Wouldn't do any more future lovejoy/wilbur soot inspired works, my heart and support goes out for Shelby

Over Casca’s naked body

Part one: A long premise

We can’t escape from our geopolitical context even when we are reading manga. We have internalized a good amount of beliefs, values, practices, even regulations from our lived experiences and various simulacra we have been exposed to, especially those in an audiovisual form.

If you grew up in the US, you know that freedom of speech is a core value there. But, while you can say mostly whatever you want within your own country, the US constitution has given the government the right to regulate what comes in from abroad. [1]

And that power has been used. Idealistically, greater access to common technologies even before the internet should have seen a redistribution of the media-creating capacity to many foreign countries outside of the US, so that people could tell their stories. But that hasn’t always been the case, with some exceptions, especially if we consider the biggest narratives that reached global popularity.

During the Cold War, anything that might be considered “communist propaganda” could be seized by the Post Office and never delivered. Books or even souvenirs from communist countries, for instance. Pamphlets criticizing US foreign policy. (…) Obviously it wasn’t totally like North Korea, plenty of foreign movies and music were allowed into the US. But the media that caught on was either already Americanized, or so plastically exotic that it doesn’t really say anything about the culture where it is from. The Beatles were British, but they got their start covering American rock and roll musicians. When John Lennon stepped out of the line, the American government made sure that he knew it. Movies imported from Japan were mostly samurai flicks, with very few movies set in the modern day. The film Ikiru is widely considered the best Japanese film ever made (…) but this existential drama about a depressed lonely man was only given a limited release in California, and the poster was edited to feature a stripper who is only in the movie for one minute. The narrow stream of European movies that made into the USA came in the form of the French New Wave cinema, movies that were stylistically inspired by American films, but also so stuffy that few audiences would ever want to watch them anyway. This was further stifled by the Hays Code, a set of extremely strict regulations that were in place from 1934 to 1968. (…) Some things that were completely banned from ever being shown in any film included: bad guys winning. All movies must end with the police outwitting the evil criminals, or the criminals causing their own demise. Any nudity. (…) Blood or dead bodies. (…) Interracial couples. White people as slaves. Criticism of religion, or of any other country. Naturally this prevented the more artistically liberal European films from being shown in American cinemas and when they did get a release, they were usually edited (…). At least until the rules were abolished in 1968 and replaced by the age rating system we have today. [1]

Even after several decades of access to the internet and foreign cultures, some attitudes have been internalized and carried on. For example, I had direct experience of the ways my own culture has been perceived and stereotyped or interpreted in terms not dissimilar from the exotic. And the same happens to me probably if I don’t keep in check my own personal beliefs about cultures that have been presented to me in similar ways. And I was surprised to see by how deeply rooted and spread are certain attitudes towards punishment or violent retribution viewed as necessary, the policing and self policing, and the expression of judgments or condemnation, and all this can complicate the understanding of different forms of narratives and the acceptance of different cultural attitudes and norms, without the expression of any opinion about morality or legitimacy.

I am reminding you that this is a long premise because I evidently don’t have the gift of brevity but this article is about Berserk and Casca.

In 1956 Anna Magnani won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her first English-speaking role in the American movie The Rose Tattoo. In 1958 Miyoshi Umeki was the first Asian born actress to win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in Sayonara, a movie that despite its title was an American drama starring Marlon Brando. It isn’t hard to see in these decisions from the Academy, or the ones that followed in other categories, the willingness to build relationships between the US and specific foreign countries where the American army had a massive presence and that after WWII were ideal places for American investors, considering significant rebuilding necessary after the loss in the war. The movie industry and everything around it had instrumental roles. When it comes to the Academy Award, it is very interesting to notice that the women were the first ones to be nominated, becoming ambassadors and facilitators of the reshaping of the images of Italy and Japan from enemies to new essential strategic allies in the Cold War. And here comes the problem of the exotic, because after several decades I still see similarities in the American perception of those foreign cultures, Italian and Japanese, to those easy and friendly and intentionally constructed imaginaries of that time. Take the press around Anna Magnani or Miyoshi Umeki for example. Terms are so widely used and repeated that they are still in their Wikipedia pages in English today. For what interests me here, I am going to quote or summarize parts of the video essay listed below as [2] but I really recommend watching it entirely. It really helped me understand some of the issues I am talking about here, but it is much more than just this. And there is footage worth the time. [I know that many people here on tumblr really dislike YouTube videos. I understand why, when it comes to manga and anime, written articles have still better quality and content, in my opinion, but there are also many video essayists doing their due diligence on several other topics. And when I am busy cooking I put them on].

In the 1950s one of the problem with the new alliance with Japan was the widespread hate and racism towards Japanese people.

The government stepped in, producing educational films meant to endear Japanese culture to Americans (…) They showed off Japanese industry, introduced Americans to sushi and sumo wrestling, explained the country’s new democratic system et cetera. (…) A lot of [musical] acts that were popular with American soldiers, specifically exoticized Asian girls bands, like the Kim sisters and the Tokyo Happycoats, come over to the US and appear on television as both entertainment and a sort of cultural ambassadors, not only demonstrating America’s cultural power and dominance by performing recognizable American tunes, but also signaling to white Americans that those cultures didn’t pose a threat. (…)

It’s worth looking at this film [Sayonara] as part of a larger theme in a very specific post war moment. Gina Marchetti points out in her book Romance and the yellow peril: «Between June 22, 1947, and December 31, 1952, 10517 American citizens, principally Armed Services Personnel, married Japanese women. Over 75% of the total Americans are Caucasian». Meaning, Japanese war brides and the concept of interracial marriages was very much a conversation. (…) Sayonara must be seen as one of many films which called for a new evaluation of Japan as an enemy nation. (…) Much of the way [Miyoshi Umeki] was discussed is probably exactly how you might expect. The language journalists used to describe her was unambiguously racialized and often condescending. In the aftermath of her Oscar win, for example, Louella Parsons called her «a lovely little bit of Japanese porcelain», adding: «What a cute little thing she was in her native costume». Still, her Japanese identity also seemed to serve as a symbol, an embodiment of the new friendly Japan. In Miyoshi, Americans would find an idealized portrait of reconciliation, a woman who bore no resentment over the war, a woman who brought homesick American troops to tears by singing White Christmas, who adored American pizza, who learned English by listening to American records. She was accepted because she actively appreciated and participated in American culture. [2]

The roles offered to Miyoshi Umeki are significant in many ways. After Sayonara, she was cast to play other Asian characters besides Japanese ones. One recurring theme in those movies in particular is the contrast between modernity and tradition.

William G. Hyland writes, Flower Drum Song is a «clash between the Americanized lifestyle of the young Chinese and the traditions of their parents». (…) Miyoshi Umeki plays Mei Lee, a Chinese stowaway who arrives in the US for an arranged marriage. The more Americanized she becomes the more independent, the more willing she is to strike out on her own. [Chang-Hee] Kim writes: «[Flower Drum Song] flamboyantly shows that Asians in America were ready and willing to cast off their heritage and become real Americans in repudiation of the pre-war racial consideration of Asians as permanent aliens». I mention this not only because it’s one of Miyoshi’s major roles, but also because this theme, a supposed enlightenment via westernization, occurs again and again in her filmography, particularly in her work on television. Han [?] writes «Umeki’s representation on television is in constant oscillation between her status as a subservient Asian woman and her transformation into an assertive, modern female professional who has achieved independence through American cultural influence». [2]

Bear with me for a little longer if you can, because we are at the point where, watching the video, I experienced that sensation better translated visually in a lightbulb being turned on. I am skipping here the presentation of the story and footage from Miyoshi’s first appearance on television in The Donna Reed Show, but I once again invite readers to watch the video, which features high quality original footage. I was really struck by the “sensitive way” the American woman - Donna Reed I presumed - approaches the character played by Miyoshi, as the writers back then were well aware of the sensitive racial implications, and nevertheless a certain mentality pushes thought. Watching still, it is easier to avoid the presumption that in the 1960s “they didn’t know better” or that contemporary attitudes have improved greatly, just because we are more careful about the language we use.

The thesis statement of this episode is not subtle. The rejection of traditional Japanese customs allows her to live more fully in a democracy. Of course it isn’t really much of a choice, is it. Maintaining the customs of your culture or risking alienating your entire community. She changes her clothes, puts on a hat and goes shopping because she is an American now. Obviously these stories are told from the white American perspective, where this rejection of tradition and culture is portrayed as unambiguously positive and relatively tension free. This was not the case in Japan where the relationship between modernity and tradition were richly explored in cinema, particularly in women’s films. [2]

I would like to add that the independence that Donna’s character shows is only possible because of a series of factors, including the fact that her husband secures her a higher level of comforts, in comparison with lower classes or non-white Americans, and that domestic work is presumably done by home electrical appliances or other women, especially when you add child care and looking after the elderly to the equation. The unwillingness to consider those types of labor, traditionally carried on by women, as of equal importance to any other jobs is rarely discussed when it comes to the issue of women’s emancipation. Not to mention how, alongside this idyllic world shown on television, in the same country large numbers of women have to deal with continuous push backs in the name of different traditional values that all the same prevent many of them from achieving true equality. Those types of conversation and conflicts between traditional and modern happens at the same time in many countries and in most cases translates to continuous negotiations and compromises carried by men and women in real contexts and real situations, without necessarily white American women being aware of it or of all the necessary nuances.

Let me add this last element of conclusion about Miyoshi Umeki’s story.

In 2018 her son told Entertainment Weekly that in the 1970s she etched out her name on her Oscar and then threw the trophy away. Although he isn’t sure exactly why she did it he said: «She told me, I know who I am and I know what I did. It was a point of hers to teach me a lesson that the material things are not who she was». What Miyoshi Umeki achieved is pretty remarkable but one can’t help but feel that she could probably have done a lot more if she’d been allowed to move beyond her identity. [2]

Part two: Are we reading the same manga?

After considering all this, and more that I can possibly include in here to avoid this being even lengthier, I can’t help but wonder about the generalizations I have seen repeated vastly about portrayals of women in Japanese media, as well as misunderstanding of cultural attitudes towards nudity or the treatment of sensitive topics like sexuality and rape. There is a diffuse certain sense of entitlement, sometimes you can hear a condescending tone even, and this isn’t limited to the US. But why approach a foreign culture with a patronizing attitude instead of trying to understand the context more deeply? So many manga readers are willing to ask for clarification on translations, but not many ask about the context or the visual aspects involved in manga writing. I like to read analysis about different topics, so I look for them in English too because they are very numerous and easily accessible, but when it comes to the critique about the portrayal of women in too many cases I have to click away because of too many bias or that subtle sense of superiority of judgment. Berserk has become easily accessible and more and more popular but it is so greatly misunderstood at various degrees by a lot of its western readers - me included - and I really wanted to understand what is preventing, in most cases, a textual and contextual analysis.

The Hays Code hasn’t been around since 1968 but the sentiment that the only proper conclusion for every story is the triumph of the good guys and the punishment for the wicked is very much alive and well. There is this conviction that the only clever readers are those able to separate the heroes from the villains, or the good deeds from evil, and root for the right side to achieve retribution and satisfaction. The Hays Code hasn’t been enforced officially but it’s there in essence and every counter narrative has been rendered almost ineffective or judged poorly. As for the treatment of women, I don’t feel like we can honestly and surely compare or scrutinize Japanese media under special lenses. Nudity in comic books seems to me to be very common outside of Japan too, depending on censorship rules. I certainly notice how frequently Casca is shown naked or has been threatened with sexual violence, but I also notice that she isn’t the only one. The exaggeration of Guts’ muscles and the mutilation of his body are largely put on display. Griffith is intentionally shown fully naked, or completely covered by an elaborate armor, and he is subjected to many threats of physical and sexual violence as well. Charlotte is shown naked, but always in her bedroom, in a private environment or with a transparent cloth or a sheet of some kind to make her nudity different from the occasions when Casca’s body is publicly displayed. I am careful with my own thoughts when I read Berserk, I take the time to analyze my reactions and what I am feeling in these situations. I think that this is the reason that certain books or media are intentionally aimed to adults. I don’t feel a necessity to call to censorship or to give guidance of a moral kind but rather to make the necessary reflections. And I can’t imagine how someone can understand the story without taking their time with it. Part three: Casca’s rape

In 1973 the animation studio Mushi Production released a film called Belladonna of Sadness. I haven’t seen it yet but I know a little about it and I am planning to watch it when I feel like I can do it without being affected in a bad way. It is well known that Miura remembered this film when he designed the Eclipse. In 1975 Pier Paolo Pasolini directed the film Salò or the 120 Days of Sodom, which I strongly don’t recommend to the casual viewer or anyone who felt even slightly offended by Berserk. Suffice to say that in a particular political climate and in the context of the sexual revolution of the late 1960s, in the 1970s nudity and sexuality were at the forefront of the debate and human bodies were exhibited in a symbolic way that can be misunderstood today without knowledge of the context. Gender expression was questioned and men grew their hair or refused to wear suits or to follow rigid dress codes regardless of their sexual orientation. Sexual acts were considered political acts in ways that aren’t comparable with today for many reasons. The languages, the words and the visuals we use are ever changing and actual for a moment and gone the next one or misunderstood. Many words used by queer people in the 1970s wouldn’t be received well today, because the context has been transformed. For what I understand, in films like Belladonna of Sadness and Salò rape and cruelty are preeminently used as symbols because rape and cruelty presented in a direct visual form effect greatly any type of audience and can’t go unnoticed. The sociopolitical climate in the 1970s, in the middle of the Cold War, was particularly violent, both in Italy and Japan, and the art of the time can be remarkably bleak. [Go Nagai’s Devilman was published between 1972 and 1973, Osamu Tezuka’s MW was published between 1976 and 1978, Takemiya Keiko’s Kaze to Ki no Uta was also published between 1976 and 1984].

Kentarō Miura was born in 1966, he breathed the air and grew up in that same climate and was influenced and informed by it, especially later, when he finds himself as a young man in the renewed bleakness of the 1990s. It is likely that he saw Belladonna of Sadness when he was old enough, when he started to develop the story of Berserk, and after being greatly influenced by Nagai’s Devilman. The number of sources of inspirations that Miura used for Berserk is vast, varied and multidimensional and includes books and novels and films of various genres (historical, fantasy, horror, sci-fi in particular) manga, foreign comics books, and traditional art. It is often pointed out among fans that he was also a big fan of Star Wars. Pop Culture Detective released a very interesting video essay called Predatory Romance in Harrison Ford Movies [3] that brought to my attention many things that I didn’t notice or thought about when I was seeing those films myself as a young girl [I am more or less a decade younger than Miura fyi]. Analyzing Star Wars, Indiana Jones or Blade Runner with particular attention to the relationship between the male lead, Ford, and women is an interesting exercise and helps to re-contextualize our judgment about the treatment of women across different media with arguably less reach than Star Wars. I am not inviting anyone to make comparisons and ranking which is better, or absolve Miura because he was influenced by the context around him as everyone else, but I am asking to let go of the presumption that Japanese media in particular presents problematic attitudes towards women by default. The problems are much more generalized than we’d probably like. Better analysis or methodologies are needed to make a proper assessment, and we really shouldn’t assume by default that manga (for boys and men) equals bad treatment of women.

I hope that someone is still reading after such a long time. I didn’t know how to make my point on Casca without at least presenting some of these considerations. I must say I have understood myself better, having questioned why I was feeling uncomfortable when reading Casca but not offended. I understood that Miura wanted me to feel that way, uncomfortable, horrified, and I can appreciate Berserk better [in particular as a person that wasn’t permitted to live in a female body without a certain type of violence].

As stated previously, I noticed that Casca is more exposed and shown in all her vulnerability in much extreme situations: to multiple men in very public displays, like on the battlefield or at the center of the circle of Apostles in the Eclipse. She is also shown naked and vulnerable in other moments, especially alone with Guts. Those intimate moments with Guts, during the Golden Age, are instrumental for the readers to see her in all her humanity, without the armor, or the female dress, in order to build an emotional connection with her. In the cave, Casca makes herself emotionally vulnerable in front of Guts for the first time and tells him her story, exposing her past, her goals and her true self. She tells him things about Grittith too, things that are meant to show Guts/the readers Griffith as much naked, vulnerable and human as she is. Let’s pay attention and try to recollect Guts’ reactions to her story: he is listening to her, but he is embarrassed, distracted and attracted by her nudity and he fails to see Griffith as a human being, potentially fallible and not much different from Casca or himself. Guts also fails to take away from the story the original message, something more than Casca’s infatuation with Griffith as part of her being a woman. Comparing Guts’ reactions to Casca’s nakedness, his recollections or focus on the conversation, what he takes from it and what he doesn’t: a big part of the male readership of Berserk is probably in his same situation. It isn’t till later by the waterfall, that we see Casca alone with Guts again in an intimate way. This time he is naked and vulnerable and completely exposed too. This time through the physical connection between the two, within the sexual act, Guts can’t hide himself anymore, can’t deflect from his past and his fears. I assume that that is an important moment for the male readership to start to feel emotionally invested in the connection between Guts and Casca. That emotional connection and the investment in the relationship helps them to see Casca as a human being through the Eclipse and if that didn’t work then they still can see and feel the horror of the rape of Casca through Guts. Because Miura didn’t want anyone to enjoy that scene or to be sexually aroused without at least the horror and the moral objection to it.

Casca is a woman of color, born in a disadvantaged family and community, that ended up in a mercenary group without achieving the things she wanted, never fully belonging and constantly threatened by groups of men on the enemy side with forms of violence specifically targeted and unnecessary cruel. And everything she goes through culminates or goes back to the Eclipse - before and after - and that should be taken as completely symbolic. Like the multiple instances of rape in Pasolini’s Salò, the innocent, poor and exploitable youth is violated by those in power or those who are in charge. Gambino decides that Guts is expendable or due a lesson in humility, he takes the money and coldly facilitates Guts’ rape. Gennon is rich and powerful and pretends to recreate his fantasy, a sick version of Greek ped*philia. And all he does is using money and power to horrifically exploit the youth and Griffith offers himself up and loses a fundamental part of himself in the process. But the most cruel thing in Berserk is Griffith surrendering to the call of power and doing the same thing to Casca, in the absence of lust or desire: the corruption that has been in him - and has reached Guts as well - has spread. Griffith’s surrender to the call of power, and his intolerance for more of his own pain, silences all empathy in him.

In conclusion, nudity has various narrative functions, beside the suggestion of the erotic: through each character’s naked body, male or female, we see their vulnerability and their fundamental humanity [and if I remember correctly in contrast the rapists are always dressed or covered]. And rape has a symbolic meaning, beside the literal one and the psychological exploration of trauma. Violence but in particular sexual violence is one of the most estreme and powerful tools that can be used in stories [especially in visual media], but unfortunately the overuse of it in an edulcorate format, or as a tease, or devoid of any meaning, has ceased to call for disgust and challenge us to think, has perhaps lessen the impact and the gravity around it. In the 1970s Pasolini saw the dark side of the sexual revolution and how the rich and powerful were willing to build economic empires just to have access to the youth and to the most beautiful women. But he wasn’t the only one. We should reconsider Belladonna of Sadness and the original meaning of those themes in films or later in manga like Berserk and think about it deeply and seriously and not approach every piece of art as entertainment.

Videography:

How America got so Stupid [1]

Miyoshi Umeki: The First East Asian Woman to Win an Acting Oscar [2]

Predatory Romance in Harrison Ford Movies [3]

Secret Santa

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: When you pick Loki’s name for Secret Santa, you are at a loss for what to get him. Some quality time with the God of Mischief sheds some light on the situation. Warnings: pure, unadulterated fluff; very long A/N: It’s almost Christmas now; less than a week to go! And a big thank you to my best friend @lokistan​ for writing the beautiful poetry for this story. I love you my bean! Happy reading all :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @thelokiimaginechroniclesficrecs​ @gaitwae

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

“Oh my gosh, thank you Nat!” you said, throwing your arms around her shoulders in a hug. She had been your Secret Santa and gotten you the expensive jacket you’d been wanting for months. “It’s perfect.”

Christmas Eve in the Avengers Tower was full of laughter and drinks as the team exchanged Secret Santa gifts. Tomorrow morning you’d be opening regular presents, so it was tradition to set this aside for the night before. It was more fun that way, maybe because you could focus solely on the excitement of learning who had picked your name.  

“You’re welcome. I know you were nervous about being able to pull it off, but it’ll look great on you,” she reassured, hugging you back. “Ok, now it’s your turn.”

You shot a nervous glance at Peter, who flashed a thumbs up. Thor, who was sitting next to you, pat your back. You stood and picked up the carefully wrapped package, all decorated in gold and green. You were nervous about what you had picked, but whether the recipient liked it or not, you were happy that this anxiety of if it was good enough or not would be over. You’d rather know. After all, you’d been feeling this way ever since you’d picked the name a week earlier...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright everyone,” Tony said, holding a stocking filled with little pieces of paper. “It’s time for Secret Santa. And remember, if you get me, cash is accepted.”

You gathered around with the rest of the team as they started to pick names. You said a little prayer that you would get Peter, your best friend, seeing as you already had about thirty different gift ideas for him. Wanda would be pretty easy, too, as you were also really close with her. In fact, looking around, you were able to come up with at least some scrap of an idea for almost everyone. Almost being the operative word.  By the time Tony got to you, there was only one slip left. As you stuck your hand in the stocking, you made a silent wish that it wouldn’t be the one person you had no clue what to get for.

Please, you thought. Please be someone I know. Please don’t be...

Loki.

“And that concludes the name picking process,” Tony announced as you cast a dismayed look at the four-letter name on the paper. “You have a week to figure it out, so good luck.

“Remember, no swapping!” Steve added as the group began to disperse.

You looked around for the trickster, wondering why he was even participating. It’s not that you didn’t want him to, just that it didn’t seem like his kind of thing. From the way he was clenching his fists and scowling, you still guessed it wasn’t. Not like you really knew him all that well, unfortunately. When he’d come to the Tower, Loki seemed like he preferred the solitude. You often wondered if you should have made more of an effort to be his friend, wished that you had. There was this one time you were both reading Macbeth in a common area and had gotten into a very animated discussion about it. Nothing more ever really came of that, though, as he left for a mission the next day and didn’t return until two weeks later. By then, you’d both moved onto different books.

Later, you made a trip to the library, hoping to solve the enigma that is the God of Mischief. You were the only two people who went in their regularly and more than half the conversations you’d had with him had been held in that room. Granted they were all short, but you figured it was a start. In fact, you found yourself rather wanting to have a conversation with him right now. Yes, because of the Secret Santa thing, but also because they’d been getting more frequent recently. With every one, you realized how much you enjoyed talking to him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in his usual spot by the crackling fire. You considered just leaving, but decided you should at least make some use of this trip. You’d seen him reading some works by James Joyce most recently, and you went to go look for the one he’d had last. Maybe seeing what he likes to read could give you some gift ideas. Your eyes scanned the shelves, but you couldn’t find it. It was possible you were just remembering the cover wrong. Just as you were about to give up, someone tapped your shoulder.

“Pardon me,” Loki said as you whipped around. “I think you may be looking for this.”

He held out the copy of the book you’d been looking for and raised an eyebrow when you just stared at him blankly for a second. Who could blame you, though? He was standing rather close, and he was... Well, quite frankly, he was hot. With his raven black hair framing his smooth, pale skin, and with striking blue-green eyes that stare into your soul, he was the most handsome man you’d ever met. Then again, he wasn’t really a man, was he?

“Oh, uh, yes. Yes I am,” you said, coming to your senses. “Thank you. Did you enjoy it?”

“Very much so. I have read it five times now. I apologize for that, if you were looking for it.”

“Don’t worry about it. You have nothing to apologize for.” He looked rather surprised that you would say such a thing, and you briefly wondered how many times people had made him apologize unnecessarily. “You could even just keep it if you want.”

“No, that is alright. At least, not until you have gotten to read it, too. Perhaps we could discuss it?” he said hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure if he was overstepping.

You looked at the title in your hands. Dubliners. You’d read a few of the short stories in high school and hadn’t enjoyed them much. But you were older now, so maybe your tastes had changed. Either way, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have another conversation with Loki. That slight smile and those intelligent eyes were just too captivating.

“That’s a wonderful idea. May I ask what your favorite is?”

“A good question. I think I will have to say Eveline. The way she ends up trapped, the mere emotion in the implication... It’s exquisitely done.”

“Wow, Loki, you have such a way with words. You’re beautiful,” you told him without thinking. As his eyes widened, you realized what you’d said and tried to cover it up. “I, um, I meant that that’s beautiful. The, ah, way you weave words. Sorry, I obviously don’t have the same ability.”

“It is quite alright. They do not call me silver-tongue for nothing, you know,” he said, though he was blushing now. “Still, I look forward to hearing your thoughts. But for now, my dear mortal, I must bid you goodbye. I have a sparring session with my brother to get to.”

He swept into a small, princely bow that made your heart stutter. Hugging the book to your chest, you waved goodbye, feeling much more awkward than he had been. You were also about a hundred times more determined to get Loki a perfect gift. You looked at the book again. It was a special first edition, unfortunately, and you couldn’t really do better than that. Besides, you got the impression he appreciated books more when they were well-loved. So, you could scratch that idea off the list.

You sighed and headed to your room for the night. Maybe an inspiration board could help you figure things out. Unfortunately, that led to you having a poster board with pictures solely of Loki. You’d meant to add other things, but you’d gotten so caught up in how beautiful he looked with his soft pink lips and carefully styled hair and... Ok, maybe you had the slightest, tiniest crush on the trickster god, but it was silly. You’d hardly even been friends for half a year. And yet, he was very hard to resist. You ended up destroying your project, cringing at the idea of anyone finding it and taking it the wrong way.

The next morning you woke up just as idealess as you had been the night before. You had been hoping that you could figure something out if you slept on it, but to no avail. Frustrated, you kicked your blankets off and got ready to attack the day. You absolutely hated the fact that you couldn’t come up with a gift idea on your own, and the last thing you wanted to have to do was ask someone else.

Splashing some water on your face, you had another idea that you quickly shut down. You’d thought for a second that maybe you could buy him some cologne, but then you realized you had no idea what scent or brand he used. In fact, you weren’t sure he used and fragrance at all. The smell of leather, pine, and old books that he had just suited him so well you couldn’t help but wonder if it was just a natural thing. Either way, he always smelled so safe, so wonderful. You cursed yourself for letting your thoughts take that turn again. It was a lot easier to ignore this crush when you didn’t have to be thinking about him 24/7.

Traipsing into the kitchen, you found Peter and Thor having an animated conversation about what was better, pecan or pumpkin pie. You wondered if you could bake something for Loki as a gift, then you realized that still required knowing what he likes. You would get him tea, but you already knew for a fact that was what Thor had gotten him as a regular present. Plus it was a special Asgardian blend, so there was no way you could top that.

“Good morning, guys,” you greeted as you tried to decide what to eat for breakfast.

“Morning,” they chorused back.

You bit your lip, coming to a split second decision. “Can I ask you two a question. It’s about Secret Santa.”

“Sure, go ahead,” Peter said while you took a seat across from them.

“Ok, this is top secret, right? So don’t tell anybody.” They both eagerly nodded their heads. “I know you’re both friends with Loki, and well, I picked his name. I have no clue what to get him, though. Any ideas?”

“I have the perfect idea!” Thor declared as you motioned for him to keep his voice down. “Get him some causal Midgardian clothes. You have excellent taste, I am sure he will love whatever you pick out.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Are you sure that’s not just what you want for him? I mean, he seems plenty happy to wear his Asgardian clothes around the Tower. And there’s nothing wrong with dressing up when you go out.” You sighed when Thor just seemed confused by your words, not understanding that his brother had embraced the Midgardian style as much as he wanted to. “I’ll just consider that a back-up plan for now. What about you, Peter? Any thoughts?”

“What if we just went shopping together?” he excitedly suggested. “Then if we see something we think is good, we can just point it out.”

You hurriedly agreed, anxious to get the gift-buying out of the way. The plan was to head out right after your training session with Nat and Steve. Unfortunately, that meant you were distracted nearly the whole time, leaving you with a few more bruises than normal. You loved your teammates to death, but boy did they ever need to learn how to ease up a little in practice. You stayed a few minutes extra to do some cool down stretches, and in waltzed the trickster god who had been occupying so much of your brain space recently. The way he was flipping and catching his daggers as he walked was slightly mesmerizing.

“My apologies,” he said, noticing you. “I did not think there was anyone else in here. I can come back later if you still need the space.”

“No!” you shouted as he began to turn away. It was a bit louder than you had meant to say it, and you mentally kicked yourself. “I mean, I was just on my way out, so please, stay.”

He smiled and set his things down on the bench next to yours. You eyed the daggers that had just been wielded by his expertly trained hands moments ago.

“May I?” you asked, gesturing to them.

He picked one up and handed it to you. Turning it over in your hands, you noticed that handles were slightly worn, but it was still excellently crafted. The blade had obviously been sharpened a great number of times before and was looking like it might need to be again. You’d never personally used a dagger in battle, but the way Loki was so graceful with them made a part of you want to.

“To be very precise with such a weapon,” Loki began as if reading your thoughts, “requires great focus and skill. There is no room for error when used to block another’s attack, and to deliver a powerful blow, you must strike in just the right spot.” A shiver of excitement shot down your spine as he picked up his other blade and began adeptly demonstrating, moving like a flowing river as he sliced the air. “It is much smaller than most weapons, sure. However, it is just as deadly. And if the sword is an extension of your body, the same can be said for the dagger tenfold.”

You blinked a couple times, beyond impressed by his majestic, fluid movements. It was breathtaking. He was breathtaking. Now you just had to find a way to say that without sounding obsessed.

“Wow, Loki,” you finally gasped, unable to hide your amazement. “I don’t know how you do it, but you even make weapons sound beautiful. And you’re very talented, too. I could never,” you nervously laughed.

“You are too kind to me, my dear mortal,” he said, and you felt a spark of pride in your chest that you were making him blush yet again. “You are not kind enough to yourself, though. I am certain you would be excellent. Perhaps you just need to find a teacher.”

“Would you teach me?” you asked, oddly worried to do so. You tried to calm your swelling nerves.

“Well, I did not mean to imply that I should be your instructor, for I fear that I would not be very good at it.” He watched your smile falter just the tiniest bit and found himself rushing to bring it back to full strength. “However, if you so desire, I can certainly try. I must warn you, it will not be easy.”

“Loki, you’d really do that for me?” Your heart beat a little faster in your chest as he shyly nodded his head yes. “I would love to. And don’t worry about going easy; I want to be as good as you.”

“Excellent! We shall have out first lesson, say, at the start of the New Year?”

After the plans were set, you excused yourself so you could meet your friends for shopping. You were late as it was, and you still had to go freshen up. The whole reason for the trip was you, and you’d feel bad to keep them waiting much longer. Still, you stole one last glance at Loki before exiting.

Hours later, you still had no gift for Loki. You barely even had an idea, much to your dismay. Peter and Thor kept pointing out little trinkets, a couple of which you did pick up as a regular gift for him, but your Secret Santa gift had to be a showstopper. Something about him drew you in, and you wanted to give him the most amazing present you could. If only it weren’t so difficult.

You were walking down a street when you happened to notice the trickster god himself in one of the store windows. You waved your companions on with the excuse you wanted to check something out for one of them and entered the shop Loki was at. For a second you considered just watching him to try to get some ideas, but that was quickly dashed when he let out a sigh of frustration. He just looked so perplexed and adorably aggravated.

“Hey, Loki,” you greeted after clearing your throat. “Funny running into you here. Are you alright?”

“Hello, my dear mortal. Thank you for asking,” he said. “I am alright. It is just this blasted Secret Santa.”

“I know what you mean,” you replied before you could help yourself. “But I’m, uh, not going to say who it is. I mean, you can tell me if you want to, but I’ve already told so many people it’ll hardly be a secret if anyone else knows,” you covered your tracks.

“Ah, I see. It is supposed to be a secret, and I do so ever hate to crack under the pressure, but I find myself in dire need of assistance. Do you suppose you could help?”

You beamed at him as you realized you’d talked with him more in the past few days than you had in the last three weeks. If there was one thing you knew, it was you had better be careful, or you’d get addicted to the sound of his voice. You were on thin ice with this crush as it was, you really shouldn’t let it blossom into more.

“Sure! I’d love to. Who do you have?” you finally said, looking around the store. “Wait, let me guess. Steve?”

“Stark.”

“Oh. Well, he did say cash was fine,” you giggled.

“Believe me, I was tempted,” Loki chuckled along with you. “But I promised Thor I would make more of an effort this time around. I do not know what he is talking about, though. Bruce loved his socks last year!”

You slapped a hand over your mouth as your loud laughter garnered a few stares from other shoppers. Loki’s eyes held only soft admiration, though, and your hands got a little sweaty from how nervous that made you. You subtly wiped them on your pants as you calmed down.

“Well, it you want to get something more personal, I might have an idea.”

“By all means, do tell,” he urged.

“You know that tool set he was talking about the other day?” you questioned, but were met with a blank stare. “I’ll take that as a no, but he was saying he didn’t want to get them because he doesn’t actually need them.”

“When has that ever stopped him before?” Loki scoffed.

“I guess he’s trying something new,” you shrugged. “But anyway, if you got them it would show you were thinking about what he actually liked and stuff. Or maybe that’s dumb, sorry.”

“No, no, it is a splendid idea!” he was quick to reassure you. For a second it seemed as if he was going to reach out and touch your shoulder, but then he thought better of it. “You do not happen to know where they are sold, do you?”

You nodded and led him out of the store you were in, towards the place where he could buy them. You were waiting at a corner for a light to change, amicably chatting. Nothing groundbreaking, just small talk. Regardless, it made your heart beat just a little faster. Still engrossed in the conversation, you took a step out into the crosswalk when the light said it was safe to go. You didn’t notice the car speeding towards you until Loki grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into his chest. You gasped as he glared after the driver, who gave no acknowledgement or apology to you. The god’s arms were wrapped around you in a protective manner, and you looked up at his face, appreciating his beauty at this close angle. Given what had just happened, probably not the thing you should be focusing on.

“My dear mortal,” he fretted, looking down at you, not yet letting go. “Are you alright? You are not injured at all, are you? Shall I take you to the hospital wing to make sure?”

“I’m ok,” you reassured him, though a part of you didn’t want to. He seemed about ready to scoop you up and use his godly strength to carry you home. Alas, your moral compass decided that wouldn’t be very fair to him. “Just a little shaken, but you saved me. Thank you, Loki. That doesn’t really cut it, but thank you so much.”

“Do not mention it. I am just glad you are alright,” he replied, though his voice did still have a tint of worry to it. Maybe you were imaging it, but he seemed almost reluctant to let you go from his tight embrace. “Now, you may carefully lead the way. Carefully,” he emphasized.

With a giggle, you brought him to the store where the tools were. After browsing the aisles for a few minutes, the two of you found the shelf they were on. With a frown, you examined the price tag.

“Sorry, Loki,” you said. “I didn’t realize how expensive it was.”

“It is fine,” he replied, looking at the cost himself. “This is actually plenty within my price range.”

You waited outside of the busy store while he made his purchase and checked your phone. You felt a pang of guilt as you noticed a number of missed texts from Peter and Thor.

Sorry guys, you texted the group chat. Ran into someone I know and got carried away. Carry on without me.

Don’t worry, came Peter’s reply. See you back home :)

You pocketed your phone as Loki walked back out, giving you a smile. You looked at the ground to keep yourself from saying something stupid.

“I hope I am not keeping you from anything,” he said as you started walking back towards the Tower. “Is there any shopping I can assist you with?”

You lamented the irony of the situation. Despite the entire point of this venture being to buy a gift for Loki, you were still empty handed. It was tempting to try to ask him what he wanted, but you were sure he was far more clever than you were subtle.

“No, I’m good, thanks. But if you don’t mind my asking, how do you have so much money?” you asked to satisfy your curiosity. “I mean, Tony’s always complaining about how you use his credit card.”

“That, my dear mortal, is simply because I can,” he replied as you both laughed. “I have been around for much longer than you might imagine. I have amassed a certain amount of wealth in my many years.”

“Wow, that’s pretty cool, actually. You’re making me wish I was an immortal being,” you joked.

“And tell me, my dear mortal, if you were to treat yourself to something nice, what would it be?”

You thought about it for a moment. “Maybe I’d go to a nice restaurant,” you finally said. “It doesn’t have to be anything too far from home. Oh! Like, Nobu has really good sushi.”

“Well then, perhaps I will have to pay for us to have a meal there sometime.”

“Yeah! I bet the team would really like that.”

“Actually,” he sheepishly said, bringing you to a stop on the sidewalk, “I meant for just the two of us to go. That is, if you would like to. Maybe one day after we start our training. You are not obligated to say yes, though. The offer for me to pay is still open if you would like to take another friend instead of me.”

“Loki, no. That’s so generous, of course I’d love to go with you,” you reassured him, settling a hand on his arm. Though, admittedly, you were beyond flustered, especially when you realized how that last sentence sounded. “I mean as friends, of course. It sounds amazing, thank you.”

“Well then, I look forward to it.” He brought his hand to rest on yours, and goosebumps erupted on your skin, not only from his cold touch, but the wave of excitement you felt. “And speaking of our lessons, I was thinking you may want some daggers of your own. We do not have to get them now but-”

“That’s it!” you suddenly shouted, then apologized for cutting him off. “Can I borrow your daggers, Loki? To go get myself a pair?”

He offered to come with you, but you waved him off, saying you’d be fine on your own. It was a little suspicious, he thought, but decided to drop it. Handing you the weapons, he bid you goodbye. As soon as he was out of eyesight, you examined the daggers, trying to get a clear picture in your mind of what you wanted.

A few quick stops later, and after gaining permission from Tony, you were in the lab, carefully crafting Loki’s gift. It took a few days, and you were by no means used to doing this kind of thing, but you were finally satisfied with the finished product. You wrapped it and then hid it with the rest of your presents, just waiting to be given to their recipients. With only a few days left until Christmas Eve, you were filled with an anxious excitement to give Loki his gift. There was nothing left to do but hope that he likes it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...You looked everywhere but at Loki as you approached him, nerves bubbling in your stomach. By the time you reached him, his mouth had curled into a soft smile. It occurred to you that you’d never seen him look that way at anyone but you. Building on the confidence that thought brought, you held out the gift.

“Here, Loki,” you told him, averting your gaze again. “This is for you.”

You perched on the edge of the coffee table across from him as he accepted the package with a thank you. There was some light chatter coming from the rest of your teammates, but it felt like the only people in the world at this moment were you and Loki, his fingers skillfully unwrapping the present. You sat on your hands to keep from fidgeting with them. It took all your focus to keep your eyes on Loki and not wandering the room in anticipation. As he opened the lid of the box and revealed what was inside, his mouth formed into a surprised “o”.

He picked up the gift, a pair of new daggers, each with a gold hilt. His name was engraved on it, and there was a band of emeralds at the top and bottom. You’d made them the same dimensions as his old ones.

“My dear mortal,” he breathed in awe, his eyes full of sincerity, coming up to met yours. “This is so thoughtful, so beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Loki. I’m really glad you like it.”

“I do. I love it,” he replied, taking your hand in his for the briefest of moments. He pulled away before anyone could really think anything of it. Neither of you said anything else, instead just staring into each other’s eyes.

“Ok, Reindeer Games,” Tony said, interrupting the moment you were sharing with Loki. “Now it’s your turn. So, who’d you get?”

“Well, actually, I picked your name, Stark. Here,” he said, nonchalantly handing over the gift. Though he seemed completely uninterested, you could tell he was a little nervous. “For you.”

“Alright, let’s see what it is. I swear, this better not be socks or-” Tony cut off, seeing the very thing he wanted. “Wow, Rock of Ages. This is really thoughtful. Thanks. I had no idea you actually listened,” he finished with a laugh.

“You are quite welcome,” Loki said, but he was more looking at you than Tony.

Later that evening, after all the gifts were given out, you were sitting by the fireplace, waiting for the flames to completely die out. You were curled up in the corner of the couch, your feet pulled up next to you, a blanket draped over your shoulders, and a book open on your lap.

“My dear mortal,” Loki’s voice suddenly said as he appeared in the doorway, pulling you from the words on the page. “I thought you were supposed to be in bed, lest Santa skip this house and move onto the next.”

“Yes, but I have to make sure the fire goes out so he can get in,” you laughed, playing along. “As long as I’m up, I wouldn’t mind some company. Care to join me?”

Wordlessly, he sat down, and you closed your book. The both of you just stared at the dying flames in a peaceful silence for a while. Your mind seemed to be content to be filled with thoughts of Loki; the way he was sitting so close, the way his hands kept brushing his hair away from his face every few moments, the way he’d looked at you earlier when he’d received your gift. After you weren’t sure exactly how long, he gently said your name, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Yes?” you replied.

“I truly do your love your gift. It is beyond lovely, your generosity and thoughtfulness a true reflection of what is in your brilliant soul.”

“Loki, I can’t even express how happy I am to hear that. And thank you for your beautiful words.”

“Speaking of,” he nervously said, “the gift that I have for you, it is, well, my words. A poem. I am sorry to say, I would be a little self-conscious to give it to you in front of everyone else. Would I... Would I be able to recite it to you now?”

“Of course, Loki. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m just grateful that you’re willing to share it with me.”

“Alright then, my dear mortal. Here goes nothing.”

You shifted to a more position as he took a deep breath and opened up a journal. You waited with bated breath as he began to speak.

“From your eyes that shine as the brightest stars, to your smile that's a reflection of your radiant heart. From your gentle hands that fit as though they belong in mine, to your laugh that stops my perception of time. You've shown me kindness when I didn't feel I deserved it, you welcomed me into your world with a caring embrace and showed me I am not my mistakes. My heart beats stronger for you, the love that I feel couldn't be more true. If you will have me, I will show you the world, for you have shown me the universe, the place also known as your touch, as your mind, as your heart, as your soul. You, you are my universe.”

He looked at you expectantly, but with a hesitation understandable given what he’d just confessed. You wanted to tell him how you felt just as eloquently, but were dumbstruck that the feelings were even reciprocated.

“Loki,” you said, holding his cold hands in your warm ones. “That’s so beautiful and I-I love you, too.”

He seemed just as shocked as you that the feeling could be mutual. He squeezed your hands, at a loss for words for the first time since you’d known him. With no one to interrupt you this time, you remained lost in each other’s emotion-filled eyes. It was Loki who broke the silence.

“My dear mortal, I... May I kiss you?”

You answered by surging forward and pressing your lips to his. His hands came to cup your cheeks, and yours found his hair, tangling themselves in his dark locks. He tasted like heaven, and you sighed against his mouth. You could have stayed that way forever, and yet it could never be enough. Sadly, you had to pull away, but Loki was quick to pull you against him, holding you to his chest as if he didn’t believe you’d stay, didn’t believe he could have something so wonderful.

You stayed like that for a while, conveying things even words couldn’t say in the silence, just holding each other. Eventually, you began talking, enjoying the way a light conversation was flowing between you. Your eyes were drooping shut as you snuggled against his chest, the final embers of the fire going out. You glanced at the clock and saw that it read midnight.

“Merry Christmas, Loki,” you whispered. “There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.”

“Merry Christmas to you too, my dear mortal. I could write you a thousand poems, and still I would never properly express how much I feel the same.”

As sleep slowly claimed you, it occurred to you that you may have never even admitted how you feel without the whole Secret Santa ordeal. It seemed that it had revealed more secrets than you’d ever expected, and for that, you’d be forever grateful.

The Troubadour

Requested: no

A/N: This has to be my longest piece ever! I hope it was worth the wait and that you enjoyed it. There could be a few mistakes in there both in English and Italian, sorry in advance. I loved writing this, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted but I am a perfectionist and I have rewritten this about 5 times. I just needed to post it now!

Pairing: OC!Diana Bianchi & Damiano David

Words: 3k

Warning(s): swearing, drinking, smoking (I mean it’s the 70s…), smoking weed, my Italian (I have been studying this beautiful language for three years now but people make mistakes)

West Hollywood, California // Mid-January 1972

Red eyes.

Sweaty foreheads.

That is all Diana would see when they screamed at her. “CAN I GET TWO BEERS AND A COKE PLEASE?!”

Working behind the bar was not her dream job. Diana remembered it like it was yesterday, she and her friend Tami had gone to The Troubadour to celebrate the weekend when she saw a “help wanted” poster. It was a godsend. Diana applied there and then and not long after she found herself behind the bar, handing out drinks to people who looked like they were having the best time of their lives. Another plus side was the fact that she could attend the concerts of all the artists and bands for free.

Obviously, there were also downsides to this job. For example, Diana couldn’t go out and live her teenage years. She isn’t allowed to drink (too much) on the job and the hours aren’t exactly great. The pay is okay though and the tips are even better. Half of the people don’t even know how much they are giving and walk off like they didn’t just hand you 20 for an eight dollar drink. She doesn’t complain much about her job but she does feel left behind sometimes. Like when Tami or her other friend chat about some weird adventure they had the night before and who they met or kissed. Diana felt like she missed out on a lot of things but she had no other choice.

Her parents had kicked her out when she was 15. Diana moved in with her grandmother and lived with her for a while until she passed away. She has been living alone in her grandmother’s old apartment ever since. A few friends had moved in with her but then moved out again when they had found a better place to live. So it was just Diana paying the rent for the place.

 “CAN I GET A RUM AND COKE?!” Diana gets snapped out of her thoughts. Shit, what did he want?! She thinks to herself as she stares at the intoxicated man.  “SORRY?!” She shouts back over the loud music. At least she had another reason for not hearing the man.  “RUM AND COKE!” That is all the man yells before turning his band to her so he could face the stage. Some weird indie band is playing tonight. Diana wasn’t really into it and honestly couldn’t wait until her boss would send her home for the night. She puts in a little less rum, the man will probably not even taste the difference.

The band had stopped playing somewhere around two a.m. However not all the guests had left around 2.30 which is something Diana hated the most. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her job but after so many hours standing on her feet, she wanted nothing more than to clean up, go home and get into her warm bed.

 “Diana, can you come here for a minute?” her boss asked. What was that tone, was he going to fire her?! “It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.” Pfew. Diana walked behind him into his office.

 “What can I help you with, Doug?” She asked as she sat down in the very comfortable chair across from him. Doug Weston had somewhat become her parent over the last few years that she had worked here. He was always so kind to her and could always ask him for help if she needed him.

 “I want to get more bands from across the sea. I want interesting people and not just the same bands playing over and over again. New talent that no one has heard of before but will become known because of this place. Inspire new talent, you know?” He was rambling on with his sales pitch as if you had any input, it was his place after all. “And seeing that you can speak more languages than I have ever could, I was wondering if you could write small pieces for newspapers in Europe that will inspire these artists to come here and get all the fame and fortune they want.”

 “Sure, Doug. You know I would do anything to help this place… and you of course”, Diana said while a wide grin spread on her face. She felt like she was moving up when in reality it wasn’t a new job position. She would do anything to not have the same indie bands playing almost every night. Diana would never have imagined that she would change the lives of four individuals barely six months later, and change her own life along with it.

Rome, Italy // Mid-March 1972

 “The Troubadour. The place where artists and bands from all over the world can make it or break it in the United States. It all depends on the crowd. If they love you, you can come back for an entire week! If not you will receive the money for that evening but sadly you won’t be allowed back. It’s always packed with record executives so you could get a sweet record deal out of this experience. Do you have what it takes? Sign up and good luck to everyone competing in the battle of the bands! – D. B.” Damiano finishes reading. “Ragazzi, I honestly cannot wait till we get to play there! It’s going to be veramente stupendo!”

 “Bene Damiano, calm yourself. It’s less than five months away. We still have to play in this dump to even afford to go. We barely have enough money for a motel, we don’t even have the plane tickets yet!” Classic Victoria, always worrying as if she is the mother of the group.  “Calmati Victoria, noi staremo bene”, Ethan jumps in. “Let’s get back to practising before we start another fight, sì?” The rest nods their head and pick up their instruments.  “I was thinking, should we start with I wanna be your slave oppuro no? Is it too much?” Damiano suggest.  “Oh, and for outfits, I have a few ideas?!” Thomas adds like a little kid who is excited for Christmas day.  “Positivo, let’s look at those after practice”, Damiano says. Not even ten minutes later they had many up a little setlist. It was a battle of the bands so they had to at least practice 4-5 songs to play against other bands. Then if they were allowed to come back they had to prepare yet another 6 songs on top of those 5 they had already played. They could do it, they had enough songs in their database but were they going to sing their Italian songs or did they have to translate them? The members of Måneskin weren’t sure yet. Luckily for them, they had four months to think about it.

West Hollywood, California // Mid-July 1972

Diana hadn’t even woken up yet, but on the other side of the city, Måneskin had arrived at the airport.  “Finalmente ci siamo. Ce l’abbiamo fatta!” Thomas exclaims. Damiano chuckles and throws an arm around Thomas’s shoulders.  “Slow down, loverboy. We have not made it yet. We landed yes, but we have a long way to go from here to that stage tonight.”  “How every grown-up of you, Damiano”, Victoria teases. “I bet with Ethan that you would follow the first American girl that you saw in this airport and that we wouldn’t see you until much later.”  “Ha ha, molto divertente, Victoria. Sei una persona così divertente.” They continue their bickering whilst Ethan collects all of their suitcases.   “Addiamo?” He finally asks the group, they all agree and make their way through the busy airport to the designated taxi area. During this, they complain about how crowded it is and how much the air smells. It is nothing like their own country but you have to take chances if you want to become famous like their dream.

Later that day

Doug had told Diana to come into work later than she usually would. It was going to be a busy night and he’d rather have her work during the performances than during the day and wear her out. So here she was around six-thirty instead of two o’clock. It felt so weird because usually when she arrives there is no line out front and now there was one to the end of the block. She passed all the people waiting in line, hearing them complain and moan as she walks up to Mario, the bouncer. He doesn’t even need to see her worker-id, as she walks in he wishes her good luck with tonight. She liked Mario, he was working here before she came and even then he had told her if she ever needed anything him and his wife had an extra bed for her. Honestly, the sweetest guy… also the toughest guy you will ever meet.

As Diana walked to the changing area to hang her coat and bag, she ran into a few participants of tonight’s show. She greeted most of them but they were too busy with themselves, the fame they hadn’t even earned yet was already rising to their heads. Before she could make her way to the bar, Doug called her over.

 “Diana, come here for a second. I want to introduce you to a few people.” Classic Doug, always introducing everybody to everybody. If he believed you could make it, he would introduce you to all his workers. However, the bands did not know this, the workers would treat them a little extra. “They are from Italy as well!” As if Diana herself had moved for their, it was actually her grandparents. She could speak a little Italian but other than her last name, there was nothing Italian about her. Doug briefly introduced the members of Måneskin to Diana, who couldn’t keep her eyes off a certain member. To be quite honest she had not remembered everyone’s names and she stumbled to get her name out of her mouth. All because she was already head over heels with this handsome, tall, young Italian man.

After a couple of introduction, Diana was finally behind her bar, her safe space. Meeting Damiano had made her weak in her knees, she had never had a reaction like this before. She didn’t really pay attention to the competitors and focused on serving the people but when it was Måneskin’s turn, she started to lose focus on her work.

During most of their setlist, Damiano kept glancing over to Diana and winking at her. Or at least that’s what it felt like for Diana. However, after a rather sexy song (let’s be real most of them are) he kissed one of his male bandmates on the mouth. Now Diana is not one to judge people on who they love. She reasons that everyone should love who they want to love and receive love because of it. It wasn’t that she hated it, it kind of turned her on, but she was very confused. Had she read the signs wrong? Were there even any signs to begin with? At times like these she wanted to ask Tami for help yet she was afraid that if Tami came and tried to help her that somehow Tami’s charm would work on Damiano and Diana would still end up with nothing. No, she had to do this on her own, she decided.

After the battle of the bands was over, a few stayed behind to talk with record labels about future arrangements. Diana started cleaning up, and washing and drying a few glasses, secretly listening in on a few conversations.

 “I liked what I saw out there. Let your agent call me and we will discuss your expansion in the United States.” Well, that sounded very good. Diana turned around to see who the band was that this man was talking to, but when she turned around she looked right into Damiano’s eyes.

 “I have been trying to get your attention all night”, he says shyly.  “Really? I thought so but I wasn’t sure”, Diana responds. Damiano raises his hand and scratches behind his head.  “I was wondering, you know. If maybe- ugh. Perchè è cosi difficile?” He mutters, not looking Diana in the eyes.  “Provalo in Italiano?” she suggests and Damiano’s eyes shoot up to meet hers.  “Cazzo. Parli Italiano?” He looks even more nervous now.  “Si, parlo Italiano.” He laughs at her answer.  “Vuoi uscire domani sera?” Diana nods her head, she honestly cannot stop smiling.  “I’d love to go out with you. Do you want me to pick you up at the hotel? That would be easier than you trying to find my house.”  “Yeah, sure. We’re staying at the Millwood Motel, it’s not too far from the airport.”  “Ah yes, I know that place. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He leans over and kisses her cheek before leaving her to finish her work.

That night Diana barely slept. Did Damiano know any places here to take her to? Did she have to come up with a place? What if he was some weird guy? What if he was a murderer?! She sure was happy now that she didn’t give him her address. The following day she woke up around noon. She went to the kitchen and grabbed her Cona coffee maker, if she was to get through the day, she was going to need a big cup of coffee. She put water and coffee ground on the lower half of the pot and put it on the stove. She hated having to watch the coffee boil and couldn’t wait for better times when you would just have to push a button to get your coffee.

Seeing that she woke up around noon, it didn’t take long before Diana met up with Damiano. She asked him if he had anything specific in mind. Surprisingly, he did. He explained that he and his bandmates did a little sightseeing and they walked past a roller skating rink. Damiano always wanted to try that and he thought this would be perfect for their little date. Diana absolutely loved the idea and couldn’t wait till they got there.

Both of them were sad that the night had ended so quickly or so they thought. It was in fact 1 a.m. and they had already spend ten hours together. Diana brought Damiano back to the motel with her car and of course he couldn’t leave without planting a kiss on her lips. They kissed for a while before finally letting each other go.  “We’ll be leaving soon”, Damiano said and looked at their intertwined hands in his lap.  “Already? You just got here two days ago”, Diana complained. She just met him and now he is leaving already? She wasn’t prepared for that. She knew he was leaving at some point, he had to he didn’t live in the US, but still she had hoped for a little more time together.  “Maybe we’ll come back soon. We have a meeting with our agent and that record label guy tomorrow.”  “Could we meet up after? We should catch dinner together, I have another day off”, she suggested. Damiano agreed, kissed her one more time before leaving her car and making his way to his motel room.

The next day

Diana waited for Damiano in front of a large building. She was enjoying the sun on her face when she felt two arms coming from behind and hugging her on her stomach.  “Ciao, amore mio. Sei adorabile oggi”, Damiano said into her ear before kissing the side of her face.  “Ciao, you don’t look to bad yourself”, she said as she turned around. She grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him on his lips, his mates cheering them on in the background. “How did it go in there?” With that question Damiano’s face broke out in a wide grin. “What?”  “Amore, we’re staying here in the US. We got a record deal, we will be here for the entire year!” he shouts and all five of them jump in celebration. “I was going to tell you at dinner, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. We can be together, amore.” Diana broke out in tears, nodding her head, for she had never met a man who she loved more than Damiano. Her Italian lover boy.

“you get me” (famous!y/n x harry)

Famous!y/n x Harry Styles

First Harry fic so please be kind, but feedback is SUPER appreciated

Initially inspired by the picture of Harry leaving the Gucci store with 15 bags but barely has anything to do with that lol

Definitely thought of Ellen for the interview idk why tho - also I struggle with writing Harry’s dialogue because I really want to get it right, but hopefully the more practice I get, the better/more natural it will sound. ALSO i have like no music or music industry background lol. Somewhat proofread, but its 2:30 am so it could be shit

Fluff!

Warnings: maybe some angst over being famous per say, past loneliness

Word Count: 3.7k literally howwww, i’m going to do a pt. 2 though because it was kind of a long set up and feelingsssss

---

Interviewer: Please, welcome our next guest, a woman who’s sure to have her name written up beside the music greats someday, Ms. Y/N L/N!

You can’t contain the grin that spreads to your face as you carry yourself out onto the stage and see the audience cheering for you. It was your third big interview since your first album had been released and you’d seen your fame skyrocket over night. This being the third one this week meant you’d gotten comfortable getting asked questions, but you also weren’t bored of it yet. It was exhilarating being the center of attention, especially for something that had been your life’s work up until this point. You always had to fight for whatever you got and the recognition you were starting to have was reassurance that you hadn’t been a fool to risk a safe and certain life for your dreams.

The interview begins as the rest had, a few pleasantries, how you were feeling, and then the introduction of the album. The host asked you what your inspiration was for some of the songs and the album name and cover. You loved to talk about the music, it was the whole reason you were there. The meaning, the sound, the name, it all meant so much to you and you talked about how music can be interpreted differently by everyone and even the shifts in someone’s mood can change a song’s meaning, but what it meant to you at the time of writing was always something specific. You practiced those answers in the mirror before the interviews because they were important to you and you didn’t want your words on your art to ever be misconstrued. The host then complimented your style and you were at the point where you thought your interview should be wrapping up when they asked you one more question, and it threw you for a loop.

Interviewer: So Y/N, we’ve been hearing some rumblings around, about you and another famous musician, Mr. Harry Styles. Anything going on there?

Your face heated up, you hadn’t been expecting a personal question about possible relationships. Nothing like this had been asked of you at your previous interviews. It’s about the music, the art, and who you were, it’s always about that and nothing more. To be honest, you were a bit annoyed the host had chosen to stray from those topics. You didn’t care for the celebrity side of being a famous musician, the lack of privacy, the prying eyes of media and the general public. They saw enough of you through your art, you bore your soul through music why did they want to peak into your heart as well?

Y/N: I don’t know if I’d rather be with Harry Styles or actually be Harry Styles. Like, he’s literally such an icon, I want to be able to walk out of a Gucci store after spending hours there with 15 bags full of my purchases and helpers to carry it all out c’mon… He’s also an amazing songwriter, musician, and performer, of course. Didn’t mean to sound superficial, but I’d also love to own even half of his closet.

You hadn’t really answered the question, but the audience laughed and the host obviously got the hint that you weren’t interested in fanning any flames of romance with Harry Styles or anyone else. For one, you didn’t even know the man, but you had always been a loving fan of his. You cited him as one of your role models when you were first starting to try and break into the music world. Second, if you did know him, that wouldn’t be an appropriate topic for your album press junket going on, even if it meant more publicity because of Harry’s big celebrity status. The host decided to qualify their original question with a final sentiment.

Interviewer: I totally feel the same way! I only ask because the outpouring of support you’ve received seems to be from similar groups who also follow Harry. Many have been comparing your sound to his solo career work.

Y/N: Ah...well that’s very kind of people to say. He’s definitely a big inspiration, his creativity and drive is incredible. I’d love to be as successful as him someday.

The interview ended. You and the host shook hands and you waved and sent kisses to the crowd before retreating backstage. You were exhausted, but happy. You hoped to avoid anymore stressful interview questions that didn’t truly revolve around music. Of course, life is never that simple.

-

One month later

You had done countless more interviews and talk shows as promo for your album and the buzz around it had continued to grow. Your fame continued to rise as well and that one question you had dodged at your third interview had come back around to bite you, naturally. Daily Mail’s dumb headline read: “Y/N can’t decide! Date Harry Styles or Steal His Closet?” The Sun was also running with your response and miscontruing it completely, something about how you were madly in love with Harry but jealous of his designer partnerships, you couldn’t even stomach reading the garbage. This was your worst nightmare. Not only was it taking away the focus from your album, but you were also sure this dumb gossip had reached the very set of ears that the gossip was allegedly also about.

You had signed with Columbia Records for your first album, the same record label as Harry Styles, so managers had been in contact with one another about the whole fiasco trying to get the actual truth - which was that the two of you didn’t even know each other and there were no problems whatsoever. Your manager also brought along the good news that Harry had actually listened to your album and loved it, “He said ‘Congratulations’ by the way, loved the sound. Said he’d heard you were very music focused and be open to do some mentoring on songwriting and vocal specifics, if you wanted. It’d have to be in private though, obviously.” She had added the last bit, but you understood why. To have the opportunity to discuss your music with one of your longtime role models, heroes even, was beyond anything you could have imagined coming from your album’s success. And it made the drama all the more palatable because now you at least got to talk to Harry like the media was so adamantly saying you were doing already.

You nodded quickly and agreed, while trying to keep your teenage fangirl excitement hidden below your mature now-famous musician facade. Like you said, Harry was your hero, he’d been your hero since you were in middle school and had Up All Night downloaded on your iPod touch, blasting it as loud as possible, sound hitting your poster-filled walls. You weren’t the same girl as you were then, obviously, you had grown up to be a strong, independent, and confident woman. But, you still smiled at the thought of your younger self with your baby face squealing in the nosebleeds at the Take Me Home Tour (where you swore Harry had looked straight at you) and her seeing you now, dressed in a sleek outfit setting up an appointment to meet with Harry to discuss your first album, a success.

-

The next Thursday evening

You took a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your pursed lips. You were anxious and excited at the exact same time. Your meeting with Harry was tonight, right now actually, and you hadn’t been able to think about much else since your manager had confirmed the meeting last week. She got you the details a couple of days ago, the location: his house in Malibu, the time: 5:45 P.M. You had brought along a copy of your album on vinyl because you thought it sounded best this way, second only to performing it live.

Choosing your outfit for tonight was probably the toughest decision you’d ever made, harder than choosing between an education and following your dreams, harder than choosing your favorite Beatles song. You didn’t want to worry so much, this wasn’t a date you kept reminding yourself, but everything you tried on earlier kept having something wrong with it, too dressy, too boring, too ‘not yourself’. You had settled for these blue high-waisted pants that you’d worn to your first ever podcast interview, a thin black long sleeve, and a brown leather coat that fell below your hips with vans sneakers, casual, simple, yet still true to you and your vibe.

You raised your free arm and formed a fist, hesitant to knock, as if you’d damage Harry’s seemingly perfect Malibu beachfront home by knocking too hard on the wooden front door. You waited a few moments and could here some shuffling behind the door, some incoherent words were seemingly said, but the walls muffled them before they could reach for ears. Soon enough, Harry Styles in the flesh was before you. He beamed down at you, huffing, slightly out of breath as if he had been clear across the house when you knocked. His strong figure towered above your far smaller stature. He was hanging onto the door since he had opened it only slightly. “Hello, Y/N?” he greeted and questioned simultaneously. “Hi,” you responded and extended the same hand that had just rapped against his now open door. He gripped it, ushering you into his home, “Come in, come in, it’s nice to meet you, don’t want you to catch a cold now do we?” He took note of your strong handshake and ring clad fingers.

He walked you into an area between the kitchen and a sitting area. The kitchen was open aside from a bar high top between the two rooms. You sat down at his prompting and made yourself comfortable. “I brought my record on vinyl, sounds best in my opinion, otherwise I’d recommend seeing it live,” you laughed as you handed the vinyl to him and took off your coat. “Technically, y’know, I could hear it live right now, if you were willin’ f’course,” Harry had responded over his shoulder as he placed the vinyl by his idle record player, “Anything to drink?” “Just water for me, please.” His accent was even stronger in person, especially since he had moved back to London and seldomly stayed in California, except for business and quick trips. As far as you knew, he had already been here on business for the week and was able to pencil you in.

You two settled in, with your waters, seated at the bar top beside each other, but swivelling the chairs to face one another more. Again, you were overwhelmed with the reality of the situation, sitting beside Harry Styles as professionals, peers even. He had heard your work and liked it enough to want to discuss it with you. It was a day you never thought would come to pass. He started off not by asking about the music right away, but about how you were doing with the whirlwind that stardom is. “How are you, Y/N? It’s been somewhat of a out of the frying pan into the fire kind of moment for you?” He stared at you intently, caring to hear your answer.

You couldn’t help but chuckle again and contain your smile, “Thank you for asking, Harry. Yeah, its been definitely stressful, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more so the good is still outweighing any bad. Definitely, fucking exhausted though, dunno how many more interviews I can do before my jaw goes completely rigid from talking so much.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh, his eyes shone with intrigue at what you said and how you said it. You were gorgeous, but it was how your hands helped you through what you were trying to say and the small laughs you tried to keep in while you amused yourself with your words that really made him want to hear you talk all night long.

He agreed about how the promo junket for an album can get tedious and tiresome, but also the absolute fulfillment you get from people loving the music you’ve made. The two of you chatted about surface level personal matters for a little more, but quickly moved to the music. “I took a listen a couple weeks after the album was released. I especially loved the last track. It reminded me so much of a song I never released, actually…” he trailed off.

Your final track had been a ballad, an homage to George Harrison with your use of guitar and sitar, but the lyrics were a story based off of a poem you had written one night in high school. It surrounded a girl never feeling quite good enough for the person she wanted to be with and how it happened everytime, everytime she was ready to giver herself to someone, they were always closed off. Of course it held some truth to your own life and feelings, but you wrote this girl as someone with a seemingly perfect life - when yours was obviously far from any semblance of perfection.

You wondered what Harry’s song would have sounded like, had it been about a seemingly perfect girl or a guy with a seemingly perfect life, always giving himself to the wrong person and getting destroyed by that very fact because he was impatient as the girl in your song had been. “Can I ask, how so? How’d it remind you of your own song, the words or the music?” “Oh, the story, I felt like that for a time in my life and I like to be vulnerable in my songs because it helps me process, but listening to it back has always been too painful. Could never release that or perform it, it’d wreck me.” You nodded, you completely got where he was coming from. You noticed his downcast eyes and his somber tone, you knew not to push it any further.

It was quiet and you decided it’d be okay to take his hand resting between the two of you. “Harry, I understand,” your sincerity spilled into the words, filling the quiet house, “It’s not easy. Feeling that way. Thinking you’re the only goddamn one and why the fuck does it always happen to you? I used to ask my ceiling ‘why me?’ every night of high school” you smiled then. “But you know how it is,” you rubbed your thumb over his large warm hand and he lifted his head, “it gets so much better - c’mon look at us now! It can get hard, too, all this, I’m sure. But our lives? They’re amazing!” He beamed as he had when he had first seen you at his door and when you’d first really spoke. He moved his hand from under your palm to weave your fingers with his, both of your hands with covered in rings and they clinked to fit together, finally resting perfectly fitted. He shook your two hands up and down, “God, you’re so right! That damn song, m’sorry always puts me in a mood,” he shakes his head, “not yours though, f’course, s’lovely, better than my sodding song” he finishes quickly.

After that, the mood lightened right back up. It filled you with such appreciation for Harry that he would trust you so much with such a personal detail since you two had just met. But maybe, he had trusted you because he had felt that same spark between you. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic spark, but it was obvious the two of you were kindred spirits. Besides your album, the two of you talked about everything. You loved the same bands, movies and books, you both loved to cook and had similar fashion taste, you even had the same person type - something you found out late into the night.

At the end of the Side B of your album, Harry switched to a Bill Evans record that had ‘Peace Piece’ on it. You loved that song. So did he. “So...planning to raid my closet?” Harry raised his brows from the record player and walked back to you. You almost sputtered the water in your mouth. Luckily, you got it down. “Pardon?” “All that bad press the two of us have been getting...I watched the interview that kind of ignited the tabloids. You’re obviously not used to those overstepping personal questions.” You nodded. “It’s fine, even if you’d completely shut it down, the tabloids probably would have picked it up still, they snap up anything and everything, true or not.” You softened at his reassurance. You hadn’t expected Harry to bring the interview up, but you were sure he wasn’t happy about it, he was so private, especially about his love life. “Thanks, I’m sorry I tried to laugh it off, kind of made it worse, didn’t I?” “No! Thought it was hilarious and I totally appreciated the sentiment. Little ol’me, an icon? And an amazing artist? All I gotta do is watch that clip and I’ve fed my narcissistic side for the week!” You giggled and replied slyly, “So does that mean I can raid your closet? As compensation, of course.” Harry threw his head back in an all consuming laughter, when he’d composed himself he looked in your eyes again and said, “You just...God, you get me.”

Harry had continued to put records on throughout the night, diligently flipping sides and asking for requests, he of course had an extensive collection. The two of you had moved onto his plush couch that looked out his french doors to the beautiful ocean view. Finally, your exhaustion caught up to you, mid-Harry describing his latest travel fiasco, you glanced up at the clock. You gasped. Harry stopped. “When did it get to be half 12?” you questioned almost incredulously, “I’ve gotta get home, Harry, but this has been truly amazing, more than I could have asked for, so thank you.” Your speech began to rush as you started to get up and gather your things, that had slowly scattered as you’d gotten more comfortable, jacket by the table, shoes around the back of the couch, your phone forgotten somewhere in the couch. You couldn’t believe you’d spent almost seven hours just talking with Harry Styles.

Harry quickly stood up from his relaxed positioned on the couch and asked if you were alright to drive this late. You scoffed, “Oh please, I’ve driven around at 3 am before, I just have to turn up the music and I can cruise.” He smiled, “This was great, Y/N, I know we didn’t really go super in depth into your writing process, but I’d love to write with you sometime or just hang out again f’course. Your seriously talented and obviously a wonderful person.” He didn’t include that he felt like he’d never met anyone like you, never met someone so perfectly matched to himself, in passions but also in work ethic and demeanor - compassionate yet confident. He felt like you got him perfectly and he got you. You had stopped your scramble to gather yourself and now you were both smiling at one another.

This had really been an unforgettable night, you couldn’t believe how well you two had meshed, like childhood friends reconnecting after years apart. “Can I give yeh a hug before you go?” Harry’s voice had grown raspier as the night had progressed. He had grown rather tired an hour ago, but had pushed through because they had been having so much fun and you hadn’t noticed his physical fading or the time, obviously. You stepped toward him and his large tattooed arms enveloped you into his body. His body truly dwarfed yours now as he held you to his chest. You both were warm and soft. He tucked his head on top of yours that rested on his chest. Your arms were loosely resting where his back met his waist because you would have had to strain to get them to encircle him. His arms rested around your small frame. “Love your jacket,” he mumbled into your hair. His rough voice was quiet, but the house was silent otherwise, Tusk Side C had finished around when you had noticed the time. The embrace lasted long, but it felt so amazing you had a hard time pulling yourself away, but you had to get back home.

“G’night Harry” you said softly at the threshold of his home. He had insisted on walking you to the front door at least, since you had declined his offer to walk you out to your car on the street. “G’night. Safe travels.”

You got in your car and headed to your apartment in the city. You didn’t bother digging for your phone so you turned on the radio and drove home singing whatever came on, including your own song at one point. The whole time you drove with a grin. Harry was the nicest person you’d ever met and you were confident that the two of you were friends now. As you pulled into your parking garage it dawned on you why you hadn’t connected your phone immediately when you got in your car. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you put the car in park and rested your palms in the depressions of your eyesockets, over your closed eyelids, and rubbed hard. “Fuck!” It was far too late to drive back out to Malibu for your phone and you obviously couldn’t text Harry that you’d left your phone at his place, despite the two of you exchanging numbers during the night for future hang outs, so they didn’t have to be arranged through your managers, like playdates. Even if he found your phone between the cushions, he couldn’t drop it at your place in the morning because he didn’t know your address. This was a whole mess, you thought. You’d have to drive over in the morning and hope he was still there or email your manager from your computer. The former meant you got to see Harry sooner and likely your phone, too.

part 2

-

@berrynarrybanana​

Askplosion #11:

(note that I know I mentioned a “Voiced Askplosion” last time in the tags for anyone who put a 🎤 in their ask, meaning they wanted to hear me respond verbally to it, but I only got one and it wasn’t anything serious - just a tease from someone I know - so I either won’t be doing it at all or will be holding off)

Asks responding to previous posts:

ALYA NO!!!

(the idea of Sabrina avoiding not only Ms. Mendeleiev, but also Alya, is very amusing to me)

The fact that the special focuses on the love square instead of Sabrina and Delmar is a crime.

(also note that “Need some help?” is rhetorical in this context; Alya doesn’t care)

Highly recommended, honestly, otherwise it just turns into a big shame because there are shows I really like but with some content that I don’t like, and why torture myself with it when I can cut it out instead?

Just to give a rough idea, here’s my cut of “Desperada”; mind you, this is just my quick cut of it (basically a “beta” version where I just removed everything I disliked without much care for transitioning/having everything make sense; some of Marinette’s friends talking, the guitar scene, Aspik, etcetera), as I’m not comfortable handing over my “perfect” cut of it since it’s like my personal copy.

Yeah, that’s a super awkward scene. As much as I’d like to imagine that Adrien just doesn’t understand the “guy time” thing (which I still hate), the fact that they use the word “guy” specifically is--ugh.

I wasn’t aware of what he said in the French dub, so thanks! It’s really painful to see her throw so much love his way, openly and publicly and obviously, then be so humiliated for it, only for Adrien to feel nothing for her.

Say whatever you want about Chat Noir’s advances and how sAAAAAAD he is when she rejects him, but her rejections are just that; in private. There aren’t other heroes who are around and Chat is never really humiliated. Even in “Prime Queen,” Chat wasn’t the target - Ladybug was, and then Ladybug shifted it to Nadja - so Marinette is the one taking all the heat in love while Chat gets to sit on the sidelines (plus, then “Oblivio” happened and now people probably all thing they’re a thing).

Yeah! That’s the group I was thinking of!

Thank you!

I’m so sorry that happened. ;—;

I’m not aro but I am ace and I’ve gotten the whole, “oh it’s just because--” stuff before, so I know what it feels like to have people put on the pressure/invalidate you.

YES.

IT’S GORGEOUS.

I’m not really familiar with how holidays are celebrated outside of the bare basics of Christmas/New Year (which I am trying my hardest to forget lol), so I couldn’t say.

Sorry!

New Asks:

10/10 thought, would fantasize again.

Though would also accept MC Audrey just doing some “spring cleaning” of the whole staff in general. I have no idea how she’d replace Jeremy since he’s the company’s poster boy but most of the writers have to go at the very least and Jeremy should be given less power.

I think MC Audrey would appreciate how Kagami carries herself, though potential bonus if - while Tom and Sabine just openly trust whatever Marinette wants - Audrey does a bunch of digging to make sure Kagami is “worthy” of being with Marinette (she takes this all very seriously).

Double potential bonus if Kagami takes it just as seriously, so here’s Audrey and Kagami acting as if Kagami dating Marinette is like some sort of job interview.

Kagami handing over a “resume” of her accomplishments to Audrey. Audrey has already looked all of it up herself but appreciates the effort put in.

If the question in Miraculous is, “Do we really need a--” and the thing being introduced is something the staff came up with then the answer is usually “no.”

The movie will look pretty and that’s all I’ll expect. It’s just Jeremy’s take on Miraculous. Luka and Kagami probably won’t even be around so I’m not even interested.

I’ll watch it, but I’m also not interested lol.

Honestly, I’d rather turn into bubble froth.

oddly specific but... I mean, damn

I have no idea, and I try not to throw around words like “spite ship” because I know people could genuinely like the ship, though I will say that I went on AO3 and - unless I read from - the first Maribat fanfiction on there was posted after the airdate of “Chameleon.” I think it might’ve started with inspiration from “Marinette moves schools” ideas at the very least.

Non-Miraculous Asks responding to previous posts:

Oh, I understood, no worries! It was just funny for the split second it took me to figure it out.

My bad, that’s not how I meant to come off (especially since “magical girl shows” is a little broad; I mean, obviously I don’t think something like Cardcaptor Sakura is aiming for fanservice when Sakura’s--like... ten). I answered all those asks in the last askplosion in the same day so my brain was a little fried by the time I got to that ask.

I’m not even talking about Sailor Moon either; it’s just that I knew there are shows with fanservice and there are certain magical girl outfits where I kind of give the side-eye.

Absolutely zero problem with girls fighting in pretty outfits though. I fully admit that I’m a bit of a prude so sometimes I see fanservice where there might not be any. Super short skirts without shorts, for example, inherently throw me off (shout-out to Saint Tail - which I discovered while looking up “pretty magical girl outfits” - because the main character does have a skirt in “magical girl” form but also tights/boots and a cute hat, which is one of the more unique ones I’ve seen).

Non-Miraculous Asks:

Do you mean Sailor Moon Crystal? Yeah, the only reason I hesitate on Sailor Moon in general is because I’m not crazy about the transformed designs. It’s not really a matter of animation but more a design choice that takes me out of the experience.

I have seen all of Cardcaptor Sakura anime though, and then all of the Clear Card arc. I like the former, despise the latter, and I tried to keep up with the manga but once one of the big plot details were revealed, I officially dropped it.

As for Revolutionary Girl Utena, I looked it up a while ago and don’t remember what exactly turned me away. It might’ve been the darker tone though if what you say is accurate that it’s a darker take on a magical girl show.

Also, I may or may not have looked up the ending of at least Princess Tutu and I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a great anime, but if there isn’t a happy ending then I give whatever anime a hard pass.

(note: yes, I realize the hilarity of saying that when I continue watching Miraculous)

-

(More Madoka Magica talk/salt below!)

Ohhh, it started a trend? I had no idea since I don’t actively keep up with every anime out there; descriptions need to really pull me in (the only current anime I’m keeping up with is Hanyou no Yashahime, Otherside Picnic, and Cells at Work (Season 2)).

The focus on specific--uh--body parts in magical girl transformations also reminds me that I think that’s usually what kills it for me, not because of the sexualization but because I expect transformations (especially ones that get repeated over and over) to be really dynamic with changing angles and such, which is harder to do when the camera is trying to draw focus to specific places.

Obviously you have to do it for some moments (I’ve always imagined Miraculous transformations like a potential sheep or another one for rabbit, then rabbit!Jean from Leave for Mendeleiev and fox!Juleka from LadyBugOut) because things will be weird if you focus on nothing, but I think there are ways to draw the eye without trying to sexualize.

Not having Ladybug-esque bodysuits is a good start. It reminds me too much of the Catwoman with just a bodysuit so it leaves nothing to the imagination.

How did I forget about that Sayaka scene? omg (though I dunno if the Bechdel Test is hard to pass if there aren’t really any endgame male love interests? are there rules about that? not saying a pass isn’t a pass but it feels like cheating)

It is nice when fans can respect the opinions of others without having to outright attack. I have had a few people come to me with, “I see your point/respect it even if I disagree,” instead of accusing me/others of--well, you get it.

Fandoms can be really messy, particularly as they get larger. I think there’s a certain balance between small fandoms that all know each other and a big fandom that’s out of control. Then there are things like “loud minority” and it’s just uggggh.

Anyway, back to the asks themselves, yeah, I’m not crazy about taking things that are just meant to be positive/cute/whatever and being like, “OKAY BUT WHAT IF IT WAS EDGY AND SAD.”

n o ,  p l z

Oh, I’ve never heard of that one!

Sayaka dying didn’t really do anything for me either. It’s hard to explain when I saw it so long ago, but it was just Sayaka’s attitude about the whole thing and it made it feel underwhelming. It was a shame too because I liked her and she had potential.

She was Madoka’s friend so I was just like, “Yeah, she’ll die soon.” Probably didn’t help since I knew what I knew about the show being “dark.”

Madoka/Sayaka is probably what I’d support the most out of all the potential shoujo ai ships. To my knowledge, none of them are really canon, though I remember a special song after the death Sayaka and Kyoko which I guess makes them the most canon and that did basically nothing for me since their relationship didn’t interest me (nor did I care for Kyoko as a character). The PSP game might have more intimate potential between the girls, but I never played them so I can’t make those claims (I only remember something about everyone potentially living and then a bad ending for Sayaka where part of her body was decayed when they didn’t get her soul gem back in time).

The tomboy argument makes me think back to a conversation with a friend of mine where we were discussing tomboys in anime and... we couldn’t really think of any? At least any that really qualify as “tomboy” for me.

Like, Misty from Pokemon, for example. I knoooooow everyone really likes Misty, but regardless of my opinion on her, it’s hard to see her as a tomboy.

I feel like they try to lean that way by making her super aggressive and violent (because... m E N) and I think Ash makes a comment once about her not being “like a girl,” but... I feel like that’s just how general “aggressive” female characters are written?

I mean, that’s tsundere female characters I’ve seen in general. Really loud (and not in a “gIrlS aRe sO lOuD aND ScReEcHY” way but like... the way anime gives them big heads while they scream at whatever male character they’re mad at), angry a lot, short fuse, etcetera.

But Misty is still crazy about clothes and dolls, she still gushes about cute things and romance, and both of those things seem pretty indicative of what “standard girl character” would be defined by, since they’re all “stereotypically girl thing” (I say stereotypically for obvious reasons since boys can like blah and girls can like blah and gender exclusivity is blah--). I get that she dresses differently, but that’s about it, and it comes off like, “she dresses differently and she’s ANGRY and VIOLENT, so she’s a tomboy,” which... yeah. They even gave her three beauty queen sisters with CURVES and BUSTS as if to say, “See?? These are GIRLS, not TOMBOYS.” (busty females can exist who are also tomboys, thank you have a nice day).

This becomes more complicated in magical girl anime since girly clothes are usually part of that so “tomboy” means that frills and skirts probably wouldn’t be a factor.

I mean, if you gave those sorts of outfits to me, I’d be like, “SCREW IT, I’M NOT A MAGICAL GIRL ANYMORE. IF LOOKING PRETTY IS REDUCED TO SKIRTS AND FRILLS, SOMEONE ELSE CAN SAVE THE WORLD.”

I’d also like to see some mixes between personalites and “tomboy” things. Like, non-stereotypical tomboy personalities doing tomboy things. Mix and match, y’know?

This was really rambly, but to answer the question... no, I wouldn’t count Sayaka as a tomboy.

All of this.

I think it also exemplifies the whole “dark and edgy magical girl show” thing because... ugh, how do I put this...

The “girls are overly emotional” thing is already bad, but then you realize that there not being any magical boys is also because that doesn’t hit the “shock value” threshold as much.

Y’know, because boys equal dark and edgy shows, so if there was even one magical boy it wouldn’t be as shocking when Mami gets her head chomped. They could’ve done, “emotional teenagers are the target because they’re in that vulnerable stage; smarter and more physically capable than children, but not as mature/stable as adults,” but having some boys in there for balance (it makes me feel weird saying that when I’m all for girl power shows with an all female cast, but in this show’s logic, it’s a different ball game) would make the show seem less bright and “girly” and thus lessen the shock value.

Does that make sense?

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

Interview with www.achuka.co.uk

See Original post here: https://www.achuka.co.uk/blog/meet-an-illustrator-14-david-litchfield/

Meet An Illustrator 14 – David Litchfield APRIL 17, 2021 BY ACHUKA  self-portrait © David Litchfield

ACHUKA is thrilled to have David Litchfield as the 14th guest on Meet An Illustrator, an informal weekend feature introduced this year.. Do visit the backpages  to read the responses from previous guests.

The Bear And The Piano, David’s debut picture book, was published just 5 years ago, but he is already established as one of the UK’s leading illustrators and picture book creators. That debut title won Waterstones Illustrated Book Prize in 2016. Much more recently he has come to attention as the cover illustrator for David Almond’s Bone Music:

The Bear And The Piano became a trilogy with publication in 2019 of The Bear, The Piano, The Dog And The Fiddle and, this year, with the third title The Bear, The Piano And The Little Bear’s Concert.

A particular favourite of ACHUKA’s is Lights On Cotton Rock:

His 2021 publishing year kicked off with illustrations for A Shelter for Sadness by Anne Booth

and the paperback edition of Rainbow Before Rainbows by Smriti Halls is published this coming week:

Next month (May 2021) we can look forward to Pip And Egg written by Alex Latimer:

and, as we hear below, there is lot lots more to come.

As a child, what were the first illustrations you remember being pleased with?

I think that it was a drawing of a panda. It was in primary school and we all had to draw one. We then put them all on the wall and I remember feeling a bit arrogant and quietly smug that my panda was definitely one of the best ones on that wall.

Who/what inspired you when you were young?

Again at primary school our teacher sat us all down and read us Where The Wild Things Are. I remember being absolutely blown away by Maurice Sendak‘s drawings and characters and totally felt transported away from the reading mat in that classroom to that dreamy monster island. Mr Sendak and Albert Uderzo were absolutely the two biggest influences on making me want to draw every day.

Who inspires you today?

Still mainly Sendak and Uderzo. But I love finding out about new illustrators. There are an infinite amount of styles and techniques and approaches to drawing and I love being surprised by how different people create a spread or tell their stories. My current 2 favourites are Sydney Smith and Frances Ives. They both have such a free and natural style. They are amazing.

Did you study art/illustration?

I actually studied Graphic Design at Camberwell College of Art. Graphic Design felt like the most sensible career choice in the art world. I loved the course and I met some great people there. But I was really shocked at how little drawing was involved. I think more than anything that course showed me how much I really loved to draw and that I just wasn’t a Graphic Designer.

What is your favourite artist tool/product?

It sounds obvious but a pencil and a sketchbook. My absolute favourite part of a project is when it’s just me, a pencil and a sketchbook and I am just letting the idea develop by scribbling and experimenting and making a mess.

Where do you buy your art supplies?

I have two favourite shops here in Bedford. One is called the Arc which sells all kinds of incredible arts supplies and exotic paints and brushes etc. I also like Coleman’s which is obviously more of a standard stationary shop. But I don’t know, I like their pens. I spend far too much money on pens.

What software/apps do you use?

I only really use Photoshop. I tried to get my head around Illustrator but I’m just not that technically minded to be honest. I have had a play with Pro Create but my kids keep stealing my iPad so I have not had enough time to learn it yet.

What was your first commission?

My first commission happened when I was 13 years old and I drew a poster for a local comic shop. They paid me in comics. My first proper paid commission was with The Beano comic. I think that it was in  2013 or so when the editor Michael Stirling found my drawings online. For a few weeks I drew the illustrations that accompanied a poetry section in the comic. It was amazing to be drawing for a comic I had been in love with for most of my life. I will forever be grateful to that team for giving me that opportunity.

What are you working on at the moment?

I am just finishing drawing a pretty epic book written by Gregory Maguire. After that I’m so happy to be working on another ‘Earth’ book with Stacy McAnulty. I love drawing these books, and I learn so much about our planet too. After that I’m starting a beautiful book with the writer Nell Cross Beckerman which is going to be a total stunner. Towards the end of the year I’m creating artwork for my next author/illustrator book too.

Which is all very exciting. I always feel like I’m being very vague when I don’t give too much info but I’m never sure how much I’m actually allowed to say. What I can tell you is that my author/illustrator book is going to be a Christmas story set in Victorian times.

Twitter or Instagram? Instagram I think. I love Twitter but Instagram just feels a lot friendlier. Also as an illustrator it is a great, visual medium to share work on. I have also found so many new great artists from this site.

Coffee or tea?  

I love coffee. But I have had to cut back a lot. I was getting the jitters because I drank it so much. Now I just have two cups a day. And only in the mornings.

Cat or dog?  

Oh my goodness Dog. Dog every time. I always had dogs growing up. They were my best friends. We got a dog last summer. I was adamant that my two boys should have a dog growing up. My wife wasn’t that convinced I don’t think but now that we have one she loves her as much as we do.

Grape or grain? 

Hmmm, both good, but I would have to say grape.

Sunrise or sunset? 

Sunset. I don’t know if it’s a getting older thing but I love sitting in my garden as the sun starts to go down. It’s like a magic time of the day where everything is winding down and becoming peaceful.

What do you listen to when you are working?  

Mainly loud rock music.  But I’ve also started to listen to a fair few podcasts. My favourite ones at the moment are ‘Pod Save America‘- helps me get my head around American politics, which I can sometimes find quite baffling from time to time- and The Force Center – which is a massively geeky Star Wars podcast which has none of the snark and negativity of other fandom type discussions. I recommend it if you are a Star Wars nerd like me.

Where can we follow you on social media? I’m on twitter: @dc_litchfield Instagram: @david_c_litchfield

I also have a blog at:

tinkerd.tumblr.com

and a Facebook page at

facebook.com/davidlitchfieldillustration

-but to be honest I do keep forgetting to update that one.

Music & Poetry - Chapter Three

Summary: Popular-but-not-really-famous lyricist Virgil Quinn meets an attractive poet named Logan who claims to hate music. Virgil, who believes lyrics to be every bit the poetry as the kind found in books and anthologies and inspirational posters, feels the need to prove to Logan wrong.

Ship: Analogical (with others in the background)

Rating & Warnings: PG 13.

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3

AO3: Chapter Three

Thanks to @romantichopelessly, @sunshineandteddybears and @paperghastly for pre-reading.

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Chapter Three

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♞ LOGAN ♞

Logan sat at the bar, phone in hand as he watched the front door, waiting for the man that he had just met that morning. If Thomas had told him earlier that day that he would meet a really attractive guy and later agree to have drinks with him, Logan would have inquired whether or not the Dean of Students had lost his mind. Then again, not all the men he met were like this one. And thank goodness, or he would never get any work done. 

 Just then the front door opened and Virgil stepped in. Logan ignored the heat that suddenly radiated from his ears and thanked his lucky stars that the bar they had agreed on was pretty dark due to dim lighting. Virgil reached him and grinned that damned attractive smile. Unfortunately, though he was happy his own blush was hidden, the dim lighting meant he would not be able to see Virgil’s cute blush. 

All the more reason to spend more time with him, Logan, the poet told himself. It was a good thing that he had agreed to spend a whole week with him. 

 Laughing to himself, he reminded himself to not count his chickens before they hatched. 

 Let’s get through tonight first.

 “Hello again, Virgil,” he greeted the emo man, holding out his hand. He watched as Virgil smiled and took it, Though he wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking or not, Logan was fairly certain that the other’s face was just a bit darker across his cheeks. Damn but Virgil blushing did something to him. 

 “Heya, Logan.” A squeeze of his hand and it was released. Virgil took the empty barstool next to him and nodded in the general direction of the nearest bartender. “What’s your poison?”

 Logan considered. 

 “Scotch over ice, please.” 

 Virgil nodded and waved over a bartender. The bartender introduced herself as Quil and Virgil thanked her before ordering Logan a double shot of Scotch on the rocks and a White Russian for himself. 

 “A White Russian?” Logan inquired as he watched Quil walk away to make their drinks. “I am afraid I do not partake of alcohol usually and when I do drink I don’t usually stray from what I know.”

 “No worries, dude. A White Russian is a mixed drink made with Vodka, Kalua--that’s a coffee liqueur--and cream. It’s sweet but not too sweet like a lot of the other mixed drinks out there.”

 Logan nodded. “Why is it called a White Russian?”

 He watched as Virgil opened his mouth to answer but seemed to think better of it because he closed his mouth a second later. He then seemed to be in thought for a good few moments. A few seconds later Virgil shrugged. 

 “You know, I don’t actually know. I assume it is because it’s Vodka and the recipe gives it a sort of white, creamy color… but don’t quote me on that.”

 Logan considered the assumption and nodded. It definitely had merit, even if it wasn’t the actual reason. 

 “I suppose I can see that.” He nodded and allowed the little smile that tugged on his lips to spread across them. Virgil, his dark eyes meeting Logan’s, smiled back. Logan was very pleased to see the skin of Virgil’s cheeks darken just a bit once more. 

 Their conversation was paused when Quil returned with their drinks. Logan took his drink, eyeing Virgil’s with interest and curiosity. He sipped at his own, humming his pleasure as the rich, almost warm flavor coated his taste buds. A contented smile spread over his lips as the liquid slid down his throat and the drink was soon a steady but short-lived burn deep in his belly. 

 Opening his eyes, Logan caught his current company staring at him. When it was clear he had been caught, the other man blushed. This time there was no question in Logan’s mind that Virgil was blushing. A grin slipped onto his lips but he said nothing, allowing Virgil to glance away to catch his composure before the emo man looked his way again. 

 “So… how exactly do you plan to go about this little challenge?”

 Virgil blinked owlishly at him for a few moments, apparently having forgotten the whole reason they had started talking in the first place. Logan waited, certain it would come back to him soon enough. He was correct in his guess as a moment later, Virgil let out a sound of exasperation. 

 “Oh… yeah. Well, I honestly just planned to sit us down and play music for us to listen to… uh… together…”

 Logan smirked. 

 “What makes you think your company alone will make a difference?”

 Virgil shook his head. 

 “I don’t think my company will make a difference… not really. I do think that my insight into the music might help though.”

 Logan nodded. He had to hand it to the man. Though he was quite obviously not in Science or Medicine or Law, the man seemed to be pretty intelligent. 

 Attractive and smart… there is no way this man is this perfect.

 He did wonder at that. Usually, when people seemed too good to be true, it was because they were. Usually, his instincts were pretty reliable when it came to that and when they weren’t, common sense kicked in. In Virgil’s case, however, Logan felt as if he could already trust him. That didn’t mean he would not continue to be on guard but it did mean he could afford to relax a little. 

 Lifting his drink, he watched as Virgil did the same. He didn’t mean to stare but Virgil was far too fascinating. He was also very attractive. Logan was not used to being so interested in someone. Least of all a stranger. And yet, for some reason, Virgil didn’t feel like a stranger. 

 Uh oh. If he was actually feeling things then that was it. He was too far gone. 

 Remy is right. I am a disaster gay.

 He sighed. 

 Unfortunately, Virgil heard it. Immediately the look in the other’s eyes told him all the worries and fears that were suddenly invading the emo man’s mind. 

 Aha. He’s got severe anxiety.

 Well, that was okay. Logan might not have been in tune with his own feelings most of the time but, when it came to anxiety, typically common sense and logic were great combatants against it. 

 “I’m sorry, Logan. Am I keeping you out too late or--”

 Logan held his hand up and shook his head. 

 “No. I want to be here. If I thought it was too late or if I had not wanted to come, I wouldn’t have.”

 Blunt but to the point. No room for argument.

 Virgil still looked like he wanted to argue but Logan knew his logic was flawless and so the man said nothing. That was not good either though. 

 Logan frowned to see Virgil staring at his drink. Logan glanced at it too and it was then an idea came to him. Sure, it was not his style but he had seen similar flirtation tactics throughout his years as an adult and from the little he knew about Virgil, he was pretty sure this one would work. 

 Saying nothing, Logan reached out and took Virgil’s glass in hand, pulling it toward him. Virgil looked at him incredulously, eyes widening as Logan’s lips closed around the very same straw he had been sipping out from. Though he hadn’t necessarily chosen the tactic to taste Virgil’s drink of choice, the moment the concoction hit his tongue, he let out a happy sound. 

 “Oh. Wow. That really is good.” He smiled Virgil’s way, pretending not to notice the sudden flush of Virgil’s face which was now red enough that even the dimmed atmosphere of the bar could not hide it. Logan tilted his head, looking innocent. “You don’t mind sharing with me, right?”

 He then took another sip, this time holding the other’s gaze as he did. Another happy sound escaped him because truly--it was appetizing. Logan licked his lips as he set the glass back down on Virgil’s coaster, gaze still holding that of the other man’s. 

 “Unless you do mind sharing with me?”

   ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆

💀 VIRGIL 💀

“Unless you do mind sharing with me?”

 Virgil was pretty certain that he was dreaming. He had somehow fallen asleep and dreamed Logan agreed to meet him and now that dream had made Logan a flirt and… 

 “Sorry.”

 Virgil blinked and shook his head. 

 “No! No it’s totally fine! Totally cool! No big!”

 Not as if you just indirectly kissed me or anything!

 Except that was exactly what he had done. Still, Virgil did not want Logan to feel as if Virgil minded his company or his tasting his beverage. 

 “We can um… we can share this one and get another after?”

 Virgil couldn’t help the blush that rose in his cheeks once more as Logan smiled agreeably. 

 “Sure. Perhaps you would like a taste of mine?”

 Virgil was so desperate for something to do, he took hold of Logan’s glass, brought it to his lips, and drank. Perhaps a little too deeply. 

 Swallowing hard, he coughed at the sudden intense burn. Setting the glass back down on Logan’s coaster, Virgil quickly drank from his own drink. 

 There’s that indirect kiss.

 Another blush. 

 “Should we flag down the bartender for another?”

 Virgil blinked and looked down at the glass in his hand. 

 “Oh. I didn’t realize I’d finished it.”

 “Well, I may have drank from it at first as a flirtation tactic but it truly is quite satisfactory in taste.”

 Virgil blinked. 

 “You just admitted to flirting with me…”

 This time Virgil caught Logan’s blush and he couldn’t help the smile that slipped onto his face.

 “I just worried that you might be talking yourself out of seeing it so I wanted to confirm… just so there is no question in your mind that I am attracted to you. I am also keeping myself from talking myself out of… whatever this is.”

 Virgil blushed as Logan’s blush doubled. 

 “Aren’t we just a nutty pair?”

 Logan nodded. Virgil smiled and looked away from Logan to flag down a bartender. Quil caught his movements and joined them a second later. 

 “What else can I get for ya?”

 “Two waters and another White Russian please.” 

 Quil nodded and made fast work of creating the beverages. Placing the waters down first, she then placed the White Russian in front of Virgil. 

 Thanking her, Virgil closed out their tab and tipped her. He then turned back to his date and smiled, lifting the glass to sip from the straw before passing it to Logan. He watched as Logan drank a sizable sip before it was passed to Virgil once more. 

 “I was serious, you know?” Virgil began, setting the drink down on its coaster. “About trying to change your mind about music… it wasn’t just an excuse to spend more time with you but… that is definitely a bonus that I don’t feel too bad about exploiting.” 

 He laughed deeply and leaned in closer to the other man who subconsciously mirrored his actions. There was very little space between them now. Virgil took in the other’s stormy grey eyes and the slight bags under his eyes. No doubt from late hours spent up writing. Virgil felt for him. 

 “I know.” 

 Virgil blinked. Logan smirked at him. 

 “It was because you were serious that my interest was piqued.”

 “Oh.” 

 Logan laughed, the sound almost melodic in the way it seemed to caress his eardrums. He shrugged and then slid a little closer to the edge of his barstool. Virgil watched as this caused the other’s knees to press against his own. Swallowing hard, Virgil brought a hand up to rub at the back of his neck but forced himself to hold Logan’s gaze. He hoped it was not wishful thinking that the hungry look he saw in those deep grey eyes was there. 

 “Yeah… not every day some random stranger makes it his purpose to change my mind… which, I should warn you is not an easy task. The fact that you are really attractive and funny… those are bonuses for me. Your passion and conviction for music though, that I find very commendable, so I’ll allow you to try to change my mind. Just don’t be surprised if you cannot.”

 Virgil allowed a sheepish grin. 

 “I’m a lyricist. To me, lyrics are every bit the poetry that poets write. Just put to a melody. The melody pulls people in and the words get people to stay. They get people coming back.”

 “Well, now I understand why you were so adamant.”

 Virgil watched as Logan reached for the White Russian, his own beverage forgotten. He sipped deeply, the contented sound leaving him as his eyes met and held Virgil’s gaze. A smirk slowly slipped onto the poet’s lip as he continued to drink. Virgil raised a brow in curiosity but as Logan only continued to drink from the glass, it became clear that he was not going to stop unless Virgil stopped him. 

 “That good, hm?”

 Logan nodded, eyes bright. 

 “Then who am I to stop you.” 

 And then he winked. 

 Of all the stupid things⁠—oh my he blushes so prettily.

 Logan had indeed blushed at his wink.

 “Did you want—”

 Virgil shook his head. 

 “You drink it… I like the idea that I turned you on to White Russians.”

 Logan laughed at that and finished off the beverage.

 “Do you want another?” Virgil asked. 

 Logan shook his head, setting the glass back on the coaster. 

 “No… I actually don’t spend a lot of time in bars or drinking… not that there’s anything wrong with it, of course. Just do not typically have reason to. I do know, however, that I am not ready to end the night here with you… would you want to maybe walk around for a bit? Unless you need to call it a night. It is getting pretty late…”

 Virgil snorted. “For most people, sure. I don’t do a lot of sleeping at night. Insomnia.”

 Logan nodded in understanding. “Same.”

 Virgil left a couple more dollars for Quil and nodded at the door. 

 “A walk, though, sounds great.”

 Logan smiled and Virgil grinned in response. Neither made any motion to move, however, which had Virgil laughing. 

 “One of us is gonna have to move first and—”

 Lips pressed against his own out of nowhere, Virgil’s eyes widening before his brain and body got back on track with one another. Logan’s eyes were closed and so Virgil closed his own, pressing gently into the kiss. Logan was the one to pull away and it was his turn to look sheepish. 

 “Sorry about that… I just… I just really wanted to kiss you.”

 Virgil shook his head. 

 “No! Don’t apologize. I… I enjoyed it… a lot.”

 Virgil and Logan both blushed and giggled. The giggling only set them off more until they were laughing and clinging to each other. When they stopped to catch their breath, Virgil decided it was his turn to be brave and reached out, framing the other’s face with his hand before closing his eyes as he leaned in to kiss Logan a little more deeply this time. The kiss lasted longer than the first, Logan deepening it halfway through which only urged Virgil on. 

 “Ah… so… that walk…”

 Virgil nodded. 

 “Right. Walk.”

 Logan bit his lip and glanced down at his lap before looking up once more. 

 “My hotel is not far from here…”

 Virgil blushed but nodded.

 “Well, I suppose it’s time I walked you home.”

 With that, Virgil slipped from the barstool and, after some consideration, offered his hand to Logan. The man considered but ultimately took it, slipping off his own bar stool to join him. 

 Together, the two left the bar and walked out into the night. 

  ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆

Disclaimer:  The author does not own Sanders Sides or any of the characters found therein. They are also not affiliated with Thomas Sanders, Joan Stokes, or the Thomas Sanders team. Only the complete story as it is written is the property of the author and is not to be copied or reposted without express permission from the author.

YAS give me more jess/rory analysis PLEASE ❤

I ended up expanding on my season 3 thoughts in another post, so I’ll just ramble on about something different if we’re all good with that!

Let’s discuss how “You could do more.” is, in some ways, the thesis of the whole Rory and Jess dynamic.

When Rory is not amused by his magic trick during one of their very first interactions (what a sentence lmao), it shows that she isn’t going to put up with the facade he puts on in Stars Hollow. She doesn’t shy away from speaking her mind and pushes him to take responsibility for his actions:

“All [Luke] does is stick up for you, and all you do is make his life harder. I guess that's what you have to do when you're trying to be Holden Caulfield, but I think it stinks. (...) Funny, I never pegged you as clueless, my mistake.”

Again, Rory points out the act Jess puts on but this also shows how she isn’t going to just passively allow him to act in such ways because she doesn’t see him as the nuisance/lost cause that much of the town sees him as. Instead, she holds him to a higher standard because she knows he isn’t clueless.

After a well-intentioned suggestion on Rory’s part, we see her at odds with the expectations placed on her by the town as she becomes “the poster girl for censorship” and she can openly discuss this with Jess as someone who would understand where she’s coming from, because he is one person who is not charmed by Stars Hollow’s small town antics. Her future isn’t bound to this place, so when Jess questions what Rory and Dean talk about, saying that ‘he doesn’t seem like her kind of guy’ it adds another layer to that conversation; let’s be real, Jess is not coming from a place of entirely pure intentions but after season 1, Dean is basically the town’s golden boy (despite previously being the new kid in town) and thus is the embodiment of one of the two worlds Rory is caught between throughout the series: Stars Hollow. But right from the Pilot, we know that Rory is set to “do more” than Stars Hollow. That whole sidestory in 2x12 and its relation to Rory could be an analysis of its own, which I don’t think I am equipped to offer at this time...

By 2x13, Rory is pushing against and growing frustrated with Lorelai’s view of Jess. Rory recognises that Jess should not need a tutor, after trying to explain his margin-writing to Lorelai in the previous episode, and it’s clear that Rory believes in Jess in a way that he himself does not at this point. He meets her words of encouragement and “you could do more” with cynicism but Rory remains unconvinced. Schooling should not be a measure of success – and by season 6 it ends up being beside the point anyway – but it is interesting that Jess’ reasoning for not going to college has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with what others have to say about him.

And why aren’t you going to college? (...)

Ask my mother, she could give you a couple reasons. Oh, and I’m sure Principal Mertin can chime in with a few good ones. In fact, ask your mother. She doesn’t know me all that well but I’m sure she could improvise a few things.

Do not give me that whole ‘I’m so misunderstood, Kurt Cobainy’ thing. You are way stronger than that and I don’t even wanna hear it.

That whole conversation in the car really is The Goods. The paths they have planned for themselves could not be more different but still, they offer each other the same unwavering support and encouragement.

I wont go into detail because I think I’ve already addressed this in my previous posts today but “you could do more” comes into play even during their relationship in that Jess, as we know, does not generate the most positive views from the people of Stars Hollow, perhaps believing that Rory could do more, so to speak, than him. If nothing else, the town definitely thinks so.

Jess shows support for Rory’s Harvard-and then-Yale dreams, which is one of many reasons his reappearance in 6x08 works so well. He assumes she graduated early before considering she wasn’t in school; when Rory keeps commenting on how her circumstances are “all temporary” Jess is visibly... I don’t know that I’d say concerned at this point but he is definitely taken aback.

I know it's good. Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it.

I know you did. (...) So, I just basically wanted to show you that. Uh, tell you... tell you that I couldn't have done it without you.

Obviously Jess is confirming her “you could do more” sentiments when he explicitly credits the role she played in helping him find success for himself. In doing so, this reassures Rory that she was right about something after feeling the defeat of Mitchum’s words for however many months by this point, and also reminds her of the ambitions she once had for herself.

Neither of them do or say these sort things for “I want to be with you” reasons but for “I want good things for you” reasons. It doesn’t come from a romantic place – they sincerely want the other to succeed, even if that means being apart. Even after everything that happened, Rory is saying “I hope you're good. I want you to be good.” in that 3x22 phone call, and then this in 6x08:

You know that section toward the front, the staff recommendations? I'm gonna grab a copy of your book and put it in that section, and then I'm going to write my own little recommendation on a card and attach it so people see it and buy it.

Please, that’s just cute :(

Of course it ends up ending in absolute MESS but she goes all the way to Philadelphia to see his open house. Imagine if she hadn’t checked the mail that day lmao

I just got the flier, and I don't know. I just wanted to see your place, but then this...

In AYITL, Jess hears Rory out as she divulges the state her life is in then reassures her that she’s in a rut that she is fully capable of getting out of. “Where is this coming from? What inspired you?” indeed. The implications, y’know??

Now I’m going to circle back to what I said about Dean representing Stars Hollow for a moment here. Logan very overtly represents the world of wealth and like I said, Rory is between these two worlds. Rory is a balance of the world of her grandparents and her mother; what’s interesting about Jess is that he doesn’t belong to either world, really. He can exist in the world of Stars Hollow because of his familial connections and history there and that brings us some little moments that are not at all deep, but I absolutely love anyway:

Can't wait to hear how you bagged the job.

It was the usual thing; I submitted my resume, plus samples of my work, I was thoroughly vetted, there were several lengthy interviews, plus complex negotiations over salary, benefits, parking–

You asked Taylor.

Pretty much.

And then when he asks Rory over the phone to fill him in on the ‘showbiz spat’ in 3x14. Stars Hollow has an important role in Rory’s life, and Jess is able to understand that world in a way that Logan simply can’t – if I recall, he is actually quite endeared by the town when he makes his first official visit there in season 7.

Season 5 makes Dean’s place in Rory’s life very clear, first with “What am I doing here, Rory? I don't belong here. Not anymore.” in 5x08 and then in 5x18, when Dean is used as a direct parallel to Luke:

They want more than this. Don’t you see that? And all you are is this. (...) This town, it’s all you are, and it’s not enough. She’s going to get bored, and you can’t take her anywhere. You’re here forever.

It’s... kind of an odd comparison to make in that Lorelai is quite happy with her Stars Hollow life and hasn’t indicated that she wants “more” than this. For Rory, though, it does reiterate that she wants more than Stars Hollow can offer her. I’ve discussed this before but the world of wealth and Logan, while initially intriguing to Rory, loses its shine during season 6 and she ultimately rejects it in that she doesn’t want to be bound by it. It offers temporary thrills and escapism, but she ends up having to enter the real world.

In Summer, Rory talks about looking at places in Queens so that might be the best, most recent indicator of where Rory wants to be in terms of geography. Just like Rory, Jess isn’t bound to any particular world – bouncing around from place-to-place in the original series, not unlike Rory in the revival – and together... they can do more. And that is that on soulmate-ism!

All in all, they hold each other to high standards not because they idealise one another or put each other on pedestals but because they genuinely believe in each other’s capabilities. They actively push each other to do more and important to note is that they hear each other in these moments; maybe not always immediately but they get there eventually because by the end, it’s clear they have a certain respect and fondness for each other. I like that they don’t passively roll along with whatever the other chooses to do, which may be the very reason some people don’t like them. As much as their dynamic evolves with time, there are just some things that remain a constant...

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There is still a Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster shouldn’t stiffand rigid it is relax a little bit of your post is’s little slack to exert effort to correct Paul shows so that’s the balanceand third quality is the window still awareness is for keeping the back straightand of course your hands on the lapis balance gesture balance to be the spine straight is the is that what I know so when is present fireand theand so you well your checking the posture on the way upand downand when read the possible is slightly improved bullshit slow to do so while you’re at it in the back as you scan your Paul shoulder from the feed to the on the crownand then you have this is the fourth qualities awareness so that is all about LOL how long carefully Perez not harried not too slow all the way you scan upand then just into universal scanning the on so you’re doing the posture to know each Paul shows this symbol of the poll showsand check correct the poll showing the quality of stability of the balance of the world to the awareness of the fiveand inside of an element so in this way scan your body upand down for good six loops around I call that one batter insert after there is six surrounds take a shop short in a break after that Jane scanned the posture of the doing the knowing checkingand correctingand then feeling both show sewing this for you scan upand down up to see if every six surrounds take a short minute breakand then again sit in the Paul shows I leave you to it all for the first load of time keeping your posture in good order as you have all been guarding that from the last slow time though this time you keep old the stillness of the everything the body the days alliesand the bedroomand so on the third one live Brother is the stillness of attention this time your attention should be run abundantly for this on your breath so stillness means one point so you one point in ill knowingly in her see the oxygen coming old the healing properties all the goodness you can bring in rental is inspire in this with inhalation as the season goes into the chestand love just imagine permeatesand going to the bloodstreams it promotes a wellnessand healingand rejuvenates your whole mindand bodyand spirit with this mine hold the breath spread the breath in the chestand everywhereand then as you breathe out slowly bring up an intention in the body while these fears anything suffering of the world breathe out with the holding in your mind just breathe out also the sword carbon is releaseand this failure exile send this way to stay with inhalation when inhaling staying with his retention rented holding the breathand then stay with accelerationand breathing out each of them finally do them to inspireand him have two rejuvenated when you hold the breath to releaseand let go of an XL so do six surrounds theand after every six surrounds then take a minute break so the surgery the second slot of time he remained still in the Paul should get his do not forget to do the breathing know what is supposed to be thinking free effectand in this way keep your attention so Chrisand time your duration of the batter food no more than six rounds after every six to take a minute break don’t let the mind wonder all fall go doll the forgetful lazy to the Bolshevik stick the abiding in this really mindfulness on holding three stillness of the object environment the postureand the days allies know the full stillnessand this time is one pointedly focusing your attention not only doing would qualify round of breath but dutifully counting without losing the account without compromising the actual quantity so the quality of you all in breathand attention Brad accelerationand then count them at the end of each exhalation meant Tijuanaand to console up to say 21and it’s most likely to succeed to reach that without losing the Then take a minute break when you reach the 21 should you readand distractedand the whale somewhere without being distracted by the distraction just use to take a useful minuteand then started to succeed to reach the top of 21 000 account try to increase the sharpness resolution of the rebound breathand then tried those counting starting with 21 for the first round once finished the culture into theand then to the next swing in the next only do knowand seeand feel each effect all three segments around breath finish that been count night send this was still very focusedand attentive mindfully staying with the full were those counting of cold hole toand the do all the the home on all the old all so thank you for joining with the meditation of cruiser meditation is in Oakland is best done when you don’t have to look at the screenand someone leading your butt look at screen your own mindand but because this time we are doing this guiding this meditation as part of our regular tradition so that today’s topic of the talk is motherhood in Buddhism the mother in Buddhism so because today’s a Mother’s Day dinner when this was injured using internationally but to the role of mother in Buddhism this is very important so I will try to address this topic all for remembering all motherand her kindnessand how to go all develop a consignment of some people have difficulties with the mother the need to reconcile’s because if they don’t reconcile that is probably the many of the problems in life is the repetition of that is so in the context of I would like to draw give this dole in context of the four Noble truths to the suffering of the slides to the truth of suffering is the suffering that as we have faith to do with our mother colonial peoples so still suffering with the mother of the problem is to do with the motherand and the end I think her mother is the problemand so therefore that life is somewhat to somewhat damaged by that something else to do with the motherand parties shall mother has a role to do so that’s the truth of suffering the truth of origin of the South suffering that one has with the mother is not reconciling with mother not to the paying kindness not realizing how sufferingand not realizing how signifiesand all being selfishand the not to the seeing what all Mother’s Day but we only see what we didn’t get for my mother so this greedand self centeredness is the true origin of the suffering to do with one’s motherand theand then them so the then the remembering the kindness of motherand so onand wanted to practice a consignment with mother is of course the truth of the noble truth of the path that because you will be able to try to practice righteous to choose with lovingkindness so much of the tall gone thatand hopefully they will be the truth of cessation decision is that there is no longer the same problemand anger is a Zen man then our children to to do with the heavens above with the mother but in the in relation to that first I would like to just go back to the Godand his mother when the Buddha was the widow was born when he was better which is why we called the consumer with year old it was just one week old souland young his mother passed away’sand the so therefore Buddha was did not really have an actual lot of time to spend his time with his mother he probably knew that the chose to conceive of the timeand he did so nevertheless it is said that when Buddha was the meditating of the beach just before the couple maybe couple of weeks or days before his attainment of Enlightenment so the sum of the day was informed of the Buddha’s mother who she has been being reborn in the heaven of the threat through them God’s informed half saying that your son has deserted your palaceand deserve your husbandand he has not fulfilled her wishesand expectations of the per patternsand his wife that he has a abandoned the childand wifeand he’s now about to die of starvationand sold so therefore them in the mother from the accuses heaven the 33 rounds looks down he also could see the house the Prince about the is indeed the is a emaciated bodies become so thinand weakand sitting under a tree almost like a slug of minutes of Scott so she criedand wafted to sitand when she criedand said the teardropand blue those lapsand it is then the Buddha broke silenceand told his mother that her mom please do not to be ill informed by the day was but I’m about to win enlightenment in the very shortly so I would visit so that is the storyand thenand not so long after his attending enlightenmentand turning the wheel of domicile enough he actually then visited us he told her in on the end of his disciples that he has to go to teacher his motherand then he went to to the heaven of threaded throughout God for three months three months to repair kindnessand revenge of the people of the Dharmaand other teaching to the heaven of the interim goals including his mother so that’s example of how Buddha interrupted from his three months I wish Abbé Scholz know me from this worldand then he wentand talked to the dogma to his mother so that is the life of Buddhaand so also goes with the I can remember that this is such a pundit the antigen century so that heand his mother was very illand cannot go suffering while largely the illnessesand could not spend a good nights sleep all day since very longand so onand also he was as a celebrated Buddhist monkand teacher she wrote this special style Jim will rebuild this is the book was called demo rebirthing but actually it was a how to entertain his mother’s teaching other Buddhists a pathand status of Enlightenmentand the soulsand subsequently his writing has become a are damn all boardgame in Tibetan Buddhism then couple of American scholars of Tibetan Buddhist scholars have turned that bull right into text called demo report in order to teach his mother to repair kindness sold the gray masses have have done a lot of great work so today I’m going to really help you to focus on how youand I also as a as a as a child of our mother can best best learn to to approach the all all perception of motherand change by reflecting on heart kindness first for its it’s important to call my mother very lovinglyand very redand set my kind mother my kind motherand if you can say that you’re my kind motherand just try to see her face just try to see remember the times that she been very kindand does this remember the time that she had she she has she has become a very oldand then how much himand his suffering not from the day that she she conceive you all what must have how delighted Moshe have been as found a found a gem all all what ever so all mother from the very day that she conceive us in in in hot womb as she she was willing to forbear all hardships physical hardships emotional hardships as well as financial constraint is water whatever a professional kind of a risking to the sacrifice she had to make a lot of women when they become pregnant they basically have to have to give up their career or give up the positions than mothers or mothers have done that so therefore try to remember imagine old the what the what a physicaland emotionaland financial difficulties all mother would’ve gone through the G June 1 time June 1 ignition timing me when she considerately conceived in in a mouse in her womb almost should put up with a hard life at the online so to speak she did put half live online so that she can that usand bring up bring bring bring up in this world so so therefore it’s very important to remember what what takes to become the to what takes to become a biological mother just carrying the baby for nine monthsand 10 days to be exact according the third but also wrote a very beautiful all time about about her confessing all the sufferings of mother who he knows that is partly due to him being is said because childand he says my mother you carried me nine monthsand 10 days in your bodyand the ever increasing weight of my body has completely sort of sag your bodyand jeopardize your other activities in life but nevertheless you put your live onlineand are used voluntarily accepted all the sufferings on all full photos to me to be born into the world then from the moment that the you will bond be up on even though we were helpless but she completely is no embrace all body with hot warmth of our bodyand clean the dirtand filled inand the snoband the old old you know whatever we remix every Minnesota come out a waste of my Bob orders she would clean itand wipe itand the anything to put in her womb armsand look at look at with a kind eyesand called with a very sweet namesand theand the that she wouldn’t even even drink on warm food or drinks but instead she would rather she would rather delay them until we are totally comforted on Julia settle downand theand breast feed us old her physical needs into strength whatever strengthand energy she has even that she would rather let that do all the bodily energy of how she would breast feed usand that wasn’t just for today just for today or one night continues for 2 to 2 years she should continue to hold us she wouldn’t to go out even for a day even for couple hours is as we will be will more precious than hop on life what one of the debating places that we were treated as own piece of hot dinnerand the from which charcoal also ways to keep us from dangerand protect us from the coldand heatand it never would do to part from our all moment she would do all kinds of things so that the solid food could is not easy to swallow all the mashed with our fingers thingsand then try to feed us even though even though we are not corporative to to do that she fed us slowly you know that the that the weather whatever even though we can just lie down where reports she would not leave us alone she will constantly keep a watch so that she wouldn’t dare to do anything for Hamas should become the constant care constant God closed in sort of a poetical like a herder like it is animal you’re constantly hurting them to become the most helpless the thing that highlight has found but most preciousand she therefore has it just old half signifies all to how timeand enjoyment in activitiesand interest but completely giving us giving us the to the foodand clothes warmthand the not letting us to face any hardships what whatever she would shoot even though we couldn’t understand a single word she was still speak tirelessly many words our conversations one work one way conversation but she just just the way we look baby smile she would that were to the only comfort she has but she would constantly told conferencing constantly tell storiesand thenand not the mindand on hardships that she has brought us up in these ways that she doesn’t have any time to do spiritual things to do Mondayand things all of that she riskand put aside but the tirelessly not just one day or night so that she constant her whole life become totally busy just to give him to bring me up so how could possibly can we can we forget all the Titus title is word that our mother didst just to give us bothand itand it realized until as far as we could Kroll even though we could crawl that wasn’t enough though because she could she wouldn’t because we can call now she’s afraid that we may we may wonder off to those dangers placesand then stingsand therefore she would do she would not dare to part anywhere she would constantly keep an eyeand theand therefore make herself like a most dedicated’s most devoted companion terrorand the endand the one who loves theand the seizures she she she could not depart for us even for a moment so all of how they relate to saved wealth all property shouldand did you use junior high youth she may have to do do additional job more than two or three jobs over all those that is a savings that she didn’t day to spend she would buy everything that for our need for those clothes whether it’s a toys whether it’s us other necessities that we need for usand the whole body is constantly not losing strengthand energy to shapeand form what mention all the stress she would not remind us to the she would not mind to signifies any of that dispense to give to spell to us so that we we will not be the be called or hungry or thirsty or unattendedand and so on so all mother has has become basically oldand frailand and dependentand sometimes emotionally very depressedand tiredand sleepless but she still would not’s complaint are single word to us but she rather where all about those hardships willingly on on on ourselvesand theand the eventually she ourselves would have scored if some of us have for us all mother still alive then you would know she’s 20 3040 years older than you probably in a nursing homeand theand theand how much attention she did when she has become now helplessand oldand and the end themand lonelyand need company that how much of timeand companyand things are weand have been willing to do so that those of us who whose mothers’ just imagine she has completely partedand left everything behindand she had to go to the on net uncharted territory of next live in the bottles over having having to carry all the that she created on behalf of us just to bring us up to much physicaland emotional that she she would have she would have to go through all of that she she she herself was parted from this physical world but emotionally older that she has created to bring us up all she has to carry like a burden to to go to those difficult places placesand and spaces so what we doing about is is we need to remember all mother’s suffering mother sacrificesand mother’s kindnessand how much since our early days all mother’s physical bodyand how condition had deteriorated due to illness agingand later on by death that even when half of any precious body still wasn’t was a taken twos like symmetry or something you knowand andand all in those in the West because they they would put in a very shiny ball so you don’t see that in the in the traditional they were there would still a lot of take the body into symmetriesand a letter letter to be deposed to decompose all eaten by by bio Wawa animals like vulturesand so on because been out even if all sing all the has all the pieces of body become so strewnand taken away by means but there’s nothing she can do about that so that’s that’s that’s that’s our life so we have become rather like orphan who couldn’t do anything we we would we may we made love all mother but we do can do a thing in terms of risk to half from suffering of all digital signalsand yet we kindness when you think about it is safe is the truth of the responsibility fell on us which many of you will as a biological mother if you have been your self mother just of the same amount of physical care emotional careand the financial signifies you have made as a mother you your mother would have made same if not more some people may have some sad stories of not getting the same situation but but even that these cannot blame your mother your mother is a and how on stressand hardshipsand difficulty were largely due to having taken up the liberty to give all of that to to awes so therefore we should still remember my kind old mother my kind old mother thinking that my own kind old mother’s when she has to part when she has to about that from these life she doesn’t have any medics to take so much metal to take with us because of the all of the car and difficulties that she she she she she she went through are largely the note can be cannot be shared by you or shared with anyone else yet all the better that she created that are negative audit objects was largely her intention was just for the sake of all on alland all on being so therefore being able to think of mother is that in many send some of us would have no opportunity to to repair the kind his mother because she’s dead already others some of use if you have your mother is still alive it’s very important to going to consult with us part of the reason that you all she was still very negativeand miserable was because you have any consult with your mother if you have any consult your mother that is the part of the problem but you couldn’t really hold your your friendship with anyone else for very long is because you have is resentment to basically reflect everything as you did to to the mother to everyone elseand the certificate some goes with the father as well so those who consult with the veteransand the mother in particularand those who learn to be consult it’s never too late so so therefore today’s a good day to the two how to how to go to consult with your mother at least tell half of that you have you have you have come to the moon your own selfishnessand the not being so grateful I have not been very courteousand apologize halfand even apologize all for the sake of peaceand I’m not talking about a severe mother was a was was perfect but you didn’t see how that red doesn’t mean that your mother still was a human being every human being has has a lot of imperfect perfect characteristic as well as very good perfect a good characteristic so don’t try to idolize anybody’s mother anybody’s mother’s everybody every mother has has horn on opinion about how child as well so therefore the everybody every mother would be perceived differently accordingly those people who who have the goodness to to see the motherand hot amount of the graph hardshipsand signifies that all mother has enjoyed it should do we should grow up right nowand not’s not sit on this very awkward point of view oafs is smokingand reflecting to the motherand hard treatment oath towards oneself as being non acceptable disrespectful whatever it is but even then we should now to grow that life is so shortand let before she dies going to consultand say I’m sorry on I’ve grown to accept you a fix of you as you are rather than trying to make some negative comparison with others so therefore being able to remember all kind mothersand motherand see how much she’s passes become old become sickand become dependent of the committee sadand lonelyand put yourself in our shoesand try to therefore learn to repack kindnessand so his mother weptand even in the 7030 could not bear to to to stay in a mall but he promised to the visitand he did he visited half a member both of those mother in the have the heaven of that the roundsand then then Dave spent all this time giving teachings to half so what is it that you can do to to repair the kindness of mother himand Bullock could say you know my mother wasn’t there when I was young because she died a week beforeand after he was born so he had hardly known as a biological mother with this list onto your stepmother’s up to go to maintenance stepped in she did thisand it becomes a stepmother because she stepped in to take over the role of my undatedand and brought him upand so on even then brother was in the top of that deliberately took all the way time to go to the the Heaven of 33 roundsand spend the timeand give the teaching so hence we have this Buddhist festival cope with the descending from the heaven that’s is descending from heaven after having to spend time to repair the hot kindness in the know he could not repay kindness to his mother in the same life so you should not think it’s too late to repair the kind as her mother even say your some of your mother pasta way you can still goand do something because you read because we don’t know where your head hits of our mother is reborn but is possible that she is still wondering in some solderand and she has no no one to care for no one to remember how so therefore it your will never go astray if you as a as a as a child who has remember eyes orphaned by the mother’s absence even though we read helpless agreement we must still remember how kindness who all mother these how much older all weekand she might be in the systemand even though we want to go looking for hollow shucking when Buddha could see where he’s mother is we couldn’t not see how the could not call on themand she will hear so we are completely different vasectomy recording where the mother is couldn’t call a nameand where she went on since a but nevertheless we should still can do all memories I remember hot kindnessand see how helpless we are now but nevertheless feel indebted to to remember hot kindness when you remember some people’s kindness then you definitely feel grateful to gratitude that we are able to seal all will greatly so warm up loving feeling will come from all hotand you have a loving kind loving feeling towards all mother then you would no longer presentand develop brood it will all all all talk negative thing some people of you have seen that all the big window here Buddhist about you remember the kindness mother repair kind of thisand I forgot I remember of any kind is my my mother did become very very hostile to the whole idea that we have to be kind to her mother of course these are some people have that kind of karma of not having had any pleasant experience with’s mother and that is also to do with so therefore we do is we should picture the bed we should try to try to modify the by by remembering such as Mother’s Dayand tried to light a candle or remember kindnessand tried to bury your egoand try to be consult withand think of their great contribution inand get to the kind of that she bestowed upon us even though we do not have even though many loving motherand a son of a child’s will close our loving bell juju goalsand conditionedand no one has freedom to spend the time ever with the mother all this you have to go when you least want to go away from her mother she you go away from how she went away from your souls so therefore how much she but yet she gets almost like hot has been taken out of our love alive yet you know we we have left off motherand she has can’t see us say your mother is alive but she can see you because you are so busy you’re being successful or whatever but still what is success if you don’t have time for your mother to success is jeopardizing your well being so your material to weld is successful people don���t spend time with veterans old to seek all all on lonelyand then they leave it until last minuteand then they’ve been to have a lot of guilt of the colonial peoples depression is because they didn’t do that the right things to the parents to the mother while they need them why they most pertinent time to repack kindness when they seekand lonelyand old that time what is you your success means she can’t barely see you or spend quality time with how even when you spend time with our you don’t you you are you or you don’t do this Ted aspects to all speak courteously lovingly to the then then there is every reason for hard to be very upset so therefore we have to do to try to do the right thing to repair the kindness of parents while they are aliveand dead they are there one day you would be then when she’s died or what ever you would be depressed for a long time peoples depressionand anxietyand the volatility of the emotional instability the mind so emotionally we is because they haven’t really warmed up the heaven really done the real work will homework to do to to repair the kindness of one’s wedding loving mother them every single mother mother by nature biologically is kindand selfless in front of do a child enter not to remember that the kindness of all one’s mother is a great is a is of so therefore in Buddhist teaching emphasized motherand remembering the mother as the first practice not only the mother but see old singeing beings as mother not just from this life but from Paul’s life’s the difficulty that we have in certain people in the end in this lab is also buys lives mother’s beautiful witch with whom we have reconciled so therefore reconciling with all motherand and do not talk about how mistakes all hard wrongdoing but thinkable the sacrifice you made when you do that then you can see while someone else’s nobody will be able to do that like my mother did to me so therefore I should be able to have the goodness to forgive her even of hot mistakesand who hasn’t got mistakes in your sofasand also is a better window mother would have would have said if your sister for the same criticisms that you think about your mother what would you think say your son or daughter are all thinking having the same attitude as you have with your mother ones what would you think what you feel my children are so ungratefuland then she was completely it is same as your parent going through so the karma is very very escalating this off not reconciling with parents is very heavy it will really get you result it hasn’t got you up so that’s why the remembering the dryness of motherand and are doing something to her while she is alive make sure that your visit all the time that you spend is different than you really she really mixed to get to know that she have come to growand become strongand grown to become wiseand starting to really speak kindlyand lovingly to our small acts of kindness we should do a video visit to be very very sweetand short very very unimpeded by your normal behavioral reactionsand rebelliousness all over the child father tried to be very good consented to speak kindly thank how things give credit to offer all the things you areand you have actually that’s true your educationand knowledge just noise financial independence where you are in love you would be there have not been all the hard work you did your parents did in your life being able to thing these will make our students made us to grow in the heartand therefore have you will even when she dies all even in your old as you would never regret not having be consult the better you will feel all it was a long journey but in theand I’m so glad I be consult with my mother you always speak fondly of the mother might kind old mother you will speak to my Kino some people can’t even said so the mother my mother but is assimilated that the that they can’t even speak kind informed me the name of the mother so they don’t say my dear mother my kind old your mother they don’t it as they consider that they just they just have this only negativeand very vindictive identity is the associate that is a very heavy heavy and this will slowly not already what impact you all the behavioraland emotional problems if you have some emotional problems that rooted in that not not on the inability to do the conservative mother then it affected you with your husband over the wife all the gifts with whoever you are working with you always reflect them with that kind of resentment because that is what is is like a perpetuates negative perpetually negative things unnecessary guns of the positive if you create a positive to reconcile the negative was then slowly you will see the kind old mother even your own body your own nose you on our accent is exactly like your mother can see the how much of your bloodand your your muscleand your everything is the mother’s sweatand tears so therefore it’s very important to learn to repair the kindness to repay kindness constitute soon doing things lovingly speaking things respectfullyand feeling warm emotionand Mecca feel that youand us so therefore when you repair the kindness you usually do loving loving things you do generous things to do small things for hard on her own termsand don’t question about who is right is wrong what would she will do is make a happyand if she remembers you making a hot hippie few times before she pauses a way that is that’s going to be’s just so you knowand are feeling a remedy to all the problems in your self will also will it will latch to do the shift the amazing power of love part of kindness part of him even if you have referees in the Buddha for what doesn’t need you need you need your good hard to reconcile with your mother sent in a lots of people of all have a very warm feeling towards him but with their own home with her own mother over the only major familiesand most closes one that treating each otherand estranging each other with some resentment over small thingsand let that grow a huge problemand not even talking to each other for days years months this is the biggest problem in the mutualistic Western societies where they they don’t have the bond of loveand respect to the elderlyand barons for the hardship they have in Jordan that signifies the instant remembering them they remember few negative episodes in their life a childhoodand then lumber the bearand with that that is the true’s true origin of suffering so here the therefore her to to reconcile with that one needs to practice kindness generosity toleranceand compassion with all motherand even if your mother’s note around still you can start to check attitudeand change attitude about how not from negative to nonnegative from the negative to positiveand then from positive it’s very warmand and as a result of that you will you have ever feel indebted to your mother said you have a good husbandand maybe have a good wife all maybe a good job but where would you get those things without your mother has a heaven given breast fed you once you cleanse you just wanted to do for all those years until you are able to do your own thing how many years it took before you become grumbly independent who did all the hot lifting to to be where you are so not being able to remember the kindness of motherand barons is easy is a laudable obstacle to to your spiritualand emotional upliftmentand and contentment have just gone Denman in life you really bit unhappy in life show old people have some disheveled but much of them has completed folk will have stem have stemmed from your not reconciling with your mother so therefore remember your mother only once a year on Mother’s Day is of closes it is a is a really really really delicious at issue remember the mother every day every dayand every day we should to think of kindnessand compassionand all the contribution she has made to your lifeand all the speak kindly about howand a repair kindness of your mother to your mother did not try to do some other people who also mother of all to the elderly woman who doesn’t have children who doesn’t get much from them try to be kind to them as slowly much so how many mothers mothers have been misunderstood by the childrenand have been completely estranging the never get a they never get about that than it was a happy Mother’s Day it’s a really despicable so therefore it’s important to repair the kindness of our mother as best as one can watch if possible to hire while she’s alive to not at least someone who’s near his dears to her that tell how the day that you have a consult with halfand you totally forgive how apologize offand would never thinkand talk in the negative way that you normally do try to make up some shiftand change it into youand your attitude about how one how one one thing so once a mother because if you have change your thought about your mother then you will you will have the cessation of the suffering related with mother if you have a consult with your motherand make peace with hall make peace with all theand then you you you will you will be much kinder to yourselfand other mothers as well because otherwise there is is a business amazing kind of a home view that you continue to hold that the regarding your motherand you’re not therefore that’s that’s the true origin of your suffering is suffering is not because you have all of the problems who doesn’t but fundamentally not being able to having loving feeling towards your mother mother is is everyone’s soles of real joyand happinessand gratitude majority people’s also join happinessand gratitude is the motherand show your husbandand wife sure that you met them only when you’re going to do a whatever what but who brought it up to to be able to meet such a wonderful husbandand wife all job or whatever so be considerate of all where you all to be able to get what you are you where you figure someone is a wonderful new life but your mother isn’t you have not grown up at all so that’s why it’s very important to effectively utilize this Mother’s Day not only a look at your mother’s photoand the spent couple moments to in front of itand meditateand try to express your gratitude loveand and if the necessary forgivenessand the thing and if she’s alive give out a cold really do not wait anymore some of you have not called your mother you still think she’s wrong all you think it’s your fold either way it’s a waste of time but tried to kill the time by pick up the phone while he hold a whole holder phone or something like that in your life that you’re not reconciling with your mother so therefore the part of lovingkindness it tools your mother can make yourself doubly empowered to be able to consult with your mother with your mother so that’s why today’s talks is not only because his Mother’s Day but also I was thinking because this is of a soft week they suddenly according to Theravada Buddhist calendar which most Buddhists are terrifiedand in the country’s death celebrating they suckedand lost the tested is actually the full moon but some are still celebrating this weekand so therefore I was just reflecting on the Mother’s Dayand remembering about the Buddha’s life soand also today Okamoto Bliss are celebrating this out according to this calendar so it’s very good to remember on that ice I said I would try to try to respond to your comments or questions online so if I would just come up to here because I haven’t been able to do that in the past hello everyone a lot of you have joined the what British rider is my mother in this lie was not good mother did not show love is narcissisticand the now we are a strange area I’ve just spoken about Susie’s it’s a it’s in the mother that did that has been difficult to you the old half of physical suffering to bring you up to give birth to youand the amount of those time this should better than a half suffering was mainly many snowballed on top of not being whatever good mother we asked you but nevertheless she would have tried our best so do not to try to see her as someone who was meanand wasn’t really nice at all you may have seen that way because body you are selfish to not to remember how sector flies what she made this you tried to think of the what signifies she has made what you as a daughterand if you have become a mother yourself you will know how different you have been maybe you have been a remarkable motherand you you just resisted resenting that your mother wasn’t quite as good as you but how could you be such a good mother you have known to become good mother because her experience of not having had a good mother but that’s your your way of explaining to her to yourself but in theand through my your mother’s suffering of not being a good mother has actually given you the birth to be a strong woman to give good sort of love shows childhood to your childrenand theand us while you might still have something to consult with a but to you should not all do anymore speaking to her but all were said to speak to her quickly really take couple moments in your daily meditationand the visualizer mother look at a photoand say mom look I I have been presenting in exchange you from all these years this is not good for me all will all I’m I’m happy to comeand talk to youand try to make a really good contribution without further delay to to talk to herand phone all right a very nice messageand try to make peace with half because when you are able to do that then then the suffering that we have the suffering that we have to do with mother is because not because she has been scores of suffering to you but because so suffering of youand your mother is has turned you to meet with Obamaand look at the teachingsand try to turn to compassion so your suffering has become cause of your compassion so your mother sending beingsand overage your mother is the primary person is a great catalyst for you to become where you are now maybe have become much more kinderand compassionate not to be as aggressive all not got kind of notes generous as much as someone may have been but the but nevertheless it has it has taught you how to meet with the Dharmaand no longer waste anymore time we all empathize each other’s difficult. Welcome to be like a three podcast this episode is sponsored by the Clinton weekand Elder scrolls legends little after I sent my sponsor big Kelly area that does sound like I just a reminder which now number there we are also to get the pockets of their we are on spot if I went sound cloud keep that shit introducing our guest listen he’s my he’s frankly my favorite guest on this podcastand just their time on to joint privilege possible LOL thanks for coaxing thanks for having me again probably had in like you have your eye on the silencing elevate you not soirée your fall dealer that later I am the entourage’s been traveling the worldand its drinking Simon J it’s on the show that just shows adjusted to part two I like to consider the journey so the travels for the Bishop yeah this is the shows just happen you happen to be in Italy you like to do is I’m last I like that that the lab in the average out of the lot shit doneand it’s tiring I always think that touring looks so exhaustingand I look like shit now you a you on about I love that you just did the great thing is the use embrace your thinking that your who you are like you just fucking you just a guy that Gladys ago beautiful blue eyes I can send you are guide we cannot imagine that I’m really just a guy your eyes look like hamburger thank you so much love you more than just the icing guy with a couple hamburgers in his eyes can live but it is better since then you’ve just a little recap here but rockstar number one Billboard is still number one fuck me like two months Buffalo my mom’s been texting me every time explaining other play may hereand when you hear you monster met with my month to my mom got I could tell you a Muslim pit out of me I was super every time I go to friends as they like him on that when a guy that is mildly okay about the again nice to see a man momand a cigarette since last summer love our tradition just like trying to stop now I am I just not a smoker but I like to get where mild young women from you I like additionally their method or you big ideas for what it is a friendand because of its first live is is about the protocol on the lake got the Canon has to be that the negative booklets the first third have Marvin alliteration arriving not really come out to those candidates is a method think on that side of life in this pack will ship is billed as a backand had a like a camelbackand have a really a whole backlog at the top I talk about it yet so talking had to know when we first got on the street when this prop company building then we went out to Hollywood to fill in the moment put it on I swear got the 80 poundsand the moment put on all my fucking God how I can make it to this day I saw Dan come at the escalator to meet usand he was like holding it was this guy exaggerating how everything is I put it on other economic it to the state after five minutes the strap broke off our dates away is pretty dramaticand I went to go to like it was the height of the name LA while I was laying on the lawn that cheated you youand they know then yes that’s my by the way you should treat yourself yet I get I’m waiting I’m hoping honestly actually for us to go to Vegas I want to go aware that now that gets you really show me up the yeah I think I think Vegas is like my escape from the norm because I get to her fun stuff yeah I did have a time when I got I’m gonna buy a matching fit in with you I said if we rather have a kid red carpet event logo wearing matching Gucci checks it’s the super care he has a valid has a calendar the calendar that is forgiving as I’d say that story about I when I went like 95 grand you start with I think I have no case I was in Vegas like a nice anecdote I love now this is a niceand I’ve really added to this is great out from Vegas is a rare yeah yeah no it’s not nice Abby but it’s a great story of a nice story but it’s not nice items on because it is says shows a grandson of me I can do this I go in for the night using a like 15 grand ready go cash ready to playand so. Jesse Holmes of North Carolina pushing for years for anti gay restrictions in federal education law because the homosexuals are out to recruit in the schools in 1995 Congressman Pete Hoekstra’s committee convening hearings on parents schoolsand values hearings that impart investigated gas homosexual recruitment in the schools the proponents of proposition eight in California the proposition to rollback gay rights in that state making their case just last year as I fall down the slippery slope to make this argument Anita Bryant Jesse Helms random anti gay orator guy you make this argument they oppose gay people civil rights because the people are out to get them on facts like making the case were to save the children from the homosexuals who prey on them logical step to get the kids are going to protect the kids keep gays away from the kids keep gays from being declared normal protect people’s rights to fire people for being if they don’t work with them protect people’s right to pick something out of the housing for being if you don’t live near the children counteract the recruitment show homosexuality is wrong make homosexuality illegal sexuality have severe punishments severe punishment may be gay mind that is a logical fallacy the slippery slope if it really happens the arguments made by anti gay activists ultimately redound to serious legal proposals to kill people for being gay in October 2008 Uganda held its national prayer breakfast the national prayer breakfast is an event started by the family mostly known as the street here in the US powerful secretive religious organization in the US with ties to many members of Congress or the founders of Uganda’s national prayer breakfast a member of the familyand the idea of an event associated with that breakfast that you should have a gays law that homosexuality should be punishable by life in prison for the case of aggravated homosexuality should be punishable by death a few months later in March of last year’s the guy from the family who drafted the bill hosted a delegation of anti gay activists from the United States preachings of people are children right recruit in the schools also said nobody is stopped being a if they don’t want to be a learned behavior can be cured a few weeks after their visit to kill the case bill was introduced in while the anti gay populist pressand the country started campaigning this publication published a list of allegedly gay Ugandans along with in many cases their addressesand their photos is a small yellow banner underneath the word underneathand Uganda’s says because American connections to this the fact that the authors a member of the family which is tied a lot of American politicians thirsty streetand elsewhere because the result of publicity or criticism for the kill the case bill from our president’s secretary of state law to the politicians associated with the street is fairly widely believed because of the coverage of the Kelly gays thing is over it’s not its author expected to be voted on in a matter of weeks at its author is here in the United States promoting Anita Bryant’s old line that is only doing this to save the children the author of Uganda’s killed gays bill joins me at the bottom of the slippery slope next recently know basically anything about C St See Other related products: Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster

Typography workshop

Today we worked at expanding our knowledge of type and how we can use our choices in font design to communicate what the word means without needing to read it. To do this we researched the history of type and how different parts of history have change the way letters look, for example adding serifs to your type makes it have a more olden days theme to it due to serifs being much more common hundreds of years ago. We also used collaging to further communicate the word chosen. 

The history of type

Type is constantly changing but has developed a lot since the beginning of the practise of reading and writing as now we have may different fonts and styles of writing, even down to us now having vast more variety in colour of ink and more access to them.

The creator of the first typeface was Johannes Gutenberg, and it was based on the scribes that the monks would write by hand, as before printing, the monks would have the job of scribing everything, which obviously wasn’t very time efficient and would cost a lot of money. The type was called “blackletter” and had very thick vertical lines paired with very thin horizontal lines, which worked very well when the monks scribed it but worked bad when printed due to the extreme contrasts between the thicknesses.

A fix for this was created by Nicholas Jenson, with the creation of “roman type”. The name and design of this typeface was inspired by the writing he would see on ancient Roman buildings, with the basis being straight lines and regular curves. It is extremely legible when printed and therefore worked well in replacement of blackletter, and had huge success at the end of the Renaissance. 

After roman type, Aldus and Manutius created “Italics” at the end of the 15th century, a stylised of roman type with slanted letters. When it was first invented it was as a means to fit more letter onto a page and save money, but now they are used as a way to create emphasis as they are used sparingly within normal roman type.

Not a lot changed for a couple hundred years until the 18th century when William Caslon created “old style” a style of type with fixed serifs and low contrast between thick and thin lines, making it a new standard for the legibility of type. A serif is a small line at the end of the major lines on a letter used on all lettering in the early days of printing and writing but isn’t as common nowadays, despite still being used in most publications and a lot of fonts.

Following old style, Baskerville made what is now referred to as “Transitional” typeface, which has thinner serifs and more contrasts in comparison to old style. Didot and Bodoni soon after made “Modern”, which contains extremely thin serifs and the highest contrast out of the 3 typefaces. These are now the three categories in which most serif typefaces will fit.

Eventually the serifs were removed by William Caslon’s great grandson, creating “sans serif”. This is very common now and is the type of typeface I am using right now, but it didn’t catch on at first, despite finally gaining traction during the 2nd industrial revolution, which was a big turning point within the growth of type. During this time sans serif fonts were used a lot on billboards as they are so bold and easy to read. This led to a lot of experimentation with serifs and the creation of “slab serif”, which had very thick serifs, perfect for titling. 

As a backlash to 19th century typefaces, in the early 20th century Paul Renner made “futura”, a simple sans serif font based around geometric shapes, therefore nicknamed “geometric sans”. Other sans serif fonts similar to this were created following futura, the first of which being “gill sans” made by and named after Eric Gill. It is a version of futura with more natural and less harsh curves, and therefore is commonly referred to as the humanist sans. Finally there is Helvetica, made in 1957, containing simple curves and being available in many different lines weights, this type is deemed “the world‘s favourite”.

The introduction of the computer was the final big step in the development of type, with the first type on a computer being pixel type, a very crude and rather ugly form of type which directly reflects the quality of the computers at the time. As technology got more complex, they became an aid to create new typefaces, not a hinderance, and now we have a vast variety of typefaces available to us  at the click of a button.

After researching the history of type I thought about how I could use this information in my own work. The direct link between pixel type and computers could work well in my own work as most articles I chose concern technology. If I did want to include serifs in my work I would use slab serifs as they are a more modern take on serifs. I will avoid serifs similar to those seen in blackletter and roman type as they aren’t very modern and therefore could communicate the wrong message within my work since the technology discussed in the articles I have chosen is very new. On the other hand, serifs like these could work well when representing the articles about mammoths and the CIA fly spy from the 70s as they are both about thing which are from a longer time ago and these typefaces could represent that.

Inspiration

When thinking about the second element of my typography work where I would be creating collaged elements to my type, I wanted to find a piece to take inspiration from, so I went to Pinterest and found this piece. I really like the simplicity of it and how it only contains a couple different photographs spliced together as I think it is very effective in corresponding visually with the word which is displayed in a ransom note style at the bottom of the piece.

There could be many meanings of this piece and multiple ways to interpret what her crisis could be, the first idea I had related to mental illness, the blue sky being clouded represents her state of mind being dull and depressed, and the mushroom cloud being in the middle could be a visual communication of being in a state of panic. The other idea I had could be that the crisis is a war, as the vintage style of the collage is similar old war propaganda posters, and the mushroom cloud could be the worry she is having concerning the war or even just something she has seen and is having a crisis about.

I also really like how there is a minimal colour palette due to the muted tone of every colour used and the block colour of the negative. This makes me consider how much the colour I use in the negative space should inform the decisions I make for the rest of the colours I use. Overall this piece has inspired me to take a more minimal approach to my collages. 

My Typography

When beginning my type I wanted to consider what I had learned from my previous research. For my first piece I chose to make it in a pixel like font as this style can directly link to the technology aspect of my articles as it was made on computers. I made it distorted so as to replicate glitching you could possibly experience if you had been hacked and I think it works well to represent the word because it is simple enough to easily get the point across.

I chose the word “hacked” to relate to my story concerning a brain chip to connect people to social media, as a big flaw in that product was how easily people would be able to hack into peoples brains with it. I added binary code coming off the word to relate to this further as if the coding is breaking.

If I was to fix some elements of this, I would use a rule to make sure the letters are straighter to emphasise the uniformity that is being broken by the hacking. I would also use a black pen instead of graphite as it is very faint in areas and is not a consistent tone which is not what I wanted, although it could be said to add to the glitchiness. I do think this piece was successful in representing the word but it isn’t to the standard I would’ve liked.

For my second piece I chose the article I have about botox curing depression. I chose the word “botox” as I felt I could effectively represent this visually with needles and clean lines, making it look precise and surgical. I chose to keep it mainly black and white with one element of colour as hospitals and medical places have to be very sterile and bright white can remind people of cleanliness. The orange I added to the middle needle reminds me of David Foldvari’s work and the way that he will only add one colour and I think it looks very striking, working to break up the monotonous black and white.

I chose a sans serif type as they look very sleek and modern and therefore I believe they work well for the subject matter. I also like the simplicity of the needles and how they are the same thickness as the lines in the letters, making them work very well in place of the lines I made them replace. If I was going to improve upon this I would maybe add more elements to the negative space that relate to botox, I could also have mad some of the letters look like distorted faces to show the aftermath of modifications.

When beginning my collages I wanted to take into consideration how simple I would keep it, so for my first collage I only used a few different images. The first image was of a woman who’s face I cut out to replace with metal imagery to make her part robot. This relates to the same article as I chose for the “hacked” type as the idea of adding an implant to someone’s head could make them into a part robot part human being: a cyborg.

 I really like how the face looks and I think it works well along with the word I chose. The darkness of the background makes the metal texture of the word “cyborg” really stand out and the warm yellow tones contrast the cool grey. For the word I collaged some metal pipes I found in a magazine together and I think they work very well although if i was to change anything about this I would maybe draw more parallels to the human side of cyborgs due to that being slightly lacking in this in my opinion. To do this I would maybe make half of the word flesh coloured to display that a cyborg is a mixture of both.

For my final collage I used the collaging aspect to make the break up the white in the background. I chose black and grey as this piece was based around a cure for blindness and the darkness could be representative of what blind people see. I then wanted to add different textures to this piece, so to begin with I closed my eyes and wrote “blind” with an oil pastel to create a rough texture in my work whilst also still relating to my chosen article by how I chose to write.

I also added some braille to further tie in to the idea of blindness a this is the form of alphabet that blind people read in. I don’t like the uniform letters I added over top of the crude oil pastel writing and if I was to change any part of that area in this piece I wouldn’t have added that as I don’t think it particularly links to the word. I also don’t like the ransom not style word towards the bottom of the piece for the same reason. I do like how it looks however, and it reminds me of the piece I found to take inspiration from off Pinterest. 

I really like the contrast of the white eyes on the black part of the the piece and the style of type I chose to put in the eyes, as it has slab serifs so still looks modern and can relate to new technology despite having serifs. Overall I somewhat like how this turned out although I should’ve been more considerate when adding certain elements and thought more about how they would further portray the narrative I was creating.

Charlie's Crush (Charlie x Female MC)

Summary: Drabbles inspired by @sungoddessra’s theory about Charlie crushing on MC. I wanted to write from Charlie's perspective for a change and felt like this was a good place to start.

Word Count: ~3900

Note: I tried to put them in chronological order to show progression, but some of the later ones may be misplaced. For future reference when using Charlie's perspective, do you guys prefer second or third person when referring to MC? Let me know :)

1.

Bill: Welcome back, (Y/N). I know you're no stranger to dueling after what happened between you and Merula Snyde...

MC: You were there?

Bill: No, my brother Charlie told me. He's a second-year like you.

“What's all the commotion about?” Bill asked as a noticeable whispering broke out around the Great Hall.

Charlie looked up from his dinner plate, following Bill's gaze to the entrance of the Great Hall where (Y/N) was walking with Rowan to their house table. She seemed embarrassed as heads continued swiveling in her direction, clearly not oblivious to the fact that the gossiping was about her. “(Y/N) defended Ben Copper today in the courtyard and beat Merula Snyde in a duel.”

Bill’s mouth fell open. “Did she get in trouble?”

Charlie shook his head. “No. Professor Snape caught them, but luckily Professor Flitwick showed up and defended her. Apparently Merula cast the first spell.”

“That still wasn’t a good idea. You'd think with the reputation her brother left her with she'd want to lie low.”

Charlie's eyes narrowed in annoyance. “She was just trying to do the right thing. You should have seen how scared Ben was.”

“I know, but dueling isn't the right way to handle something like that,” Bill insisted, causing Charlie to roll his eyes. Bill's straight-laced attitude seemed to subside a bit at this because he added, “I'm honestly surprised she beat Merula though considering the Snyde family's reputation.”

“(Y/N) not only beat Merula, but she also disarmed her,” Charlie said, grinning as he reached for his glass of pumpkin juice on the table. It was possibly the coolest thing he had witnessed so far at Hogwarts.

Bill's eyebrows shot up the same way Charlie's had when he saw (Y/N) cast the spell. “What? But you're not supposed to learn Expelliarmus until next year.”

“Yeah, I know. I hear she’s really smart. Some say it's just because she's friends with Rowan, but I don't think so.” Charlie glanced over to where (Y/N) was sitting and frowned when he saw her looking lost in thought as she picked at the food on her plate. “I feel really bad for her with the way everyone's assuming she's going to be like her brother. She seems really nice, and she must be a good friend to stick up for Ben like that.”

Bill studied Charlie curiously. “Have you talked to her before?”

Charlie shook his head. He kept pretty busy in his free time, and even though they had classes together, he never sat close enough to talk to her.  “Why?”

A teasing smile spread across Bill's face- the kind that any younger sibling dreaded seeing. “You just seem to be awfully interested in her, that's all.”

Charlie shrugged and directed his attention back to his food. He didn't want to admit it, but between the way (Y/N) helped Ben and her intriguing family history, how could he not be?

2.

MC: “I know you from flying class. You're a third-year like the rest of us, but you're already the best Quidditch player in school!”

Andre: “Charlie Weasley might be a bit better, but I do love Quidditch.”

-

Andre: “Do you know Charlie? He said he'd love to meet a dragon one day.”

“Hellooo? Earth to Charlie?” Andre said, waving a hand in front of the redhead’s face.

“What?” Charlie blinked as he snapped out of his daze and his attention drifted back toward Andre.

“I asked if you were finished with the Transfiguration assignment so we can play a quick game of Quidditch before dinner,” Andre said before craning his neck in the direction Charlie had been looking. “But now I’m more interested in what you were staring at. I've only seen you that distracted when you’re reading about dragons.”

Charlie dropped his gaze back down to the book in his lap. “I wasn’t staring at anything. Just zoned out for a minute.”

“Oh really? Because to me it looks like you were eyeing that group of girls over there.”

Charlie didn’t need to look up to know Andre was referring to Rowan, (Y/N), Tonks, and Penny- they were the only other visible students hanging outside on the school grounds. So what if he had been staring at them? They were talking really loud and it caught his attention, that's all.

“Hmm, let’s see,” Andre said, tapping his chin. “Penny’s gorgeous and will make a remarkable potioneer one day, but I'd assume she's a little too conventional for you. Now Tonks, on the other hand, is anything but conventional; she's feisty and hilarious, but quite the prankster- which you seem to get enough of at home with your younger brothers.” Charlie kept his head down, but he could hear the self-satisfied grin growing in Andre's voice as he continued, “Rowan’s brilliant, but you guys would never talk with how much you both read, so that leaves (Y/N). She’s a natural on a broom and I’ve seen her around Hagrid, so it would be no surprise if she was good with creatures. What more could a Quidditch playing, dragon loving guy like yourself want, am I right?”

Charlie focused hard on the words in his textbook, refusing to look at Andre. He didn’t know (Y/N) was a good flyer, and now he wondered if she liked Quidditch- and even more importantly, if she had noticed him when he played. Unfortunately, Andre seemed to take Charlie’s silence as some sort of confirmation.

“I knew it!” he yelled, shoving Charlie's shoulder. “Man, I’m good. I'm totally going to set you guys up.”

“It's not like that,” Charlie explained, chancing a glance back in her direction. “I just think it would be cool to be friends with her, that’s all.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Andre said, eyeing Charlie skeptically. “We’ll see about that.”

3.

Bill: “Charlie told me he's been meaning to talk to you about the Cursed Vaults.”

“Where are you going?” Charlie asked as Bill headed toward the exit of the Gryffindor common room.

Bill paused, looking back at Charlie with an apprehensive expression on his pale face. “You promise to not tell mom?”

“Of course.”

“I’m going to help (Y/N), Tulip, and Barnaby break the next curse. We found out where the vault is,” Bill whispered, and Charlie’s stomach sank. He thought Bill helping (Y/N) last year was a one time thing, but they seemed to be friends now and that thought disappointed him for some reason. It didn't help that the stories Bill relayed made her sound just as interesting as she seemed.

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said, trying his best to sound indifferent. “Need any more help?”

“No, I think we've got it all planned out. We don't want too many of us there or we'll draw attention.” Bill must have caught the subtle frown forming on Charlie's face because he added, “But maybe you can help next time? I'll talk to (Y/N) about it after we break the curse.”

Charlie smiled slightly even though his stomach gave a nervous tug at the thought. “That would be really cool if you would. I'd love to help.”

4.

Charlie: “It’s going to be fine, Ben. These creatures are more afraid of you than you are of them.”

Ben: “You obviously don’t know me very well.”

MC: “That’s because Charlie is always too busy for us. The only time we ever see him is in Care of Magical Creatures.”

Charlie slid under the covers to his four poster bed, relieved to be done for the day. But instead of falling asleep as quickly as he normally did, Charlie found himself replaying (Y/N)’s words from class earlier that day. Was it just him or was she teasing Charlie about not being friends with her? Luckily, he did keep busy enough for his excuse to have some truth to it- it wasn't like he could have told her he was mainly just too intimidated to talk to her. Charlie knew Andre had mentioned him to (Y/N) last year despite his protests, and Charlie had said hi to her in passing more than once, but today was the first time they’d ever had a real conversation.

“I knew you were good at calming dangerous creatures, but I didn’t think anyone could calm Merula.”

Charlie bit his lip, fighting back a smile as he remembered (Y/N)’s response to him standing up to Merula for her. Realistically, Charlie figured that nearly every fourth-year knew about his love for magical creatures, but he couldn’t help but like the fact that she knew. He had never talked to her about them before, so she was at least paying some attention to him. Maybe they could become friends this year.

-

Charlie: “Tell me when you’re ready to head into the Forbidden Forest, (Y/N). I’d like to do some exploring myself…”

“Well you seem happy,” Bill teased Charlie as the pair headed down the corridor toward Gryffindor Tower.

Charlie's forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Please,” Bill said, scoffing. “With how quickly you offered to join (Y/N) in the forest, you’d think there were dragons in there.”

Charlie looked away, feeling suddenly self conscious- he knew Bill and most of (Y/N)’s other friends needed some convincing to help her on her risky adventures. But then Charlie remembered the smile on her face when he said he’d like to go, and his concern vanished. “You’re just mad because now I seem like a better friend than you.”

“Sorry for caring about my reputation and future,” Bill said, the corners of his mouth twitching up in a smile. “You do seem to be getting close with (Y/N) though.”

Charlie felt an annoying flush creep down his neck. He talked to (Y/N) regularly now in Care of Magical Creatures, and they occasionally ate sandwiches together in the Great Hall or drank Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. “Yeah, we’re friends now I guess.”

“Mhmm,” Bill said, nodding. “Friends, right.”

5.

Charlie: “Let's write our next essay together, okay, (Y/N)?”

Charlie didn't know why he said it. He let Andre get in his head about asking (Y/N) to hang out more, and it slipped out before he had even thought about it. About the fact that the essay they had to write was about breeding techniques. And yet here she was, setting down her textbook and sliding into the chair beside him in the library.

“Thanks again for letting me join you,” (Y/N) whispered as she pulled out a quill and roll of parchment from her bag. “Doing homework with someone helps me stay focused instead of letting my mind wander about the vaults.”

“Of course,” Charlie said, trying to ignore how good she smelt- he didn't recall her ever sitting this close to him before. “I just figured with both of our brains we'd get it done in no time.”

“You're way smarter than me when it comes to creatures,” she said while she opened her textbook and flicked through the pages.

Charlie scribbled his name and essay title across the top of his parchment. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You did amazing with that Fire Crab.”

“Maybe, but I'll never know as much as you seem to. I'm sure you can tell me right off the top of your head about Bowtruckles’ breeding techniques, can’t you?”

Charlie laughed and shook his head, pretending he didn't notice the flush of red staining (Y/N)’s cheeks. “Believe it or not, I don't know about Bowtruckles’ mating habits. But I would assume it would be a rather difficult process for them considering how slippery they are.”

(Y/N) tried to cover her mouth as laughter poured out, and Charlie couldn't stop himself from smiling- both for making her laugh and for easing the awkwardness a little.

“SHHHH!” Madam Pince hissed from her seat across the library, holding her index finger up to her thin lips.

“Sorry,” (Y/N) whispered through the giggling with an apologetic wave. She tried to settle herself, and Charlie's heart squeezed harder than ever when she rested her forehead against his shoulder, still attempting to muffle her laughter. “That was your fault,” she said, poking him in the chest before straightening and picking up her quill.

“Sorry,” Charlie managed, but the smile on his face said otherwise. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but whatever it was, he kind of liked the feeling. Maybe asking to write the essay together wasn't such a bad idea after all.

6.

MC: “I didn't find anything. Although, to be honest, I refuse to touch half of this stuff because it's covered in blood…”

Charlie frowned until he saw the Niffler rustling about in the center of the Red Cap's hole. “It looks like the Niffler found something…” he said, instantly looking to (Y/N) to see her reaction. He knew how important finding the arrowhead was to her and he wanted to help. He couldn't seem to stop staring at her while she directed her attention to the Niffler, eager to see what he had found. She was so pretty, and Charlie loved seeing her focused on a task. Her determination to help her brother ignited something inside Charlie. It was a feeling he understood; he would do anything for his family too. The only thing that brought him back to reality was the look of disappointment that settled across her face.

“Fine. I guess you can keep it,” (Y/N) said with a sigh, and Charlie turned to see the Niffler holding a shiny silver watch instead of an arrowhead. He was disappointed too, but he wasn't going to let that set them back. He was definitely going to make sure she found that arrowhead.

7.

Bill: “You and (Y/N) are going to duel. I'm going to stand here, and make sure you keep dueling until you do it right…”

Charlie couldn't lie; he was nervous as hell to duel (Y/N). He knew Bill was just being protective of Charlie and wanted him to be prepared to go back to the forest, but he found it hard to be appreciative at that very moment. (Y/N)’s dueling reputation was well known across the school- she even beat Bill her second-year for crying out loud- and as much as Charlie didn't want to admit it, he kind of wanted to impress her.

They casted spells back and forth for several minutes. He hit her with Flipendo and Bombarda, but she returned the heat with two stunning spells. After a few more intense minutes, she caught him with Depulso, knocking Charlie off his feet.

(Y/N) beamed, walking over to Charlie to help him up from the blow. “You alright?”

Charlie found that even though he clearly lost, he couldn't stop smiling at her. She was so talented it blew his mind sometimes. Tingles shot down his arm as she grabbed his hand for support while he stood up. “Oh yeah, I'm fine,” Charlie said once he was steady on his feet. “You are definitely as good as everyone says you are.”

And in Charlie's mind, she was even better.

8.

Charlie: “You're coming to watch my next Quidditch game, right?”

“You were amazing!” (Y/N) yelled as she collided into Charlie with a hug. It wasn't the first time she hugged him, but it was the first time she did it right after a Quidditch match, and Charlie couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with him asking her to come.

“Thanks,” he said, releasing her from the hug even though he didn’t really want to. He opened his glove-covered hand and extended the Snitch toward her. “Do you want it?”

(Y/N)’s eyes lit up when she saw the golden ball in front of her, but she didn't reach for it. “But it's yours?”

Charlie laughed and dropped the ball into the palm of her hand before she could protest. “I've got plenty of them by now.”

“You better not get cocky on me now, Weasley,” she said, knocking her shoulder against his. “Even if you are that good.”

Charlie glanced down at the ground, attempting to hide his smile and reddening face; he hated how much he liked impressing her. “Thanks again for coming.”

“Of course. How about you get changed and maybe we can play a game of Gobstones before it gets dark?” The hopefulness in her voice made a fire burn in the pit of Charlie's stomach.

“Meet you in the courtyard,” Charlie answered, trying his best to ignore the inexplicable tightness in his chest. He watched (Y/N) make her way back to Rowan and could no longer stop himself from smiling when she started showing off the Snitch he had given her.

“Did you ask her out yet?”

Charlie jumped slightly, turning to see Andre sporting an arrogant smile. “What are you talking about?” Charlie said, brushing past Andre and starting for the castle.

“Oh, come on. You're clearly obsessed with the girl,” Andre said, falling into step beside him. “And from the look of that hug, the feeling seems mutual.”

“I told you, we’re just friends,” Charlie insisted, refusing to let his mind consider otherwise. Guys and girls could be best friends.

“You've never given me the game winning Snitch,” Andre teased, making Charlie fight back a laugh.

“You're ridiculous.”

Andre’s grin widened. “Maybe, but I'm also right.”

And for the first time, Charlie began to worry that he was.

9.

MC: “Do you want to catch up after Quidditch practice, Charlie?”

“You're going to beat Slytherin tomorrow, right?” Andre asked Charlie as they exited the Herbology classroom together.

“We better with how much we've been practicing lately,” Charlie said, rubbing his temples. Between Quidditch and his increasingly large load of coursework, Charlie was nothing short of exhausted this week.

Andre grinned. “Good because everybody's counting on it so you'll have to play Ravenclaw next.”

“Then we can find out for sure which of us is the best in our year,” Charlie joked, elbowing his mate in the shoulder.

“Exactly,” Andre agreed, clearly eager for some friendly competition. “Wanna meet up after your drills tonight? I could give you some last minute pointers.”

“I would, but I already promised (Y/N) I'd hang out with her,” Charlie said. He tried to sound casual, but it made no difference; Andre still got that same smug look about him every time Charlie mentioned (Y/N).

“She asked you to hang out, huh?” Andre asked.

Charlie knew any response he'd give would condemn him. “We haven't seen each other much lately with how busy we've both been.”

“You have three classes with her, and the gang has had lunch together nearly every day this week. Still not enough for her?”

Charlie's face reddened even though he was used to Andre's teasing by now; he liked the idea of (Y/N) wanting to spend more time with him a bit too much. Charlie wanted to explain to Andre he meant one-on-one time, but he knew all too well the kind of response that would get.

“What are you guys gonna do?”

Charlie shrugged, ignoring the suggestiveness in Andre's voice. “Probably just play a game of wizard's chess and talk.”

“Talk about…” Andre trailed off, waiting for Charlie to fill in the blank.

“I don't know. I think she finished reading the book I gave her on dragons, so maybe about that.”

Andre stopped dead in his tracks, instantly signaling to Charlie that he had said the wrong thing. “Hold up. You mean to tell me you asked her to read a book about dragons and she actually did?

Charlie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “No, she asked me to borrow it.”

Something sparked in Andre's face as if a light switch had been flicked on inside his head. He instantly began laughing and shaking his head, leaving Charlie even more confused.

“What?” Charlie insisted, slightly annoyed with whatever he seemed to be missing.

Andre patted Charlie's back, still laughing hysterically. “Man, she's got it just as bad as you do,” he said, starting down the corridor again. “You guys are literally dating.”

“Would you keep your voice down?” Charlie said, looking around to make sure nobody overheard him. “We are not.”

“You can say whatever you like, but you'll never convince me otherwise.”

Charlie huffed in annoyance, but he couldn't entirely ignore the stirring in the pit of his stomach at the idea.

10.

Charlie: “You're the only other person I trust enough to help me with something like this.”

Charlie's heart thudded inside his chest as the words came out, suddenly nervous about being so honest. He got caught up in all the excitement of the potential dragon egg, his guard slipped a little bit.

But (Y/N) just smiled at him, making his stomach flip. “How can I say no when you put it that way? Besides I'd like to find out if it's real, too.”

Charlie beamed at her, resisting the urge to wrap her in a hug. Not only did she want to help him, but she was also interested in the egg. Why did she have to be so perfect?

-

Hagrid: “I'm sorry teh tell yeh, Charlie, but this isn't a Dragon egg.”

Charlie's heart sank deep into his stomach. He knew it was too good to be true, and it was probably for the best, but guilt started to weigh on him. Not only did they not have a dragon, but he also made (Y/N) do all that work for nothing. “I'm sorry, (Y/N). I put you in danger, and had you do all of that work…”

“Forget about me, Charlie, I'm fine,” she insisted, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I'm more worried about you. You must be so disappointed.”

Charlie blinked at her, amazed all she still managed to care about was him even after she wasted all that time helping him. “I'll be fine,” he said, and it was true. At the moment, he was just happy to have such an amazing friend like her.

-

(Y/N): “Just promise you'll remember me when you become a famous Dragonologist.”

Charlie's heart swelled as his eyes moved from the dragon scale in his palm to (Y/N), and it hit him like a blow to the head how much he liked her. He could no longer deny it, no matter how much he wanted to. “I'll do one better,” he said, unable to control the smile on his face. “If I ever get my dream job studying dragons in Romania, you'll be the first person I invite to visit, (Y/N).”

He was relieved when she seemed just as excited about his offer, and that gave him hope. Maybe he could convince her to come work with him before they finished Hogwarts. Charlie sure hoped so because he was crushing hard on his best friend and didn't know what else to do about it.

GMH: Setting the Record Straight

Masterlists: [Hollywood U] || [Red Carpet Diaries]  || [Baby Hunt]  || [Love & Scotch HWU/OH ]  ||  [#HollywoodHacks HWU/LH]

The Last Duchess Opening Weekend (four+ parts)

>Part One: Viktor’s Wrath (PG13) >Part Two: Taking Back the Narrative (PG) >Part Three: The Red Carpet Premiere (PG) >Part Four: Just Like the First Time (M)💎 >>Weekend Warriors (PG) >>Good Morning Hollywood - Talking about Viktor (PG13)

– – –

Characters: Alex (MC), Leland St. James, Chazz Javellana, Thomas Hunt

Setting: This takes place immediately after Red Carpet Diaries Book 2. The Last Duchess has opened in theatres and beat Double Agent at the opening weekend box office. Alex (MC) has told the press about Viktor. Leland St. James asked Alex to come on Good Morning Hollywood to talk more about what happened. She has accepted. Thomas and Alex are dating–their friends know, but they are not public yet. 

Rating/TW: PG-13 (due to the rape allegations)

– – –

“My guest today needs little introduction, she stole our hearts as The Last Duchess and her bravery to come forward has led to the ousting of one of this city’s most vile members. Please join me in welcoming my forever Woman Crush Wednesday, Alex!” Leland stood and led a round of applause.

Alex smiled and waved to the audience as she made her way to the chair next to Leland’s desk. “Thank you for having me, Leland! I’m so excited to be back here so soon! Twice in one month!”

“Last time you were here, I predicted you would be a box office queen and now you are!!!! All hail Queen Alex!!!! Congratulations on the success of The Last Duchess. The film is AMAZING!!! Don’t forget to thank me when you accept your awards for best lead actress!” Leland teased with a sly wink. 

“I think I speak for everyone at The Last Duchess when I say thank you to everyone who came out to support our film this past weekend. We made the film quickly with a small budget, but I think everyone’s hard work and dedication to the project really came through on screen,” Alex beamed as she remembered all the long, but rewarding days of filming.

“Don’t be so modest,” Leland interrupted. “The Last Duchess didn’t just do well, it SLAYEDDD at both the domestic and international box offices. It’s the number one film across the globe and everyone is talking about it and you! Speaking of which, can we all just take a moment to appreciate this.” He held up a photo of Alex, Chris, and Thomas from the Red Carpet Premiere. “Can we just talk about that crown for a minute, Queen Alex?”

Alex blushed as she studied the photo, but for a different reason than the tiara. She knew why Thomas’s eyes smiled, despite his best attempts to keep his apathetic expression. 

“The crown was so beautiful,” Alex maveled, resting a modest hand over her heart. “I was in awe that the people of Cordonia would trust me with such a valuable item, if only for one evening. Our time filming there was some of the best moments of my life. It is truly a remarkable country. I hope to have the chance to visit again soon!”

“As much as I’d love to spend our time talking about more pleasant things,” Leland said hesitantly. “I know that isn’t why you decided to come here today.”

Alex nodded.

“Then, let’s just get straight to it,” Leland suggested. “Over the past several months there have been numerous reports about you in the press, many of them negative. I know prior to the release of The Last Duchess, you had tried not to address many of these stories. You and I talked before the show and I think you are ready to set the record straight?”

“I try not to address tabloid gossip. I feel it only gives the original story more attention,” Alex explained. “However, I feel like I need to tell my side of the story now that I have a platform to do so. Several months ago, there were reports that I had bullied students in high school. That is simply not true, nor was my supposed social media replies. I was locked out of all my social media accounts for weeks. I didn’t retain access to my accounts until after I was fired from Double Agent. The reports that I traded sex for favors on-set are also not true. All of these reports were made by Viktor in hopes of controlling me.”

“Viktor Montmartre,” Leland interjected.“As we know now, Viktor tried to force himself on you and many other women.”

“Right,” Alex responded. She took a deep breath and continued. “When I said no and I escaped him, he promised to ruin me until I behaved for him.”

“The negative press wasn’t all he did to try to control you, is it?” Leland asked.

She shook her head. “No. It was just one part of his plan. The next day, Viktor changed the film so that I was no longer the lead. He took me off the poster completely. He had my trailer removed and replaced with a really old one that was covered with dirt, stains, mold... you name it. When I questioned production about it, no one could give me a straight answer. Later, Victor sent me flowers with a card that said “Next time, behave. -V”

“UGH,” Leland expressed. “How repulsing!”

“When we went to film in Russia, I was told I couldn’t fly with the rest of the cast and crew. I was rescheduled to fly coach. When I arrived, I was told I would not be staying at the hotel with the rest of the cast and was instead put up in a dingy non-descript place. I wouldn’t even call it a hotel. Honestly, flying coach and staying in less than ideal locations –all of this–would be fine if it were not meant as a punishment; if it wasn’t meant to demean me into doing something I did not want to do … Then, obviously all the negative press about The Last Duchess…”

“We know now that Viktor has been accused of more than 20 counts of assault and attempted rape spanning a couple of decades. With more women coming forward daily,” Leland stated. “Do you have any words for him?”

“I really don’t want to waste my breath talking about him,” Alex admitted. “He’s not worth it. He has no hold over me, not anymore. I just hope that he takes responsibility for his actions and spares everyone a trial.”

“Why come forward now?” Leland asked.

“I told myself that if I tried to come forward before I had a platform, Viktor would have drowned out my voice. He had already successfully attacked me in other ways. I felt the best way to address it would be to wait until I felt my voice would be heard and listened to.” 

“But, honestly, that wasn’t the only reason,” Alex continued. “I… I felt ashamed of what happened. For a while, I struggled with feeling responsible for it somehow. I kept thinking about what I could have done to have avoided it. Eventually, I came to the realization that it wasn’t my fault. Viktor is a predator and he took advantage of me. He tried to destroy me because I didn’t ‘behave’ for him. I imagine that I am not the only woman who has been assaulted that feels it was their fault. So, I decided that I couldn’t let him get away with it to hurt someone else; but also, I wanted to let anyone else who might have found themselves in a situation like this know… it is not your fault. Do not ever think less of yourself because of what was done to you. You are a survivor. You are an overcomer. It took me a while to realize this, but now that I have, I will do what I can to help others who have gone through similar or worse experiences.”

“Many of you may not know this, but Alex has been working with a sexual assault support center locally,” Leland explained. Alex shook her head in disbelief at his announcement. “Oh, Alex, you thought we wouldn’t find out? You are an amazing woman. Thanks to you, not only have so many other women been able to come forward and share their stories about Viktor, but you’re helping others who might not have the same voice. You are an inspiration!”

Alex’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Don’t cry yet! On behalf of everyone at Good Morning Hollywood, we would like to present you with a generous donation to be made to the center where you’ve been volunteering.” Leland exclaimed, cupping his hands around his mouth as he shouted, “Bring on the big check!!!! I just love big checks, don’t you?”

“Thank you,” she stammered at a loss for words. Her hands covering her mouth as tears streamed silently down her cheek.

“Thank you,” Leland stressed, before turning his attention to the audience and the cameras. “If you or someone you know has been assaulted, please know there is help for you. We have set up a page on our website with more information. To quote Alex ‘you are an overcomer’.” 

Chazz greeted Alex as she walked off the stage. “You okay?” “Yeah,” she nodded. “I feel... relieved.”

Chazz put his arm around her, letting her lean into him.

“I’m glad I got to tell my story,” Alex continued. 

“You did great!” Chazz said supportively.

“I don’t want to keep reliving it though,” Alex admitted. “I want to move on. I don’t want to do any more interviews about it. Is that okay?”

“Absolutely. I’m sure Leland will love the attention of being the only one with the story,” Chazz reassured her. “We’ll just send any inquiries about it his way.”

Alex smiled. “Should we tell him?”

“Nah,” he returned her smile.

“Thanks,” she whispered. “I’m so glad to have you back.”

“Me too,” Chazz agreed. “Not to change the topic, but I kind of made an assumption about what you might like to do after.”

“Yeah?” she questioned curiously.

“I had two ideas. The first was a bestie ice cream date,” Chazz nudged her. 

“That does sound appealing. I do enjoy ice cream!” Alex grinned. “And the second one?”

“He’s waiting in his car in the parking garage,” Chazz winked. 

Alex thought about the choices for a moment.

“I appreciate that you are actually considering this, but GO!!!” Chazz encouraged her. 

“Movies and ice cream tomorrow night?” she suggested. 

“You got it. Now go!” Chazz directed. Alex kissed his cheek and went to gather her things from her dressing room before going to meet Thomas. 

Alex found Thomas’s car and quickly made her way to it. She hopped in the passenger’s seat. “Ohmygoodness are you Thomas Hunt?! I am such a huge fan. Can you sign this for me?!!”

Thomas rolled his eyes at her. “I see you are doing well.”

“I am now,” Alex leaned over until her lips found his. “Thank you for coming.”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Thomas admitted. “As always, you were exceptional.”

“You watched it?” 

“Obviously,” he stated, his hand brushing over her leg. “You are a remarkable woman, Alex. I hope you feel as though you have reclaimed your narrative.”

“I do,” she smiled. 

“Where would you like to go?” he asked starting the car.

“Can we just get out of the city and drive?” Alex asked.

“Any particular destination?” he questioned.

Alex shook her head. Thomas pulled out of the parking structure and headed out of the city. 

As the buildings of the city started to fade in the distance, Alex pushed the button for the convertible top down. She closed her eyes as she let the wind wash over her. Alex smiled as she finally felt free. 

Thomas smiled to himself as he glanced over to Alex, finding her in peace. He reached over and found her hand, interlaced his fingers with hers. 

Alex opened her eyes momentarily to gaze over at Thomas. His dark hair blew in the summer breeze, the ocean at his back, as they drove down the Pacific Coast Highway. For the first time in a while, everything was perfect.

– – –

Thomas Tags: (let me know if you would like to be added)

  @hopelessromantic1352 ;  @alleksa16 ;  @mfackenthal ;    @flyawayboo;  @alj4890 ; @the-soot-sprite

Yellow Curtains - Chapter One

Lucas Lallemant happens upon several people online who appear to be living lives quite similar to his own-- maybe even the same. (Or, all the alternate Isaks find each other online when Even becomes famous)

Lucas first saw the picture on his Instagram explore page, at three in the morning when Eliott was with his parents. He should have been sleeping, he supposed, but over the previous week they’d spent together his body learned to gel with Eliott’s at night. He could only sleep with his arm draped over Eliott’s midsection. This problem should have been fixable; he tried to wrap his arm around a pillow, or a bundle of comforter, but the fabric didn’t feel as warm and didn’t have a chest that rose and fell with each rhythmic breath. It wasn’t the same.

Hence, a late-night/early-morning browsing session.

He followed a lot of actors, meaning his explore page feed usually filled with photos from upcoming movies and low-budget indie films from all over the world. Eliott loved that kind of thing. He could sit and watch foreign language dramas, unsubtitled, for hours and hours commenting on the use of color in each scene and the smoothness with which each actor spoke. Lucas had never been one for cinema he couldn’t understand. He appreciated the concepts, and English wasn’t so bad to hear, but it wasn’t his niche.

Really, the only reason he followed so many actors in the first place was to keep up with Eliott’s obsessive interest in obscure titles with equally obscure directors and plot lines. He didn’t know half of the people whose pictures he liked.

 Well, he knew a few. Xavier Dolan posted a new photo. Lucas liked it without much thought. He would always appreciate the man who inspired his and Eliott’s art of a reunion, even if he’d never stayed awake through the entirety of one of his movies.

“It’s in French!” Eliott had yelled at him. “No subtitles! It’s in French!”

“Not my thing,” he’d replied.

“Dubstep wasn’t your thing either, and look at you now.”

“I don’t actually like dubstep, I just love you.”

Xavier Dolan earned his like for the sake of that conversation alone. Lucas treasured when he had the opportunity to tell Eliott how much he loved him in some sappy way. He scrolled down past Xavier Dolan’s post and into a section of related ones, probably all from similar directors. 

In the midst of his browsing, he found his attention drawn to a photo of two blond boys, standing together in a location tagged as Oslo, Norway. Call it fate, call it intuition, but he knew for sure something was different about these two people.

He tapped the photo so it took up most of the screen. One of the boys wore a gray sweatshirt similar to the one Lucas himself had in his closet. The other sported a jean jacket with a small pansexual flag pin on the pocket. The latter boy’s posture reminded Lucas of someone, although he wasn’t quite sure just who. He oozed confidence. If you looked at his face though, he seemed quite shy and timid. Lucas scrolled downward to read the caption.

 isakyaki Congratulations to my wonderful boyfriend, Even Bech Næshiem, on directing his first full-length movie. I love you and cannot wait to see everything else you have to offer.

 Even. The name stirred something in Lucas. He looked at the picture again. Which of the two was Even? Was it the taller boy with the jean jacket or the smaller one in the sweatshirt? He felt like he’d seen them both before, if only in passing, and surprised himself by feeling a tinge of resentment towards the shorter. Maybe they fought sometime? There was that whole mess with Alex, Charles, and those boys a while ago. He clicked into his Instagram messages and shot one to Eliott.

 lucallemant: Do we know Even Bech Næshiem?

 Eliott took a millisecond to reply.

 srodulv: he’s a director

lucallemant: yeah, but do we know him

srodulv: no???

 Huh. Go figure. Lucas turned his focus away from the photo. He accessed his home feed.

Emma and Alex were together tonight (or rather, last night) judging by Emma’s Instagram story. From what he heard from the girls on Sunday, they decided to be a legitimate couple instead of just a wild fling. He wondered what Yann thought about this development. The guilt was definitely still there, from when he made deliberate plans to break Yann and Emma up, because if he hadn’t said anything to Camille about the kiss then they would still be together. He was friends with Alex, sure, but the guy cheated. He’d done it once, and he would again. Lucas didn’t want Emma getting herself hurt anymore.

Chloe posted something yesterday afternoon, too. She must have gone out with Yann to some coffee shop within walking distance. Another thing to feel guilty about. Even though he didn’t totally forgive Chloe for telling everyone she could about him and Eliott, he knew he’d really screwed her over by pretending to be in love with her for so long. Regret-central on Instagram tonight.

He couldn’t force himself to move through everyone else’s posts. He’d probably seen the rest, and if he hadn’t then he obviously didn’t care very much about the people involved.

Instead, he looked back at the picture of Even from earlier.

Logically, he knew he couldn’t know either boy. They both lived in Norway, and one was supposedly somewhat famous, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen them both before somewhere—and not just in a foreign language movie.

 lucallemant: did we know him at one point?

srodulv: no

lucallemant: are you sure?

srodulv: pretty sure. why?

lucallemant: he looks familiar

srodulv: there are a lot of people on earth

srodulv: maybe you’re confusing him for somebody else

lucallemant: who would I be confusing him for?

srodulv: I don’t know

 Lucas looked into the poster’s profile. Okay, so the shorter boy in the photo was Isak. Even was the taller, then, the one with the crazy hair and the sweet smile. The familiar one. He scrolled through Isak’s photos of the two of them together, noting at one point a girl who looked a lot like Emma. Something fishy was happening here. He’d never seen these people before, and yet it was as if he had seen them every day for his entire life.

 srodulv: Could be the dynamic

lucallemant: what do you mean?

srodulv: they have our dynamic lol

srodulv: the artist and the grumpy one

srodulv:  ❤️ ❤️

lucallemant: haha

 Lucas turned off his phone and sat back against his headboard. Eliott had a point. He could recognize Even because he seemed similar to Eliott in interest and posture-- that’s what it was. His phone buzzed.

 srodulv: here, you can really see it here

 Eliott attached a YouTube link for something. An interview.

Lucas tapped to pull up the interview on YouTube and clicked on the subtitles. If he was to put them in French, they would be auto-generated. Auto-generated subtitles were never trustworthy, so he’d just have to watch the interview with English ones and fumble through the gist of what each person said.

“Where did the two of you meet?” asked the interviewer.

Isak laughed and turned to Even. “Do you want to tell him?”

“Kosegruppa,” said Even. “Thank you, Vilde.”

“And how did you get the chance to talk with him?”

Again, both Even and Isak shared a glance and a giggle.

“He took all the paper towels,” said Isak. “All of them. Then he asked if I needed one, handed me one from the trash, and invited me outside to smoke a joint with him.”

Lucas paused the video. He met Eliott at a group meeting, didn’t he? He first saw Eliott sitting in the back and they made eye contact for a beautiful moment. Afterward, when they met at the bus stop, Eliott took all the candy bars and offered to smoke a joint with him. That was… similar, to say the least. He made a mental note to Google kosegruppa later. He pressed play.

“And you found that charming?” the interviewer prodded.

Isak threw an arm over Even’s shoulders and stood on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his forehead. “Of course I did. I was in love with him from the moment we locked eyes. I would have kissed him right there if it wasn’t for Emma.”

The interviewer leaned inward, closer to the two boys. “Who is Emma?”

“Emma is my ex-girlfriend.” When the interviewer looked concerned, he clarified, “It’s okay, we’re on good terms now.  Everything’s smoothed over. She sat down right next to us and started—”

“—sharing the joint!” Even finished. “It was so awkward! I couldn’t make her leave. But I guess things worked out in the end so… sorry, Emma!”

Again, Lucas paused the video. When he and Eliott were at the bus stop, the exact same thing happened with Chloe. The exact same thing. When he looked at Even’s easygoing expression again, he realized he’d seen the same one on his own boyfriend’s face dozens of times. This was starting to get a little creepy.

He closed the app before he could watch the rest, and sent another message.

 lucallemant: did you watch that interview?

srodulv: yeah

lucallemant: with subtitles?

srodulv: they didn’t have French

lucallemant: watch it

srodulv: it’s three

lucallemant: you’re not sleeping

srodulv: how do you know

lucallemant: you’re answering me

srodulv: maybe I am answering you in my sleep

lucallemant: they met the same as us. Watch the interview, please

srodulv: I can’t, I’m asleep

 If Lucas didn’t love Eliott so much, he could have strangled him.

He reopened the Instagram app to explore Isak’s profile once more. He could distinguish the main characters in Isak’s life from the posts: Even, three other boys, and the girl who reminded him of Emma. Maybe she was Emma, the Emma Isak referred to in the video interview. This was all too bizarre. He also was a part of a four-friend crew, had a tag-along in Chloe for a while, and had a first-and-only kind of boyfriend. Lives don’t get much more similar than that.

He figured he might as well send a message, ask about it. Isak probably wouldn’t even see it in his inbox, since he dated a film director and their relationship seemed to be quite popular. He would not even notice the new message on top of all the others.

Lucas typed the words into the box and hit send before he could convince himself to do otherwise.

 lucallemant: Hello, I saw your interview and it was kind of crazy. You met Even the same way I met my boyfriend, complete with an annoying intervention. If I may ask, did you ditch a double date to have your first kiss?

Mary Queen of Scots Trailer: my thoughts

I will start by admitting that I have never really been interested in Mary, so I am not as well versed on what is accurate and what is not about her life except for a few details. 

So, I just watched the trailer to Mary Queen of Scots and I felt as though it was a little far fetched and tried to make Mary out to be some wannabe Braveheart (it’s clear where the writers got their inspiration) and that wasn’t the worse of it.

Here are a few things that bugged me about the trailer:

1) What the hell was that accent about? I mean who told Saoirse to keep rolling her R’s and emphasizing every single syllable. I mean, good on her for attempting it, but Scottish is one of the most toughest accents to master and not many Scottish people can attempt another Scottish accent besides their own -there are so many Scottish accents. It was also noticeably forced compared to Jack Lowden’s voice, which flowed at a natural, quicker pace. 

2) Elizabeth’s transformation from regal queen to queen of hearts makeover? I mean...I have no words! What the hell happened to her? Why does she suddenly look like a retired clown and our angelic, fairy child is still young and beautiful? I know that Reign was not accurate and I only watched the first season, but at least the didn’t try to make Elizabeth into this ugly, bald harpy who is jealous of Mary’s angelic beauty.

3) The meeting of Queens that never happened? Like was it necessary, apart from giving Saoirse a speech to win her an emmy? I am also guessing that Mary has been captured and is now in England and the first thing she says to the woman in charge of her fate is to call her “inferior”. I know the real Mary would have thought this due to Elizabeth’s birth and all that, but seriously, no one is that stupid to belittle an enemy to their face, especially when that enemy is a powerful queen, who has had more experience with ruling a country that she has lived in her entire life, compared to one who was trained to be a queen consort who has just recently located to the place of her birth.

4) Wrong slogan, wrong woman? So, this is not exactly to do with the movie, but the posters associated with it. The first slogan is “Born to Power” for Elizabeth and “Born to Fight” for Mary. The first thing that comes to mind is that these taglines should be the other way around. Mary was a princess who became a queen regnant a few days after her birth, whereas, Elizabeth was made illegitimate at the age of two and had to fend off the sexual advances of an older man (Thomas Seymour) and had to watch her step in case her older sister decided to have her executed. Although, I think the movie will leave out these details to Elizabeth’s earlier life and paint her as a jealous villain and make Mary the virtuous heroine. 

5) If feminism means women being pitied against each other? I get that we as the viewers are suppose to be on the side of the main protagonist - Mary, but why is it right to make her “rival” the polar opposite of the more strong-willed Mary (I am going with the trailer version of her) in comparison to the obviously insecure Elizabeth (again trailer version). Why can’t this movie try an do something unique like show two woman who have been put in a role that had mostly been occupied by men and show the struggles that went with having to run a country. I mean these women had more in their lives to worry about than beauty and sex and competing over who was the hottest. For example, Elizabeth gave up marriage and children just so she could run her country and Mary lived most of her live in France and then had to return to her homeland after the death of her husband. Why couldn’t the movie have shown a young girl who was put into a position that was out of her depth and her struggles of having to rule a country that she had barely lived in? Why must all these important things be taken away and dumbed down to who was the hottest redhead?

Anyway, that’s just a few of my thoughts on the trailer. I am not sure if I will watch it - being Scottish makes it hard to sit through bad Scottish accents - but if I do, I might share my thoughts if people are interested.