#also i know exactly what those locked ones are but i won't reveal them until later
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Profile: Voice-Over(Yuuki and Moon)
Below the cut is a not-so-quick overview of Yuuki's various voice lines if she was playable I guess? Moon speaks as well, italicized
Entries with a(*) are new!
Hello: I'm Yuuki, a world traveling adventurer. If you've got any- "Hmm, and who is this, Master?" Ugh... and this is Moon. It's an... odd story.
Chat, Drink: You need to take the edge off? I can give you a quick drink if you want. Kidding, kidding!
Chat, Impatience: "Enough standing around. Get a move on!" Moon! Don't be so rude!
Chat, relax: Sometimes it is nice to take a break.
When it Rains: *SIgh* Great. My coat is going to take forever to dry...
When Thunder Strikes: It's getting bad out. Maybe we should go inside?
When it Snows: Brrr, it's cold... better find a warm Seelie.
When the Sun is Out: Haaah, that sun feels nice... Let's just lay on the grass for a bit!
When the Wind is Blowing: Feel that? That's the blessing of Barbatos at our backs!
In the Desert: "Aah, I still have memories of when this wasn't a desert..."
Good Morning: Morning! I was about to head out, you want to come?
Good Afternoon: *Yawn* I could really use a pick-me-up. You want some coffee?
Good Evening: Hey, come with me. There's a spot that looks absolutely beautiful this time of day!
Good Night: "Sleep well, I'll watch over you and wake you if anything happens. Don't worry, as an AI, I have no need for sleep."
About Yuuki: Running: Back in Mondstadt, I would often sneak out and climb the windmills in the city. I just... had to get out of the house, you know?
About Yuuki: Journey: I wonder, if you saw me now, would you be proud of me, mother?
About Yuuki: Truth: Locked
About Us: Adventuring: This journey of ours... I hope it never ends, moon. "......"
About Us: The Sword: You know, I've been calling this the Ruin Blade, but I don't think it's actually connected to Kaehnri'ah. I'm starting to think it might be from a different world entirely.
About Us: Aeternus: Locked
About the Vision: I'm very happy that this reawakened for me. No matter where I go or what I do, she's always with me. Plus the Anemo energy works very well with the elements the Ruin Blade uses. Almost like it was meant to be.
About the Vision 2: Locked
Something to Share: Fragments: It's hard to believe that these little things contain a piece of a person. "I'm not a person, I'm a machine! It isn't that hard to comprehend! "
Something to Share: Teyvat: This world is so rich in history, secrets and culture. It's my life's goal to uncover and learn all of it.
Interesting Things: Moon knows a lot despite being broken. You can ask her almost anything and she should be able to answer! Unfortunately, that doesn't mean she'll actually tell you.
About Moon: I found the sword in Stormterrors' Lair, but Moon I first found in Enkanomiya. To think, they're more than a thousand years old... but so much more advanced than anything here in Teyvat. At least from what I've seen.
About Moon 2: Locked
About Jean: I hope Grand Master Varka returns from his expedition soon. Maybe then I can finally see Jean relax. Nah, knowing her, she won't. 'For Mondstadt, as always...'
About Diluc: Master Diluc... hehe, it's always a good night when he's working at Angel's Share! "You drunkard."
About Venti: Winds: "You do know that bard is Barbatos, right?" Don't be ridiculous, Moon. "Don't be daft. Have you seen anyone else with that much control over Anemo? Pay attention to what he says and does, you'll see!"
About Eula: One thing I've never understood is why most of Mondstadt is so rude to her for what her... ancestors did? That never made sense to me, Captain Lawrence seems like a perfectly good person. That said... she makes me nervous, it's that whole vengeance thing.
About Amber: Y'know, it's because of Amber that I tried out for the Knights. Seeing her try so hard to become an Outrider like her grandfather really inspired me. Heh, good for her.
About Amane: You know, my first thought of him was that he was a loner putting up a literal cold air to push people away. Goes to show you not to judge a book by it's cover. "I don't like the way he looks at you." W-what? Where did that come from?!
About Zhongli: "Over there, is that Morax?" What, no that's Mr. Zhongli. I swear Moon, you might be a bit broken. Still... I kind of want to introduce myself.
*About Zhongli: Help: That power, back at the Chasm. Do you think it was the work of Rex Lapis? "I told you he was alive! That Exuvia back then was fake!" Hm, maybe...
*About Xiao: Help: Hey Moon, next time we're at the Wangshu Inn, remind me to leave some almond tofu out. "Why?" For the Guardian Yaksha, of course! I need to thank him for his blessing back at the Chasm. It must've hurt to not help directly.
About Ningguang: The Tianquan? I once saw her at a pretty cheap food stall buying Mora Meat! She looked like she was enjoying herself too, it's nice to see someone so high up the ladder enjoy something so... simple.
About Tartaglia: Fatui: I'd love to fight Childe honestly. I wonder if the other Harbingers are actually stronger than him...
About Blair: Locked
About Yun Jin: Her operas are something else! I- "Clearly. You spent nearly a week going in and out of that damned tea house for those shows and stories." S-so!? I can appreciate good art when I see it!
About the Raiden Shogun: Curiosity: I wonder if the Shogun still takes duels... "Don't you dare!"
About the Raiden Shogun: Truth: "If you ever get chummy with Raiden Ei, ask her about artificial bodies. Maybe I could have something commissioned like the Shogun puppet." Moon, what are you on about?
About Kamisato Ayato: Ah, the Kamisato siblings. My mother was close with their parents, so I would see them on occasion when we were really young. I wonder... does he still remember me?
About Faruzan: Aside from Kris, Madam Faruzan is the only person to truly show any real interest in the Ruin Blade. Unfortunately, the only thing she was able to tell me is that 'the name is incorrect.' Pft, obviously... I just can't think of anything cooler!
About Nilou: I happened to pass by one of her troupe's shows, and I must say... I was enthralled, for lack of a better word. *Sigh* I should really go back to the Zubayr Theater. I really want to express how enchanting they are, especially Nilou. She dances like... like... agh I can't find a good word for it!
About Kris: That poor girl blames herself for the accident that took her sister from her. She's dedicated her entire life to finding her again, and because of it... hasn't really led a life. I hope she can find at least some time not worrying and fretting.
*About Karma: I like her hustle! Honestly, if I wasn't an Adventurer, I would probably have become a merchant like her. "What about the Knights?" Maybe, but finding odd items all over and selling them to interesting people? Sounds kinda nice, I won't lie.
About Lesser Lord Kusanali: Truth: "Well well, the previous Archon's reincarnation has finally grown wings of her own. Good for her, I cannot wait to see her fly." Huh? Lesser Lord Kisanali isn't a reincarnation, she lost her power, right? Or something like that, according to archives.
About Wanderer: "Foolish Ballader, you cannot hide your true identity. A discarded puppet, the sixth Fatui Harbinger, a failed god, you will always be those things, no matter how hard you try to hide them." Huh? What? There isn't even a sixth Harbinger, what are you talking about with all this?
About Ruby: There is something about that woman that I can't put my finger on. "My suggestion is to stay away from her. Not only is she not human, she's barely comprehensible." Moon, that just makes me even more interested!
About Lyza: Rival: Haha, I've been hired by Kris to find her, but I can't help but be caught up in the moment every time we fight. Lyza is... she's not like anyone I've faced before. Is this what having a rival is like? "No you idiot! Ugh, that poor girl. Having to deal with those curses, forced servitude, and you."
About Lyza: Family: I wonder, if I was in her situation, would my father expend as much time and energy into finding me? It could have just as easily been me with you, you know. "Mmh, perhaps. That girl does have quite a caring family. I do hope she can see that again."
*About Lyza: Aid: "You did a good thing for that girl, Yuuki. I'm proud of you." Lyza, she... she deserves better than what she's had. I'm just glad we were able to help. I couldn't have done it without you.
About Lyza: Rebirth: Locked
About Neuvillette: The Chief Justice, or Iudex of Fontaine... I hear he's incredibly knowledgeable on all manner of things and has been around for a long time. I'd love to pick his brain about a few things.
About Furina: I sat in a trial once, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she's... ah, never mind. I shouldn't bad mouth an Archon like that.
About Clorinde: Beautiful and strong? Haha, a small part of me wants to get arrested just for the chance to fight her! Hmm... nah.
*About the Knave: Test: The fourth of the Fatui Harbingers... I hear her strength rivals the Archons themselves. With this new power I have, I... I have to test myself against her!
About P: Revenge: Locked
More About Yuuki 1: I'm actually from Inazuma. Before moving to Mondstadt, I lived with my family in the middle of the city. We weren't too far from the Komore Teahouse, although we were never allowed entry.
More About Yuuki 2: I had quite a few odd jobs when I was younger, after moving to Mondstadt that is. I helped at Quinn's stand, ran deliveries for Sara, and even helped out Grand Master Varka! *Sigh* Things were simpler back then. But not necessarily better. Heh, I did a lot to get away from my father.
More About Yuuki 3: Before I became an Adventurer, I actually tried to join the Knights. Back then, I was doing anything to get out of the house, but... I don't know, something stopped me from following through. I was told I had what it takes and had more than enough skill, but I just couldn't finish. I wonder what kind of person that makes me...
More About Yuuki 4: Locked
More about Yuuki 5: Locked
Yuuki's Hobbies: Aw, this is a bit embarrassing, but... I like to draw. I've drawn a lot of the landscapes that I've visited and a few... portraits. Wha- you... want to see? Nngh... fine. Just don't be too harsh, okay?
Yuuki's Troubles: Moon likes to butt into conversations a lot, usually to inform or correct something in a conversation. "Please, I bring life to some of those boring conversations with boring people!" It's... complicated to explain to people exactly what's happening.
Yuuki's Troubles 2: Locked:
Favorite Food: Aah, I'm not super picky. As long as it's cooked properly, filling and I can have a good drink with it, I'll probably eat it. Especially if I can eat it on the go.
Least Favorite Food: Hmm, I'm not a fan of making soups and stews when I'm out. Clean-up is such a pain, and it's so easy to get the seasoning wrong.
Receiving a Gift 1: Oh wow, this is delicious! Thank you so much!
Receiving a Gift 2: Mmh, you're quite the cook, aren't you? Very nice.
Receiving a Gift 3: Oh... uh... wow... thanks...
Birthday: Happy Birthday! Where do you want to go? From breakfast in Liyue to dinner in Fontaine to star-gazing in Inazuma. Anywhere you want, I'll have you want, in a jiffy!
Feelings About Ascension: Intro: I can feel it... this sword's ancient power!
Feelings About Ascension: Building Up: "Well well well. You found me. I guess this makes you Aeternus, hmm? Well? Come on, take me! I will give you what you desire, my master~"
Feelings About Ascension: Climax: So this is the power of Darkness... the element that Lyza used. I'm... not sure I like how this makes me feel.
Feelings About Ascension: Conclusion: Locked
#( headcanons. )#;;wandering wind(yuuki)#;;star watcher(moon)#ngl i actually had a lot of fun making this despite how long it turned out to be!#i also finished it at like 2am last night so i'm posting it now!#also i know exactly what those locked ones are but i won't reveal them until later#unless you want to message me about them#kidding#or am i?
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in light of gojo's unsealing, ive thought about diff cute scenarios
gojo being the type of person to get his mate's phone and snap hundreds of pictures of his face
this would probably never happen given gojo's privacy when it comes to his marriage but in a different world i can see this happening Gojo naming his alpha as "mochi seller' on his phone and Itadori seeing the message pop out from the lock screen and accidentally somewhat outing gojo's rs when he asks him in front of the other students why the mochi seller sent an ily message
the tender moments where gojo lets his infinity down or lets his alpha inside his infinity and he gets to relish in the warmth of their skin
the sappy things gojo's alpha has to sometimes do whenever gojo gets too rowdy and they need to placate him for whatever reason (re: alpha reading a map together with nanami scenario)
gojo sending his alpha a picture of two rocks by the sidewalk with the caption: 'us'
gojo asking his alpha if they would still love him if he was a worm and the alpha saying: "no<33"
Awww! These were really cute anon! Very happy ending which I feel like we're going to need a lot of in the coming weeks...
(Also I ran with it but why is their name "mochi seller" haha)
[Ao3 link for those who prefer chapters]
⬖ Photomaton
"Device storage insufficient, please move or delete files to make room?" you read, nonplussed.
Nobara sighed. "Sensei, I showed you how to do that weeks ago."
"I did do it." You frowned, opening up your files. Why were there so many pictures...
Nobara rolled her eyes at you and beat a hasty retreat when your hand went to your mouth as your face went warm.
There were rows and rows of photos, none of which you had taken.
Most of them were selfies, but some of them were obviously the result of Satoru propping the phone up and attempting to pose for the camera.
He must have been swiping your phone every time you left it sitting out or went to sleep. He didn't rest much, but there were so many, more probably than you'd been able to take in the last five years.
There wasn't much thought for such things when you only saw one another a handful of days every month. The focus had gone to managing the present, not on taking pictures. You'd only really thought to regret it after that terrible Halloween, when you worried you'd never see him again.
Some of the photos framed Satoru inside one of your homes. Others were almost ugly shots, taken way too close, or blurred with motion artifact. There were pictures of him haloed in the night glow of streetlights or washed out in the halogen light of a konbini. There were those made grainy with low light and some that took your breath away because he was nice looking.
Furtively, you looked up but were alone and you silently thanked your student's exasperated impatience. A few of the photos showed just too much skin to be exactly proper.
You thumbed down. The pictures were a story all their own revealing some of what Satoru did when alone and you savored the honesty. You had to keep apart from one another for so long.
The last thing in the camera roll was a video.
It opened with the shuffling sounds and the wobbling display of someone walking. Satoru wound around furniture in the darkened interior of your apartment.
"I'm home. You're asleep right now," he said lowly, "probably won't be later. I don't know how most people can sleep so much." He spoke half to himself, the deep night laying over his words like velvet.
There was the sound of the door to the little balcony opening and then the faint tinkle of the glass bells hanging from the eaves.
"Must be nice," he mused, "you get to miss a lot."
The image on the screen steadied as he rested your phone on the rail. The familiar view of the city resolved as faint golden starbursts of light. The rustling of Satoru's clothing faded until all you could hear was the faint rush of night wind and his breathing.
The video went on for over a quarter of an hour. You scrolled your fingers across the screen. He didn't move, the picture stayed the same. You leaned against a wall and listened to the last few moments, your heartbeat low and slow, your breath in sync with his from some time both here and long ago.
Satoru spoke, amused over the night-sounds:
"Don't delete this. I'll know."
⬖ Daifuku
"Good job," Gojo congratulated his dust-stained students as the veil fell.
Maki and Toge glared while Yuuji gave him a tired thumbs up from where he was laying on the ground.
"Dinner is on me tonight." Gojo ignored their halfhearted grumbling. "Decide where you want to go."
He anticipated a larger than normal ding to his wallet, but they'd earned it (and it wasn't as though he couldn't afford it). Beating this curse was no minor feat and it had been a particularly crafty one, which was why Gojo had gone with them just in case.
The students made noises of acknowledgement with varying levels of anticipation, but to no one's surprise, Yuuji was the first to roll over and dig around for his phone.
He tapped the screen and groaned.
"Sensei, mine's dead. Can I use yours?"
Gojo unlocked it and passed it over without a thought. He wasn't particularly hungry, the kids could figure this out without his interference for once.
"Um, Gojo-sensei?"
"Hm?"
"Why is a "mochi seller" reminding you to stop at the pharmacy and sending you heart emojis?"
With uncanny synchrony, Maki and Toge's heads turned to look at their teacher.
The phone in Yuuji's hand buzzed faintly.
"I love you?" he read, sounding alarmed.
Toge's eyes went a bit wide but a grin that curled a bit too much at the edges and showed teeth took over Maki's face.
"Text back," she said, scrambling to her feet.
With all her quickness, she swooped in and snatched the phone when Yuuji hesitated.
The phone buzzed once more.
"I'll be home by 8:30, probably," she read.
Gojo took advantage of Maki's triumphant look to slip the device from her grip.
"I knew it!" she pointed at him. "I knew you were hiding something."
"Grown ups hide lots of things," he replied blithely. He was confident none of the students could tell that moment had been more like someone walking over his grave.
It was not as though he intended to hide his relationship with you. Hide implied shame, concealment on the other hand had been security and was harder to let go of. There would come a moment when the kids prised the truth from him. He was not about to have that moment with his kids now, or hopefully ever, because they accidentally read his texts out loud.
Maki reached for his phone and he easily tipped out of her way, walking off and heading towards a neighborhood he knew (and the students did not) had a lot of very good restaurants.
He was silently very thankful when the implied threat of no food at all distracted the students. Or at least had Yuuji barreling past Maki and kindly dropping the matter in favor of promising to "only look at the map this time, was there a good katsudon place nearby?"
⬖ Goose Down
Satoru spotted you hunched over a rail with your umbrella open overhead, held in the crook of your elbow.
He could tell from the set of your shoulders that the summer sun was getting to you, despite the cursed tool taking a majority of the pressure off.
Your energy was butter yellow and burnt red and lithium pink, mixing slowly around your body as you slowly cycled power into the umbrella and the short sword held loosely in your hands.
Satoru ducked around a corner and took a peak at your face. Your eyes were closed.
Smirking quietly to himself, he crept around, Infinity a barrier between himself and the world. For just a little longer...
You jumped when he dropped it, nearly dropping your sword and automatically holding the umbrella high enough for him to fit under it.
"Hah-"
"Speechless?"
You gaped at him, mouth hanging open.
He nodded as if you'd just confirmed it. "This is what they don't tell you about marriage. Making someone's heart race is important even after the wedding. We'll probably be together forever at this rate."
You mouth closed and then went a little wobbly.
"It's hot," you finally said, miserably. "And it's too sunny."
He couldn't hold back his laughter as he stepped closer and folded himself around you. Your scent tingled pleasantly in his nose and your skin was warm from both heat and light, like a sun-warmed blanket.
"Oh," you said faintly, "you're cool," and you all but melted against him.
"You could just go inside," Satoru said. "I sent the students off on an adventure. We wouldn't be bothered."
"That sounds nice," you murmured, but didn't make any move away from him.
He didn't either. He didn't feel much like letting go yet.
⬖ Orange Kazoo
Sometimes, you reminded yourself through your already strained patience, Satoru just needed to be left alone to make noise.
For a moment, you considered begging him for just a little peace, but you knew he was doing this for your benefit. Shibata Kin was a difficult pill to swallow.
"I never expected anyone to send Six Eyes to join us."
It was the weakest and most recent of Shibata's barbs. The oily way he said it and the implication that anyone would dare to subordinate Satoru to this boot licker rankled.
Satoru crinkled the package extra loud on a bit of melon bread and smiled. "I was in the neighborhood."
He took a bite, chewed and swallowed while you flipped through the mission report on a clipboard.
You sighed, exhaling your worry, and handed it back. "Let's go then. It looks like all the victims disappeared from the same place so we should start there."
That place was a building that straddled a moderately busy subway station and stacked part of a shopping mall, a cluster of private clinics, and a cram school all on top of each other.
Satoru trailed behind through the store, stopping at kiosks and chatting with saleswomen, picking up and putting down objects.
You could feel Shibata's irritation transform into something far less internal as he turned to you.
"He's like a child," he remarked coolly. "Sure we shouldn't just ditch him? The curse doesn't sound that hard to deal with since I've got you."
When you ignored him, he kept talking.
"He shouldn't even be here," the man drawled.
You shrugged. "Well he is."
Shibata sourly appeared to swallow whatever else he wanted to say. You turned around to see where Satoru had gone to. The thought of being stuck with the bitter other sorcerer was worse than waiting for them to pick their bickering back up.
He waved a stuffed cat in sunglasses at you and nodded eager agreement when you pointed out a cute little sparrow holding an umbrella on a shelf behind him. Sometimes, it was best to just humor Satoru and play along.
When you turned back, Shibata Kin was gone.
Since you were all concealing your residuals from the curse you expected was in the building, you had no idea where he went.
You looked over your shoulder. Satoru was gone too.
Well.
You tapped your fingers over your pocket and then decided to let them go. Satoru always seemed to know where to find you and Shibata had called you here as backup. You should probably go kill what you were looking for before it nibbled on him.
Many fewer curses than you expected lingered in the shopping mall. They were bizarre places with as many secret passageways as an ancient castle. Away from the popular shops and crowds, it quickly grew quiet and the bright gleam of displays gave way to more neglected halls.
On your way, you passed a small bank of capsule machines. You crouched down, and smiled faintly to yourself. Abandoned in the furthest reach of the shopping mall, almost near to where a service entrance lead to another stretch of winding halls and tunnels, the items here were both ancient (by city standards) and ridiculous.
Packages of candy that still held their shine but were likely far past their expiration date sat beside tiny figurines of a frog-shaped toddler in a little red hat. You grimaced back at those and moved on.
Near the end of the row was a machine that sold tiny musical instruments, plastic and paper and probably terrible sounding, but it wasn't expired food or frog children. You stuck a few coins into the slot and turned the dial.
An acid green ball spat out from the slot.
You picked at the latches on its side while you found your way further and further into the little used corridors.
There was a flash of something, like a burst of camera illumination from behind a door on your right.
You slipped through it, pulling your blade free from its sheath at the small of your back, and emerged into a tunnel that looked to be connecting to the nearby subway station. Not far ahead, the darkened path split into two.
You flipped the sword around so its blunt edge rested against your forearm and sprinted, dashing across the intersection.
A blur of motion came at you. As it grazed by, you snatched at that movement and sprang into the air, high enough to crouch on the ceiling of the tunnel.
The curse was a near perfect twin of the one a little ways down the way the attack had come, which should have maybe been your first hint. The one that had come at you was grinning, its face a rictus mockery of a theater mask.
They both sat, crouched like toads. You feinted toward the one that had come towards you, and at the last minute flew down to the other, its mouth bent in a painted looking frown.
It backed up in surprise, but not far enough and your blade nicked through the face, which was hard like dense wood. The air around your other hand shimmered in heat, as you struck for the thing's cavernous eyes.
It emitted a furious, scolding gurgle that almost reminded you of some of the window teachers from high school, and swallowed the burst of heat before it could crackled around it into full flame.
You hardly had time to reinforce your body with cursed energy before you were blasted from two directions, letting the momentum carry you and trying to wrap the more opposing forces and the roaring sound of displaced air into your own cursed energy. But something about it resisted you, and you were unable to absorb as much of the attack as you usually would.
A racking shiver radiated through your body right before you were caught by a broad hand on your back.
"Hi," Satoru said sweetly.
"Hi," you panted, automatic, eyes still fixed on the curse.
"What's going on?"
You looked up at him with incredulity.
Hoisted in his other arm was the limp body of your other companion.
Satoru's head cocked to the side, curious as he looked at the curse.
"I don't know yet. I hit it and then--" the mask of the frowning curse was ash blasted and the notch from your first strike still there, but it was not as damaged as expected.
You regained your footing and stood upright.
"If I give it another go I think I can figure it out."
He tilted his head.
You sized up the two curses waiting outside the reach of Satoru's infinity.
"Oh." You reached into your pocket and handed him the green orb.
"What's this?"
"Dunno," you said with a faint smile. "I got it for you."
"Aww, you shouldn't have."
Maybe not. Satoru thinks gachapon are funny, you should show him the line of machines if you get out of here the same way you come in, then he can choose something himself. You still have a few coins on you.
You flew at the grinning curse, both hands on the hilt of your blade, cursed energy flashing into a point a good six inches out from where the metal itself ended.
You held, crystalizing your own movement for a moment and stared deep into the thing's empty eyes.
It twitched, and then its arm moved and you slashed downward, intending to cleave the limb away.
The blade hit, you knew it did. You were able to dodge the attack you anticipated from the smiling curse. The frowning curse in front of you struck back, almost at the same time.
You pulled on some of the reserved momentum you'd held back in your initial strike and barely twisted out of the way.
You lifted the gleeful cackles of the twinned curses from the air and tried to twist them into a crackling rope of flame to surround the grinning one again. As you had expected, the damage did not seem to completely take and you were forced to duck when a bolt of heat tried to sear your back, culminating in another blast that shook the tunnel and thew you once more.
"That's enough."
Satoru appeared at your side again, pulling you back behind the shield of his power when the curse's retaliation threatened to cut through you.
"This one's a bad match for your technique," he murmured thoughtfully.
"Is it reflecting through the faces?" you asked, catching your breath.
He hummed.
Absently, you realized you could scent the sharp, fresh smell of citrus on his breath - the smell of the biting orange flavored candy you'd shared with him on the train ride here.
"If it reflects yours too--" you trailed off. What you did was firmly in the realm of the "real" and Satoru's abilities were not. If this curse were to reflect back blue, or red, or heaven forbid purple... well you'd never seen or asked up until if Satoru could stop his own techniques. It seemed a tactical oversight in this moment.
Satoru stepped forward.
"Stabilize him," he instructed flatly. He'd tossed Shibata Kin's still body where he had been standing barely a minute before.
The curses had moved closer and pressed together, beginning to meld into one another before your eyes. The damage you had already done was fading further.
You knelt at Shibata's side, shaking back your sleeves. "You know this is going to poison him."
You carefully set two fingers underneath his right collarbone, and three a few ribs below his heart on the left and focused in on the flickers of electricity that powered a human body.
"Oh well." Satoru's grin was a baring of teeth. "He'll get over it better than being dead."
You could sense the arrhythmic flutter of Kin's heart, like the popping scatter of an overloaded lamp, like a fractured version of that flash you had sensed earlier.
"You know he was trying to set you up right?" Satoru asked as he batted away an experimental chunk of rubble the curse tossed his way with a flick of his wrist. The stone was aimed right for the face of the smiling curse and even as it hit, it seemed to bounce back, hitting Satoru's shield and falling to the ground.
You sparked a bit of your energy to pure electricity, sending it jumping from one side of Shibata Kin's chest to the other.
"It crossed my mind," you admitted, murmuring as you concentrated. "But I didn't pursue the thought."
Satoru snorted. Yes, alright it was more likely you'd decided thinking about it too hard was going to distract you from the mission but you were here anyway.
You counted the pulse of electricity between your fingers to your own heartbeat until Kin's matched, or at least matched better than before.
When you pulled your hands away, Satoru cracked his knuckles. It looked like he was going to go in for physical attacks.
"You might need to manage the tunnel," he said.
Yet another reason this was a bad match up, not just for you but for him. Satoru did best in wide open spaces where he had room to move and didn't need to worry too much about collateral damage. Dropping a ton of rock on your heads and collapsing the buildings above sounded like a thing that could happen.
You had barely pressed your hands to the ground when Satoru was off like a shot.
The curse wasn't that strong - a high end second grade or low level first grade at best given that it wasn't itself attacking to provoke a response - but it split into those two halves of itself and reformed again as needed to minimize the impacts Satoru rained upon it or flank him.
Limitless lay against his skin between each strike so he remained unmarked, but the cavernous space still rocked with noise and dust shook from the gaps between tiles. You steadied it best you could, absorbing the oscillations and dampening the noise.
It did not take long for the frowning curse to realize what you were doing and send the smiling one racing for you. With one hand on the ground and one on your sword, brimming with unspent potential, you raised the point.
"Nah ah." This seemed at once to you and the monster charging your way. Satoru appeared in its path and bodily kicked it away.
It did not take long after for the twinned curses to be dispatched. Although the only reason you weren't holding your breath is because you were gritting your teeth with the effort of holding the ground together and trying not to shake apart yourself.
Satoru in motion, in a fight, particularly when physical constraint demanded more of his ingenuity, was always a sight to behold.
He came back to you looking unfairly dewy post exertion, with his hair in a sort of windswept disarray, the fabric around his shoulders bunched up. He shrugged out the wrinkles and dusted off his hands.
Your briefly pressed a hand to his knee after you steadied the last tremor from the ground.
"Thank you."
Satoru tapped his forefinger twice against your temple as he walked by. "A feedback loop between you and that thing would have been very messy."
You stood up, swaying slightly.
Even though Satoru would have happily dragged Shibata to the exit point, you insisted on tugging him upright and at least moving him through the air to a place where the three of you could safely rest and call a car.
You had settled him against a wall and were calling Akari when he finally stirred.
"What happened?" Shibata asked weakly.
You turned around to look at him and from Shibata Kin's tepid expression and the sound of shifting cloth behind you, you assumed Satoru must have copied your movement.
Still, you gave him a faint smile and couched down beside him. He didn't have the strength to move away as you grabbed his wrist and felt his pulse. It was thready, but he'd be good enough to get the rest of the way above ground until an actual doctor could take a look at hime.
"We're all alive," you explained unnecessarily.
Shibata Kin's eyes moved from your face to over your shoulder. Sweat beaded his brow and upper lip.
From behind you came a buzzing hum, somewhat approximating a sad tuba. Waa wa wa waaaaaaaa, it trailed off.
Satoru had a the wide end of a grape purple kazoo held between his teeth, his sunglasses already exchanged for the bandages he'd had wrapped around his eyes.
Only just in time, you ducked your face into your shoulder and hid a smile.
⬖ Pet rock
You were walking down some quiet residential street, trying to match the map to the trail of the curse you were tracking. It was not very intelligent, but it had a pernicious little ability to draw other curses to it under the banner of a powerful command. You'd been swatting third and fourth grades out of the air as you chased it, trying to wear down its arsenal.
It wasn't a terribly good strategy however and the thing had been winding its way through side streets to buy time. If you could get in closer, you could chop away at more of its train of screaming fears, maybe get a head start on the main peril. Thus the attempt at navigating and figuring out its destination so you could cut it off.
At least Hirano-san would be happy. Maybe. Culling curses required balance; they were their own little ecosystem. As long as the things aren't eating anyone, a certain amount of apex predators in an area could be a deterrent, like the old practice of putting powerful relics out like roach traps. Have the inevitable critters fight and eat one another rather than their human hosts.
A notification popped up over the map, and then another after it.
You felt your shoulders drop as you recentered yourself with a faint smile.
At your hotel later that night, you recalled that Satoru had sent you a message. You fell onto the bed, wrapped up in the hotel bathrobe.
It was... nice, knowing that someone was waiting at home for you. Or if not at home, he was still busy as ever, out there in the world somewhere, thinking of you. Weirdly normal.
The message was a picture. You blinked up at it. Two little rocks and a flower growing out of a crack in the pavement to shade over them.
>> ?
Almost immediately you saw three dots appear.
<< it's us!
Is it? you thought skeptically, looking at the picture again.
The dots again.
<< You don't think so :(?
Your phone was buzzing in your hand before you had even a moment to answer.
It startled you enough to drop the phone.
Owww
"You took so long to answer. This is photography, are you discouraging my new passion? It could go on a greeting card."
The word salad was meaningless and silly, weightless.
"I dropped you on my nose," you said, eyes closed as you rubbed the spot the corner of your case had hit.
"Were you that surprised by it?"
A pause.
"It's cute." The notion of it and the fact that he'd sent it to you was cute.
"It is cute right?" His voice was bright but not overly loud through the phone, for which you were grateful, already settling into warmth. "The flower is poisonous too."
You curled up on your side and held the phone close. Maybe he'd get lucky and you would find something cute to send back to him.
⬖ Puddle jumping
a/n: You have no idea how much googling I had to do to figure out what the prompt meant. I am not on the tick-tock app lol or, I've found, a fan of this meme... the implication that girlfriends ask useless questions as a rule seems sort of meh. So I mostly kept to my original response to this which was "i don't know what that is and honestly probably neither does alpha"
Satoru was herding you down the sidewalk, occasionally listing one way or the other to get you out of the way of other pedestrians. Sometimes he did it for the simple fascination of how you swayed along by him like you were on a tether. Even while you eyes were all but fixed skyward, you stayed roughly the same distance from him.
It was the first day of sun after days of rain and also one of the first days he had off with you in so many apart. He had been too restless the day before, back off a bad mission that had more to do with the desperate unpredictability of people than the intrinsic darkness of curses. You had not resisted him when he drew you out, stifled by the low clouds and humidity and longing for openness. Even with Infinity blocking the rain, it had felt like being closed in again.
Relieved of their burden, the clouds had gone from iron grey to diaphanous white and pealed up and away in swaths like billowing curtains. This is what you were watching - their retreat from the earth. They had come so low they wrapped around skyscrapers and telephone poles on their back to their usual place.
Satoru watched the drowned earth. You had cut through a tree lined walk. The rich soil was churned and muddy and the long bodies of worms that had been washed out or crawled up were strewn about.
Your and Satoru's steps made no mark as he stretched Infinity over and around the two of you. Neither of you tread upon those blind, waterlogged creatures.
Satoru stepped behind you to allow a cluster of high schoolers to pass and hid a faint wrinkle of his nose as they squealed and ran by, realizing they were stepping on some of the remains.
Your umbrella was folded and carried at your side, and you tilted your head back at him, looking a little sun-drunk. He smiled at you. He could see the reflection of the sky in your gaze.
He adopted a pout, snickering internally as you immediately seemed to regain some awareness and a wary anticipation entered your expression.
"Would you still like me if I was a worm?" he asked.
You blinked at him. "Is this one of those things you learned from the kids?"
He slouched a bit, crowding into your space. "Would you still love me if I was a worm," he wheedled.
"Are you turning into a worm?" you asked, slightly panicked, hand going to his arm as though to check if he was going as wet and floppy as the poor things on the ground.
"I'm going to turn into one if you don't answer my question."
The last of the distracted fog lifted from your eyes as you shook yourself. You took his hand and pulled him close to let another couple pass you on the walk. They inclined their head in thanks.
There was no rush to get where you were going and you tugged him along a smaller path that cut under a row of thick-branched trees so you could walk side by side unimpeded.
"I still liked you when you were a semi-sentient six sided die," you pointed out, smiling slightly.
"It's not the same," he whined a bit, drawing out the words in a sing-song fashion.
"Isn't it? I'm not sure a die eight kilometers under the ocean is more useful than a worm."
"Hmph."
"Although I really hope the worm thing is hypothetical."
"Why?"
"Because with our luck that would mean I'm a worm too."
Satoru huffed a faint sound of amusement. "Nooo. You'd still be some kind of bird." He patted your back. "Don't worry I'll make sure to crawl out late so you can still be in time to eat me all up."
"... Are you propositioning me or telling me to hurry up?"
"Walk faster or I'll step on the backs of your shoes."
You did. The two of you walked faster and faster until you were all but chasing one another out of the park, laughing lightly as you dodged the spots of wet on the ground.
#ask answered#thanks for the little prompts#i started writing these when I felt a bit drained and it was nice to have some short things to work on#...I might have gone a little nuts with the banners whoops#also battle scenes always take forever to write it's good practice but ugh#that's why orange kazoo is so long#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#lots of cellphone use for these 21st century kids#jjk#omegaverse#but no mention of omega/alpha so it's like another implied omegaverse thing i'm bad at this#alpha!reader#got it in before midnight my time so still Wednesday!#from the notebook
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Obey Me! Lucifer with an abused teen MC.
Little notes: Haha, sorry that was a bit of a hiatus! I've been struggling with, well...life. You know how it is. But I'm back because I have fictional person brain rot. If you don't want to see anything besides my hero/villain stuff, feel free to blacklist the obey me tags.
Also, I'm kinda new to the obey me! fandom, so I'm sorry if the characters are a bit off. I won't be writing about some of them until I've learned more about them.
With that said, if you have any triggers, please check the tw tags before clicking below. This is about an MC who's been abused.
Lucifer
Lucifer found it a bit strange how quickly you took to him.
He makes you do your homework before class tomorrow? No complaints. He reminds you of bedtime (which you have because nobody's allowed to stay up later than Lucifer in the house of lamentation due to the fact that there may not be one left by morning)? "Okay, no problem! I can study TSL later." (Still trying to hang out with Levi, are you?) If anything, you seem grateful for his overbearing tendencies.
Really, with the chaos of his brothers, he's a little bit weirded out by how much trouble you don't cause. Maybe you're just scared of the demons?
Yeah, that has to be it. Works for him.
Except...it doesn't.
Not when he comes in screaming at Mammon for yet another failing grade and you start trembling, face pale and legs locked from your place on the couch, as if you don't quite know whether to freeze or run.
Dammit, he needs to take care of this lest the angels see you as a hostage and another celestial war is started. Besides, Diavolo doesn't want the human exchange student terrified, he's trying to foster relations.
So, for once, Lucifer forgoes stringing Mammon up from the ceiling, much to everyone's surprise (and your and his shared relief) and instead stalks off to his office to calm down with his favorite cursed records.
Later that night, when he's sending everyone to bed, he saves you for last. "MC, please follow me to my office."
His tone is gentle, reassuring even, but you know better than to mistake it for a request. Your mind races as you follow him on shaky legs. What have you done now? Idiot!
When you reach his office, Lucifer gestures for you to sit in the armchair across from his desk. It's surprisingly comfortable as you sink into it, but you can't help feeling like you're being swallowed up. Is he going to eat you?
As he sits in the chair across from you, it doesn't seem like it. Yet.
"How are you adjusting to life in The Devildom?"
You can't figure out his game here. His face reveals little, but you get the sense that he's asking a question without asking it.
"I'm adjusting," you say simply, expecting him to drop it at that. You're just a mortal, after all.
"I asked how you are adjusting," he counters. "It must be a big shift for you."
Really, it must be, he had realized earlier in the confines of his office—he and his brothers struggled enough after the fall, but you, in your human ways, had not even realized the existence of magic or god before coming here, and now you're surrounded by demons? Not to mention that you're still a child. Lucifer doesn't like to curse, usually finding such foul language beneath him, but he doesn't know what to call it other than a mindfuck.
The Avatar of Pride's efforts to push away the tinge of guilt that accompanied said realization have been in vain. He and his brothers haven't exactly been nice to you, have they?
He's long decided to help you adjust, if only to get rid of this stubborn and unbecoming guilt, but he can't exactly do that if you won't tell him what's wrong and you're just staring at him like a gaping fish, so he doubles down. "Are you experiencing any difficulties, MC?"
Fuck, fuck, fuck—if your mind was racing before, it's moving so quickly now that it's burning into ashes that, somehow, through the magic you've just learned exists, are blown away by the wind to spell those three words.
"MC?" Lucifer repeats your name, eyes widening in that half a millimeter of concern Diavolo talks about (referencing that one chat, I forget the actual measurement and I know his eyes technically widened in surprise, but give me a break) . Is this a human thing? No demons he knows of are this...weak. It's an active effort for him to restrain his judgement as he raises his eyebrows at you which, finally, seems to prompt a response.
"P-please, I'm sorry, I'll do better! I'm sorry for whatever I did. I w-won't do it again, don't eat me!"
Well...
Suddenly he feels like an ass for judging you. Just what ideas has Mammon been putting into your head? You look like you've seen your own ghost. And again, he reminds himself, you are a weak and defenseless human child in a world of demons.
"Nobody, not even Beel, is going to eat you. As our human exchange student, I won't allow you to die before the year closes," he says, lips pulling into a frown, studying you more intently now and watching the way you squirm as he looks at you, back ramrod straight against the armchair. What is going on with you? "Why do you believe that I would eat you?"
"I, uh..." Okay, so you don't think he'll eat you, but it's never good when an adult looks at you like that. "I don't know, you seemed upset earlier and now I've been called in here, so I thought I might have screwed up somehow—not, like, arson or anything, but I thought...I thought you'd find something."
"You thought I'd find something?" Lucifer stresses the word.
"...Yes?" you say with all the hesitance of someone on death row confessing to a crime. You swear you see Lucifer's eye twitch for just a split second.
Meanwhile, Lucifer's got it. At first, he didn't really pay all that much mind when Diavolo mentioned that you come from "troubled circumstances", mostly hoping that you wouldn't be just as troubled and therefore troubling yourself, but he's starting to see that you are—just in a different way than the others.
Of course, he doesn't outright mention or address the clues he's just put together—The Avatar of Pride can tell better than anyone that you're hiding your past as well as you can, which is, admittedly, not well, but he's been persuaded to humor you.
"I am not a sadist." Okay, he is, but it's better that you not know that. He continues, "I am not looking to find something to punish you for and, while there are some things I would kill you for such as threatening my brothers, Diavolo, or the Devildom, I have no intentions of causing you harm under regular circumstances. You may get an F on your math test without fearing me or any punishment I would give you, MC."
You blink as you process the words, a little bit of the fear edging out of your body. "I can?" Your voice is tentatively hopeful.
"You can," Lucifer reaffirms, shuffling his paperwork around, if only for your benefit, as tears begin to brim in your eyes. He allows you to save face. "Go to bed. You're welcome in my office if you ever need to talk."
"Thank you," you mumble to him as you hurry from the room. You don't know what this means, but you know you're not dead and that's good enough.
The next morning, Lucifer's brothers are woken up earlier and met with a stern talk about being kind to you, accompanied by the reminder that you are a child even by human standards who is adjusting to life in literal hell and the threat of them having to adjust to hell a second time over (a punishment—Lucifer's punishment is the second hell). "We're building relations with the exchange student for Diavolo," he justifies explains.
His brothers aren't terribly thrilled with the idea of cozying up to a human, but they agree because they remember how hard the fall was for them.
Asmodeus, being the most familiar and cool with humans due to his pact with Solomon and finding your fearful, doe-like nature adorable, offers to take you out clubbing—to which Lucifer reminds him of the child thing.
Fine, fine, no clubbing. He'll pamper you instead, you certainly have enough split ends to suggest you could use a haircut.
From then on out, a new rule is established where each of the brothers, Lucifer included, have to spend time with you every so often with one or more brothers spending time with you each day of the week.
Needless to say, you're confused by the sudden kindness but you soon don't mind it, finding yourself slowly warming up to them—and, much to the shock of your ruined self-esteem, they to you.
Lucifer is pleasantly surprised and secretly grateful to find that his brothers get into less trouble with you around and, eventually, even more pleasantly surprised to find that you seem almost normal around them. You no longer eat in silence at the dinner table, refuse to meet their eyes, or cower like a puppy used to getting kicked when they raise their voices at each other (everyone has learned not to raise their voice at you, even Satan).
It's not long before Lucifer is calling you his best behaved child sibling. He even goes so far as to have everyone retake the family photo with you in it.
Is there any way he can turn you into a demon? He'd like you to be his child sibling for forever, and humans die far too quickly. As far as Lucifer's concerned, Satan has something new to research.
And it's not as though you don't seem to have some level of darkness in you. Just the other day you heard screams coming from the lower levels of Lord Diavolo's castle and followed them in spite of your fear, kind heart wanting to aid whoever was suffering.
According to Barbatos, you didn't even flinch when you found him torturing your parents, pliers still gripped around one of your dad's bloody fingernails.
Hell, you even asked to join in! (How Barbatos responded to that, I'll let you all imagine lol)
Also, Lucifer will never admit it, but he's quite possibly never felt more pride than the time you, Satan, and Belphie pranked him with a whoopie cushion on his desk chair. Normally he would have beat his brothers with it, but he could tell from the less than ideal invisibility cloak over the object that you were involved and hid a smile from prying eyes as he sat on what felt like his throne despite the ensuing fart noises.
And that's how his family of seven became eight once again.
#obey me#obey me lucifer#obm#writing#drabble#I'm back#again#tw implied abuse#tw abuse#tw abused teen#tw low self-esteem#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#avatar of pride#mine#my-lovely-writing#tw implied neglect#tw torture#tw mentions of low self-esteem
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The Unknown Journey Continues
Part 1
I know it's been a while... but I've been going down a rabbit hole with @starlight-samurai regarding time loops, Jenova, Minerva, and more fun. So I figured I'd try to put it into one post to get the insanity out of my head. Everything in here is based on things we've found by either going through more obscure Ultimanias, learning more about Dirge of Cerberus and trying to decipher what the hell Jenova is by putting together various sources - including other Square Enix games - and how they handled freakishly similar scenarios.
Did you know there is a companion mobile game for it that was out on the good old flip phones? Did you know there was an online mode in Dirge of Cerberus only available in Japan, but had story elements that were not in the main game?
The sad part is, there's still so much to go through...
(I've also had various discussions with @ourfinalheaven, Manu, who doesn't have Tumblr, so here is her Twitter. and Somebody's Nightmare (here is her Twitter). So I wanted to tag them here, as it's much more fun to discuss these ideas as a group, since it'll only help you build on and strengthen your own ideas.)
Please be aware, there will be Spoilers for FFVII - Almost all Compilation titles, Xenogears, and NieR Automata throughout this.
So let's go on a journey where we explore what actually already exists in the compilation - including the idea of the whispers and timeloops - how Minerva may play into everything, and what exactly Jenova is capable of doing.
I asked Sesi if he'd ever played any of the NieR games, because he'd said something that made me wonder if they were going to take a similar approach. As a very, very quick high level summary: NieR Automata deals with a time loop type of idea. The androids will be rebooted and repeat the same things over and over again. This is broken when 2B is killed by A2 because she becomes infected with a virus. That being said, you have the option after Ending E to either erase all of your data and end the cycle OR you can try again. The Pods have a discussion, and one asks, "But won't they just do the same thing again?" and the other replies with "Maybe. But it could also be different this time."
Here's Sesi's message back to me when I asked him about this (cleaned up a bit since we were having a casual conversation over Discord):
Maybe I could just guess based comparatively on the Dirge storyline, because that was sort of SE's first flirtation with “robots and androids” since they’re all programmed and locked behind like task managers and shit that can shut them down. The story of the online mode for DoC that came out in Japan, we never got to see it, you’re basically an Android OC and you have to get to “the end of the level” and then essentially die, and a new one takes its place. This keeps happening until Weiss is essentially freed from being able to be task managed by the guys who are suppose to be able to control them and I know from tons of years with Square games that they’re verrrrry bad at differentiating their narratives they tend to just keep “ripping themselves off” so is it anything close to that?
Cuz if so I think I kinda know what you’re saying and yeah, I agree, I think with CC bringing in its poetic symbolism and LOVELESS, and DoC bringing back the cyclic nature of the lore, whispers, premonitions and future visions, proto-Materia and the perversion of this next cycle since the planet can no longer cleanse and protect itself and its will is weakening lesser and lesser to the point where it’s fate is “in a true sense of jeopardy This time essentially it’s all tied in together and sort of played as though it's a fated track; a cycle of events and something has hitched it, thus the whispers manifesting and Sephiroth's higher implied control over his destiny.
Of course, even all that is just their new red herring game, but it’s definitely a part of the lore they want to play with, in order to go back and reMAKE the OG with the comp inserted from inception. Also gut punch a lot.
Time Loops
I was somewhat surprised to find out that this concept is NOT new to FFVII's universe. It's discussed in Dirge of Cerberus... probably one of the least played and least understood of the compilation. (Trying to sell a third person shooter with terrible controls to a market of mostly people used to turn-based combat wasn't going to go well.)
On top of it, we didn't even get all of it, since online mode was never released outside of Japan, and the Dirge of Cerberus Lost Episode was on Amp'd Mobile and Verizon flip phones back in 2006. Were you around for the cell phones in 2006? I had the ones on the list, and how somebody could play a game on those blows my mind.
Square has a tendency to reuse themes from their other titles. Probably one of the most blatant is the similarities between Xenogears and Final Fantasy VII. They were both being developed at the same time and a lot of ideas that didn't make it into FFVII ended up in Xenogears.
NieR
So how does this work? In NieR (both Replicant and Automata), you play the same path multiple times. Each time, it's slightly different depending on what side quests you did your first and second playthrough, but there's also other subtle differences throughout the story. In Automata, you get to play as 2B your first playthrough and 9S for your second. They follow the same path, but you get it from his perspective the second time and it reveals a bit more of what is going on. However, even with some slight differences, the main plot points stay the same and the ending result it also the same.
Then on your third playthrough, you wake up in the Bunker, and you're getting ready to go on a new mission. This time, though, 2B is killed and shit hits the fan. Things get crazy, you play as a new character: A2. In the end, pretty much everyone "dies", but you can choose to "reboot" and try again. You also can say you are done and let them all rest and delete your save data (the game gives you the option for both Automata and Replicant, and with Replicant, it actually leads to a new ending).
The striking thing for me is... There are certain events that will always happen, no matter what.
Fixed Points in Time
It's been years since I've watched Doctor Who, but there was something that stuck with me, and that was the fixed points in time. You can read about all of them here, but here's the basics:
Now, of course Doctor Who goes into this with much more detail and it's a recurring theme. However, as you read through that page, you'll probably find many aspects that have been used in various JRPGs that you've played. And Doctor Who most likely pulled some of the idea from classic Science Fiction novels. Each story puts its own spin on it.
How does this relate to FFVII Remake? Well, when they say that the major plot points will stay the same, it reminds me of this. No matter what, Cloud must fall into the Sector 5 Church, the Sector 7 Plate must be dropped, Aerith and Zack both must die, and Meteor has to be summoned, to name a few. So, with a time loop, those things would still have to take place in order to prevent a complete collapse of reality (at least in how Doctor Who uses it).
Therefore, the Whispers are ensuring that the Will of the Planet is followed.
One of the major themes in FFVII is that of loss. People die and they do not come back. Yes, other FF games do allow this to happen (FFX, FFXIII, FFXV), but VII is not those games. It was written with that idea in mind, that once a person dies, they, just like in real life, are dead and cannot be brought back.
I've previously written that I think they'll make us believe we are able to change fate, but we will eventually be slammed with the reality that we can't. That is because the planet has determined that certain events are fixed points.
Xenogears
Xenogears takes a bit of a different approach to the loop idea. Instead of repeating the same time period over and over, it has the characters reincarnated, and the same outcome happens each time: Elly dies. However, each time it's different. After all, they're in various time periods, in some cases thousands of years apart.
In all of the lives of Fei (who will have a different name in each time period) and Elly (who is always Elly/Elhaym), Elly will end up dying trying to protect Fei and the others. In one life, she is a religious figure at a totally not Catholic church, in another she's the wife of a scientist who was working to create children from nanomachines due to mass infertility issues. But she is ALWAYS with Fei, even if his name changes.
In her Mother Elhaym time, this is when Lacan (Fei) finally snaps. Though he's not fully aware of his past lives, he becomes aware, the anger consumes him, and he becomes Grahf. Fei is then reborn into the time period you play the game in.
There's a lot to unpack with this, so I won't go into it. Grahf wants to destroy God (Deus) because he thinks if he does, then it'll stop the suffering (his suffering).
If you do want to read more about Grahf, you can do so here, but it probably won't make much sense unless you've played Xenogears up to that point... Since it's much later in the game that this is all explained.
Lacan's desire was to stop the cycle of Elly always sacrificing herself for his sake. Though Grahf is not a perfect existence - he's not fully "The Contact", he sacrifices himself in order to let Fei move forward, and hopefully stop the cycle, by destroying the Deus system. (Elly also tries to sacrifice herself here, but Fei goes after her and stops her.)
Now, some people may think I'm saying that Cloud or somebody is going to do this in order to save Aerith or Zack (or his village or mom), but in FFVII if they do the loop method, I don't think Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and the others are aware of it. Most likely, it's only 'Sephiroth' and Aerith who are aware of it.
How this Could Be used for Final Fantasy VII
I'm stressing could because there's so many different possibilities on how they use this (if they are using this), so please, don't take this as fact. This is based on speculation based on what we know.
A time loop is a great way to explain away the differences in the story that we've seen: Biggs being alive, Wedge living for longer than he should have, etc. Since these are not major plot changes, they can simply say that this time it'll be slightly different... but your fixed points (major plot points) will remain the same.
It's a way to pull in some of the more obscure themes from Dirge of Cerberus and also play with the LOVELESS lore.
It could all simply be a big red herring and it's really just a remake of OG, but with the compilation tied together nicely... since it works much better when it's combined and not in 50 different games, books, movies, etc.
I don't think it's a "sequel" per say, not in the way I generally perceive a sequel. It's more of a loop of the same thing. The question is, when is the loop started and what will cause it to end? When will the planet (if it even is the planet) determine that it's good enough to begin moving forward?
JENOVA, Sephiroth, Genesis, and Minerva - Oh My!
Let's be real... Genesis isn't exactly the most popular character in the FFVII Compilation... but what if they make him one of the most important to the story? //Ducks as various fruits and vegetable are thrown in my direction//
I think what Genesis is probably most known for is his love of LOVELESS. He has the entire thing memorized and randomly says lines from it throughout Crisis Core. LOVELESS lore is still something I'm trying to grasp, so I am not going to comment much on it. Once I understand it more, I'll update this.
...And then this happens. The secret ending for Dirge of Cerberus, where Genesis picks up Weiss. Weiss, who has now been introduced along with Nero in FFVII INTERmission and is an optional ridiculously hard boss in the Shinra battle simulator in chapter 17 of the main story. There is some lore associated with the battle sim - so if you don't plan on beating it or you just can't, you can look up the pre-battle and post-battle cut scenes on YouTube. They're very short, but interesting. (I beat this asshole last night - it's a hell of a fight.)
....To Be Continued because apparently Tumblr won't allow more than 10 images per post now.... Next will be more on JENOVA and Sephiroth along with Minerva.
#ffvii#ffvii genesis#ff7 genesis#ff7 intergrade#ff7 intermission spoilers#FFVII intermission spoilers#FFVII Intermission#Final Fantasy VII#Dirge of Cerberus#FFVII Weiss#Xenogears#nier automata#final fantasy vii#ff7r#final fantasy 7#timey wimey
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I Wish You Would
Loki x Reader
1989, chapter 7
"He drove past her street each night"
Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark Tower- and that's where our story begins.
Word count: 2,896
Warnings: angst, alcohol, poison, only a pinch of fluff. Not in that particular order.
A/N: this one has more Loki than the last. And... I'm sorry. Also, the timeline is important from the last chapter and forward, so keep it in your mind.
A/N2: @chrissquares made me these awesome dividers! And dear @nacho-bucky beta read this for me!
No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.
Series masterlist
Song on Spotify and YouTube
"We won't be able to control the dwarves for long, we need to calm them down soon or they will attack."
"Your Highness, we need a plan of attack to keep them from breaching through their borders, some shield spell or-" A different councilman piped up.
"No, what we need is to keep peace. We need a negotiator to help maintain order. No more endless war, we can solve it without offence." The Allfather looked at his counsel until his eyes fell on his son who sat quietly throughout the whole meeting. "Loki, I want you to go and calm the situation down, solve it peacefully."
Loki looked up at his father, his stern gaze left no place to argue.
"Yes father." Loki got up after that, getting ready for the long day ahead of him. But before he could go his father's voice stopped him.
"I expect that when you'll be back you will make arrangements to make up with Lady Iyllir for your past behaviour."
"My first priority now is with the negotiation I need to handle." With a thin smile Loki walked away from his father, now with newfound determination to leave Asgard soon.
He stayed there longer than he wanted to. Apparently their species didn't sleep as often as Asgardians do. When he finally got back to the palace, he teleported right into his room and got in bed; he was never more grateful for his powers than now. Through all of his tiredness though, the moment his head hit the pillow you plagued his mind and sleep faded away from him as you pulled him closer into your dangerous clutches.
He felt as if he was the same heartbroken guy he was before everything happened. She took over his dreams after he let her go, and if he was being honest he let her. He'd imagine her next to him, holding his shattered heart together just enough for him to be able to go to sleep, keeping it as close together as she could until the morning came and she was no longer there and the pieces were all scrambled again. He woke up and remembered that you weren't next to him, and no matter how much he'll conjure her up he knew she won't be you. A face identical to yours still doesn't feel like you.
You were so much more than just a figure to him, he could conjure her up and she would be just like you with the same smile and eyes but beyond that she was nothing but empty. She wasn't you because you had a soul that he could feel just by being close to you, and you had emotions behind those brilliant eyes and sincerity behind the smile. You were so much more than a trick of the eye.
He couldn't even touch her.
Last time, after he left you he was ruined, knowing that he had no way to undo what he did- he had no way back, especially after the fall. But now he knew that even if he would go back and knock on your door- you won't let him in. He knew he would only shatter the peace you could have had if he hadn't barged into your life and wrecked you all over again. He was a selfish man but you wouldn't let him in your door again. Loki wasn't dumb by any means, he knew that you meant what you said and he couldn't blame you.
Sleep decided to claim him, but he could only hope you won't be there too haunting his dreams.
"Are you sure this is wise?" Loki voiced out his doubts as you picked your head out of the blanket fort the two of you spent the afternoon making only to shake your head at him.
"Yes, it is like the best thing ever," were mortals so destructive that they enjoyed lacking their needed sleep time? He was certain midgardians needed more sleep than him and it was rather crucial for them. "I cannot believe you've never had a movie marathon!"
"I don't see the point of sitting in front of your screen for many hours without any break, we could just as easily watch one and on another occasion the other. Why the rush to do things we can just do another time?"
"Time is short, and you have to live in the moment. There is nothing wrong with spending just one day as if you're running out of time with someone, actually that is something endearing in a way." He watched as you got lost in thought before your eyes focused on his again and he knew you won't let him deny this. So the god of mischief entered the warm steady fort you created, well it wasn't actually that steady but you didn't need to know the little magic he used on it.
He had to admit that the little nest the two of you built was quite charming, it was odd how such a delicate thing could give one the feeling of safety.
"Come on we are starting the first movie!"
"You still haven't told me, who is this Potter?" he picked up the disc and examined its packaging.
"I love it when you say that with your accent! And he is a wizard!" you giggled at him and put a bowl of popcorn in between the two of you as the movie started playing.
"Are you trying to tell me that this guy is doing magic?" It was preposterous to know that this is how humans perceive magic. He wished he could show you what real magic is like, maybe one day he will.
"I know! it's amazing! I love Sci-fi so much." The movie kept playing on with him making snarky comments at the characters and with you giggling and defending the movie.
The movies went on one after the other and he might have gotten emotional over some scenes, not that he showed it of course.
It was in the fifth movie that he felt a soft weight on his shoulder and when he looked to the side he saw you laying your head on him with your eyes closed. At this point the snacks were pushed aside and you had gotten closer to him and now you fell asleep on him, your bodies touching and he doesn't know why but he held his breath then. You let yourself to be in such a vulnerable state with him, in this makeshift fort, and his body reacted to it more than it should have. With each loud fast beat of his heart realization fell upon him. He didn't know what it was just yet, but he understood it.
It was odd, the feeling he got, he had never been this enchanted with someone before- let alone a human. You seemed to have some sort of effect on him that he couldn't shake off even when you weren't around him. You caused these blooming feelings to erupt inside of him and it was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. And all you did was fall asleep with your head on his shoulder. The god of mischief was falling in love.
•
It was 1am and you might have just stolen Tony's car alongside some expensive bottles he had locked away.
You just had to get out of there, the thoughts got too loud and the dreams got more vivid, so you knew exactly where you needed to go to get your mind straight and maybe drink some wine.
No one knew about the apartment that you kept even after moving into the Tower. The only other person that knew about it was Tony, who bought it and kept it there just for you, clear of annoying neighbours in a silent neighborhood.
Getting into the apartment you shivered at the cold, so you turned on the AC and popped open the first bottle of wine.
So you sat there with the bitter sweet wine scenting the room. So far you had no luck of forgetting the young prince, his taste and smell easily overpowered the alcohol if you focused on them strongly enough.
You almost did.
But with each sip you got sent back into a kaleidoscope of memories. Headlights pass the window pane and sent you aware to a far memory.
"Why are you dressed up like that?" Loki raised an eyebrow at you when he took a sit at the dining room table and you put a drink in front of him. He grew quite fond of midgardian drinks, they were much better than mead. You closed the window and the curtain, the bright light outside was blinding you. It was too early in the morning for that.
"Like what?" you stretched your arms and hem of your night shirt went up a bit and revealed skin that Loki tried not to look at.
"Still in your sleep wear."
"It's morning and I'm not going anywhere." You shrugged him off and sat down in front of him.
"Are you not going to change because I'm here?" he kept his eyes on your face.
"No, I'm comfortable." You shrugged him off again and began to eat your toast. Your answer however lingered in the back of your head.
"Alright," he answered and took a sip. "I'm just saying that it's not fitting for a lady to be dressed like this."
He knew how much you hated being called that. His smirk was hidden by his cup of coffee.
"You son of a bitch… don't call me that."
"Not call you what, my lady?" you pointed your fork at him and he couldn't help but think how adorable you look like this.
"Call me Lady one more time and I'll show you exactly how not lady-like I am."
"Okay, fine!" he watched as you brought your cup to your lips only to realize that you drank all of your tea. "Come on, I'll make you another cup of tea as an apology."
You let him take your empty cup with a satisfied smile. When he was in the kitchen you wandered to the question he asked and the immediate answer that you gave him. It took you a second to get out of your thoughts when you realized something.
"Oh wait Loki you don't know how I make my-" you got up to the kitchen only to open the door right to Loki who just gave you the tea he just made. He moved past you and sat at the table.
You hesitantly took a sip, only to sigh in content- it was perfect.
"You know how I like my tea." It was a statement but you were still fazed by that fact as you sat down. His reply was short.
"Well of course I do."
It was odd how such a simple thing as that could make your heart flutter with a feeling that you haven't felt in a long while but you knew exactly what it was.
•
Three months ago in Asgard.
Asgard looked beautiful in the morning. Loki stood in his room next to his window which overlooked the garden. His mind wasn't in Asgard though, and he had a decision to make, one that was waiting for him the moment he steps out of that door.
He knew that it's been almost a month since he left you and you told him to never come back. He had to find a way to move on even if he couldn't. He'd call it a coincidence if it weren't just unfortunate luck.
He was well aware of his options and the fact that there were none, and while he'd rather perish in his own misery a part of him still knew that he would have to take the other choice.
You'd never take him back, not after what happened when the two of you were well aware that the heartbreak would come, not now that you knew who he is.
Without letting himself think any further Loki went out of his room and descended a floor down until he stood outside of the large doors. He gently knocked on them. Who knew, maybe this will someday give him some twisted peace?
The door opened and there she stood in a flowery gown, Lady Iyllir.
"My lady, I've come here to apologize for my past behaviour. I would very much like it if we could resume the plan for our marriage."
•
You threw one bottle of wine aside, it was 2am but you couldn't even drink, you couldn't do anything. You just wished that he would come back and be here. He could always read your mind even when he assured you that he wasn't actually reading your mind.
"Please Loki, I miss you too much to be mad anymore, just come back."
You knew deep inside you that you'll never be clean of him; you'll never forget him for as long as you'll live. If you could, you'd rush all the way to Asgard for him, throwing away your stupid pride.
Maybe he will knock on the door, maybe he is on his way. You humored yourself but the hope was still there.
Yes you told him to leave but what you really wanted was for him to be there on the other side of the door screaming "I'm in love with you" or maybe he'll wait there in the pouring rain and throw pebbles at your window.
How did the god of lies not see it? Why couldn't he see that when you told him to leave you wanted him to chase after you and fight for you?
"I need you Loki, I do."
Then there was a knock on your door, you were sure you imagined it. But it was real and a smile took over your face when you went towards the door. He heard you.
Everything you needed was right there on the other side of the door, with his face and his beautiful blue eyes, and even with the conversations with the little white lies.
You rushed to open the door after he knocked on it again.
But he didn't have his blue eyes.
"Mike?" you really thought that Loki would show up for you. Your smile fell.
"You seemed off today darling," he walked past you into the living room. "I thought you might want some company."
In your state of disappointment you shook yourself out of it and closed the door. You had a boyfriend, you didn't have Loki. You won't have Loki.
"Oh, thank you. That is very thoughtful of you." He put some bags of food and drinks on the counter and came back to you. He wrapped you up in a hug. He may not be Loki, but you needed a hug right now so you held onto him.
"I know that as an Avenger it must be rough, with the missions and the constant danger," he brought you to sit on the couch with him. "I understand that it could get hard, but I'm proud of you for doing that and I want you to know that I am here for you."
He was saying everything you needed to hear, and so you nodded into his chest. Loki was wild and crazy but here you have a guy who is steady and stable and your heart can't seem to listen to logic.
At least he's here.
"I'll get us something to drink and then we can talk about it if you want, okay?" you nodded at him again as he got up and went to the kitchen.
You straightened your shirt until he got back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
"Oh, I already have wine right there-" you looked back at the half bottle that was left and cringed.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll like this one. Plus this one is brand new." He tried to joke but you wished he hadn't seen how much you drank already. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to drink more but you needed it.
You took the glass with the red liquid. Testing it, you shook it in the glass and sent the burning red liquid down your throat. It was pretty good, you had to admit. It had an unusual taste to it that you couldn't quite figure out.
"It's from Europe." He smiled and you smiled back lightly.
You talked to him and didn't really care that you finished your glass of wine soon and he poured you another one.
The alcohol must have started to get to you, you felt a little spacey, the smell of the alcohol made you feel weird.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he laughed at you a bit and put his glass on the table.
"I asked you if you're okay, do you feel better now?" it was starting to get a bit hot in the room, you forgot to turn off the AC, you looked around for the remote.
"Yeah I'm just- didn't you drink from your wine?" you looked at the full glass on the table. Your head was starting to hurt and you picked up the glass, the weird smell came back to you and the world felt blurry around you.
"No, I'm afraid I am not here to drink."
•
Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14
#loki#loki x reader#my writing#i wish you would#1989#1989 taylor's version#1989 loki's version#loki odinson x reader#loki odinson#loki fluff#loki angst#loki series#loki show#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki x female reader#loki imagine#loki laufeyson#marvel#taylor swift
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If you still have the square open, fingore for Tarlos? I looked it up and the definition made me all cringy lol because I am a giant wuss, so I was thinking maybe threat of fingore (or actual fingore if you want to go for it because you are clearly made of cooler and tougher stuff than me ;) ), something with Carlos hostage on a case and the bad guys want him to give up some information? Or Carlos is protecting TK somehow and won't tell them where he is?
holly's august extravaganza day 8: we'll hold each other soon
unfortunately the square had already been taken when this came through but i hope you like what i came up with! thanks for the prompt! tied into chapters five and eleven from the breeze in my austin nights
ao3 | 2.1k | angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, torture, carlos briefly thinks tk is dead but he's not
Carlos had known this would happen. He’s known for weeks; he’s felt the suspicion in the gang growing, sensed his cover crumbling bit by bit. It’s been especially bad since his run-in with Paul and Marjan, but that was really just the final straw.
Things with this mission have been going sideways for a long time. He’d reported it to his supervisors, of course he had, but all they’d said was that the case was too important to give up just because of one man’s feeling.
He wishes he could take satisfaction in being proved right.
Unfortunately, him being right means nothing to his supervisors. For Carlos, it means getting dragged out of his temporary apartment in the early hours of the morning and taken, blindfolded and gagged, to a remote corner of town, probably unknown to everyone outside of the gang.
Carlos doesn’t struggle as he’s shoved into a chair and chained by the feet, his hands and torso bound to the wood with a rough rope that rubs his skin painfully. By the low mutters and footsteps echoing around the room, it’s clear there’s more than just one or two of the gang holding him, so he figures that fighting will only make things worse for him.
Once he’s sufficiently tied up, the blindfold is yanked from his eyes and the gag removed. Carlos gratefully sucks in a few deep breaths, blinking hard as his vision adjusts to the harsh fluorescent lighting in the room. There are six men surrounding him and Carlos recognises one as the gang leader, Manese. Another, Daniels, is holding a crowbar, and all of them are armed with at least one gun, probably more.
Carlos, meanwhile, is lucky he’s wearing socks.
Thank god for draughty apartments.
Manese steps forward, his hard stare betraying little emotion. “I’m gonna cut the bullshit, Reyes,” he says. “We know who you are, we know you’ve been passing information to other cops, and we know you’re probably not doing it alone.
“So, you’ve got two choices. Either you make it easy for us and we’ll make it easy for you—I’d say I’d let you live, but you and I both know I can’t do that. But I will leave a body to bury. Or, you make it difficult and we’ll return the favour. And, believe me, we can make things very, very difficult for you.” He grins and spreads his hands out, tipping them in a mimic of a set of scales. “This only ends one way for you, Reyes. All you gotta do is decide how fast you want to get there.”
The look Manese sends him lets Carlos know that he already knows exactly what decision he’s going to make, and that he’s going to enjoy it. Carlos sighs and closes his eyes, briefly hanging his head. He spares a thought for his family back in Austin—his parents, TK—and prays that, whatever happens, they’ll at least be able to get some closure.
Then, he steels himself and looks Manese dead in the eyes. “Do what you want. I’m not telling you anything.”
Manese’s grin takes on a shark-like quality, and Carlos has to force himself not to react to the way he leers at him. “Excellent choice.” He flicks his hand and Daniels steps forward, a manic look in his eye as he flexes his grip around the crowbar.
Carlos barely has a moment to prepare himself before all he knows is pain.
*
He screams as the crowbar comes down for what feels like the hundredth time, eliciting a sickening crack as his arm breaks. Carlos’s vision white out and he folds in on himself as much as he can, his left arm straining to cradle his right, but all he achieves is the already abused skin becoming more raw and sore. He breathes heavily, blinking rapidly as the room slowly swims into view once more. Daniels looks bored, the crowbar swinging loosely in his grasp, and Manese seems to be running out of patience.
“Got your memory back yet, Reyes?” he asks tersely.
Carlos just shakes his head and braces himself for the next hit.
Which doesn’t come.
And doesn’t come.
And doesn’t come.
Carlos squints up at them, frowning when he sees Manese with a hand on Daniels’ arm as he studies him closely. The calculating glint in his eye sends a flash of dread through Carlos; nothing good can possibly come of this.
“Go for his fingers next,” he orders after a while, releasing Daniels. “I don’t care how—break them, shoot them, crush them, whatever—just get me answers.” He turns to Carlos and tuts, sighing heavily in mock regret. “This is your own fault, Reyes. All this can be over like that”—he snaps his fingers—“if you just give me what I want. A couple names, a location or two, that’s all I’m asking. Not much, right?”
Carlos stubbornly stays silent—at this point, he’s not sure he has enough breath left to speak even if he wanted to—and Manese sighs again.
“Your funeral.” He shrugs and steps back to give Daniels room, but before anything can happen, one of the others in the room rushes forward to whisper something to Manese. Carlos can’t hear what’s being said and he’s too exhausted to try; all he can feel is relief for the brief reprieve. His arm is screaming at him, the pain in the rest of his body paling in comparison, and he’s not sure how much longer he can stand it.
The hushed mutters continue for another minute, until eventually Manese nods sharply and four of the six men in the room file out. He smiles at Carlos, sickly sweet, and claps his hands together once, rubbing them for good measure. “Looks like it’s your lucky day, Reyes,” he says, with a lazy drawl that can’t mean anything good. “Business calls.”
Carlos doesn’t have time to comprehend what that means before Manese and Daniels are also leaving, flipping them lights off as they go.
And Carlos is left alone.
*
Time means nothing as Carlos waits for someone to return and finish what they started. The only thing he’s certain of is that something must have changed to get Manese to halt his torture, and it probably isn’t a very good something.
Not for Carlos, at least.
He thinks about trying to escape, but even slight movements are so painful that he fears he might throw up or pass out or, more likely, both. Besides, even if he did manage to get out of the bonds on his arms and torso, there would still be the chains on his feet to deal with, and Carlos knows there’s more of a chance of rescue than him dealing with those on his own, especially with a broken arm.
His mind is left to wander, and he keeps circling back to one point that seems to solidify itself more with each second that passes.
He’s not getting out of here.
A fresh wave of pain—not physical, this time—washes through him, and his whole chest aches as he thinks of TK. He’d been so worried for Carlos ever since they found out about the case, and he’d begged him to stay safe the morning he’d left just over three months ago.
“Be careful, please,” TK said, smoothing down the lapels of Carlos’s shirt. “Whatever happens out there, whatever you have to do, just promise me one thing. Promise you’ll come back to me.”
Carlos knew better than to promise something like that, and TK knew better than to ask it. But because it was him, and because it was TK, Carlos just nodded and leaned in to press a kiss to TK’s temple.
“I promise,” he whispered, pulling away. TK didn’t let him go far before dragging him into a real kiss. It felt like it lasted forever, only to seem far too short when they broke apart, still clinging to one another. Carlos allowed himself another minute in TK’s embrace, then forced himself to move away, giving his boyfriend one last smile.
TK returned it with a smile of his own, and Carlos carried it with him long after the door swung closed between them.
It’s the last good memory Carlos has, and he’s going to hold onto it for as long as he has left. If he’s going to die, then the last thing he wants to see is TK’s smile, even if it is just in his mind.
*
Carlos is nearly blinded when the lights suddenly turn back on, revealing Manese and two other gang members standing in front of him. He only vaguely recognises these two—it’s possible he could dredge up some names if he thought about it for long enough, but his attention is locked on Manese, who looks far too pleased with himself, in the same way a predator must look before it catches its prey.
“You’ve made it clear you’re not going to give us any names,” Manese says, “so now I’m going to give you one.” He steps closer and lowers his voice, grinning like he’s sharing a secret just for the two of them. “Tyler Kennedy Strand.”
Carlos’s blood runs cold at the sound of TK’s name.
TK’s full name.
“What—” but his ruined and dry throat refuses to cooperate. Instead, he levels a glare at Manese, and hopes that it’s enough to convey every single question and threat running through his mind right now.
If possible, Manese’s smile widens. “Recognise it do you?” he says lightly. “I thought you might. See, Carlos, we have people all over, not just in this shithole town, and once we knew who you were, it was child’s play to track down your nearest and dearest. And who is nearer and dearer than that pretty boy of yours?”
He steps back and snaps his fingers, holding his hand out. One of the others hands him a slip of paper, which Manese then presents to Carlos, dropping it carelessly in his lap. “Take a look.”
Curiosity getting the better of him, Carlos looks down at what he realises is a photograph. He can’t understand it at first, but slowly the details become clearer and more familiar, and—god.
“I’ll give him credit, he put up quite the fight,” Manese is saying, but he sounds like he’s shouting down a tunnel, the roaring in Carlos’s ears blocking out most other sounds. “It’s unfortunate that fists can’t stop a bullet.”
*
Everything stops making sense after that.
TK is dead.
TK is dead.
It makes no sense, so why should anything else? Carlos stares and stares at the photo, and keeps staring even after it’s snatched out of his lap, the image burned onto his retinas by now. He’s aware, distantly, of voices and sounds and sensations but they’re all muted, happening outside this bubble he’s created around himself.
He wishes they’d just get it over with.
*
Carlos blinks, and there’s someone new in front of him, someone unfamiliar who touches him gently and looks at him kindly.
He blinks and the scenery changes. He’s in a vehicle, staring up at a white ceiling, being taken...somewhere. He feels warm and the pain has dimmed, but he’s sinking again before he can put a thought to what that means.
He blinks and he’s in a bed, a woman standing in front of him and asking him questions. Carlos doesn’t really understand what’s going on, doesn’t know what could possibly be more important than the fact that TK is dead and it’s all his fault. He shakes his head at the woman and turns away.
He blinks, and TK is there.
And, when he blinks again, TK is still there.
And it’s—it’s impossible. He’s hallucinating or dreaming because TK is dead, and dead people don’t come back to life just because he might wish it.
So he tries, and he tries, and he tries to snap himself back to reality. But it doesn’t work, and TK is still in front of him, that crease between his brows growing with every second that passes. Carlos wants to reach out and smooth it away but he knows he can’t, and—
And, TK takes his hand and presses it to his chest.
Hallucinations don’t feel that solid.
They also don’t have a heartbeat.
This time, when TK doesn’t disappear, Carlos allows himself to believe.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” TK whispers in his ear, holding him close, warm and solid and alive. “I’m always going to be right here.”
#911 lone star#911 lone star fic#tarlos#tarlos fic#carlos reyes#tk strand#lone star#911ls#holly's august extravaganza#fanfiction#my fanfiction#writing#my writing#221bsunsettowers
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Still Learning Pt. Five
Summary: After having everything stolen from her, the reader meets Bucky and they form a relationship, that works for the both of them. She needs money and he needs the company. There are rules that need to be followed. What will happen when the rules are broken?
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Cursing, drinking, hinting at sex
A/N: The long awaited part five. Sorry these parts are so far apart, life just doesn't give me time to sit and write anymore.
Catch up here
"Let me see if I understand this one." Y/N says, holding the papers in her hands to read what was written. "I get a weekly allowance of $2,000 and an extra $1,000 when you need me to go with you to events and stuff?"
"Yep. All yours."
"For how long?"
"Until we call it quits."
"Either of us can do that?"
"Yeah. If you found something that better suits you and you want this to end, then we can be done. For me, I'll only end things if you break any of the rules we discussed. Those are my limits. They're not there for fun, they're meant to keep this relationship working without any interference from our lives outside of it." Bucky explains.
Y/N nods, "Okay. Is there anything else that I need to know before we make this official?"
"Just a couple things on the next page."
She turns the page and skims the words. "What's this?" Y/N asks.
"I know your car was stolen. so, I want you to go pick out a few to test drive and let me know which one you want."
"You want to give me a car?!"
"I need you to be able to meet me at a moments notice and you can't do that, if you don't have your own transportation."
"I can just take the subway or the bus."
"They're unpredictable. A car is also safer. You know that I work with the military. I have made enemies. I can take care of myself, but I need you safe."
"Enemies? What kind of enemies, Bucky?"
He gives her a confused look. "You really have no idea who I am?"
It's Y/N's turn to look confused. "What are you talking about? Am I supposed to?"
"I'm surprised you don't." He leans back, removing his glove from his left hand and taking off his leather jacket. His short sleeves revealing the metal arm that the world has come to know. "I'm Bucky Barnes."
Y/N's eyes flicker to the black and gold arm, following its lines down to his fingers, analyzing. He sees the moment that she begins to understand everything. "You're the Winter Soldier?" She asks slowly. "The same Winter Soldier that was deemed a war criminal?"
"Ex-war criminal." He corrects. She gives him a deadpan look. "Sorry. Listen, any crimes that I committed were forgiven when Zemo got locked up. I've worked hard to clear my name and not the world fear me. I've got a lot of people that helped me, but I still have a lot of people who want me dead of locked away."
"Then how do you expect to keep me safe?" Y/N asks.
"By giving you security. A safe car. A safe home."
"I have a home."
"I can give you a safer home."
"You planning on locking me away in a tower somewhere?"
Bucky chuckles, "Not exactly. Just some place with better security."
"But what if I don't want to leave my apartment behind?"
"We can always get it back, if you don't like the new place. I'll just have to ensure it's safe before you move in."
Y/N sighs. "I don't know how I feel about this."
Bucky reaches his flesh hand across the table, opening it with his palm facing upwards, waiting for Y/N to take it. She looks at it for a beat, before sliding her own hand into it. He closes his fingers around her hand, feeling her soft skin.
"I promise that if we do this, nothing will happen to you. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."
"But what if you can't?"
"I will. You will always be protected." He swears.
You can feel your heart racing beneath your ribs. You were ready to say yes to Bucky. You still wanted to say yes to him, but how could you? He told you who he was and how you could possibly be in danger. Even though he swears that you'll be safe, you know he won't be around most of the time.
You look down at your hand in his, watching, feeling his thumb brush over the back of it. You glance up at his face. His blue eyes staring back at you. Watching you, hopeful.
"I want to do this, but I need to be sure you'll keep me safe."
"You have my word. I will keep you a secret from the rest of the world, just to make sure nothing happens to you."
"you don't have to keep me a secret from everyone. If we do this, I want to know those closest to you." You give him a small smile.
He grins back. "You're gonna regret that as soon as you meet Sam."
You laugh. "He can't be that bad."
"Just you wait." He chuckles with you. "He's a pain in my ass."
"Those are the best kind of friends though."
"Yeah I guess. Speaking of friends." Bucky mentions, his smile soft. "Are you gonna tell yours about this?"
"Most likely. They won't judge. If anything, they'll be jealous and make sure this is what I want. They've offered to help me out, but I wouldn't let them."
"Those are good friends to have though." He tells you, rephrasing your words and handing them back to you.
You nod and look down at the papers on the table between you both. You let go of his hand and reach for the pen that the waitress left for Bucky to use. You flip to the last page, seeing his signature already on one of the lines. Before you have a chance to second guess this idea, you quickly sign the other ling, scribbling you name across it.
"What do you mean? You're moving out of your apartment? You're getting a new car? Just last week you were wondering how you were going to pay your bills, refusing to let Lexie and I help you, and now all of a sudden everything is fine." Deanna asks, handing you a beer as she sits next to you on her couch.
"I figured it out." You answer vaguely, taking a sip from the bottle.
"And? I need details." she demands. "Are you becoming a stripper?"
"God, no!"
"Working a corner?"
"Dee!"
"Hey! I'm not judging. I just want to know where the money is coming from."
You put the beer bottle to your lips and chug half of the golden liquid inside, needing the courage to explain everything to your best friend. "Remember that guy I met at the bar the other night?"
"You mean the tall, dark, and completely your type?"
You laugh, because she was right. "Well-"
"Did he hire you? Are you gonna be his assistant and have to work long hours. Have to stay late after everyone has gone home, to help him with his work?" She asks teasingly, her eyebrows waggling.
"Well, I won't be his assistant, but I guess technically I do work for him."
"What do you mean 'technically'?" You give her a moment to think about it. The second it clicks in her brain you can tell that she wants to dance around like Channing Tatum in 22 Jump Street. "Oh shit! Are you-? You mean he's a-?"
"Sugar daddy? Yeah."
"And you agreed to it?"
"He was very convincing."
"I'm sure he was, you little sinner?"
"Nothing happened and he assured me that nothing would unless I wanted it to." You explain.
"So, then what's he paying you for?" Deanna asks, smirking
"He likes to call it paid companionship. He needs someone to attend events with him and to have someone to be himself with. The world sees him as some kind of monster and I don't. I didn't even realize who he was until he told me." You watch as her brows pull together as she takes a sip of her own beer. "He's the Winter Soldier, Dee."
She sucks in a breath, thus inhaling the liquid she poured into her mouth. She begins coughing, choking on the fluids. You clap her on the back, gently laughing at her reaction. Once, she calms down, she glares at you. "You did that on purpose."
You laugh a little harder. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."
"Screw you." she says, laughing as she wipes her mouth with her hand. "Bucky Barnes, really?"
"Yeah, I don't know why I didn't realize it when he introduced himself to me. Bucky isn't a very common name."
She shakes her head. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Her concern finally coming to the surface.
"Yeah." You nod. "I've thought about it. There's no amount of time I have to do this for. I can stop whenever I want. He's buying me a new place to live, a car."
"Yeah, but what happens to those things when you do decide to call it quits?"
"Nothing. I get to keep them."
"Are you shitting me?" She asks, her eyes wide.
You shake your head. "I'm serious. It's in the contract we signed."
She lets out a small whistle. "I need to find myself a sugar daddy. I could be set for life."
You both laugh.
"Do you think that you'll ever be more than friends with him?"
"I'm not sure. He's so good looking and-"
"And definitely your type."
"And my type. I'm just not sure I'm ready for another relationship. Not after everything I just went though."
"That's understandable. Just don't let what Matt did, define how you view the rest of the world. Especially if they look like Bucky Barnes and are willing to treat you like a goddess."
"Just call me Persephone." You say. You both clink your bottles together and taking another sip.
TAGS:
Still Learning- @chipilerendi @vicmc624
Marvel- @shreddedparchment
Forevers- @jamielea81 @dnnwnchstr22 @also-fangirlinsweden
*If you would like to added to the tag list, please send me an ask. I am able to keep up with them better that way!
#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky reader insert#marvel#marvel series#marvel reader insert#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader
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Cheeky Minx || John Shelby x OC
//Welcoming the New Recruit//
"Makenna Aoife MacTavish, A.K.A. Makenna Muldoon; Duchess of Glenbrook, Aged 23
Served at the Somme as a field nurse and,"
The man before me takes a pause and looks up at me in faux surprise, as if the information on the paper he's gawking at isn't exactly why he's come seeking me out, and then continues in an almost condescending manner;
"Hm... and soforth was awarded title as Duchess and Sole Proprietor of Glenbrook Estates and Enterprises in Boston for her acts of valor.," He pauses again to throw down the file he was reading and light himself a cigarette.
I take in every detail, knowing that this meeting can end up only one of two ways, and assess the scenario. Tilting my head slightly and leaning back into the armchair in front of his desk, I cross my legs; his eyes glance from his ministrations with the box of matches he's holding and zip down to my left thigh where one strip of honeyed milk lies perfectly exposed between my black leather garter holster and my thigh-high nylon stockings.
I see the slight glint of mirth cross his steel blue eyes as he catches my not-so-subtle warning and continues to light his cigarette. I watch as he pulls his drag, the way his fingers just barely drape the stick of tobacco between them without effort, the way his eyes study mine, the way his free hand keeps switching between his knee and the top of the desk.
'A gangster like this doesn't get nervous over one woman with a snubnose purse pistol... Who is he waiting for?'
"I'll take one, while your at it." He smirks at this, and goes to hand me the one he's smoking. It's my turn to smirk, as I nod to his pack.
"A new one, if you don't mind." He raises his eyebrow, but nevertheless, complies. As I lean forward to take the cigarette, he lights another match and lights it for me, leaning over his desk so I don't have to.
'A gentlemanly gangster, not too hard on the eyes either.,' I admit to myself, studying his sharp features and piercing eyes.
Finally, after what seems like ages of simply sitting across and analyzing eachother, he continues.
"You're titled Duchess of Glenbrook but the common people call you Miss Kenna. You have 15 bars, 2 breeders farms, a horse track and 27 plots of real estate, and that's just in London alone. Glenbrook Estates is what, a mansion? And it says here you have 3 vacation homes as well." He scoffs and throws the file down on his desk.
"Well, let's get on with it, Mr. Shelby, as you well know, I'm a busy woman.," My voice is far too suave for my liking, but the situation calls for a little theater. "I would assume you called me here for a reason, this is hardly the place for a business meeting with someone of my status."
I sound like a proper posh cunt, and it seems as if he's taking the bait as he groans out a sigh and leans back into his chair. He lifts a hand to rub his temples, and then slams his fist on his desk in a motion so fast and loud, I was almost startled.
Almost.
He seems unfazed my lack of reaction, and continues on.
"Let's not pretend like you don't know what I want. You have influence all over, spies everywhere, and a very high standing. Everyone knows who you are. Nothing happens without you knowing about it.-"
"-As if I don't already know that-" I snappily interject.
"And I want your men, and your cooperation when we take over London. You're the most untouchable woman in all of North America. If you tell someone not to fuck with us, they won't. And those that do, you have ways of making it so they never existed."
I frown, sinking into the armchair infront of his desk once more and taking a long drag of my smoke.
"I see."
For the next few minutes we simply stare at eachother while we finish off our smokes, picking, analyzing, contemplating. Finally, after he offers me the crystal ashtray to put out, I appraise him and ask one simple question.
"What do you want from me?"
~~~~~~~
It's been 2 months since my meeting with Thomas Shelby at his gambling den, and 6 days since our last correspondence.
"Pack what you can in a suitcase and my men will come to collect you on Thursday. You're not safe."
No explanation, no reasoning, just that little tidbit over the phone while gunshots rang true and the sounds of men fighting grumbled in the background before he abruptly hung up. And since Thursday had come and gone the day after the call, I had resorted to relieving all of my staff save for my most trusted.
The only ones left on premises were my gate guards, my doormen, and my butler amd personal guard Carleton, who had only worked for me for 2 years but I was rather well aquanted with. We had hit it off rather well, and I considered him more friend than staff. He was a tall, broad shouldered Jewish man with a scruffy, large beard and bright eyes that reminded me of a child's, with a contradictory scowl that would make a grizzly piss himself.
Initially after receiving the warning, I had brushed it off without care. Being hunted was nothing new to me after all, being a woman who had served in the war and in other more internal battles of politics. But this was different.
I remember after the call I had snorted in laughter, summing it up as a joke and continuing on with my day. I had been untouchable, faceless and anonymous since the war. Only the most internal government files and most skilled intelligence organizations even knew what I looked like, let alone my real name. That was what had led me to agree to take up business with Thomas in the first place. But 2 months into business with the bloke and I show up to my race track to find every single one of my employees and horses shot and beat to hell.
Since then, I had taken to locking myself in my art studio with my easels and paints to distract myself; though it did little to nothing to soothe my racing mind. For the millionth time in just that day, I wondered why I wasn't safe, I wondered if Thomas and his Blinders had been picked off by their enemies, I wondered if my name had been let slip by one of his lackies in a braw deal that ended badly. I couldn't understand how I had gone from being untouchable, to going into hiding.
The only constant in each equation was none other than Thomas Shelby, and I made a mental note to tear him a new asshole when I got the chance.
I gave a start, knocked from my thoughts as Carleton entered with my afternoon tea, and my paintbrush skewed off stroke.
"Oh, fuck." I swore crassly, looking around my desk to find the paint I had used on the background to cover my mistake; not noticing my butler's sarcastic and smug grin over my classless use of vulgarity.
"Your tea, and lunch, Miss Muldoon." He presented my tray with grandiose show of putting it on my desk and lifting the cover to reveal my tea and what looked to be ladyfingers and some sort of meat sandwich. I didn't care, I was starving and anxious, so I sat and ate, thankful for the distraction.
"Don't be so smug, Carleton, I'm going mad up here." I complained as I ate, gesturing around me. "That smug bastard Shelby is going to pay for this. I've lived so comfortably until now."
"Speaking of, madam, you received a telegram."
"Oh bother, burn it."
"It seems important, ma'am. It mentions the race track."
At this I lean back to look over at him, he's moved clear halfway across the room to speak, and he's shifting his weight and wringing his hands. I sigh, and wave him on. He reads it out slowly, and I "tsk" in disappointment.
"You haven't been practicing," I chastise him, pulling a "give it here" motion with my fingers and taking the telegraph from him as soon as he's close enough. "Have you even read any of the practice books I've given you?"
"...No, ma'am, it's more difficult when you're not helping."
I glance at him with an incredulous look.
"That's no excuse, and you know it." I say, finally taking a moment to look at and read the telegraph in my hands, but it doesn't matter, because as soon as I go to focus, a gunshot resounds from outside the estate by the gates.
With a start, I get up and run to the window, moving the curtains to get a better view. I hear Carleton move the opposite way, closing the doors behind him as he leaves.
I continue to watch out the window, trying to see whats happening, though not to much success. The large fountain in my front garden is centre view from this room and all I can see behind it is a motorcar at my gate and my gatemen pointing their rifles at it. As I walk along the windows to try to catch a better view, I just barely see an arm come out the window of the motorcar with a piece of paper clutched in their outstretched hand before my gatemen move to unlock the gate and let the car through.
That's all I need to see to know.
The Peaky Blinders are outside my house.
(SO this will be a series based off of a slightly Mary-Sue character but it just is part of the story, please don't hate me for it lol. It'll make sense as to why she's this massive standing character later on. She's still a normal ass broad with hormones and issues so its okay lmfao. But anywhoooo, this is basically just a filler character intro to explain why Kenna is around and stuff. John will be in the next chapter, don't worry 😉 also my dumbass didn't proof-read this because its 6:00am and I NEED sleep. )
#john shelby imagine#john shelby x reader#thomas shelby#john shelby#arthur shelby#polly shelby#michael shelby#michael gray#peaky blinders imagine#peaky fucking blinders
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Let me give you my life
Pairing: Loki x Tesseract
Warnings: Major Character Death, Mourning, delusions, mental illness, alcohol, Original Character Death, Odin, fantastic racism
Summary: After Frigga's funeral, Loki starts hearing a voice. It changes their life completely.
Chapter 3: Verse 3
Chapter warnings: math, fantastic racism, death (not graphic)
Chapter summary: the orders
Previous chapter, AO3, next chapter
If I'm a pagan of the good times / my lover's the sunlight
Loki storms the library once again, this time searching everything about the Tesseract and this Entropy they call him all the time.
Entropy still remains a mystery, but there are even more writings about the space stone than the ones they've seen before.
"It says here that they worshipped you," Loki says, but only internally. He's in public, speaking to the walls would make him appear mad.
"People express loyalty in different ways," they answer, always softer since the deal.
"Is that what you want? Loyalty?"
"Among other things, yes. But mostly trust that I will not hurt you, cause I won't," they promise. Loki already knows this.
Can't break something that's already in pieces.
"Brother!" Thor yells as he walks in. Loki's shoulders tense, this idiot never warns them.
"Tho-thor," he answers, eyes on Thor as they drab a chair and side beside him. "How come you be i-i-in here? You ha-ha-hate books," they raise an eyebrow at their brother.
"I'm here to see how you're doing. You've been acting oddly lately," he answers, those blue eyes scanning Loki.
"People grie-grie-grie-grieve in different ways, Th-thor. I a-a-a-assure you, I'm fi-fine," he hums, turning back to the book.
"Loki. After all this, just remember that I'm here for you, eh? You needn't face anything alone," Thor insists, placing a big and steady hand on Loki's shoulder.
Loki's body nods, and smiles, watching as Thor smiles back before leaving. Loki's mind wonders if this is all a mistake. Thor was, is grieving too. Maybe this is all too much…
But Thor wasn't there when Gæirasson offended Loki, neither time. In fact, Thor has been a ghost since Frigga's death.
"You have my trust and loyalty, until the end," Loki decides, feeling in their core how relieved the Tesseract is by the answer.
"Allow me to show you another secret then. Look at your hands but don't touch anything and don't let it spread," they answer.
Loki lets the book and brings his torn from the picking hands under the table, always watching them. Black ropes start appearing and tangling themselves on their fingers, creating a calming sensation and demanding more ground, but Loki doesn't allow it. Out of all kinds of magic, this is by far the most powerful one he has ever seen.
And the most chaotic.
To keep the Goddess on my side / she demands a sacrifice
Like every day, the official Tesseract session is late at night, while Loki should be sleeping. Signs of their decreasing amount of sleep are becoming more and more visible, but they don't care.
"The o-orders?" he asks.
"You need to know some things first. In order to keep you from dying, King Laufey made a deal with one of us. Your life for acts of service. You need to do some things before being free," they do speak like they did on the first days, but somehow still softer.
"Acts of s-s-service?" he questions. So, the stone just needs hands and will borrow theirs?
"Yes. There are things that will keep the stones safe from those who seek them to do harm. Asgard has two, and you need to make sure that some things are set to their protection. It's just one thing, really. But you need to use your new powers to do so,"
Loki nods, the movement small and cut, like a soldier's.
"Ready to-to comply,"
Drain the whole sea / get something shiny
"First order. Free yourself from everything, good and bad," the Tesseract says. Loki blinks in confusion.
"H-how?"
"What bad do you carry into you? The possessiveness, the jealousy, this ego you named pride, all this fury… you don't need them from now on. Let them go," they insist.
"L-let them go?"
"Act as if they don't exist, don't give them your attention. The same thing goes for your bright side. You faith in your moral compass, your deep feeling for everything you care about. Both of those sides will keep you from moving on. You mustn't listen to them anymore," they explain, as if it's something easy.
"So… y-y-you want me to be-to be your li-little m-m-minion?" he raises an eyebrow. Is that what they agreed on? Being a tiny pawn but just on a different chess board?
“No. Not exactly. You are not to abandon them for my own good, but for yours. The acts might hurt these sides of you, you need them in one piece,” their voice softens.
Loki takes a breath, in and out as slow as possible, and nods again. “What-what sh-sh-should I-I do?” even though the stutter stays, he refuses to let his voice break.
They swear they can feel the stone smiling.
“Listen to me, and don’t act upon them. Also, learn how to control possibility magic,”
Possibility magic? Is that what the black ropes are?
“Learn how Midgardians think of possibilities. It’s close to how your new abilities work,” they advise him. So, this is what being under the orders of a stone is like? Homework and pretending? it’s nothing they don’t know how to do for hundreds of years…
“And after the-the week?”
“the fun starts.”
Loki smiles wide, wider than he has ever smiled even before Frigga’s death.
something meaty for the main course / that’s a fine looking high horse
The week passes peacefully. Loki doesn’t have to worry about how to do what, the Tesseract is there to help them with it and lets them just decide how to do what and, oddly enough, the Midgardian science was calming.
At least, more calming than war theory. And less graphic.
He was chilling on the training grounds and working on the newfound magic, until the Tesseract came.
“It’s time,” they say moments before a blinding blue light covers Loki.
With the blink of an eye, they’re at a castle’s yard, hiding behind a bush.
“Prevent the war, you know how,” the Tesseract says again.
On the contrary, Loki has no idea where he is and what he has to do.
At least not until a guard passes by, near the bush, their armour bearing Gæirasson's symbol.
They smirk, moving from shadow to shadow and into the castle, where they cast an invisibility spell to navigate without worrying about getting caught.
What you've got in the stable? / We've a lot of starving faithful
In the grand hall, Loki finds the old lord. They're discussing an attack, in which he is the main character, of course. They're to strike tomorrow evening.
Loki has to hold himself not to laugh. Instead, they sit and wait. Wait until Gæirasson ends the council and heads to their bedroom. And Loki follows. Until the corridors make a room, with six doors to navigate through.
It would be such a shame if they suddenly closed shut, locking the two foes inside.
The old fool chuckles. "I know you're here, Frost Giant. I can smell your people's blood," he looks around.
Loki chuckles back and drops the spell, standing right in front of the man.
"Is it this? Or do your aged joins hurt with the cold?" he titles his head, showing his signature mischievous smile.
"Why are you here? To negotiate? We've been past this part," they growl. Loki doesn't break the smirk, but lets a glow pass their eyes. Green, but with icy blue undertones, and a pitch black shadow.
"No. We are here to talk about monsters. For, as you can smell, the blood of my siblings who you slained are screeching for it"
That looks tasty / that looks plenty / this is hungry work
"Do you know anything of my people's belief regarding the Norns?" Loki asks, circling around the man like a predator waiting to strike.
"Why should I care about the opinions of monsters?" he spits, trying to mimic the glare.
"Oh, because it's interesting. We believe in the norns, like you do. But they don't create the strings, they knit them. Twisting and turning and combining and separating people, and letting us choose where to go on each knot. Fascinating. Oddly enough, the mortals have a similar way of thinking, at least the ones who are closer to science. They name it possibilities, and write it with numbers,
"Let me give you an example. There's a fifty percent possibility that I will continue this conversation with my normal face," Loki speaks, letting the Æsir glamour fade and rising to his Jötunn height. "But I won't choose this path because your ceilings are low and I would have to bend my neck," they continue, after walking a few steps and letting their horns scratch the ceiling. The glamour appears again, bringing him to his Æsir skin.
"And there's always the possibility that you die, because of your old age and the stress of the war you created. And the only reason people remember you is as an example of why not to piss me off," he grins, the black ropes tangling around his wrists.
"And the possibility, in Midgardian terms, is one hundred percent," they leap closer and grab the old man by his collar, staring right into the fear in his eyes.
"I have a message for my people in Hel, deliver it when you see them. Tell them to rip this old cunt apart, yet keep one piece for me for when I arrive," he spits, watching as the ropes tangle around their throat and mummify them in front of his eyes, making the fear and anger burn out.
They throw the corpse on the floor and open the doors as the Tesseract casts another light, revealing Loki's chambers as it fades away.
"You shouldn't have scratched the ceiling with your horns," they say, worried.
"And? I laughed at the face of one old fool already, what's a second one? And if I am to join my family, let at least my exit from the hypocrites be dramatic," he laughs, ready for the guards to storm in and take him to the dungeons.
#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#loki marvel#Loki#tesserloki#marvel angst#angst#heavy angst#no happy ending#dark#odin's a+ parenting#grief/mourning#language#fantastic racism#tw major character death#mental illness#it's bad#what have i done#what did i do#grab your zoloft and be ready for a rollercoaster#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#marvel fanfic series#fanfic series#multichapter
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A Thomas Lightwood Bisexual Story (Part 2 and final) takes place after Chain of Gold so will have spoilers!!
-That is quite the story. Though i must admit,i would never expect such a thing from you,Tom.-Matthew said,with a grin on his face.
Thomas really wanted to hide his face in a hole somewhere,he knew that at least one of his friends would make fun of him because of the way they found him at the Devil Tavern.
And of course,it had to be Matthew,which wasn't that surprising,since he was the Libertine of The Merry Thieves. James and Christopher were too shocked to tease him about anything.
-Not sure if i will ever even sit on that bed again. Perhaps it would be better if Christopher burned those sheets.-Said James.
-Indeed! I have always wanted to set fire in that bed. It annoyed me,though i can't recall the reason why.-Said Christopher.
Thomas rolled his eyes.
-Do as you please. It's not like something like this will ever happen again. I was a little drunk yesterday as well,surely we can blame this on the alcohol.-Said Thomas.
-If you say so. Perhaps we could just ask the Italian girl if we see her. It is very likely that she will appear at the Institute eventually.-Said Matthew.
-Then i should really make myself scarce.-Thomas said.
-Why worry? I was under the impression that she told you herself that it would mean nothing,and that it wouldn't be like you ruined her.-James asked.
-It would still be very awkward. I am such an awful pill! I was out of my mind completely! My mother would be ashamed of what i did! And Eugenia...-Thomas was saying,but Matthew stopped him.
-There is absolutely no need to fret over this,Thomas. Let it be then. This girl is probably smart enough to ignore you completely.-Said Matthew.
-That seems unlikely. We are having a gathering at the Institute today,to celebrate the destruction of the Mandikhor.-James said.
Thomas shook his head.
-Bloody hell! You have to be kidding me!-Said Thomas.
-I understand you frustration,dearest cousin. I was also hoping i could spend the afternoon in the lab,until my father literally told me he would lock me in the lab for an entire month if i didn't show up at the Institute today.-Said Christopher.
-Apparently,Uncle Gabriel maybe worried that you are lacking social skills. Perhaps he wishes to introduce you to beautiful ladies?-Said Matthew,smiling.
-Haven't i met every beautiful lady in the Enclave by now?-Christopher asked.
-Cease the conversation! Do you not see that our Tom here is deeply scared of seeing the italian girl again?-Said James,laughing.
Thomas tried to laugh as well,that is what he should be doing. But he simply couldn't,he was way too embarassed.
He did not wanted to see Giovanna again.
"Later"
The Merry Thieves were finally at the Institute,which was indeed,full of people. Seemed like the celebration was being taken seriously.
Thomas was feeling uneasy,knowing that Giovanna could literally pop up out of nowhere to haunt him. He could have avoided all of that,if he had listened to reason.
It seemed pointless to think about that now. It was probably better if he focused on acting as normally as he could.
-Is everything okay,Tommy? You look rather pale.-Said a voice Thomas knew very well.
Gideon. His father. Thomas could not help but wonder how Gideon would react if he revealed his doings of the last night.
-I am fine. Just wasn't really in the mood for a party now.-Said Thomas,without looking to Gideon's eyes.
Gideon shrugged.
-Just try to have fun. Your friends seem to be enjoying themselves.-Said Gideon,pointing to the rest of the Merry Thieves.
Thomas approached them,and Matthew pulled him close.
-Have you seen our ragazza already? You must be quite scared,eh?-Asked Matthew,laughing.
-How does he get drunk this quickly?-Asked Thomas.
-It must be his hidden talents,though i'm not really sure how that helps him. Thomas,i already told you,stop worrying about the girl. Your parents will notice your uneasiness.-Said James.
-If it were that easy. Where is Christopher? I thought Uncle Gabriel forced him to come?-Said Thomas.
-Oh he is here! You can see him there,probably explaining about the antidote to my stupid brother and Grace Blackthorn.-Said Matthew.
Thomas looked at them,near the door. Christopher speaked quite quickly about everything. Charles was probably pretending to be interested,since he wanted to become Consul and had to listen to people and their blabbering. Grace was likely dying of boredom.
-She looks stunning in that ivory dress.-James said.
Matthew slapped James' hand.
-You are engaged,Mr.Herondale. Have that in mind before you go drool all over the floor Grace steps on.-Said Matthew.
James seemed to have cursed in a whisper,which wasn't surprising for Thomas. Only their little group of friends knew that James and Cordelia's marriage was a sham.
But Thomas wasn't feeling patient to deal with those things today. He just wished the party would be over quickly so that he could leave the Institute without the risk of seeing Giovanna again.
One could only hope,and that was exactly what Thomas was going to do.
"Hours Later"
-Are you looking for anyone in specific,Tom? Or have you forgotten how the Institute's ballroom looked like?-Anna asked,she sat beside him,looking stunning as always.
-I'm actually trying to avoid someone that may or may not show up.-Said Thomas.
-That seems to be very dull. This whole celebration is actually turning to be quite a bore. Good thing my parents won't mind if i leave to go to the Hell Ruelle today.-Said Anna,smiling.
-Is that so? It doesn't surprise me that you prefer that scandalous place over a simple ball.-Said Thomas.
-Oh i assure you,the Hell Ruelle is more than just scandalous. You should come with me sometime. You will have the time of your life.-Said Anna.
Thomas didn't quite knew if Anna was being serious or not. She probably found him way too dull to enjoy a place like the Hell Ruelle. But he wouldn't have to worry about seeing Giovanna again if he left the party.
Thomas didn't knew if Gideon or Sophie would mind,but he wasn't worried either. The Hell Ruelle did seem to be quite scandalous. But after what he did,why not give it a shot?
-Anna,before you leave,please try to find me. I want to go to the Hell Ruelle along with you.-Said Thomas.
Anna's eyes widened with surprise. It has been ages since Thomas last saw Anna surprised with anything.
-Are you absolutely sure? You do know that the Ruelle has a reputation,do you not?-Asked Anna.
Thomas nodded.
-I do,and that is why i wish to go with you.-He said.
Anna simply smiled.
-Follow me then!-She said.
"At the Hell Ruelle"
-This is the Ruelle,Thomas! Be sure of this,you will never find a place like the Ruelle!-Said Anna.
Thomas could barely analyze the place,it was just so full of people,and every single one of them were downworlders. The blue fire of the warlocks gave the place a unique atmosphere.
He recognized some of the famous downworlders,like Magnus Bane and his cat eyes,Malcolm Fade and Hypatia Vex,that was smiling and talking to Anna.
Thomas wasn't expecting Anna to keep him company,it was obvious that she was there to entertain herself more than anything. Perhaps he should just do the same.
Thomas went to the bar table,where a Ifrit with four arms and jade colored skin was serving drinks. His expression changed slightly to one of distaste. Probably because Thomas was a Shadowhunter.
-Nephilim. Do you wish to drink something?-He asked,his voice was so husky.
Thomas took a few seconds to answer. He felt so out of place there,he needed something to make him feel more...at home.
-I want something strong. I wish to get drunk as quickly as possible.-Thomas said.
Weirdly,the Ifrit smiled,his teeth were as yellow as his eyes.
-That can be taken care of.-He said.
The Ifrit filled a glass with champagne,and then threw some pink colored powder in it.
-Drink it,Nephilim,and you will not remember a single thing when you wake up tomorrow.-The Ifrit said.
Thomas only nodded,and drank all the champagne,until the glass was completely empty.
He immediately felt quite dizzy,as if everything around him was spinning.
He walked to where the downworlders were dancing. It was quite a different dance,their bodies where so close,that was something Thomas would never see in the balls of the Shadowhunters.
-Yes! Shadowhunters are so dull! We are a great bore!-Thomas said,he felt like he was screaming,but the sound of the music was probably louder than his voice.
He bumped into someone,and nearly fell to the ground. Whatever it was the Ifrit gave him,it was definitely working.
Thomas looked at the boy whose he had just bumped. It was definitely a warlock,his skin had a very bright blue tone,almost white. His hair was pale as the moon,his eyes were star-shapped,just like the ones of Hypatia Vex,and were as green as the forest.
The boy was really handsome,in that magic and supernatural way only warlocks could be. He smiled to Thomas.
-An angel in the Hell Ruelle? Are you not lost,angel boy?-He asked.
Thomas shook his head.
-I want to be here! I'm not as dull as everyone thinks! And i'm not just kind!-Thomas said.
He barely had control of his words,but something inside him felt like he would have a huge headache tomorrow.
-You surely are not dull! As a matter of fact,you seem to be the more interesting here!-He said.
Thomas got closer to him,almost without realizing. The warlock was quite handsome. And he did seemed interesting as well.
It was almost like Thomas felt an attraction to him. Which wasn't that surprising for Thomas. He knew at least that much about himself.
Though he did not know what to do know.
-You are interesting too! Do you have a name,mate!?-Thomas asked.
The warlock boy laughed.
-Would you remember it tomorrow if i tell you?-He asked,smiling.
-I cannot promise you that!-Thomas said.
And all of a sudden,his mouth was on Thomas',and they were kissing quite fiercely. His mouth tasted like a combination of wine and blue ruin.
It was a bittersweet sensation,almost addictive. Thomas felt like he could use some more of that.
His skin started to feel hot,as if the entire place began to burn. He unbuttoned his shirt,but the warlock boy stopped him.
-If you wish to go further,angel boy,them it will have to be in a more private place.-He said.
Thomas shrugged,almost taking his shirt off.
-I don't give a bloody hell!-Thomas shouted,the warlock laughed and grabbed him by his tie,taking him in to one of the inner chambers.
This one had a sapphire color,full of blue diamonds and other blue gems,like lapis lazuli,aquamarine and indicolite.
He threw Thomas on the bed,and began to take his clothes off. Thomas kicked off his shoes and took off his socks,his shirt was open.
He wasn't thinking straight,deep down he knew that. His mind was rather foggy. But what he was doing now,it didn't felt wrong.
The warlock was nearly nude,he crashed on Thomas as he layed on the bed. His light blue chest pressed against Thomas' skin,they were burning.
They kissed violently,Thomas' hands running down the back of the boy whose name he didn't even knew.
But it didn't matter,he wouldn't remember it anyways. Thomas removed his shirt and tossed it on the floor,he left the bed and managed to somehow lock the door.
And then he was back to the bed,and the night went on.
"The Next Day"
Thomas woke up in a place completely unknown too him. The only thing he realized at first was that it was all too blue.
The second thing he noticed was that he wasn't wearing any clothes. But there were no bed sheets covering him this time.
"Again? Must be a record or something." He thought.
And the third,and most surprising,was the blue warlock,nude as well,beside on the bed,still asleep.
Thomas quickly got up,looking at everything around him. He didn't exactly remembered what he had been up to. He couldn't remember the boy's name,and his head was exploding.
His clothes were in very unusual places around the blue room,much to his dismay.
-Did this really happened? Have i really done this? Oh Raziel! If my father could see me right now.-Thomas said,he was pretty sure the sleeping warlock was unable to hear him.
Thomas smiled,and then started to laugh a little bit. He was feeling many things,but regret was not one of them.
Perhaps it was just silly to think about Alastair. Thomas did not need him for anything. Anna was right about the Hell Ruelle after all.
He didn't knew if he would ever return,but he did knew himself a lot better right now.
And he was happy with that.
#cassandra clare#chain of gold#james herondale#the last hours#thomas lightwood#alastair carstairs#matthew fairchild#christopher lightwood#the merry thieves#original character
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Part 8 bitch.
Y’all know. Mentions of pills. I take those prescribed little things that cost 80 each visit just to help
Josuke, Koichi and me were walking from school. “-And Anyways, after I didn’t accept his love letter out of me literal dozens in my locker he came at me and was like : ‘You’re a bitch? You might as well go out with me and be one with taste.’ And I come at him with ‘Such a big talk from someone with such small dick energy. I’m not taking shit from someone who only has actions with videos. Ciao,boo boo .’ And that’s why you saw me crowd surfing-“ Tamami appears. “Boss! Ma’am!” “Sup,Shawty(I genuinely apologize if I offend anyone. I’m Latina raised in a mixed neighborhood and I was surrounded by poc so I’ve been saying it all my life. If you have any issues, I’ll stop. I can’t do anything about what happens in my dreams though.)How’s life?” “What are you doing here? What evil deeds are you cooking up now?” He gets offended and explains how he’s turned over a new leaf. Of course, it’s the mafia.
(This translation was the one I grew up with and it aged like a very fine wine.)
Yadayadaya. Tohikazu Hamazada and get explains he’s in 3-C “Wait, I heard that name before... While I was crowd surfing after obliterating the guy with my SSS tier insults, he threw me a little too high in the air! Lemme just say, he’s strong.” “This guy... has reasons to use his stand?” “Boss! Well asked!” He then explain to us how psychopathic he is. “Wait, was the argument at 3pm outside the school parking lot?” “How does that matter?” “Where I come from, if you say: ‘A las 3 en el parking. Tu y yo y nuestros puños’ which translates roughly to Your, me and our fists at the schools parking lot at 3.’ That makes the fight by default scheduled, therefore no one interferes.” “Damn,Sky, that’s rough-” “Ma’am, that’s good logic!” He finishes explaining. Then leaves. *I’m like TT! Just like TT* “Hey Jotaro!” “Josuke, you’re in charge of Sky, she has a list of her allergies, her pills and her literal only pair of PJ’s” “Hey Jotaro!! I lived alone from ages 10-14 alone!! I can take care of myself!... You know what, don’t say anything, I heard myself and I heard how wrong I was. I’ll stay put...” Josuke decides to investigate Hazamada. “Fuck, I guess I’ll come with... You know, today I wanted to hang out with you JoJo but now that I’m being forced, I kinda lost a little interest. Will you join us Koi?” Blush, don’t ask why, apparently I had this little character sheet I forgot?? And turns out it’s a curse?? Anyways, he joins. “Guys, should I lock pick this shit or you can do this by the good ol’ stand way?” “Stand.” “How did you guys coordinated that? It was beautiful..” We get to Hazamada’s locker. We check “Sky?” “No,now OR arrow here.Koichi?” “Nope.” “Hey, there’s a mannequin!” “Don’t touch it Josuke-... And he touched it.” Then fake Josuke appears “You know, this town tells me to go fuck myself every day.” And he mimicks Josuke exactly “Koichi?” “Yeah?” “If they do a switcheroo, can you help me find the real one?” “Why?” “I don’t want to go with the fake one.” The fake Josuke references the "Perman" series, but it goes over Josuke's head, he doesn’t get it. It begins to belittle Josuke over this, which of course, he gets mad, and then the fake Josuke raises his arm and so does the real Josuke. The mannequin reveals that its power is to manipulate whoever it copies when their eyes meet. He elbows Koichi violently using the real Josuke’s arm. My man Koichi flies, I also get elbowed, and I also fly. “This town hates me...” Yadayadaya “Splosh, really?” “I healed Koichi with Crazy Diamond at the same time I elbowed him, and Sky got elbowed in her chest, it probably didn’t hurt. “IT DID BUT SINCE I SAW IT COMING MY HAND SOFTENED THE BLOW!” After healing him and fixing the door, Josuke and Koichi go out of the school to look for Hazamada. “JoJo, my good ol’ communicator is dead, you need to call Jotaro with a public phone until I find a source of electricity.” He tries “He’s probably with the fake Josuke. And I don’t think we can look for Hazamada, there are too many phones in this town to get there in time.” Meanwhile, Surface lies and tells Jotaro to go to the train station. “AHAHAH!! I CHARGED IT!!PleaseWorkPleaseWorkPleaseWorkPleaseWoOoOrk!!!”It doesn’t “DAMMIT!!” While I’m trying to talk to Jotaro, Josuke is already with the receptionist. Then I manage to call Tamami who is already with the fake Josuke “TAMAMI!!” “Ma’am!” “THE REAL JOSUKE IS WITH ME!!!” “Good observation ma’am!” “K, bye.” We go outside “Oh Josuke, why are you leaving school? We thought you went back home?” Then I slide and scrape my stockings. “SAFE!!” “Where were you Sky?” “Ah, I was calling my dad, who took all of my money after coming back from the store buying milk. I’m legally my own guardian now. Anyways, WHERE DID JOSUKE G O !” “Where did I go?” And we’re running. “WHERE ARE WE RUNNING TO?!!” “THE STATION DUMBASS!!” Yadayadaya, we find him “DAMMIT!! I’M NOT USUALLY THIS AGRESSIVE BUT I’VE BEEN CHEWING A PIECE OF GUM WITHOUT FLAVOUR ALL THIS TIME AND IT’S GROSS!!! I HATE THIS TASTE!!!
(I’m often told I look cute when mad, I don’t know why, I look like this.)
(I am aware I’m very pale, also, Face reveal? My face is my profile picture but that was 2 years ago. The white part of me is that when my hair gets wet, half of it is white and the other is black. And when I have a flash in my eye, one eye shows up as blue and the other as red.)
Anyways, I guess that also applied here “Girlie, don’t kid me. You’re too adorable to be threatening.” I throw the piece of glass along with Josuke, yadayadaya, we escape. Now Hazamada has to accept that surface doesn’t have a right hand.
Now, Jotaro is waiting near the Morioh train station, we Hazamada and Surface running toward the plaza by the shortest path,“We won't be able to catch him” I said, huffing, I’m not good running when I need to. Hazamada checks if Josuke’s not pursuing him. “We’ll take care of them pretty soon, Tohikazu, just relax!” I come here “I,I got lost.” Huffing, he prepares to attack “Chill, my stand is still in an egg, as you can see I don’t have stamina, I’m kinda weak. And I lack good looks.” I take a gasp of air “The only thing I have is that I’m a psychic-” huff “ I saw the outcome of this future and-” I have a cough fit. “Oh God- You win, you just need to-” I finally catch my breath. “look out for the train” the siren sounds. “Tohikazu, the train is here!” He looks, it’s echoes, I’m gone. We find Jotaro, I feel like a dying animal. “Next-Jesus-Next time you need me to go somewhere far, get me a bicycle.I don’t care I don’t know how to ride it, I’ll learn just to get there.” Josuke tells Jotaro about Surface but he suddenly pulls a pen out of Jotaro's jacket.Fuck, Surface is now controlling him from afar through one of the gallery's windows. “FUCK!!” Fuck indeed We turn our heads away and Surface tries to stab Jotaro with Josuke’s limb, when I see the motorcycle dudes Yadayadaya ya it’s over.
Part 9, here we come!
#lmao second face reveal so far on this blog sdjdjxsj yall do b lookin kinda fresh doe ngl😤#but my own reveal?? not happenin...most likely😔#submission
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I Won't Rest Until I Find You
Pairing: Alucard | Adrian Tepes / Trevor Belmont
Words: 3208
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Read on Ao3
Notes: This is set during Curse of Darkness, but in my mind it could continue on with the show’s continuity as well.
So I guess I want to start with a disclaimer if Trevor seems out of character to some people: I haven't watched the Netflix show yet. I know Castlevania from the games. But I do plan on watching the show.
I’m making Castlevania art too, and if you’re interested in fan-merch and pins, I’m going to be starting a Kickstarter soon for some Castlevania pins.
I've been loving these games and characters more and more and have been wanting to create content. I also make art (@emptymasks on social media and on my Etsy shop) and I am soon going to launch a Castlevania pin Kickstarter.
I also want to say something about kins, so if that isn't your thing or makes you uncomfortable then please stop reading. I'm @emptymasks on tumblr, but I just made a side-blog (which is also a kin-blog) for Castlevania @princeadriantepes.
Also, also! I have a Castlevania Discord server! DM me or send me an ask for the link Sever is LGBT and kin friendly.
Phew, thank you so much if you read all of that text. Now onto the story...
“Why did you attack me?” Hector’s shout echoed through the empty castle.
Trevor shook his head and sighs.
“The place to which Isaac has gone can only be entered by those who possess very advanced powers; I had to test you.” He explained.
“I see.” Hector moved forward. “Meaning you would have me pursue him?”
“Indeed, but first you shall need my help. Come.”
Trevor led them throughout the castle. He hated that he remembered the layout. Everywhere he looked there were memories. Fights and injuries and screams. He had fought Grant along that corridor not too far into the castle. The poor man still awoke in screams, fearing he was in a body that wasn't his own. He’d been working hard to rebuild the villages and houses. And then Sypha, having to hide her magic from the world. Trevor had seen his fair share of dark magic and monsters before facing Dracula, but despite that had not been so blind to think magic could only be evil.
Trevor slowed his walking as they entered the main hall. The place of their final battle, and unfortunately it seemed, for future final battles as well. They had made a great team, his ‘legendary three warriors’ as people had already begun calling them. Grant, Sypha and…
Trevor’s feet halted.
“It’s for the best.” Alucard had said.
“Who for? Because it certainly isn’t for us. It isn’t for the people who you could help protect.” Trevor yelled.
Sypha had put a hand on his arm, wanting to calm him.
“Trevor, after everything I have done… I cannot risk becoming like my father.”
“You won’t.”
“You cannot know that!”
Trevor had never seen Alucard shout before. He looked so distraught.
“Cursed blood flows throughout me. It is only a matter of time that it turns sour, or some dark powers try to turn me into him, or use me for his resurrection.”
“You are stronger than them, Alucard.” Trevor tried to reach out his hand, but Alucard stepped back.
“We cannot know what the future holds. I cannot take the chance that I will hurt others…”
“And what of the chance that you could help them? You’re reasoning makes no sense, are you truly so blind that-”
“I killed my own father!” Alucard turned to face him, tears streamed down his face. “Do you not understand that! I know what he did, I know he was deserving of such a fate… But that does not ease the pain in my soul…”
“Adrian…”
“Let us help you.” Sypha said.
“I care about you both greatly. Thank you for being my friends… But this is something I must do. I will not ask permission, nor seek approval. But please do not think badly of me, and do not blame yourselves.”
Alucard turned to look at them one last time.
“I love you.” He stared at Trevor as he spoke.
Trevor lunged forwards, but Alucard had already transformed had flown into the shadows of the night.
“Belmont? Are you alright?” Hector’s voice cut through his memories.
“Ah, yes. My apologies, I was simply remembering exactly where…” Trevor trailed off as he walked towards the centre of the room.
He pulled off a glove and reached for his knife. He didn’t wince as he pulled the blade through his closed fist. His nails dug into the cut as he squeezed, and the blood dripped out and mingled with the red carpet.
The stains glowed for a second, before a seal grew out from below them.
“There. ‘Tis done.”
“So, the Belmont blood acts as a key…” Hector mused. “And what lies beyond this point?”
“Do not ask. If you knew your heart might waver. For now, hold the image of Isaac in your mind, think only of defeating him.”
“Very well.” Hector said and stepped onto the seal.
“Hector, hunt him down. And when you have him, show him no mercy.”
He watched Hector’s body disappear into the light, and his feet started to move backwards.
He knew Alucard was here… Or rather, his body was. Sypha had knocked him out that night as nothing could console him. Sypha had been trying her best, but she could see his heart was not whole anymore.
“I miss him too, Trevor.” She had said one night. “But he made his choice, we have to respect it.”
“Why must we?” He bit back.
She signed.
“I heard Grant was asking after you again today.” Trevor was aware his voice sounded distant.
“Yes… He hasn’t given up on me yet.” She made her voice sound light, as if she was wanting Trevor to laugh.
Trevor shifted, unsure if he should face her.
“Would you… Are you considering taking him up on his offer?”
He saw her eyes widen slightly. He thought for a second she was going to slap him.
Instead she sighed.
“Do you want me to take him up on his offer?”
“I just want you to be happy Sypha… I fear that your happiness cannot be found with me.”
She stood up walked across the room.
“You loved him back?” She mumbled.
“Didn’t we both?”
She chuckled, but she sounded sad.
“Perhaps you should look for him?”
“And what happened to leaving him with his choices?”
She walked back over and pushed his longer hair away from his face, her fingers grazing over his scar.
“Because I want for you to be happy too. I do not think I can stand one more day of you sulking.” She smiled. “I try and reach for him sometimes… There’s something of him in the castle’s ruins. Whether it’s just memories or it’s him I cannot tell but…”
“It’s the only place I have to start…”
“You’re not mad I didn’t tell you sooner?”
“Sypha… Love, you have only ever tried to protect me from my own stupidity. I do not blame you for protecting yourself from it too.”
Trevor glanced back at the seal. It can only be closed from the inside, which meant Hector should have no trouble leaving (unless he fails), but… if he leaves it does mean something could follow Hector inside… The castle was rather empty though…
Before Hector had arrived, he’d sworn he was close. There was something amidst the ruins behind Dracula’s accursed throne. The presence of another entering the castle caused him to cease his search for he feared Isaac was entering.
He wouldn’t be leaving the room… He would only be taking his eyes off the portal for a short while…
Well it didn’t seem to matter what his brain thought the right thing to do was, because his body was already doing the selfish thing. He dug through the rocks until he found a hole. He ran back to grab one of the candles from the wall and gave one last glance to the seal, before he jumped down.
The candle didn’t provide much light, but that combined with the small rays coming in from the entrance to pit revealed more stone. Parts of pillars and archways and cracking gargoyles. None of them seemed to have life in them, but Trevor brought his whip out all the same. He held the candle up to the back wall, hoping to see something there, when his foot become wedged. More stone, Trevor assumed, until he felt his knee resting against the same object. He brought the candle to scan the shape. It was far darker than the rocks, and it stretched out beyond where the candle could see. Trevor kept himself along its side as he manoeuvred around it. The edges seemed to get wider as it went up and Trevor’s breath caught in his throat as they become thinner again almost at the top. He kept his whip in his hand as he reached a finger out and sure enough there was a lip, an opening.
Trevor took a deep breath and hoped Isaac wasn’t about to jump out at him.
In one motion Trevor threw the lid of the coffin open and jumped back with his whip ready to strike.
But nothing jumped out.
He kept his arm outstretched as he neared the coffin and peered over. Despite the low light, there was no mistaking the pale skin and golden hair. Trevor had to fight the urge to reach out and touch him. He placed the candle down in order to reach for a vial Sypha had given him.
“Once people hear you’re searching for someone, it might not take some long to realise who it is. And you know how those succubi like to transform into loved ones to lure people in. Throw this onto them and any illusion like that will be displaced. If you pour this on him and nothing happens, then its him.”
Alucard was going to kill him for drenching him… Not that he wasn’t going to kill him for stealing him away either but… that was something he could deal with later.
He splashed the potion onto Alucard’s chest, remembering Alucard throwing a fit anytime Trevor got his hair wet. He watched the potion soak through the shirt and… into his binding. Trevor was going to have to tell him off for that later… But if this was a random monster, it wouldn’t know to wear binding… Trevor hoped and waited, made himself count to twenty just to be certain, and Alucard’s body didn’t change.
Trevor reached out a shaking hand to cup Alucard’s sleeping face. He looked so peaceful… Trevor could feel the guilt welling up, but… This wasn’t just for him. He hoped he could help Alucard too. He shouldn’t have locked himself away because he thought the world was better off without him… He needed help… He needed to allow himself to be helped.
Trevor felt the rumbling beneath his feet before he heard it. Rocks started to fall into the pit and it felt as though the ground was moving upwards…
Not again…
He grabbed Alucard’s limp body and slung him over his shoulder. Jumping on top of the coffin he flung his arm up so that the whip latched onto a pillar above them. He carefully removed a hand from Alucard, letting him angle his body up to support the weight, and used both hands to climb the whip. He was lucky that despite his height, Alucard didn’t weight very much. He carried Alucard out from the ruins and into the hall, before setting him down and going to inspect the seal, which was now glowing brighter.
Shit.
He could see the spires raising up past the windows and could hear the storm more clearly. The castle was once again flowing with power. The seal seemed to be pulsing now and Trevor could feel the power coming from it. The castle was waking up and it wouldn’t be long before everything inside it would too.
Wait… Everything…
Trevor heard a groan and the whip was ready to lash out before he had even turned around.
He gasped.
“Alucard…?”
Trevor watched as Alucard brought himself to his feet. The dhampir seemed to come to his senses at the sound of his name, his head shooting up and pale eyes locking onto Trevor’s. His eyes scanned across Trevor’s body, taking in the new clothing and hair… And his ageing, Trevor thought as he felt a little self-conscious.
“Did something happen? Is there some emergency?” Alcuard's voice was dry.
“Not exactly… That is to say, there is a fight going on, but not one we need take part in…”
“Then… Why am I…?”
“Need I repeat what I said before? You deserve to live, Alucard. You deserve to stay alive, and you deserve a chance to be happy.”
“I was.” Alucard spat. “You couldn’t be satisfied could you?”
Trevor walked towards him, but Alucard stumbled back. His strength clearly hadn’t returned to him yet.
“Why, Trevor? Why did you have to wake me up? Why did you have to bring me back?” Alucard’s voice was breaking.
“Perhaps because I couldn’t live with myself.” Trevor continued to walk towards him. “Perhaps because you told me you loved me and then ran away. Perhaps because you gave up and left to go and die for no-”
“I wanted to die!”
Alucard’s voice rang out throughout the castle. The storm seemed too quiet. Alucard was shaking and he bent his head down and clutched at it as he cried.
“No one should feel like that…” Trevor whispered. “Let me help you, Adrian. Let me take care of you. I love you too-”
Trevor groaned. Why did this shit always happen?
He saw red hair out of the corner of his eye, and glanced down at the blade sticking out of his chest. He was dimly aware of Alucard lunging up and Isaac easily pushing hem out of the way.
“Fiend. What are you doing here?” Trevor tried not to move too much around the dagger.
“I can’t have you interfering beyond this point.” Isaac kicked Alucard as he tried to stand. “Only just awoken, little lord? You haven’t any strength in you at all yet. As for the seal, I left that to Hector.”
Trevor tried to reach out to Alucard, but Isaac pulled him back against the dagger.
“Impossible. The seal can only be undone by a torrent of demonic energy, Hector could not know that.”
He felt Isaac move back and prepared for another blow, when Isaac fell and Trevor grabbed onto the dagger to stop it leaving his chest, wincing is it cut into his hands through his gloves. Now wouldn’t be a good time to die of blood loss. He stumbled onto his knees and leant forwards.
“Fools!” Isaac picked himself up from where Alucard had tripped him. “Do not equate a devil-forgemaster’s power with that of an ordinary sorcerer. For a seal like that, the magic produced in battle is more than enough. Placing a guard there proved to be your downfall… But enough talk.”
Isaac reached for the dagger’s handle, still sticking out of Trevor’s back. Alucard pulled himself upwards and tried to beat Isaac to it. Isaac’s hand was grasped around the handle when a sudden burst of light knocked both of them backwards.
Trevor cried and fell to the floor, and Alucard crawled over to him.
“Julia! You still insist to side with them?” Isaac wiped the blood off the dagger with his hand.
“You may not realise it yet, but I am trying to help you brother.” She said.
Isaac stared down at the fallen Belmont and laughed.
“I would stay and chat, but Hector is waiting for me.” He cackled as he teleported away.
Julia rushed to Trevor’s side and started to push him onto his back, only for Alucard to grab her wrist.
“I’m trying to save his life. You would do well to help me.” She urged, pushing his hands aside and getting to work.
“Am I supposed to know who you are?” Alucard slumped back, tiredness and confusion overtaking him.
“I’m Julia.”
“…Right”
Trevor was dimly aware of Julia’s hands pushing his clothes open as she murmured incantations. Whatever she was saying seemed to be helping as his vision came more into focus and the pain lessened.
He cast his eyes over to Alucard. He seemed to be staring at Julia as if he wanted his eyes to burn through her. Trevor chuckled, and in an instant those pale eyes were on him instead.
“I see age hasn’t made you any less overzealous.” Alucard said.
Trevor could have wept again if he wasn’t so tired.
“Come here,” Julia turned her head to Alucard as she stood up. “You both need taking somewhere safe to rest and heal.”
Alucard dragged himself over to them. Julia tapped her staff on the ground and after the light engulfing them faded, Trevor looked upon a familiar building.
“Should I be worried that you know where I live?” He questioned Julia.
“You should be thankful, I just saved your life.” She put an arm around him to help him up.
Alucard came around his other side to help as well, but he still seemed as if he might collapse at any moment and so Trevor tried to not put too much weight on him.
“Thank you, Julia, truly… What will you do about your brother?” Trevor asked.
“Isaac has been lost to me for many years now. All I can do is aid Hector and hope he frees my brother from this curse.”
“Then I wish you luck. But be careful inside that castle.”
“I will be.” She nodded goodbye and transported herself away.
“So… Who is she?” Alucard asked.
“I have no idea.” Trevor replied.
He looked over at Alucard and smiled, a smile which grew wider when he saw Alucard fighting against his lips twitching upwards.
Trevor moved himself closer and groaned
“You’re supposed to be resting.” Alucard’s hands were on his shoulders.
“So should you.”
Trevor’s hands moved upwards and pushed the coat off Alucard’s shoulders. Alucard seemed too tired to fight him. He moved his hands up to cup Alucard’s face, his thumbs gliding over the pale skin.
He let out a shaky breath. He was crying again, but he wasn’t ashamed. He’d done it. He’d found him.
“Please, stay. I know you wanted to be asleep, but I promise you I can help you. I can make you feel better, closer to whole… And if I’m allowed to be selfish, then please don’t leave me. Alucard, Adrian please, please I can’t lose you again, I won’t survive it, so please…” Trevor was aware that he was rambling and saying the same things over and over but he couldn’t seem to stop.
He didn’t want to stop begging until he heard Alucard’s reply.
He watched Alucard’s eyes widen and his hands come to grip at Trevor’s coat.
“You missed me this much…?” He said in wonder.
“Of course I did. How could I not? Please… Say you’ll stay… Stay with me…”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It is. It is easy. We’ll deal with trouble as it comes. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but I promise I can help ease the pain of it. I promise. I promise I’ll take care of you.” Trevor’s hands were moving backwards and grasping around Alucard’s neck.
He sobbed when he felt Alucard’s arms come around him. He was aware that Alucard was crying too.
“Please…”
“I can’t promise that I’ll get better.”
“I know. But give yourself a chance. Let yourself try.”
“…And you’ll stay with me.”
“After everything that just happened, does it seem like I’m going to let you out of my sight.”
He heard Alucard let out a choked laugh and held him tighter.
“I’m not going anywhere, Adrian. And neither are you, agreed?”
“Agreed… I suppose I should say thank you…”
“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just get some rest. And you better be here when I wake up Adrian Tepes because I swear to god-” Trevor cut himself off as Alucard started laughing.
He shuffled back and pulled Alucard down with him onto the bed.
“Rest, Adrian. I’ll be here when you wake.”
“As will I.”
#trevor belmont#trevorcard#castlevania#castlevania netflix#adrian tepes#idk if thats the most popular tag for alucard but eh#my writing#mine#my fics
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Recap/review 14.13: “Lebanon”
THEN: They hit me right in the face with gorgeous young 1.01 Dean saying "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and beautiful baby 1.01 Sam saying "we've got work to do" and we end with 14.12 and Sam furiously punching his brother and then furiously hugging him and Dean saying "let's go home" and does anything else matter? No.
NOW: We see the reflection of Sam and Dean walking up to a pawn shop, with a nice selection of guitars and sunglasses and that weird monkey that was in Rocky's Bar. The proprietor seems friendly enough. Dean flashes him a wad of hundred dollar bills because they're looking for "the really good stuff." This gains them admittance into a secret back room full of things hunters would be interested in, including a hockey mask (?) and a perfume atomizer full of dragon's breath. They tell the guy they're looking for the skull of a specific woman who was executed during the Salem witch trials, and the fact that he has it basically proves that he killed the friend of theirs who previously owned it. (Also Sam picks up a teddy bear and starts to pull the string to make it speak and the guys warns him not to and this is Dean's role, isn't it, messing with things he shouldn't be messing with? But I don't care because chastized Sam and eye-rolly Dean are precious to me.)
Sam goes through a ledger of the guy's inventory and says he's got a lot of occult objects that they should take with them. (Dean plays with the dragon's breath. Sam ducks and flinches and does the really, Dean? thing with his hands and face. I laugh again.) Dean agrees they should take the stuff home.
Title card!
The Impala zooms past a sign welcoming us to Lebanon, Geographical Center of the USA. Then we find ourselves in front of a movie theater showing Beetlejuice and Hell Hazers (All Saints' Day is coming soon, and I imagine Route 666 can't be far behind), where a group of teenagers is talking about... somebody. "People say they're brothers," a kid in a knit cap says, "but all I know is, I was standing right here, and I heard this bam from the trunk of their car. And then, this like, shallow breathing." I'm pretty sure this is a fake-out, and it will turn out he's talking about someone else, but the Impala pulls up in front of the theater and Knit Cap Kid says "that's them!"
As the Winchesters get out of the car and enter a liquor store (decorated with that Family Business neon sign from Rocky's), Sam is still reading the ledger, which lists things like a hangman's rope, fairy dust, and John Wayne Gacy's cigar box. Well, that's oddly specific! The guy working there greets the "Campbell brothers" and knows their usual order. Oh, wow. I love that they're actually known in Lebanon, and that they're going by Campbell. And we know that actual Lebanon, Kansas is too small to have a movie theater or this much business downtown, but I'm happy to handwave that.
What do you mean, "happy to handwave that?" You're always complaining about the inaccuracies regarding tiny Lebanon having traffic cams and whatnot.
Well, maybe this episode just MAKES ME HAPPY, okay?
Anyway. Sam thinks cataloguing the confiscated items would be a good way to take Dean's mind off "things," but Dean's pretty convinced nothing will ever take his mind off that.
Outside, the teens are asking where the guys even come from, and what about their weird trenchcoat-wearing sidekick, and "that kid with the dumb Bambi look on his face all the time" (!) One girl says that, whatever the deal is with these guys, they do have an awesome car, and no one can argue with that. And the other girl, Max, who seems to smitten with the first girl, gets an idea.
Inside, Sam has discovered something significant in the ledger - the "beyzoo" (no, I know that's not how you spell it), which is one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. A pearl that gives you "what your heart desires." Oooh, getting rid of Michael, maybe? But as the guys are discussing this, Dean sees the Impala drive by the window. Guess Max figured out how to impress that other girl! (BTW, there are couple of COOL old trucks on the street.)
The guys see Knit Cap Kid standing on the sidewalk looking confused, and while Sam tells him the car is dangerous to whoever stole it, Dean looks like he wants to murder someone. And yet the Winchesters are confused when the kid says he doesn't want to die. (Or get locked in the trunk!) He says Max is new and he doesn't know where she lives. Dean raises a fist, but Sam pulls him away.
MURDER. I'D MURDER THEM.
Post office. There's a poster of stamps featuring old cars behind the customer service counter. I'm really getting my old truck fix tonight. Sam comes in with his sweet anxious smile and asks for help finding the girl who washed his car, since he forgot to tip her. Post Office Lady is not amused or helpful, or the least bit swayed by his sweet anxious smile. Then Dean comes in and calls her by name and asks about her grandson and she MELTS and he gets sincere and puts his hand on hers and she does exactly what I would do, which is offer up ANYTHING YOU WANT, ANYTHING AT ALL, WOULD YOU LIKE MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WHILE I'M AT IT? Unfortunately, all she knows is where Max's mother works.
SAM’S FACE.
(Sidebar: Have I mentioned that Sam is wearing that nice blue jacket from the episode where he killed the alpha vampire? I like it. Toss that stupid orange jacket, Sam, and wear this more often. And Dean's wearing the black jacket that I always love.)
At the restaurant where Max's mom works, we learn that she has no idea where her daughter is, because she was supposed to be in school. But the guy working in the kitchen knows February 7 is Skip Day (is it always February 7? what about when that falls on a weekend?) and that she'll probably be at a party at this old house on Route 36. (Yes, I did confirm that Route 36 is just outside of Lebanon. Yes, I did use Mapquest. I'm old school up in here, y'all.)
Party house. The little batch of delinquents has taken all the boxes of occult objects out of the Impala for some reason. Including the evil teddy bear. Luckily, someone announces "pizza's here" before a girl pulls the teddy bear's string. At some point I've got to find out what would happen if you pulled it. Fic it for me, friends! (Also, I just noticed the teddy bear's mouth is SEWN SHUT and that's not creepy AT ALL.) The camera slowly pans to a wooden box, and we watch the lid open to reveal a smoky/dusty ghost hand. With a ruffled sleeve. Uh oh.
Knit Cap Kid runs in to warn the partiers that "those guys" are looking for Max, and he's told to chill. Another teen goes into the bathroom, where the mirror frosts over and then the CREEPIEST CLOWN EVER comes out of it. Seriously, creepier than the clown in Plush, which you wouldn't think was possible.
The Winchesters pull up in yet another antique truck, where Dean greets his car with "Baby, Baby, please tell me you're not hurt." Sam's more concerned about the boxes of dangerous occult objects missing from the back seat. Ghost Kid comes running outside and the girl following him tells the brothers that he saw a clown ghost that tried to kill him. Maybe it's my imagination, or maybe Sam has a flash of crap, a killer clown ghost expression before they run into the house.
Dean announces they're FBI and everyone needs to get out, now. Once the room is cleared, he asks if "anything screams clown to you?" Sam immediately notices John Wayne Gacy's cigar box and guys, I'm ashamed to say I didn't put the two together until now. The killer clown ghost is John Wayne Gacy. And Sam is freaked the fuck out about it. "We should burn that right now," Dean says, in a lovely holding-in-the-freakout way, and Sam rushes to throw it into the fireplace. Then Dean says "I mean, this is like a best worst thing that's ever happened, because you love serial killers, but you hate clowns" and I'm DEAD. (I'm also loving TWO gifts from the Continuity Fairy in once sentence.) The lights start flashing before Sam can get his lighter lit, and then the killer clown ghost shows up and tosses Dean around. Knit Cap Kid and the girls run back inside just in time to watch John Wayne Gacy's ghost go up in flames. So the kids get the "monsters are real" speech and are told to keep it secret.
Back at the bunker, Sam's going through the occult goodies and thinks he found the magic pearl. Dean's ready to use it right now, and dismisses Sam's suggestion that they call Mary or Cas. If it doesn't work, he doesn't want to have gotten their hopes up. Sam looks distressed at the idea it won't work, but agrees. The pearl doesn't come with any instructions, so Sam suggests Dean hold it and concentrate on what his heart desires. "Michael out of my head," Dean says, and I'd have been more specific. I'd have concentrated on Michael out of my head and destroyed, and me perfectly fine, but, well, what do I know?
(Also, I KNOW all you Wincest and Destiel fans are gonna have your own ideas about what - or who - appears in front of Dean when he’s granted what his heart desires. This setup is better than sex pollen. Have fun, my kinky little friends.)
Dean clutches the pearl and concentrates, and the lights flash and then go out, and in the red emergency light we see someone in the bunker. Someone fighty, who knocks both brothers down and then pulls out a shotgun and says "don't you move," but it's a familiar voice and then the lights come on and what do you know? Winchester Surprise!
So, was anybody truly surprised? I covered the guest stars on first viewing, as I always try to do, but I noticed on rewatch that they didn't even credit JDM at the beginning of the episode. Which they sometimes do, to avoid spoilers. And yet. Has there been a single episode of this series that was more spoiled? I don't think so.
(Sidebar: What do you think would have happened if Sam had taken the pearl and made a wish? I think Michael would be gone. Because I don't think there's anything Sam wants more than saving his brother.)
Back to our story. Everyone is shocked. John thinks Sam should be in Palo Alto, apparently in his 14th year of post graduate work. He thinks he's still in 2003, and he doesn't notice his boys are older. And they apparently don't notice that his hair is very short and a lot greyer than it was when we last saw him. (I mean, really, they slapped a wig on Samantha Smith to make her look like The Last Version Of Mary, so why couldn't they do the same thing with JDM? It's distracting.) Sam figures they must have accidentally summoned John from the past. So they do what one does in this situation - sit down and drink.
John's astonished. Dean's proud. Sam's visibly anxious. We don't get to see exactly how much of the backstory they tell him, but they do tell him about the apocalypse and Lucifer and living with "an angel and Lucifer's kid." And now John thinks he died "taking out Yellow Eyes," which... not really? But okay. And they don't tell him Mary's back, until he mentions her and Sam's, all, yeah, about Mom, and then she comes in and John hears her voice and tears up and dammit. This reunion is everything I didn't think I ever wanted. I mean, I've made no secret of the fact that I'm not a fan of John Winchester. He's a fascinating character and JDM does a great job with him, but he's such an awful father (don't bother arguing with me, you will not change my mind) that I can't really like him. And I'm not too impressed with resurrected Mary, either. But when these two come together... damn. It's good. It's very good. Well done, you two.
I love that the boys give them some privacy, because it's been over a decade since John saw them, but it's been even longer since he saw his dead wife, and this should really be a John and Mary reunion.
Out in the hall, Dean's gleeful and Sam's all, how the hell did this happen? Dean explains that he's wanted this since he was four years old (oh, my heart) but Sam warns that messing with time will not end well. I don't actually remember Sam being that concerned about the unintended consequences of time travel, but I'm sure there's a good reason he's bringing it up now. Dean doesn't care. Dean just wants one family dinner together (oh, my heart again, remembering his one last dinner with Mary).
Sam, sans Dean, runs into John in the library, because Mary's off making a shopping list and he decided he'd rather examine the bunker than be involved in that I guess? Okay. But then this happens.
I screwed up with you a lot, didn't I?
No, that's okay.
No, it's not. Sammy, tell me the truth.
I don't want to talk about that.
You didn't have a problem talking about it before you left.
Dad. For me, that fight, that was a lifetime ago. I don't even remember what I said. I mean, yeah, you know, you did some messed-up things. But I don't... I mean, when I think about you... and I think about you a lot... I don't think about our fights. I think about you... I think about you on the floor of that hospital, and I think about how I never got to say goodbye.
Sam. Son. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry too. But you did your best, Dad. You fought for us, and you loved us. And that's enough.
OH MY GOD. This is everything I ever wanted.
1. John admitting he was a crap parent to Sam.
2. Sam trying to sidestep that - because he's Sam Winchester and that's what he does - and John not letting him.
3. Sam finally calling him out instead of just saying nah, it's fine.
4. John calling him Sammy.
5. Sam pointing out that he didn't get a goodbye from John. (Did he ever find out that Dean got praise and an apology?)
6. John apologizing.
7. Sam forgiving him.
8. "And I think about you a lot."
9. The way Sam keeps having to stop talking and look away and make that little "hmmm" noise.
10. And the tears.
10b. The way Sam tears up even before The Talk, when he remembers them as kids trying to make Winchester Surprise.
11. The shaky voice.
12. And Sam's shirt.
13. And the way Sam's expression looks so much like his expression in Sacrifice, when he tells Dean that his confession was about how he let his brother down.
This, right here, is two minutes and 24 seconds of the best television I've ever seen. I don't care what else this episode does, this 2:24 is worth it. And yes, this is three weeks in a row that Jared Padalecki has ripped my heart out of my chest and STOMPED ON IT.
And I love it.
Meanwhile, Dean gets the shopping list from Mary. Sam finds him and tells him he's right, because Sam also just got everything he ever wanted, and then offers to go shopping with him. (Saaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm!!!!!!!)
When they get to town, the guys split up - Sam to the grocery store, Dean to the liquor store. Dean's surprised to see the liquor store guy, the one who remembered his "usual" earlier in the day, has no idea who he is. If Dean had ever seen "It's a Wonderful Life," he might say this is just like when George Bailey goes into Martini's Bar and isn't recognized. But apparently Dean Winchester, pop culture aficionado, has never seen that movie (no, I haven't gotten over that, and I never will) so he doesn't recognize a classic uh oh, we changed the course of history moment when he experiences it.
Meanwhile, Sam steps out of the grocery store and finds that neither Max nor the postal clerk recognize him. And then he sees a wanted poster in the post office window. Dean Winchester, wanted for assault, murder, and credit card fraud. Whoops! He trots to the car, where Dean is waiting, and tells him they have a problem. "Yeah, we do," says Dean. "Check this out."
He shows Sam his phone and it's a video of SAM IN GLASSES AND A BLACK TURTLENECK AND SLICKED BACK HAIR GIVING A TED TALK. HE RUNS A LAW FIRM AND LOVES KALE. IT IS THE SECOND MOST AMAZING THING I'VE SEEN TONIGHT.
HE'S STEVE JOBS.
So, those of you who were spoiled... did you know about this? Or did they actually keep THIS AMAZING THING under wraps?
Sam Jobs tells his audience that being your best leaves no time for hobbies or a family, and Sam has seen enough. He tells Dean about the wanted poster, and Dean says yes, of course he googled himself too ("a lot of beheadings," hee!!!) and wonders if there are alternate versions of them running around. Sam thinks it's a "temporal paradox," and time is self-correcting, changing to the new one. If they don't fix things, they'll become those alternate versions of themselves. "Well, I'm cool," Dean says, "but you're, ugh." Sam's less worried about them, and more worried about what else might have changed.
(Sidebar: You know, I could quibble about why bringing John forward in time has such a significant butterfly effect, but bringing Mary back, and their other time travel, and Henry's time travel, changed nothing. I absolutely could. But I choose not to, because SAM JOBS, Y'ALL. But okay, let's think about it. 2003 John would have disappeared while Sam was at Stanford. Dean wouldn't have gone to get Sam. Or Sam would have refused to go. Maybe the hurt on both sides was still too fresh. Maybe that's why Dean's hunting alone, and Sam's an internet-famous lawyer.)
What else has changed, you might ask? How about ZACHARIAH? That's right, my favorite angel is back. And with him is ORIGINAL FLAVOR CAS WITH HIS FLUFFY HAIR AND THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. Zachariah calls him "Constantine" and Castiel says "I don't understand that reference" and THANK YOU BABY JESUS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS, BUT THANK YOU. They enter Max's mom's restaurant and ask who's been messing with time. (Because she would know?) And if they don't start talking, he'll have Cas murder all of them. "My name is Castiel," he intones solemnly. "I'm an angel of the Lord." YES YOU ARE. He reveals himself like he did to Dean (no, not like that, jeez) with the shadow wings. Outside, the Winchesters see the bright light of an angelic reveal coming through the restaurant windows, and they know something's up.
They herd everyone out of the restaurant, and are shocked to see Cas and Zachariah. Zachariah is equally surprised to see them. He says they had big plans for the Winchesters, but then their father disappeared and... and he doesn't finish, so we'll never know why yoinking John out of 2003 changed any of that vessel stuff. (Handwave!) Cas, of course, doesn't know them, and when Zachariah orders him to kill them, he complies.
Dean pulls out an angel blade but is, of course, unwilling to actually kill Cas, so he starts hitting him with other things. And Cas, for whatever reason, doesn't just put a finger on his forehead and kill him dead. (Handwave!) Zachariah chokes Sam and asks him what they did, even though he can't talk because he's choking (handwave!) and Sam acts like he's trying to speak so Zachariah gets closer to hear him, and Sam stabs him with an angel blade. Cas continues fistfighting with both of them, and slams Sam head-first into a table a couple of times, leaving him spitting blood on the floor. Which Sam uses to paint an angel-banishing sigil while Cas is choking Dean. Smart Sam for the win!
Bunker. Pretty bruised Dean has explained the temporal paradox, and John accepts that he has to go back, or else Mary will probably disappear. "Okay," he says. "I mean, me versus your mom, that's not even a choice." DAMMIT JOHN WINCHESTER DO NOT MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOU. Elsewhere, pretty bruised Sam explains it to Mary, and tells her John won't remember anything.
John tells Dean he never meant Dean to have this kind of life. He's proud of him, but he hoped he'd be able to have a normal life, with a family. "I have a family," Dean says. They sit down and have one final family meal together, and everyone's quiet and sad until John points out that they can either think about what's going to happen, or appreciate what they have right now. They cheer up and listen to Bob Seger (well, we listen to Bob Seger) and talk and laugh and have the family dinner Dean has always wanted.
Later, while doing the dishes, Sam says how unfair it is that they all had this and then have to throw it away, and John has to go back to being Dad. He thinks it would be nice for John to go back knowing what he knows now. "I used to think that too," Dean says, and admits that he's blamed both John and Mary for their crappy lives. And if they could send him back to 2003, or even earlier, maybe none of the crap would happen. "But here's the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I gotta be honest, I don't know who that Dean Winchester is. And I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are."
Later. Mary and John are holding hands, and I guess they're doing the thing now. I'd hoped they'd at least let these two have one last roll in the hay (especially since I'm pretty sure Mobby is permanently done after this), but no. They have a very sweet goodbye and their sons are brokenhearted and I am too. John tells his boys to take care of each other and Sam says "we always do." That's a nice change from telling Dean to take care of Sam, isn't it? He tells them both (BOTH) that he's proud of them and loves them, and they have a three-way hug and Sam wipes his eyes and Dean says "love you too" and I REALLY CAN'T, BOYS, YOU HAVE TO STOP. Then John takes Mary's hand again and Sam crushes the pearl (why does Sam have to be the one to do it?) and John glows and then fades away.
We get a quick glimpse of downtown Lebanon returning to normal, and the three teens talking about how cool it is that "those guys hunt monsters," and then we're back to the bunker. Cas walks in the door and sees the remaining Winchesters, obviously distressed, and asks what happened. "Well, there's a story," says Dean.
And finally, we see the Impala WITH HER ORIGINAL KANSAS PLATE. John's asleep in the driver's seat when he gets a phone call from Dean. "No, I'm okay, I just had one hell of a dream. No, it was a good one."
GUYS. GUYS.
When I heard there was going to be a musical episode for the 200th, I was sure it would suck. When I heard about the Scooby Doo crossover, I cringed, because I knew it would be awful. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO WRONG.
Eh, who cares why. Let's just appreciate what we were given. Happy 300, my friends. Here's to 300 more.
(Please help me stay unspoiled for future episodes, thanks!)
#spn#recap#tv recaps#14.13#things that make my heart hurt#sam winchester#dean winchester#john winchester#mary winchester
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Existential Nihilism
So when we talk about existential nihilism, we are addressing a fundamental core principle that underlies all of the seemingly different schools of nihilism. To me, honestly, despite the treatment I've given to these categories, I find it sort of silly and absurd that nihilism has been broken up and classified in a fragmented manner as such; as if the deconstruction of the various different inventory items of existence deserve their own distinctions. To me, this is the result of the work of non-nihilists; as, the true nihilist wouldn't have any such purpose for constructing these differentiations; the motivation, of such, being contrary to the very cause of nihilism in the first place.
The nihilist's mission is to uncover the truth of existence, and does so by means of stripping away all that is part of the facade, in order to reveal that which is rudimentary essence, aka the truth, or, the reality, and not illusion. We can draw the line of the true and the untrue at the event horizon of awareness. We are that, which precedes the event horizon of awareness. Beyond this horizon, is all collapsed wave function. It's hard to even begin to be able to realize and understand this line, because the attention is trained to not recognize it; to gloss over it with default oversight, the crux of the conditioning, and to remain stuck on the perceptibles.
And incidentally, this is the same kind of conditional lock that prevents one from realizing the nature of a dream whilst they are dreaming, which prevents lucidity and keeps the clarity of awareness in a fog, until after one has awoken. And I know that, even with this reference, not many have a experiential understanding of dream lucidity, but, even without such clarity, at the very least we can understand that a dream is not an actual reality, but a construct of an imagination. The dream experience is therefor an existential medium, hence, the only real reality is the awareness; which is the same again and again, in countless dreams. In other words, in the dream, what was real, was not the persona, the narrative, the perceptions, the feelings, other beings, animals or creatures, or even the world; it was always, and always will be, just the awareness.
And so, why is this common every day realization about the nature of dreams so difficult to carry over into the context of the so called “waking state?”, Because the attention is getting stuck on perceivables, and as such, the truth of reality becomes un-clarified. It's very hard to refocus the attention when its committed and heavily invested in identifications and associations, aka attachments. But let's look into these binding ties that anchor the awareness in the illusion.
We identify with the world, but the world does not make us what we are, as evidenced by the fact that we could feasibly be put into another world and still be the same person. So you are not the world or any environment.
So what about our thoughts, ideas and concepts? Are we our thinking minds? You have plenty of intellectual data in stored in your brain, but does any of it make you who you are, really? Some may argue that it does, but this is more conditioning, more identification by attachment. You could drop plenty of ideas and still be you. You could change your thoughts and still be you. You could rearrange, add or remove your concepts and still be you. So you are not your thoughts, ideas and concepts.
Maybe we are the perceptual senses? Everything we can speak about is the result of either sight smell hearing taste or touch, so perhaps our identities can be defined by perception? For those who identify as such, I strongly recommend sensory deprivation tanks. After some experience with these you will soon know first hand that you are not the senses, as also further evidenced by a blind man, or a deaf person. The adding or removal of any sensory instrument does not make us any more or less ourselves.
Ok, so what about our feelings and emotions? Do these solidify some kind of identity? How so, when again, feelings and emotions come and go, change, and fluctuate constantly, none of them ever remaining constant, and yet we still remain who we are throughout them all, so we are not our feelings and emotions.
What about our families, our names our ancestral lineage and bloodlines? Does this define us? This is yet another association. We would not still be who we are even if our family was removed? Would we become something else if we changed our name? If we woke up tomorrow in some other person's life on the other side of the world, would we not still be an individual? So we are not our families or lineage.
Then, of course, comes the physical body. Surely, if anything, we must be the physical body, no? How so exactly? If we removed your foot, would you still be you? What about your hand? Or your liver? Or your left buttock? If you are still you despite the removal of various body parts or organs, then obviously you cannot be the physical body either.
Then so, finally, what about the consciousness, aka the ego, or the persona? Without a doubt, this MUST be what we are. What else is left? The consciousness could be said to be the culmination of all the identifications and associations combined, what we sum up to be a self by adding the world, our thoughts, our perceptions, our emotions, our family history, and our physical bodies together. We call being aware of this confection the consciousness, but if none of the components of this culmination are a true self, then how could the amalgamation of these components be a true self either? By assuming such, we've only just made the ego that much more difficult to untangle. But untangling the persona is crucial to self recognition. And how is this done?
Deconstruction. Subtraction. Detachment. Reduction. Emptying. Nihilism. Destroying untruths, and tearing down false foundations.
When you have disassociated and un-identified with all of the false veneers, you will have arrived at that which could be called the true self; the actual reality, that, which is always so, that, which you are. Pure potentiality. This is the superpositional substratum upon which all distinctions of self awareness are produced. This is why, from this space of clear open awareness, it can be clearly known that, value, meaning and purpose, are existential, and not otherwise. And to further clarify existentiality, this means that these features are created aspects that only have a setting within the momentary facets of being. This is the truth of reality, and yet this truth is called nihilism. Why?
Because of the apparent disapproval of control freaks and dogma defenders, that don't want you to free yourself from your mind enslavement. People are so much easier to manipulate and command when they assume, in ignorance, that value, meaning, and purpose are pre-existing factors that one must find, and then adhere to. And don't worry, you won't have to look very far to find them; for there are plenty of leaches lined up, ready to usher you into a nice little role of subservient obedience; where you will be in the perfect position to be commanded, and used for the greedy selfish purposes of power hungry resource pigs. So fear not; if you are unwilling to create your own value, meaning and purpose, one will be happily supplied to you. If you find the notion of value meaning and purpose not being objective depressing, relax, one can be penetrated into you.
But, if you are one of the few among us that doesn't have a problem with the truth of existentiality, then know that your source is potentiality, your destination is potentiality, and whatever comes in between is completely up to you. You come from nothing, are headed towards nothing, so any value, meaning or purpose that arise, are going to be a result of your own directed action, duty, dedication, and responsibility. Meanings are not derived from theoretical philosophy, but a consequence of function and interaction. When it is said that value, meaning and purpose are not intrinsic or inherent, this is only true insomuch as it applies to value, meaning and purpose residing objectively. Value meaning and purpose are, in fact, inherent and intrinsic, but only so contextually; that is to say, relatively and subjectively so.
And I know why this prospect is daunting and undesirable to most people, for the realization that life is without meaning, purpose and value to be found pre-existing, means that, of itself, life is pretty absurd, and can be outright maddening; if one is searching for such engagements externally, which will often lead to angst and utter despondency in the face of the futility and pointlessness of it all. But it is only futile and pointless because you have invested in value judgements based on misplaced assumptions and erroneous conclusions. Drop them.
What other kind of validation do your values, meanings and purposes need, beyond your own commitment to them? For an atheist, I can't see where any of this causes an issue. If there is no god, then whereof would any of these aspects be derived? The only real people that this would seem to cause a problem for, would be theists. People that are obsessively worried about god, and the possibility that they wouldn't be serving and obeying him properly by not blindly following words in a book written by men of antiquity. What else could it be? I know, I know. You wanna be good and make it into heaven. How profoundly deep of you. But understand this: if you are good because of the promise of reward. or the threat of punishment, you are not good for the right reasons. There is no sky daddy out there to give a blowjob to, so get over it. Take responsibility for your own existence.
There doesn't need to be emotional anguish over the fact that there isn't any objective force out there supplying value, meaning and purpose. This agency is found within yourself, and can become a great wellspring of inspiration towards defining your own value, purpose and meaning. But, just keep in mind that creating your own value, purpose and meaning isn't an indication that your value, purpose and meaning are necessarily justified, and this is why we do need a very simple universal moral compass, despite morality also being a construct; it doesn't automatically follow that creating value purpose and meaning that victimizes other sentience is permissible. It isn't. This is why we shouldn't look past the importance of the existential agency of the entire nihilistic foundation, and understand that, in the face of paradoxical absurdity, it is up to you to define, and make of yourself, what you will; for no amount of external searching will amount to more then quiet desperation and frustrating futility; but, despite the lack of objective supplementation, creating your own intentions within nothingness isn't a license to violate another existential agency.
If you can figure out why this is, as it is an absolute moral distinction relative to sentience, that no existential consciousness wants to be victimized against their will, then you will have a less difficult journey ahead, and will be doing your part to bring peace and harmony to our shared existential paradigm.
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