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peninkwrites · 2 years

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let's talk about karl. can we talk about karl?

im going to talk about mau!karl.

Five years ago he met this charming, intimidating law student while getting booked at the station for watch thief things. he tried to ask him out for drinks but the guy was reluctant, said he's "taken, sort of." Karl was enamored, but he'd take being friends in a heartbeat. Two not-dates-but-definitely-actually-dates later and somehow, through messy, half drunk rambling, it turns out "taken, sort of" means he's dating the JSchlatt. The terrifying mob boss who would definitely kill them both if he knew this was happening ("and what exactly is it that's happening?" "I want to fucking kiss you, obviously") and Karl decides. Okay. Cool. This Is Fine. So Schlatt will never find out this is happening. You Can Kiss Me Now. (and when Karl tells Quackity with the same level of solemn weight that he's pretty sure he's asexual, Quackity almost laughs, that this cute, sweet guy who wasn't scared off by him telling him that his other boyfriend would love his hypothetical head on a spike treated coming out as ace as something as damning as his whole deal. and then he kisses him. and Quackity can't remember the last time a kiss felt kind.) And it's only after several dates that he even learns the guy's actual name (he'd introduced himself as Q, for safety's sake, Karl now realizes, and knowing his name is Quackity doesn't stop him from calling him Q, it just means something different now)

and it takes two years of dating and Karl growing numb to the fact that Quackity is scared to be with him as much as he loves him and Quackity is the one who asks if he wants to move in. and they have to go through the almost militaristic process of ensuring that they both stay safe just as they had to when they first started dating, and Quackity still goes to work and then goes to Schlatt because if he tried to leave him that doesn't mean Karl gets more of his boyfriend it means he gets none of him except maybe a body in a gutter so he makes his peace with sharing him with a man who doesn't treat him right and honestly he doesn't care about the risks it puts on him, he doesn't care what Schlatt would do to him if he knew he existed, Karl only cares that Quackity wants him to be safe and Karl thinks Quackity deserves a partner who will do what he wants for a change, so he just supports him through it all. He doesn't like the violence, not from Schlatt, but also not from everything Quackity is involved in. If he had his way, Schlatt would be gone and so would all the rest of it and they would move across the river and Karl would spend the rest of his days poorly shuffling cards or whatever job there is for him to do in a casino. But that's not an option for them. Not now.

But Karl knows his job in all of this, and it's to be steady. Maybe not in the conventional sense, Karl's mind wanders too easily and in many ways he's aimless, but as long as he's still there for Quackity to come home to, that's steady enough. Karl puts up with a lot because he knows Quackity is putting up with more, so when Quackity is gone for odd hours, when he doesn't check in enough, Karl just waits and tries not to think about the sorts of things that could be keeping Quackity away for so long and when he comes home exhausted or hands bloody Karl doesn't ask questions. When Quackity refuses to be touched, not because he doesn't want Karl with him but simply because he needs a place where he can easily refuse, Karl sleeps on the couch without a word of complaint even as his mind wanders to more radical dreams of just packing a bag and the two of them running to some other city in need of a lawyer and a watch thief (they'd discussed it before. Well, discussed as in Karl would beg him on bad nights and Quackity would shut down and Karl would stop trying once Quackity told him "he'd follow me. he doesn't want me getting away, he would come after me. I've tried. he won't stop." and Karl would stop trying.) and Karl is not a violent man but sometimes his mind wanders there too. How hard would it be, to steal Quackity's gun and walk inside that house? Very hard, but it's a nice dream, even if Karl has never hit anyone let alone killed someone, so those thoughts remain only in the dark, and in the morning Quackity would kiss him again and leave for work and Karl would pretend that fixed things.

Karl signed up for this. And he doesn't regret it. But being with the man he loves has been resigning himself to a covert existence. So when Quackity is gone he sells watches on the corner, and some part of him he tries to keep buried wonders what it would be like to date someone without fear being ingrained into their relationship, so he calls out "hey! pretty guy!" to a man wandering the street and briefly wonders if he could sell the guy a watch and ask him on an ordinary, entirely unsecretive date, but he's saved from his own bitter desires by the idiot pulling out a badge. So Karl runs to Quackity, as he had been for the past six years, and Quackity steps up to protect him, as he had been doing all these years, but really, Karl knows it's his job to protect Quackity, to keep him if not safe, at least sane. Whatever the cost.

#im rotted #mafia au #honq #my writing #I GUESS.#i didn't mean for this to turn into a ficlet but here we are #abuse mention #spilled penink #i also realize this means Quackity has been dating Schlatt since he was 19.#fuck.#oh fucking hell he was nineteen. this is.#HE WAS NINETEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD.#Schlatt was like 30.#Quackity has spent almost the entirety of his adult life under Schlatt’s fucking thumb #god.#c!quackity #quackity #c!Karl

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cyncerity · 2 years

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Dad’s Troubles AU is back >:)

Mario Kart night at the Schlatt apartment with the Chuckle Sandwich boys-

This is after Ted learns that Charlie is a borrower, and he’s still not used to being around him in person just yet.

#dad’s troubles au #Ted assumes that being a tiny means you need help with using bigger things #he is very surprised to learn that Charlie is very good at handling himself #he doesn’t need extra help with big things: he’s an adult who can function by himself #Charlie doesn’t like when humans baby him and assume he can’t do things by himself #Ted will learn that eventually as Schlatt has #cyncerity #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #cynshitpost #cyn art #Teds arms suck but i could fix them #i gave up #i also don’t know what a game controller looks like #and i refused to use references on a 30 minute doodle #g/t art #g/t

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that-tall-queer-bassist · 1 year

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I think I understand people who like ARGs now

#i am having a great time #im just also strgging with like. 5 - 7 possible canon smps. not including all of the hermitcraft seasons. including both seasons of empires #cuz vee has favorites but also s2 is so gay and fits right?#but traffic series plus hermitcraft maybe 30 day hardcore maybe rats #and then theres non mc streams that inspo could be from #i did get laughed at for adding schlatt to the chart on the side cuz i went detectiving in old bookmarks of both authors #but I stand by my point of not overlooking anything #except false #and false #and mumbo #sorry mumbo #oh and also rendogs homoerotic powers idk whats up with that guy but i fully beleive hes a problem #although probably not THE problem

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ghostly-groves · 1 month

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Schlatt in the newest chuckle sandwich ep (3:30): Usually when I drink it’s just me sitting on my couch watching hermitcraft. And then bdubs is like “ooh time for another redstone with bdubs” and I’m like “great, dude. Fuck, man.”

#j schlatt hermitcraft watcher confirmed #jschlatt #schlatt #chuckle sandwich #hermitcraft #bdubs #my posts #the worst of scar #ghost 1k

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rabbitsrams · 8 months

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rewatching this sleep deprived video where schlatt keeps talking about tits so i will actually post this thing i wrote when i saw it initially

@light-blue-lace hey im posting it after weeks

nsfw under the cut, minors dni, 18+ only.

so one day you’re just chilling on the couch doing nothing when schlatt randomly asks you:

"can i see your tits?"

you're a bit surprised at how blunt he was being. "uh... why?"

"because."

"uh..."

"please?"

"um, okay." you lift your shirt, thankful you weren't wearing a bra. he looks at them for about 30 seconds, humming in approval and touching them for a bit. after he's done, he removes his hands and you put the shirt back down.

"thanks toots."

"uh huh, no problem..." you're a little confused but frankly quite aroused. like... he's seen them MANY times before. but there was something about him having the urge to see them in a normal mundane setting that was exciting. and him having that same reaction every time.

then he starts to do it more often.

always just straight up asking to see your tits and you always say yes, lifting your shirt and letting him see them.

then you start to walk around the house with smaller and tighter shirts that really show them off and he just loves it.

then one day you spice it up even more and just. walk around shirtless.

and he’s got his hands on them for hours. he just loves how pretty your tits are.

one of them is slightly bigger than the other and he just is absolutely fixated. loves them so much.

sitting on his lap as he edits and they're just in his face and he keeps getting distracted but he doesn't even care 'cause he "just wanted to see some fuckin' titties today."

also sending so many pics of them while he’s away and him saving every single one of them to use for... later...

bonus: so he's recording a drawing game (gartic, skribbl, etc.) for sleep deprived and one of the prompts is just. tits.

so he leaves the room to ask you if he can use yours as a reference (of course you say yes, you know it's just an excuse for him to see them but you don't even care).

the drawing turns out like really good and the boys are like WHOAAAA.....

one of them was like "what was your reference ain't no way you did that from memory" and he just straight up says:

"my girlfriend."

that's how your relationship was revealed lol

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt smut #jschlatt imagine #jschlatt fanfic #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt smut #schlatt x reader #schlatt x you #schlatt x y/n #jschlatt fic #jschlatt fanfiction #schlatt imagine #schlatt fic #schlatt fanfic #schlatt fanfiction

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ohbabydollie · 2 months

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Mutual Breakup HC

Female reader gets a call from the school about her son being involved in a fight with another student

Schlatt follows her and they both learned that their son was being bullied for not having a dad because his parents aren't married

You walk into the office, schlatt and your son sitting at a table. across was a woman and her son, you recognized him as being on the same baseball team as your son, he looked as he always did. except with a busted lip and black eye, hair messy and shirt stretched at the collar.

you sit down next to your son, whispering “what the hell did you do now?”

before your son can speak the woman starts screaming “He beat the shit out of my poor son over here! GOD YOU WALK IN ALL INNOCENT, I BET YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT CRAP!”

she stands up and before she can continue the principal tells her to calm down

“look, ma’am, understand you’re frustrated but that doesn’t mean you can scream at other parents” he says calmly as she sits back down

“they’re lucky we don’t get the police involved. i need your son to apologize to my poor, innocent baby boy and we can all drop this” she demands as the kid has a shit eating grin on his face

“fuck no” schlatt says crossing his arms “my son doesn’t have to apologize for shit, suspend him, do whatever, but he’s not fuckin’ apologizing”

“jay! what are you doing!” you ask him “im so sorry, matt, apologize to the boy please” you say turning to your son before schlatt shakes his head no

“we’re not apologizin’ he can spend however long at my place but we. ain’t. sorry.” he says

“im not sorry n i never will be” your son replies, schlatt giving a confirming nod

you let out a groan

“look, we’ve been at this for well over an hour” the principal says rubbing his temples “we got two options, both parties apologize and they get back to class or 3 day suspension”

“we’ll take the suspension” “Schlatt! matty, please just apologize to the kid” you say turning to the woman

“look, im really sorry, normally my son doesn’t act out like th-” “it’s probably your slutty behavior teaching him like this!” she says as your mouth opens in shock

“excuse me?!” you say getting up

“oh what like everyone doesn’t know already? you and your, whatever the fuck he is,” she says gesturing to schlatt “weren’t together and haven’t been together his entire life. no wonder he’s acting out so bad, he’s upset for being cursed with a whore as a mom”

you suck your teeth before standing up “what happens in our home is no one’s business besides our own and you can forget about that apology! c’mon matty, we’re going for ice cream” you say standing up, grabbing your purse “we’ll take the suspension, it won’t matter when her kid is living at home in his 30’s”

your son quickly gets up, as you walk out and schlatt takes a quick candy off the bowl on the table as he walks out with a grin.

“meet us at the ice cream place down the street, i’m taking matt” you say walking to your car as schlatt nods.

“matt, what did you do?” you groan once you’re in the car “the pta moms are iffy about me already and once they find out my son beat up some kid? fuckkkk” you say rubbing your face

“im sorry mom” he says softly “it’s-” “just, please, can you save it so we can talk with your dad?” you ask as he nods

“im really sorry mom” he says looking up at you as you exhale and sit up

“you know what? you’re already suspended, it’s all in the past and it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s okay” you say starting up the car and driving off to the ice cream place, trailing after schlatt’s car.

once all of you arrive and are happily eating your ice cream that’s when you speak up “so, what even started the fight?”

you see your son’s mood change from what was calm to pissed off before he lets out a sigh “he was making funna me” he says upset “he called you a whore and i remember dad saying if they ever say anything bad about your mom, let them make sure they know you’re her son” he admits as you look to schlatt

“are you serious? why would you tell him to fight kids for me?” you ask

“mom, this isn’t the first time” matt says as you look to him “they make fun of me ‘cause the two of you aren’t together anymore and this was the first time they called you a name and-and i wasn’t gonna let them!” he says angrily

you look to schlatt as he nods in affirmation, “they make fun of him and say that i probably ran off to get milk and other shit”

you look to your son in sadness and shock “r-really?” you ask, he nods and that’s all you need as you start tearing up “i-i’m so sorry baby” you say hugging him

“you don’t gotta apologize ma” he says as you press a kiss to his forehead

“no, i honestly, im sorry honey” you say softly ��i almost made you apologize to that asshole kid! how about we go out today for dinner?” you ask, matt nods

“can dad come?”

“of course honey” you say happily as the three of you finish your ice cream “we’ll do it in reverse, dessert first and dinner last”

the day goes by, then somehow schlatt ends up back at your apartment, carrying matt up to bed before coming back down to you.

“you okay sweetheart?” he asks as you snap out of your thoughts and look at him

“yeah, yeah” you say walking over to him “you think we’ve played this little game long enough?” you question, running your fingers through his hair

“what game?”

“the lets pretend like me and my ex aren’t still in love, like we don’t still want each other and we haven’t wanted each other in years” you say softly “i think im tired of it”

“i am too” he admits, wrapping an arm around your waist

“let’s get married then” you say leaning into his touch “legally, we can move in together and stuff, matt can have his family together without going from house to house”

“that would be nice” schlatt whispers softly as you grin

“okay big guy, let’s get married” you say smiling

schlatt bends down to kiss you “god, ya don’t know how long i’ve been waitin’ to hear those words” he lets out a chuckle “i guess we also did this in reverse”

i feel like they’d get married before she gets pregnant tbh, but do everything privately and wouldn’t publicly announce anything until y/n is very visibly pregnant

#schlatt x reader #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt x y/n #schlatt x you #jschlatt fluff #schlatt fluff #jschlatt headcanons #jschlatt hcs #mbu!jschlatt

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littleskeletonprincessss · 8 months

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Here, have this

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"God, you're so annoying, y/n! You don't have any idea what you're fucking talking about!" Schlatt yelled, walking away from you and into the kitchen.

"Excuse me, Mr. I'm-too-busy-to-spend-even-a-second-with-my-girlfriend! It's not my fault you've taken on so much and stretched yourself so thin! You did this to yourself!"

It was the 5th night in a row where Schlatt had to call and tell you he 'had to work late' and 'sorry hon, rain check for dinner tonight'.

"Jesus Christ I am so tired of you nagging me all the time! You're always around, just leave me the fuck alone for once!"

"If that's how you feel then maybe we shouldn't even be together!"

"There's a bright idea. Nice to know you can have those every once in a while."

"Fuck you, Schlatt! We're done." You yelled, before grabbing your purse and walking out of his house.

Walking into your apartment, you let your purse drop to the floor and flopped onto your couch, leaning your head back, and letting out a loud sigh, releasing all the pent up anger you'd harbored on your angry drive home.

It unfortunately wasn't uncommon for you and Schlatt to get into arguments. They'd usually result in one of you storming out of the house, and either returning later that night to exchange apologies and end with rough, angy make up sex or returning the next day and deciding it'd be best for both of you if you took a break for a while.

This was the fourth time it'd happened, and you were tired of it. You loved Schlatt, you really did. But God was it exhausting to break up and get back together all the time. You knew that this wasn't what it was supposed to be like.

Deciding to call Schlatt in the morning you turned on your TV for the sole purpose of serving as background noise for you to numbly fall asleep to, preparing yourself for what would come in the morning.

-------

When you woke up, you briefly looked around your apartment before remembering the previous night's fight. You'd grown used to waking up in Schlatt's warm arms, his face buried in your neck from behind, so it was almost a strange feeling to be cold and alone.

Looking at the clock it read 10:30. Schlatt would probably be awake, most likely editing again. You pressed the call button on his contact half expecting him not to answer.

"Hey."

"I think we need to talk."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Coffee?"

"Yeah. I can be there in 20."

"See you then."

You left only a few minutes later after running your fingers through your hair and brushing your teeth, making yourself look somewhat presentable, and almost subconsciously walked to the coffee shop down the street, a place that had quickly become of favorite of yours and Schlatt's.

Looking around and not seeing him yet you at a table by the door, watching it and gently scratching your arms as a distraction from the way you were feeling.

Schlatt walked in and after briefly meeting your eyes sat silently across from you. It was obvious how little either of you wanted to be there right now, and it looked like neither of you wanted to speak first.

"Schlatt, we can't keep doing this."

Taking a deep breath, Schlatt muttered a defeated "I know."

"I think we need to break up. For good this time."

He sat silent for a long pause, staring at the fingers he was tapping on table.

"Whatever." he finally said, quickly standing up and leaving the coffee shop without another word or glance your way.

You sat for a bit, letting what had happened sink in. That was it. Wiping away the trapped tears that were making your eyes burn and throat hurt you left as well, walking the opposite way that Schlatt had, to your apartment, heartbroken and alone.

----------

It'd been a week. There were no texts, no calls, nothing exchanged between either of you. Schlatt hadn't posted anything, which surprised you. He had been trying to be more consistent with it. You posted a memory on Instagram and he wasn't among the notifications of likes like he normally would be.

This was foreign. You and Schlatt had started as friends before you'd gotten together the first time. You'd never gone longer than a couple days without any sort of contact, and that was only because he'd had to go back home and had forgotten his phone charger.

Your kitchen counters were littered with pizza boxes, food wrappers, bottles, you hadn't been bothered to cook anything or clean anything up. You could stand for a shower, shown evident by the greasy knot on top of your head and the thin layer of grime that had settled on your skin. Snotty and tear soaked tissues blanketed your living room floor. You were sinking and there was no one that could pull you up.

"I'm so pathetic" you whispered to yourself, looking at your smelly clothes and dirty surroundings. "I can't just sit here anymore." you resolved, standing up before moving to the bathroom to shower and start putting your life back in order.

------------

A few hours later you were tying the last garbage bag, your apartment, and you, looking leagues better than they had earlier..

A knock on your door pulled your attention away from cleaning. You hadn't ordered anything and your neighbors weren't usually the kind to stop by for anything.

Opening the door you were surprised by what you saw.

"Schlatt?"

There he stood, nearly filling your door frame with his large frame. He was unshaven, and his outfit looked about how yours had this morning, wrinkly and disheveled. But what surprised you was that he was crying. In all the time you'd known him, as a friend or a boyfriend, you'd never seen Schlatt cry.

But here he was, on your door step, big brown eyes watery with unshed tears, his nose running and red.

"Y/n" he choked out, voice rough from a combination of unuse and sobs.

Before you could say or do anything, Schlatt reached out and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug and hiding his face in your neck.

"I'm so so sorry for how I was treating you recently. You were right, I'd been spending too much time away from you. But I'm gonna get better." He blubbered.

"Schlatt--" you started, before he cut you off.

"I am. I'm going to be so much better for you. I know I don't deserve you, Y/n, I know you deserve someone who's so much better than me, but I'm gonna be better for you. I love you so much, angel. I know, we've had our issues, and i've said things in the past, but none of it is true. You're it. You're it for me. I need you in my life, Y/n. This last week has been hell without you. God I can't even begin to explain how I felt in the coffee shop when you said we were done for good. My whole world came tumbling down. It hurt so, so much. And I know it hurt you too and i'm sorry that I pushed you to do that. Please, give me one more chance. Please."

He looked into your eyes after that speech, trying to find your response before you said it.

Letting out a small sigh you pulled him down into another hug, clearing your throat from the new wash of tears that came over you.

"I love you, Schlatt."

You could feel Schlatt let out a breath you knew he'd been holding before he held you even tighter than before, if it was possible.

"I love you. So much."

#schlatt #jschlatt #schlatt x reader #jschlatt x reader

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bleue-flora · 2 months

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So um, in light of my last post I was inspired to look into other dsmp people's ages because I feel like we don’t really think about it too often and oh does it make things interesting…

Just for reference and consideration, here are some United States Legal Age Minimums:

Drive: 16-18

Adult: 18-21

Vote: 18

Drink Alcohol: 21

Political Office: 25 (Representative) 30 (Senator) 35 (President)

Military: 17-18

Also Note: On average the brain is scientifically not fully developed until age 25 - and oh wouldn't you know it 90% of the server fall under that, meaning no wonder we have a bunch of wars their prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed and wouldn't you know it that part of the brain is responsible for regulating attention, behavior, and emotion as well as the processing that Actions Have Consequences... huh whelp that makes sense.

Anyways… age data is below (I didn't do everyone nor every event - nobody got time for that ;D... I didn't have time for this to begin with lol...) But I specifically want to highlight that not only was Dream 21 from Jan-Aug of his Imprisonment, but Sam was also 21 till Jun, and Quackity was literally 20 while he was daily torturing Dream... 20?! They were roughly a year apart, all of them so close. Like can you imagine, treating your peer like that? Sam is like a couple months older than Dream and that's it. Quackity can't even drink legally in the United States. That's insane...

(* to signify canonical Immortality)

Ok, so the full list of members and ages is at the bottom, but first, here are so key events I picked just to highlight their ages at the time.

Server Creation - April 24, 2020

GeorgeNotFound - 23 Callahan - 23 Dream - 20 Sapnap - 19

L'Manberg War - August 2, 2020

BadBoyHalo - 25 WilburSoot - 23 GeorgeNotFound - 23 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 Eret - 21 Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 20 Fundy - 20 Skeppy - 20 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 19 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 17 Purpled - 16 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16

Pogtopia vs Manberg War - November 16th, 2020

Philza - 32* BadBoyHalo - 25 HBomb - 26 WilburSoot - 24 GeorgeNotFound - 24 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 Karl Jacobs -22 Antfrost - 22 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 21 Technoblade - 21* Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Connor - 21 Schlatt - 21 Fundy - 21 Skeppy - 20 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 19 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16

Exile - December 4, 2020

Ghostbur - 24 Technoblade - 21* Dream - 21 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 16 Tommy - 16

Doomsday - January 6, 2021

Philza - 32* HBomb - 27 Callahan - 23 Punz - 23 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 21 Technoblade - 21* Dream - 21 Fundy - 21 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 16

Disc Confrontation - January 20, 2021

HBomb - 27 BadBoyHalo - 25 Callahan - 24 Punz - 23 Antfrost - 22 CaptainPuffy - 22 Eret - 22 Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Ponk - 20 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 19 Niki Nihachu - 19 Jack Manifold - 18 Ranboo - 17 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 16

Quackity’s First Prison Visit - March 16, 2021

Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21 Quackity - 20

Techno's Visit- June 6, 2021

Technoblade - 22* Awesamdude - 21 Dream - 21

Jailbreak - November 28, 2021

Philza - 33* HBomb - 27 BadBoyHalo - 26 George - 25 Callahan - 24 Punz - 24 Karl Jacobs - 23 Antfrost - 23 CaptainPuffy - 23 Foolish Gamers - 22 Eret - 22 Technoblade - 22* Awesamdude - 22 Dream - 22 Connor - 22 Fundy - 22 Skeppy - 21 Hannahxxrose - 21 Ponk - 21 Quackity - 20 Sapnap - 20 Niki Nihachu - 20 Jack Manifold - 19 Purpled - 18 Ranboo - 18 Tubbo - 17 Tommy - 17

Comprehensive List From Oldest to Youngest: Name - Date of Birth (Current Age) - [Join Date] Age when Joined

Philza- March 1, 1988 (36) – [Nov 16, 2020] 32 *Immortal*

HBomb- Jan 4, 1994 (30) – [Sept 22, 2020] 26

BadBoyHalo- April 2, 1995 (28) – [May 19, 2020] 25

Wilbur- Sept 14, 1996 (27) – [July 12, 2020] 23

GeorgeNotFound- Nov 1, 1996 (27) – [April 24, 2020] 23

Callahan- Jan 19, 1997 (27) – [April 24, 2020] 23

Punz- Jan 31, 1997 (27) – [July 7, 2020] 23

Karl Jacobs- July 19, 1998 (25) – [Aug 26, 2020] 22

Antfrost- Aug 27, 1998 (25) – [Sep 5, 2020] 22

Captain Puffy- Sept 18, 1998 (25) – [Nov 16, 2020] 22

Foolish Gamers- Dec 18, 1998 (25) – [Jan 16, 2021] 22 *Immortal*

Eret- Jan 9, 1999 (25) – [July 19, 2020] 21

Technoblade- June 1, 1999 (23) – [Sept 22, 2020] 21 *Immortal*

Awesamdude - June 8, 1999 (24) – [April 28, 2020] 20

Dream - Aug 12, 1999 (24) – [April 24, 2020] 20

Connor- Aug 26, 1999 (24) – [Nov 16, 2020] 21

Schlatt- Sept 10, 1999 (24) – [Sept 20, 2020] 21

Fundy- Oct 10, 1999 (24) – [July 7, 2020] 20

Skeppy- Jan 17, 2000 (24) – [July 18, 2020] 20

Ponk- April 18, 2000 (23) – [May 7, 2020] 20

Quackity- Dec 28, 2000 (23) – [Aug 11, 2020] 19

Sapnap- March 1, 2001 (23) – [April 24, 2020] 19

Niki Nihachu- Nov 3, 2001 (22) – [Aug 6, 2020] 18

Jack Manifold- Aug 14, 2002 (21) – [Aug 3, 2020] 17

Purpled- Oct 24, 2003 (20) – [July 9, 2020] 16

Ranboo- Nov 2, 2003 (20) – [Nov 17, 2020] 17

Tubbo- Dec 23, 2003 (20) – [July 7, 2020] 16

Tommy- April 9, 2004 (19) – [July 4, 2020] 16

They are all babies confirmed... things make so much more sense... brain development guys it's important ;)

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ghostyoongs · 4 months

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What if you bump into schlatt Dallas Fort Worth International Airport, he turns around to help you up (you fell since he's a huge freaking guy) and says "sorry about that." But turns out, you guys are sitting next to each other on the plane!!! What??? Crazy

nonnie, your mind is huge. i wrote this in 30 mins while procrastinating my english homework so i’m sorry if this sucks. also i have no clue how to end this so it’s kind of abrupt, i had to stop myself from making it longer than two pages lmfaooooo.

word count: 894

you hated being late.

you could feel your heart pumping harder than ever before, the anxiety coursing through your veins. your apartment water heater broke, causing you to shower in freezing cold water, and then your cat sitter was late. finally, you were able to rush to the airport and fly through the tsa. all you could think about was getting to your gate and being able to sit down.

your mind was racing when you slammed into a wall and fell on your ass. no, not a wall, it was too soft to be a wall. you look up and your eyes meet with a man. he was attractive, with mutton chops and a tie-dye hoodie. he looks shocked, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“oh my god, i am so sorry about that.” he immediately started, bending at the waist and reaching out his hand to help you up. “are you okay?” his smooth voice rang in your head.

“no, no don’t apologize. i’m the one who ran into you.” you grab his hand and he pulls you up, still staring to make sure you’re okay. you brush off your pants before looking up at him. he looks at the watch on his wrist and he curses under his breath.

“i’m so sorry once again, i hope you’re okay.” his words barely registered in your head before he was gone, his large form weaving through the crowds of people. you shake your head to rid yourself of the thoughts of that large man and start rushing to your gate.

you’re the first person in line to get on the plane, thanking god your sister splurged to put you in business class. you find your seat and start trying to fit your luggage in the overhead compartment. the wheels on your suitcase spin widely as you struggle to fit it in.

“let me help.” a familiar voice comes from beside you, and large tie-dye sleeves come from behind you. he places your luggage in easily, before placing his next to yours. you turn around and come face to face with mutton chop man.

“we meet again, huh?” you ask him, smiling softly at him. he lets out a small chuckle at your words, his laugh like music to your ears. you fit yourself into your assigned seat and you find him sitting next to you.

“well, i guess i should introduce myself, i’m y/n.” you put your hand out for him to shake.

“i’m jay, nice to meet you again.” he shakes your hand softly and smiles at you. his smile is gorgeous and you feel the tips of your ears warming up. “what’s taking you to la?” he asks as other passengers hustle through the plane.

“my sister just had another kid and i’m going to visit and help her and my brother-in-law. how about you?”

“i’m visiting my best friend for the week.”

the conversation flows quickly between you two, the 3.5 hours feeling like twenty minutes. as the seatbelt light flashes he looks over at you.

“i don’t want to be too forward, but could i get your number?” he asks you, his soft eyes meeting yours.

“yeah! of course, of course.” he pulls out his phone and you quickly insert your number, sending yourself a text so you can save his number as well.

“maybe when we’re both back in austin we can do something together.” you smile softly up at the man and he smiles back.

“i’d like that.” he nodded and helped you take down your luggage.

you both leave the plane, walking into the terminal and you see your sister waving a sign with your name and dancing with your oldest nephew.

“i’ll text you,” you look up at him and wave softly, “it was really nice to meet you, jay.”

“it was nice to meet you too. have fun with your family.” he waves back at you before you bounce over to your sister, taking your nephew into your arms and spinning him around. your sister gives you a wink, already knowing that there is something new with you.

as you three walk out of the terminal, you see jay get into an older pickup truck. your sister nudges your arm and you let out a small giggle.

“soooooooo, who was that?” she asks impatiently as you both walk over to her car, helping your nephew into his car seat.

“his name is jay, i met him today and i don’t know. i don’t really believe in love at first sight but with him, i might.”

she laughs and pokes your arm at your words. “you are such a sap! but i can’t really say anything, the husband is at home with your new niece and i plan on using you to watch the kids this whole week if you know,” she winks as she ends her sentence and you laugh loudly.

your phone buzzes under your leg and you pick it up, a message from an unknown number lighting up your screen.

unknown: hi, it’s jay. i hope you get to your sister’s safe.

you smile and text back immediately, hugging the phone to your chest. the early morning weighs on you and you lay your head on the window, falling asleep to the scenarios of you and jay running through your head.

#talk to the clouds #jschlatt #schlatt #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #i hope you like this nonnie :D

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yumiis · 4 months

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｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ﾟ。 COUNTRY ISN'T BAD ; SCHLATT

　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

genre; tooth rotting fluff

type; drabble

a/n; this is a female reader! also, look. i'm from the south, i like country music, let me fulfill my cute little fantasy. i thought this was absolutely ADORABLE. btw, this fic is inspired by a couple songs. crazy girl by eli young band, and do i by luke bryan.

read below!

Ever since Jay moved to Texas, he quickly realized most radio stations tend to play country. Whether that be modern country, 90's country, or 2000's country, it was almost all country music. Jay isn't normally the type to actively listen to that kind of stuff, so he skimmed past the channels trying to find anything else.

This morning, Jay left you in bed alone to go run some errands. You knew that he was leaving early the night before, so you kept sleeping when he left. When Jay got in the car, he was far too tired to bother flipping through channels to find music he liked. He left it on a 2000's country channel, much to his dismay.

About an hour into the road trip, some of these songs got him thinking. Specifically, about you. The lyrics weren't all about tractors and beer, the songs he heard were.. genuinely sweet. Talking about how they love their girlfriends and wives, and how beautiful they look with no makeup, or how they wish they knew how their girlfriend was when they weren't there.

It was a bit later in the day, around lunchtime, and Jay was still out running errands. He decided to call you. He pressed your contact, and after a couple rings, you picked up. "Hey, baby." He smiled as you answered.

"Hey! How's your day been without me, huh?" He sounded a bit cocky, which was usual.

"Oh, it's been fine. Gonna be honest, pretty lonely. There's no one here to make me the best sandwich ever for lunch." You sighed. He chuckled a bit, "Aw, poor thing. I'll be home soon, I'm about 30 minutes out," He paused, thinking. "Y'know I love you?"

You swallowed, "Well, yeah, I sure hope so. We do have a house together.. And pets." He nodded, "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you soon, alright babe?" You smiled, "Okay, bye hon."

After you hung up the phone, he shoved his phone in his back pocket and made his way to his car to drive home to you. Of course, with more country music.

One specific song came on, apparently called 'Crazy Girl'. It really, really reminded Jay of you. The song went on about the girl being self conscious in the relationship, thinking the man would leave her. He goes on to comfort her and tell her she's wrong. Was he.. Was Jay crying? Over a country song? No way. He needed to get home.

After what seemed like an agonizingly long car ride, he finally made it home to you. His girl. He hopped out the car, locking it and making his way to the front door. "Baby! Sugar?" He smiled as he hung his keys on the hook by the door. You turned the corner, "Jay! You're in a really good mood," You smiled into his chest as you hugged him, "What's got you feeling so happy?"

"Country music." You scoffed, almost laughing. "No way, you? You listened to country music today?" He nodded, "Yeah, I did. It's all that was on the radio, sugar." You looked to the side, then back up at Jay. "Oookay.. Were you.. crying?" You noticed the red on his cheeks, and that his face was also a bit puffy.

"What? No! What a stupid assumption." He shrugged it off. You sighed, "You're telling me why you cried later, mister."

It was around 10pm now, both of you lying in bed together. "So, Jay?" He turned over, humming in response. "Why were you crying on the way home? Tell me or else." He sighed, "Okay, okay. I.. heard this stupid country song and it really reminded me of you. It was about this insecure girl," You paused him, "Woah, okay, rude." He shook his head, "No, stupid! Let me finish!"

He continued on about what the song was about, and you almost started crying. "Oh, Jay.. That's.. that's actually really sweet." He hugged you close to his warm chest, "I love you so much. You know that?" You nodded, burrowing into his neck. "Of course I do."

Jay softly hummed, then spoke, "Maybe country music isn't that bad."

#alex's writing #jschlatt #schlatt #mcyt #jschlatt x y/n #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x you #schlatt x y/n #schlatt x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt comfort #mcyt fluff #jschlatt fluff #jschlatt comfort #schlatt comfort #schlatt fluff

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samantha-rae-velcher · 11 months

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Fireworks

Jschlatt x Fem reader

Requested by: none

Warnings: Fluff, sexual comments, swearing, Soft! schlatt, it's a bit short but I saw fireworks today and I thought of him so I had to make this.

A/n: 18+ NSFW, if you don't like the warnings please don't read! Pls keep my comment section aggression free!

Tag: @goldenstarofthunderclan I LOVE YOU GIRRRRL!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

___

It was the 4th of July, Schlatt and Y/n were snuggled up on the couch together, Y/n kept glancing at the clock waiting for it to be 7:30 so they could pack their shit and go to their favorite spot on the hill before 8, in order to see the fireworks.

"What time is it?" Schlatt groaned, sounding sleepy.

"6:56" Y/n replied.

Schlatt rubbed his hand over his face and pulled her closer to his chest, snuggling his head into her shoulder.

"I'm getting tired."

"I know, this movie is boring as shit."

They were watching a dumb comedy movie, she liked comedy but this was shit. Y/n suddenly felt a rumble against her neck as Schlatt began snoring.

"Baby." She whispered. "If your falling asleep we should probably go."

He whipped his head up and coughed.

"Yep, we should get moving."

They rolled off the bed, grabbing the truck keys, Y/n's purse and headed out the door. They tossed the big warm blanket into the back seat, the night was chilly and they could hear their neighbors getting their stuff ready.

Schlatt started up the truck and began driving to their secret spot. It was a hill that they've been going to for years, no one else has ever used that spot to watch the fireworks so it was perfect, just the two of them.

When they got there, Y/n pulled the blanket out of the back and the two trudged into the woods, walking for a good 10 minutes before they got to the hill. Y/n laid out the blanket and cracked open her mountain dew, while schlatt grabbed a beer.

"Well look at this." He said, smiling at Y/n sitting down in the middle of the huge blanket. "Perfect place to just lay down and fuck."

"We'll do that after. Right now we're gonna enjoy the fireworks."

Schlatt took his spot right next to Y/n, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close. He leaned his head down and placed a gentle kiss against her neck.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too, baby."

There was a boom and a crackle as bright purple light spread across the sky. A smile appeared on Y/n's face when she saw more fireworks shoot into the air and explode into beauty.

Y/n snuggled into his side and looked at him, it was moments like this that made her realize how much she truly loved him. She kissed his jaw, his facial hair tickling her nose.

"Why can't we have more moments like this?" She asked.

"Like what?"

"Me and you sitting outside at night, huddled close just holding each other."

Schlatt looked down at her lips then back up at her eyes, green and pink flashed in her beautiful orbs making him smile.

"If you want this more often, we'll do this more often. Fuck, I'll drop my headphones and mouse and we'll do some romantic shit."

"Promise?" She asked in a hushed tone.

Schlatt leaned in and rubbed his nose against hers.

"I promise."

THE END ❤️

I hope you enjoyed

Reblogs are welcome 🤗

#fyp #foryou #fanfic #foryoupage #x reader #schlatt #jschlatt #jschlatt x y/n #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x Fem reader #jschlatt x female reader

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schlattsdoll · 9 months

Note

hear me out:

TAKING CARE OF LC!TED WHEN HES HIGH ON THE 400 MG EDIBLE!!!

you’re sitting in your apartment, watching tv and you get a text from ted.

ted: babe

ted: baby

ted: babyyyy

you: what’s up teddy?

ted: i miss you :(((

you: sweetheart, you know you have to sign the posters

ted: would be much faster if you came here you know?

you: ted, you’re with your friends, i don’t wanna intrude

ted: pleaseee?

you: how about you finish signing tonight, and tomorrow, dinner date at my place?

ted: fuck yes, okay

you giggled at your boyfriend’s silliness and went back to watching your show. however, about 30 minutes later, you got a call from ted. you smiled at your phone before picking up. “teddy, come on, you gotta work!” “uhhh, y/n, i kinda fucked up” “what? what did you do?” “ummm, you know how sometimes i do weed, and the max i’ve done is like 20 milligrams?” “…yeah?” “well… i might have accidentally eaten a 400 milligram edible…” “…theodore kennedy nivison. you did WHAT?” “yeah, i know, i’m sorry, i have about… 15 minutes before i go on the ride of my life.” you sighed at him. “teddy…” “well, at least you have an excuse to come here now right?” you giggled at him. “fine, i’ll be there”

you reached the misfits house to find no trace of ted, but you ran into schlatt. “hey schlatt, where’s ted?” “the dumbfuck’s on the armchair.” he pointed, snickering. you looked at him. he was curled up in a misfits hoodie, clearly uncomfortable, and you let out kinda an audible gasp at his state. “teddy…” he, surprisingly, lit up at the sound of your voice. “y/n- baby! everyone look! y/n’s here!” you walked over to him and shushed him between giggles. “sweetheart, you’re being kinda loud.” “oh noooo, am i?” “yes, you are, honey.”

remember how he said touching everything was uncomfortable and painful? yeah, he’d stay away from everything and everyone except you. he’d hug you and pull you into his lap, holding onto you tightly. you’d laughed at his actions. “baby, i thought you said everything hurt?” “nooo! everything but you. i loooove you.” he’d say, burying his head further in the crook of your neck.

and when ted had to go lie down, you were expecting him to let you go or say that it was too painful, but he pulled you to lie down on the couch with him. “teddy? you okay?” “mm, as long as you’re here…” he mumbled from his spot on the couch. “hey babe?” “yeah, honey?” “i’m sorry i’m not gonna make it to our date tomorrow.” you giggled at him. “baby, i think the date tomorrow should be the least of your worries right now”

ted suddenly got up and ran to the bathroom. “ted?” you knocked outside the bathroom door. he slowly opened it, and you found him, next to the toilet, on the floor. “aww, my poor baby.” you rubbed his back and got him to drink some water. and in that moment he realised that you really loved him. if you were willing to go through this with him, then you loved him. and he loved you. his high eventually started wearing down, and you tucked him into bed. you try to leave but he grabs your wrist. “stay here please?” you smile at him sweetly. “of course, baby.” you climb into bed with him, his head on your chest. your fingers find their familiar way into his hair and after a while of playing with it, you heard his soft snores. you kissed his forehead and whispered, “you’re ridiculous but i love you, teddy boy.” and to your surprise, he mumbled, “love you too, darling.”

FLUFF??? WHO AM I??? anywho ted is living rent free in my brain rn, so more thoughts from your fav attention whore! <33

yours truly,

- 🤭 anon!!

ANNA COMIN WITH THE FLUFF??? i love it omg honestly it’s so perfect i have nothing to add

#anna ❦#🤭 anon #ted nivison smut #ted nivison headcanons #ted nivison fluff #ted nivision smut #ted nivison x reader

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superdecibels · 6 months

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Finally managed to finish an Inktober (after 7 attempts 😩)

I decided this year I'd just make MCYTober and just draw whatever I thought of when I read the prompt. Hence there's like 2 random Schlatts in there. I also forgot to post it on Nov 1 but thats because we had spent the entire day at the cemetery.

Anywho, here's the list of prompts and what I made for em:

1: Dream - Dream vs the hunters

2: Spiders - couldnt think of anything so I just made Schlatt

3: Path - Grian and Scar lost their path

4: Dodge - Tommy dodging arrows

5: Map - Techno, Phil and Pete planning their world domination

6: Golden - Sneegsnag stealing some golden ingots

7: Drip - Grian and Scar and the dripstone kill

8: Toad - Techno and a toad

9: Bounce - Bunnyblade bouncing away

10: Fortune - Phil's greatest fortune

11: Wander - a wandering ghost(bur)

12: Spicey - Tango eating a chili pepper

13: Rise - L'manberg

14: Castle - sandcastle

15: Dagger - Chayanne peeling a potato

16: Angel - Philza, angel of death

17: Demon - Philza, angel of death

18: Saddle - Technoblade riding to battle

19: Plump - Schlatt with apple ig

20: Frost - Martyn, a chillager

21: Chains - hoghunt Techno

22: Scratchy - 100 days zombie boy Tommy

23: Celestial - Scott Smajor

24: Shallow - Bobby looking at pebbles in the shallows

25: Dangerous - Scar and his MLG water bucket

26: Remove - Grian, the door thief

27: Beast - Techno and the gold/emerald thieves

28: Sparkle - Pomme

29: Massive - Cleo giving a massive L

30: Rush - Tommy rushing into battle

31: Fire - Nikki arson era

Maybe next year, I'll have enough time to make them digitally

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4thebedrockbros · 2 months

Text

Hear me out ...

Spy × Family - A SBI AU

Philza " Phil " Minecraft as Loyd Forger

Alias : Phil Watson , the best spy in the country

Age: unknown, above 35

He has abandoned everything about his past to work for his country as an undercover spy under the codename " The Angel of Death ".

For his new mission , he's required to adopt a child and marry someone to access his target J. Schlatt .

An easy mission , he just has to remember not to get attached.

Tommy Innit as Anya Forger

Alias : Thomas " Tommy " Watson , a mind-reader

Age : 10 ( pretends to be 12 )

Tommy is a government experiment that escaped into the outside world . Getting adopted as been hard for him , with people thinking he's " too much " to handle .

When a spy adopts him , he know his life is about to get 1000% cooler . He just has to hide his power to not get caught again , easy peasy .

Technoblade as Yor Briar Forger

Alias : Techno Watson , an assassin

Age : Above 30

(this one I changed the most about)

After loosing everything in the war , Techno was hired and trained by " The Pit " to become an assassin, his goal is to get rid of the corrupted government .

Working as a librarian on the side , people around him start to get suspicious of the lonely man with one too many scar .

So when that blond guy ask him to marry him , he just agrees thinking people will get off his back if he has a kid and a husband.

Not like he wants to actually be friend with the guy . Or actually like the kid .

---

J. Schlatt as Donovan Desmond

Aka Phil's target

Age : Above 45

Asshole politician with dumb policies .

Tubbo Underscore as Damian Desmond

Aka Tommy's target

Age : 12

A genius kid trying to impress his dad to finally be noticed

He just wants him to love him , even just a little bit .

---

#ctommy #clingy duo #sbi #sbi fanfic #sbi family dynamic #cphilza #ctechno #bedrock bros #emerald duo #tommyinnit #philza minecraft #technoblade #sbi au #its such a good idea #ctubbo #sleepy bois inc #sleepy bois au

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chuckle-lore · 2 months

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youtube

Episode 2- February 6 2021- Holy shit we got lore

Lore-

To make things clear: whenever I mention someone in the lore section, I am strictly referring to their CS! character. (Also, sorry for being inconstant with time stamps but I was watching with my mom and I didn’t want to annoy her by rewinding every two minutes)

4:31 Schlatt says that Ted tried to snipe him for being absent

Ted both ogles Charlie and talks shit about his appearance (specifically his nose)

Charlie mentions how he can easily throw Ted off a roof and catch him before he falls on the ground and this is considered one rep. This implies that Charlie is much faster than the average human and is stronger than one as well even if it’s slightly.

20:10ish we get to know about “Two-Faced Teddy” which is the nickname Schlatt and Charlie use for Ted

Charlie mentions that Ted cries black tears which are later to be confirmed to be tar

Ted admits he is a demon and talks to voices in his head. He tells one of said voices that he refuses to kill Charlie and Schlatt. Wether these are voices in his head or of a higher power is unclear but they do seem to have at least some influence over Ted.

“There’s a lot of gray in the black and white” this quote from Schlatt that 1) goes hard and 2)implies his morally dubious nature

Schlatt gives rabies to animals and shoots them. The ability to give rabies is called the “rabies radar”

These three are messy bitches that ruin each other’s merch/photos for the drama

33:20 Schlatt “went back” and changed the three’s contracts so he can have 50% of the profits. I am interpreting this to be either the works of time travel or reality bending, but with the phrasing of “went back” I am personally leaning towards time travel.

The current profit split is Schlatt 50%, Charlie 30%, and Ted 20%, neither Ted or Charlie seem satisfied with this cut

Some time in the Charlie’s youth, he almost was dragged into a foam pit to drown by Ted, Charlie ends up escaping just to find out Ted was now his coach. The only ways I can think of this working is if Ted has the ability to either teleport, extreme speed, some type of time manipulation, reality bending or a mix of multiple options. Either way Ted is op.

Originally the bottom of foam pits were portals that take you to the end in Minecraft but this was quickly changed to be diseased ridden areas that creatures and Ted lurked in

To summarize the lore: Ted is a demon, Schlatt and Charlie are have some type of abilities and are possibly not human, and all three of them are petty

Thoughts: This episode was just so much fun, everyone was goofing around and I’m surprised that I never revisited this episode before starting this project but I had such a good time. If I had to recommend an episode to a new watcher, it would be this one 9/10 go watch it if you haven’t.

Things I noted:

I love seeing the fanart in the beginning and I wish they bring it back

There’s a frame that made it look like Schlatt was giving birth and I did NOT needed to see that (this docked a point from my score

The lighting in Ted’s room improved

My attention was distributed more evenly in here compared to the first episode where it felt like Charlie and Schlatt took up most of it

We see that one picture of roided up Charlie which I think is pretty iconic and am conflicted about it being considered lore. They all confirm that’s what Charlie looks like but the photo originated from twitter which violates the first requirement to becoming lore (content must’ve originated from chuckle sandwich) I am debating with myself whether or not I can consider this the official cs!Charlie designed.

(Original notes and roided Charlie under the cut)

#ep. 2 #chuckle lore #chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy #ted nivison #schlatt #jschlatt #charlie slimecicle #slimecicle #Youtube

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hermithomebase · 1 year

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george wont experience twink death hes gonna commit twink suicide like schlatt at age 30

#entry.txt #gnf

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