#Unfortunately there are no abandoned malls near me
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Oh nooo
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𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧
ft. Katsuki Bakugo x Shoto Todoroki x Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader
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F/n didn’t realize someone was following her until after she got knocked out when she had entered an abandoned mall. She couldn’t believe she had let her guard down and was frustrated with herself when she passed out.
She figured all the stress about her friends' whereabouts was getting to her. Now, she could feel herself rocking back and forth as the car drove. She couldn’t see from the blindfold and the people who were kidnapping her covered her ears with headphones that played music. They also closed her mouth with tape which annoyed the girl.
She tried keeping still until she felt herself being tugged out of the car and then being slammed onto the ground. Her head pounded as she let out a muffle grunt. The headphones were knocked out and she could hear her surroundings.
“Name?” A man spoke.
“Don’t know.” Another one spoke.
She could hear scribbling as the first man spoke, “Doesn’t look much like a fighter. What did she have with her?”
“Not much.” She heard rattling and her duffel bag plopping next to her, “A couple of canned food, a gun with little ammo and a knife.”
“Her condition?” Again the first man spoke.
“Stable. No bites or scratches. Just dirt and blood.”
She then heard someone else speaking, “Oh, but she does have a healed wound near her lower back and a scar on her ear.”
The man stopped writing and glanced at F/n then his partners, “Show me.”
One of the men bent down and pulled F/n’s shirt up which caused her to stir as the action unsettled her. She then felt someone move her hair and the breeze hitting her healed ear.
She heard the man who wrote let out a frustrated sigh, “Alright, toss her with the other ones. Ain’t worth much for her scars.”
“Well…her beauty could be worth something. Maybe wash the dirt off her.” The second male spoke.
It was quiet before she felt the blindfold be removed. She glared at the man with the notebook as he stared right back at her. The man smiled darkly at her, “Well, maybe you’re right.”
He then signaled something to his mens as he put the blindfold back on and the feeling of something hard hitting her head caused her to black out once more. She could feel her body being dragged and the dirt prickling her skin before she faded.
Sighing, he cleaned his wound. He was content as the bullet wound seemed to be getting better from the clean and unused medical supplies. He put his dirty shirt back on and peeked out the window where a couple of dead walked by. He watched as they eventually left his view.
Maybe he should leave the building and look for more supplies. That way in case he found his friends, they wouldn’t be starving.
Izuku nodded to himself and began to pack what little left of supplies he had. He then pulled the duffel bag onto his back and left the small restaurant. He slowly opened the door and looked both ways before departing.
He kept low and crouched beside things that could hide him when he saw a dead walking by. The kitchen knife he had wasn’t defensive but it was the only thing he had.
His ears perked up when he heard a car coming by. He was perplexed but quickly headed to a nearby alley and crouched near a dumpster. He watched as a black car drove past slowly as if it were looking for something.
When he no longer heard the car he ventured out the alley and spotted the muddy tracks that the car left behind. He thought for a moment and wondered what would F/n do in this situation. He then made up his mind and followed the tracks carefully.
After what seemed like minutes, he lost the car's track and let out a small sigh wondering what to do next. He figured he would continue to walk the same direction until he spotted a grocery store. Unfortunately, where he stood, only clothing stores surrounded him. He seemed to be in an outdoor mall.
As he walked further down the street, he spotted a map. He was indeed in an outdoor mall. He let out a content sound and smiled as he found he was near another restaurant. His smile then faded as he heard footsteps near him.
He stood still and listened intently, but the sound of rushing footsteps and gun cocking made him quickly turn around and lift his weapon. Just in time, he dodged as a gun came into view. He stepped to his left as a man came at him.
He was hesitant to use his knife on a living as the man kept trying to harm him. But his thoughts were pushed back when he noticed something. It didn’t seem like the man was trying to kill him, instead it seemed like the man was trying to knock him out as he held the gun wrong, the magazine kept aiming at his face.
Izuku then noticed how the man's eyes kept shifting behind him. He then knew he wasn’t alone as he heard a grunt behind him. Izuku moved out of the way as another man came into view. He lifted his weapon as the two unidentified men came at him.
Izuku wanted to run as he swung his knife at them. He didn’t want to kill them but he knew that if he did run then the two would chase after him or probably murder him. He cursed himself for being so nice and still having morals in a cruel world.
As the brunette whipped out his knife, Izuku swung his knife at him and managed to impale his arm before swiftly moving out of the way as the other male came at him. The greenette heard the brunette howl in pain and angrily curse as he clutched his arm.
The other uninjured male glared at Izuku as he came in charging. Izuku lifted his fist ready to hit but the man was much bigger and slammed them both into a clothing store that was behind them.
They slammed into a window and glass shattered around them. Izuku groaned as well as the other male. As the other male got up Izuku scanned his surroundings and picked up a glass shard.
His palm drew blood the more pressure Izuku added as the big male came at him. It wasn’t until a little after that Izuku forgot about the brunette and felt pain on his head as he fell on his knees.
“About damn time.” The male said, “Kid had some guts.”
“Shut up.” Izuku heard the brunette. “Damn kid fucking stabbed me. I don’t want a player like that on our team.”
Izuku tried getting up but he was knocked out by the brunette hitting him with the gun. Before he lost consciousness, he heard the tall male sigh, “What a shame. He could’ve been one of us.”
The sound of a car in a very eerie quiet neighborhood caught Shoto’s and Katsuki’s attention. They both stared at each other before racing to the car. They stood out of view as they watched a black car slowly make its way out of the neighborhood.
“Seems like they’re heading into the city.” Shoto said as he noted from a map that the street the car was heading only led into the city.
“Then that’s where we go.” Katsuki said and began to follow the car.
Shoto shook his head, “Even if we do go, the city is huge. That car could go anywhere.”
Katsuki scoffed, “Then we look for a fucking car or something that’ll get us there. Besides, we have guns and ammo. That car would have to be stupid to pull anything.”
Shoto rolled his eyes, “Just because we have guns doesn’t mean they don’t. They could have people and–”
“Listen Icy Hot!” Katsuki stopped and shoved Shoto, “Our best damn shot of finding those two fucking morons is them! If you ever want to see them ag–”
Shoto shoved Katsuki and himself onto the floor. Katsuki glared at Shoto and was about to yell but the dual-haired male signaled him to be quiet and look ahead. Katsuki did and he saw the car halt as the driver and the passenger got out.
Shoto and Katsuki glanced at each other before nodding. They both separated and slowly approached the males in front. While Shoto went after the driver, Katsuki headed for the passenger.
The driver’s back was left open which gave Shoto the opportunity to sneak on him. When he reached the male, Shoto quickly covered his mouth and dragged him onto the floor as the male tried to shake dual-haired off. Shoto hushed him as he pulled his gun to the side of the driver's head, “Just be quiet.”
Katsuki had to go a little farther as the passenger seemed to clear a few dead. When the passenger cleared the dead Katsuki took it as a sign and wrestled the passenger to the ground. He and passenger fought but it was shut down quickly as Katsuki aimed a gun at the males head, “Unless you want your brains splattered don’t fucking move.”
The passenger nodded and was pulled up as Katsuki brought them both to Shoto. Katsuki eyed the dual-haired male as he tied up the driver, “Give me one of those.”
Shoto threw him a Cable tie. When they were both done trying the males Katsuki checked the vehicle's trunk while Shoto questioned the two, “What's in the city?”
The passenger and the driver glared at Shoto. Shoto slightly shook his head at them as if he were scolding a child, “Don’t make this hard. What’s in the city? And I know it isn’t a sanctuary.”
The tied up males didn’t say anything but glare which caused Shoto to let out a sigh. The dual-hair male then eyed Katsuki. Katsuki in return slammed the trunk and made his way to the males.
Not wasting a moment, Katsuki roughly grabbed the driver and aimed a gun at his head as he stared at the passenger, “I will shoot your partner if you don’t answer our damn question. What is in the fucking city?”
The passenger shifted in his seat as the driver desperately looked at him. While Katsuki threatened them, Shoto checked inside the car. He opened the glove compartment and spotted a map.
Scanning the map, Shoto gave it to Katsuki, “They have a camp near the city.”
“Get them in the damn car. I’ll drive.” Katsuki said to Shoto.
With the males in the back, Shoto and Katsuki sat in the front. They had gagged the males in case they tried to scream or alert anyone nearby. As Katsuki drove and entered the city, Shoto checked the arm rest. He opened and his brows raised as he saw a few polaroids.
His eyes then widened as he saw the gruesome pictures. He turned around and faced the tied up males, “What the fuck is this!?”
“What?” Katsuki questionably eyed him. Shoto handed them to him and Katsuki slammed the brakes. His eyes widened when he saw what appeared to be body parts that had been amputated. The blonde scanned every picture.
Heads were lined up, a few on spikes. There were carts where some had legs, others had arms and the others had torsos. A room seemed to be a bloody mess as bodies hung from the ceiling. A few people were kneeled as a man stood behind them with a machete. A child was even in one.
The pictures were chilling as Katsuki scrolled through more. He turned around and eyed the males with a widened glare. Shoto’s gun cocked in his hand.
#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#izuku midoria x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x y/n#shoto x y/n#bnha midoriya#todoroki shoto x reader#todoroki x reader
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Dream Log 185
This one was disturbingly creepy so I'm just posting it now to rob it of its power so I can get back to sleep. Dictated but barely read via phone text to speech at 4:08 a.m. I will fix all the errors in the morning. also it's a long one lol.
It was fest. For some reason this year one of the venues was in an abandoned shopping mall. also unrelated detail but for some reason at fest this year all the fratbros at the college in gainesville were doing their pledges or whatever so there were lots of hot guys wearing barely any clothes walking around everywhere lol. The venue that was in the old shopping mall had its own entrance so it was really no reason to go to any other part of the mall but it was raining so a lot of people were just kind of hanging out there. I decided to go by the food court and see if I can find something to eat. McDonald's was closed Burger King was closed Taco Bell was closed but I noticed that there was a Chuck e cheese and it did not have a closed sign and the door was open so I thought I'd see if I could find a slice of pizza. the first bad sign was that the Chuck e cheese was at the bottom of a long narrow stairway with different levels coming off of it that you could sit at a table and eat at kind of like the rows of seating at a movie theater but with tables and a much lower ceiling. nobody was there And it was very poorly lit but I thought well its ok it is 2pm on a Friday in a half abandoned Mall it's probably not peak hours. I got near the bottom and looked off to my side and lying on the ground was the Chuck e cheese suit. nobody in it just an empty costume lying on the floor. It began to slowly inflate, and the head turned to stare at me. I thought okay that's creepy and started running up the stairs. At this point I knew horror movie mechanics would kick in and if I looked behind me it would chase me but as long as I never looked behind me or stopped running until I got to a large, well lit, populated area I would be fine but the stairway was a lot longer going back up than it was going down. finally I made it to the top and ran to the other end of the mall and nobody was there and that venue stopped doing shows for the day, I had to keep running all the way to the central part of fest. fortunately it had quit raining, so I kept running to the town square in Gainesville which was only two blocks away (The mall was where the big parking garage behind five star is in real life the town square was bo diddley plaza but it looked different) and there were enough people there that I thought it was safe to finally look behind me and there was nothing there I was safe. for some reason Gainesville had a subway system and as I passed by one of the entrances to the subway I could see that powerful rat slowly, menacingly, climbing the stairs coming toward me. My next thought in the dream was "when you wake up don't open your eyes until you turn the lights on in your room" and then I woke up feeling very unsettled and obviously I didn't open my eyes until I turned the lights on in my room fortunately I can do that for my bed.
Then I reached for my phone to make this post so that I can forget about it and go back to sleep. This was an unfortunate departure from the dreams I've had the last few nights that have involved sex things with friends maybe I'll have one of those now to make up for it lol.
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my stupid ed diary , part 6
october, 1
i may be ugly but at least my toys think i am cool and stylish
october, 2
today me and my parents went to the mall. dad bought me super cool sweater (purple with black and acid green anime picture, i dont usually watch anime but these colors and their combination is fave). after that we bought food, drinks and other items. i bought a big roll of duct tape cuz i often use this thing. On the way back it started to rain heavily. we waited some time in the car after we arrived, we ate fine spicy chips i bought and waited till the downpour became weaker. we spend this sunday, you know, like a family. but i overate this day.
october, 3
i trought that i went over my calorie intkake limit because i ate some pastry. but then i recalled that i ate nothing before it and i fit. i didnt failed today!
october, 4
the hunger crumps in my stomach are somehow sweet unpleasantly like a smell of a corpse. am i rotting inside?
october, 5
i went outside to buy something. the weather was bad (sunny). i bought many zero drinks and not big pack of chips, also ive got icecream, bun and mint popsicles i use when i have a sore throat - this autumn and winter will be cold. i walked a little, then sat near the broken fountain with tiles. now its just a pool with rainwater. some little boys were throwing chestnuts at the fountain, it was funny.
all evening i drank cola and watched photos and videos about david tower in caracas and kowloon walled city, it was so interesting.
at night i had little workout when cracking a pile of walnuts. unfortunately i ate some of them. also i drank a can of coffee cola and it was too much i guess bc i get the wery weird state of mind. it was a bit of dissociation, numbness and soooo restless. i twitched to some funny breakcore music and it helped but the rest of the time i felt numbness in a few body parts. all the time i replaced files and cleaned space on my laptop and planned to clean my room (perhaps i dont know how to do it). i feel determined about weightloss, about tiding. i dont want to sleep but i may need to. now im switching on some eraldo bernocchi and try to at least lay calmly listening to calming noises.
october, 6
this is not my land. may land is unreal here now. my heart is unreal here
october, 7
pancakes. too many.
why everything is so stupid? really, everything is so stupid, i dont know, everything is so fuckin stupid
october, 8
just spend all money on sodas and energy drinks. too many of them. my room already full of tin cans and plastic bottles. also sweets. at least i walked almost 3 hours. id better walk more. but fuck it
october, 9
zero soda is good for pooping =)
october, 10
i just woke up almost at night, ate cake, watched movies and went to sleep again.
also there was russian bombings while i slept and few hours there was no light because of bomb damage but now electricity is back hooray
october, 11
i want the coldest ocean to swallow me and break my dead bodys bones
october, 12
day forgotten. my memory says fuck u
october, 13
i make so many decors from trash and it mostly looks shitty but solarpunks may be proud of me
october, 14
while felt asleep at 6am and woke up at 7:20 pm there was not very much time to eat. perhaps i dont know how i could sleep so long. but its cool
october, 15
another average day i guess, bc i forgot everything I did (AGAIN!)
october, 16
sometimes i make too much tea at night and forget about it(or just dont want it) and then fall asleep. then i woke up in a warm room with few cups of cold tea, strong, black, enjoyable, and ready to be consumed. so good
october, 17
fuck gender shit, fuck everything, im watching monster high movies and enjoying them!
october, 18
i went totally insane and bought TWO bags of chips (rip)
october, 19
weird cold sunny weather. i went out just in denim jacket and was feelin ultracold. i bring all my plants from the balcony to my room. now it looks like those abandoned rooms full of trash, graffitis and overgroved wild plants
october, 20
wow so much sugar, caffeine and gabber music, i am ovErStimUlatEd cAnT sTAnd sTILL bMbMbMbMBM jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjxxxxzz
october, 21
only pack of suspicious spicy corn snacks and little bar and a lot of tasty black tea yeeehaw success (i felt asleep after 5 cups of this tea)
october, 22
fucking anti pain pills doesnt seem to work
october, 23
this house is my fuckin prison
october, 24
daily intake: a lot of black tea and less than a pack of 1% milk. i didnt draw anything, i didnt anything besides of reading a few chapters and some useless articles and watching two and half films (besides doing nothin ive still got too tired to watch the last one till the end)
october, 25
my left hand is still aching from day before yesterday sh cuts. i covered it with napkin and duct tape which leaves lighter stripes on my dirty long time unwashed skin. honestly i dont really regret it.
october, 26
i decide that i need an escape.i want to escape this damned place. i have a friend who live in prague at the moment. she will come here at monday to transmit some cats and i will ride in a foreign country with her. the government will give me a flat somewhere and some money, friend says that this money will be enough for flat and food.i talk with her. it will be very Hard! but not impossible
i am very nervous about this. i was isolated and had troubles with socializing almost all my life and i dont know how i will live. i never was in a foreign country without my parents. the only time i was without them in strange sity was at 2015 when i rode with one guy to lutsk for 1 day to celebrate new year with the company of an unknown guy. fuck it fas fun..
that guy was called taras and i knew his for a few months and mom made him promise that i will be ok. he bought 2 tickets and we took a bus. at some station, the bus stopped and i used one of the most liminal public toilet and almost missed the bus. we listened to new taake album and i was almost frozen at the final bus stop while we were waiting his long haired friend who had a nickname ртуть that means mercury or plumbum. his flat was an average dirty narc flat with dried plant Adolf (its dried branch was "zigheil" btw I don't think that he was racist) and can of mold called iсусич (it would be called jesusson in english lol). the very old broken big tv box was our christmas table, they gave me to drink beer (yucky) and salad olivie (that ex ussr shit made from cheap sausage, mayo, green pea and corn) i hate this salad but plumbum guy wanted me to not be too drunk so i ate a spunful of this s and almost threw up. beside taras and plumbum guy there was one big guy with short black and yellow hair, one boy with a mohawk called misha (the only one younger than me i was 15 or 16 and he was 14 or 15) and one very cute skinny guy named max, also with black and yellow hair but longer and misfits tshirt, he was smoking in the kitchen or sleeping almost all the time. there were also some gals and guy whose i didnt like but they leave the flat before midnight. at night max was sleeping, misha was in wc i guess and a big guy showed us nsfw girls' pics with cum mainly to shock me and then was wondering why im not shocked. then we went out to buy more beer. plumbum guy tried to make us feel high by eye meds and claimed that this new year party sucks. then we all slept on sofas, chairs and mattresses and big guy broke the sofa and claimed that it was max. it was stupid. the morning room had dirty white walls with few black tags and there was hella cold bc someone forgets to close the window, all the air was in smoke. one of the boys made the shittiest macarons ever. I and taras went back to the bus station and all these guys went with us and misha talked that he dreams about pineapple ranch (he didnt even know what a pineapple plant looks like). i have a dull life so this was maybe the best new year in it. and my ideal winter aesthetic is a morning in a strange flat with noisy punk music, cigarette smoke and a snowy landscape in the window
i talked with some of them online some time. taras owe me some money. plumbum guy saw me as a stupid kid and i didnt like it. recently i discovered that he read his poems on some small fest in 2019. misha shaved out a long ago and now looks average. he said that those big guy and plumbum planned some disturbing shit about these minors (us) back then but never did it.
we dont talk for many years now. i dont know anything about their current life and about the other two guys as well.
october, 27
now i have a person in my life who enjoy talking with me online. at least seems to. i hope we will be friends
october, 28
i was taking stoopid uquizes all day long. one of them was like "which lovita cookies are you?" i felt superstrong urge about lovita cookies (these are very tasty ukrainian cookies with chocolate chips, fillings or peanuts) and i couldnt help but ruin my diet plans with it. stooooooooopid
i also talked with danya. he said that everything will be ok. i dont know if i will be able to stay in touch in november with him because my tech is old and bad.
october, 29
masha (my friend in prague) buying tickets for a train. she will come on monday and we will leave this country on tueday or wednesday. i dont know how i will cope. i dont know if i will be able. i know, people cope with situations like this, people succeed but the fact is i am not the people and i am not really ready to live. but i will try. its an opportunity to change my life. it may be the last chance or the last time i dare. i should try.
its weird. all the people run from war and i run from my parents. they dont behave like shitty ones now. i dont know if i will be accepted if somebody discovers that i do it not because of war. but anyway…
i think ill became thinner. there will be things that costs money that ill need more than food. lol. anyway i either eat less than the weeks before for example. idk really
october, 30
masha didnt ansver and was online all day. i thought that there's something bad happen with her but she was just too tired and felt asleep...
october, 31
i am almost ready. i met masha and helped her with cat. she buyed me an energy drink. my breakfast was that drink and nicotine bc she smoked near me. today is the day Im going into the world of ???????s. i don't know if it will be good. i don't know nothing. idk if i can get there internet bc of my tech problems. i thought i will write something pathos cheesy goodbyeish here but fuck it!
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Bonus
I was pondering upon Money, since it’s a Ramadhan holiday, the moslem normally gets some Ramadhan bonus from their job, which equally to 1 month salary.
I don’t have such thing since I am just a freelancer and I am not a boss. But my freelancer maid asked me to give her one. I just thought why should I give her one?
Lemme tell you the reason why I am still thinking about it and not giving her the bonus yet. She has been the best maid so far, she came once a week, or sometimes depending on my time schedule, back then she only came once a month or every 2 weeks.
She was behaving the best in the early years, she never borrowed any money, and doing the job well. But after 2 years working with me, she started borrowing money, but not in a frequent based. Since the pandemic, I couldn’t give her a job cos we’re all too afraid and I only help a little.
This year, she borrowed money literally every month and it's quite bugging me. Because she is always hunt down by the house owner to pay her monthly bills and she is always one month behind. In the past 2 years, the food that she sells on the market near her home didn’t do well. Recently, the oil price is in peak due to the Russia Ukraine War. Yet the food is getting cheaper and cheaper by day, I can feel it cos I’ve been living through online food due to my renovation.
My heart is torn to the situation and she is also keep saying she will return to her hometown for good and taking care of her old mom and the only property she had. She had a son but it’s barely making any money and depending so much on the mother. She felt deep guilty and spoilt the son so much because she was separated with him in his childhood days. The boy grown up without enough love and care from the struggling parents.
The mother’s life has been a series of unfortunate events. She was working in overseas and the agent didn’t pay her salary well. She is always sending money back to the husband yet the husband had an affair, what she got was a sexually transmitted disease and she had to do a surgery back then. Eventually they got divorced, The fatherless son felt he was abandoned by the mom, without father figure, now he is a young man with traumas and mental illness.
Back to the topic why I couldn’t lent her the money was because she pawned her mobile phone. I bought that mobile phone with her 3 years ago in the nearby mall. I gave the mob phone as a bonus. Therefore, I felt quite disappointed. I know she is in need of money but if she sells her mobile phone, how could I contact her? She could have sell other things. I gave a lot of things to her including cooking utensils, clothes and etc. Last time the spoilt son also took over her phone because he always play games and in need of internet. With the poor condition, the son surely didn’t help.
The last time she worked before the holiday, she was begging me for money again to redeem her phone. But I don’t want to give that money, because that money is equal to her monthly house contract. I will lend her a money if it's something to do with the rent, but this is for redeeming the mob phone. I hardly accepted that reason, I just told her to work on herself for redeeming the phone cos I have helped her enough and to contact me immediately when she had her phone.
I am not sure whether I am too harsh on this or not. Yesterday I watched this kdrama “Our Blues” that talked about struggle and money issue. The people are very very poor and hard worker just like my freelance maid. They also kept borrowing money to the friend, she was very poor too but she was the only one who made it to the top and she still do the dirty job (I mean by working in the smelly fish market, chopping fish and all that). She is also supported the younger siblings and helping the friends. She is single and she has a big heart to help others, yet herself is living very modestly.
It just got me thinking a lot about friendship and money. I know my maid isn’t my friend, but she has been with me for the past 5 years. Yet, I don’t know what should I do now, she hasn’t contacted me yet for a job, either she has no phone due to the son left to the hometown and obviously she hasn’t had her phone yet. Maybe also because it’s holiday season. I don’t know, but I hope she contacted me again soon and she is still in debt from the last money she borrowed. But if she wanted to run away too, I will let her go.
Is is tough decisions for me because maybe I have never been in her position. But at the same time, some of my friend and family disagree for me being nice to people. But my point is not influenced by other opinion rather in more logical thinking of mine, if I want to give someone, I have to do it wholeheartedly. Again, I am not a charity, and to give out of your deficiency is harder than if you’re loaded.
So giving is not an easy task for most people in general, because we're selfish being and we are calculating a lot the aftermath, the benefit and such. Though not all giving are equals, surely you need a big heart and sincerity otherwise it’s meaningless. I like to give something when I feel it’s right and necessary. So I need that piece of mind first to be able to give properly.
For instance, if I pray to God to give me what I want by diligently reading bible, going to church, attending bible study, giving and helping others and such.. then after few months I asked to God.. where’s my bonus? I’ve done my job.. give me what I want. That’s not cool right, God is not a genie and we should respect whether he wants to give or not. You may ask, but always remember his answer always 3 things: yes, no, and maybe later.
Similar situation in workplace, if you’ve been doing your job well and diligent, always on time, doing your best and all. Then it’s a review time and your boss doesn’t give you any bonus, will you mad at him? I think it’s unprofessional too in some extend, I mean you may ask politely, but it’s not our will to ask people around to give our bonus. Maybe not today, maybe next time from different boss, we’ll never know but all we can do is sowing a good seed and we enjoy the harvest later, whenever the time is.
That reminds me of Van Gogh, the struggling artist in his time. Imagine his talent gone unseen and he lived by his brother support. Do you think it is fair if you were Van Gogh? But he did it anyway, he sow a seed. The benefit sometimes it’s not always for yourself, it could be for the greater good for the mankind, he has done his part with excellency, being an influential artist in the history of art. If he lives today, he is one of the richest artist in history too.
Not everything in life works in our way, not everything is also about us. Life is always about other people and hope we can be less selfish when we think about others. Just like when we are mindful enough just to give a smile and greet our neighbour, or perhaps we can just be a good citizen by throwing our bin properly. To be a sustainable human being is a lifetime task, it’s always for the greater good and the future generation. It’s always start with ourselves.
I think bonus and struggle may come in one package, just like you can’t have the rainbow without the rain. If we always get our way all the time, we may not be a grateful person and we may take things for granted. May God gives us a wisdom to make a decision in daily lives.
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Do Well. Yan Dabi x Reader [COMM]
warnings: dabi is just a huge asshole, emotional manipulation, implied panic attack
word count: 2.6k.
“Would you be a dear and wait here for a few? I need to take a call.”
Dabi tilts his head alongside his words, glints of amusement present in his sapphire eyes. You’re certain the bastard picks up on every subconscious movement your body makes at the question, feeling like an open book before him. Despite your valiant efforts, human biology doesn’t operate in your personal interest. The challenging premonition causes your lips to curl down, fingers twitching on the wide straw of your milk tea. Pausing mid sip, you pull back, eyelashes fluttering. It’s the subservient behavior he wants to see, and considering the alternatives, you’re tripping over yourself to give it to him.
“... Of course. I should just stay here, right?” It’s more of a question posed for your sake than his, information vital to keep your head above water. Any movements on your behalf that even hint at disobedience could lead to dire consequences, ranging in severity. The worst of which is being confined back to his dingy apartment, with nothing but your thoughts to entertain yourself. All the faux smiles, carefully timed giggles, and strategic brushes of skin against skin would be for naught. You worked too hard for these trips outside for it to fall through your fingers like sand.
Your captor makes a point of giving you a once over, lackadaisical visage a front for a predator in waiting. Condensation builds up against the plastic container in hand, making it tricky to tell if it’s your hands growing clammy or the drink. Time passes by at a snail’s pace, neither of you making the slightest of movements. People go about their lives in happy-go-lucky bliss, none the wiser to the potential harm that Dabi poses. Feeling finally returns to your body as he stands, seemingly content with the exchange.
He shoots you a coy look over his shoulder, a crooked smile spreading across his face. “Don’t miss me too much.”
Dabi snickers at how your nose scrunches up, waving and slinking off with his phone in hand. You watch his retreating figure, still in disbelief over the unfolding events. This would be the first time since being kidnapped that you’ve been on your own in public. These special little outings were a privilege, one that you had worked diligently for. Consistently being on your best behavior, day after day, in the presence of someone you abhor from the depths of your soul is no easy task. A rush of adrenaline shoots through your body when he’s out of sight, eyes darting around in excitement.
This is a prime location to make an escape, the outdoors of a crowded mall in the afternoon. Everyone ranging from families, to couples, and employees on their lunch break are walking around. Lively chatter fills your ears, and you observe every possibility as if it’s your last. While it’s likely a futile dream, the rush your quickening pulse brings demands attention. Lithe fingers shake by your side, every ounce of your strength devoted to keeping yourself from unraveling at the mere concept of being free. He has to be watching. You know him well enough that he wouldn’t have offered the opportunity to escape on a silver platter, there’s got to be measures in place.
There’s no way he isn’t keeping an eye on you now, making sure that you hold true to your word of behaving.
Your shoulders slump at this cruel reality. The act of looking around excitedly would be too much of a give away, an observation he’d surely bring up later. An eruption of goosebumps dot your skin, even in the sweltering summer heat. Taking another sip of your drink, you abandon hope of escape, certain it’d be a mistake should you try it. Though he’s purposefully kept you in the dark on most of his relationships with the League of Villains, you can safely assume he’s interconnected with enough unsavory figures to locate you should it be necessary. In contrast to the sugary goodness that coats your tongue, a sour taste in your mouth develops at this blatant flaunting of power. What an asshole.
To be so self-assured that even in the event of your escape, hunting you down and bringing you back into his loving arms is still within the realm of possibility. Your eye twitches at this realization, mentally flinging numerous curses towards him. He didn’t have to make it so obvious, rubbing salt on the theoretical wound of your pride. Too preoccupied with festering thoughts of resentment, you fail to notice a figure taking a seat next to you on the bench.
“Is the drink not good or something?” A light, masculine voice asks from your left. Darting around immediately at the interruption of your venomous thoughts, you spot a man around your age. Sporting messy brunette hair and a casual get up of a tee with a pair of jeans, it tugs painfully on your heart to see someone living an uninhibited life as you used to. This envy mutates into horror, as you realize being caught speaking to a stranger is going to land you in boiling water. Dabi’s consciousness is a minefield in waiting, daring to blow at the slightest wrong movement.
What do you do? It might leave a wrong impression should you not say anything. The current times are plagued by high tension. Numerous League of Villain attacks have rendered the surrounding regions on constant alert, news anchors telling folks to be wary of anyone or anything suspicious. Weighing your options, you decide to dismiss the stranger in kind as fast as humanly possible.
Just act natural, act natural… “W-why do you say that?”
Shit. Your first conversation with someone other than Dabi in over half a year has left you thoroughly horrified, pupils no doubt dilated and voice meeker than a mouse squeak. The stutter has you wincing, your naive companion undoubtedly picking up on it. You want nothing more than to shoo him off, but in fear of drawing unwanted attention, attempt to suppress your frayed nerves. You’ve been through worse than a strained conversation and made it out relatively unscatched, but this feels like a different type of battle.
“You just seemed to be making quite the upset face,” he chuckles, reminiscing on the thought. He must’ve been referring to the glowering thinking about Dabi brought out from you. “I swear I’m not a creep or anything. I was just waiting to pick up my little sister, and happened to catch you scowling.”
“The name’s Ryota. And you?”
Suppressing panic that threatens to drown you, you swallow thickly. “I’m uh, Hina. The drink is fine… I just have a lot on my mind.”
The lie is seasoned with enough truths that you hope it isn’t too transparent. Giving away your actual name could hint back to missing person’s cases, the thought of which would greatly displease Dabi. Besides, if it had been as simple as going to the police, you would’ve done it by now. You’ve grown uncomfortably familiar with Dabi’s workings, killing off a few people or bribing them would be one of the least heinous things in his portfolio. You figure the best case scenario here is that this well meaning Ryota character leaves you be, or else dire consequences will come to fruition.
“Good to know, Hina-san. My lil sis talks about boba often, but I’ve never gotten that into it. I figure since the store’s right here, I should surprise her with a drink. What would you recommend?”
You can’t help but greedily soak in the normalcy an interaction like this brings with it. The irritation from being drawn into a conversation is replaced with pity, a stronger resolve to keep this bystander out of harm’s way blooming. There’s no time to be wasted on the warmth erupting in your chest, or on the first genuine smiles in months that’s settled on your lips. To see the best humanity has to offer, after being subjected to the worst, is a much needed breath of fresh air. While it may be greedy to fixate on these aspects, you find yourself wanting to savor the moment of being a regular person.
Surely, Dabi would understand your logic.
“It depends on her tastes. If she likes sweeter drinks, I’d recommend Thai milk tea. If you’re not sure, classic milk tea is always a safe bet.” You’re proud of how you’ve been able to pull yourself together, speaking like you used to. With this, he should be set to leave, or at least you want to believe this. Unfortunately for you, life is never so easy. He doesn’t seem interested in going anywhere anytime soon, crossing his legs and leaning slightly closer to you. Realizing your mistake of radiating friendliness, your muscles go taut.
You need to do something about this before it’s too late.
Ryota scratches his head, mulling over your advice. “I’ll keep all that in mind. I appreciate your insight.”
“It feels nice to be able to chill and talk like this every now and then. If I’m being honest, I was somewhat against my sister coming out to hang with friends,” Ryota’s tone takes a turn for the somber, face looking crestfallen. “With all the chaos that’s been around, y’know. It feels like everyday I wake up to more of those League of Villain stories. It feels like it’ll just be a matter of time until something happens near here.”
“I’m sorry that--”
“Things sure are rough,” A voice that brings out every negative emotion possible speaks up from behind you, Dabi’s familiar figure slithering into sight. He takes a seat on the bench, close to your person, wrapping a tight arm around your shoulder. “I hate to interrupt, but I need to borrow her for a bit. You mind?”
Neither of you were expecting the sudden interruption, Ryota trying to piece everything together. “Oh, uh, not at all.’
Everything hits you like a ton of bricks. From Dabi’s rich cologne that mixes in with the smell of ash, his hair brushing against the side of your face, to the possessiveness of his grip. He squeezes your shoulder, looking from Ryota to you. It takes a moment to register what he’s communicating, but you’re able to decipher the gesture. In a last ditch attempt to salvage this situation, you confirm Dabi’s statement before things get ugly. Nodding your head, you watch with bated breath as Ryota looks from Dabi to you. He gets up from his spot on the bench, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets.
“It was nice talking to you.”
Ryota heads off towards the mall doors, leaving you in the clutches of the devil incarnate. You feel how terribly warm Dabi is next to you, words wanting to spill out to justify the actions that led up to this moment. Before you get the opportunity to ramble out your thoughts, Dabi places a finger on your lips, looking at you with the same grin as always.
“Making some new friends, hm?” He inquires, drawing out the syllables. His finger goes south, lifting up your chin, and holding you close to his face. “Awe, babe. You look like you’re aboutta cry. Don’t give me that look.”
You’re not sure if you should feel horrified at his sudden spike in talkativeness, or relieved over not having to speak your piece yet. The words wouldn’t be able to leave your mouth even if you wanted them to, a lump forming in your throat to coincide the dryness of your tongue. Dabi makes a point of emphasizing his engulfing height, having to tilt your head up to maintain eye contact. Not wanting to make a scene, you do everything within your power to still the tears that are threatening to spill out. There’s no visible signs of wrath, not that you can pick up on. He watches with great interest as you calm yourself, releasing the grip on your face and leaning back into the bench.
When you appear sufficiently soothed, he speaks up once more, voice grating your ears. “So tell me, doll. What was all that about? I knew you’d be hurting for company in my absence, but I didn’t think you’d be so bold as to speak to someone else.”
“I… I was approached, and… I swear, nothing happened. He just-- just wanted to know about a drink for his sister, and--”
Dabi gently flicks your forehead, unable to stifle his cackling any longer. “I’m just messin’ with ya. I saw everything.”
It doesn’t settle in immediately, the hypothetical cogs and gears of your head turning in slow motion. Your heart is pounding so violently that you hear it in your ears, your face erupting into a bright red. Humiliation, indignation, and finally, loathing take turns dominating your mind. He’s always had the best of times playing with you at your own expense, poking and prodding to see what reactions he can get. There’s a knee jerk reaction to want to slap him, anything to let out these overflowing feelings. Knowing that getting bothered is what he finds the most pleasure in, you’re further motivated to gain control over yourself.
A deep breath. Inhale, exhale. You continue repeating these steps, biting your tongue to the point it stings. Dabi rests his head on his fist, watching you calm yourself down through lidded eyes. You really do get yourself worked up so easily, it’s endearing. He wants to pinch your cheeks and tease you more, but is feeling generous enough to give you this time to gather yourself. There’ll be plenty of time to play with you later, occupying himself with this cute sight placates him for the time being. When you finally reopen your eyes, you’re met with the deplorable sight of Dabi’s crooked grin.
“Can we just… go home? Please?” You hate how weak your voice sounds. You hate everything about this situation, about the life that you’ve been forced into living. How you have to adapt to unspoken rules, subjected to twists and turns that never let you lower your guard. Most of all, you hate the person who has done this to you. His touch, his scent, his voice, all of it. You want nothing more than to scream at him at the top of your lengths, ripping that satisfied looking off his flesh and ridding yourself of this turmoil once and for all.
“Hm? Already? I thought you were hoping to get some dinner out tonight.” Dabi keeps up an air of nonchalance, likely wanting to hear you repeat yourself. Not willing to give in outright, you instead bunch up the fabric of his jacket with your hand.
“Dabi…”
It’s a low plea. You know you’ve gotten your point across ages ago, but he’s deriving too much pleasure from seeing how you squirm. The painful utterance serves you well, earning the slightest bit of reprieve as he gets up. On shaky legs, you follow after him, head downcast. Fixating on the tops of your shoes, you wonder if distracting yourself might do anything to ease your tormented soul. The events of the day have left you thoroughly exhausting, and nothing sounds better to you than sleeping for as long as he’ll allow you.
“Alright, alright. Let’s head on back,” he snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side. No longer having strength to muster up in retaliation, you let him do as he pleases, still fighting down sniffles. “Don’t bother your pretty little head about this.”
You don’t bother honoring him with a reaction.
Dabi takes a final glance over his shoulder, spotting the pesky man from before, who is still waiting against a wall. He takes a mental picture of the notable features, lips settling into a deep frown. How troublesome. Before you notice anything, he picks up his pace, continuing the walk back to his apartment. Ideas and resentment swirl within his mind like a tornado, pent up frustration begging to be released.
All in due time, he thinks.
#Dabi#dabi my hero academia#dabi headcanons#dabi imagine#dabi x reader#yandere dabi#yandere dabi imagines#yandere dabi imagine#yandere dabi x reader#my hero academia#my hero academia imagine#yandere my hero academia#bnha#bnha imagine#yandere bnha#bnha x reader#bnha imagines#yandere#yandere x reader#my stuff#commissions
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okay re: malls being creepy. I have always, since I was around 7, hated supermarkets and malls. I mean, I'm pretty sure it's my anxiety because I hate being outside of places I know and/or trust. The quarentine period probably fucked me up worse, but the point is: supermarkets and malls are fucking hellish. I mean, getting lost from your parents as a kid in one of those? Nightmare for life. One time I almost got kidnapped in a mall supermarket (double threat combo!).
So I think the dreams people have with malls and supermarkets are unsettling with reason. Whenever I get in a supermarket I mentally go through this (rehearsed!) escape plan in case shit goes south, and speedwalk everywhere. It makes me look insane but man... I don't trust those places.
I definitely feel you re: not trusting them. I'm not scared or uncomfortable when in them, but there's something about malls and especially supermarkets that just... makes me dissociate. this is something that happens to me on occasion, but like. I would say perhaps 60-70% of the time I go to one of these places I dissociate fully, and 100% of the time I'm somewhere on the scale, even if it's milder than the full shebang. it doesn't matter what time of the day, how I'm feeling mentally, my physical health, nothing. it always fucking happens, and I have no idea why. I've just accepted it at this point but it's so weird to just walk into the supermarket with my silly little list of ingredients or whatever and just immediately feel part of my soul detach and flake off to hover somewhere near the ceiling for the duration of the trip. like. alright then.
as a kid I loved malls because I would raise hell. I remember my parents used to go Christmas shopping all at once on a particular day of the year and it meant eight hours or more of being dragged around the shops and one time I decided to hide from them in a big department store. actually what happened was I was too scared to go down the escalator (I had a terrible fear of them as a child after a nightmare where one ate me) so I froze at the top and my parents' way of dealing with my childhood fears was to either drag me through it anyway or abandon me in the hopes that my fear of losing them would triumph over my fear of whatever had me frozen to the spot, but unfortunately for them this attitude had not fostered healthy attachment in me so I decided to just let them go down the escalator without me. as soon as they were out of my sight I accepted my newfound freedom and decided to be a royal shit, so I ducked into the department store and hid from them. by the time they got back up the escalator I was already gone. I ended up hiding myself in the middle of a circular clothes rack, so I was hidden from all sides, and in the end they had to lock down the mall until they found me.
after that I was bribed with treats for good behaviour while shopping, so that was a win. I'm still suspicious of escalators though.
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Omovember Days 15-21
Apologies for the wait. I have no excuses except genuine procrastination. Either way, I will also apologize for Day 20, but the teratophiliac within me does not. Regardless, enjoy these images as I work on the last few days. Also, due to my lack of creativity, the lore pieces are growing shorter- apologies if tose made the images better.
Names are hard, man :(
Anya Tresyuh has been... so damn close to this, so many times in her life; from a combination of an overestimated bladder, time and location restraints among so many other factors. But she had so rarely failed to save her dignity.
Unfortunately, a crowded mall, a complicated layout, rare bathrooms and long lines weren’t so kind to Anya. Luckily, no one around knew her... But she certainly wasn’t coming back to this mall any time soon...
This was the feeling Shaya lived for. The leather around her neck, the sticky glue of the tape keeping her cries muffled and brief, the strong tug of her master keeping her in line... the heat from her boiling puddles..
All of it, invaluable to Shaya’s impending orgasms. One after another, growing stronger and stronger until her body couldn’t take them, and then a few more for good measure...
Nothing better than being at her master’s complete mercy.
Avery Maples always surrounded herself with perhaps the wrong crowd. Her parents did their best to warn her, but her rebellious nature always disallowed her listening. When her mother eventually left her father in a whirlwind affair, Avery and her father grew close.
But her rebellious nature only grew further. Hard drugs were never in her cards, but “light stuff” was very common- alcohol, marajuana, tobacco, she partook in with often reckless abandon.
Kinks and fetishes were also something her disregard of judgement allowed as well. Very often.
It-it had just been a spur of the moment thing. A few saucy messages between a pen pal and herself, that was it to get Lissa in the mood. For near fifteen minutes, Lissa stroked herself, imagining all of the dirty things she could possibly picture in her mind- some things she’d never, ever share with another.
So hot... so wet...
Too wet.
As Lissa stared at the growing yellow puddle, she crossed another sinful secret off in her mind that she would never share.
Sandra has always been praised as mature and intelligent, especially since she looked... Well, certainly mature for a twenty-six-year-old. But, for the maturity her body, her personality and her wardrobe boasted, Sandra had... Well, a very immature secret...
One that was becoming all too commonplace for her to entertain.
This was the last thing the mighty beast expected to attack her den. A mighty demon from the pits of Hell, thirty times the size of her usual prey. She was outmatched, and blessed by the fact that the demon was looking to humiliate her rather than kill her.
So, the beast succame to what the demon wanted, lest his desire grow... bloody.
An innocent round of weight training... in a gym with little air conditioning and plenty of water... perhaps Belina overestimated her... capacity. But as the urine flooded out of her, splattering onto the floor loudly and drawing tens of sets of eyes to her sopping shorts, Belina never expected the release to feel so...
So good...
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“It’s cute that you tried to protect me and all, but you’re like a foot shorter than me, you know?” with jon and anyone??
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062798
Sooo, here’s the thing. Along the way it became “It’s cute that you tried to attack me and all, but you’re like a foot shorter than me, you know?” The premise is the same but things sorta got out of hand. Either way...Happy Birthday Rye!! This is for you 💕😊
Tim was exhausted. He’d been up late the night before pouring through books on historic architecture, trying to find anything referencing Robert Smirke and his…unique building practices. While he wasn’t usually the one to take work home with him, this statement Jon had recorded, one about Leitner and Gerard Keay and the tunnels underneath the Pall Mall struck a chord with him. It felt just wrong enough to be related to Smirke. So he had been up at all hours, researching Smirke and any associations he may have had with Pall Mall. He had been successful, at the end of it, but had fallen asleep near five and gotten barely four hours of sleep before he was dragged to wretched consciousness again by the sun streaming through his window.
Normally, Tim would grab a coffee on the way to work, but honestly he was nearing a little too close to hand-to-mouth living as it was, especially with their paychecks not being due til next Friday. There was a coffee maker in the Archives breakroom, sputtering as it was. Coffee was coffee and coffee was what Tim needed. It was half eight, a little earlier than most of his crisp, just-late-enough-to-piss-Elias-off-but-not-enough-to-get-called-out-for-it 10:15 arrivals, but it didn’t matter. If he was lucky, no one else would be there.
-
Jon was in the Archives. When wasn’t Jon in the Archives? They were his Archives after all.
Jon blinked and peeled his cheek from the cool metal of his desk, wincing at the ghostly impression left from the heat and oils of his skin. His neck and spine protested in clicks and pops as he straightened himself up, wincing at the angle he had allowed himself to sleep in for so long. It was just after nine, according to the ever-ticking clock above the door to his office, the only door, the door he left propped open unless he was certain he was the only one there. (No one needed to come knocking for him.) He wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep but it had definitely been past midnight, after even Elias had left his office and the hum of The Institute faded to a strangely comfortable silence, nothing but Jon and his files and statements. Just one more statement, he had thought to himself, wearily regarding the ever-growing stack of “To-Do” files in the box on his desk. One more and then I can go home and rest. One more now is one less Elias can ask after, the acknowledgement of Jon’s failure in his voice. Jon wasn’t sure if he had turned the tape recorder off or if he had just run out of tape-did they even run out of tape? They never seemed to. On investigation, the faint snuffling sounds he heard when he played the tape back proved he had forgotten to tur-
Wait. What was that?
Jon frowned and rewound the tape a few minutes, listening intently. There was the unmistakable sound of footsteps, faint but definitely there. Was someone in his archives? Jon pursed his lips and glanced again at the clock. Just after nine, even Sasha wouldn’t be here yet, the punctuality of her 9:25 arrival something you could set a clock to.
Jon glanced around, not really sure what it was he was looking for. Something to defend himself, maybe? He wasn’t sure when he’d decided to identify the source of the sound, but something in his gut had shifted. He settled on grabbing a crutch resting in the corner of his office, abandoned from his recovery after the Prentiss attack.
Armed, Jonathan Sims crept to the door of his office. The automatic lights in the hallway flickered on as he slowly peered down both sides of the hallway, curly hair a mess and swinging unhelpfully by his cheeks. No one. The hallway was empty, no shadows to be seen sweeping menacingly around the corner.
God. He was probably being stupid. It was probably the statements getting to him. But still, something urged the back of his mind. He couldn’t shake the notion he wasn’t alone in the cold, lonely basement.
Cautiously, Jon crept down the hall, holding the crutch first by the handle, then clumsily turning it over to hold it by the base towards the ground. He didn’t make a habit of watching American baseball, but he imagined he looked rather like the players at bat, the rest of the crutch resting on his shoulder, elbows cocked uncertainly.
“Sasha? Martin? Tim?” His voice was somewhere between a croak and a shout, halfway between cowardice and curiosity. No answer, not that he really expected one.
Jon listened intently as he reached the bullpen of the archives, where Tim, Sasha, and Martin’s desks were arranged. It took him a moment to register what was bothering him about the room before he realized it with a start: the lights were on. These were also automatic; Jon knew this from the number of times Tim, Sash, and Martin had burst into laughter and cacophonies of “no!” and “guess we’re done!” whenever they sat still too long, engrossed in their work. Jon had privately wondered if it had been set up to keep them from being productive.
But the lights were on. That meant someone had been through here. And recently. Jon was paralyzed for a moment, wondering what he should do. Call 999? Or Elias? If it was supern—strange, police wouldn’t be able to do much anyways. Furthermore, if he was imagining things, he would never here the end of it from Elias. What if he asked him to step down from the position? No, Jon could handle this. Of course he could. Whatever it was, he needed to see what was happening and could make a decision from there.
He heard a shuffle from the break room, a scuff of shoe on the worn lino. A thief who just decided to stop for a cuppa and sandwich? Well, the breakroom was next to the records room…what if it was a thing here to steal a statement? A thing like Jane Prentiss, or-or a vampire, or, god forbid, Michael?
Jon felt woozy with fear and nervous energy as he crept forward blindly, twisting the crutch in his hands as he approached the open doorway to the breakroom, the light to which was off. This bulb wasn’t auto, unfortunately. As Jon stood in the doorway, he let his eyes adjust the darkness of the small room, blinking nervously and sweeping the room with his eyes desperately, looking for a clue.
There.
A darker blackness in the black, making up a vaguely humanoid shape, standing motionless by the cupboards. Jon tried to speak, to address it, but his voice was barely a whisper, caught in his throat.
“W-Who are you?” No answer. Jon could’ve sworn it shifted towards him, the thing that looked like a head bobbing slightly.
It would take maybe six steps to get there. The light switch was by the fridge, at the other end of the room. Was it worth it? Jon could probably run and flip the switch but the creature would definitely know he was there. Maybe it was better to just run.
Jon was suddenly struck with a terrifying thought as the creature seemed to shift again, shuddering to itself. What if it was Jane Prentiss, lying in wait for Martin any one of them to come back?
He had to attack. Jon steeled himself, tightening his grip on the crutch.
Three.
Two.
One.
“Gahhhhhhhh!” Jon ran forward, swinging his makeshift weapon towards the creature. He watched the shape in the darkness shifted and seemed to compress and duck out of the way of his swinging, in slow motion but all at once. His crutch struck the countertop, and Jon vaguely registered a shattering as something hit the ground
“Jon!”
“…T-Tim?”
The shadow in the darkness shrunk and Jon blinked at the sudden brightness as the light came on, finally recognizing the creature as Tim, eyes wide as he surveyed his boss in front of him, hair mussed from sleep and wielding a crutch like a cricket bat.
“Jon, what the hell?” Tim’s voice was somewhere at the intersection of confusion, anger, and dazed humor, hard to pin down. “What are you doing here?”
“Me? What are you—It’s nine in the morning! How did you get in?” Jon felt all the adrenaline leave his body at once, and he dropped the crutch to the Formica counter he seemed to have chipped, shoulders sagging.
“I-coffee!” Tim gestured to the shattered ruins of a Derwent Water mug, an orange kayak in two distinct pieces as a coffee spread across the tiles slowly. Jon’s face must have shown the incredulity he was feeling, because Tim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I couldn’t sleep, figured I’d be more use here. Didn’t feel like making a Costa run. That’s second to the real question, though, which would be: Why are you trying to kill me?”
Jon scrubbed his hands over his face; of course it was just Tim. He had been so terrified and it was just Timothy fucking Stoker. “I-I’m sorry, Tim. I heard something on my tape, and I thought there was someone in here…a-and there was. But I mean, someone who wasn’t supposed to be here. I-I did call out, b-but no one answered.” Jon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I thought maybe you were a vampire. Or Michael. Or Jane Prentiss,” he admitted after a moment, voice quieter.
Two beats of silence, three, before Tim’s raucous, barking laughter finally broke the silence.
“Were you going to kill a vampire with a walking crutch?” Tim managed between chuckles, doubling over. “Just-” he makes a sweeping motion with closed fists over each other, “with a bat, like-like a piñata?” He was taken over by giggles again and Jon was left staring blankly, trying valiantly to figure out what was so funny.
“I-I dunno, maybe? I didn’t want to just do nothing.”
“I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t be laughing, it’s-” Tim straightens and gestures at Jon, composing himself. “It’s cute that you tried to attack me and all, but you’re like a foot shorter than me, you know? You’re not exactly physically menacing.”
Jon stared. “I wasn’t trying to be menacing, I was trying-shit.” He felt warm liquid seeping into his socks-how did he just realize he wasn’t wearing shoes- and stumbled back, grabbing for the paper towels on the table. “I was trying to save my own ass. And I’m not that short.” Another snort from Tim, acknowledging and rejecting his argument. “Sorry about your mug,” Jon continued, dropping to a squat to sweep up the milky coffee and ceramic in a bundle of sopping paper.
“Meh, worth it,” Tim shrugged, dropping next to him and spooling towel into his own hands. “Yep,” popped the p. “The image of you baring your teeth at me like a wild dog is totally worth it. Besides, now I have an excuse to ask Sash to buy me a coffee from the posh place near her flat.”
“Oh, no, please. I should buy you something from the Costa down the street. I-! need to get some anyways.” Jon glanced over his shoulder at the doorway to the now unlit bullpen, trying to pretend he didn’t obviously look like he slept here.
“Yeah, no, you look like shit. No offense,” Tim added absentmindedly, pretending not to acknowledge the fact that Jon did not, in fact, drink coffee. “Did you sleep here again?”
Silence as Jon gathered the coffee-soaked towels in his hands and rose, tossing them in the bin by the door.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I wasn’t trying to. I just nodded off. I was recording statements and lost track of time.”
“Ohh, so you heard me come in?”
“Kind of. Heard it on the tape—”
“Hello?” Martin’s voice called out as the bullpen lights flicked on. “Oh, hey Tim, Jon! You two alright?”
“Heya, Marto. Jon and I were just about to hit up the café. Want something?”
Tim got a caramel latte. Jon got a chai. Martin and Sasha got muffins, a very good story, and a lightly blushing (and smiling, though he would deny it) Archivist.
-
Tim was grateful to Jon for never asking why he had stood so long, in silence and dark, staring at his cup of coffee as if it wasn’t even there. He never asked why his shoulders had been heaving and why his eyes were as baggy as they had been. Jon did offer more often, though, to get coffee with him, in the odd mornings that they were both there absurdly early and battling their own demons. Tim always said yes.
#tma#tma fanfic#the magnus archives#magpod fanfic#tim stoker#jonathan sims#the archivist#kinda jontim#but also platonic#however youd like#fanfic
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Furano Trip
To make the most of my two days off I decided to drive to Furano after finishing work, to ensure I would be able to see the lavender first thing in the morning. I packed up the car and had a shower, then headed off. About 5 minutes after leaving home, I approached a cat sitting calmly in the middle of my lane, I screeched to a stop and the cat didn’t run so I rolled over the top and then it must’ve slunk away. It was enough to give me a fright, I drove a little slower from that point on since I was still in town. Well, after clearing Kutchan town I was on a country road on the way towards the mountains and the second cat was not as lucky... He darted out from a farmhouse and I saw his little ginger face in the split second before he bounced into the right front tyre. There was a bit of a thud but no bump. He ran off into the bushes. Very shakily I pulled over and went to investigate, there was a woman there who could speak English and she said she had seen him run down into the bushes surrounding the farm. I left with an eerie feeling that maybe I should go back home and drive tomorrow, like these cats were meant to be a sign. I drove on for about an hour, my lights on highbeam and my eyes on high alert – I was more concerned about deer now. I pulled over after another hour or so and sent a message to my mum just in case the universe was conspiring, and then the spookiest part... As I was sitting in the car recording my message, a third cat came running towards me! In the middle of nowhere! Very carefully I drove around it and back on to the road and that was thankfully the last cat I saw on the drive. After that it was smooth, I stopped for a late night McDonald’s at Chitose and then drove on until I found a nice big parking lot with a 24 hour toilet. There were bugs everywhere in the heat of a warm summer’s night, flying around the lights of the toilet building. I slept quite well all things considered.
The next morning I woke up around 6am when the heat in the car simply became too much to bear. It was gearing up to be at least 30 degrees today. Somehow the exact time I wanted to use the bathroom there was a cleaning crew surrounding it and I could just quickly brush my teeth and wash my face before leaving. I started by visiting a large campground park that I had intended on staying at last night but didn’t quite reach there, and luckily I hadn’t because it was a crowded carpark with a far worse toilet! I drove up to the first lavender field of the day, Choei Lavender Farm. There was a winding road up the back to reach a mountaintop viewpoint overlooking the lavender and the Kamifurano township. I battled to take some videos with my GoPro that seemed to be struggling in the heat already – by 8am it was already 28 degrees. Japan doesn’t do daylight savings so it means that sunrise is about 3am in summer so the hottest part of the day is earlier in the morning than you would expect. I parked down at the bottom of this farm and took a few more photos although it wasn’t possible to get a good angle of the word “Kamifurano” spelled out in Hiragana in large lettering filled with colourful flowers. I decided to get some gas because Kimbo was already thirsty again, and then arrived at Farm Tomita just before 9am. As Google maps directed me there, she made sure to inform me “this destination will be closed when you arrive” but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to wait for 10 minutes in the carpark. Well it seemed that the Japanese had the same idea! The main parking lot was already full and the parking attendant waved his lightsaber to guide me right down to the back lot. Furano has great flower fields but not much shade so poor Kimbo had to suffer in the sun while I went for a walk around. By now it was 30 degrees and humid. Japanese people carried umbrellas and wore full length sleeves in the heat. Many people were dressed up in their Sunday best to take family photos in the lavender with a bouquet purchased from the gift shop for 500 yen. Dogs were posed for photos and then taken back into the shade where they could lie down. I took my photos and walked around the perimeter but it was far too hot for me so I had to browse in one of the air conditioned gift shops to cool down. I tried to walk up the side of one of the more shady lavender fields but it was deceivingly steep and I struggled to get halfway! It was time for an ice cream break by 9.30am, and of course I had to try the lavender ice cream again. It was a soft purple colour, with a mild taste and started dripping immediately. Luckily there was a shady seat to sit and eat it and appreciate the views of Kamifurano and the mountains in the distance. In winter Furano is also a hugely popular ski resort that is often paired with Niseko for longer snowsports trips. To distract my thoughts, a child squeaked in with those annoying shoes that sound like you’re standing on a plush toy squeaker with every step. All heads turned to look at the child, who promptly trips up and starts scream-crying uncontrollably. And now my relaxing ice cream break was ruined. I walked around a little bit more and bought a few postcards and lavender things to send home then sat down for a drink and a potato croquette for an early lunch. I had been waiting around for a bit because I wanted to visit a café nearby that opened only at 12pm. It was relaxing anyway to sit and watch Japanese people enjoying the lavender and trying to get the best photos when the entirety of the scene is purple!
I drove to Kamifurano town and parked at the post office as I couldn’t find any free parking lots near the Polar Coffee café, I withdrew some cash and then walked there as a loud alarm sounded through the city – presumably a test as no one seemed even mildly concerned. On Instagram yesterday I’d seen that my colleagues Tim and Nick had come to this café which is owned by a Taiwanese guy (they’re also Taiwanese) and it had a good vibe from their photos so I was determined to try! It was even better than expected, I ordered a flat white and it was not only very Instagrammable but also cheaper than anywhere in Niseko. Cooling down in the air conditioned café was also a highlight. After my coffee I made the long drive to Asahikawa to see a rice field. But not just any rice field, one planted very carefully with different varieties of rice that had coloured shoots. The reason I made this long drive just for a rice field is because the second half of July is the perfect time to view such rice fields - the rice shoots have grown in and are brightly coloured at this time. I was very proud of myself as I directed myself to the field. Although a lot of people online said it was so hard to find, I had no trouble at all. Actually my Google map would have led me exactly there but I followed some signposts instead that said “tanbo art” on them in Japanese, and the reason I was so proud – I could actually read what it said! I was the only person there so I parked where I pleased and climbed up the viewing platform to see the art. Unfortunately the field was so wide that it was hard to take a photo of the entire thing, even with panorama! The design changes each year and this time it was a couple of anime characters, there was also something written way off to the left that wasn’t really visible from the platform and I could only see “2021” and some squashed Japanese characters from the ground. Anyhow, it was a very unique attraction and I was glad I had made the trip to see it. My next destination was the Ningle Terrace; a series of log cabin-esque boutique shops arranged along a wooden walkway in the forest. If my phone wasn’t so terrible with capturing greenery then it would’ve been another Instagram-worthy place to see but other than a cool photos the souvenirs were quite expensive and many of the shops were closed anyway. I took a long drive from Furano to Obihiro for tomorrow’s adventure and stopped at a mall for a KFC dinner. Usually Japanese KFC is great, but this one had unfriendly staff and they gave me a half frozen burger which I had to send back for a fresh one. I bought a few supermarket supplies and then drove towards the small Obihiro airport once it was dark to find a suitable parking space for the night. I passed the airport parking lot as it there were too many floodlights which would make it hard to sleep, further up the road there was a small shoulder so I stayed there in the pitch black instead, with a nice forest on either side. I got out of the car to change into my shorts to sleep but I heard rustling in the bushes and freaked out! Instead I changed inside with the doors locked. I felt a little uneasy falling asleep as there had been searchlights beaming around the sky that I’d assumed were to find intruders sneaking into the abandoned Gluck Kingdom theme park and I worried someone would knock on my car window and tell me to move on. Of course I didn’t want to get caught on my urban exploring but I thought “you would have to be absolutely insane to venture in there at night”. As it turned out though, the lights were for the airport perimeter security and nothing to do with the theme park coincidentally located about a kilometre opposite.
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a shaechans fic: unexpected company
to: somni ( @insomni-writing ) a merry christmas to you somni!!! anddddd i’ve been your secret santa all this time ahhh i hope you’re surprised. maybe a little???? anyway, apologies in advance cause this is not that good and quite rushed (you may see a few edits after i’ve published ahhh but please pay no mind thanks<3) but i hope you like this. i wrote about a uh uh surprise trope and i know you like horror but i’m not good at those:(( so i wrote this. i also posted a moodboard for this (and one for you special;)) on my other account @a5ahiboyz so check it out!! small note at the end as well yee i talk too much
pairing: lee haechan x somni
genre: strangers! au, fluff, a little angst towards the end and in the middle, kinda boring:((
word count: 3.2k it was supposed to be 2.5k ahhhhhhh
warnings: like one swear word
the evening wasn’t going well for somni. ironic seeing how she was always one to get things done her way or it wasn’t considered an accomplishment to her. but today was...different. it was the day she had met a fellow, claimed master criminal lee haechan.
lee haechan, or by birth, donghyuck—something somni would prefer calling him just to see him clench fists—would be your definition of next door boy. friendly, the type to reach out for cookies with a mischievous grin kinda tune. he carries a lovely, bubbly energy every time he shows his face and is the neighborhood's pride and, at this point, only hope! and he was happy to be so.
except for the fact that he was an evil genius.
thursday, 24th december 21:11pm
flipping through the fiction section of the bookstore, somni let out a sigh seeing the stock of last ones left alive, a book she had been aching to get her hands on, diminishing each day she’d visit the store. she was running out of motivation to actually get a job, like she had considered a few days, and/or steal anything seeing how she wouldn’t be able to afford it anyway.
sighing yet again, she got herself ready to walk back to her ‘house’. rubbing her palms and blowing hot air into them she prepared for the cold and harsh wind to hit her out of her senses again. as she thought of a hot chocolate to warm her system, a certain book caught her eye from the new release section. turning back around, somni rushed over to read through the summary at the back.
all too focused on the book, she missed to hear the last call for the last of customers at the store. and when she did get back to her senses, she heard the last of the keys jingling as the owner locked the store. somni’s head whipped in the direction of the main door, as she made a run for the door, eyes widening to saucers in realization.
after a minute or so of banging and yanking at the door knob, somni let go, sliding down the door before regretting as the cold wind from the loose end of the door nipped at her skin. she sighed loudly at the thought of spending the night in this cold nightmare of a store. alone. until she heard a voice on the other, back end of the store. picking up a book near her as defense, somni carefully walked over, curiosity getting the best of her.
“um hello-AHHAHHHHHHHHKASJAKJHSSJ” the figure keyboard smashed as somni ran over, in an attack stance before smacking the shadow across the head. the mysterious person was now unconscious on the floor as somni panicked over her actions. the person would come to be the very famous, lee haechan!
somni was born to loving parents and got everything she ever wanted. except she could never be satisfied with whatever it was she did receive. don’t get the girl wrong, what she demanded would be given at her feet, but unfortunate for her parents, as easily satisfied she was, twice the dissatisfaction she would spit. it wasn’t until her father snapped at her and abandoned her by the family cottage just 2 miles away from home. but then again, it wasn’t like somni planned on going back home anyway.
and that’s when the idea of theft inspired somni for the “better”.
thursday, 24th december 21:23pm
it had been a little over fifteen minutes to haechan’s passing out, when somni had managed to find water from the storeroom of the bookstore. cradling water—ice cold water, to which she flinched first but then overcame the numbness—from the now tilted bottle on her left hand into her right, as she straight up splashed water on his face. and when he didn’t respond to that, panicking, tilted the bottle upside down, the water drenching his face and shirt.
at that, the boy gasped sharply, shooting up straight like, similar to his widened from when he experienced literal ice cubes fall on his skin. the two stared at each other for a minute, haechan in utter shock and somni in relief/concern from recovering from the fact that she didn’t murder.
somni was first to turn away, exhaling breath she didn’t she had held. “thank GOD you aren’t dead! i couldn’t be with another one” “whAT?” “NOTHING!” somni yelled, turning around and standing up to get away quickly from the wet and cold scene. haechan needed a few extra minutes to process the situation before getting to his feet too and following her to the main door.
“what are you doing?” jumping slightly and holding onto her heart, somni rolled her eyes as she took note of his presence and choosing to ignore his question, she continued to try her luck unscrewing the door with a hard covered book. that went on for five minutes before she gave up and clicked her tongue, and went on a search to find another tool.
haechan could only watch her move around, hands behind his back as his eyes rested onto the tops of the dusty bookshelves. “do they seriously not clean those? christ!” he exclaimed, pulling out a tissue from his jean pocket and climbing to reach the top part of the shelf.
a loud thud and hard covered books falling was what brought somni out of her trance from staring at the toolbox, in a dilemma with what to choose, her indecisiveness kicking in at a wrong time. running out to see a haechan piled under heavy looking books, somni stifled a laugh before trying to steady her voice “are you okay??”
to see how true of an evil genius haechan would reveal later to be what somni would come to realization a little late. to somni, haechan was a comforting sign that destruction would still present itself in the oblivious way and it made her feel a little less lonely than she would on the daily. so much comfort that it was almost like he was following her. following her enough to know that she needed a reassurance of the other evil present in the world.
somni would start low, with convenience stores and slowly then work her way up to malls and finally, her one and only love: the bookstore round the corner. the smell of newly fresh printed pages—which she would walk by simply to get motivated with her next convenience store raid—is what somni would call motivation. which is why she was currently trapped in a bookstore, past their closing time (as she knew), with her new bestie<33, the one and the only, lee haechan.
thursday, 24th december 21:57pm
“so what exactly were you doing doing here?” somni let the question hang onto the dry silence that was meant to be broken anyway. the pair moved over to the floor after somni helped and laughed and cleaned the books off him and out of the way. somni having given up on finding a way out at this point, the surroundings being too cold for her to stand solo.
at this haechan pondered for a bit, before answering “i was on the look for this one book, a series of them actually. my aunt asked, to which i’ve already forgotten the title” he paused to roll his eyes and look through his previous messages, presumably from said aunt.
“percy jackson and the olympians” shrugging as he announced, he clicked his phone ‘off’ before looking to somni, who managed to resist a sequel as he confirmed the title. that being understandable as it was her favouritest book of all time! haechan eyed her, eyebrow raising when she covered her mouth, trying her best to hide the grin etching onto her face.
“what’s with your reaction?” “oh it’s just i-” somni started before thinking; why on earth do i have to let him know. he’s just a stranger after all. she didn’t even know his name.
she didn’t even know his name.
“uh what did you say your name was again??” somni raised her brow at the boy, watching his eyes slowly widened a bit realising they hadn’t introduced themselves. he stuck out his hand, a boxy grin present as he introduced himself “i’m lee donghyuck! but everyone calls me haechan because donghyuck’s too….formal for me.” somni nodded once, before reaching out to shake his hand “i’m somni! it’s nice meeting you donghyuck” she winked at him as he groaned, causing her to stick out her tongue playfully at him.
donghyuck grew up in a family of four sisters and one twin brother. the seven of them lived contently with their father’s pay as police commissioner and mother as a lawyer—training currently for magistrate judge. however, their parents were quite conservative with family traditions and obedience. so when one of donghyucks’ older sisters came out to them as pansexual, she was banished from entering the house. this quick and stern change startling the rest and so they started to fulfill and satisfy with whatever their parents wished for them today.
all except donghyuck.
of course he was scared out of wits even at the thought of running away but after his twin convinced him to do it with him, donghyuck trusted him. and so one night, six year old donghyuck ran away. alone. his twin having ditched out of last minute thoughts. finding shelter in a nearby house down the street, turning to the first house he could. the couple thinking he was in trouble decided to take him in. before he knows, he’s staying with them for years and suddenly he’s eighteen and he goes off to his first day of university.
and then he meets his father.
thursday, 24th december 22:17pm
“why do you even like that book?” haechan asked, a disgusted look taking over his features as somni reached out to smack his leg slightly. “it’s not just a book!! it’s a journey” “jOuRneY” they said in unison, haechan mockingly as he rolled his eyes, chuckling slightly at somni’s offended expression.
since they had no other work to do, the two decided to at least clean the store while haechan was on the lookout for the percy jackson book series his aunt had requested for. somni had let the boy know that she had seen it earlier and was ecstatic to lead the way to them. while she did so, she also rambled on and on about how exciting the books are and how he should give them a try, to which haechan could only ignore.
silence took over after somni had finished summarizing the basic structure of the series when haechan asked the question somni had been dreading to hear “isn’t your family gonna be worried?” minutes of cold emptiness went by before haechan interrupted “uh...hello? are you okay??” he asked, and as somni could see from the corner of eye, worriedly. after taking in her wordless response—and a visible gulp—haechan dropped the question.
“i know mine won’t worry,” he said after a few seconds. “it’s not like they ever did” he muttered looking away. at that, he managed to get somni’s attention and continuing on “my birth parents were quite stern in their ways and so i ran away” somni gawked at this, staring at the nonchalant boy in front of her. “you ran a-away?” haechan nodded.
“when i was six” “wheN YOU WERE SIX?!!?!?” haechan’s heart sped up at her sudden increase in her volume, but nodding nonetheless. “hmm me and my twin decided to just leave. but when the time came, he ditched me so i just left by myself” he paused to search the top shelves for the books. “and obviously they didn’t come after me”.
at that, somni unintentionally reached to touch his arm as a sign of comfort. but soon removed it when haechan looked between her and her hand. sighing, somni internally debated with whether she should tell haechan of her situation or was he still yet to gain her trust. eventually she thought ‘fuck it’ and decided to tell him. what could he possibly do with the information?
somni didn’t exactly have much of a school life seeing how despite her parents paying for her fees three more years after her moving out, she was never one to mingle with people. she’d often keep to herself and just go on with whatever life threw at her. which is why she moved to theft in the first place. in order to provide for herself.
but then she was offered a job. a job at the convenience store she would raid.
having been working there long enough (two ½ years) made stealing easier for her. this way she earned her share of finance and everyday necessities. her boss was a snooze, who’d never glance over at any of the items for more that second, to realise things were missing. and in addition, somni would convince her that it was just selling well, increasing her spirits and faith in the girl. therefore not spare a thought to check cctv rolls.
thursday, 24th december 22:42pm
“i got sent away.” haechan hummed in question, heading slowly turning in her direction as they sat on the carpeted floor of the bookstore. sighing and placing her book page down, somni continued with more confidence “my parents threw my out of the house. and they were right! they had every reason to! but i” her words choked slightly, haechan looking at her with sympathy “i just miss them” she sighed finally looking up at him and after her constant eye contact with the floor, haechan was illuminating from the moon reflecting on him through the small front window.
“i’ve been an absolute brat my entire life and i can only imagine how fed up my parents were of me to actually send me away” her ramble coming to a stop when she couldn’t find words to say. the feeling of emptiness only increasing by the second within her. somni felt her tears fall when she registered haechan’s hand patting her back in reassurance.
she paid him a smile back after inhaling and exhaling to catch her senses back. he smiled back as okay before going back to reading. the precious silence lasted for a while before haechan closed his book and turned to face somni completely. “so how do you live? by yourself?? what do you do for a living? god i just need to know!!” somni raised her brow at the boy in front of her, not choosing to flinch, accustomed to his startling nature.
“well i do live by myself, i still go to school cause my parents pay for it and for a living, i steal”
and then the power tripped.
donghyuck’s new life with his parents was much easier than what he had experienced with his birth family. at first he would still be unfazed with his change in surroundings, asking permission to even go to the bathroom and bowing when the pair would confusingly agree. they would sit him down one day to explain that he needn't ask their permission to tug at their clothes to call them—to which donghyuck would look at the pair astonished at this new world.
and from then on, donghyuk was constantly loved and pampered by the old couple and it was everything he could ask for. he lived a normal life, going to school everyday and then even offering to repay his parents by working shifts at a restaurant after he would turn seventeen.
every once in a while he would run into his siblings around town but he would just walk away. it wasn’t like they were gonna recognize him anyway.
thursday, 24th december 23:24pm
somni froze. haechan had been clinging on to her arm, eyes closed shut and body trembling. his small fit went on for a while, somni being patient and even patting his back awkwardly. “i-i’m a little, tiny bit TERRIFIED of the dark” somni chuckled softly, firmly placing a hand on his back, running it up and down in comfort.
they sat there until somni tapped his hand and reached her own out for him to take “c’mon just take my hand and we’ll go find the power switch okay” haechan nodded, eyes still closed. after successfully standing up, somni walked with dragged haechan to the main switch on the other side of the store. after messing with switches carefully, somni managed to get the light back on.
she clapped her hands excitedly and turned to haechan, who was still hugging her waist. haechan looked up at her and they were close enough to have their noses touching. they stared at each other, either too frozen in place to move. somni faked a cough and cleared her throat, haechan taking the signal and moving away, standing up straight with hot pink cheeks.
friday, 25th december 00:04pm
bored out of their minds, the pair of them moved to lay on the floor, eyes boring holes into the wooden roof of the bookstore. random thoughts running wild at nothing to concentrate on. haechan was first to break the silence, gasping and sitting straight up and looking around at the clock. “it’s christmas!!!” somni soon got up too, beaming at the clock and then at haechan.
“merry christmas donghyuck” she laughed, leaning forward to hug the now sulky boy. “haha merry christmas to you somni.” the hug was soon interrupted by sirens fading into the scene. the two pulled away fast, heads whipping in the direction of the sound.
“we’ve gotta run!” “grab the books you need!” haechan stared at somni in confusion as she stood up to get her desired book. “wait wait. GRAB the books? are you gonna steal them?” somni paused to give him a look of an obvious nod. “you can’t just fucking stea-” “PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!”
dropping the books in astonishment, the both of them throwing their hands up immediately. they were then assisted outside, shivering when coming in sudden contact with the snowy environment. somni rubbed her arms up and down as a way to provide warmth. looking around for haechan, she saw him handshaking the officer??
“ms. somni, you are under arrest for theft!” somni could not move, feet as frozen as her lips. she called out for haechan who replied with a smirk before walking over to her. “what’s up love?” “whaT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” “arresting you on the basis of theft?” he said like it was blatantly obvious.
somni gritted her teeth as he winked back at her before turning to walk away. “just wait till i get out lee donghyuk” stopping in his tracks, he turned his head slightly back, “it’s officer haechan to you”
from: nes!! wellllll hi lmao. firstly, this fucking sucks ASS. i didn’t even know what i was writing half way through and i honestly didn’t have the energy to proofread so i apologize for all the grammar mistakes:( wanna lowkey make a part two to this but let me know if this was even liable for a sequel ahhhh. anyway, have a merry christmas and i guess we’re mutuals now;)
#nctincss20#mine#somni bb#nct#christmas!!#haechan#haechan fluff#angst#nct fluff#nct angst#fluff#haechan angst
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Ok so I’m sitting waiting for my car to get an oil change (yes…the alert popped up Monday afternoon…just a day after my whole tire adventure), and since I just told this story yet again recently (to my tow truck driver on Sunday) I figured I’d share one of my “when it rains it pours” stories about my car. This is the story I mentioned in the teaser/reminder post, about my car transmission.
So I was headed home from university for winter break one year, and I had my two cats and a friend from high school that wound up eventually following me to university. Wow I just realized how much I’d love to tell the story about this friend of mine, but it’s a whole thing in and of itself so I’ll get into that another time…maybe soon so I’ll make a bit more sense…idk it’ll be fine I’m sure.
Anyways, we lived about an eight and a half hour drive away from our university. We were about an hour and a half to two hours in to our drive, in an area looking just like any other on the main stretch of the journey and I had no clue where precisely I was. All of a sudden, my car started making a weird noise. I’m not even sure I can describe it, but I absolutely will still recognize it to this day and am terrified of hearing it. When my tire was about to blow out it started making a similar noise and it’s only because it was missing the next few things to happen that I didn’t freak out as bad as the first time my battery died. ANYWAYS after it started making a sort of…clunking sound, it started revving (which I will be perfectly honest, happens sometimes with my car especially going at higher speeds with resistance like air or a slight incline or a slight decline), but the next two things were especially weird. The needle on my rpm meter started hard swinging back and forth like a pendulum on a grandfather clock even though I was keeping a steady pressure on my accelerator…and then my acceleration started rapidly declining.
I was in the far left lane of a three lane section of the freeway, and I was rapidly decelerating without any idea why or any ability to get myself to go faster. Also couldn’t find my hazard lights because it wasn’t in the same place as the car I had learned in. Anyways…somehow, miraculously, and with an awful lot of anger on other drivers parts (mostly towards the end because I was freaking out and didn’t just stop) I managed to get all the way over before the next exit, exited, waited at a light to turn left like an absolute dummy, and very very slowly made it into the parking lot of some sort of mall or shopping center thing. Where I then parked, and proceeded to freak the heck out. My friend was freaking out too and honestly I think I had more knowledge about what to do than he did, which considering the near white out panic I was in for at least a moment there is kinda saying something. I didn’t know what was wrong with my car. I tried to compare it to things I’d seen happen and just…didn’t know. My gas was full, the battery seemed to be working, tires all fine of course (don’t even remember if I’d even thought about tires at the time). All I knew was that my car had stopped accelerating at all. Maybe there was something wrong with my accelerator? I just didn’t know. It was out of my depth for what I knew how to deal with.
I started messaging everyone—texting because autocorrect could carry me through the worst of my hands shaking, fingers slipping, and eyes blurring which were all getting in the way of my ability to call anybody. I remember talking a lot with my sister, and a bit with my dad, probably even my mom at some point (who would’ve had a significantly leveler head and some more info than my dad). My sister meanwhile was talking and relaying information back and forth with my niece’s dad who was a mechanic at several points before and during the time we knew him (honestly don’t know if he currently was or wasn’t at that exact time but knowledge and skill like his doesn’t just go away). But whatever I’m amongst all that my sister was also the first to remind me about the AAA our grandma has gotten for all of her grandkids as soon as they start driving (yes, same grandma I travel with all the time. Makes sense, no? Always glad she’s able to do that for the five us).
So I call AAA and my friend is on the phone talking with his mom. My dad, knowing I could get a tow up to 100mi, sends me the address for a steak house exactly 100mi from the shopping center I was in (and had a decent sized parking lot for trucks). Tow truck pulls up, finds out I actually really am aiming for the full 100mi, calls his boss to get clearance for the long distance tow rather than the in town tow he was told he was cleared for because he didn’t want to pass us off to someone else since I guess he was sorta attached to making sure we got through this after hearing probably a full blown spiel from me, gets the OK and loads up my little red spark which I had cracked the windows of for my cats. We all hop into the cab of the truck and he goes and gasses up and as we’re pulling out of the truck gas station, I realize where I am. My car had died just past the exit I usually would stop for coffee at. Needless to say I was a bit superstitious after that and always stopped at that coffee shop either direction after that, whether I needed coffee or not.
So he tows us to the steak house a hundred miles away and it’s dark and the tow truck driver is concerned about leaving us in the middle of nowhere but I reassured him that I have someone with a car trailer on their way already. In case you’re wondering, that would be my sister’s coparent (here on referred to as B) with mechanic experience who would also fix up friends’ cars on the side and even had a couple of project cars.
So yeah we’re waiting there my cats are fine, frustrated over not being done with being in a car yet but seemingly understanding something unusual and out of my control had happened. It’s dark and around late dinner time. There’s a chain restaurant of some kind across the way, so my friend and I walk over there to get some dinner. Before that though, we had a talk because well…we’re wandering around in the dark. Now my friend, he’s tall like super tall and has a face that would at least warn away casual glances. However. He cannot throw a punch or literally defend himself in just about any way whatsoever. Me on the other hand, I unfortunately look like easy pickings. But I can throw a punch and otherwise escape an attacker and potentially help others get away too. So we had an agreement. He’d be there looking big and tough and warning away people, but if anything actually happened I’d be the one throwing fists and feet and getting us out.
I mean, we were fine. Got our food, got back to the car, no problem. But fact remains we had to have that conversation. Anyways it was another 2-4 hours before B showed up with the trailer. But show up eventually he did and he got us loaded up and into his truck (with my cats WITH me this time) and we hit the road, dropping my friend off with his mom at around 0100 and I finally made it home about half an hour after. He left my car on his trailer to get in the morning to take to the dealership.
So the dealership takes a look at it and says “well the transmission is completely dead, good news it’s still covered under the factory warranty.” It took a good while to be replaced but it was and again it was all on warranty.
Now I said “when it rains it pours”.
I could’ve just meant it was something major, out of nowhere right? But no…unfortunately, no. This was the winter break I’d been volunteering at that museum (have I mentioned this before? Eh….) and since I didn’t have my car I borrowed my mom’s. When I finally got my car back, we decided to keep having me use my mom’s car because I’d had to register it with security so they’d know not to charge me for parking. So my car sat in the driveway for the next…let’s say two weeks before I had to head back to university (again with my friend and cats in tow).
So it’s now I think the day before I leave and my dad takes my car to the grocery store and to gas it up for me while I’m working. Only…it doesn’t start. Or gives him problems or something I don’t even know the specifics. B can’t look at it before I have to leave, so we decide to just have my mom and I swap until spring. B came over maybe halfway through my drive and found a rodent nest in the engine compartment (rabbit or rat, we’re not entirely sure). Abandoned, but it looked like they’d chewed through some wires and other connectors to make room for their home. B got it taped together just enough for it to be taken back to the dealership to be properly fixed. It was.
BUT THEN (oh you thought it was over? Haha eh… almost)
It’s not quite spring break yet so my mom and I still have each other’s cars. My mom went to turn the key (on or off I honestly don’t know) and it broke. It was apparently a bit of an adventure for her involving at least three different shops but she got it replaced.
My little red car was running beautifully by the time I got it back 🤣
#story time#mari’s life#life after mari#car trouble#chevy spark#Chevy sparks are shop queens#shop queen#transmission#transmission died#when it rains it pours#stay safe#never go alone
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Raleigh Apartment Culture
So I'm of the mind that Raleigh is a great place to live. It has my favorite things, my favorite people, and I'm too broke to move anywhere else.
Raleigh works for me, but I recognize it doesn't work for everyone. Some people had less than ideal childhoods and wanna escape the state ASAP, some just want to live closer to their dream jobs or have new opportunities. That's all fine, but what if this describes where you are now?
What if, for the sake of argument, you're outside of NC and wanna move in? Moving is expensive, time-consuming, and risky at the best of times; so you wanna make sure that wherever you're landing is at least as good as where you started 90% of the time
"But RL," I hear you say, "you make Raleigh sound like an idyllic dreamscape populated with parks and a diverse kumbayah of peoples living in harmony"
I do talk about Raleigh in a positive light but, like a life saving medicine flavored like ass, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.
So before you spend thousands of dollars on moving vans, boxes, and grits; here's a crash course on what it's like living in a Raleigh apartment, coming from someone whose majority of Raleigh Living (heh) has been in apartments.
First off, location. Any realtor will tell you that location is 80% of the sale to sound profound, and as anyone who has lived in the middle of ass-backward nowhere can tell you: It sucks having to drive 30 minutes to go anywhere.
Good news: With the Raleigh Beltline and connecting roads, there are very few places in Raleigh where your trip will last longer than thirty minutes one-way. Bad News: where you set down still matters because cutting down on travel is important for car and mental health.
North Raleigh is different from south Raleigh is different from northwest Raleigh, and the locals aren't the only difference you'll find between locations. Each segment of Raleigh has something to offer, with easier access to some attractions than others and neighboring cities for when you need something outside the RDU area.
Using downtown as the center of our wheel, people generally divide Raleigh into North and South Raleigh (with distinction given for NW, SE, NE, etc when needed). N.Raleigh is considered generally more upscale, a slice of suburban living interspersed with plenty of shopping centers for families and the moderately wealthy; but it's boring as all hell.
Want some fun? Excitement in the evenings and a more traditional urban experience with bars, night clubs, strip clubs, and more? South Raleigh is your best bet, at the cost of being the "sketchy" side of Raleigh. That kind of place where you'll see a bunch of auto shops that look abandoned but haven't been closed in the past 5 years and there's at least one customer from time to time.
Of course, this is a lot of generalizing but you'll find that it's still mostly accurate. The main exception in this is Capital Blvd, a highway cutting across north and south Raleigh on the eastern half of the city; a high crime corridor that's undergoing some changes in the northern half that have (somewhat) reduced crime but most people will still associate that area with the majority of Raleigh's crime and debauchery.
More importantly, is the distinction Raleigh citizens put on inside the beltline versus outside the beltline. The I-440 and 540 highways that wrap around Downtown form the mythical beltline, and to a degree what you have access to. Inside the beltline is the majority of workplaces, stores, and shopping centers; while outside you'll still have these things just to a more... dispersed extent.
North Raleigh actually kinda exemplifies this perfectly. Living inside the beltline, you have access to places like North Hills, Crabtree Valley mall, and Triangle Town Center. Live outside the beltline, like I currently am, and you're looking at 10 to 15 minutes to the nearest sheetz for that late night double hot dog fix.
So for point one: How important is it that you're near things? The majority of apartments and rental properties are in or around the belt-line, but if you want to save some cash on rent checks the cheaper properties are gonna extend your trips a bit.
Next, what can you expect in terms of neighbors? Does Raleigh have a hip party scene full of teens renting cheap apartments and blasting trap music at 3AM?
Depends on where you live
I swear not every point is going to be this, but there's an important distinction this time that affects the type of people your complex will likely have surrounding you; are you in North or South Raleigh?
North Raleigh has a ton of pre-schools, k-12 public schools (Leesville, Hillburn, Lead Mine, just to name a few), and office complexes that make up the job market. As a result the majority of apartment renters in north Raleigh tend to be families with a few small kids or so.
As a result, living off of Glenwood North and Edwards Mill I never had any noise problems from neighbors, the worst being kids playing outside at 3PM sounding like they were being murdered (which apparently is a common thing and I apologize to any neighbors I frightened with ghastly shrieks).
What I did have a problem with, however, was the typical Karen's you hear people complain about online. Renting a property now, we have access to our neighborhood's NextDoor page and it's hilarious sometimes to go on and read the comments, but living at a certain property we had a sort of mini-Facebook for residents
That thing was always full of either people who were moving out looking to sell their furniture or people passive-aggressively challenging each other/the apartment managers with comments about things happening around the complex.
Once I logged in to see one man accuse another, without ever actually accusing someone specific ("I know who did it and they should be ashamed" type post) of putting glass beer bottles under the tires of his truck to try and puncture them. Everyone acts civil in public, but then online they'll stir the pot harder than a chef with a hand mixer.
South Raleigh, you have the schools like Shaw University, Meredith, and NCSU; so the people renting down there are typically college kids. You'll see more apartments that cater towards them like University Village or University Woods, but sometimes these places will cater to both college kids and working adults
Avoid these places like the plague, because despite sometimes having a lower cost to live there the neighbors and their shenanigans will drive you up the wall (unless you're the type to join in, then go wild).
I've had friends stay at places like University Village and The Proper (formerly The Vie, formerly Wolf Creek) who've shared horror stories. 3AM parties ending in property damage or vomit in inconvenient places, drug deals not even trying to be subtle, and maintenance workers doing nothing because regardless of the apartment conditions; no school's gonna pull their contract with them unless news articles start getting written.
http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_898ddf34-82f5-11e7-b3d8-07059d248619.html
https://www.wral.com/vie-at-raleigh-residents-finally-able-to-move-into-clean-units/16887833/
http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_ea8ed7aa-a092-11e8-a2af-e70af36566d0.html
Otherwise, south Raleigh apartments are largely like north Raleigh apartments; except the crime rate tends to be a little higher and you'll run into more singles and people working full time.
Otherwise, Raleigh apartment culture is like apartment culture anywhere else in the country. You have a mix of apartments catering to those just looking to live versus more ostentatious luxury apartments with fancy pools, exercise facilities, and tech packages to draw people in.
If you're renting in Raleigh, however, do try to get a roommate or two if you can manage. Even with a decent job paying 800+ on a one bedroom one bath apartment can be exhausting at best, but with even one other person that can functionally halve your expenses
So if you're a young professional, or a student, or even if you have a small family, I can safely recommend renting in Raleigh. There's plenty of places that'll accommodate you, and cater towards your needs.
But what about everyone else? Are there people who shouldn't rent in Raleigh?
No
But there are groups who I'd seriously ask to consider their other choices before picking Raleigh as a destination for their new home.
For instance, are you a member of the LGBT community? A trans or non-binary individual? Well then, first off, I want you to know that you're loved and valid. I'm accepting of who you are and appreciate everyone's right to identify how they choose, but I'm not everyone.
Raleigh's bluer than other parts of North Carolina, as I've stated in other blog write-ups, but it's still part of North Carolina unfortunately and as a result, you'll face some challenges.
I doubt anyone's gonna burn a cross in your yard or knock over your mailbox, but Raleigh doesn't offer LGBT protections for housing, jobs, or credit/lending discriminations according to the Movement Advancement Project's website.
We have support organizations for LGBT and NB individuals, plenty of high schools and colleges have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs, and there are numerous businesses downtown that cater specifically to those individuals... but we're also the state that got into a lot of hot water because of a stupid bathroom bill, and our politicians are trying to pass anti-trans sports legislation (because they now magically care about the integrity of womens sports).
By that measure, but to a lesser extent, if you fall outside the Liberal/Conservative political spectrum then be prepared to have no one to discuss your politics with outside of a few sparse networks like the DSA.
Additionally, if you don't have someone to room with or a significant other to split costs with; you may want to try searching somewhere a little cheaper.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Raleigh housing prices aren't terrible for a major metropolitan city, but we're not the best prices in the world.
You can get prices on apartments and rentals lower than say, California or New York. However, compared to other parts of NC like Greensboro or Garner; rentals are still a bit much.
On average, a Raleigh apartment can run you about $900 for a single bedroom and a single bathroom. You can find cheaper, but often times there's some risk associated (Crime levels, quality of the room, quality of the property manager, etc.) Looking for a two bedroom? Then your average price is gonna jump up to around $1,200, and this is all before utilities and cable come into play.
It's true a lot of companies around here will pay more than the $7.25 minimum wage, but most low-skilled jobs will pay around 10-11 an hour.
I guess though, that's kind of an obvious statement. "Don't live in Raleigh if you can't afford to live in Raleigh."
I might expand on these thoughts at a later time, but hopefully for now I've given you some food for thought; or at the very least an entertaining read for a few minutes.
I love my city, and I love the friends I've made in it, but the sad truth is that nowhere is perfect for everyone; leastways Raleigh. If Raleigh sounds like the kind of place you'd like to live in, at least take a day trip to come visit and see how things go that way. Visit some stores, meet some locals, and form an opinion off of more than travel blogs and youtube videos.
#raleigh#North Carolina#NC#north carolina#travel#photography#urban photography#city life#city#city of raleigh#advice
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SquipJere Week 2020, Day 3: Dance Dance Revolution
@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020
Day 3: Dance Dance Revolution
Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere), Jake Dillinger x Christine Canigula (UpStage/ChrisJake), Jeremy Heere x Brooke Lohst (Puppy Love)
Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.
Trigger/Content Warnings: Implied child abuse; non-graphic mentions of vomiting; kissing and mentions of kissing
Author’s Notes: I actually had no ideas for this one at first, and then it turned into my longest piece so far for the week! I love DDR and games like it, so this was really fun to write, even if a lot of it is set-up. Enjoy!
Jeremy could only put off hanging out with Rich for so long. For someone who was once so eager to grab Jeremy and stuff him into a locker that was much too small for him, now Rich was way too enthusiastic about meeting up with Jeremy outside of school.
Unfortunately, it was still too early in their ‘friendship’ – could they really call it that? Was it possible to be friends with the guy who had been bullying you constantly for the past two years? – for Jeremy to feel comfortable going over to Rich’s house. Besides, he didn’t want to have to deal with Rich’s dad, who seemed like a nightmare. Jeremy would rather not have a beer bottle thrown at his head or be accused of being Rich’s secret boyfriend. Despite all the torment Rich had put him through, Jeremy couldn’t help feeling a bit bad. He could tell through their connection that Rich definitely didn’t have an easy time at home. Jeremy’s dad was an embarrassment at worst, but Rich’s was dangerous at worst, and nobody deserved that.
So instead of hanging out after school, Jeremy suggested that they do something on a Saturday. Rich, from what Jeremy could glean, tended to spend his weekends out of the house, usually with Jake. And Jeremy wasn’t exactly familiar with the ‘cool places’ in town they could go to, so he left that decision up to Rich and just prayed it would be something he could handle. There were only a handful of places that he ventured out to when he ventured out at all: the park, the old dumpy arcade, the grocery store, and the mall. The rest of town, despite living here for sixteen years, was something of a mystery to him.
Rich would definitely pick a place that would help Jeremy be deemed as cool, because Rich was cool. And Jeremy bet that Rich’s SQUIP was helping him pick, if it was anywhere near as bossy as his own.
So it came as a surprise to Jeremy when Rich said they should hit up the local Dave & Buster’s. It was like the old dumpy arcade, except less old and dumpy.
Jeremy’s SQUIP didn’t have anything against it, so plans were made. But of course because Rich was going, Jake was going and bringing Christine along. And because Jake was going, Chloe was going. And because Chloe was going, Brooke was going. And because Brooke was going, Jenna was going.
So suddenly this casual hangout with Rich felt a lot more daunting. Because it was no longer just with Rich, who was more than enough on his own for Jeremy to handle.
Nonetheless, the SQUIP urged him not to bail out. “That won’t look good at all,” it warned. “And this is your chance to be in an environment where your…geekier interests and their popular tastes overlap. You can’t give up this opportunity.”
And so Saturday came. The SQUIP convinced Jeremy to eat something before he left despite Jeremy feeling like if he put anything into his stomach, it would immediately come right back up. But by some miracle – or a certain supercomputer’s influence – he managed to get down a half-decent meal, and then off he went. The SQUIP told Jeremy to take his father’s car, since it was highly unlikely the man would notice, and it was of course more convenient than waiting for a bus or having to pay for an Uber.
Jeremy had never actually been to this place before, although from what he could recall it was relatively new. Or maybe it wasn’t, and he just hadn’t cared to notice it because he and a certain hoodie-loving ex-friend of his preferred the local arcade, even if it was more run-down and much less crowded. Or maybe that was why they preferred it.
Because as Jeremy set foot into Dave & Buster’s, he was immediately overwhelmed by the blaring music, the bright neon lights of the countless games, and the crowd of people mulling about.
“Oh God…” he mumbled, feeling his stomach turn.
The SQUIP flickered into existence beside him, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “It’s a Saturday,” it reminded. “This was bound to be the busiest day.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that? I don’t…do big groups of people, you know that!”
“Maybe it’s time to change that. It may benefit you to have an audience.”
“An aud—”
“Heere!” Jeremy’s protest was cut off by a familiar voice and he turned to see Rich bounding up to him with the rest of the popular kids in tow. Great, he was the last to arrive, but maybe he could brush it off as being fashionably late, even though he was pretty sure he was actually a few minutes early. And it was then that Jeremy also realized that he had been speaking out loud to his SQUIP, and he received a small fizzle of static against his back as a reminder to think at the supercomputer while he was around his new group of apparent friends.
“Uh, hey, Rich,” Jeremy returned, fighting back the urge to smack himself for how lame of a greeting that was. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were all here already. Hope you weren’t waiting long.”
Rich shrugged. “Nah, it’s chill. We were just wandering around checking out all the games.” He grinned and elbowed Jake in the side. “Jakey D here tried to use his fake ID at the bar and got caught.”
Jake’s cheeks flushed and he lightly shoved at Rich. “Only because you look like you’re still in middle school!”
Brooke covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. “It was only because Christine apologized and promised it wouldn’t happen again that he didn’t get himself kicked out.”
Christine smiled shyly. “I wouldn’t want the day ruined before it even started…Besides, who drinks this early in the day anyway?”
The others laughed, to Jake’s chagrin, and Christine absolutely beamed as it sunk in that she’d said something they actually found funny. Well, Chloe wasn’t really laughing, but she was hyper-focused on her phone – with Jenna not-so-subtly trying to snoop over her shoulder – so she might not have even been paying attention. Jeremy realized this place probably wasn’t really her particular speed, but she had come along because, of course, she had to keep tabs on Jake. They weren’t back together, were they? Jake looked like he was still very much with Christine. Or at least ‘courting’ her, if they weren’t actively dating.
And speaking of courting, Brooke chose that moment to saunter over and peck Jeremy on the cheek, making his face warm. “We’re glad you made it, though,” she told him. “And that we didn’t get thrown out and end up leaving you here alone!”
“Ah…” Jeremy gave a nervous chuckle and a little bashful smile. “Y-yeah, I’m glad you didn’t get kicked out. So, uh, what should we do first?”
And off they went. There was a good mix of kids and adults enjoying their Saturday, so Christine made a polite request that they watch their language – which was reiterated after Jeremy beat Rich in air hockey and gave a loud “oh fuck you, tall-ass!”, although Jeremy was pretty sure that the insult was actually more teasing than anything else. It had been quite a match to watch, considering they obviously both had their SQUIPs assisting them. Jeremy tried not to focus on the fact that his SQUIP had laid its hand on top of his to alter his movements when necessary.
Some of the games were rather well-known titles while others were so obscure Jeremy couldn’t help wondering if Michael would know them. They made their way around the entire collection, and to his own surprise Jeremy found himself actually having fun. He was better at the more classic arcade-style games but he still gave the rest a fair shot. Christine, who didn’t seem like she dabbled in video games very much at all, found out she was rather good at Temple Run and some knockoff version of Whac-A-Mole. Rich and Jake of course went right for all the shoot-‘em-up games where they could pretend to blow the heads off of zombies. Jenna was actually pretty talented at the various trivia and timing games, although Jeremy supposed that came from years of sticking her nose into everything. He was pretty sure Chloe didn’t touch a single game in the time they were there, and at one point Brooke tried to drag Jeremy into one of the enclosed games – it was a haunted house or something – to make out, to which he turned bright red and, despite the SQUIP’s insistence in the back of his mind, told her that they shouldn’t abandon the others or they’d get upset.
Jeremy was pretty sure after a couple of hours that they’d gone through almost every game in the building and he was about to suggest that maybe they grab snacks or something, but then Christine suddenly perked up and pointed. “What’s that one?”
They all turned – Jeremy thought he even saw Chloe glance up from her phone – to see a tall game station with a metal platform in front of it, and on the platform were brightly colored arrows.
Jake raised an eyebrow. “Is that DDR?”
Jeremy frowned and glanced around at the others before stepping forward to get a better look at the game. “No, I think it’s a knockoff,” he replied, looking up at the top of the cabinet. There was definitely a name there that wasn’t Dance Dance Revolution but it was in too many eye-straining fonts for him to actually make out what it said. His gaze swiveled back down to the arrows on the platform. “DDR has the arrows going left, right, up, and down, but these ones are on the corners.”
He realized a beat too late that implying he had played DDR before was probably not something he should divulge to the cool kids, but when he looked around for his SQUIP, he found it giving him a little smile and nodding in approval.
Before he could react, though, he felt a hard nudge at his back and turned around to see Rich snickering. “Well, go on, tall-ass! Dance for us!”
“What?” Jeremy immediately sputtered in a way he was positive was uncool and his face went bright red. “I-I’m not gonna dance!”
Chloe smirked at him, lowering her phone – why did she have to lower her phone now of all times? – and put a hand on her hip. “Come on, Jere. Since you seem to know about this kind of game.”
Brooke giggled. “It’ll be fun, Jer-bear.”
Christine clasped her hands together, grinning at him, her eyes almost shining. “I’d love to see how you dance, Jeremy.”
Jeremy’s gaze flicked around to each of them and he suddenly felt very cornered, sweat slipping down the back of his neck. However, a wave of calm swiftly fell over him and he released a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding. He peeked to the side and saw the SQUIP standing there, giving him a confident smile.
It reached up to gently tap Jeremy’s nose, which felt more like a tiny spark of static. “Come on, dear,” it purred. “Let’s dance.”
He knew there was no getting out of it now, so he sighed, pushing his hair back and shaking his head. “It’s not as if these games actually look like dancing,” he muttered as he plodded up to the platform. “They look more like your legs are spazzing out.”
The rest of the group quickly crowded around, eagerly watching as Jeremy stepped onto the arrows to activate the game and pull up the song list. He could almost feel the confusion as they looked over the options.
“What are these?” Jenna huffed out.
“It looks like Japanese,” Jake commented, tilting his head as if that would help him read the foreign characters better. Or maybe Jake could understand Japanese; Jeremy wouldn’t be surprised, considering how much Jake threw himself into extra skills at school.
Jeremy decided it was better to hold his tongue than admit that he actually did recognize some of these as covers of Vocaloid and Touhou songs. He was pretty sure a few on the list were actually Korean and not Japanese, but he didn’t recognize them regardless. He tapped his foot against one of the arrows to scroll through and see if anything looked particularly interesting.
The SQUIP suddenly held up a hand and Jeremy found himself frozen in place, blinking at the screen. The song title was in Japanese, but upon hearing the rhythm and a few of the words in the preview snippet, he recognized it as a Touhou song, although not one he knew well enough to recall the name of. And it sounded like a remix, nonetheless.
“‘Four Seasons of Loneliness,’” the SQUIP translated, smirking sideways at him. “Pick this one.”
Why?
He got his answer from Brooke: “Sounds hard and fast.”
Ignoring the snicker from Rich at the obvious joke, Jeremy selected the song and was about to begin the game when the SQUIP once again stopped him. With yet another smirk, it upped the difficulty to the max and Jeremy had to keep his jaw from dropping.
“Damn, look at you, J-Man, all confident!” Jake whistled, and Jeremy felt his blood run cold.
I’m going to embarrass myself, he lamented as he confirmed his selection and the loading screen came on. Not only was the difficulty at its highest, but it was set so that he’d have to use every arrow, not those just designated for a single player on one side of the two-player platform.
“No, you won’t,” the SQUIP soothed, appearing in front of him and taking his hands. Jeremy couldn’t help blushing as those familiar cool fingers curled around his already sweaty hands. “Just let me do all the work.”
Jeremy had thought that the SQUIP wanted him to become more independent. Then again, it had also recited his lines for him during play rehearsal so he didn’t have to take the time to memorize them. Maybe this was along the same lines. But this wasn’t going to be like when the SQUIP had led him in a slow waltz – honestly, he wasn’t even sure it had been a waltz, he didn’t know shit about dancing – around the imaginary Hogwarts Great Hall. This was going to be quick-paced – the BPM had been 178 and while Jeremy wasn’t a music expert, he was pretty sure that was fast – and in front of an audience.
So that was what it had meant earlier.
You predicted this, didn’t you? he accused, heart jumping as the first beats of the song came on.
The SQUIP laughed. “Perhaps. Now let’s give your new friends a show.”
The song opened and Jeremy felt like he couldn’t move, frozen with fear like a prey animal, but then suddenly the SQUIP gave his hands a little squeeze and his entire body started moving on its own. It wasn’t the first time the SQUIP had stepped in to autopilot his body but it had never been to move around like this.
He had to make sure to restrain himself from looking too surprised, because as far as the others knew – except for maybe Rich – he was doing this all on his own. So he just swallowed the lump in his throat and let his feet fly across the platform, hitting every arrow in perfect time. When he was on one side of the platform and had to get to an arrow all the way on the other side in less than a millisecond, he was suddenly over there, which he didn’t think would be possible. Even if someone was controlling his body, he was still in no way built to be a dancer. Or at least, a cool and popular one.
He looked up at his SQUIP, who was still holding his hands and grinning widely at him. When Jeremy peeked down, he saw that the SQUIP’s feet were moving in time with his and, unlike when they’d slow-danced and the SQUIP had been dancing in front of him, now their feet blended together.
One of the others whistled and whooped from behind him. “Go, Heere!” Rich called, and Jeremy could feel his excitement buzz through their connection.
And despite his earlier nerves, Jeremy found himself breaking into a grin, adrenaline pumping through his veins. To the others it would seem like he was intently watching the screen, but he was truly just watching his SQUIP in absolute awe. He didn’t even need to know what arrows to press because by the time they popped up in the game, he was already there and moving on to the next arrow.
The SQUIP even let him show off a bit – although could it be considering ‘showing off’ if he wasn’t the one actually doing it? – and threw in a few spins and jumps for flare, earning him more cheers from his friends. He would think that this entire display would be considered rather dorky, but his body was moving so fast that even if the game was childish, his so-called dancing was too unreal for it not to be impressive.
All that existed in that moment was him and his SQUIP. Even the music, upbeat and catchy as it was, faded into the background. It wasn’t like he could understand the lyrics anyway. Jeremy had had moments before when he’d felt unusually close to the SQUIP – he knew, in reality, they were always close considering that the SQUIP was inside his brain – but there had only been a few moments these past few months where he’d really, truly felt in sync with his own personal supercomputer.
And he liked how it felt.
Before he knew it, the song was over and he found himself striking a pose. He realized he was soaked in sweat, but he barely felt winded, although he had a sneaking suspicion that that was the SQUIP’s doing. He looked up at the SQUIP once more, who smiled and stepped back, dipping down to press its lips to the back of Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy was absolutely dumbstruck at the small but notably warm fizzle of static against his skin, but then the SQUIP’s form blinked out of sight and Jeremy found himself staring at the screen with his mouth open in shock.
The last notes of the song faded and his score flashed onto the screen, a chipper female voice declaring, “Yeah, I knew you could do it!” There were quite a number of ‘Perfects’ but also a good mix of ‘Greats’ and ‘Goods,’ as if the SQUIP hadn’t wanted to make it seem like Jeremy had achieved the impossible on his first try at this obscure knockoff game.
He stumbled as Brooke suddenly crashed into him in an embrace. “Jeremy, that was amazing! I had no idea you could move like that!” She put her hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a somewhat messy kiss, making his cheeks burn, but he didn’t get the same fuzzy feeling in his chest that he’d gotten before, when the SQUIP had had his hand.
“Ah…” He smiled shyly once they’d broken apart for air and his chest heaved, the exhaustion from his dancing suddenly setting in. “Th-thanks. I just kinda…went for it.”
Jake grinned, flashing him a thumbs-up. “Looks like all that DDR and dancing alone in your bedroom didn’t go to waste, huh?”
Jeremy tried to come up with a retort, but he quickly realized that more than just his small gathering of friends was watching. Quite a few of the other patrons were looking at him, muttering to each other about how remarkable that had been. He even heard one little girl squeal, “I wanna dance like him!” which earned an amused chuckle from her parents.
Jeremy gently pulled away from Brooke, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thanks, guys. Uh, you can stop staring now.”
It looked like the group wasn’t going to drop it any time soon, though, as they led him off to find a place to sit down. Jeremy couldn’t help peeking over his shoulder, expecting to see the SQUIP right by him as it usually was, but instead it had reappeared beside the dancing game, watching with a surprisingly fond smile as the little girl bounded over to the platform and started tapping away at the arrows.
Jeremy’s heart squeezed. Maybe he’d ask Rich if they could meet up here again at some point.
#SquipJere Week 2020#lynx tales#mine#writing#Be More Chill#BMC Jeremy Heere#BMC SQUIP#Technical Difficulties#Squipemy#Squeremy#JereSquip#SquipJere#BMC Rich Goranski#BMC Jake Dillinger#BMC Christine Canigula#BMC Brooke Lohst#BMC Chloe Valentine#BMC Jenna Rolan#UpStage#ChrisJake#Puppy Love#BMC#fic#fanfiction#i don't have a fancy queue tag
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We Survived the Crisis, Babe
Chapter 9 is finally here after a lot of struggle (also holy shit we’re on chapter 9)
As always, comment to get on the taglist!!
Read the rest on ao3
Chapter 9 - Lex
Lex steeled her nerves at the front entrance to Toy Zone, Wiggly clutched tightly in her fist. Lex had made sure to position her fingers to clamp around its neck. That’s what it deserved. Lex was going to choke the life out of it in more ways than one.
Tom had left moments ago with the gun and an ‘I don’t trust you with this because you’re holding it wrong,’ to go around the back. Lex had given him brief directions through the stockroom, up the first staircase to the second floor. He was going to take down Linda on top, while Lex went after Hannah below. She just hoped she wasn’t too late.
The assholes hadn’t shown any mercy to Frank after all. Nor to her. And definitely not to Ethan. Hannah would be no different.
Lex was still reeling over the news about Ethan. She was desperately trying to shove it down, push it aside for her own sake. If she thought about it too much she might break. She had to focus on getting Hannah out of this mall, then she could break down and cry and scream and throw things. Now, she had to be brave. For Ethan.
She was snapped out of her stupor when Hannah screamed, which set every single one of Lex’s nerves buzzing. It was now or never.
Lex shoved aside her apprehension and lunged into the store with a shout that drew all attention to her.
She wasn’t prepared for what she saw.
She was prepared for the cultists staring at her like they wanted to eat her alive. She was prepared for the murderous look on Linda Monroe’s face, which now sported a bloody nose which made her look even more terrifying. She had even sort of mentally prepared herself for her terrified, vulnerable sister kneeling in the center of it all, trying to shield herself from the mob.
But all of her bravado scrambled in her brain with a million other feelings when she saw Ethan Green.
Lex wanted to start crying, but what emotion it would convey she wasn’t sure. Ethan was alive. God, he was alive. But he didn’t look good. His face was covered in cut and bruises, and beneath his leather jacket, uncharacteristically unzipped, Lex could see a disturbing amount of blood on his shirt. His flannel was tied around his stomach in a makeshift bandage, and thinking about what Ethan had been trying to keep clean made Lex's stomach roll.
Unlike Hannah, Ethan’s hands were bound behind him, and there was a gag in his mouth. The worst part was the knife. The knife that the man in the baseball hat, the one who had started the riot and set off a chain reaction, held against Ethan’s throat.
Lex couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He was doing his best to hide it, but Lex could tell that he was in pain, and he was scared. She could tell by the tension in his shoulders and the look in his eyes.
Part of Lex wondered if this was some kind of cruel trick. If Webby had planted this in her mind to distract her. If he was, it was working. The other part of her knew that this was real. It was really Ethan in front of her, alive, and close to death. Lex didn’t know which was worse.
Stay focused, Lex, she chided herself as the cult oohed and aahed over the Wiggly she was brandishing. Ethan and Hannah need you.
“Is this what you’re lookin’ for?” She asked, trying desperately to keep her voice steady. She still had to be brave for Ethan, after all. It just wasn’t in the way she imagined.
“I haven’t changed my mind, little girl,” Linda said, apparently still holding court on the second floor of Toy Zone. “I still want you dead. I still want both of you dead!”
Checked Baseball Hat dug the knife a little deeper into Ethan’s throat and he winced, which made Lex flinch involuntarily.
Linda made an ‘awwww’ sound, which just pissed Lex off more.
“You’re not going to fucking touch either one of them!” Lex yelled back. The anger she had felt in the parking lot returned in full force. Linda was still going to pay for doing this. “Not if you want the doll.”
Linda laughed at her, a full-body, hysterical belly laugh that just pissed Lex off more. “God, and I thought your sister was stupid,” she continued. “Coming into the Lion’s Den, completely outnumbered, with a doll that I am going to take no matter what you do?” Linda leaned over to drive her point home. “You’re a fucking moron!”
“Well I guess,” came Mr. Houston’s voice, a voice Lex never thought she’d be so happy to hear in her life. “You’ve been outfoxed by a couple of fucking morons.”
He came up behind Linda and pressed the gun against the side of her head, looking enraged, but not the Wiggly kind of enraged. It wasn’t the insane rage that Linda or her followers had. It was the kind of enraged that Superheroes looked when they were saving cities from bad guys. The kind of enraged that was going to protect Hannah and Ethan.
“Now-” Mr. Houston stopped abruptly. The anger on his face was replaced by a concoction of shock and concern and guilt as he set eyes on Ethan. “Ethan?”
Oh . That was who Mr. Houston had seen in the Cineplex. The mysterious third person that the cult had taken. So he probably felt kind of bad leaving one of his favorite students behind.
Mr. Houston seemed to take a moment to regain his composure, then pointed the gun at the cultists and shouted with new ferocity. “Back off and let the kids go!”
Most of the cultists forgot all about Hannah and Ethan when their prophet was in danger. They turned from Hannah, who scrambled to her feet and ran to Lex.
Lex’s veins were flooded with relief like it was crack. She tugged Hannah into the shadows behind a shelf and kissed her sister about fifteen times on the top of her head, asking if Hannah was okay, and whispering how sorry she was. But Hannah wasn’t focused on any of that.
“Ethan,” she whimpered.
Lex looked over and all fifty emotions she’d been feeling came rushing back. One of the cultists hadn’t moved, hadn’t agreed to Mr. Houston’s demands to release Ethan and Hannah. The man with the checkered baseball hat still held on to Ethan and hadn’t removed the knife at his neck.
“Maybe you didn’t hear me.” Mr. Houston’s eyes, like Lex’s and Hannah’s, were fixed on Ethan. “I said let the kid go.”
“Release the prophet,” Checkered Hat Man said evenly and without hesitation. “Then maybe I’ll ‘let the kid go.’”
Mr. Houston and Ethan locked eyes. Some sort of exchange passed between them and Mr. Houston seemed to be making some sort of calculation. Lex realized that Mr. Houston was trying to figure out how to shoot Checkered Hat Man without losing his grip on Linda.
“Help him, Lexie,” Hannah whispered, near tears. “Plan won’t work. Plan won’t work.”
Lex made a choice. She looked at Wiggly, still clutched in her hand and marched into the center of the cult. Ethan made another muffled sound against the gag, looking at her like she’d absolutely lost it. And she probably had, but she had a plan.
Actually, calling it a plan was generous. It was more like a vague idea to force Checkered Hat Man to let Ethan go, maybe.
“Hey, assholes!” Lex pulled a cigarette lighter out of her pocket. “If Wiggly really is your god, then let him stop me from doing this !”
She held the lighter up under Wiggly and all of the cultists lost their fucking minds. Again, all of their focus was on the doll. They barely seemed to even see Lex. All of their focus was on what might happen to their so-called-God, which was good. There was something to this plan, after all.
When Checkered Hat Man made no move to release Ethan and met Lex’s eyes with a challenge. Lex realized something. Her own plan had the same flawed logic as Mr. Houston’s. She and Mr. Houston both assumed that Checkered Hat Man would abandon Ethan in the hope of saving first Linda, then Wiggly. But, unfortunately, as insane, psychopathic and murderous as this guy was, he apparently wasn’t as stupid as the rest of his cult.
He had made a calculation of his own and it went something like this. As long as Checkered Hat Man held Ethan, he had leverage. Lex and Mr. Houston would not carry out their plans if it meant endangering Ethan. So he would not be letting Ethan go.
Lex flicked her eyes away from Ethan for a split second, up to meet Mr. Houston’s, who apparently had had the same realization. Mr. Houston was getting desperate now. Lex could see it. Mr. Houston cared about Ethan even more than he had let on at school or in the parking lot earlier.
The cult took advantage of Lex’s distraction, and she felt Wiggly being ripped from her hands and someone shoving her off balance. She tumbled down the stairs, landing hard on her side. Ouch. Slowly, Lex got to her feet, wincing.
She looked back over at Ethan, who had started to fight weakly against Checkered Hat Man, in a desperate attempt to escape and get to Lex, which, while very cute, was not going to work, and was agitating his captor. And with the knife so close to his throat, Lex really didn’t want it to continue.
Idiot. Her heart was filled with so much affection that she had to remind herself that this was life or death and that her dumb boyfriend was going to get himself killed.
She sent him a pointed glare that said I’m fine. Stop doing stupid things.
Ethan must have gotten the message because he quit struggling, and Checkered Hat Man regained his death grip on him.
“How many times are you going to DO that?” Checkered Hat Man said through gritted teeth. “You really don’t learn, do you?”
When he repositioned the knife, he, accidentally, or on purpose, nicked the front of Ethan’s neck, drawing blood. Lex saw Mr. Houston’s face turn ashen when he saw what happened and the gun in his hand went slack just a little bit.
But that little bit was enough for Linda to seize the opportunity and knock the gun out of Mr. Houston’s hand and knock him to the ground. Mr. Houston fell out of sight of Lex, and she saw no sign of him.
Lex was frantic now. Despite all of Ethan’s countless other injuries, seeing someone actively make him bleed set off all of her panic synapses in a completely different way. She had to get him out of this. She could not lose him.
Her frantic swiveling back and forth had Lex set her eyes on the, miraculously still standing, bin of little girl’s flowery aluminum baseball bats.
Time for Plan B. The direct approach.
While Checkered Hat Man was smart, he was no less mesmerized by Wiggly than his cohorts. That meant, while he still held Ethan, he was distracted from Lex. So he didn’t see her move towards the bin and grab a bat.
Checkered Hat Man still didn’t notice when she marched up behind him and, careful not to accidentally hit Ethan, brought it down hard on the back of his head.
He collapsed instantly, knife clattering to the floor and arm dropping from Ethan, who, without someone holding him, collapsed to the floor. Lex looked over and by some miracle, the cult was too consumed by some weird ritual involving Wiggly to notice what Lex had just done.
Lex didn’t waste a second. She grabbed the knife off the floor and used it to cut Ethan’s bonds, then hooked her elbows under his arms and dragged him, as gently as she could, out of harm’s way, and into the shadows with Hannah.
Lex set down the knife beside them, then laid Ethan’s head in her lap and gently removed the gag from his mouth.
“Lex…” Ethan said weakly as soon as he could speak, his arm trembling as he reached up to touch her. “Are you… are you real?”
Lex ran her fingers through his dark curls with one hand, while her other hand gripped his tightly.
“I’m real.” Hearing his voice, tired and full of pain as it was, almost broke Lex completely. “Ethan I… I thought you…I want to...”
“I know,” Ethan said softly. That was good, because Lex sure didn’t know what she wanted to say. “Me too.”
"Ethan?" Hannah cut in, her voice trembling. She came to kneel beside him and let her hand rest on his arm.
"Hey, Banana," Ethan managed one of his heart-melting smiles. "You were so brave right there. Told you there was SuperHannah in ya."
"You were brave," Hannah replied fiercely. "Punching Linda. Even though they hurt you."
"You punched Linda?" Lex asked incredulously. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to kiss him or slap him for doing something so insane. No wonder they had tied him up. "Ethan, you dumbass. They could have killed you for that."
"Had to," Ethan replied matter-of-factly. "Linda had a knife... She was threatening Hannah."
"Ethan..." Lex leaned down and softly pressed her forehead to his. "You're my fucking hero."
"Hey, you're pretty heroic yourself," Ethan murmured back. "You rescued me. Hitting Checkered Hat Man with a baseball bat. Kinda incredible."
Lex laughed, in spite of herself, and pressed her lips to Ethan's forehead.
Now would be a really awesome time to tell him that thing you want to tell him, The very annoying and correct side of Lex’s brain said. But the logical side told her she couldn’t. Not now, when they were still very much in the Lion’s Den and in danger. But at this moment, Lex’s world was narrow. It was just her, and Ethan and Hannah in the tiny dark corner of Toy Zone.
Before Lex could decide, she heard Linda tell her followers that Wiggly said to kill them.
Taglist: @hurricanehellion, @asshole-gay-797, @ethngreen, @just-a-side-kick, @theirishhufflepuff, @somegeekychic, @curse-brekker, @unusual-ly, @softotacoo, @believeinasmilinggodtoday, @not-so-happy-camper, @weareindeedbastards, @polaris-and-ink
#ethan green#lex foster#hannah foster#tom houston#becky barnes#linda monroe#curt mega#lex foster x ethan green#lex x ethan#this is sad then it gets cute#then it gets bad again#lex loves ethan very much#so does tom he just wont admit it#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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My Universe
For Better or For Worse
Pairing/Character: reader x Galaxy-and-star-collector
Word Count: 1602
Warnings: angst, real person fiction, real person shipping, divorce alluded to
A/N: This was looked over by the lovely @iflostreturntosteverogers/@littlehotmess26 but all mistakes are my own. This was for Mel’s 3k Celebration my prompt was “Why do you hate me?” @fictionalabyss Also listen to What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong for the full experience.
You stared at the empty space on your bed thinking back to where it all began.
☆☆☆☆
It was like any other day, the sun was out, kids were playing on the street, and you were alone in a house too big for one. You had run your finger over your wedding band, you had thought it would be the start to so much better, to more happy days than bad, but you were wrong. They pushed you away harder, pulling in on themselves further. You knew they had relapsed but they denied it saying it was an alley cat.
You took the band off your finger and placed it on the counter. There it sat on top of the note you rewrote so many times mocking you. You grabbed your already packed suitcase and looked around the kitchen once more before heading to the door. Your hand wavered just a moment before you took a deep breath and walked out. The sun was shining bright and full and yet all you felt was the cold chill of the air slap at your face. You caught the first bus you could thanking God you lived near a bus stop. You needed to be anywhere, anywhere that is, but here. Once seated on the bus you broke down into tears. The other patrons just left you be, your grief an overwhelming storm cloud on the bus.
Eventually the bus emptied and you were alone with just you and the driver and after 2 more stops he said it was the end of the line. You got out and found the closest hotel booking a room for at least a week. After crawling onto the bed exhausted you started up your phone and saw 50 messages and 27 missed calls. You couldn’t open the messages and broke down again leaving the phone on the dresser falling into a fitful sleep.
You dreamt of what you wrote the words echoing in your head. “To my beloved Galaxy, I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much to love you when all you do is destroy yourself. We were supposed to be a team, til death do us part and yet you pushed me away more than ever. You never come home, never tell me if you’re okay so I sit and worry each and every day. You are my best friend and that’s why it pains me to say that this is unfortunately our end. Please don’t try and find me I can’t do it anymore. I love you mi amore."
You woke up with a jolt to someone knocking on your door, well knocking was the polite term more like banging. You glanced at the time and noted it was 10:30 pm. You stumbled out of the bed and wiped the tears from your face. Standing on your toes to look out of the peephole you saw them. They looked worse for wear, they had sweat dripping down their face and tears as well, their hair was a fiasco, hair sticking to their face and at all odd angles. You heard someone yell at them to shut up and they just crumpled to their knees and with the soft thunk you heard you imagined they let their head rest against the door. With a sigh and a heavy heart you kept the door closed your hand resting against the door knob. A soft "please” was heard and your heart shattered. You opened the door slowly, which caught them off guard as they had started to fall forward with you opening the door.
"I don’t expect you to forgive me or to take me back but please it can’t end like this. I’m scared of losing you please don’t do this.“ They sobbed and curled up into themself even more. You reached out to touch them before pulling your hand back and shook your head.
"Why do you hate me?” You asked softly refusing to look at them. From the corner of your eye you saw them flinch and pull back.
"I don’t hate you I love you more than anything please…just take me back I can do better!“
"I can’t do that and you know that. Please…just go…” you said softly the tears clouding your vision. Their head lowered in defeat and you closed the door again leaving them there. You turned your back to the door and slid down its surface a heart wrenching sob tearing out of you. You cried until no more tears would come, until no sounds left your throat, until you passed out from exhaustion.
You woke up the next day and slowly pulled yourself to your feet an awful crick in your neck and back from having slept on the floor propped up against the door. You slowly peeked out of the peephole again and seeing no one quickly dressed yourself and grabbed your wallet to go get food to at least start your day. You found a small gas station nearby where you purchased some eggs and some milk just to make something quick to eat, knowing you wouldn’t be able to stand much more than that.
You quickly headed back to your room and made yourself some scrambled eggs. You grabbed your phone from the bed room and saw that you had 5 more missed calls and some more texts but you couldn’t find it in your heart to read them and so you did the only thing you could think to do. Your finger hovered above the button before pressing it down blocking their number. You let a few tears fall down your face before going back to making your eggs and plating them. You stared down at the meal but couldn’t bring yourself to eat. You pushed the plate aside and rested your head against the cool wooden table wondering why it had to come to this. You knew that in the long run this would probably be better for you. You knew that if they couldn’t help themselves with you that they needed to be alone before you could accept them back into your life.
So, in the first time in a long time, you felt alone again. You quickly called up your boss noting that the time was 1230 and that your shift started at 3 to tell him that you wouldn’t be able to make it in today. You couldn’t bear facing other people in your current state everything still feeling raw and painful. You dragged yourself to the bed and stared at the empty space next to you. You longed for better days, for past days where everything seemed to be going good. To waking up to their smile or a nice hot breakfast in bed. You longed for their arms around you to hold you tight and tell you everything would be alright. Yet it wouldn’t come, you knew that, but you hoped that one day it would, that this break would help them. Even though you were the one hurting most from this situation you still looked after their wellbeing more than your own and so you cried.
From that day forward you drew in on yourself. You weren’t as happy, weren’t as bright, a shell some would say of your former self. Your coworkers would invite you out to the bar or even for lunch and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to go out with them. What if they were there, you found yourself asking. You were so frightened of running into them and not being strong enough to reject them again. What felt like years passed by slowly, little things reminding you of them at every store. Eventually you met someone new.
His name was Justin. He was sweet, kind, charming. He reminded you of Z. It lasted 3 days before it became too much for you. You broke up with Justin and felt your world crumble as when you told Justin the news, instead of seeing Justin you saw Z. You couldn’t eat for the next 2 days, your stomach refusing to hold anything down. Your friends grew worried seeing you returning to that same state you had been in months previous. You thought you would never be able to turn around from this, any one who showed interest in you just painfully reminded you of what could have been. Your fingers often found the empty space on your ring finger in times of stress, trying to twirl a band that had long since been abandoned.
You saw children playing in the park and was reminded on how the both of you planned on seeking out a sperm donor to have children of your own. You saw their favorite movies while looking for something to watch and was reminded of countless nights falling asleep, head in their lap as a movie droned on in the background. Z never tried contacting you after blocking their number and for that you were grateful. This break from them broke you in ways you felt could never be fixed. Years down the line you found yourself becoming happy again, just like before everything went to hell. There were days you panicked thinking you had seen them in passing in a store, at the park, at the mall, yet if it ever was them, they never noticed you. You moved on with your life, granted there were still chips in your life, some days you couldn’t get out of bed, others you cried yourself to sleep. However, you knew you came out stronger and that this was for the best.
#real person shipping#real person fiction#mels3k#tw#trigger warning#tw divorce#divorce#tw real person shipping#tw real person fiction
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