#adhd jaskier
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Well planned miscalculations
There, another story hidden in the depths of my wip archive! This time from November something! Thank you beloved Ebs for beta reading, you are a gem!
please enjoy! <3
On Ao3 here
"Jaskier, Hocus Pocus doesn't count as a scary movie."
"Geralt," Jaskier says, matching his tone, looking down his nose for good measure. "They eat children. They are witches. I was terrified. It counts."
With a sigh and a shake of his head, Geralt leans on the arm rest on the couch, while Jaskier sits curled up in the other corner.
"So what makes you think you can deal with Paranormal Activity?" he questions, looking so completely unimpressed Jaskier can't help but feel a little offended.
"I got you? And it's not real! Right? I can tell the difference between a movie and reality, I'm not a child- stop giving me that look, I am a man grown! Ish! Grown enough, shut up, I'm almost as tall as you."
"I literally said nothing," Geralt huffs, not even trying to hide is smile, but gives in and settles back more comfortably as he starts the movie. "Do you have your pillow, mister Man Grown?"
"Locked and loaded." Jaskier beams, opting to ignore whatever Geralt is insinuating, but with his Protection Pillow firmly set in his lap.
To exactly nobody's surprise, the movie is scarier than Hocus fucking Pocus.
It takes minutes for Jaskier to realize that this was a very bad idea. Partially because, you know, watching it is scary. It’s a little bit because he has to walk home, all alone, and also sleep all alone.
He sure as shit is never going to put up security cameras in his house, because if there is something in there except him, he doesn't wanna know. Never. Unless it's a cat. Or Geralt.
Point being, this was a mistake.
He sinks lower and lower into the couch, hiding behind the pillow. It brings up some logistic struggles, because he can't have his feet on the floor or a monster will be able to grab his feet from underneath the couch. Mister Man Grown knows how this works.
Eventually, Jaskier realizes he has been ignoring the obvious.
Geralt is just the right size to hide behind—against—to hide him! He has yet to work out the details on exactly how, but the increasingly creepy sounds from the tv makes Jaskier keep his eyes trained on his best friend in this entire world (as if that is unusual for him) to figure out a way of action.
After some serious thinking, planning and risk calculation under the span of about three seconds, Jaskier decides that the solution is to be discreet. Geralt is already mocking him for being (reasonably!) scared of witches, there is no way he will get away with hiding behind him as well.
Jaskier turns his head towards the tv, but makes sure to keep his pillow strategically placed to cover his plan. Perfect. Step two is to become a dangly little worm, a stealthy little sneak, and squirm sideways to get close enough to take refuge behind Geralt's shoulder.
Flawless plan.
Excellently executed as well, if he may say so himself. Geralt only gives him a side glance once (or twice), and thus it is a win.
There is a lull in the movie, some plot being all relevant and stuff, and Jaskier takes the opportunity to straighten up a little, to get more comfortable. It just so happens that their shoulders touch now, and Jaskier wedging his own shoulder between Geralt and the couch is just a mere coincidence.
Perfection.
Until Geralt turns towards him with a smirk and yet another shake of his head. How dare he look so attractive when he does that? Terrible.
"Scared already? It has barely started," he teases, and ah well.
"Just being prepared." Jaskier sniffs, and to prove his point he wraps his arms around Geralt's, like his arm is just a well shaped teddy bear. A very comfortable one.
The problem with this plan, however, is how very nicely Geralt smells. And how very warm and comforting it is to press against his side. And how awkwardly placed Geralt's hand is right now, since Jaskier has pulled up his knees too to create yet another barrier between him and the terrible things on the tv.
The problem solves itself, though, by Geralt simply putting a hand on one of Jaskier's knees. It then creates another problem entirely, because with Geralt causally just touching him like this makes Jaskier's hands all clammy and his heart all jittery. A kind of clashing contrast to the feelings he's getting from the movie.
Time ticks by, and Jaskier finds himself sinking deeper and deeper into the couch, pressing his cheek to Geralt's arm when he dares look, and his entire face when he does not. It seems Geralt is taking some pity on him, leaning back against him, his thumb rubbing against his knee soothingly (and distractingly) every now and then.
When the movie is finally over, it is already past midnight, and it is too late for another, kinder one.
They sit in silence for a while after the end credits start rolling, still pressed together.
"I guess it's time for me to head home," Jaskier ventures, but makes absolutely no move to get up yet.
"Just stay," Geralt suggests gently, and Jaskier's head whips around to stare at him. "We both know you are going to call me the moment you step outside my door anyway, and be scared to fall asleep-"
"-Hey!"
Geralt gives him the 'tell me I'm wrong' look that he has perfected throughout his years at Jaskier's side, and continues as if Jaskier never opened his mouth.
"-so, you might as well stay. You still have a toothbrush here since last time."
Everything he has said is true. Jaskier opens and closes his mouth a few times to retort, but he really doesn't have anything. Truth be told, he actually does want to stay. Geralt's bed is big enough for both of them, and having him there next to him is a sure recipe to keep nightmares away.
After teeth are brushed and t-shirts borrowed, they tuck into bed.
Jaskier is quick to pick his feet up from the floor, a shiver running down his spine even for that brief unprotected moment between the wardrobe and climbing up. It is silly, he knows, but he can't help it.
Geralt doesn't seem to notice, or at least to care, and climbs in next to him, on the right side.
They turn the lights off, and wait for sleep to claim them.
Only, Jaskier can't stop tossing and turning.
He swears every sound of this entire fucking building is out to get him, and if he doesn't keep his eyes firmly shut, he vow under oath that he can see a reflection of eyes across the room. Which is blatantly untrue, not only because there really is no one there, but because the room itself is pitch black.
After a few minutes, Geralt gets tired of his moving about. He turns on his other side and pulls Jaskier close against his chest, holding him tight.
Jaskier was not expecting this, not at all, and he lies there blinking, heart racing and arms stuck between their chests.
"Better?" Geralt grumbles, shifting to get a little more comfortable.
Jaskier wriggles some more, until his arms are free enough to wrap around Geralt's chest, and he can tuck his forehead under Geralt's chin, then he sighs contentedly.
"Much. My brave, strong hero." He can feel Geralt draw a breath, his arms tightening around his back and shoulders, which is a little curious.
"Sleep," his friend grumbles, tucking his nose into Jaskier's hair. "And no more scary movies for you."
"You'd miss the excuse for cuddles," Jaskier shoots back, sleep drawing him in now that he is being held so securely.
"I would," Geralt whispers, so quietly Jaskier barely catches it.
Sleep takes some time to come, but while he was protected so fiercely, despite the night doing its damndest to scare him, Jaskier finds there is little else on his mind than his friend, wrapped around him.
#geraskier#the witcher#modern au#watching scary movies as an excuse to cuddle#mayhaps#geralt x jaskier#dapanda writes#cuddling#one day they will just cuddle without excuses#today is not this day#adhd jaskier#possibly
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JASKIER IS BI CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I'm being late to a final exam just to post this 😭😭😭#there's no way I'll be able to focus now#i knew i shouldn't have let myself ran out of adhd meds....#BI!JASKIER!!!!!#prince radovid#news#the witcher#s3#jaskier#julian alfred pankratz#dandelion#the witcher netflix#bisexual#jaskier x radovid#what's the ship name gonna be?#radskier#?#sounds funny lol#twn#joey batey#lauren hirsch
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Falling Away With You by Muse has always been a very Geraskier song to me. And the new demo version just strengthens that association.
It screams Jaskier pining for Geralt. I like to imagine that in the world of The Witcher, he wrote it. It’s full of so much pain, fully encapsulating a love that is so strong it’s killing you and yet you can’t stop for the life of you.
But the new demo is perfect. It’s acoustic, and there are no lyrics besides humming and “ooh”ing here and there. It’s in progress. Listening to it feels like you’re walking in on a private moment you shouldn’t be listening to. It changes and shifts as Matt is recording. As a songwriter, I can practically hear him thinking “Well what about this? No, that’s not right. How about this? Oh, yes, I like this.”
So picture this with me:
Imagine Geralt and Jaskier sitting at their camp. It’s their first day back together after one of their little few month breaks. Imagine Geralt sitting on a rock, cleaning his sword from a day’s work. Imagine the campfire crackling, the crickets chirping. Imagine a 28-year-old Jaskier has his notebook and lute out. Geralt likes to hear him play as they wind down for the night, and Jaskier… well Jaskier has been hyperfixating on a song he’s been working on while he and Geralt were apart. He has the lyrics done, but the tune isn’t quite there yet.
The songwriter’s hands itch to play this new one that’s still in progress. It’s like resisting a pull, but this one isn’t one he wants to write in front of Geralt. No, he can’t. But the hyperfixation is too strong, and he moves to pluck the riff as he tries to play other things. Things he knows Geralt likes—
“Play the new one.”
Well fuck.
“It’s uh… a work in progress.”
“I like it. Keep going.”
He can’t say no to Geralt.
“There aren’t any lyrics yet,” he lies.
“That’s fine.”
So he plays the new one. And it sounds something like this: (lyrics for the og are under the cut)
youtube
I can't remember when it was good
Moments of happiness elude
Maybe I just misunderstood
All of the love we left behind
Watching our flash backs intertwine
Memories I will never find
So I’ll love whatever you become
Forget the reckless things we’ve done
I think our lives have just begun
I think our lives have just begun
And I'll feel my world crumbling down
Feel my life crumbling now
Feel my soul crumbling away
Falling away
Falling away with you
Staying awake to chase a dream
Tasting the air you're breathing in
I hope I won't forgot a thing
Promise to hold you close and pray
Watching our fantasies decay
Nothing will ever stay the same
And all of the love we threw away
And all of the hopes we've cherished fade
Making the same mistakes again
Making the same mistakes again
And I'll feel my world crumbling down
Feel my life crumbling now
Feel my soul crumbling away
And falling away
Falling away with you
All of the love we left behind
Watching our flash backs intertwine
Memories I will never find
Memories I will never find
#geraskier#geralt x jaskier#geraskier headcanons#the witcher#jaskier#geralt of rivia#geralt#the witcher headcanon#jaskier has adhd
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HOLD THE FRICK FRACKIN PHONE
DOTH MINE EYES DECEIVE ME
OR IS BEAR! JASKIER'S DAD TRANS?????
(Homie you got me so hyped I hope I'm not just being dumb)
[PREVIOUS] - You are absolutely right! He is!! Also I think for Jaskier his Dad is just his Dad - it takes him a while...
#bear!jaskier#jaskier#geralt of rivia#witcher!Jaskier#the witcher#listen Jaskier doesn't care at all his parents are his parents#but from the man who forgets sometimes that he's a witcher??#it takes him a while to go 'huh'#bear!jaskier is the true adhd king of them all#also you just gotta have soup sometimes that is so good that your enlightened for a second
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Please join me, as we all take a moment to appreciate that The Witcher Season 3's soundtrack has a track that's actually called...
#Radovid#Jaskier#Radskier#The Witcher#My Posts#He's a Spoon#I can only imagine someone that doesn't watch the show taking a look at the titles...#Coming across a track called “He's a Spoon”#And wondering what the fuck is actually going on in that show...#There's a character named Jaskier...#He probably has ADHD...#And his brain keeps making weird associations...#That's all you really need to know really!#“He's a Spoon” makes perfect sense within context!#It's actually quite a brilliant analogy when you think about it!#And in the French version#He's a little spoon I feel like it must be said!#For reasons!
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Their ADHD/Autism dynamic has me bewitched body and soul.
#dinluke#superbat#geraskier#probably more but these are my main bois#the adhd and autism couple vibes incredible#luke Skywalker#din djarin#jaskier#geralt of rivia#clark kent#(super speed and flight with adhd hell yeah his Stimming is next level)#bruce wayne
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I... kinda am obsessed with Radskier rn. so I downloaded a video editing app and made an edit. Radovid is a certified Jaskier fanboy and that's completely valid. I also broke my own heart once again with the end.
#radskier#radovid#jaskier#song of the seven#there might be more to come#idk stay tuned what my adhd decideds#the witcher spoilers#the witcher s03 vol2#the witcher s03#the witcher
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Heyyy! I don’t know how many of you remember me or this fic, wherein Geralt is cursed to hear Jaskier’s thoughts, Jaskier is Au-dhd and Geralt starts to learn about how Jaskier’s brain works, and also a little about himself along the way.
But if you do remember this fic, you probably also know that I started it in 2021 which was 2 years ago! But, alas, I am back and actually updating it! There have been 3 new chapters since my hiatus and this fic is so close to my heart, getting to discuss autism and adhd in writing in how it looks on different people has been such an amazing experience, made unbelievably better by the number of people saying they relate to Jaskier, or that this fic has helped them realize things about themselves, or be more patient with themselves. It's genuinely an honour to write this fic and hear from you guys, so basically I’m saying that It’s back, and it would mean the world to me if anyone who may have read it before could pick it back up or if you haven’t read it, maybe give it a shot?
I swear I’m finishing it this time!
#oh no lute is writing#fanfiction#inside out#jaskier#geralt#geraskier#geraskier fanfiction#geralt of rivia#jaskier the bard#geralt x dandelion#autism#adhd#audhd#autistic jaskier#fanfic#ff author#please read#ao3 link
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Write a new fic... must make a banner!
We’ve all read the stories where Jaskier collects Witchers, well my friends this is where the Companions of Witcher’s Collect Jaskier.
OR
The one where Roach loves her noisy-foal and so do the others.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/44239222
#roach loves jaskier#Roach is a darling#the witcher#jaskier is a disney princess#jaskier dandelion#non-human jaskier#Unicorn Roach#Look i get bored#ADHD is my downfall
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Jaskier has to be ND
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Bring a friend home
Hello there! I honestly don't remember what the exact prompt was, but @firefly-party insisted on Jaskel something something Ikea, and thus, here we are!
It was one of those eves I'm convinced I'm hilarious, lets see if you agree xD
Please enjoy this silly madness!
On Ao3 here
See, there is thinking outside the box, and there is thinking outside the box. Then there is IKEA. Ikea is the kingdom of DIY and flat boxes. There is nothing you can’t do with a poor man’s budget and imagination, just ask youtube.
Which is why Jaskier finds himself getting lost by the couch section, and then again by the kitchen tables, and then there were the pretty lights and the cool shoe racks. HIs favorite was hot pink, in case anyone was wondering.
Oddly enough, Jaskier’s goal is the kid’s section.
He knows they are supposed to be at the end of the lap, and learned the hard way that short cuts really is just short for really-fucking-lost-where-was-that-blasted-map.
All he needs is the huge roll of drawing paper, and he means the HUGE one. It is heavy as shit, and well, maybe he should have brought something to carry it with, but that was future Jaskier’s problem, and now present Jaskier is cursing past Jaskier for getting distracted by the funky looking bed set.
It will be fine, probably, if he can make it to the downstairs area there should be those heavy duty baskets.
Jaskier is contemplating if he should buy the low budget pens as well, wondering if his niece and their Infinity Art Project will be worthy tools, when something catches his eye.
There, by the exit, there are giant plushy baskets.
See, Jaskier is not a big fan of plushies, not really. They lack the warmth and the weight a person would have, but they are also much, much less dramatic than a person, probably.
And there, between the orangutan and the giant panda, there it is.
It is blue and white, and has just the one row of teeth, which his niece would have plenty of words about if she was with him.
It is soft and it’s silly and it’s silly and it's perfect, and Jaskier possibly said that out loud because there is one of those yellow striped shirts with the blue print turning around, and it takes him a moment to look up from that unfairly well shaped chest and into the face of a giant.
Which he also might have said out loud, if the twitch of the giant’s lips is anything to go by.
“Hej,” The man greets, of course he does, as if Jaskier speaks Ikea. “Anything I can do for you today?”
His name tag says Eskel, and it takes a WILD amount of willpower to not blurt out ‘How about me?’ and instead just stand there gaping for a moment, clutching his huge roll of paper.
“Your shark only has one set of teeth,” Jaskier says after one heartbeat too long, Eskel’s eyebrows lifting with the corner of his mouth.
“Well, I hear teeth make them harder to cuddle, and frankly, I myself find too many teeth a bit concerning. Tried to bring it up with the design team, but turns out I’m not very good at swedish,” the giant says, and Jaskier is feeling weak.
Actually yes, the paper roll is getting too heavy to hold the way he is, so he shifts, considering whether to either put it on the floor or between his knees, because that clearly is the right way to hold a giant huge fucking paper roll.
“Bitemarks are hot though,” Jaskier says before he can shove his entire fist in his mouth, which also would have been an unfortunate thing to do in front of this man. “I’ll just-” Jaskier says, turning on his heels to flee, only to walk almost straight into one of the display shelves.
He is saved by a big hand on his shoulder, and then not saved when Jaskier proceeds to drop the monster of a paper roll an inch from his toes.
The thud of the paper landing on the concrete floor makes Jaskier just close his eyes and accept his doom, because there is no way paper nor floor survived that.
“Ah, let me get that for you,” Eskel says, and when Jaskier opens his eyes again, the giant yellow striped man is kneeling in front of him, picking up the paper roll like it weighs nothing to him. It probably doesn’t.
Jaskier is wondering if Eskel would be able to pick him up as easily, and firmly shuts that down.
“Where to? Do you have a basket or a shopping cart?” he asks, and Jaskier is an embarrassed, shamed, blushing puddle on the floor.
“Ah, I was just… going to get that and get to the registers.”
Eskel nods sagely, and nods towards the shark plushies.
“Go give them a squeeze. You just might find a cuddly friend to bring home,” he says, and Jaskier…cannot.
Either this man is as dense as a brick and doesn’t realize what that sounds like, or he does.
Either way, Jaskier does walk over to the shark cage, the iron bars of the plushie basket holding an unholy amount of soft and silly and perfect bodies with staring eyes and too few teeth. BLÅHAJ, he reads, completely unable to pronounce it, but bewitched anyway.
He squeeze one, as instructed, and then the next. But the way the first one is looking at him, as if betrayed, Jaskier can’t help but to pick it up and hold it as he squeezes the others.
It is very nice to hold it actually, and Jaskier realizes he is indeed leaving here with a shark, and he is mentally preparing himself for the berating his niece will get him when they are introduced.
Finnigan. That is his name now. And he knows he will be berated even more when the niece finds the pun in there.
Turning around, Jaskier is surprised to see the employee is still watching him, and still holding that huge, now slightly dented paper roll for their Infinity Art Project.
“You are a good salesman, I’ll give you that,” Jaskier says, wagging his finger at Eskel.
“I’ll help you down the stairs with this, your hands look rather busy,” the giant says good naturedly. “If you don’t have more to pick up from here, that is,” He adds, stopping himself halfway to the stairs.
Lovely, simply lovely, and the way the scar stretches when he smiles, Jaskier squeezes poor Finnigan very hard to his chest. Good thing he isn’t a squeak toy, or this would have been very awkward.
“No, I’m done, thank you. But I can take it myself.”
“It’s alright,” Eskel waves him off with one hand, WITH ONE HAND, SIR!
It is simply unfair how some people just are like that, it is almost insulting how one person can be this kind and handsome and strong at the same time.
It is probably illegal somewhere, and Eskel will be put in handsome-jail if he ever goes there. Fuck, Jaskier needs a coffee and to shut his brain the fuck up.
They walk together down the stairs, but then Eskel just follows him and refuses to let the giant huge fucking paper roll down. Jaskier explains the Infinite Art Project and Eskel makes a contribution with a handful of those hand sized miniature pencils from one of the dispensers and winks as he tucks them into Jaskier’s bag. Well fuck.
Their time is up when Jaskier actually arrives by the registers and is forced to choose which line is the shortest and which one will offer him more time with this hunk of a human.
“When can we expect the art exhibition to begin? Any chance one can get an invite, considering how I am contributing?” Eskel asks, and oh boy, yeah, that man probably knows what he is doing.
Jaskier feels himself giving a crooked smile and pretends to consider it.
“For the meager price of One Cinnamon Bun, I might even let you in on the process itself,” Jaskier dares, heart racing and hands sweating. Poor Finnigan, they haven’t even left the store yet, and he is already on cuddle duty.
“A man should know his worth,” Eskel agrees with a nod. “You got yourself a bargain. Though I will add in a chosen beverage to go with it, in about fifteen minutes when my shift is over?”
Oh dear lord, Jaskier is going to combust on the spot.
They part ways, allowing Jaskier to dump his stuff in his shabby little car and to run into the bathrooms and check out his hair, only to meet up again by the Bistro outside the register area.
If Jaskier felt weak from seeing this man in yellow and blue stripes, it has nothing on him compared to Eskel in civilian clothes.
Eskel is enlightened about the arts of a 7 year old, and Jaskier brings home two cuddly friends from Ikea that day.
#the witcher#jaskel#jaskier x eskel#look i am not the one choosing prompts#well ok i kinda am#but still#modern au#ikea shark#meet cute#jaskier has adhd#eskel is good at flirting#or is he?#dapanda writes
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Anyone else tempted to try this? 🤣
(Note: Before you ask, yes I do have 91 tabs open. I have ADHD. If I close them, they're gone forever! 😅)
#joey batey#madeleine hyland#amazing devil#jaskier#the Witcher#drinkify#random#drink up me hearties yo ho#the witcher#witcher#wiedzmin#this is either tasty or horrific#adhd#adhd brain#open tabs
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My baby girls: little shits with undiagnosed adhd (frequently because they predate the diagnosis)
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[MASTERPOST]
I can't find it anymore, but this is a prompt fill! I think (and I'm in the bad memory gang, so don't be too sure) it was about doing schoolwork / learning stuff and it might have been about baby!ciri? But anyways! Ciri tried and tried and still failed her test. Jaskier has all the tipps and tricks because he did the homework with Lambert from ages 7-12.
#onlyfans!jaskier#I'm pretty sure Jaskier has adhd in this 'verse and Lambert probably something close to dyslexia#jaskier#geralt of rivia#ciri#I think Geralt was better at school than Jaskier when it came to math and stuff and - most of things honestly#because Jaskier was way more interested in making music#also I think that Ciri spends lots of her time at geralts and Jaskiers house - they started it when she was small#and Jaskier is still the only one who doesn't work around midday#so he probably cooks and helps Ciri with homework
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Am I the only one that somehow can't get over how confused Jaskier looks whenever Radovid is interacting with his lute?
I once made a post about headcanoning Jaskier as having ADHD, and, one of the many things people with ADHD also have, is a tendency to personify objects and get attached to them (not exactly as much, or in the same way, as human beings, but yeah...).
And I remember Jaskier going "Yeah, she is a bit sexy, isn't she?" in reference to the lute Filivandrel gave him in season 1...
Since the way Radovid's own brain works appear to share a certain similitude to Jaskier's, and object personification is not actually exclusive to ADHD; at times, it feels like the lute becomes its own character.
Because one of the things I've always found kinda funny, in the scene where Radovid catches Jaskier's lute, is that he's totally ignoring Jaskier and Philippa at first, and really just looking at the lute, turning her over, studying her... Like mentally going:
"Hey... Hey there. Now where did you come from? It's okay, you're safe now... Not going to hurt you... I'm Radovid, by the way..."
He only looks up when Philippa breaks his focus and starts talking to him.
And poor Jaskier just basically freezes and stands there while watching Radovid be totally captivated with his "girl"; apparently ignoring that she's already in a "relationship" with someone...
"Okay, so... He's just saved her life... Does this means she's his now, or... Should I ask to get her back?"
Because, to be fair, Jaskier is sort of the reason someone threw her off a balcony and she was endangered in the first place! She wouldn't even be "existing" anymore, if not for Radovid.
So what's the protocol in these situations? "Catcher's keeper"? Is she his lute now?
At least, Radovid's being very gentle with her and seems to like her... Might be less uncomfortable if his damn lute didn't look like she liked him back...
"Wait. What's fortunate? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh no, you're hot. She's hot. You and my lute look hot together and it's all very hot. Things are usually hot, but not that hot. Fuck. I mean me, preferably. Fuck me."
Later, when Jaskier keeps saying that he's not in the mood for singing... Radovid just goes:
"Here. Help me out please, would you? He's being really stubborn about this. So, maybe you could help me convince him?"
And poor Jaskier realizes his lute is actually on the prince's side... Plus, she basically just took an arrow for him a few days ago, so it's not like he can just say "no" to her after that, right?
"Alright, fine! You win, you traitor! We'll play for him, if you insist. But we'll be so talking about this later... *Sigh* You're really lucky he's cute..."
"Stupid dumb sexy lutes and stupid dumb sexy princes... Joining forces together, determined to ruin my life..."
"Yeah, I know, I started playing while strolling in first because I was totally counting on him taking the opportunity to check out my arse. Don't judge me! I'll have you know it's a perfectly fine arse, and if I'm going to be uncomfortably aroused during that performance, so shall he!"
Of course, Radovid asks for one more song, providing Jaskier with a rather unique opportunity to make a genuine connection, while also leaving himself "a way out" (i.e. pretending the song wasn't specifically meant to be about him, but he was simply singing about "universal matters" of love and intimacy, you know?) should Radovid fail to respond.
"Yeah, I think you're right... I think, deep down, he does like me as more than 'just a fan', too. The prince might be more likely to take a risk at being honest with us if I show him I'm not just 'playing games' with him first... It's worth a shot, at least."
And respond, Radovid does...
"Well, fuck my life, then... I'll just have to ensure my brother keeps Ciri safe with us like I promised, try to show Dijkstra there are better ways to get shit done than constantly seeking to control and use people, find a way to protect Jaskier and his family from - well, pretty much everyone at this point! - and make things work between us... *Sigh* Stupid dumb sexy bards playing their stupid dumb sexy lutes... Again, why did I ask for this?"
Then, when Radovid decides to properly attempt to woo our bard, he reaches, once again, for Jaskier's lute. And, at first, Jaskier's definitely not too sure about this...
"Okay, fine. You can hold her. But seriously, though, what is it between you two? Should I start being jealous? Is she the best thing you've met - thanks to this whole mess - or am I? It's all getting quite a bit confusing!"
The moment Radovid has the lute in hands, he's once again really focusing on her, like:
"Look, I'm going to be honest with you... My playing is not very good, but it does come from the heart... So, I'm hoping you'll help me sound okay... I swear, I'm being sincere and I really, really like him... Please don't let me mess this up..."
Meanwhile, Jaskier is just looking so adorably intrigued, while watching Radovid get settled to play...
"What are you...? Wow. Okay... so you really do know how to hold her, then? Firm and secure, but not too rough... Nice form... Didn't expect things to get so intimate between you two so fast... Are you... actually planning to letting me watch whilst your caress her strings? Not that I'm complaining, but..."
And Radovid is just trying to be really brave about this...
"Alright, we've got this... I trust you. Just, don't let me down... I really appreciate the help, by the way... Did I mention it's the first time I do anything like this for anyone?"
And the moment he starts playing, poor Jaskier looks like his legs are just about to give up on him...
"Oh Gods.... That's just... the most erotic thing I've ever heard and seen in my life... I swear, if he keeps going much longer, that stupid dumb sexy prince with his stupid fluffy hair, dumb nimble fingers and deep sexy voice will just end up making me come untouched!"
"That's it! For the record, you can get as close, as fast, and as intimately as you want with my lute as long as I'm allowed to watch and listen. So please... just continue gently strum those strings, firmly wrap your hand around her neck, and hold her safely against your body in a tight embrace as much as you'd like... Actually, can I be a lute, too? I've never wanted to be a musical instrument so badly in my life!"
And poor Radovid is so focused on his actual playing that he never notices the way Jaskier has been looking at him during the entire performance...
He's just still nervously moving his fingers along her neck, shifting his hold, unsure of how well he did...
"So um... Yeah... Once again, thanks for the help... Whatever happens, just so you know, you were perfect. I just wish I was a better player..."
Meanwhile, Jaskier is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the prince not only learned his song after having listened to him perform it only once, but genuinely looks like he's got absolutely no idea how affected he is by the whole experience...
"You know, I really think you should play my song again... On me this time..."
Radovid is just looking a bit hopeful there...
"Okay, so... this is good, right? I mean, he doesn't look displeased that I learned his song... I think...."
Totally oblivious to the fact that, thanks to him, Jaskier has suddenly discovered himself a new kink...
"Yeah, you should definitely play me next... I'd love to explore all the sounds you could manage to get out of me if you held me by the neck like like you just did with her, kept my back firmly pressed against your chest, stroked my body, caressed all those strings, and let it all resonate..."
Meanwhile, poor Radovid's going into 'gay panic mode', apologizing for his playing being "shit", with his full attention returning to the lute...
"I'm so sorry I dragged you into this, luv... I didn't mean to embarrass you, I promise... I just thought that maybe we - Wha - umf?!"
Seriously, this moment kills me every time, because you've got Jaskier confidently advancing towards Radovid - like a missile locked on target - and Radovid's just awkwardly standing there, staring at the lute, totally oblivious to what's happening to the point where he manages to be caught off guard by the kiss!
Small detail, but I really like the way that Jaskier's eyes move fom Radovid's forehead when he's gently pulling his hair away from his face, to briefly seeking his gaze, and then his lips... Especially with the way his left hand comes to frame and tenderly hold his face on the other side, too...
There's just so much care and attention that goes into the whole gesture, that it really gives the impression that the kiss is driven by a need to express physical intimacy and sensual attraction first, and sexual passion second.
Actually, there's another moment in that scene that I feel hasn't been praised enough, so I'm just going to take a few seconds to express my appreciation for just how beautiful and perfect it is...
This. This little moment right here...
Where - although they are no longer kissing - Jaskier just continues to hold Radovid close as they breathe together, lips and faces touching, looking so very soft for each other and febrile...
Just the way their shoulders suddenly relax together on that deeper exhale (it's most obvious on Jaskier's side, but if you pay close attention, Radovid has the same physical response...), with such a sense of togetherness and relief...
They're just so in tune with each other, and it's so gorgeous to watch, and it feels so loving, intimate, and peaceful, and okay I'll have to stop now, else all I'll be doing for the next 15 minutes is talking about all the tiny details of this freaking kiss (well, technically it's two kisses, with one of the most gorgeous moments of physical intimacy I've ever seen depicted on screen sandwiched in between them...)...
But yeah! Let's get back on track!
Somehow, Radovid manages to be caught off guard by the kiss, initially just going very stiff and freezing a bit before relaxing into it..
And if Radovid is so concerned about his lute playing skills, well...
"How are you even real? I swear..."
So, basically, what I'm saying is that Jaskier's lute is essentially the ultimate "wingwoman" in season 3, and that, from the very moment Radovid caught her, she totally decided that she would get these two together!
#Jaskier#Radovid#Radskier#The Witcher#Jaskier's lute#Headcanons#Of the slightly crack variety#My Posts#My Thoughts#My Stuff#ADHD#Adult ADHD#I'm still not sure how my own brain works at times!
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headcanons for dandelion (julian)'s backstory + meeting countess de stael
credit to @toussaintred for countess de stael headcanons :)
julian was a son of noble birth - an only son, as after his mother gave birth to him, she was unable to have other children. his father died when he was young, and thus throughout his childhood his mother placed undue pressure on him to grow up and fill his father's shoes, expecting him to be able to fulfill a political role which required a lot of serious matters, paperwork, and sitting in one place for a long time.
but julian was an artistic soul and these kinds of work and expectations of him were tortuous, for both him and those around him. his teachers and tutors constantly claimed that he had great potential, but just lacked discipline.
to their frustration, this boy seemed to be a kind of savant. he was able to memorize long passages of literature even their masters could not, he could identify and describe noble escutcheons and coats of arms from the buina to the jaruga, and he could even reckon geographic distance and tally days without the use of an abacus. in spite of these so-seemed natural talents, he earned the reputation of a lazy and unapplied student, as he was fond of daydreaming, slacking off, and insolently joking with his tutors. in class, he would stretch in his chair and sigh, and out of class, he would leave studies for the last moments before due.
in julian's point of view, the family grounds and court were stifling. when not pacing around them, he would climb the rooftops of the castle in an attempt to get to the highest vantage point just for a chance to see beyond the misty horizon. it was also here that he was able to evade the demands of his mother and various pedagogues, who were determined to keep him to a schedule.
he was taught music from an early age, as was befitting of a child of high birth to be well-educated and knowledgable of the creative arts. (change next sentences depending on your interpretation of dandelion's birth sex) much to his mother's disappointment, he was not interested in the other activities befitting a nobleman, and when it came to education in swordplay, he was fond of intentionally dropping his sword when sparring, or hiding in the grass when it came time for lessons. | he was educated in poetry and rhyming schemes, but often argued that a stuffy alcove was no place to learn and demanded that they sit in the gardens. to the exasperation of his tutors, this often ended in his escape when he grew bored.
at this time, he did not take it too seriously. partially because of his disdain for his mother's expectations of him, julian was not concerned with much. confronted with a perceived lifetime of desk work and political ambassadorship ahead of him, he aspired to little beyond next morning's breakfast and trying to gain the attention of the girls around the estate. it seemed a futile attempt to try to prolong youth as far as he could, as he dreaded the boredom and monotony of adulthood. best to enjoy the charming spring flower meadows and company of giggling girls now, he supposed.
this philosophy of his changed when he met the countess de stael.
she was tall, dark-haired, and graceful - her deep red gown was sumptuously cut with fashionable slashes, and her long hair rustled with every step. a mature woman, not prone to giggling with fervor and blush like the girls julian was used to - her deep throaty laugh and amused smile, accented with dark red lipstick, pleased the ears and eyes.
she contradicted his every expectation of nobility. instead of being reserved, severe, and joyless, blind beyond her own nose and with a permanent grimace attached to her lips, she emanated warmth, pleasure, and worldly charm.
was he in love? perhaps, one befitting of youth. but in his love for her, he found love for himself. for the countess' joie de vivre extended beyond appearances; she was an exceptionally well-travelled, having been received by kings and queens from kovir to rivia. she could play various instruments and knew multiple compositions by heart, along with all of the great works of literature and history. perhaps most curiously, she had never married; only taken a long line of lovers with seemingly no beginning and no end. owing to this, she had never settled in one castle or manor; instead, she toured with her fortune and enjoyed whatever the road had to offer.
it did not take long for julian's curiosity to get the best of him, and he approached the countess in conversation. impulsively, foolishly. but she appreciated his candor. and in a manner somewhat uncharacteristic for the young julian, he did not approach her with base flirtation. he respected her too much. though his cheeks burned when they were near.
he asked her questions. about life, desire, beauty, the world... and poetry, which, of course, encompasses all aforementioned. in many ways, the countess was the first who understood him for who he was. and who he wanted to become. they spent long hours talking. she enjoyed his amusing mannerisms. and his questions were always interesting. she tutored him in poetry, and his curiosity and inspiration grew.
meanwhile, julian's relationship with his mother worsened. he was of an age to attend academy, but had put off the enrollment, always finding (or fabricating) an excuse to push it to the next year. but this year, he was ready. though it wasn't as his mother had hoped.
when he finally commanded the boldness to tell her he was leaving to study poetry, she did not even turn to look at him. he had expected more: a reproachful gaze, a snide smile. when he finally saw her face, it was dull and expressionless. it was as if she had already known his plans for a long time. for once, she did not scold her lazy son's stupidity, denounce his ineptitude, or scoff contemptuously at his insolence. she sighed, walked to her desk, and from a top drawer produced a small, thin document. it had already been prepared.
without hesitation, he left. without hesitation, he signed away his right to his family name. to his coat of arms. to his lands and estates, forests and castles. all which was his by birth was no longer his. by the terms of the agreement, all which was to be his was the tuition to attend oxenfurt. after four years of study, he would never again receive a single penny from his family. and post-graduation, he was not to use his nobly-given name to sign his ballads.
with a stroke of his pen, julian agreed to the terms. legally, he had lost it all. but he felt as if he had gained everything.
he left the countess de stael a poem. his first poem. it was a shoddy work, still untrained and still unperfected, but it did the trick. it told a story of inspiration, muses, love, and beauty. about desire, taste, and experience. about names, identities, and families. it expressed gratitude, farewell, and
he left it open-faced, unfolded, asking to be read. and at the bottom, it was signed:
dandelion.
#the witcher books#dandelion#jaskier#the witcher#finally wrote all this out... it's been years ;u;#i realize this is cringey but i feel like if i dont share it its annoying to try and explain it w/o actually going in depth#also btw dandelion has adhd and the countess de stael is trans if you didn't know#c: dandelion#c: countess de stael#headcanons
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