#all i ever wanted was love | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-devils-keeper · 8 months

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#i need therapy #but thats expensive so i'll just do it here #thoughts are weighing down on me and i feel like writing them down will get them out....maybe #and this will be lost under all my posts so #i miss someone i know i shouldnt...if i told other people they would tell me that it was wrong...that all of it was wrong #that i was 14 and he was 30.....especially the things he initiated #it was all wrong #but for 14yo me who was so depressed/suicidal....his love was everything to me.......and i cant help looking back at it #its been so long i think im romanticizing my teenage adolescence #because his words “no one will ever love you like I love you” haunt me #and the older i am...the more scared i am that hes right #is this how priscilla feels about elvis?#are young girls who get sought after by older men supposed to carry this weight on their hearts?#that they love and hate the man that took their innocence but showed them the world?#i thought that part of me would die but now im 30 and still it sits with me with all my heartaches and heartbreaks #all i ever wanted was love #and im broken for it

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inkskinned · 1 year

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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ronanlynchbf · 9 months

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tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!!#also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now..#opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗#r.txt #the haunting of hill house #ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book???#i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the #next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it....#also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist??#hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for #you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨

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venator-signum · 7 months

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kamala khan would have the most horrendous ao3 author's notes known to man

"hey guys sorry the update is late i switched places with an avenger (ajdgrhsh literally crying) and a really cool space scientist lady and then got into a fight and some alien dudes wrecked my house and then I met Nick fury and I was literal space it was crazy and I had to help save the universe and saw said scientist lady give up her life to save all of us... anyways hope you like the new fic, branching out with an arranged marriage au for this one!!!"

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transmascissues · 4 months

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it’s so funny to me that people used to try to warn me “if you go on t it won’t make you androgynous it’ll just make you look like a man” because 1) i do want to look like a man, that is famously a major part of being a trans man but also 2) t literally has made me androgynous?? like they were wrong on both counts. i got most of the looking-like-a-man changes that i wanted (deep voice, broader body, hair all over my body including my face) and i also give every single cis person in a five mile radius a stroke every time they try to figure out my gender. the assumption that trans men wouldn’t actually want to look like men and the assumption that cis people are good at correctly gendering us once we’re on t are both weird as hell.

#people said this to me all the fucking time pre t #to the point that it did almost make me too afraid to go on t bc ‘what if they’re right and i don’t really want to look like a man?’#but it turns out that was bullshit on so many levels #i look ‘like a man’ now and love it and also am the most androgynous person most cis people i meet have ever seen #y’all just don’t know how t works at fucking all #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

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syea-say · 7 months

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The finale of a never-ending masquerade.

AQ 4.2 spoilers.

#fontaine writing cooked so hard #furina...my love... i'll give you all the hugs and macaroni that you ever wanted #ok maybe not all macaroni my funds are limited #genshin impact #genshin #digital art #my art #genshin furina #furina #neuvillette #focalors #genshin 4.2 #I CRIED #another one to the speedrun pile i am so swamped #i hope everyone enjoys the 4.2 story T_T #blessing your furina pulls

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theoldkyokodied · 1 year

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One wedding and three funerals

Background paintings under the cut

#tomgreg #succession #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #shiv roy #roman roy #kendall roy #yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much #this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess #but yeah i hope yall connect the dots #i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle #at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya #my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr #anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this #i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan #it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs #his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away #basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs #and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't #but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)

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chikorra · 5 months

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"You're safe now, my darling" The knight rescued her precious princess from the evil Gabriel Agreste

=>>Reference that inspired this piece. :3 =>>Contact me through these socials if you like! <3

#miraculous ladybug #my stuff #sketch #miraculous fanart #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrinette #if I've known this would be blown up I could have added more lines into it but yeah... my bad huhu #adrienette #fairytale au #pencil art #art #oh my god guys this is the fastest note increasing I've ever gotten 😳#thank you all for the notes I really appreciate it 🥺😭✨😢#oh dear I just woke up and almost fainted seeing the note numbers lol #dang should have taken a little bit more time to polish it a little but still HUWWWAHH THANK YOU ALL #OH MY GOD FANDOM FIGURES LIKED THIS TOO!!??? MY HONOR AAAJAKQKQNDBDJD #btw I've always wanted to treat my future partner like this because “Love the right person and you will become their princess”

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daydreamerwonderkid · 8 months

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I can't deny that there's a part of me that's absolutely delighted that each time Bruce unjustly went after Jason, the Batkids responded in kind.

This isn't my ideal version of the Batfam, but it does warm my heart seeing Jason's siblings stand up for him.

#batfam #batfamily #gotham war #gotham war spoilers #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #duke thomas #stephanie brown #i know damian was siding with bruce until recently #but i dont blame him #he's young and all he's ever wanted is bruce's love and approval #and the only way he knows how to get it #is by not questioning his father/authority figure #honestly i feel for him #none of the batkids deserve this #dreamer queue

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU #I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by #and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is #You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)

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raggedy-spaceman · 8 months

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S02E04 Fun and Games

I'm a mess don't talk to me don't look at me don't touch me. They care. They actually care.

#ofmd #ofmd 2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #our flag means death 2 #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2 #our flag means death s2 #izzy hands #con o'neill #for the new unicorn #are you kidding me #how am i supposed to survive this #this is all i've ever wanted #izzy finally knowing that he is LOVED #I'm going to cry forever goodbye #mine

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unlicensedprivateinvestigator · 4 months

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thinking about gorgug thistlespring, a barbarian half-orc raised by tinkerer gnomes, who tried to teach him that his anger was not a bad thing, that he was not a burden, that he should channel those negative emotions into something good and positive, like singing or making things, and so he did. he made friends, he learned the drums, he fought, he protected, he saved the world and met multiple who liked him for who he is.

thinking about gorgug thistlespring, a teenage boy with his first girlfriend, who was so devoted to protecting his friends that he made a mistake, he didn’t consider her feelings, so he fought so hard to make it right, he felt so guilty and so angry at himself so he built something just to be able to talk to her again. his parents taught him to channel his emotions and he realised he was just as good at creating as he was at raging. and even when the nightmare king’s forest threw his fears and insecurities in his face, he carried on, for his friends, because “its gorgug, keep going.”

thinking about gorgug thistlespring, an artificer-barbarian who figured out who he is, what he wanted, what he’s good at, who knows how to channel his anger into protecting and creating, to save the world and his friends, only to be told that he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t do what he wanted, his anger was for destruction, not for creating, not for putting his life on the line for his friends, that all the things his parents had taught him, all the things that he had learned while saving the world were wrong.

thinking about gorgug thistlespring.

#FUCK YOU PORTER #PIECE OF SHIT #i’m sorry if some of this makes no sense #i just wanted to rant #because i love gorgug and he deserves all the nice things ever #gorgug thistlespring #dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high sophomore year #fantasy high junior year #d20 fhsy #d20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers

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braisedhoney · 6 months

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fighting back? against who? they're so happy—they've been waiting for you.

you are wonderful. don't you know that?

bonus: they play sims together :)

#running out of pre-made art for the queue… ;; sorry folks. hope you enjoy this though! you voted for it o7 #utdr #wd gaster #gaster fanart #utdr fanart #deltarune fanart #deltarune #kris deltarune #utdr player #utdr soul #ney’s art #ney’s comics #if gaster was ever an enemy in the actual story i feel like it’d be like this. antagonistic but not behaving maliciously for fun #just dial up his genuine affection for the world to an extreme and make it tinged with Scientific Interest #bam. disconnected and maybe unintentional damage. baked with love from the void #… i do love a good edgy evil guy though. and the goofy takes are favorites too.#btw lowkey this is based on how much the fandom collectively (i think?) loves kris #like yes go blorbo we want to see you overcome all challenges :)#our buddy took all this trouble of taking us to build-a-vessel and someone just stomped on it when we finished :( rude

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mimimar · 1 month

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finally completed my comic based on the song ivy by taylor swift!✿ please zoom in to read the text and see the details~

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you can get the digital zine pdf here! it includes extras like character profiles, costume design, more art of willow and ivy, zine-exclusive sketches and an illustrated guide to the symbolism of all the flowers in this comic.

you can also get prints of individual pages here!

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