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avatar-anna · 1 year

Text

Unknown Number

someone made a request about reader accidentally being given harry's number, but i accidentally deleted it, so if you requested it, here it is!

(the text chain will be from harry's point of view)

italics: y/n (unknown number)

bold: harry

Part Two

Part Three

Unknown Number (UN): heyy. i had a really good time the other night. maybe we could do it again sometime? xx (click to download image)

Harry Styles (HS): How did you get this number?

UN: you gave it to me?

UN: last night at the pub? marcus, right?

HS: No. You have the wrong number.

UN: is this a joke? are you fucking with me right now?

HS: No.

UN: oh my god

UN: i feel like such an idiot

UN: one of the first times a guy gives me his number at a bar and he gives me the wrong number

UN: probably on purpose too

UN: i should've known when he left his OWN APARTMENT the next morning but i was actually hopeful

UN: and now i've made an ass of myself here too. sorry to bother you i'll leave you alone. sorry again

(one hour later)

HS: It's okay. Sorry about that guy. Sounds like a jerk.

(twenty minutes later)

UN: it's fine, i guess

UN: i wasn't in love with him or anything but he could've had the decency of expressing his disinterest himself instead of hiding behind a fake number.

HS: That is quite a dick move.

HS: I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting that text. I didn't open the picture either by the way.

UN: thank you. for a moment i was worried i was messaging a creep, but hopefully you're not a creep

UN: i mean you could be still and i'd have no idea

UN: maybe i should stop texting you

(ten minutes later)

HS: I'm not a creep.

UN: that's exactly what a creep would say

HS: I don't really know how to prove it to you. You're the one who sent me a photo of yourself half naked. You could be the creep.

UN: you said you didn't open it!

HS: I was trying to be polite!

UN: great now some 40 year old living in his parents basement has one of my nudes

HS: I'm not 40! And I don't live in my parents basement

UN: you text like an old man

HS: wuld u rather i txt like ths???

UN: no but i'm just saying i don't know many people my age who use proper punctuation in text messages

HS: Well I might not be your age, but I'm certainly not 40

UN: "certainly not." you're right. you sound like my grandpa

HS: I suddenly regret restarting a conversation with you

UN: you know despite the fact that you might be catfishing me, i've enjoyed this. i feel like i'm doing what all the other teen girls did in high school at sleepovers

HS: So you're out of high school.

UN: creep!

HS: You outed yourself, that's not on me.

UN: you...might be right

UN: can you tell me something about yourself to make it even? there's always a possibility that you could be lying and i have no reason to trust you, but...idk i feel like i can

HS: Well that's stupid.

HS: But I suppose since I've already seen you partially naked...

UN: i'm blocking your number

HS: My first name is H, and I'm 20 years old.

UN: h? just the letter h?

HS: You could be a creep too for all I know

UN: fair enough. i'm june

HS: Full name? Wow, you really are a dummy.

UN: don't get your 60 year old panties in a twist. it's a nickname

HS: June is a nickname?

HS: And I'm not 60.

UN: june. june bug. that's what the folks call me

HS: Folks? Now who sounds old?

UN: whatever

(thirty minutes later)

HS: Well, it was nice talking to you, June. June bug.

UN: you too h

(three days later)

June (J): you're a guy right?

HS: I'm sorry?

J: well when i first texted you i thought you were a guy, but you weren't THAT guy, so i have no idea

J: i just assumed but i thought i would ask

J: plus i need solicited guy advice and if you're not a creep i would really appreciate it

HS: We're back to me being a creep?

J: it's a risk every time i text you

J: so? are you a dude?

HS: Yes.

J: great! can i ask you something?

HS: Um...I guess...

J: ok. would you ever get offended if a woman covered their drink during a conversation with you?

HS: I'm not following...

J: like say we're at a bar and we're talking and i turn my head away for some reason but i put my hand over my drink until i look back at you to prevent it from being spiked. would you be offended by that?

HS: No. Why?

J: see? i don't think that's unreasonable. some loser got mad at me for doing that. well EXCUSE ME for not immediately trusting the guy i matched with on tinder

J: who was not as cute in real life i might add

HS: You don't have the best taste in guys.

J: that is not advice!

HS: Okay, here's my advice: don't swipe right on guys who have mirror selfies in their profile.

J: ...

J: ok fair enough but it's not like prince charmings are falling from the sky. it's hard out here

HS: I'm sure.

J: what you don't have the same problem?

HS: I don't really date.

J: in like a douchey way? are you one of those guys who say they just fuck?

HS: I just don't have time for dating, I guess.

J: so no special someone?

HS: No.

(four hours later)

HS: If you asked for advice, does that mean I can too?

(one hour later)

J: sorry i was at work

J: and i don't see why not

HS: What do you think about guys who wear skinny jeans?

J: hm...i think styled right it could be nice

J: YSL is kind of pushing the whole skinny jeans and chelsea boots thing which might eventually trickle down to the losers i match with on tinder so...why not? i say dress how you want

J: any guy who has a good sense of style is sexy to me

J: sorry if that wasn't the answer you were looking for

HS: Yes and no. I've been experimenting with different styles. Sometimes I get a little in my head about it.

J: doesn't everyone?

HS: I guess you're right.

HS: Do you follow fashion shows and things like that?

HS: That's not too personal, is it?

J: no, but it's kind of embarrassing

HS: Not as embarrassing as sending a complete stranger a picture of yourself in your bra

J: harsh...but fair

J: fashion is kind of my religion

J: i'm trying to become a stylist. keyword trying

HS: That's cool!

J: tell that to my family

HS: they don't support you?

J: nope! but i'm gonna do it anyway!

HS: Do you have a favorite designer?

J: it kinda depends on the year and who was creative director at the time, but the first time i got my hands on vintage vivienne westwood i was hooked

J: you?

HS: I'm just starting to explore the fashion world I guess you could say.

J: well lucky for you i happen to be a bit of an encyclopedia when it comes to house codes

HS: House codes?

J: oh boy. i hope you're comfortable. we might be here a while

(two days later)

HS: Have you ever had rumors spread about you?

J: i don't think so

J: oh wait! in eighth grade this girl in my class told everyone i made out with a boy at the school dance which was NOT true

J: it was just a peck

HS: Naughty.

J: it was harmless. why do you ask?

HS: There's a rumor going around about me. It's just frustrating when people actually believe it. sometimes it gets to the point where i start to believe it myself.

J: i'm sorry. i won't pry or anything, but i know what it feels like to not be understood

HS: I just hate the feeling of being under a microscope. It's exhausting. I feel like my life isn't my own sometimes.

J: that sucks

J: sorry that was in no way helpful, but i don't really know what to say. is there someone you can talk to about this?

HS: ...

J: oh! i actually feel kind of honored

J: well, obviously i don't know the whole situation, but maybe try and surround yourself with people who don't scrutinize you so much?

HS: Easier said than done.

J: true but i think if you have a solid group of people who know you and understand you and like you for who you are, it's easier to deal with things like rumors and being under the proverbial microscope, you know?

J: and don't be afraid to get rid of the toxic people in your life! it's not easy but you'll be better off in the long run

HS: sometimes it's hard to tell who's toxic and who's not

J: start with the people who would never believe a rumor about you, or the ones who would never START one about you

HS: Well said, June Bug.

J: thanks! maybe i should entertain a career in counseling

(one month later)

HS: Why June Bug?

J: i was born in the summer. it was a nickname my grandparents gave me. been called that ever since

HS: That's sweet.

J: there are worse nicknames i suppose. i have a cousin that got stuck with chip because he used to stuff his face like a chipmunk when he was little

HS: Yikes.

J: you're telling me

(three weeks later)

J: have you ever danced alone in your bedroom to stevie nicks?

HS: Have you?

J: i have, and can i just say she does NOT get enough credit as a songwriter?

HS: Edge of Seventeen?

J: edge of seventeen

J: i went on a date last week with a guy who had the AUDACITY to call her music mediocre

HS: You didn't see him again did you?

J: ...

HS: June!

J: just once! and only because he had really nice hands

HS: I don't get how that would make you stay with a stevie hater...

J: REALLY nice hands ;)

HS: You disappoint me sometimes.

J: ;))))

(fifteen minutes later)

J: hey you never answered my question about dancing in your room!

HS: ...No comment...

(one week later)

J: you ever been in love, h?

HS: I can't say that I have. Have you?

J: no ://

J: i think i want it too much. i've always just been in love with the idea of falling in love, you know?

J: but the reality isn't what i thought it would be

HS: I'm sorry.

HS: It probably won't help but I'm sure you'll find someone. You seem like a great person. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.

J: aw h you're making me blush!

HS: But perhaps you should stop looking for love on a hookup app

J: annnd good feeling gone

(two weeks later)

HS: Guess who has two thumbs and got invited to Paris Fashion Week!

J: no fair!

J: and that joke doesn't work if i can't see you point to yourself. it doesn't work period

HS: I will let that slide because I know you're just jealous.

J: are you kidding me? OF COURSE i'm jealous! i can't believe you get to see Alessandro Michele's work up close

HS: Who?

J: don't think because we only communicate through text that i can't strangle you

HS: Relax. I'm only joking.

HS: Alessandro is a friend ;))

(ten minutes later)

J: sorry i just had to scream into my pillow

J: what exactly do you do again?

HS: I told you. I work in the industry.

J: but that could mean anything! the cosmetics industry, the movie industry, the meat packing industry...

HS: Meat packing?

J: you know what i mean!

HS: I do a lot of PR.

J: see. that wasn't so hard now was it?

HS: Can I go back to gloating?

J: only if you promise to give me a full report afterwards you go to all the shows

HS: Deal.

(four days later)

HS: Favorite movie?

J: that's hard...

J: it's probably cliche but the devil wears prada

HS: Good choice.

J: what about you?

HS: The Notebook.

J: really?

HS: Yes. Why?

J: do you say that to impress girls or because it's actually your favorite?

HS: Would you rather I have said a film with lots of car chases?

J: no

J: but i went out with a guy who was a film major once

HS: Is that a bad thing?

J: let's just say it won't be happening again

J: he thought he was superior for disliking popular movies. i hate that

HS: Well, I love The Notebook and I love Ryan Gosling

J: now THAT is something we can agree on!

(six weeks later)

J: BIG NEWS

J: LIKE HUGE

J: GROUNDBREAKING

HS: And here I was thinking you forgot about me.

J: i texted you yesterday

HS: You asked me if my dick could move on its own.

J: a legitimate question! i nearly had a heart attack when i saw it in person

J: but i was also weirdly fascinated. my question was purely scientific!

HS: You said you had news?

J: right!

(twenty minutes later)

HS: Are you making me wait to create anticipation?

J: no sorry i got a phone call.

J: i got my first real gig as a stylist

HS: That's great! Congratulations!

J: thanks

HS: You don't sound excited anymore. What happened to all caps?

J: my mother happened

HS: Still not on board, then?

J: she told me it was a waste of time and that i should get a real job

HS: You're still gonna take it though right?

J: i don't know. maybe she's right. the pay is less than ideal. more like i'm being paid in experience, and it's not the clientele i was imagining...

HS: But it's a foot in the door, right? That's something.

J: i guess

HS: Make connections. Get good references. And who knows, you might actually enjoy yourself.

J: you're right.

J: it's for some up and coming band that's going on tour. pretty sure i was what they could afford

HS: Don't sell yourself short. You're gonna do great.

J: thanks. i hardly even know you and you're currently my biggest supporter

HS: What happened to Bill?

J: ancient history

HS: What was wrong with him? He seemed nice.

J: yeah

J: his girlfriend thought so too.

HS: On behalf of all men: Sorry. We truly are the worst.

J: agreed. what about you? still single?

HS: Yes, though people keep trying to set me up on dates.

J: the horror!

HS: Ha ha

HS: I just want to meet someone on my own terms.

J: i get that

J: i just want to meet someone who's actually a decent human being

HS: I'll be on the lookout.

(three weeks later)

J: i think i've decided that tour life is not for me

HS: oh?

J: yeah. sitting on a bus for hours and hours with only myself to keep me company? no thanks

HS: it can't just be you on the bus can it?

J: no but i have a hard time making friends right away. and a lot of the crew for this tour are older than me

HS: are your clients nice at least?

J: yeah. one of them tried to hit on me, which i guess i should take as a compliment, but i am on the clock. no flirting for me

HS: a professional then. or are you not into the musician type?

J: not sure. i haven't dated one before

J: i told you that the other day

HS: right. must've slipped my mind

HS: but back to taste in men. is it all about looks for you or do you like funny guys?

HS: are you the type to sleep with someone on the first date? because i feel like that's very telling about a girl

J: who is this?

HS: what do you mean? it's me

J: it's not. you're not texting like a middle aged woman and you're acting like a total ass

HS: Sorry. I thought I'd try something new. And I was just curious. Can't blame a guy for asking right? You did send some guy you barely knew a picture of yourself

HS: It was very wholesome by the way. Maybe try a little more skin next time and you'll get the response you want. You can practice here if you'd like.

J: oh my god

HS: What?

J: this was a mistake. i'm such an IDIOT

J: was this some kind of prank?

J: whoever you are, you're sick

J: don't text me again

HS: June, I'm so sorry. That was my friend he was just being stupid.

HS: Last time I leave my phone anywhere.

HS: June?

HS: June please.

HS: That wasn't me I swear!

HS: I'm sorry.

(three weeks later)

HS: Day 21 of trying to get you to respond.

HS You probably blocked me which is fine. I don't blame you.

HS: But if you DO happen to read these and are just ignoring me...

HS: I'm sorry. Again. For like the millionth time.

J is typing...

HS: June?

J: i should've blocked you

HS: Why didn't you?

J: because as insane as it sounds, you've become a close friend

HS: I feel the same. I'm really sorry about before. I swear it was one of my mates. I would never say something like that.

J: that's what makes this whole thing crazy! i don't actually know you, so how do i know if i can trust you?

HS: I mean you even noticed that he wasn't texting like me. I would never ask you questions like that, June. I never have.

HS: And I do NOT text like a middle aged woman by the way

J: i guess that's true

J: i think it just doubled down the fact that we don't actually know each other. this whole thing is ridiculous if you think about it too long. it gives me a headache sometimes.

J: i know we've joked about it but...this could be potentially dangerous

HS is typing...

HS: I could send you a voice note.

J: you would do that?

HS: You're right. This whole thing is ridiculous but...I don't know, I trust you, and I consider you a friend.

J: a friend you say?

HS: That's all I'm willing to admit for one day

J: and what about tomorrow?

HS is typing...

HS (voice recording): Maybe tomorrow I'll admit a little more.

(one day later)

Y/n hated how much her stomach flipped every time her phone pinged with a new message.

It was so reckless and dangerous and utterly ridiculous. She didn't know who H was, she didn't even know what time zone he lived in, and yet she felt like she knew him.

And after hearing his deep voice—deep British voice—on the voice recording, Y/n determined that he wasn't some creep in his forties like she'd originally thought.

Since sending that voice recording, they'd sent each other messages like that all night. And by all night she meant all night. They stayed up late sending voice recordings back and forth. It was the longest conversation they'd held to date, which was surprising considering that they often missed each other during certain hours. Just based on what hours of the day they texted the most, Y/n figured H lived somewhere in Europe, which gave her peace of mind considering he couldn't exactly kidnap her if he was a whole ocean away. But the last couple weeks their schedules seemed to be lining up, though Y/n chalked it up to all the traveling she'd been doing lately.

One thing she was certain of was that she adored H's voice. It was soft and deep, but got raspier the longer they spoke. And at times he would whisper in his messages, like he had to keep his voice down. The hushed tones made her shiver.

Y/n didn't call H, and he never offered. But she wanted to, boy did she want to. No matter how terrifying that thought was. A full-fledged phone call seemed more...real to Y/n. With the messages, she and H were still in their little bubble. It was stupid, but she needed that bit of separation. She was becoming attached to someone she'd never met.

Walking through the halls of a stadium in Canada, Y/n pulled up past conversations with H. It was too embarrassing to admit to anyone out loud, but she felt like she really knew him. He was endearing, had a silly sense of humor, had good taste in music, and was honest. Well, as honest as either of them could be. Outside of the one slip up with H's friend, Y/n believed what he said to her over text. Maybe that made her naive, but their conversations were legit. He felt like a friend, and she knew he felt similarly.

Maybe tomorrow I'll admit a little more.

Y/n had no idea what that could mean. She of course knew what she wanted it to mean, but what she wanted rarely ever lined up with reality.

Y/n looked up from her phone to make sure she didn't pass the right door. The one in front of her read, Harry Styles in big bold lettering. She quickly hurried past and continued down the hall to where the dressing room for Five Seconds of Summer was.

Harry Styles was a bit of an enigma. Even though she was on the same tour as him and One Direction, Y/n hardly ever saw him. And when she did, his nose was always in his phone, completely closed off to the world around him. He just had this vibe that said, "don't talk to me," and Y/n received that message loud and clear. The Five Seconds of Summer boys seemed to get on with all the members of One Direction, but Y/n usually made herself scarce whenever they came by the dressing room, for no other reason than too much testosterone in one room.

"You want to come out after the show, Harry?" Y/n heard one of the boys ask. Michael.

"Um...No. I think I'll have to pass tonight, boys. Sorry."

"What? Big date tonight?"

"Something like that."

Y/n felt frozen to the linoleum floor. She knew that voice. She'd spent all night listening to that voice.

"Holy shit."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

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janeaustenbrandysmuggler · 5 months

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The Hitchhiker (you can run...)

Apologies if someone has already pointed this out. I'm new to tumblr, and I'm still digging through all the amazing Good Omens metas!

Shax-in-disguise appearing and reappearing on the side of the road at the very beginning of The Hitchhiker felt really familiar to me, and I finally figured out why. I think we can add a Twilight Zone episode that's (conveniently) called "The Hitch-Hiker"* to the list of film and tv references we get in the season.

*I felt especially dumb when Google told me this episode literally has the same title as s2 ep4. In my defense, I don't know the names of any of the other Twilight Zone episodes I've seen, either.

Not sure you really need a spoiler alert for a 60+ year old tv episode, but I'll put a break in anyway. Go watch it if you can - it's properly creepy.

A brief summary: Nan Adams is on a road trip from Manhattan to Los Angeles. She's gotten as far as Pennsylvania, when her tire blows out and she runs off the road. The mechanic who comes out to put on her spare tire comments on how lucky she is to still be in one piece. (More on that in a minute.) As she follows the mechanic into town for a replacement tire, she sees a man in a hat hitchhiking on the side of the road and passes him by. She sees the man again at the service station after getting a new tire and mentions him to the mechanic, but the mechanic doesn't see him. Once she resumes her trip, she sees the hitchhiker on the side of the road again. And again. And again. And again. The farther she drives, the more she sees him, and the more frightened and paranoid she gets. At the height of her fear, she's convinced the hitchhiker is trying to kill her, and she attempts to run him over in order to make it all stop. She finally decides to pull over to a phone booth in Arizona and call her mother to try and ground herself back in reality, and we get one final big twist to end the story.

When I realized that hitchhiker!Shax appearing and reappearing in front of the Bentley reminded me of this episode, I decided to watch it again because I hadn't seen it in years. What do we hear almost right out of the gate?

So lucky! You could even say she dodged a bullet there. Oh wait...

(I think he says "Chalk up a win to the side of the Angel" here, but close enough.) Interestingly, "the side of the angels" really just means "the good guys" these days. In both these scenes, setting aside the fact that Aziraphale is actually an angel, it's used in the context of "you survived something that could have killed you."

One other thing I didn't know before is that the Twilight Zone episode is based on a radio play, also called "The Hitch-Hiker," written by Lucille Fletcher and first presented on The Orson Welles Show in... 1941. Probably just a fun coincidence, but really, why does it feel like all roads lead back to 1941?

As for the final creepy twist in Nan's story? Her mother isn't home when she calls. The woman who answers the phone tells Nan that her mother is in the hospital. She had a nervous breakdown when she found out her daughter had been killed in a car accident in Pennsylvania - caused when her tire blew out and she ran off the road. Nan goes numb and walks back to her car. She pulls down the visor to look at herself in the mirror, and she sees the hitchhiker sitting in the back seat. He says, "I believe you're going... my way?"

So there we go - a wink and a nod to a tv episode with the moral that you can't outrun your fate/Death, in a season that sure seems to have a lot of references to death in it. By the time Nan sees the hitchhiker for the first time, she's already dead, she just doesn't know it yet. She tries running, but it all catches up to her anyway. By the time Aziraphale sees the hitchhiker, Shax is just about ready to trigger the events that lead to where we are at the end of the season. The precious, peaceful, fragile existence of the last few years is already dead, and no matter how much Aziraphale tries to outrun that idea by acting like There's Nothing Wrong...

...it all catches up anyway.

I have a more nebulous set of thoughts about the "side of the angels" line being seen in the 1941 flashback, and if I can get them in any type of coherent order, I'll link to another post or put them here. Something about that line referencing a lucky escape that isn't so lucky after all for Nan Adams, and how 1941 so far looks like a series of narrowly averted catastrophes for Aziraphale and Crowley...and how it really feels like we haven't seen all of the 1941 story yet.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #good omens analysis #good omens meta #good omens the hitchhiker #1941 good omens #aziraphale #shax

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thisisnotthenerd · 6 months

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ok, i know i put a poll up and that relationship tracking won the poll for what came next on the stats series.

but consider this: relationship tracking takes so goddamn long. i had already started it by the time that i put the poll up, and as of now i'm still not done. granted the list is comprehensive: romantic, platonic, familial, and adversarial relationships, separated by pc-npc and pc-pc. for every season.

anyway, i started tracking character ages in the meantime while i build up the motivation to finish the relationship tracking.

without further ado:

d20 character ages

some of these are listed in the wiki. some of these are based on vibes and more vague indications from the seasons in question. all of them have some element of my commentary. if there isn't an age given i will explain why. it's in the seating chart because that compacts the format into an understandable block and not an infinitely long list.

to be clear, some of these are confirmed with actual numbers, but some aren't, and i'm listing them as unknown and offering my opinion in place of a confirmed number.

fantasy high freshman year: i am convinced that the ages the cast give are vibes based. as someone who did not fit the normal age range of high school, i can tell you that in the US, freshmen are typically 14-15, sophomores 15-16, juniors 16-17, and seniors 17-18. that's not to say that someone can't fall out of those ranges. i did. anyway:

fig faeth: ~15. this is a rough estimate--she'd be born just after fall cutoff for her year to start at 15.

gorgug thistlespring: 14-15. he was confirmed 14 at the start of the season, and presumably turns 15 at some point during the year.

adaine abernant: 14-15. this is based on the fact that she turns 16 before the events of sophomore year

fabian seacaster: 16. a bit older than your average freshman, but i knew people who were 16 freshman year, so it's not that weird.

kristen applebees: 15-16. again a bit older than your average freshman, but younger than fabian.

riz gukgak: 14. this was confirmed in episode 13 iirc. riz is the youngest of the party

escape from the bloodkeep: this party has some major age differences that are very unclear. no real confirmed ages.

maggie: unknown. she and zaul'nazh had been in a relationship for ~100 years, so she's probably got a good couple of centuries under her belt

leiland: unknown. similar deal to maggie--he spent centuries serving zaul'nazh. how many? who knows

efink murderdeath: unknown. she's a tolkienesque high elf. if we go full lotr comparison to arwen, she's over 2000 by the time she marries percival.

sokhbarr: unknown. again, we don't really get confirmation of an age for him--he's just kind of an ageless bog-lord.

lilith: old as time. she ate the stars. definitely the oldest of the party.

markus st. vincent: unknown. human, so he has a human lifespan. i'd pin him in his 30s. given that his closest comparison is probably faramir, who's 35 at the start of the war of the ring, i think 30s tracks.

the unsleeping city: here we have a mix of confirmed ages and some straight up vibes.

ricky matsui: late 20s early 30s. more specifically around 26-31. this is vibes-based. i based this on his career progression.

sofia lee: early-mid 30s. another vibes-based one. again based on career progression. she feels a little older than ricky and pete, but not by much. married to dale for 5 years, so if they got married when she was in her late 20s, this tracks.

kingston brown: 55. thank god a confirmed number.

misty moore: ~400. at least that's how long she's been on earth. this actually comes from tucii. i'd put her misty form in late 70s early 80s, and her rowan form in her mid 20s.

kugrash: ~60, based on his 30 years as a rat druid.

pete conlan: younger than 31. this is based on a reference ally makes in tucii to big business (1988), so i aged him back three years. i would guess mid-late 20s during tuc; he mentions not having seen his dad in 6 years. assuming pete fully transitioned during college/around college age, it would make sense for him to be around 25-28 during the first unsleeping city.

tiny heist: some of these characters just straight up don't age, so they don't really count when evaluating age.

rick diggins: unknown. he's a clicko man. he cannot age except in spirit.

boomer coleoptera: unknown. vaguely middle-aged, though that might just be clint mcelroy's general dad energy

agnes: elderly. no confirmed number, though she's old enough to have a grandma schtick, a reputation, and a terminal illness prognosis of 2 months

ti-83: a teen. and that's all we know. probably younger than bean.

bean: late teens early 20s. a vague range, but at least it's something.

car-go jones: another ageless toy. at least a decade in human years, if we estimate that max got him at a similar age that he gives him to dylan.

a crown of candy: finally some goddamn numbers.

liam wilhelmina: 17-18. he starts at 17 and turns 18 in ep 15 iirc.

theobald gumbar: ~50. this tracks for him assisting lazuli and being amethar's friend during the war

jet rocks: 18. and she never lived past 18.

saccharina frostwhip: 23-24. this tracks for her being born around the ravening war, before the rocks sisters were killed.

ruby rocks: 18. and she keeps living.

amethar rocks: 48. reasonable. he'd have been in his mid 20s during the ravening war.

lapin cadbury: old man. yes that is the actual entry. i'd say he's probably 10-15 years older than amethar to really be considered old.

cumulous rocks: late 30s early 40s. tracks for being created by lazuli while theo was starting his knighthood under her.

fantasy high sophomore year: i'm halfway convinced that the intrepid heroes just don't know how old high schoolers are. granted, they may be going for general teen, i.e. 13+1d6, so the more batshit stuff they do comes across as a little more normal. it's like having actors in their 20s play teens. except they're actually dnd characters. and they're in their 30s.

fig faeth: 16-17. another rough estimate for fig.

gorgug thistlespring: 17. a little funky, since he was 14 at the start of fhfy. the principle of 13+1d6 comes across here

adaine abernant: 16. her age range for the year is 15-16, which is normal for a high school sophomore.

fabian seacaster: 18. definitely stretching it a bit. the listed current age is 18-19, which i'm assuming is using boy's night as reference.

kristen applebees: 16-17, which tracks with her progression from freshman year

riz gukgak: 16. confirmed in ep 14 iirc. since he was 14 in feb of freshman year, and assuming spring break is ~april, he has a spring birthday.

pirates of leviathan: there's a pretty clear split of age groups in this season--the first to introduce adults in spyre.

sunny biscotto: 18. her first adventure as an independent person, even though it was technically her running away from home.

barbarella sarsaparilla gainglynn: 22. it tracks; she grew up isolated on leviathan and isn't super far into her career, though she has a pretty strong base

cheese stormcrank: 16. the youngest of the party, even though he's his family breadwinner. the left table is the young people in this party.

myrtle: 30. aabria calls her a 'dirty thirty'. so that may not be exact.

jack brakkow: late 50s equivalent. granted he's a ratkin, and middle age starts at 25 for them, with old landing at 40. so he may actually be younger, probably closer to myrtle's age if not a little older.

marcid the typhoon: unknown. he's never given a specific age. given that he's known myrtle for a long time, and at some point was nearly drowned in a shipwreck, i'm going to put him in his 30s as well.

the unsleeping city chapter ii: again, a mix of confirmed ages and vibes.

ricky matsui: early 30s. 29-34. this is just three years aged up from the first unsleeping city.

sofia lee: mid 30s. another age-up from

kingston brown: 58. thank god a confirmed number.

iga lisowski: 45. it feels like she kind of plays up the old lady schtick for her job, bc 45 isn't that old.

rowan berry: ~400. at least that's how long she's been on earth. rowan form in her mid 20s.

cody walsh: 26. this is a 26 year old hot topic manager with 12 swords and extreme mediocrity. truly a character designed to cause chaos.

pete conlan: younger than 34. again based on the reference ally makes in tucii to big business (1988). i'd put him at around 28-31. definitely around cody's age, a little older, but not much.

mice & murder: they are animals using variant human stats, so they're using human ages.

gangie green: 55. he definitely acts younger in certain circumstances.

buckster $ boyd: unknown. probably younger than gangie--late 40s perhaps? we know he's a gemini.

daisy d'umpstaire: almost 60. she's past her prime and wondering if she really wants to do this for the rest of her life

ian prescott: unknown. definitely middle aged, probably around buckster's age.

lars vandenchomp: 18, supposedly in dog years. also a cancer. i don't know how, given that they served in the schnauzer war and supposedly have a business degree.

sylvester cross: 55. another person past his prime, and wondering what's he's doing with the rest of his life.

misfits & magic: the first school season to actually have consistent ages, assuming they're entering as sixth years who were in their junior year in the us.

whitney jammer: 16. born around 2005.

k | dream: 17. born around 2004

sam black: 16. another 2005 baby

evan kelmp: 17. born around 2003. this tracks for him not having formal education-- a little old for the grade.

the seven: the first spyre school season to have the ages be consistent. the ladies know teenagerhood well.

the fact they lost a year or so in the palimpsests makes placing their grades a little fuzzier: we know sam, ostentatia, and zelda get taken during the school year. penny goes missing just before the start of the year, and antiope, katja, and danielle get taken beforehand.

antiope jones: 18. she lost a year in the palimpsest, so she's technically a super senior, making her a junior during fhfy.

katja cleaver: 18. another technical super senior, who was a junior during fhfy.

penny luckstone: 18. again, she lost her junior year during fhfy.

danielle barkstock: 16-17. i'd say 17, because that makes her a sophomore during fhfy--she'd have repeated the year to be a junior during the seven.

ostentatia wallace: 16-17. leaning toward 17 again, but younger than danielle. we don't get full confirmation of how old she is/what grade she's in during fhfy, but given the fact that she's established enough to host a party at her house during fhfy, i'd say she's a sophomore, and that's the year she repeats.

sam nightingale: 18. i'd say close to 19, because she's definitely in penelope's age group if not grade, and i'm pretty sure i recall penelope being a senior during fhfy. she may have been young for her grade initially, but came out on the other end after fhfy.

zelda donovan: 16-17. leaning towards 16 for zelda; she's a freshman with the bad kids during fhfy, and is the last maiden to be captured, at some point during the second semester. she could conceivably retake classes over the summer and catch up in order to be a sophomore the same year as the bad kids.

shriek week: this is a college season, so they're college aged. i don't have that much to say--we know exactly how old they are.

terry talbo: 22

megan mirror: 23

tuti iv: 21

seven: 22

a starstruck odyssey: there's a mix here--some vagueness, some numbers. in-universe their ages would be counted differently anyway, since they work off of 6-month cycles and not 12-month years.

gunnie miggles-rashbax: mid 30s. he's got two PhDs and a master's as well as a cyborg body and years of trying to pay off debt.

riva: unknown. it's reasonable to assume that they're on the younger side, given that they are on their galavant. i'd assume around early-mid 20s for their species.

norman takamori: unknown. based on the art and his general timeline, i'd say ~40s. maybe 50s.

skip | valdrinor: unknown. he's a cerebroslug who was presumably raised somewhere, tried to escape, ended up in space and then in a crate of powdered egg substitute.

margaret encino: 24. a savant who began working at 18. truly a girlboss on a quarter life crisis.

sundry sidney: n/a. she's an android--aging doesn't really apply to her. i think it's only been a year or so since the line was shut down, since it's been revamped as the warfare whitneys.

big barry syx: 38. this also carries over to barry nyne. we know barry bohunk created the barry battalion before anarchera 200 (current=220), but they were born as 25 year old beautiful big boys. in short, barry's age is a little questionable.

coffin run: another age split season, since half of the party is immortal.

aleksandr astrovsky: 41. young to be florina's zayde. also 15 sons? especially when he and marina had not been in contact for ~7 years? insane.

squing: old as time. younger than dracula, but only just. just a squishy headed vampire who eats letters.

wetzel: 26. has not even lived a majority of his lifetime and already wants to be a vampire.

may wong: 24. granted that's because she was turned at 24 so as to be eternally young and hot, so she's a bit older than that probably.

a court of fey and flowers: they are archfey that don't die. blooms are centuries apart. assume these age ranges are going to be like the bloodkeep ranges.

andhera: unknown. younger than most of the fae--he's the current heir to the unseelie, but has had many siblings who died previously in pursuit of the throne. most of the others knew them when they were younger; hob unhorsing him on the field of battle is only one example. so definitely like just of age for this prince.

k.p. hob: unknown. definitely older than andhera and likely binx, he's in the prime of his military career. getting closer to middle age, but still a relatively eligible bachelor, given that the goblin court sought to make a marriage alliance with lady sylmenar.

chirp featherfowl: unknown. i'd put her at the archfey equivalent of late 20s early 30s just based on vibes. she's still getting down at the bloom but has a 4 year old at home on the material plane.

squak airavis: unknown. i'd say slightly younger than chirp, but they've been cousins for so long that the difference is irrelevant. late 20s, getting down and breaking hearts at the bloom. considering marriage but shopping around.

delloso de la rue: unknown. rue is a little tricky--they were brought to the court of wonder as a child and presumably aged normally to that point, but they've been an archfey ever since. closer to hob's age than the lords of the wing.

binx choppley: unknown. the crisis of the court of craft happened relatively recently in fey terms and she was an adult by that point, though not truly the leader at the time. i'd say she's older than andhera, younger than the lords of the wing.

neverafter: some weird age splits in this party; kids, adults, inexplicable trickster spirits.

rosamund du prix: 18. technically 118, but that doesn't really matter.

timothy goose: unknown. he's old enough to have greying hair and an adult son--late 40s-early 50s maybe?

pinocchio: 12. this is based on both him and ylfa being 21 during the epilogue, so i'm assuming they're the same/a similar age.

puss in boots/pib: unknown. we meet him when he's on the older side for a cat, but also he's an eternally reincarnating trickster spirit, so that doesn't really matter.

gerard of greenleigh: 32. the other adult in the party, even though he doesn't have everything figured out.

ylfa snorgelsson: 12. this is confirmed in story, and she and pinocchio are the same age.

the ravening war: this season is a little weird because of the time skip and the fact that some ages are unconfirmed.

delissandro katzon: starts at 19, 21 after the first timeskip, 26 after the second. a young man.

raphaniel charlock: unknown. i'd say he starts in his late 60s and ends the season in his mid-70s. old enough to be deteriorating and have specific signs of age, but still spry enough to pull off a cunning action dash.

karna solara: 14 to start, 16 post-timeskip 1, 21 post-timeskip 2. rotting from a young age.

colin provolone: unknown. i'd place him in his late 20s to start, mid 30s by the end, based on his art and the start of cheese pattern baldness.

amangeaux epiceé du peche: unknown. mid 20s to start, early 30s by the end. she and her husband had been trying for heirs for a while--assuming she married young, she's not past her prime, but not having a kid in her position would be a little sus. also the fact that she must have had a relatively healthy uncomplicated pregnancy points to her still being pretty young to start.

dungeons & drag queens: a lot of variance here as well. mostly vibes-based.

troyánn: 242. she's got a combination of elf and immortal mermaid queen--this is reasonable.

princess foehammer: unknown. probably in her 20-30s.

gertrude: unknown. explicitly immortal--the only sign of age is her hair. she's been around for a while.

twyla: unknown. she's another fairy of unknown age.

mentopolis: some of these characters have stated ages. they are also concepts in a brain.

conrad schintz: 10. his growth has been stunted for years.

anastasia tension: 24. an up and coming journalist running form her rich family? say no more.

hunch curio: unknown. he's a concept in a brain. on vibes? 40s.

imelda pulse: unknown. i'd say she's probably around anastasia's age, given that they demonstrably grew up together.

dan fucks: unknown. another concept in a brain. 20-30s on the vibes alone.

the fix: unknown. concept in a brain. old enough to be a father and a contract killer is all i'll say.

burrow's end: this follows stoat aging--some of these are confirmed, some are guesses.

tula: 1-2 years old, leaning towards 2. old enough to have kids of a reasonable age, if the 1 year mark is adulthood (male stoats achieve sexual maturity at 10-11 months)

jaysohn: somewhere between 6 and 8 months old. growing up fast.

viola: 1-2 years old, same litter as tula. i looked up stoat reproduction against recommendation.

thorn vale: 1-2 years old. in the vague adult range with tula and viola.

ava: 4 years old. potentially could live for 15 more winters. unbelievable.

lila: somewhere between 6 and 8 months old. same litter as jaysohn, but is the elder of the two of them.

and that's all for this time! despite being this long, this is still going to be shorter than the relationship tracking. as always the spreadsheet is available for perusal.

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sunflower-author · 2 months

Note

Haii :3

can I request a yandere platonic lady Tamayo who is very protective of reader

OMG, I AM SO SORRY, I KNOW IT HAS BEEN LIKE 60 DAYS SINCE YOU ASKED I AM EXTREMELY SORRY BUT IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!

IM A LITTLE BEHIND BUT WORKING ON ALL THE OTHER REQUEST!!

TRUST!!!

Anyway I hope you like this<3

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

"Y/N I told you many times haven't I," Tamayo scolded you, in your room.

"I just wanted to go out to see the festival... It only happens once a year..." You complained.

"Still that doesn't justify sneaking out. You could have lost control, gotten lost, or Kibutsuki might have found you, or-"

"I had human blood yesterday, and you know I handle a least a week without it, and I know the village, I've been reading about it for a while, and we haven't heard about... 'him' being around here my entire lifetime..." you cut her off by saying.

"You've never been around so many people, since you've been turned into a demon, there was no telling if you could handle, all the new walking blood bags around you, and reading about things is different than actually seeing things in real life, as for Kibutsuki, even he we heard no word about him being here, there is still his underlings that lurk around here. remember the last time Yushiro told us about the encounter he had with one of them?" Tamayo asks you.

"... Four days ago..." you say looking down, feeling guilty, knowing that she is right.

"Exactly four days ago, they are probably still hiding in this town somewhere, it's dangerous to go out alone... you know, if you truly asked me and Yushiro, we would have taken you..." Tamayo says sighing.

"Yeah right... you're just saying that right now... but we both know if I asked you before, you would have said no, lecture me more about being outside, humans, demons... 'him' exactly what you're doing right now," you say, knowing the type of manipulation tactics she has used on you ever since you met her.

"All I'm doing is trying to protect you... ever since I met you, don't you forget who was the one that saved you all those years ago... That demon was about to devour you, and I was the one who killed him, if I wasn't there, you would have been dead..." Tamayo said.

Every time the two of you argued and she had enough, Tamayo would always bring up your past trauma, guilt-tripping you to go along with whatever she was saying.

You stay silent knowing that you can't say anything, after she pulls 'that' card on you.

"I care about you Y/N, I truly do," Tamayo says sitting down beside you on your bed.

"Listen, maybe when you're older... give it a few years, and I promise, you me and Yushiro will all go to that festival," Tamayo says, with her signature smile.

It makes her look innocent, but we both know it is always used to hide what she truly is feeling. Her obsessed, psycho, crazy side, or maybe annoyed, irritated side, probably both.

"Older? I'm old enough, I am in my teens no doubt late teen years, in a few years I might well be in my twenties," you snap back at her.

"Correction, you would be in your twenties if you were still human... Demons age differently since they can live well longer compared to humans, menially it takes... even I am not too sure." Tamayo says calmly.

"Yes you have been here a few years, however menially you've probably only aged a few months, and let's not forget about your physical state, when you get turned into a demon, you stop growing physically," Tamayo says.

As she put her hand on your head, in hopes of comforting you a bit.

"I managed fine on my own before you found me," You counter back.

"You lasted what? A little over a year, before I found about to be devoured by a low-level demon-"

"I was younger, I was still getting used to being a demon, but now I know how to do things, thanks to you and Yushiro, I'll be able to handle myself, Tamayo," You cut her off, not wanting her to say anymore.

"And if you were to run into Kibutsuki? Then what? how will you defend yourself, if he found out you were associated with me? He would do unspeakable things to you Y/N," Tamayo says sternly.

"The chances of running into him are very small, just how much demons actually get to see his face?" you say again.

"Y/N L/N, drop this," Tamayo says, sternly, before sighing and calming herself down.

Finally having enough of this, you stay silent, you can never win against Tamayo. This is how all your arguing ends with her, once she says your full name everything ends.

"You acting childish, auguring with me, selfish for leaving me and Yushiro worried-" Realizing what she is saying stops, looking down at her lap, it is never her intention to make you feel bad.

"Y/n I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Yeah yeah, you didn't mean all those bad things you said and were about to say to me," giving her attitude.

Rolling your eyes, you start to lie down on the bed, facing away from her.

"Well, since you're already mad at me, minus well tell you your punishment, no books for a month, and you will stay in your room for a week," Tamayo says turning to look at you.

You just stay silent looking the other way, waiting for her to go.

Getting the signal, Tamayo gets up from the bed walks to the door, turns off the light, grabs the door she looks at you for a moment.

"Goodnight Y/N," She says softly, only to be met with silence.

Sighing again, she closes the door, locking it.

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zepskies · 3 months

Note

Hi! I would love to hear what Ben thinks of the reader's music and what HIS favorite music is. Just picturing a grumpy, old Ben grumbling about "music nowadays" 😂

Hey there, lovely Anon!

Ohohooo, what a great question. 😂 I too can imagine Mr. Grouch trying to understand modern music:

I briefly explored this in Part 5 of Break Me Down, when they're (playfully) arguing about music:

And you talked—about the old-ass TV shows he never got to see the end of, and the new music he hated. You’d enjoyed (gently) teasing him about being an old man who didn’t understand Cardi B when you played it on his phone. You suspected he didn’t quite understand how all the bells and whistles worked on an iPhone yet. (But he’d taken it back from you before you could text anyone.) “In my day, there was a little more fucking class,” he’d said. “Sinatra. Nat King Cole. Christ, the fucking Beatles.” You’d rolled your eyes at that. You liked all those guys too, actually. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t bang out all the words to “Bodak Yellow” and “Please Me.”

😂 A little more fucking class indeed, Benjamin.

As a more general Soldier Boy (Ben) x Reader situation, I explored Ben vs. 90s music in this imagine: Taking Ben to a 90’s themed club.🕺🏻

A highlight from that one:

For a while he just sits at the bar with you while you catch up with your friends. You're so damn excited, he can tell. The inside of the club is interesting, he supposes, with dim lighting and a DJ on the stage with a very sophisticated looking setup that Ben finds wholly unfamiliar. The music, however, is ass so far. What the fuck is this, Hip Hop? Rap? R&B? He can't tell, and he doesn't know any of the songs. It sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. And don't get him started on whatever you call grunge.

But as for Ben's favorite music...

It's my headcanon that he personally identified with the likes of Frank Sinatra ("My Way"), Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Mel Torme, Nat King Cole, etc. He definitely would've come into adulthood on that and sought to emulate their lifestyle, not just like their music.

Him coming up in the 40s, he probably would've (secretly) liked a bit of Doris Day and Ella Fitzgerald. (In BMD world, it would probably remind him of his mother.)

But there's also some edge to him. He would've embraced some "free love" to to speak lol, so getting through the 60s and 70s, I think he would've liked the Beatles, Rolling Stones, maybe some Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, and Aerosmith coming into the 80s.

Interestingly, from that scene in the Legend's penthouse we know he had Air Supply on in the background, so maybe he's secretly into some classic love songs from the 70s/80s. 😂 Maybe some Bee Gees, Spandau Ballet, stuff like that...

Though God forbid someone try to tease him about it.

Especially when he starts to dip into some of your music when you're not looking. 😏

#ask me stuff #thank you for this question! 💚#made me laugh just thinking about it lol #Soldier Boy headcanon #Ben's taste in music #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy/ben #the boys #Break Me Down #BMD-verse #soldier boy x you #zepskies answers

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endlich-allein · 1 year

Text

Till Lindemann from "Rammstein" turns 60

Good man

Von Flake Lorenz

3. Januar 2023

Till Lindemann, "Rammstein" singer and lyricist, turns 60. Congratulations from his longtime friend and keyboardist.

Actually, one would not have to wait for a milestone birthday to honor this wonderful person. You could just pause and pay homage to the force of nature on any other evening. It may also be that Till Lindemann's birthday this Wednesday is not true. Even when Bravo reported about Rammstein for the first time in the early 1990s, our dates of birth were completely out of thin air. We were way too old for the Bravo target group back then, so the editors simply made us a few years younger. That wasn't a problem because the internet was still empty.

We soon realized that it doesn't matter how old you really are. Much later, when Rammstein became successful, being old was even better. You can deal more calmly with all that nonsense and enjoy your happiness in peace. Also, a person's age is just in the eye of the beholder, at least I don't know anyone who would call themselves old. On the other hand, I can still remember how, as a young musician, I couldn't calm down when I found out that the guitarist in a band I was friends with was over 30 years old. "He can still make music?" I asked. Men over 50 were half-dead, bleating grandpas in ugly brown clothes, they were every teenager's natural enemy.

It's 1986. Till turns up the system. I'm worried: What will the neighbors think?

Till seemed old to me when I met him. That was in the mid-1980s in East Germany. Till was not only older than me, in contrast to me he was already really grown up. He lived in his own house while I was still in my parents' room and didn't even have a girlfriend. I saw Till for the first time in 1986 in a Schwerin club after a Feeling B concert. I immediately noticed him: Till was a tall, strong man who on the one hand exuded natural authority, but at the same time seemed very shy. We didn't hesitate when he offered to take us home with him. His house in the country near Schwerin seemed like paradise to me, it was incredibly comfortable, probably because he had set it up that way himself; he had knocked out the walls between the rooms and left only the half-timbering. The volume on his system was turned up to the limit, the Sisters Of Mercy screamed from the cheap speakers.

I had never dared to do anything like this in my life. What would the neighbors think? When I wanted to play a song on the piano in between, Till simply carried it for me to another room where it wasn't so loud. At some point we all fell asleep where we sat and stood, like in Sleeping Beauty, and when I woke up the next morning, I imagined what it would be like if you always lived like Till. I really liked this idea.

Of course, his life wasn't a one-stop party. He also lived in the house because the argument with his father, who was not exactly frail, had escalated beforehand. Till had hit his father, the children's book author Werner Lindemann, with such a punch that he flew into the strawberry bed. Then Werner Lindemann threw Till's things out of the skylight. Life in a sports boarding school and training as a carpenter in Rostock were no fun either. Later, as a single father, Till lived with his daughter Nele in his nest, which in turn probably saved him from being drafted into the army. Till always seemed and always seems in a good mood to me – a bit like Obelix, of course not in terms of stature, for God's sake, he looks more like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but in terms of personality he's more like Obelix. Always according to the motto: "Friends, I have a plan, let's go here and there and break everything to pieces!"

Practical: He could change a wheel on the Trabi without using the jack

When the wall was suddenly open, Till drove to Lübeck with a couple of friends and spent all the West money he had saved and exchanged on gummy bears. He sat in a doorway and ate them all. Of course, he also manages a wild boar – it was an advantage back then that he lived so close to the railway embankment. When a waiter asks Till if he liked his food, he usually replies: "Yes, thank you, it was plenty." Incidentally, he also shares Obelix's great love of small dogs. Since Till is with (allegedly) Francis of Assisi, who wrote: "The dog remains loyal to me in the storm, man not even in the wind."

And like Obelix, Till seems to have fallen into a magic potion, because he really has tremendous powers.

At that time he could change a wheel on the Trabi without using the jack. In the old days, when we had to work as stewards at an open-air festival, Till just banged his fist through a car window to hold the driver down.

If Till sees any body of water, he immediately plunges into it and plows through it like a motorboat. He tucks the boxes that we carry in the studio or in the rehearsal room under his arm alone.

If a door is locked somewhere, he just sticks me through a second-story window so I can open it all from the inside.

I've never met anyone who is so pragmatic about music and lyrics. Till would never have originally thought of becoming a singer. Although he observed that musicians in Schwerin had a hit with women and then played drums in a punk band - but in all those years I really never had the feeling that punk music particularly interested him. An effective and well thought-out stage show was always more important to him. For example, Till once put chickens in the bass drum and only pulled the cloth away after the first song, causing the animals to tumble across the stage.

Cheering crowds, prizes and honours: All of this actually leaves him completely cold

When Till was supposed to sing with us, it was very difficult for him at first, because as a singer you can't hide behind an instrument or another musician. Then he put on welding goggles so that he looked like a friendly insect. Till sang beautifully, deeply and soothingly. We stopped worrying immediately. Everything would be fine. We just needed good lyrics. So Till sat down to write them. He never pretends to be a great artist who needs to express his deep feelings. He prefers to think about what else can be lit on stage (like me). The concerts used to be a lot of fun. At that time we always looked for an attractive village inn first, in order to eat as much as possible. Only then did we set up our stuff and play.

Till loves women - and women love him. But how he manages to go through his life completely free of any affectation, even after 37 years, still arouses deep admiration from me. Cheering crowds of spectators, prizes and honors actually leave him completely cold. Organizing a party for our entire crew seems to be more important to him than any concert. Incidentally, he has renounced his rights as a lyricist for decades, so that all six of us at Rammstein earn exactly the same. In any case, Till has extended the life of the band, because money is usually the trigger for a breakup. He, on the other hand, has a very decisive influence on our band with his lyrics and his voice.

So we can still successfully defend our small East German village. By Teutates! May the sky never fall on Till's head!

(I'm not sure of this whole translation so feel free to correct me)

#thank you so much flake #i am not crying you are #till is a good man and a rare and beautiful being human #till and flake #my loves #till is love 🖤#till lindemann #flake lorenz #paul landers #oliver riedel #christoph schneider #richard kruspe #rammstein #rammstein 2023 #till's day

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fabuloustrash05 · 5 months

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So according to TMNT's wiki, Chris Bradford is 33 years old.

That seems like a reasonable age for this martial arts celebrity, however when we get to season 4 we learn that Bradford had an action cartoon show in the 80's called Chris Bradford's 2 Ruff Krew. If he was still famous and also an adult in the 80's but is 33 in the series which takes place in the year 2012 (both airing and in universe), that would mean Bradford's show first aired in 1979, but that would also mean that was Bradford's birth year is 1979 because he's 33 (2012 - 33 = 1979)

So it's impossible for him to be 33 in the series and was a full grown man in the 80's when in truth he was a child during the 80's. Bradford would actually be in his 60's when he meets the Turtles!

1946 - birth year 1979 - 2 Ruff Crew first aired (33 years old) 2012 - Present day, fighting the Turtles (66 years old)

So with the writer's not thinking ahead and just making Mr T cartoon reference without thinking how this will affect the logic/timeline of the show, here's my headcanon! Bradford claims he's 33 when in truth he's actually 66. He's so in shape and healthy (also probably has done surgeries) that people don't question his age when he claims he's in his 30's, he doesn't want to lose his fame and career from old age so he is forever 33 and don't you dare tell him otherwise!

Bonus HC: Xever is the only one who knows Bradford's true age so he calls him "grandpa" whenever they're fighting as a form of blackmail. Like "yeah I know your dark secret and I'm gonna tell everyone if you don't shut up"

#granted it is a wiki page so it's probably not the most reliable source but I still find this HC to be funny #random thoughts #FabTrash headcanons #TMNT headcanons #tmnt 2012 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #chris bradford #dogpound #rahzar #the foot clan

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mugentakeda · 1 month

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do u think that iroh shld have been closer in age to ozai? or stinky balding 50 yr man and his 25 yr old brother supremacy🤔

stinky balding 50 yr old man and his 25 yr old brother supremacy. but to be honest I highly doubt ozai is 25 like he isn't greying and he doesn't have many wrinkles. but the hairline is already receding and he doesn't LOOK like a young man (to ME.) i had to pull out my math calculations (<-being dead serious here) from where I decided how old lu ten would be in my aus right. because that was actually important for me (because I literally had to come up with all his lore and his ages during specific Events was important). and this is all headcanon stuff btw cus none of the adults in atla have set ages, and the ba sing se siege doesn't have a set year either. I just decided that it took place in 94 AG cus whatever dawg. I decided that ozai is 42 during canon. not too young, but not old either. it only says that iroh was between his 50s or 60s, so I went with 58. and I am not the blog that thinks there was a lost brotherly love between iroh and ozai at any point in time lol. I think iroh was already pretty invested in his training and studies and gearing up for military stuff by the time ozai was even born, which effectively squashed out any hope ozai would ever get at having any type of spotlight in the future. on top of that, I soaked up the headcanon that fire lady ilah died giving birth to ozai from a mutual, so between iroh being the golden boy and already very successful, and ozai """being what took ilah away""" (along with the stuff he probably has in common with zuko lol), the obviously sour relationship between ozai and azulon makes sense. i feel like iroh and ozai do know each other very well, but in the way two opponents are supposed to know each other very well lol. I don't think iroh ever felt personally challenged by ozai in a man to man sense because he always knew his place with his father lol. he didn't take comfort in the fact that ozai was no match for him but like.... he just didn't care. Like at all. I feel that as ozai got older and gradually gained more Audacity that iroh would occasionally feel irritated with his brother or maybe even disrespected, but like I said I don't think iroh ever felt honest to god saw ozai as anything but an annoyance until ozai made himself a threat. a background character if you will

#I kinda went into it during the iroh pov ficlet for my runaway firefam au. I'll need to find it #asks

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fellow-traveller · 14 days

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So I just bought the latest JoJo magazine. Haven't read it thoroughly yet but there's a lot of stuff on Part 3-6 which is kinda cool. But I'm kinda reminded from the book that Polnareff was born in 1964. Should he be alive in 2024, he'd be 60 years old.

But it makes me wonder how old Hol Horse actually is.

He never had an official birth year, like the main characters in SDC, so we can only assume by his background, which, unfortunately, we don't have that either.

(whatever past this point is just what I got from a few hours of reading, so apologies dear curators of history and translators of CDDH if they are not accurate...)

While I haven't finished the Crazy Heartbreakers novel yet, I'm just gonna use that as the basis for Hol Horse's background, canon or not. So we go with the fan translation that Hol Horse originated from an "Eastern European country that had ceased to exist in 1999". Meaning, he was most likely born in Czechslovakia, Yugoslavia or East Germany of the Eastern Bloc, between 1950-1970.

What's interesting about these three no-longer-existed nations is that they were famous for Osterns i.e. Eastern European Western cowboy films. Osterns that were exact replicas of Spaghetti Westerns most likely started with Yugoslavia's Winnetou (1963), and Czechslovakia's Lemonade Joe (1964). Additionally, two famous non-Soviet cowboy films that were allowed screening in the Eastern Bloc were Magnificient Seven (1960) and Gold (1969). I'm omitting East Germany cowboy films at this point since most of them tell the Western stories from the Red Indian's perspective.

So it's safe to say that Hol Horse, who stole time to watch a cowboy film in the cinema that inspired his cowboy persona, must have been a child between 1960 and 1969. Assuming that movies at that time had no age ratings, and that age 4 is the average minimum for one to be allowed to enter a cinema, Hol Horse could have been born anytime between 1956 and 1965.

Taking the samples of the famous Osterns and Westerns listed that tell a tale of a skilled gunslinger in a typical spaghetti cowboy setting who became an unexpected hero and saved the fair maiden by the end of the film, only one truly stood out: Lemonade Joe.

Lemonade Joe is a satirical cowboy film that tells the story of a lone cowboy and skilled gunslinger named Lemonade Joe, who loves a non-alcoholic soda called Kolaloka (sounds almost like Locacaca, doesn't it?). Using his gunfighting skills, he convinced a town to embrace the soda and stop consuming alcohol, while also courting the daughter of a missionary.

What I found most interesting is that another name for this film is "The Horse Opera."

Now, I don't know if Araki or Kadono (the writer of CDDH) ever found inspiration from this film. This is purely on the assumption that our beloved Hol is just a goofy yet capable cowboy that suits the satire genre so well.

So! Assuming that this was probably one of the many films that inspired our Hol to be the cowboy he was meant to be (and also inspired his Stand), since Lemonade Joe was screened in 1964, we can then assume that Hol most likely was born in 1960. Which makes him the same age as Avdol. And also makes him at the ripe age of 39 during the CDDH's run.

He's definitely old. But still the best cowboy in JoJo ♥

#jjba #meta i guess #hol horse #musings #i wished there's more to hol horse so i don't have to get myself a lesson on soviet cowboy films with names i couldn't pronounce

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heisenberg-simp257 · 1 year

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60, 156, 158 for Karl ❤️

I love your writing!

Thank you so much!💖

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Simpler Times

It's easy to forget the war outside when the life you have inside has so much more to look forward to.

#60 “I made dinner for us.”

#156 “It soothes the baby when you talk/sing/tell a story to him/her/them.”

#158 “I can’t wait to hold him/her/them.”

Contrary to what people believed, Heisenberg did care about others. It's just that the spectrum of who those others were was very little. Very rarely will some human spark enough interest in him for him to even bother about their lives.

I guess you were special.

To this day you were still trying to figure out why Heisenberg kept you alive. Sure, now you guys had a relationship built on love and trust that took several years, but what started it? What was it about you that sparked interest in that unique head of his? He'll probably never say because he probably doesn't really know.

But it doesn't really matter anymore. Heisenberg was a man who moved forward without dwelling too much on the simple things of the past. And now, he had too more so than ever. Life had a meaning to him now.

You asked him to do a simple task, one that involved sorting clothes. He didn't even have to fold them. All he had to do was put the clothes in three simple piles.

Yours (fairly large).

His (pitifully small).

And the baby's (horrifyingly large).

Discovering you're going to have a kid is one thing, especially when it was never a part of your future plans, but actually prepping for said kid is a whole other level. He's never seen so many different shades of pinks and purples in his life. It made him want to vomit, even though he was actually happy at the news.

It was like a sign from above that he needed to focus more on his life instead of on the lives that caused him evil. As soon as Heisenberg got the news, he got a calendar. Then he dusted off one of his old ultrasound machine things that he used on his experiments in order to get a better look at the baby.

He may not be a doctor, but even he could tell it was a girl. So, you guys prepared for a girl. It made things more real.

And it also made it to where the Lord of Metal was sitting on a bed sorting through clothes as he cursed under his breath. If the other lords saw him now, they would surely laugh because such a simple task seemed so difficult for him. However, his misery was cut short as you called for him.

"Karl!" Hearing his first name still makes him smirk a bit, but he follows your call regardless to the kitchen. Once there, the smell of laundry was replaced by the smell of your cooking.

“I made dinner for us.” You announced, placing some plates down on the dining table. Your smile was radiating, but Heisenberg found his eyes tracing down your ever curvy figure as well, now heavy with child.

"You are a saint, you know that?" He said with a grin as he sauntered into the room, placing a kiss on your cheek.

"You tell me a lot, so yes." You giggled as you gently maneuvered yourself around the kitchen to finish setting up, him helping you. He looked a bit tired, but nothing new about that.

"Did you get everything done?" You asked, referring to the task you gave him while you made dinner. Heisenberg chuckled to himself as you guys finished setting up.

"I don't know how you do it all. You are one hell of a woman." He complimented and you blushed.

"In more ways than one." He added, eyes looking farther away as a slight smile came to his face. Absentmindedly, your hand went to caress your baby bump, a smile coming to your face as well.

“I can’t wait to hold her.” You mused, picturing your daughter already in your head. However, Heisenberg's smile vanished a bit as another thought came to mind. Your smile left your face as well when you noticed his solemness.

"Karl...what's wrong?" You asked gently, reaching over as best you could to grab his hand. Dinner could wait at the moment.

"I'm just...afraid. You're so soft and gentle while I'm...not." He admitted his fears to you, something that took forever to accomplish. His thumb gently stroked your knuckles as he took a deep breath.

You nodded.

"It's okay...to be afraid. It's all so new to both of us." You tried to comfort him, but he just scoffed a bit.

"Yeah...I just don't want her to be afraid of me." Heisenberg admitted with a side eye. You squeezed his hand lovingly.

"You won't. You want to know why?" You asked with a small smile. He looked up at you, seemingly confused before nodding a bit.

You reached over to grab his other hand and place it on your belly.

“It soothes the baby when you talk to her.” You stated, smiling lovingly at the man who helped you create a miracle.

He looked lost for a bit before the baby kicked slightly against his palm. For a moment, he was shocked, but then a wide grin broke out on his face.

"Really? You like listening to your old man?" Heisenberg cooed, an unnatural sight, as he rubbed your belly lovingly. It made you blush and your heart swell.

Against everything in his life, Heisenberg finally found something to be happy about. You just hoped that he wouldn't overthink things in the future.

It's nice to hear him talk to your unborn child more often.

The war outside rages, but inside his home, he has found closure.

#resident evil #resident evil imagines #resident evil village #resident evil village imagines #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg imagine #karl heisenberg x reader

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theconstitutionisgayculture · 8 months

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I think it's time for me to come clean with something I've never admitted to anybody before. And it's not something I've done or anything like that. It's not an action I've taken. It's an opinion I have that I know is something that would cause a lot of...let's say strife with most people if they knew I had it. It's not a controversial opinion I'm particularly proud of the way I'm proud of my opinion on John Lennon being a boring hack, or my opinions on YouTube content creators being, by default, talentless nobodies compared to literally any other professional creative, or my opinion that sport hunting journalists and politicians should be, if not actually legal, than at least one of those victimless crimes that never actually get prosecuted. This opinion I'm about to share is something that my own parents would never understand if I were to admit it to them, which, to be honest, does sting a bit when I let myself think about it too much.

I know most of you don't follow me for personal BS, and I respect that, so I'm going to put a cut before I state this opinion so people who don't really care to learn more about me as a person can easily give it a skip. For the rest of you, all I ask is that you try to keep an open mind, and understand that this is as hard for me to admit as it is for you to read.

George Carlin is a terrible fucking comedian.

I know. I know.

But hear me out.

I'm not saying he's not funny, because he can be. Certainly he was hilarious to 12 year old Little Me who would watch clips of his acts on Comedy Central long after my parents went to bed. But as I got older, I started to notice something. It wasn't that I was "growing out" of George Carlin. That's silly to say. That's like saying someone grew out of watching Eddie Murphy's Raw. You're not even supposed to be watching that stuff until you're grown.

No, the thing I noticed was that he isn't actually a comedian.

He's a blogger.

Again, he does tell jokes, but telling jokes does not a comedian make. Everyone tells jokes. What makes a comedian a comedian is that they are so funny that people will pay money to laugh at their jokes. And that's not George Carlin. That's not why people go to see George Carlin. They might think it is, but it's not. No, they go to see him for the same reason he stands up in front of them and speaks.

They want to hear their own opinions parroted back at them, and then they want to cheer. Just like George doesn't really want to make people laugh. He wants to give his opinions on social issues and politics, and then he wants everyone to clap and validate those opinions. The laughter is completely secondary. It's not even necessary past the point of telling just enough jokes to both get people in the door, and to allow those people the illusion that they're at a comedy show and not reading a blog.

And Carlin isn't the only blogger pretending to be a comedian. You probably know quite a few already. The Jon Stewarts, John Olivers, and Jimmy Kimmels of the world who just want to be cheered for stating their, often idiotic, opinions on things. I used to call this "Applause Comedy", and I've always hated it with a passion. But these days I just call it blogging, because that's what it is. And George Carlin is its grandfather. His entire career is based on "telling it like it is" instead of "telling jokes". And let's be fair, some of his opinions are right. Of course, these days the people he roasts are usually not on the same side of the political divide as the ones he was intending on roasting. He is another terminal victim of the 60s, so don't ever mistake him for being even remotely right wing.

(I wonder if, were he still alive, would he be one of those few boomerlibs that actually recognize how batshit insane the left has become? Or would he be one of the ones that now supports all the things they railed against 40+ years back because their identity as a leftist is more important than their supposed principals?

I could speculate, but I won't.)

But being able to comment intelligently or eloquently on political or social issues isn't a skill one should look for in a comedian. And getting cheered for stating an opinion isn't something a real comedian should look for in their audience. A comedian tells jokes. He makes people laugh. He tells stories and weaves tales and creates an atmosphere of joy. He allows us to keep the outside world at bay for an hour or so, and leaves us with a small shield against that world when his show is over in the form of fond memories and shared enjoyment.

You're more likely to come out of a George Carlin show more angry at the world than when you went in.

And that's not comedy.

That's not entertainment.

That's blogging.

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paradoxcase · 17 days

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John 1:20

THE TOWER HAS BEEN REACTIVAT

No surprises there.

I mean, isn't this basically the same conclusion they already came to like several John chapters ago, when Augustine was questioning whether the FTL even existed? (Although, apparently actual FTL really happens at the end of this chapter, I guess it actually was real? Why does it make no appearance in the rest of these books? If this other FTL technology exists, why did BOE work so hard to get a ship with a stele and a necromancer to operate it?) Anyway, this doesn't feel like a new or exciting conclusion to come to

I don't feel like this story has done a good job of explaining why this has to be done, or even why John and co. think it has to be done. Is it because they're leaving in the ships that were intended for the cryo project? I'm sure they can build more of those, it's just money and engineering, and even if all the trillionaires leave, there's still a lot of governments with a lot of money out there who would probably be willing to fund the cryo project when John turns out to be right about trillionaires after they've left and there's no one left to defend them and talk about the secret lives of cows. I mean, as long as he doesn't start doing stupid and crazy shit and causing a nuclear holocaust. Who cares if the trillionaires leave? I feel like the point of these chapters is to explain why John did what he did, but I don't think this explanation makes a lot of sense. This is not moving me as a supervillain origin story

So, according to the UN, world population will not reach ten billion until 2058. I calculated earlier that John can't be born later than 1998 and still be old enough to realistically attend the Parachute music festival, so are we meant to believe that John is 60 years old here?

If I had a nickel for every time someone had their arm cut off and then regrown in this story, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

Also, thanks for not making this one a sex scene, I think I've already heard more than I wanted to about John's sex life

Presumably this is needed for something resurrection-related, I guess it's so that when the suitcase nuke explodes he can grow a whole new G1deon again from the arm, like a starfish. So presumably John would have had no trouble growing Ianthe a new arm that worked as her arm, if she had asked him. I went back to see where Ianthe's first problematic arm had come from, but all I can find is that she denies that either John or Mercy was responsible for it. Did she make it herself? I can't remember

Ok, but six paragraphs earlier Pyrrha is being mad that G1deon won't arm the nuke if she comes with him. Did Pyrrha know, or not?

I mean, I hate to say it, but you were right there with all of the others when John was like, we have to stop the trillionaires from escaping, that's the absolute more important thing to be doing right now, and exactly zero of you said, no John, that's not actually the most important thing to be doing right now

Why did Cristabel decide that right now was the best time for John to figure out how souls work? There's this whole side narrative about John working out how souls work, but it doesn't really feel tied to the rest of the story about the trillionaires and the cryo project

I think I see. As established at the beginning of Harrow the Ninth, a living planet's soul is like the collective thalergy of everything that lives on the planet, so I guess it's kind of a gestalt oversoul, where every individual living soul on the planet is part of it? So when a planet is dead, then by definition everything else on it is also dead, since otherwise there would still be a living planet soul of some sort. The fact that John wasn't able to control individual human souls here while Alecto was still alive sort of implies that resurrection, and maybe most kinds of soul magic, are actually impossible on a living planet, if even John can't distinguish between human souls and the planet soul in that context. I guess that means that that kind of stuff would only be possible on an undead planet in the Nine Houses

No, I think that's totally fair, actually

I feel like this is important. Everyone else was killed by someone else. Like, John was 100% responsible for all of this mess, but he didn't actually pull the trigger to kill anyone else, and until this point he still has some plausible deniability, like he was just trying to stop the trillionaires, and he never intended to set off any nukes or kill anyone, he was just stressed and being a bit dumb. But he specifically kills G1deon, who is clearly his most loyal supporter. Like, I think he probably could have talked to G1deon over the phone at this point and been like, hey new plan, we're actually going to let the nuke go off and kill a million people so I can gain godlike power, don't worry I'm gonna figure out how to bring you back to life again using your arm, and I honestly think there's a solid chance that G1deon would have been like, sure thing boss, see you when it's all over. Then it would have been like, consensual, I guess? But he doesn't even do that. He just kills him. Obviously John has just killed people before at this point, and he would also be just killing another million people, but I think it's sort of different for John to just kill a bunch of cops or the population of Melbourne that he doesn't know at all, versus to just kill someone like G1deon, who he's known all his life and is somehow impossibly loyal to him

I'm not feeling this metaphor

Well, that's extremely biblical

So this means that the only reason Alecto survived this in a way that the other cavaliers didn't was because John couldn't entirely consume her soul, or thought he couldn't. And I guess he just decided it was too complicated to figure out how to do this with a human soul, and a necromancer who doesn't have all that power at hand at that moment?

So this is what Hollywood Hair Barbie looks like, apparently:

Maybe it's just the angle of the photo, but she doesn't seem to have quite as freakish proportions as the barbies I grew up with, which is good. For a moment I was imagining 8-foot-tall Alecto who is 75% legs and it was terrifying

What is the "shaman" a reference to, here?

So ultimately, John's powers came from Alecto originally, when she was still alive as the soul of Earth - it's implied throughout the story that necromancy comes from exposure to thanergy, but this obviously wasn't the case for John's specific flavor of necromancy, but he is definitely making use of thanergy to do what he does. So why did Alecto have the ability to give someone necromancy powers, that make use of death energy, rather than say, something the primarily makes use of life energy/thalergy which would probably be more useful and not incentivize killing ten billion people to gain more power?

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth

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lazarushound · 2 months

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The Official lazarushound Dean Winchester Playlist

Okay so this playlist is a big deal to literally no one except me but I spent like two hours explaining every single song on my dean playlist and I'll be damned if I don't share it with SOMEONE.

The playlist in question, which I update and add songs too fairly often(ish). It's roughly arranged in order of Dean's story, from pre-canon to the finale. A fair few of the songs are courtesy of catgirlhannibal, whom I adore.

Warning that is is a VERY LONG READ and almost definitely is plagued with typos. Without further ado, here is the 9.5k word explanation of every single song (at time of posting) on the playlist. Call that shit explicable Dean Winchester vibes, complete with my favourite lyrics from each song.

• Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Dean's favourite song! The whole song is basically about having no choice but to keep going, even when things are tough. It's also actually about LOTR which is funny cause Dean's secretly a nerd lol. But yeah, it reflects a lot on Dean's nature as a traveller and someone who never settles in one place for long. Sometimes I grow so tired but I know I've got one thing I've got to do - I ramble on.

• Travelling Riverside Blues - Led Zeppelin

Dean's other favourite song! Probably not a popular reading of this song but for me, it definitely has a level of queer coding. Asked sweet mama, let me be your kid, she said "you might get hurt if you don't keep it hid" is the most obvious example of it.

• Psalms 40:2 - The Mountain Goats

Very biblical song lol. It's a lot about small town America (as many TMG songs are) and shitty motels which resonates with Dean pretty heavily. Not to mention: He has raised me from the pit and set me high.

• Night Moves - Bob Segar

This one is literally in the show so naturally reminds me of him. But it's about a teenage romance which definitely makes me think of young Dean. I mean, come on: out in the backseat of my '60 Chevy when the man drives a '67 Chevy??

• Father - The Front Bottoms

A few songs on this playlist are pretty much only there for one or two lines. This is not one of them. I could write another essay about this song and how it relates to Dean, every fucking line. You were high school, and I was just more like real life, and you were okay as a girlfriend, but I was just more like his wife 😮‍💨

• Old Number Seven - The Devil Makes Three

This is another song I'm pretty convinced was written about Dean. Once played it on guitar and my dad asked if it was about him so that's all the validation I needed. Angels start to look good to me, they're gonna have to deport me to the fiery deep.

• Mission - Alex G

This song to me is very much pre canon/season one Dean. It's all about following orders and being a good soldier, much like Dean's devotion to his father. I was trained to stick to the mission, I was trained, I kept it on track. To me, Mission has a slightly bitter tone, as though the narrator is resentful that they've followed orders so obediently and only suffered as a result.

• Adam Raised a Cain - Bruce Springsteen

Courtesy of catgirlhannibal. What a surprise, another biblical song. Dean sees himself as nothing more than a soldier, violent and aggressive. He sees his father as a hero, despite the fact that he's an abusive bastard. Well, daddy worked his whole life for nothing but pain, now he walks these empty rooms looking for something to blame.

• Shoulders - Big Thief

Okay, I'd argue this song is more akin to Sam than Dean but fuck you, this is my playlist and I choose the music. And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hands, it's in me, it's in me, in my veins is obviously related to Sam and Azazel but also to Dean and John, as though Dean comes to realise that he's just like his father.

• Celene - Gigi Perez

End of season two! This song is about losing a sibling and is very much the mindset I pictured Dean to be in after losing Sam for the first time. I'd also argue it's how Dean felt when Sam was at Stanford. The other day I thought of something funny, but no one would have laughed but you.

• Like Real People Do - Hozier

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? HELLOOO CASTIEL! Very season four Destiel, those boys will NOT kiss like real people do.

• It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

Okay so post-resurrection Dean is VERRRRRY traumatised which makes it difficult for him to enjoy the things he used to love, including sex. This song is also about his struggle over his feelings for Cas: what happens if I don't like it? I like you.

• Not Allowed - TV Girl

Well, you may not like it but you better learn how cause it's your turn now! Very much following on from It's Only Sex, similar themes in this song but more relating to Dean's insistence on keeping up The Act and pretending he's the same man he was before Hell.

• Presumably Dead Arm - Sidney Gish

Second catgirlhannibal song to make the list. Just to start this off, this isn't the start of anything. To me, this whole song is Dean skirting around his feelings for Cas and trying to pretend they don't exist in hopes they go away eventually. They don't. Honey, you are nothing to me, (but alcohol and dopamine)/(I don't call people anything thought to be so sweet).

• Tangled in Ropes - Holy Locust

I literally wrote a whole essay about this one so I'll keep it short with just the best lyric. Had a laugh made of wax, house made of butter, how they melted that summer.

• Hate Yourself - TV Girl

If there's one thing we've learned about Dean Winchester, it's that the man loves to use sex as a means to avoid his problems. How long will it take? Before you start to hate yourself and go straight into the arms of someone else is just straight up Dean struggling to give himself time to grieve and overcome his trauma. He'd rather just hookup with someone else and pretend it doesn't make him hate himself more and more every time.

• Cherry Wine - Hozier

See: my whole essay about this song and Destiel. And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.

• Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus

Another catgirlhannibal song! I see you holding your breath with your arms outstretched, waiting for someone to come rip open your chest. This song to me feels like Dean kicking himself for every trusting Cas, after Cas betrays him for the first time. To accept Cas as his family was going against his every instinct to close himself off from outsiders, and Cas just proved him right by betraying him.

• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridges

Okay this one is basically just for I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid lol. It just perfectly encapsulates Dean, bitter and resentful towards Cas whilst simultaneously missing him so much his heart aches.

• I'm Your Man - Mitski

Oh, woof. Continuing the betrayal arc, this song is all about Dean's guilt. It's his fault Cas fell from Heaven, his fault this angel isn't holy anymore. I'm sorry I'm the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again.

• Not Strong Enough - Boygenius

Where do I start? Always an angel, never a god 😮‍💨 I think if you played this song to Dean it would break him a little bit. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!!!

• Legit Tattoo Gun - The Front Bottoms

I was aware of this song but catgirlhannibal brought to my attention that it's Destiel coded 🧐 Who did I think I was? Who did I think that I could be? Oh, how dare me. Dean just kicking himself for ever thinking he could allow himself to have something with Cas.

• SHALLOW (PPL SWIM IN SHALLOW WATER) - Saya Gray

Okay, this one is a bit of a "hear me out." I'm seeing Mother Mary, she says I'm closer to Hell than the clouds are to Heaven. Dean's mother is called Mary so she's LITERALLY Mother Mary which scratches my brain very nicely. Obviously Dean sees himself as a sinner and doomed for Hell, despite the fact that he's a hero. And I left my enemies, cause nobody hates myself more than me, GOOD LORD DOES THAT MAN LOVE SOME SELF LOATHING. My mother's evil and the angels too is soooooo self explanatory. Dean has an idealistic version of Mary in his head which is challenged when she comes back to life and he interacts with her as an adult. There's also the fact that real angels aren't as "good" as you'd think. Sometimes I don't think I'm cherished enough.

• John Wayne Gacy, Jr. - Sufjan Stevens

This song is an allegory for being gay. The narrator sees himself as evil, just as bad as the serial killer for which the song is named, just because he's gay. And in my best behaviour, I am really just like him, look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid.

• Always - Panic! At the Disco

Another one that is less obvious without me explaining it lol. The light in this song is a reference to the Great Gatsby which is a whole other queer coded story in its own right. But I always (hehe) picture this song as Dean struggling with Cas' feelings for him which are becoming more and more evident. It was always you falling for me particularly stands out to me, along with you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card.

• Star Tripping - Kevin Atwater

Okay I looooooove love this song. But it's another song which relates to God and being queer. It's about a very toxic relationship, in which one person is relatively okay with their sexuality and the other is incredibly repressed (seem familiar?). I could use any lyric from this song but I'll go with: you think He made you wrong, I think you're giving Him way too much credit, crying at the party, know it only bothers you if you let it, later you can kiss me, blame it on the stuff you took to forget it.

• The Calendar - Panic! At The Disco

Another Panic! song 💀 also from vices and virtues. Another "hear me out." There's the more obvious I will come back to life but only for you but I also think the rest of the song relates pretty strongly to Destiel. You said if you don't let it out, you're gonna let it eat you away, I'd rather be a cannibal baby, animals like me don't talk anyway. For me, it strongly resembles Dean's view of himself, an attack dog. Cannibalism as a metaphor for love. And obviously that man loves to repress stuff and let it eat him away, so to speak.

• Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo

Lawd. This song has a lot of queer subtext in and of itself. It's all about adoring someone to the point where you become insecure because you know you'll never be as good as them. The song is bitter and resentful whilst simultaneously loving and adoring. I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you, yeah I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you. He hates himself because he loves Cas. HE HATES HIMSELF BECAUSE HE LOVES CAS.

• Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

Dean does not let himself have nice things. Lord knows, it would be the first time. This song feels pretty self explanatory to me lol.

• Feeling Oblivion - Turin Brakes

Okay this is my favourite song of all time so I'm slightly biased for including it HOWEVER. I feel it also applies to Dean pretty well. We're now at the point in the story where Dean is about to/has already lost Cas. This song invokes an incredibly deep feeling of nostalgia for me, like looking back on when things were better. Now it is night time, maybe we're cruising avoiding the anti-cruise, like tell me this isn't Dean and Cas just driving around Kansas cause Dean can't sleep 😭 and don't even get me fucking started on so don't leave me here on my own, by the time fear takes me over, will we still be rolling? Feeling oblivion cause this song makes me cry every time I hear it I stg.

• Who We Are - Hozier

Poor Dean :( bro has just lost his best friend, and is now realising that he'll never be able to tell him how he felt. It's like he's seeing things plainly for the first time, realising what he's been missing. He never had Cas because they spent so long avoiding their relationship, and now it's too late. You only feel it when it's lost, getting through still has its cost, quietly, it slips through your fingers, love, falling from you drop by drop.

• Crack Baby - Mitski

I don't know if I really need to say more than: crack baby, you don't know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and you know that you want it back.

• Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

This is another song that's in the show (dark side of the moon, I love you) so naturally reminds me of Dean. It might be a bit on the nose putting it right at the end but it just feels like Dean finally letting himself rest (die of tetanus). Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them anymore.

#supernatural #cw supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #dean and cas #destiel #spotify playlist #character playlist #playlist

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bricky-brikson · 4 months

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I am perfectly normal about the Psychonauts timeline

Spoiler warning for...everything.

As I was playing Psychonauts 2, I had a vibe that Ford and the Psychic Seven were active during the late 1920s, early 1930s, mostly because of the Model T Ford in Cruller's Correspondence, but also because of the biplane in the diorama of Ford fighting Maligula from Fatherland Follies. But there were some issues with that - namely the Feel Mobile which resembles more a model of van released around 1964. I feel compelled to mention it looks like the Motherlobe is trapped in the 70s, technology-wise.

So I looked up the timeline on the Psychonauts fandom wiki, as well as the blurb from Psychonauts about the history of Whispering Rock. And while clicking through the wiki, I found a copy of the Li-Po document, which contains the following line:

[...] when [Ford Cruller] was [...] away fighting for the Lincoln Brigade in the Spanish Civil War [...]

Firstly, based.

Secondly, that means Ford had to be at least 16* by 1937 (when American volunteers were sent to Spain). At least if we are to believe that this...very specific part of the Li-Po document is still canon. Which...I mean, we could. We know Ford was already an adult when he assembled the Psychic Seven, but we don't know how old he was. From the looks of him in the mental vaults and illustrations, he was definitely older than 16 (considering the full moustache). Meaning that it is possible Ford spent his younger years fighting in the Lincoln Brigade, then when he matured started looking more into his and others' psychic powers.

Possible? Yes. Plausible? Ehhh...considering the story of Psychonauts 2 is deeply tied to the trauma the Psychic Seven endured surrounding the Grulovian Civil War then the Deluge of Grulovia, I doubt that Ford's previous involvement in a very bloody battalion (22.5% of Lincoln Battalion fighters died in the Spanish Civil War) would have gone unmentioned. Since it makes no appearance in Psychonauts 2, I think it's safe to say it's no longer canon.

So where does that leave us? With the only statement from the devs (specifically Tim Schafer himself) that points us towards a date for the game's events:

"We think of it as taking place in the 80's but not necessarily the 80's, in case we need a piece of technology that we're stealing from the 90's."

So...that leaves us with a year range of 1980 to 1999. However, if technology is an issue (specifically, taking place during the 80s but needing some tech from the 90s), that means the game probably takes place in the late 80s, early 90s. I interpret this as being between 1987 and 1993. So, we've narrowed it down! Based on my arbitrary definition of "late" and "early"!**

Is there any way to narrow it down further? Unfortunately, not from what I can find - the tech we see in the Motherlobe is more reminiscent of the 60s and 70s (the computers we see on peoples' desks and in Sasha's lab look akin to a Xerox Alto, which came out in 1973), and I don't know enough about the history of other technology we see in-game to infer information about the timeline. If someone else has knowledge about things I may have missed that point us towards a date, please reblog and let me know!

Now, before I get into what I see as the timeline, I do want to address Maloof's line when you release him from the GPC.

"Nah, the staff hasn't put any kids in the GPC since the fifties."

Which goes against the timeline written on the log in the parking lot (which states that Whispering Rock Summer Camp was only created 5 years ago). I'm leaning more toward the written lore, since it's entirely possible Maloof is misinformed. After all, this is his first time at the camp. It's entirely possible Bobby (or another camper) has been lying to Maloof about the history of the staff's use of the GPC. For this reason, I'm disregarding this conflicting bit of evidence.

So! On to the actual timeline - at least, what I think it is. Starting from the beginning and working our way to the present day. I will represent the dates as a range, so "1987 - 1993" means "between 1987 and 1993." It doesn't mean that whatever event took place took that long, just that it happened at some point within that range. Good? Good! Let's go.

Brick's Speculative Psychonauts Timeline

1487 - 1493: A psitanium meteor strikes the area that will eventually be known as Whispering Rock, leaving behind a psitanium deposit.

1787 - 1793: A local indigenous group starts working with the psitanium, creating the arrowheads found in the first game, and names the area Whispering Rock (just, in their language, not English)

1887 - 1893: The mining town of Shaky Claim is established as part of the gold rush, except they're mining for psitanium. The psitanium deposit severely worsens the mental health of the people there.

1888 - 1894: The first case of 'Paranormal Hysteria' diagnosed in Shaky Claim.

1912 - 1918: Houston Thorney constructs Thorney Towers Home for the Disturbed. Ford Cruller is born.

1927 - 1933: Houston Thorney commits suicide. The town's population is less than the amount of patients in Thorney Towers.

1932 - 1938: Thorney Towers Home for the Disturbed is closed but some patients still remain. The remaining residents of the valley leave and the area is flooded, resulting in Lake Oblongata.

[At some point, Ford assembles the Psychic Seven]

1967 - 1973: The Psychic Six fight Maligula. Grulovia is flooded then trapped below the frozen floodwaters. Helmut Fullbear is presumed dead. Shortly thereafter, Ford uses the Astralathe to modify the memories of Lucretia and Augustus, then to break his own mind.

[At some point, Charlie Psycho Delta is established then swiftly abandoned]

1982 - 1988: Whispering Rock Summer Camp is established.

1987 - 1993: The events of Psychonauts, Psychonauts: The Rhombus of Ruin, and Psychonauts 2 take place all within about a week (and that's being generous).

So there! That's what I think the timeline is. Again, if you have any feedback or want to point out something I missed, please let me know! I'm new to the games/lore/fandom so 'tis entirely possible!

The implications of this timeline are...interesting. The fact that during the fight with Maligula, something that was supported by multiple countries, they're using planes from the 1910s when it's at least 1967...the world of the Psychonauts isn't less technologically advanced - they have a jet that rivals ones from 2024! So I have no clue what that biplane is doing in Gristol's memory of the fight with Maligula. Unless we consider Gristol an unreliable narrator for that detail - but even then I'm unsure why he wouldn't have assumed they were using modern technology...? IDK. It's weird.

Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for reading! I'm flattered. I always love picking apart lore and timeline details like this, no matter the fandom I'm in. So consider this my hello to the Psychonauts fandom :-)

*According to the Wikipedia page for the Lincoln Battalion, that's probably the youngest any American volunteers were. ** The way I see it: if it ends in 1/2/3, it's early. If it ends in 4/5/6, it's mid. if it ends in 7/8/9, it's late.

#my dad is a warplane nerd and he helped me identify the biplane #irl biplanes like that were used as late as the 1940s since they had more manoeuvrability than the faster jets #but by the 60s/70s there were definitely a variety of planes that would fill the 'slower but better movement' niche #and it cant be because grulovia doesnt have the tech - cause the psychic six weren't working with grulovia !#they were called in by the international community !!!#so for some reason the international community gave them planes that were at least twenty years old to fight this new terrifying foe !!!!!!#what is going on !!!!!!!!!!!#anyway. i was having a hella breakdown (/positive) over this last night. but putting in in clean form like this helps me figure things out-#-in my brain #also the fact shaky claim was established as part of the gold rush implies a location somewhere on the west coast #considering the devs are in california im guessing whispering rock is also in california #psychonauts #psychonauts rhombus of ruin #psychonauts 2 #brick wall #ford cruller #because i talk about him a decent amount

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sineala · 8 months

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what are ur must read comics for tony ? i want to read more of him but idk where to start

Unfortunately, for Tony, unlike Steve, there isn't really a comic I can hand people and say "just read this if you want to start reading Iron Man comics and know where Tony came from and what Tony is like." (For Steve, this is Captain America: Man Out of Time.) There isn't a similar newbie-friendly retelling of Tony's origin story with modern art and a modern sensibility -- at least, not one that I would recommend, because Iron Man: Season One is… not set in 616 and is not a whole lot like like the events of canon.

(This took me very long to get around to, and in the meantime you might also like the more Tony-centric entries in my recent Steve/Tony comics recs post.)

So the answer to this question, I would say, depends on how familiar you are with comics in general, and specifically if you know you like reading older comics. Because comics nowadays are very different than older comics, and a lot of people who start reading comics now don't like the older comics when they try to go back to them. The art is different, and the style of narrative is different, and the pacing is different, and also the farther back you go the more likely you are to find something that is sexist and racist as fuck. Some of the early 60s stuff especially can be… not great. (Not that all modern comics are entirely free of this, but, like, I'd like to think that by now we've stopped publishing comics with literal yellowface.)

And the thing is that most of the classic, must-read storylines that I'd point to and be like "yeah, this is an important comic to read to understand Tony," well… they're all older comics.

But I'm recommending them anyway, and you can try a few to see if you like them. I'm putting the dividing point between old and new at the end of volume 1 (1996); some people will say that volume 3 (1998) is not modern enough for them, but I think the storytelling and pacing is modern enough that it should count.

Anyway, here's some volume 1 recs.

The classics:

Tales of Suspense #39: This is the first Iron Man comic. There are later retellings, but this is the original, so you might as well. He is wounded! He has to wear the chestplate forever in order to stay alive! I recommend one of the modern recolorings for, uh. Obvious reasons.

The Senate hearing arc (ToS #84): You should probably start a few issues before this, maybe around ToS #80, because the issues all just run into each other in one continuous storyline. If it turns out you like the extreme melodrama of ToS and you can handle the general Problematic nature of a lot of the plots (there will be more evil Communists than you can shake a hammer and sickle at), you can go back and read some of the other stuff, but this is the arc that is probably the most famous, because #84 is the issue where Tony testifies about the Iron Man technology at a Senate hearing and has a heart attack right there in the Senate.

Tony's first artificial heart (Iron Man #17-19): In case you're wondering when Tony stops having to wear the chestplate, it happens here, in an extremely bonkers arc where Tony makes an LMD of himself who promptly tries to replace him, meaning that Tony has to wander around sadly in the rain and jump his heart off a car battery. He is then kidnapped by people who think they are kidnapping the LMD to force him to do evil. This is actually Madame Masque. It all culminates in him suiting up in the Model 1 armor to fight the LMD in his newest armor, and the old armor doesn't have enough power to run the armor and his heart at the same time, so guess which one he picks. Anyway, he has a massive heart attack and gets an artificial heart implanted.

Demon in a Bottle (Iron Man #120-128): Skipping way way way ahead to the late 70s/early 80s, this is the arc that makes Tony an alcoholic, and it's a classic of the Layton/Michelinie run.

Doomquest (Iron Man #149-150): This is the arc that establishes Doctor Doom as a villain of Tony's, and features both of them time-traveling to Camelot. It's great. (Layton and Michelinie come back for a sequel in #249-250, and then a much later sequel to that in the miniseries Iron Man: Legacy of Doom, which is one of the absolute weirdest IM miniseries I have ever read and features Doom penetrating Tony with Excalibur.)

The second drinking arc (Iron Man #160-200): This is Denny O'Neil's run and it is, IMO, a much better storyline about Tony's alcoholism, and it is absolutely my favorite classic Iron Man storyline. But it also is definitely a comic from the 80s so you should decide if you're up for that kind of storytelling. This is the one where Tony starts drinking again and loses absolutely everything he has (his money, his friends, his home, being Iron Man) and lives on the streets and nearly dies, and then he works his way back up. This is also where Obadiah Stane comes from.

Armor Wars (Iron Man #225-232): Layton and Michelinie come back for a second run in the late 80s, and Armor Wars is pretty much universally agreed to be the highlight of their run. Tony starts stealing his technology back from villains using it for evil. Then he starts stealing it back from literally everyone, including the government, who is not real thrilled.

I realize there's like a hundred more issues of volume 1 but you can probably skip them. The early 90s were sure A Time for comics. Some of Len Kaminski's run has some good backstory, and if you read anything you will probably want to read #313, which is about Tony going to AA and talking about his childhood.

Then we've got the modern stuff. If you try the older stuff and bounce off the art style, I'd recommend Extremis, which most people find readable and has lovely art by Adi Granov, although admittedly I prefer Busiek's Iron Man run for its characterization of Tony.

You will note that there's about ten years here where I am only recommending miniseries and that's because I honestly don't believe there's been a really good Iron Man ongoing since the Knaufs left at the end of v4 and Duggan's current run. So that's, what, twelve years? It's been a long time since we've had good Iron Man comics.

(I will grudgingly additionally recommend Bendis & Maleev's International Iron Man, because I think it's a really good story about Tony searching for his biological parents, but you do NOT want to read any other storyline about Tony being adopted because the rest of them are… bad… and pretty much thoroughly establish that none of Tony's family, biological or adoptive, with the possible exception of Maria, ever cared about him in the slightest, so that's kind of a downer.)

Here are my slightly more recent picks:

Kurt Busiek's Iron Man run (Iron Man v3 #1-25): This is one of my favorite Iron Man runs and I would definitely recommend it as a starting point. Busiek's runs on Iron Man and Avengers (which he was also writing at this time) are basically love letters to The Way Comics Used To Be, so his Avengers run has the Avengers all living in the mansion and being friends (this is the last time they lived in the mansion), and his Iron Man run features Tony being a more updated version of the character he started out as, which is basically the fantasy of the ethical billionaire who sincerely wants to use all his money to do good in society and help people out. It's worth reading the first issue to see if you like it. I think it's really great. Also there's a lot of whump.

The rest of Iron Man v3: There are about 60 more issues of Iron Man in volume 3 after Busiek leaves the book, and they continue the same characterization even if not all of it is quite as good as Busiek. Highlights include the Sentient Armor arc (you have probably heard about the Sentient Armor), both DreamVision arcs (featuring Tiberius Stone), and even more whump with the arc Manhunt, in which Tony gets shot three times, poisoned, attacked with missiles, and then has to go fight the Mandarin, all while being on the run from the government because he's been framed for bombing an embassy and everyone hates him.

Extremis (Iron Man v4 #1-6): I would say that Extremis here is when Marvel really started to try to make Iron Man cool. This is a good jumping-on point for a few reasons -- it doesn't require you to know anything about anything, the art is pretty, and it recaps Tony's origin story in a way that will probably be a little more recognizable to MCU fans, plus Extremis would later be part of IM3. The thing about Extremis is that it actually gives Tony superpowers, which is either good or bad depending on how you feel about this; I will say that it's a massive departure from the way Tony has been written the entire rest of his existence, in that the fact that he is a regular human (occasionally with a lot of disabilities) is important to his storyline, and reading this as your very first Iron Man comic means you won't really be aware of how unusual this is for him.

The rest of Iron Man v4: This is kind of a conditional rec, as it really only makes sense to keep going in v4 if you're planning on reading Civil War, because the rest of v4 hinges on it. There's an arc that leads up to Civil War (Execute Program), then the Civil War tie-ins, then Director of SHIELD. DoS has some excellent angst for Tony, but it's also very much about him being the director of SHIELD -- he doesn't do his usual rich-person stuff. So if you want a run where he does the things you expect him to do, it's not that one.

Iron Man: Legacy: A miniseries consisting of two short arcs; for all that they're supposed to be set at specific points in canon, they're pretty readable and they've got some fun panels that you will often see reposted -- Tony on a winged horse with a lance, Tony falling right into a dumpster, an LMD of Tony dressed in a French maid outfit and painting Pepper's nails. It's cute.

Iron Age: Technically most of this takes place in the past but you don't need to know anything. Tony timetravels through his past and has some entertaining adventures with a bunch of random characters while trying to save the world which is ending and it's all his fault. Features a panel of Tony crying sadly in the rain and also him accidentally hitting on his past self.

Iron Man: Fatal Frontier: This one is so much fun. So much fun! This is a miniseries where Tony makes friends with a Soviet robot on the moon, becomes sheriff of the moon, plays all the parts in a heist, and defeats a villain by using hurt/comfort fanfic.

Any time Ryan North gets to write Tony: Ryan North studied computational linguistics and it shows. He's just really good at writing Tony as a great big nerd with a great big heart who always wants to do the right thing. I recommend all the Tony cameos in The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, the issue of Marvel Comics Presents (#7) where Tony tries to punch the 2007 financial crisis, Darkhold Iron Man (if you like body horror; I can't read this), and the recent Secret Invasion miniseries.

Any time Jed MacKay gets to write Tony: He just really has a good read on Tony's attitude, and he's currently writing Avengers, where Tony is on the team; I'd also recommend his work on the Iron Man and Avengers 2021 (Infinite Destinies) annuals.

Gerry Duggan's current Iron Man run: This is literally the best Iron Man run I have read since I got into this fandom. He absolutely nails Tony's character AND he's done the reading, which means that my brain has been screaming AAAAAAAA nonstop since I read the last issue where Tony was heavily concussed and having several pages of flashbacks where he thinks he's still stuck in the blizzard from IM #182 and dying. AAAAAAAA.

Hope that helps!

#replies #zeirnpf

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