#alloapl
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What challenging amatonormativity is:
Emphasizing that there are more types of relationships than just romance
Spreading positivity for people who choose to remain single
Explaining how platonic relationships can be just as deep and meaningful as romantic ones
Deromanticizing actions like hugging, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy
Talking about the ways that society devalues friendships in favor of romance
What challenging amatonormativity isn’t:
Claiming that friendship is so societally devalued that there’s no way aplatonics can face discrimination or stigma for being friendless
Accusing alloromantic aplatonics of being inherently amatonormative because they care more about their partners than friendship
Claiming that people are faking being aplatonic to get out of accusations of amatonormativity
Implying that you must love your friends and be friends with your romantic partners
Associating aplatonicism with aromanticism because you can’t comprehend someone who’s interested in romance but not friendship
All of these are things I have seen. This is not how to go about your activism. Don’t forget aplatonics, especially alloromantic ones.
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the common phrasing, “more than friends” is typically used by alloromantics, because even if they do not fully have the language to understand or express it, many of these people are experiencing romanticism on top of platonicism. in this essay i will-
#aka: allos already understand split attraction‚ and therefore should be able to understand aplatonicism‚ alloaros‚ and alloaces.#thank you for your time#alloaro#apl#aplatonic#split attraction model#alloace#in this essay meme#romo aro#they speak#tags#rambles#aro#aromantic#aroace#aro spectrum#arospec#alloapl
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Most aspecs don't care about any identity other than asexual and it fucking shows. They don't bother to learn about any identity other than asexual and maybe aromantic if they feel like it. They think they can force asexual community symbols like garlic bread and card suits onto all of us (and by the way, they don't even bother to learn about asexual community things and HOW these symbols even originated, for all they claim to care about symbols) by claiming these can represent all aspecs rather than just acespec, when some of us are very much NOT asexual and have had to deal with people assuming we are ace unless we state directly that we are NOT. They misinterpret any of this criticism as us implying asexuals aren't oppressed and/or that nobody on earth is both aro and asexual and feels the identities are connected. We can't cover ever single experience when advocating for our identities, so don't expect us to.
#aspec#arophobia#aro erasure#aromantic#arospec#alloaro#alloapl#allosexual#allosexual aspec#non ace aro#non ace aspec#aro invisibility
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My take on an Allosexual Aplatonic flag
I know this is the silliest thing to post to a blog about me being non-sam apl, but I think I've said before (or maybe my brain just false memorie'd me again) I still view myself as heavily aligned with aromanticism. As time has gone on the less and less I've identified with asexual as a label, and now I think I'm confident in saying I'm allosexual outside of a non-sam apl context -- all of the posts from International Asexuality Day helped me realize that. It was just kind of an "Oh, I'm distinctly not apart of this group anymore" feeling.
Aannnd then the allosexual apl flag just looks like the aroace flag and I didn't like that because, well...(motions nondistinctly at my username)
So here's my take on a flag for any allosexual aplatonics out there. Anybody who is allosexual and is somewhere on the apl spectrum can use this, regardless of their romantic or other tertiary orientations.
The pink was taken directly from the pink stripe on the original Gilbert Baker pride flag, where it stood for sex and magic. I was initially going to keep the yellow from the alloaro flag, but then read that the yellow there meant the opposite of asexual, so I scrapped it for the colours of the apl flag (shifted a little bit to make them match better.) The lighter pink was initially the same hue as the sex and magic stripe, but I made it a little bit more red to look more like the flesh of certain apples. Anyway, I'd hope that the lighter pink next to the colours of the apl flag would be like a "I can still have an emotionally fulfilled life without friends, and am a whole world outside of my aplatonicism and allosexuality" sort of thing (since it sits inbetween the part of the flag representing allosexuality and aplatonicism. this could both go as a meaning for other tertiary & romantic orientation, or even be things like hobbies and work and such)
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Hello Everyone! Today is the first establishment for Aplatonic Day Of Visibility! On this day we support those who identify on the Aplatonic Spectrum by giving them support and recognition!
If you are Aplatonic, feel free to reblog this post with yourself or something you enjoy with your Aplspec Pride Flag!! Alternatively you can also use the hashtag, #AplatonicDayOfVisiblity!
I also ecourage all Alloplatonics to reblog anything related to this amazing day!
#lgbtq#lgbt#lgbtqia#aromantic#asexual#aroace#aplatonic#apl#aroaceapl#alloaro#alloace#alloapl#allosexual#alloromantic#alloplatonic#aplatonic day of visibility#may 4th
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Allorose apl plato repulsed culture is it being extremely difficult to find someone to date.. even if you use dating apps so there's no friendship necessary, as soon as anyone finds out you're friendless and don't want to go hang out with their boring ass friends they dump you. I'm so fucking sick of this I just want a partner. Maybe I just have to stick to online apl spaces, but I want an irl connection ://
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#allorose apl plato repulsed culture is#platonic repulsed#plato repulsed#aplatonic#apl#aspec#plato repulsion#actually plato repulsed#friendship repulsed#aplspec#friendship repulsion#queer#plato repulsed aplatonic#alloapl#platonormativity#vent#yeah that sounds difficult... tbh Id probably be in a similar situation if I didnt have in sys partners rn who are also apl#Its annoying how even w romance and sex ppl still expect you to want friends and hang out w their friends like.. no thanks#anon ask#anon submission#anon submissions
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might say im alloapl as opposed to alloaro when i can 👀
mainly cause aro doesnt really describe me anymore?? idk.
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Alspec Sublabels
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alsexual or Alse/Alsee: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Acespec (Asexual / Ace Spectum) experiences and Allosexual experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Acespec or Graysexual/Grayace for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -sexual sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alace (being Al- in another orientation while being Asexual, similar in nature to the terms Alloace and Aroace.)
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alromantic or Alrom: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Arospec (Aromantic / Aro Spectrum) experiences and Alloromantic experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Arospec or Grayromantic/Grayaro for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -romantic sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alaro (being Al- in another orientation while being Aromantic, similar in nature to the terms Alloaro and Aroace.)
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alalterous or Alalt: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Analtspec (Analterous / Analt Spectrum) experiences and Alloalterous experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Analtspec or Grayalterous/Grayanalt for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -alterous sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alanalt (being Al- in another orientation while being Analterous, similar in nature to the terms Alloanalt and Aroace.)
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alqueerplatonic or Alqp: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Aqpspec (Aqueerplatonic / Aqp Spectrum) experiences and Alloqueerplatonic experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Aqpspec or Grayqueerplatonic/Grayaqp for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -queerplatonic sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alaqp (being Al- in another orientation while being Aqueerplatonic, similar in nature to the terms Alloaqp and Aroace.)
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alplatonic or Alpla: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Aplspec (Aplatonic / Apl Spectrum) experiences and Alloplatonic experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Aplspec or Grayplatonic/Grayapl for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -platonic sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alapl (being Al- in another orientation while being Aplatonic, similar in nature to the terms Alloapl and Aroace.)
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alaesthetic or Alaes: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Aespec (Ansthetic / Anae Spectrum) experiences and Alloaesthetic experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Aespec or Grayaestheric/Grayanae for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -aesthetic sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alanae (being Al- in another orientation while being Ansthetic, similar in nature to the terms Alloanae and Aroace.)
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alsensual or Alsens: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Asenspec (Asensual / Asen Spectrum) experiences and Allosensual experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Asenspec or Graysensual/Grayasen for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -sensual sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alasen (being Al- in another orientation while being Asensual, similar in nature to the terms Alloasen and Aroace.)
Angular Flag (left) | Simple Flag (right)
Alfamilial or Alfami: A term for those who feel equally connected to both Afaspec (Afamilial / Afa Spectrum) experiences and Allofamilial experiences in a single form of attraction. Can be used as an alternative umbrella term instead of Afaspec or Grayfamilial/Grayafa for those who feel this way about their orientation.
Generally put, it's the -familial sublabel of Al- or Alspec. Not to be confused with Alafa (being Al- in another orientation while being Afamilial, similar in nature to the terms Alloafa and Aroace.)
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Anyways, yeah long post. Figured I'd just put all these sublabels on the same post so I can easily copy and past definitions lmao. Also likely coining terms here like "Alloasen" is one since I don't really see people using other terms like Alloace and Alloaro for the other forms of attraction really ever. Idk if I'll ever make flags for terms like Alloafa or Alapl, since this post was already a lot lol.
These aren't the only Al sublabels possible, these are just the "main" kinda of attraction in my head where I know what colors to use for. Feel free to request other attraction terms like Social, Xenial, etc in the future when I have requests open, or make your own.
#long post#coining#mogai#liom#queer#lgbtq+#orientation coining#flag coining#aspec#allospec#alspec#al#alsexual#alromantic#alalterous#alqueerplatonic#alplatonic#alaesthetic#alsensual#alfamilial
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Hi there! Not a apl culture thing, but more of an ask, feel free to ignore me aha
I'm an aroace writer, and I've been meaning to write a few apl characters. Would you mind if you could tell me a few thing to include/not include for these characters? If it's more convenient, I can also dm you! And no pressure to answer /gen!
Hey! Thanks for the ask!
If you're writing aplatonic characters, my first thought is, well, there is no wrong way to write these characters! Every aplatonic person is unique in their relationships, be it platonic, romantic, etc. I would suggest, if writing more than one, diversify their experiences and what being aplatonic means to them.
For example, I'm aplatonic, and I have friends. I don't feel any attraction, I simply just,,, ended up with friends. They sort of found me and decided to make a friend of me.
One thing you'll want to keep in mind is that platonic attraction is not the same thing as a desire to have platonic relationships, if I worded that correctly. Sort of in the same way that you can be aro and desire a romantic relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean you experience romantic attraction.
Don't be afraid to make a character that seems "heartless" or is loveless, in fact, I encourage it. A lot of people experience thier aplatonisism that way, and that's valid. Just make it clear that love doesn't correlate with morality, an idea I'm sure you're aware of.
On another note, feel free to explore aplatonic characters who experience romantic attraction. I know platonic attraction/relationships can often be seen as a prequisite, which, of course, happens, but is not universal.
---
My examples are just a few ideas, feel free to go beyond them! The main things I would want you to take away is:
1. There is no wrong way to be aplatonic, and thus no wrong way to write aplatonic characters
2. Don't be afraid to write heartless or loveless aplatonic folk
3. Platonic attraction doesn't equal desire, i.e. your aplatonic characters can have friends
4. Explore alloapl relationships and experiences
---
If I think of any other ideas I will reblog and add on! Thank you again for the ask! I hope this helps :)
Have a wonderful day!
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Welcome to The Blue Lagoon!
The Blue Lagoon started as a discord server, and is now the host of two projects, the LGBTQIA+ Project and The Mental Health Initiative.
Here's our Carrd [link] and our Discord Server [link]
Mod Introductions
Hello, we're the folks running this blog, so it seems fitting we make a small introduction!
Hello! My name is Fritz, and I use they/it/xe pronouns. I enjoy collecting flags, drawing, and making worksheets! I tend to get distracted easily and procrastinate owo'
Hello!! I'm Viridi, 17, she/her. In a relationship with Fritz <3
I like Pokémon, manga, and listening to funky music! I'll try to make lots of content for everyone to enjoy ^^
Hello, my name is Jester and I use they/its pronouns! I love to draw and write, but more than anything I love my guitar. My favorite kind of coffee is iced with a little oatmilk and a bit of vanilla, and my favorite flavor is sour!
This is a safe space for:
MOGAI
Aspecs, including alloaces, aroallos, alloapls, etc.
Feminine Transmascs, Masculine Transfems, other GNC trans and Nonbinary folks
AFAB Transfems and AMAB Transmascs
He/Him Lesbians, She/Her Gays and other pronoun non-conforming folks
Nonbinary and Multigender Lesbians/Gays
M-spec Lesbians/Gays/Straights
Lesboys and Turigirls
Straightbians and Straightcians/Turihets
Gaybians
Neurodivergent and Mentally Ill folks
Alterhumans, Therians, Otherkin, Otherhearted, etc.
Plural Folks
Pretty much anybody!
This is not a place for discourse. Any and all discourse will be deleted and result in a warning, ban, or block.
Requests
We accept requests! You can suggest:
Persoanlized additions and/or edits to worksheets
New worksheet ideas
New informational article ideas
Pieces for important dates
And more!
Enjoy the blog, and here's a link to our tagging system (work in progress)
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I’ve noticed through some scrolling that the aplatonic tag seems to be heavily focused on loveless aros. Just to be clear, I have zero problems with loveless aros. Loveless aros are amazing and deserve a whole bucket of popcorn (unless you don’t like popcorn). But they aren’t the only type of aplatonics that exist. Aplatonics can still love. They can be alloromantic and love their romantic partners. They can be allosexual and love their sexual partners. They can be allofamilial and love their family. They can love their hobbies. They can love the world. If you’re going to interpret this as an “Everyone loves!! See!!” post, stop right there. Love is not something everyone experiences. Love is not what makes someone moral or good. Loveless people can live just as full lives as people who love. But I don’t want aplatonics getting stereotyped as all loveless.
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Allosexual Aplatonic Flags
Gold and light gold from aroallo, blue from aplatonic (inverse of yellow or brown, typical colors used to represent platonicity/friendship).
Alloapl/aloapl/zedapl/zapl/aplz: zedsexual/zsexual/alosexual (NOT asexual/ace) aplatonic (NO platonic attraction).
#non-asexual#non-ace#allosexual#zsexual#aplatonic#alosexual#alossexual#allossexual#imoga#apl#aplspec#apl-spec#alloaro#aroallo#flag#pride flags#alo#allo#zed#z#a#not ace
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I thought I'd talk a bit about being analterous as I don't often talk about My atertiary identities separately other than apl and afamilial.
Anyways, I should probably start by saying I don't actively crave an emotional connection just for the sake of it. It often involves friendship for a lot of people which already repulses Me. I happen to have emotional connections to My partners but its not about friendship, its about sex and in a few cases also romance bc Im demiromantic and allosexual.
A big reason I realised Im analterous is because people often said thats the attraction type behind qprs, and eventually I realised I didn't want a qpr but just thought I did bc a lot of other aros seemed to, and I felt like I'd be seen as 'aphobic' if I refused to want a relationship that aros and aces came up with. I also was unfortunately feeling like I had to have nonrose attraction to seem 'normal' and 'not sex obsessed' as an alloaro.
When I first heard of alterous attraction, it was kind of defined in a very vague way like 'not being sure if you have a (romantic) crush or just want to be friends', and that didn't make sense to my brain, as I would later realise, its bc Im arospec and apothiplatonic and those are simply not emotions I can feel like to a stranger. And friendship? I literally can't feel that towards anyone.
I define alterous attraction as being an attraction connected to wanting an emotional connection with someone (though of course, one can also have the attraction without being favorable to alterous relationships). My brain often lumps all the nonrose attractions as being something that has no relevance to me, and especially with terms that arent as used in larger society like alterous, I struggle to explain why I am like this.
Additionally, when people talk about feeling alterous attraction or a qpr (though that tends to be more associated w queerplatonic attraction these days) (I am also aqueerplatonic and qp repulsed though) I feel grossed out by it. I don't personally want to hear about it due to my repulsion.
In the past when I questioned if I had a nonrose crush it always ended up either being intrusive thoughts or Me repressing a sexual crush. I learned of things like squishes long before I knew I was aro because I formerly identified as demirose and even after I stopped using that label at one point, I still looked obsessively through AVEN forums where a lot of aces talked about having squishes.
I will admit that with acespec I have some sort of sexual orientation OCD where I have intrusive thoughts that Im 'really' ace when I don't identify that way, but thats a whole other topic. Its kind of distressing for Me to feel that but anyways. Explanation for why I was rather often looking at those forums.
I assumed I had the capacity to have squishes. I felt kind of creepy and genuinely kind of distressed that I was incapable of caring for people as a friend when multiple times, I thought I was having friendship emotions but it turned out to just be sexual attraction. Of course, people can have both emotions at once but I could kind of tell tht I had never even had the platonic attraction emotions, but didn't label it until i realised I could be apl.
I felt like I was obligated to like people in nonrose ways, because it made Me feel arophobic and acephobic, and anti-relationship anarchy, and selfish if I were to say no. But I'm glad I realised Im atertiary, because I'm a lot happier when Im not forcing Myself to have and like nonrose relationships. I'm content with my sexual and romantic-sexual relationships, and also content with the idea of not having any relationships, if at some point that becomes the case for me.
Also, I never ship alterous ships for example, I used to think I did but it was just me shipping characters romantically and/or sexually but thinking I needed to label the emotional care as alterous? And also its worth noting that I'm pretty much an analterous person with no alterous attraction who is alterous repulsed. This will not be the experience of every single person with these identities.
Also, seeing as how people often position alterous and qprs on a created romantic-platonic binary it just irks me that some people act like romantic and platonic are the only attractions ever. Especially when they ignore SEXUAL attraction, like its not romantic OR platonic but ppl act like it doesnt exist when they force the platonic-romantic binary on labels such as alterous and queerplatonic.
Also, I happen to have sexual intrusive thoughts about people, due to hypersexuality and OCD, that I don't like having. Sometimes, I tried to use tertiary/nonrose attractions as a coping mechanism for this by trying to say 'No, I only feel platonic/alterous/sensual/etc. for this person' even though I didn't, and was mistaking emotions like happiness or literally the rush from getting narc supply (NPD) or attention, and being touch starved, sometimes even just being triggered by people acting overfamiliar with Me, for nonrose attractions.
This is not so say nonrose attractions are unhealthy, but the way I conceptualised of them back then was. It's astounding to me that people think my atertiary identity is what's unhealthy when forcing myself to seem allotertiary was what was unhealthy for me.
At one point, when I was initially with a few of My current partners, I kind of felt the need to split every emotion I had about My partners into being a nonplatonic nonrose attraction, even when I knew I was apl. That was kind of unnatural to Me personally as a way to label My emotions. Because it wasn't any attraction other than sexual.
The way people talk about sexual attraction as fleeting and meaningless influenced this as well. I feel a lot of emotional care and enthusiasm towards people I am sexually attracted to, and I only like sexual relationships that are long term and involve affection. This made Me feel like it couldn't JUST be sexual attraction because people around me, even in aro spaces that included alloaros, acted like sexual attraction can never include these things.
Maybe thats just how people who either are alloromantic and/or are allotertiary feel because they label anything thats not 'I want to have genital sex' as some attraction other than sexual. But thats not how my sexual attraction works. I support people whose sexual attraction is not that deep/is fleeting or does not involve much emotion or desire for long-term involvement, and those who engage in casual sex. I just want people to acknowledge that thats not the only way sexual attraction and sexual relationships, especially nonromantic ones, can be.
Actually, anaesthetic was the third atertiary label I found myself realising I am, but I though I was aestheticflux. However it turned out that I am just completely atertiary. Also I think at one point that. It got kind of too much of a cognitive effort for me to want to classify my attraction into so many nonrose types. It made me feel kind of split apart and dissociated from my identity personally.
Anyways, this was a lot and I meant to just talk about My analterous experience, but all My atertiary identities seem to be tangled together in ways that mean they aren't very separable. I think I did only realise Im analterous around the time I realised Im completely atertiary, but it was also very linked to Me realising I'm aqueerplatonic.
Anyways, I'm also realising that maybe I feel My atertiary identities are all interconnected in a way that means I see a lot of them as lumped together for Myself, and how much I talk about them tends to depend on the percieved way I find societal norms regarding relationship types to be antithetical to My way of existing.
(-Rift)
#atertiary#analterous#aspec#aromantic#aro#demiromantic#alloaro#aroallo#allox#allosexual#alloapl#aplatonic#afamilial#aquaplatonic#aqueerplatonic#anonrose#aterspec#arospec#anaesthetic#nonaesthetic#aaesthetic#-Rift#long post#atertiary experiences#actually atertiary#tertiary attraction#nonrose attraction#alterous attraction#queerplatonic#alterous
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hey so im sorry if this is a weird thing to ask, but could an aplatonic person still feel romantic attraction? and if they did i imagine they would just skip over the friends bit and date, right?
i mean absolutely no disrespect and you dont have to educate me if you dont want to but i was just wondering
have a good day!
-a questioning aplspec
Of course. Aplatonics can be alloromantic! In fact, the first coiner of the term aplatonic was an alloromantic asexual. Different aplatonics go about dating differently, since friendship-favorable aplatonics exist. But yes, you could skip over the friends bit. I hope this helps.
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