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cheolaholic · 1 month

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ring of love; csc (05)

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

a/n;; omg, i'm alive????? jkjk, work's been piling up lately and i'm honestly drained by the time I get back home so I couldn't do much writing or even qc the draft before yoinking them into a tumblr draft 💀 but anyways, hope yall enjoy this chapter !! uri boo makes a small little cameo in this chapter :D a part of the angst in this fic has also arrived, pls be prepared (it’s not that heavy tho).

You were 15 when you experienced your first ‘heartbreak’. Though, you call it a ‘heartbreak’ solely because it was a “for the lack of a better word” situation. A week before summer break, your parents had announced that the three of you would be flying off to Jeju to visit your grandparents.

You adore your grandparents, and they adore you just as much. Before you started middle school, you remember constantly flying off to Jeju, or even taking the ferry, to visit them every holiday and school break possible. Even during the initial stage of your move to the small town, your parents had sent you off to your grandparents as they sorted out the heavier parts.

Your grandparents had brought you to the beach, taught you how to make kimchi and even brought you to one of the fireworks shows during your stay. But, when you started middle school and were bombarded by a shit ton of schoolwork, you weren’t able to visit them as often.

So, you were ecstatic when your parents announced the Jeju trip. Both Aki and Seungcheol could see the excitement and happiness in your eyes as you told them about your plans.

Aki asking you questions about Jeju while Seungcheol listens to both of you with a small smile on his face. “how long will you be there, pup?” he asks, cheek leaning against the palm of his hand.

“Uhm… I think maybe for two weeks? I’m not really sure… Dad did ask mom if she wanted me to tag along with them to London afterwards…”

“Oh? What are they gonna be doing in London?”

“They have a business meeting that lasts at least two days. But, they decided to stay back a week for a mini vacation.”

“Do you want to go?” Aki asks as she pops a piece of strawberry into her mouth, stealing a glance at Seungcheol, noticing the way his shoulders are slumped at the mention of you thinking of joining your parents overseas.

Dude looks like a puppy not wanting its owner to leave it alone… she thought to herself, finding the scene in front of her amusing.

“Well, whether or not you want to join your parents, I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself regardless!” she spoke.

“Take good care of yourself, pup,” Seungcheol added as he reached out a hand and patted your head, sending a faint blush spreading across your cheeks and a teasing smile on Aki’s lips, “If you ever need anything, call me, okay?”

“Or me!”

The older male rolled his eyes at Aki’s words, smiling when you nod your head.

“Seungkwannie!” you squealed out in happiness as you ran up to your cousin who was standing out at the gates of your grandparent's house, engulfing him in a big hug. “I can’t believe you’re here! Mom and Dad said that you’d be in Biyangdo!”

“And miss out on the chance to spend time with my favourite cousin? Never!” Seungkwan proclaimed as he pecked your cheek. “I haven’t seen you in years, ___! There’s no way I’d pass off the opportunity to spend time with you while you’re here!”

Seungkwan is your cousin from your mom’s side of the family. Before the age of 5, you don’t remember much about meeting Seungkwan other than the stories both your parents would tell you over family dinners. For example, when you asked them about the scar Seungkwan had on his chest, his dad said you were the one that left it on him. They proceeded to tell the story of how you had scratched Seungkwan because he had refused to let you watch Pocoyo on tv when both of you were just 3.

Or when his mom would ask you if you remembered Seungkwan hiding in the closet to scare you, but you ended up crying because you had thought he went home. So, instead of scaring you, he came out of the closet and both your parents found the two of you cuddled up on the floor the next morning

After Seungkwan helped you and your parents move the luggage into your grandparent’s home, Both of you sat on the porch, drinking the lemonade your grandmother had prepared. “How’re you, aunt and uncle doing?” he asks, “I heard from Uncle Lee that you’re starting high school soon! probably in a few months, right?”

“Things have been the same, besides the whole mom and dad having to go overseas occasionally and I had to stay with either Aki or Seungcheol.”

“Speaking of Seungcheol, how’s that little crush of yours on him going?” Seungkwan asked with a teasing smile, nudging your sides, “Ever thought of telling him before he graduates? There’s a chance he might head off to the big cities or even abroad for college.”

You were silent for a moment.

You have thought about telling Seungcheol your feelings, but you never thought about the timing. Now that his graduation is nearing, you still haven’t told him. As you were still stuck in your thoughts, Seungkwan places a hand on your shoulder, “Well, whatever happens, I wish you happiness.“

“You say that as if I’m leaving you forever.”

“Hey, let me be sentimental!”

Just as you rolled your eyes, you felt your phone vibrate - you had gotten a text from Aki.

aki: did you make it to Jeju safe? ___ bestie <3: yeap! ___ bestie <3: i’m with my cousin rn ___ bestie <3: [sent an attachment] aki: ooh, he’s cute ___ bestie <3: want me to introduce you? aki: gurl aki: don’t try to matchmake me when you’re struggling to tell Seungcheol about how you feel aki: and besides aki: your cousin is cute, but he’s not my type ___ bestie <3: wow ___ bestie <3: you really just did me dirty aki: i’m just saying ___ aki: better tell him before you lose the chance aki: besides your romantic struggles aki: have fun and take lots of pictures! aki: can’t wait to see them when you get back <3 ___ bestie <3: i will!

“Are you gonna stay here with grandma and grandpa while Aunt and Uncle Lee fly out to London?” Seungkwan asks as you set down your phone, refilling his glass of lemonade. You shrugged, still debating on whether or not you wanted to join your parents. “I’m honestly stuck in between… On one hand, I want to see what other countries are like. On the other, I haven’t seen grandma and grandpa in years…”

Your mother who was on her way to give you both a plate of strawberries overheard the conversation and tried her best to help you with your indecisiveness. “___, sweetie,” she began as she set the plate on the wooden porch floor, “you can always travel in the future when you’re all grown up.”

“That sounds like you just want her to stay here in Jeju so you and uncle can enjoy yourselves without her presence,” Seungkwan teased, earning a forehead flick from your mother.

“Well, she’ll be in your care too, Seungkwan. I hope I won’t return to a sassy, diva daughter after leaving her here with you.”

Seungkwan gasps dramatically, placing a hand over his chest at your mother’s statement. “Aunt Lee, I’m hurt and offended.”

“You’re just further proving my point, Seungkwan.”

“Hey, the sass could end up helping her in the future!”

cheollie: hey, pup cheollie: mom said you and your parents made it to Jeju safely cheollie: how are you feeling? cheollie: did you get motion sickness during the flight? cheollie: did you eat dinner yet? sweet pup: ehh, the motion sickness wasn’t that bad sweet pup: grandma made lemonade :D sweet pup: and yes, i ate dinner! sweet pup: grandpa grilled some mackerel sweet pup: [sent an attachment] sweet pup: and look at how fat the strawberries are :0 sweet pup: [sent an attachment] cheollie: wow cheollie: those look good cheollie: hey, do you think it’s alright if we have a call? sweet pup: like, right now? cheollie: yea sweet pup: oh sweet pup: um, let me head out to the porch cheollie: take your time, pup

As you quietly exited the room you were staying in and out onto the porch, you picked up Seungcheol’s incoming call, feeling the butterflies in your stomach intensify when you heard his deep, “Hey, pup.”

“Hi, Cheollie! Have you had your dinner?” you asked, getting a small hum as a response. “Dad got a deal with a big client so he bought steak for us. Mom also cooked calamari.”

“Wow, it must’ve tasted amazing…”

“Yeah, it was. But, tell me about your dinner, ___. I’m sure you had more than just grilled mackerel.” Seungcheol chuckled, a blush spreading across your cheeks as you mentally cussed at how the older male still has an effect on you despite being 2 hours away and talking to you through a phone.

“Well… Mom made raw crabs and seafood soup!”

“Looks like my little puppy is eating well... That’s good.”

“Is there another reason you wanted to call, Cheollie?”

There was a moment of silence on the other end, making you slightly anxious. You hear a faint rustling, thinking he must be lying on his bed as he’s talking to you. A sigh was heard before Seungcheol told you his motive for calling you - and to say it had you on the floor was an understatement.

No, this man had you envisioning a future with him.

“I miss you.”

When you didn't respond, Seungcheol got worried, calling out your name on the other end while you remained stunned at his confession.

“U-uhm, yeah?”

“Did that make you uncomfortable, pup?”

“No, no, it just… It just caught me by surprise…”

You hear Seungcheol chuckle, and more rustling can be heard before he speaks again. “Well, I’m used to having you around me, twenty-four seven, ___. It feels weird when you’re not.”

“I’ll be back in two weeks, Cheollie. You’re being dramatic!”

Maybe he was, the older male thought to himself. But, he pushes that thought to the back of his head as he finally tells you the real reason he’s calling you.

“My parents are thinking of bringing me to Seoul this weekend to check out a few unis… I just thought that I’d let you know since, y’know… I’m graduating soon…”

Your heart sank at the mention of him graduating. You knew it was bound to happen - you even told yourself to not be too sad when he does end up moving out of Daegu for college. But, to hear it coming from Seungcheol himself, the reality hit harder.

“Oh… Well, I’m happy for you!” you tried your best to hide the sadness in your voice, though he still picked it up. “Pup, I’m not going away forever. You’ll still see me when I come back during breaks and when you leave for college, you can come over to Seoul, too!” he assures you, chuckling to himself as he continues, “Maybe our parents might even have us share an apartment so I can watch over you.”

Humming, you stared up into the sky, mesmerised by the stars that were scattered along the blanket of the night sky.

“___?”

“Yea…?”

“Remember what I taught you during our taekwondo sessions?”

“What about it?”

“Don’t forget how to use them, okay? Can’t have my little puppy all defenceless now, can I?”

you bit your lip as Seungcheol went on with his words, how he wished he could stay in Daegu longer so he could spend more time with you. How he wanted to explore the bigger city in Daegu with you (where he implies it being just two of you and without Aki who would often nag at him for having a bad taste in things).

“I’m gonna miss you…” you muttered quietly, not knowing how or what else you were supposed to say. You weren’t going to tell him about your feelings, that’s for sure. but, a part of you wished you could.

Who knows? Maybe you both could end up being something.

“It’s getting late, pup. you must be tired from the flight and settling in. Goodnight, ___.”

“Goodnight, Cheollie…”

When the call ended, you stared at the screen of your phone, a million thoughts racing through your head. You couldn’t put a finger on it, but you had a sinking feeling in your stomach. perhaps you were overthinking the whole situation or something wrong was bound to happen. Whatever it was, you quietly got back into your room and crawled into bed.

Something didn’t feel right.

It was the weekend Seungcheol was due to head to Seoul to have a look at the city and attend a few of the education fairs - and not once, had you gotten a single message from him.

In fact, in the days leading up to that weekend, he had been quiet too. His replies were either short, took too long or there weren’t any replies at all.

It makes you feel uneasy.

“Still no updates from loverboy?” Seungkwan asks, glancing over your shoulder and peeking at your phone, seeing the wall of texts about how the past few days have gone down for you. When you sulkingly shake your head, Seungkwan’s heart aches as he sees his favourite cousin down in the dumps.

“Hey,” he calls out in a gentle tone, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. “Maybe he’s just caught up with those college things. Sooner or later he’s bound to update you, right? Besides, you should be busy having fun here in Jeju!”

Looking at your phone one last time, you shoved it back into your pocket and let Seungkwan drag you to a food street, saying how they added more delicious treats since the last time you visited.

By evening, there was still no news about or from Seungcheol. You’ve tried calling him multiple times, but they all end up going to voicemail. It was starting to affect you and your parents began to take notice, but decided to not question it for fear of triggering an episode. After dinner, you decided to call Aki in an attempt to get some form of comfort.

“I just don’t understand, Aki,” you told her, “I texted him, even called him but I got nothing! What if something bad happened to him?”

“Hey now, you’re probably overthinking things. He might just be sorting those uni documents out - you know how lengthy and taxing they can be. Maybe, he’s just tired and needs some rest!”

“You think so?”

“It’s just a guess, ___. whatever it is, I’m sure it isn’t anything serious.”

Oh, how you wished it really wasn’t anything serious.

When the time came to send your parents off at the airport for their trip to London, you had sent a message to Seungcheol and yet again, you got no response. One thing you came to realise in recent years, was how big of an over-thinker you are. It was something you hated and while your family, Seungcheol and Aki have done whatever they can to help you lessen your overthinking, that still doesn’t stop it from creeping up on you from time to time.

Seungkwan does his best to cheer you up. Bringing you to more food streets, a maze field, and even the seaside to take your mind off of Seungcheol but alas, it was as if Seungcheol had taken over your mind just like the virus in ‘The Last of Us’. One evening as you sat on the sand of the beach, staring off into the horizon, Seungkwan came up and sat next to you.

“I know this might not sound nice, but you can’t let something like Seungcheol not responding to you ruin your trip, ___. Sure, it’s upsetting having someone you’ve known for years and care for go ghost on you, but it’s kind of… pathetic, to let it ruin what could be a fun summer vacation.”

As much as those words hurt you, Seungkwan was right.

You hadn’t seen your family that lived in Jeju for years and now that you can, you’re letting something like your crush not responding to you ruin it. “Then, what should I do, Kwannie…?” you asked, wiping the tears that were starting to stream down your face, “I don’t wanna leave Jeju knowing I didn’t get to spend time with you and our grandparents…”

“How about you try calling him only once? If he doesn’t pick up, we’ll forget about it and move on, okay?”

You give it a thought, minutes passing by before you pick up your phone and dial Seungcheol’s number, placing it near your ear.

“We’re sorry, the number you have dialled cannot be reached.”

Seungkwan noticed your body shaking as you redialled the number, your breathing starting to grow shallow.

“We’re sorry, the number you have dialled cannot be reached.”

“___?” Seungkwan calls out, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. When you began to cry, he pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back as you cried your heart out. “Shhh, it’s okay, ____. it’s okay.”

When you got back to Daegu, your heart dropped at the sight of the empty house next to yours. the entire house looked as if it were fully emptied (which it was) - the potted plants Mrs. Choi had displayed on the gates were nowhere to be seen, the shoes that were neatly arranged on the shoe rack weren’t there anymore, and the Choi’s family car wasn’t parked in its usual place.

“I guess they must’ve moved since Seungcheol is going to start college soon…” your mother tells your father who hums in response as he unloads the luggage from the trunk of the taxi. When she notices the sadness and tears in your eyes, she immediately starts comforting you.”Oh, sweetie… Does it upset you that much?”

“I… I couldn’t even say goodbye to him…” you sobbed out, “I couldn’t even see him one last time before he left…”

“Oh, princess…” your father coos after bidding the taxi driver goodbye, hugging you tight as your mother does the same, “I’m sure he feels sad for not being able to do the same, hmm?”

“Will… Will I… Will I be able to see him again?” you asked through hiccuped sobs, wiping your tears away as more kept spilling. Your mother nods, giving you a pat on the head. “I'm sure you will, honey.”

“He said he’s thinking of joining University of Pledis, right?” your father asked, a small smile on his face when you nod, “Then, you just need to study hard and get in there too! That way, you can finally be reunited with prince charming!”

despite your tears, you still manage to laugh at your dad’s tease. “Dad!”

“Ah-ah, don’t think we didn’t know about your little crush on Seungcheol, ___.” he responded, chuckling as he gave your arm an assuring squeeze.

“Whatever the future has in store, I’m sure the two of you will meet again.”

taglist (unable to tag a few ㅠㅠ)

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iamasimperyk · 28 days

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Meeting his daughter -Rafe Cameron

Summary: You meet his daughter for the first time and you are kind of nervous.

Warnings: Fluff, mention of divorce, mention of taboo topic, not proofread, English is not my first language

Pairing: Professor!Rafe x Reader

Rafe told you the truth. After that night he and his wife talked about a divorce and both agreed with their decision. The only thing Rafe didn't tell his wife was that you were his student.

To your surprise, his now ex-wife was not as cruel as you thought. She was actually quite nice. She was willing to allow Rafe to visit his daughter whenever he wanted and had every second weekend designated as dad weekend.

His daughter's name was Daisy and she was a literal angel-at least that's what Rafe told you.

Today it was your first time to meet her. To say that you were scared was an understatement.

"Y/n, calm down. She will love you." Rafe chuckled, watching as you paced around his expensive home.

You placed the chocolate cake you had made on the table before you started to look for any dirty spots you could possibly clean.

"I am the reason her parents divorced," You mumbled, wiping over the marble floor.

"That's not true, and you know it. Neither of us was happy in that marriage, and it was definitely not a great environment for a child." Rafe sighed, laying his hand over yours to stop you from cleaning.

You looked at his beautiful blue eyes, kissing his cheek.

You loved moments like this. When it was just you and Rafe, you could be a normal couple before having to hide again at college or anywhere you went.

"I love you," Rafe smiled, his eyes holding nothing but honesty.

"I love you too," You wanted to lean in and kiss him when the doorbell suddenly interrupted you.

Rafe gave you a reassuring nod, before he opened the front door, revealing Daisy and her mother.

"Daddy," She let out an enthusiastic scream and ran into his open arms.

"I missed you too, pumpkin." He said in a gentle tone.

You stood there, watching the scene in awe. It was one of Rafe's sides, that not a lot of people were allowed to see since it made him vulnerable.

"Hi, Y/n." Rafe's ex greeted you. You had already met her a few weeks ago and somehow the two of you got along really well, even when you were the complete opposite of her.

"Hi, nice to meet you again," You smiled and took Daisy's backpack out of her hand.

A moment later, Daisy let go of her dad and turned to her mother.

"Have fun with Daddy and Y/n, I will see you on Sunday." She kissed her daughter's forehead and gave her a big hug.

Afterwards, she walked to her car, and Rafe closed the door before turning to his daughter, "I want you to meet my girlfriend Y/n."

Butterflies interrupted in your stomach at his use of words.

Daisy looked at you with curious eyes, but turned to Rafe quickly, signalling him to pick her up which he immediately did.

"She is really pretty," She tried to whisper but you heard her clearly.

Rafe chuckled, "I know."

Daisy turned her head towards you, "My name is Daisy, I am three years old and my favourite colour is blue."

This little girl was adorable and you couldn't help but melt at her words, "Hi, I am Y/n, I am 20 years old and my favourite colour is Y/f/c."

Of course, it was a silly introduction, but you wanted to make her happy and it seemed like it worked.

"Do you want to see my toys?" She asked, her eyes full of hope.

You quickly nodded, "I would love to."

Rafe set her down, and she immediately took your hand, pulling you into the living room.

Rafe stood in the doorframe, watching you play with his daughter.

This was a new chapter of his life, and he was excited to explore it with you by his side.

A.N; Please don’t be mad at me that this chapter is full of fluff and Daisy and her mom actually have no problem with the reader😭

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron #rafe x you #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #obx #outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks x you #outer banks x y/n #rafe cameron fluff #fluff #professor rafe cameron #professor!rafe cameron

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storiesforallfandoms · 1 year

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he already has my approval ~ taron egerton

word count: 4393

request?: no

description: in which her dad keeps trying to set her up with her celebrity crush, who just so happens to be playing him in a biopic

pairing: taron egerton x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two, three)

The first time I met Taron was on the red carpet for Kingsman: The Golden Circle, and it did not go as well as I had wished it would’ve.

I had seen the first movie in theaters when it came out and immediately developed a crush on Eggsy, and, in turn, on his actor Taron. When dad was offered a cameo in the sequel, I think I was more excited than he was. I begged dad basically every day to let me go to set with him, but I was in college at the time and neither of my dads would let me miss that much time to travel just to meet my celebrity crush. It felt unfair at the time, but they had a point in the long run.

When the day of the premiere came around, dad took me as his plus one to the red carpet. I was buzzing with excitement the entire day as dad’s stylists came in to help us get ready for the night, but the minute our ride pulled up to the red carpet my excitement turned to nervousness. There was no reason for me to be so nervous. I had been to huge events like this before, and of course I had met famous people plenty of times. But there was something about meeting my actual celebrity crush that made me feel like a high schooler who was about to go on her first date.

Dad introduced me to Taron, because of course he did. Fatherhood never changed who dad was, and he was shithead, cocky, lived to tease everyone in his life Elton John. I always knew it was a bad idea to tell dad about my crush on Taron, but I never regretted it more than when I heard him shout across the red carpet, “Taron, darling, come here!”

He looked like the most handsome man in the entire world dressed in his suit, his smile lighting up his face as he approached us. That moment was when I realized he was real. He wasn’t just a character on my screen; he was an actual real person. And now he was stood in front of me. So close that I could smell his cologne, and boy, did it ever smell good.

“Taron, I want you to meet my daughter (Y/N),” dad said, gesturing to me. I was still in such awe by his beauty that I almost forgot who I even was.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, (Y/N),” Taron said as he shook my hand. “Elton has spoke very highly of you.”

My brain was definitely short circuiting. Hearing him say my name was one thing, but then for him to also say that he’s heard a lot about me from dad also contributed to it. When I realized I was just stood there staring at him like an idiot, I felt embarrassment wash over me. I tried to force myself to say something, but it was like I completely forgot how to speak English.

“She’s a little shy because she has a crush on you.”

I turned to look at dad in disbelief. If there was a higher power, They would do me a favor and open up the floor to swallow me whole and take me away from this entire situation.

I made my escape before Taron could say anything. I turned away from the two of them and walked away as quickly as possible.

The memory haunted my nightmares for a while afterwards. Even after I managed to forget about it for the most part, the intrusive thought would pop into my mind from time to time just to make me cringe. I could barley ever watch Taron’s movies anymore without thinking about that moment, which was hard since I still had such a big crush on him.

A year later, I was on set with dad and papa for the movie papa was producing about dad. Papa was so excited, as he was making the movie as a gift to dad. Papa had complete creative freedom and dad was able to give as much input as he wanted. When filming started, the two of them wanted to bring me, Zachary, and Elijah on set to watch some of the filming. They hadn’t told me much about the movie just yet, but papa’s excitement was contagious enough that I was feeling it, too.

“We’re filming the Troubadour scene today,” papa was telling us. “Full 70s aesthetic. You guys are gonna feel like you were really there to see your dad’s first ever solo performance.”

“Do I get any 70s outfits once you guys are done filming?” I asked.

“Darling, you know we have a closet full of all my favorite outfits from those days,” dad said. “You’re free to go through it as you please. It’ll be the real deal, not some cheaply made replicas.”

“Hey! You’re the one who approved of Taron’s wardrobe!” papa said with a chuckle.

The mention of his name made me stop in my tracks. “Wait...whose wardrobe?”

Both of them looked at me, confused by my reaction. “Taron, honey,” papa said. “That’s who’s playing dad in the movie. You didn’t know that?”

Memories from the year before came rushing back. I could not see him again or else I may just turn into an embarrassment puddle at his feet. I especially couldn’t be here with dad and have a potential repeat of the situation.

As if reading my thoughts, dad walked up to me and gently took my hand in his. “Honey, it’s been a year. He’s not going to remember.”

“But what if he does?” I asked. “God, he probably thinks I’m crazy after our first encounter. I can’t watch the filming.”

“Hey, hey, calm down sweetheart,” papa said. “You’re working yourself up. It’s okay. If you feel uncomfortable you don’t have to watch, but I don’t think it’ll be as bad as you’re expecting.”

I took a couple deep breaths to calm myself down. I wanted to be there and support both of my dads on this project they were both so excited over. I knew they were right and Taron likely didn’t even remember our first encounter, but I still couldn’t shake this pre-embarrassment feeling about seeing him again.

I sucked it up and followed them to the Troubadour set. There were many extras dressed in 70s clothes standing around the stage. The general murmur of the crowd turned into an excited one as people began to notice dad walking onto the set. I couldn’t see Taron anywhere, but I did recognize Richard Madden talking to the movie’s director, Dex Fletcher. Zachary was tightly holding my hand, trying to hide behind me. I knew the crowd was likely making him nervous, so I squeezed his hand and picked him up.

“Lead actor walking the set!”

I felt my body tense as everyone turned to see Taron taking the stage. He was wearing a pair of white overalls and a navy blue shirt with silver stars. He had on a wig that looked like dad’s hair from this time period and a pair of thick framed glasses that matched his overalls. He looked really good, even if he was dressed as my dad.

It took my brain a moment to register that he was walking towards us. I felt the panic return, but I tried my best to play it cool.

“It’s like looking in a mirror,” dad said as he embraced Taron. “I still have this outfit I’m pretty sure. I was just telling (Y/N) that I still have all my favorite outfits back home going all the way back to this very first performance.”

At the mention of my name, Taron’s eyes landed on me. I tried not to crumple under his gaze, and kept the smile on my face.

“Hey,” Taron said. “Good to see you again.”

“Good to see you, too,” I said, surprisingly myself with how confident i sounded.

“Who is this little guy?” Taron asked, referring to Zachary. The young boy buried his face in my neck, peaking one eye up at Taron.

“This is Zachary,” I said. “Z, this is Taron. Doesn’t he look like daddy?”

Taron struck a pose for Zachary, who seemed to warm up slightly but not a lot.

“What do you think, Elijah?” papa asked the youngest boy. “Do you think Taron looks like daddy?”

Elijah shook his head. “Daddy is old!”

We burst out into laughter as dad gave Elijah a mocked offended look. Elijah squealed as dad picked him up and began tickling his sides. Zachary was still a bit hesitant, but I could feel his body shaking as he chuckled in my arms.

“Come on, Rocket Man, we gotta start filming,” Dex called to Taron.

Taron made his way onto the set stage. Quiet was called and a hush fell over the room. The minute Dex called action, music filled the silence. One of dad’s songs, his least favorite yet one of his most popular ones, began to play. Except it wasn’t dad singing it, it was Taron’s voice. I was a little shocked to hear him singing instead of there being a backing track of dad’s music, but I had to admit he was an amazing singer. It was a fantastic choice they made. His singing voice was amazing and it made the movie have more of a fantastical musical vibe, instead of just a movie with dad’s voice dubbed over for the music.

I tried to get Zachary out of his shell more by dancing with him while the music was playing. We were not strangers to dad’s music. The three of us had seen dad perform on numerous occasions. I figured the familiarity of the music, plus the goofy dancing would definitely help with his nervousness. And I was right for the most part; Zachary came out of his nervous cocoon eventually and started dancing with me. By the time Dex called cut on the scene, Zachary felt comfortable enough to be put back down on to the floor and followed dad and papa to meet Jamie Bell, who was playing Uncle Bernie.

“Seems he enjoyed the show.”

I jumped at the sound of Taron’s voice so suddenly. He was laughing at my reaction as I turned back to him, my heart beating a million beats per second just having him so close to me.

“I think he just needed some time to warm up to being around so many people,” I said. “Usually when we go to dad’s shows we’re in a special VIP area where it’s just the three of us and papa, so he’s not used to so many people and so much attention being on him.”

“I get that. He’s only young. Doesn’t fully understand how well loved his dad is.”

“I don’t think I even fully understand it, and I’m in my mid 20s,” I said.

Taron chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile too. The realization of his realness was starting to wash over me again. He was actually here, stood in front of me, talking to me. He was a real person!

“Listen,” Taron said, “I wanted to talk about the first time we met.”

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I tried not to let my embarrassment show too much. Maybe if I pretended I didn’t even remember, we could just move on from the entire situation and pretend like it never happened.

“I’m sorry it went the way that it did,” he continued. “I know you were embarrassed about what your dad said. I know Elton meant no harm, and he was just trying to tease you because...well, he’s Elton John, but it really wasn’t fair of him to say that to me when we were first meeting. I could tell by your face that that wasn’t exactly the way you wanted our first meeting to go.”

I was a little surprised by what he was saying. I don’t know why I was expecting for him to say something that would make the situation worse, like maybe calling me out on my crush and saying something about it. He seemed like a really nice guy, not the type to make someone feel bad. But I guess, after having an entire year to let that embarrassing moment stew, I just expected the worst if I ever met him again.

“I appreciate you saying that,” I said. “It definitely was not the way I wanted to meet the guy I had such a big crush on. I think dad expects stuff like that to wash over me like water off a duck’s back because of who he is and how many famous people I’ve met and am close to, but his status never makes those types of interactions easier. Again, especially when meeting someone that I was crushing so hard on.”

Taron was giving me a look that I wasn’t sure how to read at first. “Was?”

My brows furrowed together. “Hmm?”

“You said ‘someone I was crushing on’. As in you’re not anymore?”

I wasn’t sure why that was the part he was focusing on. I opened my mouth to respond, but Dex called to Taron again. Taron looked at me and winked behind the thick framed glasses before making his way back to set to start filming again. And it was with that wink that I could not handle anymore and finally had to sit myself down.

~~~~~~

I kept coming to set the next few weeks. At first it was only one day out of the week for a couple of hours, but soon enough I was tagging along with dad and papa every day. I tried to tell them it was because I was enjoying watching the movie being filmed, and getting to relive these big moments with dad, but they both knew that wasn’t the truth. They knew I was going because I wanted to see Taron.

We had gotten to talking a lot in between takes when I was on set. About everything and anything really. It started with just getting to know each other, but eventually it blossomed into talking about whatever was on our minds. Sometimes it was about the movie, sometimes it wasn’t. Either way, we just got to know one another. And eventually, my “celebrity crush” became a real one.

I knew my dads could see what was going on, but they didn’t bring it up. I figured that was mostly because of how my first interaction with Taron went and dad didn’t want to risk embarrassing me like that again. Which, I did appreciate. I felt like a friendship was being built with Taron and I didn’t want that to be risked with fatherly embarrassment to the extreme, even though I knew that wasn’t dad’s intentions.

One day, we walked on set and I was surprised to see Taron was nowhere in sight. Instead, we walked into a setup that looked like great grandma Ivy’s apartment that I had seen in plenty of dad’s baby pictures. There were three different actors than normal on set, one I recognized as Bryce Dallas Howard and one young boy I recognized to be dressed up the way dad had been when he was that age. I realized pretty quickly that today was probably mostly shooting scenes of flashbacks from dad’s childhood, which caused me to feel disappointed realizing that I likely wouldn’t be seeing Taron today.

I was sat in my usual seat (because yes, I had visited so often that I was given a seat with my name on it) watching the set up for the scene when dad came over and sat next to me, dramatically sighing as his body settled into the chair.

“These old bones can hardly sit down anymore,” he said.

I smiled at him. “Oh, please. You’re hardly that old, dad. Besides, we both know that after everything you’ve gone through, you’re going to outlive us all.”

“A man can only hope.” We laughed together. Dad put an arm around my shoulder and leaned into me. “Taron’s in his trailer, you know.”

“Oh?” I said, hoping I didn’t seem as excited by this information as I was. “He’s filming later on then?”

“Yeah, way later on this evening. David said that Taron showed up way earlier than he needed to claiming that he thought his call time was this morning, not this evening.” I raised an eyebrow at him, silently telling him to say whatever it was he was trying to say. “I don’t think that was the case, though.”

“Clearly.”

“I think he came here early hoping to see you.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “I think you’re being a little ambitious there dad.”

“About as ambitious as I would be to say that you show up every day so you can see him, too?” When I didn’t respond to that, dad just laughed. “I see things, (Y/N). My eyes may be old, but they can still see things that no one else sees.”

“And what is it that you see with me and Taron?”

“I see a young man who is enamored by a young woman, and a young woman who feels the same way. I also see two cowards who are too afraid to confess their feelings to one another.”

I playfully nudged him with my elbow, to which he dramatically clutched his stomach and acted like I had shot him or something.

“I’m not saying that Taron feels anything for me,” I said, “because I don’t think he does. I think he’s just being friendly with someone that he considers to be a friend. But, if what you’re saying is right and he does have romantic interest in me, maybe the reason why he won’t admit it is because he’s too afraid to? I mean, my dad is Elton John after all. That’s a pretty big name to have as a potential father-in-law.”

“Hey now, I didn’t say anything about marrying you off to the man.” I smiled and shook my head. This really was just an every day thing with dad. He loved being a father, but I think he loved being a nuisance more than that. Papa always warned him he would regret that when Zachary, Elijah, and I started to pick up on his habits. “But both of you know that Taron has my approval if he does want to pursue you romantically. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have even been cast in this movie!”

“You cast him because he’s a good actor!”

“Oh, that was only part of it. The other part was so that you two could have a do-over with your meeting, since I ruined the last one.”

I put my head on dad’s shoulder. “You didn’t ruin it. You just embarrassed me beyond belief, but that’s what a father does.”

Dad gave me a small squeeze before pulling me away from him. “Go to his trailer. Have a few moments alone.”

“Give you a few grandkids?”

He pushed me away, which caused me to laugh hysterically.

“Darling, I may be old but I am certainly not that old,” he said. “And, again, I said I approve of him. Not that you two need to get married and pop out babies right away. Go on a few dates first, for the love of God.”

I stood from my chair, still laughing. Dad tried to glare at me, but he couldn’t. This was just our relationship.

I made my way out of the set before they started filming so that I wouldn’t be disrupting anything. All the trailers were grouped together in the lot, luckily with signs on them to label what or whose trailer they were. Taron’s was the furthest on the lot, with a theatrical gold star stuck to the door with his name on it. Part of me figured this was dad’s doing, but the other part of me would believe that it was Dex’s doing, too. Papa truly couldn’t have chosen a better director to capture dad’s personality and aesthetic than Dex.

My heart was pounding so loud that I thought Taron would hear it before I even knocked. I took a deep breath and pushed myself to knock before I got too nervous and ran away instead. There was a brief rustling in the trailer before the door opened, revealing Taron in a pair of black and gold hot pants, a gold jacket that was left unzipped so I could see his entire torso and chest, and heeled shoes with gold tips and gold wings on the side. I wasn’t sure where to look first. My eyes naturally lingered on his chest, his coarse chest hair a welcoming sight, but I couldn’t help but glance lower at his thighs in those hot pants, too. Not to mention the bulge -

“Shit,” Taron breathed, a panicked look in his eyes. “Sorry, uh, I didn’t expect...I thought it might’ve been someone from the set. I’m just...uh...”

“In costume, I would assume,” I said, trying to pretend like I was looking at his shoes and not another area lower on his body.

“Yeah,” he said. His face was starting to turn bright read. “It’s for a scene later on...way later on. I’m - I was early today, so they already put me through costume and makeup.” He cleared his throat and ran his hands through his hair. “Do you, um, do you want to come in?”

I nodded, unsure if I could even form any words. He stepped aside to let me into his trailer. He still looked flustered by my sudden appearance, which I thought was cute.

“Don’t be sorry, by the way,” I told him. “I don’t mind this eye full that I’m getting. Quite the opposite, really.”

That only made him more flustered, and I couldn’t help but smirk at that reaction.

“You’re a lot like your dad,” he commented. “He said something similar while we were filming Kingsman a few years ago.”

“We Furnish-Johns have good taste in men.”

I sat down on the couch of his trailer and he sat across from me. I tried not to be too obvious with my gawking, but it was hard not to look at him. God, was he ever attractive. And here he was, sat next to me, practically naked, and all flustered because I had caught him this way. I felt like I should be feeling a similar way, but knowing that I was the one who had made him feel that way just made me feel so cocky instead.

“I didn’t think you were on set today,” I told him. “I showed up and didn’t see you or Jamie or Richard.”

“We’re filming a couple smaller scenes later on to end the day. Dex wanted to film all of the flashback shots of your dad before he was Elton John today, just to get that out of the way.”

“You got here really early for that. It’s not even noon, and your scenes are this evening papa said.”

Taron shrugged. “I got the wrong call time.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “By over 12 hours?”

He shrugged again, but didn’t offer any further explanation.

I took a deep breath, once again willing that cockiness to stay long enough so that I could say what I wanted to say without losing my nerve. “Remember the first day on set where we talked about the first time we met, and you made a point of asking me about my crush on you.”

Taron nodded. “Yeah. You made it seem like you didn’t feel that way anymore.”

“Yeah, I did. Because I thought I would scare you away if I admitted that I did still like you that way.” I was moving towards him now, closing the already smaller space between us. “That I do still like you that way, if you get what I’m saying.”

We were so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. He was looking down at me in a way that I could only ever dream of having Taron Egerton look at me like. It was like the movies I had seen him in, except this was real life and the person he was looking at was actually me.

“I think I understand,” he said. “But just in case, is it okay if I do an experiment just to be sure?”

I giggled. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

He placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head back until I was looking up at him. He leaned forward at an agonizing pace before his lips finally pressed against mine. It felt like the entire world around us paused in that moment. I had to restrain myself from getting onto his lap and deepening the kiss, even though I wanted to so badly. I wanted to spend the next few hours in this trailer with him, not even letting him leave to go film. I wanted to be tangled up with him and never let him go ever again.

The kiss ended far too soon. When Taron pulled away, I tried to chase his lips to pull him back to me. He chuckled at my eagerness, allowing his lips to press against mine for a quick peck.

“Let me take you out before we get too hot and heavy,” he told me. “I want to take you on a proper date.”

“I guess we should do that before I jump your bones,” I teased. “But you do still have quite some time till your call time. If you’d like company while you wait, I wouldn’t mind staying here with you for a while. Especially if you’re going to be dressed like that the whole time.”

Taron’s face turned red again as he looked down at himself, almost like he forgot what he had been wearing. “Might be too tempting for you.”

“It definitely will be. But I will respect your virtue and not try to deflower you in your trailer.”

He buried his face in his hands. “Oh my God! What have I gotten myself into here?”

“Something pretty great, if you ask me.”

#taron egerton #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton x reader #rocketman #elton john #imagine #one shot #rpf #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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hoedamn-eron · 1 year

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he found the box of condoms - part 2

You’re telling your parents and Paul about your relationship with your neighbour; who happens to be your best friend’s father.

Warnings: Age gap, but it is appropriate/legal. Some swearing, from a very angry Paul. An awful lot of dialogue. I have never seen nor read Dune (yet), so there may be some inaccuracies (Duke and Paul being OOC, stuff like that), but it's Modern!AU anyway. Slightly proof-read, as per usual. Word count: 2,815 GN!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Finally this is out! This isn't my best work and I was conscious I hadn't actually posted for a while so I wanted to get this out as soon as possible. Apologies to everyone! Also, this may have suddenly turned into a 3-parter.

Part 1 ● Part 3

Your parents were always supportive of you, whatever you wanted to do.

From when you didn’t want to go to college to travel, when you took up those piano lessons before deciding to give them up; they even supported you when you were fifteen and made the bad decision to go to that house party where the police were called. Of course, your parents weren’t exactly happy with the outcome, but they were firm believers that you could make decisions for yourself, whether they were right or wrong. You had always dealt with the consequences of your own actions, you’d always learned from them.

They were never really ‘disappointed’ in you; or if they were, they’d never said it out loud. You were terrified of doing so, since they had been so encouraging of you, and giving you the freedom you had. Now, though, as you prepared to tell them that you were in a relationship with a man twenty years older than you, who happened to be their very good friend, you were terrified they wouldn’t be able to look at you the same. Not that there was anything they could do about it, you were both adults. And it was your relationship.

And really, it was 2022, age gaps in relationships was becoming more the norm. If your parents -

“Is that okay for you, honey?”

Your mother was looking at you with a questioning look on her face, glass of red wine in her hand. You were having dinner with your parents, having decided to let them know about Leto. You and Leto. You and Leto being a couple. Your nerves had kicked in as soon as your mother called everyone into the kitchen to plate up and you had merely picked at your food since, a heavy feeling in your stomach, making you feel nauseous. You just knew your parents were going to flip out over it.

You stare at your mother again as she called your name. Your eyes widened. She was talking about something. What was it?

“Sorry?” you asked, realising you had taken too long to answer.

“You’re going to travel up with me and your dad for Rebecca’s wedding?”

Rebecca was your older cousin. Her and James had been together for five years before they got engaged, before finally deciding to actually plan the wedding two years afterwards. Now your family was treating this wedding like it was the next Royal Wedding, so everyone was going to be there. You were going to sit out, you were never overly close to Rebecca, since she was a few years older than you and you hardly saw her, since she lived a few states away, but your parents were keen for you to join them.

You knew why. Although supportive in your decisions, your parents were still traditional in the sense that they hate to see you ‘on your own’. They were not-so-secretly hoping you would start settling down soon, and thinking about your future, maybe getting married and having a family of your own (they had been mentioning grandchildren a lot recently) but would they still feel the same knowing that you’d been seeing Leto Atreides? Because you hadn’t even thought that far ahead. Of course you really liked Leto, it wasn’t just a passing fling, you’d been together for seven months already.

But surely it was far too early to think about that. You cringe at the thought of having to explain to your parents that you just might not want children. Would Leto even want kids anymore, he’s twenty years older than you? Would he even want to get married? He’d said so himself, after losing Paul’s mother, it took him a long time to even start considering dating again, never mind marriage. And you were only twenty-five, nearing twenty-six, and you didn’t quite have a career yet, you weren’t even remotely thinking about extending your family. Would your parents understand, if you didn’t want children? Regardless of if you wanted them or not, Leto and your father had been friends since Leto moved to the neighbourhood, and you were his child, would your parents even accept that you would even have children with Leto?

You’re getting ahead of yourself. You’re panicking. Your parents haven’t even said anything yet. You need to get a grip.

You’ve taken too long to answer your mother again.

“Do I get a plus one?”

Your mother raises her eyebrows at you as your father stopped eating, also looking at you with a look on his face that you can’t quite distinguish. You looked between your parents with an unsure look on your face before your mother clears her throat and answers, “Unfortunately not, but was there someone you were thinking of asking to come along?”

You didn’t say anything. Couldn’t say anything. Your mouth was open but nothing was coming out. Your parents were staring at you expectedly, not trying to push you but you could see how curious and more worried they became as time went on.

You groaned as you buried your head in your hands, leaning your elbows on the table. This might be easier if you didn’t look at them. “You can’t be mad at me because I’m a grown adult and I’m working with a full-time job and I nearly have enough to move out – “

“Where’s this going?” your dad asks, his usual no-beating-around-the-bush tone.

You swallow thickly. Just tell them. It’s not like you were hooked on drugs or doing God-knows-what at God-knows-what-time (not that you were an adult, like you said. Plucking up the smallest amount of courage you have, you blurt out. “I’mseeingsomeone.”

Your parents stare at you before your mother grinned, your father chuckling and going back to his food. “Oh honey, we know.”

Your mouth falls open as you look between the two. “You…you know?”

“You’re not exactly smooth about it,” said your dad. “You’re sneaking out like you used to do in high school. You don’t have to do that, anymore, you know.”

Was this a joke? Some sort of trick? You felt a cold chill go down your spine, and you were still sweating. They were acting way too calm about it. They’d already gone back to eating, so nonchalant about the whole thing. How long had they known about you and Leto? Why hadn’t they ripped you a new one when they found out? Your dad was ex-military, you were sure he was going to storm over next door, all gung-ho, guns a-blazing.

“So…you’re both okay with it?” you look between both of them, who were both still casually eating their food.

“Why wouldn’t we be okay with it?” your mother asked. “Like you said, you’re an adult and we trust you. You’re being safe though, yeah?”

“Oh God, mom, yes,” you said, feeling your cheeks burning as you avert your eyes.

“Well that’s all we ask for,” she replied, giving you a smile.

“So when do we meet him?”

You look at your dad with wide eyes. “Pardon?”

“Your new boyfriend, when do we get to meet him?”

Oh shit, they didn’t know as much as you thought.

“So you don’t…know who he is, then?”

“Why would we know?” your dad asked.

Your mother suddenly gasped. “Oh my goodness, is it Paul?” your mother laughed. “I always thought you two would be cute together, but you’d always said you were just good friends!”

You were already shaking your head. “N-no, not Paul. He’s got a new girlfriend.”

Oh God, what do you do?

You can’t lie to them, because you’re a terrible liar and they always know when you’re fibbing. They were expecting it to be someone they might know, someone your own age. Oh this was such a bad idea to do this today, you should have waited until you’d moved out. You couldn’t bear to think about the looks your parents would give you until you do.

“If it’s not Paul, then who is it?”

You had almost forgotten what you were doing and your mother’s question made you jump. You looked at your parents, who were looking at you with raised eyebrows. You had obviously taken too long to answer them. Again. You were getting a headache.

“I-I don’t want you guys to be weirded out by it, but I know you will.” You swallowed nervously, your throat suddenly feeling incredibly dry. “Just know that it…I like this guy a lot and it’s becoming a bit more serious – “

“Just tell us who it is, honey,” your mother said, looking at you nervously.

You clear your throat, averting your gaze to your mostly untouched plate of food. It was now or never. “It’s…it’s…uh, it’s – “

“You’re fucking my dad!?”

Paul had fantastic timing.

You hadn’t even heard him come in. You looked over at Paul, who was breathing heavily from his place at the kitchen door, as if he’d ran over here as quick as he could (he probably did). It was as if he couldn’t see your parents, his gaze locked on you, a mix between confusion and anger. Your eyes were wide as he stared at you, his hands curled tightly into fists at his sides, his jaw clenched tightly.

You had seen this expression on Paul before, but you never thought it would have been aimed at you.

“Well?” he demanded through his teeth at your silence.

You didn’t know what to say. You were just staring at him like he’d grown a second head, aware that your parents were looking between the two of you with equally as shocked looks. Your parents were thrown in at the deep end, and not gently told. You know your dad is about to go on the rampage to Leto’s house if you don’t calm the situation down in the next five minutes.

“I was…it just happened, one night, okay, and now we’re – “

“Fucking?”

“Paul!” you snapped, eyeing your parents, who were still looking at you with that shocked expression on their faces (although your dad’s complexion was slowly reddening as his jaw tightened). “Can you calm down?”

Where was Leto?

“Calm down? Calm down?”

“Please.” You stood from your chair, practically pleading, begging Paul to just let you get your side of the story out, for his sake and your parents. Your dad’s breathing was getting heavier and your mother’s mouth was opening and closing, like she couldn’t find the words to say. It was bad. It was worse than you thought it would be. “Just let me explain…”

Paul looked at you expectantly, waving his hand out dramatically, giving you an impatient, “Go ahead.”

You finally looked back at your parents, your mother looking at you with confusion, your father with barely contained fury. You gasped through your teeth, scrambling to calm the situation. “Look, it isn’t just a…we’re serious about each other.”

“Yeah, my dad, who you’re fucking, made it pretty clear how serious you both were.”

“Paul – “ you cut yourself off by closing your eyes tightly and pinching the bridge of your nose. Your headache was getting worse.

“When did this happen?”

Your eyes widened, practically giving yourself whiplash as you turn your head to look at your father, who had seemed to have regulated his breathing. But he still sat stiffly in his seat, his forgotten glass of water gripped hard in his left hand. You stuttered out, “When you and mom were away, seven months ago. Well, nearly eight months ago now.”

“You and…you and Leto?”

You grimaced. “Dad, it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“No, of course not, it’s just that my very good friend has been sleeping with my kid.”

“Dad!” you snapped, appalled at his wording. “That’s not what it is!”

Paul took a step towards you, his anger flaring up again. “That’s exactly what it is! It’s weird, and sick, and you have no right – “

Your mouth fell open in shock. “No right? No right? I’m an independent, fully grown adult, as is your dad! We can date whoever we want, including each other.”

“Well I’m telling you to stop!”

You scoffed at him, actually even laughing at his sheer entitlement. You knew Paul wouldn’t be happy about the news; he was protective of his father, and of you too. But you didn’t think it would come to this, that Paul would ban you from seeing Leto. You wondered how their conversation went. Did Paul react the same? Did he ban Leto from seeing you? Is that why Leto was still MIA?

You cross you arms over your chest and shake your head at Paul. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I don’t think it’s so unbelievable that I’m asking you to stop dating my dad.”

“We’re both happy, Paul! Why can’t you just be happy for us?”

“Because it’s you, and my dad!” Paul cried, his hands flailing.

“My parents aren’t even making this much of a fuss!”

“That’s still in court,” your dad muttered, your mom giving him a swat on the arm, shushing him before she turned back to you and Paul, watching carefully.

She had yet to say a word.

Paul gave a laugh of disbelief as he ran his hands through his hair, turning away from you, barely able to calm the anger that was burning hot in his chest. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this is happening. My best friend. My best friend and my dad! Why? Why is this happening?

You couldn’t answer him, because truly, you still question yourself every day why Leto chose to be with you. You didn’t know why he gave you the chance, why that night happened that seemed so long ago, on the couch that you could actually see from your place in the kitchen. The memories cause your cheeks to warm, your hands to sweat, and you suddenly felt like you need to go and see him. You needed to check if Leto is okay.

You give a light shrug to Paul. “Your dad makes me happy. He’s a great guy, he’s kind and he treats me well.”

Paul rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You’re ridiculous, the both of you. You need to end this, like yesterday.”

“I don’t think you can dictate who I can and can’t be with and love, thank you,” you snapped at him.

The silence that followed was deafening.

That was new. You and Leto had never spoken the ‘L Word’ before. And you hadn’t planned on saying it for the first time shouting at his son in anger because he was disrespecting you and Leto’s relationship.

Because he wasn’t taking you seriously.

Because he didn’t think that you were deserving of Leto.

Because he didn’t think you both should be happy together.

You swallow nervously, averting your gaze from everyone in the room. “I need some air.”

You turn and head towards the front door, ignoring your mother’s calls, the first thing she’s said in ages. You grab the nearest jacket to you, which happens to be your father’s, opening the door before leaving the house, closing the door with a little more force than you meant to.

Slipping the jacket on, you set off walking, not sure where you were going. You should go and check on Leto, something must have happened with Paul since he didn’t come over. Or he was avoiding your parents, because he knew your dad well enough that he would have no qualms in putting Leto in his place (honestly, at this point, Leto would probably let him).

You turn to Leto’s house, walking up the path and quickly knocking on the front door. Your nerves were on fire, and you were already picking at your nails, still not being able to kick that nervous habit you’d had since you were six. You bit your lip as the front door opened, your heart skipping what felt like twenty beats in your chest as Leto’s brown eyes came into view.

You look at Leto, inhaling through your teeth at the beginnings of a black eye growing on his right eye. You reach forward, your body nearly colliding with his as you cup his cheeks in both hands as you look over him. “What happened to you?”

Leto gave a small grin, despite the hurt look in his eyes. “Paul didn’t take my news very well.”

You give a snort of laughter, your gaze finally meeting his. “You’re telling me.”

Leto reached up to wrap his hands around your wrists, bringing them down so he could hold your hands in his. His hands were always so warm, always enveloping yours and making you feel secure, and loved. You gave him another smile but it falters at the look on his face. “What’s the matter?”

Leto gives you a serious look. “We need to talk.”

Tagged - @shes-not-alone, @dd122004dd, @sofsofsposts, @prakhyanair

#dune #duke leto atreides x reader #duke leto x gn!reader #duke leto atreides x gn!reader #leto atreides x gn!reader #leto atreides #duke leto x reader #duke leto atreides #paul atreides #paul atreides x platonic!reader #paul atreides x reader #oscar isaac

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gracexthoughts · 22 days

Text

of violent delights chapter 14

messrs moony, wormtail, padfoot, and prongs

9 june 1996

Euphemia’s POV

“You’re mad,” I can’t help but scoff at the accusation that Ron’s rat, a rat that has been in his family for years, is actually a wizard who is supposed to be dead.

“You’re mental,” Ron cries, cradling Scabbers closer.

“Ludicrous!” Hermione says softly.

“Peter Petirgrew is dead! You killed him!” Harry says, pointing his wand at Black.

“I meant to,” Black growls, glaring at the rat furiously. “Little Peter fooled me once but not this time!” Black lunges forward towards Ron and Scabbers but Lupin holds him back.

“Wait! Sirius, we have to explain why!”

“I’ll explain afterwards! I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for!”

“They have a right to know, Sirius! You owe it to Harry and Mia to explain it. Ron’s kept him as a pet, some of it even I don’t understand yet. Wait,” Lupin says, gripping Sirius’ face and making him look at him. The two men share and glance and even a blind person could tell their history runs deep, deeper than friendship or roommate. Black stops fighting Lupin and nods, turning to pace closer to the bed while stile glaring at the rat in Ron’s hands.

“There were witnesses to Petigrew’s death. A whole street of Muggles,” I say, remembering the conversation we overheard at the Three Broomsticks.

“They didn’t see what they thought they did,” Black says.

“Everyone believed, even I, that Sirius killed Peter but when I saw it on the map I knew,” Lupin explains.

“Then the map was lying-“ Harry starts

“The map never lies. Peter’s alive and he’s right there!” Sirius growls, pointing a bony finger at Ron.

“Listen, it’s quite a long story…” Lupin starts but all our heads turn towards the door as there’s a loud creak. Lupin looks out to the landing but seeing nothing, turns back to us. “No one there.”

“This place is haunted,” Ron says, sounding more scared at the thought of ghosts than confronting Black.

“It’s not. This whole story starts when I became a werewolf. I was very young when I was bitten. Now, the Wolfsbane potion, which Professor Snape brews for me every month, is rather a new discovery and it lets me keep my mind when I transform. It used to be every month, I became a full fledged monster. I never thought I could come to Hogwarts but Dumbledore became Headmaster and was sympathetic. He said he would set up precautions for me. The Whomping Willow was planted to hide the tunnel that they dug to this house. All of it was built for my use during the full moon.” Lupin sits on an ottoman near the door, looking weary. “Once a month, teachers brought me here to transform and keep me from anyone else.’’

We all listen carefully although I can’t see how any of this matters concerning our parents' deaths.

“It was horrible, the transformation, in those days. The screams the villagers heard were me. I was separated from humans to bite so I hurt myself instead. Dumbledore encouraged the rumors of violent sprites to keep suspicion off but other than the full moons, I was happier than ever at Hogwarts. For the first time in my life, I had friends; Sirius Black, Peter Petegrew and James Potter. I tried telling them all kinds of excuses to explain my disappearances but they were smarter than that. James and Sirius worked it out easily enough, just like you, Hermione. I thought they’d abandon me but they didn’t, not at all. Instead they became Animagi.”

“What?” I exclaim, bewildered. The Animagus process is said to be incredibly difficult and I find it hard to believe they managed it on their own without anyone finding out.

“Our dad too?” Harry asks.

“Took us the better part of three years but yes,” Sirius mumbles, watching Remus for a moment before turning his gaze back to Sacabbers and Ron.

“Sirius and James were the cleverest in our year, possibly the whole school, besides Lily. Peter needed Sirius and James’ help of course but during our fifth year they managed it.”

“But how would that help you?” Hermione asks, confused.

“A werewolf is only dangerous to humans. So they snuck out of the castle with James’ Invisibility Cloak. Peter, the smallest as a rat, could reach the knot on the tree to immobilize it and they slipped down the tunnel to join me. I became less dangerous in their company. My mind seemed to stay with me more under their influence.”

“Hurry up, Remus,” Sirius snarls.

“I’m getting there,” Lupin says impatiently. “Eventually, we started leaving the shack and roaming the grounds at night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals that they were able to keep me in check. That’s how we discovered as much as we did about Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. The tunnels and such. That’s how we came to write the Marauder’s Map and signed it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot, Peter is Wormtail, and James was Prongs.”

I open my mouth to ask what kind of animal warrants a nickname like Prongs but Hermione beats me to it. “What’s really dangerous! What if you’d given the others the slip and ended up hurting someone?” she cries indignantly.

“You’re right of course,” Lupin says heavily. “And there were plenty of near misses that we laughed about afterwards. We were young, foolhardy, carried away with our cleverness… But I forgot all the guilt as soon as we began planning the next adventure. And I haven’t changed…” Lupin's face hardens with self disgust, “All year, I’ve battled with myself at admitting it all to Dumbledore. Knowing Sirius being an Animagus meant he could slip in and out of the castle better than anyone…. But I couldn’t face it. You were right to call me a coward, Mia. I am one,” he says looking at me. Guilt weighs heavily in my chest as I recall the nasty insults I slung his way on my birthday but before I can apologize Lupin forges on. “Dumbledore’s trust means everything to me, everything I have I owe to him admitting me to Hogwarts when no one else would. So I convinced myself that Sirius was using dark magic he learned from Voldemort instead. Really, Snape had been right about me all along. He’s been telling Dumbledore I’ve been helping Sirius all year. He has a sound reason…” Lupin and Black share a heavy glance and Black nods subtly, shame creeping into his eyes for a moment. “Sirius played a trick on him while we were at school. Severus was very interested as to why I disappear every month- we were in the same year you see- and we didn’t get along well. He especially hated James, jealous I think.” Harry and I share a look, well aware of Snape’s dislike of our father. “Anyway, Sirius thought it would be… amusing to tell Snape how to bypass the Willow. James found out what Sirius had done and went after him, pulling Snape back at the last moment. He caught a glimpse of me though. Dumbledore swore him to secrecy but he still knew…”

“That’s right,” a cold voice sneers from the doorway and Snape appears, pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointed right at Lupin. Hermione yelps and Lupin jumps up from his seated position to face Snape. “Found this at the base of the Whomping Willow. Very helpful, Potter. Thank you. Well Lupin, I’ve just been to your office to bring you your potion and luckily there was a handy map lying open on your desk. One look told me everything I needed to know,” Snape sneers, looking more hateful than ever.

“Severus,” Black says darkly, glaring at the man.

“Oh vengeance is sweet, how I’d hoped to be the one to catch you,” Snape says, turning to Black. Lupin takes a step towards him but Snape points his wand back at him and he backs up to stand next to Sirius. “I told Dumbledore you were helping your old friend into the castle and now I have proof. Never thought you’d have the nerve to use this place as your hideout,” Snape sneers at the two men.

“Brilliant, Snivilous,” Black speaks up, “Again you’ve put your keen and penetrating mind to the problem and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now if you’ll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished busin-“ Black starts in, his voice mocking the Potions professor but Snape steps forward, holding his wand to Black throat causing Lupin to jump forward. Harry, Ron, Hermione and I press further back against the wall, wands still in our hands, and we share a look, knowing Snape will get in the way of us getting some real answers.

“I could do it, you know, but I’d rather watch the dementors. They’re so longing to see you, Sirius. And they’ll be so pleased to bring you along too, Remus,” Snape threatens.

“Severus don’t be a fool, we can explain everything,” Lupin says placatingly.

“He can’t help it. Habit by now,” Black says mockingly at Snape.

“Sirius, be quiet.”

“Be quiet yourself, Remus!”

“Look at you too, still quarreling like an old married couple,” Snape mocks.

“Just run along and play with your chemistry set!” Black snaps.

“Severus really, is a school boy grudge worth putting an innocent man back in Azkaban?” Lupin attempts to reason. It’s hard to tell whose face shows more hatred, Snape’s or Black’s, as they glare at each other, each daring the other to test them.

“Give me a reason,” Snape sneers, pressing his wand further into Black’s throat, ignoring Lupin.

“Severus, please,” Lupin pleads. Harry and I share a look, knowing we have to hear our father’s best friends out now. We’ve gone most of our lives with no real answers and now that they are in reach, we have to have them. Harry and I raise our wands at Snape simultaneously.

“Expelliarmus!” Harry casts.

“Stupify!” I cast myself and the combined force of our spells sends Snape flying backwards into the dusty four poster bed. Before anyone can react we turn our wands back to Black and Lupin.

“You attacked a teacher,” Hermione says quietly, her voice squeaky.

“You shouldn’t have done that, you should’ve left him to us,” Black says, looking at Harry.

“Yeah, you were doing a great job, weren’t you?” I snark.

“Thank you,” Lupin says, shooting a pointed look at Sirius.

“We’re not saying we believe you yet,” Harry says, his wand still raised towards Black.

“Tell us about Peter Petegrew. How do you reckon Scabbers is him?” I ask, the rat in question writhing wildly in Ron’s grip.

Black reaches into his robes and pulls out a very crumpled up piece of paper which he hands to Remus. “Fudge came to do an inspection last year. Gave me this and I knew… I’d recognize him anywhere,” Black explains and I step forward to see the paper. It’s the Daily Prophet picture and article of the Weasley’s in Egypt and on Ron’s shoulder sits Scabbers.

“He’s missing a toe… Godric,” Lupin says examining the picture and the rat in Ron’s hands.

“What about it?” Ron asks.

And then it hits me. “All they could find of Pettigrew was his fi-“

“His finger! The filthy coward cut it off so everyone would think he was dead and then he transformed into a rat!” Black spits. “Just as I caught up to him he yelled to the whole street that I’d betrayed Lily and James and before I could do anything he blew up the whole street with his wand behind his back. Next thing I knee, a rat was scurrying off down to the sewer.”

“He probably just got into a fight with another rat he’s been in my family for ages,” Ron counters, still not believing it.

“Fifteen years, yes? Curiously long life for a common garden rat,” Black points out.

“We take good care of him!” Ron argues.

“Well he doesn’t look too good now. I suspect he’s been looking sickly since he heard Sirius had escaped,” Lupin observes.

“No, he’s afraid of that crazy cat!” Ron exclaims pointing at Crookshanks.

“Ron, they’re right. He’d been looking ill before ‘Mione got the cat,” Harry reminds Ron.

“I told you, Ron!” Hermione says, seemingly relieved that her cat is innocent.

“This cat isn’t mad. It’s quite intelligent actually,” Sirius says, patting Crookshanks. “He recognized Peter for what he was immediately, same with me when we met. He knew I wasn’t really a dog and once I got him to trust me, we learned how to communicate. He’s been helping me, you see. Tried to bring Peter to me, but couldn’t so he took the passwords to the Tower. But Peter figured it out and ran for it. This cat- Crookshanks you called him?- told me there was blood on the sheets. Peter must have figured faking his death worked once well enough,” Black growls the last part.

“Yes but why did he fake his death?” Harry speaks up, looking furious again. “Because he knew you were about to murder him like you did our parents! And now you’ve come to finish him off!”

“No, Harry-“ Lupin starts but Black cuts him off.

“Yes, I have.”

“Then we should’ve let Snape take you!” I say angrily.

“No, don’t you see? All these years, we thought Sirius betrayed your parents and Peter tracked him down but it was the other way around-” Lupin says placatingly.

“No, he was their Secret Keeper. He admitted it before you turned up. He killed them!” Harry yells, angrily, his hand shaking as he points his wand at Black.

“I as good as killed them…” Black says quietly, grief making his voice heavy. “I convinced Lily and James to switch to Peter at the last moment, make him the Secret Keeper instead. I’m to blame, I know it… That… The night they died, I’d had plans to check in on Peter but when I arrived at his hideout he was gone. It didn’t feel right, there were no signs of a struggle. I was scared…. I went to check on your parents and I saw the house… their bodies… I realized what Peter had done. What I did…” Black looks up at Harry and I, grief overtaking his features as a tear rolls down his cheek. “You two were crying in Harry’s crib… screaming for your mum who-- who was dead on the floor in front of you, the roof blown off, both of you bleeding. I tried to take you, keep you safe but Hagrid wouldn’t let me. I figured I’d take care of Peter and then Remus and I would come back and take you home…” Black looks between Harry and I, his eyes pleading for us to believe him. I blink as tears flood my eyes, filled with grief not only over our parents but the life my brother and I might have lived. Two lives really; one with our parents alive and happy and one being raised by the two men in front of us. Both options far happier than the lot we ended up with.

“Enough of this,” Lupin says, a steely tone in his voice, one I haven’t heard from the man before. “There’s one way to prove all of this. Ron, give me the rat.”

“What are you going to do to him?” Ron asks, holding a squirming Scabbers close to his chest.

“Force him to show his true self, if he really is a rat then it won’t hurt him,” Lupin responds. Ron considers Lupin for a moment but eventually, he holds Scabbers out to Lupin. Scabbers starts squeaking and writhing more widely. “Ready, Sirius?” Lupin asks. Black has already picked up Snape’s wand from the bed and approaches Lupin and the squirming rat, hsi eyes burning.

“Together?” Black asks to which Lupin nods. They count to three, Lupin holding Scabbers aloft, and a flash of bright blue lights erupts from both wands and Scabbers falls to the floor- Ron crying out for his pet. But there was another flash of light and from the small rat on the floor, slowly grows a man. A very short, mousy looking man, with thin colorless hair. He stood sort of hunched over, his skin grungy looking and unwell. Peter Petigrew looks around at the rest of us in the room, his eyes darting between Harry, me and the door.

“Hello, Peter,” Lupin says with a faux pleasantness. “Long time no see.”

“S-S-Sirius, R-Remus, my old friends!” Cries Peter, his voice squeaky, as his eyes dart to the door and he tries to dart between the two men towards the door but is stopped by Lupin and Black. Peter turns to Harry and I, stepping closer to us and I push Harry behind me and Peter approaches, keeping my wand between me and the rat like man.

“Harry? Look at you, you look so much like your father, like James. And you Euphemia, just like Lily. We were the best of friends, we-”

“How dare you speak to them? How dare you talk about James and Lily in front of them!” Black shouts, pulling Peter away from us.

“You were the spy! You sold James and Lily to Voldemort, didn’t you?” Lupin chimes in, the two men pinning Peter against the piano.

“I-I didn’t mean to!” Peter squeaks. “The Dark Lord! You have no idea the power he possesses. What would you have done, Sirius?”

“I would’ve died! I would’ve died rather than betray my friends!” Black bellows. “You haven’t been hiding from me all these years, Peter. You’ve been hiding from Voldemort’s old supporters. I heard things in Azkaban, Peter. They think the double crosser double crossed them. They think you gave Voldemort bad information knowing it would lead to his defeat!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! You tried to kill me!” Peter yelps and tries again for the door but I beat him there first, preventing him from leaving.

“Mia, your parents wouldn’t have wanted me killed. Your dad, he would’ve shown me mercy!” He pleads, trying to grab at me but my raised wand keeps him at bay until Remus and Sirius manage to pull him back towards the piano.

“You should’ve realized that if Voldemort wouldn’t kill you then we would. Together!” Black says angrily, Lupin by his side as they both raise their wands at the rat like man who cowers from them.

“NO!” Harry and I yell simultaneously, stopping them.

Lupin turns to us, “This man-”

“We know what he is,” Harry snaps. “We’ll take him to the castle.”

“Bless you, boy,” he sighs, falling to the floor to claw at Harry’s feet.

“Get off him!” I snap, sending sparks to Peter’s hands causing him to back away. “He said we’d take you to the castle. Then the dementors can have you,” I sneer at the man cowering on the ground at the idea of the dementors.

“Thank you,” Peter squeaks from the floor.

“We’re not doing this for you,” I spit.

“You two are the only ones who have the right to decide… but why?” Lupin asks, eyeing Harry and I carefully. Harry and I share a glance, only needing that much to know we are on the same page.

“I don’t think our parents would want their two best friends to become killers,” Harry states simply.

“You believe us then? Believe me?” Black says, looking between us, hope in his eyes for the first time all night.

Harry and I nod and it's as if the weight of the world falls from Black’s shoulders, joy and hope making him look younger. Harry looks to Ron and Hermione who have watched the whole thing in shock and awe. And as I stand there, staring at my brother and our godfathers, I can’t help as hope starts to creep into my chest as well.

a/n; ahh again, most of this is taken from the book/movie. In the book there are like 3 chapters of them in just in the Shack so I hope I got the important parts at least. And Mattheo will be back soon, I promise. I meant for the Shack scene to be just one chapter but it got stupid long so I split it up. Also, I’m kind of using All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 as my source for the Marauders’ time at Hogwarts if you’re interested.

taglist; @purplegardenwhispers @somethingswiftandstyles @weasleyreidstyles @mayamonroem @girlbooklover555 @stxrszurzolo

#harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter fanfiction #matteo riddle #hogwarts #hogwarts oc #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hp fanfic #wizarding world #hogwarts houses #prisoner of azkaban #of violent delights #mattheo riddle fanfic #mattheo riddle imagine #the maruaders #remus lupin #sirius black #peter pettigrew

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poetrybyhai · 22 days

Text

Right outside your door

Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler one shot

Set in season 7 after “fault”

__________________________________

Elliot wanted to go talk to her, he needed to. But everyone had told him if he didn't give her some space, things between them would only get worse.

So for the first time in the seven years he had known her, Elliot was hesitant to go knock her door.

How could things between them possibly get any worse though? She was completely ignoring his existence.

He was spiraling, everyone around him knew it.

And Dammit those nightmares, he had been having the same reoccurring nightmares since the day he found out she left, nightmares about losing her entirely, not just from his life but from the the entire world.

They were based around what almost happened a few weeks ago.

What he couldn't bare to even think about.

And the more time passed without seeing her, the more vividly they played out and the more real they began to feel.

It was terrifying.

And so embarrassing, he's stronger than this. Elliot Stabler doesn't wake up panicking from nightmares. My gosh, that didn't even happen when he had PTSD from the military.

It didn't happen after any traumatizing case, and there were so many of them he had lost count.

What was this woman doing to him?

~~~

Flashes of Olivia's lifeless body on the cold floor, played out in his mind. her eyes rolling in the back of her head, blood gushing everywhere, her face turning white, his hand feeling for a pulse that was gone.

Flashes of his partner bleeding out in front of him.

Each time he had that same nightmare, he always woke up right before he blurted out the three words, he only ever allowed his mind to say in that split second he thought he was losing her.

"Olivia, don't go I.."

~~~

It was now a quarter after midnight and Elliot yet again, was swimming in a pool of his own sweat, gasping for air.

Crying out her name.

"Dad"

No response.

"Dad"

"No response."

"DAD!" The voice echoed much louder than before, julting him awake.

"Ahh, what!? He gasped nearly falling off the bed.

"Dad, you're scaring me, what the hell was that about?" Kathleen questioned, her voice laced with confusion.

"Kathleen?" His eyes wandered around the room trying to make out his surroundings. "What are you doing here?"

She raised her brow at him, "Do you not remember?"

"You picked me up from Trevor's house because, his dad was making me uncomfortable, I had to beg you not to kill him.. we went to denny's afterwards?" she went on, trying to jog his memory.

This was weird, it had only been a few hours and he didn't remember how she got there?

Elliot stared off into space, trying to remember the events his daughter just described to him, but his body was still in fight or flight mode and his mind was foggy.

Finally, after an unusually long minute, things came back to him, and he could see the relief on Kathleen's face when he bellowed a loud "ohh." As he slowly came back to reality.

"You scared me dad, I thought you might have dementia or something."

He laughed lightly "No honey, not yet at least."

"Are you okay though?" she asked, that same expression returning to her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine honey." He tried to assure her, even though he knew she probably heard him screaming.

"Are you sur."

"Sweetheart, I said I'm fine."

His daughter wasn't convinced, she made her way to the side of his bed and pressed her hand to his forehead, "dad, you're covered in sweat that must've been quite the intense nightmare, do you have PTSD from what happened with Olivia?."

He visibly stiffened at the mention of her name, the nightmare still fresh, and his mind not exactly fully awake yet.

"What would make you think that?" He replied, hoping she wouldn't pry any further, his kids didn't need to be involved in this, he didn't want them to suspect anything strange when he didn't even know what was going on himself.

"Because you were screaming her name." she said, squinting her eyes at him in puzzlement.

"Was I? That's weird."

Kathleen crossed her arms and gave him a challenged look "Dad, come on, you might be a good liar at work but you'll always be a horrible one in your person life.. especially when you're talking to me."

"Honey, it's not something you need to worry about, I don't even know why I would say that."

"Your ears are red."

"What?"

"Your ears are red." She repeated, "your ears get red when you're lying."

"Kathleen, why don't you go to bed? don't you have school tomorrow."

"You should go talk to her." she blurted out, ignoring his last statement.

"Kathleen.." he warned.

But she didn't budge.

"Dad."

"Kathleen, seriously!"

"I'm serious dad! You should go talk to her, do you think I'm stupid? I know, I've known for years."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You heard me dad, I wasn't born yesterday, even if to you, it seems like I was, I'm a woman now, I've been one for a while, and we know things."

"Whatever you think you know, you can't know because, I don't even know." He babled in response, although what he said was true, he didn't know.

Or maybe he did know, but denial is a strong thing.

"I'm not saying you have to pour your heart out to her, but at least go apologize."

"I did! I left her a voicemail, I called her 30 times!" Now he was getting angry, he had to remind himself this was his daughter, and now was not the time to lose his temper.

"She'd rather hear you say it to her face, otherwise she's going to think you're just telling her what she wants to hear so she'll come to you."

Elliot looked at her with the up most puzzled expression before he replied, How would you know that? she's not a family member, you don't even know her."

"You're wrong dad, she's been like family to us for a long time."

And those words right there caused tears to well up in his eyes, his kids considered her family.

It was a weird dynamic.

But not one he was willing to just let go of.

She couldn't just never talk to him again.

Cus' as much as she thought of him as a stubborn son or a bitch, she was one too.

Kathleen was right he had to go to her.

"When did you get so mature?" he smiled at his daughter sadly.

She smiled back before evolving him as a hug.

"I wasn't born yesterday."

"Lovely." She mumbled to herself sarcastically before emerging out of bed and making her way to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face.

Suddenly she didn't feel the slightest bit tired anymore.

So instead of going back to bed when she saw the clock read 1:30AM she decided to go in the living room and watch tv.

Ugh, why did he have such a hold on her? It's like she couldn't escape him no matter what she did, not in her wake, not in her sleep. He was always on her mind, no matter how much she fought to get him out of it, he was still there.

And she wondered how long she could go on like this for. Ignoring him, declining his calls, revolving her life around trying to forget about him until the anger subsided enough that she could talk to him again, even though things would never be the same after this, and she couldn't expect them to be.

She didn't think it would be this hard, she knew it would be different, she knew it would hurt but not this much, nothing was the same anymore, nothing had been the same since Gitano.

It's not like she thought leaving was going to fix anything, but she didn't feel like she had any other choice.

There was no way to fix this.

Before Gitano, Olivia truly believed that nothing could break them apart, because it wasn't an easy job, they had their fair share of screaming contests when they disagreed on something, she slammed doors in his face more times than she'd like to admit, there were many ups and downs in their partnership, many times she swore she hated him and was sure he hated her back.

But when they went crashing down, they always came back to each other, every single time.

Until now.

She didn't know how to accept that Gitano, that case, very well might've ruined them for good, and there would be no coming back around this time.

She couldn't lose him, but she couldn't face him either.

Olivia was starting to realize, that though she was able to run, she wasn't able to hide.

But she couldn't face what she was feeling and she wasn't even sure she knew how to.

Trying to block out her thoughts Olivia began flipping through the channels, settling on a repeat of the bachelor, one of her favorite comfort shows. Though, nothing seemed to bring her much comfort these days.

And then came a knock on her door.

At first she thought it was the tv.

But then it happened again.

A knock she could recognize anywhere.

"Not now, my gosh, not now." she mumbled to herself.

By the 10th knock Elliot was growing impatient, he wasn't going to let her continue to ignore him, not when he drove over here, in the middle of the night, not when this had been the longest week of his life.

"Olivia! Olivia! I know you're in there!" He bellowed.

She didn't answer.

"Olivia, I can feel you thinking, you can't avoid me forever."

"Dammit Elliot, it's 2am." she uttered.

"Just let me in."

"No."

"Let me in!" He repeated.

" I said no!"

"Olivia for the love of god, what are we are five years old now? Just open the damn door."

And she was silent again.

"Olivia! Let me in."

Really? Now he chose to do this.

It was never going to be a good time.

Olivia made her way to the door but she still refused to open it, now standing beside the door, her forehead pressed against the wall, her hand dangerously close to the knob.

No, she wasn't doing this right now.

"Go home Elliot."

"Olivia, I swear to god if you don't open this door I'm going to bust in down."

He couldn't be serious.

"Try me and i'll sue you for breaking and entering."

"I have a key." He reminded her.

"You still have a key!"

"Just let me in."

"It’s not a good time."

"It's never going to be a good time Liv, but I need to freaking talk to you!"

He was just about to reach for the spare key when he heard her unlock the hinge.

"You got five minutes." She told him as she finally opened the door, blocking the entrance with her body.

God, she was beautiful and he couldn't help but stare, despite the fact that he was low key beginning to hate her for the games she was playing.

"Well hello to you too, aren't you going to let me in."

Olivia only crossed her arms in response, "Whatever it is, you can say from where you are."

He looked at her with a mixture of disbelief and anger before mocking her actions and crossing his arms as well. You've got to be kidding me Liv."

"I'm serious El, spit it out."

"Why are you acting like this?!"

"What are you talking about."

"I'm not playing along with your petty junior high games Olivia, I came here to talk to you now let me in." He demanded, catching her off guard when he pushed past her, making his way to her couch.

"What do you think you're doing?."

"I said we needed to talk." He stated, as if it was a demand.

"And I said it wasn't a good time."

"And I said it's never going to be a good time."

My god, he had a way of making her lose every ounce of patience she had in her.

"Then why are you here?!

"I said we needed to talk."

And for a good minute, they just stared at each other, neither willing to back down, neither willing to give in.

She saw everything in his eyes as they continued their stare off, the hurt, the betrayal, the regret, the sadness, the pain.

How dare he come here and try to make her feel bad? how dare he come here and look at her like that, like she ruined him.

~~~

Olivia was the first to break the silence, "Dammit Elliot what is the matter with you?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Oh really? Last time I checked I didn't show up at your place at 2am, banging on the door and yelling like I'm on fire." She shot back.

"No, you just quit and completely cut me out of your life without even so much as a text message." he quipped.

"I didn't cut you out of my life Elliot."

"Then why haven't I heard from you in an entire fucking week!" He yelled, emerging from the couch and beginning to pace the living room, Elliot had every intention of coming over to apologize, not to start a fight, but her stubbornness was too much and his anger was now overpowering the guilt he had been feeling.

Olivia stayed in place, not wanting to fight with him again, trying to calm herself before she lost it, he knew her every button and just now to push them. "I needed space! Did you really think I was going to ignore you forever? Really says a lot about how well you know me."

He laughed bitterly in response "You have no idea what you have put me through."

That was it.

Suddenly, it didn't matter if they fought she didn't care, she was enraged and she wasn't going to let him talk to her like that, not again.

Not this time.

Not when he barged into her house at 2am, like a fucking F5 tornado.

"What I've put you through!?" She screamed, not even realizing she was now yelling in his face.

He didn't back down and they were now so close they could feel each other's hot breath on their necks. "Yeah, you heard me."

She felt dizzy.

"I knew that voicemail was a lie! you're not sorry, you're not even capable of feeling sorry, you fucking ego maniac!"

She was right but it didn't stop the rage in him from intensifying.

"I was sorry Olivia! don't you dare tell me I lied to you! I was fucking sorry but that was before I found out you quit, before I found out that you had no intention of ever talking to me again! Now, now you don't deserve for me to be sorry, cus' you had to go and make sure you hurt me that much more!"

"So that's what you think this is?!" Tears were now welling in her eyes, his words cutting her deeper than that knife ever did. That I'm just trying to hurt you more than you've hurt me? as if this is some kind of sick content?"

"It sure as hell seems like it!"

Olivia said nothing in response, she only went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine, desperately needing an excuse to get away from him.

She felt like all the air had left the room.

And so did he.

But he wasn't going to run.

She wanted to run but this was her house.

She has nowhere to go.

"So that's what you wanted? To just cut me off and never talk to me again!" Now Elliot was the one with tears welling up in his eyes.

"I already told you, I needed space, I can't breathe when I'm around you anymore you fucking suffocate me!" she spat.

"And you think that I can breathe around you? You think that you don't suffocate me?" He shot back, his own tears threatening to fall.

"You have had no problem treating me like your personal fucking punching bag for the past month, you don't get to make this about you!"

"You're such a gosh damn child olivia!"

"Really? How many times have I saved your ass because you couldn't control yourself?"

"That's not the point!"

"You are too much Elliot! How can you expect me to look past you blaming me for your own choice? How can you expect me to be able to be around you anymore? All I see when I look at you, is resentment, resentment at me, for something you chose to do! And you know what? You're the damn child, because, I wouldve never, ever crossed that line!"

"Olivia don't you fucking get it? that's not why I'm angry!"

"Oh please." She scoffed.

"It's not! I'm not angry that I chose you, that was never why I was angry, my gosh that's not why I'm fucking standing here screaming at you in the middle of the night! That's not why I've been losing my mind ever since Gitano!"

"What the fuck is the reason then Elliot, tell me! tell me the fucking reason?!" She yelled, getting in his face again.

"Olivia you're out of your fucking mind if you really think I would've done anything differently if I could go back, do you really think I wouldn't do the same damn thing! do you really think I wouldn't still choose you if we found ourselves in the same situation tomorrow?"

She looked at him with a mixture of shock and something else he couldn't quite make out. "What the hell are you saying!"

"I'm not angry that I chose you! I'm angry that I don't regret choosing you! I'm angry that I'd choose you again without a single fucking ounce of hesitation!"

Olivia was taken aback by his words, by his confession. her heart beating so fast she swore he probably heard it echoing through the room.

"You don't think I feel the same fucking way Elliot?" She spat back, daring to to get even closer to him than she already was, he wasn't going to win this fight, not this time. "You're the idiot! For thinking that I could shoot you, that I could end your life, that I could live with myself if you died because of me! How could you be so stupid?!"

"That’s not the point Olivia, that’s not what this is about!" He yelled back.

"Then what is it about Elliot? What is it that you want from me?!”

"I want you to be honest!"

"Are you serious right now? I have been honest!"

"Bull shit Olivia! You weren't honest you ran away! But you know what? Maybe you're right, maybe this whole thing is my fault, cus' I should've known you would, it's what you do best anyway!"

He was in front of her, moving closer as if they weren't already unbearable closer because she was now grabbing the kitchen countertop for support as he cornered her against it.

They'd never fought like this before.

She said she couldn't take the way he had been looking at her, but the way he was looking at her now, was so much worse.

“fuck you Elliot! Get out!"

His eyes were laced with so much anger, so much pain and regret, but suddenly there was something different in his gaze, something that wasn't there before.

Desire.

"No."

did he really tell her no?

"Elliot, get out! she repeated lunging forward and attempting to push him away.

"What are you going to do if I don't?" He challenged, pushing her back against the counter top.

And his next move was something she never could've expected, not even in her wildest dreams.

Suddenly, the world went silent as he crashed his lips into hers.

#bensler #elliot stabler #law and order svu #olivia benson #svu #svu fanfiction #fanfiction #angst #tension #my ships #i will go down with this ship

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chaosduckies · 22 days

Text

Restoration (Chapter 6)

I had no idea what to do with this chapter, but it’s going to mostly lead up to something that’s going to happen later on! So mostly a filler chapter just because why not?

Word Count: 5.1k

CW: Slight mentions of suicide, slight trigger warnings, serious overthinking

6-Nathan

A week has passed since that night. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how I just hugged him. How embarrassed I’ve felt since then. How awkward I feel when I’m near Ryker. Even though he wasn’t at all bothered by it. It hasn’t left my mind. I just feel so embarrassed by it. I mean, we barely knew each other and I just went up and gave him a makeshift hug? Not something people do on an ordinary basis. But still, I haven’t forgotten the way he gently pressed one of his fingers against my back to return the gesture. Somehow I was terrified, but also… grateful? Happy? Whatever the word for it was, it just felt nice.

I spent that entire week trying to talk to him again, but I guess the adrenaline rush was the only reason I could get those few words out to him. Of course, because I can never get anything to work out in my favor. Typical Nathan.

Well, during that week, my mom had taken off from work to be with me, since she’s apparently realized that I’ve “been in and out of it,” This entire week. Which I have, I just didn’t think she’d really notice. But of course she does, because she’s a parent and a nurse. How could she not notice?

She asked me everyday for the past five days after school how everything was going. I would always reply with a smile and say, “It’s good.” Even though in some cases I was lying. Sometimes at school I would stare off into space, not paying attention to anything anyone ever said. Or sometimes when Ryker was talking I would just cave in on myself and ask: Why am I even here? What was wrong with me? Heck, even Ryker has noticed and tried confronting me about it. He told me I didn’t have to answer, and I didn’t. Afraid that I would ruin whatever friendship we’ve made. Or if he even considers us friends. Though, I doubt that was a possibility.

I had no idea what was wrong with me. Ever since that… hug, I’ve been nothing but a mess. Was it the unbelievable act I thought I could never do again? The way I felt about it afterward? Was it the fact that I wanted to talk so bad, but I couldn’t? Mom can’t know about any of this. She’s already heartbroken enough, and I’d hate myself even more if I dropped this bombshell on her. This is why I needed my dad. Even when I was younger I was always timid and shy and I overthought plenty of things. He’d help me by saying that I should put all of those bad thoughts into a jar and throw it far, far away. But that was when I was a kid. What about now?

Mom was really worried about me. I could tell. But I was fine. I think. Probably not. Either way, she called the school counselor in hopes that whatever was going on with me would go away. I knew she hated seeing me so sad. I remember when we were still… trapped she used to try to keep my happy by playing little games, or telling me made up stories. As I grew older she tried her best to keep me from crying, trying her hardest to keep me happy. Even after dad died.

So, this was the week I had started to take counseling after school every Monday and Thursday for forty minutes a day. On top of that, she also contacted Mrs. Kay for whatever reason, and she’s told me that she wants to work with me for at least twenty minutes everyday after class. Great, right? So much for a normal life. I thought I could give it another chance and all of a sudden people are just trying to overwhelm me when I wanted to solve this mystery on my own.

It was a grueling morning. It was raining, hard. Thunder had sounded above the entire city, making me jump. Stupid right? A seventeen year old scared of thunder? I have a good reason. I think. Didn’t matter.

I groaned, forcing myself out of bed. This was going to be a long day. I already knew it. It was raining, mom was passed out on the couch, and my body felt like it was going to give up on me at any moment. And luckily that stupid little project thing was over so I could finally take my regular classes. I just hoped Mrs. Kay wouldn’t assign anything crazy again. She probably would though.

I didn’t bother eating breakfast. Just grabbing my backpack on the way out and making my way to the bus before I was late. Nothing to it. The same routine as the past month.

The school looked as gloomy as ever. Of course it did. It was Monday. The halls were filled with people talking by their class, or running down the hall like there was no tomorrow. Isn’t it too early in the morning to be doing all of that? I was barely waking up. Either way, I went by unnoticed by the crowd of people and made it to class.

I admit it felt weird not having a looming presence above me at all times. Was that a good thing? I have no idea, but it makes me kind of miss the one-sided conversations Ryker likes to start up. I miss it a lot. Even though I never talked, I loved listening. I was so weird. Before all of this mess, I wanted nothing to do with him, and here I am wishing for his company. Why couldn’t I just be normal?

The classes were the same as always. Nothing new to it. Then it was lunch. The time period in school where anything can happen. Especially with that encounter a couple weeks back… I shuddered at the thought, reaching the cafeteria. So many people. Too many people. I forgot how crowded it was being on this side.

Searching for the table I sat at before I had met anyone, I found that it was taken by a group of girls. Nope. Not getting that back. Especially since I know that no one would willingly sit in the far corner. I sighed, searching for a table that was open, and not finding any. Could I just sit with Ryker again? I asked myself. It would be nice, but I don’t think he wants to see me. At least not until last period. I wouldn’t want to be bothered by me either if I were him.

“Boo.” I jumped, catching my breath while Lucky was laughing so hard he starting coughing. I was not expecting that at all. I thought he would just forget about me. Especially since the “project” was over. I just thought I was another name to be remembered once they all graduate.

“Sorry, sorry, but you’re so easy to scare,” He chuckles, “Wanna come sit with us?”

It takes my mind a while to process what just happened, “Wh-who’s ‘us?’”

“Just Ryker and me. Dylan had a basketball game so I’m all alone.” Lucky shrugged casually. Did I want to sit with them? Yes. Of course I do. I was just afraid I might zone out like I have been for the past week. What if I get scared again? What would happen then? They would all drop me and I’d be all alone again…

I was about to shake my head before Lucky grabbed my wrist and guided us through the cafeteria to where Ryker always sits. Away from everyone else… I gulped, seeing him stare bored at whatever was playing on his phone. This was a bad idea. Who told me I could even do this? No one. Lucky just dragged me here. And there was a tiny feeling of gratefulness that he did.

Lucky guided me into the elevator with him. It was silent on the way up, and I couldn’t help but notice the way Lucky looked at me like he was worried. Was it because I kept fidgeting with my hands? Was it because I couldn't look straight ahead? Or was it because he’s noticed something was wrong with me just like everyone else has? Probably the last one.

“Why do… you look nervous?” Lucky had asked before the elevator made that same ding sound it always does. I didn’t take a step forward, and neither did Lucky. Nervous? I have no idea.

“I-um… I don’t know.” I let out a sad chuckle, trying my best to give a genuine smile. Lucky gave a skeptical look, “If I promise not to tell will you tell me?”

Do I trust that? I do. I really, really do. I had no reason not to trust Lucky. Even if I didn’t know what I was so nervous about. I don’t get why everyone was so concerned either! I was a nobody. Just another person trying his hardest to live an impossible normal life. Maybe I should have stayed at the hospital…

“I really don’t know though.” I muttered, looking down at the ground. Lucky gave another skeptical look before guiding me out of the elevator. I still almost ended up tripping over my own two feet per usual. What was going on with me lately?

“Hey Ry.” Lucky greeted, smiling and heading over to watch whatever Ryker was watching on his phone like it was nothing. What was I supposed to do now? I can’t… What? My thoughts were a jumbled up mess. I don’t even know what I was thinking at this point. Does Ryker even want me here? No, no he doesn’t. He’s tired of me. I already know it. Everyone gets tired of me eventually. I’m either “Impossible to deal with,” or, “Not worth the time.” A messed up system, right?

“Hey,” He sighed, his eyes wandering towards me and flashing a soft smile, “Hi, Nathan.”

I didn’t know what to do. Was he acting? It didn’t really seem like it. He also didn’t seem like the kind of person to act in a situation like this. Still, there was no telling. Maybe he just didn’t want to break the news to me like this? Yeah. Most likely.

I raised a shaky hand, giving a wave and a nervous smile in hopes that Ryker wouldn’t catch on. He didn’t, but that didn’t stop him from giving a confused expression as if he was trying to put together a puzzle. Hah. As if you could solve my puzzle. I’ve lost so many pieces it’s practically impossible. I’ve tried to solve it myself many times and failed miserably.

Ryker dragged his attention back to the movie on his phone, looking bored. What was I supposed to do now? We used to watch that hilarious cop show, but I think he only put it on to keep me from being bored and bothering him at this point. Was it all an act? Did he just play along with whatever happened? He didn’t hug me back because he wanted to? He forced himself to do all of those things just so he wouldn’t be bothered? Was I tricked again?

I’m overthinking.

One step at a time. I said I wanted to give life one more chance, so that’s what I’m going to do. Even if this was all some kind of sick act. Even if I get hurt. I sucked in a deep breath, and sat next to Lucky, watching the events on the theater-sized screen in front of me. Usually I sat further back, but I was afraid of being alone at the moment.

Even though I was scared out of my mind, there was also some other kind of feeling lingering in the back of my mind. I felt comfortable. Surprisingly after everything that’s been going on inside my head. I was too used to being around Ryker. That doesn’t mean I was comfortable being around any giant though. I had nearly an entire month of forced contact with him. Of course I’d be more lenient towards him. Especially after he’s made no move in those past four months to imprison me and keep me as some kind of pet or entertainment.

“Bell’s gonna ring.” Ryker grabbed his phone from in front of us, stuffing it back into his pocket and holding his hand palm-up. Why though? We can just take the elevat-

Lucky quickly pulled his backpack on and climbed on, waiting for me to follow. I guess I didn’t have any other choice. Lucky helped me on, and we both managed to fall over on top of each other somehow. Lucky laughed while I hurried to get up, muttering quiet apologies to him.

“It’s nothing. It happens with Angela all the time.” Lucky smiled. Ryker cupped his hand a bit and started walking towards the doors to get out of the cafeteria. Just in time too, because the bell rang and everyone was now rushing to get to class all of a sudden. I stopped looking back, afraid that the panic attack I’ve been fighting back for the past month would suddenly resurface. Nope. Everything will be okay. I think. Hopefully.

Ryker crouched down at the part of the hallway that leads back to the human side of the school, letting us down. He barely even talked to me. In fact, the only time he was even talking to either Lucky and I was when we arrived at the table. Was he okay? I couldn’t tell anymore. I just hope that I’m not the cause.

———Ryker———

Today was not a good day. For more than one reason. One reason being that I had work afterschool today. Another being that I woke up late today due to staying up until about two in the morning because I needed to finish cleaning. And my third reason was the fact that I’m ninety nine percent sure I messed everything up with Nathan.

In the last week of that “project” I noted that Nathan didn’t really seem to be… himself? Of course I barely knew him and he could have something going on at home, but something just felt off. Maybe it was just that one tiny moment that Friday? Did I do something wrong? Was I not supposed to hug him back? Did I do or say something wrong to upset him? It didn’t really make sense in my head. I thought everything was going good. So why all of a sudden did he seem timid and nervous around me?

It was that entire week. I asked him if he was okay and if he wanted to talk about it. Nathan just shook his head and gave the best makeshift smile he could manage. I knew something was wrong and that it had something to do with me. And today proved it. It seemed like we were back at step one.

Was Nathan okay? I remember asking one time and receiving a shake of his head, but I never once thought if he did it just to answer or if he really meant it. I guess I have my answer now. I don’t know why I was so worried honestly. Maybe because in my brain I pretty much consider Nathan and I friends? I have zero idea if he thinks the same, but I hoped so.

I forced myself through these next grueling classes, waiting for last period. I hadn’t talked to Nathan at lunch because it really didn’t seem like he was up for it at the time. I don’t want to overstep his boundaries either. What if he just wants to be left alone? I have no idea what was going on in his mind as I’ve said before, so that could be a possibility?

Mrs. Kay had nothing being projected on the board today, which meant it was either a free day or it was some kind of lecture on relationships between human and giants. Something that this world apparently is so focused on. I guess that’s a good thing though.

After a couple minutes of waiting, I heard the faint ding noise that comes from the elevator and watched as Nathan stumbled out, figuring out a way to trip once again. I’ve wondered for a while why he had always found a way to trip over thin air, but I could never figure it out. Maybe he was just clumsy? It would make sense, but that can’t be the only reason, right? Still, every time he fell my hand twitched to try and help, but I already knew that would tumble everything downhill. Especially now.

Mrs. Kay had announced that today was a free day since she still had to put in some grades. Would it be overstepping if I asked if Nathan was okay again? Maybe to him, but I was already feeling guilty for being the cause of why he seems so upset.

“Are you finally glad that you don’t have to be carried around by me anymore?” I nervously laughed, hoping for him to answer. Just build up. That was the way to do this.

Nathan turned around, thinking about the question before rotating his hand sideways. Kind of? Honestly, that was expected because even Lucky gets tired of being carried around everywhere. Speaking of… Lucky told me something about Nathan making brownies? I’m pretty sure that was on Friday, I just don’t know when he did. But Lucky and Angela absolutely loved them. And Angela had showed me a new stuffed animal that Nathan had bought for her too. In return, she drew a picture of Nathan with some of her crayons and my heart practically melted.

“Oh, um, Angela has a gift for you. Y’know… for the stuffed animal you bought her?” I smiled. I think it was sweet. I don’t know why he thought he needed gifts though, everyone already thought he was nice already. I guess he just wanted to make sure that no one thought bad of him?

Nathan’s eyes widened and pointed to himself with an unsure look. Was he confused why? I don’t even know why either. I shrugged my shoulders. Nathan brought his knees up to his chest and stared at the ground, deep in thought. Did I do something wrong again? I guess now would be the time to bring up the topic.

“I know you’re probably not going to answer me, and that’s okay! But, do you wanna talk about something? You just don’t… look okay.” I bit the side of my cheek in hopes that he’ll give me some kind of a response. He probably thinks I’m annoying at this point. Even I think I am at this point. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have even asked.

Nathan shook his head, putting on a makeshift smile. He was lying. But, if he doesn’t want to talk to me then I won’t force him to. There was nothing I could do. Although, I’m sure a teacher or even his parents would have noticed this. If they haven’t already, then it would be soon. Most likely they’ll just get a therapist or he’ll eventually tell someone about whatever was going through his mind.

The rest of the time was spent asking him how his weekend was. How it felt to be back on his schedule. You know, questions to keep his mind off of things. I think it was working. At least for a little before the last bell of the day rang. I gave a two fingered wave to Nathan, receiving a shaky one back and left the room. I still felt bad.

———Nathan———

Remember when I said today was going to be a bad day? I wasn’t kidding. The one-sided conversation with Ryker helped get rid of the uneasiness of going to the counselors office. But as soon as the final bell rang it all came flooding back. Last period wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Not bad at all. Not until that loud bell rang, and the entire classroom rushed to get out.

On my way down the hallway to the counselor’s office, I couldn’t stop thinking about what could possibly go wrong. They might give up on me too. They might tell me to just go home. Or they might send me back to the mental hospital. I mean, it’s not that bad of a place when you don’t have any friends waiting for you, but there were some things that I hated. No contact with the outside world, they make you take these dumb classes to help “calm the mind.” Like yoga or where you would pass a foam ball around and tell everyone your name and what you were there for. I never, ever took part in that exercise.

Sucking in a deep breath, I knocked quietly on the door that read, “Counsellor Office. Mr. Smith” I didn’t exactly know how these kinds of things worked. All I knew is that no one liked them.

“You must be Nathan! Please take a seat. Anywhere is fine.” Mr Smith was a tall man. He look about in his late thirties early forties, but he looked so friendly and calm. His voice was trusting and soft as well. I can’t wait till he starts talking behind my back about how impossible I was.

His office was like any other office I’ve been in. Other than the two different colored bean bags that sat in the corner by a small book case that had a tiny tv above it with movies on the side. This room was nothing like any therapist room I’ve been in. Usually they’re cold and only have a singular couch with magazines about eating healthy and being mentally healthy. Not that those ever helped me.

I decided to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk, fidgeting with my hands the entire time. Mr. Smith walked over to his own chair, taking out a notebook and gave another soft smile.

“Nervous? Most students are when they walk in here,” He chuckled, grabbing a pen, “Do you mind telling me your name and how old you are?” I thought he knew that already.

I opened my mouth to speak, “N-Nathan… I’m seventeen.” Curse the stuttering. Today was already hard enough, why does everything go downhill after I feel good about something?

“Nice to meet you, Nathan. I’m Garrett Smith, thirty-seven years old, and I have a PhD in psychology.” PhD? Then why is he working as a school counsellor? He could be an actual therapist and won’t have to deal with so many kids. This guy was confusing, but I feel somewhat comfortable around him. Even though we met barely three minutes ago.

“Now, your mom was worried about you. She says that you seem to be having more nightmares lately. That you seem more tired and sad lately. Would you wan to start there or talk about something else bothering you?” He asked, waiting patiently for my answer. My heart was racing. What was I supposed to answer? I didn’t even know at this point. I haven’t taken therapy for a couple months now, and usually they started with talking about the excruciating events that had happened while we were kidnapped. Instead, Mr. Smith just wants to start with this? Why was that?

“S-sure.” I nearly squeaked. I never did good at any sort of therapy. I was always too nervous. And then they’d pressure me to answer when I couldn’t. I was afraid that he might do the same.

“Alrighty then,” He tapped his pen on the notebook, “Would you mind telling me when you started feeling this way?”

“Last weekend? I th-think.” I started silently tapping my foot on the carpeted ground. Just another thing I do when I was nervous. Mr. Smith didn’t seem to mind or notice.

“Hm. Did anything… happen around that time?” He wrote something down and I had no idea what it was. Was it bad? Was it good? Did I somehow say too much to get me placed back into the hospital? Please say no. I don’t want to go back there with a bunch of screaming kids throwing the plastic chairs while I was just trying to make some cookies.

“U-um, just this project thing for Mrs. Kay.”

“The project where you spent two weeks with a giant in school?” He asked, his face full of curiosity. I nodded my head, playing with my hands again. I’m pretty sure he wrote that down.

“May I ask who your partner was then?” Oh. Not a question I was too prepared for. I slightly turned to the door, the window peaking inside covered by a piece of cloth. Did it really matter who my partner was? I don’t think it did honestly.

“Ryker…” His eyebrows shot up in shock as he chuckled lightly, “Ryker Stone?” I nodded. I’m pretty sure that was his last name. How did he know who he was though? There was no way he could know all eight hundred people in this school. That seem a bit over-the-top.

“From my understanding, you went to his house last Friday and something happened over there?” I nodded. I shouldn’t have hugged him. I shouldn’t have hugged him. I shouldn’t have-

“Was it bad thing?” His eyebrows were scrunched up like he already knew what my answer was going to be. Nothing bad happened. It’s just that my thoughts like taking over me sometimes. A lot of times. I make a good situation and turn it into a bad one. I shook my head at his question.

Mr. Smith laughed, “That’s Ryker for you. Not a dull moment with him.” He said it like he knew him personally… maybe he did? I mean he is the counsellor. I just didn’t think he worked with giants as well. So if he knew Ryker… does that mean Ryker knew him? Of course that’s what that meant.

“Back on topic though, I did some looking around on you. I found some… interesting things, but also a record from past therapists. All different notes on you, except for one. That you’re known to overthink situations. Do you think that’s why you’ve been so upset lately? You have a thought on your head from the event that happened?” He wasn’t going to ask what happened? I mean, thank goodness because I don’t think I could answer, but he really wasn’t going to ask me? This guy has a weird way of getting people to open up, but it’s working. It’s working amazingly.

I nodded my head. Ryker doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I couldn’t stop thinking about this. I knew it was true. I messed everything up that Friday night ruined things between us. The worst part is that I was actually warming up to him. He really did feel like friend even though I was deadly afraid.

“Do you mind telling me what’s been on your mind? It’s alright if you can’t.” He asked softly, already knowing that this might be hard for me. It is. It really, really is. I didn’t want to lose the only friend I’ll ever make in my entire life. Even before I was kidnapped, all of the other kids didn’t bother talking to the shy, timid kid who sat alone by himself at lunch and never had a friend to play with on the playground during school.

Now I was in high school where people still look at me the same way. I didn’t want to lose someone who was so nice to me. Who actually takes the time to talk and hang out with me. Is that what’s wrong with me? I didn’t want to see someone I care about leave me?

That stupid cage had ruined me.

“I-I don’t think Ryker w-w-wants to be around me,” Tears stung my eyes, and I tried my best to blink them away while sucking in a deep breath, “I-I like to think we’re f-friends… but I d-did something stupid and now that this project is over I think he’s just done with me.” A couple tears fell down my face. I wiped them with the back of my sleeve, looking down at the ground. I really didn’t want to lose the one potential friend I’ve made in my entire life.

The room was quiet except when I heard Mr. Smith pass the box of tissues my way, showing a sympathetic face, “You don’t want to lose a friend?” I shook my head, calming myself down before I make this even more embarrassing for myself. I haven’t cried for a while. It felt good for some reason. Too bad I wasn’t going to let it go any further than a couple tears.

“And what if Ryker still wants to be friends? What would you think then?”

That he’ll eventually grow tired of me like everyone else. That it’s only short lived. He’ll eventually forget about me.

“I’d be grateful… but I doubt he’d remember me after graduation.” I sadly answered. Mr. Smith wrote something down, ripping out the page he was writing on and handing me the paper. I grabbed it with shaky hands, looking over the paper. My name, age, things I’ve done while sitting in his office, and some squiggly lines. He didn’t write down questions? No notes on what he should do next?

“I don’t like writing down the questions I ask. I think people would prefer to keep them said and not on paper,” He chuckled, “And as for your tiny piece of advice, you and Ryker aren’t so different, and I doubt he thinks ill of you.” That was it? No other questions? He wasn’t going to pry me open? He wasn’t going to force me to spill my guts to people who didn’t want waste their time anyways? No words could describe how confused and happy I was at the same time.

“Th-that’s it?” I muttered, trying to figure out if he was playing a trick on me or not, but he nodded his head and opened the door for me. I grabbed my backpack, stuffing the sheet of notebook paper in it and walked out of the door.

“Thank you.” I mumbled.

Mr. Smith smiled, “Come anytime you want to talk. Just remember after school on Thursday, okay?” I nodded, thinking hard about how Mr. Smith believes, in all honesty, that Ryker won’t just leave me. He could be right. I just have to trust in his word.

—————————————————————-

Yup. Nathan’s afraid that Ryker will leave him now that their little project is over. I wonder what happens next?

I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I like and I don’t at the same time. We’ll see. Thank you for reading! Love you guys ❤️

#G/t #g/t writing #g/t community #sfw g/t #giant/tiny #G/t angst #restoration #Oc: Nathan #oc: ryker #Nathan just wants a friend🥺#Yeah i didn’t know what to do #Next chapter will def have something tho #I kind of liked how this one came out???#nvm I don’t #Thanks for the support!

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darkhighness · 6 months

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Good Omentober Day 24 - The Them

Prompt by @disaster-dog

Adam learns the true identity of the quaint bookseller in Soho, inching closer to the answers he seeks.

(Continuation from day 23)

Aziraphale was stunned by the question and took a moment to answer, “My father was, yes. Can I ask what all this is about?”

“We think our friend Adam sees your Dad in his dreams!” One of the kids laughed.

Aziraphale felt some sense of relief wash over him, “Adam, was it? May I talk to him privately?”

There was some shuffling on the other end of the line before it eventually went quiet. After a minute or so, he answered, “This is Adam.”

---

“Oh Adam, it’s lovely to hear your voice again. You probably don’t remember me, but I remember you. My name is Aziraphale. We met not long after your 11th birthday.” The kind old man explained.

“My 11th birthday? That’s when The Dream started!” Adam noted, a newfound confidence in his voice, “Maybe you can help me. I’ve been having this dream where there's a whole bunch of people and a big red monster and the world is ending.”

Adam heard the man let out a sigh before be began to explain, “Well you see Adam, when you were younger, there was almost a big war that happened. Your memory was supposed to be wiped afterwards but it seems as if it failed at some point. It’s very possible that some of the people you remember are myself and my dear friend Crowley.”

Adam tested the names on his tongue, “Aziraphale and Crowley. You wouldn’t happen to be…”

Adam struggled to find the right words. It was hardly the done thing to go around and ask if people were ethereal beings but Adam needed to know. This could’ve been the only chance he had to get more information.

“Do you have wings?” Adam sputtered unsurely.

Aziraphale laughed softly, his beaming smile almost able to be heard through the phone, “Yes, my dear. I must say we do.”

Adam just about dropped the phone in shock as the puzzle pieces started to come together. He remembered the angel and the demon, and remembered the kind words they said to him. He could almost remember another angel and demon as well but they weren’t nearly as friendly.

Whatever happens, for good or for evil... we're beside you.

“Why did my memory get wiped though? Why couldn’t I remember you?” He asked unsurely, feeling some kind of pang in his chest at the lost connection. It’s like he found out a part of him had been missing that he didn’t even remember having lost.

“Everyone did, dear. It was just what had to happen for humanity to return to normal.”

“So…You saved the world? And I was there?” Adam tempted, hoping to clear the rest of the fuzziness that had been plaguing his brain for years.

“Adam, you saved the world.”

He simply couldn’t believe it. Saving the world isn’t something that you just did one afternoon and forgot about. Its the type of thing people won big shiny gold trophies for or got oversized keys to the city for doing. If Adam had truly saved the world, why did no one remember?

“Adam? Are you still there my boy?” The angel asked softly from the other end of the phone.

“I think I need to go now, Mr Fell. Thank you for your help.”

Adam abruptly hung up the call and handed the phone back to Pepper. He scooped up his belongings and stormed out of the library. He needed to go to the woods and collect his thoughts. He knew there was a chance of The Them following him but he couldn’t be in any enclosed spaces. It felt like his head was about to explode.

As he sat on a raised tree root in the Hogback Woods, he was almost overwhelmed by the intense deja vu. He could remember the perfect weather on the airbase that day that was in many ways tainted by the licks of sulphuric residue in the air. He could almost remember his father’s car driving up the runway to tell him off. And The Them were there with him.

“Aziraphale….Crowley….” He tested these names on his tongue, his brain struggling to get around the ideas. He had a few more of the puzzle pieces yet somehow he still couldn’t see the full picture and it was simply infuriating.

Dog was lightly licking Adam’s leg, having settled to laying beside him. Adam was resigned to the fact that he may just have to go see this bookseller after all. He just needed to find some reason for his father to need to go to London. Certainly easier than done.

Adam raced home and burst into the house, Dog eagerly prancing behind him. As he slammed the door open, Arthur was shocked at his son’s urgency.

“You alright, Adam?”

Adam huffed and puffed, taking a moment to regain his breath before answering, “We need to go to London.”

“London? God my boy, why would you want to do that?” He asked, pouring a glass of cool water for his son.

“Bookstore. Someone there we have to meet,” Adam panted slowly, before taking the glass of water and downing it quickly. That helped him regain some of his composure, “There’s a man at a bookstore I want to meet.”

“I mean if it’s truly that important we might be able to make the trip over the weekend but are you sure? It’s a bit of a drive. Surely we could just pop into Reading?”

Adam shook his head. “Specific bookshop, specific man.”

Arthur let out a sigh and took the glass from Adam, “I’ll have to ask your mother, you know.”

Adam nodded before racing back upstairs, prepared to spent yet another night researching. But he had a lead tonight. A particularly angelic one, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was finally close to getting some of the answers he was desperately seeking.

#good omens #crowley #good omens 2 #good omentober #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #ao3 fanfic

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themarvelhorse · 4 months

Text

EftD Chapter 11 – The Devil in Canterlot High Part 1

I’d just like to say. What the fuck.

Also, this commentary in particular had me doublebacking a lot, so I’m doing it acknowledging that I know the Chapter's end. Also I’m remembering so many actual terms for the literary devices used but alas, I’ll leave the accuracy be for the time being. Also I decided to break this one up so it’s not the tumblr equivalent of 17 Word Doc pages in a row.

Sunset Shimmer shivered from head to toe and couldn’t hide it even if she tried. And she tried. If she could at all avoid her friends seeing her like this, she would. It came in spasmodic spurts, with only seconds of control in between, starting from her legs or arms and rocking up to her core. She took in shallow, longing-to-be-deep breaths to steady herself, but, as if to rebel against her, her body didn’t listen.

First off, great start really sets the mood for the rest of the time Sunset’s going to be here. Absolutely dead-on with how it goes. The start and end of this chapter is mirrored. It’s right there in the title card. The big twist, I just didn’t see it. Even more obvious since we haven’t been seeing Sunset without something filtering her true feelings and self! But now, right there with that paragraph and the end of that first sentence – her body is rebelling against her, it didn’t listen. It can’t listen because it’s under Sombra’s control. Or soon will be.

It made her love them for trying—seriously, on a level she’d only thought possible recently—

AH!

Time spent with her favourite boys - even in totally-not-really-therapy-wink-wink - is working!

“... and I guess, I dunno, I just want to help so bad…”

GOODEST OF BOYS

He’s good. I think we’ll finally have this solved.”

I initially read this as “He’s good at being a therapist”, but I also like seeing how it could be interpreted as “He’s just genuinely a good guy”, which he is!

Flash stared at her for a second, the reels rewinding in his head almost so viscerally she could hear the sputtered squeal, and then he smiled. “Oh. I got third. They stumped me on the word castling because I thought it had an e in there somewhere, but I was super proud I could be so brave. My dad took me out for ice cream afterwards.”

A cutie mark origin story if there was one for this Flash! And just another thing to note. Even though Sunset genuinely seems cold, it’s also symbolic of her fear.

Sometimes the Princess would even let her sit on the throne.

;~;

Flash took that as a permission slip to start monologuing aloud about tactical breathing: in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. Of course, the music nerd in him counted it out like a 2/4 time signature. He even performed a demonstration of what that might look like, breathing to a beat of his own making.

Ngl, a while back I started reading this chapter. Then some shit happened, and I had to drive alone for 2 hours. It was a very emotional drive, and my adrenaline had me much more awake than I needed, but my mind came back to this bit. Kept me calm and kept my driving safe. Thank you for this <3.

Sunset let him. She thought she’d managed this breathing thing pretty well on her own all these years, she didn’t need a How to Guide. While the shakes didn’t stop entirely, she managed to calm them down to a level she hoped wouldn’t be perceptible.

I’m glad Sunset did let him, instead of saying to his face that she didn’t need a how-to guide. They both sorta understand each other in this way. Flash literally just said he wants to help so bad, but Sunset also didn’t want to be perceived as not being okay. Much more didn’t want anyone to say it out loud. So, he’s helping by telling her how to breathe when you have nerves but not pointing out directly that she seems nervous. Saying things out loud just hits so much harder. Guess that’s part of the point of therapy!

The door hung open after her like the toothy maw of a basilisk salivating strands of venom and ready to devour a fresh victim whole.

Speaking of perception… she’s really not perceiving this as a good thing lol. Cold shaking, shaking in fear like a helpless little mouse. And an actual mouse. NOT a ‘Tiny Vermin’. There’s a reason that boss is up a level after the Bone Hydra.

And Sunset would have been happy to continue staring off into the middle-distance, unreachable, but then, Timber Spruce slapped his hands on his knees, got up from his chair, and said, “You know what? Why not? Let’s get magical. I’ve got a few things to say.”

Sunset looked up then to see Timber send her a tired smirk before disappearing.

Absolute shocker. And absolutely love the way Timber went about this. Sometimes you just gotta dive right into the deep end to get used to the water. And of course, seeing all your friends jump in and then come out fine and in a good mood and the like, and you’re all that more likely to cave to the pressure. Timber especially so since he likes to also feel part of the Rainbooms.

“Would you jump into the mouth of a basilisk if all your friends did?”

“Well, if they got out and the basilisk spit did wonders for their general complexion and confidence, then yeah I guess I would.”

What would he say about her in there? What were they talking about? Closing the portal won’t take long. Ray and Scruffles need me to bring them, I’d have to get them first. If I close the portal, is that it? Could anyone open it again? Would the connection be severed? Would the crack in the sky disappear? What happens here when it’s gone?

She’s still on that?! Not even her girlfriend could convince her otherwise?!

Sunset knew with a cold certainty from her lectures and studies on the Roots of Magic that there was always a source. An origin, a cause.

I do not like that this certainty in particular is cold. Especially not with all the other ‘cold’ things going on. Also, I bet the origin is that damn horse statue in front of City Hall!

…(similar to the human economy, Sunset Shimmer understood little to nothing of human geography—and now she likely never would) ...

As a human geographer who also happens to be human, I find this very humourous. I do NOT recommend searching what I mean, it’s a rabbit hole of confusion and questioning as to geography’s place in academia (but fuck almost all of those Ivy League Universities, you know what university DOES include Geography among one of its VERY FEW master’s and doctorate programs? THE UNITED NATIONS UNIVERSITY! Guess actually helping people across the world through an interdisciplinary approach towards natural disasters under a changing climate isn't top of mind for them. Yes I'm bitter.)

Also would be funny if Sunset pursued geography as a result of going to NR (which apparently was important to military officer training in WW2).

This also makes the idea of “significant places of sorcery and love” especially interesting to me as a human geographer. We look into the human relationship with space, which we end up calling “place’. We assign value to it when we have this relationship, including emotional value. But these places can have different identities and values depending on the who its relating to.

What goes into those places of sorcery and love? If we think back to the Perfect Pear in the pony episodes, that is an example of assigning emotional value to a place. A place of love, where sorcery emerged, where these powerful interactions of two lovers, forbidden to be with each other but still so committed to being there anyway that they develop a place that was unique to them. But is there any place we’ve seen that could be classified as such in the human realm? Nightfall Reach certainly seems old, perhaps old enough to be classified so. And with Friendship being a core tenet, maybe there’s something there.

There’s likely something around Canterlot High, and that statue. Clearly the statue itself is imbued with magic. But did anything with strong enough love or sorcery exist in that space before the school did? Did it have to? So many relationships made, broken, by so many students coming in and out of that place, connected to a mirror. What other value might have been assigned here, and by whom?

In a small, cold place, she almost found herself excited for them. You go, girls. You’re going to be amazing.

OOF

She didn’t so much as say a word to her girlfriend or Flash before Timber appeared in front of her, hand outstretched.

Damn, I can’t even imagine what Twilight must be thinking after all that. It’s even worse knowing the first conversation after this will be through Sombra.

Sunset flinched and looked to her girlfriend, who sat beside her and, at some point, had taken Sunset’s hand, maybe to steady it. The little circles she revolved with her thumb stopped short.

Awwwwww!

Well she didn’t really mention much of the shakes since around the time Twilight came out, save for when Timber went in.

Solstice emerged from the office and his eyes billowed a ghastly gas-like steam. The crackle of it startled Flash in particular who ripped out of his seat, but neither Twilight nor Timber reacted.

Okay so, a bit of a development! Totally not at all concerning. Also totally not concerning that Twi and Tim are not concerned. sweats

Solstice waited for her like the ferryman at the perilous banks of the River Styx, lantern and steady smile at the ready.

Mouth of Styx starts playing

Sunset walking into hell, to face Hades himself.

Heart walloping against the confines of her ribcage, Sunset had to admit comfortable sounded so nice. Trying to stabilize one of her clammy hands with its partner, she nodded, mumbling, “Yeah, okay. Sure.”

Wow, really missing Twi’s hand, huh?

That made him smile, teeth pale like a full-moon in the shadow of night. Combined with his still demonically slitted eyes, Sunset fought the thought that Solstice looked almost animalistic and focused instead on the gentleness of his voice. “You can zip up your jacket, my dear, I don’t want you to freeze.”

Aaaahhh! Very werewolf-like. Indeed. I can see it be an apt metaphor for Solstice and his condition. The style and grace of the Sombra persona feeling more like a vampire, but the challenge of having something deep inside of you changing and turning you into a monster is something all too familiar for Sunset. The human realm has its own myths and legends, but she likely experienced so many of those myths made real back in Equestria. And, having dressed up like one for Halloween partly being the reason for her perceiving him this way. Or maybe its more of a Jekyll and Hyde thing.

“Tcht. No, see, I’d be offended. It’s kind of my look, so...” She gestured down to her open leather jacket in open rebellion.

Sunset’s willing to freeze before changing her look? Rarity will be so proud. Or disappointed since she could probably make it still warm while being fashionable.

Still, it’s a nice touch – Sunset’s here in her first counselling appointment, where it’s supposed to be a safe space to let yourself be comfortable enough to be honest with yourself and your feelings and the like. Where you can take off that figurative armour, literal in the case of Sunset and her rebellious identity, also being rebellious to the idea of counselling.

“Oh! Yes, that has to be frightfully frigid.”

I don’t like the implied tone here. Yes, the weather inside is frightful, but the other side of Sombra is so very much ALSO frightful. Maybe though, the fire inside that Solstice sets for the students’ souls will be so delightful.

She drank him in in full. It helped her own nerves to see the big bad opponent she was up against wore loafers like he was late for church service, wore his button-down not quite tucked into his belted slacks, and smelled like a coffee shop if it also used a wood stove. “Huh. You actually can’t feel cold?”

The BIG BAD… Churchgoer? More like wolf in sheep’s clothing. With Solstice being like that, it must’ve done both Flash and Timber a lot of good. A safe haven in a cold cold blizzard who emanates the woodsy-ness the latter likes, but speaks so very kindly, as the former would appreciate.

“Heaven knows the central heating could use an upgrade with me around to challenge it, but well. Public school.”

Okay so they can afford the special sports stuff but not heating?! I well… yeah no, that tracks.

But Solstice caught that. “Really, are you sure about your jacket? I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold in my office, I’d never forgive myself.” Sunset’s eyes went for a spin. “Think I’ll find a way to survive your office.”

laughing nervously

Solstice paused long enough to stare at her jacket’s zipper, as if tempted to zip it up himself. If he had telepathy or the sheer force of will, all bets might have been off. With the steam still billowing off his demonic eyes, he looked much angrier about it than he probably actually was. Or maybe it really did vex him that much, Sunset couldn’t say.

Combining the concerned pseudo-parent and rebellious teenager is a recipe for a glorious disaster named Sombra as he feeds on the anger from feeling a lack of control (or what I thought was anger, but is actually fear for her well-being).

Either way, he moved toward the kettle and basket of cookies. “Alright, it’s your decision. But speaking of dire choices: Can I at least get you anything? A hot beverage to keep warm?

Nothing like a hot beverage! Although I think that there should be a better word to define hot beverages than just “hot beverage”. I’ve been trying to get “café drinks” going here and there, but in this day and age? That can mean anything.

Sunset doubted the school counsellor would readily give her access to the type of beverage she really wanted to get through this. Fire down the throat always kept her warm, in a manner of speaking (especially if it was Nectar of the Gods, Sunset’s favourite Equestrian liquor; she’d never forget sneaking her first taste from the pools of Mount Olympus while on diplomatic missions with the Princess. Good times). She shifted on the plump couch cushion. “Tea’s good, if you have any. Camelmile?”

Who wouldn't want some Nectar of the Gods? I'm sure there'll be some at the coronation.

Whenever Sunset had an upset stomach⁠—her codeword for nervousness or feeling upset, honestly⁠—as a filly, Princess Celestia brewed her excellent tea. Trottingham chai, Zebrafrican rooibos, even a nice Griffonstonian oolong after a long day. It got to the point the sound of the kettle boiling in the hearth was enough to ease any irritation.

Just like 'mom' used to make~

Nodding, Solstice smiled around his own shoulder, back at her, setting up the mugs, not unlike a bartender.

Ah yes, the bartender, discount therapist!

His little wooden stirring stick whisked the cup in an erratic fashion. “Warping the minds of the youth with their overpriced... cake coffee. Oh, it sounds delicious, but what you’ve really gone and done is ruined a perfectly good pot of coffee and convinced swarms of innocent teenagers they’ve bought themselves a luxury item!”

He grumbled more into his own mug as he sipped to avoid an overflow before realizing; he swallowed his mutterings down with his coffee. “I have… a lot of feelings about beverages. Wine especially. But I suppose the point was that it’s nice to know I’m not the only ex-career student here.”

Recently I’ve come to appreciate whisky. I enjoyed it before, sure, but now I understand that among the connoisseurs, the best whisky is the one you like, and that includes whiskey ;)

But that does bring me to another observation – Sunset mentioned alcohol in her head before Solstice said it out loud. Foreshadowing about getting in her head? Or is it another point about how much they actually have in common?

It’s wild seeing how much coffee has really taken off though. I see a lot of similarities between wine and coffee connoisseurs. The sheer difference in variety of tastes based on where it’s grown and the conditions that gave rise to it – it’s terroir - and how it’s processed or even what you add to it in each minuscule amount.

Each student technically is a product of their own terroir. Even though the students are all different, they’re also similar in so many ways – that’s why they can empathize with each other despite those different experiences. But of course, with a unique terroir, it’ll get harder and harder to have an accurate read on knowing how someone else is feeling. As a geographer once said, "everything is related to everything else, but near things are more related than distant things." People who grew up in one place have much more in common than someone from a different place depending on what's available to them: the culture there, foods available, cost of things in the community, etc. But the processing of the coffee bean or the wine changes that too! As it goes through its life cycle, it started out somewhere, like all its neighbours, but slowly changed along the way as new experiences shaped it, and shaped the person.

And that’s why its important for someone like Solstice to be there. He talks to them and gets into the finer notes and details of people, even with the added sugar. His comment about cake coffee makes me believe he dislikes it because he dislikes how the uniqueness of each cup getting drowned out and taken away by fads among teens, making it harder for them to be open and honest with each other if all they're concerned with is the fad. Cause if you're not open and honest, how can you have an open and honest relationship with one another? With Sunset’s “look”, she’s dressed up like a mocha and refuses to let him or anyone else really know the core of what’s there. All that sugar added drowns out what makes everyone unique and beautiful in their own way. Unless you're a coffee connoisseur among coffee connoisseurs.

That and he's worried about them being manipulated.

“That’s true. I apologize. I don’t know. Call it an educated guess, then,” he told her, carrying over her mug. “Maturity is usually hard-won, much like degrees and education. Or forgiveness.” Solstice offered a smile as he gave her the drink. “Your friends speak very highly of you, Sunset. Your story is something of a legend around here. You are.”

Well at least Sunset has the forgiveness thing under her belt. The former she could get no problem! Just gotta figure out what that will be.

“…I don’t do well with heights, not a fan.”

I anticipate foreshadowing here.

Would it be dramatic to say I’ve got a fear phobia? Sunset thought. “I’ve got a fear phobia. Only thing I fear is fear itself, you know? So if you’re wondering about your eyes, it’s cool, don’t worry about it. I’m not afraid of you.”

Sombra likes to be dramatic and uses fear as his primary weapon. If he’s not fear itself, then I don’t know what is for ya, Sunny.

“I’ll do my best to help you achieve that, then.” Solstice handed her a waiver of some sort, complete with clipboard and pen. “Everything you say here is completely confidential. The only exceptions to that are if I’m required to disclose case-relevant details in a court of law, or, and this is important, if you pose an immediate danger to yourself or others. At which point, I would contact the proper authorities for safety reasons.”

…

The authorities? Celestia, Flash’s dad would kill me if he knew I planned to leave Flash behind again. If Chief Magnus murders me, Flash might find out I’m leaving and try to stop me. “No.”

Including this part so specifically, leads me to believe the reason is twofold:

1. Our most glorious author, Marvel Prime, is presenting the reader with an accurate portrayal of the processes of going to therapy, based on her own knowledge and experience. This in turn, is also useful to anyone reading this in terms of knowing what to expect if they go in.

2. Foreshadowing. The callback back to good ol Detective Daddy-o, Flash Magnus, who probably has a case on her, and just needs a little bit more to bring it to court. The other element of “this is important”, is not just for her, but for the reader to remember. Because she gets body swapped again, she will ultimately pose said immediate danger to herself and others. Also, who knows if “proper authorities” can actually mean Princess Twilight and the crew bringing in some magic-ass kickin’. Seems like the proper authority to me.

Not that she had any plans on re-terrorizing the school or putting everyone’s lives in danger, but Sunset could almost hear the cell-doors clanking shut in front of her.

Wonderfully brought together with the art right in this section too! The shadow of the blinds making it look all too much like cell-doors. Signing her name? Signing her confession…. DUN DUN DUUUN.

“Oh-ho, no. Nope. We’re not doing this, no,” Sunset said, arms barred across her chest like a luxurious stay at the Tartarus Juvenile Detention Centre. “I’m not here to talk about me, I’m here to help my friends change back.”

And prison references continue! It all comes back together. All the Greek mythology references, combined with the justice system, coming together into that – the Tartarus Juvenile Detention Centre being the reason for the references and how this all feels, that she’s ultimately a bad friend and bad person, even if she’s not going to terrorize the school again not that she’ll have any say in that though. But also this whole thing could just be in of itself another way to foreshadow just that. Either way, she’s venturing through Hades to save her friends, but is willing to stay there if it means making things right.

Y’know it also kinda feels like Solstice is gonna pull out the ol’ Rorschach tests.

“Tell me what you see?”

Sunset proceeds to see either her kissing Twi, her strangling Timber, or Celestia disappointed in her.

Arms crossed. Sunset took in air just to sigh it back out like sand dragged back into the sea.

AND IT STILL MAKES YOUR FEET GRAINY. THERE’S ALWAYS A LIL BIT LEFT BEHIND IN YOUR SANDAL.

And a stop to say it’s lovely seeing this second picture right after. Solstice just across from the ‘imprisoned’ Sunset, showing the source of the cell-door imagery. Again, I’m no artist, but I feel like there’s a number of contrasts and comparisons to be seen here.

First, I’ll admit I don’t know what that thing is in the right side of the first pic and left side of the second pic. BUT It does connect the two – the way its coloured and the angle it’s on.

Second, the difference in line styling with each picture – the one feat. Sunset is softer, more rounded, wavy, especially when the shadow-prison-bars hit Sunset herself. Notably, the only parts of Solstice that are rounded are the two that are most influenced by Sombra.

Third, the way these two come together. It’s literally shadow prison bars. AND that’s what curves around Sunset. Her tea’s steam curves and is reminiscent of her hair, but curves towards Solstice. The parts of Solstice influenced by Sombra are his hair and his breath. They’re mimicking her – again a sort of foreshadowing, and also almost soul-like (yes I'm thinking Danny Phantom). Oh yeah also it’s like, half his face literally covered in shadow too. But not just any shadow, a shadow that reflects the Yin-Yang symbol – the darkness in the light, and the light in the darkness.

“Yes, precisely!” He leaned forward to the edge of his seat. “But the exact effect is dependent on you! Anyone can feel love for their friends, or joy, anger, fear—really, I believe you’re right, the intensity of your emotions correlates to the intensity of your magic. But if the power comes from you directly, it’s also my belief that exactly how it manifests is related to your individual psychology. Who you are, what those emotions mean to you personally.”

Okay, don’t like how he ended on fear there. Can’t take this fore-shadow-ing.

If Solstice’s individual personality affects how his magic manifests, does that mean his initial fear, perhaps fear of his father, helped make it what it is now? Would his guilt manifest differently, since that seems to be strong with him? Or maybe guilt is simply the aftermath of fear having been realized.

A stupid giggle bubbled to the surface. “I’ve had theories for years,” Solstice near-squealed, his eyes flickering back to their regular green, if only momentarily, and back again. “It wasn’t until I came here to help you students that I had any way of observing other samples besides myself! And the most marvelous part is I may have guided the students towards the answers, but they’re the ones to figure it out! And now they can learn to harness those powers for good! Emotional therapy meets magical theory!”

And here we see an example of it all playing out. Sunset mentioned acting as your true self as a form of creating strong emotions – and Solstice is no longer acting. He’s never had the chance to actually be his true self until an opportunity like this presented itself. He’s always had to act on stage, act a certain way in front of his dad, find this niche interest and be unable to share it, and he’s had to act like everything’s okay in order to not induce anxiety in anyone else, which would make him feel worse. He’s had to filter and mute himself. And thus, him acting as his true self allows him to regain control of his whole, true self back from Sombra. Allows him to be powered by magic through something stronger than fear. For now.

And that's the end of Part 1 of this chapter's commentary!

#Empathy for the Devil #EftD #EftD Chapter 11 Commentary #EftD Chapter 11 Commentary Part 1 #my stuff #commentary #marvelandponder #bevinbrand

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 2 years

Note

Hello! I hope your day has been great! 💜 I was wondering if you could write a fic of Jack and reader getting married? If not, that’s okay! 😊

𝐌𝐫𝐬. 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐰

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: reader and Jack getting married

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: tears idk

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jack Harlow x f! Reader

𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤/𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞.

𝐃𝐎𝐍❜𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

Jack stood before the mirror fixing up his tie. He let out an unstable breath; today was the day, he was planning to marry you. he was more than prepared to wed you, but his nerves were all over the place. A few breathing exercises afterward he was still a mess. He hoped he could pull it together before he's needed to the altar, but he wasn’t sure if that was attending to be possible.

“You ready?” Jack looked at Urban through the reflection. Jack gestured, settling his tie up one more time some time recently, moving from the mirror. “I'm ready.” Jack strolled over to the chair where his dress coat was. He pulled it off the chair and put it on.

Urban knew his friend well to know something was up. He was quiet, which wasn’t like him at all. “What's up with you.” Jack shook his head hoping it was enough to convince Urban nothing was wrong, but Urban didn't settle with that. “Jack, I know you’re lying. What is it?” Jack groaned, looking over at Urban. “Man, I'm nervous.” Jack ran his hand through his brown curls, “what if she doesn’t want to be married?” Urban shook his head, he put his hand on Jack's shoulder and made him look at him.

“Bro she’s ready. I just saw her a couple of minutes prior and she’s fucking excited to wed. Get out of your head man.” Jack relaxed a bit knowing you were prepared. “Now we gotta go.” Jack and Urban went to the altar to get ready for you to come out. You on the other hand stood in front of your friend, metta and Neelam. They looked at you in your dress in awe.

“You guys like it?”

“We love it.” Neelam said. “Jack will love it even more.. Speaking of jack, are you ready to get married?”

You exhaled, “ready as I’ll ever be."

Everyone was in their places and waiting for you. Jack stood at the altar, urban as his best man and the rest of the guys as as his groomsmen. Jack's heart was beating against his chest at a million miles per hour as he waited. He wasn't sure if it was because he was excited to marry you or nervous to see you in your dress.

A few minutes went by before the door opened. Everyone stood up and focused on the door. You walked in making everyone gasp. Jack breath got caught in his throat and he choked back tears as he watched you walk in in your long beautiful dress.

You looked at him with a soft smile and a twinkle in your eyes. Jack returned it. You walked down the aisle, your eyes never leaving Jack's.

Your dad handed you off to jack. You grabbed his hand and looked up at him. Jack mouthed I love you, you smiled at him and kissed his hand.

The officiant read out their words to you both, but you both were too focused on one another throughout everything.

When it was finally time to read your vows you took a deep breath and began.

“jack, from the moment I met you I knew you were the one. Sure were cocky, high, and a horrible flirt, but I knew you were the one. These passed three years with you have been nothing but amazing. I've shared many laughs with you and many tears. I've become a better person because of you. You taught me what real love is even when I thought I wouldn't find it. There's no man I want to wake up next to other than you. There's no man I want to be the father of my children other than you. There's no man I want to spend the rest of my days with other than you. I love you and I can't wait for the rest of our lives together.

Jack smiled at you. He couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with you either.

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow smut #jack harlow fanfiction #jack Harlow x you

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gavinsdeviant · 1 year

Text

To my love

cw/tw- mention of deceased parents, distressed character, just a sad vibe in general

word count- 1,034

fandom- Redacted Audio

pairing- Rose & Gabe

Inspired by the song To build a home by The Cinematic Orchestra

@davidshawswife

Hey Rose

Just another monthly update since it makes life without you a little easier. The little man started walking last week. I left him on his own near the couch to get some water and came back to find the little rascal pushing himself up on two legs.

I’ve thought of you so much since then, how your face would have lit up to have seen that for yourself. I see so much of you in him and I couldn’t have been more grateful for that.

The house still feels empty, but not as much anymore— with Davey, there’s always a part of you that’s here. He’s the place where I feel less alone, where I feel at home.

I built this house for you and me, not knowing how fast it’d become me and David’s. I want you back, but somehow I know you’d be happy to see how life ended up without you.

I’m happy, despite everything. I’m happy for our son and how, when the wind gusted and nearby blew me away, you held on tight. And I clung back.

I love you, Angel.

With so much love

Gabe

David read his dad’s words over and over again, as if that’d make any difference. Everything made sense now.

Why Gabe left letters at her grave only to pick them up 10 minutes after. He still kept them, all these years later. He left them there so she could read them, even when they both knew she couldn’t.

The next one had similar lettering as he began reading, no introduction as his eyes brimmed with tears.

You leave little reminders everywhere. At first, I took it as coincidence, but you always did know how to drive me insane, my beautiful mate. First it started as a feather in David’s cot. Then another one in your favourite cook book— the one you left behind, because I didn’t know how to cook for the life of me. The one that one day would be David’s.

Every day I wake up you leave that little white feather everywhere. On my face, on the pillow that used to be yours, and on every possible surface in the house.

I love you, Angel. Always will.

With the most love

Gabe

With a shuddering breath, David picks up the first one he knew his dad had wrote, the earliest date after his mom’s death.

Hi,

It’s been awhile— nearly a month now since I last held my hand. I just wanted to tell you how much your last message meant to me. I haven’t been sleeping, your words playing on loop in my mind.

A week before you left, you send me a text. One that explained how much you loved me and David and how we needed to make the memories count. You said you loved me more than words could have explained, and I shook with tears at hearing that. I couldn’t have asked for a better mate, Rose. You were the best mom to David and I wouldn’t have asked for anyone else.

And then it took you. Took you from me and David— from the seeds we had planted in the soil. From the beginning we had made, together.

I just wanted to thank you for always being there. If you were here you probably would have laughed at me, because “who thanks someone for loving them?”

Well, thank you for loving me even when I made it hard.

With all my love

Gabe

And as David read the letters, a love story told in words nobody else would see but him, two envelopes fell.

One he had never seen before, and one he vowed to never open.

Gabe had only left one request in his will— leave the white envelope with the blue seal on your mother’s grave once I’m gone. Afterwards, he was free to do whatever he wanted with it.

He’d been so caught up in his grief, he had done exactly that— and afterwards had just left it where he had found it. It was too raw still. He now tore open the seal with a speed he didn’t know he possessed, desperate for that last bit of his dad that he had left. There weren’t many words, but still he held onto them as he read.

Hey, my love

We’re together, at last! We’ve ran back into each other wherever it is that we go when we’re gone. I missed you so much, and now, I don’t have to be alone again. Though, David may be out there somewhere, not with us, I feel pride in knowing that my son is still living, that no harm has come to him and that he is the Alpha that I’ve raised him to be. I’m so unbelievably happy to call him our son.

I love you David— and I love you Rose.

For however long the universe lets me.

Tears stream down David’s face as he presses the paper to his chest, body wracking with sobs. The letter he had never seen before still lay unopened at his feet. His cries began anew as he scanned the handwriting. Delicate and not at all like Gabe’s. Rose’s.

To my two beautiful boys,

Gabe, first of all, thank you for being the best husband and father any mate could have asked for. My heart is full knowing that when I’m gone, David will still have you.

And just know, that it’s okay. Okay to fall in love again. I understand, and will always love you.

And to my beautiful son, David. I’m proud of the man you have become— proud of the future that’s been filled with so many more memories. I hope you find the Rose to your Gabe, someone you can call a mate. I hope whoever they are, that they fill your sunsets with light.

Sorry I’m not there to share the motherly memories and experiences with. I wish I could have stayed longer.

I will love you two forever.

With so much love

Mom & Rose

And as Angel came into the room and wrapped their arms around them he knew—knew that one day they would marry them.

#redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted audio #redacted david #redacted angel #redacted gabe #redacted david’s mom #redacted OC #sorry for this whole thing

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magnuficent76 · 1 year

Text

He was there before me.

He sat hunched over, with a bottle by his side and flowers in hand. Uncharacteristically small, for someone who tried so hard to make himself as big as possible. He didn't even hear me come in, I'm pretty sure. He's not supposed to be here today.

"Archie?" I called out. He turns around without a word, then turns back to the graves in front of him.

We've been burying family in the same spot nowadays. The old house wasn't serving any purpose, so we buried them all in the same place. Mom's bedroom. After pops died, she went soon after because of grief. We moved them both here.

"...Jonah." Archer responded after a minute of silence.

"'Thought we were going to switch every week for the flowers?"

"I know. I just… I wanted to add more. I feel like they deserve more flowers."

I look at the bottle. It's already half emptied. He's drinking it here of all places.

"...Fair."

I sit by his side. We're sitting on mom's favourite bench. We moved it in the room after she died too. It used to stay outside, for her to watch us over when we were kids. The paint is faded, and it's old, and it creaks a little when I sit on it. It's weird, thinking this used to be such an honour. Sitting by your mother's side after playing for an hour or two. But now she's dead, and it's not where it's supposed to be anymore.

"...Jonah, do you remember when we were kids, and you lost your leg?" He asks, dragging out his words a little. It was a tell tale sign of his. Whenever he gets drunk, he sounds out the "w" and "u" a lot more.

"How could I forget, right?" I pat my thigh and extend my prosthetic a bit. I'm smiling, but it feels morbid to be. "What about it?"

"I remember when we came home for the first time afterward. Mom played the violin for you, I'm pretty sure."

The sound of violins echoed back in my mind.

I heard it whenever I got a new leg. I heard it when I would wake in the morning and put it on. I heard it when the phantom pain came back to itch in a specific spot on my ankle that didn't exist anymore. The violin was and still is one of my favourite sounds because of her, I think.

"Yeah. I- I remember that."

"We got instruments too. Yours was a saxophone, and dad would let me play his piano-"

"Oh, I remember that. You used to get in trouble for how dirty your hands were when you played!"

"Heh, yeah… he…he picked on that a lot." His voice gets quieter for that. Pops picked on Archer a lot as a kid, no matter what he did. Curse of the eldest, I suppose- but there was something else.

When we were kids, by far I was the scrappier one. Pops loved it. I was his "big strong man" at 6 years old. It was weird, thinking back on it now, that I got away with so much as a kid for being "rougher" than my brother. I was rude and always getting myself into trouble, but the consequences never came for me. Archer never did anything as a kid, at least not that I remember, that was particularly odd. He and I were curious about the world and so we'd explore it together, but when it came down to problems, he was always the one getting the blame for them.

It occurred to me at some point that maybe Pops just didn't like him as much. I didn't know exactly why. But it felt like it. Now, I'm pretty sure it's because Archie was "softer" in his eyes. He looked a lot more like our mom. He spent a lot more time with her too. The piano was dad's, but she was the one that taught him to play.

Sometimes I wonder how much of her our dad associated with Archie, and if that made him mad, somehow. For being more "effeminate". I wonder if he knew.

"Sometimes, we'd all play together. Dad said it was a concert just for him, and it was…well. It was nice." He pauses for a moment. His hand clutches around the bouquet. "I was thinking. Do you think we could, um, play together, again?"

"Mm. I haven't played the sax in a while though. I don't even know if I could, really."

"That's alright. It's been years since I laid hands on a piano. I just, I feel like we could do with bonding time, you know? We haven't… been around each other much."

I look back at the almost-empty bottle. Then I look at him. He doesn't look back. I bite my tongue before I say,

"...Could be fun."

"Could be."

We stay quiet.

There's pictures of our family near their graves. They're dirty, and old, but they show us. We're closer in the pictures hung over the bodies of our parents than we are in this very moment, on different sides of the bench. I wanted to ask If that's the truth, why do you never ask that when you're sober? Why do you need to get shitfaced before you even talk to me? but I didn't. I couldn't. Not here. Not now.

The wind outside blew against the window. Dirty air, carrying dust and death, against the bedroom window. It rattled the lock just barely.

"I wish I could've been here for them more, sometimes."

I don't say anything.

"Mom was so lonely after dad passed. I should've been here."

What else is there to say.

"I just… I don't know. I miss her a lot, you know? I wish she was still around."

When she was here you were busy with your work. Your work and nothing more. It's always work with you. Of course you wish she was around, because it'd mean you'd feel less bad. It's always about how you feel, and not the fact your mom is dead.

I bite my lip, barely being able to contain the wrinkling between my eyebrows.

"...How was your week, Jonah?"

…

"...Just long. No invasions this time around. Got to be with my friends though."

"That's nice,"

"Yeah."

…

"How about you?"

"...I don't remember. My head hurts."

"Ah."

…

"Jonah,"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I should've died? Before she did, that is."

I can barely contain the shock in my voice, "What?? No! Why would you want that? Why would you say that right now?"

"I don't know. I've been thinking about it. Maybe I should've died in the accident, instead of having you save me."

"God dude. No. What the fuck. Why would you even say that?" It makes me angry when he does this. Dwelling in what ifs. Making a situation about him, how HE would've reacted. "That shit already happened. There's no point in thinking about that."

"Do you think our parents would've loved me more as a memory?"

I can't even bring myself to speak. I just stare at him. I stare, and I almost wish he'd explode right there and then. How could you even say something like that, in front of your mother, your very dead mother?

"Maybe dad wouldn't have been so disappointed in me if he saw just the outline, right?"

"Archie."

"I'm just saying." He finally looks back at me. His eyes are so dead. One of them glows brightly yellow, from the LED lense he installed in his eye. It was company mandated. Even here, at the edge of the world, in his childhood home, in his parent's bedroom, he couldn't forget about it for one minute. "I wish he loved me more," he whimpers, "I wish I died as a kid so he would love me more."

"God, I hate when you do this! It doesn't matter! Our dad is fucking DEAD Archer! He's DEAD and GONE and maggots are eating him right now! Stop talking about it like it matters!" I snap, getting up from the bench.

Archer cries, and lets go of the bouquet so he can cover his face.

"Why are you being so mean to me? Aren't I suffering enough?"

"It's not about you right now! Look at where you are!"

He wipes away his snot and tears on his pristine condition suit. I never see him like this. I never see him at all. I feel bad, I think, but ultimately I can't sympathise on a real scale.

"You have so much shit now Archer. You've a job, and money, and a whole different life on another planet, and everything you could possibly want at the tip of your fingers. You abandoned your life here the moment you had even the slightest opportunity to." I feel anger flare up from a hidden place behind my lungs, rushing through my throat as I talk, rattling in my ribcage, "And you deserve to feel bad, because when you had the chance to be around, what'd you do? Nothing. Because that's what you do."

He's still sobbing. The bottle fell over on the bench, away from him. But I won't stop. Not now, that I'm already so far in.

"You're complaining so much for someone who never even cared to text our mom. You miss her so much for someone who didn't even care to be here the day she died. I buried her on my fucking own Archer!"

"Stop. Please. Please stop."

"No! You need to hear this because if you don't you'll keep being the brat you've always been! I've been working my ass off since FOREVER to get to where I'm at! You got LUCKY doing NOTHING and now you get to do NOTHING for a life! Do you even understand? You don't get to be upset! You don't get to feel bad that she's gone now, because you were never in her fucking life to begin with!"

"Jonah please. Please. Please, I'm sorry. Please stop. I understand. I'm the worst. Don't yell at me please. I don't like it. Please." He slurs, clutching his hair. It's so messy. He's a mess now.

"...stop saying that. I didn't… say that." I take a deep breath, and sit next to him, placing an arm around his back. Why did I do all that? Why would I even say all of that? What was even the point? "You're not the worst Archie. But you need to understand. All you do nowadays is work and drink wine and work again."

"I know."

"Then why do you keep doing it? You say you want to be around me more, but I never hear from you."

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

…

"Do you hate me Jonah?" Archer looks at me with big, wet eyes. They've been puffy for a while. This isn't the first time he cried today. He's red and sweaty and his hair is all frizzled. He doesn't look like my older brother, and I don't feel any younger. "I don't want you to hate me Jonah. You're the only family I have. Please don't hate me."

"...I don't hate you Archie. I don't hate you at all." I bring him closer and let him fall to my shoulder, hugging me tight. "I hate when you do dumb shit like this, but I want you well man. You're my brother."

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't. Don't say that unless you're gonna stop doing stuff like that."

Silence.

"Are you going to stop?"

"...I don't know. I don't know how to."

"Then don't say it until you figure it out."

"...okay. That's fair."

He doesn't let go. And I don't either. I pat his back, and feel him slump a little more. He won't remember what happened today, even if he does, and I guess that's just how it's going to be.

He's the last family I have. And I don't want to lose him. But it's hard to feel bad.

It feels worse to have said that in front of our par ents. They're dead and they can't even have a break from us. But I guess that's just how it is.

We sit on the bench for a little longer in silence. Then, after what felt like hours, he grabs the bottle, and puts the flowers inside. There's barely any liquid, and I will change it once I get the chance, but he places it right in between their tombs. Wordlessly, I help him get up,

And then we both part ways.

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gaylorvader · 2 years

Text

The Black Widows Brother

(Yelena and Natasha x ftm brother reader)

Summary:Natasha and Yelena had another sister in Ohio. They escaped the Red Room only years later to meet each other again. But when they meet her again it turns out he was their brother the whole time.

Warnings:swearing,brief violence,dysphoria,unintentional misgendering

Word count:4,288

It was hell. It was for every one of you, you grew up constantly having to fight each other to survive. Kids shouldn't grow up having their mantra be, kill or be killed. That's what you always thought after that undercover mission in Ohio.

You had to pretend to be a family. A guy named Alexei as your dad, an older widow Melina as your mom, and lastly your sisters, Natasha and Yelena. God you loved those two more than anything. Even if it was all fake it was nice to pretend to be a normal family.

Sadly it ended and even though you tried to stay together you were kids, you could only do so much against fully trained adults. You never saw any of them again, but managed to sneak a photo of your sisters with you. It's what kept you going.

Years after when you were a teenager you started to realize that you felt more masculine. You'd always wanted to be a tomboy but now you hated the curves you were getting and your chest, as well as your voice. You despised all the feminine stuff they made you do, more than the others.

Could you be a guy? I mean weirder shit's happened to you. Whatever the answer, you knew you couldn't take this anymore and started to plan your escape. It was hard and took years of planning but you did it. Not without some scars though, the most prominent being the long one under your ear from a bullet narrowly missing you.

Once you were in the clear you ended up doing mercenary work to make ends meet, and afford to never stay in one place too long. People didn't seem to care about hiring a teenager to kill someone or whatever else they wanted.

You always tried to make as little of an impression as possible, but it was kinda hard with a scar on your face or a mask to cover it.

You eventually found out what being trans was and everything just clicked together. Luckily you had made enough money for what you needed to transition. And you were finally happy with your body.It was easy to change your name as well when you're a ghost.

No matter where you were or what you were doing you always had that picture of your sisters with you hidden in your necklace. And it was still what kept you going, even though you didn't know if they were alive.

After everything with Thanos was over you managed to see the Avengers on tv and saw Nat was fine. You were so relieved you hid and cried, happy she was ok. You still didn't know about Yelena though and you started thinking she was dead.

Afterwards you just went back to normal continuing your nomadic shit and doing mercenary work along the way. But you were eventually on a powerful group's radar.

After a year of playing cat and mouse they finally caught you, you ended up in a cell. After what felt like forever a man walked in.

"Try not to wear a track in the floor from your pacing. Please, sit." He gestured to the table in the room. You didn't.

"Or not." He said shrugging. He sat down before saying. "You have quite the reputation for a ghost. As far as we can see you popped up out of nowhere."

You didn't say anything.

He looked at you not saying anything before going to his folder. "Alias:Phasmus, real name:unknown. Guilty of murder, assault, theft, and smuggling. And those are just the ones we know of. You're in a bad position here."

You still didn't talk and it was starting to annoy him not that he showed it.

"Listen, I met a person like you. Came from a bad start, hurting people. But one of my agents decided to go against orders and help her." He leaned forward on the table "I see the same hurt and potential in you that he saw in her, and now she's the best of the best."

You stared at him before saying "You asking me to join the boy scouts Fury?"

He smirked "If you wanna call it that. You'd be helping people and you wouldn't have to constantly move."

You thought about it. Natasha was there, maybe you could see her again. You held your necklace tightly zoning out, you missed her and surely if Nat trusted them they were fine.

"Deal pirate man."

After a week or so Fury had decided to finally introduce you to earth's mightiest heroes. Fury, or as you liked calling him to his annoyance pirate man, Maria Hill, and you, rode into the compound.

"Don't do anything stupid here Phasmus or you're going to spend your life in a cell." Maria reminded you.

You didn't even look at her, you just grunted in acknowledgment of her sentence. You were looking out the window trying to calm yourself, you were about to meet your sister for the first time in years. You escaped before Natasha, would she even remember you? Or worse what if she didn't like you for being trans?

Maria snapped you out of your thoughts by literally snapping her fingers in front of your face.

"We're here." She said, and you saw a little bit of worry in her.

You just nodded and got out with her and Fury. You were wearing your mercenary outfit, mask over your face. It made you feel safe for some reason, even though you've been shot at wearing it. Maybe it was because it made you feel hidden.

You all walked in, Fury giving you a very brief overview of the Avengers. Including what he expected from you. You of course only half listened, trying to keep your breathing under control. They didn't know you were a black widow and you liked it that way, less questions for now. But damn would it surprise them. Hell they didn't even know you were trans.

"Ok, wait here. I'll talk to them first, then you'll come in." Fury told you before turning to Maria "Watch him." She nodded and you rolled your eyes.

After he walked in you leaned against a wall setting your foot on it. "Don't put your shoes on the wall." Maria told you. "It's cleanable." You said flatly.

She shook her head, rubbing her eyes in frustration and sighed, clearly already tired of your shit. "Just, don't be an ass in there."

"I won't." You said staring off into space clearly thinking about something. And Maria saw it, but it didn't look like you were planning anything bad, if anything you looked worried.

"What is it? You look pretty worried for an infamous mercenary." She asked. You cursed yourself for letting the figurative mask slip.

"Nothing you need to worry about Agent Hill. It's my problem, not yours." She was surprised, you never called her agent, it was always Hill or Maria if you were mad at her. So she got a feeling it was serious but before she got a chance to ask, Fury called you two in.

He quickly started introducing you to the team. "This is Phasmus. As I said, his skill set is pretty much the same as Romanoff's." It was still weird to hear her called Romanoff and not Romanova.

You spotted her as soon as you walked in, sat around the same table as her team. You were luckily able to keep from staring, it was hard though. You just wanted Fury and Hill to piss off so you can talk to your sister for the first time in years.

"Where are you from exactly?" Steve asked.

"Somewhere unimportant." You said flatly. It made him a little uncomfortable, especially with knowing your background as a mercenary.

"How do we know we can even trust you?" Tony asked

Fury was about to answer before you did. "How do I know I can trust you?"

Fury just sighed. "I trust him enough to have him here and not rotting in a cell. I'm taking a chance with him, the same Barton did with Romanoff, and I trust you all to watch him."

Tony sighed as well before nodding and muttering an "ok."

Fury looked over everyone, including you before telling Cap to help you set up your room. Not like you had much anyway. It was really just a large hiking backpack, what you could keep in there was all you had.

"Well I think you all have it from here. Good luck Avengers, I'll be seeing you." And with that he left, and you just stood there awkwardly before Cap suggested moving to the living room to talk after he showed you to your room so you could put your bag in there.

"Is that really all you have?" Steve asked when you put it down.

"Yeah. I moved constantly, I couldn't afford to have more than the essentials." He looked at you sadly, he was too nice for his own good you thought.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. Let's get back to the others if that's it." He said and you nodded following him.

While Steve was helping you Natasha couldn't stop thinking about you. You looked so familiar but she didn't know where from. She was so focused on it Wanda accidentally heard her thoughts.

Luckily the others were talking and laughing so they wouldn't attract attention. "You're thinking too loud Nat." She said lightly.

"Oh sorry. It's just bugging me. He looks so familiar but I don't know where from."

"Phasmus?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe you knew someone who looked like him?" Wanda offered as an explanation.

Natasha thought about it. "Maybe."

Just after their conversation you and Steve walked back in.

After choosing your spots, you sitting the furthest away from them, Steve spoke. "Ok how about we get to know each other?"

"If you make us go around in a circle I'm jumping out the window." Tony said.

You knew Wanda could read minds so you tried to keep yours quiet. Easier said than done when being so close to your sister.

Vision did ask something while Cap and Tony were arguing, causing them to stop.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you move so often? It seems as though you were running from something."

Your fairly relaxed face turned cold and you glared at the android.

"I'm a mercenary, I have enemies."

Vision seemed a little anxious but continued. "Yes, but even when you first appeared in Ukraine you were moving constantly. I don't mean to offend, I'm simply curious."

You still glared but coldly now. "Just stop asking about it."

He nodded. "Of course. My apologies if I overstepped your boundaries."

He sure was a polite robot. "It's fine."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "You won't tell us where you're from or why you moved so much. Is there anything you'll tell us, your favorite thing for breakfast maybe?" He said annoyed.

"My favorite thing for breakfast is being able to have breakfast." You said.

The room went silent.

"I know what that's like." Bucky said. "Being on the run constantly is hard, any food is good food right?"

You smirked behind your mask. "Yeah. It is."

Trying not to have an awkward silence again Sam spoke this time. "So, uh, what's with the mask? I mean we already know who you are, kinda."

You looked at him before looking at Natasha out of the corner of your eye. You also saw Wanda sit up a little straighter. She didn't mean to but she saw some of it, running in the woods from the Red Room, you, Yelena, and Natasha as kids, she pulled back as soon as she could. She was confused, very very, confused.

You had a feeling she saw into your mind. You leaned forward, arms resting on your legs.

You pulled your mask down, followed by a few gasps and wide eyes.

"I was running from" you paused "from where I came from. They were chasing me to either bring me back dead, or alive. One bullet grazed me here." You said pointing to it, before subconsciously rubbing it.

It was silent for a while before she spoke up. It reminded her of the stories of what happened if you tried running from the Red Room.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. Whoever they are, you're safe from them here, I promise."

You had trouble looking away from her. But you did eventually. You smiled slightly. "Thanks."

Steve spoke next. "I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say I'm sorry you went through that. If you're comfortable you could tell us who they are and we can protect you from them?"

You put your head down, shaking it, chuckling joyless.

"You wouldn't believe me Captain."

He smiled at you sweetly. "Try me."

You stared at him. 'Guess it's now or never y/n' you thought.

Taking a deep breath you told them. "I was running from-from the Red Room."

You could feel the wave of shock that hit everyone.

Natasha looked cold, emotionless. "Prove it."

You pushed up your sleeves leaving your bracelets. You had modified them to look different so if someone from the Red Room saw they wouldn't clock you as being from there. They looked more masculine and fit your style more.

You turned them on and they lit up. Pointing them at a wall you shot it once before turning them back off, handing one to Natasha.

She was surprised when I almost matched hers perfectly besides the exterior of them.

"I modified them so they didn't look like widowbites. I didn't want them to find me for obvious reasons."

"Wait but I thought the Red Room only had women as widows?" Sam asked.

"They do." You paused "I was there because I'm a trans guy. That's part of the reason I was so desperate to leave."

Everyone was staring at you, understandably.

Natasha was still looking at your widowbites. She didn't know what to think. Her mind going a million miles an hour.

"He's telling the truth." Wanda said. "I accidentally saw into his mind."

You gave her a thankful nod.

"Did you leave with anyone?" Steve asked.

You looked down. "No. I-I had people I would have liked to go with but I didn't even know if they were alive."

"Friends?"

"Sestry."

(Sisters)

Natasha looked up at you. She remembered when she left Yelena behind, and saw you felt just as guilty about it as her.

"What were they like?" Sam asked softly, smiling at you.

You smiled, and started to play with your necklace without realizing.

"They were amazing. We weren't together as long as we wanted to be but we had a lot of fun. They were both goofy. One more than the other." You smiled reminiscing. "They made me feel like I could be myself for the first time in my life. I could be masculine there with them."

Some were smiling sadly, others with siblings felt your pain and smiled thinking about their siblings.

"Siblings bring the best out of us." Wanda said. "My brother Peitro is so annoying at times but he brings out the best in me, more than anyone else. I think once he gets back he'll love you."

You smiled and without thinking looked at Natasha. Each of you looking at each other, before Tony asked a question. 'Why did he look at me like she did?' Natasha thought. 'There's no way.'

"If you remember their names I can look for them. I'm sure we can find them."

"And if they're still in there?" You asked.

Everyone looked at you surprised, including Natasha.

"Phasmus, we destroyed the Red Room years ago. My sister and our parents."

You looked at her shocked. "W-what? When?"

Natasha sighed, realizing the reason you were running so much. "2016. We released the widows from Dreykov's control with something called red dust. We can get you some if you'd like?"

You were in shock but shakily answered "Y-yeah, I would. Thanks."

You started staring off. You couldn't believe it, 10 years, you were running from them for 10 years after they were destroyed.

"10 years." You muttered "I was running for 10 years I didn't have to." You put your head in your hands, you didn't want to cry but you were close.

"Your sister, and parents, are they ok?" You asked, trying to mask as many emotions as possible.

"Yes. They're all fine. My sister, Yelena, is out trying to find other escaped widows with Kate, another Avenger. They're supposed to be back in a few days."

You held your necklace tightly, with your head down. Thank god. You didn't realize you said it out loud, leaving a very confused Natasha.

She looked at you weird. 'Why is he so concerned? No, there's no way, it can't be.' She thought.

"Hey! Maybe mini Romanoff and mini Hawkeye found your sisters. You could ask them when they get back." Tony said, not catching onto what was happening with you and Nat. In his defense he wasn't the only one who didn't pick up on it.

Natasha looked at Wanda having a telepathic conversation. "Wanda?"

"Yes?"

"It can't be her can it?"

"Your other sister?"

"Yeah."

"I think he is. When I accidentally looked into his mind, I saw you and Yelena."

Once Natasha got over the shock of what might be happening she got up and walked over to you, sitting by you.

"Hey." She said softly, putting a hand on your shoulder.

You looked over at her. "I know it's wrong to ask your deadname so i won't but, are you her?"

Your eyes went wide and that dam was about to break. You smiled at her "Privet sestra."

(Hi sister)

Her eyes went wide. "He's telling the truth Nat." Wanda told her telepathically.

Her eyes started watering before she pulled you into a tight hug, which you reciprocated.

"I thought you were dead." Nat cried.

"I thought you and Lena were dead for a while too."

The others were smiling at you both. Natasha and Yelena always talked about their other sibling, how much they loved them and missed them. So the team was so happy to see you both meet again after all this time.

Clint almost cried too. One of the first things Natasha asked him when they first met was if he heard anything about you or someone fitting your description and was heartbroken when he hadn't.

When you two pulled back you just stared at each other. Natasha holding your face slightly, smiling.

"I guess I should call you rodnoy brat now."

(Brother)

You smiled even more at that. "Yeah."

At that moment Clint got a text from Kate saying her and Yelena were coming back early, and by early I mean they were almost back.

"Uh, hey Nat, Phasmus? Kate and Yelena are coming back early. As in almost here apparently."

"Wait, really?" You said.

He nodded. "Kate just texted me. Guessing she forgot to before."

"Looks like you'll be having a family reunion." Thor said with that big smile of his.

"Would you like us to leave you all?" Steve asked.

You and Nat looked at each other, you nodded and she said "Yeah. That'd be nice."

"Ok. You heard her let's leave them to their family reunion.

"Hey, would you mind Clint staying at least for a little?" She asked you.

"No."

She smiled, thanking you. "Hey Clint? Would you mind staying for a bit?"

"No. Not at all." He said moving to sit closer to you both as everyone else left.

It had been about 15 minutes before the elevator opened and Kate and Yelena came in. God she looked different, but a good different.

You and Nat had wiped your faces so you didn't look like you were both crying.

When they noticed you with Clint and Natasha they were very confused. Yelena stared at you suspicious. You didn't blame her, you'd do the same.

"Uh, Clint? Who's this?" Kate asked very weary of you.

"This is Phasmus. He's new to the team. Fury just introduced us to him today." Clint answered.

Kate walked over a little but by Clint still. "Uh, hi. Phasmus, sir." She said nervously.

You just smirked at her. "Hi."

"So. You have powers?" She asked.

You shook your head slightly. "No. I'm a mercenary. Fury asked me to join the boy scouts and I said yes."

She looked scared and Yelena seemingly instinctively stepped in front of her.

Natasha got up putting her hands on your sister's shoulders. "He's trustworthy, I promise. Sit down."

Both of the women did and Nat sat next to you again. There was a long silence, you and Nat trying to figure out what exactly to say. But hating the silence Kate spoke still nervous.

"So, um. Why are you called Phasmus?"

"As a mercenary I was constantly moving. Never staying in one place for even just a month. My clients and the people they sent me after never saw my face. I was a ghost, and thus the name Phasmus which means ghost in Latin." You told her, trying not to scare her anymore than she already was.

"Oh ok. The name is cool." She stammered.

"Is that where the scar's from? Oh! I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that."She panicked. You just chuckled, she was actually doing you a favor without knowing.

"It's fine. I don't mind telling you." You looked between her and Yelena, than looked at Natasha who nodded at you smiling. Confusing the fuck out of Yelena.

"I got it escaping the Red Room. One bullet grazed my face. And I know they only have girls there, I was there because I'm trans."

Both women were surprised, especially Yelena. She, like Natasha, noticed how you looked like her missing sister, but didn't want to get her hopes up.

"That's why I moved so much. Worried they'd find me and drag me back any minute." Your voice was even and calm but with you staring off and the look of fear in your eyes showed how scared you had been of that.

"Because they wouldn't let you be a man." Kate said softly.

You looked up at her zoning back in. "Yeah. No more T, no top surgery, no nothing. Luckily I got top surgery fairly quick, but I was still worried about it." You sighed.

Yelena spoke this time. "That's understandable. They never did like self expression."

You three chuckled at that. Kate chuckled but didn't really get it. Clint shook his head at her.

"Natasha said you destroyed the Red Room, Yelena." You said.

She nodded. You smiled at her. "Good job. Did you get Dreykov?"

She nodded again, smirking. "Yeah we did. Natasha beat his ass." "But you killed him sestra." Natasha reminded her.

It was just like Ohio. Always crediting each other for whatever accomplishment you did together. "Just like Ohio." You muttered, barely a whisper, but she heard.

"What-what did you say?" Yelena stuttered.

You looked at the ground then back at her. "Just like Ohio."

Her eyes were wider than you thought was humanly possible. "No. No way."

Natasha went and sat by her, holding her hand. "Wanda read his mind. He's telling the truth. And I know you saw the resemblance."

Kate was also surprised but very happy for Yelena. She always talked about you and Natasha, so it was nice to finally meet you. Even if she still thought you were a little scary.

Yelena kept looking between you and Natasha, eyes tearing up before she said, voice shaking. "I didn't want to think you were dead. I always thought I would find you hunting down other widows." She got up and so did you before she damn near knocked you over hugging you.

"You look different."

"So do you Lena."

She pulled back and you put your heads against each other. "Please tell me your new name isn't Phasmus because I might have to kill you then."

You laughed. "No. It's y/n now."

"It fits you."

"Agreed."

You both sat back down, after collecting yourselves. You three all sat by each other,you by Natasha, Kate by Yelena, and Clint by Kate.

"I can't believe I have a brother!" Yelena said excited. "Does this mean we get to go shopping? What's your preferred style?"

You chuckled at her, same old Yelena. "I'd like that."

"Can I come too? Or is this a sibling only thing? Kate asked.

"Of course Kate Bishop. You do have a lot of money."

Kate acted offended. "Is that the only reason you keep me around? And here I thought you loved me." She joked with Yelena.

It was cute, but all you could focus on was the, "I thought you loved me" bit. Your sister had a girlfriend?

"Wait. Are you two dating?" You asked.

Kate instantly looked nervous again, Yelena didn't. "Oh yes. Kate Bishop here and I are together." She beamed.

You smiled. "I'm happy for you both. You're cute together."

"Thanks rodnoy brat."

(Brother)

"Speaking of partners, you remember Wanda?"

"You're dating her?" You asked.

"Yeah."

"You two seemed close. I'm happy for you too, sestra."

(Sister)

You thought for a minute then realized "Damn it, I'm the only single one!" You complained.

Everyone laughed, including you. You never thought you'd find them again but here they are. It's like you all just picked up where you left off. You were together and that's all that mattered to you.

(Might make a part 2 with Melina and Alexi)

Said part 2

#marvel #natasha romanoff x ftm reader #yelena belova x ftm reader #platonic natasha romanoff x reader #platonic yelena belova x reader #platonic fic #marvel fanfiction #ftm reader #trans male reader

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ichayalovesyou · 2 years

Note

A Pike x reader request: Captain Pike catches an ensign (the reader) red handed in the middle of their Enterprise Bingo - author's choice how Pike reacts!

Now THAT sounds fun! Let’s a go 😎

Yellow Jacket Blues (Platonic Pike x Reader)

Rating: PG-13 (language)

Word Count: 877

Content: SFW, platonic, shenanigans, GN!Reader, Sciences!Reader, Ensign!Reader, Dad Mode!Pike (derogatory), Bingo Trauma

Teaser: The most dreaded, difficult, and dangerous of all the Enterprise Bingo tasks was upon you, but you HAD to do it. Welcome to the greatest Bingo challenge of all, “sit in the Captain’s Chair” good luck!

This was the most dangerous thing you had ever done. The most dangerous thing you would ever do in the history of your Starfleet career even.

More dangerous than an unsanctioned space walk.

More dangerous than a stun duel.

This, was the Captain’s Chair.

Every single Ensign in your department warned you about it. Some had chickened out and not completed the bingo chart, or given up on completing it afterward. Those who had gotten caught had a haunted look in their eyes when they spoke.

You do NOT want to be caught in Captain Christopher Pike’s chair on the bridge. They say part of you will never ever leave. That no matter when you decided to try it, he would be there. He would catch you.

It was strange, the Captain seemed amicable enough, certainly not egotistical. He raised his voice less than most of your superior officers, which you supposed was almost everyone. But the point still stood.

What made sitting in Pike’s chair such an ordeal?

What did he do that had scarred so many an Ensign over the years?

If you were careful, maybe you would never find out.

You had a plan

1. Make sure it was a very slow voyage so that the Bridge has the lightest compliment possible.

2. Triple check the duty roster

3. Make sure the Captain going to be elsewhere (without being weird DO NOT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT)

4. Check the roster again just to be sure

5. Sneak in during the Alpha-Delta shift change shuffle. Specifically when Senior Staff gets swapped over.

6. Swallow your fear, and possibly your dignity.

7. Cop a squat for the minimum five seconds required for the Bingo to be valid.

8. Get out before everyone even finishes taking their seats

9. Swipe the footage, upload it to your Bingo data pad, which will be completely wiped of all evidence upon list completion as is tradition.

10. Mission success!

The execution would have been absolutely flawless, had the Captain not left a stray data pad on the bridge halfway through step three.

“Number One I almost forgot to mention-oh” the Captain caught sight of you immediately, your ass hovering just above the cushion of The Chair, he crossed his arms and started to laugh.

“Ortegas, how much time do we got before we arrive at Starbase 6?”

“Hours, sir.” She replied with a mischievous grin that you could only describe as ‘oh kid, you are a bout to Get It.’

“Congratulations Ensign Y/N, you just signed up for the Command Track!”

Oh gods, oh no, oh gods no.

No no no no no no.

You were in sciences and ONLY for the science didn’t he see the blue? S-C-I-E-N-C-E-S not Command! Nope! N O P E!

You thought you’d made it abundantly clear you weren’t ambitious. You just wanted to get your damn work done and zip around though space oh no oh no oH nO.

It was time to leave, as in right now, you were leaving now.

“Oh by all means Ensign stay in your seat, or really, my seat but we’ll get into that later. Bridge crew’s heard all this before, and believe me, they’ll be paying attention to see if you are paying attention.” the Captain smirked, leaning on the banister.

So one of the worst moments of your life began.

If he hadn’t been quizzing you every fifteen minutes or so on what he’d just said, you could have just zoned out.

But he could not even spare you that suffering.

Two hours of describing how to climb and navigate Starfleet’s command ranks in excruciating detail, confusing food metaphors, and side anecdotes about horses later. The Captain finally picks up the data pad he left behind.

If your brain wasn’t leaking out of your ears, you might have wondered if the data pad being left behind had been a ruse. That you had somehow been found out and deliberately doomed to this failure as some cruel trick of this accursed and unforgiving universe.

“So, in conclusion Ensign Y/N, don’t sit in the Captain’s chair unless you mean it, especially when it’s mine.”

“Permission to leave sir?” you replied, numbly.

He feigned the act of thinking about it, or at least you hoped he was.

“… Eh, sure. Why not?”

“Thank you sir.” You stood up, and meandered toward the turbolift.

“Hope the bingo was worth it.” someone said quickly under their breath.

That could NOT have been the Captain. Right? Right?!

… Could it?

“Sir?” you turned around, cautious that any questions might trigger another long winded dissertation.

“What? Go. I’m sure your superior officer is gonna have a problem with you if you stick around much longer.”

As you entered the lift, you heard the beginnings of chatter between the command duo.

“I don’t think you’re doing much to bolster command track applicants with that speech Chris.” Una remarked amusedly.

“Hey, the good ones always come back looking for more. It’s determination. You don’t want Captains who aren’t willing to listen.”

Well, you could tell him one thing you-

…

You… didn’t really actually know if you would be coming back or not.

Were you?

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