songs both of these artists make and this one is no exception. immediately when the intro started i was like YEAHHH!!!! and then when the spoken "good luck" suddenly turned into that loud sample "Good Luck!" i was honestly startled enough to jump the first time i listened to it.

this is one of the songs where i don't really get the full symbolism behind everything yet (the whole horse section in the gabby part... basically gabby's entire part actually because i am not sure what the things they mention symbolize)

i really like how the repeating words mantra extends basically throughout the whole song in different ways, and the chorus is so so catchy

track 3: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i really enjoy the wordplay underscores uses in her lyrics a lot... like how she describes a fishing lure to play into the "taking the bait" theme in the chorus (at first i was like "huh??? what colorful piece of plastic?" and then i was like OHHHHH!!!!) and how she indirectly alludes to things ("the name of my illness/is just one letter short of my own" - S*nny is five letters and i think this song is about S*nny's queer identity so the four letter word being referenced here might be LGBT??? not sure / and the "my favorite animal is engraved on the sides of my ribs" which i currently don't know the meaning of, but the person on Genius who suggested it was a reference to the creation of Eve makes a really cool point)

the transition in this song to the Patented Louder Ending Section is just soooooo soooo pretty... it gets me every time...

shoutout to this "OH" in particular.

track 4: You Don't Even Know Who I Am

originally when this song came out (both unofficially in "The Story of S*nny", then its official release), it honestly was not my favorite, but now it gets stuck in my head a lot and i don't mind at all! the singing and effects pair really well together. I also really like the intermittent beeping sounds that occasionally show up.

edit: i was lucky enough 2 be able to go to a live show and OH MY GOD was this song SOOOO cool in it. the freaking lightbulb effect is so cool when i realized what was going on with it i screamed

originally when i first started listening to this song i really liked the last loud bit but now i'm not really sure why but it's kind of off to me now? i dont know maybe something about the notes is a little weird to my ears but i still enjoy

track 5: Johnny johnny johnny

oh my god. OHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDD. this song has been stuck in my head since my first listen and will probably stay that way for the next month or so. this song is so amazing. IMMEDIATELY i was extremely intrigued by the way it opened (i had never heard of the Johnny, Johnny hand game thing before, and upon looking it up i was like OH MAN you KNOW the song is going to be mind blowing when it has LAYERS like this).

i think my first impression with this song was that it kind of reminds me a lot of underscores's MARINA covers?? like in a really good way, since i think underscores has mentioned marina as an inspiration and it's so cool seeing how many kinds of music she can make

i also love how like... expressive underscores's voice is, even in ad-libs and effects like the repeated "whoops!" in this song... it adds so much to the atmosphere and the um. growing dread as you realize what this song is about and are more and more aware of the juxtaposition between its topic and its tone. (the "johnny's gonna be the one who finally makes me real" line gets me every time in particular.... aaaaaaa)

this song's climax near the end is also just so so cool... i love how it takes a ton of elements that showed up earlier in the song and suddenly puts them all together (the "johnny johnny johnny johnny whoops" chant suddenly appearing alongside the chorus and transforming as the two are played at the same time)

track 6: Shoot to kill, kill your darlings

HIP, HIP... HOORAY!!! ough. this song. man. MAN. i am so crazy about how well this song tells a detailed story while still being catchy and fun to listen to (same with pretty much the rest of the album too haha) because that is such an impressive feat. the repeating gun sound impacts between verses are so crunchy i love them.

the line where it's like "he doesn't like what she chooses to do with her body / but he's given over his body as well / you'd think he'd get it more than anyone else"... OUGH...

this song is originally written in a very like... mostly conversational tone, but it's just so so fitting when at the end, OMB just accepts that her friend is going to go to war anyway, and to reflect this mood change, underscores just. drops all the fancy lingo and straight up repeats "I just don't want you to die" as the instrumental deteriorates. OUGH$$$))

track 7: Horror movie soundtrack

for some reason i was not expecting the banjo? guitar? notes that played in the album trailer to actually be a part of one of the songs in the actual album itself, and when that familiar tune started up, i immediately got chills and was like "OH SO WE'RE DOING THIS NOW".

god. the "you won't get away with this" being introduced as a calmer line that is mostly said like a quiet vengeful promise to becoming a big part of the crescendo is so so cool.

track 8: Old money bitch

i think this song was definitely my favorite of the singles when it came out because i could NOT stop listening to it and thinking about it when i wasn't listening to it. it is so so catchy. i didn't know where this sound would be in the album because i didn't have the tracklist memorized and it was such a gutpunch to hear it RIGHT after Horror Movie Soundtrack; we listeners just got to peek at OMB's current state of mind--her fears of losing her friend and her bitterness towards everyone except her friends and maybe "the girls"?--and then we IMMEDIATELY see that mara is bashing her on TOP of that. bonus points if mara happens to be included in "the girls"--I think this song does imply that OMB and mara were originally on good terms before their "first big fight" at a birthday party.

track 9: Geez Louise

i was NOT expecting to hear a rock/metal song from this album and i was smiling so hard when this came on. honestly surprised that i WASN'T expecting this because she makes so many different things but omg.

during my first time listening to the album, i'd remembered there was a song with a 7 minute timestamp in the trailer, but i forgot what song it was and by the time the album was over i was still waiting for the seven minute song. this song really does not feel longer than an average song to me somehow and it still feels only like three minutes every time i come back to listen to it.

i just... MAN. this song first being loud and angry and resentful, then bitter and dismissive with the "we don't have to talk about it", then suddenly transitioning into a feeling of like... an epiphany about identity in henhouse!'s part, is so so cool. the repeating "we don't have to talk about it" suddenly becomes like... an admittance of a sudden unspoken kinship. it's so... augh...

i had never heard about henhouse! before this song and after i was done with the album i immediately went searching and was shocked to only find one song... i am so excited to see more from henhouse! in the future though

track 10: Seventyseven dog years

hold on... is that the scream sample brakence uses in hypochondriac????? (maybe it just sounds similar haha)

the "do do ee oo ee oo oh oh"s in the background fading in and out are so pleasant and the crunchy texture of the drums in this one are so nice and i really like how the song transitions very nicely in and out of busy-ish loud and quiet sections

it's a little hard to hear the vocals during the louder parts but still a very cool experience!

i don't really know what the significance of dogs in this album is yet but i am curious because they've popped up a couple times (this song, the whole "ilovemydog77" password, arg and song thing)... i wonder if it has something to do with "dog" being an anagram for "god"

track 11: Uncanny long arms

ohhhhhh my god oh my god. i already knew this song was gonna be crazy because JANE REMOVER but man. i got interrupted in my first listen during the first verse of this song but i was so bewitched by the vocals that i had the chorus stuck in my head until i kept listening. another AWESOME example of how much vocals have been growing and evolving since the past albums... all the singing in here is so good and this song is just captivating.

the echoey louder part of the chorus ("and i saw that my hands were in a different place than before"/"and i woke up and felt my hands all on the carpet") transitioning into that ADDICTIVE "i can touch my toes/without bending over") is just so so pretty.

AND THEN THAT PART WHERE IN JANE'S SECTION IT DROPS OFF FROM THOSE VOCALS INTO A CRAZY EFFECTS ZONE. when the vocals suddenly break off and stutter and you suddenly honestly feel a little scared at where the song is going and then it fades gently into strings and more echoey vocals. GAH..... this album and its ability to play with my feelings...

(currently talking about this song while taking into account the current theories on genius that it is about mara realizing she has stalked S*nny so much that now she is talking to her, she has realized that she has overstretched and done something wrong (the metaphor being "waking up with long arms"), then deciding to withdraw ("getting an arm reduction").

the inlaws callback actually blew my mind when it showed up. i guess it kinda is a bit of irony in terms of the Lore... originally the lyrics of kinko's DO fit mara because she doesn't necessarily have real struggles (but yearns for S*nny's tough upbringing and struggles), but NOW she is just realizing what she has done by inserting herself into S*nny's issues and realizing she could affect them and have a huge impact for better or worse... ough...

track 12: Good luck final girl

this song feels both really cozy and mournful,,, especially the tune of the chorus and its tone... i can't decide whether "i hope you get what you deserve/that's not how this thing works" is more bitter or hopeful, but i think that's kinda the point because the description of this song says it's about the main characters realizing how they should grow up

considering there are 3 verses for our 3 main characters... i thiiink that the middle verse is most likely S*nny's (it talks about a girl down the block offering to help her, but she rejects the offer and says she doesn't need "people like that" anymore; likely referring to mara, "the girl next door" whose interactions with her were um. yeah.)

i am not sure which in the top and bottom match with old money bitch and mara... i think the last verse is OMB mostly because of the "ive postponed my suicide indefinitely" line, and also because of the sudden tone shift of the song (no more guitar, ambient noises in the background giving the feeling of being around people but feeling alone, the repeating of a final line over and over at the very end until it fades away like in Shoot to kill, kill your darlings)

um yeah. good album. good luck. wall sock er 👍

#music #underscores #wallsocket #wallsocket underscores #text post #ask #musicposting

17 notes · View notes

not-a-big-slay · 1 year

Text

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x fem!reader

warnings: talks of murder, slavery,

a/n: long ahh chapter, but thats what you get as an apology for waiting. i didnt forget about this series and id be damned if i ever would. there are only two chapters left- part 12 and the epilogue, so please stick around and i will try to get them out sooner than this chapter. it was almost half a fuckin year??!!! oh i need a wake up call goddamn. anyway, thank you for reading it and the positive comments here and on wattpad! enjoy this chapter :)

part 11/13:

previous part: part 10

next part: part 12

masterlist

taglist (sorry to bother everyone, i know it has been 5 months..):

@chickencouncilrep

@venomsvl

@happy-nico

comment to be added, two chapters left

"Sounds risky."

"It is."

"And suicidal."

"Yes."

"Also impossible."

"Very much so."

Jesper was amused by the conversation between Inej and Y/N. He has learned his poker partner had only a day left to finish her job. Killing Pekka Rollins couldn't be easy, so when she knocked on the door of Inej's old room, he could see just how anxious Y/N was and how desperate her voice rang when she proposed teaming up with his old friend. Their shared feeling of duty may help them cooperate and increase chances of ending the monster's life. However Inej's former enlightment that came from the hitman's good idea now seemed lost as Y/N shared her deadly plan.

Jesper was just happy to be in the same room, he didn't feel included, nor should he. It wasn't like he would join them, but even men living from the adrenaline of risks would doubt this scheme. It included too many holes that would serve trouble to sneek in "I don't know, Y/N." voiced her uncertanty Inej, "I understand you have limited time, but I'd rather be late than dead." Jesper agreed silently by nodding as they watched the girl think with furrowed eyebrows, not realizing she already is one of those choices. Jesper cleared his throat, he really didn't want to speak, but he couldn't allow Y/N to drag his friend to provoke death herself. "It's not exactly... bulletproof, is it?"

The plan goes as this: Y/N would send a message to Rollins, preferably not a dreg messenger, to meet him somewhere yet not disclosed where. First hole: the Dime Lions' leader will not listen to a mysterious note and probably will not come. Y/N reassured them he will, but didn't gave them a reason to believe that. After the target arrives at the place that's, again, still non-existent, he comes to face Y/N and some 'old friend', as the girl said. Second hole: Y/N won't tell them many key details to the plan, they are just supposed to

"Trust me, it will work."

Inej sighed loudly, clearly trying to find trust in this girl within her. "Are you sure he'll come alone?" she pointed out a part of the plan where they will meet Rollins alone. Third hole, for obvious reasons. "He won't have a reason not to. Our only leverage is that he doesn't suspect I know you, he still thinks I'm on my own." the hitman cleared up and ran a hand through her hair. At least she briefly explained to them that she had met Rollins before, that her job was sort of a revenge, but didn't tell them for what, nor they expected her to. Jesper wanted to keep his mouth shut, but it seemed he was the only one that saw another problem with her statement. "Remind me then, Y/N." the person mentioned turned her gaze away from the table covered under the map of Ketterdam and pleaded him to continue, "What did Rollins do exactly when he found out you were on your own? Kidnapped you is what." he didn't give her time to answer, because it wasn't a question. Finding her bloodied and strapped to a chair with Kaz pointing a gun at her was an unpleasant sight, more unpleasant was Y/N's story about how she got there. The image of the night appeared as if on cue in his mind and made him add: "And who was robbing him on the night you escaped?" Y/N's hands pushed themselves off the table before her legs started to slowly pace the room, hopefully thinking about Jesper's words.

"That's true. His guards saw us all escaping, there is no way you are considered to be alone." Inej supported his doubts and made the girl stop in tracks, her back facing them. Candles lit the room brightly and they flickered when Jesper thought about his utter confusion after finding out Kaz and Y/N knew each other since childhood. He assumed Kaz was born a teenager with insanity inside his genes, the thought of him being a demon that crawled out from hell also crossed his mind. No one knew exactly about his past, no one except maybe for Y/N, but since they seem to hate each other now, it's probably for their own good to not posses the knowledge of Kaz as a child. It was silence for a while until Y/N's words cut through it. "Well, he might be stupid enough to come alone," she let out a sigh and Jesper swore he saw goosebumps on her neck as she finished the sentence, "but not naïve enough to think Kaz would help me."

After Rollins arrives, Inej- present in the skies- will make sure he is indeed alone, or she gets rid of any other presence. Y/N aspires for the place of meeting to be dark, so Inej is not seen while working. After doing so, the spider will stand in the dark behind Pekka, waiting for her cue to put a knife on his throat. Jesper assumes there will be some dialogue between Y/N and Rollins before the two kill him, he fancies it as some sort of drama play they often held on Eil Komedie in a theater. He'd definitely took Wylan to see this play with him, but would rather avoid the same scenario in real life. And how they kill him: the hitman will shoot him, somewhere fatal but where he won't die instantly. Then, she will hit him until only a toe is left touching the alive side of border between life and death. Inej will then 'keep her promise'. or simply put, carve his heart out. Brutal, but poetic in Jesper's opinion. He will die a painful death, Y/N gets her money and revenge and Inej finishes a long undone job, everybody wins.

The girl turned to them, she saw the hesitation in their eyes and walked closer. "I know it's dangerous, but if we won't do it, someone else will." Jesper sinked into confusion and let it show on his face freely, Y/N for his sake quickly explained. "Someone, who holds grudges, will come for him. And they might do it in a more stupid and unprepared way. And then we will hate ourselves for not taking the risk." She looked at Inej and finished: "There's not enough Pekkas for everyone's revenge" Inej stared at her as the mastermind opened her mouth with one last question to ask: "Are you in?" Her eyes digged in Inej as they awaited for answer. She looked at Jesper first, as though he would somehow help. The boy just shrugged, what else to do, he is not part of it. She turned to Y/N again and a simple movement of her head made her understand and walk towards the door.

As she opened it, she turned to Inej and said: "Tomorrow night, after 4 bells until midnight, east stave, just behind Smeet Residence. You'll know." and left. Jesper watched Inej dragging her finger along the map and stopping at the possible building Y/N mentioned. She examined it, the boy could almost hear her mind as she thought about the route she'll take, her eyes caressing the paper streets and houses. Smeet residence belongs to Cornelis Smeet, he played cards with him before when they tried to save Inej from Van Eck. The feeling of nostalgia and warmth hit him. Oh, to go back as things were.

"Do you really trust her?"

"Did you trust she won't hurt you when you brought her to Wylan's house?"

He smiled, he really shouldn't have done that. Even when the question was probably rhetorical, he answered with a serious face. "Yes." Y/N seemed like anything but a liar. Sure, she didn't tell them much about her or the plan, but she didn't feed them lies so they would agree. And he did felt safe with her on that night. He didn't know her for long, but a trace of trust began in him. Inej, as if his thoughts written themselves on his eyes, knew what he was thinking about and smiled.

"Then yes, I trust her."

Oh, how he missed Inej.

--------------------------------------------

She cursed herself with every step she took.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

It rang in her head every time her lungs ate the air.

Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea.

Yet everything stopped when she was staring at the tall bulding present at the very end of 5th Harbor. After Y/N spat out her trauma on Kaz, she sent a letter to her employer, who unfortunetely happened to be Deln. She never wanted to see him again and after meeting him in the church, she somehow got over the fact that she has to take her payment from him, so encoutering that man twice was unavoidable. Yet she almost puked when she wrote the letter that was begging him to see her. The letter didn't say much, she wanted to tell him about the plan personally, so feelings could be voiced and maybe even manipulate him to cooperate. Y/N also chose to tell him right before the plan starts, so he wouldn't have a choice or time to make up his mind. She has yet to admit Deln is crucial to her plan though, Rollins won't go alone without him present and will run if he won't see him there, a bussiness partner, a person that sold her to him all those years ago,

an old friend.

A chill ran down her back, even though it was quite a warm evening, no wind at the sea either. She looked at the watchtower again. The Council of Tides was supposed to look out for the sea and harbors, but one hardly saw them. As far as Y/N knew, the stadwatch was patroling the harbors. She wondered if anyone is up there, if the council even existed. They could have just built many watchtowers and manipulate a feeling of safety into people. Trust is a powerful tool. At that moment, Y/N felt uncertain that Deln will arrive. She chose to meet with a slaver at the council's feet. Not that they would care about some barrel rats, but he could play a scaredy cat.

The sound of heavy boots on the cobblestone, that decorated almost the whole Ketterdam, and the feeling of the world closing in on her while a heavy stone crashed her chest, the feeling she only gets around one person, were the signs Deln wasn't afraid. Y/N listened to him creeping closer, the old urge to run fighting with her, before she finally turned around and faced him again after 11 days.

"Snowflake" he exclaimed happily, the word shooting Y/N in her throat, drying it up. She hated how afraid he made her feel. It's been years, she was supposed to move on. Hopefully, she will after this is over. Maybe the afterlife exists and will forgive her for her sins after all. That gave her hope and courage to form a fake smile for the show. "Deln." she greeted him with a nod. The man stopped before her and put his hands on his hips, shaking his head with a smile. He seemed very pleased to see her, what a disturbing thing to notice. "Oh, it has been far too long."

As much as she needed to play nice, Y/N didn't resist rolling her eyes at that. "Could we not?" she tried to not let the harsh tone into her voice, but expected failuire. Deln just chuckled upon her response, but his smile disappeared shortly after, the friendly tone nowhere to be found when he asked: "What do you want? Job's done?" Y/N quietly sighed in relief he was finally himself before answering. "Almost. I came here to offer you a first row view at the murder of Pekka Rollins. The price? I get to use you as a distraction." the hitman smiled and tried to sell it to him as traders on the streets taught her. As much as he loved a good advertisement, Deln shook his head and scoffed.

"Still too proud to ask me for help?"

If I was proud, you'd drown in your blood 10 days ago.

"You will just stand around, doing nothing, watching your enemy to die." she said instead, "I'd even say I'm helping you."

Deln smiled and turned around to walk in circles, he always did that when thinking. The waves crashed as the sun almost fell asleep behind horizont, first and only stars slowly lit their light in the deep blue sky. Y/N wished Ketterdam was clearer, so the stars could shine brightly as they deserved. The slavery she lived in had always a hole in the roof in the back. When she couldn't sleep, she used to look at the night heavens above, naming the few little planets present. There were always only five she could see. First was named Fala, it was the smallest star out of all of them, easy to remember. Second got the name Nerezza, that happened to be the first star that appeared and the last to go away. For the third star Y/N came up with Lilith, named after a child that died by the cruel hand of Deln, she was the brightest. She didn't named the last one for a long time, it wasn't special, just lonely and always the farthest away from the rest. Yet after Rollins took her and then she returned to the place she hoped to never see again, the fifth star shined brighter than ever, still alone, but the four seemed to bow to it. Just then, full of anger and spite, she named them all.

"Oh, Y/N." his voice woke her up and the girl saw him stop. His back faced her and she could fully see the hump in it, his spine visible in the plain shirt he wore. Deln suddenly turned around, his brows furrowed, eyes darted in her, deep in thought. He realized.

"I'm already a part of this, huh?"

Y/N thought of the messanger that patiently waited for the 7th bell to ring through the city. "Rollins will expect you, he is only coming because of you," she inhaled the salt wind from the sea,

"he will die tonight because of you."

Deln's eyes showed he finally got the full importance of his part. Y/N knew she wouldn't have to bother with retelling her plan, she just needed to let him know Rollins will be alone and in the streets. And all of that depends on him, he cannot back out if he wants Pekka dead, because he is already involved.

"Everything fails without me."

He made himself sound important, which he was, but Y/N still cringed. He won't even move a finger and still praised himself for helping. She put it past her though, the 7th bell rang. The message is on it's way. "In a few minutes," the hitman started to walk slowly to Deln, "Pekka Rollins will get a message from you, saying you want to discuss your affairs. You told him to come alone, a conversation between 4 eyes. You also mentioned me being there, as a ransom in your favor." She wanted to continue, but the man stopped her. "Hold on, why do you think Rollins wants to do anything with you?" Y/N stopped as he interrupted and swalllowed when she was reminded of the night they kindapped her.

"If you wouldn't have left me, there wouldn't be a point of kidnapping."

"There is nothing sweeter than a family reunion."

"He hates leaving traces behind." Deln's eyes were pinned on her, but he was thinking behind them. There was no turning back. The messanger had to be close to Rollins now. If he won't be there, Y/N won't kill him and Rollins will probably come after the slaver. Not that she cared about Deln's life, Rollins killing him before she kills Rollins was her insane fantasy no amount of stolen luck could grant her. Not even the freedom papers could pride themselves as the main reason. Kaz was why she needs to finish this job. Only he deserved the revenge and she had to be the one to gift it to him. She was obssesed with the possibility of his forgiveness if she does this. It would lift up the heaviest stone on her consciousness before her deserved death.

The girl watched him as his face lit up. "How will he know it's me. There is no proof that I have sent the letter." Yet his face slowly darkened in confusion again when he saw Y/N furrow her eyebrows and smile a little.

"Because you've signed it, Deln."

He opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out as everything connected. "The release papers." he sighed, still in awe. Y/N sighed in relief, she loved the feeling of the dominos falling perefectly on time. "You couldn't have remembered my signature. You couldn't have." it was more of a wish than a fact, he tried to convince himself there was a backdoor to this all, Y/N sealed them all though. She actually only focused on his signature, the distant feeling of an official freedom made her remember every single curve of his handwriting. When Rollins' guards were hitting her, the pain flashed it in her mind, keeping her going. Deln found her eyes and for the first time she saw fear in them. Not disgust or mockery, nor peace and happiness.

Fear. Of her.

"You little bitch." he whispered. He couldn't run, he couldn't deny anything. He was cornered. Messanger already delivered Deln's worst fear. Y/N knew he didn't want to be involved with Rollins' murder, that's why she was hired after all. His slave empire would fall if he would be accused of murdering the king of the Barrel, but if she was supposed to kill her past, she was going to kill everything.

A bell rang through the city. Quarter past seven.

Y/N looked up at the sky, a star right above her has shined her way through the mist. She recognized it immediately. "We have to go, can't leave him waiting." she stood before Deln, not moving until he does. He laughed silently, hiding behind his easy-going personality, fearing to accept his faith. After taking in a deep breath, he nodded to the side: "Lead the way."

Before they disappeared into the centre of the city, Y/N looked at her fifth star for the last time. In an hour, Rollins might be dead, Deln will take the blame and Y/N might get her peace in hell. The realization pained her, but she also saw the warm embrace of closure behind it.

A name of the star ran through her head. Little Y/N's whispered it into her ear as the wind picked up.

Karma. Coming for them all.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Kaz coughed when the water reached his nose, filling it up so he couldn't breathe, even though air was all around him and the hallways of the Emerald Palace were dry. Everytime they rounded a corner, one of the two Dime Lions that dragged him along moved his hand across his biceps, causing the waters wetting new parts of his body.

People say Kaz always has a plan and a backup plan for everything, and they are right. However, that was before Y/N appeared and claimed the spot in his heart and mind that he thought was either abandoned or dead. When the frustration he had on himself fizzled out, his cane was already carrying him to the steps of Pekka's place, knitting a quick plan on the way. Kaz thought the deed was done, when he ordered Rollins to say his brother's name and made him believe he buried his son, but apparently it wasn't enough. It will never be, Jakob Hertzoon had hurt many people, not just them. There could be other fools with dead siblings or parents, begging for revenge every night. Stupid kids, as he was once. He couldn't help them, but Dirtyhands will feel enough joy for all of them once the only thing functioning will be Rollins' heart.

That is for Y/N to take.

As he was slowly getting closer to Pekka's office, he didn't doubt the guards will be the easiest part. An old flame in him was ignited and it won't be put down 'till the blood paints every wall of this place. The guards stopped and tightened their grip as one of them opened a door to the office. Kaz thought of just throwing up on them, but kept it in until they pushed him on the floor and released their touch. He coughed again and the water disappeared once he took in the hard wooden floor. His ears picked up voices and the sight of his cane being handed to Rollins, then the men left and he was left alone with the lion.

Kaz pushed his face off the ground into a seated position. His cane hit the floor once before Rollins started talking: "Let's not waste our time Brekker. What do you want?" His accent rolling down his tongue as Kaz tried to stand up. The office looked smaller than his, but it gained one advantage on him once he saw the part of the room that served Y/N as backround when she said his name for the first time in a long time. Her voice still echoed somewhere in his mind and he could never find it and catch it. He never wanted to see her again, in all honesty he just wanted to put her in Hellgate, so she would never be anywhere without his knowledge again, but the R on his shoulder urged him to do this, to get their revenge and to see her at peace.

He cursed that R everyday.

When he was on the way up from his knees, a crow head digged into his shoulder, making him to look at the disgusting face the other person wore. His eyes yelled an answer into Pekka's and he frowned in annoyance once he understood. "Why do you all suddenly hunger for blood, eh? You had to plan this with her, ain't a chance you didn't." he complained while releasing a tension in Kaz's shoulder, letting him to stand up. The boy hated the mention of Y/N, even though he didn't say the girl's name, the knowledge about her could be heard. It only pour gasoline in the fire his eyes flashed. But Kaz wouldn't let him see, Rollins still had no idea Y/N visited the bastard and that they already caught up on the lost time. There was chance he knew, yet he would deny it even if she confessed into Rollins' face.

"Who are you talking about." It wasn't a question, he challenged him to talk about Y/N. However Kaz's fears became true when the man laughed exaggeratedly. "Oh come on! I know you broke her out of my house boy, don't pretend to be dumber than you are." Rollins sat down the cane by his table and reached a hand out for a bottle of whiskey. The sound of liquid knocking on the glass was followed by Pekka's hand that flipped the cup's contents inside his mouth. He'd let him have his last drink, after Dirtyhands is through with him, he'll probably throw it back out. Fingers tapped on the wooden table, disturbing the silence Kaz couldn't handle. "So, why are you doing it. For her?" The last sentence was mocking and rhetorical, quite ironic that it's the only right reason. Kaz limped slowly closer to his table, if he could get to the right spot, he should be able to pick his cane up.

With the 7th bell ringing in the distance, Rollins swallowed his second drink before he started to speak again: "She's not worth it son." Kaz noticed his eyes wandered into afar, making it a good oppurturnity to knock him out. Only if the sudden pain in his stomach caused by the petname disappeared. "You don't even know her, the things she's done." Wrong, thought immediately Kaz. She told him her entire life, leaving out only her birth maybe. But he tied his tongue and imprisoned it behind his teeth due to the concatration he fixed on his only weapon. Rollins didn't mind, he continued gladly to think about the old days.

Kaz's heartbeat fastened everytime he mentioned her, that Nina could be able to pick it up. This moment was one of the many recent, when he desired to go reverse time. Hell, delete it if needed, he just wished to be the 17 year old boy again, planning heists with his Crows, rolling his eyes at the overly-sweet endless pining between Jesper and Wylan, hearing Matthias call him numerous demonic and cursed names, entertaining himself by watching Nina and Inej silent-laugh at something stupid when he was bored. He's glad everyone is safe and that they persued their life callings, but some changes are hard to swallow and this one was still hot to eat. This crave of his heart made itself known before, last time when he saw Y/N in this very office, but now it altered a little, bringing him shame and joy at the same time.

Kaz could see a new person in the picture, laughing along side with the girls, learning Fjerdan solely for the purpose of mocking him, teasing Jesper and Wylan for being so corny. The person didn't fit the timeline, but that was besides the point. He could see her with him, by his side. It squeezed his heart and he didn't know if it's a hug or an attempt to crush it.

The door creaking turned his head around, stopping his hand just mere inches before his cane. A messanger. Rollins walked past Kaz and without a word, the newly present man handed him a letter and left. As the door shut, Kaz's hand made contact with the cane. Rollins' low and weak laugh called to his attention and once his eyes settled on him, the man brought his own pair up. The smile should've already warn him, but his ears waited to hear the conformation. Pekka lifted the letter to Kaz's eye level, as if he would see the small letters from their distance. Yet he knew what it was for sure once the receiver said:

"Speaking of the devil."

Moments after, the man whistled and within a second his guards busted the room, handling Kaz again. The boy tried to fight the hands off, he leaned back and then forth quickly, swinging his cane right after they let go a little, striking one in the stomache. The other got hit in the neck, but before he could finish either of them, a back- up came to aid, trapping him with their arms. He threw himself to sides, trying to loosen up their grip, however it seemed to seal him closer every move. Rollins' hearted laughter played to this scene and his voice continued with the same attitude after Kaz gave up. "Should've brought a gun on me son!" he laughed as he delivered his advice.

He could bring a gun, he could bring his whole crew, but the urge to kill him with his bare hands and stained his clothes with Hertzoon's blood was a virus that have spread all over him, controlling his doings and feelings. If holy water isn't enough to kill the devil, gun would be useless against Pekka Rollins.

The man wiped off tears from laughter and looked at the helpless boy. His hand stretched out to him with the letter between his fingers, his feet erasing the rest of the space. Kaz tried to avoid reading the letter, knowing it won't bring nothing else but additional pain. He often wondered how much of it can still fit in his heart. Of course when his view was filled with Y/N's handwriting and he had no other sight to see, he studied every line. Her signature writing didn't change much, it was still horrible. For a slave, it was a miracle to write at all though. He remembered having trouble to read the love note she'd written him, Jordie wasn't as helpful as he thought he would be, but Kaz lost the need to understand it. He could always find the little heart on every single one of those, that was plenty for him.

This note lacked hearts though, it also was readable and no love was expressed. It was signed by the slavor, Deln she named him. When the letter mentioned Y/N his heart fell. This was the plan to kill him.

"I mean," Pekka began to move his mouth again as he freed Kaz's eyes of the paper, "I'm told to go alone. But I won't mind the company."

He damned his pride for not bringing the gun after all.

45 notes · View notes

opticor · 1 year

Photo

partial PE honkai eruption timeline aka i can’t believe HUA became MANTIS at 17

[image id: four collages of screenshots from honkai impact and supplementary comics, acting as citations and references for the timeline below]

roughly a year before PE 3E, KEVIN moves to Nagazora in the Far East (what we call Japan) where he meets MEI [Divine Key manga: Judgment of Shamash chapter]; that summer, six months before the eruption, she goes to an academic symposium on the MU continent where dr. MOBIUS spots her as an excellent candidate for a career in the MOTH evil scientist department [game chapter 17 act 2, ER Recollections: Good News, DK: Shamash]

the manga kinda makes it sound like KEVIN transferred 3 months before the eruption, but that doesn’t work with their bench conversation in chapter 17, unless MEI was scouted the year before they met; but as she already has a crush on someone when she meets MOBIUS, and allegedly wasn’t interested in that stuff before she met KEVIN, i think it’s simpler to assume she only went to the one the summer after KEVIN transferred to Nagazora

meanwhile, HUA begins her freshman year in Sapphire (a city in the east of Asia); she spends 6 months there, during which time she makes many friends, obtains many fashionable clothes, and celebrates her 15th birthday; the third eruption occurs on the day she is due to go back home [all game chapter 20]; HUA survives the initial eruption, is saved by HIMEKO, and eventually joins MOTH as some sort of regular soldier [game chapter 20, DK: Wings of Origin chapter]

MEI’s symposium in the summer 6 months before 3E + HUA’s birthday on february 9th place the eruption somewhere between february 10th and 28th, depending on how strictly we count HUA’s 6-month-long first semester at school (which likely started in september). personally, i think february 14th is the perfect date for a honkai eruption but either way it seems to at least add up to the same month as CE 3E [per the Azure Waters extras] which is neat because hi3 is a story about endless cycles etc.

3 years later, KEVIN kills the 6th herrscher [DK: Shamash]; within the next year, the 7th and 8th herrschers are also defeated [game chapter 20; also per the Second Key manga, Su joins MOTH about half a year after KEVIN killed HIMEKO, and the 8th herrscher manifests soon after]

a small discrepancy in the timelines: 2nd Key manga says it’s been 5 years since 3E while Shamash+ch20 add up to less than that; Recollections: It attempts to fix this (i think) by placing SU’s admission to MOTH at 5 years after SU and KEVIN last met instead (likely the time they saw EDEN in concert [Recollections: Chat History] which is some time before the eruption, possibly even before the bench scene) and yes this means that SU got his medical degree in just 4 years, probably because he’s very smart and motivated, but maybe also because they were already in dire need of medical personnel? i’d also assume this means that KEVIN, MEI, and SU were all in their final year of high school (i’m actually not sure if it was mentioned that they’re in the same year?) since at the very least SU, who lived away from the epicenter, would’ve graduated normally. if PE schools in the “Far East” were the same as schools in Japan now, perhaps disaster struck a mere month before MEI and KEVIN were to graduate :(

there’s no specific timeframe for 9E [mentioned in ELF manga chapter 2 and DK: Blankness chapter both of which are on the CN website but sadly only available as fan translation on mangadex], but the 10th ends 10 months after it [DK: Blankness] and HUA becomes a MANTIS 6 months after that [DK: Wings of Origin]

that’s at least 22 months between HIMEKO’s death and HUA’s procedure (but likely quite a bit longer if we assume between the 6th and 11th they were spaced about 6 months apart), which i don’t think anyone would round down to a year but even then it’s at least 5 years after 3E so to say HUA was 17 at the time would only work if she'd been a middle-school freshman, rather than high-school one

the birthday picture seems like a deliberate touch, and so does making her unnamed best friend Carole-shaped (Carole is 16 in APHO -- someone like the Olenyeva twins would work better as a middle-schooler classmate, or even Sora/Kuu-chan) so perhaps HUA was supposed to have been 12 at 3E when they wrote the manga, but they’d changed their mind about it by the time they got to chapter 20 in the game? now the one thing i really can’t explain to myself is why they made it a point that HUA changes from her school uniform (VA’s blue outfit) to the clothes “Carole” gave her (the Spring Traveler outfit) when she was going home, when the image of her cowering on the ground in VA’s outfit when HIMEKO saves her has been referenced in so many places!! what’s the point

“but if you can’t believe HUA was 17 how can you believe that she became MANTIS 6 months after 10E ended, these things are literally on the same page” idk beats me, one of these is just more compelling considering how scared mihoyo is of letting women be over the age of 18

i could believe Pardo was 16 or so when they MANTIS-ed her though, and Kosma was even younger probably. they of course didn’t need SWARA because when miho came up with it, Pardo and Kosma didn’t exist yet but! if you wanna have fun reconciling all the lores, we could perhaps assume that MEI gave HUA the SWARA treatment for some other reason than the one stated in Blade of the Empyrean :)

tl;dr of this is i think HUA was at least 20 when she became a MANTIS, probably 21; this doesn’t change anything about how effed up her story is, she still saw the horrors of honkai at a very young age, just, you know, mihoyo’s own timelines reveal the lies :^

#honkai impact #i wrote descriptions for the whole collage and then it turns out #the caption limit is 200 symbols #but for the four parts it comes up to over 3k symbols total #i hope i didn't miss anything pertinent #?#not to be the pepe silvia meme but every time miho reveals a number i go completely pepe silvia meme about it #(which is probably not unrelated to why they don't like giving numbers)#looking at you quote unquote 2 years 5 months 16 days 02:34:25 after the 3rd Honkai Eruption #long post #!

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keplercryptids · 2 years

Note

I REALLY HOPE YOU DON'T SEE THIS AS RUDE BUT I READ SOME OF YOUR TAGS AND I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS!

You got married in a hot air balloon??? First of all very cool, but also you mentioned that you got really bad motion sickness. Was there no test drive? Or was it like a really windy day?

Also most importantly did you know the van of burly men that followed you around? Or were they hired specifically for this job? Because I can't get over the idea of being invited to be a part of the wedding party and being told that your specific job is that you have to drive around in a van and maybe tackle the wicker basket. But I also love the image of burly men following you around on your wedding day having never met you before!!

I just love this concept and I hope you had a lovely wedding day despite the motion sickness!

yes okay so! you can pay for bigger baskets that hold 8-10 people, but i didn't want wedding guests lol so it was just me, my partner, our friend who was officiating, and the captain in the actual basket. the captain had a crew of three or four other guys who were on van duty.

not only is there no test drive when you take a hot air balloon flight, but to test the winds, the captain and his buds blow up a balloon (like, a regular-ass party balloon) with helium, let it go, and watch it for a while until it disappears. that's how they know which way the hot air balloon will go, and they approximate where it'll end up based on that. they have a bunch of landing spots predetermined but you kind of just go whatever way the wind wants to push you.

we met up with the crew in an empty lot in a big ol' subdivision, they tested the winds, and then the rest of the crew got into aforementioned van, along with my photographer (lmao bless her). and we got in the balloon and took off.

the actual flight is very, very smooth. but i got motion sick because i am me, i get motion sick on escalators lmao. i had not planned for this and probably should have, you know, stared at the horizon the whole time, but the thing about chartering a hot air balloon flight is you're flying right over people's houses. a dog was chasing us!!! people were waving from the street. it was very interesting down there and so within 25 minutes i was curled up on the bottom of the basket, trying my best not to throw up into someone's backyard.

the captain ordered an emergency landing, which meant the crew had to RACE to the nearest empty field. which was normal for them, but pretty scary for my photographer lmao. literally, as soon as the captain saw a random field that was big enough, he started the descent. the van caught up and three burly men sprinted across the field to grab the basket before it lifted back up. because hot air balloons will just DO that until you've deflated them. also, the crew needed to tip the basket over so we could get out, lol.

as a note. i don't think it's legal for them to land in any field they want, so as we were hitting the ground, the captain said, "if the cops show up, we tell them this was an emergency medical landing, got it?" he was very cool.

anyway, i instantly felt better as soon as we landed, and it led to some very beautiful sunset photos. the random field really pulled through for us.

[image description: a photo of a hot air balloon, fully inflated, resting in an open field, the sun setting behind it. End ID.]

here are some of the burly crew mentioned. they popped champagne for us in the random field and a great time was had by all.

[image description: a photo of me, my friend, my partner, and three members of the hot balloon crew standing in a field. Everybody is smiling, and most are holding small plastic cups of champagne. end ID.]

so yes, i did meet all these men on my wedding day, but they were great and it was very fun. the captain was one of the chillest dudes ever, which i think you'd have to be if you're a professional hot air balloon captain. highly recommend eloping in a hot air balloon if you can.

#jd.txt #x me a q #spouse tag

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justapayneaway · 8 months

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Hi ! Hope you're well.

So to preface this ask I just want to clarify I mean no negativity in the question I have!!

But, I was shown some old posts of yours (in those recommended posts section, not stalking you 🙈) where you were fully in support of liam and sophia, and I was just wondering what your thoughts are on the history of Liams public relationships over the years. When did you start believing that they're not fully legit like you seem to now? That these women/the people in charge of him don't actually have his best interests at heart? Was it Cheryl and the whole weird pregnancy thing ? Did you also support Liam and Danielle (1 and 2.0)? What about Zayn and the years' long perrie and gigi situationships? Do you think bear and khai are their children? or do you think it's more of a mutually beneficial, these women wanted kids and didn't want to be known as single mothers type cover?

Again, no hatred id love your thoughts on the issue. Obviously fans who've been around for years change their opinions (:

Hi :)

Oh wow those posts were made a long time ago lmao

But the honest answer is very simple: when I entered the fandom, I did it with a few friends and I was mostly keeping an eye on the larrie fandom (seeing the aspects of a possible relationship between Louis and Harry). I was already a big 1D fan and Liam was always my favorite, but I wasn't looking too deep into the other boys' relationships (Zayn and Perrie or even Liam and Sophia).

I wasn't in the fandom when Danielle was around so my opinion is based on past things I've seen about her. And it might have even been a real for a while, but later on it seemed a bit forced from the few things I saw.

I started to question the others relationships after the public break up with Sophia. Things seemed a bit weird, but I wasn't very vocal about it because I wasn't sure what it meant. But then things with Cheryl (aka the lady) started and that whole thing was a clusterfuck of PR from the very first moment! It was pretty obvious it was something that Liam needed to do even at the end of 2015 with Simon's push. After that I just couldn't believe anything that happened in regards to his public relationships... things always happened to fast and in such a fake way that made me label them all as PR relationships.

As for Zayn, I liked Perrie for a while but then again everything seemed fabricated to fit a narrative in 1D days and I never believed in that whole thing with Gigi! It always made me laugh and seemed forced as fuck. A strategic way to push her more into the world since when that thing started Zayn was very influential due to leaving the band. And not to even mention all the times they tried to bring it back in strategic moments to push her image into a more positive place.

I think me starting to believe in Ziam was a thing that happened mostly in 2016/2017 when I started to look a little more deeply into their story and connections. How narratives seemed to be similar and connect in a lot of moments!

So in regards to the kids that are mentioned, I'm always a bit on the defense and don't like to talk much about it because one can't ever be sure. But generally, I don't think those kids are theirs. A lot of things don't add up in both stories and were very weird, but I prefer not to mention it a lot because at the end of the day there are kids involved.

P.S. no worries and sorry it took me so long to answer you, but I wanted to have the time to explain it :)

#liam payne #zayn malik #ziam

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multi-lefaiye · 11 months

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[image description: a screenshot of a likes counter, showing five likes. / end id.]

well alright the people have spoken! time to bitch.

setting to do not reblog because i'd rather not deal with people being stupid in my notes if they feel the need to try their luck.

also under the cut. i'll be talking about discourse and misinformation around gender affirming surgeries. the original post is not that deep but i got angy anyway. (also talk of genitals down here. not in a sexual way but like mentioning them)

so i saw a writing advice post last night that was giving cis authors advice on writing trans characters. admittedly i skimmed it mostly, but it seemed to have pretty good advice overall. nothing too egregious.

but then i got to a note about bottom surgery and like... it wasn't *wrong*, but it was presented in a way i felt was misleading and didn't address the full story. and like yeah this is a writing post and not Discourse 101. but MMMMMM don't like that.

it was saying that there's nothing wrong with writing trans characters who don't want bottom surgery and are completely fine with their genitalia as is. which is true! nothing wrong there! but it then went on to cite a statistic about that, which said that 72% of transmascs report not wanting bottom surgery vs 14% of transfems. followed by a line about how "transmasc characters who like their pussies are fine, and in fact they are in the majority category here."

and.......... i don't like the way that statistic is being presented here, for a number of reasons.

first, presenting that statistic without elaboration on *why* someone might not want this surgery implies that the only reason is that they just don't want it. which, if that's the case, is valid, but then why is there such a huge discrepancy? are you implying that transmascs in general have less bottom dysphoria or less desire to correct that dysphoria with surgery? why do you single them out and not mention that a transfem who likes her cock is also perfectly fine?

literally there is nothing wrong with transmascs/trans folks in general who are perfectly comfortable with whatever genitalia they have and don't want any sort of surgery. but in an *advice post* for cis people writing trans characters, why is that the only thing you mention about bottom surgery? why no references or resources for those who *would* want bottom surgery?

(i also remember a line about like "don't mention surgery at all in the story because trans people don't like talking about that" and i agree don't shoehorn it in if it's irrelevant but lmao i don't think you know what you're talking about. i talk so much about my bottom surgery aspirations with certain people.)

and another thing, and maybe this is just me knowing a bit too much about a lot of the discourse surrounding bottom surgery, but ftm surgeries (grouping them together here for the sake of simplicity, but i do know that phallo and meta are very different) are the subject of *so much* misinformation and fearmongering about potential complications. now not to say mtf surgeries (once again grouping together for the sake of simplicity + because i am not as well-researched on that front) are never fearmongered about, but like.... idk i feel like i see nasty shit about phallo in particular all the time.

like huh! i think a reasonable assumption to make here is that at least some portion of those transmascs surveyed might want bottom surgery or experience bottom dysphoria that they would like to correct, but due to fearmongering and misinformation they either don't think it's possible, don't think it's worth it, or don't think it's safe. or maybe even all of the above! speaking from my own experience, i definitely fell into that category until very recently.

and now to be clear i don't think the writer of this post had bad intentions. i really don't know anything about them and couldn't make a determination one way or the other on that front. so i assume this is just... benign ignorance at the absolute worst, because the rest of the post had decent information and i don't want to throw accusations around willy nilly.

also like. yes trans people who are comfortable with their genitals already are so valid and deserve representation, but in an era where gender affirming care is under an increasing amount of scrutiny and misinfo spreading smear campaigns... the people who do seek these procedures out deserve representation as well. and i'm not saying anyone is obligated to write that, but why not provide some resources for research for *those* characters?

basically the post came off to me as probably well-intentioned but deeply misguided in this regard and written by someone who doesn't really get what they're getting into. and that's a generous interpretation because i don't want to assume bad faith without cause.

(also apologies i know that the way this is all phrased is a vast oversimplification, and even referring to these as "ftm" and "mtf" surgeries isn't really accurate and doesn't consider transneutral people or intersex people who may be interested in these procedures. just wanna make sure to call that out--apologies for the gendered language.)

tl;dr: if you're going to create a post offering advice for writing marginalized groups, take care that you're not feeding into misinformation about those groups or sweeping generalizations one way or the other.

edit: also there are a lot of other factors i didn't even go into here or consider, like pricing and insurance, but like. basically. bruh.

#multi makes text posts #idk how to tag this lmao #discourse cw #transphobia cw #i suppose?#negative cw

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rai-knightshade-art · 2 years

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Click for higher resolution! (Tumblr WHY do you always DO THIS TO ME!)

Dual Character Page #1! I've been trying to cement how i think the YJK characters look in my personal headcanon (i.e. relatively divorced from the standard portrayals 😅 they're not the same as in canon so they should look different from canon), so I'm trying to create these pages featuring pairs of characters. First up: Jaina and Zekk! Who are also super special cause they get a Spotify Playlist featuring the songs I've mentioned on this page (among many others). Check it out if you'd like, it's got ship songs as well as individual songs, and is organized into sets of "vibes" but also works on shuffle!

Explanations on scenes and looks below the cut along with close ups, image id in alt text!

The Full-Body Designs:

Zekk and Jaina's finalized adult designs are pretty simple, all things considered: they're flight suits! Because these two are pilots first and Jedi second tbh (Jaina moreso than Zekk but it applies to both). I spiced them up a bit tho by giving them each some kind of overlayer reminiscent of more standard Jedi robes to denote their status. Is it practical? Ehhhh debatable, but it looks cool! Zekk wears a crossbody tunic-esque robe with traditional Ennth embroidery along the hems; meanwhile, Jaina meanwhile got a double-breasted overlayer that i saw on actual Jedi robes from the Old Republic (i wanna say they're vaguely inspired by Anakin's?? But not just Anakin, and possibly by some High Republic stuff). For the record it comes down in the back as well but as a single piece, stoll style. As for other design notes, idk physically they look about the way they do in most depictions; i alternate between giving Zekk a widow's peak and giving him a little dangly hair bit, at some point I'll probably just give him both--the long hair in a ponytail is non-negotiable tho. I like to think adult Jaina keeps her hair in a messy bun rather than all loose and flowing like she always seems to have in canon, because, like, how are you gonna get all that into a flight helmet??? You're not, that's what, so messy bun it is. She'll still leave it loose or in her signature ponytail sometimes tho.

Also, yes, i tried to keep them as close as i could to their actual height difference while still making them look physically the same age. It is Taxing who the fuck let this happen.

The Scenes:

Top (the Timeline)-just a little look into some scenes from their friendship over the years, with a kind of emphasis on how it seems like, with some exceptions, Zekk seems to kinda follow Jaina's lead most of the time up until he joins the Shadow Academy and learns some agency (albeit in the worst way possible); this timeline is supposed to kind of reflect that lead-follow relationship, until the Shadow Academy part, when Jaina actually stops for once and waits for Zekk. The final part is supposed to be her having come back to/for him after time apart, ending the cycle. Also includes lyrics from Sarah Smiles and Red, because... Idk the songs just kinda fit, you know?

Left (the Jam Session)- hey what if the Falcon had a speaker system modern car-style and Jaina and Zekk jammed out in it while flying through hyperspace, how cool would that be huh? Inspired by several jams on their playlist, mostly 80's ones because Zekk has 80's Pop-Rock vibes to me.

Bottom Left (History Rhymes)-Not me continuing my "what if Jaina and Zekk but they reference previous Star Wars eras, especially couples from said eras" agenda but with an Anakin and Padmé quote! Set in the immediate aftermath of the destruction of the Jedi Temple in Jedi Under Siege (right after the cut to black in fact, there's a time jump between the explosion and, like, the next day), Zekk is lying injured on the ground, still in full Darkest Knight regalia (including the bloodred cape--yes, i swear, that's not blood, sorry to disappoint), surrounded by rubble, having saved everyone left by keeping them from going inside. Jaina realized this, so of course she goes running up to her friend, distraught at the thought of losing him just after she'd maybe gotten him back. Cue her falling to the ground at his side, cradling his head and calling his name, only to have him blearily blink his eyes open, thoroughly concussed, see her surrounded by a halo of sunlight, and breathe out a "Are you an angel?" Before passing out again (because, again, head injury). Jaina is confused, but at least he's alive!

Bottom Right (Starlight)-no thoughts head Starlight (Taylor's Version) aka Jaina and Zekk are Jedi partners (and also maybe partner-partners) on a mission to infiltrate a high-end club somewhere in the Midrim. Zekk is posing as Prince Zekkleon of Ennth, with Jaina as his lovely companion Duchess Jaynara. Of course, dashing prince that he is, Zekk can't resist offering his hand in a dance, to the astonishment of Jaina. (Gotta say, this is going a lot more smoothly than that state dinner from their teenage years at least.) Zekk is almost certainly borrowing one of Lando's capes (or wearing one Lando just straight up bought for him, as is his wont), while Jaina's dress, tho you can't really see it very well, is based on a concept art design for one of Padmé's dresses, because I'm an absolute sucker for "Jaina in her grandmother's clothes" as a trope (i read one fanfiction about it and I've been hooked ever since). Quotes from Starlight cause goddammit this is THE JainaxZekk song for me along with Every Little Thing She Does is Magic and (Don't You) Forget About Me, among many others!

The Close-Ups:

#star wars legends #star wars eu #young jedi knights #jaina solo #zekk #zekkna #jaina x zekk #myposts #myart #starlight (taylor's version)#sarah smiles #red (taylor’s version)#star wars fanart #au: test tube babies #(tagging that one cause this is how they look in that au specifically)

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solardick · 3 months

Text

The emperor

CHARLES THE GREAT EMPEROR

The King is victorious in the Lord; and in the mercy of the Most High he will not be moved.

Thais is because the emperor is sided with the pope.

In waite’s version the emperor which was typically drawn in profile suggested a state of indifference. Its back facing the pope and it’s front facing the Empress, was drawn facing the querent. I separated the eye contact. Into its own being and gave the emperor back his profile.

Probably the worst card in the deck.

I wanted to add vision, and dominion, to responsibilities into the deck. The card, odd if it’s profiled. And not direct, and political. As the masculine doesn’t sidetrack. Though these responsibilties of state and structure need attending. This may be replaced by the infinity card. As the emperor here serves to the land. Materially, politically, financially… as long as it sustains and governizes world structure. For the emperor may also serve here in the personal when robes comes off and it’s dragon has say. The dragon here is more likely in power in various forms of warcraft Or dealings with the physical world itself. Involving all the “ally”’s. Easier to corrupt.

At any rate i don’t think its even possible to get a better card image than that. The emperor staring off into the sun. The eagle surveying the land.

And they keep talking about the girl. They want my attention on her…. Ugh. Ok. Ill give you guys something. She has a sweet little virgin mothers body and id tap that. So hard. Apparently they leaving soon or somesuch. But there’s zero dialogue. I learn nothing. And the youngness doesnt bode well for a relationship, Thats what i see in her. A mother to be. Its not everyday i see a girl that i would like to sleep with. The first one in a good long while. Oh well, i just avoid her now. I tried being social, didn’t work. Bye. Too bad we didn’t work the job together. It would have turned out different. And we’d be more open and sociable together. But, to separate it from sex. Because, that isn’t my disposition. From day one. When she first saw me. There was/is something in the way i am that draws her attention to me. Truth? Ruse? At first, i didn’t pay it heed. Cause, it’s my first day and I’m here to get “oriented”. But after awhile, and the way she acted around me. Playing the dumb broad. Puyting her ass in the air. The purposeful avoidance of eye contact. Is where i started to worry. Oh, and the day she flirted with her co-worker while looking back at me and smiling.

Later on, after the avoidance, it was slow. And i liked watching the production line at work. Get a feel for how it work, for something different to see. The people on the lines, movement, all that. One of the days i did this, she was working at the far end. The build up of blocked energy, the constant listening to others talk about her or at the least mention her. Joined in on the guy talk, anyway, a chancr to see how she moves when im not around. I liked ehat i saw, she’s a good competent worker. Then she turns her head, and locked on to me. I don’t pause, and then she turns around faving aeay from her line. I stay gor a second longer, drum a tap on the skid and go do whatever task. At the end of the shoft she then has it arranged to walk around the corner as im leaving and stares me down. Any appraoch of be social was kept to pre-set no’s. And still avoidance of eye contact. (And yet, always looking my way, if i dont at the same time. I see it in my periphery. I tried a bit longer here and there. Social, flicked for a second. But that was all. So now, i don’t know what, involved with fucken with me? Young, dumb and, naive? Working out frustration? Conveniently being in certain places at certain times. Ok, im done bye.

Don’t ruin my Emperor with your bullshit. It’s like the only good masculine card in the deck.

It’s like one guy surrounded by women, and connected to destruction, loss and solitude. If there was ever a more potent feminist elitist tool out there bound on taking out the king. It’s bot very user friendly.

But the cards are still fun to play with. The searching and puzzling. And i yet couldn’t get in to it. Because wtf is this crap? So i started fiddling with it. Connected dots. And then one day i sat down pulled out the cards to the typewritter layout. And placed each one of the added cards into spot. Just like that. And i kept them like that since. Switching the U and I cards a chose. Because it just made more sense that way.

This of course happened each time i unraveled something else. The high priestess card. She’ll pull out all you need from your memory. Being, a feminine “water” card. (At the time) means that the information isn’t logistic. Its more of a feeling based intuition. Which is why i think she should be kept. But my goal here is to make the deck a little more masculine friendly. In a way that doesn’t dramatically alter what’s known to it. For this causes backlash. Take away a Childs pacifier. Candy from a. Baby and all that. And people will start acting even dumber than im capable of.

Here we want you to wear thise light weight comfortable gloves so you dont cut and scratch her hands, which we need from you. And people start bitching and complaining. And im like. F@$&en’ pussies. Everybody wins. You dont het hurt, your taken care of and production isnt halted. This connects back to the wheel card and industrial production. The “hey ho, let’s go” mentality which is a requirement.

Think i got permanent lung damage scaring for a Christmas present this year.

And it doesnt matter. What one does with the cards. When changing images or modifying the deck. It doesnt matter. On the larger scale of things. It will have no impact in the environment. For no one else will have it. It cant travel. Self closed route. Only if it’s distributed. Then whether anyone knows about it it will get into circulation. But at first keep the circle closed. A close net, network. If it’s alive. It can grow. And now the author has it’s own “paradise”. And that influence eventually grows into the populace. Shaping reality.

Oh the grandeur! The judgement is good.

As you can see. I had little choice in the matter the strength card had to go. It works fantastically, on the political constitution. As of a few of major civilization have the national day on one if not both strength and justice cards. I had to go to astrology to find the connection for austrailia.

As in the american fealty of oath thing they do or used to do everyday before class. That’s a strength justice layout. So it really doesn’t matter if it’s classical strength as violence or strength as harmony. Because in this context it’s plainly visible. Conditional programming. Neither of them though say nothing about fortitude. The tower certainly doesn’t. Neither does the emperor. Wearing armour. Fortitude is a defensive name. Violent strength, under the guise of fortitude speaks its own message. Naw, its pressure from the world. One which one may easily shoulder if what it is serves another purpose of raising it higher. To elevate. That. That is golden.

The emperor isn’t as alone anymore.

As it turns out, the new fortitude card, is still connected to the strength card for harmony. For it is connected to the world card and comes back to the fortitude card by letter. So now the fortitude card shows the masculine elevating his woman. Supporting for her as much of the world as he can.

Or it will show oppression, guilt, shame, depression, debt or anything else that weighs on one’s conscience and spirit. It shows the unwielding. The unfolding against pressures of state. And this brings this card to a Saturn.

Vagina.

Looks better card size. The card for infinity. The dragon here serving in the realm of heaven. Is born of the strength card and of the magician card. One two three. The father, the mother, and the holy child. The number eight when not taken as two separate O’s. One way to look at look at it. The magician is a tricky card when considering layering cards and the various depiction of it. None are wrong in the sense that the sum collective answer is always very near the exact question. As above so below

Or as below so above. Which seems just as accurate. Power of manifestation. Which may just as easily be born not knowing what. The A fool, covering its eyes. As is the ace of the minor arcana without form or knowledge. It’s there. It’s started but it’s isn’t there yet. Though the dragon comes before all this. And would actively sort be god. Or the angel on charge of overseeing opérations. And yet also serves as the masculine principle. The instinctual drive. It can serve as any other card. And be found onto every other card as the fool is suggested to be in the tarot. I’m tired so pardon my sloppyness.

#tarot #tarotblr #qwerty #Emperor

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go-learn-esperanto · 3 years

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[Passerine Spoilers please scroll fast and don't read if you haven't read Passerine yet]

Ok, I decided to go to Twitter to search for a Tweet that I like (I'm almost never on Twitter) and I stumbled through Thcscus tweet explaining she wrote Phil's wife as the Samsung Smart Fridge.

Now I already knew she had done this —It's not the first time she revealed this detail —but I read the replies to her Tweet and I can't breathe

[ID:

Tweets by Kyle (@thcscus):

so um is this a good time to say that i wrote the passerine mum not as mumza but as the. the samsung smart fridge

BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW WHAT MUMZAS BOUNDARIES ARE REGARDING FANFIC SO I JUST *VAGUELY GESTURES*

THATS ALSO WHY SHES NEVER MENTIONED BY NAME LOL

Comment by Ender Mama (@EnderPandoran):

Sorry brain just thought of that scene where she cups Techno’s cheek and I just saw him getting smacked with a fridge door...

Comment by EM⁷ • Subscribe to Technoblade • 80% (@sleepybl4de):

I CANT FUCKING STOP LAUGHING. FUCKER JUST GETS HIT BY A FUCKING FRIDGE DOOR. I cant take this anymore 😭💀

Comment by CanonicalChaos (@BadlamBound):

Are you... Are you telling me I spent 15 minutes crying iver the death of a Samsung Smart Refrigerator??

Comment by dani 🇧🇷 🏳️‍🌈 ( ranboo art 📌) (@danithemoth):

i mean id also cry if one of them died. they're pretty expensive 😔

Comment by kae ✡ (@endrwalkr):

so does this make pass!tommy and pass!wilbur part fridge or

Comment by Sara :D (@Clayotic_):

Half-god half-kitchen-appliance hybrids

Comment by dolsu (@dandybrew):

so youre telling me pass!philza spent 10 years away from his family to figure out how to turn a samsung smart refrigerator back on?

Comment by prom🤡⚡ (@promsofa):

you’re telling me pass!phil abandoned his kids for ten years because his favorite sexy fridge stopped working

Comment by Dino (@dino_invisible):

One you said that I thought of the death scene and all I can image is

[Screenshot of Sad-is Sunsprite's Eulogy animatic where Tommy is crying at his mother deathbed. A photo of a Samsung Smart Fridge was put above the drawing of the mother.]

Comment by parker b. peter (@antifajasontodd):

the voices in wilburs head wasnt dream. it was bluetooth

Comment by chloe (0/9) (@mellqhis):

when she died did the light go out on the inside? did ice cubes fall from the water dispenser on the door? OH MY GOD.

Comment by Garzaa (@_AGweirdo):

"no... they take after their mothers[...]" tommy opens his mouth and a light turns on

wilbur randomly starts doing a sound similar to HMMMMMMM at random hours of the night

End ID]

#passerine #sbi #sleepy bois inc #sleepy boys inc #mcyt #thcscus #mumza #samsung smart refrigerator #philza #ph1lza #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #technoblade #passerine spoilers #twitter #image description #trixtin

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monsterenergysimp · 4 years

Text

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats super cool actually

i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

[link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x y/n #youtubers #caffeinated ramblings

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jossambird · 3 years

Text

The Scent on your coat P4

Summary: You reflect on your life choices, and despite your wants, Life had other plans for you.

Otto Octavius x F!Reader

Words: 2k

Warnings: NS/FW Subjects, No Doc in this Chapter (or is there) but building to the next part, mentions of emotional Reader, heartbreak, yearning for things you can’t have.

Ao3 Fic Link for previous parts, or on my masterlist!

“I've only ever wanted you.” You repeated into the silence of your apartment, barely listening to the news that played on tv. Images of various villains flittered on the screen, your eyes falling on the one face you couldn’t stop seeing behind your eyelids. You shut the tv off with a huff, eyes watering at the whole mess.

Hands slinging your blanket over your back, you bundled yourself up and sat in bed, pulling your other blanket over your legs and feet. You couldn’t even begin to find the correct words for just how much you had missed Otto.

Even after all this time, Otto remained as handsome as he had been the last time you had seen him all those dreadful months ago. His soft brown hair that shined red in the sunlight, his gorgeous brown eyes that used to always seek you out in a crowd.

You sighed, replaying his words in your mind. Did he mean everything he had said? He had never been a liar, that you knew…

For weeks after his accident, you had thought him dead. For months, you had listened to the radio and new outlets, slandering his work and very career once he had emerged, tentacles and all, turning to a life of crime.

How long had you mourned him, mourned the fragile friendship you had had together, mourned his work but most importantly, mourned your love for him? It had taken weeks, months even, to finally be able to step back into this laboratory and work, and not be pitied by every living soul here.

They had all known of your deep and dark secret, the love you had held so dear for the Scientist, but stayed silent.. all except for one.

Peter Parker. Sweet Peter Parker, always there for you no matter, always asking if you needed help or a shoulder to cry on, always asking how you were holding up with everything.

It had been Peter, of all people, who had saved you from the endless internal darkness that had started to consume you slowly but surely, depression sinking its claws into you and pushing you towards dangerous thoughts.

He, who had asked you if you wanted to go see a movie together. He, who had walked you home every night afterwards, only ever smiling and offering his arm whilst you tried to say it was okay.

He, who had tentatively asked you if you wanted to be his girlfriend that one summer night after a quiet walk, knowing full well how your heart held a part of itself for another.

It was he, who had kissed your lips, reassuring you that he understood what it felt like, having already lost the love of his life too.

And so, telling yourself that maybe this was what you needed to finally forget Octavius, you had given him a chance; slowly taking your time together and learning about one another, becoming closer and closer by the passing day.

Peter’s secret identity hadn't been kept from you long after you noticed Spiderman arriving at your Oscorp to walk you home, just like Peter did. He had practically fallen off a building when you asked out loud if he was done stalking you like a creep, his laugh echoing softly in the noisy New York streets.

“Aren’t you afraid a villain will come and kidnap me Pe- Spiderman?” You had asked him, grinning even though your heart clenched at the idea of *one* villain kidnapping you. Thoughts like those were burned and shooed away, trying to focus on the good and kind man that loved you.

“Don’t worry, Ill always protect you Y/N.” He assured you with a whisper, bowing his head as you stepped inside your shared apartment complex.

You had come to love him too, in a way, over time.

Your first time together was the moment you realized your heart was irreparable; Peter’s hands were on your hips, holding you softly as he fucked you but in that moment, another man’s name found itself on your lips, a name all too familiar to you, trying to make its way out and into the air between you. You hadn’t let it, swallowing both it and your shame down, sorrow coursing through you as Peter called out your name.

A few days later, on an early September day, as you turned away from the amazing view from your apartment window, the wind blowing your hair from your face, you had felt it; Nervous energy in the air, shudders wracking your body.

Peter Parker asked you to marry him on the same balcony moments after.

No amount of preparation would have ever prepared you for the absolute heartbreak you had felt as the man before you wore bruises shaped like claws, deep cuts and barely fading scars, crooked grin smiling up at you with a ring in hand, waiting.

“I know I’m not him, and you aren’t her, but I'd like to love you for the rest of my life.”

You had sobbed under the loud noise of the shower until the water turned cold, and after.

Though now, sitting here alone in your living room, you wondered why life sought to hurt you so.

Soon you would be married to a sweet man who loved you, adored you, and all fantasies of the tall Doctor Octavius would have to be forgotten and erased.

You sighed again, burying your face into your blanketed hands, trying to will yourself to stop feeling this way. Peter deserved someone who loved him with all their heart, not someone who craved another and had let said man eat them out in their previous work place.

A knock sounded at your front door and you frowned, standing, wrapped in your blankets still, to answer.

Would it be possible… that he would come? Would he knock on the door, or simply open it, hands seeking you out and untying your robe, touching what he had already accidentally claimed?

As you turned the handle and opened the door, your inner shame grew, eyes landing on the smiling face of your best friend Allie.

“Thought Id come see how the bride-to-be was feeling! How- Oh my god Y/N what's wrong?” Allie said in a rush as she saw tears form in your beautiful eyes, stepping inside in a hurry to comfort you. You could barely let out a sob, let alone words, arms wrapping around the woman.

“Y/N, babydoll, what's going on? You can talk to me, you know that right? Nothing leaves this room, only between you and me.” Your best friend whispered, holding you tightly.

She pulled away, arms still wrapped around you but just enough to see your face, and you knew she had figured it out, knew she had pieced it together. “Oh, Y/N… It’ll be okay, it’ll go away.”

What Allie failed to know though, was that you didn’t want it to go away, still feeling his soft but firm fingers holding your thighs and ankles, kisses laid against your skin.

You didn’t want your love for Otto Octavius to disappear, just like the words of love and adoration groaned along your thighs and core, expressive brown eyes seeking yours out in desperation. Desperate for what, you still didn’t know, but it made your heart race, thinking that the renowned Doctor Octavius and villain Doctor Octopus wanted to see you reach ecstasy by his hand and his alone, desperate for only his name to find itself on your tongue.

And you felt even more horrible for it.

Allie held you close, blankets wrapped around the both of you as she flicked through channels on TV.

“Want to talk about it?” She whispered, eyes still trailed on the TV but you knew her attention was solely on you.

What was there to say in a situation like this?

“No.” You croaked out, snuggling closer against her in an effort to forget everything, forget the outside world, forget the fact that the very man you wanted most of all was also somewhere out there. You weren’t surprised when Allie sighed, the sound of the TV shutting off. She laid down beside you, worried eyes gazing back at you.

“You know, it's not…” Allie paused, breath caught in her throat at the sight of you.

“It's not abnormal for marriages to be cancelled.” She continued, her eyes flickering over your face for a sign that you were understanding her meaning. You could barely breathe as she waited, the implication of her words sounding out.

“Allie thats- Peter, he-“ you tried, heart breaking at the idea of telling Peter you could no longer marry him. Allie, the beautiful thing she was, faked a gag and rose up, sitting beside you.

“Y/N, forget Pete for the moment okay? He doesn’t exist right here, right now.” She started, turning back towards your surprised visage with a finger pointed at you.

“I will always be here for you. I know you aren’t happy… I just want you to know that it’s never too late to cancel anything.”

You cried that night, silently into your pillow, never acknowledging the words she had spoken. Allie remained with you for the next few days, never uttering another word of the subject she had begun, helping you instead prepare for your wedding.

That night, you dreamt of large hands pulling you close and whispers of love pressed against your breast, heartbeat steady as he asked the one thing you could never lie about:

“Do you love me, Y/N? Me, and only me?” He whispered, lips moving against your collarbone, heated kisses following his words.

“I've only ever loved you.” You whispered back and watched the Otto before you smile, his hold turning bruising.

New York, even at night, was never silent. Noises could be heard everywhere and anywhere, people out and about, some heading home and some heading out.

Allie liked the hustle and bustle of the town, always eager to find a new Hole-in-the-wall type of bar or restaurant to get drunk in, and tonight, after saying she wanted to make you feel better with sushi, hadn’t been any different. She hummed under her breath and dutifully followed you back to your apartment, the both of you enjoying each other’s presence.

Convenience store bags in hand, you looked back at Allie as she wobbled, her steps mismatched, a half empty beer can in hand.

“Come on Al, we're almost there!” You laughed, watching her try to Hopscotch along the street. She stopped, eyes wide and smile even wider, throwing the beer can into the air and away from the both of you, making you cringe as it hit the ground.

“Oh my god- Was that a laugh!?” She yelled happily, the smell of beer and sake wafting off of her as she ran up beside you and held you close, arms trapped in her hold. You couldn’t help but smile at your best friend, mouth opening to chastise her for littering but you didn’t have the time; a faint melody met both your ears and Allie beamed, disentangling herself from you. You barely had time to register what song it was before she leaned away, breathing in sharply and letting loose.

“You should have bought her flowers!” She sang out, words echoing in the streets around you. Sang was perhaps too kind of a word though, as she scratchily belted out Bruno Mars lyrics.

“Shh! Oh my god Allie, shhhhhhh! Shut up!” You tried, running after her as she continued back to your apartment complex, uncaring of the people passing you by.

“You should’ve held her hand! Should’ve given her all your hours!” You barely made it in time to her, free hand rising to try and quiet her, heart racing as you imagined someone hearing-

“But now she’s marrying another man!”

Her words felt like a bath of freezing cold water, any remnants of alcohol in your system instantly evaporating.

She was right. You were, and no matter what fantasies and dreams you liked to imagine, you knew that life couldn’t continue like this, childishly hoping and wishing for another man to come sweep you up.

#allie totally not based on a real friend of mine 👀#otto octavius #doc ock #doc ock x reader #otto octavius x reader #jossambird fic #doctor octavius #minors dni #f!reader #the scent on your coat fic

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notbleachtea · 3 years

Text

Favorite Shirt

Okay time to post again. Slight warnings, mention of death, toxic relationship, slight emotional abuse.

Word count ~2.9k

"Tch, I guess it’s about time I clean my desk. I can't work with all of this crap on it." Jotaro annoyedly says.

While cleaning off the countless stacks of paper he pauses. All desire to clean is quickly knocked out of him. He sits back down in his desk chair holding the group picture you all took in Egypt. He glances over each face in the image, some happy memories, some not so much. He would give anything to go back in time to change the way things played out. So many stupid mistakes. His eyes immediately halt when he gets to yours. His face expressed sorrow and longing.

His favorite memories of the two of you start to come rushing back to his head, and for a moment, he smiles. The constant flirting that always occured between the two of you. The silent stares you each felt from one another. No matter how much the others teased you two, you still weren't sure if admitting your feelings was the best idea. You each had your own reasons for keeping distant. The mission was much more important anyway, and so was your friendship.

He recalls one of his favorite memories with you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long week of tiresome stand battles, the closer you got to Egypt, the more intense they became. He noticed this was taking quite the toll on you and made the gang find a hotel that night so you could get some much needed rest. In the meantime he suggested that you use him as a pillow in the car on the way there.

Honestly, you took him up on the offer. You took everything you could at the time knowing that it would never go any further no matter how bad you wanted it to. Your head rested on his large chest, which was surprisingly soft for how tough he was. Every now and then he'd tug on his hat to cover his face when in fact he was just trying to steal a few glances at your peaceful, resting figure.

"Alright, we're here, group up and we'll get going into our rooms," Joseph states.

"I ca-"

"She's staying with me. There's no discussing it." Jotaro then picks you up and carries you to your room.

You started to wake up from the movements and the background noise going on in the hotel, and the first thing you saw was Jotaro's face when you opened your

eyes.

"Clearly I must be dreaming," you thought.

"Look who decided to wake up." he scoffed at you. "Really left it up to me to carry you all the way up here."

"I'm so sorry! I won't let it-"

"That's enough. I was just kidding anyway. You fought really hard today, it's the least I could do."

You smiled back at him as he set you down on the bed. That was honestly all the thanks he needed.

"Anyway, I'm going to go get something to eat, I'll bring something back for you if you want, but you should probably get some real rest soon."

You began to crawl up into the bed in your dirty and torn clothes from the day you just had.

"Good grief, what do you think you're doing? You're really going to sleep in a nice clean bed in your dirty clothes??"

"Well, I don't really have any clean clothes left right now, so, unless you have a better ide-"

You were quickly cut off with a soft hit to the face. Jotaro threw one of his clean shirts at you.

"Here. You can use this. It'll be more comfortable anyway."

Jotaro had left to go pick up some food and when he came back he was greeted with his favorite shirt filled with his favorite person. Wearing only that shirt made you look much smaller than you actually were, it practically went down to your knees.

"Thanks Jotaro! I promise I'll get it back to you as soon as I can."

"Keep it. It looks better on you anyway." He cooly tried to say as he pulled his hat down over his eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After everything that had happened in Egypt, you just wanted to get away from it all for a while. Go out on your own to a new place with no reminder of the loved ones you lost and all the feelings you never acted on. As a thank you for your hard work, the SpeedWagon Foundation offered to pay for everything of whatever you decided to do. You thought maybe you'd try going to school in America for a while. It was great, you had all the experiences you grew up seeing in movies and on TV. You made plenty of new friends there and even dipped your toes in the dating pool.

Right after you finished school, you and your boyfriend got married. You thought that's what you ought to do, you've been with him for so long. Everyone thought you were the perfect couple. He always took you out on extravagant dates and bought you expensive jewelry. Every girl wanted to be you. But that was only because they didn't know what happened behind closed doors. He never physically hurt you, not many people could, I mean you could hold your

own in Egypt, you're pretty tough, but mentally, he knew you were weak. You would confide in him in the beginning of your relationship about all your friends back home that you missed. He never let you call home or talk to them either. The ones you could never see again. Everytime he wanted you to hurt he would just remind you that they were dead because you weren't there for them, you weren't strong enough to save them. Countless letters came in from your friends and family and he'd throw them away before you could see them. He would even tell you that no one was writing to you anymore.

Every now and then you manage to chat with Jotaro. He'd call you on your lunch break at work from time to time just to play catch up. Asking things like 'how's life?' and 'are you doing okay?' and the sort of thing. Everytime you told him you were doing great. You love your husband and you even try to brag about how well he treats you by describing all the luxurious gifts he's been buying you. Everytime Jotaro ended the call saying he was happy for you and then a

quick update on his life.

To be honest, Jotaro wasn't falling for your phone calls. He knew something was wrong, but he never knew how bad it really was. He thought it was strange that you never wrote to him or called him outside of your work hours. It was also strange how you never really went into depth about your personal life either.

One fateful day, you're having a routine call with Jotaro when your husband decided to stop by to take you out to lunch. He asked the secretary why your door was closed to which she simply responded, "Oh, she's talking to her childhood friend Jotaro! He usually calls about this time every week."

He walks into your office catching you off guard while you're still on the phone. The shock alone causes you to drop the phone with a quiet screech.

"Y/n, are you there?" Jotaro stays on the line worried about what he just heard.

Your husband shuts your office door leaving just the two of you in there and is yelling just loud enough to where your coworkers can't hear him.

"I thought I told you no one wanted to talk to you anymore? They're all fed up with you, can't believe you let your friends die back in Egypt. They'll never

forgive you for that."

"You're right I'm sorry just please don't do this here."

"What makes you think you can tell *me* what to do? That's not how this works. And who gave you permission to talk to other guys? There's going to be some serious consequences for this when you come home." He walks out of your office smiling at all of your coworkers like nothing had just happened, followed by a shut of your office door and your muffled cries.

"Y/n?? Are you still there? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"Wh- what did you hear?" You managed to squeak out, choking back tears.

"I heard enough y/n, he's not a good guy. I knew something was wrong. We have to get you out of there."

"No. This is my life now. I don't need your help, I told you I'm perfectly fine."

"Y/n I'm not kidding, you have to get out of there *now* and I won't take no for an answer."

"I can't, okay! I have nowhere to go. No one would believe me if I said the things he's done to me. Anyone who I try to run to just rats me out to him and the situation gets worse."

"Y/n, go pack your most essential things while he's out of the house. I'm buying you a ticket home for tonight. You'll be safe here this time tomorrow."

The instant care Jotaro had just shown you only causes you to cry more. How could you let yourself get like this? You really weren't okay. You were just too headstrong to admit anything was wrong.

"Thank you." You were able to muster through even more tears.

After picking yourself up off the floor and drying your face, you left your office, no intention to come back. You rushed home to grab only your essential items while your husband was finishing his day at work. You grabbed a few sets of clothing, your toothbrush, hair and makeup accessories, a few pairs of shoes, and your folder of important documents. Everything else was replaceable and or retrievable at a later date.

You take a deep breath and get the courage to call a ride to the airport.

Free from your husband's control, you weren't scared to text or call Jotaro on your own phone now. You called him letting him know that you were on your way.

One short plane ride across the ocean later and Jotaro was waiting there for you to take you home. You're not sure how long he was there for but you're convinced he was waiting there since before you even took off.

"Y/n, over here." He waves you over.

You walk over shyly and ashamed of what he had witnessed just the day before. You couldn't even pick your head up enough to look him in the eyes.

"Y/n it's okay now. You're here with me, he can't get to you right now."

"Ye- yeah I guess you're right. So where do I go now?"

"C'mon, I'll take you back to my place."

"We're stopping there before the hotel?"

"I'm not letting you stay alone right now. You're staying with me at my house. The only reason I let you fly alone was because it got you out of there faster."

Jotaro takes your bag and you both head to the taxi.

"C'mon short stuff, get those legs movin' faster."

"Hey! Not everyone can be freakishly tall."

Jotaro raises one eyebrow, "So I'm a freak, aye?"

"Sorr-"

"Don't apologize, you're already more vocal when you're free around here. I like it."

The taxi drops you two off at his house. The drive felt like an eternity when in reality it was only a few short minutes. You stared out the car door window in awe.

*So this is what he's been up to this whole time*

"Well c'mon now, let's get inside."

You quickly follow after him like a lost puppy.

"There's a spare bedroom upstairs and down the hall, why don't you take this time to relax and freshen up while I make us something to eat?"

"You really don't have to do this for me Jotaro, but I appreciate it."

You head upstairs with your bag. It really was a long flight. You decide to take a quick shower and put on some clean clothes.

About an hour goes by when Jotaro comes by your room to collect you.

"Dinners ready y/n."

"Okay, I'll be right out, I just have to put some makeup on first."

"Uhh, what for? We're not going out anywhere."

"I don't know. I just always do. He always made me wear makeup, even at the house, I guess I'm just used to it."

Jotaro quickly turns around and starts heading towards the kitchen, but not without leaving a remark, "well don't. You look better without it anyway."

You follow soon after him with a fresh blank face. The table has already been set beautifully and you can already smell your favorite dish. He brings over two plates of food followed by a new bottle of wine.

"Why don't we catch up for real this time?" He asks.

Hours go by at the dinner table along with a few bottles of wine. The two of you bickering just like the old days. You missed this. You needed this.

You finally caught a glimpse of the time and stood up to help clean up the table.

"You don't need to help clean this up y/n. We can even clean it up tomorrow. Why don't we go talk in the living room for a bit longer?"

You move forward as an attempt to get to the couch, finally realizing how much you actually drank, you're quite tipsy in fact. Jotaro moves over to the couch to join you. Sitting side by side he grabs your hand with a guilty look on his face.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault."

Clearly he's a bit tipsy too if he's actually trying to admit being at fault right now.

"None of this is your fault Jotaro, what are you going on about?"

"If I was just straight with you when we were younger. If I actually had the courage to say something to you. Maybe you would have stayed. Maybe you would've ended up with me instead. Instead I thought you were too good for me."

Your eyes start to swell up. "Don't say that. Ever. I'm the one that's not good enough for you. Why would you ever want someone like me?"

"Well, you're you, that's why. You're strong, you held your own in the desert, you tried your hardest for us and you made it out. I've never met anyone as strong as you, and to know that someone took advantage of you? And I wasn't there to protect you? I'm so sorry for all of it."

Now full on ugly crying again, Jotaro wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a hug.

"I'm so sorry Jotaro. Can you forgive me?"

He lifts up your crying head by your chin and brushes all your loose pieces of hair out of your face. He holds you here until you return the look into his deep aqua eyes. He moves forward, crashing his lips into yours. There was no hesitation on your end, you kissed him back just as hungrily. Neither of you needed words to figure out what the other one was thinking. You could feel the admittance of your love for each other from just that embrace. Jotaro pulls back and pushes your head into his chest so he can hold you once again. He pats your head.

"It's all okay now, I'm sorry it took this long," and he leaves a kiss on the top of your head.

The moment is only ended by your yawning since you've been up for lord knows how long. Jotaro picks you up and carries you in his arms to his room. He notices the slight confusion in your face.

"I was thinking maybe you sleep in here with me tonight, kinda like old times?"

"Okay, just let me go change into my pajamas. I don't want to get in the nice clean bed in my dirty clothes.".

You walk back into his room in just his old t-shirt you kept from the desert.

"You really kept that old thing?" He spouted.

"I really did. It's how I kept you close that whole time I was gone." You said with an embarrassed smile.

"It really does look better on you ya know?" He says through a full face of blush. Just seeing you again in that shirt made him think of all the things he wanted to do to you now and then.

You moved to go lay down alongside Jotaro in his massive bed. He always wanted to know what it'd be like to hold you in his arms in his own bed.

Jotaro pulls you into his chest to hold you tight, with no intention of letting you go. He places a delicate kiss on your cheek. You squeeze his hand as a subtle sign of acceptance and nuzzle into his broad figure.

“Goodnight y/n. Sleep tight.”

#jotaro kujo #jojo #jjba x reader #jjba #jjba jotaro #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro x reader #jojo jotaro #jojosbizzareadventure #jjba pt 3

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