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#Twilight's Last Gleaming
pendragaryen · 1 year
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The 100 rewatch 2023 S1 E5
Episode “Twilight’s last gleaming”
Post-coital Clarke and Finn having a chat surrounded by ridiculously cheesy candlelight. They obviously have found a valve to let go of their stress, despair and anger. They’ve calmed down. Clarke, also very obviously, fell hard for Finn “I wanted it to be you.” Ouff.. Like i said, this will hurt.
The ark: Imprisoned Abby is visited by chancellor Jaha. The oxygen supply will run off way earlier than they (and Jake Griffin) have expected. The culling of 320 people is already decided by the council - without Abby. She’s shook and angry. It’s THE MURDER of 320 innocent people! She still holds desperately onto her hope to hear from Raven, so that it could be prevented. Abby is pardoned for now. She has to treat people who are suffering from the reduced oxygen supply.
And there’s our queen Raven on her way down to earth in that escape pod. That thing is bearly surviving the entering into the atmosphere. I am holding my breath...
Finn and Clarke still not done with their cheesy chit chat. They’re out of the bunker now, sitting together under the nights sky, when Clarke suddenly notices Raven’s escape pod falling towards the ground, which Finn falsly thought of as a shooting star.
Lol, Bellamy and his glorious threesome. Good for him. Octavias shouts are wakening up the whole camp and he’s out of his tent half naked within seconds. O’s also noticed the thing that’s falling down to earth from the sky. Since it’s NOT a shooting star (oh Finn...), they immediately assume it must be sent down from the ark. Everyone is excited! But Bellamy tells everyone to stay back in camp until the morning “bc it’s not save” out there in the night. O insists, but he refuses. He’s tense - and we all know why. When the arkers come down, nothing would save him from being punished for shooting the chancellor... He has to go to where the pod came down alone and he will have to be there FIRST, if he wants to prevent that... Selfserving ass? Yes? Yes... Aw man...
The ark: Tor Lemkin and his little daughter Reese are visiting doctor Griffin. The child can’t see anything with her right eye. She’s going to be blind in a forseeable future as a result of the constantly reduced oxygen supply... Abby’s upset and desperate to be unable to cure it. Is there still hope? Is Raven still alive?
We see Raven on the ground now. The pod is damaged and she’s unconscious and bleeding. Oh god... Raven, please be alive! So many people are counting on you!
Finn and Clarke are back in the dropship camp and find Bellamy gone off alone into the woods to search for the pod. They’re immediately preparing themselves to follow him. Clarke’s got a certain suspicion. Bellamy was always so eager to make sure that the arkers think that no-one of the 100 is still alive - so that they have to assume that the earth is still uninhabitable and don’t come down. Clarke blames herself to let herself being so easily distracted - by Finn, that’s clear. She doesn’t say it. But even FInn himself knows what she meant. You can see it in his face for a brief second. He still follows her as she’s off into the woods after Bell.
O has followed Bellamy too. She finds and confronts him, calls him a liar. She’s clearly upset that he wanted to go alone to the pod just to get himself whatever is in it. But he had his reasons to lie to her. “I did this for you, to protect you.” He now admits that he shot the chancellor back on the ark just to get imprisoned and to be able to follow O down to earth. We see Octavia’s face fall. She can’t believe it! Bell’s telling her about a deal he took to get a place on the dropship. “Do this, kill him, and they get me on the dropship - and i did it.” Aw man...You can clearly see how the truth pains him, how it tortures him what he did. But he stands by it. He HAD to do it to protect what’s most precious to him. O’s dumbfounded and completely shocked. “You shot the chancellor?!” - “He floated our mother! He locked you up! He deserved it” -  well, i understand where you’re coming from, honey, but THAT is some avengeful shit coming out of your beautiful mouth there, jesus... O’s apalled “I didn’t ask you to do that!” - “You’re right.” Bellamy steps back a little, his face growing cold and determined now. “I made the choice. This is on me.” And that’s why he has to handle whatever came down with the pod all by himself and alone.
The ark: Kane and Jaha talking. And Jaha’s bringing me at the verge of real tears here. He’s willing to share the fate of those who had be chosen to be killed in the culling for the sake of the others. And he’s also willing to give up his job as the chancellor and to pass it onto Kane. Who would have thought? Kane wants to hold him back, but to no avail. Jaha sees “strength” in Kane - something, that is referred to again later in the show and we as audience still have to find out.
On earth Bell’s found the wrecked escape pod - with the still unconscious and clearly injured Raven in it.  And instead of helping her or at least checking on her vital signs, he has the audacity to steal the radio from the pod. He’s throwing it into a nearby river. WHAT?! NO, BELL, NO GODDAMNIT!! This is basically the death sentence for the people on the ark! WTF! He can’t possibly know this. But still. NO! Saving his own skin is clearly the only thing that he’s caring about atm. But honestly, what exactly would WE do in his place? I have no idea. Running away maybe...
Raven’s alive! Thank goodness. Clarke’s right in time to greet her and to witness Ravens first steps on the ground. Raven’s in awe about the nature, the air and the soft rain that’s falling. You can almost feel with her. It’s a beautiful, peaceful little moment. Clarke smiles. But then... Raven’s seeing Finn. And everything changes. Raven rushes into his arms. Finn is clearly very surprised to see her. But Raven’s just relieved and so happy to see him - and then she kisses him. And he kisses her back. We see Clarke’s smile fading away, her whole expression falls. See? I told you that it would hurt... I wanna hug her.. Obviously Finn and Raven are a thing - or at least, they had been on the ark.  - Clarke’s face is completely expressionless now. Finn comes over, he tries to apologize, but she’s tense and turns him down. She seems almost relieved to have something more important to do now: Treating Raven’s wounds.
Raven’s telling them that Clarke’s mum had the initial idea to come down to the ground, so that the ark could be informed that the 100 are still alive and earth is inhabitable. She’s also telling them about the planned culling, since the oxygen supply runs off quickly now. They have to send word to the ark RIGHT NOW! But when they’re searching for the radio in the pod, they found it gone. Stolen. And Clarke has a very certain idea who did it. She’s very angry - and off to search for Bellamy immediately.
On the ark Abby confronts Jaha.  All of the decisions were made too fast. She proposes some alternatives they still could try - but Jaha turns her down, telling her that the culling is “the only solution”. When she goes she appeals to his conscience: “What would you tell Wells?” - Jaha’s pensive now. But he doesn’t step back from his decision.
Abby’s off to get that old video from Jake which he made to inform the people of the ark about the failing survival systems - that same video Jake had given his life for. She’s determined to send it, to make it public now by herself. You go, Abby!
On the ground, O’s running through the woods. Is she being hunted? She falls down a hill and loses consciousness. (??? That’s so... off the storyline right now. But well...)
Meanwhile Clarke finds Bellamy and immediately asks him about the radio. “Hey, princess, taking a walk in the woods?” he teases mockingly. Now he’s back at being a selfassured ass, i see. Sigh. Clarke’s informing him, that if they don’t radio to the ark that they’re still alive and earth still inhabitable, basically 300 people would be killed up there to save oxygen. You can clearly see that this is catching him on the wrong foot. Clarke basically stakes him with her index finger, pushes him. “And it’ll be YOUR people! Working people!” People from his own station? He’s clearly shocked, but he tries to hide it. Then Raven arrives, she’s recognizing his name. They were looking for him on the ark bc he shot down the chancellor... Finn and Clarke both look at him in shock. Clarke’s connecting the dots quickly: “THAT’S why you took the wristbands!” Finn brings it on point “All that “Whatever the hell we want!” and you’re just caring about saving your own skin!”
Bellamy is cornered now. He even attacks Raven - who provoked him, but... ouch... CALM DOWN YOU TWO! Clarke’s going in between and stops them. Bellamy scoffs and turns his back on them. “Jaha deserved  to die. You all know that.” But suddenly Raven’s saying, that Jaha isn’t dead. Bell turns around, dumbfounded. He’s clearly surprised. “What?!” “You’re a lousy shot” Raven mocks him. But he doesn‘t really listen. You can see the relief in Bellamy’s eyes now though he still can’t believe it properly, and Clarke immediately catches on it. “Don‘t you know what this means? You’re NOT a murderer! You always did what you had to do to protect your sister. THAT’S who you are!” She’s seeing right through him. In fact, she always did. SInce the very first day on the ground, when she came for him bc of his gun. It’s as if she could sense the sensitive and caring heart he’s wearing underneath all his asshole attitude and hardness. And Bellamy is so baffled, that he can’t even reply. Why does she even care about him that much? Why? He can’t help staring into her wide, blue, pleading eyes. She’s intense, urgent, stares right back, tries to bring up this “good and protective side” within him: “And you can do it again! By protecting 300 of your people! Where’s the radio?” We can see that she reaches him. But now he averts his eyes. “It’s too late...”
On the ark Abby managed to publish Jake’s video. Everyone listens. Kane and his men are coming to arrest her. Again. But her message is sent now. And every citizen of the ark knows.
On earth the delinquents search the river for the radio. They’re finding it, but it’s damaged. “Like i said. It’s too late.” Bellamy. WIth his arms crossed. Clarke jumps into his face “Do you have ANY idea what you did? DO YOU EVEN CARE?” - “You asked me to help. I helped.” He answers stoically. He’s shut himself up to her and the others again. “300 people are gonna die today because of you!” Clarke screams. But suddenly smartass Raven has another idea to “contact” the ark...
On the ark they’re accusing Abby to have made everything even worse by publishing the video. But look! The people of the ark have come to volunteer, willing to give their lifes freely to save the other inhabitants - especially their children. Tor Lemkin is the first to volunteer. He’s doing it for his little daughter. It’s heartbreaking. And there are more and more people coming in to volunteer. Oh god... this is really heartwrenching. Jaha is clearly surprised. “Jake was right. It brings out the best in us.” Imma cry...
On earth Raven’s working on the wrecked escape pod. She’s removing parts from the device. She tries to chat with Clarke - who clearly holds her distance and answers evasively. Raven is suspicious why, but she’s not digging any deeper.
On the ark the final list for the culling stands. Jaha still wants to resign as chancellor. He executed Jake Griffin, his own best friend, whose message now helped them all to find a solution together. He clearly can’t bear that thought.
Meanwhile litte Reese and her dad are saying goodbye. The child has no idea that she won’t see her dad ever again. Kill me. That’d hurt less. Honestly. Wtf, i want to quit. Tor’s expression when he watches his daughter go tears my heart apart. I shit you not.
It’s night again on the ground. The kids are creating some kind of launch pads for firework rockets that they’re supposed to send up into the nights sky. So THAT’S what Raven meant by “We just have to let them know, that we’re here.” Great idea!
But on the ark the culling is about to start. Kane’s showing his heart for the first time “We can’t affort any more people.” If Raven should send a signal, he would call it off immediately. Abby looks at him, a little surprised maybe. She’s thankful. And there are the volunteers entering section 16...
Parallel to that we see the kinds getting the firework ready. But it’s too late... When we see the rockets start into the sky, their lights illuminate the kids faces on earth. But the people in section 16 on the ark are dying already. And we as audience are forced to watch this, helplessly. Look... Tor Lemkin has the hair pin of his daughter in his hand until the very last breath leaves his body... He’s gone now. Like all the others. And i remember myself crying like a child when i watched this for the first time. This is so incredibly sad and SO UNNECESSARY! My heart aches. Seeing that pile of boots at the door of the locked room doesn’t make me feel any better tbh. Geez, am i crying again? Yes. Yes i do. Shit...
When Abby and the others enter the room to check on the people (so many dead people...), she finds that particular hair pin on the ground. And now... i’m BAWLING. Thanks... Little Reese has lost her father. And it was all for nothing. I cannot...
On earth the 100 witness the fireworks exploding in the sky. “Can you wish on this kind of a shooting star?” Clarke muses. Bell sounds lost. He looks at her. “I wouldn’t even know what to wish for.” But he’s curious. “What about you?” Clarke sees Raven in Finns arms. It clearly hurts her. But Raven smiles at her, so full of hope - so oblivious. It hurts her even more. But she smiles back. Strong girl.
Now we see Octavia at the foot of the hill where she fell unconscious before. (Did she lie there ALL THAT TIME? omg.. And why isn’t Bellamy worried already? She’s missing isn’t she? lol... this doesn’t make much sense but ok...) And when she awakes now, she sees a dark, tall stranger towering over her. (Lincoln! Yeay!) She stares.
On the ark, Abby and Jaha talking about forgiveness, one of the main themes of the whole show, in Clarke’s former prison cell. You can see her drawings on the walls EVERYWHERE. “We make the best choices that we can. And hope that there’s a forgiving god.” Jaha says. (That’s not the last time that we will hear those words!) Both, Abby and Jaha are looking out of the window down to earth far below them. “If we deserve to be forgiven.” Abby’s answer is another quote that’s recurring throughout the whole series. And now they’re seeing it down on the earth: The signal lights, the fireworks from the kids! They almost can’t believe it! The 100 are alive!!! It may be too late for Tor Lemkin and the others... but suddenly... there’s hope again for the rest of them.
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Another breathtaking, exciting, unnerving and intriguing episode which kept me on the edge on my seat. Especially in the end and especially while watching it for the first time. I will never forget. I was... shook to the core. Almost every episode has something like that now, a situation that completely WRECKS me.
And yes, of course, It’s Bellamy’s fault. If he hadn’t stolen the radio the 100 would’ve send a signal up to the ark way earlier - and the culling most likely wouldn’t have happen at all. That is hard. And i’m SURE it must be a very heavy burden to bear for Bellamy, who’s well aware of what he had (most likely) done. Therefore his almost hopeless answer for Clarke in the end. “I wouldn’t even know what to wish for.” It’s over for him. And he knows it. At some point, the arkers WILL come down to earth now that they’ve seen their signal lights. And then he will have to stand up for what he had done. At least, he isn‘t a murderer like he thought he was. But an attempted murder wouldn’t go unpunished either. He - they all - can’t know if the culling happened or not. They could only hope that their signal reaches them right in time to stop it. But if not.. I feel with Bellamy. Yes he made mistakes. Yes he made them on purpose. But that doesn’t mean he hadn’t learned from them and can be a better man now. He’s punished enough by all the guilt he has to bear now. This is what he did to himself. He only wanted to protect his sister, do be with her at all costs. And he had a very weak moment when he let his fear win over his mind and stole that damn radio. He didn’t want to face the consequences for himself. He didn’t (he COULDN’T) know that other lives would’ve been on stake... I’m SURE if he had known this before, he wouldn’t even have done this in the first place. He would’ve run away at some point maybe, before the arkers would come down. But he wouldn’t have stolen that radio. I am SURE.
What i liked: Ravens frist steps on earth. Jake Griffins video motivating the arkers.
What i disliked: The culling of course. Tor Lemkin saying goodbye to his daughter. Bellamy Blake stealing that damn radio. WTF!
Fave quote(s): “We make the best choices that we can. And hope that there’s a forgiving god.” - “You always did what you have to do to protect your sister. That’s who you are!”
Song(s)  i associate with the episode:  “World gone mad” by Bastille - “So this is where we are, it′s not where we had wanted to be. If half the world's gone mad, the other half just don′t care, you see. - When it feels like the world's gone mad and there′s nothing you can do about it, no, there′s nothing you can do about it..."
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sometimesrosy · 1 year
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The 100 2023 rewatch 1.5
Twilight's Last Gleaming Liveblog
Oh my. I need to get ready. This is the episode that made me fall in love with this show. This show is tragedy after tragedy.
A delinquent can't catch a break.
Ok here we go.
Bleh. Post coital Flarke.
She's sweet and tender. He'a selfish ass. Oh no don't tell him you have feelings for him. "I wanted it to be you."
I should probably tell you that last night for me, wasn't really about you. Just wanted to have my first earth sex and you were around, passably cute. snickersnicker. Aren't you a fucking comedian.
Oh Jaha is telling abby that the oxygen is getting worse. Pulmonary toxicity. Prison section is on half air, and Jaha is giving her extra O2. And he's telling her that they're going to 'excise' 320 people.
And here's my baby Raven hitting atmosphere. "don't let me blow up." ooh. It looks like it's close.
More cute Flarke. And Clarke got a new shirt in the bunker. "We should share." And he's like oh we need it to keep a safe place. But he's looking at her like he's in loooove. "I wanted it to be you too," he whispers. While his girlfriend is burning up in the sky. Look Clarke see's her. Finn tells her to wish on a shooting star. And she's like what are you nuts? Nope not a shooting star.
Bellamy is in bed with two girls. I forgot about that. One of them REALLY looks like Clarke. B is stressed. He's like oh no I'm gonna get in trouble for murdering Jaha.
She is like oh maybe it's food packets. Finn is trying to delay her. That guy. Bellamy is also trying to delay people. That guy. Y'all are both shady. O is trying to push him because she doesn't know.
Uh oh. Little red headed Reese and her papa Tor Lemkin. She's gone blind in one eye. Ugh. He asks if they're going to fix it. Abby says I hope so. Abby is desperate for that radio contact from Raven. It's the only wya they can save these people. They let her out of jail to work medical because there are too many sick people.
Raven is knocked out in the pod. Clarke and Finn are back with the delinquents. Oh look Fox tattling on Bellamy. Oh look, Bellamy's snotty girlfriend. Hook up. Clarke 'should have known he'd go for that radio." Now she thinks she has to predict everything everyoone is going to do. O followed Bellamy. Calls him a selfish dick. and he tells her that he shot Jaha, and when they come down, he's dead. "someone came to me with a deal. Do this. Kill him. And they'd get me on the dropship."
The O and Bellamy conflict begins. "I didn't ask for any of this."
Kane is trying to make the culling look like an accident. Section 17. BTW that was Bellamy's section. Planning murder. Jaha approves. But Jaha has decided to be in section seventeen. He says Kane has a strength that is not weakened by sentiment. That is really mean.
Bellamy finds Raven, takes out a knife and.....
Rips the radio out. Closes door. Leaves Raven passed out. Throws radio in the river. Even as a bad guy he's not very bad. And he's getting less bad as each episode passes.
Raven. Clarke sees her. "Oh my god." "Hi. I made it?" You see that look they give each other? Yes. Princess mechanic all the way. Dump the floppy haired wonder. Y'all work well together.
Poor Clarkie when she watched Raven run up to Finn and kiss him. That is just not fair. What a jerk. Honestly. Poor Clarke she looks like her heart is broken. Man. And honestly Raven, please stop looking at him like that. HE doesn't deserve it. Although she probably ha a concussion.
Finn apologizes. Clarke doesn't wan to talk about it. He introduces them, and Raven tells her that Abby was the one to send her down. She tells her about the culling. The radio is gone. Clarke knows Bellamy took the radio.
Jaha and his chess set. Abby is scolding him for joining s 17 and saying he's copping out. Calls him a coward. She finds Jake's recording from when he wanted to expose the failing air.
O by herself in the woods, because B sent her back to camp, oh is this Lincoln coming up?
She trips down a hill.
Clarke confronts Bellamy. Hey princess you taking a walk in the woods? lol. She tells him about the culling. Finn pushes him. Raven is like oh yeah you're the one who shot Jaha. Clarke figures out that's why he took off the wristbands. Where's my radio? Raven says.
I shoulda killed you when I had the chance. Ok yeah sure big shot.
He takes her by the throat and pushes her against the tree. She whips out a knife.
She tells him he's not dead. "You're a lousy shot." Which is 100% not true. He's a great shot. So he did it on purpose. Lousy bad guy. And he looks devastated. Says it's too late. Because he dumped the radio.
Jake Griffin's announcement is playing EVERYWHERE on the ark. The air is out. Abby reports about the culling. Too late guards. Kane tough guy. She's going to be the love of your life.
Finn trying to explain he didn't think he'd see Raven again. She's like. "But you wouldn't take off your wristband. You had hope. but it's ok I get it. I was around, passably cute."
Bellamy is all gloomy now. Acting tough guy when he's all sad and heartbroken. Raven of course can figure out how to contact them wihtout the radio because she's a genius.
Kane things there are going to be riots. He blames Abby. "Tha'ts what you've done." This is like the opposite of the Bellamy/Clarke situation with murphy.
They send in Tor Lemkin to talk to Abby about the oxygen. And he hands in his dog tag to volunteer. Jaha is like "For what?"
I'm already crying.
Whimpering. Damn him. Next guy. Give my wife a little extra air. A lady without a word.
"jake was right," jaha said. "it would bring out the best in us." When I think that those bastards made their sacrifice worth absolutely fucking nothing in season 7. Shh. I'm not talking about the bad place. Just season 1.
Raven is engineering. Clarke is upset and worrying. Will the ark see their rockets?. "But your mom will be watching. I've never seen anyone love someone like she loves you."
Kane is eating crow about the volunteers. Jaha still plans on volunteering. He's feeling guilt for executing Jake. Kane says "one decision does not define a man." Ironic because this culling decision right here is the one that defines Kane and changes everything for him.
Tor Lemkin is "volunteering for an extra shift" and saying goodbye to Reese who has no clue. Abby still hoping to hear from Raven.
Kane and Abby watching the volunteers while the kids are trying to set up the rockets on earth.
Everyone sits on the floor and the music is playing. It cuts back and forth between the culling volunteers willingly going to their death to save the rest of the ark, the ark leaders watching, giving the order. Oh Jaha takes the button away from Sinclair and presses it himself so Sinclair won't have to have that on his consience.
And AFTER he presses his button, the rockets on earth take off. Abby closes her eyes in sorrow. The people in th17 start falling asleep. Tor Lemkin is looking at Reeses barette. Overvoice is Jaha offering a blessing for the dead.
He drops the fucking barette.
Abby and the doctors go into 17. They're all sleeping on the floor together. Not sleeping. Dead. Ugh. All the bodies. She walks through them with the grim music and closes the eyes of one woman and they begin carrying people out on stretchers. She picks up Tor's daughters barette and tears come to her eyes.
AND THERE ARE THE ROCKETS. Bellamy wondering if they can see the rockets from up there? Clarke asking about if you could wish on a shooting star. He says he wouldn't know what to wish for. Asks her what about you and she looks over at the unworthy Finn.
Octavia wakes up in the dark, sees a SCARY MAN. But we know it's just Lincoln. He was scary looking though. Monster looking.
Abby is sitting in Clarke's cell and staring up at the sky light. Jaha comes, offers her some booze. "We mke the best choices we can, and then we put our faith in a forgiving god," Jaha says. Do you think we deserve to be forgiven? Abby asks. And then SHE SEES THE ROCKETS.
JAHA instantly realizes that he killed people for no reason while Abby is seeing hope.
Okay, so watching Murphy's Law and Twilight's Last Gleaming one after the other, I actually have to say that I think Murphy's Law was better. Story wise. TLG is a tear jerker, don't get me wrong, but so much of it is set up, and building up to everything that comes next in the season with coming down to earth while Murphy's law is a turning point in the story from post apocalyptic Lord of the Flies as these characters abruptly grow up REAL fast and it is pretty much self contained. The main conflicts of that ep are resolved IN that ep, although it does build the new Bellarke team. TLG is slower and more about the politics and character development in a slow way, Flarke romance, Bellamy's fear of them coming down, the B and O conflict, Jaha's grief, Raven and Finn reunion. And probably most dominant, the Abby and Kane power play.
THIS is actually a replication of the same dynamic between Bellamy and Clarke in Murphy's Law, although more drawn out and political. I mean Bellarke are also in a political fight, but it's 100 kids vs the whole ARk, and it just started where Kabby have been squabbling for what seems like years. And Kane IS the soldier that Bellamy is kind of just pretending to be. ALthough he's ALL ABOUT the rules, while Bellamy has discarded them after his mom was floated and his sister was imprisoned. But Abby and Kane don't find their partnership yet in this episode, even though Bellarke and Kabby are parallel here.
It has now set up the Raven Finn Clarke love triangle. Raven's awesomeness. Finn's suckiness. The Bellarke power pairing. The missing Octavia and soon to be beloved Lincoln. Abby learns that she was right the whole time. They learn that the Ark CAN go to earth. The devastation of the Culling. The story is changing. Right here. The delinquents make contact with the Ark. We also find out why Bellamy has been such a jerk, and he finds out that he didn't kill Jaha. From now on, Bellamy also has a shift in character.
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cubepusher3000 · 13 days
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Making orange chicken at midnight.. this is what god had in mind when he wrote the bill of rights
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ask-cloverfield · 11 months
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A lot of the covers for the Transformers movie comics give Optimus a design based more off concept art where his smokestacks were arm cannons and he had a more prominent helmet
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sallyrooneygf · 8 months
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never not thinking about him
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Nick Fury: Please sing the national anthem of the United States
Steve: *singing* Oh, say can you see, by the dawns early light-
Natasha: *singing* What’s so proudly, we hailed-
Bruce: *singing* At the twilights last gleaming-
Y/N: *singing* AND IIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYSSS LOVE YOUUUUUUU-
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nevver · 1 year
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Twilight's last gleaming, Kyutae Lee
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archived-daydreams · 1 year
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— First love, late spring.
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Summary: what does it feel like, to fall in love with them?
Characters: Jing Yuan, Dan Heng, Gepard, Kafka, Bronya, Serval, Asta x gender neutral reader.
Word count: 1.2 k.
Tags: fluff.
Author’s note: my debut writing for Honkai Star Rail ! I know Jing Yuan hasn’t been released yet, so his part is just personal interpretation; all in all, these are just some sort of little headcanons I wanted to try imagining and writing down, I hope you enjoy <3
Reblog to support your favorite authors ! It helps more than likes.
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JING YUAN
Falling in love with the Cloud Knight general feels like returning to a home you still hadn’t realized how much you’d longed for.
His calm presence draws you in, a melodious and crackling hearth beckoning you forward in shades of gold and skies at sundown. To stand beside him could be compared to entering a secret forest, where the moon rises as she kisses the dipping sun on the cheek as they meet at dusk. Birds chirp happily, as if revealing the songs your heart likes to play when you are with Jing Yuan, the heat in your cheeks, a manifestation of the firework embers lighting up the starry twilight. The general puts his arm around your shoulders, bringing your form closer to his, fluffy argent hair tickling the side of your neck.
You lean into him, the sunset looks a little brighter when your lover’s lips graze your temple.
And when his big calloused hand intertwines its fingers with yours, you know with him, anywhere is paradise.
DAN HENG
Scarlet maple forests feel more magical underneath the stars.
In the same way, pieces of every story and memory that constitute the wielder of Cloud-Piercer take form before your eyes as you make your way starwards.
Not one for many words or idle conversation, Dan Heng shows you the emotions he conceals to the public in small actions, starlit fragments only the one who dares to rummage between the layers of crimson leaves will uncover. Shielding you from unexpected enemies, helping you up and down the platform of the express, throwing a blanket over your shoulders when you inevitably pass out on the couch after running around with March… And when, still halfway into your realm of dreams, you call his name, a keen eye may spot on the express gurad’s cheeks some of the carmine usually adrift in the breeze in the autumn months.
Then again, if could be just your sleepy imagination…
Perhaps. is the lingering “what if” echoing on your mind.
GEPARD
The steady rock amidst a tumultuous ocean, relentless waves colliding against its silvery surface, time and time again.
Yet the rock does not yield.
Much in the same way the captain of the Silvermane Guards is your white-hot anchor in the blizzard.
No matter how hurt you are, Gepard stays.
No matter how drained and wasted your last breakup left you, his strong arms embrace you, the biting gales futile against his hold.
And maybe, taking notice of your own (and his) feelings might take you a while.
But Gepard Landau’s heart only knows loyalty.
So he waits.
For you to realize, for the sun to finally shine, and mark the path from you to him.
Because argent tends to reflect the skies, and only when the morning star deigns to shine, can the cobblestones tying you together gleam.
You take a step, and you know Gepard Landau is your only destination.
KAFKA
Exhilarating and with “danger” spelled in boldened capitals, that is how romance with the Stellaron’s Hunter feels.
The rational part of you warned you this was a bad idea, yet, as they say, sometimes, the heart wants what it wants.
Freedom prevailed that night, and your lips met the Interastral Peace Corporation’s most wanted’s.
It could have been the drinks you had, against your better judgment, the sweet intoxication of the alcohol in your system and of the temptation of her, a ticking bomb combination.
But caution is thrown to the wind the moment Kafka wraps her priced coat around your shoulders, her lips sensually whispering in your ear, promises of a million idyllic tomorrows together already tangling in the messy yarn ball of your mind.
But who are you to refuse? Or how could anyone, for that matter? When her painted lips envelop yours under the infinity of the firmament?
BRONYA
Dignified, smart, and the picture perfect image of what a heir should be like.
However, what is hidden beyond that icy facade of flawless poise?
Your sweet lover, a girl who enjoys the sound of tranquil nights and hurried steps by morning, someone who lets herself daydream to the faint music coming from Golden Theater.
A beautiful and enchanting contradiction, a storm of opposites you can’t help but get lost in, from the pretty curls of her lucent hair, to her determined gunmetal gaze.
Who would have thought, you think with a tender smile, as your hands run through her steel moonlit tresses, that you’d get to win the heart of the Heir to the Supreme Guardian of Belebog?
Leaving a soft kiss to the crown of her head, you lay down beside her in bed. With a last look out the window at the slate sky, you close your eyes.
The lyrics to a ballad swirl in your mind, probably coming from Golden Theater.
In the dim light, you find your girlfriend’s hand.
That night, Bronya Rand would be the actress in your oneiric plane, her heart, yours alone.
SERVAL
Electrifying and magnetizing, akin to a violet horizon right before a storm. The thunder in the distance makes your every hair stand on end, yet you can’t help longing for something more.
Afternoons helping Serval out at Neverwinter Workshop always end with you sitting before her, wide smile aglow on your features as she picks up her electric guitar. You always loved the way her sapphire eyes sparkled when she talked about this or that new song she was composing, but actually getting to see her perform for you alone… that’s enough to get you giddy.
Her painted nails strum the cords with ease, each of them bending at the workshop owner’s will, as lightning seems to take command of your heart, its thundering pace and the melody she plays seamlessly dancing to the beat of a fervent tango.
As the sky throws its indigo shawl over the lovers, the blonde gazes at you, a pretty (and unusual) rosy tone on her cheeks, a silent inquire for your thoughts about her new piece.
After all, you’re always the first one to hear every new song she comes up with.
ASTA
The girl who used to dream of naming stars after herself finally found a star that will always orbit around the fiery sun she is.
Her crystalline eyes look up from the papers she was sorting out until moments ago, her lips curving up in a crescent not unlike the one she used to observe, when she spots you.
Two cups of coffee in hand, you sit beside her, your head leaning on her shoulder. Your hand catches hers over the table, prompting her to stop the frantic scribbling of her pen.
And the instant her opalescent gaze meets yours, she is breathless, a nebula the color of her hair spreading through her cheeks. Her pen falls out of her grasp, the words she never seems at a loss for, failing her.
As they do every time when it comes to you.
But who could blame her? When she’d trade every galaxy and celestial body in this universe and the next for a millisecond next to you?
The lead researcher of Herta Space Station closes her notepad.
For now, work can wait.
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byeol-ssi · 2 years
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Byeol~ I hope you're having a lovely time wherever you are!! You can do this when you're not busy, but I wanted to make a drabble request with the "there's only one bed" prompt with Ayato and Childe <33 I'm stuck between Diluc and Scaramouche (since your characterization for them is to die for) so you can choose whoever you like more for the last. Thank you so much and have a good time!
underneath twilight ♡ part one
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✦ ayato. childe. diluc. scaramouche. x gn!reader | part two.
✦ tags: sharing a bed (completely SFW) + various tropes.
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ayato *. ⋆ lord and employee relationship
your eyes bounce between the extravagant king-sized bed and sofa. immediately, you make a beeline for the latter and promptly sit down on it. 
as you fluff the cushions on the sofa, AYATO's shadow casts over where you are. aside from his clean, familiar scent that was enough to scramble your brain whenever it enveloped you, he was the only other person in the room. 
the room he insisted you stay in — reasoning that it was reckless for you to sleep with the other male housekeepers, and that no one would wait on him. 
wasn't it the same though, staying in the same room as him? you wanted to question, but refrained, biting your tongue instead. he'd most likely find another way to have the last word. he always did. 
you look up at him, folding your hands in your lap and offering him a polite bow. "i bid you goodnight, milord. please do not hesitate to wake me if you require anything." 
ayato hums, tilting his head in your direction playfully, before elegantly taking a seat next to you. he crosses his legs, blatantly making himself comfortable. 
you blink dumbly. what was he up to now? squirming slightly under his gaze, you cautiously approach, "my lord?" 
"go ahead. sleep," he taunts airily. his voice drops an octave lower when he follows his challenge with, "i'll move you to the bed once you do." 
your stomach knots furiously, and it only worsens when he leans in abruptly. the commissioner seemed to have no concept of personal space, as he always lingered a little too close — never at a distance that could allow you to form coherent thoughts. 
the only problem was, you didn't mind this as much as you should have. 
"is that what you were hoping for?" he asks, tone changing from teasing to innocent so startlingly it almost gave you whiplash.
but after working alongside him for several years, you knew that ayato was never innocent — no matter how much he tried to hide it behind an innocuous facade composed of eloquence, grace, and close-lipped smiles. 
"i wouldn't dare!" you refute a tad too late. and with the cheery grin on his face, he knows you had considered it. sputtering out, "i could not possibly allow you to sleep here!" 
"i never mentioned that i would." he stands up, finally giving you a chance to breathe again, and makes a show of clambering into bed. laying on his side, his eyes shone with a gleam you were all-too-familiar with. "i'll stay right here. beside you." 
the long whoosh of air that gets knocked out of you a second time leaves you speechless, and all you could do was stare at him, open-mouthed, from where you sat. 
when you don't move, ayato sighs. "would you rather i turn this into an order?" he says it good-naturedly, though you knew firsthand that he'd make do with this threat. "i will not lay a hand on you. quite frankly, i cannot be bothered with the paperwork if you do report me for harassment." 
and even though ayato was never innocent, he's never placed you in harm's way. so, you slowly make your way to the bed with your back against the wall, arms slightly raised in apprehension.
still, you wonder if you could get away with strangling him in his sleep. you're pretty sure you'd be doing everyone a favor. perhaps a generous reward awaits you from guuji yae. 
ayato only tracks your figure with a lazy, amused smile. like a fox waiting for its prey. 
eventually, you find yourself under the covers. exhausted from today's activities and not wanting to deal with the man next to you, you fall asleep rather quickly after a murmured goodnight.
propping his head in his fist, he gingerly pulls the blanket closer below your chin. his hand lingers there for a second, thinking about how easily you'd fallen into his whims. 
his hand trails down to your jawline, tracing it as you slept. his heart is barely beating when a content sigh leaves your lips, feeling as if he could stay in this moment forever. 
in this moment, where you felt within his reach. and although you always were, given your occupation, tonight felt like he was hanging by a thin thread — suspended in time.
a place where status did not matter. a place where he did not have to mind prying eyes, and meddlesome mouths. a place where, even while you were asleep, his touch could cause you such contentment. 
and that was enough for him.
for now, at least.
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childe  *. ⋆  childhood friends to lovers
"leave that for tomorrow," CHILDE complains, calling out to you from the other side of the room.
"i know, i know," you mutter to yourself, rubbing your eyes tiredly as you finally switch the lights close. "'m coming." 
it's almost pitch-black, and the cool weight of evening and fatigue fall on your shoulders. only silhouettes dance within the shadows as you maneuver in the dark to locate your bed. 
your knees hit the edge of its frame, and you pat the surface blindly. childe lets out a small grunt, "that was my stomach," he all but wheezes. 
"sorry," you snickered, not sounding a bit apologetic.
childe coming over to sleep was nothing new. the two of you were inseparable when you were younger, and you shared many other things besides a bed growing up. 
that is until he disappeared from your life for quite a while, and this little sleepover would mark the first time in a long time again.
though not much has truly changed. 
he's still insisted that you take the side that's right next to the wall, with him closest to the door. he explained that he'd be able to protect you much more quickly if ever someone intruded.
and like before, you're always the last to come to bed, so you always find yourself crawling over him to get to your spot. 
but the passage of time does not keep everything the same. it's inevitable — something that goes by unnoticed when you don't pay attention. not until the shifts are right in front of you.
because now, you've forgotten that childe's taller. much broader. and before you realize it, you clumsily fall over half of his body. he lets out a second grunt that night, and with a strength you don't recall he possessed before, he keeps you there by draping an arm over your hip. 
you strain your head up to look at him, the tip of your nose brushing his neck. this too, seemed like a new development. one you weren't overly opposed to. hesitantly, you whisper, "childe ... ?"
"stay there," he mumbles, releasing you momentarily to fix your positions and the blanket over both of you. you bury your face in his neck as he holds you in an attempt to become snug. 
"good?" he asks quietly. his fingers thread in your hair, featherlight touches as they dance atop your scalp.
you hum an affirmative reply, clinging to his shirt just a little more.
"good." there's a fond lilt in his voice, and you knew that he'd probably give you shit about this tomorrow morning, but you couldn't help it. 
despite the changes, despite all the years that passed, he still felt warm and familiar. solid and safe. 
"i didn't know you missed me this much," he teases. apparently, he couldn't wait until tomorrow. 
"i did," you admit, and childe is partly taken aback, not expecting you to humor him with blunt honesty. "more than you know." 
the arm around you tightens, pulling you even closer to his side. feigning his laid-back demeanor, he easily replies with, "oh, i know." 
you huff, managing a retort despite your weariness. "you're so annoying."
he laughs, and you feel his entire upper body shake. his hand goes to your upper arm, rubbing it up and down mindlessly. "but you love me." 
"i do," you whisper. the confession is so delicate — so raw — that his hand stills in their movements while sleep drags you deeper into its hold. "more than you know." 
vaguely, you feel him angle his head to look down on you. something damp presses against your forehead so lightly, that you almost believe that you were dreaming already. 
but childe's lips murmur against your forehead.
"i love you more." he breathes.
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diluc  *. ⋆  fake dating
DILUC pinches the bridge of his nose in aggravation. he didn't account for how kaeya and the others would actually go this far. 
it started with a straightforward proposition. a simple scheme to get elzer and kaeya off his back, but he didn't foresee this far ahead into the future, nor considered this possibility. 
a future where you're both forced to share a room since you were parading around as "lovers" in mondstadt.
"i'm really sorry," you began, and diluc hates the way you sound so remorseful. this wasn't even your fault, as it was him who'd stupidly roped you into this entire predicament. "i could ask the front desk if they have another spare room, but they might find out that we separated ways." 
and he hates that it's still him, his reputation, his well-being, that you were considering to the very end. "i don't care. i would much rather have you sleep comfortably instead of keeping up with this act. i can sleep on the floor or move rooms —" 
"it's fine!" you blurt out. diluc opens his mouth to protest again, but you hurriedly propose, "we can share! it's just two people sleeping." 
with the look on your face, diluc knew you weren't entirely convinced as well. but then you continue with forced indifference lacing your voice, "plus ... this is all just fake, right?" 
an arrow pierces through his chest. 
"yes," he lies, mouth going dry. the arrow's steel tip digs down a little deeper. 
you nod, gifting him with a smile that's meant to reassure him, but diluc only feels dishonorable. after a while of awkwardly shuffling around one another, you feel the bed dip beside you as he finally lies down. 
"should i head down and request another blanket?" diluc offers. truly, why would whoever designed this room place an enormously large bed with a single piece of cloth that was half its size? 
you swallow nervously, avoiding his eye. "we could also ... share. if you don't mind." 
he gives you the tiniest little nod, and before he can spark another argument about moving rooms once more, you scoot closer to his side until you're flush against him. 
draping the blanket over both of you, he wonders if you could hear the hammering of his heart in this dead of night. it would be impossible for you not to. 
"please sleep well." your words come out muffled from his chest, and your breathing slowly evens out.
he keeps his arm above your shoulder, afraid to wrongly touch you anywhere else.  
he's aware that you've both gone too far to go back, and that you're both too terrified to move forward. and with the way he pulls you closer, presses you more tightly against him, even he can't deny that this wasn't just for warmth anymore. 
because with every minute that goes by, diluc knows he can't ever let you go. not when you feel like home in his arms. 
so he closes his eyes and decides that when the sun rises, he needs to make this all real, somehow. 
but that was a promise for tomorrow when you both start anew. 
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scaramouche *. ⋆ enemies to lovers
"listen, can we please just get this over with?" you plead wearily. 
SCARAMOUCHE stood by the edge of the singular bed that you were currently arguing over. exhaustion permeated the air, as today's mission was longer than most — courtesy of your assigned partner, who never failed to give you a migraine — and you definitely did not want to sleep on cold, hard ground tonight. 
scaramouche closes his eyes with an irritated click of his tongue, looking as equally exhausted as you did. still, he manages to sneer and say, "and as i said, i'll be taking the bed." 
you heave a sigh, massaging your temples. "no, you'll take the floor." 
"i won't. do you forget your place? i carry a higher rank than you do." 
"fine," you spit out bitterly. "i'll go and ask childe if i can room with him. maybe he won't be an immature ass and actually knows how to fucking share." 
that's when his head snaps back to look at you again. bingo. his nostrils flare while he glowers at you — an expression you were practically immune to by now. "i can fucking share."
"see?" you scoff. archons, he was so predictable. "must you always win?" 
unbeknownst to you, scaramouche lets that comment slide, distracting himself by rearranging the extra pillows into a line down the middle of the bed, splitting it in half. 
because yes, when it comes to you, he'll always win. he wants — needs — to.
he gets in first, and you follow right after without any semblance of fear. it's something that's bothered him up to this very day and is responsible for the tight feeling in his chest whenever in your orbit that he's yet to name or acknowledge at all.
"stay on your fucking side or i will burn this entire place down," scaramouche warns threateningly.
you don't miss a beat when you answer just as rudely, "then we wouldn't have anywhere else to sleep, you idiot."
both of you lay there in stifling silence for a while, both staring up at the ceiling. neither of you questioned the tsaritsa's orders whenever you were forced to work together — but sleeping was a dangerous and vulnerable position to be caught in even if you were technically on the same side.
and it seemed like both of you was aware of that. 
"thank you," you express quietly, clearing your throat. your words hang heavily above your head, but you carry on. "i wasn't entirely keen on sharing a room with childe. or anyone else, if i'm being truly honest." 
the air shifts ever so slightly, and scaramouche stays silent for three more seconds before he can prevent himself from asking, "because?"
he feels you move to peek at him from the fortress of pillows, and he can nearly imagine the astonishment on your face. as much as he wants to witness it, he keeps his eyes stubbornly trained on the ceiling. 
"oh. well, i'm simply not as comfortable with the others unlike when i'm with you," you reveal easily, lying back down.
a feeling of pride surges in his chest.
"and i'm sorry —" you begin before he cuts you off. 
"it's ... fine," he responds curtly. the phrase felt so foreign on his tongue. dealing with forgiveness was never his specialty. normally, whoever slighted him never lived to see another day to apologize. 
"but are you always this talkative even before you sleep?" he gripes without any real malice to it. 
you let out a small, drowsy laugh, and he finds himself enamored with the sound, instead of being vexed. he doesn't fight the urge anymore and turns his head to look at you. 
he's grateful he did. 
it was the first time he'd seen you laugh, genuinely, without any pretense, and it filled him with another strange, unfamiliar, burst of emotion. 
"only with you," you mumble softly, a small smile playing on your lips. "goodnight, idiot." 
he merely scoffs at your name-calling, not wanting to presume how affectionate it almost sounded. soon, he allows himself to rest, sleeping soundly for the first time in years. 
and neither of you says anything when you both wake up entangled in each other's arms. 
the line of pillows gone, boundaries crossed, and sides long forgotten. 
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✦ byeol’s notes: thank you to the lovely nonnie who requested this! i decided to do them all, my way of saying thanks for being so sweet and i loved the idea! and to my other readers, i'll be back to posting regularly — at least, once a week — if life is kind. ♡
i've been catching up on kdramas and manhwas, so you might've noticed that ayato's part is inspired by that one scene in the business proposal and the duke's cursed charm.
✦ reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! feel free to send any requests in. thank you sm and ily <3
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A more complicated way to determine your Blood of Eden name:
a reference to any classical work (painting, play, hymn, etc.)
a lyric of your choice from your country's national anthem
a lyric from your favorite song
(I call it complicated because I personally hate making decisions)
Currently I'm at: If Music be the Food of Love Play On At the Twilight's Last Gleaming We're Leaving the Planet and You Can't Come
Nickname: Muse
But I've been bouncing between Shakespeare quotes (I'm a theatre kid) and song lyrics for an hour--
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neverchecking · 11 months
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Hi!!! I have a request, but feel free to ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable ❤
So you know the muddle buds in totk? The stuff that confuses allies and enemies in a puff of smoke? How about instead it made ppl horny 👀 with twilight if that's okay? Maybe him and reader went exploring together and accidentally got a puff of that flowers pollen or something?
Idk feel free to ignore this!! Have a nice day <3
Not at all, Darling!
I freaking love the muddle buds. They are my favorite weapon in totk, honestly.
So I went Soft Yandere! Sub! Twilight last time, now we get to go a little more Yandere Dom! Twilight >:D
Slight totk spoilers, but not much! Just about a Muddle Bud!
Smut CW: Hard, rough sex. He pins you to the wall man. AFAB! reader, he has a country accent. Calls you darling, dumbification if you squint, breeding kind. Also, Twilight bites.
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Wild had given them the go ahead. He had said that though his Hyrule looked different, most of it was still the same. There were a few new thing, here and there, but it was still Hyrule.
So, obviously you had wanted to explore.
And Twilight wasn't going to stop you. Oh no. But he wouldn't let you go alone. No, he wanted to please you, but he wasn't completely crazy just yet. How could he watch over you if you went off alone? He couldn't! You knew he was Wolfie, so that wouldn't work either since you would catch him right away.
He was just lucky you seemed more than happy to have the company. He was just happy to see you so excited. You trotted in front of him, in some sort of leaky cave, looking at it all as if it was an entirely different entity. You awed over the bomb flowers and ooh'd over the luminous stone deposits. You even cooed over the Bubul frog before being dragged along once more. Twilight merely followed, growling lowly at a Horriblin that seemed to grow a little too cocky. It immediately backed down with a small whine, disappearing into a hole in the roof.
At least it wasn't black blooded.
Twilight remained just paces behind you, staying a steady pillar of security as you let your walls down in favor of exploring. He was more than ecstatic to do so, simply watching you. His Goddess.
Oh, how he adored the spark of life in your eyes as you skipped along, looking around walls and through vine blocked entrances. (Not that they remained blocked for long. One look at your pout had him gently pulling you back with a charming smile before slashing through them easily. When you smiled up at him with pure joy and unfiltered glee, his heart sang.)
"Look, Twi!" You called for his attention that he gave easily, pointing at a small trio of flowers. They were a gorgeous swirl of pinks and purples, almost seeming to shine in the light of the cave. He struck a nearby brightbloom seed to give you a better look.
One of your hands gently graced the petals as you looked up at him. Something inquisitive and endlessly curious lit up your irises, which he just melted over. The inner canine in him howled in admiration, tail wagging as it circled in an excitable circle. He just let himself smile since he doubted you would take too kindly to him just howling.
"What do you think they do?"
"Hard ta' say." He shrugged, crouching beside your own form and eyeing the plant. You gently bounced it on a finger, furrowing your brows at the prospect of a new mystery. "Wild would probably know." You hummed.
He nodded along, before standing, offering you a hand. "Probably. C'mon. We should probably head back before they start gettin' worried. Ya' know how Sky gets."
You giggled behind a hand, taking his before dipping into an exaggerated curtsy. "Why, thank you, Sir Twilight of the Twilight Realm."
Rolling his eyes, he played along-- because he'd be a fool not to. Whatever you wanted, he would give you. There was no question about it. Even if he feigned annoyance. "Why, of course, yer' highness. It is my absolute pleasure." He smiled, one of his canines gleaming.
You laughed again before waving him off. "Oh, shove it. Let's go, cowboy."
"After you." He bowed, making you roll your eyes before you were moving once again. Both of you stopped at the sound of something cracking above you, making you look up. A tip of one of the stalactites shivering before falling. It landed in the flowers, making a puff of lilac smoke bloom in a small cloud around the area. Twilight immediately reached for you, because he'd be damned if he let that hurt you, but unfortunately not even he could fight against pollen as you coughed into his chest.
He gently held your hands, scanning you for anything that could possibly be wrong with you, (Who cared about him? Not when you could be hurt. You could be in danger.). He was going to maim Wild if something happened to you because of something he failed to warn them about. Goddess, if this was something fatal, he'd never forgive himself. No Hyrule would withstand his pure rage should something happen to you. Nothing would survive his pure anger in it's rawest, most feral form.
But, outwardly? You seemed...Fine? Your cheeks were a little red, but you seemed...okay? It was a tentative and hesitant okay, but you seemed just so. "Darling? Are ya' alright? Aches? Pains? Anything wrong at all?"
"No, no, just...hot. Like it suddenly got thirty degrees hotter." That would explain the red cheeks. You gently cupped his cheeks, pupils blowing wildly. "You okay, cowboy?"
"'m fine." Come to think of it, it did feel hotter. Way too hot. And Goddess, he knew you were good looking. But it seemed something just made you positively radiant. Absolutely glow as everything around you hazed away. Your touch was like pure magma, hot and smoldering against his cheek, but he needed more. He couldn't breath without you at this point, but it was more like you were the very oxygen he needed. The atmosphere that kept him together.
He needed you. He needed you so badly. He needed your touch and your aura, for your nails to dig deliciously in his back as he absolutely ruined you. He needed...He needed-
He would fucking explode if he didn't kiss you right now.
So he did. He leaned down, smashing your lips together in a kiss that was more teeth and tongue than anything, animalistic and primal. You groaned against him, fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer. Your groans lit a fire under him, urging him on as his own fingers tugged at your useless clothes. You honestly were doing society a disservice by wearing them. No, you were doing him a disservice because he, and only he, was the only one allowed such a delectable view. Only he could make you this way. Feel the way you clung to him like he would disappear should you let go. Relish in the feeling of you pulling at his hair to get him as close as humanly possible. To hear the way you absolute whimpered his name as he pulled away just far enough to rid you of your blasted tunic, dropping it to the side. To experience the electricity between you two as you ground against him.
He couldn't take it anymore. You were primed prey ready for him to take. He had been patient. He had been a gentleman. He had been everything you wanted. But he was little more than a wolf in sheep's clothing. Laying in wait for the perfect opportunity to strike. To bite into his precious little doe.
And now was this opportunity.
Your head angled up just perfectly as he latched to just beneath your ear, licking and sucking his own marks into the skin. A sign that you were his, his, his. All His. His rutting increased in ferocity and tempo, making you cry out for him as you pulled at his belt. It was dropped somewhere to the side with your tunic along with your own belt as your leggings were pulled to your knees.
Anymore would have to wait since he couldn't.
His pelt fell to the ground, discarded carelessly, as he pinned you against the stone wall behind you, holding your ass in his hands as he rutted and rutted and- If he didn't stop, he'd fucking lose his ever loving mind.
With another growled curse, he ripped those pesky panties away from your lips, leaving the shreds fall to the ground as you wiggled him out of his pants. "Darling, I can't- I need-"
"If you don't stop talking and fuck me, I'm asking for a favor from Warriors."
An absolutely feral snarl left him as he plunged into you, feeling you constrict against him as you cried out in either shock or pain. Didn't matter as you were eagerly demanding more.
And more was what he would give you. More. Until you couldn't stand the thought of being without him. More. Until you couldn't think of anyone but him. More. Until he had effected you in at least half of the way you effect him. More. Until you were nothing but a mindless, babbling, crying mess for him and him alone.
Just to see you, tears dripping down the crowns of your cheeks and drool shining along your chin, was a dream he had had many times over. But to have the real thing, clenching around him, marking up his back with nothing but mindless cries? That was a euphoria like no other.
It was what made everything worth it.
You just felt so...Cynefin with him. Perfect in every way. He just wanted to please you. To worship you. So just let him. He would treat you so nice! So well! Give you a nice home, let you do what you wished as long as he came back to you. Wanted to stay home a be a house wife? Perfect. Wanted to get a job? He wouldn't be ecstatic, but he's sure there's some odd jobs around Ordon, where he can watch you. Want kids?
He halted for a second. The thought becoming oh so domestic to him. The thought of you round with his own kid, his pup, a part of you and him put into one. It was something so domestically perfect and something he wanted. Oh, he wanted it bad. It kicked his hindbrain into a whole new gear as he picked up his tempo, hearing you cry out. You were dripping around him at this point, crying his name again and again before squeezing around him. It was as if you were milking him, asking for his children.
That must've been it, and if that was what you wanted, that was what you would get.
His fingers dug into your hip with a bruising grip, jutting as far as he could, biting into the junction of your shoulder and neck, pinning you there as he filled you to the brim. It was yours, all yours. He wouldn't let you waste a drop, oh no.
Besides, he was just getting started.
Dinner wouldn't be ready for a while yet and by the looks of it, you weren't quite satisfied yet either.
And that just wouldn't stand.
Small AN: Man, three in a day, you lucky geese you! I hope you guys enjoy these all, sincerely, I really enjoy writing for you guys and I love seeing your reactions in the tags. So thank you for being so welcoming. I appreciate it more than you could imagine.
With all my love,
Cinder XOXO
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percyjavksongf · 6 months
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-𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬
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𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤! 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐲 𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐’𝟗𝟎𝟎
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
'𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭...𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐳𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐢𝐫...𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’
-𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐨𝐧
“Anne had come home dancing in the purple twilight across the snowy places. Afar-”
you noticed a small, curious hand shoot up in the corner of your eye and you had to hold back a laugh, shifting your gaze to the young girl sitting attentively in front of you, she was the last one to go home every evening but even as the hour grew late she was as alert as ever.
“yes, Aneria?”
“what does twilight mean?” she spoke in a whisper, already having been shushed twice this evening by the librarian.
“its when the sun has nearly set but there’s still some light coming through, like when the sky turns shades of purple and pink. Do you understand what I mean?”
Aneria nods in a serious way, she was by far your favourite out of all the children you read to in the library, although you know you shouldn’t have favourites she was the most intrigued by the stories you were instructed to read to the kids, who usually were in your care until their parents finished work. Todays read was Anne of Green Gables much to your delight, the story was a favourite of yours since you were Aneria’s age.
“now where were we, uh, yes. Afar in the southwest was the great shimmering, pearl-like sparkle of an evening star-”
“Gilbert Blythe is so dreamy, don’t you think?” you nod your head approvingly at Aneria’s statement, having grown accustomed to her frequent interruptions, she never meant any harm with them. “my mom said to me that she’s seen you walking around with a boy, is that true? She said he’s Sally’s son and I hope so, he’s definitely just as dreamy as Gilbert”
you struggle to compress a laugh at Aneria’s boldness, not surprised at the least that gossip has spread about you and Percy’s evening strolls around the borough, you just didn’t expect to hear about it in this situation.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about missy” you reply with a teasing grin, causing Aneria to whine in annoyance, “come on, I never got to know the truth in gossip”
“that’s usually because there’s not much truth in it, now will we continue reading?”
Aneria sat once again to attention, glad she had forgotten quickly about the topic of yourself and Percy.
“in the sky that was a pale golden and ethereal rose of gleaming white spaces and dark glens of spruce. The tinkle of sleigh bells among the snowy hills-”
a sharp voice echoed through the library making you cringe, “Aneria! Time to go home”
Aneria huffed and rose to her feet quickly, “coming mom!” she swung her bag over her shoulder before turning to you “can we finish the story on Monday?” you smiled and nodded warmly, waving goodbye as you turned to grab your own bags.
“so what happens next?” you gasp sharply and spin on your heels, sending Percy a sour look when he laughs at your shocked expression, “what are you doing in here?” you questioned with fake displeasure, which Percy knew well at this point. “I’m here to find out what happens next, duh” with that he plops himself down by your feet and stares up at you expectingly, you sigh but can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face when you flick back through the pages to finish the sentence.
“The tinkle of sleigh bells among the snowy hills came like elfin chimes through the frosty air, but their music was not sweeter then the song in Anne’s heart and on her lips” you look up from your book and catch Percy’s gaze, you watch each other for a couple of seconds until he blinks and quickly turns away, clearing his throat before shuffling to his feet, “well your book’s right about one thing, its frosty as fuck out there.” you’re quick to shush Percy with a giggle as you hear the librarian huff in annoyance. The two of you are quick to leave the library and step out into the icy street, a shiver runs up your spin and before you can say a word Percy is offering his jacket to you, “come on just take it, seriously I don’t need it” you take the heavy material into your arms gratefully, it slips on easily and you practically melt into it, the smell of Percy cologne lingers on the fabric and you can’t say you hate it.
The streets of Manhattan were dressed accordingly with the season, you adored how the city, as crazy as it was, always felt like something out of a movie this time of year, and if you hadn’t been in a trance watching the lights glimmer around you, then you would’ve felt the weight of Percy’s stare on the side of your face. You had grown accustomed to your shared walk home, Percy was working part time at the skate shop down the road from the library which delighted you both, with the busyness of school it was hard to find time to hang out. At first it was more of a ‘hey if I see you I’ll walk over and talk’ but now it was guaranteed that you’d find Percy waiting outside the Library leaning against the wall like a cliche from an 80’s movie, but instead of starting with a smooth pick up line he’d ask if you had known that sea horses are monogamous (you did not). Apart from the ocean facts yous two would talk about everything, home life, what you were learning about in college, Percy would never fail to mention his long distance friends Annabeth and Grover, he spoke about them so much it felt like they were your friends too.
“so what’s Gilbert like?” the question had you raising a brow at Percy, who faked innocence with a brow raise in return. A breath of warm air travels past your lips and you shift your gaze ahead at the flashing ‘tis the season!’ sign hanging off the Bodega Percy and you visit frequently.
“you heard Aneria talking, didn’t you?” you could practically feel the shit eating grin make its way onto Percy chill flushed face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but, if I did overhear how absolutely dreamy this guy is and you totally agree and think him and I are just alike-”
“I never said you two were the same Jackson, don’t put words into my mouth”
“I know you definitely think it though, even if you won’t admit it”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you at that, you could go back and forth with Percy for hours and never grow bored. You have a feeling you cant get yourself out of this conversation though.
“any fish facts for me today?” you blink up at him, hoping it’s a good enough subject change
“you can’t deter me by fluttering your lashes, but we will go back to the fish facts after you tell me about my amazing twin” Percy bumps your shoulder and you nearly go flying on the icy footpath, his annoyingly gorgeous laugh encouraging you to shove him away from you and across the ice, unfortunately for you, Percy seems to hold himself just fine on it, dam him.
“well for one, Gilbert would never do that to Anne”
“oh, so you see us as Anne and Gilbert? How romantic”
“shut up”
a gloved hand reaches out to you and you stare at it suspiciously, though you do notice how he was wearing the gloves you brought him last winter, he complained for weeks about how cold his hands were and that you just had to hold them to keep him warm. The gloves were well received but you found he reached for you still.
“I don’t bite” he teases and you grab onto the hand, even after doing it so many times it still made your heart flutter.
“come here”
you let Percy pull you into him as you continue your walk, removing his hand from yours and you sigh at the loss of warmth, causing him to chuckle “don’t worry baby I’m not going too far” with that an arm wraps around your shoulder and pulls you close, in that moment your grateful for the cold, it’s a good excuse for your burning face. You feel yourself melt under his touch and allow your body to move closer into his, because it’s cold obviously, no other reason.
“so do you think Gilbert is more handsome than me?”
“I think he’s less annoying than you”
“you love me, don’t lie”
you do.
“did you listen to anything else Aneria said, or did you hear a complement about yourself and your brain tuned out”
“I heard that we’re the local gossip, you and I. My mom would be delighted if that were true”
your heart tugs painfully a little at that. it isn’t true, you have to remind yourself, but it feels nice to fall into a dream that it is.
You hum quietly in response and notice you’re only a few blocks away from yours and Percy’s shared apartment complex, Percy, as if sensing your disappointment, turns both your bodies away and continues down another street. Confused ,you send him a look that he returns with a smile “it’s a Friday night, we don’t have to go home now. Besides I though you wanted to go check out that Christmas market at union square?”
you stare up at Percy for a bit and just look, his redding nose and cheeks that complement his tan skin so well, his eyes, god, his eyes. They were always a source of amazement for you, you’ve never seen eyes like Percy’s, you always got lost in them, swearing that they changed into different shades of green and blue.
“I’m definitely more handsome than Gilbert” Percy’s face breaks out in a grin as you pull him towards the nearest subway station.
It was busy of course, like any Friday night in the city would be, Percy had managed to snag a seat for you two quickly and you raced to get yourself sat down before anyone else could come after it. Usually the cramped space made you uncomfortable but you never really minded with Percy, he didn’t seem to either with how he pressed his side against you.
An unspoken agreement to be as close of possible to each other was the norm for you too, you threw your legs over to hang in between his and wrap your arms around his arm closest to you, finally resting your head on his shoulder. You could stay like this forever, you think. Riding a cramped subway that had a familiar mixture of carolling and shouting, shuffling and bumping, crying and laughter. It’s like you couldn’t even hear the ruckus when you were tucked up with Percy, his head resting on top of yours, his strong hands resting on your legs, fingers tapping an familiar tune on your thigh.
You adored it.
“you know I don’t think this is going to help us mush out those rumours” you mumble into his jacket, still pressed firmly against you. Percy turn his head and presses his lips to your hair, “yeah I know”
you hum back softly in acknowledgment, the rush of having Percy so close to you was gorgeous. But after today, what then? You don’t mind the gossip and what if’s of strangers but the feeling of what if with Percy was becoming too much to bear, you didn’t want what if anymore. Percy, now having lifted his head to check out how far away you were from union square, gave you the opportunity to shift your head to look up at him. Sensing your gaze, Percy looks back down at you and admires how pretty your eyes looks gazing up at him through your lashes, the though makes him catch his breath and look away for a second, but you two were magnetic, drawn to each other and it wasn’t long until he was watching you again. His free hand came up to press against your cheek, reddened from happiness. “you’re so warm” Percy whispered, mostly to himself. You were always so warm, he used to joke that you were his portable hot water bottle. You lean slightly to press the fat of your cheek into his hand, just for a second, before moving back to against his shoulder.
“fuck” Percy says to himself again, you shoot him a confused glance and he squeezes your knee in return
“whats wrong? Do you need me to move-”
“no, no, stay there you’re good, you’re so good” the breathiness in his voice combined with his dark eyes freezes you. This felt different, this was all so new to you.
“I just really wish we weren’t on this subway right now, I don’t think Gilbert would kiss Anne on a subway train”
you don’t fight the laughter that echos out of you, of course he’d be worried about something like that
“Percy, I think Gilbert would do that. Besides I don’t care about what Gilbert would do, I don’t like Gilbert”
“well I hope not cus’ I’d be heartbroken”
“oh really”
“truly”
the train pulls to a halt and Percy rushes to get yous off, your laughter accompanies his movements as you both run up the stairs into the cool night, glancing at each other every few seconds. The streets were alive and bustling, you gripped Percy’s hand tightly as he pulled you away from the crowd to the side of a Bodega, squeezing your hand every few seconds as if to make sure you didn’t disappear.
his hands shook gently in yours and you squeezed them tight, you both stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime, you could feel the nerves creeping up on you now.
“Percy..”
“I know”
the loss of his hands in yours was quickly fixed by his hand cupping your face, the wool was comforting against your skin for a moment before it was gone, replaced by Percy’s now ungloved hand.
“i’m sorry this isn’t as pretty as Hester Grey’s old garden” Percy whispers, his thumb running over your cheek
“you have read Anne of green gables” you spoke back accusingly
“my mom read them to me as a kid”
Percy pulled you closer until you stood chest to chest, you tilted your head up and brushed his nose slightly “hey Percy?”
“mh?” you felt hypnotised under his gaze, his eyes almost seem to have darked. You’ve never been so close before.
“please kiss me”
“as you wish” is mumbled against your lips, you can feel his nose pressing against your cheek as he’s kissing you, his mouth so warm and firm against yours. Your arms snake around his shoulders as his hands slide down your back and settle on your waist, gripping tightly. You know that the word will spread by tomorrow morning about the Jackson boy getting handsy outside the Bodega and it makes you smile against Percy, he only pulls back for a second to catch his breath, hands never leaving you once
“do you want to go to the markets?” you take a second to admire how messy Percy looks, face flushed and hair ruffed up from your hands. You must look the same from how Percy’s staring right back at you. You shake your head yes and press back against him “eager girl, you need me that much, huh?” you smack his arm hard.
“says the one who practically dragged me out of the subway to do this”
he presses a quick kiss to your lips to shut you up.
“we’ll check out these markets and then walk home, hows that sound?”
“walk? Why would we walk” yous turn hand in hand back towards the colourful crowd of people, everything seems so much brighter now.
“because then I get to have you to myself for longer” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
The next morning you woke to a knock at the door, Percy having dropped you home only hours before. You practically dragged your feet to the door and swung it open, the chill of the wooden floors making you want to get this interaction done and over with quickly. To your surprise no one stood on the other side, you looked down to see a plate full of blue chocolate chip cookies wrapped in cling film with a note on top, taking them inside quickly you pressed your back against the door and read the messy writing.
Meet me at the Bodega in 15 minutes, breakfast on me.
You can’t help but laugh at it, it’s definitely no Gilbert Blythe, but its Percy Jackson, which is so much better.
a/n: hellooooooo i have returned minions. don't really like this fic tbh but i am so ready for Christmas and needed to get something out, and I've fallen back into my pjo phase so expect more of this <3 i also have a Jake Sully fic in the works for my avatar ppl
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polishchuk · 6 months
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Yukio Mishima as Saint Sebastian (60s)/ Guido Reni - Saint Sebastian, 1615
“I was flipping through one of the last pages of a volume. All of a sudden, from the corner of the next page, there flashed before my eyes an image that I had to assume had lurked there for my benefit alone.
It was a reproduction of Guido Reni’s Saint Sebastian, which figures in the collection of Palazzo Rosso in Genoa.
The trunk of the tree of torment, black and slightly oblique, stood out against the Titianesque background of a gloomy forest and a serene sky, gloomy and distant. A young man of singular loveliness stood bound naked to the trunk of the tree, his arms drawn up, and the straps that clasped his crossed wrists were fastened to the tree itself. No ties of any other kind were discernible, and the only covering of the young man’s nakedness consisted of a rough white cloth that loosely wrapped around his loins.
I imagined that it was a description of a Christian martyrdom. But since it was due to a painter of the eclectic school derived from the Renaissance, even from this painting depicting the death of a Christian saint exuded a strong aroma of paganism. The young man’s body - one could even compare it to that of Antinous, Hadrian’s favorite, whose beauty was so often immortalized in sculpture - bears no trace of the hardships or exhaustion derived from missionary life, which imprint the effigy of other saints: instead, this one uniquely manifests the springtime of youth, uniquely light and pleasure and gracefulness.
That white and incomparable nudity of hers sparkles against a background of twilight. His sinewy arms, the arms of a praetorian accustomed to flex his bow and brandish his sword, are raised in a harmonious curve, and his wrists cross immediately above his head. The face is turned slightly upward and the eyes are wide open, contemplating the glory of heaven with deep tranquility. It is not suffering that hovers over the expanded chest, the taut abdomen, the barely twisted lips, but a flicker of melancholy pleasure like music. Were it not for the arrows with their points stuck in his left armpit and right hip, he would rather look like a Roman athlete relieving fatigue in a garden, leaning against a dark tree.
Arrows have plunged into the heart of the young, pulpy, fragrant flesh, and are about to consume the body from within with flames of heartbreak and supreme ecstasy. But the blood is not gushing out; the swarm of arrows seen in other paintings of St. Sebastian’s martyrdom has not yet raged. Here instead, two lone arrows send their quiet and delicate shadows over the smoothness of the skin, similar to the shadows of a branch falling on a marble staircase.
But all these interpretations and discoveries came later.
That day, the moment I glimpsed the painting, my whole being quivered with pagan joy. My blood roiled in my veins, my loins swelled almost in an emptiness of rage. The monstrous part of me that was close to exploding waited for me to use it with unprecedented ardor, rebuking my ignorance, gasping in outrage. My hands, not at all unconsciously, began a movement I had never learned. I felt something secret, something radiant, launching itself rattily to the assault from within. It erupted suddenly, bringing with it a blinding intoxication....
Some time elapsed and then, in a desolate mood, I looked around at the desk I stood in front of. Outside the window a maple tree was casting a vivid glare everywhere -- on the ink bottle, on school books and notebooks, on the dictionary, on the image of St. Sebastian. Splashes of a dim whiteness appeared here and there - on the title in gold letters of a textbook, on the margin of the inkwell, on an edge of the dictionary. Some objects dripped lazily, others glowed with a dim gleam like the eyes of a dead fish. Fortunately, a reflexive movement of my hand to protect the figure had prevented the volume from soiling.
That was my first ejaculation. And it was also the clumsy and totally unplanned beginning of my “bad habit.”
–Yukio Mishima “Confessions of a Mask”
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usafphantom2 · 2 months
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Twilight’s Last Gleam ( Gleaming😉) A pair of A-10Cs assigned to the 40th Flight Test Squadron but flown by pilots from the Air National Guard/Air Force Reserve Command Test Center. 📷: Joe Copalman.
@Stealthy via X
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mysweetlixe · 6 months
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-Attractive Things
Words: 1.4k
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Chan was driving Y/N to their favorite and she watched the sun slowly dip below the horizon from her window. Chan was driving Y/N home, her lips pursed in a thin line as she watched the sun slowly dip below the horizon from her window. She was enamored with the way Chan drove; one hand lightly resting on the wheel, his gaze fixed ahead as though he knew exactly which turns to take.
He maneuvered through winding roads and at times even took shortcuts that would have otherwise been lost on her. Every so often he'd glance over at her before turning his attention back to driving, a small smirk occasionally tugging at corners of his mouth when she caught him looking - something random she found attractive about him and only made Y/N love him more.
The sun had almost disappeared from view when they reached their spot where they always parked off-road in hopes of catching some stargazing time together after their drive home from work or class each day. The previously short journey had stretched into twilight by then but neither of them seemed bothered; rather it felt like a cherished ritual between couples whom already loved deeply for one another - just basking in each other’s company.
Minho was on the couch, seemingly lost in thought, when Y/N came over and sat next to him. His hands moved to her hair as he began playing with it, something he often did when his mind was elsewhere.
Y/N found something strangely attractive about the way he moved his hands through her hair - it was thoughtful but gentle. It reminded her of how much care and attention he paid to everything, no matter if it was a simple task or something more complicated; Minho always gave one hundred percent effort into anything that had to do with Y/N.
as his hands glided through her hair she couldn't help but notice the way his fingers lingered around the edges of her face, as if he was memorizing every inch with his fingertips. Y/N laughed out loud when Minho's thoughtful musings got interrupted by him getting lost in a particular area and then randomly moving to a different spot entirely. She appreciated that she could instantly break his focus - but even more so that it never lasted long before he returned back to task at hand.
Changbin opened his eyes as the morning light shone through the window, and he moved to get out of bed. But right before he could make his move, Y/N stirred awake and saw him stretching in the early hours.
She loved watching him each morning when he did this. Something that was totally random but also captivating: his muscles tensing and collecting as he reached toward the ceiling, then flexed back into place; a sort of exercise that seemed to have a purposeful gracefulness - like every stroke of activity was intentional and playful all at once; in fact it felt like play. She opened her eyes just enough to follow his movements and noticed how they shifted from side to side, up and down - making her blush involuntarily whenever she caught him at it when she woke up.
Y/N watched Changbin step forward, his bare torso gleaming with moisture as he stretched upwards before moving left and then right. She had been dozed off for only a moment and yet she'd missed his entire routine. As he twisted around on his feet, Y/N was suddenly aware of how much effort had gone into this small amount of movement - she could see how each move was calculated perfection, a dance between muscle and bone that was mesmerizingly attractive to watch from afar.
And though they were only small moments in their day-to-day lives, Y/N couldn't help but appreciate even more just how special these little quirks about them made each other feel; as if no matter what life threw at them or where fate would lead them next year, this fleeting moment between them will always remain timeless amidst any turmoil or bliss that might come their way someday in the future together.
Hyunjin stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He glanced in the mirror, inspecting his own reflection. Y/N observed from the room as he raked his hands through his damp hair, disheveling it in a way she adored- yet another one of his random gestures that always grabbed her attention.
It wasn't just the physicality of it, though; it was also the thoughtfulness and purpose that was so attractive to her. As he combed through each strand with his fingers, it appeared as if Hyunjin was almost creating a work of art in the mirror.
Y/N felt like an audience to a small performance because, although subtle, there was something oddly soothing about watching Hyunjin carefully arranging his hair in ways that he found pleasing. And when he eventually finished, he would look at himself in the mirror for a brief moment - as if to admire his own handiwork - before finally turning away and heading back to face Y/N again.
Every single time she saw him do this made her heart swell with appreciation for him; and it reminded her why she loved him more and more each day they spent together - no matter how small or random their moments may be.
Felix and Y/N walked down the busy street, their hands casually brushing against each other. As they weaved through the crowd, Felix felt a sudden apprehension that Y/N might get lost in the hustle and bustle. He placed his hand on her lower back, guiding her along the sidewalk. At first, Y/N was unsure how to react, but as soon as she felt the security of his touch, she couldn't help but crack a small smile. There was something so alluring about this man who cared for her well-being.
As they kept walking, Y/N noticed that Felix would randomly drop his hand to her side and then bring it back up to the small of her back. It wasn't anything overbearing or too intimate, but it was enough for her to feel comforted. Even in this chaotic environment, Felix was there for her - always ready to protect and guide her in whatever direction she needed.
Y/N couldn't help but find this gesture incredibly attractive; it spoke volumes about the kind of person he was and the lengths he'd go through just to keep her safe. It made her heart swell with love and admiration for him - a feeling that only seemed to grow stronger every time he did something like this.
Seungmin was speaking to Y/N, but instead of listening to his words, she focused on the way his hand moved excitedly.Every so often, he would raise his arm after he made a point and then move it slightly back and forth. It was an oddly endearing habit that she hadn't noticed before; in fact, it felt almost like he was performing a small dance with each movement of his arm.
Every time he moved the way reminded her how handsome he was, and when he stopped moving to take a breath, she couldn't wait for him to start again. Despite the simplicity of the gesture, Y/N couldn't help but feel captivated by it.
She loved how passionate and determined Seungmin was in whatever he did - even simply talking to her - and the way his hand moved only helped to emphasize this quality even further.
It made her see him in a different light - one filled with admiration and appreciation for every little thing about him; including these random yet attractive actions that only seemed to make her love him more.
Jeongin had stretched out on the couch, propped back against its cushions, as he chatted away on his phone. Y/N was just staring at the way he was stretched out- the way his arm casually hung off the edge of the couch, his hair slightly tousled, and how his mannerisms seemed to soothe her.
But then she noticed something else: the pad of Jeongin's thumb stroked back and forth over the seam in the couch cushion. The minuscule movement was almost unnoticeable in its pace, like a man counting his breaths to calm himself.
But nonetheless, Y/N found herself transfixed by it; and although it may have been subtle, there was something oddly attractive about this random act that he did without even realizing it.
It made her think about how thoughtful and attentive he was to everything around him; as if this small gesture embodied all of those qualities in one simple action. And with each passing moment, Y/N couldn't help but fall further in love with him for all these little things he did - both consciously and unconsciously - that made him who he was.
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assortedseaglass · 7 months
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We Have This Hope - III
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Osferth x Lady-in-Waiting
[Masterlist]
Story Tags: Fluff, Slow Burn, Mentions of Violence, Strong Language, Religious Guilt, Smut
Notes: Barely proofed. Will do later. Hope you enjoy my loves. H x
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Aefry and Osferth’s mutual fascination continued over the week and, much to Aefry’s delight, she was provided with plenty of chances to see him, for wherever Aethelflaed went, Uhtred seemed to follow. What’s more, wherever Aethelflaed and Uhtred went, so too did her ladies and his band of warriors. 
Following their fleeting meeting after mass, Aefry had glimpsed Osferth on her way back from the meadows just beyond the keep’s edge. She’d spent the day there with her book of psalms and her pages of drawings. Butterflies, plants, the skies above her and the ripple of the Itchen river. Wrapped in a shawl and sat beneath the old oak that guarded the grassland, Aefry was content to draw, read and daydream. Of her parents, of life beyond the keep, of warriors, of the boy with rough-shorn hair and worried eyes…
The day was drawing in when she made her way back to the warmth of the keep, the grey sky purpling as the sun descended below the trees. A brisk coolness settled on her cheeks, and she felt them turn red. These transitory days of autumn, like those of spring, brought a promise of something on the horizon that only the birds above them could see. In a life so still and, though she was grateful of her position, monotonous, Aefry found the quiet adventure in them thrilling. She thrilled too when, against the darkening sky, a white horse gleamed. Walking slowly, it’s head bobbing with each step, it looked like a spectre. Her cheeks burned all the hotter when she saw the man leading the horse to the stables. 
Head downcast like that of his steed, he too seemed aglow in the twilight. Pale skin smooth as clay, his breath taking flight against the cold air. With his shoulders slumped, Aefry saw not the shy yet brave warrior monk she had become so intrigued by those last days, but a boy. Somehow, despite his quiet courage, he seemed defeated. Not once had he looked up to see his progress towards the stable, glancing only at his feet as they shuffled across the hard earth. He was missing the gentle sunset, had not stopped to look in the direction of the blackbird singing in the hedgerow, not noticed how she stood at the edge of the field, watching. She had to know what troubled him. Spurred on by that desire, any decorum left Aefry as she hurried forward. 
At the rustle of leaves underfoot nearby, Osferth glanced up. Catching each other’s eyes, they both abruptly stood still. Osferth, hand at his sword, gawked at her. Aefry wobbled on the spot, having been caught rushing towards him. The white horse huffed and a great cloud of its breath rose into the sky. 
The look that lingered between them was a second longer than proper, and Aefry became once more a young lady of propriety. Smiling gently, she moved slowly towards Osferth. He glanced quickly at the white horse, patting its thick neck as if finding something to do. Not even Uhtred or the King stirred this much nervousness in him. 
“Forgive me, Sir-” 
“Osferth,” he corrected. Aefry was relieved to see a small smile curve his lips. 
“Osferth,” she whispered his name. To say it aloud, with no title, seemed indecent. “I am on my way back to my mistress, but when I saw you-” Aefry teetered on the precipice of this confession. Did it reveal too much? “Forgive me. I thought you looked sad.” 
Osferth looked straight at her then, and the hand that rubbed the horse’s neck fell to his side. “Not sad, my Lady, just defeated.” 
“Defeated?” She took a step closer to him, eager to know what caused the good man’s disappointment.
Osferth saw the worried crease of her brow and hurried to reassure her.
“Finan, he has been teaching me to spar. ‘Properly,’ he says.” It was as though the moon had risen early. All at once, Aefry saw the purple blooming under his eyes and the small grazes to his cheeks. When he held out his hands, dropping the reins of his horse to reveal the smattering of bruises across his knuckles, she gasped and took hold of them. 
How intoxicating it was, this woman’s worry for him. Excitement, rapidly followed by shame, overcame Osferth and with all the effort he could muster he took his hands back from her. How wanton, to crave more of it. 
“Wait, please,” Aefry said, turning in the direction she arrived from. Osferth watched her reach the edge of the meadow and crouch by a green mat of vegetation. In the low light, it was as if watching someone ascend from deep water. As she walked back to him, a handful of green clutched in her hand, she slowly came back into focus. Osferth shuffled from foot to foot and swallowed, looking quickly back to the horse. Blinking quickly, he saw the outline of her inside his eyelids. The ripple of her long hair, the sturdy footsteps towards him, her silhouette growing ever closer as her hips swayed side to side beneath the modest tunic she wore. He knew at once he would recount the image of her walking slowly towards him in the twilight. That night, in all likelihood. Osferth blushed and bowed his head. His boots were caked in mud, no doubt his tunic torn and much the same. He flattened the hair on his forehead and, shame yet again welling up inside him, hastily dropped his arm. 
“I acknowledge my sin to you, and hide not my inequity-”
“Pardon?” Aefry had begun tearing the leaves in her hand as she stopped before Osferth.
“I-er, she is-she is restless,” Osferth gestured to the horse.
Even with his head bowed, his body stooping to appear small, he towered over her. Aefry came eye level with his leather cuirass, and the cross the rested there. A good man indeed. Funny, Aefry thought, that she found the holy men of the keep so pious they bordered on arrogance, boring to the point of inertia, or else more sinful than those they preached to. Power, she supposed, was the currency of man, and there was plenty for those who had taken holy orders under the command of the King. In Osferth, however, the presence of the cross at his chest calmed her, for she had seen the truth that he was a good man. Ruled not by power, but by his kindness and conscience. A true man of God. He was still shuffling uncomfortably at her side.
“Well then,” Aefry said with a gentle smile. “We best get you both inside.” Her twinkling eyes met his and Osferth’s heart drummed unsteadily in his chest. She turned on her heel and made her way towards the stables. With the click of his teeth, Osferth and his steed followed eagerly in her wake.
The closer they drew to the dimly lit stable, the clearer the voices within it became. That is to say, one voice. The two men inside barely noticed as Aefry pushed open the door and slipped inside. Instead, it was the sound of horse hooves on the dampened ground that told the men they were no longer alone. 
“Hurt your bollocks as well as the rest of your body?” Finan said to Osferth, indicating the horse he hadn’t ridden and laughing heartily. Sihtric smirked but continued brushing the dark horse he rode. Beside them, Aefry appeared from a small stall with a bowl of water.
“Fuck!” Finan jumped back at the small woman’s seemingly sudden arrival. 
Blushing at the language, Aefry laughed. “Perhaps, Osferth, you should take sparring lessons from me. He may be the brute but I clearly have the cunning.” She playfully nudged Finan’s shoulder and found he didn’t budge. It made her giggle all the more and the three men stared at her. Sihtric in question, Osferth in amazement and Finan in mirthful admiration. Unaware, Aefry continued tearing the plant in her hand and adding it to the bowl.
“What have you there?” Sihtric’s voice was quiet. 
“Yarrow,” Aefry offered him one of the flowering stems. “It helps to soothe swelling.” She watched as Sihtric turned the flower between his fingers. Despite his height, his fearsome, bicolour gaze and endless stoicism, there was gentleness to this man she was certain many overlooked. To all of them. Whereas it was plain in Osferth, behind the tough exteriors of Sihtric and Finan lay good-hearted souls. Sihtric with his childlike wonder, Finan with his easy humour. Uhtred too possessed a tenderness, if the way he looked at Aethelflaed was anything to judge. 
Silence, but for the huffing and shuffling of the horses, settled about the stable. Aefry worked the yarrow and water into a paste, unaware of the silent exchange occurring above her head. 
Osferth, still shy around his adoptive comrades and overcome with an emotion entirely foreign to him in the presence of Aefry, looked everywhere in the stable but her. Occasionally, as he glanced between the ceiling’s beams or the hay-strewn floor, he caught either Finan or Sihtric’s eyes. Sihtric, in his usual way, fixed him with a knowing stare somewhere between teasing and curiosity. Each time Osferth caught Finan’s eye, however, he entered into a silent battle with the Gael. 
Finan indicated Aefry with his head, encouraging Osferth to step closer, or else would mouth instructions. “Talk to her!” “Say something!”. Once or twice, he even caught Finan making lewd gestures. When the Gael balled his fist before his crotch, Osferth’s eyes widened and he darted into one of the stalls. In doing so he brushed against Aefry’s shoulder, and the warmth he felt beneath her shawl sent a surge of lightning through him. 
Flustered by the commotion of his own sudden movement, Osferth almost lost track of where he was and what he was doing. He span around. “I’m sorry, my Lady-” Osferth’s voice died. Aefry was watching him with a smile. No annoyance at his carelessness, worry no longer knitting her brow. Simply smiling at him. 
Though bolder than he was, Osferth had noticed in his few meetings with the lady-in-waiting, of which this was the third, that, like him, Aefry was content with silence. He wished then that he had the courage for idle chatter. This lingering silence was torturous. The more she looked at him, and the more he looked at her, the more likely it seemed to him that heaven truly was real and not just a tool to frighten men into subjection.
“Let me see your hand again,” Behind Aefry, Finan walked past the stall and winked. Osferth didn’t move, and so Aefry came to him. Mistaking his infatuation for his earlier disappointment, she reached out and took his hand. Osferth almost whimpered. He bit the inside of his cheek to silence himself and released a ragged breath through his nose. 
“I’m sorry, but the yarrow will help.” 
Osferth let out a shaky laugh at her unknowing sweetness. “‘Tis fine.” When she began massaging the yarrow into his knuckles, Osferth held his breath, for never before could he remember being touched with such gentleness. 
He barely remembered his mother. Sometimes, he thought of her running her hand over his head, but was unsure if this was a memory or merely something his mind had conjured up in the absence of her. When he entered the monastery, it was with the clap of his uncle Leofric’s hand at his back and a promise that he would always be near. 
In their memory, Osferth touched the cross at his chest. Aefry’s eyes flickered there but she asked no questions, and began rolling a torn piece of cloth about his hand.
Behind the walls of the monastery, Osferth knew nothing but prayer and penance. 
The blond hair his mother had allowed to grow long was roughly shorn, his clothes were replaced with itchy hand-me-down robes, and despite having lived so meagrely before, he would have given anything to sleep on the hay mattress of his uncle Leofric’s rather than the wooden board and blanket of his shared quarters. 
That first room he shared with two other boys, Arric and Hablendan. He did not need to ask why they were sent to the monastery. The abbots looked at the three boys with an obvious disdain that they did not show the other novitiates. They were woken between matins and prime, then set to work preparing breakfast for the sleeping monastery. After a long day of work and prayer, Osferth and his companions would say compline, or vigil before Sunnundaeg, and await the abbot to permiss them sleep, long after everyone else had retired. 
Bastards. Shame of father and family. That was why. 
“A stain upon the good King’s virtue.” 
“Nothing but a whore’s shame.”
“It would have been far better if you had never been born.”
When Hablendan succumbed to a fever aged eleven, the penitential psalms were hurried, his anointing near forgot, and the abbots slung him in a haphazard grave beyond the monastery wall. Only Osferth and Aerric kept vigil.
Arric left the monastery suddenly, and from time to time Osferth imagined he had run away with a tradesman or visiting abbess. That way he could believe a life beyond that harsh place existed. A monastery in a warmer climate perhaps, or a new life altogether. 
“Osferth?” 
So tender was her voice that Osferth thought he’d imagined it. The voice of Hablendan or Arric. Perhaps even his uncle or mother. 
He blinked in the dim light, and felt a warmth about his hands. She had taken both in her own, and held them gently before her. Her eyes, a muddy mixture of browns, were looking up at him with concern. 
“‘Tis fine,” he said again, although the lump in his throat betrayed any attempt at ease. Aefry nodded, held his hand a moment longer, then let go. Osferth twitched awkwardly before coughing and clearing the stall to make way for his horse. That he had been about to take her hand once more, Aefry did not know.  
“Will your mistress not worry where you are?” Sihtric was heaving his horse’s saddle onto one of the stable beams.
“If Lord Uhtred is with her, I doubt it entirely,” Aefry said with a smile. “Her mother, however-” The men laughed. “I am away. Remove the dressing in the morning and the swelling should have gone down,” she addressed Osferth. “If not, seek me out and I will gather more.” 
“He surely will,” Finan stepped forward with yet another gleeful glance in Osferth’s direction as he wrapped a cloak around his shoulders. “I’ll walk you back.”
Osferth’s heart sank. He had not known Finan long, but it was enough to see the long looks women gave him. Wit, kindness, honour, strength. How could he possibly compete? Aefry and Finan were backing out of the door when Sihtric nudged Osferth’s shoulder and nodded in their direction. Aefry was looking hopefully at him over Finan’s shoulder.
“Goodnight Osferth, goodnight Sir,” Sihtric nodded his head at Aefry. Osferth bowed a little. 
“Come,” Sihtric said to him. “You have more to learn than swordsmanship.” And together they trudged towards the inn on the outskirts of town, Osferth hanging off his every word. 
In the opposite direction, Finan and Aefry walked in comfortable silence. The sun had set fully and torches flickered at the welcoming gates of the keep. In a few moments, they would be sheltered in its warmth. Aefry’s stomach gave a rumble and she laughed. 
“Thank you, Sir, for walking me back,” Finan smiled and Aefry continued. “Though, and I do not mean to offend, I suspect it was not for my safety.” Expecting to see annoyance in her eyes, Finan looked at her. To his pleasant surprise, he saw her eyes twinkle in the low light. A broad smile stretched across his bonny face. “I do believe Saeflaed will have returned from her father’s by now.”
“I would not have let you walk back alone, lady-”
“Aefry.” She corrected, holding a hand to her chest. He copied the movement.
“Finan.” Aefry nodded and Finan continued. “But a glimpse of her would not go amiss.” 
Aefry’s smile widened. Finan had thought her a meek little thing at first, smaller than her companions, not so pretty as Saeflaed or outspoken as Adburh. But he saw now that he was wrong. Behind the round cheeks and rosy complexion, pleasing manner and quiet reserve, a brightness burned within her. Quick to help and to laugh just as he. The youngest of Aethelflaed’s ladies, he thought perhaps, despite Saeflaed’s beauty, that Aefry was his favourite.
“She’s very pretty, isn’t she?” Aefry said, her voice full of that longing awe one heard in a girl recalling a princess, or a little boy dreaming of the battlefield.
“I’ve never seen a fairer lass,” 
“And here she is,” she indicated the keep gates, where a golden haired girl stood waiting. Aefry turned to Finan, a knowing glint in her eye. “Almost as if this meeting were planned.” 
“Not a word to your mistress of Uhtred,” Finan held her arm gently. 
Aefry held a finger to her lips as she slipped away, and Finan watched as she clasped Saeflaed’s hand before disappearing through the gate. 
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Over the next few days, the three men and three women followed their leaders like a gaggle of children. 
Having told Aefry how much she liked the man, Saeflaed either clung to her arm or Finan’s, whispering hurried observations in the former’s ear, flirtations in the latter’s.
“His wit is as sharp as his sword!”
“There’s something about his eyes,”
“I watched him train the monk,” Aefry’s ears pricked. “His arms, Aefry!” 
Poor Adburh was quite taken as ever by the silent Sihtric, but the discovery of his wife had left her quite bereft. 
“Many a man takes a mistress, Adburh,” Saeflaed had said.
“I’ll not be a man’s whore,” Adburh snapped from beneath her bedsheets.
“Not even a man so beautiful?”
Adburh sniffled and Aefry silenced her friend with a quick glance. 
When next they saw Uhtred and his men, all walking the halls and corridors of the keep as he spoke to Aethelflaed in hushed tones, Aefry was forced to abandon her position by the monk to remind Adburh that she was at court. At once, the red-headed girl’s shoulders straightened, the crease of her forehead vanished and her steps became lighter. 
“He is a handsome man, ‘tis true,” Aefry whispered to Adburh. “But not the man for you, my friend.” Adburh’s face soured at once and she made to protest. Aefry didn’t allow it. “Aside from his marital status, he is far too quiet and serious. Imagine the household you would run together! You, fearsome and outspoken. He, fearsome and silent. That poor man would not stand a chance.” Adburh laughed sadly and linked her arm through Aefry’s. Together, they processed behind the others.
Uhtred and Aethelflaed were a way ahead now. Uhtred too, seemed equally bewitched by Aethelflaed as Adburh was with Sihtric, and Aefry was glad to see a man bestow her mistress some compassion. The image of a gentleman in her presence, Uhtred listened to Aethelflaed’s words as though she were bestowing upon him a prophecy. He walked half a step behind her at all times, and always, his gaze was directed toward her. 
Finan and Saeflaed, still holding his arm, were a few paces behind them with Sihtric. Aefry giggled as Saeflaed’s golden curls bounced animatedly as she spoke to him, and Finan looked over his shoulder at the noise and winked. 
Osferth saw him do so and glanced to where Aefry and Adburh walked. The moment he looked at her, Aefry’s steps faltered. 
“Are you alright?” It was Adburh who sounded concerned now. 
“Yes. Yes, fine,” Aefry resumed her steps and looked to Osferth. He had turned back to face the front. Let him look round again, please. The strange sensation that had made its home in Aefry’s chest ever since she met the monk stirred, and she gulped a few times to steady her breath. 
“Are you sure?” 
“Adburh,” Aefry lay a hand atop her friends. “Believe me when I say, I am fine.” Adburh eyed her suspiciously but they continued ahead. 
Osferth walked alone between the groups, hands clasped behind his back. As people passed them in the corridors, going about their business, Aefry found a new appreciation for his height. She had seen few men so tall. He was taller than Finan, that was certain. Now, she saw he was taller than Uhtred and much the same height as Sihtric. She thought of the three warriors and their broad backs, and her mind wandered to what lay beneath Osferth’s robes. Whether he would become as muscled as them as he continued his training- 
I’m sorry. Let him look at me, and I’ll spend Sunnandaeg in the chapel. 
Aefry did not know precisely what it was that she longed to see, but when Osferth turned to look at her again, his mellow eyes brightening when he saw her already watching him, she felt a small part of her desire to be seen by him sated. 
“Aefry, your cheeks are flushed. Are you certain-”
“Adburh!” Aefry dropped her friend’s arm in annoyance and took a few rushed steps forward before realising where she was; a step or so behind Osferth. When Adburh stomped past them, her temper flaring, Osferth startled and gazed back. Upon seeing Aefry so close, he startled again but smiled all the same.
“Her fires are burning rather hot today,” Aefry mumbled, giving Osferth a small curtsy. 
“Is everything well?” said Osferth as he watched Adburh storm ahead.
“She had some bad news,” Aefry wouldn’t betray Adburh’s feelings, no matter her annoyance.
Osferth hummed and waited for Aefry to fall into step beside him. Unlike that which she had shared with Finan, Aefry could not say their silence was comfortable. On the contrary, both seemed strained to think of something to say and altogether uneasy. 
“The yarrow worked-”
“How is your practice-”
Both spoke together, blushed and allowed the quiet to resume. After a moment, Aefry took Osferth’s hand. Perhaps it was an excuse just to touch him, but she brought his knuckles to the light of a passing window and examined his bruises. The yarrow had worked indeed, for she could make out the bone and blue veins of his hands. His hands. How small hers suddenly felt underneath his. When she looked up at him, she saw he was still staring down at their entwined hands. 
“Do you need anything more of me?” she whispered.
Osferth’s eyes flickered to hers. “Lady, I-”
“Come on, Osferth!” 
Finan’s voice boomed down the corridor and Aefry stepped quickly away from Osferth. Onward they walked. 
“That is much like how he speaks to me when teaching,” Osferth said lowly and Aefry laughed. “But he is kind do it, and a good man.”
“That he is.” 
Osferth watched her from the corner of his eye. She smiled as she looked in Finan’s direction and he tried to quell his jealousy. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want,” he whispered. 
Ahead, Uhtred and Aethelflaed had stopped outside a large cabinet of rooms at the fore of the keep, and Aefry, distracted on their journey there, noticed at once that it was the study of the King. She quickened her steps, leaving Osferth’s side, to stand behind her mistress. It would not do for Lady Aelswith to see her at the side of one of Uhtred’s men and not her daughter. 
No sooner had she, Saeflaed and Adburh settled behind Aethelflaed did the door to the cabinet open. Father Beocca stepped out and grasped Uhtred’s hand. A moment after, the King entered the corridor and all in his presence bowed their heads. Aethelflaed kissed his cheek. 
“You are ready?” He said to his daughter and Uhtred, to which they nodded and entered his private chambers with Beocca. As Aefry bowed once more, she noticed the King’s intelligent eyes carry over Finan and Sihtric, before flicking to the man stood still in the corridor.
Subtly, so imperceptibly, Aefry saw Alfred falter. From her reverent position, she looked sideways through the veil of her hair.
Osferth was looking pointedly at the ground, his shoulders a little stooped, his head a little bowed.
When the King turned away, Osferth looked up and saw that Aefry was watching him again. With a sad smile and nod of his head, he retraced his steps, away from his fellows, and out of sight. A haunting sadness had returned to his eyes, and Aefry thought of little else all evening.
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Early one morning under the guise of prayer, Aethelflaed brought her ladies-in-waiting to the town chapel so she may share some secret with Uhtred before he and his men left for the north.
Finan and Sihtric were stood at the door, happily talking when they arrived. They bowed to Aethelflaed as she passed, sharing a knowing look, and greeted the ladies. Saeflaed placed herself by Finan and leant gaily against the stone wall so that her hip jutted just so. Adburh, too, stood scandalously close to Sihtric. He said nothing. Aefry did not worry about Osferth’s own whereabouts, for she knew he would be inside.
Sure enough, when she pushed open the chapel’s great doors, daylight streaked into the chamber and set him aglow. Sat on a simple wooden bench at the back of the chapel, his head was bent in prayer. Like a moth to a flame, she drifted towards him, sitting carefully beside him as he prayed.
The creaking of the wood gave her away, and Osferth opened one eye. When he saw her sat beside him, he smiled and relaxed in his seat. Together, the monk and the young lady sat in contended silence at the back of the chapel. After a while he looked at her fully and saw the happiness on her face.
“What has you smiling, my Lady?” Osferth whispered in her ear as they sat side by side. Aefry looked up at him. His hands were clasped in his lap, his head bowed slightly to hear her answer. Wherever he went, he always looked in prayer, and she wondered if it was the same on the battlefield. If he fought with as much grace as he did everything else.
“Those two,” she indicated Uhtred and Aethelflaed with her eyes. “It is good to see her smile again.”
From the corner of his eye, he watched her face glow with tenderness. It seemed her permanent state. On occasion, he had seen her about the keep with Aethelflaed and her other companions. Where Adburh and Saeflaed seemed suited to keeping the princess jovial, the lady beside him must have been picked as a companion for her quiet sincerity. When Aethelflaed fell into clouds of despair, it was Aefry she went to to lift her spirits.
When Osferth stumbled upon Aefry in the town, or sat in the meadow beyond the keep, she moved with serenity, like river buttercup in a stream. It struck him that she was prayer incarnate; contemplative, curious, calm.
When tending to the horses, he watched her in the meadow. She gathered flowers, read beneath the oak tree, or when not alone, talked spiritedly with her companions. Just as fascinated as she was with the monk, he too was with the lady-in-waiting.
“Though she doesn’t show it, not to Lord Uhtred, she is sad.” The monk titled his head towards her as she spoke. “You are away tomorrow, are you not?”
He nodded, eyes scanning hers. Would she be sad when he left? As Aethelflaed was for Uhtred?
“Take care, Just Osferth,” she smiled. His mouth twitched at the corners, and she knew he wanted to smile. “What?”
“My lady, do you think perhaps you could simply call me Osferth? The others have given me their own name, I should like to hear mine just plainly.”
The lady’s eyes lit with mirth. “What do the others call you?”
He sighed and looked at the cross atop the alter, as if pleading for help. “‘Baby monk.’” He whispered it in her ear like he was at confession, and she would have shuddered were it not for the ridiculousness of the name. She sniggered and the monk pinched his nose.
“Are you a monk anymore?” She had turned to him slightly, though she still glanced at her mistress every now and again. “Now that you are in Uhtred’s company?”
He thought a moment and watched his hands. “I don’t know what I am anymore.”
She took his hand in hers and faced him directly.
“You are Osferth.”
“That I am.” There it was again. Pride. Looking at her pretty face, open with kindness and judging of nothing as she watched him, Osferth felt that whatever he had been, or would be, was fine because she saw him. She.
“What do you think life would have held for you? Had you the choice?” Aefry knew the question was intimate, and should he rebuke her, she would understand. To her happiness, he did not.
“I do not think it matters, lady.” Visions of himself as a prince, or an ealdorman with wife and child flashed before his eyes. “My lot was chosen long before I was born.” Aefry knew he was thinking of his father’s actions but said nothing, only let him continue. “With another mother, another father, in a different realm perhaps my life would have been different, but it does not do to dwell. I am thankful for what I have been given.”
He watched her side, for she had turned to face Uhtred and Aethelflaed solemnly. Her lips parted delicately, plainly thinking over what he had said. A few strands of hair had fallen loose from the braid knotted at her nape, revealing the pulse point on the elegant column of her neck. Osferth was struck with the desire to run his finger along it and the britches beneath his tunic tightened. He shifted on the hard pew. Damn. Faintly, as though listening through water, he heard her say something similar to “we should leave them be.” He looked up to see Uhtred and Aethelflaed departing through the door behind the chancel.
“Will you pray with me?”
Her hand was still in his and she squeezed it before clasping her own in prayer. “Of course.”
Aefry knelt before him and he swallowed, shifting his hands beneath his tunic before kneeling beside her. Osferth wasn’t sure how long they prayed. Or rather, how long she prayed and he tried to. Her devoted mutterings and deeps sighs of breath were beautifully distracting, so he settled on watching her pray instead.
She leant her head on her hands, as though this would open a direct channel to help her commune with the divine. She glanced up on occasion, to gaze at the altar, before casting her eyes down. When she hastily wiped a tear from her cheek between devotions, he found he could take it no more and moved towards the offertory shrine next to the tabernacle. He hadn’t seen someone so moved by prayer since the monastery, and even then he believed the abbot did it to scare the oblates into servitude.
He took a candle and, placing it next to its fellows, lit it with a taper. Closing his eyes with the flame in hand, a moment’s solace finally found him, and he prayed for that which he always could. When he opened them, she was there beside him, placing her own candle upon the shrine having silently finished her prayers. As if in slow motion, he watched as she covered his hand with hers and moved the taper he still held to the wick. The candle flickered into life, and she let go.
“Who did you light your candle for?” she whispered, watching the flames dance together.
“My mother.”
“I lit mine for you. I want to see you safely back in Wintancaester.” Sadness befell Aefry’s eyes and Osferth said the only thing he could think that would ease her unhappiness.
“I shall try, my lady.��
She nodded. “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
His lips parted with barely supressed awe. “Psalm ninety-one.”
Aefry nodded again. “The psalms are my favourites.”
“My lips praise you, because your faithful love is better than life itself.” Osferth whispered, his eyes intent on hers.
“Psalm sixty-three.”
“Yes,” Each time he was near her, his voice floundered. It seemed it was not just he who struggled. The light of the chapel cast Osferth in a soft glow and his eyes, pierced by the sun, looked aflame. Aefry watched as his tongue ran slowly over his bottom lip and, mindful of their place in God’s house, pressed the back of her hand to his so as to feel close to him.
“I must away, my lady.” His words were abrupt, their sudden intimacy overwhelming.
“Yes, you must,”
Osferth swallowed, and with some urgency said, “But I will see you soon.” Her beautiful face became doleful as she looked at the bidding candles and he stepped closer to her. Her eyes, brimming with tears, took in his face and as he made to brush them away, she stood on her toes to place a chaste kiss against his cheek.
Frozen before the shrine, Osferth listened as her steps carried her from the chapel, away from Adburh and Saeflaed, from Finan and Sihtric, and from him.
In the meadow beyond the town, beneath the oak tree, Aefry let her tears fall.
“The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night,” she said aloud to the grasses and the birds. Please, she begged, please let him come back.
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Notes: Matins, prime, compline and vigil are part of the liturgical hours in the catholic faith, and are prayers that are said throughout the day. Typically for a monk, there would be matines, prime, lauds, none, sext, vespers and compline. Vigil came before holy days and some even took nocturnes which is around 1am. I used to live with a monk (true!) and sometimes I would do lauds with him. Fifteen minutes of quiet is a lovely way to start the day!
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